#i genuinely didn't have any idea what to make... so im not even sure does it fit the event aesthetic...

[grimminwonderland]

Welp... Since i made one of Applepom outfit, might as well make the masquerade one... Yeah... Inspo was pretty much pinterest masquerade aesthetic and the boys' outfits themselves

Also mandatory Grim cam

[etheries1015]

I had sort of a crack idea of what would the non-human twst boys do if their crush or s/o was allergic to them? Savanaclaw and Octonivelle with like the fur allergy and seafood allergy. Maybe diasomnia’s s/o has some sort of fairy allergy? Sorry if this is too silly for you to write, it’s alright if you don’t 😭

I LOVE THIS BECAUSE I'VE HAD A SIMILAR THOUGHT i'm allergic to cats and i'm like...man what am I gonna do around Grim BUAHAHA...this is a great idea. Nothing is too silly to write my friend!

Non-human Twst boys reacting to a S/O who is allergic to them!

featuring: Savanaclaw and Octavinelle!

general warnings: gender neutral reader, not really proof read \

TW: None! just fluff. and allergies.

Leona

The first time you sneezed around him, they didn't know it was literally BECAUSE of him. This was until you two took a nap together for the first time, and when you woke up he saw your face...Oh, brother. Your eyes were puffy and red, congested, and your nose leaked like nobody's business. He genuinely felt bad about this, but wouldn't let you in on his true feelings/emotions. Without understanding the cause (though he had an inkling) he immediately took you to the doctor.

"They're allergic to me? What kind of shitty nonsense is that?!"

Leona invested in the most expensive of healthcare for you. Allergy pills and whatnot, because he wasn't about to sacrifice his lovely naps with his significant other. No amount of allergy is gonna stop him from getting what he wants, and that is your affection.

Ruggie

"Sooo...basically you're saying you're allergic to me? Cause' im part heyena?"

"It's a little more complicated than that. It's more like...animal dander? I guess?" You didn't seem to certain in your answer either, it was more or less a guess since...well, there wasn't half beast half human where you are from. You can only make an educated guess on why you're so allergic to him based off of the information you had back at home.

Ruggie is honestly so sad about this. He can't afford to get you any treatments or medical help with this, so you two just have to be careful. He does manage to get his hands on some special washing products (probably legally) and takes extra care of what he eats, and how clean he his. He's consistently brushing his hair and cleaning his ears.

"Man i'm such a simp. What's wrong with me?!" ...He isn't used to bending backward for people. But seeing you so sick around him, hurt him even more than his pride, so he of course would do anything to make sure you're as comfortable around him as possible. Ahh...the power of love <3

Jack

He gives me the "I must stay away from you for your own good," Type. Although this doesn't last very long. Jack is incredibly loyal, and he's far too attached to let you go. There's times where he would try and keep a distance (much to your annoyance), but when you began sneezing and itching your eyes you knew he was somewhere nearby. Jack is protective like that, but it pains his heart to see you so sick because of something he cannot control.

He does both a mix of what Ruggie and Leona does. He took up extra part-time jobs to afford good allergy medication for you, the entire works. Pills, eye drops, nasal sprays, breathing treatments...He also invests in high-quality shampoo and conditioner to help rid of his dander and hopefully reduce the amount of shedding he has.

With the amount of hair Jack has, he is CONSTANTLY brushing it and it is CONSTANTLY shedding. He does EVERYTHING under the sun to control this, all for you. Although... this is a partnership! You told him that a relationship goes two ways. You love him regardless of how itchy you may get, and you equally chip in to problem-solve.

You're both loyal to each other until the very end, no matter what trivial matters may get in your way <3

Azul

He knew before you two started dating that you had a severe allergy to seafood, so he made it a point to avoid you. But...that didn't stop YOU from coming to HIM. It was one of the things that drew him towards you, the way even though you were gaining a rash you would still wrap your arms around the back of him. Although it wasn't as bad in his human form, he was always terrified what would happen if he were to unleash his original form.

But worry not! We are talking about the literal king of potionology. He finds a remedy very quickly, and you trust him...a little too fast. He is astonished when he says;

"Take this...the second you drink this your allergies will be something of the past. But be warned-" You grabbed it out of his hand and chugged it. He stared at you with his jaw slacked open, his face turning a deep shade of hot red when you throw yourself onto Azul and place a big fat kiss against his cheek.

He imploded. But hey! his potion worked! He tried to get you to give him some sort of paypack, but you mentioned that your form of payment was in that kiss.

He now demands kisses every time he makes the potion for you <3 It's kind of a silent agreement. He just stares at you after you're done drinking it, and whenever you feign ignorance the point upon his lips is far too obvious.

Jade

The first time you broke out in hives, he remained completely calm. Jade is rather smart, and he understands your allergy must be because of his disposition as a mer-folk. Although in human form, he couldn't help but notice the way you would hide your rashes either behind makeup or by bulking clothing. He was amused by this for a moment, but when he saw it worsen he couldn't help but become worried.

"Why would you go so far for me? what do you gain by allowing yourself to become sick?" When you replied with a blush that you simply liked Jade, thus his shock soon turned into action. He excused himself for a few days to climb mountains and collect the most effective of flowers and medicinal remedies for allergies and put together a potion that you were able to take to alleviate your symptoms.

He isn't the vice house warden for nothing! His talents and magic prowess truly aided him, albeit in a way that was seemingly selfish. It was all worth it for you, though.

But he does use you as an example during a class project in potionology, having you stand up in front of the class while he compares your allergies before and after taking the potion.

He got a 100% in the project. And a Significant other. A win-win for everyone!

Floyd

Floyd is much smarter than he lets on. The moment he hugs you from behind and touches your arm, he notices the rash right away. He eyed it with a frown, and without saying anything he let go of you much to your dismay, leaving you to your lonesome for a few days on end.

You had to admit you missed Floyd, his silly jokes and way of talking, his unpredictable personality, and the attention he would often give y you. While sitting at the table during a free period, your head was propped up against your hand and a sad sigh escaping your lips.

"Ehhhh? Why is shrimpy sitting here all alone? Didya miss me?" A familiar voice teased as arms wrapped around you and something akin to a vegetable drink set in front of you. You gasped and smile up at the tall male, who wasn't wrapping his arms around you as you were used to, typically ignoring the itching of your rashes. He convinced you to drink what he sat in front of you, and although you eyed it with suspicion, you sighed and drank it in one gulp and tightly shut eyes.

Nothing happened. You turned to look over at Floyd, about to question the purpose of making you drink the (surprisingly tasty) smoothie-like liquid but were quickly interrupted by lips pressing against your own.

The kiss caught you off guard and you began to panic, talking about your allergy...before you realized that nothing was happening. No rash, no itchiness, nothing.

"Seeeee? It's a potion. I made Azul make it for me. Now I can touch you as much as I want," He smiled proudly. However he managed to convince Azul would forever be beyond you...

He forgets to give you the potion sometimes, only when you two are cuddling and a rash or itching pops up do the both of you realize it's time for a dose.

Ya'll are so silly for each other <3

[just-some-random-blogger]

hello, how are you?, my sandman comics haven't arrived yet, but to calm my heart, could you make a picture where the reader doesn't realize that morpheus changes height when they're dreaming, I heard several people say that morpheus changes height when he's in his dream kingdom, a little (or a lot) of kink in size hahaha, because let's admit morpheu knows how to intimidate when he wants to and knows how to make the reader thirsty for him.

Dream, The Big, Touch Deprived Puppy

Dream of the Endless x Reader

Summary: Sometimes, a man just wants to hold his lover in his hands, literally. Is that so bad?"

Word Count: >500

Warnings: BIG BOI DREAM, dense!dream, gender neutral!reader, fluff, suggestive content, typos, etc.

A/N: HI ANON IM WELL AND EXCITED COS I HAVE TWO (2) REMAINING ASSIGNEMNETS LEFT THEN IM FREE TO DIVULGE IN MY FANTASY WORLDS. Also i've been meaning to read the comics because [foams in the mouth] i *NEED* more dream content. I love your prompt SO MUCH [BARKS] I WANT HIM SO BAD I NEED HIM in light of that, here is amazing fan art i found by umikochannart on twitter Tagging: @deniixlovezelda & @pinksirensong + @shadow-pancake9

"Dream... what are you doing?"

"... nothing."

I nearly break my neck trying to look up at him, "then why are you 10 feet tall?"

"I am not. I am precisely--"

"Dream, love, it's a hyperbole-"

"--which is exactly the perfect size for me to be able to wrap my coat around your whole body and so you can nuzzle your face against my torso."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"You expressed how much you enjoy how big I am, so I thought to divulge you in further in your fantasies."

I choke on my spit, "I- W-"

Dream's face contorts at how my face drains of ever living life. His large hand grabs my tiny face and my heart begins to quicken even more than it already has.

