#i havent actually read beyond any read mores yet but i...........might

[devotedlystrangewizard]

the school arc to me is so good because it drags ciel out of his position as a powerful figure and literally places him in the shoes of the person he could have been. the circus arc ALSO drags him out of his position as big bad queens watch dog/head of the phantomhive estate but the school arc feels like a mockery of a future that never was. this is what he could have been had his parents not died. and even then its NOT because he will never be that kid.

he never was.

[estrophore]

Signalis Post (barely coherent thought vomit)

So I finished signalis on Monday and i think ive just about recovered enough for me to make a gush post about it on tumblr dot com, which i think i have to do cause i dont think any other game has really hit me as hard as this one. Spoilers obvs.

Being pre-transion, with that associated depression and closing off from oneself, ive always found it difficult to get out my feelings, even in private with just myself, and yet signalis has filled me throughout with its beautiful romantic melancholy and left me genuinely sobbing for the gay robot and her space girlfriend (almost worried that if id played this game on estrogen it might actually have just killed me on the spot). the only other times i can think of where i really cried were playing We Know The Devil near the beginning of the year, which really fkin hit the part of me that struggles to accept myself, and that time i rewatched the last episode of she-ra after reading the ‘Word War Etheria’ fanfic, which brings the characters so much more to life i fell for them all over again.

Signalis is a game that calls back to a lot of classic horror like resident evil and silent hill, which i havent got round to playing any of yet, but i think nostalgia works both ways sometimes and i’ll be playing them sooner now. sometimes horror gets stereotyped as all death and violence, some games fill themselves with skulls and corpses, and big ugly monsters and basically shout ‘DEATH!’ in your face repeatedly and it all just comes off as a bit garish and ridiculous and not actually very scary really. Signalis sits at the other end of that scale (with some of my other fav horror games like soma, cry of fear) where its environs are most usually just… quiet. Still. Muffled. Sad. just as often as theres tension or creeping fear because of this i find theres a strange kind of comfort too. Maybe its just that in most other genres of games theres so much of music, UI elements, pickups and interactibles with vibrant design. Here, theres room for your mind to just occupy the space. A soft fog. A dimly lit room. An empty train. Snow out a window. Liminal spaces that dont expect anything from you.

Signalis is a game thats just simply, unapologetically gay, and i dont think i would have been quite so invested in Elster and Ariane’s relationship if they were a straight couple. Its why representation is important, if art’s way for us to explore our emotions then its important to have media that we can relate to. Even Adler’s role isnt typically masculine. Our replika characters are manufactured, designed for certain roles in the base. Notes from the tough Stars and Storchs in the shooting range, the dollish Eules with the fairy lights and music player in the dorm. I couldnt help but think of groups of Eules sat around chatting, together, and im yearning for that feeling of togetherness, of understanding a friend that closely. I somehow missed the couple in the mineshaft (next playthough, ill find you v_v ). Despite the harshness of life in the Eusan nation (especially for the gestalts) the characters in it are defined by their feelings of belonging and hope. With the obvious parallels to east germany, i think of posters of cosmonauts and space travel from the time. Propaganda, sure but also made with the genuine belief in something greater. When the events of the game take this away, well, we find the last Kolibri, whod rather lose herself than lose her [ah. Im not sure theres a word here to properly describe the relationship they embody]. Its a game defined by loneliness.

We dont lie up at night scared by some corrupted android. We arent stuck with horror at the flesh everywhere, not on its own. We lie awake thinking about Elster and Ariane’s love for each other, the horror of their decline, the futility of trying to hold on forever. Its existential horror done perfectly. It shows an ending postponed and stretched far beyond its limits, and so squarely reminds you that you do, in fact, have to die one day. You’ll break down. One day you’ll say your last words to the people you love and you wont even know you have. Ariane’s final few diaries arrive with the full force of the narrative behind it, like a spear through my heart. For the record, I got the promise ending. Im still sad. It's a game about raging desperately against an unfair ending. I might think about this game for the rest of my life. I would sincerely say its an artistic masterpiece, by the sure definition of video games as art.

I like that the story leaves a lot open and abstract. I think it makes the emotional themes takes centre stage more. And i havent had nearly enough time to sift through it and come up with my own takes, we’ll need a few more playthroughs for that. And theres so much more to say that cant go in just these few paragraphs! Signalis is a game about two girls who had to run away from everything to find someone they belonged with. The universe may be cold and bleak, but you have to try, you might just find something beautiful, even if it doesnt last forever. I think if anything, we should all have the chance to find love and happiness like that, and we shouldnt have abandon a world that doesnt work for us to do it.

[magicstormfrostfire]

Fanfic fanons that are now canon in Monkie Kid!

This is a sequel to my post in 2021 'Things that I have to keep reminding myself are not true (or at the very least not confirmed) in 'Lego Monkie Kid' because Fandom and Fanfics have warped my perception of reality' back when we only had seasons 1-2! I made a funny list of lmk fanon tropes I found in fanfics so much that they kinda made me forget what was real and what was fanon. But after season 4 and the special, I decided to go back over things because a LOT has changed. So, without further ado, lets get into all the juicy details (with pictures!) hehehe~

Despite the events of 'Shadow Play' the rest of the gang does not know about Macaque

Okay so this one got solved immediately after season 2. Like Mac just showed up right where s2 ended. He made his presence known. Repeatedly! Relentlessly! I love him btw.

MK has never told Sun Wukong that Macaque appeared while he was gone

I listed this one specifically because some fics decide to either have MK confess to Wukong that Mac's been in contact with him after his debut episode, or MK might keep it a secret. But in the grand scheme since his debut, its kinda irrelevant now. Man is everywhere.

The Gold Fillet has not been mentioned

This is also no longer true! I mean we see it a lot but there's not a conversation about it specifically. I think that counts... (We're gonna get to the juicy ones I promise)

MK's real name has not been mentioned in the Dub

Still true! (I should clarify; I mean they havent told us what it is. Only that MK is a nickname because his real name is too long.)

MK does not have any confirmed biological family details

Whew, okay so this one is harder. We know that MK was adopted by Pigsy after being born from a stone on FFM just like Sun Wukong. So while its not exactly like Wukong laid him as a stone egg (I mean...he might've idk) its safe to say he is more related to Wukong biologically than anyone else. Right?....I think.

MK does not have an older sister

Still true, for reasons above! (Him having an older sister happened in fanfics a lot more than you'd think)

Reincarnation has not been confirmed or denied

Comfirmed now! It was HEAVILY implied in season 3 toward the end anyway heh.

Red Son and MK are not dating

YET. (But they do have cute moments -crosses fingers-)

Pigsy and Tang are not dating

Im HAPPY to say that this one is actually sort of implied to be canon? I could list a bunch of knowing looks and one off remarks but I'd be here all day gushing so I'll just go with the most obvious piece of evidence. Season 4's Pig-Napped! Has a moment where Tang is trying to get through to Pigsy, who is trapped in his ancestor's body. He mentions that he has "dedicated his life to this man (Pigsy)" and idk how else to read that if ya know what I mean. (Also this cuddle moment when he got Pigsy back. Tee-hee)

Sun Wukong and Macaque have not had any kind of relation or relationship confirmed beyond "Beloved Friends"

This one is ALSO having some VIBES but not anything confirming enough for me to outright say its canon. Though there's...there's somethin' goin on. Shadow Play set the table but seasons 3-4 gave us a FUCKING ANGST MEAL.

and the special we learn a lot more about Macaque and Wukong's relationship. They were canonically a lot closer and more affectionate than I had originally expected and the implication of being "sworn brothers" the two sharing a home at FFM, and peach metaphors/nicknames I could write a whole book about. I can't really say it has anything as concrete as Tang saying his life is for Pigsy, but I can say the implications are MIGHTY, and their wounds are DEEP. (Shadowpeach flows in my veins so deeply, season 5 please give me what I need its Sonadow but Monkey men please gods, all of the gods, just give me--)

Mei, Red Son, and MK have never had a party or a sleepover

Weirdly enough, this totally happened??? Like not gonna lie out of all of these things on this list, this one was the one I didn't expect to come through. But they did sleep over at Red's place, and had a beach party at the end of s4.

Lady Bone Demon has not been directly referred to as White Bone Spirit in the Dub

This is true, likely because they just went with a different name entirely for the English dub.

The Shame Temple is not for sex

YET.

There is no Easter Bunny, There is no Tooth Fairy, and there is no Spindrax

Honestly considering what happened to the spider gang as a whole, I'm not surprised this is still true....(RIP)

MK has not called Pigsy Dadsy (Update: a few people have confirmed this has happened) and Mk has not called Sun Wukong Dad

Im including these two together (even though the Dadsy one was already confirmed in s1) for a few reasons because I feel like I need to talk about why.

MK not only has called Pigsy Dadsy, he says flat out in season 4 that Pigsy is his dad, due to adopting him. This is in reply to Mei saying that Wukong is his dad, due to the whole stone monkey thing. While its implied he and Wukong are cut from the same cloth somehow, both being mystic stone monkeys, MK only sees Pigsy as his true father.

Macaque has not been redeemed yet

This one is a lot more nuanced. While Mac is no longer their enemy and is a reluctant ally, I wouldn't call him redeemed necessary. This is mostly because around the end of season3 and all of season 4 we begin to delve into the complexity of Wukong/Macaque. It's shown that both parties did damage and hurt each other in the past. It feels a bit black and white to try and put all the blame on Macaque and say he needs to be 'redeemed' now that we know more about the two monkeys. But for the sake of argument, I will say that as of season 4, Macaque can be considered one of the good guys even if they're not his 'friends.'

His relationship with Wukong is just beginning to mend and that's a whole different can of worms, but as past antagonists go, I'd say he's got a seal of approval when it comes to being a reliable ally.

Aaaaannnddddd that's all the ones I had! This was really fun to comb through all of the fanfic themes and see how much they've snuck their way into canon (or were flat out proven to be the deal from the start) since season 2! Hopefully once season 5 rolls around I can address some of these unconfirmed fanfic themes again, and maybe even have new ones! (Right now the only one I can think of is Azure having romantic feelings for Wukong but since he's kinda gone idk if that would ever come up)

If anyone has some other fanfic themes that are so fanon they get mixed up with canon, let me know so I can make a list! mwhehehe UwU

[kozykricket]

some terapagos-centric speculation

alright well back into pokemon brainrot perhaps since the actually interesting to me part of SV dlc (the silly turtle) is very soon um so. i got spoiled by a leaker on a story beat i think? but i wont mention that anywhere here. however i WILL be speculating (without any leaks involved in speculation) about the lore of catching all of the series' past legendaries, using information on the official site. if you havent beaten SV and found out some terapagos lore, or if you dont want to look at the official information on the website then dont read ahead!

