#homing pigeons never found their way back

[silentium-symphony]

care to tell us more about pigeons >:) ?

omfg i thought you'd never ask >:)

for thousands and thousands of years, pigeons have been at humanity's side as messengers, beloved pets, and holy symbols. going back to the messenger thing, pigeons had been used extensively during the World Wars to communicate between different battle fronts. i highly recommend reading up on the story of Cher Ami, the most decorated homing pigeon in U.S. history who saved a battalion of almost 200 men during WWI.

BUT ANYWAYS, for the longest time pigeons were beloved companions to people in one way or another. but technological advancements and societal/cultural shifts meant shunting away the old, leading to the release/escape of so many pigeons. many had their lofts torn down, leaving them to fend for themselves when they had relied on humans for so long.

ofc, nature always finds a way and they were able to survive without humans directly helping them, but bc of their history, close proximity to civilization was inevitable. pigeons became 'nuisances' for just trying to survive in major metropolitan areas.

we literally BRED THEM TO BE COMFORTABLE WITH HUMANS. and now we despise them, abandoned them in every sense of the word--cast them off as nothing but dirty pests that should be culled.

disease transmission is def a concern, but it's quite rare for individuals to contract them--the only people who are at risk are those who have a compromised immune system.

and yes they do poop everywhere, i can see how that would be annoying, but they're birds. birds. you can't get mad at them for carrying out natural biological processes.

SO IN CONCLUSION, these once beloved birds who have played significant roles in the cultures of long-forgotten empires and thriving modern civilizations, these intelligent birds who have served as humanity's communication system since FOREVER, these gorgeous birds bred for their beauty and grace and represent a universal symbol of peace, are considered ugly vermin--rats with wings--bc they dare live within our human spaces even though we've purposely bred them to. after we have grown tired of them. after we had no more use for them.

these once celebrated, cherished birds forced to make nests out of screws and nails.

[letters-from-dekarios]

aftermath

summary: you, your boyfriend, and your companions just saved the entire world from being turned into giant squid people. now, you have to go back to normal. how do you even do that?

or: you have anxiety over the future and gale comforts you.

word count: 2.3k

tags: sad angst/fluff, gale x gn!reader, tara is also there for a minute <3

As night fell over the city, a calm hush washed over you. This should have been a normal night, circled around the campfire with three of your close companions. You should be mentally preparing for the day to come, what trials you will encounter, and what people you’ll help. But tonight.. tonight was different. With the threat of a mindflayer infection gone, settling into a cozy bed with your boyfriend, Gale, almost felt.. wrong?

Wrong? Why would it be wrong? You’d been dreaming of having this moment together for ages now, and now you’re finally living it! The moonlight danced over your face as you turned to get comfortable, pushing the anxiety away from you with force. But as soon as you tried to close your eyes again, it came washing right back over you.

You turned onto your back once more, staring up at the ceiling with a sigh. You finally had a good, steady home after all those months fighting for it, and yet— you wanted nothing more than the comfort of having a purpose that was more than simply existing in this life.

Part of you wondered if that would ever wear off- perhaps you’d go scaring Gale half to death by seeking out a new adventure and new threats to conquer. The other part of you just wanted to get some damn sleep. And, well, also wondered when you’d settle back into “normal” life again. Could you even grasp that concept long enough to imagine it? After all, you weren’t exactly the ‘normal’ type.

Mindflayer specimens aside, you had changed as a person over the last few months. You were no longer the same as when you were abducted, no longer a simple baldurian trying to get by. You were a hero, known across all of Baldur’s gate— and further— for your acts. Normal didn’t really… exist for you, anymore.

Almost sensing your unease, Tara found her way into the bedroom. You hated to say it, but you found yourself seeing Gale’s comparison more and more every day. It’s a compliment! You almost had to remind yourself of that.

“Mister Dekarios won’t be pleased if he sees you awake,” Tara called from her ledge by the window. You turned to face her, a small smile greeting her presence.

“Mister Dekarios won’t be pleased if he sees those pigeon feathers in your fur, either.” You bantered with the Tressym. Tara had taken a liking to you, and you were rather glad for that.

With a small noise akin to a ‘tisk’, and a nudge to Gale, Tara was off back into the night. If only it were that easy.

It would take Gale a moment to wake, you knew that, so you stood and headed towards the window. Looking out over the city, mostly silent save for the occasional drunkard or merchant, your mind began to wander. Would you be here, now, with the one man you loved most, if it hadn’t been for those mindflayers? Would you ever have even crossed paths? You couldn’t answer that, and you didn’t want to, either.

A breeze slipped through the window, pushing your hair away from your face. You wrapped your arms around yourself, bracing for whatever would come next. What would come next?

Gale finally began to stir, a groan leaving him as he awoke in the dead of night. You pitied the wizard now and then, it was like he could never get enough sleep. Though… was it the age or the tadpoles that did it? You had no idea.

“Love..?” He called out, reaching to his side for you only to find you not there.

“Over here.” You replied, turning your head towards him so he could see you.

He made his way out of the bed, stretching out before stepping towards you. His hand found its way to your lower back, comforting the unspoken worries he could see on your face.

“What’s on your mind?” He asked a familiar question you were always unsure about answering. You might’ve responded ‘a flesh-eating tadpole’ before, but now that joke was obsolete.

“Come on, now, you’ve got something on that pretty little mind of yours— and it isn’t a tadpole this time.” Or, perhaps, Gale would make the joke for you.

“How do you do it?” You asked, turning your face back out to the city.

“Do what?”

“Go back to normal? I mean.. just a few weeks ago we didn’t know if we’d live or die and now.. now we’re supposed to cuddle together without the looming threats over our heads? How do you do it?” Desperation for an answer that would satisfy you lingered in your eyes as you looked up at him. How could he even begin to answer that?

“Darling…” Gale sighed, reaching up to cup your face with one hand. The other, still on your back, ran in a gentle, soothing circle.

“As much as it pains me to say it, there really is no… ‘normal.’ For god’s sake, we had devils chasing our tails and giant squid people trying to take over the world! Normal isn’t achievable for anyone nowadays.” He laughed softly, and though you knew in some part of you that he was right, it wasn’t the answer you wanted.

You pulled your face from his hand, looking back out through the window with your brows furrowed. You could hardly be mad at him for his sensible response, but you wanted more out of his answer.

Yes, logically, there was and never had been a ‘normal’. But it was the concept of normalcy that eased your mind at night. Knowing your daily routine would flow like usual, the baker would always have a fresh loaf for you in exchange for the three potions you prepped the night before (which you’d made in advance with the items you gathered that day on your way to check on your shop. Because of course, you had a shop!), that the librarian would have your books already set aside for you, and the blacksmith would have finished your newly commissioned dagger. Normal wasn’t even the right word for it anymore, it was the routine that kept you going.

“I understand that, Gale.” You replied, unusually cold to be speaking with him. Okay, maybe you were a little mad at him for his response. You knew he meant well, but, still.

“Ouch.” He frowned slightly, lowering his hands from you as he leaned against the frame of the window, his eyes trailing to watch the lights dancing in each home. “What troubles your heart, my love? Be honest with me, not angry.”

“Sorry..” You mumbled as you saw how you hurt him. You took a breath, ran a hand through your hair, and sighed out once more. “It’s just,” you stepped away from the window, gesturing as you tried to put your thoughts together, “before everything, the tadpoles and the mindflayers and the threat of constant death and before everything, I, you, we had lives, right? We both had family or friends we took care of, or a routine we’d settled into after years of careful planning, we had regulars or were regulars, we owned ourselves and our actions for who they were in their entirety, right?”

Gale nodded, allowing you to continue in your rambles. He had to admit he found it quite adorable the faces you made while deep in thought, though he wouldn’t say that aloud right now.

“Why is it so different now? It haunts me knowing I’m just.. supposed to find that all over again. Do that all over again. Everything has changed and yet nothing at all and I’m just supposed to figure it out? Like that? Why can’t things go back to the way they were, and why does it hurt so much knowing it will never be the same?” You asked, your voice cracking towards the end as piles of pain, guilt and fear washed over you.

“Oh, sweetheart..” Gale’s voice grounded you. His soft inflection of a pet name you adored brought you back to him, his arms open as you collapsed into him.

“I’m just so tired… and I can’t even find it in me to rest like this..” You added, allowing him to wrap his strong arms around you. You practically melted into him, despite still being so tense from your emotions.

“I didn’t know how troubled this was making you, my love.” He placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head, holding you tight in his arms. “How long have you been feeling like this, darling?” He asked, pulling back slightly to look down at your face.

You sniffled softly, tears slowly forming in your eyes and falling down your cheeks. You had kept it in for so long that the feeling of not feeling normal had, well, become normal. Letting it out was like dropping three smoke powder barrels down after carrying them from the goblin camp to Ethel’s teahouse because who knew when you might need them.

“A while..”

Gale sighed at your response, pulling back to sit down on the ledge of the window. He pulled you towards him and stood you between his legs, looking up at you with eyes full of worry and love. He took your hands in his own, rubbing his thumbs along your knuckles. “Y/n…” he started, grabbing your attention.

“You’re never going to get that back or find it again if you don’t communicate with me how you’re feeling. I’ve read thousands of books by all the wisest men in the world and yet I still can’t read your mind,” He paused, pursing his lips, “Well, I can, technically speaking. I choose not to. But that’s beside the point here.” He shook his head slightly at his diversion to the subject at hand.

“The point is, my love, I can’t help you, or us, gain or retain any sense of a normal routine if aren’t talking to me about it. It’s not easy by any means, and I don’t blame you for having your reservations about trying to find that again. Neither one of us is the same as how we started before all of this, too. You know that, yes?”

You nodded your head, using that as your response instead of verbally replying. Tears continued to roll down your cheeks as he spoke and you began to realize the true size of this issue.

“Instead of trying to go backward in time, can we agree to move forward together? Tell me, my love, what do you want for us?” He asked, reaching a hand up to your face and wiping a few tears away.

“I don’t… I want..” You had to think about it for a moment— what did you want with him? You never thought you’d get this far, especially since he was supposed to, you know, explode into a giant magical ball of energy (or however he explained it, you never understood that whole thing). And now here you were with him, all threats in your life gone and with the possibility to start anew, not over.

“I want us… I want... I want you. I want to start a life together with you.” You finally replied, sniffling and leaning into his touch.

The moonlight danced across the tears on your face, causing them to glisten and sparkle. Despite the high emotions, Gale couldn’t help in thinking about how pretty you looked at that moment.

“Then let’s start a life together.” He replied instantaneously, nodding his head in agreement with you. He dropped his hand from your cheek to your chin, lowering your head to look at him. “Let’s start a life together and have a million little children and a million Tressyms and—“

You cut him off with your laughter, shaking your head as he went on. Your soft laughs died into giggles and you found yourself leaning down to him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“What? I’m being serious!” He gasped at your audacity to laugh at the idea of a million miniature Gale’s running around creating Tressyms. His gasp quickly shifted into his signature low chuckle, his arms slipping around your waist while he tugged you into his lap.

“A million children, Gale?” You asked, laughing still as you looked back at him, shaking your head.

“Oh, you’re right. A million and one. Just in case.” He joked, leaning in to rub his nose against yours.

“That’s better..” you giggled, leaning into him as your anxieties washed away. Every day you were more and more thankful that you had him by your side.

“Y/n…” He said softly, looking into your eyes.

“Mhm?” You hummed, running a hand through his hair. Your eyes were focused on his for a moment, then his lips, then his eyes again.

“Promise me you’ll be more open as we go through this together, my love.” His face was serious, and you were forced to focus on him entirely and not the overwhelming desire to kiss him right there.

“I promise.”

“Good.” His serious expression shifted to that trademark grin as he leaned into you, brushing his lips against yours before finally pressing them together. You, of course, returned the kiss with as much gentleness as he had put into it.

It wasn’t long until you were back in bed with him, a weight taken off your shoulders. You were still anxious, of course, but for a different reason this time. Not because you had to figure out how to parent a million children— but because you had a whole future ahead of you with someone who truly, unconditionally loved you and would always be there for you.

You finally drifted off to sleep, comfortably nestled in the arms of your lover. You found yourself dreaming of the life you’d have, no longer pressured by fitting into a mold that stopped fitting you long ago. It was time to create your own mold to grow into, and you knew Gale would be right by your side to help you do that.

[ahonice]

just friends

nico hischier x fem reader

word count: 10.9k (the longest fic i’ve ever written i’m so sorry)

warnings: unplanned pregnancy and mentions of unprotected sex, cursing, the word climax, a little angsty, if i forgot anything lmk.

note: i started this on september 1st, this actually took forever. ANYWAYS hope y’all enjoy lmk if you love it, if you hate it, any feedback in general is appreciated!! love y’all babes <3

+++

it was an accident.

you and nico had been in a casual friends with benefits relationship for about a year and a half, having known each other for three years in total, when it happened.

you and nico were being stupid one night. after a few too many drinks, and no condoms to be found anywhere in your apartment, you and nico fucked without protection. 

you were on birth control and nico had pulled out, well he did halfway through his climax.

you didn’t think anything when you didn’t get your period the following month or the two months after that, you hadn’t had a period in four years thanks to your birth control. 

for weeks you thought you were just bloated, maybe you had been eating too much lately. you were much hungrier these past couple of weeks, it made sense.

it wasn’t until you threw up eleven times in one week before ten in the morning that you grew suspicious and worried at the possibility of you being pregnant. 

you stopped by the drug store on your way home from work and panic bought nine different pregnancy tests. 

you drank seven things of water during the day and took no bathroom breaks in preparation for this moment, and you had never been so scared to get test results back.

positive. every single one of them.

you felt faint, like the walls of your tiny studio apartment were caving in on you. 

you couldn’t have a baby, you couldn’t be a mother, it just couldn’t happen.

+++

the first thing you had to do was tell nico.

you and nico weren’t exclusive, and while he probably has his fair share of hookups, you did not. he was the only possible candidate for the father. 

nico was currently three days into an eight day road trip, and as much as you wanted to just get it over with, you knew this is not the type of bombshell to be dropped via snapchat or imessage, considering you two only used imessage to play game pigeon and the nature of your saved snaps was not welcome to an “i’m pregnant and you’re the father” chat.

you decided to just text him that you needed to talk when he got back.

to: nico (hookup)

hey lmk when you’re back in newark, we need to talk.

from: nico (hookup)

oh? 

from: nico (hookup)

everything okay?

to: nico (hookup)

not quite sure yet.

+++

five days later you found yourself at nico’s door, nine positive pregnancy tests in a ziploc bag in your purse. you were shaking, you don’t think you had ever been this nervous in your entire life.

nico opened up the door with a wide smile. you didn’t know what face you were making, but it was enough to make nico’s face fall and worry come through his tone of voice.

“y/n? what’s wrong?”

you didn’t even register his words, you just moved past him into his apartment and sat down on his couch.

“y/n?”

“i’m pregnant.”

the words fell out of your mouth before you could stop them.

nico sat there frozen on the loveseat as you pulled the pregnancy tests out of your purse.

around three minutes later you pulled your phone out and opened up some home makeover game, nico was still frozen.

“-oh and you’re the father but you probably already know that.”

+++

it was around four minutes later when nico finally opened up his mouth to speak.

“what are you going to do?”

his question made me a little angry, yes he wasn’t entirely at fault, but he could’ve at least taken

a little responsibility and said “we” instead of “you”.

“i don’t know yet, i have an appointment with an obgyn on saturday. i’ll learn about my options there.”

“what time?” nico asked, opening up his phone calendar.

“10:30.” you knew that nico had practice at that time because it was a game day. “you have practice, i’ll just let you know what i decide to do.”

“this is my child too, i want to be a part of the decision making.”

“well you’re not going to be the one taking care of them, i am.”

“what makes you think that? i mean obviously i will be on the road at times during the season, but when we’re on homestands and since we’ll be married we’ll have the off season together-”

“woah take a girl out to dinner before you propose nico.” you interrupted. “we aren’t getting married…” “we’ve done a whole lot more than just dinner, and yes we are? how are we supposed to raise this baby together if we aren’t together.”

“have you ever heard of co-parenting? -also who says i’m keeping it, i haven’t made my decision yet.” you get up from your spot on his couch. “look i have to go, i’ll tell you about my appointment tomorrow.”

nico let out a heavy sigh. “don’t make any decisions without me.”

+++

“y/n?” 

you looked up at the nurse who was holding the door open with their body and walked up to greet her, your knees slightly wobbling from the nerves running through you.

“please follow me into room two, i’m just gonna get your vitals.”

you stayed silent as she took your blood pressure and checked your reflexes, you had to take a moment to calm yourself down after you saw your weight, you had freaked out before you remembered that there was currently another being inside of you.

“alright your vitals look good.” the nurse spoke before exiting the room. “follow me into this room, you can go ahead and take a seat on the bed in the center of the room. the doctor should be in shortly.”

you nodded and thanked her before she exited and you took a look around the room, taking a few mirror selfies to send to the family group chat. you had told all of your immediate relatives over facetime on your way back from nico’s yesterday, the news was received better than you had planned so you couldn’t say anything about your mom’s comments on being a grandmother, she made it very clear she was on team “keep the baby and be a badass single mom in the city”.

you sat on the bed/chair thing, ripping the paper instantly as you tried to get comfortable.

you took your eyes off your phone as you heard a series of knocks.

“miss y/n?”

“yes, that’s me.”

“hi, i’m dr.swarn i’ll be assisting you today. is this your first ultrasound?” the middle aged woman asked.

“yes it is.”

“and do you know how far along you are?”

“i’m assuming three to four months…i just found out yesterday…”

“well we will find out today.” the doctor began getting the sonograph ready as you attempted to mentally prepare yourself. “-and i have to ask…the father, is he in the picture?”

“he is, but it’s complicated…we aren’t together.”

the doctor simply nodded before asking you to lift up your shirt and warning you that the gel might be cold.

after a few moments, a grainy black and white image showed up on the screen, dr. swarn pointing things out. “-and this is your baby! it is a couple weeks too early to figure out the gender, so i would estimate that you are about four months pregnant.” 

you didn’t really focus on anything she said though, all your attention was on that tiny blob.

“do you want to hear the heartbeat?”

as dr.swarn began to turn up the volume the door swung open.

a very out of breath and sweaty nico stood in the door frame, bent over catching his breath.

“sorry i’m late!” nico walked up towards where you were lying on the table and smiled up at the doctor. “i’m the father.”

dr.swarn smiled at him before speaking. “well you made it just in time, we were just about to listen to the heartbeat.”

she had the screen turned towards her so nico had yet to see the baby. “this is your baby-” dr.swarn turned the screen back towards you and nico. “and this is their heartbeat.”

it was like everything around you had disappeared and all you knew was the image of your baby and the sound of their heartbeat. nico grabbed your hand and effectively pulled you out of the trance you were in.

“would you like me to discuss your options with you?” dr.swarn asked, turning the heartbeat down.

“no, i’m keeping it.”

+++

you got a recording of the heartbeat and got a couple prints of the ultrasound before exiting the doctors office, nico getting the same things as you.

“so you’re actually gonna keep it?” nico asked once he had walked you to your car.

“yes i am, and i don’t expect you to be involved at all if you don’t want to…i can do this on my own.”

“well you won’t have to.” nico started. “move into my apartment.”

you sighed, but nico spoke again before you could. “look we don’t have to get married right away, just move in…we will see how things go from there.”

“nico- i’m not moving in with you, i am perfectly fine living in my apartment and so is the baby.” you didn’t mean for your tone to come off so harsh, well you did a little bit, but you didn’t want nico thinking that you would be getting together just because of your child together. “look nico, i know that you believe that to raise a child the mother and father need to be together but i don’t and i don’t want to be with someone just because people think we have to. i will not be having a shotgun wedding.”

“what is a shotgun wedding?”

“-it does matter. we are not getting together nico.” you got into the driver's seat of your car. “i don’t really know how this co-parenting shit works, and i’m assuming you don’t either so let’s just make sure to be patient with one another, okay?”

nico nodded before you said your goodbyes and drove off in the direction of your apartment.

+++

around two weeks later as you sat in your little cubicle your phone started ringing.

nico (hookup)

you sighed and saved the progress on your current project before picking up the phone.

“hello?”

“hey, are you home right now?”

“no, it’s two in the afternoon on a thursday. i’m at work.”

“oh i didn’t think you would work while pregnant…” “i need to fund this child’s life somehow.”

there was an awkward silence for a few moments before you spoke up again.

“did you need something nico?”

“well i called to ask if you would like to come over for dinner tonight.”

“what are you making? because i don’t mean to sound rude, but this child doesn’t like anything i cook and you’re much worse than me.”

“hey i’m not that bad!” you both chuckle before nico speaks again. “is there anything you’re craving right now?”

“jiggly cheesecake and that gouda mac n cheese with sausage i got when we went to new york two years ago.”

“okay i can’t make any of that.”

“just make whatever you want, i’ll force it down if the baby doesn’t like it. what time should i come over?”

“5:30?”

“okay, i’ll just come straight from work.”

you said your goodbyes before you go back to your work.

+++ 

once the clock struck 4:45 you called it a day and headed out to your car before driving to nico’s apartment.

you knocked on the door, a tad bit confused because you heard multiple voices on the other side of the door, if it wasn’t for the welcome mat on the outside that you had forced nico to get you would’ve thought you were at the wrong door.

“hey.” nico opened the door, the voices only getting louder.

“hey…are other people joining us…?” you asked, looking around his apartment confused.

“yeah i probably should've mentioned-”

nico had begun to speak, but a voice that you knew as nico’s mother. “is y/n here!?” soon you saw her smiling faces coming towards you with open arms. “oh come here, it’s been too long sweetie!”

god bless your work bag that seemed to span to five feet because it was hiding your baby bump that was very noticeable in your blouse.

“hello mrs.hischier, how are you?” you asked politely, but you were really wanting to strangle nico right now.

“i’m great! luca and nina are here too!”

“oh that’s great! i’ll go see them in a second, i just need to talk to nico really quickly.”

you smiled as she walked away before turning to nico and gave him a swift slap on the backside of his head. “are you crazy!? did you just ambush a pregnancy announcement on me!?”

“look, i know this probably wasn’t the best way to approach this, but my family needs to know.”

“i am fully aware of that, but this is something that you plan out, not something you spring on a pregnant woman!”

“i’m sorry! just- let’s go into the living room, nina really misses you.”

you had met nico’s family multiple times before and were especially close with his sister nina, she was the only one who knew of you and nico’s odd relationship and was the number one supporter of you two getting together.

you walked out, your work bag still covering yourself as you greeted luca and nina, the later giving you a look that only made you nervous.

you made small talk with the family before nico announced that dinner was ready. thankfully nico had brought your plate to you, both you and the fetus were happy with the look and smell of the fettuccine alfredo, with sausage, that nico had made. “thank you.”

as much as you didn’t want to, you had to set your work bag that had been used as a bump shield on the floor to eat, you just hoped everyone was too distracted by the food in front of them to notice.

“so what was the news that you had to share? i assume it has to do with y/n?” mrs.hischier spoke excitedly, it was obvious she was hoping that you and nico had started dating.

“y/n is pregnant and i’m the father and we are keeping it, but we are not together.” nico spoke quickly, his head down as if he was a child being scolded.

“oh…” 

it wasn’t the worst reaction that could’ve happened, but it definitely wasn’t the best one, but how good of a reaction could one get after they tell their mother they got their fuck buddy pregnant.

“we’re figuring this all out as we go, but i am very sorry mrs.hischier i understand this isn’t how one would usually want their son to become a father.” you apologized, your head was also down.

“i’m not angry, just shocked and a little bit disappointed in you nico…but everything happens for a reason so i fully support you two.” you and nico let out identical sighs as his mother revealed that she was not going to disown either of us.

+++

the rest of dinner went great, you even made plans for both yours and nico’s family to get together for a small gender reveal brunch before the hischier’s headed back to switzerland.

nina had called dibs on walking you out so you prepared yourself for the question you knew she was going to ask.

“are you absolutely, one hundred percent, serious when you say that you and nico are not together in any way, whatsoever, romantically?” nina asks, using too many synonyms for the word definitely.

