#i got to talk about FANFICTION and stuff with a PROFESSOR and not be made to feel WEIRD ABOUT IT

[marshymallo]

am i insane? why yes, yes i am.

thank you for noticing ;3

[pinguwrites]

Kinktober 2023 | Day Seventeen — Jonathan Breech + recording

Pairing -> jonathan breech x girlfriend!reader

Warnings -> filming a porn video, exhibitionism kinda even though the video is private, cute, mention of pegging, possessiveness, , sex toys,

KINKTOBER 2023 MLIST

Disclaimer: On The Edge characters, plots, quotes, etc. do not belong to me and belong to the rightful owner(s). This is only fanfiction and this is just for fun.

You and Jonathan giggled as you ran down the hallway, hand in hand like a pair of schoolkids up to no good — which, you supposed you were, up to no good, but not at all the type you usually got into. 

It was your idea, actually. You weren’t really into porn, mostly because it wasn’t very enjoyable for you, with most of the content targeted towards men, but after shuffling through your old items, you came across a tape of a man and a woman together, one your friends had given you back in high school. 

You played it, all hot and bothered, and, with you and Jonathan’s relationship being very open, told him all about it. He thought it was hot, too, and suggested you watch it together, which promptly ended when he got all handsy and you all horny. 

It was then when you whispered in his ear, “Let’s make a video together.”

Jonathan’s blue eyes lit up and a smile spread across his face.

The very next day you bought some supplies. You both received some weird looks from the guy at the counter of the sex shop, but you ignored them, and prompty bought a couple of things you bought thought would be enjoyable.

One, a dildo and harness. It took a bit of coaxing, but you once eased Jonathan into the idea of pegging, he agreed (he was definitely more excited about it than you were, even though he didn’t say so). You also got some vibrators, a couple pecies of lingerie, and, of course, a recorder. Without it, everything was pointless.

“Slow down!” a nearby professor yelled, but you and Jonathan paid him no mind and simply ran past him. You both made it into Jonathan’s dorm room, where he said his roommate was visiting his family for the break. 

“Excited?” he asked, as he set up the recorder by his bed. “You know, I won’t hold it against ya if you back out.”

You snorted. “As if. But the same goes for you, too. Anytime you want to stop, we stop, okay?”

He hummed a ‘yes’.

You had already gone over a couple of ground rules before this, including wanting to stop, but it did no harm to mention it again. Amongst the safewords and no go’s (meaning the things you absolutely didn't want to try), you also talked about exactly what you would do with the video once you were finished.

You weren’t too opposed to publishing it on the internet. You heard recently that the market for this stuff was going up and it was much easier to start creating content now that everything was online, but the idea that someone you knew could stumble upon it was terrifying, especially now that you were still in college. You would rather wait until graduation before doing something so risky. 

Jonathan agreed, but you were almost certain it was for different reasons. He had always been a little possessive over you. If he wanted other people to see you two having sex, it was out of the reasoning that he wanted to show you off, show others what he had and they couldn’t. 

Jonathan hesitated before pressing the start button. “Ready?”

You nodded your head, a grin on your face. “Yeah. I’m ready.”

Taglist:

@rainyforest777

@thatwitchybitch420

@madeinuk

@gentyleman

@henrywintersdearestgirl

@shroombloom-rry

@meetmeatyourworst

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

Will I be projecting this into a South Park fanfiction at some point probably very sorry in advance to either Kyle or maybe Tweek but tbh I gotta rant real quick about my supremely awful day

(Cut for both severe anxiety and possible eating problem triggers)

So like I act and stuff right. Low budget independent shorts, projects for the local film school, things of that nature. And I had a shoot today for a class that’s essentially focused on filming an 8 page script in 12 hours, teaches the students professionalism, all that.

I woke up anxious for reasons I couldn’t pinpoint, wore Kyle socks under my costume for powers, figured I’d be okay once I got into the swing of the shoot. I was not. There was this chunk of very specific scientific dialogue that I just COULD NOT get to come out in the right order, and what did my bitch ass brain do? Fucking spiraled with it. Which made talking harder, which made the “YOURE A FAILURE YOURE A FAILURE” internal dialogue worse, and it continued. And I had a goddamn panic attack on the soundstage.

I wound up shaking in the green room literally crying, someone had to go get my husband from the editing suite because they didn’t know what to do, I could HEAR the professor talking to his class about “when talent has emotional problems during production it’s important not to let them know they’re holding up the shoot”, and the worst part? This was less than an hour before we broke for lunch.

And I’ve vagued about this before, but I’m a recovered anorexic. About five years ago, I did the whole outpatient thing or whatever, was in therapy for a while for it, almost had to drop out of college for it, all that shit, and for the most part I consider myself to be fine now. But that mentality pops up every once in a while, and that shit is AWFUL.

The AD called for lunch, and my first fucking thought was “you don’t fucking deserve to eat you worthless piece of garbage”, and like NO BRUH TF?!? Having a goddamn stroke on set is literally no reason to punish yourself, like if anyone else was having a gnarly anxiety day I would absolutely be encouraging them to take it easy on themselves, hydrate and eat, whatever they need, so how fucked up is it that I couldn’t do that for myself. I did wind up having a slice of the college film student set staple that is little cesars cardboard ass pizza bc Opposite Actions, but it was a huge mental struggle.

It’s definitely worth noting that NO ONE was nasty to me about my breakdown, at least not to my face, even though I was completely fucked in the head afterwards for the remainder of the shoot. I’ve worked with a lot of these people before, they know me and know it was just a bad day, and one of the girls I worked art department with on a previous feature was script supervisor for this one, and she came into the green room and sat with me, stopped me from biting at my fingertips because I hadn’t realized I was making myself bleed, kept me from hyperventilating until my partner got there. The director got with his team to work out what footage they could get until I was more steady. The AD checked in constantly for the rest of the shoot. The other actor was incredibly sweet and shared anecdotes from his stage acting days to cheer me up whenever I’d get anxious over a missed word in a take. No one was a dick to me. At all.

Except myself.

I don’t like to consider myself mentally ill, despite the fact that I know there’s no shame in it; I’m diagnosed with anxiety and depression, plus the whole eating disorder thing, obsessive compulsive disorder, I’ve been told I should get evaluated for autism (tbh yeah probably) like yall I’m a fucking disaster. But no one, NO ONE will ever be as hard on me as I am on myself. Also, it was a student production the Friday before spring break. They cut shots and wrapped early because nobody wanted to be there.

If you can step back and put shit In perspective, it helps. Unfortunately I’m very bad at that.

Very sorry for the rant being a person is fucking stupid but at the end of the day I love helping people tell the stories they want to tell and also wearing south park socks under my 1950s scientist costume.

[thewarshipper]

How I Came to Understand Queer Stuff

When I was two years old, I was homeless. My mother was homeless. We lived in a shelter and often had to go to doctors appointments, because I was born with a severe deformity that required surgical correction, while dealing with those issues. And one day social services came to my mother and told her that if she couldn't find a home, they would take me from her.

So she went to her support group, a little circle of complete strangers, and she told them about this. About how she had nothing and nobody who could help her. And two incredible women helped her.

I will call those two women E and L. They had two sons of their own, who I will call D and J.

I grew up with those two women and their sons. Their sons were better brothers to me than my actual brother. They were incredible people who we lived with, multiple times over the years, when life got hard and we didn't have anywhere else to go. I loved them because they were part of my family, and often times when I looked at them I was envious and felt frustrated and depressed because they seemed so much happier and more stable and more healthy than my "real" family.

And I didn't know they were gay until I was fourteen, and I was going through what could be charitably described as an ecoconservationist phase, and I thought that the world would be better off if humanity was extinct. At that time I was very enamoured with the idea of the "natural" world. The way things "should" be. And in one discussion I had with my mother, I don't know how the topic came up, I said that being gay is unnatural.

And she asked me if I thought E and L were unnatural. Wrong.

They didn't hide their relationship. As I said, they had two sons. I knew that they were together. But it wasn't until that moment that the idea that they were gay entered my mind. That I ever even conceived of the idea that people I knew were gay.

One of my favorite actors as a child was Jim Carrey. He was in a variety of films, but for the purpose of this post we'll focus on one in particular. If anybody here monitors the depiction of transgender people in media, you'll likely already know what I'm about to talk about, but spoiler warning for the 1994 comedy film starring Jim Carrey known as Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.

The plot of the film is that an important dolphin named Snowflake (I'm not sure if that counts as irony or just an interesting coincidence, but there it is) is kidnapped and, in the course of investigating, protagonist Ace Ventura stumbles upon a murder plot conducted by a disgraced football player. At the climax of the film, Ace Ventura reveals that football player is actually... the female police officer in charge of the investigation. Ace reveales this by stripping her clothes and revealing that she... has certain organs. In front of the entire police department. Funny music then plays as dozens of men openly vomit upon seeing the nearly naked transgender woman.

I was too young to watch this movie. It's horrendously sexual and, to be frank, I didn't understand many, if not most, of the jokes. The idea that the villain was a "man who made himself look like a woman" literally did not penetrate my brain. The entire main twist of the movie flew over my head.

But when I was... perhaps ten or twelve, the exact year is difficult to pin down. But slightly older, but still a child. I discovered fanfiction, and among the many articles of fanfiction I found, there was one story in particular that has stuck with me all these years. A single aspect of it, at least. I don't remember the name, or the plot, or when I read it. All I remember is that it was a Harry Potter fanfic where Professor Snape acted as a caring, loving mentor to Harry... and that Hermione was a shy young girl who would much prefer to be a boy called Hermy.

I don't think the word transgender was ever used. I don't think any recognizable queer terminology was used. But nonetheless the concept was explained to Harry, by Professor Snape and by Hermy himself, that some people are simply more comfortable being treated differently to how they normally would be.

It was a very calm and empathetic explanation. Hermy's pain and troubles were described, but did not define his situation. He was simply happy to be accepted as he was by Snape and Harry.

There are other works that have featured "queer" characters I have seen since. Likely better written ones. I'm certain that if I found that fic now, I would hate it to some degree, for lionizing Snape if nothing else. But nonetheless I remember that story, something I read what must be close to two decades ago, for allowing me to conceptualize something I'd never known of before.

Because I'd seen "transvestites" and "Crossdressers" in media before. And every single time it was as a joke. I did not see those characters as something that could legitimately exist. Even in movies that, at least on a surface level, was amenable to their existence, such as 50 First Dates which features an amnesiac character awkwardly correcting her referring to a post-transition character by the correct gender and name, still uses that as an opportunity for comedy.

A year or two ago a coworker of mine was extremely angry that Sesame Street was "teaching kids to be transgender." He argued that the subject was inappropriate. That you shouldn't talk about that kind of stuff with kids. He said that he no longer believed in Sesame Street.

I haven't seen whatever clip he was talking about. To be frank, I don't care. Childrens' entertainment and education is important, but just about anything can be twisted for a purpose. That wasn't what got me thinking. That conversation got me thinking back to my own childhood and how, one day, I said that being gay is unnatural.

And I said that because I didn't realize that two women who I loved like my own mother were gay, despite living with them and eating with them and mourning with them and playing with them and learning with them.

Being gay or straight or transgender or so on isn't important. I don't think kids need specific classes on that kind of thing. But I do think that some effort must be made to ensure they are aware that it happens. That it's a possibility. That it's just another part of a person.

Because I didn't understand who two people I loved were, and I could have very easily hurt them in that ignorance.

[phoenixyfriend]

marriage of convenience and hair brushing/braiding for rexwalker, if you feel up to it?

Fanfiction Trope MASH-UP: Send me two (2) tropes from this list + a ship and I’ll describe how I’d combine them in the same story.

This ask meme is from over a year ago. Please don't send new prompts.

52. Marriage of Convenience 94. Hair Brushing/Braiding 

Is it bad that my first thought is actually inspired by the Ob*kin fic Their fragrance came from you? There's a whole thing about Tatooine marriage braids that my mind immediately jumps to lmao

I think... let's say modern AU. Anakin is a single dad, has been for a few years. Padme died in childbirth, and while her will was made out in favor of Anakin and the kids, the executor of her will was her lawyer-mentor, Palpatine, who couldn't touch the trust funds set up for the twins (which are very large, and will become available when they turn 25, but can only be accessed for education costs before then), but did manage to somehow take almost all the liquid assets left for Anakin in bogus fees.

Anakin's still got the house, but as time passes, he's having more and more trouble with paying the property taxes. He's still managing, but the money Padme left for him is slowly dwindling, and the kids are going to start costing more as they get older, and he's already got Ahsoka living with him (she helps out with the kids so he can work, coding from home, since he's paying for her college tuition; she doesn't have to pay rent since she's a commuter student, and she's got a partial scholarship, but that's still a few thousand a year coming out of Anakin's pocket to put his little sister through underrad). Obi-Wan offered to help, but Obi-Wan lives on the other side of town and even tenured professors don't earn that much, compared to Coruscant's standard cost of living, especially since Obi-Wan adopted recently, a little girl called Reva, and--

Anakin's struggling financially, basically, which isn't a new circumstance, but he really doesn't want to lose Padme's house. Worst comes to worst, he can probably sell it back to Sola so it stays in the Naberrie family, and she'll let him keep living there, but... that's not a sure bet. The Naberries are comfortably wealthy, but it's still an entire house.

Rex, a college friend of Anakin's that went to the same aerospace program, comes back to town. He was on a military tour overseas, but got honorably discharged due to a head injury. Anakin offers to let hm sleep in the guest room, since Padme's house (it's still Padme's, in Anakin's mind), is a lot bigger than Cody's apartment, even if there are toddlers at large. Rex initially promises that he'll only stay long enough to find an apartment of his own, except he overhears Anakin on the phone with Obi-Wan about the finance stuff one day, and reaches out to a few people who have been in town more consistently for a better idea of what's going on without getting too deep into Anakin's business.

Rex manages to get a job locally; there's an airfield for hobbyists a few miles out of town, and the place is looking to hire a new engineer on staff to do repairs and checks on the small planes they keep on site. He starts making noises about moving out, and then, 'subtly,' suggests he just stay at Anakin's place and pay rent.

Anakin does not like the idea of Rex paying rent; friends don't do that! Anakin isn't going to make Rex pay rent in Anakin's home.

They don't talk about it for a few days, and then there's... IDK a night 'off,' where Obi-Wan or Sola or Aayla or Beru takes the twins for an evening, and Ahsoka goes out with friends, so Anakin can take some time off from being a Dad and just Relax.

He and Rex break out the wine, get tipsy not truly drunk, and Rex pokes at the 'just stay here' option again. The house is closer to the airfield than most apartments, and Rex can help take some of the weight off of Anakin and Ahsoka's shoulders with regards to childcare! Even if Anakin won't accept him paying rent!

Anakin argues this. Anakin's kids aren't Rex's responsibility, and Anakin doesn't need his charity (which is, of course, how he views Rex's suggestion). They go back and forth on the topic a few times, and then Rex throws out something about getting married 'for lower taxes' and 'it's not rent if it's my house too, right?' and it's. It's a joke.

Except they're both still thinking about it the next morning, with faint (but not faint enough) memories of a tipsy kiss before bed, and--

Months pass with the two of them circling around each other and Rex never quite moves out, and tax season rolls around, and Anakin is stretched so thin, even with all the cuts for children and covering a dependent's tuition and so on.

Rex quietly floats the idea of a convenience marriage again. It doesn't have to mean anything, if Anakin doesn't want it to. It's not an insult to Padme's memory, just a way of keeping her children in the house she chose for them. And it's not charity, because Rex will get tax cuts too, and better health insurance once Anakin can put him on the family plan he's got. It won't do anything for this year, but by the time the next year rolls around, Anakin will have less of a problem paying those taxes, even if that promotion he's been hoping for doesn't come through.

Anakin, eventually, agrees.

Just four months later, they tie the knot. It's a small ceremony, more than just a courthouse and a paper, just to... well, Anakin wants Rex to have this. Leia and Luke don't entirely understand what's going on, but Ahsoka told them that it means Rex is going to be staying for a lot longer than they originally planned, and they're pretty excited about that part. They're four, and 'Daddy's friend that we like a lot is staying' is pretty clear.

They don't have a 'traditional' wedding night, because they're still both looking at this as a platonic thing (it won't stay that way, but it still is for now). They do share a bed, because someone is sleeping in their guest room (IDK who, maybe a guest was too drunk post-wedding to get home and they just offered the room). Anakin's hair is long enough for an evening of people and, importantly, sticky toddler hands to have tangled it. He washes it out, comes to the bed, and looks so tired--because he had to wash the toddlers first--that Rex offers to brush it for him.

It's intimate. Gentlemanly, but intimate. They go to bed with warm cheeks and pounding hearts, and eventually, one of them rolls onto their side to cuddle.

Neither of them get much sleep that night.

[wisteria-lodge]

Now the last thing I want is to start beef on the internet about Snape, although I suppose that would be very 2005 of me. I like Snape. I like Snape, a lot. I just finished a 160K fanfiction where he's the only viewpoint character, I would hope I'd like him. But I'm kind of interested to see what you'd have to say to my counterpoint to your rebuttal.

You give me a couple examples of funny Snape moments from the first few books. He's absolutely funny the whole way through, I talked about how that was the *fun* of 1-3 Snape. I will say that the later books will have Snape being dry and funny-on-purpose, in a way that 1-3 really don't. Like book 3 will have a moment like:

“Fascinating,” said Snape, without looking at it.

where the humor is in the framing. but later books will constantly have him him make (dry, dark, sarcastic) on-purpose jokes.

"He'd have me!" said Bellatrix passionately. "I, who spent many years in Azkaban for him!" "Yes, indeed, most admirable," said Snape in a bored voice. "Of course, you weren't a lot of use to him in prison, but the gesture was undoubtedly fine —"

“I have already told you,” said Snape smoothly, “that I have no further stocks of Veritaserum. Unless you wish to poison Potter —and I assure you I would have the greatest sympathy with you if you did — I cannot help you.

"Crabbe, loosen your hold a little, if Longbottom suffocates it will mean a lot of tedious paperwork, and I am afraid I shall have to mention it on your reference if ever you apply for a job.”

"Yes, it is easy to see that nearly six years of magical education have not been wasted on you, Potter. Ghosts are transparent."

“You applied first for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, I believe?” Professor Umbridge asked Snape. “Yes,” said Snape quietly. “But you were unsuccessful?” Snape’s lip curled. “Obviously.”

(... and loads more. Actually it would be really fun to do a deep-dive into how Snape uses humor. The "no part of your body is allowed in Hogsmeade" - that is from book 1-3, and I think it is an on-purpose joke. But is it the only one?)

You also bring up that he brews Wolfsbane, and that's fair. "Not very many wizards are up to brewing it." But I'd say there's still a difference between 'potion teacher able to brew a difficult potion' and 'prodigy savant correcting the textbook so much that the margins look black, and inventing his own spells.' You could have set that up if you wanted, probably in the context of Harry thinking it's unfair that in Snape's class there's nothing but miles of note-taking while he's got a textbook in every other class, which would then be a set-up for when *Slughorn* starts using a textbook. I mean Book 6 is *named* after Snape's potion textbook, I don't think some set-up would be out of the question.

(My main analytical angle to approaching the books is always trying to figure out - what do I think JKR intended, vs what made it onto the page, vs what the fan interpretations are, and why they exist.)

The point that he gets Book 3 levels of emotional in Book 6, after the Worst Memory and killing Dumbledore - that is fair. He totally does, positioning Snape as guy who feels very intensely, which is cool. I think you make a very important point that Snape losing control in Book 6 is framed as *scary.* It certainly is. Which make it very different from Book 3, where it is absolutely framed as funny. A threatening character, defanged. Similar behavior, treated differently by the overall text, which is kinda my thesis here.

I do disagree that the later books push silly school stuff to the side. I think there's actually *more,* because the books are longer, and JKR really seems to like writing... quidditch team shenanigans, Hermione's ill-fated house elf-campaign, the Cormac subplot, the Lavender subplot, Harry's terrible date, the kids becoming prefects and reacting in different ways, like that's good stuff. A lot of that stuff even involves Snape, because he is a funny character - like the example I used up top of him finding ways to sabotage the Gryffindor Quidditch team like spam-booking the pitch. We are even still getting on-the-page scenes that take place during his class. It's just the narrative framing that changes, lots of little tweaks to make him less unreasonable, and less of a bully.

And the main difference between a plot twist and a ret-con is that plot twists are set up. I don't have a problem with either, but that's how it is. Like JKR is good at writing mysteries. If she wanted to, she could have dropped in a detail about James Potter early on that in retrospect seems a little iffy, but doesn't bother you at the time. She does that masterfully with Moody/Barty. If she wanted to set up the twist that Snape was actually extremely brilliant, heck I wrote the thing about making him dislike the textbook, that would have worked just fine.

Also the 'Snape stays out of a sense of duty thing' - I said that books 1-3 seem to give him a different motive for staying (wants the DADA job, which wasn't written as cursed at that point) and that motive changes in Book 4. In Book 1, Snape protecting Harry is presented as repaying a debt he feels he owes to James... which is strange in itself, when the later books are taken into context. But that's why my point is that Severus and James were both developed over the course of the books, and that development necessitated some ret-cons and clever re-framing.

And my last thing, about a sad backstory explaining vs excusing bad behavior, and what the difference is there exactly? You might have read that a million times, but I haven't. I read though your backlog of original posts trying to find the one you were referring to, and couldn't. So maybe link it, if it's around?

Since you’ve talked about Molly and Draco, can you talk about Snape as well? When you said that there was a disconnect with Snape’s character I honestly wasn’t sure if you meant the audience was supposed to like him more or less than they actually do.