Let me first just... put what they have on the page for catching old legendaries "In order to encounter these Legendary Pokémon, first talk to Snacksworth at Blueberry Academy. If you’ve met certain conditions, you’ll be able to get snacks from Snacksworth that let you encounter specific Legendary Pokémon back in the Paldea region. Snacksworth will share his extensive knowledge of these Legendary Pokémon with you, as well as tales of his heroic encounters with them. Why not listen to what he has to say?"

To receive snacks that allow you to encounter these Legendary Pokémon, you must complete Blueberry Quests (BBQs) and report back to Snacksworth.

I think you can read a lot into this. First of all, BBQs is brilliant. but second of all Let's recall what everyone generally concludes paradox pokemon to be, in relation to terapagos. I'm a bit rusty on my SV lore, but as I recall, the general theory is that the paradox pokemon are all created by desire / powered by imagination. From the drawings in the books that aren't fully accurate, to heath waking up having written what I see as designs for the """time machine""" (what I believe to just be a helpful power source for terapagos) to arven literally questioning (especially notable in violet) how his father would have been inspired to bring pokemon from the future... by a book recounting pokemon from the future. from the past. I mean, heck, tera crystals even... somehow power AI sada / turo, and they say that what humanity is capable of isnt really... well, they're beyond our technology. yet they also cannot leave area zero. Theres more to it than that, I think. and I haven't even seen what lil baby terapagos does with liko in the anime... but I think its pretty safe to say this is some sort of wish-maker pokemon, that gives you tangible results, if you just think powerfully enough about something. One might even say... if you practically felt like you were there.

Heck I bet heath was so bored about seeing nothing interesting that he just... IMAGINED some weird freaky not-quite-pokemon. and terapagos thus made them real. but only a bit. Note that the only paradox mons we see outside the crater are the paradox donphan, which is the only one in the book... and the paradox of cyclizar, which was very close to heath. Powerful memories with cyclizar would create a powerful creature I imagine So, back to snacksworth. They're vague about the "certain requirements" for catching past legendary pokemon. I think this honestly just means we need terapagos, or... terapagos' blessing. or whatever. whether we catch it, whether theres only one, i dont even know.

I think he's just a nerd who happens to be giving us exactly what we need to manifest these legendaries into existence (he probably doesnt even know lol). Why would the SV protags know about all these legendaries, what they were like? Well, they dont. but he has extensive knowledge... to clearly give us an idea of what they're like. And he has "heroic tales" of him having met them before. I imagine that'll be essentially the fuel for like- "take this snack and when you eat it, it'll be as if you're about to have an encounter with them just like the story I told you!"

it'll make you feel like you were there because of associating the food with his Legendary Encounter Story (whether hes lying or not lol) and using that, combined with our newfound knowledge on what these legendaries are... terapagos will summon it into existence!

Essentially: Snack = reminds us of a heroic encounter with a legendary thus Idea of a legendary encounter + clear knowledge about said legendary pokemon + funny turtle = legendary

[dandyshucks]

hiii dandy !! i wanted to ask, what do you think you and guzma would do post-canon after the events of sun & moon ? (i might have asked this before - if i have, i apologize..) (i also wanted to say that its been really cool seeing ur progress on ur plush!! it seems so hard, so you having that skill is rly admirable and i wish u lots of luck w finishing it!!) (@dmclr)

CLARA HI i hope u (and dimitri hehe) are doing well :] !!! wah thank u for the question, u havent asked it before dw !!! 

OKAY SO admittedly I mostly only know the story through reading Guz’s wiki page a few times (teehee) and through osmosis from the general fandom dsgjkl, i want to play the game one day and maybe read the manga, and I’ve watched the anime eps he’s featured in and that’s all i’m watching of that LOL. I haven’t actually experienced much of his story (or su/mo in general) first-hand myself though fdsjkl

answer below the cut because.... the rambler's curse got me LOL

after the events of su/mo, I don’t think he’d actually disband Team Skull because… what is the point of that honestly LOL, so Team Skull stays together in MY version of the world hehe. they’re required to do community service to make up for whatever shenanigans they get up to, but they stop stealing pokemon and move onto just like… graffiti and casual pranks and stuff. they still cause trouble, but it’s mostly mischief now rather than any actual crime. I set them up to work on murals for shop owners around the islands so they can spraypaint and be artistic that way rather than randomly tagging walls and getting into trouble for it fjdskl. they keep their disdain for authority figures and rules because at the end of the day most of them are rowdy teens who feel outcasted from society, and that’s just the way the ball rolls with them (also a certain level of that is healthy and warranted tbh). I work with Plumeria to organize events and outings (outside of community service) for the squad though, which helps give everyone healthier outlets for their energy and focus.

Hala mentors Guz to help put him onto (and keep him on) the right track, and Guz learns to appreciate the islands and their traditions a bit - even if he still doesn’t agree with all of them. Part of that mentorship is also sort of therapy (in a more holistic naturally-occurring way rather than like... clinical therapist sitting with patient), so trauma gets unpacked and healthier ways of handling emotions are learned and implemented. Also fuck the Aether Foundation HFDSJKL I keep Guz far away from Lusamine and make sure she never gets close to him again (idk what Gladion and Lillie get up to, I haven’t thought enough about them yet fsjkl). There’s a lot of healing and self-improvement and learning how to Be A PersonTM for both of us tbh!

Beyond that, it is mostly just regular Alola/island living!! Beach visits, walking around, getting ice cream and popsicles, casual battles with tourists, catching wimpods, all that sort of thing :] Also we visit Sinnoh (my home region) for half the year (i have… a whole schedule worked out for that actually LOL) so there’s that, too.

as for the plushie omg thank u sm WAUGH :D i cannot tell if it’s just because i have a weird hodge-podge skillset but i DO think it is not actually all that difficult !!! you just need a pattern for cutting the felt and then I learned the ladder stitch for hand-sewing, and it’s been very straightforward on how to sew the pieces together!! the hardest part so far has just been the hair because I have a difficult time translating 2D images to 3D reality in that way.

I just really want to encourage ppl to try their hand at new crafts and creative skills because I think it’s really fun and honestly really good for ppls well-being!! i am very passionate about making creativity accessible to people as much as possible!!! maybe i could make a tutorial or smth… the pattern I'm using is free and available on the creator’s website, and it’s genuinely not that difficult esp compared to some other things i’ve tried my hand at in the past LOL I feel like some of my paper mache projects have been more complex than this lil goober!!

THANK YOU AGAIN, AND SORRY ABOUT BECOMING THE RAMBLING RAMBLER LMAO i actually entirely rewrote this once because I wanted to shorten it and it STILL ended up this long 😭

[hraugur]

shit, buddy

you ever get into something that isn’t, like. that good. like, it’s alright, the plot is serviceable and has its moments here and there, ups and downs, highs and lows. but the characters are really fun and the dynamics have a lot of potential and a lot of the people making it are obviously skilled.

and there’s a lot of good shit that could hypothetically happen if all that potential is used to its full capacity but it probably won’t because why would good things ever happen. so it’s carried almost entirely by the fandom and the headcanons the fandom builds around it. because that has happened to me twice now.

i thought wednesday was fine. not great, not terrible, just fine. the plot was a pretty standard YA supernatural crime thing and it was serviceable and like, not too bad, all things considered. but the characters were really great, i thought. especially the dynamic between enid and wednesday was really good. or, well, not even good, it just had a lot of potential, which i think is mostly owed to how well the actresses mesh and get along because the plot and the writing sure as shit was not doing them any favors. like it had enough potential for me to immediately go look for fanfics back when i watched it in fuckin november, and i’m *still* reading fanfics about them routinely and it’s almost february. i havent been this into a ship in AGES, dude. and it’s just like. i dunno, it’s so clear to me that that is literally all thanks to the chemistry between jenna ortega and emma myers. and it’s just so disappointing to see yet another example of very clear queerbaiting, like, you cannot deny how romantic that final hug was between them, wayyyy wayyyyy more so than anything involving any of the fuckin stale piece of bread white boys in the cast. not to imply that those actors didn’t do a good job or anything but it was just like. there is nothing here. there is absolutely no chemistry between these characters. what fucking signals, tyler. and it’s fuckin weird cause it wasn’t even built up all that well or anything, all things considered. and it was STILL leagues beyond anything else in the show in terms of emotional impact and potential for romance. BANG. enid transforms to protect wednesday. BANG. violence committed. BANG. stumble through the woods covered in blood. BANG. oh hi ajax. BANG. is that wednesday? get the fuck out of my way snakeboy i gotta go hug my GIRL cause we’ve been through the fuckin MEATGRINDER together dude. and it’s just so fuckin lame that john netflix is afraid of taking a fucking risk. or not even a risk, like, dude, it’s 2023, wake the fuck up. because, i dunno. i guess i’m conflicted when i see people tear into the show and call the writing terrible because, i mean, yeah, it wasn’t anything special, but the characters have so much potential and again, dude, there was a shitton of CHEMISTRY happening. and obviously i’m just some clown on the internet, i know nothing about what it’s like to be famous or in the spotlight, but i can’t imagine that being basically just a kid at 20 and seeing grown ass adults talk shit at something you worked hard on feels even remotely good. it’s conflicting. i liked parts of it, but most of what i liked has since been expanded on by the fandom and made better and more interesting, so my view on things is probably bit skewed by now and i’m not fuckin joking when i say i have read several books worth of fanfics in the last two months LMFAO. like, i dunno, take yoko for example. actually not even a character in the show. fanon, though? brilliant. oscar worthy. perfect. i love her. canonically she might as well not exist but she has been utilized to such perfection in fanon that i’m honestly sitting here just going, dude, how did they fuck that up? there is a perfectly good shithead-vampire-induced series of comedy moments LINED UP and nobody in the writers room even considered it. it’s just so LAME to see these loser corporations drop the ball on something that could have so EASILY been great or at LEAST good. like there are a shitton of really good ideas floating around on ao3 and i’m just sitting here like, how the fuck didn’t these professional writers think of this? i’m pretty sure i have more stuff i want to say about it but i tend to start talking in circles and repeating myself when i need to express something that causes conflict in my brain. blagh. i dunno. i’m not sure where i’m going with this. i saw a post where some guy tore into the show pretty harshly. and because i enjoyed parts of it, liked the performances of most of the cast despite the flaws in the plot and am really into a ship from the show, some part of me became defensive but like, phrasing aside, nothing the dude said was anything i particularly disagreed with. and that’s kind of a weird headspace to be in, i guess. the other example of this is obviously homestuck, the epilogues and homestuck 2 and i’m not even going to get into that fuckin total shitshow.

