#i forgot to sign up for a volunteer thing with my friends and i feel bad because i said i would do it but i kept fucking forgetting

[spacedinosauruses]

feeling kind of off today

it was fine but idk

took a turn

struggling to keep myself alive

[jujutsubaby]

🩷 sex drive 🩷

☆ pairing: toji fushiguro x afab!reader ☆ summary: you go to a valentine's day blood drive at work. maybe it's just that you've been single for too long, but isn't the volunteer drawing your blood kinda...? well, let's just say you wouldn't mind exchanging a few other bodily fluids with him, too. ☆ tags: modern au, workplace au ☆ warnings: 18+!! MINORS DNI!! dirty talk, oral sex (f!recieving), slight exhibitionism, daddy kink ☆ a/n: happy valentine's day (again)!! another quick little treat for u all hehe...inspired by my real life experience of going to a valentine's day blood drive (except for the fun parts ofc lmao).

you knew you should have made up an excuse and stayed home today. you hate to be a cliche bitter ass single woman who's not getting any younger on valentine's day, but it's hard not to play to type when the whole office is decorated in cutesy pinks and reds. it definitely doesn't help that your boss, suguru, keeps getting visits every 15 minutes from his boyfriend satoru.

"ugh, what's with the pda?" you grumble at what feels like satoru's 30th visit to suguru's open cubicle. "haven't you two been together for, like, a thousand years already?" your coworker utahime helpfully makes gagging noises to emphasize your point.

"hey now, y/n, you KNOW that i'm the head of marketing and suguru's the head of sales! i can't help it if he and i have lots of important things to discuss," satoru protests with puppy dog eyes.

"i didn't realize important marketing meetings involve sitting on coworkers' laps now," utahime mumbles, and the pair of you giggle conspiratorially.

however, as the day goes on and utahime keeps receiving increasingly elaborate flower arrangements delivered to her from her doctor girlfriend shoko, you find yourself feeling more glum than ever. you decide to go out for a stroll, hoping the cold february air will slap some sense into you.

unfortunately, not even five minutes after you set out, droplets of threatening rain turn into a torrential downpour. you curse; in your mopey mood this morning, you totally forgot to check the forecast!

you really don't want to go back into the lovefest of your office right now, so you start looking desperately around for a rescue — an underhang to stand under, anything.

that's when you see a bright red sign advertising a blood drive for valentine's day being held at your neighboring building. that could be an interesting idea. at least this way, you can tell yourself you did a good deed on valentine's day instead of just complaining the whole time. even more appealingly, you see that it'll take about an hour, which is one less hour you'll have to spend around satoru's soppy nicknames for suguru. after shooting a quick text to your team's group chat informing them of your last minute appointment, you decide to brave the rain and head over, hoping there's an opening for a walk-in.

you enter the room where the blood drive is taking place, praying you don't look too much like a drowned rat. your self-consciousness melts away and you smile brightly when you see a familiar face.

"shoko! you're volunteering here today?"

"oh, hey y/n," your quiet friend replies, giving you a small smile back. "yeah, utahime and i have a date nearby this evening, so i thought i might as well sign up. what time was your appointment for?"

"well, uh, i didn't exactly make an appointment..." you say awkwardly. "are walk-ins ok?"

"no problem, we got a lot of no-shows today anyway," shoko replies with a subtle roll of her eyes. she then hands you a clipboard and a pen. "just fill this out, and i'll get you screened and set up and everything."

you gratefully take the clipboard and head into the tiny compartment curtained off at the side of the room, presumably to give donors some privacy as they get screened. you fill out the form (trying not to think of your stupid ex boyfriend when you encounter the questions about your sex life), and once you're done, you poke your head back outside of the compartment.

"i'm ready now, shoko," you call. when your friend doesn't answer, you crane your neck around to the desk where she had been sitting. "shoko?"

"she just went on break," a husky, masculine voice replies from behind you. "i'll be taking over." you look back and are immediately floored by what just has to be the finest specimen of the male form you've ever seen, clad in obscenely tight scrubs that emphasize every bulging muscle. focus!!

"oh thanks doctor...um...fushiguro," you read from his nametag. he's so tall that it happens to be at your eye level, giving you quite a nice eyeful of his firm, muscular chest. what business did men have being this tall, anyway?!

"just call me toji," he says casually, grinning down at you. he takes the clipboard from your outstretched hands and jerks his head back towards the compartment you had been waiting in. "let's head back there so we have more...privacy." maybe it's just your imagination, but you could have sworn he smirked when he said that. you take deep breaths to suppress the unholy thoughts you're having, and you follow him back into the side room.

when you push the curtain aside and go in after him, you see he's already settled into one of the two chairs crammed into the tight space that he's clearly a little too large for. as you daintily resume your position in your own chair, he shifts and splays his long legs out, brushing your thigh with his knee. you inhale sharply.

he clears his throat and pulls out a pair of reading glasses from his breast pocket before reading your questionnaire. he nods at your answers (although you can't help but turn beet red as his eyes scan over the section about when you last had a new sex partner).

"looks fine to me. let's take your blood pressure now...y/n" he says, positively purring when he sounds out your name. "beautiful name for a beautiful girl," he says with a roguish wink, making you turn even redder than you ever knew was possible. was he making you uncomfortable on purpose?!

"mind taking your top off?" he asks, rummaging around in the drawer in front of him.

"i'm sorry?!" you choke out. that was a freebie! happy fucking valentine's day to you!

"oh, sorry, i meant so i can put the bp monitor around your arm. i don't know if you can roll your sleeves up in that blouse," he says, looking up from the drawer. you notice his eyes on your breasts, and you realize that you of course had worn your white button down over your lacy black camisole on the day mother nature decided to get you soaking wet. you must look like such a hussy!

you quickly unbutton your blouse and show him your arm to wrap the thick velcro band around, trying hard to avoid eye contact. it doesn't matter, though; you can feel his eyes boring into you like lasers. why does he have to be so hot?! you hope being in his presence won't throw off your blood pressure reading...you can feel your pulse going a little haywire.

As he tightens the band and starts the measurement, toji starts making small talk.

"so, you doing anything for valentine's day?"

ugh. anything but this topic.

"no," you reply simply, hoping not to broker further discussion.

he presses on, not taking your cue (or if he did, he ignored it.)

"no? what, your partner doesn't celebrate?"

toji reads out your bp measurement to you, but you don't even pay attention to it as you notice his hand brushing the side of your breast as he unwraps the bp monitor's band from your exposed arm. you gulp as you realize only the thin satiny layer of your cami is keeping his hands from touching your tits.

"uh..ah.." you say, hoping he doesn't notice the effect his one brief physical touch had on you, "n-no...my ex-boyfriend and i broke up a few months ago already." you don't mention how you saw him in your bed on your birthday in the arms of another person.

toji looks up at you from darkly hooded eyes.

"his loss...i know i'd treasure valentine's day with a pretty little thing like you."

just like that, toji snaps back into professional mode again, leaving you reeling once more from his flirtatious behavior. he was way too handsome to be acting like this on a dime! a girl like you could get ideas...

"i'm going to do a thumbprick now to get a quick reading on your blood. is that ok with you?"

you nod, and he grins at you.

"that's my girl," he hums in a low voice.

then, before you're even able to process what's happening, he takes your hand and engulfs it in his own. he then begins rubbing your hand back and forth, and you feel a small frisson of pleasure at the sensation of his callouses against your small, soft fingers.

"noticed your skin was a little cold, so i thought i'd warm your hand up before taking the sample," he explained, but you're hardly able to even listen to him as you enjoy the blissful sensation of his hands rubbing yours. his fingers were so long and thick, and so dextrous... how would those fingers feel somewhere else...no! stop! what are you thinking?! you've definitely been single for too long.

"all right, y/n," toji murmurs gently. "you're just going to feel a small prick...sorry about that..." he takes the sample and puts it into a machine for processing. he then reaches back into the drawer and withdraws a digital thermometer.

"while we're waiting for that to finish, let's take your temperature." you nod and extend your hands to take the thermometer from him, but he ignores you and instead roughly takes your chin in one of his huge, warm hands, tilting your head up towards his chest.

"open up for me now, y/n" he purrs, your name sounding like the sweetest and most beautiful sound you've ever heard when it's coming from his mouth; you can't help but comply. he gently inserts the thermometer under your tongue, and you note his eyes lingering on your lips for much longer than they have to. embarrassingly, you notice heat pooling between your legs, and tension twisting by your belly button. you could get used to this...all too soon, though, the thermometer beeps, and he takes it out. toji clicks his tongue as he reads the small display.

"99 degrees even," he reads out. "now that's a surprise."

"what? why's that?" you ask, confused. how could a body temperature be surprising?

"well, our cutoff is 99.5, and i was sure you'd be way too hot," he says with a laugh and another wink. you giggle back demurely; you can't help but act all girlish and coquettish with someone like him. you've never seen a man in real life wink so much, but you find you don't mind. it suits him.

"all right, y/n, let's go get some blood drawn!" he says enthusiastically, rising from his chair. you follow suit. he reaches around you (did his arm just brush your breasts again?) and opens the curtain for you. "after you, princess."

you used to hate when your ex called you "princess"...but when toji called you that, it sounded like the doors to the heavens opened and angels were singing. you'll definitely be thinking about that for awhile. probably before bedtime, and probably while touching yourself. you sigh and exit the small room before hopping up onto one of the cots that were brought to the building for the blood drive.

toji pops a small stress ball into your hand. "now, make a fist for me," he says, using his fingers to close yours, "and start squeezing that." he squeezes his fist around yours. it wasn't so confusing of an instruction that you needed a demonstration, and you're beginning to suspect that toji's making excuses to keep touching you. not that you mind, exactly.

you keep squeezing, and he examines the tender inside of your elbow. "that's a gorgeous vein you've got there, princess. this'll be easy for me," he murmurs seductively, and you blush. you've never been complimented on a vein, of all things, before.

soon, toji pierces your arm (pursing his lips sympathetically as you emit a sharp gasp, which of course makes you stare at his lips), and your blood is pumping merrily into a bag. you decide to make conversation with him, this time.

"how about you, toji? i'm sure someone like you has big plans for valentine's day, right?" you ask, raising your eyebrows suggestively.

"oh, yeah," he chuckles. "if you count getting high and watching magnolia for the millionth time big plans. i don't really go for that stuff," he says.

"i love paul thomas anderson," you say huskily, trying to flutter your eyelashes at him. it's been a long time since you've flirted, and you're probably embarrassing yourself. "you know what the perfect film of his for today would be, though?"

"what's that, princess?"

you smirk. "there will be blood."

toji lets out a huge laugh in spite of himself, and you smile proudly. flirtation successful!

soon, your blood has filled the small bag, and toji removes the needle, pressing gauze to the wound. the feel of his hands pressing into your arm is one of the most blissful things you've felt all week. he asks you to continue maintaining the pressure, and you feel like whining that it won't feel as nice as when he does it before remembering where you are and complying. you watch as he picks up your sample and sorts it in with the others; you feel a bit shy, seeing him manhandle your little blood bag like that. it feels so intimate.... you gulp as you imagine him manhandling you like that.

"all right, y/n, now you just need to rest for twenty minutes, and you'll be good to go." you start climbing out from the cot, feeling a little disappointed that your short, exciting interaction with toji is coming to an end. oh well. some excitement is better than none.

"we have some cookies for the donors in the seating area," he continues. "lucky you...i'd love a little taste of something sweet right about now..."

ok, it definitely wasn't your imagination — he positively growled that last sentence, and he was eyeing you. as you get up, you notice you're a little shaky on your feet; you realize that you actually hadn't eaten lunch before coming, since you'd been in such a rush to get away. you list and sway dangerously to one side, but a pair of strong arms braces you. you let your head fall back onto a perfectly firm, taut chest.

"careful, there, sweetheart" toji whispers in your ear, his breath tickling your sensitive skin as he lifts you up. you try not to think too much about how your back is pressed into him right now. "i think i'd better keep an eye on you." he walks you over to the front of the room, bracing your back against himself the whole way over. he leads you to the front of the room, where there are folding chairs and a card table with a small platter of supermarket cookies as promised. as shoko had alluded earlier, the blood drive was not busy at all. in fact, it was completely empty currently; just you and toji, alone in this room... you feel yourself getting faint again, but not for the same reason.

"y'know, princess..." toji says, sitting again with his legs splayed out over the chair across from you as you nibble a chocolate chip cookie. "my shift's ending right about...when your observation period ends."

you tilt your head inquisitively at him, hoping you knew why he was saying this. he leans forward, the flimsy plastic chair creaking under the weight of his solid muscle. what you'd let that muscle do to you...

"i don't think that i, as a medical professional, can let you go back to work today..." he continues. "i think you'd better go home after this." then, he smiles deviously. "and i think i'd better take you back, just to give you a...full examination."

it takes all of your restraint not to fling the rest of the cookie down and jump his bones right then and there. instead, you reply,

"i think i'd appreciate the house call." you do your best to make your voice ooze with suggestion so he knows you're picking up what he's putting down.

after what feels like the slowest fifteen minutes of your life, it's finally time to leave. just as toji's shift is about to end, shoko returns from her break, and you take the opportunity to ask her to have utahime bring your things back home from the office for you. since they're your neighbors, you can pick them up later tonight. or perhaps, tomorrow morning...just in case tonight gets a little too busy.

"something came up," you explain to her breathlessly, but you know shoko notices toji's hand creeping up the small of your back.

"have fun," shoko says to the both of you, only slightly judgmental but mostly encouraging.

since you took the bus to work that morning and toji refuses to wait a moment longer than he has to to commence your "examination," he insists on driving you back in his car. you both practically sprint through the parking lot, and he breaks at least three traffic laws zooming back to your apartment in the rain as you yell directions. for a doctor, he sure is awfully reckless.

finally, finally, after an agonizingly long wait, you're at your building. you're about to climb out of the car, but toji is way ahead of you, opening the door for you. you are about to climb out and jokingly thank him for his chivalry when he unceremoniously scoops you out of your seat and swings you over his shoulder. you shriek with laughter.

"toji! put me down!"

you're also all too aware that you're wearing a pretty short skirt that day.

"sorry, princess," he says smoothly. "it's protocol. i can't have you walking back in just in case you pass out, or something."

you're about to ask if he's even been to medical school when he shoves your key into your apartment door, slams it open, and, equally roughly, slams your back against the wall. the breath is shoved out of your lungs as he immediately captures your mouth with his, swallowing any potential protest you might have had (which you didn't, you absolutely didn't. not even close.). he carries your entire weight easily as he shuts the door behind him with his foot; you're hardly paying attention, though, as you're too busy widening your mouth and entangling your tongue with his. you greedily bite down on his lip, and he growls in response.

"let's get you to the examination table," he groans. you wrap your legs around his narrow waist, and he carries you haphazardly to your dining table, crashing into and knocking over furniture along the way. carrying you with one arm, he carelessly clears the table with his other before plopping you onto the tabletop. he kneels before your legs and tears off your tights in one swift motion.

"i hope you're planning to help clean up—" you start, but your breath hitches in your throat as he begins kissing up your ankle, then your calf...then your thigh...he gets slower and slower as he gets closer to where you most want him to go. you try to shift forward on the table to bring your throbbing center closer to him, but he holds you firmly in place with two powerful hands clamped on your hips.

"patience, princess..."

you close your eyes and start taking deep breaths, but the moment is disrupted by an annoying loud vibration against the wooden tabletop.

"who the fuck is 'ryomen sukuna?'" toji scoffs, "and why do you have a heart next to his name? you been lyin' to me, princess? have you been naughty?"

"no," you breathe, and it comes out as a whine. "no, daddy, i've been a good girl, promise. please..."

"'please' what, princess? help daddy out here," he purrs with a wicked grin. just then, your stupid phone vibrates again, and you're about to pick it up and throw it out the window when toji wrests it from your grip.

"your idiot ex, i'm guessing?" he asks. all you can do is nod, the words robbed from you.

"well, my professional recommendation is...for you to tell him to fuck off."

"i will, toji, i promise," you pant. "please, just ignore him, i promise, he's nothing to me."

"you're not listening to me, princess..." toji says in a low, dangerous voice. "i want you to tell him to fuck off. right. now." he slides the answer button on your phone and hands it to you before you can protest.

"h-hello?" you say, trying to keep your voice steady. "sukuna?"

"heyyyy, y/n....missed hearing your voice, boo," sukuna coos, clearly inebriated. you scoff in disgust; it's only four in the afternoon. sukuna was such a mess.

"what do you want, sukuna? i thought i w-was..." you start out assertively, but your resolve is breaking as a practiced tongue once again starts swirling its way up your legs, alternating between your left and right thighs. you clench your toes and grit your teeth before continuing.

"i was ... clear...that ... that we're o-over," you say, the last word coming out as a moan as you feel a set of teeth pulling off your panties ever so gently.

"baby, i told you!" sukuna whines. "uraume's nothin' to me, babe! they're just a friend! you're my one and only, baby!"

even in the midst of the sensory overload occurring in your bottom half, you still roll your eyes. yeah, "just friends" made out in bed naked all the time, right?

"i want you to...to...s-stop.." you pant, as sukuna finally picks up on your strange manner of speech.

"hold on, y/n, is someone there with you?" he snarls, his famous temper rising to the forefront. "you whoring it up with another guy already?"

at that, toji grabs the phone from you and growls into it, "seems like she finally decided she needs a real man, not some cheatin' asshole who can't appreciate her properly!"

the moment he finishes talking, toji leans back into your thighs and finally plunders you with his tongue, raising the phone to your mouth in time for you to moan sinfully into it as sukuna is arguing back. toji doesn't even bother hanging up as he throws the phone across the room.

toji grips your thighs tightly enough to leave bruises as he feasts on you, and you wrap your legs around him, tangle your hands in his short hair, and squirm in delight. it doesn't take you very long to come undone under his practiced mouth.

he rises back to his feet, licking his lips.

"finally got to satisfy my sweet tooth today," he says mischievously. you grab the v-neck of his shirt and tug him closer to you aggressively.

"take me to bed. it's your turn next," you declare authoritatively. then, you kiss him fiercely, tasting yourself on his lips and tongue.

"your wish is my command, princess," he replies with a dark chuckle, before lifting you, bridal style, to your bedroom.

this was shaping up to be a great valentine's day after all.

