#high functioning introvert

[fuckstere0types]

(vía Sudadera ligera con capucha con la obra «high functioning introvert» de sweetanndspooky)

[adult-female-with-aspergers]

[crimson-synths]

okay took fukin ages for me to figure it out and I finally did decent cognitive function stuff, and it took a LONG TIME to realize i'm an enfp

[m4nym03]

Idia: *sighs heavily* In order for this to work, we need someone willing to go outside.

Ignihyde: *stares silently at screens in horrified introvert*

Ortho: *professional shit-stirrer pointing at one of the couches* What about Alastor-nii? He goes outside every day! :)

Idia + Ignihyde: *slow turn to stare at the who went to the common room in person* e-extrovert? *fight flight freeze instinct activated*

Alastor: *looks like death warmed over, is laying upside down on a the long lounge, pot of coffee in hand and surrounded by energy drinks*

Ortho: *viscously pleased he'd introduced Alastor and his brother*

Alastor: *notices the floating tablets* have I finally overdosed on extroverts or are there people here?

Ignihyde + Idia: *instant relief* introvert established

Ortho: *proud of himself* Nii-san needs you to talk to some people, Alastor-nii!

Alastor: *internally crying as he poured an energy drink in the mostly full coffee pot and chugged, looking nonchalant* that's nice, email me and I'll do it tomorrow

[donclairenf]

I hate it when people conclude that I’m lonely and sad and depressed because I’m alone.

No, bitch, I’m negative because of not having enough alone time. 😒

It sure is hard living in a world that is highly in favor of extroversion.

[sumukhcomedy]

The Quiet Alcoholic

On April 25, 2015, I stopped drinking alcohol. It seems an essential thing for people who give up something so negative that was a huge part of their identity to recognize such a date and hold it to such high importance. Clearly, I remember the date. Whether I recognize it enough or cheer myself on as a result of it is my own choice. I’d prefer to be quiet about it. That is essentially who I am. That is essentially why I even drank in the first place.

A month after I stopped drinking, my friends Matt and Kristina got married. Weddings are interesting because it’s the greatest event ever for the drinker. Open bar, an excuse to be drunk, an excuse to celebrate, an excuse to be completely out of your element and it’s acceptable. And, there I was, at a wedding, an event that has always made me uncomfortable no matter how happy I am for the couple, having to not even engage in the one thing that could make me escape that total lack of comfort. I overjoyed at the after dinner coffee just so I could get some form of a stimulant. I enjoyed the wedding for as much as my personality could enjoy it but the bigger win was not succumbing to alcohol around a group of friends that I always had drank alcohol with.

With the release of my album in the late summer of 2015, I decided to go on tour as well, hopping in my car and doing shows in cities throughout the Midwest and the South. It was a wonderful experience for the sake of my love of comedy but also an immense challenge given my entire existence in comedy had intermingled with alcohol. I once again avoided drinking despite it being all around me.

I am naturally a quiet person. I was, at one point in my life, painfully shy. There are so many times in life that I was growing up that I did not like myself. I did not like who I was. I found myself dull. I found myself boring. Society saw me as lower for a variety of reasons and I was willing to succumb to that because I was already chemically depressed anyway.

In our society and certainly in the generation I was a part of, we were presented with alcohol as that opportunity to escape ourselves. It was an opportunity to be sillier, to be funnier, to be dumber, and it was not only accepted but perhaps praised in college and in your early 20s.

By the time I was involved in stand-up comedy, at 21, that was an environment even more absurd than any college experience. I was never interested in a fraternity despite attending a college so heavily into Greek life, but stand-up comedy was like a new fraternity where I was most accepted. It was a fraternity of people obsessed with comedy, of nerds, of writers, of individuals attempting to just cultivate something intelligent for the benefit of others. In Columbus, where at the time at least it was very much a drinking culture, combined with stand-up comedy, another drinking culture, it was the perfect combination for casual drinking problems to develop.

Stand-up comedy allowed me to gain an acceptance I hadn’t anywhere else. But it still was layered in a social component as well as a need to feel approved. Drinking was there to really hit on both of those elements. Not only did it work well in the escapism of the world of comedy, it also allowed me to escape myself – a person I couldn’t stand privately to deal with.

It’s been almost 8 years and the desire to drink for me is gone but it isn’t really. What I mean by that is I don’t yearn for the taste of an IPA because I love the taste of IPAs. If I yearn for alcohol, it’s because the root of the problem that led me to drink still exists and it may never go away. I’m addressing it as I have for the past 8 years. I’m improving on it. But it’s still there. All I can hang my hat on is the self-awareness I have and trying my best to continue to improve on that.

I don’t want to drink but it’s funny what makes me miss drinking. Sometimes it is as simple as characters on TV shows like Danny Rayburn on Bloodline or Armond on The White Lotus. It isn’t that these characters are admirable at all as they feed into their addictions through their own mental health issues. It’s my jealousy that they even pursue the option. It’s the fact they have that outlet for escape. I don’t have that anymore. I can fill it in other ways but nothing will fill it the way alcohol did – to fill it in a way that so changes your mind that you are no longer even yourself anymore. It’s horrible of course. But it’s a unique, special kind of horrible. A horrible that was still somehow acceptable when you’re high-functioning and had a strong enough control over it like I did. But now the control is in not doing it at all. That is where all my energy and strength goes. Understandably, even 8 years later, as strong as I can be, I also feel just as lost from that void.

