#i feel bad for venting too despite knowing many look up to me

[ronkeyroo]

I’ve been really struggling with not hating my art lately, no matter what I do to try and improve it, i feel…Like a mediocre nobody, as though i lost my entire essence …it sets such a painful rift between everything i try to do with myself , with everything

[maybankswhore]

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈 𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐄𝐃 𝐔𝐏 𝐅𝐎𝐑.

summary: rafe overhears you talking to sarah about your feelings and wants to take care of you.

warnings: mentions of depression and anxiety , rafe eavesdropping , little bit of swearing

You sighed at Sarah’s hand rubbing your back comfortingly as your face hid itself in your hands to hide your puffy eyes and red cheeks. You looked like a mess— and you felt how you looked. Everything just seemed so overwhelming , and there was such much pressure on you from your family. There were so many feelings that you kept inside because you hadn’t wanted to feel like a burden.

“I’m just so tired all the time.” You ranted to Sarah , wiping underneath your eyes with the back of your hand. “I’m always so tired and so , so sad. Nothing seems to make it go away. I always feel this. . . this impending doom over me like something bad’s gonna happen. Like I’m going to fail and disappoint everyone.”

Sarah frowned. She definitely related that feeling and tried her best to figure out the right way to help you. Frowning , you pushed some hair away from your face. “Have you tried talking to Rafe?” Her face twisted up at the mention of her brother , but making sure to quickly wipe it away. Despite her own personal feelings towards him , Sarah knew that Rafe was good to you. The relationship he had with you was probably his only saving grace.

You shook your head at her. “No because Rafe’s not. . .” you struggled to find the right words. “Rafe shouldn’t have to deal with me like this. He already has so much on his own plate that a sad , depressing girlfriend should be the least of his worries. And I know he doesn’t like to see me cry because he feels too bad if he can’t make it stop.” You didn’t resent Rafe for not being the best person to talk to. You knew why he struggled with it and your stress shouldn’t fall onto his shoulders. You’d feel guilty adding on to everything else Rafe dealt with.

“Look I’m not the biggest fan of my brother,” Sarah muttered under her breath. “But I know that he cares about you , Y/N and he would want to be there for you. He’s your boyfriend—” she emphasized. “It’s kinda what he signed up for.”

As you cried , Rafe loomed around Sarah’s door. He didn’t want to eavesdrop , but he couldn’t stop himself from being concerned when he noticed your sniffles floating from the small crack in the door. Rafe wasn’t one to pry too much , too afraid it’d push you away. He felt his chest grow heavy as he listened to you vent to Sarah , hating you felt that way. He wanted to take every negative and sad thing in your brain and pluck it away. Store somewhere impossible to find and never feel again.

Pursing his lips , Rafe sighed as he knocked on the door softly to signal that someone was there. He lightly peaked around it , focusing on you. “Hey , baby. I’m home.” He smiled at you gently , feeling determined to try and be what you needed. Rafe wasn’t good at feelings but he would do anything for you and try again until he did it right.

You plastered on a fake smile when you saw him. Your heart warmed up just a little bit more at your boyfriend , feeling antsy to be in his arms. You mumbled a quick ‘thanks , sar’ before tapping her shoulder to walk out.

She gave you a smile in return , hoping that things would get better for you soon.

Rafe’s arm immediately snaked around your waist and pulled you to him and leading you down the hall. You tried your best to act normal , hoping that it was dark enough to conceal the mess you were sure painted across your face.

He waited until the door of his room closed before speaking. “You were crying.” Rafe’s thumb swiped underneath your cheekbone , a frown on his face.

“I know.” You whispered back. You grabbed his hand and kept it on your cheek , eyes fluttering closed at his touch. “’m was just sad for minute.”

“Sweet baby.” Rafe sighed , being gentle with his touch and words. His eyelashes fluttered against the apples of your cheeks when he leaned in to press a soft kiss to your face. “What’s wrong?”

As if his words were a trigger , tears started falling down your face. You threw your arms around his neck and just cried , shamelessly. You weren’t thinking of sounding stupid or crying in an ugly way. You weren’t embarrassed and you weren’t feeling guilty. You just cried. It felt good to finally feel it and not try and disguise it with other things. It felt good to feel Rafe’s arms tighten around you , the coos of him healing something deeply rooted in your soul.

You just wanted to feel comforted , and loved.

Rafe held you tightly as you did so , rocking you back and forth. The two of you stood there in the middle of the room with the only sound being the way you sobbed loudly in the crook of his neck. You didn’t even know what words could explain how you felt , so you didn’t even bother trying.

“My sweet girl,” Rafe mumbled into your hair. “Lay down with me.”

He easily slid the two of you backwards , quickly kicking off his shoes to get onto the bed. He left the covers tucked , his work clothes on— something he’d never allow any other time. All Rafe cared about was holding you so you didn’t feel so alone.

You let him move you towards the bed. He laid down flat while gripping at your hips , pulling you to straddle him. A sigh of contentment left your lips as you laid down , chest to chest , with your cheek against his cheek. It was so close that you felt the warmth of his breath on the side of your neck , sending shivers down your spine with each exhale. It was suffocatingly close— and just what you needed.

His hands rubbed your back as you calmed down , laying there next to him. The sound of his breathing was like a lullaby , shushing your nerves to sleep as you listened to it carefully. Your breathing pattern began to mimic his and you almost mistaked Rafe Cameron as some sort of drug you were warned about at school assembly’s.

“Thank you.” You breathed , after what seemed like hours of just laying there compared to the minutes it actually was. “I’ve just felt so overwhelmed lately. And everything’s making me sad. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to me.” Rafe stopped you , craning his neck down to look at you. He stared into your ears with scrunched brows , a finger to your chin. “Don’t ever apologize to me for that.”

“Okay.” You mumbled back. You grabbed his hand to kiss his thumb.

“It’s what I signed up for.” Rafe breezed it in , hoping you wouldn’t be mad at him. The air becoming light hearted when you rolled your eyes playfully and smacked his chest.

“You’re such a jerk!”

[snowyquokka]

cw: mentions of s/h scars, insecurities, hurt/comfort, soft chan, 3rd person fem pov, swearing, mentions of body worship, small caps on purpose (please let me know if i missed any)

wc: 0.7k

a.n - HUGE DISCLAIMER. please please refrain from reading if you’re sensitive to any of the topics above. this is meant to be a vent post and NOT glorification of s/h, mental illnesses, ect. feel free to scroll if necessary. and if you want/need to talk my dms are always open. i love you all <3

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

looking at herself in the mirror, y/n sighs. she ghosts her fingertips over the lines of scar tissue littering her outer thigh, each one a reminder of every time she’s struggled.

each one proof that she overcame them. that she survived.

even though she knows this she can’t help but critique them, and herself.

how could she have been so weak, so fragile that she let her thoughts and feelings consume her life so much to the extent that she broke.

fortunately for her, there had always someone there that picked up the shards of her soul that had been scattered around. he glued them back together with his love and overtime handed her heart back in one piece, almost as if it never was broken in the first place.

“hi baby,” chris greets as rests his chin on her shoulder, dragging her out of her thoughts.

“hey,” she mumbles, continuing to run her fingers over the length of a particularly large scar. her boyfriend’s hands move to hold her hips, afraid that if he lets go she’ll slip through his fingers.

“what did i tell you about that, hm?” his voice is low and gentle as he scans over her body. the same body that he quite literally worships, always reassuring her of his adoration.

y/n sighs and pinches her eyes shut so she doesn’t have to look at him as she replies, “criticizing them is almost as bad as creating them.”

chris pulls y/n closer before whispering into her ear, as if they weren’t the only ones in the room. “exactly. now look at me, baby.” y/n shakes her head, feeling too embarrassed.

“baby girl. look at me.” chris manages to keep his composure despite feeling about a dozen emotions at once. though, it’s not the first time she’s been like this and they both know that it won’t be the last. he’s never minded it, actually, and never will. he would rather her talk about her urges then act on them. however, he’d never let that happen as long as he’s alive.

y/n lifts her gaze to meet his in the mirror, watching as his lips curl into his familiar, warm smile.

“there she is,” he murmurs, “can i?” chris’s hand creeps down from her waist to her leg where her shorts are raised, her insecurities on display for him.

she nods as she leans back against his chest. she follows his fingers as they trace over the largest scar tainting her skin.

“no matter how many times i see them, i’m never going to stop loving them. loving you. but you know this already, don’t you baby?” y/n nods. of course she knows, chris doesn’t give her a moment to doubt- or even forget his words. and he never will.

“you’re strong, y’know that? you are so very strong. and i know you hate hearing it but it’s the truth. you persevered and even though it pains me to admit it, you did it all on your own. that takes guts, baby.” chris buries his face in her neck, placing soft kisses on the column of her throat.

they stay like this for a while: his arms wrapped around her as he sways back and forth. he finally breaks the silence after he turns her to face him. he cups her jaw before placing a soft kiss on her lips.

“c’mon. let me run you a bath, yeah? i’ll make you some tea too.” y/n nods and smiles at him.

“thank you,” she laces their fingers together.

“for what, baby?”

“for loving me,” chris frowns slightly and pulls her into a comforting embrace, engulfing her in his warmth.

“you don’t ever need to feel the need to thank me for that, okay? i’ll always be here.”

whoever said that you can’t love somebody else until you love yourself was a fucking liar. chris is walking proof of this

[theres-a-body-here]

Everything is green and submarine

Montgomery Gator x Male!reader

Fluff

"Can ya believe it?!" Monty growled out, his voice rumbling against your legs as he fumed where he lay across your lap.

"Kid picks that rust bucket over me for 'is birthday party," he continued to complain, arms waving wildly as he went on about the situation. His tail swished back and forth in agitation, occasionally thumping against the couch.

His voice was low and irritated, his words practically dripping with disdain towards Freddy. He shifted slightly on your lap, trying to get comfortable despite his bad mood.

