#hes a war cleric<3

[the-peculiar-rogue]

I took a look at cotl and went "haha my cleric frfr"

[rexcaliburechoes]

gale is ambition, so he has both crippling self doubt and debilitating pride in his work.

gale is ambition, so if a character tries to undermine him by one-upping him, he'll think he's not nothing left. more else can the orb destroy that it hasn't already?

gale is ambition, so if a character tries to undermine him by one-upping him, he'll vehemently deny that. he's the wizard of waterdeep. he was mystra's chosen. he was her lover. who could be any better than that?

gale is ambition. it's his greatest flaw and his greatest asset.

[forcedhesitation]

I'm actually rather surprised that not a single one of the boys made top three. but then again, I suppose the large number of straight men that play this game are not as visible in fan spaces as us lgbt. That is...a fortunate thing, though, I'd argue.

[quiddling]

teehee (-;

[australianspy]

what i wouldn't give for bg3 to let durge be a war cleric for one of the dead 3....... bonus points if it's bane. their brain is so goopified to the point that all they remember about themself is their own name, don't even know their profane FATHER. and yet, we see that they remember gortash's name? what if they also remember the freedom he promised, not in so many words but in FEELING, and recognize it in bane? does bhaal exsanguinate them on his altar for worshipping the enemy? does bane laugh the whole time at how easy it was to corrupt the flesh of his sworn rival? sure, but it'd all be worth it for how gortash would be falling over himself when amnesiac durge approaches him for the first time, clothed in the colors of his lord and devout to the last vestiges of his memory.

[findafight]

Okay i think Eddie should convince Steve to play a nice clean little oneshot with the party, and because it's just a oneshot he decides he can use the plot of the star trek episode "the devil in the dark". (Blob monster in mines) because 1) when asked the kids have said they've "seen the movies" but aren't as invested in it as star wars 2) it's quick to whip up and not a bad way to start a newbie (investigate these weird deaths! Oh no monster!) 3) no way would Steve know Star Trek aside from what the kids tell him so he doesn't even bother asking to make sure.

Number three is a mistake.

Because Steve's great aunt loved Trek and Steve loved his auntie, so he has watched every episode multiple times. He owns some of the novels. He's seen the movies on opening weekend. There is a box of zines from the sixties and seventies that his auntie passed down to him. Steve, by all accounts, is a Trekkie.

He just thinks it's old lady grandma stuff so doesn't really mention it except to Robin. He likes sci Fi, he's not into fantasy.

So once the session gets rolling an hour in Steve is Suspicious. He recognizes some stuff happening from his Auntie's Programs.

Eventually he decides to test the waters. He's pretty confident he knows what's going on. At some point Dustin is nagging his character and he snaps "dammit! I'm fighter, not a cleric!" And turns to look Eddie dead in the eye. (This episode is the first in which Bones' iconic line is used)

Eddie has realized that he's made a Mistake.

Steve just raises his eyebrows in challenge.

[littlejuicebox]

Midnight Chimes 4 / Ringleader

Pairing: Astarion x F!Reader Warlock.

Word Count: 2,415

Summary/Setting: You and Astarion have met before, though you think it meant more to you than it did to him. You are an apothecary shop owner that has recently gained some mysterious Warlock powers; Astarion is, in your eyes, a rake that you wouldn’t trust as far as you can throw him. You two run into one another again after the nautiloid crash.

Preview:

It hadn’t really been you that found the three new party members, after all. It had been your patron. The blasted thing seemed to alternate between completely ignoring you and positively strong arming you into submission.  And it seemed unfortunately hellbent on collecting every straggler along the way of this little adventure. Though you supposed the cleric, the githyanki, and the Blade would likely prove to be more useful additions than the pale elf sitting nearby.  But how could you explain the connection to the celestial being to Gale or anyone else if you did not truly understand the connection yourself? How could you explain they were putting their trust in the wrong person for the job? Gods, you needed to get back to Baldur’s Gate and head to Sorcerous Sundries. Surely they would have some information about this unwilling bond. And speaking of unwilling bonds…

Warnings: eventual smut and gore 18+ / in game spoilers / angst, trauma, fluff

A/N: Finally feeling (almost) 100% back to my normal, healthy self! Thank you for the good vibes and well wishes! &lt;3

The warlock, the wizard, and the rogue.

This little group started off with the makings of some ridiculous fairytale your parents would have read to you before bed.

Though, despite your parents wishes, you hadn’t really been a child interested in fairytales and make believe. Your penchant for pragmatics had developed early on, and before long mama and papa had all but given up on their dreams of a perfect princess daughter. In her place stood some sort of mad scientist… at least in their eyes.

You hadn’t actually been mad. Not then, at least. Though you were starting to worry that between the parasite and your patron, you might truly be going crazy now. No doubt the two were at war, trying to determine who would wrestle ultimate control of your mind.

Should you simply choose between the lesser of two evils, when your fate already feels sealed as it is? 

Gale and Astarion had blindly followed your lead the first day, and remained silent every time you decided to stop and change course, prodded in another direction by the celestial being playing with your psyche. This abrupt switch in traveling plans led you all to Lae’zel, where you convinced the tieflings to let her go, and Shadowheart, as she desperately tried to break open the door of some abandoned ruins. 

Astarion had simply picked the lock of the ruins, earning him some clout among the others for his skill set and further suspicion from you. After all, why exactly did a man like Astarion have any need for a skill like that? 

Subsequently, the five of you explored the dank, dilapidated building. After downing a handful of humanoids and some reanimated corpses, the group happened upon a strange, skeletal being named Withers. He said he would see you again soon.

After a relatively restless night in camp, you all happened upon the Grove on the second day of exploration. Some druid named Halsin is missing, though it turns out he may be the answer to your little predicament, Nettie tried to poison you (stupid, really, to try to poison an apothecary with one of the most basic tricks in the book), you saved a little tiefling thief from death, and then you met Wyll… all in a couple of hours.

The Blade of Frontiers is looking for some devil he’s supposed to kill; he’s also got a tadpole in his head, and like Gale, seems in relatively good spirits for such a grim situation. Those two seem suspiciously well-adjusted. 

The entire journey thus far had only been two days long and exceedingly… well, odd. 

It was certainly a much different experience from your day to day of brewing potions and tending the shop. You wanted nothing more than to return to the comforts of city life. But instead, you were forced to be the unwilling ringleader of this circus, despite your protests on the matter.

You are discussing your concerns about leadership with Gale as the group takes a short rest not far from the Grove. Wyll is gathering the last of his supplies and will meet up with all of you in mere moments. 

“Oh, but you’re doing a fantastic job, Demetria!” Gale exclaims, somehow unfailingly supportive of a woman he barely knew. 

Oh, how you wished to trust anyone half as much. 

“You have such remarkable intuition. We wouldn’t have found Shadowheart, Lae’zel, Wyll, or all this great loot without you!” He continues, before gesturing to a handful of gold and scrolls while positively beaming.

The wizard clasps a friendly hand on your back and then scans the surrounding area. He smiles at you once more, “Now I plan to make myself useful and harvest some flora! If you plan to make use of that newly procured cauldron, I best give you materials to work with.” 

You smile softly and nod at the wizard before he disappears into the shrubbery. Brewing potions was easy; you could craft all the basic ones by memory alone. But leading a group of people through the wilds based on some sort of fabled intuition and instinct? You weren’t so sure about that. 

It hadn’t really been you that found the three new party members, after all. It had been your patron. The blasted thing seemed to alternate between completely ignoring you and positively strong arming you into submission. 

And it seemed unfortunately hellbent on collecting every straggler along the way of this little adventure. Though you supposed the cleric, the githyanki, and the Blade would likely prove to be more useful additions than the pale elf sitting nearby. 

But how could you explain the connection to the celestial being to Gale or anyone else if you did not truly understand the connection yourself? How could you explain they were putting their trust in the wrong person for the job?

Gods, you needed to get back to Baldur’s Gate and head to Sorcerous Sundries. Surely they would have some information about this unwilling bond. And speaking of unwilling bonds…

Astarion is perched on a fallen log, basking in the midday sun’s rays. He’s the picture of relaxation, as if this entire sordid affair is a holiday away from Baldur’s Gate.

Sure, the pale elf had been helpful in battle, and he seemed to have a strange knack for opening locks, but as far as participating in camp efforts went, he certainly left a lot to be desired. You should have guessed as much. With the princely attitude and haughty confidence, it was likely he was merely another spoiled, rich elf. He reminded you of…

Nevermind.

You look to Shadowheart, hoping to pursue a conversation with the woman, but she is a few feet away, resting on her knees in prayer. Lae’zel is also preoccupied as she meticulously sharpens her already deathly blade. You’ve spent almost all day trying to intentionally avoid Astarion and keep any conversation with him to a minimum. But as everyone else seems busy doing their own thing, you’re left with no choice but to take a few minutes of reprieve near the rogue. 

