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mysisters-bike · 7 months

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Eric Harris: Online

We explore Eric's affinity for escapism and his behavior online. Super long post, tl;dr at end.

As a teenager, Eric grew more withdrawn. His interests began to take shape around computers and he was particularly fond of Doom II, a 90’s first-person shooter in which the main character (Doomguy) fights hoards of demons on Earth. Doom II included multiplayer, as did its predecessor, Doom. However, one large development that Eric especially enjoyed was the ability to create custom levels for Doom II.

To this day, Eric’s Doom files (.wad) still roam the internet, somehow miraculously not lost to the sands of time. He seemed to particularly enjoy creating deathmatch levels and would encourage users reading the .readme files for his levels to email him and play with him.

Creating these levels for Doom was a passion project for Eric. He would work carefully on his wads, even going as far to create his own monster death animations. While it’s very easy to create and distribute modifications for most games today, this was an impressive feat in the mid-late 1990s. Computers and access to the internet was still hitting the homefront, albeit in a massive boom. As technology flourished in the home, Eric found a means to channel his creativity.

In the infamous “U.A.C. Labs” level, Eric created two fast-paced levels that incorporate jump-scares, plot-twists, and lots of action. He nearly overloaded one of the areas with a spawn of 150+ some monsters that is triggered by the player coming too close to a key that’s required to access the next area. Eric was very proud of this particular level, writing in the .readme: …This one took a damn long time to do, so send me some bloody credit man!...Authors may NOT use this level as a base to build additional levels. You may NOT change a damn thing with this WAD, if you do, I will blow you up. And it will be cool.

See below: blueprints drawn by Eric in his journal detailing one of his wads. These can be found throughout his writings.

Clearly, Eric was interested in protecting the level’s artistic integrity. This was work he took a great deal of pride in. Eric was described as being interested in pursuing a career in digital development by Brooks, who thought it was feasible he may end up as a videogame designer.

What was it about Doom that Eric enjoyed so much?

For starters, the game was paramount in its offering of gore, metal music, and gameplay. Doom was nonstop action with intriguing stories that could be followed along in both game and book. It is my theory that Eric enjoyed high-paced, high-action activities to stimulate a mind he was not entirely comfortable being alone with. This was also a world in which Eric could control – he could smite down the monsters in his path and he knew what lay around every corner. This may be considered a form of escapism, which is not necessarily new behavior in teenagers. Interestingly, however, there are multiple studies that have been conducted specifically observing the video game escapism phenomenon.

During periods of heightened psychological distress and escapism, the individual increases the amount of online activity, video game play-time, and gambling frequency (Jouhki, Savolainen, Sirola, & Oksanen, 2022). These three behaviors are specifically intriguing as they all provide forms of distraction.

Have you ever been to a casino? There are no windows, therefore, there is no sense of the passage of time. You are inundated by flashing lights, loud sounds, bright colors, and excitement. I once found myself with a drink in hand, sitting at a digital slot machine with interesting animations and upbeat music. It was a penny slot, but I won $20 on my first try. Next thing I knew, my friend and I had spent 5 fast hours playing slots, digital blackjack, and having the time of our lives. I ended up only losing $10 in the end.

Casinos are intended to be a distracting environment that draws in the consumer and traps them for hours of endless stimulation. This is the same idea applied to video games, which are intended to provide hours of entertainment, something humans are constantly in search of. For example, small rodents do not require a television. While providing pet rodents with enrichment is undoubtedly very healthy for them, their enrichment simulates foraging, which is their biological purpose. Humans, now more than ever, rely on entertainment from every angle. It is especially difficult for those going through a psychological hardship to not stimulate their minds. Rather, it can be easier to avoid and escape the difficult and, often, intrusive thoughts. Psychological distress and a method to avoid dealing with such troubles creates the perfect storm within an emotionally unintelligent and unequipped teenage boy.

Eric spending hours building a new level in Doom was simply a way to ease the passage of time. Controlling and manipulating the environment may have provided a sense of control that was not otherwise found in everyday life. In addition to this, Eric understood Doom better than he was capable of understanding his emotions.

To Eric, Doom symbolized something he was not: powerful, strong, and capable. In the basement tapes, Eric and Dylan explain their murderous motivations. Eric references his favorite game: “It’s gonna be like fucking Doom man; after the bombs explode.”

I often argue against the claim that video games were to blame for Eric’s violent behavior and plans despite this evidence. Longitudinal studies have proven that video games do not influence violent crime or behavior. After a 2-year study on Singapore youth, it was concluded that 27 hours of gameplay per day would be required to see any clinical effects or behavioral changes due to violent video games (Ferguson and Wang, 2019). In Eric’s own words, he was fighting himself to separate from his moral compass in order to follow through with the plan he and Dylan had been concocting. In order to do this, he began to think of their plan like it was another Doom level he was crafting. Video games may not be the direct cause of Eric’s violence, but I do believe he used them to justify his violence (to himself).

It was also during this time that the social internet was booming. WebChat Broadcasting System (WBS) and American Online (AOL) began the excitement of site hosting and chatrooms. Personal profiles encouraged a space for teenagers like Eric to freely share their thoughts and interests and connect with others on a scale that had not yet been seen before. Eric took an extremely strong liking to the new social sphere he’d discovered and created multiple AOL profiles and webpages.

Eric even created a webpage to host a series of “Jo Mamma” anti-jokes, crediting himself, Dylan, and Zack Heckler under their respective screen names Reb, VoDkA, and KiBBZ. One of the jokes on their site read: Jo mamma so fat she doesnt even look at the nutrition value tables on the food boxes she eats.....she just buys them and eats them.....cause shes fat...JJJEEYAAAAAA!!!!

Much like people today sharing private thoughts on Facebook or Twitter, Eric was sharing his private thoughts on his own websites. Ranging from “jo mamma” jokes to death threats, Eric didn’t hesitate over-sharing every thought he had on his personal blog.

Online oversharing is an extremely new and modern communicative phenomenon. The scale at which humans are now able to communicate is unprecedented and, frankly, not something humans were ever equipped to be able to do. Eric’s internet presence feels like a primitive version of how a teenager today would dump their opinions and ideas onto Twitter.

On these blogs, Eric would share self-described “missions” in which he and Dylan would test homemade pipe bombs. He described lists of things he hated, desires to kill others, and people he hated. As we have already discussed, Eric would also make mention of Brooks Brown.

Eric would also describe fantasizing breaking into Brooks’s home and urinating on him and his family members and would also, unprompted, share Brooks’s phone number in a “mission” post. Eric would share Brooks’s number online on multiple occasions:

…This mission was also liquor free as a result of this person named Brooks Brown (phone number) who tried to narc on us.

A reason he might have shared such tenacious things online was to seek the thrill of seeing what he could publicly get away with or attention from outsiders. Eric might have enjoyed attention from any angle, be it support for his ideals or shock. This attention, no matter where it came from, would still feed his ego. Eric wanted people to see and he didn’t care what they thought.

Studies have shown that individuals who post their own photos or private messages to personal blogs are attempting to construct their desired public identity (Jung, Song, & Vorderer, 2012). As Eric shared more and more deeply personal thoughts, he was further crafting the public Doom-esque image of himself he wanted others to see.

Eric also displayed a troubling tendency to overshare online. Have you ever scrolled on your social media timelines and found a post that was just unsettlingly personal and wondered, Why on Earth would anyone want to share that publicly?

The tendency to overshare just stems from an overall need for attention. Social media provides a very easy way to continuously farm serotonin. Consistently sharing ideas and thoughts into a space where others can very easily validate them can almost serve as catharsis for a large amount of people. However, oversharing on social media has actually been discovered to have a direct association with anxiety issues, problematic social media use, and attention-seeking behaviors (Shabahang, Shim, Aruguete, & Zsila, 2022).

I theorize that Eric was mainly searching for attention with each new entry he put forth onto the internet. This was a teenager who had been deprived of the right kinds of attention and would seek to push boundaries in order to get it. His posts were also indicative of his declining mental state. As his posts became darker and darker, it became clear that this was not only Eric’s outlet for gaining attention, but in some areas had evolved into his personal massacre planner.

Read one of Eric's most troubling online posts here (pages 39 and 40)

What would prompt someone to write such horrible things? Why did Eric feel this way? Why did he claim to hate the world? What about his life left him and Dylan feeling like they “had no other choice?” I theorize that Eric projected his loneliness and lack of meaningful relationships onto the rest of the world. After all, how could any of this be his fault? In his mind, something must have been terribly wrong with him to be rejected by everyone.

Why was he so angry? Truly, we can see that Eric’s anger was displaced. I theorize that Eric blamed the world that felt like it had betrayed him so many times for his shortcomings. His self-esteem was incredibly low and he was poor at maintaining friendships. From time to time, he was targeted by bullies and felt like an outsider. Rejected children often react aggressively and underestimate how disliked they are by their peers.

Numerous witness statements describe a distaste or distrust of Eric. One incident after another, people found Eric unapproachable. He kept mutual friends with Dylan, but it’s most likely he was more Dylan’s friend in the circle than he was anyone else’s.

TL;DR:

Playing Doom and creating .wads for the game was a form of escapism for Eric; he could create a world he was in control of

Escapism damages an individual's ability to solve emotional problems; it's not a relief, it's merely "putting off" the problem the individual must solve without teaching any healthy coping mechanisms

Eric was crafting an image of himself that he wanted others to perceive; someone who was strong, badass, in control, and took no names...all of which he did not truly think he was. Eric knew he was just an average teenage boy and he hated it

Eric needed attention from anyone he could find, whether or not those accolades be positive or negative. He was pushing his boundaries to see what he could get away with; to see what he could feel

I've been taking all of what I'm posting from a case study I wrote a while back. I keep forgetting to cite my sources since it's...you know...tumblr.

References:

Ferguson, C. J. & Wang, C. K. J. (2019). Aggressive video games are not a risk factor for future aggression in youth: A longitudinal stud. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 48. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10964-019-01069-0

Jouhki, H., Savolainen, I., Sirola, A., & Oksanen, A. (2022). Escapism and Excessive Online Behaviors: A Three-Wave Longitudinal Study in Finland during the COVID-19 Pandemic. Int J Environ Res Public Health, 19(19). doi: 10.3390/ijerph191912491.

Jung, Y., Song, H., & Vorderer, P. (2012). Why do people post and read personal messages in public? The motivation of using persona blogs and its effects on user's loneliness, belonging, and well-being. Computers in Human Behavior, 28(5). pp 1626-1633. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2012.04.001

Shabahang, R., Shim, H., Aruguete, M. A., & Zsila, A. (2022). Oversharing on Social Media: Anxiety, Attention-Seeking, and Social Media Addiction Predict the Breadth and Depth of Sharing. Psychological Reports. https://doi.org/10.1177/00332941221122861

#eric harris #dylan klebold #columbine #true crime #tcc #true crime community #psychology #i have a degree :-|

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mtkay13 · 11 months

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WenZhou x Memes! and, of course, some thoughts. More memes below + explanations! (Very Long Post)

You know other men?

The first one above was based on a famous "you know other men?" meme, that Bichen suggested we take part in (in the TYK community). I wanted to make ZZS smile at WKX's antics because it makes him laugh, ofc, and because he's quite fond of that wife act WKX enjoys playing so much.

The Barbie meme

Interestingly enough, this one has sparked quite a bunch of discussions online. When we had talked about making the meme for TYK!WenZhou, both Moose (@butleronice) and I thought that having ZZS as the serious one felt a bit strange. I feel like TYK!ZZS as I know him is rather goofy and would be more likely to make fun of the situation and the authorities that he doesn't take seriously.

WKX, besides in ZZS' presence, in the book, tends to act very cold and not necessarily civil--especially if you think those would be Jianghu authorities. Not saying the reverse wouldn't work, of course! But for my conception of the characters, it felt off. However--on twitter, we both received more comments than necessary saying: "This should be the opposite." "WKX should be the fun one--", etc. I have to confess that this left me worried regarding ZZS' reputation, considering that more often than not, when I make him to be the goofier, more stupid looking one, I get surprised reactions. I wonder what exactly has given him these... serious, un-fun vibes for many people.

The way I see it, in the book, ZZS is quite fun, overly civil and polite in a fake-smiley way, gets himself in absurd situations and WKX comments on him as being ridiculous and goofy. Of course, in ZZS' presence, WKX himself acts in a very extra way, but overall, in the book, WKX is quite closed-off and cold towards others, and doesn't give those vibes of being fun, extra or goofy to me. (I won't lie, I do blame the first and most popular translations for that, as they make ZZS quite stiff in the dialogs and I feel like this doesn't help...) I don't think it's a problem if people see them differently, though! But it was upsetting to see how some people did (quite rudely in some case) allow themselves to tell us how wrong we were, especially considering the time and care we both put in our decision to characterise them this way (and work on their expressions).

I recommend going to check Moose's version on her twitter as well (@butleronduty)!!

