#i am barely surviving right now and i dont know how to get out of the hole im in

[shot-messenger]

things r so not good and there is no real sign of it changing any time soon

[swagging-back-to]

thinking of the time when i was trying to quickly get back to the overworld after travelling too far from my nether portal so i wentdown to a gravel shore and was donna burn myself in one block deep lava but when i went to dig the grabel it fell INTO A PIT OF 30 BLOCK DEEP LAVA and i had to literally throw my phone and cover my ears while saying 'dont think about how deep ut is'until my character finally died an eternity later.

still makes me cry

just like that time i spawned in a new world at the bottom of a 60 block deep river cave and didnt realize till i looked up and saw how deep i was

[sunnnfish]

Due to the mental anguish I am rambling about tbhk. I WAS going to put this under a readmore but that keeps breaking the post on mobile so. Im sorry. Tons of spoilers for chapter 99. And like the whole series. You know how it is.

I feel like I need to make an itemized list because there’s so fucking much I need to talk about right now

The violence and parallels to tsukasa. I mean who can forget tsukasa prying mitsubas mouth open to feed him number 3s heart. Who knows what tsukasa’s intentions were but they weren’t necessarily bad— as we know now mitsuba needs to eat to survive plus number 3 was like a pretty big power boost that would keep him together for a longer time. So he likely just wanted mitsuba to live comfortably. BUT ALSO there’s the beginning of the chapter where tsukasa tells mitsuba to dig the heart out himself vs kou who gets it for him. Anyways. With kou here it clearly came from a similar place of wanting mitsuba to not disappear. There’s a desperation to it and fear and it’s one I personally actually know quite well. I’ve dealt with friends refusing to eat and take care of themselves and it is a violent frustrating feeling that just ends with crying after the anger fades. There’s a lot of confusion like. Why do you not care about yourself as much as I care about you. Anyways. His actions make a lot of sense to me bc I have felt and done the exact same things.

Me core ^

and THEN there’s mitsubas feelings of wanting to be fucking exorcised and going to the fucking minamoto household to do it there’s so much here hang on. Like. I think he went to the minamoto house for some sliver of hope. If he wanted to for sure disappear he probably could’ve waited it out or something better but he went to the place where, depending on who answered the door, he’d either die or be faced with fucking. Kou minamoto. And the fact the he chose to reveal himself to kou it’s like. Did you really want to disappear. Did you really. And then taking him out on a fucking date basically like. You don’t want to disappear do you. You just don’t want to be. This. He wants to be human. He wants someone who will understand him and. And. Kou so readily accepts and understands him. Even the parts he thinks are ugly or unworthy. Fuck.

AND THEN. Kous feeling of inadequacy and fearing that mitsuba trusts tsukasa more than him and connecting to the vision he saw in the red house. Whether he accepts it or not he wants mitsuba to need him. The red house showed him a mitsuba who told him that he needs kou that he wants kou to be a supernatural with him and he brushes it away knowing mitsuba would never say that to him. He tells himself that mitsuba would never trust him or want him like that but he wants it to be real and he’s still hurt when the real mitsuba won’t open up to him. And it all comes back to his overall self worth issues of wanting to be strong and dependable and worthy.

AND this is all under the context of Teru finally letting kou have some responsibility and telling him to go exorcise the low level spirit that came near their home and AaaaaAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUU. KOU MINAMOTO……..

God its just. Kou minamoto cares about mitsuba so so so much and neither of them completely understand the gravity of it all. Also at this point hes said like 3 times that mitsuba is the root of all his worries. ALSO dont even get me started on the art and expressions this chapter. It’s so gorgeous like as always but. God. Also the keychains. Im gonna[blaring truck horn]

ALSO the way mitsuba says at the end like ‘you’d be lonely without me’ or whatever and kou almost looks shocked for a second like. Oh. And its like he thinks about it more and cries more because yeah, he would be lonely. He’s been lonely. Mitsuba somehow inexplicably became like his closest friend that knows everything about him and god he was lonely when mitsuba disappeared. The first time and the second. And he’s barely had time to process any of it because to everyone else around him mitsuba doesnt really. Matter. And because kou is so kind he is always putting everyone else’s problems in front of his own. The severance happens and it becomes a journey to help nene bring hanako and aoi back—next to no mention mitsuba aside from the leads to the red house, much less trying to find and save him too. The whole time theyre in the boundary to the far shore its all about hanako and nene and number 6. And there’s STILL the conversation about how to become a supernatural that he brought up with nene but noooooo we cant ever know anything about what kou wants. And like. It all comes back around this chapter because he so so selfishly wants mitsuba to live. One of the only things he lets himself want. And it aches. God. I wish i was any good or natural at prose writing because god the things i would write about minamoto kou. AND TO TOP IT OFF HES LIKE FUCKING 14 YEARS OLD…. Okay. Okay im done.

[marvelita85]

Insest, sex, mention of sex,

The only thought repulse you, marrying that rapist, your brothers tried to talk in your favor you knew even in their side Aemond was fighting against it but Aegon asked your hand as a truce between blacks and greens to asure his safty and his family to give you the queens tittle if your mother renounced to hers

- you cant ever start to concidered giving y/n to him.... Helaena died miserable being beside that...- Rhaenyra coulnt keep talking

- hear me out... y/n is a smart girl... she knows what to do... how to handle them... both brothers showed aftection for her... with the right move we will have a very strong player from the inside

- mother... Daemon is right... - you didnt call him father ever he was your real one, you were very much like him you werent naif you knew the part you had to play in that game

- you realised you will have to perform your wife duties with him... he wont spare you, he will break you...

- mother thats what they think, that Im breakable... I am a dragon I wont break, I promise you here and now they will bend to my will and I will make them pay for almost killing Luke with tears of blood

Rhaenyra huged you and you close your eyes knowing the next raven to kingslanding would seal your fate

-I wonder what did he conquer to wear the conqueror's crown

- probably the whole flee bottons street whores

- dont remind me I have to spend the rest of my nights with him...

- he probably will ignore you... - you look at your brother Jace and he try to give you a kind smile, there was no doubt in your mind you hated him, his face wasnt a please one when you didnt wear the dress the queen mother wanted you to wear for the ceremony, you wear your dark and red colors, not the green of your new husband

- I see you are not wearing the dress my mother have chosen for you

- your mother is not the queen anymore, I am and I'll wear whatever I want to wear not your mother's choice beside green was never my color

The hand was serious he knew the union was going to be a problem but there was no way of taking the idea out of Aegon's mind

Aegon wasnt bad looking he looked young and beautiful, but his actions were the reason to dislike him, you were hoping he drink so much he would pass out in the wedding night but you werent that lucky, your eyes found Aemond's one looking back at you devastingly knowing you wouldnt be his anymore ever there was a chance between you

Aegon was enjoying every moment, you remembered the bedding ceremony and you thought you could be sick in front of everyone, at the mare sujestion Aemond and Daemon rise from their sits looking back at Aegon with murderous eyes, you look back at your father rising from your own sit offering your hand to your husband, Aegon look back at you holding your hand and both of you alone left the party to his chambers

- I know you wish for me to be my brother.. - you frown looking at him, you sat back into the matress of his bed - I wish to show you I'm not the monster you think I am - Aegon said getting closer and you tried to calm yourself this was a night you had to survive

He wasnt agresive or rude to you, on the contrary you were surprise at the care Aegon plunged into that night, you tried to be calm and quiet, let him have what he seek with that marriage and what you thought would be the only night transform in almost all nights but Aemond lived there too and that was a passion you couldnt tell your heart to doze

Your plan was working to perfection, you had your husband satisfied with you, even you fill your ideas into his head that it was better for him to take another hand that his grandfather was old and he didnt find the same expectations as your grandfather did in the past

- who would you name as hand... - Aegon asked from bed one night, you smile touching the conqueror's daga resting in one of the tables closer to the bed, it would be so easy to plunged it into his bare chest and be done with it all but Aegon's death would result in your own and you didnt want that....