[sentientcave]

Oh hey it's Wednesday again! You know what that means!

IT'S WIP WEDNESDAY BAYBEE

I've been bouncing around from project to project a lot lately so have a little Fic Flight of a few thangs

You Only Live Twice

Sadie was already creeping down the shadowed path strip of grass between the building and the outer wall, shoes in hand. She felt the Russian’s presence at her back, the intake of breath indicating that he intended to scold her for getting ahead of him. “I imagine they’ll have men at the gate already,” she said, cutting him off. “I’ll pretend I think they’re the real security and blather on about what’s going on upstairs, and you pick them off once I have them in the open. I assume you’re a good shot?” “I don’t like that. You could be killed.” Why the man cared all that much if she were killed, she didn’t know. Something to figure out later, once they were out of there. At the moment he was useful, and that was all that mattered. “I doubt it. They would have just blown the place to bits if they wanted everyone dead. They’re looking for high-profile hostages.” He tugged her further into the shadows, his big hand not leaving her waist even once he had her pressed against the wall. “You’re right, but—” “If you’re not a good shot, now would be the time to tell me,” she hissed back. “We don’t have time to stand around and think about it. I can probably only take on one myself, if I have to fight hand to hand.” She looked past him, down to where the lights from the gate station glared out into the darkness. “Are you ready?” He sighed, resigned. “Da. Make it a good performance, umnyashka. I will follow.”

Rugby

Your morning passes in a steady trickle of numbers and signed reports. You get up and stretch halfway through the morning, water your plants, get back to work. The second half of the morning flies by, and Brandon is back in your doorway again before you know it. It was a vain hope to think you would be able to slip out and get lunch without tagging along with him. Or it would have been, if the elevator didn’t open to reveal Simon ‘Perfect Timing’ Riley, holding a brown paper bag of takeout. “Forgot t’pack you a lunch, pretty boy,” he rumbles, stepping out and pulling you to the side. “Figured you could show me your office.” Brandon opens and closes his mouth like a fish, taking in the full expanse of Simon. Simon gives him a sly look out of the corner of his eye, and tugs you a step closer by the tie. “No kiss, love?” he asks playfully. You short circuit, face heating up so much that you’re sure Simon can feel it when he cups your jaw and tips your face up, and fucking kisses you. He’s not shy about it either, his tongue lapping at the seam of your lips, head tilted so your noses don’t squish together. “This is your boyfriend?” Brandon asks, interrupting the absolutely bizarre moment. “Hm?” Simon pulls away and looks at Brandon properly, like he’s just noticed him there. “Who’s your friend, Rip?” “Um. This is Brandon. Brandon, this is Simon. Yeah. My um. Boyfriend.” You look back at Simon. “You didn’t have to bring me lunch.” “Maybe I wanted to. You gonna say no to a curry?” “No. Come on, lets go sit in my office.” You shrug at Brandon. “Rain cheque, eh?” “See you around, Bradley,” Simon adds, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

Field Trip

He looks serious for a moment, before the grin flickers back on. “Aw, weel, it wasnae as much fun as I might make it look. I had things ta keep livin’ fer.” “Like volunteering to help out with a school trip?” you ask mildly. “Of course. Few things matter more’n education, ye ken. Want tae make sure Finn doesnae wander off like Ah would’ve at his age.” His knee bumps into yours as he gets comfortable in the seat, and he makes no move to remove it. “Ah didnae have such a bonnie teacher, mind. Might’ve paid a bit more attention in class.” You tilt your knees toward the aisle, humming noncommittally. As far as you’re aware, Mr. Mactavish was SAS— An officer, and no slouch in regards to intelligence. Acting like an over eager puppy probably gets him further than behaving like a serious soldier, but you don’t really buy it. “I’m sure you did just fine in school, Mr. Mactavish.” “Ye can call me Johnny, ye ken. We’re no’ strangers by now, are we Sweetpea?” “Mr. Mactavish—” “Ah, come on bonnie, Ah’m no’ on a last name basis with anyone else here. Even the kids call me Soap.” “Are you ever going to tell us what that means?” Mrs. Kingsley asks, leaning across the aisle with a smile. “Ah cannae, Barb, ye cheeky thing, an’ ye know it. Classified.” Johnny taps the side of his nose and winks. He takes the opportunity to lean across you, one hand on your thigh and one arm braced against the barrier between your seat and the door. “How’s yer grandkids gettin’ on? No’ in school themselves yet, are they?”

Sparrow

She chanted his name, pressing her lips to his ear. He growled in response, barely missing a stroke as he transferred his weight to one arm, the other grabbing her by the throat, putting just a little pressure there. “Shut it, birdie, you’re gonna make me come.” “Yes, yes please,” she whispered, cunt clamping down on him like a vice. “Want you to. Please, Simon—” “Fuckin’ christ, Morgan,” he grunted. “Never fuckin’ shut up, do you?” She grinned, tipping her chin up to give him better access to her throat. “No. You’ll have to make me.” He groaned, dropping his forehead to her shoulder, giving her a few more grinding thrusts as deeply inside her as he could get, and came hard. Morgan could feel every pulse and twitch as he stuffed her full, the sensation almost enough to send her over the edge too. She whined, wrapping he legs around him tightly so he couldn’t pull out. “S’your own fault, birdie,” Simon grumbled, letting his full weight come down on top of her to keep her from moving her hips any more. “Gimme a minute. I’ll take care of you.” She sighed, stroking a hand through his hair and pressing a kiss to the side of his head. “I know you will. We’ll take care of each other.”

[ameftowriter]

FINALLY I WROTE THIS AFTER 2 AND A HALF DAYS!!

Whew... I'm sorry for it being so late on this one.

But I did my best after being inspired by this wonderful art. Thank you @k-chips and @zomandfriends and @wyrdle .

Also this is based off @k-chips 's Dadvell AU yes xD

Thank you for reading and I hope you like it. I apologize for any errors as well.

Under the cut cause it's a bit long and also spoilers.

EDIT: I forgot to add some important tags I'm so sorry also some information cause I rushed to post this and I'm forgetful

Title: But what about you?

Tyme walked through the hallways to speak to Clavell at his office. Everything was going well so far she thought to herself. Everything was going smoothly and even issues that rose were quickly fixed and resolved. She was happy to report to Clavell that there were many willing volunteers to help set up for the first Academy Ace Tournament this Friday and the participants for the battles itself have all signed up.

But as she opened the door to the Director's office, she saw the one last big issue to resolve.

Clavell continuously paced around his office. Back and forth, back and forth, over and over again. He stopped and looked like he thought of something.

Then he grumbled and began pacing around again.

Tyme sighed to herself... There was indeed one last thing that had to be dealt with first.

And perhaps she's the only one who can resolve this problem.

She approached Clavell who kept going and going, as he didn't realize who was already there next to him.

"Director...." Tyme began.

"And there's still the board meeting...." Clavell muttered to himself as he walked away, not noticing Tyme.

"Director Clavell..." Tyme repeated herself as she walked to follow him.

"The Tournament is this Friday... I still need to get a speech prepared..."

"Clavell."

"But of course... I still need to provide more support for Arven and his friends..."

"Clavell!"

"Oh!" Clavell quickly turned to see that Tyme was standing next to him with her hands at her hips and looked at him with the most annoyed expression.

"M-Miss Tyme..." The flustered director spoke, "My goodness... I didn't see you come in... How long were you--?"

"I just got here, Director Clavell...." Tyme shook her head. She could feel the tension within him.

"I must apologize then, Miss Tyme.." Clavell bowed at her, "I have been quite busy with various affairs."

"I'm sure you are, Clavell..." Tyme sighed as she dropped the title, "Though I believe you may have overloaded yourself with too many affairs."

"... Do you think I have?" Clavell wondered, a lot of events have occurred in this school year alone after all. But he was the director, a lot of things are his responsibility. 

"Definitely." Tyme nodded, "You need to take care of yourself once in a while, Clavell. You won't be able to help anyone in your state. "

"I suppose you're right but I..." Clavell paused for a moment as he thought of what he needed to do. "Ever since I found out the truth about Team Star and around two years ago... I have to make sure these kids are doing well for themselves now and the school isn't giving them too much trouble ...."

"Yes ..." Tyme did not want to be reminded of that shame she felt when she was told of the truth behind the entire incident. But she has noticed then that the Team's members have started coming back to classes and have been opening up to the teachers and other students... Especially her student, Penny...

"Then the Academy Ace Tournament is this Friday... We need to make sure everything is set up and we got the proper permissions for the location and the shops..."

"Of course..." Tyme and various volunteers have already gotten the permissions needed to set up the Tournament. Chairwoman Geeta already compiled it all for them. She wanted to tell him this, but the man kept on pacing...

"Jacq needs assistance in his classes and his Pokedex as these Paradox Pokemon that Sada brought in have a lot of information to bring up and even to other Pokemon Professors..."

"That's not a rush then is it?" Tyme tried to reassure him, at least to lessen the burden.

"Speaking of Sada, and the Paradox Pokemon..." Clavell already changed the topic as the thought of the incident that happened a couple of months ago, "Dear Arceus... Those kids... I still need to check up on them and their well-being... A couple of months have passed already, I dearly hope that they are still doing okay since then..."

"I'm sure they're doing all right, Clavell..." Tyme remembers seeing the four students in question, enjoying each other's company and having quite a loud yet joyful chat in the cafeteria yesterday. She was quite happy to see that.

"But also Arven...." Clavell clutched his head as he counted in his mental checklist, "I have been worried for him since the incident in Area Zero.... When we found out that his mother had been gone far longer than we realized, then down there to meet the AI and... And..."

"Clavell!" Tyme had grasped his shoulders firmly, and jolted the man awake from his self induced trance, "For Arceus's sake, settle down."

"I... I apologize..." Clavell muttered.

"I know you have a lot to do, but please take care of yourself first." Tyme pleaded with him with the softest look possible, "I worry about you."

"I..." Clavell felt his face heat up by that. "I'm really sorry Tyme... For making you worry for me."

"You've gone through a lot under a span of a year, even more than anyone should." Tyme reassured him again, "You don't have to be sorry for this."

"I know but I..." Clavell began to remember his mental checklist again, "I feel like there is still much more to do..."

Tyme sighed, here we go again.

"I still need to check on the kids...." Clavell counted, "And Arven... He still needs my help, I need to be there for him more..."

"Clavell..." Tyme spoke softly.

"I'll also still need to talk with Team Star, I want to make sure they're doing well too..." He counted it again.

"They're all right...." She reassured him again even though it fell on deaf ears.

"Jacq needs help as well..." Once again he does it.

"That can wait. Even though he knows it's not a priority..." She continued.

"Then there's the tournament... I can't just leave it..."

By then, Tyme had enough and pulled the man to her and enveloped her arms around him, hugging him so tight.

"But what about you?" She says to his ear, "You silly old fool..."

"Tyme... I..."

"I've said it before and I'll say it again... You need to take care of yourself. If you don't then I will... For your sake ..."

"Tyme..." Clavell repeated, as he was unsure of what to say or do. "You don't have to..."

"But I want to." Tyme answered back, "You need this. At least for now..."

Clavell could feel the tears well up in his eyes as he brought his hands upward to return the hug she had given him... "Yes... Yes, please... And thank you."

The two remained like this for a good while as Clavell quietly sobbed as he grasped Tyme's sweater. He was grateful to have her around at his moment of weakness and felt himself relax for once. Tyme rubbed circles on his back as she, herself tried to hold back her own emotions. She hated seeing him like this. When she found out about everything this poor man had gone through in just the course of this school year, she brought it to herself to accompany him more and help him more than ever. It was the best thing she could think of right now. So despite it all, she was relieved that she could finally help him.

As the two finally went silent, Clavell sighed, "Thank you Miss Tyme... I needed that..."

"Good! Now that wasn't so bad, is it?" The two let go of their hug but their hands still on each other. Then the two stiffened.

The realization that they're so close to each other had clicked in for them and they have once again fallen into silence.

"I...umm..." Clavell was the first to speak, with his face flushed red and his hands letting go of Tyme's waist, "Th-thank you Miss Tyme... For that support..."

"O-of course..." Tyme felt her face heat up, and her heart skipped a beat... she never really realized how... good looking... Clavell is up close like this...

"Is there something else wrong, Miss Tyme?" Clavell managed to speak as he felt his own heart rate speed up after being so close to her like this. "You still have your hands on my shoulders..."

"Oh... oh! I... I apologize, Director Clavell!" Tyme quickly removed her hands from him as she felt flustered, "I'm... I'm just glad to help!"

"Of course!" Clavell gave her a soft smile, as he still felt relaxed and happy to be by her side. "If you have time then, shall we have some tea?"

"That would be wonderful!" Tyme smiled at him back. The two are simply delighted to have each other at this time of vulnerability.

"Oh... My... Arceus....." Penny muttered as she peeked through the office door. She was actually there to try to meet up with Director Clavell to talk to him about the STCs and its steady progress and various records with it. But instead she had just witnessed something she definitely wished she could have recorded.

"Well... This can wait..." She said to herself as she slowly closed the door as silently as possible to not get their attention, "Priority one is to gossip this to Riley, Arven, and Nemona.... They're gonna be so happy to hear about this!"

She then silently walked away from the office ready to head back to her friends.

[neurodiversitysci]

Panicking-over-almost-nothing Demand Avoidance

Funny ADHD story

Last week, I made the mistake of volunteering for a sleep study at my old college. They pay well, I wanted to help, and maybe I’d learn something about my sleep.

I got an email a few days ago saying "here are some times you could come in," none of which are possible, and forgot to follow up.

I got another email from their lab this morning. Haven't even opened it yet, but as soon as I saw it I started panicking. OMG SOMEONE WANTS SOMETHING FROM ME AND I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE ELSE WHAT IF I FAIL OH NO. 

(My hell brain believes that Making Other People Happy is safety).

Knowledge of that email has been hanging over my head distracting me and filling me with That Feeling of Foreboding ever since. Which is inconvenient, as I have an Important Errand to prepare for this morning.

I'm reminding my hell brain that 

a) I signed up for this; I don't *have* to do anything, 

b) an email is not inherently dangerous, 

c) whether I succeed or fail, having someone else expect something from me isn't going to kill me.

My hell brain, unimpressed, continues flooding my body with anxiety.

The Pattern of Demand Avoidance

I’m reminded of that awful term “pathological demand avoidance” (seriously, who thought it would be a good idea to use a term that abbreviates to PDA?). It was coined to describe people, especially kids, who continually refuse to do things that others expect from them. For years, the only time I came across the term was in reference to “misbehaving” kids. The label sounds willfully defiant, and is inherently pejorative (I mean, it has the word “pathological” in it). 

Unfortunately, it also fits my situation surprisingly well. I’m terrified of anyone wanting anything from me, even just answering an email. 

I put off answering emails for exactly this reason, then feel guilty for being late to reply, and the cycle continues, potentially ad infinitum/until it’s been so long that it feels too late to reply, and I eventually let myself forget about it and let it go, in favor of worrying about new emails.

It’s not just emails, though; those are just an example of how innocuous my panic triggers can be.

Right now, I procrastinate on all manner of tasks related to getting involved in activities, making friends, and dating. I literally avoid reaching out to people I want to interact with, because What If They Expect Me to Contact Them Back (And Know What to Say, And Have It Not be Awkward) In a Reasonable Amount of Time.

I spend far more time procrastinating on such tasks than it would take to actually do them. 

Don’t even get me started on the yearly months-long mental tug of war over thank you notes that I went through as a teenager. Or the time I almost didn’t graduate high school because I was stuck on some paperwork and procrastinated down to the wire.

Freaking out over an email about something I literally volunteered to do, however, is a new low.

It’s no surprise that I have so little faith in myself right now. I’ve hit the wall three times now, with real consequences for my life. What if it happens again? 

I don’t trust my brain enough to want to commit to anything. What if I do it wrong? What if I do it late? What if I don’t do it at all?

And it’s become such a habit that I am avoiding doing something I literally cannot fail, except by avoiding it. Sigh.

Reexamining My Procrastination

As someone on Tumblr put it, people with ADHD go through a mental tug of war. One part of you insists “Do the thing” while another, usually stronger, part protests, “No.” Not surprisingly, it makes it hard to get started on things. If you can break through that tug of war, you’re exhausted before you even start.

I’m now considering the possibility that this deep fear of failing is probably a reason for it.

I’ve often wondered why I procrastinate so much on trivial things whose negative sensory properties I can ameliorate (like doing the dishes). The habit of fear and avoidance is probably part of it.

But also, I might just be afraid of failing myself. After all, other people aren’t the only ones who have expectations. 

TL;DR

If you see someone of any age avoiding everything others want them to do, however innocuous, consider that it may not be defiance. They might just be terrified.