Equal strength

This one was based on a meme posted by Choco (@kwehxing) on twitter; about how this dialog would be fun for WenZhou.

I, once again, considered that yeah, maybe the default would have WKX turn any situation into a reason to fuck--but at the same time, I wondered: is it really his style? Isn't he having plenty of situations in which he can bring that up, already? I like to read ZZS as having a certain competence kink, and I think he gets off of sparring and feeling WKX's strength. I thought it fun to imagine him getting really worked up from sparring and using that as an excuse to demand fucking because OBVIOUSLY what else. I guess that to me, this is a reflection of how his mind is working.

The Tintin parody

My friend Angel brought a tintin parody comic from the @tintinades account on twitter and instagram. Here is the original. I thought it could be really fun to adapt it for WenZhou with a little twist at the end. Of course, mastering qinggong, WenZhou probably don't really need the ropes--although I think that ZCL isn't able to safely cross the road yet which is why they wanted to make a way. However, WKX clearly got distracted and went on ahead, hehe.

The distracted BF

This one was suggested by Bichen again--a classic, which worked really well and was actually quite funny when using Hoboxu.

He wants to order

This was the first meme I ever drew for WenZhou, following the "he/she wants to order" pattern. Pretty self-explanatory!

#wenzhou #tian ya ke #zhou zishu #wen kexing #meme #tyk #zzs #wkx

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dreamingalto · 29 days

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I was slightly bored and couldn't decide on what to do... and then I remembered the Hunger Games Simulator existed.

And I have been watching too much Dan and Phil lately...

One thing lead to another and I eventually ended up with the following:

The Phangry Games

Naming logic went something like this: Hunger to Hungry. Gotta insert the infamous Ph at the beginning. Phangry.

Also yes Pastel Phil is accidentally named Punk Phil I didn't notice the mistake until after I began.

And it turned out 1000% more entertaining than I ever thought it could be.

So right off the bat, we have BIG Dan and Craftie Dan planning their fishing trip while Hiatus Dan is staying in character and fucking right off.

Then a couple of them are fighting for bags but the bloodbath is staying pretty safe right now.

In fact, there is only 1 death during the bloodbath.

Thought that meant that Day 1 was going to be a slow start but I SPOKE WAY TOO SOON! First, one of the craftie boys bites the dust to an infection of all things. Apparently HE doesn't provide medical care for infections.

Interactive Introverts Phil also tried to get rid of the current Phil but he managed to escape. So really, no harm no foul.

Then the Acid Rain started and DAMN DAN AND PHIL (spoiler: especially Dan) CAN NOT SURVIVE ACID RAIN VERY WELL AT ALL!

The day ended with only 11 survivors. 7 Phils and 4 Dans. PINOFs, Punks, Crafties, and WAD Era have all been completely eliminated!

At this point, I decide I am rooting for the 2009 boys, Sister Daniel, or COTY and Revival (AKA the Current/2024) Phil. But I was also just immensely amused at how quickly the simulator popped off this time.

The first night was pretty quiet with no deaths or anything occuring. Some of the Phils snuggled up together while Revival Phil snuggled up with 2009 Dan.

Then almost immediately on Day 2, a group with both the 2009 Boys, COTY Phil, and Sister Daniel actually raid Revival Phil's camp. So 10/10 on the betrayal there 2009 Dan.

It stays quiet the rest of day 2. AND INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH ON NIGHT 2!

Phil STOP TRUSTING 2009 DAN HE LITERALLY HELPED RAID YOUR CAMP EARLIER!

But besides the whole trust and betrayal plot with those two, we have both of the hiatus boys deciding that it was time to start the hiatus for everyone else.

Hiatus Phil going for the more strategic kill as Pastel Phil is only Phil who has a kill up to this point.

Day 3 brings the feast. And just like BIG Dan tripped and died during the acid rain...

Coming out of the closet apparently involved tripping out of the closet.

The feast also included the continuation of the Hiatus Boys kill streak with them getting rid of half of the remaining Dans.

I really apperciate Hiatus Dan's commitment to lore accuracy.

This left only 6 tributes for the rest of Day 3.

Which turned to the final five tributes almost immediately with 2009 Phil finishing off the TATINOF era team.

All that is left in the Final Five is the 2009 Boys, the Hiatus Boys, and Revival Phil.

Night 3 is pretty quiet. But Day 4 ends up leveling the playing field with Hiatus Phil accidentally eating toxic berries.

Nothing in particular happens on Night 4 EXCEPT for the fact that 2009 Dan is now snuggling up with Hiatus Dan.

AND WITH A TASTE OF HIS OWN BETRAYAL MEDICINE FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME, Hiatus Dan tries but fails to eliminate 2009 Dan in the morning of Day 5.

After the failed attempt to eliminate 2009 Dan, Night 5 is actually pretty quiet. But on Day 6, Hiatus Dan sets his sights on the 2009 team again.

This brought us to the final three. 2009 Dan and Revival Phil, who both have no kills so far. And Hiatus Dan, who has brought a hiatus to at least three other Dans/Phils.

I don't have that much faith in either 2009 Dan or Revival Phil, but anything can happen in this simulator.

And on Night 6:

Revival Phil, in a bit of an ironic twist of following lore accuracy, put an end to Hiatus Dan while 2009 Dan actually ended up on fire.

No I am not sorry for that last sentence.

THIS MAKES PHIL THE WINNER OF THE ENTIRE PHANGRY GAMES!

The simulation turned out a lot more dramatic than I have experienced in the past (with the whole underlying Trust/Betrayal Plotline that ended up emerging with the final three) and was so funny to go through.

Here is a link to the simulator in case this post reminded you this simulator existed and you wanted to try it for yourself.

(The above link should load up the DnP Season as shown in the first image but it might not work after around three months due to the websites saving policy)

#dan and phil #dan and phil games #daniel howell #phil lester #amazingphil #phan #the phangry games #edit: accidentally hit post while I was finishing adding all the alt text #thought I accidentally deleted the whole post for a moment and was a little upset #be careful editing long posts on tumblr mobile lol.

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a-local-idiots-shitpost · 1 year

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Headcanons on the Brothers more Monstrous forms

anyway my Headcanons on how the Brothers could be monstrous looking also turned out longer than I would have thought with 1753 words, if there is interest maybe I´ll do one for the Dateables and Side Characters when I have time for it again, also Asmo´s got a bit short mostly because his form is supposed to be rather ambiguous

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lucifer:

did you guys know that Seraphim Angels are mostly just depicted as just a bunch of eyes, one big eye and usually six pairs of wings?

Imagine these features alongside a massive twisted humanoid figure

and with massive I would say easily the height of a house and than some more

but you can see that he is a Demon

I could also see that Lucifer being the oldest and strongest is probably the only one who somehow managed to keep a somewhat angelic form

despite the remains of his Halo which are embedded in his skin he still has his usual horns, but his are longer and he has three additional ones, they kinda resemble a Crown interestingly enough

his skin is also interesting it seems like it barely fits onto his body, it somehow manages to look stretched beyond it´s limits but also leathery and a bit wrinkly to simply explain it, his scares from the Celestial War are also more prominent like this, he actually still has somewhat six wings his four regrown one which even in this form even have some feathers but they look unhealthy and burned, the remains of the other two who look like they are slowly growing back

despite his kinda humanoid body his “face” only makes up a skull and one eye, because of this his “voice” also sounds staticy when he “speaks”

he has hands and legs but they are incredibly difficult to make out just as the rest of his body, it almost looks like he has only his Wings and Eye

Mammon:

he looks somewhat how you would imagine a Crow Harpy

he has incredibly sharp talons, which he usually uses to pick of Demons who wear valuable or shiny jewelry and his feathers are mostly golden colored with white tips, inverted on how his hair looks in his Demon form (White hair with Golden tips), some people even claimed that either Mammon himself or someone else covered them in actual Gold but currently those are only rumors and Mammon refuses to say what is the truth and what is false

it´s actually hard to tell if he has an extra pair of arms or his wings just look like he has more then one pair of hands, it could also be possible that he has two hands on each of his wings, but whether or not he has more hands or arms his nails can easily cut through someones flesh just like his talons

as an additional note his feet do look more like a typical birds one but he does have five toes like a Human unlike the four birds usually have, but those are the only similarities

he sometimes also hides his crows in his feathers, either so they have a safe place to hide, staying close to him in case he needs them or to help him clean his feathers

weirdly enough despite pretty much looking like a crow he does not have a beak, but his teeth are noticeably sharper like this, probably to make it easier for him to eat his pray

Leviathan:

Levi actually looks like someone took a sea serpent and decided to attach some arms onto it and replace it´s head with a Humans

it´s actually unknown how long he is like this, no one ever managed to fully see him in the water but he can easily dwarf all of the surface sea creatures in the Devildom and most of the deep sea ones, so needless to say he must be massive

because he spends most of his time in the deep sea parts of the Devildom he actually managed to develop a form of bioluminescens but no one can explain how this happened or how it was even possible, before this he was actually very good at navigating in the dark, he still is but not as good as before

there are some rumors going around that when Levi once visited the Human Realm and was seen by some old time sailors that he started the myth of the World Serpent

the only Humanoid features he possess in this form are actually just the shape of his head and the fact that he has arms, he also has the tongue of a snake

Levi´s bioluminescens is also sometimes useful for attracting pray, most of the time the fish swim away from him but bigger ones usually follow it, which makes it very easy for him to catch pray, some speculate that the light somehow manipulate the fish who see it, similar to his Brother Asmo´s charm ability and this might be why only big fish approach instead of swimming away because they would be the only useful substance for him

it´s also a known fact that in this form Levi sometimes causes disasters just from moving to fast, the last time he actively hunted and chased after pray he cause a tsunami that luckily only flooded the Devildom and most citizens only had to deal with water damages and some light injuries

Satan:

Satan actually has no skin and is just made up of all kinds of bones, in the beginning he did kinda look similar to how Lucifer looks now just a bit smaller, but he learned rather quickly that he can attach bones he found or got from his Victims onto his body, though his actual bones are far more durable then the ones he attaches onto himself

his actual bones are also covered in scratches from the fights he get´s into but the most are from the time he participated in the Great Celestial War

his actual bones are also very sharp, pointed and some even stick out like needles, just touching can sometimes result in deep cuts into ones skin, it is usually recommended to keep distance from Satan when he is in this form, he´s also know to cause anger and aggression to those who are near him another reason to stay away from him in this form no matter what, this happens whether Satan wants to or not

though some people claimed that some of his Feline friends aren´t affected at all and even cuddle with him whenever they can, Satan usually moves his bones so they won´t get hurt

another curious thing to note about this form of Satan is despite his lack of skin he does have some feathers growing out of his back but he usually tears them out as soon as he sees them because they remind him of Lucifer´s wings

Asmodeus:

it´s… actually hard to tell what Asmo truly looks like, most people just see Asmo as whatever they would feel most attracted to or feel aesthetically pleased by to see

but some people that don´t immediately succumb to Asmo´s charms usually say Asmo looks like a whispy dark mass who constantly changes it´s form, though some claimed they could make out some kind of tail, further questioning of those people revealed that it most likely was a Scorpions tail or something strongly resembling one

it´s nearly impossible to truly summarize what Asmodeus looks like, it might be that even they are the only one who know what they truly look like

but they also aren´t willing to show others what they look like, Asmo would just prefer people seeing them as what they want Asmo to look like

Beelzebub:

Beel´s form is rather inconsistent and highly dependent on how much he ate and how much time has passed since he ate

if he hasn´t eaten in 12 hours or not enough so he can feel “full”, or as much a personification of Gluttony can feel full, his form while still massive compared to a Human is a lot smaller than how he looks when he ate enough, his Fly Wings are smaller than usual

Beel himself will look far more starved than his more well fed form, so much so that he literally just looks like skin and bones, his skin is even so thin and stretched like this that cracks are starting to form and it´s not unusual for his skin to tear open if he moves to much, though he rarely feels it when this happens

but if he had enough substance not only would he be the Fourth tallest Brother, which at first sounds less impressive if you forget the fact that 3 of them can easily dwarf a lot of buildings, he´s slightly humanoid which just means he has a Human shape, he actually resembles a fly more than a Human, he has the eyes of a fly and the wings of one but his skin is a ashy gray tone and it looks like his skin is littered with… mouths??? eyes??? something else???

it´s hard to say what those weird parts on his body are there IS definitely something but no one ever saw what it is or maybe the ones that saw what they are are already long gone, I mean Beelzebub does know what they are but he never tells anybody

Belphegor:

he actually just looks like a Minotaur, I mean when the Minotaur had a more Cowlike head instead of a Bulls and the fur color and patterns of one, which I suppose makes him a Cowtaur?

though he is taller than the average Centaur and this is not the only difference between them and Belphie, minus the appearance of course, he´s also a lot stronger and faster than the usual ones and I guess you can count his tail which does resemble his “Demon Form” ones but this one is a bit longer and the fur on his tail is shorter

which during the early days of his Demon days he used this to his advantage to trick manly Monster Hunters and Humans who felt adventurous into attacking him so he can kill them and has an excuse when someone tries to scold him

actually there are some rumors that Belphie still goes up into the Human world but he only visits only one specific place everytime, wonder why that is?

it´s also said that he´s incredibly territorial over this place you better not be seen by him otherwise it´s over for you and no amount of running can save you

#obey me #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #lucifer avatar of pride #obey me mammon #mammon avatar of greed #leviathan avatar of envy #obey me leviathan #satan avatar of wrath #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #asmodeus avatar of lust #obey me beelzebub #beelzebub avatar of gluttony #obey me belphegor #belphegor avatar of sloth #obey me brothers

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saintsenara · 2 months

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thoughts on sirius/narcissa

thank you very much for the ask, anon! this has the potential to be an interesting and controversial one...

i've spoken here and there about how - as much as i loathe the character commonly known as fanon!sirius - i'm also not the biggest fan of a version of sirius which has emerged as a reaction to this, who we might call dark!aristocrat!sirius.

this sirius - who appears not to have realised his canon self is being sarcastic when he says his parents considered themselves "practically royal" - is, i'm sorry to say to the aristocracy fans, just as distorted a version of the character as the heavily-tattooed and tiny fanon!sirius. and that's fine, obviously - people are entitled to like and read and write what they want - but it's not going to stop a tear beading in my eye whenever i see it...

