#i also signed up for a contest so i have another short story going on (kinda) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sparksqfly · 1 year

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⭒dancing with our hands tied ❆

"because i care about you, i cared about you for the past five years. i'll care about you every day of my life. i care about your well-being because i love you."

figure skating, enemies to lovers

synopsis: modern au , figure skating- after five years of hating ellie williams you are forced to get to know her better in a contest that is more important than how much you hate her or want to kiss her. but ellie always gets under your skin whether it's good or bad but now it's your turn to be professional.

auhor's note: originally this history was going to be published in the pride amount, but due to scheduling issues or priority to other stories i couldn't do it. you know how the deal is, there are several references to taylor swift and possibly mistakes in some parts since english is not my first language, thanks for reading <3

warnings!/about ths story: this is pure fluff, no angst or smut. just a cute story i came up with one day in class. there are mentions of reader wearing a dress and makeup but you can change it to your liking as there are all kinds of appearance options for ice skating competitions. speaking of which, this story is probably not the best representation of the sport but because i have never done it. sorry if any pros are reading this, i did my best. there is a scene of a man being a jerk and mentions of violence, caused by this man and the sport itself, joel is referred to as ellie's dad and ellie and reader are both 19.

wc: 7,8k (sorry)

you remembered when you hated ellie. it was that short and that clear. you were only 12 years old and had just started taking professional ice skating lessons. your mother was very strict and wanted you to excel at something, no matter what it was. so when you started watching ice skating competitions on television your mother didn't hesitate for a second to sign you up for professional lessons at the best ice skating center she could find.

"remember you always have to be the best, honey" said your mother giving you a kiss on the forehead the first day of your lessons. she left you in the hands of the coach, grabbed her bag and left. you wouldn't lie that was one of the first days you really felt anger towards her. she was the one who wanted you to do this stupid sport, because of her need for you to excel in something. "ok, y/n come with me to the track. let's get started straight up, we're here to help you." that was the first time you saw ellie, she was at the rink with another trainer. holding on but she looked ready to let go and start skating on her own. "that's it baby girl! very well done!" a gray-haired man with a grin from ear to ear admired her as he pointed to another "look how she does it!"

"she's ellie, it's only her third class and she looks like she's rocking it" you nodded. It was obvious that you, as a person who had been raised on the whole to excel at absolutely everything and be the best, didn't like that a little girl who had "three classes" seemed to excel at everything. especially since by the time your class time was over you had already fallen more than thirty times and, on the other side of the rink, ellie seemed happy and calm skating back and forth almost without falling.

over the next few years you continued to take lessons, and found that you were happy that your mother had been so insistent that you do it. you had developed a real passion for the sport and when you turned fifteen, you started to specialize in figure skating, you kept up all the things you had learned in your lessons over the last three years and you were lucky that everyone supported you and believed in you. another thing that had stayed with you was your rivalry with ellie, she had also specialized in figure skating and had obviously stayed in the same club as you, sometimes even having her training right after. "wassup muffin" ellie used to say to you whenever you left the rink to get her to come in, you hated her. that nickname had been born two years ago, from a day when trying to turn on the move with some new skates you had slipped, not seeing that ellie was right behind you and you had made her fall too. "testing if I was comfortable to land?" ellie teased you as you tried to get up recovering from the dizziness "fuck you elizabeth" you told her, trying to get her to understand that you weren't in the mood for that shit right now. ellie laughed even though she tried to hide it "what the fuck is your problem?" you turned around facing her, ellie was still lying on the floor, amused. "why elizabeth?" you rolled your eyes "it's your fucking name, isn't it?" "no, it's just ellie" you rolled your eyes again "whatever".

you went back to your trainer to continue your routine. "everything okay over there?" asked frank, looking over your shoulder at ellie "she's a fucking idiot, you know that" you said trying to completely remove the ice splattered in your hair. "she's a nice girl, she likes you" tried to convince you frank "i don't like her then, i can't stand her" you rolled your eyes. "ok, let's get back to what we were doing. ellie... can you not" sighed frank, when you wanted to turn around you felt ellie's hand around your shoulders playfully and she put her mouth close to one of your ears "since you were kind enough to give me a nickname, now i'll call you muffin, what do you think?" laughed ellie and smiled at you with all her teeth. "motherfucker..." you were really about to attack her when frank and ellie's trainer stood between the two of you, preventing any idiocy you could do. "you two have had enough, haven't you?" bill tried to tell ellie "don't worry, we're fine." ellie smiled and disappeared, propelling herself backwards on her skates.

it was weird to say, especially if you took into account the way that every time more than three minutes passed you ended up yelling at her, but you had fallen in love with her. it took you a long time to realize that this was what was happening with you. yes, you were jealous of her and she annoyed you. too much, but you wanted to kiss her and punch her face at the same time. maybe you wanted to kiss her more.

it was a secret you would take to your grave anyway. by the time you realized how much you were in love with her you hated each other and she was getting on your nerves. what were you going to do? tell her out of the blue "oh ellie, i know i yelled at you for two hours but i've liked you for years and iI’m madly in love with you. no." no.

besides that you knew you could never be together. it would be impossible for her to reciprocate and if you did, you were both partners. you were rivals, you had to be professional. she wasn't your friend, she was your competition and you had to be better than her.

now the 2022-2023 season was starting, you knew that your club was aspiring to be able to compete in a national olympics with its best skaters and you were happy about it. you headed to the gym, you knew you had to start training for the choreographies and that bill and frank who had been having fun last summer since they had gotten married and bought the center had a proposal to make to you. when you walked through the door you found several people, all acquaintances scattered around the gym and ellie in the background running on a treadmill with bill timing her. "hey princess" frank greeted you and you went to hug him. you hadn't seen him in almost a month since you couldn't complete the summer season due to an ankle injury that had really screwed you up. "frankie, it looks like you have some great news for today" he touched your shoulder affectionately. "god willing," he kissed your forehead and called everyone to gather around.

after a while everyone finally sat on the floor waiting for the news, ellie leaned against one of the walls with a bottle of water, she also had not been able to continue with the summer season because in a figure skating session with her partner she had hurt her eyebrow with the blade of her skate, it had left a noticeable scar on her left eyebrow. "ok, now that we are all together we have some good news to tell you" said frank "some of you know that our institution has had some problems with the people who moderate the competitions, but finally we have been able to recompose the negotiations and last year and we were able to send margarita to compete in the under fifteen years old competitions" frank pointed to the girl who looked at the others with a smile on her face. "this year we have a chance to compete in the major leagues!" he said with a big smile, everyone smiled and looked at him impressed, you knew that many years ago your ski center had stopped participating in competitions to focus on being a more local and community sport club, but it seems that now they wanted to do it again. "and who's going to do it?" asked one of the girls raising her hand.

bill stepped in front of the group, freeing frank from having to communicate the choices. "well, clearly we have an amazing and talented group but we think those who best represent our values are ellie and y/n" everyone seemed surprised but pleased with the choice. some even applauded. "congratulations girls, you will start your training tomorrow" said frank and you smiled at him. it looks like it's going to be a long season.

"yes i'm asking you in a good way to hold that fucking rope so i can finish this fucking exercise it's the only job you have williams" you yelled at ellie "i didn't fucking do it on purpose! you're taking this too personal" "how the fuck do you want me to take it, you fucking idiot? you almost made me fall, are you so scared of me that you want to knock me out of the competition with your bare hands?" "what the fuck are you insinuating y/n" shouted ellie, throwing the rope you were using to stretch your muscles to the floor "enough, both of you!" frank stepped between the two of you, it was already the fourth time this week. "did you hear what she just said? she's accusing me!" ellie said to him, looking at bill for support. "if the shoe fits..." you provoked her "y/n, please." you rolled your eyes and grabbed your bag "training's over, right?" frank sighed and nodded. without another word you left the gym and headed for the locker room.

you locked yourself in a bathroom cubicle for a while, trying to calm your thoughts. maybe you were going too far with all the rivalry you had with each other, besides now ellie wasn't even your rival, you were competing for the same thing. because you had insinuated that she wanted to hurt you on purpose, anyway, it didn't matter. it was better if you hurt her, that's what you wanted. you sighed, walked out of the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror to wash your face.

as you were drying your face you saw ellie walk into the bathroom. she had her training bag slung over her shoulder, she quickly set it on the floor and pulled out a box of cigarettes, lighting one and setting the box down roughly on the marble of the sink, it was her curt way of offering you in case you wanted one. you rolled your eyes and dipped your hands a little more to smooth your hair. "you're an idiot, you know that right?" ellie broke the silence "more than you i don't think so" you countered her. "see? you always react like that. i can't say a fucking word without you snapping back at me" really? she really going to say that like she didn't know how much it bothered you that since she came into your life there wasn't a single day that she didn't bother you? "don't play dumb, williams. it doesn’t look cute on you" "don't call me that" oh my god, she was insufferable "isn't that your fucking last name?" "call me ellie, we've known each other for more than five years" insisted ellie "oh yes, i’m going to call you ellie because clearly we are both best friends and i have incredible memories with you, right els?" you ironized looking at her "we could have been friends" sighed ellie. you grabbed your bag and headed for the exit, but not before nudging ellie with your shoulder. friends?! oh god, you really wanted to fucking kill her.

it was the opening day of the contest. the atmosphere was too tense but at the same time you were having fun. these things don't happen all the time so you wanted to enjoy it, you had gathered with some of your friends to drink beer and watch the pre-opening and the opening itself with the ceremony, the choreography and the announcement of all the participants and institutions. you didn't want to admit it to yourself but you were also looking forward to seeing ellie's participation in the opening choreography. you knew that she had given her blood sweat and tears to get it right, in the last weeks you had seen her several times sleeping in the corridors of the gym and in the corridors leading to the ice rink. yesterday had been one of those days, she was lying on a bench in the locker room with her skates on and leaning uncomfortably on the bench, you had found out that she had been proposed to participate in the opening with too little anticipation and that was why she had to stay extra hours. when you saw her sleeping on the bench a force greater than you insisted that you had to take care of her, so without making noise you went to a closet and grabbed a blanket with which you carefully covered her and then grabbed her skates and put them next to her but not before removing the remaining ice. another thing you would never admit to yourself was the time you spent admiring her face, looking at her eyebrows with her new scar, the beautiful freckles that decorated her cheeks, her perfect nose and how her hair perfectly framed her face.

"y/n look!" jesse's voice snapped you out of your reverie. you watched the television with a local news channel on. on it appeared ellie, positioning herself with a wall papered with brand logos and the contest logo behind her, she looked gorgeous. several microphones approached her, were they doing interviews?

"miss williams! how do you see yourself for the opening today?" asked a reporter "it's your first national competition, are you nervous?" asked another black haired guy "could you give us more details about your life as a skater" "how does it feel to be the first skater to appear in the contest after so many conflicts" ellie looked at bill and frank unfocused by the amount of questions and by the flashlights that were starting to shoot in her face. after a nod from her coaches she looked at the reporter who had asked the last question "it's an honor, we've all been dreaming about this for years and I love representing my club at the opening" ellie responded with a smile "do you see you and your partner as contenders for the big medal?" asked a reporter "i definitely trust us but i don't want to detract from the other amazing contenders that are here, we all did a great job" "and speaking of your partner, y/n, she's been at this for several years too. you think you're going to do better than her? do you consider it a victory to be you opening the ceremony and not her?" ellie felt anger coursing through her body, she frowned but forced herself to calm down before responding. "not at all. y/n is focused on her choreography full time and due to scheduling issues, it was more convenient for me to do it, but if she had done it she would absolutely have killed it too. y/n is an incredibly talented girl, we have known each other since we both started in this and this is absolutely not a competition for either of us, i admire her a lot as a professional and i am sure this is her first step to show the world her talent and life will give her many, many opportunities bigger than this one. besides, there is no need to create rivalries between women, we both support each other, and we are partners".

"now, that is a big dick energy" said jesse turning to look at you. ellie's answer also surprised you "she has a crush on you" dina said settling down on the couch and leaving a cut pizza on the table "dee- what the fuck" you asked quizzically "i've always told you, the way that girl talks about you and how she reacts to you, gives me no choice but to think she is in love with you" you rolled your eyes and cracked open a beer. "that was ellie williams, first female skater representative from jackson, wyoming. born in california, she moved to wyoming to pursue her dreams and today she will make her national competition debut at the opening act in just a few hours." said the reporter talking about ellie to make time before the commercials. "she was born in boston, you asshole." dina and jesse burst out laughing “you two are going to be the cutest couple when you stop being so scary.

you were already on your third beer when they finished interviewing all the fucking contestants and announced that the opening performance was about to start. "finally, my god" you said and settled back on the couch "this is what we're going to have to go through when you perform, honey" dina said mockingly.

the presentation began. various fireworks, smoke flares and fabric shows appeared on the screen, giving it an important artistic detail. some ice skaters came out to move around the rink, one of the girls came out in a costume with two long pieces of fabric, she was dressed as a swan. after several ice skaters performances, two boys came out doing a choreography with classical music, it looked like a tribute to romeo and juliet. like the audience, you were surprised that they were two men, it was not common in skating. "look who's back there" whispered Jesse in your ear. right in the shot where they were taking the choreography, ellie could be seen in the background. she was at the low door of the rink holding herself and watching for the other guys to finish.

"that was beautiful" said dina wiping away a tear. the choreography had really was beautiful. two other older skaters, winners of previous editions, had appeared near the end. pretending to be the parents of romeo and juliet they ended up separating them and both boys acted out the tragic death of the two. "shhh, y/n's girlfriend is about to come out" said Jesse and you laughed ironically, a little blushed.

they finally showed a close-up of ellie's face entering the rink. she looked intimidated but happy. she never wore makeup but at that moment she was wearing some blush, and some little glitter pebbles spaced across her eyes, highlighting her emerald, green eyes. "she's beautiful" said dina "she really is" you said, mesmerized by her eyes. you heard some giggles coming from behind you but you were concentrating on ellie's every move. they focused for a few seconds on the audience who were showing confused faces. finally, when they focused on the rink, you saw how they had divided it in two with a black tape. you found it strange since they almost always recommended not to alter the track in any way as a precaution but something told you that ellie's presentation was the last one.

you saw her, she had a full black suit, some very thin feathers and more shiny stones decorated her outfit. her partner, on the other hand, was wearing an outfit that simulated a dress, completely white and full of feathers. taylor swift's "don't blame me" started to play in the venue. ellie began to move gracefully. picking up boost and doing little jumps that her partner imitated to perfection. it was a sort of "mirror performance". when the chorus of the song broke. ellie performed a triple axel. that trick consisted of jumping and doing three spins in the air on your own axis. the challenge was to land well, given the amount of weight put on the skate blade, and ellie performed it to perfection. however, her partner did not, she fell on her hands when she lost her balance.

from that moment on, she could not keep track of ellie, who moved ethereally around the ice rink looking unreal. a few seconds before the song ended, both changed places on the rink. ellie stayed on the light side and finished her performance with a two-foot spin. both spun for the last seconds of the song but you couldn't take your eyes off of ellie. who was doing it faster and with more grace.

finally, when the song ended, they focused on ellie. who smiled incredibly happy. she looked beautiful with her hair disheveled by the movement and blushing from all the physical effort she had made, she bowed to the audience and applause broke out. a black rose fell at her feet and she picked it up, brought it to her face to smell it and then stared at the camera with the rose in her hands. so beautiful, how could she be real?

the next day, when you arrived at the venue where you were going to compete, everyone was talking about the girl from the last choreography. how it was the first time they had seen her and they were amazed. you, for your part, couldn't believe how many times you had re-watched her performance on youtube, you didn't exaggerate that it was the best you had seen in a long time and it seemed you were not the only one who thought so.

you knew that ellie skated very well but you had never been interested in seeing her on ice, you only saw her rehearsing on the floor at the gym but she had definitely exceeded your expectations. you were a professional and knew when it was time to put differences aside and congratulate your "competition" so on the way you had bought a small bouquet of roses, to congratulate her. maybe it was too impersonal, but you didn't know what she might like.

you looked for her for a while until you found her with her back turned, wearing a jacket and a light blue flannel underneath. she was talking to one of the contest judges, the judge was congratulating her. she was saying that her choreography had made her hair stand on end and that ellie was going to go far. you waited for them to finish talking and made time leaving your bag in the corner. you pulled out your skates and set them aside. "ok little one, you have been brilliant and it was a pleasure to see you. i'll leave you with your friend, she looks like she wants to talk to you" ellie turned around, disoriented and when she saw you she turned back to the woman "thank you ma'am, i really appreciate it. wait till you see her, i'm sure you'll be even more surprised" ellie smiled at her and the juror left the room. smiling at you.

"i know you probably didn't expect this from me but, i really loved your performance yesterday. you were stunning" you told her, you could feel yourself blushing and she smiled even more "you are right, i didn't expect this" ellie told you and you took out the roses you kept hidden behind your back "i brought you roses, if i would have been in the audience i would have totally thrown them to you because you were amazing" ellie looked incredulous but happy. she took the roses from your hands smiling at you, your hands touched hers for a brief moment. she was warm "thank you y/n, i'm sure i'll be the one throwing roses at you today, you're going to be amazing" she had always been so nice? maybe if you two could become friends.

"are you going to make me wait any longer?" a voice interrupted you and ellie. you quickly broke away from her and saw aaron, your partner for today's choreography. ellie turned around quizzically. "jesus, calm down i’m almost done" you said rolling your eyes and taking off your shoes to put on your skates. "hurry up, they're going to take away our rink," he snapped her fingers at you and before you could answer she disappeared out the door. ellie watched you as you laced up your skates and put the blade guard on it. "are you... are you okay?" ellie asked you, doubtful. you knew exactly what she meant. "i'm fine ellie, don't worry, he's just a little strict."

you two practiced the choreography several times, they didn't get to complete it because every time something went wrong you practiced it until it was right. just when you were about to start the choreography to make it complete, a girl from the staff came to tell them that the next couple was going to enter to practice "we just want to practice the last part of the choreography, could you leave the music for us? they can stretch for two minutes" the girl nodded and went to talk to the people who were coming in, who conveniently were Ellie and another guy. "all right, do your thing," the girl him them and left. you grabbed aaron by the forearm. "i think we'd better go with the second version of the choreography; i don't know if we're ready to do it" "if you don't try you'll never know" insisted aaron.

they played the song for the last time, you were a little intimidated by ellie's presence on the rink. you were worried about invading her personal space and not allowing time for her to get her choreography right. rihanna's "diamonds" playing on the speakers as the song of choice for your choreography. the first part of the choreography didn't involve many tricks, it was just synchronicity between the two of you and some flips where you had to hold on to aaron. it got more complicated when the song drop, it was slow but sure. aaron's task was to pick you up in his arms and turn with you and then launch you to the other side of the rink, you had to turn in the air and land correctly. the trick was that he would throw you close to one of the rink edges, making it easier for you to get up once you landed.

this time it was obvious that it was going to go wrong. you had been too disoriented from having to start the choreography in the middle, and in the spin with aaron you had been too dizzy. so much so that you couldn't make the turn properly, that said and done when your partner launched you couldn't make the spin, you managed to land well but not to slow down as you slammed into the low wall of the rink. you didn't hit hard, but it looked more violent than it was, and you did hit your head. before you knew it someone had come running to your aid. "hey, stay with me, hey focus on me" after your sight came back into focus you saw ellie helping you. she was holding a hand in yours and stroking your back slowly. "it's ok baby, i'm here, you're ok" you saw several people surrounding aaron, even ellie's partner. they all seemed to be scolding him. "fuck, my shoulder" ellie turned her attention to where you brought your hand. "let's get you some medical attention, ok? i'm going to get you up" you nodded and ellie ran your hand over his shoulder. you grabbed hold of her and tried to stand up but she wasted no time in grabbing you and pulling you up. With a little giddiness you hugged her. "joel! come help me" ellie called her father who was quickly with you. he helped you out of ellie's arms and with frank's help they pulled you off the runway. taking you to the infirmary. ellie was about to go until she remembered the reason you had to go to the infirmary.

without thinking for more than a second she went out to look for your partner, who was looking at all the people who were talking to him with some disbelief. "what the fuck is your problem? how could you neglect her like that?!" shouted ellie, pushing him against a wall. "it's her job to be prepared to do-" "it's your job to take care of her! you're nobody, understand?! you're just a complement to her, she's the real star here." aaron rolled his eyes "it was nothing, she was fine when they took her out" he tried to defend himself. ellie, wasting no time grabbed him by the shirt and slammed him against the wall again, making sure he hit his head. "you fucking asshole, i should slam your head right here so you can tell me if it hurts or not" "ellie!" bill's voice made her stop concentrating on your partner "that's enough, come here. let's discuss changes." ellie left the rink, but not before throwing aaron to the ground and with the blade of her skate, throwing all the ice that had come off the rink in his face. "if i see you near her again, and I swear to god i'll rip your fucking head off," ellie said with contempt and walked out of the rink.

"you have to be more careful," said bill as he walked with ellie off the rink. "you saw how he threw her too, he wasn't careful at all. he could have knocked her out, he could have broken her arm," ellie defended herself. the image of you slamming into the wall replayed in his head. how could he hold you so close and treat you with such carelessness? "i know, it bothers me too, but the day a camera catches you being like that, your career is over," bill tried to reason, but she quickly pushed that line of thought away as they reached the infirmary.

ellie saw you, sitting on one of the gurneys with an ice pack and couldn't help but be distressed, you looked so distressed. "let's give the girls a moment" said bill motioning for joel and frank to come out. when you two were alone, ellie looked back at you "how are you feeling?" "fine" you replied curtly, you hated looking vulnerable in front of ellie "i'm sorry about what happened, i know you might have wanted to talk to him but i couldn't stand still while-" "it's ok" you interrupted her. ellie frowned and looked at you. "what's wrong with you?" "nothing, williams leave me alone". ellie sighed heavily. "and we're back to square one" "leave me alone" you said and ellie looked at you again. "you didn't expect me to stand idly by while that idiot hurt you" "why do you care?!" you yelled at her. ellie's eyes widened in surprise, you hated what she did. that she treats you like a friend, like she trusts you, only to pretend after two days that nothing happened and make fun of you again. "what are you talking about?" ellie said and you got up from the gurney, leaving your ice pack there "why are you doing this?! why are you pretending to care about me?!" ellie grabbed your hands, holding your body to hers. "because i care about you, y/n i cared about you for the past five years. i'll care about you every day of my life. i care about your well-being because i love you."

you looked at her. what? "what did you just say?" it couldn't be, she was playing a joke on you? someone had gone to tell her that you liked her? it couldn't be, the only people who knew were dina and jesse and they didn't even have a way of contacting her "i love you, i fucking love you. i've been in love with you for five years. are you happy?" "don't play games with me williams, not with these things. please" you tried to pull away from her, but without wasting time, ellie grabbed you by the waist. "i'm not playing but i really don't know how to tell you anymore. since the first time i saw you enter the rink, five years ago, i fell in love with you" "you're kidding me, you're playing with me, you think i don't know you, ellie".

you tried to break free from his grip, urgently wanting to run out the door and run but ellie, without wasting a single second, pulled you closer to her and pressed his lips against yours. you immediately calmed down, trying to process everything that was happening. ellie slowly pulled away from you, paying attention to your every move. "i'm sorry... i" but before she could apologize any further it was your turn to pull her by the neck to kiss her deeper. getting drunk of her and feeling her perfume close to you, finally letting your hands caress her hair and stir it to your liking. when you broke away from the kiss you cradled her face in your hands pulling her close to you, admiring her perfect features, all her freckles and those beautiful green eyes "you... you do it too...?" ellie broke the silence pulling her face away a little to get a good look at you. "what?" you asked quizzically. what did he mean? "you love me too?" you laughed, so adorable. you grabbed her face again and leaned in to give her a kiss on the forehead. you had wanted to do that for years. "yes I love you ellie, i don't know when the hate turned but it did, i'm so sorry for the times i was mean to you. i didn't know how to deal with everything that was happening to me" ellie shook her head and pulled you to her chest, hugging you.

the following days were frenetic. too frenetic. you had to adjust as a partner and as a couple. it turns out that earon, your partner had been expelled from the competition, the judge who had gone to congratulate ellie found the video where he threw you and together with other judges and members of the committee had decided that for the next four years he would not participate in the competition. on the other hand, ellie's partner had dropped out of the competition just because. you didn't know if someone had had a hand in it but according to ellie, he wasn't even that good. so Bill and Frank had juggled to create a new performance in such a short time.

and speaking of ellie, she really was a gentleman. She let you choose whatever song you wanted for the performance and when it came to choosing costumes she simply wanted to go toe to toe with you. "you pick whatever color and style you want baby, I'll manage to find a matching outfit." after that, she had even insisted on wearing all black and that you wear a bright yellow suit full of glitter. in the end it ruled out since they didn't get around to altering your outfit in time. and speaking of ellie as a skater, you couldn't believe what an amazing partner you had. the first time you saw her skate was at the opening. but she was so talented, you even dared to say that she was wasted in the opening performance because she had so much more to show. several times you were stunned before entering the rink watching her skate, do tricks, jumps and spins incredibly fast. the choreography that bill and frank had created for you was a mix of the individual choreographies you both had with your partners because you really didn't have much time. doing tricks with ellie was a breeze, much easier than with any male partner you had ever had. she always held on to you without letting go at any time, so the choreography was looking very impressive. you saw the whole thing filmed with professional cameras the night before you had to performed it. it was amazing how well you moved with ellie, how you both complemented each other perfectly, how neither of you looked wary of the other's movements and how your hands matched perfectly when you had to build momentum together. "ready for tomorrow?" asked frank as the five of you walked out of the enclosure together. you and ellie already changed into normal clothes. "don't make them nervous," bill scolded. "they're not allowed to be nervous," agreed joel. "but i am a little," you said and felt ellie's hand grab yours and caress it. joel looked back and smiled to himself, ellie had told you something about what he already knew but you weren't sure. "it is an honor for you, you are going to be the second same sex couple to perform. and the first both female couple to do so" right, the romeo and juliet boys had been the first. "we're going to live up to it," said ellie and squeezed your hand.

……………………………………………………………………..