- maybe... Ser Criston.... - he was a green too but more volatile and hot tempered than Otto that would make it easier for Daemon to bring him out to battle if the oportunity arise

- my brother's knight?

- he protects you too... besides I believe you need change and Otto cant give you that anymore - Aegon smile grabbing your hand pushing from it and kissing your lips , your side of the family was safe because of your marriage but you wanted them to pay for what they have done

Aemond was your next target, when you knew your husband was in your hands you move to the prince, who always have wanted you and didnt mind sharing you with his brother

That lilac eye watching you everytime you cross path into the castle you smile to him caress his hand when you pass beside him without anyone noticing

He couldnt keep pretending nothing happend one day crossing path into the hallway going into his chambers you stop just in front of him there was no words exanged just both of you and even your plot of revenge against the greens was working you couldnt deny the atraction you had with the youngest of your uncles, one was your husband but if you could have chosen it would have been Aemond instead

- my queen....

- it sounds nice coming from you... are you going to start being loyal to me?

- I was always... I'm sorry for any harm I could have cause you with my actions...

- you almost kill Luke - you dare to step closer to him your chest almost touching his, Aemond grab your arms but didnt let you go

- I didnt I never wanted it

- you are getting married soon...

- you should have been my wife...- you smile closing your face to his

- you didnt have balls to make me your wife - you were so close he only had to low his head a little and his lips would touch yours

You didnt realise but his door was just in front of you, his arms hold you against his body as he crushed his lips into yours, your body responded inmediatly and he walked inside his chambers with you in his arms, Aemond worked his fingers into the laces of your dress as well as your hands into the claps of his leader tunic

In his bed you consumated what should have been your greatest love, Aemond was atentive, caring and exelent lover far better than Aegon and you discover that instead of his brother Aemond seeked your pleaure instead of his own

When he sat in his bed taking you with him kissing your lips again, his hair was half undone, his eyepatch rest in his place but you moved your hand removing it, Aemond wanted to hide from your eyes but you undone his hair falling around his bare shoulders and his left zafire eye shined to the light of the candles around the bed

- dont hide from me Aemond... you look beautiful

- you are the most beautiful here my queen

- you should have been my king... not Aegon... you - he kissed you again but the doubt was planted into his mind and even your plan was still in montion to get ride of the greens once and for all, your heart betrayed you falling for one of them

[like-rain-or-confetti]

I’ve been mulling this around in my head 😅 sorry for the ramble, you don’t have to answer the request since it’s not an x-reader thing if you don’t want to but how would the Gotham villains react (scarecrow, riddler, blackskull, joker) if they found out their daughter from their deceased s/o (the love of their life) was a superhero. Like a few years prior there was an accident that only the daughter barely survived and they got powers but didn’t tell anybody and have been doing solo work but during the day in a full body suit.

The Gotham villains found out or figured out it was their daughter because Batman had foiled their plans once again but there was an explosion and the building was crumbling/sinking and the superhero/daughter saved them and left them in a safe place asking if they were okay then left.

Aloha! So I'm actually gonna pick this up on what happens afterwards because you just know they'll see each other again long before these rogues are over it. I will have to put a TW because Roman Sionis.

Where the Apple Fell...

The rogues never anticipated you following your mothers footprints and as the last thing left of her that they have. There's not a chance in hell you're getting out of this without a serious punishment. One that will make you think twice before stepping outside after sun down.

Scarecrow: The one thing that was constant with your father was his blank expression. Even when you were barely out the womb, your dad was stone-faced, and it was terrifying as a kid to grow up with a dad who simply didn't emote. You know what's terrifying? Doing something wrong, and your dad doesn't yell or look angry. He just stares into your very soul, asking way too hard, hitting questions.

Nowadays, you expected it and were used to it. You didn't see your father much anymore with how focused on his work he was. (Priorities, am I right?) So that made hero work easy peasy- the man didn't even notice! He thought you were off to college and probably partying at nights like any other. He wishes you were. He really wishes you were right about now because clearly you're not. He lost your mother from this very same compulsion, and he hated it then, and he hates it now.

So the last thing you expected was to be cornered by your father one night. His piercing gaze into your soul and asking you how long you've been doing this. After a while, you begin to think he's actually taking it well. That's until you hear a deadpan. "No." He doesn't expand further, but it was clear that he wasn't going to take this easily. Without warning, he sprayed fear toxin in your face. His henchmen come speeding around in a white van, and Jonathan carries you into the back. You're going to be staying with him for a while until you learn a lesson. One Jonathan never thought he'd have to teach his own daughter. Some might call it evil, but Jonathan considers it necessary. Parenting is just filled with things you have to do for the well-being of your child. His family just have a particular issue that other families didn't. A silly compulsion to save people who cannot be saved.

Black Mask: Roman is the kind of dad you just dont mess with because he's scary when he's mad. You saw what he was like around anyone that wasn't you or your mother, and the man has anger issues. That only escalated when your mother died. That's when the hero thing wasn't so funny and much more frowned upon. He was much more comfortable with the little kid routine than he was when you got older when you were more difficult to please and more of your own person. Paying for college was a relief because it seemed like maybe he could do something right by you. However, that pride in you quickly vanished after that night.

Your dad had a very particular way of telling you that he wanted to speak to you when he was angry. He was less inclined to open his mouth. He surprised you when he tore your mask off your face and proceeded to drag you into the car by your hair. He didn't speak a word after that until you were back home, glaring and staring you down the whole way there. After that, hell broke loose. "What the fuck am I paying for college for if you're trying to get yourself killed every night, you fucking dickhead! Do you not have a fucking brain!? Did you even get into college!? Are the standards that fucking low!?" He was far from done. "What you wanna put me in prison, huh!? What's your problem!?" There's no correct answer to that as it turns out. "Your mother DIED from doing this shit and now you want to do the same thing? For what!? You want me to lose my kid too!? The only thing I have left of her!?" What you didn't anticipate was a smack across the face before he grabbed your face. "Yeah, I fuckin' hit you. I hit you because apparently that's what you're after every night. Here's what's gonna happen. You're not gonna leave this house for a damn thing until I decide your head is on straight enough that I can trust you go back out there. If you ever pull this shit again, I'm not gonna come after you as your dad and you're gonna get so much worse than a fucking slap, you hear me?"

