#i just finished packing up the rest of our old office at work

[girlfox]

haha between how stressful and busy work is & how overwhelmed by school i am, i got a zero on an assignment because we were so overloaded with work and i missed one of the assignments due for the module yesterday. brb going to go cry and drag my butt back into indesign. consider me afk for a lil' while longer.

[losfacedevil]

Easter Traditions (A FM!Sam Short)

a/n~ I’ve missed my babies something fierce! Here’s a little glimpse into their Easter festivities!

“Have you ever made someone an Easter basket?” Sam asked, laying upside down on Danny’s bed with his head hanging off the edge.

Danny quirked a brow, finishing the scribbling of words on the page in front of him before turning his attention to Sam; a questioning look kissing his facial features. Danny thought for a moment, back to the year that his sister turned fourteen and their mother broke her heart by declaring she was officially too old for an Easter basket.

“Yeah, once or twice when my sister was younger and mom thought she was too old for a little bit of Easter joy. Why, what’s up?”

Sam rolled over and righted himself, pushing up off of the floor with his long arms and caught himself on the edge of the bed to push up into a seated position. A soft smile spread across his face as he thought of the conversation he had with Sophia earlier that day.

Sam’s eyes held a light of childlike wonder as he spoke about the conversation he had with Sophia, recounting just how her mom would make her an Easter basket every year, the contents of it changing with her age and how it always contained the same colored peeps - even though she didn’t like peeps and knew they were her moms favorite. Danny nodded along as he listened to Sam drone on about the things she’d put in the basket for her and how her mom would sift through bags of jelly belly’s for her favorite flavors.

“I’ve noticed she eyes that Peter Cottontail hollow bunny our moms used to get us when we were little. I wonder if that’s the same one her mom got her.” Danny nodded and thought for a second before pushing his office chair out from under his desk and rose to his feet. Crossing the room he snatched his keys off of the dresser and stuffed his feet into his tennis shoes before nodding towards the door.

“Well? Are you coming with me or am I in charge of making her basket?” Excitement filled Sam’s features as he scrambled off of the bed and followed Danny out of the room.

~*~*~

Sam perused the aisles of the local Walgreens, having high hopes to find everything he would need in one place. His eyes landed on a hairbrush she had been gushing over wanting to try and he plucked it off of the hook before turning to Danny.

“Do you think a brush is a weird thing to put in here?” Sam asked, holding up the basket he had chosen from the selection the store had to offer. Danny shook his head, plucking a pack of the hair ties he knew she used and they always stole from her off of the hook he was standing in front of.

“Not really, it’s something she’ll get use out of and let’s face it, you’ve all but stolen her paddle brush.” Danny chuckled, tossing the pack of hair ties into the basket.

“What about this?” Danny asked, holding up a pastel pink flower shaped claw clip. A soft smile spread across Sam’s lips as he took the clip out of Danny’s hand and slowly tucked it into the basket.

“That’s perfect! I may have sat on her last one and destroyed it last night. She never learns to not leave them lying around.” He chuckled.

Sam made quick work of collecting some of her favorite things and tossed them into the basket to make sure it would all fit snugly and securely. Turning his head he made eye contact with Danny before nodding towards the front of the store and making a beeline to the registers to pay for everything he had found.

Later that night, he snuck out of bed, leaving Sophia curled up around his pillow and made his way to the hall closet where he had stashed his purchases. He made quick work of piecing together her Easter basket with all of the goodies he had found and placed it on the kitchen table. Scooping the shopping bag up off of the counter he slowly made his way into the living room and perched himself on the couch, the next task at hand to sort her favorite jelly beans out from the rest.

“Sam… what are you doing?” The sound of Danny’s voice cause Sam to jump and scatter the jelly beans he had cupped in his hand across the living room floor. He shot a glare over his shoulder, huffing a tried and frustrated sigh through his nose before lifting the bag and emptying more into the palm of his hand.

“I’m taking out all the popcorn and bubblegum flavored jelly beans and putting them into one of your honey jars. It’s something her mom used to do and I know it’s special to her.” Sam grumbled, tossing a few jelly beans into the jar before dumping the rest of the handful into a separate jar. Danny nodded his head and slowly made his way into the living room, placing a small basket packed tightly with skin care products down on the table.

“I couldn’t help myself. So I snuck a few things she’s been eyeing during shopping trips over the last few weeks. She was none the wiser.” Sam smiled at Danny and reached up to clap a hand on his shoulder.

“You spoiled her too? She’s not even expecting one basket and she’s getting two? Her reaction is going to be priceless. Now get the hell outta here, stop distracting me.” Sam chuckled, shooing Danny off in the direction of the kitchen.

~*~*~

Sophia awoke the next morning pinned under the weight of Sam’s body. Turning her head to the side, she pressed soft kisses to the tip of his nose and the curve of his mustache hoping to wake him gently. He stirred slightly, throwing his leg over hers and nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck.

“Just five more minutes and we’ll go make pancakes.” He mumbled, wrapping his arm around her midsection and pulled her closer to him. She reveled in the feeling of his body against hers and let her eyes flutter shut as his breathing began to even out once more.

“It’s Easter, baby. Don’t you wanna get up and enjoy the day? We wouldn’t want to sleep half of it away - we have to cook dinner for your brothers!” She giggled, wiggling her way out of his grasp and pushed herself out of the bed.

“And besides - the Easter bunny left you boys a treat! Don’t you wanna see what he left you?” She giggled, pure excitement coursing through her body as she pulled the two small baskets out of her closet. Sam pushed himself into a seated position and stretched his arms high above his head, making sure to keep his eyes closed as she placed the basket on the bed in front of him.

“I think he did pretty good if I do say so myself.” She giggled, perching herself on the edge of the bed. Sam peeked an eye open and smiled at her all while reaching out and pulling the basket closer to him.

“Now what did this Bunny think I’d like, hmm?” Sam joked as he began to sift through the basket.

He couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face as he picked up a small container of guitar picks and placed them to the side. Amongst the items were his favorite body wash, a cologne he had been talking about wanting to try, a gift certificate to their favorite sushi restaurant and a new toothbrush.

“The Easter bunny really decided to replace the toothbrush you dropped in the toilet?!” He joked, placing it to the side in favor of the plastic eggs filled with loose candy he began to munch on.

“I think he decided you needed one with all the Skittles you’re about to eat.” She giggled, reaching over to steal an orange one out of the egg he was holding.

“Thank you baby, that was sweet.” He cooed. Sophia couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face but kept her eyes downcast - not wanting the disappointment she knew played in them to be seen.

“Dan the man can get his when he wakes up. I don’t know about you but I am not waking the beast this early on a Sunday morning.” She giggled, pushing herself to stand and scooped the other basket off of the bed as she made her way out of the bedroom.

Sam was hot on her heels and quickly pushed past her, placing both hands on the hallway walls. Sophia’s bottom lip pushed out in a pout and she crossed her arms over her chest. Sam smiled sleepily at her and leaned down to press a soft kiss to her lips, a distraction while Danny snuck past them and placed her baskets on the kitchen table.

“What was that for?” She giggled and pulled a deep breath in through her nose. Sam turned and looked over his shoulder briefly, exchanging a quick nod with Danny before wrapping his arms gently around Sophia and turned them both around.

“Daniel was indecent, I don’t think you want to see that, sorry.” He chuckled, leaning down to press a soft kiss to her forehead as he walked her backwards into the kitchen. She couldn’t help the boisterous laugh that slipped past her lips at the thought of Danny streaking across the kitchen.

“How are you going to be indecent in my kitchen, Danny boy?” She called, her voice muffled by the way she was wrapped up in Sam’s arms. The smell of chocolate chip pancakes invaded her senses as they entered the kitchen. Sam’s gaze found Danny’s and they exchanged a silent conversation all while Sophia remained tucked into Sam’s chest.

“The Easter bunny forgot where your room was, Danny. He left your stuff with us.” She giggled, tipping her head back just enough to breathe in the air around her and held the basket out in his direction.

“How dare he not know where to find me! Can you just put it on the table for now, please? I’ll check it out as soon as breakfast is done.” Danny called.

Sam unraveled himself from Sophia and took a step back, crossing his arms over his chest as she spun on her heel and her eyes landed on the kitchen table. She reached up and placed Danny’s basket next to the two that were already sitting there and cocked her head to the side.

“I think the Easter bunny only knew the vicinity you were in.” Sam said. Stepping forward he wrapped his arms around her midsection and nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck. Sophia took a couple of deep, steadying breaths and leaned back against Sam, reaching up to rest her hands on his arms.

“Baby I…guys you… you didn’t have to.” Her voice cracked as tears welled in her eyes. The memory of the conversation she had with Sam earlier that month coming to the forefront of her mind.

“But we wanted to.” Danny chuckled, swooping past her, he ruffled her messy hair as he placed a plate of pancakes in the middle of the table. Pulling a deep breath in through her nose, she huffed it out and turned her head in Danny’s direction, shooting him a look with furrowed brows.

“Don’t give me that look. This was all Sam’s idea.” Danny chuckled, turning his attention to the basket Sophia had presented for him.

She stepped forward and pulled the bigger of the two baskets in front of her, carefully pulling the card that was tucked safely in the front of it out. Sam reached forward and placed a hand over hers, guiding her to place the card on the table.

“That’ll still be there later.” He chuckled, waiting impatiently for her to sift through the goodies in the basket.

She couldn’t help the giggle that slipped past her lips as she pulled the small plush chick out and hugged it to her chest - one of the many Easter traditions her mother carried on right up until the end. A hair brush, hair ties, claw clips and her favorite cheap perfume all sat to one side of the basket. It was then that her eyes traveled to the other side and she spotted the jar of popcorn and bubblegum flavored jelly beans, clearly hand picked going by the big mason jar of other flavors sitting on the counter.

“You picked them out like she used to…” her voice was soft as memories flooded her mind of Easter’s past and just how excited her mom would be to watch her pick apart the baskets she so lovingly put together.

Sam placed soft kisses to her cheek and gave her a reassuring squeeze as she dug to the bottom of the basket. Plucking the last item up her arm froze and she could no longer fight the tears that sprung to her eyes. In her hand was a three pack of blue bunny peeps - her moms favorite ones.

“How did you?” Her voice cracked as tears began to slip down her cheeks. Sam pulled back and spun her in his grasp, wrapping his arms around her shoulders in a tight bear hug.

“I know you won’t eat them, but I know how much this meant to the both of you. I couldn’t put together a basket and not include a hug especially from her.” He mumbled, keeping his voice low so the moment remained between the two of them.

“She’d sneak them in every year, at the bottom of the basket knowing I’d make a face and give them to her. It was our thing.” She sniffled hard trying to compose herself before turning back to the task at hand. Sam placed a kiss to the crown of her head and smoothed his hand up and down her back, essentially calming her down.

“You told me all about it a few weeks ago, don’t you remember? When you told me that numb nuts told you Easter baskets were childish? I might have my stupid moments but I listen to every word you say. I love you.” Sam chuckled, pulling back to cup her cheeks in his hand and wiped away the tears streaming down her cheeks with his thumbs.

“Happy Easter.” Sam kept his voice light and leaned forward to capture her lips with his in a soft and sweet kiss. Sophia pulled a deep breath in through her nose and held it to the count of ten before releasing it and turning back to the table.

“Daniel - you too?! How did I ever get so lucky to find both of you?” She giggled, slowly sifting through the small basket Danny had stuffed full of the skin care she had been gushing about to him over the last few weeks.

“That’s what happens when you fall in love with a package deal, you get him and me no questions asked.” Danny chuckled, ruffling her hair once more as he made his way out of the kitchen.

Sam watched as Sophia picked up the mason jar full of jelly beans and twisted it in her hands, a soft smile playing across her face as she opened the jar and picked a few popcorn flavored ones out. Cupping they in her hand she quickly popped them into her mouth before turning and offering Sam the jar.

“You gotta eat four bubblegum ones now - it’s tradition.” Tears welled in her eyes as her voice cracked once more, many more memories flooding her mind. Sam did as he was told, picking four pink jelly beans out of the jar and popped them into his mouth.

“Thank you… you guys didn’t have to do all this.” She mumbled, screwing the lid back onto the jar and tucked it safely back into the basket. A soft smile spread across Sam’s cheeks as he took a step forward and wrapped her in his arms, holding her close to his chest.

“There was no obligation in what we did. We do these things because we want to… okay? I love you, Daniel loves you, Sabrina loves you. Everyone loves you. I know holidays aren’t the easiest, but I want to make them as easy and fun as possible.”

Sophia took another deep breath and steadied herself as she wrapped her arms around his waist, holding him tightly to her. She nuzzled her face into the soft fabric of his t-shirt and began to sway their bodies gently. Sam breathed a sigh of relief knowing that she was okay with the little thing he does for her, not wanting to overstep a boundary. He pressed soft kisses against the crown of her head as she relaxed in his grip.

“Happy Easter, baby.” She mumbled, causing a smile to tug at the corners of his lips and he hugged her a bit tighter, letting her know she was safe with him.

TAGLIST: @vanfleeter @readyforthegarden @ascendingtostardust @belovedsamuel @sammysprincess @sammykiszkamyass @gracev0609 @sunfl0wer-power @silks-up-my-sleeve @aintthatapity @twistedmelodies @gvfpal @runwayblues @the-wicked-gnome

[key201303]

Pairing: Jaehyeong x Reader Word count: 1525 words Warnings: None! Just a bunch of comfort Plot: You’ve been feeling really overwhelmed lately because of your bosses. They’ve been asking you to overwork for the past few weeks and even though Jaehyeong asked you to set the limits and tell them you couldn’t overwork anymore in order to stay more healthy, you couldn’t say no to your bosses. Today when you got back home, Jaehyeong was home waiting for you to join him in a delicious dinner. But as soon as you run to his arms and tears start streaming down your face uncontrollably, he cannot focus on the food anymore. A/N: I'm officially coming back! Lot's of thing have been happening that kept me away from writing but fortunately I can say I will be able to slowly go back to writing. Thank you to everyone that is still here and that will read and support my stories from now on, doesn't matter if you're old school or new to this blog ❤️ Also I've noticed there are not much content with The rose and specially with Jaehyeong so here I am, black roses you're all welcome to my blog let's share our love for these guys ❤️ Taglist -> since it's been so long, let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

It’s been a tough day. Not only because your coworker keeps giving you more and more of her work because your bosses have been asking you to stay at work for longer or even extra days. At this point, with this tight schedule you haven’t been able to see Jaehyeong. You even almost forgot how his voice sounded like in real life or how his eyes shined everytime you appeared in his sight. And that made you feel even worse about the whole situation. He has told you plenty of times to set your limits so they cannot exploit you just because you do your work and other’s. But you’re not the type of person to say “no”. It’s like that word doesn’t exist in your vocabulary. Now unfortunately you have to pay the consequences of overworking. “Y/N, I’ll leave some documents I couldn’t finish on your desk, I’m going home.” The voice of your coworker broke the peaceful sound the coffee machine made while preparing your fourth coffee of the day. All you did was check the wall clock that hungged above your heads and nodded, not even looking at her. Once your coffee was ready, you had to go back to work. As soon as you entered your office, your phone screen lit up with a familiar notification sound. “I’m home! Hope you come soon, I’ll make some good food, remember our promise?” The message said. Only then you remember the little promise you made the night before. Jaehyeong was going to finish practice earlier than usual and promised you he would make you your favorite food as long as you finished earlier than usual as well. You felt overwhelmed for a moment. You wanted more than anything else that quality time with the man that owned your heart. And you only had to say “no”.

After a few more minutes of conversation a familiar voice knocks you out of your thoughts once again. “Can you stay a few more hours? Jiwoo’s work need to be finished today.” Your boss said. To be honest, you were tired. Tired of always wanting to go home but not being able to do so because Jiwoo didn’t finish her work. “I have plans.” You said without even thinking what you just said. “But…” Your boss tried to answer but you cut him off. “No buts. It’s Jiwoo’s work, not mine.” You said packing your stuff without looking up. “If it has to be finished today, she should have stayed like I do everyday.” You added getting off your seat and walking towards the door that separated your office from the rest of the building. “I’ll see you on Monday.” You said before leaving the place as your boss and other coworkers looked at you with a surprised gaze. Finally you could feel a huge weight getting off your shoulders.

The walk back home was cold. Hands and nose were freezing tho your ears were warm thanks to the headphones Jaehyeong gifted you a few weeks ago. And not only your ears were getting warm. Your heart was also finally starting to feel warm as you listened to “She’s in the rain”. It never fails to make you feel better whenever you listen to it. (Take some time to enjoy the song before you continue reading)

You finally got home and the strong smell of fresh homemade food filled your body with the feeling of home. And even more feelings appeared as soon as Jaehyeong’s smiling figure appeared leaning on the kitchen door frame. His smile was as bright as light, as sweet as chocolate, as beautiful as a rose and as warm as the sunshine. You couldn’t stop admiring his figure as you walked towards him, hoping to land between his arms and rest your head in the warmth of his chest, near his heart where you belong. His smile grew even wider when his arms wrapped around your small figure. Unfortunately that smile didn’t last long. You could feel the tears falling down your cheeks, getting dried by Jaehyeong’s soft pull over. You tried to stop the tears but you couldn’t. Finally all the stress you’ve been trying to hide was flowing out your body through those tears. “You don’t have to hide your emotions anymore, not in front of me.” Jaehyeong said, tightening his hold, making you hide your face back in the warmth of his heart. “Let it all out… You’ve held it for long enough and I’m here to listen to you.” He added with a low voice, stroking your hair trying to calm you down.

“I have an idea.” He said, a smile appearing back in his lips when you started to feel a bit better. “Let’s go.” He added, grabbing your hand and his guitar. You looked at him confused. “But the dinner…” You tried to say, pointing at the dining room table, full of food. “Food can wait, your health can’t”. He said taking you to the rooftop of your little apartment.

The sky looked beautiful when not much city lights ruined the light stars and the moon had. “How can you know me so well?” You asked Jaehyeong, a small smile threatening to appear in your lips as you still tried to dry some tears that were left running down your cheeks. “Because before dating you, I had to deal with your annoying ass as a best friend.” Jaehyeong joked as he removed the last tear from your cheek with a soft touch, gaining the laugh that was threatening to come out from your mouth. 

“Come on, I’ll let you choose the song for today.” He said once you both got warm and comfy in the small tent you had built for when you needed a stargazing session like the one you were about to start. You immediately suggested ‘she’s in the rain’ and as soon as you started to pronounce the title of the song Jaehyeong cut you off. “You always choose the same one! Can’t you just change for once?” He said playfully laughing. “If you don’t want me to choose then don’t ask me to do so!” You said laughing as well. After some discussion on which song he should play, finally you both agreed on him playing “See-saw”.

His voice was soft, low, not really putting much effort but still taking you to heaven, words flowing through his mouth so effortlessly which made you feel even more cozy. The moonlight hit the perfect spots to make his face features stand out. The silverish light hit perfectly his blond locks, creating an elegant silver hair illusion. You couldn’t focus on the sky. The galaxy his dark eyes held was more than enough that you couldn’t have more attention for something else apart from him. Only then you notice it was not the homemade food the one giving you the feeling of home. Actually it was the thought of him being there for you the one that made you feel home, because everywhere and anywhere would feel home as long as you were together. (Take some time to enjoy the song before you continue reading)

Once he finished singing, his slender fingers kept playing the guitar a bit more as you laid your head on his shoulder. The lack of light, his scent, the soft music his guitar was making mixed with the soft vibrations you felt because of him quietly humming to random melodies was lulling you into a deep sleep. A huge smile appeared on his lips when he noticed your almost asleep figure. “You look so beautiful like this. I’m so lucky you decided to say yes when I asked you out in such a shabby way.” He whispered, pretending to think you were fast asleep and couldn’t hear him. You couldn’t help smiling at his confession which made him act all surprised and disappointed because you heard what he said which made you laugh even more. “This is the girl I missed.” He said. His eyes held so much admiration and love whenever he looked at you. It’s always been that way. You guess Dojoon was right every time he said Jaehyeong would always look at you in a very different way. And it was true. You were the only person living on this earth and probably this galaxy that could see that look in his eyes. Full of love and so fond of you. “Promise you won’t overwork anymore.” He said once you both finished your little stargazing date. “We promised to have a happy life together, you can’t get sick already.” He added as you both entered the kitchen, a small tint of sadness in his expression. Seeing him like this broke your heart. “I promise, from now on no more extra hours.” You said with a small smile, offering him your pinky to seal the deal. But he preferred leaning a bit to close the distance between both of you and place a soft yet full of the love he had for you kiss on your cherry lips. “Let’s go, we have to hit up the food if we want to have dinner.” He said with a playful smirk, leaving you wanting more, just like he always loves to do.

[gainingfiction]

Lifetime Supply: Epilogue

(read chapter 10 by gainerstories here)

Two Years Later

Ryan was just finishing the last of a defrosted cheesecake when Luke walked in the door. He looked very sharp—and very buff—in his office attire. Sometimes, Ryan wondered if it was all a sugar-induced dream, imagining he would wake up from a food coma and find himself still living with Ahmed. But that never happened. Ryan got to spend every day with his beautiful boyfriend, who loved finding new ways to keep him happy and fed. Very happy, and very, very well fed.

“Hey, big boy,” Luke said, bumping the door closed with his hip. His arms were full of bulging grocery bags, which he set down on the counter. “Big day?”

“Hardly,” Ryan answered. He’d done a little bit of freelance coding, and spent the rest of the day trying to resist the urge to finish one of his weekly Adesco boxes. Normally he wouldn’t even try, but with Ahmed and Cory’s wedding coming up, he was conscious of the need to fit into his (still very new) suit. “Same old, same old. How about you?”

“Well, I had a very interesting meeting at work today,” Luke said, sitting down at the table beside Ryan.

“Oh yeah?” Ryan asked. “What about?”

“About you, actually,” Luke said, with a smirk. “It was quite a meeting. We had people from marketing, legal, someone from accounting… apparently feeding you is costing the company a fortune.”

Ryan smirked. It was incredibly erotic to imagine a room of executives filled with exasperation about how much he ate. He wasn’t just fat—he was fat enough to make a multinational food corporation take notice. Luke reached out and started massaging his gut, setting in motion a wave of jiggling flesh.

“And… well, as an Adesco employee, I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but as your horny boyfriend, I can’t resist. There’s really nothing they can do about it. They have to give you as much as you want,” Luke said with a grin. “Apparently the contest’s terms and conditions were a complete shitshow. Basically all it said was ‘lifetime supply’. Nothing about a weekly maximum, or an end date. Kelly from legal was beside herself. She said if Adesco ever tried to turn off the tap, you could sue the hell out of us.”

Ryan laughed, pleasure radiating through him as Luke’s fingers sank into his blubber. “I didn’t realize I was such a concern.”

“Oh, a big one. Let’s just say they’re never going to do another lifetime supply snack giveaway again. I guess appetites have grown since 1977. I did point out that you’ve been pretty helpful with product development,” Ryan said.

“What did they say to that?”

“They didn’t disagree. They wanted me to call you more often to get feedback on new products. And to keep you happy,” Luke said, his grin widening.

“Wow, I’m starting to think our whole relationship is some elaborate customer service scheme,” Ryan joked. He unwrapped a snack cake from the box on the floor and dug in.

“Well, am I keeping you… satisfied?” Luke said, still working his magic on Ryan’s expansive gut. He waggled his eyebrows, making Ryan chuckle.

“Very,” Ryan said. “And it’s nice to have a mole on the inside… my own corporate spy.”

Luke leaned over and kissed Ryan, who inhaled with pleasure as Luke’s fingers roamed his paunchy middle. He was so monstrously fat now—fatter than he ever could have imagined. He knew he wasn’t exactly helping things with the endless stream of fat-filled snacks he inhaled on a regular basis, but he didn’t expect to continue packing on the pounds at lightning speed. Not that Luke seemed to mind.

They made out a little more, and Ryan was getting ready to move things into the bedroom when his stomach let out a loud, angry gurgle. “Indigestion?” Luke asked, his eyebrow cocked.

“Starvation,” Ryan said, dramatically. “I’ve been depriving myself all day to fit into my suit,” Ryan explained, as he licked the remaining chocolate off his fingers. A lot of it had found its way onto poor Luke’s dress shirt, but that was a problem for the dry cleaners—hardly a concern in Ryan’s horny state.

“Well, we can’t have you wasting away,” Luke said. He sounded serious. He slipped off the chair, leaving Ryan’s shirt bunched up above his deep, gaping navel. Naked fat cascaded out in front of him, pooling across his lap. “How about I make you some dinner?”

Ryan couldn’t say yes fast enough.

The next day, Luke and Ryan dressed for the wedding. Luke looked godlike in his form-fitting three-piece suit, his pants flattering his muscular thighs and ample bubble butt, with his broad shoulders and wide lats framed by his jacket. If they didn’t have somewhere to be, Ryan would have ripped the damn thing off of him then and there. He still didn’t understand how Luke managed to stay so jacked in a house packed to bursting with processed snacks.

Ryan’s own suit was another matter. It flattered his build in a… different way. He’d only gotten it back from the shop a week before, but already the fabric spread tight across his vast backside, framing each buttock, and the jacket was a little snug around the waist. It was a testament to the stunning pace of his continued expansion. He looked at himself in the mirror. The man looking back was fucking big. Not just big, but massive. Monumental. He slipped a hand under his gut, feeling the soft cotton of his button-down cradling his overwhelming belly. He gave it a little shake, appreciating the sheer scale of himself, the manliness he felt when he looked at the behemoth in the mirror. That was all him.

Luke appeared beside him, and draped an arm across Ryan’s wide, sloping shoulders. He was smiling. “You clean up nice,” he said. “Although I don’t know how much more use you’re gonna get out of that suit.”

Ryan smirked. “Well, it’ll be fun while it lasts. I’m just glad I can still get it on for the big day.”

When it came to clothing men of size, Gerry was a miracle worker—and so was Antoine, it turned out. Ryan was shocked to see his former fuckbuddy waddling around the big and tall store, looking about a hundred pounds heavier than the last time Ryan had seen him. All of his feeding had finally caught up with him, it seemed. If it wasn’t for the name tag, Ryan might not have recognized him. They were quick to put any awkwardness or unpleasantness behind them: Antoine’s added girth had added to his perspective, and he still had a keen eye for style. The result was a very sharp suit that still managed to show off every pound of Ryan’s expansive body. He couldn’t have been happier with it.

When they were all suited up, Ryan lumbered his way to the car and loaded his bulk into the passenger seat. Bucket seats were getting more than a little uncomfortable, but Luke’s SUV was still decently spacious, and the seatbelt extender was a help. He cranked the AC—a summer wedding sounded nice in theory, but considering how much he was already sweating, Ryan had a feeling he’d prefer to tie the knot during one of the cooler months of the year.

The venue was lovely, and decorated to perfection. Still conscious of his furniture mishap a few years back—and the strain he was putting on his couch—Ryan made a point of pushing two chairs together before sitting down. That earned him a few looks from the more trim guests, but Ryan didn’t care; those looks would be nothing compared to the looks he’d get if his fat ass totalled another chair and sent him sprawling in the middle of the ceremony.

Ryan was glad Luke had pulled over for some fast food on the way over; he wasn’t used to going more than an hour without eating, and as erotic as the prospect sounded in theory, he knew he’d be mortified if his stomach started growling before the ‘I do’s.

When the ceremony started, Ryan got the chance to check out his best friend. Ahmed was downright huge. He’d packed on a ton of muscle, but he’d clearly put on even more fat, judging by the way he filled out his suit. It seemed that his bulk was still ongoing, and Ryan couldn’t see that ending any time soon. He was an impressive specimen, though, with vast, meaty legs and a pair of beefy boy-breasts that poked at the front of his dress shirt, perky from the muscle that lurked beneath layers of juicy fat. He wasn’t close to Ryan’s size, but there was no denying that he had a seriously fat belly on him.

And in a surprising twist, Cory had stacked on a noticeable amount of weight himself. He was still a fraction of the size of Ryan, and far smaller than his soon-to-be-husband, but the former twink was looking undeniably chubby. He had a plump little belly and a round, prominent booty that jiggled slightly with every step. Ahmed must love that, Ryan thought, smiling to himself.

“What are you grinning about?” Luke whispered to him.

“Nothing,” Ryan said. “They just look happy together. I didn’t think Ahmed was the marrying kind, but they both look… domesticated.” It was true—Ahmed and Cory were looking at each other with pure adoration.

“That’s one way of putting it,” Luke said. He gave a wry smile. “I can only imagine how they’re gonna look after a few years of marriage.”

“Everyone loves a chubby hubby,” Ryan said. He thought of Jason, who—if his Instagram could be trusted—still seemed trapped in an endless revolving door of yoga boys and CrossFitters. “Well, anyone with taste.”

