#i can't relate to the relationship of it and yet every single line is like holy shit that's what i feel like

[patroclusdefencesquad]

does anyone else listen to ruin by the amazing devil and no matter the circumstances immediately feel like crying when madeleine sings "i will bring you ruin, in everything i do"

[izukuisbaby]

⊹˚.⋆ OUR FAVOURITE DILFS WITH A FAMOUS S/O - JUJUTSU KAISEN

℘. flora's notes : I've had this idea forever but I couldn't manage to write it UNTIL NOW. my idea was that reader is a model so it's kind of based on that, though you are free to be famous for whatever reason u want 💀

℘. send me a request ! : i would love to write this for other jjk characters (especially TOJI) but please give me ideas cuz i can't find anything :((

℘. gn, male, female reader 💓

m.list | comment and reblog if you enjoyed ! i am not posting at peek hours i would rly appreciate it if u could reblog w related tags 🥰

★ 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎

℘. he 100% stalked you on your socials and knew everything about you

℘. it's also very likely that he slid into your DMs shamelessly

℘. something cringe like : " what a pretty human in a pretty restaurant, we should go there together sometime 😏"

℘. but we all know this mf, he didn't stop at ONE DM

℘. no, his name is elegantly followed by "9+ messages" all of them being cringe pick up lines to beg you to go on a date with him 😍

℘. and you eventually agreed but it was mostly for him to leave you in peace

℘. he was convinced you'd fall for his charms and unfortunately, he was right... can't blame you I would too

℘. and since your first kiss - which was an officialization of your relationship to him - he would not shut up about it

℘. everytime y'all are out in public he makes it clear he's your boyfriend for the paparazzis

℘. gojo loves attention... so he LOVES paparazzis

℘. he thinks y'all are the most goal couple to exist and brags about it

℘. "y/n, can you imagine what other people must think of us : "the strongest and the most famous (your job of choice), they were meant to be"

℘. you have 100% your own ship name and fanpages, you're labeled as the "hot couple" who is edited on tik tok 24/7

℘. I don't think I insisted enough on how he BOASTS about dating you to whoever shows a spark of interest in his life

℘. the poor nanami hears about it every second of the day and is FED UP with it, but his last straw was when gojo was talking about you to a curse they were suppose to eliminate...

℘. he has you and him on a fun fair date as a wallpaper and purposely leaves his phone on during meetings so everyone can see he's dating you... and also to get yet another occasion to brag

⊹

★ 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎

℘. HE WOULD BE SO SUPPORTIVE

℘. he will attend all of your shows and interviews, always on the front row. sometimes walking for a show can be pretty stressful for you but seeing his angel face calms you down and gives you back your confidence in an instant <3

℘. ... he's very active on LinkedIn and he reposts your achievements/front pages with a professional yet sweet and admirative commentary

℘. he likes to go backstage before your shows so he can give you one last forehead kiss and compliment

℘. never hesitates to tell paparazzis to back off, he doesn't like his privacy invaded but he will gladly take pictures of you with a fan for them

℘. his favourite photo that he has everywhere is one a selfie you took before a show with a world renowned brand. you looked so stunning and confident, it never fails to make him smile when he looks at it

℘. i feel like he didn't really know you, just saw you from one or two front pages but it didn't click until you told him you were a (your job)

℘. i don't know why but i think you would have met on a dating app 😭 like nanami is tired of being single and he told gojo about it WHO OBVIOUSLY WAS KIN ON HELPING ! and he got to discover your personality first, which is the most precious part of you in his opinion

℘. because yes you ARE attractive but no one but him knows the part of you that is the most beautiful and he loves that

℘. i think he can't help but be a bit jealous that people simp over you so he would never refuse to take a cute picture for the world to see

℘. on your third date, he asked you to be his partner and gave you a ring as an officialization. since them, you've been wearing it as a lucky charm and you never take it off

© izukuisbaby. comments appreciated ! although do not modify, translate, copy, claim as your own or repost on any app/platform/social media (this applies to all of my content)

[biscuitboba]

Prepare for a very long wordvomits from yours truly (or just ignore)

The thing about me being so frickin obsessed with luffy and zoro's relationship is that... i just think they really are that compatible and perfect for each other in a way that they just, makes sense 

Like yeah i think one or two ships involving zoro and luffy (other than zolu/luzo) are cute or at least ok, but like the amount of love i have for them is like dust compared to my love for zolu:"D And if i'm being reallyy honest, personally i can't really imagine zoro being with someone else that's not luffy IF luffy is present in his life and vice versa?, like for example i think *insert other luffy ship* is cute, but like zoro can't be present in luffy's life for that ship to actually work for me?? So it's gotta be an alternative universe where they don't meet... I can appreciate the fanarts of the other luffy and zoro ships though, as long as they are not insanely wayyy too out of character?? (i just don't actively seek out content of ships that i'm not crazy about)

Not to state the obvious but luffy is my favorite character in one piece:) and right after him, unsurprisingly it's zoro (zoro used to be my number one when i was younger but now he is number two, but i'm sure zoro is fine with me loving his captain just a little bit more, haha)

When it comes to the ships involving my favorite character(s)... i am actually suuuper picky about it? i have to think very deeply about it, like i only want what's best for them, but also the best for the other person too cuz it can't be one sided! And i literally love both luffy and zoro almost equally? (actually i always love the two characters that i ship cuz i can't ship my favorite character with someone that i dislike) With zoro and luffy i've done a lot of thinking. Like, a lot. I thought about all of their potential love interests, every single one of them, but always arrived at the same conclusion that no one completes them the way they complete each other. Proof? Plz just scroll through my tumblr #zolu or #luzo i literally only talk about their relationship😭 They really are the most perfect person for each other. It's almost like they were made for each other? Everything about them, their principles, their personalites, they just fits

Like they are so insane, because at a surface level they can be interpreted as just platonic (which is a completely fine interpretation for the non zolu people out there!), but when you try to look more into it, on a deeper level, looking at every part of their interactions while considering their characterizations, motivations et cetera, like everything just clicks. Their devotion towards each other, all the little things they say and do relating to each other. They are best friends, they are the captain and the first mate, and maybe they are also something a lil bit more? Sometimes i don't even think i can label their relationship, cause from the outside… their relationship looks so simple, yet not without depth (so much depth!) and nuance. With zolu, you either get them or don't get them at all. One thing for sure is that they work really well together!!

Also, everytime i think about zolu as just friends.. but then i compare my relationship with my best friend(s) to luffy and zoro's relationship... and i don't know, if my best friend treats me the way zoro and luffy treat each other? I fear i will have to drop the "what are we?" question. I'm so serious, like that man? zoro?? He is enamored. Completely whipped- bewitched, body and soul. While on luffy's side, his way of expressing love is more subtle, but i've talked about that before here.

They say there's a thin line between love and hate... but there's also a thin line between platonic and romantic love, and maybe that's why one of my favorite tropes in ships is the one where they start out as friends... (harurin from free, bakudeku, pegoryu, fluri, soriku, cloti, cleon, kimron, percabeth, kataang, lumity, appledash, katyana, korrasami, harlivy, etc #friendstolovers ftw!)

Like luffy and zoro... The god personified and the non believer. Oda is literally so insane for that..

One is very carefree and easy to put his trust in others. And the other is the more rigid one and needs to slowly build his trust. One is the more emotional one. The other is the stoic and more composed one. They share the same values, the same braincells, they can communicate and understand each other even without having to say much.

Their colors complement each other, their zodiac signs are compatible, their personalites can be quite contrasting but they actually blend perfectly. They are different but also the same. No one makes zoro smile as much as luffy, no one else luffy likes to lean on as much as he likes to lean and rely on zoro. No one makes zoro worry as much as luffy, even though luffy himself is very strong. No one luffy trusts with his crew as much as he trusts them with zoro, and his nakama means everything to luffy. They are the happiest when they are together.. fighting side by side, laughing with each other, talking with each other... They respect and understand each other the most. They are just so insane and i am also insane and-

They are the only two strawhats with twin numbers for their birth dates and months. The only two strawhats with CoC. The only two strawhats fighting for the greatest titles (pirate king and world's greatest swordsman respectively) they are the only two strawhats with a lot of parallels (let it be between each other like the hero talk in fishman island, or with the other captains and their first mates, which i kinda(?) have talked about before, here).

