#i do think we need to stop obsessing over it tho l

[quartzwriting]

The Agent and Her Sorcerer

Pairing: Doctor Strange X Fem!Reader

Description: You, an agent who works with The Avengers, comes back to the compound to find that Doctor Strange has brought you coffee.

Warnings: mentions of drinking and doing the dirty

Word Count: 2.4K

A/N: Originally posted on Quotev | Things have been busy, so has mental heath things, so idk when new things will come out. I love this piece tho so I hope this makes up for it. 

Masterlist | Fic Reading Recs | Ao3 | Quotev | Coffee

Gif by @cumberbatchlives

Technically a sequel to The Sorcerer and The Agent

When you stepped off the jet and onto the landing, you let out a long breath of relief. That field mission was finally over. It was an early call that got you out of bed before the sun came up. Too early for your body to function, but with the encouragement of coffee and Captain Rogers forcing you out of bed, you conquered the task. You checked your phone for the time, it was now around noon. You were ready to sit down, maybe even take a nap. You desperately needed a break.

But you knew you would not be able to rest.

Tony was already on your ass. He came out of nowhere, scaring the life back into you, and shoved a tablet in your hands. "Before you file your report, you got another one."

You groaned, falling into step beside him to make your way into the building. "Already?"

Tony pushed a few things on your tablet and an image came up. It was one of the objects you had recovered from this morning's mission. On the side was a stream of jumbled letters and numbers.

"Decoding, seriously?"

Tony shrugged, with a grin on his face that you wanted to punch off. "Hey, you're best for the job."

"Can't FRIDAY just run through it?"

"Where's the fun in that?"

You glared at him.

"Come on, you got this."

You rolled your eyes, "Fine. Only because it might give us a new lead."

"Atta girl! Don't stress yourself out."

You were already stressed.

"Oh and by the way, someone in the lounge is here to see you."

After a brief moment of surprise, you knew who it was. Tony saw the smile appear on your face, then winked at you. You rolled your eyes at him.

You tucked the tablet under your arm and made your way to the lounge. Maybe you were getting a little break before continuing for the day after all. A small amount of energy that came from your happiness pushed you forwards.

When you got there, sure enough, there he was.

"Hey, I thought you might want coffee."

You chuckled. Of course you wanted coffee.

Stephen Strange had a coffee tray in his hands that had two cups in it. He was standing around looking a little awkward, a little out of place at the compound. He looked relived to see you, as if anyone else in the doorway would made him embarrassed. His serious demeanor was no where in sight, a hint of warmth in his cheeks.

He wasn't wearing his sorcerer robes, but casual clothes. A jacket, dark jeans, sneakers, a t-shirt, simple things that you got to see him in more often now. You liked it. Very much.

Without any hesitation, you made your way over to him. Giving him a big smile the entire way. You put your tablet down so you could take the cup he was holding out for you. "Thank you." Your gloved hands brushed against his bare shaking ones. The contact was enough to widen your smile.

"Don't mention it."

"Hi! How are you? What's new?" You asked him, leaning one hand on a table and sipping your coffee with the other.

Stephen let out a breath, "Well this morning I helped to try and close a dimensional rip in space time. If we hadn't managed to close it then it would have swallowed an entire country."

"Sounds exciting, Doctor." You hid a smirk behind a look of playfully exaggerated interest.

"Oh it was." He was trying to hide a smirk too, "How about you, Agent (L/N)?" His cheek twitched, trying desperately to not let that smirk slide through.

"Well I just came back from a mission in London where an very well hidden Hydra base was found. There were a few of their agents there, kicked some ass, and managed to recover some of their tech and files. You know, normal things."

"This is a very casual conversation despite its content." He commented.

You both broke after that, smirks turning into fits of chuckles. You reached up and kissed him on the cheek.

The two of you were developing into a 'thing' recently. Whenever he would come to the compound, you would have your eye on him. And you could feel his eye on you as well. It had been going back and forth for a while, finding excuses to talk to each other and purposely being in the same room as one another. Casual attraction.

You noticed the little details in him. Taking every opportunity to make a snarky comment during meetings. Dedication and a 'cool calm' overtaking him whenever disusing anything serious. His gaze of sparkling blue, sharp features, and welcoming smile. The very presence of him either made your heart stop or quicken, sometimes both simultaneously.

Whenever you were both having a conversation, whether for work or just friendly chatter, you found yourself entranced by him. His voice, his gorgeous face, his personality. Not casual attraction anymore, you were sightly obsessed.

But there was always this look in his eyes, that he recognized your attraction to him. And a look that told you he had similar emotions. You just knew it. You paid attention to him. You noticed him paying attention to you with interest, catching him staring on occasion.

Things had went from zero to one hundred at a party that Tony threw last week. You had a little too much to drink. Stephen did too. You found yourselves alone. Things escalated from there. You woke up the next morning in his bed in the New York sanctum, cuddled in his arms. You both went out for breakfast that morning. He took you out for dinner a day after.

Ever since then, he shows up at the compound when he can, or calls you to ask how you are doing. Work for both of you has gotten pretty busy lately so finding time to go out together was hard. But you promised each other another date as soon as you both were free.

This was a long time coming, you both knew that. All it took was one little push. But you did not expect that push to be a little alcohol. It happened anyways, so you decided to take it without complaints.

Stephen looked around, making sure no one else was in the room to intrude. After confirming, he leaned down and stole a kiss from you. You giggled and let him, leaning up into him. He pulled away to let you have another sip of your coffee.

He wasn't drinking from his own cup. You felt his eyes on you. It did not take long to figure out why. You were still in your uniform, one that is similar to Natasha's. Black bodysuit, weapons belt. Skin tight. A blush crept up on your face, some memories coming back from that night. He has seen you wearing this before, but now his gaze had a different weight to it.

"Liking the view, Strange?" You asked with a raised eyebrow and mischief glittering in your eyes.

He shrugged, "Now that I know what it all looks like, I like the view even more." Casual. Calm. Cocky.

You playfully smacked him on the shoulder, bringing his hint of a smile into light. Tucking the tablet under your arm, coffee in one hand and Stephen's own hand in another, you pulled him over to one of the couches. The two of you sat down. "I have a little tech and paperwork to do right now. You're welcome to stay while I do it, if you're free."

He relaxed beside you, an arm slinging over the back of the couch. "I've got time. Wong is watching the Sanctum, I have the afternoon off."

"Maybe if I finish early we can go out?" You asked with a perky smile.

He gestured to your open tablet. "Better get to work then." You laughed, quickly kissed him, and did get to work. You explained to him your tasks, the decoding you needed to do and then fill out your mission report file. He seemed interested, looking over your shoulder the whole time as you explained your process. He watched you complete the decoding, send the results to the cloud, and start typing away at your morning's mission report.

Stephen's presence behind you the entire time was comforting, taking away some of the stress of your busy work. His warmth and the smell of coffee in the air made you content. You felt him start to fiddle with the tails of your hair, you jokingly swatting him away before he went right back to it.

During the breakfast date, and the dinner date, you saw more little things about him you liked. There was curiosity and interest in his eyes. Behind that serious shell was gentleness and kindness, a full heart who thinks for others. It was like after that night, you got to see the real Stephen Strange, not the Sorcerer Supreme. He was a gentle lover, even drunk, making sure you were comfortable the entire time. Eating out together, he was a gentleman. Seeing him around the compound, he seemed to be smiling more.

You never knew the great Doctor Stephen Strange was a total softy. It made you like him even more.

While writing, you found yourself putting extra care into reviewing the mission and its details. This may have been caused by knowing Stephen was watching your every move and you wanted to make a good impression of your work ethic. You made sure to skim through for any mistakes or typos in your writing as well. After some time, discarded cups on the coffee table and Stephen now subtly nuzzling your neck, you submitted your report.

"Do you have to do that after every mission?" The man who was practically wrapping his entire body around yours on the couch asked.

"Yeah. That was one of the longer ones. Most things were more straightforward this time around, but I did a lot in London today." You heaved a sigh, momentary wiggled out of Stephen's arms to plunk your tablet down on the coffee table, and relaxed back into the couch.

"Have anything else to do?" He asked.

"Not currently." You turned to him, now giving him your full attention. He seemed to like it.

"Well then, maybe you and me can go grab lunch?"

"I'd like that."

You watched his eyes dip down, briefly glancing at your lips before looking back up at your eyes. You caught him. This told you what he was thinking about, and soon you were thinking about it yourself. And then you were doing it. One of his hands rested on your cheek, the other found your waist as he kissed you. Your hands tangled around his neck and up into his hair gently.

It was like you lost track of time. You just focused on Stephen, a hand of his running over the fabric of your tight uniform.

"I'm glad Tony threw that party."

You and Stephen urgently parted at the interruption. Standing in the doorway, Steve and Natasha had smug grins. They were still in their uniforms from the mission, Steve's shield strapped across his back. You groaned.

When you told only one person that you went home with Stephen that night, it had spread through the compound like wildfire. Your coworkers all knew, and they were relieved. Finally, they had said. You must have not noticed how obvious you and Stephen's electric stares and intrigued chatter were.

You were a little embarrassed at being caught making out, but the embarrassment practically radiated off Stephen. He immediately straightened upright and cleared his throat. Apparently he did not show his vulnerable side to anyone but you, him instantly clicking back into a neutral expression when facing someone else.

Nat got right to the point, ignoring the irritated look on your face, "We got a new lead. There was a new location marked in one of their files found in London. Venice. We leave in thirty."

A frown glazed your features. You were really looking forward to spending some time with Stephen again. You looked at Stephen, who shared a mutual disappointed look in his eyes. But you knew that he would go let you work. It was annoying.

It wouldn't hurt to ask. Would it?

You stood up from the couch, grabbing your tablet to pull up your report again. You strided towards your bosses, a lick of confidence in your posture.

"Um actually I was kinda hoping if I could get the rest of the day off." You sang.

Steve let out a breath in a smug laugh, while Nat was hiding one of her own.

With a smile, you handed Nat your tablet, the mission report on the screen. Clean, detailed, care put into it, reflecting your hard work you had accomplished all morning. You saw her eyes look it over, the captain leaning in to do the same.

"You did work hard this morning." Steve pointed out.

"And you did eventually save our asses in the end." Nat added.

As you said to Stephen earlier, you did kick ass during the mission.

You gave them a look of hope. It was obvious what you wanted, they both knew it. For some reason you felt like they were lengthening the moment to tease you. To leave you in anticipation.

After what felt like minutes instead of seconds, the two turned to each other and exchanged expressions. Steve nodded. Natasha handed back your tablet.

"Go play with your sorcerer and his magic hands." Natasha whispered to you with a wink. A deep blush crept up onto your neck, and you saw her smirk. Scrunching your face up in a mock sneer, you snatched your tablet back.

"Have fun, you two." Steve said as a goodbye, and him and Natasha left the lounge to get ready for part two of today's investigation.

You turned back to Stephen. He had an impressed look on his face. Now standing, he threw away your empty coffee cups in a nearby bin."You didn't have to do that, you know."

"Too bad. Already did." You shrugged, sauntering back over to stand in front of him.

Stephen gave you a smile, and opened a slingring portal right in front of you both. "Then lets go."

You put down your tablet and went to empty your weapons belt. "I'm still in uniform, Stephen." You laughed, "I should go change first."

The sorcerer snapped his fingers, and your skintight Avengers uniform turned into a pair of leggings and a blouse. An outfit Stephen had complimented you on last week. You were surprised he remembered it.

You rolled your eyes at him, and before you could say anything, he grabbed your hand and pulled you through the portal.

[xtinyaurora]

Mafia!Ateez Reaction: Their Y/N is a spy from another gang; part 2

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➼ requested?: yes, but I lost the request

➼ genre: mafia au

➼ pairing: mafia!ateez x neutral!reader

➼ Word-count: 2,1k+

➼ Warnings: nsfw content, strong language, cursing, hints of spanking, abuse, violence, degrading, humiliating, punching, punishments, pet names, death threads / mentions of death, dark themes,...

➼ Note: This is not based on their real behavior or meant to represent real life. This is simply a fan fiction and is only for the purposes of fun, it’s a hobby. Read at your own risk!

➼ A/N note: I don’t know how to feel about this but here you go. Oh and: there’s a tiny bit of fluff and angst included, enjoy!

➼ First part

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Park Seonghwa

Exactly one month has passed since Seonghwa caught you and brought you back. One month since you lost your family and friends. Seonghwa made sure that there were no survivors. Since the day he bought you back, you were locked in the basement, Seonghwa always making sure to give you your daily punishment. You slowly started to belive that he lost all his love for you and wanted you to die as slow and painful as possible. You tried everything to explain why you did what you did, even begging one of his men for help, but it was no use. When night time came around, Seonghwa entered the basement, same expression as usual. When he approached your chained figure, he pulled out a knife. You started to panic, hectically shaking your head. „Pshhh” He placed his left index finger on his lips. Tears started to split out of your eyes. This was it, he is going to kill you. When he went behind your back and grabbed your throat, you closed your eyes, not ready to die. He slowly traced the knife over your neck. The only thing that could be heard were your sobs but then Seonghwas chuckle broke the silence, your eyes opening again. „Dumb pet, did you really think I would kill you? I think I made you learn your lesson, no? Stop crying now, I don’t want your eyes to be puffy when we go out for dinner. Oh and Y/N, better appreciate my tolerance and start learning all the rules I’ve set for you once I bought you back up. Remember, it’s all up to me on how your live looks like. Now let’s go get ready, the car is already waiting.”

Kim Hongjoong

Your body felt sore, head spinning. You tried to reach out for your phone but your hands were tied on the bed. You closed your eyes. When you looked around, there was no sign of your lover. You thought about a way to free yourself but you knew it would be no use. You signed out loudly. You barely remembered the previous night, only knowing that you got beaten. Right at that moment, Hongjoong walked into your shared bedroom, with only a towel covering his lower body. „Good morning.” You didn’t respond, only staring at him. Hongjoong probably didn’t like your silence, that’s why he made his way towards you, angry mode on. „Was all the beating yesterday not enough, do you want me to beat you again?” You shook your head. „I’m sorry. Good morning.” A smile creeped on his face. „Good girl / boy.” He then please a soft kiss on your forehead, starting to talk again. „We will have a talk after the Meeting. Rest for a bit, I know I went a bit too hard on you yesterday but you deserved it. Sorry, doll. One of the maids will come and bring you some food. Be good until I return.”

Jeong Yunho

„Mr. Jeong Yunho, do you promise to be a lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death does you apart?” Yunho smiled. „I do.” Then it was your turn. „And do you Mr. / Mrs. Y/L/N Y/N, promise to be a lawfully wedded wife / husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death does you apart?” You breathed out loudly, nodding your head. „I do.” You felt how Yunhos nervousness wanised away. „You may kiss each other now.” Was the last thing the priest said. Yunho did what he was told, immediately reaching out for you and placing a soft kiss on your lips. After your wedding, both of you made your way straight to his private jet, going on your planned vocation. „Are you exited?” You didn’t hear what he said, lost on your thoughts. „Y/N, I am talking to you.” „Hm?” He shook his head. „This is supposed to be one of the best days in your life but you don’t seem happy. What is wrong?” „I'm fine Yunho, I was just dreaming around.” Silence. „Is it because I killed your family and that they couldn’t come today?“ You slowly turned your head in his direction. „No Yunho, it was me who wanted their death. I wanted to prove my love for you and I am happy now, so don’t worry, baby. It’s just a bit overwhelming, you know, the marriage and stuff.” Your husband smiled at you again, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear. „Good. I love you too baby and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Kang Yeosang

He took you down there and gave you a good long punishment. No, he didn’t use any tools, he punched you with his bare hands. Your face and body were bleeding, ass red and marked with his hand print. You cried. Not the fact that you got beaten hurts you more, but the fact that Yeosang himself did it. Never ever in your live did you think that he would pull something like this on you but then you realized, that he wanted to show you how he feels for what you’ve done to him. He wanted to make you feel the same way he feels. You will get over the pain of a punishment like this but you might never get over the pain that your heart is holding, I mean, how could he trust you ever again? There is a chance tho but you have to work hard for that and who knows how long it will take. No matter what it takes, you are ready to do it. At the end of the day, you two love each other, right? „You will never ever pull something like this again, is this clear?” You silently nodded your head. „Good, now get on all fours and follow me around, no matter where I go to. Don’t even think I care about humiliating you, dirty pet. Now let’s go, you don’t wanna disappoint me again, right?”

Choi San

After you two reached his mansion, he pulled you out by your hair and took you straight to his office. All you did was to cry. After watching you for a bit, he approached your kneeling figure and pointing his gun at you. „Was it worth it? To play with my feelings like that. Tell me! What did I do wrong, huh?! I’ve done nothing but love and protect you! You ungrateful whore!” Both of you were crying heavily, Sans head was red out of all the yelling. „Kill me, San. Please, kill me. I deserve it, now hurry.” Sans face went from angry-sad to desperat-sad. He started to cry even harder. „You know that I can’t. Trust me, I do want to kill you for what you’ve done, but fuck, I love you! I hate to love you but I do and I know that there was something between us! I had to be...” He sunk to he knees, both of you looked each other deep in the eyes. „Tell me you love me, Y/N. Tell me that what we had was real, that you do have feelings for me, too. Say that we will always stay together and that we will have a family in the future. Come on, say it!” You couldn’t even breath normally from all the crying but you wanted to tell him that he was right, you needed to. „I love you, San. You’re right, everything I felt for you was real. I do want to live with you until we take our last breath. I want to have a family with you and I just want us both to be more than happy together. I am sorry for all I’ve done, but I had a reason, San. I-“ You were interrupted by your fiancé. He gave you a tight hug, scared of letting you go. „Psh, stop. I will find out why you did but for now I just want to stay with you like this and forget about everything, okay? Just please, please don’t hurt me anymore, Y/N.”

Song Mingi

You knew that when your gang comes and tries to take you back, they will fail and that’s exactly what happened that day. Mingi was way too powerful and way too obsessed over you but you were happy how everything turned out. „You’re not ready yet?” Mingi walked into your shared room, making his way behind you. „Give me two minutes.” He smilingly nodded his head. „Okay. I will wait downstairs.” You nodded your head. He planned this date for a bit now, his behavior being a bit strange. Once you were done, you went down where Mingi was waiting for you. After finishing your dinner at the restaurant, Mingi took your hand in his. „Y/N, today is a really special day for me, well, for us. I want nothing more than to have a future with you, to call you my wife / husband. Baby, I wanna make it official to the whole world now. Therefore I got you this.” He then pulled out a tiny black box. Your heart started to race. When he opened the box, you faced a beautiful diamond ring. Tears started to form in your eyes, one of your hands covering your mouth in shook. So that’s why Mingi was so exited about this dinner. „I-I don’t know what to say.” A chuckle left his mouth. „Well, you have to tell me if you want to become my wife / husband. Not that you have a choice, but I want you to say it out loud, baby.” „Yes, Mingi, I do!” He started smiling as bright as the sun, immediately taking the ring out and putting the ring on your right ring finger. „I love you. Thank you so much for making me the happiest men alive, Y/N.”

