#honestly i dont want to go to school and socialize with everyone

[leafostuff]

Insecurities [Ft. Fromis_9 Jiheon]

Tags: Fluff, Monologue-ish, Girlfriend!Jiheon, Established relationship

Author Notes: no notes we ballin, random idea

=================================

Insecurities are something everyone deals with in their daily life, from looks to social life to achievements, everyone has their own stuff that they dont feel good about themselves

And you are not any different, yours however come from a different source then others: Baek Jiheon, your best friend since highschool, your personal sunshine and...your girlfriend.

Who knew that you would actually have the balls to ask out your best friends on the last day of your senior year, and who knew that she will actually say yes instead of putting you in the dreaded "friend zone".

Comparing yourself and Jiheon is like comparing the burning sun to the cold moon, like an elegant ballet dancer to a bouncy hip-hop dancer, like- OK OK you get, you both are completely different from each other

Jiheon is the sun, always talkative, very sweet, always excited to be with people (especially being with you), as your classmate she was one of the popular girls in school while also being one of the top students, while you...

Well...you were nothing like her, nothing compared to her.

You are not the smartest

(another refresh, probably for Like the 1000th time, adrenaline is an all time high as you were waiting for your college professor to finally send the scores to your computer science exam.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity the scores are finally updated and well...while 60 wasn't too bad, you ended up passing but...it wasn't far from failing.

It honestly sucked, especially since you were working extra hard to get a high score in this exam only to get a 60 which will definitely lower your avarage

A sigh comes from your mouth as you let your head rest on your table, hands on your temple trying to relax yourself from that abysmal score...)

Not the prettiest

{"Are you sure that is necessary Jiheon? I look so stupid in this" you say, the embarrassment is clearly felt from the other side of the isle

"Have i ever told you to do something that isn't?" You can think of a couple moments, a lot actually but it's not like you could ever say no when she gives you her pleading smile. "Now come here and let me see it".

You swipe , revealing yourself to your best friend, on your head now a headband of wolf ears, your cheeks now fully red from embarrassment, Jiheon covers her mouth and her eyes widen in surprise.

"What?" you ask in an annoyed, monotonous voice.

"oh n-nothing" she answers, now looking away however second by second she breaks down, first a giggle, then a small chuckle and in the end she cant contain herself any longer, now fully laughing, almost falling to the floor from how you look.

"SEE?! I TOLD YOU IT WAS STUPID" you respond, even more embarrassed than before as you now turn away from your best friend}

["ahhh finally, the weekend is here" Jiheon says, stretching herself while both of you getting out of your last class of the day, moving toward the exit as your best friend walking backward, facing you with a bright as usual smile

And not the most social person

"wow, I never thought you would be happy about going home from school" you reply, occasionally checking to see that she doesnt stumble into someone that she doesnt see.

"just because i enjoy studying doesn't mean i don't want the week to be over" she exclaims, doing a 180° turn to now face the same direction as you, now walking forward.

"Like seriously, who in the staff let Professor Park teach in the last class of the day, of the WEEK?" She asks rethorically

"maybe they want to make you enjoy the weekend even more?" You jokingly say which makes both of you laugh, as both you head toward your lockers a familiar group waits there.

"Oh, Yuna, Yujin, Sungho" Jiheon says, giving both the girls a quick hug, and a high five to Sungho as you could feel yourself getting nervous

"Were heading to the Arcade, Yujin THINKS she can beat me at Air Hockey" Sungho says, looking at Yujin with an excited look.

"im not saying i think i could beat you, i WILL" she corrected him before turning toward Jiheon again, "Wanna Join?" She asks

"Sure, sounds like fun" she answers, now turning herself toward you "you're' coming?" She asks, however as you were about to answer Yuna starts to speak over you

"Oh sorry, don't get me wrong but...he isn't really our friend, he is kind of like...your +1" Yuna says, not even turning to look as if you were invisible, you were now looking at your locker, trying to hide your embarrassment.]

Those moments always come to your mind whenever you look at yourself in the mirror after you take a shower, or at night when you lay on your bed, thinking about if you made the right decisions in your life to get where you are now.

However, as you look back at those moments in a clearer mind, you realise that with a person that loves you

(You suddenly feel a hand on your hair, lightly patting it, looking up and see its Jiheon, now in her sleeping attire as her smile beams at you.

"I know how hard you worked for it..." she says, before leaning downward as you can feel her lips giving your right cheek a quick peck before continuing to talk

"im proud of you" she adds, as you stand up she opens her arms, signaling you to come and hug her, with a happy face you happily oblige)

Cares about you

{"No no no you don't look stupid" she says, trying to calm her laughter.

"It's just that you look so...cute with those wolf ears" your cheeks turn rosy pink as Jiheon's hand finds itself on your shoulder, "I really mean it" you could feel your face turned from embarrassed to now happy, "Omg wait i have an idea"

She walks toward another box of costumes, pulling out a pair of fox ears, "We HAVE to take selfies with those" she grabs her phone with one hand while her other hand goes behind you back, letting herself side hug you

"Smileeee" she cheerfully says while raising her phone camera}

And lets you be the best version of youself

["I see" Jiheon says, her voice sounds disappointed her eyes tries to find yours that hide behind the locker door.

"Well, if my '+1' isn't coming..." she says to her friends as suddenly her hands grab yours, pulling you toward her before continuing to speak

"Then i am also not coming" Jiheon exclaims, you could see her face getting annoyed as she looks at them, but not before turning her gaze at you, now giving you a warm smile, her eyes giving you a look that says 'I got you']

You realise how those thoughts about yourself are not real, that even with those insecurities. And as you turn your gaze to Jiheon, your sunshine with her asleep while her right cheek lays on your chest while her arms wrap themselves around your waist, you can't help yourself but smile while thinking...