"perfect" said one of the makeup artists who was doing your makeup for the competition. you got up from your chair and thanked them. when they finally left, you walked out of your hotel room and headed to ellie's room. you felt a little funny walking down the hallway in a bright red dress-suit, but you had to wear it to get used to it in a few hours. when you got to ellie's room her door was open and there were bill and frank helping her into the suit. she looked beautiful, she had a full body suit, black and red which matched her hair which by the way was slicked back with gel. again, she had no makeup on, just a few sparkly stones decorating her face. bill and frank went out, taking advantage of the fact that they had seen a contest coordinator. it turned out that in addition to being the first female couple in the competition, you and her were the last couple of all contest. "you look beautiful" you said to her, you had been admiring her for quite a while. "hey, that's my line" said ellie, a little blushing. "you look beautiful too, you look like a princess." you smiled goofily and moved even closer to her to kiss her. "i love you" you said in the middle of the kiss. it had become a habit for the two of you to say it to each other every five minutes. you two had spent so much time holding it in that now it was a necessity. "i love you too, you're going to be amazing."

on the way to the place, you were too nervous. you kept fiddling with your costume and needed to keep your hands busy with something. ellie seemed calmer since she had done it at the opening but you just couldn't take it anymore. "hey" said ellie softly taking your hands in hers. "you have nothing to be scared of, you're going to look amazing." you smiled at her, she was so sweet. "your line now shouldn't be "you look like you're pooped muffin?" williams?" even though you were already on good terms, you loved teasing her. "maybe so, but sometimes i like to vary the script" said ellie, teasing a little but at the same time leaning over to kiss you on the cheek. "girls..." called bill from the driver's seat. frank rolled his eyes but smiled at them "we're here anyway." some reporters were even waiting for you to come out, the worst of all is that your trainers had given you and ellie the order not to accept interviews before the presentation, to avoid forming controversy about the suspicious retirement of your two companions.

when you parked the car, ellie got out first, you found it strange until you saw how quickly she came to your door and opened it. you smiled at her but grabbed her hand anyway so you could get out. "let's go inside quickly, don't look back" she said in your ear and you listened. you got inside the place and ellie was still holding your hand. you saw that they had gone in alone as bill and frank had stayed behind to do the interviews. a man dressed in a suit led them to the dressing room, you could tell he didn't want to pressure them but he told them that in five minutes you had to leave. ellie thanked him and quickly took off her shoes to put on her skates. you imitated her, sitting next to her, your hands were shaking so she tied the laces of your skates. as you put on the blade guards you saw how ellie's skate had your initial written on the ankle. "really?" you asked teasingly, you thought it looked adorable anyway. "it's for good luck" mentioned ellie laughing. before leaving you gave her one last kiss. "i love you, you're going to be amazing" you smiled at her and together they left for the dance floor.

when you got to the dance floor and the audience you felt like you were about to throw up. before going out on the runway you two posed with bill and frank for the press. the flashes made you a little dazed but you were more nervous because of the amount of people who had their eyes on you. ellie posed with her dad, your mom hadn't come to see you but joel motioned for you to get in the picture with them. finally you both hugged your trainers and got ready to go to the rink. you took off their blade guards and went out to the track. you had a few seconds to test the ice before starting the choreography. ellie shot off to move on the ice and you tested your skates for landing as well as doing some quick spins to get used to the feeling and not get dizzy. finally you went to the center of the rink to meet up with ellie who looked you in the eye "are you ready?" she asked and you nodded. your girlfriend motioned to some people who responded with a thumbs up. "breathe" ellie ordered you and you did. those seconds before it started felt like forever, you guessed they must have been in commercial breaks. the lights went out and two huge spotlights shone on you. one to Ellie and one to you.

adele's "rolling in the deep" started to play on the rink. the first part of the choreography was pure coordination between the two of you. both of you had to be careful not to lose the tempo of the other at any moment. in the moment of the chorus, when the rhythm dropped, ellie grabbed you by the waist to start going faster. Finally, she carried you, turning you in the air so that you were on top of her, forming a perfect pose. several people applauded. you were already feeling more confident. the next step in the choreography was to do the trick that had gone wrong with aaron. ellie held you by the waist. "be careful." without another word, she launched you across the rink and you landed perfectly. the cheers and screams from the crowd intensified as you held on to ellie's shoulders and she held on to your waist for the last trick which to your surprise went perfectly. you two finished spinning just as the song ended. you heard screams from the crowd but you couldn't take your eyes off ellie who had you hugged tightly against her.

when you were finally able to separate your face from hers you both looked at the audience, you were surprised at how many people were standing, applauding the both of you. ellie grabbed your waist to hold you close to her and you both bowed to the audience. ellie broke away from you to get something that had been thrown at her. there were several things, even teddy bears. but Ellie came back with a cloth, you didn't know what it was until she unfurled it and you saw that it was a queer flag. the rainbow colors shone under the light she had pointed at it and not caring about the questioning looks from some people in the audience and the jury she wrapped herself in the flag, motherfucker she thought she was going to get in all the trouble by herself. before the applause ended, you tucked yourself under her arm wrapping yourself under the rainbow flag as well. ellie looked at you in surprise but smiled proudly for the pictures.

you were back in the rink. it had been 20 minutes since you and ellie finished the performance and the jury was deliberating. you had used that time to greet some of the couples in the contest and talk to the media. you hardly had time to do anything else. the scoreboard counted 30 seconds to go on the air and you looked at ellie, who intertwined her hand with yours. you couldn't take your eyes off her as they did the introduction of the program and how their judging system had been for choosing the winners. before they announced third place you looked at the small podium they had set up for the winners. someday.

"in third place we have..." said the announcer looking at the couples waiting on the rink. "noah and brandon representing foxborough, massachusetts!" everyone applauded, the boys from romeo and juliet. they deserved a higher place as they had done amazing. ellie clapped for the boys and you did the same as you watched them go to place their medals. "second place..." continued the presenter. you started to get nervous, did you have a chance of being in the top two? "sasha and ben! representing arlington, texas!" you were happy for them too. you knew they were friends that ellie had made while practicing for the opening performance. they were very nice and you knew they deserved it. you were surprised that they both went to hug ellie and you. "and in first place" you pulled yourself together, you felt a little defeated but you held out a little hope, you knew how unrealistic it would be to want to win first place in your first competition. "the winners of this seventh sixth edition of the contest, who will take home the gold medal to their hometown" come on you idiot, say it already. "representing jackson, wyoming. wllie and y/n!" you felt time stop for a second ellie looked at you, incredulous. "you did it" she said to you with wide eyes, it had been hard to hear her over all the applause. "we did it" you corrected her and grabbed her hand to lead her to the front.

as you were presented with your medals and you were given a bouquet of flowers, ellie seemed absent. she looked thoughtful but smiled at the sight of bill and frank crying. you felt like crying too, this was all thanks to them. though your anguish quickly evaporated when you saw joel with a beer and jumping up and down with ellie's uncle celebrating his victory. "ready girls?" asked one of the staff and led them to the top podium of the winners. ellie helped you up and smiled as they handed you the trophy, it was really beautiful. for the first picture she took the trophy with one hand and hugged you with the other. you grabbed your medal, showing it off and also hugging ellie. for the second picture, of just the two of you, ellie hugged you even tighter and just at the moment when the flashes went off to take the picture that would surely be on the front page of every newspaper in your hometown, she pulled you to her body and kissed you in front of all the ten thousand people that were there, fearless.

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 9 months

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reading update: DECEMBER 2023

what's up gamers!!!! 2023 is over, and before I can make a post reflecting on every book I read I need to talk specifically about what I was reading in December. I was lucky enough to end the year coming out of a pretty dire depressive fug, and I celebrated by going buckwild reading as much as possible and placing so many holds at the local library that I will, probably, come to regret any day now. such is the price of being in love with life again, I guess!

let's talk about it!!!

what I read:

Buffalo is the New Buffalo (Chelsea Vowel, 2022) - a collection of Métis speculative fiction short stories. Vowel's stories didn't always quite land for me, feeling as if they would benefit from another round or two of revisions and a bit of elaboration, but even when they fell a little flat the concepts were promising. I especially adored the story "Michif Man," in which a mid-twentieth century Métis man is gored by a radioactive buffalo and develops strange powers that he uses to defend his community, told through the fascinating framing device of a 21st century scholar's speech making a case for Michif Man's existence. I also really liked the closing story, "Unsettled," which felt like really cool old school sci-fi: five clashing characters alone burdened with the responsibility of tending to the rest of humanity frozen in stasis, with each character serving as a mouthpiece for a vastly different perspective and set of values about their Indigenous identity. hit or miss collection for me, but the hits hit much harder than the misses missed.

The Bandit Queens (Parini Schroff, 2023) - this book was genuinely so so hard to put down!!! the story follows a group of women in a small Indian village as they decide to start solving problems by murdering their husbands, turning to Geeta - whose widely believed to have killed her own husband years ago - for advice. the only problem is that Geeta didn't kill him, he just walked out on her. and now she's caught in a RAPIDLY tangling web of murder, blackmail, and hidden motives among women she's never let herself get close to. it's a dark comedy, to be sure, but also surprisingly heartfelt, exploring the countless factors - gender, class, caste, religion, motherhood, beauty - that keep Geeta and the other women apart as well as the forces powerful enough to pull them together. it's a book about the power of friendship and also the power of going ape shit.

Small Game (Blair Braverman, 2022) - a VERY different book from Bandit Queens on every level, but equally hard to put down! Braverman is something of a professional wilderness survivor, and decided to write a story about a similarly experienced young woman, Mara, signing up for a survival-themed reality show where everything goes wrong. one day the camera crew simply fails to show up, and everything shifts when the contestants are forced to shift from surviving for show to actually fighting for their lives. a book that's gross and tender in equal amounts; Braverman is a very good storyteller and I'm strongly looking forward to anything else she puts out.

Are You My Mother? (Alison Bechdel, 2012) - a gorgeously drawn and terrifyingly vulnerable graphic memoir. a spectacularly brave endeavor; while I would never discount the tremendous artistry of Bechdel's more well-known Fun Home, I cannot imagine the terror of writing something like this about my mother when she's still alive to read it. absolutely ruinous if you yourself have any remotely complicated feelings about your mother, I will tell you that much!!!!

The Heart Principle (Helen Hoang, 2021) - Helen Hoang is so good that I didn't even count this as my romance novel of the month; this was just a book that I sincerely wanted to read. apparently quite a few reviewers on goodreads whined about how this shouldn't qualify as a romance novel because it's too sad, to which I say those people are fucking wieners. Heart Principle gets heavy, sure, with protagonist Anna navigating the sudden illness and death of her elderly father, but at the same time she's finding happiness and new ways to be herself and having the best sex of her life with resident hottie Quan, who's been a gem of a supporting character in this series since Kiss Quotient. it gets sad as hell, for sure, but it's also a mature, touching, and sexy story of two people developing a bond that encourages them both to embrace life and grow together. also, hi, Anna finding out she's autistic is SUCH a source of joy and eventual self confidence for her and it's SO nice to read.

Out There Screaming: An Anthology of New Black Horror (ed. Jordan Peele, 2023) - listen. it's a very good short story collection, filled to the bursting with some of the best writers in the game. there are very few stinkers in the bunch, which is really impressive for a collection with so many stories. but. it very seldom felt properly... scary? spooky, creepy, mysterious, supernatural, sure. but I want to be scared!!!! fuck me up!!! Us got under my skin and scared me in a way that I still think about years later, and I was expecting something similar from an anthology edited by Jordan Peele. so on that note I would actually really strongly recommend this is you like being a little spooked but not terrified!

Kiss Her Once for Me (Alison Cochrun, 2022) - this one was the romance novel of the month, voted on by my patrons, and incidentally my patrons should go to prison. listen. this book sucks shit. god, this protagonist sucks. I know the point of this kind of story is for characters to start in a place where they're flawed and you want to see them improve as people, but Ellie is just so endlessly whiny that I don't want to see her improve, I want her to shut the fuck up and stop using her anxiety as an excuse to be wildly unpleasant to everyone else. the chemistry between the main characters was what I call the "because I said so" variety, by which I mean there was no chemistry despite the narrative insisting repeatedly that there definitely was. (incidentally, Ellie had way better chemistry with the man she was fake engaged to, meaning I was actually really rooting for the hetero option for once.) also Cochrun is apparently a huge swiftie and referenced Taylor Swift a truly unwell amount of times in this book. dismal all around.

Mammoths at the Gates (Nghi Vo, 2023) - Nghi Vo can do absolutely no wrong and is one of the authors whose new releases I will ALWAYS be showing up for. Mammoths at the Gates is the latest in the Singing Hills Cycle of novellas, and sees the cleric Chih leaving their quest for stories in order to return home to Singing Hills Abbey after years on the road. they're excited to be home, but nothing is as peaceful as they'd have hoped: an old friend has been promoted, straining their relationship, and a beloved mentor has died, creating a complication when their family come to lay claim to the body. it's a book about death in the best way, by which I mean it's very much a book about life, and I read it all in one delightful morning racing to the gentle shock of the ending.

what am I reading now?

God: A Biography (Jack Miles, 1995) - this is a book rec I scooped from Oh No Ross and Carrie and it is. such a weird reading experience, but I'm enjoying it! this God dude is nuts!

Masters of Death (Olivie Blake, 2018) - I'm not very far into this book yet, and I can't decide if the prose is fun or annoying. maybe both!

what's next: a list of books I have on hold

Patternmaster (Octavia Butler)

Laziness Does Not Exist (Devon Price)

Piñata (Leopoldo Gout)

#bookblr #reading updates

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meggannn · 1 year

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Do you happen to know any other games like transistor or Hades? sorry if it's so random but I got into them thru seeing them on your blog and have been looking for something along similar gameplay

if you haven't already, check out the rest of the Supergiant catalogue? they're also isometric action games, and although I haven't played them myself I hear good things:

Bastion—truthfully I tried this one and just couldn't get into it but it does look pretty and has good voice acting like all SG games

Pyre—honestly I've been meaning to play this for a while but I just haven't gotten around to it. it has middle child syndrome in that it gets looked over for its move hyped siblings but everything I've heard about it has been positive

I don't know if I can recommend anything with similar gameplay to Hades and Transistor, because I don't play a lot of roguelites and Transistor was so unique I'm struggling to think of a comparison. Supergiant has been really singular for me in combining storytelling with gameplay, the marriage of the two in Hades in particular I think was a masterclass akin to Portal (which I'd also recommend if you haven't played it). so a lot of these recommendations are just going to address parts of what I liked about Hades and Transistor, but not the whole package, really.

story-heavy RPG-light games with beautiful graphics with no combat:

Oxenfree—supernatural/coming-of-age story about a group of kids trapped on an island when a portal opens to another world

Night in the Woods—the story of Mae, a college dropout struggling with mental health, who moves back home to deal with friend and family problems... and something else that's in the woods

Afterparty—two friends die and get sent to hell. they hear the only way to escape is to challenge the devil to a drinking contest, so they travel the afterlife to do just that

Signs of the Sojourner—this is an interesting one where you travel to acquire goods to sell at your shop, but negotiating is difficult, and the cards in your deck will help you succeed in forging bonds in conversations. the more diverse cards you have, the more people you can interact with successfully, but you also risk losing the cards you started with, which will make your conversations back home difficult when you return to stock up.

action-heavy indie games, usually made me go "just one more map":

Apotheon—story set in a 2D Greek mythology world about a man challenged to take down the pantheon one god at a time

Into the Breach—the only other roguelite I've played, it's a turn-based strategy where you fight aliens on a grid system with robots, very Pacific Rim-esque

Cult of the Lamb—a roguelite about running your own cult full of animals. apparently it's big on the horror elements without being off-putting or too gory due to the cute graphics. I haven't played this but other people have recommended it!

Jade Order—a very short puzzle game with a neat map design

#askbox #waifufatale

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therulerofallpotatos · 11 months

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Now that October is over

I have made up a plan for the rest of the year in regards to my writing that is designed to let me chill the fuck out for a little bit.

I have not finished wyler week 2023's day 2. It turned out longer than anticipated, and I had intended to focus on it after the Summer of Smut Kink Bingo 2023. That did not happen. I will try to finish this fic by January 1st, 2024.

I did not finish writing the AI-Less Whumptober 2023 series, Tyler's Bad Year. I still have day 24-31 to write and post. I intend to do this by December 1st 2023.

I currently have approximately 40 thousand words written for I Bit Him So He's Mine. Also known as, my "Wednesday is a hyde" AU. Aka, one of my two Wyler novels that I will begin posting once I have finished them. I will be reading over and editing what I have before continuing onto Act 2 of this fic. I intend to do this by January 1st, 2024.

And, for my original writing separate from fandom, I intend to devote some time to planning out a short story for a writing contest next year. I will have something resembling a plan by January 1st, 2024 for that.

I will not be signing up for any new writing events until New Years. Ya'll aren't allowed to enable me in signing up for anything new. That means no Thanksgiving shit. No christmas bashes. no white elephant exchanges. no new years fics. I am focusing on my wips, and I'm going to finish some of them so help me god. and I'm going to try not to give myself another deadline induced fever again.

This doesn't mean this will be the only thing i work on. It's just going to be the priority.

#wednesday netflix #wednesday addams #wyler #tyler galpin #my writing #weyler #wednesday fanfic #the addams family #ailesswhumptober2023 #weyler week 2023 #IBHSHM #Tyler's Bad Year #IGDYIWLF #If the Good Die Young I Want to Live Forever

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cowboymenace · 10 months

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Speculating About Ric Flair

Now I doubt that Ric Flair or his people will find this write up but I'm gonna be using the word allegedly a lot because I will be speculating about what Ric Flair is really doing in AEW.

On October 25th, 2023 Ric Flair would be revealed as Tony Khan's gift to Sting as a part of Sting Retirement Story. Sting and Flair are one of the most iconic rivalries in Wrestling History, the two even wrestled on the very last Nitro. This should have been met with rejoicing, right? No. Many online fans voiced their displeasure with the signing of Flair citing the sexual assault that occurred on the infamous plane ride from hell. This incident became much more well known due to the Darkside of the Ring series covering the whole ordeal. There's also Teddy Long going on the record stating that Flair had said heinous slurs to him and has yet to apologize

What's even worse in my opinion is Tony Khan dunking on Vince McMahon's alleged history of sexual misconduct, and yet still bringing in Flair anyways. It makes it apparent that Tony does not care about the victims, and was scoring a cheap dig against his competitor.

Another layer to this, is the promotion of Flair's brand of energy drink. I will not be mentioning its name nor its image since that would be indirectly promoting it as well. Each week now, there's a portion of the entrance stage dedicated to promoting the drink. The commentary desk has three cans of different flavors on display. It feels so bleak and dare I say carny. This is a major strike against Tony Khan's credibility about a promoter.

On the November 29th episode of Dynamite, Ric Flair would cut a promo backstage. The promo went on and on, you just can't help but to feel some iota of sadness watching this shell of a man trying to recapture faded glory. Watch for yourself if you wish, just be warned it's bleak.

youtube

The reaction was brutal. So much so that now Flair is threatening to leave. Fellow veterans like Chris Jericho (who punched a female fan in 2008) and Stone Cold Steve Austin (who beat Debra, something he pleaded no contest to) voiced their support. Something something birds of a feather.

On Jericho's end, this is insane. He narrated each episode of Darkside of the Ring. He read out loud what Flair did. This makes him incredibly scummy, but I digress. Back to Flair

Flair has also stated that younger talents have not approached him for advice. This is adding to the criticism of the AEW lockerroom being full of young guys who do not take older veterans' advice, but Taz has dispelled that.

If anything, this tells us that no one wishes to interact with Flair. Why should they? They know about his history and how he seems to not have atone for it. Why is this man getting a paycheck in a company that is trying its hardest to remove toxicity from the lockerroom? I do not blame those avoiding him like the plague.

So this seems like a misreading of the room by Tony Khan, and a huge waste of time for Ric right? But what if this was the goal?

In 2009 Ric Flair was brought into ROH as an authority figure. Flair had just finished his retirement run in the WWE and was moving on. However, Flair would No-Show after being paid

Flair was paid 35K for the position and was going to get 10K per appearance. He took the money and left. ROH then responded by announcing a lawsuit.

Recently Ric Flair was on an episode of Kill Tony, a comedy show where a panel of veteran comedians and celebrities would judge one minute sets by amateurs. His appearance was odd. He was slurring his words and would not engage with the show. He would ramble on about donating time and he then went on to leave in the middle of the show. It was bizarre, could it have been he was not anticipating how mean the show is to participants. Or did he figure he got paid anyway and just dip? Now I am merely speculating, I am not sure if Tony paid him or this was a favor. I can imagine anything with Flair requires payments but again I'm just speculating.

youtube

Now this brings us to Flair in AEW. Is Flair looking for an exit after getting some money out of Tony Khan, who happily gave it to him? This is what I believe is Flair's current move. He has a history of not fulfilling his commitments, and he may just be doing it again, allegedly, parody, in minecraft. Satire.

If Flair does leave I hope that this is a lesson to Tony never meet your heroes, they may try to rip you off (Allegeldy!!!!)

#ric flair #aew #sting #wrestling #pro wrestling #aew dynamite #Youtube

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yoimo06 · 5 months

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09:26 am !! 18.04.24

First day of writing my thoughts feelings and experiences here and whatever else. I heard tumblr works well as a journal/blog so might as well.

Even though I'm honestly still not entirely sure how this platform works (especially not on the pc ver) we all learn as we go, don't we?

Anyhow. I gotta get back home from school.. can't believe I'm sick again! Man, it's all the girl's fault for not being able to keep their asses home when they're sick. I confronted one of the girls about it and she really said "You would've gotten mad at me for not coming to help with the project" (we are unfortunately working on a group contest together — a group of 6 girls) like, no girl, no one would. She was the one that got mad at another person from our group when THEY were sick and told them to come to school. Darn hypocrite.

I hate this damn problem doe. Its so stupid. There are ups to it though. For example, i didn't have to attend a bunch of classes which is cool but then again im falling behind w all the lessons and shit so thats not great.

I just want it to be over fast. Cant stand working w some of these people no more. Fake asf

Rn im taking a bath! My favourite thing to do ngl. Its so warm and nice and cosy. Outside, in the parking lot behind our house theres people setting up the farmers market. Ive always found it so endearing and nice!! I love farmers markets and even if i dont buy anything, just passing thru it is nice.

On another brighter than all the other notes!!! My boyfriend got accepted into Uni here!!! We'll be breaking long distance soon. Its all happening so fast but im so glad so so glad hes coming home soon. I miss him more than anything. He's also going to come visit in a week or so!! I cant wait

Next week our school has this thing called 'Green week' where we take a break from normal school activities to instead do other things related to nature n shit. In concept it sounds nice but our teachers always pick the most boring activities for us...that sucks. For example, we'll be going to the Botanical garden for 4 hours!!! That'd be cool and all but we all know the botanical garden like the back of our hands from how much we visited it.. Theres plenty of other things to see, im sure, but most teachers don't wanna bother with actual interesting stuff, unfortunately.

Another small something is that i have recently started playing Star Rail again! Its great!! I would say im doing quite well, advancing through the story and stuff... I still have to properly build my charas doe oops! Thing is, i came back for this new character called 'Boothill', truly a charming gentleman. Haha! I managed to farm around 100 wishes in a week with a bit of help from my boyfriend as well~ I will get Boothill guys trust!! I kinda gave in though and pulled for Aventurine as well ... and i got him. But theres around 40 days left to farm for Boothill so im sure ill be gucci!! Ill be pulling for both him and his lightcone... and hopefully more copies of him hehe~~~

Todays weather was kinda shitty. The weather has been shitty recently actually. Its so cold and it keeps raining even tho not too long ago it was all nice warm and sunny, like how spring should be! I miss the nice weather, i hope it comes back soon so i can wear my short skirts, long socks and cool graphic tees!

Hmm~ I might hop back on here later mayhaps mayhaps to write some more stuff but for now ill be signing off!

Byebye ~

#personal blog #journal #honkai star rail #star rail #boothill #aventurine #hsr #gal #gyaru

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dragonprincebigbangmods · 1 year

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The Dragon Prince Big Bang Challenge FAQ

The Dragon Prince fandom's very own Big Bang Challenge! Spanning several months and open to all in The Dragon Prince fandom, this Big Bang was created to create new fan works for our fandom.

How does it work?

Authors sign up to complete 10,000 word fanfics within 3 months. This can include any pairing or be a non-ship general fic. Alternate universes, crossovers, and original characters are welcome as long as the canon characters play a dominant role in the fanfic.

Artists sign up to complete at least one piece of art for their assigned fanfic. Fanfics will be assigned by a blind selection of summaries. Fanart can be any kind of medium, from playlists to baking, voice over to digital art, we want it all.

Beta readers sign up to assist authors and artists with an extra eye to check for mistakes and bounce ideas.

A theme will be announced to help jog ideas, but authors and artists can be as loose with this theme's interpretation as they choose.

Is there a prize for completing these works by the deadline?

Big Bangs are not a competition, but rather an event that creates new works for the fandom to enjoy as a whole and to facilitate community bonding. If nothing else, you can be proud of the work you put in!

What if I don't finish my work by the deadline?

We understand that the Big Bang is a big undertaking, and some participants may not be able to complete the challenge. While it may not make it to the masterlist, you at least have a good start on a new piece to complete at a later time. Maybe even during next year's event!

Do I have to create something new?

The short answer is yes. The goal of the Big Bang is to create new, complete works to share with the fandom. Provided that your work has not been shared publicly, it qualifies for the Big Bang.

Where do I post my Big Bang work?

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Not to worry, every fanfiction will receive at least one piece of art. In fact, if there are more authors than artists (or artists who would like to take on more than one fanfiction), there will be a second claim process.

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Yes! Authors may choose to co-write their fanfiction and artists may choose to work together on their artwork. However you must sign up as a collaboration at the start. You may not choose to collaborate with another author/artist once sign ups have closed. Co-authors will also be required to submit 15k words and co-artists will be required to submit 2 pieces of art at the end of the deadline.

How does the artist claim process work?