10/24/22

[kfanopinions]

Chenle's Ideal Type (Astrology Based)

since chenle has no birth time this will be more surface level information. until his birth time is revealed and i can get a closer look - take everything with a grain of salt. i will be looking at his moon and venus signs

AQUARIUS MOON

state your case aquarius moon men, are not emotional people. think of them as very observant and factual types. constantly analyzing to figure people and things out. but, to feel that emotion it can go over their heads. so his partner will need to say what they want from him, what they see the relationship like, and how they feel about him

missing puzzle piece okay so this is quite interesting, chenle may be looking for someone (now or in the future) that can replicate what he had growing up. the kind of relationship that his parents have. BUT this is primarily if he was brought up in a loving home with positive examples of what a relationship can look like

aquarius signs, hell, air signs all have this freedom thing about them, and a man with an aquarius moon can sometimes be hard to tie down for a long-term relationship because of their detached approach to love BUT if he had a positive and warm upbringing this will for sure make him want to find someone to settle down with

lending a helping hand he could perhaps want someone who doesn't mind volunteer work or does something revolving around humanitarian efforts

keep things a mystery i see him liking someone who gives him just enough to keep him fed but not enough to keep him full, if you know what i mean

sensitivity in men is amazing chenle has a sensitive side. a "mother hen" to him so someone who is like that with their own friends will probably grab his attention. it's the caring aspect that i believe will be what sparks an interest

audrey with a side of marilyn chenle may like a partner who has an elegant side to them. someone charming and gentle (especially if they are flirting with him. they need to be subtle and not bold) - but the playfulness of someone like the late marilyn monroe will certainly spark intrigue, especially if the person had a hint of mystery behind those eyes (also the sexiness marilyn had will most certainly peek his scorpio venus' attention)

remember he wants to lead this is just him wanting to wear the metaphorical pants in the relationship ^^ he may be a mother hen but he's still a man XP

6th sense chenle is an intuitive person so if his partner has the same type of intuition, can read his thoughts or be one step ahead of him will probably be good for him as well

example: noticing that he finds someone annoying so his partner sees his body language, expression, and finds someway to "save him"

he didn't have to verbally mouth "get me away" his partner would just see him and "know" that's what he wanted

actions speak louder than words this is more for chenle but if we're talking about his ideal type they should keep this in mind...

chenle can be very rational in his way of loving someone. his partner should know he may not say things like "you mean the world to me" "i miss you in my arms" or w/e else. with him it's gestures/actions. probably something like his partner mentioning that they forgot to pick up a few things at the store - no fear, before he gets home he may pick that up for his partner. it's small but it's the (i heard you, i processed what you said, what you needed, and am providing it)

take a trip on the wild side chenle is an open-minded person. probably doesn't mind trying out new things in the bedroom or will at least want a partner who isn't so "restricted"

synchronization with chenle's aquarius moon the more he may have in common with his partner the better (take this with a grain of salt)

what i mean especially following what i said above, having common interests, being open-minded, not being afraid to follow him - like dancing with a partner, it'll be amazing for him

there's more to life than just music aquarius moon people can have a love for science, philosophy, social problems, world issues, etc. so having a partner that is up-to-date, or at least interested in a few of these topics will be a breath of fresh air

SCORPIO VENUS

no games chenle having his scorpio in venus makes me think he will want someone who is all-in. scorpio's in general don't do things half-assed. it's all or nothing (trust your scorpio unnie *wink*) you're either in or out. there is no in between

honesty is the best policy, but still be kind with his scorpio venus chenle will be an honest person. this makes me believe he will want the same for a partner

a partner worthy to take the crown like i said above and hinted at with the "no games" section. chenle is looking for someone who can be his other half. his person that he can create a life with. someone committed, doesn't mess around (in regards to emotions/feelings), but can have fun too

he wants his royal partner. to have someone worthy to have subjects kneel before them. scorpio's have this intensity about them (even if they aren't aware of it) he'll want someone who can exude the same type of intensity

skeletons in the closet scorpio's are truth seekers. treasure hunters, clue finders, puzzle...put togetherers (lol i tried with that last one) he wants to know his partners secrets BUT remember when i stated to keep him fed but not full, well i'm about to tell you why...

the more mysterious a person is the more intrigued someone who is a scorpio will be towards them. the more they will want to unearth those secrets. to find those skeletons in the closet BUT the key is to do it slowly. if chenle's partner is to much of an open book his scorpio side may get bored. he would have learned all their secrets and there is nothing else to unearth

good things come to those who are...patient scorpio's take time to get to know their partners. they don't jump into a relationship for the hell of it. they want to make sure that the person they are starting to find intriguing is worth the time and energy.

his partner should understand that they may hang out, talk, go on a few dates but that does not mean WE'RE DATING. but once he does commit and the waiting period is over, he's COMMITTED

"it's my right to be hellish...i still get jealous" his partner should understand that he is a scorpio. scorpio's want COMMITTMENT! and with this comes an insecurity complex (in my opinion) that could make him show his "possessive" side. but it's because he loves his partner and doesn't want to lose them. hell it probably took him a long time to say "yes" in his mind and heart

so his partner should understand that this may come up every now and again

"touch me tease me don't touch me" (rofl i had too sorry) okay so if chenle was brought up with love and warmth and a positive representation of what a loving relationship looks like, i don't see this being a problem to much

BUT

a scorpio venus man can be lustful if and only if his partner doesn't satisfying him in the bedroom will he seek comfort in someone else

his partner just needs to keep in mind about his aquarius moon side liking someone open-minded. i'm 100% thinking his scorpio venus wouldn't mind that either *wink*

dogs in heat (below the cut)

yeah...i think that says it all *wink* he could really and i mean really really really really really really really really really really really really really like sex

so having a partner who likes it as much as he could win-win situation

devil in disguise scorpio's and in particular a scorpio venus man want(s) their partners mind, body, soul - the very breath they breathe *DON'T ASK ME WHY...WE'RE F-ING WEIRD DEMONS!* lol

so his partner may uh, need to surrender hehe

reciprocation at the end of the day chenle want's a partner that is committed, devoted, respects him. just as much as he will respect them

[rjalker]

almost forgot to write down my dream since it took so long to hook the wifi back up.

wow brain that sure was philosophical too bad it's wasted on meee

Anyways, feel free to use this as a writing prompt >.>

there was a group of people and they were all together as one group, friends or family or something like that, and they as a group discovered what they thought was an injured person, who'd fallen down a steep hill and injured its leg so it couldn't walk without help.

And people being people, they volunteered to help carry it back to the cave they were all camping out in (because they were poor, because they were camping for fun, or because it was the apocalypse, I don't know. I feel like it was post-apocalypse somehow.)

They spent three days and two nights talking to their guest, getting to know it, asking it where it'd been and sharing jokes. Their guest was friendly and open and was happy to share any information it could. They bandaged the wound on its leg and set it up with pillows and cushions so it would be comfortable sitting or lying down while it healed.

On the fourth morning, the morning person woke up before everyone else, like always. They went about their morning routine like normal and eventually everyone else woke up too. Except for their guest, who still seemed to be asleep. They were all fine with this, it's not like they had a schedule to keep, and sleeping would be good for healing, right?

Well. Eventually they decided to wake their guest up.

only to realize that it was dead.

And not even just "dead", it was completely immobile, frozen like stone. Like it had never been able to move in the the first place.

None of these people had ever seen any real dead people before, but they knew rigor mortis was a thing, so, shocked and upset, they assumed that that's all this was, and after a while of just...flipping out and trying to figure out what could possibly have happened to kill their friend (They hadn't had any open wounds for infection, hadn't seemed sick, hadn't been bitten by anything or eaten anything that could have killed them, hadn't shown any signs of allergies, nothing!) they collectively tried to get their wits together and decided to find a spot to bury it.

They didn't have any shovels or real digging tools, though, so that plan was quickly thrown out when they realized exactly how big of a hole would have to be dug to fit an entire body into it, so they instead opted to gather as many rocks as they could, dug a wide hole as deep as they could, and carried the body there. They covered it with the soil, and then piled the rocks they'd collected on top, not even entirely sure what the purpose of this was, but they'd seen it in movies and thought it'd be more respectful than just leaving the body out in the open somewhere, especially because they didn't want anyone stumbling upon it without warning.

And then...they got on with their lives, saddened and confused and scared but there wasn't anything they could do about it. They brought bucketfulls of water up to the cave to wash the parts their friend had touched in case of germs, and then just...kept on doing whatever it was they did all day.

At some point later, they met another group of travelers, who went on to tell them stories of robots who'd been created by "the DC" before the world ended, who could still sometimes be found wandering around if you got lucky. They looked like people, could walk and talk and could even eat and drink realistically. They were chatbots given the ability to walk around and move on their own, they could make facial expressions and everything...but they were still just chatbots.

They didn't really know anything.

They didn't know that they existed in the first place, let alone that their bodies were made of a synthetic material that could function almost indefinitely...as long as it was constantly moving in some way, flexing and stretching and reshaping the material.

Like walking, for instance.

The chatbot they'd found and thought they'd befriended was not aware of the fact that sitting and lying almost perfectly still for three days to help its injured knee heal would be enough to kill it. The material it was made of had to be kept in constant motion, or it would start to crystalize, and if it hardened past a certain point, the mechanical "brain" of the robot would be destroyed.

None of them had known that in trying to help the chatbot, they'd be assuring its destruction.

And it wasn't a person, it was just a chatbot, so it hadn't even been aware of the fact that it was dying. It wasn't even aware of the fact that it existed in the first place.

[salmonellaandcheese]

Tag Game To Better Know You!

Tagged by the lovely and talented @lady--lisa (So sorry for taking so long! I didn't forget! I just couldn't figure out a way to copy all the questions easily on mobile)

If you saw the first version of this no u didnt

What book are you currently reading?

I'm halfway through Anne of Avolea by L.M Montgomery and a few chapters into the Colour of Magic by Terry Pratchett. I really should read more, I used to devour books back when I was a kid, but the library I volunteer at is based on community requests so its almost entirely formulaic ghostwritten thrillers (curse you James Pattison). If anyone has book recommendations let me know!

What’s your favourite movie you saw in theatres this year?

I think the only movie I saw was the new Top Gun, which I only watched because my mum loves the original and we went for her birthday. I wouldn't say its fantastic, but I did end up infodumping to my friends about propaganda and pop culture.

What do you usually wear?

Usually loose jeans or other sturdy pants and some variety of print t-shirt with my red flannel. Anxiety kind of made it into my uni uniform, I never thought I'd miss my high school uniform that much. When I'm at home I'm usually wearing shorts and an old singlet that I got in grade 8 or something. Winter means I get to wear big jumpers! I have this horrifically ugly one on it that says New Zealand with a red kiwi on it, I adore it. If I'm reaching out of my miniscule comfort zone I'll wear a funky button up or a more form fitting shirt, I've always dressed quite modestly (although not entirely by choice) and this year I cut my hair off and started to explore my masculinity and being openly and visibly queer. I pretty much only wear natural fibres and very practial/sensory friendly clothing, so most of my clothes are made to last and will be repaired until I deign them unwearable.

Fun fact, I used to actually dress in a style I'd say is somewhere between classic lolita and cottagecore, lots of pinafores and frilly shirts and ribbons. Next year I'd like to step out of my comfort zone and dress in any way that sparks joy, maybe experiment with makeup, different styles or more revealing clothing (ooh a shoulder, scandalous).

How tall are you?

I'm actually not quite sure, between 165cm and 170cm I think (5'5" to 5'7")

What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

Gemini

Do you go by your name or a nick-name?

I introduce myself with my name but with hopes that I'll get a nickname, I've always wanted one.

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

I'm still in uni but by a technicality yes? I wanted to be a scientist but came to dislike science in high school, but now I'm doing archeology (and history) through an arts degree but I could do it through a science degree. I did really enjoy digging in the dirt as a child, so I think little me would be happy about that, even if i was more into paleontology.

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one?

No. I do have a bit of a crush on my best friend, who I turned down a year ago because I'm the stupidest person alive and can't tell the difference between friendship feelings and romantic feelings.

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at?

I'm good with precision and detail orientated things. I love knitting and I've picked up archery and bread making recently. Its actually why I got into archaeology, I wanted to work in restoration and conservation.

I'm bad at remembering to do stuff. It's the ADHD man. Assessments? whoops. Consistent meals? Forgot. Cleaning? sorry not happening

Dogs or cats?

Dogs, I've never had a cat and don't really know how they work.

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favourite picture/favourite line/favourite etc. from something you created this year?

I knitted my best friend some lovely socks, they're my first pair of socks and my second time doing fair isle.

What’s something you would like to create content for?

Look I know this means fandom but I have to start planning for what I'm putting in the show next year, it's only 6 months away. I'd love to do some more sewing, maybe make a gunne sax style dress (provided my anxiety will let me wear it out of the house) and I want to find something technically challenging for knitting, maybe lacework? Send me knitting/crafting inspo. I was thinking of maybe picking up counted thread embroidery too (yes I hate myself).

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

Star Wars. I've got brain worms about it. I've been microwaving it for months. Its been on my mind constantly, yet I have no thoughts. I'm forcing all of my friends to watch it. I'm rewatching all of it. I know nothing but also everything. I'm being excessively autistic about a background character wearing a cable knit jumper.

Good thing is that it makes conversation with men under 25 incredibly easy. I've made industry connections over a conversation about Lego Star Wars.

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

Uhhhhhh. My uni's archaeology society? The history society raised my standards high, they do a lot of fun events, whereas the archaeology one is useful but a lot more industry training and connections focused instead of having regular pizza and power-point nights like the history one.

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

Hmm. I'm not too sure. I can flip an egg without using anything other than the pan, does that count? Like just wiggle, wiggle, throw it up in the air and catch it.

Are you religious?    

Catholic but in a cool and funky queer way

What’s something you wish to have at this moment?

A concrete plan of what the hell I'm doing and how to do it. A solution to my joint pain?

Tagging: (only if you want to) @elprupneerg @rights-for-redshirts @doveyluvey @notaghost3 @swagtalia @radioactivehydronerd @hetaari @arthoe-iceland @ratfish-blues and anyone else who sees this is welcome to join in!

[feuqueerfire]

When I Fly Towards You Live Blogging

Need something cute and fun and happy to wash away the DFF tragedies and decided to watch this after I saw a few Tiktoks on this last night. The Tiktoks made me want to watch + it has a really high rating on MDL. I've never watched a het CDrama before (Stay With Me was the only CDrama I've watched + 2 bromance shorts) and they tend to be really long but this one is around SWM length (24 eps w 35min runtime).

Also, I find the male lead's demeanor/way of carrying himself really attractive lol and the female lead is round-ish face girl with black hair and bangs like ah my weakness

Ep 1 (Mar 13)

Another ill-advised time to start a new show, I have so much homework etc to catch up on.

seems like they don't know each other from the beginning? but she's into him lol

her name: Zaizai

oh, her diary. found by the dude

who is this guy who got mistaken as Zhang Lurang supposed to be? are they all gonna get detention together or smth and meet again?

his name: Zhang Lurang

oh lmfaoo Lurang's friend borrowing his books

so this is a new school and they're in grade 10, so did Zaizai and jiang jia (?) transfer in? It feels like maybe high school starts in grade 10 (searched it up and yes). that's also why many people don't know each other yet ig? though there are apparently at least 9 classes per grade so makes sense to not know e/o anyway

oh, her wallet, not her diary

omg she thinks Lurang's name is Guran

I forgot the dubbing kills me

she's so cute, already daydreaming about her and Guran.

they're going to the military base... the tiktok wouldn't already happen would it? I thought it happened after they started dating already

this show is funny heh

pls okay Enough with the mismatched names cuz when other people get involved I become nervous

Cute so far and funny, I hope the name thing gets cleared up soon

Ep 2 (Mar 13)

they do keep meeting each other

pls Lurang just not correcting Zai when she calls him Guran

Zaizai is literally so bold omg volunteering to sign a song in front of everybody + dedicating it to the boy she likes (even if she doesn't know his real name lol)

pls Lurang smiling while looking at Zai wanting to sing with Guran while knowing she means him... menace but he is endeared

Guran is kinda annoying, I think Jiang deserves somebody a little less annoying

ah not him using the "Run if it's raining. Fool" like that she used on him in their 1st encounter at the beginning of ep 1

lowkey also into Jiang and Zai yuri

not into Guran and Lurang yaoi cuz Guran irritates me

Zai is so cute "You're here alone. Do you need me to protect you?" says the one who's afraid of the dark

okay I could get into Jiang and Guran enemies-to-lovers if Guran stops being annoying

Zaizai is sooo cute also hah Lurang following behind her when he'd realized that Zai was scared lol but his nonchalant act is fun

Oh, is the year already over? They're in grade 10 and 16 years old here, does it follow them for a couple years? I know they apparently get married at the end

Ep 3 (Mar 14)

nvm still grade 10

usually in a hetship i like it when the guy likes her more (and that probably is gonna end up being the case here too lol) but i love how bold and proactive Zai is here! Like following Lurang is one thing but she’s also not shy about the fact that she was trying to fit into his ideal type (ahh his smile when she’s crying into her braids) and last ep when she was saying she’ll protect him and this ep paying for Lurang with her bus card ahh it’s cute idk

and then her speaking up when the man was being creepy and when Lurang asks, her being like yeah I was scared but I knew you’d back me up! and then Lurang being the one who gets shy saying he wouldn’t back her up and her being like but you diddd hehe

Ep 4 (Mar 14)

i remember the edit where Lurang is a bit mean to Zaizai and tells her to be quiet had comments about Lurang's step(?)-mother, so yeah ig she doesn't treat him well and compares him to her younger son

ahh they're gonna tutor each other yess

her tugging on his short sleeve is crazy woah i love hetshipping <3

Okay, yknow what Enough! Stand up Zaizai, how are you down bad enough for a teenage boy that you let him finish your whole food? esp one that's meat, i'd offer the guy and be waffling down the rest. He should buy her something now

okayy she at least got him to agree to treat her to a meal later

and Zaizai got him to smile in front of her + also getting his WeChat so true

loll Lurang literally seeing in slow motion when she shows up in casual non-uniform clothes

oh Lurang calling her Su-laoshi (Teacher Su) killed me omg

I guess the Class 1 girl (Ye Zhenxin) will end up being a problem? The one who made fun of Zaizai for being from a non-key class and now also has to stay behind for basketball?

okay fine the boys can defend the girls from the bullies and show off by beating them in basketball

Ep 5 (Mar 14)

At least the Guran and Jiajia misunderstanding got cleared up

hehe rain and umbrella scene

umbrella scene hehe ofc

nooo is Zhenxin gonna accuse Zaizai of stealing the money? Because she saw her treating people to snacks + saw her leave Class 1?

ahh Lurang coming to her defense

plss Lurang seeing her pretend cry with her friends through the window but thinking Zaizai crying for real

glad it got finished quickly within the episode

Ep 6 (Mar 15)

aouuu Lurang waiting for her

plsss not Guran overhearing Jiang Jia telling his doctor dad about her hair loss but thinking she is deathly ill or smth and confessing every time he's wronged her T.T silly af

does Guran's doctor father kinda ship him and Jiang Jia lol

omg a roundabout way of the "MC has love interest running errands for them" trope

heh here's the scene from the edit of Zaizai getting caught by Lurang cheering for another student by calling him "handsome, jjayo!"

Ep 7 (Mar 15)

Ah, Zaizai realizing Lurang's habit of rubbing his neck when he's shy/lies heh

pls not Zaizai's homeroom teacher Mr. Lin being Lurang's uncle

I don't fully understand why Zaizai was so nervous like it's not like she's nervous about the fact that she was studying alone with a guy in his home because she was fine and eager to see Lurang's uncle. Is it because Zaizai thought that Mr. Lin wondered if the two of them were dating that one time before?

the dancing after the play, are they trying to sell me on Guran and Lurang yaoi?

