#i can't explain properly why and how much it's important. it really isn't in a big scale but yknow.

[jellyloveru]

i'm goinbg craze))))

[eyrieofsynapses]

why Aurora's art is genius

It's break for me, and I've been meaning to sit down and read the Aurora webcomic (https://comicaurora.com/, @comicaurora on Tumblr) for quite a bit. So I did that over the last few days.

And… y'know. I can't actually say "I should've read this earlier," because otherwise I would've been up at 2:30-3am when I had responsibilities in the morning and I couldn't have properly enjoyed it, but. Holy shit guys THIS COMIC.

I intended to just do a generalized "hello this is all the things I love about this story," and I wrote a paragraph or two about art style. …and then another. And another. And I realized I needed to actually reference things so I would stop being too vague. I was reading the comic on my tablet or phone, because I wanted to stay curled up in my chair, but I type at a big monitor and so I saw more details… aaaaaand it turned into its own giant-ass post.

SO. Enjoy a few thousand words of me nerding out about this insanely cool art style and how fucking gorgeous this comic is? (There are screenshots, I promise it isn't just a wall of text.) In my defense, I just spent two semesters in graphic design classes focusing on the Adobe Suite, so… I get to be a nerd about pretty things…???

All positive feedback btw! No downers here. <3

---

I cannot emphasize enough how much I love the beautiful, simple stylistic method of drawing characters and figures. It is absolutely stunning and effortless and utterly graceful—it is so hard to capture the sheer beauty and fluidity of the human form in such a fashion. Even a simple outline of a character feels dynamic! It's gorgeous!

Though I do have a love-hate relationship with this, because my artistic side looks at that lovely simplicity, goes "I CAN DO THAT!" and then I sit down and go to the paper and realize that no, in fact, I cannot do that yet, because that simplicity is born of a hell of a lot of practice and understanding of bodies and actually is really hard to do. It's a very developed style that only looks simple because the artist knows what they're doing. The human body is hard to pull off, and this comic does so beautifully and makes it look effortless.

Also: line weight line weight line weight. It's especially important in simplified shapes and figures like this, and hoo boy is it used excellently. It's especially apparent the newer the pages get—I love watching that improvement over time—but with simpler figures and lines, you get nice light lines to emphasize both smaller details, like in the draping of clothing and the curls of hair—which, hello, yes—and thicker lines to emphasize bigger and more important details and silhouettes. It's the sort of thing that's essential to most illustrations, but I wanted to make a note of it because it's so vital to this art style.

THE USE OF LAYER BLENDING MODES OH MY GODS. (...uhhh, apologies to the people who don't know what that means, it's a digital art program thing? This article explains it for beginners.)

Bear with me, I just finished my second Photoshop course, I spent months and months working on projects with this shit so I see the genius use of Screen and/or its siblings (of which there are many—if I say "Screen" here, assume I mean the entire umbrella of Screen blending modes and possibly Overlay) and go nuts, but seriously it's so clever and also fucking gorgeous:

Firstly: the use of screened-on sound effect words over an action? A "CRACK" written over a branch and then put on Screen in glowy green so that it's subtle enough that it doesn't disrupt the visual flow, but still sticks out enough to make itself heard? Little "scritches" that are transparent where they're laid on without outlines to emphasize the sound without disrupting the underlying image? FUCK YES. I haven't seen this done literally anywhere else—granted, I haven't read a massive amount of comics, but I've read enough—and it is so clever and I adore it. Examples:

Secondly: The beautiful lighting effects. The curling leaves, all the magic, the various glowing eyes, the fog, the way it's all so vividly colored but doesn't burn your eyeballs out—a balance that's way harder to achieve than you'd think—and the soft glows around them, eeeee it's so pretty so pretty SO PRETTY. Not sure if some of these are Outer/Inner Glow/Shadow layer effects or if it's entirely hand-drawn, but major kudos either way; I can see the beautiful use of blending modes and I SALUTE YOUR GENIUS.

I keep looking at some of this stuff and go "is that a layer effect or is it done by hand?" Because you can make some similar things with the Satin layer effect in Photoshop (I don't know if other programs have this? I'm gonna have to find out since I won't have access to PS for much longer ;-;) that resembles some of the swirly inner bits on some of the lit effects, but I'm not sure if it is that or not. Or you could mask over textures? There's... many ways to do it.

If done by hand: oh my gods the patience, how. If done with layer effects: really clever work that knows how to stop said effects from looking wonky, because ugh those things get temperamental. If done with a layer of texture that's been masked over: very, very good masking work. No matter the method, pretty shimmers and swirly bits inside the bigger pretty swirls!

Next: The way color contrast is used! I will never be over the glowy green-on-black Primordial Life vibes when Alinua gets dropped into that… unconscious space?? with Life, for example, and the sharp contrast of vines and crack and branches and leaves against pitch black is just visually stunning. The way the roots sink into the ground and the three-dimensional sensation of it is particularly badass here:

Friggin. How does this imply depth like that. HOW. IT'S SO FREAKING COOL.

A huge point here is also color language and use! Everybody has their own particular shade, generally matching their eyes, magic, and personality, and I adore how this is used to make it clear who's talking or who's doing an action. That was especially apparent to me with Dainix and Falst in the caves—their colors are both fairly warm, but quite distinct, and I love how this clarifies who's doing what in panels with a lot of action from both of them. There is a particular bit that stuck out to me, so I dug up the panels (see this page and the following one https://comicaurora.com/aurora/1-20-30/):

(Gods it looks even prettier now that I put it against a plain background. Also, appreciation to Falst for managing a bridal-carry midair, damn.)

The way that their colors MERGE here! And the immense attention to detail in doing so—Dainix is higher up than Falst is in the first panel, so Dainix's orange fades into Falst's orange at the base. The next panel has gold up top and orange on bottom; we can't really tell in that panel where each of them are, but that's carried over to the next panel—

—where we now see that Falst's position is raised above Dainix's due to the way he's carrying him. (Points for continuity!) And, of course, we see the little "huffs" flowing from orange to yellow over their heads (where Dainix's head is higher than Falst's) to merge the sound of their breathing, which is absurdly clever because it emphasizes to the viewer how we hear two sets of huffing overlaying each other, not one. Absolutely brilliant.

(A few other notes of appreciation to that panel: beautiful glows around them, the sparks, the jagged silhouette of the spider legs, the lovely colors that have no right to make the area around a spider corpse that pretty, the excellent texturing on the cave walls plus perspective, the way Falst's movements imply Dainix's hefty weight, the natural posing of the characters, their on-point expressions that convey exactly how fuckin terrifying everything is right now, the slight glows to their eyes, and also they're just handsome boys <3)

Next up: Rain!!!! So well done! It's subtle enough that it never ever disrupts the impact of the focal point, but evident enough you can tell! And more importantly: THE MIST OFF THE CHARACTERS. Rain does this irl, it has that little vapor that comes off you and makes that little misty effect that plays with lighting, it's so cool-looking and here it's used to such pretty effect!

One of the panel captions says something about it blurring out all the injuries on the characters but like THAT AIN'T TOO BIG OF A PROBLEM when it gets across the environmental vibes, and also that'd be how it would look in real life too so like… outside viewer's angle is the same as the characters', mostly? my point is: that's the environment!!! that's the vibes, that's the feel! It gets it across and it does so in the most pretty way possible!

And another thing re: rain, the use of it to establish perspective, particularly in panels like this—

—where we can tell we're looking down at Tynan due to the perspective on the rain and where it's pointing. Excellent. (Also, kudos for looking down and emphasizing how Tynan's losing his advantage—lovely use of visual storytelling.)

Additionally, the misting here:

We see it most heavily in the leftmost panel, where it's quite foggy as you would expect in a rainstorm, especially in an environment with a lot of heat, but it's also lightly powdered on in the following two panels and tends to follow light sources, which makes complete sense given how light bounces off particles in the air.

A major point of strength in these too is a thorough understanding of lighting, like rim lighting, the various hues and shades, and an intricate understanding of how light bounces off surfaces even when they're in shadow (we'll see a faint glow in spots where characters are half in shadow, but that's how it would work in real life, because of how light bounces around).

Bringing some of these points together: the fluidity of the lines in magic, and the way simple glowing lines are used to emphasize motion and the magic itself, is deeply clever. I'm basically pulling at random from panels and there's definitely even better examples, but here's one (see this page https://comicaurora.com/aurora/1-16-33/):

First panel, listed in numbers because these build on each other:

The tension of the lines in Tess's magic here. This works on a couple levels: first, the way she's holding her fists, as if she's pulling a rope taut.

The way there's one primary line, emphasizing the rope feeling, accompanied by smaller ones.

The additional lines starbursting around her hands, to indicate the energy crackling in her hands and how she's doing a good bit more than just holding it. (That combined with the fists suggests some tension to the magic, too.) Also the variations in brightness, a feature you'll find in actual lightning. :D Additional kudos for how the lightning sparks and breaks off the metal of the sword.

A handful of miscellaneous notes on the second panel:

The reflection of the flames in Erin's typically dark blue eyes (which bears a remarkable resemblance to Dainix, incidentally—almost a thematic sort of parallel given Erin's using the same magic Dainix specializes in?)

The flowing of fabric in the wind and associated variation in the lineart

The way Erin's tattoos interact with the fire he's pulling to his hand

The way the rain overlays some of the fainter areas of fire (attention! to! detail! hell yeah!)

I could go on. I won't because this is a lot of writing already.

Third panel gets paragraphs, not bullets:

Erin's giant-ass "FWOOM" of fire there, and the way the outline of the word is puffy-edged and gradated to feel almost three-dimensional, plus once again using Screen or a variation on it so that the stars show up in the background. All this against that stunning plume of fire, which ripples and sparks so gorgeously, and the ending "om" of the onomatopoeia is emphasized incredibly brightly against that, adding to the punch of it and making the plume feel even brighter.

Also, once again, rain helping establish perspective, especially in how it's very angular in the left side of the panel and then slowly becomes more like a point to the right to indicate it's falling directly down on the viewer. Add in the bright, beautiful glow effects, fainter but no less important black lines beneath them to emphasize the sky and smoke and the like, and the stunningly beautiful lighting and gradated glows surrounding Erin plus the lightning jagging up at him from below, and you get one hell of an impactful panel right there. (And there is definitely more in there I could break down, this is just a lot already.)

And in general: The colors in this? Incredible. The blues and purples and oranges and golds compliment so well, and it's all so rich.

Like, seriously, just throughout the whole comic, the use of gradients, blending modes, color balance and hues, all the things, all the things, it makes for the most beautiful effects and glows and such a rich environment. There's a very distinct style to this comic in its simplified backgrounds (which I recognize are done partly because it's way easier and also backgrounds are so time-consuming dear gods but lemme say this) and vivid, smoothly drawn characters; the simplicity lets them come to the front and gives room for those beautiful, richly saturated focal points, letting the stylized designs of the magic and characters shine. The use of distinct silhouettes is insanely good. Honestly, complex backgrounds might run the risk of making everything too visually busy in this case. It's just, augh, so GORGEOUS.