Jung Wooyoung

After a few months, Wooyoung was convinced that he trained you into the perfect pet. Honestly, it was hell. He let you starve, he punched you, humiliated you and has done so much more just for you to beg him to kill you. At some point you stopped and thanked him instead. That was it, this was when Wooyoung stopped. „Y/N! Hurry up, we need to leave soon!” Both of you were getting ready for a mission. You needed to leave the country, that’s why you were currently packing your suitcase. You hated the fact that you had no privacy. Wooyoung positioned guards EVERYWHERE around the house. So as you packed your underwear you asked the guard to turn around but he refused. „Come on, I feel uncomfortable with strangers seeing my underwear.” The guard didn’t move nor looked away. You rolled your eyes. „Please?” „I'm sorry Mrs. / Mr. Y/L/N but I am obliged to watch your every step. Mr. Jung would kill me if I let anything happen, no one know what you’re up to. You might carry a dangerous object with you and if Mr. Jung finds out, he will not only kill me but you too. I ask for understanding. For now, you might hurry up a bit, you know how the boss gets when someone’s taking too long for his liking.”

Choi Jongho

You indeed told him everything to the tiniest detail. Jongho believed you but he showed you the cold shoulder. You did understood tho, it just made you sad. As your were taking a shower, strong arms wrapped around your body. You turned your head around, looking directly into Jonghos beautiful brown eyes. He smiled at you. „You were taking too long, I had to come in.” You let out a little chuckle, turning your body around. You both just stared at each other’s eyes. „What’s wrong?” Jongho frowned. „What do you mean, Y/N?” Now you were the one smiling. „Your eyes. They hold some discomfort in them.” Jonghos grip loosened a bit. He didn’t say anything, only staring into your eyes. „Your eyes hold some discomfort too, Y/N.” You then broke the eye contact, looking at his bare chest. „Well, I have a good reason. I mean, not long ago I broke the heart of the most precious and most beautiful men on earth.” Jongho lifted your head up, letting his thumb carry your face softly. „Yea, maybe, but at the same time I killed the family of the most perfect human being of the entire world. To add on, I didn’t took enough research and ended up confronting you with things that you didn’t even do and the worst out of all things; almost killed you, Y/N, so please stop feeling bad because of me. I don’t want those beautiful eyes to hold sadness in them, okay?” Another smiled creeped on your face. „Only if you do the same for me Mr. Choi.” Then, both of you stated to burst out into laugher.

[yellowsuitcase]

Draco as a boyfriend pt 2 // Draco Malfoy HC

A/N: Part two my loves, Happy New Year! Be safe <3

Masterlist

Part 1

So we know the guys a child but also a romantic at heart.

But Draco is also very smart, he knows how to push your buttons.

Within the first month of dating he’d find out where your ‘spot’ was. As in, where he could place kisses to make you go wild.

Say it was the skin on your neck beneath your ear, this man would kiss you there every time you were giving him a hard time, or just to be a lil bitch.

“Draco, why must you bug me every time I attempt to study?”

^^ He wouldn’t even reply, he’d simply brush your hair back and kiss you gently, maybe even nipping your skin a bit. And just like that, your anger/frustration is quelled.

Jealous...he gets v e r y jealous. Is the type to give you ‘the look’ when you’re talking with other guys.

A bit needy. He doesn’t like admitting when he needs help or when he feels afraid/weak/sad, but when he works up the courage to confess these troubles to you, his gates open and he breaks down. He’s always trying to be strong, to put up a front, but especially around 6th year, he’s very hostile and visibly depressed.

He’s super emotional and needs someone to be able to care for him when he loses control.

He is quite dominant in bed, but will let you top if you really want to and if you prove to him you can.

Would never ever ever pressure you into do anything you didn’t want to do though, he is very good at controlling himself (as all men should be but alas)

Nicknames and pet names, he’s quite fond of them. His favorites are babygirl, darling, and love. But he’d def make one specific to you. Maybe if you called him Ferret (cuz he got turned into one lmao) he’d call you an animal as well. Perhaps your patronus. If he’s angry tho, he’ll call you by your last name.

The boy has a temper, but something about your touch is almost always able to dispel it. However, if you two ever really got into an argument (which is pretty likely just cuz being a teenager and young adult is hormone central) he would probably be the type to start hitting shit tbh. He would never ever hit you, of course, but the ink bottle on his desk may get smashed.

I also get the feeling he wouldn’t be the type to resolve issues before going to sleep. Like he has no problem storming out of your room or kicking you out of his. The next morning though, he’d get on his knees if he had to to make you forgive him. 

I don’t think he’d be crazy about naps, but he’d love if you came to his room just to sleep while he works. Literally his favorite thing is to be doing his homework and occasionally look up to see you fast asleep in his bed. And once he finished he’d go over to you and kiss your face, absolutely obsessed with you. You’d always get embarrassed when he tells you how cute you looked.

“You look so pretty when you’re asleep.”

“Draco, that’s creepy and also no I don’t.”

“How would you know?”

“Because you’ve taken just about a hundred photos of me.”

“I can’t help it, you’re so adorable. Plus, you’d do the same if I had fallen asleep with my arms all sprawled out like that one time.”

Another thing he does when you’re asleep is rant. Like I’ve mentioned, he isn’t one to openly talk about his emotions despite having MANY. So when you’re deep in dreamland, he voices all his worries and troubles. 

Yet aNOTHEr thing he’ll do when you’re asleep, is wake you up in a         s p e c i a l way, if you know what i mean ;) 

“Good morning, love.”

“Fuck, Dray. Don’t stop.”

Cuddles. All the time. Gosh how he loves to spoon you (he’s the big spoon ofc)

Tickle fights are a common occurrence. They get you all tuckered out and sleepy and my god does he love sleepy Y/N. 

“Is my baby sleepy?” he’d ask you. You hardly ever replied with words, opting to groan and roll away form him. He’d pull you right back tho, guiding your head to his warm chest where his heartbeat would lull you to sleep.

“Sleep, love. I’ve got you.”

As we know, he is a child. I think that when you guys are alone, especially late into the night, he’d turn into a puppy dog of sorts.

“Y/N,” he’d call.

“Yes, Dray?”

“Did you know that I, Draco Malfoy, fancy you?”

“Yes, I did. I fancy you as well.”

“Well who wouldn’t, I’m Draco Malfoy aren’t I?”

All you would do is roll your eyes and remind him that if he keeps thinking like that he’ll get a big head. But if we’re being honest, he already does.

I think he might be fond of your singing. Even if you can’t sing, I think he’d love to hear you hum a little tune. It would put him at ease.

“Sing to me, won’t you?”

“Must I?”

“You absolutely must.”

Taglist: @beiahadid @pastelpuffbar @cutie1365 @dracoxmgg @lumlfy @sambucky8 @emilianamason @raplinethereal @DixieTheMorab24 @xoxohollands @prongsandprancer @ch0kemedracomalfoy @avlauriaa @purpleskymalfoy @mariah-can-dream @drxcomvlfx @sydnee-kom-spacekru @dracosgoodgirl @voilawind @gloryekaterina @anchoeritic @ragxsxragxs @exoticlizard@dlmmdl

[weasleytentia]

I’ll meet you there

 ↳ I’ll meet you there, Fred Weasley

fred weasley x fem!gryffindor!reader

summary: after the disaster at Bill and Fleur’s wedding you and Fred share one of the last tranquil moments together before the Battle of Hogwarts.

warnings: slight mentions of sex between consensual adults, almost non-existent, mentions of blood, violence, death and lots of angst. some fluff at the beginning tho <3<3

comments are very much appreciated!!

a/n: i cried writing this so i really hope u like this. i spent more than five hours working on this even tho i’m not satisfied at all. please lemme know if u like this, i may have changed some things in the story since i got pretty carried away haha. xx

Your fingertips traced circles of various sizes on his chest and you could still feel his fastened heartbeat through that touch, the love marks you had left on his skin were still of a very intense purple. His left arm was holding you closer to him while the other was calmly and tenderly caressing your hair, your messy locks were spread across the pillow. 

“What will be of us, Freddie, in a few years?” You hummed with a raspy voice while the first rays of the sun made their way through the curtains, and you could feel their timid warmness on your bare skin. “What will be of all of us?”

A few days had passed since Bill and Fleur’s wedding and since the Ministry of Magic had fallen. You had yet to recover from that night, Ron, Harry and Hermione had disappeared leaving you with nothing but worries, and the scars that event had left in your heart would probably never go away. Things weren’t surely going too well in the Wizarding World - well, actually - you couldn’t even force yourself to remember those days in which you had no worries at all: the only thought of you, an eleven-years-old girl, entering the gates of Hogwarts for the first time almost made you want to go back and live your first year forever. 

That year you had met Fred and George Weasley, a very odd couple of twins - you had thought - but since that day in the Gryffindor Common Room you became inseparable: there was no Fred and George Weasley without Y/N Y/L/N. You weren’t actually the type to pull pranks on other students nor the one to misbehave, in fact, you were quite a bookworm and had an obsession regarding Hogwarts’ rules - nevertheless - you still were their best accomplice. One time the twins had tried one of their infamous candies on a younger student and he had to immediately go to the toilet: needless to say, professor McGonagall had questioned Fred and George and before you could even say “Quidditch” you were in detention. “I can’t believe that I got in trouble with you guys.” you had hissed while writing the one-hundreth sorry on a paper. “The truth is that you just missed us too much.”

“I think we will be just fine, darling.” Fred murmured with a relaxed tone in his voice, never stopping to play with your hair. You knew he just said that to calm you down and to not cause you more stress, but how could you ever believe him? 

Your chin raised up just a little so that you could see the expression on his face, and you contemplated the man that had accompanied you for so many years, never leaving your side. His thin lips were still reddish and almost plumper, recalling the sweet night you had passed together, and his eyes were closed as if he had nothing to worry about, as if in the whole world there was no one but the two of you. His way of being impassive to difficult situations wasn’t really odd to you since he rarely showed any kind of concern, but there were times in which you had witnessed an unknown part of Fred: during your third year at Hogwarts you got seriously injured during one of your Quidditch matches, falling from your broom and hitting your head. You were asleep for a couple of days and when you woke up in the middle of the night, you were utterly surprised at noticing a sleeping Fred right beside you, barely fitting in the chair Madame Pomfrey had given him. As soon as your hand touched his thigh he opened his eyes wide, immediately reaching for your hand, and you almost remember seeing a different glimpse in his eyes as if he had cried, That night, you shared your first timid kiss and since that cool spring night, he never left your side.

“I don’t know, Freddie,” you slightly got up sitting on the bed that was never meant for two and turned your head to look at him. “Your brother has just gone poof” and you gestured that with your hands, “What if the-they are gone? What if they found them and, and we just don’t…”

“Love,” The redhead quickly got up too and came closer to your face. “They are not a bunch of idiots and they surely know how to protect themselves.” He took one of your locks and put it behind your ear, “What about us?” you asked, your eyes searching for a source of reassurance in his. “O-Our family, our friends…”

He parted your lips but your heart was burdened of so much weight that you didn’t let him speak, quickly talking before he could. “The battle is imminent, Freddie, we cannot pretend that everything is going to be fine,” Your eyes were now watery as his never stopped staring into yours, not even a glimpse of sadness or worry. “It’s just a matter of time and I don’t want to risk it.” You breathed out, “I don’t want to lose you.”

Fred was quick to wipe your tears away with his thumbs as he took your face into his palms, lightly kissing the tip of your nose as he always did when you were about to cry, which - in some way - calmed you a bit. As the warmness of his hands left your cheeks you felt the soft material of the blanket on your shoulders, which made a light smile appear on your lips. 

“You’re so beautiful when you smile,” he hummed, “that’s what makes me go through this shit, your smile Y/N, I never want you to stop smiling, alright? ‘Cause your smile it’s my only source of happiness now.”

“What if…”

“You won’t lose me, love, I promise you that.” Fred got up and picked up his shirt from the floor. “I’ll always stay by my pretty girl’s side, alright?”

From the first time in a few days you found yourself to smile sincerely.

You opened your arms demanding one of his tight and endless hugs, and as you snuggled more into his chest you closed your eyes, cradled by the same perfume you had smelled in your Amortentia during your fifth year: fireworks, candies and the familiar scent of the Burrow.

                                                         ∘◦❀◦∘

“Expelliarmus!”

Your right leg incredibly hurt as you limped into the cold and oddly emptied hallways, a few witches and wizards still battling against each other, throwing colourful spells from their wands that made the place look like a show of fireworks. Your leg had been cut by a spell casted by a Death Eater and was now bleeding uncontrollably, the aching pain made you bite your lip.

You couldn’t recognize which of the many hallways you were crossing which was odd since you had walked those very steps during your seven years there, but everything was chaotic and... different.

In fact, Hogwarts wasn’t the same place anymore: some of the walls had fallen down and the candles that once lit up the school were now extinguished, the same place in which you saw yourself and your friends grow up, full of happiness and friendship, was now a gloomy and cold grave. Although the thought of encountering another Death Eater made shivers run through your spine your main concern was not finding Fred anywhere, since you both parted ways just right after the beginning of the battle. 

“Stay with dad, you got me?”

Fred’s eyes looked at Arthur, his father, who was standing just a few meters away from you while the two of you had found a corner apart from everyone else. You had felt the urge to embrace him, squeezing the fabric of his coat. 

“Why?” you cried into his chest, “why can’t we stick together?”

“Y/N, love” he tenderly cupped your cheeks with his steady hands looking at you with the same Love with which he had looked at you during your first Yule Ball together. “I have to stick with Georgie, he needs me.”

You closed your eyes biting your lower lip.

“Dad will protect you, alright, darling?”

You nodded in response unable to utter a single word.

Chaos started to fill the room as Voldemort’s army broke the protection spell but you never stopped looking at Fred, still searching for that reassurance.

For the first time his eyes weren’t sparkly but had a glimpse of uncertainty and fear.

 “I’ll find you.” you murmured, “At the Great Hall.”

“I’ll meet you there.” You could feel the tension build between the two of you and in a matter of seconds, your lips crashed together, as he held you close to him as if he wished to do anything but to let you go. That kiss didn’t last long since, one moment Fred was standing right in front of you and after a few seconds you had lost him along with Arthur.

You were all on your own.

“Y/N.”

You heard a feminine voice that made you immediately turn around the corner, finding one of your close friends, Luna Lovegood, standing there. You instantly couldn’t think of anything else but to hug her tightly, her being the only familiar face you had seen in a while. You couldn’t say that you seriously understood Luna and her ramblings about weird Magical Creatures, but her personality and her immense loyalty to you had made you love her a lot. After breaking the hug you noticed a cut on her cheek and you sighed in relief. 

“I’m so glad that you’re alive.”

“Thank you,” she smiled, “Have you seen Harry?”

“No, I haven’t seen him at all, have you seen Fred?”

Luna looked at the ceiling as if she was thinking very hard to remember what she had seen, given that many things were happening at the same time.

All of a sudden, your head started to spin as you heard a hissing voice coming from an unknown location: then, you realised to whom that voice belonged. 

The words were very clear, the battle was now over and all of Voldemort’s minions had retreated. You glanced toward Luna who put her wand down and your brief moment of happines was soon replaced by a strange feeling.

“Luna, please tell me if you have seen him.” “I reckon he was with his brother, George.”

She then lowered her gaze to your bleeding leg as she started asking question on how you wounded yourself, but her presence was now minor, you had to figure out where your boyfriend was. Your brain was trying to work out a few places in which he could find him and suddenly, it hit her.

“The Great Hall.”

You murmured to yourself more than to Luna and quickly nodded a thank you to her before sprinting away toward the place in which you had spent most of your days. As you ran - trying to ignore the aching pain your body was in - all of the past years spent by his side started to resurface in your mind: the long walks toward Hogsmeade holding hands like little kids and the multiple butterbeers you would drink in just one evening, the various nights where you snuck out of your dorms and explored the castle using the Marauder’s Map, the hours of detention spent together cuddling and giggling at his jokes about Snape’s nose. The kisses he gave you everytime you won at Quidditch shouting to everyone in the Common Room: “That’s my girl!”

As soon as you crossed the immense doors of the Great Hall all of your thoughts vanished like dust in the wind. The first person you saw was Ron and you smiled widely limping toward him, but there was no smile, only a simpathetic sad expression. You felt a strange sensation at the tip of your stomach as something didn’t feel quite right.

“Ron.” You mumbled with a dry mouth. “Where’s everyone?”

Ron didn’t answer, instead, he just lowered his gaze and took a few steps to his right, revealing a scene you had only thought of in the worst of your nightmares. George was standing still, looking at you with tears streaming down his face, sobbing uncontrollably. His eyes were now void as if he had been deprived of his own soul. Molly was kneeling down just like Arthur and Percy, while Ginny was crying in Harry’s arms, and as you stood there all of their eyes were on you. 

Every step you took was like being stabbed in the heart, each time by a much sharper knife. You started to feel your legs go numb and you didn’t even feel the pain of the wound anymore, because the pain irradiating into your chest was much more stronger. You fell to your knees, arms immediately reaching for the fabric of his clothes, squeezing them tight making your knuckles become white, and you contemplated his face.

“Fred,” you whispered as your tears fell on his shirt, “Freddie please, please, wake up.”

His once brown eyes were now closed, his face was covered in ashes and seemed to be paler. He looked as beautiful as the last time you had seen him, but when you sweetly brought your hand to his check, you found it cold to the touch. “What happened, Molly?” It came out as an odd murmur, your brain still not processing what you were seeing, “Did he, d-did he hit his head? We should-, we probably should bring him to a muggle hospital.”

The woman couldn’t stop herself from crying as she reached for the top of your head, caressing your hair. “Oh, Y/N, dear...”

“Fred?”

You asked once again and checked for a movement, a wink, anything. 

Maybe he was just faking it to scare everyone and then, when no one saw it coming, he would stand up on his feet at laugh at all of you for believing such a stupid thing. Fred Weasley couldn’t have died like that.

The more you looked, the more his chest didn’t move an inch, but as you desperately searched for any sign you noticed his lips curled into a small yet visible smile, and then you realized.

He was gone.

Fred Weasley was gone and had left you in just a couple of hours. 

The one person who had never judged you, the one person who had planned a forever with you, had just left you and there was nothing you could do about it. 

Fred Weasley was dead.

The screams of agony were almost muffled by all of the voices into that crowded place and by George’s embrace. As he held you tight the both of you cried the unjust and unexplained death of a brother, a partner in crime, a lover.

Even in death Fred Weasley had left you with one of the best gifts you could have ever asked for and that had made all of your days bright... his smile.

[under-the-cherrytree]

The Phantom of the Opera chapter 2❣︎

Phantom Hanako x reader

Previous chapter (chapter 1)

A/n: Lets be honest, I didn't expect to continue this-

I didn't know what to do for chapter 2 so I just did whatever came to mind...

I do know what is going to happen in chapter 3 tho!

Anyways, I hope you enjoy and have a good day or night!

You put your hand on the stair railing leading to the top floor where the curtain fell.

“Don't worry… there is nothing up there” You reassured yourself. Before you could take a step you felt someone put a hand on your shoulder causing you to jump.

“Oh sorry for scaring you! You’re Y/n l/n, right?” The stranger asked.

“Yeah that me… and you are..?” You turned to the boy. He had light orange hair and bright blue eyes and was holding what looked like an umbrella.

“I’m Kou! Kou Minamoto!”

“Oh you are the manager's younger brother! Sorry for not recognizing you sooner!”

“It's fine, It's not like I perform on stage or anything” He nervously laughed.

“Do you need anything?” You asked.

“Oh not really, I just wanted to know if we could perhaps be friends!” His cheeks turned pink and he looked down. He reminded you of a kid.

“Of course!” You smiled.

“Y/n!! Kou!!” The cream haired girl called out to us.

“Oh hey Nene.” You turned to her.

