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firein-thesky · 1 year

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Chapter One: Swallow

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Masterlist | <- Prologue: Godlings | Chapter Two: Anything, Everything -> | Read on Ao3

Pairings: Satoru Gojo x f!reader

Summary: And the form leans down, closer, as their voice drops to a murmur, all honey and thorns, the promise of something far greater than you. A storm to come. The future that you will bear upon the slant of your shoulders. And when they speak, you know they’ve cursed you;

“I will teach you how to make a God.”

(Arranged marriage, angst, hurt/comfort, dark content)

Warnings (specifically for this chapter): Parental abuse (emotional and physical), possessive behavior, unhealthy relationships, toxic dynamics, and manipulation. Please be wary of overarching story warnings, too. Let me know if you think I should add any other warnings! **Please mind warnings overall and for each chapter**

Word Count: 10k

A/N: well, here is chapter one (two technically but you get it!) i hope you enjoy! another deep thank you to @lorelune who beta read this chapter as well and has been SO helpful!! i really would love to hear your feedback, questions, gripes, predictions, anything! thank you so much for reading!

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Satoru stands lonesome against the sky, head haloed by the last rays of golden sun.

He is only fourteen but holds all the world on his shoulders. He’s growing into his sharp tongue and wicked smile. His eyes are too bright, hopeful for a future he thinks he can still change and shape to his own vision.

He visits you weekly. You’re confined to your family’s grounds. You’re kept on a tight leash by your father as per requested by the clan. They can’t have you running off or forming your own thoughts quite yet.

You train your technique with other members of your clan, you learn from your aunt on how to be a good wife, your mother tries to shield you from it all. You wander around the garden when you want peace.

Satoru always meets you in the garden.

He has become your friend. Perhaps your only friend at this age. Perhaps yours, only.

He doesn’t greet you with a kiss (you are still twelve, still so young and clueless in so many ways), he doesn’t hug or reach for you.

But he does walk with you, follow you around trees and stone, dogs your steps. He does sit beside you, knee to knee, elbow to elbow.

You call him Satoru by this age. He calls you by your first name.

(By fifteen, you will start shortening his name to Toru. When he is sixteen he begins to call you darling, dear, honey—a joke, in the beginning, for your ever approaching marriage, but then not.)

You go to him now, so he isn’t so lonely against the massive sky behind him.

“You walk so lightly. Like a rabbit. Or a doe.” He says when you brush up against him.

“My father says I should wear a bell.” You reply, “did I startle you?”

But you know the answer before you even ask it. You just want to see his lips lift at the corners.

“No, but you would be cute in a bell.”

Heat engulfs the round slope of your cheeks.

You slug his arm hard enough that he gives an undignified yelp.

He never puts up his guards around you. He lets you hit him and push him and pinch him and tug on his hair. He lets you nudge him and lean against him and play with his hands. At this age, it is still a little childish, rounded with playfulness–flirting, perhaps, but in the way children do, uncertain and wobbly and with a pinch of pain.

You wonder if he’ll bruise beneath his sleeve. You think about leaving a mark on him.

“You’re getting meaner,” Satoru tells you, rubbing his arm, “sharper. More prickly. You’re going to be absolutely evil by the time we’re married–”

“I thought I was a sweet, little rabbit? Or a doe?” You counter, moving past him to the stone steps that will lead down to a small, winding path. He watches you for a moment, before following.

“I take it back. You’re something mean and vicious and quiet.” He says, shoving his hands into his pockets. He is boyish at this age, a little gangly, not quite grown into his ears or his hands. “A fox or a leopard. Something with teeth.”

As you walk ahead of him, you smile, feeling your own teeth emerge behind a tender lip. You turn to stick your tongue out at him from over your shoulder.

He picks up his pace to finally fall into step beside you.

A small stream of water bubbles softly. Koi swim lazily in the wide dip of water.

“I start school in a few weeks.” He says, “I’ve decided I want to move into the dorms to get away from my family a little.”

Your face twists, unsatisfied, a pinch of irritation.

The idea of losing him to high school–to new friends and somewhere further away, where you certainly won’t be able to visit per your father’s strict rules—is horrible to you.

You feel jealousy rise in you like a mountain at the thought that others will have him day in and day out. Jealousy that he will go and you will not; that he can escape his family and you will never be able to. The freedom of a man.

(Of a god–)

More than that, possessiveness steals your breath for a moment. At this age, you can’t name it.

Later, it will sink its claws into you; mine, mine, mine. He is only mine.

“I’ll still visit you,” Satoru says quickly, attempting to soothe you, appease whatever beast he’s awoken in you.

You think he must’ve done this with his mother, too, you think that’s why he knows how to do it.

You’re young and not quite done being hurt. You want to pout. You want all the world to know your pain. You turn away from him, walk a little further off. He follows again and it begins a chase that you lead.

“It’s not too far,” he says, and you continue to wander from him. A sigh leaves you. You pass over a small, wooden bridge.

He follows.

“I said I’d still visit you–”

You lope around a willow tree, careful of its roots.

He cuts to the other side. He stops you from running.

He catches you.

“Every week.” He adds.

You look up into his face, eyes flitting along the glasses over his eyes. He rarely takes them off. In fact, you’ve only seen his eyes a handful of times as he’s gotten older. You know them more from your dreams, from memories that you hold tight to, from the sky at a particular point in the day.

You lift your hand and without a second thought, you tug on the glasses until they fall into your waiting hands.

“Do you promise?” Your voice has an edge that he might catch himself on.

His eyes are all cosmic sapphires, too blue, too bright, too beautiful.

White lashes flutter. He is so soft looking at this age, pretty, with a dash of pink on his cheeks. His wind-chapped lips. Your boy. Yours.

“I promise.”

The world turns, but you think time must stop for you. For him. For just a moment. And you wish it always would, wish you could just keep him and trap him for yourself.

(Time must stop, for gods–)

He encircles your wrist with a big hand and you let him pull you towards him.

He isn’t so tall yet. It’s easy for you to get up into his face.

“Repeat after me,” you say.

And he smiles, “repeat after me.”

“I will always have you,” you say and it’s almost a hiss, almost with teeth. A little heat. Maybe it’s a threat, halfway to a vicious promise.

And he soothes, “I will always have you.”

You feel him squeeze around your wrist, anticipating your next words, craving them, “you will always have me.”

And he promises now, voice gaining a stronger note, “you will always have me.”

You sniff, as if you’re deciding whether to accept him or not. Then;

“And I’ll never forgive you if you don’t keep your promise. I’ll bite you with the sharp teeth you think I have.”

Satoru tosses his head back and laughs, the sun slipping through pearl locks, drenching him in its light. Always so light. His laugh so full and blooming that you want to hold fast to him, to cling to his shoulders, dig your nails into his chest. You want to hear his laugh forever. You want to shout at him because it makes heat blot your cheeks. Because it makes you angry. Because it makes you unreasonably happy.

You push him again. He laughs harder. Chases you when you dart off.

And he never misses a week–but he’ll still let you bite him with your sharp, sharp teeth.

***

Your training intensifies. So does Satoru’s in preparation for school. When you see each other, it’s a brief reprieve. Bags grow beneath your eyes. You don’t think you’ve slept well in days but everything begins to feel like a dream.

Satoru comes up with bruises and scrapes and things his mother says–

“She told me I should be untouchable without my technique.” And, “it’s just the way she shows her love–she says, sometimes it hurts a little. She says, you hurt me, when I gave birth to you, and I still love you.”

And you tell him things your father tells you, “he says it’s all I was born for. All I was made for, was to decipher Time. To know it.” And, “he’s harsh because he has to be, because the world is, and Time will be harsher still.”

But Satoru can make you laugh at least, until your sides hurt. He can drive you crazy, too, until your head spins. At least you are young with him, though, at least he makes you feel your age.

Your mother tells the two of you, watching as you shriek and chase each other in the garden, that it’s good.

That no one should take youth away from young people.

But they will anyway, she knows, they always will anyway.

***

You scour time with your amulet. Some days, you think you are mindless with it, the shell of a girl with swimming eyes that keeps darting in and out of the past. You push for the future and come up empty handed. You push for–

You can’t seem to find the person you first found. They’ve slipped through your fingers, through time.

Still, you’re relentless.

Your mother tries to pull you from your trances. Yanks the amulet from your hands until your eyes clear. You become stronger, though, unwilling to bend to her. Even when she pulls the amulet from your hands, you can still see it, time, swimming in front of you and you hold fast to its untempered currents.

It’s so old, has such a large future, too, that it is nothing like looking into a human’s lifespan. Humans become so quick for you. A blink and you’ve swallowed their whole life.

You snap at your mother, sometimes, wrench the amulet back into your clutches from her.

“It’s mine,” you seethe, “it’s mine.”

She looks as if you’ve struck her, when you act this way. Sometimes she yells back until all the house is filled with it. Until your father intervenes, until he hands you the amulet again.

Until he says, leave her.

(Hindsight is a funny thing. But you’re just a child now and you don’t understand half of it.)

You spend your days in and out of dazes, fever dreams of the past, of the haunting future. Some days you can hardly speak, your mind on fire, your eyes burning.

You cry out of frustration. Your temples throb. Some days you vomit, wretch because you’ve hardly eaten. Some days you end up barefoot, in the back garden, while it storms, staring into this amulet endlessly.

On one of the worst days, your mother calls for Satoru.

And he is the one to pull you from your stupor, yank you from all of time only for you to be met with the skyblaze of his eyes.

And you hiss at him, too.

“Don’t you understand?” You crow, “you know what this is like!”

He pulls the amulet clear from your neck and keeps it from you. You scream and shout and throw a fuss.

The one time he uses his Infinity on you to hold it far from your grasp, your sudden shouts of anger go unearthly quiet.

Tears well in your eyes.

You must look betrayed, because he drops it immediately. But it’s too late and you’re crying like a baby and he’s trying to coo and shush you.

You’re crying like your heart has been broken, like something inside of you, huge and otherworldly, has just split open and ruptured. It gushes, overflows, nearly drowns you at the idea that he would–

That’d he’d use it on you.

Untouchable.

“I’m sorry,” he says, “I’m sorry–look, it’s down.” And he touches your shoulders. Your arms. He lets you take his hands as if to prove to you that you are above his Infinity, you have collapsed it.

You sink your claws into his wrists, dig into them until blood wells to the surface and say through your hitching sobs, through your bared teeth;

“Don’t ever do that to me again.”

***

Your father is desperate for you to look into Satoru’s future. Everyone expects you to. Including Satoru, you think. Especially his mother, who watches you with all the contempt in her heart. Your whole family awaits it, the card you could hold above him, above everyone, all of the world. Your mother, who defends you at every turn, is the only one who does not press you for it. She has never pressed you for dealings of the past or the future.

You can hear your parents argue for the thousandth time about you.

“She has every right not to, if she doesn’t want to.” Your mother’s voice is strong. It’s always been strong. You hope you’ll have her voice one day.

(But you’ll realize no one listens to her still, that it doesn’t matter how great the bark if–)

“Don’t be naive.” Your father snaps.

“Do you want her to go insane?” You can hear your mother’s low hiss of a threat. “She’ll go insane if she sees too many peoples’ future–if she sees his–”

(If there isn’t any bite.)

“I told you she shouldn’t be spending so much time with him.”

“Don’t you want her to be happy?” Your mother pleads, “don’t you want her to be as safe and cared for and loved as she can be with him?”

“I keep her safe here!” Your father’s voice raises. “She has a responsibility!”

“She’s a child!” Your mother shouts back. You can hear the tears in her voice. “She’s just a child! So is he!”

There’s a slam. The pictures on the wall of your room rattle. You have already seen this. And all of their fights, you have seen your mother’s fate.

(He didn’t hit her, if it soothes you, just the wall beside her head. But it scares her enough into quieting, into hiding her teeth–all bark, no bite.)

Your father will lecture you again tomorrow morning. You will bow your head and lie, tell him that Satoru doesn’t let you touch him yet, that he always keeps up his Infinity still. It will buy you time.

Oh, time.

***

“I can’t stand you!” You scream before lobbing the apple in your hand at Satoru’s head.

It doesn’t touch him, thanks to his Infinity.

“You’re so touchy today.” Satoru muses.

“And you’re so annoying!”

“That’s right, because you’re such a dream to deal with–” he says before he can stop himself.

You freeze and he can tell he’s said something he perhaps shouldn’t have. You can tell he regrets it, by the way his mouth opens, then shuts. He’s always been good for this, little one liners that are snippy, snarky.

He’s like his mother in that way.

You have tea with her, on occasion.

And she’s beautiful like him and untouchable. She says things like, you’re a scrappy little thing, aren’t you? Like, your hair could use a trim. And, didn’t your mother teach you to dress?

You can feel tears welling in your eyes. But before they can fall, you snap at him, “get away from me.” Before he can see you crying, you turn away from him and storm off, deeper into your garden. Your garden that has always cradled you.

Instead, he lurches towards you, “don’t be like that–”

You can feel him hot on your heels, taking quick strides to try and catch up with you.

You want to make it hurt worse. You want to reduce him to these tears that prick your eyes. It isn’t fair, you think, to have this heart, and this boy who you’d do anything for–

You turn sharply and he almost runs into you, hard stops and comes up short. And before he can open his mouth again, you hiss, “it’s not a dream being stuck with you, either.”

He rears back a little.

“You’re being mean.”

