#i can already see myself from a stranger's perspective

[mihai-florescu]

How many weeks into a job would it be appropriate to start wearing my wataei itabag to the office?

[anantaru]

more rich boy alhaitham pls🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽i love the concept and how u wrote it😭🙏🏽😭🙏🏽😭🙏🏽😭🖤

cw. ⪩⪨ fem! reader, rich boy au, rich boy alhaitham, process of falling for you HARD, a little possessive again because I cannot help myself, rough sex & very messy

whether you believe it or not, rich boy alhaitham has never been in love before— and the scribe thinks about one specific kind of love here, one you read about in books, one you can evidently witness between two strangers while crossing the street.

essentially, he was attractive and he knew it, a man blessed with extraordinary intelligence and talent, bringing to mind that he was exceptionally wealthy as well.

so, speaking from an outer perspective, those factors certainly couldn't be the reason as to why he was unlucky on finding his perfect match— in fact, no one could ever deny how greatly alhaitham was being admired by the people of sumeru.

or was he?

or perhaps, they really don't often pay attention to him, because you see, he doesn't want them to.

he purposefully keeps a low profile, with a veiled identity and ulterior purposes hidden right beneath, so that he could rest easy and indulge in a comfortable life— with his wealth continuously growing, yet no specific target on what to do with it, or on who to spend it on besides himself.

yes, it was true, he sometimes catches himself getting lonely.

but in spite of that, after he meets you it's different, because suddenly alhaitham finds himself in trouble without noticing how the feelings of love were already coursing through his veins.

how unnoticeable falling in love was, snap and it's over, it's astonishing how he just needed to get closer to you.

you swallow thickly, and it was foreseeable that you ended up in his bed again, it's on the point of each night that it ends the exact same way now.

both of you knew why you were sharing a bed again— lewd and lustful traces curving over the slopes of your body and stimulating your needs— how utterly interesting how fast someone's mind could simply switch off and decide that you were in love now.

just from a simple look, and alhaitham was yours.

and he never would've let this happen to himself— the stress on how to navigate through an emotion such as love, especially since there wasn't a rational answer behind the multiple explanations he read about in the past, nor could you buy real, pure love with money.

if it were for anybody at all, he would just brush it off or at least try, but you just had to be so cruel and invade his mind.

you feel his gaze on you now, and it's the way his breath tumbles over your parted mouth that you know he's done for— his tongue driving between your lips before lapping over your pink muscle as his hips leisurely push into you.

it drives alhaitham insane, no amount of money could even come close to this feeling of pleasure and genuine lust, it's like a heavy drug someone would grow addicted to in the twinkling of an eye.

you squeal when he bites down on your bottom lip, your trembling frame teetering on the edge of a rapid sensation while every slap of skin turns the bedroom aflame, until the pleasure goes straight to your puffy clit, overflowing your belly with butterflies.

a burning pressure pricks at your spongy walls as his cock repeatedly crowds you, giving your hips a good squeeze as alhaitham presses you back into his length, making sure you're taking him all at once.

your arousal was clinging to his toned abs and turned the view before you all the more sinful, your soft pussy glistening with your slick and his pre when he uses it as a natural lubricant to make it pleasurable to the both of you, hitting your aching spots just like that.

alhaitham can hear how much you're enjoying this and he hopes he doesn't give away how much he has been enjoying this as well. of course, it's much more evident in your case, precisely from the way your moans trembled and your hips stuttered and flinch into his dripping dick, your body attempting but ultimately failing to meet his thrusts half way as you're struggling to find any strength to lift your hips up.

alhaitham sees it's too much for you by now, he can also feel it in the way you're clamping around the base of his erection with dripping heat, until he was all soaked and wet in your oozing arousal.

needless to say, the wealthy man placed a mental note into the deepest depths of his brain for later— to, as one might expect, treat you to a glorious shopping spree with a luxurious dinner waiting for you afterwards.

basically wherever you wanted to go to, he would make it possible, because obviously he will make it happen just for you! and wether the feelings he was encountering right now were pure and good ..

.. alhaitham would do anything to keep you, and he won't ever lose you.

©2023 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[the-case-book-of-fanfiction]

Love Bites {Masterlist}

With your memory spotty, you gravitate toward the first person you see—an old friend from a very old past. But Astarion is keeping plenty of secrets...and he's never been the best liar. How long will it take before his deceptions unravel? And what will you do when you realize just how much damage he's done?

Ship: Astarion Ancunin x fem!vampire spawn!elf!Tav/reader

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, vampire spawn!Tav, fem!Tav, manipulative but guilty/regretful Astarion, Astarion's sexual trauma, Cazador, vampire bite, reader is turned into a spawn, reader is technically one of Astarion's victims

18+ Warnings: vaginal sex, consensual sex, mirror sex, riding, fingering, oral, blood kink, bite kink, loving sex, non-descriptive noncon/dubcon (Astarion’s trauma), Astarion experimenting with his boundaries

Total Word Count: 47,397 words (87 pages)

Notes: The title of this fic (and some of its chapter titles) is heavily inspired by Def Leppard's song Love Bites.

Posting Schedule can be found on my {Updates Page}

CONTENT NOTE: Where Astarion's perspective comes into this fic, I tried writing his experience with his hurt that he has been treated this way along with his "this is what I do" mentality; he's very back and forth about the abuse he's endured and some of my writing reflects that. If that upsets you or makes you uncomfortable in anyway, I completely understand and I encourage you to leave the fic at any point. However, I do believe writing this perspective is necessary, as his blasé take on his sexual trauma is one that I myself have struggled with, as I am sure other survivors have as well.

☟ story parts linked below ☟

Best Unremembered {Chapter 1} Waking up with a spotty memory and the only person you do remember is jarring enough—but it only gets worse when the people who remember you are monsters and strangers.

Walking Corpses {Chapter 2} Astarion's night spent searching for prey is interrupted by an unwelcome feeling of familiarity. Your life is derailed by recognizing a long-dead friend.

Little Love {Chapter 3} Appearances can be deceiving, but they can also tell you everything you need to know. A second look at the elf you once called a friend is all you need to fill in the two-hundred year gap.

The Golden Elf {Chapter 4} Sometimes, vampires choose their spawn specifically. Sometimes, they're in the wrong place at the wrong time and are lost to their loved ones for centuries. These days, that's all you can think about.

Little Star, Little Sun {Chapter 5} A long-awaited reunion that doesn't go quite as planned can lead to many things, especially when two manipulators both lay their traps for one another. Though is it really a trap when all you want to do is spare your lover from yet another night of torment?

Love Bites {Chapter 6} Astarion remembers you, but it's already too late. He's bedded you and remembered the love and life you had together, two hundred years ago, and now he has to make a choice. Does he sacrifice himself, or does he sacrifice you?

Love Bleeds {Chapter 7} Fangs gleam in the shadows and a coffin lies open nearby. Vampire lords are nasty creatures; even a changed heart can do very little when there are claws around it.

On My Knees {Chapter 8} A betrayal so severe even centuries of love threaten to break beneath its weight. Yet you offer forgiveness, even if Astarion has not felt its kindness in two hundred years.

Second Chances {Epilogue} Home is a place and home is people. You have quite the large family now, and it's time to provide for them, however you may.

Love Bites Soundtrack — 3h50min

Chapter 1: tracks 1 - 6 Chapter 2: tracks 7 - 13 Chapter 3: tracks 14 - 19 Chapter 4: tracks 20 - 26 Chapter 5: tracks 27 - 32 Chapter 6: tracks 33 - 40 Chapter 7: tracks 41 - 46 Chapter 8: tracks 47 - 53 Epilogue: tracks 54 - 60

[Image Caption: I do not give permission to repost, translate, or publish my work on any other site or app by anyone except myself. I do not give permission for my work to be fed into AI (for audio, art, or writing).]

Baldur's Gate 3 // Astarion Ancunin

Taglist: {comment and let me know if you'd like to be added to the Astarion taglist!} @wayward-hel @cheeslyy @ofmyth-andmagicart @neetheslayer @whispering-depths @freesidexjunkie @lightsinmycity @the0ldmann @gobbodoggo @oooof-ifellforyou @beeblisss @fangboner @aquaarietes @fiercest-eigengrau-skies @niqhtfell @call-me-nyxx @lueji-m @ceres-xiv @tricksy-trinity @graynstairs @rosa-rubus @ynisthatyou @thegoodwitchs-blog @catching-fire-in-the-wind @kiyastrf94 @vincemachina @silverfangmarks @ravenswritingroom @hinata7346 @hellethil @caramel-hufflepuff @beemiilk @mypainischronicbutmyassisiconic @starwatch77 @julianmarie @sadexistentialism @supernaturallover15 @writinghound @frankie-mercury @kindadolly @infernalrusalka

[a-doubleh-x]

Why I like Charlastor

The other day I noticed there was some negativity in the Charlastor tag, including antis and people feeling the need to defend against antis, so I thought I might as well take a step back and just write candidly about why I like the ship.

I only got into Hazbin in October of last year, but already it has inspired me a lot to write and fantazise about it. Like most people, I started with the classic "they look cute together", but as I kept looking I couldn't help but think there was something else to these two than first met the eye.

For starters, I love Pollyanas! I think they get a bad rep for being naive, but I just appreciate an optimist like Charlie who just wants to make people around her happy because it makes her happy. I also like bad boys 😳 I'm a pretty heteronormative guy, so I haven't had a big chance to explore that part of myself yet, but I do like the danger and excitement someone like Alastor brings to the table.

I will admit when I started writing Charlastor I felt like I was handling dynomite. It's a lil scary to ship a boundless altruist with a manipulative sociopath, but bear with me.

I think each of them has something the other needs. I think Charlie needs someone to challenge her, someone to steer her in the right direction while she's mostly isolated. At the start of the series, practically nobody but Vaggie takes her seriously, and Alastor is no exception. He mocks her, teases her, but she still listens and I think it's because somewhere deep down she understands there's something he's trting to communicate in his annoying, but curious way.

Of course, I also love the fanon Charlie who's down bad for Alastor, and even if that Charlie is a little naive, I think it's also sweet and she can use some indulgence while most people treat her like a child.

On the other hand, when it comes to Alastor, this is a bit of a theory on my part, but I think he's secretely lonely. He has friends, certainly, like Rosie and Mimzy, but they're not good enough friends to live together with him. They don't seem to be able to save him from "pure, absolute boredom". But Charlie, for some reason can, even though she's a stranger at the beginning when Alastor chooses to move into the Hotel.

Alastor is not as much of a cynic as someone who chooses to see things in a perspective that benefits him. He doesn't think redeeming sinner is "hopeless", but "hilarious" instead, which has interesting implications to me. That's why he chooses to hover around Charlie, not because he thinks she's lame, rather because he thinks she's silly. She makes him laugh. Which I think is kind of how Alastor sees "love".

And then you have fanon Alastor who, depending on the writer, is either a horny animal, a wisecrack edgelord or a soft boy who's mean to everyone but Charlie XD I like several of those interpretations, but I kinda prefer mine just out of personal taste. I think the best part about Alastor is that he doesn't *care* what anyone thinks of him and always does what he wants, even at the expense of other people, which I find pretty enviable.

They're kinda both outcasts in their own ways. Charlie by being unable to fit in and Alastor being unwilling to compromise. But they don't judge each other. He supports her in his own weird way and she houses him and is delighted of him in general, which is tasty food for his ego. I do wonder why Alastor is interested in Charlie, both in canon and in a fandom vacuum.

There's some cool potential for drama there, but also growth and healing, in my opinion. Personally, I think Alastor doesn't want to actually *hurt* Charlie, but he may hurt those around her, which will be a moment to start settling compromises if Charlie puts her foot down.

That haz bin my review so far! I'm honestly pretty grateful for Vivziepop for all of the work she's done so far, I know directing, animating and writing two shows over the course of 5 year or so ain't easy. I'm also grateful to the fandom who shares their thoughts and vision, which calms the terrible voices I started hearing in my head since I bought this weird old radio.

I'm in the middle of a break, but if you're interested in my fanfics I'll get back to writing very soon. Cheers! 🌈❤🦌

[redeyerhaenyra]

perv neighbor basil smut im begging u

Perv!Neighbour Basil finds your camgirl account

Summary: Basil is your neighbour, and after having formed a parasocial relationship with you, he finds your camgirl account. Things get.. a little out of hand.

Warnings: Oh man this one is filthy- Stalking, Parasocial relationships, m masturbation, cum tribute, professional sex work, cumming untouched, jealously, crying, like alot of crying, sextoy use, f reader

Notes: Myself and @ominoose have been bouncing this headcanon around in the dms for a bit and I finally have the opportunity to write it! I hope you like it baby tysm for requesting xx I really got carried away like this is SO LONG my goodness- This can be read as a part 2 to this fic but can also be enjoyed standalone x

Basil has been watching you for a while

You're his neighbour, you moved in to the flat opposite him a couple months ago, and the only verbal interaction you'd had with him was a polite introduction through his letterbox when he wouldn't open the door

You hadn't seen him at all, physically. He'd seen you though.

Oh had he seen you

His heart swelled every morning and evening he'd watch you leave and come home from work, nights out, trips to the shop, ect

His relationship to you, practically non-existent as it were, at least from your perspective, was... complicated

Half of Basil understood you two were already dating, loyal to one another. The other half of him understood that that was a fantasy, and he often found himself caught between the two realities

Poor Basil so desperately wants the untruth to become the truth. He wants to kiss you, profess his love, have it be your hand tugging him off instead of his own every night

But since the... accident, he wouldn't dare let you see him. You'd never accept him- no one would. He was a monster

Poor baby, so insecure 😔

Eventually, jerking off whilst peering at you through the letterbox whenever you enter or exit your home isn't enough. He needs to see you, properly. Stare at your beautiful face and take in all it's contours and shapes without having to have you do the same to him

And so.. he goes online.

He knows your name- you'd told him when you'd tried to be a nice neighbour and say hi, and so with a little sleuthing, he finds your Instagram

Basil spends hours pouring through your every photo, getting wildly jealous and crying (yes he cries poor baby) when he sees photos with other men, and roughly pulling on his cock until its red and raw, having cum so many times over his thighs and chest.

He becomes even more obsessed, his need to see you covered in his cum in some way or another becomes an vital as eating and drinking

He starts printing out your photos and cumming on them- considers laminating them so he can wipe them clean and go all over again

But then what about keeping them covered? Forever staining you with his seed? He can't pick

One day, when he's going about his ritual of jerking it to your insta, he finds a new link in your bio;

"18+ site! Adult only content! Click here❤️"

That perks his interest

Sure he's not stranger to porn, or camgirls, what with all the time he spends alone watching porn, but you? He'd never have assumed.

Basil's heart races, and his dick twitches beneath his sweats

Tentatively, he clicks on the link

Your website looks professional, all properly set up

The first thing he sees is a trailer video- and oh boy

He literally cannot stop the sudden, untouched orgasm flooding through him when he sees the sneak peak you've put together of your content

He's so loud moaning and whining, tears well up again in his eyes becuase he's so sensitive but he needs more

This teaser video of you playing with your nipples and rubbing your tiny pussy through your panties isn't enough

And so, Basil goes to your subscription page. Immediately gets the highest sub deal, he doesn't care if he can't afford it. He needs you so much he'd bankrupt himself if he had to

The benefits of this subscription are many; He gets access to your work DM, he gets two video calls with you a week, and he gets to request some content from you.