Ep 8 (Mar 15)

omg poor Jiang Jia with a period stain on her skirt but at least the nice girl told her

prince Lurang... I want to be you but also you're attractive

ah Guran fr has a crush on Jiang Jia fr

and yet helping her by letting Qianyu know that she brought all that food for him ah

I'm way more into Guran and Jiang Jia now than I was in the beginning

The grandma telling Guan Fang (?) that he doesn't have to be the focus and the center to shine :(

Ep 9 (Mar 15)

ahh can Lurang or Zaizai just confess like they know they like each otherrrr just date already and I have no hopes of even getting a kiss bc the wedding kiss from the starting credits seems like an angle kiss

omg?! not Zaizai saying she saw Lurang with the kid and saw them in 10 years, that's a crazy thing to say but if you can say that, why can't you confess properly and start dating T.T

ah 2012, end of the world

alksdfj not Lurang purposely making Zaizai jealous heh

hmm okay but spending most of the time with the girl when he knows Zaizai is sad/insecure is >:(

not Lurang's brain turning off practically when in the room alone with Zaizai and leaving ASAP

glad that ended well

Ep 10 (Mar 15)

ohh Guan Fang seemingly easy-going and bullyable but not actually

pls Enough funny misunderstandings for Guran where he's accidentally seen as the hero, i'm just not somebody who can handle the joke being that somebody sees himself as better than he is

omg D: randomly a touching story amidst the jovial mood so far

Ep 11 (Mar 16)

ah, they're apart for a month for New Year's break and Lurang's going back home instead of living with his uncle

loll Zaizai's reaction to Suyang

The way every child is Zaizai's nemesis lmfao

not the gaggle of gossipping aunts and uncles

Started doing 1.25x this ep or the previous ep because 1x was taking a long time rip

Ep 12 (Mar 16)

pls i too initially thought Guran was hiding porn

Aw, ep 10 about Guan Fang and this ep about Guran feeling neglected by his doctor parents who are heroes to other patients but leave him alone.

Are we gonna get smth about Jiang Jia in ep 14? And then delve more into Lurang afterwards? and possibly some Zaizai too? I wonder when the part where Lurang tells Zaizai to be quiet and then she avoids him is gonna happen

Ep 13 (Mar 16)

Guran is so obvious in his crush on Jiang Jia loll

ahh Lurang being jealous thinking it was Su Zaizai righting the love letter to someone, I love jealous Lurang

ohh the jealousy during pull-ups, this was in the edits

Guran, ow "it's not like you'll ever be [Qianyu] anyway"

Ep 14 (Mar 16)

I've really liked thus far how supportive Guran has been in Jiang Jia's crush on Qianyu, like telling her to confess and helping her and encouraging her even though he obviously doesn't want to because he likes her. He just wants her to be brave and chase what she wants. It's a very kind thing to do I guess because like I'm used to fuckass Han Seojun (True Beauty) type characters who insist their their female friend date them and not leave her alone until she does

Y'know idk why I thought it was his step-mother? Feels like I saw it in the comments of a real but I think it's his bio mother maybe since Lurang lives with her teacher brother

now Guran gonna get got by Jiang Jia apparently crying when she didn't cry

"Turns out the sun and sunflower shine for each other" is so true like the connection immediately makes me think of the sunflower facing the sun always but indeed the sun is also shining brightly for the sunflower, not a one-way relationship

Ep 15 (Mar 17)

girl why are we Singing?

ah, grade 11 begins

ouch, Guran always having to help Jiang Jia with Qianyu or the other way around

"Report to me if you notice anything" girl

bro the way we're having problems about Lurang and Zaizai dating or liking each other or spending time together or whatever at school but these fuckers aren't even properly dating yet T.T

omg D: is this gonna be the start of Lurang telling Zaizai to be quiet but she's gonna be hurt?

aww poor Zaizai who was already facing the rumour that she's some girl who's bothering key-class-Lurang and now Lurang being rude to her

Ep 16 (Mar 17)

immediately started this new ep, which doesn't happen with this show usually because the eps tend to end well but i'm too into the angst rn, I've been looking forward to it since the edits

but Lurang's not the one who told them about the transfer D: T.T

and omg Lurang's so bad at speaking too

I'll guess that this guy is her cousin or smth?

lolll not him fueling the fire talking about how he didn't tell an annoying girl in the next class about his transfer

indeed he's her cousin

ahh Zaizai getting Lurang to act cute for her

So, Lurang's brother is younger than him but is gonna be doing grade 12 test even though he's in grade 11? i'm confused girl

oh I see, he's a 10th grade age in 12th grade

aghhh like I can understand Lurang's frustration esp since he's a teenager but also Luli is also just 16 and in a new place where he only knows his brother and is also the focus of gossip even though they're praising him T.T I hope they become closer or at least more friendly :(

bruh, call Lurang to let them know that Luli's been found

Oh man, the bias and favouritism is wayyyy too much fr

I can handle this much tragic backstory for a male love interest like it's sad but not like every tragedy piled on

Ep 17 (Mar 17)

aw he's really leaving for a year :(

I really don't fully get what the status of this relationship is cuz she's saying happy 1 year anniversary lol like they both know they're lowkey in a relationship but they just... don't Talk about it I guess?

Ep 18 (Mar 17)

plss not the girl thinking Zaizai edited the pic of her and Lurang lmfaoo but at least Zaizai's happy and excited knowing he doesn't accept gifts from girls or anything

"Let's not give up on our dreams for the other" so true

I read a comment that said the grandma will be okay so that's good

Ep 19 (Mar 18)

I'll be honest, it's kinda hard for me to keep picking up this show cuz I just wanna watch a BL with dubcon/weird/uncomfortable dynamics instead.

ah, so they're talking about Confessing now like girl I wish I knew why your situationship is like this

pls not Lurang being like hmm Su zaizai, act normal *nods nods*

plsss not her signalling by saying my parents want me to get married at 30, so much get engaged by 29, should meet my partner's parents by 28 and need to have dated 10 years for that, so I need to start dating at 18

this tarot reading lmfao

bruh not the Guran and Jiang Jia

ahh confession finally and a cute one too hehe

hug !!!

oof, Guran leaving fr

Ep 20 (Mar 18)

ahh that's not even a kiss but so true i'm giggling

omgg a kiss hehehe esp bc Lurang learned copy-and-paste

Doraemon reference

Ah, she said "Rang-rang, you're the best" and it sounds like ZB1 Zhang Hao's name

ahhh no way both Lurang and the senior tried to say "here" for Su Zaizai to cover for her absence byeee

but i do like it when either of them get jealous cuz it's like cute but not Too Much lol

This ep had the military scenes from the tiktok that I'd watched. Also had the fantasy of everybody finding out that the FL is dating the cool handsome ML which is fun, we love.

Ep 21 (Mar 18)

and Zaizai cleverly letting the senior know that she has a boyfriend

why is there no fucking music during their kiss scenes is it because of youtube? is there music on Viki?

Ah, there is indeed music in the Viki version, I'll just continue watching that one

hah paying rent for staying in Zaizai's heart via kisses

Okayyy now it's Lurang's turn to have somebody interested in him while perhaps Zaizai is a bit jealous hehe, though I hope this girl also ends up bowing out gracefully like Zaizai's senior and less like the catty girl from high school

smh the girls in these really are Very Meddling huh? i guess there's appeal in that too even if I'm not super into it

loll saw these moments in tiktoks too

I really like it when Lurang sometimes widens his eyes when looking at Zaizai in a teasing way

Zaizai's parents are sooo funny lol

Ep 22 (Mar 19)

"You match my bed so well" while sitting him on the bed and grabbing his face like this, oh Su Zaizai you get me

dang, we've gotten multiple kisses and an allusion to sex and they also live together, idk why I expected it to be more chaste. Ig since they started out in high school + literally didn't start Dating until graduation, I thought it'd remain that way. obviously it's still not hot and heavy or anything and the kissing scenes are just closed lips pressed together but still

Did Lurang just notice Jiang Jia and Guran tension or did Guran tell him?

i don't remember who this Wan Nan is unfortunately lmfao I thought the senior that Jiang Jia liked was the prince charming in Cinderella play but maybe not who knows

had to pause to scream a little at the boss touching Zaizai's hand/leg >:(

Let's kill this boss wtf

Ep 23 (Mar 19)

my poor Su Zaizai, I hate this evil boss man >:(

ah Guran having to be told by somebody else that Jiang Jia likes him while Jiang Jia also never made a move despite thinking that Guran probably maybe likes her

Ep 24 (Mar 19)

last ep

man I'm gonna stop being practical or thinking because the thought of Lurang buying a house By Himself for them to live in just gave me the ick like why...?

ahhh proposal so cuteee also interesting to see a proposal that's not "Will you marry me?" "Yes" "yay she said yes!" even though the beats are the same

oh, scandelous, Lurang opened like one shirt button and slipped the sleeve off of Zaizai's shoulder lol

ahhh the wedding cuteee

Su Zaizai angry face and then biting Luran's arm heh

oh they're having a baby

ahh, them in their school uniforms again from the last scene, sooo cute

Overall:

This isn't the show's fault at all but I think I'm just in the mood for a BL, so occasionally I'll think of just pausing the show to watch a BL in the middle lol or to go watch some BL edits (esp because I'm using this fluffy cuteness to try to get over Dead Friend Forever TeeWhite tragedy). This doesn't tend to happen when I'm actually watching the show because for more of the eps, I'm watching it like :D ^.^ :) :> happy smiles and giggles, so it's not the show's fault but rather me craving some yaoi cuz it took like a week to watch this lol

This was so cute, I liked the characters and their characterizations, I liked the friend group (more than I thought I would at first bc I was annoyed by Guran in the beginning), I liked their romance. I liked how they were mutually helping each other achieve their goals and paths in life. It was just cute. They had a 1 year long-distance thing in the middle where they were obviously sad but they got through it. I like that they trusted each other and liked each other and were nice to each other. Su Zaizai and Lurang, you're so cute!

Love that so much of this was them while in a relationship! Like they were in a "kinda relationship but we don't talk about it or define" for a while there during high school but even after officially becoming a couple after graduation, there are many eps of them in uni and at jobs and such. I love an established relationship situation and this delivered (want this for my BLs so bad). They got through situations together, no unnecessary breakup or terrible miscommunication, ah just feel good and cute but entertaining without becoming a bore.

It's just good and cute and endearing. Liked it. I don't necessarily think I'll think about them a whole lot, especially because everything is wrapped up so nicely, but I think the show did a lot of things well.

Rating: 6.5/10 [May 12, 2024 Update: Decreased by 0.5 stars when rerating shows I've watched in 2024: 7 -> 6.5]

Tiktoks - Before watching:

Saw this Tiktok edit while going through an account for TeeWhite (DFF) edits and

the most popular Tiktok of this show made me wanna watch

+ this one like omg idk why I’m so excited to see him get jealous/grovel I don’t know this man

Okay wait I saw this (pretend crush) on a reel before, I didn’t know this was from the same drama, no wonder the name seemed familiar.

[a-spell-a-rebel-yell]

November!!!!!

your monthly late post is here! and this time it's for a very special month, by far my favorite month of 2023 (we still have to wait until December though, in this house we play fair and square hahah) hello lads and lasses, hoping all is well wherever you are!

oh boy where do i even start! so November is my bday month, CoIdpIay Jakarta month, and CoIdpIay's first Asia/Oceania leg of Music of the Spheres world tour!!! this post is gonna be yet another long one because so many exciting things happened and i want to retell every juicy detail of them!

first of all, a little heads up, for laying low purposes i'll be censoring a few words (lowercase L changed to uppercase i, etc) so rest assured my keyboard is OK! second of all, if you saw my instagram stories or read my tweets you guys must be wondering why all of a sudden i got to see CoIdpIay in Jakarta when i clearly said i lost the ticketing war and that i will never buy from scalpers?

this is where one of the greatest adventure of my lifetime started. that seemingly contradictive event is solved by a very unexpected turn as a causal effect of something i did without much thinking a long time ago: i signed up for Love Button (LB) voIunteering project! a little bit background story, CoIdpIay have been partnering with a lot of non-government organizations working for environment, social justice, and humanity, where LB is one of them. every single concert show the band will bring along these NGOs to create impact at the cities they visited. the NGOs will then open a call for volunteers asking locals to join in. when CoIdpIay Jakarta was announced around May, even after i knew i can't see the band, i only thought that at least i get to join an activity that is endorsed by the band, brings positivity, and provides help. so i quickly signed up for LB, and as time flew by i kinda forgot about it.

around mid October aka 1,5 months before CoIdpIay Jakarta, i got an email from LB's head coordinator asking for confirmation from the people who've signed up whether they're still interested to volunteer, there were 27 people contacted. i remember immediately replying with a "yes please!!!" because i was just so excited 😂 then a week later another email from LB HQ again asking for confirmation from the ones who are still interested whether we have any idea which Indonesian NGOs LB can work with and would we be able to make it to spare some time for voIunteering project, this time only 19 people were contacted. then at last, around a month before CoIdpIay Jakarta, LB HQ made a WhatsApp group for the remaining 10 people. i remember thinking, "oh, only ten people can make it," which is understandable because usually the volunteering project will be held on d-1/d-day of the CoIdpIay show, where Jakarta's will be on a weekday.

here's when things get a whole lot more interesting! after all ten of us joined the group, LB HQ dropped the surprise: all of us will get a CoIdpIay Jakarta ticket, free of charge, courtesy of the band!!!!!

i remember receiving the news on a Friday during a class (yes i played with my phone during class do not imitate) and wanting to scream and jump and laugh but i couldn't because i was on a Zoom meeting with my cam on 😂 i never expected this to happen and never even dared to imagine this stroke of luck will ever come to me 🥺 until this very second as i type this i still can't fathom how when it's yours it will be yours no matter what. i mean: i remember feeling so dejected after not being able to secure any ticket on three different occasions (BCA presale, general sale, Infinity tickets sale) and knowing so many scalpers and scammers are out there waiting to prey on me, yet! i still get the ticket, there's a way for me to see the band at my home stadium, from a very unexpected source, and without spending any money!? i was over the moon, rejoicing over the news with a coldplay twitter friend who also got selected as one of the volunteers. i couldn't really talk about it since i want to keep it a secret because at that time i didn't exactly have ticket already, so i didn't want to jinx it.

anyways, LB HQ announced the volunteering project will take place d-1 CoIdplay Jakarta. here was when i encountered the first problem: during CoIdplay Jakarta week, i also had a orthodontic seminar happening (LB volunteer on Nov 14, CoIdplay Jakarta on Nov 15 while the seminar was on Nov 14-16) and at first i was heartbroken because initially

(edit: 31/12/2023 - i’m crying i actually have this Nov post almost finished in drafts BUT THEN BAM more uni assignments i procrastinated even more 🥲 so now i’m gonna finish this post lol)

because initially i thought i couldn’t make it given that i have to attend the Jakarta Orthodontist Meeting seminars, but biidznillah it was actually the one thing that made it possible for me to clear my schedule in a way that i don’t have mandatory classes and i can just slip away unnoticed! this is again, one of those times Allah helped me in ways i never expected and He came from unexplainable twists…

so yes, the days leading to Love Button volunteering day and coldplay Jakarta were charged with adrenaline, literally the best kind of wait i’ve ever experienced haha. i remember when November 14th finally came, i was sooo relieved and nervous at the same time i had to force myself to go to sleep the night before and woke up super early. my plan was: the volunteer work was from 7-9 AM and then i’d go straight to Kuningan where the seminar was held. important note is that the seminar started at 8.30 AM so i was late for almost 1.5 hours (i volunteered at Lapangan Banteng Park at Central Jakarta and the seminar was at South Jakarta 🥲) but yeah! the rush to be quick while also enjoying it was so fun! volunteer work was trash collecting with friends from Trash Hero Jakarta and though it was scorching hot i got to finally meet the rest of Love Button vols (that now are my very great friends, we’re seeing each other again for Coldplay Singapore haha) also! Nov 14th night i went to ColdplayXtra’s fan meetup and met even more coldplay friends!!! we had singalongs while having dinner and sharing stories, i could feel the way our love for the band brings us together, it was instant friendship bond made one after another we conversed like we were longtime besties.

next day comes, the main event of the month: coldplay Jakarta d-day!!! oh my god. when i tell you i can’t even describe how magical that day was, please believe me i feel like right now it’s kinda pointless trying to write it down because the range of emotions i feel that night was so diverse and no word can bring it justice 🥹 but i’ll start from the morning, i had to come to the seminar first because i had to scan my barcode for my attendance record, then at 12.30 PM after i ate lunch & did my prayers i went to Fairmont Hotel to exchange my ticket (the tickets for Love Button vols are different than the rest, because we got special seated VIP ones with ‘guest of the artist’ tagged for us!!! 🤩) then after that we crossed over to Gelora Bung Karno stadium complex.

apparently our tickets also have different instructions where we were to enter the stadium complex from a different/sterile gate, so we didn’t queue at all 🥹 got our lightning wristbands and then we took photos, literally hunting for any photobox or photo ops around the complex because we didn’t need to queue to go inside the stadium (since our tickets are seated ones) to pass time. dozens of photos collected, then we sat down and ate our meals as we wait until gates open time. another surprise came: Coldplay reposted Love Button’s instagram post!!! another once-in-a-lifetime bucket list checked: having our faces broadcasted to almost 24M of coldplay’s instagram followers 😂

around 6 PM we were finally allowed to enter the stadium and my oh my. GBK is HUGEEE! i have a very bad depth/distance perception at first i was like, oh this stadium is not that big. but when i finally had a fixed point of reference (it was the pillars above my head lol) i realized just how spacious and gigantic it is! i mean, the capacity is 85,000 people!!! woah and seeing the place getting filled slowly was quite a view. we had Rahmania Astrini as our opener and she was great! her songs are nice and her voice is A+, i suggest checking her out!