“Mitsuba is on his way to the hospital… did you see what happened Kou?” She asked.

“Yeah, it was crazy…” Kou looked at me with a worried expression. “Well lets get going now, I bet they will want us in the front of the stage!”

“Yeah!” Yashiro said, “Lets go!”

“I’ll be right there, give me a second okay?” I nervously smiled.

“Okay!” Yashiro grabbed Kou’s hand causing him to turn red and she ran off with him.

You walked up a one of the stair steps, determination on your face. You looked up and your eyes widened. A small envelope fell from the top floor. You picked it up and opened it.

“Dear Y/n,

I thought I told you, you were going to be that star of the show.

Please don't disappoint.

- The Phantom of the Opera”

You puffed your cheeks out in annoyance.

“Well I don’t want to be the star!” You shouted, throwing the envelope on the ground. You ran to the front of the stage, meeting with Kou and Yashiro.

“So do you know who might perform for the opera next week?” You asked Kou.

“Uhm… no not really…!” Kou threw his hands up in defence. “But most likely Yashiro, since she is the understudy of Mitsuba. But are you interested in doing it at all Y/n?”

Interested? Why is he asking me? I’m just a ballerina, nothing special. I can be replaced easily.

“No, I’m not really into the whole performing thing..!” You nervously laughed.

“Oh, okay…” Kou kept his eyes on you.

“Yeah I can do it!” Yashiro's eyes lit up. “And the boys will notice me and I will be popular and hopefully manager Teru will notice me as well-”

“My brother?” Kou turned to her in shock.

“ECK-! I FORGOT HE WAS YOUR BROTHER-” Yashiro was flustered. “IT’S NOTHING KOU! DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT!! PLEASE DONT TELL HIM!!!” She was begging on her knees giving him puppy dog eyes.

“I-I won’t…” Kou blushed and looked away.

“You're acting like he doesn’t already know you are obsessed with him…” I face palmed.

“Hello everyone!” The owner of the voice placed his hand on my shoulder. I turned to see manager Teru with a wide smile on his face.

“Teru-nii!” Kou smiled.

“M-manager Minamoto-!!” Yashiro blushed madly.

“Oh Yashiro, I need to tell you something important! I’m sorry if I startled you!” He apologized.

“I-It’s fine!” Yashiro nodded her head rapidly.

“Well, Yashiro, you’re going to be the replacement for Mitsuba on stage.”

“Okay! I won’t let you down Manager Minamoto!”

“I hope you won’t…” Teru turned to you, hand still on your shoulder, he was a little too close.

“I will be seeing more of you soon…” He whispered in your ear before letting you go and walking off the stage.

‘Seeing more of me…? What does that mean…’ You thought as you watched him enter his office. Kou noticed your weird expression and pulled you out of your thoughts.

“H-hey Y/n..! So Yashiro seems pretty happy about this, has she always been like this?” Kou pointed to Yashiro who was rambling to herself about falling in love with some prince on set.

“Yeah, well for as long as I could remember… I knew Nene for a while now and she has always been like this.” You sighed.

“I think it’s kind of cute-” Kou stopped himself from finishing his sentence but you heard enough. You were going to tease him for it but was interrupted by the ballet teacher.

“That’s all for today ballerinas, you can go home now..” She spoke with such grace. The ballet teacher was the only person who actually acknowledged the ballerinas. She knew we were working hard even if we were just background dancers. She has even been seen as a mother figure to some of the ballerinas here… she was flawless.

“Y/n, can I talk to you for a minute?” She turned to you.

“Oh yeah sure…” You walked over to her waving bye to Kou. “What do you need Miss Sakura?”

“Did you fix the skirt that Akane requested you too repair?” She asked, concern in her green eyes.

“I did!” You smiled.

“That’s good. Are you going to stay late tonight as well?”

“Maybe…”

“Okay, I just wanted to know.” She lightly smiled “Stay in good health Y/n.”

“Okay… y-you too..!” You responded and she walked away.

That was… weird…

----

You hummed to yourself as you sketched the moon on a sheet of paper. It was dark so you could barely even see your drawing so you didn’t even know if it was good.

“I’ll find out tomorrow…” You sighed and stood up. You looked at the clock and it was 9, time for you to head home. You grabbed your bag and started to walk to the door then you remembered the experience from the night before. When you found the letter from the Phantom of the Opera.

Did you believe in the Phantom? No, that stupid. But… it wasn’t impossible. You have heard Sakura talk to the ballerinas about the phantom before. Does she believe in the phantom?

“Y/n~” A childish voice was heard. You looked around to see no one, but of course it was dark so you questioned if someone was actually there.

“Yes..?” You squinted your eyes but still saw no one. Suddenly the curtains of the stage opened and a little light entered the room. You saw a silhouette of a short boy. He wasn’t anyone you recognized.

“W-who are you..?” You asked.

“I’m a phantom of the opera!” He had a childish voice, he sounded around your age.

“The phantom of the opera…” You repeated, wide eyed.

“Yes! You can call me Tsukasa!”

Was he the one who has been sending you those two letters? Was he insane? You knew you needed to get out of there.

You took this opportunity to run. You approached the doors of the opera house but stopped when you felt a hand on your mouth.

“Shh my dear, we can’t have you running away now~ not when someone has taken quite an interest in you…” He whispered in your ear. Tears formed in the corner of your eyes as he placed two fingers on your forehead.

“Now go to sleep for me~”

[barbara-gordons-glasses]

Alright, since I can’t sleep and I’m bored, I’m going to list a few things that I hate about Tony Stark/RDJ, and his “fans”. If youre a Tony/RDJ fan pls ignore this.

Tony Stark made weapons for the military and only stopped because he was nearly killed and no

It wasn’t because he “felt bad” for those that were actually being harmed by the weapons. It was for his personal benefit

He constantly flirts with and messes with women while dating pepper

In the first IM movie, he made a transphobic joke and in an interview for his Sherlock movie, made a joke about cross-dressing

In AOU he made a rape joke, saying that if he ends up ruling Asgard, he’d reinstall pre minocta (or however you spell it)

He made Ultron, and before you start with the whole “B-b-but Wanda mind raped him!”

Firstly, wtf is mind rape? Really? For anyone who says mind rape y’all need therapy—maybe more so than Wanda

Anyways, he made Ultron and in civil war, had the A U D A C I T Y to say “we need to be put in place” as if it was the avenger’s fault that he created Ultron.

And him being the Rich white dude he was, he knew the accords wouldn’t effect him. He could still break the law without any consequences.

So he a brought a 15 year old child into battle with professionals, lied about his age, and didn’t even tell him the full reason of why he was fighting

Also? He thinks? Him and Steve? Were friends? Last I checked, they couldn’t stand each other, and had a hard time working together

So when he says “I wAs YoUr FrIeNd ToO” uh no. He’s known Bucky for 100 actual years. You guys have known each other for like 2, with 6 month breaks from working together

Homecoming, he completely neglects Peter and passes him off to happy, who ignores him as well

And then takes away the suit because Peter was trying to do his job.

You could give the excuse—“he sent government agents after the vulture!”

Yes. And toomes overpowered them by a lot so that didn’t do anything

Tony says he doesn’t want to end up like his father, but it just as emotionally distant as him

I cant even begin with that one scene in IW when he HAD THE CHANCE TO CALL STEVE AND ASK FOR HELP TO DEFEAT THANOS, BUT DIDNT. OUT OF PURE STUPIDITY AND HIS MASSIVE EGO

AND THEN WHEN HE AND HIS TEAM LOSES, HE’S??? SURPRISED???

LIKE, YEAH DUDE BECAUSE YOU HAVE PETER QUILL ON YOUR TEAM OBSESSING OVER HIS DEAD GIRLFRIEND smh

The endgame scene where he basically yells at Steve for “not being there” knowing full well that if Steve were to come out of hiding, he would’ve been arrested

Has a child five years later and then suddenly on tumblr, he’s “dad of the year” even tho he got like two scene with his kid...I mean...Stan Scott Lang

Him figuring out time travel makes no sense??

How’d he get pym particles of Hank kept his work secretive??

I’m telling you if Shuri hadn’t been dusted away, they wouldn’t have needed tony I stg

Fast forward and now he’s dead, and lemme tell you—it took EVERYTHING not to laugh at their faces.

Scott, Hank, Janet, Hope, Wanda, and Bucky, to be specific.

I mean

HE ALMOST KILLED BUCKY, KILLED WANDA’S ENTRE FAMILY, AND SCOTT JUST HATES HIM

They didn’t even wanna be there lmao

Ok, now that that’s done with, let’s move onto RDJ

I really never liked him as an actor because he has limited range when it comes to characters

By which I mean all of his characters are cocky, smart, “handsome”, and “funny”

They aren’t, but k

But now that he defended Crisp ratt for being a T*umpet supporter and a homophobe, I hate him even more now

And it’s not even because he’s standing up for ratt

It’s because he never showed this type of compassion when his female and cast mates of color were being attacked for their roles

Brie Larson got rape and death threats for being captain marvel, and only wanting more diversity/better pay for herself

Zendaya got hate because she was the first black MJ

Ratt got hate because he attended a homophobic church that supported conversion therapy

Guess which one RDJ defended?

Yup

And not only that but he’s just a really unfunny person. He’s basically Tony Stark and not in a good way

Though there isn’t a good way to be Tony Stark in the first place

NOW onto my favorite part

RDJ/Tony stocks fan club

Or “defense squad” as they call themselves, as if tonky doesn’t have enough defense already, with his suits and all

His fans ignore every flaw about his character and the actor himself

They constantly say how he’s a father figure to Peter, Shuri, nebula, Harley, when really...no

Peter has a father figure—Ben Parker

Shuri already had a father

Nebula didn’t have a good father, but in no means did they interact more than the beginning of endgame

He literally called Harley a p*say for MOURNING OVER HIS ABSENT FATHER

like haha ok Stark you can’t talk

Just because you have your own sob story doesn’t mean you can project that onto others to silence THEIR trauma

And that’s another thing—

His fans claim to say that he “portrays ptsd” more than any other avenger accurately

A C C U R A T E L Y???

Wanda and Pietro?

Steve?

Natasha?

Bucky?

Peter Parker?

Gamora?

Nebula?

Harley?

Literally anyone else but him???

What angers me the most, however, is that people will go as far as to say that Wanda is a nazi b*tch, but...

Not her brother

And I’m being dead serious—no post about “anti-maximoff” ever mentions pietro

Only wanda, as if she were an only child

Well now she is but that wasn’t the point

Their internal mysoginy hurts me both physically and mentally

I’m sorry I made it so long, but if you’d like proof of any of the points I’ve made, I’ll be happy to provide them (;

[originalcontent]

Aww heck, I never posted about Marble Nest! Let’s talk about Marble Nest. We played it, we got all four endings, there were a couple things I maybe wanted to try but we didn’t but that’s okay, it would be pretty easy to replay. A couple thoughts.

As a player character, Daniil makes for a very very different playstyle than Artemy. It’s wild how all the actual mechanics of the game can be the same and yet such slight tweaks can change the feeling of the game so much. Like how everyone talking to you but how almost no one trading with you makes the whole town seem completely different.

Daniil sees the town as a chessboard and Artemy sees it as a body. This Daniil seems to know a lot fewer people than Artemy knew.

The pacing is also very interesting. The whole “time to make your nightly rounds” thing, is that something Daniil does? Is that part of his gameplay loop?

Coming out of having just finished Pathologic 2, wherein everyone’s constantly bitching at and/or trying to kill Artemy every four seconds, playing as Daniil felt like a fucking power trip. People are like “hey can you do this please” and I’m like “...wait can I do this? I can just do this??” 

I think overall I prefer playing as Artemy, although maybe I was just more accustomed to it.

Daniil is a BITCH.

No seriously, when playing Pathologic, I felt kind of bad about continually dragging Daniil because deep down there was always this little part of me that was like “you know he’s just trying his best, same as you, he doesn’t deserve all this shit you’re throwing at him” but now that I’ve gotten to walk a mile in his shoes I can definitively say that he absolutely deserved all of the shit I was throwing at him, and also I think Artemy deserved to punch him once. (After that they can go back to being friends/lovers/colleagues, however you interpret them, but he should get to punch him once.)

Okay enough about Artemy, he’s didn’t even appear in this game.

Wait one last thing, in the list of townsfolk it showed Artemy as having a name rather than being called “Haruspex”, but in the main game Daniil was listed as “Bachelor”? 

God, that list. Seeing so many dead kids. :( Daniil you did not protect my children. Oh, Mark Immortell was there and was in danger, in the Bachelor route am I allowed to let him die from the plague, is that a thing I can do, please? My besties Lara, Bad Grief, and Victor were also dead, but Stakh was alive! I tried to visit him but I couldn’t, the game doesn’t let you cross the river even if you go alllllll the way around it. I tried to find Aglaya too but couldn’t.

Seeing the town map was so heartbreaking. Quarantining the stone yard and letting everyone else die is a pretty pragmatic decision bUT ALSO!!!!!! My KIDS.

The loop was neat, how everyone kept saying you were dead and how you didn’t know why until the end, and I loved how the town kind of was your body. (Do the fires mean you’re feverish? Does the cold mean you’re dying?) This game has always been excellent about how it nests themes within themes and symbols within symbols, and Marble Nest was no exception.

Kind of hilarious tho how the ultimate theme is “if you don’t want your favorite character to die, just stop reading the book, or maybe start over and reread the parts where they’re still alive forever.” Turns out you really can beat death Daniil, good job. :)

(“But wait! I may be a fictional character, but the disease which kills me is also fictional! AU in which it’s not real fuck you” Honestly what did I expect coming from the same people who had a plot-critical messenger murdered offscreen by the understudy of the protagonist.)

This character’s themes seem to be very lofty. Again, I think I vibed more with the more grounded side of things, but I love metafuckery so you know.

That time I was in that house and I was like “I might need to check out some rooms” and the other guy was like “here, I have the master key” and hands me a lockpick, I actually laughed. Incredible.

The PANTOMIME. God that was such a vibe. Compared to everything else in Pathologic, it was so animated! I do love the “you’re heartless, come back to me when you have a heart” and then in the next loop I hand them a human heart and they’re like “.....dude, have you ever heard of a fucking metaphor, holy shit why are you giving me this.”

The CLOAK. The MASK. The S A N D A L S. Hhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Wearing the ensemble and literally being immune to the plague zone, I was like “wow this is fucking op how is this even allowed” although I guess Marble Nest was also written so that you can last the whole game on literally one piece of toast.

It was so weird to go around places where I know twyre grows and not hear any bugs. I did take a nice incredibly long walk through the steppe just to see how far the game would let me go though, because it was nice and pretty and who the fuck has time for that while in Pathologic? 

I didn’t really talk much before with Georgiy Kain, but fuuuuuuck what is wrong with that guy? If Daniil’s been hanging out with him, I can fucking understand why he became obsessed with the polyhedron at the end.

And Aspity, oh god I have so many questions, what are you, I don’t think we ever cleared that up.

And Shrew! What’s her deal?? There were actually a lot of very memorable NPC’s who didn’t even have their own custom designs.

I don’t know much about Pathologic 1 but I think Eva killed herself in the Bachelor route? Does that mean she’s going to die in this Bachelor route if it ever comes out? I mean presumably Marble Nest already deviates from that game quite a bit since I don’t think Artemy dies in it (and I don’t think Daniil does either.)

Gee Daniil! How come your mom lets you have two funerals?

A little sad Changeling never came by to say hi, I would have liked to see her. Although I guess she’s busy trying to save my ass irl. I know I remembered seeing the steam page for Marble Nest earlier and being like “huh that’s sort of a strange poster for the game, isn’t Artemy supposed to be dead?” And then I played it and I just took a moment and turned to my sister and was like “hey look at this” and she was like “...yup that’s literally the game.”

Overall it was a fun time. Very short comparatively, very clever. 

[bookish-mind]

I read call down the hawk, here’s my aching heart:

*spoilers*

(I wasn’t planning on making a long post about this book but I couldn’t help myself, I had too much to say and I needed a place to scream about pynch)

“This is going to be a story about the Lynch brothers” I knew that already so why am I crying, already, the first line and I’m crying

It mentioned Ronan living somewhere other than the barns after Niall died and I’m just here like,, you can say Monmouth it’s ok

“Adam Parrish was the destination of this road trip” and “Ronan missed him like a lung” my heart my heart my heart

“the guy he loved” PLEASE

Ronan Lynch upon seeing Adam Parrish for the first time: *literally prays*

I see the obsession with Adam’s hands goes way back

“Funny how quickly a handful of weeks could render something unrecognizable” I know ronan was talking about the weather/the campus but my stomach dropped pls this better not be pynch foreshadowing

Their reunion was so chaotic I’d expect nothing else tbh

The watch keeps track of Ronan’s time zone I can’t-

“He was with Adam, and Adam still loved him” PLS THE USE OF THE L WORD KILLS ME EVERY TIME

“there was burnished Gansey, who might not have saved Ronan’s life in high school, but at the very least kept it mostly out of Ronan’s reach so that he could not take it down and break it” this line bothers me bc gansey literally did save Ronan’s life that was the whole godamn point 🙃

Objectively I understand that the crying club are probly decent ppl but subjectively they ain’t no gangsey that’s for sure

“he longed for him even while holding him” pls the yearning,, it’s too much for my frail heart

Bryde needs to gtfo of Ronan’s head is what need to happen

Who is lindenmere I only know Cabeswater

Ronan is crying I’m crying we’re all crying

It breaks my heart that Ronan is still yearning for something more while the rest of the gangsey are out there living

Gansey is chained to a tree in Oregon, seems legit

Chainsaw knows how to say “Atom” I’m fucking crying

“What, Declan? I’m trying to fucking tow a cow” I love this book

Matthew be like “I’ve been staring at the edge of the water long as I can remember never really knowing why”

I literally had a headcanon that Ronan says I love u to Adam in Latin

“He sucked in more longing with every inhale, he exhaled some of his happiness on the other side” this godamn book I swear 😩

“dreamt of you” AGSHSJAK

Oof I kinda love Parsifal all he wants to do is eat some bienenstich made by his momma

Wait wait wait these Niall and aurora doppelgängers are confusing me

“I saved your life because I love you” HE SAID IT OUT LOUD ! HE SAID IT ! IT HAS BEEN SAID

I know it’s common knowledge at this point that they are in an established loving relationship but it hits me the same every time I’m reminded

“It was possible no two students at aglionby had ever come away with such a thorough understanding of Latin (or, possibly, of each other)” I have no words

Declan Lynch falling in love with a dream? More likely than you’d think

Man I hope at the end of all this Declan gets to punch a judge and go somewhere to live and breathe art for the rest of his life

This whole dreamers are born to die young theme is stressing me out

“Ronan, I know you” literally everything they say to each other knocks the air out of my lungs

“They hugged again, merrily, waltzing messily in the kitchen, and kissed, merrily, waltzing more” brb if you need me I’ll be reading this line over and over again for the rest of eternity

Two things: 1) gansey left his mint plant for Ronan to take care of 2) ronan dreamed a literal sun to keep the plant alive when he could have just as easily put it by a window like a normal person that’s the cutest bro shit I’ve ever seen

“Adam stopped breathing” please stiefvater imagine how tired we are

Also where tf is opal I miss the lil weirdo

“he missed him acutely even as he was looking at him” it’s too much,, it’s all too much

Oh hell ya Ronan and Jordan/Hennessy/all the other girls finally met I been waiting for this one

Waaait is the dark lady seashore niall’s dream space like Cabeswater/lindenmere is Ronan’s ??