“I’ll have to keep that in mind,” Luke said. He took Ryan’s hand. He rested his other hand on his slender torso. “Being around all those Adesco snacks… well, it’s getting hard to keep up my diet.”

Ryan interlocked his chubby fingers with Luke’s slim ones. “Well, I’m sure Antoine and Gerry would be happy to have a new customer.”

“And you? Would you… like a chubby hubby of your own?” Luke’s eyes were wide, hopeful.

Ryan beamed at him. “Yeah,” he said. “I think I would.”

[shallyne]

The diary of Feyre Archeron Ch 11

Epilogue

EPILOGUE!!! YAY? YAY! Full fic on AO3

Words: 805

The door was jammed again. Another thing I had to put on my ever growing list of things to do, or tell Rhys to do. I wriggled the key in the lock and pressed against the stubborn door until it finally opened, and all that without spilling a drop of my decaffeinated coffee.

It has been a quiet morning, I just came from brunch with Mor which went from our originally planned hour to two hours, talking the whole time after I told her the news. I just hoped Rhys wouldn't mind, we wanted to tell her together but the time just felt so right, I had blurted it out.

“Rhys?” I called out as I walked down the hallway of our apartment, past the portrait of us I made after our wedding. It was eerily silent. Maybe he was out with Cassian and Azriel but he told me this morning that he planned to stay home to pack up a few things in his office. I stepped over a box when I saw that the door of our storage room was ajar. On silent feet I stepped closer and opened the door, finding my husband sitting between mountains of boxes, reading a book, his back to the door. I snuck closer, looking over his shoulder to see a familiar handwriting. “You're reading my old diaries?”

He snapped the book shut before I even finished my sentence, looking up at me with a smile as he put the notebook down on two others that I had written inside years ago. “The best sex you've ever had, huh?”

I rolled my eyes and put down my coffee on the nearest box. “I should have burned these things long ago. There's incriminating evidence inside that could get me into jail.”

“Us both, but it won't.” he said and when he met my eyes, something in his own softened. Rhys took my hand and pulled me into his lap. “I'm sorry I've read through them. I needed a box and I've been rummaging through everything and found your diaries. I should have put them back.”

I smiled, “It's okay, this is the past.” I gestured to the diaries. “This has been years ago. Although, if you are really sorry, I know a few ways that you could make it up.”

Rhys's lips twisted into a smirk at my suggestion and I stretched up to kiss the corner of his lips. “This might be slightly off-topic but I've been thinking.”

“Oh?” Rhys asked, brushing a thumb over my chin.

“Yes,” I replied and took his hand, “I've been thinking that now is maybe a good time to start a diary again.” our hands rested atop my stomach where there was only yet a tiny bump showing. It was easily covered with baggy clothing at this point, which I did until the whole family was told the big news of my pregnancy. “Maybe he, or she, can read it when they are older.” I always said he for some reason, I am so sure it would be a boy.

“That's a great idea.” Rhys kissed forehead, “Maybe I should add some things from my perspective. If you'd like that.”

“I'd love that!” I said, flinging my arms around him with a sigh. “I'm so excited to start this chapter of our life. I'm so excited for the little one.”

Rhys answered with a breathtaking smile of his own, his eyes shining brightly as he looked at me. There wasn't a day in our life that he didn't make sure that I felt safe and loved. I hope I make him feel the same way, at least I am trying everyday.

The vibrating of my phone interrupted our moment. With an apologizing look I leaned back, “This must be Ressina. We are meeting at the gallery at one to work out the work schedule for next month.” I explained. “I was hoping I could pack up some things for the move but brunch with Mor took longer than planned.” I grimaced as I remembered, “By the way, I might have already told her.”

Rhys snorted, “I'm not surprised.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“That means,” he flicked my nose, “You have a loose mouth around my cousin.”

“Well, she's my best friend.” I told him and pushed him away playfully, standing up. “Also, can we get Sevanda’s tonight?”

“Sure! “ Rhys replied without taking a moment to think about it. “And Feyre?”

“Yes?”

“Don't stress yourself while at the gallery, I'll take care of packing. You don't lift a finger.”

“But–”

“No buts, I manage the moving and you take care growing the little one. Alright?”

“Alright.” I laughed, grabbing my coffee.

Rhys stood up too, “I love you, Feyre darling.”

I kissed him, “I love you, too, you mother hen.”

Feysand Taglist:

@captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship @starfall-spirit @rhysiedarling @corcracrow @sydney-fae25 @tothestarsandwhateverend @aayo-whatt @dreamlandreader

[blackbirdsaltzman]

autistic!jj being embarrassed of her accommodations/refusing to use them and someone on the team talking some sense into her and telling that they’re just there to help her and no one will judge her for them (maybe especially an ACC device if she goes nonverbal during a case cause i think she would feel dumb having to use one :( )

Hey bestie!! I actually have this already written!! It’s posted on my AO3 which is PennsylvaniaPetite but here it is!!

Touch & Voice - Jennifer Jareau x Emily Prentiss

(Autistic Meltdown, Ableism)

“Jen?” I hear behind me as a hand comes down on my shoulder making me flinch.

“Ow,” I mumble before turning around.

“Touching is too much today,” I mumble feeling bad. I try to lower my head but her eyes follow me.

“Okay. I’m sorry I hurt you and I’ll hold off until you feel better. Do you want to tell me about it?” She whispers.

“I can feel his hands on me,” I whisper ashamed. It’s been three years.

“Hey I know you are feeling ashamed but you shouldn’t. It’s pretty normal and healthy. As Dr. Whitman said, We take it one day at a time.” Emily smiles.

“I know, I just hate it. Like I hate that your touch unintentionally hurts me! It’s so stupid!” I yell as the tears start to fall.

“I know sweetie but it’s just how it is and you’re so strong and going to overcome it and even if you can’t, it’s fine because you are still the strongest person I know,” Emily whispers as I slowly nod.

“Let’s head back to bed baby.”

“Can you get the pillow?” I whimper.

“Of course baby.” I close my eyes until I feel the pillow being put down next to me.

“Thank you,” I mumble curling up to it.

“I’m going to head downstairs.”

“Em, why?”

“Baby it’s just so you have space and I don’t accidentally bump into you.” She softly states.

“Em, please don’t leave me.” I whimper.

“Okay Jen, I won’t leave but I’m going to sleep on the couch,” Emily whispers sitting down on the couch by our bed. I nod closing my eyes hoping I can try to get some sleep. I wake up smelling food from downstairs. I slowly peel the weighted pillow off myself before wandering downstairs. I slowly make my way into the kitchen trying to say hi to Em but I can’t get my voice to work. I sigh alerting Emily I’m present.

“Are you nonverbal?” She asks softly. I nod my head sadly.

“It’s okay love. Why don’t you go curl up on the couch and find us a movie while I finish breakfast? We have today off unless a case comes in.” Emily states as I nod. I make it to the living room pulling a blanket over myself before finding an old foreign film.

“Here you go, Jen. Let me know if you need help.” Emily states handing me a plate while sitting down herself. I sign thank you as she smiles clicking play on the movie. I slowly finish eating before nudging into Emily wanting comfort. She softly drapes her arm around me as I sigh contently. I feel my eyes close allowing myself to fall back asleep. I don’t wake up again until I hear Emily moving around.

“Sorry Jen but Hotch called and we have a case. We’re meeting on the jet in thirty minutes.” I nod getting irritated when I realize I still can’t talk.

“Hey it’s okay, everyone will understand. Why don’t you make our coffee and I’ll pack your go bag.” Emily states. I get up walking to the kitchen zoning out while making our coffee. I know the team understands being nonverbal, especially because Spencer can become nonverbal also but it doesn’t ease the shame I feel. I finish making them as Emily comes in with the bags. I open the door as we start our trip down to the car to head to the airstrip, I curl up into the passenger seat as Emily starts to drive. The routine is always the same especially when I’m in a nonverbal state. We make it to the jet and board as the rest of the team is already there. I sit down on the couch as Emily alerts the team of me being nonverbal.

“JJ do you want your aac device?” Derek asks softly. The team has devices for both Spencer and me on the jet and in the office. I struggle to want to say yes but my shame is coming through.

“Can you grab it?” Emily speaks up as I snap my head toward her.

“Jen, there is nothing wrong with using it. You need it right now to communicate, you have been nonverbal for almost seven hours now.” Emily states handing me the device. I hit the don’t like button as the team sighs.

“JJ would it make you more comfortable if I used mine also?” Spencer asks softly. I shake my head not wanting him to also feel ashamed even though I know he doesn’t like me.

“Why don’t we get started on reviewing the case.” Hotch states as I sigh relieved the attention is off me. I put in little work input as we review the case trying to not use my aac device but Emily keeps pointing to it and nudging it to me. I sigh pushing it away after we get done with the review.

“Jen, why are you being difficult? You know your aac device helps you and you shouldn’t be ashamed to use it. Spencer has one too so no one is going to judge you.” Emily states as the rest of the team are doing their own thing.

“Difficult? Difficult? Don’t want.” I sign. Emily sighs turning towards me.

“I know you don’t love but you know it helps. Not everyone knows sign.” Emily signs knowing I don’t want the team hearing.

“Use later, not now.” I sign grabbing my book deciding the conversation is done. I zone out reading until we land and have to head to the station. Emily and I aren't paired together which is making me nervous because we’re in rural Alabama.

“JJ why don’t you start reviewing the case files and I’ll talk to the victims’ families,” Hotch states as we get settled into the conference room. I nod feeling some of the local LEO's eyes on me. There are no female officers in this department. I look through the files using my aac device when Hotch comes back in to join me.

“I’ll be back in a minute. I’m going to go talk to the captain to update him.” Hotch states leaving me alone. I don’t notice a group of officers coming in until they rip my device from my hands.

“Aw, she no longer has her helper. What is a woman like you even doing being a cop?” One laughs. I try to grab my device but he holds it further away as some of them step closer.

“What you can’t talk? What are you stupid?” One chuckles. I gulp trying to back away as tears start to fall.

“Come on say something or are you too stupid? You need a device to talk for you!” The leader laughs as a sob escapes my lips and I cover my ears rocking back and forth.

~

I grab my phone and walk away from the crime scene.

“Hey, Hotch.”

“Emily I need you to get back to the station. Some cops were harassing JJ and took her aac device. They touched her also, I can’t get her to calm down. I was talking to the captain in his office.” Hotch rambles as I cuss under my breath.

“I’ll be there in five. Grab her headphones out of her bag and try putting on Gilmore girls.” I ramble racing to the SUV.

“Okay,” Hotch states as I hear rustling in the background. I blur out everything until I get back to the station and race to JJ in the conference room. She’s curled up on the ground but luckily has her headphones on watching her phone. I slowly bend down in front of her.

“Hey, love. Are you okay?” I sign.

“Home.” She pushes on the aac device, luckily Hotch got it back.

“We will soon love. I’m going to go talk to Hotch real quick and then we can go back to the hotel.” I sigh relieved when she nods. I find Hotch along with the captain in his office,

“Agents I am so sorry. Those officers involved will be disciplined and I hope your agent is alright.” The older man rambles off.

“She’s alright and thank you. Hotch, I am going to take her back to the hotel for the night so she can fully calm down.” I state towards Hotch. He nods as I make my way back to Jen glaring at the group of officers.

“Let’s head back to the hotel love.” I smile as JJ nudges herself into me after getting off the floor. She still has her headphones in as I guide us to the hotel. I get us to the hotel room guiding JJ to the bed as I turn on only the lap in the room.

“Jen you think you’re okay to take off your headphones?” I sign once I realize she’s watching me. She slowly nods handing them to me.

“How are you feeling?”

“Feeling? Tired. Home.” JJ signs. I bend down in front of her.

“We’ll be home as soon as we get this case closed and I’ll make sure you’re paired with me for the rest of the time. Right now, why don’t we curl up in bed after we do our night routine.” I state softly smiling when I get a nod. JJ and I work through the night routine we have that we follow every night for stability before curling up in the queen bed. Hotch knows by now to just get us one bed instead of two twins.

“Get some sleep love, I’ll be here when you wake up,” I whisper kissing her head.

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Sunday 2 August 1835

7 10

12 ½

no kiss  breakfast at 8 10 - dullish coolish morning - breakfast at 8 10 -  A- off on the gray horse (1st time of her mounting him) to Lightcliffe school (her own pony being blistered on the near skin bone for a splent) walked with A- as far as Charles Howarth’s to see how she got on - on returning turned the ponies into the paddock and finished my breakfast - then at my desk writing the after part of yesterday etc till A- returned at 11 5 - then with her (rather tired) till went to my aunt at 12 ½ - read the short service in 20 minutes and sat with her till 1 from soon after then to after 2 very heavy rain with thunder and lightning so that we would not order the carriage out, and did not get to the school till 2 ¾ - only a minute or two there - the children had got their feet wet, so A- sent them home instead of to church - we ½ hour in the church (till 3 ½) before Mr Wilkinson got into the pulpit - he did all the duty - preached about 20 minutes - from Hebrew iv. 8, I think - sat an hour at Cliff hill Mrs AW- very glad to see us - seemed pleased at the idea of our going to London - then ¼ hour at Crownest explaining to Washington about Turner’s estimate for stones for the Tail goit and A- looking at plan of her Halifax property - gave SW- an order unlimited to buy the cottages in Hatters fold (let for about or above £50 per annum) to be put up to auction on Wednesday next – SW- to see Mr Leather on Tuesday and if not, to leave a note for him - told him SW- to give the average water at 5 1/2in. thro’ a 2ft. guage - 2 pumps of 8in. bore to life water 90ft. - what dimensions of wheel and goit does Mr. Leather recommend?  home at 6 ½ - dinner at 7 - a little while with my father and Marian to wish goodnight - then had Booth - he is now (having had the plans at home) in good spirits about the Lodge and bridge which he will begin of immediately - Charles H- had told him I was going away for 2 or 3 months, so B- came for money but can wait 2 or 3 weeks - explained about the Northgate business and how I went by the estimate of the work without taking into the account the price offered for old materials - B- thought it ‘nothing but right’ - then coffee till 9 - then wrote the last  16 lines of today - settled with George - we could have the places to London - indeed if we had taken them to Sheffield it would cost no more to go forwards to London! Lucky we determined to take them forwards an idea that only came into my head during the sermon at church this afternoon! to be off at 7am tomorrow to arrive in London at 6am on Tuesday at the Bull and Mouth - George took this evening my letter (and order for £4.10.0 on the Yorkshire district bank payable to George Buckle esquire with compliments and thanks for his civility and attention) to George Buckle Esquire Prerogative court office York post paid and my letter to ‘Mrs Hawkins 24 Dover street Piccadilly London post paid’ ordering a comfortable apartment and dinner (soup roast lamb and a pudding) to be ready for me at ‘6 on Tuesday evening the fourth instant’ - had just written so far at 9 20 - a few minutes with my aunt to wish goodnight and goodbye - she has been poorly all the day but seems rather better tonight -dullish but finish day till the very heavy rain and thunder and lightning from soon after 1 to about 2 ½ - still rain but less heavy till after 3 - afterwards fair or nearly so for the rest of the day -  packing from about 9 ¾ to 12 and A-, too, looking over maps to see what she wanted to complete a set etc etc and not in bed more than a minute or two before one

[pbandjesse]

I am very tired. We had a huge storm and the stress from that really took it out of me. I am trying to not feel very upset still but it's hard. I was very scared.

Thankfully the rest of today wasn't horrible. I was just dealing with some low level anxiety all day. I actually wanted the storm to be bad to make my anxiety make sense. But also I did not want there to be a crazy storm.

I slept well last night though. I did not want to get up because I was so cozy this morning and it was a bit chilly out. But I pulled myself together and got out of bed. I felt very cute. My hair would need to be washed but that was a later issue. For a while I just took my time getting dressed and poking around. All I wanted to do was walk down to the dining hall and get milk so that I could have some Thai tea. I felt very distracted. And then there were two separate wolf spiders that were almost the sides of a bird. And I was cursing and trying to get them out of the building because they were freaking me out so much. I try not to be bothered by many bugs while I'm here but wolf spiders are something different. They're entirely too big. A stockade boy came in to get string and he heard me curse a whole bunch. But he'll be fine.

Eventually go over to the dining hall and get milk and come back here and make breakfast. And it was a nice day. I had some very nice groups. And no one stole from me at least I don't think they did. I think some kids have more trouble with coming up with ideas than others. But there was a lot more teamwork today. I told everyone that they can have five pipe cleaners but if they work together they could double it. And some kids actually did. It was very cool to see. One group of girls used like 30 but whatever they made a cool flower.

It wasn't like a terribly exciting day. I had nice groups. I did my knitting. And I sewed some more embroidery on my fanny pack.

It was fine but I was a little stressed because the food came out so late and so I didn't get lunches for all of the tables outside like I normally would. Leaving it up to the counselors instead. And it was very disappointed when some counselors got themselves food before they got food for their kids and literally sat down and ate in front of them. So that wasn't cool. And just made me a little annoyed. But I came back up to arts and crafts for my last groups I had the new YLPs come down to learn how to make bracelets.

They were really nice honestly. They're all 15 or 16 years old and they were very sweet. The half of them were playing a silent game. So we had to do a lot of gesturing. But I taught them all how to make bracelets and of the six of them four of them successfully made them. The other two were boys and they did not want to make them but I told them they had to and then I expected to see a finished bracelet by the end of the week. We'll see if that actually happens.

I headed up to the pool with everyone else so I can go take a shower. And it was a good shower and I wash my hair and then I headed to the office for our meeting. But Heather said that the storm was coming in fast and so we canceled the meeting for today and I came back to arts and crafts.

I started cleaning up and bringing things inside. Because I knew a storm was coming. Originally it was supposed to start at 2:00 and then I got pushed back closer to 5:00. And I was packing things up and putting things away and I saw laura. And she was just kind of gently walking. And I told her hey a storm is coming in really fast you need to get back to your building and lock everything down. And she's like oh what do you mean. And I'm just like we're in a severe weather warning right now and you need to find somewhere where you can close yourself in or you're going to get locked somewhere you don't want to be. And she just didn't seem to get it and I was so surprised. I don't know if it's just because people don't realize how bad the storm can get out here but I didn't feel like some people were taking it very seriously until it got very scary.

I was very scared I closed down my building as soon as I could once the rain started picking up and then it felt like the end of the world in here. Four trees outside of my building exploded. Tree branches were flying everywhere. Manny's car who is parked out front of the building had the front of his car destroyed. Okay I'm exaggerating a little bit it's not destroyed but it was ripped off. I had taped a plastic bag over his window because he had accidentally left it open. So at least it's dry inside but the whole fender came off. And there are down trees and the power is still out. Thankfully when Heather said the storm was going to be bad I filled up all four of my water bottles because the electricity runs are wells and so we don't have any water right now. And it has been a very scary couple hours. I was under the table in here and I was shaking and I was so upset. And as the storm started to finally calm down my blood sugar was just awful. My hands were shaking and I felt so sick.

It was right around dinner time and no one knew what we were supposed to do and they weren't communicating well in the group chat. I know that we have a bunch of other group chats so I think some information was going into village group chats and not the main one and it was a whole thing. I was a little annoyed about it I did eat some of the food I have up here but it wasn't enough. Eventually Heather told CJ to get snacks from trading Post and so I texted siege and she said I can have some chips and so I walked down to meet her and then we drove around on the gator. To deliver those snacks to the poor day campers who are still here. They usually get picked up at 4:00. But apparently the highway has a bunch of down trees as well. It literally was terrifying to be up here.

Eventually though I opened up a can of fruit that I had and I ate half of that before walking down to the dining hall and the kitchen stuff was laughing at me and said that they did make me pasta. So I was able to sit outside and eat my pasta before the rain started up again.

And right now we are in a low. The sun briefly came out but the radar says another store might be coming through. I am just so tired. The stress of all that really took it out of me. And I kind of wish I would have gone home. But that's okay. I will be all right. Tomorrow is another day and hopefully all of the trees outside our building get caught up quickly because man it is very scary looking out there. Few of the trees took each other out and they're all intertwined because there was crosswinds. Joe our maintenance man said that the winds were spiraling on top and some of the trees closer to the roads are all intertwined together and have pulled each other down. It's a wild wild life out here sometimes. I wonder if that has anything to do with climate change honestly for how bad these storms have been getting the last couple weeks.

Wherever you are you're safe and that you sleep well tonight. Have a nice day tomorrow and remember to wash your hands.

[crmsnmth]

September Sky Chapter Two, Part 6

"We still got to chop mushrooms. We've got enough to get started but if it gets busy, we'll be out very fast. Same goes for the pepper mix. And there's really not a whole lot portioning done."

"Jesus Christ. What did Mitch do this morning?" Mitch was another cook. And not the best one. So I gave him the morning shift. All he had to deal with was a lunch rush, and I made sure Dana, another cook, was available if he needed help.

"Nah, he got all the other veg prepped. And he did most of the sauces." No matter what, Justin would stick up for Mitch. But they'd been friends a long time. It was Justin who got Mitch job here. And other than being kind of dumb, Mitch worked when I needed him too. Never missed a shift, He was stoned most of the time he was here, but so was half the kitchen. My rule was you fuck up once cause your stoned, you lose that. I will do write ups. And Tom, the owner, was kind of strict when it came to that sort of thing.

"For sure?" I asked, grabbing a tub of mushrooms. They'd been washed and just needed to be sliced. I didn't mind it. I liked working knife skills more than almost anything else in the kitchen. I've had a fascination with blades and knifes since I was about ten years old and my grandfather gave me an old and dull pocket knife.

"Yeah, I checked. Oh, and the French Onion is ready, just needs it's final torching before it goes out. I think we've got a good night ahead of us." * * **

"Dude, you fucking jinxed us." I said. Justin and I were outside, sitting on milk crates behind the building. Both of us were burnt, and covered in various sauces. I had a new cut across the top of my hand. Knife slipped off an onion and I wasn't paying attention. My own fault.

The night had been viscous. Not overly busy, but not at one moment were we not cooking. It was just after 10:30 and we had just finished the last table. Service was over. And even though the kitchen was a mess, Justin and I were worse, and there was more than enough to do before either of us could leave. Both of us were beaten down and exhausted. But we were in the home stretch. Justin pulled a joint of the pack of cigarettes he had and lit it. We would pass it back and forth before going back into the building to clean.

"How did I jinx us?" He asked, inhaling and passing me the small pencil joint.

"You had to say we had a good night ahead of us." I said.

"I didn't say it would be good for us."

"Fuck you," I laughed. We sat in silence, smoking our cigarettes and passing the joint back and forth. Resting. We finished the joint off into a roach. Our cigarettes were quickly after and tossed those into a coffee can we kept filled with water and hundreds of dead cigarettes.

An hour passed and we were just finished up. Justin was mopping the last little spot of the kitchen. I was finishing up the numbers in the office. I flipped off the switch to the lights, checked to make sure all our equipment was off.

Justin and I stepped out of the kitchen, and both took a stool at the bar, The place offered a shift drink. Some nights that turned to four or five shift drinks. There were a few Saturdays where Amber, Justin and I would stay until almost bar close. And some nights, I wouldn't even have one. Tonight was not one of those nights.

"High Life," I said to Amber. She used to try and guess what I was getting, but it changed all the time. Amber was a great bartender. And her drinks were always perfect when I'd get one. She grabbed my bottle and brought it over to me.

"Have you tapped into that new IPA?" Justin asked. I could never understand how anyone could drink IPAs. There just crazy bitter to me, and I always got a headache from them.

[babyzoomba]

She Sold Happiness in Glass Jars

The poster read, “Happiness! Sold in Glass Jars! Call Today!” and underneath the text was a phone number.

I was walking home from a long, exhausting day of work when I caught a glimpse of the paper stapled on an old telephone pole. I took a picture of it thinking it was amusing.

I was going to show my wife once I got to our apartment, but I was caught up with chores and forgot about it—dinner, dishes, laundry, packing a snack for our daughter, putting her to bed, then putting her toys away that she’d left out in the living room—every night, it was the exact same routine.

The next day, I awoke sleeping back-to-back with my wife. I always had to get up earlier than she did for my job, so I quietly got ready for the day and headed out the door.

At work, I was updating the company’s latest expense report. Most days were similar to this one. They were basically paying me to stare at a computer for nine hours a day and input a couple numbers in to a spreadsheet. I finished my work very quickly, so I decided to head out of the office early—it also helped that it was a Friday, and a lot of people leave early at the end of the week.

On my walk back, I was thinking of what my life had become. I did this often. I always dreamed of traveling when I was younger. I wanted to drive across the country or solo-backpack across Europe. Then I met Kelsey. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Kelsey. I mean, I still do. We just don’t have that spark anymore. When you meet someone and get in a relationship, whether it’s meant to be or not, some of your personal life-plans have to be put on hold. And then that relationship turns to marriage, and then you have a baby, then you have to enroll your daughter in a preschool, then you have to get a better paying job and work more hours and blah, blah, blah.

I’m not trying to throw a pity party for myself. I’m just saying I wasn’t exactly content with where I was in my life. I wouldn’t have referred to myself as a happy person.

As I took the same route home that I did every day to work and back, I walked by the same poster I had passed the day before. I don’t know why, I really don’t, but I decided to call the number. I figured it would be some joke. Maybe someone just picks up and says, “I love you!” on the other end and hangs up. Or maybe it’s a line to a sex-worker. I had no idea what to expect.

I called. It only rang once before someone picked up.

“Hello?” a woman said.

“Uh, hi—um, I’m calling about your poster? Your ad?”

“Oh, awesome,” she said calmly, “when do you wanna pick it up?”

“Pick what up?”

“The jar…” she said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Oh, of course, um,” I realized then that I had left work early without telling Kelsey, so I could just go pick it up now and she’d be none the wiser, “what exactly is it? That your selling?”

“I just told you. It’s happiness. In a glass jar. Like the poster said. Happiness keeps best in glass jars. They’re more durable than, say, a plastic bag.”

“Um, okay. Should we meet somewhere?”

“For sure. I don’t want you to end up being a creep or something, so let’s go to a public place.”

The public place we decided on was a Starbucks parking lot a little over a mile from me.

Now, I didn’t think I was really going to be buying a jar of happiness or whatever. I was 99% sure she was going to sell me drugs. Maybe heroine would be in the jar. I remember thinking, Oh no, ‘happiness’ is probably a nickname for some street drug and I’m going to a drug deal. What if she’s a cop? Am I going to be arrested? But something inside me told me to keep walking, and so I did.

I stood outside and texted her.

Me: I’m here.

Her: Cool. Be there in a sec.

Me: What are you driving?

Her: Silver Camry.

And as her final text came through, I saw her car pull in. She took a spot not too far from where I stood. I could see there was no one else in the car, which put my kidnapping fear to rest. She opened her door and stood on the pavement, looking around until her eyes met mine. I gave her a little nod of acknowledgment. She simply responded by waving her hand, gesturing for me to come over to her car, so I did.

She was young, maybe mid-twenties, with curly, golden hair. Her skin was pale and contrasted with the all-black outfit she was wearing. I thought she looked like Glinda the Good Witch from The Wizard of Oz had put on the Wicked Witch’s clothes.

“Nice day out,” she said as a greeting.

“Oh, yeah it is. Hadn’t really paid attention to it.”

“You were the one that called about the jar, right?”

“Yeah, that was me.”

“Cool, well, here you go.”

She handed me a very small, glass mason-jar. It couldn’t have been more than two inches tall. Inside of it was a light. Not a light bulb—just light. It was like someone bottled up sunshine. It glowed even in the midafternoon daylight. It looked like a tiny sun, or a tiny universe existing in this little crystal-walled home. I was admiring it with no attempt to hide the awe on my face.

“Pretty rad isn’t it?”

“What—what is it?”

“You’ve asked that, like, three different times, I think. My answer is still the same. It is happiness. Happiness in a glass jar.”

“What do I do with it?”

“Keep it,” She said simply, “if you have any problems shoot me a text.”

She started to get into her car.

“Wait!” I said, “I thought you were selling this? How much is it?”

“Don’t worry, man,” she said with a smile, “you’ll pay.”

She closed her door and I stepped out of her way as she backed up, then drove off. What the hell had just happened? What was I holding? I looked down at the jar again, its radiance was simply mesmerizing. I put it in my pocket and could see its glow slightly through my pants. I began to walk home.

What was just a nice, sunny day, quickly changed into a rainy one with clouds wrapping the sky. It was not forecasted that it would rain, or else I would’ve ridden the bus or subway to work that day. I jogged home trying not to get too drenched. I finally found shelter once I made it to my apartment building.

I walked up to my door and found that my key wasn’t on my key ring anymore. Shit, I can’t believe I lost it again, I thought.

I knocked on the door and said in a somewhat loud voice, “Hey babe it’s me, I don’t know what happened to my key.” I heard the door being unlocked from the other side.