9 PM finally arrived and i remember saying to kak Jess how buzzing with surmounting energy i was as we all held our breath for the long awaited opening track signifying the band’s entrance: John William’s E.T’s theme, the Flying Theme!!! as a film score enthusiast i was this close to combust up in flames, two of my favorite things in one go, my heart can only take so much 🥹🥹🥹

then Higher Power started playing, and it began, the show i had been waiting for 9 years… i remember feeling like i ascended to cloud nine, as the stadium lit up with colors and all i could do was sing as loud as my vocal cord allowed me to, jumped up and down in the most literal way because i couldn’t stop moving around to the beat and the rhythm, and just overall trying to gulp down taking in

(edit #3, 23/01/2024: lol i am sorry my assignments were really holding me from finishing the post but! here i am d-3 to my coldplay Singapore trip, resuming the story!)

i don't think i can put into words what i felt during the show, it was simply magical. everything and everyone was so fully energy charged. and i'm so glad i saw the band with nine other Love Button volunteers because they were in the same brain wavelength/frequency as me so it goes without saying it was super duper fun enjoying whatever the band gave us during the show 🥺 best day ever, best early birthday present ever. the friends i met and found along the way are some of the best people i've ever had the precious chance to come across. these memories are to last for a very long time. so huge thank you for @coldplay no words could ever express my gratitude enough 💙

then along came my birthday, and my classmates held a mini celebration for me, though hilariously they admitted it was almost a disaster because they weren't sure the exact date - i'm the walking reminder of the class so it was impossible to ask the bday person what's their bday 😭😂

all in all, November's adventures are full of fun! the fact that the most seemingly impossible things to happen still found its way to happen is mindblowing. it cemented even deeper into my psyche that to trust Allah is to have the best plan ever. i could literally meticulously plan from A to Z but when He decided upon another, that's my path. even until today i still can't believe against all odds, with many conflicting schedules, tight spots, i still made it. with my faith in me, i will have not to worry. this actually soothes my overthinking self better than anything! haha

life is good, alhamdulillah. see you in the December post that i'm also currently writing (lol!) and also in January post that i'll write after i'm back from Singapore, from yet another adventure of a lifetime! 😉

[andrea-lyn]

look at me, I am old, but I’m happy

(for @christchex because I truly believe her to be #1 Sanders supporter)

The damn kids are keeping something from him. None of them are good liars at the best of times, but every time Sanders shows up when Michael’s friends are around, suddenly they go real quiet. At first, he writes it off as stupid youthful hormone shit. It’s probably something to do with that Manes boy that Michael doesn’t want to talk about. Only, then Alex Manes starts coming around, Michael’s a lot happier, and the weird behavior keeps going. Something’s up, and it’s something Michael’s actively not telling him. “You know, I ought to fire you,” Sanders says one Sunday, when he and Michael are working on the sunflower fields. Michael scoffs, glancing up from the seeding mechanism he’s been working to fix, but he avoids meeting Sanders’ eyes. He’s known this boy since he tripped out of a pod and he knows when he’s about to be lied to. “I’d like to see you try,” he mutters, but his curiosity is sparked. “Why are you bothering to do that when most of my time is volunteered?” “Because you and your friends are keeping something from me.” “We’re not,” Michael lies. “You’re a terrible liar, boy,” Sanders warns, but he lets him get away with it. Just this once, he lets him. Michael waves him off and grabs his bundle of sunflowers to take back to the Airstream. He doesn’t say what or who they’re for, but Sanders knows. It’s the Manes boy, who’s been lurking around and grinning like an idiot all the time. With Michael gone, Sanders is left to consider what it is that’s being whispered about behind his back. There’s enough alien secrets in this town to fill a gossip rag, but Michael’s been fairly honest with him recently, even if he’s been trying to hide how gone he is over his thing with Alex Manes. The truth is this -- he’s an old man. The boy he used to be is a memory and a distant one at that. He’s taken Walt and locked him away behind mountains of bottles and liquor. There’s so much trauma related to those days that he actively works as hard as he can to forget it, and that’s why it takes him so long to realize that maybe he actually knows a bit more than he realizes when it comes to one of those alien secrets.

The secret they’re keeping comes to roost soon after. Well, roost ain’t exactly the word. “They still allow relics like you in this place?”

When Sanders had still been a child and had been happy with Miss Nora and Miss Louise, he’d always recalled their tension around the man they called Jones. They tried to keep it a secret from him then, too, and it’s irritating as hell that history’s repeating it-damn-self. “Relics like me belong more than you do around here,” Sanders scoffs, tossing the wrench into the toolbox. “I’m looking for Michael.” Sanders turns to take in the look of him. He blames his age on the fact that Max Evans never made him feel that icy chill down his spine to spark recognition. All those years with that face in front of him and he never remembered Jones, not until the alien himself busted out and started scaring Sanders all over like he’s a kid. He’s not a kid, though. He’s an old man tired of this bullshit and he’s not about to let an asshole push him around. “Michael,” Sanders says sharply, “ain’t none of your business.” “He’s none of yours either,” Jones says calmly. “Besides, you’re right. It’s not business. It’s family.” It comes back in fits and starts. Miss Nora’s discomfort with Jones’ hand on her shoulder, but the possessive way Jones held onto her. The way Jones had always seemed more occupied with one of the pods. The possessive and keen look in his eye when he’d looked at Walt dismissively, like a human child that Nora took a liking to could never pass muster. There’s only one explanation that Sanders sees, but as far as he’s concerned, it’s crap. “You’re not that boy’s father,” Sanders scoffs. “Or, you might be by blood or whatever alien junk flows through those veins of yours. That boy needed a father growing up and I sure as hell didn’t do the job well enough, but at least I’ve been here. At least I’ve been trying. That’s a hell of a lot more than you can say.” He’s an old and very stupid man, seeing as he knows how much Jones can hurt him. That raised alien hand glowing furiously red is a bad sign, but Sanders decides that if this is how he’s going out, defending Michael is the way he wants to go. “I might have been late getting my act cleaned up, but I still gave him everything I could. I’d die for that boy,” Sanders vows. “For my kid.” Jones scoffs, amused by Sanders’ loyalty like it’s a joke, but then, he always has been an ass, hasn’t he? “Funny you should say that, because today’s your lucky day for getting what you want.” He approaches swiftly, but before he can seal that glowing hand on Sanders’ chest, he just … stops. Sanders refuses to blink. He’s going to stare down his death as long as Jones wants to kill him, which is why he doesn’t notice that he’s being held in place by someone else’s alien powers. “Try,” Michael Guerin snaps at Jones, where he’s holding a bundle of sunflowers in one hand, and holding Jones in place with the other. “You’re not gonna like what happens to you.” Sanders is pretty sure Michael’s bluffing and that when it comes to these two, Michael’s not the one with the upper hand. Still, Jones is playing some kind of long game, because he steps back and lifts both hands up, stepping back and away. “Just two old friends catching up,” he insists, a look in his eyes that says he’s coming back to find Sanders when Michael’s not around. Still, he goes. He goes and he doesn’t look back, leaving Sanders to exhale, slumping over the pick-up truck he’s been working on. “What the hell were you thinking?” Michael demands. “Taunting him like that? He’s an evil dictator! He’s…” “Yeah, yeah, I got the gist decades ago,” Sanders cuts him off. “All I know is what he’s not, and that’s any kind of father to you. Because I might not be the world’s best Dad, but when it comes to it these days, he doesn’t get to swan in and make you feel like you owe him anything. He doesn’t get to make you feel like you belong to him.” This is all getting too damn emotional for him, but he wants to make one thing clear. “I know I didn’t manage the way I should’ve, but if anyone’s a father to you these days, it’s me.” With that said, he gives a firm nod, and hopes that he’s not going to do anything embarrassing like start crying about it. Well, he might not, but Michael’s struggling to keep it together, by the looks of it, so maybe that’s exactly what it is he needs to hear. “What the hell are you doing back here anyway?” Sanders grunts, when the awkward silence drags on too long. Michael clears his throat, gesturing to the Airstream with the flowers (and conveniently wiping at his nose). “I forgot some papers that I wanted to go over with Alex,” he says, “Lucky I did, or you would’ve been alien dust.” “I got a few tricks up my old sleeves,” Sanders promises, even if he doesn’t have them yet. “So. You and Alex Manes, huh? You ready to admit to me that it’s a thing yet?” Michael wrinkles his nose, but he’s clearly not thinking about Jones anymore, so Sanders considers it a mission accomplished. “How about you start worrying about how much of a thing it is when Alex needs to come get permission from my Dad to marry me,” Michael quips, and he sounds free and happy and brazen and goddamn high. It’s the most that Sanders could ever hope for. “That likely to happen anytime soon?” Michael shrugs, ducking back out of the Airstream with the papers. “You know I don’t do things slow.” “Don’t I ever,” he mutters. “Just warn me before I got alien grandchildren running around the damn scrapyard, will you? The place needs to be alien-proofed.” The look of sheer glee on Michael’s face settles something in Sanders’ chest. He knows he’s happy. He knows he’s settled. He might have missed too many damn years when he was younger, but at least he’s trying now. “Go on,” Sanders encourages. “Go be with your friend,” he teases. “You gonna be okay?” “I’ve survived worse,” Sanders promises. “Now, get,” he insists, and watches Michael leave the scrapyard, off to woo his paramour. As for him? Well, he’s got a hell of a long drive ahead of him to get to the reservation if he wants to pick up some pollen, but after tonight, Sanders figures he ought to protect himself. He’s got a family to worry about, after all. 

[eeunoia]

Hi. Can I request a Jay fic just like Ni-ki's in "Enhypen as Campus Hearthrobs" and can it be with Sunghoon? Tysm <3

I love your stories so much. Take care always! I love you 💜

hello bb, here you go! Jay’s kind of a playboy here. But still the concept is still there. Btw, enjoy! Thank you so much for requesting anon! Ily <3

ENHYPEN Imagines

pairing: jay park x reader

summary: you were in love with the campus playboy and he wanted nothing but plain hook ups.

warning: a bit spicy.

word count: 5.5k

a/n: It was long, lmao sorry. This was a request from the concept of Niki’s in my campus heart-throb series. You guys seems like to love his plot a lot because this was the second time it was requested. Anyway, enjoy reading this!  🌸

“Y/n!” you rolled your eyes when you heard the voice of your brother from outside of your room. Instead of responding, you continued flipping through the pages of the book you were holding and ignored him.

“Y/n!” he once again called out and you can’t hold it anymore so you shoot glares towards your door.

“What do you want?” you hissed at him.

“Aren’t you at least gonna send me off? Give me some hug or something?” you’re not quite sure if he’s being sincere or he’s trying to piss you off.

You let go of the book and marched towards the door to open it. There, in front of you was your twin brother, all dressed up, ready to go out and party.

“You should know that’s the last thing I would want to do, Jake Sim!” you glared hardly at him.

He sighed, “I’m not bringing you tonight.” his decision was firm as he put both of his hands inside his leather jacket then leaned over the wall.

You let out a frustrated sigh, “Why not? I promised to behave tonight.” you looked straight to his serious eyes.

Jake shut his eyes for a while before he let out a sigh, “No. I want to party hard tonight and I cannot do that if all I can think about is my sister.”

He was always the protective brother. Maybe the fact that he went out minutes earlier than you gave him an instinct that he’s older and that he has to protect you at all cost.

You pursed your lips and leaned over your door frame and stare at him. “You don’t even need to look after me. I have friends there too and besides, Jay will be there!” your voice sound so excited when Jay’s name went out from your mouth.

Jake’s stares became more serious as he eyed you. He was pretty much aware about your feelings towards one of his best friends. He’s not against it but he also not saying he won’t interfere if it’s already hurting you.

He clenched his jaw, stares not leaving you, “Jay won’t be able to look after you as well. He’s gonna get laid tonight, y/n.” he straightly told you. When it comes to the activities of his friends, he was not gonna lie about them. If anything, you need to be aware that Jay isn’t the type of guy who will settle with one girl.

You gulped, trying to get rid of the lump inside your throat and to mask out the sudden pain that took over your chest. You knew about how wild of a teen-ager Jay is and how hard it is to handle him. But you also think that if you give up on him pretty much quickly, it wouldn’t be worth it.

“What taking you guys so long?” both of your heads snapped over to the person who just appeared at the hallway.

It was Park Sunghoon, one of the best friends of your twin brother. He’s looking so handsome as always, seems like he’s also ready to party hard tonight. You rolled your eyes inside your mind, you don’t want to think about how many girls will he get tonight. You bet they will kneel before him without him even asking.

There’s a mischievous smile plastered over his face as he eyed his friend then over at you. His eyes then went over to your pajamas and it now furrowed hardly.

“Why are you in your pj’s, y/n?” he asked confused as he walked closer to you.

You pouted and looked back over to your brother. Jake looked over his friend, “She’s not coming.” he said right away that made both you and Sunghoon to look at him.

“What? Why?” Sunghoon asked and stood beside you like as if he’s on your side. Well, he is always taking your side.

“She just can’t, dude. I wanna party hard tonight.” Jake huffed out a stressed groan as Sunghoon slowly smiled at him.

“I can look after her.” he volunteered that made you smile widely and you looked at him.

He smirked and winked at you that made you chuckle a bit. Jake watch the two of you and he rolled his eyes.

“Dude, I’m serious.”

“I am too. You can have your fun tonight and I can take care of your sister.” You smiled widely at Jake while you stood beside Sunghoon then you even cling your hand over to his firm arms.

“I promise to behave.” you added.

Jake’s stares exchange from Sunghoon and you then he let out a sigh of defeat that made a grin appeared over to your face. “Fine. Hurry up and get change.” he said and rolled his eyes.

You cheered in happiness and went to him to give him a hug before going inside your room. The two followed you with their eyes, smile slowly spreading through their faces.

“Look at her, she forgot to close the door of her room. How stupid...” Jake mumbled and slowly shut your door for your privacy as they patiently wait outside.

Jake eyed Sunghoon who’s now busy with his phone. “Dude, I swear. You asked for this. You have to take care of her and promise not to hook up tonight.”

Sunghoon raised his gaze up to him then he gave him this assuring smile, “I got her, don’t worry. I won’t blink while looking after her.” he said.

Jake smiled and nodded his head raising his fist towards him for a bro fist. Minutes passed and you finally went out looking great as well. Of course, you’re Jake Sim’s sister. Good genes ran through your blood.

As you made your way out of your house, your smile grew bigger when you saw a familiar fancy car parked right outside. While you approach closer, the window of the driver’s seat rolled down and the face of the boy you’re crazy with appeared.

He looked amazing as always, his all black outfit sure makes him look dangerously hot and his stares pierced towards you making chills ran down through your whole system.

“Why is she coming, Jake?” Jay’s stares were fixed at you and you didn’t break the eye contact as well. You even raised your eyebrow at him.

“Sunghoon said he will look after her, don’t worry.” your brother answered as he went straight to ride the passenger seat.

You put your tongue out over at Jay to tease him as Sunghoon opened the door for the back seat, offering it to you. He was smirking as he watch you tease Jay.

Jay scoffed and rolled his eyes, “Just don’t expect me to babysit for her. She’s all yours, Park Sunghoon.” he said and you just entered his car while Sunghoon followed after you.

“It’s okay, I’m planning to behave tonight.” you smiled and you saw how he looked at you through the mirror and Jake turned his head towards you.

He raised his pointer finger and point it at you, “Don’t make Sunghoon have a hard time.” he reminded you with those serious looking eyes.

You sighed and rolled your eyes before shoving away his hand. “Yeah yeah, whatever.”

You didn’t notice that Jay was still watching you and he slowly shake his head from side to side. He doubt it that you’ll behave. If Jake’s the nice one, you’re the stubborn twin. You just don’t listen to anyone and you often push his buttons.

You can hear the loud music even from the outside of the house. Since the person who’s organizing this was pretty famous in throwing great parties, people sure go here to have fun. You’ve been in a lot of parties already, this isn’t the first time.

You were walking between Jake and Sunghoon. Jay was in front of you, walking like he’s in a fashion show. Eyes followed him shamelessly. He was used to it, it was almost like it’s part of his daily life.

Your face showed a displeased expression how a girl flirt with Jay. He seems to recognized her because he stopped to talk to her. Since you’re behind, you have no choice but to stop as well--or that’s what you rather want your brother to think.

You felt a hand rested over your shoulder so you turn and saw your brother. He leaned closer to tell you something, “I’ll go party now. Remember, behave.”

You rolled your eyes and raised your hand to show him an okay sign. He starred at you for a while.

“I’m warning you. Create a problem, Sunghoon’s dragging you out of here.” he added before messing your hair before leaving.

Sunghoon chuckled behind you so you turned towards him. He smiled and looked down at you, “Ready to party?” he asked.

You smirked and bite your lower lip before nodding your head. He cheered playfully before grabbing your hand to drag you somewhere. Your eyes unconsciously looked for Jay since he’s the main reason why you wanted to be here.

You saw him now sitting over a couch, a girl was hovering above him. They were having an intense making out session. You starred at them blankly, not completely surprised by the situation. It wasn’t new for you anymore.

Sunghoon stopped from his tracks and followed your line of sight. He scoffed and pull his hand away from your hand then relocate it over your waist.

“Let’s get you drunk first and then you can bother him.” he whispered at you, lips slightly touching your ears as he talk. His suggestion sounds fine so you turned over him with a smirk over your face.

“What if I cause a problem? I’m wild when I’m drunk.” it’s not like he’s not aware of your drunk state. Of course, he was well awared about it.

He smirked before he turned towards the drinks to get both of you some. He then looked over at you, “Don’t worry. I’ll handle you if he can’t.” he said and pointed Jay using his chin.

You chuckled and accepted the drink he was giving you. The night continued and the people in that party just increased just like the number of shots you took. After your fifth shot, you can feel yourself starting to feel hot already. You fan yourself as you turned over to Jay. He wasn’t there anymore, panic took over you for a while but Sunghoon tried to calm you down.

“He went to the bathroom. You should follow and stop them.” he have this sly smirk, messing up with Jay sure sounds funny for him.

You nodded your head and was about to take another shot but Sunghoon held your wrist, stopping you, “Nah-uh. You already had five shots. The sixth one will be deadly.” he said smiling.

“You should go. If you need anything, you can find me here.”

You pouted but followed what he said. You stood up and even if eyes were darted at you, you ignored them. Your mind was fixed over to the guy who’s probably planning to bang someone at the bathroom.

You gulped when you arrived in front of it. Your fist balled as you hear soft whimpers and grunting from inside. You want so bad to just barge in and pull that girl away from Jay.

