#honestly feel so validated every time someone sends me an ask

[kaashikuroo]

HEYY!! This is my first request so I just came across your page and let me tell you this: I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT💗 do you mind doing a part 2 for “what breaks him”? Maybe with Oikawa, Bokuto, Hinata and Kageyama? It’s completely optional and take your time :)) don’t forget to drink water and stay healthy. Luv ya

PFFFFT. I’VE BEEN GONE FOR SOOOOO LONG.

Also, I'm sorry i can't write for Hinata or Kageyama. My brain isn't braining. 💀

What breaks him (makes him cry)-Haikyuu Reactions

Characters: Oikawa, Bokuto

Genre: fluff and angst

Warnings: Tears.

MASTERLIST

Requests? Send ‘em here!

Part 1

Oikawa

Oikawa has always wanted to be the best at what he does. Deep down he's always had that fire burning within him. But he soon came to realise that hardwork can't beat talent.

He had won a match in which he thought he wasn't playing at his best. You saw the gloom on his face when he came home. He never burdens you with his troubles but that doesn't mean he's good at hiding his distress.

So imagine the surprise when he comes home the next day to see a pillow fort in your bedroom with the tv set up. And you in his jersey.

You'd sit him down and replay his match. Complimenting him for every little thing he did.

"perfect side-step!", "That serve was so good!", "Look at them! They look so scared of you, Tooru."

Kisses and hugs all around.

Man's overwhelmed.

He's always been given gifts. Petty materialistic items to grasp his attention. But this. This is what he needed.

By the end of it, he'd have tears streaming down his face. He'd stop being cocky for the rest of the day, needing to bask in your attention. bearhugs! (⁠つ⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)⁠つ

Your love overwhelms him.

Bokuto

Words sting.

He overheard a few people address his mood swings when he plays volleyball. Calling him insufferable and what not. This causes him to fall into a mild depressive phase.

After a while he's been at home, you start to notice how he's not being himself.

"are you okay, Kou?" you ask, sitting beside him, taking his hand in yours.

"I'm fine, babe." His eyes were sad.

He was distressed.

You started tracing the lines of his hand gently. "You know you can always talk to me about anything."

He'd tell you everything after a little coaxing.

You sighed and laid back on the couch, pulling him along with you so that you could cradle his head on your chest. "They don't matter, baby. If they think that it's alright to belittle someone just because they don't feel good, they're the ones that need to leave. Your feelings are perfectly valid. You're allowed to get upset. You're allowed to feel whatever you want to because that's what makes you, you. And I love you, Kou. No matter what anyone else has to say. Fuck them. They don't know anything about you. You're so so special, baby." You'd kiss him on the forehead. "Your mood swings are a part of why i like you. You're so cute all the time, honestly." You giggle.

But all that stops when you feel your shirt getting wet.

"Kou? Babe?" He had his face hidden in your chest. But you could see he was trembling. "Wh-what happened?" You were confused.

He felt so loved. So...understood. So overwhelmed that he couldn't help the first few years that escaped his eyes. Those few years turned into streams.

"i-i love you." He sobbed into your chest, fisting your shirt. "pl-please don't ever leave me. I need you in my life." He really couldn't imagine his life without you. "Without you, I'm lost."

You stroke his hair. "I'm not going anywhere baby."

I feel like their insecurities aren't talked about much so that's why i highlighted them here.

Thanks for reading! :)

[thehusbandoden]

Can you do todoroki x f!reader when reader is self conscious

Sorry this was so short + took so long!! I hope these are what you wanted, and if not then don't be afraid to reach out to me! Have a good day love, and stay safe out there! <33

Todoroki Shoto x F!Self conscious! Reader

General info:

Genre: fluff/comfort (seems to be all I've been writing recently 😅) \\ wc: 600 \\ female reader

It is going to take a lot of time and patience to teach Shoto that you're not joking when you tell him you're self concious.

He just cannot understand that such a perfect, and gorgeous angel like yourself can feel that way.

After multiple conversations with you, Midoriya, his mom, Fuyumi, and Ururaka, he finally understood and knew how to help you.

He comforted, validated, reasured, complimented, and held you whenever you needed him to.

No matter where or when, if you told him that you needed him, he's running to get to you.

Very very sweet, and won't interupt your rambles, even if some of the things you thought were absoulutely not true, or made him tear up.

Will not tollerate any teasing or bullying towards you.

He's quiet but deadly. He'll start with sending cold glares, and when the idiot still doesn't take the hint he'll lower the tempature, still glaring at the person as he slightly steps in front of you. If they push him too far he will growl at them- and it is terrifying. The farthest he's gotten is freezing some idiotic third year in his spot before pulling you away for some cold soba.

Very protective over you- if you can't tell ^^

Daily compliments, especially targetting your insecurties/the things you're most concious about.

If you ever need space away from him he'll give it to you, but if it's any longer than three days he's going to come into your dorm room and figure out what's wrong.

Always sending you gifts with adorable hand written love letters, poems, and sometimes a long list of everything he loves about you.

If he ever accidently hurts your feelings he'll feel terrible :(

Will not stop apologizing weeks after you've forgiven him.

Puts special effort into calling you by a few of his favorite petnames: beautiful, gorgeous, pretty, and princess.

Reminds you daily how much he loves you + how gorgeous you are.

He'll spend hours telling you how much he loves and appreciates you, and will go over every single thing.

If you don't want to go somewhere, do something, talk to someone, or even see someone- he'll make it happen.

On mental health days when you just really need to take a break he'll call Aizawa to explain why he's not in class- and he actually understands; and lets it happen as long as you two aren't abusing it.

When/if you feel like doing absolutely nothing, he'll take care of you. He'll cook, clean, feed, and comfort you until you feel better.

After spoon feeding you yes, he spoon feeds you he'll pull you into his side/chest and smother you in soft, loving kisses.

If you want to hear his voice he'll softly tell you a story, talk about how much he loves you, or tell you about his day.

If you want silence, he's good with that too.

In general, he is super loving and supportive, caring and supporting you every single step you take.

He's always there when you need him, and he refuses to let someone talk bad about you, let alone let you listen to them.

He loves you a whole lot, and he honestly thinks that you are litteraly the best person in this universe.

He loves you to no end, and he refuses to ever give you up.

~~~~~

Shoto's masterlist | Navigation

You can tip me here <3

Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated <33

~~~~~

Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way -minus reblogging.

[remusawoooo]

anon here, excited to read the essay! i asked you because i really like your takes and i see people in the more canon-adjacent parts of the marauders fanbase to complain about the extremes of the fanon one, though personally ive never really seen anything Too extreme, tho thats probably just tantamount to how well i curate my spaces i suppose (ive seen people say that fanon makes remus really “alpha” or makes sirius “bimbofied” and while ive seen hints of those extremes here and there, mostly it looks like it varies from person to person. ive just seen remus be more assertive than he probably is in canon, or sirius being more dramatic and “fem” than he probably is in canon). from what i know people like exaggerating events (the prank, etc.) or shifting some personality traits, but i dont really think thats a bad thing - i personally enjoy it. as long as they dont completely turn characters into stereotypes (though its a pitfall of every fandom, i fear), then whatever its just camp.

people are allowed to criticize stuff like that though, not taking that away from anyone, i personally just dont really care enough to be totally accurate esp since this hyperfix is kind of the bottom of the barrel for me LMAO. but i ask mostly bc im just curious to see what other peoples opinions are, and bc i think - especially in a fanbase like this - that its incredibly important to be at least a little critical with your media experience and reflect on it. saying “oh fuck canon we’re just having fun” is fine and all, i dont think anyone is stopping you, i think the personalities people have made up for characters that have zero screen time are super fun and the little ships are not everyones tea but like its fine. but even still, people should be way more aware of what characters theyre dealing with and from what franchise, and like reflect on any biases you may have. if youre making shit up for a random DE character, or retconning some sutff, okay, whatever, but be sure to not defend or like suddenly turn to really weird rhetoric. idk i think its the bare minimum in a fanbase like this

i definitely rambled way too much here, super sorry op! i hope this doesnt bother you, feel free to reply or feel free to not. i just really like hearing peoples thoughts on things, and i like your takes and your blog so i hope i didnt catch you by surprise. i really am just an outsider trying to look in LOL

hello anon, I'm sorry I lost your ask. I was writing on my laptop and saved the draft (but apparently had to press on alt, and didn't do it) so I basically lost your question and half of my initial response. Ty for sending in another ask!! Not a bother at all, i find this very lovely :D 

I was mortified to find that someone who isn't really a part of the fandom was perceiving me while I was complaining about fictional characters ahahaha. still, thank you for validating me and asking my thoughts on the mischaracterization of marauders!! I do talk about it daily, unfortunately, and without any prompt too. I'll try to gather all my thoughts here. I don't necessarily come across fanon as much as I did when I reentered the fandom and honestly, I can not be more with you about curating your space !! at the end of the day, I am just here to have fun, and really, pointing out these issues is not a good time at all! But I do post a lot about these, I can't be bothered to bottle up any thoughts lol.