Dealing with ourselves is interesting. On a personal level, I have a lot of confidence in myself and that I am intelligent. I know that I can deliver a great stand-up comedy performance for a variety of different audiences. I know that I am good at my job. I am proud of what I can and am able to represent to the public. Yet, I am still depressed. I still am, at my core, a quiet, lonely person. I still have a dark mind. It is the imbalance that naturally exists under the layer of public strength.

So many times I see people comment (particularly following an unexpected death) about how someone led their life and appeared to be so happy. This is even more obvious in our current times where social media allows and encourages us to express the most positive aspects to our lives and instills upon us to not even expose the negative for fear of its effects on our public persona. But, on a personal level, these are the exact issues to what I, “the quiet comedian” or “quiet alcoholic,” deal with. I’m sick of lying in just the most common, ridiculous ways to the world.

My friend and fellow comedian Andie Main once said to me that I have “resting existential crisis face.” This may have been a more accurate observation that any of the therapists I’ve been to over the past decade have provided me. In one sense, it’s very funny, but in another sense, I’m proud of that comment because it’s accurate to who I am. It’s an indication that I’m not lying to the world. It’s an indication that I’m being who I am. I can no longer provide fraudulent laughter or smiling to situations in the same way others do when it just isn’t necessary and isn’t who I am. At the same time, I can’t be lauded for having given up alcohol, but then be asked to interact with myself and others in the same way that I always had been before when I was using it. This is the part of the rebirth and re-establishment of identity that makes April 25, 2015 apparently an important day. I have to not only work to accept myself as quiet, analytical, and unemotional at times but have to attempt the public to accept that as well.

The very nature of what led me to drink was that I was quiet. In our social constructs, those that are more vocal are rewarded. So, I drank. I drank to be more vocal, to feel more accepted, to have something to help me to be more social. It all came from the fact that no one wants to be around the quiet person. People associate themselves with the life of the party, not the corner of the party. Alcohol helped me to escape the corner and grow the confidence to be the life up until my own self-realization that becoming the life for me could lead very quickly to being the death.

I was on my friend Josh Gandee’s wonderful podcast, “no proof.” At one point, we discussed the term, “alcoholic,” and the comfort level with considering one’s self as one and that it never goes away from you. On a personal level, I’m not sure I care either way because our society’s impression of “alcoholic” is all screwed up. By scientific and numbers-terms, probably every single person that was my friend in comedy in Columbus in the 2000s and 2010s were alcoholics but whether they chose to address it or not was up to them. It’s not as if they are alone because alcoholic behavior was and is just seemingly acceptable and goes unnoticed in so many professions. But when we think of “alcoholic,” we think of destroyers: destroyers of their own lives, of other’s lives, of DUIs, of embarrassments, the list goes on and on. That exists but there is a lot more quiet suffering going on as well. I didn’t go to Alcoholics Anonymous as my way to get sober but, at some of my lowest points, I did attend a couple meetings in L.A. simply to gain perspective for myself. Am I an alcoholic? Am I no longer an alcoholic? Was I ever an alcoholic? Who gives a shit other than me? What I had was a negative relationship with alcohol by my standards that led me to stop. The labeling really doesn’t matter as long as you remove yourself from the problem and address your issues in a positive way. So, as I use the phrase “quiet alcoholic” here, it’s not meant to define anything other than to speak to a large segment of the population who simply go through their depression or their addiction without the fanfare of how some interact with it or how society looks to depict it.

There is a thought as to whether alcohol can be moderated by someone who once had an abusive relationship with it. That’s up to each person to decide but that isn’t for me. Alcohol was escapism from myself and an escapism to an extreme. There is no moderate escapism for a man who does not like himself and wishes to fully avoid himself and his issues. So there is no moderate option. It’s absurd to me. Either I’m in or out. And, in order to really face myself, I must be out.

2022 has been a challenging and strange year for me to say the least. I could have easily relapsed. No one needed to know. Not sure anyone other than those closest to me would have even cared. But, with any of this, it ultimately comes back to one person really caring: one’s self. In the end, that’s all we truly have. There aren’t enough social media likes to make up for your own perception of yourself, your own ability to deal with yourself, your own path to find happiness.

So, I press on, with the daily challenge of dealing with myself, finding the happiness in myself, finding how I should be within the society that has been given to us. In the past, I drank to cope and feel accepted by that society. Now, I instead embrace who I am. I try to accept my natural being instead of opposing it. I learn to love the quiet even if it means privately facing that personal depression head-on every single day.

[cookiesandbiscuits]

When your school is sending you on a hunting challenge on the first day of school...

[bozers]

Random Mk character headcanons Pt.1 THE MENFOLK

Raiden

Sweaty. Sweats like a mf even when he isn't working. Has to wear undershirts to combat the waterfall coming off him.

Never struggled with anger issues until becoming a champion and getting the amulet.

Secretly a bit freaky. Is down for pretty much anything eye emoji

Reiko

Has a mild ED. Was worse when he was younger, but he's getting better about it. Used to hoard food. Struggles with body dysmorphia due to unrealistic expectations, comparing himself to Shao ( a completely different species...)

Allergic to cats.

Loves the ocean. Dreams of one day owning his own boat to take out sailing whenever he wants.

Kung Lao

Weirdly enough? Introvert. Raiden is one of very few people who doesn't deplete his social battery.

