#i have the whole basic thing plotted out on lined paper but i'm now at the ''flesh it out and make it WORK'' portion which -

[jaegerisim]

Vent post y'all are gonna hate me for.

I viscerally hate how the Duffers treat most of their non white or queer characters and I hate even more viscerally, how y'all big byler blogs in your circle jerk of other 5 big byler blogs casually like to ignore many red flags the show has.

Y'all like to say: "tHe DufFeRs ArE gReAt WrIteRs" and it's like girl, who are you lying to??? They aren't top shit writers at all. The Duffers are pretty mid imo. Yeah, they run a good show that's fun to watch and theorize abt , but that doesn't mean they're good writers cuz they're not.

1. they completely side lined Will during s3 for the sake of their straight romances: lumax, jancy, mlvn, duzie and partly stobin (even if stobin wasn't endgame, thankfully, Steve's intentions were clearly wanting to date Robin and they gave it a lot of screen time). Will was sidelined bc he didn't fit the straight romance plotline bc they planned to make him gay or whatever. Now in s4 Will and his feelings have been used as mlvn toilet paper. Yes, we like to say this is build up for byler but canonically, Will's feelings have been used to clean the shit mlvn leaves behind.

2. Billy was sympathized a lot during the last 2 seasons. They gave him the sad backstoryTM in order for ppl to feel sorry for him. Billy's backstory is literally Jonathan's but whatever.

3. El's anger issues are constantly girlboss-ified. They down play her bullying situation and literally just use it for El to be a ''girlboss" without realizing how triggering that is. As someone who has lived bullying, seeing it be ignored by canon and fanon is super sad. The whole Rink-O' Mania experience must have been so traumatizing for her yet, everyone absolutely forgets abt it 🤷🏻‍♀️

4. Robin, Erica and Argyle are stereotypical characters. Robin is the quirky lesbian with social anxiety, Erica is the badass black woman and Argyle is the Latino stoner that sells weed to white kids and works as a pizza delivery guy.

5. Altho Argyle and Eddie both do drugs, (Eddie actually sells K-12 to a minor and nobody batted an eye. He has a huge fan base). Eddie is held in a pedestal bc "poor thing 🥺 he lives in a trailer with his uncle 🥺". Tell me a single fact you know abt Argyle that isn't "he smokes weed", "he is Jonathan's only friend", "drives a van" and "he works at a pizzeria". Exactly, Eddie is given a useless backstory and Argyle isn't.

6. Dustin stopped being important to the plot sometime around s2 and s3. He is only there to curse and be mildly funny. My guy needs to hangout with ppl his age cuz he only hangs out with seniors.

7. El needs to stop having so much "I'M THAT BITCH" screentime like I need in s5 for El's arc to not just be her becoming more powerful and falling in love with Mike. I need the Duffers to explore her trauma and problems.

8. Angela should have been run over by the van.

9. Patrick should have been given a backstory that isn't the basic "strict black parents that hit their kids cuz they are a disgrace". Patrick's backstory is actually racist af, fight w the wall.

10. As Lex already said, they didn't trigger tag the ep where Jason and his friends assault Lucas and Erica. Like wtf? Why was that necessary? Why did I have to see a black boy being held at gunpoint by some white guy?? Was it relevant to the plot?? I don't think so. And then I've got to see ppl online be like "Jason wasn't that bad. He was just mourning" like bitch you can stfu. This is what happens when you make the racist assholes conventionally attractive.

Also the fact that Lucas's arc is fulfilled by him fist-fighting Jason and "embracing his weirdness" aka accepting he is black. His arc was not fulfilled at all cuz that ending spoke so loud to me. It showed how little empathy ppl have towards the struggles poc ppl living in the Midwest have. Y'all circle jerks can only see racism when it's super obvious.

Furthermore, parents complained when ST showed "an excessive amount of smoking" yet nobody batted an eye when Billy tried to run over Lucas, when Erica (an 11 y.o ffs) was chased by white kids or when Lucas was held at gunpoint by Jason.

All of this happened while they focused on Max's guilt and mourning that, yeah, are important but certainly not less important than racism!!!

11. In s3, they gave us that whole Nancy vs The Bigots arc that was honestly just triggering and useless. It didn't help Nancy's character at all, quite the opposite it put unnecessary angst.

12. Lonnie being presented as an abuser just for him to never be spoken of again. Can we please get to explore the trauma he left the Byers's with?

13. The fact that both queer relationships are considered "sloppy seconds" is extremely sad. Both Vickie and Mike are rebounding from their failed relationship with Robin and Will. These 2 ships have caused more commotion than Jancy and Jopper together! (These last ships are technically sloppy seconds too but everybody forgets that. Shocker!!)

14. Last but not least, ppl blame Argyle for being the one to get Jonathan into smoking weed as if Jonathan probably wasn't the one looking for it. Let me tell you, that you only find weed if you look for it.

[ccrites]

Signal Lost

I've had something happen to me that's so incredible and that I could have never hoped, something so touching and so unbelievable that it made me rethink a whole lot of stuff: a wonderful reader on Ao3 started reading my long-form fic (101k words!!!) and commented basically every chapter after a certain point. And wow, I would have never thought something like this might happen.

And yeah, it is my first fic with plot in it, yeah I will never believe it to be perfect, but it's good enough. And receiving all those emails from Ao3 really was the highlight of my days over the course of which I saw said reader slowly go through all my favorite parts!

And so I wish to give it some spotlight here, while I'm finishing up my school year and work and whatever! I will post this here for now, but I will drop chapters every few days and make a Masterlist for it this weekend. (nvm I don't have the energy to do this any time soon lmao) I have too many loose ideas in my head so this is just to pass the time till the brain worms wiggle all in the same direction

So without further ado:

Link to AO3 here : Signal Lost - a John Price x reader fic

----- here's a blurb to pique your interest!

“I don’t think I’ve ever received a document as classified as this one. What am I supposed to do with it, Kate?” he says, dragging his thumb across the pile of papers, each file filled with more ink than the last.

“You asked for proof, there’s your proof,” Laswell says.

“You said you’ll bring someone competent, and who can help us, this doesn’t tell me shit.” He stares blankly at the screen, tired. She stares back.

“The Captain specifically asked to keep this under wraps.”

He rubs at his face, scratching at his beard. It’s getting long again.

“Who is he, anyway?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

He groans again, picking up the file on top. No photo, no name, no age, no height, weight, no nothing . And he thought Simon was secretive.

“What can you tell me?”

“It’s the closest we’ve ever gotten to him. Did things a particular way.”

He shifts through the papers. “And the discharge?”

“Left after the entire team got wiped out. Messy stuff.”

“That why he doesn’t show his face?” He bends forward, grabbing the cigar from the ashtray and bringing it to his lips.

“John.” Her voice carries a heavy warning.

“Just sayin’,” he says, biting around the cigar with one side of the mouth. “What kinda captain doesn’t go down with his men?”

“Got enough guilt as is. You’re lucky I convinced them.”

They both remain silent. They know the missions would be a slippery slope. One wrong move and a war is started. He puffs a cloud of smoke.

“Anything else?” John asks.

Kate looks to the side, her face illuminated by another screen. He can see her hesitate, her lips are pursed in a thin line as if she’s debating her options.

“You’ve worked together before.”

His face lights up. “Finally! Who?”

Her face immediately hardens back up. “Can’t tell, John, my hands are tied.” She sighs. “You were still a Lieutenant.”

Years ago then. He mentally catalogs everyone he’s ever worked with, but he knows that at that age, he was throwing himself at every available mission, wanting to make a name for himself. “So an old fart then? How’s that gonna help us?” If the guy was a Captain when he was still a Lieutenant, and he felt himself grow old, he can’t imagine who Laswell is bringing back from the dead.

Laswell’s face distorts, he knows he’s pushing her buttons, but he has to know.

“Not older than you John.”

His eyebrows raise. “Oh?”

---

or

returning to the military to hunt Makarov is hard enough, to do it with your past lover is even harder. a "friends to lovers to enemies to friends and back to lovers" story

---

Tags and other CW: will be posted for each chapter containing warnings for more hardcore stuff (i.e., torture and angst namely), but this is a fanfic, with smut, so if you want all the tags feel free to check the ao3 link bc there are a LOT and I am lazy to retype them all here

[dansconcepts]

Lucky DICE

My take on the PhantomThief!Ouma AU (even though I have multiple takes in my docs so really this is more like just a DICE with Komaeda in it AU) based on the prompt in this Youtube short. It's meant to be a whole mystery-esque sorta thing? with some unreliable/misleading elements. The plot's roughly there (plot is really hard for me) but I'm hoping to fledge it out more maybe.

Shuichi tentatively roams the admittedly modest lair, equipped with the darkness of night lit only by a window. Rooms lead out from beyond the table that sits proudly beside a large retractable screen. Closed doors are lined with messages etched into their frames: names of DICE members, as well as personalized touches in the form of stickers and drawings.

The detective would find all of it honestly endearing if it wasn’t for the fact that they belong to the crime organization that’s been terrorizing the city for a while now. But seeing these hints at people, perhaps young, he begins to wonder- not for the first time- if he’s missing something intrinsically apparent in this whole case. What he needs is something concrete, something beyond the measly conjecture he has. 

His feet stop in front of the door he came here for. Supreme Leader it read, in messy scrawl and purple ink. There’s the silly art, serving as the signature that he knows so well beside it- a tiny caricature of DICE’s figurehead, with a peace sign, wink, and a stuck out tongue. And right underneath is the doorknob. It will get him answers, he knows, but he’s slow to lift his hand anyway. 

He bites his lip. Again, he wonders where his hesitance lies- a hunch with no evidence, reliant on a lingering feeling despite being met with all the facts. Shuichi doesn’t owe him anything. The Phantom Thief committed his crimes with an edge, a malice, and that strengthens his resolve.

The detective turns the door, slowly. His eyes dart around the room as the crack widens, absorbing the calming light that comes from a nightlight perched on a nightstand. A chessboard lays in the center, most pieces having remained and yet are arranged out of place on the board, only having a white king, black bishop, and assorted black and white pawns. Cans of Panta are haphazardly sprawled out everywhere. The bed looks pristine besides a slightly ruffled sheet. Alternatively, the desk, a beautiful dark wood, is a frenzy of suggested activity with papers and photos in seemingly disorganized piles and-

Is that a whiteboard? 

Normally, the idea of having a whiteboard in one’s bedroom isn’t the strangest thing, but the way it’s filled out with photos hung by tape and lines connecting both text and images makes him think he’s looking at a reflection of his own thinking board for this case. Perhaps a corkboard is too old-fashioned... Yet, he muses, he’s evolved from simple burglaries and mysteries to a syndicate of crime, and sticking to basics was the best way for him to start tackling such a jump. 

He approaches the board. The connections being made… it’s recent hits, with some locations being X’d out and others highlighted. There are faces he doesn’t fully recognize in most of the photos. Most of them seem to suggest DICE members, if the clown mask covering their faces are anything to go by. One white-haired man is circled in red, with a large and sloppy, as if angrily written, LIAR over it. 

His eyes roam lower, and he’s greeted with a shock. Small text, in the same handwriting as outside, forces his brain to run a mile a minute.

Detective Shuichi Saihara, it read, …trustworthy?  

And on the ledge underneath, surrounded by a couple of markers, are a pack of cards. Non-standard, if the navy blue look embedded on the pack was any indication. He opens it, expecting to find dark cards to match the box’s aesthetic, and pulls out the first one near the front of the deck. White. He flips it. Also white, purely plain, identical to the front. Widely untypical, but highly familiar. The detective thumbs at the glossy finish. Memories of a beautiful checkered backing hit him unbidden, and playful text laughing at his expense, yet cheering him on… Except for the most recent time, where it was leering, conniving, borderline threatening in a faux-pleasant tone-

Nope. Not the time. 

The detective laxes his grip. Ah. The card now has a permanent score in the middle. 

He brushes it aside- although he murmurs apologies into his head- and looks through the rest of the cards. Finally, he finds what he’s looking for in the form of a date written along the top. He picks through the cards which contained a similar look, and it was all consecutive, almost as if the cards served as a journal or diary of sorts. There’s a handful of cards left that appear blank. 

He’ll examine the rest later. Instead, he focuses his attention on the first card. It outlines, he skims, the third heist DICE carried out (and, he remembers, was when he was enlisted on the case officially). “Detective… new… told Ace not to be an idiot… no Kyouko…” His eyes dart to a passage that actually catches his eye. “This new Detective seems like a stick in the mud anyway, a complete anxious nerd type. But he did figure out our whole MO, so maybe he’s more interesting than I thought.” Shuichi flushes. It was true, but still, to be called out so blatantly…

Next entry. “He did get more interesting. I just had to get up-close and personal, y’know? He’s so convicted for a guy who could barely look me in the eye! That needs to be changed and fast. It’s cute,” And now he’s flushed for a whole other reason, “But that’s only because underneath is this really determined guy who wants to figure things out. And man, do I enjoy someone who plays the game.”

Next. “How often is he going to linger with the notes I leave him? I’m going to get caught this way! But he always reads it with this small smile, and I don’t know why, but it makes me stupidly happy. Yikes. Time to not dwell on THAT thought any longer.” 

Okay, now he’s sensing a pattern. The navy blue on the box, the name repeated in every entry… is this whole deck about him? 

No way. No way at all that’s it. 

But the evidence speaks for itself. He reads further, skimming, his name or a variation always sticking out, and he can’t help but finish every entry as it dials further and further into something that seems… adoring. Borderline affectionate. Shuichi honestly can’t believe it.