This is a complicated one, because Book 1-3 Snape and Book 5-7 Snape are written so differently that I actually want to talk about them as two separate characters. 

Book 1-3 Snape… kind of sucks. Maybe he sucks in a way you find funny (which I completely get. A lot of comedy - especially British comedy - revolves around finding the humor in really *mean* people. Snape is *written* to be funny in a dry, acerbic, Roald Dahl kind of way.) But maybe Snape sucks in a way that’s not fun for you, he’s just upsetting and cruel. Either way, he’s petty, unfair, a bully, completely unreasonable, and doesn’t really appear to have any redeeming qualities. Snape protects Harry in Book 1 only because James Potter saved his life and, according to Dumbledore:  

“Professor Snape couldn’t bear being in your father’s debt. . . . I do believe he worked so hard to protect you this year because he felt that would make him and your father even. Then he could go back to hating your father’s memory in peace. . . .” 

Later on, Snape’s motivation will become “Protect Harry because you couldn’t protect Lily.” But there’s no hint of that here.

I actually think it’s very likely that ‘Snape was in love with Lily’ is a plotline added during Book 4, because 1-3 Snape’s motivation is so completely focused on JAMES. He hates Harry because he looks like James, he hates James because (according to Lupin) he’s “jealous, I think, of James’s talent on the Quidditch field.” Within the context of the series it’s easy to say that Lupin is lying, and with good reason… but in the context of the first three books, I think that’s just meant to be true? Snape, as we know, is a stealth quidditch hooligan the way McGonagall is. Also… James’ characterization shifts around. He’s not a bully in the first three books, he’s Head Boy… and that Head Boy thing doesn’t quite gel with what we hear from Sirius later: 

“No one would have made me a prefect, I spent too much time in detention with James. Lupin was the good boy, he got the badge.”

(I know JKR plans things out in advance, but she absolutely does change things on the fly. Arthur Weasley not getting killed by Nagini is an easy example that we definitely know about. And come on - the entire last book is a Deathly Hallows fetch-quest. Was there really no way to slip in a reference to Beedle the Bard - or a super-powerful semi-mythical wand - anywhere in the first six books?) 

So, in books 1-3, there's no hint that Snape is a potion prodigy, particularly powerful, or even particularly clever. He wrote a logic puzzle and “knows an awful lot about the Dark Arts.” But that’s it. “Potion Master” isn’t an advanced rank, it’s just the posh British boarding school way of saying “teacher.” (Like headmaster = head teacher.) Early Snape is also a lot more *emotional* than he is later on, when his ability to “Master yourself!... control your anger, discipline your mind!” becomes extremely plot relevant. Like, can you picture 5-7 Snape (or Alan Rickman, who plays a distinctly later-books Snape) doing any of this? 

Snape was beside himself. “OUT WITH IT, POTTER!” he bellowed. “WHAT DID YOU DO?”  “Professor Snape!” shrieked Madam Pomfrey. “Control yourself!”  “See here, Snape, be reasonable,” said Fudge. “This door’s been locked, we just saw —”  “THEY HELPED HIM ESCAPE, I KNOW IT!” Snape howled, pointing at Harry and Hermione. His face was twisted; spit was flying from his mouth.  “Calm down, man!” Fudge barked. “You’re talking nonsense!”  “YOU DON’T KNOW POTTER!” shrieked Snape. “HE DID IT, I KNOW HE DID IT —”

In Movie 3, Snape gets a cool protective moment where he shoves the kids behind him during the werewolf attack. In Book 3, Snape is unconscious during the entire werewolf attack because Harry, Ron and Hermione simultaneously decide he’s too dangerous, and too much of a liability to keep around. Here are are some bangers from Book 3 Snape: 

- “Don’t ask me to fathom the way a werewolf’s mind works.”   - “KEEP QUIET, YOU STUPID GIRL!” Snape shouted, looking suddenly quite deranged. “DON’T TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!” - “Up to the castle?... I don’t think we need to go that far. All I have to do is call the dementors once we get out of the Willow. They’ll be very pleased to see you, Black . . . pleased enough to give you a little Kiss, I daresay. . . .”  - “I’ll drag the werewolf. Perhaps the dementors will have a Kiss for him too —”

If you sort of squint you can maybe say - okay, maybe this is a PTSD response. Like I’m writing a Snape POV fic right now, you can make it work. But it’s not work the books do for you, and it’s not the characterization choice they make in the films. 

BUT. Snape goes through a little bit of a revamp/retcon in Book 4. It’s totally deliberate - he’s Book 1-3 Snape at the beginning, then he basically vanishes from the narrative… the reader kind of forgets about him…  until it comes up during Karkaroff’s trial that Dumbledore ABSOLUTELY trusts him, even though he was a Death Eater. So now when Snape turns up at the climax - he’s a figure of intrigue, and it makes sense that he’s one of the two people Dumbledore brings with him to deal with Barty. Honestly, it’s a pretty cool magic trick. We buy it when - instead of hissing and spitting and hopping around like he does when he confronts Fudge at the end of Book 3 - Book 4 Snape deals with Fudge like this: 

Snape strode forward… pulling up the left sleeve of his robes as he went. He stuck out his forearm and showed it to Fudge, who recoiled.  “There,” said Snape harshly. “There. The Dark Mark. It is not as clear as it was an hour or so ago, when it burned black, but you can still see it. (...) This Mark has been growing clearer all year. Karkaroff’s too. Why do you think Karkaroff fled tonight? We both felt the Mark burn. We both knew he had returned. Karkaroff fears the Dark Lord’s vengeance.”

Calm, collected, focused. This is a character who you’re supposed to take seriously, a character who you are supposed to respect. 

I think it’s very interesting that after Book 4, we don’t see Snape *bully* the students during class again. He’s strict, and he’s a hard grader, and Harry still thinks he’s unfair, but like… the narrative framing is on his side now. 

“Tell me, Potter,” said Snape softly, “can you read?”  Draco Malfoy laughed.  “Yes, I can,” said Harry, his fingers clenched tightly around his wand.  “Read the third line of the instructions for me, Potter.”  Harry squinted at the blackboard(… ) His heart sank. He had not added syrup of hellebore, but had proceeded straight to the fourth line of the instructions after allowing his potion to simmer for seven minutes.  “Did you do everything on the third line, Potter?” “No,” said Harry very quietly.  “I beg your pardon?” “No,” said Harry, more loudly. “I forgot the hellebore...”  “I know you did, Potter, which means that this mess is utterly worthless. Evanesco.” The contents of Harry’s potion vanished; he was left standing foolishly beside an empty cauldron. “Those of you who have managed to read the instructions, fill one flagon with a sample of your potion, label it clearly with your name, and bring it up to my desk for testing.” (...)  “That was really unfair,” said Hermione consolingly, sitting down next to Harry  (...) “Yeah, well,” said Harry, glowering at his plate, “since when has Snape ever been fair to me?”

Like he isn’t nice, but he also isn’t asking Harry questions he can’t possibly know the answers to, threatening to kill someone’s pet, or calling Hermione ugly. He didn’t even take away house points. And - during the next lesson, we are told that the approach Snape took with Harry actually worked?

Determined not to give Snape an excuse to fail him this lesson, Harry read and reread every line of the instructions on the blackboard at least three times before acting on them. His Strengthening Solution was not precisely the clear turquoise shade of Hermione’s but it was at least blue rather than pink, like Neville’s, and he delivered a flask of it to Snape’s desk at the end of the lesson with a feeling of mingled defiance and relief. 

I want to do one more close read, on a excerpt from Book 5: 

Harry realized how much Professor McGonagall cared about beating Slytherin when she abstained from giving them homework in the week leading up to the match. (...)  Nobody could quite believe their ears until she looked directly at Harry and Ron and said grimly, “I’ve become accustomed to seeing the Quidditch Cup in my study, boys, and I really don’t want to have to hand it over to Professor Snape, so use the extra time to practice, won’t you?” Snape was no less obviously partisan: He had booked the Quidditch pitch for Slytherin practice so often that the Gryffindors had difficulty getting on it to play. He was also turning a deaf ear to the many reports of Slytherin attempts to hex Gryffindor players in the corridors. When Alicia Spinnet turned up in the hospital wing with her eyebrows growing so thick and fast that they obscured her vision and obstructed her mouth, Snape insisted that she must have attempted a Hair-Thickening Charm on herself and refused to listen to the fourteen eyewitnesses who insisted that they had seen the Slytherin Keeper, Miles Bletchley, hit her from behind with a jinx.

This has a very similar structure to the sequence when Snape refuses to punish Draco for enlarging Hermione’s teeth. Slytherins and Gryffindors having an altercation, Gryffindor girl gets caught in the crossfire. BUT a few key things have been changed. One - the section is told in second-hand narration, which makes it less emotional than the teeth-scene. Two - the section begins with comparing Snape to McGonagall: she’s being biased/helping out her students too, so it’s only fair if he does it as well. Three - his insult isn’t “Your face has always looked like that,” it’s “You must have messed up a spell,” which is a lot less personal, and a lot less mean. (If anything, Snape is subtly insulting her for casting a cosmetic charm/being too girly… and being a girly-girl is an inherently suspect characteristic in JKR’s world.) Everything about this passage is set up to create a “Snape the Bully” moment… that kind of excuses Snape. 

So, what do we have? There are the people that think Book 1-3 Snape just went too far, and you can soften the narrative framing around him, and you can add in as many tragic backstories as you want, and it doesn’t really matter. THAT is definitely not what JKR wants you to think. She wants to bring you along for the ride, and (as you can tell from the framing) she's started to like Snape a lot.

HOWEVER. I do not think that the fan who likes 5-7 Alan Rickman Snape is… quite seeing the same thing she is. I get the sense that in the text, Snape’s tragic backstory is not meant to *explain* his bad behavior so much as it is meant to *excuse* it. He stays mean and bad-tempered… but he’s allowed to be, both because he is always acting in service to a Good Cause, and because he was abused at home, bullied at school, etc. A big part of why I think JKR likes writing Snape so much (and why she’s so protective of him) is because she finds something cathartic in letting a character be nasty… but for it to be allowed because they’ve suffered, and also because they're in the right. Sadly I think this describes a lot of her current online interactions. 

JKR also loves the idea of *pining.* (It is crazy how long the main characters’ pining/longing/will-they-won’t-they thing in the Cormoran Strike books has lasted.) It’s a very safe kind of romance, and (again, sadly) you can tell from her writing that romance is not generally something that feels safe to her. Snape is sometimes characterized by those who dislike the character as an incel-type who wants to possess Lily, and I just don’t think that’s in the text. If anything it’s the other way around. Snape has some unconsummated, medieval courtly love thing going on, where he has decided to live his life in Lily’s service. 

I wrote about why I think Draco Malfoy (unintentionally) appeals to fans. With Snape…  I actually think a lot of his current (unintentional) appeal comes from the way a softer Snape reframes the narrative into something more complex, and especially the way it reframes Dumbledore. Manipulative/Morally Grey Dumbledore is a *very* popular fan interpretation, and the way you get that is with a sympathetic Severus Snape. 

“You disgust me,” said Dumbledore, and Harry had never heard so much contempt in his voice. Snape seemed to shrink a little. (...)  “Hide them all, then,” he croaked. “Keep her — them — safe. Please.”  “And what will you give me in return, Severus?”  “In — in return?” Snape gaped at Dumbledore, and Harry expected him to protest, but after a long moment he said, “Anything.”

The implications here are really far reaching. Because to me, the main question when it comes to Snape is - why does he STAY at Hogwarts? He clearly hates it, why doesn’t he just leave? If you’re talking about 1-3 Snape, it's because he’s eternally holding out for the Defense Against the Dark Arts job, and he’s just kind of a twisted miserable guy who would probably be equally miserable everywhere. 

But books 5-7 add the context that he’s brilliant, he’s brave, he’s principled, he’s got a sense of humor. He seems close with the Malfoys. He has *options.* So now the (unintended?) implication is… he doesn’t leave because Dumbledore won’t let him. The fact that he keeps applying for the DADA job becomes dark and borderline suicidal when we learn it’s cursed, and that Snape knows it’s cursed. If he takes it, he’ll leave (or die) at the end of the year. That means, every year, he’s tacitly asking Dumbledore “Can I leave?” And Dumbledore is answering “No.” 

That’s such an interesting, juicy character dynamic. Snape is being kept miserable on purpose because… he’s easier to control that way? And if that’s true… then oh boy is it sinister that Dumbledore left Harry with the Dursleys. He knew he was raising Harry “like a pig for slaughter” (as Snape puts it.) And if Harry doesn’t have a support system, if he’s miserable, if Dumbledore can swoop in as his savior… then doesn’t that make him so much easier to control? 

[rose-likesto-write]

Is it Love?

Pairing: Jun K x fem reader (mention of Taecyeon and other members)

Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst

AU!: University, Werewolf

Word count: 2.4 K

Rating: T

A/N: this fanfiction is not related with the werewolf reaction.... I mean to say the plot shared in the reaction. Second of all, I am sorry for the abruptness in whole fanfic especially in the end. 😭 Please give me your feedback🥺

Tagged: @chicken-fifi

Summary: Neither of you and Jun knew each other. Heck, you weren't aware of each other's existence but what happens when a class project collaboration brings you to together? You liked each other's company and that's it? Nope, you were slowly forming a crush on him but couldn't confess due to a variety of reasons and him as always? Damn his poker face... But, I really mean but what happens when he sees his girl being a crying mess and being so hurt. Will he take a stand ? Most importantly, will he realise his feelings for you or his past won't let him? Will everything come to a standstill or there is a hope?

“The project is due in the next two days!! What are you gonna do now Y/N?” your best friend Mia whispered as the class was still going on. “I really don’t know Mia. I really don’t k-

“What, you don't know Ms Y/N? I was gonna ask this question’s answer from you and I still will.” Your professor turned towards your direction with a glare.

“Sir, I am sorry but the answer is Haemophilia. Haemophilia is a rare condition that affects the blood's ability to clot and is usually inherited.”

The eyes of your professor reflected a proud look before turning the look into a cold glare, “That's great but then why did you scream, ‘I really don’t know’. If it's something else that’s bothering you, you are most welcome to speak to me or any of the professors, okay? It's for you all students. I hope that I am clear and now, the next question is” After the class got over, he called you and Mia in his office.

“Now, tell me what happened. It’s oka-” You shook your head gently before speaking up, “Sir, you know the projects that were to be submitted for the History Fair at the end of this week? Someone has ruined my whole project s-sir. I r-really d-don’t k-kn-know what to do now. Both the model and the report has gone. Had it been only a model, I could have understood especially because there were changes to be made but it’s file too. The model got stolen while the file which was kept in the locker, someone h-has t-torn the pages and spilled paints’ water.”

you fell down on the floor crying and you had every right because you spent freakin 3 months. How the hell were you supposed to complete the whole 90 days stuff in the next barely 2 days even if you miss school, food or sleep. It was a big NO.

Mia picked you up and the professor gently patted your head and made you calm down. “I will see, what can I do, hmm? Try to make the model and submit it while for the file I will speak to the department head of history.” He gave you a small smile before you all left the office.

The rest of the day was going okayish? At least that was better than being all sad and crying but fate didn’t want it at the moment when the school was about to end.

You were going to the cafeteria to eat something but certain whistles, hollering and screams stopped your movement and turned around to see Yuna, Jacob and their whole gang being all happy for some reason.

You were about to turn around until an orangish-yellow bundle sorta of sheets caught you up. Were these my sheets? But they don’t steal stuff like this?’ your mind was clouded with these thoughts.

Though you tried to remove these thoughts but when they took your name, “We are gonna beat all of these people!!! Alice, Jake, Y/N, Jun and all.. We will win!” you knew that you would get emotional so you rushed off towards the ground ignoring a gaze that followed your every movement and felt the push to talk to you.

This said person wasn’t like this ever but after meeting you he did change as much as he doesn’t wanna accept but everyone who knows him saw this change. After all it was a happy and positive change; the question arose is till when will he ignore it?

“Y/N? H-hey? Why are you cr- “J-Jun….” you hugged him tightly taking him off guard but he responded to you with the same warmth. “Hey, it's gonna be okay, hmm? Come here?” He took you to the other side of the ground because he hated the attention he got or you both will get so, using his supernatural powers he changed places especially he has mastered them so finely that at times, it's so silent and calm to realise that the powers were used in the first place?

“Y/N, is it that month o- “No, Jun… It’s not t- “Then what happened love? Why are you crying?” did he really call you ‘love’ but this is not the correct time. “Its stupid though. The reason is really st-stupid but someone st-stole my p-project for the h-history f-fair a-and w-we don’t have much time. My hard work has gone t-

“Y/N, love! listen to me. Look in my eyes. Yes, that's good. Now listen, love you can’t cry like this, okay? I know how important this project is for you but it's not more important than your health. Look at you, what did you do to yourself uh?” before he could further continue you stopped him in the middle, “You aren’t understanding Jun. This History project is important as it is part of my this year’s dissertation which is also a third of my grade and if the examiner and dept heads of history and psychology will like and approve of it, I can get a scholarship b-but n-now i…”

“Shush love. I am so sorry that you have to go through this but you can find a way. We will find a way babe.We will do it. Do you wanna have something? ” You just nodded your head as there was no energy left and he scooped you up in his arms before you could even protest placing his finger over your lips, walking towards his car.

What just happened today? First the whole day got ruined because of the project, then you got noticed by your crush who called you love and babe. He even hugged you, gave reassurance and also carried you in his arms and spent the rest of his time with you.

What did the Gods and fate had planned for you? It's kinda sweet but overwhelming and confusing as well, especially your feelings for him which you thought had side tracked are back on the mainstream again.

The next morning you woke up with a slight headache because of the mental exhaustion you had and as you were about to use the bathroom, a notification on your phone made you curious considering it was a saturday practically a day off. Upon swiping right, opening the screen the notification from Jun ♡ made your heart flutter.

Jun♡: Hey, Y/N.. I know that we don’t have any time left but I did some research and found a project that you can do at least the model would take a day’s time but its size would be small but i am sure its worth your grade. If you are interested , just text me back and I will come to pick up at 10 am.

Y/N: Sure!!! Thank you so much Jun.. You are the best!

As soon as you closed the message app, your eyes widened at the time. It's already 9:40 am, which means you have 15 mins left and the rest 5 mins you ask? 3 mins of discussion on clothes and 2 mins to eat a biscuit and some juice. Therefore, you rushed inside the bathroom.

Monday was way too early than it should be maybe because you were lost in thoughts of Jun, of course the project. Mia was absent today which made you sad but out of nowhere Jun came in to support you and your professor told you that the file for the project isn’t due the first week of next month which made you breathe an air of relief. The fair had begun and in general the response was also good but the result of the project wasn’t disclosed.

“Thank you so much Jun for everything. I really don’t know how to thank you for the research papers, the project. Thank you so much.” You tip-toed to give him a tight hug, making him reciprocate it and ruffling your hair. “Well you can thank me, by letting me be the part of the file you are writing because even if you have the psychology part as a major thing but the history and its military warfare is something which I can help you with.”

The next couple of weeks were spent either at the library or at Jun’s place. It was all papers, scissors, glitters, pens, fevicol, pictures and undecided discussions on the arrangement and presentation of sheets but at the same time some intimate moments between the two of you. I know intimate is a small word with big meaning but the moments were too intimate and sweet for you both, at least for you, like the way he held your hand or slid his arm on your waist, pulled you closer to him whenever he felt some unnecessary gaze towards you, he would glare, or the time he would gently feed you, listening to your stupid talk and rant with a small smile.

You had gone crazy for him but only if he felt that way. Sometimes, he might like you but at other times, let's not talk about it after Lia came into the picture.

The only thing you know is that Lia is a distant cousin of Yuna. They are bipolar opposites and that not only is Lia mysterious and cold but she is kinda fierce from what others have said but something is off about her.

The last few days, you spent your time alone or Mia helping you here and there. Jun hasn’t contacted you, not that you minded but still having someone speak to you like you mean something and then suddenly not, hurts badly. “So, Y/N we are done!! All the best for your submission.” Mia said excitedly, making you smile, “No, thank you for being there with me helping me along with Ju- “Your boyfriend? Nah, I should thank you for not making me feel the third wheel. Anyways, let me get going now.” After bidding her goodbye, you prepared for the next day and when you were about to sleep you received a text.

Jun♡: Good Night Love. You did well and all the best!!!! Sorry, couldn’t be there for you these days as I had some work and no, don’t reply to me. It's late and you should go to sleep.

A stupid smile graced your face before you kicked your legs in the air. The next morning you met Mia standing at the gate of school and along with her were Jun’s bestfriends except for him. “Good Morning guys!” a series of good mornings was heard.

“Ready?” Taecyeon asked. “Can we see your file? Of course it's your choice” Wooyoung added to which you nodded. You opened your file and showed them and briefly explained it. “So, how is it? Do you think they would like it?”

“They would love it!!!” they said, making you all laugh but your eyes were finding him. “Umm, where is J-

“He is with Lia.” Taecyeon said rather with a cold tone. “Hey everyone.” a feminine voice said, making you all turn to its source, Lia was standing with Jun who had an unreadable expression. She was all smiles till she saw you, she cleared her throat and forced a smile when she shook hands with you before speaking, “So, are Y/N? You are really pretty. That's why Jun was so whi- “Lia, it's more than enough” Jun said while glaring at her. “Anyways, Y-

“All the best Y/N! Anyways, I have to leave with my fiance Jun” She said with a sarcastic smile, making all eyes turn into glare except for your eyes which expressed disappointment and sadness. You bid them farewell and went away.