Maybe those insecurities never existed at all

=================================

As of today i am 20 years old so birthday fic i guess

Dedicated to @erospandemos

[cabbi3]

i really miss drawing and being silly thinking about my blorbos

[slimeylee]

why have these last years fucking sucked ass

[chiritori]

im so scared im not going to pass my classes this semester

[pinkpigtailsprincess]

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ The Advice Column Issue No.1 ; How to deal with fake friends while balancing school life 🎀🧁

Hii Dolls!!!⭐️ This is officially the first issue of my Brand new segment The Advice Column!!!! and i chose the topic fake friends bc as someone who’s had an alarming amount of fake friends in the past i can definitely give endless advice in this topic and its a collab with the @honeytonedhottie !! bc i thought she could also give so really good advice!!🎀⭐️

Are you struggling with keeping up in your studies? worried if your friends are talking behind ur back? Stressed? Feeling like school and socials are just to much??? DONT WORRY!! Dolly n Honey are gonna save the day!! 🎀⭐️

Section 1 ; Honey!!🍯

how to balance ur school and social life (in bullet points) !! 🎀🧁

- make a list of priorities and stick to it like its a handbook

- practice saying no to events and saying no to excessive studying, the key is to find an equilibrium

- combine social and academic events

- make sure to use ur time wisely and do whats important first, so that then u can have loads of time for ur social life!

Section 2 ; Dolly! 🎀

No.1 ; Stand up for yourself!! ⭐️

if ur so called “friend” is constantly make smart remarks about you,scrutinizing you for the smallest thing,being passive aggressive or really just trying to hurt your feelings always stand up for yourself and never let insult like that because that shows that you have no self respect and then they’re gonna just keep doing it set clear boundaries and don’t be a doormat never let this person/people walk all over you , if you didn’t appreciate something they said don’t take shit from them address and make sure it never happens again

No.2 ; spotting a secretly fake friend⭐️!

now there’s obviously “friends” that you can spot from a mile away that they’re definitely toxic but theres also a certain type of friend that could be the sweetest to ur face but secretly talk shit behind ur back and its honestly not that hard to spot one of these “friends” so here are some characteristics of ‘the secretly fake friend’

- never sticks up for you

- constantly lying

- at time can be very passive aggressive

- will tell you that someone was talking about you and not defend you at all

- will make you feel like a bad friend even if they’re wrong in the situation

- if you’ve ever confronted them on their behavior and they say they’re sorry but then repeats the same actions

- lets their other friends talk shit about you

- HUGE VICTIM COMPLEX!

these kinds of fake friends are tricky bc you really can’t spot them at first and then it can be harder to cut them off which brings me to my next point

No.3 CUT THEM OFF !!⭐️

listen i know its hard to let go of these people at first im mean I’ve had to do it multiple times but i swear it gets sooo much easier to not have these people in ur life its way better to have no friends than a bunch of friends thats secretly hate you don’t stay caught up on toxic people like this its a waste of ur own peace and well being , block them,stop following them,stop talking to them have NOTHING to do with these people/person

No.5 ; Ur not special !!

now this title is a bit alarming but what i mean by that is if you have a friend that’s constantly talks down about people for no reason whether it be their friends or someone they know and im not talking about the standard gossip talk bc tbh everyone gossips but im talking about like drags them through the mud calls them mean names and purposefully spreads rumors about other people they’ll do it to do you as well ur not special i doesn’t matter what this person is telling you they’ll talk about any and everyone it doesn’t matter people like this do not care

No.4 ; Being Un-phased !! ⭐️

now after you cut them off either gonna

A. make it seem like they’re innocent and have been nothing but nice to you and try and make you feel bad

B. Act like theirs beef when in reality theres not they just want a reason to start a problem

C. to the standard mean girl remarks side eyes,whispers,random pointing and slightly laughing, or even in some cases talk loudly about you but indirectly

now in any of these situations never let it bother you show no reaction these kinds of people feed off ur fear of them shows no reaction when it comes to things like this and you can also do it back side eye them back,give them weird looks back now im definitely not saying be just like them but play their game don’t let disrespect like this slide and i know how hard it can be especially since these are people ir support be close with but i promise making friends that actually care about you is WORLDS BETTER!!! you’ll have such a peace of mind and being able to make friend that actually care about you is such a freeing feeling!!!!

Reminders!!! 🎀🍯

- they’re opinions don’t matter

- these people are no above you in any way shape or form

- stress is normal don’t let it get to you !!

- you deserve much better friends

- it normal to feel sad after cutting them off

- this person/these people don’t deserve you!!!

- you got thiss!!!

[c1oud999]

hi

i just wanted to come on here and talk about my experience with spirituality. warning: longggg post ahead.