You sigh and nestle yourself on the ground, unwilling to take the empty spot on the log next to Astarion; sitting like an animal in the dirt seemed the better option for your pride. As you lean back to stretch your aching muscles, the warm country breeze picks up, swirling around the elf’s silver curls. You are sitting downwind from the rogue, and the gust pushes a whiff of bergamot and rosemary in your direction. 

You can’t help it. The fragrance angers you. Astarion hadn’t even written to you once, even to send a simple rejection or at least compliment your sample. He’d wasted your time on your last few hours of vacation three years ago. All for what, exactly? 

He hadn’t even gotten to bed you, which had surely been his goal, in the end. 

You glare at him, in all his world-endingly beautiful privilege, as he simply lounges about in the sun as if nothing is wrong.

“It seems you liked my perfume sample enough to procure a rip off of it, but not enough to write.” You state coolly, watching the pale elf as he snaps his eyes open to study you. You notice him thinking, no doubt calculating some sort of smooth response.

“You can save the piss-poor excuses, Astarion.” You sigh, now reaching into your pack, trying to find the small vial of perfume oil you’d had inside your robes when that ship snatched you up. You open the vial and take a deep breath, basking in the comfort of familiarity.

It smelled like home. Like your quaint little townhome, in Waterdeep. Too bad scents can’t transport you back in time… at least not literally. 

There are a few beats of silence as Astarion watches you.

“I do apologize for not recognizing you before, and for not writing…” He begins, slowly, as if trying to soothe a wild animal, “I lost your card. I have a tendency to be… forgetful. And I lose things a lot. But, I did quite like the scent, as you can tell.”

You nod, acknowledging the apology but not willing to acquiesce any further. You cannot decipher if Astarion’s words are the truth or if they are simply honeyed lines meant to subdue you. Your pinky finger presses against the perfume bottle’s rim and you rub a bit of the fragranced liquid behind your ears.

The wind shifts, blowing your thick, dark hair forward around your face, obscuring your vision. You cap the small vial and then quickly tie your hair back. When you are able to see again, Astarion is almost gawking at you, scarlet eyes blown wide in surprise. 

He shifts and recovers quickly, jerking his gaze away and running a hand through his windswept curls. When he speaks, his voice has a manufactured, airy nonchalance to it, “It is quite windy out here, isn’t it?”

You don’t respond, and he turns to face you once again. His jaw tenses for a moment, and then he leans back, assessing you once more. He tries another tactic.

“That is… another lovely scent that you’re wearing.” He murmurs, and this time, the genuine, hesitant intrigue in his voice catches you off guard.

“Thank you,” You begin, and despite yourself, you are flattered by his statement. You truly love when others notice and compliment the artistry of your craft. You shrug and offer the vial to Astarion. Perhaps a small olive branch is due, if the two of you are stuck tethered together for who knows how long. 

The rogue takes the bottle and inhales the fragrance, and then he emits a noise that sounds something like a soft moan or groan. It’s a deep, uninhibited sound from the back of his throat, almost as if he’s absolutely losing himself in the scent. When he focuses on you again, there’s a relaxed look in his eyes paired with a soft, unguarded smile. It reminds you of the way he looked at you in your parent’s tavern. 

“Delicious…” He murmurs, his tone dropping into that salacious one he’d used on you at the tavern all those years ago, when asking if you planned to murder someone with poisons. Something about the way he said the word while staring directly into your eyes, his pupils blown from the fragrance he’d just inhaled, made your face grow hot.

You aren’t interested in a rake, and you won’t be fooled again, you remind yourself. No matter how beautiful the bastard truly is. 

You extend your hand out, motioning for the vial and he obliges with a disappointed tut.

“It’s a combination of lavender, sage, and vanilla.” You explain, tucking the precious vial back into your pack.

“And what else? There’s something else, isn’t there? It’s the same thing that was in the sample you gave me.” He responds, eyebrow cocked in curiosity.

You laugh in genuine surprise, “Good nose. Are you trying to steal my recipe so that when you return to Baldur’s Gate, you can have an exact duplication instead of the lesser version you have now, Astarion?”

You are partly joking, partly serious. 

The elf shakes his head, brows crinkling together in absent thought, “No… merely curious, I suppose. I’ve never smelt anything quite like your concoctions. I have to admit the memory of the scent from that night has… stayed with me. I would have written to you to tell you as much, if I could have. If I hadn’t… lost your card.”

You squint your eyes. There is something genuine in Astarion’s statement, despite the strange excuse about losing the card. Sure, he may have truly lost it. But then, he could have simply returned to the Drunken Dragon and asked your cousin for your address.

The next time you visited your family on holiday, after your conversation with the rake, your cousin indicated the elf hadn’t been by since that night. When you asked about Astarion every year, feigning nonchalance, your family always indicated he hadn’t been seen. 

It was almost as if he were avoiding the Drunken Dragon altogether for those three years.

You’d ultimately assumed he moved away… or perhaps died, murdered by one of his jealous lovers.

“It’s dragonsblood… just a drop.” You admit, eyeing the silver-haired elf with suspicious curiosity.

A sudden bark of laughter escapes Astarion’s lips. And then his head tips back and he positively cackles in a mixture of amusement and delight. He seems to find this information exceptionally hilarious. Your brows stitch together in confusion as you watch the rogue chortle.

Sure, it was an unusual additive. But it wasn’t exactly hilarious, was it? 

“Dragonsblood!” He exclaims, clapping his hands together in front of him as his eyes crinkle with mirth, “How… unique. You are quite the artist, Demetria.”

You feel the flush rise in your cheeks at the compliment while you murmur another thank you. Surely he’s flattering you, trying to ingratiate himself and hoping you’ll forgive his slight against you, isn’t he? 

Astarion’s eyes flit between yours now, and he hums in thought, “You look… different. From my memory at the tavern.”

“Really? Well you didn’t actually remember me at all until the parasite helped you, so I’m not quite sure how reliable your memory of me is. You look the same as I remember.” You deadpan, instantly trying to deflect from his observation. 

You know what he means… the ring hadn’t just affected your mind. It has permanently altered the color of your eyes into a strange purple, reminiscent of the cosmos itself. But you aren’t ready to share anything about your patron or the damn ring with anyone else just yet.

Astarion cocks his head, and he is about to say something more, but then Gale is bursting back through the brush. His eyes are wide with apprehension as he looks between you and the rogue. The concerned expression on your otherwise affable campmate causes everyone in the vicinity to quickly rise to their feet.

Gale grimaces as he addresses his new traveling companions with some level of unease, “I think you all might want to see this.”

And then he disappears back into the brush without another word. Part of you thinks you shouldn’t follow him, but you do anyway. After all, how could this possibly get stranger than it already is? 

Your patron is laughing again. Poor little apothecary, you have no idea.

[utilitycaster]

Well now im curious, what are your top 10 etiquette violations

I'm not actually sure there are 10 tbh in that these are relatively broad - you could split them up more finely if you wanted but they cover a wide range of behavior. Also this is...a bit stream of consciousness. I do stand by 1 as the absolute Golden Rule of D&D in that it's really just so Me Me Me (more so than main character syndrome) that it's inexcusable, but like...rules 2- 6 are kind of all in the same nebulous position in my mind as are rules 7-10. 2-6 are "really bad, have a talk and be prepared to kick this person out if they don't shape up and honestly I would probably not want to hang out with them irl much if they don't shape up" and 7-10 are "maybe don't invite them to game nights but they could be okay otherwise."

Deliberately going against the general vibe of the table. This is the broadest but also obviously worst trait. If everyone else is here to play a serious playthrough of Curse of Strahd and they're all vampire hunters and whatnot and you're playing a clown in a hawaiian shirt named Jeff you are not funny; you are an asshole. I think that person who made the post of like "I'm playing D&D with my dad's friends and they're all fighters with tragic backstory and I'm a neon firbolg who resurrects our enemies and runs therapy sessions" should be beaten with hammers. Like, be unique, but if everyone else is going for a lighthearted vibe it's not time to bust out your darkest PC and vice versa. (This also goes deeper, like, if your table has decided PC death in-game is okay, you can request a change, but if you've never spoken up about this and then your character dies and you pitch a fit, that's on you.)

"Um actually my rich family solves this" and similar circumventing of obstacles in a way that cuts off all story avenues. It's fine to offer your services to help - sometimes the party will want it! But the worst player I've played with (who still did not violate Item 1) did this and short-circuited like 75% of the plot by being like "well my wealthy merchant family can probably smooth this over" and I wanted to, well, beat them with hammers. Brian Murphy of Naddpod calls this "showing up and trying not to play D&D" and he's right.