“yes i am absolutely, one hundred percent, serious when i say that me and nico are not together in any way, whatsoever, romantically.” you reply, mocking her words.

she doesn’t seem too pleased by your answer and whines. “why? i want a sister and you are the only person i like, in general.”

“that is very sweet nina, but me and nico don’t like each other in that way. we’ve been…boinking for almost two years now. if either of us had feelings, i guarantee they would have been confessed by now and we probably would not be expecting a child out of wedlock in five months.”

nina let out an exaggerated sigh as you neared your car. 

“me and nico are just friends, okay?” you spoke, getting into the driver’s seat. 

“yeah friends who happen to boink on a weekly basis and are now expecting a child together.”

“i’ll see you at brunch on sunday nina.” 

+++

“i’m team boy and girl!”

“mom i already told you we aren’t having twins.” 

the sunday morning activities were supposed to be fun, and they were, but they were causing you a shit load of stress. 

it seemed like everything nico was doing was aggravating you, and when nico and your little brother were in the same room it was a recipe for disaster. plus your mother wasn’t any help, she teamed up with nico’s mother and kept pressuring you to at least move in with nico, who you believe put them up to it.

“okay let’s just get this over with!” you yelled out, just wanting to figure out the gender so you could go home and have some much needed alone time.

nico came up next to you holding the envelope that contained the gender. “you ready mommy?”

“ew, don’t call me that.”

everyone had their phones out and began counting down as nico opened up the envelope.

“it’s a…GIRL!”

everyone’s cheers only furthered your headache, but you gave nico a smile and side hug before going over to your mother who ecstatically hugged you.

“a baby girl! i’m so happy for you y/n, my first grandbaby!”

you quickly said your goodbyes, not bothering to eat any of the food that was made or open any of the gifts that were brought.

were you being a rude, ungrateful, bitch for no reason? yes. but you were too exhausted to care or feel bad about nico’s constant dejected looks on his face throughout the morning.

+++

the second you got home you passed out on the floor of your apartment , god bless the pregnancy pillow your mother had delivered to you because you had a weird thing for sleeping on hardwood floors. 

you woke up at three in the afternoon to a series of knocks at your door. you took a while to get up and once you did you regretted it because you saw nico looking very angry through the peephole. 

you grabbed a sharpie and a sheet of paper towel and wrote the words “GO AWAY” in a very bold font before slipping it under the door.

the knocking silenced for a moment before it got louder, along with a call of your name.

“y/n. open the fucking door.” nico was seething.

you opened up the door. “what? i was sleeping.” you pointed to the pillow and blanket on the floor of your kitchen.

“on the floor?”

“yes- what do you need nico?”

“you left the party so quickly that you didn’t even get to open up your gifts, or acknowledge them.” nico gestured to the large bag of wrapped gifts that sat at his feet. “you actually left the party so early that the food wasn’t even served before you had said your goodbyes, which by the way thanks for not saying goodbye to me and thanks so much for the fake smile and side hug you gave me after we found out the gender of our child. that’s gonna be a real joy to look back on.”

you felt your headache coming back, you were starting to believe the sole cause was nico.

“seriously what was your problem this morning?” nico asked after a few moments of silence.

“my problem was that i didn’t even want this baby in the first place and i know for a fact i’m not going to be a good mother, and you! nico you are my problem, everything you did this morning seemed to piss me off and it’s probably just the pregnancy hormones making me easily irritable, but you were getting on my fucking nerves by breathing this morning.” 

nico kicked the bag of gifts into your apartment in a fit. “well i’ll stop bothering you then.”

you knew you should’ve been a rational adult and went after him, but you weren’t, so you slammed the door and brought all the gifts to the living room so you could open them.

you smiled as you realized that all of the gifts were for you. your favorite candies and snacks, maternity clothes, and some prenatal care items that you probably should’ve started taking the second you found out you were pregnant, with the exception of one gift. it was from nico, you could tell by the poor wrapping job, you had been the one to wrap all of his christmas gifts ever since you met him except your own of course, those he always wrapped himself and they were a nightmare.

once you got his present unwrapped you found a boat load of mini devils gear. bibs, socks, a onesie, even a pair of noise canceling headphones. at the bottom of the box you found a very tiny devil’s jersey with the number thirteen on the back and a big patched “C” on the front. you teared up once you saw the big patched “DADDY” above the thirteen on the back and a matching bow headband with a small note. i’m writing this before the reveal and i know we don’t know the sex yet, but i’m hoping for a girl and i know you are too. i hope the headband is a little good luck charm that baby girl judith is on the way. - nico.

you teared up at the note, especially at nico remembering the name you’ve always wanted to name your first daughter.

you quickly called nico, tears streaming down your face and nose all stuffy.

“hello?”

“come back up…please.”

“on my way.”

+++

you stood by the door waiting for nico to knock and once he did you immediately opened the door and nearly tackled him from the hug you gave him.

“i’m sorry.” you mumbled, still crying.

“i know, it’s okay.”

you walked into your apartment and sat on your couch next to nico. “you remembered my baby names.”

“how could i forget them?” nico stated.

“what would you have done if it was baby boy gannon instead of judith?” you asked, turning your head that was leaned on his shoulder up to look at him.

“turn the headband into a bowtie…?”

you laughed at him before your stomach growled loudly.

“what are you in the mood for?” nico asked immediately.

“canes, but that’s in the city and i don’t wanna make you go to new york.” 

nico stood up after hearing your restaurant of choice. “c’mon, i’ll drive.”

+++

“how is it?”

“this is sex in a chicken tender nico, thank you for taking me here.”

nico laughed at your response before the both of you continued to eat a comfortable silence.

“hey tell your family that i’m sorry for how i was acting this morning, i am super grateful for them helping plan the reveal and to delay their flight to attend.”

“don’t worry, they understand that pregnancy emotions can be a lot, but i will still let them know.” nico said, making a mental note to text the family group chat.

“their gifts were very thoughtful too, how did nina know i like black licorice?”

“oh i let them know all your favorite things, that wasn’t alcohol.” nico shrugged as if it was no big deal.

you took a moment to process his answer, it wasn’t that weird for nico to know all of your favorite snacks and desserts, that’s what friends do…right?

+++

to: nico (hookup)

i have my sixth month checkup tomorrow at 10am, would you like to join?

from: nico (hookup)

yeah, do you wanna meet there or drive together?

to: nico (hookup)

could we drive together? 

from: nico (hookup)

of course, i’ll pick you up at 9:30, we’ll stop by mcdonalds for breakfast. i know you love their sausage muffins.

you hadn’t seen nico since the day of the gender reveal party and when you went into the city together to get canes. of course you stayed in contact, but it was hard with both of your work schedules that often collided. 

the next day nico was knocking on your door right at nine thirty in the morning, and you were still passed out. the pregnancy pillow and weighted blanket combo was not being your friend right now, though it was at 5am when the gremlin in your womb wouldn’t stop kicking. which she did for the first time earlier that day.

after about five minutes of nico knocking on your door with no response he began to fully panic, had you fallen down and couldn’t get up? were you dead in your bed? did you forget he was picking you up? so many things could’ve happened to you.

after a few moments of contemplating, nico decided that his only option was to break the door down. he began backing up a few steps and then running full force into your door, it took about seven tries for the door to fall to the ground.

the sound of the first impact of nico’s body was enough to wake you up. at the second impact you became aware of your surroundings, and at the third you thought someone was trying to break into your apartment.

you grabbed the closet weapon you could find, a meat pounder that you left on your kitchen counter last night, and got in position, ready to attack the person on the other side of the door.

once the door fell to the ground and the body fell on top of it, you got ready to swing.

“y/n!? are you alive!?”

“AHHH- nico!?” you froze your movements, the pounder hanging right above your head. “what are you doing here!?”

nico was still on the ground, also frozen as he tried to catch his breath. “ultrasound.”

you dropped your hands to your side as an ohhh played in your head. “i’m sorry i completely forgot. just give me a few moments and then we can leave.”

you turned around to enter your room before you froze and turned back around.

“i don’t have a front door…”

“i’ll text jack to come over and watch over the place and reattach it while we’re gone, the kid needs something to do this morning anyways.” nico said while pulling out his phone.

“does he know?”

“no, but he will…i’ve been meaning to ask you about telling the team anyways.”

“we can talk about it later , i need to get ready.”

you quickly got dressed, sporting a tight tank top, tight leggings, and a tight zip up. all tight because this baby had you gaining five pounds a minute. you huffed and puffed trying to get the tank top on. eventually you got it over your bump, but it was rising up and you were spilling out of it in too many places. deciding to just embrace the bummy look you threw on uggs, didn’t bother to put your contacts in, and left your hair in the rat's nest bun you’ve been wearing for the past five days since you were told to take a break from work by your boss, of course you had to faint in front of her.

“nico i need to get maternity clothes, i’m pretty sure these tanktop strings will snap if i raise my arm and don’t get me started on these leggings.”

“you’re huge…” 

“thanks nico, you’re really helping out right now.” you joked, but deep down you were upset. you don’t tell a pregnant woman she is huge, especially if it’s your baby. “let’s go, we can’t be late.”

“jack is almost here, babe.” the nickname slipped out before nico could even process what he was saying.

“uhm…”

“yo nico what’s up…where is y/n’s door.” jack said while walking into your apartment.

“you’re standing on it.” you spoke. jack’s eye’s wandered to you and then to your belly, and then they got really wide. “hi jacklyn.”

“oh shit.”

“we can talk about this later, but me and nico really have to go because we’re already running late.”

you and nico quickly walked out, the later telling jack that you had a toolbox under your sink and to “go crazy.” 

“no mcdonalds then huh?” nico asked as you got into his car.

“no, but i’ll be fine.”

+++

you weren’t fine.

you quickly got hangry and so did judith, nico seemed to be your punching for just about everything and even though he said he was fine, you could tell you hit home when you told him he needed to wax his eyebrows.

dr.swarn was completely fine with you guys being ten minutes late because she didn’t have anyone scheduled after you. the appointment went great except judith didn’t want to kick when nico felt your stomach, and of course nico’s hands were all dry and calloused which you hated feeling on your skin, and then after the ultrasound was over you guys rushed to mcdonalds because nico was determined to get you a damn sausage muffin, but of course you were two minutes past the cutoff for lunch and the teenager taking your order wouldn’t budge and you had to pretend like the cheeseburger didn’t come back up the second you got into the restroom. all you wanted to do is go home and be alone…and eat jalapeno poppers…and mozzarella sticks…

nico stopped at target to get what you wanted, and mac n cheese bites because he knew you’d love them.

you were pleasantly surprised when you arrived home to your door back on. luckily it had just separated itself from the hinges when nico tackled it to the ground, so it was an easy fix for jack.

once you stepped inside, nico quickly got to work, placing large portions of everything he bought in your airfryer. nico said it was crazy to buy a twenty size quart size air fryer and that you would never use it, but here he was being proven wrong.

you quickly changed out of the leggings and jacket, leaving the tank top on because you knew it would be just as much of a workout to get it off as it was to get it on and you threw on nico’s heart boxers he swears he wore as a joke, but you knew he picked them out at the store being one hundred percent serious.

“you two kids come sit down.” jack spoke loudly, as if he was your father.

“jack we are both older than you.” nico spoke sitting down in the spot next to you on your couch.

“doesn’t matter. you’re pregnant?”

you both nodded as jack pointed to you.

“-and you’re the father?”

you both nodded as jack pointed to nico.

“and you’re keeping it together as…”

“friends, just friends.”

“friends don’t have babies together.” jack gave you a skeptical look.

“they do now.” you stood up. “goodbye jack.”

+++

“i think it’s best if you two move in together, for both your safety y/n, and the babies.”

dr.swarn spoke before leaving you and nico in the room alone,

you were now seven months pregnant and you were constantly fainting, your boss had stopped allowing you to come into work and told you that you “needed rest” so you met her halfway and you now work from home.

nico was over one night after a game when he walked in on you passed out on the kitchen floor, but this time it wasn’t on purpose. he immediately began staying the night on your couch to make sure you were alright and as soon as you could he got you into dr.swarn’s office.

“i’m taking you home and we’re packing you up. i’ll text jack to come over with luke.” nico said as you exited the obgyn. 

“you know i can help right? judith is fine-”

“-but you’re not fine! you told dr.swarn that you’ve been fainting since even before you got pregnant, and i didn’t know. why didn’t you tell me about all this?” nico interrupted you, obviously upset.

“because it’s not important!” you snapped back. “it doesn’t affect judith in anyway, so i don’t understand you’re so worried.”

“it’s important because it affects you. i am worried about you, and i’m allowed to be. now there is no more arguments, you will be moving in with me and ending your lease at your current place.”

“nico-”

“no, that is final.”

+++

for the rest of the day you sat and watched tv while the two hughes and nico packed up your apartment until they had to pack your tv, which you insisted they did last.

“the truck is all loaded up, we’re gonna drive it over to nico’s and he is going to drive you in your car.” jack spoke as you approached where the truck was parked on the side of the street.

you nodded as nico helped you into the car. you hated admitting it, but you were much larger than you were expecting to be at this time in your pregnancy. 

+++

once you had made it to nico’s apartment you did the same thing you were doing before while the boys unpacked your stuff into the second bedroom, absolutely nothing.

you got up and waddled over to where the guys were all watching luke struggle to get the fitted sheet on your bed.

“can i please do something? anything?” you begged.

“yeah, go out and use my laptop to create a list of things you want as gifts at the baby shower, a registry because i know you want specific things for judith.” nico answered your begging.

“baby shower? i’m having a baby shower?” you had not been informed of this.

“yeah, all the guys on the team and their partners are gonna come, so are your friends and family, mine is coming too.” nico spoke like it was no big deal. 

nico had told the guys about three weeks ago because they saw the ultrasound in his locker. which in response had you getting multiple text messages from some of the girls all sounding very similar to “i thought y’all were just friends?” 

“when is this?” you asked, knowing you would need to get an outfit ready.

“next saturday, we have no game.” nico replied simply

“that’s in a week!” you shrieked, when you went maternity clothes shopping that did not involve any dresses.

“yeah, so you better get working on that list.”

+++

it only took you ten minutes to make the list because all you had to do was transfer it from a google doc, where it was already made but just titled as your shopping list, to a spreadsheet where people could claim a gift to give you, nico, and the baby.

it was a list with the basics. a stroller, breast pump, car seat (preferably one that went with the stroller), bed sheets, clothes, the essentials to keep a newborn alive, but you also had other things like decor for the nursery toys, and this bedside bassinet that your mother had been raving about since she saw it on facebook. you thanked god that your new room had a walk-in closet because that was going to be judith’s room. you weren’t even sure it was a closet because it was completely empty, no shelves or rods to hang anything on, it was more of a very small room, but it worked out better for you so you couldn’t complain.

you quickly went back to where the boys were, silently screaming as they made your bed completely wrong.

“please, oh please for the love of god, let me make my bed.” you begged nico, genuinely astonished that they had managed to put your pillows in the wrong order and put your comforter on inside out.

“i thought i told you to make your list?” nico said.

“i already finished. it was easy.” you said as you began stripping your bed of everything on it. “i just put down everything i already had on my shopping list…and then some because i know my friends are gonna wanna get me multiple things.”

you made sure to stare jack down as you put your comforter on the correct way before you placed your pillows in the correct order as well as the blankets at the end of your bed.

nico was quick to rush you back into the living room, turning on a movie for you to watch. you quickly got bored, which meant you quickly got hungry.

“nico!” you yelled out, needed your baby daddy to come to your rescue.

“yes honey?” nico approached where you were lying down, the two brothers laughing at their captain.

“i’m hungry.” you gave him a hopeful smile. “for taco bell…” “you’re order still the same as it was last time?” nico didn’t even hesitate to grab his shoes and keys. 

“yes, but if they have nacho fries please get those too.” you answered, nico had basically all of your fast food orders memorized by now.

“nico can i get some food too?” jack asked in a girly voice.

“please honey!” luke added.

“fuck off you two, go finish putting her clothes away.

+++

soon enough you had dragged nico out to go shopping for a dress for your baby shower. luke and jack had left shortly after nico arrived back home with your food and once you finished eating you got nico to drive you to the mall.

“ooh what about this one?” you pulled out a simple floral dress.

“it’s nice, but it’s only march. don’t you think it’ll be too cold for a tank top?” nico spoke, reminding you that it was still freezing cold in new jersey.

a few minutes later you approached where nico was sat in a chair with a dress you thought would be more appropriate. 

“what about this? i love the pink.” it was basically a dupe of the skims long sleeve dress, but you didn’t really care. “we’ll have to find a polo that matches the color while we’re out.”

nico approved of the dress so you were quick to go to the checkout and buy the dress, excited about the event that was going to happen, after you pulled nico into the closest department store and found a polo that was close enough to the shade of pink of your dress. 

“how are you gonna tell the media about…this whole thing?” you asked on the way home.

“what whole thing?” nico questioned, not exactly understanding what you meant.

“the fact that you knocked up some chick, who you are now living with to raise the baby, but you aren’t together with said chick.” you deadpanned, thinking of all the reactions you knew you were going to get from the hockey world. you could already see the “baby trapper” and “gold digger” comments and dms you would get.

“i didn’t knock up some chick, i knocked up my…friend?” 

“yeah go with that, it sounded real believable nico.” you said sarcastically.

“look i don’t really know how to tell the world that i got my hook up/best friend pregnant because, as jack as told me multiple times, my pull out game is weak.” you laughed and agreed with jack that nico did in fact have a weak pull out game, the evidence was currently kicking you. 

after a few moments of silence nico spoke up again. “alright what if we don’t mention our relationship at all. we just make an instagram post together of images of the ultrasounds and pics from the baby shower and tell everyone that we are expecting. we definitely won’t post the gender reveal video because you look like you were planning my death in it, but we just make the post and don’t comment on our relationship.”

you had to admit that it was a good idea, but you already knew that this would make everyone assume that you were dating. most people did already, which you understood. you wore playoff jackets with nico’s name and number, you attend team events and parties together, hell you went to the nhl awards with him and his family, and you are super close with his family, so you were never upset that people assumed your relationship status with nico because you did everything that the other girlfriends and wives did.

“i like that idea.”

+++

“alright this gift is from me and jack.” luke spoke as he handed you a gift.

you were a bit overwhelmed with the amount of people looking at you and just simply being in your home, but you knew that these people were here for you and at the end of the day you were getting a shit ton of gifts. 

so far every single thing you had put on your list was gifted to you and now it was just things people thought you or the baby would like.

“oh you guys…i love it!” it was a wood wall decal of judith’s name and it matched the pink polkadot of her sheets.

“there is more under it.” jack spoke up. 

you lifted up the large sign and saw a baby onesie in maize and blue that said “future wolverine.”

you and your friends started laughing at it. 

“you guys do know that i went to ohio state right?”

you were met with a disgusted stare by the brothers, more specifically the youngest, only causing you to laugh harder, not noticing nico’s pissed off expression, the one he had on his face all day.

+++

you continued to open up gifts and thank everyone, nico was one writing duty so he wrote down each gift and who it was from so you could send them thank you cards later in the week.

once presents were done it was photo time. you took lots with your family and nico’s family, as well as some with your friends, and of course you had to keep the tradition going with the girls from the team and took a picture of everyone pointing at your belly.

you only took a couple with nico, as he had been oddly distant all day.

after everyone left you and nico began moving everything into judith’s nursery and setting things up.

“thank you for setting that up, i had a lot of fun.” you spoke up, interrupting the awkward silence that was looming around you two.

nico nodded as he finished building the crib, you were given the simple task of putting all the wipes and diapers in the changing table’s cabinet.

“so once we’re done do you want to make the instagram post? or were you wanting to wait until after judith was born to post?” it was awkward, nico was just sitting there once the crib was all set up. “...nico?”

you were met with silence, nico was staring at you, yet not speaking.

“okay what the hell is up with you today? you’ve been weird all day, the only time you were even interacting with me was during pictures.” you had snapped, getting aggravated by the swiss’ behavior today.

“it’s nothing i just…” nico started speaking, but trailed off quickly.

“are you having second thoughts about all of this?” you whispered, scared to say it too loudly, scared that it is the truth. “second thoughts about judith?”

nico’s head instantly shook. “no, of course not.”

“then what’s wrong?”

“it’s nothing, i’m just not feeling the greatest and i didn’t want to risk you getting sick so i tried to keep my distance from you…” nico lied.

earlier, when the party was first starting, nico had overheard your conversation with your friends about how you couldn’t wait to give birth so you can start going out on dates and having meaningless hookups, saying that you missed being a twenty two year old who could do twenty two year old things. 

nico understood you had urges, hell he had his urges too. over the course of your pregnancy you and nico had the occasional…hang out, but ever since you moved it was happening once, sometimes twice, a day. he thought it meant something, he thought you guys were finally going somewhere, but it seemed like you just wanted to go back to how things were before, which would probably be impossible, you have a fucking kid togther.

nico had realized a year ago that he had feelings for you. the only reason he didn’t go full legal team on your ass when you told him you were pregnant was because of how desperately he had fallen for you.  

“oh, well you could’ve just told me that earlier, i was worried that i had done something.” you said before an awkward silence settled in the room. “well could you put all the sheets and clothes we got today in the washer? i’m gonna start on thank you notes in the living room.”

you shook off the tension as you exited the small room, nico gathering everything that needed to be washed in a small basket before going into the laundry room.

+++

“i don’t like that, why don’t we just wait to post until she is born to post everything, have the caption just be judith? i think that's better than a three hundred word rant that could be summarized by i knocked up my friend.” 

three weeks until you were due to pop and you and nico still hadn’t gone public with the pregnancy. of course the wag blogs found a way to get a hold of a picture of you and nico from earlier on in the pregnancy where people could only speculate whether or not you were with child or just had a large lunch and somehow it got out that you had moved in with nico, only furthering the rumors that had been going on for years that you and nico are more than just friends. 

“okay. let’s wait until she comes to post, but i don’t like that caption, let’s keep thinking.” nico replied, the devil’s PR team email staring back at him. “they want us to publicize it before someone else does it for us.”

“well it’s a good thing i’m chained to this bed until i go into labor.” you joked, you were so big you could barely sit up let alone walk anywhere. “no one is going to find out, don’t worry. it will all be okay.”

+++

two weeks later you had been having contractions all day, but dr.swarn said to not go to the hospital until your water had broke because these contractions could’ve been directly connected to stress. considering that your pregnancy was exposed three days ago, you would say that you were pretty stressed out.

one of the girls, not even thinking, had posted a photo dump on instagram to celebrate the devil’s season ending and included one from your baby shower. nico, you, and unborn judith right in the center of it all. it was quickly taken down, but the damage had already been done and now all of nico’s and your social medias were being flooded by comments. 

nico was currently at locker cleanout, and the meeting he had to have with the PR team to apologize for not listening to them and to set up a game plan to rescue him from whatever deepshit this was going to get him in was scheduled for right after.

you were laid down on the kitchen floor, your mother was somewhere in the living room timing your contractions. you were having a big contraction, holding onto the nearby chair leg for support, when you felt a gush of liquid puddle under you. 

“MOM!?” you yelled out, your water had just broke.

“sweetie!? what’s going on- OH LORD!” your mother scrambled to get you on your feet as you cried out in pain. “let me get the bag!” you had never seen your mom run so fast, you would’ve laughed at her nearly tripping if it wasn’t for the child threatening the slip out at any moment.

you were assisted into the backseat of your mother’s car as she drove to the hospital.

“if you could step on it, that would be great i’m kinda-” your sarcastic comment was cut off by another contraction. “nico…oh my god nico! i need to call him!”

you fished around the packed bag until you got a grip on your phone, dialing up nico as quickly as possible.

“i’m sorry but the number you reached is not available. please leave a message at the sound of the beep.”

you groaned loudly, speaking into the phone. 

“your child is currently in the process of being born, i’m at the hospital closest to the arena. please hurry.”

+++

you laid in the weirdly comfortable hospital bed, not yet fully dilated. it worked out in your favor because nico had yet to show up. you left a couple text messages and then a few more voicemails.

“i don’t know what the fuck your doing right now, but if judith is born before you get here your last name will not be on the birth certificate.” you said into the microphone, leaving the third voicemail of the day.

nico’s entire family was flying in next week and nico had made sure that he had all of next week off from any media or anything related to hockey so he could be there for the birth, but now judith was coming early and no one but your mother was here.

dr.swarn entered your hospital room again, she had arrived shortly after you because you had paged her the second you got into the car. “how are we doing momma?”