Basil couldn't not be happier, he even forgts about his facial insecurity when a few minutes later he sees a message from you pop up on his notifs;

"Hi baby! Thankyou so so much for becoming one of my top donors! It really does mean the world x"

He forces himself to respond, anxiety creeping up his shoulder;

"Yeah np love your work."

Jesus he didn't mean to come off so dickish

You quell his feelings of worry with a smiley emoji, and ask him "So, what's with the username? "Lightningface"?"

He gulps. "I just like lightning is all."

"It is such a pretty phenomenon."

Pretty.. you'd called it pretty. The thing that had maimed him, his deformity... might you have called that pretty too?

"Soooo you're due to request some content from me! What would you like?"

And honestly, Basil isn't sure

Anything you'd give him, he'd take

"I don't mind."

"Are you sure? It is your request that you've paid me for, you can ask for whatever you like!"

Basil really thinks for a moment. A real head scratcher.

"Can you say my name?"

Basil doesn't realise how possessive he sounds

"Sure can!"

"Can it be my irl name?"

"Of course! What is it?"

The man holds his breath as he responds; "Basil. Like the herb."

"Omg!!! That's such a cute name!"

He giggles to himself, you're so fucking adorable he loves you so much

You tell him you'll make his request into a segment during your next livestream

He's jealous, he doesn't want you performing for anyone else.. but like I said, he'll take what he can get

Most of the time until his segment of your livestream he spends crying and jerking off in a strange cycle.

You're his, you shouldn't be showing off.. he feels like you've betrayed him. But at the same time you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen

Poor Basil is so conflicted

Finally, however, his request segment begins

You smile sweetly at the camera, and wave

"So, next up, I have a request from one of my top donors, he has such a cute name! Said he didn't mind what I did so I think i'm gonna surprise him~"

You reach to the side, pulling forth a clear silicone dildo

It's big. Basil gulps, could you take it? What if it hurt you?

You place it beneath you on your bed and slowly tease it between your folds, having already discarded all your clothes at this point

Basil chokes, his worn out cock stirring to life again

And then.. oh then..

You moan out his name, slowly sinking yourself onto the sextoy

Basil moans with you, and figures you must have an expensive microphone because the sounds coming from the screen are all but blasphemous

He loses himself to the rhythmic squelching of your cunt and your moans of his names

He cums so quickly, and there's so much of it, all over his chest

Poor baby whimpers, trying desperately to coax his poor dick back to life, not wanting to have finished so quickly

He wanted to last longer for you..

Luckily you finish not too long after him, he wants to swallow all of your sounds with his mouth

He's never seen such perfection

Glistening with sweat and panting, satisfied, you address the camera for the final time that night;

"I hope you enjoyed Basil, again thankyou so much for donating, I love you all so much, goodnight!"

You end the stream, Basil is plunged back into the dark loneliness of his flat

He sits for a few moments, taking in what just happened..

He soon finds himself looking at wedding rings online

[sadcatprince]

I forgot I already started drawing this and wrote out the whole scenario... uh oops?

I did a combination of the two prompts for day 6 (which I'm surprised I didn't do more ngl). So this one is Time Travel AND Protectiv rolled together. Enjoy the doodle and bonus(?) pentadrabble below the cut.

This is implied to be a hate crime and Vlad kind of gestures at the AIDS crisis if your sensitive to things like that.

This was bad, Danny was supposed to be keeping contact to a minimum and keeping an eye out for the ghost trying to undo his existence. Now he was following a college aged Vlad, who was trying his absolute hardest to ignore Danny. After a few blocks he reeled on Danny though, wincing and letting out an audible grunt of pain as he landed on his injured ankle. 

Danny could see the damage to his face more clearly now as if glared up at him. Vlad's right cheek was swollen and already an ugly mottled purple. His lip was split but it had stopped bleeding already. “Look, man, I'm glad you helped me but you need to stop following me!” 

The idea made Danny tense and he rejected it down to his core. “No way. That was like five guys. If they jump you again they could kill you. I'm not leaving until I see you get into your dorm.”

At least then he knew dad would be able to keep an eye on him. Probably help him with that nasty black eye. Danny pushed away the thought of doing that himself. Vlad probably wasn't even going to let dad help, honestly. Vlad was giving him a suspicious look, his other eye narrowing to match the one neatly swollen shut. “Wait, how do you know I live in a dorm?”

Oh, fuck. Vlad looked ready to bolt. He needed a lie. Fast. He looked around and smiled sheepishly, “I guess I just assumed, you're the right age, you have a backpack… we’re heading toward the campus?” 

Vlad looked unconvinced. “Okay. I still don't need a bodyguard. I'm perfectly capable of getting back home myself.” 

“You can barely walk.” Danny countered. 

That seemed to make something snap in Vlad. He took an aggressive step forward then swore in pain and stumbled. Danny caught him easily. That just made Vlad more irate. He shoved at Danny hard, “Why do you even care? You don't even know me!” 

It was true. At least from Vlad’s perspective. It wasn't like Danny could tell him the truth. If Danny was honest with himself it was true in the “present” too. It seemed like the older he got the more he realized he didn't know Vlad at all. Even worse was the fact that it hurt more every time it hit him. If only he could go on pretending he didn't know why.

Danny sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Look, you're right. I don't know you but I think I want to.”

Vlad shifted uncomfortably. He looked ready to try running again and his cheeks were getting redder. He’d started pulling his backpack between them like a shield. “I… I don’t know what you heard those guys saying but I’m NOT like that okay? Even if I was watching the news, I'm not going to sleep with some stranger!” 

“Wait that isn't what I m-” It was too late Vlad had thrown his backpack and started running, despite his clearly sprained ankle.

Danny followed him out of sight after that.

End

[salty-an-disco]

*thinks about how there's several different versions of Hero who acts a little different depending on which route you take him through–*

*thinks about how the Hero that appears in the middle of the final battle describes himself as being 'all of them'*

*thinks about how all those different Heroes might not have been able to completely integrate themselves into a single individual*

Conclusion: Hero would develop a system (a median system, to be more exact)

Yep. This was the main reason I started drawing different variants for Hero in different chapters and givin' them different names, everyone can go home now /lhj /silly

Anyway, since I already drew all the guys, might as well talk about them in the context of Hero being a system

(note: I've semi-recently found I, myself, am a system, so a lot of this is me processing this stuff and trying to puzzle things out through my blorbo. shout out to Hero for making this discovery a lot easier to digest. that means a lot of what I'm writing here comes from my own experience and perspectives. Also, I'll be calling the different Heroes 'facets', as that represents better what they are to him)

Since they all come from the exact same source (forms through Chapter I), they don't really see themselves as all that separate or different people. The different titles are more nicknames than anything, they're all 'Hero', just– from a slightly different angle and with different roles/priorities. Hero doesn't hear distinct voices in his head like Quiet, he's more like Shifty, in a way, having their feelings and different texture affect his behavior.

Hero is vaguely aware of these different facets, even giving them those titles as a way to organize and understand himself, but doesn't worry too much about it. That's just how he is.

As for the different facets and their role within the system–

– Hero: Host; front-stuck – Technically speaking, his route would be the Stranger one, as that's where he spent the least amount of time in Chapter I and didn't develop any other identity besides 'Hero'. Not necessarily the 'original', and would rather not worry about that lest it triggers another existential crisis, but is definitely the 'main one'. The main face that's always there. Behavior and thought-process can change depending on other facets present.

– Savior: Protector/Persecutor – Formed when his will power was broken and subdued by someone far stronger. Is intent on not letting that happen again. Very headstrong and certain of himself; he has to be, or else their willpower will break again. Mainly appears to help deal with threats much bigger than them. (Fun fact: in warped AU, he and Hero were fused together)

– Champion: Physical Protector – Formed by a desire to fight and persevere against an opponent that can kill you. Very strategy-minded, focused on better ways to get out of a confrontation alive. Will always try to get out of battles with the least amount of injuries to the body possible. Does not like confrontation, but will go through it if it means survival. Appears anytime there's a need to fight and/or survive. Often alongside Savior or Fledgling.

– Liar: Social Protector/Caretaker – Formed when forced to betray someone you previously intended on helping. Despite the title, Liar is very aversed to lying, and despises when others are being dishonest. Why play these weird games that just makes things more difficult? Can't we just be blunt with each other and makes things easier? Appears when the host feels judged or like he's being given an unfair assumption during a social encounter, or later on, when the host is thinkin' back to a certain social situation that didn't go to well. Helps process those leftover feelings and make sure the host is doing well emotionally and socially.

– Fledgling: Protector – Formed when made to feel cornered by a dangerous creature and clawed to death. Similar role to Champion, in theory, though he appears, more broadly, when the host starts feeling cornered in any way. Which doesn't happen solely in physical fights. Very helpful when appearing to deal with a physical threat, not so much when the threat is more emotional or social.

– Dashing: Emotion Holder/Uplifter – Formed from a desire to do nothing but good to someone else. Not as positive and optimistic as his paired voice during The Damsel, but still makes sure the host knows doesn't forget there's always a bright side and some hope to hold on to. Makes sure the host is taking the time to appreciate the things and people he love and that he isn't getting to caught up in worries and anxiety.

– Accomplice: Memory Holder/Cheergiver – Formed when despite your misgivings, you put your trust in someone else. His role is more vague than the others, but is generally there to give support to those outside of the system. Makes the host take a step back and let someone they trust take the reigns, for once.

– Haunted: Caretaker – Formed while spending a good few lifetimes in Nothingness. Not exactly sure what he's supposed to do here, but tries his best to help. Took some pointers from Cold and encourages the host to put feelings aside for now, if only to focus on taking care of the body before diving back into them. The one that knows self-care, and appears when the body desperately needs it.

– Dreamer: Trauma Holder – Formed as you tried to close your eyes and pretend there's no danger just in front of you. This one is Trauma Personified and mainly only appears when the host is triggered. When he appears, it's very difficult for Hero to differentiate reality from delusions, and it feels like he's back in the construct, fighting for his life and sanity.

– Ribbons: ???/Shell – Formed across 4 chapters; as more pieces broke off, very little was left of him. Less of a facet and more a general feeling of Nothingness. That can be useful when the host is feeling too overwhelmed to think. Just kinda makes Hero zone out and shut down when he appears.

Bonus: what it looks like when some of the facets are close to front. Whether or not Hero will shapeshift depends on how long a facet lingers, and how much they're affecting him. Often, he doesn't shapeshift at all despite the many facets that appeared throughout the day

[writingfandomfeels]

Anakin Skywalker - The Jedi's Bodyguard

Summary: There's an assassin after Anakin so the council order him to lay low at a safe house, with you to protect him.

Word count: 2k

Content Warnings: Porn with plot, smut, cunnilingus, fingering, intercourse, orgasm denial, overstimulation, Anakin calling you "babygirl".

The large doors opened to reveal the council, sitting in the circle the way they did. You quietly entered and stood against the wall near the door, watching as the meeting unfolded.

Anakin stood in the center, facing the council.

“I am more than capable of taking care of myself!” He argued.

“Anakin, you must understand, we don’t know what this assassin is capable of, nor his motives. Until we can determine such things we simply cannot put you at risk.” Obi-Wan reasoned.

“I do not fear death, master. If putting my life at risk gives us an advantage in apprehending this stranger then I wish to do so!”

“The council appreciates your dedication, young Skywalker,” Mace Windu said sternly, “however, the mission has already been assigned, and alternative arrangements have been made.” He nodded in your direction.

Anakin followed his gaze to where you stood.

Feeling rather uncomfortable and unsure how to respond, you gave him an awkward wave accompanied by the kind of tight lipped smile you give a stranger when you accidentally make eye-contact with them in passing.

While Anakin was hardly a stranger as you had been friends for years and secretly even more than that in recent months, the situation itself carried a strangeness that you weren’t sure how to handle. 

The council approached you earlier that day, explaining the situation and that they wanted to place Skywalker under your protection until they’d had a chance to further investigate the attempt made on his life. While you were in equal rank to him and agreed with the argument you expected he’d use, that he was perfectly capable of defending himself, you also understood Obi-Wan’s reasoning of wanting him to have backup, and as he couldn’t do it himself since he had been assigned investigating the assassin, he recommended you, knowing that Anakin might be less obtuse if it were a friend he were saddled with.

You watched as Anakin turned back to the council, breathing slowly. You wondered if it was a breath of relief he was letting out, or of frustration for the council.

“There is a safehouse on the moon of Endor. A cabin. We will retrieve you there when it is time.” Mace informed.

“Spend this time meditating, you must, for temptation paves the path to the dark-side.” Yoda instructed.

You both bowed to the council before exiting into the hallway. Almost immediately, Anakin began complaining. 

“I can’t believe they think I need a babysitter and won’t let me hunt the bastard. If anyone can catch him, it’s me!” 

“While I don’t doubt that, maybe you’re looking at this from the wrong perspective.” You suggested.

He looked at you confused as to how there could possibly be any other way of looking at it. 

You stopped walking and grabbed his arm so he would stop and look at you. “We were just given orders to hide out in a cabin together. Alone. Do you see where I’m going with this now?”

Realization lit up his face, as a smile began to grow. “Well then what are we waiting for?” 

He darted off to the spaceport.

Once on the ship, Anakin was already in the pilot seat when you approached.

“Uh-uh-uh,” You corrected and he gave you a look. “I’m flying.”

He blinked, still smiling. “No you’re not.” 

“Um, yeah, I am. Council’s orders.” You stated.

“What’s wrong with my flying?” He grumbled, getting up and switching to the co-pilot’s seat.

You shrugged. “I think the words were ‘too reckless’?”

He scoffed. “Name one time!” 

You snickered at his sarcasm. 

It wasn’t long before you reached your destination. After gently landing the ship, you noticed Anakin eagerly jumping out of his seat and getting ready to open the door.

“Hold on a second,” you warned.

“Why?” He asked.

“I haven’t checked yet if it’s safe.” You said. 

“There’s nobody around, it’s fine.” 

“Look,” you said, getting a little frustrated. You knew being Anakin’s security wouldn’t prove easy, but you’d hoped you could at least get to the cabin before having to assert yourself. “It’s my job to protect you. I was entrusted with making sure you’re safe and not doing anything crazy so it’s not fine until I say it’s fine.” You said, pausing to determine with the force that there really was no sign of threat. Which there wasn’t. “It’s fine.”

Smiling that he was right, he rolled his eyes at you and exited the ship.

You made it to the cabin just as night fell. The cabin was old and not well insulated, letting the cold air of the night seep in. 

You shivered. “I’ll get us a fire started.” You said, crouching in front of the fireplace.

Anakin joined you. “I have some other ideas of how we could keep warm.”

You felt him place a gentle kiss on your jawline as you watched the dark wooden walls light up in the glow of the fire.

He brushed your hair away and pulled at your robe so he could begin trailing kisses down your neck, to your collarbone, then your shoulder as he slowly continued to expose more of your skin. 

