#i am. not a big boy group girlie but i did try to include more bg stuff for them :P

[happi-tree]

Even though I don’t know a thing about K-pop i am slowly getting getting obsessed with the swiftli au

Aaaaaaaa I'm glad you like it so far, Stingrae!!! Also idk what kind of vibe you go for music-wise, but this ask inspired me to make a little playlist for the au and I thought I'd put it here if you'd like to take a peek! I think there's a little variety in here hehe :]c Lmk if you listen or like any of 'em!

[inkandpen22]

Permanent Chaos (4/?)

Pairing: MGK x Female!Reader

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: mild swearing, mentions of underage drinking 

Part Summary: Sam hosts a party and Y/N makes a not-so-great acquaintance of a certain rock star.

Masterlist

Sam’s house is filled with people. I know the majority of the partiers, the rest I can recognize from whatever field of entertainment they’re in. The music is blasting over the speakers and the voices fill the remaining space.

I search around for him. I manage to find him in the family room on the couch. He’s chatting with a group of people, including Penelope. I make my way over, shuffling between bodies. When I appear out from within the crowd, Sam gleams.

“You made it!”

“I did!” I giggle.

We hug and he introduces me to the girl beside him. “Y/N, this is Cara.”

As if I don't know who Cara Delevigne is, I may be busy but I don't live on Mars. I smile at her kindly. “Nice to meet you!”

“You too! I’m a huge fan of your work on TSL!” She gushes, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

The Seasons of Life is often shortened to TSL, just a side note.

Cara’s accent is so pretty! She’s already a model then she has to have a British accent as if she wasn’t perfect enough!

“Aw, thank you so much!”

Sam slips by me. “I’m going to go get us a drink!”

"Oh wait, Sam!"

“I know what to do!” He shouts back without stopping. I should know better. With how much time we spend together, he would know my order.

“That kid,” I sigh to Penelope and Cara.

The two giggle and we go on to talk about this and that. Fun enough, Cara leaves for Paris tomorrow for a fashion show. Must be exciting to travel so often and to wear the most amazing clothes. She’s quite funny. Her personality is so vibrant and warm. I can see us being good friends.

A loud voice echoes through the house and the three of us look toward the archway to see who it’s coming from. Bodies block the view so I turn my attention back to the girls. Penelope and I discuss the photoshoot in two days and Cara talks about her experiences with Vanity Fair.

“Hey, Cara!” A voice greets behind me.

I don't turn around, but I can feel their energy hovering over me. They shuffle to stand right beside me. I glance up, but can't recognize them.

Cara stands up to hug them. “Good to see you! How are you?” She keeps him in an embrace.

“Great, great!” The guy, who’s back is to me for some reason seems familiar. I can’t quite put my finger on it.

“You know Sam?” She questions as they part.

“Not really, I came with a few friends.”

I look over at Penelope for a hint as to who it could be. She shrugs and watches the two interact.

“Speaking of, have you seen him? I should say hi.” The man asks.

“He went to the kitchen to get a drink for him and Y/N.”

The man turns around and he peers down at me on the couch. I should’ve guessed it… MGK. The hair and a million tattoos should've been a dead giveaway. That bright blonde mess of a hairstyle.

“Colson, this is Y/N Voss,” Cara introduces us.

He glances down at me with a smile. “We’ve met actually,” he claims.

My head tilts, I can’t recall when we've met properly.

“Today after I performed on James’s show,” he describes, towering over me.

“Oh! Awesome!” Cara sits back down next to me.

All I can do is stare at Colson in confusion. “If you count glancing at one another from across the room once as meeting,” I reply a bit snarky.

He gives me a toothy grin and eases down onto the cushion ottoman right across from me. “It was more than one glance,” he argues.

“You would know, you’re the one that never looked away," I fire back.

Cara and Penelope exchange a glance, snicker, then leave the scene together. They offer their goodbye before giggling away. They're smart.

Colson seems to have not noticed or at least doesn’t care. He moves to take Cara's spot on the cushion next to me. “You would’ve had to been looking to have noticed that I never looked away.”

My head rolls back, with a mocking laugh. “Well aren’t you a genius!”

He rests his arm on the back of the couch behind me. “I like to think so.”

“One vodka tonic.” Sam interrupts, holding out my drink.

I take it bitterly. "Thanks."

“Sam huh?” Colson stands up and the two shake hands. “I’m Colson, nice to officially meet you, man!”

Sam treats him like an old friend which annoys the heck out of me. Colson so far has only shown his arrogance to me. “You too! Great seeing you today at the show. Your performance was amazing.”

“Thanks, your interview was hilarious!” Colson fakes charming better than some actors.

“You watched?” Sam asks.

“Yeah, I stuck around just off-camera. You two are great!”

Watching these two talk each other up is a bromance waiting to happen.

Sam gestures to me with his glass. “Y/N here is the real comedian. There’s never a dull moment with her."

“I'm sure.” Colson peers down at me with a bright smile. "We’ve only just met and she’s already sparked a debate with me.”

I narrow my eyes at Colson, what’s he trying to start?

Sam settles down on the ottoman where Colson was. “What about?” He is all for the conversation and is jumping headfirst into the tiff between us.

Colson smiles but I see the mischief in his eyes.

“It wasn’t a debate” I rise to my feet in front of the boys. “If you would excuse.” I step away from the couch a little irked.

“Oh come on now Baby, I’m only joking,” Colson calls not bothered.

“Oh no,” Sam laughs behind me. “Best not call her that or any pet names for that matter. She hates them!”

I don’t even acknowledge them on my walk out of the room. Cocky, annoying, ugh! It’s been maybe five minutes and he’s already managed to irritate me. Maybe all the things they write in the tabloids about him are true. A spoiled, arrogant, womanizing jerk. A piece of the worst parts of the industry. I'm going to go find the girls and stay far away from Colson Baker.

________________________________________

On the set of the Vanity Fair shoot, the atmosphere is lively and carefree. The theme is an 80’s vintage style and since it’s coming back the magazine is mixing old with the new. Sam and I are in an old-fashioned record store and it’s wicked! The walls are teal and remind me of an old Taco Bell. There are rows and rows of just vinyl records. My hair is teased in an 80’s rock band kind of hairstyle. 80s music has been playing on set all morning to set the mood. I'm living for it!

A lady approaches me with a huge light wash denim jacket.

“No way! I get to wear this!” I gush.

She helps me put it on and I’m dying from how awesome this shoot is.

I immediately go to Sam's trailer. “Sam! I’m rocking the denim on denim look!” I show off my high-waisted light wash denim shorts with a black bulky leather belt around my waist.

He laughs. “I appreciate the denim on denim but I have to say my favorite part is the old Bon Jovi T.”

The photographer, Adam, comes up with this brilliant idea for me to stand on the crates of records. Where the two rows in the middle of the store meet, there’s enough room for me to stand. Once I’m up there and I can find the balance in these red heels, they have Sam join me.

“Sam, grab her leg and look up at her as though you’re keeping an eye on her,” Adam instructs.

The camera flashes and between snaps, I change my facial features.

“Good! Good! Let’s get some shots from the counter!”

Sam helps me down from the crates and I hop down. We get a shot of me laying across the counter with a red sucker in my hand and Sam hovering over me. This shoot is incredibly fun and I can’t wait to see the finished product.

Sam and I change outfits and Adam asks if he can get a video for the website and YouTube channel. Of course, we said yes. It’ll be a montage of an interview of us individually and then of us just messing around throughout the store with 80’s music playing in the background. Adam has me sit on an 80’s style floral couch they set up in front of a backdrop in the back room. The whole setup is very comfortable and intimate. Only us, a few lights and a camera with the radio playing. Sam is in makeup and dress for the part of the video of us being candid.

“You can sit however you like!” Adam instructs, meaning I’m sitting too formal with my posture straight and legs crossed. “Act like we’re just hanging out or something.”

I adjust myself and crisscross my legs, slouching a bit.

“Much better!” he compliments, staring down at the camera. He hits up on a stool and positions his camera on the stand. “What’s it like to be on the cover of Vanity Fair?”

“The whole experience is unreal! I remember having a subscription to Teen Vogue growing up. My friends and I loved them!”

“Would you describe your style as modern or classic?”

“Classic for sure!” I gush.

Adam snickers. “What’s your favorite decade for fashion?”

I laugh and gesture down at my outfit. “The 80’s.”

“Does anyone from the 80’s inspire your style in particular?”

I tap the tips of my fingers together and hum. “That’s a toughy! I guess I would have to say Demi Moore for the hair. Specifically, her haircut from About Last Night… that’s where I got the style for my hair actually. Another big one would be Cindy Crawford, such a fashion icon!” I could talk about fashion all day and the icons idolize.

“Heels or sneakers?”

“Depends on the occasion. Sneakers for everyday things, I could never live without my trusty Converse. Yet, I would wear heels if I’m dressing it up a bit.”

"Are you more of a girly-girl or tomboy?”

“People who know me well would say I’m a girly-girl but I also don’t mind downplaying it from time to time. I’ve gotten better lately at relaxing and no being so “on” all the time.”

“Hair up or down?”

“Half up, half down,” I wiggle my eyebrows playfully looking into the camera.

Adam chuckles behind the camera. He changes topics. “You’re from South Carolina originally...”

My heart sinks a little at the mention of home, but I hide behind a smile. “That I am.”

“You haven’t been back in almost a year, do you miss it?”

I play with the ends of my hair, examining my lap. Avoiding the camera lens. I look at anywhere but there. “If I were to miss anything about South Carolina, it would be the gorgeous landscape and southern food."

“You have three siblings, correct?” Adam asks next.

“I do, an older brother and sister, then a younger brother.” I list.

“What do they think about the show and your career?”

I nod. “They support me but the distance is hard. As you said, we haven’t all been together in almost a year.”

“Do you have any plans to go visit home soon?”

I sigh, “sadly no, my work keeps me quite busy.”

The interview goes on and we discuss how my style has evolved since I was a teen starting out in the business. I’ll admit, the topics about home and family sucked. Work and personal life are two separate jobs, my worlds can’t collide. I never bring South Carolina into it.

______________________________________________

After the shoot, I received a call from Cara when we were finishing up the photoshoot. Last night, Cara, Penelope, and I had a blast! I completely forgot about the whole tiff with Colson once I reached them in the kitchen. Since then, we’ve been three peas in a pod. While we were talking on the phone, she invited Sam and me to dinner at The Ivy.

“A small gathering of friends,” she told me and asked for us to be there by seven.

Jump ahead to now and Sam is parallel parking the car. I hop out and wait on the sidewalk for Sam to walk around. Our hands' interlock and the paparazzi take notice of us when people on the sidewalk pull out their phones.

“Y/N! SAM! SAM! OVER HERE!”

“HOW’S FILMING GOING?”

“It’s good to be back on set!” I cover my eyes with my clutch.

“YOUR INTERVIEW WITH JAMES CORDEN WAS GREAT!”

“SOCIAL BLEW UP AFTER THE INTERVIEW!”

Sam asks for the guys to make a path so we can get through without issues. He releases my hand and presses his palm to my lower back protectively.

“WE’VE ALREADY SEEN Cara AND PENELOPE GO IN!”

“A FEW PEOPLE ACTUALLY!”

“ARE YOU ALL MEETING UP?”

“Maybe, maybe not!” I look into one of the video cameras and wink.

The guy behind it gets a hoot out of my expression.

Sam and I reach the restaurant and the men let us go in unbothered.

“WE’LL LEAVE YOU ALONE TO YOUR DINNER!”

“Thanks guys, see you later!” I wave to them and their cameras shoot rapidly.

The noise dies down when we go back further into the restaurant. Sam spots Cara in the back and guides me back there. Tables are lined up in a long row and the majority of the seats are filled.

Cara, cool as a cucumber pulls me into a hug. “Hey Y/N! So glad you two could come!” She sits Sam and me across from each other near the middle. She insisted that I sit by her so we could chat. We get to talking about the Vanity Fair shoot today then she’s pulled away when another guest arrives.

The waitress comes up behind me and requests my drink order.

“I’ll have a sweet tea please.”

“We only serve unsweetened.”

I hate it when they say that. “That’s fine, thank you!” Sam eyes me and I pout about having no sweet tea.

“You realize there’s sugar right here.” He slides me the packets of sugar.

“Yes but it’s not the same. There’s sweet tea at every restaurant where I’m from and I come here boom! Sweet tea is nonexistent!”

"What’s the drink that’s carbonated?” He’s asking to be annoying because the west coast and the midwest disagree on the name.

“Pop!” I glare at him.

“That’s right! Pop! Sounds like you’re saying pot every time.” He laughs at his own joke, finding himself humorous.

“It’s soda by the way," he corrects.

“Uh uh,” I refuse to change my ways, “it’s pop.”

The empty chair next to me slides back and when I glance up to see who’s doing it, an instant headache hits my brain.

Sam greets Colson warmly with a handshake. I shoot Sam another glare. He’s acting neutral but that shouldn’t be a choice in this case. He was my friend first!

Colson removes black Ray-Bans from his face and positions them on top of his head.

“Hello Y/N.” Colson sends me one of his charming grins so many teen girls swoon over.

“Hi,” I reply, not attempting to hide my disinterest. I curve my body away from him and towards Cara, legitly giving him the cold shoulder.

The dinner goes on without a hitch surprisingly, considering the circumstances. Penelope leans down over the back of my chair to say our goodbyes.

I turn around in my chair to face her. “See ya tomorrow.”

“See ya,” she rubs her hand up and down my arm.

She and I exchange kisses on the cheek. “Love you!” We say in unison as we part.

“Later Sam!” She wiggles her fingers at him in a wave.

Sam and I stick around a while longer since Cara and I have gotten into a deep conversation about our shared love for vintage things. A conversation about our collections of records alone went on for twenty minutes. I hadn't noticed that it was just four of us now. Sam and Colson have been talking most of the dinner.

A pair of hands rest on my shoulders and steal my attention away from Cara. “Y/N, you ready to go?” Sam asks.

“We’ll head out too!” Cara announces with her sights directed behind me.

I look over my shoulder and Colson is standing beside Sam. The four of us walking out together… how convenient.

I grab my clutch, sticking close to Sam to dodge Colson.

The four of us walk toward the front of the restaurant and right when we reach the steps leading outside, Cara announces that she forgot her purse.

“I’ll be right back!” She urges us to go on without her.

The cameras waited for us as I assumed they would. They’re capturing every minute of us waiting for Cara.

I place my hand on Sam’s shoulder, “would you go help her?”

“You sure?” His eyes flicker between me and Colson.

“I’ll be fine,” I assure him and he promises he’ll only be a second.

“Go to the car so you aren’t bothered,” he refers to the paparazzi.

“I’ll walk her,” Colson offers.

Sam gives him the go-ahead as he goes off to help in the search for the purse.

I’m left with the one guy I was avoiding. I grip the keys in my hand and walk down the brick steps to the sidewalk. I hear Colson behind me and stop to address him. “I can walk myself to the car.”

He raises his arms mocking a surrender. “I don’t doubt your ability to walk, just helping out.”

“I don’t need your help,” I scoff, starting to walk again.

“I never said you did,” Colson sassily replies.

*Click* *Click* *Click*

A man runs around me to get a photo of me straight on.

“Y/N! Y/N! WALKING IN WITH SAM AND LEAVING WITH MGK, ANY EXPLANATION?”

I pause for a moment, making eye contact with the man behind the camera. Is he honestly trying to start drama? What lies are he going to sell? I’m only going to the car because Sam requested. The only reason Colson is even near me is that he’s so freaking persistent.

I push back the aggravation and force my lips into a kind smile. I can’t have a single moment of weakness. I can’t give in to my emotions like others. “Sam is helping Cara with something inside. Colson was kind enough to walk me to the car.”

“HOW LONG HAVE YOU GUYS KNOWN EACH OTHER?”

I purposefully answer quickly so Colson doesn’t even have the chance to think of a response. “Not long, we met the other day backstage at The Late Late Show. We have a lot of the same friends and had no idea!” I peek over at Colson and he gives me a knowing look. I dismiss it and go on with my charade. I will not let this jerk mess with my career.

“ANY CHANCE OF HAVING COLSON GUEST STAR ON THE SHOW?”

“That would be great!” I lie my butt off, “having more friends on set would be fun!”

“COLSON, HOW’S YOUR NEW ALBUM COMING ALONG?!”

“We’re in the recording stage right now. Should be released sometime this summer," he answers.

“FOLLOWING UP WITH A TOUR?”

“Of course!” he chuckles.

I unlock the car and move around the guys to reach the door.

“WE’LL LET YOU GUYS GO ON. ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR NIGHT!” One of them departs.

“Thank you! You too!” I wave goodbye.

Some stick behind to get a few last pictures but for the most part, they all disburse. The ones remaining, however, keep their distance.

I yank on the handle of the door and Colson holds it for me. As if he's a gentleman. I begin to climb in, prepared to yank it shut in his face.

“Friends huh?” Colson chuckles.

I turn around abruptly and check around the general area of the sidewalk for any cameras. Seems the remainder of the guys have left. I shut the door and Colson removes his hand in a rush.

“No, not friends! I only said that to please the public," I huff.

“Ouch!” he acts offended, placing his hand on his heart. “I did find it interesting that you claimed we met backstage the other day so I was right!” He chuckles, believing he caught me.

“No, no, no, no!" I shut that thought down quickly. "The only reason I made that up was that it’s not good for my image if I admit I was at a party. People tend to assume that heavy drinking and drugs occur at parties. I can’t be associate with that scene!”

“Oh, so it’s alright to lie?” He crosses his arms and snickers, glancing down the street toward the restaurant.

I roll my eyes, of course, he doesn’t understand, why would he? “You don’t get it” I scoff, dismissing him. I turn and reach for the car handle again.

“So what if you were at a party? People drink, if some have a problem with that, that’s their problem. Oh! I forgot! You're America's Sweetheart! The perfect angel princess with a spotless record,” he mocks.

I slam the car door shut, having hit my limit. I keep my voice hush. “It’s not that simple! I'm not like you! I can't be caught partying! If the country, the world, sees the truth then my image is ruined! I've been doing this since I was a teenager! I worked way too hard for far too long to lose everything over a stupid mistake!”

Colson’s face falters from his usual carefree expression to one of seriousness.

“Found it! Let’s go!” Sam announces loudly to the whole block.

I toss him the keys and glance back to Colson who stands there in a stillness I have yet to see from me. His stare makes me want to hide. I feel as though I’m under a microscope being studied.

“Toodaloo Y/N! ‘Till next time my pals!” Cara strolls down the sidewalk.

It’s evident she’s had a couple of drinks. She sways further down the sidewalk and comes to a stop once she notices Colson isn’t following.

“Later Cara!” Sam shouts over the top of the car behind me.

Colson and I stare at each other I’m guessing for different reasons. He appears lost in thought and I’m desperately trying to figure out why. If I look away, I fear he’ll break to pieces or something.

Cara pauses. “Colson? You coming?”

He holds out for a moment but finally breaks eye contact with me. "Yeah."

When I’m no longer staring into those black works of art I regain my ability to move. I hurry into the car and Sam says his goodbyes again over the top of the car. I buckle my seatbelt when he climbs in. Watching strangers walk up and down the sidewalk, I’m perfectly aware of Sam starring me down.

He pulls onto the street. “Are we gonna talk about it or are we doing silence?”

I reach over and turn up the radio.

“Of course you make your own option.” Sam watches me, waiting for some sort of explanation.

We come in at the end of a song and the next one is oh too recognizable. The classic rock sound that is a part of all of Colson’s music plays through the car speakers. His vocals enter the soundwave and I groan loudly over the music before turning off the radio.

"No music then!" I snap.

__________________________________

Masterlist

Tags: @canyoubuymetoast @bri-3530 @asil1652 @andstilltryingtofindmyself @nadia2021 @olafsidehoe @mgkobsessed @fairywriting101 @ferrell-cat @naylanae-0308 @tonystarkswife10 @alexsa5 @brocksbabyyy @stormrider505 @magnificenthumancopangel @sarcasticfangirlus @lilramencup95beech @missyviolet123 @skeleton-gxr @glitterybearllamaflap @margaritaville20 @amoresix @thysagclub

[itoldsunset]

rewatching ipytm episode 2: thoughts

apologies in advance for this very messy, very long bullet scene-by-scene commentary!

summary: this was a very hard episode to watch and rewatch. the frustration with teh is real, the hurt for oh-aew is real. but the fear of change and abandonment, and the fear of admitting your own insecurities, is SO coming of age and i love that we get to see teh grappling with what happens when the idealistic vision you had for your life slowly starts to crumble.

also, this episode (and possibly the entirety of part 2) was 100% the writers' and p'meen's love letter to comm arts students/graduates, and even though i am a total outsider to that world, it really touched my heart to see the diversity of experiences and struggles reflected here.

i love that we see how much closer teh has become with jai and khim!! this doesn't translate in the subs, but i thought it was interesting how teh used respectful pronouns with them when he was a first-year and now for the most part uses rude (familiar) pronouns with them as a second-year, even though they're still technically his seniors. i think it goes to show how close they've become since he first joined the drama club.

goy was so fucking CUTE in that scene when she said "oh, lots of boys are peeking at me, i'm shy" i think i'm in love 😭 also the cinematography of that scene!!

this episode does such a great job at making you feel uncomfortable along with the characters. i hated how uncomfortable teh was at the birthday party, and i could feel how out of place he felt there.

when mangpong talks about how easy it is for celebrities to make money and teh is clearly offended by that and speaks up against it (which results in yet another awkward uncomfortable moment), i feel like he's speaking up on behalf of khim who we later realize is basically his idol and the person he identifies the most with. i feel like p'meen and the writing team are really trying to represent the lives of people who go into communication arts, especially those who go in with an interest in performing arts. and for me that scene with mangpong communicates two things: 1) the defensiveness that comes with having your chosen career path misunderstood or reduced into something that's easy money, and 2) how close-knit and protective the drama club is of each other, because teh speaking up in defense of actors to me feels like he's defending this identity they all share as people who are struggling to make it in the industry.

oh-aew is SO sweet. getting a tattoo that resembles your partner's name gives me so much anxiety, but i guess he's 19 and has always been sure of his feelings so it does make sense for him. at first glance teh's reaction really just makes it sound like he's against tattoos, drinking, all that, like he's super old-fashioned, but it's not REALLY about the tattoo and we learn that later when they have their big fight and he blows up with all the nitpicky little things he's noticed about all the ways oh-aew has changed. i thought it was so cute how au basically showed off his tattoo to open the conversation for oh-aew to show teh his tattoo though. we love a supportive friend group!!!