basically ive been in the spiritual community for YEARS now. ive had existential crisis since the age of 11 and ive gone through many phases of many different spiritual trends. from law of attraction, to witchcraft, to religious devotion, to law of assumption and now finally non dualism. i read books, meditated for hours and hours, talked to spiritual ppl from all walks of life and watched all the episodes of ganga upanishad (a show i still highly recommend, you can watch on youtube). all this childhood trauma and mental illness made me crave for sweet relief. but nothing really made sense until law of assumption. i thought that that would be it yk. i thought i was done searching but i think that was when i was searching for things the most. i do know i have it in my 4d, when will i see it? i thought i would get all my desires but did not meet success. and then the non dualism trend began and i hopped onto it like pretty much everyone else. i was bewildered at the stuff teachers kept saying. what do you mean everything's an illusion? there's no way that's true. my very real surroundings are causing me VERY real pain and suffering. oh no no there must be a deeper meaning behind all this. and so i read all the books in 4dbarbies drive, but nothing clicked. yes it made sense intellectually, but i didnt want to believe it bc where is the materialisation satisfaction here? also i felt none of the euphoria that was supposed to come with self realisation. which means i must not be a realised being. and then i cried and cried and cried, isolated myself, literally stopped going to school and just lay in bed all day. but ofc, i continued to read the tumblr posts like i had been doing for the past several years. and yesterday i read 4dkelly's post about giving up. it made sense. by the time i had finished reading the post i had truly given up on everything. on wanting, hoping, fearing, striving etc etc. i was SO tired. so i gave up. fell asleep. i woke up really late as usual and missed the school bus. i ate breakfast in silence, switched the tv on and lied down on the couch like always. and like always out of compulsion and force of habit i reached for my phone and looked up non dualism on twitter. and then i came across a tweet that said a simple sentence only- "nothing is ever actually happening." woah. that kinda drove me to the edge of the cliff i desperately wanted to jump off. i turned on some dnb background music and turned the shower on. i stood under the boiling hot water like some dramatic bitch and started piecing together the "puzzle". it all made so much sense now. i got out of the shower and left the house for the first time in months with a cute outfit and makeup on and everything. i went to the mall, bought candles, stickers, eye masks, coffee, and a doughnut with absolutely no social anxiety at all. i sat by window, read some poetry on my e-reader, cried, peered down at the floor below me and cried some more at the sight of little kids sitting on santa's lap and taking pictures and marveled at all the christmas decorations around me. it was insane. i decided i was going to be neutral towards everything but im in love. maddeningly so. in love with this dream that i thought did not love me back. but love is all there is. I AM ALL THERE IS. and i need you to take this literally. there is nothing happening. there is nothing here except you. nothing to fear, nothing to desire. ik a lot of people are going to dismiss this post because it's not a "materialisation success story" but i honestly dont think i can ever want anything physically bc in all its true essence, what is there to materialise? i am already whole and complete. i am lying on this cold hard floor, but i have never felt warmer. also ik there may be a lot of things ive written you might not agree with but again, this is NOT REAL. I AM. i hope this post helps you.

thank you to all the blogs ive come across and all the pointers they have shared: @se1f @realisophie @itgomyway @4dkellysworld @4dbarbie-backup @infiniteko @iamthat-iam and many more i cannot thank enough.

lots and lots of love (more than you can ever imagine), and good luck.

[steddietism]

eddie is NOT good at flirting. he knows this, everyone who’s ever met him knows this. it doesnt stop him from trying, though, definitely not. especially when its valentines day and the guy working the counter at scoops ahoy is so fucking— drop dead gorgeous? yeah, lets go with that. this man is stunning, pink lips and hazel eyes, little flecks of golden catching the sunlight. a thick, brown mane of hair that sits under his hat. moles dotted around his skin like constellations.

“ahoy, are you ready to set sail on this ocean of flavour with me,” the guy, eddie peers at his name badge, steve, starts his line, like a kid rehearsing for a school play, “i’ll be your captain. im steve, what can i get for you today?”

eddie stares at him for a moment. it cant be legal for someone to be this hot, right? he bets scoops only hired this guy to make eddie suddenly unable to order ice cream. theyre plotting against him.

“im eddie,” FUCK why’d he say that?? steve doesnt care. goddamn it.

“well, steeeveee… you got any valentines day themed flavours?” he asks, leaning against the counter in an attempt to — hes actually not sure what hes trying to do here. woo steve? make him blush? whatever hes trying to do, its not working.

“uh… yeah, we’ve got this uhhhh— like— red velvet flavour one— i think,” steve says.

“could i try a sample?” eddie smirks, tilting his head slightly. “would you let me?”

steve looks at him for a beat too long before saying, completely blankly,

“i honestly would not care if you robbed us at gun point.”

and eddie fucking erupts into laughter. he covers his mouth with his hand and turns away from steve.

“fuck, man, i’m so bad at flirting,” he laughs to himself.

steves eyes widen a little, and his eyebrows furrow the slightest amount. “you were flirting with me?? fuck— sorry, dude, god that’s embarrassing. sorry, bad at social cues,” steve smiles, and GOD eddie would do anything to see that smile again. pink, full lips curved up, forming creases under his eyes and around his rosy cheeks, a little flash of teeth, fucking dimples.

”dont be sorry, dude, but yeah, i was trying to flirt. i was gonna ask if you wanted to go on a date or something like that,” eddie breathes, flashing his own smile.

“i think i would like that,” steve smiles.

[fish-ofishial123]

back on tumblr for a rant <3 (not like i was really gone in the first place)

so. i have this neighbor, i think i bought her up once or twice, and she's PERFECT.

looks? everyone has a crush on her.

grades? immaculate.

family? super sweet and social.

her personality? she's one of those people who're so sweet that its mean (ifykwim)

she got first place in this competition THAT I DIDNT EVEN GO TO, and my parents started yelling at me for it. "can't you be more like her? be more creative, work harder, youre so useless blah blah blah."

mother. father. not so respectfully, shut up. maybe you should be more like my neighbor's parents. be kinder, maybe? more social? and maybe dont yell at your daughter about her imperfections?

and about my neighbor. smh. she's a two-faced bitch. once, we had a quiz in social studies, and she told me that she got a hundred and asked me what i got. i told her that i got an 80 and that my grade had kinda dropped. she then proceeded to feign sorrow and said, "aw. that must suck. well, on the bright side, i got a hundred and my average went up!"

lady. idgaf about your grades. i was standing there, feeling miserable, and you expect me to be happy for you? stop. just. stop.

but the thing is, im kind of jealous. she's so perfect. she has such silky hair and her skin is so perfect. and so is her family. sometimes she rants to me about how annoying her mother can be, and that she's giving her daughter attention. but i want that. she doesnt understand how different things are for me.

she's the exact opposite of me. she doesnt feel insecure wearing bodycon stuff, and she's really easy to talk to (sometimes), and she doesnt have a resting bitch face that repels half the school.

and she's spoiled, but she somehow manages to have a good reputation. im, like, 99 percent sure she's bribing the principal into giving her good grades

i want to switch lives with her so bad. other than the two-faced part, i want to be exactly like her.

honestly? im jealous of everyone atp. i know i should be happy with what i have, but i cant. im so tired of being the fucked up version of all my friends. and im so tired of not being able to reach my parent's, no, society's expectations.

you can just scroll by this. i know im just being really whiny and dramatic. it's just 7:30, but i guess im going to sleep.