Another bit, take a look at this page (https://comicaurora.com/aurora/1-15-28/):

It's not quite as evident here as it is in the next page, but this one does some other fun things so I'm grabbing it. Points:

Once again, using different colors to represent different character actions. The "WHAM" of Kendal hitting the ground is caused by Dainix's force, so it's orange (and kudos for doubling the word over to add a shake effect). But we see blue layered underneath, which could be an environmental choice, but might also be because it's Kendal, whose color is blue.

And speaking off, take a look at the right-most panel on top, where Kendal grabs the spear: his motion is, again, illustrated in bright blue, versus the atmospheric screened-on orange lines that point toward him around the whole panel (I'm sure these have a name, I think they might be more of a manga thing though and the only experience I have in manga is reading a bit of Fullmetal Alchemist). Those lines emphasize the weight of the spear being shoved at him, and their color tells us Dainix is responsible for it.

One of my all-time favorite effects in this comic is the way cracks manifest across Dainix's body to represent when he starts to lose control; it is utterly gorgeous and wonderfully thematic. These are more evident in the page before and after this one, but you get a decent idea here. I love the way they glow softly, the way the fire juuuust flickers through at the start and then becomes more evident over time, and the cracks feel so realistic, like his skin is made of pottery. Additional points for how fire begins to creep into his hair.

A small detail that's generally consistent across the comic, but which I want to make note of here because you can see it pretty well: Kendal's eyes glow about the same as the jewel in his sword, mirroring his connection to said sword and calling back to how the jewel became Vash's eye temporarily and thus was once Kendal's eye. You can always see this connection (though there might be some spots where this also changes in a symbolic manner; I went through it quickly on the first time around, so I'll pay more attention when I inevitably reread this), where Kendal's always got that little shine of blue in his eyes the same as the jewel. It's a beautiful visual parallel that encourages the reader to subconsciously link them together, especially since the lines used to illustrate character movements typically mirror their eye color. It's an extension of Kendal.

Did I mention how ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL the colors in this are?

Also, the mythological/legend-type scenes are illustrated in familiar style often used for that type of story, a simple and heavily symbolic two-dimensional cave-painting-like look. They are absolutely beautiful on many levels, employing simple, lovely gradients, slightly rougher and thicker lineart that is nonetheless smoothly beautiful, and working with clear silhouettes (a major strength of this art style, but also a strength in the comic overall). But in particular, I wanted to call attention to a particular thing (see this page https://comicaurora.com/aurora/1-12-4/):

The flowing symbolic lineart surrounding each character. This is actually quite consistent across characters—see also Life's typical lines and how they curl:

What's particularly interesting here is how these symbols are often similar, but not the same. Vash's lines are always smooth, clean curls, often playing off each other and echoing one another like ripples in a pond. You'd think they'd look too similar to Life's—but they don't. Life's curl like vines, and they remain connected; where one curve might echo another but exist entirely detached from each other in Vash's, Life's lines still remain wound together, because vines are continuous and don't float around. :P

Tahraim's are less continuous, often breaking up with significantly smaller bits and pieces floating around like—of course—sparks, and come to sharper points. These are also constants: we see the vines repeated over and over in Alinua's dreams of Life, and the echoing ripples of Vash are consistent wherever we encounter him. Kendal's dream of the ghost citizens of the city of Vash in the last few chapters is filled with these rippling, echoing patterns, to beautiful effect (https://comicaurora.com/aurora/1-20-14/):

They ripple and spiral, often in long, sinuous curves, with smooth elegance. It reminds me a great deal of images of space and sine waves and the like. This establishes a definite feel to these different characters and their magic. And the thing is, that's not something that had to be done—the colors are good at emphasizing who's who. But it was done, and it adds a whole other dimension to the story. Whenever you're in a deity's domain, you know whose it is no matter the color.

Regarding that shape language, I wanted to make another note, too—Vash is sometimes described as chaotic and doing what he likes, which is interesting to me, because smooth, elegant curves and the color blue aren't generally associated with chaos. So while Vash might behave like that on the surface, I'm guessing he's got a lot more going on underneath; he's probably much more intentional in his actions than you'd think at a glance, and he is certainly quite caring with his city. The other thing is that this suits Kendal perfectly. He's a paragon character; he is kind, virtuous, and self-sacrificing, and often we see him aiming to calm others and keep them safe. Blue is such a good color for him. There is… probably more to this, but I'm not deep enough in yet to say.

And here's the thing: I'm only scratching the surface. There is so much more here I'm not covering (color palettes! outfits! character design! environment! the deities! so much more!) and a lot more I can't cover, because I don't have the experience; this is me as a hobbyist artist who happened to take a couple design classes because I wanted to. The art style to this comic is so clever and creative and beautiful, though, I just had to go off about it. <3

...brownie points for getting all the way down here? Have a cookie.

[tiredgoodomensfan]

Fuck it we ball fanfic time. Gn reader x lars pinfield WOO

Okay WOO lmk if this is shit or ooc or anything, but im pretty happy with how this went :D its a little rushed, might redo it in the future idk. Also i made Y/N bit too much like me (northern) so watch out for that american readers SORRYYY. anwyays enjoy!

I am smart.

No don't laugh, I am, genuinely I am.

Maybe not in the way that others deem important, maybe not in the traditional sense, but I am bright.

Pinfield doesn't think so, the prick.

Every day I come into work, all smiling and welcoming, and what do I get in return? A roll of the eyes if I'm lucky.

Dickhead.

But I don't let him get to me, I love my job. My boss is chill, I love hanging out with Lucky, and the Spenglers seem nice! It's a good gig, really.

I'm the "PR guy" for Ghost Corps. Every time they fuck up and destroy a building or whatever I'm the one who covers it up. I'm a real smooth talker, 'gift of the gab' my mum used to call it.

The team needs me, I know that, they know that. Im crucial to the whole operation, the sole reason why that whiny mayor dude hasnt shut them down.

I'm the one who goes to press interviews, who goes on the radio or on TV. I'm the social media manager, I make videos, and post tweets, fuck I've even started a Ghostbusters youtube account! I deserve a raise honestly. #justiceforY/NthePRguy

I get on with everyone at work except for Pinfield, and I genuinely dont know why.

I've tried getting him to feature in videos, or explain the science of stuff to me so I can actually seem like I know what I'm talking about- but he just brushes me off.

Gary tries to reassure me about this on a daily basis. "Its nothing to do with you Y/N" he smiled one day, putting a hand on my shoulder and guiding me away from the busy scientist. "He doesnt really talk to anyone, he gets really passionate about his work"

"I get that, but there's no need for him to be a dick to me, he's got me thinking all kinds of shit honestly!" I replied, exhasperated "I've never done nowt to him"

Suddenly, Pinfield raised his head from his work, scrunching his eyebrows together. "thats a double negative" he commented, looking at me as if I was stupid. Great, It's the most he's ever spoken to me and its a fucking insult- atleast I think it is.

"you what?" I ask, making my way over to him despite Garys protests. I fold my arms, looking as menacing as i can (which ive been told isn't very menacing at all)

"I said its a double negative, if you've never done nothing then you must've done something" before I can reply, he adds onto the end "which you haven't, by the way. I dont know why you think that. I treat you the same as anyone else"

I can't explain why his answer bothers me so much, but it does. Why does he view me in the same way he views the others? That's hardly fair. I'm always welcoming to him, I make time out of my day to include him in things. I hate to admit it, but I genuinely admire him aswell. His love for all things paranormal, the way he gets so excited and proud when he gets to explain the science of ghost-catching to someone. It's oddly endearing.

I tell him as much (excpet for the stuff about him being endearing, he doenst need his ego inflated any more than it already is)

He looks confused, I've never seen him look like that- its weird. Arrogant? sure. Annoyed? when is he not bffr. Happy? Once or twice. But confused? Weird. This is the guy with all the answers, the smart one.

He thinks for a moment, before seemingly making a desision. He stands up with a small huff of exhasperation, and walks off.

As he goes past me, he grabs my arm, more gently than I thought he was capable of. Okay, i guess im coming too. Fun, roadtrip time.

He takes me out of the lab and down the corridor, into a relatively well lit small room.

"Well this is-" before i can speak properly, he cuts me off. Told you he was a prick.

"I dont understand you Y/N" he blurts out, looking at me, as if I'm some sort of specimin hes studying in the lab.

"Well good." I joke. I dont like the serious tone he's taking. Dont like how aware I am of his gaze. HATE the fact I can feel my cheeks burning. Gross. Pinfield is a dick, we've established this. Why the fuck am I BLUSHING because he's LOOKING at me? Bit embarassing, pull it together Y/LN.

He doenst like this though. He shakes his head, pacing around.

"No Y/N you dont get it. I understand everyone, sort of anyways. I've observed them, I can predict their reactions to things. I know what they're all like- but you're... I just dont understand! You're so happy and nice all the time, but you also get angry at stupid stuff, but never really properly angry? I cant make sense of it, genuinely. You've not done anything wrong, you can't do anything wrong. Thats frustrating too. It's like you're this perfect, beautiful person, and I've been trying to see flaws but I cant-" He rambles, speaking like hes just letting out one stream of constant thoughts. He seems stressed, poor guy.

I interupt him, grabbing his arm. "Hey, c'mon Pinfi- I- Lars. C'mon Lars. I'm not worth the stress mate" I try and reassure him, but that just agitates him more.

"See! That's just it! I've been horrible to you, I admit it. But you've kept trying with me! When I hurt my hand you were the one who bandaged it and put it in a sling"

(i had found him almost blacked out from the pain on the lab floor, even the memory of it sent a shiver down my spine)

"you were the only one that looked for me after we all nearly died fighting Garraka"

("Pinfield? Pinfield!? Oh my god, there you are! Thank fuck you're alright!" Okay maybe this tiny non-crush had been going on longer than i thought... christ)

"I dont like the thought of you hurt..." i muttered, embarrased. this definitely wasnt how i was expecting this conversation to go, fuck my life I was crushing on a nerdy scientist who defintely didn't like me back.

He stopped his pacing and walked over to me until the gap between us was non existant. He slowly, hesitantly, lifted his hand until he cupped my cheek.

"I don't like the thought of you upset because of me" he muttered, his voice low.

My heart completely stopped, my breath caught in my throat, was this happening? how was this happening? i swear this guy was like my mortal enemy not even 5 minutes ago. so many revelations were bieng made today...

I decided to be bold, why not? fuck it, i've got nothing to loose at this point.

I leaned in so our noses just grazed eachother, looking at him, really genuinely looking at him. his soft blue eyes that seemed to peer into my soul. Not pierce through it, like some weird blue eyed fuckers i knew, but looked. gently, tenderly, as if he was looking at everything i ever had been, or would be. like i was something beautiful, something to be treaured.

It made me want to sob at the thought. god, how disgustingly sweet.

"make up for it then" i whispered, the tension so thick i could cut it with a knife.

I'd planned on being the one to make the forst move, but apparently, that was all that Lars needed.

He kissed me. His soft lips pressed against mine, sotfly, tenderly, tentatively.

I could feel the anxiety radiating off of him, so i quickly reciprocated. More eagerly than i owuldve liked- but oh well.

I could feel his hand resting on my waist, his thumb gently stroking my cheek. It all felt so tender, so raw, not at all how i thought it would be.

I felt like a teenager again, and couldnt resist letting out a small giggle, making Lars pull away. He looked confused again, making me laugh once again.

