#help i'm going back to uni next week ;;;;;-;;;;;
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so this came to my head :)))
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Saturday But in Your Sunday Best
bfd!joel miller x younger fem!reader
summary: joel has a co-worker's wedding in las vegas. everything that can go wrong, does.
warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap, smut, p. in v., creampie, oral (f. and m. receiving), breast play, fingering, dacryphilia, degradation kink, ANGST (as in i've suffered so will my characters. this wasn't at all what i had envisioned at first for this part), hurt/comfort, a bit of fluff (that's new), pls be nice this writer's block shot me in the foot
word count: 11,121 words
side note: sorry this took so long. between movie watching for the oscars, my other works, midterms, pedro pascal horny hours, my wattpad fic, the max fic you citizens let flop (ĉüřşę ÿoụ āĺļ), the brat taming fic that made numbers among my oomfs on twitter, a very shitty date (the situational irony of letting a man ruin my women's day) a ptwt fic gc in twitter (love u frens), and uni again, i let the ttdik series collect dust, my bad. as compensation, take this girthy chapter altho it makes me kinda insecure IDK. this is why i don't do series okay!! i'm my worst enemy and i fear procrastination is a chronical disease of mine atp
part: prev | masterlist | next
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas
His foot taps anxiously against the marble floor, sound drowned by the bustling crowd.
People come and go. Some hug, others cry. And Joel? Well, he's just waiting for you to come.
He checks his watch, the one Sarah gifted him, and sighs. Should've known better.
It's been two months since the pregnancy scare, and ever since then, you have put a bit of a distance between yourselves.
It was slow, gradual: first the excuses then nights were you wouldn't stay or ask him to. And, even if your affair was that, just an affair, he missed sleeping in the warmth of your embrace. He also missed the way your nose would crinkle when you laughed. You didn't laugh that often anymore, and if you did, it sounded like you were holding in: as if you were afraid to let loose and let him see through you. And to be honest, it was killing him.
So when he reached out to you for this, he should've expected for you to say no. That you wouldn't show up after that I'll see if I'm free text: no, Joel Miller simply shouldn't have harbored that much hope for his daughter's bestfriend he happened to be banging.
If he hadn't confirmed his invitation, he'd probably gone home and layed down. Watch some garbage TV with Sarah and some beer in hand, but here he was, like a lonely loser, luggage in hand.
(Sarah helped him pack. He didn't even know what to wear to a wedding, and then she showed up with his old suit-- that still fit, somehow, albeit a bit more tight, from the dry cleaning. Joel would be lost without her)
The speaker announces his flight is about to leave. Joel gets up, trying not to be dissappointed about the whole thing. He's got no right to, after all.
"Joel?"
He'd end up breaking his neck by how fast he turned.
There you are, and it's like the weight he wasn't aware of, settling on his chest, had been removed.
"You made it" is the first thing that makes it out of his lips.
You softly laugh, "Hello, Joel"
He gets closer to you, slowly, like if he where to do it faster, he'd scare you off. Or you'd be gone, as if a dream.
(It'd be a nightmare, though, because you wouldn't be here)
"Sorry. I-" he cuts off, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. There's some tension lingering in the air, the same when you left his house a week ago. Joel had been too much of a coward to invite you then, rather hiding behind a screen.
But now you were here.
"I didn't think you'd come" he says after a beat of silence.
You tilt your head to the side, eyebrow up as if you hadn't been acting weird at all.
"Why wouldn't I?"
(Because it seems like being in the same room as me tires you. That your eyes don't shine anymore, and the starry sky looks like a storm when you dare search my gaze as we fuck. Every time you breath, its like breathing the same air as me burns)
He rather not press, so instead, he says:
"I'm jus' glad ya' came. 'S all"
You nod, not adding anything at all. Then, both you walk to your gate, side by side in silence, the same that had seemed to seep inside your romance for the past weeks.
Well, romance was definitely a stretch. An affair seemed more like it.
Of course, you're aware the change it's on you. It would've been dumb of you to think Joel wouldn't notice your withdrawal, or how more often than not you'd be stuck in your head. But still, he didn't comment on it, and like you, danced around the subject, afraid for different reasons as yours. Or the same. Yet, you'll never know. No, you're aware you both are too stubborn, and that whatever it started on that day, had settled in between like a burning flame.
(Had you been engulfed by the fire yet?)
You try not to think about it. After all, you had the option not to come. But a weekend away in Las Vegas after midterms? Too tempting to let go.
(And it's not like images of a stood up Joel in the airport, looking miserable, had made you restless the last couple of days after his text)
"Ya' can take the window" he says, even if it's his seat.
He knows you're nervous about flying, a little detail that came up during a post-sex small talk.
(What're you're dreams? Joel asked. You had answered that you'd love to travel the world after graduating, but that you had a fear for flying, despite having only done it once. It may have been because the first time you did, it was to fly for your grandma's funeral. Perhaps it was by association then, that the bad feelings about boarding a plane could be related to that)
"Thanks" you mumble, sitting down. You're avoiding his gaze, but know he's looking at you.
"What?" a little harsher than intended.
He looks taken back, looking at his lap as he let's out a soft whisper, sheepishly:
"Nothin'. Jus' thinkin' you look pretty today"
A light blush creeps up your cheeks as you huff out a Whatever.
Joel let's a breath of relief out his tight chest and allows himself to smile.
(At least, he's still got an effect on you)
The wedding Joel was supposed to attend is in the Ángel De La Guarda cathedral. You'd be staying nearby, at a hotel room Joel's coworker had paid for, the same where the reception would take place.
Being in the same room as Joel one night should be the least of your worries, but then the space is even smaller than it was supposed to (given by Joel's cursing as he paced around, anxiously), and the strain of your relationship settles in the air, physically so, tight around your throat.
Then, it's the bed issue: there's only one. It's not like you haven't slept in the same bed before, obviously, but there's a certain dread deep in your stomach about sharing the enclosed space when you're at your most vulnerable. He moves around a lot during night, and something tells you you'd wake up to his strong arms and hot breath fanning over your neck, hairs rising at the proximity, making it harded to calm your heart.
"You okay?" he's asking, dropping the bags in a corner.
"At what time is the wedding?" you ask.
He checks his watch. "In about seven hours"
The glass bounces a ray right into your face, and you have to close your eyes at yet nother reminder of why this is all so wrong.
Sarah.
"We should rest..." he says, plopping on the bed. His plaid t-shirt rises up at the same time the color of your cheeks does, when the glimpse of soft tanned skin reveals itself. He looks up to your stiff standing figure, bulk arms behind his neck as he rests his head on his biceps. "Don't 'cha think?"
Lay with me. Not outloud.
"No" you say, hastily so, not missing the way a flicker of dull akin to the pain of rejection finds its way to his brown eyes. "I..." your voice softens. "I'd rather take a tour of the place, you know? It's not like I'll come every weekend here"
He's about to raise up. I'm coming with you, again not out loud, in case you'd reject his offering again.
Which you do.
"I'm fine" you say, grabbing your purse. "Just... I need a moment"
Away from you.
"Suit yourself" but there's a sharp edge on his apparent kindness.
Closing the door behind you, it takes all of you to not turn around and see his face one last time.
You wander off through the bright lights and noisy hallways, walking until the sun of the outdoors filters a ray over the carpet through the glass doors. Strides take you to the pool area, kids giggling, parents sunbathing and youngsters chilling.
You sigh, dipping your feet in the pool, chlorine up your nose and water baterly grazing your sundress.
But you're drowning.
Drowning on his presence, every room he's in now smaller. Walls of the room collapsing, as the ones of your lungs, every breath tight if your nose catches a whiff of his scent lingering in the air. You'd wash the sheets almost immediately, crying when your head hit the pillow and it smelled like lavender and not Joel.
It was the only right choice: to erase him out of your life, because with every new kiss and thrust, he'd take another part of you with him, and you don't know how much more you can give of yourself without dying. A part of you dies every time he walks out the door, anxious heart pondering when will he walk out for good. When he'll realize the thrill is gone, that your escapades were all but a product of his crisis, and what started as a mutual use of bodies, ends in the waste of your heart.
Joel has become a drug for you: knowing it's destructive, but the high so addictive, you don't mind the crash. It's unevitable, and a small treacherous voice in the back of your head says you're just postponing a foretold death.
Yet Joel Miller makes you feel alive. Alive as a spring, grassbed full of blooming flowers. As sun carressing your skin: if you stay too long, the warm becoming burning.
A kid walks up to your sad lonely pensive corner, splashing water onto you.
"Hey!" but he's gone, and it's Vegas, so his parents are three mojitos down from the open bar, asleep under the sun. You curse, getting up and back to your room to change.
When you get to your room, is eerily quiet. And dark, the curtains closed.
You rumage through your suitcase, pulling out a change. The dress slips off, falling to the carpet with a pathetic drowned sound. You're about to change into the t-shirt when the lights flicker.
"You back?"
You scream, trying to cover yourself.
"Woah!" Joel covers his eyes, both your reactions ironically funny. Your cheeks burn as you finish dressing yourself up, and if he takes a small peak between his fingers, well, you'll never know. "Jesus, doll. If ya' wanted it so bad, could've asked"
Something akin to anger and deception morph into a burning flame in the pit of your stomach. Even after all this months, after this imminent fight, Joel can't bring himself to ask, dancing around the fragile line that barely holds on with the clap of skin against skin and sweat, as to replace the tears that will never see the light of the day.
"Right, because that's all I want"
He raises an eyebrow at your tone. "S' a joke"
"Jokes are supposed to make people laugh"
He shoots you a look, before standing from the bed.
"What's gotten into ya'?"
He walks closer, yet you give him your back, tossing the sundress with too much force in your bag.
"Don't know what you're talking about" as nonchalant as you can muster.
"Look at me" you keep the harsh packing going on. Joel grows impatient at your confusing demeanor, not just from today, but days ago. He's had enough. He spins you around, losing his cool as he shouts. "Damn it, y/n, stop actin' like a brat!"
"Don't touch me!" you yell back, pulling away.
"So that's how's it now?" Joel lets out a scoff. "Y' get on ma' bed but the moment I put a finger in ya', y'act all coy and angry?"
"Right, 'cause I'm a slut. That's what sluts do: we get on lonely men's bed and fuck them"
He grabs the bridge of his nose, breathing heavily. His voice is laced with frustration, and you know it's your fault.
"Never said that"
Why not talk it like adults? No. Too much of a coward to do that.
"Jus' tell me, doll. What's goin' on?"
I think I love you, and I'm fucking scared.
His voice is soft, pleading. In your lifetime, you never thought you'd see Joel Miller beg. You did once, but it wasn't like this. Please, he'd say. Now, here he is, standing before you like the smallest man who ever lived and not the unstoppable force you made him out to be.
It should be easy. But words never come easy. Not to you. Neither love, so foreign it makes you shiver with fear. So natural, one day you opened your eyes to him laying next to you, Sarah staying in another city for a soccer tournament, and decided that was what you wanted. All his mornings. His bed voice, thick from sleep. His droopy eyes and tired smile, facil hair tickling your face as he says Good mornin', Southern drawl never more prominent, kisses in between. Let's get sum coffee after, because he always had to drink the bitter liquid out of his owl mug or wouldn't be able to make it through the day.
You want him to be the first thing you see when you open your eyes.
You want Joel Miller. Want. Want. Want.
"I hate you"
You have ruined me.
He probably expected anything but that, given his crestfallen face. Joel wishes for time to go back, at the beach. He'd say no, push you away. Fought a little harder. Never gotten into your bed.
The worst part is, he's a fucking liar: he'd probably still choose the same, even if the end is near.
"You ain't mean that" not knowing if he's trying to convince you or himself. "Jus' wanna hurt me"
You don't humor him with an answer.
"I shouldn't have come" is what you say instead, the bitter taste of defeat and hurt etched in your voice.
Would've been easier to stop when we should've.
His words run through the tense air like a bullet.
"I agree"
Weddings had always made you cry.
You weren't even a romantic, but the whole thing-- the promise of forever, it seemed to move your heart a bit.
So, if your eyes shimmer when the bride makes her entrance and the groom, Joel's co-worker, tears up, you feel your chest tight and stomach drop. It clenches with something akin to dread and want, as if suddenly, all that mattered to you was love. A year ago, if you told yourself-- the one who got on her knees to suck Joel's dick at the beach that night, that you'd be here?
You would've laughed.
Falling for the grumpy old man who also happens to be your bestfriend's dad?
Right. Imagine that.
Except there is nothing to imagine. All of it is real.
From his quiet laughter, the sound foreign and not frequent by the way it rasps against his throat. But now the wrinkles around his eyes are more prominent, forbidden laughs marking his blushing face. as he looks away, embarrassed. You can laugh, you had said, I won't tell anyone, yet he made you swore like the sight of Joel Miller laughing was the worst thing in the world. So had become the grey strands on his hair, more sprouting each time, as his damp curls twisted in your fingers.
It is also in the way his sweat that drops over your body as he tries hard to last longer, to his grunts that fill the room as he fills you to the brim with his warm cum. How his rough seems to meet every inch of your soft skin, like pieces of a puzzle.
Something clicks when you're with Joel, and you can't help but feel it's your fault this rift has been created, aggressively peeling the white off your nails as some form of anxious torture. But, he too, aside from his initial Just glad you came, hadn't said a word about it again. Even if he had noticed it all, before Vegas too. Nothing. And then Joel told you it was best if you didn't come. Fucking great.
You feel him tense next to you, body stiff when your arm accidentally brushes his when you stand up from the bench, making you roll your eyes.
The fallout had been awkward. The elevator ride took forever, and then the space on the cab felt too small. He took you to the back, on the benches near the exit, like he didn't want to be seen with you. It got you fuming: why bother to invite you at all?
In all truth, you could've picked up your bags and left after the fight, yet you stayed. You wonder who's more of a coward. In this weird dancing around you've got going on, walking in circles over the words Stay and Leave, like both are too delicate to say out loud. Even as the couple speak their vows, amid the claps and tears, your mind keeps drifting back to one question: Which would hurt less?
It's not until it ricochets on your arm that you realize the tears are also your own. You brush it fast, but by the corner of your eye, you know Joel notices. Still, he doesn't say anything, which contributes to your spite.
The ceremony is over, and just as you can feel the anticipation of the reception's drinks to buzz your nerves down, someone blocks you the exit. A couple, more like it.
Before fully registering their faces, Joel's hand flies to your back, pressed in a firm manner that oozes protectiveness. It makes your heart flutter, no matter how much you try to suffocate the treacherous butterflies in your stomach. You try not to think too much about it as you take them in: a man, looking in his middle forties, probably around the same age as Joel, so as the woman next to him, who smiles warmly. Not like the man, who seems unwelcoming.
"Joel" he pronounces his name, manners coming out cold. "It's nice to see you made it"
His grip on your back becomes more firm.
"Mark" he uses the same tone. "Well, when ya' confirm, y'gotta come"
"And who may this be?" Mark's wife asks, not thinking there's harm in her words. You swear you can hear him snicker next to her.
"She's-"
Joel stops midtrack. How is he supposed to even call you?
"I'm his girlfriend"
You don't know why you did that but you did. You also don't know why it causes you such satisfaction to see their wide eyes and Mark's disdain.
"Oh, I didn't know you had a girlfriend. How lovely!"
His cheeks go pink. "Thanks, Laura"
"Yes, Joel. Didn't think you'd move on" but his tone isn't like his wife's. "I just assumed that being with someone wasn't on your list anymore, you know, at your age. Especially one so... young"
Laura shots him a look.
Maybe it wasn't your place to get angry, not after how you've subjected Joel to your silent treatment this past months. Not after the fight you've just had hours ago. But he is also the same man who held your hand after you thought you were pregnant. He was the one who stayed. It is too how his shoulders slump, like he believes it to be true. You can't bear to see him sad, as contradictory as that may sound.
"Mark, right?"
The man nods, still sickly smiling.
"To me it sounds like you're jealous. Which is awful, because you've got a lovely wife" she looks away embarrassed while Mark fumes. "Also, when I turn around, try not to stare at my ass. I saw you when we arrived"
There's nothing left to say, so you walk past them.
"I think that was funny. Don't you?"
He avoids looking at you.
"I called a cab. Should take us back to the hotel"
No thanks. Nothing.
"Alright" your tone is dry. "Do as you please"
He opens the door for you, but his movements seem stiff and unnatural. Like he's second guessing every breath and step.
The car begins to move. You lean against the window, seeing the hues of neon through the glass. Joel's eyes burn holes on your head, a glimpse of brown in the reflection.
"I liked the wedding"
Joel looks at you properly for the first time since the fight. Your hair falls gracefully in cascades, hinting at an effort that tries to pass as a nonexistent one. Your makeup is soft, but your lips are in a shade he can't quite name, yet manage to make them even more fuller than usual. God, he thinks of it smeared on his clothes and mouth, feeling dumb all of the sudden. Then there's the dress. He doesn't have a favorite color, but as of now, it may be red: specially if its the red that hugs your curves, pushes your tits up and gives a little peak of your leg with its open cut, dangerously close to the start of your inner thigh. Not appropriate to wear at a church, maybe not a wedding either, but fuck didn't he care. He'd even rip it off, if it was such a problem.
"It was beautiful" he agrees, softly. "Never been to one. Maybe's why I think so"
You remove yourself from the window, now holding his gaze.
"What?" your mouth drops in surprise. "What about yours? Weren't you married?"
He smiles, but it appears to be sad. "Never got time for a wedding thought"
Joel has told you things. Things he'd never say outloud to anyone else. So whenever he opens up, letting you in, you let him, feeling that familiar pleasing ache in your chest at the thought of being enough: enough to be trusted with a piece of him. Of Joel Miller's heart.
The rest of the ride is silent, your mind still on Joel's hand on your back, on his words, and how the sting never goes.
In every thought of yours, he is.
"What'appened to your nails?"
The question catches you off guard. You're surprised he even noticed at all. But your hand lays in the space between his and your dish, stiff, as if waiting for him to hold it.
"Oh" you remove it from the table, placing it in your lap. "I chipped the polish off"
"Why?"
You turn to look at him, brown eyes examining you curiously, as if he didn't know you. Like he hadn't almost whisper those three words you had been tettering around as well.
"Why what Joel?" tone brash.
He scoffs at the change again, shoulders slumping a bit. Probably in annoyance, perhaps in defeat.
"Dunno" he goes back to his dish, cutting the steak with a bit too much force. I thought we were okay again. "S'rry I asked"
Your chest tightens, as it had been doing lately.
Was this the only thing you knew how to do now? Hurting Joel?
"No, I'm sorry"
It's his turn to get back at you. "Sorry for what?"
You swallow the lump that's formed in your throat, avoiding his gaze.
"I-"
Your eyes nervously dart across the room, trying to ignore the churn of your stomach and knot on your throat. You then catch the perfect distraction.
"I think Mark is staring at us again"
"What?" Joel asks in disbelief at your change of topic.
"Mark is staring" you sigh, getting up and dusting your dress off. "Wanna put on a show?"
"I didn't come to a wedding and wore this dress to be seated all night" you extend your hand. A quiet truce settles in between. "Let's dance"
At some point he gets up and takes your hand. It feels good. For a moment, be it childish or foolish, your mind thinks this is how it is: with no one around to know you, you're his and he's yours. It's just the two of you, dancing and laughing under the lights. He'd know the song that's playing, and when you'd ask, unfamiliar, Joel would joke: how could ya' know it, if you ain't even born yet?
For just a moment, it feels like it could be.
The music is soft. It's some sort of rendition of Lady, Lady, Lady by the band Jim hired to play at his wedding.
Joel's clammy hands slip against your cold palms as you walk to the dance floor.
"Nervous?" you ask, biting back a smile.
He squints his eyes at you. "I'm just outta practice, 's all"
You laugh. "I would've never guessed"
He shakes his head, but the ghost of a smirk hides in his lips.
"Cheeky baby. Now you actin' funny?"
Joel's hand finds its place in your waist, holding firmly as the first verses go by.
Dancing behind masks, just sort of pantomime.
But images reveal whatever lonely hearts can hide.
"Maybe I'm just tired" you reply, placing your head against his chest. His heart starts drumming faster, and you hear him gulp.
"It ain't even midnight yet"
You close your eyes, feeling every breath of his chest against your cheek.
"You know that's not what I'm talking about"
Lady, lady, lady, lady
I know it's in your heart to stay
"Y/n-"
Lady, lady, lady, lady
"I'm sorry" this time clearer.
His body rocks yours slowly to the tempo of the music, and for a brief moment, amongst the sea of guests and the voice of the singer, time stops, and it's just him and you.
"Don't"
He can't bear it. Not tonight.
When will I ever hear you say
I love you
Not when your body feels so well against his, your head resting on his chest like all those nights ago, where Joel held you close, the silent promise of never letting you go on his warm strong embrace. Not when just the thought of losing you is too unbearable to even think of. Not when today, he can let his mind drift away and heart beat, dreaming of things that'll make him the butt of the joke. For a moment, you're not wearing this red dress that's making him insane. You're all in white and there's a ring in your hand, just as there's one in his. You'd dance and say I'm yours, forever. A giggle. You can't get rid of me. And he'd smile and reply a Good, wasn't plannin' to.
But now he feels like he's going to lose you forever.
"I missed you" it's your way of trying, again.
His head is a whirlwind of emotions.
"Yeah?"
You lean closer, until his cologne burns in your nostrils.
"Yeah"
Time like silent stares, with no apology
"Joel"
Move towards the stars, and be my only one
This time, he finds it impossible to shut you up. Not when you've raised your head until your eyes meet his, and the constellations he very much loves are ever present in your stare.
Reach into the light, and feel love's gravity
"Yeah?"
You pull in closer, and he can feel the whiff of champagne coming out of your mouth. Your lips are parted, and a shaky whisper is all it takes for his head to spin, drunk in love.
"Please"
That pulls you to my side, where you should always be
Your lips are so inviting. All he has to do is cut the centimeters separating your mouths.
But it's a wall. One filled with doubts, fear and the quiet rage of rejection.
His voice wavers when he starts speaking.
"I think-"
He hasn't even finished his sentence, but your heart is already broken.
No wonder why you've always treated it like a burden: nothing is worst than a heavy heart.
Maybe he'd come to realize just how absurd this all was. Him, much older than you and Sarah's dad. How could he let his daughter's bestfriend go this far. That he was a forty something guy, dancing with a twenty two year old girl. That love comes in all shapes and sizes, but there's no name for this you have going on since last summer. Perhaps, there'll never be.
"Please" you hear yourself repeat.
It started as a plea for a kiss. You don't know what you're begging for anymore.
"No, baby-"
And Joel is the first to step back.
Lady, lady, lady, lady, I know it's in your heart to stay
The cold water of rejection hits you in the face, far from his warm embrace, the contour of his face, centimeters away, now meters.
"We can't"
An ocean away.
"Joel-" your throat tightens, panic bubbling in your chest.
"I think we should stop"
The whole world around you does as soon as those words leave his mouth.
Sorrow is quick to turn into anger, and all those months of guilt, rush, thrill, labored breaths, broken rules and promises you held to your heart as an oath, sweet whispered cons in your pillow that smelled like him. It all comes crashing down with force.
A dry laugh escapes past your lips. Joel winces at the sound.
"A bit too late for that, isn't it?"
"Baby-"
"Don't call me baby" you hiss, feeling your vision blurry. "Don't call me like you meant it"
"I do" the music has reduced to a buzz in the back of your head. His firm voice borders between desperate and pathetic. "Which is why am making 'tis"
"Fucking coward" you spit, feeling your skin on fire.
Don't give up. Please.
Fight for me. Fight for this.
For us.
"Coward?" it's Joel's turn to laugh. His dark chuckle sends shivers through your skin. "Y' shouldn't be talkin' 'bout that"
"Don't put all of this on me" you raise your shaky finger, accusing. "Don't you fucking dare"
"Thought Mark was watchin'. Or 's that 'nother one of y'r lies?" Joel seethes. "Or maybe ya' don't give a shit 'bout it. Jus' like you ain't give a shit 'bout us!"
"You think this is easy?" your voice raises. "You think I wanted this?"
You think I don't care? That I'm doing well? That I wanted to pull away from you? That I knew things would got as bad as they are?
You think I wanted to fall for you?
His eyes darken. "You started this"
Your heart stops beating. People laugh, the band is still playing and chatter bubbles like the champagne flutes waiters carry by.
But all you can hear is the moment your palm meets his face.
"I wish I never met you, Joel Miller"
And then you rush out the door, your heels burning as much as your eyes and chest. Far from the party, far from the world.
Far from him.
"We ain't done yet!"
You hear him bark behind you, yet your legs don't stop, despite the buzz in your ears and the slight stumble in your walk.
Your voice sounds like it doesn't belong to you when you hear yourself speak, without turning around.
"I think we are"
But Joel doesn't give up, making you feel trapped between wanting to hit him again and let yourself be held.
"Y/n!" he calls out just like he used to when you were a kid. Like you knew no better. Reckless. Berating. But now the taste of bitter mingles with his punishing demeanor.
You spin your heel, walking menacingly towards him.
"Don't call me that" you seethe, jabbing a finger to his chest.
"That's your fucken name!" he shouts.
Tears spring in the corner of your eyes. "You know what I mean"
"Enlighten me, doll" the nickname feels like a slap to your face, and for a moment, you wish he called you by your name again, instead of tainting the always sweet calling with his vitriol, as if the four letters meant something sacred he had profaned. "S'a matter of fact, why don't y'enlight me 'bout everythin' that's goin' on. 'Cause guess what? I'ont know what the fuck is happenin'!"
And it terrifies me.
His shout probably ran across the empty hallway. The music coming from inside sounds like a muffled heartbeat, mirroring your own.
To lose you. I might as well have.
"I don't know why you seem'a hate me now" quiet this time, like every word coming from his mouth take his voice little by little. "Why ya' get all sweet on me after weeks of leavin' me, pushin' me to the side... I'm old, doll. I ain't capable of takin' this anymore"
I'm not capable of surviving a broken heart.
The possibility of losing Joel, foever, had never crossed your mind, not even as you closed off, ignoring the way his brown sad eyes would search yours to try and find answers, maybe scraps of the... whatever it was you shared.
Now, it was real, and it shook you to the bone.
"Was fun while it lasted" closing off, trying to shut the doors he let you in, clawing back to that Joel Miller who couldn't be bent. The one Sarah deemed unbreakable. But it's the same that didn't know when to back down, now praying the price of his foolishness.
I don't regret it, but Joel doesn't have it in him to give you more of his heart for you to take. If he cuts it now, from the root, he'll spare his brain from saving more seconds of the image of you he'd have to get rid off: you, taking your coffee with two bags of sugar because you hated uneven numbers, and three seemed too much for your latte. You, standing on his room like you belonged there. You, on his car, the leather having absorbed some of the floral scent you seemed to carry with you. In your clothes, your skin, your hair. He'd have to go to bed knowing he'd never get to feel your strands in his fingers, tickling the remmanents of desolation he'd been carrying like a second skin ever since Sarah's mother walked away.
Your blood runs cold.
"Fun?" the words spill in a bitter incredulous tone, all the while you're trying to hold to him without raising your hand for him to take it, like just the thought of it would be enough to choose you. Words seem to fail you, and grasping at him feels like holding sand: it keeps falling from your fingers, a cruel reminder of your borrowed time. "Joel"
"Fun" he repeats the word, feeling sick. "As in, you'd marry someone who's worth for ya'. Probably choose Texas, maybe you'll stay away. 'Cause you're smart, and know what's good. But if ya' came back, livin' at the same neighbour, in the house across mine, you'd glance up and see my porch, thinkin' 'bout us, and this will become a joke with y'r husband, 'bout your rebel days. To your kids, summ cautionary tale. To you? An'scape of summ sorts of y'r other wise boring life"
Your shaking at this point, not knowing if it's anger, humilliation or sorrow.
I'm sorry. Please, don't give up on me. Stay.
"I'd be an experience. But to me? Doll" Joel chuckles, humorlessly. "You were everythin'"
A choked up sob bubbles from your chest.
"So that's what you think of me?" you laugh, a sound so hollow it makes his skin shiver. "That this is for the thrill? For the fucking anecdote?!"