[wonderland-x-showtime]

I'm sorry if I submitted a request alr or if reqs r closed - I'm forgetful with things like this - but could I ask for some rui x reader comfort where reader is someone who gets along with basically everyone at school well and Rui feels like he isn't deserving of them as a partner because he's not as emotionally open or "normal" as them? So, reader asks him about not spending as much time next to them at school as he typically does which causes him to just break a little and cry.

Thanks in advance, you obv dont have to do this tho!

RUI WITH A MORE POPULAR READER

THIS IS SOOO BITTERSWEET poor rui frfr…,,, sorry this took so long! like i said finals is literally this week and I’m more busier than usual! and don’t worry, you haven’t submitted a request until now! also, i didn’t really understand what it meant by "reader asks him about not spending as much time next to them as he typically does”, so i went with my best guess and though that maybe you wanted RUI to just.. slowly avoid reader subconsciously as he also subconsciously held himself back during the Halloween event in wxs when TSUKASA gets injured by one of his inventions? sorry if this is not the case, please let me know and i will rewrite it. hope you enjoy the show!

KAMISHIRO RUI (神代類)

when you first started dating, RUI was honestly surprised. of course he didn’t doubt your love as just a simple prank on him, but he did overthink a lot bit since he’s well aware of both your social status’

you’re incredibly popular and loved by many people in school while he’s.. nobody. he’s a weirdo, as others would put.

you knew that and you still loved him despite the rumors spreading around that he might plan on blowing up the entire school, why? he genuinely believes he’s ruined your social reputation just by talking to him. despite all the rumors and weirdness he brought, you genuinely loved him.. right?

he doesn’t open up to you about his concerns as he was afraid you would realize that he’s right and leave him. instead he treats you in the best-RUI way possible.. although he’s a bit dumb when it comes to having a romantic relationship.

slowly say by day, the constant overthinking about how much he thinks he’s ruined your social life has taken a negative toll on his mental health and thus subconsciously led him to avoiding you more around school. it hurt him doing this but knew you’d be better off without him

this devastated you greatly, but you weren’t ready to give up on him. one day you finally corner him (NOT LITERALLY LMAO) and desperately ask him why he’s been avoiding you many times during the weeks which eventually led to months.

while he wouldn’t really cry at any situation, this one led him to slowly break down a tiny bit as he still tried to smile a bit, although it was very wonky and just sad to look at. he’s a quiet crier, so he whispers gently and tells you everything he’s been constantly thinking about. your reputation, his reputation, how he feels like a bad curse that’s ruining your reputation.

in the end though, you comfort him with a hug and a pep talk (or just a simple pep talk if you’re uncomfortable with physical touch) that you don’t care how negatively he affects your social reputation. if anyone dares to ask why, you will by staying by his side no matter what. you chose him as your boyfriend for a reason.

eventually this calms RUI down as he apologizes for crying a little bit in front of you, feeling very embarrassed by it. you tell him it’s fine, and he thanks you, thanks you for everything you said specifically. he knew you meant it deep inside your heart, and eventually he was able to return back to the same old RUI after that moment of vulnerability he had

while after since then he’s been less concerned about his reputation ruining yours, the thoughts will still be in his mind no matter what. it’s not like it’ll go away the minute you told him how you truly felt about him, but it’s mostly in the back of his mind now. he tries now to be more open to you privately about his feelings, knowing he shouldn’t keep you in the dust anymore.

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

out of interest, how do you think izaya developed aspd and npd? i know that pds typically develop as a result of trauma so i suppose his parents always being absent would be a factor but id also like to hear your thoughts on it. love the aspd izaya headcanon btw

first off, thank u!

and secondly, his parents being absent would definetley be a factor. i read somewhere that its actually children whove been neglected that are more likely to develop aspd rather than children who are abused, because the complete LACK of stimului contributes to aspd more than bad stimuli does. take this with a grain of salt though because my source is "i saw it somewhere" and im 90% sure that place was NOT a study so it might be wrong

but either way, both pds are known to be caused by trauma and both have a genetic component to them. the genetic component isnt SUPER well known, but it IS known that there's a hereditery component here

so honestly? i think izaya was born with antisocial tendencies. NOT aspd, i must stress- at a very young age, if he was given adequate support and treatment, they could've stayed tendeicies and he wouldn't have developed fullblown aspd. he couldve turned out like one of those guys with a bit of a skewed morality system but is otherwise mentally healthy enough to participate in society without wanting to kill himself or others. quirks over disorder

but from pretty much every account i can think of, izaya was ALWAYS an odd child, to the point where it was his father that instilled a love of humanity into him

When he was younger, I saw he was distant from others, and that made me worried. And so I wanted him to come to like humans and become a man who could strongly love people twice as others would. (source)

of course this isnt exactly very detailed wrt izayas behavior, but if its enough that his absent father noticed, it mustve been pretty serious

so wrt his aspd, i think he was born with those kinds of tendencies, which were then exasperated by the neglect and ergo got worse and worse over the years, culminating in high school with his friendship with shinra, blackmailimg of nakura, and his beginning to poke his nose in the underground

his npd is a bit trickier

so, the way i personally developed npd is that my mom would seem to have two perceptions of me in her head, depending on wether or not i was following the Good Perception or not. the first me, the good one, was intelligent, kind, and filled with potential. the other one was a stupid lazy monster. i was the good one, up until i did anything she didnt like, then i was the bad one. these two ideas getting fed into me led to me clinging onto the Good Perception as how i really was, and if something even for a second made me slip, i'd crash down from total egoism to total repulsion. And It Sucked!