When the door opened, I was greeted by a large, heavy-set man with greasy hair and unkempt goatee, he said, “I think you got the wrong door, bud.”

“Oh!” I said, disoriented, “my bad, sorry, have a good one.”

He let out a chuckle as he closed the door.

Apartment number 33.

I know that was my apartment. I know it was. I’d been in apartment 33 for five years now. But that was not my apartment. From what I could see inside, all the furniture was different, it was painted a different color, it was all wrong. I felt like I’d hit my head and was drugged. In that moment, nothing made sense.

I pulled out my phone to call Kelsey so she could calm me down and tell me I just got confused for a second. But her contact wasn’t in my phone. In fact, nothing was in my phone. I had no messages with her. No previous calls. No pictures. It was like my phone reset to its factory settings. Did that girl somehow switch my phone out when I wasn’t looking? I would’ve just dialed Kelsey's number manually, but I couldn’t quite remember it. I had known it by heart before, but not anymore. I needed to get back to the office, I had all my contacts backed up on my work computer.

Since it was still raining, I hopped on the bus which had a stop right in front of the apartment complex. I rode downtown toward my office, the whole time staring at my wet shoes, wondering what the hell was going on.

We have a keycard access to our building so only authorized personnel can get inside. I always keep my access card in my wallet, always. But, surprise, surprise—it wasn’t there. I buzzed in to the speaker we had for guests with appointments, or employees as a back-up in case anyone lost or forgot their card.

BZZZ

“Hey this is Tim, I must’ve lost my card. My employee number is…” I stopped as I drew a blank.

A voice came through the Speaker, “Tim? You got cut out, what’s your employee number?"

“Um, I can’t remember, I—”

“That’s fine, just tell me your full name and department.”

“Uh, finance. I’m in finance. My full name is Tim Brooks.”

“One sec.”

About thirty seconds later, the man spoke to me again.

“We don’t have a Tim Brooks working in this building. Did you have an appointment with someone?”

I backed up in surprise, almost tripping on my own feet. I had just been in that office an hour or two ago. What was happening to me? I felt like I was getting Alzheimer’s but going through every stage in one day. I stared at my hands, unsure if I was in the right body. I felt like the world around me was disintegrating. I wasn’t in control, I was merely sitting inside somebody else’s head, watching the world through their eyes.

Just then, I got a text. I recognized the number immediately, it was that girl. The one who gave me the jar. I had forgotten all about it until I saw her text.

Her: Hey. How’s it going?

I looked at my phone, dumbfounded. It made me angry she was so nonchalant about this. She knew what was going on. She had done this somehow.

Me: What the hell did you do to me?!

Her: The worst is yet to come.

I was astronomically close to just chucking my phone as far as I could in frustration. I took the jar out of my pocket. It looked unchanged, still glowing just as bright.

“What the fuck did you do!” I yelled at the jar, realizing I probably looked like a lunatic.

As I stared at its glistening glass, I realized something. I didn’t know what my wife’s face looked like anymore. I knew her name. Well, I know it started with a K, or maybe a C. I couldn’t picture her in my mind. I knew I had a wife. I knew I did. Yes, because I had a daughter. I had a wife and a daughter. I just, couldn’t remember their faces then—or their names, or their birthdays, or any memories I had with them.

I know they existed. They did exist. I had just seen them that morning, right? I couldn’t remember how she looked, or what she smelled like. What was our first date? We had a wedding, right? What about our first kiss? Or my daughter—or was it my son? Maybe I didn’t even have a kid. But my wife, or girlfriend, she was real. I knew she was. The thought was tearing me apart. I couldn’t see her in my head. I couldn’t recall a single fact about her.

I was standing outside of the same building, but I was unsure why I was. Did I work there? I must work somewhere. The rain was accompanied by a chilly wind now. It was whipping at my face, making my nose and cheeks sting. I wanted to go home. I wanted to be with her. I wanted to be warm. I wanted to go in to a shitty office job that kept a roof over my head. I wanted it all. I was soaking wet. I was miserable. I couldn’t remember my parents, or my childhood. Did I even have any friends? Why was I in the rain?

I looked down at my hand. I was still clutching the jar. The only memory of my entire life I could concretely remember was that girl giving it to me. Telling me it was happiness. It did not bring happiness. It brought pain. It bought suffering. I was more miserable in that moment than I’d ever been.

My phone buzzed:

Break the jar, Tim.

I looked at my other hand. With the setting sun and the rainy sky, I swear the jar glowed brighter than any street light near me. I didn’t break it because I was following her instruction. I broke it because I was angry. I broke it because I was upset. I needed a release. I raised my arm above my head, and brought it down with one swift motion, shattering the jar on the concrete beneath my feet.

That dark, chilly air accompanying the rain spread away like it was the shockwave of a bomb going off, and I was at the epicenter. I saw the warm, yellow light from inside the jar spread rapidly across the ground and ascend into the sky. It was as if I was watching the beginnings of the universe being created—like God had just snapped his fingers and said, “let there be light.” I was engulfed in it. I could no longer see street or rain, or anything dark. I felt like I was plummeting into a star going faster than the speed of light. It felt like sitting in front of a fire on a cold winter’s night, but that warmth was covering every inch by body.

And then I blinked.

Immediately I could feel the sheets beneath me, and my back barely touching my wife’s. I was staring out the window. The morning light drenched through the glass and gleamed on my face.

I stood from bed and grabbed my phone. It was Friday morning. I had one text:

Let me know if you ever need another jar :)

I called in sick to work. I snuck into my daughter’s room and greeted her with a kiss and told her she didn’t have to go to preschool today. We were going to have a family day. She smiled and stretched out her arms with a yawn before curling up and falling back asleep.

I got back in bed and squeezed my wife tightly. I didn’t let go for hours. Our daughter came into our room and woke us up eventually—she was jumping on the bed and shouting for us to wake up. Yesterday I may have found that annoying. Yesterday I may have found a lot of things annoying, or monotonous, or dull.

But not today. Today, I pulled her under the covers in between me and Kelsey.

Today was going to be a good day. Today, I was happy.

[fusion-ego]

gonna bitch more at length under the cut about the job situation, don’t mind me

i’ve already talked to family and friends about it but this is really just to try and get it the rest of the way out of my head so that i can, hopefully, focus on something else finally

so, long story short, i’ve been employed through a state program at a women’s shelter since May. this is important, as the state program is paying me minimum wage ($12/hr) to do a job that i had, at the time, decided i loved very much, because at the time the shelter had no paying positions available.

in july, the board of directors here held interviews for both the director and assistant director position. at the time, it was the assumption of myself, the president of the board, and the previous director (who was still director at the time) that i would be receiving the director position. i had even been assured by the board president that i was “next in line. if we hire anybody for anything, you’re the first on the list.”

both at and prior to the interview, i made it very clear that i would be willing to quit my state program on the spot if i were to be hired.

well, in the end, i was hired as the assistant director so that a more experienced person could take the director position - i was not upset about this, i’m of the opinion that the director should be more experienced! i was upset that i ended up having to train her, yes, but that’s just life. anyway, the board told me to finish out my program and then the assistant director position was mine officially!

well.

this is where it gets long.

on the one hand, i’ve been working for about five months now for six days a week, 40 hours a week, and i’m exhausted, so i was both looking forward to and dreading the day that i got hired on officially and got half my hours cut down because the assistant director position is part time. i was considering if i really wanted to stay at this job doing 25 hours a week maximum for one more dollar an hour, likely having to get a second job to stay afloat, or if i just wanted to seek a different job where i would at least get two days off a week for full time.

on the other hand, over the last couple of weeks i’ve just been getting more and more irritated with the way that the board runs things. put very simply, the board is a bunch of old christian white ladies from the conservative midwest - i shouldn’t have to elaborate past that on why i, a 20-something agnostic, might disagree with their policies. but when those policies include turning away people who are smoking weed, even medicinally, riding the residents’ asses about rules and regulations to the point that they would rather live on the street than be here, etc, we have bigger problems. it was pissing me off something fierce anyway.

add onto that that over the course of this week, i  - come into work to one of the residents apologizing to me and asking me to get her an exit form so that she could start packing and leave because the board president made her and her roommate cry and she just can’t deal with it anymore. (monday) - worked for seven hours (7am-2pm) because it’s just easier for me to take those hours than to struggle to get a volunteer in for them, went home, and was then called back because someone forgot to remind the director that the board meeting was that night at 6 and she had to go (she was scheduled for 6pm-10pm), and ended up sitting in the office for 2 more hours because they couldn’t get anyone else to cover it on short notice. (tuesday) - my day off! all volunteers and employees know that i am not to be bothered or asked to come in unless it is an emergency. i do my shopping early in the morning because my mom needs to have her truck back by 11am. i finish up at the store at about 8am. i know that our overnight worker for tuesday agreed to stay until 7:45 so that one of the board members could come in to work 7:45-10am. i spend my entire shopping trip dreading a call from her telling me that the board member, who is notoriously tardy, didn’t show up and we need to figure something else out. come 8am, i have not received the call and assume that the board member showed up. at 8:30, i drop my mom’s truck back off at her work and begin the 1 mile trek back to my apartment from there. i do not step foot off the block my mom’s work building is on before i receive the call i’ve been dreading all morning. i end up walking almost all the way to work (an additional 0.3 miles away) before i receive a second call saying i can go back home because the board member is almost there. i walk the 0.3 miles back home in an understandably foul temper. (wednesday) - go into work as usual for my once-a-week overnight shift at 10pm. i nap on and off throughout the shift because i’m exhausted, but nothing happens. (thursday) - i leave work at 7am, head back home, and go to bed, knowing i’m scheduled to be back at 4pm. the day goes fine, and i return to work as expected. i arrive on time and am sat down by the board president to receive a talk that apparently she was asked at the board meeting on tuesday to give me, which boils down to “since you’re not actually employed by us, we’re revoking your back office key. also you’ve been late a few times lately and the board is concerned about that. and you’ve not answered your phone a few times when we’ve called. also the board thinks more people would volunteer if you’d put your name down less on the schedule in advance. and also the board isn’t sure if we’ll actually be hiring you or not, k thx bye.” understandably upset, i sit with the director (who was present because she was asked to be and because she wanted to support me) and cry for several minutes after the board president leaves. i return to my old place in the front office and spend most of my shift looking for other jobs and conversing with a resident who is doing her best to help me feel better. (friday) - after sitting awake until almost 3am because i can’t stop thinking about all this bullshit, i return to work at 7:35am, 5 minutes later than i was supposed to arrive, because i mistakenly didn’t get out of bed until 7:29 and ran to work because i didn’t want our friday overnight worker to have to stay any longer than our previously agreed upon 30 minutes after when she was actually scheduled to leave. i’ve only been here for about 2 of the 7 hours i’m scheduled for and i am already ready to leave. i’m working on a letter of resignation. (saturday)

(tl;dr - it’s been a rough week, we lost a resident monday, i was asked to work after i already finished a shift tuesday, i almost had to come in on my one day off, and then on friday i was reprimanded and had my back office keys taken over some stupid shit. i am now seeking other employment.)

now, on the subject of the reprimand i received yesterday (friday, oct 7, 2022), i am not going to deny that i’ve been late a few times recently, or that i’ve missed calls. i have! i know i have, i own up to that. but i’m frustrated over it because, one, no one is going to pick up their phone every single time that someone calls them, even if it’s work. what if i was in the bathroom and my phone wasn’t? fuck’s sake. and two, i’ve been here both as a volunteer and then as an outsourced employee for almost a year, and in that time, i have been late a grand total of five times. i’ve missed a shift i was supposed to come in for twice.

concerning the hours i’m scheduled for in advance, i work here 40 hours a week, week in and week out. i do this not just because i need a 40 hour paycheck to be able to save any money at all, but because the hours i put myself down for, i have repeatedly had trouble getting volunteers for.

and, do you remember that bit up top? where i was hired as the assistant director and told the position was mine after my state program finished? well, now that they’ve taken my key to the back office because i’m “not employed by them”, i can no longer complete my duties properly. without access to the back office, i cannot access prior resident files, i cannot finish an intake because i cannot access the photocopier to have a printed record of new residents’ ID, social, and drug test, i cannot update the schedule officially because i cannot print it in color in the front office, etc.

so, since my program ends on november 16, i have decided that i’ll go ahead and take an hours cut and i will find any reason i can (unless the director, who has been on my side the whole time, is the one to ask) to not be here during hours they can’t get volunteers for. i’m also turning in a letter of resignation, even though they don’t deserve one.

i’m hoping, to some extent, that they’ll realize how bad they fucked up and scramble to try and keep me, but whether they do or not, i won’t be staying. not unless they’re offering me a whole lot more than $13/hr to put up with their bullshit.

i might come back as a volunteer after i get my new job squared away, but ultimately that will depend upon how the board reacts to my resignation and whether or not i decide to give them an MLA style 8 page paper on why they should all get fucked.

i’m not generally the type to overhype myself or suck my own dick about how much i contribute to a job. i’m an average worker by all measures.

but i was willing to work 6 days a week for them for the rest of the foreseeable future because i truly cared! i have been here for a year, and even before i was actually working for them i was keeping this place afloat by volunteering for 30 or more hours a week.

they fucked up by thinking they could fuck me over.

they’re going to realize that, one way or another.

even if they don’t, that’s fine. it’s not going to matter after i leave, anyhow, but i guess a person can dream about having that kind of power.

[twobillionseconds]

August 25th - 29th 2022

I know multi-day post but hey we had a lot going on this weekend. 

August 25th:

It was a Thursday so drove into work. Man I can’t remember. But I remember coming home early so that I can cook dinner. The wife had to work that night. After dropping her off I came back home and fed the dog. I went to the gym after. Had to prep because my friend and his wife was coming with their 2 boys. 

August 26th:

Went into work in the morning. I just had to get some stuff done in the office. I ended up chatting with a few teammates about random stuff. After I got home I started to do a bit more work. My friend and his wife came around 4PM. We helped them get settled in. They went to go get dinner with some other friends in the area. The wife and I did our thing at home. When they got back we hung out and chatted.

August 27th:

We woke up and made waffles for breakfast. They brought down their waffle maker. It was a huge ordeal. After cleaning up my friend and his wife left their 2 boys with us to spend a night together before their second set of twins. I also dropped off the dog at a sitter for the night so that we are only dealing with 2 toddlers.

I took their boys to another friend’s house to have them play with his kids. We stayed for a little bit and then came home to feed them. While my wife was feeding them I went to go pick up some sandwiches. Pretty good sandwiches from Mona Lisa. After the boys went to bed we ate dinner and made a couple drinks and watched Meet the Parents. 

August 28th:

Woke up and fed the boys breakfast. Afterwards we took them to a nearby park to get them some play time. After the park we fed them lunch. I picked up the dog around this time and my friend and his wife came back. The boys went down for a nap for a few hours. During this time the adults hung out and rested up for the dinner party. We all met at our friend’s house for dinner. We just got Bronx Pizza. We ate, caught up and it felt like old times, except we are older and married. When we got back home we put the boys to bed and the adults hung out some more. My friend and I debated and discussed philosophy, metaphysics and other topics to the wee hours into the morning. We are going to pay for this.

August 29th:

Ugh I did pay for it. Anyway I woke up and fed the dog before the rest of the house woke up. After I started cooking breakfast for everyone. We just made scrambled eggs and toast so that we can finish what we had in the fridge. We had breakfast on our deck. We hung out for a bit more and helped them pack their things. They left around 11:30. Also we had a heater guy come to inspect our ducts. Second inspection failed. What are these contractors doing? Anyway after everyone left I knocked out for about an hour. When I woke up I lounged around for a bit but had to shape up. The wife and I took the dog for a walk at Fiesta Island and after took him for a bath. When we got back we got ready for dinner with my wife’s old family friend. Dinner was great. I am glad my wife had people from her hometown here. After dinner I headed to the gym. Ok finally 5 day stint done. 

[study-coffee-chicago]

Overprotective (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister! Imagine)

A/N: This was a request from an anon who wanted overprotective Jay and Will and angst and fluff! So, I hope I did your request justice! 

Thanks for reading! Remember to like/reblog and comment! I love reading your comments because they put a smile on my face!

Thunderstorm (age 7)

It had been six months since your mom died. Jay was back from his second deployment and was now a police officer and Will was in New York for what you called doctor school. And your dad, well he was here in Chicago with you physically, but not mentally.

You whimpered as you hugged your teddy bear--whom you had affectionately named Officer Chuckles after you heard someone call Jay that at a picnic for police and their families--tight to your chest. The thunder was really loud and you swore it was shaking the house. And, to make matters worse, your dad wasn't here; he had left his seven-year-old daughter alone at home, during a thunderstorm, at 11:30 at night.

Your mom had loved thunderstorms and she'd always watch them as they rolled in. If it was morning, she'd sit and drink her coffee on the front porch while she watched them and listened to the rain drum down on the roof. If it was nighttime, she'd have something called wine, which she told you that you couldn't have until you were older, and do the same thing.

Because of this, every time there was a thunderstorm and your dad wasn't working, he'd always go to the cemetery to visit your mom. You didn't know what he did there. You just knew that every time there was a thunderstorm, you'd just be that much more scared.

Your mom used to comfort you when there was a thunderstorm; she'd tell you that the thunder was just a giant up in the sky bowling and that he just got a strike. But, your dad wouldn't really comfort you because he'd just leave. And, there was only so much Officer Chuckles and huddling in your blankets could do for you.

"We gotta call Jay," you whispered to your bear. "He'll know what to do."

So, you gripped Officer Chuckles in your little hand and then made your way into the kitchen. You jumped as more lightning and thunder cracked across the sky.

You flicked on the light and picked up the phone. You looked at the number on the fridge and carefully dialed it and then hit the "talk" button. Then, you listened to it ring while little whimpers of fear escaped your mouth.

"Dad? Why are you--" You jumped and a small scream came out. "Y/N? Kiddo, what are you doing up? It's late."

"I- I'm scared," you said quickly and ran back to your room with Officer Chuckles and the phone still in your hand and pressed up to your ear.

"Because of the thunder?" Jay asked gently.

"Uh-huh," you answered as you buried yourself back under your covers. "Daddy's not here and-and it's really loud."

"Dad's not there?"

"He went to see Mommy." You squeaked as more thunder came.

Jay cursed on the other end of the phone and hoped you didn't pick up on it. "Y/N, I will be there in ten minutes, okay? I just want you to stay in your room until I get there. Can you do that for me?"

"Uh-huh. But please come fast, Jay Jay. Me and Officer Chuckles are really scared."

"I'll come really, really fast. I promise. Now, I have to put down the phone so I can drive. But I promise I'll get there really fast. I love you."

"I love you, too, Jay Jay."

***

Jay cursed himself as he drove as fast as he could towards his childhood home. He didn't even speed, just tried to go the speed limit. But, it was downpouring so hard that he had to slow down so that he didn't hydroplane and get into a car accident. He didn't need that right now and you definitely didn't need that right now.

Jay walked up the front porch--forgetting his umbrella in his car because he was so focused on getting to you--and then found the spare key under the flower pot. The flower was fake; there's no way your dad could keep a plant alive.

"Y/N?" he called out as he slipped off his shoes once he was inside. "It's me. It's Jay Jay."

Thunder cracked across the sky and Jay swore under his breath and then took off running to your bedroom.

There, he found you huddled underneath your comforter clutching Officer Chuckles to your chest and resting your head against him. Your small night light was the only thing giving off light in your room.

"Y/N," he whispered, causing you to jump. "It's okay, it's just me. It's Jay," he said quickly and then flicked on your bedroom light.

Now that everything was bathed in light, you jumped out of bed without hesitating and held tightly onto Jay. "It's too loud! It's too loud!" you wailed as your fingers clutched the bottom of his shirt.

"I know, I know," he soothed and gently rubbed your back while you continued to cry. "But remember what Mom said? It's just a giant up in the sky bowling."

"Well, he needs to play a quieter game."

Jay laughed at that. "I mean, we could try to tell him that, but I don't think he'd listen since he's way bigger than us." You nodded in agreement. Jay crouched down in front of you, seeing as you had finally let go of him. "Y/N, can you grab me your most favorite backpack?"

"Why?" you asked, tilting your head to the side. "It's nighttime, not school time."

Jay smiled at your innocence. "I know. But, you're gonna come over to my house and we're gonna have a sleepover."

"Like we do on some weekends?"

"Just like that."

More thunder.

You grabbed onto Jay's hand. "You come with me to get my backpack in the living room?"

Jay nodded. "Of course."

Once you were back in your room, Jay started grabbing some clothes for you and you grabbed your favorite blanket and Officer Chuckles. Then, something dawned on you. You were always supposed to tell your daddy if you went somewhere.

"Will Daddy be mad?"

Jay turned away from your dresser and to look at you. "Why would he be mad, kiddo?"

"Because I'm not- I'm not telling him I'm having a sleepover with you."

"Oh, he knows."

"You talked to him?"

"I called him on the way here." Well, he sent him a strongly worded text message, but that was basically the same thing. All he needed to know was that you were coming to his house since you were scared of the storm (not to mention you were seven years old and you shouldn't be home alone in the first place). He hadn't answered the text yet, but at least he'd know where you were.

"Okay. Will you come with me to get my raincoat, too?"

Jay had just finished putting the last of a pair of clothes in your backpack. "I think we can grab that on our way out. Good thinking, kiddo."

He shouldered your little backpack and took your blanket from you so that it wouldn't drag on the wet ground when you walked outside. Then, you put on your rain boots and raincoat at the front door and clutched Officer Chuckles super tight and walked out to Jay's car, and started on your way to his apartment.

***

"Hold my hand when we walk through the parking lot, okay?" Jay said as he pulled into the parking lot of his apartment building.

"Okay."

He put the car in park and then turned it off and got out, quickly opening an umbrella he had stashed in his passenger seat. Then, he made his way over to your side of the car and helped you out and grabbed your backpack, and slung your blanket over his shoulders. You held tight to Officer Chuckles with one hand and held Jay's hand with the other while you two walked into his apartment building, the umbrella Jay was holding with his opposite hand shielding you from the rain.

Once you were inside, you handed Jay your raincoat and he hung it up on the rack because you couldn't reach it.

Jay started digging around in your backpack for the spare pair of pajamas that he had packed for you. "Okay, Y/N, why don't you go put on these nice comfy pajamas--"

"Because mine are kinda wet?" you asked and looked up at your big brother.

"Yes, because yours are kind of wet," Jay confirmed. "And then after, we can go to sleep, okay?"

Thunder cracked again and you jumped.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Jay said and crouched down in front of you. "I promise you nothing bad will happen."

"You promise?"

"I promise," he confirmed with a nod of his head.

You turned to go change your clothes, and then remembered something. "Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"Of course."

After you changed into dry pajamas, you put your dirty ones in your backpack and left the bathroom to see Jay sitting on the couch waiting for you. "Ready for bed?" he asked.

You yawned. "Uh-huh."

Jay glanced at the clock. It was nearing 12:30 am. There was no way you were going to go to school after six and a half hours of sleep. So, he had a plan. And that plan involved iHOP.

Once you got into bed, you tried to fall asleep, but you couldn't. Jay noticed this when you jumped at the thunder. So, he grabbed your little hand in his and squeezed. You then moved closer to him and buried your head in his chest. You knew you were safe from the thunder because your big brother was around and he was big and strong and would protect you from anything. So, you soon fell asleep after, ending your very long night.

***

You rubbed your eyes as you walked out of Jay's bedroom the next morning, Officer Chuckles in your hand dangling by your side.

"Morning, sleepyhead," Jay said.

You looked at the clock. 8:30. "Don't I gotta be at school?" you asked, scrunching up your eyebrows which Jay thought was the cutest thing ever.

"Not until after lunchtime," he told you. "You were up really late, so I wanted to let you sleep. And, so we can go out for breakfast."

"Really? Where?" you asked excitedly, almost dropping Officer Chuckles because you were absolutely buzzing with excitement.

"That is a surprise. Now, how about you go get dressed and brush your teeth and brush your hair, and then we can get going, okay?"

"Okay!"

Then, you scampered off and did just what Jay told you to do. You wanted to know what the surprise would be!

Once you were all done, you and Jay left, and on the ride to the place where you were going for breakfast, you kept asking where you'd be going. But, Jay just wouldn't let up. But, then you saw the big blue sign and knew exactly where you were headed.

"iHOP!" you exclaimed. "Smiley pancakes! Smiley pancakes!" You looked at Jay as he turned into the parking lot. "Can I get the smiley face pancakes? Please, Jay Jay?"

Jay smiled at your excitement. "Yes, you can get the smiley face pancakes."

"Yay!" you cheered.

After breakfast and going back to his apartment to get your school stuff that he had packed in your backpack last night, Jay brought you to school.

When he got back to his apartment, he started making phone calls and cashing in favors.

A month and a half later, Jay officially had guardianship of you.

***

Beach fight (age 14)

"It's so hot," you whined as you walked out of your room in the middle of summer and into the kitchen. You looked at Jay who was drinking coffee out of a mug. "I don't get how you can drink hot coffee. It's too hot out for that."

"You--" Jay took a sip of his coffee.--"are such a drama queen."

"But I'm a queen, so I'll take it."

Jay rolled his eyes. "Wonder where you got the quick comebacks from."

"Just a tall, red-headed doctor. Definitely not you."

"You're funny, kid. Real funny." Jay's phone buzzed. He furrowed his eyebrows. Then it buzzed again and he made eye contact with you and tilted his head to the side. "You texted Will about a beach day? And said that I said it was okay?"

"Uh-huh. You aren't the only Halstead sibling who can be sneaky you know."

"Normally, normally I'd be pissed. But, it's scorching out. So I'll give him a call. Go start getting ready and wear your swimsuit under your clothes so we don't have to change there."

"Yes! Thank you, Jay! Love you!" You gave him a quick hug.

"Yeah, yeah. You never love me more than when you get your way."

Then, you went off to your room to get changed.

***

"Will said he'd be right here," Jay muttered as he looked at his phone for the millionth time in ten minutes. Will and Jay had set up a spot to meet, but Will was running late.

Then, Will's familiar car pulled in and he parked. "Sorry I'm late," he started as he stepped out. "Had to pick up some groceries." He held up the six-pack of beer. "Can't have a beach day without alcohol."

Jay rolled his eyes. "Uh, yes, you can. And both of us are driving home." He turned to you. "Y/N, you're gonna have to make sure each of us only drinks two. I should be fine, but I don't know about him here."

"Hey!" Will exclaimed and then smacked Jay upside the head with his free hand.

You rolled your eyes and grabbed your beach chair and your drawstring bag with your towel and your book from Jay's truck. Jay grabbed the cooler, his bag, and his chair. Will grabbed his stuff and then the three of you were off.

***

You had waded in the water and read your book for a bit while Will and Jay chatted about some mutual cases they had come across while drinking their beer and eating snacks. You were snacking on your cheddar popcorn, (which Will had affectionately picked up a bag for you when he went to get beer because he knew it was your favorite) when you realized something: the boys had a drink other than water but you didn't.

You debated which brother would allow you to buy something from the coffee cart up by the entrance to the beach.

Will won.

"Will," you said sweetly and turned around to look at him.

"Uh oh," Jay said. "That's her I want something voice. Don't give in. Be strong."

Will rolled his eyes. "Yes, Y/N?"

"I was thinking--"

"It's worse than I thought!" Jay exclaimed. "She's thinking!"

You scowled at him and turned back to face Will. "I was thinking that since you two have something other than water to drink and I don't, could I maybe get something from the coffee cart? Please?"

"Yeah, sure. Why not?"

"Dude! She's fourteen! She shouldn't be drinking caffeine...especially not at noon!" Jay protested.

"There's this thing called decaf coffee, Jay."

"There's this thing called decaf coffee, Jay," Jay mocked. "Shut up, Will."

Will rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I have to go to the bathroom, so I'll walk up with there with you and just give you money and meet you back there." He looked at Jay. "Are you okay with that? I know you hate when she's out of our sight in super crowded place like this," he asked Jay.

"I do not do that!" Jay argued. You and Will gave him a look. "Fine. Maybe I do. I just see a lot of stuff that I never want her to be involved in. Just, make sure you give Will his change back."

"I will," you said. After all, you were in a swimsuit, not that there were pockets there for you to stash your big brother's change like you normally did and then keep it for yourself.

You and Will made your way up the beach to the entrance where he handed you a ten-dollar bill and you two split up. He went straight to go to the bathrooms and you took a slight right to go to the coffee cart.

Will had said on the walk up not to wait for him and to just go back to Jay. So, you ordered your decaf iced mocha caramel latte, took the four dollars and something cents in change, got your latte, and started to walk back to Jay.

That was, you walked until you heard it.

A catcall.

You pretended you didn't hear it, that it was directed at someone else.

But then, "Babe with the coffee." You stopped walking. "I know you heard me. C'mon, show us that pretty face of yours."