"Trust me. I've lived long 'nough, kid. You'll understand later"
It's like all those months next to him meant nothing. Like pulling away from your lips was the easiest thing to do.
"Don't you fucking dare call me a kid!" you push him. "I'm not a kid"
"I know you ain't!" he roars back. "But you don't know shit!"
"Neither do you!" your quick to counter. "You think you've got me all figured out, huh? Bet you think that I'm some helpless naive idiot who doesn't know what I want. I don't know what I'm doing, that you're right. But I do know what I signed up for, the price I would pay" losing you or Sarah. Both. "I wanted it, and newsflash: so did you" you breath, running your hands through your hair, trying to comb some sense of normalcy to ground yourself while you try to recover your composture. His arms lay weakly by his sides, restraining himself from running to you and craddle you on his arms. "You chose this. You chose me, Joel Miller" each word pronounced with contempt. "I'm not a victim. Neither are you"
A dry chuckle escapes past his chapped lips. "What are we, then?"
(Two lonely souls who seek warmth. People who fell into the same bed. Shared time they shouldn't have. Selfish. Living on borrowed time. Always tettering around the edge, so easy to fall. History repeating itself. The dancing around. Dirty, like the Texan roads: and they all lead back to his bed)
"So do it" you shove him again, as if by doing so, you could push him away forever. From your mind, from your heart. From your life. "Say it"
He shakes his head, as if you'd insulted him.
"Sweetheart-"
"Say. It" you bark, tasting the venom on your tongue. "Say it!"
"I can't" looking so small, your resolve almost crumbles. Almost.
"Coward" you spit, repeatedly punching him feebly on the chest as tears stream down your cheeks. He tries to grab your hands, to stop you. "Don't touch me! Let me go"
"I can't" this time louder.
Tears sprout with more intensity at the desperate weight on his tone.
A single drop runs down when you say, defeated: "Quit me"
"I can't!" he shouts in your face, voice breaking slightly.
"Why?!"
"'Cause I fucking can't!" Joel breaks. He crumbles in your arms, body shaking as he buries himself in your reluctant embrace. He speaks again, this time softer, "I can't lose 'cha, baby. If that makes me sum goddamn coward, then so be it"
Something in you stirs. Like a lost boat, finding a lighthouse during a storm. Arriving to shore with gentle waves. Home, where it belongs.
"Joel-"
"I'm sorry for bein' selfish" between agitated and terrified, afraid of the silence and what you may say. "For noticin' your quiet and still carryin' on"
"Joel"
"Believe me, doll. I tried to stop. To leave ya'" he swallows, "but then I got invited and my mind went to ya'. Fast. You were the first person in my mind. Always are. I think that's when I knew. S'okay if you don't-"
"Joel!" you shout this time.
He raises his view from his little spot on your chest.
"It isn't just you" in a whisper that could easily pass as the wind that sweeps inside from the main door. Voice so fragile it hurts like glass. "I feel this too"
Just like that, he's both gone and back. His heart beats on his throat, voice raw when he searches for your eyes and asks:
"You do?"
The big unbreakable Joel Miller, looking at you not like a force to be reckoned with, but as a man, worn down by years of solitude and the weight of a secret.
You smile through the tears. "I've been many things, but a liar never"
He chuckles, softly. "Always was a bad one"
"See?" softly teasing, "you can attest to that"
"Twenty one years seem 'nough"
"Soon to be twenty two" pause. "And I would love it if you were there to see it"
A breath hitches somewhere in the middle of the new aphonia that's settled.
"You don't mean all'at. Think 'bout it-"
"I do" you interrupt him, firmly. You hold his gaze while cupping his face, the fright on his face mirroring your own. "You asked before, remember? There's your answer"
Joel is at loss for words. Was never good with them, less when it came to you: like your presence unsettled him in the same way tornadoes made him quiver when he was a child, rattling him to the bone. But there was a morbid fascination to them, in their destructive nature. Like beauty could be horror too, and he had learnt it thanks to your unforgiving winds that had swept him away from his feet.
He was flying. Fucking flying. Never quite landing. Afraid of the fall.
"I'm scared"
Joel leans in, forehead touching yours. His skin is warm, something about it soothing your nerves down.
"Me too"
You bite back a smile. "Big broody Miller, scared?"
"Y' know how'da disarm a man. I'll give ya' that"
You laugh, eyes crinkling while you swat his chest playfully. It's the same sound he missed so dearly. Joel can feel himself breath with relief.
"Now that's the story I'll tell my kids" could be our own. "The one where I won over Joel Miller"
A deep, rich rumble erupts from his chest as he pulls you even closer, this time, your head the one on his chest.
"I'll do you one better" he slowly moves his leg closer to the inner part of your thighs. "Wanna hear how it ends?"
"Jesus, Joel" laugh tense. Your heart pulses like his cock. Hard. "You sure are a mood killer"
He presses further. "But ya' want it, don't 'cha?"
You whimper, weakly. Truth is, you've been wet since you saw him dress on his rather tight suit. Now, after what you just confessed, you're not sure you can hold back any longer.
"Use y'r words, baby"
"Our room" the possesive adjective making his stomach rumble with need. "Now"
Stumbling feet. Whispered breaths oozing with drunk desire. Giggles. Buttons of an elevator pressed forcefully. A crammed space that felt even smaller. More giggles in a hallway full of doors that looked the same. Some mumbling, trying to remember the room. Grabbing the card from his pocket. You somehow make it to your room. Fumbling fingers. One swipe. Two. Try slower, but his voice is as urgent as strained. The door gives in. Finally, couldn't wait any longer. And he's chastising you, for being so impatient. Yet his eyes are all dark and sweet when looking it at you.
"We're here" and then the door closes with a loud thud. And Joel is yours again, just like he was that night, and forever was since.
You wrap your arms around his neck, kissing him back fervently. You open your mouth and let his tongue get inside as you moan his name.
"Please" you whine.
"Please what?" Joel chuckles, enamoured at your hanging mouth and heaving chest. Fucking tease. "Use y'r words, doll"
"Please, Joel" and hearing your name fall out of your lips like it's the most sacred prayer brings him weak to his knees. "I need you"
(I need you, as in I need you here. With me. Now. To never let go and hold my hand, not only when we fuck, but also when we walk, side by side, hands brushing like a touch it's too much to bear. Because if we held hands, I'd never be able to pull back. I need you to look at me as you undress me, because I'm bearing all of me for you, scars, body and secrets, trembling like a scared child, because no one's ever had me. Not like you. Not like you)
"'S right, sweet thing" he drawls out in a husky whisper, like his slick tongue was coated in honey. He pulls your head back, nipping and sucking on your skin. "Say ma' name like 's the only thing you know"
And in a way, it is. Because you'd always call Joel, fingers itching at a number you've memorized until it's burned in your eyelids, like when you close your eyes, you can see him standing in front of you, Texan accent and heavy boots in your doorstep, later to be discarded and hidden beneath your bed.
He pulls back, making you involuntary whine at the loss of his lips and tongue on you.
"Tell me you want this" he's saying, and for a moment, past the fire and the need, you see Joel as not the man who can bring you to come two times in a row, but your bestfriend's dad, who's slept in a bed alone for the past two decades, who can't meet you in the eyes when he undresses himself, looking like the one who's got the more to lose when his lips press aginst yours in a soft manner, not out of tenderness but out of fear.
"I do" without hesitation, as if you would tattoo your promise and wear it like your heart on your sleeve. "I want you, Joel"
You want all of him: from his boring Sundays sprawled on the couch watching a rerun of some old sitcom to his greying hair, aching joints and creaking bones, that despite so, would still kneel and eat your pussy like a man starved, tongue sliding through your folds with a learned ache, pouring the same yearn, longing and hunger that he wears on his eyes when they land on you, no matter if his brown are miles away, because they'd always find your own, like a boat lost in translation and a sea of sorrow coming back home, as if you're the only important thing in the world. His anchor. The lighthouse of his vast ocean of forlorness.
"That's my girl" but no smirk adorns his face, rather a small smile that warms your chest, right as he pulls you back in. There's a shift in the aire as he kisses you know, as if not only his tongue is in your insides but his soul, without holding back this time, like all limits have blurred and melted into a pool of desire and affection.
Joel pushes you down onto the wide bed, climbing on top of you as he kisses your jawline, leaving wet kisses along your warm skin. You moan as every contact of his mouth sends shudders to your body, him taking his time as he works over your jaw, down to your chest.
"Such'a pretty doll. And's mine" his calloused fingers fiddle with your bra, unclasping the lingerie until it falls messily discarded next to the bed. "Got summ nice tits on you, baby" and Joel's eyes sparkle with excitement, lighting up like the neon lights of the Vegas sign, "don't 'cha think?"
Your back arches with his touches, mouth ghosting over your nipple, already pebbled at just Joel's breath.
"Fuck, Joel" you mewl his name, dragged with difficulty as he laps his tongue over your breasts greedily. You can feel Joel's cock pulse and throbb in your thigh as his body hovers over yours, lips still wrapped around your nipple as he suckles and nibbles at the tender flesh.
"'S sorry, doll" he's apologizing in a mocking manner as you whimper at the contact of him against you, suckling hard, tongue swirling and flicking over the sensitive bud as he drew it deeper into the wet heat of his mouth. "Ain't know you'd be so fucken responsive with just a lil' lick at y'r pretty tits"
As your body trembles and quakes, he speaks again.
"Open y'r mouth" you do so, because honestly, you'd never deny him a thing. "Want 'cha to suck on 'tis fingers, like the slut ya're. Get them wet so they feel good against 'tis greedy pussy"
You take the fingers as you'd take his cock, sucking on the skin that tastes like salt and gasoline, a slight bitter taste but you take them as deep as you can, until your lips brush his rough knuckles.
"Good greedy whore" he praises. "Now let me help ya' with that"
Joel gestures your damp panties, taking them off and putting them up his nose, inhaling like he did the first time you ever fucked, back at the beach house that summer that feels a life ago, seawaves crashing onto the shore as they drowned out your moans.
"Sweet" as if your arousal was his favorite dessert, gripping the sticky lingerine until his knuckles turn white. "Fucken wet and drippin', and s'all for me"
He feels your greedy hands fumble with his pants and belt, pulling him closer as the feeling of unfairness at his clothed figure dawns upon you.
"I like how you look in a suit, but right now-"
He laughs, a deep rich sound bubbling up from his chest.
"Ma' baby wants it that bad, huh?" you nod your head feverishly, a beg threatening past your lips.
"Please, Joel. I want to suck your cock" the dirty words come out as quick as a breath. "I missed it so so bad" not caring at all about how desperate you come across or the pitiful begging that's a plea away from drooling out of your mouth with an aching hunger.
"'S that what you want? Draggin' me out'a reception 'cause y'r greedy dirty mouth couldn't keep still? Bet you'd crawl on da' floor just to get a taste of this dick" every word makes you mewl. "Might have to see ya' beggin' for it"
"I'll do it" you beg, voice a wanton plea. "I'll do whatever, I just need to-"
"I see ya' really do"
He removes your hands from his body, chuckling as you pout and whine like a baby.
"Love hearin' ya' so eager fo'me" Joel says, tugging the pants finally down. Through the cloth of his underwear, it's impossible not to see the silhoutte of his hard throbbing dick.
The sight of him, hair disheveled, pupils blown wide, white button shirt now wrinkled and sticky with sweat, tie loose and that faint smell of champagne that clung to his mouth and scent like a second layer of his skin.
"Get on the floor. Now" he commands, and you're quick to obey. "Gonna fuck that dirty mouth of yours until my cum dribbles outta your cheek. S' now? Be obedient if ya' want a taste, slut"
You let out a small whimper as Joel frees his cock from his underwear.
"That's right, baby. Like what ya' see?" his cock is straddling your face in your current kneeling form. "Need that mouth to open wider"
You obey in an instant.
"Good girl"
Joel shoves his cock inside your mouth, giving you a few seconds to adjust before pushing a little further. You bob your head forward but the task proved to be hard when he was thrusting at the same time. His big hard dick hits the back of your throat, a gag dying past your busy lips.
"'S it bad if I tell ya' I like watchin' you squirm and struggle with my cock? 'S fuckin' hot"
You narrow your eyes, struggling to keep your throat relaxed as he thrusts forward, fucking your mouth and throat. Your thighs clasp together, the slick pooling down your legs in the absence of underwear.
Joel's groans become raspier as his body begins to tense.
"'M gonna fuck y'r throat raw, doll. And then, I'm gonna cum. Down y'r greedy throat. 'S my girl okay with that" he can see the plea in your eyes as you choke on his cock once more. "S'alright then. Ya' know I love to spoil ma' girl"
As his body starts to edge closer, his tongue runs loose.
"Love watching you suck ma' dick" he looks down on you, eyes glossy, probably because he was drunk in alcohol and you. "Love how it feels. Love how you feel. Love- I love you"
(There's an involuntary gag somewhere)
Joel's body tenses and it doesn't take that much for you to feel the warmth of his cum go down your throat.
You choke again and he brings his dick out of your throat and let you swallow the rest.
There's a beat of silence, as dense as his fluids down your throat. You avoid his gaze, heart drumming on your chest.
"Doll..." he whispers, the last bits of climax sweating off his skin; all that's left is shame. "C'mere"
(Say it back, he should plead. I know your eyes don't lie, but if I heard those three silly words out of your mouth, I could die happy tonight. A bigger man would beg, but he's never been good, even if he tried)
He helps you get up, wobbly legs not being of help when it comes to the shock of his confession.
I love you.
As much as a tender touch as a knife slitting your chest open in a clean cut.
(You're bleeding love)
Love.
Such a foreign word, one you've never felt before. Yet, what's scary is recognizing that latent warmth on every stolen glance; brush of a hand. The tingles provoked by getting the largest serving, even if his daughter sat at the same table. The flutter of your chest when he tried to be there for you when you thought you were pregnant, even if he was as scared as you. In every little thing he had done since you first started playing with fire, how you wore his heartbeat as an echo and his skin like a second layer to your own.
His lips are swollen when they take yours.
"'S fine" some kind of tiredness seeping through the cracks of his gruff exterior and composed rejected posture. "Ya' don't have to-"
"I love you" you croack out.
His voice comes out impossibly small as he whispers. "What...?"
A fireworks show explodes out somewhere in the background.
"I love you" you repeat, words dripping with an adoration only known to captain's going down with their sinking ships.
You're drowning, but the water doesn't burn your lungs anymore.
"Lemme help with that sore throat of yours" he's tugging down your bottom lip, fingers playing with your mouth to open it. He gazes at you with a look that tugs at your heartstrings. "Open, baby"
Your dry throat and warm mouth welcomes the spit he lands inside.
"There ya' go" and you swallow it, making him curse. "Fuck. 'S so hot seein' you do that, my lil' sweet slut"
"Joel" you whine, hands curled up in white fists as you grab him by the collar of his button shirt.
"Whoa, baby. What's goin' on?" he chuckles softly. "Use y'r words"
"Y-You made a mess-" you blabber, the wet slick between your thigh sticky. "I-It hurts, Joel"
"Hurt?" he cocks an eyebrow. "Care to show me where?"
You sit in the bed, parting your legs, finger pointing out the moist zone.
"Here"
His adam's apple bobs, and the gulp reverberates against the walls of the room.
"Fuck... I see" each word strained. "Don't worry, doll. I can help ya' with'at"
It's his turn to kneel, knees burying on the carpet.
He places one of his big hands on your knee, his calloused fingers tracing absent patterns over the skin. His other hand drums slighty against your trembling leg, so close yet so far. You're so impossibly eager, and a part of him, that fragile ego, is boosted to the roof at your (actual and very real) want for him.
All that glistening pussy was his work. Joel really disarmed you like that.
"If I do this, maybe it won't hurt anymore" his mustache and recently trimmed beard tickle against your sensitive folds as he presses a kiss to your core. You writhe, throwing your head back as your hands fly to his hair, gripping the greying loose curls tightly at the contact. "Will ya' let me eat out this pretty pussy, doll?"
"Please" you let out, breathlessly.
"Love hearin' ya' beg" and he dives in, strong hands holding your thighs on place as he sucks your clit lightly. Your hips buck, his face burying into your cunt to the point his nose touches the warm folds. You moan at the feeling, his tongue now circling against your center.
"J-Joel"
"Feels s'good, right? As good as I feel feastin' on this tight little cunt" and his deep voice sends jolts when it echoes against your walls. You squirm at the sensation, stomach tight with his sucking and licking, misntrations sending you to the edge.
"Joel?"
Barely above a whisper, voice tight.
He looks up to you, pupils blown wide. "Yes?"
"C-Can you finger me, please?"
"Fuck, baby" he whistles. "You really know how'da bring a man to his knees"
And you chuckle at his lame attempt of a joke, not laughing at him but with him.
Joel slides one of his thick, calloused fingers through your soaked folds, feeling the velvet softness of your inner walls clench down on the invading digit, a demonstration of how impatient they were to take his cock. He circles your clit with the pad of his thumb, rubbing the sensitive bundle of nerves in tight, slow circles.
"Wanna hear you, y/n" just your name alone on his mouth makes you writhe, and Joel's encouragement as his finger dips lower to tease at your entrance. He slides a second finger into your cunt, pumping in and out of your tight walls in a steady, driving rhythm. You roll against his hand as he curls his fingers. "Fuck yourself on my fingers, baby. Wanna see you ride 'em 'til you come undone. Wanna taste your cum on my tongue as you scream ma' name"
He can feel your body start to tremble, pussy clenching down on his fingers as he fucks you with a relentless pace.
"Shit" he groans, tongue lapping firmly at your clit, "s' fucking tight"
"I-I can't help it" you feel the burning sensation in the corner of your eyes, "I-I feel every inch of you in me"
(Up to your body, head and heart)
"And you ain't even had my cock yet" he's quick to tease. "But I know you'll feel s'good, baby. Takin' my cock like da' good girl y'are"
Tears begin to stream down your face freely, the salty drops hot against your warm skin.
You sniffle, and Joel's movements stop for a bit.
"You cryin'?" but you know damn well he's aroused, by the way he licks his lips absentmindedly as his brown orbs stare back at you, dilatated. You still remember the last time you cried during sex, and how his reaction was practically the same, except this time, it's received with a grateful welcome home. "Fuck, baby- I love when you cry like a lil' cocksleeve over ma' dick"
Despite the lewd words, he's wiping your tears away with his thumb in a soft gentle touch.
"S'okay, baby" he coos, kissing up your throat and onto your chin. Then, you feel a wet sensation on your cheek: but it isn't the tears, yet his tongue, licking the hot stream. "I'll give ya' ma' cock if you want it so much. Now quit your cryin', yeah?"
But you keep sniffling, impossible to close the dam once it's broken.
"My sweet crybaby" Joel mumbles, "I love ya', doll"
"I love you too" each time you said it, a new flower blooming in your heart. It could be. "I do, Joel"
He smiles, the kind of smile that is painful to watch. The kind that says: Is this real? Do I deserve this?
"Y'know I'm bad with words, so lemme show you instead"
He's climbing on top of you as you push yourself into the middle of the bed, lips tangled into a demanding kiss, his tongue dominating your mouth like he wants to tame it. He drops his underwear again, but he's still wearing the goddamn shirt. You whine, and for a second, while over you, he stops.
"What is it, baby?" Joel pants.
"T-take it off" you huff, worked up. You let the tie loose first, starting to unbutton his shirt after. "I want to see you, Joel"
His hand is quick to fly and stop you from taking it off. Even in the dim lit room, you can see the faintest of a blush covering his cheeks.
"Sweetheart..." he mumbles, "I dunno-"
"Please" trying to remove his hand.
"You really wanna?" but behind his teasing smile there's both a hopeful and vulnerable glint to his voice.
You extend your hand, cupping his cheek. He leans into the touch, and for a moment, the world outside ceases to exist, and it's just you, your ragged breaths and the light tickle of his growing beard on your palm.
It could be.
"Because I love you" holding his gaze firmly. "All of you"
"Fuck, baby" Joel starts to get off the shirt, "ya' really made those fuckers downstairs drop their damn mouths when ya' walked in with me. Couldn't believe it, such'a pretty girl could be mine" he snarls, grabbing your face by the chin. "Hell, I'ont believe it either. That you could wanna be with me"
But then you're touching his now naked form before you, fingers slowly tracing through his face to his tense jawline. Then across his broad shoulders to his tummy, feeling the soft swell against your stomach as he leans over your eager form. It's the way you look at him, as if he's the most beautiful man in the world, that makes his breath catch on his throat, staggering.
Your sweet broken voice rings in his head.
It isn't just you. I feel this too.
(Scared. Confused. Happy. Grieving. Loving)
It should be his ego boosted and cock stroked, but when his eyes find yours, it's his heart that feels the fullest.
Fuck, he was too old for this shit.
"Look at 'cha, making lame ol' me a sappy motherfucker" he laughs, the same blush from earlier now more prominent. He leans down to kiss you, his moustache brushing your lips. "If ya' don't stop, I'll take ya' right now and we're gettin' married tonight by summ random Elvis guy"
"What If I wanted that?" you challenge as your mouth presses fluttering kisses to his caging arm, lips stopping on each spot and mole peppered through his thick bicep.
"Then get dressed" you feel him squirm under your insistent lips, "'cause I ain't gettin' married again while naked"
"Where you married, Joel?" you can feel the salt air up your nose of the first night again, asking the same questions. The fact that he's opening to you warms your chest in a pleasant way.
He looks at you absentmindedly, humming as to confirm.
"We were too damn young. Had to, for the baby on the way" he tells. You remember Sarah's aversion to the topic, and given his next words, it makes sense. "Then she left"
I would never leave.
"I'm sorry" you offer instead.
"Don't" the atmosphere is quick to change again as thise words leave his mouth. "Now, where were we?"
You're quick to spread your legs to him, gilstening cunt on full view.
"Good girl" he smirks, lining himself with your warm entrance. "If ya' keep behavin', I might give ya' my cum"
His tip against your clit for a few seconds before pushing down against your hole. Joel groans as his length sinks in your gummy walls, feeling the tightness from before.
"You feel s'good" grunting as he slowly pushes in, letting you adjust to his girth. "Always do"
He presses a gentle kiss to your sweaty hairline.
"Tell me how it feels"
"Good" you mewl. "Big"
"Ain't that right" he chuckles.
"Need it all. Please" and you grip his neck tightly, arms around it. His nose brushes against yours as he grunts out a You little minx. "Want it, Joel. I can take it"
He bottoms out. "Then do"
"Fuck" you curse, cunt stretched to adapt to his girth. You breath in painfully, and Joel's eyes lace with concern. "I-It's fine"
"Sure? I can wait"
"I’m okay" you assure him, moved by his care for you. You buck your hips. "You can move"
He starts by setting a slow pace, taking all the space insade your clutching heat. Joel groans at the sensation, your walls gripping him like a vice as he continues to move in a slow motion, pounding into you with deep, powerful strokes. Yet, as his arms cage you by your sides and you look at him with certainty, he picks up a brutal pace, just as you like it, slamming into you over and over again, the obscene sound of skin slapping against skin filling the small bathroom.
"K-keep going" you grip his left arm. Joel lets out a hiss as your nails dig on his skin. "Feels so good"
"Good'nough for you to cum on m'dick?" he groans huskily in your ear, breath ghosting on your skin like a hot kiss. "Gonna fill you up, doll. I'll mark you as mine, now and for da' rest of y'r life"
The way his voice drips with dominance as he commands you, filled with a rough rich baritone tinted with a possesive hunger, his hips moving faster as he drives into you with force, pistoning harder is enough to set you on edge.
He leans forward, capturing your lips in a kiss.
"Cum f'me, baby. Let me hear ya' cryin' over my cock"
Tears. Stars. Grunts. Moans. Cum.
Your cry for his name against his lips is how you announce your orgasm, washing over you. Your walls flutter as Joel lets you ride slowly through your climax.
"There ya' go, baby. Go on, ride it" then, he pauses. His face strains. "Hold on tight. I'm gonna- I'm gonna cum. Right there, baby. Stay"
Somewhere along the moans and the writhes of your soft skin against his hard planes and soft belly, Joel asks where you want it. Inside, you hear yourself say, eager to feel all of him again, filling your insides, invading every inch of your body until a part of himself leaks into your heart. He's then blabbering as your walls and heart flutter, about kids and other things you both want but can't have. Tonight, though, as he Joel buries himself deep inside you, his cock throbbing and pulsing as he starts to come, grinding against you, making sure you feel every last spurt, every last bit of his release, you allow yourself to believe.
He pumps some shallows thrusts inside of your slick dripping cunt, emptying himself, before pulling out and looking down at you with a tired smile.
"I love you" he says again in fervent whisper, as if by repeating it, he could materialize it. "I love you so fucking much, y/n. And if ya' can't accept that, can't believe in that, then... then I'ont know what the fuck I'm gonna do. 'Cause I can't lose ya', baby. I can't"
"You won't" you don't know why it comes so easy, or why the promise slips as natural as a breath. "I'm here, Joel Miller. You won't lose me"
credits: divider @kodaswrld / gif @loregifs
#dilfistwrites#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal x you#joel miller#joel miller tlou#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel miller smut#joel miller angst#bfd!joel miller#bfd!joel#tlou#tlou fanfiction#to the devil i know series
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admiring
i haven't written properly in so long and i fully blame uni and my silly sad little brain but i'm back! hopefully won't be such a massive break next time!!
this is fully just drabble to be honest- nothing really happens it's just pure fluff but i was watching austin powers for the millionth time and the fembots' night dresses gave me a vision
cw: female reader, slight misogyny at the start??, simon likes to stare but so does reader, just fluff
word count: <1k
Simon had never been one to bother with looks.
His mother had raised him to view women as more than their outward appearance. He couldn’t stand hearing boys in school reducing their girlfriends to mere sexual objects, or ranking girls in their year based on their tits.
It made him irrationally angry when he was on base and would overhear recruits talking so crudely about their own wives and girlfriends.
Even when he was asked what his ‘type’ was, his answer was always, “s’Long as she’s a good’en I’m not fussed.” His partners were his- what right did anyone else have to make comments about their appearance? He’d always thought his partners were gorgeous, but he didn’t have specific demands or things he was attracted to.
Looks would fade, the number of the scales would vary, but a good heart would remain always.
However, he can't help but think every time he looks at you that he truly hit the jackpot. Your face fits perfectly in the cradle of his palm, his arms wrap warmly around your waist, your legs entwine snugly with his under bedsheets, his chin slots just right in the space between your ear and your shoulder.
Most importantly, your heart has a glow that he’s pretty sure he can see every time he looks at you. He’s never met a person so good. Someone that just…gets him. You are his person through and through.
His favourite hobby when he comes back from deployments is to simply just observe you. Honestly, he’s not even bothered if you find it creepy. He just loves to admire you. Can’t believe he got so lucky- a big, belligerent brute like him with such a perfect lass?
You’re partial to those flouncy, vintage nightdresses- the ones that kind of remind him of the Austin Powers girls he used to fancy as a young lad. Since you got together, he’s bought you countless of them; he adores how you look in them and how feminine and confident they make you feel.
Sat against the headboard with your kitten, Toast, napping on his broad chest is how he finds himself most evenings, watching you through the mirror of your vanity. He knows your routine like the back of his hand at this point; after a shower you make yourself a sleepy time tea, wash your face, and then sit at your vanity to put your rollers in and do your night time skincare. It’s the same routine you’ve had since the very beginning of your relationship, and so a couple weeks in, Simon knew he had to get you your own vanity at his place- the same one you now sit at in your shared flat every night.
Even when you’re going out with friends or putting makeup on for a date night, he loves to just come and admire you. Admittedly, he still doesn’t understand the daily torture of that eyelash curler fucker but he knows better than to question anything you do.
His greatest miss when he’s away on deployment are- other than your presence in itself- those moments every night when he can just sit in your silent company and admire.
You’d only questioned him once, back when you’d first got together before anything was even official; “Everything okay?” you’d asked amusedly through the mirror, feeling Simon’s eyes burning holes through your face.
“Just like lookin’ at you, birdie.” His stare never faltered, and his tone was so matter of fact that a blush bloomed across your freshly moisturised skin.