(disclaimer: do not armchair diagnose my mother. i have my theories but they will stay private and i absolutely do not want a STRANGER butting into this, especially when they could know less abt mental illness than me and thus spread misinformation)

now, i dont think izaya's parents were like my mom- but there was still a dichotomy at play here. he would go to school, where he would be a smart student and praised by his teachers, even if he kept to himself. then, he'd go home, and be alone. as he got older, it only got worse- humans are social creatures, and we don't take well to being lonely. the mind starts to cope with it however it can.

as izaya started to venture deeper into the underground, he couldve started to develop a superiority complex about it. see, look- he's smarter than everyone. better than everyone. that's why he's alone, its because he's too good to be around them. not because he's worse. he's better.

because, especially once he gets to high school age... izaya is smart. izaya is perceptive. izaya would be able to tell that there's something different about him, and that's why people avoid him and he avoids them. there's something wrong with him in a way that's repulsive and unpalatable to most. that'd wreck a kid's self-image, especially a neglected kid's, since he'd already have low self-image from, yk, the neglect

and the dichitomy of the low and high self-image makes him develop npd- the ego masks the low self esteem, but both are equally felt and true, its not like his egoism and god complex are fake- it's all very real, he feels it all and believes it genuinely, and he clings onto it because if he slips, he KNOWS where he's gonna plummet

anyway thats just my take on it!! "it was his childhood" is prolly a boring answer but honestly a lot of mental illness has that answer at the root of it. art imitates life and all

[applesjuice]

By that, I meant what was his life, how did he come to be in a human family, if he goes to school, etc etc...

Oooh ok! So in my version of the AU ogerpon stuck around the mask maker's family for generations, just to check in. He was too scared to go into the town and luckily their house was on the outskirts. The older members of the family had a bit of an idea he was there so they'd leave little offerings like toys and treats out for him to take.

Putting under a cut since it got super long again...

It wasnt until the current generation of the family that he really got involved and that was because of Carmine. It has been ages since the family had a kid there. The younger family members tended to move away and then come back when they were older. But Carmine's parents passed away and her grandparents were the only ones willing to take her in. She was really young when this happened and tended to get into a lot of trouble.

So Ogerpon and Carmine had a bit of a Totoro situation going on initially. As she got older she kind of "outgrew" her imaginary friend ogerpon and her grandparents just knew that hurt the ogre. They actually approached ogerpon themselves one day, hiked up to his den and everything, and explained about how the Teal Mask worked, and how they could tweek it a bit to offer one wish. It was a comet sliver similar to what was found in the crystal pool. Their family had been holding onto it for generarions specifically for ogerpon, and they thought maybe now their relationship was good enough he'd accept it.

So ogerpon did and wished to be a human so he could have a family and people who loved him and wouldnt forget or leave him. And now suddenly there's a little boy who looks like them, no way they're not bringing him home. Only thing is ogerpon is a pokemon and doesnt know how to human, so for a while he won't go inside their house and would hide under the porch and need to be hosed down for bathtime.

Carmine obviously had questions but luckily she didnt know where babies came from so they told her thats your little brother he grew from a peach and she's like "sounds legit." There werent any other kids her age in town at the time so she genuinely thought Kieran was weird but he is a boy and boys are weird so him living under the porch for a few months is normal.

Eventually ogerpon grows into being the human named Kieran, gets domesticated lol, and is very happy. But also terrified of anyone finding out he's a pokemon, let alone the ogre. He has issues around crowds, new people, and doesnt really get social cues but he's trying. Him and Carmine are homeschooled because they are in the middle of nowhere, but Carmine loves pokemon and battling and works her butt off to get into BB academy. So she goes off and leaves Kieran behind.

So Kieran comes to the decision he wants to go to human school too. He like, needs Carmine, in that she is his buffer against the world. But also he heard how Carmine fought with their grandparents about wanting go to school, experience the world etc. And even though all he really wants is to belong somewhere, he is very curious about human school.

Only this human school is focused on battle. Kieran has never been in a pokemon battle but ogerpon sure has. And honestly ogerpon doesnt mind battling, he's a pokemon, it's how they communicate and settle arguements. Thing is "humans" can't battle eachother apparently that is illegal so he goes out and asks his besties if they want to go to human school with him as their trainer. (So Furret, Yanma and Applin) they think the idea is hilarious because pokemon dont direct other pokemon in battles. Lets go mess with everyone in human school lol.

So my Kieranpon battles. It's more rare since he is afraid of outing hiself by accidentally boosting his team's stats in excitement. That has happened before. And guess what they get in. Carmine is shook because wtf Kiki you don't battle?? Yes he does you just never asked.

BB Academy is incredibly overwhelming and Kieran becomes a wallflower almost instantly because it is taking so much out of him to adjust. But the Terrarium is fantastic, he loves it. He gets a bit of a reputation as a pokemom whisperer but its kind of more the campus meme no one really takes seriously. But they should because you should hear half of the shit these pokemon tell him about their trainers. He knows all the gossip. Everyone should be glad he writes like a toddler because Kieranpon's burn book would be devastating.

Teal Mask DLC would go pretty similarly, except Kieran's upset about the ogre is an old frustration at Carmine for not believing him, and as a result believing IN him (ogerpon). I'll use Juliana as the protagonist here though it wouldn't change if it's Florian. But his downward spiral is because of Carmine immediately believing their grandfather when he says ogerpon is good but not him even though he's been trying to convince her for years! And then she's trying to be all nice to the ogre but is going out of her way to leave him out, and so his his new friend wtf? It hurts to be purposefully left out of something, it really does.

So Kieran's downward spiral is more about Carmine not trusting him, coming to terms with how she doesnt remember how close they were when she was young because she adored the ogre so much then. And his overall upset that despite trying so hard to be a human its not enough because he became a whope person for her, so she wouldnt be lonely, and she's moved on from him, keeps trying to leave him behind, and won't meet him at where he's trying to come from. So yea Carmine discovers her brother is a pokemon after they get back ogerpon's masks. cue the drama.