You hummed happily as he kissed, taking you in his arms now and slowly leaning you, until your back laid against the old woven rug on the floor.

Taking things up a notch, Anakin nibbled at your neck, eliciting a soft moan from you. 

He continued his kisses down to your chest, pulling back just for a moment, wanting to look at you. As he did, you reached to undo his robe as well, revealing his gorgeous chest.

“God, you get more beautiful every time I see you.” He stared. 

You smiled, fighting off a blush. “Alright, enough, just come here already.” You said, reaching your arms out, intending to wrap them around him and pull him against you. But instead he pulled back where you couldn’t reach him.

“Ah,” he grinned, watching your expression, “maybe you can boss me around out there, but in here, I’m in charge.”

And with that, he pulled off the rest of your clothing, leaving you naked before him. He hummed in approval. “Absolutely perfect.”

Leaning back down to you now, he palmed your breast with his hand, while kissing down your stomach. 

Your heart raced as you anticipated where he was headed.

A few kisses and nibbles against your inner thighs left you weak, as you begged to feel more of him. 

“Ani- please.” You requested softly.

“Hmm, only if you’re patient.” He responded from between your thighs, caressing them with his fingers now and giving you goosebumps.

He let another moment pass before licking up your slit, stopping just before reaching your clit. 

You sighed, letting your eyes close, relieved to have finally felt him, and desperate to again. 

He obliged, moving his tongue against you, then finally swirling it around your bud. 

Softly you moaned as he kept it up, lapping at you, until you felt him slip two fingers inside of you.

You moaned louder. “Oh god, yes.” 

His long fingers rubbed against your inner roof, pulling your orgasm closer and closer.

“Ah, fuck,” you cursed, feeling yourself just on the edge of bliss.

Suddenly it all stopped. Your eyes shot open to see him grinning devilishly as he sat up, wiped his fingers on his robe, and stood to take off his pants. 

“Remember babygirl,” he said, now crawling on top of you. He inserted his length then leaned down so his face was just inches away. “I’m in charge now.” he whispered before crashing his lips down hard.

Passionately, you kissed, as he began rocking into you in time to the movement of your mouths. You brought your hand up to the back of his head, burying your fingers into his soft hair, and pulling at it as you scratched his head.

He moaned into your mouth in response. You knew how much he loved you touching his hair. And he knew how much you loved hearing him moan.

You kissed his neck, eliciting another moan from him. 

“This isn’t right, you should be moaning way more than me.” He said. “Let’s fix that, shall we?”

Anakin took your legs, lifting them up so your ankles rested on his shoulders by his ears. Immediately you gasped at the deeper penetration, unable to conceal your moans. 

You felt the familiar coil in your stomach tighten again, winding you back up to your release. Anakin quickened his pace, his tip now rubbing against you in such a way that your moans were broken with gasps. 

“Oh, don’t stop,” you whined needily.

“Stop? Okay.” Anakin teased and pulled out completely.

Your eyes fluttered in disbelief as you felt your O dissipate. “What? No!” 

He chuckled, pleased with himself.

“What?” He asked innocently. You felt him poke his tip at you, just barely inside. “Is there something you want?” 

“Mmmm,” you moaned, your eyes shut again as your pussy tried so hard to pull him back in.

“Sorry, what’s that?” Anakin teased. “Use your words babygirl.”

“Ani- please, I need it.” You begged.

“Need what?” He pressed. 

“I need your-” just as you were about to say exactly what he wanted, he pushed back into you all the way, causing your voice to crack, “Ah- your cock!”

He rammed into you relentlessly. Your legs began to quiver as you began to build back up to your high again.

“Not until I say so.” He instructed, not breaking eye-contact with you. 

Both of your breathing was ragged. His thrusts were steady and controlled, indicating he was nowhere close and could keep this torture up for a while. Sweat beaded on his face, glimmering with the flickering glow of the flames next to you.

Electricity tingled through your senses, growing more and more intense.

You brought your hand to his chest, your palm stroking down his pecs to his abdomen where you then traced your fingertips over his abs. You felt them tensing against you with each roll of his body into you. Moving back up to his pecs, you rolled one of his nipples under your thumb.

A low groan rumbled out from him and his eyes shut in pleasure.

“Oh, you’re fucking asking for it now.” He growled.

Suddenly pulling your hand away from him, he grabbed your wrists, holding them at your sides, above your head. As he thrusted, his pelvis would press firmly against your swollen bud, nearly sending you over the edge. Your head went fuzzy and you chose to close your eyes again as the world spun in front of you. Your whole body began trembling, and you squeezed his length.

“Not yet.” He ordered.

“Ani, I can’t.” You whimpered, squirming under him. 

“Not without my permission.”

You whined, the sensations growing almost painful. “I- I need to-”

“Hey, you hear me?”

You opened your eyes, only feeling his metal hand on your one wrist now.

“You can’t come until I say.” He said, waving his hand over you.

Did he really just?

He moved his hand down to your clit now, circling it with the pad of his thumb. The electricity pulsing within you felt like it was bouncing off a wall, desperate to escape but completely unable to. 

Your moans turned into loud begging cries. 

“Oh god baby, please, it hurts!” You cried.

His thumb continued to rub, steady, just like his hips. 

“Almost,” he said softly, “you’re such a good girl. You can make it.”

Tears filled your eyes, one rolling down your cheek, which Anakin kissed away.

He kissed from your cheek, down to your neck, then with his lips just barely touching your ear, he whispered, “now.”

You wailed as your back arched, pushing him further into you. 

Every climax you’d been denied was released at once. Ecstasy crashed over you like a powerful wave shattering through the wall of a dam. The lightning pulsing through your veins was released, coursing out of you through shaking limbs and trembling hands. Your body tensed and contracted, allowing multiple releases to continually flow through you. 

Anakin groaned, eyes shut, throwing his head back, biting his lip so hard he tasted a little blood, as his own release came.

You rode the rolling wave of bliss slowly coming down, down, down.

Both of you panted, as he then allowed himself to collapse onto you, sloppily kissing at your neck.

“Best babysitter ever.” He mumbled.

“Bodyguard.” You corrected.

He smirked. “Okay.” 

[loneduet]

Secrets - Part 1

Summary: You love Sokka and it scares you. You don't know what he'll do if he finds out. (Your a firebender)

A/N - ngl I wrote this for myself because of my recurring obsession with this lovable boy.

warnings: kissing, kinda short sorry

Hope you enjoy!

__________________

It all started when I met aang.

I ran way from my home not too long before i met them. Growing up in the fire nation was rough, especially being the emperors daughter. After zuko left to search for the airebender, i soon followed suit and left my status behind. All I ever was to my father was a dissapointment and I couldn't deal with Azula alone.

I was left with few options of where to go. I ended up living undercover in ba sing se where I soon met three kids my age. They were strangers at first, but now I don't know how I lived life without them. They have become my friends. My family.

While I know they are the exact people my brother is hunting down, I couldn't help but join them on their journey. I don't know what I'll do if I have to face my brother, but I know that I will never betray them.

Each of them showed me a kindness I have never known or deserved. Katara immediately accepted me, she loved having another girl be on the conquest and she insisted on braiding my hair everyday. Aang was kind and understanding. Deep down I know that he is aware of the secrets I keep, but he respects my boundaries and he shows me the fun to be had of everyday things. And than theres sokka. He is a completely different story.

When I met him my whole world was changed. At first he was wary of me and my additional presence to the group, but we soon started to get along. Really get along. He was protective and caring. At first glance, i immediantly respected the way that he treated his sister. While they fought like all siblings do, it's obvious that they truly love each other and I know that sokka will take care of her until the end.

I can see that all sokka wants to accomplish is to be a good leader and brother. He doesn't have bending abilities and he has admitted to me that this is one of his greatest insecurities, but it is far from a flaw. He hides a lot of his fear through his stupid jokes and ridiculous attitude, but I have learned to see through his disguise.

I have fallen so incredibly fast for this water tribe boy and he is completely unaware. Knowing his story, I can't let him find out about my past. He will never love me especially if he knows that im fire nation scum.

__________________

"Y/N, do you want to share with me?"

I looked over to see Sokka and his adorable puppy dog eyes looking at me.

"Of course." I giggle, helping him set up the tent.

Due to our constant travels and relocations, we had very few supplies which resulted in only three tents between the four of us. I wasn't complaining though.

"Goodnight Y/N." Aang said, giving me a friendly kiss on the cheek before heading to his tent.

"Yeah, goodnight!" Katara said with a wink. To her, it was obvious that I liked her older brother. She immediantly approved when she found out about it. If only she knew who I was.

I climbed into our shared tent and zipped it up behind me. Sokka was already laying down opening up the covers for me.

It was a normal thing for sokka and I to fall asleep in each other's embrace. Ever since we accidently fell asleep during one of aangs stories we have been inseparable. Sokka claims that he sleeps better because of how warm I naturally am and frankly he helps me keep the nightmares of my dad at bay.

From an outside perspective, our relationship is definitely weird. It's not normal for 'just friends' to cuddle up to each other every night. Deep down though, we both knew that their are feelings, but neither of us wanted to ruin what we have. What we could have.

I slipped under the covers next to him, his water nation blankets being especially fluffy and comfortable. Naturally his arms wrapped around my smaller frame and I tucked my head against his chest. His slow heart beat helped lull me to sleep.

"Y/N?" Sokka asked right before I dozed off.

"Yea?" I softly replied.

He than looks me straight in the eye. "I'm really glad I met you."

The statement takes me aback and I look maintain his eye contact, sitting up.

"Can I kiss you?" I whisper, not being able to help myself any longer.

He doesn't reply but leans forward and captures my lips with his. His body radiates warmth as he scoops me into his lap. I slide my hands into his soft hair that is let out of his usual ponytail. He grunts softly and let's go of my lips and puts his forehead against mine.

"Y/N, I think I love you."

Before he could return to kissing me my entire body freezes. He notices when I tense and looks at me questionably.

"I cant." I reply, leaving the tent in haste. The boy of my dreams watches my figure go, wondering what he did wrong. I cant do this to him. It has to stop.

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 28 – HISTORICAL FICS

In Amore Veritas by FestiveFerret

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 3,903 Tags: Truth Serum, Class Difference, Reconnecting

Summary: Prince Tony creeps down to the stables one night to meet with his best friend, Steve, one of the stable boys. It's something they do often, but this time, Tony has something special hidden in the wraps of his cloak.

Reasons why I love it: Oh, you poor, silly boys. I'm so glad they cleared up their misunderstanding in the end, because those two idiots deserve each other. This fic is super sweet and fluffy, and I bet you'll love it just as much as I do!

as you have honored them by Areiton

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: M Words: 1,734 Tags: Fantasy AU, Forced Marriage, Protective Steve

Summary: He sits in his chambers, silent as the three serving automans paint his body, gold and crimson. There are the sigils of the Crown that is his birthright, and the ones of Stone’s own kingdom. There are, too, the traditional sigils, of a bride, of the nine gods and the six kingdoms.

Reasons why I love it: Don't mind me, I'm just over here, screaming incoherently into the void. This fic is SO GOOD, oh my god! I love all of the symbolism and the blessings and the ENDING, fuck yes! I really hope you go and read this one if you haven't, because it's phenomenal!

Tribute Given, Treasure Gained by sphagnum

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 12,051 Tags: A/B/O, Power Imbalance, Tribute Tony

Summary: “Steve,” the Captain said, hand over his chest. Tony licked his lips. Was he supposed to give his name, or remain silent until he was asked a direct question? The Captain--Steve, apparently--already knew his name, he had to, it had been included on the settlement he and Stane had signed. Was this a test? Time was passing and Steve was still waiting with his hand on his chest but Tony had to figure out the right answer fast or when Steve moved he might-- “Tony,” he blurted. “Tony,” Steve repeated. He hadn’t come any closer. He said something short that might have been pleased to meet you or you look good on your knees. Tony had no way of knowing and he wasn’t going to risk echoing it. He kept quiet. See, Howard? I do know how to shut up when my life depends on it.

Reasons why I love it: The language barrier gives this story so much tension and intrigue, it's amazing! I love how gentle Steve is with Tony, mindful of his nerves to the very end, and Tony's musings about whether or not he can trust Steve are perfect. I love this fic so much, and you should definitely read it!

a myth to many by nanasekei

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: NR Words: 8,660 Tags: Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Medieval AU, Angst

Summary: “What I’m about to ask you has no relation to our alliance,” Rogers continues, his voice a lot steadier now. “I come here only in behalf of myself, and what I’m about to ask, I ask as a man, not as a soldier.” Howard feels as if he can see the anticipation growing in the room, almost as a cloud forming over them. The guards don’t bother hiding the shock in their expressions, and even Jarvis can’t fully disguise the curiosity, his eyebrows quirked. Rogers takes one short breath before locking his eyes with Howard’s. His blue gaze is almost peaceful in its resoluteness, as if there’s an element of inevitability in what he’s about to say. “I’m here to ask for your son’s hand.”

Reasons why I love it: Aaaah, the ending is so ominous, I love it! The choice to tell this story from Howard's perspective is brilliant. His inner monologue is fascinating, and it reveals so much about Tony's life as his son. And the last few paragraphs are an absolute gut-punch. I adore this one, and I hope you give it a shot for yourself!

Clan (of the Stranger and the Outcast) by greymantledlady

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: M Words: 5,778 Tags: Stone Age AU, Hurt Tony, Protective Steve

Summary: The Stranger holds out his huge hand towards Tony, palm outwards and upwards. Tony watches him warily, baring his teeth a little, not yet a snarl but a warning. But the Stranger simply holds his hand there, waiting, waiting; and his knife is lying on the ground between them, and there is no threat in the lines of his body. Tony lets out a little breath he’s been holding. And he’s trembling, but he slowly reaches his own hand out, tentative and uncertain, and brushes the fingertips against the Stranger’s calloused palm. And the Stranger smiles a little, his eyes soft, and wraps his fingers around Tony’s. (The one where Neanderthal!Steve and Homo Sapiens!Tony imprint on each other like baby ducklings.)

Reasons why I love it: The way they communicate with each other in this one is so precious to me. I love the whole setting and how their culural differences come into play, it's super intriguing. Definitely check this one out, it's wonderful!

[fizzyapplecandy]

The Friendly Ghost Girl

Genre: fluff, angst, strangers to lovers, happy ending (different from each person's perspective)

warnings: character death, heavy themes

4.9k words

Summary:

Is there life after death? After meeting a stranger on his deathbed, a friendly ghost decides to stick around to help him find his peace.

Sometimes, things don't turn out the way you want them to.

You imagine what your life will look like two, five, ten years from now.

A house in the suburbs, a cozy fireplace where you tell Christmas stories, a fluffy dog sitting in the corner...

You get the gist.

Unfortunately for me, this will never be the case.

As I stand over my lifeless body, limbs sprawled on the pavement, paramedics rushing around the scene, I can't help but wonder one thing.

Is death truly the end?

I was an honour student in high school. The best grades, the most accomplishments, medals in every competition there were. College came naturally to someone like me. With a major in business, I was on the way to becoming a success. I could feel it in my veins.