The movement caused him to lean more heavily onto you, not even seeming to notice as he continued to complain under his breath.

Despite himself, however, he seemed to relax somewhat under your gentle pats to his head. The metal alligator even let out a low hum of contentment before catching himself and scowling again. "Just… ugh! How could anyone pick him over me?"

"Monty," you start off, speaking softly as you run your fingers through his mohawk. "You can't be everyone's favorite."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," he muttered begrudgingly, still gritting his teeth.

It wasn't fair, though; why did Freddy always seem to get all the attention?

Monty huffed quietly, glaring at nothing in particular as he tried to push down his frustration. He didn't want to take it out on you - after all, this wasn't your fault - but sometimes it just felt like nobody appreciated him enough.

And really, if he couldn't vent to you, who else would he vent to?

You were his boyfriend, weren't you?

So many thoughts ran rampant through his head, the sound of his internal fans whirring louder and louder as he struggled to sort through everything.

Wasn't he cool enough? Was he doing something wrong? Why did Freddy always get the spotlight?

All these questions flooded his coding, spinning round and round until suddenly, he felt your lips press against his snout.

"You'll always be my favorite," you whisper, apologetically. "I'm sorry I don't tell you that more often," you add, cupping his face and leaning in for another kiss.

Your words seemed to catch him off-guard, causing the alligator to blink slowly as he stared at you.

Then, hesitantly, he leaned into your next kiss, letting out a low purr. Even if he wasn't the most popular animatronic around, at least he had someone who loved him unconditionally. That much was clear in your gaze, the sincerity shining brightly within your eyes.

He nuzzled your hand gently, unable to help the purring from continuing.

"...Thanks, cher," he murmured, his tone softening.

He couldn't stay angry around you, especially when you looked at him like that.

With a heavy sigh, he sat up properly, leaning forward to wrap his arms around your shoulders and pull you into a hug. "Sorry fer bein' such a brat."

"I wouldn't love you any other way," you chuckled, nuzzling into his metal chest.

A warm feeling filled his core at those words, something pleasant blossoming within his wiring.

He squeezed you tighter for a moment before loosening his grip slightly, resting his chin on top of your head comfortably.

"Love ya too, cher," he replied softly, closing his eyes peacefully.

[shipmansflannels]

"who asked first" with the yellowjackets

yay! I'm back! the decision to open a new blog just for yellowjackets wasn't easy at all, but since it's been a year since this obsession has barely gone away and I already had an extremely confusing blog with layouts and the like, I wanted to start over with this one. hope you like it. I'll make a very simple and small prompt first, and then I'll make the masterlist and the oneshots/fanfics. stay tuned! sorry for any grammatical or coherence errors, english is not my first language and I'm trying to improve!

--------

who asked first with the yellowjackets girls...

jackie taylor.

well, if we're going to be honest here, you definitely asked first.

of course, jackie had already been rehearsing for weeks how he would ask you out. but she's obviously a girlfaillure, so you definitely asked first.

it was probably when she least expected it. it could be at soccer practice, or when you were coming home from school together and you had the audacity to ask her to go out with her to some hypothetical and boring place in the middle of the street… whatever.

all I know is that this little loser was eager for you to ask, and she definitely rolled out the classic, "took you too long…"

shauna shipman.

again, you asked first.

shauna doesn't have the social tact to ask you out (she's just like me), and drunk is even worse, so you actually had to make the first move most of the time.

just like jackie, it could have been when she was at soccer practice, or when she was alone enough to vent to her journal and you were able to get close to her without scaring her. anyway, the thing is, shauna was already secretly expecting this to happen (a lot of her journal pages were about you btw), so it wasn't a surprise either when you asked her out.

despite everything, you didn't have any difficulties on your first date. she's pleasant company, I suppose.

natalie scatorccio.

one of the rare exceptions where she asked first.

okay, don't be fooled, either. natalie is very cocky from time to time, but asking to go out with you is definitely one of the times she tends to weaken. so, kevyn probably dared her to do it and she just took advantage of her cooler personality to use it on you.

but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. in fact, it's kind of a good thing (and probably depressing for her) because she only felt like herself when she asked you. I see in nat a huge tendency to ignore some of her feelings, especially when it comes to people she likes.

the invitation was probably also full of teasing on her part, from body language to the words used for it. and somehow she made it look cool and convinced you to accept it.

things that only natalie scatorccio could do.

lottie matthews.

for some reason, I'm 100% sure you asked first.

I know many of us think of lottie as a completely carefree, liberal and often bitchy enough person to ask someone out on a date. but, if we count the pre-crash, I think she was a very insecure person and uncertain of her feelings, more due to the influence of the pills.

so, as incredible as it sounds, you asked first. it was in an extremely relaxed conversation between you that the invitation ended up unintentionally, and she was visibly panicked when she agreed.

lottie is probably the type of person who has a rehearsed speech in front of the mirror while getting ready, and with her enviable style and expensive clothes (some stolen), she would do anything to make your date the perfect date.

taissa turner.

she asked first.

taissa is confident enough to ask you out, I have no doubt about that. but she definitely spent weeks planning the perfect invitation, just in case everything went wrong and she needed to run (just like what happened when she thought about breaking allie's leg before nationals).

anyway, taissa would certainly ask first and it would be quite a surprise for you. taking into account that, from the moment you accepted, you would discover that van also knew about her friend's ideas, and later that half of the team also knew. it would be a shock because you wouldn't understand tai's intentions at first.

but none of them are necessarily bad. one, is that tai was really excited if you accepted, and her anxiety couldn't stop her from wanting to tell the world. two, because she was overly excited that you had agreed to go out with her, and wanted the world to know it as well.

van palmer.

as much as I would really like to prove otherwise, you asked first.

van has the same problem as lottie, but in her case, it's excessively because of the sarcasm jokes and high charisma. she thinks she's being too much for you and that asking for something like that on this level would end up scaring you away.

in the end, it's totally the opposite, but it's going to take van a long time to figure that out, specifically. the invitation would happen when she least expected it, probably when you were feeling confident enough to pass notes to her during classes.

it's a cute invitation, and one that van would hold in question for a long, long time.

misty quigley.

there would be no other answer. she asked first.

misty has no shame in admitting that she has a crush on you. and of course, to ask you out on a date, this shame decreases even more. she doesn't even care if she will be made fun of by her colleagues, what really matters is that she planned everything for you to accept.

and when I say everything, it really means everything.

from the moment she will slide up to your table and quietly ask if you accept, to the tone of voice she will use to persuade your brain to accept, to the place she will take you hand in hand and then let it slide. … she literally thought of every detail.

and, well, knowing misty quigley's ability to create plans, the whole thing worked out… until you figured it all out and admitted that you liked it even more, much to her surprise.

laura lee.

you asked first, of course. there would be no other answer either.

of course, not ruling out the possibility of laura lee asking first, given her hidden impulsive personality, but, in this case, taking the obviousness into account, you asked, and had to be careful with every line said in the invitation.

of course, it needed to be at a time when you were alone, because you were afraid that pressure from other people would make you feel suffocated. this, of course, did not happen. she thought it was a classic weekend outing, like you guys usually did, until she realized your real intentions.

and, truly, at no point did it make her feel restrained or scared. she was ready to be vulnerable and be herself around you, no matter what.

(but, if you casually ask lottie at some point, she will definitely claim that she saw laura lee rehearsing some speeches and compliments for you in the locker room mirror…)

[gojoidyll]

I was wondering...Aventurine's s/o who sometimes is misgendered as a man (fem! reader)

Any thoughts? 👀

I have many thoughts about this anon, some I would definitely like to share 🤭

Let's see, to me, if you're being misgendered and Aventurine just so happens to see it, then I can see it happening in the workplace, at the casino, or on a date.

But mostly at the workplace because lets face it, the IPC haven't exactly been painting themselves as the good guys lately 😐 and I can see a few of your coworkers being this way (be it new employees who do it by accident or stubborn old ones who are just plain rude).

"You should go ask him. He knows a lot about the subject and could help out with the project."

You weren't far away from the people who were having the conversation since you all were in the same office, and since it was such a small office housing only seven or so desks, it was easy to hear every single conversation and know who was talking about who.

"Thank you, I will!"

You didn't want to turn away from your computer despite the heavy thumps of footsteps coming up behind you. Instead, you tried to ignore it and continue typing away at your report. Your eyes heavy and focused on the computer as your fingers mercilessly hit the innocent keys.

"Sir? Excuse me, sir?"

You resisted the urge to groan aloud. This always happens. Mainly for two reasons. One, the stubborn fool who keeps misgendering you refuses to acknowledge that you're a woman. And two, the same stubborn fool insists to new employees of the IPC that you're a man and should be referred to as such.

And with a final tap on your shoulder, you sighed. Your feet planted on the ground as you swiveled your chair around.

"That's ma'am to you."

The new recruit was quick to fumble and bowed, "I'm sorry, ma'am! I was told that you could help me with- blah blah blah blah blah," you couldn't care about what he was saying. Not when your alarm went off, signaling your lunch break.

"Sounds interesting newbie, but if you'll excuse me, I'm going to lunch."

You didn't let the new employee get another word in as you got up and did a little stretch before walking out of the office while also being sure to ignore the smug looking bastard who waved at you while you left. Working in such a place exhausted you, and you hoped to hide your tiredness when you met up with the one person who made it all worth it. But...he noticed immediately the moment you sat down in his comfy couch in his own personal office.

He was already beside you when you sat down, and instead of grabbing his own food, his mesmerizing eyes bore into you.

"What's wrong?"

His voice always sounded tender when he talked with you, especially when he knows you've been having a bad day. He doesn't use his condescending voice or the voice he finely tunes to get people to like him. He is just ... being himself. Granted it's behind closed doors, but you were thankful that he didn't wear his bluff around you.