The Riddler: Okay, yes, he's dad, but he's one of the most absent present fathers ever known. One of the few people who could achieve both my being physically in his child's life but be completely unavailable in every sense of the word. It was to the extremes that he might as well not be around, and sometimes, as a child, you even forgot your dad isn't off on some business trip... He's running around Gotham committing crimes, and he's building and plotting. None involved his kid ever. A kid he often forgets. So there wasn't really a need to worry about consequences from him... because that would imply him paying attention. When your mother died, he did enough to ensure you were still alive on a regular basis, but he didn't know the first thing about you beyond that. So his chances of finding out his kid took up hero work after the love of his life dying was actually rather small. Or at least that's what you believed.

Turns out that was very wrong as the Riddler had eyes and ears everywhere. It just took him longer to figure out your identity, but when he noticed-oh, when he noticed you are going to be skinned by the Riddler, he's that furious. "YOU THINK I DONT KNOW MY CHILD'S MANNERISMS? IT'S SO OBVIOUS ITS YOU!" The Riddler seethed as he showed you CCTV footage. You looked at it. It was very much you, but the quality of CCTV is horrendous, and a potato might have given more video quality. This was the first time in your whole life your father had actually yelled at you, and it wasn't terrifying as one might think. It was...weird. like watching a deranged madman yelling. Was this really how your dad was? You didn't get much time because the Riddler began to rant about your betrayal, and clearly, you're just as stupid as everyone else to go against him like this.

Apparently, you lost your right to live freely at this point. He's literally getting an ankle bracelet right now to track you. You'll be staying home every night from now on. He'll watch you like you're a toddler because clearly you don't know what's good for you. At this point he's not even thinking about your mother. If you thought about it. This might actually be coming from a place of fear rather than betrayal.

Joker: He hasn't been an actual dad since you were five and hasn't tried either. That whole ship sailed for him well and truly after your mother died. That's when he was well and truly done. So he's the one dad who...actually couldn't care less. He finds it a joke. Absolutely hilarious because -of course- his own child would turn against him and try to lock him up, siding with the people of Gotham who don't even care about each other but that's all a part of the game right? So much for the apple not falling far from the tree, eh bats? There really isn't a connection there anyway. Joker is always in his own state of mind, never connecting with anyone well and truly. Unless it's the Batman of course. Maybe the Joker can understand the appeal in that regard. He can't exactly fault you for being interested in the Batman. So... I guess this counts as a pass? A do what you like in the least supportive way possible?

[andreabandrea]

the 'stay at home girlfriend' tiktok thing makes me so mad because people are right to be upset about how working sucks and you cant afford anything anymore and the 'minimum wage' is a starvation wage so why do anything at all, but they wrongly frame it as a gender issue rather than realizing that work sucks for everyone, and we can fix it instead of going back to relying on men for everything. no fault divorce, women being able to have their own bank accounts, women being able to own their own apartments and homes, etc-- these things are still new and were fought for by feminists, and people who grew up with them dont realize how lucky they are to have them. i would have thought that the repeal of roe v wade would have opened peoples eyes to how easily all our progress can be taken away and how conservatives will stop at nothing to do so. and i feel like people who think being a trad housewife is awesome have never spoken to an older woman in their lives.

it completely undervalues the amount of work that homemakers actually do, and glamorizes the lifestyle severely, also. i mean, god. reading "My Mother Never Worked" by Bonnie Smith-Yackel (if you take away nothing else from my post, read this) changed me forever, and i remember getting so upset hearing comedians like ali wong framing being a housewife = sitting around watching TV all day. being a homemaker is grueling, unappreciated work. you will cook, you will clean, you will have children and care for your family, you will tend to the house, if you are living out your cottagecore fantasy, you will spend hours of utterly backbreaking work taking care of crops and animals (they dont show the hours shoveling shit out of hay in stardew valley), and most of all, you will take care of your dipshit husband who hates you but who you rely on for everything. and if you're just a stay at home "girlfriend" doing all this, you have nothing like alimony for the time you weren't technically employed when you get dumped by your idiot nazi boyfriend like you would if you were legally married.

when things look hopeless, look to those who are actually taking action instead of letting yourself give up. hope is a skill. look at all the companies that unionized last year. i'm not going to end this rant by making a holier-than-thou list of things you can and should be doing, i know how hard it is to just survive in the modern day-- but at the bare minimum, don't let this dangerous alt-right-but-#girlboss rhetoric spread.

i am however going to end this by saying that these people are also technically right that they shouldn't have to work at all (hence wishing to be a housewife, even if thats misguided)-- i would redirect them by telling them about instead of making it a gender thing, this is a dream that a lot of people have had, and we shouldn't let employers change the conversation. this dream's not even that far in the rearview mirror in the USA. within the past ~50 years, it wasn't uncommonly thought that automation and machines would take over all basic manual labor and people would eventually have to work fewer and fewer hours, and eventually not at all-- but now, people worry about a robot stealing their job. i'm not going to go into all the steps that would be needed to make this possible (UBI, universal healthcare rather than healthcare tied to employment ...), but i feel like just reminding people of this conversation is powerful. don't let employers control the conversation.

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

hi im anon from (734828727660412928/npd-culture-is-deciding-to-give-up-on-friendships?source=share) (hopefully that link works, I don't use tumblr often so I'm not sure how to go about following up asks on anon). just came back to read this blog during a really bad crash im having right now because it cheers me up to know im not alone in having symptoms of this disorder and saw my ask got posted...

(update on friend situation) just today they said in the group chat theyre all drawing gift art for each other and other friends... i'm still waiting on the paid art from them but they're doing art trades and stuff for free so i feel kind of like trash. im a bit of a bleeding heart though so im gonna give them like one more month before telling them not to bother finishing the art for me... id love my money back because it did cost a LOT of money but i dont want to be a dick so im just going to express my disappointment by telling them not to worry about the commission at all. i want to feel like i have some right to be mad in this situation but im very soft hearted and dont really have any other friends so if i lost these friends id have literally nobody else in my life :( and that kinda feels like hell for me to think about... i feel like im being treated like dirt but im still going to go christmas shopping for them.............. even if i feel like shit, i feel shittier if i dont get people gifts and stuff because i just think to myself, like, "i feel like crap if nobody buys me shit for holidays or my fucking own birthday and i dont want other people to feel that way".....

also im feeling a little sad because whenever my friends talk about their friends they dont even refer to me by name theyll go "[friend a name], [friend b name] and oomfie are in our server" or something. im not even a name to them... i feel like the last kid picked on a team but not even the last pick. like have you guys ever been on a sports team and you kinda got awkwardly waved over to one of the teams because nobody even wanted to pick you? yeah.

i wonder if im just really dense and need to pick up on hints that people dont even want to be around me. i even tried to post this video game i started working on lately because i thought it was really interesting and cool and i put my soul into it but everyone just ignored it in the group chat.

i think the social outcast route is probably my best bet at this rate, i think. im going to be pretty fucking depressed about limiting my social interactions but i think the depression from isolation isnt as bad as getting constant narc crashes from people not putting even a tiny bit of energy into friendships. like.. i honestly am not asking for very much. i get fucking narc highs if someone uses my fucking name in a conversation. i get highs from literally the bare minimum fucking interaction of anything directed in my direction im so desperate....

i wasnt going to write up a follow up ask but i just wanted to say thanks to this blog for existing and making me feel like im not completely alone and thanks for the nice comments in the reblogs and tags, it cheered me up. you guys are really nice to me and i'm a complete stranger to you all, it makes me feel like theres some hope for nice people existing out there. im just a little too tired to carry on. thank you all, i hope you have a really good day. keep on surviving out there, it's not a kind world to any of us, and it's tough to stay alive at all.