“I’m being honest.” You sneer.

So fast your eyes don’t even catch it, he’s got your wrist in his hand, pulling you towards him. “Then let’s break the vow,” he threatens, “if that’s how you feel. I’m sure I could figure it out.”

You squirm in his hold, pull a little, but he tightens his grip. The look in his eyes, above his glasses, is strange. Otherworldly. Challenging in a way that makes a thrill go up your spine.

“Is that how you feel?” You demand, all teeth.

He softens a little, and then;

“I haven’t figured it out yet, have I?”

You glare up into his face, “have you tried?”

“A little.” He admits and it hurts worse than it should, a wound to the chest, a sudden stinging in your eyes.

“Because I’m just so awful–”

“Because I’m so awful.” He says softer than you anticipate, “I’m not stupid–we’re both young. Neither of us had much of a say in it. And I know–I know your life would be easier without being tied to me.”

You glance down at your wrist still in his hand. You don’t try to fight him anymore, though.

“Do you want out?” You ask tentatively, terrified of the answer, your heart like glass in his hands, ready to be shattered.

“I don’t try very hard,” he admits, “selfishly,” he pulls you a little closer to him and perhaps it’s the first time you’ve been this close to him. “I want to keep you. I don’t want to be alone. And I don’t think–”

His thumb, tender, gentle, rubs against the pulse point of your wrist. You hold your breath.

“I don’t think there’s anyone else.”

You sink your nails into his tender hand, stilling his movement, and look up at him with all the venom in the world. And you vow, voice sweeter than the look in your eyes, disarmingly so;

“There isn’t.”

***

“It’s you.”

The person who greets you in the amulet this time is different from the first one, you can tell by their voice, by the shape of them that slowly comes into focus.

You clutch your amulet tight.

Their face is clearer, a man that must, in some way, be an ancestor of yours. You can tell because his eyes are like yours, the base of his are brown, but then a slash of silver in one, a speck of gold in the other.

You are peering into the past at someone who is peering into the future at you–it makes your temples throb to think about.

“I don’t understand how you know me–” You get out, “I don’t understand how we can speak to each other.”

The man eyes you, brows furrowing, almost into a glare. “You’re the only one who ever figured it out,” his voice is smoky, soft and old. “You’re the one that figured out we could communicate by finding the exact moments in time when we peer at each other; right now, you are looking into the past, at this exact moment, at me through the amulet, while I look into the future at this exact moment, at you through the amulet.”

“But I didn’t–”

“Imagine folding paper in half and stabbing your pen through both sides at once.” He continues.

“I didn’t figure that out.”

Your voice is quiet. Just a child’s voice.

“Not yet.” He says and it’s accusatory. In the tense silence, you feel guilt for something you have not yet done. You can feel his judgment. Eventually, his face softens fractionally, “you’re still young now. Still innocent, huh? I forget–”

His voice catches.

“I forgot that you were once this young and unknowing.”

You don’t know what to do with that, how to feel. “So you know me differently?”

“Very differently.”

“When I’m older?” You ask, “can you tell me more?”

He shakes his head, “I don’t think I should.”

“You’re supposed to teach me.” You respond and perhaps it is accusatory. His eyes flash, a flickering of recognition. As if to say there you are, the one I know.

Regretfully, he nods. “I will. We all will. Until you surpass us and then we’ll spend the rest of our days peeling through time to try and catch up to you.”

You aren’t sure what to say or how to respond, you’re not sure what you should feel or do. You frown.

“Do you ever catch up to me?” You ask when you can think of nothing else.

He smiles now, a little bitterly, but almost fondly, “no. You leave us all in the dust.”

“Does that make me your best student, then? Out of all the other Hindsight and Foresight users?”

A laugh is startled out of him and the hand that is holding up the amulet, the same hand of yours, lifts so you’re both eye to eye. Amulet to amulet. Hand to hand in two different places and two different times.

Past to future.

“The very best of us all.”

***

Satoru begins school.

He upholds his promise and tells you about his new classmates. He gushes about their potential; a girl with the ability to reverse her cursed technique and a boy who can swallow curses to control them.

Not to mention his seniors, all so shiny and exciting to him.

Jealousy curdles inside of you, bubbling and ugly. You can’t quite swallow around it. You can’t quite stomach it.

But he wants you to meet his other first years, Ieri Shoko and Suguru Getou. He wants them to know you, he wants you to know them. He wants those important to him to get along.

He brings them to you in the garden and you can’t help but feel as if they’re intruding on this little world you and Satoru have created since you were young. Since you first became engaged.

When you see them with Satoru, flanking his sides, you have to fight the urge to glare, to bare your teeth to them.

Satoru sings your name, though, excited, so you slip out from your hiding place among the trees and flowers. You’re quiet as you approach, one foot carefully over the other, like a predator watching. Waiting.

It is only Satoru who senses you behind them, who turns sharply and laughs when he finally spots you.

“Trying to surprise us?” He asks.

“Something like that,” you answer, eyes flickering over the two beside him.

He smiles nonetheless and introduces you proudly, introduces you as his fiance.

“So strange to think you have a fiance at your age.” The girl, Ieri, says.

Satoru shrugs, “we’ve known since we were young–plenty of time to accept our fates, huh?”

You hum, “funny choice of words.”

The dark-haired boy who's been watching you a little too closely finally says, “your technique is with time, isn’t it? Satoru was telling us–”

You finally approach and it’s a little too close, enough that it makes Ieri shift uncomfortably. But to his credit, Suguru doesn’t budge, even as you look up into his face and ask, “what else does Satoru tell you?”

Suguru smiles slowly, disarmingly so, like a cat. “That you’re pretty. And smart. I can tell he likes you a great deal.”

And despite it all, you can see Satoru’s cheeks flush darkly out of the corner of your eyes. He fidgets, “I think I said–”

“What has he said about me?” Suguru asks and the darkness of his eyes is mesmerizing. The exact opposite of Satoru, where his eyes seem to reflect light, Suguru’s consume it.

You hold his gaze for a fraction more before severing it. You turn away, wander a little further off as you say over your shoulder, “he hasn’t.”

Suguru laughs as Satoru squawks, beginning to deny you but Suguru interrupts him cooly, “you’re a poor liar.”

“He’s mentioned Shoko, though–you can reverse your cursed technique, can’t you?” You respond, just to get under his skin. This time, it’s Ieri that laughs, an amused huff.

“That’s me.” Her eyes, sly and tired, slip to Satoru, “anything else he’s said about me?”

“That you smoke too much.” You say and this time, you’re being truthful, perhaps too truthful. Enough that you can feel Satoru’s eyes on you. You’re trying to cause trouble and he can tell. Your smile is knowing, just a little too barbed, “those things’ll kill you, ya know.”

The irony is not lost on them.

You wander further away to test Satoru, see if he will follow you or stay with his friends. You can feel his draw, his uncertainty for a moment. But surprisingly, it is Suguru who moves after you first.

“Will you come to school with us? When you’re old enough?” Suguru asks and Satoru is on his heels. Ieri lollygags behind.

You can feel the heat and attention of Suguru and for whatever reason, it makes warmth bloom deep in your cheeks and for all your trouble and bravado, you are perhaps still just young. You bite the inside of your cheek to keep from smiling at his attention, at the way they follow you. You face resolutely forward and don’t allow them to see the full scope of your face.

“No, my father forbids it.” You tell him, leading them through a maze of lush flowers and small trees that lope over your heads.

“I told you, I’ll fight for you to go.” Satoru pipes up and because he knows the garden well, he takes a sharper left, beats you around a hedge to stop you in your tracks. Suguru almost runs into you. “I’ll tell him I want an educated and trained wife.”

“Gross,” Ieri scoffs, and then she says dryly, “who knew you were such a traditionalist, Gojo?”

“I’m not! But I have to speak his language!” Satoru protests, “you two don’t know her father. The clans. They’re impossible and archaic.”

You think of your mother, at one point, in your position; betrothed to a man at your small age. But she didn’t know the future and your father was no revolutionary. No, he didn’t shake heaven and earth with his birth. He was not meant for greatness.

The only greatness he would achieve is you. You think he resents you for it, you think that is why you are kept so firmly beneath his thumb.

You think your mother should resent you for getting more, for being her warped reflection of could’ve been and should’ve beens. You wish you saw more of yourself in her, sometimes, that you weren’t growing into such a beast. That you weren’t so gifted or strange or burning.

You have learned, though, that the difference between you and your mother will be her life. Lamb-hearted woman she is, you resent her for not being you. For not having bigger teeth, for not resenting you more.

“But you’re going to change it all, is that right?”

Suguru’s voice slices through your thoughts, cool and cleanly.The way he says it, like it’s hardly a question but an accusation, sends a shiver rippling through you. There is an undercurrent to his voice that makes you go completely still, the way a predator does when it senses danger. “That’s what you said, isn’t it?”

You know now that you will have to lay your hands on Suguru. For Satoru, you will dig into the pits of his future and pull it out with your own trembling fingers.

Satoru looks at you, “I’m trying to. We’re trying to.”

“We have our work cut out for us.” You tell Satoru and with your back to Suguru, you mean it only for him.

We, as in just us. Just us two, always.

You try to shut Suguru out, maybe, you try to shut them both out. But it is hard and as they talk and joke and amble with you in your garden, as you watch them interact with Satoru and with each other, you understand horribly what it is that Satoru likes so much about them.

Unfortunately, there will be no ridding Satoru of them. Unfortunately, they will stick and stay and bleed into your life.

So unfortunately, you will get attached. And worse than that, you will then need to learn how to get unattached, because you will know exactly the path they will walk and it isn’t one you are interested in enduring to love them.

But still you will love them.

Even though you know.

You will always know.

***

When you are fourteen and it comes time for you to enroll in school, Satoru fights tooth and nail to get your father, your clan, to allow you to join him. He hems and haws, he bickers and makes scathing comments, he acts out. He tries to pull every card that he has.

None of it works.

And for the millionth time, Satoru comes storming out of the room he’d been speaking with your father in again. You are never allowed in, even though all they do is discuss you. You are their centerpoint and yet you remain outside the doorway, lingering, listening faintly to your name pass between their lips.

They are very naive, to think you don’t know all of this already. For how miraculous your technique has been treated, they have the strangest tendency to forget how it works, what it implies for you. Even Satoru at times forgets, perhaps purposefully, what you know, what it must mean. You don’t think he wants to think about what it might imply about you or who you are becoming, at least not yet.

Still, you follow after him quickly, leaving your father behind, “I told you—“

“I’ll keep trying.” He clips, heading through the winding halls, towards the front entrance. You want to reach out and grab him, stop him in his tracks, force yourself in front of him, but you wouldn’t dare touch him where you know your father watches closely.

Instead you say his name, sharply, a little ringing.

It has the same effect. He stops. His back is to you, shoulders raised slightly in tension.

“I told you, my father will not change his mind. He never will.”

Satoru’s shoulders drop with a hard exhale.

“Do you know this for certain? Is this—“

The future?

“Yes.” You respond coolly, “I will never go to school with you. I have known this for a while.”

“Well, now it must be a self-fulfilling prophecy because you told me this. If you’d never have told me, would it still happen? Or would I keep trying until they let you come to school with me? In telling me this, does it make me give up? So you never do?” He asks, turning finally to face you. “Why tell me this? Whose future did you see to know this?”

So many questions. You can feel the sudden tension between you—the surge of distrust or inkling in the back of his mind about you. It must be all of his doubts rushing forward.

He must be wondering why you told him this, why you won’t tell him more then.

“My mother’s.” You respond, “she argues with my father about this, too, and to no avail.”

Satoru stares hard at you. And you hate the look on his face, the sudden unease as he gazes at you, like he doesn’t quite recognize you. Upset and anger prickle inside of you.

“Why do you look at me like that?”

“Like what?” Satoru asks.

You narrow your eyes, “don’t play dumb.”

He pauses. And then, as if hesitantly, he decides to ask, “can you change the future once you know it?”

And right now you are only fourteen, still rather naive, if not growing sharper and quicker, slicker. You have an inkling. You could share it with him; I think you can. I think, if I play everything correctly, I could. I think if I–

Instead, you say, “I’m not sure yet. I’m still learning.”

“Are you experimenting with me?” He asks and it surprises a laugh out of you.

“Well, now that you say it–”

Finally, his smile crooks up in the corner. The tension in him snaps and gives out, deflating him. He takes a few steps towards you. He is lanky at sixteen and stands a head over you (he’ll keep growing, taller and a little broader, muscled beneath your future hands).

“You’ll tell me, won’t you?” He asks, “when you figure it out?”

Now it’s your turn to stare hard at him.

“Of course.” You say and instantly, you recognize it for what it is;

The first lie you’ll ever tell Satoru Gojo.

***

Over the years, Ieri and Suguru will visit you frequently. With Satoru and without. With each other and without. Ieri will let you take drags of her cigarettes, put it up to your lips, let her fingers press there, too. Suguru will wander around the garden with you aimlessly, he will playfully flirt, he will tease you. Both will confide in you. Both you will love and hate; love them for who they are, who they could be and hate them for having pieces of Satoru. Hate Suguru for who he will become.

You hate him for what he will do to Satoru.

You decide relatively quickly that on an instance where one of them allows you to touch them, or touches you, that you will peer into their futures.