His brow knits at my heartbeat echoing in my ribcage, in the whole of dreaming, in his ears, "my love, does the idea of this scare you?"

My wide eyes looking up at him seems to be enough of an answer when I find nothing to say. My gaze slowly falls as Dream's large form begins to shrink back into his normal height. The shock that shot up my spine at his comment melts into chuckles, but then falls into concern when Dream begins to get even smaller.

"Dream, I'm not-"

"I did not mean to frighten you," he says in a small voice as I lower my gaze on his reducing form.

"I did not anticipate this reaction."

I let out a huff, "Dream."

"Yes?"

"Get back up."

Once Dream is in his normal and notably sullen (even more than usual) state, I chuckle and take my turn to caress his face.

He looks down at me, hands coming to my sides as he presses his forehead on mine, "I apologize, my love. It was not my intenti-"

"Baby boy," I sigh deeply, rubbing his cheeks. "you totes misread me."

Dream pulls away, brows furrowing.

I nibble my lower lip before uttering my response, "I just- I didn't expect the big comment... not when I'm pretty sure I dreamt about how big you are just recently."

Dream gives me a look that screams, bitch-wtf-you-DID-dream-about-it-NO-SHIT-i'm-literally-the-king-of-dreams-MY-NAME-is dream-I-know-you-dreamt-it-WHY-DO-YOU-THINK-I'M-DOING-THIS-IN-THE-FIRST-PLACE?

I giggle at the look, knowing he still hasn't gotten it. I push myself against him and bring myself close enough to whisper like a secret, "how big you feel inside me."

His shifts immediately. His hand forces any space between us when he pulls me flush against him. Dream's lips begin to curl at the sound of the heartbeat.

"See, now you get it," I chuckle softly, biting my lower lip again.

He hums, stealing my lips before saying, "it was my mistake for forgetting how needy my pretty lover is."

My breath hitches when I begin to feel him slip out of my fingers as his form begins to grow. This time around he reaches a size bigger than what he previously was.

"D-Dr- I- am only mortal-"

I squeak when he picks me up and like a ragdoll in his arms.

I look at him as he looks ahead, heading, I knew surely, to the bedroom. I gulp as a genuine nervousness laces my voice, "what if I break in half?"

My stomach drops when he smirks, "but do you not beg me ever so often to do so?"

[connorjared]

there are so many things I could say and back up with my annotations but there are some things I want to say

- connor is an unreliable narrator, but in an interesting way. unlike evan, connor's text is purposely written like he's trying to seem WORSE than he is. that's why I think rereading the book as an adult (especially if you have worked with kids) is so incredibly tragic. it's easier to see every way he was utterly failed both personally and systemically when you are no longer the child being failed personally and systemically

- connor is canonically a victim of the troubled teen industry and says it was BETTER than rehab. this genuinely breaks my heart because you can catch little pieces of CPTSD throughout his text and dialogue—he becomes extremely defensive and assumes evan is "tricking him into looking crazy," he states relief there's no longer anyone "waiting around the corner to catch him or check for red in his eyes" this child was treated like a criminal and the one place he felt safe in was removed when he chose to take the blame for something that he didn't do (see below)

- connor taking the fall for his... situationshipfriend miguel because he knew his parents were rich enough and he was white enough to get a more lenient punishment for WEED (which. the criminalization of that and the stigma is a whole OTHER thing) this haunts me. the act itself is noble, unhealthily self sacrificing, but that's not what gets me. his proclaimed friend not only allows him to do this, but even after connor GOES TO REHAB FOR HIM miguel doesn't tell his own mom the truth, causing her to ban the two of them hanging out and connor LOSES his only safe space right after undergoing rehab that he never even needed

- connor canonically has been put on and off multiple medications , we unfortunately don't know when this started but we DO know it was not in his control. SSRIs take a long time to work and shouldn't be switched quickly even for adults, let alone teenagers, and they ESPECIALLY should not be used as stand-ins for accommodations of a disability. there's far more I could say about other medications this might have been such as an SNRI (which connor has said to have less than favorable opinions of) and this is possibly even MORE concerning

- there has been a BUZZ on tiktok about how zoe was a girl icon for being forced to mourn her "abusive brother" and while they definitely had a toxic sibling dynamic fed by their toxic parental dynamic, the idea the toxicity was one sided is just... wrong. not even subjectively, the narrative WANTS you to know this is wrong, at least in the book. the musical... lets just say, im glad they wrote the book. it doesn't undo the honestly pretty shit messaging of the musical, but it adds context that helps derail claims like the one above that add further stigma to victims of suicide. zoe is verbally degrading to connor in recollections and in the small amount of time we hear her speak about him (though, this does change as her character develops throughout the book and she begins to mourn him properly.) zoe is a glass child. she resents all of the negative attention connor received because she didn't get any attention at all. so, she often sides with larry through the book, who is said to have more or less gotten tired of connor and considered him attention seeking, which would be something INCREDIBLY validating for a glass child to hear. zoe is, unfortunately and ironically, often written with detail but no substance. evan, who I could talk about at length and very angrily, constantly prattles small things he notices about her—but, and im not sure if this is the author's intention or not, she barely gets any true characterization outside of her interactions with others, which strangely almost makes her a side character (which i suppose she is) but there are some core parts of HER identity and her character alone that can be picked up throughout the book and i could go on for hours about that and i will not now but i will

- i didn't even touch on cynthia and larry and their abuse (yes! people can love their children and be abusive) but by god i will. by god

dear evan hansen fandom please interact. if u disagree i will probably point an autism beam at you in the form of a personally crafted video essay on why I am right and you are wrong. I have read this book inside and out

[taeraerizz]

live, laugh, love taerae

「taerae x gn!reader」 genre: fluff

summary: you love taerae. he loves you. and how does he show that? through a convenience store date of course :)

warnings: snacks and a grave is mentioned? +all in lowercase

wc: 725 (not really proofread)

a/n: i've never written a fic before, i have no idea what im doing so pls give me feedback or any reccomendations. if something does not suit a gn!reader or i missed out on any warnings pls tell i would hate to be that person 😭. please interact w this fic in any way if u liked it. besides that pls be kind and enjoy taerae's love. dont forget to vote!!

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

the town was slowly starting to settle down as the night passed by. the only thing brightening up the street being the convenience store behind you as the dim light of the lightpost seemed as if it hadn't been replaced for the past 4 years. traffic was few, only a couple of taxis and buses carrying tired workers back home. and if it wasn't for the loud chime of the bell of the conveniece store door, you could swear that you were able to hear your mum watching her favourite tv show a few roads down.

"y/n!" you lift your gaze up from your slippers to meet the pair of eyes whose owner gifted you with them just last week. apparently he saw them in a stall on the side of the road and its cute ears reminded him of you. the pair of eyes that held so much comfort that you didn't think it was possible that an actual living human could have such mesmerising eyes. the same owner of that contagiously genuine smile that would brighten up even the gloomiest of days. oh, and the owner of that charming voice that got you hooked from the very first conversation held between the two of you. the beauty of kim taerae was limitless.

"y/n, i got you something special!" taerae announced as he started to lightly jog his way to your seats with a plastic bag in his hands. "well you took almost a century in there so i sure hope you did," you chuckled with a teasing tone. he squinted his eyes in return, slightly leaning away in his seat. "oh well, you just won't get the most special present that i've ever ever gifted in my life then," he huffed as he hugged the plastic bag that rested on his lap to hide you from its contents. you giggled at his actions.

"better than these slippers?" "definitely better than those slippers," he stated confidently, suddenly pulling a seriously face. "alright alright grand prince show me the damn thing already," you said with a cheesy smile.

"okay drum roll please…" the sound of your fingers hitting the edge of the table could slightly be heard amongst the rustling of taerae's plastic bag. "and please do close your eyes too love." a couple minutes went by and the beats of your fingers were starting to slow down, your eyes fighting the urge to unshut. "just need to fix up one more thing… and done! i present to you, the love of my life, this gift to symbolise my gratefulness towards your presence in my life these past few years." your eyes were closed but you just knew that the smile he had on his face was one that could even make the most deadliest beasts fall in love. "now, you may open your eyes!" and you weren't wrong. because the scene you saw when you opened your eyes was a scene that you would love to frame and take to your grave to hold onto forever if you could.

taerae's beautiful figure, the quiet city behind him, and the string lights hanging off the umbrella that shaded the two of you. oh what a heavenly sight it was. too mesmerised by the scene in front you, you completely forgot about the so called most special present taerae has ever gifted. "y/n? y/n! hellooo y/n?" you broke out of the trance you were in and made eye contact with taerae whose sparkling eyes kept looking back and forth between you and the table infront of you. so you followewd his gaze… and subconciously, tears clouded your sight. your favourite snacks, tulips (your favourite), along with photo strips you took earlier that day were beautifully arranged into a bouqet. each and every one of them radiating one thing, love. "how- what- when did yo-" you were choked up. your brain wasn't functioning properly and you couldn't process the fact that taerae, THE kim taerae had just gifted you with the most precious thing you could ever recieve. you looked up to see his face, it looked even more dear than it ever did before. "i love you y/n. i really do."

and though you knew it was impossible. you wanted to stay there forever. with the actual no.1 gift that could never be beaten. kim taerae.