At the first check-in, authors will be required to submit summaries to the mods. Artists will have access to this list of summaries and will submit their list of the top 5 summaries they would like to partner with. Stories will be assigned on a first-come-first-serve basis. Then author/artist partnerships will be announced and it's time to collaborate!

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Mostly it comes down to authors keeping their work a secret until their partnerships are announced. We want to make sure that the Big Bang does not end up a popularity contest, so keep your secrets until your partnerships, then feel free to share your work with your partner!

Can I sign up to write, do art, AND beta read?

You can sign up for all the things if you'd like! Just be sure to sign up in each individual form. Keep in mind that completing this challenge can be tough, and the more you add to your plate the tougher it will become. But if you think you can handle it all, go go go!

What timezone are the deadlines scheduled in?

Everything on the schedule is set in Eastern Standard Time. If you aren't great with timezones, remember that it's the same timezone New York City is in.

#the dragon prince #tdp fandom #dragon prince #dragon prince big bang challenge

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ynscrazylife · 3 years

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hi there! so i saw that you write about the mcu and dceu which is super cool bc i have this amazing idea of a story between me, the avengers, the guardians and the justice league (platonic ofc!) i was thinking about the three teams were preparing my birthday in a yard and while they are preparing everything, bruce banner is picking me up and him and i could get closer in a romantic way (mostly because he's my fav), and when i arrive everyone is suprising me and then we have a lot of fun 1/2

The Surprise Party | avengers, guardians, justice league fluff fic

Summary: Ignoring how they’re from different universes, the superheroes throw their friend an amazing surprise birthday party.

Authors Note: Thanks for requesting & happy birthday!

Request to be on a taglist (or multiple) here! (Taglists are at the end of the fic)

MCU Masterlist #1 | MCU Masterlist #2 | DCEU Masterlist | Main Masterlist

PSA: Do NOT copy, steal, translate, plagiarize, republish, etc any of my works on Tumblr or any other platform. Also, do NOT claim any of my works as your own. All of these works are either requests I’ve gotten that people have wanted me to write or original ideas I’ve had for works. If you happen to take inspiration from anything I’ve written and want to write something inspired by that, please a) ask me first and b) IF I say yes, credit me as inspo in your post by tagging me and link whatever work of mine that inspired you. Thanks.

header c @/gagalacrax on twitter

There was a reason why the Avengers, the Guardians of the Galaxy, and the Justice League didn’t all get together: with that many superheroes, in one space, chaos was bound to break out. That chaos could be, quite literally, anything. From Iron Man challenging the Flash to an arm wrestling contest to Aquaman attacking Groot when he thought he was an enemy. Long story short, it just wasn’t a good idea . . . Until they found out that besides saving the world, all three teams had one thing in common: Y/N Y/LN.

Y/N had, to everyone’s astonishment, been on all three teams. Born as a Metahuman, she had started out on the Justice League team. Then, on a solo mission, she accidentally entered a black hole and bam! she found herself in another universe, and quickly bonded with the Guardians of the Galaxy. Eventually, it was determined that the Guardians couldn’t help her return to her home world - or universe - so she bid them goodbye and sought out the Avengers.

Y/N was the reason they had met. The reason that they knew of each other's universes. Now, seeing as her birthday was rapidly approaching, she was the reason they were coming together once more. Each superhero had their own connection with Y/N and adored her. Batman and Captain America were like father figures while Black Widow, Mera, and Wonder Woman were her mother figures, Furthermore, Aquaman and Thor were her mentors, Starlord, Iron Man, and Superman were like her big brothers, Gamora and Scarlet Witch were like her sisters, and Falcon, Rocket, Groot, Hawkeye, and Drax were her best friends.

There was someone else who fit into Y/N’s life in an entirely different way, though. That was the Hulk, aka Bruce Banner, who Y/N had a growing crush on. Coincidentally, his role in their birthday surprise was to be the distractor. He’d take Y/N out and about, staying as far away as possible from the Avengers Tower, while the other superheroes set up.

As expected, the planning hardly went smoothly.

Tony and Barry got into another confrontation, this time over Y/N’s choice of music (which went on until Mera and Wanda butted in with the music Y/N actually enjoyed), Arthur began to get on Natasha’s last nerves, and Rocket almost started eating her cake . . . and that was only a bit of what happened in the first half of the day.

Meanwhile, Bruce kept Y/N occupied. He took her out to her favorite breakfast place and breakfast was on him and then they filled the day at a carnival park. Bruce happily accompanied her on all the rides she wanted to go on (despite almost Hulking out multiple times) and even won Y/N some stuffed animals by throwing rings. He even got her lots and lots of cotton candy and then let her ride on his back when she got a stomach ache. All in all, though, it was a fun time. So fun that Bruce almost forgot that they had a party to get to!

Which is exactly why he frantically texted the groupchat that they were on their way and had to practically drag Y/N away from wanting to go on the ferris wheel for the third time. When confronted with questions, the lie that there was an emergency mission slipped off the brunette’s tongue -- probably not the smartest lie because Y/N had declared weeks before that if there were any missions on the week of her birthday, she wasn’t going -- but it worked long enough to keep her distracted, even if she was too busy with pouting and grumbling.

As they got closer and closer, Bruce could barely contain his excitement. Not only had he had a fantastic game, he was about to spend the night partying with the woman he had a crush on and celebrating her birthday. Who knows - maybe he’d even ask her out?!

When they got there, Y/N was ready to march inside and suit up, but Bruce tugging on her arm made her stop. Ignoring her endless questions and cries of frustration, he took his time leading her through the tower and into the backyard so the superheroes would have time to hide. Bruce let Y/N go before him and the moment she opened the doors, everyone jumped out wearing party hats and yelled: “SURPRISE!”

To say she was surprised would be a total understatement. In fact, she was so surprised that she stumbled back, directly into the scientist, and with his quick reflexes he steadied her and lightly nudged her forward and out of her shocked state. She had let out the biggest gasp that any of them had ever heard, her eyes went wide, and her hands flew over her mouth.

Slowly, she walked forward, overwhelmed by the sight before her. Not only were all her teammates - her friends, even family - together, but the place looked amazing. There were streamers, a big sign saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY, balloons, even a fake throne that Tony and Bruce had constructed earlier that week!

“Oh-oh my god, you guys . . . Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She cried out, jumping up and down.

Everyone smiled. “Of course, sweetheart,” Arthur said.

“Go sit on your throne - presents are up first!” Tony added.

Y/N immediately ran and jumped onto the big throne.

“Aren’t presents supposed to be last or something?” Clint muttered to Steve as they walked over.

“Yeah, but Tony keeps boasting on how good his present is,” Steve replied.

Everyone mingled on over there and Tony presented his birthday present, which was definitely over-wrapped, first. After the squeals she emitted, the others were next. Everyone had gotten her their own birthday present, but Arthur and Mera went over the top when they joined together with their powers to make Y/N something super special.

Afterwards, they spent the rest of the time absolutely PARTYING! They had a dance contest which JARVIS was the judge of and Y/N won, but the next round Y/N co-judged with JARVIS and they determined that Rocket and Barry were tied for first place, Peter and Clint tied for second place, and Bruce got third place. Then, they moved onto playing games (Y/N and Bruce teamed up and they CRUSHED everyone else, because they already had experience working together at the carnival that day) and finally, it was time for cake. Y/N got the biggest piece and, of course, Rocket and Arthur fought over the cake (Groot smacked them).

They partied until the sun came up, where everyone either fell asleep or had someone fall asleep on them. In the morning, everyone awoke, only to see Y/N still asleep, her head resting on Bruce’s shoulder and a blanket wrapped around them both. It was the most adorable sight they had ever witnessed and Bruce carried her to bed while Natasha took her shoes off. The superheroes left her to sleep in and she came downstairs a couple hours later, a breakfast full of waffles, pancakes, anything you could imagine waiting for her.

Permanent Taglist: @natasharomanoffismywife @hehehehannahthings @paulawand @blackbat2020 @cerberus-spectre @marrymemcgrath @celestialbarnes @kathryndimitrescu @snipyloulou @big-galaxy-chaos @cc13723things

MCU Taglist: @stephanieromanoff @summerlovingbaby @ineffablebean @okkulta @procrastinatingsapphictrash @prettysbliss @caseyfish @sarahp-stan @thewidowsghost @basiclesbianbitch @mycosmicparadise @kidswhofightmonsters @xtraordinaryfangrl @peggycarter-steverogers @username23345 @ima-gi--na-tion @yori-nakajima @hi-i-1 @mmmmokdok @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @mads-weasley @tenaciousperfectionunknown @afraid-to-be-me @lilclownx @acertainredhead @natromanoffxox @lilymurphy03 @thanossexual @avengersz-biotch @kozumekoi @mjaudrey

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kritischetheologie · 3 years

Note

pleaseeee IF you are up for it, i would DIE for more of the pub quiz au (doesn't even have to be sebchal tbh!! just in love w that concept in general)

I AM AT YOUR SERVICE MY LIEGE

I’ve been thinking a lot about The Concept of Jenson Button (??) so have some Little Red McLaren Origin Story content, or, How Seb Joined the Pub Quiz Team.

the HAPPIEST of birthdays to you, thank you for your kindness and your lovely lovely contributions to the Internet! I basically just let my brain go brrrr with no speed limits or seatbelts which was lots of fun, so I hope you enjoy reading it!

2010

Lewis calls Jenson, like, an hour before Thursday Night Trivia is set to start, which is a bad sign.

“Ok, Jense, don’t get mad,” he says immediately when Jenson picks up, which is a worse one.

“Talk to me, Hamilton,” Jenson says into his bluetooth headset, mentally still half in consultant-mode, as he hypes himself up for another set of lat pulldowns. He’s got twenty minutes to finish this workout, twenty minutes to take a shower and do his hair, and twenty minutes to make it to O’Masi’s. Whatever problem Lewis needs him to solve is gonna have to get multitasked.

“I broke up with Nico,” Lewis says, which, thank god, finally. Jenson couldn’t take another night out that turned into Lewis and Nico fighting quietly in their own incomprehensibly coded language. But also, fuck, that means Daddy’s Mercedes is probably now one man short for TNT. Jenson just hopes Lewis is the one they get to keep.

“Which one of you gets pub quiz in the divorce?” Jenson asks, trying to interject some levity with his phrasing as he switches to tricep kickbacks.

“I do,” Lewis replies. “Which I guess is fair, since he’s only claiming, I don’t know, our entire friend group from college.”

“Hey, you don’t need college friends when you’ve got coworkers,” Jenson tells him, even though he and Mark have been best friends since freshman year fraternity rush at Tufts. “You can just borrow theirs,” he adds, groaning as his muscles hit the edge of their capacity.

“That’s not helping, man,” Lewis says, but Jenson can tell it is. “What would help is you figuring out who the hell we can replace Nico with on such short notice.”

“Why is this a me problem?” Jenson asks, even though he knows why as soon as he’s said it-- because when you exclude all of Nico’s friends, everyone in the city that Lewis knows, Jenson also knows, but not vice versa.

“Because, as previously established, I’m a little low on friends right now,” Lewis says. He sounds despondent.

“Don’t worry, babygirl, I’ve got you,” Jenson reassures him. “Hey, look at the bright side though.” Last up are squats, and then he’ll do one more round of the whole cycle, and then he’ll be done, and they can finally go fuck up some motherfuckers at trivia.

“Sure Jense, tell me what the fuck the bright side is to getting cheated on by your boyfriend of six years,” Lewis retorts.

Between this breakup and the week Jenson’s had at work, they’re definitely gonna have to win tonight. And/or get obliterated. Preferably and.

“We can finally change the team’s dumb fucking name,” Jenson says, laughing, then presses the button on his headset to end the call.

---

Jenson spends his last set working through his phone and drawing blank after blank. Everyone’s either already busy, as if they have somewhere cooler to be at 8:30 on a Thursday night, or flat-out said they think pub quiz is lame, which, fuck them, pub quiz rules. It’s basically a drinking contest with a trivia component, what more can you want after a long day of slide decks?

“Marky Mark,” he whines into the phone, once he’s back in his apartment and stripping off his sweat-soaked workout clothes. “We’ve got a problem.” He cranks the shower knob all the way to the right, waits for it to heat up.

“What did I tell you about calling me when you’re about to shower?” Mark says, and Jenson can’t help laughing.

“You said, and I quote, next time you call me when you’re clearly naked just go all the way and Facetime me, daaaahling. But I don’t know where you are, you could be on the subway already!”

“You should be on the subway already if you don’t wanna be late,” Mark teases, then his voice turns serious. “But what’s the problem?”

“We’re down a teammate for pub quiz.”

“Lewis and Nico...” Mark asks, without asking.

“Finally,” Jenson confirms. “Don’t make a big thing of it, though. Just help me replace Nico. Do you know anyone smart? Smarter than you, ideally, but beggars can’t be choosers, so...”

“You wound me, JB,” Mark replies. He’s quiet for a moment. Jenson hears him opening and closing his mouth a few times before he finally speaks. “Ok, I do have an idea, but you gotta be chill about it... if I don’t make a big thing of Lewis and Nico breaking up, can you not make a big thing of this?”

“Depends on what this is,” Jenson says. He sticks his hand in the water and then pulls it back out reflexively, the skin already turning red. He cranks the knob back towards the left to let more cold in.

“You know the guy I’ve been fucking? The surprisingly flexible kid I met on grindr?”

“In theory but not in practice,” Jenson quips. “Why, you think he’d be any good at pub quiz?”

Mark laughs. “Yeah,” he says, his voice soft in a way Jenson has never heard it sound before. “I think he’d be pretty damn good.”

---

The grindr kid’s name is Sebastian. (”Like the lobster from The Little Mermaid?” / “He’s a crab.” / “I’m taking that one as a yes, kiddo.” / “See, this is why I usually just go by Seb.”) He’s 23 and scrawny, all floppy blonde hair and too-big polo shirt. And the first thing he does when he shows up is order them all a round of fucking jägerbombs.

To be fair, they’ve got three minutes to decide on a new team name, since Nico had been the one with the Daddy with the Mercedes in the first place, so jäger and redbull might just be exactly what they need to get the creative juices flowing.

“I liked the car theme,” Mark says, which is so painfully conventionally masculine it’s almost cute.

“You liked the dissonance of the masculinity of the car contrasting with the femininity of calling somebody daddy,” Lewis corrects him.

“Is there something feminine about calling people daddy now?” Jenson asks, and Seb snickers and says, “if there is, don’t tell Mark.”

Jenson snorts half his beer up his nose laughing. He might like this kid.

“Ok, focus, guys,” Mark says, blushing. “We need a different car brand. What else is expensive?”

“McLaren?” Lewis suggests. “Fits the whole Irish pub theme too.”

Seb looks around him, clearly confused. Jenson can’t blame him, since the place is a mess of green and orange and red, Italian and Irish flags everywhere, Guinness on draft and mama’s lasagna on the menu.

“Yeah, I know,” Jenson tells him. “Just roll with it, Michael tends to dock points in pub quiz if you question the theme of the place.”

“The lasagna’s not half bad, though,” Mark adds, putting his hand on Seb’s knee reassuringly. Gross. Lewis and Nico had been bad enough, but the way Mark and Seb walked in, Seb tucked protectively under Mark’s arm and looking up at him adoringly with those big baby-blue eyes, had practically made Jenson want to puke.

“Ok, I’m taking the lack of opposition as agreement, we need a surprisingly feminine twist on a McLaren,” Lewis says, calling them all back to attention.

They don’t actually need to change the team name-- it’s not like you need to register them consistently, and they’re some of the only people who bother showing up every week anyway-- but if Lewis needs a new team name to mark a clean break from Nico, they’ll give him a new team name, no questions asked.

“What about-- you know, like the Prince song, Little Red Corvette, but a McLaren instead,” Seb suggests. “The Little Red McLaren’s?”

They all turn to look at Seb, surprised, and Jenson sees his eyes go wide and his cheeks go pink from the attention, like a fairytale princess, his mouth rounding into a perfect circle. Fuck. Maybe Mark will be down to share, sometime, if he asks nicely.

They all look from Seb to Jenson then, like it’s on him to approve the name, like he’s the one calling the shots. And maybe, though he’s never thought of it that way, he is.

Until tonight, they’d been a set of matched pairs-- Jenson and Mark, Lewis and Nico, two coworkers each with their best friend from college. Not like he and Mark are anything like Lewis and Nico had been, of course. They've never fought and rarely fucked, and have kept things on a strictly friendly level, emotionally, which might explain why they're the ones still sitting here together, while Lewis and Nico have crashed and burned.

With Nico out of the picture, Jenson feels the gravity of the whole pub quiz thing shifting towards him. Now, they’re a team of him, his best friend, his coworker, and his best friend’s new squeeze. It’s on him to make that work.

“I love it,” he says, raising his beer up to Seb’s. The rest of the group follows suit. “To the Little Red McLaren’s!” they toast, and then Michael flicks the lights on and off five times, the sign that the competition is starting.

---

It turns out that Seb is more than just pretty damn good at pub quiz.

He’s breathtaking.

They win that night by so much that Michael pulls out tiny glasses and treats them to a bottle of his homemade 60 proof limoncello to celebrate, and then they drink so much limoncello that they end up commandeering the jukebox, for hours, until Michael declares last call for drinks and classic rock both, and they put on “American Pie” and stand there in a circle, arms around each other-- Jenson-Mark-Seb-Lewis-Jenson -- swaying to the music and singing along.

“Is it always like this?” he hears Seb ask Mark, in what’s clearly meant to be a whisper, and Mark presses a kiss to the top of Seb’s head and says, “Stick around, baby, and I think it might be.”

Jenson feels his stomach drop, and for a second he wonders if he's had too much limoncello, if he's going to be sick. And then Mark's left hand, the one draped over him, catches hold of his shoulder for a moment, and squeezes, and the room stops spinning.

#happy birthday!!!!#warriorbarnes #quick fics #pub quiz au #martian #jenson / mark #brocedes

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benevolentbirdgal · 4 years

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Purim: a Jewish holiday and wild ride from start to finish

So let me tell you about the absolute soap opera that is the Jewish holiday of Purim. The scene is set in ancient (appx. 4th century B.C.E.) Persia during the first Jewish Diaspora, in the city of Shushan (typically identified in secular sources as Susa, a now-abandoned ancient city in what is now Iran). I’m telling you, as a work of literature (even beyond theological implications for Jewish people), this book has everything: love, drama, royalty, intrigue, ego, plots, irony, mystery, and a strong female lead.

[some non-slur swearing below]

Ahasuerus, party-loving king of Persia executed or exiled (translations argue) his wife Vashti, and had to find a new queen. Why did he do this, you ask? Well, it really starts with an 180-day party across his kingdom for all his subjects to celebrate the third year of his reign. After that absolute rager, party-bro KA has another one immediately after for a week, this time just for the capital city of Shushan. Vashti was having a woman’s party in her quarters, presumably living her best life, when party-bro sends his top seven yes-men to deliver a message to Vashti. This sleaze-ball wants her to appear at his party in front of everyone, wearing her crown, with the clear implication being only her crown. Vashti more or less tells him to pound sand (I mean, not the literal translation, but that’s the sentiment).

KA’s advisors convince him that this is not only an offense against the king but also against all the men in the country (ah, the joys of ancient patriarchy and toxic af masculinity). KA writes a degree that women must respect their husbands so he has an official reason to get rid of Vashti. Vashti is soon thereafter out of the picture and the king is short a queen. Whether she was a Wise Lady With A Point Who Got Screwed Over or a Vicious Jew-Hating Adulteress Who Had It Coming has been a matter of furious debate for over two millennia (the Babylonian Talmud and the Jerusalem Talmud vociferously disagree on her). In any case, KA regrets it pretty quick and wants a new queen.

At the behest of his advisors (you know, since their last advice worked out soooooo well), KA had a big contest/forcible gathering of young women from around his kingdom and a Jewish woman, Hadassah, was the winner. Hadassah was an orphan raised by her cousin Mordechai in the city of Shushan. Hadassah is more commonly known as Esther, because she changed her name to hide her identity as a Jew (at the behest of Mordechai). In any case, KA decided he liked Esther best and she became queen (it’s specifically mentioned both that he loved her most and that the palace staff liked her because she was nice to them-it’s unclear how much of an influence the latter was).

Concurrently, a wicked man named Haman was the top advisor to the king and the king would basically rubber-stamp whatever Haman wanted. Haman was a raging Jew-hater-this will be relevant later.

Some time into Esther’s reign as queen, Mordechai, who has taken to hanging around the gates of the palace to keep in touch with Esther, overhears a plot by two guards, Bigthan and Teresh, to kill the king. Mordechai alerts his cousin, and she tells the king. It’s recorded in the book of deeds and life keeps moving.

Some time later, Haman decides (after a promotion to head lackey) that he wants all to bow to him as he passes. Mordechai refused to bow to Haman every single day (citing that as a Jew he bowed to no man), and that did not sit well with Haman. So despite being prime minister and presumably having more important things to do, “genocide the Jews” made it to the top of to-do list. He didn’t like them before, and Mordechai refusing to treat him like a special snowflake was something he took really, really personally (totally can’t think of any modern politicians like that, nope). He told KA, who frankly doesn’t seem to ask enough questions, that there was a people disrespecting the king and his laws throughout the land, and could he pretty-please exterminate them. As a bonus, Haman would “donate” 10,000 silver kikar to the royal treasury (modern conversion vary, but all agree this an absurd amount on money).

KA handed him the royal seal to do so. Haman was feeling lucky I guess so he decided the best course of action was to draw lots to pick the day for the massacre. [Purim is lots in Hebrew, so that’s where the name of the holiday came from]. The message went out to all the provinces that on the thirteenth day of the twelfth month, that they citizens and leaders should murder all of the Jews, young and old, man, woman, and child, rich and poor and take their possessions as spoils.

As this wasn’t exactly a state secret, the Jews knew and were quite distressed. The planned slaughter was like a year out, but what the actual fuck were they supposed to do? If you lived in Persia at that point that, the empire was functionally your entire world, unless you were fabulously/ridiculously wealthy and well-connected. Having several months notice the other locals and your rules were going to slaughter you and take your stuff isn’t particularly useful when there’s really nowhere to go.

In Shushan, Mordechai (who, although not explicitly in text, is in oral/Talmudic tradition a leader of the Jewish community) goes into mourning. He dresses in sackcloth and ashes, he weeps, and he fasts at the gates of the palace, as Jews throughout shushan and the kingdom are doing. Esther hears of her cousin’s mourning behavior and tries to send along nice clothes through a messenger, which he refuses. It is then that she learns of the decree. Mordechai (through the messenger) implores her to go ask the king if the Jews not getting murdered could be a thing. Esther explains that she could be killed for approaching the king unsummoned. Mordechai stresses the severity of the situation. Esther agrees to ask the king and tells Mordechai to have the Shushan Jewish community fast day and night (as opposed to just day as prior) for three days, and she and her handmaidens will fast too (no word on what the handmaidens thought of this).

On the third day, Esther bravely approached the king, asked him if she could request something. He said anything, up to half his kingdom (which implies to me that homedude, for all his flaws, was actually into her). Esther invited him to a party, where he and Haman would be the only guests. At the party she asks if she can another request. KA is open to it and she invites him to another party the next night. Party-bro king is obviously down and Haman is tickled to death at this second invitation.

He goes home to brag to his wife, Zeresh, about the invite and also to bitch about how angsty he is Mordechai is still alive (this angst reignited by passing him on the way home). Zeresh suggests he have fifty-foot gallows built to make Mordechai an example on, with the king’s permission, ASAP. Haman orders the building of the gallows, feeling secure in the knowledge that his bestie the king will execute Mordechai on them.

Back at the castle KA can’t sleep. He demands a bedtime story from the his records, because those will presumably put him to sleep. The story that gets read, ~coincidentally~, is of Mordechai saving KA’s life. Haman had sidled on up to the castle to speak to the king about killing Mordechai, and the king called him in. KA asks Haman, if he were to honor someone, what should he do? Haman is thinking “this is obvi about me” and tells the king that the honoree should be donned in royal clothing, and ride through the streets on a fancy horse with people someone shouting how great he is. KA is like great, love it, perf, go do that for Mordechai. Haman is not a happy camper but does the thing. After that, he goes home and tells Zeresh about it, who warns him that this is a very bad sign.

Finally, that night is the night of Esther’s second soiree. Haman and KA attend. The latter offers to Esther anything she wants, up to half of his kingdom. Esther asks that her life, and the life of her people be spared. KA is like “whomst” and Esther revealed it was Haman. At this point Ahasuerus.exe stops working and he takes a walk to the gardens. He comes back to see Haman begging Esther for his life, and KA thinks Haman is assaulting her. Haman was seized by nearby guards.

One of the chamberlains is then like, hey, KA, coincidentally there’s these super high gallows Haman just had built. Why not take care of the problem that way? (The fact that the random nearby chamberlain was like yup, that dude, hang ‘em in the morning, probably says a lot about how Haman treated most people around him, even more than forcing all to bow to him). KA orders it be done.

Not that Haman was around to be sad about it, but what happened next would have massively pissed him off, as his old job then went to Mordechai. Esther then implored of the king that the degree to allow the massacre of the Jews be reversed. The king couldn’t Cntrl+Z the order to murder-all-the-Jews, but he could issue an order that they could fight back. The proclamation was sent throughout the land, and the Jews were able to prepare. Since the royal decree had been amended, the governments (princes, governors, satraps) largely reformulated their plans accordingly, but plenty of Jew-haters still wanted to use the opportunity. The ability to self-defend meant that the communities weren’t massacred. In most of the kingdom, the Jews were now safe. Outside of Shushan, the fourteenth of Adar became a feast day.

Shushan was still not safe though. Antisemites were still out and mad (and apparently had not learned from the previous day), so Esther asked the Jews of Shushan to be allowed to defend themselves once more. Her wish was granted, and the Shushan Jews were able to defend themselves once more (so Purim is celebrated a day later in walled cities).

The story ends with the decision to write it down, and although there some debate on authorship, it is traditionally attributed to Esther herself cowriting with Mordechai.

Nowhere in the book is God mentioned. Nowhere is there divine intervention (at least not explicitly). Just Jews sticking up for themselves, being brave in the face of mortal peril, and a metric fucktown of chutzpah.