Your eyes widened as you swallowed and your lip started to tremble. You knew you should just make a run for it, but you knew that in running in the sand with your hands full, that you'd just end up face planting and getting a mouth full of sand.

"Aw, c'mon baby. I've got friends, too. You don't like me, maybe you'll like them. We'll like you either way."

You wanted to smack yourself at what came out of your mouth next. You turned around. These guys were probably 23-25 year-olds and there were three of them. They were way taller than you and you knew that they'd easily be able to overpower you. But, you said the first thing that you thought would make them back off.

"I have a boy--". You cleared your throat. "I have a boyfriend."

"I don't see no boy." He turned to one of his friends. "Do you?" The other guy shook his head.

Where the fuck is Will?

"Take my money. Just, leave me alone."

You held the money out to the man, but instead of taking it, he grabbed your wrist instead. Hard.

You dropped your coffee, the plastic cup breaking in the sand and making the cold, sweet liquid form a puddle.

"How cute, boys. She's paying us, normally we'd be paying her!"

From down on the beach, Jay was watching from afar. He saw some guys walking towards you and at first, he assumed that they might've been older siblings of some kids you knew at school or something like that.

Then, he noticed your rigid posture and stood up.

He started walking toward you.

You held your hand out and the guy grabbed your wrist.

Jay started running.

"Just, let me go and we can pretend this never happened," you said, borrowing a line you had seen in movies multiple times...not that it ever worked in those, but maybe it'd work in real life.

"No can--"

"Hey!"

Oh, thank God for Jay.

"You the boyfriend?" he asked rhetorically. "She's gotta be sixteen then. How is she?"

"For your information, I'm the brother. And, it'd be in your best interest to let go," Jay growled.

"Three on one. This should be fun." The guy shrugged.

"Listen, man. I really don't feel like doing this here. So just, let her go."

He tugged you closer to him and you yelped, your front hitting his chest.

You squeezed your eyes shut.

You felt arms wrap around you and pull you away from the random guy's chest and you screamed.

"You son of a bitch!" Jay yelled.

You opened your eyes to see that Will was the one who had run up and pulled you back, your heart still beating out of your chest.

"Jay, he's not--" Will tried, but it was no use.

Jay threw the first punch.

The guy's head flew back and he fell to the ground. The guy tried to throw a punch from there, but Jay easily dodged it. Then, he threw three more hits to his face.

Will turned his head away from the fight at the sound of shitty sirens. "Fucking hell, Jay! Security!"

He didn't stop.

"Jay!" you yelled.

Now, this caused him to stop for a second...right as security pulled up next to him.

Jay looked up.

"He threw the first punch!" the man yelled to security before Jay could even explain the situation in its entirety.

"And you harassed my sister, so I think me punching you was warranted!" Jay argued. He turned to security. "Jay Halstead, CPD detective with the Intelligence unit."

The two beach security guards shared a glance. One sighed. "Okay, to make this easier, we won't call the cops because apparently, he is one. But, both of you are banned from the beach."

"What?" the guy bellowed. "You're not even going to ask him for some identification? Unbelievable!"

"I can easily go grab my badge from my car, officer," Jay suggested.

"That won't be necessary," the security guard said. He turned to you. "Miss, did he hurt you in any way?" You held out your hand to show him your wrist, which was red and you knew you'd have bruising on it tomorrow. Then, he turned his attention back to the guy who had been harassing you and his two friends. "You, come with me. Unless one of your buddies wants to cop to being the one who did the harassing?"

The two other guys held up their hands in a sign of surrender and backed up.

"What?" the guy yelled. "I need medical attention! I probably need stitches!"

"And we can have someone do that for you, but you need to come with us." He pulled out a pair of zip ties and got them on the guy's wrist...not without him giving the security guards some difficulty, though. He turned his attention back to you and your brothers. "I take it back, Detective, you're not banned."

Jay gave him a curt nod of thanks.

"What?" the guy yelled as the security guard started walking, taking the creeper away from you and your brothers.

"Keep it moving, buddy. Keep it moving."

"Let's get outta here," Will suggested.

You and Jay agreed, and then the three of you went to grab your stuff from where it previously was at the beach.

***

You had ridden back home with Will instead of Jay since he needed some time to cool off...and call Voight to make sure that the asshole actually got some jail time or something. Basically, Jay needed Voight to make sure that the beach security was actually doing their job.

The two of you made your way into the apartment (Jay had given Will a key and Will had given Jay a key to his apartment also. You didn't bring your key because you thought you'd be riding home with Jay, but then everything popped off.). Then, Will immediately went into doctor mode.

"Go change into some clothes and then I'm gonna take a look at that wrist," he told you.

You nodded and quickly changed into a pair of comfy shorts and a t-shirt. Then, you made your way to the kitchen table where Will was waiting expectantly. You sat down a sighed.

"You okay?" Will asked as he stopped unzipping his medical bag that he always kept in his car in case of emergencies and gave you his full attention.

"That was terrifying. I just, I never would've thought that would happen."

"And it shouldn't have happened. You're fourteen; you're just a kid. It shouldn't happen to an adult, much less a kid." You nodded. "Can I see your wrist?"

You held it out to him and he gently pressed on it and began to inspect it. "You know," you started, "I thought you'd be patching up Jay. Turns out that ass- that guy's friends didn't want to get involved."

"I wouldn't either," Will agreed. "There's no way I'd want to be one the receiving end of a fistfight with Jay. And, for the record, that guy was an asshole." Then, he started talking about the subject at hand. "Well, good news is that it isn't broken...but we already knew that. Bad news is that there will be some slight bruising, so we need to ice it."

"Okay."

Will got up to get some ice from the freezer when Jay walked in...holding a bag of groceries.

"What's that?" you asked.

"Well, I figured we'd get ice cream after the beach, but since that didn't happen, I decided to pick some up." He set the bag of groceries on the table in front of you and started taking out pints of ice cream. "Superman for Will, Neopolitan for me, and cookies n creme for you."

Your eyes went wide as you saw the ice cream and quickly snatched up your pint. Jay laughed at your excitement.

"Still can't believe that Will's favorite is Superman," you mused.

"He's like a kid in an adult's body," Jay agreed.

"I heard that!" Will yelled and then came back with an ice pack and three spoons. "What can I say, I'm a sugar aficionado. Now, what movie are we watching?"

The three of you made your way over to the couch with your spoons and ice cream, you with your ice pack as well, and started to try and agree on a movie.

Sometimes, you hated that Jay was so vigilant and that Will always had to take a look at something as small as a scrape, but today, those two things definitely came in handy. And, you couldn't be more thankful.

***

Migraine (age 16)

Oh here we go again, you thought as you sat in your American history class and felt the pounding in your head coming on. You had had a slight headache this morning but had a feeling it was going to turn into something more since all of your headaches lately have been turning into migraines almost every other day for the past week. For a few weeks, you'd been having headaches and they started out not too bad, a small dose of Tylenol would fix them. You assumed they were just stress headaches from school. But, then they started making the sides of your head pound and making you sensitive to light or nauseous. And right now, you felt a really bad one coming on.

Forty-five minutes later, you had gotten out of your history class and were on your way to biology. But, you were in the midst of the worst migraine of your life. Your head was pounding, everyone seemed to be talking right in your ear, and the lights were way too bright even when you squinted.

You had to go home. You couldn't stay at school any longer.

So, you went to the office and explained this and then called Jay.

"Hello? Y/N, aren't you supposed to be in class?" he asked when he answered.

"My head hurts really bad, Jay. Please, can you come pick me up?" you asked.

"I can have someone drop off some Tylenol," he suggested.

"No," you whined. "It hurts so bad. The light hurts my head and people talking hurts my head. Please, Jay."

You were practically pleading and even though Jay knew that you had a geometry test today, he agreed.

"Okay, I'll email your math teacher about the test."

"Oh. I forgot about that." You hissed as the late bell rang, causing your head to pound even more for those few seconds.

"That bad, huh?" Jay asked, having heard the bell chime on his end of the phone.

"Uh-huh. But, I can't drive home."

"Okay, and I can't pick you because I'm meeting with a CI. You okay if Adam picks you up and brings you back to the district? Then, me and someone else can go pick up your car from school later?"

"Okay. Why can't I just go home?"

"Because, if you're feeling as crappy as you say you are, then I'd prefer that someone has eyes on you. I'll see you in a bit."

"Okay, bye Jay."

Then, you hung up, told the secretary you'd be leaving so that she could send an email to your teachers, grabbed your stuff from your locker, and came back to the office to wait for Adam.

***

Twenty minutes later, Adam walked into the office.

"Hey, kiddo. I'm gonna sign you out and then we'll get you out of here, okay?" You had balled up your sweatshirt and were using it as a pillow and had your eyes closed. But, you cracked them open and nodded. Adam knew this definitely wasn't you lying to get out of a test because usually, you'd tell him not to call you kiddo, seeing as you were sixteen.

Adm showed his ID to the secretary and then he signed you out. You stood up and your head started pounding even more due to the sudden change in posture.

"Here, I can take your bag," Adam offered and you handed him your backpack.

"Thanks," you said quietly.

Then, you made your way to Adam's Jeep and got in the backseat. Not even two minutes into the trip to the district, you knew you couldn't take the music that was playing from the radio...even though you knew it was lower than he normally played it.

"Adam?" you asked, your head now resting on your balled-up sweatshirt as you tried your best to lay down while still buckled up in the backseat.

"Yeah?"

"Can you turn off the music? It really hurts my head."

"Of course." Then, he quickly turned off the radio and the two of you rode in silence the rest of the way to the district.

Adam would be lying if he said he wasn't worried about you.

***

"Mini Halstead! What's--" Trudy Platt exclaimed when you and Adam walked into the district, but Adam quickly placed a finger to his lips as you whimpered at the loudness of her voice. "Sorry," she whispered. "You hungry?"

You shook your head. "Thanks, though."

The desk sergeant nodded. "Let me know if she needs anything," she directed to Adam.

"Will do, Sarge."

Then, the two of you made your way up the stairs and into Intelligence, not without the buzzer on the gate causing you to hiss at the pain it caused in your temples.

"Mini Halstead!" Kevin exclaimed, but Adam quickly put a finger to his lips as you whimpered at his loud voice.

Jay quickly made his way over to you. "Let's go into the break room, okay?" You nodded. Jay turned to Adam. "I can take her bag."

Jay took your backpack from Adam and then the two of you went into the break room.

"There's some Tylenol and water on the table for you," Jay said, fully expecting you to walk over and get it. But, instead, you just plopped yourself down on the couch. "Or, I can bring it to you."

He gave you the water and the two pills and you took them.

"Have you eaten anything since breakfast?" he asked.

You shook your head. "Hurts to chew."

"Okay." Jay paused for a moment. "I think I have a banana I brought with me in case I got hungry. Is that soft enough for you to chew? I want you to eat something."

"I guess," you mumbled as you laid down on the couch. "Just wanna sleep."

"I know, but I wanna get some calories in you before you do that. Can you just stay awake for like five more minutes?" You nodded. "Okay, I'll be right back."

Jay came back two minutes later with a banana and a blanket.

"Where'd you get the blanket?" you asked.

"I keep it in my truck for late-night stakeouts. Here." He handed you the banana and then set the blanket next to you. "I don't have a pillow, so your sweatshirt will have to do. You all set?"

"Yeah, gonna eat this and take a nap."

"Okay, I'll make sure Voight doesn't yell too much. This door's pretty much soundproof though, so you should be fine. Come get me if you need anything."

"Okay."

Then, you ate the banana, folded up your hoodie and put it under your head, and pulled the blanket over you, quickly falling asleep.

***

You woke up two hours later feeling too warm. Your migraine had subsided into just a headache...but you knew in a couple of hours, the migraine would probably be back after the Tylenol had worn off. And, it was still a decently bad headache, just without the light hurting your eyes as much.

But then, you had an idea.

Sometimes at home when you had headaches, you'd lay your head on the tiled floor of the bathroom because it was cold. Cold surfaces always seemed to help.

So, you looked out into the bullpen to see if anyone was there.

No one.

You picked up your phone to see a text from Jay saying that they had gone on a raid and would be back soon and that if you needed anything, to let Trudy know. He also said that he had let Will know what was going on and that he'd be at the apartment later tonight to check up on you.

You wrapped the blanket around you and then made your way out of the bullpen and into an empty interrogation room.

You sat down in the cold metal chair and held your blanket tighter around your body. Then, you laid your head on the cold metal table and relished the feeling of coolness on your head.

Yeah, this will help.

***

"I didn't do it! I swear!" a drug dealer that Trudy was holding by the arm defended himself while Trudy led him to an interrogation room.

"Not that I don't believe you," she started, "but I've heard that one before."

She walked into the interrogation room and her eyes went wide when she saw you lying with your head on the table, asleep.

"What's a kid doing in here? I don't know her!"

"Shut up," Trudy told him. "Come on."

Then, she pulled him towards the next interrogation room.

"Some officers will be in here soon to have a chat with you. Feel free to make yourself comfortable."

Then, Trudy left the room and closed the door, and made her way into the interrogation room where you were currently sleeping.

She knelt down beside you. "Y/N," she whispered. You didn't stir. She placed a hand on your shoulder. "Kid, wake up."

"Hmmm, no," you said, not even lifting your head up. "Wanna go home. Cold feels good on my  head."

Then, Trudy heard the buzzer to Intelligence go off. "I'll be back," she told you.

"Uh-huh," you said, closing your eyes once again.

Trudy walked into Intelligence and immediately set her sights on Jay.

"Halstead," she barked.

Jay quickly turned his head. "What can I do for you, Sarge?"

"You can explain to me why that sister of yours is currently taking a nap in one of my interrogation rooms because she says the cold feels good on her head and then get her out of there," she told him.

"What?" he asked, more confused than ever.

"Y/N's napping at the table in an interrogation room. I need you to get her out of there. I almost put a dealer in there."

"Why's she in there?"

"Like I just told you: she said the cold feels good on her head. But I need you to get her out of there. Now."

"Copy you, Sarge."

"Good choice, Chuckles, good choice."

Then, Jay made his way to the interrogation room that Trudy told him that you were in.

He squatted down next to you. "Y/N," he whispered.

"Feels good. Leave," you mumbled.

"You know I can't let you stay in here. We gotta get you back out into the break room. It's not safe for you in here."

"Don't care."

Jay huffed. "I know you don't, but I do."

You opened your eyes to see that Jay had turned the lights on all the way...compared to how dim you had them before.

Fuck, it had been a few hours since you had taken the Tylenol and it was wearing off.

You closed your eyes again.

"Y/N," Jay warned.

"Light hurts."

Jay sighed. "Okay, I'll dim the lights and I'll be right back."

Jay dimmed the lights and walked out of the interrogation room and into the bullpen once more.

"Why's she not out yet?" Voight asked.

Jay rummaged around in his desk while he answered. "She said the light hurts her eyes, so I'm giving her these to wear." He held up a pair of sunglasses.

"Huh." Voight paused. "Take her home, Jay. You're done for the day. I don't expect to see you back here until Monday."

"Sarge, all due respect, but it's Wednesday and we're in the middle of a case."

"We'll be fine for one half-finished case without you, Jay. Y/N's family. Take care of her. Just think of it as of tomorrow, you get to have a four-day weekend."

"Can I get one of those four-day weekends?" Adam asked.

"No," Voight answered without skipping a beat. "Go take care of your sister, Halstead."

Jay nodded and then grabbed your backpack from the break room and then returned to his desk for his keys and jacket and then went back to the interrogation room.

"Y/N, we're gonna go home now," he whispered when he walked into the room.

"Yay," you said in a monotone voice and slowly lifted your head up and then rubbed your hands down your face.

"Put these on. They should help with the light."

You took the sunglasses from him and put them on. Then, you two slowly walked out of the room and outside of the district to his truck.

***

"So she's sensitive to light and sound?" Will asked Jay over the phone once Will had gotten off shift and realized his brother had called him concerning your headache.

"Yeah, pretty sure it's a migraine," Jay confirmed.

"She mention anything about nausea?"

"When we were driving home she did."

"Could also be that she started getting motion sick if it only happened in the car. I'll stop over and take a look. She eaten anything?"

"Just breakfast and a banana."

"Jesus, man. It's past five o'clock. She needs more than that!"

"I know, but she said it hurts to chew, so I didn't want to force her."

"Okay, I get it then. I'll pick up some food on my way. I'll get Panera Bread so I can get her some soup. Text me what you want."

"Okay, thanks, man. And Y/N likes--"

"--the cheese broccoli soup. I know, Jay, I know."

"Just checking."

Then, Jay hung up and started to look at the menu and then texted Will what he wanted. Now he just had to wait for Will to come over and hopefully fix you. Because Jay would be lying if he said he wasn't worried about you.

***

"Thanks for coming, man," Jay said as he opened the door. "God, she's making me really worried."

"Whoa, it must be bad if you're admitting you're worried," Will joked and then set the bag of food on the counter.

"Dude, she was napping in an interrogation room because she said the table was cold and it felt good on her head! Damn right I'm worried!"

"Okay, just...get the food out and I'll go check her out. Hopefully, I can figure out what's making her get all these headaches. She mention headaches before now?"

"Yeah, for about the past week, week and a half. But, they've never been this bad. And, if they were, she hasn't told me."

"Okay, thanks. I'll see if she'll tell me more. She's gonna be okay."

Jay nodded and then Will made his way to your bedroom.

He opened the door to see that you were sound asleep with your blinds closed all the way. You had your fan on and had earplugs in, so he assumed that just wanted the fan on for the cool air and not the noise...and the noise was the reason you usually wanted it on.

Gently, Will touched your shoulder.

"Go away, Jay," you mumbled and rolled over to face the wall.

"It's not Jay, it's--" Will sighed when he realized you wouldn't be able to hear him because of the earplugs you had in. So, he settled on shaking your shoulder until you opened your eyes and realized it was him and not Jay.

You took out the earplugs.

"Can you fix it?" you asked. Then, you whimpered. "It hurts so bad."

Your lip started to tremble. You didn't want to cry because you knew it would make your migraine worse, but you couldn't stop the tears; you were so sick of these damn headaches and this migraine.

"When did they start?" Will asked and turned off the fan.

"Three weeks ago," you answered.

"Jay said only a week and a half."

"I didn't tell him. I thought they were from school stress, but they won't go away. Make it stop! Please! I can't- I can't even think straight anymore, Will."

You put your head in your hands and rubbed your temples.

"Have you been eating a lot of different foods? Getting too little sleep? Drinking too much caffeine? Weird periods?"

"No, none of that." You wanted to tell him that it was weird having him ask you about your period, but your head hurt so bad that you refrained.

"Okay, well, I think Jay's got the food ready, so do you think you can manage some cheese broccoli soup from Panera?"

You shrugged. "Maybe a little."

"That's good enough for me. C'mon."

You grabbed a pair of sunglasses from your bedside table next to you and then followed Will out into the hallway and then put the sunglasses on.

"How you doing?" Jay asked as he finished pouring everyone water.

You shrugged. "Still hurts."

"I'm sorry, but the bottle says you can't have anymore Tylenol yet."

You nodded and sat down and slowly started to eat your soup, sunglasses still on.

You started to eat and then realized your soup was kind of cold. You stood up.

"Soup cold?" Jay asked.

You nodded and put it in the microwave.

Then, something clicked in Will's head.

Cold.

Temperature.

"Barometric pressure," Will muttered. Then he looked up, a smile starting to spread across his face. "Barometric pressure," he repeated, this time louder.

"Bara-what-now?" Jay asked.

"It's essentially the air pressure when the weather changes," he explained. "Remember when Y/N was in elementary school and would have really bad allergies in the fall?"

"Yeah," Jay said. "What's this got to do with migraines?"

"Migraines start around adolescence and since she had allergies in the fall before, I'm fairly certain that this is why she's getting them."

"You know why?" you asked as you sat back down, your soup now warm. "Can you make them stop?"

"I think I do. But, we'd have to get you checked out tomorrow."

"Okay. Thank you. Get me an appointment."

A few days later, after lots of naps, soup, and tv when your headache/migraine decided to subside, you were put on corticosteroids for what were called "cluster headaches" in the medical field. You're only supposed to be on them for about two weeks and then you'd have to be reassessed. But, for now, your migraines had subsided and you could finally, finally think clearly.

***

Sorry About your Truck (age 18)

You didn't know what was happening. One second you were driving on the circle of the on-ramp to the highway, and the next, you fishtailed to the right. You spun your wheel to the left, maybe slammed on the brakes (which you knew you weren't supposed to do), and then slid to the right again. It all happened so fast that you didn't even know how it happened.

But, you knew how you got in this position.

"Fuck," you muttered as you put your hand up to the vent in your car the day before you left for school. Even though it was set to defrost, you still should've been able to feel some heat coming out. But you felt nothing. Well, nothing but cold air.

You trudged back inside to see Jay putting on his jacket.

"I think my heat in my car's broken," you said.

Jay looked at you and raised his eyebrows. "You probably just didn't turn it on."

"Yes, I did. And I double-checked. Come see."

So, Jay walked out to your car. And sure enough, your heat was broken.

"I'll drop you off at school and then we'll bring the car to the shop tonight. C'mon," Jay told you.

"I have to work tomorrow until 11," you said. "How am I supposed to go to work?"

Jay sighed. "I'll figure it out."

Because, he knew for a fact he couldn't let you drive without heat...not in these Chicago winters.

***

"Jay, man, you gotta go to sleep," Will told his younger brother.

"Dude, it's getting icy out!" Jay argued over the phone. "I'm staying awake until she gets home!"

Will sighed. "Fine. I know there's no changing your mind."

"Thank you. Now, I'm gonna see if I can find a hockey game happening on the west coast and watch that. I'll text you when she gets home."

"I don't need you to do that, but if it makes you feel better, feel free. God, you need to make your cop instincts chill for once."

***

You screamed. You didn't know what to do. One second you swerved to the left and then you swerved to the right. You tried to correct yourself again and get back on the road, but it wasn't working...not like it worked last time when you tried to go back the opposite way anyway. But, now, oh now you were more terrified than before...if that was even possible.

You felt hot tears sting your eyes as you heard the sounds of metal ripping through metal. Then, you felt yourself tumbling. You didn't know if you were screaming at this point, but you felt your knee jam into the dashboard and the next thing you knew, you were upside down with only your seatbelt keeping you in place and the broken glass from the windows had left a smattering of cuts along your body, with the deepest one being on your forehead.

You kept flailing your arms, trying to do something, anything to get you out. And then you heard the sound of sirens and the snow around you started turning blue.

Great...you had found the button to turn on Jay's sirens. Just great.

"Help!" you yelled.

You hoped that someone would call 911....but according to these sirens, you were 911.

***

"Squad 3, Ambulance 61, Truck 81, Engine 51, Battalion 25. Single vehicle car accident. Person trapped."

"Single vehicle?" Casey asked. "Why do they need all of us?"

"Beats me," Severide said. "But we're about to find out."

***

"A cop car?" Kelly asked as he furrowed his eyebrows on the way to the scene.

"Guess so, Lieutenant," Cruz said. "Looks like an undercover car to me, too."

As they got closer, Kelly noticed something. He knew that truck.

"Casey," he said into his radio, "that look like Jay Halstead's truck to you?"

Casey tilted his head. "You know, it actually does. Dispatch," he started, "this is Truck 81 to Main, can you get in contact with the 21st District and see if Jay Halstead is on duty tonight and then get back to us?"

"Copy that Truck 81."

They all pulled up to the scene and Boden started directing everyone.

"Squad, we need to get that victim out. Truck, help Squad with figuring out how to get the victim out. Chances are we'll have to cut the car and need all hands on deck. Engine, I need you on standby in case there's a gas leak and a fire starts. Sixty-One, do all you can."

They all said their "copy that's" in some form or another and then Casey, Stella, and all of Squad 3 went over to look at the truck.

"Help!" you yelled. "Somebody help me, please!" At this point, the blood from your forehead was dripping all over the roof of the truck. At least, since you were upside down, the blood wasn't going into your eyes. But, tears were rolling down your cheeks. You were terrified and your knee was in so much pain from being crushed up against the dash and your head was starting to burn where you had been cut by the glass.

"Main to Truck 81, Jay Halstead is not on duty tonight according to the 21st."

"It's not Halstead!" Casey yelled. "He's not on duty!"

They all raced up to the truck.

"I'm gonna climb up to the window and see how the victim's doing. I'll tell you what we need from there," Kelly said.

Then, with the help of Cruz and Capp, he got on top of the rolled-over vehicle.

"Help! Please help me!" you yelled.

"We're gonna get you out, don't worry!" Kelly yelled once he was close enough that he knew you'd be able to hear him.

You knew that voice.

Kelly looked down into the truck to see you straining your neck to look out the broken window and up to him.

"Don't move!" he ordered. He had no idea whether or not you had sustained injuries to your spinal cord.

"O- Okay," you whimpered. "I'm scared, Kelly."

"I know, I know. But we're gonna get you out of here. It'll all be okay." He turned his head so that it was back facing Squad, Casey, and Stella. "Casey!" he yelled. "I need you to tell Boden to get in touch with one of the Halsteads! It's Y/N!"

***

"Hello?" Jay asked sleepily into his phone. He had finally taken Will's advice and had tried to go to sleep...with a Vegas Golden Knights vs. Colorado Avalanche game playing in the background since that was the NHL game that was happening on the west coast right now.

"Halstead, it's Wallace Boden. Are you aware that your sister was driving your truck?"

At this, Jay sat up straight, sleep be damned. "She was. Why? What happened? Is she okay?"

He stood up and started pacing the room.

"Jay, I'm going to tell you the location and I need you to call Will and you both need to get here ASAP."

"Chief, all due respect, but you need to tell me what's going on."

"Y/N's been in a car accident. It's a roll-over crash. She's currently stuck in the car but conscious."

Everything Jay learned about bad news from your mom and dad passing, to his time in the military, to him being a cop flew out the window in that very moment.

"She's been in a crash? Can they get her out? Tell me they're gonna get her out, Chief! They have to!"

"Jay, my men are doing everything they can. But right now, you need to call your brother and you need to get to this location as fast as possible."

"Okay, yeah, yeah. I can do that."

Then, Jay quickly hung up.

After calling Will four times in a row, he finally picked up.

"Dude, I'm about to be in surgery, what's--"

"Y/N's been in a car accident. We need to go there now."

Will almost dropped his phone.

"What? How? When?"

"I don't know, all I know is that Boden called me and told me to get to the scene ASAP. I'll pick you up on  the way."

Then, without waiting for Will's response, Jay hung up the phone and dialed a number he never thought he'd be calling off duty: his new partner, Hailey Upton.

"Hailey, it's Jay. I need a favor."

***

"Capp!" Kelly yelled. "We need to cut through the seat to get it off from the floor because that's currently the ceiling! Squad and 81, we need to cut the back of the truck so we can get her out of here! 51, figure out how to kill these sirens! And, Brett, I need you to come up here and take a look so you can tell me the best way to get her out of here!"

Sylvie Brett started sprinting over to the truck with her jump bag and then Casey and Cruz helped her onto the truck and Kelly gave her his hand to make sure she got all the way up there safely.

"Y/N, I'm Sylvie. Do you remember me?" she asked calmly.

"Uh-huh," you answered, trying your best not to move your head like had Kelly told you.

"I bet your leg hurts really bad, huh?"

"Not, not really," you answered.

Sylvie and Kelly shared a look. They knew what this was: you were going into shock.

"Hand me that flashlight," Sylvie said to Kelly. He handed it to her. "Yeah, she's tensing her leg muscles, which is probably why she can't feel it. She's still having an adrenaline rush since she seems to unconsciously tensing them. We'll still give her pain meds as soon as we can because when the pain wears off, it's gonna hurt.

"For now, I need to get a C-collar on her and when she gets out, I need her on a backboard and I need that leg in a splint. Try your best not to do any sudden movements that can hurt her leg even more than it already is. By the looks of it, I'm assuming she shattered her knee cap."

"Got the bolt cutters, Severide!" Capp yelled.

"Got the saw, too!" Casey yelled. "I think we should start by cutting the end of the truck, sound good?"

"Yeah, that works!" He took off his turnout coat and handed it to Brett. "Get in there, get a C-collar on her, and cover her with this while we cut the end of the truck. Close your eyes and cover your head with your jacket. Yell to me when you're ready."

"Why aren't you going in there?" Sylvie asked as she positioned herself to jump through the window and down into the truck.

"I don't think I could fit through that window."

"You never know," Sylvie said and then slipped down and into the truck.

"They're gonna cut it?" you asked frantically. "But what if they hurt me?"

"Y/N, it's okay. They won't hurt you. They're professionals. They've done this hundreds of times. But, I need you to stay calm for me. I'm gonna put this C-collar around your neck and cover you with this coat so that debris doesn't get in your eyes." She didn't mention the cut on your forehead and at the moment, she hoped you weren't feeling it.