The only thing I feel now is the light breeze coursing through my body as I sit on the edge of a bridge.

In theory, if you fall from this height, you'll probably end up dead. In practise, I am already dead, so this doesn't apply to me.

I don't know what went wrong. One minute I was laughing with my friends, stumbling around after one too many tequila shots, and the next...

I shake my head as the image of running cars passes before my eyes. I feel bad about the people who were with me that night. The sight was not pretty.

I was about to leap from my spot and disappear into the night when I heard whimpering from my right. There are many people crossing over this bridge, but mostly with their cars. I turned my head around and there he was.

Standing a couple of feet beside me, a handsome man leaned down to look into the flowing water under the high bridge. He had a solemn expression on his face. His eyes were red, nose runny, fingers almost blue in colour.

What caught my attention the most were his blood stained lips, and his bare feet.

He looked like he was on the brink of death.

He gripped the railing, and sniffled. I almost felt bad for him, but then I remembered he was the one with a beating heart.

I scoffed.

"Pathetic."

His eyes widened and he turned towards me.

Our eyes met.

Wait?

He could see me?

"Hey there. Isn't it dangerous to be sitting on a ledge so high up?"

"Almost as dangerous as going barefoot in this cold weather. On a non-pedestrian bridge."

A tight lipped smile stretched across his face.

"Fair enough."

I jumped back down and came to a stop before him. He was even prettier up close. With his high nose, foxy eyes and the cutest little mole underneath one of them.

That didn't change the fact that he looked too ill to be standing.

"Is there a reason you chose to come here like this?"

He nodded.

"You see, you are a complete stranger. Which makes it good, because you aren't biased to me personally. Which further means you can give out your honest opinion."

Weird, but hey, he's the first person I've talked to in... Well, I don't know how long.

I crossed my arms in front of me and gestured for him to continue.

"You see... I'm dying. Like, for real. I have had this autoimmune disease and it's been a pain in my ass for ages now. The doctors don't know what to do anymore. They say I'm not going to be able to walk for much longer, or talk. And everything else that comes with being alive. So, to retaliate, I'm going to jump off of this bridge while I'm still myself. I don't want to die tied to bed."

He took a deep breath after finishing his rambling, and it's to say I'm surprised is an understatement.

I took it all in before looking into his eyes. I could tell he was struggling.

"Listen up good buddy, because you aren't going to believe me. I, for one, can say that death is boring, but bearable. If I was in your shoes, I'd do the same. However, seeing as I'm already dead, I can't really help you. I get the point, but it's a stupid one."

He let out a barking laugh. God, was it annoying.

"Okay, I'm probably already far gone. Or you are just a seriously crazy lady. There is no way you are dead."

Was he calling me a liar?

"I'll have you know I am as dead as it can be. Buried six feet under, white casket and all that jazz." I did like my white casket.

He started shaking his head. "Cut it out, I'm supposed to be the neurotic one."

Before he could move, I went right through his body.

He froze. Slowly, he turned around. His face became even paler than before.

I smirked.

"Told you I was dead."

He stood there, looking at me, mouth wide open.

"But... How? I see you! I know I see you!"

With his finger pointing at me, he couldn't stop fidgeting.

"I know that. I don't have a single clue either. However, you are the first person who's talked to me in months, so I don't want to question it."

"Fair point. Does this mean..."

"There you are!"

I turned around and saw a tall man running towards us. Well, my new friend to be exact.

"We've been worried sick Wooyoung! You can't just leave like that! The nurses are going around the hospital like lunatics. Your mom is in shambles. And you're barefoot, again! Are you insane?"

The boy, Wooyoung, put his hands up in defence.

"Okay, okay. Calm down Mingi. I know it all too well."

Tall man, Mingi, ran straight through me and grabbed Wooyoung by his shoulders. Rude much?

"I'm sorry about the yelling. I'm just glad I found you. Come on, we have to go back, it's freezing out here."

Wooyoung nodded and glanced at me.

"We're going to the Seoul Medical Center, the one across from the main shopping mall?"

Mingi furrowed his eyebrows.

"Why are you being so specific? You know where we're going."

By the look in Wooyoung's eyes I knew that information was for me.

I nodded and waved him off.

"I'll come find you later buddy, go now. You've made a mess out of your friends and family."

Mingi ushered him inside his car and I watched them drive away into the night. Wooyoung turned around and watched me as they disappeared along the road.

"Seems like this isn't going to be so boring after all."

.

.

It's been a few days since my encounter with Wooyoung. The only living person who knows of my existence. I've yet to go visit him in the hospital. I have to admit I'm afraid.

Afraid that all of it was just a moment, and if I appear again, I'll be invisible.

It's also fun to keep men on their toes.

It all came to an end when I found myself in front of his hospital room. It's easy to get the information you need when you are invisible.

I looked into the little window and saw him sitting on his bed, a tray of untouched food beside him. He was gazing at the sunset with a small smile on his face. I took one step inside and cleared my throat.

"Well, here I am. You probably can't hear me anymore. So bye now, it was nice meeting you."

I turned on my heel when he interrupted me.

"Wait."

Shoot. Here we go.

"I hear you. I see you. Don't worry, I'm just spaced out at the moment. This new medication is a pain in my ass."

I nodded and slowly moved towards him.

"Hey I get it. We're not in a normal situation anyway. How have you been? Still thinking about jumping from bridges?"

He snorted a laugh.

"You wish. They've been keeping an eye on me since that night. Security had been notified of my escape plans. Now I have guards surrounding my door at night." He turned to look at me.

"You know, I'm jealous of you."

What? Of me?

I pointed to myself. "You're jealous of a dead girl?"

He nodded. "Yep. You get to do what you want without any consequences. Like, really, you can go anywhere you want, see the world, scare people..."

I put my hands up to stop him.

"Okay. Hold on. You think this is fun? I'm literally a ghost. No one can see me, my family put me into the ground, and I'm constantly levitating. You know how lonely I get?"

He was silent so I continued my rant.

"I've been contemplating for days about visiting you. You are the only thing that made me feel human again. You see me. You hear me. You annoy me as well."

Wooyoung chuckled. "I get that a lot."

"You probably deserve it."

"Put yourself in my shoes for a second. I'm living every day thinking it's my last. My friends keep crying, my family's already planned out my funeral. They are asking me about floral arrangements! They want me to be a part of it, even when I'm dead and cold. I just want to go on my own terms, without this whole ordeal."

"My mom put red roses on my casket even when she knew I liked pink ones better."

He shut his mouth and looked at me in confusion.

"What?"

"What I'm trying to say is, those things don't matter. They want you included because they think it's the only way to make you feel more comfortable about the fact that you are dying."

"I get that. I do. But they are suffocating me."

"Too bad for you then. I'd kill to have conversations like these. Wanna know something funny? More like morbid. They couldn't let my parents see me until they put my head back onto my shoulders. A truck came out of nowhere carrying glass plates. And what do you know? One fell, started an avalanche, I was too drunk and carless and here I am!"

I gestured around me as I stood up.

"You have to get that through your head. Not everyone has a support system like you do."

He looked down at his bare feet.

"I'm sorry you died."

"Yeah, me too."

I sat next to him again. I knew he was at a crossroad. Not a single person in the world would like to be in his shoes now. Death is a tricky bastard. I tried putting my hand on his shoulder, but it went right through.

He shivered. "Woah, that felt weird."

"I guess. Sorry, I don't know why I did that." I gazed out the window while he searched my face with his curious eyes.

"You know, for a ghost, you're really pretty."

I scoffed.

"Yeah, thanks."

I couldn't help but wonder if my cheeks would have flared up at the compliment if I was alive. They probably would. He wasn't so bad to look at, but I can't make myself tell him that.

It felt comfortable, sitting next to him in the silence that followed. It was almost... Normal.

Like he was a guy, I was a girl, we were in the moment, that was it.

"You know you never told me your name?" I turned my head towards him and hummed.

"Yeah, I guess. I'm Y/N. Renowned ghost girl."

I put my hand out for him to shake, even though I knew it was impossible. Still, he reached over and our palms were inches away, doing a make believe handshake.

"Nice to meet you Y/N. You already know who I am. Tell me Y/N, how is ghost life treating you?"

"Well it was rough at first, because I didn't have a clue what happened. After a while it becomes... Boring I suppose. I do have fun going around different places, but I never seem to find any..." I trailed off and looked at my hands.

"I never seem to find peace. It's what I want the most."

Wooyoung sighed. "I guess peace is the one thing everybody's looking for."

"You know, I've met some other ghosts, but only briefly. They all moved on from this in between space faster than me. I don't know what I'm doing here. I've made my piece with the fact that I'm dead. I've said my goodbyes. So I don't know why I'm still here."

"Maybe there is something you haven't done? Think about it. There has to be a thing you didn't do, never had the chance, and now you can't settle."

I blinked at him. Then it came.

"I've never been in love." Wooyoung choked.

"What?"

"I've never loved someone. Sure, I liked the guys I've been with, but there was never a person I've fallen in love with. I didn't think that would set me back so much."

"That kind of makes sense."

"If this is what's holding me back I'm going to be here forever."

"And why is that?"

I looked at him and sighed.

"If you haven't noticed already, I'm dead. No one is going to fall in love with a ghost. But, hey, at least I will get to witness flying cars in the future."

Wooyoung chuckled. "I like your sense of humor. Don't worry about being alone though. Once I'm gone, I'll be at your side looking at the flying cars."

"You want to tell me you've never been in love as well?"

"Never, not once. It's difficult to date people when you are bound to your bed most of the time. They can't handle it."

"Well then, my friend, we are going to have a blast."

Our eyes met and I couldn't quite place the feeling in my chest. It kind of tingles? Wooyoung is a handsome boy, even with the obvious signs of his illness showing. He is also quirky, but in a good way.

He cleared his throat.

"My mom's going to be here soon. She always comes in the late afternoon, says it's the calmest time in the hospital. I want you to stay, but I might feel awkward."

I stood up and went to the door.

"No, no. I get it. I've got places to be anyways. Listen, Wooyoung. Try not to make this time miserable for your parents and friends. This is all they have left with you. Be more positive, okay? I'll be by your side in the meantime. It doesn't hurt to have a friend who knows the ropes, if you get what I mean." I smiled as I gestured around myself. He nodded and watched as I disappeared through the wall.

The cavity in my chest was getting a lot tighter lately, and now it seemed like it was going to suffocate me. Jokes on you, I'm already dead.

.

.

Two days later I went to see him again. I wish I didn't.

He was hooked up on various machines, his face even paler than before. And here I thought I was the ghost.

A nurse was checking his vitals before letting out a sigh and walking outside. I was careful to approach his bed, afraid of disturbing the peace in the room. Once I got closer, I could see just how much worse he looked than the last time I was here.

I carefully sat in the bed and cleared my throat.

"Hey there... You look rough buddy." I shook my head. "Sorry, that was rude. What happened in the last couple of days Wooyoung?"

It was difficult to look at him. I couldn't quite place the feeling in my hollow chest, but it wasn't good.

I knew it was a shot in the dark, but I had the sudden urge to hold his hand. I reached over and lightly placed my fingers in his cold hand.

Wait?

Cold?

I furrowed my eyebrows and squeezed his hand.

I could feel him? I could actually feel his skin?

"Oh my... Wooyoung! It's a miracle, look! I can touch you! Hey, buddy, you've got to wake up. I can't be the only one excited about this."

He was as still as a statue.

"Come on Woo. Wake up and look at me."

He still wasn't giving any signs of waking up, but the beeping of his heart monitor became louder. Soon enough the machine started going loud and crazy. Nurses rushed in and I quickly moved away. As soon as I let go, his heartbeat became normal.

We all looked at him in confusion. Was he actually able to feel me in his unconscious state? The nurses went around, double-checking everything. My eyes were focused on his face. I could see his eyelids fluttering.

Soon enough, he slowly opened his eyes and looked directly at me. The nurse shot a light at his pupils, but he tried moving her away without breaking our gaze.

They fussed around some more while I stood waiting patiently. He never moved his eyes from me.

As soon as the door closed, he let out a tired chuckle.

"So, touching me in my sleep? Very naughty of you Y/N."

I wasn't sure if ghosts could blush, but I sure felt a bit warm.

"Hey, it wasn't like that and you know it."

I came closer and sat on the edge of the bed again.

"Wooyoung. You felt it, didn't you?" He nodded.

"I don't know how this is possible Woo."

He smiled. "I like it when you call me that."

He let out a sigh. "I suppose this is a sign. I am about to die, you know? Maybe the spirit forces and gods want me to get used to it."

His ramblings were far fetched, but kind of made sense.

"Well, I mean... I don't know. But, it's nice to finally feel something real." Without hesitation, I placed my hand on his again. He interlaced our fingers and moved his thumb to caress my hand. I felt slight tingles running through my palm. It felt... Nice. Warm, comforting, everything I've missed since my untimely death.

"You're really cold Y/N. I should get used to that."

I laughed. "Yeah, that's one thing you won't be able to escape. But it's okay, you won't notice it. Or you'll get used to it."

He nodded.

"You know, I'm glad I met you Y/N. At least now I know I won't be so alone once I pass. I think about you when you're not here. It makes me happy I suppose. Now, I do have one request from you."

I could hear his voice getting weaker. I knew he was tired, so I nodded for him to continue.

"Will you wait for me? I know you have the whole world to explore, and maybe you want to move on quicker, but please... Wait for me to come. I don't want to be without you."

He squeezed my hand with the little strength he had, his pleasing gaze almost piercing me.

He wanted me? I've never had someone so desperate for me, since I knew I was nothing special. But Wooyoung thought I was, and that should count for something.

I placed my other hand on his cheek. His eyes widened, but he didn't move away. He almost leaned into my touch.

"I'll wait for you Woo. I can't leave my only friend hanging."

His mouth stretched into a wide smile and he grabbed the hand that was on his cheek, caressing it lightly.

"Thank you, Y/N."

I nodded and untangled myself from him before standing up. I went towards the door and turned around to look at him.

"I'll leave you now, but I'll come back. Rest for now buddy, you've had a rough day." He nodded and waved.

"Bye angel, see you soon."

.

.

Life doesn't care if you are happy. It always finds a way to mess with you. Once you get too comfortable, it slaps you so hard you get whiplash. I don't know if people can die from heartbreak, and I'll never find out as I'm already dead. I suppose it could be possible.

I wasn't happy about the fact that Wooyoung was dying. That's absurd. I was happy that we found each other in our darkest moments, finding comfort in one another. I was imagining what life on the other side would be like once he joined me.

I came to the realisation that I've fallen for him in a way. Being inexperienced in love, and then seeing how good it could feel gave me a wave of happiness.

About three days have passed since I've seen him. I promised I would come back once he got a bit more stable, but I was prepared for the worst.

What I wasn't prepared for is seeing him almost jumping around his room in glee. His cheeks were rosy, his feet no longer bare, and his laugh filled out the room. He looked healthy.

There was a pang of anxiety running through me.

The worst part, he didn't even notice me. The room was full of his friends. I remember the talk one from the night on the bridge. Mingi, was it? The others were called Seonghwa and San. I gathered as much sitting in the corner of the room, watching them interact.

