#i can't even go to my fucking room i'm supposed to be watching this fucker

[threepandas]

Bad End: Royal Red

Have you ever seen blood BURN like the sun?

I'm not even sure "burn" is the right word for it. Writhe? Scream? HATE? Like a standing on a cliff, staring down at a valley consumed in flames. Old forests full of life... burning. Dying. Wrong.

The sky choked with thick black smoke. Tar-like and staining. The ROAR of it. Moisture ripped so utterly from the air, it hurts to breathe. Heat so absolute as it rises... you can not imagine there was ever, EVER life here.

But there was.

And it was once beautiful.

Ancient and green, bird song and morning mist. Moss beneath bare feet and the gentle quiet that is no quiet at all. A thing ALIVE. Breathing. Whole. Now gone beneath the flame. The carnage and hunger. As animals flee for their lives and your men die, desperate to hold back the all consuming spread.

Nothing but FIRE remains.

But have you seen BLOOD burn? The weeping wounds of a soul? The... WRONGNESS inside a man, catch light? A shade of ever overlapping crimson. Drying blood somehow just as fluid as the fresh. Old wounds and new. Somewhere, the depth of scars...

BURNING.

I have.

I do.

I wish I did not.

There is something... WRONG with his Highness. Now, the Crown Prince. He... He HAD brothers. Some were awful, others indifferent. But all of them? All of them are gone. Terrible accidents, allegedly. One after another. And they were NOT the only one's. Consorts, lovers, mistresses and supporters. Allies and anyone unfortunate enough to be in his Highness' way.

But of course, I can prove nothing. And to SUGGEST such a thing? That would be Treason. Defamation of a Royal. That it is TRUE? Holds no bearing. Is utterly irrelevant. Even if I HAD had the proper training, even I'd my Gifts WERE formally recognized, ultimately? Politics is King.

It's not supposed to be. But when has life ever been so kind? When has "supposed to" EVER won the day? No. Such talk gets men killed. And dying once? Was quite enough for me.

Though I HAD to wonder...

How does a Protagonist fuck up SO BADLY, that they somehow send their Hidden Route target, into an empire conquering, murder spiral? That's not "a few bad choices" levels of making a mistake. THAT'S? Damn near deliberate sabotage and I just wanna talk. Violently.

I WOULD too, if I wasn't pretty certain they were either on the run or in exile.

All I had wanted? ALL I HAD EVER WANTED?? Was to just be set dressing. Soldier A, the unimportant background gaurd. A nice, faceless, grunt. Maybe chat with my equals of plot significance, a potted plant and yonder chair. Then? I could take my pay, go home, and live quietly.

But NO!

I get stationed following the Seventh prince. Mr. Hidden Route himself. Which? Okay, fine. Was HOPING for gate duty, cause NOTHING happens on gate duty, but FINE. But THEN? Half my co-workers are ASSHOLES. Like... child abusing assholes! The FUCK?!

So? Oops. Accident on the stairs! Whoops! Lemme help you there, man. Oh? Did I ACCIDENTALLY crush the hand you used to hit that kid? Golly! Gee, I sure hope the healers can fix that for you! (I fucking know they both can't and wouldn't if they could. You can't afford SHIT.) Lemme HELP you there, AGAIN, BUUUUUDDY~☆!

Threatening you? Why I would NEVER! That's illegal!

You know... like hitting kids.

And OTHER shit they try to pull. Never DID get around to updating my Gaurd Forms. Whoops. Turns out being able to literally SEE the malicious intent on a fucker? Makes it pretty easy to know who to watch. DID get jumped a lot though. Stabbed a few times.

I just? Wanted to watch my favorite Otome game play out, you know? Get payed while doing it. Sunk cost fallacy kicked in. I've been here since I was a PRE-TEEN. Signed up for training, a ten year contract, and everything! I can LEAVE now... but like? Go WHERE? And honestly... I'm not actually sure I CAN.

Things are... Tense.

Or maybe they're just tense for me? 'Cause... Cause something isn't right. It's that burning blood color. The way it fills a room. Reaches, covetous, like staining hands. Writhes and drags itself against everything. Something unholy, between a lustful grind and the dragging of the wounded. It's not even demonic. No... somehow? It's WORSE for being utterly human.

There is something deeply wrong with the man I am sworn to obey, and I do not know how to escape him.

Because I definitely SHOULD.

I'm not stupid. He's been... been keeping me, SPECIFICALLY, close at hand, since becoming Crown Prince. The SECOND he was able to assign his OWN gaurds? I am suddenly honor gaurd. Yet not. I have basically no job but to stab just behind and to the side of him and look pretty. (For the given quality of THAT.) And...? Even the other gaurds are looking nervous.

It's NEVER a good thing when powerful people suddenly pay attention to an individual gaurd, servant, or maid. They tend to end up... hurt. Dead. Worse. And given recent behavior? Well... I've been getting offers to quietly arrange an "accident" for me.

Not so sure it won't get everyone involved killed.

He wasn't always LIKE this. Yeah, he was... different, but it wasn't BAD. Just... off. A bit weird. A color I hadn't seen before and couldn't for the life of me figure out. It had been... well, nothing. Not even grey. I KNOW grey, it's apathy or depression. Emotional flatness.

But his Highness? Like mist. The lite distortion of water droplets. Colorless and near weightless, drifting gently along. It was as though he DIDNT have emotional responses to anything. Not even flat. Just... non-existant. Which? If so? That's okay! Really. Takes all types. Something to NOTE, yeah, maybe accommodate? But fine.

It's not like there were psychiatric meds or doctors we could get for him. If he was different, so be it. We just had to work around that. Plan accordingly. Worst case scenario, maybe keep him away from small breakable things. But? He seemed benign. I shrugged and moved on. Accepted him as he was.

Maybe went out of my way to explain things with logic more then feelings. Even when I WAS explaining feelings. Ethics. Pretty much anything else he asked. Which... wait a second...

Fuck.

A nameless gaurd SHOULD NOT know that much about psychology or politics. Economics on the macro or micro scale. Oh god DAMN it Wikipedia! You betray me a lifetime away?! Et Tu random research binges!?

Okay. Okay! So maaaaybe? THATS why he's keeping me close? Cause yeah, I'm pretty stacked these days. No internet kinda leaves nothing BUT time to train and read... and books are kinda hard to get, at my level. So like? Maybe a second set of eyes?

....doesn't feel right though. Close but missing the obvious mark-ish.

I try to think of my interactions with the prince. BEFORE murder-spiral kick-off. He sought me out a lot. I interfered so many times when his Tutors crossed lines, they got me kicked out of the main building. He started skipping lessons to self-study. I got put on patrol? He learned my patrol schedule. Would invade the gaurd mess.

Got punished for that, I think. Vicious cycle. I get punished, he gets upset, wants to make sure I'm okay, I get punished for his basic empathy and being a kid. They kept reassigning me. I got stabbed that first time. Sent too...

Wait.

I try to pull up what I know of the Game in my brain. The Hidden Route and the other Routes. We are.... WAY off script. Not off GENRE... just...?

Mentally I set the Game aside. Shifting in my guarding position at the Crown Prince's side. He continues to work. The soft rustle of papers and the scratching of his pen, filling the silence along side the clink and shift of my armor. We are in the sun room, surrounded by flowers, supposedly for the better light.

To be honest, I hadn't ever BEEN in this room until I was basicly expected to tail the Crown Prince like a glorified, armor wearing, pet. And too be honest? Given that the REST of his honor gaurd were ACTUAL KNIGHTS? It was well beyond ridiculous at this point.

I was a club bouncer surrounded by elite special forces, in fancy little armor, that I could in NO way, have ever afforded on my own. Oh, and I wasn't really allowed to talk to them. So... WHY? Why, EXACTLY, was I here? There was no realistic way anything could get PASSED all those knights. I certainly wasn't PROTECTING the Crown Prince from SHIT.

And... and he hadn't attacked me, thank God. No touchy hands "service to the crown" shtick. Demanding things I couldn't refuse him. So THAT wasn't it...

Right?

My brain insisted it wasn't. That I should keep going over the list of possible reasons. Consider This or That. But... Something in my gut? Rang like a struck bell. Some non-physical part of me. That peice that twined, like gentle golden ivy, up through my body, too wrap around my eyes from the inside. Not enough, maybe, to get me into some high and mighty school or apprenticeship... but ENOUGH.

Because Magic was, is, and always has been? Divine. For all that HUMANS fail while using it. For every MORTAL error in it's implementing or understanding. It's a drop of the Divine. And? You can not LIE to the Gods. Hide, perhaps, but not LIE. Even then, you'd have to know what you're hiding FROM.

Kinda hard to hide from "using past life knowledge to deduce motivation" when that's not exactly a thing people can easily guess I HAVE. I get away with shit. Know things I really shouldn't.

Am.... am desperately trying to convince myself that the twinge I just felt? DOESN'T mean what I think it means. Even as a cold sweat breaks out over my skin. As I desperately keep my expression placid and my stare straight into the middle distance. Ha ha.... oh god. No no no, oh god, no...!

Okay. OKAY! Lying to yourself will NOT keep you safe! We can do this! Nothing is happening. We just... just have to play it cool. NOT. PANIC.

He DID want us for sexual reasons.

But... more? More, maybe. I poke at the feeling. Try to frame my thoughts as absolute statement as see if I get a twinge again. To get a feel for the edges of whatever is happening. I can not protect myself, if I do not KNOW from what I protect AGAINST. Just sex? No. Was I a convenience choice? Also No. Revenge for something? A sudden certainty that I'd be DEAD if it was.

Oh, THATS not concerning at ALL!

Okay, keep prodding. Uuuuh... He has a thing for big muscle-y dudes with scars? Strong yes. Okay! Getting somewhere! Kinda thought he liked the petite, girly girl-ish typ-? Weirdly hollow No? Strong. Okay, what the FUCK. See THIS? THIS is why I wanted to be a fucking GAURD. No weird Protagonist of any adventures bullshit! Just a 9-5 with a paycheck at the end!

Uuuugh. Okay, soooo... likes? Strong dudes.... and I was the closest? No. Okay! Getting somewhere! Other strong dude... isn't available? Yes, but I am looking at it wrong. Great. At least I know what that feeling MEANS. Still wish it would just follow up with a "and btw, here's the answer~☆" but, fuck no! Why would life make anything EASY for a guy?

Fuck it! Random shit at the wall time. He's definitely in love with the Protagonist? No. Wait, really? Then why...? No. Stay on track. He's in definitely in love with ME? I wait, utterly expectant, for the twinge that will mark a negative. Half cursing myself for not checking with the Divine sooner. There had been no excuse. Distractions, yes, but no excuse.

It feels like getting sucker punched in the gut. HARD.

Takes everything in me, not to wheeze and double over. That... that wasn't a "yes". That was so FAR beyond "yes" I'm not sure there are spoken, written, or even conceptual WORDS for it. As absolute a CONCEPT of Yes as I have ever felt or probably ever will.

It... It did NOT feel good.

That was a WARNING.

Like the Gods them selves had taken me by the back of the neck, stepped close, to whisper in my ear as they drove their fist into my gut. "Pay Attention To This. RUN. You Need To RUN. There Are Monsters Here."

My eyes feel like they are burning. Like I haven't blinked in too long. Colors a bit too bright, details too sharp. The edges of reality cutting like splintering, glittering, glass. Everything has a GLOW to it. It's never done that before. Is... is this panic? Fight or Flight forcing me to draw deeper then I ever have before?

Or are the Gods paying attention? Displeased by what they see?

The room around us is... is so quiet. Beautiful. Rare flowers, teeming with life. Decorative and pampered little song birds, flitting from roost to roost. The rich scent of rare tea and expensive cologne, mixing with armor polish and the scent of green, living things. Sunlight makes his Highness' hair glow like it was made of it. Pale gold and filled with light.

If I could not SEE... his Highness would be beautiful.

But I can, and instead? He's terrifying.

I think I'm shaking. I don't understand. The room around me picturesque. Peaceful. Golden and filled with gently beautiful things. Light. It feels mocking. Paper thin. Like some cruel trap laid out over a pit of tar. As though, like in the cartoons of my old childhood, the INSTANT I become aware... acknowledge the reality of my ACTUAL surroundings?

The paper thin veneer will rip, no longer able to hold my weight, and I will be plunged into the horrors just beneath the lie.

How.... HOW did-?! I... I CAN'T-!

I put everything I am, into letting nothing show. E-Everything is FINE. Do not turn around. Please. Please, Gods, do not notice me or turn around! I breathe. Breathe. Can't do nothing now, but breathe. Panic is the mind killer. I remind myself of that. People do stupid things, when they act in panic. Think. THINK! Plan. THEN act! Breathe.

How? HOW did this happen? Trace it back. Find the source and we can... can maybe unhook the noose. Fix this? Escape? Run and keep running. Find the edge of the map and keep going. Where did it...? My brain, maybe my magic, finally takes pity. Connects the wires that have long been JUST missing each other. My mental list of Genre Troupes. My history with the Prince.

The blood drains from my face.

Oh fuck. Shit! Oh fuck, oh SHIT. Yandere. He was a YANDERE hidden route character! Wasn't he!? It's the only thing that makes sense with the-! No, no, he should still-! But, wait. No. No, no, NO. Oh god! I pulled a combo attack. "Childhood best friend" even though we WEREN'T. I was basically the closest in age to him! AND the only non-asshole! So that's "Different From The Others"!

Oh mother FUCKER, I pulled a "Only One Who Cares About Me" while SERVING him! His fucked up little squirrel brain would have taken that as "belonged to him" only to have me "taken away" when I was assigned elsewhere! Every time I kept someone from ABUSING him, I was making it WORSE. Every time they reassigned me, somebody was "trying to take me away"!

Oh sweet merciful FUCK, I got STABBED!

No WONDER he lost his absolute shit! He was unhinged to begin with! But instead of latching on to Protagonist and being HER problem, he latched on to ME! Why did no one warn me he was-!? Actually, I have no idea. Non-Just-Straight?! That! One of the THAT! Like FUCK I'm asking! He'd think it was an invitation, probably!

Because he NUCKING FUTS! Squirrels in the brain! Def Con OH SHIT!!

Yandere! Shit! I'm gonna di-!

"Something's upset you." The crown prince's surprisingly deep voice says, breaking the silence. I flinch. "I can feel your magic moving. An attack, perhaps? Or is someone saying something they should not."

He... oh, great, amazing! He can FEEL my magic. The magic INSIDE me body. That magic. Yeah, I don't feel stripped naked and on display AT ALL. Thanks! Definitely not invasive, your Highness! Still, I have to answer. Carefully. Very, VERY carefully.

He hums, disbelieving, as I reply. Lifting his pen and setting it aside. A graceful hand lifts. The mere flick of his fingers. "Move" it means. "Come where I can see you". Imperious and royal. Casual in it's assumed control of me. Why would he believe anything else, after all? He IS a prince. The CROWN Prince. Future KING.

He DOES own me.

I keep my breathing even. Keep my hands from visually shaking by tightening my grip on my spear. Even, professional, steps. Forward. Turn. Face your ruler. Your BETTER. No eye contact. Even breathing and eyes to the horizon. You are a statue. Just... just be a statue. No thoughts. You can do this.

It doesnt help. I can FEEL those pale, pale eyes. Striking and blue. Rare flower petals or glacier ice, they have been called. Compared to all sorts of haunting things. The Crown Prince is a beautiful man. That dangerous sort of pale beauty, that make for excellent portraits, of bright and holy things. That fools the eyes into thinking surely, SURELY the soul before your is Good. Trustworthy.

How could anything so beautiful be DANGEROUS?

Be corrupted and insane? A killer. A madman.

A MONSTER.

I stand at attention. Where he can observe me. His little toy soilder. Kept like a PET, I know realize, and try not to feel like I am being picked apart. Like a mouse in some tigers cage. The far wall sure is fascinating. Mmmmhmm. Very... very wall-like. Glass and artfully arranged flowering vines. Very pretty. What a wall! Ten stars for wall-ness.

The near silent shift of fine fabrics. A tap. Nail on high grade armor alloy. Just the smallest of sounds that nonetheless seems deafening. I barely stop myself from jerking back in alarm. Can't prevent my gaze from snapping downwards. To the arm outstretched, the elegant hand curled, the well manicured finger nail on the single outstretched finger... that has placed itself right over my heart. I freeze, utterly.

"You're getting nervous, aren't you? Growing uncertain. I've been so busy planning ahead, I've forgotten the here and now, haven't I?" He muses. That finger I should not be able to feel, that somehow feels like a knife trailed along my skin, glides slowly down. A meandering path down towards my belt. "I've neglected you."

The finger hooks into my belt. I am dragged forward a few stumbling steps with a deceptively strong tug. There is significant muscle, hidden by the almost waifish cut of his Highness daily wear. The eyes watching for my reaction are predatory. Intent. It was as though there should be fangs, in that pleasant, politician's grin...