[its-the-sa]

I'd love to hear your interpretations on those dreams at the end of artificer's campaign, the ones where you're trapped in a hallway with a scav and you have to kill them.

Personally, it's very interesting to me that in some of them, the player is the one controlling the scavenger (imagine a dream where you're someone else and it's you that's the killer, that's fucked up). I like to imagine that they began as basically arti's bloodlust carrying over to her dreams, but over time they got more complex, more detailed. Less of a violent fantasy and more of a reoccurring nightmare, maybe a symbol of her regret or a general disgust for senseless violence.

I have a headcanon where the dreams eventually make arti so sick to the stomach at the idea of violence she decides to give it up entirely, only fighting to kill something to eat. It's how I felt after finishing her campaign- I was so exhausted from the fight with the chieftain that once I won, I didn't have it in me to go around killing any more scavengers. I just felt bad for them and watched them run away from me. I couldn't do it anymore.

THIS THIS THIS!!! seriously, so many people seem to think that arti just genuinely enjoys murdering scavs, and... i mean i kinda get where theyre coming from, but to me it seems pretty clear that she is just constantly re-traumatizing herself.

like yes, she is consumed by rage, and im sure she does get satisfaction from killing them in the heat of the moment. but afterwards, i think it definitely haunts her. i imagine she tries to tell herself that 'they're all the same' and 'they deserve it', but she knows deep down that isn't true. she just keeps choosing violence because it's easier than accepting her loss. just like some people try to drown their sorrows in drugs or alcohol, arti tries to drown hers in blood. it's a self-destructive coping mechanism. as long as she is out there fighting for her life, finding enemies to hate and kill, she doesnt have to sit with her pain. but, once she goes to sleep, she cant run from her demons anymore. she has to relive her trauma and her grief, and she has to face the twisted monster she's allowed it to turn her into. theyre called 'nightmares' for a reason, after all-- they aren't fantasies about something she enjoys doing. even in the ones where she is still 'herself', she is trapped as surely as the scavenger is. theres no going back at that point. she has already dug herself into a hole where there is no choice but to keep killing.

and the ones where she is dreaming from the scav's point of view? that is like... the most perfectly brutal representation of repressed guilt i have ever seen. it shows that she on some level sympathizes and identifies with the scavengers she kills, that she's horrified at what she has become, and that she is inevitably destroying herself. all just by simply changing who the player is controlling. its freaking brilliant tbh.

anyway, i think that ultimately arti just feels guilty. she blames herself for not protecting her pups. she didnt watch them closely enough, she dropped them when she was running away, she didnt realize the blue pup got left behind at first, and she couldn't dive in the water to save the green pup. she feels like she failed them. so i think that once she took revenge on those toll scavs, the only person she had left to punish was herself. and she did it by going on to project her guilt onto every scavenger she saw. she chose to become a monster because thats what she felt she deserved to be treated like

[hyp3rfixation-h3ll]

alright chat . it's time for "dissecting the inherent tragedy of transformers: botbots and the relationships in them":

toxic doomed yuri edition ( referring to these two ↑ )

(yes, i made this picmix myself 4 this. i have no regrets. also no tl;dr because you guys NEED to read this)

something i want y'all to understand is that it is Not about the idea that spud wasn't loved. he was VERY much loved by everyone, ESPECIALLY burgertron.

the whole point is that he sabotaged himself in the process of ruining someone else's life, someone who valued him and his word above others. he and burgertron BOTH let their ego get in the way of their personal lives, the only difference is that burgertron at least had the dignity to swallow his pride and apologise when it mattered most.

He gave spud a second chance because he loved him. because he recognised that he does deserve redemption, and above all else, he wants spud to know he cares, even if that means he'll never see him again, or they'll never be friends. (Even in light of the "sidekick" comment, i genuinely don't think he held any inherent malice in that statement. even if burgs was an egotist, he still loved him.)

the worst thing burgertron did in their relationship was be unaware, and im sure that despite his ego, he never meant for spud to get hurt. that's why he went out of his way to protect him, when he couldve just stood there and let spud get put on the back of a truck to never be seen again. it would have been easy.

but he didn't. he did the hard thing. the Right thing. he stood up for someone who never did the same for him.

Spud Was Loved. Spud Is loved. and sometimes love isn't going to look pretty, or manifest in holding hands and cuddling, and it isn't all rainbows and sunshine. it can hurt. it can be letting go of someone who you hurt by accident, who you never meant to harm, but it happened anyways because you made the fatal mistake of being oblivious.

And that's what Burgertron did. he let Spud go, because he understood they both needed time to heal on their own terms. regardless of if he's mad at him or not, he does still harbor positive feelings for him, and he stood up for him during times he probably shouldn't have. If he ACTUALLY hated spud, he wouldn't have stuck his neck out for him at bot prom. or believe spud when he was lying through his teeth in the games.

And that's what makes them so tragic. perhaps in another world, another life, they'd have been Actual good friends, who truly stuck by each other. maybe things would have been different.

But we'll never know that now, will we?

[bumofthewild]

what are your thoughts on the stormblood characters. did you like fordola at all

i wanted to organise my thoughts (oxymoron) on the sb chars actually so this is a good opportunity to start. none of my thoughts are positive though bc i think sb's writing is really bad so when i probably start to sound aggro during this while remembering this expansion i'm sorry.... i try not to be mean when criticising things but i have very little respect for stormblood. also this is about to be extremely long like im not kidding but i figure ppl expect that by now? i hope

i can't really talk abt the stormblood chars without mentioning how much this expansion worships whiteness. and thats even after playing heavensward????? with all of the stuffy white (though beloved) elves who love their white elf history??? fantasy rpgs in general ig. and from square enix. idk why i was so shocked by sb... its a fantasy rpg from square enix....that was truly my bad...................

but fordola isn't who bothers me the most anymore at least. while i was playing sb she used to be the worst sb character to me bc i just thought she was silly and hard to take seriously. initially i was just uninterested in her personality solely being a traitorous attack dog for the empire. that's not to say i don't think sellouts are interesting--i actually think characters like that are very interesting, hence why yotsuyu is one of the more interesting chars (but not by much). it's more that i dont think a single stormblood character was doing anything interesting enough for me to really appreciate, or if they were, it went nowhere or was so poorly developed that any new thing i learned about a character felt random. i feel like anything that could have been interesting in sb was squandered constantly. a lot of them had the potential to be interesting, but were instead so bizarrely flat and almost kind of cliche that i genuinely struggle to put it into words how sb managed to achieve this. possibly bc the story was so preoccupied with repeatedly driving home the same uncomplicated ideas about war and oppression (this would require a separate post) that any sort of actual personality was more or less lost? maybe because it didn't really have a foundation it was working from to keep itself focused? i feel like a lot of time would pass with the characters making the same realisations over and over again (we have to defeat zenos...!) and then when it came time for actual developments it had to rush, thus the feeling of being random. of course, unless, the character was from othard, which the game obviously gave more of a fuck about developing as a location.

like i think fordola's really serious and unwavering personality, the fact that she would do literally ANYTHING to accomplish whatever it is she wanted, could be interesting. if there wasn't so little else going on with her. and also that unlike her fellow ala mhigans she's white. i can't stress how ridiculous it was to watch her or lyse be presented as so important/be the more relevant ala mhigans and everyone else is brown and they're just white. but it wasn't only that she was white. there was just nothing else really going on with her whenever you saw her that provided any kind of intrigue or texture to her scenes. nothing about her character ever changed. until they reveal her motivations for joining the imperials (????)

