#i have bad experience in state school i want to establish my own

[senkuishigaymi]

Dead Poets Society but make it Ms. Peregrine's Home but also make it Babel and perhaps Alice in Wonderland:

A school for the quaints and the peculiars, deep inside the forest but also near the sea. You get there with train and get off the station where none of the kids ever come back. Your parents, concerned, not sure what to do with you, send you there. It's the place where there are kids like us. They wish you a nice stay, maybe nicer than home... (be it with the kindest intention, be it not).

There are teachers... I mean of course (adult supervision!), the kind professors or the funky chefs or the kind gardener lady. But here's the catch: the only subjects they taught are humanities. They teach you how to Mozart or Monet, how to Poe or Plato. Dead languages, ancient excerpts, and maybe pentagrams and reliving myths (as long as you don't get caught).

But also here's another thing: you and your funky friend groups (who does not only recite poems or memorize lines or speak 3 languages) (but also talks to the dead, and can float, and could converse with the rabbits) have questions you ought to answer. To where does the rusty door behind the wild grape vines lead? What's behind the towering, dusty bookshelves? Shouldn't you take a closer look at the cave near the beach?

Yes. Maybe it will take you somewhere, another place like this school. A place where there are kids like us. Maybe, just maybe.

[skyenish]

Twisted Wonderland Personality Swap AU

Thanks so much for the support on my previous posts, it really means a lot to me. Because of that, I've decided to continue writing for this AU and keep you all updated! I'll also be using this post to answer some of your questions. (In this AU the Housewardens and Vice-Housewardens switched personalities)

I went ahead and made some doodles for Ruggie, Leona, Jamil and Kalim (Ruggie with Leona's eyes scares me tbh)

Questions/explanations/clarifications:

-I didn't change the characters' backstories (unless specifically stated). Riddle still has a horrible mom, Trey's family still owns a bakery, Leona is still second prince, Ruggie is still dirt-poor, etc.

-What changed is how the characters reacted to their respective trauma I guess, which resulted in their personalities changing.

-Their personalities are not exact copies of eachother. For example, Riddle isn't just Trey but with red hair. He's very similar to Trey, yes, but they have a few differences in their personalities too.

-I'll explain how the characters became the way they are over time. Plus, it's also fun to think about it yourself, right?

-I've already worked out Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle and Scarabia.

-I'm planning on doing every dorm, but I play on the English server so I haven't finished book 6 yet.

-Yes, I'm planning on having the Vices + Kalim overblot, and to do that I'll be using their already canonically established backstories.

-I am NOT a professional artist, nor do I have ANY experience with drawing comics, but just know that I'm passionate about this little project and will work hard to make it as good as possible.

-I'm busy with school (I'm busy in general lol), so I don't have a lot of time to work on this AU- I've been sick for the past 4 days, which is why I could post so much.

-If you have literally any questions, just ask. I love to read you guys' reactions!

Characters:

Jamil wears his hair in a loose braid in this AU, since I don't think he has the patience to braid his hair the way he originally does and his hair is kinda connected to his personality. Jamil is much more optimistic and positive, and he's always supportive. People seem to naturally like him, which annoys Kalim. Jamil always tries to look at things from a positive perspective, trying to make the best out of his situation, though it's not that bad for him, because Jamil genuinely thinks that Kalim is amazing. When he got an invitation to NRC he INSISTED that Kalim come as well. Jamil always wants to throw feasts, and if his master allows it, he'll disappear in the kitchen to cook enough food to feed 3 entire dorms for a week. Jamil frequently tries to get Kalim to relax, because he just wants him to be happy, but Kalim then reminds him that they're at NRC to study. (I already talked about Kalim in a previous post but I'll copy paste it here too)

In this AU, Kalim is much stricter, much more focused and MUCH more responsible. He studies rigorously and insisted on actually working hard to earn his position as Housewarden instead of his family buying the position for him. He’s very sharp, quite intelligent, and is annoyed by his naïve servant and his carefree attitude, who keeps following him around.

Leona is a menace, playful, optimistic and cunning, but he also puts a lot of work into his dorm and school. He knows he has to work had to achieve his goals and he knows that he has a lot of responsibilities. He values hard work.

Ruggie is the complete opposite to Leona though. He is lazy, quick to irritate, and forces lower-classmen to do his work for him because he just wants to sleep. Ruggie is a terrible student, never showing up for class or duties and never putting in any effort. He feels like no matter what he does or how hard he works, he'll never make any changes and his life won't ever get better anyways, especially with a high-and-mighty prince as his Housewarden. He thinks that nothing he does is of any use , so why bother at all, right?

Thanks for reading this word vomit, reblogging would be appreciated lol

[emthepotatocat]

I talked about this during the live discussion but my theory for the reason the RatGrinders where so interested in the Thistlespring Tree and the soil is because by infecting the soil, they can infect the pollen of the plants of Elmville. Then, that infected rage pollen would be used to make the Devil’s Honey that Gertie was talking about. It will then be used to infect the whole school through the food trucks. In their state of rage infection (where they worship the rage god), the devil’s honey would cause their worship and belief to be much more stronger as the infected will have no doubt that they ever worshiped anyone else and will start believing the lie.

I agree with most theories that the party died in the Mountains of Chaos and were brought alive by the rage god, but I find it more interesting how this god is operating. I’m not too sure if they’re directly controlling the actions of the RatGrinders or if it’s by proxy and the RatGrinders can control themselves to some degree, but the theme of loopholes and fairness is still prevalent in this plan. We have seen other gods be changed by their followers, like Cassandra and Tracker’s goddess, but what happens if the followers are essentially mind controlled into worship a certain god? especially one that is unnamed and largely unknown? Their plan is to actively shape the identity of their followers into being rageful and make those followers believe in the lie that they have always worshiped this rage god. Is this a loophole to the way worship in the FH universe works? Because based on what we have been shown, all worshipers were in some degree willing participates in their worship of any specific god, only social pressures and manipulations to keep them worshiping rather than being literally forced. So is this god trying to essentially build a brainwashed rage army to worship them in order to become a powerful god rather than building up followers? Is this rage god buying bots to artificially inflate their follower count rather than posting good-quality shit posts and amassing a loyal fan base?

Going over the whole villain plan so far: KettlePitty CopperFucker already has preexisting rage and jealousy toward the Bad Kids and specifically Riz. Her rage stems from her understanding how she’s an NPC in a DnD game. She’s essentially she’s an incel, wanting the world to revolve around her but not doing what’s necessary and thinking her conflict free life is boring and wanting the trauma of the Bad Kids. The idea of it all was much cooler in Kipperlilly’s head than it actually was for the Bad Kids, and the Bad Kids actually were able to work through that Trauma, leading them to be who they are. Anyway, Kipperlilly is a vulnerable teen who got too lost in her own emotions, and drove herself insane with her own jealousy, making her into the easy target for the Rage God. The Rat grinders’ treck into the mountains of chaos was most likely KipperLilly’s attempt at replacing the Bad Kids’ cool adventures but something went wrong, they weren’t prepared as they lacked experience with big threats, causing themselves to die. They all then chose to be revived by Rage God (TM), minus Lucy who stayed dead and who they hexed into never going into the afterlife as revenge(?) for not following the Rage God. (Begs the question of why they brought her to the Elmville forest rather than leaving her behind?). Anyways they go back to Elmville and slowly begin their plan, consisting of 2 steps.

1. Expel the Bad Kids as revenge.

2. Make everyone worship the Rage God.

The second step is much easier to explain. Kipperlilly sets up the food trucks and establishes them as legit. Then, at Frosty Fair, Ruben was supposed to infect all of Elmville’s soil through his ritual at the Root Guardian, being the Thistlespring residents. As discussed earlier, this would have caused all the soil and thus pollen and thus Devil’s Honey to be corrupted with Rage God and spread amongst the Aguefort student body. This creates a super army of Angy Bois who would all worship this one god. Now I’m not to sure if the ritual actually worked, but this sure seems like the original plan. Also somehow all of this is related to Ankarna and Cassandra and their marriage but I’m not sure how specifically. The Rat Grinders going back to the Mountains of Chaos might be for a ritual or meeting of some kind and we might get to see the Rage God in action as the RatGrinders report how their plan is not doing great, especially with the Bad Kids catching on and surviving. Also the Sky Engine stolen from Fabian’s basement might have something to do with the expulsion plan, but I’m leaning toward it relating to their trip to the Mountains of Chaos.

Now the first step is much more complicated and visible. First time, they try to expel them using the robit principal and catching the Bad Kids doing drugs at the Frosty Fair. This fails due to robit murder. This also leaves a power vacuum and due to Aguefort’s dumbass and Aguefort (the schools) lack of plan Cs, the Class President becomes the true principal in case of emergencies, leading Kipperlilly into furiously campaigning for President to become principal. I’m not sure if this is because she wants to expel the Bad Kids herself, a gun for more power, or something relating to the Rage God plan, or maybe all three? Idk. She is also most likely colluding with Jace Stardiamond, who we can assume gunned for Kristen to be failed for step 1 and for the bot not to be rebuilt for the above. The failing of Kristen also forced them to the Last Stand-ard Exam, where Buddy was probably planted by Stardiamond at the request of Kipperlilly and where Buddy and the Bad Kids were probably were going to be left for dead, hoping they may take the Rage God’s deal for life in exchange for worship and further indoctrination. Stardiamond is may be rage-compromised or is just being manipulated idk.

[kizunarae]

a mismatched mess: a fitz and molly essay

In my re-read of ROTE, I am struck again by the profound mismatch between Fitz and Molly. Neither complements the other, and their relationship is fraught with tension and incompatibility. However, what really compels me to write this is what seems to be the prevailing sentiment within the fandom that places the blame squarely on Fitz’s shoulders. I believe that this perspective is an oversimplification and rather unfair to Fitz. The demise of their relationship was not unilaterally caused by Fitz; rather, it was a shared unraveling.

I will be focusing solely on events up to the end of Royal Assassin, avoiding spoilers for subsequent books. I will put it under a read more as it will be long...

I want to disclaimer that while I may appear fairly critical of Molly's behavior, I do not think she did anything particularly wrong and do believe her emotions and reactions are largely justified. It is just precisely because of who she is (and who Fitz is) that I believe they are a bad match. Additionally, I think Fitz's wrongs have been hashed out extensively so I will only briefly touch on points I disagree with and not elaborate overmuch on his failures in their relationship.

I will begin with their first reunion in Royal Assassin. Fitz has just returned to the Keep after being on his deathbed for several months. Each person he encounters barely recognizes him through his wasted and sickly appearance. Fitz, embarrassed by his weakness, pulls a foolish move: he claims to be drunk when a passing serving girl—none other than Molly—crosses his path. His attempt to save face and avoid interaction turns futile. And yet, despite the evidence that Fitz is clearly sickly in appearance, Molly's first reaction is not concern. It is not to hear his side of the story nor to find out how he has been, nor consider anything that he may have gone through. Instead, she is focused only on her own experiences, and her own feelings and thus responds only with pure outrage and begins firing off accusations with misplaced anger.

Without basis, she accuses him of courting her and then abandoning her. I think many take this claim at face value, because "Fitz should have known what he was doing" (as Patience also intoned). However, let's consider the books have established a three-year age gap between Fitz and Molly. Thus, in Assassin's Apprentice, Fitz would have been begun "courting" Molly at around the age of 13-15 while Molly was 16-18. Even without viewing this through a modern lens, this claim feels like a stretch to me. Imagine expecting a young boy, barely schooled in social norms, to understand that strolling through town with a childhood friend equals courtship. No words or actions passed between them that indicated anything more than friendship. I believe Patience's scolding and instructions were fitting and commendable. However, Molly’s internalization of this narrative against Fitz seems misplaced and unfair, given her knowledge of their shared history and relationship.

Then, after he shares his concern for her about what he saw in his dream. She accuses him of purposely scheming and attempting to deceive her; that he must have heard her whole story in the tavern and is just making fun of her. This is again a very unfair characterization for her to place on Fitz; nothing she knows about him should indicate that he would do something like this at her expense.

She has a right to be upset that Fitz kept his true identity from her. But he also had a right to do so. She gave him no grace and despite his apparent weakened state, she did not allow him to give any explanations. Worse, because of how Fitz is, he immediately accepts her view of the situation and berates himself for not realizing the courtship, despite having had no tools of his own to recognize that. This pattern continues throughout their relationship.

And this, in essence, is what makes Fitz and Molly such a toxic pair. She accuses him of things he does not intend or cannot change, and he, like a sponge, absorbs them as truth, eroding his own perspective and identity. And on the other side, I believe Molly deserves someone who will challenge her. Someone to stretch her boundaries, broaden her horizons. A companion who could wholeheartedly dedicate their life to a family and business together in partnership. Because, while not necessarily a flaw, she has blinders on and focuses largely on her personal happiness and fulfillment. She does not want to bother with thinking of the realm, the raiders or the help other families may need. This is a chasm between her and Fitz, whose heart bleeds for his people's misfortune and feels a duty to his station and Kings. Instead of embracing and appreciating Fitz's compassionate heart and will to make the Six Duchies a better place, she frequently berates him and minimizes his feelings by accusing him of only being a mere king's pawn unable to think and choose for himself.