[one day i'll hit publish on my the black family are not politically important manifesto and be removed from the fandom...]

which is to say, the sirius who tends to be shipped with one or other of his cousins - although, for exactly the tedious pro-aristocracy, people-belong-with-their-own-kind reasons outlined above, the cousin in question never seems to be andromeda - is this dark aristocrat version, and he's usually written as wanting to fuck either narcissa or bellatrix because the only woman worthy to be with a male scion of the house of black is a female scion of the same house.

and i think it's out-of-character and i think it's dull!

now, if you're looking for the whole twisted-obsession-ruins-the-vibe thing, i can see that there's a plausible case for sirius/bellatrix - they're set up by the canon narrative as extraordinarily similar [and i absolutely read sirius' claim in order of the phoenix that andromeda was his favourite cousin as a lie, covering up the fact that, as a child at least, that role was taken by bellatrix]. i think there's something very interesting which can be done with both of them shattering the expectations of their families in ways which would evidently be quite shocking in a society with such restrictive mores. bellatrix massively defies gendered conventions which require a pureblood woman of her social class to be little more than a wife and mother [although that she does so without being able to leave her family, like sirius, is because - you guessed it! - of those gendered conventions themselves], while sirius shirks his expected social role as the eldest son, upsetting the "natural" order of things in his family's eyes. that can, i think give some interesting flavour to that pairing.

but sirius and narcissa never - in my view - hits in the same way. while they're closer in age than sirius and bellatrix, their personality types are sufficiently divergent [but not in an interestingly conflicting way - their major difference is largely that narcissa doesn't seem to be particularly fun] that the spark is lacking. and this, i think, is the reason why siricissa tends to hang really heavily on the idea that it is hot, glamorous, and aristocratic to have sex with your first cousin.

and look, one of the only bits of "pureblood culture" fanon i accept is the idea that blood-supremacist families practise arranged marriage [i think sirius' comment in order of the phoenix about parents "only letting" their children marry other purebloods essentially confirms it], and that first cousin marriage may well be their cultural practise as well. but arranged marriages [and, indeed, cousin marriages - which are obviously considered much less unusual in some cultures than others] aren't inherently interesting things. they're just things some people do.

but the vast, vast majority of the sirius/bellatrix or sirius/narcissa i've ever seen thinks that the blood-relation element and that alone is enough to justify the ship as hot and exciting and wicked. and it's not.

what i would like to make the case for instead is shipping narcissa with regulus.

my reading of narcissa has always been that she's somebody who - a little like petunia dursley - feels an absolutely enormous pressure to adhere to social convention, owing to the shame she perceives her family as receiving following both andromeda's desertion of them and bellatrix's refusal to conform. she's someone, i think, who really leans into the character of the perfect lady-of-the-manor, the model wife and mother, the pure ideal of wizarding womanhood - and i think you can do a lot with her experience in this gilded prison of her own, and society's, making.

regulus too is someone who canonically conforms - again, as sirius tells us, as a reaction to sirius' own defiance of the behaviour expected of him by his class and blood status. i think the two of them finding themselves in a relationship which is constantly battling against this artifice - whether they end up clinging all the more tightly to the masks they wear in public or they're able to help each other gradually become more open and real - would absolutely slap.

#asks answered #asenora's opinions on ships #siricissa #sirius black #narcissa malfoy #this isn't a safe space for pro-aristocracy takes #it comes from living in a colony

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thesunshineriptide · 2 years

Note

I was thinking, what if while at Y/N's house the boys end up finding the Grimm Brothers/Original stories they're based off. Like the original Snow White or Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Anderson. And Y/N admitting that they were more familiar with those versions than the Disney version was expecting to be skinned alive when they first arrived in Twisted Wonderland

I’m so so fucking pumped for this ask because I’m a huge NERD and I know the original stories so well. Fairytales and folk tales and mythology are one of my special interests you cut straight to my heart thank you anon. Also you didn’t specify what universe this is so I’m putting it in the our world au and if you want me to do the other characters I will GLADLY do them I adore these. ++ I will probably do Idia reacting to Greek myths sometime soon but my brain is honestly kinda mush and narrowing down just one myth is a little hard but I’ll get back to it

This Isn’t How Our Story Ends

Characters: Riddle, Trey, Leona, Ruggie, Azul, Jade, Floyd, Kalim, Jamil, Vil, Rook, Idia, Malleus, Lilia

Warning: the original tales of each story are dark. As such, there will be mentions of mature topics such as death, poisoning, drowning, murder, insanity, and more. Read at your own discretion.

Cw// spoilers for chapters 1-5, swearing, dark topics and themes.

“What’s this?” He had asked innocently, holding up the book in question.

“Huh? Oh, that’s…” Yuu thought of how to explain this, “Well, it’s a story. Kinda. Um…well…”

Hamlet

It’s fairly well known that the story of Hamlet is the origin of The Lion King (although interestingly enough it seems there’s a real life historical parallel with the story of Sundiata Keita) thus Leona and Ruggie’s interests in this particular story may wain. Shakespeare is dreadfully dry at times and best performed live, which means…Movie night! For this particular iteration I would recommend watching a live taping rather than a film adaptation because otherwise you just miss out on like, half the important shit. Also if you haven’t read or seen hamlet there’s a lovely novelized adaptation that actually adds MORE content and makes it very fun

Leona sat back as he watched the actors take the final bow. Ruggie was nervously sitting beside him, shifting from side to side like he couldn’t quite get comfortable.

“They all died?”

“Yep.” Yuu responded dispassionately.

“And the uncle…” Leona started, eyes looking over everything in the room except Yuu and Ruggie, “In the, uh…”

“That’s the king of beasts, in your world.” They said, “It’s…yeah.”

“He killed for the throne?” Ruggie asked, somewhat surprised.

“I mean, Leona tried to kill Malleus for a game, I’m not sure why you’re surprised.”

“I wasn’t gonna kill ‘im.” Leona grumbled, “Just put him out of commission for a while. Not tryina start a war or anything…”

“Okay, you attempted to maybe kill him.”

“That’s not- whatever.” He sighed, “So, I’m the uncle. Is Ruggie the guy who got stabbed? The…sheriff? Or whatever?”

“I guess in this analogy, yes.”

“Gross.” Ruggie wrinkled his nose, “I’d rather be the girl.”

“Ophelia?”

“Is that the one that drowned?”

“Yes?” Yuu worried.

“Yeah, her. Anything to get away from this analogy.”

Leona snickered and ruffled Ruggie’s hair, earning him a harsh smack to the forearm which he ignored.

“Did the king of beasts have his own sheriff? According to your world?”

“Uh, he had the hyenas. And Zazu, I guess, but none were exactly loyal.”

“Did the king of beasts kill his nephew?” Ruggie blurted out.

“Nah, but he tried. Instead, the nephew killed him.”

Leona wrinkled his nose, joking in a deadpan tone, “Guess it’s time to off the little furball back home.” When neither Yuu nor Ruggie laughed, he frowned, “You know I’m joking, right? I wouldn’t kill my nephew.”

“You tried to kill me.” Ruggie said.

“And me.” Yuu agreed.

“That was ONE TIME-“

The Little Mermaid

Fun facts the little mermaid was written by Hans Christian Andersen and depending on the historical lens you like to apply was maybe gay. Also, the sea witch doesn’t have a name and doesn’t have eels which means Azul and the twins will be sorely disappointed. Anyway the original story is an angst fest because Hans was an emo at his core and the princess dies at the end

Azul stared at the pages of the book as he slowly closed it. He adjusted his glasses, looking to the twins as he finished. The two looked sick, wearing grim expressions. Floyd stared to his shoes while Jade looked to Azul.

The Octavinelle dorm leader cleared his throat, then took a sip of his water. After a few moments, he turned to Yuu.

“This was a deeply unpleasant experience.”

Yuu snorted a little and nodded, “Fair enough. It’s honestly what I thought was gonna happen to me when I made that deal with you.”

All three of them looked shocked and stared at Yuu like they’d grown three heads.

“Yuu…” Jade started tentatively.

“You know turning to sea foam is like, the worst punishment you can get in the Coral Sea, right?” Floyd cut in, eyes blunt.

Yuu’s expression dropped. They turned and checked each of the trio to see if they were joking and…no, no that’s real.

“What?”

Jade stared at them in deep contemplation, before piping up, “I suppose you wouldn’t know that, it isn’t something the kingdom advertises, per say…”

“But it’s something almost every merman knows.” Azul finished, “This version of the sea witch is…cruel. Unusually so, to sentence a mermaid to that hell.”

“And a princess, nonetheless.” Jade agreed, “Incredibly vile.”

“‘M real glad that’s now our real history. Just somethin the land folk made up, although it’s still rude.” Floyd said, taking the book, “It’s a real stupid deal anyway, the sea witch didn’t even get anything from that. And she didn’t even have any eels!”

“Maybe it was a different sea witch? I dunno man, it’s honestly kinda what I thought I’d be in for.”

“Is that why you were so fearful when we intervened with your proceedings?” Jade asked, looking somewhat amused, “Prefect, we wouldn’t be that cruel.”

“I mean, we could.” Floyd leaned in, teeth sparkling white as the sun shone off them. He could have given a lens flare. “But we like you, so we won’t.”

“We couldn’t be that cruel.” Azul said firmly, “The fate of becoming sea foam is certainly no joke. We wouldn’t dream of it.”

Yuu was a bit flushed in their embarrassment, turning away to mumble something.

“What was that?” Azul hummed

“I said I feel stupid.”

“Sorry, one more time, I couldn’t hear you.” Jade grinned, leaning in closer.

“I Said,” they turned toward the trio, “That now I feel stupid.”

The three just smirked smugly back and Yuu felt like maybe they wished they’d turned to sea foam (not really)

1001 Arabian Nights

The original story of Aladdin and his magic lamp was honestly very different from the Disney film. Beyond some basic plot points (princess in a castle being in love with a street boy, a genie, etc) the story is virtually different. The main apparent thing being that there’s not one, but TWO genies, and the evil schemer is a wizard pretending to be Aladdin’s uncle, not a vizier taking advantage of the king. On the whole, I think Jamil and Kalim would be interested but wholly unimpressed. Oh, also a lot of murder.

Jamil hummed as he looked at the last page, tilting his head to the side as he thought.

“Aladdin doesn’t…seem like a good person.” Kalim said, staring at the book Jamil was holding. “He just…killed someone?”

“Granted, it was to save the princess,” Jamil began, looking to Kalim for only a moment. He gazed back down, “I can understand something like that. However…”

“There’s a lot of…slavery in this story.” Kalim finished, messing with his fingers, “I don’t like that.”

“The Asim Family-“

“I would never want you to do something you don’t want to.” Kalim said solemnly.

Jamil went silent, looking out the window. He tapped his finger against the edge of the book, lost in thought. “I still do, though. There are plenty of things I do for you that I don’t like.”

There was a silence as Yuu looked between them. Kalim looked hurt, and ashamed. Jamil looked…carefully put together. But deeply uncomfortable.

Yuu cautiously reached forward, taking the book from Jamil, who didn’t acknowledge it but did allow them to take it.

“I’m quite interested in this Roc bird that’s mentioned,” Jamil said suddenly, “It is to be the master of all genies?”

“Maybe it commands Azul.” Yuu joked, thinking back to Jamil’s words just before he’d overblotted.

Jamil glowered in return, but this did earn a laugh from Kalim.

The vice housewarden turned to contemplate the coffee table rather deeply, then murmured, “This tale does ring similar to our history, but rather different. It’s…odd. Like they were cut from the same cloth.”