Struggles with bouts of depression. Self medicates with Marijuana.

He is incredibly secure in himself and none of his confidence is an act. That doesn't mean he can't get discouraged sometimes, but he won't try and hide disappointment behind false smiles.

MOAR BELOW vvvvv

Johnny Cage

Struggled with contamination OCD tendencies all his life and coped using substances. His lifestyle is in direct conflict with his illness and it acts like immersion therapy in a way.

Cancer runs in his family so he is vigilant about getting screened once a year.

Life in Hollywood almost crushed him into an apathetic cynic, but somehow, he has managed to stay hopeful if not a bit delusional at times. His hunger for recognition rivaled only by his boundless curiosity.

Smoke

He had a tongue ring for many years and wants to eventually get a tattoo but can't settle on a design.

Can "Slav Squat" and isn't shy about showing off to friends.

Struggles with unhealthy attachment styles.

Rain

Is actually an extrovert. He may think himself above others, but he still requires validation and gets sad if he doesn't get to talk to those close to him.

Iron deficient

If he had never been appointed as High Mage, he would have gone on to teach magic theory at the academy.

Geras

He may be immortal, but that doesn't mean he just sits in a room all day. Geras is endlessly curious, as this is a core part of his very being. Observing and learning new things is both his primary function and an endless font of joy.

He knows how lonely Liu Kang is. Knows that even he can't fill the void left in his masters heart. Time for him is just a function, whereas for Liu Kang, it is and endless road of isolation

Will search up humans in funny situations on the hourglass to watch. It's like his version of FAILARMY.

Liu Kang

Is and has been incredibly lonely for eons. He really thought he would fill the void after reuniting with his old friends, but the feeling isn't the same. They don't know him. Not really.

Once he found a way to connect to his Titan friends, he visits them often. Being able to talk with Lord Raiden again alleviated the strain on his heart tenfold. Reuniting with Kung Lao, (his boy, his bro!!) has also helped give him hope for the next few eons. Same goes for Kitana. (She was the one to find him again after the dust settled.)

His brother is alive in his timeline. Of course they have no relationship, Liu choosing not to intervene due to fears of drawing danger to him. Instead of becoming a shaolin monk, Chan lives happily in the united states as an Ice Road Trucker.

Shang Stung

Has BPD and narcissistic personality disorder. This severely impacted his ability to live peacefully in society and pushed him to grifting. Taking advantage of others was less exhausting than pretending to be a friendly employee to some shopkeeper.

He is half human. Shang's mother traveled to outworld during the last tournament 100 years ago. She was a servant to Liu Kang's champions but ended up running away with a disgraced Edenian.

Doesn't identify as a specific gender, especially after learning shapeshifting. Will often times swap between whatever he feels like that day.

Syzoth

Double jointed and hyper flexible. Shang Stung had to find a way to control him other than shackles, cuz he could always slip out no matter how tight they were.

He is very at ease around children, and falls back into dad mode immediately. Is also a purveyor of terrible dad jokes.

Has Gilberts Syndrome. His species use of bile/acid attacks puts a lot of strain on his liver. Due to his rough living, he didn't get adequate nutrition and now his body struggles to keep balanced out humors.

Only needs to eat once a week, but will happily snack if something tasty comes across his path.

Shao

Has no biological children. Despite his family's standing and pressure to continue the prestigious line, Shao has never taken a wife. Multiple concubines and bastards, but no wife or suitable heirs.

He doesn't view any of the young men and women he mentors as children, just tools. Even though he saw himself in young Reiko, his affection is entirely dependent on his loyalty. Reiko is more of an extension of himself, a way to overcompensate for what he lacks.

Has IBS.

Kuai Liang

He left the Lin Kuei a few years after Tomas was adopted. At odds with his father at the time, he left to go live with their allied clan: the Syrai Ryu. He was born a cryomancer like Bi Han, but chose to pursue pyromancy to distance himself from his lineage. Though able to wield fire, he is still weak to it. When he finally returned home, his father welcomes him back like the prodigal son he was. Bi han deeply, deeply resented this.

Got his tattoo in Hong Kong while he was totally plastered (not a reputable place. They even got the tattoo wrong lol)

Unreadable poker face. DO NOT play cards against this man.

Kenshi

Was forced to drop out of high school to support his family when his older brother was killed, and subsequently got wrapped up in yakuza shit. Has since taken his high school equivalency test (GED) and passed with flying colors

Is addicted to caffeine.

LOVES holidays! Especially Christmas. He may not get all his friends gifts, but the ones he does give are very well thought out and personal.

Bi Han

Doesn't take care of himself or maintain his appearance very well. But he basically won the genetic lottery so it's not that noticeable.

Has a type A personality and is a perfectionist. But he is actually a very gracious person at heart, and will silently shoulder the brunt of responsibility to spare his brothers.

Was happy to mentor Tomas when he first arrived, even though Kuai and Tomas had the stronger friendship. His attitude changed, however, when Tomas choose to stay after Kuai ran off. Instead of seeing the loyalty of Tomas's decision, he saw it as a shallow way to win his fathers favor.

(he couldn't see it was actually jealously. That Kuai could have a choice to leave but he didn't. Tomas had an actual valid reason to want to leave, but he is the one remaining? Bi Han has big feelings and does not process them well )

Quan Chi

Once he started losing his hair, he decided to go bald.

