#i hope i'm not forgetting a step lol
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yogs21134 · 1 year ago
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kind stranger on the internet, if u have the time and it is no inconvenience, a tutorial on how to make the yog world work would be amazing and immensely appreciated T^T
absolutely no problem! i'm here to serve :) i'm gonna explain this with the assumption you have no idea what you're doing, just so it's thorough.
so, first thing's first, go to the ATLauncher downloads page choose one of the options that's under your operating system (windows, mac, linux) then run the program it gives you. (if it's a setup version, you'll have some stuff to click through but that's pretty easy)
once you've got ATLauncher up and running, you'll want to log in with your minecraft/microsoft account (unsure if it makes you do that at first startup anymore but if it doesn't, it'll be in the Accounts tab) then head over to the Packs tab on the right
go to the search bar and look for Yogscast Complete Pack, it'll be the one with the blue and orange icon, then hit New Instance and Install. it'll come up with a bunch of optional mods, but i personally just select everything except the minimaps and morph
once that's done installing (it might take a while) go over to the Instances tab, and it'll be there. you'll want to mess with it a little bit before opening it, though. there's be a bunch of buttons under the description and that's we're gonna be
you'll definitely want to give it more memory/ram by going to Settings > Java/Minecraft and messing with the very first option. the number you'll want to set it to depends on how beefy your computer is, so make sure you know how much ram it has
after that you'll want to hit Edit Mods and disable Flatsigns, Obsidiplates, and Switches, as the launcher doesn't like to allow them to run anymore
if everything goes right, you'll be ready to import the world save. go to the download link in my (currently) pinned post, save that wherever, and since it's a rar file you may need to have 7zip or winrar to open it but i'm unsure. i personally use 7zip
go back to the ATLauncher and hit Open Folder, that'll open your instance in your file explorer. open the saves folder (or make one if you don't have one yet, 'saves' all lowercase) and extract your world(1).rar into there. you should be left with a folder simply called "world"
go ahead and run the pack and see if everything works! i have noticed a few other errors that come up, so:
if it's giving you an error along the lines of "two dimensions have the same id," try heading to the config folder (same directory as the saves) and find TwilightForest, open that and scroll down until you see # dimension, then change the number from 7 to 250 (or whatever else works)
if it's giving you an error along the lines of "can't connect to [whatever ip/url]" try editing the config of OpenBlocks and removing all radio stations
if it's something else entirely, try re-running/brute forcing it a couple times then come back and i'll see if i can figure it out i hope this helps you and anyone else that happens to need it!! don't hesitate to ask for clarification on anything :)
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iam-anordinary-human-orami · 6 months ago
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I really want a scene like this in tsc2 where Neil seems to call Jean more often to check up on him and the floozies are perplexed "Why is Josten calling you?" "You guys close or sth?" "You still haven't told us what happened when he whisked you away" "we are worried sick Jean, how can you keep us in the dark?" And then Cat will say sth like "are you not sharing what you're talking to Josten about cause you're embarrassed?" Jeremy being a worried mother hen "is he bothering you?" And Jean keeps shutting everything down telling them not to worry, and then Laila as a joke says "is he flirting with you?"
And Jean responds with "I hope not. I don't think his boyfriend would take it well"
Everyone immediately stops what they are doing. "Im sorry, his WHAT?"
All hell breaks lose. Cat is shaking Laila "Josten is FRUITY?!", Jeremy is like "He has a boyfriend?" Laila being like "in the year that he joined the foxes and almost died in the hands of his serial killer dad, he got a boyfriend??? How???" And then Cat and Laila start asking questions, Jeremy trying to calm them down but also being curious, Jean is like "Well he's not told me explicitly, but it's obvious."
Jeremy having an epiphany "oh my god. Is it Kevin?" Cat in the background "oh please let it be Kevin" Jean says no, "Kevin is too much of a coward", the floozies are looking at each other like "oh we are definitely unpacking THAT at some point". And then they're like okay, well maybe the boyfriend is not on the team. But Jean confirms, it's a fox, i can tell u who it is-' "NO! We need to figure this one out!" "Let our gaydar do the work Jean we got things to prove!" Jean tiredly: "to who?"
So they start guessing, oh Hemmick is undeniably fruity, Jean is like "I don't even know who that is. Oh, backliner? No, not him". "Maybe it's Boyd?!" Cat being like "Escandalo! Cause he's with the captain right? Wilds?" Laila commenting "He'd be out of his mind to pass on that, and this is the educated opinion of a lesbian", Jean is like "how come u guys know all their names?" Jeremy says "they are a small team and it's hard not to keep tabs on them when they are in the news cycle every week or so"
"Guys we're losing track, keep your heads locked in! Who could be Josten's boyfriend, that tonight's pressing question!" "But there's no one else... wait, is he with the other backliner? Short blonde?" "I'm gonna be honest, I don't get queer vibes from him" "Lol can u imagine it's actually the goalkeeper twin" "what the one that went to juvie and looks like hes one step away from biting our heads off on the court? Nahh". Jean looks at an invisible camera like he's in the office.
And then something happens and they forget about it, until like the winter banquet or some shit and Cat is intently looking at Neil trying to decipher who his boyfriend could be, maybe he is in a throuple with Wilds and Boyd? Jean is like "Why are you looking at the foxes' table so intently?" "It's investigative work, don't worry about it" and then Neil comes over and takes Jean away at the open bar to talk about sth, the floozies are pretending to not be looking at them. Neil notices and he's like "I see they taken claim already." Jean responds with "It's not what u think" and they talk, Andrew probably gets bored at some point and goes to Neil, puts a single hand on his lower back and Jean being able to hear commotion in the Trojans table turns to see them acting like "normal", except their poses look rehearsed, there's drinks that have been spilled on the table and Cat is drinking from an empty glass looking at the sky.
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gracieheartspedro · 8 months ago
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For Cryin’ Out Loud
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pairing: post-outbreak! joel miller x fem!reader
how to help the palestinians and what it means to write for the last of us characters
word count: 7.9k
description: living with joel is complicated, especially when you can’t sleep due to nightmares. when you find yourself in his bed, you can’t help yourself. but joel sure can. give him a day to mull it over.
warnings: pretty slow burn, kinda forced proximity, kinda angsty, unspecified age gap (don’t like it, don’t read it), joel gives you tons of nicknames (darlin’, kiddo, etc.), discussions of nightmares and possible mental illnesses, some fluff, reader isn’t really described, joel is kinda a gaslighter, he’s also a bit pervy, unprotected p in v (wrap it y’all), oral (f! receiving), dirty talk, joel like worships you!!!!!, joel licks his fingers clean, giving genitalia pronouns, joel’s a big boy. think that’s it. lemme know what I missed!
author’s note: I really enjoyed writing this. the idea is pretty simple but I love domestic jackson!joel. I promise i’ll try to switch it up soon and write something that isn’t jackson!era lol. support your fav fics by reblogging and commenting!! thanks love ya <3
For some reason, you always find yourself standing at the threshold of the front door when you cannot sleep. 
The air was especially brisk tonight. You wrapped yourself in a gray chunky sweater you found in the lost and found in Jackson’s thrift store, hoping to regain some warmth. Your bed may have been comfortable, but it was the place where nightmares usually plagued you. 
It was too late to be awake, and you knew that if you were caught, you would hear it from Joel. He always reprimanded you. Every time he caught you up late, it was like your father woke up and found your hand in the cookie jar. 
The dynamic between you two had changed since arriving in Jackson, and you almost resented him for it. When it was just you, him, and Ellie, you were managing a family unit. Joel was always the protective father, you being the mom or the voice of reason, and Ellie being chaos. 
When Ellie and Joel’s relationship shifted, he took on a fatherly role for you. It bothered you. A lot. 
In a moment of contemplation, you hear footsteps coming down the steps behind you. 
He’s wearing flannel pajama pants and no shirt, his hairy tummy something you did not see often. 
“What are you doing awake?” He questions, his voice groggy with a twinge of annoyance. 
You do not feel like explaining yourself, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to get out of this situation without a justification. 
You huff, leaning your back against the door frame so you can get a full look at the broad man. “Can’t sleep. Thought staring into the darkness would help.”
He grunts, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “How’s that workin’ for you, sweetheart?”
You could not close your eyes without the haunting dreams that seemed lively and so real. Every night, you had the same recurring ones. You were being chased, hunted, or murdered. Or all of the above. You would wake in a cold sweat, not wanting to shut your eyelids ever again. 
“Hm,” You say, staring back outside for a brief moment, “‘Was better when you weren’t looking over my shoulder.”
He chuckles, “Get back to bed.”
“I can’t, Joel.”
“You can and will. You’re no good when you’re tired.”
“If I close my eyes, Joel, I will just have the same goddamn nightmares I have every night. And I will end up doing what I’m doing now, which is trying to get some fresh air to forget them.”
“You’re not gonna forget ‘em with some fresh air. You just need to… get over them.”
The breeze picks up as soon as he says it, almost like the world knew the tension would have to be broken with some frigid air. You retort with, “And how do you get over yours?”
"I just accept them," he says, a hint of defensiveness in his tone. "I don't have time to dwell on them. There's always more important things to worry about."
"I'm more tired in the morning when I just endure them." You explain, trying not to cry about it. But you are so sick of them. The same thing every night.
“I get it. One day they will subside, I’m sure of it. But for now, you gotta-”
You just want him to shut up. At the same time, your mind is trying to remember the last time you did not have a nightmare. The memory makes your stomach churn. “You remember that one time we were forced to share that sleeping bag? Back in Pittsburgh?”
“Yeah,” His tone was wary, “What about it?”
"That was the first night I didn't have it." You explain, your voice a bit shaking at the insinuation. You don’t want to face the fact that Joel, the man that you have known for going on 10 years, kept your nightmares at bay. The same man who continuously rejected you and told you that he was old enough to be your dad. The same man that told you no, I don’t like you like that. I never will. That Joel. 
“And? Why are you bringing this up now?”
"Because every night I go to my bed and I'm forced to face them alone. When you were there... they didn't even bother holding my mind hostage.”
He took another step closer, closing some of the distance between you two. He towers over you and you can’t help but stare up at him in awe. Joel has always been a complicated part of your life. You consider him your sexual awakening, honestly, but he will never ever know that. Over the years, he’s only gotten more handsome. 
But now, he has a curious expression written all over his face.
"Are you saying you want to share a bed with me?" he asks, his voice gruff and low.
You suck in a deep breath, not wanting to answer. You knew that was stepping over a boundary for Joel. He liked his space. He didn’t like you impeding on that space, especially. Your bedroom was the furthest away from his for a reason.
"I don't know." You manage to say.
Joel's gaze darkened, his expression was completely unreadable. You wish you could read his mind, but you should be grateful you can not. 
Because in Joel’s mind, he’s trying to formulate a way to convince you to stay away from him altogether. The wall he has built over the last decade was intentional. He did not want to hurt you any further. He already knew you had feelings for him, but he was an old man. He did not want to drag you into his mess, all the baggage he carried. He looked after you, he shared a home with you, and that’s it. Strictly platonic. 
He shifted on his feet a little, unable to tear his eyes away from you. You shook like a little leaf.
"You don't know?" he repeated, his voice a low rumble.
You nod, "I don't know if I want that."
You do want that. But you want more, too. You knew you would be playing with fire. You would just be disappointed. 
Joel’s temptations are buried deep but they still fester every now and again. Some days he would catch a glance at you getting dressed in the crack of your door and have to take a cold shower. As soon as he felt those emotions bubble in his chest, he would try to distract himself. Maybe he would take a longer patrol. Maybe he would go to the Tipsy Bison and try to find a woman to take home. That one never really worked. 
“Well, what do you want then? Because standin’ at the door and letting all the cold air in ain’t gonna work for me or you.”
You look down at your picked-over fingernails and contemplate your next sentence. You don't want to be heartbroken in the morning when you wake up and he's there sleeping peacefully next to you and you're not... his.
"I want to sleep with you."
Joel was not expecting such a blunt response from you, but he appreciated you not beating around the bush about it. He gestures for you to step out of the doorway so he can shut the door, which you do. 
He looked down at you, his eyes raking over your face, taking in the exhaustion and uncertainty. 
"You sure?" he asked, his voice a gruff whisper.
You just nod as he locks the front door. You couldn’t believe you were doing this. 
Joel couldn’t believe it either. Maybe it was the tiredness or the instincts he felt to protect you, but he was not mad at the idea of sharing his bed with you. 
You signal for him to go upstairs, “You lead the way.”
-
Joel’s room was always off-limits to you. So when you step into his small little world, you take it all in. 
The artwork around the room was mainly nature landscapes. He had a big dresser right at the room's entrance with picture frames of Sarah, Ellie, and other family members. You were even included in one photo—a picture of you and him on some horses from last year. 
A shirt littered one side of the bed, so you took that as it was probably his side. Unfortunately for you, it was the right side. You felt a pang of guilt realizing you would probably end up restlessly lying in Joel’s bed if you were stuck on the left. 
Before he can pull back the blanket for himself, you stop him. 
“Uh, can I sleep on that side?”
He completely halts in his motions, turning his head towards you with a blank expression. “My side? Why?”
You lick your lips, already regretting this whole thing. 
“Because I have had this superstition since I was a kid that I could only sleep on the right side of the bed."
Joel wants to laugh, but he doesn’t. He can tell you are at war in your head about the question, your expression practically anticipating his rejection. 
"Superstitions, huh?" he said, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips."You and your weird beliefs."
You watch as he crosses to the other side of the bed and lifts the blanket. Is he actually letting you have his side? Maybe he doesn’t hate you. 
“You could also call it a compulsion, but superstitions seem more fun and less like a mental illness.”
He laughs this time, his deep chuckle making you feel a bit more relaxed about the situation. You did not feel like a burden as much. You walk to the right side and pull back his navy blue sheets and blanket. The spot looks warm and inviting so when you crawl in next to Joel, you start to realize that you’re back in the same situation you were in years ago in that sleeping bag. He was so close and warm and you wanted nothing more but for him to hold you and keep you comfortable.
But then another thing came to mind before you could imagine his arms around you. 
You usually sleep on your right side or back, but now you don't know what to do because you didn't know how Joel slept.
"Do you sleep on your side or back?"
Joel studies you as you fidget beside him, your uncertainty causing him to smirk slightly. It was almost endearing, seeing you be completely out of control of your surroundings. He remembers back when you were traveling with him you had an obsessive need to straighten up everything before you fell asleep. You had to roll yourself up in your sleeping bag the same way every night. 
"Usually on my back," he said finally. "But I can sleep on my side, too."
You swallow, trying to picture yourself sleeping. For some reason you felt the urge to have control of the situation, dictating exactly how he has to sleep, too. "Can I... I'll sleep on my side if you can sleep on your back? Is that okay?"
Joel had to suppress a smirk at your request. You knew he was trying to hold back a snarky remark. Instead, he surprises you.
"Sure, you can sleep on your side," he agreed, shifting his body weight onto his back, "’n I'll sleep on my back. No big deal."
You turn to face him, tucking the pillow further under your head. You can tell his eyes are heavy from exhaustion. You know it's time to shut up, to go to sleep, but you feel the need to say something else to him. Sometimes your brain concocts questions and statements and you know you shouldn’t say them, but your mouth betrays you.  
"When was the last time you had a girl in your bed?"
Why the fuck would you ask that? You think to yourself. It fell out of your mouth like drool.
Joel's eyes widened at your blunt question, surprise and a hint of embarrassment coloring his expression. You knew he was probably just expecting you to lay here next to him, maybe roll around a bit, then sleep. But instead, it’s an interrogation.
He took a deep breath, his mind rattling around as he tried to think of a response. He didn't want to admit what his genuine answer was to you, but he too could not help himself.
"Why do you want to know that?" he asks, his voice steely.
You hate that he even responded because now you needed to defend yourself.
"I uh, don't know. I don't know why it matters."
Joel chuckled softly, noting that you probably just had a case of word vomit. You always told him you were infamous for putting your foot in your mouth, especially in awkward situations.
"Curiosity got the better of you, huh?" he asks, rubbing his face with his hands. “You just can’t help yourself, sweetheart.”
He shifted slightly, rolling onto his side to face you, his gaze studying your expression.
You smirk, grateful that he's letting it slide. When he turns onto his side and he's at eye level with you, your face drops a bit. He is ruining the vision in your head. He’s throwing a wrench in your plans.
"You're supposed to be on your back, sir."
Joel couldn't help but chuckle softly at your comment. He knew he was supposed to be on his back, but the new angle allowed him to see you better in the faint moonlight.
"Don't worry," he said, a hint of humor in his voice. "I'll turn back over in a minute. Just... enjoying the view for a bit."
You roll your eyes, lifting your hands from under the covers and lightly hitting his arm. You knew he was just fucking with you now. 
"Okay, for that, I want to know the answer to my stupid question."
Joel let out a low laugh, the sound rumbling deep in his chest. He shook his head, amused by your persistence. You start to think about it and you have never really seen him bring anyone home. Maybe it had been a very long time and he was embarrassed. 
"Alright, alright," he said, a hint of resignation in his voice. "Last time I had a girl in my bed..."
He paused for a moment, his eyes dropping to the covers, his mind racing to find the right words.
"Go on..."
Joel took another deep breath, his voice dropping even lower as he spoke.
"It's been a long time, kiddo," he admitted, his voice pierced with a bit of shame. "Almost ten years, if I'm being honest."
Your eyes widen in surprise. "No way... You've never just... got it on with someone in bed?"
Joel's face flushed with embarrassment at your blunt question, a mix of shock and slight irritation flashing across his eyes.
"Jesus, you really don't hold back, do ya?" he muttered. He shifts a bit, trying to get comfortable in a different way. He hadn't expected the conversation to turn so personal, so quickly and he did not want to face you anymore. He was mortified. 
You mentally slap yourself in the face.
"I'm sorry, I am just tired and delusional. Uh, you don't have to answer that."
Joel could practically feel the humiliation radiating off you and he too felt the exact same way. You knew how to add to an already awkward situation.
"No, no, it's fine," he reassured you, his voice a bit gentler now. "I get it. You're tired, and your filter has taken a backseat."
"Yeah, exactly..."
He shifted on the bed, turning onto his back again, his gaze shifting to the ceiling, avoiding your curious stare.
You could not help but stare at his side profile. A prominent straight nose. His downturned lips are surrounded by some fine lines that show his age. He was a beautiful man now, but you can’t help but imagine him back in his 20s. He had to have been a hit with the ladies back then.
Joel could feel your gaze on him, studying his face. And while you were not scrutinizing him, he felt like a commodity in a museum or something.  He forced himself to keep his gaze on the ceiling, refusing to meet your eyes.
"So… ten years and no sex?”
You could seriously, not help yourself.
"Correct.” He grumbles, still not meeting your stare.
"Damn, Joel." You mutter, adjusting a bit to sit up a little more on your pillow. "I seriously thought you were sleeping around the whole time we have been in Jackson.”
He finally turns your way, a bit of offense on his face. “Why would you think that?”
You shrug, not wanting to insult him. But that’s how you formulated your grudge towards him. It was easy to just chalk everything up to problems with random women you have seen around town. 
“You just give off the energy…”
“What?”