[shortkingvi]

I've read a few books that were marketed to me as like 'and its top ten queer books' and after putting it down i was just like oh so that actually just took time off my life like did we not have an editor?? did we just let this person write whatever no proofreading for narrative under the guise of 'its gay?' I'm not even sure what I'm upset about im trying to understand like is it bc queer writers have wobbly new writer legs? bc we havent been given the same amount of practise opportunities as the wider cishet authors have had? is it bc its a smaller pond so we just have fewer gems comparatively due to numbers alone?? is it just a failure of editors ??? feels like Good Queer content is so hard to fine comparatively to like more 'sword lesbians' and 'twilight but gay', not to gatekeep at all im just disheartened

omg guys LOVING these asks today LOVING the opportunity to pontificate on the media industry

so basically i think this is a twofold issue and i will answer this as such:

first, i believe that the same can be said for books directed toward young women. there’s a reason john greens and stephenie meyers and books like divergent are arguably barely readable and yet widely marketed and pushed toward preteen and teen girls. the reason why is because teen girls, like queer people, are NEVER the target demo. speaking as a person in marketing and media, the target demo is almost always men 18-34 or adults 25-54

this results in a lack of care or even consideration that queer people or young women deserve complexity or well executed stories! because we are always the afterthought!

the second issue here is somewhat a fault of internet fan culture. because of the prevalence and popularity of things like fanfiction or fancams or compilations or AUs or other things along this line, queer consumers oft enter into consumption from the lens of someone either already knowing the characters or someone SPECIFICALLY looking for queer as the backbone of the product

i can’t tell you how many people i’ve seen saying “oh i’ve never watched the show/movie but i watch comps of the queer ship and read fanfic about them!!” like??????? do you not realize the issue here? fanfic and compilations presuppose knowledge on the product, meaning they do not teach you how to consume a narrative, fill in blanks yourself, or establish your own thoughts on the successes or failings of the product

which means!!! when these people begin to recommend books or other media to your their frame of reference is “it’s queer!” because even if they’ve consumed the whole product, they’re hardwired to think that all consumers are searching for solely queer rep and not like,,,,,,, well-executed queer rep. it’s genuinely a side effect of the filter bubble era and the assumption that no one cares about narrative because my uwu gay little website rarely interacts with plot and regularly only focuses on ships

romance and sexuality and identity and love is good. it can strengthen and develop a narrative beyond where you might expect it to be. some of the most beautiful stories live and die based on whether their romance delivers on what it attempts to. however,,,,,,,,,, we are humans beyond who we love just as characters and plots exist beyond those same parameters. i wish people would try and remember that

little add on here that of COURSE i would never begrudge or belittle someone who consumes a product solely because it’s queer, particularly young people who are newly out. i was there once. as a kid raised in a catholic family who went to a catholic school all her life, i salivated at any glimpse of myself in media. i don’t fault any young person for this. BUT! at the same time, you do eventually need to become critical of the media you consume

you should never let corporations and conglomerates trick you into thinking half assed narratives are worth it solely because they’re a little diverse because then we’ll never truly break the chains of capitalism, rainbow capitalism, and heteronormative hegemonies that seek to push us to the fringes and give us the leftovers not deemed good enough for cishets. that’s all

[mihai-florescu]

It's fun!! I got to chapter 11 I think?? The arc where the mosquito women suck people's brain out to do capitalism and Mihai just throws the kids in a life endangering Situation for his own entertainment because the ghoul boy who's name I keep forgetting broke his wrist and at the end of the arc Nobimaru gets introduced too that one.

I'm so bad at remembering names so this is gonna be horrible but I really like Inugami I think his name was he's very neat!! And I really like the kids too Akira especially gnc king <3

And yeah as mentioned I think Mihai is very cool he's such a guy!! When Inugami introduced his character and he's set up like this mysterious, very capable, responsible and wise guy and then just "and then he got addicted to Japanese online-games" that was very funny. And the way he's just living in the basement and him leaving his room being practically unheard of and also the "You were about to call him a Slave weren't you?" "No of course not. Cease those boorish suspicions" exchange I think that was also really amusing. He's very cool I like him :)

I think Inari is very pretty but I don't really have other feelings about her beyond a mild scepticism because her vibes are kinda off but I really like Kon she's very cute very cat-y I like her and. Nobimaru. He's so fun. First chapter he shows up in immediately gets rid of evidence corpses and says he hates his boss I like him he's very fun

I'm not really sure in which direction the plot's gonna go because as for now the main thing seems to be Ghoul boy wanting to find out about his parents but my gut feeling tells me that's more of a ''starting point'' (???) And the actual plot is just like. Vaguely connected to that?? Could also be wrong though so hmm idk what to expect but I'm looking forward to it it's a nice read until now (mangadex tagged it as tragedy though so I'm expecting...well. tragedy ig)

@ your last part y,, yeah,, um. It might be too late now to send the tw list but i think ill dm u regardless, but basically get ready for the next 2 arcs to have some SA and CSA for characters you havent met yet. But im glad you like it so far!^^ the plot does indeed start from "finding parents" but they need to retrieve more kemono calculi before, and that's where we're at now. Excited for you to meet more of the antagonists later<3 but, like, yeah, there are gonna be quite some trigger heavy scenes soon lmk if you have any issues with, well, anything.

[atlabeth]

neighborly things - sokka x fem!reader

summary: reader can’t make things for shit. thankfully, she has a cute and crafty neighbor willing to help her. 

a/n: im so sorry lmao. i have requests and i have 2 series that havent been updated in like a month but sometimes i just need to write a stupid little oneshot to get back in the writing mood. i did this in an hour 

im not a screwdriver expert so dont come at me if some of this info is wrong lmao 

wc: 1.6k 

warning(s): some cursing but otherwise pure fluff. also i didnt proofread im SORRY im pretty sure they laugh grin and smile like 200 times 

-

“Dammit!” 

 Anyone unfortunate enough to have a place near you during this time would have heard the phrase on more than twenty occasions, and it wasn’t even noon yet. You had gotten the parts in the mail to put together a new dresser a couple days ago, and had finally decided to take on the task. You didn’t know if it was because you were inexperienced with furniture or just lacked basic comprehension skills, but it was proving to be no less than Herculean. 

 You threw the screwdriver at the wall and fell back to the floor as you let your arms sprawl out above you. You had been trying to screw in a part for no less than thirty minutes, and if a miracle didn’t happen right about now, you were going to lose your mind. 

Your head snapped towards the door when she heard a knock, and your brows creased. “God?” You muttered as you got up, wondering if you had actually thought a miracle into existence. 

 You weren’t greeted by a deity when you opened the door, but the man standing in front of you was pretty damn close. With ocean blue eyes, hair pulled back in a ponytail with shaved sides, and toned arms, he was a sight to behold. But you had no idea why he was in front of your door. 

 “Hey, are you okay?” He questioned, genuine concern in his tone. 

 “Um, yeah, why?” You were trying to rack your brain for any memory of this guy — because you knew you would remember him if you had seen him before — but to no avail. “Also, who are you and why are you here?”

 “Right,” he chuckled. “My name’s Sokka. I’m your neighbor; I live—” he gestured at the door just next to your place, “—over there. Moved in a couple weeks ago, so that’s probably why you don’t know me. I’ve just been hearing a lot of cursing and loud noises coming from your place, so I figured I would stop in and see what was going on.” 

 “Oh. That’s.. very considerate of you, Sokka. I’m just…” you sighed and chuckled at the ridiculousness of it all. “I’m just trying to put together a dresser, and it’s not going well at all. That latest sound you heard was the culmination of my rage. I threw a screwdriver at the wall.” 

 “Yeah, that’ll do it,” he laughed. “Listen. I don’t wanna intrude on you or anything, but I happen to be pretty good at putting things together. I had to do a lot of furniture construction when I first moved in, plus I’m the one all my friends call when they need help with putting anything together. I could probably help you with whatever’s troubling you.”  

 “Are you serious?” 

 “Oh, no. I just go door to door joking around with people, asking if they need help with their furniture, sometimes I ask if their refrigerator is running? It really gets a kick out of them.” 

 You rolled your eyes goodnaturedly and stepped aside so he could enter your apartment. “Thank you so much, Sokka. I’ve read the instructions a million times, I seriously don’t know what I’m doing wrong.” 

 He crouched down and picked up the manual, turning to a dog-eared page and skimming over the instructions. He pointed at the screwdriver you had thrown against the wall and glanced back at you. “Is that the one you’ve been using?” 

 You closed and locked the door behind him then walked over to the wall, picking up the unfortunate victim of your anger and spinning it in your hands. “Yeah, why?” 

 “Do you know what kind it is?” 

 “Um.. maybe? God, I don’t know. I think it’s a Phillip’s head?” 

 Sokka laughed and shook his head, holding up the manual so you could see it. “That’s where you’re going wrong. You need a Pozidriv for these screws — they’re similar enough that anyone can make a mistake.”

 You stared at Sokka in complete amazement — apparently, your savior lived next door, and he came in the form of a handsome guy with basic knowledge on putting furniture together. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” you said as you walked over and took the booklet from himl. You flipped through it a couple times and read over the part, shaking your head in disbelief. 

 “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!” you repeated, louder this time. “Do you know how long I’ve been trying to get that thing to- to work, to screw, to— whatever you call it?” 

 “It’s actually to—”

 “Thirty minutes!” You interrupted, earning a small chuckle from Sokka. “Thirty damn minutes that I have been trying to get that screw in, and it’s all because I was using the wrong screwdriver. Why would they make screwdrivers that are so similar but aren’t interchangeable?!” 

 He shrugged and held up his hands. “Don’t ask me — I don’t make the rules, I just follow them. But like I said; this dresser might fall apart if you keep using this thing. I actually have a Pozidriv back at my place, I can go get it and we can finish this up together.” 

 “God, that would be the biggest help,” you admitted. “But I don’t wanna take up your time — I don’t know how I would even repay you.” 

 “I’m doing this because I want to help you,” he said. “You don’t have to repay me. Think of it as… as a neighborly thing.” 

 “A neighborly thing?” you repeated with a laugh. “Well, if you’re offering, I’m definitely not going to refuse.” 

 “I am offering,” Sokka winked. “And unless you want to be at this for another three days, I think you should take that offer.” 

 You pretended to deliberate over it before letting out an exaggerated sigh. “I guess I’ll let you help me. I mean, really you should be thanking me for this brilliant opportunity to, um.. hone your skills.” 

 He laughed, a brilliant sound that made your heart sing, and nodded as he went back to the door. “Thank you so much for letting me put together this dresser. Truly, it’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

 “Then I’m happy to be of assistance.” 

 Sokka grinned then unlocked and opened the door. “I’ll be right back, then we can get started.”

