#how predators groom children

[teamjamesoconnor]

The Predator Doesn’t Knock: 7 Places They’re Already Inside Your Child’s Life

We’ve all taught our kids the classic rule: “Don’t talk to strangers.” But here’s the hard truth—predators aren’t lurking in trench coats outside your window anymore. They’re already inside your home, in your child’s pocket, their group chats, their classrooms, and sometimes even wearing a whistle and a smile. This isn’t paranoia. This is protection. And in a world where evil no longer…

[notebooks-and-laptops]

Also I wanna say. I read books and read fanfiction that had 'adult content' in it from about the age of 13? I very specifically remember being in Year 8 and reading the book 'Marked' by P.C. and Kristin Cast. A scene confused me because it had reference to a character giving someone a blow job in a back alley. So I asked my mum to explain it to me and she took the time to sit down and explain what 'blow jobs' were. She didn't take the book away, she just explained and I learnt something and it wasn't scary it was just. A learning moment.

As I got older, I started needing online resources because I wasn't being told the information elsewhere. I remember in year 9 we had sex education that focused on condoms. At the end of the class I awkwardly went up to the teacher and asked about lesbian sex and protection. I was told that wasn't something we talk about in class and that id have to learn when I was older. So I turned to the internet, and looked it up there.

And look. I'm not saying that there's not a problem with increasingly younger kids being given free reign online without parents even thinking to care what they're looking at. I also don't think that 7 year olds should accidently stumble upon BDSM scenes. But how often is that actually happening?

And teen-agers who are figuring out who they are, what their sexuality is, and just you know. Reading stories. Writing stories even. Deserve avenues to think about and explore that and just generally work things out for themselves.

Also, the much much much more dangerous part of online behaviour for children and teens is grooming and predators online and these laws are going to do a dogshit job at stopping that from happening. Especially as the laws are explicitly teaching that online safety is about giving your personal details out to websites and companies rather than. You know. Keeping yourself safe online through pen-names.

Sorry I know I've been on one about this today, it just pisses me off.

[girlfishes]

The most baffling deflection liberals do is say “but the church is worse!!” whenever they’re criticized.

“Hey let’s not have drag queens preform to children because of the sexual nature of the performances”

“But the catholic priests touch little boys!!!!”

“Um how about we don’t let any male self id into women’s spaces cause it lets predators get in without challenge”

“This concern is invalid because teenage girls are groomed in youth group!!!”

“Hey pornography is really harmful to women-”

“gmtisyshbwfudlsCHURCHfgskzyvana”

Hate to break it to you but if someone is getting away with something awful that doesn’t absolve you of responsibility for your own actions.

[diamondcitydarlin]

Just fair warning- I said on my personal post about this that I wasn't going to talk about Neil Gaiman anymore, but as it's becoming clear that him and his publishers and anyone else who makes money off of him is circling the wagons and trying to bury these allegations, as well as some fans still defending and trying to 'rationalize' this information, I feel like, actually, we need to keep talking about him (as much as I cannot stand him and feel physically disgusted now when I so much as see his face somewhere). Specifically, the fact that he's a liar, master manipulator and should not, under any circumstances, be given access to his fans like he has in the past. At the very least. (And if you need to blacklist his name or even unfollow me so as to not be triggered, I completely understand, but I will always try to tag these posts accordingly and I think it's crucial right now that the truth be put where people can see)

This post specifically is in response to those 'rationalizations' I've seen, some that have gone as far as to blame the young fans/groupies that hooked up with him for being 'golddiggers' or just making a mountain out of a molehill for something they now regret. It's not that simple, yall. (And, again, this requires some amount of completely ignoring the story about him extorting his tenant for sex under threat of eviction of her and her three young children, I'm not sure how you 'rationalize' that under the best of circumstances)

So let's be clear here. What we know is that NG has routinely, for possibly an upwards of 30 years, pulled sexual 'partners' from his fan groups, most of whom are 18-22 year old young women (though possibly younger, accounts are coming forward of 16 year olds having allegedly been inappropriately touched/flirted/propositioned by him, which ig is the age of consent in the UK but still?? 16 year olds!!). This wasn't one or two times in the course of three decades, this was a constant pattern of behavior for him and for a very insidious reason.

This isn't to try to infantilize those fans or young women/young people in general or try to suggest that they couldn't have consented to sex with an older person or famous person. In fact, the onus isn't on them at all. This is about an older guy with a lot of fame, power and wealth choosing to sleep with people that he had already conditioned to idolize him and using that power imbalance to coerce them into doing things they didn't want to.

Regardless of one's age or gender identity, it can be difficult to impossible to say 'no' to someone like that. After all, you've been 'chosen' by the chosen one, you're special and not like everyone else, and if you don't do what the popular person everyone trusts is telling you to do you could end up ostracized. Alienated. Or worse. And you know what? Gaiman knew that! He knew it when he was crafting his 'approachable dad' persona on tumblr. He knew it when he was cultivating a fandom of personality. He knew it when he was having huge meetups to try to ensnare more victims. I hate to even think it, but I'm starting to believe he knew it when he was writing children's books too.

It's been talked about again and again in separate issues, but needless to say something not being strictly illegal does not make it inherently, morally okay. It does not erase the fact that this man has been essentially grooming his fandom to feel safe meeting/speaking with him so he can coerce those he can snare into sexual acts they're not comfortable with. That is predator behavior, whether strictly 'illegal' in the eyes of a court or not (but ofc I think he should be criminally punished even if I'm not naive enough to think he actually will be, because this IS rape and rape should be criminally punished)

I'm not personally advocating for anyone to give up being in his related fandoms, but what I am personally advocating for is that people don't forget who he is and what he's capable of, especially when he tries to crawl back to where he was (I'm almost certain he will eventually, as I've said).

Again, at the very least, we need to use what little influence we do have to keep him from infiltrating fan spaces again. He should not be on tumblr yukking it up with young people, he should not be at public appearances hitting on teenagers, he should not be given the unrestricted access to fans that he's 'enjoyed' for the past 30+ years because he is not a safe person. While I wish there was more in the way of restorative justice that could be done, I think at very, very least we should do what we can to limit his proximity to people he could hurt in the future. Make sure no one forgets, because sweeping this under the rug means Gaiman gets to hurt more people.

Lastly, no one is the wrong for having been manipulated by him. Let's make that very clear. What we're NOT gonna do is blame ourselves, each other, the victims, etc, for evil acts that Gaiman chose to do himself, time and time and time again. It doesn't help the situation and it certainly doesn't protect future potential victims. We were all duped because we're human and we attach and a lot of us want to believe there are good people out there, particularly those who make art that means so much to us.

And there are. But let's also use this a teaching/learning tool about how much faith we place in famous people in the future, regardless of how 'approachable' and 'safe' they might seem. Let's remember to have a healthy suspicion of creators/famous people that are oddly immersed in fandom spaces- yes, even the ones you still currently like that seem fine, as difficult as that may seem.

At the end of the day, we don't know them or what they're capable of doing or what they might be plotting to do to us. Support victims. Amplify their voices. Don't forget.