"My steadfast knight, warrior of my heart, you've been so patient for me... so LOYAL." He rolled the word across his tongue as he said it, eyes locked on me with the sort of interest hunter keep, more a sigh then a word. Somehow.. Somehow the concept became OBSCENE, once in his hands. "So good for me. Even after all this time. Soon, Dearest. Soon we won't have to hide. I promise."

I had NEVER been a knight. Not even CLOSE to qualified for the training. Not even a single branch, magical or otherwise. Worse? I knew for a FACT? We had never, not ONCE, been lovers. No stolen glances. No fumbling youthful hands. No "hey, let's explore this closet!". Nothing. I? Had been studiously professional, if a decent human being.

This was ALL him.

What narrative had he painted in his head?

My heart pounds. My brain somehow both gibbering hysteria and unnatural calm. I... I think I may be disassociating. But all I can think, all I KNOW, is that I can NOT, Under ANY Circumstances, break the illusion. Do NOT argue. Why YES, deeply insane FUTURE KING, I DO love you so VERY much! Hey, don't mind me, just left the phone running. Gonna go for a walk. Buy some milk.

I watch, pleasant service industry smile feeling plastic on my face, as he leans forward. Rests his head against my armored chest, as though we were lovers. Just stealing a quite little moment alone. His hand slides along my belt, fingers hooked into it, the brush of his knuckles feeling far filthier then any groping hand. I can HEAR him breathing me in.

Obscene. How is he making such chaste contact so deeply obscene? He let's out a pleased hum and I want a shower.

"Kneel for me?" So soft I almost don't catch it, it takes a moment to register the words. This time, I can not stop myself from tensing. I know he feels it, but can not bring myself to care. "Shhhh shh shh, none of this, my Darling. To your knees before your King. Sweetheart, my dearest. You're going to be serving me there for the rest of our lives. It's okay. Your King won't rush you. He knows how shy you are. How nervous."

W-Well THAT wasn't treason! At ALL! Ha ha...! Oh god.

Hands at my waist. When did the other one-?! I'm shaking. Smile. D-dont set him off. This is fine. I... I shouldn't be ABLE to feel their heat, through my armor. Somehow I do. I want to back up. If I got to do this? At least let me-!

But, no. Pressure. Hands on my hips dragging me down, watching eyes expectant. In stops and starts... like a seizing automaton, my knees bend. Down I go... I guess.

Almost instantly, there are hands unbuckling my helmet. Sliding it off. Stealing it away. Fingers slide through my hair. Cup my cheek. A thumb running itself across my mouth. The prince seemed to loom. Hungry as he stared down at me.

"Beautiful. My loyal knight is so, SO beautiful. I am going to give us the world. Take what is ours. No one will EVER hurt us again, Dearest. I will keep you forever. Dress you in armor and roses. Mine and mine alone."

There was madness in his eyes. Obsession. Is...is that what that color meant? That burning, terrible blood? It's too late. Oh god, it's too late for that to help me. I smile. Do not argue. Fear and fear and fear. I have to get out. On my knees, it is a terrible view of what's to come, should I fail. The Games's utterly fucked. I no longer care.

I have to get out.

The King, after all, has gotten sick lately.

[lowkeyrobin]

Oh hello me again 👀

I had another idea lmao, this one's a little dumber but here me out 🙏

Joshdub x Reader teasing each other over accents/comparing accents (literally any accent I don't mind, I just need Josh content, literally my second favorite of The Boys and second favorite Australian lol)

STOP I LOVE THIS AWERHJRNWNRBSNSN ; thank you for requesting! hope you enjoy ; your reqs r literally the best lol ; also I'll have that foolish one you sent me up soon I just need to tweak some stuff

JOSHDUB ; accents

summary ; you and Josh like to bully each other over your accents

warnings ; language, excessive DubDaddy running gag/joke idfk

word count ; 646

masterlist

"Bro, shut the fuck up, no way you're trying to diss me with your biscuits and tea looking self"

"Says you, scorpion fucker!"

"What the hell is happening right now?" Mully questions with a slight laugh, looking over to Juicy, Eddie, Gabby, and Narrator.

Juicy answers his question, "They're fighting over their accents"

The four watch as you and Josh continue roasting and arguing with each other, throwing insults every which way.

You were all staying at Juicy's house for a large sleepover-party, currently located in the living room. Prior to the playful argument, you'd all been watching a dumb action movie, which got paused because you all agreed that it was too boring and wanted to talk instead. The girls, minus Gabby, had left to go pick up some pizza and wings, considering none of you had eaten dinner yet, and it was already seven in the evening.

Gabby laughs, hearing another cruel insult escape your mouth. "When are the girls getting back with the pizza?"

Narrator looks down at his watch, "Hopefully within the next 15 minutes before they strangle each other"

"You're a cock sucker. You literally speak in gibberish"

"Says you! A few sandwiches short of a picnic. What's that even mean?"

"Okay, and I'm supposed to know what chuck a sickie and fire up the barbie mean? Quiet yourself down, Josh"

Juicy snickers, a hand loosely covering his mouth as he looks away momentarily. Eddie laughs, cheering you on in his native language across the room, Gabby under his arm. Mully can't help but laugh with Narrator beside him, both of them unable to hold back their amusement. It wasn't necessarily what you were speaking was funny, it was the tone and why you were fighting that got them.

"This is the stupidest thing we've ever argued over" Josh chuckles, "That includes that time where you tried to gaslight me into thinking you didn't call me DubDaddy"

"Again, that wasn't gaslighting! I didn't call you DubDaddy!"

"Why do you say daddy like that?" He laughs, "You accentuate the a like an au sound"

"It's just how I speak! Say tuna"

"Tuna" He speaks, pronouncing it like ch-una.

"See?!" You exclaim, "You're the one talking weird"

"You say tuna like t-ew-nah!" He counterclaims

"Yeah, okay" You playfully roll your eyes and cross your arms, leaning back into the couch. You look over at Juicy, then Eddie and Gabby, then Mully and Narrator. "I don't say it like that, right?"

They're silent, failing to hide the smiles tugging at the corners of their lips.

"You're fucking kidding me!"

"To be fair!-" Juicy quickly speaks, "You both sound dumb. Mully does too."

"Ha!" You laugh, looking at Josh with a smug smile.

"What the hell?" Mully questions, looking to Juicy, "When was I involved in them?"

Juicy shrugs, "Since you decided to be Australian, brother"

"Dawg, you can't choose to be a certain nationality," Eddie laughs, using his free hand to rub the T-section between his eyes and over his nose.

"Are we not going to talk about the DubDaddy thing?" Mully asks, refocusing the conversation. "I don't remember this happening"

"Shut the fuck up" You quickly reply, moving your legs around to sit criss-cross on the couch.

"No, no, no. Tell us about that" Juicy giggles.

Josh quickly explains before you can tell your side of the story. "We were on VR Minecraft, after that 24 hour challenge-"

"I didn't call you DubDaddy!"

"-And we were trying to at least get to the Nether, right? They fell into a pit of lava, logged out while screaming DubDaddy into their mic, wanting me to help them or get water to save them from the lava pit they were in" Josh chuckles, seeing your annoyed expression.

"I did not call him that, I swear on my life"

"I don't think anyone's believing you, Y/n"

[kitorin]

LOVE ALL PLAY. - ITOSHI RIN

THREE - TWO IDIOTS, A GENIUS, AND THEIR COMPANION.

contents. no warnings, smau

"I already want to go home." Rin mutters under his breath, thigh bouncing under the table as he stares at the first problem.

The combination of letters and numbers are quite grotesque, and the instructions are asking for far too much (how is he supposed to figure about what it was? It's unknown for a reason). Rin scrunches his nose in disgust at the sight, so does Isagi, who runs his hand through his hair while staring at his notebook. Shidou on the other hand was perfectly unbothered (as expected) as he displays discourtesy in the library's private room, resting his feet and legs onto the table (Rin thanks himself for sitting away from him).

"I need help." At least Isagi was willing to reveal his confusion, Rin reminds himself to listen in carefully to the explanation. It's not that math is too hard, but that he hasn't seen anything like this before.

"Save it 'til the end. I'm working on somethin' for a bit." He doesn't look away from his phone, and from the way he picked his nose and watched with half lidded eyes, he obviously wasn't concentrating on anything. "Wait for the others."

"Who? I thought it was just us." Rin diverts his attention away from the question, the mere sight of mathematics was enough to make him nauseous.

"'Was'." Shidou still doesn't look up from the screen. "Isagi over here found people willing to help your dumbass." Rin opens his mouth to defend himself, but Shidou continues before he could do so. "They should be here anytime soon, oh, they just texted. Finding us right now."

The senior's lack of attention and care only frustrated Rin further, he's not quite sure if he hates the word problems or Shidou more.

"Who did you invite?" He wants to trust Isagi enough to find someone reliable, but that was difficult after Yukimiya grouped him with Shidou.

Isagi remains silent, as he rushes over to the door to open it when he hears a knock. "Hiori! Thank you for your time today." He greets him enthusiastically, bowing at an almost 90 degree angle, mannerisms flustering the taller boy.

"There's no need to be so formal—We're happy to help and it'll be good revision for us, especially since it's earlier than we usually study." He ushers Isagi to stand up straight, reminding him that formalities were unnecessary since they were the same age. "You must be Shidou?"

Finally, Shidou puts his phone away. "Yeah, thanks for helpin' us out with this idiot."

Rin interjects. "There's two of us."

"No, there's one of you, and there's Yoi. Yoi's cute. You are not." Shidou doesn't even spare a glance in Rin's direction. "Your brother on the other hand—that man is adorable."

Rin scowls. "Don't even call him that."

"Fine, he's my cutie patootie."

"The fuck does that mean?"

Shidou crosses his arms in attempt to mock Rin. "He's my pookie bear."

"Worst one by far."

As Rin finds himself more disgusted by Shidou's peculiar infatuation with his older brother, Isagi and Hiori didn't pay much attention to their conversation.

"y/n's here." Hiori points at somewhere out the door, down the corridor and Isagi peers outside to check. "They were at the bathroom."

"And why is that fucker here?" Rin regrets speaking, his harsh tone making Hiori flinch. He had no problem with Hiori, but he can't help how the thought of you makes his skin itch with agitation.

Panicking, Isagi inserts himself in the space between Rin and Hiori. "I invited them—They're both really smart and willing to help."

"Rin Rin!" To which, Rin groans. "I had no idea you could read a book, let alone study."

He scowls. "Very funny. As if you haven't heard me answer our teacher."

You shrug, actions and words dripped with sarcasm. "I dunno, if you really were capable you wouldn't be here relyin' on us."

Rin remains silent at that.

"I already like them." Their senior cackles. "Shidou Ryusei, by the way." Hiori briefly introduces himself, and so does he.

Isagi leans over to whisper into Rin's ear. "Feel free to complain and object, if you're willing to pay for a tutor, or okay with not competing." Rin's reply is non existent, and the silence already feels awkward.

"Anyways, though I can't and won't guarantee any results I'll do my best." You announce as Hiori nods along. "Let's all do our best, yeah?"

Isagi grins, full of energy and determination, returning to his worksheet. While Rin was quite the opposite. You and Hiori unpack, laying out everything you'd need for the study session.

Only for you to turn on your phone

Hiori pokes your cheek. "y/n. Do I need to remind you that now's not play games? We're here to study, remember?"

The oldest in the room interferes. "Who cares, one round. I play too." He mimics your action. "I'll make the room."

"See? Shidou-senpai gets me. Surely one round. All together. I can actually play properly since my hands aren't soaked with sweat."

Hiori winces at the unnecessary detail.

Rin interrupts. "You're just going to play games while we study?"

"Oh I'm sorry, when was the last time you got passed a test. Primary? Kindergarten? Pre-school?"

With a scoff, he retaliates. "And when was the last time you grew? Infancy?"

To the best of your ability, you conceal your offense. "I'll have you know I grew an inch in the past year."

"And I'll have you know that I ace English every year." At least foreign languages had practical use for everyone. He doesn't need to fully comprehend and analyse Shonagon Sei's The Pillow Book or be proficient in mathematics to dominate as an athlete. Arguably, fluency in another language was most important.

"Only English?" You critique him in another language; what he'd assume to be Mandarin. "Only two languages?"

Great, now you have another thing to make fun of him for. Maybe he'll finally start learning French.

Hiori hits your shoulder and you yelp (he also snatches your phone while he's at it). "You can't be talking—you only know a few sentences of Mandarin and didn't get any of the tones right just then." Rin holds back a groan for falling for your antics, while resisting a smile from Hiori calling it out.

"I would've sold it if you didn't point that out."

"You're a scammer, not a salesman. Quit being immature and stop trying to compete with the poor guy." Hiori mutters out an apology on your behalf, as he drags you by the hem of your shirt to where Isagi was scratching his head over a problem. "I'm separating you two."

Rin likes Hiori, quite a bit.

Shidou nudges Isagi. "I like this y/n." Well I don't, Rin thinks to himself. "Here's the plan. We'll teach the subjects we're best at. I think you 'nd Hiori are fine with everything though. Straight As, right?" Rin doesn't care about grades, but knowing that you're maintaining a results as an athlete and proficient in academics has his skin prickling with envy.

"Yeah." You reply nonchalantly, peering at the problem Isagi was stuck on. "Not that confident with science though."

Hiori nods. "As long as it's not math, but y/n can cover for that anyways. I started learning English from a young age so I guess that's my best topic."

Shidou claps his hands together. "Perfect."

"You're actually so fucking stupid."

"I'm sorry I haven't been studying for every day of my life." Rin spat, clenching the mechanical pencil in his hand hard enough to the point he started trembling. "You're here to teach me not to act like a fucking dumbass.

"It's long division." You yell. "It's literally the same as regular long division but with 'x' involved."

"Well I can't do the one with polynomials if I can't do regular long division." It completely slipped his mind once he discovered that high school tests often permitted the use of a calculator.

The poor table suffers an indignant slam from you. "How? I've done this stuff since I could hold a pencil."

"Not everyone's the same as you." Rin wonders, what sort of childhood you had to already comprehend such concepts at a young age (not that he cares, it's simply curiosity). "You don't even need to know how to do long division, you have a calculator."

"Well some shit you just don't forget.'

"You're clearly wrong in that case."

"No you're just stupid."

Amidst the chaos within the tiny room, Rin can barely catch the gentle encouragement from Hiori to Isagi. Why can't you be like that, or at least, why can't Hiori help him instead? Shidou fucked off somewhere a while ago, Rin's relieved that he doesn't have to spend time with him; but that means more time with you.

He leans back into his chair, tossing the pencil onto the table. "Why can't you be like that?" He aggressively points in Hiori's direction. "Mature and intelligent."

Though hesitant, Hiori denies his compliments. "y/n's a lot smarter than me... especially in mathematics."

"Smarter or not, doesn't matter. I hate them."

Now you're slumping onto the table, nuzzling your face into your own bicep. "Love you too, sweetheart."

"Do not call me that—"

You cut him off by slamming your palm on the table. "Food. I want food. A break is well deserved, don't you think?"

Something tells him that it was directed to him, but Rin still responds. "I'm the one who needs a break. All you did was yell and it produced no results."

Your faux pout makes a return, as you make your way to Isagi, hands resting on his shoulders. "Think of everyone else dumbass. We've been locked in a room for hours—"

"You're free to walk out whenever, in fact, please do so. Now."

"You people need my genius—"

"The booking." Hiori interrupts. "The booking is finishing soon. So we're leaving soon either way." Relief makes Isagi pack everything up, stuffing it hastily in his shoulder bag. "And you willingly came here to study, stop hyperbolising everything."

"Hi-o-rin, we're getting food." Ignoring his scolding, you cling onto his arm, carrying the both of your bags while you're at it. "There's a nice place nearby, let's all go together." You sling your arm around Isagi's shoulder, pulling him in. “Surely we go get zaru soba too.”

Isagi falls for your charm—or what Rin would much rather call irritation. “That’d be nice. Where would you recommend, then?”

“y/n and I usually go to this place nearby. It’s a bit of a walk but it’d be worth it. They have other foods too if you’re more of a rice person.” Hiori had positioned himself between you and Rin, after weaving out of your embrace. “We can get ice cream from FamilyMart if we overheat.” He holds the door open for everyone, to which Rin bows politely in gratitude.

“I can’t.” Rin declines, partially because he prefers the quiet atmosphere of his home to eat; the rest of his reasoning is merely your presence.

What part of “I can’t” did you not understand.

Now he’s seated at a table in a crowded and noisy restaurant, thanks to you dragging him along (he's also confused at how you managed to pull that off). He’d be thankful that he wasn’t seated next to you, but that meant being forced to face you for the entirety of his meal.

There’s you in front of him (by Hiori’s side, of course), pondering a stupid decision while Hiori actually bothers to hear you out.

“Grape Calpis… or regular Calpis.”

“Can you even tell the difference between them?” Hiori’s fingers massage his temples. “Hurry up and give Rin the menu.”

“Yeah yeah, I know. You’re not my mum.”

Isagi interjects. “Which one did you pick?”

You hand the menu to Rin. “Milk tea.”