You huff, laying back on the pillow. “I don’t know, Joel! I feel like when I’m around you all the ladies think you’re handsome. They stare.”
“They are staring because you’re always following me around and we aren’t married or… together. They think we are odd.” 
You had never heard such things around Jackson, but it does sort of make sense. Everyone was probably just confused because you two lived together but were not a couple. You can admit it is bizarre, but it just did not feel like an option any other way, in your mind. So Tommy gave you two a bigger house and you set up separate rooms. 
But in actuality, Joel secretly told Tommy that he did not want you too far from him. So when Tommy couldn’t give you any other houses nearby, Joel just told him that you two would be roommates.
“Well fuck ‘em.” You mutter, trying not to sound too offended by the thought of people gossiping about you two.
Joel just nods. You settle by tucking your arm under your pillow. You yawn, the exhaustion now taking over your body. You watch Joel grab a pair of reading glasses from the side table and a book. You decide not to bother him, especially because he probably wanted to just read himself to sleep instead of being interrogated by you any further.
You close your eyes and eventually fall asleep. The deeper you get, Joel notices how your breathing pattern changes. When he’s finally ready to get some shut-eye as well, he watches as your body crawls closer to him. Your arm swings over his stomach and rests on his forearm. He is so shocked he does not move a muscle. 
You adjust some more, not knowing what you are doing. Your leg creeps up and tucks right between his. You snuggle your face right into his chest. The only movement Joel decides to make is slinging his arm over your shoulders to pull you in tighter. 
It’s the first time in years that you two slept soundly, with no interruptions. No nightmares, no sudden intrusions, nothing. Silence and snores fill the room and that’s it.
-
When you wake up, it’s slow and gradual. Your brain hardly computes that you’re laying on top of Joel’s shirtless frame, until your hand runs across his warm tummy. 
You crook your neck up, looking at the handsome man you are spreading across. 
His lips are slightly ajar, letting out hardly-there snores. They are so pretty and pink and you cannot help but touch them with feather-like fingertips. You would feel so guilty waking him up-
His eyes slowly open taking notice of your actions even though you tried not to stir him. Your eyes fly open in shock, but he does not seem very annoyed. He smiles. 
“Mornin’ darlin’,” He says in a deep sleep-laced voice. You smile back at him, loving that he decided to call you the nickname you always got giddy over. You press your fingers into his chest before replying.
“I didn’t have a nightmare.”
His hand comes up from your shoulders and tucks some hair behind your ear as he stares down at you, “That’s good kiddo. I’m glad you slept well.”
The intimacy is almost too much. The way this is how it would be if you woke up to Joel every morning. It sends your brain into overdrive and you force yourself to ruin it a bit.
“Woulda slept even better if you didn’t talk so much in your sleep.”
Joel froze for a moment, his cheeks immediately flushing pink with embarrassment. He sits up a bit more, adjusting to the brighter lighting in his room. He knew he had a problem with talking in his sleep. Ellie used to talk about it all the time. He dreaded hearing what he was saying while curled up next to you.
"Uh... what did I say?" he asked, trying to maintain his composure.
"Something about it felt so good to be pressed up against someone, I don't know..." 
You could not help yourself and started to laugh. You knew you were going to get a rise out of him. 
Joel's face flushed an even deeper shade of pink as you started to laugh, clearly amused by your joke. He could feel his heart racing in his chest, his mind racing as he tried to come up with an excuse. He was just dreaming, it was not about you. 
"W-what?" he spluttered out instead of making an excuse. "I didn't... I didn't say anything like that."
You have a shit-eating grin on your face and you press your hands on his chest to prop yourself up. You enjoyed watching him squirm.
Joel's eyes flickered down to your hands on his chest. He sickly thought they felt so right placed there. He imagined what you would look like fully mounting him. 
He tried to keep his expression neutral, but you could see through his stone-cold exterior.
"You're messing with me, aren't you?" he grumbled, a hint of suspicion in his voice.
"Fully fuckin' with you." You giggle, hoping he is not really that mad at you. 
“You’re a brat.”
You move your foot slightly, running it up his leg. It sends shockwaves up his body, having you so close and moving around so seamlessly. 
"No, you said something about how beautiful, alluring, and incredible I am. Said I was the girl of your dreams…"
"Yeah, right," he said, a hint of playful sarcasm in his voice. "You expect me to believe that?"
"So, you don't believe me?"
"No, I don't believe you," he says, his voice stern but playful. "I think you're a dirty little liar, trying to play me for a fool."
"A dirty little liar, huh? Well, it's good to know that you don't think I'm beautiful, alluring, and incredible." You giggle at his acknowledgment, knowing he caught you red-handed.
"Oh, I never said that," he smirked, a hint of teasing in his voice. "You are all of those things, darlin’. But you're also a dirty little liar who likes to play games."
"So you think I'm beautiful?" You crack, the biggest smile painted on your face. You don’t even care that he’s calling you a liar because it does not matter. Joel thinks you are beautiful. 
“‘Course I do.”
You push yourself up onto your butt, sitting crisscross next to him. He secretly wishes you were still curled up on top of him. 
“You always this nice in the morning?” You ponder, your fingertips starting to toy with the hair on his stomach. He tries not to pay mind to it, letting you have full access to touch him. 
But it’s driving him insane. The way you look freshly woken up, completely enamored with the idea of him calling you beautiful. You have some puffiness under your eyes and your lips are more swollen than usual.
“I am always nice to you.”
You let out a scoff, “No, you’re not.”
He notices the shift in your tone and starts to get defensive, “Now you’re just lyin’.” 
Joel always loved to gaslight you in these situations. You knew better than to let him get away with it, especially now. “No there was that one time you told me you did not like me and that you would never like me. How you are old enough to be my dad-”
“Because I am!”
And there’s the wall. The only constant in you two’s relationship. He was so good at throwing it up when feelings were being expressed. When vulnerability was presented, Joel could not help but reject it. 
“And the world’s fuckin’ ended, Joel! Big deal!” You almost yell, moving your hands from him. 
Why does he already miss your hands?
He huffs, crossing his arms over his soft chest. “We have had this conversation for the last 10 years.’M not sure why we keep rehashing it.”
“And every time you turn me down it’s another fuckin’ stab in the heart.”
“You know why we can’t,” He practically growls. You can not stand to even look at him anymore with your bitterness and irritation taking over. 
“Whatever, Joel.” 
As soon as you say it, you’re already leaving his room and heading to your own. When you slam the door, you hope you have made your point. You want to scream and punch a hole in the wall, but instead you just furiously stomp around the room and grab your clothes. You had patrol at noon, so you needed to get to the mess hall before breakfast was over. You try not to cry as you strip down and get dressed.
Joel sits in bed, reeling. He hates that it has become a conversation every six months. He hated that rejecting you always sent you into a spiral of hating him for extended periods. It’s not that he did not want you, it was simply just not in the cards. He was too old to be in love. He was too old to play house with you. He just could not submit to the idea of leading you on, especially because you had so much more life to live. 
He finally works up the courage to get out of bed and put on some clothes. He opts for putting on his typical jeans and thick flannel. It was getting colder and he knew by the end of the winter, you would end up with half his flannels anyway, so he had to enjoy them while he had them. 
You storm downstairs, going to the back door for your boots when you spot him in the kitchen. 
“You got pat-”
“Yes.” You respond quickly, shoving your foot into your shoes. He stands behind you with a mug full of tea, watching your every move. 
“Who are you-”
“Jesse.”
He was asking his usual questions, which you were not in the mood to answer. 
“Hey, can you-”
You snap your head back at him, giving him the glare you gave him as a warning usually. By now, he takes it as a hint and backs off. But not this time. 
“Can I what?”
He rolls his eyes, “Can you fuckin’ not be a brat about this?”
You wish your glare came with knives. If that were the case, Joel Miller would be dead on his kitchen floor. 
You are so thrown off by the question that you just watch him get angrier when you do not respond. 
“Are you serious, right now?” You press, keeping your voice from cracking. 
He brings the mug up to his mouth, taking an obnoxious sip. When he pulls the mug away, you notice how steaming it is. “You always pull this shit-”
“No, you do! You do this shit to me every fuckin’ time, Joel. You sweet talk me, make me feel comfortable, have me lapping everything up in the palm of your hands, and then you snatch it away. Then have the audacity to get mad at me!”
You are yelling now and it is throwing him off. Joel knows better than to interrupt you like you do to him. You were the kind of person who would calm down if you felt heard. 
The way he knew you down to your core made this all so painful. Because if he was not so stubborn and true to his convictions, he would have fucked you the moment you touched his lips this morning. 
“I ain’t tryin’ to make this harder than-” “Too fuckin’ late.”
You think back to the moment last night when you knew you were going to hurt your own feelings by sleeping with him. You knew better, yet here you are, still blaming him for your stupidity.
He stands there, still holding his mug, staring you down like a wounded doe who got pierced with an arrow. He feels guilty like he misled you. Before he can say anything, you are lacing up your boots and leaving out the front door without another word. 
-
All day long, Joel wanders around the house trying to get rid of the pit in his stomach. Nothing works. A shower. Reading a book. Cutting wood. As soon as he tried to use laundry as a distraction, he reached into his hamper and found one of your t-shirts. He held it close and smelled it, trying to wrap his head around how he got here. 
You spend all day, silently fuming on horseback with Jesse. When he tries to get you to open up, you ice him out and tell him to focus on the trail in front of him. 
You get back by sundown, the sun setting making it a lot chiller than you expected. You decide to take the long way home, wanting to avoid being home for as long as possible. You were not ready to face Joel, let alone share a space with him. But unfortunately, during your patrol, you fell into some mud and needed a shower. The more time it spent on your clothes and body, the grosser you felt. 
You open the front door, announcing that you are home. It was a habit you and Joel developed after you both pulled guns on each other during late-night arrivals. 
You hear Joel mumble something from the living room, but you do not stop to listen and continue on your way upstairs to the bathroom. 
You strip down as soon as the door is closed, tossing your muddy clothing into a hamper in the corner. You would get them washed and hung as soon as you shower off. 
You hear Joel’s footsteps creaking around the upstairs hallway as you scrub your body with homemade soap and warm water. 
When you start to dry yourself off, you hear Joel grunting something in the hallway. You wrap yourself in a towel and peek your head out the door. He’s on his hands and knees wiping something off the hardwood. “What’s goin’ on?”
He looks up at you, your body only covered in a bleach-stained blue towel. It makes his head spin. He can’t even be mad that you tracked in mud. 
He swallows, gripping the cloth he’s using tighter. “You got mud everywhere.”
You step out, not even really thinking about the fact that you are not properly dressed in front of Joel. You were still mad at him, anyway. Who cares what he thinks?
“Sorry, I could’ve cleaned it up.”
He returns to wiping the wood, “It’s fine, I got it, kiddo.”
You accept his response and move on to your room, but the draft you leave behind drifts to Joel’s nostrils. Your soap smells like lavender and it always sends his mind racing when you are fresh from a shower. He clears his throat, trying to get through the emotions filling his chest. 
But it’s been like this all day. You’re all around him even when you’re not physically here. How can he get away from you? Why is he trying to run in the first place?
He’s on his knees in your hallway, cleaning up your mess, sniffing the air you leave behind because he’s fucking in love with you and he cannot help himself anymore. 
Joel starts to think about how peaceful he felt having you next to him last night and how he would love to feel that way every night. For once he’s not thinking about what everyone else would think. For once he’s thinking selfishly and caving into every desire he has ever pondered about you. How would you feel under him? How would your lips feel pressed against his pulse point? 
His body was on fire, thinking about you. 
You are fiddling with some clothes in your dresser after you flick on the overhead light. You do not hear him come into your room behind you. 
You are so wrapped up in your own thoughts that when he clears his throat to announce he’s in your room, you scream. Loud. 
“For cryin’ out loud, woman!” 
You grip your towel tighter when you turn and see him standing at your mercy. 
“Joel, what the fuck?” You yell, gesturing to the fact that you are practically naked. He does not care, of course, and his ears are ringing from your piercing scream. He gathers himself as you shift back, trying to create some distance from him.
He is trying not to gawk at the fact that your grip on the towel against your chest is only pushing up your cleavage. He’s biting back everything. “Can we talk?”
“Talk about what? The fact you crept into my room when I was trying to change? Are we past boundaries now?” 
You are pissed, trying not to rattle off another million things to discuss with him. He’s only really talking about one thing. 
He scoffs at your last statement. “Boundaries were already out the window when you crawled into bed with me last night.”
Silence fills the room as you completely stop breathing. The anger you originally felt dissipates. 
“Joel-“
“I ain’t doin’ this back and forth anymore,” He starts shifting in his spot, unsure if he really should be doing this. “I can’t live how I've been livin’. Somethin’s gotta give.”
You furrow your eyebrows, confused. 
“You are the one who won’t give, Joel.”
As soon as you say it, he practically drags himself over to you. Completely destitute. You have never seen him look so desperate before. You can tell that he’s been at war with himself ever since you left this morning. His eyes never lied.
His hand creeps up your bare arm, leaving goosebumps in his wake. 
But then you remember his words from this morning. You start feeling like this is just a moment of weakness for him and that he will regret it later. You had to stop it before it was too late. You did not want to deal with the consequences. 
“Joel, you said we can’t-”
“Fuck what I said,” He cuts you off, “Do you want this?”
You stare into those brown eyes, searching for a sign of hesitance. You cannot believe Joel is being this vulnerable with you. 
But, you do want him. God, you have wanted him so badly for so long. You have searched for him in every man you have ever been with since knowing him. 
Your mouth opens but nothing comes out. He takes note of your parted lips, every word failing you at that moment.
“Darlin’-”
“Yes,” You finally manage. “Yes, I do want this.”
It’s all he needs. He closes the gap between you two by wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into his space. His lips crash onto yours, not wasting another breath of air waiting to indulge in his sickest fantasies. 
You are all Joel ever dreamed about. He knew that once he caved and physically gave in, his world would be shot and everything would revolve around you. For years it had been a teetering object on a cliff, one nudge would have him falling. He always managed. But now, he was falling head first. 
His lips move so perfectly with your own. Your hand released your towel and found the tufts of his curls at the base of his head. You did not care that the article pooled around your feet, leaving you completely bare in front of Joel. You have wanted this all along. To be uncovered, to be stripped down to the rawest form. He broke the kiss briefly just to scan your naked body, his forehead pressed against your own. 
“Fuck, you are so beautiful.”
Your heart stutters as his hand traces your stomach down to your hips, all the way down to your ass. He stops there, grabbing a handful. 
“I need you,” You choke out before pressing your lips to his over and over again. “Right now.”
He mumbles “jump” into your mouth and you do so, his hands working quickly to hike you up onto his waist. He carries you to your bed, wasting no time dropping you onto your back. 
He cannot get enough of your soft, swollen lips. Every time he pulls away slightly, he dives in again even more aggressively than the last time. 
You are so hypnotized by the way he feels on top of you. In the light, he seems so much broader than he was last night. He’s still fully clothed, to your dismay. You start to tug at his shirt, motioning him to remove the articles that are in your way. 
He throws off his shirt before he stands up at the edge of the bed and pushes down his jeans. 
“Joel… I-“
He just shuts you up with another passionate kiss. It’s all tongue and teeth like he’s trying to melt into your mouth. Your hands trail up his back, gripping onto his shoulders, holding him down so he is pressing against your nude body. 
“God, I have wanted this for so long,” He sputters, trying not to sound too desperate. “Been wanting this.”
That’s when his hand reaches down between your thighs and gathers the wetness your slit has to offer. His fingers dance across it, starting from the top all the way to your spongy entrance. 
“Please, Joel.”
He loves the lust-laced tone you speak with when you say his name. It almost makes him cum there and then. 
You watch as he makes his way down your body, peppering kisses from your shoulder to your hip. When he parts your legs, you feel quite exposed. The adrenaline of being so spread for him manifests into a moan. 
“You are divine, baby.”
The use of that adjective is so-not-Joel that it makes you giggle. He notes your reaction and decides to sink down into you. When his mouth gets close to your core, it’s no longer a laughing matter. 
He uses his fingers again, using them to spread open your pussy lips. He cannot keep his eyes away from how dripping you are. “This all for me?”
“Y-yes, Joel.”
“God, I was a fuckin’ fool for so long. Could’ve had her earlier and I never fuckin’ caved. Such an idiot.”
Him giving your cunt pronouns was enough to have you throwing your head back and shuttering. His touch was magnetic like he knew exactly what buttons to push as he rubbed his fingers and palm over your core. 
“Yeah, you’ve been missin’ out. Every night…” You swallow before looking down at the man that is enamored with your pussy, “E-every night I would lay in this bed, fuckin’ myself just thinkin’ about you.”
He growls at the statement, before teasingly kissing your clit. “Every night, hm, kiddo?”
“God, yes.”
Your eyes squeeze shut as he leans forward more and dives in. His nose is pressed firmly against the top of your pussy, nudging forward every time his tongue enters your hole. When that motion became consistent, you began to note the rumblings in the pit of your stomach. A familiar build-up that you managed to get when you were playing with yourself. 
His fingers move in tandem with his lips and tongue. While his middle and pointer finger slide in and out of you, his lips wrap around your clit. It’s overwhelming and all-consuming. 
You do not know where to center yourself, so your hands grip the bed sheets you were completely soaking as Joel pulls the first orgasm out of you. 
“That’s it, baby, she’s cryin’ for me, hm?”
You hardly make a noise, the orgasm is so earth-shattering that you just writhe on the mattress. 
“Oh my god…” You groan, finally able to catch your breath. When Joel removes his fingers from you, you watch as he slowly brings them up to his lips.
When he inserts them in his mouth, you gawk at him, unsure how to react. He watches your expression and chuckles darkly.
“Mm, never seen a man enjoy the taste of ya?”
You shake your head. “Never expected to hear those words leave your mouth, either.”
“Wait ‘til you hear what else I got to say.”
He stands up beside the bed, grabs your hips, and brings them to the edge. He is tossing you around with ease, bringing your lower body flush with his. He yanks down his briefs, revealing himself to you. You instantly take notice of how well-endowed he is. You never thought you would ever be close to his cock, let alone have it lining up at your entrance. 
“Joel…“ You stop him with your small voice, but still welcoming him in with your legs opened wide, “I don’t know if it will fit.”
He grins, “It will, baby. Just relax for me, okay?”
You watch him slide his member along your center, the feeling so blissfully overstimulating. You whine a bit, raising your hips to his. 
But Joel continues his torture, enjoying the way you’re squirming under him. The way your eyebrows are knitted together, your eyes shut as you grind up into him. It’s the prettiest sight. 
“Ready?”
Your eyes fly open as you watch him ease his way into your core, the sound of squelching filling the room. You don’t think you have ever been this wet for someone. 
“Oh my fuckin’ god, Joel…”
He smiles as he inches in, “Squeezin’ my cock so good, darlin’.”
When he’s fully sheathed inside, he tests the waters by drawing out slowly. You roll your hips in a circle, trying to feel out every inch of him. He fits, but you know once he starts to move faster, the stretch will become overwhelming. 
He’s trying to focus and not blow his load immediately. You look so beautiful below him, your tits slowly shifting back and forth every time he draws back and forth. He reaches out, wanting to feel the flesh between his fingers. God, he craved every inch of you, he realizes. 