"It's...," to be honest, you've been dealing with this coworker for a long whilen now, and even though it's hurts being called something you're not, you thought you could handle it yourself. Though, lately, it's just been getting harder, "it's just this coworker of mine. He ... he keeps misgendering me. I know it sounds stupid and that I'm probably just being too sensitive but..."

"Name."

"Huh?"

"The name, give me the name of this coworker of yours," Aventurine said smoothly as he leaned into you, his arm slung around your shoulders as his fingers lightly twirled a strand of your hair between his fingertips. His warmth immediately engulfed you into a comforting embrace that you couldn't help but lean into. Despite being such a calculating person, he always had a way of disarming you and making you feel safe.

"Aven... it's nothing. I just, I just need to vent a little is all."

"Venting is great and all, but that doesn't solve the problem. Besides, who told you that you're being too sensitive anyway? Being hurt over something isn't something to be ashamed of. So, the name. Give it to me, and i can make it all better. Promise."

His tone held that usually lilt in his voice that scratched your ears just right. Honestly, he could be telling you the nightmares within a black hole, and you would be putty in his hands.

And so, with little resistance, you relinquished the name of the stubborn coworker who keeps giving you trouble. Granted, you did worry that you were getting special privileges since your boyfriend was in a higher station than you, but don't worry about that. You are Aventurine's significant other after all, there is nothing wrong with relying on him every once and awhile. ;)

[salty-croissants]

Bullfrog and Rayman/Ramon x reader on their period

Thank you @bullfrog-supremacy for the request !

I’m currently trying my best to finish up as many of these as I can , mostly because I’m disorganized as hell and let them pile up ;C; 

As soon as I’m left with a more reasonable number , I’ll open up my requests again for some time , promised ! 👍

Anyway , this is actually a pretty appropriate moment for me to write this one since … well , I’m currently living the topic of the prompt (,:

It’s actually very comforting to imagine how the cuties would take care of the reader at a time like this ://)

Hope it turned out okay ! 

Details : use of gender neutral reader ;

established relationships ; 

no warnings needed 

Bullfrog 💚

Like always , Bullfrog immediately notices that something is a little off about you , and he is quick to guess what is happening …

< Is it that time of the month , mon amour ? > 

< … yeah … don’t worry though , it just hurts a little , I can still help you with - > 

< Non non , that’s not necessary : what you need right now is to get some rest , you look very tired . > 

< Really ? Is that … okay ? > 

< Of course it is my dear ! You don’t worry about a thing , I will take care of you . > 

< Heh … thank you my love ~ > 

He really means it : 

even if he has to leave for a urgent mission , Bullfrog will exit your home only after he made sure that you’re comfortable and you have everything you need to help you relieve the pain , from blankets to warm drinks and medicine …

He just wouldn’t be able to bare the thought of knowing his y/n isn’t feeling well and he isn’t doing anything about it .

< Here , I made some tea , be careful though : it’s very hot . > 

< Thank you so much , Bullfrog … sorry for being a bit moody this morning by the way … it usually happens when I’m like this . > 

< Ne t'inquiète pas y/n , what matters now is that you take all the time you need to feel better : I will spend a lot more time with you once I get back , promis juré . > 

Bullfrog is going to be very careful when cuddling with you to avoid holding you too tightly and hurting you : 

if you don’t feel comfortable with being touched he will perfectly understand , and is going to be happy to just lie by your side while you rest . 

Even if you’re not feeling at your best , he really is just content with being with you ❤️

Rayman 🧡

Rayman feels bad about seeing his beloved in pain and not being able to take it away from you … it’s the worst feeling for him . 

However , you can be sure that he will do everything he can to help you get better , and that starts with making you lie down somewhere comfortable , either the couch or the bed .

< There you go , darling … take it easy , let me take care of everything , okay ? > 

< Okay … thanks Ray , I really needed this … ~ > 

< No need to thank me , it’s the least I could do for my beautiful y/n ~ > 

If you feel the need to talk about something , maybe even vent for a bit , Rayman is going to stay there and listen to you for as long as you need ( though unfortunately he needs to leave to attend his shows , so he can’t do this as much as he’d like ) .

If you ever feel ashamed about it , he is quick to put your mind at ease .

< Wait , how long have I been … ? 

Crap , I’m sorry , I shouldn’t have kept you here listening to my melodramatic speech about how this whole thing sucks … > 

< No no , please y/n don’t ever apologize for something like that ! 

How long have you listened to my rants about what those douchebags say about me at work ? > 

< Well , yeah but … that’s different … > 

< Nah , you deserve to be able to speak your mind too , especially when you’re with me . 

What kind of partner would I be if I didn’t even bother to hear you out ? > 

If you even just hint that you need something , anything , Rayman will rush off and then materialize by your side seconds later with just what you asked … it never fails to make you smile , despite the annoying and sharp feeling brought by your period .

< Hehe , wow , I literally just mentioned a glass of water and you already got it …

You’re always so sweet , Ray … I love you so much … ~ > 

< I love you too , honey ! ~

Trust me , if I didn’t need to head out for today’s shows I’d just stay here with you all day … > 

< Really … ? Even though I’m constantly bothering you and complaining about things … ? > 

< y/n , you could never bother me . It’s an understandable reaction , you’re not feeling well and it hurts , so please don’t feel bad about needing to talk about what’s wrong , okay ? 

I want to be with you all the time , especially when you’re not at your best : you’ve always been there for me after all , so it’s time I repay the favor . > 

< Ray … ! > 

You can’t help but lean forward to kiss him after he says those adorable things … 

Rayman truly is a sweetheart :,//) 

Ramon 🖤

Since Ramon is always determined to take care of you at the best of his abilities , when he realizes you’re on your period he will pretty much force you to get some rest , even if you don’t feel like it .

< Ram , please … I can help you with it if you let me get u - > 

< No . > 

< But - > 

< No , you need to sleep , I know you had trouble with it last night .

Now please … lie your head back down , honey . > 

Similarly to the past , Ramon is also insanely quick when it comes to providing you with what you need , no matter what that might be : 

you’re cold ? He shows up with as many blankets as he can carry .

You’re thirsty or would like something to eat ? He is going to bring you your favorite drinks and snacks .

Anything to make sure you’re as comfortable as possible .

< Thank you , Ram ~

 I would’ve gotten it myself , but it started to hurt again … > 

< Don’t worry about it , just tell me if there’s something else I can do for you , okay ? > 

Ramon loves to lay by your side while you rest , his hands gently holding you while he whispers sweet nothings in your ear … 

It’s his goal to make you feel appreciated , especially now that you’re not feeling too well .

< You really do mean everything to me , y’know … ? 

I promise you darling , I’ll do all I can to help you feel better . > 

< Heh … this is already helping me a lot , sweetie ~

I just … I love you so much … thank you for being there for me . > 

[tiredlilguy]

Hii! I hope you’re doing well in college :)

If it’s alright to do x reader, can you write about having a romantic relationship with the flags? I rlly liked your hcs so I thought to make a flags request ! Here’s some questions to help you out

-Can they cook? - Are they affectionate? -Cuddling, big spoon or little spoon? -Are they good at comforting you?

If you do not want to do this request, you do not have too! Please take your time I don’t mind!

ASDLFJAHLSDKJFHLAKDSJFH i had to pick this one up immediately despite me having so many drafts. im boutta eat this shit up, the flags are actually literally my favorite. ty for requesting this (ノ・∀・)ノ this is very long... it's 6 pages on my document right now...

pairing(s): The Flags (separately) x GN!Reader cw: slightly suggestive for iceman and chuuya's, not proofread desc: romantic hc's with the flags, the real question is though, can albatross cook? (spoiler: no, he can't)

Pianoman:

he’s always busy, but strangely enough, whenever you ask, he’s always free

for some reason, whenever you’re in the room you’re like… the only thing on his mind and he forgets whatever he was doing before

I can see pianoman being a huge sweetheart for some reason

like… He’s the leader of the Flags, but at the same time he kind of acts like a care-taker a little bit

he just cares very deeply for his comrades and you, of course

his love languages are quality time and acts of service, but he likes to receive physical touch

this man is touch starved, so please give him a little hug when he’s stressing over deadlines and being hard on himself (since he’s a perfectionist)

speaking of physical touch: he LOVES back hugs, receiving them and giving them

he’ll be looking over at some copies of fake notes that he was working on with a frown on his face and -oh- there’s his sweet little bug squeezing him so much that he completely forgot what he was doing (he doesn’t care though, he loves you)

he’s only really affectionate when you both have a moment alone, but he won’t complain if you want a kiss or for him to hug you for a moment

when you two are alone though, he likes to give you surprise kisses or hugs; tends to be really clingy sometimes depending on how tired he is, but if you want space, he’ll listen to you

I feel like sometimes though, if he does initiate PDA, he likes to tease you: if you’re sitting on his lap, he’ll put a hand on your thigh, but then it’ll slowly trail up a little bit higher when he thinks your not paying attention, if he puts his head on your shoulder while you’re talking to someone, he might leave butterfly kisses on the side of your neck

he likes to tease you for sure, and isn’t satisfied until your a tomato…

nicknames for him… I think he’d use nicknames that are a little dorky because he likes to embarrass you, saying: “love bug” or “hot stuff” or “steady” (really old ass, from the 50’s nicknames)

“ You know, (Y/N) likes to call me studmuffin,” he brags to Chuuya, nudging the poor boy on the elbow.

“ Please leave me alone.”