And with that Isagi returns to glancing over the menu.

“Ochazuke for me. Cold.”

“I’ll get the katsudon.” Isagi asks.

You stand up with a gentle slam of the table (what is it with you and that tendency?). “I’ll go order then. Hiorin, same as usual?” Your being to weave through people after Hiori nods.

“What’s wrong? Thinkin’ about somethin’?”

Isagi chokes on nothing. “No, I mean yes but it’s about y/n—”

Maintaining eye contact, Hiori takes a sip of his water. It doesn’t come off as intimidating, rather curious instead. “Have they been annoying you too?”

“Of course not—that’s just Rin being Rin.” Arms folded against his chest, Rin glares from the corner of his eye, but doesn’t say anything. “I hear a lot of people calling y/n a genius. Why is that?"

“Oh. That. Our club gave them that nickname because one, they're really good at school, and two, they were disgustingly good without knowing anything about fundamentals. And it didn't take long for them to learn it either, they were really awkward when first playing too." Hiori gazes off in the distance, grappling for the right words. "They're just naturally good at a lot of things too."

In other words, you’re one of those freakish beginners with a freakish start and freakish development.

Smart and athletic, you truly embody perfection, if character was ignored. Perhaps you made a deal with god, your sanity and maturity in exchange for skills others spend years refining.

“Good at school and sports. Must be nice.” Isagi sighs. “I still don't understand logarithms...what's your secret?”

Hiori shrugs. “Study. You get it after doing it a lot. Just ask y/n.”

A groan comes from the shorter boy. “Forget it, genius’ don’t have secrets. I’ll practice.”

Rin scoffs. “And how long are you going to stand there, dumbass?”

Hiori whips around to see you grinning. “Go on go on, keep praising me please.” You take your seat again. “Don’t worry Yoichi, just send me anything you need help with.”

Isagi nods, hesistant but determined.

“You’re going to be fine. If I can do it so can you.” You open your bottle of royal milk tea after distributing the other drinks.

“Thanks but we’re not the same…”

You yawn, eyes watering slightly. “I too have failed tests before. They’re recoverable.”

Rin’s heard stuff like this before. “Like what? A 99 instead of an 100?”

“30 instead of a pass.” Hiori covers his mouth to stifle a laugh, even going as far as turning away (it only made Rin feel more embarassed). “I knew I was screwed so I wrote an apology on my test paper. And that is why, you people should trust me when I say you’re going to do great. Eat well. Sleep well. Practice consistently.”

Check, check, almost check. It can’t be too different from learning English.

Hiori slaps you on the back, loudly. “Quit yapping when we both know you already only do the first.”

“And you’re no better—” The volume of your speech is quickly turned down by the waitstaff’s presense. “Thank you for the food.” Effortlessly you switch from your annoying self to a polite customer.

“Rin, Yoichi, don’t think about exams too hard. We don’t even know the dates yet so you’ll catch up fine.”

Rin trusts Hiori’s rationality—and yours too (he’ll never admit it out loud), as his picks up his drink and brings it to the centre of the table midair, against everyone else’s.

“Excuse me—?” Hiori calls over a staff member. “Can we split the bill please?”

She smiles. “It’s already been taken care of.”

“We paid already?” Isagi’s perplexity was evident. “I don’t remember doing that.”

“And you’re remembering right, dumbass.” Rin was confused as well, but Hiori seemed to understand the situation perfectly. The moment the waitress left he almost pounced on you.

You were unfazed by the attack; effortlessly dodging it and grabbing your bag while doing so. “My treat! Thank you and well done for your hard work today.” Out the restaurant you go, followed by a mad Hiori, attracting a few concerned glances.

“Oi—come back you fucking idiot. Let me pay equally dumbass.”

“Wait for us—” Isagi scurries out of the diner booth, ushering Rin out to chase after them. “Hiori—!”

With a tired sigh, Rin follows.

Rin pockets his phone, staring out the train's window instead. You're seated in the seat in front of him again, a similar configuration from lunch, but with Hiori by his side instead of Isagi.

You peer at Isagi's screen. "Your team group chat actually looks fun. Can I join it?"

"It's called a team group chat, of course not." Hiori objects on Isagi's behalf. "We have our own, anyways."

"You either leave me on read and Nijiro only responds with emojis. At least Kurona's fun and sends shark pics." Rin begs Isagi to not surrender to your pleas, the majority of that group chat was already irksome enough.

"Maybe stop spamming it with your reactions to a show that's clearly too scary for you to watch at 1 am."

You retort playfully. "It's not spam if it's beautiful, intricate media analysis."

"What part of screaming about shirtless Ahn Hyo Seop says intricate, or analytical?" With the way Hiori snapped, the gentle boy in the library room was nowhere to be seen. You must have a talent for ruining others' composure.

"Appreciation, of art?"

You continue bickering with Hiori, Isagi as a poor viewer. Rin watches too, in a much calmer way while Isagi awkwardly observes your squabble (and thanking the train for being so empty).

Only when you get up to shake Hiori by the shoulders (a stupid resort in a stupid debate about actors and actresses), Rin bends over to reach for your bag, hand reaching for the zip, an ephemeral disappearance into your bag.

When you have enough of quarreling with Hiori, it was as if nothing happened, you plop back into your seat, not noticing a thing; Rin leans into the backrest, going back to gazing out the window.

TWO | MASTERLIST | FOUR

pairing. itoshi rin x reader

synopsis. all itoshi rin ever wanted was a peaceful high school career, his plans go to ruin thanks to the school's badminton genius; entangling their lives—and emotions together.

contents. rivals to lovers, badminton player!reader, sports romance, fluff, high school au

a/n. hardest part is always the fucking title i swear to god

taglist. @yuzurins, @silly-ez, @chigirizzz, @kaiserkisser, @httpshujii, @saesins, @yoimyas, @saetorinrin, @hxniplayz, @certaindreampost, @rroxii, @jar-03, @celestair, @satoruskitchenrag, @kaitfae, @biaonww, @hellothere9597, @its-ur-pillow, @saesofficialwife, @miyanaranagikenmal-intp, @popponn, @kascar-chronicle—bold means i cannot tag you

© kitorin : do not repost, plagiarize, change, or translate

[homelanderbutbig]

An Angel Waiting For Him (G/T Homelander x Reader)

1946 words. Pure fluff. Homelander is 8 feet tall. Reader is non-descriptive. Beginnings of a relationship.

When you first learned about Homelander's weakness to head scratches.

Homelander's been inviting you up to his penthouse more often lately. He's never really had friends before, let alone someone he can trust like you, so you figure he appreciates the company. As Homelander prefers to keep a tight schedule, your near daily visits happen at a regular time. It's become an enjoyable ritual of sorts, getting to see him and talk about your days together.

Truth be told, Homelander isn't sure what to make of you. You are so nice to him, but he's skeptical if he should let you get this close. The only humans he's been attached to are horrible people that he can't bring himself to kill… outside of Madelyn. Even though he loved her like a mother, she not only lied to him but she had been afraid of him throughout their whole relationship. Their entire bond was built on fraud… but he can never remove her entirely from his thoughts. He misses the way she provided him comfort, the way she let him lay his head on her lap… even if it was all just a lie.

During your afternoon break, you decide to spend some quiet time away from your co-workers in Homelander's penthouse. Although he isn't inside, he has given you permission to go there whenever you want. Walking into the tranquil silence of the penthouse, you make your way to the living room to lounge on his oversized couch. You tuck yourself into the corner of the couch, with your back on the armrest for the perfect view to watch the clouds pass by the window.

Just as you begin to feel at ease, you hear Homelander storming into the penthouse. His footsteps are louder than normal, a telltale sign that someone has pissed him off. He plunks himself on the couch next to you, with such a hefty thud that you are shocked his landing didn't catapult you across the room. Tilting his head back, he lets out an exasperated huff as he massages the bridge of his nose.

"Rough day?" you ask, sighing as you sit upright. Whatever uneventful break you intended to have is clearly not going to happen now.

"I can't believe I have to work with such idiots," Homelander grumbles, dropping his hand heavily into his lap. "These fuckers have no idea what I do for them, and yet they think they can treat me like I'm not the one in charge of my team."

"That must be difficult, feeling so used," you say, attempting to console him.

"Yes! Thank you!" he shouts as he raises his hands into the air, perhaps a bit more enthusiastically than he intended. "It's like nobody here understands how much I sacrifice for them. I'm just here to say my lines and make them money. I'm a real fucking person! I'm still the captain of The Seven, not them!"

After ending his rant, he looks down at you expectantly, like he is waiting for you to stroke his ego some more. It's what you've come to anticipate from Homelander, the one sure-fire way to bring him out of a sour mood. However, today you came up here for some peace and quiet. Possibly, you think a different tactic can help him unwind too.

"I'm sorry Homelander. I know how frustrating it can be to be treated like that," you say, looking up at him while you scoot a bit closer to place your hand on his thigh. "If there's anything I can do to help, let me know, alright?"

Homelander gawks at you, blindsided by your abrupt changing of the routine. You were supposed to tell him how great he is and how everyone else is wrong, so he could go about his merry way. Instead, your words are bringing up memories of Madelyn, and a thought pops into his head. One that he is uncertain that you would let him do with you.

With a wave of nervousness overcoming him, Homelander averts his eyes from you while clenching his fists and tensing the muscles in his jaw. He's terrible at hiding his feelings; you know there's something tumbling around that big head of his.

"You look like you want to say something else," you remark, giving his leg a gentle pat. "You know you can tell me anything, I won't judge."

"I, um…" he mutters, eye darting frantically before he closes them, trying to steady himself with a deep breath. "I… want to try something… if you, uh… if you'll let me."

"Sure, go ahead," you respond, nodding your head. You aren't quite sure what Homelander is asking for, but your curiosity is piqued.

"O-okay…" he stutters, keeping his eyes planted on the floor. "Just… please… please don't move."

Just as you wonder if you've made a mistake, you watch as Homelander shifts his body lengthwise across the couch to lie on his back. Slowly, he lowers his head into your lap. You're taken aback by the sheer size and weight of his head, which is so large it's practically overflowing on your thighs. It almost feels like you have a big fat cat lying on you, if not for the incredible anxiety you feel emanating from him. He looks like he's scared out of his mind, completely regretting this decision and just wanting to get up and leave. And yet, at the same time he is still like a statue, waiting for you to make the first move.

Trying to comprehend what he wants, you absent-mindedly start petting Homelander's hair, as if your brain is on auto-pilot and it believes the giant head in your lap really is just a fluffy cat. Lo and behold, you begin to understand what he was asking for as his stress evaporates from your delicate touches, his eyes fluttering shut as he sinks further into your lap. He lets go of a breath he didn't even realize he was holding, and further nuzzles himself into your hand.

From your first moment alone with him, you've learned how affected he is from simple touches. How he practically bulldozed you when he tried to lean his full body weight into your hands, like he was chasing after something he had missed his entire life. It was something that bewildered you; you've only ever heard Homelander speak of this perfect childhood and family he had, why would he crave affection so heavily?

When you start running your nails along his undercut, you are surprised to hear Homelander start keening, albeit very inaudibly. He's clearly enjoying your attention, but it's obvious to you he's fighting to stay quiet. Unexpectedly, one particular scratch along his scalp causes him to loudly whimper from the pleasure. He immediately freezes, and stares at you with the widest eyes you've ever seen. 

"I-I'm sorry…" he stutters, tears forming as he attempts to hide his face in your chest. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm s-sorry," he continues to repeat, eyes squeezed shut like he is terrified that he will be punished. Madelyn forbade him to make such pathetic noises on her lap, and she would only allow these 'sessions' when he obeyed her every word. He expects you will be the same.

"Hey, it's okay Homelander," you reassure him, still petting his hair. You hate seeing him so upset, especially when he hasn't done anything wrong. "That just felt good, right?"

Sheepishly, he nods as he turns slightly to peak at you with one timid eye, as if his entire existence is hanging in the balance of your next words.

"You don't have to apologize for enjoying that," you soothe him, using your thumb to wipe away his tears. "I'm happy that you're happy."

Homelander can't believe what he is hearing. Nobody has ever truly cared about his welfare before, and wanted him to just be content. Even Madelyn was only playing with his emotions to use him for her own personal gain. She never really cared, she just wanted to control him. It almost makes him feel stupid, placing Madelyn on such a high pedestal when there was an angel waiting for him this entire time.

He practically purrs as you resume scratching his scalp as you were before, except without this cloud of dread that was hanging over him. The fear Madelyn instilled in him to hide his satisfaction has miraculously dissipated, purely because of you. You, and your enchanted fingers, somehow adept at locating all of the sweet spots that he can't help but mewl at. Homelander nearly becomes overwhelmed by you, gripping at the couch's wooden frame so strongly you swear you can hear it splintering. There is something amazing about having a godlike superhuman giant whimpering in your lap, exclusively from the affection you give him.

Eventually, your fingers start to tire from the force you used in your scratches. As you go back to lightly petting his hair, Homelander opens his eyes to see you looking down at him with such care. The way you smile so sweetly at him is intoxicating, unlike how anyone has ever looked at him before. You are special. He wonders if you even realize that you are so far above the rest of the mudpeople.

Homelander rubs his head lightly into your chest, still keeping his vision focused on you. Compared to how frustrated he appeared when he first sat down, he now looks so serene, totally calmed by your tenderness. As you observe him, you begin to wonder something.

"Say, Homelander…" you start. He gives a light hum, noting that you have his attention. "How did you know I was up here by myself?"

"I could hear your heartbeat," he explains simply, still nudging at your chest. "It's the only one I listen for… It's… it's nice."

You aren't sure how to take that. Nobody has ever complimented you on the sound of your heart before. In a weird way, you are grateful that at least someone at Vought is keeping an eye out for you.

"When you were mad earlier… did you come up here just to see me?" you question, hoping to break through his real intentions of meeting you alone outside of your regular ritual.

Even though Homelander doesn't answer you, the ashamed way he avoids your gaze is enough for you to figure out his response. Somehow, you've become more than a friend to him; you're someone he wants to help him feel better, someone he trusts to take his hurt away. It's so sweet you can't stop yourself from smiling.

"Thank you," you say, caressing his cheek. When Homelander shoots you a confused look, you gently laugh.

"For trusting me, you goof," you grin, leaning down a bit nearer to his speechless face. "I'm happy that you're comfortable with me to talk about stuff that bothers you. I know how hard it can be to feel so alone."

"And if you want me to help you relax like this again," you remark, as you boop his nose with your finger. "I don't mind. I'm just glad to help."

Confounded by your genuine kindness, Homelander can feel himself start to cry again. He wishes he could hug you right now, but his whole body feels like it's been cemented in place, unwilling to move from this blissful position. All he can muster is to bury his face into your warm chest, relishing the comforting sounds of your pulse. Not even Madelyn's lap felt this welcoming, it's like your entire being is perfection.

"You're welcome Homelander," you tell him, bending down a bit further to give his head an awkward hug. "As long as you let me, I'll be there for you."

[minisugakoobies]

*cackles evilly* Um, I mean- *coughs and smiles*

How about Mr. Bahng with (getting pinned against a wall) and ("God, you’re making me so fucking hard right now.")? Because, you know, you were one of the culprits who sent me down delulu land for him? 😒🧃💕

AJ, my beloved, anything for you! I'm still not sorry about the Chan brainrot 😆 and I can't wait to dig into Spin You soon 💕

Title: Keep It Secret Pairing: Chan x Gender Neutral Reader Rating: M(18+) Genre: Smut, Friends to Lovers Warnings: dirty texts, sneaking around, implied sex

(Apologies for any typos, ya girl is buzzed) The thing about sneaking around behind your friends' backs is - you're supposed to keep it secret.

But as you sit at the restaurant table where your group of friends are toasting to Minho's promotion, you're starting to worry that the others are going to know that you and Chan have been fucking.

Mainly because you can't stop looking at the texts he's been sending all night:

Channie: You look so fucking good tonight

Channie: Did you wear that dress just for me?

You bite your lip, thumbs flying over the screen, hoping the others don't see you. Because if they catch you texting, they'll be all up in your business faster than lightning. Your friends are amazing, but they're also the nosiest fuckers you've ever met.

Which is why you and Chan haven't told them about the hookups. The nights spent in each other's beds. The afternoons on your couches, him as deep inside you as he can possibly get. They'd have too many questions, want to know about labels. Neither of you want to deal with that.

So you try to hide it.

You: Yeah, I did. You like?

Casually, you lean forward, reaching for the bottle of wine Felix graciously bought for the table. But really, you're just letting Chan get an eyeful of your cleavage as he covertly gazes at you from the other side of the table. His blond hair falls gently over his brow as he bows his head over his lap, where his phone must rest.

Channie: Fuck dessert

Channie: Gonna eat you up instead

His last text has you shifting in your seat, rubbing your thighs together, desperate for any sort of friction. Jeongin, sitting next to you, notices.

"You okay there?" he asks, tilting his head with curiosity.