You open your legs as far as you can, letting him hit you at a different angle. The movement allows him to slip in a bit more seamlessly, so when he speeds up his thrusts, you don’t feel like you will completely split in half. 
He brings your leg up to hips, and feeling your soft delicate skin against him makes him lose all sense. His hips snap faster the more you moan out for him. 
“Fuckin’ Christ, girl. I can’t believe I was missin’ out on this cunt,” He babbles, “Need this cunt every day from now on. Gonna have you all to myself every night.”
You are too fucked out of your mind to read into those implications.
“‘M all yours, Joel.”
He smiles, slowing down a bit. “Keep talkin’ like that and ‘ll finish a lot sooner than you.”
You sit up a bit, your eyes flickering over his entire body. He notices you checking out his nude frame, which makes him feel a bit more bold. He leans down, capturing your lips in a hungry kiss. You love the way his tongue slips into your mouth so effortlessly. When he opens his mouth, his facial hair tickles your nose a bit which makes you smile. When his hips pick back up to a quicker pace, it sends you gasping into his mouth.
“Please, Joel,” You whine, that familiar build starts up but this time it’s like a freight train. Moving so quickly down every nerve ending in your body. “I’m gonna cum.”
“‘M with you, darlin’. Soak this dick. I’m right behind ya.”
His dirty talk causes the crash. Your body practically lifts off the mattress. You cry out so loud you are sure a neighbor could hear you. You try to gain your bearings, but you are panting like you just ran a mile. 
Joel fucks you through it, but the restriction your pussy is putting on his cock sends him over the edge. His hips stutter into yours, his seed emptying into your spent hole. He just keeps repeating your name as his thrusts slow down.
He has never had such a visceral orgasm in his life. His knees are weak and can hardly keep up his weight. He practically falls on top of you, which does not offend you at all. His warm sweaty body on top of you is almost reassuring. 
“You okay, kiddo?” He finally mutters as his hot breath fans the nape of your neck. You just nod, bringing your hand up to his salt and pepper hair. You tug lightly, smiling to yourself. 
“I’m more than okay.”
He finally sits up, his cock spilling out of you as he adjusts his position. Your hole drips a mixture of cum onto your newly clean sheets, but you could care less. It’s just another thing to hand wash tonight.
Joel stumbles to the middle of the room, picking up your bath towel. He uses it to wipe himself up before coming over to you. Your legs are still slightly apart so he decides to clean you up a bit. He’s gentle, knowing that you are probably still sensitive.
Once he finishes up, he crawls next to you as you continue to recover. Your bones felt like jello so standing up to adjust yourself was not an option.
So instead of facing him, you stare up at your ceiling fan as his eyes lock onto every detail of your profile. It brings him back to one night you two shared under the stars a couple of years ago. It was his turn to keep watch so you curled up in your sleeping bag by the fire. He admired you from across the flames, the orange hues lit up every angle of your face. It was at that moment that Joel realized that he could not picture his life without you. You had weaseled your way into every facet of his life and he used to resent the impact you had on him. You were younger, more patient but still stubborn like him. You made him laugh, like genuinely laugh, for the first time since the infection. While you may have been a bit impulsive with your emotions, he envied the way you could say exactly what you were thinking. 
Joel did not want to love you, but it was impossible not to. 
You finally look over at him, noticing the softness in his gaze.
“Are you okay?” You pose, scrunching your nose. 
He gives you a toothless smile, his eyes crinkling a bit. “I just can’t wait to sleep next to you for the rest of my life.”
tags of people I love and who may wanna read (no pressure I just love u) (some of u did ask tho) : @ashleyfilm @hockeyhughes @pedrospookie @guiltyasdave @amanitacowboy @myownwholewildworld
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blackenedsnow · 6 months ago
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helloooooo, your writing is amazingggggg and i was hoping it would be okay if i requested a shadowww x reader. Where Maybe sonic ask shadow to bring medicine to you (to try and introduce you to shadow as your sick with something or have a major injury, etc). Shadow prehaps is annoyed but agrees anyways, then however when he meets you sees maria in you. Then veryday to be sure you get better shows up in the morning to help take care of you, and slowly the two become friends then prehaps at the end share a kiss and become lovers? Idk it sounded cute in my head lol.
familiar
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WARNING: Illness
PAIRING: Shadow the Hedgehog x Sick! Reader
NOTE: This is such a cute request and I'm pretty proud of this! Sending you all the love, and I hope this brightens your day a little! Take care of yourself <333
SUMMARY: Shadow reluctantly delivers medicine to you at Sonic’s insistence, but upon meeting you, he’s struck by a haunting familiarity.
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It was late afternoon when Shadow approached the house tucked away at the edge of the city, a small bag of medicine clutched in his gloved hand. The only reason he was here, he reminded himself, was because Sonic had all but begged him to.
“Come on, Shadow,” Sonic had said earlier, exasperated but hopeful. “They’re too sick to go anywhere, and I’m tied up with something. Just drop it off and say hi. You might even like them!”
Shadow had scoffed at that. “Highly unlikely.”
Yet here he was, standing at your door. He knocked, sharp and deliberate, and waited.
A muffled voice from inside called, “Coming!”
The door creaked open, revealing you. Despite the exhaustion evident in your eyes and the pallor of your complexion, you greeted him with a weak but genuine smile.
“Oh, you must be… Shadow?” you asked hesitantly.
He nodded curtly, holding out the medicine. “Sonic sent me. He thought you might need this.”
You accepted the bag with a quiet “thank you,” looking up at him with an expression so open, so trusting, that it stopped him in his tracks. For a fleeting moment, he was no longer standing at your doorstep but aboard the ARK, looking into the kind eyes of someone he thought he’d lost forever.
Maria.
The resemblance wasn’t physical, but there was something about your demeanor—gentle, unassuming, and kind despite the pain you were clearly in—that tugged at a memory buried deep in his chest.
“You okay?” you asked, noticing his prolonged silence.
He blinked, snapping himself out of the moment. “Fine. Just… don’t forget to take the medicine.”
You chuckled lightly, the sound hoarse but pleasant. “I won’t. Thanks again, Shadow.”
He nodded again, turning on his heel and disappearing into the fading daylight.
To Shadow’s own surprise, he returned the next morning.
It had been a restless night. Thoughts of Maria swirled in his mind, but they mingled with the image of your weary yet kind face. He told himself he was simply being thorough, ensuring you were following the instructions for the medication.
When you opened the door again, wrapped in a blanket and looking just as surprised as you were grateful, Shadow felt the smallest pang of relief.
“You’re back,” you said, stepping aside to let him in.
“You didn’t seem capable of taking care of yourself yesterday,” he replied bluntly, though there was no malice in his tone.
You laughed softly. “Fair enough.”
It became a routine. Every morning, Shadow arrived with something—soup, tea, a fresh supply of tissues—and checked on you. At first, his visits were brief and businesslike. He would make sure you had what you needed and leave with little more than a nod. But as the days passed, the conversations grew longer.
You learned to expect his dry wit and sharp observations, and he found himself oddly drawn to your quiet resilience. Despite how miserable you felt, you always thanked him sincerely, your gratitude genuine and unassuming.
“You don’t have to keep doing this, you know,” you said one morning as he set a cup of tea on your bedside table.
“I know,” he replied simply, sitting in the chair he’d claimed as his own.
“Then why?”
He hesitated, his crimson eyes flicking to the floor. “You…” he paused, looking back at you with a sigh. “I don’t know.”
You didn’t press him, sensing the weight of his words, but your soft “Okay, thank you.” carried more meaning than either of you acknowledged.
By the time you were well enough to venture outside again, the bond between you and Shadow was undeniable.
“You don’t have to come by anymore,” you said one evening as he walked you back to your door after a short outing. “But… I’d miss you if you didn’t.”
He paused, his gaze meeting yours. There was something unspoken in his eyes, something vulnerable.
“I’d miss you too,” he admitted, the words slow but sincere.
Before you could second-guess yourself, you leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. His eyes widened, and for the first time since you’d met him, Shadow looked genuinely flustered.
“Thank you, Shadow,” you whispered. “For everything.”
His lips quirked into the smallest of smiles, a rare and precious sight. “I... You’re welcome.”
And from that moment on, his visits were no longer about ensuring your recovery—they were about seeing you.
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nereidprinc3ss · 1 year ago
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do you believe me now? | 2
in which fem!reader is feeling insecure about how inexperienced she is around spencer's friends and seeks his expertise to amend the problem
series masterlist
18+ (smut) warnings/tags: inexperienced reader, oral f receiving, (MUNCH!SPENCE RETURNS), fingering, (very) insecure reader, softdom!spencer, sub reader, nipple stuff, kinda sorta implied age gap, god i'm probably forgetting things pls lmk if i missed something important a/n: i've been laboring at this bad boy every day for so long i had to immediately post once it was completed lol. there will be a part three ... maybe i already started it ..... anyway i love u guys and i hope this is a satisfactory part two!! PLS lmk if you liked it!! hearing from u makes my day :')
When Spencer dropped you off at Penelope’s apartment for your first girl’s night—the hostess had promised you, JJ, and Emily lots of gossip sans 'icky men'—you had been ecstatic. You wouldn’t stop rambling to him about how excited you were. 
When he picks you up two and a half hours later, he can hardly get a word out of you. 
It’s not his fault, of course—well, not really, anyway. It’s just that all the girls had wanted to talk about was sex. A topic on which you held very little expertise and had essentially nothing to contribute. Out of the four, you were the only non-FBI agent, the youngest, and undoubtedly the least experienced. It was like high school all over again, except you actually desperately wanted to impress Spencer’s friends. All in all, you weaseled your way out of sharing without giving away that you were still very much a virgin. Sure, you could have said ‘we did hand stuff two weeks ago’, but you had a feeling these women wouldn’t consider that very impressive. 
But you can’t easily relay that information to Spencer—even when he immediately picks up on your sullen mood. He asks you what’s wrong as you make your way down the echoey staircase, but you hold back, muttering something along the lines of we’ll talk about it later. 
Later doesn’t come on the sidewalk outside. It doesn’t come in the car, or at any point during the twenty minute drive, but you feel it rapidly approaching as you climb the stairs to Spencer’s apartment. He unlocks the door and holds it open for you, doesn’t speak as you kick off your shoes and wander aimlessly into the living room.
“Did you eat?” He finally asks, hanging his keys on a hook by the door and glancing over to where you linger in the center of the room like a ghost. 
“Not hungry.”
You both know that wasn’t the question, but he lets it go. 
“Alright... well, I was thinking—“
“Why haven’t we had sex?”
The question flies from your mouth before you can stop it. It tastes like metal and you wish you could take it back as you stand there, cheeks hot and awaiting a reply. It seems you’ve thoroughly astonished Spencer as he gapes at you like a fish out of water for several silent moments, eventually opting to shove his hands in his pockets and shake his head at the wall as he processes the question. 
“I… I don’t know. We just haven’t. Does that bother you?”
Suddenly your whole body feels intolerably warm. Your fingers twitch against your thighs. Of course it bothers you. 
“Do you just not want to? You aren’t attracted to me like that?”
God, you despise how fragile your voice sounds—how much you obviously care, how insecure you clearly are. Spencer picks up on it, despite your most fervent wishing that he wouldn’t, and approaches, stopping a few feet away. You stare at the span of oriental design on the floor between your feet. 
“That’s not at all what I said, angel. I wish you wouldn’t put words in my mouth.”
“Well, then… say something else,” you plead quietly, childishly, still unable to meet his eyes. Prove me wrong. 
He sighs, which does not bode well for you. You wonder if you accidentally triggered the early demise of your relationship and christ do you wish you could rewind. When he steps closer, when his hands find your arms, you’re not sure where to look. But the low, sweet tone of his voice entices you to finally meet his gaze, charmed like a snake as his eyes dart between yours. 
“You know that’s not how I feel.”
You shake your head earnestly, looking up at him with wide eyes as he slowly rubs your arms. 
“No. No, I don’t know that.”
Spencer frowns, glancing at your lips as he speaks. It’s impossible to not do the same when he’s standing so close. 
“But I’ve told you. I don’t understand how you couldn’t know how far from the truth that is.”
You think back to two weeks ago—the first and only time he’d ever done anything more than kiss you. A different kind of flush replaces the shameful one in your cheeks as you try to make your case and not get distracted by the memories of his hands all over you.
“So why won’t you prove it?”
It’d been intended to come out cool, but instead you sound a little desperate, a little out of breath as you realize you and Spencer somehow ended up so close to each other you can feel the warmth radiating from his body. 
“Is that what you need from me? More proof?”
He speaks so lowly, his fingers press into the flesh of your arms portentously, and you think maybe you’ve poked the bear one too many times. But you won’t back down now—not when you think you might actually get what you want. 
So you look up at him and nod, throat too dry to speak. His eyes are deceptively soft, but you don’t miss the big bad something lurking just beneath the surface of the placid hazel. 
“And how do you think I should prove it?”
“I told you what I want,” you whisper, speaking above your pounding heart. 
“Not tonight, honey. Choose something else.”
“Well—that’s not fair,” you stammer, “the whole point is for you to want to have sex with me.”
Spencer smiles a little, tucking hair behind your ear. “I do want that. I promise you I do. But there are other things I want us to do first.”
“Then I want to do that, too! I just—I don’t know what I’m doing, and you do, and I’m already out on a limb by asking for this much. I know this is what I want but I need you to take the lead here. I trust you, Spencer.” You top off the monologue with an imploring gaze—hoping it delivers even a fraction of the impact that his puppy-dog eyes always have on you. 
He seems to study every square inch of your face as you wait in suspense for him to say something. At long last, his lips part—to no avail for several more seconds as he regards you. 
When the words finally do come, they’re an immense relief of pressure. 
“You’re going to promise me that you’ll communicate honestly. That means telling me if we need to slow down or stop, or if you don’t like something—”
“I promise,” you say, perhaps over-eagerly, offering him your extended little finger. 
An incredulous smile narrows his eyes. 
“Is this a pinky-promise?”
“It is.” You wiggle the finger in emphasis, and he shakes his head, smiling wider as you link pinkies. 
“I left you with Garcia for far too long.”
You shush him, disentangling your hands to cup his jaw and press your lips to his. It’s sweet and smiley until it isn’t—until everything slows down like sticky molasses and his hand is ghosting over your cheek, your neck, the curve of your waist, finally substantiating itself on your hip—the other encouraging you to tilt your head back as he deepens the kiss and you feel yourself melting under the heat of his touch. 
The pressure of his body against yours builds until you’re forced to take a step back, and then another, and another. Without question you allow yourself to be herded toward the bedroom, walked slowly backward as he keeps kissing you and blindly trusting he’ll make sure you don’t run in to anything. The bedroom door clicks shut behind him, and it is in all practicality a pointless gesture—but you find it incredibly comforting nonetheless.  
It’s too warm beneath your sweater and his hands are cool as they slip under the hem, sliding against the curve of your hip. Spencer’s never seen you without a shirt, you realize, as he pulls away from the kiss by only centimeters.  
“Off?” he mutters, thumbing at the knit fabric. And while you’re far from confident, you’ve certainly been making progress in this area. You help him tug it over your head without a word, noting a distinct and surprising lack of terror within yourself as you watch for his reaction to you. Hands glide slowly up your waist and you find yourself enchanted by the slight furrow of his brow, the parting of his lips. He traces down the lacy edge of your bra, skimming sensitive skin as he goes. 
“Pretty,” he murmurs. “You’re… so pretty.”
It seems you’ve rendered him uncharacteristically prosaic. The reaction might be underwhelming if it were anyone else—but Spencer Reid is a man who probably knows every synonym for pretty in the English language. Looking at you, he can’t think of a single one. In an odd way, it’s the highest compliment he could pay you. Your cheeks heat and your stomach flips as he drags a knuckle up the center of the cup, and you can feel it through the layers of lace and fabric. He leans forward, ghosting his lips over yours and continuing to run his fingers over the sensitive spot. “Do you know how pretty you are?”
This is one argument you will not be winning—one he’ll keep bringing up at the most inopportune times until he gets his way. 
“Spencer…”
“Don’t Spencer me. I’m asking you a question.”
The words don’t seem nearly as harsh as they really are when they’re delivered velvet-soft, with his lips and hands on you—when he’s so deftly popping the button on your jeans and dragging the zipper down with all the quickness of a slight-of-hand. It makes it hard to focus, even harder to speak. 
“We have… we have differing views on this matter.”
Generous handfuls of your hips and ass are taken as he helps you tug down your jeans before you kick them off, now left just in your underwear. 
“I thought I argued my point fairly well last time you were here. You didn’t learn anything from that?”
“Mm… maybe you just need to remind me.”
“Oh, I think I have to,” he agrees through a smile you can only hear. Gentle fingers skim up your back and tap the clasp of your bra. “How about this? Can we take this off?”
Any confidence from earlier crumbles and you loose a nervous hum—which is not the enthusiastic yes you’re sure Spencer will be seeking all evening. He pulls away, features etched with the beginnings of concern and a searching gaze. Asking would be unnecessary; the words simply come tumbling out of you. 
“What if you don’t like how I look?”
Spencer doesn’t even blink.
“That’s not going to happen.”
How you wish you could have the same assuredness in yourself that he seems to. 
“But what if… what if you’ve been with other girls who are more, like—I don’t know, just—better? Prettier?”
“Honey, you’re—” a sigh, a pause as he searches for the words—his eyes dart up and down your form, assessing, and when he looks back up at you, they’ve cleared and softened. He pulls you a little closer, rubbing circles into your back with his thumb. “I’m not thinking about anyone else right now. I’m not interested in anyone else right now. I already think you’re perfect, and I’m going to keep thinking that regardless of how you look. When I look at you, I’m not looking for things to critique. Do you understand me?”
As far as sentiments go, it’s a nice one. But the pressure of being seen still feels like an impossible burden. You whine, leaning your head against Spencer’s chest. He accepts your weight and runs his hand over your back as you look up at him. 
“But what if I’m hideously deformed?”
His eyebrows raise. 
“You’re not.”
“But what if I am?”
“Okay. It seems like you don’t feel ready yet, which is completely fine, we just won’t—”
“No!” you protest. “I am ready. I am. But… you have to promise to be nice to me no matter what. Or break up with me if you don’t like what you see so I don't have to wonder.”
“You’re ridiculous,” he says, kissing you, “and the only thing I’m willing to promise is that I’ll think you’re perfect. Me being nice will come as a natural byproduct of that which is very different than being nice by artifice. Take it or leave it.”
A moment of hesitance—but it’s short-lived. This is more important than your insecurities. Spencer is more important. 
“Take it,” you mumble against his lips. His fingers trace up the smooth skin of your back, all the way to the fabric and metal hooks on your bra. 
“Thank you.”
You wouldn’t have thought Spencer’s genius would manifest in being really good at undoing the clasp of a bra, but you can truly say you’re impressed by the ease with which he does it. It falls to the floor, leaving you completely shirtless for the first time in front of him. 
“Well?” you murmur, arms crossed defensively underneath your chest, because you understand overtop would sort of ruin the whole thing. “What’s the verdict?”
“You,” Spencer manages after a moment—you literally watch him memorizing every square inch of your body— “are ridiculously beautiful.”