He usually gave me a sign if he knew I was there, but now there was nothing.

It brought me joy to see him so happy, but I had an internal conflict. Didn't we agree to be with each other? Was it so impossible for me to be happy, after everything? I knew my happiness would cost Wooyoung his life, but I was desperate at this point. I couldn't help but accept the fact that he was better, and he no longer stood on death's door.

His friends left after a while and we were alone. He sat on his bed and gazed out the window. He sighed, his smile going down.

"Hey Y/N. I don't know if you're here right now. I don't know if I can see you anymore. Wanna hear something funny? The doctors said my test all came back really positive. After the other night when we held hands, I only got better. I think you helped me in a way. You know, I was actually excited to be with you. I... I think I fell in love with you. Maybe you were a fragment of my imagination? My body isn't exactly in its best condition. Who knows... Thank you Y/N. I want you to find peace." He took a deep breath and shook his head.

"No, wait... I know I might sound insane and selfish, but... I don't want you to go. I want you here. I want you to be here. Why is it so hard for us to be happy? We could've been happy! My God Y/N I can't... I miss you..."

Tears slowly made their way down his face. My eyes stung, but I knew I wasn't able to cry. It broke my non-beating heart to see him like this. He was in complete shambles over me, a ghost. Someone who isn't real anymore.

I slowly approached his side and sat next to him. I made sure we didn't accidentally touch.

"Hey Woo... It's okay buddy. We knew it was impossible from the start. Everything we had was impossible. But it's going to be okay baby. You're going to get even better in time. You'll find a nice, pretty girlfriend. She would have to get used to your sarcasm, but with the amount of charm you possess it won't be difficult. I'm going to miss you, though. You've made me happy these past few weeks. Thank you for that. I might be able to move on finally. I did the thing I've never done before. I fell in love."

I knew he couldn't hear me anymore, but it felt comforting to confess to him.

He was wiping away his tears and smiling. His wanted to place his hand on the bed, but he accidentally put it on my outstretched palm.

Wait.

I quickly moved away and stood up. He shot up as well.

"Y/N? You felt that, didn't you? I knew you were here! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Y/N! Please don't go away, stay with me. Just for a moment longer. Please..."

He crouched down and leaned his back against the wall, sobbing again. It was hard seeing him so distraught.

I sat next to him and slowly leaned my head against his shoulder.

He let out a cry.

"Thank you Y/N... Just for a moment. Be here for just a moment longer."

And so we sat there. The room was quiet, aside from his desperate sobbing. It was as bittersweet as it gets.

He calmed down after some time and I felt his breathing get even. He fell asleep with his head against mine.

I slowly stood up and made him comfortable on the floor. I didn't have the strength to move him to the bed, so this would have to do.

I moved his hair out of his eyes, caressing his cheek and that cute little mole he had. I slowly leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead.

"I wish you all the best Woo. I'll see you, someday. Goodbye."

With that, I disappeared into the night.

.

.

The view from the bridge was the same as that fateful night. The flowing water from bellow was calming my mind though. It brought me a sense of tranquility. It's been a week since I've said my goodbyes to Wooyoung in the hospital. It's been difficult to say the least. I can't stop thinking about him, our late night conversations in his hospital bed, the promises we've made.

I knew it was selfish of me, but I was sad, so I allowed myself to be selfish for a moment.

I couldn't bring myself to visit him anymore. It would be too difficult. I knew he had enough of a support system beside him.

I couldn't help but wonder if he missed me as much as I missed him. I'm a smart girl. I know he will find someone to fill up the space in his heart again. He will have a big family house, Christmas morning in front of the fireplace, with a fluffy dog sitting in the corner.

I want my dream to become his because I know he can make it true. That's all I needed to make peace with the situation.

There was a light ahead of me. Somewhere down the river, shining so bright it could hurt your eyes. I knew what it was as well, but I couldn't bring myself to cross over.

The universe thought I was ready, but I wanted a couple more minutes to take everything in.

"Sitting on the bridge, again? You know if you jump you won't die, so what exactly is the point?"

I froze. Not only am I a ghost, I am an insane ghost.

"What? You won't look at me anymore? I know we had some bumps in the road Y/N, but I thought we had a connection, you know?"

I slowly turned to my left, and there he was.

Standing in all his glory, dressed to perfection, with his eyes no longer tired but mischievous.

"Wooyoung?"

He smiled. "Hey there. Long time no see."

I jumped down and took a couple of steps towards him.

"How in God's name is this happening? Woo? Are you... Dead?"

He nodded.

"Burried six feet under and all that jazz."

My eyes widened.

"But how? You were better! Wooyoung! You didn't do anything stupid, right?"

He put his hands on his hips in a sassy manner.

"Hey, that was one time. Do you have that little faith in me? I died completely naturally, I'll have you know. The doctors told my parents I had a jump before the big fall. That usually happens to patients who are on their deathbed. Had me fooled though, I thought I was going to be miserable for the rest of my life."

In a second his hands were around my waist, squeezing me in a hug.

"But I can't say that I mind now. I knew my time was done, and I've made my peace. What I couldn't make peace with was not seeing you for the rest of my life."

My arms went around his shoulders and you couldn't tell who's grip was tighter.

"Wooyoung, I'm so sorry..."

He took my face into his hands and put our foreheads together.

"Hey now, don't be sad. I told you, I've made my peace. I'm okay. I've said my goodbyes. I've made floral arrangements with my mom. All is well."

I chuckled and nodded.

"So now what?" He smirked.

"Now I kiss the shit out of you."

With that, he crashed his lips onto mine. We didn't know where to hold onto anymore, moving our hands around, feeling every inch of each other. The kiss was desperate, full of unspoken emotions that were begging to be let out.

It's a good thing we don't need to come up for air, because we couldn't stop ourselves.

After what felt like ages, our lips disconnected and our eyes met. He smiled.

"I love you Y/N. I hope you know how much you mean to me."

I smiled as well. "I love you to Woo."

A bright light appeared before us. He looked at me before grabbing my hand.

"I think this is our sign Y/N. Are you ready to spend eternity with me?"

I nodded. We turned towards the light and started walking.

"Thank you Wooyoung. I'm at peace now as well."

[staytheword]

do you like it?

do you like it? — one shot request by anon [ general masterlist ] [ requests ]

18+ !! minors, please do not interact!!

• seungmin x female reader; felix, jisung and jeongin are also featured.

• non idol au. college au. strangers to lovers. just some seungmin smut for mental health. drinking, drugs (weed), college parties, mention of different kinks. explicit language, explicit sexual content. sex positive mc. dom!seungmin. dirty talk, fingering, use of pet names, degrading, unprotected sex (don't do it please), sort of public sex, creampie.

• word count: 4.5k

You desperately need distraction from studying, so you and a friend head to a party. That's where you meet Seungmin, who joins you for a fun game.

• author’s note: Thank you anon for this request, I hope you will enjoy it. Please let me know if you liked it if you can!! I had a lot of fun writing it! What a great way to unwind haha. Thank you everyone for your support as always ♡ I know this is a little different from what I usually write, but it's my way of not overthinking things, of challenging myself, and to just have fun writing and sharing things with you. Please be kind haha I'm very scared :') ♡

You are bored. 

You close your phone, rubbing your eyes. It’s not like you have nothing to do - there are dozens of things you could and probably should be doing, but you can’t bring yourself to. Studying. Cleaning. Answering messages. But everything feels empty, everything feels flat. 

You need a distraction. A real one. Something to disconnect your brain, to collide with the universe, to explode into sparks. 

Chae-won is lazily tapping something on her computer. You stand up from your chair and take the few steps it takes to reach her desk, leaning on it, gesturing to her to remove her headphones. She looks at you, her short black hair in slight disarray, the dark circles under her eyes betraying the fact that she hasn’t been sleeping very well lately. 

“Hm?” she asks in a low tone. 

“Save the document,” you tell her.

She frowns slightly but indulges, and once she has clicked the option, you slam her laptop screen closed. 

“What are you doing?” she cries out, although she doesn’t seem bothered.

“Enough of this shit, Chae,” you exclaim, circling the desk to sit on her bed. “We’ve been doing nothing for too long. Our brains are puddles. We are barely human beings anymore. This can’t go on.” 

“But I have this essay…” 

“The deadline is still days away,” you interrupt her, shaking your head. “You need some air. Isn’t that what people say? Perspective is good or something like that?” 

Chae-won sighs, falling back into her chair. “I guess they do say that.” 

“We need to get out of this room before we turn into our desk chairs. I’m crawling up the damn walls. Let’s do something.” 

Your friend rubs her eyes, a slight pout on her lips. “Like what?” 

“Anything,” you retort. “See a movie. Take a walk. Get ice cream.” 

You both look at each other and sigh. It’s not that you don’t want to do those things - but they will not scratch your itch, that much you know. You stand up and start to pace around the room both of you share. It’s not very big, and the colors are painted a very odd beige color, but you and Chae-won still managed to make it your own. String lights, movie posters, plants - you’ve made sure to use every inch square possible and maximize the space. 

After a second or two, you snap your fingers and smile triumphantly.

“I know. Let’s go to a party.” 

Her face lights up. “A party? Hm. Yeah, that… That sounds nice. It’s been a while.” 

You grin, standing up, taking your friend’s hands to lift her up on her feet. She twirls, letting out a little giggle. 

“We can get drunk. We can get high.” 

“Even better,” she tells you, raising an index. “We can get laid.” 

Both of you break into your best evil laughs, and you already feel revitalized. 

“Let’s fucking do it!” you roar. “Now we just need to find a party. It’s a Tuesday, though…” 

“We’re in college, Y/N,” she tells you. “There’s always a party going on somewhere.”

Chae-won puts on some music and both of you sit down on your bed, pulling out your phones to go on the hunt for a party. You feel your heart beat faster in your chest, excited about the turn your day is taking. At the start of the semester, the both of you had been attending every possible party, but it’s been a few weeks since you even thought about going to one. You and Chae-won were the same - you took your studies seriously, but you also adored completely losing it at parties. You called it balance. 

You check social media while Chae-won messages a few friends from her classes, but you don’t see much. It’s still early, too, so you guess that even if parties were taking place tonight they wouldn’t have started yet. 

“They’re having a party at the Kapa Delta,” Chae tells you, showing you a Facebook event. 

You scrunch your nose. “I can’t fucking stand them, though. And the guys that go there are gross.” 

“That’s just because you don’t like jocks.” 

“That is not true,” you reply, shooting your friend a dark glare. “I like Changbin a lot, he’s a jock.” 

“He’s not a jock, he’s a gym obsessed music geek.” 

“Whatever,” you mumble. “I should text him. I miss him. He graduated way too fast.” 

“Yes, Y/N, I know,” Chae laughs. “Best fuck you’ve ever had and all.” 

You giggle to yourself, scrolling through stories, when you stumble upon an interesting one. It was posted by Felix, a guy you met a few weeks ago, and shows the picture of a brownie with confetti emojis. You show the screen to Chae-won with a grin.

“That looks like a party to me,” you tell her, and you both smile. 

You immediately reply to Felix’s story. 

you can we come over?? 

His answer comes quickly. 

felix who dis

LOL JUST KIDDING OFC

He adds about four lines of texts’ worth of emojis, so you guess it’s positive. You and Chae-won giggle in front of your phone. 

you drop the address!!!!!!

Once Felix has given you the information, you and Chae-won start to get ready. It takes a few tries to get the perfect but comfortable outfits. You each take two shots from the bottle of tequila you keep in your desk, do each other’s makeup and finish hyping yourself with some dance therapy. After, you slip on your shoes and text Felix you’re on your way.

The dorm is already filled with people when you arrive, the party well on its way. It’s the typical college party you are used too, with loud music, the smell of beer, people making out here and there, guys with no shirts screaming nonsense. You and Chae-won make your way through the crowd until you find Felix, who looks already completely high, sitting on the floor of the corridor next to his friend Jeongin.

“Oh, Y/N!” he grins, waving at you. “You made it.” 

“Like half the college population, yeah,” you giggle. You wouldn’t say you’re drunk, but you’re definitely tipsy from the shots you and Chae-won took. “Why the fuck are there so many people here?” 

“Jisung hacked the college email and sent the invite to everyone,” Jeongin says, and you all burst out laughing.

“No way, that’s kinda genius,” Chae-won comments. 

“Genius? I’ll take it,” says a voice. 

It’s Jisung, who has appeared next to your roommate, putting his arm on her shoulder with a seductive smile. 

“Why do I not know your name, beautiful?” 

Chae-won scoffs a little. “Because you’ve forgotten it. We met like four times before.” 

You, Felix, and Jeongin cackle at Jisung’s slightly defeated face. “I have?” 

“No,” Chae-won laughs. “I’m just messing with you.” 

“Come on, that’s not -”

“Ji, leave them alone,” Felix says, shaking his head. He stands up on clumsy legs and waves at you to follow him. “Let’s get you some brownie, yeah?” 

You all head towards the dorm kitchen and Felix draws a half eaten brownie from the fridge. You and Chae-won each eat a square, sharing drinks with everyone. You talk with Jeongin a lot because you discover a shared love for a band, feeling the small amount of weed and the booze do their magic. Before you know it, you’re giggling for no good reason. You stand up to follow the others out of the kitchen, laughing with Chae-won about Jisung’s cheesy pick-up lines. You’ve just gone through the door and heading left when you crash against someone. 

“Oh, shit, sorry,” you laugh, looking up. 

You do not know him. Dark brown hair, wide smile, square jawline, deep brown eyes. He looks sweet, but has a strength about him that you instantly like. An energy, a certainty. 

“You alright there?” he asks you, giving you a smile. When you don’t answer, feeling slightly awestruck, he laughs. “Lix, what kind of weed did you put in your brownie this time?” 

“The normal kind?!” Felix answers, arching an eyebrow. “Guys, this is Seungmin. He goes to West U.” 

“Oh,” you say, finally able to give him back his smile.

That must be why you’ve never seen him before. He gives you a last smirk, turning away to follow all of you to another room. He throws his arm around Felix’s shoulder affectionately and you sharply turn to Chae-won.

“Holy fuck, he’s so hot!” you cry out. 

You didn’t see Jisung right next to her, who grins. “Y/N HAS A CRUSH ON -” 

Chae-won slams her hand across his mouth, chuckling. “He’s so your type, Y/N. We’ll be your wingpeople, won’t we, Jisung? Quietly and subtly?” 

Jisung nods, and Chae-won removes her hand. 

“What she said,” he nods solemnly. 

You shake your head, laughing, and all of you make it in a dorm room where there aren’t too many people. You sit down on a couch, Chae-won making sure Seungmin is next to you. You give him a smile as you cross your legs. He smells good, a perfectly balanced cologne that almost makes you dizzy. 

“So, Seungmin…” you say, tasting his name on your lips. “Are you single?” 

He chuckles, taking a long sip from his red cup. “That’s the first thing you want to know about me, huh?” 

“Just wondering how much I can flirt with you,” you grin. 

“You can flirt with me as much as you like, cutie. I’m not really a relationship type of guy.” 

You arch an eyebrow, unable to hold back your satisfied smile. “Most guys in college aren’t.” 