The last words of the final entry catches his attention. He recalls the date and his jaw tightens. A day before the latest heist. “Joker said he’ll be making the next heist ‘a celebration of hope’. It’s bound to be a whole ploy to get me closer to my beloved, from Queenie’s laughter and all. If anyone can make it happen though, it’d definitely be him. But I’m concerned. I’m a little worried there’ll be an explosion, knowing Joker. But I know he’s learned his lesson.” 

Hmm. 

He looks through the remaining blank cards, flipping them just to make sure he doesn’t miss anything. On a seemingly random card, 4th last, he finds familiar purple handwriting. 

It’s a lie!

Cold sweeps through his system. A lie? What was a lie? Where? He took everything at face-value, but there’s a lie? The detective frantically looks around, the shadows suddenly seeming oppressive and choking. Was it the whole deck, or something specific? A single card? A handful?

Was it the feelings he thought were there?

He steps back, the card mocking him. 

It’s a lie! It’s a lie! It’s a lie! rings through his head, hearing the voice that often accompanied it. And as it ricochets in his head, he hears faint murmurs permeating through the walls.

God, what was he thinking? He needs to get out of here. He can’t believe he just let himself come in here, spurred by a single letter.

The detective looks to the door, but no, can’t go through there. He peers through the window. Seems clear. Luckily chasing the Phantom Thief gave him some practice in endurance and balance, because this patio wasn’t going to scale itself. 

He jumps, roughly skidding down the slope before landing on his feet. Luckily the house wasn’t too tall. With adrenaline pumping through his veins, the detective slinks off into the night, wondering if this is how he feels after a heist.

[localspacelesbian]

Taylor Swift & Marriage

for all the girlies who are stll somehow convinced that she and joe are secretly engaged or something (and anyone who likes seeing common themes in her songs)

Mary's Song (Oh My My My) (Taylor Swift, 2006)

A few years had gone and come around We were sitting at our favorite spot in town And you looked at me, got down on one knee

Take me back to the time when we walked down the aisle Our whole town came and our mamas cried You said "I do" and I did too

i don't even know if i should count this considering it's not about herself, but here is taylor's first mention of getting married.

2. Love Story (Fearless, 2008/Fearless (Taylor's Version), 2021)

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring, and said "Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone I love you and that's all I really know I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress It's a love story, baby, just say, 'Yes'"

literally the most generic* love song ends in happily ever after with the two getting married.

*i'm not saying that's a bad thing. i love this song. i just don't think it's necessarily about anyone in particular. like with a lot of her songs tbh, you're supposed to think about your own relationship when you listen to it, not hers. that's how she built the whole relatable girl next door persona she was going for at this time

3. Speak Now (Speak Now, 2010)

I am not the kind of girl Who should be rudely barging in on a white-veil occasion But you are not the kind of boy Who should be marrying the wrong girl

i mean, the whole song is about crashing a wedding. i don't know what else there is to say. i do feel the need to point out that taylor never actually crashed a wedding lol. this is fiction.

i think it's funny you she says "you wish it was me" not "i wish it was me" about the bride. taylor doesn't even want to marry the guy; she just doesn't want him to marry someone else. and to be fair, he probably shouldn't be getting married if he still likes someone else.

4. Starlight (Red, 2012/Red (Taylor's Version), 2021)

Ooh-ooh, he's talking crazy Ooh-ooh, dancing with me Ooh-ooh, we could get married Have ten kids and teach 'em how to dream

again, this song isn't even about herself. (unless she's actually immortal or a time traveler, i don't think she was meeting a bobby on the boardwalk in the summer of '45.) (i read somewhere who it's about, but i don't remember and don't really care)

4.5 I Bet You Think About Me (Red (Taylor's Version), 2021)

this song doesn't actually mention marriage, but the music video is a wedding and basically follows the plot of Speak Now

5. Lover (Lover, 2019)

My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue All's well that ends well to end up with you Swear to be over-dramatic and true to my Lover

plays on "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue", and is written almost like a wedding vow. there's also the 'first dance remix', which is obviously intended to be played at a wedding. i do think it's entirely possible that she thought she might end up marrying the person she was with at this time.

6. Paper Rings (Lover, 2019)

I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings Uh huh, that's right Darling, you're the one I want, and I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this

not the first or last time she mentions her partner having less money than her, but she doesn't care about material things (yeah, ok, tell that to her merch store). she just wants to be with this person. she doesn't need to prove anything to anyone

also, the 'accidents' line is interesting now that we know from Mastermind that they're meeting and getting together wasn't an accident. assuming the two songs are about the same person.

7. It's Nice To Have A Friend (Lover, 2019)

Church bells ring, carry me home Rice on the ground looks like snow

8. the last great american dynasty (folklore, 2020)

The wedding was charming, if a little gauche There's only so far new money goes They picked out a home and called it "Holiday House" Their parties were tasteful, if a little loud The doctor had told him to settle down It must have been her fault his heart gave out

rebekah harkness got married and was widowed in the span of one verse.

9. champagne problems (evermore, 2020)

Sometimes you just don't know the answer 'Til someone's on their knees and asks you "She would've made such a lovely bride What a shame she's fucked in the head," they said But you'll find the real thing instead She'll patch up your tapestry that I shred

this song is about someone rejecting a marriage proposal. i know these songs supposed to be fictional, but if i was her partner, i think i'd be a little concerned that she just spit out 2 breakup albums in one year.

10. coney island (evermore, 2020)

The mischief, the gift wrapped suburban dreams Sorry for not winning you an arcade ring

i don't know how to explain it, but this could be referring to not wanting to be a suburban housewife basically? arcade ring = engagement ring.

11. ivy (evermore, 2020)

I'd live and die for moments that we stole On begged and borrowed time So tell me to run Or dare to sit and watch what we'll become And drink my husband's wine

My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand Taking mine, but it's been promised to another

she's married and having an affair (*cough* with a woman *cough*). could be the other pov from illicit affairs on folklore.

12. cowboy like me (evermore, 2020)

And the ladies lunching have their stories about When you passed through town But that was all before I locked it down

i have thoughts about this song, but i don't know how to put them into words. the only part that references marriage though is the phrase 'locked it down'.

13. right where you left me (evermore, 2020)

Friends break up, friends get married Strangers get born, strangers get buried

Glass shattered on the white cloth Everybody moved on, I, I stayed there Dust collected on my pinned-up hair They expected me to find somewhere Some perspective, but I sat and stared Right where you left me

I'm sure that you got a wife out there Kids and Christmas, but I'm unaware

ok, so this one doesn't explicitly say anything about the singer getting married, but i believe it's the other pov to champagne problems and therefore about a rejected marriage proposal. (the 'glass shattered on the white cloth' is a champagne glass. possibly one that had an engagement ring in it.)

14. it's time to go (evermore, 2020)

Fifteen years, fifteen million tears Begging 'til my knees bled I gave it my all, he gave me nothing at all Then wondered why I left

taylor swift is pro-divorce.

15. Lavender Haze (Midnights, 2022)

All they keep asking me (All they keep asking me) Is if I'm gonna be your bride The only kinda girl they see (Only kinda girl they see) Is a one-night or a wife

taylor said stop asking me when i'm going to get married. (so that's the weird rumors she was referring to... interesting) (also, if you think this song is about joe, maybe look up the phrase 'lavender marriage')

16. Midnight Rain (Midnights, 2022)

He wanted a bride I was making my own name Chasing that fame He stayed the same All of me changed

again saying that she doesn't want to get married and seemingly broke up with someone over it

17. High Infidelity (Midnights, 2022)

Storm coming Good husband Bad omen Dragged my feet right down the aisle

I honestly don't really know what to make of this other than 'wow, this woman really doesn't want to get married.'

honorable mention for the Bejewled music video where she makes it very clear that she has no interest in a 'prince.' she wants the castle.

the only time she has ever really implied that she might want to get married is on Lover. i don't know what happened after that (like, i do, but i don't, you know?), but she clearly has had no interest in getting married since then.

[benevolenterrancy]

So about the Hogan's Heroes Dating Sim...how do you even write a story like that? I'm intrigued as to how you turn something that's more of a video game thing into a fic.

Oh yeah, no, if I actually drag this thing to completion it will straight up be a dating sim, like as in a playable game. (Well. "game".) Trying to read it like a fic would be a NIGHTMARE, like the world's suckiest choose-your-own-adventure.

For the moment I'm still writing it, but I do have a website that I think will work for coding the stupid thing into existence, it seems to have a sufficiently simple "Fisher Price My First Coding" style system in place for tech-illiterate people like me.

As for how you write it, so far it's involved a desperate stack of lined paper with a lot of diagrams, colour coded spreadsheets, and the most deranged labelling system known to man in order to keep track of all the threads...

[creativepromptsforwriting]

hello there! how does one outline a fanfic in general? i'm having a hard time trying to make sure that my ideas won't get lost and that i have a guide,,

Hi :)

How to outline a story

@creativepromptsforwriting on IG | do not repost!

There are many different ways how to outline a story. You should try out a few to see which ones work best for you.

Draw your structure

You can use a pre-existing writing structure and then fill out each point of that structure with your own ideas. Examples for a structure could be:

the Hero's Journey

Freytag's Pyramid

You can also use a piece of paper and write down different plot points that you want to have in your story. That could include things like:

settings

conversations

revelations

realizations

drama

Write all of them down and then try to put them in order. Afterwards you play a game of connect the dots. You can use actually lines that you draw from one event to the next. That way you can see the basic structure of your story and you also see where you need to come up with more plot points to fill out the gaps and to get from point A to point B.

You can also use sticky notes to be able to switch your scenes around. And you can color-code them, which I love to do. (Red for whole scenes, green for conversations, blue for revelations, etc.)

OneNote (or similar apps)

You can use the Microsoft app OneNot to create a notebook for your story and then create new tabs for each chapter with extra tabs for a summary of your story, the characters, a timeline, and one for random snippets (for example).

You can synchronize it with your phone and write down stuff, whenever you think about it (I like to do that while taking the train).

Pro-tip

Whichever way you go, I would recommend to create yourself one space that is just a place to dump your ideas. Whenever you have a random thought for your story, write it down there. Doesn't matter if it's a plot point you thought of, or a dialogue you want your characters to have, but you're unsure where it fits.

So everytime you want to write something for the story, you're trying to come up with new ideas, you have a creative block, you can just go to that space/document/whatever and browse it, to see what random ideas you had and if one of them would fit now.

I hope this helps and good luck!

- Jana

[clonecumber]

Three of those character ask things from way back that I realize now I only had posted on Dreamwidth. Whoops.

Etain, Corr, and Kal. As always, mind the tags.

Anonymous: Etain

Ohhhh, that's a toughie. All right, I don't know you anon, but you're asking about a controversial character so...proceed with caution?

First impression : I don't think I had very many strong feelings about Etain, but I remember being in line with Kal's take on the situation regarding her pregnancy. Reading it now, there are aspects to it that I feel are way more complicated than how the narrative (and KT's multi-book gaslighting campaign) present them, so I've eased up on that, but that whole plot is still...Eugh. She wasn't really a preferred character, but I grudgingly tolerated her, I suppose.

Impression now : *drags hands down face* Look, I have done like...so much drafting in my head for months about specific Etain things and this is hard, okay. I nearly don't even want to talk about it without at least three separate whole entire papers to point to in order to flesh this shit out, but I'm going to try. Etain's very complicated, primarily because, from a Doylist perspective, knowing anything about how the Jedi work, so many things about how she's written just. Don't fucking make sense. They really don't make sense. Trying to Watsonian the mess is more than a humble ask game can hold. I'll do my best, but yeesh.

(PS. I've already made a separate post talking about how I feel Etain's badly underutilized as a character as well, so I won't be talking about that much either, but I still hold true: Etain had amazing narrative-relevant talents and I wish that had gone somewhere.)

But, Etain. She's actually pretty similar to Skirata in personality, I think. Not identical, but they have a lot of overlap, specifically in their flaws and way of behaving toward others, though the way they express these behaviors tends to differ. The core seems the same, though. Etain obviously has shittier self-esteem, but I feel like they both have a fear of abandonment/need to be special that drives a lot of their behaviors, but Etain's more aware of it and Skirata really isn't. I also think they're both very driven by heart-over-head, both compassionate but so starry-eyed with the idea of doing good for people that they steamroll the same people they're trying to help, which leads into them both having major problems with boundaries and basic communication skills, and both very prone to "othering" anyone not in their in-crowd, to differing degrees of severity. If I was going to Watsonian Skirata's lashing out at Etain throughout the books, I'd say the reason might be besides Etain being a less conventionally attractive woman, is rather because Etain and Skirata are too similar, and while she's alive Skirata is probably subconsciously reacting to that - always jumping to the worst possible conclusion because he sees himself in her, and Skirata has a very complex relationship with his own flaws. Case: Skirata attacks her for things his own POV will sometimes point out are things he does too, sometimes to the point of seeming confused at himself for why he's reacting so strongly, though this never actually goes anywhere since it neither changes Skirata's behavior toward Etain nor makes him examine himself in any more detail. I do think it says a lot that it's there. It's also an interesting compare and contrast exercise, primarily for the following reason:

Because where Etain's different is that 1) none of the other characters ever let Etain get away with shit, so most of the things she pulls get her called out promptly and severely and 2) Etain actually wants to get better about how she treats people. She struggles sometimes and doesn't always get it right, but she's nearly always willing to listen to criticism and will try to do better come hell or high water, even if she doesn't really know what that looks like and ends up forging determinedly ahead in entirely the wrong direction. The spirit is there. I really, really wish therapy existed in Star Wars, because Etain would really benefit from it.