Ieri’s comes easily, she is always leaning and draping herself over you. She is always sharing candy and cigarettes and swigs of alcohol she sneaks past your father to you. You have learned that if you don’t want people to suspect you have peered into their future, you must do it at a time that seems light-hearted, simple, fleeting.

She leans her head on your shoulder one night as the sun slips easily beneath the trees. It’s a Friday night.

She says, “I wish you could come out with me. The boys are pissing me off.”

And you are barely able to get out a very plain, far away, “me, too,” before your vision tunnels. You are careful to breathe through it. You are careful not to make a sound as her life begins to play out in your mind’s eye. Cursed energy that takes her shape shimmers to life in front of you.

At once, you see her very plainly.

But what you care about most, is that she will always be loyal to Satoru. That is what you sought and what you found. A knot unravels inside of you, unspools easily and your suspicion of Ieri dissipates. Momentarily, you sink into the feeling–but in peering into her future, you’ve caughten another glimpse of Satoru’s.

Another piece to the puzzle of his future that you are slowly attaining.

(One day, you will know all of it, one day you will guard all of it, one day you will swallow all of it and stomach what comes with it.)

But today, you sink into Ieri’s side, back in the present, and let the smell of smoke cloud your mind. You breathe it deep, only for her to press the cigarette up to your lips, soft fingers and all. You inhale and let it burn.

You sputter out a cough, which gives way to Ieri’s rough laugh, her head tipping onto your shoulder, and the sun drenching you in its last light.

You’ll let her curl herself around some part of you. She’ll ask you one day, as everyone does, “did you ever look into my future?”

And they’re never sure if they want the truth.

You’ll smile, though, an asp’s clever grin, and drawl, “we’re still friends, aren’t we?”

***

Nanami Kento and Yu Haibara are your age. You would be in their grade, if Satoru had gotten his way and your father had allowed you to attend Jujutsu Tech. You meet them only briefly, but even then, Satoru catches the way you create a reason to touch each of them. For Haibara, it is just to brush past him, knocking elbows a little.

(At the time, it wasn't so bad. It doesn’t startle you. He is not a domino effect. But he can be–you know he is the perfect sacrifice.)

For Nanami, you are braver. You sweep his hair from his face, “I want to see your eyes.” You say boldly and though Nanami recoils back slightly, glancing quickly at Satoru, you have already gotten what you need.

(Nanami, you think with a slight sigh, you like a great deal. Both loyal and caring. Enough so that he would give his life for Satoru, for what Satoru wants. Martyr-boy, golden-hearted, he is perhaps the best of them.)

Afterwards, you can tell Satoru is displeased in some way, prickly.

“You’re upset,” you say when it is only the two of you in the garden again.

He opens his mouth to deny you, you think, but then promptly shuts it.

“Do you do that with everyone now?” He asks carefully.

Your eyes flash to him, “do you want the truth?”

He stutters a step towards you, but holds himself back, careful, unsure. “Always.”

“Then ask again, as if you actually want it.” Your voice doesn’t sound quite like your own. It’s beginning to slip from you, become someone else’s, you think. You’re losing whatever cadence you had as a child, losing the tone that used to reflect your mother’s.

You see the furrow of his brows, but don’t see his eyes behind the wrappings. He frowns. “What has gotten into you?”

You, something inside of you hisses, but it’s older, a little foreign. It almost sounds like–

“Do you want to know or not?” You ask instead, flippant, but your eyes burning, hot.

“I don’t like what you’re becoming,” he says suddenly, and once he’s said it, he doesn’t stop, “I knew you should’ve come to school with me, I knew it wasn’t good for you to be stuck here with your father and the clan–is this their doing?”

Your laugh is sharp, tittering, almost, a little off-kilter.

It’s so ironic, isn’t it? To think he knows what’s best. People think they know everything and they think you know so little.

You step towards him, have to tip your chin up, rock onto the tips of your toes just to get into his face now.

“You know what’s best for me now, do you?” The wind picks up like your voice has agitated it, rushing past, between, around you two. “My fiance knows what’s best for me?”

“I didn’t say that,” he replies and the sudden inability to see his eyes makes your anger spark and break into a fire.

You reach up, snatch the bandage from his eyes so quickly that your nails catch the delicate skin of his face. It unspools around his neck. He doesn’t flinch, though, his eyes now finally finding yours without the barrier, looking you over like he’s trying to root around inside you.

The wind is sharper this time, colder, it whips past both of you, pulls at your clothes.

“Ask. Me. Again.” You bite out, the flash of your teeth make his eyes skip down to your mouth, back up.

When he asks, something in his voice has changed. It isn’t the voice of the boy you grew up beside, but someone stepping into godhood. Satoru Gojo the Untouchable.

Regret pulls inside you like a dog at the end of its leash, don’t be untouchable to me. Not me. Never me.

“Do you do that with everyone now?” He asks again and he needs to know.

“Yes,” you breathe, just a hiss of your breath through your teeth. And because he suddenly feels far from you, you reach up, and lay your palm to his cheek. He never put up his Infinity, he never blocked you out. Your shoulders ease, you can feel relief hit you like a rush of cool water.

Still yours. Still close.

He swallows hard, like he isn’t quite sure what to do with that information. You know he is weighing his next question carefully.

You thumb the little scratch you left on his cheek, streaked pink against his pale skin, let your nail drag featherlight over it again, like you’re thinking of making it deeper. Oh, to scar the Untouchable.

“For your clan?” He forces himself to ask.

You shake your head fractionally, make an irritated little noise, “you think so little of me? I thought you knew me so well? We hate the clans.”

Satoru finally brings his hand up to cradle yours, lets his cheek sink into your palm, even with the threat of your nails. Maybe especially.

“Then for who?”

You, a voice inside of you howls like the wind, oh, you, you, you.

“For us.” You say instead, “for our future.”

When he remains silent, you press on, “isn’t this what I’m supposed to do? This is my technique–should I never use it?” You turn on him, and then when you’ve got it between your teeth, you shake hard, “are you scared of it? Scared of me?”

“No,” Satoru says quickly, “never you.”

“Then why are you upset?” You snap, low and hot. Your fingers begin to dig a little more desperately into his skin, angle his face so he can’t look away, so he can’t run, “why do you look at me like that?”

Satoru is silent for a long moment.

You let him be.

Eventually, he turns his face into your palm and you feel the brush of his lips, soft, a little shy.

It brings a surge of warmth to your cheeks.

(You’ve never even kissed yet, only poked and prodded and tickled and held and brushed and scraped. Never felt his lips like this. Never felt his words on the inside of your wrist–)

“Would you tell me? If what you saw was–” he won’t finish the sentence.

“Do you want to know?” You ask again. “Do you want to know the future?”

He weighs it, you can feel the way he gets heavier in your hands with the decision, let your fingers slip down his jaw, brush over the pulse that thuds at his throat.

“Say I did,” he murmurs, “would you tell me?”

“Yes,” you answer, but as you study his face, you know he doesn’t want it. “If you could stomach it.”

“Can you?”

“I was fed it until I could.” You let him go finally, “I can tell you can’t.”

You turn away.

The wind rushes through you, carves its distance between you two.

When you move to walk away, Satoru follows you as if compelled, jerks forward to you as if pulled by a string. “Do you want me to?”

“Would you learn to stomach it for me?” Make yourself sick with it? Make yourself mad with it? Would you do it all for me, too?

“You’ve learned to stomach it for me.” He answers and so you pause to let him catch up to you as a reward.

When you look at him this time, something inside you softens, “I will only feed you what you can stomach, if you want it.”

You are not lying.

Satoru lets out a slow breath and chooses to allow you to decide what he can swallow around. He decides he can trust what you feed him, that it will go down easy and not poison him, that you won’t make him regret it.

He nods, agreeing.

His trust blossoms hot and sweet inside of you. You have to hold back a satisfied grin; a cat with a canary, beautiful white feathers fluttering by your feet.

You look ahead, let the wind catch your hair, cut across your cheeks.

You summon the vows that now feel like an ancient part of you, old words, soothing words;

“Repeat after me.”

As if possessed, he says, “repeat after me.”

You smile, slow and knowing, “I will always have you.”

He leans into it, takes it easily from you, “I will always have you.”

“You will always have me.”

Like prayer, he finishes, “you will always have me.”

And after, when the wind gusts and pulls at you, you dare to admit to him, “Keep Nanami close. He will always be loyal to you.”

You don’t turn to look at him, but you can tell he has gone inhumanly still. After a moment, he dares to ask, “and Haibara?”

Your lips twist, just a flash of a grimace like the quick arch of a bat’s wing.

You refuse to look at him when you say, “just leave Haibara to me.”

When he swallows around that, too, you know now that you’ll always have him eating from the palm of your hand.

***

Suguru only visits alone at dusk. Twilight suits him in the same way that you think dawn suits Satoru.

Usually, Suguru comes to you pensive, almost irritable. You imagine he can’t decide what to do or think of you, you imagine he can sense your animosity or jealousy, you imagine he is too clever to not know what it means if you, a user of Foresight, do not like or trust him.

You know his future intimately. You see it behind your eyelids at night, hot and simmering, too brutal, too brilliant. You have memorized it the moment that you saw it, replayed it over and over and over until it no longer made you sick. Until you could look him in the eyes again. You know it so well that you think you could recite it to someone who asked, could say Suguru’s words to him before he ever even thinks of them himself.

You think that must mean you know him intimately, too.

When he finds you, you frown, and then ask, “what are you doing here?”

“Delightful, as usual.” He responds lazily.

You grin at him, “where’s Satoru?”

“Mission.” He responds a little too bluntly.

You sink your claws into it, “without you?”

He doesn’t rise to your bait this time, “your father’s in a bad mood.”

You pause.

Your father isn’t happy with you. He never is, though, he never will be.

“Why are you here, Suguru?” You ask instead, drifting around the trunk of a tree to emerge on the other side of him.

“I can’t visit a friend?” He counters.

“Are we friends?” You ask. “I don’t like you.”

He laughs then, warm and low and in a way that reminds you that he is just shy of being a man. “You wound me.” He says, turning over his shoulder to face you, to let you come up to his chest.

There is something magnetic about Suguru, you can feel the pull of him, like he’s ready to swallow you whole, too. Ingest you if you aren’t careful.

He reaches out suddenly and you force yourself to remain very, very still. Suguru’s hand, careful, graceful, tucks a strand of loose hair behind your ear.

“Satoru asked me to check on you while he was away.” He admits and at the mention of his name, you allow Suguru’s fingers to linger at your jaw.

“When will he be home?” You ask instead, uncharacteristically subdued for the moment. Suguru must realize it, because he becomes bolder, steps closer.

You let Ieri touch you and wrap her arms around you, lean her head against your shoulders and pull you into her lap. You let her drape herself across you, crawl over top of you. Tuck up against you. Satoru knows. He doesn’t mind, rather, you think he’s pleased that you’ve found a friend in Ieri.

But with Suguru–

“When will he be home?”

“You don’t know?” Suguru asks and something in your expression must give you away, because it is his turn to dig into wounds, “he didn’t tell you?” Faux sympathy touches his voice, like you’re a cat to coo at. His knuckle traces lightly along the line of your jaw.

His brow arches fractionally as his thumb traces over the line of your chin, to your bottom lip, “or better yet, you didn’t look into his future? Know when he will return to you? That he would return safely?”

Anger is a slow rumbling beast inside of you, raising its weary head, cracking open an eye.

“I thought you knew everything.” He insists.

When his thumb parts your lips, you sink your teeth down onto his thumb, hard and quick.

But he laughs again, surprised, delighted.

He squirms his thumb out from between your teeth, wretches it away, letting you swallow around the faint taste of his skin once it’s gone.

“It’s always been so amusing to me, to see bruises and scratches and bite marks in Satoru’s skin. He is supposed to be untouchable and yet–”

“What do you want?”

(You know what he wants.)

“–he isn’t. Not to you.”

“Never to me.” You agree, if only to spite him.

“I’m only here to check on you,” he says, but his voice is strange, always setting off alarm bells in your mind. “Just as he asked.”

“Aren’t you a good friend?” You sneer, because you know what he will do, you know how this ends. You know because–

“The very best,” he answers and it is almost sad, voice losing some of its bravado, its oil. All water now. It pulls at you. You swallow hard. “I only came to check on you.”

He means it this time.

You look at him, hard and long, before you say, “did you enjoy it?”

“What?”

“Walking in his footsteps? Coming here like you’re him? Trying to touch me like you’re him?” You ask and your voice isn’t mean, but honest, genuinely curious. “Do you want me to treat you like him, too?”

Surprise parts his lips, rounding out his eyes fractionally.

“Do you want to be him? Or have him the way I do?”

But then his surprise sloughs off, melts away into a slow revelation. His face transforms, suddenly open.

“You’re jealous of me,” he realizes.

“In the same way you’re jealous of me.” You answer him and his smile is a slow, confident curl.

“In the same way that we’re both jealous of him.” Suguru says and his voice is just a rasp, caught somewhere in the space between you two, in the horrible truth of it all.

You turn your head away from him, give him your profile, but he snatches your jaw back quickly and forces you to look at him.

“If I was him, I would marry you and make another garden to keep you trapped in. I would perfect a veil you could never get through. I would keep you safe somewhere. I would keep you on a leash somewhere.” The admittance frees from his mouth and makes you squirm and fuss, suddenly struggling in his hold, “I would never let you out of my sight.”