ok anyone can correct me if i'm wrong, but her goal is to free the ala mhigans from the imperials.....?????? like i'm 100% sure that's what she said. but how does upwards mobility in an imperial nation that relishes in using the word "savage" to describe your people seem even remotely like how that's going to happen? i actually could not fathom for a long while that was what she had said. like i fail to find another way to describe this aside from idiotic, and i often try not to consider things in those terms, but i really don't know how else to describe this. like. this is what i mean when i say the backstory for the characters feels so poorly constructed it genuinely feels random. nothing about her behaviour to me suggested she gave a fuck about ala mhigo. it didn't turn out to be some grand farce when she had her skulls or whoever stomping on the brown guy who they collect dues from in the middle of the road the first time she was introduced. so i just have no idea why that's what her goals are or how i'm meant to believe that's what she wants. i have no idea why she would care about ala mhigo except that her father does or something? but that explained so little to me bc it was lazily done and she definitely does not demonstrate any resolve re that memory except for the one time you see it so okay

similarly, nothing suggests to me that she's deluded enough to believe this path she's on will lead to freedom, either. she didn't seem unaware of the cruelty of the imperials. she's actually meant to seem very capable and smart considering she's established her own unit amongst the other garleans and ends up getting the apparently desirable prize of being zenos' little pogchamp but then what???? why does she think that zenos will give her what she wants?? i literally do not understand what her angle is supposed to beeeee

so i considered the angle that what she said is actually not what we're meant to believe and we're actually meant to extract from the story that she's on a revenge quest for her father against the ala mhigans, and the best way to enact that would be to join the side that's oppressing them. except how she's expressed her motives and how the game makes it clear shes carrying on her father's beliefs for a better ala mhigo doesn't really imply that this is out of revenge either? also she'd be doing the exact same thing yotsuyu is doing, which could be possible bc this expansion can't write. but i just don't think that's it. i think if she truly believes that's what will help ala mhigo like her father did i don't care about it being wrong or right and whether she learns that won't work... but then it just seems so silly.......like girl there is literally no way..................... i am stumped trying to think of what this was supposed to mean or what insights her character could possibly be providing aside from the extremely banal "everyone deserves forgiveness" argument stories about colonialism are OBSESSED with trying to make. hmm i wonder why that is, square enix japan? why cant you properly research colonialism? why is media so obsessed with sympathising with colonisers and pretending its even remotely original to keep saying "if we kill this imperialist...we're just as bad as the people who have been systematically oppressing us for decades...." well...!!

im ngl i actually forgot about fordola until u brought her up bc post-sb really seemed to be gearing her up for the aforementioned redemption arc. but then i forgot how much ala mhigo gets pushed aside to put the spotlight back on doma. bc after she helps you fight sri lakshmi (another character who they just had to make white btw despite the vira/qalyana being brown bedlah babe snake women. they worship a white god. whatever i hate my life) she just vanishes. i thought that was maybe the most interesting thing they did with her character even despite my hatred for lazy redemption arcs for colonialists and cheap backstories about dead parents, bc i liked that she wasn't forgiven and that she herself didn't seem to know what was in store for her own life anymore, but stubbornly chose to help everyone fight and was still really driven despite all her L's. and then you just never see her again. as far as i can tell anyways, and i do not want to know actually bc im still in shadowbringers.

in a parallel world where stormblood is well-written i see myself liking fordola a lot. but this is not that world and i can't keep spending my time imagining a world where sb could be good. like... she just lacked a foundation that really made any of her actions make sense to me. was i meant to feel bad her dad got stoned for selling out to garlemald? i'm not being sarcastic i genuinely dont know if thats what the game wanted. i assume it is bc this entire expansion reeks of endless humanisation for white characters, but ive said the writing is so bad as to leave me genuinely confused abt its purpose many times already.

anyways the absolute worst waste of a char to me is zenos. i haven't had such a hard time taking a character seriously in a long time, and asahi gets introduced shortly after so competition was definitely fierce. i think part of it was that he was one of the few chars id seen fanart of b4 i got to him in the game which gave me the impression he was going to be insightful or something, so maybe i had given myself expectations. but ultimately i was left with maybe the most simplistic main villain this game has produced thus far. which is a shame, bc like fordola there's aspects of his char that i found really interesting, only for them to be routinely squandered with each new cutscene. initially i thought his disinterested, calmer demeanour was interesting in comparison to the other imperial chars, like gaius, who had a lot of thoughts about/passion for what he was doing. i like characters who feel a sort of existential boredom...like a real dead inside char who discovers a sort of esoteric way to live or regains meaning thru someone else--i love that trope! wanting to forever be locked in a cycle of violence with wol. sure. why not! i like that sort of thing! i was even willing to ignore the blonde hair and blue eyes (i wasn't) like i've done this before as someone who used to devote a lot of time to dimitri fe3h. this is not new to me.

but the thing is the moment zenos started talking about the thrill of the hunt i felt something in me wither and die. that trope is not interesting! i will never find it interesting!!!!!!!! if you do i'm happy for you but not me. his nihilism could have been interesting if it wasn't manifesting itself thru the subjugation of the fantasy brown people this game invented just to subjugate like...can we be serious. even just the scale of that was so beyond moronic to me. i had such a hard time suspending my disbelief whenever he opened his mouth... that i was supposed to care about this prince who was deathly bored of it all but somehow still gave a fuck about maintaining the occupation and fetishising the struggle? it was so hard to reconcile any of what he said with his actual apparent years of behaviour. like okay, i already know whiteness is synonymous with violence and ppl are unwilling to take that seriously, but seeing that realised in the sheer scale of colonial violence zenos apparently engages in and then for him to turn around and be like grr i'm gripped by such potent ennui and this is really deep. what about this was supposed to be complex or interesting or well-thought out. i genuinely have no clue

what made it even funnier (worse) to me was that before i got to stormblood i was back at home watching my dad play two separate video games where the main villain was a white guy with the exact same motivations: everything else in life now bored them except for this very specific (and not socially constructed at all apparently!) thrill of hunting real people/framing life as some social darwinist thought experiment that definitely has to be true bc look at how many ppl ive killed and conquered? what's left for me in this life now that i'm at the very top of the very real and not invented and not racist social pyramid.........? but it's not just a me thing humans are just like violent and actually love killingand i am very smart <- like how is this not just a blatantly normalised concept in life in general. nothing about zenos having this outlook reads as crazy or interesting to me, it actually just feels monumentally simple. he was just reading from the coloniser textbook. my sis actually told me while we were talking about the game that there's a book called "the most dangerous game" where i'm assuming this trope as it exists in media probably stems from, if not just the like usual racism/unfortunate fascination with imperialism over and over and over and over again. i just...that his thoughts on the consequences of his actions, the sheer amount of conquest he's engaged in, are largely due to some fatalistic boredom that comes from just being way too strong and too powerful and elevated above the savages. like okay dude.

i think if they had just removed that shit (except idk if thats possible the colonialism is so entrenched in this expansion bc ff couldnt conceive a non-white race without oppressing them) then his character would have been a lot better......maybe..? idk all that shit he says to you before he goes shinryu mode about violence or his being self-serving wouldn't have been original but at least it'd have been a lot easier to believe as his ideology without this nonsensical pile of bodies behind it that i literally could not take seriously. his final monologue was hard to sit through bc it all felt so random. my sis also pointed out that he doesn't feel relevant to the story, especially ala mhigo's story, at all, and i genuinely agree. i feel like they must have had a lot of ideas for him separately and then shoved him into this expansion because they needed a strong villain or something to keep their already thin plot running. with other villains you can see where they get their ideas from or why they're doing what they do and how their actions might progress the story. gaius for eg is a char i find really interesting bc i thought his opinions on primals in arr which is about primals was really interesting, and his conceptions of an ideal empire as well. like he actually has a leg to stand on and compelling things to say. nidhogg is also a good enemy to me, and i dont care so much for thordan but i still think he had interestingly selfish motivations and contributed ideas to the story. maybe that's because hvw didn't wallow so much in a simplistic good vs. evil like stormblood did...like hvw isnt just war its revising centuries of propagandized history and learning to change your own beliefs and going thru a lot of interesting discomfort (to put it mildly). stormblood i thought tried to be complicated at times when for eg meffrid (one of the only chars i liked in sb btw) would occasionally argue with lyse on what's "right" for occupied ppl to be doing during their occupation, like how a lot of ala mhigans wanted to keep their head down. you can see where that idea gets used throughout sb like in namia, but it never actually gets complicated into something worth thinking about bc again the chars are constantly reachign the same realisations over and over by the end (we have to kill zenos...! ANDTHEN THEY DONT EVEN FUCKIGN KILLGHI). like the ideas don't go anywhere, which might be for the best bc in my perfect world this game would not be writing about any of this. and now meffrid is dead bc ff doesn't give af about the ala mhigans or developing their thoughts/beliefs beyond the occasional potentially interesting idea on the map dialogue. atp i just feel blessed zenos doesn't have a backstory so that his personality isn't the result of some lazily done traumatic event. well i say that but the game couldn't even keep him dead so fuck my life. who knows what's in store for me. plz dont tell me.

all the thoughts i have are negative i'm so sorry but the chars i actually liked like gosetsu just get ruined by the time post-sb gets its evil evil hands on them so this expansion is genuinely just dead to me. i used to like gosetsu a lot, and i thought the shame he carried with him for abandoning hien a long time ago was a fun addition to his character. one of my favourite tropes is when a character just wants to die...like they feel like they've emotionally exhausted themselves and don't know what to do with the end of their life. i find that kind of thing really poignant. and i'm pretty satisfied w how they wrapped up his arc, actually, with him deciding to go on a sort of pilgrimage. it was just how they got there i absolutely hated.