Seungmin laughs. “Good point. But I’m not saying that just because I want to get laid. I have commitment issues.”

His honesty takes you by surprise and you stammer, the light in Seungmin’s eyes almost making you blush. 

“Is that why you attend parties in other colleges?” you ask once you recover. “So you can hook up and not have the chance to see the person on campus again?” 

“You see right through me.” 

His sense of humor keeps catching you off guard, but you appreciate it. You don’t feel like you’re just flirting, but like you’re having an actual conversation - and you are so absorbed that you almost forget the party around you, the people screaming, the smell of booze and sweat. It is only when the person next to you spills his drink on the couch and almost all over you that Seungmin takes your hand, drawing you away, and you lean against the wall not too far, next to each other, so you can keep talking. Seungmin stands close to you, sometimes whispering in your ear so you can hear each other better. 

After a while, you stare at your empty cup. “Fuck, that’s been empty for a while.” 

“You want a refill?” Seungmin suggests. 

“I’m fine. I came here tonight for distraction, and it was either getting really drunk or hooking up, so…” 

“You chose the second option,” he finishes for you, smirking. “Is that right?” 

You bite your lip, staring up at him, the curve of his lips, the shape of his shoulders underneath his black shirt, the silver chain around his neck. He’s just doing something for you, and you know it, and he knows it. Instant connection, you think is what people call it. 

“I’m really considering it,” you tell him in a breath. 

He leans in slightly, cupping your cheek. His hand is warm, big, and you want it to touch you everywhere. 

“Why don’t I help you make your choice?” he suggests. 

You nod, and he pushes his lips against yours. The kiss is eager but not too insistent, and you quickly fall into it. His hand falls on your waist and he pulls your body slightly closer to his. You moan in his mouth as he starts to play with your tongue. Your mind is reeling, your thoughts a complete mess, when he leans back. 

“So, what do you think?” he breathes in your ear, keeping his voice low. 

“I think…” you sigh. “I think we need to find a place that is more private so we can do some more of that.” 

Seungmin laughs and takes your hand to lead you away, but then Jeongin appears next to you, a large smile on his face. 

“There you are!” he cries out, grabbing Seungmin’s sleeve. “Come on, we’re playing  a game!” 

There is clearly no chance of arguing with him, so you exchange an amused look with Seungmin and shrug. This can wait, you think to yourself, and you both follow Jeongin back to your friend group. You all sit in a circle as Jeongin explains you are going to play a round of Do you like it. You arch an eyebrow as he takes out the cards and displays them. 

“I don’t know the game,” you say to Seungmin. “What’s it about?” 

“Sex,” he answers simply. 

Your eyes grow a little wide, and he keeps his eyes on you. A smirk appears on your lips, amused. 

“Oh,” you answer. “Interesting.” 

You all form teams of two, the other being your opponent. Chae-won pairs with Jisung, Felix with Jeongin, so you end up with Seungmin. The game is simple. One of the teammates is given a word or phrase related to sex, and the teammate has to guess how the other would rate it out of ten. 

Felix seems to know Jeongin almost too well, guessing right his love for threesomes and his aversion for eating food off bodies. Jisung surprises no one with his love for porn but admits he’s not much for step sister fantasies. After the others’ turns you are tearing up from laughing too much, holding your sides. 

“Your turn, Y/N,” Felix tells you. “You have to guess Seungmin’s.” 

You shake your hands, turn to face your teammate. “Hit me.” 

Seungmin chuckles and draws a card from the pile. “Ok. First is… blowjobs.” 

You squint your eyes at him, trying to figure out his reaction. He is unreadable, however. You pout. 

“I’ll say 9 out of 10.” 

“Close,” he replies. “8.” 

He gives a little shrug. 

“I’m more a giver than a receiver.” 

You can’t hold back a slightly nervous, slightly amused giggle. Can’t wait to find out, you almost tell him. 

You can’t help it - the game is turning you on slowly but surely. You still feel Seungmin’s lips on yours as you find out about his kinks. Maybe it’s his direct gaze on you as you speak about sex and orgasms, or the way his hand brushes your thigh as he leans to take a card, or his voice, steady and low, telling you how much he likes the doggystyle position. Whatever it is, it’s working, and your heart is beating hard and fast in your chest. Then it’s your turn, in which he discovers you’d love to try out bondage and you love using toys during sex. 

“Take some notes, Seungmin,” Jisung chuckles. 

He does not answer anything, but you enjoy the look on his face a little too much. This almost feels like very long foreplay.  

“Last but not least,” Seungmin says, staring at you. 

You draw a card and blush a little. “Dirty talk.” 

“I’ll say 6.” 

“Wrong,” you retort, lifting your chin proudly. Better he knows. “That is definitely a 10.” 

Your group of friends erupts into laughter and whistles, and Seungmin shoots you a surprised look. 

“A 10, huh? Good to know.” 

He stares at you with such intent you feel your walls tighten. It’s like you can see through his eyes that he’s thinking about it, and you wonder if he’s as turned on as you are. 

The game ends when someone suddenly turns up the music at the sound of a classic party song, and you all stand up to start dancing. You and Chae-won dance together for a while before you feel someone’s hand on your waist, sweeping you away. You twirl on your feet, your eyes falling in Seungmin’s. 

He starts to dance with you, his eyes fixated on you, your bodies close to one another. He completely takes your breath away. You sway your hips, smiling up at him. 

You like him perhaps a little too much, you tell yourself, but you do not hide it. Why would you? From the way he looks and smiles at you, you’d say it’s pretty much mutual. You hope something more can happen. You want to find a way to get him alone with you, or at least to find a corner where you can make out again, when Felix decides you will all be playing seven minutes in heaven. 

“Lix, we’re not 12 anymore,” Jeongin sighs. 

“Exactly,” Felix points out with a cheeky smile. “Imagine what can happen inside seven minutes…” 

You all complain but you still end up playing. The first to go in are Jisung and Jeongin, and they come back in the middle of a heated debate about video games. Meanwhile, you and Seungmin keep talking, and he actually leaves a hand on your thigh. You stare down at it sometimes, loving the sight of his long fingers sprawled on your skin. You imagine them being somewhere else, feeling your panties getting drenched. Seugnmin feels it, you are sure of it, because he gives you a smirk. Then, Jisung gets chosen again, but with Chae-won this time - and from the blush on your friend’s cheek, you are pretty sure something happened in that closet, although you couldn’t tell what. You’ll have to ask her later. 

“I have an idea,” Chae-won says. “Why not do it with the teammates from earlier? Me and Jisung went, so why not Seungmin and Y/N this time?” 

You shoot your friend a glare. Not very subtle, you mouth, and she shrugs. 

“Sounds good,” Seungmin simply states, taking your hand and guiding you towards the closet. 

You follow him inside, your heart beating fast in your chest. Is this really happening? 

The closet door closes, and you look up at Seungmin. 

You are pretty much the same height, so there is no escaping his direct gaze. You swallow as he smirks, your mouth feeling dry. 

“We don’t have a lot of time,” he says in a low voice. 

It’s not silent, because you can still perfectly hear the sound of the conversation and music just on the other side of the door, but it’s muffled enough for you to hear him perfectly. 

“Let’s not waste a second, yeah?” 

You part your lips to speak but Seungmin gently pushes you against the wall of the closet, pinning one of your hands next to your shoulder, his mouth leaning into the crook of your neck. You let out a soft whimper, unable to stop yourself from clenching around nothing. 

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he whispers, his breath tickling your skin. His other hand slithers around your waist, resting on the small of your back. “But if you let me, I have a good idea of what I want to do with my seven minutes....” 

You breathe out, arching your back slightly. “Do whatever you want.” 

Seungmin chuckles. “That’s what I thought.” 

He tilts his head to look back into your eyes, licking his lips slowly. His pelvis is barely brushing yours, but you can feel his erection building, pushing against your leg. 

“Dirty talk, huh? If that’s what you like, I can give it to you,” he growls, kissing your jawline. “You want me to tell you what a fucking slut you are? You like it filthy?” 

You open your lips to answer but Seungmin’s teeth tease your earlobe, and your words come out as pathetic moans. “F-fuck, S-Seungmin…” 

“Seven minutes is not nearly enough, but it’ll have to do for now. Fuck, I’m so glad I came to this party.” 

His large hand slides around your leg, pushing your thighs apart, and you wrap your arm around his neck for support. You already know you are soaked - you have been for the past hour, ever since the game, and even before that. There’s just something about Seungmin that makes your legs go weak, a hunger in his eyes, a mischievousness in his smile. You want him to ruin you, you want him to whisper the nastiest things in your ear, and he looks just about to do that, so you can barely bring yourself to breathe. 

Seungmin pushes two of his fingers against your pussy, above the fabric of your panties. You let out a choked moan, your body jolting.  

“Fuck, those panties are drenched,” he chuckles in your ear. “How about I finger you in the closet like the dirty little whore you are, hm? Would you like that?”

You nod. “Yes,” you breathe. 

Seungmin breathes hard, and pushes your panties down. They fall at your feet and you spread your legs a little more to give him some space. 

“That’s right,” he groans. “Open that pussy for me. Fuck, that’s hot. You’re so fucking wet.” 

Seungmin’s long fingers draw circles on your folds, and he squeezes your clit in between them, drawing a louder moan from your lips. You do not care if people can hear you, they probably already know what you are up to. 

You roll your hips against Seungmin’s caresses, breathing hard in his neck, your legs already weak. He holds you up against him, however, his hard cock pressed against you. Each time you roll your hips, causing friction against his bulge, you hear him hiss in both annoyance and delight. You wish he would fuck you right there, but his fingers feel like heaven, and you don’t him to stop.

“P-push them inside, Seungmin,” you plead. “P-please.” 

“Pretty girl wants to fuck herself on my fingers, huh? Let me see how good your hole feels. I bet you’re so warm and tight…” 

He slowly inserts two fingers inside of you, and you shudder against him. 

“Fuck, yes…” 

“God, fuck, I was right,” Seungmin breathes as he does not waste any time starting to fuck your cunt with his fingers. His movements are sharp and deep, curving inside of you to reach even further, and your eyes roll to the back of your head. 

“Fuck, Seungmin!” You cry out, digging your fingers into the back of his neck. 

It’s like he instantly knows exactly how to pleasure you, his speed, his angle, his rhythm. You can’t focus on anything else than how he sinks his fingers into your pussy, and you can only hear him breathe, the squelching sounds of him fingering you relentlessly filling the closet. Your cunt clenches  as he inserts another finger, stretching your hole. You are shaking, his passion consuming you whole, your orgasm on the tip of his fingers. 

Seungmin keeps whispering filth in your ears, his whispers getting more and more disordered. That’s my little slut, you fucking take it, such a tight cunt, my fingers are fucking you so deep, am I going to make you cum like a whore? 

“S-seungmin,” you whimper as you are about to come. 

He growls, and it’s so animalistic it feels unreal. Suddenly his fingers disappear from your cunt and you gasp at the sudden absence, opening your eyes in a panic, but Seungmin is only unbuttoning his jeans. You see his bulge, big and pushing against the fabric, and you hurry to help him take his cock out. It’s rock hard but you don’t have time to look at it, because Seungmin guides it under your cunt.

“I don’t have -”

“I don’t care,” you whisper. 

He pushes his cock deep inside you, bottoming out instantly. It doesn’t hurt because you were soaked and already stretched by his fingers - it just feels both overwhelming and magnificent. You cry out his name as he buries himself inside of you, his hips immediately thrusting hard, fucking you against the wall almost desperately. 

“F-fuck,” he grunts. “So fucking tight… around my cock… I was meant to fuck that cunt, fuck.” 

You have no words - you only hold onto him tighter, feeling full and fucked out already. Seungmin pounds into you, his cock throbbing against your walls. 

“I’m gonna - Seungmin, fuck!” 

“Taking my cock so well,” he whispers in your ear, his voice trembling. “So fucking well, like the slut you are. Getting fucked in a closet with all your friends to hear it. You’re not going to walk straight after this, are you?” 

“Don’t fucking stop,” you whimper, your head dizzy. 

Your orgasm feels like a flash of lightning, blindening you to everything else, your cunt throbbing and fluttering around him. Your legs are shaking but Seungmin holds you up and keeps whispering in your ear, drawing out your orgasm, your cum making the fuck even more messy as you drip around his cock. 

“Fuck, yes. Keep clenching like this around my cock.” 

You’re not sure how you’re still standing, because Seungmin has not slowed down whatsoever, and you are holding on to him because you might fall if you don’t. He moans in your ear, his body pressed hard against yours. You can feel he is close too, his cock pulsating in your cunt.

“Are you going to take my cum inside of you, huh? Are you a good little cumslut? Gonna let me fill up that tight little hole?” 

You nod. “Give it to me.” 

He sinks into you, a growl escaping his lips, and comes. His cock spurts out his warm cum inside of you, and you moan at the feeling. He’s filling you up, your hole sensitive and deliciously aching. 

“Fuck,” Seungmin sighs, staying inside of you for a second, his forehead resting on the wall beside your head. 

Your fingers come to stroke his hair, which is a little sweaty, and you stay silent for a few seconds. You are completely fucked out, your legs wobbly, and you have no idea how you’ll be able to even leave this closet. How long has it been? Feels like seconds, like hours. Has it been seven minutes? More, less? 

Seungmin places a kiss on your neck, and you shiver. 

“You’re going to keep my cum inside of you, won’t you?” he breathes, and you can only nod. “Good girl.” 

He removes his cock, his fingers immediately sweeping the overflowing liquids to push them back into you. You squirm at the touch, sensitive, but Seungmin does not stop. He guides your panties back between your legs, and replaces your skirt. 

Just then, you hear a knock on the door. You recognize Felix’s voice.

“Guys, we’ve given you some more time because you were clearly busy, but… Hurry the fuck up, will you?!” 

You giggle. “Just a sec!” 

Seungmin takes a step back, a satisfied smirk on his lips, and you watch him put his cock back in his jeans, mouth parted, breathless. 

“Dirty talk, check,” he smiles, looking up at you. “Next time, should we try sex toys or bondage?” 

You chuckle, shaking your head. “We did one of mine, so next time, let’s do one of yours.” 

Seungmin’s eyes light up. “Are you sure you’re up for it, cutie?” 

You just smile, putting a hand on the door handle. “Fuck yes, I am.”

(note about taglists) I don't want to tag anyone on this because this is different and tagging gets me a little anxious, but if you do want to be tagged on requests like these, let me know ♡ Lots of love!

[perspectivestarters]

Perspective's Sentence Starters; Preacher's Daughter by Ethel Cain (Part II)

TRIGGER WARNING: Violence, abuse, religious themes, ect.

THOROUGHFARE

You knew you had to see it all.

You had to get out and go chasin' its sweet call.

Don't run, I'll take you anywhere.

Hey, do you wanna see thе west with me?

Lovе's out there and I can't leave it be.

Love's never meant much to me.

I'll come with you if you're sure it's what you need.

Every small town diner saw our faces at least once or twice.

I started to see you differently.

For the first time since I was a child, I could see a man who wasn't angry.

It's been a long damn time since I left.