#jumblr #purim #purim story #jewish soap opera for real though #purim 2021 #purim 5781 #what is purim #purim explained #jewblr

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contemplativepancakes · 3 years

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number one wiener eater

written for the @lambertbigbang, with art by the amazing @geralt-of-riviass here! Make sure to check it out :D (also a ginormous thanks to @hoomhum for betaing and helping me work out the extremely complicated logistics of bathroom stall sex). Read on ao3 here!

When Lambert loses the hot dog eating contest that he’s won for the past three years in a row, there’s nothing he would love more than to find who beat him and punch them in the face. Unfortunately, he was too busy throwing up to know who the winner was.

All he knows is that he’s kind of maybe in love with the guy who held his hair while he puked. (8k, explicit, lambden, cw: vomiting, semi public sex)

Lambert’s gonna puke. He keeps stuffing the buns in his mouth, but they’re like glue, and his jaw refuses to work. He swallows, but nothing goes down. He takes a desperate gulp of water and sputters on it. Jerking his head up to glance at the countdown clock, he silently curses as he sees he has seconds left. He shoves what he can into his already full mouth, raising his hands up as the judge shouts for them to stop.

He takes a second to glance down the long line of other competitive eaters, but a wave of nausea hits him, and he looks at the ground, determined on keeping everything down. He keeps chewing and working to swallow as the judge takes away the plate to weigh it. Another comes down the aisle casting a critical eye at their tables, making sure that not too much food went onto the ground or table instead of their mouths.

It’s blazing outside today, and sweat coats Lambert’s face. Acid burns up his throat, but he chokes it back. He’s not a lightweight.

Lambert’s won this contest the past three years in a row, and he’s pretty sure he has this one in the bag. It’s no Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest, and he’s no Joey Chestnut, but he’s at least good, and the prize money is decent enough. He’s had his eye on an inflatable jacuzzi—for the women, Geralt. And the men—and he’s excited to make his maybe ill-advised purchase.

He waits for them to announce the winner, bouncing his foot on the ground to give himself something to focus on besides the rising wave of whatever’s churning in his gut.

When the judges stand up on their small podium, a hush falls over the small crowd gathered. Lambert directs his attention to them, but a bright burst of nausea hits him and sends sweat dripping down his back, and he doesn’t manage to hear anything after that.

He pukes.

“Oh jeez, are you okay?” a voice comes from somewhere on his left.

“Fine,” Lambert grunts, wiping his mouth and grimacing at the burning taste left in his mouth. Definitely more pleasant as the hot dogs were going down than up.

“Are you sure? You seem shaky.”

“I’m fine,” Lambert grumbles, and finally looks up at the guy, who puts his hands up in surrender.

“Just checking.”

He starts to heave again, and he reaches for the pail thoughtfully provided for them by the contest sponsors.

“Yep, you sure seem fine!” the other man chirps.

Lambert retches one more time, and the man hands him a napkin. Lambert takes it suspiciously, wondering if this is a reporter or something. He’s not sure why someone would want to deal with this.

The man hands him a bottle of water next, and Lambert purses his lips as he twists the top off. He squints at him. “Who are you?” he finally asks.

“Oh, sorry. I’m Aiden.”

All that does is give Lambert a name, not answer his question, but he doesn’t comment further, just offers his own name in a grunt.

“Oh, I know who you are.”

“You a fan?”

“You could say that,” Aiden says with a grin, and Lambert rolls his eyes.

“They didn’t tell me competitive eating gets you groupies.”

Aiden gives him a full throated laugh at that, and Lambert curses himself when he catches himself thinking that it sounds kind of nice. Those are exactly the kind of thoughts he doesn’t want to be having. Especially not for some weirdo that stopped to what, hold his hair while he puked? Who does that? If he’s not careful, he’s going to end up in an ice bath one kidney short.

Lambert wipes his mouth with the back of his hand again, surreptitiously checking his breath. It’s not peaches and cream, that’s for sure.

Lambert sets the pail down and faces Aiden, trying to flat out dislike him at how white his teeth are, how perfectly coiffed his dark curly hair is even in this heat, but he fails as Aiden continues to be nothing but nice to him, making small talk as Lambert tries to pull himself together.

After Lambert’s fully sat up instead of half way hunched over, expecting another vomiting wave to hit him, Aiden straightens up, too. “Well, I guess I’ll be seeing you around, then, huh?”

Lambert’s confused for a second, because he’s never seen Aiden before, but he decides he’s going to take this as a good sign. Or maybe a bad sign for the fate of his kidneys, whatever the case may be.

“I would hope so,” Lambert settles on, deciding that sounds like a good mix of hopeful and not at all like he’s desperate for a little human contact.

Aiden gives him a little half wave that has no right to be as adorable as it is when a grown man does it, and Lambert frowns and tamps down the feelings rising in his gut. No, he’s not going to call them butterflies. He’s not a twelve year old; he doesn’t get crushes, and he certainly doesn’t get butterflies in his stomach.

Lambert eventually manages to get up and walks away from the contest, sadly bereft of the prize money. He missed the announcement of the winner while he was busy throwing up, but he caught the disappointed looks some of the spectators were casting him, so he knows it isn’t him. He doesn’t even want to know who it was. He’ll just dwell endlessly. His stomach is still roiling as he clambers into his car, but at this point, he’s not sure why.

It’s what he ate, he’s sure.

Lambert slams his kitchen cupboard door shut. “I don’t want to talk about it, Geralt,” he mutters.

Geralt always wants to hash every detail of his competitions, and while normally Lambert is happy to indulge him, he just doesn’t want to talk about this one, okay?

It has everything to do with him losing and absolutely nothing to do with Aiden. Nothing at all.

“Okay, fine,” Geralt says, raising his hands and backing up. “No need to get so grouchy about it.”

Lambert scowls. “I’m not grouchy.”

“Right. Prove it.”

“Fine.” Lambert crosses his arms.

Geralt grins. “Return my library book for me? It’s due today, and there’s no way I’m making it over to that side of town today, I’m slammed.”

“Yeah? You’re so slammed you had time to come here and harass me?”

Geralt reaches forward to ruffle Lambert’s hair, and Lambert knocks his hand away. “Not harassment. Just brotherly concern. Have you seen the wikipedia page for competitive eating? And you expect me not to worry?” Geralt scoffs.

Lambert rolls his eyes. “Stop being so over protective, mom.”

“Deal. If you return my book.”

Lambert rolls his eyes, but he takes the book. He looks down at the title, then back up at Geralt, raising his eyebrows. “Really? Twilight?”

“I didn’t even think you knew how to read, Lamb,” Geralt deflects.

Lambert huffs. “I don’t know if I want to embarrass myself by returning this, but whatever. If anyone asks, it’s my sister’s book. You owe me.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m the one in the lead on favors.”

“I doubt it.”

Lambert makes a show of taking the book between his pinched thumb and forefinger, Geralt rolling his eyes all the while. “I know, I know. You hear vampire, and you can’t help yourself,” Lambert says.

Geralt shrugs before clapping his hands on his thighs. “All right, I better get going. I have to pick Ciri up from school.”

“And you couldn’t have gone after to the library with her?”

“She has martial arts.”

Lambert sighs. He can help Geralt out this once, he supposes.

Geralt leaves and Lambert eyes the book setting on his coffee table. He guesses he might as well go now, and he can poke around and see if there’s anything that catches his eye. He hasn’t been to the library in nearly a year, but it might be a nice change of pace.

Lambert clambers to his feet, stopping to grab his wallet and keys before walking out to his car.

He hits every red light between his apartment and the library, and his good mood has nearly evaporated by the time he gets there. That changes when he walks in the door and sees who’s sitting at the front desk. “Aiden?” he doesn’t squeak.

Aiden looks up from where he’s typing furiously at a computer, and his face breaks out into a wide grin that makes Lambert’s stomach flip. “Lambert!”

Lambert looks down at the book he’s carrying and immediately hides it behind his back. Aiden quirks an eyebrow at him. “Got a return?”

“Yes, well, I mean, no—”

Aiden stretches out a hand, and Lambert resigns himself to his fate. He gives Aiden the book. Aiden barely glances at the cover, just gives Lambert a small smile and scans the barcode.

“I’m returning that for my brother,” Lambert can’t stop himself from saying.

Aiden glances back up at him. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Aiden nods once. “Likely story.”

Lambert splutters and then stops when he sees the shit eating grin Aiden’s giving him.

“Hey, all reading is good reading,” Aiden says. “I’m not going to rag on you.”

“It’s my brother’s,” Lambert mumbles again, but he shakes his head in defeat.

“Let me know if you need help finding anything.”

Lambert would normally rather die before asking for help, but he thinks it might be okay if it's Aiden he’s asking for it from. He wouldn’t have offered if he was busy or something, right?

The organ harvesting alarms start going off in Lambert’s brain again, but he dismisses them. Someone so nice surely isn’t going to cut anything out of him. And even if he does, Lambert would bet Aiden would give the good drugs, so he wouldn’t even feel it. He seems nice like that.

Yeah, that’d be okay.

Lambert moves farther into the library, going between the stacks where no one can see him. He’s not sure what books he should get to try and recover the remaining shreds of his dignity.

He whips out his phone and searches long classic books. He scrolls down the page a little frantically until he lands on War and Peace. He’s heard of that before. He’s pretty sure it’s a well regarded book. What if Aiden thinks he’s a pretentious dick? Okay, maybe he is, a little, but he doesn’t want to give him that impression right off the bat. Lambert’s already ruined his first, and second impression, he doesn’t want to mess up the third.

Lambert makes his way down the aisles, squinting as he looks for the Ts. He pulls out the book with a flourish after he finally finds it, weighing its impressive heft in his hand. He cracks it open and finds it to be suitably dense. He makes his way back up to the circulation desk, where Aiden’s scanning in returns from their self service slot.

Why didn’t Lambert just use that? He could slap himself. Well, he guesses he wouldn’t have seen Aiden if he did that, so at risk of sounding like a creepy stalker, he’s glad he came in.

Lambert thunks the book down on the counter. Aiden looks at it, then up to Lambert, a grin spreading across his face. “Just a bit of light reading for you then?”

Heat rises to Lambert’s cheeks, not sure if he’s being mocked or not. He shrugs. “It’s been on my list.”

Aiden holds a hand out, his eyebrows raised expectantly.

“Uh…”

“I need your library card,” Aiden says patiently.

“Right. Um, let’s see here.”

Lambert hasn’t been to the library since the last time he came with Ciri to pick out movies they were going to watch while she stayed with him, and he pulls out his wallet. He holds it open to thumb through it, wondering why the fuck he feels the need to carry so many gift cards around that he’s never going to use. Foil crinkles as he goes through everything, and he resolutely does not make eye contact with Aiden.

It’s no use, though. “You’re not supposed to carry those around in your wallet, you know,” he says conversationally. “Wears holes in them.”

There’s a quip on Lambert’s tongue about using them often enough that he doesn’t have to worry about that, but he bites it back. He’s not a creep who would say that at someone’s job.

After another painful ten seconds, Lambert gives up on finding the card. He thinks he remembers them giving him a miniature one for it, too, so he looks on his key chain instead, filled as it is with at least twenty different discount cards and various baubles Ciri’s made for him.

“I can tell you’re a fine connoisseur of our goods,” Aiden comments.

“Shut up,” Lambert grouses, finally finding the little card and setting the whole thing down for Aiden.

Aiden scans it, keys and cards jingling against each other, and frowns. “It’s expired,” he says apologetically.

Lambert wishes the floor would open up and swallow him whole, especially as Aiden fingers the rooster on it that Eskel gave him after he came out. He should get around to cleaning off his keyring.

“I guess I know you really were returning that book for your brother?” Aiden offers.

Despite himself, Lambert smiles. “I guess you do.” Lambert swallows. “So what do I have to do to renew it? I think I might have to start coming here more often.”

Aiden gives him a tiny grin, and they get the card renewed, then the book checked out. “I’ll be expecting a report on how it was when you return it,” Aiden says of War and Peace, tucking the receipt into the book.

Lambert’s not sure if he had been entirely convinced he was actually going to read it, but he finds himself saying, “You bet.”

Aiden flashes him a smile that Lambert would best describe as feral, and as he walks out to his car, Lambert wonders what exactly he’s gotten himself into.

Later that night finds Geralt back on Lambert’s couch. “I thought you were so busy,” Lambert complains.

“Well, Ciri’s at her martial arts class now and your apartment was close. What do you have to eat?”

Lambert rolls his eyes and resists the urge to shove Geralt’s feet off his coffee table. “Nothing for you.”

Geralt gets up to survey the refrigerator.

“If you put a finger on my burrito, I’ll end you,” Lambert threatens.

Lambert can practically hear Geralt rolling his eyes as he heaves a heavy sigh. “Do not drink out of the jug either.”

Geralt groans again. “Like you don’t?”

“Well, I’m the one who buys it. All you do is come over and eat my food like you don’t have any of your own.”

Geralt comes back to the couch after some muttering and putting something in the microwave. Lambert resists the urge to strangle him. When Geralt comes back, it’s with chinese takeout that’s been in the refrigerator for at least two weeks. Lambert doesn’t say anything.

He watches with a raised eyebrow as Geralt slurps down the noodles, mildly impressed at his stomach of steel. He’s always thought Geralt would be a good competitive eater.

When Geralt finally puts the chop sticks down and comes back up for air, he brightens and reaches into his pocket. “Here, I saved this for you.”

Geralt hands a folded up newspaper clipping to him, and Lambert scowls upon seeing the picture of the hot dog eating contest sign. He crumples it up and tosses it at Geralt’s head.

Geralt’s hand automatically comes up and bats it away, making it fall to the floor. “Jeez, I try to do one nice thing…”

“Don’t act like being nice was your motivation.”

Geralt gives him a cheshire cat grin. “You’re too easy to rile up, you know that?”

“Yeah, thanks a lot for that, shit lips. By the way, you’re welcome for taking back your book. I nearly got laughed out of the library.”

Geralt smirks at him. Fortunately for Geralt, there’s nothing for Lambert to throw at him again within arms reach.

“I see you even got a book. That’s some heavy reading,” Geralt says, a look of mock seriousness pasted on his face.

“Shut up.”

“That’d take you at least three years to read.”

“Shut up,” Lambert says again, putting his hands over his ears.

“Almost seems like you got that just to impress someone; I’ve never known you to have an interest in the classics before.”

Lambert looks at the book sitting on the coffee table and considers just braining Geralt with it. Surely a jury would be understanding that sometimes you just have to hit your stupid as fuck brother upside the head with a three pound book.

Not guilty, for sure.

Lambert snaps out of his daydream to look pointedly at the clock. “Exactly how long is Ciri’s class?”

Geralt checks his watch. “Shit, I gotta go.”

Lambert grouses as Geralt puts on his jacket and leaves his bowl on the table for Lambert. “I’m not a maid!” he shouts after Geralt’s retreating back.

Geralt flips him off and then blows him a kiss, leaving Lambert to wonder if he’s just broken a record for the world’s longest eye roll.

Lambert looks back to the book. He guesses he has nothing better to do…

Lambert makes it through the book much more quickly than he anticipated; once he gets past the dry as fuck language, it’s actually kind of interesting.

He’s excited but also dreading going back to the library. This time he should probably be better prepared when he goes in, so he doesn’t have to frantically flick through his phone hidden in the middle of the stacks trying to find something to check out that’s not going to make him look like an idiot.

He searches for something interesting sounding, but maybe something that’s not going to make Aiden laugh at him this time. Well, maybe he can make him laugh in a good way instead of making fun of him, Lambert muses as he scrolls through book titles.

And so, the next time when he goes to the library, he surprises a laugh out of Aiden when he slams A Treatise of Cocks and Hens onto the counter to check out.

“You into animal husbandry now?” Aiden snickers.

“I’ve been considering some laying hens,” Lambert says in mock seriousness. “Why, you got any advice?”

“Ah. Eggs, nature’s perfect food,” he says sagely. “I am sure that is the only reason why you’ve chosen this particular book.”

“Yep.”

Aiden grins. “Huh. Very interesting. Well, I’ll be expecting a report back. By the way, how was War and Peace?”

“Surprisingly not terrible.”

Aiden drums his fingers on the counter, scrutinizing him. “Huh.”

“What do you mean, ‘huh?’”

“A man can’t say ‘huh’ without being ruthlessly interrogated now? What is this country coming to?”

Lambert shakes his head at the dramatics and finally remembers to hand over his library card. Aiden scans it, then his book, a small smile still playing at the corner of his mouth. The receipt prints, and Lambert holds out his hand for it, but Aiden takes it and scribbles something down before tucking it in the book.

“Just...personalized service for our valued members,” he says with a wink.

“I’m not paying for anything; I don’t think you need to try that hard.”

“Are you complaining?”

Lambert shakes his head hastily. “Definitely not.”

Aiden slides the book across the counter to him. “Come back soon,” he says with a cheeky wave.

Lambert barely resists the urge to stick his tongue out at him, and where did that come from, but he manages to make it out of the library without making a total ass of himself. When he gets out to his car, he slides behind the wheel and takes the receipt out of the bag.

On it is a number, one Lambert hopes like fuck is Aiden’s and not just some cruel joke, and the words, Text me what you learned from this book. I want to learn all about it (;

Lambert traces his fingers over the word cock on the cover.

He can’t believe that actually worked.

When he tells Geralt the news, Geralt howls with laughter.

Predictably, Geralt is eating his food again, and is being absolutely no help in assisting Lambert with choosing the clothes he should wear on his date. He had somehow worked up the nerve to text Aiden, and after a week of sending waffling texts back and forth, they’re going to a bar together. Shit, Lambert hasn’t been on a date in forever.

“Calm down,” Geralt says around a mouthful of pasta from Lambert’s bed, watching his eyes dart back and forth around his closet. “Wear a button down,” he advises. “That’s respectable.”

“Not like I’m trying too hard?”

Geralt hums. “Maybe.”

Lambert scowls at him. “Why are you even here if you’re not going to help?”

Geralt points a fork to his bowl. “Dude, you made bolognese. Where else am I going to be?”

“Don’t you have a kid or something you need to watch?” Lambert asks, but it’s without heat.

“She’s with Yen tonight. I wanted a front row seat to this shit show, and they’re going to an opera or something. I don’t ask questions.”

“Wow, thank you for your enthusiastic support.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you care this much before,” Geralt observes.

“Yeah, well, he’s nice. I’ve never dated someone who’s nice before.”

“I can only hope he rubs off on you.”

Lambert nods. “We can only hope.”

Geralt throws a pillow at him. “Don’t be a pervert.”

“Hey! You’re the one who said it, not me.”

Geralt sets the bowl down, balancing precariously on Lambert’s bed and claps his hands over his ears. “I do not want to think about you doing any of that. You’re going to be 12 to me forever.”

“Geralt, you are six years older than me.”

“And?”

Lambert shakes his head as he pulls out a polo before discarding it.

Why the hell does he even have that? He wouldn’t be caught dead wearing a fucking polo.

In the end, Lambert settles on nothing too out of the norm from his typical style. He doesn’t want Aiden to get the wrong idea, and he’s sure Aiden won’t hesitate in making fun of him if he tries too hard. He wets his comb and runs it through his hair, but it’s really too short to stick up in odd angles, which is exactly the way he likes it.

He shoos Geralt out of his apartment as he leaves. “I can’t leave you unsupervised to poke through my things,” he says, and Geralt doesn’t even argue with him about it, which is highly concerning because that means it’s true.

Lambert’s heart is jackrabbiting against his chest as he walks out to his car. He gives Geralt a gruff goodbye before ducking into his car, plugging his phone into the radio and cranking the volume up. He tries to focus on the lyrics instead of the pounding in his chest that he can feel pulsating in his wrists. He scrolls through his songs until he finds something by Minor Threat so he can turn it up and drown out the rest of his thoughts.

He’s meeting Aiden at the bar, because Geralt told him it was weird to pick someone up on the first date, and that Aiden was an Independent Man, whatever that meant. He probably shouldn’t listen to Geralt.

He beats his fingers in rapid bursts on his steering wheel in time with the music until he gets there, and then he checks his phone to see it’s way too early to go in yet. God, he’s messing this up already. He scrolls through his social media feeds while he waits until his phone buzzes with an incoming picture. He clicks over to it, to see—himself, hunched over behind the steering wheel of his car. It’s taken through a window, and it’s sort of definitely mega creepy.

Aiden: you coming in, or do you just plan on sitting out there all night?

Lambert checks the time again and verifies that no, he’s still 20 minutes early. A small smile crawls across his face.

He gets out and walks into the bar, looking around. Aiden waves to him, and he’s sitting at a booth, not even at the bar.

“Wow. Classy.” Lambert comments as he slides in next to him.

Shit, should he have sat across from him? Aiden apparently doesn’t mind by the way he immediately presses against Lambert.

“Can’t believe I got you out of your academic setting,” Aiden smirks. “How goes the chicken husbandry?”

“I’m considering building a coop,” Lambert says on reflex.

“I can’t even tell if you’re joking.”

Lambert grins. “Only mostly. Don’t you think that would be cute, or whatever?”

“What, you in a frilly apron collecting eggs? Yeah, I could get behind that.”

Lambert’s face gets hot almost instantly. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I think it should be.” Aiden quirks an eyebrow at him in challenge, one which Lambert immediately cops out of.

“What do you want to drink?”

Lambert stands up with Aiden’s order and goes to the bar to get it, wondering what Geralt’s opinion on how the bill should be split is.

When he comes back, Aiden’s checking his phone, but he quickly sets it down when Lambert slips in beside him again.

“Just letting my friend know I’m not dead,” he says brightly. “I sent her the picture of you, and that’s already shady enough to be perfect for America’s Most Wanted, so I’d keep that in mind.”

Lambert snorts. “Noted,” he says, passing over the beer.

Aiden takes a gulp, and Lambert’s gaze doesn’t linger on how Aiden’s lips wrap around the bottle, not one bit.

Aiden sets the bottle down on the table with a clunk, liquid making its way dangerously close to the top, but none splashes out.

“So tell me about yourself, besides the fact that you eat too many hot dogs, read long books in the hopes of impressing librarians, and are blue printing a chicken coop.”

Lambert drums his fingers on the table and shrugs. “I’m not that interesting. And who said I was trying to impress you?”

Aiden shrugs and takes another drink of his beer, setting it back down and swiping a finger through the condensation. “Aren’t you?”

Lambert stands up abruptly. “Come on, pool table’s empty.”

“I think you’re going to have to show me how to handle my stick.”

Lambert groans and shoves at him. “That was so bad. That was terrible. I’m not rewarding you for that.”

Aiden grins at him, and they play pool, with Aiden exaggerating his cue handling the entire time. If Lambert has to watch him run his hands down its length one more time…

“What exactly are you angling for, here, hmm?” Lambert asks, sidling up next to him and nudging him out of the way so he can take aim for the cue ball.

Aiden shrugs. “Whatever you’re willing to give me.” He crosses his arms and leans back against the wall. “I’m easy.”

Lambert squeezes his eyes shut for a second at the mental image that provides before gulping. “I, uh, haven’t really been with anyone in a while. Might be a little rusty.”

Aiden crowds behind him and wraps his arms around Lambert’s waist. “Just like riding a bike,” he says into his ear.

Lambert leans down and hits the cue ball, knocking the black eight into the middle pocket. “Well, shit.” They both know he did it on purpose.

Aiden takes Lambert’s hand for a second, and Lambert has to make a conscious effort not to short circuit. “Meet me in the bathroom,” he murmurs before turning away, leaving Lambert to fidget uncomfortably. He knocks all the balls into the pockets and hangs up their cues, dithering a little to try not to make this too obvious. Jesus, he feels like he’s 22 again, only this time he’s doing it with someone he actually likes and not just to get a reaction out of his dad when he found out.

Lambert sets his hands on the pool table and takes a deep breath before heading to the bathroom. He walks in, noting that no, this isn’t a single stall, and anyone could walk on them. His heart beats a little faster.

Aiden’s at the sink washing his hands, and Lambert walks up behind him, mouthing at his neck and wrapping his arms around him.

“Took you long enough,” Aiden says, leaning back into him. “Come on.” Aiden tugs him into a stall and slides the lock shut behind them.

It’s a tight squeeze, two grown men in one tiny stall, and to be honest, it’s a little disgusting. Lambert leans past Aiden to close the toilet seat so he doesn’t have to look at the piss stains.

“Oh, I’m sorry, does that offend your delicate sensibilities?”

“A little bit, yeah.”

Aiden’s grin drops for a second. “You want to do this, right?”

Lambert tugs Aiden against him sharply and kisses him hard before pulling back. “Oh, yeah. Enthusiastically. Have you looked in a mirror lately?”

Lambert yanks Aiden’s shirt out of his pants, putting his hands on Aiden’s torso, enjoying the soft flesh and moving his way up until he can brush his thumb over Aiden’s nipple. Aiden leans back in to kiss him again, shoving his hands down Lambert’s pants where he’s growing steadily harder.

Aiden strokes him inside his underwear, and Lambert forgot how fucking good this feels. He still has one ear on the door, waiting for someone else to come inside the restroom. He’s not sure what they’re going to do if that happens, so he supposes he better move this along.

Lambert leans his head back against the stall door as Aiden jerks him to full hardness, their kiss turning into something uncoordinated and sloppy.

“Feel good?” Aiden murmurs.

“Fuck, yeah,” Lambert says, and his eyes get wide as Aiden drops to his knees.

Aiden pulls him out of his pants, finally unbuttoning them and relieving some of the pressure. Lambert winces as he looks down at the mystery stains on the floor, but Aiden’s unaffected. Lambert bites down on his lip as he looks down at Aiden, leaning forward to take him into his mouth.

“Wait,” he says, and his voice sounds far away. He fumbles for his wallet, thumbing through it to find the condom from the other day.

Aiden laughs and quirks an eyebrow at him.

“It’s a new one,” Lambert says defensively.

Aiden takes it from and tears it open, rolling it down Lambert’s length. “Good?” he asks, and Lambert eagerly nods.