[demonslayerunhinged]

*cw: this theory deals with child sexual abuse and has mentions of suicidal ideation and eating disorders.

*If you or anyone you know is going through this, you can find resources here, here and here as well as a list of international hotlines.

Obanai is probably the second most hated character in the fandom, and just like Sanemi, he’s one of the most misunderstood. I think the hate he gets from the fandom is unwarranted; he’s accused of being a dick, a horrible person, a simp and a character who only exists to be Mitsuri’s love interest. All of which is unfair, sure he’s prickly and unapproachable, but he’s not as bad as the fandom makes him out to be.

So, in my quest to draft a defense for our favorite snek boy, I reread his backstory and in doing so, I realized something sad

Unhinged theory

Obanai is a sexual abuse survivor

Let me explain:

Obanai’s backstory and aspects of his character mirrors that of someone who’s been through sexual trauma. The evidence I'm going to present is a combination of my own knowledge about these matters and information I got from forums and websites for male survivors of sexual abuse. So let's examine them...um spoilers

The snake demon

I believe that the snake demon is a metaphor for a sexual predator. Her inclusion in the family could also be a metaphor for how these predators insert themselves into family units-or most of the time are family members themselves-and abuse the children for years and even generations. Obanai's relatives sacrificing their babies to her could signify the real life actions of families who are unaware or, turn a blind eye to, or sometimes actively participate in the abuse of their children.

The sacrifice in exchange for wealth speaks of how families in real life ignore the abuse of their children to maintain the wealth and status they obtain from being related to and associated with the abuser.

Even her decision to wait, ordering the cutting of his mouth so he would look like her, could be interpreted as her 'grooming' him in a sense.

Even her design has a certain sexual, predatory aspect to it that's different from the other demons.

His relatives

Obanai describes his family members as being 'disgustingly' affectionate and bringing him lots of 'greasy' food that made him sick. Food in media is often used to depict love, affection, connection and sex, and Demon Slayer is no different.

There are plenty of instances where food and the giving of food has been used to denote friendship (Tanjiro giving Zenitsu, Inosuke and Genya meals in an attempt to bond with them), connection (Giyuu wanting to give Sanemi ohagi), love (Tanjiro's love of cooking and the satisfaction he shows when his meals are enjoyed by others) and pleasure (Mitsuri's large appetite). I'll make a post about this later.

With this context, we can interpret their bringing of rich foods, their overbearing attention and affections as them objectifying and even being sexually inappropriate with him.

The sexual abuse

Non-physical.

The first instance of abuse is non-physical, but that doesn't make it any less important. Being constantly visited by the snake demon in his room at night, Obanai described his feelings of terror, being paralyzed and watched. His body would break out in a sweat, and he would be unable to fall asleep.

His descriptions of the experience and his body's reaction to it reminded me of some survivors' stories I read, where they talked about how in the initial stages of the abuse or when the abuser was first introduced into their lives, their abuser would give them unwanted attention, would stare at them in a way that felt creepy, gross and wrong.

Some had their abusers come in to their rooms, maybe under the guise of 'checking in on them'. They described feeling terrified, freezing up with the hopes that the attacker would leave. Some would take measures such as sleeping with the door locked or with a heavy object against it, sleeping with a sibling or parent, sleeping in a hiding spot that the attacker knows nothing about or not sleeping at all.

Physical.

The specific age that the snake demon plans to 'eat' Obanai is never stated, but from what we've seen so far and in the sexual context, we can assume that she's waiting until he hits puberty. Some studies state that the average age of victims of female sex offenders usually falls around 14 years, but there are cases where the female predator waited until their victim reached sexual maturity before they carried out their abuse, like in the case of Mary Kay Letourneau. Here's a video that breaks down an interview she did before her death.

Obanai was 12 when he was dragged out of his cell to be subjected to what I believe is the first physical abuse. He had his mouth slit from ear to ear, with the blood collected and fed to her. The snake demon decided to have him live a little longer, which again, fits into my theory of her wanting to wait until he reached puberty.

Bodily violation, violence and blood are common allegories for sexual assault used in media and in Obanai's backstory we see it being used when his relatives drag him from his cell, literally pin him down, cut his mouth and feed his blood to the snake demon. The act of feeding on his blood could also be a metaphor for the snake demon sexually abusing him.

His escape and the resulting fallout

Obanai managed to escape, and although he was tracked down by the snake demon, he was saved by Shinjuro Kengoku before she could kill him. His cousin's response was to blame him for all that happened, asked why he ran away, and said that he should have 'allowed' the demon to eat him.

This could represent how some victims are rejected, ostracized and criticized for speaking out against their attacker, exposing the abuse to the public and getting help. Their families would say 'you should have just let it happen', 'you destroyed the family', 'why did you run away, tell people?' and place the blame on the victim.

Obanai's reaction

There are three aspects of his characterization that are similar to the common reactions noticed in adult survivors of sexual assault, especially male survivors.

His appearance.

His behavior.

His beliefs.

His appearance

Obanai has a small frame that he hides with his baggy uniform and haori. I can tell it's baggy compared to that of the other slayers because of the width of his pants vs the width of his lower legs. Desexualization or hypo-sexualization is a common response among some survivors of sexual trauma, this usually involves wearing clothes and taking measures to make themselves look 'unattractive'.

'But this side feels more comfortable for me, like the baggy clothes I wear, which hide my body, and the long sleeves which reach past my wrists. I promised myself no man would ever touch me again, and whether it was a moment of triumph, or a moment of defeat, I still don't know.'

'I'm thin, shy. I seem easy to dominate. I've grown a beard. That's helped a little. I dress in baggy clothes, covering as much of my skin as possible. That makes me feel safe.'

This not only helps regain a sense of control and power over their body but also serves as a protective measure against sexual advances so they don't get abused again.

In Obanai, given his history of receiving unwanted, suffocating and 'disgusting' attention from his female relatives, it would make sense that he would want to dress in a way that makes him unapproachable and hides his body from the opposite sex. We can see his attempts to desexualize himself in the picture below:

His behavior

'Iguro has difficulty with girls. Due to his experiences growing up, he was unable to conquer his fear and animosity. Plus, the firls who joined the Demon Slayer Corps often put on brave faces because of their sad backgrounds, so he felt sorry for them, making him uncomfortable in a different way.' - Taisho Whispers, official English translation.

'Iguro-san isn't good with women. Due to his upbringing he has a fear and disgust towards women. (I couldn't overcome it easily. The women who joined the Demon Slayer Corps have painful stories of determination. I felt sorry for them and I didn't get along with them in a way that was different from the way I got along with my family)' - Taisho Whispers, direct-sort-of-shitty translation via Google Translate.

Male survivors who were victims of childhood abuse by female perpetrators often talk about how the abuse greatly affected their relationships with women or lack thereof. Some going so far as to say that they became afraid of women, being around them and how sometimes being touched by women would trigger panic attacks and remind them of the trauma.

Here are some quotes posted in a thread on the Male Survivor forum. Full thread here.