Now that I met you, I finally know just where I'm headin'.

You got lost in it and yet you found yourself. We finally reached the edge after all this time.

I didn't find my love, but I still made it this far without it.

Maybe not, 'cause look at what I've got.

You might not be my love, but, baby, I doubt it.

In your pickup truck with all of your dumb luck is the only place I think I'd ever wanna be.

GIBSON GIRL

You wanna love me right now.

You wanna get alone with me.

You wanna get my clothes off.

You came alone to me from however far away.

You're all the same.

He's cold-blooded so it takes more time to bleed.

Obsession with the money, addicted to the drugs.

Says he's in love with my body, that's why he's fucking it up.

I can be immoral in a stranger's lap.

Something they all want that only you can have.

You wanna fuck me right now.

You wanna see me on my knees.

You wanna rip these clothes off.

If you hate me, please don't tell me.

I would show you something you can never have.

PTOLEMAEA

I followed you in.

I was with you there.

You love blood too much.

You’d do wеll to say yes to me.

Suffering is nigh.

Even the iron still fears the rot.

Hiding from something I cannot stop.

I can't lead him back.

You poor thing.

There's nothing you can do.

It's already been done.

Show me your face.

Please don't look at me.

I can see it in your eyes.

Tell me, what have you done?

Make it stop, I've had enough.

I am the face of love's rage.

I am no good nor evil, simply I am.

I am here now as you run from me still.

You can't hide from me forever.

SUN BLEACHED FLIES

They talk all about that money and how their babies are always changing while they're breathing in the poison of the paint.

God loves you, but not enough to save you.

Good luck taking care of yourself.

That's how my daddy raised me.

If they strike once then you just hit 'em twice as hard.

In the end, if I bend under the weight that they gave me, then this heart would break and fall as twice as far.

We all know how it goes.

The more it hurts, the less it shows.

I still feel like they all know, and that's why I can never go back home.

I spend my life watching it go by from the sidelines.

God, I've tried, but I think it's about time I put up a fight.

I always knew that in the end no one was coming to save me.

I just prayed and I keep praying.

If it's meant to be then it will be.

I met him there and told him I believe.

I forgive it all as it comes back to me.

I can't let go when something's broken.

It's all I know and it's all I want now.

STRANGERS

Don't talk to strangers or you might fall in love.

You devour like smoked bovine hide.

I never considered myself tough.

You're so handsome, walking over to me.

I tried to be good.

Am I no good?

My memory restricted to a Polaroid in evidence.

I just wanted to be yours.

Can I be yours?

Just tell me I'm yours.

We'll make love in your attic all night.

Euphoric in some strange delight.

I'm happier here 'cause he told me I should be.

You're so handsome when I'm all over your mouth.

Am I making you feel sick?

Found you just to tell you that I made it real far.

I never blamed you for loving me the way that you did.

While you were torn apart, I would still wait with you there.

Don't think about it too hard, or you'll never sleep a wink at night again.

Just know that I love you.

I'll see you when you get here.

[misc-obeyme]

Bittersweet

I had to write a story about Barbatos in Nightbringer. I love him so much I couldn't possibly stop myself. This is written from MC’s perspective so we still don’t know how much Barb does or does not know about MC’s time travel situation.

MC had an established relationship with Barbatos in the present day, so when they travel back in time and he doesn't know them, they have a hard time with it. Obviously I'm very interested in this particular aspect of Nightbringer. There shouldn't be any spoilers, though.

GN!MC x Barbatos

Warnings: just some angst as described above

The first time you saw Barbatos after arriving in the past, your chest constricted. It was painful to know that you were only a stranger to him now. It occurred to you that he knew more than he let on, but you weren't about to ask him and risk causing a time paradox. So you had to continue acting as though you didn't know him, that you didn't already love him, that you hadn't already spent the best moments of your life in his arms.

You did your best. Most of the time, you were busy keeping track of the brothers and working as their attendant. Your thoughts were mostly occupied by the need to reforge your pacts so that you could return to your own time. So that you could return to the time when he did know you.

You couldn't help yourself, though. You had this need to be near him. So you found yourself sneaking around the Demon Lord's Castle whenever you had a spare moment. You usually only caught a glimpse of him from a distance. It was never enough, but it helped if only a little.

You had been curious about what Barbatos was like here in the past, but so far he seemed almost exactly the same - reserved and completely loyal to Lord Diavolo. Aside from not knowing you, the only other difference was the problem he seemed to have with Solomon.

You had no idea how he felt about you now and most likely you would never know. It wasn't like you could just go ask him. He might not have any opinion at all and maybe he actively disliked you considering you were Solomon's apprentice.

None of this mattered. You just wanted to see him. To be in his proximity. Even if you knew that skulking around the castle made you seem extremely creepy.

You just didn't have a real reason to be at the castle and you didn't feel like you could just drop in to say hi. It wasn't like that anymore… or it wasn't like that yet? You shoved those thoughts aside. Thinking about time travel too much gave you a headache.

So there you were one evening on the castle grounds, trying to hide behind some rose bushes, when you heard a devastating screech right at your feet.

You jumped, nearly falling over.

Little D No 2 was wriggling on the ground. "Ooooww! You stepped on me!"

You reached toward him. "Oh I'm sorry, little guy, I didn't know you were there! Are you okay?"

Little D No 2 managed to straighten himself out. "Maybe watch where you're stepping next time, huh? What are you doing out here in the bushes, anyway? You're acting real suspicious!"

You grimaced. "I know. I'm sorry. I'll leave."

You turned to go, but Little D No 2 tugged on your ankle. "Hey, it's okay! Don't look so sad. Maybe I can help? Are you in trouble or something? Are you hiding?"

"N-no," you said. "I'm not in trouble. Don't worry about it, I'll just leave."

"Now I'm even more suspicious," Little D No 2 said. "I better go get Mr. Barbatos!"

"NO!" you cried out, grabbing him. "No, don't do that, please!"

Little D No 2 kicked his legs in irritation as you were holding him a little bit above the ground now. "Hey! Put me down! You just keep acting weirder and weirder!"

"Listen, I was just passing through, okay?" you said. "I'll just go on home now, so you don't need to go get anyone. I promise I'm not doing anything bad!"

"If that's true, why not just tell me what you're doing then?" Little D No 2 said. "Nobody crouches in bushes if they're just passing through!"

You had to admit that he had a point. You sighed. "I just… wanted to see Barbatos, that's all." You felt the heat rushing into your cheeks.

Little D No 2 stopped kicking his feet. "Huh? But you just said you didn't want me to get Mr. Barbatos. And if you wanted to see him, why didn't you just come in and ask for him? Why creep around the garden?"

"It's complicated," you said.

Little D No 2 opened his mouth, about to say something, but then he looked over your shoulder and started squirming again. "Mr. Barbatos! Help!"

You straightened up and spun around to see Barbatos standing nonchalantly behind you. You dropped Little D No 2 in your surprise.

He yelled, "Oof!" as he hit the ground, then scampered over to hide behind Barbatos.

"Oh um, sorry, I was just leaving," you said quickly, looking around for the best escape route.

Barbatos smiled, but it was not at all reassuring. "Good evening, MC. May I inquire into why you are manhandling Little D No 2 out here in the bushes?"

Oh boy. You might not have been in trouble before, but you certainly were now. You clasped your hands together. "Um… well, it's just…"

"They wanted to see you, Mr. Barbatos!" Little D No 2 piped up helpfully. "But they were being really weird about it!"

Barbatos looked surprised. "Oya. If you wanted to see me, why not come inside the castle?"

"That's what I said!" Little D No said.

"Um," you said, not willing to explain further.

"What is it you need of me?" Barbatos asked.

You couldn't look at him. "That's just it. I don't actually need anything."

There was a long silence. You could feel Barbatos observing you, thoughtful.

Little D No 2 jumped up and down a little. "What! Just when I thought you couldn't get weirder!"

"Little D No 2, please go back inside the castle," Barbatos said.

Little D No 2 saluted as best he could with his little arms. "Yes, sir!"

As he scuttled away, Barbatos continued to look at you with a piercing gaze. "I would like you to explain yourself, please."

What could you say? You couldn't tell him the truth. And this was Barbatos. He would likely be able to tell if you lied to him. Certainly that's already what he was expecting of you. Barbatos was a master at not revealing his thoughts, but you were sure he found you especially suspicious right now.

You frowned, eyes still on the ground, and settled for telling as much of the truth as you could. Even if it made you sound crazy. "I'm sorry," you began. "I wanted to see you because I just… wanted to see you. And I thought it would be a really strange thing for me to show up here saying I just wanted to be with you. I mean, we're basically strangers. But there's just something about you… I…"

You trailed off, unable to say anything more as you felt yourself creeping too close to the truth. You could also feel the burn of your cheeks. You looked up and you knew Barbatos could see your blush even though it was dark out.

Barbatos regarded you quietly for a few agonizing minutes. Then he smiled again. And this time, you felt your heart flutter as you recognized his genuine smile. It was the one you had seen so many times before - equal parts fondness and indulgence.

Having seemingly decided that your garden activities were mostly harmless, Barbatos extended a gloved hand to you. "I see," he said. "In that case, why not join me for a cup of tea?"

Your eyes widened. "Really? You don't mind?"

Barbatos chuckled. "I would not have offered if I did."

You tried not to let the happiness brimming inside you show on your face. You schooled your expression as best you could and took his hand. "I would love to have tea with you."

Barbatos led you into the castle and to a small table set up beside a window overlooking the garden. He let go of your hand and pulled out a chair for you.

The tea was already made. In fact, it looked as though Barbatos had been sitting here drinking it when he noticed you and Little D No 2 out in the bushes. If you had been undisturbed, you probably would have seen him through the window, which was really all you had hoped for. Now you were inside with him and you silently thanked Little D No 2 for getting stepped on.

Barbatos left you for a moment and then returned with a second tea cup. He poured some for you and handed it over.

"You were having tea by yourself?" you asked, taking a sip.

"The Young Master is working, as he should be," Barbatos said. "And I had a moment to take a short break."

"You always seem to be busy," you said. "You don't take breaks like this very often, do you?"

You already knew the answer to this, but you had to make it sound like you didn't know Barbatos as well as you did. You wondered again if Barbatos was actually fully aware that you were from the future. If anyone in the past did, it would be him. Still it wasn't as though you could ask him. It was just too risky. So you did your best to make it sound like you really had just met him recently.

"There is always more to be done and I would rather be productive than idle," Barbatos said.

Well, there was no doubt that Barbatos was the same in the past as he was in the future. Other than his inexplicable hatred for Solomon, he was the same demon you knew and loved. This made it both easier and harder to be around him.

"You're really okay with me being here?" you asked. "You know, since I'm Solomon's apprentice and all… I know you aren't particularly fond of him."

Barbatos laughed softly. "I don't hold it against you," he said. "You are not responsible for your teacher's actions."

You smiled in relief. Then you started asking him questions about tea and the Devildom just so you could listen to the steady cadence of his voice. You felt yourself lulled into a sense of ease, the same feeling of contentment that caused you to fall in love with him in the first place.

It had already been evening when you were discovered in the bushes and soon it was even later. Barbatos looked at you pointedly. "It's rather late, MC. Certainly you should return to Cocytus Hall before your teacher comes looking for you."

"Oh," you said, looking at the time. "It's later than I thought. Yeah, I guess I should go."

You stood up from the table, which Barbatos had already cleared of the tea things, and made your way back toward the castle entrance.

You paused at the door and Barbatos stood beside you, watching you.

You looked at him, wanting to say so many things, but holding it all inside. Trying to keep those words in your heart made your chest squeeze with pain. If you weren't careful, you would give yourself away. You looked back at the door.

"Thank you, Barbatos," you said, eyes on the ground. "This was really nice and I appreciate you inviting me in after I was being so weird earlier."

Barbatos reached out, put his fingertips beneath your chin, and turned your face so you were looking at him. "You said before that there is something about me, but there is something about you, too. I will be honest, MC. I am interested in learning more about you, even if you are apprenticed to that disgrace of a sorcerer."

You were too overwhelmed by Barbatos's close proximity to laugh at the way he casually insulted Solomon. "Oh, then maybe we can have tea together again?" you suggested.

Barbatos smiled, letting his hand fall away from your face. "I would enjoy that immensely." He opened the door for you.

You stepped outside then looked back at him. He was still smiling, that genuine smile that gave you butterflies. "Good night, MC," he said.

"Good night, Barbatos," you said. You turned away as the door closed, walking fast through the Devildom night toward Cocytus Hall. Your heart was racing. It didn't matter when you encountered him, you knew Barbatos would always have this effect on you. Even if he didn't know you. Even if you had to keep secrets from him. Even if now this feeling was bittersweet.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[trans-androgyne]

Ok as a trans girl I thought I'd throw out some opinions on egg jokes cause I've seen you post some things from one perspective and I'd like you to hear mine. What I'm gonna say is NOT MEANT TO ACCUSE YOU OF SAYING THIS STUFF !! It is just some observations I've noted from various communities

I've noticed a lot of the backlash surrounding egg jokes has been specifically about the concept of someone being a trans woman being inherently perverse and sexual, as compared to, say, gay jokes. Both of these sorts of jokes come from the same place (ex "I see myself/friends in this person, haha they're just like me/them") but one is much more socially acceptable than the other. If I see a man in a crop top with neon pink booty shorts and say "lol he's so gay" , nobody really cares other than the occasional "you can never assume anything about anyone" person. If I see a guy with long hair awkwardly looking at feminine deodorant and say "lol he's such an egg", that gets a stronger reaction from all sides of the community than the previous situation. There's a lot of people saying things like "let me be feminine" which,I agree! Men should be allowed to be feminine! But if a trans woman sees her pre-transition self in the way a man acts and jokes about it, that isn't something that should be as heavily policed as it is now.

There is a very large stereotype that trans women run 'feminizing cults' that recruit men and manipulate them to start estrogen and such, this is a transmisogynist conspiracy and what a *lot* of backlash from egg jokes leans into. Obviously, if you yourself aren't comfortable being called an egg or anything like that, then by all means tell anyone who tries to make that joke with you. If they're a good person they'll just go "oh, ok, thanks for telling me" and stop joking about that with you. Block the tags, curate your online experience, but I think a lot of people expect trans woman to fully stop making these jokes because of some disgust they feel from it, and attributing that disgust to mean there's some inherent moral stance on egg jokes, which there isn't

Also for context I am a trans girl whose egg was cracked via egg jokes lolll

Thank you for sharing your perspective. I think a lot of discomfort at egg jokes is in fact coming from a place of transmisogyny. I do not care about the vast majority of egg jokes. I think they can sometimes be reinforcing the gender binary, but honestly so can other popular trans jokes. I personally get uncomfortable when people are publicly speculating on the activities and gender of a specific stranger just going about their day because I would hate if that was me. I don’t care if people make those jokes with their friends. But enough people have passed around this deodorant example that if the deodorant person is a cis guy they’d probably feel pretty uncomfortable about it! Same with other cis guys who already feel insecure about expressing femininity for fear people will think they’re less of a man. As a trans guy I already get nervous people will see me pick out feminine deodorant (it just smells better) in the grocery store aisle and misgender me about it. People thinking it would be okay to speculate about me online as a result if they mistook me for a cis guy would be awful to me. I think we should have a genuine conversation about what constitutes violating a stranger’s privacy. But we desperately need to watch the transmisogyny in these conversations because a lot of people’s takes sound suspiciously like “trans women are groomers” rhetoric.