Closely related to/overlapping with item 2 but Main Character Syndrome. If you're a wizard and there's a nonurgent trial of strength? that is for the barbarian. If they ask for help, go for it, but don't just do everything. Share the table. Self-explanatory but man do some people not get it. I'm also grouping this with "my character wouldn't help" behaviors. Like to be clear, forgoing your turn as a roleplay thing is fine, but another Naddpod D&D Court regular topic is like "the player for whatever reason would not join combat bc their character wouldn't, and we nearly had a tpk because the encounter assumed our fucking cleric would be there".

Actually violating player agency. Closely relating to 2-3. Conflict is great and good. I think it's fine to lie, cheat, and steal from your party members if your table agrees on that. There are spells or abilities that lead to possession which is also valid if your table has talked through that. But you do not get to otherwise like, force another player character to do your bidding (unless your table has, again, decided this is okay). You cannot persuasion check other PCs into going against their desires unless that's a very specific conversation you've had out of character as a table. Even in game, like, the DC on persuasion checks can be arbitrarily high - even impossible - if someone would simply never do it.

Noncombat/non-violent D&D. There are other TTRPGs that are not heavily based on war games with character classes that aren't like 90% battle abilities and you should check those out. Anyone who plays noncombat/nonviolent D&D and is proud of it is dumb as the bag of hammers I'm beating the people of items 1 and 2 for and I don't respect them. I guess this isn't so much an etiquette violation in that if your entire table wants this you can all be terrible together, but it is kind of a dick move, especially since I both love D&D and find the anti-D&D crowd to largely be the most sour grapes-ass losers of all time, but also believe passionately that there are many things D&D does not achieve well because it is in fact a specific game with specific objectives. You should, if you want to play a game that is all social encounters and skill checks and no fighting, play the many indie games that would love your patronage and suit you admirably, not the most neutered, milquetoast, unsalted margarine version of D&D. I genuinely believe that people playing murderhobos or hardcore metagamers are VASTLY preferable.

Not making a good faith effort to know the rules. You do not have to be good at D&D. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting for not knowing every rule of D&D. You only have to let the soft animal of your body have at least read the rules of your character's class, subclass, and race, and show up prepared, instead of being like "tee hee I listened to 5 episodes of TAZ Balance and am going to twirl my hair at the DM and hope they help little old me." The DM is BUSY and has SHIT TO DO. Read the fucking manual. It's okay to be wrong! It's not okay to be clueless on purpose.

Rules for Thee and Not For Me. Mostly a DM thing, and to be clear, the DM does have special rules bc they are the special one and this is obviously not about that. There are also rules that apply to NPCs/stat blocks and not PCs, and those are inherent to the balance of the game and are fine because NPCs have different abilities. But if, for example, you are requiring an athletics check of PCs to climb up on a ledge and don't permit acrobatics, your rogue NPC villain can't do acrobatics either unless they have some specific pre-written ability.

Metagaming pt 1: excessive metagaming: Part 2 will reveal the "excessive" but like. If you know trolls regenerate because you've been playing D&D for years but you are a level 4 INT 8 sorcerer in-game? you do not know trolls regenerate.

Metagaming pt 2: refusal to engage with the fact that this is a game: Sometimes you get the reverse, when people are like "well my character wouldn't realize that this magic item was important to your character" despite the other person RP-ing everything or "would I notice you were knocked out directly in front of me? It's a pitched battle!" Like. don't cheat but come on bro. This is, ultimately, a game. I will once again bring up Naddpod both because D&D Court exists AND they will do rule of funny shit (as Murph once pointed out, if you want to say you go to Ruby Tuesday's as a joke, great, if you try to use it mechanically, no, which is a healthy attitude towards immersion) AND Murph understands the concept of kayfabe.

Really extensive indecision that doesn't involve the whole party. This is mostly me but like. it's not fun, and I am impatient. If you're not an actual play livestream, you should take a break and in fact talk out of game and resume because god this drags. If everyone's on board obviously go for it but if it's one person's choice...babe the spotlight is on you, sing your solo or leave.

Basically: remember you are at a table with other people and you are telling a collaborative story in a system that is combat-heavy. I'm not bothered by (for example) someone stealing another character's item so long as they understand that this may lead to consequences for them! If you can dish it out but you're prepared to take it and your table trusts each other? Great! The problem is when people try to win against the other players, ask for special treatment they do not grant others, waste everyone's time unnecessarily, or skip to the end of the story; that's against the fundamental nature of the game. It's inconsiderate AND it misses the point.

[thisisnotthenerd]

guess who's back! that's right, it's another edition of thisisnotthenerd's d20 stats. this time we're talking level progression.

a few disclaimers: this is only inclusive of initial and final levels. i may go through each season to find the exact points of change and the full progression at some point, but not right now. i don't have the time for that. this is already incredibly long with just initial and final levels. anyways:

level progressions

these are sorted into a couple of categories: major level progressions, minor level progressions, nonprogression seasons, and nonleveled seasons (which basically just means they are non dnd seasons).

to start we have:

major level progression seasons

this includes most of the intrepid heroes' seasons, plus a couple of sidequests that had or are in the process of having major level changes. major level changes means the party levels up two or more levels during the season. without further ado:

fantasy high freshman year: this season had a fairly standard progression; everyone starting from level one, milestone leveling with each battle until they hit level 8 for the finale.

fig faeth:

initial level: bard 1

final level: whispers bard 8

gorgug thistlespring:

initial level: barbarian 1

final level: berserker barbarian 1

adaine abernant:

initial level: wizard 1

final level: divination wizard 8

fabian seacaster:

initial level: fighter 1

final level: champion fighter 8

kristen applebees:

initial level: life cleric 1

final level: life cleric 8

riz gukgak:

initial level: rogue 1

final level: inquisitive rogue 8

the unsleeping city: this season follows a similar progression to fantasy high--the characters just start at level 3 instead of level 1. this let them start with subclasses and a more features that let them swing harder in battle earlier.

ricky matsui:

initial level: devotion paladin 3

final level: devotion paladin 10

sofia lee:

initial level: drunken master monk 3

final level: drunken master monk 8 | hexblade warlock 2

kingston brown:

initial level: city cleric 3

final level: city cleric 10

misty moore/rowan berry:

initial level: lore bard 3

final level: lore bard 10

kugrash:

initial level: shepherd druid 3

final level: shepherd druid 10

pete conlan:

initial level: wild magic sorcerer 3

final level: wild magic sorcerer 10

a crown of candy: this season was a little different because of the initial party composition--the adults started at level 3, while liam and the twins started at levels 2 and 1 respectively. the entry points of cumulous and saccharina obviously affected their starting levels, since they had to match the party at the point of entry. there was also more multiclassing and subclass switches for story reasons this season. just a bit more complexity as d20 itself got more complex.

liam wilhelmina: the most effective subclass switch i think ever. he became a war guy.

initial level: ranger 2 (took beastmaster after 1st battle)

final level: gloomstalker ranger 6 | assassin rogue 4

theobald gumbar:

initial level: eldritch knight 3

final level: eldritch knight 10

jet rocks: she started in rogue with martial adept to match ruby, multiclassed into fighter and dropped her rogue level before she died.

initial level: rogue 1

final level: battlemaster fighter 7

ruby rocks:

initial level: rogue 1

final level: arcane trickster rogue 9 | shadow sorcerer 1

amethar rocks:

initial level: storm herald barbarian 3

final level: storm herald barbarian 5 | battlemaster fighter 5

lapin cadbury:

initial level: celestial warlock 3

final level: celestial warlock 5

cumulous rocks: came in as a cloud, cried over magic, killed chickens for temp hp

initial level: long death monk 6

final level: long death monk 10

saccharina frostwhip: a powerful queen

initial level: storm sorcerer 6 | tempest cleric 2

final level: storm sorcerer 8 | tempest cleric 2

the unsleeping city chapter 2: only a couple of subclass switches this season, but more new characters that played in the multiclass space.

ricky matsui:

initial level: redemption paladin 12

final level: redemption paladin 10

sofia lee:

initial level: shadow monk 8 | hexblade warlock 2

final level: shadow monk 10 | hexblade warlock 2

kingston brown:

initial level: city cleric 10

final level: city cleric 12

iga lisowski: she comes in statted with the party, but it tracks because she's been the steward of a magic Polish dragon box for decades.

initial level: genie warlock 10

final level: genie warlock 10 | draconic sorcerer 2

rowan berry: she comes in late and so only really has the opportunity to start at level 12

initial level: lore bard 12

final level: lore bard 12

cody walsh: can you imagine your intro to magic being selling your soul to a lesser devil and instantly jumping to level 10. he's so bad at everything that it balances. the athletics checks? insane. absolute loser of a mall goth sword guy. a time capsule of the year 2003.