'Once that happened, my genophobia became more intense. I couldn't ware short trousers in summer, could never go swimming, got paranoid if I touched a woman's arm or even brushed against one, would always stand at a distance from female friends, and would literally leave the room if anything explicit was discussed.'

'I have started to have strange, deep discomforting feelings as I remember some of the assaults and I have gotten to a place where touch from a woman makes my hair stand up, makes me nauseous, and gives me chills and feelings of dread.'

Obanai has similar responses when he finds himself in proximity to women. We're only told about it in the main manga, but it's shown in the Gakuen. I know the Gakuen takes place in an alternate universe, but aside from the events, the behaviors of the characters are based on their actual personalities in the main manga, so we can safely say the reactions he displays in the Gakuen is canon to his character.

His beliefs

Adult survivors of sexual abuse often struggle with feelings of guilt, rage, and shame. In the manga, Obanai talks about being held back by the decaying hands of his family members, which could represent the long-lasting effects of sexual abuse and how some survivors carry these burdens all through adulthood or throughout their lives.

There's also the thoughts about himself that echo the heartbreaking thoughts shared by some male survivors.

Guilt:

"As the member of a filthy family, I too was corrupt. My sins were deep, so I could not live a normal life"

Rage:

"With no other outlet, I turned all my rage on demons in a grudge of intense hatred. By risking my life for others, I felt as if I could in some way become a slightly better person."

Shame:

"Unless I die and come back in a different body in which this filthy blood does not flow, I have no right to be with you."

Suicidal ideation(mild):

"By risking my life for others, I felt as if I could in some way become a slightly better person."

"I want to die defeating Muzan." (He's the only character that I know of that outright says this.)

He also kind-of expresses his feelings of being weak during the fight with Muzan:

"I've accomplished less in this battle than anyone! I wish I could deliver a more effective attack."

While this quote isn't exactly definite, a feeling of being weak, or being 'less of a man' is also a common experience shared by male sexual assault survivors.

The scar and It's symbolism

The scar is a physical manifestation of the lifelong effect that sexual abuse has on its victims and the stigma it carries. For Obanai, it's not just a painful reminder of the trauma he suffered at the hands of his family, but also a reminder to him that he's like his attacker, the snake demon. The bandages he wraps around his mouth symbolizes not just his attempts to hide his trauma, but also his inability to talk about it due to shame and fear, which is unfortunately an all too common experience of male survivors.

Another struggle survivors often experience is with intimacy, romantic relationships and sex. For Obanai, I believe that this struggle is represented by his eating disorder. The link between food and sex is a well established belief in many cultures, people with large appetites can be seen as having equally high sex drives while people with small appetites have little or no sex drive.

As he grows older, his little appetite is basically him curbing his growing sexual desire, which he sees as ugly, like the scar on his mouth. But the thing is Obanai wants love, he wants to love and be loved, to be intimate with another person, but he feels he doesn't deserve it, after all he's filthy, shameful and probably a predator just like the snake demon. So he starves himself, suffering in silence with the belief that he was disgusting, that no one would ever love him, that he was destined to and deserved to be alone.

Then he met Mitsuri.

In Conclusion, Obanai is way more complex than the KnY fandom gives him credit for. This is a man that went through immense suffering, and it's really sad to see people hate on him because he isn't 'nice'.

Well, that's just how life is. Trauma doesn't exactly make nice people. We can't all be like Giyuu or Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤), a lot of us are like Obanai, Sanemi, and even Shinobu, a lot of us are angry, and why shouldn't we be?

...

*Phew, ok so this one has been in the drafts for a while because I was scared to post such a dark subject matter and also I needed to be really sure I wasn't just talking out of my ass but after rereading his backstory and analyzing aspects of his character, I'm more confident about this.

[radioactivewisdom]

For this to be true, heterosexuality as a whole would have to be challenged. That includes non heteros who seek to mimic such dynamics. We all know that won’t happen though. An actual feminist would protect children by demanding the porn watching father be removed from the house. Boy children wouldn’t be allowed preferential treatment. Mothers who bought their daughters razors and lipstick could be called out for grooming the next generation. Your desire to have babies with degenerate losers would no longer be enabled. We all know how that would go.

This is another call to extract resources from sovereign women. Who would only be further ostracized and ridiculed by the same women asking for help, if they actually delivered proper treatment. Women insist on cohabiting and procreating with the same half of the population they become paranoid about leaving their children with. Most women will eventually settle with a man and become pregnant. Meaning most men will be chosen by women. Yet, they’d never ask men as a collective to care for kids.

How does that work exactly? Most men have women willing to vouch for them and co-sign their social “safeness” by partnering up, but they’re still not fully trusted. If men are worthy of sleeping with and birthing, there should be no reason to fear their presence so much. These women would never call on men to protect every child they see, as most can barely behave around their own. Women reduce themselves to being incubators for predators, and want those who are free to be even lower than themselves. You’re the predator and groomers babysitter.

Question a mother on anything and watch her reaction. Try and instill actual feminist principles into children, especially daughters, and prepare to be torn a new one. More women will accuse you of malicious intent for letting their daughters know the truth about marriage and procreation, than they would for their beloved husband with “young” in his search history. If protecting children was considered important, majority of the population wouldn’t be here today.

Cat calling typically begins to happen for girls at age 10. 18 and under is when most abuse and assault takes place. Gendered grooming starts when the sonographer accurately reports a baby’s sex, with most women hoping for a son. Boy children are revered, and adult men are worshipped. If women continue to insist on bringing more children here, they shouldn’t require backup, as there’s no higher endorsement of our world than furthering it.

This is a losing game. Women know men are going to continue preying on children, even the ones they help make. Instead of swallowing their cognitive dissonance, they’ll blame unburdened women for their personal failings. In the same way non lesbians employ homophobia the moment their lapdogs won’t defend, or excuse their dealings with men. CPS already exists, and is looked down upon. If child well fare were to be societally acted upon, no more than %2 of the population could parent.

You will do more to protect kids by never birthing them into our Earths low vibrational circumstances, and leading by example through freedom. A million man lovers could pitch into communal nurturing, making the world an even less safe place. While one highly functioning woman with the capacity to reason, discern her environment, and put logic over idealistic thoughts, would make more of a difference. Even if only once. You co create reality with your actions. Helping husband and wife only furthers their misery making. Keep children safe by refusing to succumb to societal guilt tripping by the child endangering masses.