Yuu shrugged, “It’s just a story. Nobody really got hurt.” They assured when Kalim looked momentarily uncomfortable again.

Snow White

The Grimm telling of Snow White is also fairly similar to the Disney telling, with the exception of the Evil Queen being WAY more persistent in the murder thing. She attempts to kill Snow three times. The first by cinching her corset so tight that she passed out, but it was unable to kill her. She tries again by gifting her a poisoned hair comb, which again fails to kill her. The third time, the poisoned apple, is the charm. She bites the apple, goes into a coma, glass coffin blah blah blah. Prince finds her coffin, decides she’s a real babe and takes her and the coffin home with him. On the journey back, one of the prince’s servants trips and knocks the coffin into something, which somehow manages to dislodge the piece of apple in the princess’s throat and bring her back to life. Yay! Then she tries to kill her again, fails, and is punished to dance in red hot slippers until she dies. Yay…?

Vil and Rook sat on opposite sides of the couch. Rook was staring pointedly at the wall while Vil was staring directly at the hunter.

“It’s quite interesting-“

“Not a word out of you.” Vil cut him off, turning his attention to his nails instead.

Yuu sat across from them, snapping the book shut to put it away, “Maybe this wasn’t a great idea.”

“You think?”

Rook looked like he wanted to say something, a finger up as though he were conducting an invisible choir.

“Rook Hunt. Keep your mouth shut, you fucking traitor.”

“You said you wished for me to be true in my heart!” He defended.

Yuu took this as the moment to leave the room, clutching the book close,

“Spudling, where are you going? Come back here.”

Yuu squeaked nervously before coming back to stand in front of him, a sheepish smile on their face, “Hmm?”

Vil looked them up and down, before leaning forward to straighten Yuu’s clothes, “Spudling, is this why you were so nervous when Trappola and Spade ate that apple tart?”

“I honestly kinda thought you killed them.” Yuu admitted with a titter.

Vil’s eyebrows shot up as he glanced to make eye contact with them, “Do you think I’m so cruel?”

“I didn’t know what to think.” They said honestly, hands reaching to stop Vil’s from moving, “All I knew was that Rook calls you the king of poisons, and my friends suddenly collapsed after eating apples. Two and two together lead to poisoning.”

Rook began to laugh loudly, then coughed to cover it and continued to not look at Vil.

Vil frowned, “I would never kill anyone, Spudling-“

“Except Neige.”

“NEIGE KNOWS WHAT HE FUCKING DID-“

Sleeping Beauty

Honestly this one is too graphic for me to explain in detail but let’s just say that the prince is even worse in this one than in the Disney version. Consent isn’t even a question for him he does not care. Also the cure in this version was kind of similar to snow white’s, in which a fragment of the spindle is stuck in Briar Rose’s finger and once it is dislodged she’s freed from the curse. Seriously though, wouldn’t recommend looking this one up to anyone who’s faint of heart. It’s seriously gross.

Malleus and Lilia don’t seem to surprised as you finish the tale. In fact, they don’t even bother to keep talking about it, and it’s totally not because the author of this doesn’t want to get into how absolutely disgusting it is that the 100 year old 16 year old has two kids that she definitely didn’t want, or how fucking gross the prince is to do what he did, it’s because they’re old as fuck and already kinda knew.

Lilia just goes back to setting your kitchen on fire while Malleus decides he’s going to read every other fairy story except this one because this one sucked and his grandma didn’t even turn into a dragon :/

Alice in Wonderland

Strictly speaking, the 1950’s animated film of Alice in Wonderland is not all that different from its inspiration. Most story beats are faithful to the original, with the exception of tweedle dee and tweedle dum, which actually appear in the sequel Alice through the looking glass. It appears that within Twisted Wonderland’s universe, while there is some misinterpretation of the Queen of Hearts herself, the information given in the film is well known based off of the comments given in the ‘chats’ with each character. It is unknown whether the Tim burton films have any bearing on twisted wonderland’s history, though based off of Riddle’s design and character it appears it may have been a source of inspiration at the least. All of this is to say that none of this particular story would be much of a surprise to any of the characters, as for them it’s very grounded in reality. This isn’t to say there wouldn’t be a surprise, though….

Riddle had been quietly sitting on the couch reading a book for about an hour now. It seemed as though he was nearing the end, and he looked both confused and enraptured by it.

“What’s that?” Yuu asked.

Riddle looked up, and with a carefully crafted blank face he held up the book so they could read the cover.

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

“Ah,” Yuu said nervously, “Good read?”

Riddle tilted his head, “You never told me there were stories of twisted wonderland in your world.”

“That’s cause it’s not twisted wonderland.” Yuu defended, “That’s just regular wonderland.”

“The difference being?” Riddle asked, tone taking on a biting edge.

“It isn’t twisted?” They tried, shrugging, “I didn’t think it would interest you, honestly. It’s a lot of the same stuff as history class.”

Trey took this EXACT moment to walk into the room. He took one look at Riddle’s twitching eyebrow and realized that, oh shit, time to intervene. “What’s going on here?” He asked tentatively.

“This- ah…” Riddle took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself, “This world has stories of Wonderland. Yuu neglected to mention this, in my opinion, rather imperative information.”

Yuu shrugged, “It’s just a children’s story. What could be so important?”

“Perhaps the fact that someone travels to and from Wonderland?” Riddle bit back, “Or perhaps that if your world has information on ours, then it isn’t fiction?”

Yuu blanched for a moment before calming themself. “Riddle,” they began, frowning, “I’m sorry. I didn’t think of that. But I have a very…different look on it.”

Riddle raised an eyebrow, urging Yuu to continue. Trey in the midst of this sat down beside Riddle, taking the book from him.

“This was written by someone named Charles Dodgeson, also known as Lewis Carroll. He wrote this for a trio of girls he used to tutor and babysit.” Yuu began, sitting down on the coffee table in front of Riddle and Trey. “He would often take them on canoe rides and tell them stories, making it up as he went along. He favored one particular girl, named Alice Liddell, and favored to write the story about her.”

Riddle looked unimpressed and confused at the same time, “But-“

“Riddle.” Trey said softly, “Let them continue.”

“Dodgeson was eventually fired by the Liddell family due to what was described as a ‘family affair’, the nature of which was never known. After that, for a bit of money he printed the story and sold it, then made wrote a sequel called ‘through the looking glass’.”

Riddle and Trey sat in silence before Riddle piped up, “Through the Looking Glass?”

“Mhmm.” Yuu said, “Alice returns to wonderland after walking through an enchanted looking glass. The rest of the adventure is similar to the first, changing from moment to moment.”

Riddle stared, fists curled in a ball and shaking. “So there’s a way home?”

Yuu looked surprised, “N-no, Riddle, it’s just a stor-“

“IT’S NOT JUST A STORY!” He cried, “It has to be real, you see that don’t you? You got to our world through a mirror, we got stuck here through one too. So there’s got to be another way back! Alice- Alice is real. She had to have gone….” He began to settle down, eyes filling with unshod tears.

Trey looked between Yuu and Riddle, “He’s right. It…would make sense. And…that’s a pen name, isn’t it? How do we know Alice didn’t write that?”

Yuu looked lost, staring down at the sobbing Riddle, who was murmuring various incoherent thoughts all in a long string.

“I’m so, so sorry…” Yuu said quietly, “We…I didn’t….I’m sorry. We can look, okay? I’ll do some research. We’ll get you home…”

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strawberriesinbloom · 17 days

Text

Late Night Movie Distractions

Zayne/Gender-Neutral Reader

Summary: You and Zayne watch a movie together, but you are far too easily distracted.

Word Count: 1,102

A/N: May or may not be based on a piece of Zayne's dialogue during his home screen interactions...that I haven't been able to get again. 😭 It lowkey makes me think I made it up lmao

This is a tickle fic btw!

~🍓~

The movie blared on the television in front of him, but Zayne paid it no mind. Rather, his focus remained entirely on you, who sat cuddled up next to him on the sofa. Your wide-eyed look and small gasps of surprise at every major plot point were far more interesting than what any movie could provide.

You glanced over at him. If his blatant staring took you aback, you didn’t show it. You grinned and shook the empty bowl in your lap. “More popcorn?” you whispered.

Zayne chuckled and shook his head. “No, thank you.”

He was about to offer to get you some more popcorn when you placed the bowl on the coffee table. He wondered if you only offered because you thought he wanted some. Did you think that was why he was staring? You were such a silly person.

The main character whispered something to the love interest, and your attention immediately pivoted back to the movie. You placed your hand on Zayne’s thigh and squeezed it in anticipation.

A familiar—yet almost forgotten—feeling jolted up his leg. Zayne twitched, trying to hide his reaction with a small cough. He leaned back against the sofa and crossed his arms in feigned nonchalance.

You grabbed the remote and paused the movie. “Zayne,” you said in an unnervingly sing-songy tone, “are you ticklish?” You placed the remote to the side before cracking your knuckles. Could you be any more obvious?

He cocked his head to the side, ignoring the way his ears burned. “Ticklish? Why would I be ticklish?” He found solace in the fact that you probably couldn’t see his face redden in the dark.

“What kind of question is that?” you asked.

Zayne barely had any time to react before you jabbed him in the side. He twisted to the side and you managed to get another jab in before he was able to grab your wrist. Zayne wanted to revel in this small victory, but that look on your face told him you let him do that.

“Stop,” Zayne said. He didn’t want to say he was pleading, per se, but he didn’t particularly feel like being humiliated today.

You faked a pout. “But, I want to hear you laugh. You’re so serious all the time.” Using your other hand, you dug your fingers into the soft part of his stomach. “You never smile.”

Zayne jerked to the side as he desperately tried to tear your hand off of him. “Is that what you think of me?” he managed to gasp out. He furrowed his eyebrows. He smiled…a bit. Mostly when he was with you.

“Yep.”

He wanted to ask you another question, but something fluttered against his armpits, distracting him. Zayne yanked his arms down and sputtered something incoherent. “Wahahait!” He choked out a laugh.

Seemingly proud about finding his sweet spot so quickly, you let out a sound of victory. “Never let your guard down.”

“Ahaha! Stahahap! Don’t you dahare! Hahaha…!” Zayne wiggled out of your grip and rolled off the sofa.

You laughed and simply moved to follow him. You sat on his stomach, effectively pinning him down in place. Zayne’s legs writhed and kicked out from underneath you, but you stayed steady. He could only think about how vicious you were as you lingered in the same spot, spidering your fingers inside his armpits.

“You have such a nice laugh,” you said, “It’s cute.”

In a desperate attempt to get you to stop torturing him, Zayne’s hands clasped onto your sides, just like he would do when you two were kids. He wiggled his fingers, but, interestingly enough, you barely reacted. Instead, you simply pried his hands off of you and pinned them underneath your knees.

Now, with nothing getting in your way, you drilled your thumbs into Zayne’s underarms. He tossed his head back and cackled. “Hehe…hahah! Stop it! Plehehehease!”

“Begging already? Come on, Zayne. You’re stronger than this.” Your fingers trailed lower until they were fluttering over his ribs.

This spot was bad, but thankfully not as bad as his underarms. Zayne bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from laughing, but you were quick to break him. “Mmmhmhmhehehe!” Tears were beginning to cling to his eyelashes, much to his horror. Your prideful grin forced him to squeeze his eyes shut in embarrassment.

Zayne didn’t recall ever being this sensitive, not even when he was a child. He could tell you were thinking the exact same thing. This was humiliating, but you were greedy. He knew you weren’t going to stop until you were satisfied.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you laugh this much,” you said with a tinge of wonder. “I could get used to this.” You returned to targeting Zayne’s armpits, forcing him to squeal. You gasped and excitedly prodded the spot the same exact way. To his despair, he squealed, again.

“Ehehehe! If you—haha—don’t stop, I’ll—!”

“You’ll what? Use your Evol against me?”

No. No, he would never do that, no matter how desperate he was. “I’ll…! Ahaha!” Zayne was laughing too hard to even get more than a few words in edgewise.

You laughed, but it wasn’t as nefarious this time. In fact, you seemed slightly endeared, which might have been worse, honestly. However, to his relief, you stopped and got off of him. Zayne stayed on the ground for a few seconds to catch his breath before opening his eyes. You were sitting next to him with your head leaning against the sofa.

Zayne sighed, noting the sweat that clung to the back of his shirt. “You’re quite mischievous,” he said, still slightly breathless.

“I wasn’t kidding when I said your laugh was cute,” you hummed.

He sat up and brushed his bangs out of his face. “I didn’t think you were.” He paused for a moment before softly speaking. “I think I smile often.” He was still thinking about your comment earlier. Zayne wasn’t the type to get self-conscious, but he cared about what you thought.

“Really?” you said, grinning, “I’ve never noticed.”

“Maybe it’s because you’re not particularly observant.”

“Hey!”

Zayne shook his head, reaching over to brush a stray piece of lint off of your shoulder. “Would you like to finish the movie?”