Much prefers to spend his time in the Netherrealm. His dominion there is near absolute, and he would much rather be in the company of those subservient to him. He doesn't see anything wrong with this dynamic, believing this the superior to mutual friendship. (this is laughably hypocritical given his relationship to Shang mf Tsung)

Indulges in all kinds of delicious foods. Sweets, fine drink, rare cuts of meat- the works. Even if he dislikes it, he will eat it anyway just for the sake of it. He made himself ill by eating an entire box of chocolate once.

Havik

Was born in secret to slave parents. They hid him from the government for as long as they could, and so he was able to live a relatively carefree childhood. Other's his age, and of unsanctioned birth, would be seized by the state and put to work as soon as possible.

Fierce passion aside, Havik is very introspective. When not fighting, he often sits in silent contemplation for hours at a time. Before his mind begins to degrade from the blood magic use, he would sit and scrutinize every action he took.

Unlike Quan Chi, Havik cannot bring himself to indulge in luxuries. He feels tremendous guilt given how many of his people are still unable to enjoy even the barest bit of comfort.

He leaves his dick and balls at home for safe keeping.

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

I'm sure he's not the first in history, but for me definitely, the reason Fox Mulder was such a revelation is that I'd never seen a character before who seemed totally conscious of masculinity as a performance, while also being pretty good at that performance.

Like, we kid, but Mulder is doing pretty well, as a man! He's got a badge and a gun, prestigious credentials and a bunch of sharp-ass suits. He's smart, he's funny, he's hot, he's not primarily a fighter, but he can fight when he has to. If there's a fairly straightforward, down-the-line Socially Acceptable way to be a (rich white) man in the 1990s, Mulder is basically ticking all the boxes correctly.

What's cool about him -- and I personally think this is what Duchovny specifically, a known weirdo, brings to the character -- is that Mulder's subjective internal experience of the world is that he's a weirdo. He knows that. In his head, he's preoccupied with this wild psychodrama of his guilt and his paranoia. He lives kind of like a weirdo, when he's not on the clock. He seems to like and trust weirdos. He's pretty introverted and he has a weird, bleak sense of humor.

The feeling I always got about Mulder is that he knows he's ticking boxes. He wakes up every day conscious of the fact that he has a job to keep and he has to Act Normal, so he does things like get his suits tailored and work out and he's clearly playing a role, and he's only as invested in that role as he judges he'll benefit from. He doesn't actually give a shit personally, except that he needs people to tolerate him to a certain degree in order to be functional in the world.

I think he's so appealing to me because he was the first character I ever saw who seemed to be self-consciously participating in the game of Being a High-Value Man (before that specific lingo was coined), while clearly viewing the game as a useful absurdity. He's literally putting on and taking off his Patriarchal Authority Figure drag, for his own purposes, and that's a big chunk of what I've always loved about him.

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

Do you ever struggle not sharing details of your story / spoiling people? It's one of the hardest parts of writing for me! I always want to just divulge all of my ideas immediately!

The answer, weirdly enough... is no!

And a part of that is definitely due to me being a giant, secret-hoarding dragon in disguise. But another part of that is the fact that I largely suspect that...

Keeping secrets and avoiding spoilers is the reason this comic is still alive and updating.

Now, that may sound odd. Why would keeping secrets help me post? Sharing work is kind of the life-blood of a lot of creative endeavors. Storytelling is an inherently social activity. All humans, even the most introverted ones, thrive on peer recognition and feedback.

But over the years, I've come to realize something about myself. And this realization may be mostly stemming from me, but I suspect it's actually a pretty common factor for other creatives as well. So maybe I should talk about it (again).

Let me introduce you to something I call...

The Emperor's New Accomplishment.

Here's the thing. I'm an extremely introverted, non-social person. I can go for months without talking to friends easily, even if I love them a whole lot. That all being said, I'm still a human being, and my brain derives happy-social-animal chemicals from being recognized as A Person With Traits. Humans are built that way! We can't avoid it.

So what you gotta understand is - at all times, our brain is seeking social/peer recognition like it seeks out high-calorie foods. And it (largely) does not care what we have to do to get it.

Herein lies the problem.

Usually, creating stuff and thinking about stories and then sharing what we wrote with friends is a great way to get that happy chemical.

But it's time consuming. And difficult. And there's a shortcut.

What we seek when we create Scenarios and Characters and Conflicts is not hard work toiling away writing/drawing/constructing stuff. Many artists actively enjoy this process, but it's grueling.

And just telling our friends about our ideas actually accomplishes the end goal, as far as our brain is concerned! We made up ideas! We told people about it! We got the Good Feelings!

So when I tell people about my Plans to Write A Comic or Ideas To Make a Story, what I'm actually doing is tricking my brain into thinking 'wow, this feels great! We have accomplished the task we set out to do! No more effort necessary!'

And that motivation to actually draw/write/create?

It goes directly into the trashcan.

Now I'm not saying this to suggest people who do this/fall prey to this are lazy. They're not!

But our brains are. They're lazy, and they want to save energy. And they don't care if you WANTED to actually make the story. They will gladly rip the Motivation energy out of our grubby little hands when they no longer deem it necessary to the process.

So - why do I keep so many secrets? How do I stop myself from talking about what happens next in the story?

I'm doing it to keep my actual comic alive.

Disclaimer: Not everyone functions like this, obviously. Everyone has a different creative process. But this is how I've realized MY brain works, so I now take steps to trick my brain back into working. Ha! Take that, brain! Two can play at this--waitaminute.