Oh Matthew, my sweet boy, he figured out he’s a dream

Jordan. Is. Painting. Declan. I. Can’t. Breathe.

Oh damn ok so the lace is trynna get out and destroy the world ? Is that it ?

Matthew asking “Do I have a soul?” broke me

Matthew said “I’m the fake brother” and Declan uno reversed that shit so fast

Alright lindenmere I see you I see you but the thing is.. I miss my girl Cabeswater

OPAL FINALLY

“He didn’t have it in him to love another dream. It hurt too bad. Loving anything did” ouch :(

Fuck fuck fuck this is the part where chaos erupts

Damn those sundogs are cool af tho

I swear I didn’t breathe until I knew Matthew and Declan were alive holy shit

Declan thinking “The world was broken” and “I never actually lived” </3

Let Ronan and Declan hug each other challenge

Adam Parrish please pick up the goddamn phone I am begging you

The way Hennessy is so in awe that Ronan has complete trust of lindenmere/his subconscious made me ache bc it took a helluva lot for him to get to this point

“Hennessy?” “Lynch.” “I’ve been alone a long time” excuse me I’m gonna need a minute-

The way Ronan describes what the lace is to him,, I’m fucking sobbing

Hennessy and Ronan’s swords are badass

I still don’t trust bryde but he got them out of there so points to him I guess :/

Where’s book 2 I need book 2

[ff-imagines]

tofu mother! i’m so happy you’re back! i can’t wait to see you talk/write about dumb tofu men some more! uhh, it seems requests are open! if you wouldn’t mind, uhhhh, sweet tofu nsfw alphabet, please? thank you!

Sweet tofu: nsfw alphabet

Holy shit, I haven’t done sweet, have I? I am such a bad horny tofu stan please forgive me 😢

A - aftercare

Very good. He’s always pretty overbearing doting and that trait will be cranked up to an 11. He gets you whatever you need, but desperately wants to stay with you for at least a few hours afterwards. He wants to know how you feel, and he loves to see the spectrum of your emotions, he’d never tell you he secretly wants to know you enjoyed it. Your approval hits a certain twinge in his chest.

B - body part

Of his own, probably his eyes, and his fingers. He takes great care in his nails, manicures are essential for him to feel clean.

Of yours, he loves your chest. Not exactly the tiddy tho lmao. A strange thing to like but he likes how comfy it is to rest his cheek on your chest and lightly trace your collar bones. He’s really comforted in hearing your heartbeat.

He likes your thighs for the same reason, they’re a good pillow. Thighs are also soft, which means easier hickies~

C - cum

There’s…. lots of it. He recovers fast, and will sometimes overwhelm you with cum. it’s kinda fucking endless honestly. Will cum legit anywhere you ask, sometimes will be bratty and cum anywhere but where you want. Loves to cum on you, it makes him feel more possessive.

D - dirty secret

This man has no secrets when it comes to sex. He’s up front, and he’s very open about being into almost everything you can think of. One thing he’d rather not let anyone but you know is that his hips, collar bones, and wrists are really sensitive. If you massage, kiss, or lick over them he loses his composure very quickly.

His favorite spot to be kissed is the vertebrae on the back of his neck, and he’ll be a tad more intimate if you lightly scratch the back of his neck and the hair on the base of his skull.

E - experience

moderate. He’s a creepy looking dude, but it’s fairly easy for him to find entertainment for when staying home gets a bit boring. We know from salty's backstory he’d flirted with a woman who came back to talk to him frequently, along with salty mentioning how he’s always been fairly popular.

“Hehehe, I know what I’m doing kitten. My question is, do you know what I’m going to do?”

F - favorite position

Seriously, what doesn’t he like..?

I think positions where he can see your face is his favorite, most likely loves to put you on his lap so he can watch you desperately grind on him while wrinkling your nose in the most adorable way~

G - goofy

To a degree. I feel he’s goofy in initiating but less goofy as time goes on. He still teases though and sometimes he manages to crack a smile out of you in even the most strangest and awkward positions. He'll never tell you but he loves that he can make you laugh, even when you’re in the most intimate and private state possible.

H- hair

Slightly groomed, but not extensively. Sometimes he has weeks where ofc he’ll shower but doesn’t really want to shave so you’ll have to remind him. Or don’t, if that’s your thing.

I- intimacy

Very but also not always.

He can be so fucking intense, refusing to let you look anywhere but at his face so you can see how hard it is for him to keep his control, watch him this time, let it be known how much he adores seeing your body scream and twitch for his touch.

On the other hand, he might rile you up just to leave you squirming for hours.

Depends on how nice he’s feeling~

“Fuck, no. Look at me. Look. At me. You did this, you fucking did this, look. At. Me. You’re gonna watch me while I fuck you, eyes. On. Me.”

J- jerk off

Not too often? He just prefers the real thing. 1-2 times a week. When you started to catch his interest, he stopped completely for a while, giving his full attention to you, even before confessing his interest in you. It’s more out of him trying to gauge who you are and if he’s actually interested or just entertained by you. When he figured out it was actual interest though? Prolly jumped up to 3-4 times a week due to feeling a growing desperation because of his feelings.

K- Kinks

...All of them.

Most of his favorites are the darker side of BDSM, light blood play (mostly prefers he’s the one bleeding), intense sadomasochism (doesn’t matter who’s who), primal, heavy bondage, breath play, and especially role play. He’s just… really obsessed with putting you in strange situations in order to learn all he can about how you tick.

“So so adorable, but I wonder how you look when you’re in pain~”

L- location

Again, either the place he knows your most comfortable, or the place he knows you’re the least comfortable. He wants to see you squirm as the brick of the alleyway he’s pinned you against rubs into your skin brutally just as much as he loves to see your hands grasp the soft blankets of your warm bed.

M- motivation

When you do something really innocent. The happier you look the more he wants to absolutely corrupt and ruin you.

“Look at you, you’re so precious all wrapped up in these blankets, would you mind if interupted, just for a little bit?”

N- no

I feel he also doesn’t actually like daddy kinks. He’s… got some issues with the man he viewed as his father so if you want to call him something, just don’t make it daddy.

O- oral

God does he love biting your inner thighs and watching you twitch.

He appreciates oral, but being able to make your skin crawl is much more pleasing to him. Might give you oral right after fucking you just to watch you squirm in overstimulation.

“Hehe, I see the bruise from last time is faded… I wonder if I can make a new one that will last just a bit longer~”

P- pace

Depends if he’s playing a bratty role or a more intense one. No matter his pace, he’s gonna stop in the middle and just watch you cry in frustration at his teasing. This man is patient so good luck lmao

Q- quickies

Not… exactly? He loves to tease, so he’d most likely get you incredibly worked up and then leave. Would definitely grope you at a dinner table then right as your getting close leave the room entirely lmao

As for actually quick fucking you, if you beg nicely, he’d most likely give you whatever you wanted no matter what lmao.

R- risk

Wouldn’t full out fuck you in public but.. again…. if he gets to see the embarrassment on your face while he finger fucks you under the table? Now that’s the good shit.

“Stay still, you’re squirming. You’re gonna give us away if you keep moving, you wouldn’t want that would you?”

S- stamina

Ridiculous. Mainly because he pulls some strings and uses his powers as a healer to recover his own energy. What a bastard.

T- toys

He owns a few. Most are restrictive, like handcuffs, rope, etc. might get a vibrator just to tie you down and make you cry and beg him to turn it off after overstimulating you for what feels like hours.

U- unfair

Y E A. Prolly the worst teaser you’ll ever encounter in your entire fucking life. He wants to see you cry from frustration and then hear your screams when he fucks you so hard it makes you cry all over again.

Then he stops, giggles, and goes back to teasing again.

“Kitty, come on, you can take just one more, cant you? For me?”

V- volume

Talks a lot. And it’s not that he’s “loud”, he just moans a lot. His voice is naturally pretty quiet though. Lots and lots of low groaning. During and after cumming he’s quieter, giving out a low hum while breathing slowly trying to regain his composure.

W- wild card

There is no mention that his hair is dyed, so I’m making the head canon that his natural hair is two tone and that his fuckin body hair is duel colored.

X- X Ray

Like I said, I will go down with the hc his body hair is duel colored like his hair. Mans got white and brown pubes I don’t make the rules.

As for size he’s actually on the smaller/average size, solid 5 inches.

Y- yearning

When you’re down, he is. If he hasn’t seen you in a long time he’s gonna be more grabby. He actually isn’t easy to make that jealous because he’s very confident in your loyalty, you’re willing to stick with him this long so… why worry?

Z- zzz

Lmaoooo? sleep?? Who’s that? Don’t know her. Thinks you’re adorable when you fall asleep though. Likes to study your face while sleeping and will gently coo and let your hair if he notices your face starts twitching because of something like a nightmare. Might peel back the blankets a bit to further… “observe”. And he wonders why you keep waking up freezing.

“Awe, out so quick kitty? Hm, you are cute like this. Wonder if you’ll look cuter when you’re having a nightmare…”

[kutemouse]

Caught (Prologue)

Disclaimers: All “Save Me” webtoon and BTS MV/highlight reel/film references and plots belong to BTS and BigHit. Not sure who edited it or made it, but the “I’m Fine/Save Me” ambigram pic I used came from here. All pictures of Kim Taehyung belong to BTS and BigHit, I just edited them for my header. The picture of BTS came from Vogue Japan, I just edited it for my header. I got the Kim Taehyung Wings Film Gif from DannyBriz on Wattpad.

A Note from Kutemouse: Awwww, thank you for reading my stuff, @chocolatewolfuniversitytrash!

So, this sweet little mini series is inspired by several things… The movie 365 DNI, the Save Me webtoon, the BTS MV universe, and ideas I’ve come up with waaaaaay too late at night 😂 Honestly, I’m OBSESSED with the whole MV/highlight reel/wings films arc that started with The Most Beautiful Moment in Life Pt. 1, and I’ve ALWAYS wanted to write a story inspired by it. So, kutie pie @chocolatewolfuniversitytrash, thank you for allowing this dream to come to light.

About the non-con request, I was all like, “EEEERRRRRRMMMMMMMM idk,” because I’ve never written non-con and therefore don’t… know… if I’m comfortable with it…? I will attempt to do my best. Either way, I hope you like what has come out of my brain 😅

Also, thank you to @btssmutheaven for revealing my drafts (NOT REALLY, ILY) to @taemaknae for reading my shit and loving it, and to @kpopyandere for being the best unnie account and helping me realize I can write all the yandere ideas I want.

Age Recommendation: 21+ (this is NOT one for youngsters, kuties, and is MOST DEFINITELY NSFW)

Genre: Mafia!AU w/ BTS, Jailbird!AU w/ Taehyung, Yandere!BTS

Warnings: ALL THE WARNINGS. Just kidding, uh… Swears. There are minors in this section but they do NOT do anything sexual. I ain’t about that kinda life, y’all. F*ckboy Taehyung. Fluffy friendship. Angsty jealousy. Mentions of drug use and alcohol consumption (NOT by minors tho). Yandere themes including unhealthy obsession and possessiveness. Making out. No smut in this part, but it’s heavy af.

🚨TRIGGER WARNING. DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH THE FOLLOWING.🚨

Mentions of abusive relationships, mentions of a parent abusing their child, mentions of sexual abuse, mentions of schoolyard bullying, mentions of a violent murder.

These are not fleshed out or detailed scenarios. When I say “mention,” I mean briefly discussed after it happened, not during, and definitely not in any detail whatsoever. You DO NOT have to read my work. You decide what you are comfortable with. All I want is for you kuties to be happy.

Word Count: 6.1k (WTF is this even allowed?!)

Summary: Kim Taehyung was the absolute love of your life… until he became a murderer. With him serving a life sentence in prison, you were finally free to live out the rest of your life however you wanted. Just when you thought you were at the top of your game, ready to take on the world, Taehyung reappears like a monster not even your worst nightmares could dream up. He gives you a year to fall in love with him, but now the question is, can monsters even be loved?

Master List

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Caught (Taehyung Series, Yandere, Smut, Angst) Prologue

I remember the first time I saw Kim Taehyung. We were both fifteen, just starting out in high school. Back then, I remember the way he lazily leaned against a locker with his arms crossed, seemingly waiting for someone. His hair was bleached a ridiculous bright blonde on the top and left brunette everywhere else. He had on dramatic, black eyeliner that served to accentuate his inky eyes, and he wore a studded leather jacket with his shirt and tie rather than the traditional uniform. Intrigued, I opened my locker and picked out my books for my next class, watching him out of the corner of my eye.

I saw him zero in on his target and take brisk, wide strides towards her as she twirled the combo to her locker. She looked up at him with wide, innocent eyes as he caged her in by leaning down to whisper something in her ear. Suddenly, the hallway was filled with flirtatious giggles and I turned away, rolling my eyes. So he was one of those assholes.

I watched him do this with every single girl in our class. I swear, he had his routine down to a science. Chat her up, openly flirt, flirt some more until she caved in to whatever he desired, then drop her like a hot frying pan. It took a couple months for his interest to finally land on me.

“Hey.”

I didn’t bother to look up as I twirled the combination to my locker and popped it open.

“Hey,” he said louder.

I flicked a glance his way. “Do you need something?”

His eyes narrowed. “Do I look like I need anything?”

I huffed out a sigh. “What do you want, Kim Taehyung?”

He let out a snort, leaning against the locker next to mine the same way he’d done a thousand times with a thousand other girls. “So you know my name, but I don’t know yours. You’re new, right?”

“I transferred in at the beginning of the year,” I said impatiently. “And we’re in the same class, so you should know who I am.”

Taehyung’s lips curled up into a playful smirk. “Really? No, that can’t be right. I definitely would’ve remembered you.”

I rolled my eyes and slammed my locker shut, walking quickly away. Taehyung jogged to keep up. “Just tell me your name,” he insisted.

“Why?”

“C’mon, I’m just trying to make friends.”

I whirled around, stopping both of us in our tracks. “Friends? Is that what you’ve been doing with every other girl here? Just making friends?”

Taehyung smirked once more and took a step towards me. I don’t know why, but I took a step back. I should’ve held my ground, should’ve told him to fuck off right then and there. Instead, I let him back me up against the wall and entrap me within his darkened gaze, the same way he would for the next three years of our lives.

He leaned down to whisper in my ear, his breath tickling the skin of my cheek. “We can be more than friends… but first, you have to tell me your name.”

I shoved him off me and practically sprinted down the hall, cheeks aflame with embarrassment. My peers and classmates who saw the exchange teased me for weeks afterward, no matter how much I kept my head down and avoided Taehyung like my life depended on it. It wasn’t until I heard him telling off some of the more tenacious gossipers I decided to give him another chance.

I tapped him on his shoulder as he stood in front of his locker. His eyes widened when he turned to see me standing there. “I’m L/n Y/n,” I said meekly. “And I wanted to thank you for what you said to those people.”

“You heard that?” he asked, the skin of his neck flushing pink.

I nodded.

“You’re welcome,” he said, tossing me a boxy grin.

That day, a seed was planted that eventually grew into a steady, beautiful friendship. A year later, I had come out of my shell quite a bit thanks to Taehyung, and I had a solid group of mates that I adored and relied on. Tae was my best friend, and I was his. Of course, we still got teased quite a bit about being a couple, but I figured we were both long past that.

Taehyung matured alongside our friendship. He stopped wearing thick eyeliner and sporting ridiculous hair colors, instead opting for a softer, more natural look with caramel brown locks and the unblemished glow of his slightly-tan skin. Gone were his dramatic, attention-seeking ways. His voice also deepened, dropping almost an entire octave. Yet despite all of his changes, he still stayed an absolute fuck-boy, shagging a new girl every other week. I came to realize it was all part of his personality, though, and I loved him no matter what.

The summer before our senior year was when I realized that love ran way deeper than friendship. We were at my best girlfriend Chaeyoung’s house when Taehyung stumbled in with yet another girl, his hair freshly dyed a bright cerulean blue. “Hey everyone!” he called out, slinging his arm around the girl’s shoulders. My smile faded as I looked over and noticed she was beyond gorgeous, with waist-length black locks that seemed to flow down the perfect curve of her back. I shuddered as a green monster reared its ugly head deep within me.

Taehyung was with that girl for a few months, which by his standards, was practically a lifetime. The entire time they were together, I felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff about to swan-dive into devastating heartbreak. Each time I saw him kiss her, each time I saw him smile at her, each time I saw him lean over and whisper something in her ear, a piece of my soul shriveled up and died. I did my best to put my feelings aside, knowing I already had my chance and he would probably never look at me that way again. Even after they broke up, I kept my love for him tamped down and tucked away deep in the recesses of my heart, scared of ruining our friendship.

His break-up only served to draw us closer together, and slowly, without me realizing it, our friendship began to bloom into something more. Taehyung and I started to tell each other everything, including the messed-up secrets our home lives made us keep. One day, we were sitting in an empty classroom after school. I was trying to study, but kept getting distracted by Tae staring longingly out the window. “What’re you looking at?” I finally asked, putting my pencil down.

“Nothing,” he said simply. “Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“About when we’ll finally get out of here.”

I smiled, my heart thumping a little faster. “We?”

He turned and tossed me his signature boxy grin. “Yeah. We. We’ll make it out of here someday, Y/n. I’ll get away from my bastard of a dad, you’ll get away from your selfish mother, and we’ll have a house in the country with big, open fields and plenty of space to finally fucking breathe.”

I smiled and stored those words away, using them to comfort myself whenever my mother and her asshole of a boyfriend wouldn’t stop yelling at each other, or worse, when they’d pass out on the couch, too drunk or high to stay coherent.

One night around three in the morning, my phone began to buzz and didn’t stop until I finally popped an eye open, fumbled around for it in the dark, and pressed it to my ear. “Hello?” I mumbled.

“H-Hey.”

I sat up. “Taehyung?”

“Y/n, I n-need your help,” he said shakily. It sounded like he was… crying?

I immediately got out of bed and pulled some jeans on. “Tae, it’s okay,” I said soothingly, trying to hide the panic I was feeling. I knew Taehyung’s home life was extremely hard. In fact, most of our home lives were terrible. The only two in our friend group who even came close to “privileged” were Chaeyoung and Jin, and that was because their parents had more money, not less problems.

I myself had plenty of issues. The reason my mother and I moved here when I was fifteen was to escape her abusive boyfriend, and even then, we still lived in constant fear of him finding us again. I guess that fear drove her into the arms of the first strong-looking man who looked twice at her, because her new boyfriend, Manseok, seemed to fit the same abusive pattern. At least he didn’t hit her when he was sober.

I wasn’t exactly sure how terrible Taehyung’s life was until the night he called me. At his request, I stole a few bills from my mom’s purse as well as her ID and put us up in a cheap motel room for the night. Jumping up when I finally heard his knock, I quickly pulled the door open to reveal Taehyung, his blue hair stringy from the rain outside. He was panting like he ran all the way there. I covered my mouth with my hands as the dim lighting revealed his left eye swollen shut, covered in nasty shades of scarlet and purple. His lip was split and bleeding, and his right cheek had another bruise and cut creeping down to his jawbone. The worst part, though, were the red finger-shaped marks that covered his neck.

“Y/n,” he croaked out. I held open my arms and he fell into them, not leaving their safety until well into the morning. I iced his black eye and bruises as much as I could, and bandaged the cuts that covered his face. Taehyung’s face was pressed into my chest, his breathing deep and even as he finally slept.

I decided then and there I’d never let him go.