The way his voice gets quieter makes your stomach flip. It sounds genuine. Too genuine to be faked. 
“So… no breakup?”
It seems that the more vulnerable you feel, the less likely you are to take a compliment. Spencer, who is always seeking patterns, probably recognizes this one, and doesn’t push you so hard this time. After a silent moment, he sighs and cradles your face in his hands. 
“You’re gorgeous. I hate how incapable you are of seeing that. We’re going to talk about this.”
“Yeah, but not right now, right?” you murmur, standing up on your tiptoes to kiss him. 
“Not right now,” he agrees. 
His lips are so soft and gentle against your own it feels like love, it feels like being talked down from the ledge of your own insanity. Somehow the way he strokes your hip feels more nurturing than sexual. It’s like he has sex and chaste affection on tap, able to turn them on and off at will. You’re happy to drown in either. Ideally, both.
After a while, his hands begin roaming farther, become bolder in their excursions over your flesh. Up, down, over your waist and ribs. Clearly Spencer had been trying to ease you into it, but you still can’t hide your sharp inhalation when his thumbs graze the sensitive skin of your breasts. He pulls his lips from yours, hands splayed over your sides. 
“Sit down.”
It’s much too gentle to be a command, but you frown. 
“Without you?”
“I’m not going anywhere,” he chuckles, lightly squeezing your waist. “Just sit. Utilize patience.”
You sit on the edge of the bed with an atypical reticence—you’re just a little too nervous for a snippy comeback. Spencer picks up on this, features softening sympathetically as he undoes his tie with nimble fingers. It lands somewhere on the bed and he leans over you, resting his weight on his fists and offering you a quick kiss. His voice is soft and designed to soothe as he speaks, mere inches away from your face, and so quiet it could only be heard at this range. 
“Are you nervous?” Cloth from the duvet pinches between your fingers. For a moment you don’t reply, dropping your head to watch when Spencer runs his hand over your thigh. “It’s okay if you’re feeling anxious, baby. We don’t have to do anything tonight.”
You expel a frustrated huff. 
“I want to. Just because I’m nervous doesn’t mean I don’t want this. I can handle a little bit of anxiety.”
He hums, dropping to a crouch and inserting himself directly in your line of sight. 
“I know you can. But you don’t always have to push yourself so hard.”
“I’m fine pushing myself a little. I pinky-promised I would tell you if I wanted to stop, remember?”
“Oh, how could I forget a pinky-promise?” he smiles. 
How could you forget anything, you think, becoming flushed and silently insolent at his dulcet teasing. 
“Please, do something.” It’s a whisper, brushing his lips as you lean down until you’re nose to nose. His hands are on the back of your legs. 
“I’m working on it.”
“It doesn’t look like it.”
“You’re smart, angel. Tell me why I've got you naked on my bed and I’m kneeling in front of you. Where could I possibly be taking this?”
Oh, you have a pretty strong inkling—but you’re scared to voice it and be wrong. Instead of risking it you shake your head slowly, shyly. What you’re not expecting is for Spencer to duck his head down, slide his hands up the side of your thighs and press kisses to the delicate skin there. It feels good—better than you’d have thought. 
“You don’t know?” he asks, looking up at you through burnished gold-rimmed pupils. “No guesses?”
“No guesses,” you agree breathlessly, hotter than you were when you had your clothes on and all the energy in your body condensed into one point between your legs. Spencer hums like he’s considering your answer, smoothing his thumbs over the soft skin of your thighs so gently it feels like burning. 
“I don’t think you’re being entirely truthful. Lie back, sweetheart.”
You do as you’re told, scooting up on the mattress and falling back on your elbows. Spencer wastes no time in climbing over you, leaving you in much the same position as the last time you’d been in his bed. The sheets feel cool against your bare skin, but he is exceptionally warm and solid over you. 
“I’m being honest.” Lie. “I don’t know what you’re going to do.”
Lips find the most sensitive spot of your neck, dancing over it torturously. The front of his shirt brushes your chest. Your thighs clamp together. 
“I don't like being lied to. Just say it, baby. I know you know.”
“Spencer,” you whine, fists bunching the excess fabric around his waist. Warm breath condensates on the skin of your neck as he chuckles. 
“You don’t like being teased, huh?”
“Please, Spence,” you whisper. You notice the pattern of his breathing pause momentarily before it all comes rushing out at once—and you catalogue that particular plea for later usage. 
“I can’t say no when you ask me like that.”
You push your fingers into his soft hair. 
“I know.”
It was a lucky guess. 
He’s still for a moment, relishing the feeling of your hands in his hair, before darting up to kiss you. 
“I’m going to use my mouth this time,” he murmurs against your lips. Though you knew that was what he intended, your heart stumbles in its perpetual march. “Is that okay?”
“What if I…”
You trail off. This is a very intimate situation which you’re not quite sure you have delicate enough language for. Or maybe you’re just stalling. Either way, Spencer is eternally patient with you. 
“You need to stop worrying so much, pretty girl. I’d love to do this for you. But it’s your call.”
“Love is a pretty strong word.”
“Sometimes I think not strong enough.”
The way he’s looking down at you so tenderly, brushing hair from your face, makes you think maybe he’s not just talking about how much he would love to go down on you. Regardless, it fortifies your trust in him. Spencer is the kindest person you know. He’s so clearly an enthusiastic giver. Why not allow him to give you this? 
“Okay,” you breathe. “You can—yeah.”
As usual, you’re impressively awkward, but he doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, you think he not-so-secretly delights in being the one to fluster instead of the other way around. Rarely has he mentioned his past romantic and sexual exploits, but gathering bits and pieces, you assume he was a fairly late bloomer. He probably knows what it’s like to be nervous and so deeply unsure of yourself. 
“Do you remember what you promised me?” he whispers, pressing butterfly-light kisses to your jaw. Your eyes flutter shut as his lips traverse down your neck, teeth skimming over the delicate skin while your breath catches. 
“Mhm.”
“You’re not gonna break that promise, are you?”
His voice, soft and muffled by your skin, is the most exhilarating and disorienting high. Your entire body buzzes with anticipation, satisfied only where his lips soothe and his body presses against yours. It takes a moment for you to remember to reply. 
“No.”
Reward comes in the form of his thumb brushing over the peak of your breast at the same time as he murmurs, “good girl.”
Your stomach flips at the endearment—you squeak and arch into him slightly. Spencer’s hand slides down your ribs as he chuckles, lips pressed just above your collarbone. 
“You’ve never called me that before,” you shudder as he continues kissing over your neck. 
“It’s not appropriate in most conversational contexts. But I can tell you’ve always been good.”
“Really? How?”
Spencer pauses, pushing himself up to regard you with searching eyes. The places he’d kissed feel cold without him. 
“I just can. You’re thinking too much, baby. I need your focus on me.”
“It is on you,” you huff. 
You watch his expression shift minutely. He loves games. Of course he’d love playing with you. That knowledge is why you’re only partially surprised when his thumb catches on your nipple again. 
“Is it? You’re only thinking about how it feels when I touch you here?”
A stammering nod. 
He toys with the sensitive flesh only a second more, amusement lighting his eyes, before dragging his hand down, down, down until it’s between your legs. Fingers trail over your clothed core, skimming the most sensitive part of you while your breath hitches.  
“Tell me how it feels when I touch you here.”
“Really good,” you admit, a heavy exhale escaping parted lips as he pins you with his gaze. 
“Really good, right. I can make it feel even better. Do you want me to make it feel better?”
Your thighs drop fully open and he adds just a bit more pressure until you’re pushing against his hand in search of more friction. 
“Yes please.”
“Then no more questions. I need you to trust me.”
Your answer is a breathy, dreamy sigh—you’d do anything, say anything for him. 
“Okay.”
Spencer kisses you, absorbing your noises of protest as his hand ceases between your legs and settles on your hip. But you’re trusting him. No whiny complaining. No unnecessary questions. 
Things go much quicker once you’re not interrupting him every twenty seconds to say something. His lips reattach to your neck, retracing their path (albeit quicker) until he’s below your collarbone. You watch in rapt fascination, twisted brows and parted lips as he peppers kisses down over your breast before dragging his tongue over your nipple. A jolted little moan spills out because you hadn’t been prepared to hold one in. Waves of hair fall over Spencer’s face, obscuring him from your vision, but you don’t think to push it away—your body is too busy processing the sensation to be much use on any other front. He darts his tongue over the peaked flesh, eliciting more little open-mouthed exhalations of pleasure from you. Earlier you hadn’t really thought it necessary for your bra to come off—you had no idea this could actually feel so good. A moment later he begins toying with the other nipple and you gasp as a bolt of heat goes straight to your core. 
You curse, further words catching in your throat as he suddenly switches, mouthing at your other breast and letting the cold air chill the other until you have goosebumps. It feels a little like hypnosis—you’re unable to move or speak as his tongue laves over you. Soon he’s replacing his mouth with a thumb again, sucking a mark onto your tit just above your nipple. You whimper a little at the pleasant brutality of it, hoping as he releases that it won’t soon fade. Spencer swipes over the stinging skin and presses a tender kiss to it, almost like an apology—but you sincerely doubt he’s actually sorry. 
Then he resumes his descent, leaving soft kisses down between your breasts, over your ribcage and stomach—when he reaches your hips, he doesn’t pull off your underwear all at once. Rather, he slides the fabric down centimeter by centimeter, kissing the revealed skin like it’s precious. 
This time you don’t need to be told to lift your hips. He helps you slip the final piece of clothing down and off of your legs, flinging it somewhere blindly before getting comfortable between your thighs once more. Your heart pounds with arousal and anxiety as his arms wrap around your thighs and his hands rub up and down the tops of them slowly. 
“God, you’re fucking beautiful,” he mumbles, loosening his hold on one leg to thumb at your folds. They glisten in the dim light of his bedroom as he gently reveals your clit. A soft whine escapes you when he nudges at the aching bud, slipping over it a few times and alleviating a bit of the pressure that’s been building. “Shh, baby. I know. I’m gonna take care of it. You’re being so good for me.”
Fuck. The way he talks to you makes your brain turn to mush—you’re utterly incapable of forming an intelligent thought. Spencer has rendered you a complete idiot, and you’re not upset about it in the slightest. 
He presses more gentle kisses to the creases between your thighs, just above your clit—everywhere except for where you need him most. Everything aches for him in the best way and at least you’re too turned on to be very insecure anymore. All you want is relief. But you’re trusting him. 
Thankfully, he delivers. 
The tip of his tongue grazes so lightly over your clit that if you weren’t this worked up you may not have felt it at all. In your current state, however, the stimulation echoes through every atom of your being. Every muscle is tense, frozen in place—you can’t even breathe for a second. He does it again, a little flatter, with a little more pressure, and you whimper. It’s a delicate thing, almost pained and definitely overwhelmed as he gently begins working his tongue against you. Your head cranes up to watch, your jaw drops. Approximations of curse words try to form, but come out only as, “f-fu—oh,” so whiny and soft it doesn’t even sound like you. He hums sympathetically, but you suspect it morphs into a chuckle as you continue to gasp and mewl. 
There are times where you can hold back sounds of pleasure. When you’re by yourself, it’s typically not a problem. Two weeks ago when Spencer was knuckle deep in you for the first time, it had certainly been a challenge, and you’d pretty much given up. But this—this is something else entirely. It feels like religion. It feels like compulsion. Even if you had the slightest modicum of control over yourself, which you currently don’t, you wouldn’t want to keep quiet. You want him to know what he’s doing to you. 
So you let every cry, every whine and whimper drag from your lungs, unbidden and unshaped. You’re new at this, after all—every broad lick feels so good that you have no fucking idea what do to with your hands or how to stop rolling your hips or how to censor your sounds. 
“Spencer,” you keen in one of the moments you remember to breathe. He moans against you, taking you into his mouth and sucking lightly. Your hips buck. “Oh, my—fuck!”
The hand that’s still around your thigh rubs soothing lines up and down. The one that’s spreading you open pulls your folds apart a little bit further, granting him more access to your clit. He flicks his tongue and you almost come then and there, vision going gray for a split second. 
“Wait, wait, Spence—“ you squeak, writhing and trying not to squeeze your thighs together for fear of hurting him. He pulls back and looks up at you, lips shining with your slick and eyes glazed with lust. Fuckfuckfuck he looks so fucking good. “Please, just… slow down, or I’m gonna… or it’s gonna be over.”
The corner of his mouth twitches as he rubs circles into your inner thigh. 
“It’s over when you say it’s over. You don’t have a refractory period. We don’t have to stop at one.”
“Oh—you don’t—you don’t have to do that,” you stammer. 
“I know I don’t have to. But if you want me to, I want to. You taste so good, angel girl.”
Well, shit. 
He looks absurdly sexy between your legs like this. You have no idea how you got so lucky, but you don’t plan on taking it for granted. Your fingers tangle in his hair. 
“I don’t know if I can do more than one,” you admit shyly, slightly embarrassed by how little you know about yourself and in general compared to Spencer. Hazel eyes sparkle in the warm light. 
“How about we start with one and see how it feels?”
Your voice is breathy when you respond, “okay,” already impatient for him to get back to it. Spencer seems just as eager, immediately kissing between your legs with a passion that makes your lips jealous. 
The flat of his tongue presses circles against you and your hips buck, already ramping up to that point you’d been at before calling a time-out. Slowly his fingers find their way to your entrance and he teases you with them, dipping in to the first knuckle before withdrawing again. If you could form words, you’d beg him to just do it already, but all you can manage is an affronted whine as you tilt your hips down, hoping he catches the meaning. 
Of course he does—pushing two fingers inside you at once. The intrusive stretch adds a sharp edge to the pleasure, makes it more interesting, as your brain short-circuits and you choke out a moan. It only takes a few slow pumps of his fingers in tandem with the pressure of his tongue until your hips are writhing and you’re and mewling desperately, more overwhelmed with pleasure than you’ve ever been. You push his hair back, able to see him for the first time, and fully appreciate the hollow of his cheeks, the way he looks up at you with perfect, glassy half-lidded eyes, the rhythm of his hand and tongue—he takes your clit between his lips once more, sucking lightly, and you’re done for. A pornographic sob escapes from deep within you as you come, but he doesn’t stop. The orgasm lasts longer than you knew one could—although, it’s only your second time, so you don’t exactly have a lot of data to go off of. Your entire body feels warm and floaty, and what he’s doing feels so good you want him even deeper—but you know he won’t give you that yet. Instead you focus on the slow burn of your orgasm, allowing him to carry on for a while until you begin slowly drifting back to earth and it becomes a bit too much. He recognizes the barely-there whine for what it is and pulls his fingers from you carefully, pressing one final kiss to your clit that makes your legs twitch and summons a weak little moan. 
Spencer’s lips find other avenues, over the delicate skin of your thighs and hips and stomach as he slowly drags himself up again. By the time you’re face to face again you’re still breathing hard. You sort of feel like prey underneath his weight, studied so scrupulously, known far more intimately by him than anyone has ever known you before. But there is so much light and kindness in the way he looks at you that you almost can’t make sense of it. 
Maybe it’s possible to be known and still wanted. The possibility spins like a coin on its edge in your mind. An idea you spent so much time trying to nurture and is only just now beginning to sprout. Maybe someone could see you at your most vulnerable, and still find you worthy of kindness. Appreciation. Affection. 
Spencer certainly could, it seems, as he ducks down to kiss you. You dodge it, turning your head demurely. He nudges his head against yours, speaking so, so softly, utterly cloying as he teases, “what? You’re not gonna kiss me now? Is that how it is?”
“No!” you balk, equally as quiet and especially bashful. “Not when you… no.”
“Let me kiss you,” he pleads, so earnestly you turn your head back to face him. His big eyes are hazy, reflecting all the warmth and dizziness you feel. “Let me kiss you. Please.”
You whine.
“I don’t wanna… taste… myself.”
Spencer doesn’t miss a beat. 
“Hm. We’ll need to work on that. Because one day, I’ll make you come just like that again, and then I’m going to fuck you, and you’re really going to want me to kiss you then, angel.”
Something flickers in your core. 
Suddenly you’re not so squeamish. You really want him to kiss you now. But it seems he’s going to have his fun, first. 
“Open.” Without even thinking about it, your lips part. He really ought to be careful with what he tells you to do—you’re all too compliant. Even as his fingers slip between your lips, you’re obediently hollowing your cheeks around them, watching him with big eyes as his own mouth falls slightly open. “Oh, baby,” he croons. “What are we gonna do with you?”
That flicker has returned to a full-fledged throbbing once you open your mouth again, slightly dizzy from lack of oxygen. 
“Can you make me come again right now?” you whisper, grasping lightly at his shirt. He grins like he loves the idea—and you let him have his way, accepting his lips on yours with no complaint. After a few moments, (the taste is surprisingly unobtrusive), he pulls away.
“I would love to.”
-
part three
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sstan-hoe · 4 months ago
Text
𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐄𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧
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𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 — demon!bucky barnes × fem!reader
𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 — your boyfriend bought the perfect house, he said. The house in question beeing a ruin. You hated it but loved him. However, finding an old book and a cocky demon was not what you expected. He proposes a deal, will you accept? What if you don't keep your end of the bargain?
𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 — SMUT, light degration and dumbification, oral (both f/m receiving), p in v without protection, reader has short sex with bf and then later with bucky, filthy sex, a little rough and dirty talk — I'm a little rusty so please don't hate it too much lol
𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆 — do you remember me? I sure hope so! I'm not saying I'm back, but I'm slowly coming back...for how long? idk. Anyway, I adore demon!bucky, and I love beetlejuice, so I kinda mixed it up. Please don't forget to give feedback!! Yeah also this has 7.8k words.
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With a sigh you heaved a box out of the car, not believing you actually trusted your boyfriend when he said, he found the ‘perfect house’. Aside from the fact that he made questionable choices in the past, you should have checked it beforehand.
Now here you were, in front of a ruin almost and nothing about this house made you feel at ease. It looked like it would fall into itself at any moment, shabby windows and a broken roof.
Shaking your head, you walked inside with a spark of hope that inside looked better than outside. Spoiler, it did not.
“How could he buy something like this?” you whispered to yourself while putting the box down. He probably bought because it was cheap, and it was cheap because no one wanted it…wonder why?
Furthermore, there were two of you and this house was big enough for a family of four with a dog. Meaning it was too big and hadn’t even talked about children – not that you were ready anyway.
You decided to walk up the stairs, look a bit around as a sign of good will. Maybe it looked better in the higher parts.
Everything looked as if it would collapse every second, the wood crunching beneath your feet. The awful smell of moulding floor and plaster falling off the walls, made you roll your eyes. How could anyone want to live here?
At last, you found the stairs leading up to the attic, perhaps anything, really anything interesting was up there. You tried opening the door, but it seemed locked, again you forced your whole body against it and with a cracking sound it opened. You tried opening the door, but it seemed locked, again you forced your whole body against it and with a cracking sound it opened.
You stepped inside, looking around you saw furniture and a long table covered with white sheets. Curiosity got the best of you, taking the edges of the sheet and ripping it off.
Beneath it was a model of this town, the town you were in right now. It made you wonder how old this house was – or wait no, it was decades old, you didn’t need to wonder.