Warm heat envelopes him, and he instinctively threads a hand through Aiden’s hair. Aiden seems to like that, and he starts doing something to the sensitive spot just under Lambert’s head that has him panting after a minute.

The door to the bathroom creaks open then, and Lambert tugs on Aiden’s hair urgently, but Aiden doesn’t let up, if anything, just increases whatever he’s doing down there until Lambert can barely see straight, let alone keep his noises to himself.

There’s the sound of someone unzipping themselves, and Lambert looks down at Aiden incredulously. Does this person really not notice them? Judging by the intensity of the stream they let out, Lambert’s guessing not.

Aiden brings his hand up to stroke the part of Lambert’s cock not in his mouth and keeps up the steady rhythm of his mouth. It feels incredible, tight wet heat around his cock, and Lambert’s concerned his lip is going to bleed if he keeps biting it this hard. A whine starts emanating from him as Aiden increases his speed.

The urinal finally flushes, and Aiden determinedly licks at the underside of Lambert’s cock, making him gasp. Lambert gives a little yank on his hair; he knows Aiden did that on purpose. Aiden looks up at him as innocently as he can with a mouth full of cock.

It’s obscene.

The person doesn’t even wash their hands before they leave, but Lambert can’t find it in him to bemoan their lack of hygiene, he’s just glad for some semblance of privacy again as he lets out a broken moan.

Aiden keeps it up, bobbing back and forth and twisting his hands around Lambert’s cock until he gasps, coming as his legs nearly give out from underneath him. “Fuck,” he says vehemently, panting as he tries to catch his beath. “Mild mannered librarian by day... But you’re sure something else at night, huh?” Lambert tugs a hand through Aiden’s coarse curls, delighting in the way they’re so pullable and soft.

Aiden hums and pulls off, Lambert’s eyes catching on the trail of saliva that follows Aiden’s lips, still connected to Lambert’s cock. “I don’t know about mild mannered.”

Aiden pulls off the condom and knots it, tucking it back into its original foil and putting it on top of the toilet paper dispenser before Lambert fists a hand in the collar of Aiden’s shirt and pulls him to his feet, kissing him messily and reveling in the taste of Aiden’s mouth. He reaches down between them, surprised to find Aiden still fully hard. He maneuvers Aiden around until his back is to the stall door instead of Lambert. Lambert squeezes him before getting to his knees himself, clumsy and unpracticed.

It’s been too long.

Lambert’s knees hit the hard floor, the cold tiles leaching warmth from his legs, even through his jeans. He finds himself not even caring about the ever present ammonia stench and the piss stains everywhere he looks. He unbuttons Aiden’s pants and unzips them, trying not to roll his eyes at the fact that he wore slacks to a bar. How difficult does he think Lambert is to impress, exactly, because Lambert would be the first to tell you it’s not that hard.

Speaking of things that are hard...Lambert jerks his fist along Aiden’s cock a few times, before pulling out another condom and putting it on him, moving forward to take the head into his mouth.

“Jesus, how many of those do you carry around?” Aiden asks, a little breathless.

Lambert pulls off for a moment. “I used to be a boy scout.”

“Liar,” Aiden hisses, but then his head is thudding back against the stall door as Lambert does a particularly clever twist of his fist. He keeps it moving along Aiden’s cock as he gets the head sloppy with spit, paying special attention to the sensitive spot on the underside.

Aiden twitches under his ministrations, and Lambert looks up at him, satisfied as he sees Aiden’s head is still leaned back against the stall door, his eyes squeezed shut.

Lambert hums as he takes more into his mouth, bobbing his head back and forth as he moves his hand farther back to play with Aiden’s balls. He rolls them gently in his hands, running his thumb over the soft skin.

When he looks back up at Aiden, he’s staring at Lambert with undisguised want and he’s visibly restraining himself from being louder. Lambert’s just glad that no one else has come into the bathroom. There’s no question about what’s happening here, not with the slick sounds they’re making.

Lambert starts to suck on Aiden’s cock, then, and a quiet swear comes out of Aiden and his hands fly down, scrambling for purchase in Lambert’s hair, but it’s too short for him to do anything but comb at it uselessly. He ends up with one of his hands on the back of Lambert’s head, just resting there, his fingertips coming down occasionally to brush at Lambert’s neck.

Part of Lambert rebels at the tenderness, but another part of him revels in it, and he keeps the steady motion up until Aiden’s hips are starting to jerk minutely.

Lambert presses a hand against him, holding his hips in place against the stall while he tongues the vein on the underside of Aiden’s cock. He comes after what seems like both a small eternity and no time at all, a moan punching out of him.

Aiden brushes his thumb over the corner of Lambert’s mouth and brings it back up to suck it into his own, Lambert tracking the movement with the corner of his eye. Lambert buttons up his pants and attempts to straighten his shirt, but it might be a lost cause with how many wrinkles are in it from how Aiden had rucked it up. Lambert pulls the condom off and wraps it in toilet paper, setting it on top of the one from earlier.

Lambert cracks the stall door open to throw the condoms into the trash, wincing when he misses.

“That was literally three feet away, dude.”

Lambert scowls at him as he gingerly picks it up and places it in the bin. “Don’t call me dude after I just sucked your cock.”

Lambert shuts the stall door again, waiting for Aiden to be a little bit more presentable.

Aiden tugs his shirt down and smoothes his hand over it, and Lambert tucks him back into his pants and buttons up his pants for him. “Thanks, babe,” he says with a shit eating grin.

Aiden pats Lambert’s hand fondly, and it gives Lambert a warm feeling even as he rolls his eyes. Lambert unlocks the door, and they stumble out together. Aiden leans against him, still very much in Lambert’s personal space and with his hair a mess. “So. You want to do this again sometime?”

All Lambert can do is nod.

“Sometime” happens quite frequently over the next several months. After...years of not being in a relationship, and certainly not having regular sex, Lambert’s not complaing.

He brings Aiden lunch at the library occasionally, since he has to work weekends, and Aiden ends up at Lambert’s cooking meals for him more than once in a while. Geralt appreciates the variety, at any rate.

When Geralt met Aiden for the first time, Geralt did a double take, and Lambert still doesn’t know what that’s about, and he doesn’t think he wants to know, either. If Geralt has ever slept with Aiden, he...doesn’t know what he’ll do. Scream, at the very least.

They’re at Aiden’s tonight, and Lambert’s digging through his refrigerator. “Why the fuck do you have all this lettuce? You’d think you were the professional eater,” he gripes as he shoves no less than six heads of the lettuce out of the way to get to the milk.

Aiden snorts behind him. “You’d think, huh?”

Lambert’s distracted from the discovery by Aiden’s arms wrapping around his waist. Lambert turns around in the hold to put his arms around Aiden’s neck and tug him even closer. Aiden grinds his hips against him, but Lambert pushes him back a little. “We haven’t even eaten supper yet,” he chides.

Aiden sighs, a long, put upon thing. “I’m going to die of blue balls.”

“I think you’ll be just fine.”

“What’s next? You say you have a headache?” Aiden puts a hand over his forehead dramatically.

“No, I’ll just tell you to fuck off if I’m not interested. Don’t worry.”

Aiden leans in to bite at Lambert’s ear lobe, and Lambert shoves his face away. “Fuck off.”

“Aw, Lamb,” Aiden wheedles.

“Food, then sex. God, you’re insatiable.”

“Thank you.” Aiden looks entirely too pleased with himself, and Lambert rolls his eyes.

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t, you love me,” Aiden says in a sing song voice.

Lambert groans, burying his face in his hands. “I never should have told you that.”

Aiden sobers for a moment. “I’m so glad you did. I love you, too.”

“Stop being such a sap and help me make supper.”

Aiden rolls his eyes. “Okay, okay, I get it; you’re allergic to feelings. I see how it is. You tell a man something once after the best blow job of your life and then just expect him to forget about it.”

“It was really nice,” Lambert admits.

“That would be because I am the number one wiener eater,” he says proudly.

Lambert shoves him. “Don’t be disgusting.”

Aiden just grins at him unabashedly, pulling the chef’s knife out of their drawer and brandishing it a little too familiarly for Lambert’s comfort. Lambert rolls his eyes. “Here, chop these for me.”

Aiden sets to work and within an hour, they have a comforting meal pulled together. Lambert portions the pasta out onto plates, and they make quick work of it, both of them having tiny portions. Lambert is mainly on semi solids and liquids in preparation for his next contest, and Aiden, he guesses, is being supportive. When they’re done, Aiden looks at his watch and stands up, yawning. “I’m going to have to take a rain check, if you’ll survive.”

Lambert rolls his eyes at him. “I think I’ll live. It was your idea, anyway.”

Aiden makes a face at him, but pulls him into a kiss anyway. “I have a few last minute prep things to do for tomorrow.”

“Like what? Do you need help?” Lambert asks, frowning, wondering if Aiden is making a celebratory cake for him, or something. That might be jumping the gun a bit.

“Hey, I can’t give away all of my secrets, can I?”

“I suppose not,” Lambert says, squinting at him.

“All right, well, I’ll see you then. We can ride together, okay?”

Lambert nods his assent as Aiden practically shoos him out the door. It’s still light outside, and this is possibly the first time he’s left Aiden’s apartment while the evening light has shined on him the whole time he’s known Aiden. He squints into the sun as he clambers into his car.

Well, whatever. He has stuff he should be doing, anyway. Eyes on the prize, he coaches himself as he pops in a few sticks of gum. He’s got this. He’s so, totally got this, and nothing is going to distract him from winning.

The next day finds Lambert frowning at his phone, as Aiden tells him something, speaking way too quickly. “Sorry, I know I said I would ride with you but Gunther is out sick and I’m going to have to work up until, like, the very last minute before the contest…”

“Well, you don’t have to come,” Lambert says, concerned that maybe expecting Aiden to attend is asking too much, especially when his work is short staffed.

Aiden just laughs. “I bet you’d just love that, huh?”

Lambert is a little puzzled on why Aiden would say that, and he’s trying to think of a reply when someone shouts something in the background of the call. “Hey, I have to go. Love you, bye!”

There’s the beep of a disconnected call, and Lambert brings the phone down from his ear to stare at it. That was… a little bizarre. Well, whatever. He can’t have anything distracting him now. There’s no way he’s going to lose two contests in a row, not after he had to wait months for the next one to come around.

Lambert drives to the contest, pointedly not noting how empty his passenger seat is without Aiden in it. He looks forward to spending time with him, so to have it cancelled always leaves him feeling melancholy.

He clenches his jaw and turns up the radio, his fingers tapping a frantic rhythm on the wheel.

By the time he arrives, anxiety is coiling in his gut and he’s already sweating. He sits in his car for a moment, blasting the air conditioning. If he loses again, is he officially a has been? He takes a deep breath as he gets out, walking up to the judges and turning in his paperwork.

He turns to look for Aiden in the crowd, but he doesn’t see him, so he must not be here yet. Lambert sighs as he searches the table lined with hot dogs for an empty seat, stopping when he sees—Aiden?

Lambert stares at Aiden with a slack jaw. “You’re—you—competing? What?”

“Lamb, what are you talking about? Are you okay? You don’t look so good.” Aiden pushes his chair back and hurries over to him, bringing a hand up to put on Lambert’s forehead, but Lambert swats him away.

“When did you sign up?” Lambert finally gets out.

Aiden squints. “Right after the last one? For real, are you alright?”

“The last one?” Lambert echoes.

“Yes. The last one. The one that I won?”

Lambert’s mouth flaps.

“That you won?” he practically screeches. He’s feeling a little dizzy.

“Did you get hit on the head?” Aiden asks, looking around nervously like he’s trying to find someone to ask for help. “Who do you think won that last contest, Lamb?”

Lambert sputters. “I don’t know; I was a little preoccupied!”

“Did you not look it up after? Oh my god, I thought you knew,” Aiden says in horror.

Lambert wants to cry, honestly. “It was you?”

“I felt bad when you were throwing up! You were puking and you didn’t even win! Sue me for being nice!”

Realization dawns on Lambert that this is why Geralt could barely contain his laughter after meeting Aiden. He did try to give him that newspaper clipping, after all. Surely it had a picture of the winner in it.

“Why did you think I was even there in the first place?” Aiden finally asks.

Lambert lets that settle over him for a moment. He still feels a little sick, but inexplicably he feels better, now that Aiden is in this with him. He pauses for a second of it. Now that he’s aware Aiden is in this with him. “Well, no one is allowed to beat me but you.”

“Deal. Hey, what did I tell you?”

Lambert groans. Aiden tells him lots of things, and his brain is not exactly cooperating with him at the moment. “I don’t know.”

Aiden nudges him with his elbow and gives him a meaningful raise of his eyebrow. “No, I think you do. Go on, don’t be afraid to admit it.”

What it must be pops into his head, and Lambert heaves a long suffering sigh, and he hopes it's one he’s going to be continuing to give for quite a while. “You’re the number one wiener eater.”

Aiden beams.

#the witcher #lambert #aiden #lambden #modern au #humor #contemplative writing

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five-rivers · 3 years

Note

I hope I haven't sent this yet: idea for a Fenton-family-roadtrip fic, maybe Doorways: The Fentons stop at an inn that is allegedly haunted. And indeed there is a ghost there that tells them to "GET OUT!" Either Danny or Jazz thinks there's something off and they investigate. Long story short, the owners are killing guests to enslave their ghosts. The one who told them to get out was WARNING them (the only one not enslaved) but was too fresh dead to do more than repeat one phrase.

This doesn't quite get to the payoff, but I think it's a good start.

(Also for Dannymay 2021 Day 5: Doorway)

Danny pulled himself out of an uneasy but necessary nap as the GAV came to a stop. Last night's encounter with Superbia had left him drained, and, unlike his battle with Gula, he didn't have the advantage of being at home, in his haunt, near his portal, the other expression of himself.

“Time to wake up, everyone!” said Dad. “We’re here.”

Danny wanted to just go back to sleep, but Dad opened the door, so he peeled himself off the car seat and stumbled out. He smacked his lips loudly, yawned, and looked up at the building they had parked in front of. It was a pretty house. Three stories, painted blue. White trim. A wraparound porch with a swing bench.

“Where’re we?” he asked, rubbing one eye. Fighting Superbia had taken a lot out of him, and he’d only been able to doze on the subsequent drive to… wherever this was.

“Borden Bed and Breakfast,” said Dad, with only a shadow of his usual enthusiasm. “You don’t, er, sense anything, do you, Danno?”

Danny blinked sleepily at the building. “No,” he said, finally. “Need to look around t’make sure, though.” He yawned again. “Sleepy.”

“Wait, wait,” said Jazz, “this’s another one of your friends? Already?”

“Well… Yes? Eliza and Bethany own the place.”

“They’re twins. They were interested in telepathy and other psychic abilities,” said Mom, pulling luggage out from the back of the GAV. “At least at first. Later, we were able to turn them on to ghosts, a little but they were… How would you describe it, Jack?”

“Wishy-washy,” said Dad. “Always had an excuse not to do work. Fun to be around, though.”

Mom leaned in conspiratorially. “They were the two laziest people I’ve ever met,” she said. “Wanted to use ghosts to, I don’t know, make bargains with to do chores. Like they were some kind of, I don’t know, demons that could be summoned to do things.” Mom snorted. “Completely wrong-headed. Even if they got their hands on something real, they wouldn’t put the effort in to use it.”

“Mhm,” said Danny, dubious, but too tired to argue. He really didn’t sense ghosts, or anything else for that matter, so it was probably fine.

“Come on, we’ll introduce you while we check in. Don’t be surprised if things are a little… dusty.”

Jazz muttered something about cleanliness and beds. Danny had stopped listening and was now just following along behind his parents, almost blindly. Everything just sort of buzzed in the background.

They went up the stairs on the porch and Mom rang the doorbell. Was it normal to ring a doorbell to get into a bed and breakfast? It wasn’t normal for hotels. Danny rubbed his eyes and endeavored to be a little more self-aware and less zombie-like. Even if he was a member of the living dead.

A rotund woman opened the door and greeted Mom with surprise and joy.

“Maddie!” she said. “We weren’t expecting you for another two days.”

“Sorry, Eliza. Our plans changed,” said Mom. “I hope it isn’t a problem…”

“Not at all! We’re having a bit of a slow stretch. You’re our only guests right now. We’re wide open.” A smile stretched across her face. “Come on in.” She stood to the side.

“These must be your children,” she continued, as Danny and Jazz passed her. The entryway had a set of stairs and a little balcony on the second floor. Danny watched idly as one of the doors clicked closed. Eliza’s sister, maybe?

But, then, another woman, identical to Eliza in all particulars walked in from what looked like a formal dining room. He frowned. The wind, maybe? A draft?

He still hadn’t felt anything from his ghost sense.

His parents and the Bordens negotiated something about dinner and eating together as Danny had a staring contest with the doors on the second floor. Dad had to prompt him to follow the rest of the family upstairs.

“We all have our own rooms,” said Mom. “Isn’t that nice?”

“Not really,” said Jazz, in a low tone.

“But you always want your own rooms,” said Dad.

“Yeah, and then I get attacked,” said Danny. “Jazz, can I share with you?”

“Okay,” said Jazz, who was also listing to the side. “Whatever.”

The room was clean, as far as Danny could tell. Not a spec of dust anywhere.

He dropped face-first on the bed, Jazz hitting it soon after. He didn’t stay awake long after that.

Jazz woke up groggy and disoriented, the dregs of her dream still lingering in the back of her brain.

Get out.

She sat up, blinking. That hadn’t been Danny’s voice. He was still out cold. She looked around the room, edging towards their bags. They had ectoguns, which weren’t effective on everything, but still packed a good knockback, if nothing else.

But nothing else jumped out at her, and she tentatively concluded that she must have still been dreaming. Anything dangerous would have woken Danny up.

She sighed. She wanted to go back to sleep, but… She was awful and grimy, and this was a prime opportunity to avoid getting edged out by one of Danny’s marathon showers later. Regretfully, she levered herself off the bed and dragged her feet as she walked into the bathroom.

Still feeling bleary, she groped for the light switch.

The words get out were drawn on the mirror in soap. Something moved. Jazz brought the ectogun she was still carrying up and fired. The blast bounced off the mirror (for reasons never clearly explained to Jazz, ectoplasm behaved strangely with regards to reflective surfaces and especially silver) and hit the lintel of the doorway.

There was a silent, tense moment where Jazz realized she had shot at her own reflection.

She was becoming her parents.

Danny groaned from the bed, breaking the silence. There were some thumps from the other side of the wall as Jack and Maddie burst through the door.

“Okay, spook!” shouted Jack, “you have five seconds to… There’s no ghost here.”

“Um,” said Jazz, weakly.

“What happened, sweetie?” asked Maddie, swiping hair out of her eyes.

“I just… Was a little tense, I guess, and—” She turned back to the mirror, expecting to see the writing.

There was nothing there.

“Huh,” she said. “I was going to take a shower and I… Thought I saw something,” she finished, lamely. She must have been more tired than she thought.

Danny made another muffled sound and rolled over, taking the blankets with him and turning himself into a human burrito.

“Okay,” said Jazz. “That’s… Usually he’d wake up.”

“He’s used to ectoblast sounds,” said Maddie. “I know I don’t wake up for every one. We’re always testing new weapons after all.”

“Yeah, exactly,” said Jazz. “Normally, he wakes up. It’s kind of a self-preservation thing.” She walked over to the bed and poked him. “Danny?”

He let out a small grunt but otherwise didn’t respond.

“This is weird,” said Jazz. “This is weird, right?”

“Do you think he’s being effected by something?” asked Maddie.

“Definitely,” said Jazz. “Is it something here? I don’t know. I mean, that was only the second time he’s fought one of those… things.”

“You think he’s just recovering from that?” asked Maddie.

“Maybe,” said Jazz.

“I don’t like this,” said Maddie. She stepped closer to the bed and shook Danny’s shoulder, obviously hoping to wake him. After a few seconds, Danny turned intangible, forcing Maddie to let go.

He did not show any signs of wakefulness.

“That really isn’t normal,” said Maddie, biting her lower lip. She looked to the door. “I don’t like that Eliza and Bethany haven’t said anything, either…”

Jazz winced. They had made a lot of noise.

“You don’t think something got them, do you?” asked Jack.

“I don’t know,” said Maddie. “But we should probably check.”

“We won’t be able to move Danny if he’s phasing through us,” said Jazz.

“Right,” said Maddie. “You and Jack stay here, and I’ll go downstairs.”

“No, you girls should stay here, and I’ll go downstairs,” said Jack.

“Really, Jack, that’s…”

Jazz tuned out her parents’ argument. As much as she hated to say it – because it wasn’t fair to put so much pressure on Danny – the real problem was that the only person who could reliably deal with… things was out of commission, and for who knew how long.

The three humans would have to solve this by themselves.

#danny phantom #dannymay 2021 #dannymay #ask #answer #prompt #prompt fill

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maybeimamuppet · 3 years

Text

you happened

hey darlings!! happy wednesday!!!

let’s get right into it shall we?

tw for

discussion of canon events in mg (outing, etc)

discussion of canon events in the prom (homophobia, etc.)

this was requested by @spidy-nugget like forever ago so thank you for your patience and i hope you enjoy!

—

“Oh!” Cady says, interrupting herself in the middle of a sentence. “I just remembered! My cousin is coming to visit next week, do you guys want to meet her?”

“Emma?” Damian asks excitedly. Cady nods. “Yes! Is she bringing the-her… Broadway friends?”

“I dunno, she didn’t tell me,” Cady giggles. “But probably, she said they usually visit her at some point every summer.”

“I should probably be there to stop him from combusting if they do come,” Janis huffs. “But also, yes, I want to meet her too.”

“She’s an absolute icon,” Damian says happily. “God, her song. Still makes me cry.”

“You cried watching Finding Dory yesterday,” Janis retaliates.

“It’s a sad movie! Sometimes!” Damian defends. “Anyway, tell me all about Emma.”

“Okay,” Cady giggles again. “She’s a year older than us, and she’s my cousin on my mom’s side. Um… you know her whole… prom fiasco. I’ve only met her in person once when I was ten, for Rhys’ funeral. But we were pen pals when we were really little. And now we just text and stuff.”

“Cute,” Damian says. “And is her girlfriend coming?”

“Oh! Yeah,” Cady says around a mouthful of Janis’ milkshake. “Her name is Alyssa, she’s, like, super smart. Did every possible activity in high school, that kind of thing. But she’s been with Emma when we’ve Facetimed and stuff before and she’s super sweet.”

“Aww,” Damian coos. “I can’t wait!”

————-

Luckily for him, Damian doesn’t have to wait too long. Emma and Alyssa arrive the following week in Emma’s pickup. Damian has been pressed against the window all day, like a small child watching for the ice cream truck. He gasps dramatically when four people in matching sequined tracksuits also hop out of the backseat, grumbling about being cramped together for such a long trip.

Cady opens the door to let everyone in, and is quickly swamped by a crowd of people much taller than her. Janis pops up on her tippy toes to try and find her girlfriend to save her, but doesn’t succeed.

Everyone heads into the living room, and Janis laughs when she finds Cady being carried in like a sack of potatoes by one of the men that came with Emma.

“Emma, why didn’t you tell me your cousin was so adorable?” He demands. “Look at this, she’s so small.”

“Please put me down,” Cady squeaks. Janis heads over and reaches for her.

“Can I have my girlfriend back, please?”

“And she’s gay!” The man says happily, passing Cady over like she’s a small dog. Janis holds her close and smoothes her hair back to where it was.

“Bi, actually,” Cady grumbles.

“Well, aren’t you something. Oh, my name is Barry, by the way. As if you haven’t heard of me.”

“Barry, we talked about this,” Emma chides. “They haven’t. Except Damian.”

“And where is this Damian? I want to meet him,” one of the ladies says. “Oh, and my name is Dee Dee.”

Damian enters shyly and gives a little wave. Janis cackles, “Dude, you’re totally starstruck, look at you!”

“Uh-hi,” he stutters. “I’m Damian.”

“Aww!” The other lady says. “Look at your little cheeks, what a sweetheart! I’m Angie.”

Damian blushes violently as he’s cooed over by Angie. Barry hauls her off to get a good look at him.

“I like this,” he says. “It’s like a mini me.”

“Just don’t break him,” Emma pleads. “Damian, can I trust you to babysit for a while?”

That prompts a, ‘Hey!’ from all four adults, and an eager nod from Damian. “I can show them around town.”

“This is not a town, darling,” Dee Dee says gently. “But what is there to see?”

“We have… uh-“

“There’s an IHOP!” Cady chirps. “And the mall. That’s kind of it until you get to Chicago. Or the lake.”

“This is the most precious soul,” Barry says happily.

“Dame, we did it. I never thought I’d see the day we found someone gayer than you,” Janis laughs.

“Oh, I like this one too,” Barry says. “Funky little lesbian. She dresses like Emma but goth.”

“I do love the hair,” Emma agrees. “I’m dressed more like Cady today though.”

They both look down at their almost-matching flannels and jean shorts, then back at each other with a nod.

“Same boots though,” Janis cheers, lifting a foot. Emma laughs and nudges it with one of her own doc martens. “Nice.”

“Precious,” Angie says. “Okay, we’ll leave you gals alone now. Damian, show us the sights.”

“It would be my pleasure,” Damian says, leading the adults to the door.

“Yes, show us to the… hopping eyes,” Dee Dee says, sounding both bored and intrigued at the same time. Damian waves goodbye to Janis excitedly and closes the door after him.

“Well,” Emma chuckles. “Oh, I hope he’ll be okay.”

“I think he’ll be fine,” Alyssa soothes. “He’s in good company, and he’s a theatre kid, he gets their… vibes.”

“Theatre kid is an understatement for that boy,” Janis tuts affectionately.

“True,” Cady giggles. “Anyway, we can hang out in my room, if you want?”

Emma and Alyssa nod, so Cady leads everyone up to her bedroom. Janis flops onto the bed and Cady crawls in behind her, lifting her head onto her lap. Alyssa and Emma look around curiously for a second before joining them.

“Who did these?” Alyssa asks, pointing to the paintings and collages adorning the walls. “They’re incredible, especially this one. It looks just like you guys!”

Janis flushes as she points to the one she won her art contest with, of she and Damian and Cady all together. “I did.”