it just keeps going back to an inability to write. for eg, if what they wanted was to complicate gosetsu's character by demonstrating how someone extremely self-sacrificial and devoted to his country's cause could actually really want to indulge in something, they choose to do it by having him play an uncomfortable game of house with someone who's murdered an innumerable amount of their country's people. but its okay bc instead of giving that idea any meaningful thought, here's a throwaway line about how he had a granddaughter so it makes sense he's doing this, also we're going to age regress the coloniser so its okay she's basically a child now which isn't a total slap in the face for everyone involved including the player, and then we're going to play these scenes for laughs and everyone is totally fine with it and it's not lazy writing at all.

asahi too i thought was an example of just poor writing, bc why is a single almost zero-context scene of zenos saving him supposed to do anything to explain his behaviour. does that not just seem lazy? he doesn't like zenos for any other reason...? we don't see asahi's thoughts on zenos except for this one cut scene where the chars could be replaced with how meaningless it is and then from then on his suddenly passionate behaviour is just supposed to be engaging...? i personally thought he was a lot more interesting when he seemed to genuinely believe in the bullshit he was saying about the empire being gracious and forgiving and rubbing his hands obsequiously at wol and being overly flattering and just a sort of greasy spoiled bastard. but then of course this totally obvious reveal happens and he's just some "crazy" guy who just wants to be his coloniser's lapdog bc he's sooooooo strong. fascinating. post-sb felt like a bad tv drama. its like the ideas in somewhat isolation are alright but they just stopped caring

tbf to asahi i did like his moments with yotsuyu. if they weren't so steeped in like....the weirdest plot points ever (random-ass yandere behaviour and yotsuyu behaving like a child) i would have been a lot more invested in the punishment they enacted on their parents for grooming one to be an imperial officer and the other being sold off. yotsuyu's backstory is still kind of typical but i thought she was like. interesting enough. she was ok. i could believe in/enjoy their callousness a lot more readily than a certain other character ive already said too much about. i think their truly awful sibling relationship had potential. dare i repeat myself about what happens to potential in this expansion

i wish i had more to say about hien and yugiri and lyse but they kind of just...idk. they just feel kind of shallow......... i don't think they really get developed much, i mean i definitely have things to say but there's just nothing really there that inspires me to do so and this post is already way too long. maybe when i finally write like an essay on how mjuch i dont respect stormblood. i like yugiri though. her hometown is very cool but she just gets relegated to "dutiful ninja" that they use when something needs to be done that wol isnt going to do, and they don't go into much detail about what really pushed her to leave or how exactly she felt, they just kind of have her parents tell you thats what she did. i liked the part though where she was like WE NEED TO KILL ZENOS RN bc it suddenly seemed out of character almost but then well where did that go...ok. hien just feels genuinely evil to me like his vibes are so off and i could not tell you why but he's kind of just there to move the plot forward so i really don't have much to say about him. and talking about lyse would just make this post even longer and more hateful. i used to really like her too.

time for something positive...? i really liked the azim steppe when it wasn't being so randomly misogynistic. that was where i was most interested in what was going on bc it had less to do with the war, but then you bring the war to them so...*screaming*. like it's a shame to me that the xaela are still framed by a focus on war, but the dotharl's concept of rebirth and the other practices the different groups had were maybe the most interesting things to me in the entire expansion. also how gosetsu had that moment with one of the dotharl warriors who died without it being some weirdly ignorant clash of beliefs. i liked that part a lot. sadu and magnai and cirina arent developed enough for me to have much of worth to say about them rn bc like yugiri and hien they kind of just become channels for the story, but at least they have a lot of personality and there's a lot to work with. also its 2am. i'm hoping to have more ideas re the xaela when i get around to doing the sidequests in that area, which i think will help me round out their characters more. i called cirina having a thing for hien from like a mile away btw bc this game is so unserious. anyways i think there should be like a spin-off about sadu magnai and cirina and if it doesn't come to exist soon i will grow like ten extra hands and make it myself

[yanderes-galore]

HHGRRYG,,, 2018 DONNIE WITH PROMPT 20 AND 34,,, IM GOING INSANE

I'm happy you like the character, Anon, lolol ^^; Also, this makes sense as a lot in the series his brothers gloss over his plans and ideas. Aged up as usual.

Yandere! ROTTMNT Donatello Prompts 20 + 34

Pairing: Romantic

"I've been waiting too long for this...."

"No one else understands me except you!"

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Stalking, Clingy behavior, Delusional behavior, Manipulation, Kidnapping, Forced relationship.

Donatello was used to his brothers not giving him the attention he feels he deserves. Not many people understood him or wanted to talk things out with him. April did, yes, but other than her not many enjoyed his intellect and chat.

Then he met you, purely by chance when he was going undercover, and he started up conversation. He was surprised when you showed fascination and wanted to know more about his tech. Nothing malicious like his encounter with the Purple Dragons, genuine curiosity even if you didn't totally understand it.

"Woah, you like this stuff!?"

"I can see why you'd enjoy it. Honestly, you're quite talented."

"... You have no idea how much that means to me-"

You compliment him and his genius. He barely gets compliments from his brothers and his father, so hearing you so invested gets in his head. He's never shared contact info with someone so fast.

His family was happy he made a new friend once you passed a background check. April was too. You seemed to make Donnie very happy.

Chats between you two would go on for hours. Voice calls, video calls, video games, in person visits.... It was weird to not see Donnie talking with you.

"(Y/N) totally gets me, April! We talk nonstop!"

"That sounds great, Donnie! But, you are taking breaks, right?"

"Why would I need breaks? I adore all the texts and calls we share-!"

Donatello's behavior around you screamed crush. He wanted to impress you to get more of your praise. He went into withdrawls when you couldn't talk with each other.

His brothers thought he was being obsessive. They tried not to worry too much about it as he gets like this with video games too... although this felt more and more like an issue as time went on. He wasn't even like this with idols.

"It needs to be PERFECT! This little device is sure to impress (Y/N)...."

His brothers knew they had to do something when Donnie started putting work into drones and trackers. It was obvious what he was about to do. It was not going to be pretty....

"Donnie, you are NOT using those on (Y/N)."

"I wasn't going to!"

"Really now? Why else would you be making a tracker and drone while muttering about (Y/N)?"

"I want to impress (Y/N)...?"

"No, dude. You're being creepy. For (Y/N)'s safety, you need to chill out."

In response to their purple brother's creepy behavior, they do whatever they can to keep you away. Although, when you love someone, something like this does the opposite effect. It only drove him closer to you....

Instead of making Donnie re-evaluate his choices, it made him panic. His own family removed the one person who understood them. Did they not want him happy?

Not understanding what he was doing was wrong, he snapped.

"I've been waiting too long for this...."

The purple gear around you prevented you from moving. Cuffs were wrapped around your wrists, while something was wrapped around your neck to keep you still. Donnie doesn't show any sympathy, only a look of adoration.

"My brothers feel we aren't meant for each other... but I've calculated EVERYTHING."

"Why would you do something like this, Donnie?"

"Isn't this tech amazing!? I made it comfortable enough to not hurt you, just for you. It took me weeks ever since they said we couldn't talk anymore. Then, of course, I have this to keep track of you!"

Donnie holds up a small tracking device, your eyes widening.

"That... didn't answer my question- Where am I, anyway?"

"Oh... my lab. It's all sound proofed though, so, no one's getting in."

"Alright... can you please answer my question, Donnie?"

You're trying to stay brave, not wanting to set him off. Clearly, you made friends with a psychopath. Someone driven to the edge with obsession....

"Hm? Oh, right... well-"

Donnie leans closer, holding your head in his hands.

"No one else understands me except you!"

"Is that why you kidnapped me!?"

"No need to panic, my dearest! Think of this situation like... Romeo and Juliet!"

He backs away and stands up dramatically, grinning.

"My family wants us apart! However, our love is too strong! We're meant to be together! No one can tear us apart...."

"Please, Donnie, you have to know this isn't some play or fairytale fantasy!"

You shake in your restraints, trying to emphasize your point.

"I'm in restraints, in your lab, while you play out delusions. If anything, this is closer to those tales of dragons kidnapping people!"

Donnie gives you a strange look, like you destroyed his fantasy for a moment. His eyes then narrow and he crosses his arms.

"I thought you understood me!"

He screams, looking hurt.

"I thought you'd understand this is how our love story goes! One of drama! One of passion! One perfect for US!"

"You KIDNAPPED me, Donnie!"

Donnie refuses to listen, delving into a sad state. Then he sighs before looking towards you again.

"I... I know but I promise it's the first step to make things work between us! Just give me a chance. The restraints are temporary. You'll be living here for a bit. Do not worry, either! I have all your favorite things ingrained in my head to care for you!"

He steps closer again to hold your head, kissing your nose before giggling. This was clearly not the friend you knew. You had no idea he was this... unstable-

"You have no choice, anyways. There's no running... and I'll find you anywhere."