You claw a little at him, jerk your head free enough from his grasp to bite out, “it’s a good thing you aren’t–”

“I think he underestimates you. I think you’re his blind spot.” Suguru says, eyeing you, almost glaring at you, trying to unravel you with his gaze alone and pull you apart. “I think you have something horrible inside of you.”

It’s your turn to laugh, wildly, letting your head fall back a little in his grasp. Crowing up to the sky.

“Suguru,” you say his name, “Suguru,” you sing it, clawing at his clothes, his arms, up to his chest and shoulders, “Suguru,” you purr, laughing again, looking up into his face until the clash of your eyes could have sparked and burned a whole forest down. You look at each other, horrid reflections of one another, a wretched mirror, and smile the way he does, like a lazy cat that’s caught the truth between its teeth;

“I think the same of you.”

***

Your amulet winks in the sun. You let your eyes flutter, let it pull you throughout time.

One of your ancestors is on the other side; the man who you’ve seen several times. Who sees you now and frowns as if you’re a bad omen.

“Hello, again,” he still says.

“You don’t look pleased to see me.” You say, and then before you can stop yourself, “my father looks at me like that.”

His face instantly crumples, “I’m sorry–I’m sorry.” He shakes his head, “sometimes, I think you just needed someone to treat you like your age, to treat you kindly.”

“My mother does.” You say, almost defensively. Infinitely, you are defensive of your mother, you wish you could covet her. You wish you could be her. You wish the world hadn’t been so cruel to her. And then you speak, “but my father will kill her.”

You think about Zeus, sometimes, and how his father swallowed him whole. How he had to gut him to get out.

“I’m sorry,” he says again, “we’ve tried countless versions to–”

Slowly, you realize, “you’re trying to save me.”

He looks too guilty for that.

“No,” you say carefully, “you’re trying to stop me.”

You wonder if they should’ve stopped Zeus, too.

Formidable you are, they can’t quite seem to do it, though, somehow, someway, it is always you.

“I often think it’s the same thing.” He says gently, “but at every turn, we’re stopped.”

“By who?” You ask.

He goes silent now and the vision begins to bend and run, like watercolors washing together on a page, it’s all going sideways.

“By the person who orchestrated this all from the beginning, the one we can’t–”

Stop.

***

You plant seeds now.

You begin to throw fits, as your clan calls them. Whatever that means.

Tantrums, is what your father bemoans about, warning your mother that if you don’t cut this shit out, he’d do it for you.

But you have days where you won’t stop screaming and crying. When you start, you realize sometimes it just won’t stop, like there is a beast howling inside of you. Agonized. It burns and aches in the pit of you, to get on all fours and cry and cry.

To sob wretchedly. To wail until it fills your whole house with that sorrowful noise.

You thought, at first, you were only doing it for yourself. For what you needed. It’s realer than you can understand, the tears are real, cutting down your face, the anger is real. The heartbreak.

You break things. You and your father scream at each other.

He slams hands against walls beside your head.

He grabs you too harshly, shakes you so hard that your teeth click in your head, and all you do is fight and kick. Moan and cry. Growl and hiss through clenched teeth.

At some point, you always beg for Satoru.

And at some point, your mother always sends for him.

And he always comes.

Always.

It happens once, twice, three times, until there are too many to count.

He always comes.

Your father won’t hurt you in front of him. Your clan, everyone, leaves you to him, since he is the only one who is able to calm you.

(You plant the seeds now, so when you need them–they’ve already grown.)

Behind closed doors, he holds you, cradles you to his chest and coos until you can calm down. You’re reminded of being children like this, puppying up next to his side, against him.

You think he loves it, being needed by you. Being the only one who could soothe you.

(The only one who can ruin you.)

Possession blossoms in him and tenderly, you nurture it.

Until one day he looks at you, with your tear stained face and sniffling nose, thumb brushing beneath your eyes, along your faded little scars, and says;

“I think I owe you an apology.”

You pick your head up a little, tilt it to the side.

He gives you a sad smile, loving, and doting, but infinitely sad.

“I think I made you–” he murmurs, “I think I made you like this.”

And when he says he’s sorry again, you can’t help but feel he isn’t that sorry, after all.

You know you aren’t, at least.

***

Your side is slammed into the wall, hard enough to make your teeth clink together, but slow enough that you knew it was coming. You know how this argument goes. You know everything your father is about to say before he even says it.

Your mother is pounding on the locked door. It is best she doesn’t see this.

She screams and scratches at the wood for you, wailing, begging him not to hurt you in any way. Her whole life she has begged for you.

You think Rhea must’ve begged Kronos like this, too.

A knot aches in your throat, tears blurring your eyes as you listen to her scream, and scream, and scream. You refocus on your father.

He approaches you again, lifting you by the front of your clothes, up from the ground. “I’m sick of your excuses,” he hisses to you. “I know you have had opportunities to look into this future.”

“He keeps his Infinity up around me–”

“Bullshit.” Your father slams you again against the wall, the back of your head colliding hard enough with the wall that it leaves a dent. Pain radiates up the back and you think you can feel the slow warmth of blood blossom there.

Something inside of you goes completely still and quiet.

Then it roars forward like an animal at the end of its leash.

“You refuse to look into his future–I will not have raised a weak, sentimental–” Your father drops you in a heap, turns away from you as he rakes a hand through his hair, “you’re just like your mother.”

You can feel blood slide down the back of your neck. You reach around to touch tentatively at the wound, your fingers returning to you slick and shining with it. You rub it between your fingers before peering up at your father.

With everything inside you, you wish you were like your mother.

“I am not,” you say simply and he rounds on you again.

“Then prove it to me that–”

“I will kill you one day.” You tell him and there isn’t a threat in your voice.

He freezes, hovering above you.

You smile at him, slow, all teeth.

“What did you say?” He asks and maybe he’s trying to intimidate you, but you can hear the note of fear in the question, the tremble that he can’t contain.

So you say again, slowly, so he can understand you perfectly, “I will kill you one day.”

“How dare you threaten me–”

He raises his hand like he will strike you.

“It isn’t a threat, father.” You tell him, “it’s just the future.”

The slap stings but it only makes you laugh. Barking. Hysterical. Your mother has gone quiet.

All the world has gone quiet, you think, with what you’ve said.

You pick yourself up from the ground and rise, a little unsteady, as more blood rushes from the wound in your head. But your father doesn’t move, doesn’t budge, frozen in shock, maybe fear, as you return to the door and open it slowly.

You will gut him one day, crawl out of his belly victorious.

Your mother falls into your arms in a heap. You hold her, let her hold you, let her fold you into her arms and cradle the wound at the back of your head like you’re a child again. You look at your father over her shoulder and the look on his face is nothing short of horror.

You must have proved to him that you are nothing like your mother, after all.

***

Masterlist | <- Prologue: Godlings | Chapter Two: Anything, Everything ->

#gojo satoru x reader #satoru gojo x reader #gojo x reader #satoru gojo x you #gojo satoru x you #gojo x you #satoru gojo x y/n #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo x y/n #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #cielo writes #cielo’s writing #godmaker

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lovingdabeessss · 7 months

Note

i have to ask ur thoughts on this bcs i saw it from someone also crying abt in on twitter. so, yangs reaction to missing rubys birthday bcs she was super depressed + ruby leaving

🥺🥺🥺

Why would you do this to me!!!!!!!!!

GOD

Aaaaaaaaaaaaa

Ok well

I think they’d both be really really upset about it

Yang and Ruby have never spent so long apart and they’ve definitely spent all their birthdays together and I can imagine Yang tried to make Ruby’s birthdays extra special

I personally believe when they were kids after summer died birthdays became kinda forgotten about like most celebrations

But i think Yang would try and keep it alive for Ruby

I think maybe ruby’s birthday was the first thing the two of them genuinely tried to celebrate after summer died and so it’s special for them

I’m personally not sure If Halloween is truly celebrated in remnant or not I know it was in Chebi but that’s not cannon and they don’t exactly have like and of the possible origins but if they do actually have it or their own stand in (because it makes sense for them to have something similar a holiday to be happy and dress up as grim to try and scare them off) then it’d make rubys birthday something easy to remember even if qrows on a mission so he can get home in time to celebrate and while ruby’s gone on a her own mission it’s a painful reminder she’s without Yang and yangs without Ruby

If it’s not a real holiday in the Ruby universe then there’s a possibility ruby missed her own birthday

Stressed out and without someone to remind her or celebrate it it slips her mind

Yang wouldn’t miss it tho

Maybe she sits in rubys room and spirals into herself because she can’t be there to celebrate her sister’s birthday

Maybe she gets up that day seeing the date and for a second being excited to celebrate her sisters birthday deciding to make her cookies or something before she wakes up and then remembering that she can’t do that

That ruby’s not here and even if she was Yang couldn’t make her anything because she’s not used to only having one arm which would make it almost impossible for her

Yang being disabled in a way that makes her unable to possibly ever do her job again after the disaster that caused it also shut down communications with the place that could give her a prosthetic she’s been abandoned by everyone she was friends with or they’ve died and she can’t even blame them cause she couldn’t even make sure her sister got her birthday celebrated properly

And ruby so deserves a nice celebration after everything

Maybe she hopes qrow will celebrate it in yangs absence

She probably doesn’t have a lot of hope for him though

I think Yang makes sure they celebrate it when they reunite maybe she gets the whole crew into it and they make a day of it

Maybe Blake tells ruby happy birthday when she comes back or gets her a little trinket and that’s one of the things that makes Yang trust her a little bit more

Bonus

I think Weiss celebrates it too she wishes ruby a happy birthday from her house shaped prison and imagines how that’d go down if everything hadn’t gone wrong with Yang making a huge deal out of everything and Blake helping her out laughing at yang being so over the top and spending the day together and so Weiss would be really excited about them deciding to celebrate it after being reunited even if its without the full family team

Also hc Yangs birthdays were often forgotten by everyone because Yang and ruby were a little young to constantly remember the date and tai was busy with his crippling depression and qrow was busy going on his long missions for ozpin so she’d probably celebrate it whenever qrow next came back if he remembered it or they’d just realize it had past and Yang would say she’s that old and when they got old enough to remember the dates and everything Yang still didn’t care much but ruby did and would try and make sure they celebrated it at least a little

#rwby #yang xiao long #ruby rose #blake belladonna #weiss schnee #qrow branwen #taiyang xiao long

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sevendeadlyheadcanons · 17 days

Note

All the sins with a s/o who can see and speak with ghosts and spirits. One day they bring up a spirit that’s been lingering around the sin, seemingly watching them and finds that it’s someone who was very important to them (each sin) how would they each react? (You can decide who the important person be, as I know some characters have canon important people in their lives and others we don’t know if they do) thank you!🤍

Hello! You asked for this 4 years ago idk if you’re even still into NNT but let’s do it anyway

Meliodas

-Imagine you just see Elizabeth 106 times and he’s like “What’s up man?”

-All jokes aside if this man has lost so much and you probably see so many different people around him. It’s very endearing to see the amount of people this man has touched the hearts of.

-He doesn’t ask you about your abilities, but one day after hearing about his past from every fallen friend he has ever had and you break and you tell him everything

-He would pretend to be deadpan about it and be like “Oh how nice” but inside he is DYING and mourning them all.

-I think the one that would officially break him would be if he knows Escanor is watching over him. He would break down.

Diane

-DOLORES‼️‼️‼️ she was so sweet

-You tell her about her abilities and she thinks it’s really cool. You wait a while to tell her dolores has been watching over her just incase she reacts negatively

-When you do tell her she begins to SOB

-Dolores is very proud of her for fighting in a way that she wants to fight instead of being what Matrona wants her to be.

-Dolores is also proud of Diane and Matrona for realising that there is more to life than fighting

-Diane is in tears and begins to shout out to Dolores that she will always be her best friend and that she misses her dearly

-You have to comfort your big crying gf

Ban

-Oh boy

-Imagine ghost Kilia still a baby still following Ban around like she did when she was alive simply because she doesn’t know any better

-Ghost Zhivago and Selion also watching over him and making sure he’s ok

-You tell him one day and he’s like “Cool, another freak you’ll fit in nicely here”

-If you’re his partner i’m gonna assume Elaine is still dead but she’s just happy that Ban managed to move on and find happiness.

-He has a whole club of deceased found family

-You one day tell him about his whole band of ghostly spectators and he simply grins.

-He’s too ‘manly’ to cry infront of you but he’s absolutely sobbing on the inside. He just shows a little grin

-“Guess I gotta lot of people to make proud now huh,” he sort of says to the sky.

-You hug him and he hugs back. Very emotional moment.

King

-“There’s been a green fairy following you around” “Yeah Helbram. I see him too he lives in my hat lmao”

-He doesn’t believe you when you first tell him about your abilities but you get a ghost to tell you the amount of coins he has in his pocket in order to gain his trust and he’s like “woah ok never mind”

-I guess a lot of fairies died while he was off with Diane so maybe they would tap in from time to time.

-They were originally vengeful but they’ve come to see how this impacted King and they realise it wasn’t his fault and are now mostly supportive

-You tell him about this one day while you’re both sitting under a tree

-He’s flabbergasted

-He keeps apologising and apologising again and again and you have to constantly reassure him they’re not mad and they’re rooting for him (you leave out that they were originally mad for his own mental health)

-You have to hug him to reassure him that this is in no way shape or form his fault

Gowther

-You don’t tell him, he finds out by reading your thoughts after he sees you staring into the sky at a different ghost one day and he’s like “neat”

-Imagine he hasn’t regained his memories yet and Nadja and Goatdad are following him. And you’re like “Do you know who these are?” and he’s like “No lol”

-Okok but after he regains his memories you tell him about his dad and dead girlfriend and he does choke up a little bit.