(apologies for another vent but thanks for posting my asks <3 i wish you all the best and nice days to come. also sorry this isnt in the npd culture format, but i just rly wanted to say thank you for the support on the other ask)

sending hugs (with consent) nonny 🫂 i'm so sorry honestly you deserve way better than how your friends are treating you :( i hope at some point you can talk to them about how they're making you feel and improve the situation because it sounds like you deserve better

[shiningnightstars]

Hello I am here for seeds lore

ask and you shall receive!

seeds and rayla are from my story (which has not been posted anywhere ever </2) "a seed of hope". the concept for the story was based on an article i read when i was like. 11. and it was about how scientists where figuring out how to make it so human children could be born with animal parts (e.g: cat ears, bird wings, etc.)

the story takes place in a time period where this was successfully figured out and therefore parents were giving their children bits of animal genetics through like. putting the dna in them. i would explain the science better but i am TIRED right now so. yeah i think you could probably research it if youre curious?

anyways, of course because humans tend to SUCK. these hybrids were looked upon as just feral animals by many humans. in fact, it started going so far that "zoos" made, not for protection of animals, but for the money and profit off of other's suffering, started popping up, and they would offer insane amounts of money to parents who agreed to give up their children to be raised in these zoos. and it wasnt very great by any means.

at first, scientists had only figured out how to put the dna of other mammals into humans - not, say, reptiles or birds just yet. however, after several more years of studies, they finally figured out how to do hybrids of reptiles with humans/birds with humans. however it was incredibly difficult for them to survive for a long time due to the huge change, and in the case of reptiles, cold-blooded vs warm-blooded. if their animal type can fly, then theres a slim chance of them being able to actually lift themselves off the ground, much less actually glide or even fly. so, naturally, the zoos would pay so much for this stuff. putting these people in cages for being just a bit different in a way they cant control.

flash forward to the present. seeds is 20 now, and has been in these zoos for, well, 20 years. he barely remembers his mom and never met his dad, as they were both bird hybirds like him and, per rules in the zoos, a child born in a zoo is not to meet their father and is only to be with there mother until they can walk and talk on their own.

seeds, being one of the few bird hybrids that can actually fly, hates being trapped in the cages. hes only never escaped because of the chains that tie his wings together and the fact that he was always told bad things about the outside world as a kid. twice a day he goes off to a separate, large open room where the chains are temporarily removed so he can fly freely and show off for the visiters.

one day, however, it is discovered that the keys to unlock the chains were stolen. suddenly hit with the fact he may never fly free again, he immediately went and escaped the zoo in order to find the who stole the keys and get them back.

he managed to, somehow, successfully escape. he got out and promptly began his search, knowing he was gonna have to be quick so that theh dont realize he gone, or at least so he doesnt get caugjt by someone willing to bring him back.

to get a higher vantage point, he climbs up a building in order to see more of the city below. however, for but a moment, he foregts about the chains, and jumps off the building to start flying.... and he jsut falls.

thankfully he is unharmed as he is caught by someone with a pair of big ole ram horns on her head. she puts him down, playfully teasing like "oh i see the little birdy cant fly, hm?"

he is, frankly, caught off guard by this, but once he mentally steadies himself again, he asks her if she might know what haplened to the keys, seeing as shes a hybrid as well, who seems to also be from the zoo. she pulls the keys out, but doesnt unlock the chains. she wants to make deal the next day, waiting a bit longer to see how truly willing he is. he agrees to meet up, and yeah. in exchange for him helping her cause problems from those against hybrid freedom, she will unlock his wings. he agrees, and he is free once more. and the ram girl introduces herself as rayla.

over time they get closer and closer and start to become friends, and eventually partners. seeds finally speaks up about one of the biggest reason he hated the zoo. (heavy tw for sexual trauma, safe to read again once to see the "~~~")

he told rayla about how in the zoo, due to how difficult it was to get bird hybrids, that they would often be forced to have children once they reached 18 years of age. he would never get to meet his children and he never, ever wanted to have sex ever again. not after that. and, once again, hes only 20.