I also find her conversations with Darman where we get to see her from Darman's POV interesting to read, especially later in the series. Around Darman she's always more confident and secure, and it shows, I think. The neuroticism we see from other outside-in looks at Etain (basically only Ordo and Kal, really) dials down significantly, and without the anxiety you get a young woman who's a little stiff and abrupt, even a little stern, but also surprisingly funny and kind. Someone who maybe doesn't smile often, but man, when they do. I feel like we also got a bit of this during her interactions with Mereel, since I remember her POV chapters with him being much less...self-disparaging. So I mean, at least she had two people in this clan she could relax around.

I like her character quite a bit now, actually, lol.

Favorite moment : Etain saving Niner and Fi from shrapnel in Hard Contact. She took initiative on her own and was so pleased with herself afterward; it was kinda cute.

Idea for a story : Instead of Etain dying to save the trooper, it was Skirata, for any reason. Doesn't really matter. I feel like losing Kal in that hero's journey "Death of the Mentor" sort of way would have had a much more interesting impact on the story afterward and maybe saved it from a bit of its...uncertain floundering in follow-up story lines. But also Ordo and Etain, on-scene, having to deal with that, and then the associated, longer-term fallout. It probably wouldn't be about Etain, but the narrative could ride around on her shoulder while everything was happening, so it would be Etain-centric. The dynamics alone would be interesting.

Unpopular opinion : This is nowhere near comprehensive, but: I don't really think Etain tricked Darman into unprotected sex with the intent to get pregnant. I feel like there is reasonable evidence to suggest Darman and Etain were already having unprotected sex even before Etain came to her decision that she wanted kids with Darman someday, no false pretenses required. And I mean, sure, even if they were, I definitely feel like her thinking about the possibility of pregnancy in the future should have at least prompted her to start a conversation before continuing to have unprotected sex with him, but that's still a far cry from the idea she actively sabotaged agreed-upon birth control measures, which I remember was the predominant belief on the forums back when I first read these books as a kid. (Not even getting into the "but did they even have quality sex education" thing because that's straight up headcanon vs headcanon and that's a nightmare road that I will not touch.)

Favorite relationship : (Sorry, Darman, but) MEREEL. Etain and Mereel's friendship came out of left field, but I actually really, really liked it.

Favorite headcanon : That Etain's intersex. Possibly also trans or questioning.

walonvaus: Corr

Hi! Thank you for your comment, I really appreciate it! Sorry for the wait; I try to do these in the order I receive them and I had one on Tumblr just before yours.

Corr's tricky for me, and separating what I can draw from him in canon from the way kaasknot's fic fleshed him out in my head is hard, lol. I don't think I entirely succeeded. Not least because I'm falling asleep on my keyboard, whoops.

First impression : I do not remember. He sure existed?

Impression now : For a guy KT liked to use as a MadLibs booklet every time she needed a random character to do anything and then shoved off-screen at every opportunity, he sure managed to make himself interesting. His canon personality is a bit all over the place, but just his story in general? There's so much there. I'm still fascinated by the fact that apparently after finishing his training, Corr was still running with the Nulls for awhile. Presumably he was spinning his wheels until they had a placement for him, like what happened when Skirata recalled him from a mission he was in the middle of with Jaing, but instead of planting him back in the barracks the Nulls just...kept him. Which says something, I feel. Corr's just one of those guys who has an entire novel's worth of shit happening, but it's taking place entirely off screen. His life is a series of noodle incidents and he never talks about himself. Ever. And so noodle incidents they will remain.

Favorite moment : During O66 when Kal's trying to deflect Niner by dropping the bomb about the second army and Corr goes straight on point like a hunting hound so that when Niner starts to go, "That's nice, now back to the topic at ha-" Corr does everything short of slamming a hand over Niner's mouth. I think he actually says something like, "Niner, shut up," or something, with the implied, "What second army?"

Which is very rude of Corr, who up until this point has been characterized as being very careful around Omega in a Must Keep Hands And Feet Inside The Vehicle At All Times approach to this new squad thing. On top of being raised as a line trooper with far stricter standards of behavior. Telling his sergeant to shut up has implications coming from Corr that it doesn't coming from, say, Darman or Atin.

And, sure, it's the exact reaction that Kal wanted, which sucks, but at the same time I think it says a lot about Corr's own priorities as a Line Trooper himself, and a bit that it sort of speaks to me of his time running second to the Nulls' own missions. There's still a part of him that thinks like them, and just like they were Shook upon this discovery, so is Corr. That on top of it being a sudden, intense blow to him as one of the demographics most affected by the war, troopers just like him hit the hardest by dent of numbers and being last in line for everything, feeling the lack of support the hardest, who would hear of these reinforcements who exist but aren't being used or might exist and might be used and just...have a hell of a lot of feelings about it all at once. I just like the characters piece here, that he just doesn't have a reason to care about Jilka over the second army, for all the reasons listed above. Niner doesn't fall for it as an all-or-nothing trade, information on Jilka's situation or information on the second army, but if Corr does, he knows which one he picks. And that's a cool show of his priorities. Also probably something I'm overthinking.

Idea for a story : Corr still being treated like part of Omega once he and Atin make it to Mandalore and reunite with Fi. Just. IDK. A bonding activity. Something. Fi being able to talk to Corr about things Fi might still have a hard time trying to explain to Atin, maybe. Like, you know, maybe Corr's been there before or something.

Unpopular opinion : (I don’t think this series really has popular opinions, but we’ll work with what we have:) Corr still doesn't really understand the One True Marriage/Must Be In Want Of A Wife ideal that most of the rest of the characters in the series were raised with, so him having a "girl in every port" is less him deliberately "playing the field" and more his squad trying to sync his behavior through their own cultural lenses.

Really, Corr's just a friendly guy who sometimes has sex with people he likes, with zero expectations on either side or even the real understanding that there should be (which I wonder about anyway, since Star Wars doesn't have a sex before marriage taboo to my understanding, which would be funny if it was just Skirata but I digress). Those "girls" are his friends. That's literally it. He does not get why his squad mates keep chortling amongst each other and ribbing him about this. Or, he does. Intellectually. But he doesn't get it.

Favorite relationship : I really want to say Mereel even though I've been realizing slowly over the course of the last couple weeks that for all there is so much interesting about their potential dynamic, they basically never interact on-screen in the books? H o w.

All the Nulls he's canonically worked with, so Mereel, Kom'rk, and Jaing.

Favorite headcanon : Corr approaches Jilka flirting because he learned it as a defusing tool from Mereel and no one else was working with her to keep her from eventually snapping and, like, stabbing Besany or something. That's his sole motivation originally, and he's halfway winging it. How the relationship plays out after that - especially when it rapidly grows outside Corr's control on account of him not really understanding why using flirting tactics on someone you live with isn't really the best idea, and maybe or maybe not him actually forming a friendship/actual romantic interest in Jilka - varies to me, but my primary interest is in the culture clash potential.

kaasknot: Kal Skirata

Hi!

Juuust a forewarning, since I don't know if you've seen much of my typical rambling, but I have Strong Feelings about Kal Skirata's character, so. Be warned? Also trying to talk about this without dipping into a bit of TMI is impossible. If you don't want to deal with that, skip the first two impressions, please!

First impression : I first read these books up to True Colors (O66 and 501st came out later) all together when I was a young teenager nearly a decade before I'd finally start being able to admit to myself that I had been abused, and I adored Kal Skirata. He was just like my mom, except better.

Impression now : No argument that KT's main strength is her ability to create vivid characters. Kal as a character is incredibly important to me because he's one of the most perfect characterizations of an (unintentionally but still very) emotionally abusive parent I've ever read. And from a meta standpoint, using Kal - a safe fictional character - as a proxy to sort through my own understanding of my own treatment by my own mother was a useful exercise, since the parallels are so stark. The fact Kal doesn't ever do it on purpose is what matters to me too, because it's too easy for people to decide toxic people are that way by some grand calculating plan, deliberately maneuvering everyone around them like expert chess masters for maximum suffering, when really it's usually just because they're damaged, frightened people lashing out and grasping on instinctively, who aren't capable of recognizing the harm they're doing. Like the emotional equivalent of a drowning person latching on to anyone nearby and not realizing when they shove them down under the water. It's the human desire to be liked and appreciated absent the ability to self-reflect and cope in a healthy, productive manner, and an unwillingness to self-correct when their own lacking behaviors are pointed out to them. Kal wants to be a good person. He wants to do right by his kids and be super-dad and all of that. He really, really wants it, and that makes it easy to excuse him, because his intentions are so good. (Except he's also got a bit of a white savior thing going on, but we're not talking about that right now.)

The fact that being seen as that person (so that he can see himself as that person) matters more to him than actually doing the hard work of correcting his behaviors so he can be that person is where he fails. He wants without putting in any actual, productive effort. If it doesn't make him feel better about himself, it scares him, and he does his best to ignore it away and make everyone validate him so he can pretend he never did anything wrong to start with. This man gaslights like he breathes. He uses dramatic shows to "erase" damage he's done without actually taking into account if the person he's trying to "make amends" to actually feels better after he's done (see: Darman). He can spin the narrative of self-improvement, but he wavers at actually walking it. It's human. It's very, very human. It's part of why a lot of my favorite "what ifs" involve Kal learning how he's fucked up, being forced to confront it, and growing better as a person and forming healthier relationships with his family. At this point I've accepted my mom will never do it, but I like to think Kal would.

But most importantly, that whatever else might have happened in Skirata's life to harm him, whatever his intentions were, that doesn't matter. People aren't allowed to hurt you just because they don't mean to, or because they've been hurt themselves.

TMI OVER

Favorite moment : Okay, so after he shakes hands and leaves Altis's ship and realizes he's still contagious with the vaccine-fever and he just looks at his hand in disgust and then mutters something like, "I should have charged you." I laughed.

I really, really like when Kal actually is the put-out old crook dragged kicking and screaming into something approximating morality by his love for six little boys, and I wish he'd been written that way more often, because he talks about himself that way sometimes but too obviously views himself as more-moral-than-thou at literally all times, not helped by KT warping reality around him to always make sure he's the most right and moral character in the series, and I just feel like it's a series of missed opportunities. The put-out old crook Kal we could have had is an icon.

Idea for a story : Sort of brainstorming this for a little while now, but: Time travel. Falin gets dumped on Ordo shortly after being found by Munin but before Munin manages to erase his name, or Ordo travels back and stumbles across little Falin and promptly kidnaps him because Munin is a Hard No. It'd be about breaking the cycle of abuse, Falin/Kal getting a better start after the hell he had to deal with and deserving much better than fucking Munin, and Ordo/the Nulls having the opportunity to recognize Kal's bad treatment through having to parent Falin/realizing where Kal came from and grappling with their own unwillingness to pass those things on, and coming to terms with why they don't want to pass those things on. For obvious reasons, them coming to terms with their own poor treatment and not really being equipped to deal with Falin's trauma, means there would have to be a broader cast to provide support, possibly even take over as Falin's primary caregiver for awhile (good luck getting past a freaked out and protective Ordo, but I have faith in his clan) but that's more detail than I've got so far. Point is the Nulls (especially Ordo) coming face-to-face with Falin.

I'm actually sort of attached to Laseema in particular recognizing aspects of Falin's treatment under Munin and actually being a good point of connection for him. She understands better than anyone else in that house exactly what sort of thing Falin's gone through, I think. At least the losing everything parts, and being taken, and being expected to perform to a new expectation by these strangers you have no power to combat, not even to keep your own name. Human trafficking victim to human trafficking victim. I have an image of Falin nursing a wild bird back to health, and, being Kal still, wanting to keep it forever even once it's healed, and Laseema walking him out into the yard, and talking to him beyond the range of anyone else's hearing, and eventually convincing him to let it go.

Unpopular opinion : *shrugs* Kal's a polarizing character. I love analyzing him and I'm very critical of him and want him to face some hard consequences, which is going to be very unpopular with 50% of fandom and perfectly fine with the other 50%.

Favorite relationship : Vau. They're both shitty old people and their relationship is hilarious. Literally the only character Kal doesn't have any sort of hold on, and they fight like cats and dogs but with the impression that they'll be shoulder-to-shoulder at the pub later or something. Angry, toxic old couple who fight all the time but will back each other up when it comes to fucking with the HOA inspector.

Favorite headcanon : Okay, I erased the BS I invented on the spot that lived here last time. Honestly, I spend so much time focusing on canon!Kal that I don't really have any headcanons I can point to in a snap. He gets his share of attention already. Unless some of my interpretations of his canon actions dip into headcanon territory, this is all I've got.

[luckydragon10]

P&P Chapters 35 and 36

(Chapters 32, 33, 34)

Lots happened last time. Lots and lots. Score check:

Mr. Darcy, aka Mr. Bungles, dropped to -15.

Lizzy maintained her score at +25.

~~~

Chapter 35

Mr. Darcy: “I have been walking in the grove some time in the hope of meeting you. Will you do me the honour of reading that letter?”

You were up all night writing that, weren't you? And you approach her, give her the letter, say your line, and walk off. That had better be the best-written letter of your whole damn life.

Big, big, big long honking letter. Lots to digest. But this one. OOHHHH, this one:

(Mr. Darcy) There is but one part of my conduct in the whole affair on which I do not reflect with satisfaction; it is that I condescended to adopt the measures of art so far as to conceal from him your sister’s being in town. 

I hope Lizzy is as mad at you about this one as I am. Prat. Twat. How about a nice fat -10 points for you, jackass.

This is a LOT of info-dumping. I wonder whether Austen is going to immediately rush to set up new plot hooks to replace the ones that are getting cleared up right now.

Wicky, of course, is the wastrel I assumed him to be. Wow, there's still more to go about him, though.

I'm most of the way through the letter, and mainly I'm just wondering HOW this is all fitting on two pieces of paper and an envelope?!

Oh, yeah, trying to elope with Darcy's baby sister is worse. Nice one, Wicky. Be glad he left you alive.

Whew, okay, info dump received and processed. That was much.