[sasukekys]

vulnerability, manipulation, sexualisation

an attempt rewrite of my old post that picked up many instances which kishimoto sexualises sasuke’s character when he is being manipulated specifically. this was the post that first inspired me and, as you can see, sasuke’s sexualisation is also used to depict homoeroticism, show him as a desirable character, and even portray him as some type of heroine sometimes. this post will be long but i will not risk to put it under a read more and lose it forever k.

beginning with orochimaru, whose character is full of undeniably pedophilic subtext. we can say that orochimaru is an evil scientist that grooms children/teenagers, sasuke being one of them. in his case, orochimaru wishes to possess sasuke’s body in order to control the sharingan and he tries to make that happen by placing the curse seal on sasuke, something that actively triggers his trauma and anger so that he will seek orochimaru. the curse seal itself is the way orochimaru tries to manipulate sasuke and the whole context surrounding it is- shady, to say at least.

orochimaru’s first appearance is in chapter 45, but we start taking more of a look at him in chapter 47, titled “predator”.

as we can see, not only he compares sasuke to a prey and he himself to a predator and says that “he wants sasuke”, but there’s also the whole creepy and insinuating body language with his tongue, something his character does quite a lot.

the act itself of him placing the curse seal on sasuke is very telling… he literally bites his neck.

when orochimaru meets anko, he says sasuke is very beautiful, i’ve done some research on this and the original japanese text, of course orochimaru is admired by sasuke’s skills, you can see in the forrest of death chapters, but this panel specifically is also speaking of sasuke’s physical beauty, as in it’s something that matters to orochimaru as well. there is also the fact that orochimaru uses the word 美しい (utsukushii), which is not a very usual word to describe a person, it can be used poetically and to describe someone with a refined and delicate beauty. this matches with orochimaru’s way of speaking, but it also makes it more unsettling because it’s how he sees 12 year old sasuke. another thing i noticed is that in the moment orochimaru meets anko, he doesn’t show any of the creepy body language, not even once, even though he was just doing it in the previous chapter.

orochimaru again licking his lips at the sight of sasuke trying to control the curse seal.

and later we have not only orochimaru licking his lips at the thought of “painting sasuke with his own colours”, but also shuddering. quite an interesting choice of vocabulary btw, since sasuke is referred as a “blank slate” by other characters he is manipulated by. kishimoto doesn’t even need to use sasuke’s image or draw him present, but these are used in shady situations, and with characters that don’t really have the best intentions towards sasuke.

and of course there’s this very suggestive cover for the chapter named “the ritual”, in which orochimaru tried to take over sasuke’s body, the reason why he manipulated sasuke in the first place. so yeah, there’s very suggestive visual language and even plain text surrounding sasuke being manipulated, and despite orochimaru being the most obvious one, thanks to the pedophilic subtext, that’s not the only occasion that it happens in the manga.

i’ve talked about this before in some asks of my old blog, but sasuke is often put in positions more typical of heroines, such as being desired by both men and women, being sexualised, and needing to be “saved”. as the linked post already explained, kishimoto uses the legend of kushinada-hime to put sasuke in such position. what i want to talk about is the difference between sasuke’s fight with itachi and the “i will always love you” moment, in which sasuke finally speaks to itachi and finds out the truth by his own brother.

when sasuke fights itachi, he doesn’t know, but he is being manipulated by him, he is going after his revenge and doing as his brother told, with no knowledge of what happened to the uchiha. and this is the moment when kishimoto writes him as the princess/goddess/maiden that needs to be saved. a moment he’s also shirtless. it’s interesting because you might wonder he’s being saved from orochimaru’s manipulation, but only to (unknowingly) give in to itachi’s.

when sasuke wants to find out the truth by himself and talk to itachi however, kishimoto does no such thing. no shirtless or sweating sasuke in questionable positions, no metaphors to compare him as a maiden that needs to be saved, nothing to sexualise him whatsoever.

they constantly talk about itachi telling the truth to sasuke during his fight, and like i said, it seems kishimoto doesn’t see any need to sexualise sasuke here. even when you take a small detail such as itachi admitting he tried to use kotoamatsukami against his brother, again to manipulate him, you have a naked sasuke in the panel.

contrasting to itachi admitting that to sasuke himself.

i would say such an imagery in this context is interesting, because itachi is another character that refers to sasuke as a “blank slate”. nakedness = blank slate.

and the same happens when obito tells him the truth about itachi and his clan in comparison to when sasuke seeks the hokage to ask them about the uchiha and the shinobi system. when obito is talking to him, we have shirtless, sweaty and tied up sasuke, and we can say thay the panel compositions are the vert least... suggestive.

despite the fact that obito is telling sasuke what really happened, sasuke is being manipulated in this moment, it’s the first thing that happens after itachi’s death, when sasuke is at his most vulnerable, so obito can later use him as he wishes in his plans. he is not well intentioned towards sasuke either.

and this doesn’t mean obito or itachi see sasuke in a sexual way, it just means sexualisation is a resource used by kishimoto to depict something else. in these cases specifically, it’s manipulation.

and like i said, when sasuke goes after the hokages to have the answers himself, kishimoto does no such thing, even with orochimaru present, because sasuke is not being manipulated anymore.

the distinction is honestly very clear.

and by the way, there are different ways to portray sasuke’s vulnerability, such as trembling lips, a sad expression and a lowered head.

sasuke is probably the most sexualised character in the naruto manga, in kishimoto’s writing (not fair to say the series since there’s so much fanservice regarding hinata from studio pierrot), and his sexualisation is used in multiple contexts, this post wanted to point out only one of those contexts. i believe kishimoto uses this resource in a way to depict vulnerability in the face of abuse and grooming. the manipulation surrounding sasuke is a big theme for his character, who struggles so much for agency. despite everything, sasuke is able to keep his self determination and autonomy. and i must say it speaks volumes how such a recurring resource is never used with naruto, i think kishimoto is being very clear there is no manipulation in their relationship.

[balkanradfem]

So I've found Alyssa Grenfell on youtube. She shares her experience of leaving mormonism, and the inner workings of the religion. I had very little ideas about what mormonism is, only that it's a high-control religion, very difficult to leave, and has people knocking on doors trying to get converts. I've been interested to find out more, and I ended up watching almost all of her content, and some of the information I've got from it opened my eyes on other feminist topics, and I believe is relevant to the current discourse!

So if you, like me, don't know how mormonism works, it started when a guy decided that he too could be a part of the bible; he wrote a bible part two: mormon, and proclaimed himself a prophet. Then he started a religion based on his writings, decided it was more important than the bible itself because he 'translated it from gold tablets god gave him', and started gaining followers by convincing people he's the prophet. Once he had managed to get a following, he soon started to sexually exploit the wives and daughters of these followers, to the point where he had 20-40 wives and had married 14yo children. Families allowed it to happen because he would promise them to be royalty in the afterlife. He eventually got into a lot of trouble for stealing and raping children so he was killed by an angry mob, but the religion continued.

The religion is same as christianity except more rules (no coffee, no alcohol, no smoking), eternal worship of the predator who wrote it, followers are pressured to follow the rules exactly, and, the vital part, the followers have to give 10% of their income to the church. They developed a culture where once every young mormon kid comes of age, they have to go on a 'mission', which means they're removed from their home, and have to spend 2 years (1,5 for women) living in a foreign area, knocking on doors, sharing the gospel, trying to convert people. The conversion rate is extremely low, but at that point kids have invested so much time, effort, energy and passion for the religion, they become devoted to it and start to feel alienated in the world that rejects their religion. And even with the low conversion rate, every new convert means another continuous source of income for the church. So it's very profitable to send out young adults to make these sales. The kids are told that if they don't complete their missions, they will not be able to marry, and marriage is presented as their only life purpose.