Especially as readers, we know this isn't the whole truth. We’ve witnessed Fitz’s tears for a dead child cradled in his arms, felt the fire of vengeance burning within him against the raiders. Molly has not, and yet, it does not seem she cares to know. To each of Fitz's explanations, she complains and argues. While we only get the taste of a few of these encounters, Fitz comments that it is a frequent topic of contention between them.

Molly wants Fitz to fit into her mold and she wants what makes her happy to be what makes him happy. She longs for the days when Fitz was only Newboy. She says she just doesn't understand the things he tells her, and yet I feel this is the same "not understanding" that Fitz employs with the Fool; in fact, it is very much understood, it is just not what they want to acknowledge as truth. Because Fitz is not Newboy, and because she subconsciously blames Fitz for not being Newboy, she thus does not put in effort to know and accept Fitz for who he is. I do not consider her calling Fitz as Newboy throughout Royal Assassin a simple nickname; to me it speaks of Molly desperately trying to reverse time and put Fitz back in the box she liked him best in.

I think exactly how little Molly knows Fitz is further illustrated by the Nighteyes-as-Fitz scene. It is a weird and, in some ways, humorous scene, but what struck me is how Molly appears to know Fitz so poorly that she did not sense anything amiss about an intimate encounter with a literal wolf in Fitz-clothing.

Returning to Fitz's identity and 'lies' throughout their relationship, I personally do not believe that Fitz owed her the truth of his identity from the beginning. It was a deeply personal matter and I believe it was not wrong for him to keep it private. As a young boy, he felt his status as a bastard was deeply shameful, and it is no wonder he would not share it. In my opinion, he would have a duty to disclose if he had truly begun to court her, however he was never given this chance.

So, did he continue to lie after his identity was revealed to her? I do not believe so. He shares much with her about what he does, and about Verity and King Shrewd. It is not a question to me that he would not be able to disclose every detail of what he knows; his knowledge of his kingdom's affairs and his identity as an assassin are not entirely his secrets to share. There are surely modern equivalents of this as well. It is hardly unusual to be unable to share some portions of one's work with one's partner. However, Molly deems this as unacceptable and unforgiveable, despite her lack of interest in what he does— a further inherent incompatibility in their relationship. Instead of offering understanding and support for the isolation that Fitz must feel for being in such a position with his Kings, she resents him for things he has no real power to change. Keep in mind if he had left the Kings' protection at the time, his life would surely have been threatened as Chivalry's was lost. Molly should be able to understand this, and yet she cannot see past her current unhappiness.

In her time at the Keep, Molly also puts a large amount of pressure on Fitz. She is out of her element, she has had a traumatic experience, she knows no one at court. And so, she often complains to Fitz that he doesn't spend more time with her. In a very unhealthy way, she attempts to force him to be everything for her at the Keep— her only social outlet, her support, her protector. Due to this, her resentment for Fitz and his choices grows with every moment he is not with her, and she spends much of their time together asking him to turn away from who and what he is to start a life together.

In the end, both hold the other up as idealized versions one could never hope to fulfil; Molly wants Fitz without his royalty or passion for his people. Fitz yearns for Molly, stripped of independence, her self-driven, entrepreneurial nature tucked away. In their relationship, they offer only moments of fleeting comfort punctuated by feelings of sadness and blame. They cannot fulfill each other's expectations. Molly is unable to bolster Fitz's confidence in himself and the peace and acceptance he desperately craves remain elusive. And likewise, Fitz cannot offer Molly purpose or allow her the sense of security she desires under which to prosper her business and family.

And so, these two are ill-matched and ill-fated, clinging through each other to the last vestiges of a childhood they wish they did not have to leave behind. 

[gojonanami]

lmaooo I’m starting to feel bad for prof geto — also it’s funny because there was so many people who were just doubled down on prof geto and now everyone is like yuta 💕🥹 which I’m glad for!! lmao you make fair points — I mean the point is for it to be a mistake! But it’s also understandable to try something even if it doesn’t ultimately work out — because you really don’t know until you try. he also has a lot more work because the last dept head fucked things up but honestly poor yuta is caught in the crossfire of this situation — he will have his own happy ending though 🥹💕

Look, I want to defend Professor Geto.

I think Professor Geto's actions make sense. They do. And I think this chapter prevents Professor Geto from turning into a Gary Stu.

It's hard to maintain a long-term relationship, and it is not the same as having a relationship in person. It is not. Having a video call with someone over dinner is not the same thing as seeing them in person. There is a reason why the people you're closest to physically and geographically end up being your closest friends. For instance, one of my friends from school who I was not that close to but still friends with ended up becoming one of my best friends because we attended the same university. And another friend of mine I now barely talk to because we live continents and time zones away and because the rhythms of our lives are so different and we are now out of sync. It didn't happen because I didn't want to be friends with her, but simply because ten to fifteen minute calls could never equate to meeting up with someone in person every day and sending hours talking to them or just being in their presence. I am getting off track now, I know, but the point still stands: given that long-term relationships are not the same thing as having a relationship in person, and given that you love that person and want them to experience the maximum amount of happiness possible, if it comes at the cost of your own unhappiness, does that not make sense?

Yuta is a new character that we don't have an established relationship with. Fine, he is nice, I will concede. And he is nice to her. But to play the devil's advocate, he seizes upon the opportunity of her having a long-distance relationship with her boyfriend. He pays attention to her phone calls, subtly presses her about her boyfriend, and positions himself in her life in such a way as to function as a quasi-replacement for her boyfriend. For her birthday, he does not offer to throw her a birthday party with the Student Committee or ask her about her family or her friends. Instead, he wants her to spend the day with him and with him only, and while that is not strictly stated, such a reading can still be read into and made (I don't have the time to isolate sections of the text currently).

Coming back to Professor Geto, though. Professor Geto is young, smart, accomplished, and handsome, with phenomenal career growth. Despite his young age, he is successful. He is influential. He has published countless articles and books, given lectures, travelled to conferences and other universities, and functioned as a poster boy for both the university he was employed at and for the field of ethics at large, which is in desperate need of such poster boys to attract interest and even students. While it is not explicitly stated (perhaps for reasons of my selfishness), I am assuming that he works at a very, very good university, too. He is a fantastic man! A Prince Charming embodied and reinvented for our age and for the female gaze. Now, for such a character to exist, he has to have at least some flaws, no? And procrastination is believable. Look, I am using the term procrastination because, in his behaviour, I can recognise a pattern that is manifest in me and some of the people around me. Social relationships are tough to maintain sometimes, even with the people you love more than anything, and work is often all-consuming (especially for someone like Professor Geto). Sometimes, stress eats away at you and worms into your mind, and you feel an urge to delay, procrastinate, focus on something else, stare, and debate, and this just causes more and more time to pass. Once a specific socially accepted passage of time for replying has passed, you almost feel like you can't send a message at that point, as you've been an utter imbecile for failing to do so beforehand. And if you're working in the field of ethics, it may bring with it a certain sense of indecisiveness (or, perhaps, it attracts personalities who tend to overthink – a double-edged sword of sorts). What is the best outcome in a situation that does not favour you? What do you owe to yourself and to others? Is what you owe yourself more important than what you owe others? What does it mean to have a happy life? Is having a successful career more rewarding than having a successful relationship? Is it fair to calculate the chance that if one is an attractive character with an amiable character, they will be able to find a sustaining relationship for them later down the line, while in the world of work, age does play a part and employers spend time looking at employment history and any potential gaps? Adding to that, is there a point in snatching career opportunities, and should they come at the cost of personal happiness? And speaking from personal experience, sometimes, it feels like delaying, and not sleeping to the point of utter exhaustion will alleviate the situation as it reduces you to a state of numbness. If you're a perfectionist, too, crafting the perfect response or apology can be a horribly difficult task, and while I am lucky that my sister entertains my twenty messages of 'Does this email sound okay?' Not everyone has that, and unfortunately, as you age, due to social perceptions/constructions/deviations in schedules/etc., you find yourself having less and less people to whom you can write fifty messages regarding a situation like 'Did I misunderstand this message?' or 'If she just replied using an emoji, does that mean that she doesn't like me as much as a friend anymore?'

I think the way Professor Geto acted makes sense. Just because he thought that he was behaving according to a mindset wherein he prioritised the future and the minimisation of pain for his partner does not necessarily equate to him being a bad partner.

And the infatuation with Yuta is, in part, due to: 1) recency bias; 2) the fact that we haven't seen as much of his character, psychology, or weaknesses (which is fine; he's a side character; not every character in a series, novel, or whatever will get the same treatment); and 3) his presentation and manifestation of the self in the world in which he manufactures an image of himself that is favourable in part to curry favour with the woman he is attracted to.

I would just like to add that I do not think that Yuta is a 'bad guy'. I just think that his character can be read in more complex ways, as can Professor Geto's.

I firmly believe that with the way in which this series is unfolding, an ending wherein Professor Geto gets back together with his girl narratively makes sense.

Also, other points to consider are: 1) She sought out Yuta's presence as a replacement for Professor Geto, and in her mind, considering the connection and sheer attraction that she harbours for Professor Geto, Yuta will inevitably be compared to Professor Geto in almost every way; 2) Relationships manifest in different ways, and in the case of our protagonist, in my reading of her, for her, it is not just the spiritual, soulmate-like, friendship-level connection that is important, but also the element of intense attraction, too. She did not feel that with Yuta. She did not feel this overwhelming, intense, possessing, all-consuming, delightful, and powerful connection, attraction, and pull towards Yuta. Rather, it was a feeling of comfort and, in some sense, convenience, a recognition of him harbouring affections towards her and that being a convenient outlet for distracting herself from her lingering (and still very powerful) feelings for Professor Geto. As a reference, I would like to draw attention to the beginning of the chapter, when she is trying to find a way of occupying herself by joining the Student Union; her entering a relationship with Yuta could be considered in a similar light.

Overall, then, I would like to strongly emphasise that there is a strong case to be made for the overseeing of narrative progression in such a way that it guarantees Professor Geto reuniting with his girl.

okay this is amazing and I have no notes 💯

I really did have this chapter to prevent prof geto from becoming too perfect — he needs to make mistakes and he needs to have flaws, otherwise he’s just too good and no one is like that.

yuta truly does have reader’s best interests at heart — but is he taking advantage? A little bit — he is putting himself there in a position where he and reader could be taken advantage of by the other. but we’ll see that all unfold in part five.

narratively, it is correct that reader and prof geto end up together and they are supposed to!! that’s the point. this is a period for them to realize what their lives are like without the other after experiencing what is it like to be together 🥹💕

[sokkastyles]

Reading ATLA: The Promise

Part 1: pages 27-65

Previous post here.

If this comic is supposed to take place a year after the events of ATLA, how come Zuko's hair isn't grown out? Considering how fast it grew in less than a year in the series, why does he still have that crappy white guy haircut?

So while Zuko is busy falling apart, Aang is in the FN helping with the restoration movement and speaking for the Fire Lord, but apparently they’ve had no communication with each other? This plot makes NO sense.

Aang: “Don’t worry, everyone I’ve helped move from the colonies to the mainland totally loves it and is welcome!”

One page later:

Katara and her OMG face: “The last time I saw Zuko, I was sanctioning his death under the assumption that he might theoretically turn against us. I am totally shocked now that this thing that I predicted would happen seems to have happened! I wonder if this problem would have been solved by communicating with and trusting my friends, like we learned to do when Zuko joined us at the Western Air Temple? Nah, I’m just gonna stand there and look in distress.”

Meanwhile, we jump to Toph’s metalbending academy! This I like. Why is this not something Toph continued to pursue as a career in LOK? We quickly learn, from Toph’s students, that something is happening in Yu Dao, which is apparently near enough to Toph’s school that ALL of her students’ parents live there. Toph wants to know what’s going on, and spots Appa and, in a scene that completely defies the established laws of how bending works in the series, flies on a rock to join the gaang and ask what’s going on.

Toph being so quick to say that Zuko is, specifically, acting like Ozai is so completely contradictory to her character. in ATLA she was the first person to believe in him at the Western Air Temple, and she also understands wanting to be seen as an individual and not be shadowed by your parents’ expectations, so for her to immediately jump to “Oh no, he’s acting like his dad” is strange.

The other thing is that it seems weird for her NOT to know about or understand what is going on in Yu Dao or be able to see it with a more nuanced perspective, especially since the unrest seems to have been occurring long before Zuko got there, since her school is so close to the city and her students apparently live there, ALL of them, as the comic states. These are earthbenders that wear green but their parents live in Yu Dao, which is part of the Fire Nation. So, the issue of multiculturalism in the colonies is one she should already be able to understand. I’m saying this as someone who teaches at a school with a large population of children whose parents are immigrants. I don’t like how this comic simplifies things for the sake of manufactured conflict.