"I'm fine! Just… been a long week. Ready to get out of here and hit the dance floor." That's the plan for the evening - dinner, drinks, and dancing. But you're hoping to find time to fit something else in.

(Or rather, someone.)

The waiter comes around with everyone's desserts. You scoop up a spoonful of Makgeolli ice cream. Everyone's attention is on Minho as he tells a story. Everyone, that is, except Chan, who watches with naked interest as you close your lips around the cold treat, eyes fluttering shut as the sinful sweetness hits your tongue.

The spoon comes out clean, but a drop dribbles down your bottom lip. When you open your eyes, you stare directly at Chan as you lick the errant drop away. Delicious.

Not even a half second later, your phone buzzes in your hand.

Channie: God, you’re making me so fucking hard right now

You can't wait a second longer. Rising, you smooth down your skirt, letting your fingers brush over your thighs, knowing he's looking.

"I'm just going to use the rest room."

It's probably not the smartest idea, with all of your friends here, to do this now. But two minutes later, when there's a knock and another text -

Channie: Let me in, baby

and as soon as you open the door, he pins you to the wall, you realize that even if they figure it out -

It's worth it.

Masterlist 💜 Find me on AO3 💜 

© 2023 by minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost.

[bookishtheaterlover7]

https://www.tumblr.com/fukyourmind/729723043722690560?source=share

Archangel ari watching his demon lovers and they wanna let him relive his stress after dealing with an irritating soul

Irritating soul is Mr freezy

We diving down into Ari's spicy side now! Let's do this, An🫶n!

Side bar, this happens sometime after, Lloyd and Ari are allowed to marry, Y/N. Bunch of drama before this happens, but I won't spoil it for y'all.

The thing with Ari is that sometimes, he's tightly wound... It's why Lloyd loves to mess with Ari, but not to the point of pissing off both him and Y/N (he made that mistake once, and let's just say blue balls weren't the only problem he had). But sometimes, his archangel duties really get to him, and the souls he deals with really grinds his gears.

His current charge is Robert Pronge, a real pain in his ass. The guy was a real piece of work, who somehow kept Ari on edge, and stressed. Even worse, is when he's enjoying a day in with the people he loves most in the world, and is grinding against Y/N's barely covered backside, as he and Lloyd caress, kiss and suck every inch they can reach. And he gets called away to deal with the little fucker.

"God... Not now..." Ari groaned against Y/N's neck. Desperately burrowing his face into the crook of it, while squeezing her lace covered mounds.

"What's wrong, Sunshine? Did our foreplay make you cream your pants too early?" Lloyd smirked, mischievously smiling at Ari.

"God, I wish!" Ari sighed. Slowly removing himself from the sandwich, with a few light kisses to his lovers.

"I'm being called away..."

"No! Ari, you aren't supposed to even have any form of work today..." Y/N pouted turning around in Lloyd's arms to face the archangel, as the top demon resumed his delicious torture.

"I know... But I'm needed, and I can't disobey Them. That's part of the conditions set, when they agreed to let me keep my powers and both of you..." Ari said, zipping up his jeans, and fixing his navy blue buttoned shirt.

"You sure you have to go, Levinson? Cause it'll be worth it..." Lloyd teased, cupping the apex of Y/N's thighs, making her release a borderline pornographic moan.

"Yes. I'm sure. I don't want to, but I have to if I'm to keep the possibility of our future." Ari sighed, cupping Y/N's face and kissing her deeply, and pecking Lloyd's cheek, as he was nibbling Y/N's ear.

"Carry on without me. I'll be back before you know it..."

~

"Jesus Christ, Freezy! I'm supposed to be on fucking vacation with my loves. And you just had to fucking make an escape attempt today?!" Ari exclaimed, definitely not happy with his Charge. The ethereal being was sexually frustrated and disappointed that he's missing out on vacation sex and aftercare, and so he's taking it out on the menace to his personal life.

"Oh, please. All you archangels ever do is stand around like idiots waiting for the next order. You have nothing more important to do, but be my little bitch of the afterlife." Freezy cackled.

"I'm not just an archangel now! I am married to two of the best creatures on Earth. And we will have a family, and no one, especially not some pathetic scum of the Earth will stop me from enjoying the life I have with them." Ari cried, using his archangel blade to send Freezy back to hell where he belongs.

With that done, Ari dusted the dirt and ash off of his suit, opened his wings, and flew back to their new French vacation home. Flying into the wide open patio doors leading to the balcony attached to their bedroom.

"Y/N! Baby Angel? Lloyd?" He called wondering where they could be?" He wondered. Walking through the home until he heard Y/N beckoning.

"Ari! We've got something for you..." She sang. Ari chuckled, and amusedly shook his head before following the sound of his girl's voice.

The scene before him stopped him in his tracks, the living room, with a perfect view of the Eiffel Tower, was covered in rose petals, Y/N's horny playlist was playing, the lights were set low to create ambiance, and in the center of it all, his succubus wife dressed in the most sinful of the lingeries he had given her as a gift, sitting on a golden chair, one hand in her hair, the other, slowly and teasingly inching down her thigh towards her center.

"We've been waiting for you, my sweet Angel." Y/N sighed. Her voice hitching up a little as she started to slowly, achingly play with herself.

"We?" Ari asked, before being dragged down to an identical chair directly across from Y/N.

"We, Pigeon. Took you long enough! Our girl has been aching to do this all day..." Lloyd laughed, strutting towards their succubus, and patting the back of her head, giving her lips a soft peck, and unlatching the strappy bra, that was covering he luscious breasts, and giving them each a teasing squeeze.

"You left in such... A hurry... Ah... I knew you'd need release..." Y/N sighed. The stimulation making her lose her breath.

"And so, our clever girl came up with the idea of giving you a show. Working you up to pound her sweet pussy, like there's no tomorrow..." Lloyd finished for her, pulling her up to her feet and bending her over the chair. Exposing her plump ass to Ari, who was slowly pumping himself, before slapping it. Causing Y/N to squeal and tense up, both hands desperately clutching the back of the chair.

"And by the looks of things... I think you'd like the idea..." Lloyd said with finality. Grabbing Y/N, and getting on his knees in front of her, roughly pulling her panties down, and sucking and kissing marks all over her ass, before diving down to drink her seemingly endless flow of juices. Allowing Ari to watch it all unfold, before getting a taste.

~

Alright you, horny fucks 😆 this is the weirdest way to start it but, eh, it's a process.

🎉Welcome to the start of my Hundred Follower Celebration!!!🎉

Over the next few days, my asks are open for any questions about me or my writings, or even about celeb tea. And while I will answer your asks. I will also be uploading a handful of fics, so stay tuned and let's celebrate!

Because y'all are the best for allowing and helping me to reach this many followers, when a few months ago, I had zero. I'm saying thank you, from the bottom of my heart. And I look forward to growing even more with you all ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[writing-for-the-gays]

ermm i have another request to make :3c if thats ok :3c

billy loomis and stu macher (both of em, in the poly way :3c) x reader with all of the specifications i had in my last request with uhmmmm :3c knife play :3c and predator/prey dynamics :3c

again, reader being fat nd hairy being central to the story :3c

also again, do whatever format and length you want ^_^

-🐛 anon

'Can I get a kiss? And can you make it last forever?'

Billy Loomis x trans male! Stu macher x trans male! hairy! reader

Again with these things being self indulgent, reader is a disk jockey and a radio host who spreads misinformation Abt the lads so they can fuck two serial killers for a lil longer .

Brought to you by ovulation and weed.

I'm a Stu fucker so Billy is a little neglected.

I read hairy and ran with it.

You can pry my trans male stu hc out of my cold dead hands.

I wasn't sure how to end it but I did it.

Up to my usual bullshit

- You were supposed to be a victim, a little bit of a trial run before everyone else.

- you were a generally quiet guy, they didn't think that anyone would really notice you disappeared. Save for the fact the news station would have to get a new host, but who even really listened to it. Billy and Stu definitely didn't listen to it.

-they probably should've though. Desensitize each other to it. But they didn't.

- so when they called you Stu's face instantly turned red and he hung up. Which confused the hell out of Billy. ("Stu, what the hell was that?!" "His voice, man! It's making my fucking head foggy-!" "Fine I'll fucking do it!")

- Billy wasn't any better, but at least he was talking to you unlike Stu.

- he's palming himself through his jeans just listening to you try to tell him off for calling, but then he starts talking about fucking you with a knife to your throat and you go quite.

- he keeps going and he hears you panting on the other end, and he doesn't assume you're touching yourself at first.

- but then you fully moan while listening to him talk about fucking you balls deep and he's not dumb so he can put 2+2 together.

- he asks what room you're in and you give it too easy (he knows where you are, he can see your shadow from the window.)

-and soon you have two strangers fucking you so hard you can't think!

- Stu finds out you're trans too and starts rubbing your t-dicks together, and Billy fucks into Stu's hand, and you watch as they make out and-

- you cum so hard you literally pass out.

- Stu thinks he's killed you, and honestly, if he had you would've died happy, but he didn't and so you wake up to a very concerned Stu and a cackling Billy.

- You're fine obviously. But Stu still tries to be gentle with you, Billy keeps teasing your t-dick though, more fascinated with it than anything else, it's different than Stu's bc he's gotten surgery to make it appear bigger so he's just seeing how it's different, and he finds out you're significantly more sensitive!

- you three become semi regular fuck buddies, and when the official killings start you pretend you have no idea who's doing them, you pretend that when stu and Billy come over covered in blood to fuck your brain out you don't almost cum in your pants.

- then fuck buddies become something more. Somewhere in-between that first call and being bent over the bed as stu pegged you and Billy fucked your mouth 6 months lster you'd fallen in love with them.

- in the heat of the moment as you come moaning their names you say it.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

"Fuckfuckfuck! Fuck right- right there please right there- Stu " your fingers sink into the sheets as you pull away from Billy, whose cum you'd just finished swallowing; mouth finally free to beg like the good boy you where.

"so good- so good Stu it's- ngh- haah please please more, need you to touch my cock~." The double ended dildo you were oh so familiar with fucked into you.

"Gonna cum- Please Please- Please-"

Normally you would fake it with penetration, there wasn't that much pressure in it... but with Stu- oh Stu was special, he knew exactly what to do with it, what to do to make your toes curl and your eyes roll back.

He denied your request with a simple scoff.

"No- not yet, I'm not even close, you can cum when I cum got it?"

You nod desperately, needing to submit to the look in his eyes. Filled with hunger, the urge to hunt. His hands travel up your body to your neck, resting on your Adam's apple.

Gently pressing down and cutting off your air Stu lets out an airy chuckle. "You don't even put up a fight... Fuck- don't even get the thrill of the chase with you, I just fuck you so good you forget that you're rubbing dicks with the big bad Ghostface..."

He grinds his hips, the dildo inside of you lets out a wet noise that makes your eyes squeeze shut and face go bright red.

"Fuck-! Pretty boy you're so wet, Jesus, it's the prettiest fuckin thing I've every seen, just glistenin' and shit-"

His free hand goes to your thigh, massaging the flesh and playing with some of the dark coarse hair that covered it.

He places his hand flat and plays with the fat on your thighs, watching as it jiggles with every harsh thrust he gives you. He admires the way they look powerful, dark hair covering your body, he admires the way you look different from him.

The way your body was covered in thick hair, starting from your face (a light stubble, and the starting of an already well maintained moustache)

to your chest (dark hair covering two mounds of mouth wateringly hot flesh, softer and bigger version of Billy's pecs.)

to your cunt (fuck the way your hairy cunt rubbed against his clean shaven one made him weak, he didn't know something like that could even turn him on that much.)

to your legs (You wore a pair of shorts mid summer once and both Billy and Stu couldn't keep their eyes off your legs).

Stu was thin and almost totally hairless, what hair he had was sparse and blonde, it hadn't changed with T for him, and he wasn't mad. He generally likes being hairless, a preference.

He was always at least trimmed if not fully shaved down there. (To show off his t-dick, that surgery was expensive. Wasn't as expensive as full Phalloplasty tho.)

A Twink in all regards making his big handsome bear fall apart on some silicone, it made his dick throb, twitching in-between his folds.

He locks eyes with Billy who's staring at you intently, focusing on the way you seem completely out of it, face flushed, mouth hanging open and eyes squeezed closed in concentration. Trying not to cum until you where told.

Your cunt flutters helplessly against the dildo in you, It's slick, not just with your juices but his as well, the double ended dildo didn't have any barrier to prevent your juices from mixing, or your t-dicks from grinding together with each thrust.

Billy's once softening cock perks right back up when stu brings his hand in-between your bodies to rub at both of your cocks. finally.

Your mouth hangs open and Billy doesn't hesitate to take the opportunity to thrust into your mouth, leaning over you to capture Stus lips in a heated kiss, tongues sloppily rubbing against each other as they use you. Billy's hands rests on your chest, running his fingers over the thick dark hair and massaging your boobs while playing with your nipples. He's not in your mouth long, mind you, still overly sensitive. He jerks off slow and steady as he watches you two.

Then you're cumming, eyes rolling back mouth hanging open. It's like your body is lit on fire, thighs jolting and quivering

you babble "Fuck! Fuck I love you- I love you your cock is so big- your so fucking hot, both of you, need-need both of you-!" Your hips are rolling wildly, right against Stu's clit. Which sends him over the edge face scrunching up before it relaxes and his mouth hangs open.

Billy comes on your face with a low growling noise slumping over as his cum decorates your cheeks his cock twitching with every shot of jizz.

After a moment Billy lets out a soft chuckle, breath heaving.

"Stu... I told you they'd say it first."

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

- you three are basically inseparable.

- the girls think you're just best friends, and considering the fact you're a disk jockey with the school radio station they don't put if past the boys to just be using you to play their favorite songs more often.

- you also did the morning news, and you always reported on the ghost face killings. Billy would sit under the desk and suck particularly hard on your dick if you said something that would throw the investigation off.

- Billy loves playing with your ass, he's such an ass man it's almost funny.

- he gets hard just watching you walk away. Especially if you have a particularly large ass. (His nickname for you is booty.)

- he just grabs a handful of your ass.

- both of them are constantly horny have fun trying to keep their hands off of you.

- y'all's sex playlist is mostly disco

[elsa-rain-world-stuff]

What got you into rainworld?

OHHOHHHOHOHOHOHO

It's been 2020, middle of autumn, i tired from playing same 3 games on repeat (hollow knight, sundered and undertale (? i'm not sure)) and looked in my steam library, in search for something i haven't played. I had i think 3 games i bought and never played, and Rain World was one of them. I had no fucking clue what is this game, i didn't even remember how i got it (i got it same year spring with 80% off, as my purchase history says). So i downloaded it and jumped right into, without watching any trailers or rewievs.

It was... something. I didn't expect anything, but i was surprised anyway. I had no idea you could pick different character, i didn't know you supposed to play as white slugcat, so i started as Monk.

First thing that surprised me is how HEAVY slugcat felt. Compare to Hollow Kinght where you can jump 10 times your height... yeahh. And second thing - controls, which i changed immediately, because i ain't playing on arrows! ALSO at the beginning i had a thought for a moment that maybe i'll get some upgrades, but even then i felt like it's not gonna happen

And after that i lost track of time. And when i woke up, it was 5 am and i was in shoreline. Then i was stuck in the first room of subterranean with centipedes killing me all the fucking time and i thought that i can't go back through the gates lol

I also remember miros birds breaking my overseer in meme crypts and how i thought that it was gone forever

This is my very first rain world screenshot (i didn't understand what to do with this flower and overseer seemed to point on it (at least it what i thought)

under cut there's a tonn of screenshots and some of messeges with my friend while i was playing. I had a friend, who helped me in the beginning. They played just a bit, but knew a lot about the game

october 10, 2020

Elsa Fogen 22:57 : Oh you can store food for the next day to spend all the time for exploration, neat Elsa Fogen 23:02 : So i was grabbed by that thing, that pretended to be a pole, but i managed to escape and it grabbed a lizard instead october 11, 2020 Elsa Fogen 6:57 : Fuuck, it's 5 am and i've been playing Rain all this time [Friend name here] 6:29 : How did you... Elsa Fogen 6:29 : I'm in the location with green wamter Elsa Fogen 6:31 : I was fucking flooded 3 times Elsa Fogen 16:13 : I'm fucking tired of these monkies They don't let me go through Fuckers

october 12, 2020

Elsa Fogen 18:11 : AAAAAAAAAAAHH FUCKING ELECTRICAL CENTIPEDES, I HATE YOU SO MUCH Elsa Fogen 18:14 : just fucking look how many times i died in the same room because of these fucking creatures

[Friend name here] 18:15 : Oh. Which location this is? Elsa Fogen 18:24 : trins where [Friend name here] 18:25 : no fucking way... Wait. WHY ARE YOU GOING THERE IT'S TOO EARLY Or wait. You have already been at Five Pebbles?!?! Elsa Fogen 18:27 : where???? I can't go back anyway......... [Friend name here] 18:27 : fuck... it's too early to go there/ Too early. Why can't you return? Elsa Fogen 18:33 : door was closed................... okay i get it all over again [Friend name here] 18:34 : nononno NO NO NO!!!! WAIT FUCK STOP WAIT WAAAAAAAIT DON'T RESTART LOTUS MOTHERFUCKER (lotus was kinda my roleplay nickname lol) DON'T YOU DARE Elsa Fogen 18:37 : wha how then [Friend name here] 18:34 : You talking about gates with karma? Elsa Fogen 18:38 : yes [Friend name here] 18:38 : Fuf... there... look. So you went through. You sleep one time. And you can go once again. Elsa Fogen 18:38 : 🤔

-----

Elsa Fogen 18:53 : Should i look for this thing?