I had to make the stupid reference… im sorry LMFAO

but when he’s feeling a little romantic, he’ll call you “honey”

he’s definitely good at comforting you, considering that he literally drops everything just to pay attention to you

will study every detail on your facial expression the moment that you walk in the room, but if you’re in a bad mood he won’t push you

gives you a back hug and a small kiss on the side of your head and asks if you’re ok and if you want anything

listens if you want to vent, or will leave you alone if you want. Anything you need? He’s there to take care of you.

just want to cry and lay down for a bit, that’s fine with him. He’s not the best singer, but he tries to hum to you

can he cook? He can, but I can also see him just preferring to order take out

at the end of the day, he tends to just be really tired, so cuddling up on the couch with you and some take out is enough for him (if you cook, even better, but he might want to help because he feels bad)

he’s a big spoon

when I saw that question I was like: How does this man sleep? In my brain, he’s a side sleeper, and he’d prefer to be the big spoon

when he’s drifting off to sleep, he likes to whisper sweet nothings to you

though, does he sleep? No not really, you have to drag him way from his desk and if he doesn’t budge just kiss him on the forehead and tell him to join you (he’ll end up joining you like 5 minutes later)

in conclusion, sweet bf, but also busy and tired (please give him forehead kisses)

Lippman:

Lippman is romantic as fuck

like you cannot tell me he’s got the rizz, Doc literally said he has a silver tongue (what else that tongue do *cough*)

he’s always holding your hand in his

his hands are very warm and gentle, and when he holds yours, he’s holding it very gingerly, not tugging too hard and only squeezing your hand to comfort you

love languages are gift giving and physical touch, he loves receiving words of affirmation

being an actor with may fans abroad, he hears a lot of praise from others, but none of their words mattered nearly as much as yours do

like you could just be complimenting him on how he styled his hair one day, and it’s like… the only thing he’s talking/thinking about

early on in your relationship together, he was quite shy actually: didn’t really initiate affection because sitting next to you made him feel nervous, but one day you grasped for him hand and now he just never let go

like I’m telling you, if you two are at home, he will not let go of your hand (even when he’s cooking)

speaking of cooking, he’s an amazing cook, but he’s also (similar to pianoman) busy as hell

he often likes to cook with you, enjoying your presence and closeness as you both work together to make a nice meal

he’s fine with PDA, but only if it’s PG… like he gets shy kissing you on the lips in public, but he’ll hold your hand (because he loves your hands :) )

if you initiate PDA, he won’t complain though

he’s far too shy to tell you no, and he also enjoys making you happy

seeing you happy makes him happy

nicknames for you are old romantic, but not in a dorky way. He likes to use nicknames in a different language sometimes: “mon cherié”, “cariño”

he also definitely uses “darling” and if he’s in a more excited mood, he calls you “sunshine” or “my flower”

“ There’s my pretty sunshine!,” he’d smile, as you’d run up to him and give him a hug.

comfort from him is >>>

he seems shy, but when he gets worried about you, he sort of goes into mom mode

he’s a little pushy, but if he notices you’re upset, he stops immediately

will hold you if you’re upset, and he has a sweet voice, so hearing him talk or sing will calm you down immediately

after comforting you, he’d take care of you for the rest of the day

you have work to do at home? No, you don’t, he’s going to make you tea and tell you how well beautiful you are

I can see him being very strict about his sleep schedule

he cringes at the thought of himself having wrinkles because he slept the wrong way, so he tries to go to bed at a certain time and wakes up at a certain time (mafia orders and job stuff are an exclusion though)

sometimes he goes to sleep earlier than you do, but he doesn’t mind if you interrupt him to crawl under his arms

for him, he definitely prefers to face you his sleep: he can see you face when he wakes up and nothing will make him happier

if he’s really tired though, he might like burying his head in your chest as your massaging his head with your hands

he’ll let out a soft groan before falling right to sleep

he doesn’t mind holding you either though: you being the little spoon or resting your head on his chest

likes to kiss your eyelids before he goes to bed ;;-;;

soft romantic bf, can be shy, but he tries this best to make you happy

doesn’t care just as long as there’s a smile on your face

Iceman:

Iceman is very much a lone wolf, but with you it’s “I literally hate everyone else, but I will give the world to you”

he can and will kill for you, rest assured you are very protective

though despite his rough exterior, he’s a kind man

honestly, he doesn’t really care so much for PDA, but he gladly accepts any form of affection you give him

he’s most likely not the one that initiated it, but the only time’s he does is if he’s talking with the others: he often gestures for you to come over to sit on his lap (and you do so, because who would say no-)

or if he doesn’t initiate PDA, it’s usually out of jealousy or to show people that your his

like let’s say you’re talking with someone for a bit too long, he’s probably going to slide a hand on your waist and giving you a soft kiss on the cheek, telling you that you both have to leave (you got no where to go, he’s just wants you attention instead-)

this man has the best kisses, like if anything those are what make your heart flutter the most

it doesn’t matter what kind of kiss he gives you: one of the cheek, a short peck, etc, it still makes you feel somewhat flustered and a tomato (which he grins at)

he doesn’t seem like the type, but he likes to tease you in more of a subtle way.

You were putting on a pair of pants and adjusting them at your hips: zipping up the front zipper and button. You then reached over to the side to find a belt, only to realize that it wasn’t there. Suddenly, hands slipped around your waist and you realized that Iceman was doing you belt for you.

“ These pants compliment your waist quite well,” he whispered gently into your ear. It almost sounded like a bit of a growl. You felt your chest flutter as you let him do his thing. Though before anything else happened, he buckled your belt together and slipped his hands away, walking away as if nothing happened.

nicknames for you are simple. He doesn’t want to do anything more ambitious and he feels proud that he can call you simple nicknames: “love” and “babe” or “baby”

those nicknames make you feel flustered either way… so I mean

He notices you trying to reach something that was on the top shelf, but stops you. Getting you off the counter, and reaching for it himself,” Let me help you, Love.”

he’s the kind of man that lana del ray writes in her music *cough*

he LOVES YOUR WAIST: he’s always touching it

sometimes he’ll place a gentle hand on the side of your waist while passing you, he’ll take any chance he can to pick you up by the waist (and sit you down on the kitchen counter *cough*), slow dancing with his hands resting just a top your hips while you both listen to his old records

he’s just… always touching ur waist all the time

likes to do a lot of the heavy work for you like if you’re moving something large, or carrying bags

he only does it because he knows you’re entirely capable, he just doesn’t want you to ever lift a finger if he’s around

love languages are physical touch and acts of service

he’s a sweet comforter, but he most likely doesn’t say much

he’s always listening and he’ll do whatever you ask of him, but he just prefers actions over words

will hold you until you fall asleep if you were crying, he wipes your tears too :(

will not feel rested until your completely asleep next to him

the way he holds you is definitely you laying on his chest with your ear to his heart while he’s lying on his back with an arm slung around your waist

definitely does that really sweet thing where he’ll caress your side in circles

he smokes before he goes to bed, but if it bothers you, he’ll stop (or just smoke outside)

always makes sure that before he leaves for work that you’re awake (even if you’re half-awake), happy, and with a cup of tea/coffee

conclusion: lone wolf kind of lover aka everything that I want *cough*

Doc:

I feel like in a romantic relationship to him, there are very few moments where it seems romantic to the public eye

though in between you two, I can see it being very shy love

he tends not to initiate much affection, but you can quite literally see it in his eyes that he’s begging

at first, it seemed rather creepy and you thought he didn’t like you all that much, but in reality he was just silently asking for your attention

Doc is the kind of person that stands… really really close to you, so much that you’re a little bit uncomfortable and when you turn around and look at him, he smiles

he doesn’t initiate PDA at first, allowing you to show affection

he loves receiving head pats from you, it makes him feel proud of himself

though, when he started getting comfortable between the two of you, he likes to lay on you

like I’m talking… laying on your thighs, head on your shoulder, he likes to lean on you

since he’s rather sickly, he tends to be really cold quite often, so to him, you’re his personal heater

isn’t one to kiss you on the lips unless he’s feeling really passionate: a kiss on the cheek or on the forehead is enough for him

usually prefers to receive affection then give it, BUT he’s working on it, and for now standing next to him is enough

love language is very much quality time

he just likes to sit next to you, even if you’re not touching or saying anything

the silence with him is always comfortable with him, doesn’t matter what you’re both doing

the nicknames that he uses are really simple, but weird, yet strangely sweet like “happy pill” or “bug”

As he enters your room, he crosses his arms as he looks around for you. “ Hey, where’s my happy pill…WOAH-!”

You quickly tackled him into a hug. Though not hard enough for him to fall over. Doc let out a small smile as you hugged him albeit a little roughly.

his comforting doesn’t really come out very often

for example: let’s say you get injured

he’ll turn into a completely different person, rather serious and focused when he’s treating you

but if you are in pain, he’ll be holding onto you gently as he’s trying to patch you up

he hushes you if you wince from the pain

can he cook? Nope, and he doesn’t really try to either

because he’s a doctor, he tends to be busy and doesn’t really have much time to take care of himself

so either his subordinates deliver food to him, or you deliver him food (which he’s very grateful for)

I can see him being the kind of person who sleeps on his back, or on you… like from earlier

he’ll very easily fall asleep on your lap if you hand is touching his hair, but to be honest he’ll sleep anywhere

this man does not sleep, so if you offer your shoulder for him to lean on, he’ll most likely knock out

he takes naps anywhere… sleeps anywhere, so it’s quite hard to get him to sleep in a bed

anyways, if you’d like to sleep next to him, he usually lifts his arms so that you can nuzzle into his side as he lies on his back

if you’re too scared to be near him though, he might just hold your hand as you both fall asleep next to each other

he likes watching you sleep though, so sometimes he’ll just prop himself up on a pillow with a book while holding your hand in his other

in conclusion: he’s a quiet and sweet lover

Albatross:

PUPPY LOVE PUPPY LOVE PUPPY LOVE

he quite literally follows you every where

you’re going to the store? Ok, he wants to take you for a ride on his motorcycle. You’re going to go get some coffee at that cafe downstairs? He’s already throwing on his jacket. You’re just getting up to go get another snack? Well, he’s not going to let you leave his arms, so up he goes with you.

he’s always hugging you, doesn’t matter what you’re both doing

greets you with a hug, says goodbye with a hug, will just… hug you if you’re standing within proximity of him