After that, it was just an unspoken thing. Even when you weren’t at your vanity- on the couch watching a film together, bustling about the kitchen for your keys when you’re late for work, strolling through the little park just behind your flat, sitting across from him at the dinner table.
Part of it comes from the military background of course- if he can see you at all times, nothing can happen to you.
Unknowingly, Simon isn’t the only one who loves to stare.
Most of the time, he’s fast asleep by the time his head hits the pillow and you’ve always been a night owl, preferring to stay up late with a cup of tea and a book. Therefore, there are a few hours each night where Simon is dead to the world, Toast curled into the crook of his neck, and cuddled so innocently into the soft downy duvet you insisted on that you can use to simply admire.
His scarred cheek fits so perfectly in the cradle of your palm, his arm winds just right around your waist so that he can be near you even when unconscious, his legs slip snugly around yours under the sheets. His heart shines, even when you know he doesn’t think very highly of himself, plagued by his past. But you know he’s a good man. Your Simon. Your person.
He was so reserved when you first met. Cards kept so close to his chest- the mask he never took off even on the first date. It makes you admire him even more when considering how far you’ve come. How much he’s grown as a person. How good you are for each other.
The scars never bothered you. The tattoos covering decades of battle wounds only made you want to open him up. The way his nose was permanently crooked, his hearing damaged from years of living in warzones, his lips scarred and showing teeth when he wasn’t smiling. None of it mattered to you. He was a good man, and his heart was the most noble thing about him.
#simon ghost riley#fanfiction#cod fanfic#call of duty#simon riley#simon riley x reader#x reader#cod x reader#cod mwii#cod modern warfare
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goodnight n go (teaser)
member — fwb!vernon x reader genre — smut, angst, non-idol au teaser word count — 1.7k full fic word count — 10.2k synopsis — you keep coming back for more, but every night ends the same. maybe this time things will be different. warnings — mentions of alcohol, drunk sex, car sex, guitarist!vernon, rock band!hhu, no physical descriptions of reader, vernon is afraid of commitment. this is a teaser and the final fic will have a happy ending !! notes — before you ask, yes this is based on the ariana song lol but also inspired by black eye because it's been stuck in my head the past few days. as always, thanks to @onlymingyus for reading over this for me <3 i'm still on hiatus and requests are closed but i randomly had inspiration to write something for vernon so i hope you enjoy! i am planning on writing more for this story, but i'm back at uni and my time is already quite limited, so i'll try to write more when i can! reblogs, comments, and asks are super appreciated, it means a lot and helps me keep writing so please lmk if you liked it :)

“hey, you wanna get drinks tonight?”
as usual, that’s how it starts.
you probably should have said no. you’d played this game before. you knew exactly what hansol meant when he offered to hang out after band practice, because it was never just “hanging out”.
you don’t even know why you still go to practices anymore. for a long time you’d avoided them; it wasn’t really your style, and you were never interested in being a groupie for their local gigs. your roommate seungcheol always invited you to every practice, and every time you declined with the excuse of homework or other plans, but cheol finally convinced you to come just one time.
at first, it had been because he wanted you to hear a new song they were working on and he’d wanted to know how you liked it before they played it at an upcoming show. but then he’d introduced you to the rest of his bandmates, and after that there was no going back.
you couldn’t help the way your eyes always gravitated towards hansol, who insisted that you call him his real name instead of his stage name that everyone else called him. from the very first practice, you were captivated by him: the way his long fingers seem to dance along the neck of his guitar so effortlessly, the way his voice rasps when he sings, the way your breath catches in your throat when he grips the microphone stand and rolls his head back, lips parted in ecstasy.
he’s addictive, and it’s exactly the reason why you find yourself in the backseat of his car over and over again.
every time, it was easy to pretend that things would be different. you’d walk into the bar together and sit at the table in the back, order a few drinks, chat for a while about nothing. did you like the new stuff we played tonight? yeah, i know cheol is really excited to perform it saturday. you been doing any writing lately? mmm, a little. i’ve been feeling inspired. we could go back to my place and i could show you. except he never does.
hansol wasn’t a bad guy. he always paid for your drinks no matter how many times you offered to pick up the tab, he was polite, he listened to what you had to say. he just didn’t want more than that, and that’s where it all fell apart. you’d screw around for a while, then you’d part ways and wouldn’t speak to each other until next week. you never went to see them play shows, he never texted, you never called, never went on a real date besides meeting in the same bar down the street every thursday night after practice.
he seemed fine with that. you weren’t. and yet every time, you ended up back in his arms.
he groans into your mouth, pushing his hips into you and pinning you harder against the faded leather seats of his old honda. his lips are sloppy but eager, messily pressing his mouth into yours as his fingers tangle in the hair at the base of your neck. you can taste the beer and smoke on his breath, but for some reason it doesn’t bother you. maybe you’re used to it, or maybe it’s just because it’s him. you don’t want to know which reason is the truth.
he kisses you until you’re dizzy, and you can’t tell if it’s from the alcohol or from the thrill of kissing him once again. it’s a high you’re convinced you’ll never get tired of, although you’re not quite sure yet if it’s one that he will.
hansol always lets you set the pace, but tonight he can’t seem to keep his hands to himself. both of your shirts met the floor of his car what seems like hours ago, leaving you in just your pants as he makes out with you as if it’s the first and last time he’ll get that chance. his fingers breeze over your waist the same way they breeze over his guitar strings when he plays: careful yet greedy, each touch intentional yet impulsive as he grips your waist.
he drags his fingers higher and it sends a shiver down your spine, arching your hips up against him and rolling your head back against the seat’s headrest. if there’s only one upside to this relationship, it’s that he’s good at this. really good. if he weren’t, then you wouldn’t have spent so many nights letting him fuck you in the parking lot of your shitty local bar. it does something for your confidence knowing that he must feel the same about you, or else he wouldn’t keep inviting you out. at the very least, this arrangement is mutual, even if you wish it wasn’t.
his hips rock against your crotch again, and even through both of your clothes you can feel how hard he is. your mind is clouded, everything’s a haze, and all you can think about is how badly you want him. the warmth of his skin, the gentle scratch of his nails on the back of your neck, his long eyelashes that flutter against your cheek as he kisses you.
you feel your hands slide haphazardly down his bare chest, fumbling over his hips as you tug on the waistband of his jeans. none of it feels graceful, not like the way he handles his music. it’s sloppy, desperate, clumsy, and it’s everything you need right now.
he manages to lean back from you enough to undo his pants and push them down to his knees, but his mouth is back on yours in an instant. somehow you end up on your back across the seats, gazing up at him with slack lips as his thin silver chain dangles over your face. you might not remember a lot of what happens on these nights when you’re with him, but you’ll always remember this moment. him hovering above you with heavily lidded eyes, biting his lip and cursing as he pushes into you, is etched into your mind in a way you simultaneously love and hate. love because it feels so good, hate because it never lasts.
the rest of those nights never stands out in your memory. you remember feeling good, you remember trembling in his arms and gasping and moaning and crying in pleasure, but the images are too fuzzy to make out. you don’t really need to reflect on them anyway; you know he’ll just bring you out next week and do it all over again.
hansol kisses you once more after you’re both finally spent, but the kisses afterwards are always different. more… hesitant, more uncertain. none of the passion and desperation that you’ve come to crave from him. not what you really want.
“i can drive you home,” he offers once he’s finished cleaning you up. for once you think he might genuinely mean it, but you can never be sure enough to take that chance. you want him to drive you home. god, you want him to so bad. to have him come over with you and stay the night, stay another night and another until your apartment isn’t just yours anymore, that’s what you’ve wanted all this time. and it’s what you’ll never have.
“i’ll call an uber,” you answer.
“i’ll wait with you, then.”
the silence that settles over his car is heavy as you climb back into the front passenger seat. you want to tell him to get in the uber with you, stay more than just a couple hours with you in the furthest back corner of the bar parking lot that’s too far to be illuminated by streetlights. you want to argue that he’s too drunk even to drive himself, that he needs to come home with you and sleep it off together in the comfort of your bed, but you know it’s not true and it won’t work. this is a conversation you’ve had many times before. every night you’ve spent with him blurs into the next, always the same.
sometimes you want to laugh at how naive you are, for thinking he’d eventually come to his senses and realize there’s more to you than a good lay before a gig. sometimes you want to grab him and shake him by the shoulders and tell him to grow the fuck up, give him an ultimatum and make him tell you what he wants from you or else put an end to it all. sometimes you just want to cry, to mourn your wasted time when you’re fully aware it’s never going to lead to something more, no matter how badly you want it and how hard you try.
no matter how many times you get your hopes up, no matter how many times you pray and beg and plead with god and the universe and every other higher power to get him to realize this can’t keep going on the way it is forever, nothing ever changes. you’re never going to stop running to him when he calls, and he’s never going to stop calling.
finally another car pulls into the lot, and you manage to pull yourself out of his car. you hear your name behind you and you stumble, swaying on your feet as he rolls down his window.
maybe this time will be different.
he says his usual goodbyes and goodnights, flashing you a loose grin and a wave as his engine sputters to life, and he asks if you’re planning on coming to practice next week.
and you find yourself nodding.
you’re left standing there, your head and your heart pounding, watching his headlights fade as he drives away, until you’ve stood there for so long that your ride starts honking and calling for you to get in the car so you can leave.
maybe next time will be different.

i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, please consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!
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#svthub#kvanity#kflixnet#k-labels#caratlibrary#thediamondlifenetwork#[📌] — june.writes#vernon smut#hansol smut#svt smut#seventeen smut#vernon angst#hansol angst#vernon fanfic#vernon scenarios#vernon x reader#vernon imagines#hansol fanfic#hansol scenarios#hansol x reader#svt scenarios#svt x reader#svt imagines#seventeen imagines#seventeen fanfic#seventeen scenarios
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but i'm so proud
lance stroll
tags: smut & fluff, gentle sex, uni student!reader, established relationship (dating), loving!lance, pull out method, missionary, praise
a/n: i wish every lance fan a happy and successful exam season!
two more exams. that was all that it took to finish your degree. this had been going on for too long, but after covid school got harder for you. it was hard to get back into the headspace of academia even after all these years later. but you were hopeful for this final semester of school.
you'd finally be done and you could hang-up that lovely (expensive) degree and finally work towards forging a career for yourself. but you weren't quite there yet, and as you stared at your notes so hard your vision began to blur. you needed a little help, and you knew the one person who could.
lance.
his arm draped over the back of the couch, still enough reach to rub your shoulder as you looked at him with tired eyes. the bags under your eyes had been darkening for the past week and your caffeine consumption was at all time high.
"you need sleep." your boyfriend said.
"i need to pass." you whined as you rested up against his chest and puffed out your cheeks, "i don't need another semester here. i want to finally be done. so i can visit you at more races and actually make a name for myself." you looked up at him. there was a tiredness to your gaze and lance rubbed his thumb across your cheekbone lovingly.
"can't very well do that when you're next exhausted, eh?" he asked as he rubbed your back, "how about you call it quits tonight and tomorrow morning before i go out i'll quiz you." he pulled you away a little to look you in the eyes.
you nodded softly, "sounds good." then let lance kiss you deeply on the lips. you melted into the kiss a little, finding every ounce of comfort in his lips. you were exhausted and beyond burnt out. you let him touch you, give you that affection you desired. to feel close and loved.
he led you to your bedroom and laid out across the mattress with you. he rubbed your back with your face pressed against his chest. it felt right, it felt good. it felt the kind of right that made you rub your thighs together.
"i'm so proud of you." he said lowly, "do you have any idea how proud i am of you." he rubbed your behind and your upper thigh, "trying so hard every day to be the best. i'm proud of you and i can't wait for you to hang up that degree."
you went in for a heated kiss, you melted into him and curled yourself closer to him. it felt good, it was the kind of amazing feeling that left butterflies in your stomach.
the kiss deepened, you wanted more than just his words of affirmation. you wanted him all over, you wanted to feel the closeness to him. as much as you could. he held onto you tightly and placed you on your back.
you reached out and cupped his face. he smiled at you. he was really good looking, you've seen the comments online. but you didn't believe them, what did they know? they didn't get to see him the way you did. you pulled him in for another heated kiss and you rubbed your legs together.
he moaned into the kiss and planted his hands on either side of you. he relaxed as the kiss further in intensity. felt amazing to him. when it eventually broke, he looked into your eyes for a brief moment before he grinned to himself.
clothes came off soon after. his hands trailed across your body with such heated want as you struggled to get your t-shirt off. he eventually helped you then kissed your breasts as he got your bra off. he rubbed himself up against you and gave you one last look before he said, "you're beautiful too. brains, beauty, you got it all, baby." then took off your panties.
soon you were both left naked in bed together. he continued to feel up your body and you giggled into his kisses before you ended up on your back once more. another glance was shared and then another kiss before lance got between your legs.
"ready for me?" he asked softly.
you nodded, "for you? always." then tensed up as he inched his cock inside of you. you swore under your breath and his breath hitched at the feeling. every time felt like the first time in the best way.
"how's that?" he asked softly.
you looked up at him and nodded, "good, yeah. great." you said already a little out of breath. you reached out and held onto his shoulders for a moment before you wrapped your arms around him.
it allowed him to lean in closer to kiss you on the lips. the two of you kissed as his thrusts started off slow but with force. it felt good, a steady pace that made your toes curl.
"you feel great, babe." he said lowly, "you know that right? that i think everything about is perfect." he groaned as his pace gained speed and the two of you started to move together. held on tightly to each other while the kisses continued.
you could feel your ears burn from his compliments, they made you only grow hotter with each strong stroke of his thrusts. you felt a flutter in your chest. you knew that he loved you, he loved you deeply. you were everything to him. you cheered him on and he matched that energy.
"you feel great too." you replied but lance shushed you.
"accept the compliments, honey." he said, "this is about you tonight. you need all the support you can get before your exam. all the relaxation i can provide you." he held onto the covers once more for a bit more leverage as he moved against you.
"flirt."
"only for you." he said lowly.
you could feel the tingle in your body. your held on tighter and curled yourself a little to give him a better angle to thrust up inside of you. the new angle made everything feel more intense.
"fuck, lance."
he chuckled and moved faster. he eyed your expressions, how they changed a little with each thrust. he licked his lips, "i can't wait to see that degree. you better send me a hundred photos of it. i want to see it in all of its glory." his voice was seductive and the way he spoke with such pride about you made your cunt clench around him.
"i love you."
he licked his lips and before he went in for another kiss, he replied, "and i love you more than you know." you used to say that he was an idiot for standing by you even after so many failures in school. and he replied that you stood by him through every bad race - every dnf, every 20th place. everything. he kissed you once more and gripped onto the white covers tightly.
you felt the excitement rush through you. the feeling of being under him while he made you feel good. you whined a little bit and held onto his shoulders a little tighter.
he pressed his forehead against yours, and the two of you moved together in sync. you were both sweaty, but neither care. you just yearned to feel the intense closeness.
you swore under your breath as the pleasure continued to climb through you. it was an amazing feeling. your toes curled and you felt the pick up in your pulse. "lance."
"i've got you, baby. fuck, you feel so good under me. i love how you look, how you feel. you're beautiful, baby. all mine. you're gonna kill it on that exam."
you felt flushed at the words, which only fueled the pleasure in your core. the kisses continued, they got more heated as you felt yourself close to climax. your nails dug into his shoulders when you finally came around his cock.
"fuck, baby." he purred.
you held on tightly still as he worked himself against you. the pleasure bloomed all over and made you feel flushed with heat. it felt good, so good. you couldn't deny the feeling.
"my everything." he purred.
"back atcha." you said in a heightened euphoric state.
lance quickly pulled out and stroked his cock, slick with your wetness until he came all over your stomach with a heavy groan. he squeezed his eyes shut and swore under his breath. that felt really good. he slowed his strokes to a stop and looked you in the eyes.
you chuckled lightly, still out of breath and sweaty, "now that's stress relief." and before he could grab you for a kiss you said, "clean me up first, lance!" and then laughed loudly.
-
"doesn't look too bad." lance said as he stood beside you as you pulled away from the wall. he wrapped his arm around you and looked down at you, "going to try for your master's next?"
"ugh, let me think about it." you chuckled before you leaned in to kiss him on the lips. he held you close as you both looked at the diploma on the wall. you then said, "just need a wdc on the shelf next to it to really tie it together."
"i'll work on that." lance said with a small smirk. <3
#bunny writes#reader insert#formula 1#formula one imagine#formula one smut#f1 smut#formula one fanfiction#f1 x reader#formula one#lance stroll x you#lance stroll x y/n#lance stroll x reader#lance stroll smut#lance stroll#ls18#ls18 x reader#ls18 smut
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Self Control: Part Eight - Reveal
Jessie Fleming x Reader
Summary: Your body is starting to change, and your moods are changing even quicker! You and Jessie experience a first and you learn the sex of your baby.
Warnings: Some language. Some nudity (?), intimate touching.
A/N: I've had a few requests to have poor Jessie coping with Reader's mood swings. Enjoy! lol. Rest of the series is here.
"Finally," you said as Jessie came through the door with a package under her arm.
"What is it anyway?" She asked as she handed the box over to you and you placed it on the table to open it. She watched as you pulled out an item and held it up against yourself, turning to her.
"What do you think?" You asked with a knowing smile that shifted into a smirk. Jessie's eyes drifted to the bra you were showcasing and a goofy grin crossed her face.
"Well I think you'll need to actually try it on for me," she said flirtatiously as she came up to you, placing her hands on your growing stomach as she leaned in for a kiss.
She smiled brightly just at the touch. You were very close to 20 weeks along and your belly had swelled notably over the past few weeks. Unless if you were wearing a large sweater or jacket, it was no longer a secret that you were expecting and Jessie adored it.
Anytime you were out together she was on top of the world as she stood next to you, arm around your waist and proud as can be. She couldn't help but beam when someone referred to either of you as moms-to-be.
"I figured you'd say something like that," you responded as you pulled back and gave her a fleeting peck on the cheek as you retreated to the bedroom. Jessie trailed after you eagerly.
"I bought two new bras for now," you explained. "I'll see how comfortable they are and if I like them I'll buy more."
"Okay," she said as she sat down on the edge of the bed and practically swung her feet as you drew your top over your head. You tossed it at her playfully as she caught it with a waggle of her eyebrows.
She grinned as you stood before her and unclasped your bra, your breasts falling freely as you removed it. She bit back a chuckle at the sigh of relief you released.
"God," you breathed in complaint, cupping one of your breasts with your hand. "I should've got these two weeks ago. Can't believe how much my boobs have grown."
"I know," Jessie said in an entirely different tone, her gaze transfixed on your breasts.
She held back a bashful smirk as you shot her a look while you started to put on one of the new bras. When clasped, you studied yourself momentarily. You huffed.
"God. I'm going to need a new size in another few weeks at this rate," you complained further. Jessie stood up and approached, hands out as she gently grasped your breasts, feeling them mindfully while in appreciation.
Jessie was solely focused on your breasts until you snapped your fingers in front of her face with a laugh.
"Focus," you joked. "What do you think?"
"Glorious," Jessie said simply. You rolled your eyes affectionately as you tried on the other bra.
"Is there one you like better?" You asked. She had yet to draw her eyes away from your cleavage.
"I like them both," she said with a wide smile.
"You don't say," you teased with another eye roll. "By the way, these past few weeks have been the absolute most excited you've ever been to help me shop for clothes." Jessie felt her face heat up with a light blush, but she shrugged it off.
"What can I say? You look absolutely gorgeous." And she meant it.
"Ugh," you dismissed as you turned and studied yourself in the mirror with a borderline rueful smirk. "I thought the weight I put on in first year uni was tough." You sighed as you honed in on the faintest marks on your breasts and on your abdomen. "And I'm getting stretch marks," you whined.
"Babe," Jessie said as she stepped in front of you and placed her hands lovingly on your stomach. "That is totally normal. You're beautiful." She saw that you weren't entirely convinced and she went on. "You're beautiful," she repeated, "but I know it bothers you. So, let me put cream on for you."
"I can do it myself," you pouted as you turned away and grabbed the lotion off of the dresser. You pumped some into your hands and walked away from her as you applied it.
"Babe, don't be stubborn. Let me help," she insisted as she followed after you with a frown.
"I'm fine," you told her, keeping your back to her.
Jessie held back a sigh. She knew to expect mood swings, but you'd always been quite chill and outside of the few that happened in your first trimester, predominantly when you were dealing with morning sickness, you'd been pretty much yourself through the pregnancy. However, it couldn't always be that way.
"Baby. I would like to help you," she said patiently. You made a minor noise of acknowledgement, but grabbed your shirt off the bed and retreated to the bathroom, closing the door behind you without so much as a look her way.
She stood there alone in the bedroom and finally let out her sigh of frustration as she stared at the closed door unsure of what to do. After several moments of indecision she eventually chose to give you your space and sulked out to the kitchen. She stood there looking around and contemplating her options before opening the fridge and started to prepare a snack for you. Maybe some food would be a sufficient peace offering. Not that she was sure what she was trying to make up for.
She was still prepping the small charcuterie board of sorts when she heard you emerge from the bedroom. She looked over to you as you walked out. You were fully dressed again, but Jessie was met with the cold shoulder again. A quiet huff escaped her as she refocused on cutting up some veggies.
A few moments passed and she heard you settling in on the couch. She discretely peered over her shoulder to see you curled up on your phone. From your body language though, she could tell you were still upset.
She looked over the board before she gave a self-affirming nod and picked it up, carrying it over to you. She set it down on the table in front of you and stood there wordlessly for a few seconds watching you purposefully ignore it and her.
"I'm not hungry," you eventually said, tone flat and your eyes didn't rise from your phone.
"Well. I'll leave it there for you for when you are," Jessie said, trying to stamp out the bubbling disappointment and frustration. She watched you intently, noting the way you exhaled through your nose and settled further in, your shoulders rising up as you pulled your limbs in tighter and still avoiding eye contact.
She exhaled in the same way and turned on her heel and retreated to the bedroom, grabbing her laptop on the way. She sat cross-legged on the bed and perused her emails, read the news; anything really to busy herself.
Her eyes lifted from the screen as she heard the faint sound of you biting into a carrot or celery. She smiled faintly and picked up her phone to type out a message to you.
"I need you to know that you are truly more and more beautiful to me every day. Every part of you, too. I know it's hard for you and you may feel insecure about some things, but you are the most gorgeous woman to me. Every change in your curves, every stretch mark is beautiful to me and knowing that it's because our baby is growing each day and you're carrying them so incredibly makes it mean that much more to me."
She sent it and looked expectantly at the open doorway. The sounds of you eating stilled and she checked her phone. She saw you'd read the message and she awaited your response. The moments passed; more moments passed - nothing.
"Getting left on read by my own fiancée," Jessie muttered under her breath with a sigh as she propped her chin into her palm while she mindlessly scrolled on her laptop.
Several minutes later, her phone lit up and buzzed. She readily picked it up.
"Yet you don't want to be with me."
Jessie narrowed her eyes at the message in confusion. She shook her head and sat up straight.
"What? What are you talking about?" She said loud enough for you to hear.
Silence. She sighed, harsher this time, her patience wearing thin. She was about to speak up again when she saw the bubbles appear in your chat. She breathed quietly, forcing herself to remain calm.
"Well what are you even doing? You obviously don't want to spend time with me. And you're on a plane first thing tomorrow morning. So."
A frustrated huff escaped Jessie as she pushed herself up off the bed and strode towards the door. She slowed and took a steadying breath to get a hold of herself as she reached the doorway.
She rounded it and was about to speak when she laid eyes on you to see you sitting there, your eyes uncharacteristically teary. The irritation she'd been feeling a moment before was fully replaced by confusion and concern.
"Babe, what's going on?" She asked as she approached. "Of course I want to spend time with you. I didn't think you wanted to spend time with me. You walked away and closed the door on me. I thought you wanted space." You sniffled as she took up a spot next to you on the couch, facing you and resting a hand on your leg. You recoiled subtly and Jessie couldn't help but frown and huff. "See?" She said in accusation.
You shot her a look, eyes red and watery. "Why wouldn't I want to spend time with you? You're the most important person in my life."
"I-" Jessie stuttered and stalled, unsure how to proceed appropriately. She was always very careful with her words and unpredictable situations like this weren't ones she thrived in. While she contemplated how to respond, you wiped at a stray tear.
"No wonder you want to leave," you said, eyes still set forward and away from Jessie.
Her face screwed up. "What? No. I don't."
"Sure."
Jessie narrowed her eyes at you, entirely perplexed. She sighed audibly.
"I never enjoy leaving you to begin with. But I can't stand it now. I hate leaving for days at a time and missing moments with you and our little one. I love you more than anything. But knowing I have to go...," she trailed off, her gaze drifting down as she found her words. She looked back up at you, encouraged by how you watched her from the corner of your eye.
"Travel used to just be me going through the motions, here one day, there another, it was what it was. Now, since I met you, I miss you so much every time and I'm always so thrilled at the prospect of coming home to you. Nothing feels as good as being in your arms again after I've been away." She watched you helplessly and spoke imploringly. "Please believe me."
"God. I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me," you sniffled as you finally fully looked at her, eyes so sad and her heart swelling immediately at the sight.
She smirked and kissed your cheek, feeling it was safe to do so again. She smiled fully when you didn't pull away and instead leaned into her. She kissed the top of your head as she wrapped her arms around you and chuckled softly.
"Nothing's wrong with you - you're pregnant."
Your body jostled lightly against her as you snickered. You brought a hand up to your stomach and rubbed idly. "I really am, I guess."
Jessie kissed the top of your head again with a smile. "You still mad at me?"
"No. I'm sorry," you said as you cuddled in further. "Thanks for putting up with me. And for the snacks."
She gave you a squeeze. "Don't apologize. This is my end of the deal. it's the very least I can do."
"I appreciate it one way or another," you said as you rest against her.
You sat quietly together for a few moments before you jolted up. "Oh shit."
Cold panic went through Jessie seeing how your hands were on your stomach and you stared down wide-eyed at your bump. She did her best to remain stoic and she reached a hand out to gently rest on yours.
"What's wrong?"
"I-" You started, but stalled. You were quiet for a second before grasping Jessie's hand and pressing it against the underside of your stomach. She held her hand there motionless, eyes shifting from your bump to your face and back again as she waited silently and on the edge of her seat. Your eyes were set on the floor as if you were deep in thought.
Eventually, you let out a small sigh. "I swear I felt a fluttering of some kind. Or a couple of tiny, gentle taps." You sighed once more. "I-"
Suddenly, Jessie felt the faintest sensations under her fingers. They were over nearly as soon as they started, but they were there.
She looked up at you, eyes wide in shock, your expression now one of excitement as you looked back at her.
"Oh my God," Jessie said in wonder as she adjusted her hand slightly, hoping to feel it again, leaning in and looking as though that would make a difference.
You laughed lightly, and that was all she could feel. She frowned at you. "Stay still. I want to feel it again."
"Oh, I'm sorry," you said teasingly in exaggeration though you did pause your movements once more.
Jessie remained entirely focused on your stomach, every now and then very purposefully and slowly moving a hand around to try to perhaps feel the sensation somewhere else. She eventually tried talking.
"Hi little one. It's me - your mom," she said softly as she thumbed the swell of your stomach gently. "Do you want to move again for me?" Nothing. A tiny frown formed on her face, but she continued. "I'm really excited to see you at our ultrasound appointment next week. I have your picture up in my locker, you know. I can't wait to get a new one. I love you so much already. My whole locker is going to be pictures of you." She looked at you out of the corner of her eye with a smirk, "and Momma."
Jessie felt around for another minute or two, but to no avail. She huffed and sat back up.
Though she could feel the disappointment weighing on her, her eyebrows bunched together, she relaxed when she finally looked up to see you smiling at her.
"I think they were just telling us they're happy we made up. They don't like when we bicker," you told her. Jessie cocked a smirk and rest a hand against your stomach once more.
"Well, now I want to bicker and make-up again so I can feel them again." Your hand came to rest over hers and Jessie thumbed the back of your hand. "I think they don't like it when I make you cry. Rightfully so."
"Well hopefully they know I was being marginally irrational," you joked. "They'll make themselves known again soon. I'm sure," you told her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "And when they're kicking up a storm in the future and bruising my insides, I'm going to blame you for encouraging them."