I think the major issue I have with current interpretations is the underlying bigotry that comes along with it. There is a lot of unchecked problematic content that doesn't sit right with me.

Flanderizing characters in fandom interpretations is not limited to marauders fandom obviously. any popular media will face this because so many of us want to interact with one character so their traits are simplified for easier consumption and to find a common ground. this is also not limited to new marauders fandom. even in the older era, leather jacket-wearing, motorbike-driving quintessential bad boy siruis was a thing. so I won't nitpick on silly simplifications.

I just want to say that this isn't about me wanting everyone to have the same interpretations as I do about the canon. I follow so many lovely people and I don't agree with all of their posts. But, we all just simply share the love for these characters in the text and form an imaginary community. So, if we were to remove all the issues I will mention, it is still very well possible to have different personal takes.

Here are some of my issues:

Queerness, Gender roles, and misogyny:

My biggest problem is the representations of queer relationships. the fandom packages these couples in a strange and obvious heteronormative mold where the individuals fit into male and female gender roles. mlm and wlw are now an “f/m”* stereotype and characterization gets affected by the ships. Heterosexual relationships shouldn't have these limitations either, anyway. There is no one way to be a woman or a man. With queer relationships in particular, we have reclaimed the word queer now but it was used to describe the unconventional weirdness in the relationship. We didn't fit into the normal portrayal of a loving relationship. So, it really bothers me, even in fiction, that queer ships are popularly consumed in a way that represents a traditional template. (*this is not about gender itself but the gender roles! f/m can very well be queer!). 

Let's take the biggest victim in this fandom: sirius.

Sirius’ portrayal concerning his gender and sexuality has heavily changed his characterization in the fanon. We have a character who is popularly headcanonned as trans and is it a coincidence that all their traits have changed from the og material? Sirius is suddenly vain, whiny, and dumb. Canon doesn't suggest this interpretation, it has to have stemmed from somewhere. It's the implicit bias. Sirius becomes a caricature of what a woman “should be”. When we focus on sexuality, there is the suddenly short twink sirius who has the same new traits- proving the point of fulfilling gender roles. These characteristics are a stand-in for the “female” role of the traditional relationship and it becomes more clear in the example of new age wolfstar. Remus is now the big alpha stoic manly man- the obvious stand-in for the “male” role. I could go on, it is apparent in the way you can see remus becomes a caretaker and sirius is taken care of.

The point I am trying to make is not to discourage gender/sexuality hc. I love them, keep them coming. But, why is female sirius not tall suddenly? It is not inherently bad at all to have a feminine and masculine pairing! But why do we need to change the constitutions of these characters to consume their relationship?

I'll keep dropping disclaimers because I hate being misinterpreted: I don't obviously mean every single person is doing this or that doing one of the things means doing the other too. 

Race:

It is related to the point above. I was personally so excited to see the popular desi james hc. Even in fanon, I have never seen such a prevalent and encouraged brown rep, it was quite sweet to come back to that. But the problem is the change of characteristics that comes with race hc. Desi james is also a manly dude who is big and buff as opposed to the white petite and delicate regulus within jegulus ship. The melanin is directly proportional to the manliness here. 

This is a propagation of race stereotypes. Maybe jegulus was a bad example because usually there are seen as blank templates. I will raise the argument that this can't be all we can come up with for blank canvases then. Either way, my point about race still stands when you repeatedly design interracial queer relationships so they fall into heteronormative roles. Anyway, same issue with wolfstar when there is a brown remus.

Canon, JKR, and hypocrisy:

Refusing to engage with source material is funny when we are picking characters out of it. the interpretations of the characters will be from their book. otherwise, they are just original characters with the same name. you can add onto the traits and a lot of the time fandom comes to a consensus regarding a few things! This is common in every fandom but I don't think I have seen such reluctance to not only critically engage with media but also shame others who do. We are surely in special circumstances with this fandom but I really do think jkr and how we navigate the fanon should be two different things.

Most of us don't condone jkr or even remotely agree with any nonsense she spews on the daily. Most of us can see the problematic nature of even consuming this media and staying in this fandom. It is one of the reasons I even left the fandom. Most of us are simply doing our best to engage carefully while distancing ourselves from her. So, it is quite laughable when some love to take the moral high ground for rejecting canon while still engaging with the same characters. (the rejection of canon in question being sirius’ height, lol)

(Sirius' height is quite a polarising fact apparently. Unfortunately, the point about height is also discussed so disingenuously. When I talk about sirius’ height, it is not really about him being 6 or 7 feet. It will not really impact my life. It is about what it represents. He is bimbofied as he becomes short. It's an issue of "WHY" again.)

Of course, this isn't an accusation of intentional bigotry from everyone here. The problem with this fandom is that the people in it tell themselves that it is progressive and to run away from the problematic creator as much as possible. We are not progressive if all we do is co-opt queer and racially diverse identities on such a superficial level. The bias manifests in subtle forms. I just wish we check ourselves from time to time, that's all. 

There is a lot of hostility when we try to discuss issues in the fanon. Things are interpreted in the most misguided way to just win the argument. Like I said in the beginning, we all just want to have a good time. That also means creating a welcoming space for vulnerable groups (especially when the same identities are used to pat yourselves on the backs for inclusivity points). I didn't even cover everything btw, I just wrote about the issues that concern me. queer and poc also partake in biased representations, I also probably have some biases that I didn't identify yet. I just think it would be super neat if everyone tried to make an effort to unlearn and engage with media without hurting anyone. 

I have other issues but they are all just super subjective opinions and smth I can ignore when others do. ex: I really don't like giving tragic backstories to bigots in the story. Not every supremacist loser has a trauma that forced them into oppressing people! There is also "tropeyfication" of all major ships. Just an overall issue in the reading world I think, though.

Anon, I didn't mean to make it preachy in any way btw. You probably asked for a silly little rant and I went full lecture mode, so I apologize for the tone shift!! I mentioned these because every other issue can be brought down to these imo. Like you said, I also don't have any fixation on everything being canon-compliant. I only complain by asking about the thought process behind certain kinds of changes, if that makes sense! I hope this wasn't a drag really and you can see where I am coming from. If I misspoke anywhere, pls lmk. Thanks for sharing your opinions too!!

This is a long long rant, anyone who read everything, you are wonderful and patient. Thank you for taking the time. This huge post and the content can make you think, “who cares this much?” or “it's not that serious” and yaa it really isn't that serious. The characters aren't real but we all are. the identities projected are real. so, it does matter to talk about this.

Everything said this is a fun place to be once you find your own corner in the playground.

[animentality]

heyheyhey idk if u know how cool and important it is to have a badass assassin story with something other than cis gays and have it be Not a Big Deal but,,, it’s literally one of the first legit published books I’ve ever found like it?? And in a genre that I love??? And written well?? And genuinely funny as fuck?? Idk I’ve never seen an enby that gets to exist without it being A Tragic Plot Point or something To Overcome so thank u??? Like so much???? I can’t tell u how much???? I definitely didn’t cry at all about it nope not even once

:DDDDDD omg, my heart started pumping faster when I saw this ask. I am always so giddy when people talk to me about my books, especially the specifics about characters and tone and things they liked!