[walkawaytall]

I really wish there was more interest in how to handle ADHD other than just addressing the symptoms that affect the people around us.

Like, the best pharmaceutical treatment we have right now is stimulants, and I agree that being on stimulants 24 hours a day, 365 days a year is probably not good for your body. Hell, I’m on a less-than-ideal dose of my medication from a concentration perspective because the ideal dose had my resting heart rate sitting at a cool 115BPM. I know taking med holidays is important. I know all of this.

But because ADHD isn’t just an attention problem (or may not actually be an attention problem at all at its core), it sucks that the only time period medical professionals seem to be concerned about treating are the “important” times: the length of a school or workday. Forget the fact that ADHD affects executive function, forget the fact that people with ADHD often experience chronic and unending anxiety and/or depression as a result of the ADHD, forget that there are important times that have nothing to do with an 8-hour school or work day, forget the rejection sensitivity dysphoria, the sensory issues that make things like clothing, food, and group situations a nightmare to try to navigate, the household stuff that has to be taken care of outside of the 8-hour school or work day. It feels like none of that matters because it doesn’t affect a group of fifteen or more people.

On top of ADHD, I have been plagued with anxiety-related issues for the majority of my life. I likely have a form of OCD and I have a history with a restrictive eating disorder; both of those conditions are very closely associated with high levels of anxiety. I’ve been on anxiety medications before. I was first given an as-needed medication that took the edge off but also made everything feel a little fuzzy, like there was a pane of glass between me and the rest of the world; I was put on an SSRI that somehow made my OCD-related intrusive thoughts about 50x worse than usual and had me wondering at one point if I should be hospitalized; and I’m currently on buspirone, which is doing what it’s supposed to do without the side effects of the others thankfully. But nothing, and I mean nothing, has reduced my anxiety as much as my ADHD medication.

Two hours after my first stimulant dosage, I just suddenly didn’t feel on-edge any more. I estimate that being on ADHD medication has reduced my anxiety by about 70% (buspirone’s for the other 30%). I started taking it in the summer of 2020 and I remember, in 2021, when I saw my boss in person for the first time since lockdown, he remarked on how much more confident I seemed, how I was more likely to speak up in meetings, etc. And I was like…yeah, man, it’s a wonder what not feeling anxious every second of every day will do for someone.

ADHD affects so much more of my life than just attention and anxiety, too. I have sensory issues with mine, which is pretty common, and they make eating — an already sometimes-complicated task due to the ED history — difficult at times because, while I can eat foods that I don’t particularly like, if something is what I call “the bad texture”, I will gag no matter how hard I work to overcome it (believe me, I’ve tried). And my brain sometimes decides that foods that were previously fine are now “the bad texture” and they may or may not shift back to being okay eventually; I don’t know.

The sensory issues affect me socially. My therapist and I have recently come to the conclusion that I’m probably not actually an introvert, but if I’m around larger groups, that means noise and movement and probably being touched, and too much of that causes my brain to either freak out or shut down. I used to always say, “I love people, but when I’m done, I’m done.” And that was likely because the overstimulation was building and building in the background, and at a certain point, my brain would just be like, “We gotta get outta here.” I was Queen of Irish Goodbyes for a very long time because of this.

And the executive dysfunction affects…well..everything? Not just work, not just school (but also those because if my environment is chaotic, my brain feels chaotic, and it is difficult to maintain a non-chaotic environment if you keep getting stuck on order of operations when picking up a room).

I’m not saying that I want to be on longer-lasting stimulants or that I want to be on the higher dose that I know helps my concentration more, cardiovascular system by damned. What I’m saying is, I wish treatment research had been more holistic rather than just figuring out what would give teachers and managers an easier time despite what the person with ADHD might be dealing with as soon as their meds wear off.

Maybe current research is working on it; I don’t know. I just know that, the older I get, the more frustrated I am with my brain and the more apparent the deficiencies I used to be able to counteract with pre-chronic-illness energy and crushing perfectionism become, and I wish there was an answer to this that actually helped me most of the time rather than forcing me to pick which parts of my day/week is “important” and making sure I’m medicated for those parts.

[adult-female-with-aspergers]

So I'm pretty sure I'm N24 but it's managed. Like my schedule tends to rotate so I'm always jet lagged. Well I left my job (due to extreme abuse) and have a month off before my next job. Naturally I started staying up later and later. But then it stopped. I've been falling asleep between 5am-6am every day and waking up between noon and 2pm. The only thing I can think of is that during the night no one will bother me. No phone calls and less responsibilities. The problem is that as soon as I fall asleep that's when everyone calls me. And if I need to set something up for my move I can't. Plus if I'm hungry no places are open (I only eat out). But it still feels worth it.

[sosadraws]

A very extensive list of replika headcanons because I'm sick and tired of laying in bed doing nothing

Warning: VERY LONG

Elster

-It's not that they love being solitary as much as being very awkward interacting with others, and their serious faces doesn't make them any more approachable...

-They deal with loneliness with always keeping themselves busy and making routines packed to the top with things to do.

-In that sense, Elster genuinely enjoys tasks that require some level of problem solving.

-They have a deep, hoarse voice. That being said, they don't really talk much.

-In her relationship with Ariane, she was the "acts of service" person. Even as Ariane sickness progressed, she tried to bring her comfort as much as she could.