initial level: oathbreaker paladin 10

final level: oathbreaker paladin 12

pete conlan:

initial level: wild magic sorcerer 10

final level: wild magic sorcerer 12

a starstruck odyssey: this season isn't precisely DND and so works a little differently. the party started with level differences: all nonhumans started at level 3, the humans started at level 2, and gunnie was level 1. i think this was indicative of the fact that a) takamori leveled up by getting brain slugged, b) margaret leveled up by undergoing a quarter-life crisis, and c) gunnie probably joined the ship more recently. they also have ship deployments that they take levels in to be able to competently run a ship. deployments are indicated in [brackets] like so.

gunnie miggles-rashbax:

initial level: engineer 1 [mechanic 1]

final level: engineer 6 [mechanic 3]

riva:

initial level: suggestion consular 3 [coordinator 1]

final level: suggestion consular 6 [coordinator 3]

norman 'skip' takamori

initial level: operative 2 [pilot 1]

final level: lethality operative 6 [pilot 3]

margaret encino:

initial level: scholar 2 [operator 1]

final level: politician pursuit scholar 6 [operator 3]

sundry sidney:

initial level: corsair sentinel 3 [gunner 1]

final level: corsair sentinel 6 [gunner 3]

big barry syx:

initial level: ballistic berserker 3 [gunner 1]

final level: ballistic berserker 6 [gunner 3]

neverafter: this season marks the first level 1 party since fantasy high, and also follows a similar level progression pattern. however, they got episode 3'd, and so skipped levels 2 & 3. they woke up with subclasses. the baba yaga also helped them skip from level 6 to level 8 iirc.

rosamund du prix

initial level: ranger 1

final level: swarmkeeper ranger 5 | stars druid 2 | fighter 1

mother timothy goose:

initial level: bard 1

final level: lore bard 8

pinocchio:

initial level: archfey warlock 1

final level: destiny (homebrew) warlock 8

puss in boots (pib):

initial level: rogue 1

final level: mastermind rogue 8

gerard of greenleigh:

initial level: fighter 1

final level: battlemaster fighter 8

ylfa snorgelsson:

initial level: barbarian 1

final level: bear totem barbarian 6 | moon druid 2

the ravening war: here's where the distinction between 'leveled up two or more times' and leveled up two or more levels' has to be made. technically there's really only one major change during the season, but they go from level 4-5 to level 9, so it's counted as a significant jump.

delissandro katzon: this is the second time lou wilson has played a fighter barbarian in calorum. truly i would have two nickels. also the second time he's played a champion fighter that switched to battlemaster and multiclassed. really starting to collect nickels here.

initial level: champion fighter 5

final level: battlemaster fighter 8 | barbarian 1

raphaniel charlock: i don't feel like tracking his titles. also he has so many feats. dear god.

initial level: eloquence bard 4 | rogue 1

final level: eloquence bard 6 | rogue 3

karna solara: the third triple multiclass in d20 history. the only characters that i can think of that are of equivalent assassin vibes are liam, gangie, and skip.

initial level: whispers bard 3 | great old one warlock 2

final level: phantom rogue 4 | whispers bard 3 | great old one warlock 2

colin provolone: oh what a guy. a traditional mercenary if you ever saw one

initial level: battlemaster fighter 3 | rogue 2

final level: battlemaster fighter 6 | swashbuckler rogue 3

lady amangeaux epiceé du peche: she starts lower level than the rest of the party because she's more naive and less prepared for the intrigue and assassination plots. she's the only to not multiclass in this season. the only one.

initial level: arcane trickster rogue 4

final level: arcane trickster rogue 9

burrow's end: i know that it's the ongoing season, but evidenced by the fact that they double leveled up in episode 2, i have a feeling this is going to be a major leveling season. i'm anticipating level 10 as a stopping point, but who knows where they go from here.

tula: stoat mom as a feat is all i'm going to say

initial level: redemption paladin 4

final level: ?

jaysohn: adhd karate boy, or all stoats in a nutshell

initial level: astral self monk 4

final level: ?

viola: the embryonic diapause storyline is going to kill me, i can feel it.

initial level: devotion paladin 4

final level: ?

thorn vale: anxious wife guy cult leader is something i didn't know i needed until now, but i'm so glad that that's where jasper went with him.

initial level: fey wanderer ranger 4

final level: ?

ava: if generational trauma was a stoat. the commitment to the werther's? phenomenal.

initial level: ancestral guardians barbarian 3 | fighter

final level: ?

lila: i'm living for izzy as a stoat that can sneak attack people and read???

initial level: inquisitive rogue 4

final level: ?

and that's all of the major progression seasons. with that concluded, we move into:

minor level progression seasons

as stated earlier, these seasons really only have one major level change as opposed to the progressive milestones of the major leveling seasons. i think that comes down to a couple of things: 1) they all start as midlevel characters who are reasonably powerful 2) two of these are 10 episode seasons that had less time to do progressive leveling than most of the intrepid heroes' seasons, and 3) the timeline of the level ups really only makes sense for one level change, especially since they start out of the low levels that shift easily. fhfy is like a week and a half in universe, t7 and acofaf are each like a week. anyways, here it is:

fantasy high sophomore year: mostly carried over from fhfy to start, with one major level but we really got into multiclassing and subclass switches for story here, i think in part because running live sessions is inherently a little more spontaneous than a pre-recorded season.

fig faeth:

initial level: whispers bard 6 | hexblade warlock 2

final level: lore bard 6 | hexblade warlock 3

gorgug thistlespring:

initial level: berserker barbarian 8

final level: berserker barbarian 8 | artificer 1

adaine abernant:

initial level: divination wizard 8

final level: divination wizard 9

fabian seacaster:

initial level: champion fighter 8

final level: battlemaster fighter 6 | swords bard 3

kristen applebees:

initial level: life cleric 8

final level: twilight cleric 9

riz gukgak:

initial level: inquisitive rogue 8

final level: inquisitive rogue 9

the seven: the ladies are here! they start at the level 9 baseline set by the end of fhsy and hit level 10 in like a week. granted the second half of the season is almost all encounters--three double episode battles total, with two in the back half.

antiope jones: the reluctant leader, not that kind of ranger. a choice aabria character. sometimes i think about the fact that both of aabria's spyre characters could conceivably meet, and it's not even that contrived. myrtle is sam's cousin.

initial level: arcane archer fighter 6 | monster slayer ranger 3

final level: arcane archer fighter 6 | monster slayer ranger 4

katja cleaver: half horse girl, half childhood neglect and abandonment, half rekha shankar's brand of ttrpg decisions.

initial level: battlemaster fighter 9

final level: battlemaster fighter 9 | barbarian 1

penny luckstone: eldest daughter syndrome to the max. deeply funny. an incredible rogue, even if she feeds old men horse meat candy hearts.

initial level: arcane trickster rogue 9

final level: arcane trickster rogue 10

danielle barkstock: actually erika ishii's second shepherd druid. they really like summoning geese, spiders, pixies, and various creatures that can absolutely ruin brennan's day. with a side of no self-care.

initial level: shepherd druid 9

final level: shepherd druid 10

ostentatia wallace: she lives up to the name. the forge cleric i want to be when i grow up.

initial level: forge cleric 9

final level: forge cleric 10

sam nightingale: a masterwork in character building, from a mechanical and story standpoint. i love the use of eldritch adept to maintain the build and keep with the story during their level up.

initial level: storm sorcerer 6 | glamour bard 3

final level: storm sorcerer 6 | glamour bard 4

zelda donovan: my girl! the other fighter barb of the group, but built in the opposite direction. also 55 movement speed? by god she can hustle.

initial level: eagle totem barbarian 8 | fighter 1

final level: eagle totem barbarian 8 | fighter 2

a court of fey and flowers: this season starts in a similar place to the seven with midlevel characters and levels up mostly for story reasons. it's a little more important to track reputation by episode, but i don't have the time for that at the moment.

andhera: hot, but built mid according to omar. an ace he/they king. never actually levels up, probably because they avoid conflict by beign a slippery pillar boy in wet cotton pants.

initial level: devotion paladin 8

final level: devotion paladin 8

k.p. hob: triple multiclass, builds on brennan's theme of self-sacrificial characters who don't think love can find them.

initial level: battlemaster fighter 6 | rogue 1 | barbarian 1

final level: battlemaster fighter 6 | rogue 2 | barbarian 1

lady chirp featherfowl: an assassin wizard with bird puns, a wife and daughter, and no regard for her reputation.

initial level: bladesinger wizard 8

final level: bladesinger wizard 9

lord squak airavis: the sluttiest bird you'll ever meet. the author of the green hunter. they got renner.

initial level: lore bard 8

final level: lore bard 9

delloso de la rue: made me cry when i watched them come out. the outfits. the pizzazz. the 'i love him'. the miscommunications. an icon. doesn't use subclass features, so we'll never know.

initial level: bard 8

final level: bard 9

binx choppley: another fantastic reveal. a single mom who works two jobs, but she's a warlock patron and trying to revive her dead court while masquerading as her friend while said friend dates her warlock on the material plane. truly who is doing it like them.