"What?" he aksed, a sort of amused smile on his face.

"Nothing- sorry. Nothing at all. Just thinking of how fuming mums gonna be when i tell her ive got a posho for a boyfriend"

"I am NOT posh!"

"you are a littleee"

"I AM NO- wait- boyfriend?"

"oh shit didnt mean to say that bi-"

he cut me off with another kiss, this one much more confident.

It felt like a million fireworks were going off in my head, oh I could definetly get used to this feeling. This war, sweet, happy feeling. My senses were flooded with everything Lars. His taste, his smell, his touch.

I felt like I was learning to live again.

[kaizenproductions]

Natsu does NOT have any previous experience with romantic love

This is the (better) Tumblr version of my post from Twitter. Given the format of this website, I'll add some details to what's already written.

Before starting with this, I want to clarify that the motivation to write this post has little to do with nalu itself (it will be mentioned to highlight a point though). Having previous romantic partners DOESN'T really make any ship invalid. You'll find the actual reason behind this essay under the cut below.

This is about how Natsu, as a character, is never presented or seen by others as someone who has experience with love and such idea is never hinted or implied anywhere in the canon material. This lack of experience explains why Lucy thinks he has no interest in it.

As we will see later, Lucy isn't the only one who thinks like this... Let's get started.

Year 2024. Why writing all this? Some weeks ago I was involved in a discussion about whether Natsu was being OOC during a filler (non canon) scene of the anime where he snaps at Lucy in a way he never does with any of his friends in canon material. The discussion led to this...

I didn't want to assume that this person was taking Lisanna as some kind of first love. At the end it turned out that was exactly what was happening. The proof? The most platonic reunion ever... with Happy reacting the same way as Natsu and comedy being included. It is important to highlight that Mashima never makes two people between whom there have been romantic feelings reunite like this, with comedy references in between that downplays the seriousness of the moment to some extent. While this post is about Natsu and his feelings, I could also mention Lisanna's reaction to this, something that proves that there wasn't even a one sided love: after noticing this Natsu is the same one from her real dimension, she doesn't start crying because of him but because of her siblings.

Let's ignore the part where this dude started calling me and some other users "retards" because that speaks volumes for itself about his lack of real arguments. After all, he has been fighting for at least 4 years with teens over power scaling, a topic he may seem to be knowledgeable about but actually isn't so much, plus he has been banned from at least one Discord server because of his r4pe threats. It seems this individual was so obsessed with that specific thing that he said Zeref did it to Mavis and that's how August was made... That also speaks volumes about his media literacy and the fact that even if it's true that he did read the manga so many times as he claimed during this discussion, he has serious problems with reading as a normal person. When it comes to the topic of this post, the problem is that he has some influence within the fandom, at least on Twitter, so whatever he says is something that many of his followers will start repeating.

What does Mashima do when Lisanna finally comes back to her original home and she gets a proper reunion with everyone?

After the initial shock from seeing Edo Lisanna in Earthland and the big reveal, this is how Natsu reacts.

This isn't a reunion that suggests that Lisanna is special compared to everyone else in the guild, and particulary to those who grew around Natsu. Also, we can't say Mashima just doesn't know how to write such scene properly... because he's written it at least once (in Rave).

The emotion you can feel in this scene, the way ONLY both lovers are on the spotlight and the rest of their friends are in the background until the end... Well, the difference is so obvious that it's ridiculous to say more. Given how well Mashima handles the emotional dimension of his characters in his mangas, the possibility that he didn't know how to depict two lovers who got separated from each for some time due to circumstances beyond their control is off the table.

Also, notice how the end of the Edolas arc depicts this.

The difference with her reunion with Natsu and the others is so obvious that there's no need to say more.

We can also discard Lisanna as a former love interest because there's no akwardness between them once she's back to the guild. They can be seen playing together and briefly interacting from time to time, so it's not like they're avoiding each other.

Is it implied somewhere that they had something beyond friendship? Not in any kind of canon material. Every time Lisanna is mentioned in regards to Natsu she's presented as a close childhood friend. We have, for example, her profile from one of the first chapters where she's back home and the information of the official magazine that was released 10 years ago.

But what if they simply stopped loving each other due to being separated, as a fellow nalu shipper told me on Discord? Making characters fall out of love is something that Mashima also references (see Macao pic a bit below). It also goes against what we saw regarding Erza and Jellal, who still had romantic feelings for each other despite their antagonistic positions for many years, or against the whole Zeref and Mavis thing. In other Mashima mangas we have more couples like this. Elsie and Justice still loved each other despite being sworn enemies, and Let still loved Julia (and vice versa) when he discovered she was alive, a kinda similar scenario to Natsu and Lisanna if they had been lovers. Given that Natsu and Lisanna weren't even enemies to each other at any point and they were only separated for two years, we can't say they had something canonically and they simply got over it with no actual reference to it.

There was a very good moment to reference past feelings in 100YQ: when Touka includes Lisanna in the group of women "around Natsu".

Instead of offering us a comment like "it's not like that anymore", Lisanna just says something that implies they're not that close. After all, Natsu is hanging out with his team most of the time since it was established.

What's the reason this fandom has been so many years discussing about this friendship? Because the first anime adaptation goes beyond that friendship and the manga omake where both of them take care of Happy's egg, something Lisanna decides to help with because she loves animals and she felt Natsu wouldn't do it properly. The first season includes several fillers that pave the way for a love triangle, presenting Lisanna as a girl who is VERY interested in marrying Natsu when they're adults. In addition, Happy is presented as their son, something that totally goes against the source material. Even if Natsu is the one who saw Happy be born and was living with him since then, Happy is never considered as his son and is always called a nakama/companion/friend.

This long thread has everything that A-1 and Satelight added in regards to Natsu and Lisanna. As we can see in the info provided in one of the first tweets, Mashima let them "edit" the story the way they wanted to and it's mentioned explicitely by both him and Ishihara (the director) that Ishihara is responsible for those additions, not Mashima. We also can't say the additions were something Mashima asked for because he couldn't include everything he wanted in his manga for some reason. This is supported by the fact that Lisanna is never presented in the manga as any kind of romantic interest after she comes back.

There's also this tweet from 2012 where Mashima replied to someone asking him whether he was involved in the story of the anime. His answer is no.

It's also important to say that these fillers aren't canon: they're not referenced in the source material (the starry key arc was, even if Mashima wasn't involved in the writing), they're not referenced in the anime itself after Lisanna comes back and they have no impact in the events of the story during and after Edolas.

Currently, thanks to Mashima's Twitter Spaces, we know two things: he revived Lisanna because some people in the anime staff liked her (Ishihara is one of them for sure), which explains why she's not very relevant and is always tied to her siblings, and he once considered to include a love triangle between Natsu, Lucy and Lisanna after Edolas, but he liked Natsu and Lucy's dynamic by then enough to not introduce such storyline. He also said Lisanna was "だめ" in regards to that triangle that never came to be, implying that she would have been the one that doesn't get the boy in that scenario.

So is Lisanna our supposed former love interest? As far as the canon material goes, no. Was she close to Natsu? Yes. Is she dear to him? Yes, just like everyone in his family, the guild, is (I can't believe I'm writing this in fking 2024). Now, what if there was someone else? The assumption that characters may have dated another (unnamed) character offscreen isn't totally crazy. After all we saw how Juvia dated Bora, even if it was a narrative tool to show that not even dates would make Juvia stop being depressed. However, we can't say there was someone else as more than a headcanon unless it's implied or mentioned somewhere explicitely. We know Macao was married but got divorced thanks to the official magazine, for example.

When it comes to Natsu, nothing is ever mentioned.

100YQ, the official FT sequel, has several pannels that go against the whole idea of Natsu being experienced with romantic love. As I mentioned at the beginning, even others from the guild, and especifically Macao in this pannel, who knows Natsu since he was a kid, have a hard time believing he's interested in love.

This part of the story includes a very interesting pannel that also debunks the whole idea that Natsu felt more than frienship for Lisanna before she was transported to Edolas.

Why would Lisanna's brother react like this over such comment if Natsu and his sister had romantic feelings in the past? Easy: because those feelings never existed.

Even Lisanna is a bit surprised when Touka expresses her interest in him.

Previous romantic experience would also mean that Natsu's relationship with Lucy would be more advanced than it is as of now, not to mention this recent scene.

Natsu is still quite dense with romance, even when it doesn't involve him, and while he talks about his and Lucy's kids they still have a long way to go due to his total inexperience in this area as of now. Someone with past love experiences wouldn't be like this. I could say more about this but this isn't the post for it so...

Conclussion: the first season of the anime did a lot of damage that resulted in many years of discussions, fights, misogyny towards both Lucy and Lisanna. There was no childhood or teen love, no jealousy from Lisanna when she saw how close Natsu and Lucy were as a team and nothing suggests that Lisanna was more than a friend in canon material. Claiming the opposite at this point of the story is useless.

[familyagrestefanblog]

Clarification I definitely should have done ever since season 4 and the Ladynoir conflict started escalating, but hey, let's just get it out:

There are reasons why I'm harping down so badly on Miraculous' Girlboss feminism and defend Adrien as much as I do.

To get the feminist (in-universe) explaination out of the way first:

I would be lying if I said that I like the direction the show has taken Marinette's character and the story in general. But regarding her specifically I simply have to say that most of my problems with her are how she is written as Ladybug, Guardian, and especially leader & partner. Not in her civilian self. Hence why you won't find that alot on my blog, only when it contributes to the overarching double standards problem from s4 I take issue with.

I simply cant deny it, Ladybug is a kind of leader I just came to not be able to respect alot anymore in how she operates most things bc she doesn't really ever look passed how things look & stand for herself, and what SHE needs & wants. Marinette is a very low empathy person in the sense that she struggles putting herself in other people's positions, or remembers considering that at all.

But that's not the reason why I can't respect her as leader. I have ADD, that would be really hypocritical of me.

What leaves me unable to respect her as leader though (& honestly kinda even wanting Alya to take her position) is the fact that the show doesn't see much wrong with Maribug doing that.

They don't properly depict this as flawed leadership she actually NEEDS to grow out of by making up for her shortcomings by, for example, making other people her official co-leaders. Instead the show since s4 (& kinda s3) will proceed to put it's feminist foot down if Maribug isn't actually in the end 100% correct and "totally girlboss justified" in any given case - with CN & authorities specifically - no matter the context. Ergo she's barely ever truly improving her weakpoints in partnership skills for example & continues doing the same mistakes over n over.

like she genuinely would benefit from having Chat Noir as her co-leader too, not just Rena Rouge. But no. The neurodivergend low-empathy girl can't have a high-empathy boy co-leader bc apparently thats misogynistic now, huh ?

Again, I have ADD and I'm also a woman. In fact, I actually have alot in common with Maribug (hence why it hurt so much once s4 took her away from me), so forgive me when I still say: I am NOT going to lower my standards of my believe that neither of those aspects get to be an excuse on everyone else's expense regarding LEADERSHIP (which I do also am in the position of in my life).

And I repeat: LEADERSHIP. Not Marinette herself as a person necessarily & esp not her civilian life.