“not good, baby daddy is nowhere to be seen and i’m still not dilated enough to get this monster out of me.” you answered, setting your phone down beside you.

after a few moments dr.swarn smiled. “well i’m sorry about nico’s absence, but judith is ready to come out. you’re ready to push.”

+++

you don’t remember much, the epidural had kicked in. 

you remember holding onto your mom’s hand so hard that she yelped in pain at one point.

you remember cursing nico for not only doing this to you, but not being there for you.

you remember crying, a lot, and you remember judith crying a lot too.

you remember holding judith for the first time. both of your tears stopped for just a moment as you had skin on skin contact.

you whimpered as they took her away for cleaning, but soon she was wrapped up and you were able to hold her again. 

you remember the sound of footsteps and a thick swiss accent begging to be let into the room, continuously yelling that he was the father. your mother was quick to go into the hall and defend nico from the nurses saying he couldn’t go into the room, and as soon as nico saw you holding judith he began crying. 

“y/n i am so so sorry, i was-”

“where the hell were you!? i just had to give birth to our daughter without the father there!” you scolded the man.

“i put my phone at the bottom of my bag during locker cleanout and didn’t even think to take it out before my meeting with management. i got here as fast as i could.” nico had to catch his breath while he spoke.

“i was all alone…” you teared up, all of your emotions catching up to you again.

“i know. i know baby and i’m so sorry.” nico said, coming to your side. “can i hold her?”

you were too distracted by nico calling you baby, well more specifically by the feeling in your stomach, to answer with words. you just nodded and handed judith over. “be careful, and make sure to support her head.”

you smiled at the sight of nico holding judith, tears in his eyes, quickly taking a picture.

“were you serious about my name not being on the birth certificate?”

+++

once everything had settled down and you and nico were finally given some alone time in the hospital room you began making calls.

your mom had already messaged your families group chat, informing them of judith’s birth and sending pictures, so now you just had to call nico’s family. first was his mother, you had wanted to call her before you went into labor but it was around midnight for her and you didn’t want to wake her up.

she was so happy to hear from you, and you had never heard such an excited scream in your life when you turned the camera onto where judith was currently sleeping in your arms, nico having moved to lay behind you in the bed, his chest being your pillow.

“oh you have to call nina next, she has been so excited to become an aunt!”

that’s exactly what you two did.

facetime nina was fun, she gave you some much needed comic relief and she didn’t make any comments on yours and nico’s relationship…while he was in the room.

the second nico stepped out of the room nina was quick to ask when the wedding was.

“never gonna happen. i don’t like nico like that, and he doesn’t like me like that.” you said while putting judith back in that plastic jail they call a crib. “we’re here to talk about my gorgeous daughter who looks a little too much like nico for my liking.”

“ouch.” 

your head whipped around to see nico standing at the door. “your back early.” you were hoping he didn’t hear what you had said earlier. lately nico had been acting insanely weird everytime someone brought up your relationship with one another.

“the nurse was just outside, she’s gonna go finish the final paperwork and we’ll probably be out of here in the next hour.” nico said before turning back around. “i’m gonna go help out with the discharge papers.”

once he left you let out a groan. “nina why is your brother acting so weird?”

“what’s up with him?” she asked, curiously.

“ever since the baby shower he has just been…off. i don’t even know how to explain it.” you  started off, beginning to pace around the room. “he is so distant, and really out of it. i would think it might just be with the upsetting ending of the season, but this has been going on since before the playoffs. he keeps saying that he is sick and doesn’t want to expose me to germs, but i live with him and i haven’t even heard him sneeze from allergies.”

“do you think, and i hate to ask this, that he is having regrets about…everything?” 

you felt tears fill your eyes at her question. “yeah, i do. i asked him, and he denied it, but i can’t think of any other reason why he would distance himself from me and from judith.”

the lack of response from your friend on the phone was enough to make you start crying.

“i have my essentials packed up and my mom has a lawyer on speed dial just in case something happens…” you felt horrible having to admit this, especially to his sister. “i don’t want the lawyers, it’s my moms doing.” you felt guilty for what having a lawyer would be implying. 

“-i’m not judging you. just make sure nico doesn’t find out, i have a feeling he won’t be a fan of you even having a bag packed.” nina cut you off. “look i have to go, just keep me updated.”

you assured her you would before saying your goodbyes.

+++

“hey you just have to sign the discharge papers and the birth certificate, then we can leave.” nico said, entering the hospital room you had been in for the past couple of hours.

it had been around twenty minutes since you said goodbye to nina, deciding to finish phone calls tomorrow and instead spend your time crying while holding your crying newborn, best way to bond right?

“okay.” you sniffled. “could you put judith in her carseat? i’m gonna change.”

bond right?

“okay.” you sniffled. “could you put judith in her carseat? i’m gonna change.”

nico nodded and picked judith up from the hospital’s crib, holding her close to his chest and staring at her in awe. he couldn’t believe that this precious little girl was his.

“i’m always going to love and protect you, no matter what. your mother too. someday we’ll be a happy family, the three of us, hopeful gannon will join us sometime soon…” nico trailed off. “daddy loves you and he loves mommy too, you’re the two most important women in my life now, don’t you ever forget that…your mommy does a lot.” 

nico couldn’t finish his peptalk, or whatever one would call the conversation with his daughter, because you had stepped out of the bathroom changed and ready to go. “are you okay?” it was obvious that you were crying, you don’t know why you were even trying to hid it. 

“i’m fine, just emotional…just gave birth ya know.” you tried to laugh it off.

nico didn’t believe it. “we’ll talk when we get home.” 

+++

“why have you been acting so weird-”

“i overheard what you said-”

you and nico spoke at the same time, nico gesturing for you to go first.

“you overheard!?” you were convinced you were breaking a sweat from how panicked you had become in an instant. “look nico, the lawyer was my mother’s idea a-and i haven’t even actually talked to them yet, my mother just has them on retainer.”

“wait, what!?” nico stared at you with a look that scared you. “i was talking about what you said at your baby shower. you have a lawyer!? do you have all your things packed too so you’re ready to leave me and take judith with you!?” your silence only made nico angrier. “oh my god you do have your shit packed.”

“j-just the essentials…” you stuttered out.

“yeah because that makes a difference.” nico had distanced himself from you. “i cannot believe this.”

“i only did that stuff because for the past month it's seemed like the last thing you wanted was to be in mine and judith’s life!” your loud voices woke judith up, her loud wails only making the room more tense. you picked her up and tried to soothe her as you spoke to nico. “i’m only gonna ask you one more time nico, do you regret being with me and deciding to be in judith’s life?” 

“no. i do not regret it y/n.” nico spoke sternly.

“then why the hell are you treating us this way?” 

“because i am in love with you.”

your eyes widened in shock and you nearly lost your grip on judith from the whiplash that seemed to go through your body.

“you…what!?” 

it was essentially a stare down between the two of you, it was so uncomfortable in the room that even judith shut her mouth. 

“i have for a year now, probably longer, a-and i thought that judith would finally be my way into your heart. i thought that me being there for you, and for our daughter, would make you love me too.” nico’s tone of voice was one of a kicked puppy. 

“what are you doing?” you asked, not pleased with what he was throwing onto you. “why are you telling me this?” 

“i just needed you to know.” nico whispered his response, not expecting that reaction.

“so you’ve been in love with me for a year now?” nico nodded at your question. “so how does that add up to you treating me like some gold digging whore who got pregnant on purpose for the past month?” 

“i’m not-” nico let out a heavy sigh. “at your baby shower you said you couldn’t wait for everything to get back to how it was before the pregnancy.”

“yeah, so?”

“so!? you’ve basically been counting down the days until you’re able to fuck someone else, while i’ve been doing everything in my power to prove myself to you that i am worthy of being more than just the guy you fuck when no one else is available.” nico grew angry, if this was a cartoon steam would be coming out of his ears.

“i didn’t ask for you to do that nico! i was happy with how things were before judith, is it so wrong to want that back?” you were equally as angry. who was he to make you feel guilty about not being in love with him?

“yes it is! you are a mother now y/n, you are not allowed to be irresponsible anymore. you have to take care of two lives now-”

“are you not going to be helping me!?” you interrupted nico.

“when i can, yes i will, but i have a job that keeps me away a lot.” 

you rolled your eyes at his words. “you are not allowed to dictate my love life just because you knocked me up.”

you didn’t know if you should be thankful or agitated that judith decided to start crying at that moment, but either way you started your slight bouncing movements back up to try and settle my daughter, as odd as it was to use that term in a real scenario, and tried to find those parental instincts everyone was always talking about.

“she’s probably hungry.”

“i didn’t ask you…but thank you i will try that.”

+++

the first night with judith was rough. as much as nico wanted to, he couldn’t leave you alone and retreat off to the hughes’, both because if his mother found out, and she would, he might as well get his obituary ready in advance and he just could not handle the torture the brothers would put him through.

it was like your daughter had a sixth sense for when you were just about to fall asleep, choosing those exact moments to cry out for something. you never knew what she wanted, always going through the same order of “milk, diaper change, pacifier, cuddles, burping, scenery change, and clothing change” until one of them worked. 

nico slept on the couch, it was close enough to your room where if judith began to cry he would hear it and wake up. he was going to stay in your room with you and judith, but after the blowup of him confessing his feelings and you borderline rejecting him things it got a bit awkward. still now, almost twenty four hours later you and nico hadn’t had a proper conversation let alone spoken about what had happened. 

you were on the phone with nina for a while, then your mother, then nina and your mother, both of them giving you their advice but following it up with “just listen to your heart.”, so it was all canceled out in your mind. 

you turned to your newborn, who was staring at you from her little bed next to yours. “judith what am i supposed to do? your daddy, the one with the funny voice, is so amazing and sweet. he treats me like a princess, so why am i struggling so much to figure out what i want with him?” 

judith stared at you with those large brown eyes, a small look of adoration on her face. 

“i love you.” you whispered to her. “-and i love your father too.” 

you sat up in bed, eyes widening at your revelation. you love nico. 

“oh judith, thank you for listening to your mommy!”

you hopped out of bed, rushing into the living room. “nico! nico! nico! nic-”

“what!? what's wrong!? is judith alright!?” nico basically jumped off of the couch, worried that something had happened.

“she’s fine, everything is fine…well not everything it’s just.” you took a moment to look at nico, the lighting was horrible yet he still looked amazing. “i love you too nico.”

there was a silence that followed, it wasn’t awkward or filled with tension, just a calm silence. 

you blinked and then suddenly nico’s lips were on yours. 

the sound of judith’s cries separated your lips and caused you both to race to your bedroom.

spoiler alert: nothing was wrong with judith, she was just crying to cry. 

nico’s arms were wrapped around you and were holding you into his chest as you both laughed. 

“so what now? are we dating? getting married?” you asked, leaning your head against nico’s shoulder. 

“as much as i would love to get married right now, we’ll start with dating…so will you be my girlfriend?” nico asked, mumbling against your head and giving light kisses every now and then.

“yes, i will be your girlfriend.”

“yes!” 

you laughed at his response, judith held in both of your arms. “let’s go to bed, she’s finally asleep.”

+++

nicohischeir and y/nonfilm

nicohischier me, my girlfriend, and our beautiful babygirl. welcome to the world judith.

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jackhughes god father mode activated😎

y/nonfilm …who said you were the god father?

ninahischier best day ever!! i got a niece and a sister 🩷🩷

njdevils baby hischier alert‼️

comments on this post have been limited

+++

note: i 100% HATE this ending (the whole thing actually) it’s so rushed and just bleh, but i have literally been working on this for 71 days. SEVENTY ONE DAYS. college has been kicking my ass lately so i haven’t been very focused on writing anything. but i hope y’all still like this PLEASE DON’T LET IT FLOP i’ll cry. okay love y’all babes BYEEEE!!!

[r3medialch8os]

devastating trobed quotes (a list)

does thinking of troy and abed ever make you inexplicably upset? well, it's all in the text! aside from troy and abed serving as frequent comedic buffers, they are given some weighty emotional scenes throughout community's run. just look at the meat of these lines!

we just won't get masking tape (what a beautiful, simplistic way to portray how troy is able to think around abed's systematic manner of viewing their friendship in its beginning stages as well as an illustration of how he deals with conflict)

i love you (pure honesty in a moment of intense distress)

i know (both a reference, because it's easy, and the truth)

you don't like people who tell you what to do, and i don't wanna be one of those people (one of the more heartbreaking things said between the two of them, with troy knowing exactly abed's qualms and negative experiences with being controlled, not wanting to add to it, and still having to fall into the pattern for the sake of keeping him safe, fearing he's risking their friendship by doing so)

you weren't supposed to think those things (you of all people, the person i trust most in this whole world)

this is going to be the last thing we ever do together, we can't stop (what the actual fuck)

i know you hate when people do this in movies (whispered quietly to abed by troy, without anyone else hearing, one of the most romantic, intimate lines in the whole show, argue with the wall)

you're gonna have to trust that you're gonna have to trust me (said to someone with severe trust issues, and for good reasons, just an incredible invocation of the bond they have)

for the first time in my long history of being locked inside things, i knew someone would come (as someone who was bullied in high school, this line hits so fucking hard, aren't we all waiting on this moment?)

you were out there somewhere, and you weren't looking for me? (devastating in a way where i simply cannot believe they throw words like these around casually)

the floor can't be lava forever, the game's gotta end (troy, perpetually insistent on indulging abed, on letting him do his thing, on enjoying his imagination, has to be the one to bring him back to reality this time, and even if he tries to do it as gentle as possible, it will never not rip my fucking heart out)

it's not a game for me troy. i'm seeing real lava because you're leaving, it's embarrassing. i don't wanna be crazy but i am crazy so i made a game that made you and everyone else see what i see. i don't want it to be there either, i swear. i want you to be able to leave but i don't think the lava goes away until you stop leaving (fuck it, i'm putting the whole thing, not a lot makes me cry but abed so clearly experiencing disillusion and trying to assuage troy while also communicating to him how hard it is to accept him leaving all with an air of embarrassment and hopelessness and desperation will do it for me, thank you very much)

i'm not leaving, okay? i promise. the floor's not lava now, just give me your hand (all i can say is that i bet it tore abed to pieces hearing these words)

i think i might be able to let troy go now (the way he says it too)

when i cloned you i had to patch some missing parts of your dna with genes from a homing pigeon. you may notice side effects like a compulsion to come back (in other words, i am in love with you and i never found the right time to say it)

[waechan]

nct dream hyung line; small moments

just little moments with each member.

fluff, slight angst (mostly cute)

⋆.˚

lee mark:

you two have been best friends since birth

he knows everything about you, and you know everything about him

he has a soft spot for you, confessed when you found him pacing at your doorstep one day with flowers

pretty quiet at school, sorta nerdy, but cute nerdy!

likes computers, plays basketball for fun

always sends you game pigeon as an excuse to develop conversation (even though you two are already dating)

plays guitar for you to help you fall asleep

you sing along with him sometimes and he always stares at you, smiling softly

works at his friends moms daycare and helps check the kids in and out

its late, 1 in the morning, and he calls you

you pickup, his voice is groggy

"can you come over?"

"of course."

you're there in an instant, you open the door, and you see him standing there in his pjs, looking lost

immediately you walk over, hug him tight, and he holds you, refusing to let go

"what's wrong?"

"i don't know what i'd do without you."

it's all he says, and it's all he needs to say.

"i love you too, mark."

2. huang renjun:

he was your tutor, and hated you, actually.

well, before you two started dating. and he fell for you without realizing. and you made him confess because you were tired of him being stubborn.

you were social, he wasn't

that's really all there was to it

you two basically competed for teachers pet privileges

it didn't start out that way, but you two got competitive for no reason

obviously he was smarter than you

"can you just shut up and listen to me for once?"

"can you just man up and admit you have feelings for me?"

yep, that's how it went.

he blushed

stumbled over his words.

you kissed him

he fell even harder.

little bickering moments like this always reoccurred in your lives, and sometimes people were convinced you actually hated each other

one day the two of you hang out with some of your mutual friends

you leave the cafe after having an intense debate about whether or not mint chocolate chip ice cream is overrated or not, leaving your friends behind after you had to go

"honestly, it tastes like toothpaste."

"can you just agree with your girlfriend? that's all there is to it."

he holds your hand and kisses the back of it as the two of you walk back, and nods

"yes maam."

3. lee jeno:

he was every girls dream

how did you manage to end up with someone like him?

by far the most popular guy at your school

everyone he looked at managed to become flustered

you were the sweet, yet quiet girl in the back

he still noticed you, every day he would look back at you without you noticing

one day, you were having a hard day

you just wanted to go home, wanted to sleep, wanted to forget about all the events that had happened prior which took a negative toll on your health

you see a piece of paper fall on your desk and the silhouette of jeno's shadow passes by

you look up and see him staring at you across the room

he nods

"open it." he mouths, his eye smile appears

you do so, and you immediately smile as you see what's inside

"turn that smile upside down!"

god, of course he had one chance and messed it up. it was so cliche, yet so jeno

and you didn't care that it was a bit on the cheesy side

you walk by him at the end of class

"i think you meant frown?" he gives you a look of confusion.

"wha- oh. oh shit."

popular jock, quiet girl. observer, and recipient.

sometimes though he needs help from you too

one night he stops by without even telling you

he walks through the door, hugs you, and pulls you into the living room

"nap time. please." he sounded so tired, so done.

you chuckle.

angel sent from above. that's what he was.

4. lee haechan:

best friends older brother

shouldnt even be an option tbh

but haechan was haechan, his teasing made you blush, his small acts of care for you never went unnoticed

the three of you went to a cafe

your best friend ordered, then went to the restroom

you ordered your drink

he pushed you to the side

ordered his drink as well

paid for you like nothing happened

"haechan you really didn't have to-"

he puts a finger to his lips as his eyes twinkle, and he smiles gently at you

"i wanted to"

fast forward

you're official and he will not leave your side

always attached to you, in public he glares at any guy who stares at you for a millisecond too long

you walk into a clothing store and the worker smiles at you

"hi, do you need help finding anything?"

haechan pops out of nowhere and grabs your hand

"uh, no, i think we're good, thanks."

he pulls you away immediately

"what was that for??? he was just asking for help..." you whine

"nuh uh, no he wasn't. i know how guys work."

you chuckle. just go with it.

whatever makes him happy.

⋆.˚

let me know if you want the maknae line version! it's my first post on tumblr:) i am taking suggestions as well

[soubi122]

How Long? PT 8 - Finale

All, this was a rollercoaster of emotions - thank you so much for your support and patience with this series.

WARNINGS: Manipulation, mentions of pregnancy, pregnancy, fear, angst, anxiety, suggestive, mentions of death/murder, cheating, overall toxic behavior, destructive behavior, smut, fluff- if I missed anything in the warnings I'm sorry!

Homecoming

Arriving back home, you began to plan out your revenge. How could you make him hurt as much as he’s hurt you? Could you risk setting up one of his little sidechicks to clash with his pregnant mistress and make everything come crashing down. He had plenty to choose from. Like vultures they came in to see what scraps they could get after your death. It would be risky and you would need to ask Mikey for permission, with you being back in Tokyo - your life was no longer yours. 

The sound of his phone vibrating only made you even more annoyed. You were so close to smashing it against a wall but you stopped yourself, you couldn’t destroy your evidence. Without a moment to spare, you began to print his messages, pictures included. Ugh, it made you sick to your stomach having to read these things again. Seeing all the women he was messing with and worst of all - the bullshit ‘I love yous’ that he would say. I love you. Those words meant nothing to him, he oh so casually threw them around to these women. It was like throwing bread crumbs to pigeons. They were eating that shit up and not even second guessing it.

After about an hour of printing, taping papers to the wall and making a mess out of Mikey's living room - you decided to take a break. Sprawled out on the floor, you remained quiet and stared at the ceiling for what felt like an eternity. Your vision began to get blurry and the throbbing in your chest wouldn't cease. It got worse and worse with each passing second, you ended up curling up on the floor and crying your little heart out. Even though you already made up your mind, it was still hard to get over it. The betrayal, the lies, the pain, everything… It was hitting you all at once. Ran always found a way to break you. The echoes of your cries reached Mikey as he walked through the doorway. Without hesitation he bolted to where you were. “Angel? What hap…pened?” He paused and looked around his living room. The explicit content made him feel sick. Turning to look at you on the floor, he reached over to pick you up and cradled you in his arms. Your sobs and hiccups made a pang in his chest. He hated seeing you like this, you didn't deserve any of this. 

Softly speaking and leaning in to place a kiss on your forehead, Mikey asked you to explain. After spilling your heart out to him, he embraced you tighter and apologized to you. He should have stayed with you last night but already warned you not to leave the house again. “Manjiro…I feel like I never really knew him.” You cry and bury yourself in his chest. All his bullshit ended up swallowing you whole. “I don’t know who I fell in love with….” You say softly into his chest. The poison honied tone could have made Mikey set the world on fire for you. “We’ll figure this out.” He says softly and places a kiss on your forehead. A simple well placed hand on your belly made Manjiro bite the inside of his cheek, this gesture - did you really want…one? Would you want one with him or was this a breaking point for you? 

*meanwhile*

Ran and the others continued their plans on how to contain the hellfire that was unleashed amongst Bonten. The master of keeping tabs of everyone (Sanzu), was able to track down every single person who the pregnant woman was in touch with. Kokonoi traced all call records and texts between the woman and her contacts - all her information was at their fingertips. “Remember, this needs to be a covert operation.” Kakucho said before they began hunting down all of her contacts. Needless to say, Ran was in charge of silencing his mistress. 

On the way home, Ran’s hands began to tremble - he was letting this get the better of him. The thoughts racing inside his head were making it difficult to focus on the road ahead. His car’s center console alerted him of an incoming phone call. It made his stomach drop, speak of the devil. He thought to himself when he read the caller ID. Picking up the call and answering with a dry Hello, he waited for her squeaky little voice to say babe. It was silent, he got a little irritated and was about to call out again but the sound of someone breathing heavily and sniffles made his ears perk up. “(M/N)? Oi?! Can you hear me?” He yelled and pulled over to the side of the highway. “Ran… come home - now!” Her voice was full of panic and fear. “Shit… I'm almost there.” He said and sped down the highway. Ran couldn’t afford to have her think he didn’t care about her, not when she held so much leverage against him. But what could have her all shaken up?

When he finally made it home, he was surprised to see his pregnant mistress standing by the doorway. She had tears in her eyes and the moment she saw him, she threw herself into his arms, crying and stuttering over her words. “W-who could have d-done this?” She cried and clung to him. Ran’s head turned to look through the doorway and his stomach dropped. His home was a disaster. Broken glass, torn papers, clothes and various items scattered everywhere. Was there really someone stupid enough to try and rob/trash the home of a Bonten executive? To make matters worse, what if your pregnant mistress was there at the time this took place? They would have jeopardized his plan to silence her. “Stay here.” He instructed her and walked inside. Everything was in disarray, there was no place in his home that wasn’t fucked with. Walking inside his bedroom, he saw that all his belongings were either broken or torn. What really set him off was seeing his picture frame shattered - the proposal photo of you and him was shredded. He felt his blood boil. Something caught his eye, his baton was on the floor amongst the destroyed belongings. This was personal, this was done by someone who knew of where his momentous were hidden. There were only three people in the world that knew where he kept that thing. You, Rindou and his pregnant mistress. There was no way it was Rindou as he was with Ran the entire time, it sure as hell couldn’t have been you as you were taken by Mikey and were to remain hidden until all this blows over. The only person was…her. 