Zoro's the only member of his crew that luffy actually tries to find (he doesn’t stumble upon him like how he does with the rest of the strawhats) Zoro is the first person in canon that we see luffy enthusiastically feel it's okay to share his meal with. The first person outside of his family (i consider shanks and his crew, dadan, and makino as part of his found family!) that he cries and worries for (baratie arc). Zoro is the first person that he mentions when he splits up with his crew and the first one he calls whenever they meet again (alabasta, skypiea, punk hazard, zou, etc)

Zoro is luffy's anchor especially during difficult times (e.g. water7), he is luffy's voice of reason (e.g. pre-egghead), and luffy often listens to him (like when zoro gives luffy his assessment of a situation and how he thinks they should handle the situation and luffy immediately agrees to his plan)

And kinda random but meat is like the perfect food for beer! luffy's perfect for zoro!! Meat paired with the right beer can amplify each other's flavors. Even their favorite food (luffy) and drink (zoro) complement each other, like oda are you serious?? and the crazy thing is i'm pretty sure i haven't written down all the things that make me crazy about them

From their deal in shells town, then BOOM! zoro's sacrifice in thriller bark, all the way to luffy's blush, the iconic hug, and whatever tf that "if you're gonna invite our captain to hell, i'll come along as well" // "sorry... now you have no reason to die" bs in wano

Like how can i be normal about the two characters whose dreams have already merged into one that they can no longer achieve their dreams without each other by their side? i'm on my knees crying thinking about the bond between luffy and zoro-

[chaifootsteps]

that post about triangulation gave me the chills

because that's what the show has become basically since s2 started. any time a third party is brought in to judge they always come down in Stolas' favor

Loona talks to Via in Seeing Stars? she should cut her dad some slack for a repeat pattern of behavior

Blitzo has a heart to heart with Fizz in Oops about how Stolas looks down on him? Fizz immediately takes up for Stolas and even pulls the total BS 'if you judge royalty you're as bad as them' liberal line of thinking on Striker

Blitzo reads Stolas for filth? he gets an invite to Verosika's party where she nonstop empathizes with him despite Stolas talking trash about her and everyone there behind her back

and the thing is ever single time it happens the deck is blatantly stacked so Stolas can come out looking better. it's either stuff being left out or everyone involved being OOC.

Loona has no reason to think anything of Stolas outside of 'man my adoptive father is forced to sleep with so we can pay rent', yet she gives Via this speech full of platitudes about why Stolas is trying is enough (and then doesn't cut Blitzo any slack, so it's not like she's saying this because she's learnt anything about her own relationship with her father - it's just here to benefit Stolas)

When talking to Fizz Blitzo rightly notes it's a fetish to Stolas - but the writers also make him bring up a bunch of phone calls that happened totally offscreen to make Stolas look better. there's plenty of things he could tell Fizz but he's never allowed to just so the writers can make him look cynical for doubting Stolas

Verosika is the straightest example of triangulation. she's biased against Blitzo to the point she'll believe when anyone says anything about him, but the writers never allow her to find out Stolas was never 'dating' Blitzo but coercing him into sex instead. her projecting all her baggage onto Stolas is barely even mentioned in the episode as being a problem when she inserts herself into the scenario - the viewers are supposed to side with her 'it starts with saying good for him' line despite how little sense that makes. it contradicts the episode's whole thesis that it's OK for her to be mad at Blitzo for awhile - but Blitzo can't be mad Stolas went and made out with someone else right in front of him the night after he told Blitzo he supposedly cared very deeply for him

that's why this isn't just garbage but infruriating. the whole universe is distorted to favor Stolas and everyone's characterization suffers as a result because they all have to take a bunch of stupid pills in every scenario instead of talking plainly about all the shit Stolas has pulled. Loona and Fizz especially should show some care for Blitzo over Stolas, but they don't. and Blitzo is never allowed to tell anyone else just how badly Stolas screwed him over so they can keep gaslighting him that he's the problem

it's probably also why more of the audience is turning on Stolas. most people can't relate to having a hitman called on them or any of the cartoonish things Stella does

but most people sure can relate to having had an argument with an ex partner or friend and feeling like they want to scream because said partner/friend manipulates everyone around them into taking their side or pressuring them to 'own up' and 'apologize', likely in just the same ways that Stolas does

what the show is putting Blitzo through is just dehumanizing and depressing. his feelings don't matter, how he's been treated doesn't matter. because we're just supposed to accept that he's dirt not worth scraping of Stolas' bird claws, whereas Stolas is pure and good and has only made transgressions so minor they don't even warrant mentioning. and the only way the show will treat him as worthy of anything is if he gives Stolas unconditional love while getting nothing in return

You know what? I have nothing to add to this. You took every last word right out of my mouth.

[honeytonedhottie]

trusting and betting on urself⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🫧

keep promises that u make to urself : just like how if u know someone who continuously makes promises to do something, yet they never act upon it, you won't trust that person or believe them if they promise u something else. this is also the same with urself. ur new years resolutions? ur goals that you've had for a while but never ever did? all those promises that you've made to yourself and the ones that you haven't followed up on will lessen trust with urself. do what u say you'll do. "stand on business" and if u know that u won't be able to deliver or do what u say you would, dont say it. dont tell urself promises that u won't be able to keep. once u start keeping ur own promises, you'll start to build trust within urself.

hold yourself accountable : just a quick disclaimer but when i say holding urself accountable i do NOT mean punishing urself!! when u find urself falling into old and fruitless patterns you need to hold urself accountable and make sure that u straighten up. the thing about our relationship with self is that a relationship needs BOUNDARIES. you need to set boundaries with urself. what will u or what will u not do? ur non-negotiables?

and when u find urself crossing boundaries within yourself take the BIGGEST step back. the key to forming a healthy relationship with urself is to balance being strict and gentle with urself. strict in the sense that ur the only one that can get u to where u wanna be, and gentle in the sense that ur best won't look the same every single day and u should also listen to urself and what u want, without having to compromise on ur boundaries. kind of finding that middle line is important, bcuz when we're too lenient with ourselves, we get too comfortable and that leads me into my next point...

where growth begins : u cannot expect to grow if ur too comfortable and honestly, this is why most people stay stagnant. its bcuz being comfortable FEELS GOOD. but growth will almost never happen when ur comfortable, on the contrary growth can only happen outside of ur comfort zone. if u want better things for urself, ur simply gonna have to DO BETTER.

the importance of ur self concept : even if ur not familiar with or u dont practice conscious manifesting/law of assumption, i think that working on ur self concept can still be such a fruitful thing to do. i say this because self concept is the way that u view urself in relation to ur desires/goals. its seeing urself as worthy and powerful, and truly grasping ur potential to do great things. a way to start with ur self concept is with affirmations! start telling urself about urself in a positive connotation. you're unstoppable <3

putting it into practice : start small, challenge urself a little bit every day. do one hard thing a day, doing so will build ur confidence bcuz u won't be so daunted by ur big goals when you've already done so many hard things. when u see something challenging instead of thinking "oh i can't do this" you'll have confidence in urself and what u are capable of. oftentimes when we have goals, we kick ourselves out of rooms before we've even tried to get in them bcuz we think "im not good enough" or "im not worthy" which isnt true at ALL. dont shoot urself in the foot. thats self sabotage. and thats not hot.

motivating urself : if u remind urself of your "why" then you'll have reason to stay consistent and truly try. i recommend asking urself the tougher questions, like "what do i want out of my life?" or "am i truly happy and if not what can i do to get there?" once you've decided what u want out of life make a VISION BOARD and actively pursue your dreams. u can't actively pursue something if u dont know what it is. so i advise u to remind urself whenever u feel that u need it of your "why", your driving cause. having that motivation, and actively pursuing and keeping the promises that u make to urself -> will then build ur confidence in yourself to the point where your betting on urself bcuz u know that no matter what cards you are dealt, you'll prosper.

so just to wrap things up, an overview ; start keeping ur promises -> be strict -> get comfy being uncomfy -> say ur self concept affirmations -> apply -> remind

[soo-won]

Letting go - Chapter 259

One thing this chapter makes me think about a lot is, what does "letting go" really mean? Is it something to absolutely aim for? and where does Hak position himself in relation to it today?

Hak is worried above all about the dragons right now, but we know well that he's also making a reference to his experience with Soo-won here. After all, even if Zeno did talk about forgetting them, he never said anything about "letting go" specifically. To let go is however very much something he said word for word about Soo-won in the past (chapter 153). If it wasn't already obvious enough, Hak in his turn makes the parallel between what happened with Soo-won and what is happening now with Zeno.

The end of chapter 153 hinted that even if Hak hasn't reached the point where he can let go of Soo-won yet, this is something that will eventually happen down the road thanks to Yona. And how can we not wish it for him? He suffers from it, it makes him angry, depressed, frustrated, it makes him grieve. Hak has always struggled from Soo-won's betrayal, he first tried to repress the feelings, then started walking a long road of trying to reconnect with and make sense of them, the present and their past together. He was slowly healing, he started being content with having a role in the sky tribe as long as the Yona and the hhb were with him. It was all for the best, everyone was walking in the same direction.

And then chapter 243 happened.