Then Aang has a spirit conversation with Roku where Roku tries to discourage Aang from talking to Zuko and encourages him to just kill him instead. Now, I do think it makes sense that Roku is projecting his own experiences with Sozin onto Aang and Zuko, but the lesson shouldn’t be “talking is bad, killing good.” The message should be about not being blinded by your own biases, which ALSO includes acting before thinking just as much as it includes the dangers of acting too late.

Also wasn’t there a whole deal in ATLA where Zuko’s “good side” was explained by him having the blood of Roku and Sozin inside him? While I did think the whole “genetics determines your destiny” thing was reductive when ATLA did it, and contrary to the overall message of the story, which is that individuals determine their own destiny, I feel like Roku’s message here is kinda backtracking on that? If Zuko has the capacity for good because he is not just Sozin’s descendant, but Roku’s, then why is Roku so quick to not believe in that goodness?

Isn’t that Smellerbee, who in ATLA tried to encourage Jet to stop being blinded by hatred and wanted to start a new life? Also, let’s keep jokingly misgendering her, that’s fun.

The last time we saw Katara and Aang develop their relationship, they were rudely interrupted just as they were about to “figure out what they meant to each other.” Now, after a year time skip, they are calling each other sweetie. 

Relationship development: footage not found.

Let’s take a minute to appreciate these guards, who are SHOCKED and APPALLED that the Avatar, the Last Airbender, flew over their wall with his little glider.

Semantics question: Did the comics mispell “flameo,” or is “flamio” the plural form when addressing multiple hotmen?

I actually think Aang greeting them this way is hilariously in character. Also, let’s hear it for this general who’s like, “yeah, I’m gonna fight the Avatar! I’m sure Fire Lord Zuko would want me to do this!”

So then Aang fights these Fire Nation soldiers. Katara stands there and screams and only intervenes because she’s mad that the soldiers, and I quote, won’t “stop trying to set my boyfriend on fire.” Katara, who in ATLA hardly needed an invitation to get involved in a righteous fight.

Then we have the infamous “Zuko grabbing Katara’s wrist” scene, which I already wrote about here, but now that I have the full context I want to reiterate how ridiculous it is that people on the internet try to paint this as “abuse” when Aang and Katara broke into a protected city that is being besieged by freedom fighters, started attacking the soldiers there, and Zuko has NO IDEA why they are there because apparently NO ONE IN THIS COMIC TALKS TO EACH OTHER. Granted, Zuko also had to have the idiot ball to create this conflict in the first place, but from his perspective, he’s protecting people, and Katara (as Zuko reminded us) is a big girl and a master waterbender in her own right, who is able to defeat a whole retinue of soldiers single-handedly. Zuko holding her wrist and telling her to stop attacking people is not abuse. In fact, it’s one of the few times in this comic so far that someone has tried to stop the fighting instead of just mindlessly attacking.

Also, Katara says “Don’t make me hurt you back” to Zuko while he’s holding her hands behind her back. Am I NOT supposed to read this as kinky?

So then Zuko and Aang fight, Aang says Zuko “has changed” except neither of them communicated with each other before attacking first. Then Aang gets so enraged that he goes into the Avatar state and only Katara can calm him down and stop him from attacking Zuko. Should we be worrying about Aang’s emotional state and how he’s so quick to move towards uncontrollable violence, and how upsetting this is for Katara to witness? No, apparently these things are only an issue when you come from the wrong family. This is a good message (sarcasm alert).

I don’t really have much to say about the next part that wouldn’t already be rehashing what I’ve said before. Zuko talks about realizing that there are people here that consider themselves both a part of the Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation, that removing all the Fire Nation would require separating multicultural families. He says some misguided things about how “everyone is better off now” and Aang says that they can only have peace if they are separate. There IS a good conflict here, I just wish it would have been better written. Obviously there’s the issue of exploitation, and we see scenes of Earth Kingdom people being exploited that are supposed to make us question what Zuko says about how they’re both better off. Zuko’s comment comes from a place of not understanding his privilege but he’s also coming from the perspective of a defeated nation that he’s been tasked with protecting. If Zuko hadn’t intervened, there probably would have been fighting in Yu Dao regardless. And keeping the nations separate doesn’t solve that issue, especially if Zuko is supposed to be working with the leaders of the other nations. Aang’s stance on how balance can only be achieved through separation sounds a lot like “separate, but equal.” You don’t end oppression by keeping people separate, you end it by teaching people how to live with each other.

Toph I<3U

[calcifiedunderland]

i meant to write all my explanations down months ago and never finished my non-abridged notes so bear with me ss i try to gather my thoughts. also not all of them are 100% winners because there's A LOT of overlap in character arcs, personalities, and traits. so while some arcana work for multiple characters i did the ones i thought would match best without leaving anyone out at the end (funfact almost every vice housewarden fits high priestess and almost every housewarden fits emperor)

emperor is Azul - authority (his need to have information on everyone to establish dominance in situations where he can't otherwise beguile them into giving him what he wants), establishment and structure (everything about the mostro lounge and his shady side business). having status and power are their most comfortable states of being. they are also having knowledge and expertise of things (octavinelle is the "smart" dorm of the school with the highest grades on average and azul is no outlier. he's also knowledgeable on lots of things to be able to fulfill bargains with his contractees) they lead and organize others. the reversal traits are domination, excessive control and overuse and abuse of power (the electrified contracts in book3 and anemones on those who break their contract, and making deals with 1/3rd of the school AND crowley)

empress is jade - his love of nature, his "nurturing" (read: butler) behavior, creative expression and connecting with self and senses come in with that love of nature and taking care of his terrariums and experimenting with mushrooms. his reversal trait isn't necessarily a bad one but it's dependence on others specifically azul and floyd bc of their ties to the business and high school mafia 😂

star is kalim - hope, faith, sense of purpose (he knows what his future is), optimistic, generous spirit and shares hope with others. he hasn't really shown reverse traits specifically in book 4, even after becoming aware of jamil's betrayal and manipulation he never loses faith in jamil or his "friendship" however i'd see this as a form of disconnection from reality which is a reversal trait. but also when he's under jamil's mind control he is disconnected from others and his usual temperment.

🦄

I really like how you explained everything, it’s v methodical 👀 from specifically a ‘power and control’ stance Azul def fits the emperor role, I think possibly Jamil could also fit along with the other housewardens. Jamil may not be the highest leader role, but he certainly has authority and control esp from book 4.

For Jade as the empress I like how you broke it down - Jade (and Floyd) could function on his own but it’s Azul who helps mastermind their schemes. He’s definitely nurturing (in his own way lmao) and creative

Kalim being the star is so fitting 😭 he’s like a beacon of light at nrc because of his optimism, it never wavers (although that’s not v healthy in the long run).

This was fun to read 👀thank you!!

[lavenrain96]

Where Your Loyalties Lie

For @mikayuuweek

Day 6: Always/Never (ft. Modern-day Romeo & Juliet)

A continuation of some sort from an AU that I wrote for a long time now in my other blog~ I’ll never get over this AU apparently. (Haha) Anyway, enjoy reading~

---

A loud slap echoed within the lobby of the newly established condominium under the Tepes' name. The guests quickly grew quiet at the scene unfolding before them, more so when the people present were the head of the Tepes family, her heir and their rival's heir.

"It seems that I have been too soft on you, Mika." Krul punctuated with unhidden anger and disappointment at her son's actions. "While I allowed you to do whatever makes you happy, this is crossing the line. You seem to have become well acquainted with those Ichinose scums." 

Mikaela held his bruised cheek with a shaky hand, trying his best to not cry in such a grand event. "But mother, Yuu's not like that…"

"I will not hear another word from you," The head of Tepes stated firmly as she glared at the unwanted visitor in her presence before addressing the crowd. "Ladies and gentlemen, tonight has been a joyous evening. However, under… special circumstances, I'm afraid that I have to ask everyone to leave the night early. We are done here."

"W-Wait, Madam Tepes," Yuuichirou surprisingly called her out with a respectable honorific unbecoming of him. "Please hear Mika out. He was only concerned about our feuding relationship and what it could do if it continues on. He didn't mean to upset you."

"That is none of your concern, brat, and I would greatly appreciate it if you stay away from my son from now on." Krul hissed at Yuuichirou as she grabbed Mikaela's arm to pull him away from the other. "It looks like I'll have to write a personal letter to Principal Saito about suspending you from school for a while. Because starting today, you're grounded, Mika.” 

"No, mother, we can settle this. Just hear me out for a while, please..." Mikaela pleaded but it all fell on deaf ears as he was dragged away, leaving Yuuichirou alone with a couple of guards surrounding him.

Yuuichirou waved his hands up in surrender nonchalantly. "Easy there; I'll see myself out. There's no need to be violent after what happened."

The guards looked at each other in surprise after what Yuuichirou said, and they only stared at Yuuichirou's back as he did as he promised. They were blissfully unaware of what the young Ichinose heir was planning within his mind while he turned a corner and kicked open the door of the emergency exit hidden in a rather convenient spot.

He listened quietly as he proceeded up the stairs with caution. It took him a while to find the right floor where Krul and Mikaela were arguing in a heated debate about what occurred a few minutes ago. Their voices resounded a bit in the silent hallway, that Yuuichirou could understand what they were saying despite being quite far from them.

"We've already discussed this, Mika. No matter what kind of ideas you have, those Ichinose bastards will not quietly ask for a surrender. I won’t let you experience the pain that I’ve been through because of this." Krul sternly scolded Mikaela before she sighed tiredly. “You’re just like your father. He also had the same ideals, but where did it get him? In a plane crash owned by those barbarians. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you too, Mika. Do you understand?”

Mikaela bit down on his bottom lip at the same tactic his mother would pull whenever she disagreed with something. It was starting to get on his nerves.

“The times have changed, mother. I’m not my father. I know what I want, and I’m trying to negotiate peace between us. Why won’t you let me?” He asked in a firm tone that silently told Krul that Mikaela wasn’t backing out.

“Because I know what’s best for you, Mika. And it seems that this Ichinose brat you’ve been around with is influencing your thoughts.” Krul hummed before she flicked her wrist to signal two of her bodyguards to get a hold of Mikaela. “No matter. Perhaps solitary confinement will wake you up from this foolishness. I’ll give you two weeks to reflect on yourself, Mika. Use the time wisely.”

“W-Wait, mother…! Mother!” Mikaela cried out in horror as he was taken away to be locked up in the penthouse suite of the condominium where his only exit was an elevator.

He was eventually left alone in a room all too big for himself once the guards forcibly made him stay put. The deafening silence and cold atmosphere made Mikaela unconsciously hug himself. He wasn’t foreign to being left alone, but something about it now made it all the more frightening for him.

“Yuu…”

A soft whimper escaped his lips as tears began to well up in his eyes, threatening to fall at any given time. He wiped on his eyes, sniffling for a bit before a knock was heard from a distance.

Mikaela jumped and he turned around to see Yuuichirou knocking on the glass door by the balcony. He blinked in surprise for a good moment, watching Yuuichirou continue to hit the glass to see if the person before him wasn’t an illusion made by his head until he heard his muffled voice.

“Mika, let me in. It’s freezing here.” Yuuichirou complained with a frown, and the expression was enough for Mikaela to nearly run over to where he was in shocking speed.

“Yuu, how…?” Mikaela’s question died in his throat as he opened the glass door and was pulled into a hug by Yuuichirou.

“I’m sorry.”

“Huh?”

“I said I’m sorry.”

Mikaela blinked before he patted at Yuuichirou awkwardly, unable to understand why he was apologizing in the first place. “... If it’s about what happened a while back, then there’s no need to apologize. My mother has always been overbearing. That much is expected.”

“No, Mika, that’s not what I meant.” Yuuichirou pulled away from the hug so that he could stare at Mikaela solemnly. “I’m apologizing because you… You were always the one pulling your weight around this issue, while I barely did anything.”

Mikaela gave Yuuichirou a confused look. “Well… That’s only natural because I initiated it in the first place…”

“Mika, we’re supposed to work as a team to make it happen.” Yuuichirou pointed out as he looked at Mikaela worriedly. “You should never handle all the burdens by yourself. This thing between us is more than just your council work, and it could affect Japan’s citizens as a whole if we’re not careful.”

“I… I know that, but what do you want me to do?” Frustration began to leak in Mikaela’s quivering voice and he clutched on Yuuichirou’s clothes like it was his lifeline. “Even if I have these ideas going on, I can’t depend on you most of the time, Yuu. I could hurt you.”

“Yes, you can. I agreed to be your partner for this; I’m not made of fucking glass, Mika. You should know this.” Yuuichirou insisted as he used both of his hands to cup Mikaela’s face, forcing the other to face him directly without looking away. “Listen to me, Mika. The moment I agreed to this, to make things work out for our families, I already accepted the consequences that could come with it. Not everything is perfect, and we’re both bound to be hurt one way or the other because of these prejudices running around.”

Mikaela sniffled as he looked at Yuuichirou with guilt in his eyes, but Yuuichirou gave him an understanding smile as he continued on.

“But, no matter what, Mika… I support your ideals, and I’ll always be by your side. We just have to think of another plan now that the first one is a bust.”

“W-What if the next one doesn’t work either?”