"this tattoo is pretty. thank you." this is teh being as genuine as he can, as someone who is seriously not in touch with his own feelings and can't understand why he's so upset at oh-aew getting a tattoo. because again it's not the tattoo itself that's the problem, but what it represents for teh, which is oh-aew's world slowly expanding to include people and things that are foreign to teh, and he worries that one day that world won't have a place for him anymore.

drunk oh-aew speaking mandarin, and teh taking care of him!!! the only fluff we got all episode and i will cherish it forever and ever, like the aquarium scene from episode one. the fact that teh brought over the stuffed animal, kissed oh-aew on the forehead, and then decided to sleep over on the floor next to him? making him kimchi jjigae? so soft!! our boy has got a lot of issues to work through but he loves oh-aew for sure.

the scene where oh-aew is receiving feedback on his performance from his professor is so... oof. the fact that his classmate got positive feedback for portraying a gay man in a way that isn't stereotypical (read: masculine? i wonder?) and the fact that oh-aew was critiqued for unsuccessfully portraying the tone and mannerisms of a man who doesn't understand gay people? it's a bit subtler than what we hear from the casting director but i swear it's the same shit. and it really doesn't surprise me at all to see oh-aew not believe in himself and his ability to perform because of it.

teh saying "both of us" and being so excited about their casting opportunity!! 😭 and also, khim being such a sweetheart and helping them get this opportunity in the first place!

the contrast with how happy oh-aew looked when the advertising professor told him he had the right answer, compared to how torn down he looked after being critiqued and told he got a C by his acting professor (in front of the whole class!!). which tbh for me is subtle commentary on how much influence professors have on students' self-confidence and whether they believe in their own ability to succeed in their field.

the commentary on sexism and homophobia in the thai entertainment industry!! khim being told she looked too old, not smart enough, not believable, honestly all coded ways of saying she didn't fit in with the beauty standard they were going for. and while khim is saying this we see oh-aew is already getting nervous, because he's already had his confidence shaken by his experiences in class. and then when we get to the scene where the casting director says he's too girly and asks him to act more manly, we see oh-aew's mood shift completely, and honestly it hurts to watch. pp did such an amazing job here because i felt it, like the way oh-aew's eyes change, and then he swallows right after, and how unsettled he sounds trying to deliver the line again after hearing that critique.

oh-aew listening to khim tell teh about how hard it's been for her to break into the industry is so impactful, because you can already tell what he's thinking. is this really worth it? do i want this enough to endure people telling me over and over again i'm not masculine enough for them? is that going to be me in the future, being rejected from hundreds of castings and still not making it?

when teh hugs khim and says "we will get through this together," it's so clear that he identifies with her struggle. teh is someone who has worked his ass off to get to where he is (remember his fight with his mom where she said he lost sleep and was getting sick from all the studying he did?), and he sees himself in khim and her passion and ambition. meanwhile, we see oh-aew really doubting whether this is the right path for him.

i love how teh immediately asked if oh-aew was okay after oh-aew told him about what the casting director said, and how teh reassured him that he liked oh-aew the way he is. it's like, he so clearly cares for oh-aew and loves him so much and sometimes knows how to show it well, and then other times just fucks it up. it's so real??

oh-aew deciding to change majors three months into it is a very oh-aew thing to do, and what i mean by that is, this is a character who is super in touch with himself and his feelings and trusts in himself to make the right decisions. he's not afraid to change his mind (remember when he was testing out his feelings for bas and teh and then turned down bas once he knew?), he's bold and goes for what he wants. and i envy that about his character so much. but it makes me sad to know that the thing that was making him nervous during this scene was the fact that he was worried about how teh would react. like he went through all that questioning and critique himself, to finally discover his answer, only to now have to worry about whether his partner will accept him.

teh, on the other hand, has had his whole life planned out since forever. he feels the need to know and control everything. he has so much fear and insecurity. and he is stubborn and doesn't believe in giving up, which he believes is what oh-aew is doing. and on top of that, he sees this as another way in which he is losing oh-aew. one more thing oh-aew has in common with his friend group that doesn't include him. one more way that he's becoming a smaller part of oh-aew's world. oh-aew looked so small in the bathtub scene and i just wanted to hold him 😔

the 8 month time skip is a little jarring because of all the things we don't get to see, but i guess it makes sense if teh has been bottling up his insecurities about their relationship that it would all blow up in everyone's face in the way that it did at the dinner scene.

it was interesting to me how teh hesitated when oh-aew texted that he would join them for dinner, like teh didn't want oh-aew to come along with his drama club. and then once oh-aew arrives at the restaurant, we see that teh isn't totally happy either. it's like as much as teh feels like an outsider in oh-aew's world, he seems to also see oh-aew as an outsider in his own world too. and when top says he wanted to get into comm arts at anantasart but he didn't get in, we see teh's expression and it's like, a reminder that he gave up that spot for oh-aew, that teh didn't pass the admissions exam either, and that oh-aew who did pass has now "given up" on it (in teh's eyes) to pursue another major. it's like teh also feels betrayed on behalf of all the performing arts kids who are struggling to make their passion into a career.

i feel like i sort of get why teh said all that shit about oh-aew at the dinner table now. i'm not excusing it at all, that was super shitty of him. but i wonder if it's like, this is a thing they deal with in the performing arts, people giving up because it's so hard to make it in the industry. and you watch your friends leave one by one, and it keeps causing more and more doubt in yourself about whether you can make it. and now that teh sees oh-aew as someone who's given up, he doesn't want that energy at the dinner table with his drama friends, like he wants to protect them from that and keep up with this "we can get through this together" mentality that he keeps saying. so it's easier for him to try to dismiss it as oh-aew's personality flaw, rather than a legitimate change in career path, because he's worried about how it might affect his own friends in the drama club. and we see how protective teh is of khim, when he says "what the fuck did you just say?" like he really shares an identity with his drama club and it's clear he thinks oh-aew doesn't understand it or belong there.

needless to say, i was extremely stressed that entire dinner scene which i think means the writers, p'meen, and the actors did an excellent job.

their fight scene was really amazingly done and i am just stunned by teh's response when oh-aew asks him "what if this is who i really am, would you not like me anymore?" and teh thinks about it for a bit, and says "maybe." that's him being genuine, he's not trying to hurt oh-aew in saying that, and we can see him internally asking himself that question. but he doesn't know the answer, because he can't even be honest with himself about why he's upset at oh-aew. so he says the first thing he thinks which is an honest "maybe," and then he immediately regrets his words, and at some point he's going to have to learn that he can't just say the first thing that comes to mind, when other people's feelings are at stake. also, the fucking piano that plays? the violin? goddamn.

khim's character is really here to teach teh, and all of us, some life lessons. she is so real. her struggles are so real. life is fucking hard, and it's not fair, and no matter how hard you work or try you can't have it all. "the conditions for our lives are not the same" holy shit yes. she wants to take care of her family and her dog, she can't just think of herself. i feel like teh, who comes from a relatively modest background but has always had hoon as a father figure to support his mom, probably doesn't feel that same burden.

teh being frustrated and going to the bridge was beautiful. the crying hug scene at the dorm was so beautiful.

i love that in the end, teh finally owns up to his own insecurities and apologizes and admits he was wrong. of course, this was after oh-aew reached out to him first. i think it's totally realistic that we see his growth happening kind of slowly, but before the series ends he's going to need to be the first one to reach out, because oh-aew can't hold all of that on his own.

the last score when they hug under the moonlight, i love it!!

[dumbbitchenergy17]

Extra Part 5

U.A. a school for students to learn how to become the best Pro-Hero. When young Y/n Midoriya returns from her traveling to be accepted through recommendation. What awaits her when she meet the explosive blonde Katsuki Bakugo

Words- 2722

Katsuki Bakugo x Midoriya!Reader, Izuku Midoriya x Cousin!Reader

Warning-Spoilers from show and bit angst but mainly fluff in this chapter

Series Masterlist

When you made it there all of your classmates were already there talking to each other and whatnot.

“Am I late?” You asked fixing your bag. Everyone turned to you smiles on their faces

“Y/n!” They yelled rushing to you. You were swarmed in hugs by the girls as they were talking about everything they missed.

“Oh my god, how are you.”

“We missed you so much!” 

You were gone for so long.” 

After all the greeting you saw Bakugo off to the side with Kirishima.

“Hey, Blondie.” You called him out making him turn to you, he had a glare on his face from the comment but it softens and he gave a brief nod.

You were standing next to Uraraka and Izuku while the others were just in little groups.

“Does it hurt?” Uraraka asked pointing at the scar on your face. Your face instinctively goes to your face embarrassed

“Um not really the pain is gone is just there is a lot of them so I keep the bandages on.” You explained pointing that it went from your shoulder to where the scar was shown on your face. Izuku squeezes your hand

“Well we are happy you are back and better.” Ida said making you smile. By the time everyone had finished their greeting Mr. Aizawa had come out of the front doors of the dorm.

“I’m glad to see everyone was able to be here, each of the dorms is for each class. ” He pointed down the road where multiple houses were.

“With your provisional hero licenses exam coming up we were supposed to be training at the camp. But you will all have to push yourself further to be ready, before we go in I want to be very clear. I should have you all expelled except, Bakugo, Y/n, Hagakure, and Jiro for not stopping the group from going after the two of them,” 

Everyone’s jaw dropped about him talking about being expelled, “You will be working your hardest and you will only be doing school and training, not a step out of line. Am I understood?” He stated.

“Yes sensei.” Everyone said in unison.

“Ok let’s go inside and enjoy the dorm.” Mr. Aizawa’s attitude flipped like a switch making everyone confused

“How can we enjoy the rest of our day with that speech.” Sero complained. Bakugo goes over and grabs Kaminari and pulls him behind the wall at the entrance and you all see sparks go off before they both turn the corner and Denki is lucid babbling nonsense making you all laugh. You turn away and see Bakugo hand over a stack of cash to Kirishima. When he turns around he sees you watch with a smile. He gives you a glare and looks away grumbling under his breath.

“Hey guys! Dinner is on me.” Kirishima calls out holding up the same cash Bakugo gave him. When you guys entered the dorm it looked so cool, there were couches and tables and windows that led to a courtyard in the middle of the building.

“The first floor is a common area with a living area, with a shared kitchen, bathrooms, and laundry room.” Mr. Aizawa explained pointing around the room as everyone looked in awe.

“We are sharing the showers with the girls.” Mineta drools over the thought of seeing the girls.

“Each dorm has a separate bathroom for themselves.” Mr. Aizawa sends a glare towards Mineta

“Each floor are separate boys in the left-wing and girls in the right-wing.” He pulled out a list “You belonging are already in your rooms so feel free to relax or explore more.” After he had finished he left you all to get explore the empty room.

“These rooms are as big as my house.” Uraraka says looking at how big they are before passing out at the sheer size

“Uraraka!” Ida yells making you and Izuku laugh.

“We have balconies.” Izuku smiles as he and Kaminari wave down to the group. You all go off to your rooms to unpack and change out of your uniform into a sweater and sweatpants and heading downstairs where most of the students were hanging out

“This is place is so cool.” Ashido squealed flopping onto one of the couch.

“It great we have our own room to decorate.” You said sitting next to Ida.

“Oh my god, that’s it! We should have a contest on who has the best room.” Uraraka jumped up and most of the girls agree and some guys were unsure. 

“Isn’t this kinda invasion of privacy.” Ida said as everyone made their way into the elevator.

“Eh It’ll be fun, think to as bonding of students, right class rep.” You smiled as you made your way up to the second floor.

“I guess.” Tenya nodded

“So who’s first?” Ashido asked looking at the floor plan.

“Well, my room is on this floor.” Izuku spoke up

“Great!” The group made their way to Izuku’s room, 

“Wait don’t go in there.” He waved frantically but the door was open and we walked in. Izuku’s face was completely red, his room was covered in All Might posters and collectibles

“Fanboy huh.” Uraraka teases him. On his desk, there is a collage of postcards from different locations

“You kept my cards.” You looked at the cards from different locations and you froze staring at the Paris postcard.

“Yeah I kept them it was the only way we could talk, but they all stopped after Paris.” Izuku said looking at you.

“Aww that’s so cute.” Hagakure cooed. Everyone left Izuku’s room and watched in amusement as Ashido and Hagakure try to push Tokoyami away from the door.

“Y/n help us.” Ashido pleading you shook your head laughing

“I’ll pass this is very entertaining.”

When the girls entered they look around at the dark gloomy room.

“Spooky.” Uraraka looked around at the skulls on the tables

“You have a sword so cool.” Izuku freaks out over the sword on its stand. Aoyama was more than happy to show off his room and it was the opposite of Tokoyami. There were mirrors all over the room and very sparkly and bright.

“Is anyone going to come and see my room.” Mineta stood against the door and you and the girls grimaced.

“I don’t want to know what’s in there.” Jiro said as they went up onto the 3rd floor. Ojiro’s room was very basic, and Tenya’s as well but his walls very covered in bookcases.

“I need all the books to be the best Class Rep.” He stated proudly.

“Why do you have so many glasses.” You and Uraraka chuckled at the shelves of glasses

“I expect all my glasses to be broken in battle.” He defended himself this making you and Uraraka burst into laughter. Kaminari’s room looked like the inside of those shops in Kamino which made some of the girls laugh and he deflated at the comment. The group continued into Koda’s room and most of the girls freaked out when they saw a bunny in the room. After spending a bit with the rabbit, the group makes their way to the elevators

“Why are we only seeing our rooms if this is a competition the girls need to be included.” Mineta said making all the boys who were disappointed with the reactions to agree with him.

“Yeah, I’m fine with that.” You shrugged your shoulders and the rest of the girls agree. You decided to finish the boy’s side before going to the other side, You checked out Kirishima’s room which had weights and sports equipment around the room

“Very manly Kirishima.” You compliment and his smile gets bigger. Shoji’s room was a very empty room with the bare necessity, and when you guys made it to the last floor everyone was surprised at Sero’s stylish Asian-style dorm.

“Well let’s get this over with.” Todoroki opened up the door to his room, everyone’s jaw had dropped it looked like you had entered someone’s house, not the dorm room. His room was very traditional in the Japanese style.

“How did you even do this!” Kaminari looked at Todoroki as if he grew two heads. There was a pause

“Hard Work.” He responds. You finished up the boy’s side with Sato’s it was fairly normal but there were baking supplies and treats

“I had to take up a skill in baking to help with my quirk.” Sato pulled out some cake from the oven and served it out to the group.

“This is so good.” Uraraka grinned,

“The flavor is amazing, can you make something for my tea.” Yaoyorozu grinned.

“This is awesome Sato.” You finished up the treat. Your group headed over to the girl’s side.

“Finally the girl’s rooms, what secrets do they hold.” Mineta rubs his palms together only to get hit in the head by Jiro. You guys started at Yaoyorozu’s room but the group decided to stay outside as her room was completely crowded with her furniture.

“I thought my stuff would fit in here but I guess not, this room is about the same size as my closet back home.” Yaoyorozu explained.

“Your closet is this big.” Uraraka said before passing out in shock.

“Uraraka!” Tenya yells at her again.

“Are we going to Asui room?” Jiro asked Uraraka shook her head

“Tsuyu wasn’t feeling well and decided to head to her room.” she explained the group skipped her room head down to the floor you staying in. You guys went into Uraraka

“It’s a low budget room I know.” She rubbed the back of her head.

“Well, now you can fill it with memories.” You grab her hand giving her a squeeze. Even though your room was next Ashido wanted to show off her room 

“Be my guest.” You gave her the go-ahead. Her room was very girly with Pink and black cheetah pink. You stayed there for a bit before you guys made your way to your room 

“We know nothing about you, this is gonna tell us everything.” Ashido pointed out and the group nodded.

“Well let’s hope I leave a good impression.” You smiled opening up your door. You had your bed against the wall like everyone else, you had some plants on your dresser with trinkets there as well. There was a record player on your desk and your guitar. On the wall, there were photos and paintings, on the wall were your bed there was a huge map with multiple thumbtacks on different locations. 

“You’ve been to all these places.” Kirishima looked at all the thumbtacks

“My parents traveled a lot for work I’ve been traveling for...I don’t know... Maybe 7-8 years.” You said to expect the reaction 

“You’ve been traveling for 7 years!” Kaminari yelled. 

“Not for 7 years straight but I’ve been taking online school and homeschool since I was seven.” You responded. The group nodded continuing to look around your room.

“Aw look at you, you look so cute.” Ashido points at a photo of when your family went to Athens you were mid-laugh on a boat.

“Yeah, that was Athens. We spent almost a year there.” You said.

“Who is the boy in this one.” Todoroki

“BOY!” The girls and Izuku yell trying to see the photo.

“Ohh he’s cute.” Hagakure gushes over him and you are able to see the photo. 

“That’s Henry.” You replied the photo was you and him together dancing smiles on both of your faces.

“Where is this one.” Uraraka asked for more information. 

“We were in Venezuela and I usually spent in exploring and we just met and click. My parents had to go to Columbia and I asked to stay and they left me so I spent the next few months with him and his family.” You explained looking at the photo feeling nostalgic.

“Were you guys together.” Sero asked leaning against your desk

“Oh god no,” You shook your head, “I was 13 and we were constantly moving around so we spent the time together and kept in touch when I left but that was years ago I haven’t talked to him in forever.” You said putting the picture back on your desk. 

You turned back at the group and clapped your hands “So who’s room is next.” 

The group made their way downstairs and we saw Jiro’s which was really interesting as she had many instruments around her room, and she knew how to play them all, you then check out to see Toru room which was very girly, with stuffed animals surrounding it. You all made your way back to the common room to cast your votes.

“Ok everyone’s vote is with one person having 6 votes, the winner of the best room is… Rikido Sato!”

“You only won because of your food!” Mineta yelled,

“Your room wasn’t even that cool!” Kaminari cries.

You get up from your spot next to Izuku and Uraraka “I’m gonna head out. I’ll see you guys in the morning.” You said your goodnights to your classmates and headed back to your room. 

You closed the door behind you going to the mirror, slowly being careful not to hurt yourself you undo the bandages around your neck, take a deep breath lifting your hand and delicately trace the scars. Pulling away from the mirror you go over to the photo, you had a smile on your face a genuine one as you both stared at each other. You sit at your desk grabbing the guitar reading the message on the side of it.

‘To my angel, keep this and never forget your time here and come back soon. Te amo.’ -Henry. 

Ok so you didn’t tell them you were in a relationship with him, you two would have never made it work, he’s probably happy out there living his life. You climbed into bed and let sleep take over you. 

Your eyes shot open as you shot up in your bed trying to get your breathing under control. You rubbed your eyes leaning your head on your knees, you get up to go some water then you remember you still need to put stuff in your fridge. You slide slippers onto your feet and made your way downstairs to the common room. When the elevator dinged you walked out and walked over to the kitchen. You poured yourself to water and leaned against the counter taking a sip from it every once in a while. You heard footsteps heading in your direction a red haze surrounded one of the knives in the chef block and sent it flying towards the person, only to stop yourself when you see it’s Bakugo.

“Try not to kill someone on your first night here eh.” He said grabbing the floating knife and placed it back on the counter.

“Sorry just jumpy,” You apologized grabbing your drink, “I’ll leave you be.” You began to walk away from the kitchen.

“Wait,” He sighed, “You don’t need to leave.” You nodded and sat in one of the chairs at the island and continue to drink your water as Bakugo went to grab a fruit from a pile. He came over sitting on the other of the island.

“Does it hurt.” He said looking at your scars. You bring a hand up and touch you neck.

“No, It stopped hurting before I even woke up just the reminder hurts.” You said he leans over reaching his hand out but stops short of your neck until you nod and he makes contact with your skin.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbles as his hands trails up you neck his finger tracing each scar.

“It wasn’t your fault if you weren’t there I would be good as dead.” You said grabbing his hand and giving it a squeeze. You both stood basking in the silence holding each others hand.

“I should probably head to bed.” You looked at the time.

“Uh yeah.” Bakugo coughed pulling his hand away from you. You placed your glass in the sink and made your way to the elevator

“Night Blondie.” You gave him a smile.

“Night Idiot.” He responded making you laugh.

The doors closed separating the two of you and for the first time in forever you and Bakugo had given a genuine smile.

(A/N: So here are some links for the your dorm room you can always think of something else, and here is a photo of you and Henry) Room: 01/02/03 Photo

[3arzal]

sincerity is scary (part 1)

nathan mackinnon / reader

3,200+ words (for this part at least)

friends to lovers. this turned out angstier than i originally planned in my head um...

warning for swearing

author’s note: many months ago, i said i was done with writing, then i clowned myself. this is the first time i’m writing an x reader type of fic because i used to write kpop bg pairings so idk how decent this will be lol. anyway, this is a highly personal and self-indulgent fic and something i’ve wanted to write for a very long time. to all my fellow hopeless-romantic tomboys out there waiting for their turn in love, this one goes to you. i said i was content with reading fics because i’m too lazy to write but oh well fucking shit.

Your first memory including Nate was his fourth birthday party. It was a memory that makes you smile come a time that you think about it while spacing out. You remember it vaguely, but all the details don’t even matter. You remember sitting next to him at the big table as he blows his cake. There’s a picture of that somewhere in the photo albums in your parents’ house. You remember being the new kid in the neighbourhood, but you lived next to the MacKinnon’s. Even if Nate had a few friends from nursery, you eventually became his best friend. You were a shout away from him and all the details don’t matter, because until now that you’re both twenty five, you’re still the bestest of friends even if you lived in different American states--him in Colorado and you finally landing your dream job in New York City.

It was a special friendship that had been rock solid for twenty one years. You know he has a lot of people in his life now being the NHL superstar that he is. You know he considers some of the guys and some of his teammates as his best friends as well. All of that did not bother you to say the least. It was okay, because he was meant for great things and you were there to witness him achieve everything he longed and wished for since you were kids. You know you will always have a place in his heart, and him in yours, because that’s what best friends do, right? They’re each other’s biggest support system, away or together.

You were there in all of his home games, you spent almost all of your childhood with him in the rink, he gladly participated in any hobby you had at the time, and most of all, he made sure that if he had free time, it was all yours. You couldn’t ask for a better best friend and neither can he.

Now, as you sit in front of him in a hotel restaurant in the middle of Aspen at his birthday dinner on a trip he insisted you two take before the pre-season starts, you stare at him in part-shock-part-confusion as he lays his heart out on the table with a confession you did not see coming at all: “I guess I’ve been in love with you all this time.”

-

Now, see, you have always been Nate’s tomboy best friend. You were the girl who played hockey with him when you were kids and the girl who skateboarded all throughout middle school. You were the girl no guy has ever looked at like that, because you were different from all the pretty blondes and skinny girls and conventionally female specimen that boys would usually like. It didn’t bother you, not until high school anyway, when you finally crushed on some other guy that wasn’t in yours and Nate’s friend group. It was the biggest infatuation of your life so far, and when you realized he’ll never look at you like how he looks at the girls who wear skirts and tank tops, you gave up on even trying to feel.

“Are you seriously looking at skirts?” You remember Nate asking you one time you were both in the mall and he caught you lingering around skirts. You were both sixteen at the time, and he just got back from his morning hockey practice. You looked down on your usual oversized tee and baggy pants and your favorite pair of tattered Vans and thought, yeah, how can you even choose to wear a skirt willingly? It didn’t offend you or anything, his question was purely out of curiosity and not one of judgment. 

You shrugged at him, “Don’t you think it’s about time I dress more girly? I’m turning seventeen soon, and I still haven’t had a boyfriend.” 

“I dunno, you dress fine to me.” Nathan said then, and then it hit you--if Nate says you look fine then other people’s opinion shouldn’t even matter. He was your bestest friend, and you trust him because you have to. You should. But he’s still a guy, and you’re a teenage girl who’s becoming more self-conscious as the days go by because that’s how life goes when you’re sixteen and hormonal. You shrug it off, though, because looking pretty was the least of your concerns anyway.

The following year, you get asked out on a date by one of the guys you went to middle school with. He was decent, and you were consistently talking to him and hanging out the past summer. He made you laugh and he became such a charmer since you last met him when you were pre-pubescent kids. It was your first date ever, and a week before you were highly stressing out on what you should wear, on what you should do, because you were seventeen and had no experience being with someone other than, lo and behold, Nathan. 

He was away from you now, doing his hockey thing and being great, but phone calls were still consistent between the two of you, and after stressing out for two whole hours trying to rummage the internet for Tips On How To Nail Your First Date, you finally give up and whine to him over the phone.

“Him? You’re going on a date with him? Wasn’t he like...a wimpy kid back then or something?” His voice is tired on the other line. His team lost tonight, and you know he’s frustrated about it, but he doesn’t really talk to you about it because he chooses not to. You’re going to change that soon because you know he’s too hard on himself when he loses. He knows you’re there to listen if he wants to whine, but for some reason he never talks about a loss with you anymore. Not like he used to back when you were younger and you still lived near each other. 

“Nathan, be nice.” You rarely call him Nathan because to you he has always been Nate. It means you’re dead serious right now. You mess up your short hair and stare at all the possible clothing options you’ve laid out on your bed. It’s mostly t-shirts, the ones that are close to your actual size, and then you realized you have no jeans that actually fit because all of them are baggy ones.

“Wow, she’s calling me Nathan. Who’s that guy?” He calls from the other line. His speech is turning more slurry, like he’s already falling asleep but trying hard to fight it. “But seriously, why do you need to dress up, anyway? Your clothes are fine.”

“You’re not a girl, you wouldn’t understand.” You tell him in a moment of miniscule irritation--not with him, but with yourself, because it then hits you: you want to impress this guy. You want to appear different for him, because it’s  your first ever date, and finally someone’s looking at you and making you feel pretty--like a girl. “Oh my god…” You croak after spacing out, and you jump a bit when you hear Nate through the speaker phone, forgetting that he’s still on the other line.

“What’s wrong?”

“Holy shit. I just realized I’m finally trying to get in touch with my girly side. Seventeen years too late for that.” You snort at how ridiculous you’re being, at how silly this whole situation is because you’ve never tried to change who you were before attraction came in the way. You realized you were turning into a woman without knowing it, and it’s not really bothersome because you are a woman. It’s just something different from what you’re used to growing up even if you were no stranger to it having an older sister who is undeniably more female than you. Nate didn’t have any problem that you have a vagina but can also beat up any guy who picks on you for being such a tomboy. Nate loved it when you played hockey with him even if he beat you every time. He loved watching you skate, cackles when you fall down, but gets concerned as he should when you get scrapes and bruises. He’s fine with what you are--with the way you dress, the way you project yourself to people, the way you’re not just any other girl. You’re his best friend and he loves you just as you are.