To be honest, when I read chapter 259 I couldn't help but have mixed feelings about this. After all, chapter 243 happened just one year ago, and this chapter devastated me like no story had ever before. This past year I thought hard about chapter 243, I tried to make sense of it in multiple ways and get over the devastation it made me go through. I also needed time, a lot of discussions with friends and the distance to see that yes, it is a chapter where both Soo-won and Hak are at their worst emotionally, and they both give up (among many other things but this isn't a ch243 post) but it won't be the end, it's them both failing to get out of this maze. But I just couldn't accept it. I felt angry. That Hak simply accepted how Soo-won, in a way, pushes him away again and the fact Soo-won will die, be replaced, and there is no hope for him. That he didn't contradict Soo-won saying the country will be fine without him, that this is their goodbye and it's over for them. That Hak will forget what they shared in chapter 61. That Hak is letting go and moving on.

So technically speaking I should be more than happy with chapter 259 and Hak saying he sucks at forgetting and letting go! But well, I got fond of chapter 243 with time. I spent so much time thinking and discussing about it, to engage with it, to question every line and to give them a meaning that slowly started to make more and more sense to me. It became precious to me. Yes I'm this dramatic over a single manga chapter but you have to understand the degree of emotional turmoil it made me go through, it was that bad! Anyway,

So when I read chapter 259, while I feel validated and relieved, I can't also can't help but think "But then, what was chapter 243 for?" What did it change in Soo-won and Hak's relationship? Does it not matter at all anymore because anyway Hak said sike and he actually just can't forget and let go? I can't accept this either. And I don't think that's the case.

And in a way, Hak did let go. But forgetting his dream of walking side by side with Soowon as his equal, on the same path, is different than forgetting Soowon whatsoever. Hak decides he won't remember it anymore and takes a different path. But what does it entail? What does he keep and embrace and what did he let go?

The vow of 10 years that tied Soo-won to the people following him, and the vow of 10 years that tied Hak to him. The formers cling to it, not taking into consideration Soo-won's true self and his ability to change. It chains him. It forces him to act not as his real self, but as the ideal image they project on him. They don't respect what the real Soowon wants, they try to make him the Soo-won that /they/ want. Soo-won changed from 10 years ago and corresponds to neither their ideal, neither Hak's. That's why it was so violent for Hak in 243. Hak couldn't see Soo-won's own circumstances, experience and current struggles and even less accept them. But in chapter 251, Hak doesn't let this vow chain them anymore, and in a way, that helped him gain confidence in the entirety of their history together instead of clinging into one aspect of it, no matter how precious it is to him. So I believe Hak needed chapter 243 to realize he was again projecting on Soo-won, and he needed to part ways to put things into perspective right now with the Zeno plot, so for that it's a good thing.

Still, when I put chapter 243 and 259 together, when Hak said he would forget his past vow to Soo-won and that there was no need to remember it anymore, I still think it was also him giving up, not having the strength to fight back because yeah, what can Hak or Soo-won even do about the Crimson Illness? Soo-won himself is convinced he will die, that he will be replaced and things will be perfectly fine without him, and so that he has to let go of Yona and Hak because what they want is the dragons, not him. He's not completely wrong, but this is not taking into account that both of them still care for Soo-won and want him to be there. That it's not about being replaceable or not, that they can care for the dragons and still want Soo-won to live for no other reason than because he is Soo-won. This is something Hak and Soo-won have both been struggling with since they said goodbye, and they are still coming to term in their own pace that they actually don't want things to end there.

Hak let go of his vow of walking by his side as his equal, but he still cares, he still can't forget, and he needed Yona to put it simply into words for him. It's okay to still feel conflicted, to carry contradictory feelings. What is undoubtely there is he wants him to live and to be there. That even apart, even when his priority is saving his friends and protecting Yona, Soo-won is still a part of him and he can't just erase him from his life. And it's fine. I don't think he should have to if ultimately putting things with Soo-won behind him, letting him go, hurts him so much. He deals with things differently than Yona and he doesn't have to do the same as her if that's not what is good to him. Yona shows that even after letting go of the hairpin, it still doesn't mean she can't think of Soo-won and wish for him to live. Letting go isn't erasing someone's existence from your life, it can just be taking a different path without tearing the bond apart.

But what this all makes me think about is, maybe letting go, in the sense of completely putting things behind them, is precisely the problem with Soo-won and Zeno. They're too good at it. We know they struggle to do it completely and honestly, but they are much better at killing their feelings than Hak, and they're able to at least act and pretend as if they were really letting go. What is so similar between Soo-won and Zeno besides betraying Yona and Hak to accomplish their respective goal and their tendency to hide their most unpleasant feelings, is that they are driven by the conviction that they have no other choice. Why does Soo-won discard people, his soldiers, prisoners, his friends? Because he doesn't believe in a path where he can keep them that wouldn't compromise the rest of the country. Before the coup, despite how much he longed for it, Soo-won couldn't believe a future with Yona and Hak by his side would ever be possible. So he gave up this dream, he acted with this fact in mind, he didn't try to pursue it. A self fulfilling prophecy. Chapter 243 was the same. And Zeno now is exactly the same as well. He doesn't believe in any other solution he could come up with together with Yona. He does what he does because if he doesn't, he is convinced he won't have another chance to be free and to end the cycle. Soo-won pretended the one they knew never existed, while Zeno pretends he already forgot them and that they should do the same.

They push them away, they tell themselves that Hak will protect Yona anyway and they will be fine without them. They let go, put an end to their bonds themselves in an (probably unconscious) attempt to have some agency on the end rather than to wait to be left behind.

But Yona's grip is strong, and despite everything Hak sucks at letting go. For their friends and for Soo-won and anyone on their path. And maybe it is important too to not let go. To be stubborn and selfish about it. To not leave anyone behind, to not avert your eyes from those in the shadows. Maybe "to let go" isn't something to wish for as an absolute solution to grief. Maybe letting go just brings more pain sometimes and is the killer of trying to fight for a better solution. Maybe there is worth in keeping what is precious to you close to your chest and fighting for it against all odds.

Honestly, as I write this I am not even sure of the answer. Zeno does deserve rest and to be allowed to go. And I can't tell if Hak will let go of Soo-won for good in the end. There is definitely a lot of good out of letting people and things go sometimes, even in Hak's case. It gives him the space to explore his feelings and come to term with them, and I don't expect him to live his life with anyone but the HHB. But all I feel is, surely, there is a better way to say goodbye. A way to say goodbye not out of resignation and despair. A way for them to listen to their hearts and be honest with their feelings. So I can only wait and keep faith for it, as I watch the characters slowly but surely try to change their fate and not submit to it.

[prince-liest]

oh my god…. prince……. you can’t do this to me. you’re saying next fic has vox getting fucked, focuses on vox’s transness (AH), AND ALSO HES ON THE OFF SEE SAW OF HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH VAL?????? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL MEE?!!?!!????? I THINK I MIGHT ACTUALLY COMBUST. and bc another anon asked abt how alastor views the violence in voxval’s relationship, i have Another thought on the matter. as much as alastor looks down on vox, they can be Very similar sometimes. they are both egomaniacs and very prideful. i don’t think vox, without outside interference, would ever ADMIT that the violence he faces is 1) something he truly hates AND 2) out of his control. he can’t admit he hates it, because then why isn’t he stopping it? that would be admitting to not being powerful enough or strong enough. and hello, 50’s toxic masculinity coming through, he CANT be a victim of domestic violence. he’s a powerful, rich, and important man. it all comes down to perceived weakness. so, the solution is to pretend he’s mostly fine with it. sure, he can act disgruntled and upset in the moment, but i don’t think he’d ever let himself take it seriously. because then he has to start drawing lines in the sand, and what happens then? will val look down on him? will he lose val? yeah, he is not risking that over a problem he mostly refuses to acknowledge exists. and as you said, this is all happening in the setting of hell, where ultra violence IS the norm, and vox himself is excessively violent. it’s the most delicious 50 layer cake of fucked up-ness.

RANT ASIDE THO. i have a question. 2. do you ever plan on having vox interact with the hotel crew outside of angel? ANDDDD what would charlie’s reaction be to their friendship/situationship/ kinda love affair. i think she could add SOOOOO much hilarity and Intense Emotions to this series. not that the boys haven’t been doing their part in that so far. charlie just intensifies everything she does, god bless her. -🌓

The "getting fucked" bit and the trans conversation bit are directly related to and relevant to each other, and frankly I'm just very happy to be out here writing the specific flavors of deeply queer shenanigans that I'm writing, and to have people actively enjoy that. It genuinely means a lot to me that I've strayed so goddamn far out of the bounds of good old top/bottom yaoi archetypes that introduced me to fandom and yet have a wildly enthusiastic audience nonetheless. So, that was my long way of saying that you bring me a lot of fucking joy, anon, hahaha.