So how rich is the church at this point? 230 billion dollars. I've been shocked to hear this because I had no idea. Alyssa explained that the mormon church is as rich as Pepsi, they have more money than Disney and McDonalds. So you might be wondering, like I did, well what are they doing with all that money? I've been left to wonder this for a while, until I watched the video called 'Why are so many influencers mormon?', which explained it. I didn't even realize a lot of influencers were mormon. But, this video showed me something both disturbing, and eye opening.

Before I go into that, I have to point out how patriarchal and misogynistic this religion is. Women are not given any options except marriage, and it's presented as the only righteous way to live. They're groomed for marriage from a very young age, encouraged to start writing letters to their future husbands at the age of 9. They're taught cooking, sewing and childcare, and to coddle any males in the family. It's taken for granted that m*n won't respect women, to the point where male children are allowed to harass grown women and their families will not intervene or consider it a problem. Chastity and purity are promoted to the level where members of the religion are expected to wear special underwear at all times, which hides their entire torso, shoulders, and legs down to their knees, and their clothing is expected to cover this up completely. They're rejected by the religion if they dare to have sex before marriage, or drink alcohol or coffee, or in some cases, tea. The church has a history of allowing and promoting polygamy, in the sense that a male was allowed to have as many wives as he wanted; they've since stopped this, but refused to break up the existing marriages. They're also promoting anti gay and racist propaganda, which Alyssa observed in school where she'd been teaching; a gay kid almost ended his life due to extreme homophobia.

I know all of this is somewhat common in all areas of society, all religions, and all cultures, but in mormonism it seems to be written into the core of it.

So now, why are so many influencers mormon? I didn't even know they were. The influencers themselves are not promoting the fact that they're mormon, nor does it come up in viral discussions. Ballerina farm is mormon. Tradwives are mormon. Whataboutaub, Rachel Parcel, brooklynandbailey, tanner_mann, thebucketlistfamily, Taylor Frankie Paul, Sarah Beeston, Ruby Franke, these are all mormon. Most of the Utah-based influencers are mormon, and there's a bigger amount of successful and popular influencers from Utah, than from LA or NY.

For me it immediately explained why this viral content is like that. Why we're having such influx of highly patriarchal, anti-feminist, very dangerous and sexist content, put in front of the eyes of young women. Why it's being promoted as an ideal way of life. How are these women able to share this life as if they truly believed it was good and ideal. How could they think it's harmless? If they're using the internet to the extent that they're creating content, how would they not be exposed to any feminism at all? And they wouldn't because it's against their religion to engage with content like that, or with people talking about it. Because being raised in a high-control religion, they would truly believe their lives are the ideal. They would be presented with it as their only option, the only way of life possible for a woman.

It's heartbreaking because I can now understand why it was so easy to push Ballerina Farm to give up her entire life ambition to get married and carry children for a male she didn't even want to go out with, the pressure from the religion to do so would be immense, she would have been raised to see this as the only option, everything else in her life would be considered pointless. She wouldn't have an actual choice, she'd be groomed for this from the moment she was born. Mormons don't advertise 'looking for your soulmate', they only instruct women to marry a mormon male who completed his mission and make it work.

So how does the immensely rich mormon church play into this? I couldn't see it until Alyssa explained in a very detailed way how youtube content advertising works. I didn't know about this either, but here's the overview:

How much you get paid on youtube, instagram, tik-tok, or other online content platform, depends on what type of content it is, based on how much advertisers are willing to pay to put adverts on it. For instance, you get paid much more for finance content, because banks will pay premium prices to be advertised in a finance-related video. If you're making content on cooking, you get paid way less, because it's not such a lucrative field. If you're making content on christianity, you get similarly low price as for cooking, christian church is not that rich. But, if you're making content as a mormon, that's showcasing some aspect of a mormon life, even if you don't specifically say you're mormon, the price goes way up, to the point where it's as lucrative as finance. The mormon church is making sure that the mormon influencers are being paid premium prices for their content, because people who get massively interested in the influencers, eventually find out that it's the mormon life being advertised, and some of them consider taking on mormonism. Which gives church more converts, which means the church will earn more money. The content we're watching is one huge advert sponspored by mormon church, and we don't even know it.

Alyssa figured this out because her content falls under the keyword 'mormon', and her comments warned her that the church is advertising on her videos, even when she's making mormon-critical content. She then realized that she too was being paid a premium price for her views, just because they're mormon themed. She went on to discover that even just being an influencer in Utah will fetch a premium price, because most of mormons are based in Utah. For more detailed and comprehensive explanation on this, watch her video!

Advertising is not the only way the mormon church is spending their money, they've also built a shopping mall, and are basically spending their money by investing and gambling and everything any corporation does with their profits. It's making me mad, and also makes the members of the church mad when they discover where 10% of their income goes, because they're told it's being used for charity and community service, and not advertisments and building malls.

For me this solves a mystery of how is it possible, in this day and age to have such influx of tradwives and influencers of 'traditional life', they're being sponsored by an organization making a profit off of it, making sure that anyone making this content is so well paid, they're able to live off of it, and keep creating more of it, and in the process of doing that, groom young women into their lifestyle.

Learning more about religions, specifically high-control religions, makes me realize just how much of it is happening all around us, but invisible, not naming what it is. It's similar to MLM's, the people inside are constantly trying to lure more people in, to make profit for those on the top, while the organization keeps changing names and hides their business structure in order to save their reputation. People can get influenced by it, and sucked in, without even knowing about it. Somehow most MLM's are also in Utah.

Mormon church also asked to no longer be called that, in order to stop being associated with the words like 'cult', which people have identified it as. Now they're working under more secretive names, and hidden business practices, so we wouldn't even know what we're being influenced by, and why is the content in front of us what it is.    

[moistvonlipwig]

okay back to utena. one of rgu's many best aspects imo is how it recognizes that adults who prey on teenagers are by and large not 'pedophiles' who are specifically sexually attracted to children because there's something medically wrong with them, but rather pathetic losers who want to be the one with power in a relationship so they pursue & predate on people who are much younger and less experienced and in a position of less power than they are. akio doesn't even fucking LIKE kids he thinks they're insipid and stupid he's just too much of a pathetic coward to face the real world outside ohtori so he constructs a world he can control inside ohtori instead. and while he does romanticize the youth of his victims it's also fairly clear that what he is really romanticizing is his OWN youth, his own sunlit garden that he cannot help but be nostalgic for despite the disdain he claims to have for his younger self's idealism. akio is not a 'pedophile,' he does not have any kind of abnormal attraction to children, he is just a foul loser who grooms and abuses kids because it's easier than leaving his coffin. because that's what most predators actually are.

[deramin2]

Orym's argument against Ludinus Da'leth and the Ruby Vanguard is essentially "The purpose of a system is what it does."

This is a systems theory coined by Stafford Beer around 2001. He posited there is "no point in claiming that the purpose of a system is to do what it constantly fails to do." It does not matter what someone tells you a system does if it does not reliably do that. The things it does consistently do are the actual purpose of the system.