You remember that time at the mall last year when you were looking at those skirts, you remember what he told you back then, and then you remember why it doesn’t matter what you wear on a date. If any other people can’t handle you the way that you are then they don’t really have to matter to you, too.

The date approaches and you give up, thinking if this guy talks to you and even ended up asking you out he should accept you as you are, right? 

You’re wrong, because three dates in all he ever did was subtly criticize everything you did. He was trying to groom you into the girlfriend you can never be for him, and that appalled you so much and hurt you at the same time. You think he’d be one of the few guys who’ll understand that as much as you want to, you can’t really change who you are for someone else.

Nathan was livid. “Fuck that guy. He’s nuts.” He crackles through one of your nightly phone calls. “He’s ugly, he sounds like a rat, and I bet he smells like--”

“Okay, enough.” You chuckle at his frustration despite feeling down the past few days post ‘break-up’. “It’s okay, really, but I’m not that girl for him.”

“You’re not. You’re like leagues cooler than him, anyway.”

“Damn right I am.”

-

In the following years as he started his NHL career in Colorado, and with you moving to New York for your job, you’ve only seen him a handful of times although the Facetimes were still consistent. The time difference was there, and even if your calls only lasted about ten minutes or so as you both caught up with your lives, it was enough. You didn’t need two hours with him on the phone, because yours and Nate’s friendship was as solid as an asteroid crater on land. It could be two years since you’ve last spoken to one another and when you do see each other again it’s like nothing has changed. You’re grateful for it, because with you having a new life in NYC and him making a home out of Denver, he’s still the one piece of Cole Harbour you have anywhere you go. 

You forget about dating as you focus on your job. You love it, and you love living in New York. You’ve made friends that you can already consider as family. You have a great life ahead of you and you know it. You watch Nate’s games when he’s in town. You meet him back home in Canada when you managed to get a week off from work. Life is good and steady. For a while you thought that the happiness you managed to find will last a long time, and it did...until it didn’t. That’s when you realized. 

-

Nate gets a girlfriend. Her name is incredibly girly and she’s fucking beautiful. 

The Facetimes and phone calls were less now, has been for the last couple of months, really, but that did not bother you at all because they were having a fantastic season and you understand his job comes first. 

What hurt you though was how he just dropped the news like a bomb through text. And you two never ever texted. You didn’t even get a scoop that he was seeing someone, never even mentioned anyone when you two manage to sneak in calls in between your busy schedules. It’s on a sad and dull Friday night when you were sulking on your couch because nobody was available to hang out with you to get a drink when the text comes.

‘Guess I have a gf now lol. Her name’s __’ Attached is a picture of her seated across from Nate on what appears to be a restaurant. 

You sit up in alarm, your heart beating a mile per second, followed by a heavy ache in your chest. You don’t know what to feel yet you’re feeling everything all at once--surprise, confusion, anger. The happiness is questionable. You sit there for a whole five minutes staring at the very random text when the text bubble appears on the screen.

‘You know it says when you’ve read my message ryt’

You don’t really know and you don’t really care right now. You want to yell at him and demand details, but you’re really confused as to why he’s texting when he usually just calls you. It was eight in the evening when you decided to sleep away the dull ache in your chest and that heavy heart of yours. You turn your phone on silent as you put it inside the drawer of your bedside table.

The following day you wake up at noon. You instinctively reach for your phone on the bedside table when your hands come up with nothing--and then you remember where you put it the previous night. You didn’t dare check it, though, because the moment you wake up you know the ache is still there. You remember those damn texts, you remember everything you’ve felt as you lie in your bed for hours when your mind and body refuses to shut down.

You skip breakfast because you weren’t really hungry, so you do your laundry instead. It leads to you cleaning your bathroom, and then that leads to cleaning your entire apartment, and when you managed to finish it was almost four in the afternoon. You were too tired to cook, so you munch on cereal. You chug several bottles of water after when you realize you haven’t had any the entire day. You take a quick shower. You switched on Netflix on your flatscreen and you managed to finish two movies. You stare blankly on the rolling credits as you feel your mind shut down. You’ve managed to avoid thinking about Nate and his new girlfriend for the entire day, and now that it’s evening again you feel every damn feeling come back. You finally decide to check on your phone. 

Fifteen messages and ten phone calls all from Nate. Funny how that turned out. You check some more and there were texts and a few calls from your sister and from a few friends from back home. You check that out first, and you were surprised that they all seem to ask you the same damn thing: You okay? Where are you? Nate texted me saying you weren’t answering your phone.

Ten phone calls left unanswered. 

Then you finally get to his messages:

‘Why you leaving me on read?’

‘Heyyyyyy’

‘y/n…..!!!!!!!!!’

‘I’m getting worried wtf’

‘Y u aint answering meeeee’

‘I’ve called five times!!’

‘TEN times!’

‘Are you okay?’

‘Holy shit where the hell are you’

‘Don’t joke with me like this I’m fucking serious answer your phone’

‘Even your sister can’t reach you’

‘What’s happening? Are you at a party and drunk off your ass in some dark alley in nyc?’ 

‘Jesus i don’t even know your friends there i can’t contact anyone to check on you’

‘Just please call me back asap. I’m fucking worried bc you always have your phone with u’

‘Hope you’re okay’ 

It’s kinda funny how he stopped trying, because you haven’t been on your phone the entire day as well and there weren’t any follow up texts or calls this day. You don’t know when the bitterness settled in but now you finally know what you feel and you feel bad that you’re feeling that way. Why are you reacting this badly? You don’t even know, but to calm his dramatic ass down you finally reply to him.

‘Sorry lol im sick i’ve been asleep and weak the whole day’

You jump on the call that lights up your screen immediately and you panic while thinking of ways to sound sick.

“Hey…”

“Jesus fucking christ.” Is how he greets you. “I’ve been worried sick the whole day.” You suppress a snort because you don’t know how true that is. “You okay?”

“Not really…” You try to croak. “Got a raging fever.”

“How long? Maybe you should go to the hospital. Don’t you have someone who can drive you?”

“Unlike you, I don’t have someone.” Is what slips out of your mouth before you can even think about it. You gasp at your own display of bitterness because that sounded harsher than you intended. You know he means well, and of course you know that he knows you have many friends in the city. He wasn’t specifically pointing out a boyfriend, but you sure are making things big. Stupid fucking bitterness. Stupid fucking jealousy. You tried to deny it, but when you’re close to crying over your best friend getting a girlfriend that he apparently hid from you, then you know what it really is after all. 

His silence is deafening and it’s the first time you’ve ever felt awkward with him and you’re not even together in the same damn place.

As the silence stretches on, you hear a voice in the background call out. “Nate? You coming to bed?”

And you beat him before he can voice out a reply to her, or to you. “I’m fine. I can take care of myself. You should go, I’m hanging up. Catch ya later.”

You don’t ‘catch up’ with him, not for another three days, and even then it’s still through text. Your last phone call had been two weeks prior to his girlfriend revelation. You tell him you’ve recovered from your (fake) fever and that you’ve been busy with work you missed. He tells you about his schedules and games and the new guy who’s recently traded to the Avs. There wasn’t another phone call for weeks to come and it’s weird not hearing his voice for more than a month. 

You’ve finally managed to put your jealousy aside as you try to ignore that, yes, you’re probably in love with Nate without you even knowing. Over the weeks that passed you’ve come to a very, very annoying realization that the reason why you don’t and can’t date is because no one will even compare to Nate. You’ve managed to put him on a pedestal when you really shouldn’t have but it’s hard when he’s the best guy you’ve ever known. He’s the only guy who understands you and knows you inside out. He has no judgement for who you are. He was the one you shared your entire life with and no one of the opposite gender will probably solidify himself on you as Nate did. You think life has been okay because it’s you and him against the world even if you’ve been long distance for a long time now. Him not telling you about this girl from the beginning really, really hurt you more than it should, but you will come to realize it’s the wake-up call you badly needed.

You’re fucking in love with Nathan MacKinnon and that scares you.

[faecaptainofdreams]

(Everyone is sitting together. It doesn't really matter where, but they're all outside and having a great time. Lance, Walter, Marcy, Killian, Eyes, Ears, August, Ramsey, Sky, Felix, Gwynn, Jack, and Hiro. Other friends, such as Joy and Tonya [the security lady], aren't too far away. Lovey, Jeff and Crazy Eyes are present as well, calmly strutting around, being petted by various members of the group.) Walter: I remember when I was six, I went to my mom's room and was watching her put on her makeup for the day. She was kinda used to that, since I followed her everywhere. Well, I told her I liked her makeup, and that she was really good at putting it on. So then I'm like "Hey, what's it like to wear makeup?" And she goes, "I don't know, I'm used to it." And she looked at me, because I think she knew that I was building up to asking if I could wear some. I told her I just wanted to wear what she was wearing, just to know. She had to think about that for a minute, hah! Marcy: This feels like a really important part of your flamboyant origin story. (Everyone laughs, Walter included.) Walter: YES, definitely! So like, she was a little thrown, I think? But then she was like "Yeah, sure, okay, you can try on my makeup," and she had me sit in her little chair in front of the mirror. She was telling me that it was gonna feel funny, that I needed to be still so she wouldn't accidentally poke my eye, all that good stuff. My mom was SUPER attentive whenever she tried new things with me, because of the Asperger's. We really didn't know what could trigger that potential sensory overload or what I might be overwhelmed by, so I think she was more nervous about that than anything. Well... Before she started, I asked her if wearing makeup would make me less of a boy. I said, "Only girls wear makeup, and when boys like girly things, they get made fun of." I was really aware of that. I always SO BADLY wanted to take my Unitee to school, as a comfort object, but I was scared to death of the other kids taking her from me and tearing her up or something. So -- anyway, mom goes, "No, some boys wear makeup," and she said, "Did you know that men wear makeup in other parts of the world?" And she told me about the Egyptians, ancient peoples and how makeup was originally for everybody, all that cool stuff. SHE info-dumped on ME! (They all laugh a little.) Walter: It was just really striking to me how...progressive she was, like there was nothing I could do that she didn't support. I told her I didn't think I wanted to wear makeup all the time, and she said "Good, you're too young for it anyway." (More laughs.) Walter: So I sat there, and she started putting the makeup on me. She put on my eye shadow, then eye liner, then mascara... It was exhausting! How do people wear it ALL THE TIME? (They all nod and chuckle and Marcy raises her hand, drawing attention to herself.) Marcy: It's the way of the woman, Walter. Killian: And the very flamboyant, but no-less-masculine man. Ramsey: I tried on makeup once. Turned my rat face into a rat face with paint on it. (All laughter.) Sky: Hah, okay babe, so what happened next? Walter: *giggles softly* Well, then she put a little blush on just for the fun of it, and then put lipstick on me. We both kept laughing, I think she was laughing at me because I kept pursing my lips out SUPER hard! She was like "Just relax a little!" And I would, and then I would purse really hard again! (Laughs.) Gwynn: That's so cute, hah hah. Walter: We had this really long talk about how boys are not boys because they don't wear makeup, and girls aren't girls because some of them do wear makeup. Same with pants, and dresses. She said that if I am a boy, then that's what I am no matter what I have on. I was like... "If?" (Lots of concerned chuckles and a few laughs roll through the group.) Lance: OH shit, she probably didn't count on that one. Walter: NO, NOT AT ALL. I mean, it wasn't that long ago, but honestly transgender, non-binary and all the LGBT stuff has REALLY just been gaining traction in the past few years. Like I said, she was REALLY progressive. Felix: Did she have to explain that? Walter: *nods* A little. She kept it simple, she was like "Well, sometimes little boys feel like they aren't actually boys, and they feel like they're girls, so they choose to be girls and that's who they really are." I asked her how that's possible, because I have to over-analyze everything, pfft. She said she couldn't really explain it, that it was fine that I didn't understand, that she could tell me later. Yeah -- whenever she couldn't explain a hard topic to me, she was always really good about saying it was okay that I didn't understand it. Living in a world where you're expected to just GET everything, whether it's a hard or an easy concept, that was always nice. Hiro: *nods* Jack: Everyone should be told that, you've got a point there. Sky: I could not STAND when teachers were like "Oh ThiS iS eAsY, eVeRyOnE eLsE gEtS iT" LIKE BITCH, SHUT UP. *claps between words* I'M- NOT- THEM. Lance: RIGHT THOUGH?!

Ears: Rude.

Walter: Exactly! Everyone is different. Not even from an Autistic standpoint, just a HUMAN CHILD standpoint, my mom was really good with helping me be okay with my environment. August: Do you think if you were neurotypical, she would've been just as good, or like, less good or not as...paying attention? Walter: *thinks for a moment* Mmm... I mean, she was really good with me before I was even diagnosed, she was really patient and tried to roll with the fact that I was somehow very different from my peers. But no, I think she probably would've been about the same. Maybe less careful, or less afraid of setting me off somehow, but she DEFINITELY wouldn't have loved me less or had been any less kind. She was just...a great mother, plain and simple. (Gwynn reaches across the table and gently takes his hand, silently offering a bit of love. Walter smiles sadly to her.) Lance: So, what happened with the makeup? Walter: *sits up and takes in a deep breath* I told her it felt weird, aaand she said that was normal... *smiles softly* She told me I was pretty... I asked if I could show grana, so we went and found her in the living room and showed her. Ramsey: Oooh, was granny as progressive as mom? Walter: OH yeah, she was definitely where my mom got it from. She loved it! Marcy: *shaking her head slowly in awe* That is so rare, like WOW. Walter: Mm-hm. Yeah, I actually came out to grana when I was 14. I said, "I think I'm gay," and she looked me dead in the eye and said, "Oh, I knew that!" (They all laugh.) Walter: I was like, "Whaaat??" She told me that her and mom figured that out when I was two. Lance: ...What the hell was you doin' when you were TWO to give that away??? (They all chuckle.) Walter: HAH hah! I asked her that, and she said that my mom was just watching me play. I wasn't doing anything special, I -- she just said "I think my son is gay." And apparently, grana felt the same way? It turns out, big shocker, I am not mysterious. Hahahah! Felix: No, no you are NOT. Gwynn: Your family was really cool, Walter. Walter: Yeah... They were... (He nods his head slowly, eyes becoming a little wet. But he smiles, warm memories, love, and a little sadness filling his heart.) Walter: And now I have this cool family, so... I'm really really l-ucky-- (He wipes his eyes, trying not to cry.) Walter: Nnnaaahhh!! I don't wanna cry, aha hah...! Marcy: *chuckles* It's okay. Walter: Gah, I know. I cry enough though, I can go TEN MINUTES without! (They all chuckle, but there is an expression of care for him in everyone.) Walter: So that's the makeup story. *sniffles and wipes his eye one more time* I ended up not wearing it again after that, until the -- *motions to Jack* the mission! Jack: That was some fun, eh? Heheh! Really, Walter, you did make for a lovely lady! Walter: *laughs* Well thank you!! Hiro: I think it's nuts when people can tell their kids are gay. Killian: Yeh, some people honestly just feel that. I've heard about pregnant women being able to feel their unborn child is a certain way, and then years later they figure out they're right. Mind-boggling. Walter: There really is nothing harder to explain than a mother's instinct! Lance: Yeah, then there's MY mom. When I was like fifteen, my mom caught me dancin' in my room to this really fruity song and some dumbass chick flick was on the TV, and... (Everyone starts laughing.) Lance: *waves it off* So she busts in my room and is like *mocking voice* "Lance, you wanna tell me somethin'? Are you gay?" and I got all defensive and was like "NO MOM" in this really squeaky voice. (The laughter continues, and Lance along with them.) Lance: I knew what bein' gay was, and I knew how people made fun of it -- I made fun of it back then, everyone used it as an insult, there was all this misinformation about it flying around. My mom wasn't even being accusatory, she wasn't like MAD about it or anything, but from then on, ALL the time, if I did somethin' kinda questionable she was like "YoU gAy?!" So I'd try to make my voice deeper, like *makes voice deeper* "NO, MAMA. I LIKE GIRLS." (Laughter) Eyes: Did she try to get you for overcompensating? Lance: *claps and points at her* YES, I was just about to say! So I started gettin' pissed off about the gay thing, right? Well, my mom didn't know that I was listenin' to Afro Man back then. Hiro: What is that? Lance: Look him up, he's hilarious! Best song, Colt 45, hands down.

Ears: It's pretty funny, gotta admit. August: THAT SONG. IS SO. GROSS. Walter: When I was in middle school I heard some of the other kids singing it, I was sooo confused! August: Weren't you like FOUR in middle school? Walter: HAH HAH no, I was seven! August: PFFFT, OKAY, well that's still awful. Walter: *nods* Lance: My mom asked me if I was gay for the last damn time before I brought out my little laptop and started BLASTIN' Colt 45. Marcy: What even is that song?? Lance: It's literally just a rap song about the Afro Man having sex with dozens of women and being real vulgar about it, but not like your normal rap song. August: It's kind of like a parody, but it's not? Marcy: *sits back* Ew. Lance: Heh heh heh, yeah, when she heard that she went OFF on me. She was like "WHERE'D YOU FIND NASTY TRASH LIKE THAT YOU DELETE THAT RIGHT NOW" and started whippin' at my ass with the hand towel! (Laughter) Lance: I was running away cryin', screaming "I WAS JUST TRYIN'A TELL YOU I'M NOT GAY" and she goes "THAT'S WHAT OVERCOMPENSATIN' LOOKS LIKE!" (Their laughter is loud, boisterous, and unapologetic.) Ramsey: You get in trouble?! Lance: BIG TIME. Actually -- HA -- yeah, that's how I got into the military, she said "fuck this child and his stupid gay ass, he's gonna be a marine," stuck me on a plane and shipped me off. (The laughter is settling, but still genuine.) Lance: Nah nah I'm jokin', that's a joke. But yeah, I wasn't allowed on the internet for like three months after that. Walter: Hmhmhm! Did she finally stop asking? Lance: Yeah, yeah finally. I think that was the last straw. Marcy: Hey, where was your dad during all this? Lance: Oh god, you know him, he just kinda...stayed out of it, heh. He's definitely the more submissive one. But that's all right, mama's good to him. Killian: I personally adore your mother. Lance: Yeah, 'cos she showed you my baby pictures. Killian: You had the fattest fuckin' face on any infant I've ever seen. Lance: Whatever! You probably weighed like 18 pounds when you came out, you tank! (Walter unintentionally leads into the group laughing fit with a heavy "PFFT!") Killian: *laughing* I was thin as a rail 'til i was 17! Lance: Nah, you was what took down the Hindenburg, 100%. Killian: Bitch your face WAS the Hindenburg! Those CHEEKS! (The laughter only gets harder. The stories go on, the happiness rolls on forever. Eventually, Joy and Tonya join the group. This really is Walter's family, and it's perfect.) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ It's a little cheesy, but we could use some of that right now. I had this idea of Walter and Wendy a couple months ago, but never once even spoke of it. I thought i would do art for it sooner, but here we are -- better late than never. I'm glad it took until now, because i wouldn't have shaded it then. Been feeling sentimental lately, and SiD is a huge part of my heart now. This was actually done on the last page of the first sketchpad i used for SiD! Apparently, i abandoned the drawing pad with ONE PAGE LEFT >8U SO DUMB. So with me being emotional, feeling a need for closure and wanting to add one more thing to the book, i decided this was the perfect subject matter. I don't know when i'll draw for this movie again since Marvel has swept me away, but I think i'll always be paying attention to it. I think this is one of those things that just will forever mean the world to me.

<3

[topconfessions]

from what I've gathered, koreans are totally ok with bts' current crappy music because they really, REALLY want that American recognition. they're absolutely desperate for a Grammy because they see it as Peak Acknowledgement or something. that's why they're so happy about the billboard #1s even if they know they're entirely achieved with mass streaming/buying: it's one step closer to a Grammy nom and possibly win, and that's all that matters. personally I find this s bit sad for two reasons. 1) a Korean group doesn't need American validation because America isn't better than anyone else (sorry) and especially if this is the price they have to pay for it (basically turning into a generic American sounding group) 2) they seem unaware of the fact that the Grammys have lost all of their prestige and are basically a joke now. so they're working extra hard for something that means very little in the big picture. but then again it seems like it's really a big deal FOR THEM, so who am I to judge? (also just to be clear, I understand why they feel like this and I don't blame them. people from other countries whose artists haven't had much of a chance to make it in the US would feel the same) at any rate I think the next Grammys will be pretty decisive. if bts win, they'll become national heroes, will most probably be extempt from military service and will keep doing their thing. if they don't win, I think there's a good chance they'll give up and start enlisting. unless bighit has no shame, actually applies for the enlistment postponement they were offered, and make them try once more with another generic song. not sure what will happen if they don't even get nominated next year though.

sadly honey from a factual standpoint a grammy does mean you are solidified artist to some degree. If bts career and life is a video game then winning that grammy is like basically defeating the final boss and they can go home after that. It is cause no korean artist ever from local korea has won a grammy it would do wonders for the culture over there and make being an idol even more prestigeous.

the psychology of it all is a mess.

if bts were smart they'd cut this girly shit out and and make a relatable song like how bigbang did. bigbang's tpye of music and MV style would win and BB includes non asians in their content. It looks silly as fuck now but we need a bigbang bad boy 2021 ver. type of song for them? throw some latinas, white girls, black girls, people from around the way vibing, some good dancing that isn't too intricate and a whole flash wave. BOOM.

[izcana]

The Secrets of Wooing Thomas, by Minho No-Surname

In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the quoteonlyprompts collection.

Prompt(s): "I don't need a wand/weapon to knock you into next week."

This fic was also inspired by this imagine by imagine-thominho. "Imagine Minho bringing flowers to Thomas every day, because they never had flowers in the Glade."

***

It was a shriek that awoke Minho from his afternoon nap.

A shriek very alike to the ones of fear he had heard when they were back in the Scorch that had him awake instantly. He looked around, thrashing wildly, trying to identify the threat. He flailed for a bit only to notice Thomas with his brown eyes wide open, huddled into a ball in the corner. Of course, the girly shriek had belonged to Thomas.

Minho stopped finding it funny after he looked at the condition of his friend. His shallow breaths were very fast and his glassy eyes were wide open but unseeing, tears falling rapidly down his cheeks. Minho was by his side in a second. "Thomas? You okay, Shank?"

"Griever!" Thomas shrieked, pointing to the floor. Minho looked. There, on the floor, was a harmless spider. Not in Thomas' eyes, though. Because in Thomas' eyes, that harmless spider was a Griever, a monster of the maze. It did somewhat resemble a Griever, with 8 legs and a shiny black body. All in all, though, Minho was certain this spider was harmless compared to what they had gone through.

Just as Minho put his arms around Thomas, Harriet burst in. "What happened? Who's–––" Her voice died away after she saw Minho in the corner, arms around Thomas protectively. "Is he okay? Panic attack?" She asked sympathetically. They all experienced them – the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, as the doctor had called it. In Minho's opinion, it was no way to sum up all the Gladers and Group B girls had been through.

Minho nodded silently, pointing to the spider. "Griever," he said simply, but Harriet understood, her eyes widening. She nodded.

Harriet stalked to the corner that Thomas and Minho were in, unbeknownst to Thomas, and stepped on the spider, killing it. Thomas' shaking slowly died down after seeing his "threat" had been eliminated. "Take care of him, alright?" She said, shooting him a smile and jogging out the tent.

Ever since they'd gotten to Paradise, Minho and Thomas had made friends with the Group B girls. Scratch that. Thomas had made friends with the girls and Minho was Thomas' friend, so the girls begrudgingly, he might as well admit, got to know him too.

He was certain that half of his friendships had started with Thomas. Small, adorable Thomas who could not help but be likeable. His somehow still innocent demeanour (even after the trials) attracted many people to like him, including Minho when he was in the Glade. The shank was just so curious with his wide Bambi eyes darting back and forth, chocolate brown hair, and lean frame.

Minho didn't know when he had noticed that he was somewhat attracted to Thomas, but he'd same sometime during the Scorch, perhaps when Thomas got shot. Minho's (after he saw the bullet lodged in the pale flesh) vision had turned into red. He only saw in shades of red as he pounced onto the crank, beating him all the way to death.

"Ya know, I have an extreme fear of spiders, too," Minho started talking lowly so he didn't startle Thomas.