Again Jun’s eyes followed your movement but he can’t stop you, does he even have the right to do so?

Later in the evening, you sat down with your thoughts and situations reflecting upon them but the train of thoughts came to a halt when you got a call from the person whose call you least expected.

Y/N: H-Hello?

Jun: Y-Y/N, come down right now.

Y/N:W-what ?

Jun: There is something you must know. Please, come down!

Hearing his pleading, you ran down in the way you were dressed up in a camisole with a shrug and shorts to him. “Wow!” Jun exclaimed when he saw you but he got a punch on his chest. “What do you mean by wow? I ran down without any proper clothes a-

“I am sorry and take this. Come, we have to be somewhere” He placed his jacket over your body and took you towards the destination. “Where are we going?” you asked as you sat in the passenger seat. “My home love. There is something you must know.”

The car stopped at his gate, he then opened your side’s door but when you started walking towards his house, he stopped you. “Not here Y/N, we will go to my garden.” Once you reached there, the whole area was decorated with fairy and golden lights and a table for two was set. “Y/N, before we go and sit there. I finally mustered up the courage to tell you something. You see Lia, what she said in the morning was completely wrong. She did it out of spite”, you looked into his eyes which were full of various emotions “uh? What do you mean?”

“Lia was the one who was made to be my future partner or something because of our family interests and the certain customs and practices we follow but in the past something had happened, because of which I couldn’t forgive myself but after I spoke to Taecyeon, I came to know that it wasn’t my fault and it was L-Lia and h-her family. I am sorry, if my actions and behaviour these past days hurted you. I was scared that if Lia had seen you with me, she would have hurted you. I am sorry Y/N and also that I like you alot. I really do but if y-

You tiptoed and kissed his cheek, “Its okay Jun and I really like you as well. I am happy that this came in before things further could have been hampered and damaged.”

“So, are we good to go?” he asked with a cheeky smile. “Of course my wolf” you winked at him before going to sit. “W-what?’' “I know bub.. You are my werewolf.”

[rhymingtree]

Y'know I really don't wanna make myself sad today but... 🤷‍♀️ I'm still here though. I've signed my own death certificate and dug my own grave and I do it gladly.

Oh fuck straight into the torture huh... like we got a nice lil preamble and then WHOOSH drowning time babyyyy

Your heart hammered in your chest, freezing droplets of water beaded down your hair before splashing to the ground like pearls tinted pink. They mixed with the blood there, painting abstract crimson against gritty concrete.

Again, very pretty descriptions for really dark stuff.

a date with the electric shock machine. How very romantic.

I could write a whole thesis on Novak and how fucking scary he is but how exactly would a panel of professors react if I told them he was a made up character from a very long fanfiction that I like to read at 3 in the morning?

He was so close, he was just right there. He could get you out if he really wanted to. He could save you.

If he wanted to. If he wanted to. WANTED.

He’d send you to death’s door—nearly shoving you into Danny’s arms—before injecting you with experimental chemicals and forcing you back to life kicking and screaming.

So he's like the opposite of the grim reaper?

“Brain function?” “That shit’s optimized,” you mumbled incoherently, “Fuckin’ perfection, motherfucker.” Novak’s assistant raised a brow, “Needs work.” “Douchebag.”

Even at death's door she's a sassy pain in the ass. I love her.

They're already planning on putting her in the chair??

I mean she's been there a year so... but...

Oh the days when Bucky was still Metal Arm Dude... not good days, but... it's kinda weird to see all of it develop.

This would be such a wild ride to read in chronological order. Metal Arm Dude becomes your fuckin' boyfriend.

Oh no...

Where are they taking Ghostie...

BRO WHERE ARE THEY TAKING HER

“No…” You shook your head, limply fighting against the men as Metal Arm Dude stared after you, “You promised! You promised you wouldn’t leave me!”

Too early to cry, darke.

They put her in a freezer?

Oh, wait... oh.

from day 332 to day 393!????!?

THEY PUT HER IN THERE FOR TWO FUCKING MONTHS?

A killer. A lover. A someone. Putanginaaaaaa

Dannyyyy 😭😭

DANNNNYYY

You’d be back in Danny’s arms soon.

Don't fuckin talk to me ever again this is unforgiveable.

I am entitled to emotional compensation.

“And, sir, it's the opinion of the team that they're separated. The Asset is being reported as unstable, even after recalibration. I recommend that—”

Does that have anything to fo with Ghost literally being frozen for two months... was Bucky subconsiously aware of her absence even when the Soldier was on the surface?

At what point did hope become so corrosive to the soul that it flickered like a smothered flame before going out completely.

Darke are you sure Juno hasn't summoned the ghost of Charlotte Bronte and had her possess you while you were writing because this is some Jane Eyre classical romantic gothic type writing

Hell wasn’t fire and brimstone. It wasn’t water that seeped into your body. It wasn’t darkness and silence and ice crystals that held your body hostage. It was hope.

Like goddamn. This is World Literature class type of shit I fuckin love it.

Doesn't make me want to forgive you though.

From there you’d be reborn in fire and ice.

STOP. WRITING. WELL. DAMN IT.

JK keep going I'm loving it.

Your heart nearly froze in your chest as your eyes met his. Somehow, his eyes were darker than you thought they were. Darker than charcoal, darker than pitch. There was no life behind them.

I have goosebumps now thanks

I just know Christoph Walsh would eat this role up so fucking much he'd bag an Academy nomination for a superhero movie role.

And they'd probably let him have it. Even though they shoulda done that with Angela Bassett but this isn't the time nor the place to shit talk the Oscars.

NO NO NO NOT BOONE

DON'T FUCKIN BRING MY BOONIE INTO THIS MEREK.

What's wose is that she's still thinking about Oliver through all of this, worried and unwilling to consider leaving him behin when he knows all this is happening and is more than okay with it. He brought her here. He plunged her into hell but she'd go into its depths to make sure he's with her when she leaves it.

Everything hurts.

The rest of that part left me speechless and frozen and numb

ANd now I'm about to feel worse because I know what's coming

 “You are not allowed to mar what belongs to me.”

he scares me so much

“Promise you’ll stay,” you said, wrapping your arms around him as he lifted you to your feet, “Promise you won’t go.” “You know I can’t do that.” “Yes, you can.” You nodded against his neck, “You have to.” “I can’t.” You sniffled, wincing as he let go of your legs to let you stand on your own. You were shaky, your legs felt as though they were made of jelly and you were lightheaded, but the soldier held you steady and let you lean against him with a shaky sigh. “Promise me, Soldier Boy,” you whispered, letting your eyes flutter shut as you relaxed against him, “Please.” He said nothing but a sigh huffed through his nose and he held you a bit closer. That was a yes. That was his promise. You were sure of it. You were—

Fuck.

Fuck....

Hell was hope.

I'm just... not gonna talk. I'll yell at you when I've gathered my bearings.

CHAPTER 95: FLASHBACK — WRITING ON THE WALL

***This chapter is a lil darker than normal, read at your own risk

To all my live reactors,

Please, please, please, hide your reactions under a Read More cut. I don’t want any spoilers floating around. 

&

To all my Anonymous Avengers, 

If you want to react in my asks, feel free. However, I won’t be answering any of them until at least Wednesday if they contain spoilers. 

Thank you,

Darke

┍━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━┑

“Are you ready to cooperate, my dear?” Novak’s voice was soft, nearly sounding kind and warm.

You didn’t answer, barely able to form thought as your world came back into view let alone words as you stared blankly into the ceiling.

Still, Novak’s disappointed hum filled the room and, in an instant, you were lugged off the table and back toward the center of the room. An IV tower was wheeled behind you, connected by a single needle in your arm that threatened to come loose as you were tossed up onto the hook.

You yelped, awakened by the ache in your ribs and the stretching of sores on your wrists.

Your eyes widened as you took your first deep breath in what felt like ages.

For a moment you felt reborn, like a phoenix bursting through ice shards and flames.

Almost like you had been remade.

┕━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━┙

» CHAPTER 95: FLASHBACK — WRITING ON THE WALL

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***if you have a strike through your handle, it wouldn’t let me tag you 😞

[botwstoriesandsuch]

hey Kip! I’m sending asks into different writer’s askboxes, inquiring about cool themes/development facts/stuff the author wants to share about their personal favorite work of their own. What’s yours? :)

Ok so this ask is old and when I first got it I was like “dang I don’t really have a lot to talk about, what should I talk about I could those revalink headcanons the Kip Cut that turned into a working fic uhh hmm maybe I’ll just make something new to talk about real quick” and then I did and now there is a 12+ chapter Revalink fic in my drafts and I’m gonna talk about that now, whoopsie doopsie [click "j" to skip]

aHEM, OK so allow me to break out the primary school white board because yeah, I have a lot of thoughts and the oxford comma has not yet made it’s home into my brain. oh and spoilers for paraphrase. for both all of Chapter one and future events in later chapters, but it’s really nothing you couldn’t surmise from the AO3 tags

so I really wanted to tell the story of Revali and Link learning and struggling to love again after the less-than-fortunate events of Botw, but I wanted a...how you say...fresher, approach on the subject? Like I know we always say that fanfic writers writing the same tropes and stories time and time again is good because we eat that shit up--but at the same time I had asian parenting as was told never to half ass anything ever, no matter what. So now I'm gay and extra and have depression maybe and oh would you look at that @motherhyrule has dropped a beautiful revalink prompt right into my lap

Great so now that we have, that, I shall take you on the step by step process on how to make a :sparkles: story. So step one is to spend at least five to eleven business days for your white board to dismantle your genre and themes and work them around your character arcs. Luckily I have prepared one ahead of time

s*breaks out those laser pointers that uni professors use* So let's start with defining genre. As define because I HATE you, fuck you. I want you to suffer and writhe on the ground, motherfucker. How dare you think that I would give you nothing but pure predictable fluff, fuck you and yours

is the set of expectations that your audience has when consuming a piece of media

And the great thing about fanfiction is that unlike movies or book where the genres are more vague like, "oh it's a noir mystery genre. so there's a crime, maybe a murder, and a detective and a criminal." or "oh it's a teen romance. so there's some white people and a morally questionable six-pack 18 year old love interest that will be painted as desirable for some reason" BUT with fanfiction HALF of the work out the window, because as soon as you see those #revalink #aro sidon #zelpha #revali is an idiot and #found family tags you already know what's up.

Now what's so great about genre and expectation? Well the fun thing about it is that

I will use it to fucking break you.

... ... ...

<3 For example! <3

In Chapter 1: Holes, you already expect there to be revalink, you already expect them to be soulmates with the soulmarks and there's angst and yadayada ya. Revali and Link have to match because thatttss what this is all about, this is about them! This is about cute, little soulmarks and romantic words!

But whoooopsie doopsie [disney channel laugh track plays] they DON'T match anymore! Link's got a different mark! The number one rule of this entire genre has been broken whoooooooooooooooops. *ba dum tiss*

You might notice with a lot of my writing that I do this a lot, this whole..."oop but there's one little thing that's different." TebaSaki sick fic? Ok cool, but what if Teba burns an irreplaceable relic of the Rito champion to fight a wizzrobe first to characterize why his dumbass clicks with Saki. Mipha deciding to persue Link? Ok what if she chases after a dragon to externalize this conflict as she pierces it's flesh for a scale. Link fighting a Lynel? Ok but what if it's actually a sidlink angst fic in disguise and it's also world building on how Link deals with the bloodmoon that erases all of his efforts which is sort of similar to how his existence was erased from Hyrule 100 years ago mwaahahaha! Ok now that I say this outloud I think I just have a pattern of using fight scenes to externalize character growth. I like fight scenes...anyways.

I think another great thing about the realm of fanfiction is that with the tagging system, I can basically use a chekhov's gun sort of deal, without doing any writing. You know I'm gonna use that gun marked "soulmates" but you don't know when I'm gonna shoot it, and you SURE as hell don't know how.

And huzzah! One of the main points of conflict both drives the tension between Revali and Link, solidifies the unique genre and setting of this world, while also creating a new mystery that will carry over for the next few chapters.

Is Revali right in that Link's rebirth makes him destined for someone new now? What will Link do with the information that his soulmark has changed? Why did it change? Did Revali's change as well? How does anything fucking work right now?

And sure, you might be able to tell where things will end with them, but you sure as fuck will not know how because I HATE you. Fuck you. I want you to suffer and writhe on the ground, motherfucker. How dare you think that I would give you nothing but pure predictable fluff. I am not your goddamn fairy godmother, I will do as I fucking please. You will suffer as you fucking deserve, fuck you and your little tiny--

/j

Oh! But you might have noticed on my little planning whiteboard thing that there was a little T-Chart! For Revali and Link! That's because the next important thing besides plot (and in a lot of cases, including this one, it's argued to be even MORE important than plot) is

~CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT~

[to the tune of that history of the world video on youtube]

So yes, it's a little T-Chart outlining their character views in relation to the themes. And the great thing about themes is that they're not something you can necessarily predict in the same way you can with the genre and plot.

But now see, I'm very lazy so I'm just gonna plagiarize @hyrule-kingdom-updates thingy [that you should read btw] because they said my point quite clear enough

Now I don't really need to care about those points about bond and relationships and being understood, because I'm dealing with already established canon characters. I'm not some NERD who dabbles with entire casts of ocs who even cares about ocs not me that's for sure ahaahahaahahahahahaahahahahahAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *cries in my orphaned WTTU fic* AHAHAHA*sobs*DONT FUCKING LOOK AT ME THAT WAY I SWEAR--

/j I love ocs

But the points I do wanna focus on is the idea that characters provide new perspectives on the theme, and that characters growth can be tracked based on their wants, lies, and needs.

So see, themes can be predicted the same as genre/plot because while you can have the same fanfic plots and tropes, theme will always vary!

Sometimes it's a journey of selfworth with Revali! Sometimes it's an exploration of trauma with Link. Sometimes it's about how you deal with the vulnerabilities of love with Mipha. Sometimes there's straight up NOOOO theme, and people just be fucking, and kissing, and baking, and having a good time. And that is totally fine too!

But I'm not a fucking coward.

I'm gonna weave in themes with my plot, because I fucking can.

I'm not a weakling like you.

Do you hear me, 2019 Kip? Do you hear me Demmers? Do you hear me Quill? I'm coming for your ass. You think you're so great, but I'm coming for you. Rest assured that your graves will be as deep as your sculptured pride--

Heeeere is that T-Chart again, plus more!

yyyyyYou might notice that Revali and Link are quite parallel, to paraphrase. Ayoooo, see what I did there? *dabs* I'm a genius. Anywho

They both start off the same way: 100 years ago they were in love and happy. Basically the equivalent of childish naivety. For the first time in their lives, life is whimsical and charming, and they make each other happy. In fact, it's almost a flaw with how they perceive this happiness. But don't worry! It doesn't last long!

You know what happens.

I think the chart is pretty self explanatory. Revali builds walls fast enough to give a republican a wet dream. Meanwhile Link makes every aromantic in the chat groan with his doubled down sentiments in the idea that his chances of being truly happy again are gone.

Now, I can't exactly describe the full on process of the inbetweens, and where Revali and Link are gonna go from here, because...you have to read it for yourself! Heehee...but something I did think was fun was how these character views on the themes are revealed. Because you'll notice that, I never give exposition. Ever.

Ok well, let me rephrase that. I never give exposition scenes. I will never give you a big LOTR fancy wizard scene explaining the ins and outs of a character's question or the world's magic or whatever. I'm a very impatient Kip, and I value efficiency. Nonono, it's all about multi tasking, baby!

Chapter 1: Holes is divided into three parts.

Post 100 Years - Medoh (Establishes Ghost Rev/Bonk Head Link's view)

100 Years Ago - Flight Range (Establishes old Revalink views)

Post 100 years - Mark (Develops Ghost Rev/Bonk Head Link's view in contrast to who they once were)

I think the way that you structure flashbacks is incredible vital, as it's a very quick way to characterize people without having them say stuff like "I used to be like you, until I took an arrow to the knee" or whatever.

And with the main structure of the chapters and the fic as a whole is focus on their characters, that means I can hide whatever other stuff I want in those scenes, becuase you're too busy absorbing the fun character stuff to realizing I'm giving you boring exposition. Like for example:

Post 100 Years - Medoh and Mark

Foreshadowing for the end of the fic

Set up connection to Medoh with Revali

Link has defeated Windblight

Link has been visiting Revali every night for the past few days

Link has already met Kass and presumably Teba

Link doesn't have the Mastersword

Revali's Gale is still an ability that needs master and practice on Link's end

And that's just some of the stuff.

And see, the only reason I can efficiently give all of this information regarding character, and even exposition, is because of the theme. The themes make everything relevant, and everything circles and encompasses one another, so there's absolutely no wasted space. I mean don't even get me started on how it's gonna be to characterize the other characters around this

I don't wanna talk about the other characters too much either because that's spoilers, but you can probably take a gandar based on my notes.

And oh my god this is just on the theme of the faults that come with "soulmates" and "true love" and all that, and how even magical destined relationships still require work and effort, and that no one thing or person solves all your problems. And that's not even TOUCHING the shit on trauma and scars. I didn't think it was even possible for me to talk about botw without touching on that, ha. Ah well, I've been talking for too long.

Revalink has a lot o' writing potential so das pretty cool yeah, I am excite

[whitecatindisguise]

Taking It Too Far

So I've watched Fan Friction episode and immediately I was struck by how wrong they approached the subject. Hiro was right to be upset, but the producers didn't give him the right reason. This story is an attempt to right the wrongs. That, and there are also other changes to the basic episode plot because 1) I didn't remember everything and didn't really have time nor mood to rewatch it, 2) I thought some things would be better if changed a bit.

Anyway, I hope you like it and enjoy yourselves.

AO3 link here

... and there, inside the lab, was Captain Cutie’s beautiful girlfriend, Karmi. The two locked eyes and-

“Hey, Fred. What are you doing?” Hiro popped out from behind the man and looked at the other’s screen. He squinted his eyes, skimming through the words. “Is that-?”

“A fanfiction about us? Sure is!” Fred cut in enthusiastically, grinning wildly. “And I gotta tell you, man, it’s amazing! The plot, the characters, the action, the characters!”

Hiro rose one eyebrow, clearly not siding with the other’s enthusiasm. His gaze wandered back to the screen and he stopped dead.

“Why am I called Captain Cutie? And why Karmi is my girlfriend? Who wrote this?!” He asked angrily. Him and Karmi? Never in a lifetime!

“I don’t know, but they post as KHeartsQT.” Fred waved his hand dismissively, his focus solely on the story.

Hiro hummed and moved the cursor to the author’s name and clicked on it, recoiling the moment a pop-up window showed a profile picture.

There, on Fred’s computer screen, his greatest nemesis was staring back at him.

***

“I can’t believe it!” Hiro burst into the main lab, stomping past Honey Lemon and almost bumping into confused Wasabi, who barely managed to jump away. Without a word of apologise, the young teen approached his working space and shoved his backpack onto the desk, sitting down heavily on the chair.

“What’s up with him?” Go Go popped a balloon as she stated at the clearly upset boy.

“Nothing. He just doesn’t like Karmi’s fan fiction.” Fred shrugged as he strolled inside and flopped onto his armchair. “Can’t really relate. It’s amazing! And did you see how she named me? Flame Jumper! Not as cool as Fredzilla, obviously, but points for awesomeness.”

“Oh, I read it.” Honey Lemon chimmed in. “It’s really well-written. Although, I don’t know why my name is Tall Girl. I’m not that tall, aren’t I?”

A series of weeeeell’s and ummmm’s echoed in the lab and the ginger-haired woman dropped her head down in response.

“She called me Chop Chop.” Wasabi added. “I can see where it’s coming from, but it makes me sound like some character from the kid’s show, and not a proper superhero.”

“Speed Queen.” Go Go spoke from her side of the lab, tinkering with some kind of miniature scooter. “Sounds cool.”

“All of you have normal nicknames. But she called me Captain Cutie. And made herself my- ugh- girlfriend.” Hiro cringed as he spoke. “Who even gave her a right to write about us? I don’t remember giving my permission, do you?”

“Calm down, Hiro. It’s just a story.”  Honey Lemon put a hand on his shoulder but he shook it off.

“Well, maybe I don’t appreciate being put in a story that’s clearly fake and totally unrealistic?!” He snatched his backpack and stomped towards the door. “I’m going to work in my lab. Away from that nonsense.”

With these words, he stormed out, his angry footsteps and muttering audible until he turned the corridor.

“Wow. Talk about negative energy.” Wasabi commented, as they stared at the door.

***

In the coming days, Hiro’s mood only got worse. Everyone on the campus seemed to enjoy Karmi’s story, some even starting to ship Karmiutie, as they began to call the imagined pairing between Karmi and Captain Cutie. Hiro couldn’t even take a step without someone saying something about the story or the ship, or, which happened more often than he would like it, mentioning both.

Karmi seemed to love the attention. Other students called to her on the corridor, expressing their enjoyment of her story and some even daring to ask whether she and Captain Cutie really were a couple. Hiro didn’t stay to hear the girl’s response, stomping away angrily, to the confusion of the students.

With everything going on, he was unfocused and started failing classes he usually had no trouble with. Professor Granville seemed to be both upset and concerned about this change. He couldn’t tell her what bothered him, however, so he made an excuse about not feeling well lately. He wasn’t sure she believed him.

To make things worse, his upset state started to affect his superhero work as well. He kept making mistakes leading to the whole team getting into trouble and only barely managing to catch criminals they encountered. This only led to his mood worsening.

The young teen was walking down the hallway, trying to tune out the conversations revolving around the newest chapter of the fan fiction, when he suddenly collided with someone and they both landed in the floor, stunned by the hit.