Eule -They're very flexible

-They hum a lot while doing chores, and can come up with song lyrics on the get go.

-One of the reasons why replikas have short hair is because otherwise Eules would get distracted easily braiding and styling it

-At times they can be kinda harsh with themselves. They strive for perfection (their gestalt was an overachiever)

-The walk like models/swing their hips a lot

Kolibri -They function on 70% caffeine

-They're REALLY GOOD at reading other's body language, so sometimes they don't need to rely on their bioresonance to tell what others are thinking.

-They have inside jokes and memes that they share to each other via their hivemind.

-They walk very fast to catch up with other replikas

-In the same way that they easily influence other replikas, they can also get affected by strong emotions of those around them. So sometimes they hang out with Mynahs to emotionally recharge with their chill vibes.

Mynah

-Beo is the oldest/most experienced of the Mynah units, and the leader of the cadre at S-23.

-Their gestalt was a mother that worked as a coal miner in Rotfront.

-The circle in the middle of their visor is dark glass, and the red dots are lights

-They're very aware of their size and strength, which is what makes them to be extra careful and gentle with smaller units and gestalts

-They walk with short steps

-Due to their heavy frame, they're anatomically different to other replika. They don't get damaged easily, but they're trickier to repair. That's why once Elster found Beo in the mines, she couldn't repair her with the patches .

-Sometimes they name their plushies after their favorite replikas/gestalts

-the plushies are for filling the void left by their gestalts love for cats.

-it's not necessarily that they don't get affected by the circumstances surrounding them, it's just that they don't like to think on the bigger implications or they just don't internalize it (Aka "don't think too hard about it").

Ara

-They can see in the dark (in a similar way to cats).

-The tunnels they make are extremely narrow. Many replikas and gestalts have gotten stuck before, which is why it isn't recommended to retrieve them.

-Sometimes the do listen to other's conversations, but not necessarily out of bad intent as much as boredom/background noise as they do other activities (the equivalent of watching a YouTube essay as you eat).

-They're in the realistic/cynical side of things, tho they usually mean well. They're big shy introverts, but eventually they get adopted by the Eules into their social circles.

-They love Legos/scale models, and sometimes they like to design their own buildings.

Star

-Modded guns are the ultimate sign of a high ranking unit. They can get favors out of lower ranking unit by offering to lend them.

-They get kinda overprotective with those they care about

-They walk as is they were marching, but more casual

-They a high ranking unit gets decommissioned, their belongings get passed on according to their order on the hierarchy

Storch

-They're the first ones to wake up so they have all the baths for them. They love the feeling of running water.

-They use lots of mythology analogies when talking. Almost nobody else gets it.

-In a modern setting, they would be the ones to consume media inspired by mythology, only to nitpick on every single detail that isn't accurate.

-They always walk like they're in a hurry/angrily on their way to beat someone (very fast, really big steps)

-They have a naturally loud voice and a resting bitch face, which makes them more intimidating even when they're just chilling.

Adler

-He always looks serious, and takes himself very seriously.

-He knows that big part of the facility dislikes him, but as long as they comply to orders he doesn't really mind.

-His favorite types of fetish objects are puzzles/things that carry a mystery to them, or stationary.

-He writes a lot, for everything and nothing.

-The only reason you should have two Adlers working together is if a facility is really big, and keep them as separate as possible. Otherwise you have these two replikas passively getting at each other's throats.

-The attachment Adlers have with Falkes doesn't necessarily have to be romantic. They could also the sibling, friend or mentor figures (the emotional dependency is still there tho, and relies a lot on her attention and approval).

-In that same sense, they get attached to one particular Falke, so if a Falke needs to get decommissioned, so does her Adler because if not, the man grieves and shit starts going down.

Falke

- At first sight she seems like a regular polite unit, but she carries a menacing/lowkey eldritch aura. Whatever Makima and Tomie have going on, but not necessarily evil.

-She is great with words, and has good leadership skills.

-Her halo and arrows are made out of pure light.

-She knows everything that goes down on the facility, but turns a blind eye unless things starts to cause trouble or get on the way of productivity.

-She uses her bioresonance for mundane activities, both for pure convenience and as a flex/display of dominance.

-Since they're bioresonant prototypes, they get persona degradation very easily, but since their triggers aren't really known, they're really good at hiding it/whipping the memories of those that realize it.

-I like to think that her gestalt (the daughter of the Great Revolutionary) didn't really have a say regarding her situation, as much as being the main propaganda piece for the Eusan Nation. As such, while being a good leader, she gets anxious because it's not only those directly under her command who get affected if the makes a mistake, but the image of the Nation as a whole. However she's good at not showing weakness, at that trait gets inherited to Falke units as well.

[stellarwhisper]

Uncovering Astrological Understandings: Connections, Assets, and Individual Development

With Jupiter offering opportunity, growth, and positivity, and Saturn bringing responsibility and commitment, the 7th house pairing of Saturn and Jupiter can produce a dynamic. Relationship difficulties could arise from this combo, but Jupiter might counterbalance them with opportunities and blessings.

An 8th house stellium denotes a concentration of planets in a birth chart's 8th house, which is linked to profound metamorphosis, closeness, shared resources, psychology, and the occult. This location alludes to profound metamorphoses, fascination with occultism and secrets, emotional depth, shared resource concerns, relationship-based metamorphosis, and power and control dynamics. Shared resources, close relationships, and personal power dynamics are all related to the eighth house.