"Arachnophobia," A weak, quiet voice mumbled into his chest. The warm breath fanning his t-shirt and vibrating against the muscles had him sighing internally. Thomas was okay. He'd be fine. Minho would help him.

"What?" Minho asked, cocking his head sideways.

Thomas raised his head from Minho's chest. He had bed-hair, even though he didn't sleep, and it was adorable. His eyes were puffy and red-rimmed, and the moles on his cheeks were stained with tear tracks. Nonetheless, he smiled, and it looked like a real smile. Minho was proud to say that he was one of the few people in Paradise that had seen Thomas' genuine smile. He huffed. "It's called 'arachnophobia'. An extreme fear of spiders."

Minho snorted. "Know-it-all."

Thomas' next smirk was forthcoming. "Watch it, I don't need a weapon to knock you into next week. Besides, I thought we were beyond the name-calling?"

Minho ticked off his fingers. "Shank, shuck-face, piece-of-klunk, Greenie, and let's not forget Subject A2, to be killed by Group B." Minho knew making jokes about WICKED was okay with Thomas. The first time after he had done it, he had apologised over and over again. Thomas had cut him off, telling him that making jokes about it helped him move on.

Thomas stuck his tongue out. "I'm pretty sure the girls don't want to kill me now, especially Sonya." Sonya loved Thomas the most. Not that way, of course, Minho would have killed her if she dared. Thomas wasn't his, but he was his best friend and he was not going to let another girl steal him from Minho's grasp.

Minho glared playfully. "Such a shame that is, too." He was sure Thomas was going to reply with a lame comeback and he was ready for it.

But no. He was not ready for the look that followed. Thomas gasped, widening his eyes and pouting. His big brown eyes were wide and watery and the brown and (very) long eyelashes were not helping, neither were the small, plump rosy-strawberry pink lips that jutted out slightly. Thomas' master pout. Oh, no.

Minho had been first subjected to this pout in the first week of paradise. Thomas had wanted Minho's last orange and Minho refused to give it to him. The next second, Thomas had pulled his look and Minho had discovered that his hand was obediently handing the precious orange to Thomas, who stopped his pout immediately and ate the orange.

Minho had stared, dumbfounded, at the cute boy who had juice smeared all over his face. Minho was weak for Thomas, apparently. He questioned why Thomas didn't just use that look on Alby when he wanted to become a runner. It couldn't just be Minho who succumbed to Thomas' spell...or was it?

After a month of practice, Thomas' puppy look was polished and perfected and Minho hated it but loved it, too. He was sure he had used all the acronyms of "adorable" he knew to describe Thomas, which honestly, wasn't many. Only adorable, loveable, and cute. He was sure that Thomas knew more (the shucking genius, how??) but he was definitely not going to ask Thomas to find words to describe himself, not that he would know of...

Minho relented, making a face, but relenting all the same. "I hate you, Thomas," he muttered.

Thomas' reply was "You love me, Babe." What. Oh, oh. Little did Thomas know that it was true, and not in the way he thought it was. Because Thomas was the most oblivious person there ever was. Apparently, Minho's love declaration hadn't been enough. Friends always said 'I love you' in sappy tones? Somehow, in Thomas' world, they did. Minho wondered what world Thomas lived in.

Minho was pretty sure he'd dislocate his jaw if he didn't close his mouth now. So, forcing his jaw closed before Thomas noticed his gaping mouth, he swallowed drily. Thomas had no idea what he did to Minho. That or he was a prostitute in his past life. It was highly possible, judging by his looks. Have you seen the kid? He's always licking his lips and arrrrghhhhh!

Minho wanted to strangle Thomas and kiss him silly at the same time.

***

Minho was taking a walk along the meadow for his break day. It was Thomas' break, too, but he was with Brenda. Minho couldn't say he wasn't jealous.

He was actually on a pity walk because why should Thomas have him? Maybe because he was always there for Thomas? Where was Brenda in the Glade?

He was currently wandering around, humming as he plucked flowers. The meadow had plenty of flowers. The Glade didn't have any. Minho didn't know when he had became such a sap, but he was. Currently picking flowers (totally not for Thomas).

"Hey, Minho, come here!" Sonya called, beckoning him to where she and Harriet were resting on the rocky terrain.

Minho, against his smarter mind, walked over to where Sonya sat. "What's up?"

"You like Thomas, don't you?" Harriet said bluntly. Though it was phrased as a question, it was obviously a flat statement. Harriet said it like it was a proven fact, which it was.

"I don't!" Minho groaned. "I don't like Thomas! Why should I like him? He's brave and amazing and I ––––"

"Calm down, Prince Charming," Sonya drawled, making a pacifying gesture with her palms. "You're incriminating yourself and it's pitiful." She and Harriet exchanged looks, both shaking their heads. "Just confess! Harriet confessed to me and we're together, now."

"What am I supposed to say? Thomas, I love you? Thomas, would you be my boyfriend? Thomas, would you marry me?" Minho said sarcastically, holding out the makeshift bouquet of flowers.

"I would say yes," a shy voice behind Minho peeped. Minho's heart sunk and started beating like crazy inside his stomach.

This could not be happening! Thomas was ––– wait, what? "What did you say?" Minho demanded, his eyes widening as he flipped around to face Thomas.

Thomas shrunk down from his fierce glare, his shoulders curling forward and his head bowed down, casting his Bambi eyes to the grass. "I said...I-I s-said 'I would say y-yes'," Thomas stammered, his face going red. "Or was it a joke?"

Minho sighed. Oblivious-Mode, as usual. "Did it sound like a joke?" He asked, tilting Thomas' head up so he could gaze into the sparkling orbs.

"Well, yeah, why would someone like you want to be with someone like me? Everyone in Paradise –––"

Being bad with words, Minho wrapped his arm around Thomas' waist (the other one still clutching onto the flowers) and dipped him backwards, quickly slamming his lips bruisingly onto Thomas'. Thomas made a stifled moan behind them but then relaxed into the kiss, returning it feverishly. The two lips were a bit awkward with each other, but that was to be expected – after all, neither of them had been kissed many times.

The kiss continued until both of the boys broke apart simultaneously, panting for air. Minho, after getting a good few breaths in, took a look at Thomas. He was pleased with what he saw. The boy's pupils were blown wide and there was only a tinge of the honey amber irises. He was still chasing after Minho's lips, looking very dazed. He was also breathing very heavily through his kiss swollen red lips.

Minho grinned and a wave of possessiveness rushed over him. Thomas is mine, he thought.

"M-Minho?" Thomas stammered. "What...what are we?"

Minho smirked, his old confidence coming back again. "The offer of dating still stands, you know..." he said teasingly, raising the bundle of flowers.

Thomas grinned, his usual grin back. "The answer also stands. Yes, a million times over," Thomas almost squealed, gingerly taking the flowers as if he didn't believe they existed.

They were staring into each other's brown eyes intently before Harriet interrupted abruptly. "Excuse me, but there are children here and that kiss was definitely not appropriate for their age..."

Thomas and Minho shared looks in sync and started to kiss again in the same way as last time, with Minho dipping Thomas at the waist, the flowers long forgotten. No worries, Minho could get more for his boyfriend later.

***

This one's a bit longer than my usual fics, but I hope you enjoyed it! I apologise for the fact that this amazing prompt was not in the spotlight! Thank you, Anonymous for the prompt and thank you, imagine-thominho for the head canon.

[cutiejungkook]

hey girlies, this is my top 7 for iland that no one asked for.

1. jay - of course, my boy jay at the top. the passion from this boy at such a young age especially in the kpop industry, we need people like him who will not give up just like bts. future leader perhaps? ;)

2.) jake - okay, hear me out here. he is more than just a pretty face (let’s be real, he is the future nation’s boyfriend) but he also demonstrated his potential to keep growing. his ability to just keep growing and improving is something that will benefit him to become a top artist in the future. as a successful artist, you need to keep improving your art to match with the industry’s top and never staying stagnant. as band pdnim said, its about potential right?

3.) taki - he’s still quite young but i see a lot of potential in him, especially with his locking dance background that captured me during the first episode. add to the fact that during the freestyle mission, he placed number one and beat k and heeseung and that is all i’m saying. okay and he also gives me shounen anime mc vibes, you know the type that everyone underestimates but proves them wrong?

4. sunghoon - i definitely see him as jimin’s successor with his figure skating background. he’s also proven that he deserves to be in the debut group with his performances in the previous tests considering he had one of the top scores. also, he gives off prince vibes which the girls will love. also uhm jakehoon (jake x sunghoon)? we do not want to separate these two anytime soon. 

5.) jungwon - he has shown in every test that they had how capable he is, especially because he had great understanding and feel of the new songs given to them. he’s a stable vocal and a pretty decent dancer. i would not want to waste his talent and potential.

6.) sunoo - he is such a ray of sunshine, i always enjoy watching him perform. it’s obvious he’s a crowd favourite and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that because i get it. he’s also a great singer with lots of room for further improvement - that doesn’t mean he isn’t good now but i know he can become better. he’s super soft which again the girls will love and eat up.

7.) daniel, k or niki - the last member was hard to choose.. i love all three and would want them all to debut in the final line up. can they please debut a 9 member group instead?? but daniel of course hes super young but that proves his skill even more as he is able to be on par with the rest of the older members. meanwhile k is definitely the dance leader (future dance captain) especially with the amazing choreo he made from that gd song. and finally niki, which i have now started to really like. also another youngin but has so much talent and potential. he’s obviously a great dancer that we cannot let big hit hide in their basement!

---

end of rant. but not quite. notice how I did not include heeseung....i know he’s talented and blah blah, but i don’t know..he hasn’t done anything to really move me? and im an army, i am always skeptical of people if they’re being sincere or not. im not saying he’s evil but i can understand that he’s quite greedy to debut since he was not able to debut with txt (although if he’s such an ace, why didn’t he debut with txt?). im probably going to get hate for that but i honestly am i trying to like heeseung! if i’m gonna stan the iland group, i want to love all the members.

anyway, i cannot wait for the group to debut and i will definitely be supporting them!

[ghouls-dream]

Hopefully you are still taking requests, I've been too scared to send one in. I'm sorry if this is a bit vague. I love your work💞 Can I request a smutty imagine where y/n teases dewdrop by flirting with the other ghouls just to see how angry she can get him and she ends up in deep trouble with him?

Hello, sweetheart! Firstly - thank you so much for the kind words! And secondly - im so glad you got the "courage" to ask, haha. Filth is on the way! I hope you like it 🖤

Jealous Dew x Reader one-shot (WARNING!!! HELLA NSFW, 18+)

Dew's POV 

"Oh, darn it!" Rain scoffed as he saw how one of his striped balls hit the corner of the pocket, but not getting in. "Hell yeah!" I jumped happily, going near the pool table and looking at the balls' position. We loved playing pool, especially after big rituals like tonight's. That was like a routine for us. Well the ghouls mostly - The ghoulettes had their own way of relaxing, and Cardinal always prefered binge-watching "Friends" instead of having fun with us. Sometimes it fel like he was Nihil's lost son - I can't say Copia was boring, but he was quite introverted at times.

"Don't get too upset, Rain. Maybe Mr. "Pay back time" will fail. You have luck you're not playing with me" Aether teased me as I smirked, pointing with the pool stick at him "I can take all of you!". "Everyone knows that, slut!" Swiss called out from the back as he drank his beer. I rolled my eyes, due to their laughter, and tried to ignore it. After that I bent over the table, position myself to hit the white ball in front of me when I heard the door opening... Just before I was about to hit it, my eyes focused on a very particular feminine figure... Y/N. What the fuck was she doing here?!

Y/N POV

It was the night after a ritual, which automatically meant no sleeping for any of us! Well, at least Papa's witches. Why? Because our rooms were one wall apart from the Ghoul's playroom. All of us hated that - including Cumuls and Cirrus, who prefered a ladies night with us and the Sisters of sin. The Ghouls were just too loud. Especially when there was alcohol in the whole picture and tonight... Tonight there was a lot!

I looked around the sleeping girls, tossing myself again and sighed. I couldn't fall asleep, Swiss' voice was keeping me awake as well Dew's loud banging on the pool table, so I just decided to get up, put on my black lacy dress and go see what the boys were doing. Maybe even asking them to keep it a little bit more quiet. Some of us had a morning praise at 5am! And besides... I wouldn't mind seeing them. Since all of us were friends and there was no "I'm superior" barreier between us.

I walked out of the room, feeling how the slight wind was touching my skin as I grabbed the playroom's lock. Before I pushed it, I heard Swiss' voice calling someone "slut". My mind automatically connected that with Dewdrop as I smirked and let my filthy thoughts invade my brain.

As I entered the room, all of the boys turned to me. They looked shocked. Especially Rain who I could tell even felt emberassed by my look. The lacy black dress was thin enough to cover my whole body, but it was also a little bit transparent. "Weren't you supposed to be sleeping?" Mountain asked, before taking a sip from his drink and then offering me some. I refused of course and responded sarcastically "Well we all were, but some smartass decided to put your playroom next to our bedroom. Do the math". "I told you guys" Aether pointed out as I felt Dew's eyes scanning every bit of my body. He was in the middle of a shot I can tell, by his position, but he obviously gave up doing it. He stood up, leaning against the stick and growled "So what? It's not like you listen to it every night". I chuckled at his response and sat next to Swiss, who was half-laying on the red couch next to the pool table. His hand was put on the backrest as he looked over me and raised an eyebrow "So noise brings you here? It's not something or someone else?" I heard the boys' "oohs" as I smirked at him, bitting my lip and shrugged. "You never know" - I said seductively before turning my head towards Dew. His eyes were burning with... Anger? Also I wouldn’t want to be the stick he was holding. The ghoul's grip around it was almost enough to break it in half. I could tell my his knuckles, turning white. 'Or maybe I'd like to be' my mind whispered to myself. "Won't you finish the shot?" I asked, raising my eyebrow as Aether laughed "Yeah, man. I'm getting sleepy". Dewdrop rolled his eyes, positioning himself again. His swift body movements were enchanting. 

Finally the white ball hit the red one in front of it, but no luck. "Ooh, so close dude!" Mountain pointed out as Dew sighed. 'Do it! Come on!' my mind encoureged me to do the thing I've been thinking about since the moment I entered the room. I knew that it wouldn't end well, one way or another, but I couldn't care less at this point. I got up from my seat, looking at Rain who was obviously confused on how to move on with the position of the balls on the table. Before becoming part of the Church actually, I really enjoyed gaming nights with my friends - doesnt matter what type of game we'd play. I always enjoyed them. "Need help?" I smirked at the Water ghoul who shurgged his arms and gave me the stick. "That's not by the rules!" Dew's voice filled the room. I could feel he was getting angry. I raised my eyebrow and asked seductivly, before taking Rain's stick  - "And since when do YOU play by the rules?". After those words I heard another set of "oohs" before, bending over in front of Rain. I could deffinitely tell he wasn't feeling the most comfortable in that position, since my butt was touching his front, for which I felt kinda bad, but I was enjoying every bit of it since Dewdrop's anger was growing. "Have you been working out lately?" Swiss joked as I turned to him chuckling and winked back at him, answering his joke with my own "Wanna find out?".

We actually stayed in the room for almost another hour of jokes and laughter, before Aether got in charge and as being the most responisble one of the group asked us all to go to bed. I wouldn't have refused anyway, I was tired. "Yeah, I'll see you guys tomorrow" I whispered yawning, as we all started walking out of the room, before feeling someone's hand gripping my waist and preventing me from escaping. I quickly turned around before hearing the door closing behind me, as Dew stared into my eyes. " 'Wanna find out!?' Seriously!?" he hissed against my lips before crushing his onto mine. His fingers found their way into my hair as he gripped it, which caused my head to tilt back slightly, exposing my neck to him. "Are you jealous?" I teased. "Am I jealous?! I'm fucking furious, Y/N! Do you not remember the time backstage? Or the 'please don't tell Imperator about this' situation in her office?! I'm gonna make you pay, girly!" Dewdrop whispered against my ear as I felt my kneese getting weaker, with every touch he made over my body. Next to the other ghouls, he was indeed shorter, but I wasn't them. Dew was almost a head above me. His teeth found his way to my most senstive part on my neck and bit it gently, before sucking it harder. I gasped by his action, before whimpering "Fuck yes...". He wasn't even trying to be gentle at this point and every part of my body loved that! His fingers made their way to my lady parts, feeling the wetness over them as he whispered "So you'd let Swiss try this out, but not me? Wrong...". After those words I felt how his index entered me, followed by his middle finger. I didn't even have time to react i just grabbed his shoulders and moaned, as he moved them faster and faster. "Did you like bending over Rain?" he groaned against my neck, before sucking on the same spot as before. This time i felt a small wave of pain, which made me whimper. "Answer me! Did.. You... Like it?!" Dew's voice was filled with sexual rage. "Yes!" I cried out as I opened my eyes and saw him smirking, before saying "Let's see how you'd like this then". His fingers quickly escaped my body as I sealed my lips with his own, as I felt himleading me towards the pool table. His tongue was fighting for dominance in my mouth and I gladly gave him what it wanted.

After that breathtaking kiss Dew spun me around, so I was in the same position as with Rain. My heart was going to explode in my chest, my pulse was pumping so hard I felt like fainting from all the adrenaline. Before I could make up my mind I heard a belt, being unbuckled, and soon after that a firm smack on my bare butt. Dew came once again next to my ear and whispered "I'll make you regret every single thing you did that night". After those words I felt a sweet pain rushing through my body, causing me to moan loudly. He made a few thrust inside as i grabbed the wooden side of the pool table. His hand found its way in my hair once again, before gripping it tightly and pulling my body next to his. "Dew..." I moaned louder as his other hand grabbed my neck and squeezed it gently. "Yes, Y/N?" he whispered breathless into my ear, before bitting my neck again. His movements were becoming even faster as I felt that the end of both of us was close. "Tell me how much you love this... Say it!" his voice filled the room as I shouted, panting "I love it how you fuck me! Dew... Im... Please...". Few more thrust were made into me, as I felt the pleasure building inside my lower stomach. Dew then kissed my lips roughly before bitting the lower one and whispered "Come... Now!". I was more than happy to release the pleasurable tension inside me as my voice filled the room. His grip also let go of me as I heard my name escaping his mouth before feeling one final thrust. After that there was just mine and his unstable, deep breathing... Nothing more, nothing less. We were both a sweaty, aroused mess at this point and it never felt better!

Soon after I was able to come back to reality I felt his lips brushing against my bare shoulder. This time it was tender, gentle and sensual. It had nothing to do with what just happened. "Y/N... Stop driving me crazy like this. Not that I don't like it, but... I was about to beat the shit out of both Rain and Swiss" he whispered as I chuckled and turned my head to him, kissing him gently, before whispering back "My dorky firecracker..."  

[jbbuckybarnes]

Distant Connection - 4/11

Pairing: Bucky x Harmonia (OC) Warnings: a bit of angst, a lot of domestic fluff Summary: After an unknown group of goons took her mom’s life and tried to get her for the dark magic powers she possesses, this untaught witch is saved by the Avengers and brought to the compound where her new life unfolds.

MASTERLIST || Distant Connection Masterlist

It was 7am and he slept approximately 2 hours out of 7. He went down the hallway to Harmony’s room to maybe get a little bit more rest with her in his arms. She was like a pill against every PTSD symptom for him. Except for the occasional panic attack. He opened the door silently like the assassin he was trained to be and saw her all spread out in her bed. It was chaotic in her room since she was still getting used to being here. His eyes fell onto the notebook on her desk. There was a painting of his metal hand resting on top of the book laying on his lap. A scene from a from a few hours earlier. He silently grabbed the sketchbook and read the note under it. *This is what makes you human ❤* A soft smile made its way into his face. He flipped backwards and saw a sketch of her in Steve’s style with a note in his handwriting under it. Slowly, he continued the journey through all the pages. Each page holding a special emotion. A watercolor of Steve with the words *stay safe*, detailed little flowers, the common area with *this is where the biggest dorks on earth meet* written below it, a painting of him with black eyes and a smile and his words *I don’t want you to destroy yourself to help others*, blue magic - *getting better at this*, a sketch of him sleeping with the note *You look like you are yourself when you sleep ❤*, an unfinished sketch looking like a gruesome scene with a *I’m so sorry I couldn’t keep you safe*, another sketch of him including a short *You feel like home ❤*, a sketch of the library in the compound - *study area*, sketches of clothing, two people hugging - *human connection never changes*, more little girly sketches, two people kissing - *someday.*

It clearly was chronological and it almost made him cry to see her quote their conversations in the notes. Especially the one under the painting of him with black eyes. He shook his head, men like him don’t cry...at least that what he was trying to make himself believe. He looked at the desk with supplies all over it and decided to sit down and also draw her something even if it looked horrible. He really put effort into drawing their hands from a few hours earlier when he realized he was completely falling for her. He put a little arrow to her hand *small cute hand* and an arrow to his *giant metal hand* and wrote a little note after he finished *my little witch - thank you for making me feel like the person I am ❤* After looking behind him and still seeing her sleep he decided to go back to his room again. He won’t be sleeping after seeing her sketches anyway.

She woke up at 10am with the first thing coming to her mind being his emotional state she could sense with her powers yesterday. It threw her off so much that he felt so intensely loving towards her. She put on different clothes, showered and got ready and while she put her art supplies back into her little bag she saw a new page opened in her sketchbook. She inspected it further and saw a semi-good sketch of two hands and the note *my little witch - thank you for making me feel like the person I am ❤* “He saw everything in this sketchbook with the little notes.” She whispered in shock. She didn’t know if she should be mad at him for looking through her things or if she should be thankful ‘cause he seemed to feel the same way she did. Safe, connected, a little bit in love. The latter making her shudder at its unrealness. Nobody ever made her feel so at home and deeply connected in such a short amount of time. Harmony smirked as her brain formed a little plan.

She opened and closed her door loudly which made the boys down her hallway look outside their doors. “James Buchanan Barnes!” She said loud and clear with madness on her face. Steve and Clint looked behind them at James’ face that started to look like a big *Oh shit, what have I done.* “You went through my sketchbook without asking!” She yelled strutting towards him. The other boys clearly excited about someone finally stepping up to the assassin of the century. “I can explain.”He said with wide eyes. “Oh boy, you’re about to get your ass beaten.” Sam yelled from the next hallway and everyone collectively yelled back “Shut up Sam!” She grabbed James’ arm and dragged him to the elevators and into the first one that opened. After the door closed and they went down for a bit she pressed the stop button. “I’m sorry. I was just...I couldn’t sleep anymore and wanted to go to your room to get some more rest and then I saw it laying there wide open and I couldn’t keep my hands off of it.” He was actually afraid of her. The assassin of the century was afraid of her. “I mean it’s nice to see that The Winter Soldier is afraid of me, but I actually just wanted to scare you and tell you that the drawing is actually not that bad and I know that you’re having feelings for me cause I felt your emotions yesterday while doing my magic...and I just wanted to get you in here to do this without Steve being able to hear it.” She said before cupping his face, standing on her tiptoes and connecting their lips. He tasted like coffee and aftershave. His metal hand made its way into her hair while his other hand pressed her body closer to him. They moved apart completely overwhelmed at what just happened. “I should’ve told you when I had the chance yesterday but I didn’t know if it was too early or if you even felt the same and the sketchbook...answered that for me.” He continued to explain. “You’re still scared?” She asked chuckling. “You don’t understand how fucking frightening you look when you’re mad,” he mumbled looking down at her with semi-traumatized eyes. Both of them broke out into laughter before she hugged him. “You really feel like home. You did right from the start.”

With one hand around her waist he leaned forward and undid the emergency stop of the elevator with the happiest smile on his face. They needed to go all the way down before going up again so they had a little bit of time to chat. “You’re so good at art. Better than Steve may I add,” he said, grabbing her hand since she was still standing in front of him. Shortly after, she positioned herself beside him looking towards the elevator door that had just opened shortly after. “I would say we’re both on the same level. You can come to our next art session if you want.” She smiled up at him. “You have art sessions?” He asked confused. “When he went to the tower to be around the school kids I also went there and we just ended up drawing together. That’s why I have a sketch of myself in my notebook.” She had a content and permanent smile now. “Okay, before this thing opens I need to say one last thing,” he said after a short pause, “I didn’t feel like this since the early 40s. I was so confused feeling this. Sorry for concerning you yesterday.” Her thumb went over the back of his hand “Everything’s fine, soldier boy.” “Don’t call me that, little witch,” he said nudging her slightly with a big smile on his face before the elevator made a noise and their faces went back to normal.