To make matters worse, she was always jealous of you and begged him to get rid of your photo - she couldn’t stand the sight of it. Jealousy on a woman was always an ugly thing to him. Even if he was the cause of it. Funny how he finds jealousy appalling and yet he had the gull to come at you like that back home. Ripping up the photo seemed like something she would do. Could it have been possible that she found out about your return? Rumors could have spread the moment Ran departed for Wakkanai. She always kept tabs with the underlings, so hearing that Ran disappeared after a mysterious revelation - it wouldn’t surprise him that she knew. All fingers pointed in her direction. Walking out of his penthouse, he kept a calm demeanor and only consoled his mistress. She was genuinely terrified but all he could see was red. Playing the victim and pretending to be innocent, it suited her. “Ran, could someone be after our baby?”  She cried pathetically, in his eyes. “No, no sweetheart - unless, you told everyone already about it?” He said in a low sweet tone, the number one rule in the underground was to keep your family affairs out of the picture. She stuttered and cried even louder. “I’m so sorry, I told a few friends! I was so excited and happy to become a mother.” She blurts out and pouts. They both knew that she fucked up, it puts not only the baby at risk but it also puts Ran at risk. 

“Let’s go back to the office, you’ll be safe there…” He said and pulled her in close, the fake affections were so perfect that she didn’t suspect the real danger she was in. He was trying his hardest not to choke the life out of her. The poor girl has no idea that the devil has other plans for her. 

Bringing her back to the office, he sat her down and was being sweet to her. Coddling her and comforting her, trying to ease her worries. He felt disgusted with himself. (oh how the tables have turned) Dealing with a pregnant woman was overwhelming for him, especially when it wasn’t someone he loved. With a seductive pout, she asked Ran for a kiss - he gave it to her. It tasted bitter to him as he closed his eyes. The lips he’s kissed often now felt foreign, they felt like sandpaper against his and he compared her to you. Thinking about how your lips were soft and plush, your sweet taste and the sound of your voice. You were everything to him, you controlled his heart and had a hold on him like no other - Ran lost himself in you and ended up deepening the kiss with his mistress. She wrapped her arms around his neck and proceeded to return his misguided affection. He put his hand against her belly and caressed it, remembering you on the airplane holding that child - it made his chest hurt. He wanted nothing more than for you to carry his child. To make him a father and give him a new reason to live. With a breathy moan, Ran spoke without thinking - “Fuck… I love you so much.” This made his mistress elated, “I love you too, Ran.” This continued for several minutes until Rindou walked through his office door, “What the hell happened?” It made Ran snap out of his delusion and realize who was in front of him. He felt his heart drop. He slowly pulled away from her, making it almost seem as if he’s saddened to go. The moment he walked out the door, he made a beeline towards the men’s bathroom and rinsed his mouth. Rindou trailed behind him and tore him a new one. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” He shoved Ran and pinned him against the wall by his collar. For Rindou to go against his elder brother, it was some serious shit. “Get your shit together and make your fucking choice!” He almost snarled at Ran. The younger Haitani couldn’t stand to see Ran in this pathetic state, he could see cracks in his brother's face and only prayed that he wouldn’t crumble. The realization of his actions hit Ran like a truck, he told her he loved her. He shared emotions meant for someone else. Rindou released his brother and told him to take a few minutes to breathe and focus on eliminating the current problem. Ran felt like vomiting, anguish was eating away at him and he couldn't hold it in. Confusion plagued his mind and didn’t know left from right. He proceeded to throw up and wished you were here to assuage him. He was losing his mind.

“Did anyone say anything when I left Tokyo?” Ran asked his brother, he was pensive. He needed to formulate some sort of plan before walking back into the office. The last thing he wanted was for his mistress to catch wind of the real reason as to why she was brought to headquarters. Rindou gave him the rundown of everything that happened while he was gone. Rumors were quick to spread but only the main 8 knew the actual truth of you being alive, Mikey was quick to apprehend those who were linked to the underling that brought Ran your photo. The one thing that they were able to confirm was that the underling was not alone when he came across your photo. Whether or not it was too late to confirm how much information was leaked, no one knew. Ran needed to be on his toes around his mistress.

After about fifteen minutes, he straightened up and headed back to his office. "Baby, is everything ok?" She asked him and was about to stand up but he stuck his hand out and gestured for her to remain seated. “Who did you tell exactly and who knows that you've been staying at my place? We need to know to make sure that you and the baby will be safe.” Ran's words were laced with concern and had a hint of warmth in them. Maybe with enough sweetness she'll fess up about the incident at his apartment. “Please…” Oh how his honeyed tone of voice makes all the women fall. Even you at some point. At first she was hesitant about speaking, she didn’t want him to kill her friends and back ups. She fiddled with her hands and pouted as she remained silent and kept her head down. “Is there something you’re hiding from me?” His tone was a little cold and she immediately raised her head in a panic. The look on her face reflected nothing but fear. Maybe she said something more about the pregnancy, something that he has yet to find out. “You know the type of enemies we have. Do you want them to kill our baby?”  He asked in a low tone. 

She began to squirm in her seat and sniffle, bingo… It was her turn to talk. “Ran, I swear I didn’t mean it. I just didn’t want you to deny our baby!” He didn’t flinch, he knew he was right about her and the incident involving his home. “Explain. Now…” His mistress cracked like an egg and began to explain to him about her potential blackmailing. Yes, she found out about his trip to Wakkanai and why. Her jealousy took it too far and she didn’t want her place to be taken again. “I didn’t think that anyone would betray me like this! I was scared you’d leave me. You’d leave me for a woman who looks like (Y/N)...I know you would.” With every word she spewed, Ran was feeling his fingers twitch, how could she be this stupid? The consequences of jeopardizing a Bonten member are dire - death would have been dealt by his own hands. “I’m begging you, please - stay with me. I will do better. I won’t be able to replace her, I know that but please… give our baby a chance.” His mistress was holding her belly and on her knees at this point, begging him to stay with her. It made Ran sick. 

He had no choice but to keep her close to him, though he could not overlook her destroying his home - he needed to pretend that he accepts her and the baby. “I’ll get us a new place to stay for now - you will need to remain there and do not leave that apartment no matter what. You painted a target on your back by announcing your pregnancy. You cannot trust anyone, do you understand?” Ran signed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Making the arrangements should have been simple but he had a lot to try and salvage from his home. 

He cleared this decision with Kokonoi, no one else was to know of her location. By the end of the night, he had already sent his mistress to the new apartment and got some of her things settled there. She was foolish enough to surrender her two phones to Ran in place of a new one that only had Bonten’s contact information on it. She pretty much sent her friends to an early grave - they were being executed for the right and wrong reasons. She had no idea of what Ran was really accusing her of. 

By the end of the next day, Ran had already cleared out his penthouse with the help of a cleanup crew and was still as blind as ever. He didn't notice his extra mobile device missing, either that or he figured that she destroyed it and it got tossed with the rest of his now useless belongings. The plan proceeded in full force, the hunt was on for all her contacts and Ran continued his act. Multiple calls were made to him about the incident at his apartment. Though the rest of the group was against shielding his mistress, they understood that it needed to be done until they eliminated all threats. “I understand, please - just don’t mention any of this to (Y/N).” Ran said over the phone as he stood in his empty penthouse. Memories of his past flooded his head… Seeing you dance across the kitchen as you cooked or when you cleaned, he wanted it back. Your sweet smile was all he used to look forward to when coming home. Now, he can't even look at you without feeling guilty about everything he's done. “I don't know how long you'll be able to keep her in the dark… But she will find out and when he does - you'll lose her.” Takeomi lectured Ran. Though he didn’t need to be reminded, he accepted Takeomi’s advice. 

Several days later, Bonten had already rounded up more than half of the mistress's contacts that knew about her pregnancy. The pile of corpses only made them much more fearsome than the authorities could handle. Under the guise of 'for our baby' excuse, Ran tried to keep her disconnected from the world. He didn't allow her to call anyone, message anyone or even reach out to anyone on social media. All her phone activity was monitored and any attempt to reach out to anyone other than Ran was alerted to Bonten headquarters. His mistress was getting restless from staying in the one bedroom apartment that Ran rarely visited. When he did visit, it was only for an hour or two, it was the obligatory check-in. When he noticed her disappointment, he would bring her flowers or snacks to try and keep her as complacent as possible. His mind was so focused on her that he felt as if he was forgetting something. 

“Ran, can we go out somewhere, please?” She pouted and wrapped her arms around him. Her belly was starting to get in the way of her pressing her whole body against him. “I don’t think it’s a good idea-” He began to respond but was cut off by her pouting even more and burying herself into his chest. “I feel like I’m going insane in this apartment.” Ran knew he had to keep her happy until the final contact was tracked down. With a heavy sigh, he agreed and let her decide where she wanted to go. She wanted something sweet and they decided to visit a crepe shop. That was the only thing she shared with you, your sweet tooth. 

*back at Mikey’s* 

“Angel, he thinks his mistress was the one who trashed his home. You’re kind of off the hook…” Mikey says and gives you a pat on the head as you remain seated on the couch. You smiled softly, but there was emptiness in your eyes. You wanted to go home already, you missed your cozy home, your cafe and the cool ocean air nipping at your cheeks in the morning. “Are you going to tell him that you know?” Mikey asked, snapping you out of your daze. You felt heat creep up your cheeks, you were angry, embarrassed and hurt. Overhearing about Ran hiding his mistress and giving her an apartment, you expected nothing and yet you were still disappointed with him. He hadn’t checked in with you since that day you left the office. Ran completely forgot about you, he didn't even bother using Mikey as a messenger between the two of you. 

The days spent at Mikey’s you either slept on the couch or in his bed. Manjiro would come home and carry you to bed if you were asleep on the couch. He'd take any opportunity to get close to you without making it too obvious. However, your little loungewear had him palming himself at night or locking himself away in another room, quietly relieving his tension. It felt like old times again but he refused to do anything that could make you uncomfortable. Sometimes all you need is a single spark to set plans in motion. If all goes the way it’s supposed to, he might not have a chance to tell you how he really feels. 

With a light kiss on your forehead, Mikey prepared to leave for the office and stood up. Kokonoi needed him to sign off on a few things and also review the ongoing situation with Ran. “Can I count on you to be here before midnight?” You ask and look up at him, your cute little doe eyes made Mikey almost lose his composure. How could an innocent gesture make his member throb and twitch? This angle looked rather lewd in his eyes. He felt his heart rate spike and his mouth was salivating. All he needed was to picture his cock in your mouth and - “Mikey?” You say his name and he comes back to reality. There was an intense look in his eyes. “Hmm? Yes?” He responds with a bit of shyness. “Is there something wrong?” Shaking his head no, he swipes his thumb on your lower lip and begins to head out the door. He left you dumbfounded and your heart skipped a beat. That look in his eyes was similar to that night, only this time you are sober to see through it and understand his hunger. 

A few hours after his leave, you began to get restless and peckish. Mikey didn’t really have a lot of food at home and you haven’t left his place since - you had no choice but to step out. Easily, you can order takeout but with the cloud looming over your head, you wanted to see if a walk could make it go away. Taking precautions as always, you wore Mikey’s baggy clothes, a face mask and a hoodie. The hood was over your head and helped cover your eyes, making it harder for people to see your face. I know I promised to stay inside but I feel like I’m losing my mind. It’s just like the first time. You think to yourself and walk out the door. Taking the longest and most relaxing walk down the streets, your mind started to feel at ease. Stopping by a small crepe shop, you ordered a snack and made your way to a park that had a beautiful pond in the center. It was the Shibuya botanical garden, there was no better place to come and relax, especially by the pond. It’s not the ocean but it’s still a beautiful view. Very few people were here during the weekday, it made it so much easier to just take in the sights and light earthy scent. 

The soft cool breeze had you inhaling deeply and exhaling in bliss. Your head almost felt fuzzy, it was serene and almost quiet. Closing your eyes, you lean back into the bench and just let go of your worries. Soon this would all be over, you could go home and go back to the life you left behind. You wanted nothing more than to sink your teeth into a sandwich and a hot cappuccino, your cafe’s pastries also crossed your mind and you felt homesick. Everything started to look rather clear, that is until - “Ran, look at this! It’s beautiful.” The familiar voice pierced your ears, you opened your eyes and sat up immediately. The voice was distant but close enough for you to hear, your eyes were darting around behind you and your heart began to pound inside your chest. You were praying that it was just your imagination. Soon the voice spoke again, “Look! It’s a family of ducks, they have a baby - just like we will soon.” Her tone was warm and full of love, she was happy. Turning to your left, you saw what you wished you didn’t. It was Ran and his pregnant mistress - they were at a distance but you recognized those purple strands anywhere. They were a few benches away from you. 

You felt your heart drop to your stomach. His right arm was wrapped around her and his left hand was caressing her belly. The sweet smiles on their faces felt like a slap to the face. Their conversation carried on as if the world revolved around them and there was no one else there. Try as you might, you couldn’t hold back the tears that stung your eyes. You were preparing to leave him, yes but you never imagined seeing him with her. Not like this, not like a beautiful loving couple expecting their first child. The fire burning inside your chest only made it hurt even more, it felt like he took a knife and stabbed you with it. You overhear him say, “I’m sure our baby will be just as beautiful.” He says and cups her face, bringing her into a tender kiss, making her back face you. He looked genuinely content and his body language suggested he made his decision. He was going to keep his mistress and the baby at his side. When he pulled away, he said something - something that plunged the knife even further into your chest. I love you. You didn’t have to hear it to know, the way his lips mouthed those words…it was as clear as day. 

Keeping your hood on, you removed the face mask so that your face could be seen. You wanted him to notice you. Standing up to walk in his direction, you looked straight at him and waited for your eyes to connect. Too lost in his own little charade, he didn’t notice you until it was too late, when he looked up - he froze. You just passed them and continued walking, the look in your eyes made him feel fear for the first time in his life. It was intense and it looked like everything was happening in slow motion. He felt a lump in his throat and his pulse quickened. He looked visibly distraught. “Ran? What’s wrong?” His mistress said and cupped his cheek. He felt his world tip on its axis and he felt as if he couldn’t breathe. There was no mending the threads that unraveled. 

His next move made your blood boil even more, he snatched your wrist and yanked it towards him. “Baby, wait!” His mistress was caught off guard with his actions, who the fuck was he calling baby? When she leaned to the side to see who he was talking to, her expression dropped - it’s as if she saw a ghost. “Y-you… you’re alive?” She stuttered and held her belly in a protective manner. Your eyes never left Ran, the fire in them was smoldering him and he had nowhere to hide from it. “T-This isn’t what you think!” The loud sound of a smack made his mistress flinch. “Fuck you Haitani…” You spat and pulled away from him. Twice he’s felt the sting of your hand and it never got any easier. “He’s all yours…congratulations.” You say coldly and turn to leave. Behind you, you could hear him taking a step forward only to stop when his mistress screams his name. 

He was caught between a rock and a hard place. If he leaves now, she will not hesitate to make calls or scream out for help and draw attention. Bonten was also on the line. If he stays, he loses you forever. The pain in his chest only made it harder as you continued to walk away. He never thought…well that’s the thing - he never thinks. He didn’t think he was going to get caught, not after being so close to rounding up all his mistresses contacts. He would have gotten rid of her and had you in his arms. A Haitani always gets what he wants but this time the gods put a stop to their reign of ignorance. Clenching his fists, he turns his back on you. He made the hardest choice in his life, a choice that severed your ties for good.

Immediately heading back to Mikey’s place, you packed up what you could and booked the first flight back home to Wakkanai. There were no second thoughts and you couldn’t take it anymore. You didn’t know if it was heartbreak or disappointment. You thanked the undergods that you were able to book the last flight of the day. The flight leaves in 5 hours, it was enough time to make it to the airport and through check out. You could feel your hands shaking as you made your way out the door and into a cab, the driver looked rather concerned. “Are you alright?” His soft tone made you bite back tears. “Oh, yes. It just feels bittersweet to go home.” You say and smile, trying to hide the maelstrom of emotions bubbling inside you. The ride carried on in silence. Looking out the window, you could only see those images flash in your mind. His arms around her and caressing her belly, you felt nauseous and disgusted with yourself. He made ‘love’ to you - he said he wanted a family with you when he already had started a family with another woman. Your head kept pounding and pounding, trying to massage your temples didn’t help - it felt like your skull was about to crack. “I know I’m not supposed to do this but, here. Please take this.” The driver says and hands you a small paper pouch. It was migraine medicine, the strong stuff too - this man was an angel. Taking the medication from between the slit in the divider - you thanked him and swallowed the pills. 

Once at the airport - you thanked him, paid and left him a hefty tip. What he said next made you pause, “Whatever you’re going through, I wish you the best. Just know you’re not alone.” It made you think about the one person who never failed you. Manjiro. You smiled and thanked him once more before walking away. 

At the counter, you present your ticket and finish the check in process. The moment you passed through airport security, you felt your phone vibrate - it was an unknown number. Ignoring it, you put your phone on airplane mode and sit in the waiting area until it’s time to board. Life really had it out for you, there were a few pregnant women or families with kids. Could it be any more obvious that life with a family would be impossible for you? After this, you didn’t want to open your heart again nor fall in love again. The taste of freedom was bitter.

Nothing echoed louder than the announcer calling out boarding numbers. It spooked you and made you jump, you were so lost in thought, that you weren’t really paying attention to your surroundings as much. You had to drown out the moms, the kids, the infants… it all made your skin crawl. Taking your place, you were grateful that you were placed all the way in the back and away from everyone. It wasn’t a full flight so your row was empty. When all lights dimmed, you laid your head back and felt your ears pop. The attendants would ask you every now and then if you needed anything as you looked dazed and your eyes were glossy. You would smile and respond softly, “Yes, I’m alright - it’s just an emotional homecoming.” It was a half truth but one that allowed you to keep the attendants from prying too much. 

The two hour flight felt like an eternity. While the plane was in taxi, you removed your phone from airplane mode - it stayed quiet for a total of 45 seconds before it kept buzzing non stop. The slew notifications wouldn’t stop, you were getting messages from Mikey and unknown numbers. You didn’t have the heart to open any of the messages, not at least until you got home - breaking down in public was not something you wanted. The cab ride was quick and quiet, the people on this side of the island kept to themselves. Stepping foot inside your home, you threw yourself on the couch and broke down. At this point, you didn’t know what you were crying for anymore. Was it over Ran, was it out of frustration, self pity or just everything all together? It felt like you had no more tears left after a good thirty minutes of crying. You were screaming into the couch pillows and clutching your chest. Nothing you did made sense anymore. Should you have gone to Bonten headquarters to tell Mikey? Should you have just stayed at his place until he came back and then asked for permission to leave? Would Ran have kept you waiting until it was too late? All the questions swirled inside your head and you felt like you were drowning. Your body was having a full blown panic attack when you looked at the messages from Mikey. Words could not describe his responses. His messages were as follows:

Thursday at 1236. From Manjiro: Did you book a flight back home?! The credit card pinged a large transaction with an airline. End.

Thursday at 1246. From Manjiro:  Where the hell are you? End. Thursday at 1301. From Manjiro: (Y/N), I’m begging you - pick up the damn phone. End. Thursday at 1305. From Manjiro: Angel, you need to tell me what’s going on. Please. End. Thursday at 1341. From Manjiro: I told you not to leave the house for a reason. Ran just came into the office with his pathetic heart in his hands. End. Thursday at 1403. From Manjiro: You should have come to me first… End. Thursday at 1459. From Manjiro: I know by the time you open these messages - you will probably already be home. Please, just call me when you can so that I know you’re alright. End.

Laying on that couch staring at the ceiling after your breakdown, your body felt numb. Your vision was coming in and out of focus, your hearing would fade in and out and your limbs felt like lead. Something inside you was screaming that you betrayed Manjiro. He trusted you and yet you didn’t even bother trying to confide in him. Everything was twisted and distorted in your eyes. Before you could even fade into the abyss, you heard your phone ping one more time. It was the unknown number and you didn’t even bother to open the messages - not until you looked closer at the phone number did you realize it was Ran’s phone number. The abyss swallowed you whole and you passed out on the couch - dropping the phone on the floor and could hear nothing more than your heart slowly beating. 

Morning came and the slivers of sunlight slowly crawled their way through your blinds. The sounds of the waves crashing against the rocks at a distance was like a lullaby that you couldn’t help but welcome. No more cars zooming and honking, no sirens and no people. Tokyo couldn’t compare to your little treasure cove. However, the realization of having to abandon this home came crashing down on you. Now that Ran knows where you are - what’s stopping him from coming here again? Hoping into the shower, you washed up and let the hot water cleanse your skin - almost burning away Ran’s touch. When the burn became too much, you stepped out and wrapped yourself in a towel - still dazed and confused. You didn’t know what you were doing anymore. Could you even afford to start over without Manjiro’s help? 

Walking into your bedroom, you stripped your bed of the sullied bedsheets. Ran’s cologne lingered in the sheets - fuck he stained anything he touched. When your bed had fresh sheets, you threw yourself face first into the mattress - his scent was gone. Reaching for your phone, you scroll to find Mikey’s name in your contacts and hesitate to call him. You were afraid of what he might say. You shut your eyes and tapped the call button and waited for him to answer. The lump in your throat was making it hard to swallow and you felt your hands tremble. It didn’t even take one ring before he picked up your call. “Angel?” His voice was as sweet as honey and you couldn’t help but feel tears prick your eyes. “Manjiro…I’m so sorry.” You sniffle and repeat your apology. “I’m sorry, I just-” He cut you off and spoke while keeping a sweet tone. “Can you explain everything to me after you open the door?” Huh? Your mind short circuited for a moment. “W-What?” You stutter your response and sit up. “I said open the door, (Y/N).” He chuckles and knocks on the door. The knock echoed in your ears and you ran to the door, swinging it open rather violently in disbelief.  

Standing on the other side was Manjiro. His soft smile made your knees weak and you dropped down, still in disbelief that he was standing here. You waited for three years for him to come see you and now he’s here. Though the circumstances could be better - he was here for you. Picking you up off the floor, he pulled you in and closed the door behind him. Burying your face into his chest, you sob and clutch his jacket. Between sobs you spoke, “Tell me this isn’t a dream…you’re here.” It felt too good to be true. When he pulled away to cup your face, you could see the pain in his eyes. “You left without saying anything…” He leaned in and brushed his lips against yours. His breath fanned your lips and he dove straight into them when you hiccuped. You began to walk backwards, guiding him towards your bedroom, there was fear inside you. You wanted to make sure that he was as far away from the door as possible, you were scared he’d leave.

He made Ran’s bitter taste go away. Plush lips continued to kiss you and ease your mind. He wasn’t upset nor reprimanding you. “Manjiro, I'm so sorry.” You cry and wipe the tears from your eyes. Admitting that you were out of line was hard, you were so angry that you couldn't see past his concern. In a way he felt that you might take his visit the wrong way and say that he was taking advantage of your damaged state. But you weren’t just damaged goods, you were human, a woman that deserved the world and more. If Ran couldn’t be man enough to tell you the truth about the pregnancy and ended up hurting you more than what he already has - maybe you would close your heart and no longer let anyone in. Mikey decided to risk it at all and depart Tokyo - he didn’t care how it looked to anyone else. Sanzu already knew, there was no hiding it from him anymore. Not when Manjiro asked Kokonoi to find him the next flight to Wakkanai. He gave no explanation when asked why he’s giving chase to someone who was meant to be already dead. However, he did tear Ran a new one before he left. 

You spoke and blurted out all the things that were ringing inside your head. “I flinched…I fucking flinched and he enjoyed every second seeing me squirm.” He let you continue your rant. “You must think I’m pathetic for allowing myself to falter not once, not twice but thrice.” He understood your position and also the risk you were taking when he gave the order to come back to Tokyo. However, he miscalculated Ran’s fuck up. The pregnancy threw everyone for a loop. “Leaving him was the best thing you could have done.” He tries to reassure you. No, Ran left you for a second time. He let you go, all you did was sit and wait patiently for him. “He’s a fool, even I could have told you that.” Mikey’s words rang true. He felt your body tense up and hiccup, you were crying. 

On the island, you thought things would have been different, that Ran would have changed - he was desperate enough to come find you. You thought it was out of love, but it wasn’t. He was only trying to convince you to love him again so that he could get even with you. His ego was bruised and he wanted nothing more than to put you in your place. You thought maybe, just maybe, that Ran would have at least lived a better life after your so-called death. Perhaps it would be a wake up call or something. Mikey gave you an update not long after you left for Wakkanai - Ran was distraught and hurting. Your death affected him more than you thought. All updates about Ran stopped after you begged Mikey not to talk about him anymore. Things just never worked in your favor. Stumbling upon his other women, the pregnancy and now his intimate moment with his mistress - you felt disgusting, you felt used and dirty. 