People always say that her critics wouldn't be so hard on her if she were a man, but I strongly disagree. In my experience, if Marinette were a boy people would actually draw a line nowadays and call out that Mariano is too stuck in his own head to be a good leader (& partner). And maybe even demand that he shouldn't be in that position anymore either at all or until he's in a better head space.

Bc with male characters people are actually drawing lines now in important factors when it comes to power & the accountability coming with it, bc in the end being in change means it ain't about you

Hence why e. g. Steve Rogers (Captain America) was then a fucking fugitive from the law when shit got real in the MCU. They had to do that bc of his leadership morality not being able to exist well within a corrupted & complex law system under fire and attack. My man's an amazing battle leader, but the MCU did VERY well leaving taking care of all kinds of social & political matters to Tony Stark. This kind of nuance ain't Steve's strength. Marinette & Steve are actually a EXTREMELY similar type of leader and it's interesting that I don't exactly vibe with him too much either in that regard, but like him as person the way I did Marinette. So for me it's definitely an issue with their type of leadership.

But the mainstream female leader characters are often still "too female" to get held to the same regular standards bc telling a female leader character in a complicated and not entirely beneficial situation & position 'yeah, it's sucks but you're not the center of the universe'' is now more often than not still "too mean/ sexist"

again, Steve was made an outlaw for a reason and you can bet if he had been a Stephanie people would have made all her struggles about sexism & called the 'outlaw leader' route after Civil War misogyny, merely bc "society doesnt respect women". This is whats happening with Maribug & it clashes with her leadership style.

Hence why there AREN'T ALOT of mainstream female leader characters. And if we get some, most of them are narratively defined by how powerful & in control they are for THEIR OWN BENEFIT and it being depicted as 100% right & just in general (like with Marinette) which goes against what a normal leader should be, so alot of people don't like them (ignoring the actual sexist people for a sec)

The first Wonder Woman movie for example was so well-received for a reason. They did it RIGHT (& may I please also recommend Wakanda Forever? Fuck, that movie was GOOD)

--

But yes, it's notably how Maribug treats Chat, who is supposed to be her partner and friend, that I take alot of issues with.

And yes, I would say the same if LB were male and CN female. Ladynoir is so rooted in toxic femininity that this "partnership" (or just the entire LS) the way it is could NOT exist today in gender bend. S4 and the s5 finale in particular are unthinkable in gender bend and they sold it as "justified female empowerment" & "unparalleled loving treatment" from Ladybug's side Chat Noir needed to learn to be GRATEFUL for.

All while, and I will never stop stressing this: the show has never stopped writing Marinette to treat Chat Noir as if he basically just spawns into existence once he puts on the mask. He's HALF a human being. Even once she falls in love with him in s5.

This is the fundamental and deep seeded problem of where my issues come from here. It never stands in question if Adrien views Marinette and Ladybug as full human beings, but the other way around that very much is the case. In whatever way it's depicted. Yes this is a line I draw, especially because of the whole Sentihuman thing.

I personally am alot more like Adrien regarding Friendship and partnership (or what his character initially started out). They are heavy & meaningful topics for me. So seeing Marinette being utilized to girlboss all that into the ground with Chat Noir, esp in s4, while she apparently barely ever even noticed anything wrong with how she treats him in the first place as she literally replaced him with Alya/ Rena in everything but name

cause buring him under a wall of secrets & lies meant she can still 100% benefit from his eternal devotion by letting him believe she's too alone to be a partner anymore AT ALL. (Kuro Neko onwards and then NEVER stopped letting him think she's just as alone as he is. NEVER. She's still doing it in s5 while leaving him 100% isolated which was then his demise in the s5 finale.)

and gives Alya the deluxe partnership entirely on his expense, while barely ever sparing him even the most basic thought in anything; & by "Risk" then literally having them switch status. Rena is her actual partner she fully treats that way and he's merely her favorite temp hero with no rights, which Rena was previously.

And the only reason why Chat was treated with something resembling to fairness or dignity again in season 5 (& finally wasn't a rag doll for her every little mood anymore...) was because Maribug plainly had no other choice and had her team & position of power taken away by force while Alya renounced for her own safety. And yet she's still treating him as half a human being even by the end of S5. AFTER her character development. He's Chat Noir and that's where his existence ends in her leadership & friendship. CN and Alya in s5 are literally 2 halves of ONE PARTNER.

All that was painful to watch to say the least. Bc it's imo honestly a disgrace to friendship and partnership. I can't put into words how ashamed I would be of myself if I treated someone the way Marinette treats Chat Noir (again, HALF A HUMAN BEING).

Much less a friend I claim to love dearly and don't want to loose (another thing the MCU did better regarding Steve's fall-out with Tony over Bucky... I should really make that comparison post why Steve works for me & Marinette doesnt)

Just the mere fact that Marinette in "Elation" even told Chat "It doesn't matter who's underneath your mask" is honestly outrageous.

Because thats simply what it is for me. If s4 & 5 Marinette were portrayed from a similar morality angle to Emonette in the Paris special I would have much less issues with her. Cause thats ironically an angle female characters barely get & is mostly used to redeem the broken bad boys with a hidden heart of gold™.

Double irony: s1-s3 actually DID put civilian Marinette often into that angle, hence why I really liked her, but then s4 suddenly said "well, her methods & actions really dont matter. She's wrong, but actually not really; ergo she should get rewarded in the end. Always. But with a few exceptions. Here n there she loses to claim otherwise. But actually the world just needs to learn how right & amazing she is."

She makes countless mistakes but often either doesn't really learn from them anymore or they just don't "count" bc that's 'what makes her quirky & loveable', so having any issues with her now means you hate women. And she's a very flawed leader but actually never did anything wrong. Ever. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

I will be VERY blunt now: The moment you put a female character into the leader role the FEMALE aspect is supposed to be of secondary importance. And a leader, by the nature of the position, ALWAYS has to be questioned morally wise in my opinion bc of the fatal blindspots that will automatically occur in every leadership.

And it happened here too: Chat Noir's treatment. But they demanded that her being the (female) leader means she's OWED to treat him badly & gets to keep him as blindspot on HIS expense bc she doesn't like thinking about him existing as civilian person.

A leader is ALWAYS somebody who is NOT going to sit well with everybody regarding their approach. That's a normal instinct, and in fact it would be highly dangerous if that wouldnt happen at all. So if I, or other people, don't respect her as one that simply means she has an opposition the way every leader has & is being held to normal standards a leader should be held to, regardless of gender.

Sorry if you think thats sexist, but in my opinion that's a YOU problem. I personally respect female leaders too much to not acknowledge them as anything else but the potential threats they are. The same way I do with male leaders.

You're leader first, woman second. If you can't handle that get out of the leadership position (yes, oc that also applies the other way around). Feminism was about making sure that women cant be excluded from e. g. position of power just bc we're female. The goal wasn't to have yet another group of people stomp their foots, now claiming that they are OWED power once they wanna have it to feel powerful. But that's what Marinette was used to teach an entire generation of children, especially girls.

The last thing you will EVER get me to do is accept that I should be holding women - specifically for equality, female empowerment and leadership - to LOWER (moral) standards as I would the men in her position.

Buddy, I am NOT gonna fucking do that. Just the thought is pissing me tf off, and has ever since s4, cause it directly plays into the misogynistic thinking of:

"Women can't be given power, status or even too much focus as human beings because they're too irrational and immature to be able to then lay proper priorities & take rightful accountability for their shit like a man in power could; and not just scream and cry while playing the oppressed victim card the moment things don't work out & they aren't being given the special female treatment to let them mostly off the hook consequences wise.

Leading to everyone around them, especially the MEN, having to step up, do the work & basically babysit the women like children - while still having to give her the credit as person in charge - turning the women more or less into toddlers wearing a queen's crown"

Which, by all means, Adrichat in every dynamic of the love square by season 5, Gabriel at the end of "Recreation" and even Luka & Félix (& "thankfully" Alya too since s4) had to do for Maribug in alot of ways.

Pick up all of her slack in several major areas & catering to her while simultaneously having to still give most of the credit to HER or else they would be "mean to the female lead" (it's also telling that Alya is treated the best here, & goodness dont get me started on Su-Han...).

And with that out of the way, a few more meta reasons:

1) I'm NOT watching a damn documentary. Marinette is NOT a 14 year old, she doesnt exist & isnt based on a real person or story. She's a fictional main character and narrative tool, so forgive me for approaching this differently than a real life case.

and 2) in everything I watch I automatically look out for the narrative's blind spots and victims of the writings' favorites. I take it this seriously because this is career related for me.

Hence why I have barely ever liked a main character and ironically Marinette/ Ladybug was once one of the few exceptions (alongside Korra from Legend of Korra and Blitz from Helluva Boss)

Look, when I for example watch Helluva Boss or a Yugioh show I will automatically pay extra attention to how the female characters are being treated bc they are obviously treated worse by the writing and much more neglected and scapegoated than the male characters.

Meanwhile when I watch Miraculous and She-Ra, I do the opposite and pay attention to how the male characters are treated bc now they have the gender-biase against them.

And when I for example watch Avatar the last Airbender or Legend of Korra [and She-Ra, that show is great], then I actually get to be mostly fucking happy for once in my life jfc

I'm not going to elaborate too much more on this because I already named by my main point in the beginning: Chat Noir's - not even Adrien's, I mean CHAT NOIR - sometimes honestly awful treatment being the biggest moral and narrative blind spot of the entire show, and honestly where most of Maribug's problems then are also rooted in. Hence why I started focusing so much on Chat Noir since season 4. I look at the overall narrative and circumstances and look for the blind spots that needs to be solved to get to the core of the problem of this whole mess, to get effective results.

And that was and even by the end remained the fact that Adrichat is treated so badly, scapegoated in every possible way in the name of "feminism" and kicked out of the story where HE is at the core of most everything going on, just so the show can force Maribug into everything, make things about her that have no business being about her

Just so she can then be made to constandly turn around and scream, cry and stress about problems - and go about them in the least effective way - that wouldnt be there in the first place if she wasnt the main character of a story that isnt hers.

Mate, I dont know what to tell you here, but the fact that we are following Marinette Dupain-Cheng ,who has nothing to do with anything besides being the cool action girl, is and will always remain of the of core problems of this show. I WISHED that wasnt the case. But for the love of everything, Kagami would have made so much more sense as the female lead, but no.

Anyway, I will leave it at that now cause I already elaborate much further than I initially wanted to, I just wanted to finally have all this stated.

This Blog is not a full representation of how I lay priorities in (feminist) media in general, my view adjusts to the piece of media I'm watching.

And unfortunately, ever since season 4 Miraculous turned into a full blown extreme case and has only gotten better somewhat recently. So I will continue doing what I always do: focus on the fucking VICTIM whose bad treatment pulls down the whole show's quality, and here that's plain obviously Adrien Agreste/ Chat Noir.

And with all due respect: Die mad about it.

[dimdiamond]

You know, what really strikes me with Tintin in Tibet is at the beginning, when Tintin gets Chang's letter, Haddock has no idea of who this boy is. Normally, we would expect, considering how important is for Tintin his friendship with Chang and vice versa, that Tintin would have talked about Chang at least once to Haddock and yet it seems like he hasn't. Understandably, our first thought is to be weirded out and kinda disappointed with Tintin and blame Herge for not handling his cast properly. But, I read this as how Tintin's character is.