initial level: arcane trickster rogue 8

final level: arcane trickster rogue 9

now that we're through with the minor progression seasons, let's look at the single-level seasons.

nonprogression seasons

there's variance in these--there's not really a consistent start level. they go low level when they need to and high level when they need to. the lack of progression here also indicates timeline and season length: most of these are 4-6 episodes, and all of these seasons happen over the span of about a day or two in-game.

escape from the bloodkeep: d20's highest level season to date. unbelievable shenanigans, deeply funny. it's also fun for me to note that d20 and cr both have their morally dubious seasons that start and end at level 14 (eftbk and exu calamity) but they end up in literal opposite ends of the comedy/tragedy scale.

maggie (magfelda):

level: berserker barbarian 14

leiland (kraz-thun):

level: hexblade warlock 14

efink murderdeath:

level: grave cleric 14

sokhbarr:

level: beastmaster ranger 14

lilith:

level: shepherd druid 14

markus st. vincent

level: swashbuckler rogue 14

tiny heist:

rick diggins: the most charisma rogue i think you can get. negative dex and strength? grifter

level: mastermind rogue 4

boomer coleoptera: his subclass is unknown--it's never really mentioned during the season. it's theorized that he may be a battlemaster. the muscle

level: fighter 4

agnes: she also doesn't use any subclass specific features during the season. the other grifter

level: bard 4

ti-83: what a little fount of violence. the techie/explosive specialist

level: artillerist artificer 4

bean: the grease with a bone to pick

level: shadow monk 4

car-go jones: the mastermind, even though he's not a mastermind rogue. the danny ocean.

level: inquisitive rogue 4

pirates of leviathan: this entire season happens pretty much in the course of 24 hours. a good chunk of that time is just spent having a spa night at the gold gardens. who is doing it like them. everyone in this party can do magic.

sunny biscotto:

level: devotion paladin 5

bob (barbarella sarsaparilla gainglynn):

level: lore bard 3 | city cleric 2

cheese:

level: necromancy wizard 5

myrtle (the bitch):

level: tempest cleric 5

jack brakkow:

level: ancestral guardians barbarian 5

marcid the typhoon:

level: gloomstalker ranger 5

mice & murder: the oops all rogues season. for a low level season there are some astronomical dcs here. it really does a lot to show off the range of subclasses. all of them have dramatically different abilities, when they're not competing.

gangie green:

level: thief rogue 3

buckster $ boyd:

level: mastermind rogue 3

daisy d'umpstaire:

level: assassin rogue 3

vicar ian prescott:

level: eloquence bard 3

lars vandenchomp:

level: battlemaster fighter 3

sylvester cross:

level: inquisitive rogue 3

coffin run: this season is actually another one with mixed leveling--maybe to indicate time spent with dracula, maybe to level out powers on from a spellcasting level

aleksandr astrovsky:

level: alchemist artificer 7

squing:

level: undead warlock 8

wetzel:

level: mastermind rogue 7

may wong:

level: shadow sorcerer 6

dungeons and drag queens: i'm fairly sure they filmed this season in one shot. a great intro to dnd and the mechanics of level 5 characters.

troyánn:

level: arcane archer fighter 5

princess foehammer:

level: berserker barbarian 5

gertrude:

level: shadow sorcerer 5

twyla:

level: gloomstalker ranger 5

fantasy high oneshots: this is just the one-off characters from the fh oneshots. both of these characters show up in between freshman and sophomore year and so land at level 8.

hargis:

level: brute fighter 8

ficus:

level: dreams druid 8

and last but not least, we have the non-DnD seasons that have no level progressions:

misfits and magic

shriek week

mentopolis

and that's all folks! this one got so long. as always the spreadsheet is open to perusal. i hope you like it!

[amica-aenigmata-naboo]

COLLISION

Astarion x Y/N - Chapter 2 - 2.5K WC

Masterlist

Chapter 1

Chapter 2 (you are here!)

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5 NSFW 18+

Chapter 6 NSFW 18+

Chapter 7 NSFW 18+

-------------------

Magic was tougher than it looked. It felt like the most grueling full body workout. “Well, you’ve got enough to get you through a very short… heavily aided battle.” Shadowheart said, it sounded like the best backhanded compliment. 

“Can we be done for the day?” You asked, cracking your neck and stretching your back. “Please?”

Gale smiled and waved you off, “Just for today, we’ll need you in battle soon enough. Best you have a few tricks up your sleeve to survive… A word of advice, seek out Lae’zel, have her show you combat training. The Githyanke are -”

“Excellent warriors, I know.” you stated without thinking.

Gale’s face faltered for a moment before relaxing “Precisely, she’s the best to learn from.” he clapped his hand on your shoulder before walking back to his tent.

Shadowheart was walking back to her tent but gave you a smile and mouthed “good luck” towards you. 

You took a deep breath and walked to Lae’zel’s tent. Feet practically made of lead the way the anxiety made them drag. You stopped in front of her not looking up.

“Speak” was all she said.

“I’d like to spar with you… have you teach me how to fight… so I’m not just a useless cleric.” Your lip twitched up at the end of your sentence. Finally raising your gaze, Lae’zel looked at you and crossed her arms. 

“Fine. I suppose you can use this.” She said handing you what you recognized as “The Cruel Sting” sword from the drider, Kar’niss. 

You clutched the sword and followed Lae’zel to the center of the camp where she unceremoniously body checked you, knocking you onto your back with a groan.

“The Hell was that for?!” you yelled at her.

“Your enemy will not fight fair, you need to know brutality if you wish to fight.” she said as she unsheathed her sword.

You stood and held your sword. Nothing had ever felt more out of place. This wasn't a Renaissance Festival, this was real and you had to learn this to survive. You took a deep breath, closing your eyes and praying a collective prayer to any deity listening. You opened your eyes, the first strike of many clanged against your sword.

Shit.

________________________ 

Metal collides well past sundown. Lae’zel had run you ragged. You were currently trying to shove her back. She put her foot behind yours and shoved, sending you crashing onto your back.

“Have you learned nothing?!” she yelled so loudly everyone else in the camp was watching now. “Your enemy will not hesitate to kill you. You shall offer them no such mercy either!” she continued to yell.

That's it. That’s what broke the camel's back. Rage consumes you after being beaten down for hours. Your hand reached slowly for the small blade tucked into your breast pocket. Lae’zel put her sword to your neck to demand your surrender. You raised your hands. Lae’zel began putting her sword away and that's when you struck. You kicked her closest ankle and sent her falling. Dagger in your hand, you rolled on top of Lae’zel, straddling her hips and pressing the blade to her throat. She gawked at you, she was speechless. 

“Never assume the war is over because the battle was lost.” you said with hate in your voice but a proud smile on your face. 

Lae’zel gave the faintest smirk before taping the handle of the blade, signifying she surrendered. Both of you got up slowly. Lae’zel extended her arm. You stared at it in disbelief but your arm went to hers. Holding each other's forearms she shook it once firmly before saying, “Cleric, you may survive us yet.” she let go of your arm, walking to the bonfire as the meat roasting smelled as if it was almost done. 

Karlach walked over to you, “That’s as close as you’ll ever get to her saying you’re friends now.” she laughed. “You’ve improved a lot in one day. It’s going to be nice having you around soldier.” she patted your back before she herself walked to the campfire. 

You smiled watching her walk away. Glancing at Gale and Wyll they both gave you smiles, Gale giving a soft clap and Wyll a thumbs up. You walked back to your new tent that Karlach had set up for you while you were in the weave. It wrapped around the tree you slept on last night. A bedroll, some candles, and a small table with a lamp softly flickering. The flamed danced shadows across your tent, you laid on your bedroll momentarily, watching the shadows. Quickly, before you got too comfortable, you stood and began your walk to the stream. Your body ached but in a satisfactory way. Maybe you could be an adventurer. At least until you got back home. You shed your camp clothes at the shore, looking back and making sure everyone was at camp. You could hear them eating and telling stories  around the fire. You waded into the stream until it reached your ribs. You sat against a boulder in the stream. The water rushing around you felt calming, as if the water was trying to massage the ache out of you. You brushed water over your face and hair before leaning your head back and closing your eyes. Trying to connect to the earth around you, searching for a blissful escape in the elements even if only for a moment. 

---------------------

Astarion watched you from behind a tree near the shore and his tent. He didn’t mean to spy on you. He honestly thought he saw a fae or siren wade into the water, your body enchanting him. He watched you wade to the boulder finding some sort of solace in it. You leaned there unmoving for what felt like hours. 

Sad

That's what rang out in Astarion’s mind. The tadpole saying what your mind must have been screaming. He felt that unfamiliar pang in his chest again. He wanted to… comfort you? He didn’t even know what that would look like. Was it like seduction just… less? He both wanted to know and despised the thought of knowing.