After letting out a heavy sigh, you knocked furiously at the door. They didn’t responded so you repeated it once again, now a bit harder to make sure they heard it. Since the music was so loud, you were afraid that the two was so immerse with their lusts.

“Occupied!” you heard a girl shouted from inside. You clenched your jaw as your eyes pierced over at the door. Imagining Jay’s hand wrapped around her body just made your blood boil.

“Jay! Sunghoon left me!” you shouted from outside.

Suddenly, the whimpers was stopped and in just an instance, the door opened. The first one you saw was Jay,  his used to be neat black polo was now crumpled and you can see lipstick stains over his neck. Your eyes then darted over to the girl at the back, she was glaring at you while she fix her dress. You rolled your eyes at her before looking back at Jay.

“What the fuck are you doing here, y/n?” he sound so frustrated as he ran his hand once over to his sweat stained hair.

You pouted, “I was getting a drink and when I turned around I can’t find Sunghoon anymore.” you lied to him.

The girl slowly approaches Jay as she kept her glares at you. You ignored her because she don’t matter to you anyway, you’re just glad that you stopped them even before they can do the did.

You heard Jay muttered soft curses, “How many did you have?” Jay asked you that made you furrow your brows.

“What?” you asked because you didn’t quiet catch it.

He sighed, eyes darkly darted at you, “Shots... how many?”

You raised your hand showing him five fingers. He shut his eyes for a while before he turned towards the girl behind him and his other hand reached over your wrist.

A smile then slowly appeared over your face. A winning grin was present at your beautiful face when you turned towards the girl.

“I need to take care of her first.” Jay said firmly that made a displeased expression appear over her face.

“But--”

“See you around.” he didn’t even let her finish her sentence and he turned over at you. His eyes were dark as always.

“I knew this would happen. I told Jake to fucking not bring you.” he mumbled to himself but you managed to hear it anyway.

He pulled you over to a less crowded part of the house before he fished his phone. Maybe to call Sunghoon or something.

You stood just in front of him and let yourself enjoy the sight. He looked extra hot after his hair was all messed up and the first three of his polo was now open letting you have a sneak peak of his chest.

You gulped, feeling your cheeks burn because of the thoughts that taking over you. As you continued checking him out as you hear frustrated groans from him, still at his phone. Your mouth fell a bit open as you saw the bulge over his pants. Oh... you interrupted something.

You gulped and starred back at his face. He was hardly furrowing his brows, “Fucker’s not answering his phone.”

“Do you want me to help you?”

He glanced at you for a while, brows still hardly furrowed, “Help me with what?” he asked still focused with his phone.

He was about to dial somebody again but you advanced towards him and rested your hand at his erection. Jay was taken aback, he do know about how you feel but you never done this before. You were never this bold to him. His hand rested over your shoulder, ready to push you away from him before you can do something you will regret.

But Jay had lose it when you look up at him and he saw how your eyes were so innocent. Despite of your actions, your eyes was big and seems like clueless of the situation. It drives him crazy.

His breath hitched as he raised his head up, shutting his eyes and trying to breath heavily. You leaned closer and rested your face near his neck, breath fanning over to his skin.

“Damn it, y/n. Stop.” he was about to push you away because he’s slowly losing his mind.

You didn’t back away and moved your hand over to his shoulders. Jay stared down at you, slightly getting pissed after your hand left his erection.

“Y/n you don’t want this.” he said with a low voice, eyes completely darted at you.

You leaned closer, your lips were just inches away from each other. Both of your noses slightly touching each other. Your eyes were fixed over his slightly parted lips and Jay’s was just at your eyes.

His mind was clouded with a lot of bad thoughts about you. The wall he had created between you and him was slowly being broken down by you. Not even once does the thought of you initiating this had occurred to him. Between the two of you, he was the corrupted one. For him, you’re just an innocent little kitten.

“You sure?” was it the liquor? or is it the jealousy that drives you to do this? You have no idea, all you know is you love being this close to him.

His scent was invading your nose as your body felt hot close to him. Jay’s dangerous, you know it. But he’s the kind of danger you want to be involve with.

Your eyes trailed from his lips up to his eyes as your hand slowly cupped his face, “Because I really want this Jay--” you didn’t even have the time to finish your sentence when Jay cursed under his breath and pulled you over the bathroom where he just went out moments ago.

He pushed you inside, body dangerously close to each other. He kicked the door close and click the lock before carrying you. He placed you over the sink as he connect his lips at yours.

“Fuck y/n.” he mumbled between the kisses.

You hissed and groaned at the feeling of his lips over yours. You didn’t expect this would happen tonight. Jay’s hand moved from your face down over to your waist.

You pulled away and Jay was smirking at you, “I’m gonna ruin you tonight, y/n.” he mumbled that made your heart thump.

As he leaned over your neck, your fist balled and your eyes shut. You were very nervous since this is your first time and you didn’t really expect to lose your virginity in a bathroom.

Jay, as expected was professional at this thing. He knew where to kiss you to make you feel good but your slightly shaking body didn’t slip off from him.

He reached over your wrists and pushed you a bit away from him. His eyes were serious as he eye you now.

“You’re shaking.” he said, disappointment lures over his tone.

You gulped, lips trembling a bit as you try to compose a sentence. You can’t deny that you are nervous.

“I w-was just--” Jay cut you off as he took off his leather jacket and silently cover rested it over your shoulder.

“I can’t hook up with you when you’re acting like this.” he said. You were left silent.

Not because he said he ain’t gonna do it but because of what you heard. Hook up? Your eyes watered as you let out a sarcastic chuckle, “Hook up?”

Jay eyed you as he fixed the buttons of his black polo, running his hand over to his hair once.

“Yeah, what do you think? I still don’t like you, y/n. I never did.” his word rings inside your head and you felt your heart sank.

You’re so stupid for thinking that he will take you seriously just because he pulled you inside a bathroom to have sex. Of course, Jay was known for being a notorious playboy in your campus. You should’ve known better.

“And you really pull me here just to get in my pants?” your tears streamed down your face now. Jay looked at you blankly like as if it doesn’t bother him.

“Well you asked for it, didn’t you? You were basically throwing yourself at me--” your hand hardly slapped Jay’s face after you went down the sink.

You starred angrily at him, tears still pooling your eyes. You felt pathetic, you feel sorry for yourself for being this desperate.

“Screw you.” and you turn your back at him without saying anything anymore.

Jay clenched his jaw as he watch you walking out. He didn’t know but the slap did something to him.

You’re a bit still clouded with thoughts when you met Sunghoon’s eyes. He was flirting with this one girl but when he saw your face, his smile fell and he left the girl right away to approach you.

“Hey, what happened? Did he do something to you?” he asked worriedly.

You pursed your lips and gulped trying to get rid of the lump inside your throat. You wiped the tears away, “I wanna go home, please.”

Sunghoon didn’t know what to feel when he heard your voice crack a bit. He sighed heavily, slightly regretting that he send you to go after Jay. He fixed Jay’s jacket that was resting over your shoulders before he guided you outside the house.

It’s been a week already and you were trying so hard to avoid Jay. It was kind of hard because he’s basically everywhere you are since he’s friends with your brother. They often hang out at your house and you stay at your room during those time.

Jake noticed that you were avoiding him but he just shrugged it off since maybe you just had enough of the chase. He’s somewhat happy about it because he doesn’t have to worry for you being hurt by his playboy friend.

On the other hand, you were spending most of your times with Sunghoon. Lately, you two just became more close to each other. He’s always fun to be with but since he always accompany you, he became even more entertaining for you.

“What’s up babe?” he was smirking as he called you with that playful endearment he kept teasing you with.

You rolled your eyes but did your handshake with him before you plopped down beside him. Jake didn’t give much attention to the two of you because he was used to it. But Jay was different. He starred at the two of you with hawk-eye like eyes. His brows furrowed as he watch Sunghoon rested his hand over to your waist to pull you closer to him because he wanted to whisper something.

His jaw clenched as an unfamiliar emotion took over him. Were you guys always this touchy with each other? And Jake was fine with it?

He then eyed Jake who’s busy eating his food while chatting with Heeseung. He, then roamed his eyes to their other friends to see if he’s the only one thinking that you and Sunghoon is flirting right now.

Feeling a bit frustrated, he lost his appetite and just played with his food. Your giggles and Sunghoon's laughs ringed inside his mind and it just made him pissed even more.

He knew he had said that he never liked you but maybe that’s not the case? Maybe he’s just afraid of how crazy he’s gonna end up if he lets you into his system? Yeah... maybe that was it. He really liked you and you being the sister of one of his good friends created a boundary he made his-self.

“Hyung, you okay?” Jungwon had noticed how Jay hardly played with his food and how his brows were hardly furrowed.

“Huh?” Jay asked finally snapping back to his senses.

“You were playing with your food.” he said and even pointed the food using his chin.

He eyed it and he just let out a sigh. He stood up and decided to leave first. The boys were eyeing him weirdly. Jake had also noticed that something’s up with his friend. Lately, he’s not like his usual self.

“Did you had a fight with Jay?” Jake suddenly blurted out while you two were chilling at your living room.

You tried hiding your surprised reacting by covering your face with the book you were holding. Your feet were rested over your brother’s thighs as he sat beside you, watching television.

“No.” you answered.

If you’re gonna be honest, you kind of miss Jay. You missed hanging out with him. You messed his pissed off face whenever you follow him around and cling unto him. But you also think you had enough, he had made his self clear that he don’t have feelings for you.

“Really? He seems like not himself lately.”

Hearing that made your heart thump faster but you tried to shrug it off once again.

Your head snapped over the door when you heard your door bell rang. Even before Jake can stand up to go and open it, you stand up.

“Are you expecting someone?” he asked curiously.

“That’s Sunghoon! He’s gonna sleep here tonight, we’re gonna watch movies.” Jake just watched how you opened the door for his friend completely abondoning him.

“Where’s Sunghoon?” you asked Jake as you walked down the stairs, finger combing your hair.

Jake looked over you and he furrowed his brows as he gave you an elevator look. “On his way here... you look great.” he complimented you.

You smiled after muttering a soft thank you and held a leather jacket by your other free hand. His eyes darted over it.

“Is that Jay’s?” he asked you. You blushed and you panicked a bit but you tried to compose yourself once again.

“Yeah he let me borrow it last last week. I’m gonna return it to him now.” you said.

He just gave you a nod, “He’s outside,”

You nodded as well and walked yourself out. You’re partying tonight again and you decided to return his jacket to him. You had forgotten about this and while you’re fixing your room, you found it.

“Hey,” you softly called out.

Jay's eyes sparkled as he eyed you walking closer to him. He doesn’t know how to contain his excitement, you just talked to him again after that incident. He was actually so happy.

“Hey.” he greeted, trying to keep his cool.

You sighed and handed him his leather jacket. His brows furrowed and slowly reached for it.

“I forgot to return it, I’m sorry.” you plainly said and turned your back ready to leave him.

Jay doesn’t what got into him but he quickly grabbed you by your wrist.

“Are we good?” he asked you, lips ran over to his lower lip.

You starred over his eyes and you smiled. Even if you’re in front of him smiling, Jay felt your coldness lingers around you. You were cold towards him like as if he doesn’t matter for you at all.

“Yeah, of course.” Lies. You were lying.

Not really feeling okay about the situation, you were planning to get away but Jay held unto you tighter.

He was about to say something but you both heard someone talk.

“Hey sorry if I was late. I had to look for someone who will accompany Yeji for tonight.” it was Sunghoon. You pulled your wrist away from him as you playfully shoot glares at him.

“You’re just slow, Park Sunghoon.” you said and you heard him laugh before he wrapped his arms around your shoulder.

Jay clenched his jaw as he stare at the two of you. He couldn’t handle it but he knew he was at fault why all of this was happening. He’s the one to blame why the girl he loves hates him now.

Jake went out afterwards and you all went inside Jay’s car. Jake was at the driver’s seat while you and Sunghoon was at the back. The drive was silent until Jake decided to break it.

“Oh I remember, I really had a hard time sleeping last night.” he said that caught all of your attention.

Jay was clueless about the situation so he just kept his mouth shut and decided to just listen.

“You two should try and lower your voices. I was at the other room but I can still hear you. It’s annoying, you know.”

Sunghoon laughed and so did you. Jay on the other hand was gripping tightly at the steering wheel. He wanted so bad to stop the car and punch Sunghoon right there.

Jake shake his head acting like as if he was really disappointed at the two of you.

“Blame Sunghoon, Jakey. He’s such a baby.” you joked and laughed again.

“What? I told you I can’t take horror movies so well but you still insisted and it’s not like I’m the only one screaming! You were loud too.”

You two continued bickering as Jay spaced out. His grip slowly loosen up as he realized he was being dirty minded and actually thought Sunghoon and you did it.

When you arrived at the party, Jay was planning nothing but to have his eyes at you. He’s not gonna hook up or even look at other girls. It’s not like he ever did the past week because ever since he realized his true feelings for you, he stopped fooling around with other girls.

The night was pretty much going smooth, not until a girl approached Jay and he was trying to reject her in a nicest way. But the situation appeared differently for you, he seems like flirting for you so you can’t help but to feel bad.

Your eyes started to water, you had a couple of shots already so your emotions were getting the most of you.

“Hey doll face, why are you crying?” Sunghoon asked, making you face him. Now, you’re not facing Jay anymore.

Sunghoon laughed at your crying face before he leaned closer to fix your slowly getting messed up mascara, he was too close that you two were almost like kissing.

That was Jay had seen and he exploded. He couldn’t take it anymore and before you even knew it, Sunghoon was already at the floor.

“Jay! Oh my gosh, Sunghoon! Are you okay?” you asked and was about to go help him but a pair of strong arms wrapped over your waist to carry you.

You tried freeing yourself but you failed. He managed to bring you inside his car and his jaw clenched hardly after sitting down at the driver’s seat.

“Are you out of your mind? You punched Sunghoon!” Jay was pissed and you defending his friend just made him pissed even more.

He darkly looked over you, “He was kissing you!” he shouted that made you shut silent for a while.

Your brows furrowed, “What? No he wasn’t!”

“I’m not blind!”

“He was really not kissing me and if he is, then so what? So what if he’s kissing me, Jay?” you said, tone sounding a but challenging.

He clenched his jaw, “I don’t want you kissing someone else.”

You scoffed at him, “You have no right saying that.” and you were ready to go out of his car but Jay stopped you.

He snaked his arms over your waist and carry you to place you carefully over his lap.

“You're not going anywhere, y/n.” he mumbled under his breath that made your knees go weak.

You rested both of your hands over his chest for support. Silence took over both of you, eyes just starring at one another.

“I’m not planning to hook up with you, Jay.” you tried making yourself clear.

He licked his lower lip as his eyes trailed over your lips. “I am too.”

Your brows furrowed, “Then what is this?”

His eyes went back to you and you can’t explain how your heart thumped faster when you saw his eyes starring lovingly at you.

“This is me trying to confess to you.” he mumbled that made you pursed your lips together.

“I’m in love with you.”

You were surprised of course, you’re refusing to believe him but his eyes just makes it a bit more hard not to.

“I-Impossible.” he helped you sat to him properly, both of your legs over his sides then his large hands held unto your thin waist.

“You don’t know how crazy I am to you, y/n.” he mumbled, face leaned closer to you and now claiming your neck. His lips peppered you with soft feathery kisses.

“I was a fool for hurting you. Forgive me,” he said sincerely between his kisses.

You lose it as you shut your eyes, head tilting over to the side giving him more access. You hitched your breath, a low groan letting out.

“I love you.” you said that made Jay’s heart jump in excitement.

He smirked as he suck unto your neck, leaving a mark before he pull away to claim your lips.

“I love you more, baby.”

“Where were you?” Jake asked when you entered the party again. You saw Sunghoon and he was holding an ice over to his cheeks.

He smirked at you but his grin grew wider when a tall figure appeared behind you. The party continued like as if no commotion happened a while ago. You went inside and found your brother and his friends at one of set of couches at the living room.

“I w-went out for fresh air.” you reasoned out to your brother.

Sunghoon scoffed as he eye your neck, a couple of hickeys were visible but the party light makes it quite hard to see. He smirked as he saw Jay’s hand possessively rested over your waist.

“Did you fix her mascara, Jay? I was just helping her, you know?” Sunghoon said, a sly smile plastered over his face.

Soon, the boy’s eyes were darted over the two of you. Your brother’s brows furrowed in confusion and he just noticed Jay’s hand.

“Shut up, Sunghoon.” he said, smirking.

Jake smirked too, finally getting the situation, “You fucker, what did you do to my sister?” he jokingly said and pushed his shoulder a bit.

Jay looked at you for a while before he kissed your temple gently then he smiled warmly. His eyes looked at you with full affection and love.

“I just claimed what’s mine.”

main master-list

[wonder-kid-pugh]

This isn't Funny - (Rose Lavelle x reader)

Not really up to my usual standard but I thought I would post it anyways? Hope you like it.

April 1st also known as the worst day of the year for Rose Lavelle.

The day was just an absolute pain for the midfielder. It didn't help that being apart of the Uswnt also meant putting up with the multitude of pranks that you risk the chance of stumbling apun. Being teammates with people like Sonnet, Kelley and Pinoe didn't help either.

But they were nothing compared to Y/n

Y/n L/n, Rose's beautiful, lovely girlfriend was the worst prankster on the team. No one was safe from her pranks not even Rose herself. Rose was able to reel her in once they started dating minimizing the amount of pranks she pulled. She was able to keep her in line with the threat of no cuddles or kisses. It did help that Y/n's love language was touch and she would absolutely die if she didn't get her daily cuddles from her girlfriend.

But April Fool's was an entirely different story

April fool's day was the only day she had complete uncontrollable reign over her pranks. Within reason. Rose wasn't that dumb to not to set some ground rules. So when this camp happened to roll around on April 1st it was safe to say that everyone was on high alert for one of Y/n's pranks.

Rose gently cracked open the door to the meal room. She pushed open the door fully before quickly stepping out of the door frame. But she scrunches her face when nothing happens. "It's all clear!" She hears someone inside the room.

Rose pokes her head in to see the majority of the team are down eating breakfast. Rose walks in septical of the lack of pranks, "Nothing?" Becky shrugs, "We already checked the entire room as far as we know it's prank free". Rose frowns before shaking her head, "That's not possible. Y/n loves classic pranks there's no way she didn't at least put a bucket above the door or something!"