As for everything you're saying about Vox, power, and masculinity: YOU! points dramatically at you YOU GET IT! YOU GET IT!!!!!! Everyone just read this, this is it, this is the thing. I have no notes to add. There is a reason that the main point he raises the moment he actually says something vulnerable about it (before he immediately cuts himself off) is a complaint that he's an overlord, so why—?

And with regards to your questions: I'm not gonna lie, my actual planning for 666 is usually, like, extremely by the seat of my pants. I plan nothing except, "Oh, shit, had an idea for the next one. Lesgoooo—" and that's been the case for literally every single installment. It's all just been evolving naturally and building on top of itself. So! I can't say that I plan to have Vox interact with the hotel crew or Charlie, but I also will never say that I'm actively opposed to it.

That said, I do think a lot of this fic is kinda structured around hitting specific topics that come up in intimate settings between Vox and Alastor specifically, with occasional tag-ins from Angel Dust, so I don't really know if there's anything in particular I'd like to write that I think would work better in this series if more characters got involved. But, hey! Never say never!

[semishid]

Why Kai should be canonically aromantic!

1. It’s cool

2. So far, every Queer character in Ninjago has been "unnecessary", contributing nothing to the plot.

Sally was in one season, she doesn't even have her own minifigure. Her character is to be an emotional, energetic, but stressed person. I like her a lot, but being bisexual didn't contribute or change anything.

Then a non-binary background character in Dragon Rising who contributes nothing to the plot, they just in the background.

Geo, he doesn't have a minifigure yet, he has little dialogue and he just is.

Tox, after the airing of season 2 p2 on the Ninjago website we found out that they uses They/Them pronouns.

Cole, not confirmed, but strongly suggested. The least popular ninja, making him a Queer character wouldn't do much for minifigure sales, because he's just unpopular.

But Kai is the most popular ninja!

Plus he has not rlly good writing!

This can be used to show children that not everyone is capable of showing romantic feelings and that it is normal.

His relationship with Skylor is questionable, it was for years and still is.

Now Wyldfyre has a boyfriend, she will talk about him, maybe she will ask Kai about various things regarding dating

But Kai knows nothing about love. He had no parents, he had trust issues. For years he only had a sister to whom he showed love. His trust issues towards Wu and ninja and the fact that he did not interact with other posts except ninja and/or ninja friends.

And in general he only hit on one woman in earlier seasons and gave some advice to Lloyd about dating.

He does not have a rich history related to love with relationships

Making him an aro and showing children that it is normal would be great

Censorship.

In many countries, especially religious ones, any display of difference in a way that is inconsistent with religion and culture is censored or even banned from the state. Ninjago could avoid this!

Censorship wouldn't make sense, because it would 1. Be in line with Kai's character. It would develop his character (a little) and have a pretty important conversation with Wyldfyre about his feelings. 2. Not expressing romantic feelings is normal, people can't censor that, especially in children's animation, which rather doesn't want to promote children entering into romantic relationships young, we don't want that.

Good representation, character development, it doesn't make a difference to them financially, Kai will still be popular, there will most likely be no censorship.

Children, especially young ones often don't know why some adults are single and don't have partners

I think if their favorite character explained it, it would be good for them

Of course, being aro is not the only determinant of loneliness, but so that all children understand that love is not only romantic. Because in Ninjago, there was often a romantic relationship between a guy and a girl right away.

Making the main character a popular Queer would be a good leap forward, especially since Kai is relatable in so many ways.

Also, homophonic Ninjago fans already make Kai woke:

[gotylocks]

Willow Month 2023- Day 3: TV Show (Full Series/Specific Episode) or Movie

If you read my entry for Day one, you'll know I went into the show without seeing the movie. In fact, I actually made a point to wait to watch it until the finale, because it was a rare opportunity where I could watch one of these years later follow ups without nostalgia for the original (unlike, say, Star Wars), so I wanted to see if it worked on its own.

The fact I'm writing this should tell you, I truly believe it does. Now, I don't want this to come off like I don't like the movie, because that is not the case. I love the movie! I'm wearing a Sorsha and Mads shirt as I write this! But I would still love the show just as much without the movie.

Some hard numbers may make my point. I have watched the movie once, and while I often think about watching it again, I haven't yet. By contrast, I have watched the full series 13 times through at this point, and at least 8 of those times were marathon sessions where I went from episodes 1-8 in a single sitting.

Why is that? Well, I think the movie is missing some key ingredients that keep it from hitting that obsession level. Namely, Kit, Jade, (grown up) Elora... ok it's the entire crew. Their interplay, the way their relationships build over the course of the season, and the way that by the end of the finale every single one of them has been improved by the others being present in their lives.

The party of six, all with their beautiful, layered arcs and emotional storylines, they're the ones that make the show something special. I've said in the past that typically in shows with ensemble casts, there's usually at least one character that I find annoying, or one actor that I don't like for one reason or another. That's another thing that makes the show so incredible. I love every single person involved. From the main six, rippling out to the supporting cast and cameos like Hannah Waddingham and Christian Slater. Not only does everyone understand the assignment, they bring their own unique flavor and quirks so nobody feels like they're phoning it in. You can tell everyone is having fun and that translates to the audience.

And while fun is first up on the menu for the show, there's also so many moments of heart-rending drama. As someone who lost their dad at 26, I connect to Kit's feelings of grief and abandonment over the disappearance of her father. I connect with Jade feeling lost and purposeless. I connect with Elora desperately wanting to help despite struggling to believe in herself. I connect with Graydon carrying a lot of guilt over things he had no control over and wanting to prove himself as more than what his father believes he is. I connect with Boorman regretting his selfish choices and wanting to make up for his past mistakes. I even relate to Willow, thrust into a position where he has to be a believer despite feeling like a fraud.

Whether it's due to the run time or the time in which it was made, the movie just can't compete with the variety of character arcs, the layers that get peeled back the more the crew spend time together, the realization how each person has something to learn from the others and how they've grown to rely on each other.

By the time they reach the Immemorial City to fight the Crone, they have grown into one of the best found families I've ever seen. They have each other's backs, they trust each other implicitly, and they're willing to put everything on the line to save the world, sure, but more importantly, save each other and facilitate their rises to greatness.

The dialogue, while not to everyone's taste, I felt was a great choice. It immediately plants a flag on its own territory and says confidently "We are not Game of Thrones. We are not Lord of the Rings. We are our own thing." I love that shit! It is never a show that feels like it's chasing a trend, because it is so uniquely itself. That extends to the music, be it the fantastic score by James Newton Howard and Xander Rodzinski or the fascinating modern song choices deployed in each episode, which while I have opinions about songs I would prefer in different places, I cannot deny that they set the show apart from everything else that has come before. And "Crimson+Clover" by Pom Pom Squad will live in my brain forever thanks to its absolutely pitch perfect use in episode 5.

The fight scenes are fantastic, because they're never there for the sake of having action. Instead, major character beats are woven throughout, making each fight hugely meaningful to everyone involved. Whether it's Willow going from his weakened, nigh magicless state at the start of the show, to being the great sorcerer he was always meant to be thanks to working with Elora, or its Kit and Jade connecting and expressing emotions that words may not be enough for through their shared love language of sword fighting, or Graydon finding the magic within at the moment he needed to and killing one of the Gales pursuing them. Action has a purpose in this story and I love that after so many hollow and emotionless cgi fight scenes we've been inundated with over recent years.

This is why I can't simply choose one favorite episode from the series, because they are so intertwined that I cannot separate them. However, unlike many straight to streaming shows, Willow doesn't just feel like an 8 hour movie chopped into parts (despite my tendency to watch it like one long movie lol). Every episode has a unique identity that I can immediately point to when prompted. Every episode is important to moving both the narrative and character development forward, and there isn't a single one you could cut without everything feeling askew.

So. When I saw this prompt I was like "Maybe I'll make this one short", but we all know now that was going to be impossible. The intense emotional connection I have to this show from front to back just brings this out of me. To the only Fellowship I need in my life. I wouldn't be here without you.

To quote Erin from the making of doc, "These people are my family."

[altocat]

i saw that you also said you love to talk about other characters, not just sephiroth, so i thought i'd ask: what are your favorite things/traits/moments etc of all of the playable characters we've had across the compilation of 7? i feel like i can talk about all the characters forever :)

Ooh yeah! This will be fun. Okay!

Cloud: Cloud is the most relatable character to me, and probably my favorite if we're being honest. I relate strongly to his identity issues, and I love when he tries to act tough while concealing a softer nature. My personal favorite scene with him is the flashback where he realizes that he was stronger than Sephiroth this whole time, throwing Sephiroth down the pit. It's a powerful moment, probably Cloud's single greatest moment in the entire series.