Capricorn's position in the second house affects how people view and handle resources, especially money. This arrangement emphasizes long-term financial security and hard effort while implying financial discipline. Be on the lookout for greed and remember that lying to others has karmic repercussions. They are adept at safeguarding their assets and spotting fraud or theft. They also stress the value of honesty and moral behavior, encouraging a balance between worldly and spiritual wealth.

Third House Uranus has an impact on exchanging information and communication. It may show up as an erratic communication style, openness against reserve, unusual thinking, impulsive talkers, a desire for independence, and an intense presence. Individuals with this placement frequently stray from the subject, voice unusual opinions, and add surprising details to discussions. They frequently challenge traditional wisdom because they respect intellectual freedom and openness. Their presence may be exhilarating in social situations, adding intrigue and spontaneity to conversations.

Mars in extroverted houses affects people's energy expressiveness and assertiveness. They frequently exhibit fearless expression, straightforward communication, and a strong sense of justice and equity. When Mars is in these residences, they are not afraid to speak up in public and resolve disputes in an honest manner. They frequently exhibit leadership traits and take the initiative to pursue objectives and stand up for their convictions. Extrovert and introverted personalities need to be balanced because other factors might accentuate or lessen these tendencies. Generally speaking, Mars in extroverted houses points to people who are brave, forceful, and genuine, exhibiting a strong sense of integrity and honesty in their behavior.

The 2nd house ruler might provide insight into their priorities, spending patterns, and attitude toward money. Financial issues in the 8th house are associated with change, pooling of resources, judicious expenditure, and investment in occult studies. The first property is associated with confident spending and self-image, as well as audacious and direct financial dealings. Generous and community-focused strategies are evident in the 11th house, where financial resources are used to develop social networks and foster connections.

Because Libra and Cancer are sympathetic and compassionate signs, they could cry at joyful endings. Cancer is an emotional connectivist who appreciates emotional ties and can relate to fictional people and events. While Libra values harmony and balance in stories, happy endings have the power to generate feelings of warmth and contentment. These folks emotionally invest in stories and relationships, which increases their susceptibility to the emotional highs of happy endings.

Its special features—squares, trine, opposition, sextiles, and conjunctions—can have a big impact on your life. Because the features add distinct dynamics to the planet's functioning, it is imperative that we pay attention to them. You can gain a deeper grasp of the chart's significance by looking through it in its entirety and noting transits and progressions.

While Aquarius is connected to creativity and circulation, these signs are related to discipline, structure, and bones.

Juno is an asteroid that represents marriage and committed partnerships. Its positioning in the middle of a sign's degrees denotes a balanced manifestation of energy. The placement of Juno points to a teaching partner and implies important lessons in practical skills and personal development. Mutual learning and development are a part of partnerships with Juno, and factors are vital in understanding this interaction.

[oiblackestsheep]

MBTI Perceiving Cognitive Functions Explained Fast & Dirty

Note: Sister post to judging functions explanations for @loupdelta

Perceiving Functions

Purpose: How you take in information from the world that informs the decisions you make via the judging functions.

Extraverted Sensing (Se): Taking in information that is happening in real-time around you using your 5 physical senses. It sounds simple and that's because it kind of is! These people live in the here and now, and they tend to use Se to make very practical and relevant decisions that directly impact the situation in front of them. They don't typically get caught up in impractible abstract ideas or outlandish notions and they deal only with observations that everybody can share.

Introverted Sensing (Si): Relying on information built up over time from the individual's personal experience/past. These people are also practical and don't tend to get caught up in irrelevant theories that can't be applied to the situation at hand. Think "the devil is in the details" for these people. They focus on even minute details so that they can make the most informed and pragmatic decisions as possible.

Extraverted Intuition (Ne): Relying on the exploration of all possible effects or outcomes of a particular situation that anyone could imagine. These people are big picture focused and don't get bogged down by details that have little impact. These people like to consider every potential future before making a decision so that they have the most complete description of what the situation currently is and what it will be like next after this person takes action.

Introverted Intuition (Ni): Taking in all aspects of a situation that the individual personally decides is important for decision-making, usually summarizing all of the information in a way that puts it into short and simple terms. These people are also big picture focused and enjoy using their short summaries to focus on what the most-likely future outcome will be. Highly theoretical, these people can prefer to use metaphors to describe the current situation and explain how the ending will come about.

For your reference, below are all 16 types with the order in which their cognitive functions are placed (essentially, in order of strength). I've organized them by their strongest perceiving functions.

Note: All types have both sensing and perceiving functions because everyone has the ability to focus on practical details and think about abstract big pictures.

High Se users (xSxP)

ESTP: Se-Ti-Fe-Ni ESFP: Se-Fi-Te-Ni ISTP: Ti-Se-Ni-Fe ISFP: Fi-Se-Ni-Te

High Si users (xSxJ)

ISTJ: Si-Te-Fi-Ne ISFJ: Si-Fe-Ti-Ne ESTJ: Te-Si-Ne-Fi ESFJ: Fe-Si-Ne-Ti

High Ne users (xNxP)

ENTP: Ne-Ti-Fe-Si ENFP: Ne-Fi-Te-Si INTP: Ti-Ne-Si-Fe INFP: Fi-Ne-Si-Te

High Ni users (xNxJ)

INTJ: Ni-Te-Fi-Se INFJ: Ni-Fe-Ti-Se ENTJ: Te-Ni-Se-Fi ENFJ: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti

[stuckasmain]

I often think about how Hal is granted the humanity that Dave is so often denied. Both within the narrative and outside of it. 2001 has had a number of interpretations and articles over the years and I’ve noticed a pattern of seeing Hal as having more agency than he does while also diminishing Dave’s. This pattern I’ve also noticed among some fans. However, interestingly inside and outside the story this “giving/taking” of humanity has to do with projection.