You blinked slightly and glanced over at the television screen, where the main characters were still staring lovingly into each other’s eyes. “I completely forgot about the movie,” you admitted before scratching your cheek. “I think we can finish it tomorrow, though.”

Zayne smirked. “Did you have another activity in mind?”

“Maybe,” you said, moving to pinch his cheek.

#love and deepspace tickling #ticklish!zayne #tickler!reader

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disgruntledexplainer · 4 months

Text

The Squadron Supreme, or How Man of Action Studios showed how stupid power scaling contests really are

Man of Action Studios, for all their flaws, have a remarkable understanding of the superhero genre and what makes heroes compelling. I could go on and on about their original shows like Ben 10 and Generator Rex, on how they always make sure that their heroes prioritize the safety of civilians over their mission or their own safety, how they use the posture, movements, and behavior of the heroes as a way to show how the hero views himself and his job, and other such things. Indeed, I already have done both of those in brief. But I think one of the best examples of their grasp on the genre actually comes from the Avengers Assemble cartoon, which they worked on during seasons 1 and 2 (the absence in season 3 onwards is actually kind of noticeable in the sudden drop in quality).

In season 2, Avengers Assemble does something that by all accounts shouldn't work, something that under normal circumstances I would ABSOLUTELY HATE. they had an Avengers versus Justice League plot arc for a third of the season. Personally, I hate power-scaling. "Oh this guy can beat that guy! Let's smash our action figures together and see which one breaks!" But despite this, they managed to make it work. How?

Obviously the show couldn't bring in the real justice league for legal reasons, so instead they made obvious parallels. Hyperion, a twisted version of Superman, had already been introduced in season 1. Nighthawk was their version of Batman, Zarda was their version of Wonder Woman, Speed Demon was their version of The Flash (clearly taking inspiration from the Barry Alan iteration), and Nuke was their version of Captain Atom. Interestingly, Professor Prism seems to be a hybrid of Green Lantern and Martian Manhunter in origin and powers respectively.

HOWEVER

these characters are VERY MUCH NOT their actual justice league counterparts. Nor are they "mirror images" of them with opposite traits. But they are those characters with all of their heroic traits carefully, surgically removed.

The Squadron Supreme, as they call themselves, are the justice league without justice, heroes without heroics. They disdain the rule of law, instead favoring the rule of terror, taking justice into their own hands, beating the living daylights out of people who cross them. Hyperion, unlike superman, has no restraint. Speed Demon revels in tormenting his opponents. Nuke uses his powers at will despite knowing the danger they pose to everyone around him. Zarda kulls the weak to demonstrate her power. Professor Prism cowers behind the others, and bends to their will with little resistance despite ultimately being a good person. And nighthawk.

Nighthawk is the most telling of the bunch. He is the "batman could beat anyone given enough prep time" version of batman. He is the "actually batman should be totally fine killing people" version of batman. He is the "batman works alone and beats up goons" version of batman. He is the juvenile version of batman as thought of by power-scalers and, apparently, Hollywood executives. In other words, he is an ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE PERSON, and one of the most dangerous foes ever introduced in the series. He uses his friends as living weapons, deliberately endangers civilians to try to take out the heroes, and beats criminals within an inch of their life to send a message. Trying to fight his plans is like trying to hold back a tsunami with your hands; time consuming and futile.

They say that if you can't imagine your version of batman comforting a scared child, he's not batman, but punnisher in a funny mask. well nighthawk would fire a rocket at a child if it was part of his many unstoppable schemes. He's a monster.

You would expect, since the show is about the Avengers, that the Avengers would wipe the floor with the Squadron. But nope. All other things being equal, the Squadron ABSOLUTELY WIPES THE FLOOD WITH THE AVENGERS. Iron Man gets into a fight with Nighthawk, only for nighthawk to completely dismantle his armor in seconds, and the rest of the Avengers can barely take down Hyperion if they all gang up on him, let alone the other members of the squadron. They are just too powerful; it is essentially an admission that in a straight fight between the two, the Justice League would win.

But it is also a statement that in order for the fight to occur at all, the Justice League would have to cease to actually be the justice league. they would have to be reduced to their powers and strategies, with all that is good about them thrown in the trash.

Ultimately, what allows the avengers to win in the end is this exact fact: that the Squadron AREN'T actually the Justice League. The members of the Justice League care about each other, and have each-others back. They would never willingly sacrifice each-other for the sake of a plan, even if that plan assured victory. But the Squadron ABSOLUTELY would. Ultimately they are able to isolate them, or convince Nighthawk to sacrifice them one-by-one for his schemes until they finally have an opening to finish things, and Iron Man manages to defeat Nighthawk not through fighting or even guile, but through making an act of self-sacrifice that Nighthawk couldn't rap his head around.

The Squadron Supreme shows what traits actually make up the Justice League and make them who they are by contrast; showing us what the characters would be like without those traits. Without compassion, restraint, empathy, friendship, the Justice League simply isn't itself.

To think this insight came from an Avengers cartoon instead of a DC property.

Anyways, that is why I think Man of Action Studios deserves a bit more credit for their writing.

#ben 10 #generator rex #avengers #avengers assemble #justice league #squadron supreme #man of action #superheroes

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himehikoshrine · 8 months

Text

Mary Jane and Frankenstein

In honor of Spooky Month and the imminent arrival of Mary Jane Day, I have done the scariest thing imaginable, returned to tumblr dot com to write a meta/analysis post.

[image description: images side by side of the top of the Mary Jane poster, showing Mary looking down sewing Jacob, next to the 1831 edition front panel illustration of Frankenstein, showing Victor looking down on his creature in horror]

This is a mostly informal attempt to collect my thoughts on the fact that Neji’s little spooktacular, in addition to being a very pointed exploration, as all of his plays are, of art and theater, the school, himself and his classmates (without their permission, the menace) and just, a lot of fun, is perhaps one of the best piece of Frankenstein related media I have EVER seen in relation to the original novel.

This is pulling a lot of things from the Stage Script rather than the in game version, which summarizes a lot of the things I'm mentioning specifically. You can find the full Stage Script in the game menu, or

[ here ]

because I love this play so much that I needed a searchable version.

Caveat Emptor here is that it’s been a long time since I’ve read the novel in its entirety. If this game gets me to read it again, I may have to revamp things. But again, largely informal. But very long, somehow.

Oooops.

If you're curious about anything in here and want to expand on it more, or hear my thoughts on it, please feel free to reblog, send an ask, or message. Or ask me elsewhere if we're already connected there. There's a lot I glossed over, especially at the end of this. I have a lot to say, and if we're back to writing metas on tumblr dot com the chances of stopping at one are slim.

Mary as Frankenstein, Mary as Mother

Mary’s name is acting as several allusions at once. I mean, there are at least 3 Mary’s in the bible one could point to - Mary, Mother of Jesus is absolutely at play. But Lazarus’s sister is also a Mary. And while technically Mary Magdalene is often misrepresented and amalgamated with other characters in retellings, the idea of “purifying” her has canon precedent - having had seven demons driven out of her.

Of course, Neji’s twisting all of it, in his Neji way.

(Interestingly enough, these are the Three Marys of the Quem Quaeritis - widely considered a point of "rebirth" of theatre in Europe during the middle ages.)

But Mary is also the name of Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, author of Frankenstein. And this, this is a Frankenstein story. It is, in fact, a beautiful inversion of so much about the book that gets left out in most far more serious attempts at a Frankenstein story.

The original book is about motherhood and its inversion. Much could be said about when during her life she wrote it, or her own mother’s death shortly after she was born, or any number of things that have been hashed and rehashed a thousand times from AP English to the ivoriest of towers. But, fan of Death of the Author that I am, I posit you don’t need any of that to see in the text.

Victor creates a person with science, rather than by ‘nature’. It is an unnatural birth. And Victor is just about the shittiest possible parent. The Creature spends a good deal of time explaining to him, when they meet up again, that Victor is his father, and that he was literally abandoned as a newborn, and maybe that was kind of the worst possible thing he could have done. It’s not a mantle Victor has any desire to take up, the role of a parent. He wanted to create life, but he didn’t want to be a parent. But that’s what it means to create life.

By gender swapping the role, you’re already inverting the inversion - but Mary’s creation is no more “natural” than Victors. But it is different. Neji, ever witch-coded himself, has Mary put one of her own hairs into every doll. It’s returning the shared body to the act of bringing these creations into being.

But even without that. Mary considers herself a mother. She considers herself a mother despite having no memory of one herself - Mary knows lots of things she shouldn’t, and doesn’t know many things she should. But she calls herself a mother. Even before any of the dolls move, she is their mother. A motherhood she wants to desperately share with others. She considers the act of selling a doll a kind of ‘adoption’. These are her children. And they know it. It’s stitched into every stitch in their doll bodies. They know Mary is their mother. And they know she loves them.

[image description: screenshot of Mary in her workshop. The text shows Mary's line saying "I'm back, dear dolls. Mommy's home."]

The Creature comes to think of Victor as a father - an absentee one at that, and craves that love, a love he is never shown. Mary averts this spectacularly. She creates out of love.

Names

Mary takes great care in naming Jacob, and ends up doing so, though she doesn’t say it, after a biblical pun (Jacob, in the bible, is explicitly named such as a pun on the word “Heel”). But names are important to Mary, and she is sure to give one to Jacob as soon as he’s fully formed, even before she sees him wake up. Victor very particularly does not name his creature. Instead, he tends to throw around insults, many of which are demonic or satanic. When they finally meet again, the Creature says to him “I should have been thy Adam.” Mary averts this mistake, among so many others, spectacularly. Being called by her name is important to her, and she extends that offer to Jacob even before he’s fully “born.” Like a good mother.

[image description: a screenshot showing Fumi and Kai dressed as Mary and Jacob, as seen from the stage with the audience in the background. Kai is saying Jacob's line "I did, Mary. You are Mary Jane. My mother."]

Not only does she give him a nice biblical pun of a first name, she shares her last name with him, again before he’s even more than a doll. That’s her boy, that’s her best friend. That’s her family.

The song here, which is only sung and dance AFTER Mary has given him a name is called "A Friend Without A Name" Almost as if specifically calling attention to this fact. Mary is as much the friend without a name as Jacob, if not more. She is the one that has never heard another voice say her name, where as Jacob is called his before he's even awakened by the Island's magic and Mary's love.

[image description: the screen from just before A Friend Without A Name showing Mary and Jacob's CG of Mary Stitching Jacob.]

Mary as a Good Mother

Some of the weirder moments in the play actually make a lot more sense when you look at them through this light. Jacob randomly saying he hates Mary in a fit of jealousy? It’s because he’s a child. He’s a baby. That’s a baby boy. Mary, herself quite childish, forgetting so much of what’s important, as the Island is known for, reacts incorrectly, but understandably. This is her first friend - and far more of one than the others she thinks she’s made, in terms of mutual respect, compassion, and small acts of kindness. But this level of connection and emotional reciprocation is still new to her. She’s hurt. She runs.

And The Order of Shadow’s duo is quick to tell her that that’s just the nature of ghosts, telling themselves a little joke about how they have been lying to her from the start, and fully intend to stab her in the back, far more than any ghost. Victor’s instinct is to consider his creature a monster, a fiend, a demon. Mary is told by characters positioned as far more knowledgeable about the world than her that he must be exactly that.

And how does Mary react? She refuses to believe it. Even hurt as she was, even with someone who just said this is their entire expertise telling her it’s in his nature to be cruel, Mary refuses to accept it. She still loves him. She makes the right choice. That’s her best friend. That’s her family. That’s a (un)life she brought into this world, and she stands by him. No matter what. She would risk her life to rescue him. She will fight for him.

This is why that scene has to be there. Because she has to be given that temptation, that trial. And she passes spectacularly in a way Victor will not, to the end.

It’s also a thematic explanation for the garbage scene, which is probably there as much to be silly as anything. I mean, it’s also there to show many other things — Mary’s eccentricity is ingenious in its own quirky way — the islanders who hated her, who she didn’t understand, give her the tools to save Jacob and the others — Mary not even considering the same level of violence — it being a moment of empathy between Mary and the islanders who never showed her even a shred of it back — she understands that they couldn’t tell which food was rotten. She sees things from their point of view. And many more besides.

But, from the point of view of Mary as a Mother, Mary succeeding brilliantly where Victor failed… Mary is literally willing to coat herself in filth to rescue Jacob. Parenthood is messy. It involves a lot of gross things. Even Victor's, sanitized of the normal processes and cloaked in science, was made of corpse parts. But the play actually brings back a part of parenthood that Mary had been able to avoid thus far - the mess. Mary, once again, doesn’t hesitate. For Jacob? She’ll do anything.

Jacob is shown love and kindness, and he responds with the same. He has the same unnatural strength as Victor’s creature, but he’s only ever shown using it to rescue himself and others. When Mary asks for a handshake, he replies that he can’t, because such would be an invitation for a duel. And that they should hug, instead. Mary didn’t even know what that was. Far from disgusted by the lack of warmth she feels from his skin, she looks beyond that, to the emotional warmth and connection.