-They are both so so proud of him and you tell him that. He tells them (facing the opposite direction of them because he can’t see them) that he couldn’t have done it without them and thanks them.

-They both give him a lil kiss on the head and pat on the back and you have to narrate this for him because he obviously can’t feel it

-He is a mess. You have to give him a non spiritual hug and kiss.

Merlin

-When you tell her she has several questions including how often you see them, where they mostly linger, if you can enter the capital of the dead etc

-I can imagine that the entirety of Belialuin are watching her and they’re SO MAD like we all got DUNKED for THIS??

-Her father is also shaking his head disapprovingly at her.

-One day you ask her why there’s so many deceased people mad at her and she explains her background. That she was supposed to be a weapon for Belialuin. That they weren’t all supposed to die and things happened the way she didn’t intend it to.

-She is in great pain knowing that the ghosts from her past are disappointed in her but at the same time she knows things had to be the way they were in order for her to be the way she is. She has had over 3000 years to grieve and she simply has moved on.

-Merlin apologises to them, but tells them that this would never have happened if they treated her like the person she deserved to be treated as and was given the love she needed.

-This is very hard on her and you need to comfort her so badly, even if she’s too headstrong to confess that to you.

Escanor

-So he doesn’t particularly have any dead people in his past however Rosa was an adult when he was very young so we’re gonna pretend that she had passed away from old age (we don’t know much about her so it’s very possible)

-When you tell him about your abilities he thinks it’s very poetic. He feels very sorry for you and is always checking in to make sure you’re ok and that you didn’t see something horrific.

-When you tell him about Rosa he’s horrified. He didn’t know anything about her since he left his home country of Castellio so he wanted to assume she was alive and well.

-You have to comfort him in grieving her as well as tell him how proud she is of him. She checks in on him from time to time to make sure he’s alright and living the fulfilled life she dreamed of him living.

-He constantly thanks her while sobbing on the floor

-You have to drag him away and give him the best cuddle ever

Elizabeth

-Her adoptive mama will be watching over her so proud of the strong girl she became

-When they defeated the supreme deity she was by her side and making sure her daughter was ok

-When you tell her about your powers she is amazed and also upset by the heavy burden you carry

-You eventually tell her that her mum is watching over her proud of all that she accomplished and she begins to cry

-Her mama is the closest thing to a mum she’s ever had and she is just so happy to know that she’s by her side always

-You tell her that her mum loves her and wants her to make sure that her father is well and looked after

-She cries happy tears and does exactly as she says

-As always you give her a firm, supportive cuddle

I am so rusty I had to do so much research for this one because all but Gowther lore has escaped my brain.

While doing my research i found out in 4KOTA it reveals that Dolores is still alive but I simply couldn’t figure out who she would mourn so I stuck to it.

Have an amazing day friends 💙💙💙

#diane nnt #meliodas nnt #ban nnt #king nnt #harlequin nnt #gowther nnt #merlin nnt #escanor nnt #elizabeth nnt

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04tenno · 11 months

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You’re pretty spot on with the Mine view. The way in which he’s viewed by Japanese and western audiences is an intriguing and at times painful experience. The way dudebros see him is especially painful. His speech at the end of the game just went through one ear and out the other. You can’t convince these people otherwise on the fact he’s not straight. Like you’ve said before, they’ve always got some sort of “proof” such as a convenient Japanese friend who thinks the subs are lying or some other nonsense. Interesting how Mine is set up as a character who you need to understand loves another man, or you don’t understand him at all and everything falls apart. I think the worse read of their relationship is that some guys try to press that Mine views Daigo like a father…

Oda gets this to some degree, too. I’ve seen some be in denial, and again, try to claim it was a bro type thing. It really seems like a number of these guys project their own concerns and fears of being assumed gay with telling their male friends they love them. I’ve seen that come up quite a bit with Mine especially.

There’s a pretty large group of mostly dudebros and some girls who get really angry when people make more serious claims about Majima not being straight as well. Guys are 100% okay with making jokes, but then will jump to defend him with bizarre excuses like “He’s just being a troll”, “He’s just straight and depressed”, and other strangeness. I really don’t know when or how he got pulled into their sphere of traditional masculinity, but possibly due to his mass popularity, he ends up with these types of fans. The comedic angle they take with Majima’s character is also something they try to lean into for the aforementioned commentary.

Zhao’s direction throughout 7 doesn’t really have anything for dudebros to project onto. Admittedly after the amount of nonsense I’ve had to sit through without even looking for it, I feel a little relieved that Zhao has never been someone they can shape for themselves. But at the same time I just know they’ll probably start getting a different kind of weird about him at some point.

Thank you so much for writing in! As always, putting up with all that willful ignorance would be completely unbearable if not for the solidarity. That being said, The Never-ending Search for Evidence to the Contrary has reached truly laughable levels of desperation in the past. Please take this verbatim quote from when KHHSubs found my post:

[. . .] that native Japanese players of the game don't come out of the experience thinking Mine was romantically attracted to Daigo [. . .] I spent ages the other day trying to find some Japanese sources (reviews, random forum posts, yahoo questions, anything) [. . .]

Yahoo Answers?

Like, if you're forced to scrape the bottom of the barrel to find Japanese people who have even posed the question, let alone Japanese people who agree with you, maybe reconsider your stance. Perhaps you can't find what you're looking for because it should be as obvious as the color of Kiryu's shirt.

Moving on, when it comes to Mine and Daigo, there's both the Brother Contingent and the Father Contingent, and uhhh Both Are Deranged. The weaponization of the found family trope has been nothing but disheartening to see, as someone who loves the trope. It's supposed to be about deconstructing the conventional idea of family, not recreating the nuclear family in your head with characters who are neither related nor see each other as such and then throwing accusations around. There's enough weird shit in both the games and the fandom, I promise we don't need to invent more.

With regard to Oda, I had a great talk with @skajador that I'll paraphrase here (decently, I hope). In terms of the wiki, the articles are sort of symbiotic; it's always been the case that any evidence for Oda has been equally applicable to Mine and vice versa. So while both articles have been subject to back-and-forths, and both are often mentioned in the same breath, Mine's is significantly more controversial and draws more heated responses.

There are probably a number of factors at play here, one of which is, of course, the insecurities you mentioned. Another is that, while Oda's character doesn't tap into wish fulfillment the way Mine's does, he's still a "male role model" for both Kiryu and by extension the player for most of the game. He's still masculine, and he's still meant to be taken seriously, so like with Mine, there's an extant "attachment" to not perceiving him as gay.

It's worth addressing why there's been less "backlash" to Oda, too. For Mine, the fact he's gay plays a major part in his narrative "twist." With Oda's twist being the bombshell it is, him being gay sort of takes a back seat. It's a hell of a lot easier to dismiss if you barely register it, you're more willing to accept it as "minor," or you just don't engage with it because he's crossed the Moral Event Horizon already or whatever.

Additionally, the question of whether it's mutual isn't prodded at nearly as much for Tachibana and Oda as it is for Daigo and Mine. A lot of dudebros are specifically mad because they (mis)interpret Mine's relationship tag as being mutual. The idea of a "devoted subordinate's" unrequited love for his superior is tenable, but the alternative is not.

With Majima, Nishitani, and some others, it's definitely the case that it's all fun and games until it's not. When it's Too Real, when it's no longer For The Bit, when there's no more plausible deniability in the form of Homiesexuality™, that's scary. It really speaks to the fears a lot of these people have, like you said.

I should've talked more about Zhao in the original post, but that's exactly it. And, hey, if he's Repelled Them Successfully for this many years, I think that's a good sign for him.

#asks #moophinz #skajador #yakuza 0 #yakuza 3 #yakuza like a dragon #yoshitaka mine #jun oda #tianyou zhao #goro majima #KINS. SORRY TO TAG BUT. CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE ily

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stahlop · 2 months

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Once Upon a Time 4x05 "Breaking Glass" Review

I know, it’s been 84 years since my last review. I am hoping to get back on a schedule and get moving on season 4. This one introduces us to a friend Emma had for a hot second when she was about 15, and there’s no way this person could be of any importance in the future. Right?

Summary: Emma meets a fellow orphan as a kid and bonds with her. In Storybrooke, Emma keeps trying to repair her friendship with Regina, and Mary Margaret and David go out for the first time without baby Neal.

Opening: Ice Bridge

New Characters:

Lily: We meet Lily in a grocery store where Emma is attempting to shoplift some PopTarts. Lily helps her out when she’s caught by the store manager by paying for them with a supposedly pilfered credit card. Once they’ve made their purchases, Lily has them outrun someone in a car who is after her, which becomes a kind of bonding experience between her and Emma. They have a picnic and Emma explains how she ran away after seeing a little girl in her group home get adopted (which we saw in Snow Drifts), and how she felt invisible. Lily sympathizes with her and Emma assumes she’s in a group home too and the man chasing her was from Social Services. Lily agrees that’s what’s going on, but you can tell that she’s lying by her hesitation. Lily points out that the houses across from the lake are empty now that summer is over, and suggests hanging out in one of them. They break in and play video games and then Emma notices a star-shaped birthmark on Lily’s wrist. Lily says she likes to pretend it makes her special like Harry Potter and Emma says it makes her one of a kind. Lily decides that Emma needs to be special too by putting a marker version of her birthmark on Emma’s wrist. Then Emma discovers a video camera and she and Lily make a little video of themselves. Lily then makes Emma promise they will stay friends no matter what, obviously thinking about when the truth comes out.

Later on, a man comes into the house after the girls have fallen asleep. Emma tells Lily to run and tells the man they won’t go back into the system, but it turns out he’s Lily’s father. Lily is crying, knowing that her lies have caught up with her. Once police have been called and Lily is in her father’s car, she tries to give Emma her information and explain herself. She is an orphan, she was just adopted, and she doesn't feel like it’s her home. She wants to run away with Emma. She reminds Emma she promised to be her friend no matter what. Emma refuses to take her info and Lily screams in betrayal as Emma walks off to social services and rubs the marker star birthmark off her wrist.

Character Observations:

Emma:

Past Emma feels she has found a kindred spirit in Lily, only to be betrayed by her lies when she finds out Lily has a family and is not a runaway orphan like she is.

In Storybrooke, Emma and Elsa are looking through files to see if there’s anything about Anna in them. Elsa wants to confront the Snow Queen head on, but Emma says they have to be careful as it’s obvious she took their memories and they don’t know why. Elsa comes across photo’s Sidney had taken of Emma from when she first came to town, and they discover photos of Emma and the Snow Queen in the ice cream shop. Emma decides she needs to find Sidney to ask him about the pictures and goes to Regina’s vault to do so. Emma tells Elsa how she and Regina hated each other when she first came, then amends it to them not mixing (no Emma, you were right the first time, she was trying to kill you, that’s hate), and Elsa points out they’ve come a long way, but Emma feels they’re right back where they started (well, Regina’s not trying to kill you this time, so it’s an improvement). Elsa thinks they can mend their friendship, but Emma says that once you screw someone over there’s no coming back (I think Regina would disagree as Mary Margaret and David seem to have forgiven her for the whole trying to kill them, cursing the whole town, and making their daughter grow up without them). Emma asks Regina about the pictures, but she just makes catty remarks. When Emma asks her about Sidney, she says she’s too busy trying to save Marian to help her find him. Emma then offers to help Regina with extra magic juice, say she has Regina’s back, but Regina makes it very clear that she doesn’t think Emma has ever had her back (and again, why should she? But apparently Emma thinks she did at some point).

Emma finds Elsa missing from her car and goes searching for her. She ends up meeting up with Regina who is looking for the Snow Queen’s lair. Regina makes more catty remarks, and they go off together (much to Regina’s chagrin) to find the Snow Queen. Regina keeps making remarks about Emma’s lack of magic knowledge and Emma says she learned better when Regina helped her, but Regina says she’s too busy right now to help her with her magic. Emma tries to appease Regina by complimenting her on helping to reverse Marian’s spell, but Regina just takes it as another ploy to try and win her over again. She tells Emma she won’t assuage her guilt and accuses Emma of ruining her life (even if it wasn’t intentional) and tells her to live with it. Biggest eye roll ever at Regina. And I don’t understand why Emma just stands there and takes this tongue lashing from Regina. Emma ruined Regina’s life? Well if she did, maybe it’s payback for Regina ruining hers. Regina has no right to complain to Emma about ruined lives (rant over)They find the ice bridge Elsa made earlier, but the Snow Queen attempts to stop them with very heavy winds. Emma realizes Regina lied to her about not knowing where Sidney was, and then the bridge begins to break. Emma and Regina run for it and make it to the other side just in time.

They then come upon an Ice Viking. They each try to kill it with magic, but it only works when they use their magic together. Then the Snow Queen appears, steals Regina’s compact mirror, and then starts magic choking both Regina and Emma. Luckily, Elsa has escaped the chains the Snow Queen put her in and saves them. The Snow Queen poofs away. Regina and Emma argue about Sidney being held captive in Regina’s mirror. Elsa tries to be the referee, but eventually Regina says she doesn’t want to make up with Emma and poofs away. Elsa once again reminds Emma that if you care for someone, you try to make things work.