I don't know how often Tintin and Chang exchange letters and how they keep in touch but it seems that it's not that often, or even if it is, Tintin doesn't get into the trouble to explain Haddock (hiding it from him is another explanation but I don't think it's that possible, considering Tintin's and Haddock's friendship and characters and how, if this was the case, Tintin wouldn't explain to Haddock from who the letter is and what it says). However, we see Tintin being really excited to receive Chang's letter and thrilled to meet him again after so long. So, the possibility of Tintin not cherishing or remembering his friend is nonexistent, especially if we take into consideration what happens to the rest of the book. Then why Tintin hasn't talked about Chang to Haddock? Has he even told him about his previous adventures, before meeting him?

I believe that this scene shows exactly Tintin's character and how he handles opening up to others. Simply he doesn't if he doesn't see any reason to do so. He tends to be secretive not from malice or anything bad, but because he isn't comfortable with being the centre of attention. Yeah, ironically, the famous journalist prefers to be a spectator and a listener than be on the scene and talk. Certainly this has helped to his job and his fame, as, even we, the readers, can't help but want to know more about him and see him. Tintin doesn't aim for this attention though and that's what it makes him appealing as a character.

Back to our topic, Tintin rarely talks about himself and when he does is because it just happened, not planning or intending to do so, and even then he gives so few information about him and his life (for example "I interviewed a pilot" and then never mentions it again). It is possible that Tintin has mentioned his trip to Shanghai or something of his adventure there but never went to the details. And this is the interesting part where Haddock hasn't asked for more details. More than once, Haddock has shown his respect to Tintin and his limits and never pressured him to anything. This is how their friendship, and most of their friendships with others, go. They accept each other for who they are now and their past won't change their opinion on them (actually they focus too much to the present but this is another topic). So, if this applies to both of them, why the need to say more?

My point with all this is that, instead of seeing Tintin's lack of mention of his friend (and any other irl person's to be frank) as something bad and mean, we should see it as how Tintin is and this doesn't diminish his feelings and his care and his bonds with others. For Tintin (and even Haddock) not talking about someone or something doesn't equal to dismissing it. He doesn't feel the need to say out loud something that he knows and feels already. If it happens to be mentioned he will talk and he won't lie. If it doesn't happen to be mentioned, then he won't initiate the talk. And for this exact reason I believe that Chang knows about Haddock and Calculus and maybe Nestor from Tintin's letters. Because Tintin's life and adventures revolves around them and he can't say something about him without mentioning them at least once (and probably after Tibet and staying home more the mentions become more and more).

Basically Tintin has the attention span of a cat (between other characteristics) and if something doesn't happen right in front of him he won't acknowledge it and that doesn't make him a bad person and friend.

[blackscaara]

I'm not completely sure how I'm going to get this all organized properly from the stuff that comes out of my brain, but I'm going to try my best- bear with me. 

To me, and I know for a lot of other people, Aziraphale is perfectly representative of the experience of religious trauma. For those of you who don't know what that's like, I'm here to explain, based on my own experiences. 

For a lot of people suffering from religious trauma, our experiences start when we're very young, we are raised inside the church. As a child inside the church, you are heavily taught to respect your elders and to never question authority (sound familiar?) For me, I was really good at listening to and believing the things my family and the other adults in my life would tell me. 

Along with the concept that children in church are heavily advised to listen and obey, we are also raised to be completely dependent on God and the church's teachings, nothing is more important than withholding our relationship with God and obeying the word of the Bible. (Also sound familiar?) 

We are raised being constantly reminded of and told to follow these rules, and we do, why? Because we will burn for all eternity in Hell if we don't. Imagine an adult sitting in a room telling a group of six year olds that if they don't listen to a book, they will suffer eternally. This is how we were roped into living this life so obediently- they scared us to submission. 

You can see this in heaven, telling the angels to always be obedient and follow God's lead, and having the fallen used as a weapon to scare remaining angels into submission. They have been taught this since the very beginning, to always follow God, and to never ask questions. And the angels now? They've seen what happens to those who ask questions. 

Aziraphale was always a good and obedient angel, just like the rest of them after the fall. He believed and followed everything he was taught because it was a he ever knew, and he witnessed what the punishment would be like for him if he didn't. Children of the church are the same. 

He believes these things so deeply, and trusts so much in God that even the being he loves most, Crowley, can't get in the way of that. No amount of temptation or abuse could get him to truly realize that everything he once knew is not really as it seems. Because it is the only thing he knows, I cannot preface that enough, it's all he knows. 

It's all I ever knew when I was growing up, all I never knew was obedience under the Lord and I will forever be loved, and that's a big thing for people, being loved; and in this, it's big for our little angel too. He's desperate to be loved and he's working for it in the only way he knows. 

And we do see Crowley throughout s1 and 2 tempting Aziraphale and making him do things that heaven would not particularly like, but so far, Aziraphale is not at a point where he can truly realize what is being done to him. 

The church, and heaven, manipulates us, and like I said before, it's all we've ever known, and learning that we were raised unjustly in a manipulative and abusive environment that made themselves seem so warm and loving is a shocking thing for us. But isn't that what abuse is? 

Aziraphale has been abused and manipulated for over 6000 years, and if you know anything about abuse, especially associated with one's childhood, it is really hard for someone to accept that someone they love, and believed they were loved by, is abusing and manipulating them. 

That's it, that's what Aziraphale is doing. Even after I realized all the hurt my family put me through in the name of God I still kept running back to them, I still kept defending them, and I still kept telling people it was all ok, even though it hurt so much to do. Because it is all I knew. It was the only place I felt truly loved, even if it was all a lie. 

That's the relationship Aziraphale has with heaven, he's not abandoning Crowley, he just hasn't fully understood the full story of how much Heaven has truly hurt him. Crowley sees it, witnesses it, was victim to it and he tries to tell Aziraphale that, but Aziraphale is still blinded by the way he has lived for 6000 years. 

I lost people I loved in my life because of the blind obedience I was raised with, Aziraphale is losing Crowley because of that, and I can never ever be mad at him because I know what that's like, I see it, I experienced it, and it's ultimately the thing that brought me to tears the most. 

Even to this day I still find myself defending my family for the things they did to me, even now knowing how wrong it was, don't be mad at him, really, it's not his fault. 

[kyouka-supremacy]

Yeah I was shocked at first too how little Atsushi seemed to care about Aku's death and was outright offended on Aku's behalf but now that I'm rereading I can't describe Atsushi post-88 as anything other than "numb" or going through the motions and it get really blatant when you see how animated he got during the most recent chapters

Mmmmhh. I think those two Atsushi pages are extremely interesting, and that we need to talk about them some more. Overall, Anon, I relate to your experience: I too thought Atsushi's reaction to Akutagawa's death was rather indifferent at first, and I too eventually warmed up to it explaining it as loss rather than apathy, a difficulty to process what had happened just yet. But the thing is, before chapter 107 came out, I truly felt like both interpretations - the indifferent one and the numb one - were equally sustained by canon elements and potentially true. I do think that the “indifference” interpretation had canon grounds of its own right and, although it's close to be disproven by the latest chapters, I want to elaborate on that, because I think it's still valuable to reflect over it.

It's reasonable to think Atsushi's reaction was so cold and detached because a lot had just happened for him way beyond what any man could elaborate in the immediate; at that point it still didn't come natural for him to think of Akutagawa as anything but evil, and, even though Akutagawa had just proven in action to be more than a ruthless monster, for Atsushi months of thinking of Akutagawa as the devil incarnate isn't something he could grow out of in a matter of minutes or hours, especially given he still hadn't had the chance to properly elaborate what happened. And yet even when considering all of that, it's still true that Atsushi never asks Ango "why did Akutagawa sacrifice himself?" or "why did Akutagawa die for me?"; he only wonders if there's "some grand meaning to it". He doesn't seem to be pondering over Akutagawa's sacrifice in particular as something extraordinary, but rather reflects about the entire string of events as equally important factors. I find it insane that Atsushi is thinking about the event of Akutagawa keeping his promise over the very occurrence of Akutagawa giving his life to save him, and how even that instance of remembering something good Akutagawa did feels to be only prompted by acknowledging how that allowed him to escape, for the ada to keep fighting– even when thinking about Akutagawa, it seems to be for inherently selfish reasons. It all speaks, to me, like in that moment Atsushi saw Akutagawa like just a piece in the grand scheme of things and nothing more, which is coherent with the dehumanizing perception of Akutagawa he always held; and that's why it made me believe that nothing much really changed even after Akutagawa died for him, because apparently nothing would have been able to scratch Atsushi's quick-to-judgement, close minded attitude.

Then again, this was my main interpretation up to chapter 88 and no further, and back then I probably shouldn't have given that much relevance to Atsushi's words since in that moment he was understandably shaken and unstable. Besides, obviously, chapters 107 and 108, Atsushi hallucinating Akutagawa in chapter 105 is a meaningful element too: the way Akutagawa seems to be guiding him, how Atsushi doesn't seem to hold any fear or hatred or resentment towards him anymore, the way Atsushi places him on top of importance falling second only to Dazai. And it's true that chapter 107's "I know you're still there" and "you still haven't told me why did you save me" are telling enough on their own: of the fact that Atsushi really had a change of heart about Akutagawa, of the fact that he's changed his mind on him. And after all who am I to disagree, I don't wish for anything other than celebrating sskk canon 2k23 ahah!

But the thing is: in the end, to me, it really doesn't matter if that chapter 88 scene specifically is meant to be interpreted Atsushi caring for Akutagawa or not!! What I mean to say is that unrequited-sskk is still a very compelling dynamic and noteworthy concept, and it having canon basis or not is ultimately completely irrelevant.

I've been called out a lot for my unrequited-sskk takes and received a couple of asks and replies already on this, so I really wanted to clarify why I'd stand by that in the first place, and elaborate on why in my opinion that Atsushi scene from chapter 88 really fits the picture. Truth to be told, unrequited-sskk was mostly a June 2022 phase that manifested slowly in later months due to my late posting habit, but I don't feel for it any strongly than requited sskk– I mean, I obviously love sskk, of course I'm also rooting for them to be happy together. But I do think unrequited sskk holds a lot of thematic value, and that's why I think it's very interesting concept to reflect over! More specifically, I think it's very fitting with Akutagawa's character themes of being perfectly unlovable, the miserable and tragic character. This context ties with and reinforces the image of Akutagawa as the cursed character, someone who can only fall for people who are destined to hate him; and the people he loves won't ever be able to see in him anything but a monster, because he is fated to cause repulsion in anyone he meets. Additionally, seeing the character under this light makes his death even more dramatic and heartbreaking: there's some added pain in the knowledge that he's dying for someone he loves, and who is never going to love him back or even see him as human for what matters, and yet Akutagawa deciding to do so anyways. I feel like Akutagawa as the ultimate tragic character, born miserable and died miserable, only ever running after glimpses of happiness without ever the chance to grasp them, forever unloved, forever in pain, is really compelling! Akutagawa doomed to be unloved in life and death, someone whose pain, whose sacrifice and humanity will never be recognized by anyone but the silent audience. It's just a very entertaining concept to explore!!