The door opened and she rolled her eyes with a quick “Idiot” and a smile. The boys were still standing there and looked at the door opening in sync. “As if she is already back at normal again. I wanted to see him shocked like a deer when the door opens!” Clint joked around. Harmony took her hand away and walked towards them with a soft “You still need to sleep?” towards James which was answered with a headshake. “Your arm’s looking good Stevie,” she said while walking past them and pulling James into her room leaving the two boys with pure confusion. “Is Sam always such a weirdo? He seems fine as soon as you aren’t involved,” she asked him and got a wheeze back. “He likes to tease me here and there. Especially when I’m in trouble or ask for things,” he answered with a smile. “Well, he’s the last person that I’ll befriend here. What are your thoughts about Wanda, Vision and Nat? Better options?” She smiled and grabbed both arms of his. “Definitely better than Sam.” He chuckled putting his hands on her waist and silently kissing her forehead. “What do you think would be the best moment to talk to Wanda?” She asked with a normal voice but clearly gesturing between them and pointing to her door. “I’d wait a while...it’s about timing I guess,” he answered and got a smile back that healed a part of his soul he didn’t know existed. “Wanna train with me a bit?” she asked with a smile grabbing her book bag that she always had with her while doing magic now. “I never say no to watching you create magic.” he smiled back taking her hand with his metal one. She stepped forwards a little to give him a little silent kiss on his cheek “Well, let’s go then.”

This time she felt capable enough to try defense mechanisms with him. Green magic blocked him from getting to her or stopped his hands from moving every time he tried getting too close to “hitting” her. He felt a bit bad trying to hit her in the first place but she wanted to learn how to save herself if she ever was attacked again. She still lived with the fear that they were trying to get her. She currently was sitting on his shoulders after dodging him and looked at him upside down with a giggle “Hi.” “You are a fucking dork.” he smiled before she gave him a little kiss and catapulted him over herself with magic and landed normally. “Ouch.” he said while standing up again and having his metal arm readjusting itself. “You’re too easy to charm soldier boy.” she said with a cute smile on her face. “Don’t get too proud about being my weakness.” he chuckled. “Oh, I’m not. Actually quite the opposite. Never good to have a weakness like me. Means you need to protect it extra good so the person doesn’t get used against you.” she smirked. He stopped in his tracks suddenly feeling suspicion. “Wait…” he said now looking at her in disbelief. “Oh my god, NO! How can you think that! I actually meant what I said.” she yelled after realizing what he thought. “Sorry, I just...you’re looking into my mind like an open book and that sounded off and...there are a lot of cases where this was happening.” he tried to explain. “I could brainwash and kill all of you in seconds if I wanted to. That was never- You know what? Forget it.” she was a little bit upset and walked towards the door but he caught up and hugged her from behind. “You asked me yesterday if I trust you.” he started and moved her so he could look her into her eyes, “I do. I really do. But suspicion is part of my job. Trust is something you build.” he finished. “I trusted you with my life as soon as we talked.” she said still upset. “I do too...shouldn’t have questioned what you said. I’m sorry.” he mumbled against her forehead before kissing it.

After a long hug she broke the silence with a “Can I punch you? You kinda deserve it right now.” He broke into laughter “Sure, your tiny hands won’t do much without magic.” “Those tiny hands still know where it hurts. And those tiny elbows too.” she said punching his throat, turning, pressing her elbow into his sternum and pressing him to the ground from his crouched position. “I know you didn’t defend yourself because you don’t wanna hurt me but that was kinda fun.” she giggled with him laying on the floor looking up at her with a weak smile. “Where did you learn that?” he asked genuinely interested switching to laying on his back. “Self defense class. Had enough time to think about where to hit you. And you didn’t wear any protection. I wish you did cause these legs can kick.” she smiled. “Want me to teach you more of that if you ever need it in an actual spontaneous situation?” he asked sitting up. “Sure, but don’t get too turned on.” she said with a wink knowing how close they would be for next hour or two. “I have you on me like a koala 50% of the time. Do you really think I can’t control myself?” he said rolling his eyes. She got close and whispered “I’m unconscious 90% of that time, remember?” to tease him. The next two hours were filled with body warmth, punches and little kisses.

“Imma steal away all the lunch so you won’t get it.” she said in a childish tone as they left the training room and started running with a giggle. “I’ll get you!” he said daring and since he knew he was about thrice as fast as her if he really tried but he held himself back to match her speed. He grabbed her waist just before she could reach the door of the common area and threw her over his back which was matched with a squeal. He walked into the room with an unfazed look on his face and her squealing “James, that’s not fair play. Let me down!” The team mates that were in the room eating looked at this scene with surprise and James looked at them with a proud smirk. “How about I eat all the pasta by myself and you don’t get anything because I won.” he said with full asshole mode and a smile. The whole room went silent before he could feel his underwear being pulled up way too high and a round of laughter from the table behind him. “Don’t mess with a witch, she will always find a way.” Wanda said laughing. He let her down in front of him and shook his head “Dork.” She gave a short smile back before turning to the food and hearing the team start talking again. “Can we eat in my room?” she asked as quiet as possible and a little hum came back at her.

They both sat down on her big bed shortly after with their pasta and drinks. Their eyes met with a smile and a small “I love you, you idiot.” from her side before she started eating. It wasn’t a totally serious ‘I love you’ but it still hit him. His eyes didn’t leave her while eating, he was mesmerized by how effortlessly soft she looked while doing anything and he wondered if she would draw something from today. “Everything alright?” she asked after noticing him staring. “Yeah, you’re just...really mesmerizing.” he said softly with a short smile at her. “A witch being MESMERizing.” she giggled and put her empty plate aside before looking at his “Stop staring, start eating. Don’t want you to starve big boy.” she giggled again. He looked down at a half empty plate and continued eating while she grabbed her phone to play with it. There was a pleasant silence in the room and a soft smile on her face while she was scrolling through social media timelines. The only thing audible was the fork hitting the plate from time to time. Until it stopped again and he put the plate onto the other one. She was deep into reading something which gave him the opportunity to hover on top of her out of nowhere. She looked up from her screen “Oh hi! Didn’t see you there giant man.” she giggled and was silenced by a kiss. It was soft but full of passion making her close her eyes and letting her phone fall to the side to reach up to his neck. She answered with more feelings and longing which made his heart burst inside his chest before his kiss got very desperate and full of lust making her moan very softly. He broke the makeout session apart after hearing this, not out of concern, but because he felt it was inappropriate to go that far right now. He didn’t feel like he knew her well and long enough for that. Falling for her and kissing her already had been a process that moved way too fast. She made a sound of discomfort “It just got fun.” she mumbled and earned a loving smile from him. “I need to feel this out again, okay? You deserve all the respectful treating in the world little witch.” he said giving her a little kiss on the nose. “You’re cuter than you look. D’you know that?” she asked him softly and got a little chuckle back “Yeah.”

[prorevenge]

Hurt my friend? I'll force you to drop out of college

So in my first year of university, I lived in a flat with five other girls. Next-door to our flat was a studio flat, where one girl lived alone. During the first week, she joined our flat for a party, and became friends with all six of us. Let's call her Mary. Mary had been long-term dating a boy who lived in another county in an open relationship. She was very fun to be around, and we all got on really well.

Time goes by and she visits us regularly for company. Through this she ends up meeting most of my friends, including my best friend, who we'll call Sarah (as she has a part to play in this story). Mary opens up about her shitty family, and how her parents never taught her to cook anything -- so me being me, I offer for her to come round one night and I'll teach her how to cook her first meal. We agree on a simple stir fry to start us off, and I bought the ingredients. On the night, she tells me about her relationship; and how she's looking to experiment with specifically women (and how her bf had given her permission); and how she found asian people particularly attractive. She was well aware that me and my friend group are mostly LGBT girls, and I'm pretty clearly asian. I'm a kind of stereo-typically attractive woman; and have experienced similar uncomfortable situations with men many times... so without her directly asking in the first place, I made it clear I wasn't into doing that and she happily told me that was totally okay.

She tells me about her passion for becoming a nurse, and more about her bf; and how she gets a little jealous sometimes, causing her to look through his phone often when they're together. That struck me as really unhealthy, so I told her it was. She found it weird I thought it was a bad thing to do. That should have been a huge red flag for me there and then, but I'm a big idiot who always tries to see the best in people. I tell her to maybe stop that habit and just trust him (as the way she talked about it made her sound like she was an r/ nicegirl who somehow scored with some poor pushover of a dude and it worried me a bit).

As the night goes on, my flatmates all arrive and hang out. When everyone was there, Mary let as know that our front door closes really loud when we leave it to shut automatically, and directly through the wall was her bed. It wakes her up often, so we should always slowly, manually close the door ourselves so as not to wake her up ever (she gets very tired as she's doing a nursing degree with crazy hours). We all agree to do this for her because it's not much effort for us, and the night ends.

Fast forward a few months and I need to find a place to live in my second year of university. I go looking for houses with Mary, as Sarah was staying in the same place for the next year and all my current flatmates had already arranged stuff (I had left it late like a fool). A lot of my friends had spare places in flats, but like Mary I was going to try to rent in a house, so we go to visit a 2-person small house on the nice side of town with her parents. It's lovely, I can *just* afford it and everything's fine except Mary keeps getting angry with her parents for what looked like no good reason. I would understand some hostility if you grew up with such a bad family, but she was actively berating and shouting at her parents in front of the estate agent. I don't know why I overlooked it... probably because my own family wasn't great and I still thought that much negativity was okay? Fuck, I dunno.

The estate agents' office we went to seemed a little dodgy, which made me feel uneasy. Mary desperately wanted a place to live though as she had nobody else to go with (in hindsight I freaking wonder why); and she pressured me very hard to sign. So I reluctantly do the tenancy agreement, and we're set to move in next year, no backing out now, deposit laid, all that. I'm a little nervous, but I'm convinced Mary has some good in her heart and that she can learn to be a better person while we live together with my love and encouragement. She likes my company because I'm always trying to put a smile on her face even when she's down, and I'm hoping she'll learn she can be happy when she's with the right people for her.

She tells me that she doesn't let her boyfriend interact with other girls, and she doesn't let me see him when he visits. She outright asks me to try sexual stuff with her a few times over the months, using her depression as a pity card. I say no each time, and worry starts to grow inside me about how I was going to have to move in with this person... I felt grateful our bedroom doors would have locks on them.

My flatmates started getting uncomfortable around her. They were all straight, and her lowkey sexual behaviour towards them made them ask me if that was okay; and made me irritated that she was reinforcing that whole gay-predator stereotype on them. We were her only friends though, so I told everyone to just try and help her learn to be better, as long as they were okay and comfortable with that. My kind flatmates all did just that, bless them! The fact Mary was getting good influences from these people boosted my assurance that she'd break out of her toxic attitude just like how I and so many other people did as teens.

One night, I get a message from Mary. She says she's feeling incredibly depressed, and asks if she could come over for company. It was late as hell, so I just left it on unread and went back to trying to sleep. About half an hour later, I hear scuffling coming from the other side of the wall, where Mary's apartment is; something very unusual. I felt bad for ignoring her message, but I was tired and couldn't bear any of her burdens tonight, so I let it go and went to sleep. We were meeting the next day anyway to discuss our housing situation for next year over a cup of tea.

The following morning, I wake up to see a BILLION messages from Sarah. Apparently, Mary called Sarah over since Mary was feeling depressed and needed company. Sarah is a strong and tough person, but our first year of university was a stressful time for her and her head was a bit of a mess, and she was uncomfortable in her own body. Even though it was late, she went over to Mary's place, where it was weirdly boiling hot (Mary cranked up the central heating no doubt). This meant Sarah had to strip down to just her tank top... and I won't spare you the details, but Mary peer-pressured Sarah into getting into Mary's double bed together in a "girly sleepover" type way, and then did something very illegal. Sarah didn't know what to do, and was too scared to leave afterwards. She had a horrible, horrible night; and sneaked out once Mary was asleep.

I'm a passionate person, I'd say, but I'm not generally angry. I learned that when you look like me, nobody takes you seriously when you get angry. However, I was shamelessly pissed off. Mary was being a pretty bad friend recently, and that final act of shittiness set me COMPLETELY over the edge and then some.

Despite that, Sarah took priority. I messaged the flat group chat with a "block Mary on social media, I'll explain when I get back," while Sarah and I went to the student support office and explained everything. She was traumatised as hell, and seeing strong Sarah completely break down over something Mary had done made me absolutely fucking livid. I felt this crazy mix of sadness, pity, and pure rage; seeing my sweet best friend in such a state. She did nothing wrong and had been going through some tough times - it was the last thing on earth she needed. She didn't want to press charges as her family had no money, there was nothing she could do.

I needed to get out of the tenancy agreement for next year. I was absolutely kicking myself for signing it in the first place. I went into that estate agents' office with little-to-no plan, other than "get out in any way possible, even if it means flirting your way through." It wasn't pretty and I felt awful, but somehow, I managed. I was free from living with her at the expense of my day and dignity, which made me even more pissed off.

The arranged time of our meeting at her apartment was approaching. I was well-aware of how I'd just absolutely fucked her over for next year by backing out of that tenancy agreement. I was fine though, I had several offers from friends in apartments to come live with them, so I just had to say goodbye to the idea of living in a house. Outside the corner where her and my front doors to our apartments are, I send a message to my flat's chat saying I won't be long and I'm almost home. I knock on Mary's door, and she lets me in. The sight of her face makes me want to spontaneously combust right there, but for the sake of my pacifist lifestyle, I hold it together. Inside her flat, I calmly tell her that because of what she did I would not be moving in with her next year, and the tenancy agreement was terminated.

She EXPLODES at me, and outright denies everything. That made my blood boil; I trust Sarah with my life and the experience of her relieving all that nasty crap was fucking harrowing. All I had done was make Mary food and talk about life with her and try to help her be better and thought she was making progress, but she was going MENTAL at ME after SHE had done one of the worst things you can do, saying personal things like "Are you fucking kidding me?! You ended it with ME because of what some OTHER person said, without talking to ME about it!?? What does that say about YOU?! What kind of person does that make YOU? How selfish do you have to be?!" And then some more personal stuff about how I'm a failure as a student and my choice in academia would lead me nowhere and how I look ugly, stuff that would really hurt your self esteem if you're not ridiculously self-assured like I am. It pissed me off even more that she would try to hurt me into thinking I was wrong, though. Some lovely toxic manipulation right there.

So for the first time since I was a kid, I lost it at someone. I let loose on all the things I disliked about her; yelled back that she was a terrible person for what she did to her boyfriend, for not seeing anything wrong with what she did to Sarah, for being manipulative as hell, and she was lucky the police weren't up her ass right now. I told her to fuck off, that she wasn't getting anything from me or my flat any more, that she was never going to be a nurse with a personality like that; and then, on a really awful personal note... that she was crazy for doing something so fucking awful just because she wasn't hot enough to score with me or Sarah.

I saw her expression twist, and it was the ugliest I'd ever seen anyone look. She reached an ultrasonic pitch screeching stuff at me, but I just stormed out her flat while she was still talking.

Back in my flat, I see 4/5 flatmates at the kitchen table with cups of tea, waiting for me. They asked me how it went... and I told them we were ignoring Mary from now on, because if any of them wanted to talk to her, I'd want to cut them out of my life as well. The sighs of relief from the table filled me with sweet validation. Then, the last flatmate loudly arrives through the front door. Mary is crying and wailing behind her at the other side of the doorway. We watch flatmate 6 pose dramatically as the huge, heavy door swings shut behind her with a massive SLAM. The racket Mary makes becomes quiet and muffled. Flatmate smiles at us, and we all cheer and yell and hug together.

After that, we didn't bother gently closing the door for her, and since we knew her timetable, scheduled parties for her prime sleeping time; where lots of people would be loudly storming in and out the flat and music would be blasting. I don't even like parties, lmao.

Because she did that, Mary now has no friends, no sleep, and no accommodation for the upcoming year. We told her boyfriend what she had done via facebook, so no boyfriend too.

Her academic life was effectively ruined from then on. The lack of sleep meant her grades and attendance plummeted. Her personal life was completely dead all of a sudden. We didn't care, and kept doing whatever we wanted with no consideration for her life. She dropped out of university before the semester ended, and I haven't heard from her since.

I just finished my dissertation in some macroevolutionary morphological analysis, and my side-hobby as an illustrator on the internet is doing so well now (this is a side-acc so you'll never know who I am :P) that I don't need a job any more to pay for everything while I'm studying. Sarah fell in love with a beautiful girl and they've been dating for over a year now, she's doing amazing and has already been accepted into postgraduate study with near-perfect grades.

(source) story by (/u/mifukichan)

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

That Girl Will Never Be Mine (Taehyung x You ONESHOT)

A/N: I always feels Tae is a possesive lover too. I always feel that because he is so good looking and also an incredible person, he (or people) might think that he will get whoever he likes but I think he will somehow fall in love with a girl who didnt fall for him at first sight like most and had to actually work to get her. So, I love your idea of "shes so beautiful, she has a lot of suitors" because a little competition andd a jealous tae? Well, that sounds like a plotline to me ❤ and I am sorry if this is not my best work

Also,this is inspired by this  drabble with the same title. You can read the drabble here first or just continue reading this story 💜

MASTERLIST

A/N : And also, I’m trying a new thing here and you are in no way obligated to do it but if any of you like my stories and want to give some support, why not buy me a coffee? ☕💜

Taehyung waves off to the screaming fans one last time before the stage recline down, hiding all seven members from the crowd, his face etches from smiling.

"Good job guys! Another successful show, I am proud of you," Namjoon patted each of their backs and ruffles Jungkook's hair before bowing and thanking the rest of the staff, crew and their team for another successful concert in their tour. The other six members, including Taehyung did the same and retreats back to the dressing room, slumping hinself on the chair. Taehyung took out his phone as the others starts chit chatting, discussing about whether they should take a shower now of wait until they are back in their hotel room while some are already removing their makeup and changing out of their stage outfits. Taehyung glanced at his phone.

Of course.

Dozens of texts and misscalls, hundreds of notifications, but none from that one person that he actually want to hear from.

None from Y/N.

Taehyung lets out a frustrated sigh as he scrolls emotionlessly through the texts.

"Oh wow, hyung got a lot of booty calls," Jungkook laughs as he reads Taehyung's text over his shoulder. "Baby, call me after your concert. Taetae, my room number is 801, Tae, remember me?" Jungkook read the texts in a girly voice, mimicking the flocks of girls who left the texts.

"Shut up brat," Taehyung roll his eyes and tossed the phone on the dressing table.

"Why are you so grumpy? Maybe you should take on one of those invitation then, to ease up a little hyung," Jungkook laughs and went over to his station.

"No thanks. Not interested,"

"Kookie, you should know by now Tae is only interested in girls who is not interested in him," Namjoon laughs out loud. Taehyung glares at the leader through the mirror.

Fine, make fun of him. He dont care.

"Why is it so hard to even reply to any of my texts? I left her multiple before we started the show!" Taehyung grumble.

"Shes just not interested in you Tae. Wake up already!" Jimin chimes in. "Dont you ever think that you didnt see her because shes practically hiding from you? Shes not interested, move on already,"

"She might not be now, but I'll make sure she will be mine soon enough," Taehyung greeted his teeth with determination.

"We just finished a good show. A bunch of girls just passed out because you look their way and Y/N is the first thing you can think about?"

"Shes always what I'm thinking about Chim! I dont care how many girls want me, all I want is her. Urghh, what is it about me that she hates so much anyway?" Taehyung leans towards the mirror and examine himself. Why wont Y/N like him? What is he lacking? "Thats it, I'm calling her!"

"Suit yourself. We all know theres no point in stopping you anyway," Jimin shrugged and walks away.

Taehyung immediately reached out for his phone that he tossed earlier and press speed dial number one.

Mine ❤

After a few rings, Y/N picks up. Well, she kind of have to. They are friends. Its not weird for her to answer his calls  Although Taehyung wants nothing more than to be more than friends ever since he met her that first day BigHit sent him and Jimin to their new highschool. Just a shy, absolutely beautiful, art student. Taehyung who was usually easy going and friendly suddenly turned tounge tied when hes around her, but someway, some how, he managed to be friends and the two of them and a few other friends become a whole group of besties. That was way back, and what Taehyung hope to only be a highschool crush develop into a full on feeling of in love.

Kim Taehyung is in love with Y/N, and its either she didnt know it or pretended that she doesnt.

"Hello? Y/N?" The line was noisy on the other side. Is she outside? If she does, with who? Not with men right? Why didnt she tell him shes going out? He texted her all the time to tell her what hes doing. Eating, praticiting, shooting, recording, everything!

"Tae? Taehyung! Hiiii! I thought you are busy on tour! Why are you calling?" Y/N's voice sounded chirpy, and it immediately melts his heart. All thoughts of anger melted away. Thats how big of an impact Y/N has on him.

"The concert just finished..." he grins. Baby. Urghh he wanted so bad to say those words to her, to call her that, but he knows he cant. Y/N only sees him as a friend. For now. "Didnt you read any of my texts?" he questioned out loud, wandering why didnt be received any reply from her.

"Oh sorry Tae. I'm outside with the gang and I didnt expect you to call, or text me, since you are on tour and all," Y/N giggles. "Oh my god, you should have seen Jae hyun! What he did was so funny! He-"

"Why is it so noisy? Iant it late at night there? Are you at a bar? Are you out drinking? Since when do you even drink?! When are you coming home?" Taehyung cuts her off, not interested to know about Jae Hyun or any other guy for that matter, especially one that is making her laugh. He should be the only one who makes her laugh!

"Well, the gang are. You know I dont drink Tae," Y/N giggles. "Why are you calling?"

Her question turn Taehyung's mood turned sour immediately. Here he is, missing her like crazy even in the middle of tour, in the mjddle of a super busy schedule and she dont even bother to read his text on the account of being outside having fun with some guy? Sure, Jae Hyun is one of his bestfriends too. In fact, he is sure Y/N is hanging out with their usual gang, but its not fair how they are outside living their normal life with Y/N and he is here, stuck performing. He wants to go out with Y/N too!

Yeah, people say hes lucky. To be debuting, to have a great career and awesome brothers as his band members and sure, Taehyung is happy and grateful too. But if only Y/N is his, then his life would be perfect. Y/N and him used to be the closest duo in their group but all that changes after he debuted. Packed, busy schedules take his time away from his friends, and Y/N and little by little they drifted apart, and now, with his packed schedule all year round, he dont know if he can recreate the closeness between him and Y/N again. Oh, how he wished his longing and feelings for her dissapeared just like their closeness.

Its true what Jungkook said. He can have his pick from the various girls in his phonebook, but none of them can even come close to how Y/N makes him feel.

"I'm just calling my best friend. Is that wrong?" Taehyung snapped. "If that best friend bothered to checked and replied my texts, hundreds of them, I wouldnt have to call now would I?"

"Tae... I'm sorry. I really didnt noticed, and I was just asking," Y/N's sighed sadly. "Why are you angry at me? Please dont be ang-"

"Just forget it! Have fun with the boys!" Taehyung angrily hangs up the call, huffing.

He knows he shouldnt be mad. Heck, he has no right to be mad, they are friends, and Y/N is not obligated to reply lr answer his calls if she didnt want to, but thats how it always is. He got angry when he thinks about how she is fine without him. He gets mad when he thinks about every second shes with someone else and not him. He didnt talk to any of his friends for a month once when Y/N has a boyfriend for two weeks before.

Afterall, he is Kim Taehyung. Theres nothing he hates more than what he cant have. and right now, thats Y/N.

/////

Y/N sighed and slipped her phone back in her bag.

"Is that your boyfriend?" Her best friend giggles, knowing how uncomfortable Y/N will be when she calls Taehyung that.

"He is not my boyfriend!" Y/N denies quickly. "But yes, its Taehyung,"

"I really dont get you Y/N. Kim Taehyung wants you. The Kim Taehyung! And you rejects him? Boy, you are really something else," her friend shakes her head. "The best friend turned idol slash international superstar and still madly in love with the best friend from high school only happens in fan fictions Y/N, and yet here you are. Happening right to you, and you rejected him? What is so wrong with Taehyung anyway?" She looks straight into Y/N's eyes trying to find and answer. When she find none, she shrugs. "Just, I dont know, think about it okay? Maybe its not such a bad idea, to be with him,"

"What are you even talking about? Taehyung is my best friend. Our, best friend," Y/N looks at her in disbelief. All of them hangs out together since they were teenagers doing homework together, its not possible for Taehyung to likes her. Especially now when he practically owna the world. Most of their friends had said that Taehyung harbour feelings for her, but that couldnt be true right? They are just friends. Have been for a long time even before Taehyung debuted. Sure, he was a trainee when they met and Y/N enjoyed being his friend. Sure, they were the closest duo before, maube Taehyung is a bit fond of her rather thab the others, but in love? Y/N chuckle to herself. It cant be.