This whole Emma and Regina forced friendship is really grating on me. There has really not been anything up to this point about them being friends. Regina helped Emma learn magic, they’ve worked together to be good moms to Henry, but it’s not like they were hanging out and having girl talk. They were never friends. Reluctant co-parents at the least, but not friends. Emma tracks Regina down in her vault and tells her the story of Lily and how she regretted not forgiving Lily and how she and Regina are the only ones who understand each other (why?). She just wanted Regina to be her friend. Even Regina is shocked at this (as is everyone else watching). Back at the Sheriff’s Station, Killian comes in while Emma is looking at a box of childhood memories. They find the video camera from Lily’s summer house (Lily’s dad let her keep that?), so they sit down to watch it. It’s a very cute moment where Emma puts Killian’s arm around her. They are so couply here. We see the video of her and Lily, but then the tape shows her at a foster home that Emma doesn’t remember, and her foster mother happens to be the Snow Queen!!

Regina: Ugh! I don’t even know where to start with Regina. She’s a raging bitch in this episode. She chides Sidney for his attitude towards her (well deserved) and then tasks him with finding the Snow Queen. Emma confronts her about the photos that Sidney took and Regina is as delightful as ever with her. Emma asks Regina if she knows where Sidney is, and she sidesteps the question by reminding her that she’s working on saving Marian and blames Emma for it, again. Emma offers to help Regina, but Regina rebuffs her. Sidney appears in the mirror, telling Regina he found the Snow Queen, but he won’t tell her where until she releases him from the mirror. Regina basically tells him that if he doesn’t help her, she’ll put him back in the cell at the hospital, so he decides his best option is to guide her to the Snow Queen’s lair.

Regina runs into Emma in the woods and is a bitch to her the whole time when Emma is explaining that Elsa ran off. Regina reluctantly lets Emma tag along. Emma starts asking Regina questions pertaining to the magic she is doing to find the Snow Queen, but Regina again rebuffs her and answers her with catty comments. Then Emma tries to be nice, telling Regina how admirable it is what she’s doing for Marian, but Regina isn’t having it. She keeps cutting Emma down and going off on her, and I get that Regina is angry. She is entitled to her feelings, but she’s making the situation out to be like Emma purposefully brought back Marian to hurt Regina, and that’s not what happened at all. Not to mention that Regina doesn’t even feel that this might be karma for all the terrible things she’s done to everyone else. But no, to Regina it’s all about her. For all the ‘growth’ that she’s had, she’s still exactly the same, just without the killing of everyone when she doesn’t get her way.

Regina and Emma end up on Elsa’s ice bridge when a fierce wind comes at them. Regina finally figures out that Sidney double crossed her and is working with the Snow Queen. Emma is pissed that Regina lied to her about knowing where Sidney was. And Sidney finally calls out Regina for the bitch that she is. Then they come upon the Ice Viking that the Snow Queen sent for them, and Regina is not too happy that it takes both her and Emma’s magic to defeat it. But before they can bask in their defeat of it, the Snow Queen arrives and takes Regina’s compact mirror. She also starts to choke them both when they start to argue with her, but Elsa saves them. The Snow Queen poofs off and Emma lays into Regina about the whole Sidney thing. Regina tells her why she put Sidney back in the mirror (originally to somehow kill Marian in the past) and then tells Emma that she doesn’t want to forgive her and poofs off as well. Regina is feeling sorry for herself back in her vault when Emma comes back, again. Emma tells her the story of Lily and says that Regina’s the only one who can understand her, and Regina starts looking sad or guilty, I don’t know, but eventually Emma says she thought they were friends, and Regina is surprised by this revelation (so are the rest of us).

Elsa: She is a world class idiot in this episode. While waiting in Emma’s car, she starts hearing Anna call to her, and why that isn’t suspicious right off the bat to her is baffling to me. I get that she’s desperate to find Anna, but does she really think Anna is just going to appear, calling her name and for help? And then Anna just turns and walks off in the opposite direction and Elsa doesn’t think this is odd in the slightest? Then Elsa sees Anna across a ravine calling for help, and instead of wondering how she got across the ravine, she creates an ice bridge so she can cross it. Elsa finally finds ‘Anna’, but it turns out it’s just an icey illusion that the Snow Queen built to lure Elsa to her (well, who didn’t see that coming, Elsa, that’s who). The Snow Queen conjures chains to tie Elsa to the ground, letting her know the more frightened she is the tighter they will get. After the Snow Queen leaves, Elsa struggles to get out of the chains, and luckily, she’s actually smart and calms herself down enough that she’s able to break the chains by letting go of her fear. Elsa then become quite confident when she blasts down the Snow Queen, saving Regina and Emma from being magically choked. The Snow Queen congratulates her on conquering her fear and poofs off. Elsa tries playing referee between Regina and Emma, but Regina’s not having it. Elsa later reminds Emma that if someone is important to you, you don’t give up on them. Blech.

Mary Margaret and David: Mary Margaret is nervous about leaving baby Neal alone, even if Belle is his babysitter. David tells Mary Margaret they need this time away. It’s just for an evening stroll, but that’s progress for Mary Margaret who doesn’t want to let baby Neal out of her sight. They head over to the sheriff’s station to grab some walkie talkies so Belle can communicate with them (they’re apparently hiking to an area with no cell reception), when David notices Will Scarlet is no longer locked in his cell. He decides he and Mary Margaret should have an adventure tracking down Will, just like old times (but without the Evil Queen on their trail). Mary Margaret does not seem thrilled about this. An hour later, Mary Margaret wants to go home. David decides to continue looking for Will, and apparently he is blind, because Mary Margaret spots him immediately, digging on the beach, right in the direction they were heading. She and Will have a hilarious conversation about how the map he needs to find his traveling sack happens to be in the traveling sack that he buried because he buried it when he was drunk. Mary Margaret convinces herself that David let Will go so she could track him down and feel more like herself. Will tries to convince her that’s not the case until she reveals she is the Mayor and pardons him. When David comes home, Mary Margaret commends him on the whole Will Scarlet plot, and tells him she feels more like herself again. David is happy for her, but tells her he had nothing to do with it. They don’t seem that worried about the whole affair, considering he was in jail for breaking into a library and passing out.

The Snow Queen: We see her raising something from ice with glowing eyes. We next see her when she has lured Elsa to her with the Anna ice illusion (the thing with glowing eyes at the beginning). She chains Elsa up and tells her the more frightened she is, the tighter the chains will be. Why do the villains always give away the secret to getting free? If Elsa hadn't known that, she might not have escaped. She goes on about how much fear Elsa has, how she had the chance to get rid of that fear once, but she squandered it (reference to their past?). She tells Elsa she just needs her out of the way for now, and then tells her she won’t tell her she’ll be okay, because she needs her to be frightened for the time being. She leaves, telling Elsa she’s going to build a snowman. Regina and Emma defeat her ‘snowman’. The Snow Queen steals Regina’s compact mirror (what she was apparently after the whole time), and then Elsa comes and saves them by blasting the Snow Queen. Instead of being angry, she applauds Elsa for getting over her fears and then poofs away.

Back at her lair, the Snow Queen frees Sidney from the mirror. Apparently, their deal was that he would serve her if she freed him, but she doesn’t need him, she just wanted the mirror because it is imbued with dark magic. Sidney asks what she’s planning, and she tells him to get what’s always been denied to her. Sidney asks what that is, but she won’t tell him. He is free to go. She does give him the advice to get a warm coat as it’s going to be getting cooler in Storybrooke. She then cracks the compact mirror and places the piece into her own cracked mirror, which then becomes whole and uncracked. She then reveals to the mirror that what she wants is a family that loves her. I think there may be an easier way to go about that Snow Queen.

Questions:

Wouldn’t it have been easier for Emma to try and hide the PopTarts in her backpack rather than in her jacket?

Why is the store manager so surprised that two teenage girls are in a grocery store without adults? It’s 1998, they’re both around 14/15 years old. This shouldn’t be such a weird thing.

So, knowing the man in the car is Lily’s dad later on, are we assuming she stole her dad’s credit card and he figured she’d be at the grocery store? Or had he given her his credit card to buy groceries and when he went to pick her up she started running and he went after her?

How is Elsa running through Storybrooke Wilderness Park in that dress, cape and heels with nary a tear or broken heel in sight?

Was Emma planning on erasing the video or taking the video camera with her? Because otherwise, there is video evidence of who broke into the house.

Had Emma’s superpower of detecting lies not kicked in at this point? How old was she when it did?

Why doesn’t Lily’s dad turn on the lights when he enters the house looking for Lily? Why is he using a flashlight?

Observations:

Emma looks pretty good for being a runaway. Clean clothes, hair styled. Unless she’s only been on the run for a day or two, she should be much more dirty looking.

Emma meets Lily in 1998. Lily points out it is fall when talking about the lake houses being empty, which would make Emma 15 or close to it (depending on when in the fall it is).

Lily mentions her birthmark making her feel like Harry Potter. Only Sorcerer’s Stone and Chamber of Secrets had been released by the fall of 1998.

David mentions falling through a portal to Asgard. He played one of Thor’s friends in the first MCU Thor movie, which takes place in Asgard.

Considering Mary Margaret and David were supposed to be going hiking, Mary Margaret is not wearing hiking boots or any type of shoe conducive to hiking.

Mary Margaret’s pattern on her shirt looks very similar to the pattern on Emma’s shirt that she wore in New York Serenade.

Regina is still calling Emma, Swan, instead of Miss Swan.

It looks like they filmed the Snow Queen getting up off the ground in reverse. It’s very stilted and just looks weird.

Things we see in Emma’s memory box: Emma’s black glasses, mood ring, Polaroid of Emma and Neal, Emma’s baby blanket, the video camera.

Names:

Lilith: Means of the night. Lilith is also considered either a villain or a heroine in Jewish lore, depending on which myth you look at. She is the first woman before Eve, made from the ground instead of from Adam’s rib, and thrown out of Eden for not submitting to Adam (heroine). In some lore she becomes a demon and was blamed for making babies die (villain).

This is not one of the better episodes this season. Regina is too bitchy, Emma is too needy, Elsa is too stupid, and the Snow Queen’s grand plan is to give her the family she deserves (whatever that means). At least Sidney is now free of Regina (let’s hope he stays far away from her so that she doesn’t put him back in the mirror), and Mary Margaret is feeling less postpartum depression and more like her old self. And the discovery that the Snow Queen was once Emma’s foster mother was a huge surprise.

Reviews 1x01 1x02 1x03 1x04 1x05 1x06 1x07 1x08 1x09 1x10 1x11 1x12 1x13 1x14 1x15 1x16 1x17 1x18 1x19 1x20 1x21 1x22 2x01 2x02 2x03 2x04 2x05 2x06 2x07 2x08 2x09 2x10 2x11 2x12 2x13 2x14 2x15 2x16 2x17 2x18 2x19 2x20 2x21 2x22 3x01 3x02 3x03 3x04 3x05 3x06 3x07 3x08 3x09 3x10 3x11 3x12 3x13 3x14 3x15 3x16 3x17 3x18 3x19 3x20 3x21 3x22 4x01 4x02 4x03 4x04

Please leave comments and reblog! Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future reviews.

@searchingwardrobes @thisonesatellite @justbecauseyoubelievesomething @laschatzi @wistfulcynic @mariakov81 @lfh1226-linda

#once upon a time rewatch #once upon a time review #once upon a time #Once upon a time 4x05 #Once upon a time breaking glass

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deathsbestgirl · 1 year

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i find it interesting that people really dislike the field where i died because of the soul mate business — mulder is moving through his lives with several of the people in his life: his parents, samantha, and scully. (and i suspect maggie & melissa — scully’s family is part of it too. even skinner.) (he even sees csm…another person who continuously shapes his life, just not for the better.) melissa was no longer part of his life, only coming into this life for a brief time during a case. to me, that says their lives are moving apart. this is part of a transition. because scully became the most important, they became the way for each other. and their connection in other lives has spanned nearly every (positive) kind of relationship you can have with someone.

this is about multiple lifetimes, multiple soul mates. and how things change. i found this episode really beautiful, though painful for mulder & for scully to stand by watching him struggle. (it was interesting though because this was the only time i remember him making leaps & having nothing tangible to him to base them on, just the fact he somehow knew it. a very human experience that we can’t always explain with simple empathy or intuition when it’s so accurate.)

in my exploration of astrology & such, it’s been suggested that nearly every person in my life has been part of my past lives as friends/platonic relationships or romantic partners. and to me it just makes perfect sense. there’s been something ~different about them since i met them. it was like they brought a piece of me with them and i wanted to be around them as much as i could. my wife was the first person i ever really actively pursued because of that feeling — even before i met her in person. and the journey has been different with each person, and all so important.

if it’s normal for people to come & go, to experience changes in relationships in this life — it makes sense to me that roles would change from life to life too.

it isn’t one of my favorite episodes, but it does have one my favorite scenes of the series. his grief over what happened to melissa is palpable throughout the episode, but i don’t think it’s about missing his chance for a romantic life partner, but rather a soul mate, someone he thinks he should have been there for and he didn’t get to be. and experiencing the heartbreak of those other lives, seeing what he’s been through with melissa, his parents, samantha & scully makes him question if the pain in this life is worth it. to just keep experiencing tragedy. and so he asks scully —

dana, if, um, early in the four years we’ve been working together…an event occurred that suggested or somebody told you that…we’d been friends together in other lifetimes — always — would it have changed some of the ways we looked at one another?

even if i knew for certain, i wouldn’t change a day.

he’s been turned upside down in this case, especially after the past life regression, and scully is his rock. he’s already thought of scully as something other than a friend & work partner. he can feel how the regression is coloring his view of melissa and what it means, or maybe should mean. and scully is telling him she wouldn’t have chosen another path. she chooses him regardless of these other lifetimes, not because of or in spite of them. she just does. they’ve both chosen to move forward together, whatever it will look like — a choice they had already made long before this experience.

personally i’m a sucker for less traditional views of soul mates. you can have many soul mates. sometimes they’re romantic, sometimes they’re forever, sometimes it’s for a brief time, sometimes they’re terrible. but life is about living and that means a whole range of experiences, emotions and relationships. and you keep the ones continuously adding to your life, even through different lifetimes and sometimes, it changes. you’ve both gotten what you need and it’s time for new ones. sometimes, those other lifetimes or iterations of a relationship are precursors for what’s to come.