She's mad, kieran's mad and very upset, their grandparents are trying to mediate. But once again kieran is a pokemon and pokemon don't talk to sort out their issues they battle. Ogerpon wiped the floor with Carmine's pokemon becauae they are still underestimating him (also he's like...a pseudo legendary?? Girl) So juliana steps in and she gets it. They battle, she's everything he wishes he could be as a person, she's everything he's not but through their battle he understands her fears, her flaws, how much she's struggled and finally someone gets where he is coming from. She beats him and kieran offers to let her catch him. Carmine is upset because wtf that is still her brother you can't take him so then she challenges Juliana to keep ogerpon.

Their fight is more Juliana trying to get through to Carmine that catching ogerpon isnt about ownership but more of a symbolic gesture that ogerpon (kieran) is ready to be loved, to be tamed. Juliana wins, catches ogerpon with a friendship ball, and gives it to Carmine.

Like she said catching a pokemon isnt always about posession or ownership. It's a connection between a person and pokemon. Her and kieran may have a connection but that doesn't mean ogerpon (kieran) is now hers.

Indigo Disk there is some drama but it's more Kieran needing to prove he can protect himself (he lost to Juliana she was a strong trainer and he wouldn't mind being a partner to her) but kieranpon here is working through some ptsd after the Loyal Three came back to life and stole his masks. So it's Carmine and his team trying to help him cope and stop being so self destructive. He's snappy but not cocky, more like zero patience because he's so exhausted from lack of sleep and constantly being terrified. More than once he'd accidentally stepped onto the court sending "himself" out to battle and other league members are like "this kid is wild kieran is nuts he tried to throw down with my slowbro"

Indigo Disk is the we face our trauma dlc. BB elite four eventually find out, not from Carmine or Juliana thet are very tight lipped about Kieran's secret. Not too sure atm how they find out but they do. Kieran needs more human friends who accept both sides of him.

Not sure about ships yet. I like kieran with the mc but not too sure on my feelings of shipping a pokemon with a human. Maybe him and Juliana would have a queerplatonic relationship going on? But no ships for now.

Also post indigo disk kieran loves Juliana's paladea friends. He think Nemona is stupidly cool she's literally a shonen protagonist he's kind of obsessed. Arven is secretly his favorite person in the world because Arven feeds him. Him and Penny have this oh thank god another introvert thing going on where they both like sitting in the dark and fluffy things.

[yourbittertarottruth]

you are so cool and non judgemental to chat with, so thanks very much once again! yeah I think the whole hysteria abojt idols fs in away its intruiging from a non obsessive point of view but for those who do obsess about idols fs are going to be in for a shock whenber idols are revealed to be dating and shock horror, its not themselves.

honestly I regret not really going for it and learning a genuine skill that I could then use later on but sometimes its just matter of having opportunities or being in the right situations to actually gain those skills, for example you could go to a really shitty school and learn something amazing or you can go to a better school but have shitty classmates or teachers that are of no real use to you or courses that arent available and so on and so forth, whilst idols have to go through a lot I do think what they get to do is super cool cause when they pass on they have a legacy to be proud of. Sadly I think it just comes down to them being in the right areas or theyre from the right families who can invest so much into idols gaining their skills and talents. I have yet to really see someone from my country denut in kpop group sooooo it kind of says a lot of where kpop is heading and that they were going to smerica come what may. its just sometimes our situations are very limiting and we cant always win at everything in life either or say you might want to do something but realistically you know its slim to none chances and i think at some point it has an age limit of when you can succeed at it. So even if i wanted to do what i originslly wanted it would take many more years just to get to a good skill and even then you might not be the best at it

I also think sometimes social media makes things neither great nor bad cause people can upload their skills and really empahsis on what they want nowadahs whereas when I was a kid we were doing fuck all with our free time yaknow? kids nowadays shouldnt waste their younger years is what im saying. sometimes i think that i dont fit in with my generation cause of how screen obsessed we all have become and then i dont fit in with newer generations cause they have so many more ways of making success for themselves, im just like what can i offer? honestly not much.

thats also why i lowkey wouldnt mind passing on early just to get out of this screen world that we are in and yet older generations were never bothered with taking selfies then they wouldnt habe been able to get social validation via online, so they were probs happier and things were at least affordable back then. i kinda envy the older generations in that respect, we only got to experience a small handful of years without the pressures of social media and ever since idfk 00s or earlier it kinda went to shit really.

everyone was expected to be online and idk how i really feel about it anymore im sort of over it and modern society generally sucks. so many idols get backlash for no good reason, youtubers who dont do anything wrong get gossiped about and snark pages are endless so even if someone wants to do something amazing with their lives they cant avoid scrutiny of any sorts. its just got way out of hand and its past the point of saying well just dont use it then cause we technically need these devices constantly so ergo its not hard to not be delulu about celebs and the likes either cause its literally everywhere.