“Hey, watch where you’re going!” He heard an annoyingly familiar voice and he looked up to see Karmi picking herself up from the floor, snatching her phone from where it slid off during the crash.

“I was. Which you would notice if you wasn’t gaping at your phone, producing those abominations of yours all the time.” Hiro seethed, picking himself up from the floor.

“Excuse you!” Karmi huffed in response. “What’s your problem?!”

“Oh, I don’t know?” Hiro replied, anger seeping into his voice. “Maybe that you write about real people and forcing them into fake relationships to release your crazy fantasies? Or maybe that you give stupid names which don’t fit the characters at all?”

“For your information, everybody loves my story. I even have some faithful fans that comment on every chapter, like Fredelicious24.” Karmi replied defensively. “And since nobody knows what their real names are, I’m allowed to use whatever I want.”

“I’m sure Captain Cutie is thrilled to be called that.” Hiro rebounded, rolling his eyes at the nickname.

“Maybe he is!” the girl shouted back. “What do you know, anyway?”

“Ugh, forget it!” The dark-haired teen shoved his arms apart and stomped away, trying to ignore the whispering from the students who watched the encounter.

It was around lunch time, when his friends found him, sitting alone in the cafeteria, poking his food with an upset expression.

“Hiro, what’s wrong? We heard about your argument with Karmi.” Honey Lemon started, as they all took their seats.

“Yeah, so? Are you also going to tell me what a jerk I am? I heard it at least twenty times by now.” He huffed, impaling one of the fries onto the fork and biting on it angrily.

“We just want to help.” Wasabi replied, eyeing as the teen gathered several more fries and stuffed them all into his mouth, munching aggressively.

“But we can’t, until you tell us what’s going on.” Go Go added.

Just then, several students passed by, the pieces of their conversation about Karmi’s story and the Karmiutie ship reaching their eyes. Hiro grunted and picked up his tray, pushing the chair away.

“I’m going to eat in my lab.” He said and walked away.

“That is highly insanitary!” Wasabi called after him.

Honey Lemon looked thoughtful, as she stared at the retreating back of the young teen, and gazed at the group of students, who had now taken over one of the tables nearby.

“Of course! Why didn’t I notice that before?” He exclaimed triumphantly. The others looked at her questioningly. “Come on, we have to talk to him!” she gathered her stuff and rushed off, others staring in the direction she went.

“So... Do we follow or...?” Wasabi asked. Right then, Fred’s phone buzzed and he gasped.

“The creepy knife-lady escaped from prison!” He exclaimed. They shared a look.

“Guess we’ll talk to Hiro after that.” Go Go commented, as they left the cafeteria.

***

To say the action went well would be a major understatement. Not only did Momakase escape, but she also cut through Go Go’s disks, left Honey Lemon and Fred stuck in the goo, Baymax lost one of his leg thrusters and rocket fist, and Wasabi’s blades needed a serious repair.

Hiro was trying to help, but the conversation with Karmi was still fresh in his mind and he couldn’t properly focus on the fight. It was pathetic, even he had to agree.

He angrily took of his helmet and shoved it towards the wall. It hit the divider with a metallic clang and fell to the floor, leaving a small dent in where it met with the structure.

“Your body language indicated extreme anger.” Baymax spoke from behind. Hiro huffed.

“Oh yeah? How did you figure that one out?” He asked, sitting on his chair with arms crossed.

“You are making a face expression known as frown.” Baymax said. “Your body is tense and you are-“

“I was being sarcastic, Baymax.” Hiro interrupted. Baymax blinked.

“I am not programmed to recognise sarcasm.” The robot replied and Hiro groaned.

“Hiro? You there?” Honey Lemon called out and the whole gang entered his garage, suits off.

“Just peachy.” The young teen answered, starting to take off Baymax’s armour.

“Don’t worry, dude. We’ll get the crazy knife-lady next time.” Fred patted his friend’s shoulder comfortingly. Hiro glared at him and the man slowly backed away.

“We’re worried about you, Hiro.” Honey Lemon spoke again, her eyes matching her words. “Is it about Karmi’s story?”

“What? Noooo.” Hiro waved his hand nonchalantly. Everyone stared at him, unimpressed.

“It’s totally about the story.” Go Go said.

“Definitely.” Wasabi agreed.

Hiro sighed and turned away, hugging his arm.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He mumbled.

“Your body language indicates discomfort.” Baymax spoke.

“Hiro... You are clearly upset about it.” Honey Lemon said. “And I think I know why.”

“Y-you do?” Hiro asked, but backed down really quick. “I-I mean, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah, Honey Lemon, why would he be upset with it! The story is epic!” Fred joined in, unaware of Hiro’s frown deepening as the male kept on talking. “The plot is amazing, there are so many cliffhangers and, of course, the cherry on top being Karmiutie, of which, by the way, I am the president of the fanclub and-“

He was interrupted by the slam of the door and he blinked, only now noticing they were left alone in the garage, Hiro nowhere to be seen.

“Way to go, dumbass.” Go Go commented as she popped a balloon.

“What did I do?” Fred blinked. There was a collective slap as everyone else facepalmed.

Honey Lemon put on a determined face and followed the way the teen went. The others followed, saying their greetings to Aunt Cass on their way past, making a beeline towards the back and up to the living area. Hiro was, unsurprisingly, sitting by his desk, tapping furiously at his laptop.

“Hiro?” The ginger-haired woman softly spoke up. The said teen huffed in response.

“I though I made it clear I don’t want to talk about it.” He said angrily.

“She’s not letting this one go, so you might as well stop being stubborn.” Go Go crossed her arms and leaned over the doorframe, clearly making sure his only escape route is blocked.

“Hiro, please.” Honey Lemon kneeled down to find herself at his eye level. “We just want to help.”

“There is nothing any of us can do to help.” The teenager mumbled, looking away. “Besides, it’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. And you have every right to be upset.” The woman replied softly.

Hiro pointedly looked back at his laptop, attempting to ignore them. The redhead didn’t back out, however.

“We were all so caught up in how good Karmi’s story is that we failed to notice how upsetting it is for you. After all, it’s your hero persona she chose to pair herself with.” Honey Lemon spoke up. The tapping of the keyboard stopped, but the teen didn’t turn around yet. “And, knowing the characters are real, people started to assume the relationship is real, too. And that’s wrong. What Karmi is doing is wrong. You can’t just- what’s the word they use for saying two characters are in a romantic relationship...?”

“Ship.” Helpfully suggested Fred.

“Yes, thanks, Freddie.” Honey Lemon smiled thankfully and turned back to Hiro. “You can’t just ship two real people. It’s wrong. It shouldn’t be acceptable.”

“And yet I seem to be the only one who has problem with that.” The teen mumbled, his back still to his friends.

“I think it’s because the story is about our superhero personas.” Fred interjected and everyone, even Hiro, looked at him in confusion. “I mean, superheroes themselves feel like fictional characters. And, even though everyone knows we are real, it’s still hard to distinguish that if we’re also the characters in a work of fiction, which, by definition, means it’s not real. It creates somewhat a paradox and people just don’t completely realise the fiction part actually refers only to the story itself and not the characters.”

Everyone stared dumbfoundedly at the millionaire, who blinked and starred back.

“What?” He asked.

“We just didn’t expect you to say something so... thoughtful.” Wasabi finally said, the others nodding in agreement.

“Hey, I can act smart too, you know?” Fred argued and then promptly took out an unwrapped candy from his pocket, have it a testing lick, shrugged and put it in his mouth. Everyone shuddered.

“Aaaand the usual Fred is back.” Go Go commented while Wasabi tried to not puke.

“Even if what he said is true, it’s not like I can just go and tell her to stop.” Hiro picked up the conversation to take their minds of Fred and the candy. “What should I even say? Hey, Karmi, you know this story you write? You should stop because I don’t like you shipping yourself with this guy, whose name is definitely not Captain Cutie. Cool? Cool.”

Fred snorted but Go Go quickly elbowed him in the ribs to stop. Hiro groaned and hid his head between his arms. Honey Lemon approached the teen and put her hand on his shoulder.

“Maybe not as Hiro you, but if you explained it as your superhero you?” She suggested, smiling encouragingly.

“I am not going to change into my armour just so I can talk to Karmi.” He replied sternly and sighed. “I just- gonna have to live with it... somehow...”

“If you have a problem with something or someone, you should speak up, genius.” Go Go said.

“Talking is the key to the healthy communication.” Baymax agreed.

“Ugh, fine.” Hiro said. “I’ll talk to her. If I see her on a patrol or something.”

“Hiro-“ Honey Lemon started to say but the robot cut her in.

“I’ve found a disturbing information in the local news. Playing it now.”

The screen on his chest turned on and a reporter appeared, speaking about some message being sent to their station this afternoon. The view changed, and they saw Momakase, grinning at the camera.

“Welcome, Big Hero 6.” She said, looking far too happy about something. “I advise you to come to the Akuma Island. And make haste, unless you want something bad happen to someone’s girlfriend.”

She smirked and stepped aside to show a chair. And on this chair, tied up and sputtering curses, was-

“Karmi!” Everyone, sans Hiro gasped.

“She’s not my girlfriend!” Hiro shouted.

***

“Okay, we go in, take Momakase down, free Karmi and get out of here.” Hiro said as Baymax flew them towards the remote island. “Baymax, as soon as you are in range, scan the place for both Karmi and Momakase.”

The robot didn’t reply, but the teenager knew he acknowledged the order and will get to it whenever it’s possible.

“Oh, this gives the perfect opportunity for you to talk to Karmi about you-know-what.” Fred piped up from where he was held by the scruff of his costume in Baymax’s right hand.

“I’d rather focus on the current problem first.” Hiro mumbled back.

“I’m just saying.” The millionaire shrugged, but, luckily, dropped the subject.

Several minutes later, they were creeping the abandoned hallways of old Krei Enterprises facility, Baymax leading them in the direction he sensed Karmi from. Momakase, surprisingly, didn’t turn up on the scan.

“Karmi is inside.” Baymax said, stopping in front of the metal door.

Hiro nodded and looked to Wasabi and Honey Lemon, pointing his head towards the door. The woman tapped the keys on her purse and produced a green-coloured ball. She plastered it to the frame and pulled on one side, the goo expanding to create something like a line. Each one of them, except for Wasabi, caught the goo-line and held strong, while the said man cut through metal around where the goo was stuck. When the cut was finished, they pulled the piece out, managing to not hit it on anything, hence making their entrance silent.

Baymax put the cut-out metal aside and they climbed through the opening one by one. In the middle of the room, under a single spotlight, stood a chair. And on this chair, quite unsurprisingly, Hiro had to say, was Karmi, tied and gagged.

As soon as the teen noticed the heroes, she started to squirm and let out muffled noises, trying desperately to communicate with them. Hiro secretly turned on his voice-modulating device, motioning for the rest of the team to do the same, before approaching the captured girl. It was in situations like this, he was glad he once decided to equip their armours with both face-covering visors and voice modulators. It lowered the chance of being recognised if they had to be around people who knew them personally.

“Don’t worry, we’ll get you out in no time.” He reassured Karmi and reached for her gag. As soon as it was off, Karmi gasped and screamed.

“It’s a trap!”

At this precise moment, purple-coloured bars rose from the floor and circled around the heroes and Karmi. They all whirled around, shocked by their sudden appearance.

“Like stealing a candy from a kid.” A familiar voice said from the shadows, and Momakase strolled into viee, a smirk on her lips.

“You think you can keep us in here?” Hiro asked and nodded at Wasabi.

Before going in, they decided they were not going to use their names around Karmi, since figuring out new nicknames would take too long, and Hiro was not going to use their fanfiction names, for obvious reasons. So they agreed on silent communication instead, which, so far, worked perfectly well.

Wasabi approached the bars and slashed at them with a cocky grin, but just as fast he jumped back with a pained yelp, when the bars zapped him.

“What in the world?!” He squeaked, rubbing at his arm.

“Did you really think I would use regular cage, knowing of your abilities?” Momakase laughed, strolling slowly along the bars. “You’re not getting out of this one.”

“Oh really?” Honey Lemon challenged and quickly produced a pink-coloured chem-ball from her purse. She let it drop to the floor and quickly side-stepped, as it bounced off the bars and hit the chair, acid eating through the wood.

“I told you it’s not a regular cage.” Momakase smirked and looked extremely pleased with herself. “This one was created by our mutual acquaintance specifically to hold you lot in place.”

“Mutual- what are you talking about?!” Hiro asked angrily.

“I believe he goes by the name Obake.” The woman replied and watched the heroes faces morph into horror as they recognised the name. “Well, anyway, it was nice to chat and all that, but I have to go. As for you...” She produced a small device from her pocket and pushed the button, the lights in the room suddenly turning red and the alarm ringing. “Have fun getting out of here before this whole place blows up.” She waved her hand at them and ran away, leaving them to their doom.

“Ohmigosh-! This place is going to blow up! We’re stuck in a impenetrable cage in a building that’s going to blow up any second now and-“ Wasabi spoke in a high voice, his eyes wide and breath hitching.

“Calm down.” Hiro said. “We’re getting out of here in no time.”

“How?!” Wasabi squeaked. “You saw what happened. My blades don’t work, and neither does the acid!”

“We just need more strength, that’s all.” The teen replied calmly and turned to Baymax. “Initiate Overdrive Mode.” He ordered.

At those words the robot started to change. Pieces of armour hid, others extended. A moment later, a completely unrecognisable Baymax, sans his colours, stood in front of the group.

“That’s... I wrote about it!” Karmi breathed out, astonished. “You read my story?!”

“Can we talk about it after we escape?” Hiro suggested, and Go Go noticed how he shuddered slightly at Karmi’s exclamation. “The sword, please.”

Baymax reached his had to his back and produced a heavy-looking blade. He took a swing and sliced right though the bars, Hiro grinning at the performance.

“Good job. Turn it off before it drains all of your power.” He said and Baymax swiftly came back to his original look. “Now everyone hop on and hold on tight. We don’t know how much time we have and I’d rather not risk running back the way we came from.”

One rocket fist later, they shot out of the roof. And not a moment too soon, as the facility blew up just as they managed to get to the safe distance. Baymax flew them back to the city and they all jumped off to the ground.

“Um... Thank you... For saving me.” Karmi mumbled, blushing as she took a glance at Hiro. The teen was painfully reminded she had a crush on his superhero persona.

“That’s what we do.” He replied, looking away. Honey Lemon came closer and gently nudged his shoulder, an encouraging smile on her lips. He sighed and turned towards Karmi. “Actually, there is something I want to tell you. It’s... it’s about your story.”

“My- YOU READ IT?!” The girl squealed, her eyes almost turning star-shaped.

“Of course, it’s amazing and-“ Fred was painfully elbowed in the stomach by Go Go before he could say anything more.

“I... How do I..?” Hiro scratched the back of his neck as he searched for words. “I read some of it, and you’re really talented but- I don’t really feel comfortable with it, you know?”

“I don’t understand...” Karmi cocked her head to the side in confusion. “Why?”

“It’s because of how you portray us. Portray me.” The teen elaborated. “I’m not- we’re not a pair, Karmi. I know it is a work of fiction and it’s not real, but writing that you are my girlfriend, having all those people read it... It’s not right.”

“Oh...” The girl looked down, suddenly not able to meet his eye. “I didn’t mean to-“

“I know.” He reassured. “I know you really want this to be true, but this is not the way. How would you feel if someone wrote a story about you and put you in a romantic relationship in said story? No matter if you like this person or not, it’s wrong to ship real life people.”

“I- I’m sorry.” Karmi said, still looking away. “I guess I was so caught up with my own fantasy, I didn’t stop to think how would you feel about it.”

“It’s alright.” Honey Lemon spoke up, smiling kindly. “You didn’t know.”

“But I should have thought about it. And I didn’t.” Karmi admitted. “I.. I will delete it once I get home. I’m sorry I upset you.”

“Thank you.” Hiro smiled thankfully at the girl. “And I meant it, you’re an amazing writer. Maybe you could still write about us, just no shipping this time.” He winked and Karmi blushed.

“You... still want me to write about you? Even after...?” She asked, puzzled by the suggestion.

“Between the two of us...” Hiro leaned closer and whispered to the girl’s ear. “I wouldn’t trust anyone else with our story.”

Karmi blushed fiercely, mumbled something that sounded like “thankyouihavetogonowbye” and ran away, her cheeks red. The heroes looked at her retreating figure.

“You didn’t mention the name.” Go Go pointed out as they started on their way back to Fred’s manor to leave their armours there.

“I can live with Captain Cutie.” Hiro shrugged with a smile.

---

That's it. I hope you liked it. Reblog if you did. I live for reblogs.

[opes-magnas]

『dear youth,』- Part 01

Welcome to the first part very unplanned fanfiction (?) series, ‘dear youth,’  that we are definitely writing to get rid of our writers’ block. A part of this series will be released everytime we’re not at our best, or want portray some of our concerns, or just want to give our readers and ourselves a light read. Enjoy!

i.

The room glowed in a comforting deep orange. Eleanor Williams was softly caressing the spine of a book about Jupiter's moons in her grasp as she sat in a cozy corner alongside her two best friends, who like wise had their noses deeply buried in their books. The Slytherin observed as one was in confusion, devastated, distraught even, as he gazed intently into his copy of 'The Dream Oracle'. Divination gave James O'Carroll a massive headache with a cherry on top, and right now, he looked as miserable as his grades. Eleanor then shifted her eyes to the other one, Althaea Farley, who look quite miserable as well. The poor pure blood was stuck trying to understand the magic of the muggles- about something they called the Internet. Althaea's face looked as blue as her uniform. Eleanor was sure she was on the verge of dropping Muggle Studies as an elective (she tried to convince her earlier, but Althaea would not listen). A small smile appeared on her face as she recalled the incident that took place a few days ago.

'Ella! You've got to help me, please!', Althaea was clutching onto Eleanor's shoulders, fingers digging deep into her collar bones. Eleanor saw this day coming, for it was an inescapable trap - one that all humans, magical or not were fated to fall into. 'I gave you access to the Internet, what do you want now?!', The muggle-born said as her mouth perked up into a smug smile, knowing all too well where this was going. 'You've got to tell me the name of this man in this organisation called K-Pop!'

There it was.

To clear all things up, Eleanor was not a hardcore fan of the genre, but found herself bopping to the songs once in a while. And as it took the muggle world infectiously, the wizard was likely to follow and being the only muggle-born in her circle, Eleanor knew she had to deal with a crazy Althaea who she opined behaved very unwisely for a Ravenclaw. The system was flawed, huh. Now, she had a picture of a random man in slick black hair shoved up in her face. 'I MADE A COPY OF HIS FACE USING A FREAKY MACHINE.'

'His name is Na Jaemin. And you used a printer.', she said. Althaea suddenly stopped in her tracks. Her eyes stared around the edge of her paper and she  mumbled the word 'Printer' over and over. That's how she learnt new things. Her eyes found focus again and she stared into Eleanor's eyes and said in all seriousness -

'His smile does wonders on my stress.'

Eleanor couldn't wait to get herself out of that conversation. 'Oh yeah, it has magical properties.'

'YOU'RE TELLING ME HE'S A WIZARD?!', Althaea's eyes burned with curiosity.

Big mistake. Gosh Ella knew she conjured up a demon for herself by letting Althaea discover the Internet.

'Ella, Ella!' Eleanor was snapped back to the familiar corner in the library. She found her eyes fixated on Althaea, the smile she had earlier intact.  Discomfort evident in Althaea's face. Her fingers were smudged with ink from all the writing she was doing, a small well forming into her fingers from holding her quill for too long. She finally decided to break the silence after feeling a stare coming in her way. 'I almost thought you were Peter.', she said, remembering the underclassman who was very sappily head over heels for her. If it weren't for his crappy personality, she would've found him cute.

'You were smiling creepily while staring at me, um, for about three minutes now.', she said looking at Eleanor for an answer.

'Creepy? I was clearly threatening you.', Eleanor said, trying to explain herself in a way that didn't make her seem like she was an idiot.

'Uh huh, whatever you say Ella.', Althaea said as she went back to writing her essay with misery. Yeah, that was an idiotic move, Eleanor realised. She decided to finished reading up about Europa. Her O.W.Ls were almost here in a few months, and as much as she hated studying, she wanted to do her best to become an Auror.

'Na Jaemin's smile is cute. Her best friend's smile is creepy. Gosh.', she muttered before melting into the pages of her textbook.

ii.

James, at this point, was just considering bullshitting through Divination.

He had already dropped out on Ancient Runes, and knew this was his last straw. And if you can't succeed well in something, might as well make it fun for the worthwhile. He remembered how Peter's friend Justin Brown had it worse. The Gryffindor was letting Peter off for his illegal Galleon-to-Muggle money business with a warning, when he found out that the poor 4th year could barely keep up with Divination, Transfiguration and History of Magic. Imagine being that worse off.

Oh wait, he was last year.

'I cannot believe you don't know the wand movements for these charms!', Eleanor chuckled. James was frustrated. He decided to pay attention in Defence Against the Dark Arts for once, and Charms completely slipped past his mind. 'Shh!', James pressed a finger on his lips. 'Don't let Thaea listen! She'll never quit otherwise. Can't you just help me? James was sure of the chaos he would bring upon himself if he ever told Althaea. The endless scrolls of essays, memory cards, being locked up in the library for hours, and perhaps the worst thing - an extremely stressed Althaea, which lead to further worse consequences than what the former listed would do on his free time.

'Alright, alright. I'll help you.'