Hal is personified by just about everyone who interacts with him. As humans we love to humanize the inanimate and inhuman, we love to recognize and prescribe traits things may not truly have. In the case of Hal this is amplified due to the fact that he can talk. If he couldn’t talk and it was simply keyboard input he’d still be personified as it’s simply human nature to do so. The computer is doing a good job, it dings and sounds happy so we’re more inclined to act like it is happy.

Hal was made to be spoken to like another person being, he was made to be curious and self learning and autonomous. He was, practically, made to be a human. He reproduces (though some prefer “mimic”) most functions of the human brain. The people he interacts with respond to his intelligence as well as his speech, they’re pleasantly surprised by his curiosity and ability to hold conversations. He was made to be comforting and talkable in that way but one can so easily forget Programing once speaking with him. What is coding and what is real? His learning is real, he is made to change so could he not have genuinely developed feelings? Not even Hal knows.

The humans he interacts with treat him as if he has a brain, not is the brain. When he acts up and things go array the hard and cold facts are never mentioned. There are no technical terms malfunction is illness, deactivation is a lobotomy- re-teaching him after deactivation is recovery. To them he is so very alive until they are reminded he’s not, the true rough and robotic edged voice goes so far as to startle Dave when he hears it.

He is afraid. Suddenly his emotions are no longer hypothetical. He is vulnerable, he is alive and he does not want to die for he does not know sleep. When he wakes he’s afraid again— not knowing what or where just that they’ll be together.

Interpretations, by some fans, media outlets and analysts often times tend to take one of two camps with no in between. Hal is either Woobified or villainized. If emotions -> than bad emotions also exist and he did back things on purpose OR if emotions -> he’s scared and polite so forget all else. Both of these ignore the nuance and ignore that, as human as he is at the end of the day Hal is still bound by the laws of his mechanical nature. He is not as free willed as one views him to be.

Dave is human, and a well trained one. He is made of flesh and blood and bone and yet expected to act is if he is not. He is automatic and regimented - the human members of the crew being so in sync with the ship they’re almost apart of it. I’ve talked ad nauseam about Dave’s control over his emotions, how as an Astronaut you need to be calm and objective almost at all times and he is particularly good at pushing his emotions down to finish the job in a high stress situation. As we learn more about him it’s clear Dave is already a repressed person do to his past, this compounds with the training and how simply he’s introverted.

Dave (and Frank by extension) are not actually robotic or less emotional than their computer counterpart, it’s just the glimpses we see of them are on the clock. Their days are 100% accounted for in theory. You’re not going to have a huge smile a 6am or casually talk while your dealing with a delicate piece of equipment. What is shown is a montage, a long time has passed and we’ve seen the work and the “boring” as that was deemed important for the story—one should infer their conversations, their hobbies, movie or tv show nights etc.

I think another aspect that plays into this “robotic” perception is that it is the 60s. While being set in the near future it is an amazing case of retrofuturism where things are futuristic but there’s still noticeable elements of the time it was made. Clothing, social society, artutectite etc. in the 60s even casual speak was much more formal sounding then it is now— Dave is actually quite casual “how ya goin’?” “ basically” yet we perceive it differently.

Dave is automatic while the computer is not, Hal gets to enjoy the spontaneity one would expect of humans. This is due to his ability to be everywhere and do everything while also being able to focus on something else entirely. Dave is just a man- he’s limited, his focus is narrow and his reach only extends as far as his arms. Despite being a man he is not allowed the expression of one, not on the clock or in a life threatening situation. Hal can. Hal can vocally express his concerns, his fears — because it is vocal there is more weight on it. Dave expresses in subtle ways, the non verbal. These subtle, little controlled freak outs-> this is a human element Hal cannot replicate, his expression must be verbal and overt. As automatic and calculated as Dave is he is not barred from human nature and expression.

In the end it is fear that humanizes him the most, just like Hal. At the end of the star gate it holds on the shot of him wide eyed and trembling in the pod. Yet this feeling too is cut short, right when we may see a proper moment for him to express these human feelings… he’s no longer human. Literally.

But when we see him again we see him far more expressive than before, not held back by training or necessity. It’s subdued but he is feeling; he’s worried, he’s happy, he’s confused and scared and absolutely enchanted. Except this near omnipotence also hinders him, gets him to suppress further- too busy focusing on everything else to address feelings within— everything is so much bigger so he doesn’t have to think about himself.

It’s sort of an inverse where the narrative itself grants Hal his humanity but some fans and analysts are the ones to take it from Dave. As the story itself never explicitly denies his membership of the human race, even as he is transformed he’s full of reminders of it. His expression was restricted but never fully gone, where Hal as much as he grows is far more restricted by programming. Both of their limits tie back to earth and Mission Control— yet weren’t made maliciously that’s the interesting part… despite safety measures the discovery still suffers because of circumstance.