 -

 Once he got back, the two of you got to work. The next three hours passed so quickly as you and Sokka talked about everything from the work you did to people in your lives (no girlfriend, thankfully), to exchanging stories — even the silence, though rare, was comfortable. 

 Sokka pushed the last drawer into its place then clapped his hands as he stood up, admiring the fruits of your labor. “And that’s it! We’re done.”

 “Wait, we’re done? Already?” You set down the instruction manual and stood up as well, backing up to Sokka’s position to see what he saw. “Wow, that looks.. that looks just like the picture. We are good at this! Well, you’re really good at this, I’m good at keeping you entertained. But still!” 

 You held your hand up for a high five and he laughed, but not without meeting it with a satisfying clap. 

 “It does look pretty good,” he admitted. “And not only do you have a brand new, fully functioning dresser, you also had the priceless experience of spending three hours with the neighbor you know nothing about.” 

 “That’s not true,” you countered. “I know that you’re really good at putting things together, you’re a genius when it comes to anything math or science, and you hate blueberries.” 

 Sokka snickered and brushed his hands off on his jeans. “That’s everything there is to know.” 

 “I dunno, Sokka. You seem like a pretty interesting guy.”

 “Really?”

 “Yeah. It’s not every day that someone offers to put together a whole dresser just because they feel bad.”

 “Well—” he tore off a blank part of the instruction manual and picked up a spare pen from the counter, then put it up against the wall as he scribbled something on it. Sokka put the pen down and handed the slip of paper to you with a smile. “If you ever need any more help with furniture, then call me.” 

 You could feel your cheeks heat up as you took the paper. Your fingers brushed ever so slightly as you took the slip of paper, and you decided to just go for it. You bit back a grin and tried to sound as innocuous as possible. “And if I want to get to know you beyond the blueberries?” 

 Sokka laughed and leaned against the doorframe. “Definitely call me.”  

 “Great.” 

 The two of you smiled at each other like idiots for way too long before a notification from his phone broke the silence. He jumped from the sudden noise and dug his phone out of his pocket, giving you an apologetic look. “Sorry, my sister just texted me and I gotta get over to her place.” Sokka started towards the door then paused and turned around. “I actually had a lot of fun doing this, though. I’ll see you around, yeah?” 

 “Yeah.” You knew you had that same smile on your face, but it just wouldn’t go away. His energy was contagious. “Definitely.” 

 “Great.” He winked at you one last time then left, closing the door behind him, and finally snapping you out of your spell. 

 You leaned against the dresser and stared at the slip of paper in your hands, committing the number to memory. 

 You were definitely going to take him up on that offer. 

-

perm tag list: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin​

[coldvampire]

parliament of knives hasnt officially updated yet as far as im aware but it looks like some new things have been added into the code in preparation 

i saw something in the code a while back about being a malkavian but this is the first time ive seen it on the startup page so thats something neat. & lucca was teased a while back as being one of the potential romance paths, so no real surprise there. her section has no variables in it for now, and i havent combed the rest of the text to see if its been added in the actual game, but at least we know its definitely on the way. no bouchard romance variables to be found, but i know there was some point where jeffrey dean either implied or outright said that was something he wanted to explore. it might just not be in the code yet, or it could just be shelved for now. i 100% believe he was serious about wanting to add that in though and i can already see the skeleton of how it would develop even just playing though bouchard’s alliance or speaking positively to him. 

now this could have fully been there before and i just missed it, but ive peeled back ch 10 more than a few times now trying to see how i can trigger the best ending, and i dont remember this section being there at all. its definitely interesting though and im glad that kashif gets some more screentime. the last time he featured prominently in one of my playthroughs i somehow got him executed so uh. this is Much Better. but it seems overall he has more variables/appearances in general based on what looks to be a fairly updated/reorganized startup page. i wouldnt be super surprised to see him get a romance path later on either ngl. 

i definitely Do Not remember reading this before? it seems like its probably one of the better endings to get especially if you like corliss. its the final choice of the ending options on the page (so far) & its also an ‘*else’ choice, so im not really sure what conditions need to be satisfied for it beyond not meeting the conditions for any other ending? idk. corliss has always wound up dead in my games & thats a very easy thing to do for the most part so im not really sure how to get here without pissing everyone off royally lmao, but it could be interesting to aim for & see what happens. willing to bet it might be one of the ends thats dependent on adeline being destroyed, unless thats just a scenario you avoid entirely if you encounter annabelle. which might be required here? since she’s present and ends up throwing herself out the goddamn window lmao. i think? seeing as corliss is being told to take her job? tbh i had no idea there would be any possibility of working with arundel and corliss at the same time. 

the ‘ending’ label here refers to the ‘we hope you enjoyed playing’ screen to my understanding, so thats genuinely just the end of that route here. i think. to get this result you probably have to investigate the tremere? thats really the only way i can see this being a natural result, although i didnt get the impression that was the route to take if you wanted to find arundel? i’m pretty sure adeline being involved is unavoidable, but i wonder if this is an ending you can only trigger if your version of chapter 7 is the second version with jordan. (its entirely possible im very confused gfhgjh) 

this isnt new i just think its kind of funny that qui is the Only One so far with a break up option lmao. and the scene itself is so sad too like gfhgjh why must we be given the opportunity to witness his suffering he sounds so dejected.

and i also dont think this is new i just never caught it before now since iirc qui diablerizing the lasombra was always a possibility. but he really does have some very unfortunate options available doesnt he ghghkj

half of this is just me guessing lmao this game has a Very Impressive number of routes and options and its difficult to reverse engineer some of these endings without actually playing through all of the options presented. unfortunately im Extremely Attached to my toreador and her choices/relationships at the moment so the odds of me doing that are admittedly not great, but seeing the raw code & potential options is something ive enjoyed doing since night road (& its also a much faster way of fact checking for fic lmaooo) 

[candiliam328]

There’s a song called the killing kind by marianas trench it’s not something I’ve heard musically before but it’s really cool u might like it

me vibing and then suddenly THAT middle happens:

ANON YOU KNOW MY TASTES. I DID ENJOY VERY MUCH THANK YOU.

oh you clicked "read more"? here's some musical overanalysis lol

standard disclaimer applies: hi im not a music major, pls disregard everything below, idk what im saying lol

...

before we start, let's talk about some typical downfalls of long songs:

issue #1: the human attention span is admittedly not great. and this is the biggest issue with long songs or pieces - if you are not exciting enough, you will inevitably lose your audience. but if you are too exciting too soon for too long, you will overwhelm your audience and again inevitably lose them.

issue #2: you start amazing but... nowhere to go. think of it like a film or a story with a great concept or interesting set-up, but very little beyond that. the ending leaves you desiring more and you leave feeling unfulfilled. some songs are like that - they climax a little too early and then you have about 4 minutes of boring filler until it unceremoniously... ends. yike. (there's actually one song in particular that im thinking of that had a really exciting buildup and concept, but i just... i wanted more lol. big sad moment)

ok so those are the typical pitfalls. how do we avoid that? much like in writing or in film, music tends to follow some form structure and can be "outlined" if you will.... so....

let's talk musical forms! there are several different forms or structures any piece of music can take and several classical pieces must follow these structures strictly to be considered a Rondo or a Sonata, etc. there are 2 main categories of forms for songs: "strophic" and "through-composed."

"strophic" is probably what you initially think of for pop music: repetitive verse and refrain structure. however, this song is closer to being "through-composed," which is properly defined as being continuous, non-sectional, and non-repetitive. since pop music is known for being repetitive, we tend to stretch the definition to include songs that (as in this case) have distinct and repeated sections, but once a section is left, it is never revisited.

(other examples of "through-composed" form in pop songs include "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen or "Happiness is a Warm Gun" by The Beatles !)

when talking about musical forms, we tend to write it in letter structure. a strict strophic song would be written as AAAA (one piece of music that is repeated 4 times), while a strict through-composed song would be written as ABCD (4 separate music ideas that are played straight through and are never revisited). for this song, though, i would probably write it to be something out like AABCC' + coda and transition music in between... (rip i havent had to write letter structure in so long pls dont judge)

so with a musical form, you can make a gameplan and hopefully avoid structural issues where you just get lost in the sauce as you are composing. and tldr: this song utilizes a relatively unique musical structure for a pop song.

ok thats cool and all but you may be wondering: how do we deal with attention span aspect? easy.

variety is the spice of life, my friend. even in a standard strophic song, you can change the backing instrumentation with each repetition and even allow it to gradually build so that you feel a sense of fulfillment by the end as all the backing instruments come together. very standard stuff and the more you listen for it, the more you can hear it in nearly every pop song - yes, even in this one! so hey, while we're here, let's walk through it together:

funny side note: unlike with classical music pieces, there's technically a lot of flexibility with what you can do and where you can go with pop music and yet, most pop music we hear is extremely repetitive and based on simple 4 chord progressions. (music now is so weird i swear like wtf are we doing @ contemporary composers) we could talk about why that is the case and all that messy stuff but there is already at least 2k words below so i think we should just get right to it asjakjajajjaaj

...

{ A: the basic pop music section } (sorry)

we open with some nice pizzicato and a 4 chord progression. (thankfully not those 4 chords lol but still a decently common progression? bonus challenge: sing "Shape of You" over that opening, its pretty fun!)

just like we mentioned before, our gameplan is starting bare and simple so that we have room to grow as the section plays on - so we gradually add in some idiophone and backup vocals and strings.

(and yo the swell of the backup vocals at the end of the refrain after the repeated "my love is the killing kind" ? chills. that is beyond the 4 chords stuff and a good taste of what is to come. A+ dissonant work.)

with the repeat of the section, we get some drums and other midi backing layers, but it is still very stripped down compared to most music. if you listen closely, you can hear a countermelody playing that gets more prominent as the section continues to develop.

and then the brass kicks in and ~oh baby~ that is the deep music layer that we have been missing this entire time. the layers have built up at this point and again if you listen super closely, you can even hear some creepy vocals floating in that are separate from the countermelody and accompaniment and hnnnnnnng yes yes yes.

(it is music appreciation hour, folks and it is mostly just me losing it and rambling incoherently - woo)

ok but let's stop really quickly before we get back to this section's refrain and talk about why this works. we know that it's a good way to keep your audience engaged and interested in the music, but there must be another reason why we built up from a very basic pizzicato to a fully layered backing in this song.......

...