----------
The following week, Jessie sat with you again at Dr. Mal's office for the anatomy scan. She gave you a small smile as you lay reclined on the table and the ultrasound tech applied the gel to your swollen abdomen.
Jessie lifted your hand and gave you a kiss on your knuckles before clasping your hand in both of hers. This appointment felt so different than the first ultrasound. While she'd been so nervous the first time around, and it would be a lie to say she wasn't nervous now, this time she felt more excited than anything.
She subconsciously held her breath as the technician brought the probe to your stomach and started scanning. Your hand tightened around Jessie's as images started to form on the screen.
"There's your baby," the technician said as the visuals became more defined.
Jessie beamed, eyes fixed to the screen and only pulling away when she saw your head flick towards her with a glowing smile of your own. She squeezed your hand.
While in the first scan, your baby was merely a small shape, now, your baby was unmistakable. She belatedly realized she was tearing up already just at the image before you.
"I'm going to take a number of images and scans here, and then Dr. Mal will come in after she's reviewed and she'll talk through everything with you. And we'll share all of this with your midwife's office, okay?" The technician reminded you; you both nodded, distracted with the images on the screen instead.
When the technician finished, it was just Jessie and you in the room as you got changed and awaited the results. Jessie beamed as you placed a hand on her cheek and kissed her deeply, a bright smile on your face when you pulled back.
"It all looked good, right? Like, there would've been some obvious signs if something was wrong, right?" You asked as you sat down with her.
Jessie nodded. She didn't really know, though she'd done her best to try to do some research, but she didn't really know what she was looking for.
"Everything seemed fine and the technician didn't let on if anything was concerning, but," Jessie slowed, "if anything were wrong, we'll take things one step at a time and we'll get through it together."
It felt like ages before Dr. Mal entered the room. Jessie let out a breath she'd inadvertently been holding upon seeing her enter with a smile.
After some initial greetings and a general check-in, she finally broached the scans.
"I'm sure you're just wanting to talk about the scans, right?" She asked with a knowing smile. Jessie blushed lightly, but nodded and you answered "Yes." She laughed and nodded. "I figured as much. That's what every parent wants."
She pulled up the scans on a monitor and began walking you both through everything. The placenta's position, the amount of amniotic fluid, how the baby's major organs and structures were developing. Jessie felt relief wash over her as everything was relayed as either satisfactory or even good.
"And although these are simply estimates, based on your baby's gestational age, your baby is developing very well. In fact, they appear to be slightly above the 50th percentile in terms of their size - closer to 65, actually. So, momma, you're doing a great job of nurturing your baby and, mom, you're doing a great job of taking care of her and making sure she has everything she needs. This doesn't necessarily mean your baby will be bigger at birth, but it can be an indicator."
Jessie felt your eyes on her and she inadvertently began to blush.
"And, it says here that you wanted to know the baby's sex. Is that right?"
Jessie nodded rapidly and you affirmed.
While Jessie, of all people, knew that the sex assigned at birth wasn't going to dictate how your child lived their life or who they would grow up to be, you both agreed that you still wanted to know. Neither of you were overly into gender norms, so regardless of what was revealed, it wasn't going to be a blue or pink path forward, you simply were curious and it could help inform some aspects of their arrival.
"Okay. Well, you are going to be the very proud mommas of..."
You both tightened your grip on one another's hand.
"...a baby girl."
A/N: Next chapter will be J and R going on a baby moon up to Canada. Drive-by visit with the Flemings included!
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I just found your blog and im already OBSESSED 😍
Would I be able to request Ghost with a prek/kindergarten teacher? Maybe helping her make decorations for the classroom or building cubby’s for the classroom?
Thank you!
Sorry for the delayed response. Got caught up in uni work, but I hope you like it!
"Why is everything so tiny?" Simon nudged a rather small chair away from an equally as small circular table.
Because they're tiny. I am a kindergarten teacher after all. Everything is small because it promotes a better learning environment for the children. They're small, so having things in their size lets them experience things in the way an adult would." You bump the chair back into place with your knee and move to set the box down on one of the tables with a heavy thump
"I... guess that makes sense. Do you have a normal-sized chair I can sit in, preferrably Simon-sized so I don't get stuck in it?"
"I have my stool behind mt desk, but I'm going to be sitting on it to finish up some lesson plans. Which while zi work on those you'll be putting together paper chains to hang around my classroom. I need links of 100, as many as you can make before you run out of paper. Chop chop, mister." You clap your hands together and toss your hair over your shoulder as you walk toward your desk. You can hear Simon grumble behind you before you hear the creaking groan of him finding a seat in on of the tiny chairs. Consider yourself impressed it didn't break with his weight.
The rhythm of you typing away on your keyboard combined with the rustling of paper from Simon, it was relaxing in your classroom. Your classroom had a calming aura to it with its dimmed lighting and purple and green theme. You tried your best to not get distracted from your task, but seeing the tall and broad man sitting before you at a tiny kindergarten table using kiddie scissors to cut up strips of construction paper to glue together made you smile. You felt your heart melt at the thought this big man would do anything for you if you asked. Maybe you could convince him to play a tree in the play you wanted to host later in the year.
Distracted from looking at him, you barely notice him sealing the last of the steps together creating about 4 chains. He stretches his fingers and looks over his shoulder toward you with a glare, but you could see the hints of a smile in the same eyes. "I think that's the rest of them. Anything else you want me to do?"
You dart your eyes away back to your screen. Despite trying your best to not get distracted, you had lost your place within your work. You really needed to finish this up before class started up again the following week, so you glanced around the room to see what else he could do. Just your luck, but you spotted some boxes to the side that you had been meaning to put together for some years now. The cubbies had been in storage in your back closest for a while, you just kept putting them on the back burner. Better now than ever, you suppose. "You could out together those cubbies and line them up by the door. I have some screwdrivers in my desk. Not sure what you'd need."
Simon grunted in agreement and moved over toward your desk to retrieve the screwdrivers you pulled from your drawer. With a quick swipe, the tools were gone and Simon was off on a mission to put those cubbies together. Thankfully, he was working out of your direct line of sight so you wouldn't be distracted by the horrifically tight black T-shirt he wore as it stretched across his back as he moved.
Eventually, everything was finished up and you were thankful for the help, even though you did have to bribe Simon a bit. Though you believe he wanted to spend the day with you anyway considering he wasn't sure how long his leave would last. Regardless, you finally could mark those items off your to do list and worry about spending the next day relaxing in bed with Simon.
#simon riley x you#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#cod x reader#metalfuzz cod requests#ghost x you#ghost x reader
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Cowboy Up - Pt.1 - Ryan x Dutton!reader
Um so I watched all of Yellowstone last week and as a result, my multi-year writer's block was broken by a need to see more of Ryan because I am obsessed with Ian Bohen. Idk how many parts this will have or how often it will get updated as I'm in the last few months of uni but I hope y'all enjoy!
Pairing: Ryan (Yellowstone) x Dutton!Reader (Kayce's twin sister)
WC: 1053
Next part
Disclaimer: Beyond watching Yellowstone I have zero/little knowledge of Western riding and the ranching lifestyle but I do know horses so that has certainly influenced this! I'm also English so writing dialogue correctly for them is not my strong point! If you find any issues please let me know!
---
The sun was just beginning to dip below the mountains and the cold was starting to set in when she joined him on the fence. Neither of them spoke for a while, just looking out at the vastness in front of them, all that was theirs but came with so many conditions.
Eventually she broke the silence, “so you told him? How’d he take that one?”
Wordlessly he opened his shirt where the ‘Y’ was just starting to scab over, still red and angry.
“Motherfucker,” she swore, “this ain’t fair Kayce. He doesn’t just get to do this.”
He shook his head, “dad does whatever he wants and there ain’t no consequences for him. That’s why I gotta do this.”
“Shit man. What’s Monica gonna do? Besides worrying about you getting your ass shot in the desert miles from civilisation?”
Kayce chuckled, “beats getting my ass shot in the middle of Montana miles from civilisation. She’ll be okay, her family will help and she’ll be a teacher. Just like she planned. It’s you I’m worried about here with dad and no one else to speak sense to. ‘Cept Lee”
“Well I’m leaving, dad be damned. I’m not gonna be a pawn in his power trip. Gonna go see this godforsaken country and win it all so that when I come back he can’t question whether it’s where I wanna be,” she declared.
Her brother rolled his eyes, “you ain’t talking about the same him now.”
“I don’t know what your talking about,” she denied, staring out at the darkened mountains.
Kayce shoved her shoulder, “you can’t bullshit to me y/n. That’s the one problem with being twins, ain’t no way to lie to me.”
“I’m just a kid to him, he ain’t ever gonna see me any other way if I stay here,” she admitted, “hell if I stay here no one will ever see me as anything more than his kid. ‘S why we both gotta do this Kayce.”
He nodded, “no way to stand in the sun in this state, always gonna be a shadow.”
“When I come back I’ll be able to stand in sunlight so bright I’ll have a fucking halo.”
-/-/-
2 years later…
Montana has its charms all year round, but fall has a particular appeal. The leaves had started to turn, there was a chill in the air that only seemed to get stronger and there was still a frost on the grass that the sun hadn’t hit.
With the sun keeping the cold from their bones, the Yellowstone ranch hands were occupying themselves keeping their roping skills fresh. Rip observed from the sidelines as the new hand struggled to keep up with Ryan who turned to lecture the kid about keeping his eye on the steer.
Lloyd rolled his eyes when he missed the horns again, “you gotta try harder than that if you wanna be a wrangler!”
“He keeps pulling the damn steer too early,” the hand argued back.
Ryan glared at him, “don’t fuckin’ blame me for your bad skills.”
Before they could descend into an all out brawl, the group were distracted by the sound and sight of truck coming down the road. They watched it pull up in front of the barn, trailer in tow. A rare silence occupied them as they watched a young woman step out, adjust her hat then stare out across the ranch in front of her.
“Well I’ll be damned,” Lloyd muttered, “she’s back. You fuckin’ know about this?”
Rip said nothing, but his face gave the answer. The other hands who recognised her muttered between themselves about what she was doing back after so long.
The new hand leaned over towards Ryan, “who the fuck is that and why does everybody care?”
“That is y/n Dutton,” he answered without taking his eyes off of her.
“I didn’t know John had another daughter,” he responded.
Ryan shook his head, “hell kid you gotta lot to learn about this place.”
“She’s fuckin’ hot mind,” the hand murmered.
The older hand spat out his words, “you keep words like that off your tongue if you want to keep it.”
Lee stepped out of the barn and stepped around the truck to greet her, “the prodigal daughter returns.”
“I don’t see Beth anywhere,” she laughed bitterly, “but it’s good to see you Lee.”
He hugged her, “I’m glad you’re back. Been a long time coming.”
“I came back for me, not for him remember that,” she turned towards the corral, “think I’ve given them enough of a show to explain it so they can pick their jaws up off the floor?”
He gestured for her to follow him towards where the ranch hands were all still quietly watching. She strode over to the group, smiling at Rip who nodded back at her.
“Where’s that mare of yours?” He asked.
Y/n shrugged, “a champion barrel horse would be wasted on this ranch. Sold her for more money than I’m ever gonna earn in the rest of my lifetime.”
“You ain’t rodeoing anymore?” Lloyd questioned.
“I did what I set out to do when I went on the circuit. Saw this godforsaken country and won it all. It’d get boring to win it over again,” she moved her gaze towards where Ryan was watching her, “ain’t no one gonna question where I wanna be now.”
Rip nodded, “afraid we ain’t got a horse to spare for you y/n.”
“I got that covered Rip. Got one coming up tomorrow from a ranch in Wyoming. Some fuckin’ old school boys who don’t know how to be nice to a horse they didn’t ruin,” she explained, “man’s wife broke it and now she’s dead ain’t no one gonna ride him gentle. Figured he might stand a chance with me.”
Lloyd chuckled, “always were a soft hand. Figured that’s how you won it all.”
“Guess that question that remains is, do you have a place for me? Not in the house but here,” she clarified.
Lee looked at Rip then back at his sister, “I reckon so. You gonna stay in the bunkhouse?”
“Oh fuck no,” y/n laughed, “I didn’t drag that thing all the way from Texas to sleep with these fuckheads. It’s looked after me in worse places. Think it’ll do just fine here.”
#ryan yellowstone#ryan yellowstone x reader#yellowstone#yellowstone tv#yellowstone imagine#dutton ranch#dutton!reader#ian bohen
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cheer up, baby!
SUMMARY&TAGS: nerd, unistudent !gojo x fem unistudent! reader. established couple, the reader is stressed out abt a grp project, fluff, kissing, petnames: baby, lovely
authors note: A bit self-indulgent lawl my novel study group refuse to read the book which we get graded on our discussions for.. n e ways thank u for the love on my last fic, I love love uni toru with my heart so more to come for sure!

It's freezing. Snow fell all over the campus, dusting the trees and sidewalks in a white blanket. She trudged through the big uni campus, bundled up in her puffer coat, thick scarf, earmuffs, feeling the weight of her frustration in every step she took. There's a project due next week, after sending who knows how many emails to her groupmates about the project, politely reminding them about the deadline for their parts. Yet, she's been in a monologue this whole time, being met with silence.
Her feet led to a stop right in front of Sartoru’s apartment, fixing her thick scarf and trying to ignore the tears building on her lower lashes. Her classmates weren't making it easier for her while already trying to balance her classes, her part-time job, and now this stupid project.
With a soft sigh, she presses the buzzer to her boyfriend's apartment. After a few seconds, the entrance unlocks. She walks in slowly, her footsteps heavy and her shoulders slightly hunched from exhaustion. Her eyes were already glossy, the first hint of tears pricking the corners of her eyes as she looked at him. A soft pout sat on her lips, trembling slightly as she bit down on them, trying to hold it together.
When she reached his floor, his door opened with a click, as if he were waiting for her. There, Satoru was, barefoot in grey sweat pants and a hoodie with some dumb obscure math pun on the front of it. His black rimmed glasses sat on the bridge of his nose, and his messy white hair had a pencil tucked behind one ear. She must’ve caught mid-study.
“Toru..” she murmurs, a little broken. A quiet sadness is present in her voice.
He pauses, his eyes scanning over her: the puffiness around her eyes and how her head seemed to hang. She never showed up at his place with a look on her face like that, or a defeated air that appeared to replace the more playful air she usually carried. He quickly stepped closer to her.
“Hey, baby,” he murmurs gently, stepping aside to let her in. “C’mere.”
She steps inside, shaking off her boots as he shuts the door behind her. He turns to her, helping her unwind her scarf, brushing strands of her hair out of her face before removing her earmuffs. The last to go is her coat, which he zips down with careful hands. As her arms are freed, she wraps them around herself. Satoru hung her jacket in the closet, then reached for her again, cupping her cold cheeks, his thumb softly brushing under her eyes. “Baby, what happened?” he whispers, every word dripping with concern. She tried to speak, but her voice faltered. Her lips trembling before she sniffled, finally choking out, “I’m doing this project, and all my groupmates aren't answering my emails, messages.” She hiccups. “I've been doing everything by myself, and it's due next week, and I'm so exhausted, toru.”
“Shh,” He hums, pressing a kiss to one corner of her lips, and one to the other. “I got you, breathe, lovely.”
“But–
“Nuh uh,” He kisses away a tear. “Worst case, you email your prof and explain what happens if it isn't done in time. I’ll help you draft it, or better yet, I’ll vouch for you myself if I need to.”
She blinks up at him through wet lashes.
Satoru grins, trying to lighten the mood. “We can even attach text receipts and the ghosted emails if we want.”
“But…” she mutters softly. “What if he thinks I'm just blaming them?”
Satoru shakes his head slightly, gently nudging her with his hand on his back until they reach the couch. He sits down, pulling her down, and she drapes her legs over his immediately. “Then try reaching out one more time. Only once, though. But it's Friday night, why let this ruin it?”
He wraps his arms around her, pulling her flush against him. She melts into him, face buried into his hoodie, inhaling the faint scent of his ridiculously expensive cologne, detergent, and something sweet that always clung to him. His chin rested on the top of her head.
“You deserve better groupmates,” he whispers. “You’re intelligent and hardworking, and even though you're extra pretty when you cry, cheer up, lovely.” She lets a muffled sound into his chest, a half-laugh, half-sob.
“I'll always be here for you.” He murmurs quietly.
“I just wanted to do good on this project,” she sighs, fingers curling into his hoodie. “I don't want to fail.”
“You won't. You just need a break. You've been going at it nonstop.” He whispers back, tightening his arms around.
Her sniffles start to halt, her breathing steady as she sinks into him.
“And in the meantime,” he said, resting his cheek against her hair. “You're staying right here with me all night.”
“But I didn't bring anything over to sleep in?” She mutters.
“Good think I bought you a emergency pair huh?” he smirks, pressing a kiss to her temple.
She titled her head at him, puffy brown eyes meeting sharp blue ones. “You're weird, Toru..”
“Incorrect, I'm just prepared for anything s'all.” His words earn a soft giggle, a smile sitting on his lips.
“There's my girl,” he coos, a stupid grin on his face. “Missed you.”
She looks up at him, something genuine and warm sitting on her face, “thanks toru.”
He leans down to press a kiss to her lips, slowly and carefully. “Always, lovely.”

© amaikute '25
#˚₊‧꒰ა トル my heart ! ໒꒱ ‧₊˚#satoru gojō x reader#satoru gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru#jjk satoru#jjk x reader#jujustsu kaisen x reader#gojo x reader#uni gojo my big dork
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What's A Soulmate? Part 4
In which you finally come back home.
Warnings: alcohol use. angst. Pairing: Lando Norris X SainzSister!Reader Word count: 1.9k plus social media posts
- What's A Soulmate? - Part 1 - What's A Soulmate? - Part 2 - What's A Soulmate? - Part 2.5 - What's a Soulmate - Part 3 - Master List
LittlestSainzSis honey, i'm home. user433 isn't it weird she's working for McLaren and not Ferrari??? >>>user3928 nope! hope this helps! user2918 press officer job right out of school? must be nice being a nepo baby >>>user328 she literally worked for Carlos and Lando for two years before going to uni at NYU??? And she has a double degree in PR and business??? >>>usesr322 just say you're jealous next time, it'll be quicker. McLaren So glad to have you back in the paddock!!
LittlestSainzSis fast cars go vroom OscarPiastri so you're who Zak was yelling at to get behind the barrier over the radio??? >>>LittlestSainzSis oops!
LittlestSainzSis that feeling when you wake up and realize it's race day!! user3928: face card never declines user298: blah blah, proper name, place name, back story stuff LandoNorris: don't let that cute face fool you, she was yelling at Oscar and I ten seconds after I took this. >>>LittlestSainzSis neither of you were listening!!! God, this is 2019 all over again, isn't it? >>>user992 ariana what are you doing hereeeeee??? >>>user9383 seriously the first time Lando's in the comments in literal years. tf??? >>>user938 so we're all just going to ignore him calling her cute??? okay???
LittlestSainzSis the boys are ready for race day!!! McLaren best press officer award goes to you bby! >>>user382 admin is unhinged today, I see user0392 i just love seeing Lando back on her feed. >>>user3938 seriously. i feel like mom and dad are back together again. >>>user3844 i'm so glad i don't have to be a child of divorce anymore.
LittlestSainzSis caught someone being a grumpy gills today during the presser. LandoNorris i was probably hungry >>>LittlestSainzSis i think oscar had just told you he was getting sushi with Lily tonight and you got all pouty >>>user948 not her selling out Lando in the comments user938 Chaos Gremlins back to terrorizing paddock! war is over!
Miami May 2024
“Fifteen times Lando Norris has stood on the podium, but never on the top step, until now! It’s a landmark day for Lando! Lando Norris wins for the first time in Formula One! It’s victory in Miami for Norris and McLaren! The British drivers dream is realized and at the 110th attempt, he’s done it! He’s won it! Look what it means to Zak Brown! At long last, Lando is your winner!”
Tears stream down your face as you listen to Alex Jacques call the end of the race in your headphones, his voice filled with glee and excitement that matches the feeling in the McLaren garage. After yesterday’s DNF for Lando, it had been pretty doom and gloom on his side of the garage.
Your heart had ached when you caught sight of him that afternoon, sitting in the glass enclosed conference room that the team used to go over race data. He had been all alone, spinning aimlessly in one of the chairs, face drawn and shuttered. You had wanted to go to him then but hadn’t worked up the courage.
Things were still…delicate between the two of you. After that first night in Australia, Lando had kept his promise to win your friendship back. You more often than not found your morning coffee order sitting at your desk waiting for you during the week with a silly note written hastily on a posit in his chicken scratch writing that only you seemed to be able to decipher.
A few treats and free coffee weren’t going to be enough to bring back that casual intimacy that you and Lando had though, you both knew that. The walls you had built up so high around your heart designed specifically for the British driver were still solidly in place and you refused to go running back into his arms so easily.
And then, Miami happens.
The hot sticky humidity clings to your skin as you watch Lando climb out of the car behind the black and white number 1 sign, the first time he’s been able to park his Formula 1 car right in the middle of parc fermi. You’re not entirely sure where the humidity of Florida ends and the tears still falling from your eyes begins, you’re such a mess.
If you were to think too hard about it, the fact that you were a complete puddle of jumbled up emotion would surely scare you a little. Those walls, they couldn’t be crumbling now, could they? They couldn’t be slowly tumbling down, allowing for the while possibility of allowing Lando back into your life like he had been before?
You don’t have time to get too lost in those dangerous kinds of thoughts though because soon after he hops off the car, he’s running straight over to the garage crew and leaping into their waiting arms. He’s waited for so long for this, so many poor performances, so many mistakes and problems with the car had sent him spiraling for so many years. There had been too many nights you had spent with him when he was barely more than a teenager, sat on the floor lamenting about how shit his car was, how shit his driving was, and if he was destined to be one of those midfield drivers that never won anything in their career.
All of those doubts are erased now and your tears are falling again as the weight of what he’s done settles over the paddock. His engineers and mechanics eventually place him back down on the ground and he’s hugging Zak next, the CEO of McLaren more of a father figure to him by now. Will gets a hug too, his engineer since he joined the team five years ago.
And then, icy blue green eyes snag yours and everything else falls away in a muted hush. He’s smiling at you, that megawatt grin making his eyes crinkle up at the corners. It’s one of those genuine Lando smiles that you haven’t been on the receiving end of for far too long. Your heart stutters to a stop when you realize you’re his next target. What is he doing? You think frantically, mortified that you’re about to be the center of attention if he does what you think he’s going to do.
And he does. He throws his arms around your shoulders and buries his head deep into the crook of your neck, a move that has camera shutters clicking furiously all around you. You, of course, instantly find your arms wrapped around his shoulders, squeezing him to you despite the metal barrier between you.
“You’re here.” He sounds surprised that you’d miss this moment.
“Of course I am. My best friend just won his first Grand Prix.” You whisper into his ear as the crowd continues to grow louder.
Lando pulls back then, tears shining in his eyes. The weight of your words settle on his shoulders and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him look at you the way he is now. He tucks a strand of hair that’s fallen out of your pony tail behind your ear, looking at you like you’ve hung both the moon and the stars in the sky just for him. “I’m so glad you got to be here for this, pretty girl.”
God, that nickname. It’s the first time you’ve heard it in years and it does significant damage to those carefully constructed walls.
You smile up at Lando, a little bashful that everyone is watching you two talk so closely together. He returns the smile before turning around to answer a question from one of the officials. He needs to take care of post race inspections, which he does but not before turning back and tossing a wink at you over his shoulder.
LittleSainzSis It has been a pleasure and privlidge watching you grow over all these years. Life may have taken us in different directions over the last few years but when I say there is no place I would have rather been this afternoon, I mean it from the bottom of my heart. Your friendship means the entire world to me, Mr. Norris. I'm so proud of you. One win down, so many more to go. LandoNorris so glad you got to be there today, pretty girl xo >>>user948 WE GOT A PRETTY GIRL COMMENT. >>>user0383 i can die happy now user0832 i'm sorry but guys, she literally just friendzoned him so hard in that caption. >>>user9383 yeah, poor lando
LittlestSainzSis You're going to smell like champagne for weeks LandoNorris worth it user948 EXCUSE ME WHAT IS THAT FACE. explain yourself lando norris. user928 did we mean to post this on main ma'am??? user9482 @/littlestsainzsis giving us what we all crave: lando thirst traps. >>>littlestsainzsis don't say i never give you guys anything ever again ;) >>>user9482 omg hi queen
LittlestSainzSis find yourself a man that looks at you like Lan looks at that trophy user0382 LANNNN??? >>>user9484 I am unwell CarlosSainz He's sleeping with it tonight, isn't he? >>>LandoNorris who told you that??? user9383 i feel like i'm interrupting something here... user0309 this picture is...a choice...
The music of the Miami night club pulses through your body as you sink deeper and deeper into the VIP booth later that night. Lando hadn’t given you any room for arguments after all the media duties were done. You were coming out with him and the rest of the team to celebrate. You had barely tried to refuse, not giving him much of a fight because you secretly wanted nothing more.
Now you sat in the leather booth situated high up in the dark Miami Beach night club that had invited Lando out the moment he had crossed the finish line earlier in the day. There were what felt like thousands of people, most of them were there to celebrate with Lando, hoping to get a glimpse of the driver.
Alcohol burns at the back of your throat, blurring your vision nicely as you wait for Lando to return from the bar. You had insisted that he wasn’t the one who should be making drink runs tonight but he had insisted on getting you another one and hadn’t taken no for an answer. Carlos is sat next to you, nursing a drink while talking to Charles on his other side.
A small glass is set down in front of you, drawing your attention away from the DJ booth, where you had been starting.
“Vodka sprite for my pretty girl.” Lando murmurs in your ear, the words sending a cool shiver up your spine.
You desperately tamp down the way that being called his makes you feel. You cannot be going down that road. Not now when the friendship between the two of you is so fragile. You knew what it was like to lose him in your life and you weren’t sure if you were willing to risk losing him again.
The same worries you had back before it all went sideways worm their way back into your consciousness. He was too important to you, too integrated into your soul that when he disappeared, it left you broken in a million pieces. You couldn’t risk that again. This had to be strictly platonic between you if it was going to work. You couldn’t afford to lose your best friend again. Those walls around your heart needed to be reinforced and brought back into working order because there was no way you could let this happen.
“Dance with me?” The question is a husky one, whispered in your ear so no one else is privy to it.
You know it’s dangerous. You should say no. But the vodka already in your system convinces you that it’s fine. It’s just Lando. So against your what your sober self would consider the best judgement, you feel yourself nodding, allowing Lando to tangle his fingers with yours and pull you out onto the dance floor.
If you had been paying better attention, you would have seen the looks Carlos and Charles exchanged behind your back. They were well aware of the frosty relationship that Lando and you had over the last few years and this was a development no one had seen coming but everyone had been hoping for all the same.
The EDM beats are strong and sensual as Lando leads you out onto the floor, hand firmly gripping yours. He finds an open spot and pulls you towards him, the heat of his body radiating off of him in waves. His hands land on your hips, fingertips gripping at your skirt a little harder than really necessary. You shouldn’t want this. Shouldn’t want his hands on your hips, his breath mingling with yours, his curls so dangerously close that you could easily rake your fingers through them. You shouldn’t and you can’t because he’s left you before and he could do it all over again. He’s abandoned you and didn’t come back and every sane thought in your body is screaming at you that this man is dangerous. He is dangerous to your heart and your head is thrashing around so loudly but it’s drowned out by the music.
You simply can’t fight it when he pulls you impossibly closer, hands sliding from your hips lower, lower, lower until it’s almost indecent. The alcohol blurs the edges of your usually sharp judgement and it’s not helped by the fact that this man seems to have cast a spell over you. You can’t want this. Can’t love how the weight of his hands feel on your skin. Can’t adore how his lips tick up at the edges when he sees you walk into the garage during a race weekend.
This is Lando after all. Your best friend. Your best friend who abandoned you once and had only barely just come back begging for forgiveness. You can’t allow him to knock down those walls so quickly, can you?
His lips flutter over the damp skin at your temple, dusting the slightest kiss there, almost as if it’s a test. A test to see if you push him away or allow him in.