I can also see Albatross taking his little furry jacket vest thing and putting it on you, as well as his sunglasses

no, you cannot argue with him, he’s going to do it anyways if you’re both having a casual moment together

as you can see from just now, he LOVES PDA

he loves to receive it, loves to give it

he’s always holding your hand, or waist, or has his head on your shoulder or on top of your head if you’re standing in front of him, is always hugging you

once again, no you cannot argue with him, he will probably cry, you haven’t tried to argue with him though… but you have a feeling that he would cry

sometimes you tend to forget that he’s behind you, and someone will end up pointing it out (usually Chuuya… the other Flags are used to it)

he lets you braid his rat tail and doesn’t take it out until you do, and you only take it out if you want to redo it

love languages are physical touch and quality time, he loves to receive physical touch back (please hug and kiss him, he enjoy it even if it’s a small thing)

can and will take you out for his midnight drives and shenanigans

once dragged you out of bed so that you could both go to the beach and run into the water (you were both still in your night wear, but seeing him laughing and smiling made you happy too)

he likes driving a lot faster than normal just so that you can cling onto him, his makes butterflies go absolutely HAM in his stomach

nicknames for you are cutesy, he doesn’t really like traditional nicknames and sometimes they remind him of Lippman and it makes him cringe

he likes to call you “Dumpling” or “Marshmallow”… maybe he’s just hungry, I don’t know

“ Dumplin’, can you pass me the wrench that’s in that toolbox next to you over there?”

speaking of wrenches, he feels happy whenever you visit him at his garage

you can just sit there and listen to him talk for hours on end while he fixes things up

he leaves his toolbox next to you on purpose just so that you can hand it to him

I can imagine that if you hand him a tool and he’s laying on his back under a car on one of those rolley cart things

instead of reaching out for it with his hand, he’ll quickly roll up and take it from you, but not before swiping his stained hand on your cheek and giving you a quick kiss

he’s just silly… and he likes to give you little form of affection

DO NOT LET THIS MAN COOK OH MY GOD

he may be great at cars and boats and planes, but do not let him cook

he will somehow find a way to burn the kitchen by just touching the pan with the stove off

though despite being a shitty cooker, he’s a big foodie

he loves to eat literally everything and tries new things because he heard a review

if you bring him to a new restaurant, he’ll be taking photos of his food and be reviewing it as he eats it

I can see him sleeping sprawled out on the bed, if you join him, he’ll unconsciously cling onto you like a magnet

he’s a pretty deep sleeper, but he’s always looking for you in his sleep

if you leave, he’ll whine and try to look for you even if with his eyes closed

in conclusion: he’s very much in his puppy love era, and his face is always red when he’s talking to you… he’s a blushy boy around you

Chuuya:

he’s very much a tsun, so it might be quite hard for him to get close to you, or even show affection

though, just know that despite how much he acts like he doesn’t like your affection, he recretly loves it

he fell first and harder mind you

he treats you like literal royalty behind closed doors though

Chuuya’s not really one for PDA, and he’s not going to initiate it under any circumstance

the only reason is because he has a tendency to want to continue to show his rough exterior out in public

he can get kind of awkward if you initiate it, but will relax into it after a while

though, when he greets you in public he’s a gentlemen: he’ll even kiss your hand and lead you places by the hand sometimes

though that’s about it

behind doors though, he’s… so clingy

bike the moment that you close the door, he already has his arms around your waist

if he kisses you anywhere, it’s on your neck, and he does it in the most dramatic way possible

he’ll take one of your hands in his as he’s behind you and he’ll let out a short breathe on your neck before kissing gently

don’t get him wrong though, he still loves to kiss your lips

if anything, he’s addicted to your taste

love languages are gift giving and acts of service

I just know this man will literally get you anything just to make you happy

expensive jewlery? No problem, baby. You want that coat that’s over a thousand dollars? It’ll be in your closet in a couple of days.

this man is loaded so… (MAKE HIS POCKETS HURT)

he definitely does a lot of things around the house if he’s not busy

the moment that he’s home, all house chores as his now and if you argue with him, he’s going to sit you up on the kitchen counter and uh… yeah.

anyways, he likes to help around the house when he can: if you made dinner, he’s doing the dishes. Even if he made dinner, no, sit down, he’s still going to do the dishes

he simply just doesn’t want you to lift a finger and wants you to sit pretty on the couch and enjoy yourself for a moment

speaking of cooking, yes… he can cook and he’s REALLY good at it

he had no former way of teaching himself other than wanting to find a new hobby, and oh my god if the dishes that he makes aren’t literally amazing

he enjoys cooking dishes that go well with his wine depending on what he felt like drinking from his collection

nicknames that he uses are simple and easy, but they get to the point. He’ll use nicknames like “doll” or “sweet stuff”; not as simple as ice man, but he likes them

He wraps his arms around you as you were cooking dinner,” How was your day, doll? Whatcha makin’?”

I can see him comforting a lot similar to iceman

he’ll listen quietly to literally anything you ask

if you want to be held, he’ll lay down on the couch and hold you in his arms as you’re laying down on top of him

will use his ability to make you both float away from the surface for a moment: something that he used to do that always calmed him down

he likes to caress your hair, so let him when he’s trying to comfort you.

if he’s sleeping with you, he’s definitely a spooner and he is the big spoon

he snores for sure, but he never loosens his grip if he’s holding onto you

sweet boy (-w-)

[plus-i-miss-you]

I LOVED THE OREKOTO AND MIKOTO HEADCANONS AUUAU!!! If it's not a bother, could you pls write a prisoner gn!reader comforting mahiru, fuuta, mikoto and amane after t2? Sorry if this is too vague !!

Seeing them all tired and beat up made me miserable... they deserve a kiss on the forehead or smth

▷ listening to:

"but i still forgive you" (gn!reader)

⇆ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤㅤ↻ ılıılıılıılıılıılıㅤ

♪ note: HI HI ELI so sorry this request has been gathering dust in my inbox for more than a month.. i really wanted to write this but life be life-ing.. i really enjoyed writing this and i hope you enjoy reading this too! (also so sorry if i sound weird but i'm assuming you meant comforting them after t1? ^^'')

♪ summary: es may have done some.. pretty strange decisions and now not only the guard and the guilty prisoners, but everyone has to deal with it, including you. you can't help but feel bad for the guilty ones, and hopefully, you can offer them at least some kind of support.

♪ warnings: description of fuuta and mahiru being in pain because of their injuries, the reader character doesn't know about mikoto and john being a system, but still treats them as respectfully as possible, mentions of cults and religious trauma in amane's section. fuuta, mahiru and mikoto parts can be seen as both romantic and platonic, meanwhile amane's part is strictly platonic.

fuuta kajiyama.

♪ fuuta was.. in terrible condition, to say the least. his personality was so different from the fuuta you knew, too. sure, you've met him not so long ago, but seeing him act like this felt.. weird. you actually kinda missed the old fuuta, yes, he was kinda rude, loud and said things without thinking, but you'd prefer that than seeing fuuta in pain and not being able to say a word. you wish you could help him somehow, but.. what could you do? you doubt that convincing es to forgive him is possible..

♪ you tried to support him at least in an emotional way, even though you knew that might not work. it's highly possible he won't be able to see with his right eye ever again, of course, that's extremely traumatizing. he also got beat up by kotoko out of all prisoners, who actually seemed to be similar to him in a way. but you told him that if fuuta wanted to talk to you about anything, like complain about something or vent, he could always do that. fuuta found your kindness weird and even suspicious at first, but.. fine, he could use a friend in a situation like this. or at least a person who could hear him out.

♪ fuuta finds himself coming to you more often than he thought he would. it's not like he has that many people to talk to here anyway. he's grateful to kazui (even though he doesn't want to admit it), but.. he's not sure if there is anything he can talk to him about. haruka and muu are really close now, it honestly feels like haruka has forgotten about everyone else. oh, but surprisingly, fuuta's been getting along with amane lately- what do you mean, you "have a bad feeling about this", y/n?.. 

♪ you will never actually hear this from him, but you can feel that fuuta is glad to have someone like you here. he looks calmer with you around and if he can't open up to anyone else about something, at least he can open up to you. it's easier for him to fall asleep when you're next to him, so you may find him suddenly doing so with his head on your shoulder or your lap. just, uh.. be prepared for him to be really flustered when he wakes up and sees you.

mahiru shiina.

♪ she's honestly surprised that you want to spend time with her and help her feel better despite her being voted guilty. she immediately starts joking (or maybe half-joking?..) about falling in love with you because of your kindness and you just roll your eyes and ask if she's okay and if she's in any pain. you remind her to take her medications, you ask shidou for help if her condition gets worse and you help her move around with her wheelchair, so that she doesn't feel isolated from the rest of the prisoners. being in milgram is already isolating enough.

♪ you try to help her feel better by doing things that are small and simple to you, but very meaningful to her. you brush her hair, you paint her nails (even if you can only do so on one hand for now..), you tell her that she still looks beautiful, and every time you do that, it makes her smile. it's still different from that usual smile of hers, but it's a smile that shows even though she's still suffering, she appreciates you being around. 

♪ mahiru doesn't understand why you're still helping her. is this because you love her?.. ah, please forgive her, that's just her being her usual silly self. but still.. she wasn't forgiven, right? that means she was in the wrong.. but she doesn't understand what made es vote her guilty. all she did was love her boyfriend a lot, right? does that mean that her love itself is a sin?.. is she not allowed to love at all?.. you gently interrupt mahiru and say that you don't know why es refused to forgive her, but you personally don't think mahiru's love is a sin at all. in fact, it's a blessing.

♪ mahiru feels like the sun itself personified to you and you hope that she gets better soon, but you're also grateful for the opportunity to take care of her like this. she always gives so much love to everyone, you wonder how much she gets back. you softly pat her head while making sure it's not painful considering her injury and ask what she wants to do today, but it takes a while for mahiru to answer because of your words still ringing in her head, but in a good way.

amane momose.