Looking up at him you realized that Manjiro gave you everything you ever wanted - love, affection, loyalty, sincerity and a sense of security. Not once has he ever given you a reason to distrust him or doubt your feelings for him. Even now, knowing that Ran claimed your body, he hasn’t left your side and hasn’t blamed you for being human. 

An overwhelming sense of longing and desire took over, making you guide Mikey to the edge of the bed, pushing him into it and straddling his lap. “A-angel…what are you-” He stuttered and couldn’t even finish asking his question when you cut him off by kissing him. Your tongue darted into his mouth and dominated him. He tried to get you to stop so that he could catch his breath, but you were making his mind go blank. It's as if you latched on to him for dear life and didn't want to let go. When he managed to get some space in between the two of you, you felt pain. Plaguing your very thoughts were images of Ran with other women, the woman who was expecting his child, the very moment he made love to you on Wakkanai… It burned. You wanted to get rid of Ran's touch and his memory, and there was only one way how. “...help me.” You whisper into his lips, breath shaky and heart pounding - your plea broke his heart. You were so desperate, you'd even sell your soul to the devil himself to get rid of Ran's memory. 

How could he deny your cry for help? Without hesitation, he rolled you over and devoured your neck - giving you open mouth kisses, bites and hickeys. No one else mattered at this point in time. If this is what you wanted then he will give it to you. Mikey sat up and looked into your eyes, the light was fading and he couldn't have that. “I’ll take care of you… I’ll love you and give you anything and everything…” He spoke with a bit of worry on his tongue. Your response would either make or break him, it was a confession. Taking in a deep breath and placing your hands over your heart you exhale slowly. “You’re the only one who can fix my heart, Manjiro.” Your words not only gave him the green light, but they also meant that you were giving yourself to him. 

Mikey removed your towel and drank in your nude figure, he ran his calloused hands on your chest relishing in the softness of your skin. Your body was heaven to him, you were beautiful and seeing you so vulnerable - he knew you needed him. His hands roughly rolled your nipple between his fingers, it made you mewl and screw your eyes shut. Your moans made his member throb uncontrollably, three years of waiting - it was too much. Dipping down to place his mouth on your nipple, he trailed his hand lower to your honeypot and into your wet folds. The warmth had him on cloud 9. Sucking and biting your nipple, he roughly massaged your clit and played with the slick that was pooling. Without warning, he thrusted two fingers in your core and made your back arch like a cat. His thick fingers were stretching you out and hitting that spongy spot that had you drooling like a whore in heat. 

“Mhn…Manjiro-fuck fuck!” You moan loudly and grip the back of his head. The silver stands were now tangled between your fingers, he enjoyed having you at his mercy. As your hips rolled into his touch, you felt him bite your nipple, the pain made your mind focus only on him. Your moans echoed in the bedroom and you could have sworn that the neighbors could hear you. The way your walls kept clenching around his digits, it only made him bite harder. Your plea to erase Ran from your skin, Manjiro took it literally. Soon, your chest was riddled in bitemarks. Withdrawing his fingers from your messy hole he turned you over on your stomach - leaning in, he slowly slid himself inside you. As he did, he bit down on your shoulder. The sensation made you moan into the pillows and clench the bed sheets. To feel you again, to have you beneath him, Mikey thought that he was about to blow his load when he bottomed out. 

“Ngh… I’ve missed you so much, angel-oh fuck…” He moans into your shoulder. His shaky breaths and tremble of his lips against your skin had you mesmerized and drowning in a maelstrom of emotions. With his hands on your hips, he raised them higher so that he could get a deeper angle and hit that sweet spot. His hips thrusted slow and deep, he was giving you every ounce of love that you deserved. To feel how passionate he was with you, there was no doubt in your mind that he truly loved and cared for you. More and more you felt your mind at peace, leaving Tokyo was the right thing to do. 

Mikey’s nails were digging into your hips and his feral grunts sounded like a sweet symphony to your ears. Heaven was knocking on your door the moment he thrusted his his cock into your fluttering walls. “Three years… Ngh-three fucking years… ahn…” He was almost whimpering as he spoke. “I've waited and waited-Mmm…” His thrusts were getting rougher and the pressure on your hips had you biting the pillow. Mikey's breath catches in throat as he feels you clench around his length. No one could hold a candle to you, you were everything and Ran gave it all up. “Manjiro!” You yell and moan into the pillow as he keeps hitting your sweet spots over and over again. “Y-you… Oh fuck…fuck…” He tries but he can't even form a sentence without stuttering or even cursing. This was beyond desire, this was love and devotion. His right hand searched for yours, lacing his fingers with yours and resting his forehead against your shoulder. This intimate moment meant more to Mikey than anything else in the world. 

The bed continued to creek non stop with each thrust that Mikey gave you. Your left hand was gripping the headboard, trying to keep it from slamming too hard into the wall and also to help brace yourself. His hips stuttered and he slowed his pace when he felt infinity beginning to claw its way out. When he pulled out, you felt your body shudder - his warmth made you feel alive and now it’s gone. Whimpering, you turn back to look at him and he’s panting. His lips are parted and his silver tresses are a mess, that endless void in his eyes began to show a glimmer of light. Sitting up on his knees Mikey rolled you over onto your back, raised your hips and lifted your leg over his shoulder. He slid his length between your folds teasingly and his hand traced circles on your bundle of nerves. Your body trembled when he put more pressure on your clit, that same hand pushed his cock through your entrance and made you raise your hips even more. Manjiro didn’t even need to tell you what to do next, you moved your hips closer - letting him sink in and gain more friction against your clit. He smirked. “Good girl…you want to cum, yeah?” You nodded and whimpered a yes. He controlled your hip movement and leaned back a little, causing you to lose friction on the part you wanted it the most. 

“M-Mikey…” You mewled and tried to sit up but his hand pressed you down into the mattress. He chuckled when you pouted. The look on your face was desperate, he enjoyed it - you were desperate for him, no one else but him. He tortured you just a little more before rolling over and placing you on top of him. The angle was beautiful, seeing you on top of him had his heart feeling full. “Make me cum too, (Y/N)...” Ohh that tone, it made your pulse race and your walls fluttered. Placing your trembling hands against his chest you began to bounce up and down his length at a slow pace. You could feel your thighs shake as he suddenly thrust upward as you came down, making you moan loudly - he was blurring your vision. Quickening your pace, you threw your head back and dragged his length through your velvet walls. Sounds of slick, moans and skin slapping echoed in that room - if you could make an NSFW ASMR video, this would be it. It all sounded so lewd and perfect. Feeling every vein, every throb and every twitch of his cock dragging inside you, you repeated his name over and over again.

Just when you thought you were going to float off into the abyss, Mikey reached for you - his hand was placed behind your neck and he pulled you in for a sloppy kiss. You paused for just a few seconds to try and catch your breath. He snatched the air out of your lungs when he dug his fingers into your hips and warned you. “I didn’t say stop…” Cupping his face, you lean into him and arch your back, the curved angle had his cock hitting that spongy spot with ease. His stomach was flexing with each move, Mikey was getting close - his raspy grunts were a clear indicator. Breathing him in you felt a high like you’ve never felt before. All you could think about was him. He made your mind go blank and pushed every other thought out of your head. Who were you crying about earlier? Whose lavender orbs were lingering in your thoughts? You couldn’t remember anymore.

Mikey held your body close, your clit was receiving so much friction that your thighs were starting to shake, “F-fuck…oh fuck…” You moan and close your eyes, floating off into the clouds as your orgasm crashes into you. The sensation had you going faster, to the point where he had to hold your hip in place or his cum would drip out. “Ahn, (Y/N)...” He moans and braces for his second - yes…his second orgasm. You were so caught up in Mikey’s scent and voice that you didn’t hear him say he was cumming the first time. It was already too late, your sheets were a complete mess by the time you both stopped moving. A mix of your juices and his thick cum stained the sheets. You were both left breathless and in a daze, this moment felt the closest to heaven than anything in the world.

These feelings were finally set free, he was the person who you wanted to be with, he was the person that made everything right and kept your heart at ease. Resting your head on his shoulder, you feel his heartbeat against yours. It sounded like a lullaby - one that you wouldn’t mind listening to for the rest of your life. This blissful moment came to an end when the sound of Manjiro’s going off made you both flinch. When he tried to move, you pinned him down and tears were beginning to prick your eyes again. You wanted him to just let it ring so that you could savor this just a little longer. Panting and coming down from your high, you leaned in to crash your lips on his, kissing him and devouring him.  “...stay.” You cry between each kiss. “Don’t leave…” For three years you waited for him to walk through that door and now that he’s here, you don’t want him to leave. You had absurd hopes, you are asking the head of Bonten to drop everything for you. Rolling you over so that you both were on your sides, he wrapped his arms around you and exhaled. His gesture told you everything you needed to know, he was leaving the next day - he only came here to see you one last time. 

“I know I can’t ask you to come back to Tokyo and I can’t ask you to wait for me…” He spoke and nuzzled his face against yours. Closing your eyes, you braced yourself - what was he going to say next?

*2 years later*

The sensation of someone touching your face woke you up from your nap. Dazed and confused, you open your eyes and see the culprit. Blonde tresses and dark eyes, yet their smile felt like the sun. Chubby little fingers were now poking your face and their face was now in your face. “M-ma…” Your one year old son babbles and smiles at you. “Akio…shouldn’t you be napping?” You say to your child as if he could understand you. Sitting up, you check the time and smile when you open the message notification. Picking up your kiddo, you get ready with them - shower and change. Going about your day, you caught up with errands and came home. It was already late afternoon, possibly around 17:30. In the kitchen you prepare to eat and feed the baby, midway into feeding and you hear the front door open. The sound of someone dropping luggage and footsteps coming closer makes your heart skip a beat, and finally… “Angel…I’m home.” The sound of Mikey’s voice echoed, you were just about to respond but baby Akio decided to respond for you by babbling loudly. He recognized the sound of his father’s voice. 

When Mikey walks into the kitchen his eyes soften, seeing the beautiful sight in front of him makes his heart melt. You were sitting with the baby on your lap and when your eyes met his - he came closer to plant a kiss on your lips. You feel the baby being lifted from your lap, Manjiro picks him up and embraces his son - that child is all Manjiro, hardly even looks like you. His first born, his pride and joy that he only gets to visit once every two months. “You better not be keeping your mom up at night kiddo, I’ll kick your little ass if you are.” He whispers loud enough for you to hear him. “Manjiro!” You say and laugh. 

Manjiro’s proposal was to relocate to Okinawa as there were more available flights and you’d still be able to start a new life. That night he came to visit you in Wakkanai - he stayed only for a day but planned your futures together. No, he couldn’t leave Boten and is still head of the organization but gets about 2 weeks of leave every two months. He promised you the world and he gave it to you. Well, the baby was a surprise but still - they were your world. The others kept their same duties and their distance. There was only one other person who checked in with you and that was Sanzu - he couldn’t help but be elated that he was an uncle. Not to mention that it’s his King’s heir… 

The bitter feelings with Ran settled, you no longer held any resentment for him. If anything you felt sympathy, it turned out that his mistress’s child wasn’t his. He went through all that only to find out that it’s another man’s child. The truth came to light 8 months after the child was born. The underlings began to point out the difference in appearance when the baby got a little older. It looked nothing like Ran or even Rindou. Once the paternity test was done and the results confirmed their suspicion - you can say that he had lost his shit and threw them out, baby and all. He was trying his best to be a better person, to do right at least by you - he knew you’d never forgive him for forsaking his blood. Karma had other plans for him. Now he’s much more careful with who he sleeps with. When the rest of Bonten found out about your relationship with Mikey, it broke him. He couldn’t wrap his head around the thought of you being with someone else, even if that person was his boss. He begged to see you, but was only given a single phone call. He broke down and bursted into tears, apologizing to you and he let everything out. From the beginning of your relationship to the bitter end - it was a weight that was lifted off his shoulders. This call put out the fires in each other’s hearts. No, you didn’t forgive him but you both came to terms with everything that happened. Now you were just strangers to each other, nothing more and nothing less. 

Throughout the evening, Manjiro spent time with his son - allowing you to also catch a break from being a mom. Preparing your son for bedtime, Mikey takes him to his room and you can hear Akio coo at Mikey. “P-pa…papapa” Fifteen minutes roll by as you wait in the living room for Mikey to come back. Laying back, you see him tiptoe back, he looks a little worn out - putting a baby to sleep is hard. Collapsing into your chest, he groans and wraps himself around you. “You ok daddy?” You ask playfully and stroke his hair. Nodding and burying himself deeper into your chest, he hums and says yes. “Everyday Akio looks more and more like you. Are you sure he’s my baby? It’s like you gave birth to him or cloned yourself.” You chuckle and continue to stroke his hair. Mikey sits up quickly and stares into your eyes with a serious look. Perhaps this was not the right thing to say knowing what happened to Ran. He leans slowly, you were a little worried until he placed a tender kiss on your lips. “Yeah? Wanna try again?”  He says and wiggles his eyebrows up and down, the mischievous smirk on his face hints at making another baby. ❤️

END

TAGS: @rinrinfoxy @mor-pheus @no-signal  @namelessnikki2 @gabi-moureira @spookys-s @slvtmeow @jinii-desu @mmmaaannnsssiii @3xchooo @kokotakeomi @no-name-jack @barriesandcrem @reidsmexyconverse @waterfallsdown @1980losersliveinme @gabytodd @simp4ren @fffsksixj @whatsonthemirror @jcrml @reiners-milkbiddies @unr-u-1y @bakugosgf2005  @whoisneth  @bluephoenix908  @asmosslut @laurenzitaa @uniqueeggtoast @arlertsbaby @ilivefortheleague @mytaiyakeylover @niko-ash @anxious-chick

[tobbotobbs]

Yandere DBH RK800 Connor x male (deviant or human) reader

Connors mission is to find and obtain the reader, a deviant/human on the run. However when searching the house he finds reader hiding and doesn’t warn Hank. Instead he sneaks the reader out and takes him for himself. He was just such a pretty model/boy that he had to take him home for himself.

Maybe he imbeds a chip into the reader to know where he is at all times?

Either human or deviant reader, just make Yandere Conner please and thanks.

Never wrote yandere stuff before so I hope this is okay :(

It was dark outside when M/n finally found an abandoned house where he could rest and hide for now. He had been running from the police and the dogs for what seemed like an eternity. And the fact that they were shooting after him as well, because he apperiantly couldn't feel pain and was just scrap metal with a voice, did not really made the running easier. He had to dodge thise bullets because he, in fact, did feel everytime something punctured his model. He in fact had feelings. Which was the start of all his problems actually. He had started to show some interest in his Mistress, Alina, which led her to question him what was happening and if his database was broken or needed a new update. Of course he declined and actually told her, as stupid as he was, that he had those feelings in him. They just suddenly started to appear someday and since a few days he broke through his data wall and finally acted on his own completely. After hearing her bodyguard android telling her all this, Alina of course chose to be careful and tell the android company about this situation she was in. And in no time they came and wanted to get rid of M/n. It was devastating, he had thought Alina felt something for him as well. The way she always made sure he was all cleaned up, had enough power or would be in good condition after a hard day of keeping creeps away from her on festivals or meetings. Oh, how naive the android had been. Thinking back to all this, he really shouldn't have been surprised. As long as he had no boiling blood, a beating heart and the life ik his eyes when being looked at he was worth nothing to noone.

A loud creek from one of the molting woodplanks took his interest. Slowly, M/n made his way over to the next room where he assumed the sound had come from. At closer inspection he found a few pigeons on the floor who just seemed to be sitting there and resting, just like he did. Smiling he went closer and sat down next to them, the animals not bothered by the androids appearance and deciding to just stay where they were seated, sharing the nice quietness of the room in the dark room which was slightly alighted by the moons presence outside. ,,You guys seem so peaceful...I wish I could just fly away as well. That must be a relieving feeling, go just...go", he whispered more to himself than the pigeons who only looked at him from the side in a weird manner. He only chuckled lightly. ,,Yeah...Yeah I must look a little mad right now I guess...", still talking to himself, M/n decided to call it a day and maybe dwell in the comfort of old memories on his database.

Meanwhile in the dpd, Hank Anderson and his Android partner Connor were sitting at their desks and waiting for something to come up so they could finally get away from Gavin and rk900 yelling at eachother in the office. It was literal hell for them. These idiots weren't even getting any punishment which made Hank more annoyed than he already was. It was just awful watching those two argue about some little inconvenience of their case when the real reason they've been so frustrated with eachother was in fact not the case but the sexual tension going on between them. Everyone saw it, even Connor who mostly didn't understand social clues and other things that had to do with human emotions. But really, for an Android that smart rk900 also seemed to not get it. And Gavin probably just felt too ashamed and proud to let the thought of him liking an Android slide. Poor guys, Hank thought to himself. He then proceeded to turn around in his seat and took a look at his partner who, instead of still looking at the arguing cops, stared at the wall, deep in thoughts. His little LED flickered between blue and yellow, showing that he was thinking or more like processing something which got the older man interested.

,,Connor, what's going on in that little head of yours?", he had asked smugly, already awaiting Connors dismissing reply that he actually had no real head and mind but just his servers to go through, though it seemed the Android was so deep in whatever he was doing, that he didn't even noticed Hanks question. ,,Hank, Connor! Come up here, I got a mission for you two!", the loud voice of their boss suddenly rang through the office which also bought Connor out of his processing procedure. The both of them stood up and quickly went up the stairs to the bureau of the captain of the dpd to see what he had for them. Seated in the bureau they waited for their orders. Which came quickly. A the Android of a higher ranked woman among society turned Deviant and was missed. He was classified as very dangerous because he was a bodyguard and still has weapons on him. And Hank and Connor needed to search for clues on where he was or best, find him right away and take him in. It seemed like a good and easy start into the operation, as they had already a clue on where he was last seen.

And easy it was, as it seemed. The Deviant hasn't left the area since yesterday and they just needed to check in which of all the abandoned buildings he was hiding. For that Hank and Connor decided to split up to cover more grounds. Connor, alone in an old factory building, fell into a spiral of thoughts. He was thinking about what exactly happened to the Android to suddenly turn Deviant. Captain didn't tell them any details because they needed to hurry things. He also wondered if he could ask the Deviant a few questions, personal ones, before they need to take him in and interrogate him. Perhaps he could befriend him as well to make things go easier. He threw that thought away as fast as it came. Androids don't make friends. That's what Deviants do. He was no Deviant. Suddenly he heard something. A little humming, coming from the room next to him. Slowly and carefully, Connor peaked around the corner. There, next to a lot of pigeons, the Deviant they were searching for stood and hummed a melody while dancing around a little, or more like jumping around. At the sight Connor forgot why they were here. This Deviant was dangerous? That sweet looking, humming and jumping Android in front of him? That couldn't be. He was too precious. He couldn't possibly hurt a fly now, could he? As Connor watched M/n for a while longer some confusing feelings made their way up into his system which caused to constantly show the words Software Instability in the right corner of his vision. He ignored those though. More focused on the heavenly creation in front of him. He wanted M/n. The feelings in his system were want and desire, he finally figured out.

He walked into the room, M/n still not noticing his presence as he was having fun humming and jumping around. Just as he was about to turn around, Connor grabbed the other Android from behind and held him still. He quickly searched for the deactivation button on the model to turn him off and when he did found it, he pressed it. M/n suddenly stood still and his LED blinked red for a few more seconds before it turned off. ,,I got you...now I just have to bring you home. Hopefully Hank won't notice I just left now...", Connor talked to himself as he pulled M/n into his arms and carried him away. His legs carried him to his apartment which he got while he worked in the dpd with Hank. He hadn't want to stay at the older man's home all the time so he got his own place. The way back to Connors place wasn't too long and nobody seemed to be out on the streets at this time of the day so he could easily take M/n with him. In his apartment he laid the h/c android down onto his couch and just looked at him for a little while. Then he got to work.

He searched up what to do in a situation like this and he came across some dark looking sites on the internet that told him to lock the person up, bondage them and keep them quiet somehow and be careful to not let them leave too many handprints over his place. He was confused at first but didn't look to much into it, humans were confusing to him anyways. He even got into a little discussion on one of those dark illegal site where one person recommended him, if he wanted to keep the person in control and know where they were at all times, he should put a tracker on them. That gave Connor a idea. He smiled to himself after he planned out what he would do to keep this Android, his Android, at his side. It was getting overwhelming, those feelings he had. The want grew and grew, he needed M/n at his side forever, somehow. He would do anything to accomplish that. He pulled a few arrangements over the next day, he had turned M/n's model on again which needed a little bit to restart after the abrupt deactivation, which gave him enough time to go and get the little chip he had bought online. When he came back from his little shopping spree, he had also rather impulsively bought a collar and a leash after walking along a pet store, he opened the door to his apartment slowly. The place was totally quiet, which made the Android think that M/n's model was still restarting.

Well he had thought wrong. Just when Connor rounded the cornor into the living room, the Deviant jumped at him. They both fell to the floor, Connors contents he had bought flew a few metres away thanks to the force of M/n crashing into him. ,,Who the fuck are you?! And why did you take me?!?!", the h/c Android asked, his voice shaking with anger as well as anxiety. Defensively, Connor held his hands up. ,,I'm Connor. I'm an Android, just like you. Well. Nearly like you. I saw you yesterday and...I took you. I have this feeling in me and it makes me crave for you since I saw you and now that I have you, we can live together! You don't have to worry about getting captured, tortured or even destroyed by humans! And you can jump around and hum how much you like here with me! You'll have such a kice life here with me, I promise!", he kind of maniacally smiled up at M/n. Everything he had said caught the ex bodyguard off guard. ,,Crave...me? What do you mean?", more anxious and confused now, M/n stood up and backed away from Connor a little. ,,You belong to me now M/n! I can and will give you everything yeah? This is your new home, trust me this is going to be perfect!", he stood up as well and walked closer to M/n. ,,I even got my little Deviant something~", it nearly sounded like Connor was purring those words as he grabbed the stuff from the floor. ,,Now, be good and let me put this around you yes? It will make you look so much better!", he exclaimed. His cold hands took the collar and the leash, opening it while putting it around M/n's neck, who was still shocked and couldn't really react or do anything. After it was put comfortably around the neck and closed, Connor clipped the leash onto a little hook at the frond of the collar and tugged slightly at it which made the Deviant fall forward a little and his mouth escaped a choked gasp at the sudden pressure around his throat, which turned a little white at the irritation.

Snickering, Connor tugged a little more until M/n was right in front of him. If he could breath, the other Android would've been able to feel it on his skin. ,,So good for me darling...now to my last little gift. God you look so obedient and good in this collar and leash! If I tugg you a little closer...like...this!", he pulled and M/n finally fell fully into his chest. That gave Connor the perfect position of putting the chip into back of M/n's head. ,,Darling stay still for a second. I've got to put something into you...for your safety yes? It could hurt a little but please, remember I love you and I am doing this so you'll be able to have a better life yes?", he sugar coated what he was about to do. Panicking about what was about to happen, M/n started to free himself from Connors grip, but the other had him perfectly captured between his arms. M/n felt one cold hand travel to the back of his head, where he pushed a little around before he found what he was looking for. A little plate of metal that wasn't really connected to the rest of the other parts. So he could pull it of, with force. Which he did. Agonizing pain went through the Deviants body. His eyes were opened wide while his mout let out an silently painful scream. If he could, he would fall unconscious. He wished he could fall unconscious. He didn't want to be here in the arms of some weird Android model that has gone mad. M/n didn't even care about the pain when the chip was put into his model. He just accepted it and afterwards, when the little plate was put onto it's place again, he didn't dare to look Connor in the eyes. He was scared, confused and stressed. He should've stayed with Mistress Alina, should've not told her how he felt. Oh what he would give to just be in her presence right now and get to speak a few words with her. He missed her. So much. It made him feel even worse, now that some creepy stranger took a liking on him and decided to creepy him and make him his. He didn't want that, all he wanted was to be left alone, to fly like the pigeons did.