#txf txt #the field where i died #i don’t really want to tag this but i want to be able to find it

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crosstheveil · 10 months

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Psyche: Emotions (I)

Emotions are deeply connected to the stories that we tell ourselves. The narrative spun by threads of our internal state and its interactions with the world. Far from being erratic or uncontrollable, these emotional narratives are not discovered, but rather constructed based on our experiences.

Unresolved Stories

Often, the experience of emotion can seemingly influence us from a subconscious place and this can be difficult for those unwilling to face their reality. It’s usually due to buried ideations and ties which come along with the emotion itself. If our mind and body aren't communicating properly, we may not understand what's happening or be able to handle the experience. This can result in unresolved or “trapped” emotions that linger in the body.

If you don't deal with an emotional event, it can stick with you long after it happened, changing the way you understand and respond emotionally over time. If you were scared during a past event and never dealt with that fear, you might be scared or want to run away from things that remind you of it, even if they're not actually scary. If you were rejected in a past relationship and never addressed it, you might start to carry a sense that you're always unwanted, even when that’s not true.

In the context of our emotional narrative, having unresolved emotion is equivalent to the protagonist of a story rejecting their call to adventure. They choose instead to live blindly in spite of what they’ve seen, dismissing the urge to embark on a journey that could potentially transform everything they’ve ever known. As a result, they find themselves trapped in a life of monotony, every day is the same as the previous with the veil of comfort and predictability serving as their shield against change.

When this happens, we essentially are choosing to live untruthfully by denying and ignoring our experiences. We allow issues from the past to dictate our future actions and perceptions rather than dealing with them to ensure our current responses align with our present reality. We’re not living our own truth, but a distorted version of ourselves.

Consider what has been left unexpressed, undigested, or misunderstood, as a lingering shadow of the psyche, existing in a peculiar state of temporal suspension. Something neither dead or alive—a ghost—ritualized, haunting the corridors of the mind and trapped in a cycle of reiteration.

Emotional Conditioning

Societal and relational expectations significantly influence our emotional experiences, shaping our understanding of when and how to express certain emotions. In addition, the familial and cultural context in which we grow up plays a prominent role in defining the emotions we should experience or suppress in varied circumstances.

Our past experiences and memories, both pleasant and traumatic, condition our emotional response in specific situations, and trigger certain modes of thinking and feeling. We develop specific thought forms and emotionally vibrate at a particular frequency which is not mutually exclusive.

Physical health also plays a crucial role. Just as a well-tuned instrument produces harmonious sounds, regular exercise, sufficient sleep, and good nutrition are instrumental in constructing a healthy emotional life.

Alongside these factors, our self-concept has a considerable sway over our emotions. From a more spiritual perspective, the animating force which brought us into being might be said to have an underlying motivation or a causal relationship to the universe and this has the potential to influence the deeper yearning of our emotional narrative in spite of physical limitations or even on behalf of them.

In other words, our conditioning might be interpreted as a lesson that our ego is meant to learn from and overcome in the direction that our true self is guiding us. A process of awakening to the illusions that have surrounded us, turning challenging experiences into opportunities for healing and rediscovery. In this context, the true self is conceived as the pure, unadulterated essence of our being—open, curious, and inherently wise—while the ego is seen as a collection of adaptive strategies, tactics developed to deal with adversity and suffering which is a consequence of physical limitation—illness, aging, scarcity, loss, and ultimately, death.

Making Decisions

Our environment, thoughts, and feelings are the most immediate co-authors of our emotional story. The external world influences our emotions just as much as the choices we make within it. Thinking and feeling is influenced by a social reality and our self-concept. Our thoughts can rationalize our emotional narrative by telling us what is correct or incorrect, while our feelings can intensify or mitigate them by appraisal or condemnation.

When overly attuned to feelings, people might experience heightened intensity or overwhelming emotions, which can trigger anxiety and excessive rumination. Our thought patterns can aid us in effectively coping with our feelings or they can heighten our emotional distress. By identifying and challenging misplaced affiliations or maladaptive thinking, we can alter our emotional response to various situations.

The act of writing and creating art serves as a conduit for our thoughts and feelings, allowing us to externalize and examine them in a tangible form. This process of externalization is crucial in refining our thoughts, as it enables us to confront and scrutinize them, thereby reducing the likelihood of acting impulsively or erroneously. As we dissect our thoughts, challenge our biases, and confront our fears, we gain a clearer understanding of our emotional landscape, guiding us to make more intentional decisions.

Surface Changes

Individuals who have suffered from experiences such as sexual abuse may exhibit patterns of frequent sexual encounters. This can often be an attempt to regain a sense of control over their body and sexuality, which was compromised due to their traumatic experiences.

These encounters can provide a temporary respite from deep-seated insecurities and a need for validation, each new partner offering transient affirmation. On the surface, they might rationalize their behavior as personal preference, desire for diversity, or belief in sexual liberation. They may see their actions as a natural expression of their sexuality or as living life freely.

However, these explanations often overlook the underlying psychological issues. During these sexual encounters, they might not be fully emotionally present, instead using the behavior as a way to escape distressing memories and feelings related to their trauma. This paradox of trauma responses can result in relationships that are less about connection, intimacy, or pleasure, and more about re-experiencing traumatic events or dissociating from the feelings they induce.

As a result, these individuals might find themselves in a cycle of fleeting satisfaction, which does little to address their long-term feelings of worthlessness, their continual need for validation, and difficulties in forming meaningful relationships. This cycle, while providing temporary relief, doesn't effectively help them navigate the impact of their traumatic experiences.

Not being able to effectively process and understand our thinking and feeling patterns, including how they are influenced by the environment and how they impact our self-concept leads to stagnation and pseudo-changes.

In the film "American Beauty," Lester Burnham is dissatisfied with his life. He is working a job he hates, his relationship with his wife is strained, and he feels disconnected from his teenage daughter. After developing an infatuation with his daughter's friend, Angela, Lester decides to make changes in his life. He quits his corporate job, starts working at a fast-food restaurant (a job he used to have in his youth and reminisces about), and buys the car he's always dreamed of.

In his mind, these surface changes will lead to happiness, but he doesn't confront the underlying issue—his lack of communication with his family, the lack of love in his marriage, and his inability to express his feelings effectively. Rather than addressing these problems, Lester regresses to a state of adolescent-like rebellion. He's more focused on fulfilling shallow desires and fantasies which only reinforce the status quo and inhibit personal development.

Another example of this is found in the film “Revolutionary Road,” following a couple, Frank and April Wheeler, in the mid-20th century, who are struggling with their identities, dissatisfaction with suburban life, and the realization of unfulfilled dreams. April comes up with a plan to move the family to Paris. The plan is for her to work and support the family, while Frank takes the time to discover his true self and his passions, which they believe will lead to happiness and fulfillment. This radical plan excites them, they feel invigorated, seeing it as a chance to escape their monotony, and it temporarily alleviates their emotional distress.

However, neither Frank nor April address their inability to communicate effectively, the dissatisfaction with their personal accomplishments, and their struggle to reconcile with the mundane reality of life compared to their ambitious youthful dreams. They shifted the blame to their environment with no effort to change behavior by developing their character.

Consequently, when Frank is offered a promotion at his job, he decides to take it, using the excuse of being "responsible." April gets pregnant, and their plans for Paris are completely abandoned. They return to their old life, their old roles, and their old dissatisfaction.

Curated Narratives

As a child, we’re born with seemingly limitless potential to take on any path if provided with suitable conditions. When bitterness and resentment is fostered in our upbringing, this negativity can manifest in various forms, such as criminal behavior, substance abuse, or continued cycles of harm. These struggles persist with cognition into our future, even if we manage to escape a damaging environment. Without the courage to confront deeply ingrained norms and to mature beyond our conditioning toward a sense of self-worth that is unconditional, changes in circumstances are inconsequential.

No matter how much control we desire to possess, if we aren’t aware of our emotions, we may find ourselves passively adrift, guided by unseen forces. Just as the moon sways the tides of the ocean while the sun guides the same undercurrents in a less apparent way, our lives can be pulled in various directions from what clearly happens on the surface to the subtler forces that are not immediately apparent.

We need to learn the difference between what is felt to be lacking and what is truly motivating that sense of lack. Let’s say that a man perceives a lack of intimacy in his marriage, believing his wife isn't affectionate or attentive enough. This perceived deficiency leads him to consider seeking affection elsewhere. However, the real issue is not his wife's perceived lack of affection, but rather the man's struggle with vulnerability which could be rooted in childhood experiences where his emotional needs were discouraged or even punished. We might say this led to difficulties in expressing his desires as an adult.

Inability to communicate this disowned part of himself effectively is the root of misinterpretation and miscommunication in his relationship. Additionally, there might have been a culture valuing his achievement or his role as a man led him to equate success with love, fostering a sense of entitlement. Instead of seeking affection outside his marriage, he should better address the problem by making an effort to develop where he is operating dishonestly with himself.

Each challenge we confront serves as a mirror, not merely reflecting our conscious perception of inadequacies, but also revealing the unexplored depths of our unconscious mind. They expose defensive projections of blame or doubt, and the hidden fears that often direct our decisions.

For those who dealt with relentless criticism during their childhood, they may unknowingly internalize these harsh remarks, developing into an excessively self-critical adult. This incessant scrutiny forms a constant reel of self-deprecation, ultimately undermining their self-esteem and eclipsing their natural desires. The persistent dismissal of their personal needs depersonalizes their experiences, thereby dampening their natural inclination towards intimacy and closeness.

Acknowledging these childhood wounds and the accompanying trauma allows us to identify the gaps in our perception and learn to fill them with kindness and compassion. This is not about rejecting or erasing past experiences, but reconciling the multifaceted nature of these experiences, fostering a balanced perspective that isn't overwhelmed by the narrow subjective echo of our past.

Emotional Integration

Emotional regulation aims to consciously navigate our interactions with the world, bridging our internal emotional state and external circumstances. It involves the balanced management of our thinking and feeling, responding not purely from an objective viewpoint, but from a place of accountability for an emotional life that is anchored coherently in time and space. Only by actively engaging with the world as it emerges in the present moment can we ground our abstract emotional narratives into tangible experiences.

Emotions reflect our past experiences, our present actions, and our future expectations. By understanding and managing them, we empower ourselves to revise their script. Our emotions are stories, and we are the authors. We have the power to steer the narrative and evolve in a direction that serves us more fully.

Focusing solely on the aspects that have shaped our identity, we risk deteriorating beyond our current state. However, by recognizing the potential of an ideal and our capacity for change, we have the ability to develop into a version of ourselves that aligns more closely with our true nature. Every impression contributes to the full image of who we are and it’s only by uniting our darkness with the light that we free ourselves from the oppressive force of denial and ignorance.

#emotion #regulation #thoughts #feelings #emotions #psychology #psyche #memories #continuity #potential #suffering #change

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king-of-fae · 1 year

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Birthday Gifts - Azzy

Your footsteps are light as you tiptoe down the halls of the inn. Everyone had gone to their rooms for the night, and you had expected Azzy to come upstairs after he finished performing in the tavern. But hours passed, and you kept waiting until you got too worried to wait any longer. You had assumed that you may need to wake up the others if you couldn’t find him, but your search came to an end as soon as you reached the first floor where the now empty tavern is located.

Nothing but empty tables all around. It’s gotten so late that even the staff have cleaned up and gone home for the night. The only person remaining is Azzy. He has his long legs curled up against his chest with his chin resting on his knees as he sits at a table in the back corner. His back is facing you, but his ears perk up when you walk over so you know he is aware of your presence. On the table in front of him is a cupcake with blue frosting and next to it is a necklace with a pendant shaped like a bird.

“Are you okay?” you ask cautiously as you approach, “What’s this for?”

You pull up a chair and scoot next to him so your arms are touching. He leans over and rests his head against yours. You feel his tail curl around your waist as the two of you get comfortable. You don’t rush him for an answer. You know he likes to think things over before he talks, and you get the feeling that this is more than just a late-night dessert to him.

“It’s Arabella, my youngest sister’s, birthday today,” there’s a melancholy tone in his voice as he continues, “I always celebrate my sisters’ birthdays. Even though I left home, I still do it every year.”

“And the necklace?”