~~~

Chapter 36

Was Elizabeth just standing or sitting around outside the entire time she read that novel of a letter?

But such as they were, it may well be supposed how eagerly she went through them, and what a contrariety of emotion they excited. 

"A contrariety of emotion" -> I love this. This is basically me all the time.

With a strong prejudice against everything he might say, she began his account of what had happened at Netherfield. 

Doop de doo. Just gonna leave that there.

His belief of her sister’s insensibility she instantly resolved to be false;

Okay, one thing I want to question is that if Mr. Darcy was carefully judging by appearances that Jane felt no affection for Mr. Bingley, what the hell measure was he using to determine whether Lizzy had affection for him? Or did he just throw his measuring stick out the window because he was in love?

She wished to discredit it entirely, repeatedly exclaiming, “This must be false! This cannot be! This must be the grossest falsehood!”—and when she had gone through the whole letter, though scarcely knowing anything of the last page or two, put it hastily away, protesting that she would not regard it, that she would never look in it again.

I'm taking 5 points off for willful blindness. Look into it. He gave you a viable cross-reference.

*watches Lizzy slowly put things together about Wicky* Theeeeeere we go.

She grew absolutely ashamed of herself. Of neither Darcy nor Wickham could she think without feeling she had been blind, partial, prejudiced, absurd.

Okay, but just so long as you're not ashamed of calling him out about Jane, because he really did cock that up royally.

He declared himself to be totally unsuspicious of her sister’s attachment; and she could not help remembering what Charlotte’s opinion had always been. Neither could she deny the justice of his description of Jane. She felt that Jane’s feelings, though fervent, were little displayed, and that there was a constant complacency in her air and manner not often united with great sensibility.

Mmmmm, I'm still on the other side of this. He STILL made an assumption about Jane's feelings without confirming that he was right.

...and as she considered that Jane’s disappointment had in fact been the work of her nearest relations, and reflected how materially the credit of both must be hurt by such impropriety of conduct, she felt depressed beyond anything she had ever known before.

Darcy's off the hook, apparently, for butting his nose into Bingley and Jane's relationship. Meeehhhhhhh, dissatisfactory.

(Chapters 37 and 38)

[otp-holic]

The one place (where something happened) (A03)

“In your life there are a few places, or maybe only the one place, where something happened, and then there are all the other places.” Alice Munro. (or the one where they receive a letter from a familiar name and we go into 4Ks of fluff around a lost afternoon in France)

4K. Lamely explicit at one point. Fanfic + Pictures Inside. Trigger for FLUFF as the main plot. Part of the Never let us lose what we have gained series (AO3)

This was supposed to be a manip with 200 words of bantering and it's now 4Ks of fluff with a few pictures. I've decided to leave them inside the cut because I feel they work better with its context there. I'm sorry for the hassle, but I really hope you give this a chance... unless you have cavities, only like fics with amazing plots or are allergic to shameless fluff.

Please do not repost the pictures, I know this is futile, but… I try :)

DAGUERROTYPE, France 1944 Private Collection.

Steve is cooling down from his very early run, enjoying the feeling of the pink sunrise looming over the awakening Brooklyn streets as he walks the last couple of blocks on the way home, when his phone beeps.

“Check your actual mailbox, we dropped something for you there. I think you should appreciate us making it old-fashioned just for you, grandpas!”

Steve smiles at Sam’s text and as soon as he arrives at their building he snaps a picture of the very common and flat envelope with “Barnes&Rogers” scribbled on top of a Stark Logo, to send along his response.

“Nice try, but this is inaccurate. A letter would have never made its way to us without an address or stamp. We’ll send you a proper thank you card to show you how it’s done.”

He can’t help but chuckle at his own joke rereading the text while he opens the door, and when he looks up from his phone and into the kitchen, he is received by a sleepy Bucky looking at the coffee machine like he looks at Steve during their most soft and embarrassingly cheesy moments.

“You love that thing more than you love me, confess it.”

“In the mornings? Yes. I don’t even like you in the mornings most of the time,” he answers matter of factly. “Want some?”

Steve playfully wiggles an eyebrow.

“No way. Your sweaty self is tempting, but coffee smells better. I might join you in the shower later.” Bucky offers him one of the two cups he has poured and he notices the envelope Steve is holding. “What is that?”

“We’ve got mail!” He hands it to Bucky. “I have no idea what's on it, but Sam texted me to say they had something delivered to our mailbox and there it was. Open it.”

Bucky leaves the cup on the counter, face sparked with a curiosity that makes him look twenty-one (and Steve weak on the knees), and goes for it.

The content is a bit underwhelming at first glance: Another envelope, white, no Stark logo, but topped with a bright green post-it with a note on Pepper’s script.

“This got to me via PR. We analyzed it and checked with the source (no peeking, I swear) and it seems legit. With that return address, it’s likely to arouse your interest. Love, P.”

Bucky tears off the post-it and the letter is revealed to be addressed to Steve Rogers at the Stark Tower, but it is when they turn it around when everything goes still for a second.

The return address is some street in Marseille, but what has Steve’s mouth dry and Bucky’s hand trembling just a bit is the combination of the place and the name written on top: Emmanuelle Jaques Dernier.

“Boom?”, Bucky says, trying to cut through their heavy hearts and taking Steve’s hand. It’s a terrible terrible joke, but Dernier would have loved it and he grins.

“That’s a terrible terrible joke,” Steve verbalizes, “but I think at least we’ve reached the same conclusion.”

“Elementary, my dear Steve,” Bucky answers as he opens the second envelope, only to reveal a folded letter and yet another envelope. “It’s a fucking vault of paper!”

Steve takes the letter from him, unfolds it, and quickly scans it (normal office paper, printed, hand-signed) before he starts reading it out loud to Bucky’s undivided attention.

“Dear Mr. Rogers,

My name is Emmanuelle Dernier and I am the great-grandson of Jaques Dernier of the Howling Commandos.

First, let me tell you that we all in our family grew up with amazing stories and praise for you, Sergeant Barnes, and the rest of the team. I never got to meet my great-grandfather or any of them (you), but I’ve always felt like I did.

In fact, that’s the ultimate reason behind this letter: I ached to honor him and I’ve been putting in order all his remaining letters, pictures, and memories so they don’t get lost forever, and there are many things I’m discovering through this journey. So many pictures and tiny details… and amongst them, you and the rest of the Commandos appear at the most random and memorable moments. Nothing that’s going to make it into history books, more like the stories my grandpa used to share with us over and over again, those important tidbits that make him more human.

Anyway, I was going through the pictures he kept when I came across some war photos that didn’t seem to match the 40s timeframe. Typical daguerreotypes from the 20s in a very bad state, probably taken with a camera from the era in 1944 and developed on a later date by somebody who clearly didn’t master the technique.

They were in a very bad state and hidden inside an envelope that said “Terribly drunk soldiers in France making idiots of ourselves in unique and creative ways. Fun evening, horrible hangover. About 20 miles west of the Maginot Line. Autumn ‘44”. I’m attaching a photocopy of that, I hope you can understand my decision to keep the original.

After restoring the daguerreotypes with some experts, all I got were five very bad pictures with silhouettes of people apparently having fun…. but there was one that got a lot better in the cleaning process that feels important somehow. I’m sending the original, as well as the restored version I got.

I, of course, don’t have the whole context, but I hope it brings back a good memory. My great-grandpa might be in the picture, but I don’t think this one belongs to my family or to a museum.

Thank you for your service, I really hope this letter finds its way to you.

E.Dernier.”

“I can’t believe… Steve, most days I’m convinced that day and that place are a figment of my imagination,” Bucky smiles, remembering. “When I think of a moment of pure joy during the war, I think about that afternoon in France, and it always feels unreal. A bubble of air and laughter while we were so surrounded by death.”

Steve nods, reminiscing about that warm and humid September morning when they arrived at yet another abandoned and destroyed little village, this one about twenty miles west of the Maginot Line. They had orders to lie low and wait for twenty-four hours before they started the maneuver to wipe another Hydra base off the map, and that little town was perfect for that.

Among bomb debris and fallen walls, they found one small building miraculously standing next to the remains of the church, so they decided to set camp under a roof for a change since the weather was being a little flickery with the rain, and they had the rare luxury of time.

The inside of the tiny house was as unusual as the outside: nothing was destroyed beyond being dusty and worn by time, and everything they found (furniture, kitchenware, and even fabrics) belonged more to Steve and Bucky’s early childhoods than to 1944, a living museum frozen in time.

Only it was not a museum, but the parish house left untouched and non-raided: old-fashioned clothes, outdated church books, yellowing clergy collars, and, of course, the wine cellar. Oh, that wine cellar… the havoc it unleashed.

“I remember the absolute excitement when Falsworth found all those bottles of old unscathed mass wine from the parish,” Steve brings his memory to words, looking at Bucky, “I’m still a little convinced that we are going to hell for drinking them.”

“Not for that, probably, but it was a wonder nobody died on the spot of wine poisoning, it tasted like sweet vinegar, ugh.”

“But it did his part, right? Took our minds off things; got us drunk, bold and silly.” Steve answers.

“Apparently not all of us,” Bucky says very seriously, looking at Steve.

“Technicalities… I got drunk by proxy. Seeing you all so happy made me giddy and tipsy, too.”

“I came and went… I remember being a little surprised at the clarity of my thoughts at some moments there when some of the guys were basically drooling on the floor. Now I understand, of course.”

Steve squeezes his hand, not much to be said there.

They were already way too drunk by the early afternoon, drinking to the sound of a sudden rainstorm pouring outside. All of them scattered across the small dusty living room and its adjoining kitchen while they went through all the bottles of wine they had been able to find. Cheering for the foregone priest every time somebody raised a glass, and laughing as if there were no ruins or war on the other side; just silly men (boys, really) laughing their hearts out.

“Earth to Steve… I don’t know about you, but I’m dying to see what the hell that envelope is hiding. Especially now that we know about its time stamp.”

“I’m sorry, me too! Gabe drunkenly handling that old camera and those glass plaques the way he did? I’m honestly impressed that he was able to take any pictures at all,” he muses. “Shit, is it weird that I’m nervous?”

“I’m gonna save us the bantering because I’m nervous, too,” Bucky answers in all sincerity. “Truth is, Steve, I remember everything about that day.”

It’s a new admission, a newly opened door for them because for some reason, they have never talked about that peaceful surreal afternoon, and Steve nods in recognition as he silently goes for the envelope one-handed, not wanting to let go of Bucky’s hand because his surface is way cooler than his wrenching insides. Maybe the picture is an overexposed french wall but maybe…

The photo he extracts from the envelope is clearly the original and damaged one Emmanuelle specified in his letter. Anybody else looking at it would see nothing beyond Dernier’s blurry profile, but since Steve and Bucky were there when this was taken, they know exactly what moment Steve is holding in his hand.

“Buck,…” is all Steve can say, struck by the blurry keepsake.

Later in the afternoon when they had already consumed most of the wine and there was not a single coherent thought left in the room, one of the guys took the parish books and besottedly announced that there was a wedding set for today… thirty years ago. Alcohol fueled a goofy idea that escalated at the speed of light, with Morita saying they were going to a wedding because they deserved a celebration, Dernier confessing that he had once considered becoming a priest, and Dum-dum bringing out all the old fashioned clothes from the wardrobe and deciding they were getting nice and clean for the festivities.

“That’s clearly Dernier in the picture killing it in his priest role, right?” Bucky says, half smiling and interrupting Steve’s thoughts. “You know, I went all-in with that fake wedding party. I was laughing to tears when I saw you put on that ridiculously long and ill-fitting jacket from the 10s, feeling weightless and silly for the first time since sailing off, and God knows we all deserved that. And it was all safe and light-hearted until fucking Morita decided you had to be the groom, and...”

“Were you jealous because I won the dashing groom competition?”

Steve’s attempt at a joke is weak, but there’s truth behind it: Morita chose Steve as the groom (“Cap, you are the most dashing and the least drunk”) to a chorus of excited voices cheering for him. Somebody else, most likely Dum-Dum, chose the rest of the roles (Sarge, best man duty; Jones, camera; Morita, keep the wine flowing; the rest of you, misbehave!) and in the blink of an eye, they were all going outside laughing under a light rain, and about to celebrate Steve’s fictional wedding to nobody.

“How could I be jealous?” Bucky cuts in. “Do you remember all you said to me that afternoon? During World War II and in front of a battalion of men?”

“I was drunk.”

“Fuck you!” Bucky disentangles his hand from Steve’s to use both of them to hold Steve’s face and kiss him with violence. “Tell me. Do you remember what you said?”

As if he could ever forget. He can recall every step he took from the house to the makeshift wedding spot amidst the trees where his best man (looking dapper even in that ludicrous jacket) was laughing along Dernier. He can still smell the petrichor, can still sense the blush coloring his cheeks while hoping nobody noticed and can still hear the beating of his heart when Bucky handed him a battered umbrella (“You don’t deserve to get rained on your wedding day, punk”) and a fucking ring made out his shoelaces (“You’ll have to buy something a little more permanent.”). And then…

“Dernier started the ceremony and he wanted to know if I had somebody in mind and I said ‘of course’.” He replays, his voice barely a whisper. “I said I’d had my eyes on a brown-haired Brooklynite since before I could remember. I said that I was pretty sure those blue eyes were set on mine too and that hopefully those eyes would be set enough to want to marry me even if I had never dared to ask.”