Elsa Fogen 19:54 : What should i do here?

[Friend name here] 20:03 : GO TO SLEEP THEN YOU GO THROUGH HORRIBLE LOCATION TO THE WORSE Don't touch the flies Elsa Fogen 20:23 : And what if i touched them Elsa Fogen 21:43 : Damn it's so dark here

Elsa Fogen 21:54 : Damn there creepy creatures mechanical Elsa Fogen 22:40 : FUCK I SAW AN ART WHERE BROKEN VESSEL HAD THIS FUCKING BLACK-BLUE THING IN THE HEAD

[Friend name here] 23:01 : btw, you're ahead of me xD I just... i need to recover my nerves Elsa Fogen 23:05 : btw this thing that leads you can it be killed? [Friend name here] 23:05 : Yes. Elsa Fogen 23:05 : Fuck) I think mine was killed Elsa Fogen 23:10 : So what should i do if my thing was killed...... Elsa Fogen 23:15 : Are these things dangerous?

Elsa Fogen 23:24 : What a creepy fuckig thing

but it's neat i love their design so much i saw same things in the location with pile of monkies these fucking things annlyed me so much there was a lake and two of these fuckers lived there Elsa Fogen 23:56 : Fuck, can i kill this thing? It's sitting there and that's it............

[Friend name here] 23:56 : You can but.... MANY SPEARS. VERY MUCH. Elsa Fogen 23:59 : OMG OVERSEER, MY SUNSHINE

october 13, 2020

Elsa Fogen 00:00 : OH YES I MADE IT TO THE NEST [shelter] And i understood why the fuck these things for [grapple worms] Elsa Fogen 00:23 : THERE'S 3 OF THEM

Elsa Fogen 00:28 : That's what i call TOTAL FUCK UP

Elsa Fogen 00:31 : i lived Elsa Fogen 00:31 : is that a fucking infection

Elsa Fogen 01:03 : i n f e c t i o n

Elsa Fogen 01:23 : fUCK

Elsa Fogen 01:28 : ....how many spears i need to kill this you say?

[Friend name here] 01:28 : More than 10. :) Elsa Fogen 01:29 : too loose a concept "more than 10" more than 10 can be and 11 and 100 well, two already there ahaha....... [Friend name here] 01:28 : Well.... Hm...... Not 11... Well maybe 20 or more. Elsa Fogen 01:30 : now this sounds as threat of avengers level [Friend name here] 01:30 : One moment. I'll look up their hp. Ha.... Ha.... 200 hp.... Elsa Fogen 01:34 : ................... and how much damage spear does?? [Friend name here] 01:36 : ... [RW wiki screenshot saying how much damage deals every slugcat per spear throw] Elsa Fogen 01:34 : *HYSTERICAL LAUGH* okay i died already around ten times BY JUST FALLING IN THE FUCKING PIT

Elsa Fogen 01:34 : infected snot

Elsa Fogen 01:34 : f UCK i found the door, but it needs the highest karma AND I'M WITH THE LOWEST BECAUSE OF ALL THOSE DEATHS FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Elsa Fogen 02:19 : FINALLY FINALLY YES I WENT FURTHER OH MY FUCKING GOD I'M SO TIRED OF THIS PIT Elsa Fogen 02:21 : WAIT WHAT WHERE DID I FLY

IS IT BECAUSE I ATE TOO MUCH INFECTION? [Friend name here] 02:22 : Well it's... It's... If short, there's troubles with gravitation and... THERE'S MANY DADDY LONG LEGS ON THE WAY But first you have to bring around 4 flies to Moon)))) YES YES YOU'LL HAVE TO GO BACK BRING 2 FOR NOW There will be more further Elsa Fogen 02:25 : ah. these?

Elsa Fogen 21:11 : fuck this shit....

[Friend name here] 21:12 : ))))))) YOU'LL HAVE TO))))) Elsa Fogen 21:12 : no i'm leaving ahupzhvalvva [Friend name here] 21:12 : YEEEEES)))) YOU NEED THIS TO COMPLETE THE GAME By the way Moon quest is not necessary Elsa Fogen 21:14 : thank god

october 16, 2020

Elsa Fogen 20:59 : these fucking tentacles discourage all desire to play rain 🙁

Finding and translating all this takes fucking forever and after this point i moved to another chat and i don't know which one so let me know if you want to see more of this!!!!!!

LIKE REBLOG AND SUBSCRIBE FOR PART 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[fandomwe1rd0]

Wrote about Rick's guilt and the aftermath of the heist episode babyyy

TW FOR SLIGHT SELF HARM AND MENTION OF SUICIDE

I drove and my gaze kept falling to Morty, he was looking down at the floor with a frown on his face, now that little shit knows how I feel on a daily basis"The difference is that you deserve it. But you just traumatized this poor kid because you are an insecure fucker." The voice in my head sneered at me. God does it ever shut up? Another one chimed in "You should just kill him right here and now, he's Prime's grandson, you can stop him from continuing the Prime bloodline." I shook my head, jesus they never shut up. I tried my best to ignore them, it didn't really work, but I need to focus! I have a role to play "You know buddy...you miss 100% of the shots you don't take." Morty shrugged, his expression unchanging "I guess...thanks for staying positive about my prospects Rick..." I nodded "Of course! Y'know gotta help my grandson follow his dreams!" Morty shrugged again "Eh, who needs dreams? I'll just go on adventures with you and do whatever you wanna do y'know...forever." I couldn't stop the twisted smile that formed on my face, Rick and Morty 100 years. I wasn't going to let that go. I can't let the only thing keeping me from sprialing down a bottomless pit go. I wasn't going to let him go just so he could make a dumbass heist movie for 7 movie critics that have no life. I rubbed the back of my head, not forgetting the role I had to play "Oh well I mean sure...if that's what you want." Everything went according to plan. I'm not about to fucking lose him to Netflix, how pathetic would that be?This was fucked up, I knew it, I'm not a fucking idiot, but what was I supposed to do, just stand by and lose him? Let myself sink deeper because I don't have him by my side? Reminding me of why I don't just kill myself already? Watching him go away from me just like how Unity did? My grip on the steering wheel tighten at the thought. No. I wasn't about to fucking lose Morty. I need him.

We got home quickly and I was about to talk to Morty but he quickly walked away that little shit! I grabbed onto his arm "Hey, what's the rush?" Morty looked down with a sigh "C-Can I just leave?" He asked, his voice slightly cracking. I didn't realize that my grip on him tighten at the sound of his voice cracking. "Morty-" "Please?" I looked down at my hand on his arm, I was almost gripping it tight enough to leave a mark, I sighed and let him go.He left and I couldn't help but feel him difting away. No. Fuck no.

I ran to his room, already forming a plan to get him to stay, I tried to open the door but it was locked. I lifted my hand up, ready to bang on the door and demand him to let me in. But then I heard him sniffling. I stopped and continued listening in, pressing my ear against the door, I heard sobs rattle from his chest, I dug my fingernails into my hands, hoping to distract myself from the fact that I was upset by hearing that fucker, Prime's grandson, crying. I should be happy! So why the fuck was I not? "W-what was I thinking?" I heard his voice squeak between sobs. "I-I can't hold onto a single dream"

...

Fuck.

What was wrong with me? I felt my legs grow weak as I fell to the floor, my ear still pressed to a door "I-I can't be excited about anything anymore..."

I looked at my portal gun, I didn't realize my grip on it was so tight that it had a crack. I was such a piece of shit. Listening to my grandson cry after I ruined his dreams."You dumb piece of shit, this isn't your grandson, remember? It's Prime's. Remember him? The fucker that killed your wife? That made you into the monster you are now?

You can't even be happy to see you broke your worst enemy's grandson down to tears, pathetic."

I traumatized him. But I had to. If I didn't he would've left me. I need him. He's all I have.

"God you need a 14-year-old? You realize how pathetic you sound right? You can just get another Morty, why are you so irrationally attached to this one?"

I didn't have a reason for that. God must hate me. Out of everyone in the multiverse, in infinite dimensions, I just had to be attached to Prime's grandson. And hearing him cry wasn't helping my self-esteem get any better, but it's hard for it to get lower.

I took my portal gun and shoot a portal to Morty's room, I walked through it and saw Morty hugging his knees, sobbing into them. His sobbing was so loud that he didn't even notice that I came in "You can kill him right now. Do it. Do it. Don't be a fucking pussy."SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'm not going to kill Morty okay!? For chirst's sake."Why not? You can always just get another one. Why let Prime's relative live, you can always just get another Morty."

I can't. I fucking can't. I need this one in particular. I don't fucking know why but the thought of replacing him was out of the question. I need him. I don't fucking know why. I don't know why the universe played this sick joke and made me need my worst enemy's grandson instead of just being able to kill him, but I do. If God is real (which I seriously doubt) he's the biggest dick to ever exist. Next to maybe me."Who are you kidding? You know you're a bigger dick. At least God doesn't manipulate little kids so they'll stay with him. Fucking creep."SHUT UP! WILL IT EVER SHUT UP?! I ALREADY KNOW I'M A PIECE OF SHIT! I DON'T NEED A THOUSAND REMINDERS OF IT EVERY SECOND!I stomped on my foot, the pain makes the voices a little quieter and I sat on the foot of Morty's bed, I reached my hand out to him but before I could do anything, he looked up at me, and dove in my chest with very little hesitation. God this kid was like a puppy. So desprate for affection. "He wouldn't be doing this if he knew what you did. He would hate you. He probably does!"My body tensed up. I knew the voice was right but...I wanted to let myself have this.I wrapped my arms around him and nuzzled into those dumb soft brown curls, cursing myself for being weak hating how much it comforted me. As the word weak echoed echoed echoed through my head.Morty sniffled "Rick..I-I'm sorry for being so weak..." I couldn't answer. Couldn't let him know that I was the one that did this. That it had to be done so I couldn't lose him. The sick satisfaction I felt at pulling it off. "Th-thanks for being here to comfort me..." I fely my grip around him tighten as my stomach churned. He sniffed "I..I lov-" "Shut up." I spat out, voice gruffer than I intended. Morty flinched and looked up at me. I couldn't hear him say it. I didn't deserve it."The kid's lying. You're unlovable. Everyone knows it. He's a master manipulator, just like his grandpa. It runs in the family, why are you keeping him alive again? Because you 'need' him? You can't even keep yourself stable without pushing the responsibility on a teenager who's not even old enough to drive? God you're pathetic."Mortys dumb squeaky voice spoke again "I was just going to say that I-" "You never know when to shut the fuck up do you!? God you're so annoying!" I flinched when I realized what I said. Fuck. It happened again. I became an asshole without even consciously doing it."You're just an asshole. That's why you were such a dick. Why do you have to fuck up everything you touch? You fucking scum, infecting anytiing around you like a fucking virus."Goddamit it was right.

I was having a perfectly fine moment, and I fucked it up because I'm a fucking asshole. I fuck everything up. I quickly saw his eyes become wet again. I couldn't see this."What can't deal with the conquences of your actions? So you're not only a piece of shit..but a coward as well. Of course, that's why Diane died. Because you just stood there as the bomb fell to her feet like the pussy you are."It was right.I opened a portal to my bedroom, and just laid in my bed. I was too exhausted to sleep but when the sun came out, I couldn't find a reason to get off my mattress.

[muscari-melpomene]

Want, and Need

Chapter 3 of Counterbalance!

"It's supposed to be his job," said Anti sharply, and Dark sighed like he was trying to keep his temper, shutting his eyes for a moment. Anti was standing firmly in front of him, arms crossed, and no way in hell was he about to back down. "You said it was Wil's job to take them."

"It's not good for him to be there so often."

"He loves it there."

"That's why it isn't good for him."

"And it's good for you?"

"Anti," said Dark, opening his eyes to glare, "this-"

"If you tell me the fucking manor sucking your soul out isn't my concern, I will start screaming."

"I was going to say 'not up for discussion', actually."

"You fucker-"

"Anti."

"Don't," Anti nearly snarled, a glitch tearing down his back and fizzling out his words, "don't you dare use that bullshit on me, Dark. Why the fuck have you been feeding the manor, and why the fuck didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't tell you for exactly this reason!" Dark threw his hands up and turned away, starting for the stairs. "I didn't tell you because you're only going to do this, and there's no point telling you anything else about it because you won't fucking listen."

Anti glitched out and appeared in front of Dark, shoving him back into the living room.

"Do not walk away from me-"

"What else am I meant to do," Dark gritted out, catching Anti's arm and pushing him away before Anti could shove at him again. "You're acting like a child."

"I'm the child? Wil's the one who hangs on your every fucking word, who can't understand that not everything's a part of his stupid little game-"

"-And the longer he's at the manor, the worse his delusions get-"

"William," said Anti slowly, "is not. Coming. Back. He's gone. Wilford isn't going to snap out of being Wilford, that's all there is left of him."

Dark was silent, watching Anti with cold, hard eyes. Anti stared back.

"And even if he did come back," he continued, ignoring the high-pitched ringing slowly building in the corners of the room, "he wouldn't know you. He wouldn't want you. He wants Damien and Celine. He doesn't want Dark. He never has."

"...And you do?" said Dark, all cold calmness now. "You want the shells of them, crumbled and mixed into a new mortar and plastered over the cracks of a broken body?"

"I want-"

"And what do you want with that body, Anti? Do you want it to abandon the power that sustains it, to lie helpless on the floor for you?"

Anti shook his head sharply, pushing away the image. "That's not-"

"Do you want it isolated like one of your victims?" Dark demanded, moving closer, "no ties, no escape? A doll to keep to yourself? Or perhaps you want this forever, fights every night because I dare to have a priority that isn't you and you need the struggle, the suffering, the pain my divided attention costs me- am I nothing but misery for you to have your fill of? When do your teeth sink in to my neck, then, when do I wake up to my last morning with you to see you grinning and sated?"

"Stop," said Anti, voice ragged as he grabbed at Dark's shirt, "Stop, stop it. Please stop it."

"Why should I?" said Dark, head held high. He didn't push Anti away.

Anti tipped forward, letting his head fall against Dark's shoulder.

"...Every time you feed the manor," Anti mumbled, "you get further away from me. It might as well be you getting tossed in that fucking basement. I hate it. I hate it, it's hurting you. You're tired when you come back, you're... less of you. More of it. It's gutting you to make more room for itself, because who you are isn't what it wants you to be, you don't want to be like it, I know you don't."

"How would you know that?" asked Dark. His voice was still cold, still impatient, but it was... softening. Just a little. Anti took a deep breath.

"I know you have nightmares."

Dark stiffened a little, and Anti kept talking.

"You're good at hiding it. Really good. But you can't pretend when you're asleep. I see your face move, I feel you get tense, like you want to run... and when you wake up, you look like you just got back from giving it a fresh body. It wants all of you, and you're afraid. And I don't want your fear."

"Why not?"

"I need you."

"You need to-"

"I need more than feeding," said Anti tiredly, shutting his eyes. "I need you. You next to me. Your arms. Your voice. Your terrible fucking interior design choices-"

Dark huffed like he was trying not to laugh, and Anti stored it away to feel smug about later.

"-your rants about the dumbass dog next door and the lemon window upstairs, your pretentious, stupid filing systems, you, Dark, I need you. I want you. And the manor wants to take you away from me, and I'm not going to fucking let it."

A long, quiet moment passed. Dark's hand pressed into the small of Anti's back, and Anti did not cry as Dark finally curled into him, holding him carefully.

"I need you, too," he murmured, setting his chin on Anti's head and stroking his hand up and down Anti's back. "I want you, too. And I... I don't want it. But it will kill me if I don't let it in."

"It'll still kill you if you do," said Anti miserably, and Dark sighed.

"...Maybe. Maybe it will. But there's time to figure that out, alright? I'm not dying right now, am I? I'm right here. With you."

Anti finally unclenched his hands from Dark's shirt, only to wrap his arms around his boyfriend's neck, pressing closer against him.

"...You're here," he agreed. Dark nodded.

"I'm not leaving you. I don't want to leave you."

"Promise," Anti demanded.

"I promise," said Dark, without hesitation.

...

Chase kept his eyes shut, and hated every second of it. But this was- this was important. This was important, and if Henrik tried anything Marvin was right there to set him on fire. Marvin was good at fire.

Chase tried to focus on that, on the memory of Marvin getting startled by his own damn cat and setting the ceiling fan on fire that one time. It was better than focusing on Henrik muttering to himself as he took notes on Chase's last answer.