Without realizing it, he had drifted off and he refocused on your form trudging back to the shore. He knew what he had to do to get rid of the pang in his chest. Crush it. Crush you. The very thought hurt him somehow but he knew it had to be done. He walked out from behind the tree heading towards the shore. Your back was facing him, your shirt and underwear on but nothing else. He adored the way the moonlight made your shirt cast a shadow of your body. He noticed every curve, dimple, freckle… he noticed them all. 

---------------------

“Oh! Astarion…” you jumped when you heard the rocks behind you shift. Your hands flew all over your body trying to cover up but not sure what exactly to cover. He grabbed your hip when you started to move backwards. You glanced at his hand before looking at his face, your eyebrows scrunched together. Astarion hadn’t exactly been the most welcoming in the camp so what was this? Hand still on your hip he possessively pulled you to his chest, his opposite hand tilting your chin up so your lips were a breath away from each other. Your whole body felt like cement and lava at the same time. Your eyes watched his every move. 

“A bath with no invite? Darling, you wound me.” he whispered onto your lips. You sucked in an unintentionally sharp breath when he leaned forwards and smashed his lips to yours. He was rough despite his gentle grasp on your chin. He continued to kiss you, nipping at your lower lip.

“Ouch!” you yipped, pushing his chest away. 

“Come now darling you cannot be so delicate…” he said seductively.

You backed up and held your arm out in front of you to put a physical barrier between you. “Astarion, stop.” You said as your finger smoothed over the nip on your lip that had drawn the smallest bit of blood. 

Now it was his turn to freeze, “What? Why? Is something wrong?” He asked. He almost sounded… annoyed? Instead of concern which you would expect from a lover. 

You knew enough about Astarion from your progress in Baldur's Gate III that he was trying to manipulate you by sleeping with you. It saddened you. He might not like you much in reality but you would still protect him like everyone else in your party. Your face gave a painful squeeze before you swallowed it all down. You put your arm down, picking up your pants, boots, and vest. “Astarion… you don’t truly want this. I’ll umm… I’ll see you at camp.” You whispered out. 

-----------------------

The world seemed to be so still and quiet down by the stream. Astarion heard every syllable. He watched you leave quickly and did he detect… a quiver in your voice? Why would you be upset about him trying to fuck you? Why did you say “you don’t truly want this��? He didn’t want it, but how did you know that? He walked back to his tent glumly. After seeing you take down Lae’zel he thought you might not be so bad to have under his thumb. Why would you reject him? He saw himself for the first time in 200 years that morning so he knew for a fact he was still beautiful, fangs and all. He wracked his brain but couldn’t come up with an answer to why his plan didn’t work on you. It works on everyone else. 

A bitter seed was planted inside him. He watched your form move around camp for the rest of the night. Eyes never meeting his. He watched you talk with the others. Sing with Wyll. attempt to dance with Karlach. Everyone wore soft smiles, even Lae’zel which was rare. A warmth was spread around the camp. As if the air was made of warm honey. Suffocating you in the best way possible. Rested and comfortable is what it was.

He wanted so desperately to be a part of it. And yet, that bitter seed took root and every thought of you suddenly felt like rot and decay. Finding the bad and none of the good. Making you the cause of such ire. He wanted to be rid of you. He thought of the item you had, the “mirror” he used. Had you told the others about that? What would they think of it? He could twist it to make you look like the villain, he was sure of it. 

------------------

“”Y/N darling…” 

Your head snapped to Astarion who had silently managed to sit across from you at the bonfire. Your head swirled a bit, whatever Karlach was drinking had some twang to it that's for sure. You were drunk and the warm glow of the fire made you feel like a cat in a sunbeam.

“Astarion darling…” you giggled back.

“Have you told our dear friends about your powerful little tool?” he batted his eyelashes at you but a devious smirk laid across his lips. 

Everyone's eyes slowly drifted to you and lord did you feel them on you.

“I… I showed Gale.” you rushed out. You weren’t hiding it. Not truly. You just didn’t know how to tell them what a phone was without having to tell them about your… well… life? And how to you, they were a mere video game. That they didn’t actually exist. That's a little tough to deliver. Especially while drunk. 

“Yes! She had me repower it.” Gale chimed in. 

“Oh it needs magic to power itself? Sounds dangerous if you ask me…” 

Now everyone's eyes were not only looking at you but focused on you, scanning you over for any potential danger. You slowly reached into your bedroll. Your phone lit up and everyone kept a strong hold on their weapons. 

“I… it is a power source… but it only powers itself. It’s not dangerous I swear…. It’s used to communicate where I’m from.” you quickly defended yourself.

“And where is that exactly?” Astarion hummed.

Your skin was crawling, you felt how unsteady your stomach was, a cold sweat coating your back, your hands shaking, and dear god you were fighting the urge to spill tears. All out of sheer anxiety. You didn’t want to lie, but you didn’t know how to tell the truth either. 

“I… I’m… not from here. Or Baldur’s Gate. Or Faerûn. I’m… I’m from somewhere far away. I’m not sure how to explain it.” you choked out. The tears slipped out but you quickly wiped them away and looked at your new friends, hoping they’d believe you but not push for more answers either. 

“How mysterious.” Astarion jested. “Care to show up what it does so we know it isn’t dangerous?” 

You looked down at the phone before looking at everyone around you. You had no idea if this would have some sort of butterfly effect or alter reality but you didn’t really care. These people were your best hope, you needed them and were in no position to test their patience. You looked down, defeated. You agreed, turning the phone on you opened the camera app. 

“I can use it to see people… and take portraits of them instantly.” you softly explained before taking a picture of yourself and then showing them all the picture. They looked impressed, borderline shocked. 

“Anything else?” Astarion asked, sounding unamused. 

You opened your music app and clicked on classical music, thinking that would be somewhat close to the music they know. Playing strauss II - voices of spring you turned the volume up and watched them become entranced. Karlach started swaying and humming with the melody. Everyone’s tense appearance faded and they all seemed pleased with the music. 

“Portrait machine and a music box, how delightful!” Gale spoke before drinking more wine. 

“If you all don’t mind I will retire early this evening.” you spoke softly as you got up and walked away leaving your phone as it began the classical music playlist you had saved for when you would study. Some of the group gave you nods, some were too deep in drink or conversation to notice. But Astarion did.

He saw how tightly you clasped your hands as you walked away. How your eyes were so big and full of fright. How your heartbeat sounded. Terrified.

Shit.

---------------------

He watched you from his tent as you threw rocks from the river bank into the riverbed. He could still hear your heartbeat. How strained it sounded. Like it was fighting itself. He felt wretched. He was doing what he needed to. Right? Then why did it hurt so damn bad? Why did the way the tears skimmed down your face feel like a wound to his heart? Why did he want nothing more than to go to you and whisper sweet apologies. He hates you. He has to because it is the only control he can feel at this moment. So why does the final sob he hears escaping you on the shore bring him right back to where he doesn’t want to be. He digs in his supply pack before pulling out the vile of angelic slumber. If he couldn’t meditate this away he was not above drugging himself to sleep for the night. Anything to not feel what he felt when it came to you.

Hello angels! You all were so sweet leaving me comments, likes, and reblogs. Thank you soooooo much! All that support went into overdrive so here is chapter 2! I'll be working on other chapters this week. Thank you again for all the love, I love interacting with ya'll! <3

[hwaddist]

So I had a Big Autism moment the other day so.

Here I present you: The QSMP member’s Baldur’s Gate 3 (d&d) classes

Some notes:

•I FORGOT CARRE, BUT HE WOULD BE AN ARCANE TRICKSTER ROGUE

• Honestly, Tubbo and Pierre are both artificiers but bg3 doesnt have it as a class so they’re wizzards

• Both Cellbit and Mike have Cucurucho as their patron

• My friends and I were wondering what to do with Mouse because technically speaking she’s a demon someone would make a pact with but then we decided to make her a Barbarian because she’s batshit crazy (affectionate)

• I almost made Pac a fighter but then my friend pointed out Gloom Stalker Ranger and i was like Wait. Ur right.

• the first draft didnt had rubius but I changed it after yesterdays stream

• im still not 100% convinced with archfey warlock luzu but hes still a warlock nonetheless

• im also having second thoughts about wild magic sorcerer maxo but i think im keeping it because i think its silly (sapo peta would also be a wild magic sorcerer)

• charlies the most bard to ever bard ever

• i almost made phil a tempest cleric but then my friends pointed war and i saw the light

• this whole thing started because i made bbh in bg3 as a tiefling and my mind went crazy

• mariana when him and charlie got flippa, made an oath to devote and love his family. The oath broke when he killed flippa.

[charmedcleric]

Get to know your tav!

I was tagged by the lovely @auspex-author Thank you so much for the tag!