He’s been holding Bucky’s gaze the whole time, and he’s far from over yet, but he needs to fucking breathe before he goes on. Neither of them has moved a muscle for the past minute.

“Then he asked me to repeat the wedding vows after him and…”

“And you said Buck, right?”, Bucky interrupts, voice winded. “You fucking whispered I take you, Buck, as my lawful wedded husband till the end of the line. I heard, Steve. Even if the rest of the world didn’t, I did. But you never said anything, so I always deemed it impossible, a product of the corniest nook of my mind trying to outweigh all those bad things, because not even you could be as bold, reckless, and mushy as to do that,…it’s my fucking fault, I should have known better!”

“Not completely reckless, pal. I was scared shitless as I said those words, but what else could I do? You were right by my side about to put a ring on my finger as my “best man”, everyone, including you, supposedly drunk past recollection, and everybody else too far away to hear my whispers. It was such an easy choice in the end because truth should always win over fear. And those vows were. The truth.”

“You have always been too honest for your own good, Rogers,” Bucky is breathless and exasperated and goes for his mouth again, bringing in all he (they) couldn’t in 1944. “You destroyed me, Steve. My knees were as weak as a teenager’s in front of his first crush. I wanted to kiss you so badly when I heard you say all that there in the open… and I couldn’t even acknowledge it.”

“I know. And for what it's worth, I really thought you didn’t remember.”

It is too much. Is it normal to feel this much? Steve would blame it on the serum enhancements, but he was already overwhelmed at 16, so that’s clearly not the answer.

He craves, no, he needs touching, grounding, closer. Bucky. There’s too much space between them even if they are back to kissing like they would have that day in 44, and at any other time if their own lives wouldn’t have stolen those moments from them.

“It happened.” Bucky whimpers, biting on Steve’s lip who abandons his own stool to straddle him, both of them gasping in sync at the feeling of their cocks, hard against each other’s through their soft pants.

Bucky soon ups the stakes by carding his metal hand through Steve’s hair pulling his head backwards to help himself into that spot on his neck.

“Same two moles as when you were tiny, as when we were at that war... Your cute vampire bite. Favorite spot.” He licks on them with the tip of his tongue. Steve growls on cue and Bucky giggles. “Favorite chain reaction.”

“Buck, you cheater, you know what that does to me!” Steve cries out followed by Bucky’s evil chuckle.”Bed, couch, countertop,…I don’t care, but naked. Now. Stained pants due to heavy petting are too much of a trip down memory lane for me. Let me keep a bit of my dignity.”

Steve stands up liberating Bucky from his grip but aching at the loss of contact.

They are naked and making out in the middle of the kitchen in no time; Bucky steadily pushing him against the refrigerator while fiercely grinding against his crotch.

“Hey, ‘teve,” Bucky pants. “The way this is going, it’s my dignity now that's at risk. I don’t think I can make it further than the floor before I come.”

Steve groans into his mouth just at the thought and they start sliding to the floor the best they can until he’s a human blanket moving over Bucky. With no lube at hand, and no time, that’s their best option.

They kiss and kiss and kiss, his hands not leaving Bucky’s sweaty hair. Bucky’s hands on his ass, forcing their groins closer with one while he (almost absently) plays around his hole with the other, driving Steve crazy in the process. Dicks left to do their own thing through pressure and friction. Everything is working. And fast.

“Oh, fuck!” Bucky exclaims “Can you promise me all this stuff with the letter was real and not a long-con plan to assure your fragile masculinity that I love you more than I love that espresso machine?”

That. That silly unfunny excuse of a joke that screams Bucky all over is what pushes Steve all the way over the edge. He fucking laughs as he comes making absolutely embarrassing sounds, pressing their foreheads and noses together until it hurts, and shaking from head to toe without stoping his pressure on the stupid and smug man under him. His lover. His partner. His unofficial husband. His best friend.

His Buck.

“There’s still too much blood in your brain if you can play that dirty,” Steve states, placing one hand between them grabbing Bucky’s hard cock. “Let’s see if I can do anything about it.”

“Your hand, usually so helpful, but I was already following you after that sound you make when you come and laugh at the same time, shit, it always goes straight to my dick, I’m,…” he keeps talking with difficulty between breaths and moans until he leaves his speech unfinished coming all over Steve’s fist.

They kiss on the lips breathing into each other before Steve rolls over. They are sticky and panting in silence, spread on their kitchen’s floor, Steve’s shoulders crushed between Bucky’s and the dishwasher. Domestic bliss at its most literal.

One lavish fuck and two showers later they reemerge into the kitchen in search of something to eat: Bucky is in charge of the food today, while Steve cleans the mess they left a couple of hours ago.

He’s decluttering the counter when their damaged picture laying there puts a smile on his face but also reminds him of the restored version presumably still waiting inside the disregarded letter, so he grabs the envelope to retrieve its contents: one photocopy (from Dernier’s original writing), and the promised photo.

And it is restored. Everything is clear where it was blurry before: Dernier (so deep into his priest impersonation that he’s not even looking at them), the trees, the battered umbrella, the ridiculous jackets… and them.

“You had the nerve to call me reckless and mushy, Buck?” Steve laughs as he stares at the picture where a very young Bucky is about to put a ring on his finger with the least subtle lovestruck expression he’s ever seen (“and it’s for you”, his brain proudly reminds him) “Wow, you might as well be kissing me there, anything would be more subtle than this!”

“Don’t shame me, you punk, especially not when you were the one responsible for breaking my brain back then!” Bucky answers coming from behind and stealing the picture from his hands to scrutinize it. Goofy grin and raging blush quickly taking over his face. “But you’re one to talk, Cap. You are gazing at that shoelace’s ring as if I were handing you a diamond tiara!”

Steve laughs softly at that and moves his right hand to his pocket, feeling the weight of the little compass he had retrieved earlier from one of his drawers. He used to carry it with him everywhere for comfort, but he has a better option now.

“Didn't you know that shoelaces are forever?” He asks, taking the compass out of his pocket and holding it in both hands as he opens it, nudging Bucky with his elbow to get his attention.

Bucky is confused for an instant while he looks at his young face staring at them from inside the little box. Of course he knew that (he made fun of Steve for days and days) but Steve detects the change in his expression when he notices the other thing.

“Wow, you gigantic sap,” Bucky says, taking the compass out of his hands to double-check he is seeing what he thinks he’s seeing. “You saved my shoelace.”

He had. While they were all celebrating his wedding under the rain dancing to no music, he quietly slipped the little string off his finger and tied it to the most secure place he had back then.

“It’s not a shoelace, you jerk, it’s a symbol. A declaration.” He laughs, stealing the compass back to safely pocket it again.

“You are delusional,” Bucky snorts, kissing the top of his head. But he’s widely smiling and lost in thought as he goes back to their sandwiches.

Steve stays on the spot enjoying the peace in their silent companionship, his focus on the latest news showing up on his phone, the text he’s writing to Sam and the comforting sounds of Bucky moving around the kitchen.

“You might have married me, but I never actually married you.” Bucky blurts out of the blue a bit later, sitting by his side as he hands him a plate with a sandwich and some grilled greens on it. “Do you want mayo with that?”

“Uh?” Steve forgets all about the news and the text and looks at Bucky in confusion.

“Mayo, do you want some?” Bucky repeats nonchalantly.

“No mayo, thank you; but I was actually more interested in the other part, you know, that thing about marriage?”

Bucky looks him in the eye: earnest, blushing and with the same look of smug adoration he had on the picture.

“Oh, that part.” He jokes. “You apparently married me in 1944, but I never married you back. And I would like to.”

“Marry me?” Steve asks and Bucky visibly nods.

“I’m sorry for throwing the idea at you like this, books tell me I'm supposed to have candles, music, and a ring, but you showed me that restored picture and I couldn't stop thinking about it, about proof,” Bucky speaks uncharacteristically slow and very softly, voice trembling here and there while he claps his hand with Steve’s finger by finger for reassurance and as a distraction. “A single photo had the power to transform a moment that existed just as a made-up happy place inside my mind into something tangible and real. Something that would be tangible and real for anybody getting a hold on it and looking at our stupid faces.”

“So stealthy,” Steve says, and they both laugh together.

“Proof, Steve. I was slicing tomatoes and thinking how there’s so much evidence, thousands of files! out there proving that all the stuff that fuels my nightmares were real, but nothing solid about this. Us.” Bucky stops for a moment collecting his thoughts, still smiling even with the heavy subject he just dropped into the mix. “Sorry, I believe I put more time into these sandwiches than into thinking this all the way through so I’m…”

“Take your time, we’ve gone from mayo to marriage to nightmares in five minutes so don’t worry, you have me hooked here.”

Steve makes Bucky laugh again as he intended, and he feels their calloused laced fingers immediately squeezing closer.

“It’s stupid because it doesn’t change anything for us but,.. I don’t fucking know, Steve, I think that picture has messed up with my mind! I instantly found comfort in the idea of people finding facts beyond the nightmares now or in the future. An easy to understand, universal and oversimplified proof of how much I loved you and how much I was loved in return.” Bucky takes a breath and stares at him sporting a million-watt smile. “Marrying you,… I would really love that. And for real this time.”

“Ok, Buck.” Steve instantly replies, eagerness winning over thoughtful and heartfelt declarations. He tightens the grip on their joined hands to drive them to his lips and seals the easiest answer he’s ever had to give.

And it's done!Sorry for the cavities, for going on with the fic when it should have ended and for ending it where it might have had to keep going. It was painful and fun. I'm free!

[beboped1]

Moving Pictures

One thing I'm really enjoying about this project is the opportunity to really consider each book. Most of these I've only read once, as part of one whirlwind hyperfocus dash or other, but the reviews force me to focus on each book one at a time.

Moving Pictures

First Read: High School

Verdict then: Good book, now where's the next one?

Verdict now: A funny, loving, and well executed parody/takedown/homage to Hollywood and movies. You can see a lot of growth as a writer since the conceptually similar Wyrd Sisters.

Despite having read it before, I didn't have any real expectations coming into Moving Pictures. It was one of those books that I read in my first dash through Discworld, borrowing from a couple friends who had them, and got lost in the middle of the dozen or so volumes I devoured in hyperfocus. But I really enjoyed Moving Pictures. Guards, Guards still stands as my favorite so far, but Moving Pictures gave it a run for its money.

I'm a terrible sucker for meta-narrative fuckery, and Moving Pictures has that in spades. The concept of movie reality leaking into the real world, and horrors from beyond being bound by the rules of that manufactures reality is basically catnip for me. Several of the characters are also amazing: Gaspode, Throat, Soll, Bursar, Ridcully all get some great lines and moments. The biggest weakness is ultimately the two leads: Victor is (intentionally, I think) that very bland kind of movie star archetype, and Ginger shows that he still hasn't quite figured out how to write women yet. They don't really seem to have chemistry outside of the set, Victor's attraction to Ginger doesn't seem to go any farther than skin deep, and Ginger has little agency for much of the story. I end up not really believing in their romance.

But oh man, this book is really funny. I mean, I did write a research paper on movies between sound and color in the 8th grade, and haven't lost my love for movies of all eras since, and so one could accuse me of being squarely in the center of the target audience for the humor. But so much of the humor transcends the subject matter. Did I get a good chuckle out of the twisted inversion of a giant woman carrying an ape up a tower and getting shot by two wizards on a broom? Yes, absolutely. But the visuals of the handleman, Ginger, and a dozen wizards frantically riding a giant wheelchair moving at the speed of travel montage? Pure comedy, no additional context needed.

The true heart of this book lies with Gaspode. He carries such human trauma, of one who has been rejected so much that he invites it, almost requires it of those around him. How he grows, learns, and ultimately chooses who he really is over the course of the story. The healing that his unlikely friendship with Laddie brings him. The climactic moment in the theater. He got me at the end too - I really thought Pratchett was going to go through with "the dog dies at the end", but I'm glad he didn't. It wouldn't have fit right with the rest of the story.

Moving Pictures is also a masterclass in how to be broad and focused at the same time. There's a lot that goes on in this book beside the A plot of Victor, Ginger, and Osric - Silverfish & Throat, Throat & Soll, Detritus & Ruby, Gaspode & Laddie, the wizard council, Bursar & Ridcully, the movie palace owners, the troll actors whose names escape me, more I'm sure that I'm forgetting. And yet, the singular frame of "speedrunning Hollywood history through Gone with the Wind" allows all of these pieces to come together into a greater whole. The side stories don't feel like diversions, they feel like valuable asides, painting a richer and more nuanced picture of the humanity & Trollanity behind the dreams of Holy Wood.

Speaking of Trolls, he starts here what I know will be a slow project over several more books, of taking Dwarves and Trolls and turning them into object lessons in the harm of stereotypes. Not by preaching, but by the route of giving them depth & humanity while retaining the pieces that caused them to be stereotyped in the first place. To my eye, his treatment of Trolls here has also maintained a useful distance from reality that the Tecumen in Eric or the Klatchians in Sourcery or Twoflower didn't - the Trolls aren't coded as a specific Earth culture, and so there's less baggage brought in by the reader. It lets the messages of complexity and variety slip under the defenses better.

Moving Pictures is a tremendously successful send up, homage, and skewering of Hollywood culture. With great characters, a breadth that lenses into a singular focus, and with the best physical comedy scenes yet in the series, it really feels like Pratchett is starting to hit his stride. Two decades after my first Discworld book, I'm still so excited to read the next one.