“Then, we’ll make another one, and another one until it succeeds, like the many times Thomas Edison refined the lightbulb all over again until it was perfect.” Yuuichirou’s smile then grew wide when heard Mikaela chuckle at the comparison. “We’ll make it work, Mika. I’ll never leave you with unfinished business. You can count on it.”

“... Thank you, Yuu.” Mikaela smiled gratefully through happy tears as the feelings of being alone disappeared into the night.

[nobody-cared-then-either]

Hi Dr. S.,

I have been communicating with R. and she gave me your contact information and referred me to you. I am disabled, and I believe I have a legally complex situation that I need more specialized help with. However, I don't really know the limits of what I'll need.

I have also been working with B. and I am trying to follow up on her recommendation to consult with a civil plaintiff attorney for my situation as far as that involves my injury and abuse I suffered because of it since I was a child. I am a Facial Disfigurement survivor since 2006, when I was 17. This resulted from a drunk driving accident in which I was the passenger in a vehicle with no airbag. I have CPTSD due to this injury, and had already been diagnosed as a child with autism. My medical recovery has been long and difficult, and I have experienced a great deal of discrimination, neglect, and abuse over my lifetime since 2006. The driver was charged with a felony for SIBV but was never convicted. I was never named as a plaintiff in his hearing. He was 18 at the time of the incident, and has a juvenile record for sexual assault that I had only recently found out about, in secret, from his victim before the incident. His sexual assault victim was his 12 year old sister.

My case is complicated. I was abused by this individual and his family after he caused my facial disfigurement while my parents neglected me until I finished highschool. I ended contact with him roughly around the end of 2008 due to his continued abuse of me as his disabled victim. I never had any legal representation of any kind in any kind of lawsuit or criminal case against him. I did not know my rights and barely escaped from his circle of influence, as a teenager, alive.

I'm living with my abusive parents, who victim blamed me, and I'm trying to get them involved with me in my therapy with B. to address the ways I feel deprived of my rights and neglected by them when this happened, bc I need their cooperation to do anything legally about any of it today, and because I am too emotionally and financially dependent on them to overcome their neglect of me since this happened.

I am also trying to go back to college to become a grad student. I graduated in 2014, and I have been the victim of some very damaging and permanent forms of discrimination where it comes to my career, and education, and I feel like I have never had access to the support and accommodations I should have had earlier in my life. I am trying to protect myself from more discrimination, today, and I think I need help establishing that I'm the victim of defamation from my previous experiences with being a grad student at GSU in 2014. I don't know how I am going to get funding if I can even get into another grad school because the abuse I experienced in my first semester of Grad school in 2014 led to me dropping out of the program and checking into a hospital because I was suicidal. I did not get a medical withdrawal, and it ruined my graduate GPA. I have had my application rejected because of the damage that did to my graduate GPA at one school and I am afraid it will prevent me from acquiring the funding I need to go out of state, now, 10 years later.

I wanted to talk to a CRC specifically about how I can get into grad school and get the funding I need for that...and that is how I came by R., who then referred me to you. The experience I am having with this recently just makes me think I need to address how bad grades in 2014 for 3 grad level classes I should have gotten medically withdrawn from is ruining my transcript and making it look like I'm a bad student.

I applied to 2 universities this year, and I am seeking help figuring out my funding for and, in one case, appealing the decision they made on one of those applications. I am not sure how to proceed.

As for everything else that is going on, I really don't know how to escape from my current situation and can't afford to on my own, so I am pretty sure I need lawyers to help. I feel trapped and ignored by my family and it has been going on like this for 10 years, and another 8 years before that. I've spent the better part of my life being tortured and I don't know how to defend myself.

Please let me know if you have any advice.

Thanks for your attention to my email.

-Zach Reynolds

[asphaltapostle]

For God's Sake, Just Sit Down to Piss

For God’s Sake, Just Sit Down to Piss

Outline

Preface

Not necessarily directed at young men of color. (Or definitely not directed at them, but at white, CIS, straight young men.)

Describing the “real” scope of my authority.

While I have not traveled outside of America whatsoever, I have traveled within it fairly extensively.

My authority is especially strong when it comes to protestant Christianity.

Function of the book.

Chapter 1: “I Don’t Care What You/They Think”

“Apathy’s Misconceptions” “Apathy Misconceived”

You do not actually want to attain a state of true apathy, trust me.

Chris Cuomo exists.

Z-Ro

Apathy is even argued for in the Christian Bible. (The opinion of other people does not matter, only God’s.)

3 Bible Verses for When You Feel Judged By Others | Bible Blog

Galatians 1:10: “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

Chapter 2: “Music Taste Through Generations”

“Boomers' Destructive Generational Tastemaking Disaster”

Quote From the Bandcamp Essay

It’s bewildering how content we are to abruptly abandon the substance music had to our teenage selves out of misconstrued justifications for our classic fainéance – actively choosing to subject our public ambiance to thousands of replays of “the best” records in favor of dipping even the most cowardly toe into unfamiliar waters, even when the opportunity cost is inherently halved – only to then have the audacity to evangelize our dilapidated conceptions of “good music” to our children as we demonize the music of their generation, depriving them of a very essential rite of their cognitive development. I can think of little more reductive, repugnant, reckless, or racist crusades as a model figure than indoctrinating your child with an inherent distaste for their own culture, and nothing more deeply alarming to hear from the mouth of someone born in the 21st century than shit like “Queen was better than any rapper will ever be,” or “real musicianship will die forever with Eric Clapton.” It’s unfair and unnatural: imagine if your high school classmates had consistently turned up their scrunched nose at the living whole of rock & roll, declaring Scott Joplin to be the last musician they could stand.

Consider if the industry-wide customer experience standard for the musical ambiance in 1970s American eating and drinking establishments was entirely comprised of works by John Phillip Souza, and the most prevalent cultural revolution manifested itself something like the following: In countless popular films set in the time (and the stories told today by your parents of their youths that informs them,) a group of popular high school boys – generally three longtime childhood friends and a single addition from the previous summer with an Army Dad and a moderate bad boy aura that’s made him one of the school’s notoriously attractive students and the somewhat-abusive leader in the pack. After spending some time trying to convince the other three (the crucial moment for his case being the bad kid’s rare moment of sincerity trope) of its guaranteed social, sexual and financial ROI, they seal their agreement to start a band with a four-way saliva slap. Imagine if in the progression of this exhausted old tale, it remained entirely classic (and boring) when it faded to a “THREE MONTHS LATER…” ceiling shot of the four the in full, gleaming, performance-spec get-up of the presidential marching band in their garage, and it was revealed that they’d they practiced “The Star Spangled Banner” every night just to make the girls swoon in the film’s resolution with an encore of “America the Beautiful” at an unsanctioned (and very patriotic!) house party. Would you have made out on your first date with someone in your 80s high school Chemistry class after they’d was about but suffice it to say that it’s absolutely fucking bonkers how often I encounter “Sweet Home Alabama” (and other tunes I’ve already heard hundreds of times throughout the first third of my existence, conservatively) dripping down from the overhead speakers in all manner of big retail stores, where it’s inappropriate and unwelcome. Even from the generous assumption that every single one of them is an objective masterwork of composition, the amount of affection the American music listening audience has for the same 500 singles is on par with our rampant gun violence in terms of our unanimous tolerance for ridiculously illogical habits. I’ve been sitting in a cute, moderately trendy coffee shop on the corner of the major avenue of access to my cute, moderately trendy Portland neighborhood for an hour now, and I’ve recognized every single one of the tracks played just a bit too loudly on the stereo. I’ve been sick of them all since Middle School. That one Bow Bow Chicka Chicka thing… How very charming. “The 70s, the 80s… the one-hit wonder channel!”

Contrary to the popular hipster narrative we’ve just defeated, it’s not the popularity of the lineup that makes these experiences so distasteful, but their regularity. It doesn’t take a doctor of psychology to observe that tireless exposure to any given work of art inevitably erodes its value, yet we continue to expend resources saturating most mundane spaces in our society with an unyielding regurgitation of the same brackish pop culture symbols as if we’re trying to either induce a canonical vomit, intentionally obliterate the Yelp! reviews for a distant future museum’s “North America Enters the 21st Century” exhibit, or both.

This issue is not unique to American society nor to men, really, but is entirely the sickness of white boomers and gen Xers. It is an anomaly that has genuinely and profoundly perturbed me for virtually the entirety of my existence as a culturally literate entity - certainly longer than any of the other disturbances addressed in this volume.

The process of jazz becoming mainstream (which I think it had definitely by the 1940s.)

“Boomers' Destructive Generational Tastemaking Disaster”

Catcalling

Clothes

Stuff we should keep to ourselves

Credits

“I’m laughing at you and the best part is you won’t truly understand why, in any deep and meaningful way, for another 20 years.” - JustSomeGuy on Mastodon

[cpblaylock-blog]

Thank the Ones Who Got You There

I have had my fair share of coaches and mentors in life and probably still have one or two that will emerge as I move past mid-life. Recently, I learned that one of my coaches will be inducted into the Furman University Athletic Hall of Fame which prompted me to reflect on all of the coaches I was fortunate enough to have and what life lesson I took away from my time with them.

I did not begin playing golf until the age of 13. Prior to that, I played anything and everything my mother could sign me up for and get to for practice. Little league boys baseball, YMCA swim team, gymnastics you name it, I played it. As I got older, my father felt I needed to focus on more feminine pursuits so I stopped playing baseball and picked up tennis and golf. It didn’t take much for me to be hooked because I just loved smashing the ball. There was absolutely zero finesse in my game but I knew enough to make me want to get better. My first lesson was with Alan Pinson, an assistant professional at Coosa Country Club at the time. When I hit the 1st ball, Alan’s eyes lit up and he said “oh boy. Not sure I’ve seen a teenage girl hit a ball quite like that”. For the next 5 years, I continued to take lessons with and work for Alan. Late afternoon rounds, junior tournaments, washing golf carts, and picking up range balls were fantastic opportunities for him to dispense advice about golf, boys, school and my future. His advice was always laced with laughter and love making it easy to me want to be there. Fast forward 15 years and I had played in every professional major on both the European Tour and LPGA, 4 NCAA National Championships and various other “pressure cooker” tournaments and I can tell you the game is the same as it was at age 14 and his advice still applicable. Alan taught me to be authentic, laugh at your bad shots, be grateful for the good ones and always keep perspective of what is important. Alan has an infectious laugh and wonderful sense of humor; understanding what golf is for people and that it can provide the basis for lifelong friendships and good times.

Being a 5-sport athlete in high-school, I could list quite a few coaches but there is one who was so much more than a coach for me as an insecure adolescent female athlete. David Rhodes was my high school basketball and golf coach for all 4 years. From him, I learned many valuable lessons but most importantly David taught me that father’s don’t have to be biological, that a man of faith can be remarkably powerful in the lives of all of those around him and that compassion is one of God’s greatest blessing. For me, Coach Rhodes provided a safe space and refuge at a time when I was terrified of peer pressure, boys, and not being feminine. In the late 1980’s, to be a competitive successful female athlete brought certain stereotypes that were tough to deal with at 14 years old. They do not bother me now because I have had a lifetime of experience to know that stereotypes are tools of the inferior and those who lack depth. My youngest son is named after David and I can only hope that he grows into the kind, compassionate, man of faith that was such a blessing to me when I needed it most.

Let’s just establish that I am competitive, regardless of the circumstance or sport. I absolutely hate to lose and will endeavor to practice anything until I am the best or at least I feel I have reached my potential. At Furman University, I found a coach who totally understood how to motivate me beyond my own expectation. Mic Potter recruited athletes and made no bones about being able to “turn them into great players”. This was definitely the case with me as I completed my freshman year with a scoring average in the low 80’s, less than acceptable. At the All-American banquet at the NCAA National Championship at Arizona State my freshman year, the lightbulb went off. “Mic, why are these people being recognized? What do you have to do to get up there?” Mic’s response was direct and on point - “these are the best of the best, the All-Americans”. I got it and for the next three years, Mic guided and directed me to a path of being a 3-time All American, collegiate tournament wins and a career in professional golf for the next 10. What I took away from my time with Mic is something I remind myself of quite frequently, be your own motivation, work harder than anyone else, and enjoy the results of your effort. My professional career path would have been drastically different had it not been for Mic and I am only 1 of hundreds of women who can say that about such an incredible man and coach.

If you find yourself in the role of coach, teacher, mentor or leader of young people remember, the impact you make during this period in your student-athletes’ lives may not be visible until they are almost 50. I only regret not having the appreciation and perspective I have now during the times I worked with these men but I sure hope they know I cherish the time and lessons I had with each of them.

[losthomunculus]

Online Safety Relevant to the Current State of the Internet

On twitter I made a tweet about how online safety lessons in school can be very out of touch but that the advice of people who are familiar with the current internet shouldn't be disregarded. So here's my informal collection of online safety tips

Sources: unrestricted internet access since elementary school (not recommended), being a formerly involuntarily home bound person for several years that amassed way too much online experience

This could possibly hold upsetting reminders to people who had bad experiences online including mentions of grooming and emotional manipulation so please proceed with caution!