[22degreehalo]

The more I think about it the more I'm just. obsessed with aroace Yuno!!!!

Like c'mon... 'The wanted wanting the wanter /isn't that just too perfect?' She's not doing this compensated dating because she needs the money or has any huge past trauma, there's something else attracting her: it's that normal relationships feel so fake and dishonest (meanwhile even if her clients get feelings for her, it's not her fault because she was upfront that this is a transactional thing) and with these types she can have full control of what goes on and when and where and why!!!

Which is Also making me think of. Complicated slightly fucked up Yuno+Kazui friendship.

And FIRST OF ALL I'm. very new to this fandom and haven't read Most of the drama CDs hahahaha so this is just my first impression BUT

so she approaches him early (i have no idea if any of this is canon im sso sorry this is just what I want. right now.) because guys like him are common clients (either bc they're divorced and lonely or want to feel young again or whatever) but he's just easygoing abt it but Firm No. ('I'm old enough to be your father.' 'Haha, yeah? Isn't that the point?') And genuinely doesn't seem interested which is kinda annoying but whatever.

So she kinda tries or or two approaches with him, like playing the more sexy role of her second MV, but still he's not giving Anything back At All, and honestly it's weird that she's even trying this hard? Normally it's the other way around??? Like it's not like he can even pay her in here so.

She stews a bit and wonders if she does genuinely have feelings for him finally which'd be both annoying and a relief, and honestly it just Fits that that'd be how these things go lmao that she finally has real legit feelings for a guy with no interest in her. (And Mahiru is probably super excited about it bc this is early when she's still perky and happy and wanting to push them together.)

Maybe at some point Kazui does admit that he feels lonely without someone physically there with him to touch and be close to. So Yuno finally gets him to lie in her lap or vice versa or whatever. But it feels sorta weird. And he gets a bit somber. And wonders aloud if this is what it would've been like to have a daughter.

And she just. Gets up and leaves.

She's had guys say stuff like that before. Sometimes cause they pitied her and wanted to 'save her', which was frustrating, and she'd cut them off immediately. Usually because it was some kinda fucked-up incest roleplay, which she enjoyed; more than most roleplays, actually. The sweet lovey-dovey rps are okay but kinda false and make her feel weirdly guilty; the more messed up ones, she can relax in. Fucked up familial relationships, fucked up romantic relationships: what's the difference?

But Kazui actually meant it. No ulterior sexual or compassionate motives.

She apologises later saying that it's because they never hashed out their red flags or what the scene would be about, but she's the professional here and she didn't make sure that happened so it's her bad. And he just seems to accept that, and says he doesn't want to overstep her boundaries. And seems to mean it.

There's some commonality between them. A willingness to hold themselves back. To not talk about things that people don't want to talk about. This dance of fake affection, until it's impossible to tell what one's true feelings are anymore.

She likes having her relationships set out in clear words, without the actual emotional honesty of having to delve into her own psyche. But now she sort of wants to share things with him, and she has no idea what to do with that. And on his side, he senses some similar circumstances between them, but he still isn't yet able to be honest about what he knows about himself deep down. But maybe if he was, he could talk to her.

There's some talk abt sex among the prisoners. These two are expected to have the most experience, but she's kinda like 'sex is okay. It feels good and it's a means to an end.' And he's weirdly mysterious about it all but claims that his perspective is closest to hers, which confuses everyone else.

And............somehow from that they end up being able to have a conversation about Not Wanting What Society Wants You To Want and the weird relationships you have with all that and the ways you do or don't get what you Actually want, an d it's all very good and meaningful but idk I haven't thought that far yet hahahaha that's as far as I got before I had to type it all up :')))

[nerves-nebula]

So my friend recently told me a story and it led to a very interesting moment.

She told me a (presumably true?) story about a psychologist or something who was studying psychopathy in people and noticed that he had the similar traits or brain scans or something and he asked his loved ones if they'd noticed any kind of psychopathic traits. And they said that yeah, he seemed generally kind of distant and cold. So he tried to perform the motions of Caring More in the ways that they consider more normal i guess.

And he came up to them and was like “I'm trying to make you feel more loved but you can probably tell I’m just going through the motions. It probably doesn’t feel genuine I should just stop.”

and they said that NO actually it was really nice, and made them feel better that he was trying and doing those little things and affirmations to show he cared even if they didn't come naturally to him.

my friends takeaway from this was that it was very sweet. it was a nice story about a guy learning to communicate his affection to people around him. and like. here's the thing. i get that, I do, it's sweet he's making an effort for them. I'm not trying to disparage the idea of making efforts for the people you love and doing things that don't come naturally to you for the sake of making them feel better. that's sweet, i get it.

but my immediate reaction was like. GOD. how depressing. his loved ones didn't care about how he showed affection, like, at all. they felt he was cold, and once they realized he was different, instead of trying to understand him and the fact that he wasn't being intentionally "cold" or whatever to them, they encourage him to go through the motions of something that feels awkward and insincere.

like they didn't teach themselves to learn that when he does a certain thing he means it a certain way, they just wanted him to go through the motions with them. and it's sweet that he did, but what about them? what are they doing to understand him?

and obviously im reading a lot into this story, and i'm putting a lot of myself into my interpretation. i'm sure he was fine with it, or else he wouldn't do it. I don't know the specifics because this is just a story i was told, so there's probably all kinds of stuff i'm not considering.

but to me it's such a depressing story. because all I've ever wanted was to not have to put up a front around the people i care about the most. i want to be able to be myself and not have to go through any of the socially accepted motions, or put up the kinds of walls that exhaust me when im interacting with people who don't know me well.

the idea that people could know me for years and never try to understand the way i show affection? the idea that they think it would be BETTER for me to go through the insincere motions of mimicking their signs of affection, instead of being genuine with how i love them?

like, what do you people even want. do you want friends? do you even want to be close to someone?? because it just sounds like you want someone to confide in, who will be fake with you as long as it comforts you. it sounds so miserable.

it sounds like being told that your love isn't enough, it's weird and wrong and not worth it. it isn't what anyone who isn't like you would want, and it isn't acceptable to believe that THEY should make an effort for YOU, even if YOU make the effort to understand THEM more.

i have made the effort. i've trained myself into saying more "nice" or "polite" things. i'm still working on my habitual cruelty, which i do without even thinking. i'm not very good at it yet but it's an ongoing process and i'm working on being more considerate. and it's not enough. it's not enough to be better, because my love and affection is still wrong and bad. because I show my dedication through actions, and I don't say enough of the meaningless phrases that are supposed to comfort you. and i'm so tired and bitter about it.

cuz even my closest friend expects me to be fake. forever. or until i've faked it enough that it's second nature to me.

i wonder if I'll be "fixed" enough for everyone by then.

[raitnrong]

ive been so tempted to make my own geeta post ever since ive written down this one response on an analysis on her. i've actually come to make my own conclusions abt her character while making and it's making me go '???' at all the apparent hate on her.

genuinely i rly do just want to know what piece i've missed abt her dialogue that's gotten the ppl against her buzzing

i in fact do think that geeta is a great top champion! she conducts check-ins w the gyms, has gotten herself involved in the proceedings of the school (a great thing to have done as a top champion btw, recognizing it's important to be updated and engaged in paldea's new generation), and takes her role as the top champion very seriously! (so srs that she's caught onto nemona's need to be able to battle at her fullest when she'd had her exam)

she may have had her flaws like being meddlesome n a bit careless at times (like sending the player to larry w/o a head-up on his part|| a lot of ppl hate this, however this could be construed like she trusts larry to be able to handle such matters instead. depending on ur outlook)

but overall she looks like she does her job w grace. n everyone is flawed?? tho yes it's not an excuse when it comes to having responsibilities as big as hers, but even in a professional light she's not so egregious as to receive the amount distrust she has

a lot of ppl in game hold her in high esteem-- larry is snappy at her yes but why the hell is that suddenly made to define her character? "oh, larry has something going on w geeta n that is but a seed as to why she's fishy as hell!" like??

im p sure larry doesnt even hate her guts! like yes there's dislike there but is larry rly full of loathing so as to have to constantly 'go against the world' bc of his job n his boss? yes his dialogue abt normal types n ppl expecting flashy things were remarkable. but in the context of pokemon? as if id actually believe that!!