A test that you fail.
Because the moment his lips touch your skin, it feels like a bucked of ice water has been splashed over your head and you realize what the fuck you’re doing. Its too hot. Too close. Too much and you simply can’t have him touching you anymore. No, this isn’t how it’s supposed to happen. Panic races through you as you stumble back out of his arms, logic finally winning out over your own heart’s stupidity.
The delicate balance you had struck with him shatters in an instant because you both knew there was supposed to be more between you but you’re desperately scared and Lando is so wretchedly full of regret he can’t stand it.
“I’m sorry.” Is all you manage to choke out before fleeing.
Tag List: @anilovessadbooks, @shelbyteller, @formulaal, @martygraciesversion381, @longhairkoo, @samantha-chicago, @stelena-klayley @dark-night-sky-99 @luckylampzonkland, @chlmtfilms , @inarabee @aykxz98 @forensicheart @cheer-bear-go-vroom @lieutenantchaos @willowsnook @sltwins @linnygirl09 @powerfulmess @technicallypleasanttree @meglouise00 @mixedstyles @strawberryy-kiwii @secret-agents-stole-my-bunnies @unknownmystery22 @mrosales16 @charlesgirl16
(Some of the tags aren't working? LMK if you want to be added/removed but I'm like 99% certain I have everyone!)
#f1#formula 1#lando norris#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#lando norris x you#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#slow burn fic#friends to strangers to lovers
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seventeen members as love tropes: lee chan
age gap (younger/older)
'open your eyes and see, i'm all you'll ever need'
'age is just a number.'
you sigh, turning to look at chan. 'how many times you're going to repeat that?'
'as many times as it'll take to stick in your head,' he responses easily, ignoring your flat tone and bad mood. 'age is just a number, it means nothing. so what that i am younger? does that make me less of a man?'
'lee chan, i just failed my economy midterm, how about we'll discuss the nuances of what it takes to be a man a bit later?' you deadpan, trying to keep a strict face when boy in front of you blushes.
channie blushes so prettily, you can't help but notice. he, in general, is a very pretty boy, something that you unfortunately also can't help but notice. his profile is worth painting a picture for, his smile makes you feel warm even in the coldest days and his energy levels never fail to surprise you. he also is, well, younger. much younger.
'it's just one midterm,' he soothes and moves closer, taking something out of his bag. 'it won't heavily affect your overall score, no? here, i bought your favorite croissants with pistachio from that bakery down the street.'
you frown. 'down the street? that's a really expens- channie, those croissants are really expensive.'
boy next to you has the audacity to simply shrug his shoulders like it's not a big deal. 'so what? you like them, right?' at your nod, he smiles. 'then it's okay that they are expensive.'
and it's- terribly sweet. extremely thoughtful. very kind. chan treats you like no one did before and you two are not even dating. he's finishing his first year in uni, works half-time in the library and has several basketball trainings a week but somehow always finds time for you. he is there when you're on your close-up duty in the coffee shop you work, always with umbrella cause he knows you don't have one and waits patiently for you to check all locks and then walks you back to the dormitory under the 'it's so dark outside, it's unsafe' excuse. he remembers your favorite everything from snacks to tv shows and always sends you funny memes about them to cheer you up during midterms/exams week or leaves something at your dorm for you to pick up. he listens to your endless rambles about what awaits you after uni as you're on your last year and lets you cry it out on his shoulder, never minding wet patches you leave on his shirts. chan could've been your boyfriend, really. but he's so young and you feel like you're robbing him out of experiencing this university at full even when your age difference is not that big. but why would a first year boy date forth year girl?
'you're supposed to eat them, you know,' he gently nudges your shoulder, pulling you out of sad thoughts. 'have they already gone cold? we have microvewave on our floor, if you wait here i can quickly run-'
'no need,' you interrupt, barely breathing due to how tight your chest is. exactly how much this boy is ready to do for you? 'i'll eat it like that. thank you very much, channie.'
he beams at you and he really has no business in being this cute, it does something weird to your heart. you both sit in comfortable silence as you think about all the instances when chan barelled you with his 'age is just a number'. he got hooked on you pretty much the moment you two met and for the last six months you've been hearing the same 'age is just a number' five times a week.
'are you really very sad because of the midterm?' he asks in a quiet voice. 'or is there something else?'
of course there is something else. uncertainty about the future, anxiety over the rest of the midterms, fear of failing - 'yeah, just that midterm,' you mutter, trying to fake a smile.
'why are you lying?' his tone is too harsh for you not to flinch. 'why are you lying to me right now? is it because i'm younger?'
'wha- chan, what?' you ask, baffled.
chan takes a deep breath and stares back at you with utmost seriousness. 'you think just because i'm younger i won't be able to take it? won't be able to be there for you and support you in your struggles? why are you lying to me? why you are not telling the whole truth about what's bothering you? you think i can't help just because i'm not your age or older? is this it?'
he actually is upset, you realize in shock. chan looks like he's two seconds away from pulling his hair out or crying, whichever is more fitting. his eyes are pleading you to come clean to him, to let him be there for you and your throat constricts with unsaid words. no one has ever shown this consistent interest in you, no one ever made it clear about their intentions and this right now, coming from a boy who's much younger, who only now dips his toes in the mature world makes you want to cry. it must show on your face, because chan's face crumples and he quickly sits closer to you, mumbling 'please, please don't cry, i'm sorry!' and rubbing your back.
'i'm fine, i'm fine,' you say, wiping away few tears. 'sorry, i'm weirdly overemotional these days.'
'nothing to be sorry for,' he instantly says, frowning. 'are you okay? did i upset you?'
you shake your head, smiling a little. 'no. you just made me realize what douchebags i dated before you.'
'oh.' chan's eyebrows quirk in a cute way. 'uh- you're welcome?'
cracking up, you lean further into him and chan welcomes it readily, wrapping his arms around you. he's warm and solid and it feels good and safe to stay like that with him. age is just a number. 'channie,' you start and he hums a little, letting you know that he's listening. 'i don't want to burden you with my soon-to-graduate kind of problems, when you've just started your uni life here. you've got so much going on and i-'
'i'm very strong,' chan interrupts with voice full of determination. 'i can have my own problems and take care of yours at the same time, i promise.'
it's sweet. so terribly, horribly sweet, you think you're going to kiss him right now. and you do, smiling when he instantly hugs you tighter and kisses you back. god, it feels good to be wanted. when you lean back, channie is staring at you in awe, stars shine in his eyes so brightly that you can't help but kiss him again. 'okay, strong boy,' you mutter, cuddling up to him. 'you got me in the end. age is just a number.'
a/n: finishing up these series pretty soon, whew! how did you like this one? come say hi <3 - nini
my other works are here
if somehow someone reading this is into formula 1, then my works for it are here
#seventeen imagine#seventeen fluff#seventeen reaction#seventeen#seventeen scenarios#lee chan imagine#seventeen lee chan#lee chan#seventeen chan#lee chan fluff#lee chan x reader#seventeen x reader#svt chan#svt lee chan#svt imagine#svt x reader#seventeen fanfic#svt fic#seventeen fic#seventeen dino
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Re-Introduction 🎀
Hello!!! With the start of the school year coming soon for me, I decided I'd reintroduce myself, as this is my main blog and I typically use it as a studyblr-type of blog because it helps keep me going towards my goals! Of course i still post about my physical health, mental health, and daily life, but when college/university is in session, my life typically revolves around school!
🎀 A Little About Me 🎀
you guys can call me Rosey 🌹
I am 21 years old, she/her
I am entering my 4th year of college/uni BUT I recently added a 2nd major so I don't graduate for another year/year and a half ish
I am majoring in Human Nutrition and Dietetics, 2nd major in Finance, and a double minor in Psychology and Exercise Science
I love learning so so so much, as you can tell
I study languages in my free time
^ Currently rotating between (Mexican) Spanish, Japanese, and Korean
I love all things health, fitness, and wellness
I love to work out! My favorite ways to work out right now are weight lifting, walking, mat pilates, and yoga! My university offers workout classes for free to full time students so I'll be taking yoga/pilates classes at my campus!
I do work a full-time, on-campus food service job. 40 hours of work a week, and 15 college credit hours this semester 😅
I love to read, write, listen to music, and want to pick up more hobbies such as sewing, dance, crochet, drawing, painting, etc
This account started out as a "wonyoungism" account and slowly turned into my own little safe space where I am free to be myself without fear of judgment. Of course my aesethic is still pink and wonyoungism ish but I do fully plan on turning this into a more studyblr type of account using my own photos once university starts back up! So stay tuned for that little transition!
I'm always open to questions and I love giving advice and helping others! Whether it's something academic related, personal goal related, whatever, I'm always here to help if I can! <3 I love this little community i have <3
I've said so much already, lol, my bad. I'm just so excited for this upcoming semester. I don't know what it is about it, but I have such a feeling this will be a good school year for me! Feel free to drop an ask, or a comment, or anything! I will be making more posts of more academic related topics soon!
til next time lovelies 🩷
#pink pilates girl#pink pilates princess#self development#it girl#wonyoungism#mental health#self care#that girl#physical health#self love#studyblr#langblr#lifeblr#uniblr#university student#college student#that girl energy#becoming that girl#it girl self care#it girl energy#clean girl aesthetic#clean girl#pink academia#pink blog#pilates aesthetic#student life#college life#language studyblr#college studyblr#university life
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Rebound
Pairings: s.coups/seungcheol × y/n
Genre/tags: friends/fwb
Warning: 🔞smut, a little fluff, cursing, semi public, dry humping, handjob, oral (m/f receiving), unprotected sex/drunk sex, mention of alcohol
(Always be safe and make sure to have consent... always...)
~~~~[lmk if i miss anything]
Words: 2.5k
Disclaimer:
- this story is just made up
- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊
A/N: this might be all over the place since i wrote it while im trying to sleep🫠 Hope you all have a great week ahead....
Brb. 👩🏻💻
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You are heart broken right now. Your boyfriend or should we say ex just broke up with you recently. Through text and you haven't gotten the chance to get a grip of it yet. The breakup is still fresh and the way he just dumped you is still painful. He's heartless for doing such thing. No one should ever experience such thing!
"I hate men." You blurt out as you lay down on the mat that you and your friend put down the floor so you guys could lay down whilst star gazing. Of course with alcohol and snacks involve.
"All of a sudden?" Seungcheol heard you as he was just about to come out of his house. "I invited you here at my place... to relax... to entertain you.. for you to stop crying over your ex... then... now you hate men? Even me?" He sound offended
You laugh at his reaction. "Sorry... I can't help it." You say, "Men invades women's lives... flirt with us, make us fall in lovd... then when they feel like they need to go to the next target they'll just throw us like we are nothing..."
"You are not wrong with that... but hey not all men are like that." He sits down next to you, holding a beer on his hand. "Look at me..." he adds
You get up and sit straight next to him, "Yeah... you're a nice person..." you lean your head on his shoulder. "Too nice... even... that's why---"
"Hey. Don't mention the past." He hushes you. "We are talking about your heart break here... not mine that's been years ago."
You giggle at his reaction. "Fine..." you then grab his beer and drink from it. "But just one question.."
"Hmm?"
"Why haven't you dated again after....you know who...?"
"Well... I don't know... I guess... I just haven't found the girl for me yet..."
"Why? Are your standards that high?"
He takes back the beer from your hand. "I'm not like that... I go with my feelings... not like you who goes nuts when you see men with strong arms and built."
"Well," you steal his beer again and drink from it. "I find those traits sexy...how can I resist?"
"Yeah right." He takes his beer again. "Will you stop drinking mine? Just grab one from the cooler... I bought enough for the two of us..."
"But I like yours..." you take it again from him after he just took a sip. "We can always share... we are friends..." You drink the last chug. "Why? Does it bother you?"
"It doesn't. I just thought you'd be the type of person that would be concious about drinking at the same cup or whatever..."
You wipe your mouth with your hand as you put the empty can on the side. "What do you mean?"
"You know... I hear girls at Uni talk about indirect kisses so..."
"Ahh... I see..." you giggle. "How funny... they get so excited by those..."
"You don't?"
"Of course not! It's not like it is a kiss." You roll your eyes. "Making out for sure...is much more exciting..."
"Right." Seungcheol gets up to take another can of beer from the cooler. "Do you want one or you still want to share with me?" He asks as he opens the cooler.
"Grab two... but still we'll share." You say smiling
He shakes head and grab two different kinds. "You are really something..."
***
After a few more drinks and chitchat about your exes, you two finally decided to lay down and watch the stars above you.
With minimal light around you and Seungcheol turning off the lights in the house, just leaving the kitchen lights on where you two will enter back later, the sky is more brighter and clearer in your view.
"Thanks for inviting me here at your family's vacation house..."
"No problem... besides, mom suggested me to bring you here... she said you need this."
"Your mom is so sweet."
"She is... and its a plus because she likes you..."
"Really?"
"Yeah, she always wanted a daughter and I guess....you fit what she dreamed off having..."
"Aww... but...it is a bit sad..."
"Sad? Why?"
You turn over to your side, facing Seungcheol. "Coz I'm not the typical good daughter... and I don't want to disappoint her..."
"Typical good daughter?" He repeats, stunned by your word choice. "You are a good person..."
"Am I?" You laugh and lay down at your back again.
"Yeah... just a little freaky..."
"Freaky?!" You repeat, whipping your head to him. "What do you mean by that?"
"Don't act like you are not..." he smirks, "I've seen you do PDA with your ex."
"And...?" You toss to your side again but this time closer to Seungcheol. "Are you saying I'm freaky because I like to cuddle and touch my man?" You raise your brow at him.
"Don't get insulted. I didn't meant it as a bad way...." he then looks back at you, smiling. "I like freaky to you know... we all have our... kinks..."
"Really? Define... what's freaky for you? What are your kinks?"
"Okay... don't look at me like that..." he laughs, "I don't mean THAT kink... I don't do fifty shades of grey freaky you know..."
"Then... what are the things you like?"
"You really want to know?"
"Of course... coz my freaky may be different from your freaky..." you are grinning
"Hmmm..." he hums, thinking if he should tell you. "Isn't it a bit dangerous to be on a topic like this...?" He asks. Then his eyes starts scanning you from your face to your chest area which is very exposed and in his face right now.
You smirk as you eye him glancing at your cleavage. "Cheolie... are you getting seduced by my boobs right now?" You tease
"How can I not?" He looks away but the corner of his lips is curved into a smile. "You're wearing a verly low V neck shirt right now..."
You giggle at his remarks and then lean in to give your friend a kiss on the cheek which surprised him.
"Why did you kiss me?"
"Nothing... because you are so cute." You say before going back to your original position.
"Me? Cute?" He pouts, "Y/N I just talked about looking at your boobs and you find it cute?"
"I do!" You answer
"You're weird."
"Oh yeah... J am freaky..." you say, laughing.
"You are..." he adds
The two of you suddenly became quiet. The only thing you could hear now is the crackling of the woods in the bon fire and the sound of the breeze and the trees dancing.
"It's getting a bit chilly now..." Seungcheol breaks the silence. "Should we go inside now?"
"No... not yet..." you answer. "I need to do something..."
"Do what--"
Before he could even finish, you already got up and crawled on top of him
"Y/N, what are you doing?"
You move your pelvis, lower than where you are. You are trying to find the perfect spot on top of him.
"Ughh..." he breathes out as you placed your clothed core right on top of his erection. "Y/N...."
"Cheolie... Do you want to make out with me?"
"What??"
You slide your hands from his abdomen to his chest. "We're friends right...?"
"Y/N...." he grabs both your wrists. "I don't think this is a good idea..."
"Please...?" You move your hips, slightly rubbing your core to his bulge and causing him to hiss a curse under his breathe. "You can touch me if you want... I don't mind..."
"You are drunk..."
"No, I'm not..." you frown. "If I'm drunk....I won't be asking for your consent..."
"This is wrong... what you want is not right..."
"I know."
He gets up whilst you are still on hip. "And you still want to?"
You nod.
"Are you trying to use me? As rebound sex?" He chuckles
"I was not suggesting sex yet... but..." you put your arms around his neck and then move your body closer to his, "if you are okay with having sex... I'm game..." you say the few words words in a very seducing manner.
"Why me?"
"Why not?"
He laughs at how serious you are. "You are crazy, Y/N..."
"I know..." you once again rub your clothed core on his erection. Basically dry humping him. "Please...?" Your voice sounded more breathy.
"Damn it." He mumbles as the friction between you two makes him more hard.
"Here." You grab his hand and place it over your boob. "You like my boobs right...?" Then you guide his hand by rubbing his palm over and then squeezing your boob with his hand. "Feel it..." you whisper while letting his thumb feel your hardened nipple through your shirt.
"Fuck, Y/N... you are insane..." he throws his head back, holding on to not crack a smile. He is enjoying your needy side.
"C'mon Cheolie... you are making me wait for too long... do you want to or not?" While you on the other hand is being impatient.
"If I say yes," he says "What happens after we fuck?"
"We can decide after..."
"What if... I want to do it again..."
"Then let's do it again."
He's brows scrunches, "you are okay to with that?"
"Yes..."
"Even though... We are not dating?"
"Seungcheol..." you lean in a kiss him on the cheek again. "Like what we talked about... I am a little freaky... and besides you're my friend..."
"So....we're going to be.... fuck buddies?"
"If you want to..."
"No strings attached? Just... sex?"
"Yes... if I'm horny... I'll call you... and if you are horny and need me... then, call me and I'm willing to fuck you or suck you... anywhere... anytime..."
Shaking his head laughing, "Fucking hell Y/N... you are naughty..."
You roll your eyes. "Yeah, yeah... I know... so now what? Do you want to fuck with me or not? Give me an answer now coz if your not going to... I'll just go to bed..."
"You are very impatient, you know that?" He says smirking whilst his brows is furrowed. He looks amused. "I just want to make sure..." then he places his hand on your waist, sliding them under the hem of your shirt. "You are sure with this... since... we have alcohol in our system..."
"Right..." then as a needy and impatient as you are, you lean in already and started kissing Seungcheol on the lips.
The kiss surprisingly didn't start sloppy or awkward. It just went smoothly and very... arousing.
He is moaning already into the kiss. That's how good it makes him feel already.
"See.... you want it too..." you tease, smiling pulling away and looking at his turned on face.
"Who said I didn't want to?" He then carries you off him and carefully puts you back down the mat. "I wanted to wreck you since this morning when I first saw you wearing this revealing top..." his hand glides up from your tummy to your neck, right under your shirt. The motion lifted your shirt up exposing the lower part of your tits. "Fuck!" He hisses. "Your body is so fucking insane." He lowers his head and starts nibbling your skin from your belly buttom to your underboob.
"Ahh..." you inhale sharply when he sucked your skin and making sure he's leaving a mark. "Are you happy I didn't wear any bra today?" You ask
"The fuck I am." He goes to fully take off your top and start sucking and squeezing both alternately.
You moan at every suck, lick and flick he does. "Oh fuck... yes..." your hips dance every time his tongue touches your nipple.
"You're sensitive. You really like this huh?" He looks up at you while his tongue continues to pleasure you.
You nod your head, smiling while biting your lips.
"Fuck!" You throw your head back the second you felt him cup you down there. And since you're just wearing your black leggings, you could really feel his finger rubbing you there. "Ngggaaaahh..." you breathing heavy
"You sound so sexy...." he hums right st your ears as he watches you react to his strokes.
"You're teasing me too much..." you say
"Do I?" He chuckles
"Let me do the same!"
You are getting competitive now. You don't want to loose even though there is no game. You just know he's enjoying you moan just with just his little touches and licks. But you want him to whimper like you or more.
"Let me show you what I can do for you..." you push him away and then ride him on top again. "It's unfair that I'm the only one moaning in this session...." you move your hands quickly, pushing his jogging pants and his boxers down at the same time. "Dang..." your eyes widened as you see how long and thich he is. "You're hiding this from me?" You gently touch his wet tip.
"I'm not... technically hiding how big I am..." he answers before taking his shirt off. "You know I am big."
"Wow! You are one cocky mother fucker!" You laugh slapping his abs. "Let's see how cocky you'd still be after I make you come..."
"Bring it on." He says, rubbing his palm to your tits. "I've always wanted to know how your mouth feels on my dick..."
"Really? I'm flattered..." leaning in for a sweeet smooch on his lips. "Seems like... you've been having dirty thoughts about me for a while now..."
"I do..." he answers honestly, gazing straight into your eyes as your faces are just inches away. "I've been a bad friend..."
You kiss the corner of his lips. "It's fine.... I like bad boys..." you whisper sensually before you wrap your hands completely around his length.
You start slowly, pumping him while your eyes are glued to his. You want to see his face, his expression change while you squeeze him. You want to see him melt under your touch.
"Y/N... fuck!" He's breathing goes hectic as you now start to lick him. You are teasing him the way he teased you. "Ahh!" He growls when swirl your tongue on the tip.
Now, you begin to take him all in. Your whole mouth wrapped around his length. You are drooling at how big he is in your mouth but its worth it. His moaning and whimpers are all music to your ears.
"I think I'm going...t-to explode... fucking hell Y/N!"
You give him a final lick from buttom to top before giving him sensual kisses on his abdomen and then to his pecks.
"Do you want to explode inside of me?"
Those words pumped his adrenaline even more. You know it did coz his dick got flexes and got more harder than what it is. He even got up as quickly as he can and take you in for a kiss before he warns you and says, "Now, let me fuck you real good... raw and hard."
#yuyu1024#seventeen imagines#seventeen smut#seventeen fanfic#seventeen seungcheol#svt smut#svt fanfic#svt imagines#scoups x you#scoups x reader#scoups fanfic#scoups x y/n#seungcheol x y/n#seungcheol fanfic#seungcheol x reader#kpop fanfiction#kpop smut#seungcheol smut#seungcheol svt#scoups smut#svt x reader#svt x y/n#smut writing
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Behind the Scenes (04/05)
Behind the Acceptance
pairing: actor!aemond × fem!reader
summary: there are new changes for you and Aemond, he wants to rectify himself for past mistakes and you get used to your new life with the father of your son present.
word counter: 10.2K (consider it as a christmas gift, love you all❤)
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I'M SO SORRY!
i know the wait has been too much and you don't know how sorry i am. i experienced stress during my last week of uni before leaving for vacation and i got a new job, which consumes my time and i couldn't edit or do any writing, but i managed to find small times to write and that's why it's taken me so long. i appreciate your understanding, really🥺
I would like to wish you all merry christmas and a happy new year, my best wishes to all of you and also to your families, have a great time and God bless you all beautiful people, you are amazing and truly thank you for so much🥰
now yes, enjoy!
warnings: aemond dad melting our hearts and that's it:)

When Aemond told you to please go back to work and stop running away so that the two of you could face all this together, you didn't quite understand what he meant by 'go back to work'.
However, the next morning after waking up and starting to prepare breakfast for Aenar, you received an unexpected call that answered your question.
It's an unknown number so you accept the call with some caution.
"Y/N speaking? This is Michelle Watson, from the Warner Bros studio production department," she says and your heart jumps.
"Hello?"
You speak on the other end of the line, holding your phone to your ear.
It's HBO, who Aemond is working with right now and where you left your job thrown after unexpectedly meeting him again.
Nerves soon set in and you hold your breath, already feeling ashamed for leaving the shooting set like that without saying anything to anyone and creating a complete circus the moment Aemond called your name in the trailer in front of everyone.
"Yes, she speaks," you reply nervously.
"We want to inform you that despite what has happened, we understand it and the circumstances that led you to leave unexpectedly during your working hours," she tells you in a soft and formal voice, "And we will expect you tomorrow without any problem to resume work."
You frown completely, hesitate a little and blink several times in disbelief, not quite understanding.
"I'm sorry… what do you mean by resuming work?" you ask, barely able to contain your own surprise and disbelief.
"Some conversations took place," she explains, "Mr. Targaryen was quite insistent on convincing the production team to reconsider your situation. He advocated on your behalf, explained the circumstances and your entire track record as an excellent professional makeup artist so that you could continue to work with us."
With your lips parted and your eyes wide open, you are speechless for a moment, staring at a spot in your living room with your heart pounding, definitely not expecting to hear any of this after everything that has happened on this day.
You didn't even expect Aemond to decide to do this for you after everything that happened with him and Criston.
And just when you were starting to worry about how you were going to pay the rent for this apartment and even started to make a schedule in your mind to go get a job somewhere else tomorrow or even today.
"So if there's no problem and everything is fine with you, we'll expect you tomorrow at 7:00 A.M."
Completely speechless.
You can't even control your own heart rate.
But in spite of that, you can't help but feel a huge relief run through your entire body, where you still feel overwhelmed by the generosity and gesture of trust they are offering you, but you definitely feel completely relieved and grateful.
"Yes, yes, of course," you hasten to say, trying to control your emotions, "I'll be there. Thank you so much."
They give you a few more details, you ask few more questions and finally end the call, which leaves you with mixed emotions as you silently contemplate that you still have this new possibility of a better life for you and Aenar.
But you also think about Aemond.
And you will also wait to see how Aemond's integration into your son's little life will be now.
You really appreciate this gesture, you know that only he can do something like this with his influence and connections.
And in fact it gives you the confidence that he will keep his word that no one else will interfere in your and Aenar's life, only the two of you will make the decisions.
Arriving at the recording set, you leave Aenar in the nursery and then you enter the corridors of the whole big production, which is buzzing with its usual atmosphere with its twinkling lights, technical equipment with the huge cameras, microphones and all the sets ready.
You honestly feel nervous knowing that tomorrow you and Aemond will be working in the same place again, like in the old days.
But that's why you try to be as prepared as possible and you won't let all kinds of personal matters interfere with your work.
And once you arrive, you take a moment, take a deep breath and push open the door, where that familiar atmosphere once again envelops you.
You don't even know why but your heart is pounding as you walk down the halls and every step leads you to your area, the makeup and wardrobe trailer.
You assume it's out of shame after what happened yesterday.
Unfortunately your entrance doesn't go unnoticed and as you close the door behind you as you walk just a little into the trailer, some curious faces turn to see you, including Jess, who stops her usual routine and rushes over to you, her eyes wide with surprise.
You hug her back gently, feeling relieved and less tense by the warm welcome from Jess who, even though the two of you don't know each other very well, she actually seems like a very nice person and her personality shows you that.
"Ah Y/N, what a relief to see you again!"
She exclaims with her tone full of joy.
"God, I thought you wouldn't come back," she says as she hugs you excitedly, providing you with some comfort.
"I'm so sorry about yesterday," you say with a regretful gesture and you both break the hug, "I shouldn't have left like that and you don't know how embarrassed I feel. I'm really sorry."
"Oh no, don't worry about it," she assures you instantly, making a nonchalant gesture, "That's all in the past. The important thing is that you're back and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it," she comforts you with a small smile, "We have a lot of work to do today and we need to get you up to speed right away."
Jess, full of energy, ushers you further into the trailer while you greet your other co-workers. Then she explains the day's itinerary precisely, pointing out schedules, wardrobe changes and other important details.
All the while you nod, thanking her for her guidance and trying to keep up. In the midst of all the preparations, the huge door opens again and Aemond is now the one who makes his presence known.
Your gaze meets his and you see the obvious and unexpected surprise in his eyes at seeing you again, but there's not much reaction from either of you as instantly the makeup artists call him over and guide him to start prepping him for today's filming scenes.
And Jess also takes your arm, guiding you to the back of the trailer where the dressing rooms are located explaining what you will be doing, forcing you to look away from him.
And you can only feel Aemond's gaze on you until he loses sight of you.
Jess continues to explain to you, but you can't help but think and wonder certain things, like if everyone here, even Jess, knows about you and Aemond... what you once were and that you have a child together.
The behavior of both of you yesterday was very obvious, that's what you would think if you were an expectant one, so surely there must be some speculation.
And at that moment you remind yourself that your priority right now is your work and that the personal should be kept out of your work environment, so you shouldn't even think about it.
Finally you focus on following Jess's directions, putting aside distractions and preparing for the day.
Jess leaves you alone to take care of her own work and you start with yours, where you spend about an hour still in the back of the trailer, where you check and prepare the costumes that already have to be ready for the scenes that will be filmed soon.