Yeah, I wanted to include every goddamn color in the pride flag!!

Pansexual/ bisexual assassins, nonbinary demons, a transgender assassin, an unrealistic number of gay and lesbian demon summoners! That's my fantasy world. It's not talked about, because it's simply normal.

Irvine in particular I adore because I am nonbinary myself, but also because they are just so powerful, and they don't even know just how much yet!

I always disliked how many nonbinary characters in fantasy and sci fi are just token "they/them" body guards, robotic or asexual leaning non-humans, or quiet, unassuming love interests who only exist to show a character is pansexual or something.

Irvine was my love letter to my own identity because I thought hey what if there was a nonbinary character who just fucks shit up, every time they appear? What if there was an enby who just kicks ass and is sexily never showing their face, and wears a badass hood all the time?

And then Irvine was born. My little storm demon :)

Also, I don't know if you ever saw the commissioned art, but I will post it in this ask for your viewing pleasure:

so glad you love my child. my baby blorbo.

who i intend to put through the wringer, lemme tell you, because i like to put all my favorite characters through it.

So glad you find it unique too! I honestly was feeling so badly about it, after months of querying and beta swapping, and getting feedback from dozens of people who only found things to criticize as being too strange or too different or stylistically confusing.

I went through a year of being told it wasn't good, and-and I'm a little emotional and overcome with appreciation and gratitude to all the people who not only bought or downloaded the book while it was free, but who also actually read the whole thing, and found it GOOD.

Like people...think i...write well??? oh gosh. oh god.

chills.

The asks I get keep me going through this mundane, dull little world. They give me something to look forward to, in between the doldrums of normalcy...

They also validate me for thinking someone...someone out there must find this good...

Thanks for taking the time to send this ask :))) it means the world to me.

I save them all in my drafts so I can look at them when I'm sad...

Also, THANK YOU FOR NOTICING THAT THE BOOK IS FUNNY.

in between the angst and the action and the blood-filled fist fighting and crazy sniper/melee battles, there is a lot of dark comedy!

I love dark comedy. I love satire.

As much as I love being edgy, I think a story without any humor at all is unbearable.

I want you to hurt with my characters...but you should also laugh with them! Laugh at them! Be amused by their stupidity...or by their cleverness.

Be charmed by their vulnerability, but also their insane, abnormal, bizarre points of view!

AAAAH, I'm so glad you found it funny AND heart-breaking!

That is exactly what I want every story of mine to be.

Thank you thank you thank you for this ask!!

Link to referenced book here, for all the poor spectators who have to see me blubbering like a child.

Please leave a review on Amazon/Goodreads if you haven't already, but if you have, thank you for that too! Every review helps me out so much!

[thewayuarent]

Sand and his need for caring

and how Ray totally fits in

The question I ask myself a lot is: I totally understand why Ray is so attached to Sand. But why Sand was so quick in getting attached to Ray? My smart self-aware boy, how did you fall so fast so deep? You clearly see all the flags, what’s going on in you beautiful sad smart head? And that’s the answer I’ve figured out for myself.

Sand is a caretaker. Even if we don’t know about Sand a lot, we can clearly see his personality. Sand is a strong-opinionated man. He is sharp, strict and very sarcastic with his words and attitude (and I love it for him, you’re doing great hun). He is also very kind, caring and responsible person with his actions.

He is obviously a person who gives his all - but he doesn’t do it in somewhat sweet way, no. He is a kind of person who’ll tell you painful truth above soft assurances every time. And I have a feeling that not everyone in his life appreciated that.

I think about Sand as a someone who needs to care about somebody but at the same time has a fear that the care he’s so ready to give is not enough.

Look at his reaction when Nick tells him to be gentle with his favorite item.

Look at his reaction when Top brings this shit up.

Very different situations. And Sand has very different relationship with Nick and Top. But both times he’s sad and may be even hurt. I think he truly believes that he’s not “gentle” or “soft” enough for people he cares about.

And than he meets Ray. And oh, what a journey it is. We can see it since the beginning - the whole arc in ep 1 with Sand saving drunk pathetic mess of a man Ray is there (and I say it with all my love towards him). Sand is annoyed, understandably so, but he also kind of genuinely attached towards Ray very fast.

Like look at this face and tell me there is no warm feelings happening.

And I honestly don’t think that he has any form of romantic or sexual attraction towards drunk unconscious man who just threw up in his toilet. But he’s really giving “you are a mess but in a cute way” vibe. And that’s, well, interesting.

Next morning he is sarcastic and complaining and I totally get it - my man probably didn’t rest well that night and he has like 10 jobs, he needs his sleep. But he is not getting angry before Ray acts like an asshole and it’s - again - understandable.

What happened next? Ray says sorry and more importantly - thank you. And Sand melts like an ice cream in a moment.

And Ray does it again.

And again.

Not only towards things such huge as saving his life, but for Sand cooking and doing his job - and it shows again and again, that Ray is thankful for care Sand gives to him.

Ray does it in a pretty selfish manner, but he is always appreciative of what Sand does. And Sand does more. And more. And more.

And while he continues to complain he’s not-so-lowkey enjoying it. Both because that’s who he is as a person and Ray’s reaction to it.

Sand and Ray relationship and how they are (may be) good for each other. Everyone talks about how and why Sand is good for Ray and yes, he definitely is. But how Ray can be good for Sand despite all problematic tendencies my man has (and there are a lot of them. I mean A LOT)? Well, Ray makes him feel validated. And we don’t know a lot about Sand’s history or family but I feel like validation is something he misses in his life. And Ray gives it to him constantly.

This is beside the obvious reason that Ray is incredibly attractive. I mean look at this man. How are you like this I’m losing it and I’m asexual send help.

So there is a lot from “save him” going on with Sand, I would say way more than “fix him”. And it can go on a deeply unhealthy territory. But somehow they are doing not as bad as I expected.

They are not completely stuck in this dynamic, they are actively improving their relationship through episodes. I see genuine interest they have for each other. And it’s the interest that goes beyond their first impressions of “he is so lost and I am terrified but also fascinated” and “he makes up for everything that I haven’t received from people in my life before”. Even if that is a foundation of their relationship, it’s not all of it. Through ep 4 (and it’s very likely ep 5 will continue that theme) Ray stars to see Sand more as a person rather then as emotional support device.

And that’s why I am so invested in their dynamic. It’s absolutely not about them ending up together. And it’s not about them always being happy and healthy, cause, well, they are not and they won’t be. They will hurt each other undoubtedly, and that’s okay. But I have a pretty strong feeling that they will also help each other to heal. Even if only a little bit. Sometimes it’s already enough for than to start a journey through being better with yourself.

[hazelfoureyes]

I'm kicking my feet and holding back squeals right now reading the comments you're getting on those thirst asks! Honestly, I used to be a writer, but that was years ago and I've since lost both my ability (no computer) and confidence to write. I've thought about starting my own blog but since all of this is being done via mobile, I'm a little worried that said blog would flop or be written off as a bot and blocked by pretty much the entire community. And as for the confidence thing, me sending these to you was a way to test it (among other things - I wanna try to make you feel the same way we do whenever we read anything you write!). I still don't have the confidence to make a legitimate attempt or let people see this side of me (hence the anonymity), but I'm hoping that I will find it soon. This community is so amazing and filled with wonderful people, people like you, and I truly hope to be a part of it one day. In the meantime, I would like to officially ask for your permission to send these thirsts to you whenever they pop through my mind? - ☄️❤️

First of all, baby darling honey pie I only write on google docs (on my phone), posting from *Safari* (on my phone). I don’t even use the app 💀 and this blog has been well received 🥺 sooo being on mobile is not an issue

Second of all, you got me WORKED 👏 UUUUP 👏 the “take it” line has been playing in my head every time I try to rest.

My inbox isn’t worthy of it but you’re welcome to send me your dirty smut 👌🏼 I mean?? Smut delivery? Yes please ! I’ll start tagging #Smutbox and anon’s emojis for any inbox smut :) if you happen to post something I’m not comfortable sharing, I won’t post but don’t take it personally! You’re welcome to share with someone else and see if they’re down to post!