“Dang,” Emma breathes. “You have some serious talent, Janis.”

“Thanks,” Janis squeaks.

“No, seriously! Do you have stuff here?” Emma insists.

“A few things, yeah,” Janis says confusedly, raising an eyebrow. “Why?”

Emma lifts her guitar case onto the bed and flicks the latches open, pulling out her famous instrument. It’s covered in stickers and little doodles, much like Janis’ jackets.

“Will you do something on this for me?”

Janis’ eyes go wide. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, of course!” Emma chuckles. “There’s room down here if you want it visible, or on the back.”

Janis carefully takes the instrument and assesses the material, trying to put an idea together in her mind. She runs to Cady’s desk when one comes to her, where she keeps a supply of basic colors and brushes in case of emergency. Cady doesn’t mind keeping them, they remind her of her girlfriend.

Cady grins affectionately as Emma and Alyssa cuddle in together. “How did you two meet?”

Her cousin turns to smile at her girlfriend. “I kind of always knew of her from school and stuff, but we didn’t really get close until sophomore year.”

Alyssa nods in agreement. “My mom wanted me to be more creative and have another skill or whatever, so she signed me up for guitar classes. Just so happens she was my teacher.”

“You really sucked,” Emma teases. Alyssa scoffs, aghast, and shoves her so hard she nearly falls off the bed. “Ack! Hey, I was kidding!”

“I know,” Alyssa giggles. “I did suck, I’ve never been much good at artsy stuff.”

“I was never good at art either,” Cady chuckles at their antics. “Jay’s tried to teach me to paint a couple times and it hasn’t gone too well.”

She peeks around the other couple to where her own girlfriend is sitting cross-legged on the ground, tongue poked out to the side as she carefully brushes a stroke of paint onto Emma’s guitar. Janis looks up when she feels her gaze, and grins happily when she sees Cady.

“You have the right instincts, I keep telling you,” she says. “You just get cranky too fast and then start attacking me with it.”

Everyone else bursts out laughing. Emma says, “I don’t blame her, I hated art class. What were we talking about?”

“How we met, dummy,” Alyssa huffs, kissing behind Emma’s ear.

“Oh yeah! So, we started off with actual lessons, but then we started getting to know each other more,” Emma explains. “And then I came out and got kicked out, which… a lot of people heard about, so Lyss figured I was a safe person to tell that she was questioning.”

Cady nods, listening intently to the story.

“I came out to her that summer,” Alyssa says. “And she said she’d had a crush on me all along, and asked me out. So we went on a walk and then got coffee and the rest is history.”

“We forgot to mention the serious gay panic I had during our first lesson,” Emma chuckles. “But that’s the gist of it.”

“How cute,” Cady coos.

“What about you two, how long have you been together?” Alyssa asks kindly, flicking Emma’s ear gently as she aggressively plops down onto her lap.

“Four months,” Janis pipes up immediately.

“Man, you crushed on her for that long without saying anything, Cades?” Emma says, impressed. Janis pops her head up and listens in.

“Oh?”

“She never shut up about you for, like, almost a year,” Emma laughs. Cady flushes scarlet and looks down at her lap with a flustered squeak. “I’m assuming it was you, she never gave a name. But it was always a tall, hot artist with cool hair and nice muscles. And I think she mentioned your butt a few times, she thinks that’s cute.”

Janis cackles as Cady flops facedown onto her bed and groans into a pillow. “How cute, I didn’t know that. But I shouldn’t laugh, I definitely wasn’t any better.”

“How did you get together?” Alyssa asks, patting Cady’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. Janis snorts from the ground and Cady gives another groan into her pillow. “What?”

“You tell them,” Cady grumbles, poking her face out just long enough that it’s not muffled.

“Baby, it’s cute,” Janis coos.

“No it’s not!”

“Okay, fine, I’ll tell it in a way that makes me look just as dorky,” Janis compromises. “Caddy came to my school in September from Kenya, and she had these adorable little cargo shorts and socks with sandals on, and-“

“Hold on, what?” Alyssa insists. “Kenya?”

“Cady grew up there, her parents are zoologists,” Emma explains.

“How many conversations have we had with her? And you never thought to tell me she’s from Africa?”

“It never came up! We both had a lot going on the first year and then we just didn’t bring it up,” Emma defends. “And now you know.”

“Sorry,” Alyssa says. “Keep going.”

“It’s all good,” Janis chuckles. “Anyway, I fell for her so bad the first day that I dragged Damian into the bathroom at lunch and made him let her join our group.”

Cady pops her head up and looks to her girlfriend. “You did?”

“Yeah, duh,” Janis says. “We’re not known for socializing with the new kids, I just thought you were cute.”

Cady blushes again, but doesn’t return to her pillow. “Keep going.”

Janis chuckles and continues telling the story as she finishes her small painting on Emma’s guitar. “So we became friends that day, and then had… an ordeal, through the rest of junior year and didn’t really reconnect until spring.”

Cady’s told Emma and Alyssa the whole story, so they both nod at Janis’ quick explanation.

“We got really close over the summer, and apparently we were both crushing on each other. But we didn’t notice, somehow. And then I sorta snapped on her birthday this year and decided to fess up, so I made that,” Janis points to the black and white collage hanging next to one of her paintings on the wall. “But before I could give it to her, this little firecracker got wasted and started crying in my lap about how much she loved me.”

“I wasn’t that drunk!” Cady huffs.

“I found you lying on the ground singing yourself to sleep,” Janis giggles. “And you didn’t recognize me, clearly. Just climbed into my lap and spilled your guts. I was lucky it wasn’t literal.”

“Janis Sarkisian,” Cady grumbles. “Behave.”

“Fine, fine,” Janis chuckles. “Anyway, once she sobered up a little bit we had a chat and realized we both had feelings for each other, so we started dating. And now we’re here.”

“That did not make you sound anywhere near as dorky as me,” Cady huffs. “But yeah, that’s… that’s it.”

Emma snorts once the story is done. “That does sound like Cady. But if that’s what it took, then I guess it was worth it.”

Cady turns to look at Janis again. “It was. But you guys went through a lot more than us, that must have been tough on both of you.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Emma chuckles, trying to sneak a peek at Janis’ work. The angle isn’t quite right, so she gives up before she falls off her girlfriend. “You guys went through a lot. But yeah, it was really tough. I’m so lucky.”

“I’m the lucky one,” Alyssa murmurs back. “You guys know the story?”

“I do,” Cady says. “I think Jay and Damian just know the bare bones. It’s your story to tell, I didn’t want to give too many details away.”

Alyssa gives her a grateful smile, and Cady grins back. “Do you want to hear it?”

“Of course,” Janis pipes up. “I finished, by the way. Um, here.”

“Hey, you stole my idea!” Cady jokingly whines when she sees what Janis has done.

“But it’s so perfect!” Janis defends. Emma takes her guitar to see, and smiles at the new lion with a rainbow mane in the spot they’d picked. “And it’s kind of for both of us.”

“This is awesome,” Emma says. “Oh! I get it, it’s a pride thing! Pride of lions, and then… oh. Clever!”

“It was actually Caddy’s idea, she made me a rock with it at pride last week,” Janis says. “I thought it fit.”

“It does, you’re really talented!” Alyssa says, leaning over her girlfriend’s shoulder to see it. Janis’ text tone goes off, so she pulls her phone out of the pocket of her shorts to check it. Cady peeks over to see what it is too as Janis bursts out laughing. It’s a picture of Damian surrounded by his new friends, now in a matching tracksuit all of his own.

jamian: Sent a picture: JAN LOOKIT

danis: nice outfit

jamian: Thank u it really suits me doesnt it

danis: honestly

danis: yeah kinda

jamian: Sent a picture: Thank u

jamian: Anyway we’re going to ihop next yall should meet us there

danis: kk love u

jamian: Love u too

“I think your little crew adopted Damian,” Janis chuckles at Emma and Alyssa, showing them the photo of a very excited Damian.

“Aww,” Emma chuckles. “I’m glad they didn’t kill him, they can be a lot to handle.”

“He seems fine,” Janis shrugs. “Whose truck are we taking?”

“Oh, is that one in the driveway yours?” Emma says excitedly. Janis nods. “It’s nice!”

“We’ve been in Em’s all day,” Alyssa chuckles. “Probably best to take yours.”

“I call shotgun!” Cady yells, already tugging on her shoes and running downstairs.

“As if I’d let anyone else,” Janis mumbles affectionately under her breath.

————-

The waitstaff at IHOP look more than a little frightened at the size of their group, and especially at the crew in tracksuits.

“Ey, yo!” One of them calls. “Guys, come here! It’s that guy from the thing! That show!”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Trent grumbles under his breath. “Why is it always that? I played Hamlet!”

They’re quickly escorted to a large table near the back, and Trent signs a few menus as a little gift to the now very excited waiters.

“Was Juilliard worth it?” He mutters to himself. Angie, who’s sat next to him, nudges him with an elbow to shut him up.

Janis and Emma both order for their girlfriends, and also order themselves the same meal of chicken and waffles. Dee Dee gets french toast, Angie gets an omelet, Trent gets some crepes, and Barry gets the most horrifically sweet looking pancakes anyone’s ever seen. Apparently they’re cupcake flavored.

Alyssa looks very content with her large Belgian waffle, and Cady seems delighted with her chocolate chip pancakes decorated with whipped cream to look like a face. It’s definitely from the children’s menu, but nobody says anything.

“So tell us about you guys,” Dee Dee says once their food gets delivered. She looks eagerly to her friends, as if to say, ‘Look how nice I can be when I want to.’ Barry claps quietly for her.

“What do you want to know?” Damian asks. Dee Dee puts her head in her hands, clearly not knowing how to continue. Trent takes over for her.

“How do you guys know each other?”

“Oh!” Damian says excitedly. “Janis and I have been friends, like, forever. We met in tap dance class when we were three.”

“And you knocked my fucking teeth out in that class when we were five,” Janis grumbles.

“By accident!” Damian defends amidst the giggles of their whole group. “I got really into it. Anyway, so we’ve been friends forever. And then little Caddy happened along in junior year, and we kind of kidnapped her for a while.”

“No, I needed to be kidnapped,” Cady laughs. “I was a total wreck. They actually sort of rescued me from the school bathroom at lunch.”

“You were eating in the bathroom?” Barry asks, sounding both empathetic and disgusted. “Oh, you poor sweet thing.”

“I was the new kid, y’know?” Cady shrugs. “Nobody wanted to eat with the dork from Africa.”

Angie chokes on a bite of her food, and Trent thumps her on the back. “From what now?”

“I’m from Kenya,” Cady giggles. “Well, technically I was born in Oregon. But I lived in Kenya for thirteen years.”

“Just, like, in the wilderness?” Barry asks in shock. “With the lions and tigers and… bears and stuff?”

Cady laughs out loud. “Pretty much. But there’s no tigers or bears.”

“But there were lions?” Trent insists.

“Oh, yeah,” Cady says like it’s entirely normal. “That’s mostly what we were studying. They were kind of my only friends.”

“And they never showed any interest in… consuming you?” Dee Dee asks worriedly. Cady laughs again.

“Lions are just big cats, you know, guys? As long as you’re careful and respect their boundaries they won’t hurt you,” she chuckles. “I got swiped at a few times when I was little, but I never needed more than fifteen stitches.”

“Fifteen?” Angie yelps.

“That is kind of a lot, Cades,” Emma chuckles. “I never had to get more than three as a kid.”

“Oh. Well, I was kind of asking for it, I was playing too rough,” Cady hums.

“With a lion,” Alyssa insists. “Do you have pictures?” Cady nods and passes over her phone for them to scroll through her camera roll.

“Anyway, please keep going,” Angie says, leaning across the table to try to see.

“That’s basically it,” Janis shrugs. “Until you get into the whole mess that happened junior year.”

Cady and Damian nod in agreement. The adults all look very excited at the prospect of some new drama. “Do tell.”

The art freaks all look to one another warily, wondering who should begin. Cady decides to after a second of back and forth.

“Well, um… I sat with these two on my first day,” she begins. “But then just before lunch ended I met these three girls. We called them the Plastics.”

“Why?” Angie asks curiously. Damian shows them all a photo. “Oh. I already don’t like this one.” Janis snorts quietly as she points to Regina.

“Anyway, they said I should sit with them, and Janis and Damian wanted me to so I could spy on them,” Cady says sheepishly. “They have some… personal history.”

“Oh?” Trent asks. Cady looks to Janis, this bit is her story to tell.

“Regina, the one in the middle, outed me in eighth grade,” Janis says. “Carved slurs into my locker, that kinda thing.”

“Oh, honey,” Barry says sadly. “That bitch.”

Janis chuckles weakly. “Yeah. The other two just kind of went along with it. They were just generally bitchy to everyone. But I didn’t have many friends because of her, and I went through a lot of counseling and stuff because of it. Spent some time in the hospital for… reasons, but that’s not… something we need to discuss right now.”

Everyone nods, respecting her privacy. Cady continues telling the story. “So, I pretended to join them and would kind of report back to Janis and Damian. I learned that they had this book, called the Burn Book, where they would write mean things about people from the yearbook and stuff. And at the same time I was crushing for a long time on this boy named Aaron, but he was Regina’s ex. She had dumped him earlier for another guy. And she was actually cheating on him with the other one.”

“Oh, can I tell this bit?” Janis asks. Cady nods and gestures for her to keep going. “So, around Halloween, Cady went to Aaron’s party, and I don’t know exactly what happened, but he basically got back together with Regina.”

“What kind of idiot-“ Trent begins, getting cut off by a stomp on the foot from Dee Dee.

“So poor Caddy came to my house,” Janis says, trying to keep down giggles at the memory. “Fucking slams my basement door open, but Dame and I were watching horror movies. Caddy was dressed as some corpse bride with a knife in her back and everything, and Damian screamed so loud, like, higher than I’ve ever heard. But she was crying, so we helped her and then came up with a revenge plot.”

Dee Dee suddenly looks very interested, leaning forwards slightly and resting her head on her folded hands.

“Caddy had these snack bars from Kenya, they’re… Swedish, I think?” Damian says. Cady nods. “They make you gain weight, like, really quickly. Regina was kind of obsessed with her weight and image and stuff, so we got Caddy to tell her they were actually a diet bar to help lose weight.”

“No,” Angie gasps. Everyone laughs at her reaction.

“Yeah,” Cady laughs. “I don’t think anything major happened until around Christmas. The Plastics did this dance every year at the winter talent show, and we had to wear these skimpy little Santa outfits. But Regina had already gained a fair bit of weight, so her skirt didn’t fit…”

“It fell off in the middle of the routine in front of everyone,” Janis cackles. Emma and Alyssa both look slightly scared of her. “Sorry. Personal vindication. But yeah, that was kind of the beginning of the end for her. Cady kind of… got lost in it, by that point. It was hard to tell if she was pretending or not.”

Cady looks down at her lap in shame, so Janis takes her hand under the table and kisses the side of her head a few times to comfort her. Damian keeps going with the story.

“So, Caddy basically overthrew Regina as Queen Bee of the school. She threw a little party and didn’t invite us or Regina, so she kind of was attacking both fronts. We got pretty mad and stopped associating with her, and Regina was obviously furious,” he says. “And so as revenge for that, Regina photocopied the Burn Book and spread all the pages around the school. I saw, like, seven fights before first period even started that day.”

“But didn’t they know that she had written it?” Trent asks.

“That’s the thing, she put herself in it,” Janis adds, now holding Cady on her lap. “So nobody suspected her. She went to the principal and blamed Gretchen and Karen, they’re the other two, and Cady.”

“I don’t like this story,” Barry whines. “Tell me something good happens.”

“Oh, just wait,” Janis chuckles darkly. “There was an assembly called that day, and they tried to make us apologize to each other and do trust exercises or something like that. I kind of went rogue and only apologized to myself and rallied the rest of the girls in our grade.”

“Go Janis,” Angie says, sounding impressed. “Stick it to the man.”

“Thanks,” Janis laughs. “But it only lasted a few minutes.”

“Damn it,” Barry groans. “What happened?”

“Regina got hit by a bus,” Cady says. Angie spits her mouthful of lemonade over Trent.

“She what?”

“Yeah,” Cady laughs. “So, that time kind of sucked for both of us. She was in the hospital recovering, and everyone was saying that I pushed her in front of it or that she jumped in front of it on purpose because of me.”

“She didn’t die?” Dee Dee clarifies. Everyone is more than a little concerned at the disappointment in her voice.

“No,” Cady chuckles. “Well, she died for, like, fifteen seconds, but she was resuscitated and she’s fine now.”

“And did you push her?” Barry asks. “We’re all friends here, you can tell us.”

“No!” Cady huffs. “I may have been a raging bitch, but I’m not an attempted murderer.”

“You didn’t feed anyone to a lion back in Kenya?” Janis teases gently.

“I’ll do it to you if you’re not careful,” Cady retaliates with a laugh. “Where did we leave off?”

“Regina got hit by a bus and you didn’t push her,” Trent says helpfully, still dabbing some lemonade out of his sweater with a wad of napkins.

“Oh,” Damian says. “Okay, so, I don’t… totally remember what happened in between that and Spring Fling, but it’s really not important.”

“I was suspended for the Book, that’s kind of it,” Cady says, gesturing for him to continue.

“Oh, yeah! Anyway, Spring Fling at our school is basically prom but for underclassmen, prom is just for the seniors. Jan and I were each other’s dates, she decorated our outfits and stuff, we looked killer if I do say so myself.”

Janis rolls her eyes lovingly and whacks him with an elbow.

“And Caddy was banned, so she wasn’t supposed to be there, but she showed up towards the end with the Mathletes,” Damian continues. “And she had been nominated for queen, and she won. So she went up on stage and gave the most beautiful speech I’ve ever heard and broke her crown, and we all got a piece. So now we’re all friends and life is good.”

“Nice ending, Dame,” Janis laughs. “Hasty conclusions. But that it is basically how it happened.”

Everyone blinks at them. Trent says, “That was like being in a war zone. Just one bombshell after another.”

“It kinda was, our math teacher got stabbed in the leg at one point,” Cady hums. “Anyway, what’s your guys’ story? If you want to share.”

“Oh, yeah, I’d like to know more,” Damian says. “Jan and I really only know the bare bones. What was in the news, and stuff.”

“You guys can start,” Emma says, pulling a face as Alyssa gently dabs some syrup off her lip. Alyssa giggles when Emma tries to bite her hand and kisses Emma’s cheek.

“Ooh, okay!” Barry says eagerly. “We were in a show. Well, Dee Dee and I. We were in a delightful little show called Eleanor.”

“As in…” Janis says confusedly.

“Eleanor Roosevelt,” Dee Dee explains. She seems surprised when the kids all nod in understanding. “You’ve heard of her?”

“Yeah?” Cady says, tilting her head. “She’s one of the most famous first ladies of all time, we learned about her in our history class.”

“Not nearly enough,” Janis grumbles. “Gotta make time for the men.”

“Amen sister,” Angie huffs.

“Really…” Dee Dee hums interestedly. “Anyway, it was… not a success. Poor advance sales, and then…”

“We bombed opening night,” Barry grumbles. “Apparently. But it wasn’t the show, it was… it was us. The media panned us as aging narcissists and we had to close.”

“On opening night?” Damian gasps in horror. Dee Dee and Barry both nod sadly.

“Regretfully, yes. So, we had to try to change the narrative,” Dee Dee says. “We decided to find a good cause and do something. So we were going to build houses for Habitat for Humanity.”

“But Barry has a bad back,” Trent pipes up. “So then we thought about, like, recycling or fixing poverty or world hunger.”

“But that was all too much for us to handle,” Angie says. “So I went on Twitter and found-”

“Me!” Emma says. “Apparently that all happened on the same night as the first assembly where the PTA cancelled prom in the first place. I guess we were trending.”

“And they only cancelled it because you two wanted to go together?” Janis asks sadly.

“Yep. Well, nobody knew about Alyssa, but they cancelled it because they knew I wanted to bring my girlfriend,” Emma explains.

“Those bitches,” Janis grumbles. “Sorry.”

“Believe me, we get it,” Emma laughs. “But my bit of the story isn’t quite here yet.”

“Oh, yes!” Dee Dee realizes. “So, we decided to help Emma, but we were completely out of funds and had no way to get all the way to Indiana from New York.”

“But I had just booked a non-equity tour of Godspell,” Trent half-brags. The other half seems rather depressed at that statement. “So we came on the tour bus.”

“Can I start our part?” Alyssa asks. Emma nods and squeezes her hand under the table. “So, they obviously gave no indication that they were coming. Emma and Principal Hawkins had gone to the State’s Attorney by that point and put some legal pressure on the PTA, so we had another assembly to discuss options.”

“We?” Damian asks.

“Oh, my mom was the head of the PTA,” Alyssa says casually. Damian chokes on his drink and Janis nearly drops Cady on the ground.

“Your mom cancelled your prom?” Janis asks in shock. Alyssa nods sadly. “Oh, because you… she didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

“It was what it was. She knows now,” Alyssa hums. “Anyway, I was there to speak for student council. I was mid-sentence, and then they come barreling into the gym with signs and yelling at everyone.”

“Educating everyone,” Barry corrects. “Loudly and with signs.”

“Right, educating. Sorry,” Alyssa laughs. “So my mom totally loses her shit. It’s chaos. I think Trent had a cowbell at some point?”

Trent reaches into a messenger bag next to him and pulls out a cowbell, resting it on the table with a quiet thunk.

“You just keep that with you?” Janis chuckles.

“For emergencies,” Trent explains. “You’d be surprised.”

Janis tries to think of what emergencies she’s faced that would either be helped or solved with the addition of a cowbell, and surprisingly, she can think of a few.

“Of course he keeps it all the time,” Emma chuckles. “I don’t remember… most of what happened that time. But after a few days they announced that the prom was back on.”

“Because of you?” Damian asks, looking to the stars.

“No,” they all say at the same time Emma says, “I think so.”

Everyone looks her way. “I told you this at the time, but you guys really scared people! I think you at least had a part.”

“How sweet,” Dee Dee says. “Let’s say we had an ensemble part in getting it back on.”

That gets a chuckle from everyone at the table, before Barry continues with the story.

“I, obviously, had to take Emma shopping,” he says. “She only had one dress and it was… a travesty would be an understatement.”

“I’m honestly not sure where it came from,” Emma chuckles. “Just think Little House on the Prarie but somehow so much worse.”

“So we went to the mall, and found this lovely blue dress and some good shoes,” Barry says. Emma looks like she would disagree with his choice of adjectives, but nods. “Did her hair and makeup all fancy, and bought her a corsage.”

“Aww,” Cady coos. “How sweet.”

“That part was fun,” Emma agrees fondly. “But…”

“When we got there,” Barry says. “Poor thing was so excited, but it was-it was just-“

Dee Dee continues for him, as Barry gets too emotional to keep going. “It was totally empty. Barry took Emma into the gym, and it was just horrific. There were barely any decorations, and they were just thrown up. I would be stunned if they spent more than ten dollars on the whole thing.”

“Oh god,” Damian says sadly. “I heard it was a fake, but I didn’t know it was that bad.”

“It sucked,” Emma chuckles sardonically, trying not to get too heavy in the middle of an IHOP. “More than anything. I didn’t care about the decorations, I just… it was so lonely, you know? I realized then that so many people I thought cared about me just didn’t. So many people I thought were my friends, weren’t. I had never felt more alone.”

“It sounds awful,” Janis says.

“It was,” Emma mumbles. Alyssa takes her hand under the table and gives it a gentle squeeze. Emma looks up and gives her a sad but grateful grin.

“I was at the… other prom. The real one,” Alyssa continues, seeming ashamed. “I had no idea what they had done, everyone on student council and the PTA hid it from me too. Some of my friends had seen us together and realized I was the ‘secret girlfriend’ and were trying to break us up.”

“Which worked,” Emma admits sadly. “I called her to try to get her to come to my own personal prom so I could at least have her there, but her mom was at the real one with her and she couldn’t leave. And I just sort of… lost it. I hung up and we didn’t talk again for a week.”

“I never blamed you for that,” Alyssa murmurs gently. “You were still trying to process everything and I just added to it.”

“No, you didn’t,” Emma insists. “We can talk more later. Anyway. I ran out, obviously. And Angie actually came after me, which was nice. She just let me cry and didn’t make me do anything. Helped me get my makeup off and stuff. She even slept on my bedroom floor in case I needed something. It was kind of like having a mom there, which I really needed.”

“How fucking old-“ Angie begins, but Trent claps a hand over her mouth. Emma laughs and continues.

“And then the rest of them came by the next day even though I yelled at them,” she says.

“With ice cream!” Barry butts in. “That’s an important detail.”

“Oh yeah, they brought me Häagen Dazs,” Emma laughs. “It was cute. Especially because they thought I wouldn’t know what it was.”

“Can you blame us? You live in the most yeehaw hick town in Indiana,” Trent says. “And that’s saying something.”

“It’s not that bad,” Emma tuts. “Anyway, they brought ice cream and were trying to convince me to do something to bring more attention to what was happening. Dee Dee actually got me on a talk show at one point, but I knew I would never be able to do something like that.”

“You still owe me a house,” Dee Dee grumbles under her breath. “But what she wound up doing was much better anyway.”

“The song?” Damian asks. Emma nods.

“I had it sort of in my head for a while, and I managed to piece it together in about a week,” she replies. “I was terrified, but it was just an overnight thing. I woke up the next day and it already had two million views.”

Alyssa squeezes her hand with a proud smile. “Half of them were me.”

“The other half were Damian,” Janis chuckles. “He made me watch it at lunch one day and we both watched it so many times we knew all the words by the next day.”

“Aww,” Emma says. “You guys are so sweet.”

“We try,” Janis and Damian say at the same time, locking eyes and glaring at each other once they notice. Cady giggles at their antics.

“Anyway,” Emma laughs. “I wasn’t expecting even that many, but people just kept watching, and then I started getting all these comments on it that were so precious. All these other queer kids all over the world sharing their stories too. Eventually it got back to Principal Hawkins and all of them, and they helped figure out how to set up an inclusive prom. And funded it, which was very helpful.”