{ quick side bar: lets talk about lyrics! }

hi. my name is bean. and i tend to forget about lyrics. and yes, there are lyrics to this song. yes, we should talk about them lol. (i wrote this whole thing and then realized i completely ignored this very important aspect of the song so yes please @ me, this is the last section i added)

most music, regardless of whether or not they have lyrics, is trying to convey some kind of story. and there is a very interesting narrative that this song follows, at least the way i hear it (more in part two 👀).

in short, the lyrics appear to depict an individual that is lonely and is convinced that his affection pushes people away. and the song is directed to us, the listeners, who in this narrative play his old love(s) and continue to haunt him. which is such an interesting concept and it feels as though we are helpless listeners to a man slowly descending into madness and whoooooooo ~ its good stuff anon. its good stuff.

however, for this narrative to most effectively be delivered, all aspects of the music must work together and be in agreement with the narrative. the lyrics may be the main vessel but the accompaniment and backing must reflect and support that as well (just like the score in a film!)

and with all that being said, let's return to part A....

...

{ A : continued }

let's talk about how the backing elements and the lyrics work together to help set the scene in the opening.

we've opened with pizzicato and vocals. "pizzicato" by definition requires you to play detached (plucking the strings rather than bowing) and it often invokes a bright and light feeling in this pitch range. texturally, it provides a nice juxtaposition with the dark/heavy lyrics. add in the whimsical, high pitched idiophone chimes and the effect is ten-fold. but let's consider how this works with the lyrics to convince you the singer is alone:

"I roam these halls / search the night / in hopes that I might see / a remnant trace, a glimpse of you / I stare into the deep"

with the pizzicato and the hits of the idiophone, each note is disconnected from the other, just as the singer appears disconnected from everyone else.

when do we first hear the backup vocals? the first time he sings "the killing kind." could it be those vocals are representing ghosts that are haunting him? perhaps the singer is not as alone as we initially thought...

we've started very high in the musical registers. as we hit the repeat, layers build and lower registers start to appear.

"try and try to let you go / and i'll just disappear / go down below where children go / and we all float down here"

the joint work of the lower registers appearing and the inclusion of lyrics, such as "let you go" and "go down below" invokes the imagery of falling. hence begins the singer's descent into madness. an ominous countermelody gets louder as the singer seems to fall deeper and deeper and ooooooooh~ isnt that great.

with the repeat of the refrain, we get the hard-hitting brass and piano and it feels as though we've arrived. we've reached our final destination and the music has achieved its final form. if this were a typical pop song, this would be the end of our evolution.

however......

....

{ the first transition }

ok ill be honest with you anon. this transition is what got me sold. on my first listen, i had been wondering up until this point why this song was sent in and then oooooooh boiiii - that modulation? that is some solid modulation. the rhythm patterns? the piano? THE BRASS FLOURISHES. hot dang. god im not qualified to talk about how good this transition is, but asjkajajajaja i love it so much.

...

{ B: the development }

( let me be honest, anon, a big cause for delay in this answer is actually this section in particular. i swear ive heard the melody for "one for the memory, two for the pain" before but i can't. find. it. (so i give up) it's a nice melody at the very least. and by my ear, a musical line that we haven't heard yet in the song so yay! )

real quick let me explain the name. first time i heard this song and realized there were three distinct sections, i was thinking about sonata form. sonatas have 3 distinct parts: exposition, development, and recapitulation. the exposition is your main musical idea and you do some standard things to it before heading to your development. and the development is pretty much when you can go ham. be a little weird! do cool things! explore musical ideas before you have to return to your main musical idea with the recapitulation. (we don't return to our original musical idea in this song, but hey, just work with me a bit here lol)

in short: i love this development. remember those two issues we mentioned that long songs encounter? this development is what allows us to avoid them.

issue #1: the human attention span kinda sucks.

one of your biggest enemies here? repetition. but a good development gets rid of that problem for you since you have now stopped repeating and are now going on a separate adventure (a side quest if you will) which is hopefully enough to keep your audience captivated and engaged on your path to the ending.

issue #2: the song climaxed too hard, too quickly.

that first transition was, for lack of a better descriptor, EPIC™️ - there were power chords and melodic screaming and imaginary pyrotechnics in my mental concert stage. how can you even top that??

the answer is: you don't. don't even try. just drop off, take a hard turn left, and take a moment to catch your breath. like i always say: the rests in the music are just as important as the actual music itself. its the contrast and presence of both that makes it interesting.

(side note: other pop music do utilize this phenomenon to an extent! beyond a typical bridge, i think of the sudden acapella moments in the middle of songs to create the eventual "drop" as all the instruments come back in and gets audiences pumped.)

remember all that build up we did in part A? yeah, we're scrapping it - we're starting fresh with completely cut audio and building up again new, slightly changed but still similar enough to parallel.

the main accompaniment in part A was pizzicato ? ok, let's change the accompaniment for part B to legato, bowed strings. it's a fresh start and let's be clear about that. however, let's bring in that idiophone again as accents for the accompaniment. we're entering more familiar territory and letting it slowly all build back up again, taking our time with it in a way to contrast with the craziness of the transition.

and now, remember what i said about the melody line for this section maybe being somewhat familiar? whether or not that is true, the rhyme should be familiar to most, if not all listeners:

"one for the memory, two for the pain"

clearly meant to invoke the classic: "one for the money, two for the show"

the lyrics and the rhythm applied to the lyrics are very familiar and comforting and combined with the relatively toned down accompaniment? amazing contrast with the transition. A+ work.

now, how does this all fit with the narrative of the song?

this section is to me like a skewed nursery rhyme. its comforting but the lyrics are telling me it shouldn't be. its the return of that fun juxtaposition from section A.

our singer is haunted by ghosts (of us), but he seems ok with it? even comforted by it? with each repetition of the "one for the --, two for the --" section, it feels as though the singer is singing to himself and swigging another drink. drinking makes the ghosts feel more prominent and we see that reflected in the music as it swells and becomes more dramatic.

also worthy of note is the incremental modulation up throughout this section to create this suspenseful feeling that we are still "going somewhere." but its the opposite feeling as before - we are no longer descending into madness but ascending into some unknown fantasy.

...

{ the second transition }

........ theremin my beloved ??? 👀👀👀

god im so partial to the transitions - is it obvious they're my favorite parts? like i can't even talk about how good they are, im just *MWAH*

however, i'd like to draw our attention to these particular lyrics:

(in part B) "sing it for me baby / singing me to sleep"

(transition) "i dream of you / evermore"

GOD. this imagery. we are still climbing but it feels much more unnatural and hazy this time (god i hope that's theremin, thats my best guess)

AND HELLO RETURN OF THE BRASS CALL.

so brass is really funny. its an incredibly cinematic choice and you usually hear it when there's a victory. gosh, i know how twisted is that? the singer has appeared to have died or completely left this realm of reality and we're celebrating it with a victorious flourish? i love it. i love it so much holy crap.

...

{ C : the last bit + the coda }

FINAL HOME STRETCH! (if you've actually made it this far, idk how or why, im genuinely impressed)

as im sure you realize by now, each main section follows a similar structure: we cut out any previous progress and start fresh, building from silence but utilizing different textures each time.

but real talk - the second transition absolutely sells this feeling of ascension and a sense of imminent arrival. and you finally get there and you arrive with this section and its surprisingly intimate. its just you and the singer's voice as he whispers "hey, do you hear me?" (like a gd verizon commercial).

i almost shudder thinking about it bc the narrative up to this point made me feel as if i was watching someone else's madness journey helplessly, but with the opening of this section, it is almost as though - i too have lost my mind. i have been a part of this journey as much as he has and it's... whoof. that's the combined power of the lyrics and the cutting through the music with silence and it is extremely. effective.

(also remember what i said thousands of words ago about Bohemian Rhapsody? doesn't that "now, now, now" segment before the guitar shredding give you Bohemian Rhapsody vibes?)

in fact, this entire section is him begging us to stay him. the ghosts have become real to him but it also begs us to wonder... are we real? or are we ghosts? have we also gone mad?

"don't you hear me now? / if madness overtakes us both / then nobody would be alone / the ghost of us can linger here / forever not to disappear /stay / stay near / oh, stay / we could be together here / forever we're together bound in madness"

a majority of this piece is in a minor or dissonant key, but this section feels mostly major? positive? and those familiar brass flourishes in the background definitely help.

i lack the words to describe beyond that but this is just a wild and conflicting finale combined with the full climax of the song and that vocal work and the ending with the final brass flourish and im just -

wow. everytime. its just. wow.

...

~ thanks for sharing and thanks for reading ~

[foxybananaaaz]

I WANNA POINT OUT BEFORE POSTING I HAVENT HAD READ THE COMICS……. SORRY BUT I HAVE NOT HAD THE ABILITY TO ACTUALLY READ THEM.

I've just watched the new Hawkeye episode, and my friends haven't yet. I need to talk about it with someone but have no one to talk to.

This post contains SPOILERS for Episode Four of Hawkeye. This is your Only Warning.

ALSO DO NOT CLICK THE NOTES UNLESS YOU WANT SPOILERS.... I had to reblog to continue. So spoilers will be in the notes.

So below the Keep Reading button, is where you wanna be if you wanna see me nerd out.

You're here? In the spoiler area? Cool! Means you watched the episode, or don't care about getting spoiled.

Either way, I'm not taking blame for spoiling you.

JOKES JOKES!

I wouldn't give you the finger!

But now this is your final warning.

Okay okay. Anyway, I usually mainly only talk about ACOTAR and Elucien, and rarely stray away from it, but I need to talk about Hawkeye.

Okay, so like Kate Bishop, Hawkeye has always been my favourite of the six Avengers. Obviously not for the same reasons, because, well, I didn't have a giant metal looking alien coming towards me, and watch as Hawkeye himself stopped it and saved my life directly. Kate Bishop did.

No, I have always favoured Hawkeye because he's always been the underdog. He may not be superpowered, but he has a damn good and accurate shot.

He brought Natasha into Shield. He calmed Wanda down when she was panicking, and told her that he would understand if she was to scared to fight, but also told her he knew she was strong enough to fight if she chose to. He was the one who stayed back and found the young boy still on floating Sakovia, and was ready to risk his life before Pietro did, to get him to safety. Clint Barton felt so guilty that he tried his hardest to sacrifice himself on Vormir.

So many cant stand him. I love him. He's my favourite.

Me at Clint:

NOT Clint cause he does't know how to accept appreciation from fans:

More than likely Clint's reaction:

Now, that I'm done with the gushing of Hawkeye, it's onto the episode four from today.

HERE IS YOUR REALTIME FINAL LAST NO JOKING AROUND SPOILER WARNING

So, we start sketchy. Jack's got sword at Clint's neck. There's no way he doesn't know it's Clint. Clint is easily recognizable as an Avenger. Without hesitation. How Kate's own mum walked in, and within half a second, she asked why there was an Avenger in her house.

And this isn't just any Avenger. You would think the guy who is going to marry into a formed family, would learn that this is a guy that is soon-to-be step-daughter has idolized since 2012, when this guy directly saved her life.