"...Alright," said Henrik finally, and the frenzied sound of scribbling stopped, "there is... no evidence that the connection has changed. Decreased paranoia does not indicate it has weakened, it is simply the natural progression of increased security in the absence of an attack. All that remains is to-"

"Do we really have to do this part?" Said Marvin, and Higgins yowled. Henrik sighed, agitated.

"Yes, we do. It's the most important part of this check-in, you are well aware of that."

"Then- then couldn't I do it? This once?"

Chase frowned. Marvin sounded more worried than usual.

I should tease him about that later.

"Were you possessed by the anomaly?" Henrik snapped, "Chase has the strongest connection to it, he is our best avenue of insight. Don't let your emotions cloud your judgement, Chase will be fine."

Chase tried very hard not to think about the word 'possessed'.

"You don't know that," Marvin muttered angrily. Henrik sighed again, more pointedly this time. Chase was pretty sure Marvin would throw hands with Henrik if he wasn't so scrawny. Henrik wasn't much to look at either, but he definitely had the height advantage. Marvin did have magic, though, and an unmatched level of pure, unadulterated spite, and honestly Chase would pay to watch him kick the shit out of-

"Chase, I said focus," said Henrik.

"Always ruining my fun," Chase muttered. Marvin snorted, and Chase could feel Henrik holding back one last sigh.

"Reach out to him," Henrik commanded. This was the part Chase hated. He'd had his eyes closed through the whole questioning process to help disengage from his body, because if he was too present, too connected with what was happening around him, he wouldn't be able to...

...to feel Anti. And the others needed him to, needed any information on Anti they could possibly get. They needed him to do this, and it was all he could actually do for them, and damned if he was going to keep all of them trapped because it scared him. Damned if he was.

Chase took a deep breath, and reached out.

"Chase," said Marvin, half-frantic from where he knelt in front of Chase, "Look at me- can you hear me? Chase, can you hear me?"

"Why'm I on the floor?" Chase mumbled thickly, frowning stupidly at Marvin. Marvin was on the floor with him, holding him by the shoulders, looking ready to pass out with relief.

"Because you fell," he said, voice sharp with what sounded like anger but going by his expression was worry. "You went still, you started crying, and you fell-"

Marvin turned to glare up at Henrik, eyes glowing faintly green.

"You said he'd be fine."

"He doesn't look hurt," Henrik shrugged. "Chase, would you mind getting up?"

"Fuck off, Henrik-"

"He's miserable," said Chase slowly. Marvin looked back at him, frowning. Henrik tilted his head. Neither of them spoke. Chase swallowed. "Anti," he clarified pointlessly, "he's... he's miserable. Feels helpless. Angry, but not in a 'killing people' way. He's usually happy when he kills people, actually-"

"Chase," said Marvin, squeezing his shoulder, "we should get you to bed."

Henrik paused in his frantic note-taking to glare at Marvin.

"...Yeah, actually," said Chase after a moment, "that'd be... yeah. Sorry, Hen, I'll- I can write it all up for you later."

Henrik pressed his lips together, clearly frustrated, but nodded.

"...Alright. I had better pack up, then."

Marvin helped Chase off the floor, and Chase tried to shake off the last of the suffocating, cloying, helpless anguish that had rushed in on him from all sides. Higgins brushed against his ankle as Marvin guided him down the hallway and into the office he'd usurped and turned into- well, it wasn't really a makeshift bedroom anymore. It had been over a year. He was probably officially Marvin's roommate now.

"You're hovering," he told Marvin as the other herded him to the bed. The mattress felt softer than it had been that morning.

"You gave us a fright," said Marvin. Chase grinned up at him, and Marvin folded his arms.

"What."

"Knew you cared," Chase teased. Marvin went pink. Gods, he was so fucking easy.

Higgins jumped up onto the bedspread and curled up at Chase's feet purring loudly, and after a moment Marvin relented and sat on the edge of the bed.

"...are you alright?" he asked softly, and something flipped over behind Chase's ribs.

Not the time, Brody, really, definitely not the time.

"I'm fine," said Chase, only lying a little bit. "It's... they're not really my emotions, and I only feel him in- in my head for a moment, so... I'm fine."

"You were crying."

"Can't prove it."

"Chase."

"Marv," he said, taking Marvin's hand and doing his level best not to think about it, "I'm fine. I'll be fine. You should go make sure Henrik's not doing any bullshit out there, okay? I'll be fine."

Marvin hesitated just long enough for Higgins to meow impatiently.

"Fine," he said, dropping Chase's hand to stand up, "alright, I probably should see him out... I'll bring you some tea, alright?"

"Thanks," Chase hummed, giving him a smile. Marvin nodded sharply, and left. As soon as the door shut behind him, Higgins climbed up to settle on Chase's chest, purring loudly and nuzzling his head into Chase's shirt.

"Good kitty," said Chase, voice cracking halfway through. He took a deep, shaking breath, burying a hand in the cat's fur. "Good kitty. Thank you."

[dreamties]

Ruined Worlds - Michael Myers x Gender Neutral! Reader

A/n- This was a request. Michael comforts you after your friends bail on you (again).

Word Count: 1,270

T/W: Swearing, it got lowkey a little spicy but it's just kissing <33, hurt/comfort. not a warning but mikey knows ASL in this 😏

Michael is paralyzed when he sees you. 

He’s comforted you in the past. He knows he’s capable of helping. But there’s something about how you’re seated in the living room that stops him.

You usually go to him or lay in bed with a cup of tea. You stay in the living room. Your phone sat idly on the ground, a large crack splitting across the screen. He can hear you sob into your hands, even though you cradle your face in your own rough embrace and against your knees (which are pulled up to your chest). Your whole body shakes as you let out a loud, frustrated noise. 

He’s never seen you in such a visceral state. He can almost see your hands tightening, till your knuckles go white. He’s afraid you’ll hurt yourself. 

Michael quietly sneaks in through the back door, approaching you behind the couch. He goes to tap your shoulder, wake you from your trance. 

“Fuck off. I hate you.”

Well, that wasn’t very nice of you. He had not expected that reaction. He takes his hand back to his side. He walks around to the front of the couch, standing in front of you. He reaches one of his big, rough hands to your face, prying your hands away.

You flinch at the sudden contact. You hadn’t quite realized Michael was in the room with you. 

Oh- oh no. You hope that he didn’t hear what you said.

You don’t mean to, but you’re still pissed with your previous situation, so your voice comes out snappy when it should be soft. Your voice is always soft towards Michael. 

“What do you need?”

Michael tilts his head at you. Your hands are caught in his own now, but you stubbornly glare at him before looking away. 

You can feel his eyes like an oncoming headache at the back of your skull. 

“I said; what? What do you need, Michael? I’m not in the mood for games right now.”

He reaches his other free hand to your face again, holding your chin between his index and thumb. He pushes your face towards him. Calling your attention to him. He waits till you’re finally looking at him and he can sign: what’s wrong?

You furrow your brows, your eyes still spilling tears, staining your cheeks. Your voice is smaller, choked, "what?"

"I-I'm fine. Mikey, baby, I'm okay." You attempt a smile, but all Michael can see are the tears welling in your eyes. The view from the window earlier, your shaking form. 

He shakes his head, so slowly, so invisible, that you can hardly see it. He holds your shoulders, thumbs pressed hard into your skin. It sends a rippling effect of shivers through your body. 

"It's just, fuck , Michael. I'm sorry. My fucking friends , they just. I had been so excited to see them and- I can't believe I was so stupid. "

He tilts his head.

"And, I know you're not gonna care. It's- whatever. You, just. I'm sorry. They just, we made plans, okay? We made plans and those fuckers just bailed on me! It's fucked up. I'm upset! Can I just be fucking upset?"

You can hardly contain your cries. Michael shouldn’t have to deal with you . . . like this. 

You were supposed to be more of a- a rock. Someone, that if Michael ever wanted to tell you what was in his head, could go to. And you were just- so selfish. He had better things to do then stand there, watching you ball your eyes out over nothing . 

Michael nods his head. He moves the coffee table out of the way and kneels down to the space in front of you. He closes his eyes, pausing for a brief moment, in thought. He taps at the edges of his mask, drawing your eyes back to your boyfriend. He brings it slowly off. His hair is a mess- you notice this first- there’s visible snarls and strands go every which way but in their natural curl pattern. Then there’s Michael’s bad eye, and the scar running past it. He’s got the smallest bit of stubble at his chin and old, faded scars.

Michael almost never takes his mask off, and never in a way to so deliberately bare himself to you. You get so lost in his face you don’t process at first what’s going on. Michael’s tapping his mask against your hands, in a gentle, careful way. You take it, and hold it in your lap. You quirk your head at him, like he’d done so many times before.

Your eyes still well with tears and you absolutely should wipe them away, but you have Myer’s mask in your hands- in your lap . You have to take care of it now. You give him a small smile. A croaky laugh. “Thank you.”

He smiles, uninhibited. He brings his hands up to yours, begging for you to let go of the mask. That it was okay. You give in. You allow him to envelop you in his cold caress. He leans up, kissing your cheeks, the corner of your eyes. Kissing the tears till they disappear on his lips. Till you’re giggling underneath. Till you clutch his hands with all the might you can muster.

You still seem a little upset when he pulls away, but it’s deeper, behind your eyes. It’s not on display any longer. He wishes it wasn’t there at all. 

He signs, I love you and I’m here.  

He signs, I’m here , again. He tries to emphasize the “I” part of it all, that he was there. Not your stupid friends. 

“Thank you, Mikey,” you give him a sad smile, and lean in to touch your nose to his. You’re slow to move in, drinking in all his features. “I was being silly.”

He shakes his head and surges forward, kissing you with a rough passion. It nearly knocks you back. “No.”

You move to speak again, Michael’s hands shushing you, running along your body. “Have every right to be upset.” Between kisses on your collar, and shoulders and chest. 

You place a hand against his chest, he doesn’t stop, but his movements slow down. He cocks his head at you, confused. He keeps kissing your neck. Waiting for sounds of approval. 

“Can we do this some other time?” You whisper. As he withdraws his movements, you retire your hands at the back of his neck, clung on to the fabric of his jumper and gray tee. You rest your head against his chest. 

He seems to get the memo, finally seating himself beside you on the couch. He pulls you into his lap, allowing you to cuddle into him. To breathe in his warmth. He gives nothing more than a second glance at his mask, discarded to the side. 

You seemed so content simply in his presence. He lets you run your hands through his tangled locks. So methodic; so therapeutic. He thinks about stalking your friends after work, and killing them where they feel safest, while you look at him with the softest eyes and kiss his cheek and hold his hands. You switch back and forth between different calming tasks. Playing with Mikey’s locks- they’re getting long, sort of like a mullet; picking at the dirt in his nails and admiring the strength amidst the mass of such things; cuddled into his side, doing nothing.

He couldn’t help you with your friend problem, per se. But he could be there. He could physically be there, when they fucking couldn’t.

Oh, baby, how he would ruin worlds for you. 

[suiana]

OH BOY I'VE BEEN WANTING TO TELL YOU😭 Okay so like the first day this motherfucker shows up he is instant asking me to buy him lunch, and like I've joked about it with my supervisor before so I was like 'haha no, I'm not buying you lunch haha' like all fun in games, lunch time rolls around, I'm waiting for my food and this fucker shows up like 'so what'd you get me?' And then he says that I owe him??? For telling him to do his JOB? but I refuse to buy him lunch then he gets pissed off like bro??? What the hell? Not to mention that he just guilt tripped me into buying him lunch like twice. (Not to mention the fact that he gets paid MORE than me, because he works longer and more days than me. Because I'm still in school, I can only work weekends, while he skips school and works an hour longer than me.)

Anyway, when we started to work together I told him what to do (because he was being fucking TERRIBLE at his job) and he started to sorta make fun of me for it (ex. 'I can't believe that someone smaller and younger than me is bossing me around', and for context I'm 5'1, around 95-100lb, and a year younger than him, so he's jus making fun of me now,) and like at first I was like 'haha... please do your JOB' and he simply REFUSED to do it. As a housekeeper, I have a fairly simple job, just make all the beds you can before you get off because I'm too small and lanky to do the actual job. The time limit is like, 10-15 mins, fairly easy if BOTH of us do it. I take around 7 mins to make one bed, but he takes FOREVER.

Just. Make the beds. That's all.

But he gets whiney and all mad and acts like a kid, 'my legs hurt', 'I don't wanna do that', 'can't you just do it for me?' Like I'm his mom. So on the first I just told him to look at the open rooms and stripe the beds, then come back and help me out.

.

.

.

He didn't come back. After I got done making like, 4 beds, I go to the room he's being lazy in and see him sitting on the couch, on his phone watching funny videos. The next day, he does the same thing. It keeps going on for like, 5 weeks. Each time he does it, our supervisor always gets on him for it. Then this week comes.

We went into different rooms to make the beds because there were only 3 rooms and I did 2, so like he did 2 beds and I did 4...

If he did do that room. Not even half way through, he comes in like 'hey, there's a tip, what do I do?' And I'm confused because I'm sure he already knows what to do with tips, but I just told him to either hide in our cart or put it on our coworkers cart, he says 'oh, I'll go put it on her cart' and I'm like ok, that shouldn't take you long...

It took him until after our break for him to come back. that's a whole 35 mins. Then he keeps doing it. 'I gotta go to the bathroom', 30 mins before our lunch break. Doesn't show up until I'm already 20 mins in my lunch break. Supervisor asks him why he keeps disappearing, he says he isn't, before he then says 'I couldn't find her cart'...

My cart was right in the open, you could see it if you looked past the elevator hallways. Then, right after our break, he disappeared again. The supervisor asked him why again and he says some more bullshit.

Then he leaves because his grandma came to pick him up. Turns out, he never did drop off the tip and our coworker never knew she was supposed to get it. Came in today and my supervisor told me that he lied and that I should just hide the tips from him when we work together (we didn't today, he went to work with someone on the ground floor, where they do custodian work) which confused me because the place we work has a strict policy, if you steal a tip then you can get fired and even go to jail.

At this point I'm wondering if our boss is his grandma or something because he kept bragging that the only reason he has this job is because his friend is the boss's granddaughter... like it was something to be proud of...

Idk, he's just been pissing me off so I've been a little mean to him (nothing too bad, just ignoring him...) so I'm wondering if I'm an asshole😭 -Pretty Anon

no ur feelings are valid, ur coworker sounds like an ass

u should get all ur other coworkers to mass complain him or smth, maybe it'll do something HAHAH

if not, i hope he starts being more responsible because dawg... he gets paid more than u and he's mot doing anything??? 💀💀💀

[dzpenumbra]

11/3/22

I'm still watching Dan Corrigan's video from today. It's nuts. Here, I'll link it, fuck it.

That should be at the time stamp. So I heard him say this while my phone was in my pocket while I was talking the cat litter out to the trash can. It was about him mentally prepping to hop on this massive 20 stair rail. Like, about how he mentally preps to do this.

Like it's about the psychology of overriding your survival instincts - guess what fuckers, that's anxiety, that's panic, that's PTSD, that's depression. He's talking about how you interact with your primal impulses, your primitive reptilian brain, the core of the brain near the brainstem. Your... wow, okay, feel like I'm getting a meta-unlock (aka piecing together all the shit I've learned about psychology and anatomy and stitching them together the best I can, connecting the dots). Your peripheral central nervous system is like everything your sensory nervous system throughout your body feeds to you. Sensations, smells nope actually not... basically just like physical sensations and muscle/organ control, right? I guess? And that's like... your entire body south of your neck. So.. right at the core of the brain the ways of thinking start blooming in complexity, right? Like... simple thoughts at first - like impulses, hunches, alarm systems. Like super basic intelligent organism thoughts - feed, fight, flee, friendly?, fuck. Just the basics. The shit that some people apparently just can't evolve past, I guess. And then from there out the thoughts start growing in complexity, adding in personal experience, opinions, identity, preference, narrative, shit like that. The human element, what really breaks us away from the animal pack. Possessions, personality, our story, our ego, our identity. What makes me Me, not Human #155,972,805,589. Our soul.

The hardest thoughts for the central nervous system, the front-brain (as I call it), the one in charge... to really regulate and control are the base animal instincts. Like "if I jump down that staircase, I'm going to hurt myself. It's like... 94% certainty." Sometimes it can express itself in a sentence, but when it's most powerful it's more like being possessed in a horror movie or something. Like you just can't move your leg. You freeze. Like sleep paralysis. And that one is fuckin spooky. I don't like freeze. Not at all. Not a fan, some people are cool with it, I am just like... I really don't like it. I'll take flee any day. I'll be a pussy, I'll run away from a guy with a knife, duh. I'll start bawling my eyes out and begging, I have no fucking shame about that. I fucking love life, I will sacrifice my dignity and humility for the ability to live another day and experience the wonder of nature, that's not even a question. I will never fight in that situation. I'm going so far out on a tangent here, I'm reeling myself back!