Frankenstein’s creature, famously, lashes out in violence. While Victor views this as his responsibility only in so far as he brought a demon into the world, he doesn’t understand, even when the Creature eloquently explains it, that the Creature was a being who had only known cruelty.

Jacob knows love. He knows kindness. He knows sadness and loneliness and pain. And refuses to engage in any form of touch that could even be considered violence. They hug.

Which is not to say Mary’s creatures can’t kill. But they do only to protect their mother, and only after Mary has risked everything to protect Jacob. They are Mary’s children, not Victor’s. Even their violence is an act of love. And in another inversion - they are the ones telling Mary to run. Something she does not want to do. She doesn't want to leave them behind. After all, they are her children. She departs from them only at Jacob's literal tug away, and with an apology and a thanks.

[Image description: screenshot of Fumi, dressed as Mary Jane, shown from stage view, with the audience behind, while a Doll's lines "Protect Mommy, let mommy run away." are shown below.]

Boats and Framing

But the parallels are not only in the most famous part of the novel - consider this - Frankenstein, the novel, is written as a series of nesting framing narratives. The bookend narrative, the one we open and close on, is a boat. Most Frankenstein adaptations cut the boat trip frame, but Mary Jane very specifically opens and closes on a boat at sea, and its ending is EXACTLY the reverse of Frankenstein’s. If for some reason you’re this far in and don’t want more spoilers for a 200 year old book, now’s the time to click away, I guess.

The boat is on a course to the Arctic. Victor is on board, telling his story, because his creature has fled there, away from humanity. Victor intends to pursue him endlessly, to kill him, fully aware that he is almost certainly going to die, frozen and alone, in the process. We don’t get to see this happen - the story ends merely with the certainty that this is what is coming. Victor, on a boat, intending to go to the ends of the earth alone to kill the Creature he brought into the world, treating it like some burden and punishment.

[image description: a screenshot from Mary Jane, with the CG of Mary and the Ghosts on the ship, with the summary text overlayed on it reading "Friends together, fun forever."]

How does Mary Jane end? With Mary, and Jacob, and a cast of playful characters — her friends — sailing off for the ends of the world, together, in pursuit of life and happiness - even in death.

Ghost Party ends the play because its a triumph. Neji throwing out Horace’s Ode to Cleopatra in there because he can’t not do silly things like that — but Frankenstein famously contains many references to classics — many made by the Creature himself, who was forced to educate himself via books, lacking a parent to help him.

Mary Jane takes a section of sheer joy out of a poem of complex mixed emotions, and says them repeatedly. This is a party. This is a triumph. Mary leaves on a boat for the ends of the world a success, a good mother, a friend. And a human.

Humanity, Connection, Isolation

The play deconstructs so wonderfully this question of humanity. Mary doesn’t find any joy in it, despite barely understanding it herself - until she is able to use it to help others. The first time in her life she’s been glad to be human - something she only really understands as “needing to eat food” - is when it gives her the ability to save her ghost friends. If that’s what humanity is, the ability to care for others, the ghosts of the chapel, the play is telling us, are far more human.

One of my favorite exchanges in the play is after Charles and Figaro explain to Mary that the corpse parts used to make Jacob were their friends. Mary is not malicious in the least. She has no concept of this act as sacrilege or desecration. She is genuinely childishly innocent in most of what she does. And she can’t understand it.

Mary says “If you can love unmoving corpses so much… How can you not feel for living ghosts...?"

[image description: Mary in front of the burning town. She's saying "How can you not feel for living ghosts...?"]

Charles responds that she must be completely off her rocker. But she’s correct. Mary sees life in front of her, even undead life, and wants to protect it. Even the Islanders, who only ever treated her with distain, who only ever made her miserable — she doesn’t want them to die, even knowing they are already dead.

Outside of Mary, her oddball eccentric self, in this play, the more human someone is, the crueler they are. Figaro and Charles are only ever here to mess with her before dragging her off to be killed. They have no willingness to even try to understand anything outside their world view. The Islanders, who think themselves human, revile Mary, and make up terrible rumors about her.

Both of these groups do so, in part, for similar reasons. Because to have empathy would force a realization on them they cannot bear. The last thing Figaro realizes, before he’s dragged into the most poetic of justices, is that the dolls have SOULS. They are ALIVE. It’s a moment of anger and madness, but it’s a last minute realization that he’s been wrong now that it’s too late. Of course it’s not a revelation he’ll remember. You tend to forget what’s important on Kakuriyo Island.

If Mary averts all of Victor’s mistakes, Charles and Figaro make many of them. Seeing the Creature as a collection of corpses, as demonic, as an abomination against God. Reacting only in anger, in cruelty, in violence. Chasing something they view, wrongly, as an abomination to the ends of the earth, until it kills them. Mary has Victor’s role, but Victor’s actions and outlook are given to the antagonists.

It’s fascinating to me, then, that there are two of them. In the version of the play that gets performed, they’re twins - doubles. Two halves of one whole, who egg each other along in their cruelty. But they also exist to show that even these two are capable of empathy and connection. They do in fact understand the thing they tease Mary with. They have the ability and understanding to extend that to Ghosts, or to Mary. They simply refuse to. Figaro really does love his brother - his grief at his death is genuine. It’s a clever way to show that.

In the book, Victor is extremely isolated, by his own choice. He withdraws from everyone in order to work on his creature, and after he runs from it, he keeps to himself just as much, now blaming the idea that he can tell no one what he’s done. Even when he’s surrounded by family, he is utterly alone. By choice. The Creature eventually lashes out and kills the woman Victor intended to marry. In Victor’s mind, he cares about this girl, but it is not in his actions. Like much else, she exists more as a creation of Victors mind than something in the world for him to interact with and care about. Until she dies. Then he’s furious. And decides to spend the rest of his life chasing down the Creature to kill him for it.

This contradiction in Victor has always read as intentional to me. The book is calling out his hypocrisy here. He doesn’t actually desire connection - the connection his Creature eloquently explains his longing for. But if it is denied him, he acts like he’s been affronted, painted with a shallow layer of sanctimoniousness or justice. Murder is bad, of course, and the Creature shouldn’t have killed an innocent young woman to get at Victor, of course. But the discrepancy between the way Victor reacts to her in death and the way he does when she’s alive is intentional.

Victor has every chance for human connection. Time and time and time again he’s given that chance and refuses it. Even to the very end, on that boat. He could stay with the crew. Sail back home. Let it go. The Creature has run away from humanity which it has come to despise as much as its absentee father disdained it. There is no need to keep chasing. But Victor cannot let it go.

The Creature longs for connection and is denied it. Victor disdains and refuses it, even when it’s available to him.

Mary as The Creature

Contrast this with Mary — It is Mary, rather than Jacob, that is in the Creature’s situation here. Mary is constantly chasing connection. Constantly trying to find something to reflect humanity (compassion, life, emotions — rather than the matter of blood and flesh that Figaro and Charles always talk about it as) back at her. And she can’t get it. She, like the Creature, hides in the bushes and watches it from afar. She, like the Creature, chases after it only for people to run away, to treat her with cruelty. Mary is Frankenstein, but she is also a reflection of the Creature. She is both in one, in this sense.

[image description: screenshot of summary text over the church and figures of the church ghosts. it reads "The friendless Mary dreamily watched the ghosts as they sang a happy song.]

Her costume specifically makes her look nearly as much the doll as the ones she makes - in the world of the story, because she's sewing both - but thematically, it ties her to them not only as their mother, but as a reflection of the Creature, herself.

Like the Creature, Mary is an odd mix of naivety and childishness, with startling gaps in her knowledge, and extreme skill and adult abilities. She knows what she knows well. Like the Creature, Mary has no memory of kindness, of family, of parents. She has only ever seen it in the way the Islanders interact with each other. She is the Creature here - raising herself, learning of the world through watching it, being reviled for every attempt she makes to reach out.

One thing the Creature explains to Victor is that he didn’t even understand, at the time, why he was being treated this way. He had no awareness of his own nature and what he looked like in the eyes of others. Only that they ran in fear and chased him away, and reacted with violence.

Mary Jane inverts this. Mary is human, but the humans around her are something she cannot understand. Like the Creature, Mary doesn’t understand why people react this way. The book expects you to come to the same conclusion as the play - the fault lies not with the Creature anymore more than it does with Mary, at this point. It is those around him, those around her, that are at fault, that are a thing neither can understand. Human’s are cruel. Ghosts who think they’re humans are cruel. It is a disconnect between themselves and the world around them they don’t understand, and desperately try to bridge over and over.

Even Mary, as quirky and childlike as she is, is on the verge of giving up, of being consumed by the Lonely Darkness. We don't know what her fate would have been if the Order of Shadows had not come. Victor's Creature, far more morose than Mary, gives up on connection, as well. He is denied the most basic of needs, and eventually, he learns the violence and hatred being directed at him, and, newborn that he is, lashes out.

But, ultimately, companionship and connection are the Creature’s goals, and it is that that he requests of Victor, who refuses to provide it himself. Make for me a mate. Mary is the Creature, and she is Frankenstein. She makes a friend for herself. Her motivation in creating Jacob is not science, it is not in defiance of death or God — very pointedly — it is out of loneliness - the same motivation that the Creature gives for his desire that Victor make him another like him. And when Mary does so, she’s a good mother, and a good friend.

Religion

Frankenstein’s full title is Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus - it is about forming people, but it is also about stealing fire from the Gods. The question of if creating life out of death the way Victor does is an affront to God is something that Victor himself thinks about, but the book is much more interested in exploring it as the way characters view it. Victor punishes himself, it is not the Divine that punishes him. The Divine acts not as a force, but as an idea. One that both Victor and the Creature end up grappling with and trying to find their place within.

So that Mary herself seemingly has no concept of it, is fascinating. She goes to watch a chapel every night, but I don’t know she knows what a chapel even is. She mentions God once herself, saying that the smell of the garbage would be enough to affect even God, but she also talks to the Moon as a companion and a friend. Her worldview is uniquely hers, in relation to all things. As I said, the idea that making the dolls the way she does, or using corpse parts to do it might be sacrilege does not even occur to her.

Rather than go the route of the novel, Mary Jane twists this around too. In the world of Mary Jane, religious objects hold not only the power of an idea but an actual force. And it is a force that is completely, within the world of the show, amoral and nonsensical. The blessed weapons and fire the Order of the Shadows use are “holy” as a property, but that gives it no moral weight within the world of the play. And the play is messing with it the whole time. Holy wood or water can destroy a ghost, but they live in a church. Something that Charles and Figaro comment on, but cannot interrogate in terms of what it means for their conviction. But they’re split on how to proceed - the fact that ghosts can live in it doesn’t shake their faith, though. Sister Ghost is there largely for this joke. A nun who is constantly evoking the divine, who would be killed by a consecrated item.

[image description: the summary text over the chapel backdrop with the text of "the chapel where Jacob and the others were left behind was being filled with the scent of holy water.]

If I could add something to Mary Jane, I would have loved for Mary or Jacob to ask Sister Ghost what “God” means (this is a conversation that happens in bonus material for Tokyo Ghoul once, actually). I would have loved to have that brought up more explicitly. But it’s also very funny that it never is.

The first definitions for a God we get are them being applied to Mary herself, with plenty of ambiguity on if the Order’s faith itself has a mother figure at its center or not. And either way it’s a fascinating play on the idea, and the themes of the novel.

Closing Thoughts, Other Connections and Ideas "Beyond the Scope of this Essay"

Anyway, all of this while playing around with everything else going on in this play, Neji’s totally, without permission, commentary on Fumi, on Tsuki’s legacy (please read the stage script, somehow the game thought it was a good idea to cut that whole specific reference even when making Kisa pick between an “erase Tsuki” option) and on Kai. On himself as an artist. ("I am the one who is strange. With my changing moods, with my hobbies. That is why everyone thinks I'm strange and avoids me.”). As with several other plays, a commentary on authority, and on creation, and on isolation and friendship and connection.

And, of course, what I’ve been holding back this whole little essay is that Mary Jane is, thematically, at its core, playing off the exact same situation as I Am Death. Like — both of these plays center around a woman pouring her emotions into an undead creature. I see you Neji. You can’t hide from me. Reading I Am Death as a Frankenstein Story remixed into an old Japanese mytho-history is a LOT of fun to do, but is, as the academics say, beyond the scope of this essay.

(and, I Am Death itself is about Neji and Chui, and the twisted, messy love-hate revenge drama they are acting out across all the routes in the game. Neji writes the plays that introduce Chui to the world. Then he runs. And spends the whole game trying to beat him (affectionate.). “Make me another like me” you say…

Literally the only thing I’ve come up with to make the “bad end” CG more compelling to me, is that this is what it’s riffing on. I like my I Am Death costumes way weirder.)