As soon as Clint leaves, Kate's mum talks about it. So why would Jack hold the sword at Clint's neck. And why wouldn't Kate's mum find it at all suspicious, when she came in the room AFTER Kate came in?

Acting real suspicious Jack. Real suspicious there.

But he isn't the only one acting suspicious. Kate's mum does, when she leads Clint to the elevator out, she acts cincerned and motherly, and Clint gets it. But then she fucks up like "so you'll drop this case?" Instead of the normal thing a concerned parent might say like "so you'll keep Kate away?" This, Miss Kate's mum(I'm a fan of Marvel I swear. I just forgot her name, and I don't really wanna go find it?), was a fuck up. Cause Clint is a parent, and he knows the proper way to go about it.

He answers like "I can't do that. But I will make sure Kate isn't hurt or harmed, and stays completely safe." And then leaves. And then Kate's mum knows Clint's onto something and she's fucked up, and calls someone and then calls someone like "help, we're screwed I think."

Anyway, Kate doesn't wanna do Christmas with her mum and Jack and goes to do Christmas with Clint(honestly, Same), and goes to the hideout with Clint. They have fun, and cute Christmas planning time, and honestly, I love it. I love their dynamic.

And Jeremy Renner, you can step down as Hawkeye, but you better make some appearances in the MCU still, because the dynamic between Clint and Kate? The chemistry?

I believe the familial, bind between Clint and Kate more than Kate and her mum. More than Clint and his children. They're building this up so much, they need to have more between these two beyond this show. Please.

They have such a nice bonding moment. After seeing Clint try and keep his distance, it's nice to see him embrace the bonding moments in this episode. Really heartwarming.

He better fucking NOT is all I gotta say.

Now, Clint is telling Kate about when he met Natasha, and it's sad. It's sad and it's just, my heart okay. My heart hurts. And Kate learns the truth that Clint lost his family during the blip, and how he's actually Ronin, and just, all the pain. So much pain.

Before Kate goes to he'd, Clint tells her that he's thankful for what she did that night and it means a lot to him. And then he goes to sleep, and just pain. We see Ronin flashbacks. We see Natasha on Vormir. We see Clint and his daughter from before the blip. (The blip is a stupid name. Who decided on the Blip?)

I can't add more gifs so I need to continue in a reblog

Blahhh

Stupid

[inhum3n]

MaDD and my Sexuality

Disclaimer:  My account, while it is based in facts and knowledge that I have learned from different MaDD sources, is primarily autobiographical.  So please read the following passage as a hypothesis, or just me trying dissect a part of myself.  I repeat this post doesn’t reflect scientific research.  It is wholly based on my own introspections.

Awhile ago I made a post asking my fellow MaDDers if their MaDD tendencies caused them confusion on their sexuality.  It’s been awhile since that post and I’ve had time to reflect on my MaDD tendencies and my sexuality.  And here are my results.

Yeah so basically, I’m 84% sure I’m aroace, or in other words aromantic asexual.  I’ve had an inkling about my asexuality since I was about 15 when I stumbled across the word on some site on the internet.  Actually a friend of mine might have introduced it to me… Not exactly sure, either way I’m here.  

To give a quick little definition to those out there not familiar with aroace stuff: Asexual is an umbrella term for people who experience very limited to little sexual attraction. Asexuals can have libido, can have sex, can pursue relationships, can feel romantically, etc.  It’s all about the small or zero amt. of sexual attraction to another person.  Aromantics are people who don’t experience romantic attraction to other people. So an aroace is a person who experiences little to no romantic and sexual attraction to other people.  

*I might delve a little deeper into my aroace journey in a separate post or even make a whole other board about asexuality and aromance, but to keep things curt I’ll focus on the relationship between my ace-ness and sexuality*

I’ve had MaDD or immersive daydreaming for as long as I can remember, yet I havent’ had parames for that long.  For a long time it felt weird to incorporate myself directly into my daydreams.  They mainly consisted of self-made paras, face holders(people in the actual world), or fictional characters.  It wasn’t until around my teen years did I began to make parames.  Even then I rarely developed romantic/sexual relationships between my parames or paras. Usually it was more like the pre stages of a romantic relationship.  Like my parame would hug or hold hands with another para, but never kiss or beyond that. My paras could be more romantic with each other, but there was never really any sexual stuff.  I think at that age I had the awareness that my MaDD was a self made portrait of my life.  So aspects of it reflected my true desires, feelings, and thoughts.  So it made sense to me that I was most likely asexual(I was unaware of the romantic spectrum at this point or knew very little).

It started to get a little more complicated. I got more comfortable with more intense romantic plots for my parames, and more comfortable with romantic/sexual plots between paras. A part of me wonders if this is because I was slowly detaching from my religious background.  I definitely felt like thinking about sexual things was “bad” or a “sin” so I felt hesitant to include them in my daydreams.  And when I would I’d feel guilty and shameful about it. But as I left the faith so did my shame. It could’ve also been related to just growing older and learning more about sex, and thus feeling more comfortable about it.

I reached a point where I could use intensely romantic and sexual plots between not just my paras, but also my parames and paras. Interestingly I found this only worked with fictional and certain faceholder paras.  If one of my faceholders was a friend(I put a real life friend into my dadyreams) I could not explore an intensely romantic and/or sexual plot with them.  I could envision innocent things like hugging and handholding, but never kissing even less sex.  Oh my god... Sorry I just realized that that’s not necessarily true.  If the faceholder was a male friend than I couldn’t do stuff like that, but I’ve had female friend faceholders and my parames have kissed them…hmm. With the male faceholders it was always like the pre stages of a romantic relationship.  Like if you were to watch it as a movie, you would sense a romantic tension and assume they’d get together by the end.  Mine are like that except you never get the final end scene.  It’s always “A love that could’ve been but inevitably was to never be”. I guess what I’m saying is that I find it interesting that the paras that were faceholders/based off of actual people in my life were ones my parames could rarely engage in romantically and never engage in sexually.

Having said this, I also realize there’s a difference between real life romantic/sexual desires and romantic/sex fantasies.  That’s the argument I’ve heard other MaDDers make.  That sexual/romantic desires may not be properly reflected on your paracosms.

That leads me to my final thought.  Is my MaDD the reason for my sexuality?  I’ve talked about how I’ve wondered if the reason why I’m so calm and passive in the rea world is due to being more emotionally invested in these paracosms. Can that apply to sexual and romantic interests too?  Am I investing my romantic and sexual side into my paracosms so much so that I’m left with nothing in the real world.  I know I’ve never been sexually attracted to anyone, and of late I’ve been thinking that I’ve never felt romantically attracted to someone either.  It’s almost like I can take people I’m interested in/crushes incorporate them into my daydreams and the fulfill my romantic wishes there.  So then that satisfies me enough and I never pursue it in real life??

I don’t want this to be invalidating to asexuals.  Aces are valid, these are just my thoughts as MaDDer and aroace.  And there isn’t really a conclusion to this…because I still don’t know.

[goatpaste]

WC design/headcannon/ect masterlist- Part B

another chunk of all the headcanos/AU’s/design notes/warrior names for kits and leaders never given a canon one/ect for all the wario cats!

this one is for all the B named cats!

info under the cut

Badgerfang

badgerfang i think a lot of us have a big ol soft spot for, but ought i really care him and his family i think it needs more than jusT the badgerfang death like for real

one of the biggest reasons i wanna learn to animate is because i wanna make a badgerfang and flintfang amv! it would be sdkg more about flintfang because i think he’s a neat character who has a lot of potential for development 

like mAN you ever stop and think about not only was flintfang sad over badgerfangs death because it was sad, bUT also because badgerfang was his sisters kit AND to the thought of blackstar is flintfangs brother. flintfang had to deal with playing a hand in badgerfangs death then watch his brother loyally follow brokenstar, then tigerstar 🥺

Baypaw

baypaw was the first of his lil chunk of family i design, i didnt have a sorrelstripe design made yet so i ultimately decided to base his design on his grandpa Lionblaze. smaller fluffy lionblaze.

I know we should be coming up to baypaw getting their warrior name soon

i think a name like Baysong or Baygale

Beech Tail

the only thing i have  to say is dgjksh when i designed the ‘beech’ prefix designs it was late and i totally went ‘beech... the beach’ and noT beech the tree sdjkgh. so i designed beech tail like that of a penguin sdjkgh

Beechfur

beechfur , riverclan warrior under mistystar’s leadership

i imagine beechfur is be EXTREMely accident prone, from the first instant of getting sick and healed by leafpool all the way up till the end. He is in and out of the medicine cats den constantly. and through this formed a big ol crush on the pretty medicine cat apprentice Willowshine who has had to full on decline his feelings. he is not the only one who has had this treatment, many a riverclan cats have found themself charmed by willowshine

Beechpaw

Beechpaw, a apprentice of ancient skyclan who were forced to leave the forest territory.  i imagine beechpaw was of the few cats who did everything he could to keep the others in good spirit while they tried to find their home, which often came to the annoyance of all his distraught clanmates. he never stopped doing all he could to put a smile on their face until he died.

he was the last apprentice cloudstar named a warrior and only lived a few moons after becoming one.

warrior names i like for him are like Beechshed or Beechshine

Beenose

slight update to my beenose design because i want her to fit my newer darktail group clown aesthetic 

another design note is her and her siblings all are themed after a diff color of the rainbow, beenose is yellow. their mom snowbird has a pale rainbow pattern and each other her kits is a diff color of the rainbow

Beetlewhisker

Beetlewhisker is another one of my quiet favorites i have, and it is because of the error of him being alive for SO many books after he died.

like !!! bitch had a HUGE major death and went on to live for a long time aND be listed as a cats mentor (which i think that has been changed now)

i love the idea of in a way beetlewhisker WAS with the clans that long after his death. that due to his death was in a way locked in the dark forest, his soul stuck there. but because of the ways of the dark forest cat’s he was chased out, and unable to enter starclan having died in the dark forest, now cursed to live in limbo.

He walks to the grounds of riverclan watching over his clanmates while they rest hoping that no one else is to be preyed upon by the dark forest like he was ever again. 

theres ghost stories of riverclan cats seeing the shape of a cat shining brightly when hit by moonlight. a peaceful spirit of the past who protects them.

and in design 100% his design was made to look like that of a smeleton bones lol

Bellaleaf

the erin team will have to pry bellaleaf and firestar being siblings from my cold dead hands!!

you can’t say they look basically exactly alike and their not related i wont take it sdjkg. i DIE for the idea oh whore jake managing to have so many kids that get into the clans. like the over saturation of jake dna through the clans ruining them absolutely kills me sdjkg

i also imagine ravenpaw having like deja vu of firestar when he looks at bella, cats who knew firestar look at her and can’t help feel she reminds them of someone. 