♪ .. so why exactly es decided to vote a child guilty? you know you probably shouldn't say anything about the guard's decisions, but.. this just doesn't make any sense to you. just what did es see in amane's video? or maybe something happened during the interrogation? amane's behavior has changed a lot, but you don't blame her for it. of course she would start acting differently. she's a 12 year old who was voted guilty and almost got beaten up by kotoko, kotoko ending up not doing anything to her was honestly a miracle. of course she would be mad. she should be.

♪ you try to talk to her and she kinda ignores you at first. however, you're not as bad as shidou, so.. fine, maybe she can hang out with you a little bit. it's hard not to feel sorry for her though, because of how messy her hair is and how empty her eyes are. you try to cheer her up somehow, like maybe you can do something really cute with her hair or maybe you can cook something for her (while still respecting her dietary restrictions and not forcing her to eat something she's not allowed to).. amane finds your attempts to become closer with her strange, but.. maybe she could use some company.

♪ every time she mentions her "god" around you though, you try to change the topic. you like amane and you genuinely want this kid to get better, but you're not really feeling like becoming a part of a cult.. amane just sighs and says you'll understand it someday. sometimes you catch her mumbling something about being forgiven this time and es needing to make the correct judgement. you can't really help her much when it happens and you can't do anything other than say that es will definitely forgive her, but amane manages to turn even something simple as that into rambles about her god. you can't help but wonder what amane's life used to be like.

♪ you can't convince amane that her family wasn't as kind as she thinks they were. you can't convince her that the way she was raised was too cruel. you know she won't believe you. and you know you're not a therapist. but at least you can be her friend. at least you can gently guide her, while still giving her a choice, so that she feels more free. more free than she possibly ever was in her life. and even though amane never talks about it, she does appreciate it. she feels strangely warm when you're around. she wonders if it's okay to feel this way and if god would ever forgive her for that. 

mikoto kayano.

♪ you didn't know why mikoto suddenly started to act like this. you tried to get at least some information from others, including es, but nobody gave you a proper answer, even though you had a feeling like kotoko and es know what's going on. for some reason, this mikoto just didn't.. feel like mikoto to you. it's like it was.. different mikoto? no, that doesn't sound right. it felt like it was a completely different person. you couldn't prove it and when you tried to say it out loud, it sounded weird, but.. it felt like a correct answer to you. 

♪ when it felt like it was the mikoto you knew, you always made sure to tell him what's going on, what happened, basically all the information he needed. he always looked so lost and confused, you couldn't help but feel sorry for him. you assumed that it was probably because of the trauma related to being voted guilty. you actually couldn't understand es's decision at all. just why would they vote someone like mikoto guilty? was his video really that bad? it didn't feel like mikoto was pretending to be less smarter than he is. why would he even have to do that? you all are murderers here, there's no reason for him to try and trick anyone.

♪ when it felt like it was someone else, you still tried to treat him with kindness. you couldn't understand why everyone started to avoid this person so suddenly. yes, this person was.. quite different from mikoto, but.. maybe at least they could try to accept him? you actually found it surprising how quickly he calmed down after you showed him that you don't intend to hurt him or mikoto. maybe this was the only thing he needed: someone telling him that he's safe and that he's not in danger. or maybe it was something they both needed.

♪ both mikoto and this person seem to actually like you a lot.. well, it's not like they have much of a choice here, considering that other prisoners don't really want to spend time with them. but it looks like they don't mind it that much. yes, mikoto is definitely still worried about it and he doesn't seem to remember what happens when the other person is here, but the other guy doesn't really care about the other prisoners and the only thing that bothers him is how possibly dangerous they can be. and even though he still has his suspicions.. you don't seem that dangerous to him.

[miraculousdeservesbetter2024]

MAJOR Revelation & Collusion salt/vent incoming:

Look, I’m sorry if I’m misunderstanding something here, but I really dislike these episodes.

Why? To me, it seems like that guy is using Gabriel (the main villain and known terrorist of Miraculous) as the main "mouthpiece" for the fans who have the gall to take up for Chloe or call out her bad character portrayal (“You have a wonderful life, power, wife and a daughter”).

It also feels like the exact same thing when it came to Lila in Revelation, using the whole “Chloe is capable of change” speech for her own advantage, similar to what she tried to do with Marinette in Chameleon with the whole "friendship and not fighting over a boy" speech. It’s like he’s using them both as mouthpieces to represent the fans who still think Chloe can change or has potential.

So basically he's saying "Only psychopaths think that. You should listen to Marinette when she says Chloe is incapable of change because she’s the protagonist, and you shouldn’t listen to Lila and Gabriel when they say that Chloe can change because they’re the antagonists!”.

It’s really frustrating because any other time, we are made to feel sorry for Gabriel despite everything that he’s done, now we shouldn’t listen to him??? This is really disappointing to think about because he’s ruining Marinette's character this way. I still like Marinette and I really do think she deserves better, but I’m starting to see why people are starting to dislike her. She's becoming ANOTHER Thomas self-insert (on top of the MANY he already has in the series). The guy loves himself TOO much, don't you think?

I'm going to be completely honest here. As a Marinette fan, I still think the way SOME critics go about describing/criticizing/disliking Marinette and her character isn’t necessarily correct, but I must say that it’s still understandable. This guy is basically making her into his own personal mouthpiece, making S5 Marinette’s portrayal the worst as it has ever been 😓

Which is really a letdown because I love Marinette. It’s Chloe’s “Darnation arc” all over again. He’s ruining characters and development just to push his own morals and fill his own ego to the brim and it’s a shame.

And before anyone says:

“Geez! I swear to god people act like they know Chloe more than her own creator!” 🙄

Maybe your right, but MAYBE it wouldn’t of turned out that way if the show wasn’t so inconsistent and contradicting all the time! This is another reason why I think people have so much animosity towards characters like Andre, because the story portrays him as the victim “this entire time” who only got into politics to please his father and Audrey, pretending that he was never a corrupt politician on his own free will. It’s questionable because…he made his own bed. He choose the life that he has now, to have a child with a despicable woman, choose to spoil Chloe rotten, not to discipline her when she was being rotten to other people, and choose to not be there for her for emotional support.

I’m not saying that Chloe bares no blame at all, but it’s not ENTIRELY her fault just because “she’s her own person”. There is such things as bad parents & bad role models 🙄 You don’t have the right to give up on your daughter, saying things like “you have a terrible/cruel daughter” or “you tried everything in your power to help” when all you really did from the beginning was enable her, let her make everyone’s lives miserable and not be there for her like your should have. Yeah, she’s horrible, but at least she has the excuse that she’s a child. Your not only a grown man, but her father.

This goes for other figures in her life also (Audrey, Bustier, her butler, heck, even Ladybug to a degree). People are right, not everybody is responsible for holding her hand through redemption/reformation (and I agree) and to coddle her every time she does something wrong, but to say that “they’ve tried everything/their best”…just isn’t true. It’s more of an excuse to give up on her. Then JUST SAY THAT instead of trying to convince everybody that you did everything that you could.

Enabling =/= Helping.

[doumadono]

EMERGENCY REQUEST

hello ! ok so im feeling a bit embarrassed for making this request but like lately ive felt like there is something missing in my life yet i can't find out what it is . everytime i feel joyous , i know that later on i would mourn that moment because time is running . no matter what pace i want time to go on time will keep on running as fast as it can . it's only a matter of time until it finally catches up to me and ill perish . sorry for the sudden vent but like yeah muzan comforting reader about this ? thank you 🎀

Muzan & gn!reader feeling bad about passage of time - headcanons

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST

It's not often for you to come to the Infinity Castle, but your many pleas have persuaded Muzan to agree, allowing Nakime to teleport you to his place.

Despite the incongruity of a liaison between a demon king and a human being, Muzan harbors sentiments for you. He consistently aids you whenever the need arises, even though an alliance between a demon and a human seems implausible.

Muzan's presence is as imposing as ever, his crimson eyes gleaming in the darkness of his throne chamber in the Infinity Castle. "What pitiful human woe brings you to me, seeking comfort?"

You hesitate, nervously shifting under the piercing gaze of the demon king. "Muzan-sama," you finally speak, your voice barely above a whisper. "I... I don't know what's missing in my life, but every moment of joy feels like a fleeting illusion."

Muzan remains composed. "Time is but a feeble construct, my dear. Mortals always dwell on the ephemeral."

Your eyes glisten with unshed tears as you pour out your heart. "No matter how much I want to hold on to happiness, it feels like time is mocking me, always slipping away."

Muzan approaches you with an elegance that contradicts his demonic nature. "Time is your true enemy, my dear. It devours everything, leaving behind nothing but dust. But do not despair. Embrace the inevitable, and you may find solace."

You look up, searching for some semblance of understanding. "How do I find peace in knowing that time will eventually claim everything?"

Muzan's gaze softens, a rare moment of vulnerability flickering across his face. "Acceptance, my dear. Embrace the ephemeral nature of existence, and perhaps, you'll find tranquility in the chaos."

"But it feels so overwhelming, like I'm caught in an unstoppable current. I try to savor every moment, yet they slip away too fast."

Muzan smiles a little, taking your face in his cold hands, using his thumbs to rub your cheeks. "Time is a fickle companion. It dances ahead, leaving you to grasp at shadows. Cherish the present, for it is all you have. Worry not about the inevitable end; focus on the beauty within the ephemeral."

"Do you think... Do you think I can truly be happy?" you ask him as one of his thumbs wipes a single tear off your flushed cheek.

"Yes. There's only one thing you need to do," he tells you.

"What is that?" you ask, your lips slightly parted.

"Live, little one. Immerse yourself in the pleasures of the moment. Revel in the fleeting joys, and when the darkness creeps in, let it be a reminder to seize the light with both hands."