When in the middle of everything, you hear some footsteps approaching behind you and thinking it must be one of the other actors or one of your co-workers, you turn around and the first thing you notice is that silver hair.
Aemond enters this section of the trailer a little unsure, without saying anything, while you also watch him without saying anything.
He is ready to record his scenes with that scar on the left side of his face that his character has and he only lacks the costume.
Until finally he speaks first.
You knew that having a conversation with him again would happen soon, so you're not surprised.
But for a moment there is a tense silence and a slight nervousness and insecurity on the part of both of them, where a clash of emotions is reflected in each other's gazes.
"Hey," he says in a soft, low voice, taking a couple of steps towards you.
You try to smile a little in his direction, not knowing exactly what to say or what to do.
"Hey," you wave back.
There is an awkward pause before Aemond again takes the initiative, taking a few cautious and slow steps towards you.
You bite your lips and lower your gaze for a moment, as he puts a hand to the back of his neck and looks so insecure and nervous standing there, surprising you a bit, as that behavior in him is unusual.
He usually always has that confident attitude in everything he says and does.
"I'm glad you're back," he admits to you, his low tone full of sincerity, "It's good to see you around again."
His words and that friendly gesture take you a bit by surprise, and although you still feel overwhelmed by the unexpected situation, you appreciate the way he is leading in handling all of this to start working together for Aenar's well-being, leaving past tensions behind.
"Thank you," you reply, feeling that sense of relief in your chest again, "Oh, hum… and thank you for talking to production so I could come back," you say a little shyly but gratefully, "You didn't have to."
He lets out a scoff in a nonchalant and also absurd gesture, frowning slightly his nose and forehead.
"Please, it was the least I could do," he tells you softly and with a warm tone, "Besides, it was nothing. I was just afraid you'd decide not to come back."
You hum in understanding.
"I thought about that," you confess to him, lowering your gaze for a moment, "But things were going to be easier for both of us with Aenar if I came back here," you explain, "Still, it was a very kind gesture of you."
Aemond nods, his gaze conveying a mixture of emotions that reflect both relief to see you back here, understanding, and also regret for the past that still haunts him. But he doesn't let those thoughts invade him too much at that moment.
Again there is silence in between for a few seconds, when he speaks again.
"How is Aenar?" he asks in a voice charged with a mixture of happiness, nostalgia and longing for his son.
"He's fine," you say in a soft voice, "He's in the studio nursery. Mary takes very good care of him," you add, wanting to reassure him that his son is being properly cared for.
He nods slowly, humming in response, trying to hide the intensity of his emotions in his gaze.
"That's good, I'm glad to hear that," he replies, vulnerability in his tone and gaze.
The air between the two of you still lingers, charged with emotions that neither of you dares to express openly. However, taking advantage of the conversation, Aemond decides to propose something.
He just met him yesterday and can't wait to see him again, to be in his company.
Yesterday's hours were simply not enough. And knowing that his son is well brings him relief and a feeling he hasn't experienced before since he found out he is a father.
"If you want, I can pay for a trusted babysitter for him," he offers and this gets your full attention, "I'm just saying… so you don't always have to bring him with you to work," he says with a hesitation, his tone betraying his insecurity about his proposal.
You remain silent for a moment, not knowing what exactly to say, in fact processing the unexpected offer. And Aemond can't help but feel even more unnerved by your silence.
"I-I… I don't know," you murmur, hesitant.
This nursery in the set is at least in the same place as you and that gives you relief that whatever happens, you can rush to him right away.
The idea of a babysitter strikes you as a mixture of relief and concern.
In the morning you'd have more time getting ready to come to work and it wouldn't be as much of a burden on you, yet you've never left someone to take care of Aenar while you're away.
But leaving him at home and coming all the way here to work, that causes you hesitation, besides the fact that you have to know the person who will take care of your child perfectly, as well as have confidence in her, above all.
"Only if that makes you feel more comfortable," Aemond adds softly, "But if that's not what you want, that's fine."
You bite your lips, feeling uneasy at the thought of someone else caring for your son and having him away when you're working.
"And you know someone who might be trustworthy?" you ask attentively and still with hesitation in your gaze.
"Yes," he tells you immediately, softly, "Rhaenyra has an army of babysitters to take care of my younger nephews. I can ask her for help with that and I know she'll say yes," he assures you.
"And they are professional babysitters?"
"Yeah, yeah, Nyra is also very careful with the selection and the babysitters she has hired have years of experience and so far several of them have worked with her for a few years now."
And after a moment's reflection, you agree.
And as convincing as the information is, still a mixture of worry and resignation envelopes your body.
But you knew that sooner or later you would have to face the situation of balancing your job with the responsibility of caring for your little one, accepting the idea that you won't always be able to have him with you.
"All right," you nod to him, "But I'd like to do some interviews first."
"Yeah, of course. I'll take care of that, don't worry," he says softly, nodding to you and you nod back.
"Thank you, Aemond."
"You don't have to thank me, Y/N, it's for our son. And if he or you need anything, please just let me know."
Seeing Aemond so willing to be a present father and his desire to be involved in his son's life, to some extent relieves you and surprises you a little, clearly because of what happened at first when you found out you were pregnant.
But so far… he has really shown you that he wants to be present and without having Criston and all his team around anymore.
The slight tension in the air is felt again as you and he continue to navigate the terrain of this new dynamic, which feels a little weird and you feel very nervous, though you don't even know why, while he at all times seems unsure.
And in an attempt to diffuse the tension, now you're the one who speaks first.
"Okay," you nod, "And if you…" you try to say a little nervously and with some caution and insecurity, "If you want to go see Aenar at the nursery or even at the apartment, you can," you assure him with a soft tone, "I never said you couldn't visit him and I don't plan to take that right away from you."
Vulnerability is reflected both in your words and in Aemond's expression, who with his soft face and with his gaze full of various emotions, places a small gentle smile on his lips.
"I'd love that."
Your words mean more to him than you probably realize. That sincere gesture of openness on your part, Aemond deeply appreciates.
Just as he appreciates that the conversation has reached a level of understanding and cooperation that neither of you had anticipated, but that you definitely appreciate. It doesn't end there yet, though.
"Can I ask you something?"
You nod, with no problem.
"Sure."
"What will you be leaving work on when your shift is over with Aenar?" he tells you interested and attentive.
"Um… well, yesterday I took the bus," you explain, considering that just yesterday was supposedly your first day, "And I had already planned that if I finished late, I'd take an Uber. Like now in the morning I was running a little late and took an Uber," you reply, trying to explain your transportation routine.
In fact there is nothing wrong with moving this way, many people do it, besides you don't have many options.
But that's what Aemond doesn't want, he wants to make your life a little easier, especially since Aenar lives with you and he doesn't want to risk something bad happening to both of you one day with public transport.
"Well, if you want, I can take the two of you," he also offers without hesitation, "Or if it seems too much, I can ask my driver to pick you up and take you wherever you need to go, without problem," he assures you, "I just don't want you to move that way with Aenar or by yourself."
This new unexpected offer from Aemond also surprises you, that you even think about turning him down, telling him it's not necessary.
Mostly you see it from Aenar's safety side.
But his concern is genuine and also you know that then moving you will start to be a problem.
You know you can't afford Uber every day, the fares aren't exactly cheap and there are other needs you have to take care of, besides taking the bus late could be dangerous.
"Well…" you look at him hesitantly and a little embarrassed, "You won't have a problem with that?"
"No, of course not," he answers you instantly.
You nod in his direction, grateful for his consideration.
"Yes, it's fine and seriously thank you for this too," you can't help but say, "Sometimes transport is complicated."
"Don't worry, it's fine."
He is about to say something else when a third voice interrupts him, entering the same space as you.
"Yeah, I know, sorry, I'm already on it," he assures her instantly.
"Aemond, are you ready now?"
Enters one of your co-workers, watching him intently and instantly with concern at the sight of him still in his civilian clothes.
"For God's sake, why aren't you dressed yet? Your scene is going to shoot in less than fifteen minutes!"
"I'll be back in ten minutes. Hurry up, please," the worried girl says and hurries away.
You instantly at that moment decide that the two of you can talk later and hand him his clothes from the scene he'll be shooting soon and he thanks you, heading for one of the small dressing rooms quickly.
When he finishes putting on his clothes, you quickly help him look perfect for filming the scene.
"I'll be seeing you," he tells you before leaving and you nod.
"Sure."
And from that moment on, over the next few days, everything changes as much for Aemond as it does for you.
He kept his word to drive you and Aenar back home every time your shift ended. And if he was still filming scenes, he would send his driver to take you instead of him, also to bring you in the mornings.
The relationship is cordial and collaborative and while there is no romantic reconciliation involved, there is a determination to build a more stable and secure future for Aenar, as well as prioritizing his well-being above all else.
At work, too, the dynamic between the two of you changes completely. Communication is professional, as it should be, but in every interaction there is a complicity that seems to have evolved.
There is a quiet understanding, a new focus on cooperation and mutual respect that is taking shape.
Also Aemond kept his word to hire a fully trusted babysitter and while he took care of that, sometimes you found him in the nursery with Aenar, keeping him company and playing with him.
At first this caused you some noise and also confusion, since Aemond is under the public eye spending quality time with his son and doesn't bother to hide it, so you wondered if already everyone working here, also Aemond's co-workers, knows that he has a son with you.
Again that sight couldn't help but make you smile with a certain nostalgic look, watching the interaction of those two silver-haired heads in their own world.
But it made you feel happy to see your little boy laughing and playing with his father.
And if so, you doubt that it will come out soon, because working in this production of whatever position, there is a confidentiality contract for everything, even for the personal life of the actors.
But when the shooting of this show is over, everyone is probably going to know about it. Although it seems that Aemond doesn't even think about it and doesn't really care.
So you decide not to ask him anything about it and how Criston and his whole team is going to take it.
You honestly don't know what Aemond has done with him, what they have talked about and what exactly happened for him to leave you and Aenar alone.
And you don't want to know. You've had enough of him and everything he did to you. And fortunately you live in peace and feel safe to have Aemond on your side this time.
And before you can say anything, Aemond steps forward with a soft little smile.
When one day on your day off you find yourself making dinner while Aenar watches his favorite cartoon in the living room and you supervise him occasionally from where you are, there's a knock at the door.
You're traumatized with the thought that maybe it's Criston and something bad is going to happen, but when you open the door you find Aemond with a woman by his side.
"Hey."
"Hi," you try to smile, a little confused.
"Are you busy? I-I didn't know and thought I'd just come over," he says, "And I'd let you know but I don't have your number or-or something."
"No, no, it's fine, I'm just making dinner," you hasten to say.
"I came because I wanted to introduce you to Elinda Massey," he tells you, pointing to the woman next to him and she looks at you with a warm smile, "One of the babysitters Rhaenyra recommended to me to take care of Aenar."
"Oh," you nod, now understanding.
You watch Elinda and she radiates warmth and assurance in her gaze, instantly feeling comfortable with her presence.
"It's nice to meet you, Elinda," you say with a small smile, extending your hand to her.
"Same to you, Y/N," she replies, shaking his hand with yours, "Aemond has told me so much about you and Aenar. I'm very excited to meet him as well."
Aemond beside her nods, his expression calm.
"Elinda is professional and very experienced. I wanted to introduce you to her and thought maybe we could do a little interview together, just to get to know her and see how she gets along with Aenar."
You instantly nod again.
"Oh yeah, yeah, sure, come on in," you step aside, allowing them to pass, "Aenar is watching his favorite cartoon," you say as you close the door behind you.
Aemond instantly walks towards him, making a sound of surprise, catching his attention and Aenar instantly notices him, smiling big at the sight of him, his huge blue eyes lighting up and reaching out his little arms towards him.
Both you and Aemond know Elinda better and you realize that she is a woman who has all the necessary experience and training. Besides the fact that when she approaches Aenar, he instantly laughs and plays with her.
Aemond laughs and takes him in his arms, starting to leave a bunch of kisses on his huge chubby cheeks, making him laugh as he holds him against his chest and speaks to him in a honeyed tone.
And you again can't help but smile as you watch the scene.
There is still that feeling of worry in you knowing that you will have to leave Aenar in someone else's care.
But Elinda shows you so much in so few hours, she tells you about her experience, shows you letters of recommendation, first aid certificates, as well as other care and Aenar has fun with her.
Aemond stays a few more moments in Aenar's company, playing games and watching the cartoons he likes, while you finish dinner and cleaning the kitchen.
The three of you establish a work schedule for her, as well as you tell her some recommendations and observations regarding Aenar.
And once everything is ready and clarified, she leaves and Aemond tells you that he has already taken care of all the payment details with her.
Every now and then you hear how Aemond asks him questions in a honeyed tone and repeats the same expressions he does when he sees his favorite character on TV, and then both start laughing.
Those sounds, the sound of your son's laughter and also Aemond's expressions, unconsciously make you smile and you watch from the kitchen as Aemond makes funny gestures or faces to make him laugh and attacks him with a lot of kisses all over his face or tickles.
Then you walk him to the door once he is ready to leave.
And there the two of them make themselves comfortable on the couch, eventually Aenar falls asleep on Aemond's lap, his back and head against his chest. He cautiously gets up holding him gently and puts him to sleep, while you thank him.
"Oh, right, I almost forgot," he says stopping in front of the door and turns to you, "This is for you."
You see him take his wallet from his back pocket and inside it, he pulls out what appears to be a black card and holds it out to you. This catches your attention and also confuses you, taking the card with that confusion, not understanding.
And only when you take a good look at it in your hands do you realize that it is a bank card.
"It's yours."
He says and you frown more, then raise your gaze to him asking for an explanation.
"I can only send money to it, I don't have direct access. You'll get the PIN from the bank, tomorrow after the shoot, I'll take you to activate it," he tells you, "You know, it's in case you need money to buy something for Aenar or for you, whatever you need."
Then when you fully understand the explanation and the purpose of this, you start to panic.
"Aemond—
You try to say feeling the lump in your throat and your heart starting to pound.
"I know I didn't tell you about this, but please, I want to do it," he interrupts you with a pleading tone so you won't reject him or reproach him about it, "Besides, this is necessary. Sometimes I will have to travel to other cities for shootings or events and I won't be able to see you or him and I want to make sure you don't lack anything. So just accept it, please."
"But—
"Please," he insists.
This really seems too much to you and you have an idea of the amount of money the card must already have. And no… in spite of everything, you don't want to accept this and feel that you are taking advantage of him.
You watch him still with hesitation and worry on your face, tension hanging in the air as you and he stand in complete silence, saying nothing for a few seconds.
You look back down at the card in your hands and Aemond follows your gaze, both of you standing face to face.
And it just seems that Aemond reads your thoughts by the hesitation and insecurity on your face.
"If you don't want to use it to also buy things for yourself, use it just to buy Aenar whatever he needs," he tells you softly, "After all, I was going to do this sooner or later, wasn't I? It's my responsibility to make sure he doesn't lack anything and that's what I'm going to do."
You let out a long breath, beginning to feel less of the weight of the luxurious and clearly exclusive black card in your hands, with his words beginning to soften your chest at the mention of Aenar.
"Fine," you mutter finally, letting out a sigh and raising your gaze to him, "B-but I'll only use it for things that Ae-
This gesture from Aemond is a clear sign of concern and responsibility he feels towards you and his son. And you truly feel that genuine desire that he wants to contribute for the welfare of both of you.
You try to clarify but he quickly speaks up.
"Yeah, okay," he nods at you, "Don't worry. Just… use it."
You nod again.
"Thank you, Aemond."
A slight flicker of concern appears in his gaze and he quickly tries to be able to struggle to find the right words to be able to explain himself so you don't misunderstand him.
"I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to—
"No, no, I don't think so," you tell him softly, with understanding, "This…" you look back down at the card in your hands and let out a sigh, "This is actually necessary and very helpful…. you really don't know how much I appreciated it."
He nods, his expression relieving a bit as he sees your behavior and also as you accept his support.
"Easy, it's okay," he assures you in a soft murmur.
"Also…" he starts to say with some nervousness but definitely more confident, "I wanted to ask you if you have social security for Aenar and you," he says with a serene expression, looking directly at you.
Again silence settles between the two of you but the air is different, calmer and less tense, feeling the mutual understanding.
And Aemond, after the two of you say nothing for another long few seconds, thinks it best to talk at this point about another plan he has in mind.
This also immediately catches your attention and you watch him warily, tilting your head to one side and starting to get an incredulous look on your face.
"You're not seriously thinking that—
"Y/N, please," he interrupts you, "This is no problem for me, really," he insists, "I just need to know."
"But—
"This is also important and I can pay for it."
"But it's a lot of money and I don't think—
"Do you really think I'll let you and Aenar go through life without being covered?" he asks you incredulously, "I can handle this. I really can."
His words continue to reflect that genuine commitment and you, despite your concern, feel something warm invade your chest, especially the gentle and willing way he is looking at you.
After all that has happened, seeing Aemond so determined to contribute to your son's well-being gives you a new hope and opportunity for Aenar's future.
The costs are too much, nothing you could really afford, not even for Aenar, since your salary was not much and had to cover other needs. You couldn't even afford it on your current salary.
You have always worked very hard to try to give Aenar everything he needs. Among them, paying for a social insurance for him, in case of anything.
But you could never afford it.
And that suddenly Aemond is offering it to you so easily, clearly because he can afford it, you feel somewhat overwhelmed and also feel that it is too much.
"And you're completely—
"Yes, I am," he interrupts you again, being very clear and honest with you, "This won't be any trouble, really," he assures you.
You want to tell him thank you, but the words get stuck in your throat. However, Aemond sees the gratitude is visible in your gaze, along with your concern and how you find yourself overthinking it.
So he just gives you a look of understanding and total reassurance.
"I'll be leaving. You need to rest. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
You let out a long breath, bite your lips and nod in his direction.
"Okay."
"Good night," he says softly as he opens the apartment door again.
"Good night. Drive safe."

Lately the days have been more… peaceful.
But as the days progressed, you realized that it was useless to feel that way because when you returned to the apartment, everything was absolutely fine. And also everything is easier when you transport yourself with Aemond's help or with the help of his driver.
Having Elinda as a babysitter, your mornings are easier and she does an excellent job with Aenar, so you have nothing to worry about.
At first you would leave home feeling horrible and your whole body tense, always alert to your phone and exaggeratedly paranoid.
Aemond also one day told you the same thing, that lately things have been quiet, even the recordings have not been heavy for him compared to other days or other jobs.
And for the same reason that he is busy filming, he hasn't attended any events or interviews, that happens rather after he finishes filming a new show or movie and there is still time left for that.
Aemond drives in silence and the soft background music on low volume fills the entire interior of the car while you watch the city through the windows and Aenar sleeps secured in one of the back seats.
So on this one day and for one occasion only, Elinda had an important commitment that she couldn't postpone, so she didn't show up for work and you didn't have any problem, since you can bring Aenar to the nursery on the set.
And now it is Aemond who is driving them home after your shift ended almost at the same time he finished filming his scenes.
He and you haven't talked much during the whole drive, only about work, but even so the silence is comfortable and you can't wait to get home to cook a nice dinner.
The cityscape soon transforms into familiar and somewhat… careless streets, as you approach to your apartment.
He parks in front of your building and watches you.
You know this isn't a luxurious area and there's a lot of detail to look at, but it's what you can afford right now.
And that's just what Aemond thinks as he looks around the neighborhood, hating to leave you and Aenar here when he can get you a much better place. But he knows you'll say no.
"Will you stay here any longer?" he asks you softly, "I mean, will you continue to pay rent?"
"For now yes," you nod to him, "I'm saving up to move to a better place, to an apartment in a different area and that's close to work," you let him know, "It's just taking time because of my paycheck."
Aemond stares at you intently for a moment, thinking and pondering your words, with a thoughtful look on his face, while you make sure you have all your belongings with you before getting out of the car and carrying Aenar.
And just as he is about to speak, a familiar sound interrupts him and his son's crying is heard throughout the car.
You follow him too with all your things in hand, walking over to both of them.
You quickly turn to him to attend to him, trying to calm him down, while Aemond reacts and quickly gets out of the car to open the door to the back seats.
It takes him a little while to unfasten the seat belts, but once he's finished he takes him in his arms and whispers comforting words in his ear to make him stop crying.
"Shh, my little one," Aemond whispers, holding him against his chest and stroking his silver hair, "Hey, it's okay, it's okay," he murmurs, leaving a soft kiss on his forehead.
You move to his side and run one of your hands over his wet cheeks, watching you for a moment with teary blue eyes only to close them tightly and continue crying.
"Either he wants to sleep in his room or he's hungry," you say, stroking his face to try to calm him as well.
"He didn't eat?" he asks you attentively.
"Yes, Mary said yes."
"Then he wants to sleep," he says, trying to wipe the dried tears from his cheeks, "Come on upstairs, I'll take him," he tells you and you nod.
All the while Aemond tries to comfort him until they reach the door of your apartment, but when he lays him down in his crib, Aenar cries more and he carefully holds him in his arms again, trying to soothe him while you quickly stop in the kitchen and prepare a baby bottle, hoping it will help.
And when you hand it to Aemond, he stands gently pacing around the room holding Aenar with one arm while the other hand holds the baby ottle for him against his mouth, hoping it will soothe him and he will fall asleep.
You take the bottle and Aemond carefully lays him down to sleep in his crib, leaving a soft kiss on his forehead to finally let him rest.
Aenar eventually calms down as he drinks from the baby bottle and watches with his blue eyes Aemond above him, who is still gently walking him around the room.
And little by little, wrapped in the safety of Aemond's arms, he falls asleep.
He sits up and turns to you, where you both look at each other without saying anything for a moment, sharing a silent connection.
"Thank you," you whisper to him.
"Don't worry," he says back to you in the same way.
Together you leave Aenar's room without a sound and gently close the door.
That night Aemond drives to his apartment with a new thought in mind, one of which is to always provide a better life for you and Aenar.
That's why, without telling you anything and taking advantage of the fact that it's your day off, he manages to leave the recording set early, he tells you to accompany him to the mall to buy new clothes for Aenar and you accept without thinking about anything else.
During the ride, so far you haven't questioned him about anything and that relieves him, but when you finally pay attention to the streets he is driving through, that's when your confusion appears and Aemond is thankful that you are about to arrive at the real place he wants to take you.
"I don't think there's a shopping mall around here, Aemond," you tell him confused, watching the streets carefully.
You realize that he is actually driving through a private residential neighborhood, with the streets lined with luxurious homes or rather mansions that would catch anyone's attention and you are clearly no exception.
And remembering your locations, you can tell that this neighborhood belongs to the Visenya Hill area, the most exclusive and prestigious area of King's Landing.
"Aemond, where are we going?" you look at him completely confused and questioning.
"I want to show you something," he tells you without giving you any more detail, generating more confusion and despair in you.
"But you said we were going to the mall."
"I know, but I lied to you," he says with some regret and you frown, "If I told you I wanted to show you a house where you can live with Aenar, you wouldn't have come."
"What?"
You inquire in your completely incredulous, serious and questioning voice, watching him with your eyes wide open.
"Surely you're joking," you tell him absurdly, shaking in his direction and watching him completely intently and seriously, really wanting to believe this is a joke.
"No, I'm not," he says letting out a small laugh, watching you for a moment to turn his gaze back to the road.
"Aemond," you start trying to warn him, serious.
"We're here," he announces out of nowhere, alerting you more fully.
You watch with your lips parted and completely attentive at all the windows, as the car comes to a stop in front of an impressive house, whose high ceilings and elegant white columns stand out in the neighborhood.
The front garden with the green lawn, a beautiful fountain and flowering bushes only make it stand out more, besides the elegant entrance, its huge windows and the dimension of the whole house that makes you continue to stare at everything with your mouth open.
In comparison, Aemond looks at the house with a hopeful expression and feeling genuinely happy and excited. But at the same time, he is worried about your attitude and what you will tell him about all this.
At first you refuse to get out of the car, still incredulous and surprised, telling him this is crazy, but Aemond makes you get out and also gets Aenar down from the back seats, instantly on this rare occasion preferring your arms instead of his father's.
"Aemond," you try to say, worried and still unable to believe it.
"Easy. Come," he tells you completely unconcerned, leading you to the entrance of the house.
You observe everything, unable to help yourself, as there is even furniture and everything looks too expensive but too beautiful at the same time.
You watch as he holds the fucking key in his hand and opens the beautiful, gigantic door for you, without giving you a chance to say anything else.
And as you enter, the entire interior of the house spreads out in front of you, illuminated by the daylight filtering through the windows and highlighting every majestic detail of the property.
The simple entrance is large with a crystal chandelier above you hanging from the high ceiling, the living room is spacious and there is also a small decorative fountain. Further on there is another living room that you can observe from the spacious and eye-catching kitchen.
And the entire upstairs also completely grabs your attention, having three huge bedrooms, the master bedroom being the largest of them all, each with its own bathroom and closet.
The bathroom down here is ridiculously large for a bathroom. The pantry is also a ridiculously large room for a pantry.
The garden is lovely and has a swimming pool which, according to Aemond, can be automatically closed off for Aenar's security. There is a laundry and drying room as well.
"It's perfect, don't you think?"
Aemond tells you slightly excited as you walk down the stairs behind him, with Aenar in your arms and who also looks at everything around him with a twinkle in his eyes.
"Work is nearby, my apartment is nearby and Elinda has come to this area to work before, so it won't be a problem," he tells you with that little smile, turning to you, looking with that gleam of hope compared to you.
He clearly expects the same reaction from you and even having already seen the house, you let out a sigh and look at him with a serious and confused expression.
"Aemond, what do you think you're doing?"
"Well, it's for you," he tells you, pointing to everything around him, still not seeing how much this is costing you, "It's perfect for you and Aenar. And a chance for him to live and grow up in a nice, spacious, safe place."
You are speechless for a moment, feeling that heaviness in your chest and your heart pounding as you press your lips together and briefly observe everything around you again.
"Everything will be taken care of by me, you won't have to worry about anything," he assures you softly, "Aenar's room is big, the kitchen is big, there are two living rooms and..." he shrugs, "Like I told you, everything is close by."
"Tell me you haven't already bought all this," you say slightly concerned.
And then all emotion from Aemond slowly fades.
"But why? What is it that—
"Aemond, this is too much," you interrupt him incredulously, shock in your eyes, "How do you think I'm just going to accept this just like that?"
He steps closer, with the slight concern in his gaze, trying to convey calm, but his eye reflects the urgency of his purpose.
"Y/N, please. I only want what's best for you and Aenar. Besides, you said you're moving soon and—
"Yes but to an apartment, not a house that costs millions of dollars," you tell him absurdly.
"Yes, I know, but—" he bites his lips, nervous, "I wanted to do this. I wanted to give this to you and Aenar," he says insistent, "A safe place in a quiet neighborhood, where you can also have your space without having to worry anymore."
You shake your head.
"But—
"Look, just..." he tries to find the right words, trying to work on your willing attitude for not accepting this, "Consider it, yes?" he insist, "You don't have to make a decision right now, for now I just wanted to show you around, nothing more," he says calmly, though you know that behind that calmness is an obvious longing.
"But it's just that this is too much and... no," you look at him with slight concern, "I don't need to consider it because no matter how much I think about it, my answer is no."
"Aemond, this..." you begin to say with restrained sadness, hesitating, "This won't change the past. This won't make it so I can forgive you," you tell him resignedly, "This isn't about me and Aenar, it's about Aenar nothing else and her well being," you tell him in a broken voice, "But this... this house... it's too much."
"Y/N..." he says, taking a couple more steps towards you, wary, "Two years ago, I was the worst shitty boyfriend," he says with sadness and regret, "I had to support you, be there for you completely, I shouldn't have let Criston talk me into his plans, accept in the beginning to hide you and hide my responsibility."
He says as he looks nostalgic at Aenar in your arms.
"And now that you've given me this second chance, I just want to make things right....I want to do what I should have done in the beginning."
Aemond's expression, although he himself tries to remain expressionless, still feels as if he has been hit hard in the stomach when he hears your words.
And all illusion disappears, as well as his enthusiasm.
He resignedly steps back, leaving a space between you and him, not wanting to overwhelm you any more than he already has.
He thought this would be a good idea, that by the time the three of you were here, looking forward to the idea of a new home, you would understand and accept.