I also find the unrequited love scenario interesting on the other end, in the way it frames Atsushi, the good one, as fundamentally unable to be compassionate and forgiving with Akutagawa, making out of the good guy a complex and especially flawed person. I like how Atsushi and Akutagawa's roles of good and bad are switched in someone who's unforgiving (unsympathetic), and someone who's miserable (sympathetic). (That is far from wanting to villainize Atsushi– Akutagawa did a lot of unforgivable things to him. He just did a lot of redeemable things also.)

In the end my final take - which is something I've always thought - is that sskk's relationship, and its chance to bloom romantically or not, is mostly dictated by chance: in Beast, they've met in a friendly, non-hostile environment, and they suddenly clicked; but not in every universe they might be lucky. They have palpable chemistry, but it's not granted that will always translate in them getting along more than them clashing and destroying each other. And I guess that's what makes them so fun to fixate on!! How their relationship can take so many different shapes while staying the same. When people ask when sskk would get together, I really think it's only a matter of case. I think it's as likely for Akutagawa to kiss Atsushi on impulse after this arc has ended than it is for them to beat around the bush for years and years to no end. I think it's really a matter of chance that Akutagawa didn't kill Atsushi and join the Hunting Dogs, a split-second decision that could have easily gone another way. I find it cool how their relationship can take so many different shapes and yet the only thing that stays the same is how inexplicably tied they are, how the other makes them who they are, how deeply and intrinsically connected they are.

Tl;dr: Atsushi's reaction to Akutagawa's death, up to chapter 88 and without considering chapter 107 and further, has equal basis to be interpreted as Atsushi being indifferent (uncaring) of Akutagawa or detached (caring in disguise) of Akutagawa; here's what made of uncaring of Akutagawa an interesting scenario no matter the fact it turned out to be wrong; here's why, independently by how much canon basis it has, themes wise unrequited-sskk is still a very interesting concept that should be taken in consideration.

[flutterbyoz]

More Hetty/Trevor musings

This post is a little long and I probably shouldn't be looking so deep into this but it's something that's been on my mind for a while and though I'm not great at explaining or deciphering scenes, I needed to write it down. Other people may interpret the scene differently but this is my take on it.

One of my favourite H-Money scenes is in 'Alberta's Descendent' when Hetty finds out that Trevor has given up his room to Nigel. Whether the writers meant this scene to be anything significant or to mean something or not, I think it is quite an important moment for both Trevor and Hetty.

For Trevor, it's a selfless act, he knows he won't gain much, if anything, from it, especially as at that point he's already called things off with Hetty. He's also made it pretty clear that sleeping in the library isn't something he want's to do but he does it, for her.

While it could be argued that maybe he does it to try and get back with her, I don't see it that way as he was the one who broke it off in the first place and he asks her to leave rather than trying to get her to stay. For me, what the scene is showing is that Trevor is a good guy, he cares about Hetty and puts her wishes above his own. Even though he doesn't really care who finds out about them he wants to prevent her from having to experience the embarassment of their secret getting out.

The other reason this scene gets to me is Hetty's reaction, it's almost as if she's realising that some of the assumptions she had of him previously were wrong. I don't think she expected him to do what he did after calling off their affair as I highly doubt Elias ever did anything like that for her in life so to have a man do something so selfless for her, especially with their liaisons, at that point, being over, is likely not what she's used to. Her expression when she turns to leave is, to me, not only showing some realisation that maybe he isn't the kind of man she thought he was but there might be some regret there too. She doesn't want this thing with him to end but I don't think she a, knows how to tell him, or b, is really sure she knows what it is she does want.

Everytime I watch it, which is quite often, I just can't help but think that IF, and that's a very big IF, they did turn this into something more than friends with benefits then this scene could potentially be a small part of explaining why. I think what happened in that episode made them both think about things a little differently than maybe they had before and Hetty opting to out them on her own was a big thing for her to do. And though as we see a little later, their attempts at a public relationship don't exactly go well, it doesn't stop them wanting to be together despite it being an ideal time for the writers to break them up properly if they wanted to. It makes me think they have something planned for Hetty and Trevor, what that is I've no idea and I could be completely off with all of this but it's fun to speculate.

Afterall, they are so interesting and so ridiculous that they keep me glued to everything they do, they are taking up the majority of my brain space at the moment. I just need season 3 to hurry up and get here so that I can not only see what else they get up to but also have more scenes to forensically analyse and obsess over!

[jeevaschrist]

Nikolai as a husband?

title: Nikolai Gogol as Your Husband / Random HCs

tw: body scars

an: i love nikolai sm i can't explain why also wouldn't his offspring be so pretty??

NIKOLAI GOGOL AS YOUR HUSBAND

this man is genuinely so protective that it borders on yandere.

i also see him like i see dazai- insane by nature and a sprinkle of trauma, meaning he does things that would make you think he doesn't care about you, i.e. getting you in danger only for the thrill of saving you

nikolai loves it when you braid hir hair but he also happens to be very particular about it so he'll make you show him after

if it isn't the exact way he wants it i confidently can say he will make you redo it

nikolai doesn't brush his hair unless he's told to. i don't even see him sleeping much so when he does sleep he just doesn't think to brish it before or after bed

however his hair is still something really important to him so he can and will take amazing care of it

even when it isn't brushed it looks perfect

don't ask him to remove his eyepatch unless he initiates it first. just don't.

NIKOLAI AS A FATHER NIKOLAI AS A FATHER NIKOLAI AS A FATHER NIKOLAI AS A FATHER NIKOLAI AS A FATHER NIKOLAI AS A FA-

nikolai has muscles. sorry, sorry, i know some people are set on him being slim n twiggy but i reeeeeeeally don't see him that way at all

every day is leg day

adding onto his body i see him having scars everywhere. not as heavily as dazai but still a good amount. i also see some being infected as he doesn't know how/care enough to properly clean all of his wounds

he's jumpy. boing boing boy. he'll jump on you at any given time and if those calves of yours aren't ready to block the fall, you'll tumble right over and he'll think it's the funniest thing ever

he's so immature but he still knows what's right and wrong

i said he knows what's right and wrong but i didn't say he acted on it

i see him taking good care of his face tho??? like my guy has a whole skincare routine that he doesn't miss (ok that's a stretch but you get my point)

nikolai also wouldn't be afraid to wear makeup with you or just be your model in general to see what does and doesn't look good together

100% would love to wear matching nail polish styles together (if u want me to post some nikolai inspired nails that i find on pinterest lmk)

nikolai would probably have a thing with giving you random ass gifts based on random ass things he sees you doing. he sees you eating? new tupperware set the next day. he sees you writing? new pens and a journal the next day. he sees you walking? new shoes. swimming? bathing suit. just every day things that you wouldn't think/want a gift for, he thinks you need so he gets them for you

ik these weren't the best but lmk if you want more!

[callmeadin]

scaramouche x gn!reader

this is entirely self-indulgent, and i just wanted some comfort but this may have become fluff to possible angst haha. anyways, no warnings really. 

- fluff, angst, not proofread

• you remember when you first met him; you were timid and too intimidated while he didn't acknowledge your existence.

• well, that wasn't truly your first meeting

• that was just the first time you saw him

• but regardless; you wanted to tell him that he was pretty!

• even if he was being mean to his subordinates—

• when you two did finally meet properly, it was to the courtesy of la signora, your aunt(?)

• scaramouche was quite inconsiderate, much like with everyone else

• you never did get to express to him that he had a pretty face;

• you barely spoke a word, while he continued to be snarky

• until you were just having one of the worst days in your life, not being in the mood for anything

• you snapped at him

• he was surprised, yes, but then from there, it became an enemies trope

• constantly picking and arguing with each other after that, there were small cracks of peace

====

as he was sitting in his office, the quietness wafted through the open window showing that neither him or you wished to interrupt it. the soft thumping of your feet kicking against his desk never bothered him. neither did you sitting on his desk, facing away from him and drawing whatever it was you were drawing. he's spotted a few of your sketches, and he has to admit that you are good. he knows talent when he sees it.

slowly, a single thought had crept into his mind as a breeze came through. you've never touched him. now, don't get him wrong! it's not like he cares, it was just a small thing he noticed about you. actually, now that he's thinking about it, you don't seem to touch anyone except for la signora. he wonders why. wait, she isn't the only one scaramouche has witnessed you touching: viktor, arlecchino, and perhaps more that he doesn't know. he knows that you only act the way you do towards him is because of him. he's seen how you act to the others; nice and excited, showing other people your drawings, and just overall chatting about some of your interests. scaramouche wants to ask why you don't do that with him, but he thinks himself an utter fool for thinki—

"whatcha thinking about that's so important to stop working on your paperwork?" your voice cuts sharply through the silence, bringing scaramouche back from going any further down that path of thought. he almost thanks you for such a thing, though he doesn't since that might make it worse. he didn't notice that he stopped scribbling.

"what i was thinking is none of your concern," he spits out. he didn't mean for his voice to be quiet, but the damage was already done. when you didn't respond; when the silence came back, he knew something had changed between you two, though he couldn't figure out what.

====

• as your relationship with the balladeer advanced, the arguing became bickering

• your side became more lighthearted, soft, playful

• scaramouche still seemed to be rude and degrading, though there was always a lilt to his voice that indicated otherwise and his eyes displayed mirth

• soon, you started to talk about your days and interests

• he found out that you truly enjoy drawing and painting, and that you are one of the few who loves the frigid cold of sneznhya

• he found out that there were some food textures that you couldn't stand, and that there were certain fabrics that you couldn't come into contact with

• scaramouche finds all of these little kinks of yours odd, and when he offhandly mentioned it to la signora, she explained that certain humans can't feel, eat, or listen to certain things simply because their brain told them it was bad

• he still didn't quite understand

• however, he respected it

• the first time you did initiate contact with him, however

====

scaramouche had just come back from a mission in fontaine, and was finished talking to one of his subordinates. his mind was occupied with his next, inazuma, and obtaining his mother's gnosis. he was going to become what he couldn't before. he was going to betray the fatui. he was going to betray the tsaritsa. he was going to become a god, finally. he's so close. and he'll be able to show her. show her that he can be more than a puppet—

a weight came crashing down on his back as arms tightly wrapped around his neck, making scaramouche stumble but not fall. he never heard his name being yelled out as he was too isolated in his thoughts. he was about to turn around to give his fury to whoever had dared to touch him, when your voice finally came through.

"scara! holy shit look! i've been waiting for you to come back to show you this! look look look," he couldn't make himself move while you were attached to him, for whatever reason that was, until your weight vanished. only then did he allow himself to turn around and face you, but there was a lingering burn where you had touched him.

and there you were, standing half a foot away from him, jumping up and down with something cupped in your hands. you had looked ecstatic, excited, happy. your smile was forced to ingrain itself in scaramouche's mind simply because of how bright it was. you were saying something, giggling and squealing. the sound of your voice, he decided, was the most pleasant thing he's ever listened to. he wasn't aware of how influential your joyfulness was.

unaware, his lips formed a soft smile for the first time in centuries. for the first time, his posture relaxed. for the first time, his eyes softened when looking at you. he tuned back into what you were saying when you pushed your hands forward, nearly touching his chest(please). he looked down, and in your hands was a dendro vision. he felt his mouth widen just a little more,

'it suits you, y/n.'

no one else was around, no one dared to eavesdrop on you two.

he wanted to feel you again, he wants to hear you giggle again, he wants to hear your voice again.

he was going to betray you.