Take your time :) hobbies exist to meet a desire and if your desire is to write in anonymity for yourself or my fellow humble deer cult members then that’s just as valid as me posting my horny head canons on main 💖 one isn’t better than the other or more real. Thank you smut Santa!

Also I made this for you

[inklore]

— CELEBRATING TWO YEARS OF LOVE.

let's pretend that i posted this on the real anniversary date (july 18th) and not a few weeks late ok. but i'm still shell shocked i honestly stayed around on here for this long, seeing as how i've been on this hellsite for over ten years maybe even longer, have left many blogs and sideblogs behind, but have stayed put on here for longer than it feels. even through all the craziness and friends gained and lost. i have not grown sick of this place and i know it's all because of my mutuals (and followers) aka the most beautiful, hilarious, talented souls anyone could ask to have on their side.

whether we are friends or have never spoken i love you, i adore you. thank you for making my time spent on here worth it even when times get tough and this little hobby of ours seems more like a stressful nine to five.

@deathmotif, @authurials, @theauthorvt, +annie — hey remember when we all met on wp and i started that silly little michael langdon gc on kik and it was a dozen of us in there but then it soon dwindled down to us five and kik was on the verge of imploding and we all moved over to snap and now we literally all talk every day, if not every other??! my day isn't complete without seeing one of you sending an unhinged video in the gc. IT'S BEEN SIX YEARS with you guys in my life and you know me better than anyone. i can tell you my darkest secrets, traumas, thoughts, and there's no judgment. it's literally the most healthy friend group ever. i'm forcing ya'll to dress up as barbie's for my bachelorette party, like you're stuck with me. barbie is serious. just as serious as my love is for each and every one of you. when i think about my life and future you guys are always in it. idk if we should thank cody fern or the antichrist or both. but whoever brought us together in this life i hope they do it in the next because life without y'all would suck.

@psychedelic-ink — you should already know how much i love you, but let me remind you, let me go on for ever and tell you how special you are to me ok. when i was balling my eyes out on the phone/discord you were there to listen to me be a blubbering mess, you were there to talk me down, to listen, to validate my feelings. when i need someone to be motivating and get shit done with me you're there. when i need to rant about something horny you're there to encourage the unhinged. our discord sleepovers are my favorite thing in the world. i'm still shocked when i think back to our casual messages on here turning into a friendship so close and tight that my man spent over $100 to send you a magazine (without question) because he knows how much you mean to me. you have my heart always!

@pedrito-friskito — i have the most vivid memory of me and sil talking about you on discord and how great you were and i was like um?? i wanna be friends with kay! so after we got off of the phone i messaged you and then before i knew it me, you, and sil were in a gc together and the rest is history. i love that you and i like to disappear without a word sometimes but always come back like lol sorry but here's this love and support and encouragement and let me just life update you but also make you horny with this thought, and sil just puts up with us and i love it. ily. i'm forever forcing you to write and publish every story you write because you're going to put sjm to shame with the beauty your brain comes up with.

@tom-whore-dleston — i know i'm the worst at replying but you never make me feel bad for it. you're like 'oh yeah her adhd brain will get back to this text in 2 to 3 business weeks it's ok', and i love you for it. but no seriously ily so much. you're the first person i think of when all i can think about is dick because i know you're thinking the same thing. i know you'll understand. every time i see you post on social media i'm like wtf?? why am i halfway across the states and not with the loml right now?? it's truly unfair because i know if we were together we'd be the most chaotic, loud, sluttiest duo ever. your talent always amazes me, your beauty makes me jealous. both of our partners better watch out because i'ma run away with you one day i swear!

@chaseadrian — the fact that we grew close in a fandom that i despise now and is more toxic than not and a beautiful friendship came out of it?? iconic. every time i think about you all i can think is 'they just seems like they have everything all together, their ideas, their graphics, their mind, the way they speak is like talking to that really cool english teacher' like lmao i cannot explain how much i want your vibe. i adore your vibe. i ADORE YOU.

@greenorangevioletgrass — as one of my first friends on this little blog of mine i feel like i need to do more than put into words how much i adore you, how grateful i am to call you a friend, to be a part of your presence on here. hearing your ideas, your living breathing fic-like life is serotonin to me. like please share in the sexy wealth bestie!

@sapphireplums — when i see you in my inbox i literally get this overjoyed feeling inside me like charity thought about me today?? took time out of her day to send me something?? i'm blessed. i hope you and your beautiful mind are thriving bestie because you're literally one of the nicest, softest, people i've met on here and i'm in your corner if you ever need me. to show you love and support. to continue to convince you that your themes will always be more superior than mine!!

@rae-gar-targaryen — if success and talent and beautiful prose (and face) was an olympic sport you would have won by now. you HAVE won. we may not talk as much as we used to but just know that i always am thinking about how you are, waiting patiently for you to bless us with more of your fics (even if it's a crumb i'm like a little mouse savoring it because hello?? emily henry who? she got nothing on you). as my lawyer i love knowing if i needed you you'd be there with a simple text, as my bestie, as someone i look up to, as someone who radiates elegance and something else i can't even put into words because that's literally how you leave me, speechless: never change and know i'm always here for you.

@allaboardthereadingrailroad, @littledemondani, @wroteclassicaly — the three of you were those 'big' accounts that always intimated me. i stood in the background reading your stuff and being like ok they're going to put me out of business and then being absolutely shook when you followed me, i felt like i made it. like this was what being on here was all about having the accounts you find the most talented and amazing, and who have wrote some of your fav fics, follow you. and we may not talk a lot but i cherish you guys so so very much. like even before i made this account, on my old accounts, i've always been your #1 fans!!

@kittyofalltrades, @namorwife, @yoditopascal — i may have all but died out and disappeared from the discord server, and we may not talk anymore, but some of my best memories are with you guys. the unhinged, the thirst, the games, the rantings, i've never been more entertained and chaotic and rowdy than i was with ya'll and i love it. i miss it. ya'll are still my favorite people, my loves, my besties. one day i will be horny over the same characters as ya'll again and you'll be annoyed with my thirst again.

@eupheme, @tripleyeeet, @wint3r-h3art, @ohcaptains, @celestianstars, @flordeamatista — if there were ever a group of beautiful people i constantly compare myself to because the way they write, the way their themes look, the way their fic layouts / set ups look, their graphics, their vibes, their talent, their so many damn things: it would be ya'll. like i'm constantly like how do i get on their level? like i know there's not levels on here and everyone is so uniquely special and amazing at what they write and do and make, but i'm always in the trenches of devoting and heart eyes over EVERYTHING ya'll post. ya'll are the cool art kids i want to hangout with but instead i'm screaming in cheer in the silent museum where your creations should be showcased.

@mothdruid, @moonlight-prose, @moondirti, @angrythingstarlight, @amywritesthings, @oncasette, @withahappyrefrain, @navybrat817, @bakerstreethound, @villenelle, @refined-by-fire, @ladylannisterxo, @emerald-chaos, @mxgyver, @foli-vora, @jettia, @moreofem, @bits-and-babs, @woodlandmouth, @fluffyprettykitty, @cocoamoonmalfoy, @galatially, @ladylannisterxo, @saintlike78, @buckys-estrella, @ghostlyfleur, @arctvrvs — through the two years of me being on here i have had the pleasure, the joy, of talking to each of you. whether that be screaming in asks, inboxs, discords, pms, where we were hyping each other up, sharing ideas, support, check ups, screaming over each others fics, whatever it may be. there has been love and support and every time i see ya'll in my notfis, reading my stuff, your thirst posts or rant posts or your rbs, i'm always grateful to see it. for it. to be a part of it. but most importantly i'm like: hello why are we not closer?? why do i not bombard them with my love?? annoy them with it so much so that they have no choice but to be my bestie and feel all the doormat love and support that i'm constantly feeling when i see their little icons and usernames. so this is me both saying i adore you, ily, we may not talk as much as i wished but i'm here supporting and loving everything you do and beware that i will annoy you with my love when you least expect it and soon you'll be wishing for me to get out of your pms. you have a friend in me, a supporter, a hyper, seriously i got lucky with y'all being my mutuals <3.

there's so many other babes that i'm missing but tumblr has a tag limit so i couldn't get everyone on this list but just know ily ily literally every single one of my mutuals is a gift from god to me. you put up with my posts and insanity, i have no choice but to give ya'll my whole ass heart!!!!