Thankfully, Taehyung felt the same way. Within a week, he brushed off every other girl he was chatting up and focused all of his attention on me. We spent hours with each other after school, either in person or on the phone, and it became a common occurrence for him to intertwine his fingers with mine or peck me sweetly on the cheek.

I quickly grew dissatisfied, sick of the friendship barrier preventing us from taking things further. We spent an entire day together one weekend, talking, laughing, walking the streets, and trying different foods from vendor carts. As the sun started to go down, Taehyung wrapped his arms around me from behind, pressing his chest into my back. He was teasing me, I forget about what, and he leaned down to kiss my cheek when I turned at the last second and let him peck my lips instead. I laughed as his dark eyes grew wide with shock.

That was all it took, though. One kiss, and he was mine. Or rather, I was his. Afterwards, he pulled me into a deserted alleyway and we kissed until the sun completely disappeared. As the stars appeared in the sky above, Taehyung asked me to be his girlfriend, murmuring in my ear about how much he loved me and how he had never stopped loving me, even after I turned him down. With my heart practically bursting, I readily agreed.

Back then, Taehyung had a knack for getting in trouble, and me being his new girlfriend did nothing to hinder that side of him. He was definitely the “bad boy” of our school, constantly rebelling against the system by swapping his uniform for street clothes and ditching classes. His favorite form of rebellion, however, was street graffiti. He loved spray-painting words and drawings all over the walls of our neighborhood alongside his best friend, Namjoon. Tae was nearly caught by the cops a couple of times, but thanks to his quick instincts, he managed to give them the slip.

Still, a boy with bright, blue hair was bound to stand out, so after a couple nights of close calls, Taehyung finally dyed his hair back to that soft, caramel brown that I loved running my fingers through. We sat together at a bus stop, watching cars and people go by with fingers intertwined, when Tae stood and pulled a paint can out of his jacket pocket.

“Again?” I asked. Despite my teasing tone, I smiled up at him.

Taehyung tucked his bottom lip between his teeth with a grin as he sprayed something onto the panel beside us. “Look,” he said once he was finished, tilting his head to admire his work.

I stood up to see the words “I’m fine” sprayed in green. The font was the most interesting part, though, too curly in comparison to Taehyung’s usual writing. “Now look at it from upside-down,” Tae said.

I threw him a skeptical look before obediently curving my neck and scoping out the piece of art as best I could. “Save me,” I read out loud.

Taehyung nodded. “It’s for us,” he murmured.

I looked up at him, emotions surging through me like a waterfall surging down a cliff. “It’s beautiful,” I said, my voice cracking.

Taehyung looked at me, concern filling his features. “Baby girl, what’s wrong?”

“I-I have s-something to tell you,” I stammered.

With many tears and a shaky voice, I began to explain to Taehyung the events that had transpired only a few nights before. How my mom’s boyfriend had quietly snuck into my room while she remained passed out on the couch. How he had told me to be quiet as his hand started stroking my arm. How he had held his hand over my mouth and yelped when I bit him. How I had screamed so loud our neighbors called the cops. How he was carted away by the police with my mother shrieking the entire time about how I was a brat and a dramatic liar.

Taehyung’s gaze grew darker with each word. “That bastard,” he spat, clenching his fists. “I will end that motherfucker.”

“Taehyung, stop,” I sighed. “It’s over. For now, at least. I’ll stay at Chaeyoung’s until graduation.”

“What do you mean? He’s not going to jail?”

I hung my head. “My mom left to pay his bail an hour ago.”

Taehyung slammed his fist into the same panel he just graffitied. “So that jerk is going to walk free?!”

I stood up and ran my hands soothingly over his shoulders. “For now. I’m going to press charges, but in the end, it’s my word against his. Who knows how the system will treat him.”

Taehyung let out a feral growl, turning away from me. “I’m sick of this shit,” he snapped. “My dad, your mom’s boyfriend… neither of them should be walking free after everything they’ve done.”

Not knowing what else to do, I hugged him tightly from behind. “Just another few months,” I said quietly. “And then we’ll be out of here. A house in the country, just like you said.”

“That’s not good enough,” Tae snapped, turning back towards me. My mouth parted in surprise as I looked into his eyes and saw something there I’d never seen before. It was like a slow-burning flame, one that hadn’t yet risen into a raging wildfire, but threatened to if it wasn’t quickly put out.

Taehyung suddenly grabbed my hand and tugged me down the street. “I’m dropping you off at Chae’s,” he said. “And then I want you to stay there for the next twenty-four hours. I don’t want you going out for any reason, you understand me?”

“Taehyung, what are you saying? You’re scaring me.”

He stopped walking, turning so we were facing each other once more. The flame I saw earlier began blazing, turning rapidly into something uncontrollable and destructive I didn’t know how to stop. “This ends tonight,” he growled.

True to his word, he dropped me off at Chaeyoung’s, not leaving until he made me promise I wouldn’t go out until he said so. After a week, with Tae’s permission, I went home to get some clothes and personal items only to find my mom sitting on the couch, strung out of her mind. “Is he here?” I asked tentatively.

She raised her red-rimmed eyes to meet mine. “Who?”

“Manseok. Your jerk of a boyfriend.”

My mom shrugged and scoffed. “Haven’t seen that bastard for a couple days now,” she said, her words slurring together. “He upped and left us. Stole some money from me to do it, too.”

The feeling of relief that I felt was short-lived once I remembered that asshole would probably be back for more, just like the others. I quickly gathered my things and left, stopping only to make sure my mom had enough food for the next few days.

Ever since that night, Taehyung withdrew into himself. He still held my hand and kissed me, but it was distant, emotionless, like he didn’t know how to feel his feelings for me anymore. He weirdly became somewhat possessive of me, keeping me practically glued to his side whenever he was with me, and constantly texting me when we weren’t together. Whenever other boys looked my way, Taehyung shot them down with harsh words and incessant bullying our friends joined in on. I insisted they stop that kind of behavior, and for a while, I thought Tae and his friends complied. It wasn’t until much later in life when I realized they never truly stopped. They just got better at hiding it.

One night, I was at Namjoon’s place waiting for Tae when Joon’s phone rang. “Taehyung?” he said, turning away from me when I looked up. “Hey, calm down. You did what?!”

He stood up quickly. I motioned for him to put it on speaker, but he waved me off. “Okay, stop. I’m coming over right now. Just stay put, dammit.”

Joon grabbed his jacket and rushed towards the door. “Wait!” I cried. “What happened?!”

“Nothing that concerns you,” he snapped. “Stay here. I’ll bring Taehyung to you, alright?”

Neither of them came back. Before the sun even thought of rising, I determinedly ran all the way to Taehyung’s apartment, desperate to see him and make sure he was alright. As my sneakers pounded against the pavement and my breath started coming out in ragged gasps, I suddenly felt a hand grasp my forearm and yank me into a side alley.

“What are you doing here?” a voice growled as I yelped in surprise. I looked up to see Jungkook standing there, glaring at me.

“I want to see Taehyung,” I retorted, ripping my arm from his grasp.

He crossed his arms. “Not gonna happen.”

“Like hell it’s not!” I snapped. “Where is he?”

Jungkook grabbed the front of my jacket, preventing me from pushing past him. “Go home, Y/n.”

“Absolutely the fuck not!”

Sick of my shit, Jungkook picked me up, threw me over his broad shoulder, and carried me out of the alleyway. I kicked and screamed the entire way. He set me down once we were on the main street. “Taehyung will call you when he can,” he said firmly. “I won’t say it again, Y/n. Go home.”

“No!” Tears welled up, and I furiously swiped them away. “I’m his girlfriend! Tell me where he is right now or I’ll—”

“You’ll what?” Jungkook snapped. “Y/n, you don’t even know where he is. Fucking leave, or I’ll carry you all the way back to Chae’s myself.”

It didn’t take much longer for me to realize Jungkook wouldn’t relent. Eventually, I went back to Chaeyoung’s and spent the day staring at the wall beside my bed. What did Taehyung do? What were his friends protecting him from? When had things gotten so fucked up?

My questions were never answered. After a full week of silence, complete with him missing school, Taehyung showed up at Chae’s place asking for me. “She doesn’t want to see you,” Chae snapped, closing the door as I meandered into the entry hall.

Taehyung stopped her by slamming his palm against the wood. “Please, Chae,” he begged.

Recognizing his deep tenor, I walked up and put my hand on my bestie’s shoulder. “I’ve got this, Chae,” I murmured. She left with a huff.

Taehyung looked terrible. Dark circles ran under both eyes like he’d spent multiple nights without sleep, his hair was unkempt, and his skin was much too pale. Without another word, I immediately took him inside and dragged him up to my room. He took a shower in my en suite bathroom while I washed his clothes. After he dressed, we sat on my bed, still not speaking. “What happened?” I finally asked.

He tossed me a weak smile. “Life happened.”

I shook my head in disgust. “You leave me for an entire week with no explanation, and that’s all you have to say?”

“Baby girl, please,” Taehyung said, clasping my hands in between his large, rough ones. “I’m sorry I left you alone. I asked the guys to keep an eye on you, and they said you’ve been doing fine.”

“Fine is an overstatement,” I snorted, tearing my hands from his grasp.

He didn’t relent, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his broad chest. “Let go,” I ordered, trying and failing to push him away.

“No,” he said simply, tightening his hold. “I love you, Y/n. Everything that happened this past week happened for us. For our dream.”

I managed to pull back enough to look up into his eyes. The spark of mischief that normally resided there was gone, replaced by a dull sombreness that made me ache inside. Whatever had happened that week completely changed Taehyung for good. He was no longer quick to smile or joke, and I began to yearn for the blue-haired boy of the past. I couldn’t tell him that, though. Despite everything, I still loved him.

A month passed, and as our graduation approached, Taehyung talked more and more about moving out to the country. I responded enthusiastically outwardly, but on the inside, I didn’t know if moving out was such a good idea. It wasn’t just the way he had changed. It was having issues with my mom as well. Since Manseok never came back around, her behavior grew more erratic each day. I moved back in to take care of her, and she depended heavily on me. I was afraid if I left, she would fall off the deep end again and never be able to make it back to the surface.

The last day I saw Taehyung dawned bright and filled with hope. “I’m feeling good today,” he announced, slinging an arm around my shoulders as we walked to class.

I smiled up at him, glee spreading through my limbs when I saw a trace of that mischievous spark back in his eyes. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” He tossed me a grin. “I haven’t been able to go out and tag anything lately… but I kind of want to tonight. You in?”

“Of course.”

As night approached, we walked hand-in-hand down the street until Taehyung led us back to that bus stop where he painted the “I’m fine/Save me” ambigram. I sat on the bench and watched as he began to create something new. I don’t think he had a set plan. The painting started off in meaningless loops, the jet-black color standing out in stark contrast to the white behind it.

Suddenly, bright lights filled our vision flashing a blinding blue and red. “Freeze!” a loud voice yelled.

I remember Taehyung’s wide, dark eyes finding mine, filled with panic. I remember the rough skin of his palm sliding into mine and yanking me upright. I remember how we sprinted down the street, the fear of being caught pumping adrenaline through us. How he ran faster than me, tugging me along to keep up.

Taehyung looked back and pulled me into an alleyway to try and lose them. We turned a corner and met a dead end. With our backs pressed against the wall, I looked at Tae. “Dammit,” he panted, the corners of his mouth turning upwards despite our situation.

I began to run out the way we came, intending on dragging Taehyung with me, but he yanked me back, slamming me against the wall that entrapped us. He kissed me, feverishly pressing his tongue inside my mouth before I could stop him. He yanked my wrists upwards, pinning them almost painfully against the brick above us as his mouth continued exploring mine and his hands roamed up and down my body.

He pulled back, allowing me to finally suck in some oxygen, and even as I coughed, he continued pressing kisses from my cheek to my jaw to my neck. Tae finally stopped as loud voices and beams of flashlights got closer. “I love you, baby girl,” he murmured. “Don’t forget that.”

“Tae, what—?”

He stepped out from behind the corner, raising his hands in the air. I ducked down into the shadows the alley provided, scooting backwards and pressing my hands over my mouth.

“Get over here, punk,” a gruff voice commanded. I heard the grinding click of handcuffs closing over wrists as another voice began to read Tae his rights.

I scrambled to my feet, realizing too late what was happening. No, no, no, no, no. He couldn’t take the fall for both of us. Not like this. Still, even as I moved to step out into the light and reveal myself, something stopped me. I don’t remember exactly what it was. Possibly the thought of my mother, my friends, how close I was to graduation. Like I said, I don’t remember. All I remember was the panic I felt when I realized the love of my life had just been arrested.

I showed up late to class the next day, not wanting to answer questions from my friends about what had happened and why I looked like absolute shit. I realized my efforts weren’t needed when two detectives pulled me out of class and escorted me to the police station, causing my classmates to start buzzing with gossip like the annoying wasps they were.

“So… L/n Y/n,” the cop, Detective Kwak, said. I looked up at her, nervously twisting my hands in my lap. “You are dating Kim Taehyung, correct?”

I nodded slowly. She had brought me here for “routine questioning,” yet I began to suspect more when they put me in an interrogation room. “For how long?” the detective asked.

“About a year and a half,” I muttered.

“So your relationship was serious?”

“You could say that.”

“How serious?”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “What do you mean?”

“I  mean, how serious were you? Did you have plans for after graduation?”

“I guess. We were going to move in together.”

“Here in the city?”

“No,” I replied, shaking my head. “Somewhere far away.”

“Because of your troubles at home?”

It was then I got defensive. “What do you know about that?” I snapped.

Detective Kwak stared me down, an amused smile playing around the corners of her lips. “I know enough. I was promoted to detective only a month or so ago. Back in my street days, I was one of the cops called to your house.”

My mouth parted in surprise at her words.

“I remember that night pretty clearly,” she continued. “Your mom’s boyfriend attacked you, right?”

I swallowed hard and sank down in my seat, rubbing my arms with my palms in an effort to keep myself contained. “And she did nothing to defend you, correct?” the detective prodded.

“Stop,” I whispered.

“What about Taehyung? Did he do anything to defend you?”

“What the fuck is this about?” I burst out. “I thought you brought me here because… because…”

“Because of the graffiti?” she asked pointedly.

I nodded.

Detective Kwak leaned forward over the table. “Look, Y/n, I don’t give a damn about the fact you were his tagging partner in crime or whatever. This is much bigger than that.”

“What do you mean?”

She sat back and stared at me, her eyes like cold, dark tunnels. “Kim Taehyung has been charged with murder. His prints match a partial we lifted off of a crime scene.”

My mouth dropped open. “W-What?”

“That’s right,” she said. “We only identified the body yesterday. Does the name Lee Manseok mean anything to you?”

I froze as the syllables of my mother’s boyfriend’s name rolled off the detective’s tongue. She nodded at my reaction. “I thought it would. He was found in an abandoned warehouse about a week after he was killed. He’d been beaten to death.”

My blood ran cold, causing goosebumps to raise on the flesh of my arms. I shook my head fiercely. “No, that can’t be right,” I said. “The guy was a dick, anyone could’ve done that to him.”

“That’s what we thought at first. We first suspected his wife.”

“He… He has a wife?”

“And two kids,” the detective scoffed. “Your mom picked a real winner. But then we finally got Taehyung in custody thanks to your shenanigans last night and what do you know? His prints match the one we found at the crime scene.”

“You’ve got it wrong,” I said firmly. “Taehyung wouldn’t do that.”

“Wouldn’t he?” she asked, folding her arms over the table. “Sounds like he really loved you and would do anything to protect you.”

“No, there has to be a mistake. Even if Taehyung did kill him, it had to be out of self-defense or something.”

“Maybe so. But if you knock a guy out and then continue beating him until he dies, is it really self-defense?”

“It is if that guy could come back and hurt someone you love for revenge,” I retorted.

The detective’s face remained expressionless. “Unfortunately, the law says differently.”

“The law can go to hell for all I care.”

She chuckled. “Whatever you say, kid. Look, the crime scene revealed that more than one person beat the literal life out of Manseok. If Taehyung did this, he didn’t do it alone. Do you happen to know who else would have helped him commit murder?”

I stayed silent as I thought for a moment. Any of our friends could’ve helped him, with maybe the exception of Chaeyoung. I thought of Jin, Hoseok, Jungkook, Jimin, Yoongi and Joon. I thought of the way they moved around school like a unified group, making fun of anyone who wasn’t them and bullying people who got in their way, especially any other guy who dared look my way. Still, they wouldn’t have helped Tae commit flat-out murder, would they?

“Anyone at all?”

The detective’s voice brought me out of my thoughts. I shook my head. “No. No one.”

She sighed. “There’s something else. We’ve been trying to get ahold of Taehyung’s father, but he seems to be missing.”

“Missing?”

“Yes. He hasn’t shown up at his job at all in the past month and a half. His credit cards haven’t been used, either.”

“So?” I snapped. “The guy was an alcoholic, he could be holed up somewhere drinking himself to death.”

“Maybe so, but my guess is we’re going to find him in some abandoned building or maybe at the bottom of the ocean one day. Your boy, Taehyung? I’ll bet he’s the one who put him there.”

I slammed my palms on the table. “LIES!” I yelled. “He wouldn’t do that!”

“Wouldn’t he?!” Detective Kwak shouted, rising to her feet. “Tell me something right now, Y/n. Have you noticed him acting differently? Have you noticed any changes in his behavior?”

I immediately looked down at the ground. “No,” I muttered.

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“I said, NO!”

“Enough with the lies!”

“I’m not lying! You are!”

The detective opened her mouth to retort, then thought better of it and sat down instead. “The evidence doesn’t lie, Y/n,” she said.

“Look,” I said. “If you want someone to put in jail, put me in jail. Taehyung’s gone through enough in his life. Please don’t put him through this.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

Tears welled up in my eyes and I put my hands over my face and began to sob. Detective Kwak stood up and came around to my side of the table before placing a hand on my shoulder. Once my sobs began to cease, she offered me a tissue. I wiped my eyes and blew my nose. “Thanks,” I muttered.

“Listen,” she said gently. “I’ve made arrangements for your aunt to come pick you up.”

I looked up at the detective in surprise. “My aunt?”

“Yes. Your mom’s sister. She’s filed to gain custody of you, and in light of recent events, a judge granted it to her.”

“Wait, my mom’s sister? I thought she lived in America.”

Detective Kwak’s mouth visibly tightened. “No, actually, she lives in Busan. Seems your mom kept that from you as well. Your aunt’s been trying to get in contact with you, Y/n. She says she sent letters.”

I stared at the wall across from me. Every limb, every nerve ending, every cell in my body was starting to go numb. It was all too much. My boyfriend was a murderer, my mom’s ex-boyfriend was dead, Taehyung’s dad was missing, and now all of a sudden I had a long-lost aunt who was now my sole guardian?”

“She’s very well off,” the detective continued. “She’s even offered to pay for your mom to get treatment in a rehabilitation facility. Whatever future you have with her is sure to be a bright one.”

“If you say so.”

“I know so. I’ve met her, only briefly, but she seems very nice.”

I let the silence grow between us, not bothering to give a response. The detective finally sighed and sat back down in her chair across from me. “Y/n, Taehyung is going to jail for a very long time. Maybe even for the rest of his life. I suggest you move on with your life. Move to Busan. You’ll attend a great school there, and probably university as well. You can start down an entirely new path.”

The memory of Taehyung’s handsome face swam before my eyes, his bright, boxy smile lighting my insides on fire the way it had for the past year and a half. “What if I don’t want to?” I whispered.