Sylvie got the C-collar around your neck to stabilize it and then she put the turnout coat over you and pulled hers over her head. "Ready!" she yelled to Kelly.

You started hearing the sound of metal being cut. You could feel your heart pounding out of your chest, but at the same time, you couldn't feel anything at all.

***

"There it is!" Jay pointed from the passenger seat of Hailey's car. The hospital had been on their way to the scene, so they grabbed Will on the way. Jay was thankful because he knew that the hospital would be close if you needed to go there.

Will was practically standing up in the backseat so that he could jump out of the car as quickly as possible. He needed to make sure you were okay.

Hailey had barely put the car in park when both Halsteads jumped out.

"Chief!" Jay yelled. "Where is she?"

"She's still in the car. They're trying--"

"They're trying?" Jay yelled angrily, cutting Chief Boden off. "If she's not out yet and it's been this long then they sure as hell aren't trying! I swear to God if--"

"Jay!" Will yelled and stepped in front of him and gave him a shove to push him away from Boden. "You need to calm down!"

"Calm down? Don't tell me to fucking calm down! Our sister's in a roll-over crash and you're telling me to calm down?"

"I understand you're upset," Boden started, "but you two shouldn't even be here right now. And, if you don't want to be pushed back behind the yellow tape, I suggest you calm down."

Jay glared at Boden but kept his mouth shut.

Jay started walking away and then locked eyes with Stella. He picked up his pace. Will tried to pull him back because he had a feeling he knew what he was going to do, but he was too late.

"Stella!" he yelled. "What's happening? You gotta tell me what's going on in there. Please."

Stella sighed. She knew she shouldn't be doing this. But, she knew if it was anyone in her family, hell if it was Kelly or anyone else in Firehouse 51, she'd want to know what was going on, too.

"She's upside down, hanging from her seat. Her knee's jammed up against the dash. She's still conscious, but they have to get her out."

There was a loud creaking sound that caused everyone to turn their attention back to the scene.

They had sawed through the back half of the truck and were now going in.

"Casey, Kelly," Stella said into her radio, "can I get an update on the situation? Jay and Will are here and they just want to know."

"We just gotta get the chair down, Kidd," Casey's voice came from her radio. "She's still conscious. She's scared, but she should get out fine."

Jay looked up at the sky while Will sighed in relief.

You'd be getting out of there just fine.

***

The next few hours were a blur of you getting out of the truck and being taken by ambulance to Chicago Med (Will rode with you because of Jay's fear of needles), and you being in knee surgery.

Jay and Will had to wait outside while you were in surgery. And they were beside themselves.

"God, I shouldn't have let her take my truck," Jay vented as he was pacing the waiting area with his hands on his head.

"You couldn't have known it was gonna snow like this. It wasn't supposed to snow like this," Will comforted.

"How do you do it?" Jay asked.

Will furrowed his eyebrows. "Do what?"

"Stay so calm? Like, when we were at the scene, you were so calm when I was absolutely losing it."

"I don't know, I really don't. Maybe I realized that being pissed wasn't going to help anyone. But, when I heard Stella and Casey tell us what was going on, I knew she was going to be okay. There were no injuries to the abdomen, chest, or head--well, except for that laceration on her forehead--and she was conscious. I just knew."

"So you're telling me, you thought logically with medical knowledge?" Jay asked. He had absolutely no idea such a sophisticated sentence would ever make its way out of his mouth, but hey, there was a time and place for everything.

"That and I knew you'd be pissed, so I knew I'd have to at least be calm enough to calm you down...or hold you back."

"There it is."

***

You woke up an hour later. You blinked, trying to remember what happened, and then it all came rushing back. The fishtailing...the screaming...Kelly talking to you...the sound of metal being cut...

You took a deep breath.

This alerted your brothers that you were awake.

"Hey, how was being under?" Will asked jokingly. You had always asked what it felt like to be under anesthesia and Will said he couldn't really explain it; he said you'd just have to find out some time.

"It was a nice nap," you answered.

Will laughed. "I bet it was. Feeling better?"

"Tired," you yawned.

"Well, it is just past four in the morning, so that makes sense."

You looked at Jay. "I'm sorry about your truck. I was just going down the exit ramp and it happened so fast and--"

"Hey, hey," Jay said quickly and stood up. "It's okay. It's just a truck, it's replaceable; you, kiddo, are not."

Will smiled. "Borrowing a line from Mom's book when we both inevitably got in our first car accidents, I see."

Your finger started to move toward the stitches on your forehead.

"No, no, no," Will said quickly. "Don't touch them!"

You kept running your finger over them. "But they feel funny."

"That's because you haven't gotten them before. They'll feel even funnier if you pop one and me or someone else has to redo them."

Your stomach grumbled.

"Okay, what do you want to eat?" Will asked. He handed you a cup of water, too because he figured that if you were hungry, that you'd be thirsty as well.

You took a few sips and then answered. "Olive Garden."

Jay laughed. "Olive Garden isn't open at four am."

You pursed your lips to the side, thinking about what you wanted. "Pizza."

"I'll go have someone grab you some," Will said.

"Maybe send Adam because he can just call the cafeteria lady darlin' and then just like that,--" Jay snapped his fingers---, "she'll get an extra piece for free," Jay suggested.

"Adam's here?" you asked.

"Everyone's here," Jay answered. "They all wanted to make sure that you were okay...and the 21st also got called to see if I was on duty since it was my truck."

"If it makes you guys feel any better, I don't think I'll be driving for a while."

"That's okay. Voight gave me a few weeks off to look after you while you're recovering and I think Goodwin's letting Will cut down his hours."

"What he means Y/N, is that you'll be stuck with us telling you not to try to walk for a few weeks," Will said.

"Uh," you groaned.

Will and Jay both laughed. "I'm gonna go see if Adam can get you that pizza," Will said. He was almost out the door when he added, "you better not touch your stitches while I'm gone."

The next few weeks was a blur of doing all your schoolwork at home--and a lot of times, from the couch--, Jay and Will scolding you if you so much as tried to bend your leg, lots of movies and tv shows (and Jay and Will always let you pick because you couldn't really do much while you were laid up at home), and convincing Jay to buy you lots of Oreos and cheddar popcorn. And if he didn't...well, you'd just text Will (luckily you had insurance on your phone and could get a new one without paying a lot after the crash) and he'd bring you your Oreos and cheddar popcorn. After the first two weeks, Jay just had to live with the fact that he was outnumbered when it came to you and your favorite snacks.

***

Rough Shift (age 21)

Trigger warning for mentions of suicidal ideation!

You sat at Molly's finishing up your second pomegranate martini...and it was only 6 pm. You waved Stella over to have her make you another one.

"Y/N, I know you drove here. I can't in good conscience give you another drink. Hell, I didn't even want to give you the last one! But, I can get you a pop if you want? Or lemonade?"

"Stella," you whined. "I just want another drink. It's been a really rough day at work. Please, just make me another one."

"You know I can't do that. What happened at work? Maybe it'll help to talk about it. We've all had rough shifts before and talking about it or crying it out usually helps."

"I can't really cry it out right in the middle of a bar." You took a shaky breath. "Even though, I really wish I could." Tears started to sting your eyes. You couldn't cry. Not here. "I think I'm gonna go have that cry." You set some money on the bar. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it. And hey, if you ever need someone to talk to, Y/N, I'm your girl."

"Thanks, Stella."

Then, you left Molly's. But, you didn't go straight home. You decided to go to the store instead. And all you bought there was a bottle of peach Moscato.

Time to get buzzed enough to forget for the time being.

***

When you got home, you popped some food in the microwave since you hadn't eaten since basically breakfast save for some beef jerky and an apple, and unscrewed the cap to the wine you had just bought. Normally, you wouldn't buy a ton of alcohol for yourself because you'd just take Jay or Hailey's drinks if she brought any over (yes, you still lived with Jay because college is ridiculously expensive and you were trying to get out of school with as little debt as possible...if any), but those two were on a camping trip on Lake Michigan for the weekend. You were supposed to go, but then you had to work. So, Will ended up going instead. He said maybe he'd meet a girl up there and you just laughed.

You took a few sips of your wine and then realized that maybe you should call your brothers. You knew this wasn't healthy and you felt like everything was coming down on you at once: the stories you heard at work, being in the hospital, currently just being physically and emotionally exhausted and hungry.

So, you dialed Jay's number.

"Hey, Y/N, what's up?" he asked. He put the phone on speaker so he could finish adding wood to the campfire he was building for him, Hailey, and Will to roast hot dogs over.

"It's just, it's been a really bad day," you said, your voice cracking.

Will was near him and he looked at Jay worriedly.

"Why's that?" Jay asked.

"I- I had to go the hospital with a girl because she- because she said she was going to kill herself." Tears were currently rolling down your cheeks. You had kept it together all day and now you were crumbling.

Working in a group home you knew things like this were bound to happen, but you didn't know they'd happen in your first two months there. And, to make matters worse, you got the email when you were driving into work, so you really had no idea what was going on. When you got to work, you were told you had to go to Lakeshore Memorial Hospital because a girl was saying she was going to kill herself the night before. And, you didn't have the staff to get her back inside safely, so, as is protocol, the shift lead the shift before yours had to call emergency services to take her to the hospital. You didn't know about any of this until you got to work when you were debriefed and then told you'd have to go to the hospital.

God, you knew this happened but nothing prepared you for sitting in that dark room with her all shift, the monitors beeping, telling you that she was still alive. You had done some homework and you had talked with her, gotten more information about why she did it. You had read her file, but she really seemed to open up to you and told you more. And, what broke your heart the most was that, since she was in a group home, she had no family. So, you did your best to sit with her the entire shift, only leaving to go to the bathroom, get some water, or make a phone call to your shift lead. Because, even if you were doing homework and she was sleeping or just sitting in silence, you knew it helped to have someone there with you. And, you knew if it was you in that position, you'd want someone to be there with you.

"Are you okay?" Jay asked, breaking you out of your thoughts.

"No," you admitted. "I don't want to be alone."

Jay sighed. There was nothing he could really do for you at this point. "Y/N--"

"I'll grab my stuff and I'll be there in an hour and half, Y/N," Will interjected.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to leave. I don't want to be alone, but I don't want you wasting your weekend off--"

"Y/N," Will began, "it's fine. I'll see you soon."

***

Will walked inside carrying a bag of McDonald's.

He walked into the living room to see you sipping wine out of the bottle. You weren't even halfway through it yet. You were just a little buzzed because you had drank the martinis a couple of hours ago. So, now you needed to get more buzzed to forget about your horrible shift. Normally you never did this: drink to forget. But today, well today, you deemed it warranted.

"Y/N, at least pour it in a glass," Will sighed and then sat down next to you and set the bag of food on the coffee table in front of you.

"Why's it matter? I'm the only one who drinks Moscato; you and Jay say it's too sweet."

"Yeah, but I don't want you to drink too much."

"But I just wanna forget what happened, Will," you said as you turned to face him. You started to cry. "She's just a kid. She shouldn't be going through this. Hell, she shouldn't have gone through what happened to her in her past! She didn't deserve it!"

Will wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a hug while you cried. He knew because of confidentiality reasons that you couldn't tell him any more than you had just told him and what you mentioned on the phone.

"I know, I know," he soothed.

"I know she didn't- she didn't die," you cried. "But, God, it feels like I got my first death."

"And, crying about it is nothing to be ashamed of," Will said. "When I had my first patient death, I went home and did exactly what you did: cried and drank until I couldn't think straight, much less think about what happened at work."

You pulled away. You didn't think Will ever cried over something that happened at work. "You did?"

"Hand to God, I did."

"How do you cope with this stuff all the time?"

"You do the best you can with the knowledge you have. You talk to somebody about how you're feeling and you don't drown yourself in drinking, drugs, or sex." He moved your bottle of wine. "You cope in healthy ways. And, sooner or later, you realize that you can't save everybody. And, that you can't change the past.

"You can't change what happened in this girl's past to make her end up in a group home or have these intrusive thoughts, but you can help change her future by being there for her and listening to her, and helping her get to a better place."

"That's what I want to do."

"Good, then you're in the right place to do that. You just have to focus on your wins and not your losses."

You pulled away and wiped your hands across your face to get rid of the tears. "Thank you for coming home. I, uh, I really needed that."

Will nodded. "You're welcome. I wished someone would've told me that earlier in medical school and I didn't want you to feel like I felt."

"Is that why you decided to come home and not Jay?"

"Part of the reason."

You raised an eyebrow. "And the other part?"

"I figured Jay and Hailey could use a night all to themselves."

"Gross!" You faked gagged and Will laughed.

"I don't know if you'll be able to eat now that I mentioned that, but how about we try and we can watch a funny movie?"

"I like that idea."

And, even though you really wanted to get buzzed to forget about the day you had, you knew it was better for you to talk about it with Will and eat takeout and watch a movie with him. And, you were pretty sure you felt better after that than you would if you drank an entire bottle of wine by yourself.

A/N: Thank you guys so much for reading! Sorry this one took so long, but I'm in school and working, so updates won't be as frequent as they were in the summer. And finally, please remember to like/reblog and comment! I love reading your comments! As always, if you want to be added to my taglist, just tell me and I’ll add you!

taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @onechicago18 @iamasimpingh0e @i-like-sparkly-things @herecomesthewriterwitch @liampayne88

[scuttling]

I said I love you, that's forever

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader Word Count: 5,619 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Dad Bod Hotch, Unprotected sex, Oral sex, Fingering, Reader gets drunk, Brief mention of canon-typical violence Summary: This one is sexy, sweet, and fluffy and features Aaron getting used to his new, healthier body. Inspired by @sleepyreaderreads and this ask. Collection: Just The Way You Are Series, Part 1 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 (Coming Soon!) Part 4 Link to A03 or read below! Being home when Aaron gets home is the best part of having a flexible work arrangement, you have to admit. You’ve been together for five years, but only living together for four months—for one reason or another, mainly his job, it took you a while to reach the cohabitation phase, but neither of you had minded much. You were always spending time together when he was free, and you enjoyed having your own space, so the arrangement worked out for the both of you.

Now, though, as he walks into your home office looking so handsome in a white shirt, black slacks, and burgundy tie, a soft smile on his face, you know without a doubt that you made the right choice by moving in with him. You wouldn’t give this up for anything.

“Hi. How was your day?” he asks, leaning over you for a kiss. He intends to make it quick, but you put your hands on his body, lengthen the kiss, hum against his lips.

“Hmm. It was good. Better now, though.” You hit the keys necessary to lock your desktop and stand, stretch to wrap your arms around his neck. “How was yours?”

“Not bad.” He says it casually, but you can see the stress in the lines around his eyes, his mouth, and you raise a brow in question. “The unit’s being audited. A percentage of our consultations need to be reviewed, updated psychological evaluations completed—on top of everything else, it’s a lot,” he admits with a sigh, and you nod your understanding, brush your fingers through his hair.

“I’ll call Elena and cancel dinner.” You’d planned weeks ago to go out with one of your friends for Indian food, to meet her new boyfriend, but Aaron is clearly having a rough week and it’s only Wednesday. A quiet night in may be just what he needs. “We’ll stay home, I’ll order takeout. We can relax.”

“No, no. I know you’ve been looking forward to this; it’s really alright.” You tilt your head, something of a frown, and he takes your face in his hands, kisses you twice on the mouth. “It’s alright. I want to go out. I want to take you out,” he says, voice low, pulling you in for a slower kiss, and you melt against him, slide your arms around his back instead, pull him closer.

“I want to keep you in,” you murmur when the kiss breaks, and he raises the corner of his mouth in a sexy smile, presses his lips to your nose.

“And miss meeting the one?” You both laugh lightly, because Elena finds the one every couple of months, but she’s a hopeless romantic, always means it at first. It’s endearing, especially when you and Aaron feel a little like an old married couple. “Let’s go out, have a good time. If we stay home, I’ll be tempted to work.” He takes a step back, lets you head out the door and down the hall to your bedroom, so you can get changed; he follows behind, sits down on the bed while you go through your closet.

“I’m sure I could find ways to tempt you not to work,” you say, pushing dresses down the rack until you find one you like: it’s an emerald green mid-length dress, with cap sleeves and a slit up the front, not too formal and not too sexy, perfect for the restaurant where you will be eating.

You pull your t-shirt over your head, bend to slide your leggings off, and Aaron makes a soft noise in the back of his throat.

“Consider me tempted.” You turn around, roll your eyes playfully, and put on the dress, sit down next to him to slip your feet into a pair of nude sandals; you lean in for a kiss, palm pressed to his chest, and it quickly becomes something deep, passionate. Aaron brings a hand to rest against your throat, and you have half a mind to take the dress back off and cancel those plans after all, but you know he wouldn’t let you do that anyway.

You pull back, bite your lip, and give him a very pointed once-over, then stand to finish getting ready. You can feel his eyes on you the entire time. “I’m just saying, he should be on the side of a tub of protein powder or something,” Aaron says later as he unlocks the front door, letting you step in before him. “His arms are bigger than his head.”

“He’s a personal trainer, baby. It’s his job to work out and look buff—he’s like a walking billboard for his business.” You slip your shoes off, hook the straps around your finger, and stroll toward the bedroom. “Elena really seemed to like him.”

“I give them three months.” He’s just a few feet behind you when you turn to shoot him a slightly admonishing look, even if he is probably right. “She seemed more focused on his twelve pack than anything else.”

You toss your phone onto the bed, remove your dress with a soft laugh. “Their relationship is still new; it’s all about the physical. You remember when we were like that, don’t you?” You aren’t exactly surprised when he comes up behind you and glides his hand across your bare stomach, when he brushes your hair away from your neck and kisses you there.

“We were never like that. It was never just physical for me,” he breathes into your ear, and you close your eyes, sink back against him, tilt your neck for more kisses. “I loved you before I loved you. I always just knew.”

“Fuck, Aaron,” you sigh, and you lay your arm along the one on your stomach, reach back with the other to press him closer to you. You lick your lips, turn your head so your face is near his, and he leans in to kiss you and slides his hand into your panties, rubs his fingers over your pussy.

You’re already a little wet from his hands on you, his mouth, but as always, he turns you on effortlessly; your face heats, your heart races, your breath quickens. Your pussy becomes almost unbearably slick, your moans against his lips gentle and pleading, and he removes his hand and slides your underwear down, guides you onto the bed.

You watch, panting, as he removes his tie, then takes off his belt, his pants; you can’t go without touching him for long, and you move to sit up so you can reach for him, pull him closer. You work at the buttons of his shirt from the bottom while he starts at the top, and you take it off together, then slip your hands into his boxers and push them down.

You immediately want to take him into your mouth, thick and hard as he is, and you slide your hands up his stomach, beneath his undershirt, in anticipation of that; you don’t get very far before he lays you back on the bed again, on your side this time. His forcefulness makes you ache to have him inside you, and he crowds in behind you, slides an arm beneath you and wraps his hand around you, over your breast, holding you tightly. You tip your head back, whimper, because he’s going to be so good to you as always and the waiting is almost too much to bear.

“You know I’ve got you,” he whispers, squeezing you, and you nod in response; he lifts your leg and hooks it back over his thigh, then pushes inside you, sinks fully into your wet heat. You exhale, a sigh of pleasure, and he mouths at your jaw, nibbles at your ear while he thrusts slowly but completely. “Hmm. This may not be new, but you’re always perfect for me. Doesn’t that feel so good?”

“So good, so good.” It’s difficult for you to really move in this position, though you rock your hips almost involuntarily into his thrusts, but he takes care of you, nips at the back of your neck, pounds inside you, brings you so close so quickly you almost forget to breathe. Your hands are on him anywhere you can reach, desperate for contact. “Aaron, mmm, god.”

“I know, baby.”

He puts his free hand behind your knee, bends your leg, folds it up by your chest so he can pump his cock faster, harder, and you feel surrounded by him—his hands on your body, his hot grunts of effort in your ear, the faint smell of cologne that lingers after a long day familiar to your nose. You're a little overwhelmed by it all, but pleasantly so, and when he comes you come, clenching tightly around him as he spills deep.

“Perfect,” he whispers tensely, nuzzling against your throat, and he slides out, brings your leg down, runs his hands tenderly over your body like you’re something delicate. “I love you.” You turn your head toward him, say it back, and he presses his palm to your cheek, treats you to a deep, wet kiss, then brushes his thumb over your lips. “Every time I kiss you, it feels like the first time.”

“For me too,” you say with a tired smile, running your fingers through his hair, and he kisses you again before patting your hip and telling you to go get cleaned up, that he’ll take care of the bedding. When you come back, he’s in his boxers and t-shirt, legs tucked under a fresh comforter, and you slide in next to him and curl up beneath his arm. It’s a couple weeks later when you decide to bring Aaron lunch at the office; things seem much calmer lately, but the team’s cases have been back to back, and he’s been out of town a lot. You have to take the opportunity when you can, and that means showing up with a bag of Mexican food and a smile and hoping he’s not too busy to eat with you.

You get checked into the building and head for the BAU bullpen, stopping to chat with the team for a few minutes. You loosely plan for dinner or drinks in the future, make a promise to pop in and see Penelope before you leave, and then head up to Aaron’s office, knock lightly on the doorframe.

“Hungry, handsome?” Aaron looks up from his stack of paperwork with a smile, then slowly runs his eyes over you—you’re wearing a sweater, jeans, boots, nothing revealing in the slightest, but he makes you feel very warm and very naked nonetheless.

“Yes. For lunch, too,” he says, and you roll your eyes, a little bashful, and enter his office, setting down the bag of food you brought after he clears space on the desk. He stands, pulls you close for a hug and kiss, and then you unpack lunch, spread containers out over the desk. “Burritos? Are you trying to beef me up?” he asks, and you look up at him, lift your brow.

“Were you expecting salads? I’m feeding a super special FBI agent here, you need your strength.”

“We’ve only been living together for five months and it’s already getting hard to button my pants,” he grumbles, but he peels back the foil on the one labeled pollo asado without further complaint, takes the hot sauce when you hand it to him.

“So we’ll go up a size. It’s a good thing you’re not living off of coffee and vending machine protein bars anymore. You’ve been needing someone to feed you up for a while—and besides, I don’t mind if your pants are unbuttoned,” you say, licking sauce off of your thumb. “Nothing hotter than a well-fed Fed.” He rolls his eyes, and you sit down to eat.

When the hour is up, you pack up the leftovers, give him a longer, slower kiss goodbye, and pat his stomach, which makes him groan. “Any harder and the button might pop,” he jokes, and you laugh, shake your head.

“Don’t be dramatic. I love this tummy. Might even grab onto it later, you know?” You slowly wet your lips, then smile, and take a step back, take the paper bag and head out the door. “See you tonight, love you.”

“Devil woman,” he calls after you, and you grin the whole way to Penelope’s office.

“Light in the darkness,” she says when she opens the door to find you on the other side. “How did god know I needed to see an angel today?”

“Oh, I don’t know about all that, but I have some extra chips and guac from lunch if you need a pick me up.” She eagerly accepts your offering, and you take a seat next to her, dip a couple of chips half-heartedly, still full from your burrito. “So how have you been? Busy supporting the cutest group of crime fighters since Scooby Doo?” She laughs, nods her head.

“Yeah, that’s pretty much the extent of it. When it rains creepy crimes, it pours, apparently. I think we’re all in desperate need of a vacation at this point—and a puppy.” She hits a few keys, pulls up a screensaver that is just a compilation of fluffy puppy photos, and you both sigh.

“Aw, a puppy would be nice. I don’t even dream about vacations anymore; I’ve come to terms with the fact that Aaron will never be the vacationing type.”

“Not even the honeymoon type?” she asks, looking at you over her glasses, and you crunch on a chip, shake your head.

“I doubt it, and we’re not there yet, anyway. I’d consider myself lucky if he took more than two days off in a row.”

“He’s always been like that—working himself too hard,” she says sadly, as if to let you know it has nothing to do with you. You know that, but can’t deny it would be nice to have more than the weekend with him. “As long as I’ve known him, at least.”

“And I get it: what you guys do is important, and I wouldn’t want him to change himself for me. I guess we all just have our things.” You smile, and she does too, reaches out to pat you on the arm.

“Could be worse, honey. Could always be worse.” She hits a few keys on the keyboard again, and up pops a man’s mugshot. “This guy’s girlfriend had to find out he’s been killing women and chopping them up in an industrial food processor.”

You’re glad you already had lunch, because the imagery is enough to make you lose your appetite for several hours.

Your stomach eventually comes around, and you and Aaron have a quiet dinner—chicken, potatoes, and “a salad, since you’re watching your figure now” you tease—and then you ask if he’d be okay with calling it a night a little early. He agrees, and you take him to bed and undress, then slowly pull off all his clothes, running your hands over his body as you go.

“So big and strong,” you murmur as you brush your palms over his shoulders, press your lips to his bare chest. “Unbearably sexy.”

“Used to be stronger,” he sighs as you trail your mouth lower, sink to your knees, smooth your hands down his thighs.

“I used to be perkier; still want me, don’t you?” You look up at him, wink, and he reaches down to cup your cheek with a big hand; you nuzzle into it, happy, content, just like always.

“I’ll always want you.”

“Good. And I’ll always want you.” Just in case the words aren’t enough, you bring your hands to his stomach, massage it a little, run your tongue slowly over the length of his cock. “Mmm. Lay down for me?”

He does, and you climb on top of him, lean in to kiss him slowly, deeply, skimming neatly trimmed nails over his chest. You kiss along his throat, down to his stomach, and then wrap a hand around the base of his dick and put your mouth on him, the other hand pressed lightly against his stomach while you suck him off.

Your pace is easy, your hand moving in time with your tight lips and hollow cheeks, and you squeeze his tummy, moan your pleasure, and flick your eyes up to his face. His lips are soft around a sigh, but his brows are tensely knit, and he brings a hand to your chin, caresses you lightly when he floods your mouth, when you swallow for him and lick him clean.

“Fuck, baby,” he breathes, and you crawl up his body, kiss his cheeks and his lips and then whimper when he presses your back against the bed.

His fingers find you soft and wet and open, and he pushes two of them inside, leans over you to mouth wetly at your throat, your breasts. You weave your fingers into his hair, grip his shoulder, moan his name, and he makes you come quickly, expertly, in that practice makes perfect kind of way. He kisses your lips as you sigh, sink against the bed, then rubs his hand over your chest and hums.

“Perky,” he says in your ear, and then you both laugh, and you pull him down on top of you for a quick cuddle before going to the bathroom to get ready for bed. A couple of Fridays later, it’s your turn to host girls night, so you’re in the kitchen putting together a charcuterie board and mixing up cocktails when Aaron walks in, looking casual and cuddly in jeans and a quarter-zip fleece sweatshirt. You know he plans to set up camp in his office, but you kind of wish he wouldn’t just so you’d get to look at him some more.

“Gorgeous man,” you say, peering up at him as you wrap your arm around his waist. “Can I interest you in a paloma?” You lift up a pink cocktail and he laughs lightly, guides your hand back toward the counter.

“You can’t, but I will take a beer for the road.” You shrug your shoulders, let him go so he can walk over to the fridge; you take a sip of the drink you offered him, wince a little—it’s a bit strong for a girls night in, but it won’t kill anyone—and Aaron caches the expression, holds back a smile. “Are you going to end up drunk tonight? Should I prepare for the worst?”

“Ha ha. I don’t plan on it, but if I do, just throw me over your shoulder and put me to bed.”

“It’s cute that you think that works,” he says, bending to kiss you on the cheek, and then the doorbell rings. “I’ll get it, baby. Keep… rearranging your cheese.” He smiles, you smile back, a little exasperated, and he goes to answer the door.

A short time later, you and your friends are gathered in the living room, sprawled across the sectional sofa with drinks and snacks. You’re maybe a little tipsy, and when the topic turns to Elena’s now ex-boyfriend, the personal trainer, you’re just uninhibited enough to weigh in.

“I don’t know what you saw in him anyway. He spent so much time in front of the mirror, I would have been insecure that he was going to leave me for himself.” Your friend Jada laughs, and you preen, take another sip of your drink.

“She just misses his dick; the new guy isn’t working with much. What’s his name? Chester? Charlie?”

“Clifford,” Elena says, pulling out her phone, “and no, he’s not working with much, but he’s really cute. Look at him.” She shows you a photo from her camera roll, and Clifford looks just like the personal trainer, but with brown hair instead of blond.

“Not my type,” you dismiss with a wave of your hand, “but clearly he’s yours, so congrats, really. You can work around the small dick thing.”

“What is your type?” your other friend Michelle asks. “I’ve never been able to pin it down.” You open your mouth to answer but frown after a moment.