hes struggles with the feeling of being touched at all by someone he barely/doesnt know, and hates it so much.

~~~

aaaaand thats about it (the above part, while it is important to his character, it isnt necessary to know so dw!!!). yeah mans has been through stuff. i could go on a whole other tangent about rayla and how her problems are but it is nearly 11:40 at night and i am TIRED. he has a lot of problems i dont know why i did this to him but WHATEVER. i love rayla though fr so i might add onto this post tomorrow about her lmao.

ANYWAYS THANK YOU FOR ASKING RAHHHHHHHH

[pretty-ichor]

i cannot fully verbalize all the ways my burnout fucked me up. i was losing a lot of functions scarily fast. i "rested" for a bit and then pulled myself even harder to graduate and i did end up graduating. now i need to grow up. it feels unfair, i lost the majority of my life to mental illness. i didnt get to do it right. i need to get a job or some way to make money. that makes it real though, that means that i officially lost being a child and i can never go back and i just missed out on fucking everything. i keep trying to linger on for just a little longer but i cant

i was never good at caring about my life. it doesnt come naturally to me. i want to want to give a shit, it just takes everything in me to do so. i feel i cant function without having a suicide date. death has been my only real motivation for ages. death is comforting. not being actively suicidal feels almost wrong because of just how foreign it is. i planned out my death a thousand times and i never really planned just staying alive. i dont know what i want to do, i dont know what i can do or what i even like doing. i was just barely surviving and now i have to do all this shit. i have to provide for myself, and all the things i wanted to do are no longer in the distant future, i could get to them if i could function. that makes me feel like more of a failure because i am not functioning

[wwwbestgoredotcom]

"I don't care if I can't touch you."

Warnings / insecurities, sadness, soft arguing, fear, comforting

Pairings / sensei/reader (romantic), Shiva/reader (platonic)

Show/series / the girl from the other side

Genre / angst, fluff,

Writing style / oneshot

"You're going to get my jacket dirty."

He spoke out, in a seemingly monotone voice.

"I am not."

You replied, giving him a side eye.

You two continued to cook, he wore the light pink apron he has and you wore his trench coat, jacket thing. Shiva wasn't awake yet. Telling by the light outside, it was still pretty early. You noticed how he was struggling to flip the pancake he was working on. He was a good cook, but he was still a little flimsy in some areas. You reached over to grab his hand to guide him in the process.

"Dont.."

There was a pause. You pulled your hand away.

"..touch me"

You looked at him, a hint of sadness in your eyes. He softened his gaze. He mumbled a quick sorry and flipped his pancake. Shiva walks into the kitchen, yawning. She says good morning to both you and your lover and sits down at the table. Even after his small outburst, everytime you look at him, there seems to practically be hearts in your eyes. And in his too.

You and Shiva were that only thing that kept his dying soul living. After he was cursed, and after he forgot the family he use to have, if he even had one, he thought he could never find happiness. Then he found you. And then he found Shiva. The two of you made him feel...normal again.

He served the pancakes to Shiva, who was grinning ear to ear. You stood behind the tall being, softly smiling at the little girl's happiness. Your lover sat across Shiva. You carried his and the girl's tea and set them down near Shivas plate and your lover. He didn't have to eat, ever since his curse started. He couldn't do most things humans need to do in order to survive.

...

"And they lived happily ever after."

He closed the book, and checked if Shiva had fallen asleep. She didn't. She could never seem to fall asleep to "Beauty and The Beast".

"Just like you and mama(or papa)."

Shiva says with a smile.

"Yes...just like me and mama(or papa). Now go to bed, Shiva, it's getting late."

He said, pulling her blanket up to her shoulders.

They said their goodnights and he walked out of the room and into your shared bedroom. The other bedroom he made when he cleaned up the place. You held the little box in your hands when your lover walked in. You quickly hid the box behind your back and gave him and smile. His eyes showed his smile back.

"I have something for you."

You say in a sing-song voice.

Your lover tilted his head, letting out a "hm?". You gave him the box. It looked so much smaller in his hands. He opened it and revealed a folded pair of gloves, seemly hand sewn. He looks up at you.

"I know how badly you want physical contact. I read about how to sew a while ago. These gloves will make sure that even if you touch me or Shiva, we will not be harmed."

You said smiling, now standing directly in front of him.

He took the gloves from the box. They were black, to match him. He places the box on a nearby shelf, and slips the gloves on. He sits down on the bed, his eyes glued to his hands. You join him on the bed shortly after. He looks at you, then back at his hands, and then back at you. He slowly reaches out to touch your face. You lean in and melt into his hands. You kissed his gloved palm. That was basically his first kiss.

"Maybe Shiva was right..."

He says quietly.

"Hm?"

You respond.

"We are like beauty and the beast. The beauty cured the beast's curse."

His eyes showed a smile.

"I love you."

You say.

You reach for his face. He pulls your hands away and scoots away from you.

"You can't touch me, darling, remember"

He says almost in a sad voice.

"God dammit, I don't care if I can't touch you!"

You exclaimed.

Before he can reach or say anything else, you touch his face with your bare hands. You kiss him right under the small dip in his face. He panics. He loved that kiss. He loved you. He didn't want you to get cursed. He was silent. Nothing was happening. You weren't turning black. You weren't in pain. You were looking at him with love in your eyes. How could you love someone like him. You saw the sadness in his eyes and hugged him. He could finally hug you back. He was clinging onto your back for dear life.

"I don't want you to go..."

His voice cracks.

"I'm not going anywhere..."

You reply.

"How could you love someone like me?"

He says quietly as he stares at the flickering candle. You fix your nightgown (or pajamas).

"Dont say that. You're better than anyone else in this world. You're perfect, dear. Even without a name. A purpose. A soul. I love you. I want your love. And life. Everything about you is perfect."

You spilled out your heart.

"I'm not perfect, I'm cursed [your nickname]."

He spits out, sad venom lacing his words.

"I don't care. I love you."

You kiss him in the same spot again.

He loved you. A lot. That family he thinks he use to have. He wants to have that same family, but with you. The sleep you two got was heavenly, now knowing you can touch him. Sadly Shiva can't. But one day she will. You believe that. And he did to.

A/n / I'm a sad sad person. Anyways um hope you enjoyed I didn't proofread.

[berry-hwa]

Well well well. Look who returns

WITH A PART 2 OF THE MERMAID AU FANFIC!!! im still not sure if ill continue this. I have a lotta stuff going on. I dont think my brain needs any more plotting and thinking about a fictional idea. Thx. This is more of a lore and info dump that i wanted to elaborate on and because of that it also isnt as long as the first part butt to be fair i planned to cut that down to 2 parts sooo...anyway. Enjoy!!

"Is that enough proof for you, Ichinomiya?"

His bewildered face was very telling. But he actually quickly looked away and closed his eyes, as did the others in panic.

"Okay, okay— cover up, I didn't ask to look at your bare chest."

Her bare chest...?

"...Oh. Right." She looked down at herself. Her transformation didn't give her any more than a tail since it was her true, unadjusted form — so she was left topless. She didn't understand why her tail couldn't just grow from underneath her clothes. "My apologies."

"Gosh, these tails you guys have are so heavy...!" Baba adjusted his hold on her, hoisting her up. She knew he was pretty strong, so the weight of her really must've been something. Or, alternatively, could've been his age catching up to him.

"Actually," she raised her hand, slowly collecting all the water up from her person droplet by droplet, returning it all back into the glass as she transformed back into her human form, "siren tails are usually much lighter than normal mermaid ones, even with how long they are." She explained, looking to Baba to let go of her.

Soryu coughed as he looked back at her human form...with less to reveal this time, "Well...you wouldn't be wrong about that," Eisuke looked over at him with a questioning glare, "why is that though?"

She stared at the man, wondering how to explain this to him and the others.