“Awesome, good job Andy,” you muttered to yourself as you let yourself fall onto a covered armchair. Your eyes wandered around the room, fixing on a box filled with paper. Pulling it closer, you lifted it on your lap.
Whoever lived here before forgot it apparently, inside were just pictures, some letters, and a book. “God, how old is this thing?” you asked yourself looking at the book.
It was covered in dust, wiping it away you noticed a different kind of writing, it almost seemed like runes. It probably was not the right decision to open the book, but there was nothing more interesting in this house.
 To your surprise, inside the book were letters you could actually ready, and you could pinpoint what Kind of language it was; Latin.
“Could not have become any weirder, found a real gem there Andy,” you muttered to yourself. No wonder the house was this cheap, crazy people lived here. “Honestly, as if they called upon some demons every Sunday, and probably truly believed some creature with four legs and horns would appear.” Shaking your head, you stood up and threw the book aside.
“Now you wounded me honey,” a voice behind you said, and it did not belong to Andy. With a scream you jumped up, turning around to face a man...,“Who are you?” you stuttered, not believing this was really happening.
He was tall, had broad shoulders, his brown hair was long but still a short, framing his face well. Then there were his dark eyes and his arrogant smirk...was he wearing a suit?
“Oh, do you not recognize me because I only have two legs and no horns?” he chuckled, taking a step closer to you. His whole being seemed dark, like only bad things followed him.
Something inside your brain snapped, as if it was overstimulated with the situation, “funny, this is so fucking funny, Andy!” you shouted through the attic. The man in front of you only chuckled, “listen I’m all for hearing a woman scream, but do you mind keeping it down?” His voice slightly hardening at the end.
You wanted to roll your eyes, now you we’re convinced he was a man – at least. “I’m leaving now, and once I’m gone you won’t exist anymore because you’re just part of my imagination,” you told him, hoping that you we’re right and you would wake up any minute.
He walked around you, coming to stand in front of the entrance. His frame almost as broad as the door, it made him even more intimidating. Face dark and calm, with no sign of humanity.
“You would like that would you not? But you can’t, can’t leave this house behind because of sweet Andy...,” he taunted you, and he was right, you couldn’t get out of this house...but you didn’t tell him that.
“Wondering how I know that? You should be a lot more careful with the books you’re Reading,” his grin spread across his face, taking a step closer to you.
“How bad do you want to leave this house?” he whispered, not stopping until he was right in front of you. His warm breath against your lips. You didn’t know what to say, if you should answer honestly...after all you we’re standing in the attic with a strange man.
“Fuck you,” was what you decided on and shoved him to the side. Bucky laughed, but as soon as he saw you glaring at him stopped although he couldn’t stop smirking,  “we’ll see about that.” You ignored his words and opened the door to leave this bloody attic.
Downstairs you found Andy who looked like a little kid on Christmas morning, he loved this house and you. Most of all he loved the future you two would be able to start here.
It broke your heart, not knowing if you would ever love this house like he did, if you could see the future, he did…for now you shook that thought away, thinking you would just work through all the weird occurrences. Maybe you’re just catching a cold, and there is no man upstairs. – And you would definitely send Andy up there to check if he could see that man too.
“And what do you think?” he stood in front of you, a wide grin stretched across his lips, “I know we have a lot to do, but it’s ours,” he wrapped his arm around your waist. A lot might be an understatement, and where would all the money come from?
“Yeah…ours,” you muttered, looking into his bright eyes. “We can grow old hear together,” he added, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. You tried your best to smile at him.
---
Two weeks went by, construction workers came in and out of the house, working on the roof and façade. Shortly after your conversation with Andy, you showed him the attic, the book and nothing happen. Nothing happened in the last two weeks, so it had to be imagination.
Right at this moment, you stood in the kitchen – well it wasn’t much of a kitchen yet. You were crouched on the floor, trying to get those tiles clean and see if anything was still usable of that wood.
You opened a cardboard door and were met with something big and hairy, you tilted your head to get a better look when it suddenly moved, looking straight at you.
A loud scream came from your mouth, making the animal start running out of the kitchen. You wanted to cry.
Andy quickly came into the kitchen, “sweetheart what happened?” coming to a stop next to you. “There was a rat, a fucking rat Andy. There are animals everywhere,” you complained.
“It’s not that bad, we’ll have them out in no time,” he promised you, just as a loud crash came from the roof. Just then a constructer came in, “sorry guys, but there is mold on your roof, think it might get a little more expensive.”
You looked at Andy, watching his reaction intensely but he didn’t seem fazed at all. “Seriously? This is money we don’t have, you’re a lawyer not a trust fund baby! This house is a ruin, everyday there is a new problem, how can you not care?”
Andys eyes widened in shock, he didn’t expect you to have such an outburst. But it was understandable, after all everything was a little stressing at the moment. Gently he touched your shoulder, a soft smile on his lips, “don’t worry sweetheart, we will find a solution, I already thought of this.”
Quickly you stood up, “you already thought there was fucking mold on that roof? Then why buy this house, why spend this much money?” he could not be serious, this money could be used for so much more.
“No, not really, but I knew it wouldn’t be easy, that’s why I put some extra money aside,” he told you, coming to stand up next to you. You didn’t understand how he could be so calm, like everything was alright.
“Just ask, leave this house behind, live a nice life,” a voice whispered into your hear, dark and rough. A faint wave of warm breath flowed around your ear, “what?” you asked out loud, this wasn’t real?
“What?” your boyfriend repeated, looking a little confused, taking a quick look around. “Did you say something?” you asked him, it had to be Andy talking.
“I have everything under control, don’t worry,” he caressed your cheek and kissed your lips, you didn’t immediately react. Andy tilted his head a little, searching for something in your eyes, “hey, anyone there?” he questioned.
“Yeah, yeah I’m here,” you lifted your head to meet his gaze, “just need a breather,” you said, trying your best to smile at him. The man next to you nodded, just wanting you to be happy, he didn’t see how unhappy you actually were, how close you were to breaking.
As soon as you stepped out of that house, it felt like a weight being lifted of your shoulders. How could Andy stay this positive? There were rats, racoons and mold inside, doors that broke with a light touch and it was probably haunted. There was nothing in this house that would lift your mood.
“Still don’t wanna make a deal?” the same voice as before said, you swiftly turned around, now face to face with a familiar man. Every word on the tip of your tongue was gone, you were speechless.
“Oh, come on…you really thought I wasn’t real?” he grinned, face so close his nose was almost touching yours. You took a step back, glaring at him and hoping he would vanish into fin air.
“Fine, you’re real. What do you want? My soul?” you asked, you’ve heard stories about demons before and all of them included people losing their souls. However, none of them had the demon persistently asking for a deal, almost as if he was desperate.
“Normally, yes. But you my darling are too pretty for that…I want you, just for one night,” he didn’t move closer to you, still it felt like something was pulling you in.
“You want to sleep with me?” you asked astounded, this sounded like some the beginning of a bad porn video. What could he possibly have of this? You would never cheat on Andy, but could that be all? “Yes, I do and trust me once you had a taste, you will never get enough,” he grinned, showing his perfect teeth with slight fangs.
“I would never do that to Andy, and you can’t force besides I can’t even trust you to that there is nothing else,” you stated, crossing your arms over your chest.
“Darling, it is not all and I can’t force you, goes against my rules…and the rules in general,” the demon revealed, slightly shrugging his shoulders as he began circling you. “You just said that’s all, you’re already lying!”
Your words caused him to chuckle, “no, I said I want to fuck you. For the deal to seal you have to say my name three times, three times in a row it must be spoken unbroken.” He held his chin eye, closely watching your every move.
You scoffed, this was fucking stupid. “Who are you Beetlejuice? I don’t know your name, want me to guess it?” you spat at him, why were you even talking to him still?
“Who do think inspired them to make that character?” he promptly asked, voice laced with smugness, “but no, you don’t need to guess, it’s written in the book, or I can tell you and once you know it, you can scream it.”
“This is stupid and let me guess when I say your name you will be free?” you shook your head, not believing yourself. Maybe the mold in the house caused you to be high?
“Don’t be ridiculous, I can do whatever I want. You will say my name and sign a contract, saying my name will make you mine,” he rolled his eyes, you were going to be a hard one, but he already enjoyed it. Yes, maybe the name thing was a little stupid, but it was too funny seeing people do it.
“Whatever, I won’t make a deal with you. I’m not a cheater and I lived through worse, I will survive this bloody house, I love Andy,” you snapped at him before stomping away, back towards the house.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night darlin’, the name is James, for future references!” the demon called after you, he wouldn’t pass on a chance to make you his and if he had to worsen the state of the house, then so be it. There was no chance he would let you go.
---
The following few weeks went by without any sight of the demon and thankfully no part of the house collapsing. Still to many animals lived there, and the roof wasn’t completely finished and the rooms needed renovations.
And today no good news awaited you, you were tired and just wanted to lay on the couch. But as you stepped through the apartment door there stood Andy with a frown, making your stomach churn.
“Sweetheart, the house is going to take a little longer than expected but our lease is ending…meaning we will have to move into-,” “we have to move into that fucking construction site, are you kidding me?” to Andy your outburst was unexpected.
“I know it’s unfortunate but remember it’s our new home,” he took your hands in his, eyes full of hope. Completely oblivious to the fact how much you hated the idea.
“No, no it is a ruin, nothing is going according to plan and everything is horrible, I will not move into that wreck. I gave you a chance, and everything is going wrong!” you scoffed at him, shaking your head before leaving right out of the door again. This could not be happening, you were holding it together, trying to stay on the right path – then it did.
You took a deep breath and headed towards the park near your apartment. In order to clear your mind, you sat down on a bench near a lake.
Suddenly you felt a dark presence next to you, already knowing who it was. “You’ve been absent the past few weeks, were you waiting for everything to go to shit?” you asked in exhaustion.
“No, that would be very mean,” James chuckled, letting his arm rest behind you on the bench, fingers dangerously close to your shoulder. You dared to take a look at him, it knocked almost your breath out of your chest.
There is sat, thighs wide apart in a black tailored suit with a matching tie. His long hair combed back, matching his beard perfectly – wait since when did he have a beard? And why did it look so devilishly handsome?
“Liar, you’re waiting for me to agree,” you sighed, not being able to keep your eyes of him. “You’re sitting here talking to me…I know you want to,” he moved closer to you, fingertips ghosting over your shoulder which made you shiver. You closed your eyes, reminding yourself that this was a bad idea.
“I said no, I’m not cheating on him,” you told him confidently, crossing your arms over your chest. The bad thing however was, that you couldn’t move into any direction, on one side was his warm, beautiful body and on the other his hand waiting for you to move. He was ready to draw you into his aura.
“But would it be really cheating? He doesn’t even know I exist, little Andy would forget about the house, you would get the best sex of your life and live happily in that cute apartment,” the demon shrugged, foot nudging yours and slightly moving your leg to the side.
Taking a deep breath, you tried to resist every fibre in your body that wanted to give into him. “Just say yes,” he whispered inching closer to your face, lips almost grazing yours.
His words caused an idea to pop into your head, maybe you could use that to your advantage…, “fine, let’s make a deal. You get me out of that freaky house and then we will…,” your voice becoming a whisper at the end, lips close to his ear.
A smirk stretched across his lips, finally he got what he wanted. His hand came up to cup your cheek, “then say my name, say it,” James whispered. “It’s humiliating,” you argued, whining a little to which he only kept smirking – his face had to stay frozen at some point.
“No, it’s funny and we have to practise, don’t we?” the demon tilted his head to the side, eyes roaming over your lips with a hint of hunger.
James had lived for centuries, no millennia and had at least millions of souls in his possession, yet he had never crossed path with someone as beautiful as you. Never did he have the intention on sleeping with them – okay, he did sleep with some of them, but after taking their soul.
You, however? All he wanted was one night, one night to show you everything he had to offer and convince you to never leave his side again.
“Fine, James…,” you started, having to stop yourself from rolling your eyes, “…James,” you continued. Meanwhile the demons eyes glinted with pure excitement, “just one more time darlin’,” he whispered. “James,” you finished, making him laugh in a manner that perfectly fitted who he was.
“Good girl,” he said and snapped his fingers. You expected something to happen, like a change of scenery or a flash of light, “that’s it?” you questioned him, raising an eyebrow at him.
“I’m sorry darling, am I to boring for you? Should I put on fireworks?” James scoffed, this also never happened to him before. Everyone else shuddered, scrabbled to get away but there you sat, with a bored expression.
“Call Andy, ask how the renovations at the house are going,” he told you, lightly rolling his eyes at your suspicious glance. But you did what he said, Andy picking up after the third ring, “hey honey, how is it going with the house?” you lowly asked, expecting to be disappointed.
“What house? You mean the apartment? I guess everything is fine, nothing’s changed…are you coming home soon?” he questioned you thoroughly, confusion evident in his voice.
A huge smile crawled onto your lips, finally the nightmare was over. “Yeah, yeah, I will be home in no time!” you said with happiness before hanging up. “Now where is my thank you?” James pulled you from your thoughts, licking his lips.
“Oh, yeah we will think of a date later,” you answered standing up, pushing his leg aside. The demons face fell, he wanted you now. “You have to keep your end of the bargain,” he reminded you, standing up too with a glare.
He towered over you, flexing his broad shoulders while the air around you all of a sudden became thick. “I know but you never said when and you told me that you won’t do anything without my consent, so…,” for the first time you could grin at him in triumph. Patting his shoulder, you left him there at the park, letting him brood to himself.
James had never regretted not making a contract, he always made a contract to ensure he would not get screwed over and the one time he didn’t do one? He gets screwed over. Not to mention everyone was scared of him, begging him to let them live and they were desperate enough to do anything.
As he growled dark clouds began roaming the sky, his eyes took on their usual blood red colour and black horns emerged from his forehead. He was boiling with anger, no he would not touch you or hurt you, but he would also not leave you alone.
Coming home felt like a relieve for the first time in months, no house to worry about, no finances and just you with Andy. For the past few weeks your sex life had been awful, but today you felt like jumping his bones – Andy surely wouldn’t mind.
You opened the door, instantly seeing Andy on the couch. While walking towards him you started taking of your clothes, only keeping your lingerie on as you sat down in his lap.
“Oh, welcome home sweetheart,” he mused, wrapping his hands around your waist, “look at you pretty girl,” his eyes staring right at your tits. God, he loved the sight of them, how cruel of you to leave them in your bra.
“My eyes are up here cowboy,” you smirked, tilting his chin up with your index finger before capturing his lips in a heated kiss. Andy groaned in satisfaction, devouring you with hunger, tongue slipping into your mouth.
Meanwhile, you started grinding you clothed core onto his hardened erection. Moaned into his mouth as he gripped your waist tight, “mhm, let me taste your cock daddy please,” you whined as you pulled on his belt and who was Andy to decline your wish?
“Get on your knees,” he ordered, breathing heavily as he unbuckled his belt. Without hesitation you kneeled down, grasping his hard length.
Andy’s hand fisted your hair, holding you steady while you wrapped your lips around his cock. “Don’t you wish it was my cock you were tasting?” the voice didn’t belong to Andy, no it was James.
Your eyes widened, squeezing Andy’s dick harder unintentionally and choking on him. “yes sweetheart, choke on it,” he moaned, pushing your head deeper down. Thank god did he not notice. You continued your work, trying to ignore the weird feeling spreading in your stomache.
“I need to be inside you,” Andy gasped, hosting you up on his lap and pushing your panties aside. You held onto his shoulders for support, needing to concentrate on him for now. He helped you ease down on his cock, “Andy, please,” you whined, wanting him to just stretch you open.
“Can he even fully satisfy you darling? I doubt he can make you come as hard as I would,” his voice sounded taunting, he was probably having the time of his life and a cheshire grin across his lips.
“Shut up,” you whispered out loud without even realising it. Andy opened his eyes, looking at you with a hint of confusion, “what?” he asked.
“Nothing, just fuck me,” you begged and hoped he would listen before James ruined the mood for you completely. Your boyfriend didn’t need to be told twice, sitting you down on his member. The sound of your wet cunt motivating him to grip your hips and move you like he wanted.
“Really? That’s what turns you on, not what I expected,” it was as if he was lounging right next to you, but his voice sounded so distant at the same time. Fucking demon.
You started moving at a quicker pace in order to reach your high, gripping him like a vice. “Sweetheart just like that, I love you,” Andy breathed out, letting his head rest on your shoulder and biting gently into your skin.
“Aw, he loves you! How sweet of him, isn’t he just the best?” okay, yeah, now your mood and a chance of an orgasm were ruined. At least you could make Andy come.
You sped up, whispering how good he makes you feel, how bad you needed him and his big, strong cock. It didn’t take long for him to fill you up with his load and with that he groaned loudly inside your neck.
“Feel good honey?” you asked him sweetly, stroking his hair. “With you always,” he countered kissing you softly and full of love. Gently he lifted you of himself, telling you he will come back with a wet towel after wrapping you inside a blanket.
“Wow darling, couldn’t even make you come? Quite a show you put on,” now James was there, sitting next to you in all his might.
“Go away,” you snapped at him, hating how he could just show up at any point, anywhere and take up your mind just like that. “Yeah, I’m pretty down at the moment you know? Made this deal and the woman is not keeping her end,” he shrugged.
“Maybe you need to be clearer on your terms,” you simply told him, not giving him any glance, “you should go before Andy comes back,” you added with light annoyence.
“Don’t worry, he won’t see me unless I allow him to,” he shrugged, turning his head towards you. His hand came up to edge of the blanket, slightly moving it to the side to get a glimpse of your underwear but you slapped his hand away with a death glare, “don’t you dare.”
“I don’t take it kindly someone screwing me over, normally I would kill you…slice your throat open or make you suffer through endless days of torture…,” he whispered in your ear making you close your eyes as his finger trailed down the side of your cheek. James grinned, showing his sharpened teeth.
For the first time in a while you actually felt fear, you feared what he would do to you. Goosebumps erupted on your skin, couldn’t Andy hurry up?
“I won’t do that to you, no need to be so scared darling…however I will make sure you will never forget our deal until you do what you promised,” gently he kissed your cheek, it would be sweet and nice, if there wasn’t a threatening meaning behind his words.
Just then you felt a cold wind of air around you, and when you opened your eyes, he was gone. Andy came back, smiling happily at you while handing a towel over to you. He opened his mouth saying something you didn’t hear, your mind was couldn’t comprehend what was happening.
What would Bucky do? Would he hurt Andy instead? Would he harass you into sleeping with him? No, that couldn’t be, he told you, you had to say yes…right?
“Hey, hey? Anyone home?” he waved his hand infront of your face, a hand on your shoulder. You shook your head, mumbling a yes as you took the towel from him to clean yourself up, “I’m going to bed,” you said, standing up to leave your boyfriend in the living room.
Andy watched you leave, confusion written over his features, did he do something wrong? “Of course you did, you didn’t satisfy her enough,” a voice whispered in his mind. It sounded like his own, yet it had a dark touch to it.
He let his head fall down, sighing to himself before following you to the bedroom. Meanwhile, you took of all of your clothes off and put one of Andys shirts on, then curling under the covers. You weren’t sure how to handle the situation, but you knew it would cost you a lot of sleep.
The next day rolled around, Andy was gone before sunrise to work. You stayed in bed, called in sick for the day and researched if anything could help you right now.