Ludinus (and Liliana) claim the purpose of the Ruby Vanguard's violence is to free Exandria of oppression from the gods. Orym's point is that they have not consistently protected anyone from oppression. They consistently murder innocent people, indoctrinate vulnerable people into doing terrible violence (including children), support a ruling class that dominates the population through mind control and eugenics, and seek to release a predator so terrifying that the warring alien gods and native primordials worked together to seal it away as a threat to both of them.

So the logical conclusion is that the purpose of Ludinus' system is not to free anyone from tyranny, it's to install himself as the tyrant. And it does not matter what Ludinus says it's for or even what he believes it's for. The purpose of a system is what it does. And Orym has been personally and repeatedly victimized by what it does. Why wouldn't he keep reminding them of that?

Add onto that, the Ruby Vanguard is a death cult. They lure people in with believable lies. They use propaganda to control how people view them and to convince people to support them. Liliana has been groomed into a true believer who genuinely thinks what she has been told is true and that Ludinus' system does what he says it will. She has been convincing other people of this for years. Not because she's an inherently bad person but because everyone generally tries to convince others that what we believe is true. It is actually dangerous to let a cultist try to talk you into the cult's perspective. That's why Orym shuts it down.

Orym was already on edge but it's fully in a breakdown after FCG's sacrifice. One more iteration of Ludinus' system consistently murdering the people he loves. But he still told Imogen he wants her to have a good relationship with her mom again. He wants Liliana to make it through the other side of this. But that has to involve consistently stating the reality of what's happening against what she believes.

Ludinus believes in the rapture of the revolution. Burn everything to the ground on a fundamental level and a new perfect society will grow, with him to guide it. The reality is that kind of power vacuum consistently leads to horrific violence and conditions often get much, much worse. Especially for vulnerable people, who often do not survive. A lot about the gods' relationships to mortals probably needs to change, but this an incredibly dangerous gamble to fix it.

The purpose of a system is what it does. Any suggestion otherwise is cold comfort to Orym's family in the ground.

[dumbgoondog]

Sukuna NSFW Alphabet

MDNI +18 NSFW

Cw/Tw - cannibalism, blood, pregnancy

(A)ftercare - Your brains are mush, you’re covered in bruises, tears stain your face, wrists sore, bleeding in places from nails and biting, voice hoarse and dry. Then here he is, the disgraced one, the fallen, the king of curses, the man who fucked you like he hated you! Here he is gently scooping you up, massaging you, purring, his stomach mouth affectionately licking at any wounds. Carrying you to the bath, holding you to himself in the water, washing you gently, your body and hair. Using RCT output to ease any pain and aches. Praising you and treasuring you. PLEASE remember that your dom needs aftercare too. He needs to know you love him, that he wasn’t too rough, that he isn’t a monster to you. Please let him be gentle with you and you acknowledge it.

(B)ody Part - your hands. Not because it’s sexual but because if he goes blind he’ll know the gentle touch of your hands, he’ll know how you feel. How your hands don’t shy away from him, how you don’t hesitate to hold his hands. But also yes, he loves your hands grabbing at him, holding his face, stroking him, pinned beneath one of his hands.

(C)um - inside. Bella that your mouth or your hole(s). There’s a LOT so it will spill out and get every where. He likes watching it overflow

(D)irty Secret - this man has no dirty secrets. He tells it to you like it is and how he wants it… there is one thing tho. He wants to eat you. Like a religious act of worship and devotion to himself. You thought I was gonna say you yeah? Nah, that bitch has an ego. He will heal you after tho so no worries!

(E)xperience - None. Ryomen No Bitches Sukuna. I do not think he took any concubines, or consorts or anything of the sort. Pleasures of the mortal flesh… you think anyone could find pleasure in his visage without being batshit or forced? (Yorozu.) he would never force anyone too and would rather not be aware that they’re doing it for power but think he’s repulsive. that is until you.

(F)avorite Position - riding, facing him, on his throne. He likes watching you, and his stomach mouth likes licking you. This giant grabs you with all four arms and is using you like a fleshlight.

(G)oofy - He’s goofy. I see to many people make him so deadpan and stoic and “ooo I’m such a cool and sadistic top”. Bro bffr, this bitch incarnated and came out kicking his feet giggling goin “Women and children!!! Maggots for the slaughter!!!” And ripped. Off. His. Shirt. He was dancing dodging Fushiguro in their first fight. He took a bow when fighting Maharaga. He’s so silly. He praises and encourages his opponents in battle even! If something dumb happens or there’s a funny noise he’s gonna laugh. He wants you to laugh at him if he does something stupid too!

(H)air - thick messy pink hair, happy trail, and a trail down his balls too. Washed, semi groomed, smells pretty okay tbh. Light metallic undertone tho. It’s the blood of his foes.

(I)ntimacy - he fucks you like a wild beast. Growling, snarling, no words, biting, grunting. The moment you use a safe word? The moment somethings wrong? He’s stopping to make sure he hasn’t gone too far.

He’s also secretly a romantic. He knows flower language very well, and gets you flowers often(regardless of gender.) flower language and symbolism was big in the heian era, so was poetry. Sometimes he writes you poems never show anyone tho. They’re just for you.

(J)ack off - sometimes. Great stress reliever, passes time, helps when he’s bored, thinks it’s funny when he does it on his throne and there are his servants just having to stand on standby. What a power move.

(K)ink - blood, obviously. Biting and marking, duh. But hear me out on this. Primal. I’m talking hunt chase, both of you acting feral, like prey and predator. ABO that shit I guess. Submit to baser instincts, no talking just raw noises. Yeah I’m so right y’all don’t even know it(now you do tho)

(L)ocation - the throne is to obvious, the bed is a classic…and honestly I think it’s the bed. I got no reasons, just is how it is.

(M)otivation - working out, sparring, or after eating a big meal. Something about those activities puts him in the mood.

(N)o - He will not involve Uraume, he found them when they were a young kid and has helped raise them. Even if not related he was a late teen/young adult and he raised them from bein little

(O)ral - No, he HATES putting you in his mouth cause you taste baaaaddd. Fuck he loves eating, sucking, licking, he’s a hungry man. A big hungry man. Any position, anytime, let him use his stomach mouth. He knows it’s big and his teeth are sharp but god he loves having you ride his tongue and kiss you, watch you squirm.

(P)ace - he’s rough, hard, and a medium pace. Fast isn’t always good, especially when he likes being precise with every thrust. Feeling you squeeze and his tip bullying into you.

(Q)uicky - sometimes, it only if he’s getting to eat or suck you off. Quickys don’t work when you’re as big as him, you need prepping! He wishes though. He’s kinda a perv cuz he wants you smell like him and full of his cum often.

(R)isk - he’s up to try new things! There are some things he doesn’t understand and might make fun of tho. Like feet. He feels like a guy who mocks feet lovers. He doesn’t want to try it, he doesn’t care he “might” like it, he thinks it’s stupid.(his loss tbh)

(S)tamina - Much to the horror of everyone, like Kenjaku, he hasn’t tapped out ever. Despite his sweating and panting he isn’t done. Tbh he might have more stamina than Kenjaku. I need Sukuna bitching Kenjaku…

(T)oys - he fucking loves watching you use toys on yourself, not much on himself tho. He’s a freak fr fr cuz he got you plugs so after he’s cum in you he’ll plug you up. You better believe they’re custom too, it’s his blood as a jewel on the end. He’s so smug about it.