Mary Jane is a Frankenstein Story, I Am Death is a Frankenstein Story, Jack Jeanne is a Frankenstein Story. The other, other thing I’m leaving out here is that the Order of the Shadows are OBVIOUSLY pulled from Tokyo Grand Guignol, aesthetically. And the most famous TGG play is Litchi Hikari Club, which is, say it with me, a Frankenstein Story. Also one that takes the themes of the novel (gender, love and sexuality, childhood, genius, violence, blind pursuit to the point of madness, god complexes) harder than most, but runs with it in nearly the exact opposite direction. But again, very much beyond the scope of this essay.

Also also also leaving out the fact that Tokyo Ghoul is... kind of ... not not a Frankenstein story. It certainly riffs on the motif quite a bit. Even if you've never read it, you've seen the mask design (an in universe riff on the joke.).

Even just one dimension of this play, and look how many words you've made me write Neji-senpai.

[image description: image from the bottom of the Mary Jane poster, with the cast list, showing the chapel ghosts with a focus on Ushinoko, Neji's character, looking towards the 'camera'.] Some little Halloween Spooktacular you’ve got there. Bravo.

#jack jeanne meta #jack jeanne #Mary Jane #frankenstein #lit crit #doing lit crit of stories within stories - what a trip #meta

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talonflamee · 2 years

Text

POV: Volo character analysis but you’re only 6 hours into PLA

making good progress in pokemon legends!!! just defeated kleavor (what the HELL is kleavor btw, i’ve never seen that thing before in my life) and i’m having SO much more fun with it than before! rly glad about that cuz it was just sitting & collecting metaphorical dust lmao. i still have my qualms, but i definitely see the appeal now!

i’d like to talk a little about Volo. well, as much as i can from my current point in the game.

full disclaimer, i haven’t even gotten close to beating PLA and i won’t for probably another 40 hours, but i do know what ultimately happens with Volo. my thoughts here could honestly be totally incomprehensible or may change as i continue playing. but i just think he’s neat :)

so i don’t think Volo is like…... evil? don’t get me wrong, he absolutely fucked up and there are no excuses for what he does. but i see a lot of people in the fandom make him out to be this irredeemable horrible awful murderous twisted cycle path and i just. don’t agree with that.

i think people prioritize vilifying him solely to further angst with a certain pair of twins rather than focusing on the nuance that’s embedded into his character. i don’t want to skrunkli-fy him either, but i think it’s important to recognize that he’s kinda just Some Guy. he’s not a cult-leader, he’s not a mob boss, he doesn’t have people who follow or look up to him much (as far as i know); he’s just some dude who works in retail, and he has realistic, human flaws that result in self-destructive behavior that ultimately harms everyone around him. he strikes me as someone with a boatload of (likely religious) trauma and a desperate, insatiable desire to comprehend some kind of higher being. i hope to expand on this particular train of thought later

this brings me to one of my favorite narratives in pokemon. he has Three!!! pokemon that evolve through high friendship. compared to ghetsis, with a hydreigon that was forced to evolve before level 64, holds a life orb, and absolutely obliterates with frustration with the highest amount of damage possible—it absolutely hates ghetsis. but togekiss, lucario, and roserade can only be obtained when they adore their trainers, this cannot be forced.

and, interestingly, this is lucario’s pokedex entry in shield

Volo also has a genuine interest in archeology and history and he wants to share it with people! this guy can infodump like a champ, i really respect that !

so my opinion can certainly change, but these are a few reasons why i don’t think he’s irredeemable. i don’t like how complex characters are always reduced to all or nothing values in fandom spaces. there’s so much more to these characters than 100% evil or 100% good.

this is not helped by the fact that PLA just. doesn’t seem finished? which is completely understandable considering the amount of crunch these artists and writers had to deal with. but it’s still unfinished. most characters don’t have closure or even any development at all. i’m hoping on dlc at some point but. augh

soooo yea das it lol. i hope to write some actual characters studies and analyses for this guy the more i play!! this was just to get my thoughts down, i’ll probably revisit and add to it down the line!

#pokemon #talking #pokemon legends arceus #volo #character analysis #<— hopefully will be using that tag in the future 😳

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internetmisfitsworld · 8 months

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I know Call of Duty Mobile comics are not canon (at least to my knowledge), but it's nice to see some crumbs of Makarov contents. Most importantly, there's a hint of "Makarov being a girl dad" moments in the comic that had me screaming.

We get to see more of his personality, though some of it were a bit OOC to me. But most of the time, they got him right. More russian quips and all, something we don't see much back in MW2 and MW3.

His sassy bitchy side. We got glimpse of that back in MW2 and MW3 but in the comics? Deadass he's such a sassy little shit, that at some point I couldn't even be mad at him 😂 .

We also get to see him sort of, kind of, but not really, have this odd sometimes wholesome, mostly questionable, father-daughter vibe with Sophia Couteau. This bit was probably that caught me off guard the most, mostly because we know him as this cold heartless bastard that he is. It was mentioned that he took her in as his protege after her father died. She became part of his crew along with another character Wraith. Funny enough, Sophia even slightly defend Makarov against Dame (her mother) here.

"I know how much you long for big strong parental figure to make things right for you"

"Big Daddy Vladimir" (The way I cackled when I read this line agagahhaha we get it Dame ✋️✋️✋️Makarov is big and strong lmaooo she so real for that)

"As much my mother as Makarov is" (Confirmed. Makarov is mother 💅🏻)

Anyway, back on the topic.

Interestingly, Sophia's father, Edouard "Templar", once tried to kill Makarov. Sooo, you can see why I label Sophia and Makarov father daughter vibe as "questionable", since well... it's Makarov we're talking here. Trusting Makarov is a deathwish.

So, what was Makarov's intention of taking Sophia, whose father tried to kill him, under his care?

Personally, I believe there's a thin line between genuine care and using her for his own cause. I do believe he initially took her in to use her for his personal agenda. But overtime, he grew to care for her a little bit. Maybe he sees himself in her, reminding him back in his days when Zakhaev took him in (different circumstances but still there's similarities). But of course, I don't believe his growing care for her diminished any thought of using her as a pawn for him to use. But damn it he did had me thinking that he genuinely, truly cared for her.

Another thought I had is that, he might took her in because he sees it as some kind of twisted way to get back at Edouard? Maybe he thought; "You tried to kill me? Imma steal yo kid and be a better dad than you then lmfaoo *runs away with adoption paper in his hand*"

But not really though. Considering at the time, Edouard was considered dead (turns out to be alive sometimes later though agaaag this comic really kills me because anyone can never be truly dead). So, him doing this in the name of "getting revenge" on Edouard, is pointless. Unless of course, he's always known Edouard is alive the whole time.

Yeah all in all, it was really a treat to see Makarov being nice and affectionate with someone. A treat and kinda astounding sight too. Especially since we know what he's like in the game agagaa. Like yeah we know who he is and what he is, we know if push comes to shove, he will probably betray Sophia in a heartbeat. But still, it's heartwarming to see their interaction.

Makarov Parenting 101: Gives manipulation tactics advice

Makarov Parenting 101: Be the first to cover your kid's back. Also, keep your kid's close.

Makarov Parenting 101: Teach your kid your language

(FYI Sophia is French. And yeah I know that it doesn't really mean anything considering that a) it's a pretty simple and common phrase so maybe she doesn't really know russian and only knows a couple of phrase or b) maybe she learned the language herself. But still, it's fun to consider that maybe she pick it up from Makarov. Bet she learned a few curse words as well 🤣 Mak disapproves at first but overtime he finds it amusing and snickers whenever she said it)

Makarov Parenting 101: Gives reassurance to your kid (even if you have to lie)

Yeah I'm on the fence on this one, because as much as I want to believe it, part of me have a feeling that he had that family killed. Also,

"I'm not a monster" The audacity of his ass to say this line lol 💀

Bonus:

It's a funny sight to see him helping someone up. Because we know what happened the last time he did that (rip allen you should've never take that hand). Also, he didn't have to help her up. She's more than capable to do that. Not just Wraith but Sophia too. But here he is giving his hand to them. Notice that Sophia was ahead of them, so I'm gonna assume Mak went up first then wait out to help Sophia up the roof then help Wraith. "He really said "I might be a mass murdering psychopathic terrorist but at least I'm a gentleman 👍"

Also another Makarov Parenting 101: Always help your kid up first in high altitude situation.

So yeah. In the comic, they seem to tone him down a little. Shows his light and sometimes dark, humorous side (a nice change though I'm not complaining). A little flirty too ("never darling" "Freya my dear").

"Never, darling" (SWOON GAGAHAHAGA)

#vladimir makarov #call of duty vladimir makarov #call of duty makarov #modern warfare makarov #mw makarov #cod makarov #call of duty sophia couteau #call of duty wraith #call of duty freya helvig #call of duty dame #call of duty cecilia perrin #call of duty edouard couteau #call of duty templar #call of duty mobile

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twistedminutia · 4 months

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Twst Talk: Hometown Events

This is more or less just me rambling about the hometown events and who might get one next (and who it might include.) This post will include spoilers for hometown have events that have not been announced on the EN server yet, so if that’s not something you want to see, stop reading now!

So far, we have gotten hometown events for Epel, Kalim and Jamil, Leona, and Deuce. These events have taken us to the Shaftlands, the Scalding Sands, the Sunset Savannah, and the Queendom of Roses. The only major continent we haven’t visited yet is the Sunshine Lands/Kingdom of Heroes (plus the Land of the Dawning, if you don’t count Sage Island as a part of that island already) and that seems to be the only continent we don’t have students from. These are also all lands that seem to be the most ‘accessible’ for lack of a better word. Briar Valley is the homeland of the fae, and it seems to generally be isolated, and the Coral Sea is, of course, underwater, necessitating the use of potions to go there.

Now, it’s possible that these aren’t going to be our next hometown events. In theory, we still could get events for characters like Vil or Cater, who live in the Shaftlands but not in Harveston, or Riddle and Trey, who live in the Queendom of Roses, but not Clock Town. Idia and Ortho are also wild cards in this, because we technically visited their hometown in Book 6 and it’s also supposed to be secret, so it’s not like they’re inviting friends over on the reg. Though I suppose this could also be handwaved if it happens post Book 6 by saying the students know about it already… but regardless, I think it’s likely TWST will cover all major areas of Twisted Wonderland before doubling back.

So if either the Coral Sea or Briar Valley are on the roster next, which one is first? Well, my money is for the Coral Sea. If the event comes out prior to the conclusion of Book 7, then it makes sense for it to steer clear of Briar Valley for potential spoiler reasons, or for the other reason I think they’ll hold off on the BV hometown event even if Book 7 is completed by then: they probably will want to take some time off of the Diasomnia focus so people don’t get too fatigued by it. I think having Book 7 AND a Briar Valley event at the same time or back to back would be too much at once.

Looking at the Coral Sea event, then, our next thought is: who’s going? Obviously, one of our Octavinelle boys is in. Jade is the least likely, since he’s already been in a hometown event (though this doesn’t rule him out entirely, since Kalim has been in his own hometown event and Leona’s hometown event). That leaves Azul and Floyd. My guess is for Azul. He’s popular, this would be a good event to show off his merform, and I have a hard time seeing Floyd going on his own to the Coral Sea and leaving Jade on land. However, I could also see Jade and Floyd going together without Azul.

Who would the guests be? Well, let’s look at who hasn’t been to a hometown event yet. People who have been in the events so far are: Epel, Idia, Jade, Sebek, Jamil, Kalim, Cater, Trey, Malleus, Leona, Vil, Jack, Lilia, Deuce, Ortho, Silver. Epel and Kalim have both been in two hometown events, one as host and one as guest, which makes them doubly unlikely to be picked. People who haven’t been in hometown events so far are: Ace, Riddle, Ruggie, Azul, Floyd, and Rook. Adding people who have only hosted (and are therefore still eligible to be guests in someone else’s hometown event) gives us Jamil, Leona, and Deuce. Not a massive list. Interestingly, Ignihyde and Diasomnia are the only dorms to have all of their members be guests in hometown events.

What does this sample tell us about the rules of hometown event guests? Well, there are always four to five people in every hometown event (four in Harveston and Clock Town, five in Tamashina-mina and the Scalding Sands.) It also seems like hosting your own hometown event doesn’t prevent you from being a guest in someone else’s, but being a guest in someone’s hometown even prevents you from being a guest elsewhere. This is probably not a hard and fast rule and is more to prevent card spreads from being too uneven. This also means that, because Azul and Floyd have been in no hometown events so far, they could both host their own event and be in the Briar Valley event back to back.

So potential guests for the Coral Sea hometown event are Ace, Deuce, Riddle, Ruggie, Leona, Jamil, and Rook. Anyone who gets picked for the Coral Sea event will not be picked for the Briar Valley event too, and there are seven options, so it seems to me that anyone who isn’t going to the Coral Sea will go to Briar Valley.