But there are still many open wounds from the past and he knows they cannot be healed with these sudden gestures.
"I know, it's just that I-I..." he tries to say with his voice laden with regret and deep remorse," I didn't expect this... a house or an apology to just fix things," he says sincerely and with disappointment, "I just wanted to give Aenar stability and offer you a safe place for the both of you, give you a better life."
Silence envelops you both, dense and charged with mixed emotions.
Aemond tries to find some sign on your face, wanting you to see his true intention, longing for some small indication of hope or acceptance.
And you feel the overwhelming weight of responsibility and emotions inside you. All of this is tempting, though your heart is still scarred by past pain and also distrust. And you are torn between caution and the opportunity to give Aenar the stability he deserves.
Aemond remains silent, respecting your space and your time to process the situation. But the indecision in you is all too obvious.
"Y/N, I promise you that all this is for Aenar and nothing else," he tells you seriously and sincerely, "I promise I won't try anything, except to take care of him and make sure he lacks nothing," he insists, "At least stay in this house until he grows up a little more and if you still think it's too much, we can find a smaller place," he proposes.
His words are left floating in the air, while you continue to think too hard. His proposal echoing in your mind, plunging you into a sea of thoughts, with indecision.
Aemond seems to have put his heart on the table, but your emotions continue to struggle between caution and hope, as you cannot ignore the possibility of offering Aenar a more secure and stable life, which is all you wish for him since you could not give him that at the beginning.
And it is also what Aemond desires, that is why he is so insistent and you see his true intention to give this to Aenar, without any other intentions in between.
But is it right to trust him again? What if Criston and his team try to intervene again? This time they would do it more easily.
Maybe it can be different this time.
You honestly feel like you're taking a big risk by agreeing. It's a big bet to open your life and Aenar's to this new opportunity, but you also see how he's striving to give you something better.
And that's exactly what has you questioning and wondering: should I give this a chance?
"All right," you finally say in a soft voice with a mixture of nervousness, "But only for Aenar."
Aemond looks at you with surprise and hope.
"Really?"
You nod, swallowing hard and Aemond lets out a long breath, visibly relieved and then, avoiding smiling big, takes the house key from his front pocket and holds it out to you, to which you take it a little confused.
"Don't you have to give it to the real estate agent?"
"Actually, I already bought it," he says with a nervous but innocent gesture at the same time, scratching the back of his neck, "Well, I haven't paid the whole amount, but I've paid most of it. So it's yours."
Seven fucking Hells.
You can't help but think as you close your eyes for a moment and let out a sigh, unable to believe it.
The new house soon began to have that warmth the moment you started settling in with Aenar. Every room radiates a sense of peace and comfort that you haven't experienced in a long time.
The move wasn't difficult at all, the only thing you had to transport from the old apartment with the help of Aemond and his driver was your clothes, Aenar's clothes, her toys and her crib, nothing else.
The house already had furniture, beds, decorations and even televisions already installed.
The high ceilings allow natural light to flood in, while the white walls set off the black and gray furniture and Aenar toys, creating a warm and cozy atmosphere.
Aemond builds Lego block forts together with him, buys him toy dragons, cars, stuffed animals and they both watch Aenar's favorite cartoon or movies, getting cozy on the shag carpet or on the couch.
Because Aemond's apartment is close by, his commitment is more accessible, so there is never a day that goes by that he doesn't visit Aenar.
Special moments between father and son are spent in the living room, where toys scattered on the floor become Aenar's playroom area.
Also some evenings the three of you have dinner together, where Aemond offers to feed Aenar and eventually the dining room fills with laughter and smiles as you focus on him.
The backyard also becomes a realm of adventure, where they both even plan picnics and invite you over.
They also both sometimes spend afternoons exploring with laughter and playing with the plastic cars on the lawn where Aenar imitates the sounds Aemond makes from a car.
The new house is filled with happy and warm moments, forming the perfect setting for Aenar to begin to grow up, having both of his parents looking after him.
The proximity of work and Aemond's apartment made the daily routine easier. The routes are short and convenient, allowing more time to enjoy time together.
And above all you definitely feel more at ease having Elinda taking care of Aenar while you are considerably closer to home from the set.
When one day at night, you had already received a message from Aemond telling you that he would be a little late to visit Aenar, as usual, and you replied that it was fine, even though tomorrow is your day off and you have no problem with sleeping late.
But the clock is almost half past eleven at night and you think he is not going to arrive, when just at that moment you hear the doorbell ring and you go to the door, checking from the IPad the cameras of a program that Aemond installed to record Aenar while he sleeps and also monitors in case of anything and so you can make sure he is okay.
And finally you open the door, watching Aemond carefully.
"I thought you weren't coming anymore," you tell him in a low, warm tone, but also worried.
Aemond nods, letting out a sigh.
"I finished later than I thought. It was a hard day," he tells you heavily.
You nod softly and understandingly, stepping aside to let him pass.
"Aenar is already asleep."
"Yes, that's what i thought," he says calmly, "But it doesn't matter, I won't wake him up, I just want to see him," he watches you with tired eye, "You should go to sleep too," he says as he places one of his hands gently on your shoulder, "I'll lock up and set the alarm when I leave."
Hesitation shows on your face for a moment, watching him intently and with a flash of concern.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, don't worry," he nods at you with a small soft smile, "Go get some rest, I'll take care of it."
"Fine, but anything tell me, no matter what it is, okay?"
"Okay."
With a soft nod, you both head up the stairs and down the hallway to the rooms, you wave goodbye to him before entering your room and he enters Aenar's room.
And once in your room, you cover yourself with your sheets and thinking that you would fall asleep the moment you were in the comfort of your bed, you suddenly stare at the ceiling for a long time unable to close your eyes and clearly unable to sleep.
He hasn't left yet, as you haven't heard that soft 'click' of the door or his footsteps in the hallway walking away.
You try to find sleep any way you can, but the thought that Aemond is still in the house is what keeps you awake.
And it's not because you don't trust him, on the contrary, you look at the time and feel remorseful and worried that he has to drive back to his apartment so late.
Minutes pass and suddenly you find yourself restless, sleep refusing to invade you. So with quiet steps, you approach Aenar's room, where the dim light of a night lamp reflects through the frame below the door.
Carefully and determined, you gently open the door, first peeking your head and then your body, catching the attention of Aemond who turns his head towards you, sitting near Aenar's crib and gently and very lightly stroking his hair so as not to wake him with a look of affection that does not leave his face despite the interruption.
"Can't you sleep?" he whispers to you, watching you with a soft gaze.
You nod softly, folding your arms as you look down at sleeping Aenar with palpable tenderness.
"It's late and I thought maybe... if you want, you can sleep here," you say with a warm tone but your hint of shyness in your voice is noticeable, as well as your hesitation to suggest such a thing.
It's no problem for you, it's just that he's never slept over before and you don't know what his reaction will really be to you proposing that, whether he'll say yes or no.
"And you're okay with that?" he observes you thoughtfully and softly.
"Yes, of course I am," you assure him completely nonchalantly, "It's totally fine with me."
He nods at you with a gesture, without wiping away his soft little smile.
"Thank you."
And then both his gaze and yours return to watching Aenar asleep in his crib. And Aemond resumes the smile of tenderness on his lips, again sliding his hand over his hair.
"He's beautiful, isn't he?" he whispers with a flash of pride in his gaze.
You hum in assent, slowly moving closer toward them both.
"Yes, he is," you reply, gazing at your little one with indescribable love.
A brief silence envelops you for a moment, only hearing the soft hum of the spinning lamp projecting images on the ceiling, creating a peaceful low-light scene of animals and stars for Aenar.
This usually helps him sleep and also calms him down a bit if he wakes up crying in the middle of the night while you wake up and rush over here.
"For a while I imagined how he would looked like, whether boy or girl..." he murmurs in a soft, warm, low, wistful tone, "No matter what you decided to do when you left, I always thought about it," he gives you a meaningful look, guilt on his features and you nod, watching him with understanding.
Aemond clenches his jaw and looks at Aenar again, while you remember those days, where fear and uncertainty lived inside you every day.
You wish you had them, those happy moments that a new mom should experience, but that was not the case for you and yet... you cannot imagine a life without your little boy, it is impossible.
What is supposed to be happy news, was not happy for you and Aemond.
There was no single moment of joy at the beginning, when you learned of your pregnancy. Nor did you experience that feeling the first few months, when you ran away and went back to building a new life.
And Aemond feels the remorse most in these kinds of moments, when Aenar is asleep and he looks at him, not being able to believe and wondering over and over again how it is that from the beginning, he supported the idea of just getting rid of him.
And now he sees only him and cannot imagine a world without him.
Shame overcomes him, guilt also and he even wants to cry with anger as he thinks of all that you must have gone through, without his support, trying to make a living for you and his son, all alone in a new and unknown place.
And he knows that this, allowing you to be in Aenar's life, is a great opportunity that he doesn't deserve and yet you have given it to him.
"I know you said you can't forgive me but... someday can you? For how I reacted and for the decision I supported in the beginning?" he asks you, unable to help himself and needing to know.
His tone is charged with a mixture of regret and longing as you feel a pressure and a slight sharp pain in your chest at his words.
Silence stretches for a moment throughout the room, Aemond respects your silence and though there are many reasons why you should never forgive him for what happened, you still decide to be honest.
"I don't know," you whisper in a low, sad and vulnerable tone.
The words echo through the room, enveloping the space with palpable tension.
Aemond feels his heart pounding, filled with overwhelming regret. He lowers his gaze, unable to bear the weight of his mistakes and your words are like a dagger in his heart, but still, he understands you completely.
He nods with compression, letting out a regret-laden sigh, still gently stroking Aenar's hair.
"I understand," he murmurs with a tone of melancholy and fragility, as well as in his gaze full of pleading and remorse.
"Does your family know about him?"
And you with your sad eyes full of regret, you watch him out of the corner of your eye.
And you see all those emotions in him, all his thoughts reflected in his gaze, trying to stand firm and on the sidelines as he continues to watch Aenar.
You can't help but ask, trying to calm the atmosphere a little, though it's useless, as that slight tension is felt and also that physical and emotional distance from both your side and him.
"I've wanted to tell them, only Nyra knows but I asked her not to say anything," he confesses to you in a low voice, trying to speak firmly but the nostalgia is clear, "Even though I know my mother and siblings will be disappointed in me when I explained what happened two years ago, yes I have wanted to tell them," he nods, "But first I wanted to discuss it with you," he says looking briefly at you over his shoulder.
And now it is remorse that comes to you.
"Tell them, Aemond," you tell him firmly with a soft tone, "They deserve to know."

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𝐖𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫 = 𝐦𝐲 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐲
summary: you and your boyfriend shed blood, sweat and tears in order to have perfectly wrapped christmas gifts. a/n: rafayel cries when really angry (i'm projecting) also you would think that last week of uni before christmas break would be all vibes but no instead you have to fight to survive (he says, as he wrote it during lecture) (I couldn't care less anymore tbh) (the professor literally was poorly reading from a presentation) (like dude you could sent it to us and we all could go home) cw: none
series masterlist

has no clue what is happening, is here for the vibes
"… and then you're done!" The person in the tutorial shows their perfectly wrapped gift. You look down at you, and while it's looking a little funky, it still looks similar to what was shown on the tutorial.
"That was pretty easy, right Xavier?" You look at you boyfriend, smiling. Then, you look down at how his gift looks like and you couldn't help but laugh.
His gift was a mess. The only thing it had the same as the tutorial is the fact that wrapping paper was used.
"Why didn't you say you're struggling? I could help you or we could watch the tutorial again" you look at Xavier, trying to figure out what he's thinking.
"I had fun, there was no point in stopping" the replies, smiling at you. Your heart squeezes at the sight of Xavier and his pure innocence.

good at wrapping, but gets mad easily
The wrapping on your part was going rather smoothly, the gifts you were tasked with wrapping were rather easy with them being simple boxes, since Rafayel decided to do the more complicated ones as the 'master wrapper' he claims to be. You were about to grab another one, signing along to the song that's playing in the background, when you heard Rafayel mumbling swear words under his breath.
"You ok over there?" You ask, looking over at your boyfriend.
"Yeah" he's not and you know that. His voice was shaking and his face was twisted in anger. You looked down at his hands to check what was making him feel that way. He was struggling with wrapping a particularly weird-shaped object.
"Raf, it's impossible to wrap to let's just throw in in a bag or something hm?" You put a hand on his shoulder and rub it in comforting manner.
"Yeah your right" Rafayel looks up to blink away the tears that were trying to spill from his eyes. You grab a bag,one of the few you bought just in case and let your boyfriend put the object in it.

avoids it, would rather pay/force someone else to do it for him
You hear Sylus sigh for like the fifth time in the last hour. It got to the point that you regret wanting to do it with him in the first place.
"Less sighing, more working, Sylus" you don't have to look up at him to know he's rolled his eyes the moment you said that.
"We wouldn't have to work, if you went with my plan" his voice has a sassy tone to it, his arms crossed
"We're not letting other people wrap gifts for OUR friends and family" you stand your ground and another sigh leaves your boyfriend's lips.
Then, out of nowhere, Sylus is right next to you, wrapping his strong arms around you from the back. He starts leaving soft kisses along your neck, hoping it would pull you away from work.
"It's not gonna work, Sylus. Get back to wrapping" you push him away from you.
"Worth a shot" he shrugs.

god-like wrapping skills AND super patient with your lack of skills
You watch Zayne skillfully wrap each and every gift with ease, his face in full focus that you usually see him have when he's doing patients paperwork.
"You know, if you actually did something else other than staring at me, we would be done by now" Zayne doesn't even look up from the gifts he's currently working on.
"How can I focus, when I have my boyfriend looking all hot while wrapping gifts" you lean against the table, smirking at him. "Besides, I have no clue how to wrap that thing"
"I'll show you" and boy he does. After finishing up with the gift he was working on, he comes closer to you. The two of you are so close, you can feel his warmth.
Zayne shows you all the tricks he knows when it comes to wrapping weirdly shaped objects. Even when you mess up something, he's there to help either guiding your hands or taking over and fixing it.

taglist: @leighsartworks216 @faeryminnyx @iloveboysinred @sstar-ggirl @bellagrayson-wayne
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#love and deepspace x reader#love & deepsace x reader#lads x reader#lads xavier#lads x you#lads x y/n#lads x mc#lads xavier x reader#sylus x reader#zayne x reader#rafayel x reader#lads zayne x reader#lads sylus x reader#lads rafayel x reader
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In Your Words
Larissa Weems x Fem!Journalist!Reader
Hiya! I've finally finished this bad boy <3 I'm uploading this lengthy fic cause I'll be having a shit ton of Uni Exams the next few weeks and won't be able to write.
Big thanks to @weemssapphic and some other friends for proofreading this fic <3
Disclaimer: English is not my first language!
Warning: SMUT 18+, minors DNI
Authors Note: Y/N is a newsreporter and wants to write a story about Nevermore and outcasts. What happens if a normie Journalist and an outcast Headmistress work together? (I suck at descriptions, have fun xD)
Words: 9'200+
Ao3 Link
Taglist
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You sat in your little office at the news station of Jericho, finger hovering over the mouse of your computer. You were hesitating. The cursor sat neatly atop the ‘send’ button, ready to send your email to its recipient. But you hesitated. Why? You didn’t know.
It’s true that it was frowned upon to interact with the outcasts, but you just couldn’t believe that they were as terrible as everyone said they were. You have seen them plenty of times strolling through the little city, shopping and stopping by the Weathervane for a drink. None of them ever seemed malicious or evil to you. With a deep inhale, you pressed send and quickly shut your computer off. There's no going back now.
—
The next day at the office, you were surprised to find that the Headmistress of Nevermore Academy, Larissa Weems, has replied. With a nervous breath, you opened the email:
Dear Miss Y/l/n,
I am pleasantly surprised about learning of your interest in outcasts, my students and the school in general. There are, however, a few things I would like to clarify first.
Now, if I understood correctly, you wish to catch a glimpse into the life of an outcast to then create a report about our differences and similarities with non-outcasts?
Because of the nature of this request, I have to let you know that I will not tolerate any sort of mockery or bad-mouthing of my students or my school.
You will have to follow our rules, outcast or not.
I won’t allow you to follow one of my students around, as this would pose a serious safety hazard for my students and yourself.
However, you are very welcome to settle yourself into my office and follow me around for however many days you deem necessary.
If this is alright with you, I would be willing to meet you coming Monday at the Weathervane and take you to the Academy.
Sincerely,
Larissa Weems
You released the breath you were holding and smiled to yourself. You replied to Miss Weems, agreeing to her terms and wishing her a wonderful weekend.
The following two hours consisted of preparing everything you needed for your report: a few notepads and notebooks, your laptop, a tablet, your camera and some pens. You couldn't help but feel nervous at the prospect of having the opportunity to report about the outcasts. This was not a subject anyone had ever really done research on, and you were adamant to figure out why everyone seemed so fearful of a bunch of teenagers in a school in the woods.
Over the weekend, you exchanged a few more emails with the Principal, clearing up any last logistical problems you’ve had.
You asked if you were allowed to stay for a week, to which she replied that it would be no problem if you agreed to stay in one of the empty studios that were meant for teachers at Nevermore.
Of course, you agreed.
Monday rolled around, and you were standing in front of the Weathervane, waiting for the Principal of Nevermore to pick you up. You have heard descriptions of her, and you knew she frequented the little Café a lot, yet you have never seen her in person before. Absentmindedly, you sipped on your hot chocolate, typing something on your phone, when suddenly:
“Miss Y/l/n I presume?” A soft voice with a wonderful British accent sounded from beside you. You turned your head to be met with a beige coat. Having to look up you finally made eye contact with the woman whose beautiful voice ripped you out of your thoughts.
You smiled up at her, nervousness flooding your chest as you took in the beauty of the woman in front of you.
“Principal Weems. It’s a pleasure to meet you!” you said quietly, nerves completely taking over your logical mind and body. You reached your hand out to shake hers. She took her beige glove off, and took your hand in hers. Her hand was soft, warm and wrapped perfectly around yours. Perfectly manicured red nails decorated her pale skin.
“Likewise!” She smiled down at you and removed her hand, putting her glove on again, and you immediately missed the feeling of her hand on yours.
“Are you ready for us to leave, Miss Y/l/n?”
“Oh… yes, of course!” You grabbed your bag with your equipment and personal items and followed her to her car. You set your luggage in the boot and sat in the passenger seat. Larissa sat in the driver's seat and started driving towards the Academy. After some silence, you spoke up again.
“Thank you so much for letting me stay at the Academy for a week.” Larissa smiled to herself and quickly glanced over at you before eyeing the road again.
“I should thank you. My students usually don’t get this sort of… exposure to the outside world. We are used to people avoiding us because of… fear or discrimination… whatever you want to call it.” Her tone shifted to a quieter and more serious one, her hands gripping the steering wheel just a little tighter. You sensed a shift in energy and gave her a reassuring smile.
“I believe everyone deserves a chance to be understood and seen.” You replied, and that seemed to relax the headmistress. She shot you a thankful smile, then focused back on the road, the rest of the ride being spent in comfortable silence.
—
Once at Nevermore, Larissa showed you around the grounds, having one of the teachers carry your possessions to the on-campus studio flat, which will be your new home for the following week.
Roaming the halls, it didn’t seem much different than a school for regular humans (besides it being incredibly fancy, of course) and you found that the students seemed like sweet kids. Truly, you couldn’t understand how there was so much hatred and fear surrounding these kids.
Larissa led you to her office, offering you a separate desk to work on. You set your laptop bag on the desk and turned to look at the headmistress, who was standing next to her desk.
“Now, Miss Y/l/n, you are free to follow me around the Academy whenever you want, but I trust you understand why I wouldn’t want you roaming the halls on your own.” She looked at you with a raised eyebrow.
“Of course, Miss Weems!” you reassured her quickly. “I understand how important it is for you to protect these kids… but I can assure you there are no ill intentions by me being here! After what I’ve seen thus far, I cannot believe why anyone would be fearful of outcasts. This is why I’m here. I don’t believe that these kids are as dangerous as everyone in Jericho, let alone the rest of the world, believes them to be.” You looked at her, and there was a slight shift of emotion on her face. Hope? Distrust? Surprise? You didn't know. After a few seconds of silence, the headmistress spoke up again.
“Very well,” she said, grinning at you with her million-dollar-winning smile. “If you ever feel like you would like to see more of the school or learn about its history, don’t be afraid to ask.” Her smile softened slightly. She seemed very fond of her students and her Academy. It truly warmed your heart, and you couldn't help but blush slightly. With a slight nod, you thanked her and sat down, getting your things ready to start your research.
Every now and then throughout the morning, you caught yourself glancing over at the tall woman. She sat in perfect posture, working on her laptop and typing away on some emails or documents. You didn’t realise how long you had been staring at her. The way her eyes flicked over the screen and the way she swiftly moved her fingers over the keyboard had you in a trance-like state. Her perfectly painted red lip curled up on the side, and she raised one of her eyebrows.
“Has no one taught you that staring is rude?” Her eyes flicked over to yours, and you quickly averted your eyes back on your own screen, mumbling a quiet ‘sorry’ her way. Your face felt hot, and you knew you were blushing, hard. Larissa chuckled and shook her head a bit in amusement. She stopped her typing and leaned back against the seat, turning to look at you, studying you as if she were… considering you. Shyly, you moved your gaze back to her.
“Would you like to have a look at one of the classes? Our subjects can vary drastically from the ones in your schools.” she smiled at you and tilted her head slightly.
“I-I would appreciate that, yes.” You answered, nodding, and quickly moved to grab your notepad and pen. When you looked back up, Larissa was already standing and walking towards the door of her office, only stopping to wait for you to catch up.
This morning, the headmistress took you to several classes, telling you about all the different subjects they have. You eagerly took notes, asking questions and listening intently to subjects you’d never heard of. Magic, transformation, siren song, etc. You were fascinated, and that didn’t get lost on Larissa. The longer she watched you, the more fond she grew of you. Your interest and amazement made her heart swell with pride for her school and her students. Even though she was rather careful of what to show you, she felt that this might be the biggest step ever made for outcasts to be accepted into everyday normie lives.
—
The day went by way faster than you would have wished for it. You have learned so much and were eager to learn even more. Larissa had taken her time explaining their school system to you and while you saw drastic differences, it still didn’t feel too out of the norm. There was one particular student that caught your eye. A rebel, you thought, someone who likes to prank and go against the rules. Those exist in every school, of course, but this girl seemed different. She did it with such nonchalance and elegance that it was almost invisible to the untrained eye.
After asking the headmistress, she told you about the student. Not much, just enough to answer your questions. Larissa seemed tense so you decided to change the subject, asking her about her own time at the school, and from then on the two of you got completely lost in conversation. Hours passed, and you shared your school experiences and collectively decided that they weren't all too different. With a heavy sigh, you leaned against the couch and watched Larissa refill yours and her wine glass.
“I have to be honest, even after just one day I have seen enough to tell you that this,” you waved your hand around, “is definitely nothing to be afraid or weary of. I mean… I always knew that the other… “normies”... are being way too sensitive when it comes to this place and its students but seeing it for myself… I simply can’t understand why there's so much hate and fear towards these poor students.” You sighed and took a sip of wine. “I mean… they're just kids aren't they?” You glanced up at the headmistress to see her smiling at you softly, humming in agreement.
“I have to be honest, Miss Y/l/n-”
“Y/n! You can call me Y/n if you want to,” you interrupted her with a smile, looking back into your glass as you felt your face blush.
“Y/n… I am surprised and… relieved.” She smiled sweetly at you then looked into the fireplace, a sad expression crossing her face. “I wish more people could see the kids for who they are instead of for what they are.” A sigh left her lips and she took a sip of wine. “It’s not easy being… different… an outcast. You can try all you want, there will always be a hint of fear and doubt in non-outcasts.” She turned to look at you, her icy blues piercing yours. “Are you afraid, Y/n?” she asked, quietly, almost inaudible, but you caught the slight shiver in her voice. It broke your heart to see her like this. You didn’t really know that woman except for what she was willing to tell you, but you knew, without a doubt, that she was the most precious being on the entire planet, and you would move planets just to see her at peace. Without really thinking about it, you set your glass down and moved to hold one of her hands.
“Miss Weems… Larissa… if I may?” you started, gently, and she nodded at you, “I do not claim to know what you and your students have to go through, day by day. Being villainized, misunderstood and what not. But what I do know is that I want to help you make a difference. The kids are nothing but kids… Powers and mutations aside… No matter how different you may seem from me, you are still a person. You don’t deserve to be treated like they treat you… all of you.” You smiled at her with a caring expression on your face and gently squeezed her hand. Larissa looked at you, eyes trained on your face, searching for lies, but she couldn't find any. She inhaled shakily and took a big sip of her wine then squeezed your hands back.
“Thank you,” was all she replied. You didn’t need more. You knew she meant it. You felt it. With a last gentle squeeze, you let go of her hand, grabbing your glass again.
“To my… to our project!” you smirked and raised your glass to her. She chuckled and shook her head slightly, looking back at you endearingly and raised her glass as well.
“To our project.”
—
As the week went on, Larissa and you started to develop a little routine. You would meet her in the morning to go to the Weathervane and get some breakfast to-go, spend the morning in her office or with a teacher of her choice (mostly Marilyn Thornhill), have lunch with her and the teachers, writing and researching in Larissas office, a dinner with staff and at the end of the day, a glass (or sometimes a bottle) of her favourite wine on the couch in front of the fireplace. Being around Larissa was incredibly easy. You loved talking to her, listening to her, discussing topics other than schools and outcasts. You felt safe, comfortable… you felt at home. And you weren’t the only one who felt this way. Larissa would catch herself, more than she’d like to admit, looking at you, watching you with adoration as you wrote and researched. She liked you. It wasn't a secret. She loved being around you and was looking forward to the evenings at the fireplace. A refreshing difference she desperately needed. Larissa had grown very fond of you, and she hoped you felt the same.
When Friday evening rolled around you were already sitting on the couch in Larissa’s office, waiting for her to come back with the wine as it suddenly hit you. It was already Friday… you’ll be leaving again on Monday. You’ll have to go back to your office and finish the report. Would you be able to see her again? Could you stay in contact? Larissa entered, placing the bottle and glasses on the table then saw the light crease between your brows as you stared into the flames of the fireplace, obviously deep in thought.
“Y/n?” she asked softly, and laid her hand on your shoulder, and you snapped your head towards her, not having heard her appear next to you. “Are you alright dear?”
“Yeah!..yeah.” You smiled up at her, watching her sit down next to you and opening the wine bottle. “I’ve just realised that it’s already Friday… The week really went by in a flash, huh?” You took the wineglass she held out to you and looked at it, swishing the red liquid around absent-mindedly. Larissa’s heart constricted seeing you like this.
“It did! But… as upsetting as it is, I am glad to see that you enjoyed your week here!” She took a sip of her wine and watched you closely. “That being said, seeing how my students seemed to like you being around,” and I, she thought, “you are more than welcome to return whenever you feel like it.” She watched you closely, seeing your eyes light up made her feel warm and content.
“I would love that Larissa. Thank you! And you are always welcome at the news station. I’ll make sure the others behave, don't worry.” you giggled and winked at her which pulled a small laugh from her lips and she shook her head amusedly. “I mean it!” You smiled as you snuggled into the couch and took a sip of wine, humming as the liquid hit your tongue, “If any of your students ever wants to know more about journalism or is interested in it, let me know. Matter of fact…” you sat up and straightened your back, holding your hand out to the blonde, “give me your phone I’ll give you my number so you can just let me know in case there is something.”
Larissa hesitated. She looked at your hand for a second, then smiled shyly and grabbed her phone, unlocking it and handing it to you to type in your number. She watched fondly as you typed your number in her phone. A slight tingle spread from her chest over her body as she took her phone back after you’ve saved your number.
“Thank you!” she said quietly, “I- really do appreciate it… everything you do. For us. Me and the students.” A soft pink colour kissed her cheeks and she gave you a truly heartfelt smile. You smiled back at her, butterflies spreading through your whole body. Her smile was the most beautiful thing you have ever seen. You knew right there, she had you wrapped around her finger. You have fallen.