(U)nfair - as much as he loved teasing or you being a brat, he’s pretty patient but once he’s ready to go it all stops. He does like teasing you in public and some light humiliation in front of friends!

(V)olume - Growls. Grunts. Groans. Feral noises. He’s not loud loud, but he ain’t quiet. For any passing by it sounds like an animal is fighting someone in there.

(W)ild Card - he doesn’t have a pregnancy kink. Let me make that very clear. However. If he can get you pregnant expect his hands on you constantly. He’s super protective and clingy, always needs to be touching your belly. It will get annoying, cause he won’t let you piss alone. He’s also stealing titty milk. He says it’s to help you and the baby but you know he’s just a little freak. Back to the baby tho. He genuinely might start hiding the bad that he does because for once he’s like “I’m not destroying or cursing, I’m creating life, something precious.” He does have some outbursts tho and might go on rampages cuz he’s so stressed, scared, and full of emotions. He NEVER takes it out on you tho.

(X)-ray - it’s that ancient Japanese thong. He refused anything else. It’s comfortable, breathable, and one of the one things that doesn’t squeeze the life out of his dicks.

(Y)es - Worship roleplay, sacrifice roleplay, he likes it! Him being THE Ryomen Sukuna, and getting to play into that is fun! He’d be up for a “captured the king of curses and having your way with him” roleplay too.

(Z)zz - Cuddle up after a bath, eat a bit, and then he’s snoring. Or is he practicing his bear impression? Either way get comfy, if you’re not sleeping, you sure as hell aren’t leaving.

[professional-rat-eater]

i think marius might be the only character ever where, if you talk abt the horrible stuff hes done in canon, youll get ppl telling u to get it out of the main tag even though his monstrocity is. like. canon. and in the books

WARNING: Severe Marius slander ahead. I mean it. Just stop reading here if you're going to argue (again.) It's just exhausting for everyone involved, though genuine conversation is always welcome.

_______________

Right???? Imagine a fan of Armand telling you not to post about what he did to Claudia in his tag. It's a pretty significant part of his arc. Or Lestat dropping Louis in the show, or Claudia's serial killing, or Louis's neglect of Claudia. That would all be pretty strange.

And you also get called performative or a virtue signaller for discussing his most notable contribution to the Vampire Chronicles canon (grooming Armand which has a domino effect for every choice Armand makes after that point, especially regarding his personal relationships.) Interesting to know there are those who think calling a pedophile a pedophile is performative. Is this just an extension of the "it's not that deep" mentality that pollutes the way so many interact with the media they consume nowadays or is it something else?

Because it is that deep. Personal feelings, positive or negative, towards Marius aside. That is what he is. That is objectively what he is. It doesn't matter if it was only Armand, it doesn't matter if he never did it again and it doesn't change just because other characters have also done bad things. This isn't even a comment on whether it was wrong or not, though it obviously was horrific. It is an entirely neutral statement. That is what he is. It is inarguable.

There are fans of every character who downplay what their favourites do, I suppose because they don't understand the genre of what they're watching/reading, but it is undeniable that the characters who remained white or have yet to be cast (and so are still perceived as white due to the canon of the books) have a significantly higher number of people making excuses for them.

Personally, I cannot understand why Marius is the character people are riding this hard for. On top of being a child predator, he's also exceedingly arrogant, seems to have no regard for what he did to Armand beyond what is performative, he's delusional and entitled and arrogant and selfish and immature.

But above all, perhaps what is his worst crime as a fictional character is being profoundly uninteresting. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt in previous posts but he is just boring. He's a racist relic of the past who never evolved past his backwards period-appropriate colonial views. That is why he found a boy who comes from the region we would now know as Ukraine, 'educated' him, dressed him up in pretty outfits and broke him down into pieces just to put the pieces back together in a more agreeable form. You could remove all the SA and that would still be true about him. That aspect of their relationship just really drives the point home. Perhaps some research into the historical mistreatment and perception of Eastern Europeans and how that intersects with colonialism and how this concept is only rendered more profound by Assad's casting would serve these people well.

Then, when Armand reacts like all abused children do instead of being his maker's passive pretty little doll, Marius gives up on him and is content to let a cult destroy his mind even further than it already had been for hundreds of years, completely abandoning him to their torture. A true romance for the ages (sarcasm.)

Marius's abusive tendencies and the way in which they are different to other characters are the most interesting thing about him, and we can't even talk about it candidly without having people who read the absolute horror that was The Vampire Armand as a regular romance telling us off for making them feel bad about a character they chose to post publicly about loving. I'll reiterate again that you cannot willfully misinterpret a piece of media to such an extreme and then be sensitive when you see accounts that differ to your own. Have some courage in your convictions, for God's sake. No one rational and reasonable thinks someone is a bad person for liking a fictional character, but don't come on public social media and start policing people for what they think. Everyone inevitably gets their feelings hurt on social media. It's like the wild west on here. It is unrealistic to expect otherwise.

It's frustrating to me personally, I suppose, because there are so many people like Marius, fictional and otherwise. He's not special in any regard. He took a traumatised boy and tried to tame him and making him 'civilised'. It's a tale as old as fucking time. I'm sorry for the Marius defenders who find this discourse boring but you will need to get used to it because it's only going to get worse when season 3 airs and the writers continue to do what they are already doing, which is portraying Marius accurately. I apologise for everyone who will see that ancient white colonial racist buy the little boy from Delhi and destroy everything that remains of him and get annoyed that we aren't moving past that part and filling up their ao3 tag blindly with fluff.

I expect this attitude is going to change when they introduce Marius formally to the show, or at least it will be drowned out more which will be a relief. The writers know what he is and they're already showing it. They had no issue showing Lestat, Louis and Armand for exactly what they are, so I'm not sure why anyone would be convinced that Marius would be any different.

So sorry anon. This was such a long and rambling response. You're absolutely spot on and it is endlessly frustrating.

[proshippers-against-censorship]

Something I noticed is that Antis accuse nudity or showing a little bit of skin of being sexual (or even pedophilic). They scream, "That's a minor" or "stop sexualizing this character!" Meanwhile, the character they're crying about is just wearing shorts or a croptop. I've often seen these types of comments on posts that have characters wearing swimsuits that show no sexual context or suggestive themes at all. Even when the character just looks younger and fully clothed, Antis will call it "jailbait" and accuse the artist of being a predator.

The fact that the first thing they immediately think is sexualization when showing skin tells me way more about them than anything else. According to their own logic, they're the ones who are "sexualizing and fetishizing" everything.

I even use nudity (and straight up naked) in some of my artwork to show the beauty in different body types and had nothing to do with erotica in any way. I've even been accused of fetishizing different body types and told to stop making those types of art.

Another instance is when Antis called my work "material used for grooming and preying on children" and "inherently pedophilic." By the way, one of the drawings they did this to was a naked woman holding her newborn baby in her arms.