Okay I'm gonna explain what just happened, I'm pretty damn high, right? I'm sure that's a bit obvious... (self-consciousness expresses itself so bluntly) but I took my boxspring out from under my mattress and laid it against the wall on its side across the room from me. I wanted to sleep closer to the floor for Max so she didn't have to jump up and down, with her hips and all. And maybe to firm up the mattress a bit and try to help my hurting back. And Max just bolted up the boxspring all the way to the top, clawed at the top, then scratched her way back down. Like bolted up. She's 16. And that's the third time I've played with her today. She's a fuckin animal, man! This med is supposed to make her lethargic! I'm hoping this is the joint supplement and the hyperthyroidism med kicking in. It doesn't mean I'm stopping, of course. She's got a full course to do to level out hormone production, I understand that much. But I'm hoping it's a good sign. And it scared the living fuck out of me. While talking about panic situations. XD

I wanna keep going with this video! I just really wanted to paint a picture of what the panic instinct is, and how anxiety is sort of an extension of it, a peripheral cousin? I guess? But like... still the same part of the brain, I think. There's a mouse in the wall behind my head, or a chipmunk, I dunno. Welcome to my life. Nature is active this morning! So what they're discussing is how to get that fucker to take a back seat. Not just your insecurity about not looking cool while riding, not just your anxiety of maybe hanging up your trucks on coping in a minipipe, not just being afraid of catching your nose in a fast nosemanual. We're talking "if you jump down that, you could die. You could snap your neck and just fucking die." A gut feeling. How to override that. It makes me uncomfortable just thinking about it. But it's the kind of thing that will allow me to finally be free of the crushing, compelling grip of my fear. So let's watch a bit more and take notes, because if you're not some enlightened being or something, you probably need to work on this in some area of your life, too.

A - Build up adrenaline - build up excitement, brute force, power through it. Overrides your instinctual self-protective barriers by overpowering them with excitement, hype, enthusiasm? I don't know if that's the word. But it is not precise, it makes mistakes, it doesn't think clearly.

B - Focus and Mellow - analytic, slow, logical. Dismantles the inner barriers by reducing the need for them to be around. Calming the body, but also reassuring the mind by challenging evidence. Comparing the run-up to other run-ups. Breaking the trick into parts, so it doesn't look as big. It's just a rail, you're only like 2 feet off the ground at all times, just think of it as a long flatground rail, but its just tilted on an incline. Shit like that, maybe? They haven't talked about his mental process. Focus and Mellow is more present, more reactive, but much harder to just pull the trigger and hop on. Much harder. I think, at least.

That first attempt was fucking terrifying, but he kicked out at exactly the right time, like damn. I had to play it back and watch again, check it out. You can do , and . to go frame-by-frame in YouTube. You're welcome. Check out where he is when he bails the first try, like how far he has to go to the ground. So that's like 6 stairs, that are the width of like... twice that, because those stairs are like twice the length of normal stairs. So thats like... say one stair is one foot deep, these are like a foot and a half. So that's like 9 feet out and if the stairs are about 5", that's like 2.5 feet, plus the rail height is probably another 2-2.5 feet? So he's jumping down like almost his entire height and out one and a half times his height at that speed. That's just batshit nuts.

Now if you wanna see something cool, go frame by frame and watch what he does with his body. He has the clear training, but also presence of mind, to turn his back the direction he's going mid-air, brace impact briefly with his feet to soak some of the blow but shift his weight towards his ass to pad the fall, lands seated, and watch his hands. He pushes himself with the fall. He knows how smooth the cement is, it's an advantage to him. He has all day to get rid of that momentum, to dissipate that speed, he doesn't have to take the full blow of it all at once. Then his hands go behind him to steer and make sure he doesn't hit the table or chairs or anything. Which, of course, he does... But he hits with the side of his back and easily deflects. He's prepared.

His instincts have been trained to work for him. He's been in this situation before. Probably many times. Falling this way is not new to him, he has a plan. He knows how to do it safely. You can visually see it in the way his instincts move his body. Now play it back full speed, to remind yourself how fast this thought pattern is, and because of that, has to be instinct with basically... conscious thought supervision.

Jesus, at 20:38, he's literally talking about what I was saying earlier about the rail! Haha! I wonder if I overheard it earlier and rolled it back or if we really just came to the same logical conclusion? That's a trip!

Yep, and the next slo-mo attempt you can see he does the same fall-backward technique, but much later this time because he slid farther. Yeah I think his weight was too far backwards. He looks like he's just standing on his heel edge the whole time and when he gets to the end it's like... feels like it's begging to just slip out. Like he's too far in the backseat, so he bails when he knows the landing wasn't gonna work out. And hit another chair. XD Just move the damn tables!!!

Holy shit, that next one was nuts. That's what I was talking about slipping out. The smooth pavement is so fucking good for building and carrying speed, and for sliding out and not tearing your skin to shit when you bail. But it makes landing at high speed really scary. You can just oil slick out over nothing on reaaaal smooth stuff. I used to skate tennis courts in the rain when I was real young, like 14 or 15 and just powerslide for days. That's what happens when you land on low friction shit at speed, it's like landing on ice. So watch that landing again, it even looks like he's landing on an ice rink. And that time he might've been a little too far forward with his weight, compensating for the last try. Oh he said it was a crack, that makes sense and adds a whole other level of "oh shit" to the next try.

Another one too far back, I think, and the same bail. That's the bail I need to learn, for real. I better start practicing soon, I can practice it snowskating honestly and it would be really easy to carry over to skateboarding. Ding ding, we got a plan. Alright back to the video.

That's another thing, shit. So if you were just gapping the stairs, you would be losing momentum, right? Like... wind resistance and shit? Like you clearly need to be hauling ass, but you wont be landing the same speed as the grind or slide because they're actually gaining momentum as they ride the rail. That's a new thought for me, that's gotta make it so much scarier.

Wow. The make was insane. Fucking strangers walking by clapping, even they get how absolutely insane that was. FIRST THING HE SKATED THAT DAY. Oh good lord.

Dude, okay, hearing him talk about it, he's skated this rail before. That's insane. Like, he wasn't satisfied skating it once. Landing one trick on it. He came back. That's fucked. XD

No one understands that reference, Dan. XD I'm kidding, I've never been that deep into like knowing every video and every skater and all that. I know a bit, but it's not like... a goal of mine. Never really has been.

Well I guess this turned into "<me> Reacts To Today's Dan Corrigan Video", so thanks for watching with me. Be sure to like and subscribe! I learned a lot about psychology and skating physics, good habits to get into both mentally and physically. Remember that brute forcing through anxiety, panic, self-restriction is not the only method, and brute-force can be clumsy and prone to failures. Focus and Chill can be used to reduce self-defense mechanisms too, it just can take more preparation, take more time and patience, take a lot more faith and willpower, and be harder to pull the trigger and just leap when it's time to jump off the bungee jump platform. But Focus and Chill, I think, is a better choice and should be aimed for. Like, brute force should be reserved for urgency, I think. That shit can get addictive and is a bit self-abusive by nature. Like, brute forcing your own defense mechanisms down every day? You're dishing out the exertion to lower those mechanisms, and you're expending energy trying to keep the defenses up. You're overpowering yourself, but... you're overpowering yourself. You're beating up the person who's holding you back and keeping you safe, that person is you. You're beating yourself up, okay? So... just be chill. And when you're feeling unsafe, anxious, worried, nervous, terrified, doomed, anything in that hue of emotion... try to focus on gathering information and try to maintain focus to keep your thoughts clear. Be present. "Okay, what do we do, what are our options here." And come up with a plan that will do. Find something that the primal executives will at least hesitantly sign off on long enough to lower the force fields and let you give it a shot.

That's a great example of what skating can teach you. If you can overcome the insecurity of always comparing your abilities to others. If you can bypass that (I still struggle with it). And get to the meat and potatoes of what skating is. Standing on a board with wheels strapped to it, that you can slip out on at any moment, and just toodling around and having fun. Every moment skating is a potential injury. So is walking to the store. You're bipedal, that shit is not the safest form of locomotion, okay? You're only good at it because you practiced it. Babies suck at walking. So if you can be okay looking like a beginner because you are a beginner, then just get over it, wear the pads or whatever and start setting goals. "Today I want to ride on the board while it's moving", "Today I want to ride from this line in the parking lot to the next one", "Today I want to learn pushing", "Today I want to go down that hill". All progressive risks. All pushing the boundaries of what you feel comfortable doing. All requiring A or B from earlier to disarm your survival instincts and let you skate comfortably. Every step forward, every progression, leads to new opportunities, new barriers, and new levels of comfort. This is very visible in skating, it's really the core of skating, I think. It's a purely creative sport. You don't see a lot of skateboard races, though I'm sure people do it.

Can you apply this lesson that skating displays so clearly to... art? Yep. Get over "I can't draw that" and go try it 20 times. And ask questions about what you're doing wrong every time. And listen to the answers and try to understand them. You will improve. That's how it works. Same with an instrument. Play. Try. Listen to what you did, get a recap, take notes, make tweaks, try again. It's a very valuable life skill, it applies to everything really.

For me, I need to use it with social anxieties. And I'm struggling a lot because they were already very powerful, and they are just saturated with both past and recent trauma. So... once trauma and social anxiety mix, shit gets a bit rough for me. So productivity is nice, accomplishment is nice, things are going great work-wise right now. But I really need to make sure I make time for Calmness. Stillness. Peace. Focus. Meditation. I should start another mandala soon. And listen to music while doing it. Or at least a geometric design. And guess what. That's exactly where I'm at in the hoodie! I got the crow done today. It looks sick. I'm very happy with it. Next I'm going to do a geometric background under it... so... I have to figure out what I'm going to do. I was thinking several overlapping mandalas, like flowers kinda. I think it could work. But another part of me wants to do a uniform tessellation. Idk, I guess I'll do some sketches tomorrow or something. This hoodie is getting less and less stream-of-consciousness as I go along, and that's okay. I just need to keep momentum with it.

Oh, and I had a good idea for these clothes. I've been really worried about clothes fading... like the medium and the design fading over time with wear and tear and washing and stuff. Well... I mean... if I'm treating the rest of the process like tattoos, why the fuck am I not treating that part like tattoos? Tattoos fade. Like... duh... I think I should offer touch-ups. Just like I would for a tattoo. Like offer a deal on it, but still charge. And if you're a regular, like you have 3 pieces of clothing by me or something? Then I'll do it on the house. Or if it's a small simple piece, of course. But if I'm putting like 10+ hours or like multiple sessions into reinking your clothes... I mean I'm basically just drawing it like a 4th time... so... I'm sorry, I want to be cool, but I'm gonna have to charge for that. It's tedious work and the ink isn't free. But I think this could take a lot of the pressure off to get it perfect the first time, and reduce the pressure of absolute permanence too.

Super excited with how things are progressing. I still have to figure out calling this car guy and guess what. It's 8 in the fucking morning again.

I'm going to sleep.

[soldiertransgender]

oh i can think of plenty of things that will make myself or others feel bad though ^^

(btw i went. Off. in the tags. just so you know faskldfjsjf)

[rainydayotomes]

Collar x Malice reacts to "How about you rearrange my guts?" meme

Based off of this post on reddit, hehe.

-----------

Yanagi

Yanagi.exe has stopped working

You look at him with a smirk playing on your lips, and watch as his face goes 50 different beautiful shades of red

You can literally see the gears turning in this man's head as he tries to process what the actual fuck you just said to him

After a moment he sighs, and just shakes his head. Now he's the one whos smirking....

"I thought I did that last night? Or, was that not enough for you...?"

Enomoto

You texted the poor lad during your lunch break, and you swear you could hear his shriek from the rooftop where you ate your lunch

"(Y/N) are you ok?!!?!?" he texts back.

"Yeah, why?"

"What do you mean by sending that?!?!"

"What do you mean what do I mean- I mean what I said"

"But that

but

but..."

Yeah congrats, now you're gonna have to order a new Enomoto

They're $15 at Walmart right now, better hurry!

He literally doesn't respond for the rest of the day

But when he sees you in person at the end of the day, his face erupts into the deepest blush you've ever seen and he can't even look at you

"If that's... uh... really what you want..." he sharply inhales, before continuing "Then I, Mineo Enomoto, will fulfill your wish!" He says as he strikes a pose

On the outside he appears alright

But on the inside his organs are currently melting from the heat deep within him...

Sasazuka

"Are you sure you should be saying something so lewd in public?"

This man always loves to startle you

You weren't even suppose to meet up today, and yet here he is at this crosswalk, leaning and looking over your shoulder like he had before (see: collar x malice unlimited)

"Takeru! Why do you always have to startle me!? T-T"

That fucking shit eating grin he's wearing right now just makes you want to push him off you

"It's not my fault you don't pay attention. You should be more aware of your surroundings, especially if you're trying to talk dirty in public."

"But it was a text-!"

"Doesn't matter."

You feel him peck your cheek before he removes himself from your shoulders

"If you're really in heat that badly, then wait for me tonight, dumb cat. Your master will give you a treat." He says with that same shit eating grin before he walks away

Okazaki

It takes the man a moment to reply to your text

"Will do! c(ˆ▿ˆc)"

wat

"Uhm Kei?"

"≧◉ᴥ◉≦"

"You're just.... not gonna say anything else about it?"

"Should I? (づ￣ ³￣)づ"

"Well uh... no, I guess not?"

"Alright then ( ＾◡＾)っ ♡"

Shiraishi

The two of you were meeting up tonight, because Shiraishi was allowed to go home for the weekend

You had let yourself into his apartment to wait for him and noticed some things had changed

Most notably, some of the usual things that were out, like some books on the coffee table and whatnot were currently nowhere to be found

So you sent him the text, smiling to yourself as you wondered how he'd take the joke

After a few minutes, you're alerted to his response

"That was the plan"

WHAT

"Why else do you think everything has been put away? Make yourself ready, I'll be there soon."

WHAT DOES HE MEAN 'MAKE YOURSELF READY'!?

"You're joking right?!"

"Nope." And with that, he sends a sly little cat sticker

Fucker always knows exactly what he's doing, doesn't he?

Fuck you Shiraishi

but also I love you

Bonus: Saeki

It had been a long, long time since you had last been in Saeki's small ass apartment

It's always been messy, but tonight it seemed a lot more organized and tidy then usual

So you joking recited the meme

He stops, and turns to you with huge eyes

"What!?"

You laugh at his reaction, which just makes him look like a kicked puppy

"Don't say things like that, or I might get the wrong idea... I'm still hopelessly single, you know."

I can change that no you are NOT saying that. no. stop it. bad.

Out of everyone, Saeki reacts the calmest, and doesn't take it seriously

....or so you think

When you're out of the room, he mumbles to himself as he's deep in thought

"So that's what you're into, eh (Y/N)...? Maybe some day I'll be able to treat you to your desires...."

[kiridarling]

𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓.

request | Can I have royalty au (soon to be king bakugou) (and soon to be queen reader) , katsuki and reader are supposed to be getting married (not to eachother) but they end up sneaking around and doing IT with eachother so top!kats , exhibition , begging , dumbification and spanking THANK YOU💞💞

this lovely request was submitted for the kissing booth event (the rest of the drabbles come out soon, ahem :)) so, if this was your request, um...hAHA whoops.

katsuki bakugou | f!reader, royalty!au, infidelity, nondescript!fiancés, angst (gasp), fingering, exhibitionism, dumbification + more! minors dni!

— 3.7k words

“C'mon, princess...can I make you feel good once last time?

You're getting married.

No more ignorance is bliss, no more I didn't know any better—this is when you put all your childish antics to the side and fucking woman up, now in charge of the safety of your kingdom and its inhabitants and whatnot. So yes, you must snuff all your adolescent tendencies, and that includes sleeping with the Crowned Prince of the neighboring kingdom behind your fiancé's backs.

But, boys are stubborn. And stupid.

Ding ding ding!

"Excuse me, Everyone!" Your fiancé announces to the crowd in your dining room as he stumbles to his feet, spoon clinking against his glass. He nearly trips, but no one sees except yourself. "I would like to make a toast."

You frown. This wasn't a part of the rehearsal dinner.

"First of all, I would like to thank you all for being able to be with us tonight," he says, shoving the glass higher in the air. As red wine splashes over the rim, you think to remind him that isn't a toast, it's the beginning of a speech, but your comments have rarely deterred the man in the past. "As you’re all aware, this marriage is vital. Not only for our kingdom, but for the neighboring kingdom as well."

Your fiancé regards the Bakugou’s with a lift of his chalice. In the coming weeks, two arranged marriages will melt the four most influential kingdoms into two, and your fiancé and his family had the genius to throw a massive Gala to celebrate it. You wouldn’t be surprised if they got off to the idea of stretching themselves so thin their hair falls out at age thirty; they won’t even allow you to choose the type of dress for your wedding.

"I would also like to thank my lovely, lovely wife, for just being so... lovely.” Your fiancé chuckles, accompanied by an uncomfortable massage to your shoulder. The guests find amusement in how whipped he is as he gazes your way expectantly, conceivably wishing to see you swoon at the compliment. All you give him is a blank face. His elation falters.