“I’ve never really had one, I guess. I know what I don’t find attractive, but what I do find attractive?” You think on it for a minute, and all you can imagine is what you already have. You can’t help smiling wide. “I mean, if I had to say, I guess just Aaron.” Your friends chime in with a chorus of aww, and you shush them. “I just think he’s perfect, you know? He’s smart and sweet and secretly funny; tall, and strong, but not in a ‘spends all day at the gym’ way—no offense. He’s a little softer, I can wrap myself up in his arms. It’s nice.”

“I’m with you,” Jada says. “A hard body might be nice to look at, but I need something to grab onto in the middle of the night.”

“Yes! Something to grab onto, and Aaron is perfect for that. He’s such a good cuddler, and he’s heavy, in a sexy way, like when he’s on top of me.” Okay, so you’re definitely a little drunk, never this loose-lipped about your sex life, but it’s all true regardless. “And he’s nice to look at—so nice to look at. The most handsome man I’ve ever seen.”

You could go on talking about Aaron for the rest of the night, but topics change and you have enough sense not to ramble any further; you don’t have the sense to stop drinking, though, so by the time your friends leave, you’re puttering around trying to clean up the kitchen, and not doing a very good job of it. Aaron finds you, makes a soft sound and puts his arms around you from behind, effectively stilling your motions.

“Let’s go to bed, baby,” he murmurs into your hair, and you sink back against his body, sigh happily.

“I want to go to bed—I want to go to bed with you. I always want to go to bed with you, because I love you.”

“I know, sweetheart, I love you, and we’re going to go to bed right now. We can clean up tomorrow.” You let him lead you down the hall, but you only make it halfway to the bedroom before you turn around in his arms, try to pull him down to your level. He’s so tall it can sometimes be annoying.

“I love you. I want you, always. You’re my type.” He laughs, bends to kiss you softly and tries to walk you backward toward the bedroom.

“Thank you. You’re my type, too, and I want you always.” You nod, because that’s good. You should be his type, since he loves you. That just makes sense.

“I want a puppy—a fluffy baby puppy with you. I’ll be the puppy mom and you’ll be the puppy dad.”

“A puppy,” he repeats, and you make it to the bedroom: you can tell because he sits you gently on the bed, helps get you out of your jeans. “We could get a puppy, if that’s something you want. I can walk it in the mornings before work, you can walk it on your lunch.”

You make a happy sound, because you hadn’t expected him to say that. You figure asking for one more thing can’t hurt, while you’re on a roll.

“I want a vacation, too, please. A beach vacation—I want to see you in swim trunks, your hair all wet, and I want to feel your skin warm from the sun.” He pulls your top over your head and walks away from you; when you make a sound of protest, he assures you he’ll be right back, and he returns with one of his t-shirts, helps you put it on.

“You want a beach vacation?” He turns down the bed, maneuvers you under the covers, then starts undressing himself. “What brought that on?”

“I don’t know. Just want to go away with you,” you say, and you can feel yourself drifting now that you’re cozy in bed, wearing Aaron’s clothes, soft pillows all around you. “A vacation, or a—a honeymoon.”

Aaron says something in response to that, but you can’t make it out, too busy falling asleep and imagining the scent of sunscreen and the feel of thick fingers rubbing it into your shoulders. You wake with a bit of a headache, and a dry mouth, and a warm body at your back, an arm loosely slung around your waist. You groan and press back against Aaron, and he leans forward to brush his lips over your ear and chuckle lightly against it.

“I think you went a little overboard,” he says, and he smooths your unruly bedhead back away from your face. “There’s water and ibuprofen on the nightstand. If you’re feeling up to it, I think a shower would do you some good. I’ll make breakfast.” He presses several soft kisses to your cheek and chin, and you close your eyes, hum your contentment.

“I love you, do you know that?”

“I do know that,” he breathes, and he runs his hand over your hip in a way that makes you wish you had more energy and less aching in your temples. “You said it a lot last night—I also couldn’t help overhearing you say I’m the most handsome man you’ve ever seen.”

“Well that’s true. Incredibly handsome,” you agree tiredly, and he presses his lips to your neck in the form of soft, smacking kisses.

“You also said you wanted a honeymoon,” he murmurs, and you open your eyes comically wide, slide up to a seat, look down at his face to try to read his expression.

“I did?” He nods, clearly trying not to smile at your surprise.

“Yes, you did. I’m not clear on the details, though—would that include a wedding, or were you planning on skipping over that part?” You lean over him, hide your face against his shoulder, and he laughs softly, rubs his hand up and down your back. “We’ve never talked about it, but it seems that’s something I should have at least brought up. We just took our time moving in together, and I didn’t want to rush that if you weren’t ready. Are you ready?” he asks quietly, and you pull back to look at him—his open expression, soft features, curious eyes.

“In theory, or in practice?” You have to ask, because this is Aaron, and he’s amazing, but he’s not a grand gestures type of man—if he’s asking you to marry him, you want to be very clearly on the same page to avoid miscommunication. He smiles, runs his hand down your arm.

“In theory.” You think of what it would mean, how it would feel, being married to the best man you’ve ever met, the kindest, most open-hearted (if occasionally grumpy) person, and the answer comes easily.

“Yes, I’m ready in theory.” His smile grows, and you match it, leaning down for a kiss. Then, he moves out from under you, reaches behind himself, into his nightstand, and rummages around for a moment before returning with a blue velvet box that he just holds, so casually, in his hand.

“How about in practice?” Your heart sinks to your stomach in the best way, and you can’t find the words even though you know exactly what you want to say. You bite your lip, and your eyes water a little; Aaron presses his palm to your cheek, and you meet in the middle for a slow, sweet kiss, exhaling softly when you pull apart.

You nod your head.

“Yes, I’m ready in practice.” You kiss again, a bit less sweet, weaving your fingers into his hair, and he pulls you down, makes you laugh, covers you with his body and kisses your face until you’re both out of breath.

“That’s good, because I want to make an honest woman out of you if we’re going to have a baby.” You freeze beneath him—did you talk about children last night, too, in your drunken haze?—and he chuckles, leans back so you can better see his face. “A fluffy baby puppy, remember? I’ll be the puppy dad and you’ll be the puppy mom.” You smack his chest, which he finds hilarious, and then you put your hands on his arms and sigh.

“Let me see that ring, please.” He props himself up on his elbows, opens the box for you: it’s sparkling, beautiful, exactly what you would have chosen for yourself, and you pluck it out, hold it up, and then hand it back so he can slide it onto your finger. “How long has this been in that drawer?”

“Since you moved in,” he says, and he takes your hand, kisses it, and admires your new accessory. “It was in my sock drawer before that, and I’m honestly not sure how long it was there. Two years, at least.” You frown just so you won’t cry, and he leans in to press his lips to the downturned curve of yours. “I told you, I always just knew.”

You deepen the kiss, run your hands over his sides beneath the soft t-shirt he slept in; his fingers move to the hem of the t-shirt you slept in as if to remove it, and you pause, pull back.

“No, wait, I’m gross. How are you even kissing me right now?” Aaron rolls his eyes, presses his mouth to yours repeatedly despite your half-hearted protests.

“Because I don’t care about morning breath, I’m marrying you.” He puts his hands in your hair, continues kissing, and you know resistance is futile; he wants you regardless, just as you are, and you would feel the same if roles were reversed—you do, every day.

“Mmh, okay but. At least let me. Shower first,” you mumble against his lips, and he rolls his eyes, leans back so he’s on his knees hovering over you, hands on his thighs.

“Would that make you feel better?” You nod happily, and he climbs off the bed, pulls you to your feet. “In that case, you go shower, and I’ll make breakfast as planned. And then, if your conditions are met, princess,” you wrinkle your nose, and then you both laugh, “I think I would like to make love to my fiancée, if that’s something that would interest you.”

“I’m very interested in that,” you agree, winding your arms around his neck, and you allow him one more kiss before you shuffle toward the shower, standing under the spray long enough to feel fully human again.

You drink the water, take the ibuprofen, and throw on his quarter-zip sweatshirt from the night before, and then meet him for eggs, toast, fruit, and kisses. He’s cleaned up the mess from last night, brewed a fresh pot of coffee, and you fall a little bit in love all over again.

After breakfast, you make it as far as the couch, flat on your back with the sweatshirt hiked up around your stomach and Aaron’s head between your thighs; you moan, tug on his hair as he drags his tongue repeatedly through the wetness that clings to your pussy, and when he makes you come you close your legs around his shoulders, squeezing tightly, back arching off of the couch.

“Mmm. Should have locked you down a lot sooner,” you pant, encouraging him to climb on top of you. He licks his lips and leans in for a warm, soft kiss.

“I’ve been locked down since our first date. You wore a blue dress and I couldn’t take my eyes off of you.” You pull his shirt over his head, and he pushes his boxers off, guides his cock inside you and plants his hands, noses along your cheek. “And now you’re mine.”

You can’t remember the last time you had sex in broad daylight—or the living room, for that matter—so each roll of his body, heavy and smooth against yours, is that much hotter as the sun shines in through the window, as birds chirp from the tree just outside. Your moans feel louder, more indecent, and you hold onto his ass, run a hand up his back, while he groans in your ear, whispers things like fuck and baby and mine.

“Aaron, please,” you sigh, digging your fingertips into his hips, and he kisses you, thrusts harder, knows what you need without having to hear it. He’s getting close too, huffs hot breath against your cheek, and you squeeze him tighter, press up against him. “Yes, hmm. I’ve got you, baby.” You move a hand to his hair, carding fingers through it, and he rests one gently over your throat, kisses you deep and wet, passionate, pounds against you until he comes.

He slides his hand down your body, rubs his fingertips over your clit, and this time your orgasm is softer, and you bite at his shoulder just to feel more connected, even though he is still inside you, heavy above you. You cling to him, catch your breath, and then you kiss a little before hurrying to get cleaned up and hoping you don’t make a mess of the couch.

When you reconvene in the living room, windows open, curtains blowing softly in the breeze, Aaron is on the couch with his laptop on his thighs. You plop down next to him, peer over his shoulder, and he raises his eyebrow and smiles.

“What do you think of Golden Retrievers?” You rest your head against him, look at the screen full of fuzzy yellow puppies, and sigh, content.

Taglist 🤍: @thaddeusly @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal @g-l-pierce @my-rosegold-soul @ssamorganhotchner @heliotropehotch @angelhotchner @qtip-blog @gspenc @wishuhadstayed @averyhotchner @hotforhotchner11 @itsmytimetoodream @unicornprancing @uchihasteph @mugi-chwan95 @madamsnape921 @hxtchncr

[honestlyfragile]

JUMPSTREET - Mark Lee x Johnny Suh

Pairing: Mark Lee x Fem!Reader, Johnny is Mark’s bestfriend, Mentions of Jaehyun and Yuta

Genre: university!au, police!au, a dash of fluff, smut,crack, fraternity!au

warnings: mild violence, mentions of guns, drugs, sexual themes, language

Summary: Mark and Johnny were partners in crime, but when feelings get in the way, will Mark stick to the law or go against it?

Wc: 15.4k

also posted in Ao3

a/n: I hope you enjoy this story heavily inspired by the 21 & 22 Jumpstreet movie franchise, and hopefully I was able to deliver it with my own ideas. Enjoy!

Mark and Johnny start their first official day as policemen after being together in most of their high school years and studying criminology in college. They could not be more excited to see people make trouble until today.

"Let's see who's going to be able to make his first arrest." Johnny bets, scanning around the area with a cup of coffee in his hand, the other on his waist.

"Dude it's a park, what the fuck could possibly happen here?" Mark retorts, unamused.

"Oh you know, it's a crazy world we live in these days." Johnny defends, his gaze fixed on his surroundings.

"Sure it is." Mark continues to read his newspaper as he stands side by side with Johnny.

The two try to at least roam around and patrol over the area, looking for at least an ounce of any violation, it didn't matter if it was serious or not.

Mark spots a kid of about 9 years old near the pond, about to drop a piece of bread into the water.

"Excuse me kid," Mark bluffs, as if it were his first catch of the day. Technically this is his first catch of his career, hopefully.

"What?" the child frowns and looks at him obnoxiously.

"Read the sign," Mark points to it and the kid's eyes follow, but disobeys him anyway. 

"It says don't feed the ducks!" Mark argues, but the kid is unbothered.

"Let it go Mark, it's not like bread will kill them. Plus, you can't arrest a child." Johnny scoffs and tries to drag Mark to another area.

Mark lets out a sigh as the kid sticks his tongue out and he does the same before turning his back.

The two had nothing better to do, they were rookies who just got newly assigned to an area that didn't even have any trouble. Almost like they were just there for the sake of. Of course the department treated them as rookies.

Johnny takes out his pistol out of boredom and tosses it for fun. "Woah you know those are loaded right?" Mark warns him while involuntarily taking a step back.

"Yeah and?" Johnny continues to toss and play with it.

"Unload it first!" Mark panics like the goody two shoes that he was.

"Then that would be no fun." Johnny shrugs.

Mark spots a group of middle aged men from afar, but not quite. He squints and tries to take a closer look with his binoculars.

"Yo check it out, aren't those the Outlaws?" He nudges Johnny's shoulder as he takes a look himself.

The Outlaws are a known motorcycle gang in the county, they aren't always bothersome but the both of them are determined to find a loophole.

The two approach the group of men and tell them off because they have parked their motorcycles illegally. But that's not the only thing they notice, these men were stoned. One lights up a joint of Marijuana shamelessly, and Johnny loses his temper. "Excuse me Sir, you do know that the use of Marijuana is illegal right?"

"Oh look," the hideous man spits on the ground. "They must be new. He has the guts to talk to us like that. Nice to see some fresh kids here. You sure you aren't dressing up for... halloween?" The man specifically has his eyes on Mark when he said the last sentence.

Feeling offended, Mark straightens up his stance and acts more like a grown man. "That's a nice joke sir, now hand it over." He says in a stern voice.

"What a scary fella, keep up the good work! Sorry I don't have candy with me." They tease and the two have had enough.

"I'm going to have to search your motorcycle now sir." Johnny insists and doesn't wait for a response, and opens the seat and finds packets of a fine white substance. "These are.." he halts.

"DRUGS!" Mark shouts and immediately gets pushed by one of the gang members.

Johnny immediately gets a sample and keeps it in his pocket and takes his gun out. Mark gets up and does the same. The men try to run away and escape, Johnny runs after them and Mark takes his bike. The two finally get to corner them and Johnny pits one of them on the ground.

"You have the right to," Johnny tries to utter the Miranda Rights as he puts handcuffs on the man that is trying to eagerly resist him. "To shut the fuck up!" Johnny was being too focused on trying to handcuff the suspect and forgets to recite the rest,

Reciting those did not even cross Mark's mind as he just also focused on trying to handcuff the man.

"You are coming with us!" He yells and drags them to the police station, which was only a few meters away from them now.

--------

As the case was investigated, their chief commends them but then discovers that they forgot to recite the Miranda Rights, which can possibly make the charges be dropped, but thankfully the violation to the law was enough for the men to remain in jail.

"Technically you still did this wrong," the chief puts a hand on his chin and taps the polished wooden table. "But since you're just starting out, i'll give you another offer."

The two young men eye each other, anticipating the chief's suggestion. "An offer?" Johnny asks, straightening up in his seat.

"Jump street." The chief says.

"Wha- what's that?" Mark furrows his eyebrows in curiosity.

"Since the both of you look younger than the rest of the people here, our undercover police unit is in need of officers." The chief informs.

"Please, continue." Johnny lets him explain further.

"You pretend to be college students. It's practically the same, but it would be more suitable for the both of you because it's your crowd. You see crime and injustice, you report. But, you will be disguised as college students to ease the procedures of trying to find what those students have been up to. We have your back." The chief explains.

"Cool." Mark simply says because he is astonished by the idea.

"So where do we report? Do we have a new head quarters?" Johnny asks. 

"You will be transferred. Down in 21 Jump St." The deputy Chief declares.

____

They head to the headquarters that was disguised as an old chapel. "You sure this is the one?" Mark questions as he gets out of the car.

"It does say 21 Jump St. so, let's have a look." Johnny turns off the engine and both of them enter.

The setting was a typical chapel, but it was dark and full of stock equipment. Mark takes a look at the altar that was dimly lit, and bows before the image of Christ to show respect . Johnny on the other hand was not a person of religion but follows Mark's simple gesture anyways.

"The both of you!" A man shouts from afar, and it echoes, "come over here." 

The two are startled but proceed to the hidden room. When they enter they see two women who are already disguised as cheerleaders. Meanwhile the two are still in their police uniforms. The ladies take a look and have a good laugh at them. "You do know that you're supposed to go undercover right?" She says, eyeing them from head to toe. 

"W-we didn't get the memo that it was gonna be today.." Mark trails off and fidgets with his hands.

"Go and dress like teenagers! Now!" The chief commands and the two quickly change right away. 

When they get back they are briefed by the set of rules they have to follow and about the goals of this undercover project.

"Rule number 1. DO NOT get expelled. No one in the system knows that you are undercover. So be disciplined and don't cause major trouble. Getting expelled would mean that you'll get your asses kicked out of jump street." The chief sternly explains, making the assigned officers hold their breath from fear.

"Rule number 2," the officer walks past the rest and stands in front of Johnny. "DO NOT have any sexual or intimate relationships with the students and professors. You hear that pretty boy?" And specifically locks his eyes on Johnny, making the boy gulp and purse his lips. After the general meeting, the two were called for a detailed one, personally with the chief.

It was said to them that they had to find a synthetic drug that has been spreading around the campus called NCT. A sample of its packaging was shown, it was definitely something you wouldn't think of as a drug. It was about a size of a large coin, and looks like a small biscuit. It was sealed using assorted hand drawn stickers of different objects. They were also advised to never give out their real names, because new identities have been assigned to them. Johnny's being Rolan Kim and Mark's being Kalen Park.

"When the youngsters take this drug, it apparently makes them laser-focused on studying for about an hour. And for the succeeding hours, they party like it's fucking 1999 until they pass out. Infiltrate the dealer, find the supplier." The chief gives his final orders and sends off the both of them for their mission.

-----

"Dang, we're really going back to college?" Mark says as he finished up packing his things for the dorm that the agency assigned to them. They had to be as realistic as possible.

The two head to the university, reminiscing their own college days. The two might perhaps over-do this whole "blending in" thing, which might give out the disguise.

"Woah their campus is HUGE." Mark says, mesmerized and wears both straps of his backpack.

"Bro, that's not very college of you." Johnny fumbles with the strap of Mark's backpack.

"What?"

"You're two strapping dude. You have to just sling one of them on your shoulder, so it's cool and grown up. You're in college, not middle school." Johnny fixes Mark's bag for him.

"Right. College." He utters to himself. He seems to be enjoying it too much, and starts saying hi to everyone he sees.

"Knock it off, Mark. You're giving us away." Johnny nudges his arm and tries to cooly stride along the campus, keeping his composure.

Mark acknowledges him and goes with the flow. The two arrive in their dorm that they gladly share only among themselves. Mark is new to this, because when he went to college he stayed with his parents. Thankfully he could trust Johnny to always have his back.

The two set their things down and pick their beds, it didn't really matter much since the room had two singles and separate desks for the both of them. It also had a small book shelf that could come in handy, if they ever plan to take lectures seriously.

"Let's just fix these later. We have to go to the Dean's office to confirm our enrollment. Act natural okay?" Johnny lazily brushes his hair back and straightens up his shirt in front of the small mirror that the vanity had.

"Oh- uh okay." Mark leaves the pile of his clothes undone on top of his bed and grabs his phone and keys.

It was the afternoon of fall, the campus has been covered with different hues of orange leaves and subtle sunlight. The breeze was cool but not strong as it blew against their hair. The university seemed peaceful, but they had no idea what went on once the sun sets and the lights are off.

After a couple minutes of walking, the two arrive at the Dean's office for their interview. 

"Good afternoon gentlemen, please take a seat." The middle aged man smiles at the both of them. 

The two are slightly nervous, but eventually get over it. "Nice to meet you, Mr..." Johnny reads the name plate on the desk "Mr. Bennet." and gives the man his signature smile. Mark does the same and they start their interview. 

"Okay, so which one is Rolan and which one is Kalen?" Mr. Bennet asks and there was a short period of silence. Two had seemed to forget which identities were theirs. 

Johnny raises his hand, "I'm Rolan sir. Rolan Kim." and he nudges Mark's shoulder. 

"Ah yes and I'm Kalen... Park" he barely manages to blurt it out. 

The dean furrows his eyebrows but lets it go and proceeds. "So the two of you are?" He asks. They were not prepared for that question. 

"Brothers."

"Family friends." the two say at the same time. They give each other a funny look, and Mark gladly saves them from the mishap. "Well we do really treat each other as brothers sir, we grew up together pretty much." and clears his throat. A close call. 

"That's good to hear. So Rolan is going to be trying out for the football team and Kalen will try out for the Music club. Those two are very different from each other, but don't worry the opportunities in this school are endless. You can always transfer if you feel that you aren't happy with what you chose." The dean explains and the two acknowledge. 

Mr. Bennet goes a little further with the interview and gives them their schedules for the semester then eventually dismisses the two, wishing them well.

"Dude how can you forget the identity that was assigned to you!" Johnny quietly scolds Mark for his slip away. 

"I'm sorry okay it's a little confusing!" Mark scratches the back of his head and looks at the floor. 

"Ayt, I'll see you later. I have Chemistry in 15 minutes. I can still catch up. What about you?" Johnny asks, putting his hand on his pockets and the other on Mark's shoulder.

"Well, I don't really have any classes for the day anymore. I guess i'll head back to the dorm so I can start unpacking already. I'll see you then. Let me know if you find any leads." Mark gives him a small salute and heads back to the dorms.

-----

Johnny arrives in the lecture hall and receives strange looks. He tenses up a little but nonetheless shrugs it off and takes a seat next to a boy who looks like a whole generation younger than him. 

"Yo, you look really old. Were you held back?" The boy asks in a nosy manner, unintentionally pushing Johnny's buttons.

Johnny clenches his jaw and keeps his composure. "No I don't... You look young. Super young. Were you held forward?" he tries to redeem himself. 

"No? Whatever. I'm Haechan by the way." The boy introduces himself. 

"Im Joh- Rolan." Johnny almost slips but the latter doesn't notice. 

The professor immediately hands a quiz, which Johnny has no idea of because he arrived at an odd time of the semester. He guessed all the questions with all his might. But to be quite honest he also wasn't the best in chemistry when he still went to school. 

He turns his paper in and walks towards the exit but gets stopped by Haechan. "Uh do you need help with the topic? You seem to be clueless about it." Which came off as a little rude, but that wasn't his intention at all. 

"No." Johnny insists because it hurts his pride. "I know everything." He stiffens up.

"Yeah? Do you know what a covalent bond is then?" The boy cheekily asks. 

Johnny bluffs, because he doesn't. Or to put it in a better light, he forgot. "Fuck man, I don't have to tell you what it is."

"Woah, I wasn't trying to be rude. But anyway if you need help you can just ask me. See ya." Then Haechan was off and got lost in the sea of people. 

Apparently, it was Johnny's last class for the day because it was already almost evening. He texts Mark to inform him that he's heading back to the dorm as well. He doesn't let his guard down and continues to observe the students if they're up to anything suspicious.

As he walked to the dorm, he saw a bunch of boys that were about as tall as he was but more athletic gather around the corner of the football field. He acts nonchalant but keeps an eye on what they are up to. He tries to move closer to the scene without getting caught and acts like he's only passing by. 

"Yo hook me up with some more of those, I can't fail my classes or else i'll get kicked out of the team." One says to the other. 

Johnny immediately pulls his phone out to text Mark about what he just heard and hurries back. 

-------

"Dude, as expected the football team has it. I'm trying out tomorrow and I'll surely get with them." Johnny discusses with Mark.

"Yeah? Can I come watch your tryouts? So I can see what they look like." Mark requests. 

"Sure. 2pm at the field." Johnny informs him.

The two were mostly busy arranging their stuff in the room until they heard a knock on the door. Mark offers to get it. 

"Hey new neighbors!" two men appear with big smiles. 

"Oh hey, uh... thanks?" Mark blankly answers as he was usually awkward meeting with new people.

Johnny comes and checks to see who it was, and to his surprise, it was Haechan and his roommate. 

"Oh hey Haechan, and hey..." Johnny looks at the unfamiliar guy. 

"Renjun." He smiles.

"Right Renjun." Johnny nods. "Oh by the way Kalen, I go to the same biology class as Haechan." Johnny calls Mark by his fake name.

"Oh cool, what about you Renjun, what's your major?" Mark asks. 

"Classical music!" Renjun enthusiastically says. 

"Oh I'm in Music Prod! I'll probably see you around during org meetings." Mark smiles.

Their neighbors introduce tips for them that could be useful during their stay and seem to be genuinely nice people. But Mark and Johnny cannot trust anyone, so they keep their guards up and try their best to not give anything away. 

Although it may have seemed like an easy task for them, it wasn't. The drug was all over the school, it was going to be difficult to find the root of it if they ignored even the smallest details that could lead them to find out the supplier. 

---

The following day, the two wake up early ready to officially start the day. Mark and Johnny head to their own classes, hoping that they find out something about the case today. 

Mark enters the lecture hall for his Philosophy class. It was almost 80 percent full as it was a basic class for almost everyone. He awkwardly looks around, hoping to find a seat that wasn't as far because of his bad eyesight. 

"Psst." You try to catch his attention. When he looks over, you tap the vacant seat next to you, "you can sit here." You offer. 

"T-thanks." He says and gives you a smile. 

"You seem like a new face. I'm Y/N" You say to him because you have observed the people in this class every day. 

"I'm Kalen. Kalen Park." he scratches the back of his head. "I uh, just got enrolled yesterday. You know, when your family moves into another town... yeah" he trails off with his made-up excuse. 

"Yeah, it's fine. Don't worry about it." You genuinely assure him, "It's college. You can take your time." You chuckle because he was so awkward, but seemed very kind. 

"Definitely." He bites his lip, unsure if he should keep talking or not. But the professor arrives just on time. 

He observes his surroundings and keeps an eye on suspicious students that might have a link to what they were looking for. He whispers to the guy in front of him who was just playing games on his laptop and wasn't listening in class. "Hey, do you know where I can get myself some NCT?" 

The guy raises his brows in doubt, "are you a narc?" and might have said it way too loudly. 

Mark tries to brush it off with a stiff laugh "What are you talking about man? I'm not I swear." and refuses to make eye contact. 

The airhead lets it go and slips mark a cellphone number that could possibly be a step closer to what they were looking for. "Just text them "looking for a hookup" and they'll know what you're talking about." 

"Thanks, man." He gives him a small pat on the back just to show that he wasn't up to anything, which actually just makes him more suspicious. Thankfully, the guy didn't really care. 

Mark was delighted to have found a lead easily, and immediately texts Johnny about it. After that, he actually paid attention to the class, just because it genuinely fascinated him. 

When it ended he immediately gathered his stuff and put on his backpack, ready to meet Johnny. 

"Psst, two strapper!" You call out and try to barely tap his shoulder. 

He looks back and immediately drops one strap of his backpack off his shoulders, he definitely forgot about what Johnny has advised him. He scratches the back of his head with his hands on his pocket, "yeah?" 

"You free this evening?" You casually ask. 

He nervously gulps because he really has to be somewhere right now, but he didn't want to be rude. "Uhm, I guess? I don't know yet. Why?" 

"We're having a poetry slam at the art hall, you might be interested. I saw some good stuff you wrote in your notebook" you smile, hoping that it doesn't freak him out that you saw one of his works. 

His eyes widened, "oh, okay cool I guess I can try. But I have somewhere to be right now, I'll see you..around." And he awkwardly walks off. 

You furrow your brows because of his strange mannerisms, but he seemed like no trouble at all. In fact, it was kind of cute, how awkward he was. 

------ 

It was time for Johnny's football tryouts. Given that he was already good at it during the time that he was actually in college.

Johnny was naturally a sociable person, he blended well with crowds and easily made friends. That's why this was the perfect place for him to be in. He sits himself at the bench while he wears the spare uniforms from the team and is greeted by a dude that was a little shorter than he was, "Goodluck" the boy with ash purple hair says. 

"Thanks!" he enthusiastically replies. 

"Captain! We need you for a sec." the coach calls, then the boy who has wished him luck gets up and reports to the coach. Well, he did give off an impression of one. He was highly presentable, his smile was hospitable, his form was great and his attitude was pleasant. Everything else—was just the ideal makings of a captain. 

The tryouts start and Johnny looks around for Mark, who had just arrived and casually sat himself on the bleachers, waving at Johnny from afar. As the tryouts went on and finished, the coach praised everyone who attended for a job well done and announced the new members who had qualified. All of which included Johnny of course. 

"Hey man, great job out there." The captain is back on Johnny's side to praise him. 

"Yeah, thanks. I'm Rolan by the way." He introduces himself.