[multiplicity-positivity]

Good day to all of you! I'm sure you all have received Asks like this time and time again, questioning whether someone may or may not be a system, because that's precisely what we're here for. This is less about "am I a system or not?" and more of "what makes someone a system?", because I, the host and core of our system, have been questioning my plurality spontaneously. I'm aware that system experiences vary widely, but at the same time the lack of closure really gets me questioning. With that being said, long post ahead! We appreciate insights from anyone :] ---------- To start off, I feel safe and comfortable identifying as plural; it has saved me in the most distressing time of my life, and I honestly would've been worse off if I had not been plural. The reasons why I am questioning my plurality mostly has to do with us not having the common experience: -We don't think we have an internal voice, much less know what an internal voice is supposed to be like. We mostly communicate externally (e.g. pluralkit, drawing/writing, etc.) as internal communication is VERY blurry. -Similar to above, we have Aphantasia (the inability to visualize), but we just KNOW we have a headspace. -We know headmates tend to disagree, and we definitely have had our fights before; how are you supposed to feel, internally and/or externally? To me it just feels like an average day, but it doesn't mean I don't care. -We don't know how amnesia is supposed to work in terms of plurality, but in our case we don't have it at all. The closest thing we have to it is when a headmate is informed of events that happened before their formation, which is like they know but not really?? -This is the most prominent one. Our system fades whenever the body feels safe, making me feel like a singlet again. It makes me wonder if my plurality was just a desperate coping mechanism as I never even knew plurality was a thing before being introduced to it a week before the incident that resulted in my plurality. Now, here are the reasons why I sometimes don't doubt my plurality: -We distinguish who's fronting based on the emotional effect they have on the body. I vividly remember times when I was upset, agitated, despaired, and I KNOW my emotions were suppressed, watered down, or like I was being comforted. Not of my own doing. -Similar to above, our headmates can have a major impact on the body's behaviors as long as I am not fronting. I remember when I was having difficulty suppressing stims in class and our gatekeeper took me out of front and let another headmate co-front until the end of the class. -There have been instances where a single headmate takes on the role of a caretaker, even if it's just temporary. This usually happens when I am completely alone in the system due to everyone else being dormant, so system fading isn't always 100%. -We genuinely feel a disconnect if I'm not fronting at all! Some headmates have fronted solo, and it never fails to make the body feel like a different person. Just a few days ago another headmate woke up from a nap when I was the one who fell asleep and he genuinely felt disconnected and had difficulty doing tasks. -(potential trigger warning!) Their presence is more vivid when I feel unsafe enough. I remember I was really being yelled at by my mother, I can't remember why, but it distraught me enough that I froze in the kitchen. Two headmates accompanied me in headspace, my in-sys boyfriend hugged me and sang me a tune to calm me down. ---------- Looking at this post now, I just concluded that maybe it's because I have too much of an effect on the body that it makes everyone else weaker in comparison ^^". Still, I'll be sending this in hopes that someone out there finds the closure they need; whether that would be relating to our experiences, or simply being reminded that system experiences vary widely and that theirs are just as valid! We sincerely hope every single one of you a pleasant day! <3 Take care of yourselves.

hey, no worries at all, we actually like answering these kinds of asks and we don’t mind receiving them regularly. we’ll try to answer your questions here to the best of our abilities.

what makes someone a system? being more than one or existing as more than one. that’s it. if anyone feels plural, they’re welcome to identify as such. if using the plural label brings your system comfort and safety, then you are more than welcome to keep identifying as such. plurality is an at-will label that folks can use if it fits, and discard if it doesn’t. there’s no harm in identifying as plural if you feel plural, even if that feeling doesn’t last.

- it’s okay to communicate externally exclusively. it’s okay to be a system with aphantasia. both of these things do not cancel out the possibility of plurality. in fact, we’ve written positivity posts both for systems who only communicate externally and who have aphantasia in the past.

- there is no one particular way that headmates or systems are supposed to feel. most days for us also feel like average days, even if we do often fight, discuss, or disagree. some systems may find getting along easier than others, some may not be bothered by their system’s disagreements. every system is different and there is no one right way for any system or headmate to feel.

- amnesia is a requirement for dissociative identity disorder, and we’ve written on our experience with dissociative amnesia before. it is also quite possible to experience dissociative amnesia without ever realizing it (our system didn’t know this was something we were experiencing until adulthood). but amnesia is not a requirement for plurality in general, and many, many systems exist without any amnesia between members whatsoever.

- some people genuinely do have plurality which developed as a coping mechanism. only feeling plural during times of stress is totally fine, and it doesn’t mean that you’re faking. having a system with unique or uncommon forms of presentation is not the same as not having a system at all. you still absolutely can be plural even if your headmates only show up in times of stress or hardship.

- all your reasons that you don’t doubt your plurality sound like valid plural signs to us. it’s okay to have a host or one particular member who feels more present or active than the rest. lots of systems function this way. having one member with a stronger sense of self does not negate the existence of the rest of their headmates in any way.

if you find yourself doubting or questioning again in the future, we have a couple posts which might be reassuring for you:

first is our resource post for questioning systems. even if you’re not questioning your plurality, it could still be useful to try and learn about the different forms of multiplicity and how they may manifest. we also recommend that every system, traumatized or not, should learn a bit about complex dissociative disorders, so they can rule out cdds as a possibility for themselves as well as be a better ally to their plural comrades who do have a cdd.

next is our post on dealing with denial. denial, imposter syndrome, and fear of faking are all incredibly common plural experiences. this post has some reassurances for those who are struggling with denial, and y’all may find it useful if you find yourselves in this situation in the future.

we hope this response can be a bit of a balm for your system. don’t hesitate to reach out in the future if you have any further questions - we’re happy to help as much as we can. we hope you all can take care and have a good day today :)

[my-castles-crumbling]

hello cas! how are you?

i just wanted to ask something, i dont know, maybe have a little validation? im not sure

i have and regularly use a tumblr blog, and im an active ao3 author who will often project onto characters, both because its easier to write what i know and also because it makes for good storytelling. theres one thing though that i never talk about, not on my blog and not in my writing, but i feel like i should be?

i dont remember the silly medical word for it, but theres some condition on my dad's side of the family where weve got a higher chance of going blind, and usually earlier in life than most. my aunt has it, my grandfather had it, my older brother has it, and i have it. i didnt know my grandfather bc he died before i was born, but i know it only started affecting my aunt a little into her 50s, though it was much earlier for me and my brother (hes 27 and has about 50% of his vision, and im 20 and have about 70%, and for both of us what we have is also very blurred)

again, its not really something i talk about. ive been learning braille for when the inevitable comes (so far ive learned the alphabet and common conjunctions i can expect, so now im moving onto becoming more comfortable and confident feeling it all out) and honestly im pretty okay about it. its not that ive given up, im just... neutral? i have my peace with it. im working with what ive got or whatever, i dunno

but i feel like i should be... doing something with it? like, sharing my experience or using my writing to create representation. im always reading about people projecting their disabilities onto characters (especially remus, in place of his lycanthropy in muggle aus) like deafness, or epilepsy, or chronic pain, or migraines, but i rarely read about blind characters/sight impaired characters, and i just wonder like... should i be writing that? should i be doing something?

i dont know if this even makes sense haha. i just feel some sort of obligation to talk about it, but especially because i already project onto my characters with my mental health issues etc it almost feels like id also be writing about myself *too* much? it feels like theres no winning

im also sort of nervous that if i *did* bring it up on my blog now, that people might think im just making it up or something because ive never mentioned it before. i also dont know everything about it, and if people asked me something i didnt have an answer to, im afraid of that too. as though just because im losing my vision i should know every single thing there is to know about blindness. its silly and i know that, but it still makes me nervous to talk about it after all this time

Hi! <3

I understand why you feel this way, but please know that you don't owe anyone anything just because you have a disability. You're not obligated to be an activist or educator, in any way, shape, or form. There are plenty of aspects of my life I choose not to talk about and boundaries I draw when it comes to talking about my life on tumblr, and that's okay! Nobody who is part of a group that needs representation has to be the person to create that representation. For example, while I work to create trans representation in my writing, I choose not to address a lot of my childhood trauma. Sure, I could write about having a parent who is an addict, but I choose not to, and that's a choice I'm allowed to make, just as you are!