James sighed in relief. Hopefully he'll pass this year. This year was barely anything. Next year, he'd face the O.W.Ls that would shape his entire future. And he would do anything to make sure that future didn't involve him on the streets.

///---

'How do you not know the locking spell?!', Eleanor said exasperatedly. It'd been almost two hours since the pair sat down in the Gryffindor common room. James was sat down on the floor by the couch facing the fireplace, eyes closed as he tried to recall the spell he learnt last week. The wand gripped in his left hand had barely produced any sparks the whole time.

'You know, you sound like Althaea right now.', James clicked his tongue. 'This is just too confusing to remember! Why do the spells have to be in Latin?! What happened to those rhymes?!'

Eleanor closed the book in her grasp and placed a hand on James' shoulder. She pat his back as she tried to think of words to comfort him. 'There's a reason 'buttock' shouldn't be used in the same sentence as 'lock'.', she said after a thought.

'That doesn't even make sense!'

'No no, you don't understand, I'm connecting the dots. This is why spells mustn't rhyme.', Eleanor said as she joined her fingers together.

'You're not connecting shit.'

'I've connected them.'

James stared into his friends eyes before he broke into a hysteria. He grabbed his tummy, and turned to his sides. Eleanor was actually surprised to see his eyes brim up with tears. Was it really that funny? Maybe her best friend was going insane.

'I'm a screw-up.', James stated. 'Even you're sick of me.' Something dropped in Ella's stomach. It wasn't laughter after all. 'James-', she started.

'Why's James crying?'

And when I tell you James squealed. The Gryffindor turned away immediately, wiping his tears away. Ella was too shocked to respond. She was torn between respecting James' wishes and genuinely trying to help him, which included having to tell Althaea about him. She chose the latter.

'He's afraid he's going to fail this year.', she began in a small voice. 'Can't get charms right.'

'Ella! I told you not to tell!', James croaked out. 'Thaea, I'm fine, you don't need to worry.', he got up from the floor with a sigh. His ears were a deep red from crying. And embarrassment.

'Wow James, Do you think of me as a person who's just not going to worry? Why didn't you come for help? I thought we were friends.', Althaea stated.

'We are, but you're going to worry and stuff me with books! And then you'll start talking about how unprepared you are, how you barely do any studying in the hours you're at the library and make me feel worse, and a thousand times more unprepared!', James couldn't control his thoughts anymore.

'Oh James! I'm sorry I make you feel that way,', Althaea said, blood rising to her cheeks out of embarrassment. 'I can always change my teaching methods! Come on, I'll help you out.', Althaea tried to reason. She settled down on the couch by the fireplace and opened the textbook Eleanor had previously abandoned.

'Well? Come on.'

////----

'OK James, you're actually doing quite well! Now tell me what the Box Blasting Charm is.' It was weird to see Eleanor be this helpful to anybody, and it made James' heart utterly thankful. But that didn't quite mean he knew the spell of course. James' eyes shifted to see Althaea gazing over in expectation.

What was that darn spell?

Althaea stood up suddenly and cleared her voice.'Ayo, Ay, this one for the boys with the boomin'...'

James and Eleanor could do nothing but stare in silence. Althaea Farley? Muggle Music? Nicki Minaj? Please, this was not her. This was the demon Eleanor unleashed.

'FINISH THE LYRIC BITCH'

'Sy-system.', James was still in quite in shock. 'System, system, Cistem Aperio! That's the box blasting charm!', he continued with a smile creeping in from both sides. He got the spell right!

'There ya go!', Althaea exclaimed. Eleanor on the other hand, was thrown into a fit of laughter. Her high-pitched cackle rang through the walls of the common room and made up for the traumatic moment the trio had just witnessed.

James was sure he'd pass that year.

And back from his flashback, James scurried on with his essay. He was supposed to write an interpretation of his dream for Divination, mostly because Professor Trelawney seemed awfully serious about failing him that semester.

'What do you reckon me becoming Head Boy in my dream means?', he nudged Althaea, just wondering if he'd get an actual response for once. She was writing down another essay for Muggle studies. Never the quitter, James thought. Althaea turned her head around to face James. 'Doom.', she deadpanned.

'You're probably right.', James nodded as he wrote it down in his essay. 'Doomsday at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,', he whispered, 'for all the students realise the facial prowess of James O'Carroll.' Thea chose ignorance. Eleanor rolled her eyes. 'Why am I your friend again?', she asked.

'That's not a question related to studying, and therefore I'm not obligated to answer that.', James replied as he scribbled down more praises about himself on the parchment. Hey, he did say he was going to bullshit through the subject.

'Who said we're not allowed to ask questions not related to books here?', Eleanor asked, 'I should be allowed to ask whatever I wish.'

'This is a library, the realm of the books and the smart ones. We'd seem like idiots if we spoke of puny friend stuff!'

'I don't think you have to worry about that, you seem like an idiot either way.', Althaea interrupted whilst refilling her quill with more ink before getting back to writing her essay. 'Good one, Thaea!', Eleanor wheezed.  

'You too, Williams.'

///////-------

if you’ve read till here, hi i love you <3 tell us what you think of this nonsense hehe

general writing taglist (ask to be added / removed!): @kaavijournals (hbd sweetie <3), @hazelandsunshine, @47crayons, @artbyeloquent​, @writing-is-a-martial-art​, @the-writing-avocado​, @shinesundark​ 

(also please tell us if you do not want to be tagged in this series as it’s halfway between an og series and fanfiction!)

[mongooseblues]

Hi! What inspired you to create your OCs?

Ooooh nice and open-ended I love it!

Back in like… February? March? I was like yo it’s time to make some characters I’m getting sick of niche fanfiction and I don’t watch anything anyone watches. Started just with vague themes and the plan of an ethically murky relationship between a professor and a grad student. Teachers have been super important to me throughout my life and frankly I have lack-of-daddy issues so male teachers have been guiding forces for me (and sometimes sexual confusion and too-ardent admiration exclusively on my part gets involved lol) Got kinda derailed from my education during pandemic stuff and I was missin’ school so professor OC! Cal is consciously inspired by a mix of people I’ve loved, and subconsciously undoubtedly more.

I'm gonna ramble again so here's a text break.

Specifically, two particular teachers were the biggest forces that shaped Cal’s character, one of whom, Mr. W, I’ve mentioned on here a couple of times as I was in class with him pre-pandemic and he happens to be my teacher again now. It is constant inspiration I adore him and he was such a influence for Cal originally that he’ll do or say something every couple days where I’m like 🥺 That Was Very Cal of Him (which is like, not a surprise considering, but it gets me every time).

The other professor was one who effortlessly commanded a lecture hall like nobody’s business and was hot and magnetic and charming and also somehow got me so excited about an obscure subject I was only taking to fulfill a GE requirement, and I got the sense that other people felt that way too because the engagement within the class as a whole was very palpable. Also one time he came to class with, in his words, a “heavy, heavy cold” and proceeded to lecture through substantial stuffiness and it almost killed me dead and I learned exactly nothing during that particular lecture and I still think about it. He was super upfront about not feeling well and told us immediately and apologized in advance and it was somehow done with confidence and grace and he was just darling is all.

My beloved Special Agent Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks is in there but honestly half of what I loved about Cooper was, I realized, my own personal headcanons for him in terms of illness. But his kindness and politeness and enduring sense of responsibility are things I loved drawing on and intersecting with when I wrote fanfic for him so many of those traits and those intersections have been carried into Cal.

There’s another couple friends I adore in there, and Cal's Indian identity draws extremely heavily on an ex-roommate and what he’s told me about the pressures of arranged relationships as it affected him personally. Also Jackie O. (who most of y’all haven't really met yet) is actually the name of that ex-roomie’s dog (who I never actually met but I heard so much about her that she made an impression). I told him I used her name for a fictional canine character and he was beyond pleased to hear it. (“You call her the whole thing right? Because the O. is important.” (Of course I do, the O. is crucial)).

My partner is also heavily featured in Cal. That one’s not purposeful. But I have to keep acknowledging to myself that many of Cal’s flaws are his, and I’m realizing as I write that part of what I’m doing is probably trying to better understand my partner, I don’t even realize I’m doing it until I reach some revelation. My partner is similarly difficult to pin down psychologically, I think maybe that’s part of what’s possessing me to examine Cal so thoroughly and why there are things about him that keep eluding me that other people I talk to about Cal actually sometimes seem better equipped to point out than I can. I dunno, sometimes I do something with Cal and I don’t consciously know what I’m getting at exactly I just know I’m getting at something.

Cal and Rafael’s struggles are unintentionally reflective of my partner’s and my own, in an arrangement where in some ways we’re each simultaneously both characters. Some of the Rafie stuff I just haven’t been able to write yet because it’s emotionally hard and hits very very close to home. I didn’t write myself into their story on purpose either. I didn’t even realize I did it until later, maybe because I just usually don’t look at my life from a top-down perspective that way so I’m kinda slow about it and I don’t think I realized how dire some stuff was until I wrote it in an obscured fictional context.

(Partner is currently out of town and after typing this out I sent him a text that said “Sometimes I think I write about you by accident” and proceeded to cry about that for a minute. We’re okay, I think, don’t worry 💕) Wow I got kind of off track there. Suffice to say Cal is profoundly loved and very important to me.

I really wanted a divorced character and neglected to fully realize if I got deep in exploring that relationship it’d be sad. It wasn’t the original plan to explore Cal/Rafie pre-divorce at all, actually. Hell, it wasn’t the original plan to follow any of these characters anywhere besides Cal’s main storyline but here I am a couple hundred pages later doing so. Rafael’s not really consciously drawing on any influences, but probably some unspecific amalgamation of Junot Diaz characters have made an impression.

Josephine is new to you guys, but the Cal/Josephine relationship is, in some ways purposely and in others not, drawn from an ex-friend I sorta fell in love with once a long time ago and still adore lots about in retrospect. A situation I could have handled better had I been older/more mature and now I’m kinda exploring that and I can tell another something whose thesis statement I don’t yet fully know is being uncovered here because every time I write their relationship it instantly becomes much longer than I’d intended and it gets ridiculously intimate from Cal’s perspective.

I’m breaking my own heart six ways to Sunday over here lmao.

On a lighter note.

Scotty is most consciously drawn from bits of my sister (the sex & love addiction aspect especially, I read her self-help books and use her as a bounce board for stuff with Scotty’s character development sometimes) and my irl best friend—who is impossibly cool—was a big influence on their non-binary identity and their radicalism and some of their speech mannerisms, but those are really the only direct connections I can tie because I feel like my experience with Scotty in my own life was a rotating cast of that extremely cool, slightly dangerous, alluring but A Lot person I always wished I knew better but was a little afraid of what would happen if I did.

and I gotta finish this damn story so y’all can properly meet Scotty. I have a ton of content I’ve written that I have to hide behind a sort of spoiler wall of two unfinished fics so I need to get on that.

[ovidialee]

After the War Author Interview: @solasnarealtai

The second of our Four Horseman @solasnarealtai​ lets us into her writer brain to school us on why Snarcissa makes uncanny sense--in canon, no less, and why she wouldn’t survive life in the Wizarding World. And I can confirm that she adorably talks EXACTLY like this in real life:

1) Which came first for you - original work or fanfiction?

Definitely original, but I can’t say that any of the early stuff was any good. I was just a kid that liked to make up stories, whether I was really writing them down or thinking them in my head...but my mom says that I’ve been writing for about as long as she can remember. I discovered fanfic when I was in high school - I think it was my freshman year. One of my really good friends shared most of my classes and we sat near each other in all of them. I noticed her writing a lot one day and asked what she was working on. She asked if I’d heard of a particular manga (I cannot recall the name of it) and even though I hadn’t, she proceeded to explain to me that she was writing fanfiction of it. She was using her own characters, however, and essentially just had me make one up and let me start writing with her. You can say I was hooked after that! 

2) I never pictured Snarcissa or really thought about it. You definitely opened my eyes to why it works so well. I’d love for you to share the drive behind these two characters -- and specifically why in a bookstore? 

Why wouldn’t I?! Joking aside... There's just something about them that makes sense to me. I started shipping them after Half-Blood Prince came out and I read the Spinner’s End scene. Everything about that chapter was pushing me to this belief that there had been something between these two in the past, even if there wasn’t currently. Narcissa clearly knew the way to Snape’s house, for one, and I think we can all agree that he is not a man who would give just anyone access to his home. She also grabs at his robes, is so close to him that her tears are literally falling on his chest...and he lets her.

Snape and Narcissa are both very intelligent people and I don’t think I’m alone in finding smart people attractive; we’re just drawn together, almost like magnets.

The Unbreakable Vow has some wedding vow vibes to it, and I’ve seen arguments all over the internet citing it as evidence either for or against this ship. It is true, I think, that Snape is willing to do what he must for his role of spy, but...some lesser men wouldn’t have agreed to make that vow. This ties a bit into my headcanon of him as Draco’s godfather as well. He is doing what he can to help people he cares about. 

It is very unrealistic that he - especially as a grown man - would go the rest of his life pining over a supposed failed romantic relationship from his childhood and then just abstain from any relationship. I have many feelings about the Potters, which I’ll mostly abstain from right now, but the way that I write my Snape in regards to Lily is that he loved her as his friend, and that love may have come across a bit stronger than it would from other people, but he didn’t exactly have many role models in his life to know the nuances of those emotions at the time. So, my Snape regrets a lot of things, but he’s going to keep living….and part of that includes his life between the sheets. 

I know the other Horsemen have taken inspiration from your wonderfully crafted Death Eater Chronicles, no matter which characters they’re writing -- and it’s brilliant! But if I write Snape, I write my Snape, and that man loves books. I’m a bookseller myself, which is part of why I’ve got all these scenes going through my head, but...we’ve seen what his house looks like. Books are everywhere along the walls. It’s literally a bibliophile’s dream to have that! I don’t know that all of them - or even many of them - fantasize specifically about having some hot sex surrounded by books but...I’m just saying  (again)  that I find smart people very attractive. And my Snape finds it very satisfactory. 

3) And we find your Snape supremely satisfying. You are, after all, the queen of the Snape Bookstore Smut AU. If you had to write the AU of your life, what would it be? And what tropes would you use?

I honestly don’t even know how to answer this question. I will say though, if somebody adapted it to a film, I’d probably insist that it have a soundtrack similar to Beauty and the Beast (fun fact, that’s one of my favorites) and....I could see my love of writing being there still, but I could also picture it completely gone. For the sake of humoring myself, we’ll say I keep it. I go to a fancy school and get a great book deal, but then...oops….I’m having trouble writing and need to get some inspiration, so I go off on a little trip to seclude myself, but a couple days in, I have a meet-cute with an adorably quirky person -- probably a guy but I’m open to ladies too. I’d probably need help with something or we’re both reaching for the last copy of some book. And then I need the only one bed trope to come into play somewhere. That is one of my favorites, because I’m ridiculously simple sometimes… I’ll agree that it is so overdone, but it’s a trope for a reason! And I’m a sucker for it!

If we’re saying AU as in, I get to go into the Potter universe instead of anything like our own, I’m definitely going to Hogwarts and not Ilvermorny. I have spent most of my life picturing myself in Scotland, and going shopping in Diagon Alley. I’m not changing that because we finally get some answers on magic in America. Plus, accents. 

Anyway. Hmm… As much as I want to be Slytherin, my Puff roots run deep, so I’d still stick with getting my taste of Slytherin elsewhere. *wink wink* I feel like such a basic person for saying this, but I’d have wanted to be there while Snape was a professor, because he’s got the sort of knowledge about his subject I admire in a teacher and I love learning from people who really know their shit. This obviously means I’d have to be around for the second Wizarding War, but I’ll be really honest and I doubt I’d have made it out alive. So...maybe no tropes for me there.

It has emotions, it has yearning, it has...books and Snape and smut. READ Even the Night Bleeds

Stay tuned for our third Horseman’s fic…

[mrsseverussnape]

Love Is You - chapter 6

a/n: Are you seeing these posts? If not i don’t wanna spend my time editing the fanfiction for nothing…

    The familiar knock on the door woke Scarlett up in the morning. It was none other than Severus Snape. He was standing there with their breakfast.

"Did i wake you up...?"

"Yeah..." Scarlett murmured sleepily. "Whatever come in."

"Sorry, i thought you'd be awake..." he put the plates on the table.

"The pills make me sleepy all the time... You help yourself, i will be back." She headed to the bathroom.

While he was pouring tea into the cups, she came back and sat down the chair.

"I went to the owlery earlier and there were couple of letters for you so i took them, here."

"Oh thanks."

She looked through them; Leo, Carina, dad... and there was a package. She wondered who sent it so ripped it open since there was no name tag on it. There was a grey cardigan and a note inside of the package, she immediately recognized the cardigan because it was hers. She was very confused, so she picked up the note and read it.

~

I didn't have any thick clothes with me that night and after Sirius and his warmness left me all alone in the cold bed, i had to borrow that from your wardrobe. You lost your husband but you can have your cardigan back.

Love, Arabelle

~

Scarlett took the cardigan and the note and threw them into the fireplace while tears running down on her cheeks.

"How dare she!?" She punched the wall next to the fireplace and fell down the floor crying hysterically. Severus run up to her immediately; he was shocked at her reaction, that was so out of character.

"Scarlett, Scar calm down. What's wrong?"

"I want to kill her!" She was screaming and crying with anger. "I hate her! She ruined everything!" She was digging her long nails into her palms as she clenched her fists.

Severus was so confused and worried at the same time. He hasn’t seen her like this before and he wasn't sure what to do because clearly talking wouldn't work at that moment so he just held her close to calm her down. Scarlett was resistant at first but after a while she leant into him and just cried her eyes out until there was no tear to shed. Sometime have passed like that and finally she was no longer crying and moved away from his embrace slowly.

"I am sorry, that was so pathetic of me..." She whispered while looking away from him.

"There is no need to apologize Scarlett." He stood up and gave her a hand then he led her to the table.

"I feel so ashamed... I can't control myself at all..."

He poured some fresh tea for her and sat back down.

"Why do you feel ashamed? You just express your emotions that way and if it relaxes you, do it."

"I have bad thoughts all over my mind Severus... i don't even know what am i gonna do next. I am scared of myself..."

"Talk through them with me."

She took a sip from her tea and thought for a while. "Did Carina tell you anything? Be honest with me."

"No, not at all. She just said family issues and i didn't question it any further."

"I don't know where to start, so many things happened lately... like i can't perceive them at all." sighed deeply, Scarlett was feeling so distressed she was still shaking from the crying.

"Start with the easiest one for you."

"I am no longer the deputy minister, i quit."

"I read that in newspaper and i was surprised actually."

"It wasn't an easy decision. I love... loved my job and it was a good way to show my abilities but... i had to quit."

"Did you get a better offer from somewhere else?"

"Oh, i wish..." she smiled sadly "I am unemployed right now." She saw the confused look on his face. "And here is the shitty part..." she finished off her tea, hoping it would ease her a bit. But unfortunately, it didn't. She was scratching her hands unwittingly. Severus knew something bad was coming, this was never a good sign.

"He, Sirius, umm... cheated on me..." she bit her lip to stop herself from crying once again but the tears didn't want to stay in their places but run down on her cheeks. "With his co-worker... i caught them in our bed..."

Severus couldn't believe the things he just heard. Sirius literally would kill himself to be with Scarlett when he was young and when he finally had her, he cheated. Severus regretted his decision that he made 30 years ago, he shouldn't have believed Sirius. While he was busy with his thoughts, Scarlett continued.

"We divorced 10 days ago. 26 years of marriage ended in half an hour... and like this wasn't bad enough, after the court i came across with "the girl" and she humiliated me in front of many people. And the package was from her. She has borrowed my cardigan that night because after i interrupted their hot action, she was cold." Her anger was rising, and her face was turning red at the same time. "She wrote me that i lost my husband but i can take my cardigan back." She laughed angrily and then started to cry helplessly once again.

Severus was so angry and just wanted to find Sirius and put him in his place. Seeing Scarlett like this broke his heart into pieces but he didn't know what to do to make her feel any better. He could see her pain through her beautiful eyes. He would give anything to see them shine with happiness again.

"I am standing on a very thin line, if i let myself fall which i am close to... i won't be able to recover from this at all or it will be so hard... I don't want it Severus..." her voice had such a pleading tone and she was literally screaming for help.

"I am here for you Scarlett, whatever you want or need i will always be there to help you."

He was dying to hug her tightly and kiss her pain away. She was the only one he ever loved and his love for her never changed over years.

"Thank you, Severus." She smiled faintly.

He watched her while she was taking her pills with shaky hands.

"Would you like to do something today?" He felt like he needs to take her out of this room, she was stuck between the walls for days and it wasn’t helping her a bit.

"Like what?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, we can go for a walk to Hogsmade?"

She thought about it for couple of minutes.

"We can do that, maybe being outside will be good for me."

"Good then. I will be in my room, when you are ready just knock on my door." He picked up the breakfast dishes and left.

Scarlett sat on the chair for a while before starting to get ready. She thought about Severus, when he was here with her she felt so comfortable even speaking about such hard topics for her. He always made her feel so calm and peaceful. But another side of her was still hurt by him. She decided not to think about that now, there were already man problems in her life.

Some time has passed, and she was knocking on his door. He opened it with a tiny smile on his lips.

"Sorry it took a little longer, apparently i forgot how to dress up since the only thing i wear was sleeping gowns for weeks..."

"It's okay and you look beautiful whatever you wear." The sentence did slip from his mouth before he thought, he blushed a little after he noticed what he just said.

"Thank you, Severus."

She smiled lightly and the two walked out from the castle to Hogsmade. It was a chill November day, just like Scarlett likes it. She was a total winter person and the cold weather always made her feel better and alive. A tiny smile appeared on her lips.