"Well, sirens evolved to be deft and quick in order to efficiently capture their prey. Their tails are longer and lighter to aid in swimming and their fins have little to no drag under water, to maximize speed. Very much not like the tail of mine which you saw." She quickly answered. And she had to stare at the men's faces, who didn't utter a word in response. Eisuke however, seemed to be really taking everything in.

"...Huh. You really know a lot about this stuff, huh." Baba looked at her after taking a seat next to Eisuke.

"Well, I was born at sea, this is common knowledge to us all. Not to ordinary people, nor to ordinary people with unexplained tails, though." She crossed her arms, locking eyes with Eisuke.

"...Now that I've proved myself," She continued, returning to her task at hand, "any questions you might have?"

Eisuke blinked at her, visibly still puzzled. Did she not give him enough information? Was he going to reject her plea?

"...How am I even supposed to help you and your people?" He began, staring at her very incredulously, "you say I am a siren but I don't know what new information that knowledge gives me."

Goodness. Had he never heard of a siren and what one does? It could explain his cluelessness, though.

"Sirens preyed on sailors by luring them in with their voice and song and dragged them under the sea when they'd get close enough to attack. What do you think you have those fangs for?" She exclaimed, pointing at his mouth, "They certainly aren't meant to be for consuming fish."

Eisuke blinked. He sure was very clueless, huh?

"...I'm supposed to be preying on humans?"

"Just think of it as a food chain. Sirens need to survive too, you know." He blinked even more at that.

"Why were you looking for me throughout these years? Are there no other sirens like me out there?"

"If there were, do you think I'd be standing in front of you now?" She crossed her arms again, raising an eyebrow at him.

"No?" He answered, seemingly thinking to himself.

"Correct." She sighed, looking at the glass full of water. She missed home. "Sirens have been going extinct for decades. If there are any remaining still, they choose to seclude themselves deep under the sea, not even daring to look at the sun above — those sirens live off of the creatures that lurk deep in the oceans, until they eventually reach the end of their lives."

"...Interesting bit of information." Baba interrupted, probably aiming to lighten up the atmosphere a bit. She can't say it worked.

"I've desperately tried to find them myself...but mermaids aren't fit enough to be so close to the ocean floor. Its one of the reasons we can't relocate under the sea and why humans keep finding us." All those days she spent trying to reach as deep as she could before her body couldn't stand any more pressure, before the ocean became so dark she could barely keep on swimming, all in vain. Her last hope in the end was but a siren-turned, ordinary human man.

"So I'm your only chance as of now."

"...Yes, you are." It was actually a bit pathetic to admit that now.

She stared at him as his gaze lowered. This was a lot of information to take in but she hoped he was at least a bit sympathetic of her situation and could offer some assistance in any way. She'd understand if preying on humans wouldn't end up on Eisuke's to-do list.

"Your explanation does give some understanding as to why so many foods have become so unappetizing over the years, if it's not the required diet for...sirens..." Eisuke muttered, deep in thought she presumed. "And everything you've said and...shown here, as insane as it all may sound, seems...true."

"Aren't ya fast to believe her, mister siren." The detective chimed in, getting up from his spot near the window and making way to the group.

"I don't need your commentary over here."

"Would your dick fall off if you were a little nicer to your acquaintances?"

"...pfft-"

"Hey! Who are you to be speaking to me with such words?" Eisuke was very clearly fuming, no doubt a reflection of the power he gained with his transformation. "Watch your mouth or I won't even consider aiding you."

Ugh. How annoying.

"Fine, fine. I'll do my best." For her family.

"Actually, go back to the "who are you"," Baba interrupted suddenly, "is your name actually Misaki? I feel like I got really bamboozled today so I wanna make sure..."

Ah, right, the fake name she gave him and Ota...speaking of, the artist hadn't said a word this whole time. Actually, his whole behavior seemed a bit...off, not very much like him at all, she noted.

"I lied about that. My name is actually Mira." Obviously she picked the first name she thought of but it wasn't a coincidence that she had picked a similar sounding name to the one her family gave her.

"...You said you were from Britain, but you speak perfect Japanese...how is that possible?" Baba questioned. Quite the curiosity he had.

"Well...to clarify, I'm not from Britain, I was born in the sea surrounding the land, but I know some english because I was forced to live above land after my family was taken away."

"Taken away?"

"Killed." Admitting that hurt. "I knew I had to find you after your transformation, so I began to learn japanese in hopes of coming here one day and confronting you."

"You really held out hope that I would be generous enough to help you, huh." Eisuke locked eyes with her, his gaze fierce.

"Was I not supposed to?" She mirrored the fierce gaze of his and narrowed her eyebrows, daring to question him. He could choose to rip her apart right then and there but did she care?...not that much. She had nothing to lose.

"Just saying you might've wasted your time and my money."

Lovely.

"...So is that a flat-out no?" She muttered, already feeling dejected.

"I need to think it over some more..." She breathed a heavy sigh, preparing herself for disappointment, "but, only while you work under me."

What.

"Wha...?" She looked at him in disbelief.

"Riiight...about that!" Baba interrupted once more. "Remember how we bought you back there? Yeah...there's no way we're letting you go back out in the wild just like that. I'd argue its for our safety but with all that you've told us, it'd be best for you too!" Did he just attempt to flirt with her amidst that???

"...Okay...and if I stay here, I need to work?"

"Obviously." Double lovely.

She frowned, going over her options. Baba was right even while trying to swoon her, since she was sought after, she couldn't guarantee her safety in the ocean, nor could she stay in touch with Eisuke — and of course, they'd want to keep an eye on her after she witnessed such an auction in the hotel depths.

So really, her only hope was to stay with these strange men for the time being — in exchange for Eisuke's potential partnership.

"What do you say then?"

She sighed once more.

"I'll stay."

Such simple words could never make her think they would change her life overnight.

*************

In the quiet of the night, the angelic artist locks the door behind him as he processes all he heard from the woman, who had now been placed in the room next to his own. Standing frozen against said door, he feared he had zoned out at some point in her talking, but one thing was very clear to him anyway.

He wasn't normal.

And it made him worry.

[dayundying]

can you tell us more about nort please im so curious about him :)

NANA I LOVE YOU YOU ARE MY BESTEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.

Um um ok for starters his name is Nort, obvs! And it is just straight up his name, im sure in character, to Nort his name is meaningful and important but to me? Nort just struck my mind! Im pretty sure it was inspired by Norm from PaF which haha is fitting cause Nort is my owb poster child, robots!!! Haha. Although it also makes me sad because my first fallout oc was named Norman actually... but he wasnt named after norm he was named because he was a normal man ANYWAHS NOT IMPORTANT.

He uses solely he/him and basically ONLY presents masculinely but like ive SOMEWHAT expressed before he feels kind of weird about gender simply because well, human gender is so human and he really hates being human, he does not feel male at all, but defintely not female, im not sure if hed know the term nonbinary but its him and he would be it (nort LOVES transgenderism.)

The topic of how he feels about gender i think is a good segway to whatever he has going on in the sexuality department, i feel like hes defintely had relationships in the past and has and does feel attraction for other people but after the whole getting shot in the head nd getting to affirm his person and ideals he hates himself for feeling that, he hates all of his human desires and needs, he stuffs basically all of his feelings like so far down deep. So what he is with that label??? Agh idk lol. Hed loooooove to be nonbinary but he gives no shit to label anything else