However, if you DO choose to talk about it and someone accuses you of faking? 1. Ew. Block them. 2. Send them to me. That's horrible and they need to be yelled at.

Naming you validation anon

[bigalockwood]

Hey hey Lia 💜,

I only just realised that you were doing the fanfic asks, so I am a little late, but I am wondering about 8,17, 18, 27, 29 and 37 ( I know these are a lot of numbers, so feel free to just answer the ones you want to)

Wishing you a so wenig stressig wie möglich weekend!

Sophia thanks for sending so many!! I love talking about writing 💜💜💜

8) Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

This took me ages to decide. I'm actually not even proud of it because I think it is necessarily particularly well written, but because it's a topic I have very strong feelings about and it felt so validating when I saw how many people resonated with it!

“No, you misunderstand, they didn’t out me. They just asked me about my sexuality and, you know, it was necessary. It’s the sort of thing they’d have to ask me for damage control.”

“Wille, I get that your life can be sort of strange at times and that it often follows different rules and all that, but that is, by definition, still what it means to be outed. I’m glad it didn’t feel like another violation of your privacy to you, but they still shouldn’t have done that,” Simon said, vehemently.

[...] “I’m sorry. I wished people stopped acting like they have any right to know our sexualities. [....]

17) Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

Depends on the story! Royally Whipped I'm mostly writing in order since I don't have much time to write the chapters, so I'll only write down ideas for future scenes. For my new WIP I've written parts of different chapters already. In the chapters themselves I jump around and hardly every write one in chronological order.

18) Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

No. I have a very, very rough outline, but it mostly only has specific scenes or emotional stages I want to write towards. I never keep to any outlines and overthrow them within minutes after making them, so I no longer bother with them lmao.

27) How do you feel about collaborations?

I did one ages ago, when I was still in school. It was a lot of fun and I'd definitely be open for it again, but it certainly takes up more time and you need someone you can trust in.

29) If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

Honestly? The answer is none, just because I don't think I could do any of my favorite stories justice. Not because I think my writing is bad, but because I love them as much because of the special something they have thanks to the author who's written them. Wouldn't say no to a sequel or prequel written by them though asfdhsfdkja

37) Talk about your current wips.

I've briefly talked about my next projects here. But my BIG WIP's right now are Royally Whipped which is very close to being done (probably two more chapters) and then #Simon's revenge.

Some people have been asking for a social media chapter for RW, which is extremely flattering, and I love reading those, but don't even know how to begin putting one together. So, that might happen, if I ever get my shit together (or someone else volunteers to do it ahsjfdasj).

Simon's renevge is a AU where Wille isn't Prince (still rich tho) and meets Simon under... interesting circumstances. Simon is seeking revenge on someone else and poor Wille becomes emotional collateral damage. It'll be less fluffy than RW, though hopefully just as fun. It's very gremlin!simon (channelling all his dodgeball energy). I have a moodboard that I might post soon and maybe some snippets leading up to it's release, if anyone's interested.

[celeste444spacey]

IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY

Hey guys, i made a post and i took it down cause i think it could have come across in a wrong way to people and it wasn't intended to be that way.

So this could be a really long post since i'm getting to what i meant in depth. Not really a manifestation post either, more of a mindset and growth one i guess.

TW: If you are someone who is experiencing/ has experienced any trauma, this could be a sensitive topic for you. Please take care babes. Sending heaps of love your way.

I do mean this post in a reassuring way.

Please don't feel like your trauma, pain and experiences are invalid. Please do share them, ask for help, cry and feel them if you must, there is nothing to be ashamed of.

YOU ARE POWERFUL REMEMBER THAT.

So, it hurts, i know it does, i don't care if it's a big way u have been hurt or a small way. It's valid, that pain is real, yes.

But i'm here to say, it doesn't have to be that way.

You are a victim or maybe you feel like one.

Look at one of the definitions of victim

a person who has come to feel helpless and passive in the face of misfortune or ill-treatment.

It's being powerless, hopeless, helpless whatever it may be. It's having your power taken away.

It probably feels like your bad experiences, your pain, your problems and your trauma haunts you. It feels like no matter where you go, what path you take, the triggers can show up like ghosts of the past.

It's scary and it's miserable. Not a feeling you would wish on ANYONE.

And it's so so hard to move on right? It feels like you cannot. It feels like no matter what this pain will continue to define you.

And here's what i want to say. TAKE THE POWER BACK.

You stop suffering when you realize your power. And it might take a while. And i don't care how big your problem is or how small, they control you only when you let it.

You know as someone who was severely depressed and anxious, who had just gotten into manifestation at the time, one thing i have learnt?

My mind. It can be my sworn enemy or it can be my right hand woman.

Through manifestation, mindset shifts, and faith and hope, I found out that we have more control over our internal world than we often realize.

I was suffering academically, and some personal stuff in life wasn't working out for me. It was also the pandemic and shit was like really really bad. I don't want to get into my personal things cause i don't feel comfy sharing it.

I had a predicted score of like 62%. It was so not enough. I was a sophomore and in my country, the grades really really matter that year.

I decided to manifest: Grades and the stuff in my personal life to resolve. It took fucking months okay? Things got REALLY worse. REALLY REALLY. I didn't give up. I refused to. I couldn't accept this reality when i knew my potential. I just didn't want shit to be this way anymore

Took months but finally, one good day in the first week of august, it all resolved. All of it. Almost a year later.

I got 92% which was exactly the grade i scripted. Things in personal life got resolved. Every pawn on the chessboard fell right into place.

Did that mean the pain left me? No, there were triggers, yes. There were moments, but i did decide to move on, honestly not completely over shit yet.

MOVING ON IS LIKE, HELL BUT IT'S SO WORTH IT

It is like really tough to move on, i know, it takes time. Could take weeks, months, years to move on. You might relapse into the darkness, maybe you won't.

But is it worth it? Yes. Is it important? Absolutely.

It is so easy to go down the road of feeling like it's always gonna be this way, giving up, self loathing and stuff. It's so not worth it though, cause it comes at the cost of what you deserve, and that is a beautiful amazing life.

When i say don't be a victim anymore, you know what i mean?

Stop seeing yourself as someone powerless, as someone who has nothing good meant for them or someone who deserves to be in pain.

I mean start seeing yourself as this badass person who went through the most ruthless of circumstances but still pulled through. It took her time but goddamn she did it. She is strong, brave and courageous. She took help when she needed to. She realized her self worth. She speaks out and only accepts the best for herself.

You are so worth of EVERY SINGLE UNIT OF LOVE THERE IS ON THE WORLD

You are so worth every hug, every blessing, every opportunity there is on this planet.

YOU ARE FUCKING POWERFUL MY LOVE, SO FUCKING FULL OF POTENTIAL AND LIFE AND JOY AND LOVE

And the best fuck off you can give to your problems, the people who inflicted pain on you is growth. It's taking back your power, taking control of it and saying

Hey this is MY fucking life you bitch

[flystill]

hi can i ask which newmann fics you wld recommend 👉👈 (saw your tags on that one post abt quality fandom fics)

my dude, my new bestest bestie, every day i wake up and DREAM someone will ask me this question. I will say, I have two central favorites, and there are some other greats you can find via the usual methods on AO3 [eg. Anthology is objectively very good although it's not my personal favorite favorite]) They are both extensive reads, so if you haven't read them, they should keep you busy for a while. If you have read them, then sorry this post will definitely come off like a bad infomercial and you can dm me to discuss further or something.