"Of course I know, I was the one who picked you from the list." He laughs, "Jaehyun. Jeong Jaehyun." 

-----

"Hey!" Mark hears a familiar voice faintly calling his name. He searches for it but takes him awhile because of how wide the campus is. "Over here two stapper," you chuckle and he finally sees. 

"Oh hey," he muttered quite embarrassed at how awkward he was. 

He takes a seat next to you at the bench near the hall of the poetry slam event, he wanted to go together. "Chilly night huh? I should've brought my sweater.." You trail off, rubbing your arms for warmth. 

You didn't mean for it to come off that way, but Mark willingly takes off his jacket and offers it to you. "Oh it's alright really-" you insist.

"No it's fine, I'm from Canada, this is nothing." He laughs. 

You nod your head with his remark, and proceed to wear his jacket. It was quite big on you, but it was definitely cozy. "Shall we go?" You ask, standing up.

He nods and lets you lead him to the hall. The campus was only lit by lamp posts at this hour, but there were many sculptures in the school of arts that he had wished to see better. Well, there was always next time. 

The both of you enter the hall which was quite filled with students already. It had been set up like a cafe, with a small platform in front that was lit with a spotlight. 

"Give it up for Naya Kim everybody!" the emcee announces, encouraging everyone to give the person a round of applause after presenting a spoken word. "Do we have another volunteer?' 

The crowd falls silent as everyone looks around, mindlessly making eye contact with each other, waiting on who was going next. 

"Anyone?" The emcee taps the mic. 

"I have one!" You yell, and Mark looks at you with wide eyes. 

"Dude no-" he resists, trying to shrink himself into his chair. 

"C'mon it'll be fun!" You nudge his shoulder, "We have Kalen over here!" You grab his wrist and raise his arm for him, even if he was resisting it, he had no choice. 

The emcee squints and eyes the both of you and acknowledges you volunteering your new friend. "Alright we have Kalen next! Stage is yours." The emcee steps off. 

He had all eyes on him now, eyes hungry of anticipation and to witness raw talent amongst themselves. 

"G-good evening everyone." he greets, holding onto the mic tightly and takes a deep breath. His expression changes into a serious one. 

Will it ever come? 

The nights know me well. 

I was a frequent by-passer but now I am no stranger. 

A boy who grew up with sharks does not need to be taught how to swim.

Good night,

These words feel like the vast sky

Darkness, but not hollow.

Black but not bitter. 

After he recites his poem he becomes flustered again from the faint applause he had received from the audience that was present, he puts the mic back to its stand and does a small bow. 

"Not bad, tiger" You pat him on the back. There was more to him than what meets the eye, you just knew. 

"You think so?" He says with hopeful eyes. 

"Yeah!" You assure him. 

The rest of the evening passes by with the both of you having a splendid time watching others unleash their passion and talent for reciting spoken word and poetry. Some were tear jerking and some were downright hilarious. So this is college. Mark thinks to himself.

In the past he had always been a loner who didn't go to many parties because of his strict and conservative parents. 

 He was way beyond his borders now. But he couldn't get carried away. No, this isn't a time for him to redeem himself from his early years, this was time for him to perform his duties. So he snaps out of his little daydream. 

As the both of you were seated at the bench in front of the hall where he found you, he had asked you about your major. 

"Fine arts." you laugh bitterly.

"What's wrong? You don't seem like you're happy with it…" He trails off, swinging his feet that was hanging off the bench. 

You shake your head no, "I am. It's just that my parents don't really know I took this course. I told them I got a scholarship and they were just relieved that they didn't have to pay anymore. Otherwise they'd force me into some business course or something "more practical"" you emphasize with air quotes. 

"I see. Okay so fine arts huh?" He tries to lighten the mood. "What can you say about that one over there?" Mark points to the sculpture to your left, about 20 metres away. 

"They're like two beings, leaning on each other" you pause, dramatically for impact, "They support each other so one doesn't fall." you interpret. 

He seems impressed, then asks "Support huh? How about you? Do you have anyone—who supports you?" 

"Hm, not really, no. I like to be alone and just spend time with myself." Your eyes wander but all you could think about is how he's looking at you with such attentiveness and interest.

He chuckles, "I feel you. You know I'm an expert at being alone. Don't you just love it when you're in a room full of people but no one gives a shit about your presence?" He claps his hands together just once then purses his lips into a bitter lopsided smile. "Yep. Had a lot of those." He masks his personal statement with humor.

"Well," You say, kicking the shortly-trimmed grass on the building's lawn. "If you don't wanna be alone, you walk me to my dorm" you offer.

He looks around and takes no time to think about it, feeling that it was unsafe for you to go alone. "Sure." He smiles.

The walk to your dorm was silent but comfortable. You weren't sure if he was quite a talker or just shy. But one thing you couldn't get out of your head was how unconventionally attractive he was. You've never gotten a vibe like his before and you've been in this university for 2 years already. You wanted to get something out of him even if it takes you to be the bold one here. 

"We're here," You whisper, looking at him seductively. Like you were a puppy begging to not be left alone. "Do you wanna come in? My roommate left for the weekend" you smirk. 

Mark gulps. He had been resisting this kind of tension he had with you ever since he met you. But you made it so hard. "Come on," you say, putting your hand at the back of his neck while tracing mindless patterns on it with your finger. 

"My brother he might be-" 

"Oh you have a brother? Is he hot?" You joke. 

His eyes are wide with stitched eyebrows. But eventually catches on. "Nah." and he pulls you closer to him by the waist. His eyes now staring at you deeply, so hungrily like he was that tiger you called him as earlier. Come and get it.

Without any words said, he had finally crashed his lips onto yours. And you kissed him hard. Like you wanted to have him to all yourself at that very moment. Your tongue grazes his lower lip, begging for entrance which he had granted. Your tongues meshed together at a quick pace, with the heat of your core starting to throb. 

You push yourself closer to him and you start to feel his prominence and unconsciously grind on his jeans, making him grunt. You break the kiss for a quick moment, his eyes are glazed and his mouth agape, out of breath. You turn around and enter the code to your dorm and pull him inside. 

For a brief moment that your bodies were detached, Mark couldn't stop wanting more. Not even thinking the slightest of the consequences of this act that will dawn upon him if it ever gets out. 

You were back to slamming your body with his as you took off his jacket, making it fall to the floor. His hands snake underneath your shirt and started roaming around your body while he peppered kisses on your neck. With a swift flick of his fingers he had unclasped your bra and his hands groped your breasts, you threw your head back as he buried his face in your clothed cleavage. Like he was begging for this bothersome piece of clothing to be gone. 

You grant his invisible wish and quickly lift your shirt off, while your bra falls off your arms naturally, his mouth watering at the sight. You trace his abs underneath his shirt, your core getting wetter with how toned they were based on your touch.

And you didn’t doubt the results one bit. When you lift his shirt, his torso was delicately lean, toned in all the right places that your mouth could water at the sight of it. You bite your lip and roll your eyes at the sensation of him sucking your tits, his grip on you intense but gentle. 

“I don’t have condoms right now, so this is going to be all about you.” He whispers seductively, feeling your wetness through your soaked panties. You softly moan at the sensation and hungrily kiss him again, not having any moment to waste. 

When he slides two fingers to massage your folds, you whimper. "Fuck," you breathe. 

"God, that's hot." He says with a hitched breath. You couldn't possibly get any more turned on right now. 

When he slips his digits in your cunt—you go fucking insane. You haven't felt this good in quite a while, it made you ecstatic to remember how fucking good this feeling was, you hoped that this wouldn't be the last. Mark was different.

He picks up his pace, and you try to keep your composure, but the forced arch of your back says otherwise. You grab a pillow to cover your face, scared that you would be too loud and get caught, or else this would be the last time for the both of you. 

“My fucking God.” You whimper, pulling Mark’s head on your chest, holding onto him for dear life because you just entirely lost control of it all. He finishes you off like his life depended on it, licking your wetness from his fingers, savouring it, then wipes his fingers on his jeans.

“You were so good to me, yeah?” He chuckles when you are left speechless.

“What about you?” You ask, looking at his crotch that was painfully hard. 

“It’s- It’s alright. You don’t have to” He says, and it makes your heart thaw like ice. You didn’t deserve him. 

“But I want to.” You plead, you couldn’t possibly resist him. “Come here,” You say, rubbing your palm against his jeans.

You didn’t waste anymore time and unzipped his pants, lowering it with his boxers just enough t make his cock lightly hit his stomach. His size is definitely more than what you expected.  You take his wet, glistening cock in your hands and pump it gently, smirking in satisfaction when you hear him hiss and moan softly. 

“Can you keep it down for me, tiger? We might not be able to do this again,” You coo, and he obediently nods, grazing your lower lip with his tongue, asking for entrance which you gladly grant but not for long. 

You smile as you lowered your head down to his throbbing member, licking the precum that had escaped the tip. Mark bites his lip, trying to keep as quiet as possible. You slowly put his dick in your mouth, testing a few times how far you could go. He bucks his hips by accident, making you gag very slightly. “I’m so sorry,” He strokes your hair away from your face. You keep going until you reach the brim, a throaty moan escapes his lips when he couldn’t take it anymore. 

You bob your head up and down in a consistent pace while he holds your hair, “You’re such a good girl” He says, throwing his head back. You keep going until you feel tears slowly coming out of your eyes and tried to hollow your cheeks as much as possible, he was so close. 

“You don’t have to swallow,” he says, pulling back from you. Nonsense. You were more than willing to. 

“I want to.” You say, putting his cock back in your mouth. 

With a few last pumps, his member twitches in your mouth and you feel his warm release and take it all in. You wipe the sides of your mouth as you finish, giving him a sweet smile. 

After the both of you pass out on your bed, Mark has lost track of time and receives a text from Johnny. 

"Dude where the fuck are you? Do you know what time it is?" 

Mark jolts up and checks the time, 2:45am. Shit, he was screwed. He quickly gathers his clothes that had been thrown around your room and dresses himself in panic. 

"I'm sorry, uh Joh- Rolan, my brother has been waiting for me at our dorm, I lost track of time and i think he'll beat my dick off," He nervously chuckles, almost forgetting to use his fake identity again. He has got to get used to it.

"Not if i did it first" You both burst out laughing. "Alright, I'll see you in class." You say, snuggling yourself in your blanket and shutting your eyes. 

He leaves your dorm quietly and runs a hand through his hair before giving Johnny a call. 

"Dude listen-"

"Are you fucking around Mark?" Johnny answers, clearly enraged. 

Mark was scared as shit but never misses the chance to fuck around Johnny. "I might've." 

"Get your ass back here, Lee" 

"Ayt." 

He slips his phone back to his pocket and starts walking briskly to their dorm. Damn this campus was mad creepy that it actually brought chills to his body. He wondered why he felt so cold then realized he left his jacket at your place. It was too late for him to get it back so he settled by running to warm his body up. 

Finally, he was back at the dorm. He hesitates to turn the doorknob because he knows he will be dead meat or nagged to death by Johnny. Or not. 

"Where you been huh?" Johnny examines him, standing up from his bed. He sniffs Mark and the latter flinches. "You smell like sex!" He slaps his shoulder. 

"You crazy? Some expert or something" Mark brushes him off. Wincing at the sting Johnny's palm gave to the skin of his shoulder.

"I should know, Mark." His mood was lighter now. "But who did you fu- i mean have sex with? we just got here wildcat"

"A girl I met in class like uh… awhile ago" The younger bites his lip trying to keep a smile from escaping his lips. He shouldn't be feeling this giddy over a rule that he broke for you. 

Johnny could not believe what he was hearing right now, "Dang. Cheeky boy." He laughs, actually feeling happy for Mark. He can have a little fun, Johnny had his back when it came to these things.

The elder changes the topic and lets this slide. Johnny talks about the leads he gathered from hanging out with the football team. Which were still very much confusing since this substance is all over the campus. Meanwhile, Mark didn't have much besides that number he gave Johnny. Considering he was with the "decent" crowd of people today.

---

The two head to their quarters to report to their chief the next day, trying to ask for help on how they could improve this investigation. 

The chief dumps a folder on the table and says, "This is what the deputy gave us recently. Take a look." He opens the folder into a specific case file to discuss with the two. 

"Who's this?" Mark points at the picture of a girl, who seemed like they were around the same age as the people at University. 

"Lee Minjung." the chief rubs his hands together. "Took some NCT and got locked out of her dorm, so she ended up falling off the roof and dying." The two are shocked by this revelation, it was more serious than they thought. 

The chief flips a page, "Here's a picture of her buying the drug." The photograph had two people in it, one that had a visible face which was Minjung, and one guy who's back was facing the camera. He wore a hat so they couldn't really tell who it was. But one thing they could point out is the reflection on the window of the car beside them.

"Dude, look at this," Mark points out his observation to Johnny. "He has a tattoo, we could start with this." 

"Bingo. There's your lead." The chief closes the folder and puts it back in his file. "The next time you get back here your asses better be presenting me some actual progress. Understand?" 

"Yes sir." 

----

Johnny and Mark head to the resident tattoo artist that was near the university, apparently they do most of the tattoos of the students there. 

"Excuse me," They knocked on the table of the artist who was currently at the back of the shop.

The tattoo artist arrives out front and asks how they could help the two. 

"We're looking for this tattoo, is it familiar to you?" Johnny asks while showing the artists the photograph.

The artist tries to think hard, but gives a hasty answer. "I'm not sure, there's too many of them who got that." 

Mark pushes the subject, "Them? Do you think it's some kind of group tattoo?" 

"I guess so. They were boys, all of them. Very masculine, had the body of an athlete if I were to put it at that." The artist states. 

Mark and Johnny look at each other as if there were light bulbs above their heads. "Thank you!" Mark says and they run off the shop. 

The possibility of this being in the football team was huge. They were athletes, and under a lot of pressure. They had reasons to use this drug but it wasn't an excuse for them not to eliminate this. They had to get to the bottom of this before it ends up like Minjung's case again. 

---

Johnny was at football practice while Mark stood by the bleachers, watching the team and trying to look out as usual until Johnny calls him over to come down for a bit. 

"Jaehyun, this is Kalen, my brother." He introduces him. With his assigned name. 

Jaehyun chortles in disbelief when he sees Mark. "You have a brother?" He asks and Johnny nods. 

"Sup," Mark tries to give him a bro hug, but Jaehyun shakes his hand instead. 

Jaehyun pays no mind to Mark's presence and diverts his attention back to Johnny and proceeds to talk about their game plan.

When practice ends he tells Johnny that the football team plans to host a party tonight. It would be the perfect opportunity for them to keep an eye on everyone. 

"Can I come?" Mark asks.

Jaehyun eyes him from the side, "Yeah uh sure" and only bids goodbye to Johnny. "See ya bro." 

Mark could already feel that he didn't belong in this crowd, but he and Johnny had to stick together and investigate. 

The night of the party came and the two brothers were stoked. "Our first frat party." Mark thought. 

"Your first frat party." Johnny spat playfully, trying to meticulously style and wax his hair. 

Mark scoffs, still trying to figure out what shirt to wear but at the end, he settles with a navy blue Ralph Lauren shirt. He was too lazy to fix his hair and wears a cap instead. 

Johnny tosses Mark something that he thinks the younger might need later on. 

"Are you for real? A condom?" A baffled Mark says in disbelief, but sliding it in his pocket anyway.

"You'll never know wildcat. You'll never know." He gives him a mischievous wink.

This wasn't just any party to them, this was an operation. Though they chose to leave for the party unarmed, they were thankfully trained well for hand to hand combat, just in case things went extremely wrong. But that was besides the point, they couldn't destroy their chances of blending in.

When the tandem arrives at the party, the elder was the only one to be greeted enthusiastically, Mark shakes it off simply because being friends with these jocks were the last thing on his list. It was Johnny's call if it didn't work for him, they had their roles. 

"Go around for a bit, I'll take care of him." Johnny whispers to Mark with a drink already in his hand.  

Mark shrugs his shoulders and explores the frat house, lit with red and blue, music blaring through speakers and the muffled conversations from the people that filled it. 

Nothing seemed too off the bat here, it was everything you would expect a frat party to be. There hasn't been a trace of NCT anywhere, or maybe it was because they were being taken too discreetly. 

"Want some?" a random guy nudges him, discreetly handing a packet of the substance. He takes it and plays it cool. 

"Yo, sick. Thanks man." He pats him on the back. 

“Yo it’s not free.” The guy laughs then it disappears. “20 bucks.”

Mark's smile fades, embarrassed. Thank god he brought his wallet. “Here. Thanks.”

"Don't sweat it." and he gives him a small salute.

Mark quickly slides it in his pocket, to keep as evidence later. 

"Bad boy." You snake your hands around his shoulders. "Want some?" You offer your red punch with vodka. 

His eyes widen, but eases under your touch. Finally, someone who's familiar. Overly familiar. "Hey, y/n" he shakes his head no. "I don't feel like drinking tonight" he makes up an excuse. 

"So are you…" 

"Am i?" 

"Are you going to take that?" You say, pointing at the pocket where he hid it.

Uncertain, he shakes his head no. "But should I? Have you ever had one of these?" 

"Oh god no." You say in disgust. "I have seen people's reactions to it though. It's borderline batshit crazy, those things." You explain. Hoping that he wouldn't ever try taking those. You knew about the whole Minjung incident. "One of the girls who lived next door died because of it." 

Your remark sparks an interest in him. "Minjung?" He questions. This could be a big help to their operation. But it wasn't a good time to interrogate you.

You raise your brows, "How'd you know her name?" 

He fakes a cough and tries to quickly think of a reason. "Mr- Mr. Benett told us. He said that recently a student passed away but never said it was because of the drug…" 

You crease up, "That old man is fucking clueless." You cross your arms. "But I'm just looking out for you okay? There's safer ways to have fun." 

"Right " He pursues a smile.

Too much fun wasn't part of the plan tonight but you made it difficult for him to do his job. Effortlessly. 

You fake a pout. "C'mon tiger, live a little! It's not going to be that bad." You try to convince him, wrapping your arms around his neck, trying to keep your drink from spilling, his arms naturally overlapping and resting just right above your ass.

To hell with this. He's been dreaming of this his entire life. After being in such a conservative family and all, he deserved to try new things out. He was old enough. He thinks to himself, while catching a glimpse of Johnny chugging down a keg. "You're right." he smirks, and you offer your drink for him to taste. 

Mark's face scrunches a little from the alcohol, but it felt nice. Good enough for him to grab you by the arm and head to get one himself. 

He scans the counter full of different drinks with a variety of colored juices. He chooses the blue lemonade with vodka which you gladly made, handing him the red plastic cup after. "Cheers" you say, delighted with the smile he gave you. 

It wasn't long enough until the both of you were back to dancing again, not giving a care like everyone else. He could kiss you right now. And he did, he couldn't miss the opportunity to make your tongues turn purple. 

----

Johnny has done everything with all his might to get along with these jocks, kids these days do party harder huh? He doesn't remember having this kind of intolerance to alcohol before, he had to get it out of his system before he forgets what he's really here for.  

"Nah this dude's a goner!" Yuta enthusiastically points at Johnny, who now had both of his hands on his knees. 

"Hold on, I gotta have some air outside" he raises his arms in defeat, words slurring out of his mouth and vision so blurred he could barely tell where he's going. Finally after much stumbling and ending up in filthy corners, he managed to find a bathroom. Not a usable one though.

"Oh god- sorry" He says as he sees two people fucking each other's guts out on on the sink. "Nevermind" he immediately shuts the door and leaves them alone. It didn't take long for him to just head outside and vomit on the lawn of the frat house. Oh yes, great fertilizer. 

Johnny regains a very small amount of composure and he felt someone tap and rub his back. "You okay?" Jaehyun chuckles, with a drunk Yuta tagging along.

Johnny takes a deep breath and tries to stand straight with all his might, trying to act like everything was under control. "Shits wild here" He chaffs, but his brows furrow when he sees a familiar pattern on Yuta's skin. "What's that you got there?" Johnny tries to reach for the latter's arm carefully. 

Yuta excitedly raises his sleeve, revealing a tattoo. "Oh this? It's a tattoo man. Gotta get inked at some point!" Yuta says, proudly. "Do you want one? I know a place!"

Jaehyun sighs. He was hyperactive again. "Yuta-"

"What? C'mon look I got this as soon as I got out of my parent's house. Those folks made me feel like I was in jail!" The drunk boy overshares. Johnny pays attention because there was a possibility that these thoughts were sober. 

Johnny was quickly disappointed, but not surprised. "Yeah? That's cool. I'll pass. Kinda scared of needles..." He trails off. 

"Pfft. Pussy." Yuta spat, Johnny was ready to give him a piece of his knuckles. 

Jaehyun blocks Johnny with his arm, "Cut him some slack man, I've known this guy since high school. Let him have his fun. He won't even remember this." 

The three head back inside to enjoy the rest of the party when the duo completely forget what they were initially here for. Johnny had spent the rest of the night enjoying himself, so did Mark.

You and Mark decided to play along with the drinking games these people planned, with the faces that you will surely forget by tomorrow. 

You've already had a couple to drink, so it became harder for you to aim in beer pong. Luckily, Mark was right behind you, with a steady grip on your hips and one arm helping you aim for the ball. 

You close one eye trying to focus as he helped you aim for the cup. "She shoots, she scores!" he shouts playfully and there goes another drink for you. 

"You still alright? We can stop if you want," He whispers, lips tingling on your collarbone, sending chills to your spine. 

You turn to face him, a gentle hand on his lean chest. "I want you.".  You whisper, dragging a painfully slow finger to his lips. You were so knit together that you could feel the growing tent in his pants on your throbbing core. He was irresistible. 

He gulps. Here comes nothing. Johnny sure knows his shit huh?

Mark quickly leads you upstairs, looking for a vacant room to settle in. He turned the knobs one by one but they were all locked, your last resort was a surprisingly available restroom. 

"Will this do for you?" Mark hesitates, because he didn't want you to feel uncomfortable.

Your tipsy self playfully pinches his cheek, "You do it for me, tiger." And it was enough to drive him to the edge. 

As soon as the both of you enter the bathroom, your lips connect once again, sloppily kissing each other like you were out of your minds. Like you wanted to swallow and consume this man whole. 

"I want you to see for yourself how crazy you make me." You say through the slapdash kisses.

He puts a hand under your dress, feeling your drenched cunt. "You're so fucking wet. Is this all for me?" He says out of breath, mouth almost watering with the thought of your pussy in his mouth.

"All yours baby." You bite his lower lip and stick out your tongue for him to suck. 

He raises your dress just below your ribcage and slides down your black lace lingerie as it fell to your ankles, "Just so you know, I'm keeping this." Mark smirks as he quickly puts it in his pocket. 

"It's meant to be yours," You purr, setting your back flat on the cold tiled wall, throwing your head back at the sensation of Mark leaving wet kisses on your thighs. 

He kneels and places your legs over his shoulders, lifting your feet off the ground. He was sturdy as a rock as his two arms held your thighs for support while you removed his cap for you to wear over your head and your fingers to be locked in his hair. 

"Fuck." You hiss as his tongue lapped on your folds, slurping on your wetness like he worshiped you. He sucked repeatedly on your clit making your legs tremble, so good that you might fall over but his reflexes were out of his world and he knew where exactly to support you. 

Your eyes painfully roll to the back of your head from the sensation he was giving you, "God, Kalen don't fucking stop-" you moan and you swear this man had some spell casted on his mouth by how magical it worked. 

You grind your hips involuntarily as his mouth followed it, like this could not get any better than it already was. But you could only take so much. "Kalen I'm gonna cum, fuck" 

"It's not over until it's over baby," he sets you down and removes his mouth from your pussy, you could barely stand with your legs feeling like absolute gelatin. 

Mark gets a condom out of his pocket and quickly unbuckles his belt, making his jeans fall to the ground and expose his throbbing cock, boxers wet with precum. 

"You think you can last longer for me baby girl?" 

You could only nod your head eagerly because you were growing extremely impatient. 

He wraps your legs around his waist in a swift move. "Good girl" He whispers, and you were more than ready to take him. Again and again. 

He inserts himself inside you, stretching your walls and you whimper, wrapping your arms around his head to keep his face close to the valley of your breasts. 

"That's right, open up for me, pretty girl." He pleads as he continues to thrust in a steady pace. Breath hitched as he brought his face up to you, slurping your tongue once more like it was a popsicle that he couldn't get enough of. "Taking me so well like always huh?" he chuckles and picks up his pace, throaty moans escaping his mouth. 

Thank fuck the music in this house was loud enough to blow off people's eardrums, making your moans almost inaudible outside, but loud enough for Marks pleasure. For his ears only. 

“Fuck I’m almost-” Mark huffs, “there.” he breathes. When his pace becomes sloppy and finally comes, you hold onto him, your legs numb that you could barely stand on your own. Conscious with the fact that Mark will get to see how fucked out you look, but he absolutely loved it. 

-----

"What'd I tell ya? That condom didn't go to waste." Johnny snickers while laying in bed, tossing his football. 

Head in the clouds with the thought of you, Mark could only smile to himself but quickly changes the subject before they both lose all purpose. 

"Find anything out yet?" Mark asks mindlessly, because all he could think about was you. 

"Nope." Johnny says, popping the p. He lied.

And something clicks with Mark. That packet of NCT he managed to keep in his pocket. He rushes over to his hamper and flips the pockets of his pants. 

"Someone handed it to me yesterday, I kept it for evidence to bring at the headquarters." He hands the packet to Johnny.

The elder observes it, trying to push the thought of Yuta possibly being a dealer to the very back of his head right now. Give it time. Mark was just starting to enjoy being with you, Johnny has been enjoying being one of the new aces in the football team, it wouldn't hurt to hold it out for a little while. 

"Also," Mark adds, "Y/n knows about Minjung. Said she lived across the hall."

"And?" Johnny anticipates. 

"That's all I know for now. It's still a big step though." Mark concludes.

----

Johnny spends his free time hanging with Jaehyun and the rest of the boys. If not in practice, they hit the gym to always be in tip-top shape. 

Yuta swings a heavy arm over Johnny's shoulders, "Well isn't it our quitter!" 

Johnny shoots Jaehyun a look, "You told me he wouldn't remember." 

Jaehyun could only chuckle, "Well he did." 

Yuta was loud as a goose, he seemed to have so much more energy than the other members of the team that Johnny became suspicious of where it came from. 

He recalls the time when the chief described the effects of the NCT substance, and one of them was being focused and hyperactive.

Yuta, besides being silly, was on top of his own game. After joking around he was a hundred percent focused on the gym, his reps were consistent, his routines were clean. Jaehyun tells Johnny that Yuta was also one of the greatest instruments of the football team. Though not gifted with the brightest mind, he worked hard to stay in this university to prove his parents wrong—and to avoid business school.

He was a potential heir to a known electronics company in Japan, but he insisted that he pursue being part of the varsity team to keep his scholarship in sports science. Which until now was an endless debate between him and his parents. 

Jaehyun had invited Johnny to stay over at the frat house to hang out, and he did. 

It was different to see it in daylight, with no people partying, no vomit and crushed chips on the floor, it looked well taken care of. 

"You guys clean this up yourselves after every party?" Johnny asks, impressed. 

"Yep," Jaehyun proudly says. 

"You gotta look out for the shit they leave behind here. It's amusing." Yuta retorts. 

Johnny raises a brow, "Oh yeah? Like what?" 

Without wit, Yuta replies, "Drugs"

Johnny, absolutely being taken back by his bold remark was immediately clutched by Jaehyun, "He doesn't mean it." 

His suspicion grew so much that he couldn't help but finally bring up the subject. "Like what? Like NCT?" he enunciates. 

Jaehyun, quite astounded by Johnny's knowledge with the substance replies, "Hm maybe. You know about that?" 

And he was in the trance. "Heard of it yeah, can you hook me up with some?

"Oh sure it’s right-" Yuta reaches for his pocket, "here." and sticks his middle finger out playfully. Johnny swats it away.

"Woah there-" Jaehyun almost bust a gut while laughing. "You're definitely new to this. We don't have any." He tells Johnny. "Don't be such a narc." 

Way too defensively, Johnny retorts, "I'm not!"

"That's what they all say." Yuta shrugs with a chuckle.

 He spends the rest of the afternoon with them and surprisingly hasn't dealt with unusual rituals and behavior. They acted their age, playing games on a PS5, drinking soda until their bladders exploded, filling themselves with junk food and spray cheese. He could be wrong about them after all.

----

Days passed and not a single thing has led them closer to their target person, it was harder than they thought even when everything felt like it was right in front of them. 

"Student-Parent day is coming soon, are you going?" You ask Mark as you take a sip of your coffee. 

You took him to your favorite coffee shop for the first time, it's a nice and quiet place for you to study and relax. 

"They have those?" Mark hesitates because then he'd have to tell his parents that he's undercover and they'd forget and blow it for him. "I guess so." 