Tifa: Tifa is literal perfection. She looks like a tough tomboy and yet she's also one of the kindest people ever. She's maternal, loyal, supportive, and devoted to a fault. The team would be lost without her. She's the glue that holds everyone together. An absolute queen. My favorite moment with her is Under the Highwind, regardless of her relationship with Cloud being romantic or platonic.

Barret: Barret's got a heart of gold. He's always part of my main party when playing the OG. A great comrade and an even GREATER father. His relationship with Marlene is beautiful and so warm and wholesome. Barret also spits some iconic quotes over the course of the game, as well as some hard truths. My favorite scene with him, naturally, is his encounter with Dyne. The line "my hands are too stained to carry her anymore" gets me to cry no matter how many times I play.

Aerith: Aerith is the biggest hero of FFVII next to Cloud. She's the one who ultimately saves the day, and all through her sacrifice. I'm not even gonna talk about my favorite moment with her because...you guys already know the scene. It's the single most famous scene in gaming history. Aerith has a playful, occasionally chaotic edge to her personality that she hides behind a sweet smile. I absolutely adore that about her. She's so full of love and so full of selflessness, but she also loves to tease people. Also an absolute queen.

Red XIII: Nanaki is a cat btw. I have always seen him as a cat. That's my controversial opinion on him lmao. Also him howling for Seto makes me ugly cry every single time without fail. I appreciate that Nanaki seems occasionally stoic and serious, but then has kind of a childlike or immature fear or insecurity about something. There's that duality to him that ties to the other characters in a sense. Anyway, I love him. He is a very good boy.

Cid: Cid took a while to grow on me initially. He's pretty rough around the edges. But my favorite moment with him happens in the last third where he sorta becomes the de facto leader of the group with Cloud gone. And I like that he seems to have reconciled with Shera as well. Honestly, he's just kind of a badass and really cool at what he does. Also he gets to go to space. Good for him tbh.

Cait Sith: This one is hard because there's always a debate as to how much of a character Cait Sith actually IS. It's Reed puppeting a machine/doll basically. How much of Cait Sith has a mind of his own? Regardless, Cait Sith isn't my fave. He's a spy, after all. But he makes up for it in the end, even if he kinda fades into the background. Reed is honestly more of an interesting character overall. I can't name any specific favorite moments with Cait Sith specifically. But also he's a small Scottish cat. And that's rad.

Vincent: This edgy boi. Also not one of my faves, but he's grown a lot more on me over time. He wins for always having the coolest voice in the entire group. And I really like the scene where he reunites with Lucrecia. Vincent is kind of gruff and understated at times compared to the rest of the cast. But he has a gentle side as well, and one hell of a cool backstory. Also I love monsters and gothic imagery in general.

Yuffie: Yuffie is...my least favorite main character. I don't hate her. I've just never been a fan of the "spunky loudmouth child" trope. With that said, I'm sure the Remake trilogy will breathe new life into her and add some extra appeal for me. I like what I've seen so far. And Yuffie's bluntness and playfulness can be cute from time to time.

Zack: Counting him because of Crisis Core. He's probably my third favorite character. His death is the saddest scene in the entire compilation imo. He's a character who is wholly encompassed by love, who deals with a LOT of pain, and who proves to be better and worthier than most people put together. Like Aerith, he sacrifices everything. And also like Aerith, his legacy will live on forever.

[letters-adressed-to-the-fire]

actually, taylor is just as delusional as all of us (or "over-analyzing chloe et all: the sequel")

First part analyzing the first verse and the chorus is already posted if you want to check it out ;) I'll be waiting and ready to dive deeper into the lyrics and uncover the hidden meanings and emotions behind the song (or how i like to call it: making everything about me and my own personal traumatizing experiences, hope you can relate!!!)

“You said some things that I can't unabsorb You turned me into an idea of sorts You needed me, but you needed drugs more And I couldn't watch it happen”

In the second verse, she’ll be reflecting on why they broke up. The line “couldn’t watch it happen” emphasizes that she didn’t leave because she wanted to, but because she couldn’t endure it anymore. This shows the painful reasons for their separation and her struggle to move on.

“I changed into goddesses, villains, and fools Changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules All to outrun my desertion of you”

First of all, no, she isn’t a normal person who can just say “yeah, I’ll try everything to get over you”. No, Taylor needed to emotionally destroy us.

Second of all, yes, despite logical reasons for the breakup, the fact she had to leave makes her wonder what would’ve happened if she stayed, even if she knew she couldn’t. It’s a contradiction that, between delusions, makes sense (I know most of us can relate).

“Down that passage in time back to the moment I crashed into you, like so many wrecks do”

She wonders if things could have been different if she knew then what she knows now. Alternatively, the “crashed into you” part could symbolize their first meeting and the idea of avoiding the entire relationship.

That last thought is reinforced by the bridge, where she’s basically saying that maybe, if she just over-analyzed every single moment she shared with him, she may find the exact moment where things went wrong, and she wonders, again, if it could’ve been different if she knew then what she knows now.

I want to add that the first few times I listened to this song, I interpreted the “crashed into you” part as a metaphor for their first meeting. I thought these lyrics suggested a “what if she had turned around and avoided the entire relationship?” scenario. I mention this because, like with all of Taylor’s songs, there isn’t an absolute truth when it comes to interpreting her writing. In this case, it’s devastating how both perspectives of the bridge can be so sorrowful yet opposite at the same time.

As I mentioned before, the third verse is mostly about accepting that they will never be able to pretend it never happened. So, now that we’ve covered the general meaning of these lyrics, I’d like to dive into more specific metaphors.

“Will that make your memory fade from this scarlet maroon”

Aside from the fact that this is an obvious maroon reference, we need to remember Taylor’s tendency to use color symbolism to express her emotions. I’m not sure exactly what color she’s picturing when she talks about “fading,” but it’s likely gray. She has often used gray as the opposite of love or as a synonym for cold in many songs, so it makes sense that she expects the scarlet maroon (their love) to turn into a shade of gray—something unimportant or that could eventually disappear.

“Could it be enough to just float in your orbit?”

This line immediately evokes the feeling of centering your life around someone else. More precisely, it could have two meanings, or perhaps a blend of both. First, Taylor might be asking if it would be enough for her to be part of his life and know about it despite the baggage from their failed relationship. Alternatively, she could be asking him if she really needs to leave or if she can stay close enough to still know about him. I interpret both meanings as if they are already exes because that’s the vibe I get from the entire song. I think it would be too unhealthy to keep yourself at arm’s length from your romantic partner just to avoid losing them, and I personally don’t think that is what Taylor was trying to depict here.

“Can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses? Cooler in theory, but not if you force it to be”

With this last metaphor (or more accurately, simile), we can finally complete the picture. Taylor is asking if remembering their time together could eventually feel like watching wild horses—if, in time, they’ll be able to look back and simply remember the lessons they learned from that period without the heaviness of the “what ifs” mentioned earlier. Here, I’d like to reference MoonSkylarr on Genius because their interpretation of these lyrics was spot-on:

“Can we watch the ghosts of us with the same reverence, admiration, and respect we watch wild horses? Wild horses are beautiful in their wildness, but man always wants to tame them. Can we look at them without wanting them to be anything other than exactly what they are?”

“So if you wanna break my cold, cold heart Say you loved me”

Taylor ends the song with a variation of the chorus. She is no longer asking for him to tell her that he loved with the way that she was, now she’s only asking to know if he ever really loved her, it doesn’t matter how anymore.

[eilinelsghost]

⭐ ⭐ ⭐

Once more continuing to gradually chip away at the Director's Cut asks! (And as before, still taking asks if you have any you'd like to send in—the more specific the better. 😊)

Today I am being the bravest little Frankie and making myself answer a star question. I have so many things I want to babble on and on about when I'm writing, but the moment someone asks me with free rein, I promptly forget every single one of those and can't think of anything at all to say. So uh here's hoping this makes sense!

(And apologies to all of you who sent in star questions—I promise I will eventually have answers for all of you!)

One thing that I've tried to be very intentional about throughout the series so far is how the "exes" (for lack of a better term) are portrayed. Ok no, I tried using "exes" and now I feel so desperately guilty because poor Esrid is not an ex. She is a dead. I'm so sorry, Esrid, I will never call you Balan's ex ever again.

Anyway.

Something that frustrates me in a lot of fiction (in general, not just in fanfiction) is the tendency to portray previous relationships as inferior to the one being featured in the story, as though in order for the featured one to be valid, anything before it had to be negative in comparison. Most often I've seen this done with women, though I'm sure it happens with men also.

So going into writing this series, I knew this was something I would need to be aware of with both Finrod and Balan, and I wanted to be very careful not to fall into that trope by accident. I'm not completely sure if I've achieved that goal or not, but I really hope so because I've become quite fond of both Amarië and Esrid in the process.