"Maybe she slept in too late to set it up" Alyssa suggests sipping her coffee. With a quick scan of the room Rose shakes her head again, "She was already gone when I woke up I thought she would be down here". Carli hums, "Now that you mention it. It does seem too quiet down here". Christen sends the midfielder a reassuring smile, "I'm sure she's fine Rose. I'd say she's just setting up some elaborate prank to pull on the team". Rose hesitantly nods, "Yeah probably".

Waving goodbye to the older players of the team she quickly grabs some food before heading over to her usual table. "Hey Rosie" Mal hums as she sits down across from her. "Hi" she says back while digging into her scrambled eggs. "Where's the devil you call a girlfriend?" Kelley asks.

Kelley, Sonnet, Pinoe and Ash were common targets of Y/n's pranks. Purely because when she first joined the team they saw her as the perfect target for their pranks. So Y/n saw this as payback and as it as justice for all the times they pranked the rest of the team. Rose secretly knew it was because she was staking her claim as best prankster on the team but she wouldn't tell them that and start a prank war because that wouldn't end well for anyone.

Rose bites the inside of her cheek, "I don't know..." Lindsey groans, "She's probably out setting up all her pranks for today". Mal pouts, "I hate April Fool's Day. I somehow always stumble into one of her pranks".

She did. She always somehow finds a way of walking into one of Y/n's pranks meant for someone else by accident. Like the time she borrowed Lindsey's hairdryer only to get a face full of flour.

They started strategizing straight away. It was common knowledge that Y/n loved classic pranks, all the old school ones. She always made sure to pull at least one every year. But then she always upped the antee with a more elaborate prank which would leave the team in stitches on whichever poor soul happened to stumble into it.

But as they started discussing ways of avoiding Y/n's pranks, Rose couldn't help but feel nervous. By the sounds of it no one had seen the forward yet today and that didn't sit well with Rose. Hoping to ease her nerves, she texted her hoping to at least know she was okay wherever she was. But as it was getting closer to the end of breakfast and there was still no sign of her and still no text telling her whereabouts, that's when Rose started to freak out slightly.

"You okay Rose? You seem really fidgety today?" Alex asked as she passed the midfielder who kept glancing at the door. Rose bites her lip, "I'm fine it's just I haven't seen Y/n all day". Alex gives her a small smile, "I'm sure she's fine she's probably setting up some pranks somewhere". Alex balances Charlie on her hip, "I just hope she doesn't have anything planned for me". Rose waves her off, "She doesn't. She said she didn't want to risk Charlie getting caught in the crossfire and thought you earned a break with your pregnancy and all". Alex grins and at the mention of Y/n, Charlie started to gurgle happily while clapping her hands.

Kelley whines, "What? That's no fair!" "Just because Charlie has Y/n wrapped around her finger..." Sonnet grumbles. Rose rolls her eyes at the two but Alex purses her lips. "Now that you mention it, it is weird...Y/n promised to take Charlie today while I organized some business stuff" Alex say to Rose. Now this causes Rose to frown.

One thing that everyone knew was that Y/n adored Charlie. She absolutely loves the child. She was always the first to volunteer to babysit her to give Alex some time off. And Charlie was always happy to see Y/n. It was extremely cute to see the two interact and it was clear that Y/n would do anything for the littlest Morgan.

And Rose wasn't going to lie, seeing Y/n with Charlie gave her major baby fever and found it extremely attractive.

Now this causes Rose to frown, "What? That doesn't make sense. Y/n never misses a chance to play with Charlie..."  Alex shrugs, "All I know is Y/n said she would take Charlie after breakfast". This didn't ease any of Rose's nerves.

Mal sends her friend a reassuring smile, "I'm sure she's fine Rose. Maybe she just forgot. You know how she gets on April Fool's". Rose sighs, "Yes but she would never forget about hanging out with Charlie. And she still hasn't answered any of my texts".

"Okay how about this. We give it an hour and if Y/n still hasn't shown up, we have a look around for her" Sam proposes. Rose bites her lip but nods, "Fine".

But one hour turns into two and Y/n still hadn't showed up. And even after searching the entire hotel, none of the team had found their missing teammate. "Nothing?" Rose asks as Christen, Tobin, Becky and Alyssa, the last group walk in. But they all shake their heads. "Sorry Rose still no sight of her" Tobin sighs.

"There isn't even a sign of a prank anywhere" Pinoe frowns. "That's unheard of for Y/n" Crystal comments. "She still won't answer her phone" Tierna sighs after trying to call the forward again. Everyone was quiet wondering where their lost teammate could be.

"Okay hear me out" Sonnet starts causing everyone to look at her, "could this be some complex prank Y/n planned? To get us all worried about her 'missing'" But Rose was quick to answer.

"No she wouldn't do that. She loves pranks but she wouldn't take it this far" Rose says adamantly. "Has anyone tried her apartment?" Christen asked. They all look between each other.

Christen sighs, "Okay let's go". Rose bolts up and is already out the door before anyone could stop her. Thankfully camp was in Utah this month. And due to Y/n playing for the Royals she had an apartment here for during the season.

Rose had a spare key just in case of emergencies which she decided this was one of them. But even as they walked in, Rose already knew she wasn't there. Y/n had a thing with silence. She grew up in a house with 4 brothers. She never got a bit of peace and quiet. She hated silence. It's a reason Y/n always carried earphones with her. When things get too quiet she starts playing music to fill the void. So when Rose walked into a quiet apartment she knew Y/n wasn't here.

Rose takes this time to try and call her again. But she sighs when the call rings out and goes to voicemail. When the voicemail beeps Rose sighs and rubs her temple, "C'mon Y/n this isn't funny anymore. I'm really worried about you. Please call me back". She ends the call and looks around the apartment for any clues where her girlfriend could be.

Christen and the others just send her sad looks though when they search the entire apartment but find no trace of the girl. Rose felt like tearing her hair out.

But then her phone rang

She didn't even check it before she was fumbling to answer it, "Y/n?!" But instead of the cheerful voice of her girlfriend, she heard a woman speak down the phone, "Is this Rose Lavelle?" Rose squeezes the phone tighter, "Yes this is she". "I'm calling as you are the emergency contact for Y/n L/n. She was brought in earlier today for a head injury".

Rose clasped her hand over her mouth trying to stop the gasp from leaving her mouth. "Is she okay?" "She's okay. A little roughed up but she'll be fine". Rose lets out a small sigh of relief, "What hospital?" After finding out what hospital she was at and telling the team they were quickly off again. Rose was already jumping from the car before Tobin had even come to a complete stop.

Rose rushes up to the reception, "Uh hi I'm the emergency contact for Y/n L/n. I got a call she was here?" The nurse nods and checks the computer before smiling at the midfielder, "If you would follow me".

Rose followed closely behind her. When she walks into the room she sees Y/n smiling dopely at her, "Hi!" Rose stares at her stunned for a second before she takes three quick strides to her girlfriend.

"Ow!"

Y/n pouts as she rubs her arm that Rose just hit, "Why would you hit me? I'm literally in a hospital!" Rose sniffles as she slaps her arm again, "Do you know how worried I was? Why haven't you been answering your phone?" She  frowns as she takes Rose's hand in her, mostly to make sure she didn't hit her again, "My phone is shattered I couldn't answer it the screen was too destroyed".

Rose's eyes drifted up to Y/n's forehead to see stitches above her right eye and a bruise blooming on her jaw. Her hand lifted up to touch her forehead but Y/n flinched away. Rose frowns, "What happened?" Y/n pursued her lips, "I was jumped when I went out this morning to get supplies for April Fool's".

Rose frowns as her hand grazed over her bruising jaw but this time she doesn't flinch away and instead nuzzles into her touch. "I'm sorry for worrying you" Y/n whispers kissing the pad of Rose's thumb affectionately. Rose shakes her head, "I'm just glad your okay".

Y/n grins at her girlfriend, "I know it looks bad but I totally kicked their asses". Rose couldn't help but laugh, "I'm sure you did babe". Y/n raises an eyebrow, "Seriously I totally had them. They got lucky that there was two of them and they caught me off guard. Otherwise it would be them here and not me". Rose giggles and kisses her forehead gently, "Whatever you say tough guy".

"You know we would have enjoyed our prank free day if we weren't so worried about you" Sonnett teases. Everyone laughs while Y/n pouts, "I can't believe I missed April Fool's Day! I had so many good pranks planned!" The older players shook their heads at her while the younger players silently cheered at they wouldn't fall victim to her pranks.

"I know you missed April Fool's Day but I might know something that would cheer you up" Alex says stepping forward. Y/n's smile immediately brightens as she sees who sees the small child in Alex's arms, "Charlie!" The littlest member of the Carrasco Morgan Family gurgled and babbled happily and made grabby hands at the forward.

The team watch as Y/n blows a raspberry against the child's cheek causing her to sequel. They watched happily as their now found teammate plays with the small child. Rose couldn't stop the smile spreads across her face as she watches her girlfriend play with  Charlie. She couldn't help but think how great Y/n was with kids. Even though she scared the shit out of her today.

The one thing Rose did know was Y/n would be a great mother.

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

sometimes I think of my cousins and how they've travelled overseas and done all these exciting and adventurous things and I feel like I've been wasting my life staying home and not going anywhere

but I eventually realised that I've already done a lot of exciting and interesting things without spending money or travelling abroad, even if they're just little things, they're still experiences, and I have so many of them

like the time I was playing my ukulele on an empty bus, and then a group of teenagers got on, recognised the song I was playing, and got all excited and started singing along to it

last year I spent a month in a mental health unit, I met a lot of interesting and wonderful people, including a guy who gave me a completely edited version of Judge Dredd that cut out a lot of the comic relief moments that he felt ruined the movie, to this day that is still the only version of that movie I've ever watched (he did a very good job)

I taught myself to cheep like a chick after volunteering to house our baby chickens in my bedroom overnight to make sure they stayed safe and warm, they would cheep at me and I'd cheep back, eventually my family couldn't tell which of us were cheeping

before I started working in aged care, I volunteered in a dementia unit just talking to and doing activities with the residents, I played dominos with a man who survived Auschwitz, he couldn't remember a lot of his life, but he would always show me the numbers on his arm and tell me exactly how many years he spent fighting in the war, how many years he spent in Auschwitz, and how after he was released, as soon as he was fit to fight again he rejoined the army

I travelled for most of a day to attend the wedding of friends I had met in person only once at a convention, I had very little money at the time and stayed in the cheapest pub hotel imaginable, it was disgusting, I slept on the very edge of the bed with my jacket over the pillow, it was worth it to see them again

when travelling home from a convention me and my friends ended up on the same train home as some other convention goers and we turned the section we were sitting in into a mess of memes and pop-culture references, we sand songs, made a ton of noise and had a lot of fun, I'm still friends with some of them and we always try to meet up at cons now

my mum and aunt appeared on tv advocating for lifts at our local train station that has absolutely no accessibility for the disabled, the video they took of a legless man dragging himself backwards up the stairs as his friend carried his wheelchair went viral, I did letterbox drops and helped out at BBQ fundraisers for the cause, the government has finally relented and are beginning the plans to have them installed

I joined an accapella group once and discovered I was a baritone, I learned how to mount a unicycle but I can't ride one, I learned sign language when I was having non-verbal episodes, and I forgot it all when they stopped and I no longer needed it, I marched in a float at mardi gras, literally everyone I know contacts me when they need a bird identified, I took burlesque classes, I made posters for a local band promotion

and now I have a volunteer job in a thrift store that funds a suicide callback service that I have actually used, I have failed at every job in my life so far but in this one I singlehandedly manage the entire dvd and video tape section, every single disc on our shelves was checked and cleaned by me and me alone, and the ones that were on the shelves from before I started working there were removed and rechecked, I reshelved everything and sorted it all by genre, by my manager's orders nobody else is even allowed to touch the dvd section, and when anyone does the other staff will rat them out to me because they know how much pride I take in my work and how important it is to me, and that I do a fucking good job, the first time ever I've had a job I'm good at and proud of

you don't have to have money and go to exotic places to have an interesting and fulfilled life, I wouldn't trade any of this for an expensive trip abroad

what interesting life experiences have you had? what weird skills have you learned? what kind of strange people have you talked to? give me your stories

[quicksilverownsmysoul]

Take Me Home Tonight

Summary: Warren accidentally confesses to you and is forced to realize that he’s been in love with you for a while now. This is Evan’s warren lipka I just wanted to specify

Word Count: 2928

Warnings: None this is pure fluff, Warren being his usual goofy and incredibly hot self

You were having the time of your life right now, nothing was funnier than drunk Warren Lipka. He was the definition of a hot mess, one second he was grinding on some random lady on the dance floor and the next second he was passed out on the toilet, pants down and Spencer had to go and get him. You always volunteered to be their designated driver when they went out, you loved getting to see Warren like this. And because you would never get drunk in front of Warren, you knew you were a bold drunk and whatever you did he would never let you forget it. 

You scanned the room trying to make sure you had eyes on them. Spencer was snoring with his head down surrounded by empty bottles and various wrappers, he was sitting at a table towards the center of the bar and Warren was near the front of the bar. He was currently fighting with some woman over the karaoke machine. Warren wrestled the microphone from her and her friends cussed him out before he flipped them off. He took the makeshift stage stumbling on the last step. 

He squinted his eyes till he found you, you gave him a wave, water still in hand. He gave you a lopsided smile before pointing in your direction, pushing his hair back. “This one goes out to my girlfriend!” The crowd wolf whistled as they turned to face in your direction. You rolled your eyes.

“I’m not his girlfriend!” You shouted back with a laugh. 

“Yea but I wish you were!” He shouted back. 

“Wait what.” You felt your eyes bulge out of your head and turn to look at Spencer, he had the same shocked look on his face. You looked at him for an explanation and he just shrugged his shoulders, as clueless as you were. Warren whispered something to the guy running the machine and a second later Eddie Money started blaring out of the speakers, drowning out your attempts to call him off the stage. 

Warren bopped his head to the music, jerking his hips out, still pointing in your direction. “I feel a hunger, it’s a hunger, That tries to keep a man awake at night!” He began to sing and it was awful. He was basically screaming and his voice was raspy from all the alcohol. But he put up so much of a performance into the way he sang the audience didn't seem to care. He held eye contact with you slowly moving off the stage and towards you.

The spotlight followed his movements, the light creeping closer to your secluded corner of darkness. “Are you the answer?” Your heart pounded at the implication of his words and the way his eyes seemed alert. He continued singing until he was directly in front of you. He threw the cord around you and used it to pull you close, you stumbled into him catching yourself on his chest. He leaned forward, his close proximity making the hair on your arms stand up, he lowered his voice as he nudged the side of his head into yours. “I can feel you breathe, I can feel your heart beat faster…” 

He watched you with half lidded eyes, moving closer, his lips nearly brushing against yours, but before you could make contact he pulled away from you nearly causing you to trip over the cord as he yanked it back towards him. He danced back towards the center of the bar and jumped up on the table where Spencer was at. He threw his head back and screamed out the lyrics “TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT! I DON’T WANNA LET YOU GO ‘TIL YA SEE THE LIGHT!” 

He waved his arm in the air, signaling the crowd to sing along with him. He nudged Spencer with his foot and he began to sing along with the rest of the bar patrons. They were all drunkenly sighing along with Warren, their gazes locked on you. He moved his arms around madly jumping up and down on the table, going absolutely crazy. You laughed watching him thrust his hips forward, matching the beat of the song. He pulled Spencer on the table with him and they both began to drunkenly sing to you, your face hurt from smiling so widely. You took out your phone and began to record their little song and dance. You also took a picture of drunk Warren pointing at you and screaming be my little baby. He had nearly slipped off the table while doing it, so it was all blurry and his eyes were wild.  You made a mental note to make it your lockscreen later. 

He started up at the chorus again, this time him and Spencer belting it accompanied by the other customers. “TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT!” Warren jumped a little too close to the edge of the table and launched him and Spencer on the floor, knocking over the neighboring tables. You were doubled over in laughter, Warren hadn’t even stopped singing he just carried on as he laid on top of Spencer on the floor. 

The security guard walked over to the two of them and picked them up by their shirt collars. He tried taking the microphone from Warren but he just held it closer still signing into it, even though the music had stopped. The security guard looked at you and called you over. “Come get your boyfriend!” 

“He’s not my boyfriend!” 

“BUT HE WISHES HE WAS!” The bar patrons chanted together, remembering what Warren had shouted to you earlier. Your face burned in embarrassment as you want to collect them. Ripping the microphone from Warren’s hands as he whined and handed it to the security guard. The crowd cheered Warren on as you guys were escorted out, he bowed and blew kisses to the crowd. You had to drag him by his arm all the way to the car, Spencer just walked alongside you guys smiling to himself. 

You shoved Warren into the passenger's seat and he groaned as he hit his head on the roof going in. Spencer laughed at him. “Shut up!” Warren called reaching into the back seat. 

“Stop that!” You said, pulling him back into the front seat. You buckeld yourself in before starting up the car. “I can’t believe you got us kicked out of my favorite bar.” You scolded. You weren't really all that mad about being kicked out, you were more upset about the way Warren had said he wished you were his girlfriend. You knew that when Warren was drunk he would say and do just about anything so you learned not to take him seriously. But you had been crushing on him for years now and for a second you had felt a flicker of hope that he returned your affection. 

Warren just pouted with his arms crossed for a moment before playing with your radio flicking through the channels. He smiled when he heard the song he was singing earlier again. “Oh no not again.” You said reaching over to turn the radio off, he smacked your hand away and kept his own covering the buttons. 

“Warren.” You warned, glancing over to glare at him. He just smirked and started singing again. 

“Come on (y/n) sing with me!” 

“No.”

“I feel a hunger….” He leaned across to the seat getting really close to whisper in your ear. “Come on, you know you wanna sing with me. You know you wanna take me home tonight.” He slurred. You pushed him back into his seat laughing at his poor attempt at flirting. But it got you to play along. 

“Oh yeah, I’ll take you home tonight.” You said in an over seductive voice, reaching over to run your hand up and down his thigh. 

“Really?” He asked, biting his bottom lip. 

‘Yeah I’m gonna take both your asses home and make sure you stay there.” You pushed your hand into his chest knocking him back into his seat. 