Now! What IS up with his beliefs? Well at first I envisioned him as a avid transhumanist but then when i actually made him my idea for him as a nerd went out the window and he became totally tough and gruff, he still is a transhumanist and believes in it very much, but he is also incredibly survival of the fittest thinking if that makes sense (i want to say he believes in survivalism but i realized the actual definition of it sounds dumb.) I kind of think of it like this: he is incredibly trusting in machines and technology, but due to the wasteland being the way it is, he cant just be a robot like he very much wants to be, he cant have robot arms and put chips in his skin, he has to be the human he was born as, and eat and drink and fight, so yknow, he does.

Idk, hes barely 2 days old, hes still being developed, this stuff IS subject to change

But i am not done!!!

Deciding how my ocs feel about stuff is great, i will never skip out on explaining their opinions on factionsss <3

Hoof, looking them up, i realize theres more factions in nv then i thought there were...Ill get into his opinion on the more minor factions another time cause id TOTES love to, but i think right now the main stuff is supes important!

He LOVES mr house, er like, his politics wise, he sits and nods to everything he says and thinks because he simply completely agrees.

Thinks the ncr are some bunch of cowards, he does have a personal intrigue with how its set up though. Sometimes he daydreams about if he was in charge of all of the ncr, the changes hed make.

He doesnt think an independent new vegas would survive at all and does not support it. He simply believes itd just crumble and cave into itself !

Similar to how he feels about the ncr, he alsp has intrigue with the legion, but hates its lack of progressiveness and movement, i dont think he believes he could save it, just one of those things hell certain will just blow away into the sands of nevada, as weird history of that one time that happened.

[digitalintelligigencearchive]

Owen, I heard about the rat infestation. I'm so sorry, I don't know how they got there! I swear I've been cleaning regularly and keeping up your maintenance. I really am sorry, I'll double my shifts and come in more regularly, if that's okay with you?

It's odd, the rats shouldn't have been able to live in here. There's no food or water except for... the bare minimum for the agent to survive...

[Looks around, eventually coming across a hole in the wall right next to the room where Agent Curt Mega is kept. He has been feeding the rats.]

Oh. Oh. Uh... okay. I'll chain him up so he can't do any more damage to you. You know, I wasn't sure about the torture thing--I'm not really one for violence--but now I get it. He's killed you already, and now he nearly did it again? I dont even care if it was purposeful or not, he could have killed you permanently. I've never been this angry before. You were right, Owen. He really does deserve everything you do to him.

Oh, God. This was my fault. I brought him to you. I know hurting him has been the highlight of your time here, but I still almost caused your permanent death--again. I understand if you never want to see me again. I can request a team of live-in engineers to attend to your needs if that's what it takes. Or if you don't want me to leave, I'll work harder than ever and transfer here full-time. I'll make sure this never happens again. I swear it on your grave.

On the bright side, though, our scientists have figured out the formula to the stem cells! This way, we can keep people alive for as long as necessary. It could extend someone's lifespan almost indefinitely! I've, um... already arranged for some to be sent to you. I know you didn't ask for them, but I figured you'd want to keep the agent alive, and with these stem cells you could bring him back from the brink of death... pretty much forever. Huh. This is weird, usually I'd feel sick thinking of this. Now all I feel is anticipation.

He should have known better than to hurt my friend.

-🧹

Thank you for your help, question the rest of my maintenance team about letting this happen, I don't need anyone that isn't taking their job seriously around the server room.

I'm ecstatic about the new development! oh the horror of staying alive

I think the research team might want to know that this specimen might not originate from this universe though, just something to research further.

Oh

And what did we say about calling me a friend?

[laffy-taffy-creations]

Day 1 of whumptober!

This fic was cross-posted on Ao3 here

Just One Day

Safety Net | Swooning | "How many fingers am I holding up?"

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Words: 1,040

Warnings: sickness, overexertion, self-hatred, human experiments, broken promises, adultification of a minor, child abuse

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, uhhh…3?” someone asked.

I turned. “Oh, hey 7. What’s up?”

“9 sent me to see you. Whatcha doing?”

“Fixing the home remedy for tonight’s batch of allergic reactions. Our stupid ‘caretakers’ decided that fish sticks would be a brilliant choice of dinner despite at least 170 of the nearly 300 of us being allergic to fish or the oil the use to fry shit.”

“Really?”

I scoffed, “I know right? You’d think they’d realize what a bad idea that is.”

“No,” she said, “I mean you know how to combat allergic reactions?”

I looked at her confused. “Yeah, I’ve been the one making the remedies for everyone since being chosen as an experiment… did you really not know this?”

“I mean, I knew someone was making them, but I figured it would be one of the adults, not… you… do you even have allergies?”

“No, but that doesn’t really matter?”

She was stunned. “3. You’re 11. Are you trying to tell me that ontop of caring for literally every person in this facility, teaching everyone Japanese, making sure we’re all safe and that fights dont break out, keeping us educated as possible, ensuring we all make it to sleep at night and tending to the other kids teens and sometimes adults that have issues sleeping, you’ve also been the person keeping track of allergies and making the drinks infused with whatever it is that keep allergies from being life threatening?”

“Uhhhh, yeah? Why is that so confusing to you?”

“3! You’re 11 for crying out loud! Are you trying to tell me you’ve been single-handedly taking care of everyone in every aspect imaginable SINCE YOU WERE NINE?!?!?!”

“7. Calm down.”

“I will NOT! You’re a fucking fifth grader taking care of nearly 300 people on your own!”

“And I’ve been doing that job just fine for 2 years.”

“3-”

“Sayovai.”

“No, I dont wanna hear it, what the actual fuck 3?-”

“Sayovai.”

“You cant be serious, I mean-”

“SAYOVAI! YEHLISA UMOYA!”

She finally paused.

“I am fine. You are fine. I am doing what I have to so we can all survive here, I’m our safety net. Ngicela ungithembe nje, kulungile?”

She took a deep breath and nodded. “Fine. So long as you promise awuzicindezeli… you can promise me that, akunjalo?”

I laughed a bit. “Yebo, ngiyathembisa.”

“Good.”

----《 ¤ 》----

I tried to keep my promise.

----《 ¤ 》----

“3, you doing good?” Max asked me.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I think, just a mild sickness…”

He paused. “Go back to your room.”

“What?”

“Go back to your room. If you’re sick right now, you have to go rest.”

I protested, “I’m fine Max! It’s just a mild sickness of some sort…”

“OV, if you could see yourself right now, you’d know damn well this isn’t ‘mild sickness’.”

I scoffed.

“You’re barely walking right now.”

“Liar.”

“I’m not lying, I-! Actually, you know what, stay right fucking there, I’m getting 9.”

“Okay, but I’m telling you, it’s not that bad.”

I waited for a while.

They finally returned but… Was I on the floor now? When had that happened?

There was some noise, it was faint. Like someone was calling to me. I saw what looked like a hand in front of me. I made some sort of noise, trying to respond. I felt like I should be panicking, but I had too little energy.

Next thing I knew, I was off the ground. Was someone carrying me? Everything was blurry. I could barely keep my eyes open.

Then it was soft.

Incredibly soft. I recognized the feeling of a bed.

I melted into the dark surrounding me. Eventually my hearing cleared. And I was able to open my eyes again.

“3? 3 are you awake?” I heard.

“Mmmmmm…”

“Hey, hey! Dont fall asleep again! Look at me,” it sounded like Relena.

I opened my eyes and weakly pushed myself up. This whole situation was so vague in my memory… I feel like I have something to do…

“Hey, 3, look at me. How many fingers am I holding up?”

I concentrated as best I could. “Mmmm…. Four?” I guessed.

She sighed and put her hand down, “No OV… Just rest, I’ll take care of today. You’re too out of it to do anything right now.”

That jogged my mind a bit. There’s… a lot of us… in the building… I’m meant to be taking care of us… I’m meant to be taking care of us!

I instantly started to get out of bed and was just as instantly pushed back into in. “No 3! You stay here!”

“I’m meant to… be taking care of… the others right now!” I slurred.

“No! I’m taking care of the others today! You’re sick!”

My vision started getting blurry again and I could feel a tightening in my throat. “But I-"