Berryheart

another one of the designfor snowbirds kits, berryheart is the red themed sibling.

she also got a slight design change to be more clowny to fit her time in darktail’s group

Berrynose

i just love berrynose, i think hes very terrible and i love him a lot

i think the books are cowards and i think berrystar woulda been the fUNniest outcome oR like

imagine the powermove if berrynose lived and squirrelflight fucking made berrynose her deputy likE

also berrynose is a lil gay brat, he has a thick country accent and everyone find him weirdly charming. many hate him but cant help but find him alluring. 

he actually is a very good warrior, he stays on top of his task and brings in the prey. his biggest problem is his ego and his need to get in others faces all the time

i love when he’s paired with lionblaze because their stupid rivarly is so good i really wish it was more plot important and lasted longer i LIVE for best friend rivals lion and berry

buT i also love him with jayfeather for the simple dynamic of the one cat who would probably hate him more than anyone else but oops he’s in love to

or him and breezepelt because they could be lil shitheads togeather

Birchface

the biggest thing i can say about birchface is 100% birchface watched over mapleshade’s kits, doesnt let appledusk or his own family hurt them. He treats them like his own.

in AU’s where birchface lives i defiantly can see him having a HUGE crush on mapleshade and being much like thrushpelt was to bluefur. being as a surrogate dad for her kits and keeping the secret.

in my main AU with mapleshade dieing and getting a redemption its mostly the same except they become a sweet happy family together in starclan.

he’s a big goofy dad type and his father had hoped he would become leader one day, but worried that he was too lax with the code and not as driven to fight as others and began to think he would have to rely on frecklewish instead. then they both died and he ended up turning to his youngest son pinefur

Blade

this is just a one time ghost cat buT  i like the design i made for her.

im all here for dark forest cats having this black oozing mark from where they died, starclan gets being covered in stardust and maybe having from pretty plats or glow or other representative stuff on their death. but ghost cats are loUD with their mark of death. its a nagging weight they carry around based on their inability to move on to their respective afterlives. For blade its giant bright red tire marks that slowly circle around her body.

Blazefire

just a lil boy

i imagine he kinda constantly has crushes on cats from other clans which while some might tell him to hush when he shares his thoughts on the pretty cat from riverclan he gets some loving teasing from dovewing and antfur

Blazefire is also miss nearly all of his tail

Blizzardstar and Blizzardwing

not much here but to say 100% i designed blizzardwing in mind of being that of a grandson or great grandson to blizzardstar

Blossomfall

shrug idk a lot to say about her beyond, i know she’s a asshole character but i remember liking her, i think she’s mean but its kinda fun in a way

i think i also just have this soft spot for millies kits because their millie’s

also i just like my blossomfall design i think she’s v fun

Blossomkit

another shadowclan kit who died under brokenstar’s ruling.

i think as sad as it is, i can imagine blossomkit to be badgerfang’s sister, just another sad thing to think about for fernshade’s litter. the potential idea of all her kit’s dying because of brokenstar

a warrior name for her that would been cute woulda been like Blossomglaze or blossomsprout

Bluebellkit

bluebellkit sure disappeared from the books. she’s one of those kits that like, she already had a mouth full of a name and i wish i coulda seen what they woulda named her as a warrior

but she’s another one of snowbird’s rainbow themed kids, her ofc being the blue one.

i think a cute warrior name for her could been Bluebellwhistle or bluebellfoot

Blouder

i lobe boulder i think he is very under appreciated!! 

i think it be very fun to get a novella or something in this POV,,

he’s just hangin out back there yknow,,,

Bouncefire

(bit of an art change from here as i took a break between these two and switched programs)

idk a lot about actual bouncefire, i think the only books with any real characterization in it was ones i havent read

buT id really like to imagine growing up he saw his mentor patchfoot as a father figure and was ultimately the reason patchfoot and his mom got together. and bouncefire being absolutely ecstatic about it. thinking patchfoot is the coolest guy

bouncefire gets along good with his half siblings

gay cat and wanna be emo but just is kinda angy

Brackenfur

my biggest brackenfur AU is my medicat brackenfur which i have info of here

https://goatpaste.tumblr.com/post/631020627780911104/au-where-insteed-of-fireheart-picking-up

and

https://goatpaste.tumblr.com/post/632972589046890496/mmm-writing-out-like-big-plot-point-changes-in-my

the other thing vaguely mention in these but would probably be more prominent in his og story

but brackenfur is quietly the biggest mess in the family. Being on pare with confidence and energy as cinderpelt when they were young, after her accident somethin changed for him. he loved his sister but is a big distant. but its hardly noticeable between the two as they worked very separate jobs in the clan

then his other sister, brightpaw has her accident and brackenfur begins to question something

but when he his the last to leave in the thunderclan group to their new home he stops and looks back at his mother frostfur who is old and frail look, though she wasnt young the damage of the forest hit her hard. 

this when brackenfur decides starclan has it out for his family, especially the mollies. they were cursed he was sure.

moons later he is expecting his kits with sorreltail, letting his mind rest on the idea, the crazy notion that some greater force wanted the she-cats in his family dead. 

then the day his kits arrive cinderpelt dies to the badgers. he pushes down these feelings down again it was the time. But he couldn’t help but think that, if leafpool was there, if starclan had given them a sign of the badgers, anything. maybe cinderpelt might have lived. but he pushes it back down and tells himself it was a warriors death

and then his daughter, cinderpaw is struck by the tree and the stirring in his mind grows stronger. why has starclan done this to his family

then honeyfern gets bit by the snake. how could starclan be so cruel, their always so young.

then his sweet sorreltail fought strongly for her two young daughters future

and on his own, forced to watch seedpaw drown and lilypaw be haunted by what happened.

the women in brackenfurs family is cursed and he bears the burden of relizing it, of living and watching each of them suffer until the end

to the ones that lived and are happy still, with no burdens in their lives he watches happily making sure NOTHING bad comes their way. he would fight starclan themselves to make sure his family is safe and happy

Breezepelt

in design Breezepelt has a p average length tail. which for him is a huge disappointment. His father crowfeather has a long slender windclan tail, a trait that is held to high standards in his family. a trait passed all the way down from windstar herself who had the longest and most beautifully windy tail. 

Breezepelt has a angry spot about this because he feels lacking and especially disconnected to his father. BUT double this with jayfeather having only half windclan blood has a tail even longer than crowfeathers 

i also would NOT put breezepelt with heathertail, i dont see any reason for it. like first off this bitch gay, id love for him to have a boyfriend and it think it should be berrynose because one, their both terrible i think it be funny and i also think its funny to ship berrynose with lionblaze or jayfeather so im like, whats another brother (to be clear not shipped all together, this is separately) and two, the idea heathertail and poppyfrost lesbian could exist

then the big BIg thing is, i would take breezepelts character and gut what happened in crowfeathers trial out of both him and crowfeather

i talk about it a bit here, but i think ill re talk about it in full when i get to crowfeather https://goatpaste.tumblr.com/post/190544981670/breezepelt

Briarlight

miss briarlight i love you!!

very sweetgirl

i based her design off sakuras and bleed heart doves. idk what possessed me but when i went to design her i knEW she was gonna be pink she needed to be she deserved it

briarlight buff as shit in her forlegs she loves trying to rope leafpool and jayfeather into lil strength contest she always wins (sometimes she will let leafpool win on days she needs it) 

her and jayfeather are wlw/mlm best friends. jayfeather calls her pidge which started as a mean nickname that she simply loved and embraced fully

also in my AU with medicat lionblaze i can very much see briarlight and lionblaze being very sweet friends. like big strong lionblaze who is actually docile and compassionate about his work and briarlight loud and rooting him on

Brick

swear to god until i got back into warrior cats this year i had always thought brick was a lady and her and bone were suppous to be scourges like adoptive bad parents jkdg

anyways im still with that, she/her agender brick who adopts their terrible son scourge and is in a monogamous partnership with bone’s. strictly business defiantly not married, they just have a son together. 

Brindlewing

idk a ton about her, but from her wiki it dsjkgh doesnt look like theirs  alot

but i’d like to imagine she’s a very anxious girl and struggles in crowds especially around cat she doesn't know. she feels more comfortable when one of her sisters is with her or her grandmother nightcloud. Nightcloud has always been a source of self confidence for her and they love each very much.

Brindlewing also inherited crowfeather’s family long tail that skipped breezepelt. Brindlewing holds the tail in her mouth as a means of helping her anxiety.

Bristlefrost

a biG design overhaul for my bristlefrost design, i really didnt like the old design i made her. wanted her to be a lil darker colored and in general have a cuter design

i gave her diff color eyes to mark her double agent status one eye green like her fathers and the other sharing the same blue i use for ashfur’s eye color

i kept her with the one white paw which i give to any descendent of jake, just because canonically she is ivy and ferns kid.

but in my rewrite their not togeather. Fernsong was a kittypet or a loner who had lost their mate and home and was found by ivypool caring for his three kittens alone. this is more fernsong headcanon, but bristlefrost is there

bristle and all the kits love ivypool they look up to her big time and all wished she was their mentor when they became apprentices. 

bristlefrost often confides in her father when feeling guilty or unsure of herself and he is always there for her

Bristlekit

half brother to tallstar

i imagine woolytail’s family seems to have a high mortality rate with their kids with only one maybe two usually making it to adulthood. bristlekit would die before becoming an apprentice and spent time in starclan with finchkit and later rabbitkit waiting for wrenflight and tallstar.

if bristlekit made it to being a warrior id like to think he was named Bristlefeather or Bristlefoot

Brook where small fish swim

teeny update to my brook design to give her small white fish dots matching her brothers spots

her general design is mean to be loosely based on a mountain lion. 

she got strong powerful mountain climbing body

i also wish her romance was better developed and wasnt like based in a lot of white savior romance plots given to native and native coded characters

in general the tribe really shoulda just been written better

Brownpaw

brownpaw, brother to littlecloud killed mosspaw as a kit on accident and was apprenticed for it by brokenstar

i imagine him and his brother wetfoot killing mosspaw effect them both deeply. for wetfoot it shook him to the core and made his doubt his own claws

for brownpaw it set him down the path of destruction. brokenstar rewarding him for what happened with mosspaw was the biggest enabler

brownpaw would go on to be a blood thirsty apprentice who would throw his young life away under brokenstars order of attack.

had he been made a warrior i think brokenstar woulda named him Brownmoss claiming he had earned the name when he took it from mosspaw.