It's at a point where they're telling people (who could also be victims) that their bodies are inherently sexual, but that's nothing new. I'm AFAB (Assigned female at birth) and this reminds me of how I was told to cover up my legs and shoulders in school by teachers because I would be "distracting" boys in my class.

Antis would go feral over the fact that there's a photo out there of me that has one multiple awards. It features me as an infant, sitting on the beach, butt ass naked in the tide. It's taken from behind, and in fact is a VERY common framing for a photo - or was, at the time it was taken and in the area which I had lived in. There is no intent in this image for there to be sexual allure, and I doubt anybody has used it in such a way.

Sometimes a body is just a body. A body can exist in any form, in any state. Nudity does not equal sexual. Minimal clothing does not equal sexual. People need to shake off the puritanical values they've picked up and comprehend that.

[bonyassfish]

i think with the amount you're talking about "punishing pedophiles won't save anyone" you are really centering only your personal experiences and being disrespectful towards others. like the experience of someone who survived organized abuse will be very different from someone who survived a single instance of CSA, and both of those will be different from someone who was groomed online as a child. do you seriously mean to say arresting organized abuse rings won't save children???

???? You’re putting words in my mouth. All I said was that the focus on punishment over prevention and support for survivors is harmful, and that more prisons don’t always mean better outcomes or an end to abusers.

Yes, I do think that the Jeffrey Epsteins and Prince Andrew’s of the world should be kept away from children. No, I don’t think prison is necessarily the best way to do that.

For every big powerful circle of abusers (say, the Catholic Church), there are many people who enable them to continue this abuse; those people also must face justice. But what does justice look like when the wealthy and powerful often escape it? What does justice look like when queer and trans people are labeled sexual predators? What does justice look like when the survivors don’t get to tell their own stories, or decide for themselves what they need? How do we protect kids online from being groomed without giving conservatives excuses to ban lgbt folks and sex workers from the internet?

These are complicated questions. I don’t have all the answers. Maybe I am centering myself, but it would appear that that post has touched a nerve with many other survivors as well.

For me, my focus is on sex education as a preventative tool. It’s what I’m dedicating my professional life to. I know that if I had been taught about boundaries and consent as a young kid, I may have been able to stand up for myself and get help before the abuse got worse. Don’t just take my word for it though, there’s quite a bit of promising research in that area. And not just in the US, but globally.

Let me ask you this, genuinely: what do you think is more important: preventing more kids from being harmed and supporting survivors of abuse, or punishing perpetrators? Restorative justice doesn’t mean letting perpetrators off scot-free or giving them an opportunity to harm more kids. It just means that punishment for its own sake is at best a temporary means of social catharsis and at worst a means of continuing the cycle of abuse. And considering the high rates of sexual abuse inside prisons, I’m going to say it’s mostly the latter.

I can tell you’re angry. I am too. This is an emotional topic. But I would encourage you to channel your anger into making sure no child has to deal with what we went through ever again, instead of focusing on punishment.

Wishing you healing and support.

[ahsokatroi]

Batfam discussion. Trigger warning ⚠️ : very grown up topic.

Ok so some fanfic and tumblr writers have contemplated that after his parents’ deaths, Bruce would’ve been a massive target for grooming, as well as advances he would’ve been too young to know how to decline. He would’ve been targeted both because of his resources and because he was good looking.

He would have a lot of leftover trauma from that, possibly still going on depending on whether the playboy persona is something he willingly does or something he just doesn’t know how to get out of.

My friend is adamant that the Bruce that would use psychological warfare and scare tactics that are both subtle and not-so-subtle, would never have been the type of kid to tolerate that kind of thing, let alone take it lying down quietly.

I am of the opinion that this would only limit the number of people who are able to successfully manipulate him into staying quiet, rather than making it so no one ever succeeds. Bruce is brilliant, but at this point he’s still a child. One without the information, the experience, or the emotional maturity to know what kind of danger he’s in.

We both agree that Alfred would never have stood for it…but I argue that if Bruce had been in this kind of situation, he wouldn’t have told Alfred about it. It’s an unfortunate truth that victims, especially children, are often too ashamed/afraid to admit what’s been done to them. Alfred would’ve known something was off, but Bruce wouldn’t have wanted to bother him with his problems, and he would’ve kept his mouth tightly shut. He would’ve pretended as if everything was normal and nothing bad was happening.

Until those same predators start eyeing his kids.

The first time Dick attends a gala with him, he immediately clocks the eyes that lock onto the boy. It takes all of his self control to avoid bloodying his knuckles on their faces. Instead, he keeps Dick at his side and under his arm, subtly making it very clear that no one will be getting to his son.

The addition of Jason to the Wayne family comes with the added danger of being disliked because he grew up poor. He would be targeted as a show of dominance, not just because of wealth and attractiveness. Bruce would of course deflect those as well, but if he hadn’t already had practice keeping his temper in check while protecting Dick, he would’ve exploded at this new variety of comments and gazes.

Tim was born into this life, and his notoriously neglectful parents would not have protected him. At 13, he would be about as much a stranger to it as Bruce had been at that age. And Bruce, being himself, would know this. He wouldn’t be able to shield Tim without him knowing exactly what he was being protected from. They would have a difficult conversation after the first time Bruce steps in front of him, in which Tim would probably break down crying after being assured he will never have to face that again.

Damian’s appearance in the family would be slightly different, because he would have all three of his big brothers glaring daggers at and talking circles around anyone who so much as looks at him wrong. Bruce would still keep him under his arm, though. He’s of course capable of protecting himself, but his league training wouldn’t have included this type of threat, and no one would’ve dared to touch Ra’s grandson, so he would have no experience with this. Besides, Damian shouldn’t have to protect himself, especially from dangers like this. Which is why he is always with either his father or one of his brothers at these events, and Bruce always keeps him in his line of sight.

Clark would be the first person to realize that Bruce is putting every ounce of his self control into maintaining the facade he wears at parties. He would be the first person to confront him about it. Bruce would try to brush it off, and Clark wouldn’t let him. He’s a brilliant investigator (he has to be in order to be such a good reporter) and he knows Bruce. He would be the first person to get the truth out of him. He would be the first person to tell Bruce that what happened to him wasn’t okay, and he doesn’t have to pretend like it is. He would be the first person who isn’t a bat to see Bruce cry.

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really hard to not read shou tucker in fma 03 as a sexual predator especially against his daughter. the sense of ownership, the way he tries to "groom" ed as an alchemist and gain his trust, the experimentation, how he seeks to recreate a perfect nina who wont age or think or be much outside his idealized version of her. an unaging doll he can toy with, who he sees as his property and that he implies will be perfect as long as she is the ideal version in his head. the gendo ikari/rei coding. how obvious is it that he's a creep in every sense of the term? it's interesting to put in direct parallel to dante, herself a predator and explicitly a mother who abuses her children, who seeks to use rose's body for herself and preys on younger women for their bodies, and who tries to groom ed into her new partner. parenthood as remolding and ownership. maybe hohenheim did best in leaving his kids behind, considering his own proclivities for young impressionable women tbh