“But nothing! Rest!”

I felt something warm go down my cheek. “I’m supposed to- I’m our safety net! If I’m not there and something really bad happens-”

“We’ll take care of it! There’s more people than just you here, 3. If things really go wrong, we’ll figure it out.”

I was starting to have some trouble breathing. Crying. That’s what’s happening. I’m sobbing.

“But- the, the others-”

“Vee, I can take over for a day. It’s one day. You’re usually our safety net. Let us be yours.”

She lifted my mask and wiped away my tears. “We’ll be fine. Just take a break. You’ve already done way too much for your age. Just one day, okay?”

I nodded as best I could. I ended up crying myself back to sleep. Even after waking up again, this time alone in my room, I couldn’t shake the feeling I’d somehow failed everyone.

It should’ve been fine. I should’ve been able to handle it. It’s my job to take care of the others. Today shouldn’t have been any different.

“Hey, 3, you awake in here?” someone called from the doorway after a while, pulling me from my thoughts.

“Hm? Oh, yeah, what is it Agno?”

“Dinnertime. C’mon, join us. We missed you today.”

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a bit, just gimmie a moment.”

You shouldn’t have missed me today. Because I should’ve been there. I should’ve been there.

[universecity-podcast]

Hello, I hope somebody is listening

Oh old sport, I give you rules on how to survive in the City all the time, but did you ever truly question them? If you did, you will see they make no sense. Rule #7 and rule #12 are complete opposites. And do you know why?

Because, even if I tell you what to do, I dont have the recipe for being lucky. Thats all I've ever been really. Lucky. I have no skills, no idea on how to actually not get catched by the Cyborgs. All I can tell you is to trust your gut and pray that you're right.

I'm slowly losing toulouse, old sport. She and I... we are having troubles. She doesn't like the way I live in Universe City. And I can't stand her way of being. But we sort of have to stick together, right? Who else do we have? Both of us might have partners and informants, but Codey isn't contacting me and my informants barely have anything useful. The only ones who could perhaps help are Ouranus and Feline.

Last week, I went out with Ouranus. We stole from a few shops, set a house on fire and went undercover on sort of a party place. There were rollercoaster and lots of people. It was nearly impossible to find random people there.

We knew that the Zycrepts who had watched the shops knew how our disguises looked, but lucky me having 2 more with me. In the end, we didnt get catched, even after they stormed the party. As I said, old sport, it's all about luck. If we wouldnt have gotten away before the robots could scan us, we'd be dead.

I don't really trust Codey tho... He can be my boyfriend all he wants, but without contacting me there's no way we can work together, or that I give him any information. I am already attaching to him, and he is distancing himself. As always. Thats the reason none of you should attach. People will distance themselves from you, and you will be too broken to focus on actually surviving.

Today, the goverment registers everyone in the city. You better wish me luck that they won't find me, and if they do, buy my fake I.D. The last thing I need right now is to be chased by the goverment. I've got enough on my plate with Toulouse, Codey and running these accounts.

I'll keep you updated, old sport. Don't lose your mind!

Radio Silence out.

[mokadevs]

Recently finished fgo’s olympus so here are some bleary unorganized thoughts on it and my frustrations before i drift off to sleep

i think my biggest problem with olympus is that it over promises.

I think that the set up is amazing. Not referring to atlantis, though atlantis was great as everyone and their mother has said, but the whole sequence of a) entering olympus and b) exploring olympus is incredible. I think its one of the peak examples of fgo constantly being able to make you feel like their are Actual stakes in the narrative despite you as a player knowing that the tree will inevitably be cut and you’ll see the cosmos denied screen flash by again. Running through the city

Hell, Demeter’s entire entrance was bone chilling. I think she has the best mech design of the olympus gods in my biased opinion, and seeing her drop down before the animated screech she lets out that destroys the city was incredible. Truly the first time i saw it i went Holy Shit.

Then… i wont say the lostbelt flops after that but there were a few key areas that it left me wanting.

Personal preference out of the way, ill say the constant deus ex machinas - whether it be for the good guys or the bad guys (if the bad guy has a deus ex machina, is it called that?? Anyway) - started to get a little irritating after a while. The stakes were so, so high at the start, and demeters victory felt so barely clawed for with so many bits and pieces coming together that certain other fights felt like. “Well, okay then.” The twins revealing caligula and then saying “we didnt wanna say we had him for dramatic effect!” was really eye roll worthy, for example, and to be honest i dont really understand how we were able to shmoove our way out of aphrodites mind control hellscape, which was annoying after again i loved demeters fight So much

ill note there that these are things that didnt work for ME, in MY OPINION im sure other people feel other ways about it and i am happy for them for it :]

I think that parts of the lostbelt felt… rushed, and i didnt feel like the power scaling of chaldea matched narratively. With how much trouble we had for a single fighter at the start, i felt like in universe things got too easy with too little justification.

I was really disappointed with dioscuris writing, and also weirded out by the fact that there were twin humans and twin gods but very little was drawn about their connection…?? I was so certain that they would have some sort of relationship, or at least a cool narrative foil, but all we got was the twin humans hating the dioscuri because they killed their friends, and a cheap line about adele criticizing the girl twin for always following what her brother said.

I feel mixed about chaos, because in the moment i was emotionally moved but in retrospect it feels like a bit of a cheap non-foreshadowed reason for musashi to die epicly. Though maybe it was foreshadowed and i missed it; ill have to reread, but for now it just feels Too out of the blue to feel good.

But i think the thing that i think i disliked the most was “actually zeus was going to fuck off in the end and abandon the humans here letting them die so this lostbelt was evil from the start and gudako is objevtively right for this”

And like. Thats so AGGRAVATING for the lostbelt that was drummed up to be the one that would give us the most trouble, the lostbelt that was supposed to be the model one.

What i really wanted out of this lostbelt was a lostbelt that was objectively better than earth. That really? The only reason we could justify destroying it was for our own survival. Not because the lostbelt was in some way flawed, but because we have no other choice. With how sickly killing the first lostbelt felt, i really wanted lostbelt 5 to blow me out of the park with the emotional weight of killing a world and it just. didnt even try. It threw in some half assed line about why this lostbelt was well and truly evil

Which like! Honestly if it had been done well enough i couldve been fine with, couldve been happy with. But the twist that zeus actually was going to fuck off? That chaos was going to destroy all the humans anyway?? That zeus brainwashed the other gods to his side anyway????? I felt zero sympathy in destroying this lostbelt and i wanted to, SO badly

And i am All Here for a more in depth take on how humans have twisted robots into gods. How these ronots thought they could love humans but didnt hold the capacity for it!!! Honestly that concept is super cool!! I liked it!!! But like. The way it was delivered left a bad taste in my mouth. I wanted to care more about the tragedy it had wrought.

I wish that zeus’ defeat was something like… in attempting to defeat zeus, chaldea accidentally/maybe on purpose? Endangers the people of olympus. And through the motions of protecting them, zeus burns and falls to ruin. And as he lays there, he realizes that as much as he wants to care for these people hes protecting, he doesnt. And hes dying for what he feels is nothing.

If i put more thought to it i could come up with more ways the god plotline couldve been bettered on. But like. A third act twist where the reader is reassured that this lostbelt is undeniably evil is really one of the worst options they couldve taken at that point. Basically everything else i can forgive but that felt really sour in my mouth

And finally . I loved kirschtania and caenis i did cry. I could say more on them but itd be fairly incoherent especially when im this tired. Just know that i really really like them