Anyway, both of these are continuations of Newt and Hermann's stories post-Pacific-Rim-2013, bc I started reading this stuff a decade ago (and tbh I just ignore uprising's existence in my personal canon but absolutely zero shade to those who love it [so valid!]). Anyway, here we go with the infomercial:

The pièce de résistance, my raison d'être: Designations Congruent with Things (downloadable here as pdfs, or i can send you like an ancient AO3 pdf, there are other options if you ask the right people) There is A LOT going on here. This fic has a prequel and a sequel, they're all part of a whole multiverse that is the the inimitable writing of cleanwhiteroom. There's fanart, there's a real band that's created the music of a fictional band, there's UC Berkeley, there's mind reading, there's love, there's loss, there's use and well-informed misuse of the works of René Descartes and quantum mechanics. This is the fic of all fics in my eyes. No way I can capture it in my paltry words, go read it, Out of Many Scattered Things, and Aftermath if you have any interest in newmann or honestly well-written science fiction in general.

Occam's Razor by BlairRabbit. I love this fic. SUCH a soft spot for the original characters in it. Every time I think of a nuclear cooling pool or a church altar, I think of this fic (for better or for worse). Where all the action of DCWT is sans-Jaegers and predominantly outside the PPDC, this one takes place right in the totally awesome fast-paced world built by GdT. Admittedly, I don't reread this one as often as DCWT, but it's got this vibrant and warm-hearted quality that's hard to forget. (AO3 link here)

So, let me know if this helps! I tried to be informative of the 'vibes' without telling too much of the plots. I'm sorry, I tend to filter AO3 with a >~80k word minimum and I love physics (this probably shows in both these recs), so if those are not your cup of tea, i apologize for unhelpfulness. Genuinely, DCWT left an indelible impact on my psyche, so if I can help even one other person find that kind of connection to a story (any story), it would feel a job well done.

Happy reading!

[golbrocklovely]

you know, I thought i might of been annoying with the amount of asks i send you, and that still might be true but people apparently love me… so im sticking around 😂 gotta build this aussie anon fandom… buy the merch (its just a tshirt with koala ears on the anon icon and ‘xplr me daddy’ across the shoulder blades)

also absolute fkn ditto to your post abt snc needing a villain era. especially colby. I learnt just the other day that apparently he goes thru this m drama every time he’s snapped with a girl. like every time, for years. that’s gotta be so horrible. like imagine being the constant reason your friends or dates get harassed online just for being around you. you’d feel like poison. i truly hope he finds someone who couldnt give two flying quacks abt that stuff. heck, if it were me (lemme dream, alright) and i knew this wasn’t just a once off thing… i was going to say my acct would be private and i’d have ‘message from strangers’ turned off… but i already have all that… Colby, I’m ready!!! lmao i jk i jk (or do I 👀)

anyway, back to colby fighting in the clubs. you said he’s possessive… im curious about that. like in a protective way over the people he cares about, or actually like “this is my person, back off” type? either way, hella shmexxyy

- aussie anon

omg this is such a long response so i'm sorry in advance lol

haha no you're totally okay to keep sending in asks. no one has a problem with it, especially me :)

and omg an "xplr me daddy" shirt would be hysterical and i'm surprised they haven't done one (even jokingly) before lol

and yes, it's not just girls colby is interested in either. it's EVERY girl - date, friend, stranger - it doesn't matter. if fans can find out who she is, they will send her hate. or at the very least bombard her with questions as to how she knows colby, what's he like, ect. it's honestly very embarrassing to be in this fandom sometimes strictly bc of that type of shit.

i've talked about how i've felt on colby's love life ad nauseum on here, but i don't mind speaking on it more. i genuinely believe this fandom needs a HUGE reality check. bc there are too many ppl in this fandom that believe they have a say in what he does with said love life. and now it's bled over into sam's.

the golden child apparently can do wrong now lol

like on xplrclub, they literally APOLOGIZED (half-heartedly, but still said sorry) for the pics of them with the girls leaking over new years. and that's just fucking bonkers to me. there is no reason two 27 year old men should be saying sorry to a bunch of random girls they have never met before and don't even know exist bc they are going out and having fun and dating. and what makes it worse is snc felt the need to do this. they don't need to explain anything to us, especially about their private lives.

and the amount of fucking fans i saw saying "well if you wanted to have a private life, keep it private. don't post things." and it's like…… idk how many times i have to say this, but SNC ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. them not telling you about a girl they are fucking with is not a betrayal. they don't know you. they couldn't even pick you out of a line up of two ppl. stop thinking your opinion is neccessary, especially when it comes to their personal lives. you aren't owed an explanation. idc if you've been in this fandom for years, given them tons of money, have a fan account dedicated to them on every site, repost their content all the time - NONE of that matters. you are a random person, you are a statistic. a view count. and while yes, snc care about us, that doesn't mean they KNOW you or that your opinion is VALID.

you wouldn't like a random person coming onto your account and bitching at you about your life choices, right? so why do you think snc deserve that? bc they're public figures? NOPE, not a good enough reason. you want to bitch at them about content and the choices they make on that? that's fine. but private, personal shit they do is none of your concern or business.

and i know there are plenty of fucking ppl that will call me a hypocrite bc god forbid i talk about snc's love lives - but reality is i know my opinion isn't worth shit. i'm not coming up into their comments, @ ing them every chance i get, just to give them my two cents. i do my best to keep it light hearted and silly. none of what i talk about is serious or direly needed info. which is also why i do it on a site they aren't privy to. they're not on here. me complaining into the void doesn't effect them. and i'm also extremely aware of the fact that i don't know everything. i don't know the full story, never will, and i'm not OWED it either.

sorry, that was a really long rant. but i'm just…. so done with the fandom rn lol i've been reading ppl complaining for too long about shit they don't deserve to complain about and it's just annoying at this point.

but to bring it back to your ask - i hope colby, and sam too, find a girl that fucking PARADES that she's dating him. of course, with colby or sam's consent. if i was dating one of them, i would rub in these fans' faces, and i mean that wholeheartedly. aww, you're upset i'm fucking your man? TOO BAD WOMP WOMP lmao

and as for colby being possessive, he's said it in some tweets in years' past. he's tweeted out before "Im such a protective, jealous person wow" and "I'm overly protective" followed by someone asking him "so that means if you had a girlfriend you'd protect her a lot" and he replied with "protect her with my life". so, i see him as being a very loyal person, who is protective of the ppl he deems as "his", so to speak.

in a relationship, my guess is that while he's not obsessive or demanding, he is very much like "you are my girlfriend". i don't see him to be the type to say you can't talk to this guy or be friends with these ppl, nothing like that. but he reads to me like the type to keep his arm around you while at the club, that way any guy that sees you know you're taken by him.

also side note, i know as a woman i should be like i'm my own person, i'm no one's but my own, blah blah blah. but a guy that's just a twinge bit possessive is hot. i'm sorry, it's my red flag and i know it is sksksks

[faaun]

Hi! First of all, I think you’re asking for advice but I’m not entirely sure so if you’re just venting, feel free to completely ignore this message!!!

Having said that, I’ve followed you for a while and I tend to read your personal posts and from an outside perspective it feels like you’re running into similar problems repeatedly. I’m not saying you should break up with your partner. I just want to say that every reason you might have for doing so is valid. You’re not only allowed to break up with someone if they’re mean to you or the relationship is toxic. And it might probably never feel like a perfect decision because these kind of decisions suck. But at the end of the day you have to take care of yourself and make sure you can thrive as much as possible and be happy in and with the life you’re currently living. And sometimes that may take making decisions that hurt :(

Again, not saying you have to take this advice to heart. But when I was in a similar situation (looking back on it now) I honestly wish someone flat out told me it’s okay (and possibly better) to break up with someone even if there’s no “big reason”. Whatever you choose to do, I’m sending you a lot of strength and wishing you luck. You will get through it <3

hi !! you sent this ask ages ago but i kept it for so long because it kind of applied increasingly more and more and i needed to look back at it and reevaluate every once in a while...thank you so much for this advice it is incredibly meaningful ♡ it's a comfort to know i won't be a horrible if i break up with someone who isn't actually mistreating me, with no big drama, it just...doesn't feel quite right. i hope it doesn't make me horrible, at least. i think it's nearly time to make that decision.

it's a lot harder than when everything is wrong in the relationship bc the love and gentleness and warmth is still all there, it's just not sufficient, i don't feel as in-love as i should. i hope i can make the right choice when it comes to it and thank you so much for sending this ♡

[mint-yooxgi]

You are welcome to publish this or not as you see fit but please understand my point is about detaching your criticism of my recommendation style which you are welcome to make from the list of authors. Their names do not deserve to be dragged around on a post where you are in a completely one-sided beef with me.