Her name is Athena and she is my war domain cleric of eilistraee. Her character sheet is here and this post is very long so I’ll put most of it under the cut! Once I start talking about my tavs I literally can’t stop, also I talk about her relationship with rolan a little bit so that’s why he’s tagged <3

What is your tav’s….

favorite weapon?

- Athena’s favourite weapon is a longsword you find in act 1 called the Phalar Aluve

style of combat?

- She is usually in the frontline swinging her singing sword while casting spirit guardians. She also loves ambushing, as it’s a great way to get advantage over others

most prized possession?

- Athena has two lockets that she wears 24/7. One locket was a gift to her from her mother. The other locket belonged to her sister. Athena’s mother had a tradition to get each of her children a matching locket with a photo of the family in it to remind them that no matter what happens they are with them all the time. As Athena’s parents and sister had passed away she had both the lockets on her at all times to feel close to her family

deepest desire?

- To have a family of her own. She was orphaned at the age of 14 and became her little sisters full time carer. 4 years later her sister got very ill, so Athena became a cleric to help look after and heal her.

Her healing magic helped her sister stay alive for 5 years until her sister Rose succumbed to her illness and passed away. Athena felt empty as she now had no family left and she felt as if she had failed as a cleric. She would love nothing more than to have a family to call her own, yet it’s one of the things she fears most as she doesn’t want to let anyone else down

guilty pleasure?

- Athena’s guilty pleasure is gossiping, she knows she shouldn’t but she loves listening in on others business. Her, astarion and shadowheart basically have a gossiping club at this point where they tell each other all the juicy stuff

best-kept secret?

- That she is a sword dancer of eilistraee. A sword dancer is a specialized priestess (cleric) of Eilistraee. Athena had been a follower of eilistraee since she was little but once her sister died leaving her to be the last in her family, she felt as if the only thing she had left was her religion. She decided that she wanted to become a sword dancer. As she already lived on the surface becoming a sword dancer was slightly easier as to become one you must spend at least a month on the surface dancing each moonlit night for eilistraee and you had to witness dawn at least once.

She also went and offered her services at the Promenade of the Dark Maiden, she wasn’t there for long before she was taken by the nautiloid.

greatest strength?

- Her dedication, when she puts her mind to something or she wants something she will get it

fatal flaw?

- She blames herself a bit to much and she shuts down while doing it. This is seen when rolan yelled at her in the shadow lands and even after saving the tieflings from moonrise she still wasn’t herself and became very quiet for some time although she didn’t let that stop her from her task of infiltrating moonrise towers

favorite smell?

- She loves the smell of freshly baked bread, it reminds her of home when her mother would bake bread for the family in the mornings

*bit of post game lore of Athena x rolan hehe* when Rolan found this out he always made sure that there was bread being freshly baked in the kitchen each morning, nothing made him happier than seeing the smile on Athena’s face each and every morning. Of course when Athena would ask him if he was doing it for her and if he would ask them to also make some of her other fav bakery goods, he would of course deny what she said and tell her to not be greedy lmao

favorite spell or cantrip?

- She loves AOE spells such as glyph of warding and flame strike

pet peeve?

- She hates lying, she can usually see through people when it comes to lying and she makes sure that they know she isn’t happy especially if it’s someone she considers a friend or someone she has more intimate feelings for

bad habit?

- When she is nervous or stewing over something she plays with her hair and pulls out strands of her hair. The only companion that called her out on it was karlach, but as this was a habit Athena wasn’t actually aware she was doing she dismissed karlach’s worry

She was then called out by rolan which made her kinda pull back, shocked he would notice something like that (she thought he hated her) she was now well aware she was doing it and actively tries to avoid doing it. She also went and apologized to karlach for dismissing her worry

hidden talent?

- She is really good at lock picking , she likes to joke that she could give astarion a run for his money which he doesn’t agree with of course. She never lets him forget about when he was struggling to open a chest and after like 100 goes Athena had a go and immediately lock-picked it lmao (based on when astarion failed lock-picking like 20 times and then when i got Athena to have a go she got a NAT 20 lol)

leisure activity?

- Painting/drawing and singing. Before she became a cleric she would paint and sell her artwork on the city streets of waterdeep that’s how she made money to keep her and her sister alive. Now whenever she gets a free chance she will sit down and draw/paint landscapes until the sun goes down. And while she is painting she will be singing or humming along to one of her favourite songs

favorite drink?

- She loves a plain cup of coffee, she has a lot on her mind and she feels coffee helps her to relax, although some people might beg to differ

comfort food?

- Her comfort food is her mums homemade soup, whenever she has the time and ingredients she will make it as it reminds her of home and brings her immense comfort

favorite person(s)?

- Athena has multiple favourite people and all for different reasons. Her most favourite person though would have to be rolan. Even though they had a rocky relationship when they first met, Athena was nothing but nice to rolan, she admired the love he had for his family (a value she thinks is very important). They ended up getting together after the fall of the absolute.

After the fall of the brain, Athena went to rolan to catch up and to tell him that she was going back to waterdeep and well Rolan kinda lost it and confessed his feelings for her right then and there.

-Jaheira is another one of her favourite people. Athena views jaheria as a mother figure and was on the verge of tears when Jaheira first started calling her cub. Anyone around could see that Jaheira was very important to Athena and that she was the mother figure Athena wished she still had in her life

*more Athena x Rolan lore cause I’m obsessed with them lol* when Rolan was thinking of asking Athena to marry him, he went and asked Jaheira for her blessing as he knew the importance of their relationship

favored display of affection (platonic and/or romantic)?

- platonic: she loves hugs, especially giving them,

-romantic: hugs, hand holding and kisses on the cheek

fondest childhood memory?

- Playing at the local park with her family just before her parents passed away, it was one of the last times as a family and the last time she truly felt carefree and happy

free-response! Is there anything else about your Tav you'd like to share?

- She LOVES reading, once she opens a book it’s all over, you’ve lost her lol you won’t hear from her until she’s finished said book (that’s mainly cause she actually struggles to read and takes forever to finish) it’s one thing that she missed most while traveling to baldur’s gate as she had no time to just sit down and read for hours

Tagging: @esolean @lanabenikosdoormat @commander-krios @orangekittyenergy and anyone else who’d like to do it! I love reading about people’s tavs

[2manyflannels]

Octopath Traveler Characters Ranked by How Good they are at Cooking

(Objective list up for no debate I am not wrong)

/j

(From best to worse)

————————————-

-H’aanit

This is actually in the game. She’s good at cooking, or at least baking, but I feel as though it’s fair to say that it extends to cooking as well. It also makes sense. Let’s be honest, Z’aanta can’t cook for shit. I think H’aanit would rush to learn so she can provide for them just so she didn’t have to eat his cooking. Also hunts can last a long time and she probably had to do a lot of campfire/over flame cooking prior to her journey to begin with. I think she’s also the most passionate about it as I can see it being a hobby of hers. (Also she hunts for her own meat! It’s hard to see this being up for debate)

-Olberic

This one might be more controversial this high up, but I believe he just has the most experience. I think he cooked a lot for the fellow soldiers during the war and he also lived alone in Cobblestone for along while, I think he’d pick up a lot of cooking skills a long the way. Also, he just kind of gives off the vibe of a dad who loves to grill. I think he isn’t as good at baking as H’aanit which is why he’s placed below her, but he can make an incredible fucking stew.

-Alfyn

I think this has the same reasoning as how chemistry and cooking go hand in hand, if you substitute apothecary/alchemy instead of chemistry. I think it also makes sense that the group doctor has a good grasp on cooking. Besides job based reasoning he seems like the type of person to help his mom out with cooking dinner ( I think also his mom taught him well and he loves making her recipes 🤧) I think especially after she died he really stepped up to help cook for Zeph and Nina (because they don’t have parents either, or at least I think I do)

(This is where there is a big gap between number 3 and 4, and a close race for 4-6. I think you could rearrange these next one as I feel they’re all around the same level)

-Tressa

This is kind of similar to Alfyn where I feel like it’s something she did with her family before she leaves on her journey. It just seems like the sort of thing they’d do together. I also think she’d be the best gatherer of ingredients, and I think she has a knack for creating her own recipes on her own merit. (I also think she improves a lot under H’aanit and Olberic’s guidance when it comes to cooking over the campfire)

Therion-

This is based on the fact that he’s had got to eat somehow, and as skinny as he is I don’t think he just eats stolen apples. I think he can cook with the bare minimum needed to survive. Like the real-world equivalent of knowing to put water in the easy-mac cup. Not extensive, but he knows the basics and can help out the group. (Also while not as skilled with picking out the best options I think he also is quite good at gathering ingredients)

Ophilia-

Like Therion I feel like she knows the basics, but she didn’t have much need to learn how to cook back in Flamegrace as that was more of the other clerics in the church territory. I do however think she improves the most during her journey, as she seems the type to be a quick learner when she’s focused on improving a skills.