“Well… That’s up to you. But the sooner you move on, the sooner you’ll stop feeling this pain.”

Detective Kwak stood up, motioning for me to stand up as well. “Come on. Your aunt’s waiting.”

We exited the interrogation room, the skin on my face itchy and dry from crying. I knew I probably looked like a mess, but I didn’t care.

“Y/n!” a deep, familiar voice shouted. I froze in my tracks, slowly raising my eyes to his inky ones. He struggled in the grip of two cops, his hands handcuffed behind his back.

“Hey baby girl,” he said, smirking. “Nice of you to come visit me.”

“What the fuck is he doing here?” Detective Kwak hissed.

“You said to move him into the interrogation room.”

“While it’s still occupied?!”

“Don’t worry,” Taehyung quipped. “We can share, right baby?”

“Get him out of here!” Detective Kwak snapped. “Now!”

The cops shoved Taehyung towards the interrogation room. I turned to look at him, desperation clenching at my heart. I realized this might be the last time I saw him, the last time I would get to tell him something. Anything. My mouth opened but no words came out.

“Don’t worry, baby girl!” Taehyung shouted, lurching towards me. “I’ll get out someday! And I’ll come for you! I will always come for you!”

I shook my head and felt tears prick at my eyes once more as the police wrestled with him. “I love you, Y/n!” he shouted just before they shut the door on him.

“Sorry about that,” Detective Kim said, holding a hand to her heaving chest. “You weren’t supposed to cross paths.”

“It’s okay,” I murmured, and to my own surprise, I meant it. I was glad I saw him one last time. I realized, in that moment, that the blue-haired boy I once knew and fell in love with was completely gone. His eyes, which once held a spark of playfulness and mischief, now held nothing but misery and woe. He let his anger for the world overtake him, allowing it to blaze a path of self-destruction that I could no longer follow.

Maybe the detective was right. Despite the fact that Kim Taehyung was the love of my life, maybe, just maybe, it was time to move on.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Part One is HEEEEEEERE! 😉

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

can you please give some reasons why you don’t think Caryl is done after this? Don’t see how it can happen now unfortunately.

not to invalidate your feelings, but are we even watching the same show, my dude?? 

there has never, in ten years, one decade, 87,600 hours, been a more caryl heavy season of twd

i’ve done several in-depth analysis posts, and i gotta get to bed soon, so here are the highlights just to ease your silly lil’ mind (under the cut bc it ended up being a stream-of-conscious novel):

first and foremost, we have a new showrunner, who is a woman, which is always a plus for our female characters bc we have someone who will make sure they’re three-dimensional people, and that was a big problem with caryl for a while. gimple put carol into a “i was abused but i got strong but now i’m sad bc i killed ppl :(((” corner and let her collect dust, and tbf, he also put daryl in the “i was abused but i got strong but now i must wallow in my Man Pain in silence” corner, and then he kind of just forgot about how they had an amazing chemistry and focused more on his three season-long dick jerking contest between Rapey Man #3 and Main Lead Male Grappling With Loss and Morality. so that helps us out a lot!

now in terms of the actual show, i’m just gonna like, list things without giving analysis or clarifying bc i’m tired and have already explained a lot of it, but if you need me to explain again you can just message me and i’ll answer it when i’m awake:

caryl’s storyline has been set up to sail since the start of s9

carol and zeke were always going to breakup, and she only married him for henry and escapism bc she’s never dealt with any of her trauma ever in her entire life and there is a lot of it

the title cards indicated as such

carol’s wardrobe change between the time jump in s9, and between “the calm before” and “the storm” indicated as such

carol’s wardrobe this season also indicates where her mindset is rn

kang is rewriting carol’s storyline, and in effect, rewriting caryl’s storyline, in order to right the wrongs done before, and that’s why it’s taking so long, bc she wants to tell it properly instead of just having them smash in the middle of a field with no build-up

not that we’d be against it, but i personally prefer it this way

carol trusts daryl as a father figure more than zeke. see: her asking him to watch over henry bc zeke is too idealistic, and “so what if i dream about you being my husband and henry’s dad sometimes? shut up”

carol went to visit daryl in the woods to escape her marriage that she didn’t actually want to be in anyway

carol got daryl to stop isolating himself

daryl then proceeded to do all his therapy homework and has settled down and is like “cool, time to finally get with carol!”

except kang is telling carol’s storyline properly

which means that carol is in CrazyTown rn, bc she has 1. been in an abusive marriage 2. seen her daughter walk out of a barn as a walker and then get shot in the head 3. seen a small girl stand over her dead sister while wielding a bloody knife and smiling like a maniac 3b. after having promised her late father she’d protect her 4. had to shoot said maniac girl in the head 4b. after having promised her late father she’d protect her 5. made a connection with a small boy against all efforts to the contrary and then he got eaten 6. finally saved a child and thought she finally broke her curse and got into a rly boring weird fantasy marriage in order to protect him only to see his reanimated head chilling out on a pike among a line of all of her dead friends

AND SHE REALLY NEEDS TO DEAL WITH THOSE THINGS, OK?

so she has #cracked and is spiraling, and daryl’s entire storyline this season has been “shit carol is trying to smuggle guns to rendezvous with the enemy,  wait shit lydia is getting beat up let me help her, wait shit carol is kidnapping whisperers and torturing them in the basement, wait shit lydia ran away, wait shit...” etc

SO HE HAS A REASON TO BE KIND OF TIRED RN 

but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, it just means that all this tension is leading up to something INTENSE between the two of them. it’s going to come to a head Big Time, and i am v v v hype

anyway back to random things that have been pro-caryl this season

they keep juxtaposing zeke and con with carol and daryl, and caryl pick each other every time

carol’s choice of weapon suddenly being a bow

flower symbolism

boat symbolism

new mexico

acorns and bracelets and their subsequent #meanings

THE FUCKING DREAM WHY ARE WE NOT STILL OBSESSING OVER THAT DREAM THAT DREAM WAS SO IMPORTANT???

she. literally. dreamt. she. was. married. to. daryl. dixon. in. literal. canon. and. stated. it. wasn’t. the. first. time. and. that. she. thinks. the. dreams. are. good. like wtfffff

daryl does not have feelings for con and is very explicit about it

the fact that it keeps coming up is delicious tho

“follow my voice” vs “follow my light”

“i’m the one you talk to”

the repetitive use of we/us

“if i only knew what you told me i wouldn’t know shit”

“i NEED you to stay”

alpha/beta foils and parallels

repetitive reminders of both carol and daryl’s past abuse

did i mention the dream where she dreamt that she was married to daryl bc i feel like that might have been important

carol having sex with zeke

yes that’s a good thing

yes i’m entertained by it and totally chill

we are at the very top of the roller coaster, lads, we are tying up all the strings, we are making sure carol and zeke have closure, we’re gonna get (probably in an irritating murder way) closure with connie, and Then There Were Two

10.14 is called “look at the flowers” for christsake

“i could never hate you” ok fanfic trope number 6 billion

all of it

literally all of it

this has been a crazy romantic, tumultuous season, and some really meticulous and purposeful and beautiful storytelling and it is about to pay tf off

until i am given E X P L I C I T reason not to:

I WILL STAN KANG

and also, just to add, there are characters and plotlines that exist outside of caryl, and the writers have to incorporate all of them. there are gonna be scenes with them, there are gonna be things that happen that seem negative but that make sense when you look at them on a larger scale. you cannot, CANNOT, look at each individual thing and take it at face value. we have a showrunner who knows how to write now, so little things mean bigger things, and not always the things you expect

i know this is not the proper use of bullet points

it is past my bedtime

but anyway caryl is coming ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

stay hype, stan kang, and get daryl to call carol sweetheart 2k20

the end

-diz

p.s. remember that dream? wild huh

[lailarain]

Spoilers for TBHK

TW: Mentions of s3xu@l åss@ult/@buse, $uicidə and bl00d

Episode 1:

I just finished episode 1 of Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun(Weird title, I know), and I just have to say...

I love Hanako and Nene and I will protect them both with my life🥰

Episode 2:

WOAH Hanako wyd😳

I kinda ship Hanako and Nene tho lol don't attack me

AYO THERE'S AN EYE UNDER YOUR DESK

Wait did Hanako steal her books or was it that eye thingy🤨

The title spelt faires wrong

OH SHOOT THE SCALES

Wait NO DON'T FALL FOR IT NENE IT'S BAIT

YES MA BOI HANAKO TO THE RESCUE

Wait are Yousei from japanese legend, like yokai or oni?

Okay I DEFINITELY SHIP THESE TWO

Wait why does Hanako look kinda said when she says that

awwww Hanako🥺

Wait what is he talking about who was his friend before

Nene is awesome istg🥺

WAIT WHO IS THE BLONDE DUDE WHY IS HE LOOKING FOR HANAKO NO

"I wish a hot guy who fall out the sky for me that way" girl Hanako is literally RIGHT there

Omfg this orange hair f-boy🤨

Wait WASN'T THAT THE NAME OF HER CRUSH

Hanako just standing there like 😐

WAIT NO LEAVE HANAKO ALONE

He tried to not swear in front of her lol

HOLDUP MA PRECIOUS BABY BOI DID NOT MURDER SOMEONE WTF

HOW DARE HE SAY THAT NO ONE WANTS HANAKO AROUND

Jesus Hanako is so cute lol

I honestly can't tell if hanako is an owo boy or a bruh boy istg

OKAY CAN SOMEONE TELL WHO THIS WEIRD RADOI LADY IS AND WHY SHE KEEPS SHOWING UP AT THE END OF THE EPISODE

Episode 3:

(That one part in the intro) Step-yellow sillouette, what you doing😳

For real tho Hanako looks pretty scared during that part of the intro why are they biting his ear(maybe Hanako was a victim of s3xu@l assault?)

Wait isn't Hanako the 7th of the 7 Wonders

Okay that's kinda gross😟

Okay Aoi is pretty sweet😌

WAIT NO AOI SHE WAS TOO PRECIOUS

NO AOI BETTER NOT BE GONE

NO NOT THE BLOOD

What is she talking about he's not hot at all🤨

OH SHOOT IS HE A GHOST

Okay can minamoto leave Hanako alone🙄

Awww Hanako is half hto and half cute I might be a simp

OKAY WOAH THIS PLACE IS COOL

I mean Hanako has a good point😳

NO DON'T ANSWER IT

OKAY WOAH DON'T ASK SOME HIGH SCHOOLER TO GO COLLECT YOUR BODY PARTS NOPE

Okay WOAH how old are you exactly, Hanako?

Okay this fantasy is making me uncomfortable😀

Girl, you're already cute. You don't need to be a Miu Iruma lookalike to find love

THE BOOBS LMAOO😭😭😭😭😭

Awwww Hanako being sweet to Nene🥺

YES HANAKO SAVING THE DAY

Wait why didn't she answer his question🤨

Wait who WAS making those phone calls?

WAIT THE EPISODE IS ALREADY OVER?!?!?!?

Episode 4:

Okay but for real WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THE YELLOW SILHOUETTE AND HANAKO IN THE INTRO?!?!?!

Wait I just noticed that in the part with the yellow silhouette, Hanako is tied up with rope😳

Okay here's my theory:

When Hanako was alive, he was a student at the school. He was s3xu@lly a$$aulted in the bathroom, and muđəred his attacker out of anger/mental instability, therefore cursing him to the bathroom he was assaulted in. He became a ghost to make up for his sins.

Idk I could be totally off-base

HOLY FUCK IT'S A HEAD

IT'S THE BODY LMAOOO

Wait she actually likes it🤨

HOLY SHIT EWWWWWW

WAIT WHAT NO NOT AOI

WHAT THE FUCK NOOOOOO NOT AOI

WAIT YES AOI ISN'T DEAD

Hanako is so sweet istg.

HANAKO REALLY JUST PUSHED HER OFF THE EDGE LIKE A PSYCHOPATH AJAGRKEBDUDBD

Can she not spell or something🤨

WAIT WAS THE GHOST A STUDENT OF MISAKI

Wait she had a crush on her teacher that's so gross

Oh no. The student didn't know Misaki was murdered🥺

WAIT NO THIS IS SAD

OH SHOOT THAT IS DARK

aww she misses the teacher🥺

YES HANAKO MY BOY

WAIT HANAKO NO HE'S HURT

Nene is really fed up😳

WAIT WHAT NO SHE'S GONNA DIE?!?!?!?!

Awwww poor girl🥺

Why'd she have to die😭

Little Fox is mean😑

WAIT DID HE JUST KISS HER YES BABY

WAIT WHO'S THAT GREEN-HAIR GIRL

HE FORGOT ABOUT MINAMOTO LMAOOO😭

Episode 5:

Okay BUT WHO IS GRABBING HANAKO IN THE INTRO ISTG

LMAO SHE WAS FANTASIZING😭😭😭

Okay but she's SO pretty with her in a braid

Are you sure there was NOTHING good about that😏

YES AOI MY GIRL GIVING HER GOOD ADVICE

But I doubt Hanako would admit it

WAIT DID HANAKO PLANT THAT TREE OR AM I PARANOID

I'm excited to see how THIS plays out😁

HANAKO WHAT DID YOU SAYYYYY

WAIT IS HE REALLY GONNA DO IT

WAIT ARE THESE BITCHES GAYYYYYY

Wait what if the tree curses people

GIRL ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THAT HANAKO ISN'T HOT AS IS!?!?!?

WAIT YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS THIS IS SO COOL

WAIT WHAT'S THE CATCH

Of course he didn't actaully mean it THIS SUCKS😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

HE'S HOLDING HER I REPEAT HE'S HOLDING HER

poor Nene

WAIT OH NO SHE'S CRYING

WAIT DOES HE ACTUALLY LIKE HER

HE'S BLUSHING WHAT

YES YES YES YES YES YESSSSSSSS

WAIT HE'S RIGHT THERE

I was right they have the same last name!

WAIT THIS BITCH BETTER NOT COME BETWEEN HANAKO AND NENE

CAN THIS BITCH SHUT UP

TERU STOP IT RN

Okay I kinda feel bad for Kou rn🥺

HOW IS HE ANY OF THOSE THINGS

Wait who is that girl🤨

YES I WANNA FIND OUT MORE ABOUT HANAKO

THE GREEN HAIR GIRL AND NATSU-SOMETHING ARE UP TO NO GOOD I CAN FEEL IT

Wait WHY WAS HANAKO SMILING

I have a bad feeling about this.

Episode 6:

Yeah Hanako really seems like the good guy🤨

WOAH what's up with the door?

I love the Mokkes🥺

It's her book😶

WOAH OKAY THEN SHE REALLY IS IN LOVE

WAIT WHY IS THERE BLOOD

HOLDUP HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THAT

HANAKO MA BOI

WOAH OKAY YES HE'S HOLDING HER

DID HE JUST EAT THE BUTTERFLY

God I love Hanako

WAIT YOU'RE GONNA CANCEL THE WHAT NOW

Ooooooo I wanna heae some juicy secrets😏

Girl, that secret wasn't juicy at all🙄

Wait what does the library ghost know🤨

SAY SOMETHING HANAKO YES

He's so cute tho

BUT I LOVE DONUTS TOO HOW IS THAT JUICY

HANAKO YOU WERE LOOKING REAL PROTECTIVE OF HER THEN😏😏😏

I feel bad for Nene because they keep saying her legs are fat, as if the boys that say that are gonna get any better. NENE IS A FREAKIN CATCH😤😤😤

Wait what is he talking about Hanako😶

WAIT HE IS TALKING ABOUT HANAKO, ISN'T HE

WAIT HANAKO WAS HIS STUDENT HE'S SO CUTE

Awwwww Hanako🥺🥺🥺🥺

WAIT HANAKO ISN'T EVEN HIS NAME!??!?!? IT'S YUGI?!?!?!?

Awwwww Hanako🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Wait, so did Hanako commit $uicidə, or am I just paranoid?

Wait so that means that happened on the day of July 15, 1969.......SO HOW OLD IS HANAKO AGAIN?!?!?!?!?

WAIT SO HE NEVER GOT HIS DREAM TO COME TRUE BECAUSE HE DIED THAT'S SO SAD

Wait so am I right DID HE REALLY COMMIT $UICIDƏ ?!?!?!?

I THINK HANAKO SMELLS A SNITCH

Man this is a lot to unpack for just one episode

Episode 7:

I love how childish Hanako is

WAIT I SAW THE YELLOW SILOUETTE THING AGAIN AND I HAVE A THOUGHT:

What if Hanako got those bruises because of the səxua| ass@ult thing I said before? That would make sense.

Idk maybe I'm just too obsessed with that theory

I see Hanako differently after the Library too, but in a different way.

What why the donuts?

He's totally lying. I bet he's gonna make some for Hanako🥺

Okay but Kou is actually pretty sweet

I mean, if he DID murder someone who bullied him, they had it coming for touching my precious Hanako😤

Yous shouldn't stop being friends with someone just because it's complicated. ALL friendships are complicated. It isn't supposed to be easy.

Awwww Nene🥺🥺🥺

Okay I'm kinda hungry for donuts now

Ugh it's Teru🙄

Okay KOU YOU'RE ACTUALLY PRETTY COOL

Okay Teru YOU SUCK SO MUCH

SO ARE THE GREEN HAIR AND NASTU-SOMETHING BIY EVIL OR NOT I'M SO CONFUSED

Hanako is so cute sometimes istg

POOR HANAKO OOF

YES NENE😤😤

THEY ARE BLUSHING I REPEAT THEY ARE BLUSHING

"You're totally not my type" okay first of all that is bullshit and second of all get yourself a boy who's chill when you say you don't like them

OKAY WHAT'S GOING ON

HE'S GOLDING HER

Wait why does Hanako look terrified that's not good

HOLDUP WHO DID HE KILL WHY IS THERE AN AD RIGHT WHEN IT'S ABOUT TO SAY WHO HE KILLED

WOAH WHO THE FUCK IS THAT WHY DO THEY LOOK LIKE HANAKO WHAT IS GOING ON AHDVEKDVEIDVDJ

GET YOUR HAND OFF OF HIS FACE THIS GUY TOTALLY $EXU@LLY @SSAULTED HIM

YES NENE PROTECT YOUR MAN

HOLY SHIT HE'S BURNING

DID HE REALLY JUST RE-TRAUMATIZE HANAKO AND THEN LEAVE?!?!?!?

WAIT WHAT IS HANAKO DOING

WAIT HE'S CRYING

HANAKO WHAT'S WRONG

I WANNA GIVE HANAKO A HUG SO BADLY ISTG

WAIT SO THERE'S THE ONES CHANGING THE RUMORS?

OKAY WHO IS THIS BITCH

Wait THAT'S HIS BROTHER WHY DID HE KILL HIS BROTHER

This partially denies the possiblity of my theory(MOSTLY denies it), but not entirely. There's a big chance I'm wrong.

WAIT SO SAKURA IS THE ONE DOING THE RADIO THING?!?!?!

WAIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

Hanako🥺🥺🥺🥺

I have a feeling that that is probably jsut a random student😅

Hanako, I hate it when you're sad😭😭😭

WAIT SO HIS EARRING WAS FOR TRAFFIC SAFETY THE WHOLE TIME LMAOOOOO

OKAY WOAH BACK UP GHOST-PERSON

KOU IS NOT A M0ŁƏ$TER

Wait that was the whole episode?