[keruimi]

In a Heartbeat

Pairing: Hirugami Sachiro x reader

Warnings: Angst, Comfort, a few spoilers in his past.

Note: My mind is very jumbled when I wrote this but I hope you all still can understand. This is part 2 of my "The Consequences of my Ignorance" but in Hirugami's Perspective. Hope you enjoy it!

_____________________________

It was late evening during our time in Tokyo for a National Tournament held in March.

The night I went outside to take fresh air, because the pressure of winning started to overwhelm me even though I am not the one playing in the court.

It was the time I realized how truly suffocating volleyball is.

That thought was immediately cut off when my eyes caught a silhouette of a woman sitting at the entryway of the stadium.

I looked around and noticed she was alone, wearing a familiar uniform of Inarizaki Highschool.

The closer I walked to her, I heard the faint sound of kittens that made me finally notice a litter of it around her.

I took one when it approached me and in a second, she looked behind her that connected our gazes at each other.

"Good Evening, do you mind If I join you?" I smiled at her so she nodded that made me sit beside her and finally realized she is feeding a smaller kitten compared to the few I saw.

We sat in silence as I played with the other kittens.

"You're one of Kamomedai's middle blockers" I was about to start a conversation when she suddenly spoke up first.

"Yes, I guess you're one of the Inarizaki supporters. They have a match right now" I informed her while I look down at a kitten that playfully bit my thumb.

"They can handle that"

I looked at her who was gently putting a kitten to sleep while covering it with her jacket.

It was an adorable sight to see.

"You seem to be fond of cats" I decided to change the topic when I realized that talking about volleyball is something she doesn't want to talk about.

And I am glad.

"Yes, so badly that I wanted to study at Nekoma" she took another kitten to feed when the previous one finally fell asleep.

"Then why didn't you?"

I saw a flash of sadness in her eyes as she made a new bottle of milk for the kitten.

"Because I don't want to be lonely"

She chose to look at me as she gave me a light hearted smile.

"Playing volleyball seems nice isn't it? It's a sport where you know you will have someone. You will never get lonely" she said, followed by a sigh.

"Yet I can't fall in love with the sport" she looks ahead of us as I didn't remove my gaze on her side view.

It seems like she has something in mind that she wants to let out.

With a buzzing stadium filled with excitement and happiness. A peaceful air where you can state your worry is something I didn't ask for but my mind badly needed it.

"I don't understand why anyone would put their hearts and mind in a sport that can make you question your worth, make you feel not good enough at all." She stated as I heard the kitten she is taking care of, purr in content as she continues caressing the little animal.

"With thought in mind, I wonder if everyone who plays volleyball really loves it or just plays the sport because that's where they are talented. That's where they are gifted." She continued speaking her thoughts out that made me lift a small smile.

With just one encounter, she expressed herself to a complete stranger.

"Why did Hirugami start playing volleyball? Is it because you need to be like your family? Or is it because you really love the sport like they do? Is it for self-validation or passion? Those are the thoughts that I heard from other people" I chuckled when I heard her talk about my life.

Questions where I already have my answers. The view of others is not technically wrong.

I played volleyball because that's where my family is good at, because I was gifted with the talent that I can use in the sport.

It was to prove to myself that I am worthy to be part of that successful family. A talent that can prove I am indeed a Hirugami.

Yet those questions reminded me of how cruel I was with myself before.

It was me who pressured myself back then.

"I don't love volleyball. With that sentence, I'm sure those three questions are already answered" I saw how her hands stop caressing the kitten who seems to be dozing off already.

"Do you hate volleyball?"

"Not really. But I don't love it like those said prodigies" I told her as I removed my jacket to make a nest for the kittens that are already starting to sleep.

"Let me take them" I cut the topic about volleyball as I gently took the sleeping ones to the nest so she can move easily without waking them up.

I never saw someone this gentle with animals.

And I know how soft I can get for those types of people.

"So you are playing to be with them?" It seemed like a question but we both knew that we were aware of the answer to it.

"Yes, if a person doesn't love volleyball, there can be another reason like friends and hobbies. You don't always need to love it for you to do it" I look at the litter of sleeping kittens that warmed my heart a little.

I love animals the most. And seeing her take care of them with great care and gentleness, made an unknown emotion stirred in my heart.

It was the moment I started to admire her.

"If you don't love volleyball, why did you travel all the way to Hyogo just to support them? When I feel like you know they will win?" It was time to know her.

And I was thankful I questioned her.

"My boyfriend is playing, that's why"

Thankful because I already knew the answer if I tried to get a closer bond with her.

It was a reminder to never hope anymore. That I can only have this woman as a friend.

Nothing more than that.

"Then why are you not there?" Questions continue to appear in my mind and it seems like my second question brought back the sad gaze I first saw in her eyes.

"Because my presence wouldn't change anything. I don't see any worth watching him play"

"But that's your boyfriend"

"And? I don't need to always support him" she cut me off immediately that made me press my lips to a line.

I don't want to push her to her limits.

It can be a reason why she wants to be alone outside the stadium to think her mind through it.

"Since he was never there for me anyway"

Like a challenge she can't get over with.

"I tried to be a better partner so he can give me the attention I need. But no matter how hard I tried, it will just be a temporary feeling of admiration." She continued as I saw how her eyes started to get glossy under the moonlight.

"The feeling of everyone's pity gazes scared me. Because my nightmare became a reality" she chuckled as she look away to not show how a tear fell on her eyes.

"It feels like everyone got tired of me"

"Because of his actions, my mind became my own enemy. I started to hate myself, push myself to my limits just so I can catch up with him" she breathlessly muttered before she laid on the concrete floor beside the place where I put my jacket with sleeping kittens on it.

My eyes followed her movement as she gaze at sky above us.

"But thinking right now, it feels like it was alright to be lonely. The time where I feel like I can finally understand the world around me."

"The time where I comforted myself because no one is there to do it for me. That even I expressed the pain in the presence of a stranger" she lifted a small smile.

"It was stupid but refreshing"

It was the moment that made me feel miserable. Because no one came to her life just to save her.

One of the moments where I became thankful that Korai chose to approach me when I reached my breaking point.

If it weren't for him lending his presence to talk to me, I wouldn't have made it.

He unknowingly became the person who help me get through it when I feel like I am drowning.

When I already started break, he is the one who rescued me.

"I berated myself because I thought I failed in volleyball." That made me want to open myself like she did.

Because she chose to trust me.

There were no underlying intention about it, I just simply want to help her get through it like I did.

If I am saved, why can't she?

"Until he arrive to my life and gave me a choice whether to stay or leave. Because no matter what I chose, myself is the most important thing"

Our gaze met again and I felt how my heart warmed with the thought of how we look right now.

Of how we interact right now.

"If you're tired, you can rest. If you don't want to stay, you can leave. You don't always need to adjust for the sake of others" I told her as I lent her my scarf when I noticed how her lips started to tremble.

"Hearing your thoughts, you are really tired of trying to understand the world around you. Creating more complicated decisions for you to choose."

Being alone is the only way where she can clear her thoughts.

With animals around her, they unknowingly became her home.

And it was a sight I don't want to see when I look at her.

"You know, taking a break is not wrong. Because if you didn't, the more you move forward with your situation right now, sooner or later, you will break too and it would be harder to pull through"

"Choosing to cherish yourself is better than losing who you are for somebody else" I move closer to her until I am beside her.

"Don't you think?" I suddenly felt her body close to mine as I felt her tears fall on my shoulder that made my eyes glossy too.

"We would be strangers after this. So feel free to let yourself out."

Because I would sure stay to hear you out.

It was wrong. Letting her seek comfort with another man when she is in a relationship.

But at this time, no one is willing to listen other than me, a person who doesn't know the things she is getting through.

It's for the better, because after this, we would be strangers. Strangers who are aware of the past we have gone through.

We were strangers who went through the same thing.

And that made my heart feel closer to hers.

That I hope there will be more memories of us after this night.

Because I started to want to be beside her. Just so she can have a person to run to.

Even if it feels wrong with our status.

Time passed by and I found her sleeping on my shoulder that lifted a small smile on my lips.

"Oi Hirugami" Followed by my friend's voice that made me look behind us and saw my team, especially the bewilderment look in Korai's face.

"You-" our captain immediately put his hand over my loud friend's mouth before he woke up the woman peacefully sleeping on me.

"Would you go back to the hotel with us?" The captain asked, that made me chuckle and shook my head.

"We'll head first then, call us when you arrive at the lobby"

I nod before he push my friend who was still processing the scene before throwing a look at me that made me playfully wink at him.

I don't want this moment to end yet. But moments like this tend to be shorter than how I wanted.

I gently shake the woman that made her stirred awake.

"Let's go back to your hotel now. You might get sick the longer we stay here" she nod in her drowsy state before I slowly put the kittens in my back as she fixed her hair.

She chose to walk towards her hotel, as I observed how she tried to stay warm in her clothing that put a smile on my lips.

We stop by in a shop for a while to buy a basket for the kittens to sleep in. Yet she stepped outside with a warm coffee in hand.

She silently gave me the cups before gently transferring the kitten from my bag to the basket she bought, where she already placed a soft cloth.

The longer I watched her be gentle to other creatures, the more I felt these forbidden feelings turned bigger.

Liking her is not hard at all.

And I silently yearn for our next meeting when she finally disappears from my sight after giving me a thankful smile.

I arrived back at the hotel our team was staying at with a coffee in hand.

The moment I entered the room, the team sitting in the living room was the one that greeted me with a mumbling Korai who seemed to be cursing me under his breath.

"Who was that?" He asked me immediately as I removed my jacket before taking a sip of coffee.

She has great taste.

"I didn't get her name"

"What?" He seemed to get more irritated at my answer that made me shrug my shoulder before taking a seat in the last seat in the room.

"Having a moment under the moon it's closer to romantic. I doubt you don't know her" a senior of mine teased that made me chuckle at him.

"We are really strangers. I approached her because she is taking care of some kittens"

"Typical Hirugami"

"One way to Hirugami's heart is through animals" they joked but I know that she really took my heart with her.

Because of that one encounter, I fell in love with her.

No matter how forbidden it feels like.

I closed my eyes when my mind started getting worked up again.

After this, she will want to act like nothing happened between the two of us, like we didn't open our past to each other.

And I would gladly oblige even though I'm against it.

But my heart chose to look for her in the audience, my eyes lingering longer than they should be.

Until looking for her started to become my habit. And my heart will feel warmed when my eyes meet hers.

If she can be mine, I would never feel so lost than before.

Because of her, I started to question myself again. Maybe it was fate that she stole my heart.

It made me hope that our encounters have something to bring in my life.

Even a slight sign that she will become someone to my life, instead of just entering my mind.

I gave a smile before she looked away.

Strangers...

I need to always remind myself what I need to think of her. A word that tells me to not go further.

An encounter that shouldn't be focused on.

But I can't promise myself that.

Especially when her break up with Inarizaki's setter reaches my ears.

It comforted my heart knowing she began to choose herself. But I know I seriously need to give the space she needs so she can move on.

So I prevent myself from looking for her. Until her ex confronted me in the middle of the match.

"I lost to you again and I hate it"

Then I began to realize that she somehow mentioned me. No wonder he started to target me and my feet finally got injured because I couldn't keep up on the pressure he was giving me.

"How annoying" Korai clicked his tongue as I hissed when the manager put pressure on my sprain.

It happened when I landed on a bad footing after receiving his supposed to be jump float serve yet turn it into a jump serve.

I was lucky to not get myself injured but it threw me off guard.

And it sucked that she was the reason that made this happen.

If Atsumu only know that my love for his ex is one-sided. He might have lessen his jealousy to me.

I sighed to calm myself down when my team decided to bench me out which what Korai hated but he knew that if I keep playing, it will be worse than now.

"Goodluck" I wave off the incident knowing the man is going through something.

Targeting in a sport is normal. I can't even avoid it.

I watched my team lose against Inarizaki that stirred a feeling within me but I know this is destiny.

Since he is the one who ended up crying even though they won.

So it's 50-50 I guess.

"Let's go back here in Spring interhigh" I told them when they approached me on the sidelines with some who have glossy eyes.

I knew how big my role was in the team.

I already know the outcome if I ever get injured.

But right now, we need to accept the loss.

I watched my team eat in the restaurant until I felt something nudging my injured ankle that made me look below the table and saw a familiar kitten I took care of with her.

I took the small feline and my eyes immediately looked for her figure and saw she was already looking at me from the corner.

I excused myself from the team before I headed towards her table and stopped beside it.

"Would you mind me joining you?"

She hummed so I decided to sit in front of her and my attention went to the kittens snuggling in the basket.

"Are you planning to keep them?" I started the conversation as she took a sip of her drink before looking over at the kittens.

"Maybe..." She muttered before leaning on her seat that made me focus my attention on her.

"What is it?" I went straight to the point and sent a smile in her direction. I noticed a small faint blush in her cheeks that made my smile bigger.

"You don't need to apologize for something you didn't do" I cut her off when she seems like she is going to apologize for the things that happened a while ago in the match.

Her face turned sullen and made me smile when I read her mind.

"It was my fault for mentioning your name. I shouldn't have said that to him" she looked down on embarrassment as I nod.

But I think it's better to mention that to him. Because an untold story can be viewed differently if it weren't revealed immediately.

"It's fine"

"But he injured you" she muttered before slapping a hand on her forehead.

"It's normal in a match. We shouldn't blame anyone for it"

I don't want to blame herself again for a slight moment of losing control over their emotions.

I took a hold of her hand over the table that made her look up to me.

"It's alright. Don't hate yourself because I won't forgive you for that" I squeezed her hands that made her nod before I let go and started playing with the cats.

"What's your name? I never got to ask you" I ask her as the kitten I'm holding my head on my cheek.

"Y/n" she whispered that lifted a small smile on my lips.

"This made us acquaintances, right?"

Even if I need to start slowly. Even if I need to start at the very beginning. I'm willing.

Because it was for her.

I don't want to lose her like he did. I wanted her more than anybody did.

I would never meet someone like her who made me fall in love at first sight that I once thought never existed.

But because of her, I'm willing to give effort to the emotions called 'love'.

I did everything just to keep in contact with her, even at a far distance.

Even creating a schedule on when I can disturb her just so we won't lose touch with each other.

It was easier when she chose to spend time with me so she could move on. At least even in call, the presence still help her feel like she was not alone.

Even if we need to go through the phase of friendship. Even if it take two years maximum, I'll do my best so she can learn to love me too.

Despite of her fear on love because of her first time, I'm willing to repeat the same words all over again.

Willing to travel the country with just one call. Willing to do something I haven't done before because she loves it.

Even if I start at the beginning, I'll make sure our ending is the one I wanted.

The last day of my first year in Spring interhigh.

Is the beginning of my story...

Where I met my first love