Bug

design for bug because i think the book she was in didnt exist when i originally started drawing every warrior cat

love her!

bumblestripe

bumblestripe’s character makes me sad

im SUCH a millie stan and for one of her kids to be disabled then treated like garbage to the end of her life and written super ablest and then her other two kids are total shit heads? makes me sad

i wish at lEAST millie and graystripe had a second little, maybe just one total sweetheart

and its been forever since i read the books. but i remember bumblestripe being a real nobody characters just very generic personality until romance plot for dovewing came into play. and now he super sucks!

i wish he coulda just been a good character who loved dovewing, is sad and kinda jealous of her feelings for tigerheart but in the end respects her decisions and even admires her courage to follow her heart even if it led her over the borders.

Buster/Rippletail

slight buster redesign to fit more in the circus clown look from when he was in the kin

also design note, he’s got an orange themed design to go along with his rainbow themed siblings

Buzzardkit

windclan kit who showed up once in the sight crying and being comforted by a queen

mm i think some good warrior names for them woulda been like

buzzardface, Buzzardshriek or buzzardwhistle

[eskewcity]

can i ask why you're not really enjoying s5? i havent listened to most of it so i just kinda want to know what others think. if you dont wanna answer though thats totally fine i know you might not be comfortable going into detail abt why u dont love smth that lots of other people might! either way hope u have a great night :) its been fun getting hades updates from u

Nah don’t worry about it! I’ll leave this under the cut for those that enjoy this season and don’t want to read crit

but honestly this season has just felt very slow for me where 3/4 of it was just j&m traversing through the fearscape since I thought it would have had more action at least? things seemed to have picked up a little more now but there’s only 6 episodes left so the whole concept of going through a domain of an entity started to become really repetitive after a while. I understand that they run on 40 episode seasons but they really would have benefited from either 1. Cutting down on the amount of episodes this season or 2. Shortening the amount of time where j&m are traversing by themselves for the sake of brevity and to get to actual plot, ie taking down Jonah. Also because of this, I just feel like they are going to have to wrap up a lot of things that have yet to be answered for very quickly and honestly I don’t even know at this point if they will...

I also saw someone (sorry I can’t remember who this was) that made the point, that for them, the more that they learned about the entities itself, the less scary they began and in a way they lost their effectiveness which is how I feel. The statements themselves just feel different since Jon is reading them in the present as the person is being subjected to a domain as opposed to reading a statement from the past. It doesn’t seem like it would be much but for me personally, I feel there was injection of more personality of who the subject giver was when it was the traditionally manner of having them speak/write at the institute as opposed to Jon simply speaking about what is happening to them in that moment. I’ve also just not heard any memorable statements itself beyond like Martin’s time in the lonely domain which I thought was really well done. I think it’s also just a matter of opinion in some parts because stylistically I loved how season 1 was formatted because of the fact it was one shot stories that didn’t feel like they necessarily have to fit into one large narrative but could be read as independent short horror stories.

I hope that helps kinda illustrate at least my opinion of it but if you ever feel like listening to the season dont let me stop you! I hope you have a good night as well and thank you for saying you like my hades updates, there will probably be more <3

[bloopbyoop]

weep woop

ayo. ive read my scheduled email and its time for freewriting shit again. lmao. I want this post to be like a small light from a lit match stick inside a very hollow, icy, and numbing cave. (sounds cartoonish right? I know. Im obsessed with Adventure Time.) I want all people to be genuinely happy.  Spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Upon reaching my 24th anniversary in this world, I finally learned how to truly embrace all my emotions. Some are more overwhelming than the other, but we have to heed in our treacherous yet perplexing minds that everything is fleeting and we are in control. The feeling of extreme sadness fades, but so does joyful states. Everything can change in a matter of minutes or years. You are in control of all your emotions. You are in control of all your life choices. Your actions. Your words. Your perspective. It feels weird to actually write about it. I've wanted to talk about it. I never wanted help from anyone as I firmly believed that I was alone. Sure, I have a family and friends, but it is hard to see that when your head is clouded with negativity. I've even come to the point where I was too overwhelmed, I found being physically hurt less painful. The pain I felt distracted me from what I was thinking. My mind tended to go bonkers. lmao. But bro, I was so good at concealing my bonkers mind. It's easy to fake any emotion that you have. Slap anything sunshine-y or happy to anything and people would believe you. It went on for years. Long story short, thousands of bracelets collected, it became worse. The physical pain could no longer withhold the emotional pain. Couldn't sleep. Couldn't stop thinking. And voila! I found a good amount of self help books (from tumblr) and novels. Novels that brought me to different places. Self-help books that made me understand what I feel and what to do. I've read that taking the easy way out will leave everyone sad. AND IN THE FIRST PLACEEEEEE, I NEVER WANT THATTTTTTT. I want everyone to be happy. I would act foolish and do dumb shit to make everyone happy in a heartbeat. So, that idea made me push a few more years. Later on, the crippling shit came crawling back again to my head, sooooooo I needed new shit to keep me distracted again. Films, series, music, and short clips from YouTube helped me out a lot. Every single time that my mind is going to think like anything that can think of, even to the point that I was just going to think that I might be hungry, I'd watch something. There's just something about silence for me. Because of this new habit of mine, I've learned more about myself. I love different types of things. I like horror. I like thriller. I like comedy. I like romance. I love all types of films, but there is something about the horror genre that interests me. I still can't point out what, but I love watching horror films. With regards to music, I've learned that I love Indie, Punk Rock, Rap, and Pop. We all can't like a specific genre. It's stupid to ask "what genre of music do you like?". It's not actually stupid-stupid, it's just stupid. Ya know? Anyway, passing this phase, I needed to find something again because it's not doing the shit that it was supposed to, I tried investing more time on video games. By investing more, I mean a whole shit lot. I love video games since I was young cuz.... u know.... they keep u... try to guess it! oh yeah. you got that right! distracted! I love the aggressive plays and trashtalks that my friends and I make. The short stories we tell one another. The rants. The lame jokes. The late night we sound drunk but we are not drunk jokes. The roleplays. The lame jokes. The memes. And once again, The lame jokes. Something about lame jokes and the laughs and curses after that always gets me every single time. Oh shoot. Yup Yup. Few years later, I finally noticed the pattern that my sadness is temporary. I got over it one way or the other (or another. depends on how you wanna read it. i dont wanna say another cause i might write about one direction like what im doing now so-). Happiness is temporary as well. But, we are the ones who are actually in control of our emotions. If you wanna feel sad, be sad for a while. You're getting too sad? Try hanging out with your funny friends. Can't do that? Find an alternative. Watch a movie, knit a sweater. Anything your mind could think of as long as it will keep you mentally distracted from being physically and mentally hurt. I do have a few notes though. We cannot and should never assume what people are going through. It may be petty for you, but it may be very crucial to them. So never everrrr say things like: -Some people have it worse than you -At least you have ..... These sheetsss are annoying as heckkk and could really down someone. I know it is not your intention to annoy but people react differently. alsooooooo, it is not okay or normal to hate on things for bandwagon. that is just plainly crazy and stupid. let people enjoy things. anddddddd never suppress your emotions. admit what you feel inside and try to think of a way to resolve ittttt. keeping it to yourself will just make it worseeeeee. find your own outlettttttttt. hihihi ️ alsooooo. being more spiritually full with God's words and ideas really help me to be spiritually happy. ps. im christian but i dont discredit other religion and even applaud other religion's ideas and beliefs. this is a really long, selfish post so i might as well recommend some things I like : Songs with their lyrics that made me go through life. “I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier” -All These Things That I've Done, The Killers “It's not too late, I'm still right here” -Breaking Your Own Heart, Kelly Clarkson "And the salt in my wounds / Isn't burning any more than it used to / It's not that I don't feel the pain / It's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore / And the blood in these veins / Isn't pumping any less than it ever has / And that's the hope I have / The only thing I know that's keeping me alive" -Last Hope, Paramore “There is not a single word in the whole world / That could describe the hurt / The dullest knife just sawing back and forth / And ripping through the softest skin there ever was / How were you to know?” -Hate to See Your Heartbreak, Paramore "It's holding on, though the road's long / And seeing light in the darkest things And when you stare at your reflection / Finally knowing who it is / I know that you'll thank God you did" -1800, Logic "Did some things you can't speak of / But at night you live it all again / You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now / If only you had seen what you know now then" -Innocent, Taylor Swift (My bb) "10 months sober, I must admit / Just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it / 10 months older, I won't give in / Now that I'm clean I'm never gonna risk it // Rain came pouring down when I was drowning / That's when I could finally breathe / And by morning gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean" -Clean, Taylor Swift “I guess I always knew / That I had all the strength to make it through.” -Believe in Me, Demi Lovato "I'm addicted to the madness / I'm a daughter of the sadness / I've been here too many times before / Been abandoned and I'm scared now / I can't handle another fallout / I am fragile, just washed upon the shore / They forget me, don't see me / When they love me, they leave me" -I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me, Demi Lovato “I'm overwhelmed / I need a voice to echo / I need a light to take me home / I need a star to follow / I don't know” -Nightingale, Demi Lovato "I'm a walking travesty / But I'm smiling at everything. // Arrogant boy, Love yourself so no one has to." -Therapy, All Time Low "I tried it once before but I didn't get too far / I felt a lot of pain but it didn't stop my heart. / But maybe I'm alive 'cause I didn't really wanna die / But nothing very special ever happens in my life / Take the blade away from me I am a freak, I am afraid that / All the blood escaping me won't end the pain / And I'll be haunting all the lives that cared for me / I died to be the white ghost / Of the man that I was meant to be" -Ghost, Badflower "Are the pieces of you / In the pieces of me? / I'm just so scared / You're who I'll be / When I erupt / Just like you do / They look at me / Like I look at you" -DNA, Lia Marie Johnson Movies and series to try : -The Perks of Being a Wallflower (The book is bomb af. if yall havent tried, ur missing out) -The Kings of Summer -Never Let Me Go -The Art of Getting By -Silver Linings Playbook -Winter’s Bone -The Lovely Bones (The script. The words) -Me and Earl and the Dying Girl -American Horror Story -Black Swan

pps. remember that every one has their own pace and point of view. don’t push yourself too hard, and don’t overthink. give yourself time, and respect all your emotions. analyze them but not more than like 5 minutes as anything beyond that might cause you to overthink and be sadder. and sad is not rad. hehe. you got this. you got you. self love is the best even though it can be tricky to do. nobody else is like you. you’re the only one of you (i just remembered me.......... i might have hummed it while typing it mid sentence). consider other people’s opinion but do not let it cloud your own judgement as you know yourself best. dont let other comment’s define you. spread love. vibe people you vibe with. ayeeee lets go!!! 

ppps this is my last post bc im happier now and know myself better. i no longer limit myself on the age that I want. I want to live as long as how God wants me to be. hehe. 

x :D