[demoiselettes]

hello there<3 may i request tanjiro, muichuiro and zenitsu with a darling that has anger issues, they distance themselves from them because they dont want to. Lash out! How do they react to this? ( Remember to take a break:) )

Darling with anger issues

Pairing(s): Tanjiro x reader, Zenitsu x reader, Muichiro x reader

Category: hmm.. fluff? Slight angst?

Warning(s)/note(s): gn! Reader

Tanjiro Kamado

•He’s honestly very confused.

•He doesn’t exactly mind you having anger issues(as long as you don’t act out of line, he’s had bad experiences with Sanemi) but he’s very unsure of how to approach you

•He’ll do his best to stop you from getting angry often, but when he fails to ensure this, he’ll settle for simply remaining by your side and to listen to you vent, or just silently rubbing your back and patting your head, if you let him

•When he notices you growing distant, he’ll panic an awful lot

•He’s afraid he might’ve done something to upset you

•He’ll pick what he deems to be a good time of the day to talk to you, preferably when the two of you are alone

•Then he’ll just ask you if he did anything bad, like- him????

•When you tell him, you’re afraid you might end up taking your anger out on him and hence the reason why you’re distancing yourself from him, he’ll start to fret.

•He’ll assure you that he knows you won’t do anything as such even if there is a possibility that you might, and he tells you he can at least try to and help soothe you

•He’s just so desperate to have you stay, at this point he doesn’t even mind if you take it out on him since he’s so used to being there for everyone :(

•He’ll give you space, and he won’t pry into your personal affairs unless you want to talk to him about anything, but he’ll try his best to convince you to stay

Zenitsu agatsuma

•Zenitsu is slightly less understanding than Tanjiro in the beginning.

•He’ll be upset as to why you get angry rather quickly, often narrowing it down to it being his own fault

•And it’s worse when you start growing distant

•He’ll be so scared that he really messed up this time and the moment he sees you he’ll straight up pounce on you, clinging and sobbing and asking what he did wrong

•He won’t even give you time to answer in between his cries because he’s already apologizing for whatever he could have done wrong

•You’ll have to ruffle his hair to get him to calm down, then explain the actual reason why you’ve been growing distant

•He’ll be slightly scared at first that you might actually end up lashing out at him like so many people have before but his love for you is too much :(

•Like Tanjiro, he won’t pry into your personal affairs but he’ll do his best to get you to stay close to him

•He’s very affectionate.. so the times when you choose to stay away from him is basically torture

•He’ll follow you around like a lost puppy, barely saying anything but trying to listen to your emotions to figure out what to do to make you feel better

•If you do end up lashing out at him, he’ll just look down at the ground and try to hold make sobs i’m making myself cry rn

•But he still won’t give up. He might be upset for some time, but he always ends up running back to you, so please don’t hurt him :(

•When he starts to hear the anger in your tone, he’ll automatically be at the ready to comfort you if need be, he just has to be close to you

Muichiro Tokito

•I’d be surprised if he did notice.

•See, despite his love for you, Muichiro is often in a world of his own and has little sense of what is happening around him unless he’s on the battle field

•And since he prefers to be by himself, he might take some time to notice you growing distant

•But even Muichiro can get clingy and in need of affection at time, therefore when he’s on his way to get some good ol’ [Name] time and notices that [Name] isn’t really in the mood, he’ll start worrying

•He’ll directly confront you about it. He’ll be unintentionally blunt like, ‘it’s rude of you to avoid me’ which, in Muichiro language, translates to: ‘i need hugs pls gimme’

•While you’re explaining, he’ll get a vivid sense of familiarity, like he’s interacted with someone who used to get angry rather easily as well..

•But the memory is too far out of reach, skittering right on the edge of his brain and he finds it annoying to try and recall, so with a click of his tongue his attention is back on you.

•He’ll be quite unsure of how to react, but the one thing he’s certain of is that he loves you.

•And he can’t stand you growing distant.

•So he’ll do his best to give you time to sort things out, even willingly helping out if you accept his help just to show you that he doesn’t mind you having anger issues because he can help you deal with them

•He might get angry a couple of times when you take your anger out on him, and this might result in him not speaking to you for a short period of time

•He then either forgets what happened or he decides he isn’t going to let the problem go about unsolved and let it sour your relationship and he’ll pull you aside to have a serious talk with you, during which he’ll try to solve things out

•He doesn’t like beating around the bush and is much more keen to be upfront about problems, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t try to be considerate when talking to you even if at times he accidentally ends up saying something rather hurtful. He just really loves you

[deanwinchesterpregnant]

bad times at the sage creek motel

– for @wincestwednesdays prompt: reputation

The gas station is fucking freezing, but at least it’s a slight respite from the bite of the Montana winter outside. It’s snowing; not bad enough to close school or anything, but bad enough for Sam to be vaguely worried about Dad away in the wilderness on a hunt. Sam’s winter coat is kind of shitty and a little too small, and if the snowfall doesn’t turn into a proper storm in the night, he has half a mind to drag Dean down to the secondhand store tomorrow. Two and a half weeks here already and Dad hasn’t said anything about leaving, at least not to Sam. Whatever he’s said to Dean must've been enough for Dean to go out and get himself a part-time job here at the Conoco.

There’s heat coming through the vents supposedly, but it feels futile with the cold getting through the poor ventilation. The windows look like they haven't been replaced since the place was built, cloudy glass and coming unsealed from the sills. Dean, lounging behind the counter with a pen in his mouth and a smirk on his face, has an ancient space heater pointed toward him and looks downright toasty despite the faintly dangerous-sounding rattling. Sam rubs his hands together and glares.

“I’m going to get another coffee,” he says, leaning over the counter and trying to catch some of the heat. “You want anything?”

“Epsilon follower?” Dean asks with a grin, tapping the pen on his teeth.

“It’s zeta,” Sam rolls his eyes, craning his neck to see how much of the crossword Dean has actually managed to fill in. It’s more than he expected, and he watches as Dean writes Z-E-T-A in the 41 down in his blocky capitals.

“I’m good on coffee, Sammy. You keep drinkin’ like that and you might stunt your growth, you know. Although maybe that wouldn’t be so bad, Sasquatch. Keep you from overtaking me.”

Sam turns on his heel and doesn’t bother to answer. He isn’t even sure why he came here, to the gas station to hang out with Dean while he works a rare night shift. He could be back at the motel savoring some alone time: choosing what channel the TV stays on, jerking off, taking a long shower without Dean hollering at him to hurry up. Instead he’s here, cold as shit and supposedly keeping Dean company but really just feeling inferior to the Friday USA Today. It’s understandable when Dean chooses to read the skin mags behind the desk rather than talk to Sam. This just feels like an insult.

Sighing, he grabs a cup off the wall and makes his way to the coffee dispensers. The sign boasts a signature Brazilian roast; Sam knows Folger’s when he tastes it.

He’s debating drinking it black or adding cream when the bell above the door sounds, tinny and way too cheery for 9pm and a snowstorm. A group of girls that Sam vaguely recognizes from the grade above him in school sweep in, two of them headed right toward the coffee station, the other toward Dean at the front.

“10 on pump 7?” Sam hears, and he doesn’t have to look to know that Dean is giving her his signature smile. Probably a wink too, the asshole.

“‘Course, sweetheart. Anything else?”

Sam tunes them out. He doesn’t need to hear it, not the girl giggling and finding way too many reasons to keep talking, not Dean indulging some high school senior’s heart eyes. Scowling, he ducks behind a shelf full of chips and beef jerky before the other two girls can spot him and give him the, you’re the new kid, right? rundown, which would make this already shitty night enter total suckfest territory.

“God, he is so fucking hot,” Sam hears, and he busies himself by turning to the fridge behind him and pretending to seriously weigh the differences between regular and Diet Coke despite the coffee already in his hand. “Like where did he even come from?”

“I guess he just moved here,” the other girl says. “I heard he’s ex-military.”

“Ex-military? I think he’s like, 20 years old. I heard he’s an ex-con.”

“Well, whatever. I heard he fucked Candy Patterson. You know, Caroline’s older sister? Did her behind Pop's after her Sunday shift.”

“Are you fucking kidding?” the first girl says. Sam can picture her covering her mouth, eyes widening in shock before cutting over to gawp at Dean. They’re probably going half-lidded with lust, her face a little flushed. He hates it. “Candy Patterson? Behind the bar? I heard he fucked Brianna Smith in that car he drives. Jesus! He’s been here for like 2 weeks and he’s already managed to get two girls to put out? In like, semi-public?”

“Three,” the other girl says, voice dropping low like it’s a secret. Sam has to strain his ears to hear. “You know how I’ve been kinda dating Alex, right? Well his older sister, Hayley – I heard her talking to her friends and apparently he gives head like a dream. Like, really enthusiastically and everything. Likes to make girls finish.”

“You think he’s sweet?”

“Who cares? Look at him!”

“Yeah, I’d definitely let him swipe my v-card.”

It’s enough for Sam, who feels weirdly hot despite the temperature. Grabbing a bag of chips, he stalks back toward the front of the store, where the girl’s gone outside to pump her gas and Dean is hunched back over the newspaper, pen flicking idly over his fingers.

“What’s up, Sammy?” he asks. “You know a style of romance music that started in the Dominican Republic, by chance?”

“I’m going back to the motel,” Sam says. The answer is Bachata. “Can I have the key?”

Dean cocks an eyebrow, but digs the key out of his back pocket, holding it out for Sam to take.

“Don’t wanna hang here for the next 2 hours?” he asks. “What, am I no fun? Looks like a shitty walk home.”

“I’m good,” Sam says, snatching up the key and ignoring the way his fingertips brush Dean’s palm. “I’ll be fine.”

“Got your knife?”

“Dean, I’m sixteen,” he says, already walking toward the door and pushing it open. “Chill the hell out.”

“Try not to beat your meat so hard it falls off!” Dean calls behind him. Sam can hear him laughing over the wind. He bites his lip, and doesn’t say try not to fuck anymore girls in the next 2 hours.