You didn’t dare to leave the bedroom, not if it wasn’t completely necessary. Of course, if James wanted to, he could just appear here too, however you told yourself this was a safe space.
At one point you had to leave the room, carefully walking to the kitchen to find something to eat. In the end it became a sandwich, as you turned around with the plate in hand it almost fell right out of it again.
The kitchen gave a perfect view into the living room and therefore right on the couch. There he was, James, who you had been dreading to see, hoping for one day you would have peace. But no, instead he sat right in front of you and worse of all with no fucking shirt.
“Why are you half naked?” you pressed through gritted teeth, setting the plate down. James only shrugged, standing up to walk towards you, “does it bother you?” he knew it did, and he knew how handsome he looked.
“Yes, now go,” rolling your eyes, hoping it would actually work – probably not but it was worth a try. “You don’t mean that darling,” he whispered, walking closer to you with an intense expression until he stood right in front of you.
You took a deep breath before looking up at him, why did he have to be so tall? Most likely even taller than Andy…, “be careful, don’t want you hurting your neck,” James chuckled, hand coming up to cares your cheek. The act was so gentle you almost forgot who you were talking to.
“Reading minds now, huh?” you asked, trying your best to keep the glare on your face. “I could, but I just know how short your little boyfriend is,” he countered, oh how he enjoyed talking Andy down.
“What do you want demon? You threatened me and now make me look around every corner,” you said honestly. You hated how vulnerable you were right now.
“I wouldn’t have to if you had kept your end of the bargain…,” James tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. His touch felt good, and you hated it because it meant whatever he was trying to do was working.
“I couldn’t, I love him so much…I couldn’t do that to him,” even the thought of doing something like that, hurt you and most importantly made you angry about yourself, because why couldn’t you love Andy enough to accept the house?
“Can you look me in the eyes and tell me you see yourself spending forever with him?” James knew the question would hit a sensitive spot, it was part of his plan after all.
“That’s not fair,” you snapped, there was no way you would crumble under him. “Is it not? You wanted to make the deal, you wanted out of that house,” for once he tried not to smirk, knowing he was right.
“The house was a ruin!” you raised your voice, stepping away in order to leave the situation.
“Sweetheart? Who are you talking to?” What? Why was Andy home this early? One look from the door back to James made you realise he was already gone. Andy stepped inside the kitchen, again a little confused.
“No one, sorry, what are you doing home?” you asked instead, coming around the isle to kiss his cheek. “Have you looked at the clock? It’s five pm,” he chuckled, wrapping his arm around his waist.
“Oh, yeah right, I’m just a little tired,” you tried smiling it off, but Andy didn’t seem to buy your words entirely. Before he was able to ask questions you left for the bedroom again.
“See that? She is not happy with you anymore. She looks sad just being here with you,” that voice sounded in his mind again. For the whole day these thoughts had been haunting him, now he had enough.
With quick steps he followed you, “are you happy?” he called after you, making you still in your movements. “What?” “Are you happy? Do you still love me?” he questioned further.
“Why would you even ask me that?” you were utterly confused by his actions, by his words. “You’ve been acting weird, always closed up and when we have sex-“ “seriously? I sucked your dick off only days ago and let you fuck me like you wanted, I would hardly call that being weird.”
Andy looked at you with an unreadable expression, “wow, now that you say it! I just have to be wrong then,” he scoffed. Shaking his head, putting one hand on his hip.
“Andrew stop whining, I’m fine and you have no idea how much I love you,” you bit back, rolling your eyes at his stupid thoughts. Where does all of this come from? Of course, you had fights with Andy, but they all ended as soon as they started. Add to that, why was he so insecure?
You have known him for five years by now and he had always been confident in his being as well as your relationship.
“If you love me so much, why won’t you show me? I’m tired of this shit,” with that he turned around and headed towards the front door, “you’re acting like a child!” you shouted after him.
You took a deep breath, did this really just happen? “Wow, how sad, poor Andy,” great, James was just what you needed right now. “Told you it won’t last,” he leaned against the wall oppisite of you. “Did you plant these ideas in his head?” you questioned him, fury present in your tone.
“What if I did?” pushing himself off the wall, “it’s the truth, he doesn’t deserve you darling,” again his found their way to your cheeks. Why did he always have to be so close? Oh, right, because he knew it made you weak.
“You just want to sleep with me, you don’t like that I screwed you over and now you’re destroying my life!” you were close to tears, you thought after getting rid of the house everything would be better.
“No, no, I’m not but you could have such a better life with me, I knew it from the moment I first saw you,” James looked like he really meant it, as if you could just believe him.
“So, what, it was all a trap?” you asked, slowly beginning to get more angry than sad. “Well, I didn’t expect you to lie to me,” he admitted. A part of him, however, was proud of you, not everyone had the guts to lie to a demon.
Honestly you were fed up with him, with the whole situation. He destroyed your relationship with Andy and made you rethink your whole life. Then again, he was a demon, a creature you never thought would exist and yet here you were talking to him.
“You said you wouldn’t force me, but here you are,” you argued, wanting to break free of his hold. “Then step away, I’m not holding you. I know you’re fighting with yourself, take a step back if you really think you don’t want this.”
You did not step back, you didn’t move an inch. Biting the inside of your cheek, you didn’t dare to meet his gaze.
He moved his hand under your chin, lifting your head up, “it is time you keep your end of the deal,” with that he placed his lips on yours. At first, he didn’t move, waiting for you to change your mind.
Then you slightly opened your mouth, inviting him in – an invitation he gladly took. His tongue explored your mouth, consuming you with pure hunger. You tasted just like he imagined, like sweet honey and he doubted he would ever want to stop tasting you.
You snaked your arms around his neck, pulling him closer while he moved to tightly grip your waist. Suddenly he began pushing you towards the bedroom, without breaking the kiss.
Once you were through the door, you turned to push him away in order to breath, “you forget I’m human,” you said breathlessly.
Suddenly you were thrown on the bed, “James,” you shrieked, caught off guard. “Bucky, call me Bucky,” he said, undressing you with his eyes. You didn’t have time to question the change of name as he ripped Andys shirt of your body, “you can give him the shreds back.”
Bucky licked his lips, slowly kneeling down on the bed, his fingers skimmed along your naked skin causing you to lightly twitch. Hooking his fingers under your thong, slipping it down your legs.
Your breath hitched, everything about him screamed dominance but between your legs it was an unexplainable aura. Not even Andy was able to make you feel this way.
Throwing your underwear on the floor he wrapped your legs around his neck, “has he ever tasted you? Really, tasted you?” You just shook your head, flabbergasted with wide eyes, “no, he…just used his fingers,” you confessed, blood pressure rising.
Bucky only gave you one of his signiture smirks before lowering his head to your dripping cunt. He let his tongue glide through, before closing his mouth around your clit and harshly sucking on it. His hands kept your hips in place, he knew this was something you’ve never felt before.
A loud moan left your lips at this new sensation, hand coming down to tightly grip his hair. “Fuck,” you breathed, other hand holding onto the sheets.
Bucky lapped at your cunt like a starved man, “fucking delicious darling,” he groaned against you. Rocking your hips up against his mouth, you whined as it didn’t feel like enough, “more, please.” It made him chuckle, “I didn’t know you had manners, want my fingers so bad?”
You nodded franticly, bucking your hips up again as an invitation. He coated his two digits with your slick, then pushing them inside you. He already felt so much better than anyone else before.
“Gripping me like a vice, I can already imagine how tight you will feel around my cock,” he gloated, curling his fingers against your velvet walls. You just agreed with everything he was saying, enjoying the way he ate you up.
“Oh, shit,” you moaned as you felt a knot tighten in your stomach, the feeling of pleasure consuming your body and Bucky’s sinful words filling your thoughts. Bucky saw you crunching your eyes together and slightly lifting your hips. It was all it took for him to realise how close you were to coming.
The demon curled his finger against your g-spot, tongue circling your clit, “come for me darling,” his beard was scratching against your sensitive skin. A pornographic moan slipped from your lips as a rush of ecstasy crashed into you, it was all it took for you to have one of the best orgasms you ever had.
“Beautiful, my good girl,” Bucky kissed along your stomache, still keeping his fingers inside you to slowly work your through your orgasm. “Don’t lie to me, did little Andy satisfy you like you needed?” he hovered above you, letting his forehead rest on yours.
“No, no, he was always gentle and-,” “you want it rough huh?” he cut you off with a wicked glint in his eyes. You wouldn’t say it like that, but it never mattered what you did, Andy was always nice and took great care of you. Which of course is good to a certain point, however sometimes when you tried to initiate a rougher approach, it didn’t work. At all.
“Yeah, I mean, I’ve never…,” you mumbled, not knowing what to say to him. Without knowing him for long, you could’ve already guessed Bucky was gentle but had no fears of being rough and pushing you as far as he could.
A slap on your drenched cunt had you gasping, head falling back. “Are you already too fucked out to form logical sentences? One orgasm and you’re gone, what will my thick cock do to your little brain?” he cooed.
Yeah, you could die right on the spot. “Now, say it again,” he whispered, continuing to rub your clit in slow circles. Your brain began working overtime, trying to form a complete sentence to please him, “Yes, I want it-,” you had to take a deep breath as he pressed onto nub as he watched you with anticipation, “rough,” you finished.
It was as if something snapped in Bucky, like a coin dropping. Bucky ripped your bra in two before undressing himself. The sight of him made your mouth water, he may be a demon, but he looked divine.
Your eyes trailed down to his large member, standing proud and the tip hitting his lower stomache. Once he was completely naked, he came back to you, gently taking your ankles.
Thinking he would draw you closer to him, you lifted your hips but instead he roughly flipped you on your stomache. Then let his hands glide to your waist, pulling you against his chest. His body radiated with warmth and his hard cock pressing against your lower back.
“I’ll fill you up so good darling, you will feel me for days,” he promised, fingers pushing in your glistening pussy. “You’re so wet for me,” he pulled his fingers from, holding them up to your mouth, “open,” he commanded, instantly, without thinking you listened.
“Suck, darling,” he added, you followed his order and sucked his fingers clean of your slick. “Tastes good, doesn’t it?” a moan slipped from your lips at his words, you would’ve never thought something like that would turn you on this much.
“Now imagine how good we would taste together,” those were the last words you were able to comprehend before his pushed his leaking tip into your cunt.
A loud gasp sounded through the room, being slightly muffled by Bucky’s fingers. He continued to push further inside you, splitting you open. “Bucky,” you whimpered, holding tightly onto his arm.
“Mhm, I was right, you’re so fucking tight. Feel my thick cock splitting you open?” he growled against the shell of your ear. He continued pushing in, the way he stretched you made you feel a kind of pain you welcomed. Bucky began moving his hips at a slow pace.
You tried focusing on forming words, but your head felt empty, he filled you up too good. A deep chuckle sounded through the room, “can’t believe I already fucked you dumb,” he could believe it. “Fuck, see? This is what happens when you finally get properly fucked.”
“Please, faster,” finally you managed to say something, and it didn’t surprise Bucky, but who was he to deny your wish? His pace became rougher. You never thought a cock was able to make you feel this good, you never came from Andy’s before.
With every thrust he hit your spot, god how much he loved the feeling of you clenching your walls together. When he added his thumb into the play you moaned louder. He loved the sounds he could drive from you.
“Such a dumb little slut, this what you were made for,” lacing his hand around your throat and squeezing it made your walls clench resulting in Bucky groaning deeply.
You felt the need to have Bucky closer, his body flush against your, cock stretching you in ways you never dreamed of and yet he was still so far away. You took his free hand to wrap around your waist, a silent order to press you closer to himself.
“Darling am I not close enough for you?” in a teasing tone, he began pressing small kisses to your neck. His cock hitting deep inside you, watching a belly bulge becoming visible. Why did you try to prevent this moment from happening?
“Fuck best cunt I’ve ever had, I’m gonna come and let you milk my cock till the last drop,” Bucky was close to the edge, it had been too long since last had his cock buried inside anyone. He had masturbated to this thought countless times, but it was better than he could ever imagine.
“Come for me, come for the demon you deem he destroyed your life,” you tightened around him, head falling on his shoulder, “I need more,” you begged, you enjoyed his skilled hands.
The demon smirked, letting go of your neck to rub your clit, then shoved his pointer finger in beside his throbbing cock. In response you moaned loudly, a fully new sensation. “That way we can make sure I won’t slip out,” he chuckled, he wouldn’t have slipped out either way, but he enjoyed seeing your reaction.
“Fucking come for me, I said,” his tone became harsher, more controlling. Bucky curled his finger in rhythm with his hard thrusts. That was it the curling finger, the thumb circling your clit, the way he split you open with his cock.
A pathetic whine left you as you came all over Bucky’s cock, bliss shooting through your veins. “Bucky,” you sighed over and over again, the name music in his ears.
“Good girl, told you, you’d be chanting my name” he praised, his pace becoming uneven as his high neared, “milk every last drop of me or I will paint your pretty face with it and let you walk in front of Andy like that.”
He reached his high head falling in the nape of your neck. You accepted every drop of him like you were told, your hand snaking into his hair to ensure he stayed like this.
As the last drop came from him, he stilled in your cunt. Endorphins jumping through the air, you’ve never been happier and this because of a demon who had threatened to ruin your life, who stole millions of souls.
You didn’t know how to act, all your feeling were over the place. Everything felt right, for just a moment you were able to forget everything that happened.
Softly Bucky moved out of you, drawing a whimper from you, “I know you’re missing me already, but we gotta be careful,” why did we need to be careful? You wanted to questioned him, but then he was gone while you laid on the fluffy covers. It only took a second, then he was back with a wet towel to clean you up. You silently observed him, maybe he was right, maybe you couldn’t see a future with Andy and maybe this was more what you wanted.
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yall know I love my andy, but he's just perfect for this role, and so there he went.... If you liked it, give a reblog and/or feedback!
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yeahxsurexokay13 · 1 month ago
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(not a) you problem, lando norris part two to anything but the truth
summary: another race weekend sponsored by chaos, where lando is not a yn problem anymore but she just can't help herself [influencer!reader]
warnings: HUNGARY 2024 (proceed at your own risk), swearing, hate comments, inaccurate timeline - colapinto's already driving for williams.
a/n: got carried away and there are like two more parts to the story in the end lol. also, 'maia try not to bring up any more footballers challenge' failed (again). oops. hope you enjoy! x
y/n.y/l ✓
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Liked by masonmount, lilyzneimer and 693.812 others
y/n.y/l my not so baby brother turns twenty one today? somehow??? happy birthday, E! love you endlessly. even when you forget to lock the door 🫶🏼🫶🏼
👤 ethan.y/l
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ethan.y/l I'm crying but like in a masculine way. Love you loser ❤️ ♥︎ by author
user8 HBD ETHAN!!! :)
user9 Good to know you're fine after dating someone who's way out of your league lmao
friend1 CRYING. why is he hot now??
y/n.y/l this is my baby brother you're talking about! ew
ethan.y/l bro i'm 21 stop calling me baby on main😐
jasmineharper ✓ that fourth pic 😭 he was so smol
y/n.y/l ✓ and he is a grown man now?? when did that happen??
user4 Birthday twins? My birthday's today too! Happy 21st Ethan 🥳
y/n.y/l ✓no way! happy birthday to you too!!! x
user14 it's the fact that he's 5 years younger and still looks older than you for me ♥︎ by author
user13 that's younger siblings for you lmao
user11 wonder how long it'll be before she's dating someone new to stay relevant
user55 i mean... @/masonmount in the likes all of a sudden..
user 63 i'm sobbing over slide 1 🥺 siblings that love each other hit diff
user1 "even when you forget to lock the door" is so. real.
user44 SLIDE 4 😭😭😭 the grip she had on that baby lmao
friend2 tell him to stop growing. it's weird. ♥︎ by author
user13 Cute pics but not buying the whole 'over it' vibe…
user81 do u guys think lando wished him a happy birthday?
alexandrasaintmleux ✓ Cutiessss 🩷 Happy bday to the coolest younger brother ever
y/n.y/l ✓ 💞💞💞
15 July 2024
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landonorris ✓
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Liked by quadrant, riabish and 882.980 others
landonorris Pole and P2 for Osc. Babaoooom
view all 2.210 comments
lnfour ✓ LETS GET ITTTT
user1 so happy for you both🧡🧡
user8 maybe the breakup was the best thing for him? lol looking strong this weekend 💪
user2 that helmet deserves nothing but the top step!!!
user3 p1 and looking better than ever. LFG!!
user10 'Babaoooom' was very george russell of you mr. norris
monsterenergy ✓ The boys 🔥
user9 no more distractions, just pure focus. u love to see it🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️
user4 one step closer to the champagne pop 🙏🏻 lfgggg
user5 can you keep that helmet design forever pretty please (i am begging)
user6 manifesting a mclaren 1-2 tomorrow‼️‼️
user7 let's gooooooo lando
20 July 2024
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next part
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
taglist: @sarx164 @willowpains @n3versatisfied @verogonewild @addzlibs @knivesdoingcartwheels @sky--wzlker @sheslikeacurse
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pigfacedbitch · 3 months ago
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Second to None
summary : you may be Percy's girlfriend, but not his first choice.
word count : 0.9k
type : imagines
pairing/s : Percy Jackson x Annabeth Chase, Percy Jackson x Daughter of Hades! Reader
warning/s: angst lol, and a little cliche. never settle for fucking less, guys.
here's my masterlist! along with Part 2.
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Note : I'm not against Percabeth, just so you know. Or Annabeth, I think she's a badass. I just thought of this and I was like "Damn, did I just hurt myself?" Blue aesthetic since the color represents sadness.
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You knew what you were signing up for when Percy Jackson asked you out.
You fell in love with him despite knowing the risks.
The constant danger, the relentless quests, the whispered rumors, the pointed stares whenever you were together— none of it was enough to scare you away. He was the great hero of Olympus, the son of Poseidon who had saved the world twice and continued to do so. Of course, people talked.
And you could handle all of it.
All of it— except one thing.
Annabeth Chase.
You were new to Camp Half-Blood, but not naïve.
You knew, the moment you agreed to be his, that you were stepping into a love story written long before you came along. You weren’t a new chapter. You were just a footnote, scribbled in the margins, fighting for space in a tale that was never yours to begin with.
Even your own brother, Nico di Angelo, had warned you. Everyone did.
They had seen Percy and Annabeth’s story unfold— the rivals turned partners, the friends turned lovers, the two who walked through literal hell together and survived. The kind of love even the gods envied.
"It will only end in heartbreak."
But you ignored them all. Because when Percy pulled you into a fierce kiss after winning a game, when he whispered sweet nothings as you lay beside him, when he held you like you were the most precious thing in the world— it was easy to pretend.
Pretend you didn’t notice the silver owl pendant he kept hidden under his shirt.
Pretend you didn’t see the way his sea-green eyes softened at the mere mention of her name.
Pretend you didn’t feel the hesitation in his touch whenever she was near, or the way he always seemed to be waiting— for something, or someone.
Forget that you were never meant to be his forever. That you were just the one keeping his heart warm until she wanted it back.
And yet, you knew Percy loved you. Maybe not in the way he loves her, maybe not in the way you deserve, but in the only way he knew how.