“Yeah, helpful,” Dee Dee grumbles under her breath.

“Once we saw where the money was going it was so worth it,” Barry says, gently kicking Dee Dee under the table. “It was beautiful.”

“It really was,” Emma agrees. “But god, it took forever to set up.”

“God, yeah,” Alyssa says. “Oh, and we got back together, like, as we were setting everything up, we forgot to mention that.”

“Oh yeah,” Emma says. “Her mom came when she heard what we were doing in the gym because we never got PTA approval-“

“So she was mad,” Alyssa butts in.

“Very mad,” Emma chuckles. “But you came with her and told her to stop talking, which was both hilarious and terrifying. And then you told me you loved me in front of everyone. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.”

“Me either,” Alyssa says quietly.

“Aww,” Cady says, even though she’s heard the whole story before. It’s always a good one to repeat. “How sweet.”

“So after that whole thing we finished setting everything up,” Emma continues, smiling at her girlfriend. “And it was beautiful, even I was impressed.”

“You looked so happy when everyone started showing up,” Alyssa says fondly. “I was so proud of you. I still am. You gave so many people an incredible night they wouldn’t have had without you.”

Emma flushes slightly and looks down at her lap. Alyssa squishes her cheeks in her hand to get her to look back up.

“It really was an incredible night,” she says. “And we finally got to dance together, I think that was my favorite part.”

“That was good,” Alyssa nods. “But you’re a terrible dancer.”

“Hey! Just because I didn’t take dance classes for years,” Emma pouts.

“Oh, hush, I’m joking,” Alyssa says, kissing Emma’s cheek.

“You missed,” Emma continues pouting. Alyssa frowns in confusion and kisses her cheek again, but in a different spot. “You missed.”

Alyssa gives her a chaste kiss on the lips this time, and Emma finally smiles. Alyssa rolls her eyes lovingly. “You’re such a dork, goodness gracious.”

“You guys are almost as cute as Caddy and Janis,” Damian says, trying to snap them out of it and get them to remember the presence of the group.

“Almost?” Alyssa says, her competitive side making a slight appearance. “I think you’re biased.”

“Oh, definitely,” Damian agrees. “We don’t really have any unbiased judges though.”

“True. We’ll say it’s a truce for now,” Alyssa says. “Are we all done? I need to get up for a bit. I’m stuffed.”

“I think so,” Cady says, looking around at all the empty plates around. “We could go to the beach for the sunset, if you guys want. It’s not too far a drive.”

“Ooh, yes please,” Emma says excitedly. The adults play rock paper scissors to work out payment, and Dee Dee grumbles under her breath when she loses.

“Hungry kids. Why are pancakes so expensive?”

————-

“Oh, guys, look!” Damian says, pointing to a window of a thrift shop nearby. “We could go try on dresses!”

“We?” Janis chuckles, carrying Cady on her back. “You gonna get into a ballgown, D?”

“Why not?” Damian asks. “I have the figure for it, shut up.”

“I thought we were going to the beach,” Angie says.

“We can do both,” Barry says, seeming strangely excited. “Wear dresses to the beach.”

“Yeah, yeah!” Cady says eagerly, squeezing her legs together a bit to get Janis to go in, as if she’s riding a pony. “Please?”

“I am not paying,” Dee Dee says immediately. Everyone else nods, that’s only fair.

“Fine, fine. Come along,” Trent says, leading them into the shop as their gaggle of children follow like ducklings.

—-

The employees look a bit concerned as all nine of them parade to the discounted gown section and start looking for ones in their sizes. Damian finds his first, a royal purple gown with a high neck and a slit that would reach about to his knee. He takes it off the rack and heads over to the changing room, rapidly followed by Barry with his silver gown.

“How did-“ Emma stutters. “I guess they knew what they were looking for.”

Angie helps Trent find one that would fit him, an emerald green dress with long sleeves and a nice v-neck collar. He shrugs and follows Barry and Damian. Angie then moves on to find one of her own, and picks out a sleek black dress made of lace and with a shorter skirt, about to the knee. Dee Dee follows with one she seems to have grabbed at random, a nice yellow gown complete with a cape.

Alyssa picks a pink dress with a longer train, since she wore a short dress to both of her real proms and wants to experiment a little. Cady picks a yellow one, with longer sleeves and a bow in the back. The skirt is short, which makes her a little nervous, but she decides to give it a go.

Janis and Emma both look a bit lost, staring aimlessly at the racks and flicking through them weakly.

“Jayjay, try this one,” Cady says, offering a long, red, short-sleeved gown that looks like it would have a rather tight fit. Maybe Cady has some selfish motivations here, but she’ll never admit it. Janis raises a slightly suspicious eyebrow, but takes the dress and hauls her girlfriend off to the changing rooms.

“They all look so itchy,” Emma shudders slightly. Alyssa laughs and takes one of her hands.

“If you got one made of something like this it wouldn’t be too bad,” she says, showing Emma one made of an almost satin-like material. “And it’ll only be a couple hours at most. We’re going to the beach, sand is itchy anyway.”

“True,” Emma agrees with a little nod. “I like this one.”

“So try it,” Alyssa chuckles as Emma grabs an amethyst colored ballgown with a big poofy skirt. “Come on.”

Most of their group is waiting outside the rooms, clad in their ill fitting gowns. Trent’s is a bit too big, Barry’s is missing some sequins, and Angie’s has a small hole in the sleeve, but none of them complain.

Cady and Janis open the curtains to their respective rooms, revealing their dresses to one another. Janis is somehow not tall enough to fill her dress out, which makes her look a bit like Morticia Addams, but she doesn’t mind. Cady’s is almost perfect, but the skirt clings to her legs in an odd way.

“You look nice!” Cady says, gently adjusting Janis’ sleeve as Janis tugs at her collar.

“It’s a bit tight,” Janis says, sounding rather choked.

“I can fix that once we buy it,” Barry says, looking at himself in the mirror. Everyone looks at him in concern. “What? I have a stitch kit, I’ll just cut the collar off it.”

“Oh,” everyone says. Alyssa and Emma exit the changing rooms then, prompting coos from everyone.

“Emmy, you look beautiful!” Alyssa says, pulling her girlfriend into a hug. “The color really suits you.”

“Does it?” Emma says, sarcastically striking a pose. “It feels very… purple.”

“I like purple,” Alyssa hums, adjusting Emma’s skirt.

“You look really nice,” Emma replies, looking at Alyssa’s long dress. Hers is the closest to fitting correctly out of everyone’s.

“Thanks!” Alyssa says, putting her hands on her hips and popping out a knee. Emma laughs and kisses her gently.

“Okay, let’s go!” Angie says happily, having been taking pictures of everyone like a proud mom taking photos for her Facebook. Angie, Trent, and Barry split the cost among them, and they unleash their prom-ready selves onto the public.

—————-

“So you guys just graduated, right?” Alyssa asks, strolling down the shore holding hands with Emma. Cady and Janis are also hand in hand walking next to them.

“Yep!” Cady chirps.

“So you must’ve just had your senior prom too, what was yours like?”

“It was so fun! Damian took me shopping and I had the most beautiful dress,” Cady replies eagerly. “And Janis had a suit to match and it was… she looked… so hot.”

“Ooh,” Emma teases. “Scandalous.”

“Hey,” Cady says. “I’m allowed to think she’s hot.”

“Fair enough,” Emma shrugs.

“What about you guys, how are you handling your post-prom fame?” Janis jokes.

“Pretty well,” Emma chuckles. “Or at least I think we are.”

“You certainly are,” Alyssa murmurs.

“Oh yeah, aren’t you starting a nonprofit or something?” Cady asks.

“Wait, what?” Janis asks.

“I’m trying,” Emma laughs again. “Lyss’ mom is actually helping me. And trying to start a charity looks, like, super good on college applications, so that’s nice.”

“I thought your mom started this whole fiasco,” Janis says confusedly.

“Oh, she did,” Alyssa confirms. “But she’s cool with the gays now. She had a lot of questions and stuff, and she’s still having to work pretty hard at it. Changing opinions and thought patterns that were instilled in you from

childhood is tough. But she’s trying.”

“Yeah, she came to pride with us this year,” Emma says. “It was cute, she had a rainbow pantsuit and everything.”

“Go mom,” Janis chuckles. “I’m glad she turned things around.”

“Me too,” Alyssa murmurs quietly.

“Me three,” Emma says, squeezing her hand.

“So what’s this charity you’re getting going?” Cady asks.

“It’s called the Unruly Hearts Foundation,” Emma explains. “It’s a nonprofit that takes donations and stuff to throw other inclusive events around the country. Create safe spaces. And we also donate a fair bit to LGBTQ+ shelters and stuff, too.”

“That’s awesome,” Janis says. “I’m broke but I’ll donate a bit once I get my commissions business going.”

“Thanks, Janis,” Emma chuckles. “You know, we could use some branding. A logo, stuff for our website. If you’re interest-“

“Yes,” Janis interrupts. “I’m interested. Please.”

“Groovy,” Emma laughs. “I’ll be in touch, get Cady to give you my number.”

“You say groovy too?!” Damian asks eagerly as he makes an appearance. “These two always make fun of me for it.”

“Hell yeah I say groovy,” Emma says, giving Damian a fist bump. “Sometimes it’s the only word that fits the vibes, you know?”

“Yes!” Damian says. “See? Emma gets it.”

“I think ‘tits’ is pretty versatile,” Janis says. “You kind of look like Ursula, by the way, Dame.”

“Thanks,” Damian says, swishing his purple skirt around. “I’m gonna take that as a compliment.”

“It was,” Janis huffs. “As if I’d ever insult you.”

“You called me a ‘fucking deplorable kneecap’ on the way here,” Damian retaliates. Emma and Alyssa rode separately and burst out laughing.

“And now I have grown as a person. Developed myself.”

“It was ten minutes ago!”

“And? I’m not the same me I was two minutes ago, let alone ten,” Janis defends.

“Thank god,” Damian grumbles jokingly.

“Hey!” Janis says, breaking away from Cady and running after him. Damian shrieks and holds up his skirts to run away.

“Do we need to intervene here, Cades?” Emma asks with a slight chuckle as Damian and Janis sprint up and down the shoreline in a sort of oval.

“Nah,” Cady shrugs. “They do stuff like this about once a week. Janis knows she needs him, she won’t actually do anything.”

Just as she says that, Damian takes a hard left and runs full tilt into the lake. Janis pauses for a second before shrugging and running after him.

“Or maybe she will.”

“That water must be cold,” Alyssa chuckles in concern.

“Let’s find out!” Emma says boldly, tightening her grip on Alyssa’s hand and running them towards the water as well. Alyssa shrieks as they leap into the lake with a splash. Cady realizes she’s alone and also runs in, managing a cannonball into the water.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Barry yells, walking up on a sort of puddle of teenagers in soaking wet dresses.

“They’re being kids, let them live,” Dee Dee says. “Unrelated, can you swim?”

“Yeah, wh- don’t you dare,” Barry says, turning to face her.

“Oh, I would never,” Dee Dee says, aghast at the mere suggestion. Trent then comes sprinting up and tackles Barry into the lake. “But he would.”

Angie cackles and high fives her. Dee Dee crosses her arms over her chest and smiles down as Barry pops back up with a splutter.

“Dee Dee Allen!” Barry demands. “Get your ass in here.”

“No, I don’t think I will, thank you,” Dee Dee says casually, rocking slightly on the balls of her feet.

“Oh come on,” Angie coaxes. “It’s only fair.”

“I didn’t push him!”

“You had a role.”

Dee Dee ponders this for a moment before she begrudgingly reaches to take Angie’s hand, and they leap in together.

“Yay!” Emma cheers, delighted that all her friends made it into the lake one way or another. Some of them are significantly less happy about this, but everyone is laughing eventually.

“Hey, Caddy,” Janis says. She swims over to her girlfriend and kisses her gently, before booping her nose. “Tag. You’re it.”

Cady laughs as Janis swims away as fast as she can, rapidly followed by the rest of the group. Cady swims around for a second while she ponders her options to decide who to go after. Emma is a strong swimmer, being on her high school swim team and all. Alyssa is okay, but a bit weaker.

Barry seems to be the slowest, and gives her the best chance of success. He looks very anxious as Cady stares him down before lunging for him. He shrieks as Cady manages to snag his skirt and tap his arm under the water before she backstrokes away.

“Damn it,” he puffs. “I’m having elementary school flashbacks.”

“Better than middle school flashbacks,” Angie calls.

“Amen,” Janis says. She screams as Barry goes for her and swims away, huddling behind Damian for protection.

“Hey!” Damian whines, swimming away from her and creating a sort of three-way chase. Janis quickly gives up on Damian’s protection and swims to Cady instead.

“Protect me,” she pleads. Cady smiles as Janis hides behind her, peeking over her shoulder to check where the threat is.

“You’re so cute.”

“No I’m not,” Janis pouts. “I’m being stealthy.”

“Uhhuh,” Cady says as Janis clings to her like a precious little octopus. “If you get me tagged again I’m breaking up with you.”

“That’s fair,” Janis agrees with a shrug. Alyssa suddenly gives a shriek as Barry taps her leg under the water. “Uh oh.”

————-

After an hour or so of tag, the sun begins to set for the day. The water temperature plummets and everyone swims to shore to watch the sky be painted beautiful shades of pink and orange and purple. The adults and Damian head back to the car to go hunt for towels and dry clothes somewhere.

But Cady, Janis, Emma and Alyssa stay behind, deciding they don’t mind so much if they’re in heavy, cold dresses and getting covered in itchy sand. Cady holds Janis on her lap and Alyssa has Emma in hers, all of them staring out over the expanse of the water before them together.

“You guys should visit more often,” Cady says quietly as the first stars begin to make an appearance.

“Absolutely,” Alyssa says, looking down at her girlfriend. “This was an awesome day.”

“And we’ll have more,” Emma says.

Together.

—-

thank you so much for reading! hope you enjoyed!

lots of love,

ezzy

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son-fuori-di-me · 3 years

Text

"I had no idea I could change someone's life."

One Shot. Word Count | Around 3300. Description | <French female pov> you're visiting Rome for the first time, and you casually meet Damiano David the day before the Circo Massimo concert. The conversation takes a unexpected path.

Content | Real talk. No romantic development. * Expect French idioms and italian approximations from automatic translators

---

"Bordel, c'est immense !" ("Holy cow, that's big !") I said, looking at the Circo Massimo.

It was my first time in Rome. Knowing Italy a bit, I expected a hell lot of sun, a delicious bunch of ice cream for each meal, and tons of pretty things to snap with my phone. Well, that was the plan for my first two days there. Cause Saturday would be a very different day. Saturday would be Måneskin day.

I've been waiting for so long to do this trip. And what a blast it has been for now. Took only a bag, my external battery, some makeup and my favourite clothes to finally discover this astonishing city. This was my first solo trip. I've always travelled with my family or my ex, but never on my own. For once, I could decide what I wanted to see, what I wanted to eat, when to take a break. And as there are plenty of things to see in Rome, i wanted to enjoy every second of my trip. I could focus my last day there solely to the Måneskin concert happening that Saturday night. But as I didn't want to leave anything to chance, I decided to precisely organize my last day, so I could visit a bit more - a get a last fantastic meal before the concert.

I got myself a gold pit ticket. I guessed that would mean I had a special queue. So on Friday night, as I was back from a late tour in town, I decided to watch more closely the Circo, to check for the entrances, and see how I could sharpen my organization and schedule for the next day.

"J'espère que je vais pas avoir à poireauter toute la journée, avec la chaleur qu'il va faire." ("I hope won't have to hang around here all day tomorrow, the weather's gonna be hot as hell")

It was almost 10 pm. I was getting closer to the Circo, trying to read the boards, but all was written in italian and didn't seem to concern the concert. And a year fangirling over Måneskin clearly wasn't enough to become fluent. I saw no sign mentioning "gold pit". So I decided I would ask around, with Google translate ready in my phone in case I couldn't find anyone speaking English.

I saw a guy sit on a bench, smoking. He was dressed in an ugly dark sweater, with the hood over a cap. He was either a drug dealer or a hobbo. My instinct as a girl living in Paris got the uphand and I decided to ignore the guy and try to find a woman instead, or maybe a group of locals, to get me the information I wanted. Unfortunately, after a good 20 minutes walking around and asking people, no one could tell me how to make sure I find the right queue for the concert. I was about to give up and head back to my airbnb and I saw a silhouette still sitting on a bench, near the Circo. It was the same guy from earlier. "Bon, je tente, s'il est trop chelou, je me barre." ("Well, might as well take the risk, if he's too much a weirdo, I clear off quickly.")

"Scusi, do you speak English ?" i said, getting closer to the guy, but still from a good distance in case it turned wrong.

"Pretty good. You need something ?" He was searching something in his pockets and reached his pack of cigarettes. His voice was deep, but gentle. He did look funny but didn't sound dangerous - i still didn't get too close as I hate the smell of smoke.

"Do you know well il Circo Massimo ? I'm going to a concert here tomorrow and I want to make sure I find the right queue, but they haven't installed any sign yet". I asked, showing the structure of the stage behind me.

"Cute accent, where are you from ?" he answered, completely ignoring my question.

"Well, I'm French. So, do you know il Circo ?" I preferred to quickly repeat my question to let him know I wasn't interested in whatever he was trying to.

"Ah, Bonjour ! I speak a little French !" He said, now reaching for his lighter.

"Yeeaaaah cool, but how about the Circo ? I'd like to be here early enough, but I don't know wh-" I froze as he lighted up his cigarette. It was brief, but with the spark, I saw his face for a second.

"Hm ? You don't know what ?" He asked, with a smirky voice.

"Mais naaaan ?" ("Dont tell me -") I let out that typical French astonished sound without thinking. "You gotta be kidding me !"

He laughed as I was getting a little closer, staring at him. With one hand, he was putting his lighter back in his pocket, with the other, he lifted a bit his cap. It was him. It was Damiano.

I felt my spine shiver with that uncomfortable sensation of being around someone famous. As a journalist, I had my lot of interviews, so I knew there's no point in changing behavior around such people. But I still was flabbergasted to see him.

"Sorry, I didn't recognize you. Well, gotta say you're not dressed in your best outfit !" I chose the strategy of sass, to hide how impressed I actually was.

"That's my favourite sweater you're seeing me in, and I'm smoking hot in it" He said with a smirk, getting into the sassy game.

"Time off before the big day ?" I asked, completely forgotting about my initial request and switching to my interview mindset when I'm super focused about the conversation. "Shouldn't you be having a great night of sleep, to recharge your batteries ?"

"I don't feel like going to bed" He said, having no idea how the conversation would soon turn. Fortunately for him, I wasn't working in the music media industry. "That's quite a stage we're gonna play on."

I didn't know why he was talking to me about all of this. I didn't dare to ask him either. I just enjoyed the moment.

"Well, the Eurovision song contest was bigger, wasn't it ?"

"Hm, don't tell me about it, I still don't know how I managed that."

He suddenly had a strange tone in his voice. It didn't sound like the radiant and confident Damiano you see on Instagram stories or on TV interviews. I remembered where I heard him like that. In the 2019 documentary "This is Måneskin", the making of Il Ballo Della Vita album, in the sequence he's arguing with Vic on a train, as he tells her how anxious he can be get sometimes.

"Well, you did, didn't you ?" I put on a more serious voice. "And you had a ton more of pressure, representing your whole country ? So how a concert here in your home town could be worst than performing in front of all of Europe - not to say the whole world ?"

He was still smoking, listening in silence.

"Or maybe it isn't about how big the performance is but about performing in itself ? Why are you performing ? Why are you putting on a show ? All those fancy clothes and that makeup, who is it for ? For people to love you ? Or for you to love yourself ?"

Mais qu'est-ce que je branle ? Il va se barrer dans deux secondes, là c'est sûr (What the fuck am I doing ? He's leaving any second now.) I got a bit too excited about being able to share a few words with him. What's gotten onto me ? Well, let's go then.

"What is it you're running after ? Or running from maybe ? Some complex to compensate ? With all that smudge and confidence, that wouldn't surprise me."

He sat back on the bench. As he inhaled a deep breath of smoke, I saw a smile on his face. But I also saw his hand holding the cigarette shaking.

"Are you a psychiatrist or something ?" He simply said, as if he was trying to keep his voice as steady as possible.

I hesitated to tell him the truth. I was sure he would walk away the second he would know my actual job. Et puis merde, autant tout dire. (Well, fuck, might as well be honest.)

"Nope, I'm a journalist." I admited, as he looked right back at me with a surprised look. "Pretty much the same. We get appoitments with random people, listen to their life, observe their body language, and tell them our whole opinion about all of it, which might very well shape how they perceive themselves from now on."

"Only difference is that you don't have to keep anything secret. Right the contrary."

There. This was it. He was gonna leave now, for sure.

"Before you go, did I hit any truth ? Don't worry, I'm not in the music media industry, I won't write anything from our conversation." I hoped this information would save me a few more seconds with him.

He didn't answer right away. He didn't leave either. He kept looking at me, still smoking his second cigarette in a row now.

"Whatever it is you write about, I guess you must be good at it" he finally replied. "Cause you did score a few points."

Another short silence broke. As a fan, I was obsessed with his music, lyrics, and attitude. But catching a glimpse of what lied behind the glamour definitly caught my interest. I wanted to know more.

"Why are you here ?" I slightly deepened my voice, getting back to my interview tone, and kept on going with this as if that was usual business for me. "It's half past 10. You play on Rome's largest stage tomorrow. You surely better should be in bed, or be about to, before the big day."

In that moment, I had the upper-hand in the conversation. He was sat on the bench, I was on my feet in front of him, and therefore above him. Not the best approach to get someone's trust for an interview, but with a personnality like Damiano's, you gotta put your own show.

"I actually don't sleep much before big events like these" He finally answered, accepting his condition as an interviewee. "I don't sleep much at all."

"You're tend to insomnia ?"

"Not really, I just got used to 4-5 hours of sleep, that's it."

"Even during tours ? Cause this all sold-out European tour for Teatro d'Ira must have been exhausting".

"You have no idea, bellezza."

"So tell me." From there, I decided to change my strategy and sat on the ground, still in front of him, but giving him the upper-hand, to put on a more trustful atmosphere. "How are you doing ? And I don't mean, like casual 'yay, fine', I mean : how are you doing ?"

I still have no idea of my tactical move of giving him more space to express himself worked, or if he understood right away where I was leading him, but in the end, he still didn't seem bothered by this conversation we were having. In fact, it looked like he was enjoying it.

"I'm... content, I'd say." He paused, and I didn't interrupt him with another question this time. "I know I'm going through the life I wanted. The music, the tours, the praise. It's all I could have ever asked for."

D'accord, très bien, mais ? (Okey, very good, but ?) I stayed silent, but I couldn't help anticipating what he was saying.

"But surprisingly, sometimes it's still... unfulfilling. Like I can never be satisfied".

Repressing some Hamilton's lyrics from my mind, I innocently pretend I didn't fully understand what he meant - another journalistic technique, to get someone to repeat themselves with other words in order to get them deeper into their reflexion.

"What do you mean, "never be satisfied" ? You're on top of Spotify chart list, your albums are now platinum successes, you're winning awards. How is this not satisfying ?"

"It's just... What are all those things for ? Money ? Fame ? Yeah, I like those but..."

"Typical Capricorn" I muttered, to slide in the conversation that I actually knew pretty well my subject - my subject being him. He chuckled.

"Damn really ? Let me guess ? Aries ?"

"Pisces+Taurus, actually. So what, you don't like being famous ?" Getting back quickly into more questions - another technique to keep control over the rhythm of an interview.

"It's not that I dislike it. It's just... not always as fun as I thought it would be."

"What part of the job ? The writing and composing ?"

"No, that's the best part." He reached for a third cigarette. It was almost 11 pm now. "Vic, Thomas and Ethan. Måneskin. They're the best thing that ever happened to me".

"Then what, you feel like a fraud ?"

"Hell, no ! I'm exactly where I should be." He claimed, with a light pride tone.

"So, if you're proud of what you create, and if you love the people you create that with, then what is the matter ? If life is about getting the Bare Necessities, it seems like you got it all." Hitting with a universal - and musical - reference. Shoud do the trick.

"Hahaha ! Lo stretto indispensabile, si ! But life isn't that easy." He said laughing, as I felt he started to let go of the tension. "In real life, you get judged all the time, and people try to dismantle you, and spread rumors."

"I didn't think you'd be one to listen to people's comments about you".

"I'm not. I stopped giving credits to those. But it's still here, you know ?"

"From what I see, you're keeping it real, with lots of wisdom. I can't quite grasp what seem to bother you."

He paused, looking at his feet for a few seconds.

"I'm afraid it won't last." He finally confessed. "I'm afraid it all ends as quickly as it all started. I'm afraid people get bored. I'm afraid I become a caricature of myself. I'm afraid I can't write new songs. I'm afraid to be a shooting star, you see ? Very bright, but gone in a flash."

"Like, to be an Icare ? Or may I say "Ykaaar" like on your Instagram ?"

He chuckled again.

"Huh, I'm that obvious ?"

"Yeah, even a bit over-the-top, if I may dare say so."

"Well, I've always related so much with this mythological figure. I mean what's wrong with aiming for the Sun ?" He said, pointing a hand to the dark sky above us. From his attitude, I could tell he was way more relaxed than in the beginning. He even took his cap and hood off, so I could now see his face more clearly. His eyes were glittering. "Burning your wings... What's that morale supposed to teach us ? Be modest ? Be moderate ? Che noia !" (How boring !)

"Well don't be !" I felt almost like scolding him. "There's nothing wrong with seeking big dreams. As there's nothing wrong with this feeling of being outrun by your life. Savour the moment. Every second of it. It's because you can't know how long it may last that it tastes so good, so thrilling ! And you actually already are ten steps ahead ! Writing songs like ´Torna a casa' or ´Coraline' at, what, 19-20 years old ? You're the real deal, dude. And even if later on, you get blank page anxiety or write just good-enough songs, it's okey. You got plenty of time to make mistakes. Take the leap of faith. Failing and being a failure aren't the same. You learn, you grow from it. It's okey to doubt yourself, but please, don't ever doubt all the love and support you get."