Information Sharing

Make an online pseudonym for public profiles and websites.

Don’t feel like you have to list everything about you for the world to see.

Sometimes it’s not a question of “can this information be used to locate and identify me irl?”, but simply “do I want this information publicly available and linked to my online persona?”

Unlike offline, being online leaves a constant trail of who you were accessible at all times. People are constantly growing and changing. Try to limit the information you share so you can ditch that trail and start over if need be.

Sharing information with people you make friends with and trust is a judgement call on your part, but always be on the safe side and be protective of your information.

Start as cautious as possible with online safety. Any risks or judgement calls can come later when you are 1. aware of the risks, 2. ready to address them if they occur, and 3. have gathered plenty of information instead of doing something blindly and hoping for the best.

Do not share your triggers publicly, they can very easily be used against you. Instead use websites with a large amount of filtering options to curate your online experience. If you are going to share them, only do it privately with people you trust.

Importance of Boundaries

It doesn’t matter how mature you are, don’t enter age limited spaces you don’t qualify for. It’s disrespectful to the boundaries of the people who made that space. Boundaries like this exist for the comfort of both sides involved.

Just because you can “handle it” doesn’t mean it’s good for you. Desensitization is not something to brag about.

Venting or making r18 posts as a minor on a public account is VERY dangerous. Intense emotional vulnerability is something manipulators will look for as a way to get to you. The same with sexual jokes to develop your comfort talking about those topics casually and eventually escalating the situation. If you are going to talk about such things please keep that in private conversations with people you trust in your age group.

Note the difference between public and private online space. Tweeting something on a public account is not the same as having a conversation in the cafeteria with your friends.

If an adult tries talking to you about r18, run the other way. Doesn’t matter how cool you are, it says something weird about THEM if they’re willing to talk to a minor about that stuff.

If someone( like 3+ years, honestly depends on how old you are) older than you wouldn't be comfortable saying what they're saying to you in front of other people (like a teacher or guardian), that's suspicious as hell. Run in the other direction.

The younger you are, the more age gaps matter. There's a bigger difference in development between a 13 year old and a 17 year old than there is between a 20 year old and a 24 year old. It helps to try to contextualize it with real people instead of numbers. Instead of thinking "oh just 4 years? that's not that weird" consider "oh. that would be like a freshman (13/14) dating a senior (17/18). yikes."

Be just as wary of people your own age talking about things that make you uncomfortable. Just like irl, sometimes you’ll meet people your age that are hurtful.

Friends complain to each other and talk about their issues, that alone is fine. But when people are doing it without permission, draw a line. When people are making it feel like you’re responsible for maintaining their mental health, you need to draw a line. When it starts to effect your mental health, PLEASE DRAW A LINE! I know it feels like your responsibility sometimes, but it’s not. You cannot be there for others if you’re not taking care of yourself first and foremost.

Don’t be afraid to block people. Even for petty reasons. It’s good to block people. Don’t force yourself to see stuff you don’t want to see.

Being Constantly Online

The 24 hour news cycle is not a good thing to follow 24/7. Taking social responsibility is a good thing, but your brain is NOT built to worry about every issue in the world at once. One strategy I use for staying sane is I try to only check the news once a day, and if something needs more attention to set aside an amount of time I’m going to focus on it before I need to take time to step back.

Touch grass. Not literally, unless you can in which case I highly suggest it, sometimes it’s just good to lay in a field. What I mean is you need to dedicate a good portion of your time to being offline (sleep does not count). What your offline time looks like is going to differ depending on your level of ability, but even if you are house bound it’s important to build some hobbies that don’t rely on the internet. Talking to people offline is also a good goal if possible, even just to your housemates.

Social etiquette greatly differs online and offline and sometimes the reminder that were all just Some People gets lost behind the numbers and the fabricated personas. Keep in mind the difference in how information is shared without forgetting that the fact we are all people remains the same.

Be generous with your etiquette. You will avoid a lot of stress if you conduct yourself with the same politeness you would have in an offline interaction. Master the art of "minding your own business" for your own sake.

Arguments and Competition

As soon as you can, you need to internalize the fact that leaving an argument is not losing.

It is inevitable you will be exposed to many people who disagree with you. Some people only want to argue to rile you up. Sometimes that’s not their intention, but it’s what they’re doing. You do not have to remain in conversation with people, especially if they’re not interested in actually coming to an understanding. Even if they are interested, sometimes they just suck!! Leave!! You can leave!!

On that note, sometimes you are going to get valid criticism and it’s going to hurt. That is part of learning. If someone says you messed up and did something hurtful, take a second to step back from your defensiveness and consider: intent ≠ effect. Apologize, repair what you can, and move forward with the ability to do better in the future. You’re going to mess up every once in awhile, it’s inevitable.

To summarize the past two points: don't waste your time on unnecessary hostility but don't close yourself into an echo chamber either. Debates should be about learning.

Sometimes people are not going to like you. This happens offline too but people tend to be a lot more blunt online. Sometimes people dislike you for no reason or for really petty reasons. That’s not your problem, move on.

Don’t actively seek out people you don’t like or who don’t like you to argue with. Whether or not your side is the “right side” doesn’t matter, it’s going to cause you so much unnecessary stress. Feel free to keep posting your opinions on your own profile but don’t seek out unnecessary conflict.

This is a different type of competition than previously mentioned, but be aware of the danger of comparing yourself to other people. Especially if you’re a creative or student, DO NOT GET SWEPT UP IN THE GRIND CULTURE. It’s more subtle in some places than others, but anytime you see the notion that you should be working yourself to the bone be VERY critical. Also be critical of any online cultures (such as gaming and art communities) that brag about unhealthy habits or act like it’s ~part of the culture~ (ex: all nighters, not taking breaks, getting hurt. Any activity that neglects health to work toward a goal).

Not just grind culture, any community of subculture that shares anti recovery sentiments is a huge red flag. Even if they're joking, it's not worth the risk of internalizing those statements.

Everyone’s social media presence is to some degree doctored because it’s a purposefully selected collection of what they allow you to see. It’s fine to like the persona you see being displayed, but never forget that it is not reflective of the entire person. Everyone online is JUST SOME PERSON. Do not forget that and start holding yourself to a standard you can’t even see every side of.

By posting online you are opening yourself to criticism. Whether or not it’s justified can vary, but either way it’s going to happen. Mute stuff, go private, disable comments, etc if you need to.

Misc Tidbits

these are technically just general info that is also good for offline but I have seen things that make me think people online need the extra reminder.

Learn what cults are, how they recruit, and what they do to their members. I'm not kidding. This is particularly relevant at the moment because of current societal unrest and widespread loneliness. No one is immune to cult propaganda, and not every cult is based on pre established religion or family. Many exist ONLINE and are able to manipulate people without ever meeting face to face. (learn more: Loneliness as a Pandemic: The Dangers of Online Cult

Familiarize yourself with the concept of pseudoscience. Please familiarize yourself with the concept of pseudoscience and then learn how to identify pseudoscience. (learn more: Karl Popper, Science, & Pseudoscience: Crash Course Philosophy #8)

Q. How do I know if a source is reliable?

Final Thoughts

It's important people of ALL ages learn these lessons, because the internet is constantly changing and we are all vulnerable when in the presence of other people.

Be cautious and stay safe

[beels-burger-babe]

Of Jealousy and Friendship - Pt. 2

**I'd like to first take a second thank @obey-mes-treasure for being so awesome being a beta reader for me for this! Your input really helped! Thank you so much 💓

Also THANK YOU EVERYONE SO SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE YOU'VE GIVEN THIS FIC, I'm so blown away that you guys really like this that much! I love you all ❤❤

GN! MC

Summary: MC makes a lower demon friend who may secretly be hoping for something more than friendship. The Demon Bros are not about to let this happen.

TW: Scenting (NOT SEX! I REPEAT! It is intimate, yes, but we’re just cuddling here. I put this just in case)

Part One: Here, Epilogue: Here

Previously on Of Jealousy and Friendship:

With another nod, the demon, Cane left, leaving you alone with six of the seven brothers bubbling with jealousy, anger, and concern.  

The moment Cane was out of sight, Mammon, still in his demon form, grabbed onto your wrist and began to drag you inside. 

You yelped at the tightness of his grip and tried to pull your hand away. “Hey! Mammon, stop it! That hurts!” 

The second born merely growled and tossed you onto the couch. As you looked up you were met by the fierce glares of several of the brothers and looks of disappointments from the rest.

“What the hell were ya thinkin’?” Mammon wasn’t shouting. He wasn’t screaming. His voice remained low and steady with a dangerous venom that dripped off every word. “Ya can’t just go frolickin’ through the Devildom with some second-rate demon ya just met. Especially not when ya haven’t told any of us where ya went or how long you’d be out. You could’ve been killed tonight, MC! And none of us would’ve known!”

You returned his glare as you shifted yourself to sit up on the couch. “In case you’ve forgotten, I’m allowed to make my own decisions. You guys don’t control me! If I want to make friends and hang out after school, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.” 

“We aren’t trying to control you, MC,” Beelzebub calmly stated. He stared down at you with a concerned frown and furrowed brows. “We just want to make sure that you’re safe. You know from experience how dangerous it is down here, and we want to keep you from getting hurt any more than you already have.” 

“Besides that demon, Cane I believe you called him,” Satan began, his arms still crossed in restrained frustration, “was clearly after something a little more than friendship.” 

You blinked at Satan in confusion before glancing at the others, who all seemed to be awaiting your response. “Wh-What...What are you talking about? Cane’s just a friend.” 

Belphegor tsked and rolled his eyes. “Ugh, Diavolo, please tell me you are not this stupid. He’s saying that the pest obviously had a crush on you or at the very least wanted to get into your pants.” 

“Which we can’t entirely blame him for, I mean, look at you, darling, you’re delicious,” Asmodeus said  matter-of-factly as you squawked in protest. “But he stepped out of place,” the Avatar of Lust’s eyes flashed as he gritted his teeth. 

You felt your confusion grow more and more inside of you as questions swarmed inside your head. “I don’t understand.” 

Lucifer sighed and looked over at Beelzebub. “Go get Levi. He’ll want to be here for this discussion.” 

You frowned as Beel left the room and looked over at Lucifer. “What discussion? You guys are making no sense!” You ran a frustrated hand through your hair as you groaned. “I get it. I should’ve been more cautious and let you guys know in advance. I’m sorry,” your eyes desperately searched Lucifer’s gaze for answers. “But there’s really no need for this...this intervention! I’m fine! He didn’t hurt me. I’m-” 

“Scented.” 

You whipped around at Levi’s voice.  He stood in the entry way with Beel, his face bright red as he held a hand over his mouth and nose and shakily pointed at you. “He scented you. Y-You let him scent you?” 

Lucifer face palmed himself and slowly let his hand fall off his face in clear annoyance. “We were just about to get to that, Leviathan.” Lucifer’s black and red eyes found your own as he raised a single eyebrow. “What do you know about scenting?” 

Your head tilted, even more dumbfounded than before. “You mean that were-wolf thing?” 

“WHAT?! NO, IT’S NOT A WERE-WOLF THING YOU NORMIE!!!” Levi shouted, clearly flustered by the topic. “Scenting i-is a... i-i-it’s...when two people...GAAAAAH!” he let out a shout as he threw himself into one of the chairs and hid his face in a cushion. “Someone else explain it, please! I-I can’t do this! It’s too high level!”

The brothers all exchanged glances, all in varying states of blush, as they silently debated on who would explain the apparently taboo subject. 

Eventually it was Lucifer who cleared his throat and seemed to be attempting to appear unbothered by all of this. “As you know demons are very possessive creatures. We don’t particularly like when others meddle with things that either belong to us or that we are fond of. As a result of this behavior and our heightened sense of smell, when a demon finds a person whom they are greatly fond of, we have the tendency to transfer our scent onto that person’s being, clothing, and belongings. It’s meant to be a consensual act of intimacy and a mark of one’s close bond with someone. It strictly marks that person as “off-limits” to all other demons.”

You blinked a couple times as you took in the information, your cheeks heating up. “A-And you said Cane did that to me?” 

You opened your mouth to argue, but then was suddenly hit by a flashback of the two of you dancing at the club. You could remember the music pulsing around the two of you and the way that Cane kept holding onto your shoulder, waist, or wrist with lingering touches. Thinking back on it, you remembered finding it odd that someone was so touchy with someone they just met, but blamed it on the cramped space that the dance floor provided. Your stomach twisted at the newly revealed implication. “S-So he was scenting me without me even knowing?” The brothers’ concern and anger suddenly made a lot more sense as a wave of guilt and unease washed over you. 

Mammon huffed, avoiding eye contact with you. “Exactly. The guys an asshole. I’ve been wanting to scent ya since we made a pact but ya don’t see me gettin’ all touchy feely!” He froze, with wide eyes as he realized what he just said. “I-I-I mean, what?! Pfft! Who would want to scent a human like you! Not-Not the GREAT Mammon, that’s for sure! I-It makes so sense!” 