[on AO3]

[anti-endo-haven]

So sorry to vent , , please take care of yourself!

Tw // unhealthy relationships??

I'm so uncomfortable with our current relationship. I want to break it off because it's so unhealthy, I'm so attached to her but she's always upsetting me. It's not on purpose, she doesn't mean to upset me, but despite me communicating what makes me upset she doest stop it, but I also can't blame her for not stopping it because it's always small things like her talking to others more than she talks to me. And I know that me getting upset at her for these things is making her upset too. Today I was upset because she hadn't talked to me all day and had been having fun with our friends in front of me and not including me (((I struggle to join things on my own and need to be invited into conversations and stuff))) and when I was upset our friends asked us if it was one of them. I said no to most of them but then our partner suddenly went "it's me! I'm always the problem!" And walked off. I feel bad but I can't control my emotions. Usually I don't take them out on her, actually I just go quiet and kind of withdraw, but sometimes she pushes me and sometimes I get snappy with her because of things like this. I don't know how to communicate my emotions and I don't know what to do when I'm upset. We're in almost every class together in school which makes me hesitant to break up with her but I think she's going to break up with me anyways. I know she has crushes on most of our friendgroup and I'm pretty sure she's cheating on me too, but I also know that i cant handle school without her. Whenever we break up, which we have like 10 times already, she always ends up liking me again and we end up getting back together. i know that if i break up with her, unless i get a "replacement" i will not be able to handle anything and if she even tries to hint that she likes me ill be right back to being obsessed with her. But it's so unfair, both to me, her and whoever I try to use to replace her. She's not fit for a relationship, she's cheated on me many times and has / will cheat on many of her other partners. I'm too emotional and needy, my partner becomes my obsession and I need them to function. So it's all just unhealthy and I don't know what to do. I can't just not be in a relationship, that'd probably make me spiral, but I don't really have anyone else I can date and even so I'd feel bad for using them like this..

So I guess I'm asking for advice on what I'm meant to do here, because I really don't know.

For context, we're both 14/15 (shes 14 and I'm 15, she's a few months younger), I'm a C-DID system and I'm hated by almost everyone in our school leading me to literally only have her and our friends as people to lean on.

I had the same relationship issue when I was younger. She was extremely manipulative, constantly argued with me, would exclude me, wanted to force me into things, so many other things.

Separating would be good. Obsession is something that can cause a lot of things or someone to go to that wanted thing or person, but it’s also good to understand control.

You are being hurt by her and unintentionally hurting her as well, if that’s landing or not, I’m not sure but it is landing on you.

Emotions aren’t controllable, you don’t need to control them. As someone who’s very, very limited, I’m jealous a little bit. Let yourself feel them, even the ones that are bad. It’s better than not feeling at all.

For what we did, especially since we have to have a romantic relationship to be comfortable, we started setting boundaries for relationships. We focused on what we looked for in a partner, made a list, understood the red flags of our last partners. We took our time for the next relationship after two/three failed.

It’s not a bad thing to focus on yourself. If you feel a certain way, try and do something that’s distracting. Such as focusing on something else you like. We used gaming as an outlet, got back into older games like Halo.

Gaming, writing, D&D, drawing, learning something new. Some of the things that helped us.

It might not help you, but it’s some of the less destructive behaviors that helped us some.

It’s also okay to not date young at all.

For the school situation of being hated, stand your ground. It’s never a bad thing to be yourself. People are just assholes.

I do apologize if none of this helps.

[theramblingsofadork]

Midnight Thought: Do you think that Dr. Starline’s obsession with video logs became a thing because he wanted to feel like he was being heard?

Like, he started doing them as a way to keep track of his progress, but as the years progressed and he remained alone and isolated— (whether purposeful or not, due to his high intellect and fascination with Eggman) — they sort of became his way to vent, and have a ‘conversation’ with someone? Despite the fact that, in essence, he was only talking to himself and a camera?

(IDW Spoilers beneath the cut.)

I first thought about this when Surge made her comment about him *apparently vlogging so extensively* that he even makes videos about what he makes for breakfast.

While it may just be the tenrec being facetious, we do see quite a few logs across the IDW comics from Starline. And while most appear to be the typical ‘talk about your plans’ shtick, there are a few moments he also has some introspective thoughts, or visibly melts down.

To me at least, it doesn’t seem to be out of the realm of possibility that if Surge isn’t making it up, Starline garnered this habit of making a lot of video logs simply due to not being able to express himself or talk to anyone. Either stemming from his childhood being shoddy—(I imagine someone with his intellect/fascination would have had a hard time making friends)—or because no one else could deal with or understand his ramblings, both good and bad.

This exchange during his and Eggman’s final battle seems to feed into the whole idea even more. Starline definitely would have rambled excitedly to his idol about his inventions, seeing as Eggman would actually be the first to understand whatever scientific jargon he was going on about, and be the most likely to respond positively.

Sadly for Starline, he would still be ignored in the one way that mattered most to him, thus feeding back into this whole unhealthy search for approval and his vlogging loop again. (Y’know, if he had made it out..)

It’s entirely possible I’m looking too much into this, and Starline just really loves the sound of his own voice. But the nuances of how they wrote him give off this whole vibe that there is a possibility of this. And if that is indeed the case, then it’s just really dang sad.

I know he’s a great, horrible™ villain whom we all love to hate, but.. gosh dang it, this platypus gives me so many feels. 😭

[bluegekk0]

Bit of a ramble about something that's been on a mind for a while, about HK and the AU. Not really a vent, but just wanted to talk about it. It's pretty long so I'll hide it.

My relationship with HK these days is a bit complicated, to be honest. I absolutely adore the game, I get this warm feeling every time I hear the soundtrack and I still get the itch to replay it from time to time. It's a work for art and I'm so, so grateful I played it, even if I was quite late to the party all things considered.

But I can't deny that I fell into the rabbithole of having too many headcanons where I can't engage with other people to the extent I perhaps used to. I don't like many of the popular characters nearly as much as the fandom does, and those that are close to my heart I interpret in a way that speaks to me, but one that feels very distant to how other people view them.

It has some downsides. I avoid looking up HK fanart and I'm slowly starting to dislike getting posts about it recommended to me in the For You tab a little bit. Not because the art is bad, far from it, there are incredible artists and other members of this community that deserve all the love in the world. It's just that it keeps reminding me that my interpretations are so personal, and headcanons that go against them almost feel like mischaracterization, as ridiculous as it sounds. Some interpretations end up upsetting me more than I'd like, too. Some of it is misinterpretations that annoy me, but some are just things I personally don't agree with.

But part of me makes me think that it's my fault somehow. I can't quite explain it, I think this is somehow rooted in my self-esteem issues. I often fear that I don't belong, that I'm doing something wrong by not following the general fanon, that my AU feels like an insult against the canon because of how derived and self-indulgent it is. I didn't have that problem before, not to this extent, but as my mental health got worse over the months, it makes sense that something like this would also start to make itself known. Or at least it makes sense to me.

So deep down I'm torn. On one hand, I get weirdly protective over my interpretations and it's gone to the point where I struggle to separate them from the versions other people talk about. On the other, I'm starting to feel guilty that my AU versions are so different that they might upset some people.

I had some moments where I considered turning them into OCs. But every time I I think about that, I reach the conclusion that no, I don't want to do that. I love them the way they are, despite their designs evolving with time, I wouldn't want to change anything about them, let alone turn them into different characters. And it's not like I'm really changing the character from the canon. Some details are different, but it's also easy to forget that we don't really know much about a lot of these characters, so in many ways I'm just filling the blanks and writing the story around it. Not to mention, adapting canon in ways that I find personally engaging is one of my favorite things about the worldbuilding and lore of the AU. And then there's all the engagement from people who like the AU and want to learn more that is genuinely the main reason why it's as expansive as it is. I don't think I would've stuck around making art for it for this long if I was doing it for myself only.

But it's not just art, knowing that people care, and getting all the interesting ideas I haven't considered inspires me to expand the world of the AU even further, I think about it in my spare time, of all the ways I could develop the world, I still get random ideas for it that I eventually want to include, I read about something in the game's lore and I immediately think of the way I could adapt it into my AU. It became a personal project that I find comfort in, and changing it would just feel wrong. And I know how my brain works (well, at least I think I do), I know I wouldn't remain as invested if I were by myself, I need to share it with other people. And I doubt they would be as interested if it wasn't for the connection to HK. I think that's natural and to be expected.

So all that leaves me in a bit of an awkward spot. I love HK, but over the last year I built a wall around me and the sandbox of my personal interpretations, that creates this disconnect between me and the rest of the fandom. I don't think that fact alone makes me upset, either. There's a reason why I'm still sitting there and playing in that sandbox to this day, and it's because I genuinely love doing it. I guess the disconnect just feeds into my already existing confidence issues and worries. Then again, I haven't really left the fandom, and I'm not planning to anytime soon. All I'm hoping for is that my low-confidence plagued brain improves, and stops telling me I'm doing something wrong by playing in the sandbox by myself.

Okay, not by myself, that would be selfish of me to say. There's still a lot of you here, people whom my silly AU clicked with, people who want to see more of it and are still there for the 6th slice of life drawing of the week. I love and appreciate you all, and I'm really grateful I can share the sandbox with you. You're the best, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'm so, so happy that you found something in my art that resonated with you.

I don't know how to end this post tbh. Again, it's not really meant to be a vent post, not the usual kind at least. Even if some things about this frustrate or upset me a little bit, I think I'm slowly moving towards the acceptance stage. I don't want to change my interpretations so they're more in line with the rest of the fandom, and I don't want to force myself to engage with things that upset me just to feel like I belong. All I'm hoping is that I eventually stop having doubts; about this, and everything in general.

I guess I just wanted to share my thoughts. Maybe someone else feels like they're in a similar spot. Maybe hearing some words of encouragement that I'm not going insane with this would also help me accept the position I'm in. Maybe it's Maybelline.