"I was thinking the old days, i have never imagined that we would be on our way to Hogsmade in our 50s."

He chuckled softly. "But here we are. Just like we used to do while we were at Hogwarts."

"I would like to live a day from those good old times."

"We can live like one. First we go to Honeydukes and get your chocolates then we have our hot chocolates at Three Broomsticks and talk."

"Sounds good to me!"

He was happy to see her all excited about such a simple day. They walked the roads they knew so well, got her favourite chocolates and now they were enjoying their drinks.

"You never talked about your life, what's going on with you?"

"Nothing much. Just working and dealing with dunderheads..."

"I hope you are not calling my daughter a dunderhead." She joked.

"I wouldn't hire her as my assistant if I thought so."

"Ah good to hear that because she really likes you, you were always her favourite professor. She would be sad if you called her a dunderhead."

"Carina was my favourite student to be honest. She was such a good student."

"Like mother like daughter." She grinned proudly and flipped her hair.

"I see you very humble."

She chuckled softly while slapping his arm jokingly. Severus grinned at her, that was his Scarlett and he was glad to see her happy. They kept talking about random stuff and spent some more time at Hogsmade. They were back at Hogwarts before it got dark.

"Thank you so much for today Severus, i feel so much better." She smiled at him before she entered her room.

"It's my pleasure, i am here if you need anything."

"Thank you again, see you tomorrow."

"See you."

He walked into his room as well and laid down on his bed thinking about her. His heart was beating like a teenage boy who was back from his first date. She was right here, so close but yet again he couldn't hold her, couldn't inhale her sweet rose scent, couldn't kiss her delicate lips...

Taglist:

@snapefiction @lizlil @elizabeth-baelish @misselsbells06 @mais-e @lunnybunny12 @anfre109 @entirelymesmerising @wolvesofwinter13 @mrssnivellussnape

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[antihero-writings]

The Boy with the Unspeakable Name (Ch11)

Fandom: Harry Potter (and the Chamber or Secrets)

Fic Summary: Tom Riddle may have won his battle with Harry in the Chamber of Secrets, but there were a few unforeseen consequences; loss of Tom’s memory being the most obnoxious of them. Is it possible to stop Tom’s past from becoming his future? Or is the young Tom Riddle doomed to repeat his mistakes?

Notes: Alright everyone I'M BACK ...And I'm so so SO sorry that I took so long to update. Over the past few months I took my first real break from posting fanfiction overall in a long time.

Before I posted this chapter, I actually ended up heavily editing some of the previous chapters, which I'd like to inform those who read the originals about first. (Currently only the Ao3 version, and the reblog version of this fic with the picture on top are up-to-date.)

* I made Tom overall more polite. I was of the belief that his politeness was not an innate trait, and without memory, he would be a bit more unpleasant, and then we could see him grow with time. I do still believe it's not an innate personality trait, but a couple things made me realize he really should act differently in my fic. * I made Snape treat Tom better in the interrogation chapter. Both at the beginning and end. I liked the ending with the Levicorpus spell, and I do kinda miss it, especially because it informed Harry's reactions, but I think it was just too mean, especially because of something I'm going for later. * I added a conversation with the other boy in the hospital wing. (By the way, if you go back to read that and can think of more things they should talk about, don't hesitate to let me know!)

...I think those are all the big things! Feel free to offer feedback on the changes if you read them!

I'm so sorry to everyone who was hoping for faster updates. I truly do appreciate your comments and support deeply, and hope that you will continue to read and still enjoy it. I would still love to hear what you think!! <3 <3

Chapter 11: The House of Books

“The summer? With you? And Harry Potter?”

Tom had been examining the objects Snape had brought him—objects which had apparently once belonged to him—and blinked, raising his head to look at him.

“Believe me, I am not thrilled about it either.”

“No, it’s not that—well, it is—it’s just…” He paused, running his fingers along the clothes laid out on the bed before him, then squinted up at Snape. “I’m trying to discern why this is a good idea.”

Snape looked away, seemingly wondering that himself.

“I think, with time, you’ll find that our headmaster has a very unique sense of what is good for others. He believes uncomfortable situations often serve for people’s betterment.” He looked off to the side and muttered, “Whether or not they agree.”

“What sort of ‘betterment’ does this serve?”

“I suppose he would like the three of us to…”—He exhaled—“get along.”

Tom raised an eyebrow a second time, as if to say Us? Really?

“Futile though it may be,” Snape added.

Tom bit his lip, internally assessing the situation as he also returned to assessing the objects.

It wasn’t ideal—that didn’t need stating. Tom had a difficult time fathoming why Dumbledore—who seemed to bear him no ill-will—would want him to live with one person who had a rather insurmountable grudge against him, and another who didn’t seem to like him much better. He wanted them to ‘get along?’ `Surely that couldn’t be it. There had to be more to it.

Was Dumbledore really so naive as to think they’d grow closer instead of hate each other more? Not that he quite understood why they hated each other in the first place.

“Is there a reason I can’t stay here over the summer? I wouldn’t mind.”

Clearly Snape would have preferred that as well.

“You no doubt heard at the Feast that there has been some question as to whether Hogwarts is entirely safe. The Board of Governors likely wouldn’t approve of a student staying over the summer until they are able to deny these suspicions. Also, the headmaster wants you to learn magic over the summer, and due to few teachers possessing a proclivity to stay at Hogwarts during this time, we must make other arrangements.”

Tom’s breath bated at the reveal that he’d be learning magic, his mind beginning to buzz. He tried not to let his excitement leak into his voice:

“You’ll be teaching me magic?”

“Do keep up.”

“So…” He sat back. “What’s Harry going to do?”

“Mister Potter will be…taking up space as usual, I presume.”

Tom stifled a laugh; he hadn’t been expecting such a response from a professor.

“You don’t like Harry, do you?”

“I’m not…particularly fond of him.”

“Is it too forward of me to say it doesn’t appear you’re particularly fond of me either?”

“I pains me to say you’ll have adequate time to learn there aren’t a great many things I feel an extensive amount of fondness for.”

Tom could already see it now.

“Consider it a trial period, of sorts.” Snape swept around the room as he altered the direction of conversation. “If you are able to succeed over the summer, you may continue your schooling at Hogwarts when the next year begins. How much you learn, and how quickly, will determine the year in which you are placed. That is, if you’re placed in any year at all.” He looked down his hooked nose at him like that was both the most likely option, and the most preferable.

Tom could tell hidden behind his words was the idea that this ‘trial period’ was about more than just how adept he was at magic. He’d didn’t need telling that he’d have to be careful in more ways than magical.

“Do you have any other business to attend to before we leave?”

“Wait, we’re leaving now?”

“I don’t come to the hospital wing for pleasant chats if that’s what you’re asking.”

Tom bit his lip. In all honesty he would have liked to stay and explore the school more, but he could tell Snape wasn’t the kind of person one could negotiate such things with.

He turned back to the items that were supposed to be his.

“Is this really all I have?” He asked softly.

Sure all the essentials were there: clothes, books, toiletries and the like, but nothing more personal. No pictures for his nightstand, or even a keepsake to remind him of home, of family. Nothing that could tell him a little more about himself.

Snape paused a moment before he replied: “All of which I’m aware.”

Tom didn’t say anything. Merely put everything back in the trunk and followed Snape to the door.

“Don’t you have anything to bring home with you?” Tom asked.

“Don’t you think a skilled wizard such as myself would have methods of sending it to its proper location?”

They spent the walk across the grounds in silence, which could probably be considered steely, though Tom didn’t mind. The grounds around Hogwarts, and what little he saw of the castle, were altogether beautiful, and empty conversation would only have dulled his enjoyment. He turned around, walking backwards, a smile creeping upon his face upon at the sight of the castle in its full glory. He came to find this wasn’t a school, this was a palace, a haven.

A—

The word home rose to the surface of his chest.

It occurred to him this was the first time he’d smiled since he lost his memory. Really and truly smiled.

The feeling wasn’t half bad.

Snape raised an eyebrow. “You like it?”

Tom cleared his throat. “It’s nice I guess.” But he couldn’t stuff the smile down, couldn’t quite figure out what this feeling was.

He must be a student, surely. Otherwise, why would he feel such fondness for the place?

He didn’t think Snape would reply, and was surprised to hear, barely audible, “I always thought as much.”

They arrived at a wrought iron gate with winged boars on either side—(really living up to the name, Tom supposed. All they needed was a decent amount of warts on them). Once they had passed through it, Snape stopped abruptly and held out his arm. It seemed he was expecting Tom to take it.

Tom wasn’t quite sure why he ought to do this, (and was rather offput by the thought of touching this man). Still, he did as he was told and—

He felt like he was being pigeonholed through a pipe. When the journey ended he was in an entirely new location, and wasn’t entirely sure he wouldn’t feel sick.

"Apparating for the first time can often make one feel unwell,” Snape informed the doubled-over Tom in a way that didn’t signify he really cared.

As Tom regained his bearings, he thought for a moment, in the same way he quite liked the walk along the grounds, he probably would have rather enjoyed traveling across the countryside. It struck him, that, while this sort of travel certainly got the job done, if wizards had a type of travel more like flying; allowing one to see the view, but also get where they needed to go quickly, he would like to learn it.

The new location, however, was far drearier and less pleasing to the eyes. Rather than an enchanting (and probably enchanted) forest, bordering sunny grounds, and a castle whose majesty was unmatched (at least in his current memory), this was a grimy, cobbled street, like a dull pencil: grey, disappointing, and without its sharpness.

He was almost certain the place was non-magical in nature. He couldn’t believe anyone magical would allow their cities to collect this much grime and…boringness. Identical brick townhouses lined those streets, their chimneys spewing smoke into the air, causing a low cloud of what could be either smog or fog to hang over the place, making the air warmer and more humid than necessary. Snape’s house was the last in the row, (at least, he assumed it was Snape’s as it was the one they were heading towards), and across from it he could see a black river winding through the mist.

Snape flicked his wand, unlocking what was presumably his front door.

Often houses have a certain, indefinable smell to them, but when Tom stepped inside this one, he found it wasn’t so indefinable: parchment, and old shoes, and maybe a little bit of neglect.

He could have fooled himself into thinking he’d walked into a bookstore. The walls were lined with books, the sofa and armchair in the corner creating a false sense of coziness—(‘false’ because nothing about this man said ‘cozy’). It had the air of being one of those spaces that is cluttered, but to call it anything but ‘neat’ would be an insult. Like a library of a devout scholar: cluttered with knowledge, yet, despite the fact that the shelves are puking pages, it all seems somehow perfectly in place.

“Make yourself comfortable,” Snape said in a tone that told him he didn’t want him to be comfortable at all. “Take care not to touch anything that isn’t yours.”

Tom’s eyes lidded. “So…don’t touch anything at all?”

“You’re catching on.” Snape smirked.

Tom rolled his eyes, not entirely sure Snape was joking.

“I’ll show you to your room.”

The words ‘your room’ were clipped, like the thought that it would belong to him for even a summer was repulsive. Though Tom could tell that before they arrived.

He opened a small door in the wall, which Tom would have thought another room, or perhaps a closet, but turned out to be a set of stairs.

After journeying up them, a hallway whose wood was in dire need of staining, dusty portraits whose stern eyes followed him as he walked by, and a decorative table with an empty vase upon it, greeted him.

The advertised room was small, and a bit stuffy, and a few of the floorboards creaked, but something told him he’d slept in worse conditions before.

Though it was a small house, they were able to keep to themselves. Snape was busy resettling into his house, and disinclined to give him a tour, and Tom, not having much to get settled in the first place, spent the time exploring his new surroundings.

He wandered around the library that was the downstairs, and the dingy hallways that were the upstairs. He took care not to enter what he assumed to be Snape’s room, as well as a few other locked rooms. He didn’t want to get on his bad side…if he even had a good side.

He quickly found he didn’t mind being around books. He had affinity for them, especially when their contents had to do with magic.

“Are these all about magic?” He asked Snape when he passed by.

“Some of them. It may surprise you to find most of them aren’t.”

“May I read them?” He asked, remembering Snape’s warning not to touch anything, as well as the fact that this was a ‘trial period.’

“If you cannot find ways to entertain yourself.”

“I’m sure I can. But you seem like the kind of man who appreciates silence.” He put his hands behind his back and smiled too pleasantly.

Snape pursed his lip.

They spent their time regarding each other as wolves encroaching on each others territories: they weren’t happy to be sharing the same space, but they couldn’t do anything but growl low until one of them made a move.

Later, when Snape made dinner, the action drew his attention from his book. Tom watched with fascination as Snape waved his wand with ease, and the ingredients floated and melded together of their own accord, like Snape’s wand knew what to say to them.

“Will I be able to do that?”

“A whole world of magic and you want to be able to make dinner?”

“Well—” Annoyance flared in Tom. “Of course I’d prefer to know much more exciting, dangerous things…but yes”

“Children are not allowed to use magic outside of school until they come of age…but, yes.”

The word ‘children’ in that condescending tone didn’t make him feel less annoyed.

“How come I’m able to do it, then? You’re able to teach me during the summer.”

“Dumbledore has his ways.”

Tom could tell he wouldn’t get any more information than that.

While they ate, Tom chanced a few more questions, and was surprised to find that it tasted quite good, and he thought he remembered someone once telling him good food does wonders for the soul.

He was glad to find that, despite Snape’s obvious distaste for him, and seemingly all things his age, he was cordial enough, and he certainly didn’t mind keeping to himself.

Tom was just thinking about asking when he’d start learning magic that evening, when a stack of books almost as tall as him landed on the table.

Flicking his eyes across the titles, he saw that each and every one of them something to do with magic.

“I expect you to have these read before before Potter arrives. Only then will I start teaching you magic.”

Tom leaned to the side to look at Snape and tried not to smirk.

“You sure this is everything? It doesn’t seem like quite enough.”

[sugachaes]

Blue Hour

A/N: Soooo this is like... the first fanfic I’ve ever written lol, I don’t usually write stuff like this, but it was fun! I should have more coming at some point in the future, but for now, here’s what I’ve got! My other socials are in my bio if you wanna see more of my work!

This fic has been cross posted to AO3 here.

Word count: 10k+

Content: Mutual pining, some light smut?, childhood friends to lovers, some angst, Jimin is either the best or worst life coach, no one is sure which, Hoseok is always drunk but I think he’s neat, Jungkook and Taehyung share one brain cell but it’s shaped like a heart, Shownu best boy 

Jungkook is running late.

He’s rushing to exit his dorm building, not even waiting for the elevator to make it to his floor, rushing down the stairs in hopes that it’ll take less time. In his haste, he still manages to have time to regret choosing the top floor of the four story building.

Upon exiting the building, Jungkook takes off in the direction of his lecture, thanking his lucky stars it isn’t too far away from where he lives. He weaves his way through other students, trying to cause as little damage while also moving as fast as he can.

At last, he’s made it to the right building, bursting through the first door he sees and hoping he’s in the right place.

When he enters, the class has gone quiet, all eyes turned in the direction of the disturbance. The professor, after giving him a quick once over, decides to let the interruption slide and continue her presentation.

Jungkook makes his way through the lecture hall, hoping his seat hasn’t been taken by someone who was actually on time for the class. He breathes a sigh of relief when he sees that no one has taken his beloved spot from him, and plants himself there before moving to pull out his materials.

“Dude, what happened to you? I don’t think you’ve ever been late for anything.”

Jungkook looks up and meets the eyes of his best friend, Taehyung. The two of them go way back, all the way back to middle school when Jungkook had moved from his small town to the big city. After watching the boy desperately try to find a place in a school that was much larger than what he was used to, his constant confusion attracting stares from already established students, Taehyung decided he would help this clueless stranger for as long as he could.

“I must’ve forgotten to set my alarm last night,” Jungkook says, finally pulling out the book he was looking for.

“That’s not like you. Maybe it was a glitch?”

“Maybe.”

Taehyung turns his head to face the front of the room, having gotten the answers to all his questions. Jungkook follows suit, deciding he should at least pay attention to what was left of the class and hope he could piece the rest of it together on his own. 

Though, his eyes can’t help but drift over occasionally, stealing glances at the boy next to him.

He’s not sure when it happened, but somewhere along the way, between the late nights watching movies together, Jungkook had fallen for Taehyung. Naturally, he pushed those feelings down, afraid that they may make him act selfishly, or worse, ruin their friendship. As much as he would like for things to turn out like they do in fanfiction, where it turns out the two of them have been pining after each other the whole time, he knows better. 

So instead, he hides his feelings away, hoping that one day he’ll be able to go back to seeing Taehyung as nothing more than a friend. Though, it’s becoming harder to keep his emotions at bay lately. He finds himself relishing in Taehyung’s touch, whether he means to or not. Hugs when something goes good or bad for one of them, touches that last just a bit longer than they would for others, Jungkook takes advantage of each of those little moments.

Even though it causes him to fall deeper each time.

~

Once the lecture ends, the students begin filing out, likely off to more stress-inducing classes. As Taehyung and Jungkook are leaving the building, Taehyung decides this is the perfect opportunity to ask his friend a very important question. 

“Hey, Kook?” Jungkook turns to offer his full attention to his friend. “So there’s this party-”

“Absolutely not.” Taehyung lets out a groan.

“You didn’t even let me finish!”

“Tae, you know how I feel about parties.”

“I do! But this one will be different.”

“Last time you said that I ended up carrying you home.” Taehyung scratches the back of his head, recalling the incident himself.

“Ah, I’m a different person now!” Jungkook rolls his eyes. “Besides that was like… a year ago?”

“Four months.”

“It’s in the past!”

“Barely.”

“Please just come this one time? You only have to stay for an hour.” Jungkook stares at him. “Do it for me?” 

A sigh leaves Jungkook’s lips.

“Only for an hour.” 

~

Jungkook doesn’t even bother putting too much effort into what he’s wearing, throwing on jeans and a T-shirt and deciding it’s presentable enough.

“Good enough to get me bye for an hour,” Jungkook says, looking at himself in the mirror briefly.

As if on cue, Jungkook hears a knock at the door. He exits his room and goes to open the door, revealing a similarly dressed Taehyung. The only real difference lies in the leather jacket Taehyung has thrown over his shoulders.

“You don’t think you’re a bit underdressed?” Taehyung asks, taking in Jungkook’s work, or lack thereof.

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

“Nothing! Nothing,” Taehyung reassures him. “You look fine. Let’s go.”

The two of them head out, deciding to walk to the party given that it’s relatively close to their campus. As they grow closer to their destination, they can already hear the faint sound of music in the distance. They follow the sound until they arrive at the source of the music. 

The house, no, the estate, that the party is taking place in is practically vibrating on its foundation as the bass flows through it and out into the air. There’s a few people loitering outside, the smell of cigarette smoke and alcohol wafting through the air. Someone is already passed out on the lawn. They likely won’t remember anything once they wake up. Taehyung takes a big inhale.

“I love the smell of regret in the evening.” He turns around to look at Jungkook, who already looks visibly sick as he takes in his surroundings. “Hey, are you good?” Jungkook appears to shake himself out of whatever stupor he’s in.

“Yeah, yeah I’m alright,” he says, moreso trying to convince himself than he is trying to convince Taehyung. “Just a little overwhelmed, that’s all.”

“Will you be alright?”

“I think so. I’ll just find a corner to hide away in.” Though he knows it’s just because he’s a good friend, Jungkook’s heart can’t help but flutter at Taehyuns’s concern for him. 

“Nah, you don’t have to do that! I’ll stay with you the whole time.” At this, Jungkook gives him an incredulous look. “I’m serious! I want you to have fun, too.” Jungkook considers his words for a moment.

“If you disappear on me you’re buying me lunch for a week.”

“Deal.”

~

The party is well underway when Taehyung and Jungkook walk in. Bass coming from the speakers pulsates throughout the house. There’s a crowd of people on the dance floor, some swaying to the beat, others moving wildly. It’s not hard to tell who only has a slight buzz and who’s clearly overdoing it. Jungkook expects to see more people scattered across the lawn by the end of the night. As his eyes continue to sweep over the crowd, taking note of the guy currently hunched over and about to let loose every toxic brew he’d ingested hours prior, he hears a call of his name.

Following the direction of the sound, he turns his head and is met with the sight of a (very drunk) Hoseok.

Hoseok was one of the first people Jungkook had befriended when he first started attending school. When Jungkook had joined the campus dance team, Hoseok had welcomed him with open arms and a warm, inviting smile.

“What are you doing here?” Hoseok slurs slightly. “I thought you didn’t like coming to these things.”

“I don’t,” Jungkook confirms. “I’m here against my will.”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic!” Taehyung chimes in. He turns his attention to Hoseok. “I knew he’d just hole himself up in his room all night, so I dragged him out for some fresh air.”

“Calling this air fresh is a little misleading, don’t you think?”

“Ah, it’s really not that bad!” Hoseok says. “This is pretty tame compared to other parties here.” Hoseok stumbles a bit, and Jungkook reaches out to steady him.

“How much have you had to drink?”

“Dunno. Stopped counting after four, though.”

“Aren’t you a bit of a light weight?”

“I don’t appreciate being interrogated like this.” Hoseok begins to walk away. “I’m off to get another drink!”

Jungkook watches his friend drunkenly stumble away, presumably to get even more wasted than he already is. He briefly worries if he’ll get home safely, but Hoseok’s done this before, he’ll be fine.

“Whose house is this, anyway?” Jungkook asks, taking in the valuable looking artwork displayed on the walls.

“Kim Seokjin’s.” Jungkook gives him a confused look. “Richest guy on campus. Only met him a couple times, he’s cool.”