As part of this aim, I wanted to make both women full characters in their own rights, even while neither is around in the events of the series. Each nevertheless has a tangible presence in the narrative, both through Balan and Finrod's memories as well as through how each woman has shaped the way our main characters operate in relationship, both to each other and to the world around them.

Balan & Esrid

In Balan's case, I wanted to play a bit with the idea of it being a marriage of convenience, which could easily fall into the framework of "it wasn't about love." Balan occasionally tries to categorize it this way to himself as a coping mechanism, because he has never fully let himself mourn her loss. In Grief in All Her Guises, for example, he tells Finrod:

"In truth, I believe my wife’s death rent Estreth’s heart in many ways that never touched mine—to my lasting shame. Yet in times like these when memory is the most brutal, Estreth remains, not just in the encampment but alongside them, present and attending despite all of it. Whereas I…” Balan let out his breath in a rush of exasperation and clenched his fists to still the trembling.

He leads with this line about Estreth being rent in ways that he was not—yet throughout the entire scene that follows, his actions and relation to his wife's memory show the exact opposite: Estreth and he were both wrecked by Esrid's death, but while Estreth has acknowledged, mourned, and befriended her grief in some sense, Balan remains in denial and tries to mitigate the pain by a) closing off the memory and b) insisting to himself that he had less right to mourn, less love that could be injured. While the reality is that he loved her deeply—and he knows that, even while he tries to downplay it to ease the loss.

And in this, his pain is two-fold. First, and most obviously, it is the grief of her death, and the grief of seeing that loss through his sons' eyes as well. But secondly, it is the pain of believing his love was at least partially unrequited, which is a large part of why he often narrates it in a way that downplays his own devotion. He is very conscious of the reality that she married Geberic from love, and from a love deep enough that it was worth uprooting herself and her sister from all they knew in order to bring it to fruition. And then Balan led his people on the westward road, which brought them into the skirmish that killed her husband. “She never loved me the way she had Geberic, but the love that was there was enough," he tells Finrod, because he cannot shake the conviction that his love was never returned in kind—because he was not the one she had chosen, and because he was (at least indirectly) the cause of that loss, that he was a poor substitute offered in atonement and only accepted from need. But Esrid did love him, and loved him as fully as he loved her, which he is gradually able to see as he finally lets himself mourn her. A helpful summary for this, I think, is from Chapter 5 of Atanatárissë in Balan's closing letter to Belen:

I deemed myself broken through when thy mother was lost, and in many ways it was a true perception. But I forced her memory ever from me, afraid to touch it lest the break rend further and leave me insensate to thee and thy brother. Thus at the thought of her, I held my heart in ice, for fear of what should arise in the thawing. Yet my reticence faltered once and in that brief moment she rose beside me—a balm and not a sharp thing of shearing edges. And she has remained there ever since, steady through the tempests, my first love gone before me as I go now before those who remain, a loss abated not deeper delved.

However, the upshot of all of this is that Balan is consistently afraid of the strength of his own feelings, while also being convinced that in any relationship he will always be the one who loves more than the other, that love will never be fully reciprocated. This results both in how bold he can be re stating how things are (see the snowdrop sequence in A Heady Fragrance of Honey, the entire conversation between them in Vassal, literally all of A Shifting Mirage lol, the confession scene in In These Holy Waters, etc.), and also in how he immediately shifts into a defensive fear response whenever he suspects the not-fully-reciprocated situation with Finrod. Once again, see Vassal for a good example of this:

“I would give everything to thee, but not as a stray once smiled upon who ever after limps hopefully at thy heels; to be some brittle leaf, wind-tossed and in its delusion of flight thinking it might reach the sun."

And when Finrod hesitates in response to this, his immediate reaction is jump to defensiveness and anger:

“Yes is a simple enough word.” Balan’s face was etched with the fury of his grief. “Athon. Sá. Nai, even. But I see thee instead pondering how to explain without wounding me. No matter. It is the blow struck in silence that fells the swiftest. I take my leave.” He turned abruptly and walked back toward the village. 

And again in In These Holy Waters where he faces what he sees as Finrod's refusal to choose to love him, Balan's "words lashed from him like a blade, no longer caring where he struck so long as he could wound in return."

So throughout all of this, Esrid (or his love for her, his grief for her, his loss of her) operates as a consistent character throughout Balan and Finrod's relationship as well.

Finrod & Amarië

Likewise, it was important to me that Amarië was not just some idealized Beatrice-esque character who sat over the narrative like the lady of a courtly romance. I needed to believe that she was more than an archetype, and understand why Finrod specifically cared for her, in order to understand why he was operating in the insane-making way he is so far in the series.

(Agh. I've already gotten SO long-winded here, so I'll try to keep this one shorter than Balan's section.)

To start, it was a non-negotiable for me that he did genuinely care for her. I think there's a very clear reason for his indecision and hesitance referenced in A Heady Fragrance of Honey: specifically that he is operating in a context where he's constantly pulled between varying sets of expectations and thus orients himself toward those in order to keep peace; and as the oldest son in a branch of the royal line, he is expected to marry in a way that continues the line, so he does not consider that marrying a woman might not actually be what he wants. Nevertheless, I don't think that Finrod as a person could consider marrying someone—no matter how many expectations were in place around him—if he did not genuinely love them, at least to some degree.

So what is it about them that meshed together? For me, that came down to the same thing that lies at the foundation of his love for Balan: someone who can see past the veneer and name (and love) the person who exists behind the expectations he tries to fill. In the same sequence of A Heady Fragrance of Honey, the context is set as such:

Torn between his father’s expectation of distance and Tirion’s expectation of knowledge and poise, he mimicked first the one and then the other till each was pleased with his performance. He followed his cousin’s studies, learning swordsmanship alongside Turvo’s intrigue for the art and dance of it, he studied architecture, learned the planning of cities, mastered the dialogue and form of court. Then alone in the night he would read philosophy, he would slip out on quiet days to wander through the hills and greet the fauna and new growth, he would sing beside the streams and laugh as he watched children chase and play. Then he returned to Alqualondë and donned the old facade, taking up the mantle of his father’s mediation, the calm analysis of ethics and theology, and the light banter of Olwë’s court.

With Amarië, he is operating in that middle section—as the person he is when he's away from observation and expectation, reading philosophy alone in the dead of night:

[S]he had been a student of philosophy and he was drawn immediately to the conversations they shared, discussions and theoreticals that bored his cousin when he tried to engage him. But Amarië was versed in all of these and her mind sharp and eager, finding the same intrigue and challenge in these debates that drew him ever back to the study. It was not long before they sought each other out independently[.]

She enjoys the parts of him that others find tedious, she sees the things that intrigue him and names them (and consequently names him) as good. He sees in her someone who challenges him and is not afraid to debate and push back, and for whom that is in fact an embodiment of respect and affection, someone who operates from a consistent posture of openness and truth—and this draws him to her immediately. In short, she lays the groundwork for what Balan later builds. Having had that foundation, Finrod is able to see it for what it is when he realizes his feelings for Balan are far beyond friendship: he has the comfort, centerdness, and mutual respect he felt in Amarië's company, but now with all the certainty of affection he was lacking in Valinor.

But this also undergirds one of his primary fears re how he interacts with Balan. As he sees it, all that his love for Amarië gave in return was to leave her wounded and abandoned, which is one of his deepest regrets. He is terrified that he will do the same to Balan, that if he allows himself to love him, he will end up hurting him by default. That, similarly to Amarië, any love they have will end in an irrevocable parting that leaves both of them broken in its wake.

There's a whole lot more I could go on about re Finrod and all of this, but the length of this thing is getting out of control, so I think we'll call it a wrap here 😂

Thanks so much for the ask!

[remyfire]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

I was tagged by @quordleona03! Thank you so much for the tag I know lots of people have already been tagged, so consider this a formal request that if you have NOT been tagged, you please come play! But off the top of my head, @onekisstotakewithme @cuddleswinchester @dreamingofspring :D

How many works do you have on Ao3?

40.

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

I think we might officially be leaving 2023 with 300,842 words. Not a bad count for only publishing since April! That's a novella a month right there.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

MASH. :D

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Scratching The Itch, Can't Take My Eyes Off You, To Have and To Hold, Anything You Say Can and Will Be Held Against You, and Tear Out All Your Tenderness. Good morning beejhawk nation I see you all hkdfds

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! Sometimes they pile up and I get overwhelmed and just click that "Mark All As Read" button while hiding behind my hand. But I really try to circle through nowadays even just for a "Thanks for reading!!" because I really appreciate every single one!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I feel like ...With Too Many Miles Between Us was a pretty rough one. There's maybe optimism that you can read through the cracks, but it was a damn agonizing prompt fill (affectionate) all around. The Good Ones Always Seem to Break is another. Sorry that I keep putting you in situations, Beej.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oughhhh, just about anything that suggests they don't end here, so to speak. I think To Have and To Hold probably tops the list, but I Intend to Hold You For the Longest Time and Soft Place to Land also come in hot just by nature of being established postwar situations.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet! I've had a couple of people not understand what I was going for and who were not afraid of saying so, but it wasn't outright hate. They were probably just not the intended audience.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Ahh yes. 65% of my current fics are rated E for a reason, and the 5 M ones are flirting with that line.