Episode 8:

Okay the person @ssaulting(maybe even $exua||y @$$aulting idk I think I'm just obsessed with that theory) in the intro is definitely his brother

Mitsuba is kinda weird and annoying, but also funny at the same time

Excuse me Traffic safety is no joke😐

WAIT SO HE KNEW MITSUBA AND JUST FORGOT?!?!?!?

Awwww Mitsuba🥺🥺🥺🥺

No Mitsuba you're cool

KOU WHAT THE F ARE YOU SAYING

AWWWWW THIS IS SO SWEET

MITSUBA I SEE YOU BLUSHING😏😏😏😏

MITSUBA NOOOOOOOOOO

TSUKASA STOP IT

NO POOR MITSUBA STOP IT

HOW DARE THEY

NOOOOOO MITSUBA AAAAAAAA

OKAY IMA BOUT TO THROW HANDS WITH TSUKASA, WHO'S WITH ME😤😤😤😤

TSUKASA YOU SICK SEDUCER STOP LYING TO MITSUBA

NOOOOOOOOO MITSUBA

POOR HANAKO LEAVE HIM ALONE TSUKASA

Okay "Let's play together like we used to" really sounds like $exu@l @$$ault

Kou🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Awwww Hanako🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

NO THIS ISN'T THE WAY MITSUBA SHOULD GO OUT NO

I'm am so close to crying rn

OH KOU JUST REALIZED WHAT HE WAS TAKING A PHOTO OF AWWWWW

Okay wow all of that really happened in one episode

Episode 9:

I'm sorry that I won't shut up about my theory BUT THAT ONE PART REALLY LOOKS LIKE WHAT I THINK IT IS I SWEAR

I feel so bad for Hanako rn tho

Omfg It's Natsuhiko🙄

Nene stop it this dude is BAD NEWS

WAIT NO THEY BETTER NO DO ANYTHING TO MY PRECIOUS NENE ISTG

I HAVE THE SAME QUESTIONS, NENE

FRIENDS MY ASS

(To be continued here because I ran out of space)

[lucky-bucky-boy]

Captain

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 2670

Warnings: ROUGH sex, choking, a slap, unprotected sex, authority kink, oral (male receiving)

A/N: I kinda feel like this is meh but also like I outdid myself. Let me know what yall think tho

I do not own these characters. Do not repost my writing/fics anywhere without my written permission.

-

Another shot of burning liquid, a chorus of laughter from the girls around you, eyes pinched shut to ground you. Maria had just told the group her most embarrassing memory, one the involved Fury and being caught in an all too suggestive position that you hoped the vodka could wipe the image of.

Sitting your small glass down, Wanda grabbed the bowl of crumpled up papers and shoved it towards you, "(Y/N)!" She called through a series of giggles. "Your turn!"

A playful sigh and roll of your eyes as you plucked a piece of paper out. Opening it up, you pursed your lips, contemplating the prompt in front of you.

"Whatcha get?" Nat pushed, lips wrapping around her beer.

"What is your most unpopular opinion?" Rereading the question over and over again the answer swirled in you. It was simple, easy for you at least. But you knew the girls surrounding you wouldn't agree.

"Come on, it can't be that hard," Nat pushed, "Like, do you secretly love Justin Bieber? Or have an obsession with the Pussycat Dolls?"

A scoff fell from your lips, "No, but you guys are definitely going to give me push back when I tell you." You grumbled, grabbing another bottle of Smirnoff Ice.

"Come on," Wanda pushed more.

"Really, (Y/N/N), it can't be that bad." Maria chimed.

With an exasperated sigh you leaned back in your seat, "Fine, but I swear if any of you give me grief I'm going to bed." A nervous tousle of your hair, "I don't think Steve deserves the title of Captain. You can't just get pumped with a serum and suddenly be called Captain America."

A chorus of "what"s and "you're joking" came from the group of girls.

"No, I'm not."

"You're being serious?" Nat asked, "You genuinely think Steve doesn't deserve it?"

"What don't I deserve?" A voice echoed behind you, sending a shiver you knew all too well down your spine. A curious, almost stern tone in his voice.

A rush of regret flooded through you as you turned to look at the blond. He must've just gotten back from a run, hair slicked back with sweat and tight fitting under armour shirt sticking to every muscle, voice deep as he messed with his beard.

"Tell him, (Y/N)." Wanda's voice came through a series of nervous giggles.

A loud groan as you turned to face Steve who was moving closer to you, towering over your sitting figure. "We needed something to occupy us while we drink so we put a bunch of questions in a bowl and we're going around answering them and I pulled "what is your most unpopular opinion" and shockingly enough my opinion was unpopular and the girls are being dicks now."

Steve chuckled softly at the rambling that fell from your lips. "And I'm assuming that opinion involves me. What is it? The beard?"

A purse of your lips and a small shake of your head. "Nope, not that. I actually really like the beard. Wish you would've grown it out long ago."

A pure look of confusion paired with a small tilt of his head. "What is it then?"

"You don't want to know, Rogers."

"Then why did I ask, (Y/L/N)?"

A chorus of "ooooh"s and giggles from the girls around you instantly had you blushing a dark red. After throwing them a glare, you sighed once more and turned back to Steve. "I said that I don't think you deserved to have been given the title of Captain. You can't just be pumped up with the super soldier serum and just magically be given the title. Like if they gave it to you now, I'd understand that but they gave it to you straight from the bottom."

Steve quirked an eyebrow at you, chewing his bottom lip as he processed what you had just told him. His teammate, one he genuinely respected, someone he'd even called a friend, and one with added benefits some time ago; someone who has followed him into the line of duty nearly blind just said he didn't deserve the title of Captain. "Why don't we talk in private, (Y/N)? We can clear some things up between us. My room. Now."

He left no room for argument as he left you there, shocked and nervous as you turned to the girls who begin laughing. After an annoyed "fuck you guys" thrown their way, you chugged the rest of your drink and made your way to Steve's room.

A soft rap of your knuckles met by a gruff, "Get in here", a quickness to your heartbeat, the adrenaline sending a shockwave to your core when you saw Steve, hand running through his hair as he paced. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Shut and lock the door." He turned to look at you, face devoid of any emotion. The second he heard the door click he stalked towards you. A dark look in his eyes as he trapped you against the door, hands on either side of you.

"Steve?" Your voice came out smaller and weaker than you had anticipated.

"I don't deserve the title Captain?" There was a slight scoff in his voice. A hand came up the grip you chin, tilting your face up, lips just ghosting over yours. "I'm gonna make you regret that."

Before you could retort his lips were against yours in a bruising kiss, stealing the breath from your lungs. It didn't last long, a large hand wrapping around your throat as he pulled away, "If you call me anything other than Captain I will punish you harder than I ever have. Do you understand me, little girl?"

A squeak fell from your lips as you attempted to nod, but that wasn't good enough for Steve. The hand around your throat let go and lightly slapped your cheek. "Speak when you're spoken to, bitch," he growled.

"Yes, Captain," you whined.

"Good girl. Seems like you do know how to take orders from your superior." A devilish smirk danced across his lips before kicking your feet out from underneath you, watching you drop to your knees.

"Take my cock out and suck it like the little slut you are." His voice boomed with the command as he watched you do as you were told.

Pulling his pants and briefs down just enough for his thick length to bob out, you were quick with your movements, not wanting to piss him off any more. Precum glistened on his bulbous tip, practically begging to be licked away. And you wasted no time, suckling the tip of his cock before taking down as much as you could.

Steve didn't let you stay in control long. Grabbing a fistful of your hair he begin to move your mouth up and down his length, growling particularly loud when your throat spazzed around his cock as you gagged on his girth. He waited until your mascara ran down your cheeks from the tears streaming down your face to pull off.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself, little girl?"

A wicked smile graced your lips. "That really all you got Stevie? Must've lost your touch after I stopped letting you fuck me whenever you wanted."

A scoff fell from his lips, hands tangling in your hair and pulling a wince from you as he practically dragged you to the bed. A rough shove and you landed on the plush mattress you'd been on multiple times before, the softness a welcome contrast to the man before you. Before you could scramble to look at him, Steve manhandled you onto your knees and landed a sharp smack to your ass.

The moan that ripped from you made Steve chuckle darkly. "Let's not forget who would beg me to fuck them, little girl. Who would tell me how much the loved my fat cock splitting them in two." Another smack to your ass  "Or have you become too far stuck up your own ass that you forgot who really knows how to take care of you?" Another, harder smack. "Speak when you're spoken to."

You managed to choke out, "I haven't forgotten, Captain," around your whines and whimpers.

Steve pulled away from you, "Strip. Then hands and knees. If you're not ready by the time I come back I swear to God you will regret it." His voice was commanding and left no room for argument, not that you would at this point, too far consumed in your own desire to risk a release.

As he disappeared into his walk-in closet you made haste on discarding your clothes, being sure they made it into his hamper as well as not to piss him off more. You couldn't deny it though, you missed this, missed him. But that was something to address later as an ache of need shot through your core.

You positioned yourself in the middle of his bed, on your knees and leaning your weight on your forearms to arch your back. The sound of his closet closing made a wave of anticipation run through you, the urge to close your thighs overpowering.

"Look at you," his voice was condescending and dripped with a tease, "So fucking wet. Such a little bitch that I haven't even had to touch you and you're already soaking my sheets. Dirty little girl," the bed dipped behind you, "what should I do to you? I don't think you've quite learned your lesson."

A whimper left your lips as you tried to find an answer. "I think I deserve to be spanked, Captain."

You could practically hear the smirk on his lips. "You do? Good girl, maybe I'll actually let you cum. How many do you think you deserve?"

"10?" Your voice was questioning, hoping he'd let you off easily. Steve didn't like being embarrassed, didn't like having his authority questioned.

"I was going to say 20, but since you're deciding you want to be a good girl, I'll be nice and do 15. But I won't hesitate to give you more if you act up again. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Captain."

"Be a good girl and count." A firm hand came down hard on your ass, easily leaving a handprint and turned your skin bright red.

"One," you choked out.

Steve continued, turning your ass and thighs a pretty shade that screamed bad girl. You felt the scraping of his beard as he left kisses across the sensitive skin. "Fuck, such a good girl for me. Why can't you be this good when I'm not around?" A kiss turned into a bite, a strangled sound pulling from you.

"Please," you pleaded.

"Please what, little girl?" He asked, sitting up and threading a hand through your hair, tugging you so your back became flush with his bare chest. His cock was pressed between your ass and his abdomen, precum sticking both of you. "What could you possibly be asking for?" He teased.

"Please fuck me. Please make me cum. I'm sorry, Steve - Captain, I'm sorry. I was just upset that you had stopped giving me attention," the confession slipped out without you even realizing.

"What was that?" He snickered softly.

"I was just being a petty little bitch because you stopped messing around with me to go on a date." You whined, face flushing.

"So you're jealous?" His breath ghosted over the shell of your ear. "Baby girl, all you had to do was tell me how much you missed me."

"I missed you so much, Captain, please. I feel like I'm going insane."

"That's the point."

Steve's hand moved from your hair to your chest, massaging the plush flesh, thick calloused fingers swiping over your nipples and sending shockwaves to your core.

"Remember that time I made you cum just from this? Just from playing with your pretty little tits?" That drip in his voice never left. "God, remember the sound of your pretty little whimpers pleas is enough to get me off."

The shiver that went down your spine didn't go unnoticed. "But, that's not what I'm using you for tonight. You were a bad girl, you're lucky I didn't spank you more. So, I'm gonna use that tight little pussy to get myself off. And I don't fucking care if you cum or not," with a forceful push your face was buried in the mattress.

His large hands massaged your ass, spreading your cheeks. "Such a pretty sight. I'm half tempted to fuck that little ass of yours instead." He chuckled at the whimper that left you, watching as you wiggled your ass. "You wouldn't even care. That's how badly you want me to fuck you. Pathetic."

Seemingly having grown impatient with himself, Steve lined himself up with your core after swiping the tip through your soaked folds to make it easier. He gripped your hips in a way you knew you were gonna be bruised tomorrow and slammed in, forcing all the air out of your lungs with the force of his thrust.

He set a brutal pace, slapping your ass when he pleased, moaning and groaning out obscenities. "Pretty little cunt squeezing me so perfectly." "No man will ever be able to please you like I do." "You're just my little cockslut and you fucking love it." It was true. All of it, and you knew it. Steve brought out the best in you, sent you to the highest havens, made you want to do things no one else ever had.

A vice grip as your walls spasmed around his intruding member signaled you were close. It was amazing how he could get you there without even touching your clit. The white hot euphoria begin to build stronger and stronger in you, a perfectly angled thrust that felt like it hit your cervix ultimately being your demise as the dam broke and pleasure wiped over you.

A scream that died off into a strangled moan as he continued to thrust, chasing his own end with erratic movements. "Captain please, cum in me," you whined, pushing your ass back to meet his hips.

"Fucking hell," he groaned, finally spilling everything he had into you. A few more thrust to ride out his high before he pulled out, watching the mix of both of your cums dripping out of you.

"So pretty. Stay there, baby girl, let me clean you up."

Steve disappeared from behind you and you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. He returned from his bathroom a moment later with a warm washcloth. "You might be a little sore, sugar, just breath m'kay?"

You nodded in response and relinquished in the feeling of Steve wiping you down. His touch disappeared and he appeared in front of you now, wearing a pair of pajama pants and holding a pair of his boxers and a t shirt. "Here’s some clothes, get dressed and let's cuddle."

He watched as you sat up and took them, slipping the shirt over yourself and tossing the boxers to the side, earning a light hearted chuckle from him. The softness on his face quickly changed to worry as he knelt down on the bed in front of you, cupping your face. "I didn't hurt you, did I?" He asked.

A sleepy smile was all you could muster. "No you didn't. But I did miss you a lot, Captain." You're voice had a tease in it and Steve couldn't help but shake his head and laugh.

Pulling the covers out from beneath you two, he repositioned the both of you, pulling you into his side and letting silence consume you for a few minutes while the lustful moments sizzled out and changed to that of an intimate one.

"I feel like we have a lot to talk about," he finally spoke up.

A huff of an attempt to laugh fell from your lips, "Yeah, we do. But not right now. Tomorrow, I wanna savor this."

Tags: (I tagged everyone who liked and reblog if it allowed me to) @taylortheyellowlobster @superlulumac-blog @the-musical-junkie @cecey-child @buckyssoul @nomadmilk @dewy-biitch @holylangdon @cosmic-cause @trappedinthisfabulousshow @ohbabycal @nobody916 @this-aint-a-scene-its-maggie @flowersnbeer @thesleepy1 @selenafawks @capsiclesdoll @primordialhandmaidan @liffydaze @joonmail @kirmt15 @heavxn666 @steeeeverogers @yokaimoon @alohagigikai @ohlalalina @cloudywriter @jimintishy @c-d-h13 @imafangirlofeverything @missnighttigress @elizabeth-marie-moon @melissamaine @fanfictionrecommendations-com @rosywaifu @benegrido @panemedited @rowann003 @ladyoathkeeper @thatweirdchick147 @herglowingwayz @wwhitewwolff @imxxtrisha2 @dead-butonly-ironically @spreaded-butter @cake-reads @l0st-inmy-0wn-th0ughts​ @cassidyjocross​ @ashwarren32​ @quitepointless​ @seesaw-it​ @vapingisntmything​ @romaniandumbass​ @thefandomallrounder​ @glass-hummingbird​ @effmigentlywithachainsaw​ @accesspasswordrustyisacowboy​ @deviltownn​ @kitten051989​ @navispalace​ @godlymissbalor​ @gracefulvaudeville​ @johnnynunzio​ (aka this is the one who inspires me to write)

[wayward-wren]

Alright I’m six episodes in and haven’t said anything yet time for a rundown of my thoughts on Umbrella Academy season 2 so far

Luther: I am liking him more this season. To be fair I was very much on the ‘hey he was also abused and Made Mistakes’ side BUT seeing him apologize to Vanya did make me happy. I’m ALSO subscribing more and more to the ‘Allison rumored him to love her’ theory bc a) it happened in the comics and b) kinda like that better than Luther just being creepily obsessive over his sister. (Shout out to Klaus’ ‘if you have to say technically you’re in trouble’ btw) It’s cool seeing him stand up to his father in episode 6 you go my man (Honestly they’re all slowly dealing with his abuse which is cool)

Diego: I’ve been really enjoying Diego this season! He’s coming to terms with his hero complex and what not and it’s cool to see. I also really appreciate him being like ‘no more numbers we’re a family.’ so shout out to him. Also the stutter making a reappearance after his father DEMOLISHED him hurt. (and the second hand embarrassment of him talking to Grace HURT IN A VERY DIFFERENT WAY I CANT DEAL WITH THAT WELL)

Allison: Oh BOY Allison my GIRL I love her but she’s COMPLICATED. Watching her deal with the sit-in and the riot was hard and I felt like punching someone with the blatant racism in her first scene. Her and Ray are a good couple, I want them to communicate and BE HAPPY cos Allison deserves it but also she did go a little too far with the coffee. 

Klaus: Honestly he hasn’t changed THAT much. Shout out to him for trying to disband his cult tho! Also. Dude. Stop stalking your dead teenaged boyfriend it’s kinda creepy you deserved the punch ngl. Also be nicer to your BROTHER PLEASE HE HAS NO WAY OF INTERACTING WITH THE WORLD WITHOUT YOU (Side note I am loving his and Allison’s interactions this season we did NOT get enough of that last season)

Five: I don’t have that much to say about Five this season tbh. Aiden is once again given an amazing performance, he really nails the grumpy 58 year old vibe. But anyway he just wants his family safe and doesn’t know what to do! 

Ben: can we please give my ghost boy some development? Some love??? Klaus is USING him and I’m mad at Klaus about that and Klaus KINDA deserved to be possessed but also kinda not cool on Ben’s side but like,,, unless Klaus lets him do ANYTHING he CANT so what else could he do this is his family as well??? Look I just want my boy to get the appreciation he DESERVES and Klaus isn’t GIVING THAT TO HIM why didn’t he tell Five he was there??? (I heard rumours that Ben’s death scene is in this season? Maybe? So I’m READY TO CRY BABYEE i just want him to have a part and to talk to his siblings and to be happy and to have more DEPTH i love him he’s my faovurite and he needs more love p l e a s e)

Vanya: Gonna be real with you. I am NOT A FAN of the whole Vanya and Sissy thing. I might make a separate post about that at some point but I’m just,,, really not liking it at all. Other than that, I am really enjoying Vanya’s story! I really enjoyed the scene with her Allison and Klaus in the barber shop THAT’S THE SIBLING CONTENT I AM HERE FOR

Other thoughts: Reginald is a better father to a chimpanzee than his own human children so shout out to father of the year here. Also baby Pogo is ADORABLE. 

And I think that’s about it, aside from the theory that Lila (I think that’s her name) is one of the 43 children born on October 1st bc she WAS born in ‘89 so I wonder if she’ll get powers. 

Oh yeah speaking of powers, the weird red glowy lights that Vanya gave to Hurley (I think that’s HIS name) looked kinda? like the lights Reggie let out at the end of season 1? So? Idk? I’m not sure if that’s a VANYA thing or a ‘children born on this date’ thing I am interested to find out! 

[descendantofthesparrow]

Daughter of the Honorable thief - Harry Hook x reader - part 3 - threat and games

Harry Hook x Daughter of Robin Hood!Reader

 key

 h/c- hair color

 e/c- eye color

 h/l- hair length

 s/c- skin color

 y/n- your name

 clothing reference:

  ---

Harry gave a tired sigh as he entered History of pirates and wood, he and Gil had gorged themselves on ice cream and candy all night and now he was suffering from not enough sleep, a sugar crash, and a stomach ache.