"Good. Because I'd like you to meet my parents." You smile. Though you didn't know where you stood with Mark, the past few weeks with him had been a breath of fresh air. He was kind, funny and supportive. He was simple yet his ways of showing his thoughts were sophisticated, never had you once thought that you would get along so well with a person in such a short time. You weren't the one to ask for labels though. You simply liked to enjoy whatever you had at the moment. In your experience, putting labels on things just always gave a reason for it to vanish. 

"What why?" He says, a little too surprised.

"Look Kalen, don't break a sweat with this. I'm just going to introduce you. They won't mind." You assure him. 

He simply leaves the topic behind and ponders on how he could make this work. He was scared because you had no idea that this was all temporary, and he's terrified by the fact that he wishes it wasn't. He was finding all the possible reasons and excuses to retract himself from this relationship he has with you, but all you ever gave him was a reason to stay. It broke his heart knowing that one day, he'll have to disappoint you with the truth. 

"Something wrong?" 

He snaps out of it. "Nothing." and forces a smile. 

-----

"We aren't making any progress man," Mark runs a hand through his hair and sighs. His back falls heavily on his bed.

Johnny anxiously bites his lap, eyes fixated on the floor. "Yuta has a tattoo…" 

"What?" the younger jolts up. 

Johnny backs up defensively, "But it wasn't the one we saw! You know how the tattoo artist said he's done a couple of those."

"Are you shitting me right now? We've been trying to find it for weeks! Why didn't you tell me?" His voice raises, and a vein on his forehead couldn't help but emerge. 

"I don't think it's him man, I told you it’s not the same tattoo" Johnny defends. 

Mark lets out a pungent laugh, poking his tongue on the inside of his cheek, his jaw stiffens. "Right. I knew it. " He says in disbelief. "Everything's right in front of you already! Too scared to bust your new besties now?" 

"They aren't my new besties stop making up bullshit." The elder stubbornly defends. 

"No you stop because I'm actually trying here!" 

"Oh you are? Explain why you're getting so serious with that girl of yours. Wait until she finds out that she's just part of the plan." He jumps on Mark's throat and walks out of the room. 

The thing is, you weren't even part of the plan. Not at all. 

-----

"You better have good shit for me today." The chief clearly was not being in his best mood today. 

Mark scoffs, he and Johnny had not settled their differences since the fight from two days ago, they were doing their own investigations without communicating. Which was a big no.

"Ask the big guy here, I'm sure he has something." Tongue in his cheek, Mark glares. 

The chief slams a big hand on the table and shouts, "Stop acting like fucking children!" 

Johnny stiffened up on his seat, and gulped before he spoke. "I think we need to initiate a drug test on one of the students, chief. I have my eye on this one person. We could pretend to say that the thing is randomized and mandatory. If the intel can look up information about his parents, we could send a pretend automated message about their child being randomly selected for a drug test." 

The chief seems to be taking Johnny's point well, "And who is this you suspect?" 

"Nakamoto Yuta." 

Mark looks at Johnny with wide eyes, he thought Johnny wouldn't be turning him in. 

"I see. I'll get the department to execute this idea of yours and we'll let you know right away. Dismissed." 

Mark catches up to Johnny who had been walking ahead of him and tries to reach for the elder's shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me?" 

"Let go of me," Johnny knocks Mark's hand off his shoulder. "Are you happy now?" 

Dumbfounded, Mark couldn't seem to understand where Johnny's irritation was coming from. "Look man, I'm sorry you had to turn one of your friends in but you know it's our job." 

"I know okay? I don't need you telling me what to do because so far, I know pretty damn well that I'm not meddling in your fucking business." 

Mark pushes a hard hand on Johnny, making him stumble a little. "My relationship has nothing to do with this. Are you jealous? Because if you are, I know pretty damn well you can score a lot of chicks here. I don't see the problem." 

Johnny tries to speak but was unable to because Mark had already stormed off elsewhere. 

----

 "Shit. My parents are coming to fetch me today." Yuta runs a veiny hand through his ginger hair; another reason for his parents to pull him out of university. But here's the first: 

Jaehyun, disinterested even if he knew it was serious whenever Yuta's parents butt in and ask why.

"They wanna do a drug test on me." 

Jaehyun chortles, "What? You? What made them think that? Besides you acting like a crackhead?" 

"They got this stupid email from the dean that I was amongst the randomly chosen individuals to get tested." He pops a sour kid patch in his mouth, "They're never letting this go." He pinches the bridge of his nose and shakes his head. "I have never even tried NCT." he rolls his eyes. 

Yuta, though by the looks of him, gave an impression of a boy who would try everything in front of him, but he's a wuss with a good conscience. Too good.

"Well, you are innocent after all, right?" Jaehyun shrugs. "There's nothing to worry about. Um, besides your dyed hair, your tattoo, that lip piercing." He eyes him up and down. "No biggie, just probably uh—two weeks worth of grounding. And no allowance." 

"Fuck you man." the ginger-haired boy glared.

------

Johnny walks around the campus, alone. It sucked to not be on good terms with Mark, what ever happened to bros before hoes? It just wasn't the same doing things without him. Johnny had given Mark his personal space for the both of you, but at times like this—it was the hardest to stay out of it. 

As he passes by the back of the Fine Arts building, he sees two familiar faces on the exposed staircase. 

He squints his eyes and tries to focus on who those people might be, the mop of ash purple hair too familiar. But one thing that utterly shocked him was the sight of someone he expected the least.

It was you and Jaehyun, standing way too close to each other for anyone's liking.

Johnny takes a deep breath and sucks in his cheeks. He didn't know what this meant, and he wished he wouldn't have to be the one to give it any interpretation that would disappoint him and especially Mark. 

He walks away from the scene before you get a chance to see him.

"Jaehyun, you don't have to stand this close to me," You backed up, hips hitting the ledge lightly. 

He looks to the side, then back at you. "Sorry," he cockily says, backing up with both of his hands raised. "Can't help it. My best friend's too fine. And someone was looking." he mumbles.

"What?" 

"Nothing, he's gone"

"You know I'm with Kalen right now Jaehyun." You say with worry, it could've been anyone. "Quit. Don't ruin this for me." 

He manages to let a disgruntled chuckle, "And yet you still can't put a label on it." 

And with that, he was off. 

The entire time Johnny was battling with himself if she should tell Mark about what he saw or not. Them being in a misunderstanding right now doesn't change the fact that he was still his best friend. 

After the excruciatingly slow walk to the dorm, he had hoped that Mark wouldn't be around, so he wouldn't have to face him with the information he had right away. He couldn't even form the words for it. The. again, when did anything ever go his way, right? 

Johnny enters the room and there was Mark, munching on some chips while viewing something on his laptop. Something probably for one of his classes. Mark didn't have to take this so seriously (by this he meant his classes) but he did, because the Mark we all know just loved to learn. Good for him. 

He ignores Johnny's presence; though he was very much aware of it. The elder plops down his bed and grabs his football to toss around. It was so awkward; not greeting each other with their usual weirdness and excitement. It felt like there was this gaping hole between them that both of them were afraid to cross, and no one had the initiative to take a risk—for now. 

"Find anything?" Johnny asks Mark, eyes on the ceiling. 

"Nope." 

"Why not?" 

"Do you have anything?"

Well, he did. But not about their task. Instead, he says "Nope." but he couldn’t help but ask. “How are you and y/n?”

“Good.” Mark plainly answers.

“Good.”

And left it at that. 

-----

You were going to let your parents meet Mark today, and his would meet yours. You were new to this, there was not a single man you had introduced to your parents, aside from Jaehyun. But that was a different story, because Jaehyun was a childhood friend. 

So Mark was the first… whatever this was called. You couldn’t get yourself to call him that, you didn’t deserve to. For you labels were earned, not just given. But this will do for now. 

You see him from a distance with his parents, he resembled his father’s face structure and his mother’s eyes. His smile was uniquely his own. You wave a hand in the air and he catches the sight of it, smiling even wider. 

“You’re in college again honey?” Mark’s mom asks, clueless.

“Mom, I'm undercover please don’t bring that up anywhere. Please keep quiet for me.” He whispers sternly. 

His mom zips her mouth figuratively, his dad got the idea of the whole thing, so they acted according to the assignment. 

As he got closer to where you were, his legs grew weak. But he couldn’t falter, he had to put on a strong face. But at that moment, Mark wanted to be buried alive. He wanted to turn his back and run away.

“Mom, dad, this is Kalen.” You present him to them with a grin. 

“H-hello.” Mark lets out, his chest clenching. 

“Kalen. You sure I haven’t seen you before?” Your father says, gripping Mark’s hand firm, he could almost squeeze the guts out of it. Your father was his deputy chief. 

Mark, crushed under the man’s grip, “N-no sir.” he manages to blurt out. 

You sense the tension and tell your dad, “Dad, that’s enough.” 

Your dad let go, with a smug and bitter look on his face. Your mom, who- with absolutely no idea what Mark has to do with your father, greets him politely. 

You greet Mark's parents with glee, and proceed to walk with him, keeping a fair distance from both your parents. "Sorry about my dad, he's just stressed about his job. He's a deputy chief, rustling with knuckleheads all the time." You explain. 

Sure he's been through a lot. Mark thought. "Yea yea, I totally get it. It's fine." he nods. Knuckleheads. He laughs to himself. 

The rest of the parents’ day event was a total drag, every time Mark got into eye contact with their chief, it had seemed like the man wanted to rip his head away from his body, or maybe skin him alive. Mark had no idea, because if he did he wouldn’t have risked going this far with you. What is left to do now? How can he ever face his boss knowing that he broke the first rule given to them right in his face? And with his own daughter? He should start digging his own grave at this point. 

But the chief didn't lay a finger on him, not now when his daughter was at stake. 

----

Mark has been itching to tell Johnny about what had happened. He was willing to set aside their differences because he needed his best friend, now. 

"Johnny-" Mark breathes, not making eye contact with the elder who was on his phone, this room had been dead silent for days. 

Johnny's head perks up, it was nice hearing him call his name again. "Yeah?" 

"I kinda messed up… big time." Mark scratches the back of his head, shameful. 

Johnny sits up, and listens to the younger more attentively. "What do you mean?" 

"Y/n.." he trails off, "Y/n is the chief's daughter." And catches his face on his hands. 

"Fuck…" Johnny didn't know what to say. "How'd you know?" 

"The student-parent weekend thing. God, I swear dude he was going to skin me alive if he could. But shit, I didn't know!" Mark exclaims, hands all over the place. "If I did then I wouldn't have gone through with this. She has never told me about her parents until that day. I don't know what to do." 

He seemed so helpless, he didn't want to break to you like this, it was too messy. But damn if he didn't want to keep being with you. It couldn't end like this, not yet. 

"I- I don't know what to say man… God I'm sorry this sucks ass. You know I always let you do what makes you happy right? But what if," Johnny stops, debating if he should go on with what he planned to say. 

"What if?" Mark anticipates. 

"What if she isn't who you thought she was?" 

"Great. I'm so fucking stupid for thinking you would be with me on this one." Mark slams his hands on his lap and stands, slamming the door on the way out. 

"Mark-" Johnny reaches for the door but misses a beat, it was too late. He let his best friend slip away from him again. 

And as soon as Mark left their room, he was on his way to meet up with you, hoping you would be free. He hadn't had much time with you after the following days of the event because you had always excused yourself with how busy you are with your submissions and requirements, or that's what you would like to tell him. 

Your phone rings in your pocket as you excuse yourself from the people you were with at the moment, when you check to see who it was, you find the quietest place possible. 

"Kalen," You spoke, "What's up?" 

"Are you free? I was hoping I'd finally catch you." 

You sigh, you missed spending time with him. "I am," you say in advance before you bail out of this place you were in. "See you at the cafe in 10?" 

You hear him chuckle over the line, and you just knew he was smiling when he said "Great, I'll see you." 

"See you, Kal." You smile and tuck your phone back in your pocket. 

"Who was that?" Jaehyun asks when he bumps into you in the hallway of the frat house. "Oh you've got that sickening smile right now. It must've been Kalen" He rolls his eyes. 

"Whatever Jae," You brush past him. "I'm heading out." 

"But we're not done!" 

You didn't respond and left, shutting the door behind you. 

The cafe was a short walk from your university, but you just happened to bump into Mark on the way, now you don't have to walk alone. 

He smoothly slips his hand in yours, holding it gently and reading your expression. You look to the side with a wide grin on your face, unable to help the fact that you were blushing like crazy. 

"Nice hoodie," he comments. The garment looked a little too familiar to him, he just couldn't quite put his finger on it. “You never gave back my jacket..”

You mentally facepalm, forgetting the fact that you were wearing Jaehyun's hoodie. You pray that Mark wouldn't see this on him anytime soon, you wouldn't want him to get a bad idea. 

"Oh right that, I’ll get it dry cleaned and I’ll give it back" you utter. "Something bothering you?" You ask, trying to read his sulky expression. 

He shakes his head, "No no, I want you to keep it. And I just missed you." He forms a small smile, making your heart melt. You were so easily captivated by his presence that it scared you. He always left you feeling unhinged—in a good way. 

"I missed you too, tiger." You grip his hand a little tighter.  

When he licks his lips, only by then you realize how much you missed kissing him. Right then and there, you just wanted another taste. This was exactly why you were trying to keep yourself busy and away from him for a bit; you had to convince yourself that you couldn’t be attached to him because you could never take care of the things you keep. 

He opens the door for you like always and the chimes in the cafe ring in a sweet melody, a sound that always reminds you of your moments with him. The both of you always shared comfortable memories in this cafe, from small coffee dates to working on papers until it closed. You couldn’t imagine sharing it with anyone else. 

When you settle down he automatically takes your usual orders right away. You could not take your eyes off him, he was such a dream.

He sets the tray down with your drinks, and a pastry that you shared a love-hate relationship with. Cheesecake.

You chuckle at the thought of recalling all the times that you convinced Mark that cheesecake slices weren’t supposed to be as huge as they are and that there are definitely better one’s in other places, but Mark’s favorite was Starbucks’. Maybe that’s why you have learned to love it somehow, because you get to enjoy it with him. 

"I thought you didn't like this? You almost finished the whole thing… I literally bought this for myself." He says sarcastically, very much amused at how you barely even noticed that you were close to finishing the entire thing. 

"Oh shit.. sorry" You show him a pout and feed the last piece to him. "Here." You smile cutely. 

He rolls his eyes and bites it off your fork, you both bid goodbye to the cheesecake. 

Mark’s phone rings in his pocket and when he checks to see, it was Johnny. He lets out a sigh and puts his phone back in his pocket. 

“Are you going to take that?” You ask. 

“Nah”

But Johnny was persistent, he did see this coming. He knew that Mark would ignore him at first so he decided to send him a message. This was about their job. 

“Mark, I know you hate me right now but we have to go to the office. Yuta’s tests came back.” Johnny sends. 

Mark takes a peek at his message, immediately standing up. 

“Where are you going?” You say, surprised. 

“I’m sorry I gotta go- meet my brother. He needs me for something.” He hesitantly leans forward, wanting to kiss you on the lips but kisses your forehead instead. “Text me when you get home okay?.” And with that, he was off. 

Mark rings Johnny and the elder quickly answers the call, Mark informs him that he would be heading to the office by himself since he was already closer to the location. 

But he suddenly remembers about his conflict with the chief. So he waited for Johnny to arrive outside. 

Lowering his pride he says, “I’m scared.” 

Johnny looks at him with empathy and says, “We can’t change what happened Mark. Just take it all in for now and we’ll figure out what to do about it later.” He pats the younger’s back and gives his shoulders an assuring squeeze before heading inside. 

Mark could not look at his boss, the feeling of wanting to be eaten alive was back again, why did he have to be your father? 

When Mark finally gets the courage to face him, the chief yells, “The fuck are you looking at?” making Mark flinch and shrink into his seat. 

Johnny felt the need to protect his friend and at the same time, to get what they were really here for. “Um, Sir can you save the ass beating for next time? We really need to look into Yuta’s results now.” He scratches the back of his neck. 

The chief grunts angrily, getting the file from his drawer. “Negative.” He says. 

Mark and Johnny give each other a look and take the folder that had the results, trying to analyze how it could possibly be negative. 

“Dammit.” Johnny whispers to himself, they had to move quickly before everything slips away from them. He takes note of Yuta’s contact number in the file to use for later. He closes the folder and places it back on the desk. “We’ll take care of this chief.” 

“You better. And you,” He presses a hard finger on Mark’s chest, “Stop fucking around with my daughter. I’ll cut your dick off.” 

Mark purses his lips before speaking, “She’s-” he gulps, “She’s really great sir. I’m not playing around with her. I’d never do anything to hurt her.” 

“You already are.” 

-----

The following day, Yuta receives a text from an unknown number, asking him to meet in an unusual location on campus. He was very skeptical at first but  believed that it was probably harmless. 

“Yah, Rolan! Sup.” He offers his fist to bump. “I was just waiting for someone here too. Some random number texted me and I was like "you know, fuck it"” he shrugs.

Johnny couldn’t help but chuckle. Was innocence even the word to describe this? "And you believed them?" Johnny shakes his head.

“Yeah! Look here’s the number” he flashes his phone screen to Johnny, “I wonder where they are. Let me give them a call.” he mindlessly puts the phone next to his ear. Yuta hears a muffled cellphone ringtone and looks around for it. “Yo, your phone’s ringing you should get that.” Yuta says to Johnny, still having absolutely no idea.

“It was us who texted you, dummy.” Mark retorts, appearing from the shadows, now both of them are cornering Yuta. 

“Yo,-” Yuta laughs, still not getting the point of this all. “What’s your name again?” 

Mark rolls his eyes, “Kalen.” 

“Right! Kalen wassup? You’re his brother right?” Yuta points to Johnny with his thumb up.

Johnny pops a tongue in his cheeks, and cocks his brow. “Alright, fun’s over.” It was a shame he had to do this too early, but it had to stop. He locks Yuta’s throat with his arm, pushing him onto the solid brick wall. 

Yuta tries to toughen up and tries to push Johnny’s arm off, but due to their size difference, Johnny definitely kept him still. 

“What do you know about him” Johnny asks sternly. 

“A-about who?” Yuta coughs.

“Jaehyun. What does he do?” Mark follows. 

“Besides being the most handsome man I know, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Mark shakes his head, “Well,” and gets a gun out of the pocket of his hoodie. “Will this make you talk?”

Yuta looks at him with wide eyes, he was now scared shitless. “Why- how- who are you guys!” He exclaims. 

“The police mother fucker.” Johnny says. 

But despite everything, Yuta’s tactless mouth was definitely not his best asset. “I knew it. you looked too old to be a freshman.” He looks over at Johnny. “And you, I didn’t expect you to be a cop but you did give Narc vibes in that philosophy class.” 

Mark and Johnny give each other a look, they could not be sidetracked. 

“Are you done?” Johnny tells Yuta, and he simply nods. “So are you going to talk?”

“I’m telling you I don’t know! He never trusts me with his business, he says I have a big mouth.” 

Mark snickers, “I can tell.”

Yuta scoffs, and follows, “He’s been out often recently, but he never tells me where he’s going. So I don’t know what I can do for you.” 

“Listen here buddy,” Johnny warns. “If this gets to your parents that you’re involved with someone who supplies and distributes drugs, you’re going to get your entire family deported. Do you want that?” 

Yuta gulps, “No.” then helplessly says, “I don’t know how to earn his trust with these kinds of things. He’s known me since forever but-” 

“No buts.” Mark interrupts. “Use that head of yours or your ass is going back to Japan.” 

-------

Yuta had been on edge ever since that encounter with Mark and Johnny, now this entire thing would be up to him if he cooperated or not. Yuta’s heart had been lost a couple times, but it was definitely looking to be in the right place. So he’s trying his best to help out, even if it meant that he would have to turn in his best friend. 

When he gets the time to be alone with his thoughts he looks back at all the times that Jaehyun had made him feel like he wasn’t enough to be his friend. Not giving him a good position in football, walking out on him whenever he wanted to, keeping secrets from him. Maybe he was too busy trying so hard to be validated by Jaehyun that he never really got to realize that he lost himself in the process. Letting himself be trampled all over by everyone; this was his time to do something not just for himself, but for everyone else.

On the night when Jaehyun could not escape from Yuta’s presence any longer, he thought that it would be harmless to let his friend tag along for once. It’s not like he had other friends to be with, right? Right. Jaehyun could believe that if he wanted to. 

“I’m a bit sore today, you think you can drive me?” Jaehyun asks Yuta as they were walking in the parking lot after practice. 

To be fair, Yuta was sore too. But of course they wouldn’t care. “Alright, where to?” He still manages to say. 

“I’ll tell you along the way.” 

Yuta simply shrugs and Jaehyun tosses him his car keys, placing their gym bags at the trunk of his car. Jaehyun had given him directions while driving and it was somewhere he had never been and seen before. “Are you sure it’s here?” He says, trying to drive into a dark abandoned building with only the car’s headlights being the source of light. 

“Yeah yeah, wait for me here.” Jaehyun opens the door of the car and slips away from it. “Don’t worry, this place is safe.” He tells Yuta and shuts the door close. 

Yuta immediately whips out his phone, thinking that this might be his biggest clue and texts Johnny. 

I don’t know where I am, but I’m gonna send you my pinned location based on what my gps says alright? I think this was where Jaehyun had been going. 

Johnny immediately tells Mark about this and they immediately take their car to go to where Yuta had told them. 

 Rolan: Yuta, it’s not safe for you to stay there. Can you drive away and head back here? It would be better if we keep you alive. 

I guess I could, Jaehyun’s pretty far out now. I saw him go in somewhere, I’m sure you’ll find this entrance when you get here.

With that Yuta drives off and tries to find his way back to the campus, hoping that this would be successful for Mark and Johnny. He had such a strong feeling about this, everything could go right, or just extremely wrong. But he had to expect both to keep his feet on the ground. He did the right thing. He kept telling himself that. 

“Dude this place is sketchy as hell.” Mark says, looking around. “Do you think Yuta told us the truth? I mean he’s Jaehyun’s bestfriend right?”

“It wouldn’t hurt to try Mark, he seemed pretty genuine about it. Besides, all Jaehyun does is use him. I’m sure he’s tired of it.” Johnny says as they searched the place with their flashlights, their guns ready to fire if they ever go under attack. 

Finally, they find the entrance Yuta has been talking about, the chain attached to the door unlocked and loosened. When they get closer they arm themselves and keep their guard, Johnny kicks the door open and Mark could not believe what he had just seen. 

This couldn’t be. He kept repeating to himself, he didn’t want to believe that this was his reality. 

The reality that you were the one who was behind all of this.

“Hands up! We’re the police.” Johnny shouts, echoing throughout the entire warehouse. 

Mark gulps, he could not bring himself to move his feet and go closer. When you see him, you feel like you have been the biggest disappointment in someone’s life. “Kalen,” You plead with your hands up, terrified with the fact that Johnny had called off a warning shot, making you and Jaehyun back up. 

“Y/n.” Mark says, still struggling to get closer to you and lift his arm to aim his gun towards you. “Why- how could you?”

And you couldn’t answer him. The last thing you ever wanted to do was disappoint him, and yet you turned out to be every single disappointment that this world could think of. 

“Great.” Jaehyun says in anger, remorseful with the fact that both of you just got caught by the two people who had been the closest to you these past months. 

“Mark, come on. This is just as hard as it is for me than it is for you. We have to do this. It’s all we’ve been working for.” Johnny faces him, also extremely disheartened by this revelation.

Mark? His real name was Mark? “Who’s Mark?” You ask before he continues to approach you.

“Right. Now you know.” He takes a deep breath. He gets his handcuffs out of his pocket and races towards you before you could even get away. It was bizarre; how you even thought of escaping this. 

“You have the right to remain silent,” His hands shake while putting them against your back, “Anything that you say can and will be held against you in the court of law.” He swallows, and you sob. 

 “I’m so sorry I-” he cuts you off.

“You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you.” He concludes the Miranda rights and adds, “It’s one thing to disappoint me, but another to disappoint your father.”

-----end------

[vanessagib]

Small Victories

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader

*gif not mine*

AN: this idea is solely based off of that trend going around on tik tok a while back. where the bf was busy playing video games and the s/o crawls into their lap to get their attention. Thank you @sweetandsunny for looking over this!!

Summary: Aaron Hotchner is always, non stop, working and reader makes sure to help take care of him whenever he tends to overwork himself.

Genre: pure fluffiness

Word Count: 1k

Warnings: mentions of food; bad eating habits, aaron overworking himself, touch starved reader

masterlist

Aaron Hotchner is a workaholic. That much was a given.

He will spend until the earliest mornings working himself down to the bone. Sometimes when he is working, he is so caught up in his own little world of “I need to get this done”, he loses track of time. Therefore, he doesn’t take care of himself the way he should.

Now I, well, I am a very touch starved—clingy—person. And of course, Aaron was highly aware of this when we started dating but it is very hard to get out of old habits.

When we got into this relationship, I set a goal for myself to take care of this man until the end. So, whenever I was ready to leave the building for the night, I'd drag his ass along with me. There was no doubt he snuck a few reports in his briefcase and went home just to continue working. There was one night where I quite literally caught him doing just that. It made me beyond furious since he barely gets sleep as it is.

I drove him home but he left his suit jacket in the car. So, me being the person to not wait the next day to give it to him, in case of questioning eyes, I made my way back to his apartment to drop it off.  

When he opened the door with a furrowed brow, I realized he was, in fact, still in his work attire. I walked right into his home, went straight towards his office, took the reports, and continued to gently place them back in his briefcase. Obviously with complaints from the man, but I ignored it. From there on out I always made a mental note to walk into his apartment and make sure he was actually getting his well-deserved rest rather than working his ass off.  

Now that we live together, I've begun to take notice of how often this man eats. Adding “make him a home cooked meal as often as possible” to my list of: Helping Aaron take care of himself because he, a grown man, doesn’t know how to. Tonight was one of those nights where everyone just wanted, no, needed to get home and collapse onto their warm beds and sleep for hours on end.

We all just got back from a long, gruesome case that ended as happily as it could get. Everyone was quick to finish the case report and leave. Me knowing Aaron, he was nowhere near done with his night of endless files.

I dragged out finishing mine to give him as much time needed. When I was done, I made my way up to his office ready to physically pull his stubborn ass away to eat dinner and sleep.  

“Pack your stuff we’re going home.” I yawned out.

“I just have a few more to finish up here, then we can be on our way.” he offered without even looking up from his current file.

“Well, how ‘bout I let you take the last few home? So, you can change and at least eat something?” urging him lightly.  

“Alright, okay yeah. Let me just pack up.”

It would usually take 10 years to convince him to leave but he looked overly exhausted thus, making him cave quickly.

Returning home, I paid Jack's babysitter while Aaron made his way upstairs briefly thanking her for watching after him. I shortly explained the case and how it was taking its personal toll on everyone. She told me about her week with Jack and what they did to pass time. It never came to a surprise whenever she told me how well behaved he always is. He did have an amazing father who tried his very best to raise him well.

As Aaron was changing, I started cooking up some dinner. Just a quick pasta with vegetable based red sauce and garlic bread.  

He stops into Jack's room to give him goodnight hugs and kisses and makes his way downstairs to eat.

I already set the table and even though I'd kill for wine right now I give us both glasses of water.

Dinner is silent. It’s a comfortable, tired filled silence.

“I'm going to finish up the work I have left and then meet you in our bedroom.”

“Okay. But Aaron please come to bed soon. It is already 1 in the morning and it has been a long few days. You need rest.” I had an inkling that he wasn’t going to bed within the hour.

“Of course, I'll see you up there?”

“I'll be waiting.” giving him a tired smile.

There is no way I will be going to sleep without him cuddled next to me.

When it hits 3 am, he still hasn’t made his way to bed. Even though I knew he wasn’t going to bed anytime soon, I was exhausted and I needed to be wrapped into his arms to sleep peacefully. Otherwise, that makes two sleep deprived people.

Making my way down stairs and into his office, I can see within the crack of the door his fast pace writing and motivated, barely awake, face. I silently inch to where he’s sitting and carefully crawl into his lap, resting my face on his chest.

Aaron was now forced out of doing his work, draping his arms around my body. He takes a second to breathe in my scent before he continues working but not before he gives a few quick kisses on my head. Within seconds I gracefully fell into a deep sleep cuddled in his arms.

When Aaron finishes the paperwork he was working on, he decides now would be a good time to go to sleep. Especially since the position I'm in won't be comfortable when I wake up tomorrow morning.

All but gingerly, he wakes me up and delicately brings us up to bed.

It may have been 3:30 in the morning and I was barely conscious, but I couldn’t help the tiny smile that spread across my face, taking this as a small victory. 

(if you enjoyed please consider reblogging and tell me what you think!!)

Taglist:

@sweetandsunny @measure-in-pain @spencerreid-187