I categorize myself as an erotic romance writer, meaning that typically if you remove my sex scenes from my fics, you are losing integral information or character/relationship development that would otherwise make the fic not stand on its own. I also have a handful that are just pure erotica—sex for titillation's sake rather than development. I adore writing smut!! It's a lot of fun, it's exciting when you know you've landed it exactly like you wanted to, and it's a way for me to reclaim all those years I spent being forcibly repressed due to my religious upbringing. I love every minute of it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I do not!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

The Famous 4077 Dog Tag Party certainly counts! Many of us authors randomized a list of pairings for both eras of the show, and then we were responsible for picking a pairing, writing the characters going on a date (platonic or romantic), and seeing what happened. Extremely fun way to get some rare pairs we might not have expected. For example, I got to write Margie/Klinger for it!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Hey now I am too fucking polyam to answer this and you know it. Mcpunnihawk probably tops the list, warring with margbeej and sidbeejhawk.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I am not taking this defeatist energy into 2024, how dare you. One day, my pretties, I'm coming back for all of you and we are crossing that finish line OR ELSE.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Smut, capturing character voices accurately, physicality, spinning relational scenarios on the fly.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Genres like mystery or sci-fi or horror, repetition of comfort words/phrases, putting my characters through significant levels of pain (I am too empathetic, I can and will cry over my own fics).

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Things that I do not feel comfortable doing myself because I am not familiar enough with any other language to know I'm doing it accurately.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The kid wizard one.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

How dare you make me pick from my children. Scratching The Itch, Anything You Say Can and Will Be Held Against You, I'd Give Up Forever to Touch You, and Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures. Notably this could all change by this time tomorrow. I'm very fond of my fics.

[henry-fox-biggest-stan]

It’s been too long since I made one of these posts but I’m going insane over Coney Island and Nico and Bianca

Nico is black, Bianca is purple

Break my soul in two looking for you

But you're right here

Two things, either Nico trying to get Bianca’s attention/approval while she was alive (because let’s be honest, she truly loved him but she was also annoyed by him a lot), or Nico looking for Bianca after she died, and not answering to him trying to summon her

If I can't relate to you anymore

Then who am I related to?

Bianca leaving Nico to go to the hunt, and Nico being kind of left behind by his only family

And if this is the long haul

How'd we get here so soon?

Did I close my fist around something delicate?

Did I shatter you?

Bianca’s death and Nico feeling like it’s his fault (thinking than she joined the hunters because of him, thinking he indirectly (or directly, if thinking about the hades statue) caused her death)

And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island

Wondering, "Where did my baby go?"

Nico missing Bianca

The fast times, the bright lights, the merry-go

The lotus casino

Sorry for not making you my centerfold

Over and over

Again, Nico feeling guilt for not being “the perfect brother” and “making” Bianca leave with the hunters

Lost again with no surprises

Disappointments close your eyes

And it gets colder and colder

When the sun goes down

It gets colder and colder because it was winter when Bianca died and Nico fell into the labyrinth, slowly it do gets colder and colder

The question pounds my head

What's a lifetime of achievement

If I pushed you to the edge

But you were too polite to leave me?

Bianca leaving with the hunters

Do you miss the rogue

Who coaxed you into paradise and left you there?

Do you miss the hunters who coaxed you into “paradise” and left you there (left her where she died, her body still resting in the same place)?

Will you forgive my soul

When you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?

Now Bianca’s pov starts.

'Cause we were like the mall before the internet

It was the one place to be

The mischief, the gift-wrapped suburban dreams

Sorry for not winning you an arcade ring

Over and over

Bianca thinking about their relationship before discovering they were demigods.

Were you waiting at our old spot

In the tree line, by the gold clock?

Did I leave you hanging every single day?

Nico trying to summon Bianca

Were you standing in the hallway with a big cake?

Happy birthday

Did I paint your bluest skies the darkest gray?

A universe away

I have no idea when Nico’s birthday is canonically, but in my mind it will always be the 28th of February. Bianca died around December or November, so Nico spent his 11th birthday alone

And when I got into the accident

The sight that flashed before me was your face

Bianca basically dying to get Nico the hades figurine as an apology. Nico being her last thought

But when I walked up to the podium

I think that I forgot to say your name

She literally died because of him, and yet she left him

[duckielover151]

Some OPLA Thoughts: Episode 7

This one was really interesting. There were some definite changes made to Nami's backstory that I honestly haven't decided yet whether I like or not. (Or maybe 'accept' is a better word than 'like'...)

I think it's a shame that live action-only viewers won't get as complete a view of Bellemere. Of how she used to be a troublemaker just like Nami... only to straighten herself out in the Navy... and then surprise everyone by giving that life up to raise two orphans she'd found when she was still so young... There was this palpable sense of pride in the town regarding Bellemere in the anime that I just didn't get here. But there may still be time for more flashbacks in the denouement, once Arlong's taken care of.

What we're not going to get back is that Nojiko definitely has... maybe not less of a personality, but I feel like there's less purpose to her presence here.

This is where I'm a little torn, because I think Nami's backstory as the live action depicts it does still work. The one where she offers herself to Arlong willingly and genuinely doesn't let on to anybody that she's doing it to try and save the town and not out of greed or a more selfish sort of survival.

But the anime's version was just so powerful. That Nojiko knew her sister's true intentions... that she was the only person Nami could rely on (or so she thought) whenever she returned home... It just gave a whole different kind of depth to their relationship. And a different kind of strength to Nojiko for being in on it, her sister's confidant.

I think the emotion behind the scene where Nami tells her everything is still really great. I don't think the live action's version is a bad portrayal. And I understand that it was likely tweaked because the nuances of the original would have taken more time to get across than they had. ...Like I said, I'm just a little torn. Mourning the things we lost a bit. (But it's nowhere near how I felt about them leaving out some fundamental things about Kuina so...)

I've gotta say, shoutout to Lily Fisher, who played young Nami. It's not like I've had any complaints about the acting/casting so far, but she really killed it. There are big name adult actors who don't achieve the kind of emotion she poured into her lines here.

They did not skimp at all on Arlong's crew and Arlong Park, and it's been really great. (Though I have to say, I haven't noticed Hachi anywhere in the crowd yet... I'm hoping to see him show up in the battle.)

There's been so much included in every single episode... This one was almost entirely spent in Nami's village, exploring her background and motivations... but it still feels so dense. I'm really glad they were prepared to dedicate so much time to it. (Though I really loved the scene at the Baratie this episode. Helmeppo and Koby getting shit done while Zeff and Garp are on their date... Koby actually brought up an angle I've never considered before-- that Helmeppo might be able to relate to Luffy... just a bit? for growing up on the reign of Axe-Hand Morgan, maybe wanting some freedom? I'd like to see that explored.)

And you know what? I'd actually already seen the scene where Nami finally breaks down and asks for Luffy's help, and I wasn't all that impressed by it. It felt kind of awkward in the live action. But seeing it again, as part of the whole episode, right after Arlong's speech, preparing his crew to destroy the village... Seeing it as part of the whole episode, it evoked all the emotions it was meant to.

I am just a little bit worried about the last episode maybe feeling rushed? I've seen the screenshot of that iconic scene where they all formally announce their dreams as they're heading into the Grand Line and... There's just no way they can get there with only one episode to go, right? Loguetown can't happen in season one, if we haven't dealt with Arlong yet. They must move that scene up, because there just isn't time.

But this adaptation has made me so eager to see this crew reach the site of Roger's execution... I haven't even finished it yet, and I'm already impatient for season two!

[gildedmuse]

[And with that single line, Kuina had more characterization than every other woman in her extended family combine.]

2. Let Me Guess, It Was Very Tragic & Character Defining

(aka Every-Mom Story)

Now, I know a lot of people are going to say, "To be fair, Mina/Muse, it makes SENSE that Zoro's parents were dead! Otherwise they would have to let their son walk around challenging dojos whenever he wanted, and no sane person let a child with Zoro's sense of direction just go town to town on his own like that! Plus, if you actually think about Zoro's whole -"

First off, love the engagement Fictional Tumblr Surfer. I also adore discussing media and hearing different perspectives but before you go any further: trust me, I have thought about Zoro. I have had all the thoughts about Zoro.