So aorry this is actually so fucking bad I didn't know what to write exactly 'cause I've never written or really read any yandere stuff! I'm so sorry, hope you guys still kinda enjoyed it (:

[tonberry-yoda]

Getting Over It - Peter B. Parker

notes - GOD I LOVE MY CRUSTY DILF SO MUCH! I am so happy to put out my first fic for this fandom and hope everyone enjoys it! I'm going to be seeing the new movie soon as well, so I can bring you fics for more characters!! I hope you enjoy this and have a super day!! Stay hydrated! word count - 1,208 WARNINGS - nothing super crazy, but it's pretty angsty as it talks about Peter going through divorce

You remember when he called you after his divorce, hiccupping on his own tears. You told him that everything was going to be okay, that it was okay and normal for him to not want kids. He thought something was wrong with him, but you reassured him that that was not the case. He never believed you though, called himself a failure to himself, to MJ, hell, even to the world, which of course you didn't agree with, seeing as he was literally Spiderman.

You remember the first time you saw him as Spiderman. You were surprised that a superhero was waltzing into MJ and Peter's home like it was nothing. MJ had invited you over for dinner and apparently didn't expect it either. And then Peter took off the mask and you all laughed about it that night at dinner. They trusted you with his secret, but you were surprised you didn't know about it sooner.

You had known Peter for a long time. The two of you went to college together and were a hard duo to separate. You obviously weren't mad that he didn't tell you, just surprised.

And you had been very close to MJ as well. Crying at her wedding with Peter and always going out together on weekends.

But to see the two split up broke even your heart.

She wanted kids.

Peter didn't.

And so, that was the deciding factor and the two were divorced, MJ already back into the dating world.

But Peter, he was still broken. He could barely manage himself after the divorce and felt like everything was wrong with him. He felt like he broke her heart.

"I know this must be hard for you," you had told him when you helped him move into his new apartment. "But for your own mental health, Peter, you need to move on eventually."

"From MJ?" he asked, a tear pricking the corner of his eye. "That's a lot harder than you think it is, y/n. She was perfect."

You just nodded and continued helping him in silence. Everyone has their own way of getting over things, and Peter took a long time.

He thought that MJ was the only person out there for him, the only one who could ever love him. And he thought after the divorce, he was unlovable. He complained that he put on weight and he hid behind his Spider-suit, acting like Peter Parker had vanished.

But even through tears and leftover pizza, you swore to him that you would always be there when he needed you.

He knew this too and to get his mind off of what felt like such a miserable life, he would always call you to go do things with him. You two went bowling more often than not and dined at crappy restaurants, taking leftovers to empty parking lots. But most importantly, the two of you always found something to laugh at. The gray streak forming in his hair, watching pigeons, the villains he would have to fight, stuff like that never failed to make you two smile in a time when you really needed it. When he really needed it.

After a long time, you convinced him to start dating again if he was up for it. He tried dating websites that didn't go over quite well and sometimes met girls out that he would ask on a date or two, but he said it wasn't really leading anywhere and put that down quickly.

He and MJ stopped talking, unfortunately, but he would always ask you updates about her, since you two were still very close. But even after a while, he stopped doing that and continued on with his life with a smile, fake or not.

He was trying, that was all that was important to you. He was getting better by the day as well, his apartment cleaner every time you would come over. You were so proud of him.

On Valentine's day, a year that Peter seemed at his best in a long time, you decided to show up with a bouquet of flowers and a teddy bear at his door.

You knocked, waiting, hoping that he wasn't out at work or busy. But to your delight, the door flew right open and you were immediately greeted with laughter from Peter. He told you to come in and took the flowers and teddy bear from you, setting them on a coffee table.

"This means a lot, y/n," he said, still laughing a bit. "Thank you."

"Anytime." you said with a smile, sitting down on the couch. "Anything you wanna do today? Or are you just gonna hang around here?" You looked around at his apartment, that had sunlight pouring into the windows and smelled like fresh laundry.

"Well, there is something I was planning." he said, a hint of pink dusting his cheeks.

"Oh? Is that so?"

He averted eye contact with you and played with his own fingers. "I was just wondering if uh... you would wanna... go on a date with me." His voice trailed off at the end, nervously and his face went from light pink to dark red.

You looked at him with surprise. You have obviously considered going on a date with him more than once. He was beyond handsome and never failed to make you laugh, so you definitely developed a huge crush on him, but he was asking you out?!

"You wanna go on a date with me?" The words rushed out of your mouth with surprise.

He nodded, still not facing you. He was clearly nervous about the whole thing.

"I would love to." Your voice was small, but you were definitely smiling like an idiot.

Peter turned to you, somehow looking more surprised than how you felt, and immediately pulled you into his large arms.

The night was wonderful and one of those rare times when you got to see Peter in a suit. It was a date, but it didn't feel that way since you were both so comfortable, making stupid quippy jokes and making fun of each other. Sure, it was fancier than going bowling or going to Burger King, but it felt the same in a good way. You didn't feel forced to be a different person, even in nice clothes and Peter could be himself without worrying about his past.

You couldn't have asked for a better night as you said goodbye to Peter at his apartment, allowing him to lean down and place a kiss onto your forehead.

"I don't wanna go yet." you whispered into his ear as you hugged him, playing with his fluffy brown locks.

"You can stay if you want." he told you, rubbing circles into the small of your back.

You pulled away from the hug and smiled before realizing that you were staring at his lips. He giggled and subconsciously leaned down, pressing his lips to yours. You pulled at his hair with a smile into the kiss and he shut the door behind the both of you.

When you woke up in his arms, his hair puffed out like a bird, you knew that this was the best choice made in years.

~~~~~

into the spiderverse masterlist | pinned post 2023 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated

~~~~~

[unrequitedloveletter]

THE HALLOWEEK OF HURT: DAY ONE

Persevere- K.B x gn! reader

All right! Day one of the second year of this event, and a little bit has changed! First off, the title for the event--I recognize that while I am good for a bit of angst from time to time, a lot of what I aim for to be angst turns into hurt/comfort somewhere along the way.

Requests are open, but their closing deadline is changing--if you look at my bio, you'll see that requests are slated to close on the 10th of next month. To accommodate for myself and allow myself a bit more time to work on requests for my other account as well as write as much as I need to for my NaNoWriMo project, they're going to close on the 3rd of November instead. As such, fall event requests are open until the second. Requests not pertaining to the fall event will be open on the 3rd and close midnight AST on the fourth.

Fic type- angst and hurt/comfort

Warnings- none

On the first day of October, you woke to the sound of thundering Ketterdam rain as it pelted furiously against your window. It was the first of the autumn season and certainly not the last of it.

The downpour was the kind of rain that drove most indoors, ruined plans, made nights out ones punctuated by rain and wet feet as people ran from one club to the next.

Ketterdam was different to most other cities in Kerch, though. The rain never drove the locals back indoors because the rain was something that they were used to and for most, the only combative measures they felt the need to take were the act of putting on a suitable raincoat and grabbing the largest umbrella in their collection, as well as being sure to avoid the puddles when they stepped out of their homes and went about their nights.

You had a particular fondness for days just like that one. That day, particularly, was setting out to be the kind of day that set the scene for the rest of the month.

When it rained, it poured, and if the first day was to be of an indication as to how the rest of the month would go, the citizens of Ketterdam were in for a rainy October indeed.

That also meant that the Barrel was in for a treat, for the pigeons came aplenty in the autumn months and the rain would keep them inside the gambling dens longer than they would've stayed had there been sun.

October in and of itself had never meant much to you--sure, you loved the way that Ketterdam got during the fall and the way that it would stay until the city found itself within the throes of winter, but the month in and of itself had never really held any significance other than the fact that autumn meant rain and you had always held a particular fondness for rainy days.

That day was to be different, though, and it was to be different because you'd gotten home from a heist only the day before. You'd woken at nine that morning after getting home twelve hours before and resting two weeks worth of exhaustion and stress away after so many sleepless nights.

You lit a candle to combat the darkness of the room, the darkness that would've been long gone by that point had the day been sunny.

You debated going downstairs, where most residents of the Slat would be if they hadn't gone to Fifth Harbor to eat and watch the ever-so invisible Council of Tides control the flooding from the sea into the streets.

It would practically be a ghost town between those who'd crossed the street looking to gamble at the Crow Club due to its place so close to the Slat, those who'd dared to don a raincoat and grab an umbrella to go to Fifth Harbor, and those in the Slat who'd taken the day for what it was--a day to exist all comfy and cozy in their rooms, with a mug of hot chocolate and a good book.

You chose to stay in your room in the end, making sure you had a box of matches for when the power inevitably went out and you needed to have more than just one candle lit.

You grabbed a book from one of the set of five shelves that lined the wall across from your bed and set to reading, sighing a bit when you heard the all-too-familiar sound of a knock against your door.

"I'm not going to say no to you, Brekker," you said. "You and I both know that now. The door is unlocked if you find it within yourself to dare enter this room."

Kaz did dare and he entered with a smirk on his face, leaning heavily against his cane as he moved. For a moment, you wondered just how terribly his leg was handling the storm, but you forced your gaze to the book you were reading and tried not to think anything of the way he was gripping the head of his cane or the tilt of his body in the direction of his bad leg.

"How bad is it?" The words befell your lips before you could stop them, but you just laughed a bit at yourself and moved on. "The leg. How are you handling the storm?"

"It could be better," Kaz said. "A medik on the team brought pain medications to me last week. Vowed never to take them."

"You'll find that you need to," you said. "You're not immune from having weaknesses, Brekker. Everyone has to have at least one or they're not human."

Kaz sighed. "I know," he said.

It had felt like forever since you'd last had a genuine, full conversation with him.

In reality, the last full conversation you'd had had been in July and it was the first of October.

You were sitting in your bedroom, a book in your lap, a candle lit atop your dresser with the rain pelting against your window and acting in the place of music.

Kaz was standing across from you and looking at you like you were the love of his life but he would never acknowledge that.

"The rain has started," Kaz said.

"And according to reports, it is to continue for the next six days with only a couple of hours to give the city a break," you said. "And it is autumn, Kaz. You have spoken a grand total of thirty words to me since our last conversation three months ago--I've counted. Why talk to me now if you seemed perfectly content in never talking to me again, outside of the obligations of our jobs?"

Kaz paused, looking from you to the ground. You caught a glimpse of hopelessness, a there-and-then-not flash of the emotion within the watery depths of his blue-eyed gaze.

"We've talked," he said.

"No," you shook your head. "We haven't, and I know you think that love is weakness but I cannot do this any longer. I cannot keep waiting and hoping that someday you will see that people care about you and they are allowed to care about you, because I have known you since we were fifteen and in the four years that have passed since we met, I have realized that such a day will never come. You, Kaz Brekker, will never view love as anything but weakness when it is in fact the opposite."

Kaz swallowed. "So you're still in love with me, then?"

"I fell in love with you January of the year we took on the Ice Court and I have found it completely and utterly impossible to do anything but love you in the years that've passed since then."

"And the storm--the pain it brings, has not changed that?" You could sense that the words had a double meaning, a turn of phrase of which Kaz was not so fond.

The storm that came with loving him. The pain that was constantly brought on by the fact that the love you felt was something that Kaz never reciprocated. The complete and utter shock he felt when he acknowledged that through all of it, you still loved him--that you would love him through anything, you would love him until the sun set in his life for the last time and you would love him when his soul moved from one world to the next.

"I will love you until I have taken my last breath, Kaz. I have tried to understand why I am so deeply in love with you since I first realized, but I have not understood it yet. I will love you no matter how long the storm continues, I will love you through the pain and just to spite it," you said. "Even though you do not love me back--and if you do, you are too afraid of others turning that into leverage--I will love you far longer then it is worth. "

"And if this love persists?" Kaz asked. You wanted to punch him in the face for daring to ask it. He was treating how you felt about him like something that could be handled in a hospital room, like something that could be removed with a simple surgery that you would've been out of within the hour, but it was different. Love was always different.

"I really, genuinely, should hate you," you said. "I really should, but I don't. I can't. I do hate you to an extent, I suppose, but only on the nearly irrelevant basis of the fact that hating you is impossible for me after knowing you so long."

Kaz turned his gaze to the ground again. You wished that you could've slapped yourself in the face because of course you had fallen for the one person who could never, ever love you in turn.

"Will you leave?" Kaz asked, his voice breaking for what must've been barely half a second. "If the way that you feel about me persists, will you leave Ketterdam behind?"

"Do you want me to?" You asked. "Because sometimes, I look at you and I find that, if someone were to try to convince me that you loved me in return, I would believe them just based on what you think nobody sees in your gaze. Sometimes you--you look at me like I am to be the love of your life and you cannot stand the thought of having a love so great because you cannot stand the thought of weakness."

"Will you go?" Kaz asked.

"If you ask me to leave, I will be gone by nightfall," you said. "Ask me to go, and I'll do it. I'll just go, leave not a trace that I ever existed, for your convenience. Tell me to leave, Kaz."

Kaz bit his lip, looked up to the window and watched raindrops collide with the glass before sliding down it. He would not tell you to go because he wanted you to stay. He just wouldn't tell you that he wanted you to stay unless you asked him because there was a weight in his chest, weighing his entire body down along with it and he was sure that someday, unless something happened and Kaz moved on or you did, it would kill him.

"Tell me to leave," you repeated. "Tell me to go and I am gone without a trace, but I will not leave unless you would like me to, because frankly I have traveled quite a lot since I lost my family, and in all of that, I have found that Ketterdam is the place that suits me best. I am only willing to go if you tell me you'd like to see me gone."

"I can't," Kaz whispered. "I can't do that."

"Is that because you would like me to stay?"

"The very thought of you leaving kills me," Kaz said. "I don't--"

"Loving others is a weakness," you said. "Or--at least the admittance of it is a weakness to you. That's fine. I don't need you to say it, Kaz."

Kaz met your gaze.

Finally, he met your gaze.

Moments of silence passed. You got up and lit another candle as the sound of the rain grew more intense. Kaz moved to your bookshelves, busying himself with the act of scanning the titles on the spines.

You sat down again, debated going downstairs to get some tea. Silence enveloped the two of you, but it was comfortable, just as the silences between the two of you had always been.

"So you still love me, then?" Kaz whispered, his words barely audible in the light of the din.

"Yes," you said.

"And the storm--the pain it brings, will not change that?"

"No."

"That is a dreadful existence."

"It is a dreadful existence indeed but it is one through which I will persevere. It is one through which I have always persevered. I might go if I please, but--"

"Stay," Kaz whispered. "Please, Y/N. Don't go."

You watched Kaz turn around and head for the door. When one of his hands was on the handle, he paused.

"I do care about you," he said. "I've been in love with you since before the Ice Court. I just cannot handle the idea of the way I feel having you turned into leverage."

"I will persevere if such is to happen," you said. "Perseverance is what I'm good at. I promise, Kaz. Love does not always have to end in loss, and with us I know that it won't."

"Am I meant just to take your word for that?"

"You are," you said with a nod. "For what it is worth--I love you too. I will love you until you finally start to see love for what it is."

"Strength?"

"Strength indeed," you said. "Go rest your leg, Kaz. You can barely stand as it is. Another minute and I'll get Pim to get you a healer."

Kaz left, and you went back to reading, trying to force your heart to stop racing as you refocused your attention to the book in your lap.

[extinctionstories]

When biotech companies talk about resurrecting the passenger pigeon, through cloning or other genetic wizardry, it’s hard for me to take them seriously. Partly because I have my doubts regarding technology that hasn’t succeeded in producing even a simple domestic chicken. But mostly because, I wonder where they think the newly-created birds would fit.

Imagine millions of pigeons landing on power lines; toppling poles; taking out cable and plunging cities into darkness. Nesting in the false branches of cell and radio towers. Sending light posts crashing down onto cars in parking lots and streets. Swimming against the stream of interstate traffic. Colliding with skyscrapers, dazzled by their own reflected hordes.

Fluttering silhouettes, black against the blue, would block out days of summer leisure, blanketing festivals and concerts and sports fields with their white sleet. They’d interfere with fireworks and drone displays, and even the take off and landing of airplanes. Think of the trouble just a couple of geese can cause. (The last free-flying pigeon died without ever having had to share the skies with wings of wood or fiberglass or steel.)

Birds swooping down, to drink and to drown, from public reservoirs and lakeside harbors and backyard swimming pools. Decimating the manicured trees of city parks. Frightening pets and children and livestock. Antagonizing home owners associations up and down the east coast.

If we brought them back, this wing-flapping force of nature, what would be their place? This compound organism whose way of life depended upon existing en masse. A gust of wind can’t be held in a bottle.

For tens of thousands of years, passenger pigeons thundered over the land, marking and maintaining it, the rare species whose environmental impact could rival our own. It took scarcely a century to craft a world with which they were fundamentally incompatible. A landscape that can exist only without them.

And then I wonder, how much of that sterilized world came about because of their absence. What other ways might we have found to live, if we’d been forced to share the landscape with the wildness of the feathered gale?

How much better might things be, if the pigeons had never been gone?

[ang3lb1iss]

Notre Dame | paris paloma | Part 1 of 2 

Word count: 2.7k 

Pairing: James Potter x F!Bestfriend Reader 

Summary: Hogwarts years | You were James’ best friend since first year. Throughout your years at Hogwarts, you had started to develop a crush on James, but you refused to act on your feelings due to the fact James only ever had eyes for Lily. Now you're sitting at his funeral, reminiscing about the past and you can't help but feel regret and guilt. 

Authors note: This is my first fic /one-shot so forgive me if it isn't that great to read, I just found it fun being able to interpret lyrics into stories about characters I love. The story loosely follows the Marauders scenes in the HP movies. I picture James with either a scouse accent or a really chavvy London accent, but you can picture him however you want. I apologise in advance if the tenses get mixed up, the story is made up of the reader looking back on the past and reliving certain moments. 

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‘I'm in the rafters looking down  It's cold up here  Between walls of stone  I made my home’ 

The church is cold and dim. Especially in the upstairs seating, which is where you are situated. As you try to listen to the speeches full of childhood memories and happier times, you can't help but lose focus and think about the what-ifs and how things could've gone differently. If you had never met James in that cabin on the way to Hogwarts, you wouldn’t be feeling this pain and heartache, but you also wouldn’t have had such a joyful and exciting time at the school. Hindsight is a funny thing after all. “What if it was me and not Lily? Why wasn’t it me? Why did I have to fall for him?” You wonder what the answers to these questions could be, but the harsh truth is that you never will, and you will live with the never-ending ambiguity until the day you die. 

‘And the air hangs heavy with the incense  Feathers fall from pigeons  Cooing in the tower’ 

Your first year, you remember it all so clearly. You were looking to find a cabin for the journey to Hogwarts, but the majority were filled, and in the rest, there were stone-faced older kids that openly sneered at you anytime you walked past them. Until you found his cabin. 

 He was the only one in there and you thought that he looked somewhat friendly, so you decided to take a chance. It ended up being one of the best decisions you’ve ever made. 

 He welcomed you in with a bright smile on his face, despite looking like his face would split with how wide his smile was, he asked you the standard questions, “What's your name? What house d’ya think you'll be in? D’ya want to be mates?” Of course, I wanted to be friends with him, I probably would have been miserable without him in my life but then again, I wouldn’t be so heartbroken now. Hindsight is a funny thing after all. 

You can recall the way his eyes gleamed when he introduced himself as James. James. Tears sprung to your eyes, making your surroundings go blurry. You can't help but miss the way he proudly said he was a Gryffindor “where dwell the brave at heart” and how Slytherin was full of “evil prats and I'd rather die than be in Slytherin.” You had always admired his pride and how he never let anything upset him too much or for too long. 

That is of course until Lily Evans became more vicious and spiteful in her rejections and jabs. Whenever James was insulted by his “Lilyflower” he let it break down his nonchalant persona and let it cut him deeper than any knife ever could. His Lilyflower. The common factor in all your suffering, you couldn’t blame her of course, it wasn’t her fault that a big oaf like James Potter fell in love with her. But it's not like that fact softened the blow in any way. 

You decided to stop that train of thought before you cried even harder. Instead, you choose to remember when the Trolley Lady came to the door and being breath taken at the assortment of sweet treats. Upon looking in your purse which was just a pouch, you’d realised that you didn’t have enough to get the Bertie Botts Every flavour Beans that you would've liked, with disappointment quickly replacing your awestruck expression, you had declined and took to looking out the window instead of having to see the trolley taunting you with all its colours and designs.  

That’s when you heard him. 

“We’ll take the lot of ‘em” you heard him say and you had insisted that he shouldn’t be wasting his money on you, but he simply drowned out your pleas and focused on the shock of the Trolley Lady. He was always so generous. 

After much reluctance and countless Thank you’s, you'd decided to have a few cauldron cakes and indulge in a chocolate frog when a small timid boy opened the compartment door and asked if anyone had seen his toad, he introduced himself as Peter Pettigrew and he ended up sitting with the both of you for the rest of the journey while you had pulled out a book to read and ended up falling asleep with your head leaning on the compartment wall. 

‘I rarely go down there, the view's just so beautiful from here  And I can see everybody at their worst points  At their worst points’ 

You start to remember the moment you openly started looking at James differently. It was the end of third year, and he had just won the quidditch match between Gryffindor and Slytherin after declaring during dinner in the great hall that Gryffindor was 100% going to win and he would “wipe his arse with the slithering bastards”.  

You also remember his mumbling and moaning about having to go to detention and you remember him being too busy laying his head on your lap when you both were in your dorm and going to sleep while you read a book. 

 But there he was on his broom hovering above the crowd that had formed to celebrate the win with him. The noise of screams, chants and shouts reverberated across the entirety of the school grounds. The thought of it making you shiver. While James was practically the same shade as the snitch by how brightly his smile was beaming, you were perfectly content with watching him from the Gryffindor stands and away from the chaos that was the Quidditch pitch. 

To this day you can still feel the way your heart skipped a beat when he looked up and smiled at you. At least you thought it was at you. You noticed his wet hair, whether it was because of the rain, him sweating or a combination of both, you didn’t care. His curly dark brown hair that normally looked so fluffy and messy that you just wanted to run your hands through it and make it somewhat tidier.  

His arms that made his jersey look to be too tight, it made you picture scenarios with him being able to carry you places when you got too tired, fighting someone who tried to hurt you. You are still quite ashamed to admit the times when you got flustered at the thought of him using them to pin you against a wall and having a heated makeout session in a broom cupboard. 

Thoughts aside, you had decided to retire to your dorm for a quick nap. The cold can be very tiring. You gathered your things and stood up only to see Lily Evans, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew sat together directly behind you. You hadn't even noticed them while you watched James previously. 

Lily and Peter said hello while Remus only managed an awkward tight-lipped smile. You and Remus didn’t become friends until your seventh year when you both bonded over being unrequited lovers. The reason for this being that you always felt like he could see through you. He knew things about people before they even knew it themselves which always made you paranoid that he could see your feelings for James and tell him, and as a result, ruining the best friendship you ever had. At least I don’t need to be paranoid anymore.  

Your mind skipped to fifth year, when you were sitting with the Marauders on a warm sunny day, exams had just ended, and you all were just waiting for the results to be calculated. That’s when you heard the boys get up and walk over to a nearby tree. You looked over and saw a mop of stringy black hair and a pale face with an expression of distaste painted on his face. Snivellous,, the foul git.  

You had chosen to stay far back enough that you could still see what happens clearly but ensured you weren't too close as to avoid McGonagall's wrath if she were to show up at the scene.  

The next thing you knew was that Snivellous was hanging upside down in mid-air. Levicorpus. You remember coming across the charm in the library with Sirius and James while looking for more spells for future pranks. You never got involved in the pranks because you didn’t fancy sitting in a silent room for an hour for detention or, Merlin forbid, whatever task Filch might've issued you with. 

There was always a slight rift between you and Sirius because of your refusal to get involved in pranks, he would never have outwardly said it in front of James or Peter because of their loyalty to you, but he disliked how you would only ever consider helping them if James had asked you. You were the only girl in Hogwarts he couldn’t sway with his charm and good looks. And Merlin did it get him jealous. Not that you had noticed back then at least. 

You ended that tangent before it made you spiral down a rabbit hole of confusion. You thought back the past, Snape was being held high by none other than James Potter. His fluffy green Slytherin socks and the sparse leg hair upon his dry ashen legs, were left on display for everyone to see. You had wondered what provoked James into performing such a spell. But your question was left unanswered as your attention had gone to Snape being dropped back onto the ground and Lily Evans being called a “Filthy Mudblood.” by her old childhood best friend. 