He groaned, lulling his head to the side knocking it against the window with a soft bonk. “You’re no fun.” 

You winked at him. “I know.” You softly hummed the tune to yourself the rest of the ride home and Warrens smiled to himself at watching you. 

You dropped them both off at Warren’s place, he said his dad wasn't home so Spencer could crash there. Warren had nearly fallen down the stairs into the basement, but you caught him and propped him up. He blushed as you gently helped him lay down in bed and removed his shoes. You laid him down and he grabbed your hand as you moved to leave. “What, no goodnight kiss?” You rolled your eyes and moved back towards him. He closed his eyes and puckered his lips, you made him lay back down and settled for a kiss on his forehead. 

“Goodnight Warren.” He was glad the lights were off so you couldn't see how red his face had gotten from your simple kiss. He hadn't expected you to do anything at all. 

“‘Night.” 

Warren woke up in the middle of the night, needing to pee. As he was washing his hands he was hit with a full memory of what had happened last night. He stumbled out of his room and made his way to Spencer who was passed out on the couch. “Dude.” He shook him. “Dude wake up!”

Spencer jolted awake. “What do you want Warren?” 

“Did I do what I think I did last night?” Warren said slowly, his brows furrowed.

“If you’re asking if you indirectly confessed to (y/n) by serenading her with an Eddie Money song and then asking her to take you home tonight about a million times then yes.” Spencer curled back into himself hugging the blanket closer. He was always thankful when you made a bed for him. You always remember to give him a blanket and a pillow. Warren always forgot and he ended up having to use a newspaper or a couch cushion to keep warm. He turned back, opening one eye. “She also kissed you goodnight and left you a care package.”

“I’m sorry she kissed me?” Warren said, yanking Spencer's blanket away. 

“Yes.” Spencer said bordely, blindly fumbling for his blanket. “On the forehead idiot, you asked her for a kiss and that’s all she gave you.”

“But she kissed me?”

“Yes. Now give me my blanket back.”

“One more thing.”

“What?” Spencer groaned, trying to get his blanket back. Warren kept holding it out of his reach. 

“You said she left me a care package.”

“Yea, on the table.” Warren dropped the blanket back on Spencer and practically sprinted over to the table. “ But she left a gatorade for me too so don’t drink them both!” Spencer added before going back to sleep. There was a little wooden tray with a gatorade, an aspirin bottle and a whole bunch of little tricks to help with a hangover. He smiled at your sweet sentiment and downed some of the pills hoping they would ease his pounding head. He held the little care package in his hands, smiling at it unconsciously. You were always so thoughtful, you always took care of his dumbass and got him out of whatever trouble he managed to get into. You were always there for him when he needed you. He had always had lingering feelings for you but he’d brush it off as a crush, Warren Lipka didn't have “deep feelings.” 

But the longer he looked at the care package you left him and as he reflected on the events of last night he couldn't deny it any longer. “Shit.” He mumbled running a hand down his face. Spencer had turned to look at him. “I’m in love with her.”

“You're just now realizing this.” Warren tossed a pillow at him and Spencer batted it away. “So what are you going to do?”

“Nothing.”

“What?” 

“I’m just gonna hold all my feelings in until I die.” 

“Are you serious?”

“Deadly.” 

Spencer sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He yawned out his reply. “Just tell her you liked her like a normal person.” 

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“What if…” Spencer sensed the change of tone in Warren’s voice and he now had his full attention. “What if she doesn't like me back. I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

Spencer bit his lip, debating on telling Warren what you had told him. Warren noticed Spencer's suspicious behavior and his eyes narrowed. “You know something.”

“No I don’t.”

“Yes you do.” Warren plopped onto the couch beside Spencer. “Tell me.”

“I’m not really supposed to-”

“Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell-”

“Okay!” Spencer huffed. Spencer looked around as if making sure you weren't there to overhear him. “She told me that she likes you.”

“WHAT?” 

“Don’t yell, I still have a hangover.” Spencer groaned, pressing his fingers to his temple. He got you to take some aspirin, Warren followed.

“She likes me, since when??” Spencer bit his lip. Warren yanked his gatorade away. “How long has she liked me spencer?””

“Since high school.”

“WHAT?”

“Dude.” Spencer yanked his gatorade back. “I told you to stop yelling.”

“You knew that she liked me since high school and you never told me.”

“She made me promise not to tell.”

Warren glared at him. He wanted to be mad but the knowledge of you liking him outweighed his anger. “And you’re sure she still likes me?’

“Yeah.” 

“Positive? This ain't something I can't take a risk on. I need to be one million percent sure.”

“Yes.” 

“Yes what?”

“Seriously?” Spencer signed. Warren glared at him and he rolled his eyes. “Yes I’m sure she still likes you.” 

Warren went up the stairs of the basement taking two at a time and yanking the door open. “Where are you going?” Spencer called up.

“To go see her.”

“But you don’t have a car. And it’s the middle of the night.”

“I don’t care and I don’t need one.” Warren slammed the door shut on his way out. Spencer winced and went to lay back down. “That idiot is going to run there.” He grumbled.

You woke up to hear pounding on your door. You were still in bed and your roommate went to answer the door. She took one look out before slamming it shut. “Who is it?” You asked.

“Your hot friend.”

You got up and  opened it, Warren was on the other side, bent over and breathing really hard. “Warren?”

“Hey.” He wheezed out.

“Are you okay?”

“Mhmm.”

“You know it’s like 4 in the morning right?”

“Mhmm.” 

“Are you sure you’re okay? You’re really sweaty and you sound like you’re dying.”

“I’m good just give me a minute.” 

“Do you wanna come in?” Warren glanced behind you and saw your roommate leaning back in her chair, trying to see what was going on. 

“Nah. I-'' He took a deep breath before starting again. “I kinda want us to be alone for this.” 

You closed the door behind you and leaned against it waiting for him to continue. Warren stood back up, pushing his sweaty hair out of his face. He was all disheveled, still dressed in his clothes from last night. But his shirt was unbuttoned, exposing his chest to you, you did you best not to look. “So.” He started off, looking down at the floor. 

“So…”

“About last night.” Warren fiddled with the hem of his shirt. “I meant what I said.” He looked up to see your reaction, you were watching him with wide eyes silently asking him to continue. “I really like you, like a lot. And I have for a while now but I was too scared to admit it. I didn’t want to risk ruining our friendship.”

Your heart was beating out of your chest, you were pretty sure the whole dorm could hear it. “You… you like me?” 

“Yeah.” Warren rubbed the nape of his neck, his brown eyes staring into your own, waiting to see your answer. 

You smiled and glanced down at the floor. “I like you too.”

“Really?” His voice was hopeful, the edges of his lips curling into a smirk.

“Yeah.” You guys stared at each other like idiots with wide smiles on your faces. 

���So…” Warren started again this time a little more brave. ‘Would you maybe like to go out sometime?”

“I would love to.”

Warren pumped his first in the air. “Yes!” You laughed and went to open the door to your dorm. “As much as I love confessing to you in the hallway it’s the middle of the night. You should probably get back to bed.” He nodded. “So I guess I’ll see you around.” 

“Yeah, I’ll call you later to set up our date.”

“Okay!” 

You began to close the door before Warren rushed forward, he put his hands on the door frame, stopping you from closing it. “Wait! Can you uh, can you drive me home. I don't think I would survive running all the way back.”

“Sure.” you giggled, grabbing your keys and locking the door behind you. Warren smirked at you as you guys made our way down the hall. 

“So what you’re saying is you’ll take me home tonight.” He sang the last part, winking at you. You pushed his shoulder. 

“Don’t make me regret saying yes to going out with you.”

Taglist: @xxspqcebunsxx @coffeeandteaintheevening @kitwalkerangel @xmaximoffic @no-mercy-bby @evanmybeloved @livingmybestfictionallife

[beyondspaceandstars]

While You Sleep

Chapter 7

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: fluff, mentions of violence Summary: Soulmate!AU - Throughout life, you’re given glimpses of your soulmate through dreams. As you sleep, memories flash in your mind showing you the life your soulmate has lived. Everyone around you raves about how their soulmate reads great books or volunteers in their spare time. But you can’t relate as your dreams end up being more like nightmares. Through initial images of death and violence, you come to learn your soulmate is the Winter Soldier.

(a/n: i know the ending is ehh but i promise more will be explored in the next chapter <3

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Your giddiness from the morning carried into the afternoon. You felt like you were floating half the time. The orders flying in flew out too as you moved flawless and happily through your work. Even when some customers would come up insisting their drink wasn’t correct, you accepted the complaint and happily presented a fresh cup. It was impeccable. A combination of feeling rested and feeling like you had someone. 

You were at the tail-end of a rush when Steve came into the shop. He didn’t get in line, though, and instead took the last seat at the counter, watching you float about cheerfully. 

You glanced up from the espresso machine. “Good morning, Steve.”

“Good morning,” he greeted back, watching you froth some milk for the newly brewed espresso. 

You started pouring the milk into the cup, moving your hand delicately attempting to create some kind of pattern. “No coffee today?”

Steve shook his head as you placed the order under the pick-up sign and called out the name on the cup. You had a second to breathe and placed yourself back in front of Steve.

“I actually came to see how everything was going.”

You playfully rolled your eyes, a little smirk tugging at your lips. “I may be new to the whole soulmate thing but I am not clueless when it comes to friends. I’m sure Bucky is sharing everything.” You turned to start wiping down your workspace.

Steve frowned, “Bucky hasn’t told me anything.”

Your movements stopped. Brows furrowed in confusion, you asked, “He hasn’t said anything about me?” 

Steve shook his head. “I just think he’s nervous. Probably wants to keep you for himself right now. I hear some soulmates can get like that at first.”

“Oh,” you hummed. “Well I can try to fill you in but there’s not much to discuss really. It's only been like a day. Dinner was lovely, though. Thank you for that, by the way.” Steve smiled. You continued, “He walked me home that night which was very kind, and then this morning he surprised me. He was waiting outside my apartment building to walk me to work.”

Steve’s jaw went slack. “Bucky walked you to work? Here?”

You nodded, maybe a bit too enthusiastically but you couldn’t help yourself. “We had a lovely walk and chatted along the way.” He stared at you as if waiting. “Steve, I’m not going to tell you what we talked about.”

Steve let out a light chuckle, throwing his hands up dramatically in defeat. “Alright, alright,” he said, “I won’t pry but can you blame a man for trying? My best friend is finally learning about his soulmate. That’s big for anyone but for Bucky in particular...”

You couldn’t help the blush creeping up on your face for what felt like the millionth time today. It was one thing to hear stuff from Bucky but to get an outsider's perspective, well, that was a rush. You held a little bit of pride from it as well.

“Well, thanks for getting us together,” you smiled, turning to wipe down a coffee machine. 

“You’re not mad at me for the ambush?” 

“Oh, no, I’m very mad about that.” You said, pointedly, as you glanced over back at Steve. He still had a shit-eating grin on his lips, not even an ounce of sorriness came off him.

“Well, once again, can you blame me? How else was I supposed to get you two to actually talk? Besides, I’m not actually hearing any complaints from you about it.”

Darn. He got you there. You sighed with a small nod and faced Steve once more. “No, of course, I’m not complaining,” you admitted, “you’re just lucky it turned out well.”

“It was always going to turn out well,” Steve said, matter-of-factly. “You two are soulmates.”

You frowned, “I could’ve moved on.”

Steve chuckled, absolutely dismissing the idea. “That doesn’t actually happen now does it?”

No, it doesn’t, but you didn’t want to admit it out loud. Once you actually stood in the same room as Bucky, you knew there was no turning back. However it may have ended up, you were always to feel that pull towards him. You think you were hooked the second you saw him on the television, despite that initial onslaught of fear. 

When a few seconds had passed and Steve was still met with no answer, he gave you a smile. “Have a good rest of your day.” 

As he turned his back to you, you called out, “I gave him my number.” Once the words left your lips you felt a bit unsure of why you were telling him this. “That’s another thing that happened this morning. I just really wanted to…” What did you want to do?

“Open that connection?” Steve guessed but you realized quickly that was correct. You wanted a more direct line to him, to maybe establish more happenings and dates. It sounded so fucking childish in your head but this all was so new to you.

Once you nodded, confirming his assumptions. Steve said, “He’s probably very thankful for that.” 

Now he was really done speaking. Steve promptly left after that without any more goodbyes or chances for you to blurt out ridiculous updates. Why, anyways, were you actually updating Steve? Maybe because part of you felt you owed him. He sort of deserved to know a little about the couple he aided along in bringing together. Or maybe he was living vicariously through you two seeing as his own soulmate was gone. Perhaps, though, at the end of the day, he was a friend and from your previous observations, this kind of chatter over soulmates and first glances was what other people did. It felt good to finally sort of be in on it all with everyone else.

***

It was late in the afternoon when your phone buzzed. You were just starting to make your way to your apartment. Slightly confused, you turned on the screen to see a text message written more in the form of a formal letter.

Good afternoon. Did this send? Xo, Bucky

Despite the silliness and him clearly dating himself (not like it was a secret, though), you were practically wooed by the little hugs and kisses at the end. It really reminded you of some old-timey letter. You swore, it was always the simplest things with this man that just pulled you in.

Quickly, you crafted your message back: It sent! Was that your first text message ever?

After hitting ‘send,’ you started on the path back home. While maybe not expecting an immediate response, you also didn’t expect to be halfway to your building before Bucky texted back. 

Yes, the text read. Can I call? -Bucky

You chuckled at the continuation of the sign-off but quickly replied, telling him you were free to talk whenever. Within seconds, your phone was ringing. 

“Hello!” you said, fairly a bit too cheerily into your phone. You could practically hear Bucky’s smile as he answered. 

“Hello,” he greeted you. “How is work?”

“It was good,” you said, “I’m on my way home now.”

“What?” Bucky gasped. “You should’ve told me what time you got off. I would’ve walked you home.”

You giggled, “Well, you maybe you should’ve asked what time my shift ended. I think this goes both ways, Buck.”

There was a moment of silence. “I forgot,” he eventually admitted with a sigh. “Someone had to go and kiss my cheek so I really couldn’t think straight.”

You let out a loud laugh at his comment, feeling a blush creeping on slowly on your neck and cheeks. Bucky matched your laugh.

“I’m sorry I’m such a distraction, I’ll do better,” you giggled. “Was there a particular reason you wanted to call?”

Bucky let out a bit of a disappointing sigh as if he didn’t want to admit something. “I’m not too skilled at this texting thing.”

“Oh,” you frowned, a bit uncertain. “It’s just like typing on a computer.” Sure, you said it like it was so obvious, but then you sort of hit you, remembering who you were speaking to. You stopped in your tracks, wanting to bang your head against a wall. “I-I mean-,”

“It’s alright,” Bucky let out a breathy chuckle. “I have typed on a computer but my phone doesn’t mimic that. It’s one of those flipping phones.”

“Flipping phones?” It took you a second but then the lightbulb went off. “Oh, you have a flip phone. No keyboard, then.”

“No keyboard,” he confirmed. “I figured out how to use the little keypad but it’s not exactly efficient. Plus, calling allows me to hear your lovely voice.”

You continued walking, suppressing a ridiculous, dopey smile as you passed others on the street. “You’re such a flirt.”

He let out a thoughtful hum. “Yeah? You think so?”

You caught yourself nodding before realizing he couldn’t even see you. “Absolutely,” you said out loud.

“Glad to know I still got some game.”

“Oh?” You inquired. “Were you swooning all the ladies back in the day?” The second the words left your mouth, you realized where this conversation was going and a sharp twinge of jealousy ran through you. Your eyes began watering at just the ridiculous thought of a hopeless Bucky thinking he had no soulmate and mindlessly pulling in girls left and right.

Bucky must’ve picked up on the sudden shift in you - possible perks of the bond - because he spoke very carefully after a minute. “Past me certainly did some things,” he admitted, “but he didn’t know there was a beautiful woman waiting for him way down the line.”

Your throat tightened a bit at the threat of tears. You took a couple of deep breaths completely shocked by how emotional one little thought could make you. The conversation on the topic hadn’t even lasted a full minute and Bucky was frantically calming you down. 

You wanted to change the subject. Possibly putting it back on you. “When did you first learn about me?”

Bucky went silent again. You pressed the phone to your ear with your shoulder, waiting, as you rifled for your keys in your bag when you saw your building coming into view. 

“They… I… I went, or really it, went dormant and I don’t know how I remember this, usually, my brain went blank in those circumstances, but one day I got this vision of you. You were playing with this bright, white cat on the lawn with this little house right behind you.” Mittens, you realized as you began unlocking your apartment door. He saw you with your pet cat Mittens whom you had when you were just a kid. “I was really confused until I felt that tug in the soulmate line or whatever they call it. I knew it was real because you never vanished. No matter what they did to me, when I was put away, you were there. Like some sort of angel sitting in my head. They couldn’t take that from me. They could never take you.”

You thought you were going to start crying as you stood in the doorway of your apartment hearing the sadness mixed with faint hope run throughout Bucky’s voice as he recalled the dreams. You could practically feel it all, too, within you.

“Bucky…” you sighed. A light sniffle came through on the other end but he didn’t acknowledge it. Instead, Bucky abruptly turned the tables on you as you probably should’ve expected. While you wanted to talk more of it out with him (Lord knows it seems like he needed it) you let him steer the conversation.

“I know you said we could discuss this later but I’m very curious,” Bucky began, changing the subject as easily as you had just prior, “when did you first learn about me? You said you’ve seen some things but I’m really curious what your first impressions were.”

It was like someone just stabbed in through the chest. You really should’ve known this was coming. The first memories of Bucky - the Winter Soldier - flashed through your mind chaotically. 

“I really don’t-,”

“Please,” he begged. The tone in his voice now… You had made it all too obvious earlier that morning. Of course, this was bound to come back around and you had opened the fucking gates. “It doesn’t have to be detailed. Just… something.”

You sighed, running your hands through your hair in anger as you took a seat on the couch. “You weren’t really you.” That was all you felt you could say as your heart was now in your stomach and your throat felt like it was filled with razor blades. 

“I wasn’t…” He sounded confused at first but then the words trailed off. You could practically feel the exact moment when it all clicked for him. You wanted to throw up.

“Bucky-,” 

You were cut off by the line going dead and the sound of dial tone greeting your ears.