Jungkook looks around again.

“I’m only staying for an hour.” Jungkook reminds himself. “I can last that long.”

“You’ll be fine,” Taehyung reassures him. “Come on, I’ll introduce you to my friends.” he takes Jungkook’s hand and drags him further into the party. Jungkook’s lips can’t help but turn upwards in a small smile at the gesture. 

Much to his surprise, Jungkook finds himself getting along with Taehyung’s friends. They seem to be much more outgoing people compared to himself, specifically Taehyung’s friend Jimin. He’s seen Jimin around a couple times, but never talked to him, the two of them existing in different social circles. It seems that a lot of time has passed since the two of them began talking, when really it’s only been about twenty minutes. 

Jimin is in the middle of a story, dramatically waving his hands around to add to the narrative, when a song that some of the group, including Taehyung, recognize. They’re quick to rush to the dance floor, not wanting to be seated during what is apparantly the most well known song to most of the partygoers. Jungkook supposes he can let this one slide.

It’s when one song shifts into another, and then another, that Jungkook becomes nervous. He’s in a strange house surrounded by people he doesn’t know, all of which are a different level of inebreiated. He decides to look around for his friend, ready to remind him that he’ll now be feeding him for a week.

It doesn’t take long for him to locate Taehyung. He’s still on the dance floor, though he now has a drink in hand. He moves to get his attention when he notes that he isn’t dancing alone. 

He’s not sure who the guy is, he’s never seen him before right now. He just knows the way he runs his hands along Taehyung’s body, the way they sway sensually to the song currently playing, is making him sick to his stomach. 

He finds himself running to the door, hoping that Taehyung didn’t see him standing there, intruding on the moment he was sharing with this stranger. The longer he stays, the harder he finds it to breathe. He eventually makes it out onto the front porch, catching his breath as if he’s just completed a marathon. Once he calms down, he begins his walk back to the dorm, unable to get the images out of his mind. He checks the time. 10:47 pm.

He didn’t even make it the full hour.

~

Like Jungkook often does when he’s upset, he holes himself up in his room. He spends the entirety of the next day hunched over his computer, completing assignments before he turns to video games to ease his mind. While in the middle of a particularly tough fight, his phone dings. He groans before pausing, picking up the device to see who could possibly be disturbing him.

He visibly deflates when he sees that it’s Taehyung.

Not long after he left the party last night, he had seen a flurry of messages sent from the man in question. He elected to ignore them, deciding he had been through enough for one night. Now, though, he feels that he should at least let him know he’s okay and that he made it home safely. Sighing, he opens the text thread.

Tae Tae: Whered u go

Tae Tae: I thought i saw u

Great. So Jungkook’s staring didn’t go unnoticed. He drags a hand down his face before he continues reading. 

Tae Tae: Were u not having fun

Tae Tae: m sorry

Tae Tae: :(

Jungkook finds his resolve cracking, if only a little. That is, until he reads the next message.

Tae Tae: I wanted u to neet someone

Well, this confirms everything he needed to know. His feelings were completely one sided. All the moments he worried he was reading too far into were just that, his own hopes being projected on to his friends. With his heart now heavier than it’s ever been, he finally reads the most recent message, though it barely registers in his mind.

Tae Tae: Hey, I’m sorry I left you alone last night. Time kind of got away from me, but I wanna make it up to you. Please let me know that you’re safe.

Jungkook finally responds, a half hearted “I’m okay,” and shuts his phone off immediately, not wanting to hear Taehyung’s apologetic messages that likely came in after.

~

It’s been days since the party, and Taehyung is beginning to worry. 

He knows he messed up. He knows he promised Jungkook that he wouldn’t leave him alone for too long, but he ultimately wasn’t able to keep that promise. No, it’s not that he wasn’t able to, but rather he didn’t. 

He told himself he’d return to Jungkook’s side after one song. That one song turned into him grabbing a drink, and ending up back on the dance floor with his friends. One more song, one more drink, one more song, one more drink, he cycled through these until an hour had passed since he left. He thought at one point he’d seen Jungkook, watching him in real time as he failed in doing the one thing he promised to do. He thinks now that it was likely just his imagination, his mind’s way of making him feel guilty. 

He feels that he’s missed an opportunity. He wasn’t lying about wanting Jungkook to have a fun night out, that much is true. He’s always tried to push Jungkook out of his comfort zone from time to time. The other reason, the one he planned on surprising Jerry with, was introducing him to the guy he’d been seeing. He’d been friends with Shownu for about a year now, and they’d just recently decided if they wanted to explore being something more. 

He thought this would be as good an opportunity as any to introduce the two of them, but he’d gotten carried away, and now Jungkook wasn’t speaking to him.

He felt a bit better knowing that Jungkook had made it home safely, but the coldness in his answer told him that he wasn’t out of the woods just yet. He’d really messed up this time.

Jungkook wasn’t only not speaking to him, he was even avoiding him.

He knows that Jungkook has been going to his other classes, if Jimin’s word is to be trusted, but for some reason he’s been absent in their one shared class. He’s likely been asking to be sent any work that he’s missed, being one of the proffesor’s favorite students. It’s unlike him to stay upset for this long. Soemthing must’ve happened before he decided to leave. 

He decides that today, he’ll go and apologize in person. Somtehing he probably should’ve done in the first place.

He visits Jungkook’s dorm on a Wednesday afternoon, knowing that he’s in between classes right now and likely taking a nap. He makes his way through the small lobby and to the elevator, and suddenly he finds himself getting nervous. What happens if Jungkook doesn’t answer the door? Or worse, what if he does answer the door, but tells Taehyung he wants nothing to do with him? Or what if he knocks on his door and it creaks open slightly revealing Jungkook’s lifeless body and he gets framed for his murder only to suddenly be transported back in time-

Taehyung shakes his head. That’s the first episode of Erased. He’s spiralling.

The elevator dings, signalling that it’s almost time to either get his friend back or become the protagonist of an anime.

He should really finish Erased. 

He makes his way to the dorm, operating purely on muscle memory after having been here so many times. When he arrives, he doesn’t bother hesitating, knowing he’ll think too hard and talk himself out of doing this, as he often does. He hears shuffling on the other side of the door, and suddenly, it swings open. 

Taehyung doesn’t think he’s ever seen Jungkook in such a disheveled state.

His hair sticks out all over his head, he’s got on sweatpants and a hoodie, covered in wrinkles and mismatched. If Taehyung looks close enough, he can see a slight red tint to the skin around Jungkook’s eyes, signifying he’s been crying. 

Taehyung  feels something within him stir at the sight, but he ignores it.

Jungkook’s eyes are directed at the floor when the door first swings open, and when he looks up to meet Taehyung’s eyes, his own widen in disbelief. 

They stand there in awkward silence for a few brief moments, not sure how to approach each other after how their last encounter had gone. Jungkook sighs, a tired, sad sound.

“Why don’t you come in?”

~

Jungkook is at a loss for words.

He was fast asleep when he’d heard the knock at the door, the sound waking him from his restless slumber. He drags himself out of bed, tossing on the first hoodie he sees lying in a crumpled heap on the floor, and tosses it on.

Nothing could have prepared him for when he opened the door. 

Taehyung looks like he usually does, sweats and a hoodie with hair that was perfectly tossed. “People like the effortless look,” Taehyung had explained one day. He thinks he understands what he meant now. 

After the two of them stand there akwardly, not sure where to go from here, Jungkook decides to invite him in. He decides if they’re going to stare at each other and say nothing, he’d prefer to do so within the comfort of his dorm.

Taehyung seems to look around the room, likely taking note of the mess that Jungkook currently resides in. A wave of insecurity washes over Jungkook at this.

“I wasn’t really expecting company,” Jungkook explains weakly.

“I didn’t think so,” Taehyung says. “I’m sorry I showed up unannounced like this. You’ve kind of been…”

“Avoiding you?”

“Yeah.”

A beat of silence goes by before Taehyung speaks again.

“Look, I know I said I wouldn’t need to-”

“It’s okay.” Taehyung pauses, confused.

“You didn’t even let me finish.”

“I don’t need to. I’ve already forgiven you.”

“Then why-”

“I just needed space, that’s all.”

“So you’re not mad anymore?”

“Nope.”

“Promise?

“Yup.”

“Does this mean I don’t still have to buy you food?”

“Oh, no. You’re still buying me food.” The two of them share a laugh. The air feels much lighter than when Taehyung first arrived here. 

Truth be told, Jungkook had forgiven Taehyung as soon as he opened the door. He’d started to feel bad about ghosting his friend, knowing that he would worry. He felt even wrose knowing that it wasn’t really Taehyung leaving him that had made him so upset, but rather his own feelings that were getting in the way. 

If putting his own feelings aside would ultimately make Taehyung happy, then that’s just something he would have to do. 

Taehyung coaxes Jungkook out of his dorm with the promise of greasy food from the campus diner, and he happily accepts.

~

A week has gone by since the two of them made up.

It hasn’t been mentioned yet, but Jungkook has a feeling that Taehyung will ask to introduce him to that other guy again. He knows it’ll happen eventually, and despite his dread, he just wishes Taehyung would ask so he can get it over with.

The two of them are at Taehyung’s apartment, claiming to be “studying” when in reality this was just an excuse for them to lounge around and watch reruns of Hell’s Kitchen. It’s when Taehyung keeps glancing over at Jungkook thinking he’s being subtle that he knows something is up. He grabs the remote and pauses, just as Chef Ramsay has finished calling someone a panini head.

“Okay, you’ve been watching me like you’re waiting for me to explode.” Taehyung chuckles, having been caught.

“Alright, you got me. You are so observant, you know that?”

“You’re stalling.”

“I would never!” Taehyung puts his hand over his heart, feigning offense.

“Please just spit it out already, you're making me nervous.”

“Fine, fine.” Taehyung takes a deep breath. “I want you to come to a bar with me this weekend.” Jungkook opens his mouth to speak, but Taehyung cuts him off. “Before you argue! I’ve been to the place before, it’s really chill. It’s like a grill and bar place. Not a lot of people go there, so don’t worry about crowds. It’s totally fine-”

“Now you’re rambling.”

“Sorry, sorry. I just really wanted you to be comfortable.”

It’s a sweet gesture, and Jungkook’s heart flutters against his will. He does his best to ignore it. He pretends to think for a bit about Taehyung’s proposal.

“You promise we’re not gonna get there and immediately be met with a huge crowd like we’re in some old tv show?” Taehyung lights up.

“I’ll see what I can do!”

“Then I’ll be there.” At this, Taehyung lets out a sigh of relief.

“I was worried you’d say no for a second.” Jungkook picks up the remote and resumes the show. “I think you and Shownu will really get along.”

Jungkook freezes. He’d never heard the other guy’s name before. Now, reality is starting to set in. This is real. He’s meeting the guy that’s in the place he’s wanted to be in for such a long time.

He has a feeling he and Shownu will not, in fact, get along.

~

Jungkook doesn’t ever think he’s taken longer to get ready for something in his life.

He’s still going to go, of course. He wouldn’t just stand his friend up after he did everything he could to accomodate him and his mildly crippling anxiety. He just wouldn’t pretend to be enthusiastic about it. At least, not until he had to. 

He decides that this time he’ll follow Taehyung’s advice, throwing a leather jacket on to add to his otherwise plain outfit. He doesn’t know why he does it, maybe just to keep himself grounded, but he finds it comforting in a way. Like when he was a kid and he believed hiding under the blankets would protect him from whatever creatures may be lurking in the night.

Only this time the creatures are his stupid feelings. His stupid feelings which won’t go away no matter how many blankets he piles onto himself to burrow away from them. 

The universe decides to break him out of the rabbit hole of overthinking he finds himself peering over the edge of, as there’s a knock on the door. 

He opens the door and comes face to face with Taehyung once again. He manages to find humor in his current situation, the similarities to the diasastrous night that began all of his inner turmoil uncanny.

“I see you decided to take my advice,” Taehyung remarks, looking at his leather jacket. “It looks good.” Jungkook offers him a small smile.

“We should go before the crowd gets there,” Jungkook teases.

“There won’t be a crowd!” Taehyung says, exasperated. “You keep talking about them and you’re gonna jinx it.”

“If it means I get more free food, I think I’ll manage.” Taehyung playfully shoves him, and the two of them head off.

~

The bar doesn’t seem particularly busy tonight, much to Jungkook’s delight.

There’s a decent amount of cars, but given that it’s a Saturday night it could be much worse. 

Entering the bar, it’s clear to see that this place is much different compared to the other bars Jungkook has been dragged to over the years. There’s tables and booths scattered arund the building, along with an actual bar for the people who would prefer the more traditional experience. There’s music flowing through the speakers, much lower in volume compared to the likely heavily packed clubs spread around the city, but still loud enough that the lyrics can be heard. The smell of food floats through the air from the kitchen in the back, the enticing scent having Jungkook almost floating in the air like he’s in a cartoon. There’s a few groups of people sitting at the tables and bars, chatting away, others on the small dance floor.

“This is the nicest place you’ve ever taken me to,” Jungkook says as the two of them make their way to an empty booth. “Are you sure we’re allowed in here?” Taehyung chuckles.

“Oh don’t be like that, the other places weren’t even that bad!” Jungkook raises an eyebrow at him. “Okay, they were bad, but I can go to nice places too!”

“A broken clock is right two times a day, I suppose.” Taehyung ignores Jungkook’s thinly veiled insult.

“I invited Jimin to join us as well since you two seemed to get along.”

“For what?”

“I just…” Taehyung trails off for a second. “I didn’t want you to be a tird wheel.”

“Oh. Right.” 

Jungkook hadn’t even considered that before agreeing to come. He’s glad he’ll have at least someone else to focus on to keep him from curling in on himself entirely.

As if on cue, Taehyung spots the two in question and, in an extremely embarrassing fashion for anyone else, waves both his arms at them to catch their attention. Jungkook hides his face, hoping that no one other than the two people now coming over, if Taehyung’s satisfied smile is anything to go by, will recognize him.

“Sorry we’re so late! Lots of traffic tonight,” a voice that Jungkook recognizes as Jimin says. Jungkook looks up to greet him, when his eyes drift over to who he assumes is Shownu.

The first thing Jungkook notices about Shownu is that he’s significantly more built than what he was expecting. The second thing he ntoices is that Shownu could easily drop out of college and pursue a modeling career. This is possibly the most beautiful man Jungkook has ever seen, and he finds himself fixing his hair because of it.

Jungkook has already decided that Shownu is his mortal enemy.

~

The animosity doesn’t last as long as Jungkook would have liked.

Shownu is funny, well put together, and just an all around nice guy. He does his best to include them all in conversation, and even offered to pay for the first round of drinks. 

He’s almost distracted, not expecting to actually enjoy himself tonight, until Shownu plants a kiss on Taehyung’s cheek while Jimin tells a story. He feels his stomach start to turn at the sight, but he does his best to ignore it, not wanting to to ruin everyone’s mood with his jealousy.  

The night goes on, the increasing alcohol in his system making Taehyung more and more affectionate as time passes. He’s leaning on Shownu more now, the latter seeming to enjoy the attention while also signalling to the waitor to serve Taehyung water in place of alcohol. 

Jungkook sighs. He really can’t bring himself to dislike the guy. 

Taehyung decides that he wants to dance, so he drags Shownu away and begins leading him to the dance floor, a few other couples having moved that way as hell.

Once the two of them leave, Jungkook lets out a breath, now feeling like he can breathe while the two of them are off being all over each other in a place outside of his field of vision. 

“So how long have you had feelings for Tae?” Jimin asks casually, taking a sip of his wine as if he’d just made a remark about the weather. Jungkook is, understandably, caught off guard. He does his best to maintain his composure. 

“What are you talking about?” Jungkook says after what felt like way too long to be an honest answer.

“Dude, you can drop the act. I won’t tell anyone,” Jimin says. “Though I’m surprised you haven’t told on yourself just yet. You’ve been trying to stare daggers at Shownu since we got here.”

“Trying?”

“Yes. And failing. Because you don’t even hate Shownu, you barely know him. You’re just jealous he’s in the position you wish you were.” Jungkook sighs.

“Y’know, I didn’t come out tonight to be read like this,” He says with a chuckle.

“It’s part of my charm. Consider me your traumatizing life coach.”

“Did you steal that from a TikTok?”

“Hey, I’m the one doing the reading here.” The two of them share a laugh. “But between you and me,” Jimin starts, suddenly sounding serious, “I don’t think their relationship will really go anywhere.” Jungkook’s interest has peaked now, and he turns to face Jimin fully.

“What makes you say that?”

“Can’t say. I’m sworn to secrecy.” Jimin thinks for a moment. “Besides, it’s best you don’t hear it from me. It would probably cause chaos otherwise.”

“You’re beginning to worry me.”

“Also part of my charm.”

“Is Shownu like…. A murderer or something?” Jimin shakes his head, an amused smile gracing his features. “A bank robber? A secret agent?” Jungkook goes silent for a moment, and then gasps. “Is the government after him for committing tax faud?” Jimin begins to laugh.

“Nah, nothing as interesting as any of those.” Jimin says, and then leans in. “He’s an alien.” When Jungkook’s eyes widen, Jimin laughs again. “I’m kidding! Just kidding. He’s just a normal guy.”

“Should I just move on then?” Jungkook asks, his cheerful demeanor starting to fade away.

“That’s up to you to decide,” Jimin says. “But.. don’t lose hope just yet. That’s all I can tell you.” Jungkook sighs for the umpteenth time tonight. “Come on, I’ll take you home.”

“But what about-”

“They’ll be fine. They probably won’t even notice we’re gone.”

The two of them wave a passing waitress over to pay their tab, and head out the door.

The drive is quiet, save for the soft melody coming from the radio. They arrive at Jungkook’s dorm and, though the end of the night left him confused, he still had a good time. He thinks he and Jimin will be really good friends one day. When he opens the dorm of the car, he turns to face Jimin.

“Hey, um,” Jungkook starts, “thanks for talking to me.”

 “Ah, no problem,” Jimin insists. “I’ll see you around, yeah?” Jungkook nods before stepping out of the car and heading to the dorm, thoughts floating through his head as he tries to figure out what Jimin knows about Shownu and Taehyung’s relationship that he doesn’t.

Unbeknownst to Jimin and Jungkook, Taehyung did, in fact, notice that the two of them had left together, if the tears that flowed so freely were anything to go by.

~

The next week, classes are cancelled, most buildings on campus are closed, save for the necessities like the dorms and dining hall, and people all over campus have either gone home or decided to hibernate in their dorms.

There’s a winter storm coming.

The snowfall predicted is said to be a few feet at least, and the roads will be iced over. Campus slowly becomes a ghost town, with no one wanting to be trapped in their tiny dorms under these conditions. 

Jungkook opts to stay put where he is. He likes the idea of there being significantly less people around, snow falling and turning the once boring school into a winter wonderland. It reminds him of when he was a kid, and he would get to stay home and play in the snow, until his mom would call him inside, worried he would get sick. 

He’s in the middle of a game now, deciding today was a good day to do the most challenging levels of Super Mario Maker he could find, when he hears his phone ding on his bed. The noise distracts him, causing him to fall into an awaiting pit of lava, the sound signalling his character’s demise mocking him. 

He turns around to grab the device, lighting the screen up and revealing a text from Taehyung.

Tae Tae: Wanna go get lunch?

Jungkook is about to type out his response when another message comes through.

Tae Tae: You’re never gonna beat that level

Tae Tae: Too many trick moves

Jungkook is almost shocked that Taehyung knows what he’s up to, before remembering he’d been struggling with this particular level for weeks now and had made that fact very known. He begins typing out his response.

Kook: I’ll have you know I’m an expert gamer

Kook: Where we meeting up?

They end up going to the same diner they went to just last week, having already formed an addiction for the unhealthy food they have to offer.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen this much snow in my life,” Taehyung says after they’ve placed their orders.

“Me either. Normally I like the cold but I think even I have my limits.” Taehyung laughs.

“Man, we’re getting old huh? We’re sitting here talking about the weather. I thought we had at least another ten years before we got to this point.” It’s Jungkook’s turn to laugh now.

“Only ten?”

“Maybe not. I did just have to drag you away from a video game.”

“There’s no age limit on video games!” 

“Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard this rant before.” 

“You keep calling me out and you’ll hear it again.” The two share a laugh. 

“Do you ever miss being a kid?” Taehyung asks, suddenly sounds serious.

“Who wouldn’t? I didn’t even know student debt existed when I was a kid, now look at me drowning in it.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Taehyung says, then pauses. “But what about like, I dunno, feelings and stuff?” This catches Jungkook’s attention.

“What like, hormones and stuff?” Taehyung chuckles.

“Kind of. Like, the only emotions we understood as kids were like anger and sadness and sadness. But not even like, fully either.”

“I think I get what you mean. When did things get so complicated?”

“Exactly. Everything used to be so simple.”

The two of them sit in silence for a moment. Neither of them usually discuss things like this with each other. Something has shifted between the two of them, thought what that shift might be, neither is sure. This is new territory for them, so neither is sure how to go about such a seemingly sudden change.

“Y’know,” Taehyung starts, “even with everything that’s changed, I’m glad you’ve stuck with me throughout all of it.”

“Of course I did,” Jungkook responds immediately. “How could I not after you were pretty much my guide throughout middle school?”

“You were wandering the halls looking for your next class for three days! I couldn’t just leave you hanging like that.”

“I totally could’ve managed.”

“And you’re also totally gonna beat that level you’ve been struggling with.”

“I was close!” Jungkook says, dramatically slamming his hands on the table. “I was so close, but then you dragged me away.”