Sorry for the late response, been caught up in some important stuff recently (it's not bad stuff LMAO)!! Anyways, thank you so much! I try my best to remain open-minded of any/all perspectives before forming an opinion of my own and even so, I'm very open to hearing others opinions on these matters. Debating issues is something I genuinely enjoy, as long as it is a polite and healthy debate ofc. It is quite interesting, I'd say it has something to do with the "loneliness epidemic" (as I like to call it) of these times. We're in a time where technology is increasing rapidly and human interaction isn't as common, we're more attached to our screens than actual people and that becomes an issue when it places you out of touch with reality! The obsessions over being an FS and whatnot is genuinely awful, like fans hating on idols and their relationships have led to some couples even splitting; look at Lee Jae Wook and Karina from Aespa as our most recent example. It's never too late to try, really. You can learn any skill no matter your age as long as you can put enough effort in, remain disciplined and dedicate time to it! I think your point there is quite valid, but since technology has advanced so rapidly, you can realistically learn most skills online now by a few quick google searches, taking notes, learning and applying them practically. I think it is quite cool how idols have a legacy that'll be remembered for a while. It's something I'd want to achieve before passing on, as even though making an impact, being remembered, etc isn't a neccessity it does in a way lessen the anxiety about passing on? It makes you feel like there is a chance that people will still mention you, bring you up, that what you did could be studied or researched by other people, that your story could motivate others into getting their shit together, etc. A lot of idols aren't in the right areas or families, though. I'll use BTS as an example here; some members had extremely poor families and were from a run-down agency that could never compete with the big 3. Look at where they are now? They single-handedly built up their label, going from Bighit to HYBE. Practice makes perfect, the more you practice, the more work you put in, the better you will get at that skill! Obviously, blind optimism isn't helpful but if you take the realistic steps in place to where you want to be in the next few years now; it will happen and you will succeed. I completely agree that we, as a society, have all become too screen obsessed and I'm also guilty of this, but it is an issue. It's caused a lot of parents to just let the screen teach their kids, too. I'm sure you have a lot to offer to the world, even if you might not think so. You can do it, though! I believe in you and I'm proud of what you have done so far :] !! I had a discussion with a friend about a similar topic to this, but a lot of trends now are fueled by "nostalgia" where things looked happier and less daunting to live in. I think after 2015 is when things started to spiral, but that's my personal take. You're more than free to disagree with anything I've said!! I don't think you should force yourself to be online, stick to the trends, etc. Do what makes you happy and you'll see yourself shine brilliantly! And yeah, a lot of delusional ideals are fueled by big companies nowadays, too, since fans will obviously put more money into those celebs if they feel like they might get "noticed" - which could also be why concert tickets are getting higher and higher even for newly debuted groups. That's my take on all this, though, feel free to respond and add on, agree, disagree, etc! <33

[class-1b-bull]

I hope this doesn’t come off as weird. But class 1b as parents and/or how many kids would they have?

Honestly this is rlly cute and I had a lot of fun writing it <3

(Everyone is adult age obviously)

Not proofread we die like men.

Awase -

"Its not stupid if it works" became his motto very quickly, its actually kinda admirable to see the stupid shit he gets up to as a dad. One time you watched him wield his kid to the wall while he cleaned up some juice that spilled or smthn.

Sen -

Hes definitely on the more protective side of things towards his whole family. Anytime his kid wants to hang out with their friends it turns into a fucking interrogation. "Whos gonna be there? When will you be home? Jacobs going, whos that? Oh that jacob! Hes chill asf."

Kamakiri -

Both him and his kids are little balls of rage. I feel like hed have two kids and they all constantly yell at eachother in the most loving way possible, kinda weird how they pull it off honestly.

Kuroiro -

His kid is tiktoks goth baby. (If you dont know its a tiktok account about this little girl that dresses in black dresses and her whole room is black and stuff and shes so cute omll) him and the kid have a whole matching wardrobe and its adorable <3 (just imagine Kuroiro and a toddler wearing matching Metallica shirts)

Kendo -

I feel like she only has one kid (specifically a boy) but hes like captain of the soccer team or smthn so her house always had like 11+ sweaty kids in there talking about something completely random. (She doesn't mind tho, as long as they wear deodorant)

Kodai -

I feel like she would prefer to adopt an older kid than have one of her own. Shes so sweet to her kid all the time and she teaches them so much. She genuinely loves spending time with her kid its adorable.

Komori -

I went to a renaissance fair a few years ago and there was a lady with two kids all wearing matching elf costumes. Thats Komori. She ropes her kids into doing all of the weird stuff she likes and its honestly rlly cute <3

Shiozaki -

I honestly cant see her having any kids of her own or even adopting but I do think she would foster. Everytime a kid comes to her house to live there for a few months she spends her time teaching them a lot of things, (independence, thinking skills, different cultures and religions, ect.)

Shishida -

Boomer. He does that weird ass squint everytime his kids show him something. If its a stupid ass meme he always asks if his kid knows them lmao. 100% falls for flash sale scams and his kid has to remove viruses from his computer every day

Shoda -

He would be a good dad of one, maybe two kids. But he cant cook to save his life. His lover is out of town so hes watching the kids? Its pizza and instant ramen for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day for the next week.

Pony -

Pony is more popular than her daughter lmao. I feel like her daughter keeps to herself and reads at school, doesn't like being social but sometimes random people will go up to her and be like "can you tell your mom theres a party this saturday and sams." They are complete opposites lmao.

Tsubaraba -

Definitely has a son, they are besties and they constantly do shit like this together <3

Tetsutetsu -

Big muscle man and his tiny daughter with her silly pink tutu. He definitely spoils his kid so much its actually insane. Imagine him and his daughter having a little princess tea party and they're both wearing little crowns while drinking from pink cups <3

Tokage -

Cat mom. She can barely keep a plant alive how tf is she gonna handle a kid? I also feel like she had a bunch of younger siblings she had to take care of throughout her childhood so shes done with kids.

Manga -

"What do you mean we cant have 20 kids :(" if he could he would. He loves kids so much, he wants a big ass family with as many kids as possible and everyone will wear matching pajamas for christmas >:) best dad tho

Honenuki -

Hes such a good dad oml <3 he always listens when they talk about something and he genuinely loves and cares for them. He 100% lets his kids teach him about whatever their current Intrest is and its adorable.

Bondo -

Hes actually really shy and almost clumsy when it comes to being a parent (at least he is at first) nervous 24/7 but hes actually so gentle and kind to his kid <3.

Monoma -

Hes so protective of his kid. He just doesn't want his kid to be bullied like he was </3 he gets almost scared for his kid when they get their quirk (especially if its his quirk being passed down) gives them an hour long self love lecture lmao <3

Reiko -

I cant see her having kids (theyre sticky and gross tbf) so whenever someone asks when shes having kids she just kinda points to her cat. She does volunteer to babysit for everyone elses kids if they need a sitter tho <3

Rin -

Dad that loves dragons and kid that loves sharks. They definitely go to cool ass fairs and festivals together <3 knows all of his kids friends by name and is willing to help them with anything. They are his kids by extention lmao.