He places it in your hand so you can get a closer look. It’s a beautiful necklace with a delicate gold chain, and a pendant in the shape of a bird. Its feathers are painted the same soft blue as the frosting on the cupcake.

“I found it in town and wanted to send it to her. It’s her favorite color, and she always liked watching birds.”

“Why didn’t you?”

He hums, and you know he’s thinking again so you wait. You’ve gotten used to the waiting. There was a time when you felt nagging doubts in the back of your mind when you noticed how cautious he is about opening up about his personal life. Why does he feel the need to carefully curate every word he says, even after you assured him that you would love him no matter what past he may have left in the Capital? No matter the reason why he hates loud voices and hateful stares. You have a hard past, and it’s hard to talk about even now and it’s because of that hardship that you came to understand that words don’t come easy when explaining difficult times. So you’ll wait. You kiss him softly on his temple and the loving reassurance seems to have helped him find his words again.

“It’s been almost thirty years since I’ve seen my family. Arabella was only six when I left. What if she doesn’t like the color blue anymore? What if she stopped liking birds? She’s already an adult now, and I don’t even know if she remembers me.”

“I can’t answer those questions, Azzy. But I’d like to ask you this,” you take his hand before his mind spirals any further, “From the way you talk about how close you all were, what makes you think your sisters wouldn’t tell her all about you? I’ll bet they’ve told her stories all about you. Even the embarrassing ones.”

“Oh no! Please no, there’s no way they would have left those out,” he doesn’t seem as upset as his words imply. He’s actually smiling now, his worries and anxiety now drowned out by happy memories. Seeing his unabashed smile as he thinks fondly on his family makes you think back on your own good memories.

#summoners return #interactive fiction #sr: azzy

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stars-and-scars-recs · 2 years

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Length: 5-10K

Moonlit Mistake - melpomenite

Author: melpomenite Word Count: 5,933 (Oneshot) Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Era: Hogwarts Summary: One full moon, Remus gets a bit carried away, and Sirius ends up a little worse for the wear. He doesn't want to tell Remus about what happened, but he can only hide it for so long.

Of Memories, Bitter and Sweet - @msalexwp

Author: MsAlexWP Word Count: 9,473 (Oneshot) Rating: Mature Alternate Universe: Modern, Muggle, Amnesia Summary: Remus loses his memory, but there are some things that can't be destroyed.

(in my room) i want you here - @dykesiriusblack

Author: dykesiriusblack Word Count: 6468 (oneshot) Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Era: Hogwarts (Sixth Year) Summary: The Gryffindor common room, a party, and spin the bottle.

Flowers On His Jeans - 55_cents_in_nickels

Author: 55_cents_in_nickels Word Count: 6155 (oneshot) Rating: General Audiences Era: Hogwarts (Sixth or Seventh Year) Summary: After summer break, Remus comes back taller and in embroidered jeans. Sirius Black has resigned himself to gay pining. That is until he accidently comes out to Remus and then Remus comes out to him and Lily feels the need to give them a push.

Sanremo - Deya

Author: Deya Word Count: 6618 (oneshot) Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Alternate Universe: Muggle, Modern AU Summary: Sirius is in a seaside Italian town for family vacation and he happens to meet the pretty pool boy who works at their resort. They share several happy moments together in the town of Sanremo. These moments help Sirius reconcile his own sexuality in a light and happy way. This is prideful queer fluff, no angst!

nightlights - @sadgeminimoon

Author: sadgeminimoon Word Count: 9223 (oneshot) Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Alternate Universe: Muggle, Modern Setting, Raising Teddy Summary: Living with Sirius has been interesting for Remus, feeling a bit like he’d travelled back in time to his university days, when he was marginally more gangly and awkward, and Sirius and James were just as effervescent and unruly as they’ve continued to be in their adult lives. Only now, they’ve replaced a riotous James Potter with a riotous 4-year-old with a penchant for scribbling on white walls with hot pink markers.

Or, in which Sirius fits himself far too neatly into Remus' life, and he simply is unable to cope, and really it all comes down to Teddy Lupin and his dinosaur-shaped nightlight.

A guide to changing the wheel and seducing a celebrity - @sknyy

Author: deadwizardskinnie Word Count: 5002 (oneshot) Rating: General Audiences Alternate Universe: Muggle, Modern, Celebrity Summary: About how Remus became a Twitter trend, changed the wheel and nearly had a heart attack in the middle of the class. But maybe in a different order.

Conscience of Children - orphaned fic

Author: none Word Count: 5,983 (oneshot) Rating: General Audiences Alternate Universe: Muggle, Modern, Raising Teddy Summary: Remus Lupin comes into Sirius' pub every single Friday night, and Sirius lives for those nights. Except one week he is missing, and Sirius realises he has to do something about it. When Remus returns the following week, he takes Sirius home where he discovers a few things about Remus' past. In the morning he meets Remus' son, and from that moment on, Sirius realises he's exactly where he belongs.

Happy - @prettyremus

Author: pixelated (prettyremus) Word Count: 6348 (oneshot) Rating: Explicit Era: Hogwarts (seventh year) Summary: Remus is inexperienced but enthusiastic, Sirius is confident but sweet... and they have sex for the first time.

Forever is Definitley Punk Rock - orphaned fic

Author: none Word Count: 9,233 (1 Chapter + Epilogue) Rating: Mature Alternate Universe: Muggle, Modern, University Setting Summary: When Remus Lupin met Sirius Black for the first time, he very nearly killed him. Now, it wasn’t entirely his fault, something he would maintain for the rest of his life, and Sirius being as dramatic as he was would often remind the taller, tawny-haired man of his very harrowing near-death experience at the front bumper of his car.

The truth of it was, Sirius Black was perched on the kerb wearing a bowler hat, poufy shirt-sleeves, a vest, a monocle which actually worked and was the reason his vision was blurred in the one eye, skin-tight leather trousers, and he had a skateboard under his arm. Remus Lupin was behind the wheel of his car which was held together by prayer and twist-ties, and was cruising along at a reasonable speed considering London traffic, when the strange steampunk-themed man dropped the skateboard to the pavement and rolled into traffic.

Ed il dubbio è mio, se fossero morti oppure rinascite - ItsYlva

Author: ItsYlva Word Count: 5,016 (oneshot) - Part 4 of For Rémálom's Challenge Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Alternate Universe: First Date, Muggle, Modern, Summary: With Sirius' meeting with Reg and Remus' check-in with Lily out of the way, they finally meet each other for the first time.

One Fish [+Podfic] - @xinasvoice

Author: xinasvoice Word Count: 5,016 (oneshot) Rating: Mature Alternate Universe: Muggle, Modern Summary: Inspired by this tweet: "Just watched a man bringing home a goldfish on the train accidentally pop the bag- fish flops on the floor. 3 people swarm to save him (the fish not the man). Guy chugs the last of his coffee and throws the fish in his cup. Lady next to him empties in her bottle of water."

So this is that, only wolfstar.

Romeo and Juliet - cinnamontoastcrunch15

Author: cinnamontoastcrunch15 Word Count: 5,169 (oneshot) Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Alternate Universe: Muggle, Modern, Actors Summary: He really was a brilliant actor, and Remus admired that aspect of him so much. You couldn’t tell in the slightest that Mary had just caught him and Remus together, snogging in Sirius’ dressing room. It was so convincing, that Remus had to bite back a stab of jealousy, trying to remind himself how ridiculous that would sound if he’d said it out loud.

During a production of Romeo and Juliet, Remus and Sirius realise just how much they mean to each other

silent spaces - jaybaker

Author: jaybaker Word Count: 5,713 (oneshot) Rating: General Audiences Era: Hogwarts (Fifth Year) Summary: “Merlin’s beard, you are radiating Christmas spirit, Moony, it’s almost gross,” James said, laughing at him, and Remus shook his head, but he smiled. He probably did and he was fine with that. He was totally fine, especially with the way Sirius was looking at him. Fine, fine, fine. Not blushing or anything. Not feeling his heart beating differently than a few seconds before.

I moved up to take a place, near you - Raging_queer

Author: Raging_queer Word Count: 8,975 (oneshot) Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Alternate Universe: Muggle, Modern, Raising Teddy, Neighbours Summary: Five times Sirius meets the punk kid next door. And one time he meets his dad.

Nothing without you - @tracingpatternswrites

Author: TracingPatterns Word Count: 6,413 (oneshot) Rating: Mature Era: First War Summary: Sirius, he thinks again, the only word that seems to catch in his mind as he stares at the bed. It’s Sirius, there, body stretched out and eyes closed and black hair spilling over the pillow and blood. So much blood. He looks like he’s sleeping, only not, because Sirius doesn’t sleep like that, on his back, still and quiet.

Flat Out - @squidgilator

Author: Squidgilator Word Count: 6,168 (oneshot) Rating: General Audiences Alternate Universe: Post-Hogwarts (No War) Summary: James is moving in with Lily, Peter is moving in with Emmeline. This leaves Remus and Sirius to flat-hunt on their own.

I Am A Mess Around You - Miss_Bennet

Author: Miss_Bennet Word Count: 7,157 (oneshot) Rating: Explicit Alternate Universe: Muggle, Modern, Neighbours, Meet-Ugly Summary: Remus finds out that a hot, beautiful man just moved into his building. But for some reason, every time they meet a disaster strikes and Remus makes a complete fool of himself. Why can't he act like a sensible person around this handsome young man?

Terms and Conditions - @squidgilator

Author: Squidgilator Word Count: 6,852 (oneshot) Rating: General Audiences Era: Hogwarts (Seventh Year), Post-Hogwarts Summary: These terms and conditions create a contract between you and R.J.L. (the “Agreement”). Please read the Agreement carefully. To confirm your understanding and acceptance of the Agreement, check “Agree” and sign.

The light that blinds my eyes - @aryastark-valarmorghulis

Author: aryastark_valarmorghulis Word Count: 6,334 (2 Chapters) Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Era: Post-Hogwarts (No War) Summary: Sirius is in love. Remus is too, he just doesn't know it yet. In which Sirius is demi and pines a lot, Remus is oblivious, and they should move together as soon as possible.

Lock it down - @wolfstarting

Author: WrappedUp Word Count: 8,868 (oneshot) Rating: Not Rated (M) Alternate Universe: Modern, Muggle, Lockdown (COVID) Summary: He wants to ask Remus a million questions. He wants to ask him if he wants to, wants to ask whether they should, wants to ask what if? He wants, perhaps most of all, to ask him whether any of this is real for Remus, or whether it’s just the hazy magic of the lockdown talking.

Then Remus’s eyes flutter open. They are bright and clear: full of the same want that pulses through Sirius’s veins every time Remus gets all moony-eyed about Proust; every time he manages to drink them all under the table; every time he goes out without an umbrella, gets caught in the rain and comes back looking like a particularly striking Victorian waif.

bless the telephone - @drowsyanddazed

Author: drowsyanddazed Word Count: 5,794 (Oneshot) Rating: Teen and Up Alternate Universe: 70s, Muggle, Getting Together, Long Distance Summary: He can still hear the party in the other room, hazy and indistinct but in here it’s quiet; just the sound of Remus’ breath in his ear, static in the receiver, white noise fizzling at the base of Sirius’ spine.

He hears Remus swallow and then: “You still there?”

Sirius lolls his head to the side looking down at the tile floor. There’s a crack in the grout and Sirius digs the heel of his boot into it.

“Do you still have that freckle behind your ear?” he says in answer.

“What?” Remus titters, his voice choking out, startled and brittle. The corner of Sirius’ lip starts to curve up and he catches it, teeth between lip.

“The freckle,” he says, white knuckled grip on the telephone, “the one behind your ear. The one you scratch at when you get nervous.”

“Well I can’t very well see behind my ear, but it’s only been two months, Sirius. I reckon it’s still there.”

break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored - @gayremus

Author: longlivelupin Word Count: 5,649 (6 Chapters) Rating: General Audiences Alternate Universe: Modern, Muggle, Celebrity Summary: “Kiss me, instead of your girlfriend if you win the Oscar.” Remus whispered. The other man looked at him and smirked, “Fuck it, let’s do it.”

How It Was With You - @engie-ivy

Author: Engie_Ivy Word Count: 9,413 (3 Chapters) Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Alternate Universe: Modern, Muggle, Getting Back Together, Celebrity Summary: Tonight in Celebrity Insights: Marlene McKinnon sits down with Golden Boy Gilderoy Lockhart for an exclusive live interview! He will talk about his role in Mary McDonald’s highly anticipated film, and of course his relationship with his Oscar-winning co-star Remus Lupin! How did Gilderoy Lockhart come to be the man who finally made fan-favourite Remus Lupin get over Sirius Black? Find out by watching it live! Tonight, 20.00 pm.

The media is all over the drama between Famous Actor Remus Lupin, his new lover Famous Actor Gilderoy Lockhart, and his ex-lover Famous Musician Sirius Black! They just try to deal with the unwanted attention. Things turn out to not be what they seem.

Commentary: This one sounds like it's going to be angsty, and it is a little but only at the start, and then its a bunch of cute fluffy happiness, so don't worry!

Nosebleed - WrappedUp

Author: WrappedUp Word Count: 7,753 (Oneshot) Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Alternate Universe: Modern, Muggle Summary: “I can’t have a threesome, Lily. I do puzzles for fun. I drink Ovaltine. I have a mug that says ‘I heart spreadsheets’. And it wasn’t even a present; I went out and bought it for myself because I really do. I heart spreadsheets.”

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