You never doubted your own worth before. You were the daughter of Hades, powerful in your own right, admired, desired. But with Percy, doubt bloomed inside you like a slow-growing poison.
And you loathed it.
Loving Percy Jackson is your greatest blessing. And your greatest curse.
Annabeth never tried to take him back— not outright.
She didn’t need to.
She moved like the strategist she was— calculated, deliberate, patient. Weaving herself into his life in ways you couldn’t contest.
Inside jokes only they understood.
Touches that lingered just a second too long.
Shared memories and unfinished dreams that whispered, This isn’t over.
She never crossed a line.
She never had to.
Because she was Annabeth Chase. His first love. His best friend. The one who had built a world with him long before you ever arrived.
You were the outsider.
Because Annabeth never really lost Percy.
She had simply let go.
And Percy? He had never truly moved on.
So, you waited for the inevitable. Like an inmate on death row, counting down the days.
Maybe you were still hoping. Hoping he’d look at you and finally see you, not her shadow. Hoping he’d realize that you were the one here, standing beside him, loving him— not better, but differently.
Or maybe you were just a fool who enjoyed her own suffering.
Or an addict who couldn’t let go of her drug, even as it destroyed her.
Then one night, walking through the woods, finding solace in the quiet and darkness, you heard them.
Percy and Annabeth. Sitting on a log beneath the stars, wrapped in the weight of a history you could never rewrite.
"Do you ever think of what could’ve been?" She whispered.
Your breath caught in your throat.
"All the time." Percy admitted, after a long silence. "Annabeth, you know I’ll always—"
She moved closer. Too close. Her fingers brushed against his wrist, and you felt the chill of inevitability run down your spine.
"If I asked for a second chance..." She breathed. "Would you give it?"
You braced for the pain of hearing him say yes, for the final dagger to be driven into your heart.
But he hesitated.
Perseus Jackson, who never think twice in the face of death, hesitated.
Annabeth didn’t.
Before he could answer, she leaned in, claiming a kiss that had always been hers. Her arms wrapped around his neck like they belonged there.
"Choose me, Percy." She whispered against his lips. "You know it’s always been me. Be with me again."
You turned away before he could kiss her back.
You didn’t need to hear his answer.
You already knew it.
Shadow-traveling to your cabin, you threw a few things into a bag. Nico wasn’t there— probably off with Will— and you were grateful. You weren’t in the mood for questions.
You couldn’t stay long enough for Percy to look at you with guilt-ridden eyes and tell you what you already know.
So you left a note on his nightstand.
"I wish you and Annabeth the best. Don’t let her go this time."
Some might call you a coward for walking away.
But you didn’t care.
Percy had made his choice.
And now, you had made yours.
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clanwarrior-tumbly · 3 months ago
Note
Since Dream BBQ released I got an idea. Can you do Meanie!ENA x Shy!Fem! Reader where reader is from the human world and works as ENA's salespartner. You can also add teasing/limes if you'd like.
Yay! First Ena request since 2021 (I think lol)
I'll leave out the last part so this is completely sfw
....................
"You know, I'm still impressed that you could understand all these people. Are language barriers just...nonexistent here?"
"Barriers? What a silly prospect, dearest." Ena chuckled as she looked at the list of jobs you were both assigned to carry out. "Let's proceed onwards. Everything we do will bring us one step closer to--turning off that goddamn smoke and giving the Boss a piece of my mind!!"
"Wah!" You jumped back in fright as her "meanie" side started yelling out of the blue, crushing the paper in her grasp.
Having known her for so long, you should be used to this being a daily occurrence...yet somehow she never fails to startle you.
"Did you forget the mission?! This isn't a date!! Put those squishy eyes to work and start looking for that last pet...or baby..or..or whatever!!"
"...y-yes ma'am." Sighing, you tried to shake off your nerves and search for the final trail of blood, not wanting to get her any angrier.
You weren't sure how you winded up together, or how you even got thrown into this strange world in the first place, but Ena was the first to find you. She dragged you into her "business", where you also met Froggy and learned more about what they did.
While you didn't fully understand everything, you knew this much: you've been going around doing favors for people who, for some reason, despised Ena's species. Even if you didn't know what they were saying, their general attitude towards her implies that she did something really, really terrible...or they could be mistaking another Ena's actions for hers.
But you didn't know anything about her past, nor what her kind might've did except exist, though it was through your intervention alone that helped most clients to calm down.
Sometimes, it was difficult for you to speak up given your shy demeanor, which hasn't quite left your personality even now. Although with time it got easier, and Ena helped you come out of that shell more and more.
Of course, you made sure clients fully paid you both for your services--but instead of using cash like you expected, the popular currency here was apparently "chocolates". They were edible, although Ena advised you to hold onto them.
So this was pretty much your new life, and somewhere down the line she became your girlfriend. Her "Salesperson" side loved you dearly and made sure you didn't put yourself in any danger, often speaking on your behalf.
The only problem was getting along with her Meanie side to where her outbursts didn't scare you anymore, and perhaps...you could uncover that bit of softness hiding behind her rough exterior.
That became your mission, and you hoped to make at least a little bit of progress if you're going through all of this trouble to find the Genies and convince them to clear the smoke.
After finding the last pet and bringing it back to Shoryo, you received a handful of chocolates. It was then you realized you've lost track of Ena and searched around the land, eventually finding her near the bridge.
A ratlike person was seemingly guarding it, hoarding different things and looking very alarmed at her presence.
He began yelling in Italian, stomping around and flailing his arms about until suddenly--
He collapsed, fainting much like a goat would when startled. But he stopped moving entirely, and Ena just stared down at him.
"What the hell? I was gone for five minutes!" Mortified, you rushed over and kneeled down. "Sir, can you hear me? Are you-?"
"Don't even tell me you were gonna say "alright". What does it look like?!"
"We have to help him, Ena." Looking up, you saw Meanie's expression remain unchanged, and you sighed. "Please. I know the lost witch probably went over this bridge, but..it feels wrong to cross without his permission."
"....."
"Pretty please?"
"....ugh fine. Let me at him." With a huff, she urged you to move aside while she somehow magically revived the hoarder, who seldom thanked you both and apologized for his outburst.
The stresses of his work were creeping up on him, and apparently he was growing paranoid of the purple villager who stood on a nearby decrepit building, convinced they were scheming to take his "property".
So he tasked--or demanded, rather--that you covered their eyes with something.
Eventually, your aimless wandering led you to a small green alien who was trapped within a bubblegum vending machine with three legs. They were eager to sell you products, but after recognizing Ena, they seemed frightened and insisted they couldn't sell anything to her.
"Okay, now you're being ridiculous." You frowned. "You have something we want, and we're trying to-"
"Guys, guys! Wait!!"
Turning to your girlfriend, you could see Meanie's eyes growing wide--as though she was terrified of something. Her head was spinning, her limbs discombobulating.
It was unlike anything you've seen before. "Ena..?"
"I'M NOT DOING WHAT YOU SAY I'M DOING!!" She yelled out. "I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING!! I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING AT ALL-!"
"Ena! Hey. Hey."
Feeling hands on her shoulders, she suddenly looked at you. Her eyes were still wide, but she had seemingly returned to reality as she calmed down. "[Y/n]?"
"Yeah, it's me." You reassured, moving to take her shaking hands into yours. "You're alright. I believe you."
"........"
Somehow, the vending machine alien was moved by your words, and allowed her to buy one thing and one thing only: mayonnaise that was apparently good for the eyes, but you both knew what to do with it.
Before setting off to complete the hoarder's request, you wandered around a bit to see if anybody else needed help.
But you kept thinking back to Ena's apparent panic attack and stopped for a moment, clearing your throat. "So...um-"
"You heard nothing."
"....did you even know what I was gonna-?"
"Don't back-sass me, sweetheart!" She spun around to face you angrily, fists shaking. "You wanna walk the road alone?!"
"No." You put your hands up in defense. "I'd....much rather walk it with you. Wherever it might lead us, I hope we can face it together."
Meanie blinked, surprised by your words. They sounded so sweet, so endearing...and it made a slight blush rise to that specific side of her face. "Ugh....y-you're lucky you're cute." She grumbled, handing you the paper. "Let's just go find that bug-eyed moron and be done with this."
"Alright." Nodding, you led the way, although occasionally you'd glance back at your girlfriend to see her geometric claws trying to cover up the blush--to no avail. You smiled sweetly, and she just stared at you, the burning sensation getting worse. "You know, you're not too bad, Meanie."
"What did you do to me? Why does my face feel like it's on fire??"
"It's called "being bashful", honey. Humans feel that sometimes, especially around the person they love." You winked.
She just mumbled something unintelligible, her hat hiding her eyes from you, but you both kept continuing forward.
'Huh, there's a way to crack through that exterior after all..'
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alygator77 · 11 months ago
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.ೃ࿐motherhood and matrimony I ch 2 𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪
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ꨄ︎ pairing. au ceo! satoru gojo x single mom secretary fem! reader
ꨄ summary. satoru gojo, the arrogant and irresistible heir to a billion-dollar corporation and the son of your boss, the ceo... but when satoru’s father dies unexpectedly, his inheritance hinges on a stipulation: he must marry and have a child, but the child doesn't necessarily have to be his, right? together, you strike a deal: a fake marriage that promises financial stability for you and corporate control for him. as the lines between business and emotion blur, you must decide if your partnership is purely contractual or if it could evolve into something real.
ꨄ︎ warnings/tags. 18+ MDNI, nsfw, enemies (annoyances) to lovers, opposites attract, fake marriage, marriage of convenience, slow burn, smut, fluff, some angst, reader is single mom who recently broke off her engagement, satoru being a cute step dad, naoya is your crappy ex, triggers of prior domestic abuse (physical intimidation, emotional manipulation, from naoya)
ꨄ words: 12.5k
ꨄ a/n. firstly, wow thank you so much for all your kind words on ch 1 :") secondly, this series may be more than 3 chapters (maybe more like 4 or 5? - future aly here, lol what a joke. i thought this was going to be 3 chapters) idk i'm still working out the pacing rn bc i really want the relationship to feel fluid and natural. this chapter ended up being much longer than i anticipated 😅 but as always, i would love to hear your thoughts and hope you enjoy ♡
ꨄ taglist: open (ao3)
♬ playlist
series masterlist ꨄ︎ previous chapter ꨄ︎ next chapter →
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ch 2 // under the spotlight
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Becoming a mother makes you realize you can do almost anything one-handed—though honestly, sometimes you wish you had an abundance of limbs.  
Especially now. Your apartment is a whirlwind of activity – scattered toys, half packed bags and the remnants of breakfast still on the table. You’re in the middle of prepping your daughter’s essentials, trying to make sure you don’t forget anything important. Her preferred snacks, extra clothes, diapers, and a few of her favorite toys all stuffed into a bag.
“Mama, mama, look!”
Haru’s innocent voice rings out like a melody amidst your morning clamor. Halting your frantic movements, you’re drawn to her face, lit up with pure joy as she holds up her beloved Pikachu plushie. The bright yellow toy bounces in her hands as she makes it dance.
Her innocence provides a brief, much-needed, calm to the storm of nerves brewing inside of you. After all, today’s the day you’re meeting with Satoru and his lawyer to finalize the marriage contract. Your marriage—weird.
It feels odd saying it, the word foreign on your tongue. Marriage is a concept you never thought you’d be rushing into, especially not like this.
Once upon a time, you thought you’d marry Naoya Zenin.
Back then, you were so in love with his charm, his confidence, and the way he seemed to have everything figured out. But reality had a way of shattering those illusions.
His charm turned to arrogance, his confidence to control. It wasn’t long before you realized he cared more about owning you than loving you, and now you’re left with nothing but heartache and a broken family.
But amidst your turmoil you found a precious gift—Haru.
Her infectious giggle is a stark contrast to the chaos within your mind—it always manages to pull you back from your whirlwind of worries.
You’ll do anything in your power to keep her smiling, even if that means marrying Satoru Gojo, the man who is guilty for an abundance of your headaches.
With a deep breath, you zip up your duffle bag and turn to Haru who is lovably babbling to Pikachu.
“Come here, sweetie,” you say, kneeling down with her small jacket in your hand.
She toddles over to you, clutching her comforting plushie, eyes wide and curious.
Easing her tiny arms into the sleeves, you gently help Haru into her jacket.
“We’re going to meet some new friends today,” you tell her softly, fastening the buttons with care. “One of them is named Mr. Gojo.”
“Mr. Gojo?” she echoes, face scrunching up in concentration.
Truth be told, you weren't planning on bringing Haru to this meeting, but you’re faced with a lack of options, especially since technically, you’re fired.
Well… temporarily.
Until Satoru rehires you, paying the nanny isn’t feasible with your already stretched finances, Utahime, your ever-reliable friend, is unavailable. Your neighbor, who sometimes steps in to help, is out of town, and your mom is… your mom – as undependable as ever.
At this point you'd rather be caught dead than call Naoya again.
Calling him yesterday, when your nanny bailed, was a moment of pure desperation, a lapse in judgment driven by the chaos of the day and the fear of getting fired. Not your proudest moment.
It’s no surprise he’ll likely use it against you—hold it over your head like a weapon. It’s a pattern you’re all too familiar with.
But today marks the beginning of a new chapter, one that you’re determined to make the best of for both you and your daughter—once this marriage is finalized, you’ll be back to earning a steady income again.
A sigh escapes your lips as you focus back on Haru, her innocent eyes look up at you expectantly.
“Yes, Mr. Gojo,” you repeat, giving her a reassuring smile as you reach down to tie her shoelaces. “We’re going on an adventure today, just you and Mommy.”
“An adventure!” Haru cheers, clapping her hands in unbridled excitement.
Just as you pull the last loop tight, a knock reverberates through the front door, startling you. It’s unexpected, you weren’t anticipating any visitors.
With a deep breath, you twist the handle and pull the door open. The sight that greets you sends a cold wave of dread crashing over you, your heart pounding in your chest.
Speak of the devil—Naoya.
He has an uncanny knack for impeccable timing, always appearing when he’s least wanted.
His presence is as imposing as ever—a smirk crowned on his lips, posture relaxed, hands in his pockets—exuding an air of ownership over everything that’s around him.
As if he owns you.
Damn it. You really can’t deal with this right now; you don’t have the time. Satoru is expecting you, and you need to get moving.
Leaning nonchalantly against the doorframe, he surveys you with that annoyingly smug expression plastered upon his face.
"Well, well, if it isn't my two favorite girls," he drawls, sarcasm dripping from his voice.
The frustration you feel from Naoya is vastly different from what you experience with Satoru. With Satoru, it's harmless—like dealing with a mischievous child. But with Naoya, every sight of him makes you want to flee, as if each encounter is a battle you barely survive. He reopens old wounds that never truly healed, leaving you raw and exposed.
Every fiber of your being screams in protest at the sight of him, but you force yourself to maintain composure—refusing to let him see the effect he has on you.
"What do you want, Naoya? I really don’t have time for this today."
Turning away from him, you begin gathering the last of Haru’s things with brisk, precise movements, making it clear you have no intention of prolonging this interaction.
He steps inside, smirk widening with satisfaction and tone laced with mock concern.
"Just thought I'd drop by and see how you're managing. Got your message. Heard you were looking for a babysitter yesterday.”
As expected—you’re really kicking yourself for calling him. His false sympathy only heightens your irritation, grating on your nerves as the condescension drips from his words like venom.
If you weren’t already leaving, you would slam the door right in his smug face.
Gritting your teeth, you attempt to keep your tone steady, for no one other than Haru.
"We're fine, Naoya. We don’t need your help."
In hopes to end this conversation quickly, you grasp Haru’s hand and attempt to brush past him. But he sidesteps, effectively forbidding your path to the door, looming like an unwanted shadow.
"Still as stubborn as ever, I see. How’s that working out for you?” he scowls as he peers through your apartment, “This place is a mess. And you don’t look like you’re dressed for work. Lost your job already?”
His words hit a nerve, you feel your cheeks flush with a mixture of anger and embarrassment.
"We are managing just fine. Now, if you'll excuse us, we have somewhere to be."
But he wasn’t going to let you go so easily. His expression darkens, and as you repeatedly try to step past him, he halts you yet again, blocking your way like an insurmountable wall.
"And where exactly are you going? Shouldn't you be at work today?"
"That's none of your business. I really need to go," you retort, lifting your chin assertively as you force your way past him. Your shoulder brushes against his in a deliberate act of defiance.
The moment you cast him aside, he immediately pursues after—but choosing to ignore him, you close the door behind you, turning the lock with a decisive click.
As you start leading Haru towards the elevator, you adopt a brisk pace in hopes to put as much distance between you and Naoya as possible.
But he raises an eyebrow, smirk widening as he traverses after you. You hear his footsteps echoing down the hallway of your apartment complex.
"Oh, I think it is my business. Especially when it concerns my daughter."
Oh, please.
It’s painfully ironic how he pretends to care about Haru only when it suits him.
After you served him child support papers, he had the audacity to demand a DNA test, claiming he needed ‘proof’ that Haru was his. Of course, something like that takes time for the judge to arrange.
He knew that damn well—it was just another ploy to delay the process further.
As anger bubbles up within you, a scoff escapes your lips, teetering on the edge of a bitter laugh.
"Oh, so she’s yours when it’s convenient for you. Don't pretend you care about Haru now. You’ve done nothing but make our lives difficult."
Your movements are sharp and frantic until you finally halt in front of the elevator. Just as you press the button to descend, Naoya’s presence descends over you—suffocating like a dark cloud, his face twisting into a menacing scowl.
"Maybe if you weren’t so damn stubborn, things wouldn’t be so difficult. You know, if you ever need help, all you have to do is ask," the insincerity in his voice makes your skin crawl—as his words slither into your ears, each syllable is laced with a condescending edge.
You scoff, jabbing the button over and over again with mounting urgency. Can this damn elevator come any faster?
"Help? From you? I'd rather figure things out on my own than rely on your 'help'."
He steps closer, making you feel small and cornered. It’s a familiar tactic he would use to get his way—the accustomed sense of intimidation he used to exert over you returns, chilling your spine.
"Suit yourself. Just remember, you can’t keep this up forever. Sooner or later, you’ll realize you need me again,” his voice drops to a low, threatening whisper, the underlying menace making it clear that he relishes the control he still believes he has over you.
Suddenly, you feel small tiny hands gripping tightly onto your leg. Haru’s wide eyes dart between the two of you, her innocent face reflecting a nervous unease that she can’t fully understand—but you do.
Fuck it. Enough is enough. You can't let this continue any longer—screw the elevator.
With a determined breath, you scoop Haru into your arms, feeling her trembling slightly against you. "Come on, sweetie," you say softly.
Her tiny heart beats against your chest, mirroring your own anxiety. Holding her close, you immediately head towards the stairway, your stride quickening.
But Naoya's presence lingers, his footsteps echoing ominously after you.
“Really, Naoya?”
Oh, this is it. Your patience is wearing thin—he’s like a growth you can’t get rid of.
You feel Haru’s grip tighten around your neck as she buries her face into your shoulder. You have been trying desperately not to yell, for Haru’s sake, but at this point, Naoya is overstepping your boundaries.