[notwiselybuttoowell]

We're Stewards of Our Land: The Rise of Female Farmers

'I was always fascinated by getting things out of the ground’

Sinead Fenton

Grows vegetables and edible flowers at Aweside Farm, East Sussex

Sinead Fenton is on an early lunch break, hiding from the sun. “It’s ridiculously intense, so I think we’re going to call it a day and crack back on in the evening,” she says. Fenton and her partner, Adam Smith, have been putting in beds and getting ahead on groundwork for next year. This year, there will be no commercial crops on the couple’s 4.5-acre plot.

They signed the papers on their farm last November and moved onto the land in March. Around the time they needed to make decisions about how they’d manage their first harvest, lockdown happened. With restaurants and florists – their main clients – out of action for the foreseeable future, they made the decision not to sow seeds but concentrate on opening up the land. “We were going to do it over three or four years, so we’re squeezing three years of work into this year, so we can focus on growing next year,” Fenton says.

She and Smith cut their scythes at Audacious Veg, a 0.1-acre plot in Hainault, at the end of the Central Line between Essex and London. Shortly after volunteering at the allotment in 2017, they heard the project was about to finish: “Naively, with about three weeks’ worth of growing experience, we decided that we’d take it on and get the produce to chefs.”

Smith worked in insurance accounting and while Fenton most recently worked in software and food policy, her background was in geology. “I came at farming from an activist point of view,” she says. “I was always fascinated by getting things out of the ground, but that is a destructive industry. Farming is nicer because I can do something for the system instead of taking everything from it.”

There was a lot of insecurity around the project. Land is contentious, especially in London, and land law is difficult and expensive to negotiate for those with no farming background. “Adam and I are both from cities – I’m from London, he’s from Essex. We’re from low-income families, and we had no access to farms growing up,” Fenton explains. “It’s basically impossible to get on the land, because it’s so expensive, or passed down through generations.”

They got the land for Aweside through the Ecological Land Co-op, which buys fields designated by Defra as only being good for arable crops, then splits them up to create smallholdings. Aweside is neighbours with a veg-box scheme, and waiting for others who’ll transform what once was a 20-acre maize field into a cluster of small farms rich with biodiversity. Now Fenton and Smith have a 150-year lease, and no worries that what they create will be taken away.

It’s not yet a permanent home. Fenton says they’ll be living in a caravan for a few years: “Another part of land law in the UK that makes land inaccessible is that if you want to live on your land you have to go through five years of proving your business is profitable, viable and that there is a functional need for you to live there.” Having livestock is an easy way to pass the test, but because Aweside is a vegan farm, Fenton and Smith need to cultivate and show they use every bit of plot.

It’s daunting but Fenton is excited about having a blank slate to work with. “There’s so much more to food than what supermarkets tell us to eat,” she says, explaining that they’ll grow varieties at risk of extinction, or that aren’t commonly grown in a mass market food system. “Seed diversity and plant genetics are serious issues.”

The three principles the couple work to are: more flowers, more trees, thriving soil. They’re working no-dig, putting compost directly on the ground and letting the soil life mix everything over time. They’re pesticide-free and are counting on the fact that the more diversity they have in the system, especially with a high proportion of flowers to pollinators and insects, the fewer problems they’ll face.

“Socially, economically and environmentally, something needs to change. Things have been done the same way by the same people for a long time,” says Fenton of the farming industry’s need for greater diversity. “I learned to grow on an allotment site where there are lots of different things growing at once. Bringing that approach into sites like this is needed – the industry needs it to keep itself relevant.”

'I'm hoping this will be seen as quite a cool career… even if it’s not’

Abi Aspen Glencross

Head of grains at Duchess Farms, Hertfordshire

It was, Abi Aspen Glencross was well aware, an odd, even inopportune time to launch a crowdfunding campaign. In June, with the country still locked down, Duchess Farms asked for support to buy dehulling, cleaning and milling equipment. The Hertfordshire farm needed about £16,000, and the money would go towards boosting the production of ancient and heritage grains for making flour.

“A lot of crowdfunders have been for charity or ‘please keep our restaurant open’,” says the 28-year-old Glencross, head of grains – or “senior flour nerd” – at Duchess Farms since 2019. “We felt a bit bad, but we lost a lot of our business overnight when all the restaurants closed and we were like: ‘God, we hope we don’t go under.’ It was quite a scary time for everyone.”

Still, if we have learned one thing from Covid-19, when times are hard, British people get baking. Perhaps inspired by countrywide shortages of flour, maybe invigorated by a new interest in left-field, older wheats such as einkorn and emmer, Duchess Farms sprinted to its target. “We’ve just done some ordering of equipment this morning,” says Aspen, when we speak in July. “It’s been a tough time for everyone but it has cascaded into some beautiful things and we’re just so thankful.”

Glencross’s path to farming was circuitous. She studied chemical engineering, but while her classmates were heading off for jobs at ExxonMobil and Procter & Gamble, she was more of “a hippy at heart”. She decided she wanted to learn more about soil and its role in food production. This led her to Blue Hill Stone Barns, Dan Barber’s pioneering farm-to-table restaurant in the Hudson Valley, north of New York. She spent four months working on the farm and in the bakery, receiving a crash course in ancient grains – an obsession of Barber’s. But the moment Glencross knew she herself wanted to farm came in 2016 in a field in Hertfordshire. She was with John Cherry, who was showing her around Weston Park Farms, 2,500 acres of land he maintains with minimal fertiliser use and zero tillage.

“We were walking around the fields of wheat and I just said: ‘Where does all this go? There’s so much of it,’” Glencross says. “And John goes: ‘Oh probably for animal feed. It’s a consistent market, they’ll take it, it’s easy, even if we don’t earn that much money from it.’ And I was like: ‘This is crazy.’ And that was the beginning of me getting on this grain bender because I was like: ‘Why can’t we grow these grains organically and not feed them to animals?’ So I realised I’d have to start a business, because there were not very many people doing that.”

Heritage grains can be harder to produce in vast quantities – einkorn, especially, is “a bitch to harvest” – but they do have advantages over conventional wheats. They typically have deep roots and grow tall, which means they shade out weeds and do not require chemical sprays. The end product is more nutritious and then there’s the taste. Since 2017, Glencross has run a roving supper club called the Sustainable Food Story with Sadhbh Moore, and Duchess Farms has worked closely with bakeries such as E5 Bakehouse in east London and Gail’s, and restaurants including Doug McMaster’s Silo. “Heritage grains are delicious: when you stop growing for yield and you start growing for quality the flavour is insane,” says Glencross.

Learning to farm from scratch has not been straightforward, but you sense that’s a big part of the appeal for Glencross. “There’s all these decisions the farmer makes throughout the year and why he sprays and why he doesn’t,” she says. “You realise that most people get up, sit at a computer all day and if they press the wrong button, they just delete it. When you’re a farmer, you plant at the wrong time of year and tomorrow it washes away your whole crop.”

Glencross acknowledges that it is almost unprecedented for women to run arable farms. She struggles to name a single other example in the UK. She also notes wryly that men dominate all the farming conferences, saying: “They have a wife but it’s always the men who have written the book and given the presentation.”

With more role models, Glencross hopes things will change. “I’m not cool in any way, but I’m a reasonably young lady,” she says, laughing. “And so when people say: ‘What do you do? Oh, you’re a farmer. Maybe I could do that …’ So I’m hoping that it might become seen as quite a desirable, almost cool career.” A pause: “Even if it’s very much not cool.” 

[chuuyagum]

Here's a writing process question - you have been writing WGYTR with regular updates for like 3 months now and you said you had the overall plot planned out beforehand, so what I'm wondering is how long did it take to make the outline for the whole fic/basically how much prep work did you do before posting the first chapter. Did it take a long time to decide on everything that will happen? Not just WGYTR, the other fics too, and are there some fics that are easier to plan out and then some that are harder because the plot doesn't come as easily? Thank you so much for your wonderful fics and good luck with whatever personal things you have going on🤗💓

thanks so much for this question!! to be honest, i do very little prep before posting my first chapter! clearly this is all in relation to writing multi-chapter fics, as i haven't tried my hand at one shots lately. in that situation i think my process would be different, so keep that in mind!

i like to let my first chapter dictate the tone for the fic, so i tend to start writing it as if it's a one-shot then make sure i end it in a way that gives me room to keep writing. then my second chapter is where i do my real plotting and create my solid outline for the overall fic so the process tends to go like this;

[the explanation below does have mild spoilers for WGYTR however it's nothing specific, only vague plot elements]

come up with an idea - can be very specific or just a vague concept

ex: "Mecha Senku and the magic of lying" just came about because i saw several fics where Gen is Senku's robot and i wanted to try the inverse

decide on tone - will it be fluff, angst, ect?

write the first chapter! i just type this out quickly and with little care for details, its a rough draft so it's just meant as a mental starting point. overall i spend maybe 1 hour total on this draft - i type furiously and just let whatever comes out flow onto the page

outline! now that i have an idea of where i want to go, i can lay out my plot points. but first i jot down overall vibes in no particular order - it can be specific lines of dialog i want to use, specific scenarios or events.

ex: WGYTR - the title itself, "Who gave you the right?" i wanted this one line to define the character interactions. ultimately it's Senku who says the line, but in my outline it was originally Gen! but when i got to the chapter it made more sense for Senku to say it. this fic is all about the characters opening up to one another and allowing themselves to be seen as they are. so, in a sense, Gen was only able to fall in love with Senku because Senku allowed himself to be seen for his true self. and the same applies to Gen. Senku only fell in love with him for the same reason, Gen allowing himself to be seen in turn

plot! this is the easiest part for me in terms of outline, but my explanation may seem kinda daunting. first i lay out a general order of events. this is easier when the fic is canon compliant like WGYTR, but much harder when it's an AU like Mecha Senku. with events i always like to consider what actions logically lead into one another.

ex: WGYTR was quick for me to plot events since it's canon compliant. i chose where in canon it would start, and where it would end, then filled in the rest.

my overall outline looked like this;

- Gen joins the KoS

- Gen plots how to manipulate Senku for everyones benefit

- Senku largely tries to ignore Gen, too focused on his work

- it's still storm season, they get trapped indoors, forcing them to spend time together

- Gen makes a game to play (hadn't decided what game)

- Senku starts to relax as they spend more time together

- Gen develops a crush on Kohaku at the same time he develops a crush on Senku. deliberately squashes the feelings for Senku down

- Winter prep aspects

- Senku accepts Gen as a friend

- Gen accepts his feelings for Senku

- Senku faces his trauma

- Senku accepts his feelings for Gen

- Christmas

- Observatory & Gen's confession

- Finish the phone, fake Lilian

- Chrome is captured & the car

- Stone Wars

- ends just after Stone Wars

start writing chapter 2! now that i have a general idea of where i'm going, i go ahead and write my second chapter. here is where i make any necessary corrections to the direction of events to better fit my general outline

go back and edit chapter 1! nows the time to fix any problems in consistency, tone, direction, ect!

after i have my general points and have started writing, i break it down even further! this is where i start looking for symbols i can use to further my plot, and do research on more specific topics i plan to touch on

ex: WGYTR takes place largely within a huge time skip in canon. they literally jump from late Summer directly to Christmas of all things. so i thought about everything they had to do to get from Summer > Winter. they do show us some of what they did in between in canon, but they really gloss over it quickly, so for my fic i buckled down on the winter prep aspects that took the entire Fall to get done. from there, i broke it down further. if you look at each invention, it follows a process.

- Gen remembers paper is a thing

- Senku sets him up for the process

- the process brings Gen closer to some of the villagers (Ruby, Garnet, Sapphire)

- Gen starts fooling around with the paper and makes pinwheels for the children

- this action signifies to Senku how kind Gen genuinely is

- Gen makes a log book for Senku and a notebook for himself

- Gen uses his notebook to help Ruri and later to do the math for calculating Senku's birthday

if you follow that process linearly, you can link it to three upcoming canon events related to the paper making which tie it all together. since this chain of events begins with Gen, it'll end with Senku. can you guess what he's going to do with the paper next to wrap up this up? ;)

continue writing! i always have one buffer chapter, so i'll have chapter 11 written before i edit and post chapter 10.

now to answer some of your other questions;

did this take long? not really! this whole process, minus the last two steps....takes me maybe 1 day to 1 week total. WGYTR took me 2 days. by day 3 i had my first two chapters ready and the first one was posted! but those last two steps? i do those as i go along! which probably sounds insane now that i think about it lmao

as for fics that are harder to plan - any type of modern AU is much harder for me! im not sure why, but i struggle with it a lot. my soulmark AU, although i haven't felt inspired to write for it lately, was easy for me to plot out since it fits within the larger canon events. so was my short TsukaSenGen AU. but for a modern AU to make sense, there's a lot of elements to consider that aren't provided by canon, like professions and events and existing dialog, which is why i haven't worked on Mecha Senku in months rip

thanks again for your questions, anon! i hope i did well answering them all!! ♡

[bearpillowmonster]

Katawa Shoujo

Now if you never heard of this game, it's a visual novel/dating sim. I even heard that it's one of the best, both free and paid for. It revolves around a school of kids with varying disabilities which is a touchy subject but we'll just roll with it.

My first run, I decided that I'd do it however I wanted, there were a few things I backtracked just to see what happened but I (mostly) just kept it my opinion and ended up with Emi. Why is her hair blonde in game but rosy in the animation? Other than that though, this is pretty well crafted for an indie, I'm convinced that it's as good as any AAA or something you'd pay for. But it didn't come without work, as I'll soon talk about. You'd think you'd get a more definitive choice for the end of Act 1, but my last one was just "Go for it" or "Take it easy" when you're racing her.

The whole game gives a vibe of a breezy summer day which I really enjoy. I think it might be the color palette. There are some character designs that I wish were better even with just minor tweaks but it emits what it's supposed to. And when it doesn't feel like summer, the going to school part feels like the fun part of school when you'd just play paper football and shoot rubberbands.