I removed the link to your masterlist because I no longer felt comfortable sending readers your way. While the quality of your stories has not changed, I take the whole presence of an author into consideration. You asked me to see you as a person not a product and this is me doing that. Reading over your asks about the "cringe anon" (even once corrected that it was not about me) still left me saddened to see you joining the askers in making fun of someone's assumed talents, spelling, and denigrating "hoes" when here we are reading stories celebrating people who sleep around. These are not attitudes I wish to expose my readers to in the service of sending them to a story they might like.

From the very beginning of my reaching out to you as a consideration once I was aware you would like to know you have been spoken of positively, you have been wrong about my motives every single time. I will not go into the multiple reasons why I actively choose not to ping writers because you have not seemed open to listening that there could be a reason for my decision equally grounded in being respectful to writers.

I really liked the stories of yours that I had read but will now never be returning to. You lost a reblogging fics with multiple paragraphs reader enthusiastic about your writing over the aggressive way you have spoken to and about me. Please know that despite this I still sincerely wish you well although I am no longer among your followers.

Elizabeth

I still feel like we're missing the point here. I asked for basic respect for all authors on that post regarding properly tagging us beside links showcasing our own writing. At this point, NONE of those authors have yet to be tagged, so I doubt they're being "dragged around" as you've so put it here. My bet is three quarters on the list don't even have a clue about what's going on, and I bet most of them would agree with me about appreciating a tag beside their hard work.

Taking the whole presence of the author is completely valid. I understand that. Like I said before, I asked to be seen as a person through a proper tag, and explained my reasonings why on your post. I'll reiterate them here. Oh wait, I explicitly stated being seen as a person vs. a product on this post: Why You Should Tag Authors in Your Fic Rec Posts. A general post, not aimed at you, but as a general callout to people who don't tag authors in their fic rec posts. I'm sorry you believed that was directed at you, but honestly, at this point... if the shoe fits, don't wear it.

Additionally, I never once thought, implied, or suggested you were being the 'cringe anon'. You were the first person to bring that up, to which I replied to immediately both to your original comment, and with a post. Here's a link to the post, where you can also find the original comments which I provided as screenshots.

I feel like it's also important to mention that this is my blog. If I get a rude anon telling me that my writing is "cringe" and then another anon following it up by calling ME a "dumbass hoe", I have every right to reply to it in a manner that I see fit. Whether it's by making a meme out of it, because honestly, it was utterly ridiculous, or by replying with something else, that's entirely up to me. You definitely don't have to agree with how I handle it, but you also have to recognize that if someone comes onto my blog and shits all over me, I'm not going to take that lightly. My friends won't, either. Whether you agree or not... okay, sure. Good to know you believe I should let people who send hate anons walk all over me and my writing without sticking up for myself.

Never once has a conversation been opened by either or us, and I do take accountability for myself for not reaching out, to discuss why you won't give the basic curtesy of tagging authors in your fic rec post. I just assumed it was such a basic thing, that I didn't think such an issue would arise from it. To me, it takes the same amount of time to add a comment tagging me to a post my own writing is linked on, as it does to actually tag me properly in said post. Then again, I actually think making a comment is more time consuming, especially when the post already exists and is already formatted.

I truly don't understand what's so difficult about adding an @ in front of an author's username. Yet, here we are. All this says to me is, "I don't want to tell writers I'm sharing their work, fuck letting them have this sort of feedback." It's even stranger when I know you had no issues previously reblogging my fics and adding beautiful paragraphs of feedback to them. I guess tagging on a fic rec post is too difficult. Oh, well.

Was I aggressive in my tone. Probably. I did my best not to be, and I do apologize if it came across that way. At the end of the day, I know I'm not the only author upset by this whole ordeal, and honestly, since it's turning into such a big deal to offer authors basic respect, you have my regards.

[shroomgal]

Were we really soul tied or was it just limerence?

This is based off of my own research and experience.

About three years ago i matched with this guy on tinder. He wasn't particularly striking. White, shaggy dark brown hair, big nerdy glasses and brown eyes that caught me off guard a little. I swiped right and we matched instantaneously. We talked here and there for about two weeks, sending selfies back and forth, playing the weird game that is snapchat, which is so fucking normalized for whatever reason. (like really, why are we sending blank photos of to each other with no context or conversation ??) Anyways, two weeks in was when the situationship started. A situationship is the stage between friends with benefits and a relationship. Situationships can feel like limbo, never knowing if it will surpass where its currently at. I was drunk at a club, shaking my ass to the latest 2021 trap hits. He asks me to hookup, and I honestly just needed the validation. My friend drives me 15 minutes to his place, where I meet him in his big white range rover in the parking garage of his apartment building. From there, he tells me I'm beautiful in person. I've always had a soft spot for that word. Beautiful. I didn't hear it about myself too often. When he said it, it felt true. And genuine. We had sex.

I started talking to him daily through our snapchats, enamored by our first night together. He would come over, we would hang out, smoke, fuck, watch tv, be human. I developed a bond with him where I felt comfortable in my own skin. I felt comfortable to show him parts of my personality other people didn't normally see. The obsession grew. He took me to a smoothie shop this one time, we held hands. I thought for sure he was my next boyfriend, maybe even my last if I played my cards right. I envisioned a life with him, where I was comfortable, and happy, and me.

One day, after a month of us hanging out, he cancelled on me. Then he cancelled again. Eventually he just stopped responding to me via snapchat. I knew I was getting ghosted, but it was more heart wrenching this time. It was like he was squeezing my heart into knots, watching the blood pour out. When I found out it was because there was someone else, that hurt even more. When I saw he had superliked my best friend on tinder, thats when a part of me crumbled.

On and off these memories of us floated around in my head. This perfect thing that had suddenly vanished, and at that, he had shown interest in the person i loved and trusted the most. Knowing she was in my life. The questions danced in my head, taunting me with every blink. "How did he lose interest so quickly? Things seemed so real and normal." "Why does he want my best friend and not me?" "What am I doing wrong?" These questions and comments on myself mocked me.

I decided to try and win him back. If he wanted mentally ill and crazy, oh, I was gonna give him just that. I played the crazy obsessive ex role. Texting him and calling him, mostly just dumb pranks and me begging for him back the most unserious ways i could. Sometimes he would add me back, we would sext and he would block me again in the morning. But after a while, I met someone else, and gave up.

Thats when he stepped back in. He added me on snapchat, I ignored it. He unadded me and then added me back. I ignored him. He then proceeded to spam like my instagram photos, determined to get my attention. This was now different. He was chasing ME this time. It was tempting, especially since my relationship at the time had been sailing south. But i declined his offers, and went on with my life until,

My relationship ended. All of the sudden, I was back on the obsession train. The thought of him plagued my mind. His hair, his glasses, his voice, his eyes. Everything. The game continued, he would unblock me, we would sext, he would block me in the morning. Eventually I guess this game got old to him because suddenly my texts wouldnt deliver at all, even after a few days. I've stopped myself from reaching out since I called, not expecting a response, and he told me to move on.

Now, my question was, was i really connected to this man, or was I just led into delusion? Well, I fully believe I was a victim of BPD limerence. I do NOT think that we had any sort of soul tie at this point, despite all the angel numbers I've seen in regards to this. I think he's just a shitty guy at this point who liked my hot girl obsession. I think I unfortunately gave him exactly what he wanted, and for that i say to myself: GIRL STAND UP!!!!! In conclusion I am insane and I need to stop letting men take over my brain. At the end of the day, I am authentic. And me. And I have SO much, with or without this man in my life.