The brothers collectively sighed. “Mammon, you absolute moron.” Belphegor mumbled as he shook his head. 

“OI! SHUT IT!” 

Asmodeus laughed and plopped himself into the seat beside you. “Please Mammon. You being love-sick over MC is old news. There’s no use even trying to cover it up. But even so, we all know there’s no way you’d be the first one MC chooses to scent them,” he draped an arm over your shoulder and leaned in close, “It’d obviously be me, right~?”

Levi scoffed from where he was still hiding behind the cushion on the chair. “Wh-Whatever. Not that it even matters now. That nobody of a demon already scented them. Now none of us will get to be their first...” He squeaked as he trailed off, suddenly shooting up from the chair. “I-I mean the first to scent you! N-Not anything weird! Not that you would do either of those things with a yucky otaku like me. I mean that kind of stuff only happens in animes.”

The brothers all went quiet after the first part of Levi’s rambling and seemed to become lost in their own train of thought. Your jaw dropped a little as realization finally clicked in. They hadn’t just been concerned about you missing or angry about you being so reckless... “You all wanted to scent me,” the room froze at your words. “That’s why you were all so frustrated when I came back with him. You were jealous.”

“What?! N-No!” Mammon sputtered in defense, weakly glaring at you. “I don’t get jealous! I’m Mammon! Avatar of Greed, second born of the Lords of Devildom! I can have anything I want! I especially don’t get jealous over wimpy, pathetic-” “Yes we were jealous.” Lucifer admitted, effectively cutting off Mammon and surprising everyone. He met your eyes and smirked. “Is that particularly surprising? I thought we had all been quite clear with our fondness of you.”

“Scenting you would have many benefits. It would help keep you safer when you’re alone. It’d also establish that, similar to how we all are yours through the pacts, you’d then be seen as ours by all demonic beings,” Satan smiled as he placed a hand under his chin, seemingly unaffected by the implications of his own words. “The idea is certainly appealing, don’t you think?” 

You gaped at the group of them as your face became hot with blush. You weren’t expecting this. Even as you threw the idea into the air, you were not expecting the emotionally constipated brothers that you had become so fond of to actually admit that they cared about you.  “You all...H-How would that even work?”

“Well we’d get his nasty, normie scent off of you for starters,”  Levi mumbled not quite as quietly as he meant to, and squeaked when he realized just how loud his words were. “I-It’s true! Scenting them will be more difficult since they’re already coated in his scent!” 

Beel nodded scrunching up his nose. “It does smell bad. It really doesn’t mix well with your scent at all.” 

Asmo nuzzled his head against your shoulder. “We’d have to cuddle you all night to cover it up. Not that any of us would mind~”  You yelped as Belphie plopped himself by your other side and put his head in your lap. “I suppose I can just sleep with you as my pillow.”

You opened and closed your mouth several times as you felt your heart leap into your throat with all the sudden attention. After all the revelations of the night, the sudden contact just seemed too overwhelming.

“That is if you would allow this, MC.” Lucifer sharply cut in, causing Asmo and Belphie to stiffen. “It’s like you said. We don’t control you. We will continue to respect that and you regardless of your decision,”

Belphegor huffed and looked up at you. “Well? Are you gonna let us scent you or not?” 

The air tensed as each of the brothers waited with bated breath for your answer.

You gulped as you thought about it for a minute. Being in the center of a cuddle pile of seven of the most powerful demons of the Devildom wouldn’t be that bad would it? Besides, it’s not like you didn’t love them all in their own special way. They annoyed you from time to time, and knew how to push your buttons, but at the end of the day, you all cared for another and you could depend on that. You knew that no matter what happened, they would always look out for you, and by the sounds of things this whole scenting thing would allow them to keep you safe even if they weren’t around. You could feel your heart warm at the sentiment of it all. 

Your decision made, you smiled softly at them. 

“I think I’d like that.”

Asmodeus let out a cheer and instantly starting snuggling up close to your arm as he nuzzled his face into your neck, causing you to giggle and gently push him back a little.

Belphie shrugged and closed his eyes as he laid back down on your lap. He was obviously trying to act as though he didn’t care, but the small smile that graced his lips gave him away in an instant.

Mammon’s face became extremely flushed as he shoved Asmodeus off of you. “Oi! Don’t hog, MC! Y-You’re not the only one here!” He avoided your eyes as he shakily took your hand into his and stared at the two of them intertwined.

Asmodeus snorted and merely moved over to the other arm, “If you’re going to claim one of the prime cuddling spots Mammon, at least do something that’s actually effective in scenting them.” You made the choice to mentally block out Mammon as he started arguing with Asmo.

Beel stood awkwardly beside you. “I’ll, uh, I’ll take up too much space for the others if I go by your side. So I was thinking maybe it’d be best if I sat behind you?”

You smiled fondly at the gentle giant and, with a bit of effort and complaining from the others, moved forward enough to make room for Beel to sit down behind you. Once comfy, you felt his two strong arms wrap around your waist and pull you against his chest with a satisfied hum.

Satan pushed up the sleeves of his jacket and took a seat beside Mammon. “Since Mammon’s too idoitic to scent this side properly, I suppose I will have to suffice,” he smirked as he tilted his head. “If you don’t mind that is?”

You huffed in amusement, much to Mammon’s displeasure, and nodded in consent.

Satan grinned brightly and began to rub his inner wrist along your shoulder and neck. He inhaled gently and sighed in relief, seemingly pleased with the result of his action before resting his head on your shoulder and continuing his ministrations. “Contact from one’s inner wrist to another’s neck or wrist is one of the most effective ways to scent someone. You can rest assured that you won’t smell anything like him by the time we are through.” 

You chuckled and patted Satan’s head. “Thank you, Satan.”

You glanced over at Levi as he shifted from foot to foot looking over at you anxiously. “Are you going to join us, Leviathan?”

His face turned bright red as he tensed at the question. “A-Are you sure you want a gross shut-in like me to scent you? C-Cause everyone will know! You won’t be able to h-h-hide it at school or pretend like it d-didn’t happen or-”

“Levi?” His head shot up as he looked at you once more. He gave him a reassuring smile and patted your other leg that wasn’t being used as a pillow by Belphie. “Get over here, please.”

He sputtered for a second before nodding, and nearly tripping over himself as he rushed over to the cuddle pile and hesitantly placed his head on your leg.

You could feel your heart flutter at being surrounded and held by the demons that you had come to love, but it still wasn’t perfect yet. You looked over at Lucifer, who stood watching the group with an uncharacteristically soft expression, in confusion.

Lucifer understood your thoughts without you even having to speak them. “I’m in no rush. Now that we have your consent, I’m sure there will be another time when I can personally scent you without the annoyances of my brothers being around.” He stood and began to leave the room. “Enjoy your night. I will see you tomo-”

“Lucifer.” You commanded, causing him to tense and freeze on the spot. “Get your pompous ass over here.”

The demon sighed and turned around, making his way back over to you. He moved between you and Asmo, and nudged Beel to scootch over, before settling in slightly behind you, nuzzling in close. “You really are insufferable.” He mumbled as he pressed a gentle kiss to your shoulder.

You grinned, feeling joy and content buzz within you at finally being in the arms of your found family. In that moment, everything felt right and whole.

[han-shinsuke]

| k y o j u r o r e n g o k u

He kissed so good.

I rarely gave attention to opposite sex. It’s not like it needed to be given but I don’t think anyone would be thrilled to know that someone like me would have had a crush. To say it is a normal occurrence, is a fact. I had few men I liked and they were all fictitious. Those experiences weren’t bad at all, it was fun. Really. They’re the standards. Well, not until an actual person, a living and breathing man caught my curiosity. He surpassed the standards that those men had established. Sadly, I could not have him. Kyojuro Rengoku would not waste his time dealing with me. However, since I’ve got time to spare, I wrote him a simple note that stated my feelings for him.

[ Kyo, I like you very much. Please, don’t be threatened. ]

When we crossed path in the school cafeteria that same day of my confession, I pretended I didn’t see him. He had that look like he wanted to talk but I brushed the thought off my mind. Maybe, it was just my imagination.

“Y/N,” mom called outside my bedroom. Today is saturday, “someone is here.”

I paused my morning routine and opened the door. “I didn’t invite a friend over, ma.”

“I’ll tell him to come up here, don’t do anything stupid, Y/N. He looks so fine.”

Before I could even ask, my mother left me. When she returned, Kyojuro’s behind her.

“Why are you here?” I asked, surprised.

Kyojuro just smiled. He stepped into my room. My mother shut the door closed and I heard her laughing as she walked away.

“Hm,” his eyes raked me from head to toe then stopped on my chest. “Should you be wearing a bra or a nip pad when entertaining a visitor?”

That was when I realised, I got nothing underneath my white shirt. It’s saturday! I don’t wear bra on weekends!

To cover up the embarrassment I felt, I crossed my arms on my chest and sighed.

“I’m sure you’ve seen plenty of tits, Kyo,” I said.

He laughed at my comment and looked for something he could sit on. His eyes found my bed. He sat there.

“Uh, just few, Y/N,” he confirmed. “Anyway, do you really like me? If yes, then why were you avoiding me? Is that how a girl in love should act around the person she likes?”

“How do you want me to react then? Follow you everywhere?”

I really do regretted being braless at this moment. The room temperature is not helping. It’s actually making my buds hardened and visibly noticeable against my clothes.

“No, just act normal.” Kyojuro raked his eyes all over me again. A smirk appearing on his face. “Can I kiss you?”

“Huh?!”

“You are the first person to like me like really like me not like just because you want to sleep with me–”

I shut him off by pressing my lips on his.

“I like you, Kyojuro.”

I pressed again. He opened his mouth and pulled me on his lap. Kyojuro brushed his fingers against my chest and I gasped from the contact.

“They’re hard, Y/N,” he teased, lips ghosting around my lips. It was so tempting and I wanted his lips so bad against mine so I was the first one to cave in to his mouth. I nibbled on his lower lip while gripping his forearm. Kyojuro chuckled at my eagerness before deciding to return the kiss. He pulled me again. Tightly. Tugging my head down to his face so he could kiss me better. He used his tongue and teeth. They’re sharp against mine. I was so into it, kissing him and not even thinking of stopping.

“Kyo!” I gasped his name when he pinched my left nipple and then laughed from my reaction. I unattached my lips from his but he went for it right after I could even move further away from him.

His other hand pushed my head down to his so my mouth could meet his again. He gave me another kiss. This time, a very torrid one. His tongue is everywhere, against my own tongue, on my lower lip, on my chin then back again to play and suck with mine. I moaned and gasped and let out everything I could. Kyojuro was so good in it. If it weren’t for his burning palm on my abdomen, I wouldn’t think of stopping.

“K–Kyo,” I looked directly into his eyes and said, “let us not get caught by my mother.”

Kyojuro laughed softly and kissed my cheek, “okay, we’ll find a place for us.”

[boncorner]

Character Analysis: High School Karamatsu

So I've been thinking about baby Karamatsu, and once again Osomatsu-san does so much with the motto "Show, don't tell" when it comes to this boy. I saw a tag on one of my pictures saying that if teen!Karamatsu's only trait that gets recognised is his crying they feel bad for him, and I can't agree more on that!! I'll joke about it sure, but let's actually talk about what we find out about Karamatsu's teen years.

First of all I wanna address the episode 23 from season 3, "Friend", before we deep-dive into the movie.

"Friend"

In this episode we get to see all of the characters' personalities re-told from Choromatsu's POV. And you know how Choromatsu tends to see his brothers a bit... Exaggeratedly. Just see "Karamatsu and Brothers", where he does impressions of the others, and Karamatsu doesn't even understand who he's trying to be, because he sees his brothers in a much more gentle way than Choromatsu does.

So when Choromatsu thinks of Todomatsu, he's super tiny

And he establishes himself as an unreliable narrator at the end, where he

When he thinks of Ichimatsu, his voice is high pitched much unlike the movie, and his shift into depression-mode is much faster too

[spoilers]

Admits to not even having a friend, he was completely made up.

[spoilers end]

So I bring this up of course, because Karamatsu is described as a scaredy-cat who can't even handle holding a conversation. I'm not saying this is necessarily false, but...

Maybe it's a little more toned down than this. After all, he seems to be very low-key in the movie.

Confidence

Karamatsu's confidence, or rather, his lack of one, has been confirmed by word of God before. Literally.

And it's interesting that it has almost never been stated outright, save for the earlier mentioned episode "Karamatsu and Brothers", where Choromatsu calls him out. Otherwise it's always been a "show don't tell" with him, it can actually be difficult to glean this from his character if you don't know what you're looking for. After all, he's called a narcissist over and over, he's so full of himself all the time! But is he really? I've said this over and over, but this "act" is most likely just him trying to be true to himself and feel good about himself, so it's not necessarily a false picture of himself, but more an exaggerated one that he hopes will boost that poor confidence of his.

Remember how he was in drama club? We'll get back to that so let's put a pin in it for now 📍

What we see

In the movie, Karamatsu is the person that we see the least of what he is like in the company of others, but at the same time, the entire movie is revolving around him. This is his memory, his regret, and ultimately, it's about him getting closure. But even so, we don't ever "learn" what he was like in the same way that we do the others. We don't get funny scenes or examples, but again, everything is unsaid. Shown to us, but never explained. You just have to fill in the blanks yourself.