(normal types have their own strengths, they're not run-of-the-mill. they don't shine just because "they don't shine". normal pokemon are awesome for being normal pokemon period! it's a type like any other is. not to say his philosophy abt liking a pokemon is any less valid! gym leaders find their types due to many motivations)

anyway getting off topic hahah, larry could just be grumpy in general. so where does ppl get the idea that it makes geeta evil...

is it the design huh. look deep in urself and be honest ,':T

one point btw on how geeta is in fact clever and heartful (that shes not some power-crazed harpy and but is simply engaged in her work) is this point i made abt geeta's decisions with penny.

now if u recall, penny hacked the league in order to be able to reward the player for putting up w cassiopeia's operations

when she told clavell, he said it was out of his jurisdiction n that the decision was to rest on geeta.

and what did geeta do?

she CHOSE to be lenient w penny by instead having her work off her debt to the league by having her improve their cyber networks.

a hobby that penny already does and likes btw! she could have been further expelled or sent off like last time, but instead, geeta's choice was to allow penny the chance to face the consequences of her actions by having penny use her talents as she'd recognized it. geeta didn't see an opportunity for punishment but instead she chose growth.

for her, it'd come to light that they now had two problems: a child facing massive trouble for what is the equivalent of govt.theft and the league's shoddy security. and then she sought a solution that solves both in the most holistic and frickin' effective way possible! wow! it's insane!

she's not taking advantage of penny, it was her intervention of helping her >:T

im sure even penny appreciated her penalty bc she's mature enough to recognize what she's done wrong, does have knack for tech, and she knows she's helping paldea in return w her IT direction (and she's a good kid!)

--hc timee: now imagine nemona and penny bonding over their admiration for la primera as her helpers pls :))--

i would love to hear the points against her other than hcs tho! i may have missed something from the game bc rly i was more tuned to the trio's arcs (esp nemo's) rather than the adults' characters (except for clavell)

but srsly y would ppl hope that there's an agenda ruining scarvi's experience w paldea. tho yes leaders r in the risk of turning corrupt, the fact that there'a no direct text on pkmn is already a testament as geeta's quite clean now.

[cartoonrival]

do you think sakura could be arospec?

this is something ive been thinking about especially because i hc the rest of team 7 as aro/aspec for their own independent reasons so it just like. seems like shes left out if shes not. to be fully honest i think her sexuality is pretty much free reign in terms of headcanons because even though her crush on sasuke is supposedly at the center of her story theres a million angles you can take on it regarding how genuine that crush actually is. the same argument people use to hc her as a lesbian could be used to say shes aro or that she's literally just not in love with him but still caved the general pressure to pick someone to be in love with.

her crush on sasuke being some form of comphet definitely does carry water, considering how she presents her crush on him to ino and her friends like it's an accomplishment that will make them like her more, and obviously her crush is exaggerated to the point that it wouldn't be a stretch to say she's just acting how she's seen people on tv act when they're in love.

on the other hand, i think observing that sakura has slightly mildly obsessive tendencies from the start is kind of important to understanding how her time with team 7 turns her into the person she is at the end of the story; someone who will go through hell and high water for the people she loves, for the idea of a perfect team that she only got to see flashes of to begin with. she is, after all, the only person who naruto (an insane person) feels understood by in his love for sasuke. that's the reason he feels drawn to her, and he's admitted this multiple times. with this in mind, i also don't think its inaccurate to say that her crush on sasuke could easily be genuine. she's 12, after all, a first crush at that age does make you act stupid.

the point of all this is to set the scene that i truly think people can take whatever angle they want with her sexuality. im honestly not married to any particular headcanon. i think she tends to have an attitude that she understands romance better than naruto does (who is almost definitely accidentally aroacecoded and im tired of acting like thats just my personal headcanon and not well supported by the actual text), which usually makes me lean towards the idea that she has a better idea of these supposedly intrinsic feelings and therefore is allo. her initial struggle to understand naruto's obsession with sasuke (describing it to sai as brotherly) plays into this but im not sure how. it could potentially be ascribed to the idea that she doesn't think it looks like romance because she has a rigid idea of what romance looks like. this is just weird. i feel like she would've suggested to naruto that she thought he was gay if she thought he was gay, but she doesn't do this (saying this in terms of her as a character separated from the person who wrote her. i know why kishi didn't have her suggest that). but maybe naruto being gay just didn't even cross her mind because homophobia runs so deep. but she's a fujoshi so that doesn't seem right either

ok so i guess my answer is no i dont think she is. but i think its well possible for someone to headcanon her arospec and for it to be awesome

[mahoushojoe]

hiii!!! as the authority on neji, I wanted to ask your thoughts on how you would've written the hyuga clan plot, because you actually have good opinions - where I struggle to reconcile it is how im stunned neji almost sent hinata into cardiac arrest and hiashi didn't like. kill him over it. I'm not displeased but it does surprise me!

HIYA!! first of all thank you for the ask hehe its very flattering when people genuinely ask for my (humble) opinion about neji stuff considering i am Just A Guy That Likes Neji so thank you 💖

hoooo boy how i would have written the hyuga plot. oh well okay. under the cut bc this got AWAY from me.

so first of all before all of that i'll answer your question about how neji got away with almost killing hinata. here's the the doylist interpretation of it: kishimoto just Did Not Care. there's a billion contradictions in just the way he wrote the hyuga plot alone bc he wrote it to serve a certain agenda and that was:

1) establishing neji as a powerful antagonist - an antagonist similar to sasuke in abilities and attitude and, maybe unintentionally, position within the shinobi system. making neji similar to sasuke is important bc in the context of shonen his Biggest rival at the time was sasuke, so setting naruto up against someone similar to him and having him win would be a way to (weakly imo) establish naruto's growth as a ninja and the ways in which he has approached sasuke in terms of skill or ability or power

2) establishing hinata as a....idk ally to naruto. character in a similar position to naruto. maybe even love interest for naruto. in any case, it was an introduction to hinata who would provide an emotional stake for naruto in the plot that leads up to naruto vs neji.

3) write the dogshit "fate vs free will" type themes he was trying to go through with. kishimoto needs naruto to smash the idea of being predestined to fail and what other opponent is better to have than someone whose fate is literally tattooed on his forehead?

4) provide worldbuilding for the hyuga clan, which, by the way, was intended to make us feel sorry for HINATA, chiefly, not neji. sure, we get neji's side of the story later, but that is more of an explanation for his behavior and not given as a reason to root for him. WE root for him bc we have common sense.

moving past all that, the point i'm trying to make is that the reason neji doesnt face consequences for what happened with hinata is that this story and this arc literally ISN'T about neji. it's about naruto, and, very peripherally, hinata. for us to know or witness whatever consequences neji faced for his actions -his cruel but PERFECTLY ALLOWED ACTIONS WITHIN THE RULES- we would actually be provoked into feeling bad for him, and, god forbid, taking his side, which kishimoto doesnt want us to do bc this arc's power entirely derives from hinata being the victim of this narrative and naruto being the one to avenge her. neji is genuinely, and i say this with love, a means to an end here. he is there to serve a specific purpose, and he does a lovely job of being shit at it.

but that's the doylist analysis of it. the watsonian analysis would be that neji DID face consequences, we just don't see them. what happened was a huge rebellion against the head family, i suppose, and assuming that there is any type of consistency in the way kishimoto set up the hyuga, he would have been punished with the curse mark at the very least. we just see the story from naruto's point of view, so we don't see it literally happen. maybe. people like to argue that neji wasn't punished because hiashi doesn't give a shit about hinata, and like, okay, fair, except even in a world where hiashi wouldn't bat an eye at his nephew almost murdering his oldest daughter, hiashi would still care that this prodigy from the branch family is running around seriously injuring head family members with impunity. its not about hinata here, its about neji. like, if this kid can literally attack and almost KILL the heiress of the clan and get away with it, what's to stop the rest of the branch members from doing the same? from the way the hyuga clan is presented, branch members do most of the actual physical labor for the hyuga clan- including protecting it of course- which means they're better fighters, which means there's only one thing holding them back from fighting back, which is the Brain Melting Curse Mark. which is why, in my perspective, neji totally got punished for it, just like his father got punished for just THINKING angrily about hinata all those years ago. it's not about hinata, it's about branch members rebelling and getting away with it. so yeah. i think neji did face consequences, we just didn't see them because kishimoto Literally Did Not Care and because it would have poked holes in naruto's free will spiel and it would have made hinata look like kind of an asshole. neji went on defying the hyuga anyway because he's a bad bitch!

why hiashi didn't KILL neji over it- hm. hm indeed. i think he could have. he'd have grounds for it, in the fucked up system they live in. and its frustrating because the story can't seem to decide on a correct characterization for hiashi. does he care about hinata or not? does he care about hizashi or not? does he care about NEJI or not? is he genuinely emotionally attached to him or is that just guilt bc of hizashi? i don't know. he could have easily gotten away with killing neji outright and it would have been a lot less trouble for him. im just gonna assume he felt like he owed his brother to keep him alive or something, or like, he was astute enough to realize that the whole situation was his fault anyway, although that implies that hiashi has anything resembling a conscience or backbone or common sense or self awareness or- whatever. hiashi didnt kill neji. yay. neji died anyway so its all wins for him in the end

now.... for how i would write the hyuga plot....oh, tumblr user jewchihas, the can of worms you have opened...