“Oh sure, blame your lack of skills on me.”

The two of them continue to banter and bicker with each other, and things feel like they always did between the two of them. When their food arrives, they immediately begin trying to catch the food in their mouths, tossing it to each other and keeping score, and it feels like they’re back in middle school.

It feels like everything is simple again.

~

Once the two of them leave the diner, having filled themselves with unhealthy food that they’ll definitely regret later, they begin the trek back to Jungkook’s dorm. On the way, they pass by the school’s fountain at the center of campus. It’s frozen over now, coins that students tossed in for good luck rest at the bottom of the ice. 

“Think we could break this and make some money?” Taehyung asks.

“It’s probably mostly pennies. Would it even be worth all the trouble?” Jungkook responds, looking into the fountain and examining the copper toned coins frozen in place. 

“Where’s your sense of adventure?” Taehyung is turned away from Jungkook now, but goes unnoticed as Jungkook continues his search. He spots an old band aid among the coins, scrunching his nose in disgust.

“The same place the coins are.” He looks up and sees Taehyung is facing away from him, but thinks nothing of it. “Your ideas of adventure usually end with us getting in trouble anyway. You’d be in jail by now if it weren’t for-”

Jungkook is cut off when a snowball is hurled at him, hitting the side of his face. He looks up immediately, meeting the mischievous eyes of his best friend. 

“What? Too mature for a snowball fight?”

“You don’t know what you’ve done.”

Jungkook scoops up snow and begins forming it in no time, and Taehyung’s eyes widen in fear. 

It’s not long before a war has broken out in the quad. They throw what feels like hundreds of snowballs between the two of them, laughing and screaming with delight as they do so. Eventually, the two of them tired themselves out, lying next to each other and laughing, the absurdity of their impromptu snowball fight finally setting in.

“We haven’t hung out like this in such a long time,” Jungkook says through giggles.

“Yea, it’s been so long. I’ve missed you over the past week,” Taehyung agrees.

“I’ve missed you, too.” Jungkook says. The next part, he lets slip out on accident, lowering his voice so that Taehyung can’t hear him. “I love you.’

He didn’t lower it enough.

“What’d you just say?”

Jungkook’s stomach drops. He couldn’t have heard him. He didn’t.

“I just said I missed you.”

“No, no. You said something after that.” 

“I think you’re just hearing things. Did you get snow in your ears?”

“Jungkook.”

“I have to go.”

Jungkook stands from his spot and adjusts his jacket. Before he can make his escape and regret every life choice that brought him to this moment, he feels a tug on his arm.

“Say it again.”

“No. Please let me go.” He refuses to turn around and face Taehyung, and something in his chest aches at the realization.

“Don’t leave.” Jungkook says nothing, but he doesn’t move to get away either. 

“I need to go.”

“You don’t.”

“Yes I do!” Jungkook yells, catching both of them off guard. “I can’t be around you. Not when I’ve felt like this for years.” Jungkook finally turns to face Taehyung, tears streaking down his face. “Not when I’m watching you fall for someone else. Someone who isn’t me.” 

Taehyung finds his hold on Jungkook’s arm is weakening, and he lets Jungkook walk away. 

Jungkook starts back on his way to his dorm, moving quickly, hoping that the faster he got to his drm the faster the embarrassment he felt would disappear. Taehyung’s touch, he found, burned against his skin, completely different from the gentle warmth he’d grown accustomed to. Taehyung would go to Shownu, and after some time, he’d forget about Jungkook. That’s what he believed.

He would never know that Taehyung stayed frozen in place as he watched Jungkook’s retreating form, tears of his own staining his face.

~

Taehyung has lost track of how long it’s been since that fateful day in the snow.

A few days? A week? Two weeks? He’s honestly not sure anymore. 

Jungkook’s confession had woken up so many things in him at once. Sadness upon realizing that his friend has been holding onto those feelings fornsuch a long time. Guilt knowing that he’d essentially been flaunting his new relationship in his face, blatantly letting his friend know that he wasn’t interested in the most callous way he could do so. The worst part, though?

It had brought back old feelings he’d thought he had moved on from.

There was a time where Taehyung was certain that he and Jungkook would end up together at some point. The two of them were inseperable from the time they first became friends to a few weeks ago. It always made sense to him that they would get together and stay that way for a long time. 

But things didn’t work out that way.

Taehyung had taken Jungkook’s shyness about the subject of them as a silent rejection. As a result, he’d told himself he had to move on from him, and for a while, he did. That is, until they’d started college together. 

Once their environment had changed, Taehyung had noticed a change in Jungkook..

He was still averse to parties, that was still the same. But he’d grown more confident in himself. He’d been exploring different hobbies, started getting tattoos like he always talked about doing, he’d even joined a few clubs. Even with his newfound confidence, he was still the same boy that Taehyung had helped create a place for when they were kids. 

Against his better judgement, Taehyung found himself falling for him again. 

He thought that now, since he’d grown as a person, surely now he would confess his feelings. But the confession never came, and Taehyung had to once again push his feelings away. This is when Shownu came in. 

Originally, they were just friends with benefits. No strings attached, they had agreed. They got along quite well, and that was all there was to it.

But Taehyung’s feelings for Jungkook still lingered, and he decided he needed to take it a step further.

He was thankful that Shownu had been okay with getting to know each other outside of the bedroom. Eventually, the guilt of using Shownu for his own reasons had started to eat away at him. He was leading someone else on but he couldn’t stop himself from doing it.

But when he’d noticed that Jungkook and Jimin left together that night at the bar, the dam broke. 

That night, he’d told Shownu everything. The years of pining that had resulted in nothing, the reason he’d started their arrangement, everything, and Shownu had been nothing but understanding. 

So here he was now. Cooped up in his room, sittting with the fact that he’d been casuing his friend so much strife, all because of his own selfishness. Even now knowing Jungkook’s feelings, he fears that he’s messed up too many times for them to ever have something more than they already do.

He’s in the midst of wallowing in self pity when he hears a knock at the door.

“It’s open,” he says, refusing to leave from the cocoon of blankets he’s buried himself in.

The door creaks open slowly, and Jimin walks in, rattling a bag of food like someone would do for their pet cat.

“I’ve got a piping hot bag of bad decisions with me,” Jimin says, approaching the vaguely human shaped pile he believes is his friend. Taehyung grumbles in response. “Still havent’ heard from Jungkook?”

“No.”

“You gonna reach out to him?’

“No.”

“You gonna stay in here and watch Bob Ross painting videos instead of facing your fears head on?” 

“Yup.” Jimin sighs.

“You two are very similar, you know that?” Taehyung says nothing. “You guys really need to talk about… whatever it is you’ve got going on. That’s the main problem here.”

“What good will that do?” Taehyung asks, irritation present in his voice. “He probably hates me. And I don’t even blame him.” 

“Well, at least we’ve crossed that bar.” Taehyung glares at him. “You’re not the only one at fault here, though. He bottles his feelings up as much as you do.” 

“So what am I supposed to do, Jimin?” a sniffle. “I don’t know what to do anymore.’

Jimin’s heart aches at the pain in Taehyung’s voice. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen the younger boy so distraught. He moves to comfort him, placing a hand on Taehyung’s back to try to calm him down, if even a little. 

“I’m not sure,” Jimin says. “I think right now you should be honest with him. I think at this point, all he needs is for you to tell him how you really feel.”

“Do you think it’s that easy?”

“I do.”

Taehyung considers this for a moment. If he’d been honest from the beginning, years ago even, they wouldn’t be here. He just hopes that later is better than never. 

“Okay. Then that’s what I’ll do.” Jimin smiles at him. 

“Good. Now move over, Bob Ross’ voice eases the troubles of my soul.”

“What troubles do you have?”

“Two idiots not knowing how to communicate.”

“You’re sitting on the floor.”

~

Jungkook has never felt embarrassment as intensely as he does now. 

It’s been long enough that any other person likely would’ve moved on, but this wasn’t something as simple as dropping your lunch plate in the middle of the cafeteria and having the entire room clap. Been there, done that.

He’d confessed to his best friend of several years that he’s in love with him. His best friend who he knew was seeing someone, at that. 

He’s locked himself in his dorm once again, not even bothering to distract himself. Instead, he opts to just lie in bed and think about where everything had gone wrong in his life over the past few weeks. 

Maybe he shouldn’t have let Taehyung talk him into going to that party. What if he hadn’t gone looking for Taehyung when he disappeared that night? Perhaps he shouldn’t have forgiven him so easily. He knew that last one wasn’t an option, though. He would’ve softened up eventually.

Now, things are different. He was okay with livivng with his feelings knowing that they would nver be reciprocated. He would still have Taehyung as a friend, and if he was happy, that would be enough for him, even if he wasn’t the one making him happy. 

He’s been getting a lot of texts from Hoseok recently, likely wondering why he hasn’t been showing up to practices. Jungkook takes advantage of the weather conditions, claiming to have gotten sick. Hoseok had believed him at first, but the longer time passed, the more suspicious he got. 

Jungkook has sent a couple messages in response, assuring him that everything would be okay, along with other vague promises. 

He’s not sure what to do at this point. Maybe he hopes Jimin really has been lying so he can move on properly. He wouldn’t be shocked if Shownu showed up to beat him up at some point. He supposes he deserves it. Shownu hasn’t done anything wrong, and now he’s in the middle of this mess.

While Jungkook begins to spiral from regret to guilt, there’s a knock at the door. This time, he’s a lot less willing to deal with whatever this could be.

“Go away, no one’s here,” Jungkook says halfl heartedly.

“Hmmm, alrighty then,” a voice he recognizes as Hoseok says. “I guess I’ll take my snacks and Marvel movie box set elsewhere!” Jungkook’s eyes widen.

“Fine, it’s open.” 

Hoseok walks in, a smug smile on his lips. 

“Knew that would work.” He places his bags down before taking a seat at Jungkook’s desk, turning to face him. “So what’s up with you?”

“I told you, I’m sick.”

“If you were sick you wouldn’t have let me in.”

“Maybe I’m in the mood to infect someone.”

“You also get sassier when you’re lying.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

The two of them stare at each other, waiting for the other to break. A few more seconds go by.

“If I talk can we watch Iron Man first?” Jungkook says, not enjoying the silence in the room.

“Yes.” Jungkook sighs.

“Alright.”

Jungkook tells Hoseok everything, starting from how they met in middle school all the way up to what happened that day in the quad. He tells him about all the time they spent together in high school, how they had gone to prom with a group and ended up alone together in a park from their childhoof at the end of the night. He went through the details of Taehyung getting his first apartment, and how Jungkook had spent the first night there with him. 

He talks for about an hour, and Hoseok lets him talk, not wanting to interrupt what appears to be the retelling of happy memories. Up until the current events that have him hiding out in his room, that is. 

It’s only when Jungkook finishes that Hoseok decides to speak.

“It sounds like you love him a lot,” he says.

“I do,” Jungkook says. “I really do.”

“But it also sounds like he loves you, too.”

“Okay now you’re just making up things to say.’

“No, I’m serious. If what you’ve told me really did happen then it sounds like he’s just as ass over tits in love with you as you are with him.”

“Don’t you mean head over heels?”

“I know what I said.”

“But that can’t be right. He literally invited me on a date with Shownu.”

“Are you sure that night was for Shownu? He went out of his way to find a place you would find the most comfortable. Did he even once mention Shownu liking the place when he was telling you about it?” 

Jungkook thinks about this for a moment. He remembers Taehyung ensuring that he would have fun, that this was the most comfortable place for him. He’d even invited Jimin out to ensure he wouldn’t feel left out at any point. 

“I mean, I guess. But I think he was just afraid I’d cut him off if he dragged me to some noisy club.” 

“Maybe it was both?”

“Maybe. But there’s definitely something there. I know there is.”

“And if there is? What do I do then? I’ve already confessed to him. On accident, like a moron.”

“Well, you already know how you feel. You just gotta wait for him to figure his feelings out.”

“And if he figures out he feels nothing for me?”

“Then you move on. You deserve to be happy too, you know. You shouldn’t have to hurt yourself just to keep him happy. If he was ever your friend he’ll understand that and respect whatever decision you make.”

Jungkook considers his friend's words. It’ll hurt, but if this is what causes the end of a precious friendship, then this is where it ends. He does a lot for other people, never thinking of how that could benefit him. But maybe it’s time for him to do that. At least once.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah. I’ll just have to wait until I hear from him again. And when the time comes to make a decision, I’ll know which one I need to make.”

Hoseok stands from where he’s sitting and crosses the small distance between the two of them, wrapping his arms around Jungkook’s frame. Jungkook returns the gesture.

“Thanks for being here, Hobi.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m always here if you need me.”

“Can we watch Iron Man now? That was emotionally exhausting.”

“You do know that Iron Man-”

“One emotional outburst at a time, please.”

~

Jungkook is feeling much better these days.

He still hasn’t heard from Taehyung, but that’s okay. He’ll reach out when he’s ready.

The school has reopened, the storm finally passing and the ice starting to melt. Life slowly but surely trickles back onto campus, musch like the way the fountain in the quad has begun to flow like it used to. 

It’s when Jungkook is heading back to the dorm to change for practice that he recieves a message he’s been both apprehensive about and excited to recieve.

Tae Tae: Can you come to my apartment tonight? I think it’s time we talked.

Jungkook doesn’t hesitate to answer this time.

Kook: No problem, I’ll see you then.

~

“You sure you’ll be okay?” Hoseok asks from the driver’s seat of his car.

“Yea, I’m sure. I’ll just catch a bus if things go bad.”

“Do not do that. Call me if you need to.”

“Okay dad, anything else?”

“Remember what we talked about.”

“I will.”

Jungkook gets out of the car and makes his way to the door. He turns around before knocking, seeing Hoseok shoot him a thumbs up to cheer him on. Jungkook turns around, takes a deep breath and knocks on the door. Almost immediately, the door swings open, scaring him.

“Were you like, right by the door?” Jungkook asks, obviously startled.

“Yeah. Sorry, I was just nervous.” He peaks over Jungkook’s shoulder and spots Hoseok in the driveway. Taehyung waves at him, which Hoseok mimics before he pulls away. “Do you wanna head in?”

“That’s probably for the best. It’s still pretty cold out here.”

Jungkook lets Taehyung lead him to the living room, despite having already been here more times than he can count. They sit on opposite ends of the couch, not sure how to start after how they left things the last time they saw each other.

“So, um,” Taehyung starts, “how’ve you been?”

“Oh, god, can we please skip the awkward small talk? My head might explode,” Jungkook says, chucling slightly.

“Sorry,” Taehyung says. “I’m just not sure where to start.”

“Do you want me to go first?”

“Please?” Jungkook nods. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m nervous too.” He takes a deep breath. “Well, I think it’s safe to say we both know how I feel about you.” Taehyung nods. “It’s okay that you don’t feel the way that I do. You aren’t obligated to do so just because we’ve known each other for so long.” He pauses. “But I won’t pretend this isn’t hurting me. I can’t keep doing that to myself. I’ll do my best to hold on to our friendship but it becomes too much for me… then I’ll just have to go.”

Taehyung can only stare at him in shock. He can’t believe the words that he’s hearing right now.

“You think… that I don’t feel the same about you?” 

“I mean… you didn’t say anything when I confessed to you.”

“You kinda caught me off guard.”

“That makes two of us.”

“But that’s actually what I invited you over to talk about.” A pause. “I’ve been in love with you since high school.” Jerry’s eyes widen. “Maybe even before that.”

“Wait, but what about-”

“Shownu? I just started hooking up with him to try to get over you. We just tried the dating thing to see where he would go.”

“So you guys are-”

“Broken up? Yeah, we split after that night at the bar.” Jungkook is about to ask another question, and this time Taehyung beats him to it. “I kinda thought you left with Jimin so you guys could… you know.”

“Why the hell would you think that?”

“In my defense I’d had a lot to drink that night.”

“You seem to do that a lot.”

“So I like a good cocktail, sue me!”

“You like several good cocktails”

The air feels significantly lighter than it had when they first sat down, now that their feelings are out in the open. The silence that settles over them after a bit more bantering is comfortable. They’ve moved closer to each other now as they catch each other up on everything they’ve been up to. 

Jungkook decides he can’t help himself.

“Can I kiss you?”

Taehyung pauses immediately. He thinks he’s misheard him at first, until he sees Jungkook’s eyes flicker down to his lips. He’s certain his voice will betray him as soon as he speaks, so he decides to nod instead. 

Slowly, agonizingly slowly, they inch closer to one another.

When their lips finally connect, there are no fireworks. It doesn’t feel like time has stopped around them, and it doesn’t feel like the rest of the world has faded away and they’re the only ones left.

It feels like coming inside and having hot chocolate after playing in the snow all day. It feels like your parents cooking your favorite meal after you’ve had a hard day. It feels like putting on an old, worn pair of shoes after spending the day trying to break in a new pair all day.

Kissing Taehyung feels like home.

One kiss turns into two, which melts into five, and eventually the two of them find themselves unable to separate from one another. Jungkook pushes Taehyung down until his back meets the cushion of the sofa, and Taehyung allows him to do so. Jungkook’s dragging his hands wherever he can reach, wanting to memorize every detail of Taehyung’s body. Taehyung slides his hands under Jungkook’s shirt, drawing small shapes in his skin. 

It’s when Jungkook grinds his hips into Taehyung’s by mistake, a whimper being ripped from Taehyung’s throat because of it, that they realize the compromising position they’re in. Jungkook pulls away, his eyes drifitng down to Taehyung’s kiss swollen lips.

“Do you want to-”

“Yes.” Jungkook blinks.

“You didn’t even let me-”

“Don’t need to. I’ve been waiting for this for years.”

“I just don’t wanna hurt you.”

“Ooooh, you think you could?” Jungkook squints at him.

“You think I can’t?”

“I’m just saying, I’ve been with a lot of guys-”

“Can we please not talk you hooking up with other guys when I’m on top of you-”

“-and only one has ever been able to make me cry.”

“Wait, who?” Taehyung freezes.

“Forget I said anything,” he tries to lean up to kiss him again, but Jungkook pushes him back down immediately.

“Tell me who it was.”

“But-”

Now.” Jungkook’s demeanor has changed completely, but Taehyung can’t help but continue to tease him.

“Hmm I can’t seem to remember his name now. How odd! Bizarre, even”

“Taehyung.”

“Fine, you’re no fun. It was Shownu.” Jungkook tenses up. “It’s fine, don’t worry if you can’t-”

“Are you challenging me?”

“Maybe a little.”

Jungkook captures Taehyung’s lips again, much more vigorously than he had before. He grinds into Taehyung again, his movements deliberate, rough. The action elicits another sound from Taehyung’s lips, and Jungkook wishes he could make it his ringtone.

“Be careful what you wish for, baby boy.”

It’s not long before clothes are shed, scattered about the apartment in a careless fashion. They continue their minstrations, touches evolving into grabbing, light whimpers turning into loud moans.

Sounds of skin slapping against skin bounce off every wall of the apartment. Breathy moans and whines blend together, creating a symphony of pleasure between the two of them. They continue on until the wee hours of the morning, their bodies having grown slick with sweat.

Jungkook is the second person to ever make Taehyung cry.

~

The following weekend, there’s another party held at Kim Seokjin’s house. 

Taehyung convinces Jungkook once again to go with him, promising they could leave whenever he was ready. 

Jungkook is much more confident now, his arm slung over Taehyung’s shoulder as the two of them walk in. Mirroring the last time, Hoseok spots the two of them immediately when they walk in. Much like last time, he’s drunk.

“Jungkook! You came! I haven’t seen you in so long.”

“You saw me two days ago.”

“Exactly. That’s practically years!” He leans in closer to try, and fail,to whisper to Jungkook. “So what’s up with him.” He very blatantly gestures to Taehyung, who’s watching the two of them interact, amusement written all over his features. 

“Things are good. We’re good.” Hoseok smiles before directing his attention to Taehyung.

“If you’d hurt him I swear I would’ve destroyed you.”

“You cried in the mall because a bunch of middle school kids tripped you and called your shoes stupid.”

“Middle schoolers are mean, man.” Hoseok hears someone call his name somewhere in the distance, and stumbles in that direction.

“Is he gonna be plastered every time we meet?” Taehyung asks, watching as Hoseok turns to wave goodbye to them.

“Honestly? Probably.”

They find their way to the same area they had been the last time they were last time, occupied by the very same people as well. This time, Shownu sits among them. For the first time tonight, Jungkook feels nervous. Shownu sees the two of them coming and waves them over. 

“Hey, Jungkook! Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Yea, Guess it has been a long time.” A beat of silence. “Listen, I-”

“No no, don’t you dare apologize. It’s completely fine. I didn’t expect things to get serious anyway.” 

“Are you sure? Because-”

“No, really. I’m completely fine. I’m glad you two are happy.” He smiles, and Jungkook returns it. 

He decides he thinks Shownu is actually a pretty cool guy.

Taehyung and Jungkook stay for a while, laughing and talking with the other people seated in the area. Taehyung eventually begins drinking to the point of heavy intoxication, as he often does, and Jungkook opts to take him home. They say their goodbyes, and Jungkook carries Taehyung out on his back and all the way back to campus. 

Though it’s only been about a month since they were last here, the walk home makes Jungkook feel nostalgic. The night that had ended so badly for him had resulted in a whirlwind of emotions and unfortunate events. Even so, he thinks he’d do it all over again if he had the chance. 

He glances over his shoulder and is met with the sleeping face of Taehyung, him having dozed off halfway through the walk home. As he gazes at the view before him he thinks yes, he absolutely would go through all of that again. 

As long as he ended up with Taehyung in the end, he would do anything.