Now, these opinions aren’t really meant to be predictive so much as they are meant to just be, well, my opinions. Personally, I’d like to see Riddle in the Coral Sea event, along with Ace. Riddle because I think it would be hilarious if Floyd was hosting, and Ace because I think it would be fun to have a callback to Book 3, where he pretends to be a fan of merfolk. As for Briar Valley, I think Leona and Deuce would be good choices. Leona because, again, I think it would be funny if Malleus is hosting, and Deuce because he has a relatively positive relationship with Malleus in canon, and I think it would be cool to see him in Briar Valley. Admittedly both of these ideas rest on Malleus hosting, but I do still like the idea of them going to Briar Valley no matter who the host is.

I don’t have strong feelings about Rook, Jamil, or Ruggie. I lean Coral Sea for Jamil, if only because I think it’s funny when he interacts with Azul, and for Ruggie bc I just can’t see him being comfortable in Briar Valley. He knows when he’s outmatched. That puts Rook in Briar Valley. I’d like to give a preemptive apology to all the fae he is already hunting.

Speaking of Briar Valley, who’d host that event? In my mind, it’s a tossup between Malleus and Sebek. Yes, anyone from Diasomnia has an equal shot at the position, since they’ve all been in one event already, but Lilia and Silver strike me as the people with the least reason to go back to Briar Valley. They only have each other and Malleus, all of which are at school. Theoretically, Lilia could be called back for some kind of general duties, but unless he’s going with someone else, I don’t see him taking a bunch of classmates with him for that.

Malleus and Sebek both have decent reasons to need to return to the Valley. Malleus could have any number of princely duties to attend to, and might want to invite some friends along. Sebek has his family, who might call him home for any number of reasons. In my mind, Sebek is actually the most likely option for this reason, though this may also be because I think the character most likely to be introduced in a Briar Valley hometown event is Sebek’s dad. (No, no, hear me out- I know we want Maleficia, but I think she’s too important a character to introduce in a hometown event AND Leona’s hometown event is the only one to introduce a male character so far IT ALL FITS.) I could also see Malleus and Sebek hosting the event together, with Malleus leaving the guests in Sebek’s hands as he tends to his duties.

This was a long, rambling post that more or less sums up my thoughts on what might be coming up in the TWST hometown events. Agree? Disagree? I want to know what you guys think! Let me know!

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland analysis #twst book 6 #book 6 spoilers #JP spoilers #twst event spoilers #hometown events

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kehideni · 3 months

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Everyone is thinking it (and saying it) and i just wanna say it too:

I think Aaravos will use Callum's loyalty to Rayla to corrupt him, similar to Finnegrin, just use his love for her to force him into situations where he is forced to use dark magic, which gives him accest to his victims, i believe.

Which... well DUH it's the same thing that he did to Viren.

It's the "perfectly rotten thing" to do because, which person wouldn't do everything for those they love?

It's a pretty basic human thing to do to protect your loved ones whatever it may cost you. I honestly wouldn't be able to blame Callum because if I was in his place i'd do the same. Screw that magic snake, i'm turning it's slithering ass into a chain bruh, and i'd use that chain as a whip on Aaravos till he stopped moving.

And i was a 100% on Claudia's side when she killed those deer to heal Soren. If the show wanted to say something with that they missed the shot.

Viren did everything he thought he needed to do to save his loved ones, Claudia is like WHAOW the epitome of ride or die, and Callum is very much the same.

And as i was writing this i just came to realise: this trait was suspiciously only shown with human characters in this show so far. (I'm sure elves can, and do possess this personality trait too but the point is that it's not shown.)

I mean Sarai, Harrow, uuhh Aanya's parents(forgot their names, sorry), Amaya, Viren, Claudia, Callum, Soren, just about every main human character except for Ezran has shown going to great lenghts to protect those they care about. (And, well even Ezran can be argued as he did jump into ice water to save Zim's egg)

In contrast Rayla's parents refused to separate, they'd rather both leave Rayla to grow up without them than have one of them stay behind to raise their kid, while the other is guarding the egg.

(No i refuse to let that go, I know it's explanation, i understand they are stronger together and in the end both of them were needed againts Viren and still they barely got the egg saved, while both of them got coined, but that's an unpredictable event- as other guards were supposed to be there as well. In return they got an emotionally neglected daughter, congrats, parents of the year, round of applause)

And if you read Aaravos' short story on the website, he does admire humans for all the twisted reasons. (Aforementioned willingness to do ANYTHING in a situation desperate enough, and more interestingly the patience of humans [his words, not mine])

In The Dragon Prince humans are depicted as this "lesser than" species (as admitted by Sol Regem) who were said to be treated rather horribly by everyone else (which is why the unicorns took pity on them in the first place)

I HC that Aaravos was keeping a very close eye on humans, because he was probably the only person who didn't underestimate them, and decided he can use them for whatever end he wanted them. Maybe he had beef with the unicorns idk.

Or it could even be a Satan vs God situation, where Unicorns say humans are pretty neat and Aaravos was just like "look how neat they are once they know all these messed up stuff" but at this point i'm just spitballin'.

Rant done.

#the dragon prince

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sylvies-chen · 10 months

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is titling your metas too tacky? I don’t know but here’s some ramblings on

reading anakin’s arc in ROTS as a journey of mental illness:

I wanna preface this by saying I’m not a mental health professional so this information and analysis is not expertly informed. This is based off of very mild research that I’ve done as well as just my lived experience with how I’ve witnessed mental illness in the people I know and love. If I say anything that is ignorant, please do not hesitate to respectfully let me know.

••••••••

First off, it’s well worth establishing that Anakin’s main grappling moments before his true turn to evil in episode 3 were caused by the fear of losing Padme. And when you see the way the news of her pregnancy affects him, it’s really easy to see that news/piece of information as Anakin’s central stressor or trigger. So it’s very important to note that whatever mental illnesses I talk about here would also have been exacerbated by both that fact and by Palpatine’s influence and manipulation.

Anakin’s big outburst with order 66 and his fight with Padme and Obi Wan could all speak to it being an episode of psychosis. Psychosis can be triggered by something as mundane as an extreme disruption in sleep— which was true for Anakin from the minute Padme tells Anakin she’s pregnant. Interestingly, he’s had a history of sleep loss since AOTC too, briefly mentioning to Obi Wan that he doesn’t sleep well anymore.

Further, psychotic episodes or disorders will contain one or more of five categories: delusions, hallucinations, disorganized thought, disorganized behavior, and negative symptoms. We know already that both in AOTC and ROTS, he’s plagued with visions. (This one’s just obvious. Visions… dreams… hallucinations… Just because they actually come true doesn’t mean it isn’t a form of hallucination!! He’s seeing things that aren’t yet real!!!) But the twisted logic Anakin develops leading him to equate the mass murder of younglings with doing the right thing is akin to disorganized thought and delusion. His main delusion, obviously, is that he has to do unspeakable things and be a sith or else Padme will die in childbirth and this is the only way he can save her. This is close to what’s called a nihilistic delusion: when someone believes major catastrophes will occur if not for performing a certain action.

Now, sleep loss obviously doesn’t cause psychosis on its own but moreso is what pulls the trigger on psychosis in someone who’s been exposed to trauma or is already very mentally ill. That then begs the question: what are the broader underlying conditions to Anakin’s psychosis?

The most obvious answer is the trauma he suffered at such a young age. Anakin was the oldest youngling to have ever been recruited by the jedi. He had already grown to know the love of his mother, especially since it was the only true love he really had in his life up until that point, and then was forced to walk away from it. He also knew powerlessness, and knew the degrading nature of being someone’s property. Like even as a kid, you understand the lack of autonomy that comes with slavery. Oh, and as if that wasn’t enough, his mother had to be brutally tortured and killed! And as reckless as Anakin was at the beginning of AOTC, he wasn’t outright violent until then. Losing the first thing he ever knew to love and protect is a deeply scarring trauma, especially when it happens before you reach the age of twenty.

So trauma does play a significant part in triggering the psychosis in the 3rd quarter of ROTS, especially because having visions of losing Padme that were so similar to the visions he had of his mother dying, re-opened his trauma, sort of akin to retraumatization as often seen in people with PTSD.

However, many signifcant aspects of his character point not to PTSD, but to a type of dissociative disorder. We see so many small signs of complete dissociation in Anakin in ROTS, and hints of it in AOTC as well when he says he’s not supposed to be feeling angry, that there’s a war inside him, that he isn’t the jedi he was meant to be, etc. Already, he has a lot of identity confusion, a key component to dissociative disorders. To some extent, how could he not? He’s been pried from his mother’s hands and has been told by dozens of jedi and other people who he is and isn’t supposed to be since the age of 9. It’s not exactly giving him healthy and reasonable standards to live up to, nor is it giving him any room to embrace an identity of his own creation in any way. Before then it was Tatooine, and it’s not exactly like being a slave held space for him to really form and express an identity then either, apart from the identity of loving son. (The dramatic reaction to her death is starting to make more sense now, yeah?)

The depersonalization and derealization are very present in him, especially when he starts to confuse his dreams for reality/being set in stone and grapples with wondering who he even is anymore. Again, those two things are staples of dissociative disorders, which were likely set off and exacerbated by his trauma from childhood and youth.

Such a major component to the argument that Anakin has some dissociative disorder is the paranoia we see practically oozing out of Anakin’s pores by the end of ROTS. (Oozing like lava- I SAID NOTHING CARRY ON.) A huge part of the paranoia is Palpatine’s creation, because he wanted Anakin trusting no one so that it’d be easier to have him eating out of the palm of his hand. But extreme paranoia is indicative of mental illness, and you know it’s not a healthy and stable Anakin who’s shouting “LIAR!” at the love of his life and mother of his children, who’s lying to her hours before that, who’s distrusting of the man who, as he says in AOTC, is the closest thing he has to a father. Padme and Obi Wan were the people he loved most in the world, and so seeing the paranoia turn him against them is so heartbreaking, because it’s the true indicator that this is not the true Anakin we’re dealing with. We are not our worst moments. We are our happiest ones. And Anakin on Mustafar was not a mentally stable Anakin. Hell, with the dissociative disorder’s symptoms at play too, it was hardly even Anakin at all.

We also see partial hints of amnesia in Vader/Anakin, most notably when Palpatine has to tell him/remind him that he choked out his own wife. There’s such a devastating tragedy to Anakin asking “Where’s Padme?” like a dog who doesn’t realize he killed the crow he held in his teeth minutes before, and wants it for a companion to play with once more. But it also shows memory loss, a key component of dissociative disorders, further supporting the idea that Vader is of Palpatine’s creation, whom he metaphorically implanted into Anakin during his phases of dissociation to control Anakin and snuff him out, but Anakin’s love for Padme still seeps through in Vader for a moment and he doesn’t remember what he did. To this extent, I think Vader loves Padme as well. Vader/Anakin deep into a psychosis and paranoid rage, however, did not.

A clear pattern begins to form: the childhood trauma of slavery and of losing a parent led to the development of a dissociative disorders (which are often caused, studies show, by unstable and frightening environments in youth or just as a way to cope with trauma). Then, his dissociation sets off an psychosis episode, agitated by Palpatine’s influence and manipulation during Anakin’s most vulnerable moments. Thus, the fall of Anakin Skywalker through the lens of someone with mental illness.

I do want to recognize that people with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) are often poorly stereotyped as these very“Dr. Jekyl vs. Mr. Hyde” evil alter ego archetypes that are very harmful and not accurate. I do not intend to perpetuate these stereotypes any further. Identity alteration is a symptom of various dissociative disorders, not just DID, and so there can exist within Anakin that alteration of his identity to something so far removed from his original self during a dissociative episode or during psychosis without it necessarily being DID. To me, that’s what happened. Vader and Anakin, though treated like two distinct people by more than one character, are too enmeshed to be separate personalities. They aren’t the same, but it’s also worth noting that Anakin was able to do the right thing when it came to saving Luke. He never truly left. It was a matter of giving him a purpose, after having lost so many, to break free from the dissociative episode and the identity alteration and to return back to who he truly was, even at the risk of re-opening those old and painful wounds that time could never heal.

Finally, and most importantly, Anakin’s displayed symptoms of mental illness, his rage and trauma, and his grapplings with identity are not inherently evil things. Vader would not have even been so dark and so cruel a person if Palpatine hadn’t seen/felt/identified that space in Anakin for something wicked to grow and taken advantage of that, as people with mental illness often are. Palpatine planted the seed where something good or healthy could have grown, an identity that could have protected Anakin from his past trauma, from his visions, from himself, and instead Palpatine made it the thing that destroyed Anakin and everything he held dear.

And that’s a wrap!

If you’ve made it this far, thank you. I love you from the bottom of my heart and I mean that. You have thoughts? Share them! Comment or reblog or don’t be afraid to dm me!

TL;DR Anakin is mentally ill as fuck and somebody had to figured out what was going on in pookie bear’s twisted little neuron nugget

#the amount of hours I spent on this instead of sleeping is a sin #I have so many other thoughts related to this but yeah #hope this was enjoyable and not disgustingly dense for you guys #star wars #star wars prequels #anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker meta #padme amidala #obi wan kenobi

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