well, for the hyuga plot to go the way i want it to, a lot of things about naruto as an entire story would have to structurally change. we have two options to use with hinata here, but im going to go with making her someone sympathetic and not an annoyingly privileged artificial victim.

hinata could have easily been a great character during the fight with neji. and all it would have taken was someone mentioning the curse mark.

it was already established that hinata witnessed the time hiashi tortured hizashi for thinking angrily about her. she was hiding behind hiashi, but she saw it, and thus she knows the position of branch members relative to her and the means with which they are disciplined and prevented from harming her. she herself is a head family member, meaning she would theoretically be taught how to activate the curse mark herself - especially after it's established that neji's father held ill will towards her.

now, that presents us with a situation where, during neji vs hinata, hinata, being beaten to hell and back, could EASILY win the fight - and humiliate neji even worse than he was humiliating her- by just activating the curse mark. and yet, it needed to be shown that she Actively Chose Not To Because It's Wrong, and because she feels empathy for neji that hiashi didn't feel for hizashi. THAT is what would have made her character someone I could genuinely believe had a kind heart and a genuine desire to have a fair fight and improve. in reality, all hinata actually did was taunt neji about their differences in status, which just really makes it even more understandable why neji was so fucking pissed at her.

so, yeah. that would just be for hinata's character. not a lot of time is spent showing what actually happens to hinata hyuga-politics wise but i guess we could say that she learns about her privilege and works to make things equal. maybe even rejecting heirdom if it means being the heir to all this suffering. but whatever what do i know.

neji and hiashi's relationship needs to be more accurately defined. i dont know, like, how exactly does neji feel about hiashi? how does hiashi feel about neji? and if hiashi actually loves neji which is what is implied later in the story, how can hiashi just go on upholding the branch system? once these parameters are defined, we can go about actually having neji using that to poke holes in the hyuga system.

but the actual hyuga system can't fall on its own, because it serves konoha's purposes. the byakugan remaining konoha's exclusive property via the insular ways of the hyuga and the endless supply of cheap soldiers in the form of branch members it provides is too beneficial. konoha's leadership actually doesn't care about the hyuga people's wellbeing similarly to how it doesn't care about the uchiha's wellbeing- to them, they are an endless well of powerful ocular jutsus and nothing else, because that is how the dehumanizing shinobi system treats people's bodies, lives, and ethnic identities. the difference between the hyuga and uchiha's positions re: konoha politics is that the hyuga - at least the head family hyuga - aligned themselves WITH konoha's leadership whereas the uchiha aligned themselves, as whistleblowers (a job they were purposely marginalized and forced into, by the way!) against konoha's leadership. thus, in order to topple the hyuga branch system and keep it toppled, one must topple konoha's shinobi system, and neji and the other branch members (and hinata if she's a good person) must believe in this wholeheartedly.

i dont know how it would go down. it would require a total rewrite of literally all of naruto and i genuinely dont have the facilities for that 😅😅😅 all i can say is that it would be rad if neji and sasuke allied somehow, or if one or both of them led the branch hyuga into total revolt against the head family. the only thing we have to lose is our chains etc etc. naruto needs to grow tf up regarding the hyuga and realize that the stuff he said to neji was a bunch of horseshit. or, funnily, neji takes naruto's words to him in the chunin exams to mean "okay LITERALLY break your fate like literally get rid of those people lol". so yeah. i dont think neji should go full itachi im just saying that the branch family needs to run the show now and the head family wouldnt exactly lie down and let it happen. big mess. so um tldr as most of my naruto opinions go: neji was right, sasuke was right, fuck hiashi, fuck the hyuga, and fuck konoha.

i am so fucking sorry at how long this reply is by the way

[heard-nsfw-is-back]

Im still sick as hell so here's some comfort Ghost x Soap. Some are cute and funny some are horny and gross. Have fun

Johnny was good at being sick. He went to the doctor and made sure to drink water and get plenty of rest. He even changed the bedding after to make sure he didn't sleep in germs. Simon was A BITCH^tm I'm talking full on grabby hands, refuses to go to the doctor, genuinely cries for soup. "I'm dying Johnny, finish me off." "Simon just go back to sleep. You're not dying." Hates when Johnny bring medicine from the pharmacy because he will force the medicine down his throat. "Take the medicine baby boy, you'll feel better I promise." Simon breaks down crying "No it's nasty." "You're a war criminal why is cherry flavored liquid what does you in?"

Simon takes cooking lessons when he can and loves to feed Johnny. Loves to spoil him with a full meal and the best paired drink he can get his hands on.

Being on the run is hard for them both. They fight more often than not these days. Ghost with his tendency to keep going till he drops and ZERO ability to use a word to describe his emotions ever, Johnny with his need to talk it out as it's happening and not letting anything go until it's broken down to Itty bitty pieces. Hours after they fight and walk off, they're already missing each other like air and will make a beeline and collapse in to each other.

They pass a gun shop that also sells sex toys and if that isn't exactly what does it for them, nothing will. Simon finds out he's a size queen and Johnny loves exploring their kinks. It's fantastic. Simon loves being called daddy and Johnny doesn't hate it but Simon loves being called 'baby boy' even more and "fuck me just like that baby. Yes fuck you're so good, so big. My pretty baby boy." Simon has to count by three just to Keep It Together.

They both hate cleaning and will absolutely have professionals come in once a week. They justify it by claiming it's better than leaving the dishes and laundry all over the place. It's absolutely because they have fucked up doing laundry before and Simon will not vacuum. Ever.

Johnny got his period a day early and ruined his 5th favorite pair of underwear. Simon had to rock him back and forth. This man was Inconsolable. Simon offered to buy him a new pair. Johnny was offended. "How actually dare you. They were perfectly worn in. The 7 year old jeans of underwear." "You have jeans that are seven years old?" Johnny just fell back dramatically and sighed.

Simon had a lock box that he tried to keep away from Johnny. Which meant the day after they moved in together he found it. At first he shrugged it off, if anyone understood the need for privacy it was him. But curiosity and insecurities crept up and he asked about it. "Please don't ask about this. It's the one thing I'm actually ashamed of." A few days later Johnny asked about it again. "Fine. You need to know so bad? Open it. If you can open it, you can have it. But you'll see me as a different man." Johnny cupped Simon's cheek. "No I won't." He broke the masterlock and saw magazine cut outs and comic strips and dad joke books. "Don't look at me like that MacTavish." Johnny covered his mouth trying to hold back his laugh but failed and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. Simon looking up to the sky for any god's help.

Getting on T was hard for a military man but joining the 141, he was given the best medical care the government could give. One person from his old station made fun of the stubble that was growing on Johnny's chin. Ghost knocked his jaw clean off.

I have stumbled on trans Johnny MacTavish and I have to say fuck yes dude. I also have no idea how transitioning in the military works. Even less the British military.

[cator99]

The other day I mentioned to my male coworker that I'm planning on moving to Toronto very soon and he just started gawking like why would you do that its sooooo expensive what a huge risk! then he like opened up chat GPT I don't even know what the fuck that is but he was like I guess asking this AI questions about the cost of living in Toronto versus Calgary because he was too lazy to google it or whatever and trying to tell me that it was like unlivably expensive I'm sorry but Alberta is unlivably garbage so I dunno maybe I have my reasons that make this decision worth every penny like it's so fucking condescending, you think I haven't thought of this? You really think I'm just doing this entirely on a whim and I'm too stupid to do my own research and come to my own conclusions about what I want to do with my life and where I want to do these things... it would be one thing if he seemed genuinely concerned and wanting to like help me figure out the logistics but this wasn't that he was just trying to instill me with a sense that it's better here and discourage me from doing something I've been planning for a while now and I made that very clear and in response he made it very clear that not only does he think I'm stupid but that he doesn't perceive me as having any sort of interiority or whatever like I'm just toddling about the world thoughtlessly and if I didn't have Dumfuk Dylan here to guide me back onto the right path staying in yeeyee ass goofsville then I'd end up... what, exactly? Like what's the worst that could happen ? I end up homeless in Toronto? I've been homeless how many times... in a youth shelter and couch surfing regularly and all that shit.... I did my first round of couch surfing at 14 I'm sure for someone like him the idea of risking the comfort of monotony and the ability to do the same boring pointless shit for decades straight with little variation and no actual goals beyond Stay Here And Be Comfortable At All Times Find Wife Have Kids Move Back To Suburbs And Continue The Cycle Save For Retirement And Kids College Fund blah blah blah im sure it seems unfathomable to people like him and my goals incomprehensible but that's the thing asshole I have goals and they do in fact require risk but the truth is that no matter how much it might look like I'm risking anything I'm really not and I will always be in a better place (physically, mentally, all of it) than I started pretty much no matter what and that sense of perspective makes it easier to fuck off and do whatever I want. Also- and I'm being real here, baring my soul type shit- I don't need retirement savings. I'm going to live the way I want to live, and die the way I want to die. More or less.