[bunglegaydogs]

bsd ep 61 spoilers fr xoxo

so uh

that was a fucking wild ride

and it was only 30 seconds long

i have a couple of things to say on this subject

i also cant feel my hands from the cold so im dreading how long its actually gonna take me to write this post

ANYWAYS

Obvious spoilers for episode 61 preview!!!

~~~

So, my first thing was that Aya looks much happier in the anime than the manga lol. I don't know why this is important to me but I felt as if I should say it, because I don't know what exactly her plan is? But it's almost as if there's not a chance of her falling to her death involved in this little stunt that she's pulling.

Anyways.

Next thing to note is that she's clearly intending to land on something - and I saw a post just before that said maybe she misses the table and lands on Atsushi and Aku instead and in turn saves Atsushi from becoming a vampire. Which I do think is plausible - because if I've learned anything from this fucking series it's that if you expect something to happen after a certain thing happens, don't, you're wrong. Don't expect what you're expecting. It will be something completely out of left field that you get slapped across the fucking face with like a chilled fish bro that shit stings from the iciness.

Next, of course, Atsushi and Aku. Now, I don't think that Atsushi's going to become a vampire - it seems pretty long-winded now, plus where would the story go after that? Him and Aku just sit there and stare lifelessly at each other whilst Aya falls from the building? I think, maybe, Aku will see Aya falling, and his instinct will be to save her, because he's been keeping his promise to Atsushi, and maybe he recognises that if she falls and dies, it's "his fault" (it obviously won't be, but by means of association, the fact that he put her up there, he's like damn my bad fr) and go to save her, dropping Atsushi and obviously going to her, but I don't know, maybe that's not plausible at all.

Also, Atsushi is awake here??? Hello? Atsushi wasn't originally awake. Plus, Aku has that bitch hanging by Rashoumon - how has he gotten him awake and why's he pulled him closer? Anyways lol.

Next, FUCKING FYODOR AND NIKOLAI.

So, when I saw the split second of Fyodor, I actually almost did scream this time. Because I immediately recognised that he was in a vehicle of some kind. I, at first, thought that it was a van or a car, but someone else pointed out that it could have been a helicopter.

Ah, okay, looking back on the scene, that lowkey seems plausible.

For Nikolai.

Nikolai's hair is blowing in the wind. So either he's outside and it's windy, or he's in a helicopter or something. But Fyodor's scene looks pretty still. His hair isn't moving, the scenery outside is staying the same. It looks like a sky.

Behind Nikolai, it actually looks like a wall of some kind. Maybe a gate pillar thing. What if he's waiting outside Meursault, and sees Dazai and Chuuya coming out? I don't know.

Disregarding that theory, my guess is they're just trying to trick us into thinking that Nikolai is reacting that way because of Fyodor, or something he said, or him escaping, but I think that they're just two completely different scenes set at the same time maybe? I really don't know. I also don't know what Nikolai could have seen or heard for him to be shocked after smiling, I don't know.

Anyway, Fyodor is looking rather smug. No blood on him. And I don't really know, but we can't see his shoulder properly, but from what we CAN see, there's no wound or blood from where Sigma shot him. BUT that might be unimportant because I don't think Sigma actually shot him in the anime like he did in the manga. Just grazed him. Anyways.

He's looking fantastic for supposedly having just escaped Meursault after nearly drowning, burning his hand, getting shot in the shoulder, AND being covered in blood from where he'd just shot the time manipulator ability user.

He's clearly explaining something.

Also, is it weird if I say that he looks eerily similar to Mori here? Because I can't lie, he's looking an awful lot like him - more than he usually does. Violet eyes, long black hair, manipulative, etc. I don't know. It's also... is it an expression we see on Fyodor a lot? It seems... different. Off. What if this motherfucker's actually just Mori in disguise? LMAO Imagine I'd piss.

See, because, Nikolai isn't a happy surprised, or mildly amused. He just looks... shocked. I don't know.

I'm really looking into this sorry lol.

His hair's a bit messier than usual. Which, you know, valid, considering what's just happened. But... everything else is fine. No blood, no wounds, no anything. He's normal. So why is his hair a bit messier? Is it important or am I just looking too much into it? Maybe he was in a helicopter with Nikolai, or in a windy place. Also, just skimmed through episode 10, ignore me about the blood, he's apparently already wiped it off after he shot the bitch lol okay Mr. fucking hygiene.

Anyways, yeah, his shoulder has a rip in the shirt. I know we can barely see his shoulder in the clip we've been gifted with, but the rip is pretty high up. And, even after having a pretend mental breakdown, being drowned almost, getting shot, etc. Even after all of that, his hair does not look messy. WHY IS THIS SO IMPORTANT TO ME, I DON'T KNOW. I LOOK FOR THE SMALL THINGS I'M SORRY.

There's going to be a perfectly reasonable explanation for this and I'm just chatting shit.

Anyways.

I don't actually know what the fuck is happening here. I really don't. I'm just clutching at straws to preserve what little of my sanity Bungou Stray Dogs has left me with. I don't know. The way Fyodor is talking and just his expression doesn't sit right with me. It feels more like the way Dazai and Mori sometimes talk when they like know that they're right or explaining something or predicting or something, do you get what I mean? No? Okay. LMAO.

So, my next thing is of course the two fucking Fuku's because I lowkey wanted to scream when I saw Fukuzawa was not dead. I'm glad we have that confirmation - can I ask where the fuck the 'One Order' has gone though? Because Fukuchi's not holding onto it anymore. His arms bleeding. His neck is pouring with blood (fresh wound), but from what? Fukuzawa hasn't even took the sword out of him yet. How has he gotten sliced up already? He doesn't have any weapons on him. Neither does Fukuzawa. And, to me, it looks like Fukuzawa's just stood up or something.

And Fukuchi's reaching for something.

He's reaching out for something, and Fukuzawa has his back on him. Fukuchi looks enraged before he leaps at Fukuzawa, hand outstretched, maybe to grab Amenogozen, maybe not. But Fukuzawa is alarmed, and turns around, ripping the sword out of his fucking abdomen.

I don't know. The way Fukuchi ran towards him seemed... desperate. He seems like he's losing. His last resort. I don't know. It's just not very Fukuchi to charge towards him so clumsily and try and grab something the way he tries.

And again, why is Fukuchi's arm bleeding, and why is he sporting a rather Aku-type injury on his neck? Because it certainly seems that it wasn't Fukuzawa who caused that - he had his back turned and the only weapon he has is currently wedged deep inside of his stomach. Maybe it was Tecchour from afar. Maybe it was Tachihara manipulating metal. Maybe it was Kyouka. Maybe it was Yosano. Who knows. Maybe it was Fukuzawa.

Right okay so I've just skimmed through the episode again and Fukuzawa doesn't even have the fucking sword inside of him to begin with, so half of my rambling there has been rendered useless lol.

Anyways, and more importantly, where the fuck is 'One Order'?

It's no longer in Fukuchi's hand or ear. What the fuck?

His cape is missing. One Order is missing. Fukuzawa has somehow acquired a sword through his abdomen. Fukuchi is injured from his neck and arm. He's angry. Fukuzawa had his back turned. Fukuchi seems desperate for something.

Man, this is like a fucking riddle.

So, yes. Fukuzawa (quite easily, actually) rips Amenogozen out of himself and makes to swing for Fukuchi, who is without any weapons, injured, angry, and seemingly desperate.

Fuck, the sakura petals and the implication of Fukuzawa using Fukuchi's own sword to kill him, after fighting with him so many times oh my GOD I could get more into this but I won't, I won't. (Maybe later fr)

He seems pretty determined, dead-set on slashing this bitch. However, he becomes shocked at something, and not just a normal shock. That's an "Oh, fuck." shock. Then, it cuts to Fukuchi fucking smiling.

Smiling and reaching a hand out to Fukuzawa. We don't see his eyes. We only see his smile. A portion of his hand. The sakura petals. AAAA I'm so fucking sick.

Then, of course. We get a flashback. They're fighting. And for just a split second, you can see a smile on Fukuzawas face. Literally such a minuscule fucking thing.

And then it cuts to them now. And I don't mean now as in, middle of battle now, nor do I mean prior to their fight now. I mean, now. I don't know where now is or how it came to be, but they're obviously in their current attire. And you can see the wound on Fukuzawa's back. You can literally see it. So, whether they both die and this is some sort of heaven sequence, or something happens and they clash inside Amenogozen, and time is slowed or something, I don't know.

Does a sword count as a subordinate to Fukuzawa? Because if so, he can utilize that sword and manipulate it to his heart's content.

Anyways, it's peaceful. There's two cups of tea on a bench ahead of them. There's a fuzzy sort of outline to everything, maybe trying to make us assume that it's a flashback, when it is, in actuality, not. Unless, they've had a fight very similar to this one, in the same attire, but at a different time (obviously) and it wasn't fatal (again, obviously).

Now, this was honestly just me trying to put the preview in order in my head and I thought other people might like to read my thoughts lol.

Long story short, there was a lot to unpack here, and I think a lot of hidden meanings and misdirections, trying to make us think one thing but in fact it's going another way.

Anyways, have a lovely day/night! Thank you for reading ^^

(Wow, I did not mention Soukoku or Chuuya and Dazai ONCE in this post (shush I mentioned Dazai before that doesn't count) and yes I am hoping that they showed us nothing in this preview because they're fine and safe and going to pull something off and be very surprising but we can only dream and fuck I'm dreaming so hard I'm DELUSIONAL bro)

[hello-nichya-here]

not a shipping ask but more a country-based,

i applied for exchange and decided to stay in Europe (for now, purposefully vague for privacy) and there was an option to go to Brazil which some people choose.

i remember you saying in one separate ask that Brazil is truly a country that you must prepare for properly before going there and i am curious about that? if you have already replied please just link me xoxo

Here's the things you absolutely gotta know before moving to Brazil:

1 - Unless you're a literal refugee of war or of a country that is absolutely economically destroyed or you are OBSCENELY rich, you don't actually want to do that. Go live literally anywhere else.

Here's the things you absolutely gotta know before you visit Brazil.

1 - The heat WILL get very close to killing you, or at the very least make you wish you were dead. Yes, even during winter. People end up in the hospital because of it all the time. Unless a brazilian specifically told you "Bring warm clothes when going to this place at this time of the year" assume you'll forget what cold weather even is, and even then you should still bring summer clothes just in case.

2 - Trying to get a tan is suicide. Focus on protecting yourself from the sun, especially at the beach. Again, people end up at the hospital for that stuff all time - severe burns, fever, and anything that touches your skin WILL hurt like a bitch.

3 - Mosquitos. Mosquitos everywhere. Lots of them transmiting diseases that will make all your bones hurt and your guts bleed. Depending on what part of the country you're visiting you might even have to get a ton of vaccines before being allowed there.

4 - If you see literally any animal species you're not familiar with, avoid it. Depending on the region of the country, stay the fuck away from any spider, even a tiny one that looks harmless. If you're going into a forest region, especially the amazon, assume everything there can and will kill you.

5 - If you visit the amazon or the pantanal, do not go on your own. You're not Indiana Jones. You WILL get lost and die. Avoid any and all shady tourist guides, even if you can't really explain why you think they're shady, unless you want to get kidnapped. Do NOT get into any river without double-checking with someone familiar with the region if that particular one is free of any fish that can kill you AND isn't guaranteed to sweep you away until you drown.

6 - Do not walk around wearing anything expensive or talking/texting/doing anything on your phone, and if you have a bag, purse or backpack, keep it very close to you at all times. If someone is trying to rob you, shut up and give them all they're asking for. This tip is extra important if you're going to Rio de Janeiro.

7 - If you want to go to a non-pacified favela: Don't.

8 - If you want to voice your opinion about Brazil's politics to a brazilian you just met: Don't.

9 - If you want to go out at night by yourself: DON'T.