Also, this idea that Zoro's parents HAD to be dead seems to be based entirely on, "or else he wouldn't be wandering the countryside looking for dojos". The problem with that line of logic is, well, it doesn't make sense. Look what Luffy was getting up to, he'd got family. Hell, Franky had both his parents and you know what they did? Tossed him into the sea. Parents being alive is not a guarantee of anything. It says she died of an illness but for all we know, she passed away when Zoro was 15. All those Kuina scenes? His mom was just kicking back at the house, doing her own thing. "Oh, yeah, no worries, go hang in out with your little sword clubs. Just remember: what's the one rule when we go out?"

*sigh* "I'm allowed to take shortcuts or whatever pass I please as long as it doesn't involve getting on a boat." *Grumble* "I'm six years old, I know my shortcut through the mountains already! Geeze mom!"

"Yeah, well you just do what your old lady says, since she does feed you and everything. Take all the mountain shortcuts you want, kiddo. No boats."

"No boats."

"See ya in a few weeks honey. REMEMBER, BEATING BAD GUYS UP FOR FOOD DOESN'T COUNT."

"I know! You always say that! I know how bounties work!"

"Hey, I'm just trying to make sure you're staying healthy, Kiddo. And if they're criminals, the Marines can't arrest you for beating them up. Call the home den den mushi if you need anything. Love you!"

"Bye!"

(I understand exactly where Oda was going with giving his mom three traits: she was raised by criminals/thieves/bad guys, married a samurai and died from illness. I see the storyline being set. But, listen, I dare anyone to step and tell me there is absolutely no part of them - not even the smallest silver - that wouldn't rejoice at seeing THIS Zoro's relationship with his still living mom, rather than the inevitable build up to Corazon/Bellamere/Sora/Otohime/Toki & Oden/Yusie Part Du....Di-Diez)

Which brings me around to my point: why kill Zoro's mom!? What is the point other than ensuring you don't have to do the work of having to come up with a whole other character? How does the story benefit from murdering everyone's parents!? Is this a theme of the work or just a personal kink!?

Sorry, let me pull that back.

The thing about Zoro's parents is: no one cares. Don't get me, fans care very much about Zoro. Their curios what was going on, but we've been with this character for years at this point, he's never once brought them up. There aren't even shades of it.

Viewed through a certain lens, the fact they're both dead is somehow WORSE. Because you realize the number of situations the Strawhats have come into where a key component is Illness Related, Evil Pirates Murdering Folks, Parents Suffering/Dying For Their Children, and People Who Lost Parents Looking For Revenge and sometimes nearly all of those things at once! And yet Zoro has never once been emotional triggered by these situations the way Nami is with children in trouble or Sanji is with mistreated women or Chopper is when he is unable to help someone....

Or Zoro is. With Tashigi.

No one dare try and tell, "Zoro isn't the kind to react to someone just because their situation reminds him of something tragic in his own past" because that is LITERALLY his entire DEAL with Tashigi. She has a shallow, surface appearance that is similar to his best friend who died and so even just seeing her brings that up despite Tashigi being entirely unrelated and also, really only Zoro's approximation of what Kuina might have looked like a decade in the future.

So the idea that Zoro lost both his parents in tragic situations which left him homeless and with no one to take him in and his sole emotional response was apparently shrugging off and going to get his walking shoes, he got some dojos to find doesn't speak particularly well for those family dynamics.

And the thing is, this doesn't inform Zoro's character, it doesn't build or explain anything, it's just what Oda appears to do when he needs characters to have a connection to or a history with something. Fine a parental figure. Have them murdered. And with Zoro he could have done something new and different, because Zoro doesn't NEED this history in order to help establish his motivations or explain his thinking, he doesn't need this to be emotionally invested, it doesn't raise any stakes or change his path. Zoro doesn't need any of that; boy figured that all out himself before he was ten, and the parts he missed, Luffy brought with him! Anything that could be added through knowing more of Zoro's history, all it does is add another layer to something he'd already gone and established himself.

With that in mind, why NOT mix it up? Since we've been watching the crew for years and he hasn't spoken a single about his family, you could as easily pull an Ace situation. This is my family, that I have never mentioned before.

I mean have fun with it. Go wild! "Where was she? Why wasn't she looking after her kid? Who would let a child just go off for weeks like that."

"To be fair, Zoro had beaten all the local kids and was really bored. And she did pack him a few lunches. Hey, he's a kid, if he wants to go running off to find another dojo, let him! He's having fun, what's the big deal?" And obviously when he told her his plan to leave the island to hunt down bounties and eventually face off against a warlord, well he was 15, he was an adult and if that's what he wanted to do.

You could have just made her Silvers Rayleigh but a mom. It would have been amazing.

But, no... No, of COURSE she was ill.

And I'll bet she was an absolutely lovely woman too, so sweet, so caring, someone who worked hard doing housework for others in order to feed her family after her husband was tragically killed fending off pirates from raiding the island. Oh, but lately work has been harder to get because her sickness leaves her just so small and frail. I'll bet she often tried to hide just how bad it was by praising little Zoro whenever he carried the groceries or brought in the water or did some physical chore. Like, "look how strong you are, carrying that bag all by yourself. Are you sure you don't want me to help? Zozozo, I think you're just using it as an excuse to train and show off how big you're growing!" Bet he feels so proud of himself, and aren't they just the cutest little household?

I feel like I know her already. I get the sense Ter would be the kind of mother who would tease that it wasn't right how HE was always protecting HER when SHE was supposed to be the one looking out for HIM. Her fearless little tiger! (I mean, sure, she's physically killing herself working keeping food on his plate and a roof over his head, but there was that on time when she was so sick during that big storm that Zoro did all the chores and she hadn't even asked! And that other night walking back from the market when a wolf had come out at woods and starting to growl at them and she'd been terrified they would have to drop the grocery and run when she'd worked so, so hard to get money to buy enough food for the next few days but Zoro wouldn't let it get their food and eventually the thing ran off like a scared little puppy. Such a brave boy!)

Which is good because he'll need, I'm 90% sure she said, while on her death bed. She'd probably surprised to a single down tear running down his little cheeks because she doesn't remember Zoro crying, not even as a baby, and she'd hate that she would be the reason that her strong boy cried for the first time, and she'd end up telling him all about how she used to cry all the time when he was baby. She was all alone and she knew she didn't have long left and he looked so helpless in arm. She couldn't stop worrying about what could happen to him when she was no longer there to feed and protect and help him.

And Zoro would be upset he has made his mom cry so much and she'd just laugh - Zozozo - it's been years since she cried like that. She doesn't have to anymore, seeing what a strong and brave person Zoro has become over the years, she no longer worries. He is so fearless and determined and she knows he will be okay, she believes in him. And with that last breath she'll make him give her his word, promise her he'd always remember how strong he was, that he would never stop getting strong. That way, no matter what, she can rest knowing he will always.

Is that the goal? A cheap emotional underpunch that probably would make cry but also... kind of undermines a lot of Zoro's character. And also raises a lot of questions about some of the stories internal paradox but also it's just so conveniently, predictably heartbreaking that probably that no one will notice.

We've been here, we've done this!

It's just such a boring answer. It's a safety answer. I can promise you, this was not part of the plan when he first tied Zoro to a pole in a marine courtyard. This is very much after the fact, and that's FINE. There are very, very, VERY few writers creating and sort of weekly/monthly/continuous series media that go in there with a full plan, entirely story laid out in detail and every single one followed through to the letter. That is actually a scientifically accurate way to diagnose someone who has signed a contract with a demon lord. The ability to continue to build your story while maintaining a mostly accurate canon while also half making it up on the fly because, oh, wow you hadn't expected that thing to go that way. Wait, what even was your original plan? I mean it's an amazing skill¹ to be able to put out serialized content keeping the story on track, the lore mostly without contradiction, and most importantly, still having a clear way forward even though it almost definitely not the path you cleared originally. It's not easy to do and I applaud and recognize when they have that skill, I have no problem with the idea that Zoro's parents had not really been solidified as characters until relatively recently.

But seeing as there has been over a decade to think on that one, it's amazing it ended up being... Exactly what you have guessed based on every other set of parents in One Piece. But again, it's a safe answer.

Look, this way no one expects to make an appearance, he doesn't have to maybe possibly change anything he'd already decided.

Ah, they never came because they're dead and we're never going to flash back to then so.... Great. Finished with that, job done. And he didn't even have to think about Zoro's backstory and risk accidentally developing.

But! If he ever needs to shove something into Zoro's backstory with absolutely no foreshadowing, he has now created emergency backups.

He could just... Pull a Vinesmoke Sanji, or close enough. He's given a Wano connection, absolutely no characterization and luckily only introduced plot points that would be incredibly useful when attempting to emotionally manipulate the audience so they fail to notice the giant new "Well, THIS is brand new!" Product, and it has to be accepted as valid because it happened in the past. That means it helped define Zoro!