#humanity is stored in sitting

[nocna-straz-jeja]

human culture is looking for even the smallest of edges to sit on (i'm in a crowded train, yes)

[dinkbear]

what is it about using a mobility aid that makes people forget you’re human? 🤔

[answrs]

so i love me a good sneasel!ingo fic, don't get me wrong

but also you cannot convince me The Overachieving Pokemons Georg Warden of the Lineaged Nobles of the Cliffs Ingo would not, at a minimum, have at least 1-3 razor claws on his person at any given time. possibly up to 8 or more if he's actively collecting them from distortions. he is well aware of how a sneasler evolves from a sneasel.

what im saying, is, emmet goes to sinnoh, and instead of Wacky Hijinks With Funny Tiny Sneasel Brother Time, is immediately grabbed, hoisted over the shoulder of, and summarily carried off by an 8ft tall extinct sneasel evolution wearing the uniform and shredded jacket of a guy that supposedly should have kicked it several centuries past.* because SOME Legendary That Shall Not Be Named Royally Fucked Up The Instructions On Sending A Human Through Time And Accidentally Made Him A Sneasel (it was Arceus. Arceus Done Fucked It Up. Dialga is legitimately baffled how It managed this sheer level of Fucked Up-edness doing Dialga's like literally One Job instead of just like. consulting it on the matter.)

-

bonus points if Lady Sneasler tagged along. and brings some eggs. which Ingo is pleased as punch over. except then he gets to be absolutely mortified because the people here think they're (biologically) his. I mean. he's absolutely 100% Dad Who Stepped Up™ energy when it comes to caring for the eggs and raising the hatchlings, but that certainly doesn't help in denying the allegations. Also that he can't speak Human but like. mostly the former

(their genetic father is the alpha lucario that inhabits the northern cliffs of the Highlands that border the Icelands. just as like. a side tangent. I forget where I first heard the idea from but Hell Yeah I'll Integrate That Into My Belief Sysytem)

*wait no actually Lady Sneasler would definitely be the one to forcibly abduct this shiny warden outcome she sees just wandering the street. if another noble wanted this one they should've claimed him sooner. Ingo's great with the kids, but there's only so much he can otherwise do in a sneasler body with no opposable thumbs anymore. and as if by divine intervention (much like the previous ingo that appeared for her) this off-brand Ingo just got plopped in her way, so of course she's gonna haul it off back to the new nest!

[fiona-fififi]

...

[wormthing]

can a ravager and a worm be friends ?

[fuwaprince]

What if I held a Don't Jump! "rooftops are for enjoying the view" suicide awareness month event where we threw a fucking rooftop party and it was like... a retreat for the stressed out bitches to just be happy and get the support of their peers. There'll be lights and art and snacks and music. We'll wave at people looking up at us from the ground and invite them with friendly smiles. We'll play. We'll dance. We'll sing together. It'll be a festival on the roof. And next time someone feels like jumping they'll remember the fun we had and the friends they made that day who they could always text or call instead. Can we make this happen?

[luderailing]

[lizbethborden]

Oh man. Thinking so much about one of the people I worked for at the hellhole. She would get wound up and go off at me in a completely vicious way. I am not really a person who yells or gets angry in those situations, my goal is always to deescalate, so I would yes her to death rather than respond meaningfully--and the one time I did try to push back on her on something she was pissed about, she overrode me repeatedly and started accusing me of "defending" the person she was mad at (I wasn't, I agreed with her criticism, I just was a decent human being with empathy for others' situations). What I really should have done was either yelled back or walked away, but I always defaulted to yes'ing her, especially because she would wait until we were in my small, enclosed office to do it and I would have no way of getting away from her. I found out that she HATED that I would always go "Okay" and "I understand," because I would just do it and do it until she stopped, and she said it "makes people feel criticized." If you don't want to feel criticized, don't behave that way...? Between her and the owners, I got yelled at more in like 10 months of working than I did in 3 years at Starbucks.

[binch-i-might-be]

and today's top story: everything is awful

[spydertrans]

what butterfly do i have to go back in time for to steer in the right direction in order for 7-11 to crank that 7 up two digits higher

[oglegoggle]

I honestly don’t get how many people get upset about the notion of putting down an animal that attacks people? Like dude? Yeah it’s 100% reasonable to eat the goddamn rooster that slashed up your kid’s face. It eliminates the problem and it’s delicious. Americans are so squeamish about death that they either refuse to acknowledge that the meat they get from the store comes from an animal that was once alive or they decide that no animals should ever be eaten ever under any circumstances and both are utterly dipshit opinions.

[sheerioswifties]

.

[ghostickle]

I think this place is genuinely the worst work environment of any place I’ve ever worked and assuming I pass the drug test tomorrow I start the new job on the 1st anyways and I think after today I’m just not going back never saying anything to them I’m so fucking done

[mosspapi]

Spending my last day in residence laying in the dark trying not to pass out or throw up. As upsetting as this is, it's also extremely fitting for the fuckin year I've been having. Jesus fuckin Christ

[homunculus-argument]

Consider: Aliens land on Earth, they are vaguely humanoid in shape and size, but there is no real way to communicate with them. They're social, curious and friendly, though, and try to get to know humans and interact with us the same way as cats do. By mirroring.

They follow humans around - not necessarily any specific ones, but just wandering wherever people go - and do human things with them. Or at least do their best to try. In gravely serious, intensely focused, but deeply confused silence, they join human activities with this air of "I don't understand what we're doing, or what this achieves, but we're doing it together now."

When there are people waiting at bus stops, one or two of the creatures will join the group, standing in wait. When the bus comes, they'll join the queue lining up inside, and once inside, turn their open palm into a light source and show it to the bus driver in the exact same way as the people showing their bus passes from their phones (the aliens' ability to shapeshift this way has raised theories that they may not be naturally as humanoid as they seem, they've just adopted the human shape to better interact with us), and then go find seats wherever, just like humans do.

They're not going anywhere in particular, nor are they capable of actually paying for their ride, but since there doesn't seem to be any force to stop them from this, people just have to accept their presence. If the bus is crowded, they'll stand just like people do - and sometimes when seated aliens see a human offer their seat to someone who is pregnant, disabled or elderly, they will unpromptedly get up and offer their own to the nearest standing human.

They go to churches, temples, grocery stores, libraries, wherever people go, and clearly try their best to do whatever people are doing. In temples and holy places, they will sometimes join hymns in their eerie, wordless howls, which follow no melody but stop when humans stop singing. They sit and stand where the people do, and copy the positions in which humans pray, and many places of worship don't just tolerate, but downright welcome them - no matter what these creatures are, do they not have the right to pray?

In the libraries they are silent, eerily wandering the hallways, picking up books at random and staring at the pages, turning the page this way or that every few minutes. They don't bother anyone much, once the librarians figured out how to make them put the books they pick up into the returns cart, instead of some random place in the shelves. Some of them seem to enjoy simply grabbing random books, and carrying the whole piles to the returns cart.

They don't understand why we do what we do. We don't understand why they do what they do. But we're now doing it together.

[frankieroyuri]

i remember the asswipe who had the audacity to say i complain too much when they were joking about SCHOOL SHOOTERS on the feed. be fuhking fr