I really struggle writing sometimes because I just want to end every sentence with a heart but it looks stupid when I do that aaaheufnhhhhghgg </3

[satuwn]

Do you know how to make friends? Even online? I keep trying to talk to people, and it goes well for a day or two, then we never talk again. It’s starting to really get in the way of me doing anything.

honestly i will admit to u, i dont know! im going to try to give u advice but i myself have spent years of my life without irl friends and i actively talk to 3-4 online friends (which most were already longtime relationships) i try to make new friends and talk to ppl but! its hard! especially when ppl dont usually reach out to u first :-( so i myself dont have an answer for that... but there is hope for u and me, always. more rambles under the cut, this is personally what /i/ do so this advice might not apply to everyone!

the best place to make friends is a group of ppl u kinda have to interact with, ofc this is a gamble bc it depends on the ppl u end up with,, which i havent had luck with school wise until now where i met rlly cool ppl in the masters degree im studying at! but perhaps courses, workshops, gatherings, stuff like that! try to gouge someones interest, fav shows, music, cartoons, games etc. and try to keep up with em, maybe get their number or socials and text every now and then! u dont need to pester someone everyday for a relationship to form, and if u are neurodivergent like me it will be Hard to see if theyre genuinely interested in hanging or just being polite, but if u can sense they arent rlly vibing with u i wouldnt try forcing a realtionship even if u find them cool :( aside from that tho just be persistent and dont give up! i had the problem of usually latching to one person i like and that is a nono esp in a group of ppl, try to go around and talk to many ppl and mix it up so u dont come off clingy (as i am often afraid of doing) also, setting up hangouts outside of ur group activites! going out to eat and chat, going around streets, shops or malls, movies, or look up fun or interesting places around u! u can approach inviting someone with 'hey i wanted to check out [place] would u wanna come with?'. this can all be applied to online relationships too, relating to them/asking questions abt their interest/life, watching/gaming together, and just checking in on em from time to time. i might not have said anything new and again i am the last person to be giving this advice but! i dont know, i still hope it helps and i hope everything works out for you!

[nanjokei]

i havent been tagging my reblogs about palestine AT ALL not even with the usual post type tags i do (text, video etc) because i dont wanna empower bozos who look away from reality and try to blacklist tags, especially now when the people on the ground are begging to be heard.

like tough luck. before social media got big, for arabs the tvs were on constantly in full color and we did not look away. we did not have the option to look away. i was an elementary school student and we had our eyes peeled constantly to news about the iraq war and later the lebanon war and so on. so much death and destruction burned into my retinas. i think everyone remembers where they were when saddam hussein was executed! even though it was eid! i think people overseas especially americans are way too comfortable looking away and seeking comfort and distractions. of course your entire life is not following international political conflict and human suffering, but to entirely look away from it, to go "this makes me uncomfortable so please let me hide it from my life", i think its a bit much. and honestly quite cruel.

the least you can do is not look away. to acknowledge it at least the very least within yourself. to know that it is happening. i do see it as a lack of maturity to want to look away at all times

[kusuokisser]

oomf reblogged a bunch of aro stuff and in honor of pride hour (i made it the fuck up Dont ask me any questions i dont talk to paparazzi) i want to talk about MYYY experience being arospec because it is Isolating and even if this reaches literally no one id rather at least have tried to share my feelings. Spreading love! 💝

growing up i very quickly realized that i wasnt getting crushes like the other kids were. as early as second grade i started trying to force myself to like the boys in my class. id, like, look around the classroom at the start of every new school year and look for the next boy to have a "crush" on. It sounds kind of funny looking back but like i remember how desperate i felt doing it. i remember one year i genuinely hated every boy in my class with a burning passion and, if nothing else, i remember the feeling of being wrong. i, a 4th (maybe 3rd?) grader, felt isolated and gross because i couldnt force a crush for a year.

i had known none of the other ones were really crushes, but it wasnt the romance i wanted it was the connections. i wanted to be able to join the girls talking about their crushes and i wanted to have a reason to try talking to boys; i wanted to be liked.

in 6th grade i think was the first time i didnt try to force a crush. i dont remember much from that year but i know that i didnt feel good. youd think that, as an arospec, i would have enjoyed the break from faking romance but at that point i didnt understand that my feelings werent quite real. i knew they werent like everyone elses, but i really wanted them to be even if it meant lying a bit to myself on the way. i felt wrong and weird.

in seventh grade that was when covid hit and everyone was quarentined, and also that is the year that holds my worlds most obvious example of my aromanticism ever. genuinely think back to this and go "how didnt i figure it out sooner"

i convinced myself i had a crush on my at-the-time best friend. there was no crush by the way, i judt knew i liked him more than all my other friends and to my socially deprived brain that meant it had to be romantic right? well he didnt like me back and literally i went, watched like two YouTube videos on something or other, and was over it. because the feelings were never genuine. it was never love it was a desire to be close with someone

8th grade was the first time i actually fell in love. by then i had figured out im a lesbian, and i met this girl named Jane. She was literally everything you could want in a girl and i fell HARRDDDDDDD i was so in love dont even. but I found that my capacity to love her fluxuated. the love was always there, but some days it was more platonic than anything. sometimes thr platonic periods would stretch for weeks. sometimes it would switch between platonic and romantic multiple times a day. it confused me and honestly? it scared me a lot. i distanced myself from her and eventually we broke up (for seperate reasons but this def contributed)

that really messed with me because now i was left with two understandings: i can definitely experience romantic attraction, and the romantic attraction can change at the drop of a hat.

after a lott of time and research i finally realized and accepted that im aromanticflux (will go into detail if necessary) and you know what? it didn't make me feel better. if anything it made me feel worse; i felt like such an asshole for getting in a relationship if it was always going to end.

now i am. Still coming to terms with my identity but i am learning to love and be kind to myself. the point of this whole thing is. youre never alone. there are eight billion people on earth, at least one of them is going through the exact same thing as you right now. you are not any less of a person because of your attraction or lack thereof