—
You were able to finish your report on the last day of your stay in Nevermore, handing it in to be reviewed by your boss so it could be printed and released asap. With a heavy sigh, you leaned back into the chair, stretching your arms and back. Larissa smiled over at you and set her paperwork aside.
“I take it you’ve just handed in your story to be reviewed?” she asked with a gentle smile. Her eyes held a hint of sadness at the realisation that her office would be empty once again. You smiled over at her and nodded gently.
“Yes! Just handed it in! If everything goes well, you’ll be able to read it on Tuesday! And Larissa… thank you again… for everything!”
The blonde stood up, walking over to your side, and placed her hand on your shoulder, squeezing it gently.
“I should thank you. This… means way more to us than you could ever imagine!” Her smile was warm, eyes soft. You felt a shudder rush down your spine as you realised that you haven’t seen her this soft with anyone but you. All of this vulnerable affection was only directed towards you, only to be seen by your eyes.
You wanted to tell her… tell her that you like her. Tell her that she is the most beautiful woman you’ve ever had the pleasure to lay your eyes on. Just as you were about to open your mouth, she pulled away.
“If you want to, I can drive you back. I could drop you off at the Weathervane or.. At your place, if you prefer?” Larissa spoke, closing her laptop and putting her paperwork into a drawer. The headmistress didn’t want you to go, but she knew that if she would let you stay longer, she wouldn't be able to hold herself back. Certainly you wouldn’t feel the same… right?
“That.. that would be nice! Thank you!” you replied, feeling defeated. Maybe it was better to keep your feelings to yourself. Who knows, maybe she wasn’t interested in women.. Or simply normies. You took a deep breath, collecting your things and going to your room to pack the last few things. When you returned to the headmistress’ office, she was already waiting for you.
The drive back to Jericho was rather quiet. Neither of you knew what to say to the other. You wanted to tell her everything, pour your heart out to her and so did she, but you stayed quiet. Once you arrived at your Flat Complex, Larissa turned to you.
“It was really nice having you at Nevermore. Again, thank you for doing this for us. And… If you should ever want to come and visit, you are more than welcome to do so! I am sure the Students would love to see you again sometime.” and herself… but she didn't say that. You gave her a genuine smile, nodding slightly.
“I enjoyed my week there! You truly have wonderful students. And, I mean, you have my number so… if you or any of the kids should ever need something, just feel free to contact me!” You hoped she would contact you, but only time could tell.
—
It has been a month since you’ve last heard from Larissa. Your article got approved, and she complimented you on it, thanking you again profusely. That was the last, and only, time you’ve heard of her after staying at Nevermore. Sure, she was a busy woman, but you couldn’t help but feel upset. And you wouldn’t text her first, no. The anxiety that arose in you every time you tried to do so was enough to completely freeze you. So when you walked into the Weathervane on a Thursday morning to grab a coffee, you were more than delighted to see her there, quickly walking up to her.
“Good morning, Principal Weems” you said softly, watching her turn around and seeing her eyes light up as she saw you.
“Good morning Y/N!” she replied with a smile. That darn beautiful smile of hers. “Are you also here to grab some breakfast before work?” she asked, turning fully to you, all herattention focused on you, your face, those eyes she came to admire over the time you’ve spent at her school.
“I am but.. Uhm… if you’re not in a hurry, would you like to have breakfast with me?” you did it, you asked her. The second the question left your lips, you felt your cheeks heat up. Larissa looked at you with adoration and nodded.
“I would love to, actually!” She smiled and tilted her head slightly. She noticed your blush and couldn’t help but feel giddy about it. Was she the reason you blushed?
“Wonderful! What do you want? It’s my treat!” You smile, feeling a bit more confident now, seeing her soft and happy gaze directed only at you.
“Oh, you really don’t have to-”
“But I want to!”
Larissa sighed, shaking her head slightly with a grin, and chuckled at how adamant you were.
“Fine. Next time, it’s my treat!” She gave you her order and went to sit at a booth, waiting for you to join her. You couldn’t believe your ears. Next time? There will be a next time? The smile that spread on your lips could only be described as the smile of a happy fool. Truly, you were a fool. A fool for her.
After you’ve ordered and paid for your coffees and pastries, you made your way over to her, slipping into the booth.
“So… how have you been? How have the kids been?” you asked, trying to make small talk. You felt so awkward, but that feeling quickly washed away as you saw Larissa’s soft smile.
“Very well! Your report had quite the impact on how people from Jericho treat my students. I just wanted to thank you again. The effect this has had on our lives is way greater than I could have hoped for. The article… your words… truly left an impact.” She reached her hand out, grabbing yours and squeezing it lightly.
“Thank you!”
Your smile grew tenfold, and you squeezed her hand back.
“I am so happy to hear that this has worked out so well for you and your students.” You shyly pulled your hand back and thanked the waiter when he placed your drinks and pastries in front of you.
“How have you been y/n?” Larissa asked. She was looking at you… into you… into your soul with those beautiful ice-y blue eyes. You felt your cheeks heat up and grabbed your cup as well, trying to ground yourself.
“I’ve been well! The Article has caught a lot of attention, so I’ve been rather busy lately…” You smiled at her and took a sip as she watched.
“Though I do have to say, I miss being around the kids…” and around you, you thought to yourself. The blonde eyed you over her coffee mug and smiled sweetly.
“In that case, would you like to come to the Rave’N this weekend?” She did it… she asked you. Her heart was beating like crazy but seeing the light blush covering your face she couldn't help but feel proud of herself.
“The Rave’N? Really?” You asked, not believing your ears. Larissa nodded and tilted her head.
“Yes really! Our theme this year is ‘Climate crisis meets extinction effect’ and the dress code is white.” She took a bite of her pastry and smiled at you. You thought for a second. You didn’t have any white outfits, so you’d definitely have to buy one, but you’d be damned if you wouldn’t agree to her invitation.
“In that case, I’d love to!” The smile you gave her made Larissa’s heart melt. How were you so precious? She nodded slightly.
“I’ll have Marilyn pick you up here at around 5:30pm on Saturday. The students will be excited to see you again!” She finished her coffee and snack and stood up.
“I’d love to stay longer, but I have to get back to Nevermore… I’ll see you this Saturday, dear.” and with that, she left your flustered self in the Weathervane.
—
Shopping for an appropriate but also impressive garment was not easy. You currently had 2 dresses in front of you and couldn’t decide which one to pick. One was made of silk and rather simple but had an extravagant high slit up your right thigh and a very low back, whereas the other covered more of your back and arms but was a bit shorter with a princess gown puff skirt. You sighed and decided to put them on again, took a picture of you wearing them and sent them to Marilyn. You and her had gotten rather close during the week you spent at Nevermore, and you’d kept contact even afterwards. She was such a sweetheart, but she was also a pain in the ass as she has been nagging you about your outfit all afternoon already.
It didn’t take long for you to be flooded with messages of Marilyn going crazy over the silk dress.
Marilyn:
“Oh, you SO have to get the silky one! Larissa won’t be able to keep her eyes off of you”
Y/N:
“What do you mean? Why would you say that?”
Marilyn:
“Oh come ooooon… It is SOOOOOOO obvious that you have the hots for her… just pick the silk one.”
You were sure Marilyn would laugh at you if she could see you right now. Your face was bright red because you’d been found out. Was it really that obvious? Did Larissa know? Was that why she invited you? Could she... no. No, that probably wasn’t the case... Just wishful thinking. With a sigh you looked back on your phone.
Y/N:
“Fine. I’ll get the silk one. But just because you picked it 😛”
You got dressed again and went to buy the garment.
Once back at home, you took your time to look for hair and makeup inspiration to complete your look and be ready for Saturday. Marilyn and you had been texting back and forth all day, and she’d helped you pick the perfect hairstyle and makeup for the Rave’N.
You were nervous… of course you were, but there was this little glimmer of hope starting to take hold within you. Maybe Larissa really did like you.
—
You were waiting in front of the Weathervane for Marilyn to come and pick you up.
Were you nervous? Absolutely!
Were you excited? Definitely!
But you couldn’t help and worry… worry about… you were actually not sure. Your nerves were getting the better of you and there was nothing that could be done against it. Not that you haven’t tried… you definitely did! You went through every trick in the book.
Breathing exercise? No effect.
Meditation? Nothing.
A tea? That just made you worried that you would spill it on your dress, so that wasn’t helping at all.
So you just stood there… waiting.
“Hey! You good?” you suddenly heard someone call out to you and released a sigh.
“Marilyn! Hey!” You smiled at your friend and got into the car, leaning over to give her a hug.
“Not really… my nerves are taking over right now.” You groaned.
“You’re just making yourself crazy over nothing! Relax! You’ll be fine!” she smirked and turned her gaze back onto the road, starting towards Nevermore.
“You look amazing by the way!”
You chuckled and looked out of the window. You did look nice… it also took you forever to get ready. You had braided some hair along the sides of your head and pulled everything up into a fluffy space bun, which you decorated with some crystal pins. Your makeup was soft, in nude colours, with a soft peach lip and some sparkly eyeshadow on your eyelids. The dress fit perfectly and hugged every curve of your body, and you had found the perfect off-white heels in your closet.
“Thank you! Wouldn’t have managed to pull this off without you!” You smile and look over at the redhead. Marilyn was grinning to herself.
“If you two hook up, I deserve to be invited to dinner by you!” Your shocked gasp caused her to laugh out loud.
“Oh come on! I know you want her… and to be quite honest…” She raised an eyebrow and glanced over at you with a mischievous smirk. “I think the feelings are mutual.”
The blush that spread on your face was all Marilyn needed to know she was right.
“You’ll see! She’ll be absolutely smitten with you looking like this.”
“We’ll see…” you reply, watching the scenery outside.
Marilyn parked the car and ran around to open the door for you with a dramatic bow.
“M’lady.” she chuckled, and you rolled your eyes amusedly as you got out of the car.
“You’re an idiot!”
The teacher smirked and moved to hold her arm out for you to hold. She led you into the building and guided you towards the great hall.
You weren’t expecting to be swarmed by students the second you entered the ballroom.
“Hi Y/N! What are you doing here?”
“You look gorgeous! Who invited you?”
“It’s so nice you’re back! Come! Let's go dance!”
“Do you want something to drink? I’ll get you some punch!”
You were being surrounded and swarmed by the students, and it warmed your heart to see how excited they were by your presence. Marilyn slipped away from you without you noticing, the second she realised someone was walking up to the newly formed commotion around your presence. You struggled answering all of their questions when suddenly you felt a hand on your shoulder and the students grew quiet.
“Now, now… dear y/n has just arrived, don’t crowd her like that. You’ll have enough time to have a chat with her tonight.” The smooth British voice echoed from behind you and a pleasant shudder ran down your spine. The students nodded and went back to their friends on the dance floor. You turned around to look up at the principal.
Larissa couldn’t help but let her eyes roam over your figure. The dress you chose was absolutely exquisite, your makeup complimenting the simplicity of the outfit and your hair that just looked too soft. Vulgar thoughts flooding her mind as she finally caught your eyes. You were looking up at her with big doe eyes, so innocent and sweet.
“Come in! Want something to drink?” she asked as she gently took your arm and led you into the ballroom. You couldn’t believe your eyes. Larissa looked… She was a goddess. Her hair was up like always but decorated with some intricate curls, her usual red lipstick a wonderful contrast to the silver dress she was wearing. Looking up at her, you saw her eyes scanning you, your heart skipping a beat. Her pupils dilated as she finally landed on your eyes, and you had to suppress a whimper. This woman will be the death of you. It took you a few seconds to register her question and notice her arm intertwined with yours.
“I- yes… please!” you answered quietly, not being able to suppress the grin gracing your lips.
Larissa handed you a glass of punch and took one herself. You stood at the edge of the dance floor with her, watching the kids having fun.
You really wanted to dance with her, but didn’t know how to ask. Should you ask? What if she said no? What if she thought you were weird, and she only wanted to invite you for the kids’ sake? But… What if she said yes? What then? You didn’t know how to dance. Sure, you have visited your fair share of parties, but you didn’t think you were a good dancer. And what if you started dancing, and you didn’t do it right, and she would start laughing and-
“What's going on in that head of yours, darling?” Larissa’s soft voice pulled you out of your thoughts. You looked up at her just to catch her already looking at you. Her eyes were soft, a hint of concern shimmering in them. She looked so… soft. You just wanted to pull her into an embrace, a kiss, soft and full of affection. Taking a breath in, you set your glass on a table then held your hand out to her.
“Would you like to dance, Larissa?” you asked, heart hammering in your chest as you saw her eyes widen ever so slightly in surprise. A sweet pink hue coloured her cheeks as she blinked at you a few times, registering what you just asked her. Larissa quickly placed her glass on the table next to yours and moved to put her hand into yours, looking up at you with a shy smile, nodding.
“I would love to!” she said quietly, almost above a whisper. The bright smile that appeared on her face was enough to get her heart racing and head spinning. Your eyes were practically sparkling with glee, and it made her feel so fuzzy and warm inside. To have such happiness and excitement directed towards her was a privilege she’s never experienced before. You giddily pulled her onto the dance floor, not believing your luck.
Marilyn was watching from the corner, watching as you pulled Larissa onto the dance floor. She smirked at the two of you, but something felt weird… the music!
A mischievous smirk graced her features as she waddled off to the DJ and asked him to play a slow and romantic song. The second the music changed, you and Larissa shot a look over at the DJ, seeing Marilyn standing there, innocently waving at the two of you. Oh, you were so going to get revenge on her for that. Your anxiety started kicking in again, but before you could start overthinking it you felt warm hands on your waist. Larissa was pulling you closer, and she just hoped you wouldn’t pull away.
“Is this okay?” Her piercing blue orbs held steady eye contact with you, and you felt your face heat up. With a nod, you move to place your arms on her shoulders, hands close to her neck. She smiled and started swaying with you to the rhythm of the song. Seeing you so shy and flustered by her gave her the necessary courage to take a step closer. She leaned her head down to your ear, causing a shiver to run down your spine.
“You look absolutely delectable tonight, my dear. Have you picked this outfit just for me?” Her hot breath on your skin caused you to bite your lip. You nodded.
“I was hoping you’d like it.” You replied quietly. Larissa tightened her grip on you, squeezing your waist gently, which caused a gasp to leave your lips.
“Dressing up nicely just for me?” She husked, feeling herself getting more confident. Emboldened by the way your body… you reacted to her.
“You’re such a good girl!” You could hear the smirk in her voice. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself.
“It’s a shame this dress will be laying somewhere scattered in my quarters after this ball is over.”
You tightened your grip on her shoulders, pulling her closer. Your heart felt like it was beating out of your chest. The tension was high, atmosphere thick with desire. You felt your knees tremble, ready to take whatever she was willing to give you. You pulled your head back a bit, just enough to look into her eyes, and what you saw almost made you whimper with anticipation. Her usually so pale blue eyes were dark, lustrous, her breathing heavier than usual and her lips were slightly parted.
Before either of you could say or do anything, you felt something drip on your cheek. Confusedly, you blinked a few times, and Larissa eyed your cheek in concern.
The drips quickly multiplied, and soon you were showered in, what you believed to be, blood. Your eyes widened as you looked around, unable to move. Everything was getting soaked with this red liquid. What was happening?
Larissa was the first to move. She pulled away from you but grabbed your hand and quickly led you outside, the other staff helping the kids get out of the ballroom as well. Some fled into the courtyard and some into the school halls. There was a big commotion amongst the students, and you and Larissa immediately sprang into action, trying to calm the scared kids. Marilyn came running with a pile of blankets and towels to wrap around the sopping pupils.
Whatever had happened, it was clearly meant as an attack of sorts. You were fuming. Even after all the positive feedback you got for your report, there were still some bad apples in the normie bunch. If you ever caught who did that, they would surely regret pulling a stunt like that.
—
After the, you now knew it to be, red dyed water attack, you helped Larissa, Marilyn and the other employees to bring the kids inside and to their dorm rooms. After the last student was brought to their room, you stood in the foyer, watching Larissa talk to the Sheriff. You could tell she was agitated… mad. But yet she kept her composure, talked calmly and was respectful. A light bump against your shoulder alerted you to the presence of your friend.
“Hey… thanks for your help! You really didn’t have to, you know?” Marilyn smiled defeatedly at you, and you returned the smile.
“It’s okay! I really didn’t mind… Just wished that this wouldn’t have happened… it’s not like they already have it hard enough and now that… I was really hoping that my report had a bigger impact but-”
“Don’t say that!” Marilyn interrupted, “Your article was eye-opening for so many people in town! It definitely helped! Big time! There’s just always gonna be a few assholes trying to ruin everything again.” She was clearly frustrated as well. You looked at her and chuckled, then shook your head.
“I guess you’re right..” You sighed and rubbed the back of your neck. The two of you stood in silence for a while until Marilyn noticed you watching Larissa again and smirked.
“Such a shame the two of you got interrupted! It almost seemed as if you were about to kiss.” She teased and your, admittedly already red, face started blushing furiously. You hit her arm lightly.
“Stop teasing!” You hissed, but Marilyn just laughed and nudged you again.
“What are we laughing about?” You both turned your head towards the voice and saw the headmistress standing in front of you. One perfectly sculpted eyebrow raised in curiosity. Marilyn just chuckled and smirked at you, then at Larissa.
“Oh nothing important…” She took a deep breath and then clapped her hands together, “Well… I’ll be off… gotta get that red dye out of my hair somehow. Bye bye.” She waved at the two of you, leaving you alone with Larissa once more. She really had the audacity to leave you in situations like these every single time she had the opportunity to. You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose. Larissa watched Marilyn in confusion, then turned to you.
“Y/N… thank you for helping out with the students! I- am so sorry you had to experience this…” She sounded… sad, upset, worried? You looked up at her and saw her looking at you.
“It’s quite alright! I’m just sad they had to experience that! It’s not fair… they’re good kids and I just don't get why anyone would want to harm them in any way…” You gave her a sad smile, then shyly reached out and grabbed her hand to squeeze it lightly.
“But I did really enjoy dancing with you, Larissa…” she smiled back at you and squeezed your hand back.
“As did I… uhm… would you like to come back to my quarters and get that paint washed off? Maybe have a glass of wine?” She was nervous. She was nervous and you could tell. The way her hand lightly trembled, and her eyes darted away from yours while asking. It filled your heart with that fuzzy warm feeling. You nodded and stepped to the side, still holding her hand.
“Lead the way!”
—
In Larissa’s quarters, she quickly went into the bathroom, returning with a damp cloth and some makeup wipes in the hopes of getting the dye off your skin and hair. You managed to wipe the paint off your face without any issues, but it really stuck to your hair. Larissa went to quickly shower off the paint, and you couldn't help but think about her in the shower. Water streaming down that smooth alabaster skin. You wished you could have joined her.
As Larissa got out of the shower, your breath got stuck in your throat. Her damp hair framed her face in gentle curls. She wasn’t wearing any makeup now, and you seriously didn’t think that this woman could get any more beautiful, but, alas, it seems you were mistaken. Before you stood a goddess in champagne coloured silk pyjamas.
Larissa blushed lightly and smiled at you as she saw you staring. She walked up to you and gently examined your hair, your nostrils filling with the scent of her shampoo by the close proximity of her.
“Seems the dye really stuck to your hair… here.” She handed you a fresh towel and some spare pyjamas.
“You can take a shower if you want to!” She added quietly. You smiled back at her and nodded, taking the items in your hands.
“Thank you! I’ll… uhm… I’ll be right back” You stammered out and quickly made your way to the bathroom. It was luxurious, like the rest of her quarters. You weren't surprised that she handed you the probably softest towel ever and the most luxurious pyjama you ever had the honour of wearing. This woman had an immaculate taste, and it was evident in every aspect of her life.
After your quick shower, you tossed the towel into the laundry hamper in the corner of the room and walked out, your dress in your hands. That was definitely ruined now.
You entered the living room again and saw Larissa sitting on her couch in front of the fireplace, two glasses and a bottle of wine on the small table in front of it. You put your dress in your bag and sat next to her. She looked over and smiled softly, handing you a glass of wine, which you took gratefully.
“Thank you! And thanks that I got to use your shower and… borrow some clothes! I really appreciate it.” You smiled at her and took a sip of the wine. Holy mother of god… of course, the wine was absolutely spectacular. Larissa smiled.
“Don’t mention it. It’s the least I could do.. Plus, I do have to admit I like how my Pyjamas look on you.” She smirked and took a sip of her wine. Larissa eyed you as you just looked at her with wide eyes and a bashful look on your face. You sat the glass down and turned to look at her, clearly gathering your courage to say whatever was on your mind. She thought you looked adorable like that. However, what came out of your mouth next was not something she’d expected to hear.
“It’s truly a shame that you didn’t get to take my dress off and discard it somewhere in your room…” You smirked at her smugly, but before you could continue your teasing, she had you already pressed against the cushion of the couch. Looking at her, you saw her eyes were full of lust, full of hunger. She gently lifted your head with her finger under your chin, forcing you to keep eye contact as she gently pressed her knee between your legs. You inhale sharply and look at her, lust evident in your gaze.
“If you want me, all you have to do is say it.” She husked, ghosting her lips over yours. Larissa loved the way you trembled underneath her, but every time you tried to close the gap, she would pull away.
“You have to say it, darling,” she whispered. You were getting restless, a needy whine escaping you.
“Please Larissa…” You whimper and look at her with your best puppy eyes.
“Please what, darling?”
“Please… I need you… I want you,” you breathe out. The heat began to build, and you could already feel that you were soaked. Larissa grinned down at you.
“Good girl!”
You didn’t have time to react as Larissa finally closed the gap, pulling you into a bruising kiss. It was so full of need and lust. Your lips moved against hers in perfect harmony. Wrapping your arms around her, you pulled her close.
The kiss quickly grew hot, passionate. Larissa bit your lower lip, causing you to gasp and giving her the perfect opportunity to deepen the kiss. She explored your mouth with her tongue, leaving you in a state of dizzying bliss. Her skilled tongue fought with yours for dominance, kissing you with such fervour that both of you almost ran out of breath.
You pulled apart just quickly to catch your breaths before Larissa attacked your neck with hot open-mouthed kisses. Trailing her tongue over your pulse point, then latching on to it and sucking hard. Your back arched into her, head tilting to the side to give her better access.
The aching between your legs became almost unbearable. You wrapped one of your legs around her hips, pulling her closer, but Larissa gently pulled away, causing a pathetic whine to escape.
“Patience darling!” She husked as she sat up and swiftly picked you up, carrying you to her bedroom and dropping you on the bed. The second you laid there, she was already on you again, her lips continuing their assault on your neck. Larissa moved to slowly unbutton the pyjama shirt you were wearing, but you were too impatient. With a swift motion, you helped her unbutton the rest of the shirt and pulled it off of your body, leaving you with a bare chest. Larissa chuckled darkly.
“Impatient are we?” she roamed her hands over your soft stomach, cupping one of your breasts. Dipping her head down again, she moved to the other breast and took your hardened nipple in her mouth, teasing it with her teeth and tongue. You moved your hands in her hair, pulling gently at the sensation she was rewarding you with. Larissa moaned against your breast as a reaction which caused you to buck your hips up. You were so desperate for her, and it was so pathetic, but you didn’t care. All you could feel, small, taste, hear, was her. And you needed more.
“Rissa please,” you groaned as you felt her lips travel towards the hem of the pyjama trousers.
“Need you,” you breathed out. Looking down, you saw her smirk up at you. As she pulled away again you were about to protest but seeing her take her blouse off silenced you immediately. You sat up, reaching out to her and running your fingertips over her body, watching goosebumps spreading over her skin. You cupped her breasts and massaged them, teasing her nipples with your fingers as you leaned in to kiss her.
Larissa melted into your touch and kiss. Quiet sighs and moans leaving her lips as she laid you back down.
“I need to taste you darling,” she whispered between kisses, and you whimpered in response, nodding gently.
“Please! Please…”
Larissa kissed her way down your body again, pulling the trousers down as she moved her kisses down your legs. She threw the trousers somewhere into the dark of the room, then moved her hands to your knees, spreading your legs gently. She groaned at the sight of a wet spot on your white lace underwear. The blonde looked up at you, watching your reaction as she ran her thumb over the wet spot, pressing down on it gently. Your back arched off the bed and your mouth opened in a quiet moan.
“P- please Rissa… need you so bad,” you whimpered, rolling your hips against her thumb, needing more friction. In any other situation Larissa would have loved to tease you more, but she was just as desperate to taste you as you were to feel her tongue on you. So without further pause, she swiftly pulled your thong down your legs. She almost moaned at the sight of your glistening cunt in front of her.
“All of this because of me?” she groaned and moved to kiss the inside of your thigh as you nodded.
“You’re such a good girl, y/n.'' Larissa couldn't hold back any more. She had to taste you. The smell of your arousal made her mouth water and her head dizzy. The second her tongue made contact with your wet and hot cunt, the breath got stuck in your throat and Larissa let out one of the most vulgar moans you’ve ever heard, causing your eyes to roll to the back of your head.
Larissa wasted no time in eating you out. Her tongue danced around your clit before she captured it between her lips and sucked. You moaned out loud, her name falling off your lips like a prayer. The way she used her mouth on you made you feel ecstatic, you felt like you were on cloud nine. The world, every responsibility you had, everything that has ever bothered or hurt you, everything that has been on your mind and stressing you out lately was just gone.
Larissa never slowed her ministrations on you, listening to your cues, noticing how your body reacted to certain things. She loved how easily your body reacted to her. It's like you were made to be pleased by her.
“R-issa… need more..” you gasped out between moans. You needed more of her, needed her in you. Larissa smirked and ran her tongue over the length of your slit one last time before rubbing two of her fingers against your entrance gently, coating it with your slick. You were so desperate to feel her fill you up, your hips rolling against her, motioning for her to stop teasing you. She easily slipped one finger in as soon as she thought they were wet enough. You let out a low moan and moved against her as she started pumping her finger in and out slowly. After a while, she pushed a second finger in and watched you grip the sheets.
“You take me so well, my love.” She praised and moved kisses up your body as she picked up speed with her fingers. Larissa managed to hit spots no one ever had, curling her fingers against that soft, spongy spot that made you see stars. Your walls clenched around her fingers, and you felt the coil tighten in your abdomen.
“M’close… Riss-ah” your moans only spurred her on more. She wanted to hear you, she wanted to see you come undone, she wanted to hear her name on your lips over and over and over again. Larissa picked up her pace again, using her thumb to rub small circles over your sensitive clit. The coil in your abdomen was about to snap, and she felt it.
“That's it! Cum for me, y/n. Let me hear you,” she husked into your ear as she nibbled on your earlobe. That was all you needed for the coil to snap. Your legs and arms wrapped around her, needing her impossibly close as you came on her hand with a cry of her name. Larissa was gentle. She helped you ride out your orgasm and then very carefully pulled her fingers out. Your limbs went weak and dropped from her. You lay on the bed, breathing heavily and exhausted. You felt a shift on the bed but didn't have the strength to open your eyes. A few minutes later you felt the mattress dip again then felt a soft, damp and warm sensation between your legs. Larissa had gotten some towels to help clean you up. She used the damp one to clean between your legs and used a dry one to dab the sweat off your face.
A soft smile spread over your lips as the blonde returned the towels, then came back and laid in bed next to you. Pulling her closer, you started to press soft sleepy kisses to her chin and neck, but she stopped you gently. You looked up at her with a pout, and she kissed your forehead gently.
“Rest!” She whispered and pulled you close. You frowned at her.
“But I want to make you feel good too,” you whispered back and held tightly onto her. She just shook her head, a content and also sleepy smile gracing her features.
“You can. Tomorrow! We have all day to ourselves tomorrow,” she replied and stroked your cheek gently, looking into your eyes lovingly. You smiled and nodded, snuggling into her embrace, you let out a quiet and content sigh. This felt right. This felt like home.
“Good Night Rissa.”
“Good Night y/n.”
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I hope you liked it <3 Comments are greatly appreciated :3
#fanfic#queer#ao3#reader insert#sapphic#wlw#gwendoline christie#gwendoline christie fanfics#larissa weems x reader#larissa weems#wednesday#larissa weems x fem!reader
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