10 - If you go to Rio, trying asking a brazilian stuff like "How much does a taxi from the airport to the hotel usually cost?" or keep an eye on the GPS if you're taking an uber to make sure the driver isn't deliberately taking a longer path. Cariocas are infamous for finding ways of taking a bit of extra money from gringos that don't know any better.

11 - EVERYTHING IS EXPENSIVE AS FUCK. Yes, even if your country's money is worth a million times more than Brazil's money.

12 - If you're going to a beach, specially in the northeast of the country, and there's no one else around, do NOT go in the water unless you want to be eaten by a shark.

13 - If you're not basically a proffesional at surfing and want to go practice in the beaches that have the biggest waves: Don't. If you want to try your luck on amazonian waters: DON'T.

14 - If you're going to São Paulo, prepare to be stuck in traffic for a long, long, long, LONG time.

15 - If you want/need to go to the cops for literally any reason, especially in places like Rio, talk to a brazilian first (friend, host, lady at the hotel check in) and tell them what the problem is. A lot of the police forces here can be useless at best and VERY hostile towards any living at worst, so going to a local first so they can either go to the police station with you or solve your problem without getting the cops involved at all is often the safest choice.

16 - If you've ever been to Argentina before, say you like Brazil more even if it's a lie.

17 - If you went to São Paulo after going to Rio, say to everyone there that you like São Paulo more. If you went to Rio after having already been to São Paulo, say to everyone there you like Rio more.

18 - Brazilians WILL try to trick you into saying obscene stuff while trying to teach you a few words in portuguese. Double-check everything you were taught before saying it to a stranger.

[gregoftom]

i don't really know how to explain myself properly but i feel like some people are really concerned about Getting A Good Grade In Succession to the point where they've adopted a very cynical view of tg's relationship because being too earnest about them is ~not the point of the show~ or w/e. which is funny because every other relationship in the show is allowed to be nuanced but not theirs i guess? so you have people going "oh their relationship was only ever about them using each other from the start" when that's demonstrably not true and like. i have really mixed feelings about this season so far and i feel like anything could happen with them by virtue of weird writing choices and i hope with all my heart this doesn't end up being the case but even if the finale tries to diminish the depth of their relationship i don't understand the point of Us acting like there was never anything deeper there? but anyway, all this too say that i agree w/ you that the way people are very cynical and dismissive abt tg specifically has rubbed me the wrong way and thank u for your service ❤️

hiii sweet anon!

A GOOD GRADE IN SUCCESSION ASHAKJSA god honestly, i hear you.

i'm getting real tired of this "point of the show" shit bc it's like. just because tg isn't "the point", isn't a main focal plot [which it is, or at least is part of it], isn't integral to character development [which it is too; without tom greg would not be where he is now which is at a point where he actually could be seriously considered as a fucking CEO, without greg tom wouldn't have learned any self respect or self worth/we would never have been able to see him express himself beyond servitude towards shiv], it doesn't mean it can't be explored and considered as a serious part of the show?

media is created for us to enjoy. yes it's there to interpret and discuss but it doesn't always have to be that way? literally you can watch the show just for tomgreg and that is A OKAY. why? because you don't have to justify why you like something! surprise! and yeah i've noticed that too - other relationships get to be seen as nuanced, but not tg i guess. idk why, seeing as its dynamic is something to be studied under a microscope and fun to not only shippers but normies too lmao. clearly there is something more interesting to it than just, oh it's mutual corporate climbing.

exactly! there's even more contexts provided by the scripts, THE SACRED TEXTS lol that provide us with more knowledge and insight into the feelings of these characters, that show us that their relationship goes beyond using each other. there is an element of that of course, but that's not all they are. why reduce them to that when so very clearly on paper we are affirmed of what we thought we could read textually on the screen? it just baffles me.

i'm hoping too anon, like A Lot. from the looks of the trailer i have a. i have a little bit of hope. even if say, tom has to choose between greg and shiv, if he chooses shiv and has visible trouble with it, like it takes him time, it plagues him, it takes effort, it feels like a real decision affecting his life, like. that counts for something you know? that would, to me, not diminish his relationship with greg. obviously it would be heartbreaking after how loyal greg has been to tom, but the very fact that it would be difficult to tom would mean that greg is important to him in some fashion, and the show would be at least acknowledging it by doing that. like, it's that easy. i ain't asking for much. i know what i'd like, but what i would be satisfied/settle with, well i think the bar is reasonable, you know?

i'm glad you understand me! i mean, who knows maybe some of it is people trying to go on the defensive like, "it's the hope that kills you" so they are trying not to have any by lessening it, saying oh there was nothing there, there was no romance, nothing positive, it was all for mutual professional gain and that's it. but like, personally that doesn't work for me. i think you should at least acknowledge its importance otherwise we're regressing right back to the oh it's a mlm ship? never mind then. i'm not about that, i guess.

thanks for the message buddy god speed <3

[sysmedsaresexist]

to elaborate on WHY i use endogenic: because i'm NOT professionally diagnosed yet, and i'm worried about the harm i could cause if it does end up somehow being a misdiagnosis. i dont want to talk about my experiences and label them as being apart of a certain thing if, in the end, its not. but ironically, i still fear the same if i label myself endogenic. hope this explains a bit!

Friendo, don't overthink it so hard, really, the vast majority of the community isn't properly and professionally diagnosed, and the reasons are endless and valid (except for ableist reasons like, "ew, I'm not disordered")

Listen, there is a MASSIVE difference between misinterpreting symptoms/experiences and faking or lying

BPD and schizophrenia are the most common misdiagnoses for DID. Do we blame and shame people misdiagnosed (self DX or otherwise) with those when they realize it's something else? Do we get angry at those that realize they were never a system at all? Do we bash on endogenic systems that realize they actually have DID? Hell, no, and I'll fuck a bitch up if I ever see any of this, I'm just happy for anyone that gets even a small step closer to figuring themselves out

It's when you're hellbent on one thing and you lose sight of symptoms that don't necessarily fit that one thing that there's a problem

When you join a community in good faith looking for answers and support, there is no judgement for misdiagnosis, and your experiences based on being open to other possible explanations for symptoms becomes INVALUABLE to that community

If you turn out to have DID or BPD or literally anything, you become a resource for those communities

I get asks daily about "is this normal," "what does this symptom mean," "how do you tell the difference between this and that." Who better to answer that than someone who went through the same scenario? Discerning between self expression and identity, various symptoms and presentations, different ways of struggling. If I turned out to have schizophrenia after all this, and you turned out to have DID, combined, we're going to help someone figure themselves out (and BOY, I'd have some stories to share).

What harm could you possibly do by looking for answers?

If you're going to take the endogenic label, the only things I suggest are that you try to be mindful of the ableism and misinformation that underlines a lot of conversations in those communities, try to correct where you can, and try to encourage people with questions about other possible diagnoses to go seek answers in those communities-- not for their friends to take best guesses at it

Most important of all, consistently monitor yourself and your symptoms-- don't deny and brush under the rug when you're struggling

This blog has always been, and always be, open to any and all that want to comment and interact, because every experience matters and adds to the conversation

The community I want to foster is one full of people just trying to find answers and get through life

Whatever you end up having, so long as we're on the same page that DID is a childhood trauma disorder (because it is), you're welcome in my community, with whatever label you choose (and from there, I do my best to monitor the interactions of different labels in my followers-- my priority for safety will always be those with DID/OSDD over other labels)

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Though I might still be over here, silently judging and remembering this meme I made forever ago, but you can't make anyone be ready to talk about that

Edit: also, for the other half of this ask, it's totally normal not to remember things until you're much older and out of the situation

[ace-thinks]

how do i know if I wrote my main female character as asexual properly?

Hey! This is an interesting question, and a little tricky to answer without context, but here are some things that come to mind:

How does her asexuality come up?

Is it unspoken? If so, then even though you may personally know she's ace, that may not be clear to the reader. Since asexuality can't really be "demonstrated" through actions the way other queer identities can be, it's important to actually say the word "ace" or "asexual" when you have an ace character.

Is there a "coming out" moment? If so, what does it look like? For a lot of ace people, coming out can involve a long (and oftentimes awkward) explanation of what asexuality means since it's still largely misunderstood. If you go that route in your story, you need to be extremely careful about how you explain asexuality from the POV of your character. Remember, although everyone experiences asexuality differently, there are some core truths about what asexuality is (and isn't) and you need to make sure you understand those if you plan to explain it in your story.

How does her asexuality show up?

Is asexuality framed as a tragedy/defect/shorthand for otherness? If your character mourns her asexuality without ever reaching a point of positivity or acceptance in the story, then this could feed into a harmful narrative that exists around asexuality—which is that all ace people are (or should be) sad about never getting to experience "love."

Likewise, if your character's aceness is wrapped up in her being an alien/robot/some other type of non-human entity, that could feed into the idea that ace people are inherently inhuman or that aceness is itself an alien trait.

If your character does happen to be "inhuman" in some way, ask yourself why you're making her ace. Is it to further emphasize the fact that she's different? If so, there are likely better ways to communicate that fact without involving asexuality.

Does acephobia play a role in the story? If so, why? Unless you want to totally ground your story in reality, you can decide whether or not discrimination and prejudice exist in your world. If you decide to bring those into your narrative, make sure you're doing it with purpose. What is it adding to your story? Can that be achieved without involving acephobia?

For ace readers, seeing stories that include asexuality without negativity can be like a breath of fresh air. For allo readers, seeing asexuality normalized in stories can help them start to see it as something to be accepted rather than questioned/ridiculed. If acephobia isn't critical to your plot, consider leaving it out.

Is asexuality the point of her character? Being ace is a relevant part of our identities, but it's not the point of who we are as people. Think about how your character's friends would describe her outside of her orientation. If all they'd be able to say is "she's the ace one," then try to flesh her out more. Make her a full person with goals, flaws, quirks, etc. One-dimensional characters tend to feel more like tokens than genuine representation.

Also, unless her asexuality is integral to the plot (like maybe she's learning to accept herself, navigating relationships, etc.) she likely wouldn't have much reason to talk about it that often. People who are new to the identity tend to bring it up a lot since it's still fresh, and some "elder aces" might still crack the occasional joke about it, but for the most part it's not a huge point of conversation. If you're mentioning your character's asexuality repeatedly in your story, make sure you have a good reason to—otherwise it could start to feel forced and unnatural.

That's all I got off the top of my head, but I welcome thoughts from other aces out there!