There's also some NSFW scenes, I can't really remember if I knew those were in there or not but they're there but it's not like you play them or anything. I mostly skimmed them anyway. MC can be a sort of clutz at times with simple stuff throwing him completely off game but there are some good points that the actual plot brings up. Especially the one about how to approach touchy subjects to help someone when they don't want to talk about them. I think that it's relevant to some situations I've been in but I think if I played this in those times, it would've just confused me even more. What do you push on, what do you leave alone?

Second run went to the other person I was after since I couldn't decide between Emi and Shizune. This one I actually followed a guide. I feel like each route lends itself nicely to another run because after that first chapter, you're on a specific road with that girl, and really only talk to that girl so the rest is sort of a mystery. With Emi, her exception was Rin because they were friends. But with Shizune, it's different because Misha is there and you get more insight to other characters through her (even if you don't make any choices with them).

In that first chapter, Shizune and Misha can be kind of annoying because of how they're not exactly friends with the others...however, I'd argue that the others are like that in their own way, you just don't see it as much, especially with Shizune's glowing persistence. In a way, I see it as a front, towards the beginning Hisao (mc) talks about how she's not like he expected but then she gets shy and serious almost like a different person. I think that's her way of opening up, just in reverse from everyone else. She's "territorial". And you can't chalk everything up as her when Misha is involved too, and they even bring that up. That's kind of the theme, that there's a fine line between smothering and helping, how do you truly communicate when you're deaf and don't want to live through your translator? They blend that in with shaping their future.

Hisao is basically the same as last run but I found that he kind of just invites himself to things (which I guess is ironic since they had to try so hard in the beginning to get him to go anywhere) and has some "hot takes" which come across as overzealous. Also Misha's "Bush Cheney 2004" shirt speaks volumes. In terms of age...ah, there are some things some players are gonna hate with this route. I myself don't like this route 'as much' but it's not really a bad route, just one that could be better. Especially with Shizune's past, they tease it with her family and even have a cover of her with her younger self in Ch.4 and while there are themes of that, I feel like we could've gotten it a bit more "clear". I like that it has that scene at the end about opening up, but that maybe should have happened a lot earlier as I don't think they tell each other nearly enough about each other and bringing that up is nice but it leaves more to be desired when selling this relationship.

There's not a 'Misha' route per say but there's a bad ending that has to do with Misha so I just watched it online, they follow the same basic path (which is annoying) but end differently and have different responses from her specifically. That focuses on a much different angle and actually has Hisao telling Misha some of the stuff I wish he'd told Shizune. I almost feel like they focus on Misha too much when it's considered a Shizune route but at the same time, it makes sense that they want to flesh out both.

There are also apparently some pre-release changes (which I only heard about) but I hear that it fits better with the rest of the game as well as giving you different feelings for both endings even in a sort of twisted way. It apparently makes less sense on that family thing though. The way it currently is, I feel like you don't get the full picture unless you get both endings which can be a chore, this is very different than Emi's. But the art is better than it used to be so I commend them for that.

Because it's quarantine, just for funsies, I decided to play along and learned the alphabet in sign language. It wasn't even all that hard, just a few days to get it down without looking at a few letters here and there.

Now, I know if anyone replies to this, they'll say to play a specific character or even all of them and that's fine, I still might, I see that doing that gives you a full picture (literally on the title screen as well) but these were the main two for me.

[elenajohansenreads]

Books I Read in 2021

#83 - Shadowmarch, by Tad Williams

Mount TBR: 69/100

Beat the Backlist Bingo: Cover features your favorite color prominently

Rating: 1/5 stars

Well, that was a slog.

So I have a history with this piece of intellectual property. I was introduced to Williams as an author in college (1998) because several of the friends I made my first year were big fantasy nerds--no surprise there--and I was perfectly ready to move on from my high-school-era love of less sophisticated fantasy authors. I borrowed The Dragonbone Chair from one of those friends and off I went.

So in 2001 when news about Williams writing an online serial went around, and I saw the $15 price tag...well, I was a perpetually almost-broke college student still, and sure I spent money on books, but that was a high gateway, because a) I didn't own my own computer yet, I was borrowing friends' or using the computer lab to write papers and such; and b) sure, a chunky fantasy novel might be $7 or $8 in paperback, but it was portable, easy to reread whenever, and nobody had tablets or smartphones or e-readers yet, so an online serial publication was definitely not portable. Even fifteen dollars seemed like too much for the inconvenience of a book I could only read sitting at a computer, and couldn't read all of at once.

I was genuinely angry about this shift away from the paradigm, and much like Williams vowing this serial was online only and would never be published traditionally (which I distinctly remember but don't actually have a source for) I too vowed that I would never read it.

I held out much longer than he did, if my memory of that claim is even true. But I'm wishing now that I hadn't bothered.

This is bad. Not even close to the level of quality I expect from Williams, based on the earlier Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn series, as well as War of the Flowers--which was weird but I enjoyed it--and the Otherland series, which was even weirder and not always good, but yeah, I still enjoyed that too, for the most part.

Who am I supposed to care about in this book? I'm no stranger to multiple protagonists, but there are simply too many here, meaning none of them get the development time they would need to be interesting. I'm trying to wean myself from the complaint that protagonists need to be "likable," because a character can be a jerk and still be interesting, but few of these protagonists are particularly likable either!

1. Barrick is a whiny jerk who folds under pressure and abdicates responsibility to his sister, and then makes a spectacularly bad decision for no reason other than to set up some tension at the end, and his future arc. If it's because he's "mad," bad plot reason, and if it's because he's affected by the more general shadow-madness, well, I guess he could be vulnerable to it like anyone else, but that's pretty flimsy too. 2. Briony is a fairly standard "if only I weren't a woman, people would take me seriously" princess who doesn't fold as much under pressure but is dealt a really raw deal. I'll give her credit, she does legitimately try her best to rule her lands, but she's also kind of a whiny jerk like her brother, too. 3. Quinnitan is...pointless. Sure, I see how the end of her arc in this book echoes those of the Eddon twins, but there is no direct connection between her plot and anyone else's. And I mean that literally, if there's anything that ties her story to any other single part of the book, I simply do not see it, it's buried in lore or foreshadowing that was lost on me amid the sheer weight of nearly 800 pages of plodding narrative. I read all of her scenes constantly wondering why I should care, and the fact that her arc is a very basic harem plot, "I don't want to be a token wife but really what choice do I have?" sort of thing, doesn't help, because on its own it's incredibly unoriginal. 4. Chert is marginally likable, because he's arguably got the most defined personality and most personal growth in the book, as a person of a "little" race who is distinctly not human--I get a mix of gnome and dwarf, with a faint whiff of Podling from The Dark Crystal--and who deals with an unexpected foundling by taking him into his family and trying to make it work, even when that foundling is really a big blank space in the story who still manages to get into trouble. 5. Captain Vansen gets points from me for being the guardsman deep in unrequited love, which is a trope I would absolutely eat up with a spoon. The problem is, the object of that love is a protagonist I don't care for (Briony,) leading me to question what the eff he's thinking that he can even admire her from a distance, let alone be in infatuation/love. And his plot arc is mostly "something goes wrong that's not really has fault but everyone blames him anyway." Which got dull.

Chert and Vansen are most of the reason this book gets a second star*, honestly. Chert's scenes with the Rooftoppers are generally pretty excellent, even if they're mostly tied to a plot arc that I don't care for.

The other thing that's getting me about this is that it feels like a deliberately grim-dark retread of Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn. You've got a castle that's the seat of current government but used to belong to the enemy--the enemy that no one is sure even exists anymore, that lives in a land far enough away to feel distant but also somehow close enough to be threatening, once people believe in them again. That castle is perched upon magically important ruins/caverns, and that enemy has forms of magic/communication that affect humans and can cause or appear symptomatic of madness. There's a race of small likable people who aren't quite dwarves or any other "standard" fantasy race, but are still somehow cute/appealing. There's a crippled prince who's not really well-liked. One of the primary female protagonists is a young woman who laments the limitations of her womanhood under the patriarchal feudal system of the world.

And to someone who's never read either of these series, that list of similarities could mostly read like fairly common fantasy tropes, and I forgive anyone who reads this review and thinks that. But I've read MSaT probably ten times all the way through in the twenty-plus years since I was introduced to it, and I feel like I've just been handed the same story again, with a thick coat of gray paint slathered on it and a few details changed--and those changes are basically always for the worse. No one in this story can be said to be a direct equivalent to Simon, who gets a very clear hero's journey, but if I'm supposed to slot Barrick in as a Simon/Josua mashup (that crippled prince problem) then it takes the entire book to get Barrick out of his comfort zone and on his journey, where Simon got booted from the castle at the end of the first act of the first book.

And that gets at the underlying problem that is at least partially fueling all other problems--this book is clearly just the first act of the larger story, and yes i know! that is what first books do! but this also doesn't have a lot of forward motion on its own, and it doesn't resolve anything aside from the mystery of a single murder at that happens near the beginning. Seriously, all other plot threads get kicked down the road with the "and now they're exiles" theme that the ending has assigned to most of the protagonists. Chert doesn't suffer that fate, but the ending of his story line--also the end of the book itself--is the foundling reasserting that he doesn't know who he is, which is not new information. We've literally not known who he is the whole time, except that we do find out who his mother is, but don't find out how he was taken or why he apparently hasn't aged as much as he should have or what the Qar intended by sending him back "home." The identity of his mother is basically the least important question surrounding him.

I truly feel like I just read a 750-page prologue, and that is not a good feeling.

*Yeah, I told myself this was a two-star book, but by the time I wrote the whole review, it's not and I can't pretend I still believe that. This is a one-star book. This is so bad I don't want to go on with the series, even though it almost has to get better, now that most of our protagonists are out on their journeys. And because it could hardly get worse, right? But this already took up so much of my time (I had to take a week-long break in the middle to binge some romances, as a relief from all this grimdark toil) and even though I've managed to collect secondhand copies of the rest of the series, and they've been sitting on my shelves for a few years waiting for me to invest my energy into them...I'm giving up. Not worth it.

[scripttorture]

Sorry if something similar has been asked before, I'm writing a story where my main character spends a long period of time in (near) complete social isolation. He's locked in one room with a mechanical bird he made that can physically but not verbally respond to him, but no other contact with anyone else. Food and water isnt an issue. Time works a lot differently in that room, but what sort of mental and physical affects could you expect to see in the equivalent of about 10-15 weeks?

same anon w the bird and isolation: If it would change any answer, this character is roughly his early 30s, the room is the weaponry forge where he works and he's spent around 10 years in it. He started locking the door to keep distractions out but essentially the world ended and he was barricaded in from the outside. isolation anon again pt3, I now realise this doesn't sound like an ask abt the effects of torture, my character does believe he was barricaded in on purpose and then forgotten about, as it has been done to him a few times before (for like a few hours), and while afterwards he knows it wasn't torture, during and for a long time after he believes it was absolutely intentional

-

For the record I do take questions like this, which don’t meet the strict legal definition of torture. You’re talking about something that’s commonly used as a torture technique and asking about the effects (and whether the accidental nature makes a difference to those effects). I can help with that.

 In this particular case I don’t think the fact this is an accident will make much difference. Outlook and intent can make a big difference, informed consent also makes a big difference, but in this case you’re talking about deprivation of something humans need.

 I’ve read interviews where people have had a positive take on losing a limb, going blind and a whole host of other really painful things. But in every case these things were done with informed consent and they didn’t involve deprivation of something we need to survive.

 What I’m driving at here is that humans are social animals, a lack of social contact is profoundly bad for us. In the same way that lack of food, water or oxygen is bad for us. And anything that relies on deprivation of a physical need has knock on physical and psychological effects whether we have a positive take on it or not.

 Basically you’re writing solitary confinement and the good news is that there is a lot of free to access research on that and a wealth of survivor accounts online.

 My masterpost is over here. You might also want to take a look at Shalev’s Sourcebook on Solitary Confinement which I link to as one of my sources. It’s free, online, very detailed and contains a lot of short interviews with survivors.

 The time frame you’ve picked is a pretty good one. It would cause lasting mental health problems but (without prior mental health problems) it would be survivable for most people. You’ve also mitigated most of the factors we know make solitary worse, though not knowing when he’ll be able to come out would have a negative effect.

 Some of the physical symptoms listed in the masterpost, such as eye problems, might be down to bad cell conditions. Most of the data set we have for isolation and solitary confinement comes from prisoners held in cells that we know are too small for comfort and may be sub-standard in a lot of other ways.

 The solitary data set is large enough for a meaningful examination of which symptoms are more common. The trouble is that the papers available don’t really agree. Different types of analysis seem to yield very different results.

 Broadly speaking depression and anxiety tend to come at the top of the list. Hallucinations and psychosis tend to be less common, but they become more likely the longer someone is in solitary confinement and some estimates put hallucinations as high as 30%.

 Not everyone will develop every possible symptom (though keep in mind that a sense of helplessness, anxiety/depression and mood swings are experienced by the majority), so there is some scope to choose what you want your character to experience.

 I think the best way to approach the problem is as a writer: which of the possible symptoms fit best with the character and the story you want to tell?

 I’ve got an example of how to think that through in an ask here. It’s focused on torture generally rather then solitary confinement specifically and there are differences in the possible symptoms.

 I’ve only written solitary confinement once, though I am planning to use it again in other stories. The character I was writing had prior mental health problems and the story was from his perspective. I focused on the worsening of those symptoms because that was something the character was extremely aware of.