If anger meant seeing red, then James wasn’t seeing anything but of blind rage. “Don’t you dare call her that word you vile, disgusting creature.” There was an array of insults and cussing until Lily had brought him back to his senses. She told Snivellous to piss off and she waited until he was far enough away to round on James and unleash the anger that had been building inside her for years. 

You couldn’t hear what she said due to the fact she had put a silencing charm on the area but based off what James whimpered and whined about while he dreamt in your bed with you for comfort, she had probably said something along the lines of “I would rather kill myself then ever be your girl, Potter.” Hindsight is a funny thing after all. You couldn’t help but feel a pang of your heart at the fact that his soul had latched onto Lily and not you, not even giving you a chance.  

That was the night you realised that you would never get the guy. You will forever be condemned to loving James Potter. Your life will continue to be tormented with the possibilities that could've happened, the dreams that made you weep with despair and the everlasting longing and desire slowly encasing your heart until it breaks and shatters. James Potter was the light of your life, but he also caused the darkness that it left behind. James Potter was the sun, but now everything has gone dark. 

‘I'm not a sadist, I enjoy just being able to be witness of the loneliness and fear  I abhor in case there isn't one  In case there isn't one’ 

After that night, after your tragic discovery had become the only thing running through your head. You had pathetically tried to recover the way you saw James before you fell for him. You tried for 2 long years with no luck. He still had your attention and heart, and yet he didn’t realise he had either. So, when the Marauders split for the night, you decided to ask for help. 

You were suffocating with the grief and the mourning of what could've been. And you needed someone to help you breathe. 

With Peter and Sirius headed to the dorm, James doing his Head-Boy patrols with Lily, it was only you and Remus left in the library, the map and the invisibility cloak set to the side until you both decided to leave. It turns out you didn’t even need to say anything because Remus knew exactly what was going through your head. 

He saw the adoration in your eyes when you looked at your best friend, he saw the longing and upset you tried to hide when you heard him constantly talk about marrying Lily and having “Mini Potters” with her. No matter how well you tried, you couldn’t help but subtly display your inner turmoil. 

And Remus saw it all.  

“You're in love with James, aren't you, I see the way your eyes shine brighter, and your smile gets bigger when he enters the room. But he doesn’t love you back and you know it. I know you know it. And I know you’ve known it for years now. But I know what it's like, it feels like a constant weight on your chest and when they walk in the room, it disappears even if you try to hold it down, but then their presence, their joy, their affection for someone else, drains you, the energy you put in to try make them notice your love just gets brushed away until eventually it leaves you so empty that you become a hollow shell of the person that fell for them all that time ago.” 

“I can't tell you how to get rid of it simply because I don’t know how to, but I can offer you some advice that I should've taken before it was too late. Leave, Leave them alone. Leave their life. It'll suck balls for the first while I'm sure but by staying you're degrading yourself. All your insecurities and the suffering you're facing now will pass. This is doomed love sweetheart. You're slowly breaking down. Leave. Before you can't piece yourself together again.” 

And with that he leaves the library. 

How are you supposed to leave his life? How are you supposed to keep him out of yours? The questions won't stop plaguing your mind, do you take Remus's advice and move on, or do you ignore him and feel your heart pull and crack every time you see him. The choice will be the most difficult one you will ever make and yet it’s the one that needs to be made. 

You walk into potions the next day, you thought that it would help make a choice if you avoided him for a day as a trial. Instead of sitting in your normal seat, you walked over and sat beside a Ravenclaw who you believed was called Pandora.  

The Marauders walked in and sat at their tables; you avoided James’ gaze when you looked over to you in confusion, but Remus diverted his attention elsewhere. You had inwardly thanked Remus for helping you out. 

As the lesson went on everything got worse and your decision became clearer and clearer. 

Since the year started, James had started to think twice about the pranks, he acted more mature in general and overall started becoming a man. All of this was for Lily of course. You couldn’t help but ask yourself if he would do the same thing for you if he chose you in the first place. 

You were taking notice of all the little things that you're usually too delusional to notice. 

How every time he made a joke or laughed; he would glance at Lily. You could feel your heart in your throat. 

How he would wink and smirk at her when he got an answer correct. A tear forms in your eye. 

How he would look over at her to make sure she understood the topic. Another tear forms. 

How he whispers the answer in her ear if she doesn’t know it. Another one 

How he shines with pride when Professor Slughorn appraises her. Another. 

More tears form until you couldn’t stop them anymore. Thankfully the class was dismissed, and you quickly left before the tears fell and left a salty trail down your cheek. A representation of your life back then. Although in thinking that you can't help but notice that it didn’t get any better. Hindsight is a funny thing after all. 

[bigball-thefrog]

Hunter's Prey Pt1: Slasher! Rob Lucci X Reader

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Sorry for only posting on Friday, i have been very tired this week but I've only got one exam left so I'll try not to post so late.

Warnings/Tags:

Modern AU

Mentions of killing people

Slight mention of violence

Stalking

Kidnapping

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Water Seven, a popular beach town known for its ship building it was a bustling town with many busy people living their daily lives, yet there was a dark shadow that loomed over that town...

The leopard. A feared killer on the loose known for hunting and killing his prey just like a leopard. He stalked his victims during the night when no one could see him and was gone in the morning the only thing left behind was the dead corpse, covered in claw marks and bruises around the throat...

Reader POV

I placed the cup of coffee down next to Paulie as he read the latest newspaper. I handed out the coffee's to the rest of the Galley La crew and handed the last one to Rob Lucci. I had been working at Galley La for over two years now and had gotten very close with everyone except for Lucci. He was always quiet and only spoke through his pet pigeon Hattori. Lucci was quite anti-social and only ever really talked to Paulie and from what I heard, even the he doesn't talk much and only let's the pigeon talk. He's so mysterious and kinda hot, I just wish I could get to know him more. After giving everyone their coffee I sat down next to Paulie as he sighed and closed the newspaper, "Another person found dead in their home..." He sighed as he read the article about the Leopard's latest kill. "And the police are doing nothing about it!" he said growled as he took a sip of his coffee. "Isn't Iceberg supposed to do something about it? He is the mayor after all." I asked, "Iceberg is trying to keep the town calm during the situation. But he's been hiring the best detectives in he country and still can't find anyone.." Paulie grumbled as he opened back up the newspaper and continued reading.

"And we don't know who this person even is?" I asked, "Nope, no sign of any DNA at any crime scene at all.." Paulie grumbled as he went through the paper. I just looked down and drank my coffee, who could this be? Why would you even want to do something like that? From what I know, the victims have nothing in common: different ages, different genders, different occupations.. It just doesn't make sense! I tried to stop thinking about it and just tried to enjoy my lunch, until I felt a pair of eyes burning a hole in the back of my head. I looked up to see Lucci staring at me, Hattori wasn't talking so I didn't understand why he was glaring at me, usually if someone was staring at me for no reason I would stare back until they were uncomfortable but, the way Lucci stared at me just made me feel... Scared...

He had his usual blank expression on his face but his eyes, they were intense. They were staring at me like I was a gazelle and he was a... Leopard.... No it can't be, Lucci can't be the killer going around town! Sure he's always quiet and no one really knows much about him but he's always just so, chill. He's never shown anger towards anyone, he's never gone quiet or said anything suspicious when we talk about the killer, it just couldn't be him! But why was he staring at me like this? Like he was going to eat me...

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After a long day of work I made my way home without getting drinks with anyone this time and collapsed at home exhausted. I put in a pre-made dinner in the microwave and just flopped in front of the couch as I ate. What to watch, what to watch.... News? No that's just depressing. Nature documentary? That's even more depressing.. Oh wait, a horror movie is playing! There's something more interesting. Ah the original Halloween, a classic, I decided to watch Halloween and eat my dinner in the dark. Around the part where Michael starts trying to get into Laurie's house I heard a crash, grabbing a baseball bat I got up and went to investigate. Thankfully it was just my neighbor, he's an old man with arthritis so he drops things a lot. Relaxing again I went back to the living room and put the bat down. I sat back down and continued to watch, or noticing the figure sitting next to me. Before I could react a pair of arms wrapped around my waist and pinned me to the couch. I just managed to grab my bat and swang, I managed to his the person in the face and they let me go. Still holding the bat, I grabbed my keys and ran to the front door. Swiftly unlocking it I opened the front door and was about to bolt, but the person grabbed me again, pulled me inside and shut the door and pinned me to it by my wrists. Now with some light I looked up at the figure.... Oh no....

"LUCCI!?" My mouth was quickly covered by Lucci's hand so he was now holding both of my hands above my head with only one hand, I wanted an explanation but instead of Hattori talking Lucci's mouth opened and he spoke himself, "Your fear is adorable~" Was all he said as he took his hand off my and around my throat, "Now don't scream or I'll rip your throat out..." He said quietly. Lucci, the man that never speaks and let's his pet pigeon speak for him can speak? Not only that but he broke into my house and is threatening me!? What's going on...? I simply nodded to his request and his grip on my throat relaxed but didn't move. "Lucci, what are you doing in my house? How did you even get in?" "I have my ways darling~" he said as he moved his index finger to caress my cheek, a sinister smile growing on his face. "Now, how shall I deal with you darling?~" He said as he squeezed my neck a little tighter, "Lucci please... We're.. We're friends right!? I always buy you your coffee, I always try to include you in after work stuff?" I pleaded but he didn't seem to waver. "Lucci, people are already suspecting you a lot... If you kill me then you'll just give people more reason to believe it's you. And you don't want to get caught right?" This made Lucci stop.

He kept gently squeezing my throat while he thought, then his sinister smile grew again, "You're right, I wouldn't anyone suspecting me now would we? But how do I make sure that you don't go talking about our little encounter now?" he said as he brought his face closer to mine. "Maybe I should just keep you until I know you won't speak~" "But if you kidnap me then they'll still be suspicious!" "I know, that's why you're not getting kidnapped but taking a vacation." Lucci said as he grabbed my phone from my pocket, he texted Iceberg that I would be taking some time off for personal reasons. He put my phone in his pocket then looked back at me, "Now let's get you back to my place where I can keep an eye on you." Before I could try and say anything else he held a rag against my nose and mouth and I almost instantly blacked out, the last thing I saw was Lucci's sinister grin as he still held me by the neck.

[atinylittlepain]

Of Saints and Sinners - Chapter 9

Joel Miller x f!oc

series masterlist

Decisions are made for family and the future.

warnings | 18+ angst, descriptions of violence

a/n | the last entry in this series. thank you to all who read the very first thing i posted to this blog <3

...............................

Joel knew that there were a handful of kids that lived at the childcare center. It was usually only temporary, a couple in Jackson taking them in soon after they found themselves in need of a home. But there were some who couldn’t get placed somewhere new. Kids who had seen something they shouldn’t have, the world taking an early toll on them and leaving them damaged in one way or another. Maria had told him about it. Kids who would lash out like soldiers back from serving, flashes of their past dragged into the present rendering them reactive and violent. There were others who just wouldn’t speak, mute ghosts that needed looking after. 

He thinks about that conversation as he sits outside the childcare center, wringing his hands in his lap. She had left him on a bench on the playground and told him she’d be right back out. With Will. The little boy he saw her with all those months ago. He had never seen her like that before or after that time, the clear love that she had wrapped around the kid. It made him nervous. He knows this is more than important to her. It’s another wall coming down. Maybe one of the last ones.

His breath catches in his throat when the door to the building opens. She comes out first, but he can see that she’s holding a very small hand next to her hip. The boy stays close behind her legs as she walks over to him. Joel’s not sure if he should stand or stay seated, but they’re on him before he can really decide so he stays on the bench, pressing his palms into his thighs. She’s smiling, drawing Will to stand by her side even though he buries his face into her hip. Joel’s eyes are darting between her face and the mop of dark hair that’s pressed against her jeans. She brings a palm to the boy’s back, rubbing gently.

“Joel, this is Will. Will, this is who I was telling you about.” Joel clears his throat, realizing all too late that he hasn’t had a whole lot of recent experience talking to kids. His voice comes out a lot gruffer than he intended.

“Hi, Will.” He feels like a dope, but she offers him another reassuring smile before carding her fingers through the boy’s hair, encouraging him to finally look at Joel. He holds Joel’s gaze for a heartbeat, eyes quickly going to his pigeon-toed sneakers. The boy’s voice is small but clear.

“Hello.” She crouches down next to the boy, keeping an arm wrapped around his waist as she glances back at Joel. He feels like his heart is beating out of his chest.

“Do you remember what I told you about Joel, bud? How I ride horses with him?” The boy nods, glancing at Joel again. She smiles before looking back up at Joel.

“Will really wants to ride horses. He thinks they’re the coolest, don’t you?” Will nods again, the suggestion of a smile on his face. Joel can’t help a similar grin turning the corners of his mouth. He leans onto his elbows, dipping his head to try to catch the boy’s gaze. He’s trying to remember how to talk to a kid, really.

“You like horses, kid?” Not his best effort, but Will still nods, finally meeting Joel’s gaze.

“I read books about them, a-and I’ve seen pitchers of them.” Joel’s heart squeezes at his words. 

“You ever seen one up close?” Will becomes a bit more animated at his question, his eyes widening.

“Only a long time ago.” Joel glances her way but she’s looking at the boy with a hopeful smile. He’s not sure if it’s even allowed, but Joel’s already saying it.

“How’d you like to see some horses today?” The boy lets out a bright gasp that makes Joel laugh. Suddenly, his chest feels a lot lighter than it has in a long time. Will’s eyes dart to her, seeming to silently ask her if Joel’s for real. She offers him a grin and a nod.

“We can go see the horses, bud. I’ll just have to check with Laura, ok?” Will nods his head whip-fast, already trying to wriggle out of her arms. She fixes the boy with a firm but kind look.

“I need you to stay here with Joel while I go let Laura know, alright?” Joel’s stomach drops at her words. Sure, he was starting to do ok with the kid, but with her there as well. He did not feel ready to be solely responsible for him, even if it was for a few minutes. But she’s already walking back towards the building while Will hops up on the bench next to him. Joel tentatively rests one arm over the back of the bench, turning slightly towards the boy. He’s surprised when Will speaks first.

“Who are you?” Joel’s already at a loss. He opens his mouth to speak a few times, but only to shut it again when he can’t find a good answer. Will cuts off his floundering.

“Are you trying to take me?” Joel furrows his brow.

“What makes you ask that, kid?” The boy shrugs.

“People tried to take me before. But I won’t go without her.” Joel is still confused by the boy’s words. Had there been families in Jackson who had tried to adopt him? He clears his throat.

“Well, I’m not gonna take you, kid. I just wanted to meet you, she’s told me alot about you.” It’s a lie, but Will seems to accept that answer, looking down at his sneakers as he kicks them in the air.

“Do you shoot guns?” For a moment, Joel asks whatever mercy there is left in the world to give him a break, but then he answers.

“Sometimes.” Will hums at that.

“I saw her shoot guns once. It was loud.” There’s no time for Joel to respond to that, as he sees her walking back over to them. The relief is instant.

“Alright, bud. Let’s go see some horses.”

…

They walk through the town toward the stables. She’s holding the boy’s hand, and Joel is on his other side. He can see people looking a little longer at their strange trio and then, he nearly chokes on an inhale when a small hand takes his. He glances down at Will, who doesn’t even look at Joel, like holding his hand was the most natural thing in the world. Joel’s trying hard to not imagine what they look like. Like a family.

There are several foals in the grazing pen when they get to the stables, successful spring births that are now growing into the summer. Will lets go of both their hands to press up against the fence, his eyes wide as he watches the animals. Watching Will, Joel is reminded of the first time he saw horses as a boy, and he’s startled by how quickly he’s growing to like this kid. He squeezes her shoulder as she sidles up next to the boy.

“I’ll be right back.” She gives him a questioning look, but nods, becoming distracted by a peel of laughter that Will lets out when one of the foals tosses its mane back in a whinny. 

Joel heads over to the main barn and quickly finds the bucket of grain he was looking for. When he returns to them, he tentatively rests his hand on the boy’s shoulder. Will looks up at him, his face still lined with awe.

“Do you wanna see them a little closer, kid?” He knows he didn’t really have to ask, but seeing the excitement in the boy’s face is worth it. He glances at her.

“You coming?” She shakes her head, biting her lip to pin down a grin.

“You guys go on, I’ll watch.” Joel steers the boy with a palm on his back over to the gate of the pen. When they step inside the pen, Will takes Joel’s hand that isn’t holding onto the bucket, stepping back behind Joel’s legs. Noticing the intrusion, the foals are already meandering over to the pair. The closer they get, the more Will shrinks behind Joel’s hip. Joel sets the bucket down, turning and kneeling with a groan to get on the now very shy boy’s level.

“You alright, kid?” The boy shrugs. Joel brings his hand to his shoulder, giving a light squeeze.

“They’re all friendly, I promise. Just a little hungry. Here, watch.” Joel takes a handful of grain out of the bucket and holds it out in his flat palm for the closest horse. The animal lazily sidles up, nuzzling the food out of his hand. Will is watching, completely enrapt, as a smile slowly spreads across his face. The grain gone, Joel wipes his hand on his thigh before looking back at the boy.

“You wanna try?” He nods, shuffling over to the bucket and taking a handful of grain out. Joel lets the boy stand in front of him, and he brings his palm to rest under the boy’s up-turned hand as he holds out his arm for the foals. As one of the horses approaches, Will starts to back into Joel, but he puts his other hand on the boy’s shoulder, a reassurance. The giggle that Will lets out when the horse begins to eat from his palm makes Joel dizzy. He didn’t know there was joy left in this world, but he reckons that if there is, this is it. He glances over his shoulder to see her, elbows resting along the top of the fence and her chin in one of her palms. He’s not seen that kind of smile from her before. 

…

They feed the horses for a while, and Will continues to come out of his shell. By the end of their time at the stable, Joel has him stroking the foals’ manes and talking sweetly to the animals, a natural farmhand if Joel ever saw one. But as they’re walking back to the childcare center, and Will so easily holds his hand, Joel is once again startled by how quickly he slipped into this role. He’s not entirely sure if he’s comfortable with it. Sure, he looked after Ellie, but she was practically grown by the time he knew her. This is different, and it scares him. He also doesn’t understand why Will is staying at the childcare center in the first place. He’s perfect, brilliant even, if not a little shy. But then he remembers what the boy said, that he wasn’t going anywhere without her, and a whole new set of questions lights up his mind. It’s clear how much this boy means to her, and how much he loves her. But Joel knows there’s no blood relation and he’s left with no clue as to why the pair are so close. 

When they get back to the childcare center, they pause for a moment at the door and Joel’s not sure what he’s supposed to do. Will lets go of his hand, choosing instead to wrap his arms around her legs. She rubs his back. Joel can hear the boy’s murmurs though they’re muffled into her jeans.

“You’re gonna come tomorrow?” She untangles him from her legs, crouching down and holding both his hands.

“I always do, bud.” The boy huffs.

“Not always.” Joel sees the wince flash across her face, but she’s quick to hide it with a tight smile.

“Remember I told you that was just because I was in a little trouble. But I’m not gonna get in any more trouble, I promise.” Joel’s mouth gets dry, realizing exactly what “trouble” she’s referencing, but she keeps talking.

“You know, Will. It was Joel who helped me get out of that trouble.” The boy’s head whips around to look at Joel.

“You helped?” Joel swallows hard, sharing a quick look with her over the boy’s head. Her eyes are soft. He nods.

“I guess I did, yeah.” Will looks at him for just a beat longer before turning back to her.

“When are you coming tomorrow?” She laughs.

“In the afternoon, alright?” He nods, wrapping his arms around her neck for another hug before pulling away to let her stand. What Joel wasn’t expecting was for the boy to turn and wrap his arms around his legs, a hug that’s over as soon as it started.

“Thank you for showing me the horses, Joel.” The sentence comes out a bit shaky, but it still makes Joel’s heart catch. He has to clear his throat harshly before he speaks, resting his hand on Will’s shoulder again.

“You’re welcome, kid. It’s good to meet you.” With that, she takes Will’s hand and leads him inside, Joel hanging back. He’s not sure what just happened, his brain reeling in questions. He leans back against the wall of the building, scrubbing a hand down his face. He hopes she’ll have some answers. He’s startled out of his thoughts when she comes back out. He thinks she looks a bit nervous as she looks at him.

“Well, I think Will may have a new favorite.” Joel snorts at that, pressing off the wall to walk with her back to his house.

“That’s impossible, darlin. That kid is stuck to you like glue.” He catches the way her face falls at that only slightly. She clears her throat.

“I know you probably have a ton of questions. And I’d like to try to answer them, that ok with you?” He stops in his tracks to look at her, the way she’s biting her lip. He nods.

“Let’s get back to the house. You can tell me everything.”

…

They sit down at the dining table. Joel rests his elbows on the table, trying to organize his thoughts into coherent questions.

“Why– how did– what–” He takes a deep breath, trying to start over. She looks nervous. Joel clears his throat.

“From the beginning. Tell me from the beginning.” She sighs, leaning back in her chair.

“Alright, well I guess it was about two years ago now. I– we– um–” Joel is quick to take her hand in his across the table, a squeeze of reassurance. Her face softens.

“Alex and Steve and I were going on weekly raids at the time, running out and seeing what we could find. We had come across gamers before–” Joel’s brow furrows in confusion at that word and she catches it.

“You know, people who lay out bait? Someone old or injured, and then the rest of them jump you.” He nods, knowing all too well the sort of people she’s referring to.

“Well, when we saw a fucking kid in the middle of the road, we knew what we were getting ourselves into. But– I don’t know– I guess that’s my weakness– especially when they look so much like– like–” Her breath catches and Joel already knows the word, the name she’s trying to get out. He squeezes her hand again and she continues.

“Anyways, Steve and Alex stayed in the van, I got out, walked right up to him. He must’ve only been four or five? But he told me his name was Will and that he was lost. A script his adults probably told him– but I was gone, you know? This perfect little boy had me wrapped around his finger from the get-go.” She sighs, a crumpled smile across her face.

“And then, his folks appeared out of the woods on the side of the road, guns ablazing. The guys were still in the van, but I knew they had my back. I was trying to just talk to them. Told them we could work something out. Before they could even get a word in, a whole herd of infected came sprinting out of the trees. It was a fucking blur.” She pauses, taking a sharp inhale.

“His mom went down fast, god– the scream he let out– shook me to my knees. He tried to run to her but I grabbed him, hoisted him onto my back, told him to close his eyes. Steve and Alex came barreling out, took out a bunch of them, but it wasn’t enough. His dad got taken down too– there were just too many of them.” 

“It was a struggle just to get back in the van. We got knocked down by one– I was trying to hold onto him and fight this fucking thing off of us– total clusterfuck– but we made it, somehow– hauled ass out of there.” 

“He was sobbing so hard, I thought he’d pop a lung or something. Screaming for his mom– I just held him, it was all I could think to do as we drove.” She sighs, and Joel thinks he knows where this is going.

“He was bit, wasn’t he?” She presses her lips into a firm line, nodding.

“Fucker got him on his side– pfft, Steve and Alex wanted to drop him right then and there. But I– I couldn’t, Joel. Not when he– he looked so much like– god I wish I could show you a photo because it’s scary, really.” The first tears fall silently as she looks at him.

“I told them to give it a day, just give me one day to see. I sat in the van with him all night and all day while Steve and Alex camped outside. And I prayed– for the first time, I prayed– and the next day, Will still hadn’t turned.” She lets out a humorless laugh.

“I told him I would take care of him from then on, and I– I brought him home.” Joel’s trying to picture it, her stepping out of a van with a crying child in her arms for all of Jackson to see, and it finally makes sense.

“That’s why people call you the saint? What you did, when you came back? Isn’t it?” She offers him a small smile, but shakes her head.

“Not after Will. He was the first, but he wasn’t the last.” Joel’s eyebrows shoot up. She huffs.

“There was a string of kids afterwards, all the same situation. Gamer bait. Everytime I came back with another, people’s voices got a little more hushed around me, a little more reverent. That’s how that name stuck to me.” She pinches the bridge of her nose, eyes scrunching shut.