Primrose

She lived in a mansion with servants for the first years of her life who would cook for her, and then I don’t think it would come up after Geoffrey died. I think she was busy doing other things, and unlike her bestie Therion I think there was just no free time for her to learn. (As shitty as Helgenish was I do think he fed them, though no trust in how much or nutritious it was). She does learn a bit and (unlike our last place) is able to help out with the cooking, she just is inexperienced and doesn’t have a knack for it.

-Cyrus

Are we surprised? No! This man is a disaster. He’s the definition of high intelligence low wis. I think he put all his energy into his studies that when it comes to life skills like cooking he just ignored completely and is shitty. Age≠experience in his case and he just keeps on making messes of things. I think it’s a Spencer Shay deal where if he simply touches a dish while cooking it’ll become inedible. He has been banned from being near the cooking pot, and settles for just making the fire before being shooed away.

[lakemojave]

Tonight at 6pm Pacific: The Direct Actors, a BG3 "Adventure" pt. 11!

Well, the gang is back, and that means their interpersonal drama is too! We're making waves through the shadow-cursed lands, delving into each others' dark pasts, and growing ever stronger as we approach Moonrise Towers. Come see @radiofreederry play Dhudlei Durite, elf paladin, my friends Nana and April play Leviathan, Dragonborn Dark Urge Monk, @caputvulpinum play Micah Harper, Tiefling Cleric, and me play Delilah "Mama D" Harper, Halfling Bard!

Art by @terrafey, full recap under the cut

THE STORY SO FAR: On the way to a union rally, Delilah "Mama D" Harper and her grandson Micah were abducted and taken aboard an ilithid nautiloid, which they escaped with mysterious dancer Leviathan and self-proclaimed "Champion of Ilmater and Paladin of Good" Dhudlei Durite. Each infected by a mind flayer tadpole, but so far immune from transforming into mind flayers themselves, The Direct Actors, as the party have come to be known, now turn their attention to the Shadow-Cursed Lands, where Moonrise Towers, the lair of the Cult of the Absolute, awaits them...

LAST TIME: Regrouped at last, the Direct Actors made their way towards the Shadow-Cursed Lands, fighting a horde of undead along the way. After defeating the abominations, Micah discovered a letter which he gave to Dhudlei, which revealed a grim truth: Dhudlei's old enemy, Ketheric Thorm, was still alive. Dhudlei and Leviathan had an honest discussion about what lay ahead for the party, before the Direct Actors finally entered those cursed lands.

Huddling close to stay within the scant light they had within them, the Direct Actors stumbled upon the corpses of several tiefling refugees they had previously rescued, before attacking a group of Absolute cultists who bore a precious moonlantern. Micah released the pixie imprisoned in the lantern, granting the party immunity from the shadow curse.

After Dhudlei recalled an inn he and the Harpers had used as a base during the first war against Thorm, the party made their way to it, fighting some meazels and vine blights along the way, as well as dealing with a dissociative episode from Leviathan after his personalities switched. Meanwhile, at camp, Dhudlei confessed that he had been dishonest about some things, revealing that he was not 250 years old, but in fact well over three thousand, and that he was functionally immortal. Micah and Mama D had a tense conversation about Micah's feelings towards their companions, and Wyll's devilish benefactor Mizora ordered the party to rescue a demon from Moonrise Towers, while Astarion entreated Dhudlei to be on the lookout for the devil Raphael.

The party arrived at the Last Light Inn, where Dhudlei was reunited with his old companion Jaheira, although Leviathan cast doubt on both Dhudlei's age and connection to the Harper. Mama D discovered a wicked slime creature disguised as a cow, and the party quickly dispatched it. The Direct Actors settled in at the inn, knowing that the long darkness had only just begun...

Will more of Dhudlei's secrets be revealed? Will tensions between Mama D and Micah reach a fever pitch? Will Leviathan be able to hold it together? Can the Direct Actors be able to find a way to break the shadow curse? What awaits in these broken lands? Find out in another exciting instalment of Baldur's Gate 3!

[villadiodatis]

Bad Kids level 12 breakdown!

Returned from the Vulture Dimension and on a roll academically, the Bad Kids have hit level 12. We've got some simple updates and some complex choices, so let's break it down. In case you missed my level 11 update, check it out here!

Adaine: Wizard 12. She's increased her intelligence by 2, taking it to 20 (the max it can get without magical objects) and making her modifier +5. This increases her spell save DC, spell attack bonus, and all INT-based skills (Arcana, History, Investigation, Nature, and Religion) by 1. She can now prepare 17 spells per day (previously 15), and learns two new spells, which can be 1st-6th level.

Fabian: Fighter 6/Bard 6 (was Bard 5). He learns a new bard spell, which can be 1st-3rd level, and gets a third 3rd-level spell slot. He also gets a feature called Countercharm, which allows him to use his action to give allies within 30 ft advantage on saving throws against being charmed or frightened. He would also get Extra Attack as a level 6 Swords bard, but he already has it from being a level 5+ fighter.

Fig: HOOOO BOY FIGUEROTH FAETH. Fig is now Bard 9/Paladin 2/Warlock 1. She's lost a warlock level and gained two paladin levels. With that, she loses whatever eldritch invocations she got last level, 1 1st-level warlock spell slot, and 1 known warlock spell. She gains Divine Sense 6 times per long rest (which we saw her use this episode, German Shepherd-style!), 10 points of Lay on Hands healing, Divine Smite, an unknown fighting style, and paladin spells. Multiclass spellcasting gets a little complicated, but the basics of it is she gets a second 5th-level spell slot and can prepare 6 spells from the paladin list per day, in addition to the bard and warlock spells she knows. She can cast any of her spells with any of her slots, and only the 1 warlock slot recharges on a short rest.

Gorgug: Barbarian 6/Artificer 6 (was Artificer 5). He learns two new artificer infusions, bringing him to 6 total, and can have 3 infused items at once. His tool checks now have expertise, so double his proficiency bonus. In addition (and this happened a few episodes ago, so I apologize for missing it!), he's changed his subclass from Alchemist to Battle Smith. He loses proficiency with alchemist's tools, subclass spells (Healing Word, Ray of Sickness, Flaming Sphere, Melf's Acid Arrow), elemental elixirs, and the damage bonus for spells that deal acid/fire/necrotic/poison damage. He gains proficiency with smith's tools, subclass spells (Heroism, Shield, Branding Smite, Warding Bond), can now use INT instead of STR/DEX for weapon attack and damage rolls (his strength is higher than his intelligence, so this may not come into play), Extra Attack (which he already has), and, biggest of all, Clobica, his Steel Defender.

Kristen: Cleric 12. Kristen has taken an unknown feat--we can rule out any that increase ability scores, but beyond that no clue. My baseless guess is War Caster, which grants advantage on maintaining concentration checks, and is a very solid choice for any caster, particularly clerics, who have a lot of concentration spells. She can also now prepare 17 spells per day (previously 16).

Riz: Rogue 12. Like Adaine, Riz increased his intelligence by 2, bringing it to 18, making his modifier +4. This increases his spell save DC, spell attack bonus, and all INT-based skills (Arcana, History, Investigation, Nature, and Religion) by 1.

And across the board, everyone's HP goes up and they get another hit die. Let's see how this unfolds, please let me know if I missed anything, and see you next level!

[the-gnomish-bastard]

It’s Dungeons and Dads: Cleric Edition! To preface: religious dad. Not necessarily hyper religious, but they do pray occasionally.

Turn Undead can be flavored as telling those darn kids to get off your lawn!

Channel Divinity varies heavily from subclass.

Divine intervention is just dad putting his foot down.

Subclass time! And holy shit, that’s a lot of subclasses. Like what the fuck.

Arcana: Your dad likes studying shit like the Salem Witch Trials. Specifically the witches.

Death: Your dad is extremely religious. To the point of murder.

Forge: Your dad loves forging. Simple as. Which means… I’m sorry to tell you this but your dad is either a dwarf on stilts or 3 gnomes in a suit of armor.

Grave: Your dad has no problem with corpses. In fact, your dad literally works at the graveyard. And he always makes a point of saying he works the graveyard shift.

Knowledge: Your dad’s a nerd.

Life: Your dad’s a doctor.

Light: You introduced your dad to Dark Souls and now he won’t stop praising the sun.

Nature: Your dad tends the garden at church.

Order: Your dad works as a judge.

Peace: Your dad never wants to hurt anything ever. Your dad is a very wholesome guy.

Tempest: Your dad is the weatherman, in more ways than one.

Trickery: Your dad always plays “I got your nose” with everyone.

Twilight: Your dad likes sitting on the porch and watching the crimson sun sink beneath the darkened land, as the magenta sky slowly fades to black.

War: Your dad listens to Sabaton. Specifically “FOR THE GRACE FOR THE MIGHT OF OUR LORD! FOR THE HOME OF THE HOLY!”