Yes. He does cry a lot.

It's not something that Karamatsu would subconsciously hide in his memory world. So in a fair observation, we can determine that Karamatsu was indeed a crybaby and easily startled, anxious, and generally unsociable.

We also see this in official art

Karamatsu has for a long time been pointed out to be a crybaby when he was little, because he generally used to be one in Osomatsu-kun. This solidifies this claim, and so I believe his reaction to the whole incident at school where they all fell apart went like this:

• He loses his support network - He is suddenly left to fend for himself, his already frail nature grew, and his social anxiety really took off. Getting teary-eyed or outright crying from even just the littlest thing when you're at your lowest is part of the anxiety-experience, most of us know this. It's not the same for everyone, but it's safe to say that his anxiety was pretty damn bad.

• Isolation - Not knowing how to break out of his shell and attempt to become his own person like his brothers do, he can't let go of what they had, and he feels himself slipping away. He doesn't know how to speak to them all, nor anybody else when he doesn't have his brothers by his side. So it's safe to assume that he had exactly 0 friends back then.

• Sense of hopelessness - We often see Karamatsu staring out into the air, reflecting on his situation, but he never actually does anything about it. And when he tries to, he actually fails. Despite his confidence being nearly non-existent, he still managed to ask them all to meet him to talk about the letter, and I think that does say something about him.

• He still loves his brothers - Again, despite everything, he managed to gather them all together, because his brothers mean everything to him. He just can't let go of them, and that's also why he just can't think of doing anything without them. That's why he doesn't try to become somebody else, or try to impress others. That stuff doesn't matter.

• Then he snaps - He has enough of it, and ends up snapping at his brothers, causing their fight to escalate.

Acting

I will never get enough of baby Karamatsu acting. Ever.

Anyway - We all knew he was in drama club when he was younger, and this is the one thing that we see him actually do to explore his interests. And it's strange isn't it, how somebody so socially anxious would decide to join drama club of all things... Unless it's because he wanted to reinvent himself.

Again, we don't see him do it during the movie's runtime, we only see the others, but we do see this in the credits. Doing a show, don't tell, so that we can figure out ourselves why he would suddenly do something like that. He wanted to build up his confidence, or maybe even pretend to be somebody else for a moment. However it is clear that he never got a chance to actually try this out until he got older, and he managed to sort out his anxiety somewhat.

Do you roleplay? It can be nice to get out of your own shoes for a spell and be somebody else, take a break from real life and play somebody completely different from yourself, or maybe even somebody who is quite a lot like you, but you get to decide what happens in their life. You might even get to experience things that you normally never would have gotten the chance to do.

High school Karamatsu is a deeply complex character, and there's a lot more to him than meets the eye. You just don't get it handed to you, you need to be observant, just like with him when he's older, when it's all an act.

[superhero--imagines]

Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here! / Part 5 Here! / Part 6 Here! / Part 7 Here! / Part 8 Here! / Part 9 Here! / Part 10 Here! / Part 11 Here! / Part 12 Here!

A/N: Shout out to @ideas-for-you-to-adopt​ for inspiring/writing a lot of the headcanons used for the “Bella Suspicion” part of this chapter!

I’m posting this a day early, because, well I’m flakey like that

* You spear another piece of pineapple, your teeth grinding together

* “I think that sounds perfect!” Lauren squeals lightly grasping Bella’s shoulder, Bella gives a small smile in return.

* You know what isn’t perfect?

* The fact that nothing is going according to plan.

* It’s already a month in and NOTHING has happened. You stab another piece of pineapple, sticking it into your mouth

* You’ve hung back in the school parking lot everyday for a MONTH, you were even late to cheer practice once, just to see if the “Tyler Van Accident”  happened.

* Only it never did, and you didn’t know why until Lauren confided that she and Tyler had been hooking up lately.

* As in hooking up at her house after school before her parents came home.

* Of course it’s not going to happen when Tyler’s ditching his last period to drive to her house

* What a mess

* You chew the pineapple carefully, just like a human would. Because even though Bella knows LITERALLY NOTHING. She somehow suspects everything.

* You watch her from the corner of your eye, making polite conversation with Angela about biology next period.

* The amount of questions she has about you is ridiculous

* How did you meet Edward? How does your family know the Cullen’s? Where are you adoptive parents now? If they’re back in the states why haven’t you gone to live with them?

* It’s literally never ending. And that’s just her trying to poke holes in your story.

* You’re not even going to start with all the stuff she’s commented on your physical appearance

* “Hey don’t you think it’s weird they all have gold eyes?” You had heard Bella quietly ask Jessica when she thought you couldn’t hear

* “Not really, they’ve got like six kids, so when one kid needs something more of them do too. (Y/N) told me Alice wanted color contacts so Dr. Cullen just bought some for all of them.”

* And then the week before that, while you were doing a stunt at a basketball game Bella said:

* “Aren’t they like, too strong?” You were lifting up a girl all on your own.

* “Oh yeah- I guess you never saw the video, apparently they’re jacked.” Conner says, with a shrug.

* “Yeah they heard working out helps with stress when they were like 12 and just never stopped.” Mike adds absentmindedly

* And if that wasn’t enough she’s even said this a few weeks before that:

* “Don’t you think it’s weird how beautiful they all are?” Lauren wrinkles her nose, at the time she had gotten used to Bella but she still doesn’t seem to like her very much

* “Not really, I remember (Y/N) wasn’t all that pretty freshman year, they used to wear these really dorky glasses.”

* You had almost started to forget how good you had it, after you did all the leg work in the last two years to establish that you were normal -just kinda quirky- you had just started to enjoy the pay off. A little more lax with your appearance, wearing clothes you liked, doing more solo routines in cheer.

* Only for little Miss.Curious to show up

* Now you have to try extra hard to look human again. And not just you, the entire coven does, because when one of you falls under suspicion you all do.

* Rosalie’s been making her hair look messy every so often to give the illusion that she’s having a bad hair day, Alice wears a retainer every so often, even Emmett pretends to need the bathroom more than he usually does.

* This morning you even had Rosalie do a fake pimple on your jaw.

* If Bella wasn’t going to be your best friends’ future wife, you think you might just hate her.

* You kind of sympathize with Rosalie in the book now.

* “Hey (Y/N) are you in?” Conner asks nudging his elbow against yours.

* “In for what?” You mumble, spearing another piece of pineapple. Another downside is now you have to eat at lunch. Otherwise Bella starts asking why you never eat and everyone gets really concerned and starts force feeding you

* God, all those years of establish you have low blood sugar and acid reflux induced nausea for nothing

* “La Push beach, we’re all going this weekend.” You perk up at the mention

* Finally, something’s getting back on track

* “Can’t, cheer stuff.” You mumble, shoving your food around your plate with your fork.

* You don’t miss Bella’s meaningful glance on your mostly full plate.

* Oh great, you can practically see the question “don’t you think it’s weird how they never eat anything?” Forming in the inner corners of her mind

* “What about you Edward?” Lauren flutters her eyelashes and you have to stop yourself from rolling your eyes.

* Lauren’s still annoyed that even though they’re hooking up, Tyler hasn’t made anything official yet

* Alice told her flirting with another guy might help.

* “He’s not going either.” You say before Edward can even open his mouth. He doesn’t say anything just gives you a questioning look and a smile.

* Looks like he’s finding everyone else’s thoughts more interesting

* “Are you guys going on a date?” Jessica waggles her eyebrows and on the other side of the table Bella sputters.

* You roll your eyes

* “No Jessica, but if I can’t go have fun neither can he.” Technically you both are forbidden to go on tribal land but whatever. “Best friend code.”

* Also you’re pretty sure Edward and Emmett are going to Yellowstone to eat bears or something, like a couple of heathens

* The thought of eating straight out of bear, no idea what they’ve eaten or where they’ve been doing their business, makes you shudder. 

* You did mention to them both that if they happen to find an orphaned bear cub somewhere to bring it back. You’ve been wanting to experiment with bear blood. 

* “Best friend code.” Edward repeats slowly, and the look he gives you makes your stomach flutter. And it’s not because you just ate half a salad.

* You’re knocked out of the look when Conner bumps his knee against yours

* “Well that’s a shame, I was looking forward to seeing you in a swimsuit.”

* So Conner’s been flirting a lot with you lately. Kind of weird, your best guess is that he was hoping to date Lauren, but now that she’s kinda seeing Tyler, you’re starting to look good.

* “Maybe you should have a pool party at that fancy house of yours then.” The group laughs but Conner just smirks

* “Whatever you want babe but-“ the bell cuts him off and you give him a consolatory pat on the arm.

* You move to throw away the leftover food on your plate, walking with Edward

* “We’re ditching right?” You ask him as you toss the plate into the trash.

* “Yeah Mr. Barnes is doing his blood type experiment today.” Like he even needs an excuse to skip school. “Do you want to go to the bookstore or something?”

* You shake your head, that won’t do, when Bella faints Edward needs to be there so they can fall in love

* “Wanna just hang out in my car? We can listen to that new Debussy CD I got.”

* Edward gives you a small smile, like he’s not really happy

* “Whatever you want.”

* Wait what’s up with that.

* “Hey, (Y/N)!” Bella calls out for you and Edward grimaces.

* “I’ll meet you at your car” wait he’s not going to stay here? If this was a dating video game he’d be the kind of player that wasted all the capture flags and then complains when they end up all alone.

* He leaves just as Bella gets to you. She spares a fleeting glance in Edward’s direction, almost looking sad as she watches him walk away before she looks to you

* “Are you heading over to biology?” She really is cute, like a puppy. She must have been hoping to get a little closer to Edward. 

* You almost feel bad for not warning her what with her issues on blood.

* “Nah I’ve got to finish my trig homework so I’m going to skip.” You fake a yawn.

* Oh, before you forget

* “I actually got you something.”

* You hand her a carefully wrapped gift bag, compliments of Rosalie of course

* “Vitamins?” Bella asks, her eyebrows threading together

* “Yeah, it’s like a vitamin powder, you just add it to water. We bought a big family pack so I thought I would share some with you.”

* Also because you’re 100% sure she’s anemic.

* Part of the reason you like the way she smells so much is because of her anemia, if it’s just the peach scent you can probably contain yourself. 

* You wave goodbye and Bella looks down at the package in her hands with a goofy expression. She hugs it to her chest before her expression pinches.

* “I should have offered to let them copy my notes” Bella murmurs to herself. Smacking her forehead and walking to biology.

* When you manage to sneak out to the parking lot through the gym doors, you see Edward leaning against your car, looking bored as he looks to the tree line

* “Why didn’t you sit inside? You look like a douchebag.”

* “I would have if someone had given me the keys”

* Like that’s stopped him before

* You unlock the car, letting it start with a hum before you pull out your trig homework

* You weren’t entirely lying to Bella, you really hadn’t finished you homework

* Edward pulls out a book from his bag, you’re not ashamed to say you’ve gotten him super into “The City of Ember” series

* “Hey why did you walk away when Bella came over?” you’re only half curious, mostly just trying to make conversation. “You don’t hate her do you?” You add with a laugh.

* The mere thought of Edward Cullen hating Bella Swan is laughable.

* “Yeah I do.” 

* You find yourself coughing from the sheer shock. 

* “You mean she frustrates you because you can’t read her mind.” Edward has spared you a concerned glance when you started coughing, but has turned his attention back to his book

*” No I mean I don’t like her, and I don’t like being around her.” He doesn’t look up from his book as he says it. 

* “But why?” Yeah she’s a little plain, and she’s still pretty shy even though you’ve been hanging out for a month and all those damn questions

* But she’s got good taste in books, and she’s pretty straightforward.

* She’s not the type of person to go behind your back, if you did something to upset her she’ll tell you straight to your face.

* Honestly she’s a lot like Angela, minus the hidden cunning nature.

* Edward eyes narrow and a heavy sigh escapes him. His head tilts back to rest against the passenger seat headrest.

* His neck is so long and white. The color of freshly fallen snow. You can’t help but think of how pretty it would look covered in hickeys.

* Like poppy’s blossoming in the snow. 

* Can vampires get hickeys? Would it just be like black instead of red since none of you really have blood anymore. 

* “I just don’t like-” He cuts himself off when his eyes meet yours, they seem to shine brighter for a moment, and you tilt your head. This feels like a meaningful look. 

* Edward sighs and looks away.

* “I just don’t like her vibe.” 

*”Vibe? Are you an Edward shaped imposter?” you see him mouth ‘Edward Shaped Imposter’ as you both laugh. 

* “Where did you learn to say these things?” He asks between laughs. You mock gasp.

* “The real Edward would never ask me that because he’s too afraid to know! Who are you really? What planet are you from?” Your hands move to his face, his face is as smooth as marble, lingering warmth. You leaned in without thinking about it, only a few inches away from him. 

* You’re so close you can smell him. He always smells good, like something ancient and profound. Rosemary and argon oil. 