I paused, hoping I didn't do too far and missed my point. But in a way, I could also feel I got it right. He was looking at the Circo, his eyes even more sparkling than before.

"I..." He got up, standing on the bench, looking as tall as a statue from my perspective. He came down and took a few steps. I got on my feet, starting to feel concerned about what I just said.

"I didn't know I needed to hear that." He finally confided. "I always wanna reach perfection. I'm aware I can be authoritative, sometimes even harsh, on the band. I can't accept to be a failure. But love and support, that, I can't get enough of."

I didn't respond. There was nothing to add. This instant felt like an hour. The wind was slightly blowing through the length of the Circo in front of us. His hair reflected the gentle light of the moon, only showing her first quarter. He broke the tranquility of the moment, turning and taking a few steps in my direction.

"Grazie mille" he said, his arms opened, calling for a hug.

"But, you're very welcome" I said approaching him, softly putting my arms on his back as he put his over my shoulders. The second before his face disappeared from my vision, i noticed a tear on his cheek.

"You've completed reset my mind. I feel like I can start all over again. I was anguished, trapped by my anxiety. But it's all gone now. You've changed me. Thank you, thank you so much" He affirmed full of hope, his voice shivering.

"Wow, well. I had no idea I could change someone's life." I answered, trying to hide how moved I myself was from the conversation.

------

It was almost midnight now. We kept talking for a while, comparing life in Rome and Paris, exchanging what was our best concert experiences. But he still needed to get back home to rest before the concert, and I didn't want to arrive too late at my airbnb - even if I could have spent the whole night talking with him. Yet, to enjoy our last few minutes together, he offered to walk me back to where I was staying. It was just a 15 minutes walk, along the Tevere river bank.

"So tell me." he asked with a smirk. "How does the Bare Necessities go in French ?" He started to muffle the melody.

"Oh no, you don't expect me to actually sing it ?"

"Hehe, you got me into a therapy session, so I can get a little song from you, no ?"

"Damn, you. This is blackmail !" But drunk on the moment, I took a deep breath.

"Il en faut peeeeeeu pour être heureux, ("Look for the baaaaare necessities,") vraiment très peu pour être heureux, ("the simple bare necessities") il faut se satisfaire du nécessaire !" ("Forget about your worries and your strife")"

I started dancing along, if I had to be ridiculous, might as well utterly be. But he actually followed my lead, clicking his fingers.

"In fondo, baaaasta il minimo, ("I mean the baaaaare necessities") sapessi quanto è facile ("Old Mother Nature's recipes") Trovar quel po' che occorre per campar ! ("That brings the bare necessities of life !")

We kept on singing Disney songs for a few minutes as we walked at a slow pace - I was shocked he never saw Tarzan and immediately made him promise to watch it as i told him Phil Collins recorded all the songs in five languages, including Italian. When we finally reached my destination, we exchanged a last timid hug as farewell.

"Well, I'll see you on stage tomorrow." I told him as I crossed the street.

"And I'll look for you in the crowd !" He shouted with the brightest smile on his perfect face.

** the end **

#maneskin #damiano david #maneskin imagine #damiano david x reader #maneskin x reader #my writing

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irrlicht-writes · 4 years

Text

the path we choose to walk on

Part 1 of my Fix-It for 15x20. There will be more parts, so keep a look out! Also I’m thinking of a tag list, anyone interested? Let me know! @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @cass-said-i-love-you

Ao3

PART 1: a length of rope

“Freedom,�� Sam says. “What do we do with it?”

Dean looks over to his brother, smiling. There is no story left for them, not ever again. Now, they make sure the book gets a good end. They deserve a soft end, don’t they?

“Whatever we want,” Dean replies and they drive away.

“I can’t reach her,” Sam says and panics. He’s holding his phone in his hand and tries again. Dean wants to help, but he doesn’t know how. What if she lost her phone? Because she came back. Jack had brought everybody back, right? Jack wouldn’t leave her behind, right?

She’s important to Sam.

“Can you locate her phone?” Dean asks and Sam nods. His hands are shaking. Dean reaches over and grabs one of them, squeezing it.

“We’ll find her, Sammy,” he says and Sam tries to smile.

Dean is sure of it. There is a happy end waiting. What’s a little more work? What’s a little more searching? Sam will get what he deserves. Sam will get the girl and Dean... well, Dean has Miracle. But that’s not important right now. Right now, Sam’s hand is important. If he can provide just a little support to his brother, then he’ll do that.

“The GPS says she’s right there.”

Sam’s voice quivers and he looks through the windshield. He doesn’t look at Dean.

“Then let’s go there,” Dean says and Sam nods, looking back down at his phone.

Dean starts to drive. There is the open road in front of them; and at the end, Eileen will be waiting.

“There’s a pie contest in this town,” Sam says and Dean looks at the road sign. Huh. They’ve been driving for a while now and a break would be nice if Dean is honest.

“I was also reading the local news and I think there might be a case here.”

So there is a case here, huh? After the entire God thing, a normal case would be really nice. And the pie contest sounds incredibly tempting. It almost sounds too normal and Dean almost wants to pull over. It’s been a long time since he’s had some pie.

But here’s the thing.

Dean doesn’t want to hunt anymore. He doesn’t want to go chasing after the monsters anymore.

“You’ve fought for this whole world for love.”

He’s not a killer. He’s never wanted to be. He simply had never been given the choice but Cas – Castiel saw him for what he was. And Dean believes him. He looks over to Sam and smiles.

“I don’t want pie, Sammy. Let’s keep driving.”

They never go to Dabb’s Pie Festival.

In the afternoon sun, an old nail shimmers in an empty barn.

It’s quiet in the town.

Someone else takes care of the monster.

Nobody dies that day.

Sam’s hand is shaking.

He’s saying that they’re getting close. Even Dean is getting anxious. Sam deserves a happy end. And Dean will figure himself out, like he always does. He thinks about the trench coat he carries in the trunk. Cas is always going to be with him. When he puts the trench coat on, Cas will protect him again, like he always did.

In lonely nights, the trench coat will bring back Cas to him.

“We’re close. She must be here somewhere.”

Sam’s voice is shaking hard. Dean nods and slows the car down.

“Try calling her again,” Dean says.

Sam nods and tries again. She doesn’t need to answer; she just needs to pick up the phone. She just needs to give a little sign of life. Sam is breathing heavily. Dean is scanning the surroundings, hoping to spot a lost woman in the crowd.

When they find her, he should ask Eileen to dye her hair green. That would make her easier to find, at least.

“She doesn’t pick up,” Sam whispers and Dean clenches his jaw.

“We’ll find her,” he says. He has hope. He has faith. He has Castiel in his heart.

Eventually, they stop at the side curb. Sam is trying hard not to cry and Dean wants to cheer him up.

“Cas told me he loves me,” he says and Sam snivels.

“He saved me,” he says and Sam is blinking at him.

“I’m not the killer I believed I was because Cas saw me for who I really am,” he says and Sam is reaching out his hand. Dean doesn’t take it.

“It’s the first time I saw him cry. He was happy, he said. Loving me made him happy,” he says and looks at Sam.

“We’ll find Eileen because that’s what Cas would’ve wanted. Let’s do something for love. I don’t want to be angry anymore. I don’t want to yell anymore. I want to do things because I care. I care about you, I care about Cas, I care about Jack and I care about the whole world – I care so much because I love. I love you, I love Jack, I love the world and I love Cas. I will forever regret that I never got to tell him. He died, Sam, he died without knowing that I loved him like he deserved. At the end, he died believing he was expendable. In the end, he died thinking that he was just a pawn, nothing important. But Sam, without Cas – we wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t be, you wouldn’t be, Eileen wouldn’t be, Jack wouldn’t be.

I always believed that I corrupted him, an angel from Heaven, but in reality? He freed us. In everything we’ve done, Castiel is the only one that did the right thing. He broke free of the story because he wanted to. We’re here, Sam, because Cas dared to do the impossible: he defied God and he got punished and he defied God again. He’s the only one who ever made a choice; whose choice allowed us to go on. And we never told him. We never told him that he did everything right. He never felt at home in the Bunker. He always believed he was a second-rate person.

I never got to tell him, Sam. I’ll never see him again because Jack won’t answer me. I want to do this for him. I want to do it for love. And you’ll get your ending with Eileen, like you deserve. It’s not too late, Sammy.

I want – I need love to win. I can’t get it. But you can. So we’ll find Eileen. And we won’t stop until we’ve found her. And then you’ll tell her that you love her and love can win. It’s not too late. I want to prove right by Cas. I want to be the guy that he saw. I need to be the guy that he fell in love with. I can be. I know I can. So let’s go find your girl.”

Dean steps out of the car.

It’s a nice and warm summer day.

He looks up at the sun.

It’s a nice day to be alive.

After hours of searching, they find her. She’s sitting on a park bench and she’s small and frail and weak and Dean is angry at whoever would do this to her. She’s holding the phone in her hand and Dean realises. She’s seen the calls, she’s seen the texts, but she’s been too shocked to react. After all, who knows what exactly happened to those who came back?

“Eileen,” Sam whispers and he starts running. Dean follows slowly. He’s smiling. Sam can get his happy ending after all and it feels good. Cas would be happy for them too.

Sam falls to his knees in front of her and Eileen sobs, falling into his arms. It’s touching, really and Dean almost wants to turn away. Sam and Eileen are both crying.

Dean reaches into his pocket and wraps his hand around the mix tape. Dean had found it in Cas’ room and he hadn’t been able to leave it behind.

“Hey Cas,” he says and looks up at the sky even though there is no point. Cas isn’t there. But Cas is always in the sky. He’s always someone Dean can look up to.

“We found Eileen. Isn’t that great? Maybe now Sam can get out of this life and I... Cas, I want out too. I don’t want to be Dean Winchester, the killer anymore. I want to be a Dean Winchester where I go into bars and have drinks and I want to ride another mechanical bull and I want a house I can return to. I want to hunt every now and again when something’s going on in the area but I don’t want to chase the monsters anymore. I want to watch chick flicks and I want to wash my car in booty shorts.

I want to have a porch with a nice garden and I want an old recliner I can sit in when I watch my shows. We could’ve watched so many shows together; like stupid sitcoms, y’know? You would’ve laughed at all the dumb jokes, man; you really should’ve laughed more.

I’ll be better than I was, Cas. I’ll be the man you saw in me, because you’re right. I won’t lash out anymore because I remember – I remember that you said I did these things out of love. Dean Winchester is loved.

You – you were it, Cas. In all this mess, you were the one good thing that happened to me. Remember when we met? Good things do happen, Dean? This good thing was you, Cas. It was always you and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I never told you. I’m so sorry that I made you think you didn’t matter and that you were expendable.

You never were. You were always so important. You never had to come back to me, but you did. You came back every single time.”

Dean bows his head.

The sun ahead is mocking him.

“I just wish I could tell you. I wish I could make you understand. But I’m too late. I’m always too late for these things, Cas.”

He had never held Castiel’s hand. He had never ruffled Castiel’s hair. He had never been able to make Castiel wear different clothes. He had never explained the finer things in life to Castiel. And now it is too late.

But he wants to accept himself for who he is. He doesn’t want to hide anymore. Cas loves him exactly as he is and Dean wants to be proud of that.

“Dean,” Sam says and Dean looks up. Sam and Eileen have stopped crying and that’s good. He waves at Eileen who smiles at him.

Sam is happy. It’s so easy to see on his face. It feels good. They got a win. They got a final win and Sam could finally have the white picket-fence that he deserves. And Dean would cope. Dean would just cope. Sam and Eileen would have babies and Dean could be the cool uncle.

And hey, maybe he could become a godparent to Garth’s Cas. Yes. That is a nice thought.

“I could feel your longing,” someone behind him says and Dean whips around just to be face to face with Jack.

“Jack,” he whispers and the boy lifts his hand in response. It’s good to see that Jack is still Jack. Cas would be proud of his son. Dean just wishes Castiel had been there to see it. Dean just wishes that Castiel would be here now to see this.

“I can’t bring him back,” Jack says and Dean knows. That’s why he didn’t ask back then. Cas was gone; and the Empty held the angel forever now. It’s okay. Dean would learn to live with this hole in his heart.

“But,” Jack then continues and Dean looks up.

“I can help you bring him back.”

Sam is holding Eileen tight but Dean can barely see. What did Jack just say?

The boy gestures into the air.

“I can open a portal to the Empty and protect you while you’re in it. But you have to find Cas; and you have to convince him to leave. He has to want to leave that place. As soon as he wants that, I can get him out.”

He looks at Dean.

“You can make him want to leave, Dean. He thinks you’re better off without him, and you need to prove him wrong.”

Dean’s heart is beating too fast. Could this be true? Could this truly be true? What if he died in the car or Chuck killed him or this is just a fever dream because maybe he got impaled on something or –

“I’ll go, too,” Sam says.

Dean turns around to look at him. Sam looks determined.

“I love Cas, too,” he says, “not like you do, but I love him all the same. You told me to get my girl, then, so I’m telling you now, let’s go get your man.”

Eileen nods.

Dean nods.

Sam nods.

Jack nods.

Jack opens a portal and Dean and Sam step through it, into eternal darkness.

Eileen will wait. She’ll wait forever for Sam.

Jack will wait. He’ll wait forever for Cas.

“Where do we go?” Sam asks and Dean doesn’t know how to answer.

He’s breathing hard because there’s nothing here. It’s just dark. How is he supposed to find Cas in all this darkness? This isn’t like tracking down a GPS signal.

“Dean,” Sam says and puts his hand on Dean’s shoulder. Dean tries to catch his breath. But all he knows is Cas. Cas Cas Cas Cas Cas Cas.

“Follow your heart,” Sam says and Dean isn’t sure if he can do that. Cas. He wants Cas. Cas always comes back to him. He can do it this once. He can find Cas, just this once when it matters.

His whole body is shaking and he looks around but it doesn’t help. Find Cas, he has to find Cas. He has to trust himself, he has to trust Cas. He isn’t going to leave this place without Cas. Sam is right behind him. This is the final obstacle. The final monster they have to defeat. Dean can do it. Dean can triumph over the Empty and in the end, love wins.

He takes a deep breath.

And then he starts walking.

Sam follows behind.

One last time.

Dean stops.

He doesn’t know how far they’ve walked because there is nothing here. But something tells him to stop. Something tells him that this is the right spot. He closes his eyes and kneels down on the ground.

“Cas,” he says because that’s all that matters.

Sam stands behind him and it’s a comforting presence. He’s not alone. He’s never been alone. He’s not alone in this trial and Sam will support him.

“Why is it always you?!” He hears himself shout and Dean opens his eyes. They’re somewhere else. He can see himself standing there; and he’s screaming at Cas. Why? Why is he screaming? Why is he always screaming –?

“Every time we fix something you broke; you turn around and break something else!”

Dean gets up from the ground.

“Dean I just wanted to do the right thing,” Cas says and it’s so good to hear his voice.

“The right thing?! You’ve never done the right thing, Cas! Everything you do just makes things even worse! It’s like you don’t care about us at all!”

“Dean, please –“

“Fucking can it, Cas! We don’t need you! We’ve never needed you! I’ve been just too nice to let you stay all this time, you hear me? But this ends here, alright? It’s over, Castiel. If you come back, I will personally get rid of you. You don’t deserve anything, Castiel and I hope your asshole angel brothers exile you to the furthest desert and let you rot there in all eternity. I’m done with you. And now please excuse me while I try to save the world you want to see burn.”

No.

No no no no no no no.

How could he say that? But Dean knows. Dean knows that this is what he’s been like. And Cas, good, pure Cas, just took it all. How could he do that? How could he treat Cas this way? Why did Cas ever come back? Why –

“It’s okay,” Cas says to a little bird and Dean sobs.

“He’s angry because he cares so much. One day, if I’m good, then he’ll care about me too. I just need to prove myself. Once I’ll do something right, he’ll smile at me, you know? I just have to earn his care. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

“Cas,” Dean sobs and Cas turns around. But he doesn’t look at Dean. Dean wants to go to him and hold him and apologise for himself.

“Cas, please come back to me,” Dean sobs and Cas tilts his head.

But then Dean blinks and Cas is gone.

“Cas,” Dean cries and Sam’s hands on his shoulder don’t help at all.

“Man, I love boobs,” he hears himself say and he doesn’t want to listen.

“Oh?” Castiel replies.

“Yeah. Honestly, I don’t get how people could be into dick.”

Castiel frowns. “Are women not?”

“Well yeah. I meant – I meant other dudes. Why would I want another dick if I could get boobs?”

Castiel is quiet for a while. “You don’t like men being with other men?”

This time, Dean hears how quiet Cas’ voice is. He hates it. Why hadn’t he ever heard before? It’s because he didn’t want to hear. He hadn’t cared. If he had just listened back then, then – then maybe...

“No. I mean, I don’t care. It’s just not for me, y’know? I couldn’t ever see myself liking dick. Like, someone else’s dick. I don’t know. I think I’m missing the appeal.”

Castiel looks so sad. Back then, Dean hadn’t seen. He hadn’t cared. He had never cared. Why had he never cared?

“It’s okay,” Cas says after Dean is gone.

“I can still be his friend. I just want to be with him. It’s enough. It’s enough. I have no other choice. It has to be enough. It doesn’t... it doesn’t matter what I want. I don’t matter. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

At the end, Cas’ voice breaks. Dean’s heart breaks too.

“You matter, Cas,” he whispers, “you always mattered.”

Cas looks up but again, he doesn’t see Dean. Dean tries to get closer.

“I’m an idiot,” Dean says, “and I never deserved you. But please, please, come back to me, Cas, please.”

“It’s okay,” Castiel says and it’s raining. Dean is cold. He recognises this.

“I’m not useful to him right now, so that’s why he sent me away.”

“Cas, no,” Dean whispers breathlessly but Cas doesn’t look at him.

“I had just hoped that – that maybe now he and I could be... that we could be...” Castiel’s voice breaks away.

Cas is walking through the dark evening and the sky looks like rain. Dean wants to go to him, wrap him up in his jacket and hold him close and tell him how much he matters.

“I’m not his friend,” Cas says and Dean’s breath hitches hard.

“He’s always just needed my powers but now that I’ve got none of them left, I lost my usefulness to him. It’s okay. He saved me from April. That means something, right? It means he cares just a little bit. Maybe – maybe if I’m really good and prove myself, then he’ll take me back. I’ll just become a very good human being and then Dean will see that I’m worth it. He’ll say that it was just a test to see how I’d do and then I’ll have passed and he’ll hug me and we can eat burritos together.

I hope he’s fine. He’s got Sam. He’s got Sam and I’ve got nobody. It’s okay. It’s okay. It has to be okay. Get a grip, Castiel. You’re going to be just fine. You’ll ace this human thing and then you can go back to Dean and tell him you’ve done well.

It’s okay. It’s okay. He’ll smile at you and clap you on the back and he’ll tell you that your home is with them in the Bunker and you’ll get to help. They’ll value you, they both will, because they’ll care for you.

You just have to get there. You can do it. You can do it. It’s okay. It’s okay. It has to be okay. You’ve got no other choice. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

Castiel’s voice is quiet and flat and it breaks Dean’s heart. How did Cas ever see anything good in him? He’s done nothing but degrade the angel, again and again.

“Cas,” he cries. “Please come back to me.”

Cas turns his head.

“Who’s there?” he asks but Dean’s fading away.

“He doesn’t love you,” Lucifer says.

“I know,” Castiel replies.

“So why are you holding on to him?”

Castiel blinks and looks at Lucifer. He doesn’t answer.

“You’ve let the devil possess you, all in the desperate effort to save that mud-monkey. Tell me why he deserves it. Tell me why I shouldn’t just get rid of both of them.”

“Because,” Castiel says, “I will cast you out if you do. They’re important to me. It doesn’t matter what they think of me. I will do everything they ask without question.”

“You’re a fool,” Lucifer says.

“Yes,” Castiel agrees. “But I chose this fate by my own free will. And I keep choosing it. I will forever keep choosing this. It’s worth it. They’re worth it. Dean’s worth it.”

Lucifer grabs him and slams him against a wall. They’re in the Bunker kitchen, Dean realises.

“Then maybe you should suffer for your precious human.”

“For him, I’ll do anything.”

“You’re broken beyond repair, Castiel. I don’t even know what’s still holding you together.”

Castiel smiles.

He doesn’t scream when Lucifer punches him through the gut, but Dean does. He can’t move.

Castiel looks at him. Castiel sees him. Dean can’t speak. He doesn’t know how. Castiel smiles.

“It’s okay,” he says with blood running over his lips.

“I love him,” Castiel says and Dean sees himself raking leaves.

He remembers this. It’s when he was staying with Lisa.

“But I can’t have him,” Castiel says and Dean takes a step closer to him.

“He deserves his peace,” Castiel says and Dean’s legs are shaking.

“And I’m not supposed to feel,” Castiel says and Dean is getting closer.

“I’m a broken angel,” Castiel says and Dean reaches out his hand.

“Nobody would ever love a dysfunctional angel,” Castiel says and Dean’s almost there.

“I’ll watch over him,” Castiel says and it’s just one more step.

“It’s okay,” Castiel says and Dean hugs him.

“It’s not okay,” Dean says and Castiel doesn’t move.

“I’m sorry,” Dean says and Castiel turns his head.

“I’m so sorry for everything I’ve put you through,” Dean says and Castiel tries to turn in Dean’s arms.

“You’re not broken,” Dean says and Castiel puts his hand on Dean’s arm.

“I can never make it up to you,” Dean says and blinks away the tears. Castiel is silent.

“But I want to try,” Dean says and lifts his head. Castiel is looking at him.

“I can’t go on without you,” Dean says and Castiel puts a hand on Dean’s cheek.

“I can’t live in a world where you don’t exist,” Dean says and Castiel is wiping away a tear.

“You’ve always been worth the world, Cas,” Dean says and his lip quivers. Castiel puts a finger on it.

“Please come back to me,” Dean whispers and closes his eyes.

“Dean,” Castiel says and Dean looks at him.

“I love you,” Castiel says and Dean laughs with a broken cry.

“Please come back to me,” Dean whimpers, “I want you with me.”

Before Castiel can answer, he’s fading away.

Everything is fading away and Dean fights, he fights so hard to hold on but everything is slipping through his fingers.

“Cas!” He yells. “Cas! Cas! Cas, please!”

“Cas, please don’t leave me!”

In the end, nothing remains.

Eileen holds Sam tight. Dean is sitting on the ground and Jack has put his hand on his shoulder. It feels wrong.

“You tried all you could,” Jack says and Dean thinks he’s a crappy liar.

It’s never enough. He was just there, witnessing all this and he couldn’t even change anything in the end.

“It’s okay,” he says. He wonders if Cas had felt just as hollow whenever he had to tell himself that it was okay. He can’t ever make it up to Cas. Dean’s had the most pure being just within arm’s reach and he’s fucked up.

He couldn’t even say it. He couldn’t even say I love you back. What has been the point? He hadn’t even been able to say it back. Cas deserves better than this.

You have to keep fighting, Cas had once said. And maybe Dean has to do just that. What else does he have left?

He looks over to Sam and Eileen. They look at him with pity and he hates it.

“Let’s go,” he says instead and stands up. He can see that Sam wants to say something but he shakes his head. He doesn’t want to hear it. He doesn’t need to be patronised. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. If Cas had always been able to move on, then so could Dean.

He heads for the car.

He thinks about the trench coat in the back.

“I love you, Castiel,” he whispers into the wind, but nobody answers.

Two weeks pass and Dean tries. He wants to drink, but he doesn’t. He wants to hole up in his room, but he takes Miracle on walks instead. Cas would be proud of him, taking care of himself. And in time, he would be able to get out further. Get a job, get new friends. In time, Dean would get there. He prays to Cas every night and somewhere in his heart he hopes that Cas can still hear him. It gives him comfort.

“You know, Miracle,” he says while he’s collecting the dog poop. “You would’ve liked Cas. He makes me really happy, you know? Just like you do.”

The dog barks excitedly and Dean smiles.

“And Cas would’ve liked you too. He has a tan coat, you know? It’s the one you always try to sniff like there are treats inside the pockets. Cas would’ve always had some for you, you know? He’s good like that. You would’ve gotten along really well.”

Miracle whines and tries to cheer him up. Dean laughs a little.

“Now, now. It’s okay. I’m okay. I’ll miss him, I’ll miss him forever but I have to keep living, y’know? For Cas. Cas wouldn’t want me to wallow in self-pity for all eternity. So I’ll do it for him. I’ll be the man he saw in me because I know I can be. I just need a little more time. And you’ll be here for me, won’t you?”

Miracle barks as if to say of course. Dean laughs.

“Of course,” he echoes. Castiel said it all the time. Dean realises now that must’ve meant of course I love you, at least on some end.

“The purest being in the universe loves me,” Dean says. “You should’ve seen him smile, Miracle. You wouldn’t love me so much if you’d ever see him smile. I should’ve made him smile more.”

“We bought a house,” Sam says two months later. Dean just nods. It was inevitable and he’s happy for them. He smiles.

“That’s great, Sammy,” he says, “as long as I get a key?”

Sam laughs and shoves at him. It feels good. Life has to go on. He’s going to be okay. He looks to Eileen who’s making a small shush motion and Dean just winks.

“You could come with us, Dean. I don’t want to leave you here alone.”

Dean looks around. Sam’s right. Being alone in the Bunker isn’t going to be good for his mental health. But he doesn’t want to impose on Sam and Eileen. He needs a job. He’s wallowed long enough.

Dean nods.

“You’re right. I need a job, a real one with money. I’ll only sit on you as long as I absolutely have to, but you’re right. It’d be too quiet here, just on my own.”

He needs to move on.

I’m proud of you, Dean.

Dean smiles. Cas is with him, always. It’s a good feeling.

He stands up and hugs his family. They hug back.

It feels good.

The ache will never go away, but it feels good.

Someday, he’ll be at peace.

#supernatural #Destiel #fix-it #angst #castiel #dean winchester #Sam Winchester #eileen leahy #hurt #hurt/comfort #writing #irrlicht writes #dean x castiel #spn 15x20 #userpris #it gets better #watch out for the rest

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