She cant deny that Taehyung is really good looking, funny, charming, attractive and owns all the others positive things about him. and at one point in their friendship, she did have a crush on him. The two of them were so close when they first met. They did everything together, they are the typical high school bestfriends that are inselarable. But after Taehyung debuted.. well, thats when things starts to change for them. Is it his busy schedule or is it his changing attitude now that he is an idol that makes them drift apart, she cant tell, but one thing is for sure, the feelings she thinks she had before has dissapeared.

"Yeah, a friend. To us, not to you Y/N. I am pretty sure he wants to be more than that," Soo Young grins.

"No he doesnt! You know Tae is nice! He treat all his friends nicely," Y/N shrieks, but she knows its no point. They jabe had this argument a million times before.

"He is nice but I dont see hundreds of text from him in my inbox. Or sudden anger when I hang with a bunch of guys," she smirks. "Just face it will ya? Kim Taehyung loves you, and definitely more than just a friend,"

"Stop it Soo Young, he does not!" Y/N tries to deny it, but looking at the text Taehyung just sent her, Y/N got a feeling that somehow maybe her friend is right.

I'm sorry for snapping at you Y/N. I am just tired with tour and I miss you. I miss you very much and it just.. you know.. affect my mood. I'll call you early tomorrow morning okay?

Xoxo, Tae

/////

Taehyung woke up early the next morning, which is unusual for him, especially the morning after a full blown concert. But sleep is not an option when all he can think about is Y/N and how he unnecessarily snapped at her last night. Granted, he did this so many times already. His jealousy always takes over and he always ended up snapping at her, which leave him with a big sense of regret later.  But he just cant control himself. Taehyung just wants Y/N all for himself.

Sure, he sent her a text saying sorry. And he waited for hours for her reply. Just a simple OK would do, but none. Y/N didnt reply anything. Is she that mad at him? Did his jealousy finally blew his relationship, if there was even any, over?

Taehyung sighed and ran his hand through his hair before reaching up for his phone.

1 new message.

With excitement and sheer hope, Taehyung quickly click it open, hoping and praying that it would be Y/N.

And sure it is, there, the name he waited so all night to grace his screen appeared.

Mine ❤

Even better, it wasnt just a text, but a photo. A photo of her beautiful face smiling at the camera, which looks like shes inside a plane, with a ticket held up covering half her face, showing the destination. Taehyung scrolled down to read the caption, heart racing.

Sorry Taetae, I fell asleep lastnight the moment I got home. Me and the gang are on our way to you ❤ we are attending your tour! Surprise! See you in a few hours.

Is this reall happening? Shes not angry at him. She coming to see him!

Y/N is coming to see him perform! Taehyung grins widely to himself, letting out a deep chuckle without realizing. He has never felt this happy in his whole life.

Y/N is coming to see him! Nevermind that shes coming with the whole gang, that part was long forgotten by Taehyung already. This is finally going to be the best tour ever!

/////

"Hey Tae, I think your schoolnates are here. They managed to pushed through and be at the front," Hoseok turns back to Taehyung after peeking through the curtain from the backstage. Its minutes to their concert for that night, at the crowd is packed, expected of another sold out concert, but Taehyung cant seems to stop talking about how his "gang" from school is coming tonight, so Hoseok cant resist but to give it a peak.

"Hobi, I think you got it wrong. Tae doesnt care about his friends. What matters is, is Y/N there?" Namjoon chuckles as Taehyung gives him a glare.

"Yah, I care about both my friends and Y/N hyung. Okay fine, I care about Y/N a little more," he grins. "Is she there Hobi-hyung?"

"Cant see really clearly, but I think so, yes Tae," Hoseok rolls his eyes. All of the boys knows what Y/N looks like by now. Well, they should, with how much Taehyung talks about her, showing her pictures to them. "This is going to be the best show you will ever give dont you Kim Taehyung?" Hoseok smirks.

"What are you even talking about?" Taehyung shrugs, feigning ignorance. "I always give my best performance hyung,"

"Yeah?" Hoseok looks at the younger man, who is grinning from ear to ear and laughs. "If you say so Tae. But I can tell tonight is going to be better," he chuckles.

Its obvious to everyone, Kim Taehyung is absolutely whipped by his own classmate. A girl who he will never get.

/////

Taehyung felt giddy all over. He cant wait to start. He have all this energy in him and he just cant stop smiling. This is the first time Y/N actually came and see him perform live. Sure, she and the gang has watched his performances on tape and videos before, but shes right here, in front of him, at the front row of his concert. There might be thousands filling up the stadium tonight, but Taehyung already knows that his eyes will only be seeing one person throughout the night.

/////

His eyes search the crowd the moment they entered the stage, followed by a huge roar of shouts and applause from the crowd. But nothing can distract him from locking his eyes on Y/N tonight. He expects to see her looking at him, smiling and waving, cheering him on, fueling his energy and passion more, but what did he see?

Y/N is not even looking at the stage.

In fact, shes busy talking, no, giggling, like a school girl in front of their crush with some guy who is standing beside her.

What the actual hell?

Taehyung is pretty sure he dont know him. He must be some random fan attending the concert. But why is he obviously flirting with his girl? Just like what he intended to do, Taehyung cant stop keeping his eyes of them, although its more glaring at the two of them rather than looking at Y/N now. And seriously, those two just wont stop laughing and talking. Why does this always happen? Why does she have to be so freaking beautiful? Attracting guys anywhere she went?! Taehyung growls to himself.

This is not a coffee shop for them to have a date! Its a damn concert.

So watch the damn concert already!

"Tae!" Namjoon hissed at him backstage as the 6 of them retrieve back to give space for Jungkook's solo. "What the hell is going on?"

"What do you mean hyung?" Taehyung sighed and plop down on one of the couches, gulping down a bottle of water  . He knows exactly what Namjoon is talking about, but there is no way he is going to admit that.

"Oh please, you know exactly what I am talking about. Keep your head in the show Tae. And stop screwing up!" Namjoon huffed and walked away. Taehyung sighed. He knows he should focus on the show, its only for two hours, but how can he when the girl of his dream is right in front of him, and shes not even looking at him?

Taehyung tried to concentrate for the rest of the show, but failed miserably. He missed a lot of the cheography, accidentally hit the other members on stage, causing them to stumble and even forget a few of the lyrics. All the while, glaring and shooting daggers at Y/N and the guy's direction. Sure, his fans thinks its cute and assume that its part of the performance, some even say Taehyung is giving off an angry vibe which is considered hot and sexy, but the other members knows better and by the end of the show, all of them shakes their head and shot him a look of dissapointment.

Taehyung sighed, dissapointed at himself for letting a girl mess with his head as he takes off his makeup and change out of his stage costumes.

"Taetaeeee! Your performance is amazing!"

Taehyung whipped his head around to see the girl that is haunting his life  smiling and beaming cheerfully at him. Shit, how can he forgot he invited her to backstage later. He even offered to take Y/N out for coffee after the show and send her home and why is it he suddenly feel his anger start to dissapear just from aeeing her face?

No, keep your ground Taehyung. She should know what she did!

"Really?" Taehyung snickered. "How can you know?"

"Huh? What do you mean Tae?" Y/N took a step forward and looks at him with confusion.

"You said my performance is great. How did you even know? You are so busy selling yourself to some guy you just met!" Taehyung is full of anger now that the image of the two of them flashes back into his mind.

"What? Taehyung. Why are you saying things like this? He is just a new f-"

"I dont want to hear it," Taehyung raised a hand to stop her. "Know what, just go home Y/N. Im tired and Im going to have some rest," Taehyung starts to pick up his bag and start to walk out but Y/N held back his hand.

"Tae, whats wrong? You said we can go out to coffee to catch up or something remember?"

"Do you think I'm in the mood to have coffee right now Y/N?!" Taehyung pulls backs his hand aggressively.  "Just go home! Ill see you later,"

"But Tae. I-"

"Just go. Bye," without listening to another word from Y/N, Taehyung walks out, slamming the door behind him, missing what Y/N said next.

"But Tae.. I have asked everyone else to go back and I have no way to go home now.." Y/N sighed and slowly makes her way out into the dark night, figuring her way back to her hotel and why Taehyung is acting that way.

/////

"Where are you going hyung?" Jungkook stretches on the couch and look at Taehyung whos wearing his jacket, ready to go out.

"I am having lunch with all my friends who came to the show last night. Ill be back before dinner. See you Kookie," Taehyung gives a small give, which is reciprocate by Jungkook and start the small walk towards the restaurant they had booked.

His mind starts to reel back to the night before. He immediately went to bed when he reached the hotel last night. When he wakes up today there was no message or misscall from Y/N. What does he expect? He is the one who rudely asks her to leave, she wouldnt be textiing him to ask him how he is doing. He should be the one doing that. Until when will he realized that he has no right to get jealous and even when he does, Y/N wont understand why.

Taehyung sighed.

Y/N's surprise and sad face from last night filled his mind again. Is he too mean? He picks up his pace, wanting to see her faster. She will be at the restaurant right? She wouldnt bailed on their group lunch just because shes mad at him.

Entering the restaurant, Taehyung spotted the long table filled with the familiar faces of his friends, laughing among one another. His eyes grazed each seat but Y/N is no where in sight.

"Oh Tae! Come on over!" One of his friends who noticed him spacing out at the door calls him in, breaking him out of his thoughts.

"Theres our superstar! Good show yesterday," another slapped his back and motioned for him to sit. Taehyung gives out polite smiles before asking the question he dreadfully want the answer to.

"Wheres Y/N?"

"Y/N? Oh you didnt know? She has a high fever. she was caught up in the heavy rain last night," Soo Young answered and eyed him skeptically. "Arent you with her? I thought you two went for coffee?"

"Wait. Fever? Rain?" The question immediately went passed him. All he can think about is how Y/N is sick right now. "Arent you guys together? Why are you guys all okay?"

"Together?" Soo Young raised an eyebrow. "But she told us to go on home first to meet you backstage. She said you are taking her out to catch up and you are going to send her home?"

"What? She-"

"Are you telling me you let her went back alone? In the middle of the night? In a city she never been to before?" Jae Hyun interrupt from the other end of the table. Just the fact that Jae Hyun is concerned and also he himself is looking like a real jackass right now sets Taehyung on fire.

"Shut up. Just.. where is her hotel?"

"Why?" Jae Hyun glares. Taehyung ignores him and turns to Soo Young. After a few seconds of intimidating glare and Y/N's whereabouts in his hand, he quickly say goodbye and ran off in her direction.

Good job Kim Taehyung. Not only did you get angry at you dream girl for no reason at all. You snapped at her, insulted her,left her alone, and you even make her sick. Great, fucking job. Maybe the boys are right, Y/N will never be yours.

/////

"T-tae?" Y/N open her tired eyes to feel the wet cloth on her forehead only to be met with Taehyung's handsome face etched with worry, looking over her.

"Hey.. you are awake. How are you feeling?" He smile. A smile so beautiful that Y/N cant helped but smile back, although in her heart she is still deeply hurt by his action last night.

"Why are you here? How do you know where I am staying? Is this a dream?"

Taehyung laugh. Oh Y/N, how can anyone be this adorable?

"No, you are definitely not dreaming princess. I am here and I am going to nurse you back to health,"

"Okay, I am dreaming. You are calling me princess, thats weird," Y/N laughs. Taehyung realizes what he had slipped and give back a small smile.

"Just take a rest okay? Your temperature is going down, you will be better soon. I have also ordered you food. Ill feed you. Lets eat okay?" Taehyung helped her sits up and starts feeding her slowly. There is nothing he wont give to take care of Y/N like this every single day. Why cant she just let him?

"Thanks Tae. You really shouldnt have. You really are the best friend in the world," Y/N smiles as she keeps eating the food. Taehyung swallow the bitter truth and give her a small smile. Best friends. Of course, thats all he will ever be.

"Y-yeah of course. What are best friends for right?" He smile and swallow before uttering his next words. "Hey Y/N?"

"Yeah Tae?"

"I am really sorry about what I said to you last night. I dont have any right to get mad at you. And to leave you walking home alone? That is j-"

"Hey, dont worry about it Tae," Y/N smiles and patted his hand. "You must be tired and there I was yapping away aboit coffee and wanting to catch up," she giggles. "Sometimes I forgot that you are this huge world star now, always busy. You are no longer the same boy who is always around walking me home from school, buying ice cream on the way,"

Taehyung kept quiet. He didnt know why her words hurt him so much. Is that what she thinks of him all this while? That he has become too big to even hang out with his best friends? Is that why she is never interested in him, not at all?

"Y/N.. is that what you thought? All this while?" Taehyung look at her face, looking for answers.

"Well.. yeah. Isnt it? I mean, I know you are busy. Arent you?"

"Well, yes. But not-"

"Maybe someday when you finally have free time. Maybe 100 years from now," she giggles more at her own joke, " we can finally catch up. We can bring my children to an amusement park or something,"

Taehyung clenched his fist tight. He knows shes just joking around, but now he cant stop imagining Y/N happily married to some guy, with their kids running around. Oh hell no, he is never going to let that happen. Y/N is his, and he will make sure of it even if its the last thing he needs to do.

"Why wait a 100 hundred years then?" Taehyung flashed her his infamous smile.

"What do you mean?"

"What do you say, if your fever is better of course, that we go out to the amusement park tomorrow? Just us two? I heard they have a big one nearby. And we have an off day this whole week. So what say you?" Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes.

Y/N looks at him and a smile alowly crept up her face.

"Its a date,"

/////

"You are going to a god damn amusement park Tae, why are you fussing with your clothes so much?!" Jimin huffed for the hundred time as Taehyung rumnage through their closet for the thousand times.

"Chim, I told you. She said it herself! Its a date. A freaking date! I need to look good! God why is everything so ugly?! We dont have time to shop for bew clothes. I an doomed!" Taehyung sighed and slumped down on his bed, buried by a pile of clothes, frustrated.

"I think Y/N only meant it as a matter of speaking..." Jimin mumbled, because he knows its no point explaining it to someone as love struck as Taehyung is right now anway. "Tae, you already look good in anything. Just pick whatever okay. And if she does like you, it wont matter what you wear anyway,"

"You are right Chim. Y/N is not that petty to judge someone by appearance anyway," he smiled at the thought of her.  "Shes just perfect,"

Jimin chuckles at his lovestruck friend and shake his head, pulling the blanket, ready to sleep. Taehyung can day dream all he wants, buried in the pile of clothes. Hes going to bed. Jimin was about to drift off to sleep when he last heard what Taehyung said.

"I am so in love with the perfect girl Chim. I just wish shes mine already,"

/////

"S-so which one do you want to ride first?" Taehyung stammered, nervously wiping his sweaty hands on his pants. He is finally on a date with Y/N. An outing, just the two of them. Sure, Y/N might think this is only outing between friends, but who cares, its still a date to him, and she look so beautiful Taehyung cant think straight.

Shes dressed so casually in shorts and an oversized jumper, hair flying loose and looking so happy eating a cotton candy that she was so excited to buy the moment she saw it. And looking at all the other eyes staring at her, Taehyung knows that he is not the only one who thinks shes looking absolutely beautiful today.

Y/N has always been beautiful. That is one of her traits that caught his eye the first time he saw her in school.  But sometimes her beauty is too much that she attracts everyone wherever she goes, and that is not a good thing for Taehyung. Especially when he is so easily consumed with jealousy and he went crazy when he does.

Why? Why does she have to be so freaking beautiful?

"Lets do the teacup! Then we can ride the pirate ship anddd that huge rollercoaster!" Y/N points to all the rides while jumping excitedly. "Hey, you okay? Why are you stammering?"

"Uh... nothing. I am just uh.. scared of scary rides?" Taeahyung gives a crooked smile, hoping she would believe him. There is no way he going to admit why he is so nervous being around her. And come to think about it,  what he said is true. He is scared of scary rides, rides to his heart and its scary as hell.

"Dont worry. I will protect you!" She giggles and hold his hand. Taehyung almost fainted the moment they touched. God, keep yourself together Kim Taehyung! You are Kim freaking Taehyung! Heart, stop beating so fast. Its just hand holding. You held way more hands during fanmeets! "Lets go!" Y/N drags him to the long line of the teacup, where the staff handling the ride is oogling her with no shame. Taehyung clenched his hand, wanting nothing more than to scratch his eyes out.

"Wait here in line Tae, I'll ask him how long the wait is going to be," before Taehyung could stop her to approach the guy with the beady eyes who is still staring at her, Y/N is gone. Taehyung kept his eyes on them, watching as the guy smile and getting too friendly for his liking. What are they even talking about? Shes only supposed to ask how long the wait is!

Y/N suddenly waves at him excitedly to walk over and Taehyung came by.

"What is it?"

"This nice guy said he will let us cut the que. Isnt that nice?"

"Really now?" Taehyung looks at the guy up and down, who is looking back at him, smirking.

"Yes sir. You and your pretty girlfriend c-"

"Oh he is not my boyfriend! He is my best friend!" Y/N cuts him and Taehyung felt like his gut has been stabbed.

"Oh really now?" The guy raised an eyebrow. Taehyung swear he really feels like punching him now. "Well, then you can go on as many time as you want," he smiles and winks, offering hia hand to helped Y/N up the platform. Y/N laughed, totally oblivious of how every single guy is flirting with her, like always.

"Yeah. How can someone that handsome be with me right? Have you seen him?" Y/N laughs. "And thankyou, maybe I'll come back again if we have time after trying all the other rides," she bowed and enters the ride, sitting opposite from Taehyung. Taehyung smiles at her and ponders on her words.

Oh Y/N, if only you knew that you are the only one who owns this supposedly too handsome man's heart.

Taehyung's mood drop from extremely happy to worse than sour in a heartbeat. The same thing with the guy at the teacup ride happen all over again. And again. And again and keeps happening. Its as if the whole park is after his girl. Y/N gets to cuts all the line, gets free drinks, win a teddy that Taehyung tried so hard to win for her for free and the popcorn guy even gave her his number on the box. To make matters worse, she keeps denying they are in a relationship and keep stressing that they are just friends. Taehyung knows its true, they are not in a relationship, but must Y/N be so against it? Is being with him appalled her so bad?

Y/N was chattering happily, eating her free popcorn, talking about how everybody is so nice, not noticing Taehyung's sulky mood and how he is already consumed in jealousy when he saw someone he knew.

"Mia?"

Y/N looked up from her popcorn to see a beautiful young girl smiling and waving at Taehyung. She recognized her immediately. She is an idol too, must be Taehyung's work friend.

"Oh. Is that your friend? Let-"

"Mia, hi!" Taehyung immediately walked over to the girl, leaving Y/N behind. Well, Y/N has been flirting with everyone in the park with no regards to his feelings, maybe he would return the favor. Okay, he knows its not her fault, she dont even know the guys are flirting with her, but Taehyung knows he gets crazy easily when it comes to Y/N and jealousy, and this is one of the moment.

"Kim Taehyung! What are you doing here? Are you even allowed to wonder around an amusement park with this..." she looks at Y/N up and down with a disgusted look. "Person?"

"Oh uh hi. I-"

"Dont care," Mia shrugs and hold Taehyung's hand, dragging him away from Y/N as Y/N followed a few steps behind. "So I just finished a shoot here and my manager said I can spend the rest of the day enjoying the rides. Want to play with me?" Mia hugs his arms, leaning her head on his shoulder. Taehyung take a peek behind to look at Y/N. He wanted to pushed Mia away, tell her that hes spending the day with the girl of his dreams, but as he looks at Y/N, she is smiling at him, as if his close relationship with another girl doesnt effect her at all, and thats when he snapped.

He will always only be a best friend to Y/N. Nothing else, nothing more. Y/N will never be his.

And suddenly his heart is filled with jealousy and anger and the feeling of just... hurting her. To make her feel how he feel all this while.

"Yeah, sure Mia. Why not," he gives out his charming smile.

"Okay great! But what about... her?" She points to Y/N behind them.

"Oh her? No one special. She can follow us around," Taehyung shrugs and turns back. Y/N was surprised with his answer. Whats wrong with Taehyung now? Why is he behaving like last night again? Did she do anything wrong? Y/N decides to just follow them around for a while. Maybe they havent seen each other long, so they just want to catch up? Taehyung wont just ignore her for the rest of the day right?

Y/N's hopes dissapeared when hours passed and Taehyung didnt even talked or looked at her once. They didnt even ride the rides with her, taking a private car together, leaving her alone, riding with strangers. So much for an "amusement park date to catch up" Kim Taehyung.

Y/N sighed, but still follows them around.

Little by little, fans has started to gather as they realized that Taehyung and Mia are together, at an amusement park and at what look like a date. And soon enough, the crowd had gathered and followed them around to the point Taehyung's manager have to come. In the midst of the increasing crowd, Y/N being tiny and fragile got pushed by the fans who is trying to approached the couple and take photos before the moment is over, resulting in a scraped knees and bruises over her body. She tried to gets up and calls out for Taehyung, running behind them to catch up but was held back by the security.

"Sorry miss, please back off,"

"No. No. I am his friend. I was with him the whole day!" She points to the two celebrity.

"Yeah right, everybody said that," the security laughed and rolled his eyes. "You and these thousand other girls. Go home and study girl, stop chasing cleebrity around,"

"No. I am serious. He is my friend. Look, I have his jacket!" Y/N points to Taehyung's jacket that shes wearing. The one he gave her earlier because of the chilly evening air.

"Wait, are you a saseang?!" The security eyes her up and down.

"What?! Me? No! I am-"

The security ignored her and spoke into his walkie talkie and soon after a few more came and pushed her back.

"Miss, you have to stay about 1 kilometres away from Mr. Kim or legal actions will be taken against you. We dont tolerate saseangs,"

"But I am not.." Y/N sighed as she looks at Taehyung who is escorted away, not even looking back. "Nevermind. I'll back off," Y/N plop down at one of the benches and think about the way to go back to the hotel. Maybe she can just ask Jae Hyun for help.

"We heard what the security said," Y/N looks up to find a group of girls standing in front of her, circling her, hiding her from public sight. "You are a saseang arent you?"

"What? No! Its a misunderstanding. I am actually Tae's high school friend. I-"

"How dare you call him Tae you crazy stalker! Leave our oppa alone! He and his bandmates deserve some privacy you crazy bitch," the first girl shove her shoulder hard.

"No. Wait. I am not a-"

"Bitches like you deserve to die!" And before she can start defending herself the girls start shoving and hurting her, pulling her hair, slapping and punching her all over. Y/N is pretty sure they are the crazy one here.

Almost losing conciousness and bleeding all over, Y/N can only smirks to herself. I cant believe this is the way I will die. By being punch by Taehyung's fan.

/////

Who the hell is that guy?!

Taehyung paced around in his room. Before he was ushered back to the car by his manager at the theme park, he managed to sneak a look behind the crowding fans, and he saw, far away at the back some guy carrying Y/N bridal style. She is hugging his neck but Taehyung cant see her face or anything else.

Who is he?

Why is she letting him carry her like that?

And after what happen yesterday, Y/N is still not even a bit jealous?

Taehyung huffed and continue to pace around his room. His mind is going crazy. Y/N didnt contact him after nor did she reply to any of his texts and calls.

Maybe he really did it this time. Maybe Y/N is truly mad at him.

/////

Taehyung didnt see any of his friends after that anymore. They didnt answer his calls or his texts. They also didnt attend any of his shows anymore. Taehyung was confused. Is Y/N that mad at him for ditching her the other day? To the point she asks their friends to stop being friends with him? Doesnt that mean she has feelings for him then?

Taehyung needed answers, so he keeps on calling and texting. Plus, he misses Y/N lile crazy and he is starting to regret what he did the other day. After a few weeks of trying, Soo Young, fed up with his relentless effort in calling finally answered.

"What the hell so you want?!"

"Well, hello to you too. Is this how you talk to a friend?" Taehyung asks, confused on her behaviour.

"A friend?" She scoffed. "After what you did to Y/N, do you think you can call any of us friends again?!" So he was right. Y/N is pissed that he ditch her the other day.