Glancing up he paused, there was (y/n), sitting in the seat next to his, her sketchbook open and her pencil flittering around on the page.

Harry smirked, plopping down next to her, and rose his brow flirtatiously, leaning in close to her.

“Hello, lassie~ I thought yeh sat in the back of the class? didn't know ye were meh seatmate now, were yeh just that into meh that yeh had ta switch seats to be next to meh?”

(y/n) snorted and shoved his face away gently, grinning back at him.

“nah, you and I were the only ones without a seatmate, and the teach asked me if I would be willing to move next to you, nothing like what you’re suggesting hooky~, by the way, I like the jacket”

Harry snickered, quickly grasping her hand and bringing it to his lips, making (y/n) giggle at the sensation.

“sorry, I couldn’t resist teasing such a pretty face~ and thanks, evie made it for meh, since I can't wear my long red one all the time, so she made me this one”

“Mr. Hook, Ms. Loxley, if I could begin my lesson please?”

Henry Turner, the class teacher, called out to both of you, making harry drop your hand and grin sheepishly at him.

You snickered and rolled your eyes, nodding at the teacher. He rose his brow and turned to the whiteboard.

“Alright today, we are talking about the brethren court.

Now, who can tell me the last king of the brethren court's name?”

Harry furrowed his brow, he felt like he should know this, being a pirate and all, but his brain drew a black, but in the corner of his eye, he saw (y/n)s hand shoot up.

“yes, Ms. Loxley?”

“Elizabeth Swan sir”

“good, now how is the king chosen?”

Once more (y/n)s hand shoot up, Mr. Turner pointed at her with a smile.

“they are chosen through a vote, though it usually ends in an impasse, as pirates only ever vote for themselves.”

“correct! And very educated Ms. Loxly, now how did Elizabeth become the king?...go ahead Ms. Loxley”

“Elizabeth voted for herself and jack sparrow also ended up voting for her.”

“correct! Now extra credit to who comes up here to name all the pirate lords from Elizabeth swans reign”

Mr. Turner had written on the board numbers, from 1-9.

(y/n) stood up and made her way to the whiteboard, Harry had been staring at her in awe the entire time, jaw dropped.

(y/n) quickly wrote down the names on the board, along with the areas of the sea and oceans they command over.

1. Ammand - Pirate Lord of the Black Sea

2. Hector Barbossa - Pirate Lord of the Caspian Sea

3. Chevalle - Pirate Lord of the Mediterranean Sea

4. Ching - Pirate Lord of the Pacific Ocean

5. Jocard - Pirate Lord of the Atlantic Ocean

6. Jack Sparrow - Pirate Lord of the Caribbean Sea

7. Sumbhajee Angria - Pirate Lord of the Indian Ocean

8. Elizabeth Swann - Pirate Lord of the South China Sea

9. Eduardo Villanueva - Pirate Lord of the Adriatic Sea

(y/n) grinned and tossed the marker to Mr.Turner, strutting back to her seat.

“all correct Ms.Loxley! impressive!”

As (y/n) sat down, Harry turned to her with wide eyes.

“Lassie where did yeh learn all that?!” (y/n) grinned and tapped her finger on Harry's nose, giggling.

“hehe I had a pirate phase when I was younger and I researched everything about them, and I simply retained the information after that~”

Harry snickered back, softly smiling at her in awe, this girl was just surprising him left and right.

The two chatted as class continued on, easily answering the teacher when he questioned them.

As Harry made his locker, he noticed (y/n) trailing behind him, smirking he turned around, now walking backward, licking his lips.

“now-now lassie~ do yeh like meh that much that yeh havta follow meh everywhere I go~”

(y/n) rolled her eyes and snorted, shaking her head. “no you doofus, my locker is right next to yours, that’s how I saw you being cornered by the lost boys”

Harry hummed and spun around, stopping at his locker. (y/n) stopped as well and locked hers, putting her books away as Harry grabbed his English books.

As they chatted, Happy’s son, Henry, walked up with a shy smile on his face.

“Hello, (y/n), um I was wondering if you would like to hang out today? Have some pleasant company?”

Harry caught the meaning behind the boy's words and rolled his eyes, of course, yes get the filthy pirate away from the maiden!

But once more, (y/n) surprised him.

“you’re about as subtle as a shit stain on white carpet, get lost”

Henry squeaked and bolted, figurative tail between his legs.

Harry and (y/n) glanced at each other before they burst out laughing

“HAHA oh my god lassie!!” Harry spoke through his laughter, tears spilling out of his eyes, “ yeh just continue to surprise meh! Haha!”

(y/n) chortled and winked, giving him finger guns, before turning back to her locker and digging into it for a couple of seconds before pulling back and tossing him a long blue plastic package.

Oreos. Harry smiled and nodded his thanks, (y/n) nodded back and shut her locker, backing away slightly. “I gotta go, it's my free period and the archery range is always empty at this point. See ya hook!”

“see ya, lassie!”

Harry turned and started to make his way to English class, while also opening his oreos, sticking his tongue slightly in concentration.

Looking down at the plastic packaging, he wasn’t watching where he was going and therefore didn’t see as someone walked down the hall and harshly slammed into his shoulder, Harry winced, thankfully not dropping his snack, but continued on, determined to open this dammed bag of oreos.

“filth like you should be sent back to the isle”

Harry stopped and slowly turned, his face dark.

“wha did yeh say yeh arsehole?”

Aaron, son of Esmerelda and Phoebus, stood several feet away from him glaring at Harry.  “you heard me filth’

Harry growled, but restrained himself, the vks cant fight rule was only lifted yesterday, and it only counted when they were provoked, so he turned his cheek and continued on. Ignoring the other boy's taunts.

“Hook”

Harry groaned but turned and rose his brow, “wha’?”

The tanned skinned boy sneered and glared at him, an odd glint in his eyes, “stay away from (y/n), she’s mine.”

Harry snorted and gave a sly grin, his knuckles cracking at the possessive claim. “oh really? She never mentioned yeh been the time been chilling with each other, yeh sure yer that important to her, or even on her friend?”

Aaron snarled and spit at Harrys feet. “just stay away from her pirate, you'll regret it if you don’t.”

Aaron turned and stalked away, Harry rolled his eyes, please, this boy was less intimidating than lefou’s son.

But...Harry frowned, what was concerning, was the boy's obvious obsession with (y/n).

Hearing the bell for English class ring out, he sped up into a sprint and resolved to tell Uma after school ended.

---

Later after school ended, Harry sat with Uma and Gil, doing his math homework,  gritting his teeth over a particularly hard question.

Oh wait he wanted to talk to Uma about Aaron and (y/n), lifting himself off of Gil's lap slightly, he turned to Uma.

“Uma” the teal haired black girl hummed and glanced at Harry, but the stern look on his face made her sit up from leaning on Gil's arm and realize this was going to be a serious talk between the two of them.

“Harry? What's up?”

Harry sighed and ran his hand through his fluffy brown-black hair, thinking of ways to convey his concern for (y/n).

“so I was making my way to English class and someone bumped me and said; “filth like yeh should be sent back teh the isle”.”

Gil and Uma glared at the words, Uma grit her teeth, but stopped herself from going on a rant, she could tell that wasn’t what was bothering Harry.

“well,” Gil mumbled, scratching the side of his face, “that’s a really rude thing for an Auradon kid to say isn’t it?”

Uma shrugged, at least it was just words, it wasn’t as bad as the dudes here who felt that just when a girl looked at them, the girl owed them a relationship or sex.

“nah, but that’s not all, he threatened me, over (y/n)”

That made Uma pause, “(y/n)?? as in (y/n) Loxley?”

Harry nodded and continued “aye, he claimed (y/n) was ‘his’ and told me to stay away from her and id regret it if I didn’t”

Uma took a breath, thinking over the implications of what the boy said.

“so, there is a boy who is obviously obsessed with (y/n) and probably dangerously so”

Harry and gil stared at Uma as she muttered to herself.

“alright” the two boys sat up, Uma used her captain voice, when she uses that voice, you pay attention. “im going to ask (y/n) about this, she needs to know, so maybe she can put out a report on him or something like that.”

Harry nodded and reached over from Gil's lap, sneaking some of Umas coveted soda flavored jelly beans, snickering when he narrowly avoided a slap of his hand from Uma.

Drawing back he stuffed the beans into his mouth. Giggling at Uma slapping his shoulders.

“well~ you sure look comfortable~”

Looking up, Harry saw (y/n), staring down at him, grinning down and giggling.

Harry smirked and sat up slightly, grasping (y/n)s hand “im even more relaxed now that yer here darling~”

(y/n) rolled her eyes, withdrawing her hand from Harrys and plopping down next to Uma, who offered her coveted jelly beans.

“flirt, anyway I just came by to ask if yall wanted to play some video games with me?”

“sure,” Uma nodded, before remembering that she wanted to ask (y/n) about Aaron. “one question tho,” (y/n) hummed around her jelly beans and gestured for Uma to continue “do you know of a dude named Aaron?”

(y/n) groaned and flopped on her back, “yeah I know of him, he's a fucking creep, did he threaten one of you?”

“yeah, harry”

“uggg! Im guessing he claimed me as ‘his’, next time he does that shit, smack him for me.”

(y/n) had obviously dealt with Aaron before, and was tired of his shit.

Gil, sensing the tension in the air decided to cut it with bringing up the offer (y/n) made moments before, “so video game?”

(y/n) perked up, oh yeah! She sat up and grinned at the three teen pirates, “its called super smash bros, it’s a brawling game, its super fun! Do ya guys wanna play?”

The three glanced around at each other, before (y/n)s exited grin turned to a sneaky smirk

“winner gets to smack the loser with a plate full of whipped cream~”

The three teens jumped up from their spots and quickly packed up their stuff, eagerly following (y/n) back to her room to play.

An hour and a half later, (y/n) was filling a plate Uma was holding while Gil held Harry down as he screeched.

“Uma cheated!!! She cheated!! Im not letting her smash cream on meh face let meh go Gil!!”

Gil was just laughing as you topped off the plate and Uma grabbed the can and sprayed some into her mouth, before grinning down at Harry.

“nonononon AH!”

The three of you burst out laughing as Harry's face and hair was covered in the white substance, he made as ‘eeugh’ sound as he wiped his eyes and flicked his hands to remove the cream.

“yeh all suck”

“nah” (y/n) giggled, squirting some cream onto her finger, “you agreed to the consequences of losing and you lost! Fair and square!”

“whatever” Harry mumbled as he rolled his eyes, grunting he stood up from the ground and walked into the bathroom to clean up.

“so (y/n)” Uma asked, (y/n) smiled and hummed, looking over at Uma. “how long has Aaron been acting like that?”

(y/n) rolled her eyes and huffed, “since middle school, he had this idea in his head that we were made for each other. “

Uma nodded before something came to her mind.

“one more question,” (y/n) nodded, tilting her head “why are you being so nice to us, no one else is?”

(y/n) looked down at the floor of her dorm, before staring right into Umas eyes, speaking loud enough for gil and harry to hear her.

“I guess its because I know you’ve all had a shit life, and you deserve some kindness.”

Uma stared at the (h/c) girl for a moment, before she broke her gaze and looked down at the floor.

“Um, thanks…I guess”

(y/n) smiled and bumped Umas shoulder with hers. “no problem”

A few moments of silence, other than harry using the sink int the bathroom, then (y/n) spoke up once more.

“umm, I know we've been hanging out, but I was wondering if you guys would be willing to be friends?”

Harry poked his head out of the bathroom, the whipped cream now clean from his head. The three pirates looked at each other before a smirk overcame on Umas face.

“sure, but you can only join our group if you do one thing.”

(y/n) tilted her head, raising her brow “and that is?”

Uma cackled, the boys smirking, knowing what was going to happen.

“prank mal.”

…

They thought (y/n) would deny the deal, but once again she surprised them.

A devious smirk spread on (y/n)s face, already having a million pranks going through her brain.

“deal, when do you want me to do it?”

Uma cackled, ah they found they best Auradon kid ever.

“as long as it's within the week”

“I got one already, it'll be done by tomorrow morning”

“can't wait to see what yeh do lassie~!”

--end of part 3--

Comment or message me for part 4

[taylornock]

how cell phones made our lives better while simultaneously ruining them

hi fam!! it’s me, again. are you tired of hearing from me? me too. that’s why I’m here to rant about social media / phone / technology. bc i hate it… but in a loving way???

everyone remembers when they got their first iPhone. seriously. why is that such a monumental moment in our lives? i can hardly remember what i felt like freshman year of high school but can pinpoint the feeling of sheer glee unwrapping my iPhone 6 in eighth grade. i have this thing that is attached to me 24/7 - when I go anywhere (even downstairs) without my phone i feel weird. that is f***ing SAD! PATHETIC. i hate feeling that dependent on what is essentially a pocket robot.

for what it’s worth - phones have done INCREDIBLE things for the world as we know it. for example, this quarantine shit has been testing all of us; and our phones are helping us get through it in so many ways. our phones let us see the faces of those loved ones we are missing, our phones provide us with stupid tik tok content to keep everything light hearted, and our phones let us check in on each other. all amazing things! when we are at school, we have instant access to our lives at home . being able to call my mom whenever i want is something i definitely abuse. “mom, I’m on my way home from Thompson right now and i think i have a brain aneurysm but my bio final is at 11am tomorrow will i make it” … an actual conversation i had with my mom at the end of freshman year. needless to say i was medicated shortly after THAT meltdown. I am such a brat that i don’t know what i would do if i couldn’t text my dad and have him immediately get me the password again to our Uverse account…… god forbid i miss an episode of the bachelor. i have this phone, and that’s what i do with it? abuse its powers to ask my parents for medical advice or a password i forgot? have we lost sight of everything here?

throughout life and especially throughout quarantine… my phone is the definition of a possession that is a blessing and a curse. I’m so grateful to have the ability to bother my friends - whenever i want! the options are endless! i love keeping in touch with people i thought id never hear from again, and being able to talk to so many people in my life and make my heart swell. now, when a conversation with someone other than my two roommates (shoutout parents) is so rare ⎯ that phone is my weapon and i use it to help flatten the curve: flatten the curve of covid19 and flatten the curve of my mental illness 🙃 [humor is a coping mechanism okay let me live] but like, i KNOW i’m not the only one that looks at my screen time and immediately wants to die. how can i honestly be looking at my phone for that long? picking it up THAT many times?????? my phone is the best distraction and also the most toxic - it makes me feel better but has a tendency to bring up all my issues and blast them into the reflection of my blue light glasses...... its called fashion look it up.

to give some examples - let’s open up my most used app: snapchat. I go on snapchat with the best of intentions - to see a memory from a year ago that makes me smile. to respond to my friends and see what their mood today is based on the look on their face. to creep on snap stories and see what everyone’s cooking and doing with their lives. somehow, tho, after spending a few minutes on the app.. i end up with a pit in my stomach most of the time. the person i want to respond hasn’t responded in 4 hours. oh god lets overthink this- they don’t like me anymore and are no longer interested in speaking to me and only respond every once in a while out of pity or because they are uncomfortable. everyone hates you. oh and GOD FORBID someone leaves me on open??! I am not funny nor interesting nor worth a reply - suddenly, i have equated my value to receiving or not receiving a photo of someone’s blank stare. this is extreme, and this is dramatic. but trust me —— this is the hamster wheel always turning in my head. I’m not even going to touch on snap maps; that feature is pandoras box and someone better fucking shut it.

second most used app is instagram. i scroll for hours, i have time limits set for the app acting like i’m actually going to listen to them and get off. lmaooooooooo. i love looking at aesthetic stuff and dogs and food and recipes and my friends’ beautiful faces. but you know what i don’t like? constant nudges to compare myself to others. oh look at her having a party with all of her friends even though we aren’t supposed to be. am i a loser for trying to be safe? oh look at her washboard abs, i’m never going to look like that and will never live up to the standard of beauty society has set for me. look at all of these people in their happy relationships. why can’t i have that? it goes over and over and over. its not like i sit there and think of these things just like that, its a precedent in my mind when i stare at everybody else that i am going to size my own life up against theirs. for years i followed every single elite model / VS angel on instagram to motivate me to do better - to start being psycho about what i did to my body so i could be as gorgeous as them. what kind of fucked up mindset is that? i would literally watch their footage of them eating rice and vegetables once a day and try to copy it. i would watch their runway walks obsessively trying to recreate them in heels alone in my house - like that was all i could imagine doing with my life. did i ever stop for a second to look at that photoshoot of gigi hadid and wonder if she was happy? wonder if the constant pictures she saw of herself ever made her insecure? what was i doing? the day i unfollowed those girls was a monumental day in my journey to a better self image. i didn’t realize the people i thought were my “motivators” were actually my triggers. i have grown to a point in life now that i would much rather eat a stack of chocolate chip pancakes that make me dance in my chair like an infant than practice my runway walk and shame my body in the mirror. and i am so freakin happy! 

i could go app by app for hours. but moving on to the next thing i hate about cell phones - how they have destroyed our biological methods of communication. you hear about those psychos who think the world is destroyed by technology and we are going to be overrun by robots. but hey, I’m with the psychos on this one. i have this amazing friend, Trevor Wright, who without fail at EVERY dinner announces “phones off friends on” and collects our phones into the center of the table. yes, we are 20 year old adults. yes, we hand our phones over to Trevor and let him yell at us for trying to see if ~that person~ snap chatted us back. i have so much respect for him because of this. there is nothing worse than staring at your phones when you could be having a good conversation about life, about love, about laughter + memories, about “do you think hellen keller is real?” anything, bro, anything. anything but snapchat messaging your hoe of the week or mindlessly playing tetris to twiddle your thumbs. we all need to start loving a little harder, and the first step to doing that is to communicate better. communicate smarter. I’m guilty of alllll of the above, don’t get me wrong. and I am ADD asf and constantly playing mindless games just to stimulate my brain. but i need to stop that! even writing this is taking some time away from the dumb shit on my phone - and encouraging me to communicate how i     r e a l l y   feel to my homies that will read this. communication - especially body language - is fascinating. I’ve studied it in  psych, I’ve learned the neurological bases of behavior and why we do what we do. I’ve learned how much our life experience impacts who we are as a whole...and it! is! fascinating! i also think that’s why i love film so much. because it can capture the raw moments of your friends just being your friends, of you just being the person you are, and the world around you just existing as it exists. i love the raw moments; and not just because indy blue posted one youtube video of her slow mo laughing and now thats the only footage i find myself shooting. 😚

im not quite sure what this post is, lol. but - just a rant on technology. so listen to me:

take advantage of technology + social media! it CAN BE GREAT. for so many reasons. but, don’t let technology + social media TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU. stay true to you - know how to communicate with yourself and your loved ones without the use of a robot. remember that feeling when you setup up your first iPhone? imagine if you could feel that again, with your phone nowhere in sight. if you don’t know how to communicate with yourself yet, start by journaling. WRITE! TYPE! SPEAK! do what you want. getting your thoughts down even without an audience is so crucial to understanding yourself and others. if you don’t like to write, reflect. breathe. meditate. make art. do what makes you feel at peace, and do whatever makes you feel like the world makes a little bit more sense than it does. 

IF YOU ARE READING DOWN TO HERE, I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU, SAY IT BACK! LIFE IS A FUCKING HIGHWAY. AND IM SO GLAD YOU’RE ON MY INTERSTATE. <3

xoxoxoxo

gossip girl