“But Will was different?” She sighs again, squeezing Joel’s hand.

“Will was different, is different. Those other kids all got adopted. But Will– he’s mine, Joel.” He lets go of her hand, leaning forward with his elbows on his thighs.

“So then– why doesn’t he– why don’t you–”

“Why don’t I keep him with me?” Joel nods. She frowns deeply, looking down at her hands now clasped on the table.

“It’s better this way. As you know I’m, uh, prone to trouble. I’ve tried to get him to go with other families, but he’s stubborn, just flat out refuses.” She shakes her head. Joel lets out a gruff exhale.

“He should be with you.” “Joel.”

“No. I know it’s not my place–”

“It’s really not.” “But, Christ, I’ve only met him once and I can tell you that you’re it for him.”

“So I should just have him shack up with me and Alex and Steve then?” 

“No, he would stay with us, here.” Joel is saying it before he even knows what he’s doing. Her eyes widen at that. He knows it’s presumptuous as hell, not even sure if he’s ready to take something on like that. But, he figures, for her he’d get ready. She stays silent and he lets out another huff.

“Family should be together, that’s what I think.” She sighs at that, dragging a hand through her hair. Joel swallows thickly before continuing.

“I know you don’t like me saying this, but there’s no need for you to be– prone to trouble– like you say.” She scoffs at his words.

“Joel.” He brings his palms flat down on the table, standing his ground.

“No. You– you’re not disposable, darlin. And you’re not somebody’s science experiment, seeing how many times you can take it and get back up. Goddamnit, there are people here who– who need you.” He gulps an inhale after finishing speaking. It’s the truth, and it frightens him. Her eyes are still wide, not leaving his. He sighs and continues.

“Look, you’re gonna do what you want to, lord knows. But– family should be together– s’what I believe.” He seems to have left her speechless, her eyes searching his face. She finally clears her throat, rubbing her palms down her thighs before standing. She shuffles over to stand between his legs, bringing her hands to rest on his shoulders. He lets his palms drop heavily on her hips.

“That’s a lot to take in, Miller.” He huffs, looking up at her.

“Wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it, darlin.” She smiles faintly dipping down to press a chaste kiss to his lips, but when she stands back up Joel can see the worried crease between her brows.

“I’ll think about what you said, really. Thank you for letting me, um, share him with you.” Joel smiles broadly at that, nodding and squeezing her hips. 

“Can I ask who else knows? About Will being like you?” She lets out a long exhale.

“Just the guys, and Maria. She thought I was crazy when I brought him back, but she helped me keep it secret, keep him safe. And now I guess you know as well.” Joel nods, slowly standing and sliding his hands up to cup her jaw, laying a kiss on her lips.

“I’m on your team, darlin. That means I’m on his too.” She smiles, leaning in for another kiss before pulling back and rubbing her palms up his chest.

“I’m really glad I’ve got you, Joel Miller.”

…

“Alright, kid. You ready?” Ellie nods to Alex who gives a few experimental buzzes of his makeshift tattoo gun before dipping it down to her forearm and getting to work. Joel can’t believe he’s letting her do this. When she had asked - more like told - him about getting a tattoo over the scars on her arm, Joel had balked immediately, a firm no on the tip of his tongue. Just as they started to argue about it at the dining table, she had come in, his woman, bandage gone from her arm where she had been bitten and a fresh design scrawled over it, a hare mid-leap across the length of her forearm. With some backup, Ellie had won that argument, but with the stipulation that Joel needed to be there when it happened. He wasn’t sure why that made him feel better, maybe a false sense of control. But now, watching Alex get to work, Joel finds himself getting a bit queasy at the sight.

It’s clear to him that Ellie is trying to look tough, biting her lip and furrowing her brow as she looks anywhere but at Alex’s work. Joel leans forward from his chair at their kitchen table and squeezes her knee, doing his best to offer her a small smile and firm nod that it’s alright. Both of their attention is drawn away from the ever-buzzing gun as someone clears their throat, their heads whipping around to see her leaning up against the doorframe.

“How’s it coming along, kid?” Before Ellie can respond to her question, Alex is chiming in, eyes still focused on his work.

“Sitting like a champ. A lot less squirmy than you are.” She scoffs, pressing up off the doorframe to step closer, bending over a bit to get a better look at Alex’s work as she rests her hand on Joel’s shoulder. Meanwhile, Ellie has a proud grin spread wide across her face. She smiles back at the girl.

“It looks great, Ellie. Gonna look even cooler than me.” That makes Ellie laugh, effectively distracting her from Alex’s continued needling. Watching them interact, Joel swears his heart swells at the sight, how easily she seems to be able to talk with Elliel, and how clear Ellie’s admiration for his woman is. 

Joel is jolted out of his fond musings when she gives his shoulder a squeeze.

“Is it alright if I steal him for a second?” Ellie snorts, nodding lightly.

“Uh, yeah. He’s the one making me all nervous.” Joel huffs at that, grumbling at the kid’s smug expression as he gets up. Before he follows her out, he thinks better of it, turning around and clearing his throat to get Alex’s attention.

“Forearm only. I don’t want her coming home with any other ink, understand?” Ellie rolls her eyes, but Alex nods.

“Heard, Miller. No wandering tattoo gun.” Satisfied with his response, Joel turns back to his woman, following her to what had been her room in the house she shared with Alex and Steve. 

He still remembers the day they spoke in here, after he found out about her immunity. It looks a bit different now. Most of her books have been moved back over to his place, along with her clothes. There’s hardly anything in the room now, just a lamp and a mattress on the floor with no sheets on it. His heart kicks up at the thought that this isn’t her home anymore, not really. Her home is with him.

She sits down on the edge of the mattress and Joel joins her with a groan, leaning back on his hands as he studies her.

“What’s going on?” She rests her cheek on her shoulder, turning to look at him.

“I thought some more about what we talked about. About Will.” Joel nods, but stays silent. That conversation happened two weeks ago now, but this is the first time she brings it up again. He knew better than to press her about it, that she’d come to him when she was ready to talk more. He knows her now. Knows when to speak, and when to stay silent. When to press, and when to let her come to it in her own time.

She lets out a long sigh before continuing.

“I think you’re right, Joel. I want Will with me– with us.” He feels his eyebrows shoot straight up his forehead at her words. Truthfully, he hadn’t expected her to so easily agree with him. It’s not like she ever had before. But he doesn’t voice that particular thought, instead leaning forward to wrap his arm around her shoulder and lay a kiss at her temple.

“Think that’s a good idea, darlin. How does this all work then? How do we get him?” She leans a little further into his side, head resting on his bicep.

“Usually, when folks– adopt, I guess– there’s a trial period. The kid might spend a few nights with the family, make sure the situation will work out. I guess that’s our next step.” Joel’s mind gets stuck on the word family, repeating it until it’s flooding his whole system. She takes his other hand in both of hers, keeping her eyes trained there as she runs her fingers over his knuckles.

“I asked Maria to start rotating me into shifts at the stables. Gonna be doing less patrol work. Less trouble, you know?” Hearing this is when Joel knows that she really means what she’s telling him, that she really wants this, wants them, and wants Will. He pulls back slightly, coaxing her to look up at him.

“Less trouble is good. It’ll be good for him too. To have you closer to home.” He takes a breath, and then says something else before he can really think about it.

“Think Ellie will like having a little brother.” It’s presumptuous as hell, and he worries that he’s crossed a line by saying it, but the bright smile she offers him is quick to calm his nerves. 

“I think so too.” She squeezes his hand in hers, and he squeezes back.

“I just hope I can be good for him.” It’s the sweetest, simplest thing he’s ever heard her say and he can’t help but dip down to press a kiss to her lips.

“You will be. We will be. Together.” 

[startrekfangirl2233-writes]

Epilogue - Home is Where the Heart Is

Chapter Sixteen of Sweet Home Alabama

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x OC (Linley Mitchell/Floyd), Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x OC (Linley Mitchell/Floyd)

Description: Things are better than ever in the year since you and Jake Seresin found each other again on the day of your disastrous second wedding. You can finally say you're happy. Really, truly happy now.

Themes: love, attraction, angst, sex, cheating, lying

Warnings: None!

Word Count: 1353

A/N: And with that, Sweet Home Alabama is wrapped! We've finally reached the Happily Ever After in Jake and Linley's story. Thank you all for reading it and enjoying it. I never expected to have so many people love the movie and my little Top Gun spin on it!

Love you all to bits!

Star

AO3: Cross-posted here!

Wattpad: Cross-posted here!

My Masterlist

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Falling in love with Jake Seresin again is far easier than you’d ever expected it to be. It helps that you don’t have to get to actually get to know him again. But you do have to rebuild the trust he has in you. At the beginning, after the first night of your second marriage, as you’ve taken to calling it, you’d walk into a room and Jake would startle and look at you like he couldn’t believe you were still here with him. It had been one of the many ways you and Jake had needed to heal together after seven years apart. You’d cried, you’d laughed, and god, had you fought numerous times over the first months you were back in Pigeon Creek. It wasn’t just your relationship that you’d had to contend with rebuilding after all. You’d had to rebuild your brand after relocating to Alabama. Jake is still building Deep South Glass. Obviously, the Bradshaws hadn’t helped at any step of the way. The wedding that you’d nearly had with Bradley Bradshaw had been the gift that kept on giving. Somebody had given the press present your cell phone number and you’d been getting phone calls from anonymous numbers asking for your statement once the articles about the Mayor of New York calling you a bitch had hit circulation, along with professional video from the videographers Carole had hired.

But you’d stayed with Jake, taking the media storm as the first test for your relationship. It was difficult, especially once the press got a hold of your marriage license from when you were eighteen and then proceeded to mob Deep South Glass fighting for a chance to interview your husband. But the challenge was well worth the effort, especially when you have the chance to tumble into bed with Jake every night. Soon enough, the media forgot, choosing to focus on Bradley’s budding relationship with none other than Callie Bassett, and you fell in love with your quiet life in Pigeon Creek again. It wasn’t too quiet, though, not with Natasha flying down every chance she got. But she doesn’t fly down to Pigeon Creek to see you. Instead she flies down to see you, and also to see more of Bob, which is a relationship you never would have expected. It makes you happy to see your best friends in love with each other. You also adore having Natasha in town as often as she is.

It’s been a year since your disastrous wedding to Bradley Bradshaw fell through. You’ve set up a deal with your old mentor, sending him designs in the mail and are working on creating your second full collection. It makes you happy to be creating in a place where you feel so happy. Deep South Glass has grown a colossal following and Jake has presided over three store openings across the South East. There are even talks about opening a shop and store-room in California. Artisanal Glass-blowers and Glass sculptors across the nation want to become a part of Deep South Glass. 

Despite the hype, he still makes lightning sculptures on the beach on stormy nights. You always join him. Of late, though, you curl up with Bryant under a blanket, safe and sound in the cab of the truck. It’s overprotectiveness on Jake’s part, coupled with a hearty dose of fear. One late-term abortion was more than enough for the both of you, so you don’t argue anymore when he pleads with you not to lift things or to stay in the car during his lightning storms. He does allow you to join him in the truck though, because it’s tradition at this point for you both, and because you know he secretly enjoys the thermos of hot chocolate you always pack as well as spare clothes and towels.

You’ve got a towel in your hand when Jake opens the door and lets in a cold draft. Bryant burrows even closer to your belly and you smile sleepily up at Jake from within your warm blanket nest.

“I’m so glad you’re not out in that tonight, Lin.” Jake towels himself off roughly after tugging his shirt off. He splatters you with cold rainwater, and you burrow even more under the warm blanket. His chuckle makes you smile as he pecks your pursed lips and downs a full thermos cup of the hot chocolate you hand him. 

“You’re smiling at me now, darling, but it’s cold out there.”  To prove it to you, he pulls you into his lap and his fingers like ice when they dip under your shirt and make contact with the warm skin of your belly. 

You squeal and gasp at the contact and choke out, “Ice, Jake! Your fingers are ice! I was perfectly happy and warm in here, you know? You also woke the baby up! I just got her to fall asleep and not kick my ribs like she was trying to play soccer!”

“M’sorry Lin.” You know he is sorry, especially when he draws the blanket up around you both and his calloused fingers massage slow, warm circles across your stomach.

Instead of letting him apologize, you pull him into a kiss, slow and sweet, content in your perch on your husband’s lap. When you pull away, you hum in pleasure, soothed and sleepy just from the massage, and your growing daughter is fast asleep in your womb.

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you look like this?” You press a kiss against his collarbone and smile.

“Every day, Jake. I don’t think you’ve stopped telling me how beautiful I am or how much you love me. You tell me every morning when I stagger into the bathroom, practically sprinting, because our baby girl is dancing on my bladder. You tell me when I’m bedraggled, covered in charcoal and pastels, and sleepless because one of my designs isn’t turning out how I can see it in my mind’s eyes. Above all else, you tell me when I’m scared out of my mind and worried that my body’s going to mess up all of our hard work again.” Jake’s eyes glint in the light which lances down to meet the lightning rods you’re a safe distance from. “I fall in love with you every time, too.”

“I didn’t tell you those two facts enough the last time.” His voice still hitches thinking of that dark time in your life as well as the seven years that followed. “I’ll never know if by saying those words to you, it would have made me enough for you to stay.”

“You’ve always been enough for me to stay. I ran away from you because I couldn’t face myself anymore. But we’ll never know if you telling me you love me would have changed anything. All we can do now is live our lives together, just you and me, with our baby girl and Bryant. All we can do is live as a family, love as a family. We can’t afford to think about the what-ifs in our lives, the ways different decisions would have changed the past. But we can learn from the mistakes we made.” You sip carefully on the hot chocolate, relishing in the warmth sinking into your veins as Jake holds you just a bit closer.

“I love you so much, Linley Seresin.” His lips press gently against your temple. “I’m never letting you go ever again.”

“I’d revolt if you tried to let me go now, Jacob Seresin. You’re in this for life now. Anyhow, I’m going to need you to help with half of the feedings and diaper changes once our little miss makes her appearance.” 

“Always.”

When you fall asleep that night wrapped around a hideously expensive pregnancy pillow with Jake’s arm around your waist, you are incandescently happy. If only that young girl leaving Pigeon Creek all those years ago had the faith in Jake and in your love that you do now. Maybe it’s true what they always say. Home is where the heart is. You’ll never forget that now.

I DO NOT CONSENT TO HAVE MY WORK POSTED, TRANSLATED, OR PUBLISHED ON ANY SITES OTHER THAN ON AO3, ON WATTPAD, OR ON TUMBLR BY ME. IF YOU SEE MY WORKS ANYWHERE OTHER THAN AO3, ON WATTPAD, OR TUMBLR, THEN THEY HAVE BEEN POSTED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION, AND I WILL BE WORKING TO TAKE THEM DOWN.

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[daniel-profeta]

top 10 songs of all time?

Changes everyday, but in no particular order some of my more consistent favorites are:

The front bottoms - Twin Sized Mattress

Car Seat headrest - Kimochi Warui *so many options here, but to pick one from this band...*

Tool - Lateralus

The Mountain Goats - Best Ever Death Metal Band Out of Denton

Phoebe Bridgers - I Know the End

Elliott Smith - King's Crossing

AJJ - People II The Reckoning

At this point I started to think harder about the songs that have meant the most to me throughout my life and as I've gotten older. For example, I like a lot of Bright Eyes songs more than First day, but that song has had way more impact on me. I play it all the time, the lyrics are permanently imprinted in my mind, and to me it's one of the most beautiful and vulnerable love songs ever written. With that in mind more and more "important" songs started coming to mind.

8. Alex G - Forever 9. Bright Eyes - First Day of My Life 10. Johnny Hobo - New Mexico Song

Now I have ten, that was easy.

Except...

I remembered that one Demarco song that makes me cry everytime I hear it. Got to include that. How many times have I listened to the Glow pt 2 during the summer? How could I leave off something from Porcupine Tree, the band that I once considered my favorite band of all time? So I kept going, through names and bands that I collect like emotional trophies, not wanting to leave anything out. They all mean so much, it's honestly pathetic. I used to hyperfixate on things like Zelda and Star Wars, then I found this shit and my brain chemistry has been altered ever since.

11. Mac Demarco - Moonlight on the River 12. Mitski - Texas Reznikoff 13. The Microphones - I Want the Wind to Blow 14. Pigeon Pit - Nights like These 15. Radiohead - Exit Music 16. The Crane Wives - Never Love an Anchor

Funny how quickly a song can feel like home. That Crane Wives song technically shouldn't even be here, I only heard it for the first time a few weeks ago. Yet maybe listening to it 30 times since qualifies it for consideration. Phoebe Bridgers has a lyric in one of her songs about wishing she had written something instead of the original artist, but she can't cause they said it first. So instead she'll learn their song and sing until the feverish inspired feeling fades away in a voyeuristic catharsis.

I think about that line constantly. Also quickly want to mention here that I'm more of an album guy. I try to listen to full records to try an experience the full piece of art the creator made. So while no song off The Downward Spiral is on my list of favorite songs, that was and is one of the most impactful albums to me as a teenager.

17. Porcupine Tree - Arriving Somewhere but not Here 18. XTC - Dear God 19. Wilco _ I am trying to break your heart 20. NIN - Burn 21. Lucy Dacus - Night Shift 22. Haley Heynderickx - Oom Sha La La 23. Swans - New Mind

Swans was hard, because there were a few songs that meant a lot to me. But ultimately there wasn't one more visceral or frankly more evil sounding than New Mind. Love the themes, love the singing style, love the backing yells, love the industrial outro, love the faint organ, love everything about that damn song.

The list kept getting longer, and for each song I was writing a paragraph to explain my choice lol. After the first like 15 I decided to stop doing that for the sake of your eyes and for risk of sounding redundant. But a major thing I love about some of these songs are how inspirational they are. Twin Sized Mattress, Denton Metal Band, Story of an Artist, they all paint a picture of the type of person I want to be. The type of art I will always support. The thing I hope to one day inspire in other people.

When you punish a person for dreaming their dream don't expect them to thank or forgive you. The best ever death metal band out of Denton, will in time both outpace and outlive you.

Those words could honestly save someone's life, it's crazy.

24. A Perfect Circle - Three Libras 25. Deftones - Rosemary 26. Frank Ocean - Ivy 27. November Suite - The Tower 28. Daniel Johnston - Story of an Artist 29. Sloppy Jane - Jesus and Your Living Room Floor 30. Big Thief - Not 31. Tyler the Creator - Boredom 32. Duster - The Landing 33. The Velvet Underground - Sunday Morning 34. The Voidz - Human Sadness 35 - 108. System of a Down - (every song) 109. Death Grips - Beware

Okay, threw these and now dozens more names are crowding my brain, and this incredibly pretentious post must come to an end. Long story short, I only have one song left to share, but each of these song has a very personal connection to me. Certain ones (like that tool song) actually changed the way I look at the world and helped me through dark periods of my life.

Many of them inspire me, some of them are just beautiful in a broken and real sorta way, and all of them feel human. The art represents something bigger than itself and the ambition knows no bounds. These songs changed my world for the better, and if you read this you are now obligated to listen to all of them.

I could ramble about music till the end of time:)

finally 110. 100 Gecs - Money Machine

[jucyfruit]

Lucy Dacus Brings It All Back Home

by Hilary Saunders | 9/2/16

Back in March, when Lucy Dacus and her band passed through Boise, Idaho to play the opening night of Treefort Music Festival, every single member of the group—rolling four deep—wore shirts and caps that bore a variation on their home state’s motto: “Virginia Is For (Music) Lovers.” Before their set, they had stopped in Bleubird, locally considered Boise’s best sandwich shop, and while they waited in a line that stretched out the door, Dacus and the boys chatted eagerly and earnestly with those around them—especially if they asked about their shirts.

Four months later at the Harrison Street Café, one of her favorite sandwich shops in her hometown of Richmond, Virginia, Dacus remembers the festival fondly. Her debut album No Burden had only been out for about a month at the time, courtesy of Richmond indie EggHunt Records, and Boise was the farthest west the band had ever performed.

A lot has changed since then. Dacus has toured with indie-rock darlings like The Decemberists and Lord Huron, and impressed festival audiences at South by Southwest and Lollapalooza. On September 9, Matador Records will re-release No Burden, with the hopes that its eight songs will catapult the 21-year-old further into the scene’s fickle mainstream.

Comprised of Dacus’ first recorded works, No Burden showcases the singer/songwriter at her most revealing. Her contralto, which she manipulates from a whisper to a cry, conveys both self-awareness and self-deprecation. Meanwhile, the band, comprised of a traditional guitar-bass-drums set-up, stretches its volume and dynamics to parallel extremes, allowing Dacus to transform from demure chanteuse to rock band leader—sometimes even within the same song. Case in point: on lead single “I Don’t Want To Be Funny Anymore,” Dacus laments “being the odd man out” and “being the biggest fan,” right before the song erupts into a guttural roar. The album’s seven-and-a-half-minute centerpiece, “Map On A Wall” opens with Dacus acknowledging her physical flaws and begging, “Oh please, don’t make fun of me / of my crooked smile and my crowded teeth / of my pigeon feet, of my knobby knees,” but the song eventually builds to a tense crescendo, Dacus repeating similar lyrics with more force and tenacity.

Sitting in a corner booth upstairs in the café, Dacus explains, “I make an effort to voice what I’m most sensitive about, because I know everyone else feels that way, too. The biggest hold-up, when it comes to insecurity, is when you think you’re alone in it. When you realize that you’re not, it’s easier to deal with. It’s just that somebody has to be the first person to break the ice of internal anxiety.”

Dacus grew up in Richmond’s neighboring town of Mechanicsville (its most famous export is Jason Mraz). She didn’t necessarily suffer from “extreme internal anxiety,” but she did drift in and out of the precarious social structures of the popular crowd in elementary and middle school. By the time she got to high school—the prestigious Maggie L. Walker Governor’s School, which is coincidentally located just down the street from the Harrison Street Café—she had found like-minded creative friends, and Richmond started to feel more like a home.

Although Dacus initially enrolled at Virginia Commonwealth University—also located near the café—to study film, she left after her second semester sophomore year to travel in Europe. Before leaving the country, she recorded what would become No Burden to help out now-bandmate Jacob Blizard on one of his college recording finals at Oberlin. It never occurred to either of them to release the recordings. “We were just going to put it on Bandcamp for our friends and family to see,” she says. “It’s the only accessible place for start up musicians to put their work.”

When Dacus returned, EggHunt Records’ co-founder Adam Henceroth saw her opening for his label’s own signees, Manatree. As Henceroth remembers, he only intended to watch Dacus for a few minutes.

“I sat in the front row like, ‘Hey lemme catch a few seconds of this before I meet this other guy backstage.’ Well, I forgot about whatever I was doing. Forty minutes later after being glued to her set, I was speechless,” he says. “The thing about Lucy is that, literally within 60 seconds of listening to her, you’re immediately drawn into her world. You’re caught in a tractor beam of sorts. She hits you square in the head and speaks to your heart.”

Both in person and on No Burden, Dacus radiates that emotional authenticity that Henceroth describes. Part of that stems from her Richmond upbringing—specifically, the fact that Dacus was adopted. That fact is a bit oblique on the record; she never sings about her experience directly. But the lessons she learned reveal themselves in certain places—the album title itself is a reminder that we are not a duty to those who love us. They reflect Dacus’ desire to seek meaningful connections, especially when we are at our most vulnerable.

“[Adoption has] totally impacted what I write, because one of first things I learned as a philosophy was that life is worthwhile,” She says, “So much so that a bunch of people had to sacrifice a lot so that I would have one. As a four-year-old, that’s what I already knew.”

The most impressive element of Dacus’ debut is that while so much of No Burden resulted from growing up in Richmond, its messages transcend the city that raised her and embraced her. And everyone from EggHunt to Matador to the fans she’s gained in the meteoric past nine months seem to realize it. “It’s real cool how Lucy has seemed to stay true to her roots,” says Henceroth. “She talks about Virginia a lot, and she never had any obligation to include [EggHunt] in her story, but she did. She comes across as really honest. You can hear it in her music. There’s no pretense. She’s not trying to be something she’s not. It’s all coming from her. That’s the magical part of it.”

(x)