"Wait. Just because I left Y/N at the amusement park you guys are not going to be friends with me anymore? Look, I know what I did was wrong. But I am s-"

"Left her at the amusement park? Its more like left her to die you asshole! And here I thought you actually love her!" Soo Young screamed out.

"Huh? D-die?" Taehyung stammered. what is she talking about?

"Y/N was in a freaking coma for a week because your crazy fans beat her up at the park you asshole! And you did freaking nothing to help! You think just because you are famous now you are better than your friends?! Just stop calling and stay the hell away from her!" Soo Young screamed at him but Taehyung is no longer listening as the phone he is holding dropped to the floor.

What has he done?

/////

Y/N opened her eyes to the smell of sterile and medicine, her eyes adjusting to the white walls around her. She tries to move but she cant, everything hurts.

Where is she?

The last thing she remembered after getting beat up is a guy's voice shouting at the girls who is assaulting her and carrying her before she passed out conpletely.

"Hey.. you are awake," Soo Young's voice spoke softly to her ear and her friends friendly face entered her vision.  Soo Young explained what happened. How she was in a coma for a week already, and how a stranger at a park save her and how they are all no longer friends with Taehyung.

Taehyung.

No matter how hard she tries, she cant figure out why Taehyung did what he did and Y/N finally give up in trying to figuring it out.

Y/N focuses on recovery, putting Taehyung to the far back of her mind. After a few weeks, her bruises and cuts got better but is still very much visible and she no longer needed a wheelchair, only crutches to walk. On a lazy weekend while watching her favorite drama and inhaling a carton of ice cream, a loud knock comes from the door. With her bad leg, she hopped to the door.

"Coming!"

Y/N opened the door to find Taehyung looking straight at her, a huge bouquet of flowers in hand.

"Y/N. I-"

Panicking, Y/N immediately slammed the door shut at his face, tears starts to stream down her face. She doesnt know why shes crying. But seeing Taehyung again, after everything that happens... it just bring out the emotions that she never knew she felt.

"Y/N?" Taehyung calls out softly, while knocking on the door. After a few minutes he realizes that Y/N is never going to open it, atleast not today, and decide to just say what he wanted to say from behind the door.

"Y/N? I know after what I did I dont even deserve to see you. And I know you hate me so much that you cant even bare to see my face. I know I am a few weeks too late but I came immediately after I found out. Y/N, I am sorry. I didnt know why I did what I did. And if I could turn back time I would, but I cant. I am sorry I ruined what could have been the happiest day for us and turned it into this... tragedy. I am really sorry. You dont know how badly I regretted everything. I will give up everything Y/N, just to take it back. I swear," Taehyung sighed. "I'm... I'm just going to leave this flowers here by the door. Its for you. And I will come back every single day. You dont have to see me. But I will come back and wait for you until you are ready. I am sorry Y/N," with that Y/N heard his footsteps slowly went away, leaving her alone with her tears.

And true enough, Taehyung came back every single day for the next few months. Y/N found out from the news that he skipped his tour just to do this. He must really be willing to do anything like he said. Everyday he will leave something for her. Flowers, cookies, teddies, books, anything and he will sits on the floor by the door and talk about his day and how sorry he is and how he misses her. And slowly, Y/N find herself waiting for his daily visits and the tears stopped, replaced by a smile and a few giggles.

After 4 months, Y/N decided to finally open the door and ask him one final question.

"Y-Y/N? You opened the door!" Taehyung smile, surprised and immediately hugs her. "S-sorry. I just miss you so much," he stares at her longingly, backing away.

"This doesnt mean I forgive you Tae,"

"Of course! Of course! But its progress! What do you want me to do Y/N? I'll do anything, even if it takes forever," Taehyung smiles and she knows he means it.

"Answer me this one question Tae. Answer me with honesty. No bullshit, no lies, no excuses, and I will decide if I want to forgive you,"

"Of course Y/N. What is it do you want to know? I'll answer anything. Anything at all,"

"Why?" Taehyung looks at her, confused. "Why are you always mad at me for no reason? Why are your mood always changing? Did I do something wrong? Do you hate me? Do you not want to be my friend anymore? Why?"

"Well... thats not one question," Taehyung chuckles.

"Taehyung..."

"Okay, okay. Kidding," Taehyung smiles and takes a deep breath. Its now or never. Its time to tell his dream girl, the truth.

"You want to know why? Its because of you Y/N. You are driving me crazy. from that first day I saw you in high school, I have been crazy about you, over you. I cant sleep, I cant think straight, I cant even be myself, all I can do is think about you and how to make you mine. How it feels if you are mine. If you love me back. I want you Y/N. I want to take care of you, to love you, to be the only face you think about every single day, to be the last face you see at night, the first face you see in the morning. Every single day I wonder, why cant I be that person for you? I love you L/N Y/N. I have been madly in love with you for years and I am sorry I have been acting crazy, but I just cant help it when I see other people looking at you or laughing with you. You are just so beautiful, so perfect to me, I am afraid that someone else will steal you away. I dont know how I will live if that happens. Jealousy is my best friend when I am around you and thats what happen that day. I knew now that you will never be mine, and I accept that. But I will take care of you from afar. And to answer your question, no, I dont want to be your friend, because I want to be so much more. But Y/N..," Taehyung smiles. "I have accepted it Y/N, that you will be the girl who will never be mine,"

Y/N feels her mouth dropped opened. Is Kim Taehyung really finally confessing to her?

"T-tae, I didnt know-"

"Hey, its okay. You didnt know. Atleast you didnt ignore my feelings on purpose," he smiles. "I am so sorry Y/N. I love you and I will do anything to make things right again. I regret everything I did,"

"Wait," Y/N stopped him. "So you are saying, that everything you did to me before, the mood changes, igboring me, getting angry, everything, is because you are jealous? And because you cant have me?"

"Well, yeah," Taehyung gave a small smile. "I love you too much that the thought of not having you drive me crazy. And you are just so beautiful, guys are always all over you,"

"But you said this will never happen again. Because..?"

"Because I finally accepted that you are the girl that I love, but you are also the girl that at will never be mine Y/N," Taehyung smile, a sad smile. Y/N giggles and took a step forward and held his hand.

Oh who is she kidding. She might have denied it to Soo Young and the rest of the gang, but who could ever resist Kim Taehyung?

Obviously not her. Because she is fi ally admitting to herself that she is desperately in love with her best friend. From that first day in high school. And how lucky is she that her best friend is Kim Taehyung.

"But Tae, whoever said that I will never be yours if you never ever asked me?" Y/N grins and the happiest smile slowly crept up Taehyung's face.

[raeynbowboi]

My Two Cents on Female Characters in Animated Television Shows

Recently, while discussing my disappointment with the lack of development for the girls in My Hero Academia, I received a rather pointed response that accused me of not caring about female characters at all. This couldn’t be further from the truth, as often girl characters are usually some of my favorites in most shows, but where I think this person got confused is that they mistook my criticisms for contempt. You can criticize something without disliking it. Although I laughed and rolled my eyes at the accusation being the staunch feminist that I am, I figured it was a worthwhile topic to discuss: the portrayal and characterization of female characters in media. Particularly, animated television products.

Even though I wasn’t alive at the time, let’s rewind the clock back to the 1980s. During this decade, most animated television series were more focused on selling toys to go with the product than telling a good story, and this was also the time when gendered products exploded. Boys watched He-Man, G.I. Joe, and Transformers. Girls watched My Little Pony, the Care Bears, and Jem and the Holograms. The biggest shows usually had a gender division, though there were some shows that catered to children as a whole. What we usually got out of the boy shows is a cast almost exclusively male with maybe one or two female characters, such as with the 80s Voltron series were Allura was the only female character on the side of good. Likewise with girl oriented shows, most of the cast was girls with only a small handful of boys, though the Care Bears was an outlier due to having a rather fine mix of the two. During this era, if a girl was on the team, she usually didn’t do much. She was the damsel to be saved or the love interest to be smooth talked. She rarely had much more personality than “is a girl”. They were just kind of cookie cutter stereotypes who existed to be saved and supported by the real heroes. Some shows however did focus on strong warrior women such as She-Ra and Spider-woman. However, both of these were female spin-offs of boy shows and were again gendered products aimed only at female viewers.

The 1990s saw the emergence of shows with female leads that weren’t necessarily aimed exclusively at girls, but more often than not, it was more of a case of shows aimed at girls that just happened to attract a male audience. This happened with shows like The Powerpuff Girls or Daria, with Daria being a spin-off of Beavis and Butthead created to give MTV a female icon to draw viewership, as well as serving as a feminist icon and a voice of the disaffected nihilism of 90s teens. Shows aimed at a broader audience like Recess, The Magic School Bus, and Captain Planet started a trend of including more female characters, but it was still very common for the ratio to be tipped in favor of male characters. And this trope still remains at large to this day. This ratio is usually about 3:2 or 2:1 in a smaller group. Unless it’s aimed at girls or designed specifically to appeal to both genders, most products have more boy than girl characters.

Now with the 2000s, this is when my earliest childhood memories come back to me, and it’s the girls from this era of media that turned me into a feminist. I grew up on shows like Teen Titans, Avatar the Last Airbender, Kim Possible, and Totally Spies. This is when I would argue girl characters were really starting to really leap out and become actual people, though there were shades of this in the 90s as well. They were far more deep and complex than girl characters were in earlier media. Katara was still a maternal figure and a healer, but she had pride, a temper, and could be bossy. Starfire was a beautiful alien princess, but she was a warrior princess who was just as good in a fight if not better than her male teammates. Kim Possible was a super popular cheerleader, but she was also an honor roll student and a kick ass secret agent who retained her humbleness about it most of the time. While Clover was totally boy-crazy and fashion obsessed, she was balanced out by the academic Sam and the sporty Alex, and all three spies had episodes where they were the one saving the day and figuring out the problem. Fortunately, the 2010s have continued this trend of fleshed-out female characters, as shows have allowed female characters to exceed the normal parameters or expectations of their genders to treat them more like people, such as Flame Princess in Adventure Time donning very traditionally masculine clothing when she raps, both of which are not stereotypically feminine.

However, where Western Animation has progressed greatly, Shonen Anime has fallen majorly by the wayside. A common criticism of Naruto is that Sakura spent most of the time standing around doing nothing, and this sadly applies to all of the women. Kurenai is a Jonin level ninja, but she’s only ever shown in a single fight against Itachi and Kisame where she uses exactly one technique, and it’s used to show off how strong and cool Itachi is because he could counter her illusions with his own. Hinata is driven to become stronger due to being inspired by Naruto, but barely gets any screen time or skill improvement, and her only notable fight in part II is against Pain where it was a vehicle for her confessing her feelings for Naruto, and then triggering Naruto’s 6 tailed form so that Naruto could win the fight. Heck, Ino was standing ten feet away from the wanted terrorists that killed her teacher and she did nothing the entire fight. It’s not like she had mind control powers that would have been useful or anything. Sure the arc was for Shikamaru’s character growth, but even Choji did something and Choji sucks. And Tenten... Well she doesn’t matter. You could literally replace her with a lamp and nobody would be able to tell the difference. She’s just there because every squad must have a girl character.

So, now it’s time for the big feelings ouchie word: Strong Female Character. When people hear this they assume it means a character like Calhoun in Wreck-It Ralph, that tough as nails no bs cranky type of female who don’t need no man and yes, Calhoun is a Strong Female Character. And so is Katara. And Sadie Miller in Steven Universe. And Quinn Morgendorfer from Daria. Being a Strong Female Character isn’t about being tough or being a walking tank. Strong Female Characters simply have strong characterization. They’re well-constructed. Katara lost her mother when she was young and she had to take on her mother’s responsibilities, causing her to become very mature at a young age and to feel like anyone in need of help should get it because that’s her ‘job’ in a sense. Taking care of others is what she’s done since she lost her mother, it’s become her identity, and she could never reject that self-appointed duty without losing who she is as a person. Raven from Teen Titans pushes people away because she’s destined to destroy the world, and she hates herself for what she was created to do. She views herself as a living curse, and she doesn’t want to let people get close to her because it’ll hurt that much more when she has to fulfill her destiny and hurt the people that she cares about. Sadie Miller has only ever poofed one corrupted gem, but there’s a clear personality at play. She has low self-esteem and puts up with people telling her what to do because she’s a pleaser. She likes to make other people happy. Quinn is as classic girly girl as you can get. She’s shallow, vain, and bows to peer pressure. However, she voices that she doesn’t always like having to be like this, but that if she didn’t, she wouldn’t have anything in common with her friends. She’d rather be a shell of her real self surrounded by friends than her true self and alone. As Daria points out, Quinn wears superficiality like a suit of armor because she’s afraid of looking inside and finding nothing. But in later seasons, she begins to embrace the things that make her stand out by becoming more openly invested in her studies regardless of what it makes people think of her, and honestly, nobody really cares. A Strong Female Character doesn’t have to lead an army to be strong, she just has to be a fully defined person. So, now let’s bring the discussion full circle back to My Hero Academia. Earlier I mentioned the standard 3:2 ratio for larger groups. That is to say, if there’s an odd number of main characters, expect one extra boy for every boy-girl set. Too bad in My Hero Academia, it’s a 2:1 ratio of 14 boys and 6 girls. That’s 30% of the class size. They barely make up 1/4 of the class. And of those six maybe three of them have strong personalities. Tsuyu Asui, Momo Yaoyorozu, and Mina Ashido all have very distinct personalities, stand out in the class, and and have been given noteworthy character traits. Tsu tends to favor logic over emotion but doesn’t always like that this is her go-to response because she’s afraid people will think she’s heartless. Momo has high expectations for herself, and had a whole arc dedicated to her disappointment from the tournament arc. And Mina has a clearly defined personality, flaws, and tends to speak the most of the girls in the class. While Jiro’s not necessarily flat, we know less about her than the other girls. Uraraka’s character is so fixated on being the cute love interest that she doesn’t have any other personality traits. And Hakagure’s only real gimmick is that she’s invisible, but other than that is just a stereotypical girl. There’s nothing wrong with a female character not being a central figure in the narrative. What is wrong is when female characters are left to being window dressing. Jiro’s parents are both musicians and Jiro seems to like music too so why is she trying to be a hero? We know next to nothing about Hagakure. Sure, there are boy characters we don’t know very well either. Shoji, Koda, Sato, and Aoyama are still largely underdeveloped. But see, it’s problematic not only because the ratio is so heavily slanted, but because the girls that need character development don’t get much screen time. Uraraka has used the disarming training she got from her internship a few times, but that’s not a personality or a character development. And what happened when she went to the Yakuza secret hideout? She got left outside with the rest of the girls while most of the plot happened inside with the boys. Heck, Nejire who is part of the Big Three, we saw the backstories and training for both Mirio and Tamaki, but Nejire was just sort of ... present. She wasn’t given a character. Now, does that mean that I hate the girls in My Hero Academia? Of course not! Tsu is one of my favorite characters, and I like Jiro. She’s cool. But that doesn’t mean that I’m happy with the level of development and focus they’ve gotten. They’re characters too and they should be allowed to be more fleshed out in the story.

[aharris00britney]

ASKS 13

CC .zip file, resource page, uploading sims, and some other stuff idk

Anonymous said: Hi! I was just wondering if you knew that none of the images on your resources page are showing. Not on my end, at least. I've gone back to check a few times, to see if it was just my internet acting up or something, but every time it just loads blank white squares

Heya lmao it should be fixed somewhat now. A few months ago my download page/resource page/sim download page all broke and I had to reupload images. It killed me to fix my download page and I am just now getting around to doing my resource page. I am still working on it but I fixed links for Macie and Taylor

Anonymous said: Could you make any male hairstyles?

I am not the best at male hair, but maybe in the future I will do some stuff. For now the only male hairs I will make are conversions and stuff. I’m sorry!

Anonymous said: Any chance you’ll make some straight middle parted hair? Like 2002 Avril Lavigne?            

TBH I wish I would’ve made my Madison hair as just the Cats&Dogs hair retextured/UV mapped because that is something I want now, but I don’t have a way to get it to be the same as my Madison hair. We shall see!

Anonymous said: are your sims for download? They are so gorgeous!

They are! The images on the download page I made for them are broken but you can find their tag here

Anonymous said: I feel lile u should post more about urself + I miss ur monthly playlists

okay I thought this was so sweet for some reason ;n; I don’t post much about myself because I don’t know if y’all would wanna hear about my life/problems lmao. Also my playlists is a whole problem UGH I made my Nov one and forgot to post it, and didn’t have wifi til like Jan and I don’t know what to do with them. I will put a little bit of what my life is rn lmao:

I am about to go back to Radford for my 2nd semester, and I am happy with how my classes are. I am going through some really messy boy problems like.... ugh. I am trying to work things out and people like @ayoshi​ @bowl-of-plumbobs​ @dogsill​ and a groupchat im in on discord have kept me from being miserable. I just can’t get it resolved til I go back and I have been gone for a month with it just... building.

@simspigccfinds said: How long did it take you to learn how to make cc?

Well I ‘knew’ how when I first started, but I wouldn’t say I got to the point where I knew how to make stuff 99% right until late 2017, early 2018.   Practicing and learning from trial and error is the best way I learned.

Anonymous said: I'm new here but do you like Red Velvet?            

yes! they are tied with BP for my #2 group. I love RV songs/videos, but I love the BP girlies so much bc they were my first kpop group ;n;

Anonymous said: idk if you've been asked this before (i went through ur asks and ur faq and i couldnt find anything about this but i couldve missed it) Would you ever consider making a big download for all of ur cc? I really wanna download it all but theres so much!

Okay with this idk how I would do it. I post three new hairs every month. Some of my old hairs I know have glitches and I would not want to include them. I am going to try to finish some revamps/updates of hairs and then see about a giant .zip file and maybe a merged package of all my hairs.

Anonymous said: I LOVE ALL UR HAIRS!!! I use them on all of my white sims ❤️❤️

idk if this was shade ewdgfvbn thank you?? I know I don’t make many POC hairs and I want to start doing more, they just take more time to perfect imo and I try to have X amount of hairs for voting everything, and 3 release every month so it is hard to get popping different hairs in and out in that limited time.

Anonymous said: Omg your sims are gorgeous, I love your creations! I am saving up right now but as soon as I have enough money to spare, I am definitely becoming a patron :)

thank you so much!!! I appreciate you even thinking of being a patron <3

@set-fire-to-the-stars said: HEYYY! First, I'd like to say your work is AMAZING and I really enjoy having your hairs in my game. I have a suggestion, because we're both LOONA stans... You know that one hairstyle YeoJin is always wearing? That would look so cute in sims 4...

thank you!! lmao the hair with the like 5 or 6 buns? Maybe!! It would be a bit tricky to do but I would like to try it one day.

Anonymous said: Just wanted to let you know that I have a friend called Lydia and her Hair is just as your "Lydia" Hair, it's so accurate that I had to giggle

lmao I am happy you got a giggle from it. I made it forever ago but I know it was based off of someone. . . .

Anonymous said: Hi! Do you have any hairs/cc for children? Thank you!

i don’t ;n; but @naevys-sims​ has converted a HUGE amount of my hairs to children if you want to check them out <3

Anonymous said: is it okay to edit your meshes for personal use only?

yeah haha for personal use is fine

Anonymous said: Hello!, i really like your cc. but, most of them doesn't seem to work with me, when i try to put it on my sim, it looks bald. do you know what's wrong with it?. thanks ~

You may just be downloading the recolors. Make sure to download the one that doesn’t say ‘recolors’ too.

@debsim​ said: hey i just want to say that you are my favorite cc creator and my sister is also born on the same as you lol :)            

thank you!!! lmao it is cool that me and ur sis have the same birthday :P

Anonymous said: I appreciate you so so much. I feel like i've already told you this but my god, you improve everything about my game. You've literally made my life happier and just, i'm so happy 😩❤

awe thank you!!! I just make simple hairs <3 I am happy that you think it improves your game. Thank you again

Anonymous said: I'd really love to see something fresh from you.  All i see on my dash is the same hair with small variations :/

all my releases are picked by Patreon Pledges through voting, so it isn’t up to me entirely. I just make/finish the hairs being voted on. All I can recommend doing to change that is pledge and vote sdgfvbb

@ssmorqqii​ said: Okay so this isn't much of an ask really but I just wanted to give you a heads up as an excessive cc downloader/user that your cc is HEAVEN. It makes the whole game so much better and I just wanted to thank you.            

thank you omg stuff like this makes me feel good about making content for the game <3 knowing that people think my hair changes the game enough to make it better. Thank you again

Anonymous said: do you use a cleavage overlay or special skin on your female sims?

I use two skin overlays and a default. That is it though besides makeup. No cleavage overlay

Anonymous said: How are your sims so pretty? Would you ever upload them? Like the one you’re using with get famous for example?

My sims are uploaded already to my origin and my blog lmao, I am planning to update them in the next few weeks though. DL page here

Anonymous said: not gonna lie that I followed you mainly cause you're a LOONA stan! <3

oh absolutely

Anonymous said: Another patron saint bitch. Sorry ugh

efvbn this made me giggle lmao ty

Anonymous said: sulsul! so I don't know how patreon works but when you pledge? do you have to pledge month to month or can i just be for one month?

you can pledge for just one month by pledging and then cancelling before you get charged the next month. I think you get charged a small fee if you re-pledge in the future though. So doing it month-to-month is a bit cheaper

@ssmorqqii said: hi this isnt a question but i just wanted you to know that i think youre pretty frikin great okay thank u            

thank you ddgfvbn i appreciate it

okay after this idk when I answered last so im gonna end it here. Does anybody read all of these things lmao efdhgb

[fantasyizlife]

Need Help?

Need Help?

Summary: Tom and Jessa are nothing more than friends/co-workers. Even after a mutual agreement to leave a hot romance behind when they wrapped up the first Spider-man. Jessa and Tom are now on the set of Far From Home and they are anything but far from each other. This one-shot is a steamy game of promise that heats up into old flames exploding for each other.

Warnings: angst, cheating-ish and smut

Word count: 6340

Dear me,

(self journal entry due to extreme boredom and frustration. I need to work this out.)                                                                                                 

Being in the limelight was never easy. Making real friends was close to impossible due to the back stabbing so many did just get ahead of you or literally destroy you. Love? Forget about it! As soon as you were spotted with a person, you were immediately labeled and judged, either loved or hated by each others so called fandoms, just for being seen together! Yeah yeah, the rich and famous ask for the spotlight, we are supposed to bow down for our fans right? After all, they are who make or break us! I mean I love my fans, most famous people do. But at what point do they draw a line for themselves? Why are we on Instagram apologizing for being unable to leave our hotel room due to the massive crowds that have become unsafe for us but mainely them? Sorry for my rant, I’m just in my own head trying to sort shit out as I’m dealing with a girly issue and no one to talk to about it because my bff is locked in my ex’s-yet still friends trailer on the streets of New York and due to the crowds lined around the block none of us are going anywhere.

That includes my new almost-boyfriend? He was going to fly in tonight and spend some of my tomorrow off with me. But with crazy fans for blocks, he would be spotted and yet another clue for our fandoms would be dropped and they already had us together, despite our constant denial and countless “just friends” comments. So he opted to stay in Vegas until his next performance that was only in three days. I mean we've been dating for a few months but he refuses to go deeper or past second base, we made it to third base once, but it was a weak moment on his part, (so he said after he stopped us midaction). He says he’s waiting for me to be ready. I didn’t understand until he told me bluntly one night after an award show that we attended an after party with friends including Tom that I had feelings for Tom. Like seriously? Tom? I didn’t even introduce him as an ex when they first met because Tom was a friend, it's all we are! The one and only friend that I had hooked up with a handful of times and hung out with while filming Spiderman, perhaps with a few private moments on the promo tour but we had let it drift apart mutually, as friends. Because while filming that movie, I had met a group of people and we all bonded, they were my age and we wanted to remain good friends, all kinds of relationships crumble in the Hollywood spotlight. Each of us made an effort, celebrating birthdays and holidays. Each of us hosting parties to make sure we could keep this bond alive. Being that I was an original Avenger I was at most of the panels and meet and greets, but nothing ever happened between Tom and me after HOCO. And nothing was happening now. Except the man I wanted/want to build a relationship with isn’t willing to share more of his heart or his body until he deems me safe to fall in love with, and I know he is ready! We women know, am I right?  