* Your hands are still on his face and he’s grinning. 

* You gulp

* You’re trying to think of another ridiculous imposter joke you can make wen you catch a familiar head of blond hair through the window.

* “Is that Mike and ... Bella?”  

* This is a lot sooner than you thought, it hasn’t even been ten minutes yet.

* Edward looks almost bored as he follows your gaze. 

* “Yeah, looks like she made herself sick, she’s - what’s that word for when people are afraid of blood?” 

* “Hemophobia?”

* “Yeah, that’s what she has.”

* You wait for a second, releasing his face from your hands, but instead of moving to open the door he slumps back into his seat, eyes focused on his book. 

* “Don’t you think we should go help them?” He shrugs. 

* The f*cking criminal just shrugs. 

* WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON?!?!

* Human or not, there’s no world Edward wouldn’t at least think about helping someone who’s in trouble. 

* You’re starting to think this really is an Edward imposter. 

* You watch Bella lean on Mike, stumbling down the crosswalk to the nurse’s office in the next building. 

* You can’t watch anymore 

* ‘You know you-” You words finally get Edward’s attention as he looks up from his book. “You are wasting all the capture flags!” You shout before sliding out of your car and jogging over to Mike and Bella

* “Mike! What happened?” He’s so surprised to see you his grip on Bella goes slack and she falls out of his side hold.

* “Oh crap!” 

* You rush to catch her, swinging her into a princess hold.

* What was Mike struggling with so much? She’s not very hea - oh right you’re a vampire.

* “Are you alright, I know she’s kinda heavy.” Well that’s not very nice to say about a girl, besides she’s pretty skinny. Can’t be more than 120 pounds. 

* “It’s no problem, I do it for cheer are all the time.” You do a fake grunt as you pretend to get a better hold on her. 

* The movement jostle her awake, her eyes fluttering open. She’s still in a dreamy state, her eyes are unfocused. 

* “(Y/N)?” 

* “Hey buddy, looks like ya fainted, squeamish around blood huh?”

* “How do you know we were doing the blood type experiment?” Mike asks.

* Oh crap. You were skipping, you weren’t supposed to know that. Even worse you brain can’t seem to come up with a valid excuse.

* “Alice told us about it, (Y/N) used to be squeamish around blood when we were kids, didn’t want to take any chances” You let out a sigh of relief when you see Edward walking towards you. At least he’s not completely heartless. 

*”Then why were you skipping?” Mike asks scratching his head. Edward shrugs

* “They can’t go to class, then I won’t go either.” And then the criminal looks you straight in the eye and says with the cheekiest smile imaginable:

*“It’s the best friend code”

* Oh f*ck off Edward. 

* You almost want to scoff when he takes Bella from your arms and into his.

* SO now he wants to care about the capture flag. 

* You let him take her though, You swear you see her stiffen and frown when he holds her.

* That can’t be right, she seemed super relaxed when you were carrying her.

* “I-I’m fine I can walk.”

* “No you can’t.” Edward bluntly says.

* Even when he gets to capture event, he says all the wrong things. You sigh as you walk behind him. Only to notice another set of footsteps by you. 

* “You can go back if you want Mike, Edward won’t kidnap her or anything.” He might throw her into the lake though.

* Mike shakes his head. “No it just seems wrong to not make sure she at least gets to the nurses office.” 

*You smile, he really is a kind boy. 

* “Also I’ll be damned if Bella gives Edward all the credit.” Well mostly kind.

* You get to the nurses office, who seems incredibly flustered with both you and Edward in such a small space.

* She seems so preoccupied keeping her wits about her as she checks out Bella and deals with your presence that she never asks why three people had to escort one person to the nurses office.

* “Well your blood pressure is a little low, since you fainted I would suggest you go home. If you want you can take a nap in here until school’s out.” Wow, where was a nurse this generous when you were in school.

* Bella, the beautiful moron, shakes her head.

* “No it’s okay I’ll go back to class, I don’t want to take a zero for the assignment” Well that’s noble and responsible and all. But what does she think is going to happen when she goes back to class?

* She’s going to see some blood again and faint. Not that you can be mad, you would probably have to go the the nurse too if Bella ever managed to prick her own finger

* “Bella you really shouldn’t,” You settle your hand on her shoulder pushing her back onto the chair. “You just fainted you should lie down, or go home or something.”

* Her eyebrows thread together, mouth pulled in protest. 

* “I don’t want to impose on any-”

* “It’s not an imposition, I want to!” Her mouth parts, then closes, stretching into a fine line. You look to Edward who’s avoiding your gaze and seems very irritated.

* Enemies to lovers trope it is.(Though you’re not sure if this counts as enemies if only one person dislikes the other)

* “I’m going to drop you off home, come on.” You pull Bella up by her hand, leading her to the parking lot. 

* “Wait what about my car?” 

* Oh you hadn’t thought about that. 

*Hmmm in the original book Alice drove her home. But Alice doesn’t really do anything unless there’s something in it for her, or if she wants to.

* Also you’re pretty sure when she ditched today when she found out that people were pricking there finger on campus. She claimed it was for Jasper, but you’re pretty sure there’s a sale in the Nordstrom in Seattle.

* Edward would rather get the flu than drive Bella’s ancient truck.

* Which leaves only one option.

* You toss your keys to Edward who catches them with one hand.

* “Edward will drive you home in my car, and I’ll drive your car behind him.” 

* “What about Rosalie?” He grumbles.

*“What about Rosalie?” Why is he being so difficult right now? Doesn’t he realize you’re doing this all for him!

* “You’re driving her home since Emmett and I are leaving for Yellow Stone as soon as school lets out.” Oh right the bears. Cr*p.

* “It’s not a big deal, I’ll drive back to school after we’re done and you can go your way and I’ll go mine.”

* You can tell Edward doesn’t like it, but he just sigh’s climbing into your car and then promptly getting out of the passenger side and sitting in the driver’s side.

* The dork forgot he had to drive the car.

* You’re dying laughing as Bella leads you to her car.

* “It’s the blue one.”

* Her truck isn’t all that bad. It’s old, but in a kind of retro way. It’s powder blue, with only two doors and no backseat. 

* You climb in, turning the engine and hearing it purr. Well it’s more of a roar, but it’s not terrible.

* You’re surprised when Bella climbs through the passenger side door. 

* “Um, you’re not going to drive with Edward?” She looks at you like you just asked her to recite the Fibonacci sequence. 

* “Why would I go with him when you’re the one driving my car?” Okay, that’s fair.

* You sigh, why does nothing ever go according to plan.

* Maybe it’s for the best, Edward doesn’t seem to be in the best mood. Not that this is good either, she’s sitting so close to you, her peachy scent fills the small space of the truck and you feel lightheaded.

* It’s less than a ten minute trip, no need to get dramatic. You’re pretty sure you won’t kill her just because she smells nice.

* “Soooooo... what do you want to talk about?” You ask as you turn out of the school, this car is super slow compared to yours, you’re pretty sure it won’t go over 50 mph.

* Bella fidgets beside you, playing with the ends of her hair. 

* “So are you and Edward...dating?”

* You laugh so loud you actually start coughing. And then you laugh again. 

* “No-pfff- no We’re uh- we’re not dating.” You finally manage. 

* “Why is that so funny to you?” She asks, genuinely confused.

* “Well it’s just outrageous you know?” How would that even work? You can’t even picture it. Edward getting all hot and bothered because you’re wearing an oversized sweater and glasses. You flirting with him all over the house in front of Carlisle and Esme. Edward signing up for a sport just so he can see you in his letterman.

* It’s all...impossible.

* And yet, there is one thing you can picture. 

* Edward by your side, he’s almost golden brown, his eyes bright green. He points to the living room, and in there are Alec and Jane, both of their eyes blue as they argue over who’s turn it is to watch TV. 

* Maybe if you were human, if you had met in a different world or a different time, that would be something you could have. 

* But it is what it is

* “Edward and I have been friends for a really long time, we’ve just seen too much of each other to find each other attractive like that.” 

* Bella looks like she doesn’t believe you but she doesn’t say anything.

* Wait what are you doing? This is the perfect chance to talk Edward up!

* “But you know Edward is a real stand up guy!” It leaves a little too forcefully, a little inauthentic.

* “Oh is he?” She doesn’t sound too excited to be talking about this.

* “I know he’s got one of those face-”

* “Obnoxiously handsome?” She spats 

* “Like he thinks existence is a curse, and the world is evil and everything is terrible -” Wait you’re getting off track. “B-but he really is a good guy!”

* You bite your lip, as Bella tells you to turn into a subdivision. 

* “You know after- after I was adopted,” After your parents died. “I was really lonely, I had a family that loved me and anything I asked for but I didn’t really have anyone to talk to” Oh god, why did you choose this story to pick? “Edward was probably the only friend my age I had for years.”

* She straightens up a little bit, a curious glint in her eyes.

* “Really?” You nod.

* “Yeah he would come by every Monday and Wednesday,” You still remember the crunch of the snow under your feet as you both walked to the barn. He always asked why you didn’t just run, and you always told him because you liked the way you could see your breath hang in the air,

* “He could have been out that time, hanging out with other people,” More well adjusted vampires, who hunted instead of harvesting small amounts from animals they raised. “or chasing girls and playing sports, but he stayed with me.”

* “He always made me feel safe, and I’m sure whoever is lucky enough to end up with him will feel that way too.” 

* “I think you’re giving him too much credit” Bella finally says, you smile at her

* “what do you mean?” 

* “Well, who wouldn’t drop everything to hang out with you?” You can’t tell if she’s being genuine or if she’s bitter. Your eyes meet hers and there’s a twinkle in them. ”My house is the one on the left, the one with the magnolia tree.”

* You come to a stop in front of the house she mentioned, shifting it into park, and handing her the keys. 

* You don’t say anything as you climb out of her car. You see Edward stopped a few dozen feet behind her truck, your jeep still on. 

* “Thanks for driving me home” She smiles at you, a real smile that reaches her eyes. It’s nice.

* “No problem, it gave me an excuse to ditch school too haha.” You both stand in awkward silence. Neither of you moving. 

* Well damn what are you supposed to do now?

* “Oh, hey do you want me to bring you your homework or anything?” 

* She perks up at that, reaching into her pocket

*  “If you don’t mind, could you text me what page he homework is on for trig today?” 

* “ Oh for sure! No problem at all” You take her cell phone in your hand. It’s a white sidekick, with a picture of a cactus on the back. She must have gotten it when she moved.

* You can’t help but wonder if she has any friends she misses. She spent her entire life in one community, sure Phoenix is a pretty big place, but she must have had friends, people she sat with at lunch everyday, girls she had known since childhood, sleepovers where they whispered about boys they had crushes on.

* As you hand her phone back, your contact information saved in it, you can’t help but wonder who this person in front of you is. You know her, but at the same time, you know absolutely nothing about her. 

* “See you Monday!” You wave goodbye as you get into the passenger side of your car, and Bella waits on the porch until you and Edward leave.

* Edward’s got that look on his face.

* “Edward why are you mad?” 

* “I’m not mad.” He grumbles and you raise an eyebrow. He sighs.

* “You’re going out of your way an awful lot for that human.” He says as he turns back onto the highway.

* “It’s just the right thing to do Eddie.” 

* He shakes his head, his mouth pinched into a frown

* “Just be careful, I don’t know what that one’s thinking, she could be planning to burn our entire coven for all I know.”

* You roll your eyes, yeah you bet Bella who weights exactly 115 pounds, and has anemia is single handedly planning to bring down the entire vampire race. 

* “How about we make a deal, I’ll promise not to rock the boat while you and Emmett are gone-”

* “Why do I feel like I’m going to regret not covering my ears?”

*” If you promise to bring me back a bear cub - an orphaned one.” He gives you a look you don’t quite care for.

* “You want me to kill a mother bear so you can have a bear cub?” 

* “No of course not! I’m just saying- Emmett doesn’t really look before he kills  so if he kills a mother bear, just make sure you bring me the cubs.” 

* “Why do you even want a bear? How are you planning to take care of it with all those deer around, they need a lot-”

* “Yes Dad I know it’s a big responsibility, don’t worry I won’t make you take it on walks or anything.” 

* Edward gulps hard, one hand detaching from the steering wheel to cover his mouth. 

* Wouldn’t it be positively sinful for you to be underneath him, whining ‘daddy, please’ in that breathy voice of yours and-

* Edward.exe is broken. 

* “Dude you really need to get your shit together before you go on your trip, we’ve been parked for fifteen minutes and your foot is still on the brake.” You say as you get out of the car

* He hits his head against the steering wheel.

* “Yeah, I really do need to get my shit together.” 

Tags:  @moonlights27 @thebluetint @the100thtwilight @awesomebooklover17 @oneofthepotterheads @smileygirl08 @imdoingathingmom @iconicgguk @yrawn @alyciaswhore @little-horror-show @wicked-watering-can @lazydreamers @ xxxmuxxx  @ideas-for-you-to-adopt​​ @poisoinedhope @maryleigh8796​ @moose-squirrel-asstiel​ @hotmessgoodness​