 He also experienced memory problems, lethargy, insomnia, hallucinations (partly plot and partly because I’d established he had a prior history of them), self harm and feelings of helplessness. Some of those things, like the memory problems, he was unaware of until other people pointed it out later.

 I choose a lot of those symptoms because I was trying to create an unsettling, dream-like feeling in the narrative. I wanted the lines between reality and hallucinations to blur.

 I’ve also written a character who was socially isolated. She was camping in the woods with some (but probably not enough) human contact. She didn’t have prior mental health problems and wasn’t isolated for as long as the character in solitary. She was also younger.

 The symptoms I picked for her were mood swings, irrational impulses, depression and feelings of helplessness. Again these fed into the overall plot, some of which could only go forward if she made spur of the moment decisions without entirely thinking things through.

 Look up Shalev’s sourcebook and read the survivor accounts. I think they’ll give you a good idea of the sorts of things people experience in solitary.

 After that approach the list of symptoms as a writer: think about which symptoms can feed in to what you’ve planned for the story, tone of the narrative or the character. Symptoms aren’t a block on the story. They’re another element we can use to add to it.

 I hope that helps. :)

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[littlemisssquiggles]

Is it me, or has Ren been purposely distant/annoyed with Nora lately. I've caught on multiple occasions (Mostly CH 1,3,4 and now 5) where Nora will do something and Ren will ignore it, shake his head at her, or just bluntly call her out. It seems to me that RT might be setting up a possible conflict with Renora where Ren might actually snap at Nora for not taking something seriously and be all "Why cant you take anything serious?!" I'm very curious about this--What do you think?

Hmm…well to be fair anon-chan; while seeing Ren flat out turn down Nora’s compliment about his new outfit, much to her disappointment, was annoying to see as a Renora-shipper, outside of that, Ren’s behaviour with Nora doesn’t seem that much different. At least to me.

We’ve seen Ren make dry remarks in response to Nora’s animated outbursts in the past. But for the most part Ren has always been quite patient with Nora; allowing her to be as loud and outspoken as she wants to be and a part of me would like to think that Ren’s unyielding patience with Nora stems from their time surviving on their own together particularly the night Ren protected Nora from the Nevermore.

Nora used to be so scared and soft spoken when we first saw her as a little girl back during the Kunoyuri episode. It’s almost hard to believe she evolved into the exuberant young woman we know her to be. And I think part of that is due inpart to Ren always encouraging her to be that way with him.

The only times Ren’s sudden change in behaviour toward Nora stood out to me the most was in V7CH1 where Ren took off in combat without Nora, much to her clear annoyance and of course their moment in CH3. 

Since Ren was seen being trained personally by Elm (and getting his ass clobbered) in V7CH5, I’m curious to know if this will become a routine thing for him. 

Constantly training, particularly with Elm as part of his regiment when he isn’t on mission or doing team training with Nora, Jaune and perhaps Oscar too from time to time. 

Though that montage with Ren and Elm was short, it was enough for me to take note of it. Why? Because it ties into my theory for Ren’s strange behaviour for this season. As I once told another anon-ninja, I chucked up Ren’s sudden distance of Nora as his way of giving himself some space so that he can grow stronger as a fighter and huntsmen.

Despite starting off as a seemingly weak-minded, scared little girl, Nora has evolved into a powerhouse. She’s definitely become a stronger person than she was before when she met Ren. 

So much so that my idea was that Ren must’ve compared himself to Nora and Jaune and realized that he may be the weakest link within his team. Nora has always been a raging force of nature not to be messed with while Jaune himself has shown immense improvement over the seasons.He’s been especially impressive for this season so far.

Of the JNR trio, Ren is the one to have grown the least in terms of battle prowess. I remember how quickly he would get winded out in a fight after using his aura. Not to mention that another habit I’ve noticed of Ren in the line of combat is getting himself knocked out too easily during a fight and needing Nora to come save him.

It happened back in V1 when Ren jumped on the Death stalker’s back and got himself flung into a pillar leading to Nora coming in to avenge him alongside Pyrhha and Jaune in their first team fight when JNPR was forged.

It happened back in V2 when Yang knocked him down during the RWBY vs JNPR food fight leading to Nora tagging herself in for him.  

It happened in V3 during the JNPR vs BRNZ fight at the Vytal Festival where Ren got taken out by Nolan leading to Nora coming to his defence once again.

It happened back in V4 when he nearly got himself killed by the Nuckelavee if Nora hadn’t intervened. 

It happened in V5 when Hazel took him out, leading to Nora to come to his rescue and send the Juggernaut flying straight through the front door. 

It even happened again in V6 with Ren getting himself taken away by Cordovin leading Nora to fire after the mechazord to get him back. Not to mention that Ren’s stunt left him unable to help defend and/or protect the rest of his team on the ground.

So yeah, as you can tell by my recap, Ren doesn’t do so hot defending himself on the battlefield despite being a competent fight. Nora coming to his aid all the time really has become a glaring habit.

Though the PLOT hasn’t given me much proof to this, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Ren has probably done some self-assessment within recent times and has now made up his mind while the group is in Atlas to strive to improve himself and get stronger, not just for himself but for his teammates, especially Nora.

Now that I think about it, Neon’s quick jab at Ren during the JN(P)R vs FNKI battle from V7CH5 could be used as further justification for my theory:

“…Wow, your boyfriend’s actually holding his own.”

Neon saying that reaffirms my earlier point about how much Ren fumbles in a fight on his own. And I think that’s the reason for his current mood. 

While I do think you might ultimately be correct too in the PLOT setting up a potential fight or tension between our favourite Flower Power pair, for me I feel it has less to do with Nora not being able to take things seriously and more on Ren needing to get stronger. Or hey, maybe both of our theories are correct?

What would make this even more interesting is if Ren’s sudden desire to become stronger ties into what he and everyone recently learnt regarding Salem. 

It would be cool if the whole truth about Salem has secretly been weighing on Ren since Argus and it just occurred to him that if any of them were to attempt to go up against the Wicked Witch—even without her immortality, Ren wouldn’t stand a chance against Salem. He wouldn’t even be able to hold her back in his current shape.

Perhaps…this might even force Ren to think back to the RNJR encounter with Tyrian Callows back in V4 and remember how useless he made himself appear up against a formidable opponent like that who proclaimed himself as a servant of Salem. 

If Ren couldn’t even hold his own against one of Salem’s forces then how can he even call himself a warrior? Shoot, he didn’t even stand a chance against Hazel---another confirmed member of Salem’s forces. 

How was he supposed to defend himself against them, let alone his friends? Let alone his girlfriend and closest companion.

And Ren taking the upcoming fight against Salem moreseriously while Nora isn’t could tie into your hunch regarding his frustration over Nora’s nonchalance? Who knows? It’s another idea for the table of possibilities.

All this being said, a part of me is really hoping for a prospective JNPR 2.0-centric episode for V7.

I want to know what their thoughts on Ruby’s actions in V7CH2 were like. Thus far we have only covered what RWBY thinks with Weiss, Blake and Yang basically playing follow the leader and siding with Ruby. However we don’t know how Jaune, Ren and Nora took the news. We haven’t seen them antagonize Ruby or any of the RWBY girls at all.

One the contrary, JNR behave just as normally as they ever did with RWBY which says they’re fine with the way things are for now.

I find that to be a little odd given how strongly JNR reacted to the truth about Salem back in V6CH8. Perhaps their all hiding their true thoughts for the sake of friendship with Ruby and Team RWBY. 

But I wonder how JNR will think about the matter once they hear it from the perspective of someone who doesn’t share in Ruby’s approach—another smaller, more honest soul who the trio have gradually been growing closer to. 

It’d be interesting if we got Oscar approaching JNR for support with him possibly going forward and unveiling the truth to Ironwood. Or at least back him up when confronting Ruby again on the subject.

For me, I mostly want an episode that focuses on Ren and Nora confronting the growing strain in their relationship while potentially leading into a discussion of their past together but from Nora’s point of view this time.

I also wish for an episode like this to show Oscar conflicted on the right approach while confiding in Jaune.

@megashadowdragon​ shared with me their theory on Jaune telling Oscar about the time he forged his admission papers to get into Beacon Academy. I can see Jaune talking to Oscar in regards to his feelings while using himself as an example in morality.

I have a strong feeling that this WILL surely happen down the line. While we got a teaser of Oscar training with Ironwood in CH5, it is to be noted that Oscar’s training was assigned to help him jog Oz out of his mind.

Though things are reasonably friendly between Oscar and Ironwood at the moment, it wouldn’t surprise if down the line James starts to grow wary when he acknowledges that the training regimen hasn’t been successful in bringing Oz back. 

While it’s definitely assisted in Oscar’s improvement as a huntsman, as I said, the purpose of the training was to bring back Oz. So if nothing happens in that regard, James will start to get suspicious. He might even start to probe Oscar for more information on his current predicament which could potentially poke holes in Ruby’s swish cheese of an alibi from V7CH2.

Perhaps…even the talk of aura experiments will finally be brought up from this. Imagine if…Ironwood eventually makes the proposition for Oscar to allow Atlas to run tests on his aura as another alternative to forcing Oz to return…unless Oscar gives him a valid reason while he shouldn’t let him undergo experimentation—meaning the truth.

Perhaps…it’ll be a case where Oscar becomes frightened regarding the thought of undergoing experimentation. It’s basically a prospect where Ironwood has unknowingly backed Oscar into a corner based on Ruby’s lie; so to speak. So either the truth comes out or…Oscar gets experimented on for no reason?

And we all know how nice those Atlesian Aura Experiments go for their subjects, right? I know Jaune certainly remembers how great it was for Pyrhha back in V3. 

I dunno. I’m only bringing this concept up since I’m curious to know when the PLOT will reintroduce Atlas’ experimental aura technology and research that was revealed back in V3. I still have a feeling that’s going to come back somehow. Either it’ll be part of Oscar’s story for V7 or be savoured for the subplot with our revealed Winter Maiden: Fria.

As an alternative, Oscar could just eventually start to feel pressured by keeping the truth from the General, seeing how kind he and his lieutenants have been to him and the others. 

Oscar becomes conflicted on what the right thing to do should be. He knows that the Relic of Knowledge is in his possession since Ruby trusted it with him. But at the same time, the little barn prince is also fully aware that one question still remains with the lamp—a question that could be used to unveil the whole truth to Ironwood. The problem is will Ruby want to do that?

Oh! What if…we got a JNPR parallel to RWBY in V7CH2 where Oscar confides in JNR that he wishes to reveal the truth to Ironwood using the Relic of Knowledge but is conflicted about it? One of the JNR members then prompts Oscar with the question on whether he spoke to Ruby regarding his decision.

This now brings me to my Pinehead headcanon where Ruby and Oscar meet alone and get into one big argument over their differing sentiments on trusting Ironwood with the whole truth. 

In the end, Oscar begrudgingly returns the Relic to Ruby before parting ways with her implying that he was going to leave the team because of her; or something to that liking. 

My rationale for wanting a plot point like this is due to its connection to the Little Prince story where the Prince left his home planet after growing frustrated with his rose. 

Since the Prince left because of his rose, I considered something like that happening with Oscar where he decides to either leave the team again or just Ruby in general out of his disappointment and frustration with her recent choice of actions and attitude towards such actions. 

So the little barn prince takes himself out of the equation and abandons his little red rose, returning the Relic to her because he wasn’t prepared to be the one to do to Ruby what she did to Ozpin back in V6. 

Nor did he have the heart to watch her become someone else he didn’t recognize. Or something alone those lines.

 As I’ve said before, I don’t wish for Oscar to go behind Ruby’s back and tattle on her to the General. I would actually hate it if the PLOT made Oscar do that to Ruby since, I don’t think Oscar would ever do that to her. We all saw how shattered Oz was following the ordeal and I’m certain Oscar felt his pain and sadness in that moment too despite not being in control. 

So forgive me if this squiggle meister just can’t fathom Oscar putting Ruby through that. In my mind, he would NEVER. Not to her. 

Instead what I’m banking on is a chain reaction of events that result in Oscar convincing Ruby that coming clean about the whole truth to their Atlesian Allies about Salem is the right call so that she could reveal the truth herself. 

Ruby is the one responsible for planting the group in potential hot water with James after she lied the first time; possibly on Oscar’s behalf which was admittedly bold of her since Oscar didn’t exactly ask her to do that for him.

 If the truth is to be revealed, it has to come from Ruby. Heck, perhaps …she and Oscar can both tell the General the truth together since, as I said, the Rosebuds are the drivers of this subplot. 

It still really bothers me how the heroes (most  of them anyways) really believe that lying to James—the man confirmed to be paranoid about being betrayed by those closest to him—- is a good call especially after the events of V6.

I’m even more stunned at Qrow. Qrow knows James probably a lot better than Ruby does and after what happened with Oz back in Argus, it honestly baffles me how complacent Qrow is being about keeping the truth from James especially after he went through an ordeal where he was devastated by truth after being unaware of it for years. It just doesn’t make sense to me at all.

But going back to Ren and Nora now, as I’ll reiterate I think Ren’s behaviour is about growing stronger. 

Back in V5, Ren was the one to question how the heroes were going to win the fight against Salem if she can’t be killed. That was mainly his reaction to the truth while Jaune and Nora most responded in anger.

“…If Salem can’t be killed, then how are we supposed to win this?” 

Seriously, we haven’t seen such a fire in Ren’s eyes since V4 against the Nuckelavee and his whole history with the beast that killed his family and destroyed his home village. So I’m assuming his key story for V7 will be bettering himself as a warrior for the people around him and for the upcoming war with Salem and the chaos that will happen once the truth comes out to the General and the rest of Remnant.

Those are my thoughts on that for now.

 ~LittleMissSquiggles (2019)