I’m on my second mini bottle of Sangria and the drunk me is starting to come out. I’m sitting alone in my room watching the crowd still hanging around the trailer with no end in sight. If I hadn't reserved this quiet space for me to spend some quality time with my...FUCK! What do I even call him? He’s not my boyfriend, but were exclusive to one another. Without a doubt I’m head over heels for him. He’s the perfect guy for me. A small part of me wonders if he’s just waiting for me to get this movie out of the way because my contract with Marvel is up after Avengers 4 and this sequel...wait is “Exclusive” jelly of Tom and me spending time together? NO! Possible? Sure! See this is why I need Zendaya! She can brainstorm with me and help me relax. But she’s trapped and I’m typing at a empty screen...fuck it, I’m going in. It’s that or make myself crazy sitting here trying to figure this out.

Note to self: Your drunk, this isn’t a good ideal but your testing out your bad ideals tonight!

I lock the laptop and call Z as I gather some night clothes, I’ll be lucky to make it inside let alone back out before morning. She answers on the second try as my elevator descends thirty floors. With bottles clinking in my overnight bag, I step into the lobby. I’m instantly blinded by cameras and bombarded with requests of autographs and pictures. Question about Mr. Exclusive and myself. I all but burst into tears and opt for buzzed induced laughter as I press the doors closed and hit my floor number. I had even forgotten she was on the phone.

“Jessa, what's going on? Are you okay?” she yells into the phone getting my attention.

“I just wanted to see you, I need you Z! Hell I just wanted to share my sangria and catch up.” I exhaled my breath as I opened the door to my lonely dark room lit by screen saver of Mr. Exclusives and mines face. I roll my eyes at it and go over to the window to look down at their trailer. I can hear Tom, Harry and Haz laughing, music playing and grown boys making silly bets.

“Wait did you say share sangria?” she laughed into the phone as I whined like a baby at the fun they were having together. “Bitch we are on the way up, that is if you have enough!” she giggled. “And wait, Jess what happened to you and..” I cut her off before I was sucked into misery again.

“I have plenty babes, and I‘m lonely, let’s just say flights are canceled and I need my friends.” She promised me they would be right up and after 30 minutes of fighting the crowd they were all at my door.

The room was filled with laughs, music and familiar warmth as I slowly sipped my fourth bottle. They had my mini bar drained and restocked twice. They were stuck without food or drinks because of the mob so this was paradise to them and they were mine. I heard my phone ringing and seen it was him so I went into the bedroom just to block some of the noise. I knew the second I answered he was buzzing too.

“Hey baby” he smiled so big from his hotel bed. HUH..and no shirt..FML! I smiled goofily at the screen as he called me out for being more than buzzed. I dropped to the bed and looked at him.

“Sounds like you have company?” he smiled so cute it made my heart swell.

“I do, I was really bummed by you not coming so everyone came to see me! Were playing truth or dare next, I swear were such kids at times, the cool kind for sure!” I smiled as he bit his lip. “Don’t do that baby, please don’t do that, especially not now.” I whimpered wishing he was here to kiss. He moaned into his pillow and peeked back up to me. His mood had changed slightly.

“I wouldn’t want to get you hot, not while you have company especially while he’s there.” I questioned him with my eyes and they went wide as I looked at who was in my room...Tom.

“Jess can you please call me when you go to bed, promise me no matter what time it is?” he asked looking kinda pissed. Holy crap, is he serious? He is jelly of Tom! I assured him I would call as we said goodbye.

“I’m sorry, I was just coming in here to tell you it was your turn luv.” Tom stood still and raised his arms in defense. His sweet smile made my tummy flip flop.

“No biggie Tom, he’s um..worried when I’m around you, it’s stupid.” I lied smelling his fucking cologne. I closed my eyes blowing out a breath trying to center my focus.

Tom leaned in so close his warm breath gave me goosebumps and my nipples betrayed me turning hard and aching for his expert touch. “Can’t imagine why Jessa.” he winked at me and left me to go join the others. I had to take a moment.  

I went back to my friends all sitting around the table and at the same time they yelled Jessa’s turn! Just like old times my mood was back on point

“I’m starting easy because I don’t know what tea was spilled while I was away so dare!” I smiled looking to see who’s turn it was. Tom leaned in.

“Smart girl” he said in a tone that made my nipples come alive again. I hid them by crossing my arms and shifting in my seat.

“I know better, truth can be more dangerous with this group, especially while drunk!”

“Dare it is!” Tom declared standing up grabbing my empty bottle “I spin this and you kiss whoever it lands on.” he winked setting it on the table. My eyes widen with fear.

“I..I..I can’t do that Tom, I’m in a..huh..” I couldn’t say the words, it just felt wrong.

“Relax darling, it will be a quick kiss on the cheek. Nothing more, no worries.” he smiled biting his lip hard. I swallowed nervously  as it spun round and round. I was way too nervous as it slowed down so I closed my eyes. Everyone but Tom cheered as it landed on Zendaya. I smirked as she laughed.

“Two can play this game Tom.” I whispered as I got on the table and crawled across it. She shook her head at me and held out her beautiful long arms. She even helped me off the table and onto her lap as she licked her lips brushing my hair away and blocking their view. The music was loud and it wrecked any chance of them hearing us, jokes on them.

“He won’t stop asking about you Jessa, he driving us all crazy.” she whispered tilting my neck for appearance reasons. “He wants to know if your with him and why he didn’t come?” she laughed.

“I want to know who told him I was with Tom in the first place, it wasn’t serious for us. Now it’s cock blocking me.” I frowned.

“Apparently serious enough for him to find out, to someone anyways.” she sighed telling me something I hadn’t thought about. Tom must have told him, who else? But why? I looked at him and she quickly pulled my face to hers kissing me on the lips to shut me up. The guys all laughed per usual as we shared a weird knowing look. She glanced behind me and in the windows reflection I could see Haz staring at us. My eyes bugged out as I mouthed NO WAY!

“Some fires never die doll, we've been creeping all week, and I call dibs on the spare bedroom.” My mouth dropped open as she tapped my ass lightly and told me to move.

I got up looking blown away, but happy for her and him. And now it was my turn and Tom was my target. I sat across from him and asked him truth or dare. I raised my eyebrow for him to challenge me.

“Truth, darling, always truth for you pretty girl.” he cooed making my face heat up at my very personal nickname he only called me when we were intimate.

“Did you tell a certain someone about us Tommy?” I cooed his nickname back making him slightly uncomfortable. His brown eyes closed as he pulled back his long loose brown curls. Then he bit his lip to hide his victory smile before I could rephrase it to my advantage.

“Yes darling, I did tell a certain someone about us, in fact I don’t think I ever stopped, right Haz?”

I got up from the table knowing he won fair and square. I was too drunk to focus on all this.

We popped in a scary movie and all settled in the small living room between bedrooms to watch it. Not even halfway in Harry was falling asleep. Tom told him to go to the second bedroom so we could have more room. Zendaya hit my leg that was draped over hers calling me into action.

“No Harry, take my room, it’s yours and Tom's tonight, your my guest!” I smiled at her.

He shrugged sleepily and headed to bed, not noticing the hell no mood Tom was now sporting. It took Zendaya and Haz ten minutes to depart into the second bedroom. I stretched out on the couch with plenty of room for only two people.  My body froze as I felt Tom move underneath my blanket and shift himself behind me. I closed my eyes as he wrapped his arms around me in a cuddly way. I prayed for the strength to tell him to move back to his side. That strength never came. In fact I pressed my soft body more into his hard one as he kissed my hair and nuzzled my neck. I'm only human, I needed some TLC and this was platonic right? So it was okay, right? I blocked the truth that screamed at me as he squeezed me tighter. Before I knew it the movie was rolling credits and neither one of us were moving for fear of breaking the unspoken agreement. We just needed basic human contact. We weren't wrong for that. Right? I started to close my eyes as his breathing grew heavy in a sleeping rhythm.

I was pulled back to reality as my phone started to ring loudly in the quiet living room. I reached for it underneath the covers finding something harder between Tom's powerful thighs instead. He moaned in response as he handed me my glowing screen filled with a beautiful face. My heart was in my throat as I realized I was supposed to call him before bed and he was probably pacing his hotel room by now. I sat up, my eyes pleading Tom's sleepy eyes to give me privacy and he did without protest as he slipped inside my room and closed the door. I answered his second call on the first ring.

“Hi babe, I'm sorry I didn't call you, we watched a movie and I fell asleep on the couch.” I pouted as his worried brows pinched together even more.

“I can see that Jessa.” he smiled to my relief. “Did they leave you alone all by your beautiful sexy self?” he asked biting his lip giving me that look that said he was in a playful phone sex kind of mood. Fuck, he was honestly so hot, just as much as he was sweet. I wished he was here even more. It was clear he was intoxicated and wanting me in ways he practiced restraint from. This was a time he was willing to slip.

“Actually, I'm not alone sexy, they are asleep in the bedrooms, I'm just being kind.”

He pouted at the thought but quickly brushed it aside. “What's on your mind?” I whispered as he chewed his lip.

“You Jess, and your beautiful lips, I haven't seen you in almost a month, I miss all of you sweetheart, I promise, but tonight...I miss your body so much. Fuck I regret not making love to you. I actually regret it a lot.” he said soft rolling onto his back. “Babe, can we play? I really fucking need you.” he moaned showing me he was naked under his sheets and rock hard.

Between my alcohol fueled blood and my heated craving for him, I was more than willing to play.

“Take your clothes off, please Jessa” he begged as he stroked himself a few times.

Fuck, he was hot...and so was I. He wasn't holding back tonight. I lived to hear him moan my name, he made it sound so beautiful. I pulled my bottoms off and held my panties up for him.

“Humm, let me watch you take the rest off.” I bit my lip and set the phone against the covers as I did as he asked. “Your so beautiful Jessa.” he moaned heavily as I caressed my breast for him. “Touch yourself, and say my name, please baby” he said as his face flushed.

He wasn't very verbal but he always tried for me, I usually had to lead him into it. Tonight we just flowed off one another. I did everything he asked me too and tried to keep it quiet, my headphones were in my bag along with my mini friend so getting release wasn't as easy for me. But I didn't let him know that. I could take care of myself later. As he got closer I whimpered wondering how his big cock would feel inside me. He was very skilled with his hands and mouth, I couldn't wait to see how good he could really make me feel.

“I want you baby, please tell me I can have all of you when I see you next time, my body is crazy wondering what you feel like...please..please, say yes to me.” I begged as he found release. I could tell from his smile as he came down that he was considering it.

“As soon as your away from Tom, how about we give our bodies what they want?” he smiled both sexy and shy. I smiled back as I agreed and we said good night.

I stared at the ceiling trying to unwind my body from not getting its release. A cold shower would have to do. I sat up to grab my shirt from the floor and my bedroom door opened. I knew who it was without looking. I covered my naked body as I met Toms hooded dark gaze. He smiled causing me to shake my head and bite my lip, he had heard it all. He leaned against the wall and I looked anywhere but at him.

“Need help pretty baby?” he asked raising his unruly brow and licking his lips. “Has he really not made love to you yet?” I sighed feeling my body tingle as I exhaled ready to spill the tea.“Have you and him not..like ever?” he asked almost excited by the discovery. My face flushed hot at his sexy tone. “Is it my fault? If it is you should let me make it up to you.”

“Make it up how Tom?” I mumbled as my core heated at the thought.

“I'll make you cum, you won't have to fake it with me either, promise sexy baby”

“Tom I can't, I'm not a cheater, you should know that about me. Even if you were the last.., I..I..just won't.” I sighed laying down and covering my embarrassment.

“Wait, what..?” he said coming closer to me.

“You have to let me help now, I won't touch, I promise.” he pulled the covers off my face and winked at me.

“But how..” I whined covering my eyes with my arm. He pulled the covers down exposing my rock hard nipples. I covered my breasts with my hands and locked eyes with him.

“Just like that pretty baby, do it just like I would.” he said moving the hair away from my face and placing his hand over mine.

“Go slow, feel every inch of your soft skin as you slide lower. Feel your heart race as I bite at your skin.” he watched my hand as I pinched my nipple hard, making a trail with my other hand like he used to before he touched me everywhere and anywhere but where I ached for him to touch.

“Yes pretty baby, listen to your breathing, you can't wait to cum can you?” he said in my ear, his breath on my neck.

“Tommy, I can't..I can't.” I moaned

“Yes you can, it's just you baby.” he encouraged

“That's the problem, I haven't been with anyone since..” I hid my face in the couch “I need my magic wand.” I laughed feeling embarrassed at the name he gave it so long ago.

“Is it here..where? I'll grab it!” he stood up revealing his hard on. I pointed at my room and he went in without further instructions because he's the one who bought it for me with a pillow that had a hidden compartment that was made for hiding toys. He was gone all of 60 seconds. No time to process what we were getting into.

He pulled off his shirt and I grabbed it from him covering my face and to inhale his scent. Wow, I was intoxicated by him and sangria, not sure who had my mind more blown.

“Can we try..with the magic wand first?” he said taking my hand into his and placing it onto my stomach. I shook my head yes with my face hot under his shirt. He pulled it away and I held it with my teeth causing him to laugh.

“Touch yourself Jessa, let me watch.” he begged, coming so close to my face his hair tickled my skin making my nipples painfully harder. I closed my eyes as he pushed the covers all the way off of me, exposing my naked hot skin to the chill in the air. His warm breath made me arch my back as he blew over my breast. His lips touched them as a consequence of my sudden reaction.

“Fuck, sexy baby, don't make me break my promise.” he said pushing my fingers inside me with his hand on mine. His fingers were soaked instantly and he sucked them clean.  

I let out a cry as his palm brushed my sensitive nub and I worked my fingers slowly. He whispered encouraging hot words as the sounds of my moans and wet sex filled the quiet room. He watched me as I hid my face from his. I knew I shouldn't moan his name but I wanted to, it was messing with my task at hand.

“Stop holding back, if I wasn't here what would you be doing Jess?” he said tilting my face to his. This was sensory overload but I couldn't say it, it wouldn't come out. He moved away from my face and I felt the couch dip as he kneeled between my legs.

“Oh shit Tom!” I cried out as he blew his breath on my silky sex. My eyes rolled into my head as his hair brushed my legs.

“Cum Jess, give your kitty what it needs” he moaned hovering above my body. His arms held him just above my stomach, not breaking his promise. “Look at me when you cum beautiful.” he said biting his lip hard.

I stared into his beautiful dark eyes as mine glazed over and his name fell from my lips.

“Fuck, your so beautiful Jessa, he has no idea what he's missing.” he moaned moving lower again. His hair tickled my legs as he leaned down too close to my entrance.

I closed my legs on instinct with his face in between. He smiled as I covered my exposed sex and took my hand away, placing it into his mouth. I watched wide eyed as he now licked my silky sex from my hand. “I want you so bad baby, I wish I could show you just how much, but hopefully I can while keeping my promise.”

Without warning he slipped my magic wand through my folds and rubbed it over my swollen clit. I arched my back pressing it into his hard shirtless chest as he pushed it inside me slowly until he hit my wall. He let out a moan as my breast kept colliding into his chest.  

“Tom..ohhh fuck!” I gasped as he aimed it up and applied pressure to where he knew my g-spot was. Then he hit vibrate as he held it in place. My hips bucked upwards causing his hand to slide across my wet sex. He let out a rough growl and put his legs over my feet to hold me down. He smirked at me as I begged him to fuck me, he knew my body like it still belonged to him. And yeah, perhaps it did.

“Cum for your Tommy, pinch your clit for me baby, I want to watch you explode in my hands.” he moaned as he pulled my hand to meet his.

I did everything he asked and as I felt the wave crash I screamed his name hard as I came. My body went wild as the sounds of my soaked kitty echoed in the room.

Tom didn't give me time to recover as he worked the wand with a quick pace. I tried to push him away but he wasn't having it. I held onto his hand and dug my nails into his flesh as I cried with pleasure into his shirt, trying to block the sounds. He leaned over me and pulled it away from my face as I repeated his name and begged him to fuck me. He put his left hand on the side of my face and held himself up as he worked the toy faster. He looked at every inch of my face and my breast. His attention was everywhere, he was growing frantic as my second orgasm was draining my voice from my lungs. I kissed his strong arm and licked the veins that popped out before I bit down as I exploded again. He blew his breath over my hot sweat soaked body as he held the wand inside me letting me come down. My legs trembled uncontrollably and traveled to my lungs as I tried to steady my breaths.

“Wow.wow.wow. baby, that was amazing, you really haven't been touched since me have you?” he looked at me differently and it made me want to hide.

“I haven't been with anyone since you, I haven't even bothered until..well..him.” I swallowed feeling embarrassed and confused “He refused to be with me until he knew I could give all of me to him, he was..is..intimidated by you Tom.”

He wrapped my wand in his shirt and slipped it under the blankets. I sat up on my elbows looking at his body and seeing how hard he has been working on it. He looked bigger and more defined. My mouth dropped open as he undid his pants and his hard cock peeked out of his boxer briefs.

“I'm sorry, I'm in pain baby..I'll be right back.” he got up quickly and headed towards the bathroom. I didn't think I just acted. I slipped on my panties and went into the bathroom as he started to undress and turned on the shower. I locked the door as he turned around shaking his head no at me.

“I made a promise, I keep my promises Jess.” he said stern pointing at the door.

“Tommy, please just let me help, I’ll keep your promise too.” I pleaded biting my lip hard. His precum was glistening on the tip of his cock. I leaned against the counter and begged him with my eyes. “Please, I even put my panties back on so we still won't be touching, just trust me.” I begged wanting more by the second.  

Tom closed his eyes and fisted his messy hair. When he opened his eyes, they were filled with hunger. He rested his forehead against mine and gripped the counter as the head of his cock rested against his belly. I hooked my fingers into his boxers and pulled him hard against my body. I rocked my hips back and forth as I played with my breasts for him. His tight boxers were soaked in seconds and clung to the thin lace of my panties.  

He looked into my eyes, deciding for himself. I moaned his name as he lifted one leg around his hip and held it there. He was struggling to stay in control. He pulled up my other leg.  

“Fuck I need to be inside you Jessa.” he whimpered.

He rolled more precum around his tip and squeezed tight. I reached down in a lusty haze and he wrapped my arms around his strong neck before removing me off the sink and into the shower. The water was hot but he shielded me from the pain with his body and rested me against the cold tiled wall as he reached to adjust the temp. The water soaked his hair and ran down his face, his long lashes, perfect jawline, thick neck, broad shoulders, pecs that were a hella in shape. He looked up at me and pulled my lip out of my teeth with a smile that melted my heart.

“Your going to make your lip swollen luv, that’s for someone else to do.” he said staring at my mouth. I stuck my tongue out and he ran his thumb over it for a impulsive second or two.

He set me down and I turned around to give him a view of my ass, he let out a moan as I pressed my ass against his bare cock. I worked my hips in circles as he rocked his back and forth in perfect rhythm. He gripped my panties hard and made them ride up into my ass crack. It was the only tiny piece of fabric between us but it was enough to keep his promise, if he pulled any more they would tear right off. I pulled away and he whimpered at the loss of contact.

“Time for you to cum for me Tommy.” I moaned as he gripped his thick cock. I held onto his biceps as he stroked himself slow and tight. “I want to taste you, can I?” I whispered as I reached for the body wash.

He picked me up as I opened it and moved me against the wall. My back arched at the coldness of the tiles and he licked the water from my neck, shit this was getting out of control and fast. I squeezed the soap in between our bodies and it did its own thing as he started to trust his body up and down. I could feel my own orgasm build as he moaned my name between clench teeth and I joined in moaning his name. Our eyes kept finding one anothers as both of us could feel my panties shifting and his cock making contact with my bare sex. He stopped thrusting and I pulled his hair as I adjusted his cock to slide in between my legs, against my skin but not my sex. He moaned my name in approval and picked up the pace. I gripped tighter to him as he sang my name beautifully in my ear, over and over.

“Cum for me one more time Jess, please sexy baby.” he said rubbing his nose against my wet neck. I nodded yes as he pulled my panties away that were pressed against my sex and sent me into a frenzy as he kept his fingers over his thick head. I pushed my foot off the side of the shower and it gave me enough forced weight to spread his fingers, letting the tip slide in. He pulled my hair hard as I exploded on him, his eyes went wide as he felt my hot silk sliding down his hand and cock. “You naughty girl.” he growled.

Tom watched me fall apart and it was his undoing as he squeezed himself tight and jerked his cock faster. I watched his face as he closed his eyes and formed that perfect fucking O as he started to cum all over me and him. The water raced against me as I put some of him in my mouth. His beautiful long lashes opened as he watched me suck my fingers until his taste was absolutely gone. He smiled at me almost shy and my heart did that melting thing again.    

His jaw tightened as he struggled to keep a good grip on my wet body. I held on tighter so he could keep me in his arms a little longer. Shit, this was becoming something else. I could feel it. I wasn’t ready to be let go of. My heart started to hammer as he set me down. He kissed my forehead and held me close letting me know he wasn’t going anywhere just yet. We washed each other up and not in a sexual way. He even removed my panties and tossed them by his on the bathroom floor. He watched me clean my kitty and I felt myself wanting him yet again. I would do whatever he wanted to keep his beautiful eyes on me. I turned around to rinse off and was caught off guard when he pulled me into his arms.

“Will you sleep with me tonight Jessa, please?” he asked kissing my neck sweetly. I shook my head yes and he turned off the water. “Okay give me a few moments, you stay here and lotion up. I’ll be right back my beautiful girl.” he got out scooping up the clothes and grabbing a towel. I heard some grunting and whispering from Tom and Harry in the living room. I brushed my teeth as I processed sleeping alone in a bedroom, behind closed doors! On the couch was one thing! I rinsed out my mouth as he came in with a robe. He frowned at my toothbrush and took it from me. I reached for it too late as he stuck it in his mouth. Eww, I hated that when he did that!

“What, you did it first.” he winked getting it wet and adding toothpaste. I rolled my eyes like old times and headed to the bedroom in search of my phone. I did it without further thought and on my own accord. I sent my now ex exclusive a message that we needed a heart to heart. Tomorrow I would confess I still had feelings for Tom like he’s always already known and I would set him free. I turned my phone on silent and got under the covers to wait for my Tom. He came in quietly and made himself at home as he laid on top of my naked skin. I went into auto pilot and ran my fingers through his damp long curls.

“Thank you and that was amazing by the way.” I whispered as he peeked up at me.

“Jess, don’t thank me. Your the one who is amazing.” he whispered kissing my tummy.

“I’m thanking you because you actually kept your promise.”

“I do that quite a lot, yet people are always surprised.” he smiled than quickly frowned. “Perhaps if I would have been honest with you and not your exclusive, we could of saved each other all this confusion.”

I gasped at his confirmation that he did indeed tell him about us.

“Tom, what did you tell him and why?” He rolled onto his back and pulled me on top of him now. He looked guilty and sorry. “Is it that bad Tom?” he ran his thumb over my lips as he confessed.

“It was the first time we met, when you brought him to Zendaya's birthday party. After I got liquid courage I pulled him aside and asked him if he cared about you. He answered yes in a defensive way and it pissed me off. So I told him if he didn’t care he could leave because I was ready to prove that I already cared for you. Then I was an asshole and told him he better learn how priceless you are, because during the time I had you I wasted it on being to afraid to tell you and I lost you. He let me walk away without saying a word. I think he was ready to punch me. He didn’t leave your side the rest of the party because if he did I was going to just tell you the truth.”

“What’s truth Tom? Tell me now, perhaps it can save more confusion.”

“You were my closest friend. Number one outside of Haz, Jessa. I always wanted you around. Every tour, every comic con, the interviews..then we became whatever we were. I thought we were piecing the puzzle, then we drifted apart.”

“We agreed friendship wouldn’t add pressure to our skyrocketing careers Tom.” I felt my emotions kick up as he wiped my tear. “I didn’t want to lose you all the way.”

“I only agreed because I thought it was my only option to not lose you either way.”

“Tom tell me the truth you told him..” I said closing my eyes bracing myself.     

“I love you Jessa, the truth is I’ve loved you as my friend and just fell deeper in love. I’ve never stopped loving you baby.”

“I love you too Tom and I’m not afraid to keep loving you.”

We drifted off to sleep in eachothers arms, clung to one another like we would never let go.

  Thank you for reading this! If you like what your reading, let me know with a like and reblog. I’m sorry for being gone so long but I’m back and have plenty to share. Happy reading until next time! Hugz!!   

Tagging for singnal boost I’m sorry just a little nervous after a 4 mo hiatus. Let me know if you want removed and I will :) @hazhasmycoffeex3 @uglypastels @cryssilynn18 @frootloop311 @tentarium @celestesteffens @cartwheelandfaceplant @the-claire-bitch-project