"You know, when I first met this woman, I knew she was going to be the love of my life," your fiancé shakes your glare off. You purposely block out the rest of his story in favor of folding and unfolding your napkin again, puffing under your breath at the cheesy comment.

"Sap," you grunt to yourself, obviously. You don't expect anyone to hear, but there's a snort to your right. Your eyes lift from your lap—and straight into Katsuki's smug blood red ones. He winks at you from across the table and your eyes roll at that, though there's a small smile playing on your face that's impossible to hide.

"Isn't that right [Y/N]!...[Y/N]?"

You blink yourself back to life, eyes reluctantly leaving Katuski's hypnotic ones for the pair that make you nauseous, "Oh—u-um, yep!"

The place bursts in laughter and there's even a little smile dancing on Katsuki's face. He catches you staring so your eyes divert to your lap, but his remain a physical force against you for the rest of the night.

*selene — the greek goddess of the moon

The balcony is much nicer than the ballroom.

For one, it's the farthest place you could have gone from the commotion, all the way on the opposite side of the castle. It's a solid five-minute walk when you aren't in heels and a heavy petticoat, but it provides a lovely view of your front yard, subjecting you to watch the early-sleepers leave in their carriages to call it a night. Meanwhile, *Selene watches you from her telescope the moon with a sigh and a sad smile, because she's the only one who knows how completely and utterly alone you will be.

You glare at her—the goddess doesn't waver.

Bitch.

It's no secret that Gala’s like these get overwhelming—especially when you're the center of attention. You see Lord Shinsou (Earl) stuff the eager Lord Kaminari (Baron) into his silver-plated carriage before looking around to ensure no one saw, and blanche upon seeing your figure stood on the balcony. You salute so he knows his secret is safe with you, and relief washes over his face before he too hops into the carriage. What a scandal, you giggle.

Plenty of couples resign home after that; it makes you uneasy. You're unsure as to why, but you have the ever-increasing urge to nip at your fingernails until you don't have them anymore, and jamming the sharpest point of your heel into the concrete seems like the only proper way to release enough kinetic energy before you explode.

"He loves me."

He does, embarrassingly so—so what's the issue?

There isn't an issue; there shouldn't be. He reminds you how pretty you are and you compliment his influence. Neither of you are marrying down. You look good together. The kingdom's future power couple if you will, where you two supposedly mold the great future in your peculiarly young hands. There isn't an issue. You're the one for him, and he's the one for you.

The balcony door whines open. You don't turn around, praying whoever it is will see that it's occupied and turn the other cheek. Yet, the stomp of whoever's boots only grow louder until you’re adjacent to a shadow of a being, his chin lifted towards the stars. You catch a glimpse of blond hair, though dyed a pale white by the silver moon, and you two stand in a strangely comfortable silence, watching carriages roll out of your driveway.

The silence doesn’t last for long, though. It never does.

"D’ya always go disappearing like that?"

You frown. "What?"

"I don't fuckin' know," Katsuki grumbles—he has yet to look at you. Seems like Selene captures more than one person's attention tonight. "Blinked and you were gone."

Your frown only deepens, and you return your attention to the courtyard. "I didn't know you were paying attention."

The ash-blond presses his forearms against the railing for support. "I wasn't. He was."

Oh.

"Said he wants you to come back, so," Katsuki clicks his tongue, carmine red eyes finally flicking your way through the darkness. You don’t dare look at him. “You run off often, or what?"

"Tell him I'll come back in a second," you sigh, balancing your face in your hand. Katsuki says nothing, but he doesn't leave, and you hate that you don't mind.

Until he points towards a couple crossing the lawn and says, "Oi, that's the Duke from my fiancé's kingdom. Fucker tried to poison my dad for the throne—straightened him out real quick.”

"Why are you talking to me?" You snap like a cornered animal. Katsuki lifts an eyebrow.

"What? I can't have a goddamn conversation?"

"I—" your chest rises and falls with a reason to why he can't, but you can only come up with one—and you don't want to think about it.

"Listen. I don't like these things either, alright?" He huffs defensively, so defensively that you have to take a step back. "If I have the opportunity to get some fresh air, I'm gonna fuckin' take it."

You shrug, supposing it makes you one and the same. The wind blows, not harsh, but harsh enough to ruffle your gown, and make the gold jewelry decorating Katsuki's tunic jingle.

“So. I guess this is it, ain’t it?”

You sigh, “Katsuki, you know we—“

"Yeah yeah, that's all you fuckin' say," he growls bitterly, and you blink in a poor attempt to find where the animosity came from. His face twists in an ugly way as he sits his hands on his hips, nose scrunched to mockingly pitch his voice that doesn't sound like yours at all. "We can't, we shouldn't—"

"Because we shouldn't!" You nearly shout, and Katsuki jumps from how quickly you raise your voice. "Because—because if we get caught, we're fucked. And I can't go to sleep terrified that I'll wake up to an exposé tomorrow morning and get beheaded by the afternoon. So...please. Just stop."

Katsuki clicks his tongue.

"You don't love that asshole."

Your throat feels tight—much too tight to be comfortable, and your chest rises and falls with disbelief as you search for the words before you can talk again, eyes never dropping from the stars. You've had this conversation, fuck, you have it too often; often enough to know that he would say those exact words, and enough to know precisely what you'll say in response.

"I love him, Katsuki."

"No, no you fuckin' don't," the ash-blond chucks a laugh and it's nothing short of acrid, his words eating away at your skin more than you'd like them to. You sigh, resting your forearms on the railing too.

"I'm not having this conversation with you."

"Always gotta be so goddamn emotionally unavailable, huh?" He growls, glare set on the mountains presented in front of you. You feel his suit jacket hit your freezing shoulders, unaware of the cool temperatures until you feel the cloth brush against goosebumps. It’s your turn to laugh bitterly.

“Careful. People might think we’re getting married to each other.”

“One day you’ll let me fuckin’ live,” he grunts, and your eyes meet for the first time. His usual red is dyed a deep purple by the moonlight, their usual hardness traded for something much softer. “Can’t even give you a jacket when you’re shivering like a goddamn leaf in the wind.”

You give him a look of utter exhaustion because you’re tired—tired of all this running around and hiding, the secrecy. It eats at your insides like a caterpillar does a leaf, knowing that you go to sleep every night to a man who’ll barely touch you, but at the same time, feeling guilty that you don’t need nor want him to.

“Why are you here?”

Katsuki clicks his tongue. His warm body settles behind yours, close enough to feel the warmth but not close enough to feel him. “You looked lonely.”

“I thought my fiancé told you to get me?” You ask, raising a suspicious eyebrow. Katsuki rolls his eyes, his arms settling on both sides of yours.

“He did. But I didn’t refuse the damn request either.”

“You saw my loneliness all the way from the ballroom. What an eyesight,” you scoff. Katsuki’s eyes narrow, but it’s clear he’s fighting a grin because you’re a little shit who loves giving him a hard time. The ash-blond’s chest rises and falls, and he bites the inside of his cheek.

“You know what I mean.”

You snort, tilting your head to the right. You suppose you do.

“And I’m marrying a bitch,” he adds to his list of grievances, his hands finding yours to gently play with your fingers. You nod in agreement. A bitch she is.

“And...I’m really going to fuckin’ miss you.”

It might as well pass for nothing but a breath, eyes trained on your held hands. His chest suspends like he has more to say, but his teeth tear at the inside of his cheek before he can. “I—fuck, I get it, okay? I’m a selfish asshole—“

“This doesn’t have to do wit—“

“And I really, really need to get my fuckin’ priorities straight. I mean, they are, just not in the way they should be.”

“Hey,” you chastise, shaking his hands for his attention. “You can’t control who you love, okay?"

Katsuki grumbles at that but you refuse, turning around to look him in the eyes.

"And neither can I.”

You let go of his hands in favor of pulling him down via his cheeks and giving him a big fat kiss on the lips. It’s peckish and brief, but it’s sweet and gets your point across. It's comfortable.

“The hell was that for?” Katsuki asks once you pull away. Though you see him struggle to hide a grin, eyes squinting more than they should.

“Easy,” you say, stepping forwards (as if there’s any space for that), “You looked lonely.”

Katsuki snorts, dropping his head, “Bastard.”

“And I’m being married off to an asshole,” you lament, pulling his face so close to the point you’re sure the strain on his back has got to be anything but sexy. He accommodates anyways—Katsuki always has; and night seems to suspend along with his baited breath as he waits for the next line, eyes shining with a painful hope you’re about to confirm.

“And I’m really, really going to miss you,” you say, shaking your head at how utterly true that statement is. Fuck.

The vulnerability slowly fades from his eyes at that, and Katsuki hums, clammy hands finding their rightful place around your hips.

“You shouldn’t call him an asshole, you know,” he says, face inching so close you can smell the champagne on his breath. “He means well.”

“I didn’t know you cared,” you quip back, raising an eyebrow. Katsuki shrugs, and you don’t realize he’s backing you up until your back kisses the cool railing.

“Well. I can’t help but feel a little bad,” he says cheekily as he inches closer, “‘Cause I make you feel so good, don’t I, Princess? Last time I checked, better than he ever could.”

You scoff at his audacity though it’s all good-natured, eyes preferring the moon over his heated gaze as he turns you around to face the courtyard.

“Ah, ah,” he tuts, redirecting your attention using a finger on your jaw, “Eyes on me, Princess. You look really fuckin’ pretty under the stars, y’know.”

You snort at the compliment, rolling your eyes.

“‘M serious. A fuckin’ goddess,” he growls, leaving wet kisses up the column of your neck. Your breath hitches as he reaches your sweet spot and sucks, and you’re swatting him away before he can leave a mark.

“I sai—“

“One last time, Princess,” he bargains lowly as his hot hands slide their way from your waist to your breasts, taking their sweet time. Katsuki hooks his chin on your shoulder. “Lemme—Can I make you feel good one last time?”

You’re nodding with a whimper before you can berate yourself for being so fucking easy, the thought of not being able to indulge yourself with this, with him, any longer tosses any and all resistance out the window.

“Good,” Katsuki hums, tweaking your nipples through the bodice. “‘M gonna pay you back for being so good to me, yeah? For puttin' up with all my shit."

You scoff, mouth dropping to tell him you weren't putting up with his shit, but then a warm hand lands on your thigh—somehow, he's found a way under your dress. The hand slides up inner thigh and you feel Katsuki's chest shudder against your back as he finally reaches where you need him most.

"K-Kats—"

"Shhh, you don't want them to hear us, do you?" He grunts, pulling your panties to the side. You shiver from the change in temperature, watching another Duke and Duchess of half-drunkenly stumble into their carriages for the night, before there's a crack of a whip and hooves beat towards the exit. It's only a reminder of how painfully exposed you two are—one glance towards the balcony and any onlooker would know exactly what's happening. You hate it.

You hate that you don't.

"Atta girl," Katsuki purrs, groaning as he inserts a finger. You shiver, the weight of his being practically trapping you against the railing. "Always so fuckin' tight. I swear that asshole never fucks you right."

Katsuki's never been an impatient man and fills you with a second finger awfully fast, chuckling when you bite into the meat of your palm to hold back a whimper. His hips start to grind against the puff of your dress and he groans as quietly as he can, carelessly shoving down the sleeve of his suit jacket to bite into your shoulder.

You let out a broken moan much too loud for this time of night and it prompts Katsuki's free hand to stuff an equal amount of fingers into your mouth. "Y'know, something tells me you wanna get caught. You want the whole world to know how much you fuckin' hate that bastard, huh?"

You choke as Katsuki slides in a third digit next to the second, the slap of his palm against your pussy becoming nothing but obscene as your slick accentuates the sound. His hips speed up against your ass and that's enough friction to have the ash-blond groaning, along with the spit that drips down his forearm.

"So dirty for me, Princess," his hips stutter when you push back, tongue laving over the bite mark you'll probably have to conceal in the morning. Asshole. "You wanna cum like this, don't you? You're gonna cum all over my fingers in front of the entire royal court. Dumb little girl, can't even keep her mouth shut to keep us from gettin' caught."

You jam your heel into the balcony concrete so hard you positive it cracks before you're coming all over Katsuki's fingers, nearly choking on the ones in your mouth as you release the loudest broken moan you have that night. Katsuki's hips stutter against you and you're positive he's filling his boxers from the airy moan that follows, and his hand goes limp in your mouth before it slides out completely.

Your chests balloon in unison, his body draped over yours, and as you two catch your breath under the moonlight, you can’t help but think how much you’re going to miss this.

"Run away with me."

"I—" he does this. He always does this. He makes you feel on top of the world, acting like everything's fine, and then he pulls this shit on you. You look everywhere but him, nearly scoffing in disbelief. "Katsuki—"

"C'mon, Princess," Katsuki scrambles to flip you by the waist until your back is flush against the railing again and he’s cradling both your hands in his semi-damp ones. There’s a look in his eyes you don’t like, and it makes your chest burn. "Across the sea, people are movin’ over there and I—I know someone there, okay? Someone we could stay with, maybe help us get back on our feet an-and I found a fuckin’ ferry guy to take us across, and I can even pay him a little extra, o-or you, or—"

"Katsuki," you give him a sad smile, squeezing his hands tight. There's hope, too much hope in his eyes and it's fucking blinding. "Running away? I—this is—we have an obligation, we can't jus—"

"It'll be fine," he insists, stepping forwards and squeezing you back twice as hard. You sigh."I—the two kingdoms can merge or whatever the fuck they wanna do and then we'll be—"

"Katsuki."

"I—fuck Princess, I don't beg but goddammit, I'll do whatever you fuckin' want, get on my knees, I ca—"

"You really want to know what I want?"

Katsuki freezes. It's the first time you've ever seen some semblance of emotion in him that isn't anger or lust, with carmine red irises swimming in unshed tears—and fuck, you hate the sight. You want to shoot yourself in the fucking foot for what you’re about to do, but it’s for the best. It always is.

"Love her."

Katsuki looks at you, and his face drops, chest shuddering.

"I can't."

You drop his hands in favor of holding his face, thumbing at the hot tears running as they fall. God, Katsuki’s pretty—too pretty for his own good and he doesn’t even know it. His unsteady hands find themselves massaging your ribs and your foreheads knock together. "You need to try. Love her as much as you love me, yeah?"

"'S fuckin' impossible," Katsuki says with a wet snort, shaking his head with eyebrows raised. You giggle, throat impossibly tight.

"Almost, then? For me."

Katsuki’s red eyes stare at you through the darkness. You have half a mind to look the other way, but you figure you owe him this if nothing else, and as he lovingly absorbs your being under the moonlight for the last time, you really wish you could take your words back.

"I'll...fuck. Fine. I'll try." Katsuki resigns with a shrug, shaking his head. You two sniffle in unison and you suppress the strange urge to pinch him. "'M not gonna try to get over you, though. Sorry, not sorry."

You roll your eyes at that but it's all good-natured, followed by a choke you struggle to hide as his arms coil around your waist, "Then I won't either."

A genuine grin spreads across his face, and it’s borderline giddy—and a stark contrast against the waterworks. "She finally fuckin' admits it."

"Figured it was about time," you give him a wobbly smile before your eyes flicker to his, red blurring from being so close. Selene looks upon both of you with a reminiscent sigh.

"I love you, Katsuki Bakugou."

Katsuki sniffs before he laughs; it's wet, and near bitter, and he pulls you so close your face nearly shoves into his chest. "Fuck. Fuck, you're an asshole, you know that?"

"This is when you say it back," you bargain, squishing his cheeks. Katsuki presses his forehead deeper into yours.

"I love you too, Asshole."

He speaks with a softness you've never heard and it's like a gunshot to the heart, and as his lips inch closer to yours as your hands slide to thumb at his ears. One last kiss wouldn't hurt, would it?

Until there's a whistle and the click of footsteps. You and Katsuki jump a mile apart.

"Oh, [Y/N]! You're still out here in the cold?" Your fiancé asks with a raised eyebrow, but it seems like that's only an afterthought as he turns to Katsuki to say, "Your wife’s found the alcohol."

"Great," the ash-blond groans, understanding the translation—your fiancé is piss drunk in the ballroom.

"I do recommend you take her home. She's making quite a mess of the eclairs. And her face."

Katsuki heads inside without giving you a second glance, and your fiancé gives him a solid pat on the way in before turning to you halfway through the doorway, "Are you coming inside, Darling?"

"In a moment," you say with a smile. Your hand never leaves the railing. "Just getting some fresh air."

"Alrighty, then. I'll be in the bedroom. Waiting~" he winks, and with that, he's spinning on his heel, and you're alone with the moon again.

You watch Katsuki guide his inebriated fiancé into the carriage lovingly, with a smile on his face that isn't quite the one he wears with you but close enough, whispering whatever pleases her at the time with a chaste kiss on the cheek. You feel comfort in knowing that he has someone to love and someone to be loved by. He doesn't look your way—not once.

It's not until they drive away that you realize you still have his suit jacket draped over your shoulders. You don't doubt he did that on purpose, either.

Asshole.