“Just go away. The only thing I need from you is to hurry up and finish that damn DNA test,” you shout, refusing to look back as you head towards the stairs. “There was no reason for that bullshit; you know Haru is yours. I know you’re just trying to stall our court date,” you snap, your voice trembling with frustration and anger.
Naoya’s eyes gleam with a cold amusement, and the corners of his mouth curl up into a mocking smile.
"Stalling? Hardly. You’re insane, I just want to be thorough. You should understand that, being so meticulous yourself," he sneers, tone derisively sweet.
Finally, you reach the stairway—beginning your descent, Haru clings tightly to you as Pikachu dangles precariously from each hurried step.
"This conversation is over, Naoya,” your voice echoes in the narrow space. “Stay out of our lives. I only want to see you in court."
Naoya contemplates following you, lowering himself a few steps before abruptly stopping. As his voice reverberates through the stairwell, his unsettling demand bounces off the cold concrete walls, chilling you to your core.
"For now, y/n. But remember, this isn’t over. Not by a long shot. You always come crawling back to me one way or another. You’re incapable of anything without me."
There was a time when you believed those words, but you will not fall back into that same vicious cycle.
Choosing not to respond, your resolve is sharpened with one clear goal, getting Haru and yourself out of this building as quickly as possible.
The moment you clear through the lobby door, a shaky sigh escapes your lips. This day is already starting off with a bang—hopefully it goes much better at Satoru’s.
Forcing a smile for your frightened daughter, you try to mask the tears welling up in your eyes—the tremor in your voice quaking.
“Come on honey, let’s go meet Mr. Gojo.”
Time to get this marriage finalized.
ꨄ︎
You had expectations of what Satoru’s house would be like, but even those couldn’t hold a light to the real thing—it’s a stark contrast to the modest apartment you call home.
The meticulously manicured lawn, the pristine arcadian, and the large, ornate door all showcase opulence.
It’s far more luxurious than you had imagined, making you feel distinctly out of place as you step out of your car in your worn jeans and t-shirt, hair pulled up in a lazy bun.
Wait…should you have come dressed businesslike?
But you have Haru—was this supposed to be a professional meeting? Fuck.
On top of everything else, you’re already a few minutes late. Tardiness has become a tiresome trend in your life, one that exhausts you to your very core.
Traversing the entryway, Haru grips your hand tightly as you walk through the stone pathway. Her fingers tremble slightly, perhaps from the unsettling encounter with Naoya, or perhaps from the overwhelming new environment.
Nerves simmer through you once you approach the doorway, but you resolve to mask them. You weren’t going to let Naoya ruin your day—this meeting is your chance to retake control of your life.
As you reach out and press the doorbell, a soft melodic chime resonates, echoing through the spacious foyer beyond.
Within moments, the door swings open, revealing Satoru.
You immediately feel a sense of relief as you observe him dressed surprisingly casual—a fitted blue t-shirt that accentuates his broad shoulders and lean frame, paired with dark jeans that hug his long legs. His snowy hair remains tousled in that effortlessly stylish way, framing his strikingly handsome face.
It’s impossible to advert your eyes as he greets you with that familiarly confident smile curling upon his lips, and those vivid blue eyes, enchanting you with an intriguing glint.
“Hm, late again, I see,” Satoru teases, dramatically placing a hand over his heart as if wounded with an exaggerated sigh. “I was starting to worry you wouldn’t show up. Here I was, thinking you might divorce me before we even get married—” he stops, lifting his brow as his gaze shifts to the small figure peeking out from behind your legs.
“Well, well, and who is this?”
Haru’s wide eyes are filled with curiosity and apprehension. She peeps out nervously, clutching her plushie’s worn, familiar fabric for comfort.
Satoru’s smile softens as he looks at the little girl, but a twinge of uncertainty tugs at him internally. Children were a mystery to him, their emotions and reactions unpredictable.
What should he say? How should he act?
A flicker of fear crosses his mind—what if he says the wrong thing and makes her cry?
Oh God…
The thought of dealing with a child's tears makes him feel out of his depth, a sensation he’s not accustomed to. Satoru finds himself in unfamiliar territory. He’s used to commanding rooms and negotiating high-stake deals, not interacting with shy children clutching stuffed toys.
But faking confidence has always worked in the business world, and he is determined to make a good impression now.
As you notice Haru’s uncertainty, you gently caress her head, delicately coaxing her out from behind your legs.
"It’s okay, sweetie. This is Mr. Gojo, can you say hi?"
There is an air about you—the gentle ease in your voice, the way you instinctively know how to comfort Haru. It stirs something within Satoru, something he can’t quite place.
All he knows it that now he really doesn’t want to fuck this up.
"I’m really sorry for bringing her along," you begin, tone earnest as you meet Satoru with an apologetic gaze. "I hope it’s okay. I just didn’t have anyone who could watch her today. But she’ll keep to herself during our meeting, I promise."
Satoru’s expression softens further as he looks at Haru, his uncertainty momentarily forgotten. She is so fragile, so docile. In her delicate features, he sees an uncanny resemblance to you—a small reflection of your strength and vulnerability intertwined.
“Oh, it’s no problem at all,” he reassures softly. Crouching down to her level, his toothy smile is warm and inviting. “Hi there, I’m Satoru. What’s your name?”
Haru looks up at you for reassurance, her small hand tightening around your leg. Encouraged by your nod, she turns back to Satoru and whispers tentatively—
“Haru.”
Satoru grins, captivated by the softness and delicacy of Haru's voice. Though he is uncertain how to connect with a child. His mind races—
What do kids like?
What should he say next?
While his thoughts scramble, a spark of an idea forms the moment he observes Haru clutching Pikachu.
“Nice to meet you, Haru. Do you like Pokémon?”
Haru nods, her grip on the plushie relaxing slightly. There is a subtle warmth behind the apprehension in her eyes as she holds up her Pikachu toy to show Satoru.
“Yes, Pikachu.”
“Pikachu is pretty cool,” he lets out a contemplative hum as he tries to find common ground. A faint nostalgic smile plays on his features. “But you know, Digimon is even better. Have you ever heard of Agumon?”
Haru’s eyes widen with curiosity as she shakes her head, her interest clearly piqued.
Satoru’s inner child shines through—eyes sparkling with a genuine enthusiasm as his lips curl up into a grin. This is his chance to bridge the gap between them.
“Tell ya what, maybe we can watch some Digimon together sometime. How’s that sound?”
You feel Haru’s grip loosen on your leg. A faint smile touches her lips and a quiet giggle escapes as her initial shyness begins to slowly fade.
“Okay.”
There are many thoughts that come to your mind as you watch this interaction play out—the foremost being how unexpectedly gentle Satoru can be with kids. Something about him, that overconfident and sometimes arrogant man you’ve worked beside, feels different now. Almost likable.
Charming, even
But what you really can’t fathom the most is the image of a sophisticated billionaire engrossed in a kids’ cartoon. That concept alone is enough to make you suppress a laugh.
“You’re a fan of Digimon?” you raise an eyebrow.
Satoru stands up, brushing off his knees with a nonchalant shrug and a crooked smile.
“I used to watch it all the time growing up. Please, come in,” he ushers you inside the building, leading you down the grand hall.
Your breath hitches at the sight of the expansive foyer. The high ceiling, polished marble floors, and impressive chandelier casting a warm glow leave you speechless.
Following behind him, you find yourself studying Satoru’s confident strides—the movement of his back, his broad shoulders and the effortless air of authority he exudes. It’s a stark contrast to what you just witnessed moments ago with Haru.
But that alone makes him even more intriguing to you. Satoru can feel a bit like a wild card. Glimpses of tenderness hidden behind feigned aloofness—subtle playfulness followed by an exacting seriousness.
He keeps surprising you.
“I wouldn’t have pegged you for a Digimon fan,” you remark as you follow behind him.
Satoru chuckles, scratching the back of his head.
“Guilty as charged.”
You can’t help but notice the way he avoids your gaze—is he perhaps being… bashful?
Oh, this is rich.
You really would need an abundance of limbs to count on your hands the amount of times Satoru has given you shit—making your life a daily torture is his specialty after all. Perhaps that is why you couldn’t resist letting this opportunity pass up.
“Next thing you’ll tell me is that you have a secret stash of Digimon cards somewhere,” you snort.
Satoru lets out a contemplative hum.
“Well, I did have a pretty impressive collection back in the day. Who knows, maybe I still have them tucked away in a drawer somewhere.”
“Seriously?” you are unable to hide the amusement in your voice. “You, with a collection of Digimon cards? That’s something I’d pay to see.”
He rolls his eyes with a pout tugging on his lips.
“You’re enjoying this too much. Maybe I’ll dig them out for you one day. But only if you’re nice.”
You scoff, shaking your head in disbelief.
“Me, nice to you? That’s a tall order.”
A faint chuckle leaves Satoru’s lips as the spacious foyer transitions into a grand hallway. Haru skips beside you, glancing up at Satoru with a newfound admiration.
The moment you reach a large set of intricately carved wooden doors, he pauses, turning to you with a reassuring smile before pushing them open.
Inside, a cozy yet sophisticated study awaits—shelves lined with books and a large mahogany desk dominating the room.
“Yo, Suguru,” he waves flippantly, “this is y/n and her daughter, Haru.”
Your eyes are met with a man seated behind the desk—a calm and composed air about him. He is strikingly beautiful, raven hair tied back into a bun with louse tousles framing his face. As he looks up from a stack of papers, his sharp yet gentle eyes focus on you and Haru. He rises, extending a hand with a polite smile.
“Pleasure to meet you both. I’m Suguru Geto.”
“Nice to meet you as well,” you shake his hand with a subtle nod.
The presence of another stranger causes Haru’s shyness to return as she hides behind your legs again—you kneel down, smoothing her hair gently.
“Haru,” you pull out a small bag of her favorite toys from your duffle bag, “why don’t you take a seat over there and play with your toys while Mommy talks with Mr. Gojo and Mr. Geto?”
With a light nod, Haru takes the bag and settles into a comfortable armchair in the corner of the room—spreading out her treasures with a look of concentration.
You take a seat across from Suguru, with Satoru sinking into the chair beside you—posture relaxed and seemingly indifferent.
“Alright, let’s get down to business,” Suguru leans forward, “I’ve drafted the marriage contract based on the discussions I’ve had with Satoru. I’ll walk you through the main points.”
Referencing the document upon the desk, he begins.
“Firstly, as you both know, the purpose of this marriage is strictly business-related with no romantic implications. Both parties agree to maintain the appearance of a committed relationship in public and professional settings.”
Okay, easy—right?
You nod, but in the corner of your eye you can see Satoru lounging back in his chair. The mild disinterest on his face and the nonchalant way he twirls a pen between his fingers makes you grit your teeth.
He carries a casual attitude—one you shouldn’t be surprised with at this point because it’s the same infuriating aura he brings to every business meeting. But in this case, it’s a stark contrast to the gravity of this conversation. Here you are, discussing marriage and he’s sitting here as if you’re determining what to eat for lunch.
Yup, nothing’s changed. He still aggravates the hell out of you.
“Next, the duration of the marriage is set for one year, starting from the date of signing,” Suguru continues. “There are provisions for extending or terminating the marriage early, should both parties agree.”
You absorb every word as you listen intently, but Satoru seems to be in his own world. It takes all your self-control not to roll your eyes as you catch him leaning back further into his chair, now balancing it on two legs. He taps his pen against his lip thoughtfully—an indifferent expression plastered across his face.
Is he even listening?
Here you are, about to commit to a fake marriage for the sake of your job and your daughter, and Satoru looks like a bored child.
You shoot him a sideways glance, silently willing him to take this more seriously, but the moment he catches your eye he simply offers a lazy wink, making your blood boil even more.
Suguru, unfazed by Satoru's demeanor, continues outlining the contract.
“The financial arrangements are next…Satoru will include a monthly allowance to you, y/n, to cover personal and household expenses. Both parties will maintain separate bank accounts, and any joint financial decisions require mutual consent.”
You blink in surprise. A monthly allowance?
Though you had asked Satoru to cover child care, you weren’t expecting this level of financial support. Isn’t that a bit excessive?
“Wait, what?” you blurt out, unable to hide your astonishment. “A monthly allowance? For personal and household expenses?”
Satoru’s chair drops back onto all four legs with a soft thud as he leans forward, finally showing a hint of interest. He raises an eyebrow at your reaction, a lazy smile curling his lips.
“We wouldn’t want you or Haru to struggle, now, would we?”
His words sound almost considerate, but it’s the casual way he says them that makes you question his sincerity.
“Some might see you being my secretary as a conflict of interest now. You’ll still work beside me, but I can’t give you a formal salary for that role. Doing it this way ensures that all you have to worry about is playing your part. Besides,” he adds, a hint of amusement creeping back into his voice, “what kind of husband would I be if I didn’t support my wife?”
Raising an eyebrow, you shoot him a wary look, trying to gauge his true intentions. It makes sense… but is he mocking you, or is this his way of showing genuine concern? With Satoru, it’s always hard to tell.
Suguru clears his throat, drawing your attention back to the contract.
“Moving on to the living arrangements, you will both reside in the marital home here.”
Satoru interrupts, tone almost too nonchalant as he leans back in his chair and lazily stretches, “I’ve already arranged for a moving company to pack your things in a few days. They’ll handle everything.”
You blink, the suddenness of it all sinking in.
“Huh?”
“Problem, sweetheart?”
“I... I didn’t realize I’d be moving in so… soon. What about my apartment? I have a lease, and breaking it will incur a penalty.”
He waves off your concern with a dismissive hand, leaning back further with hands casually behind his head.
“I’ll pay it. Consider it handled. No point in you staying there when you’re supposed to be living here.”
Your eyes widen, taken aback by his insouciant dismissal of what, to you, is a significant expense.
“You’re sure?”
“Of course. We need to make this look legitimate, and that means living together. Consider it part of the arrangement.”
To him, solving problems with money seamed effortless.
To you, this isn’t just a contract; it’s a complete upheaval of your life.
You’re starting to really feel the difference in your two worlds.
The abruptness is a bit overwhelming, and yet, Satoru seems to handle it with the same ease he applies to all his business dealings.
It’s a bit unnerving. It’s not that you aren’t grateful, but you can’t help but wonder…does he pity you? See you as a charity act?
Suguru, sensing your hesitation, interjects your thoughts with a soothing tone,
“It’s important for appearances that you both share a residence. It solidifies the arrangement in the eyes of your colleagues and the public.”
You take a deep breath, nodding again. “Right, I understand.”
Suguru nods, making a note on the document.
“Good. Now, let’s move on to the responsibilities and obligations. You’re both expected to attend public and social functions, maintaining the façade of a loving marriage.”
Satoru who still remains leaned in his chair, now has his head tilted back, looking up towards the ceiling.
"Oh, and by the way," he begins, eyes flicking to you while his posture remains unmoved, "we'll be getting married at the courthouse tomorrow to make things official on paper. Our public ceremony will be a grand affair, but it will come later to keep the media satisfied and appease everyone."
Tomorrow?
You give a hesitant nod, absorbing the rapid pace at which your life is changing.
“Alright…tomorrow.”
Suguru flips to the next page, “In terms of termination, either party can initiate it with a 30-day notice. Grounds for early termination include breach of contract or mutual consent. Upon termination, Satoru will provide a one-time settlement payment to you, y/n.”
You blink as Suguru pushes the contract towards you, the settlement amount highlighted in bold. Did Satoru add a few extra zeros by mistake? That number can’t be correct, right?
You glance up at Satoru, who is now inspecting his nails with a look of utter boredom.
“Is this…correct?” you ask, voice barely above a whisper.
Satoru looks up, meeting your eyes with a casual shrug.
“Yeah, it’s correct. Consider it a thank you for playing along.”
You shake your head slightly, trying to wrap your mind around the figure. This settlement could change your life, secure Haru’s future, and give you the stability you’ve been desperately seeking.
You could pay off your medical bills for the childbirth, could go back to school. Hell, you could be free of Naoya, you wouldn’t need him or his money.
You narrow your eyes, suspicious of his sudden generosity.
"And what’s the catch?”
Satoru chuckles, a lazy grin spreading across his face as he leans forward, resting his chin in his hand.
"Come on now, sweetheart. Just think of it as me taking care of my...business partner."
Suguru clears his throat, glancing between the two of you.
“Well, there is one additional detail, y/n. The settlement is contingent on maintaining a favorable public image. Any actions or behaviors that damage Satoru’s reputation would result in the forfeiture of all financial support and settlement funds.”
You blink, the implications dawning on you. Ah, of course there would be a condition—you knew better than to think he was just being generous.
“So… I’m responsible for upholding your image? What does that even mean?”
Satoru’s crooked grin widens.
“It means no scandals, no controversies. You play the part of the perfect spouse, attend events, smile for the cameras, and keep any...personal indiscretions out of the spotlight. Simple enough, right?”
Your stomach churns as you realize the depth of his control—you thought you were escaping Naoya’s grasp, but it seems control is still a prevalent force in your life.
This isn’t just a marriage of convenience; it’s a binding agreement that keeps you in line with his public persona, ensuring that any slip-up on your part will have dire financial consequences.
A part of you can’t blame him, though. It makes sense for him to take extra precautions. The Gojos have always been in the public eye, and there have been countless rumors about Satoru's refusal to settle down.
“What if something happens that’s out of my control? What if someone tries to smear my name?”
Satoru’s eyes harden slightly, though his smile remains.
“We’ll handle that on a case-by-case basis. But let’s just say I have ways of managing the media. You just need to play your part, nothing more.”
The calculated control in his tone, juxtaposed with his unwavering smile, makes your skin prickle with unease. The room feels suddenly colder, and a knot tightens in your stomach. You thought you were stepping into a partnership, but now it feels like a performance where one wrong move could cost you dearly.
Suguru interjects, his tone professional.
“This clause is essential for protecting both your interests and Satoru’s. Maintaining a positive public image is crucial for the success of this arrangement and for avoiding any complications that could arise from negative publicity.”
You take a deep breath—this was a gamble. The settlement would secure Haru’s future, your future, but your every move would be scrutinized, and any misstep could strip away the stability you desperately needed.
Your eyes wander to Haru, quietly and innocently playing with her toys. For her sake, you were willing to play Satoru’s game, even if it meant living under the constant pressure of his expectations.
“Alright,” you say firmly. “I agree to the terms.”
Satoru’s eyes flicker with satisfaction and Suguru leans forward sliding a pen towards you both.
“Good. If you both agree to these terms, we can proceed with the signing.”
You observe Satoru as he reaches for the pen—he is back to that usual air of nonchalance; it is almost unsettling. He signs the document with a flourish, barely glancing at the terms, and you envy his composure.
When he hands you the pen, meeting your eyes with a confident smile, you hesitate for a second—then, with a determined snatch, you take the pen from his delicate hand.
Holding your breath, you press the pen to paper and sign your name in one fell swoop. Each stroke of the pen feels heavy, final, but also strangely empowering.
No turning back now.
ꨄ︎
The courthouse ceremony was as brief and impersonal as you expected.
Something about Haru witnessing you legally enter into a fake marriage just didn’t feel right—so you opted to leave her with Satoru’s nanny.
Standing in front of the judge, reciting vows, and signing the official documents felt more like a business transaction than a wedding.
Glancing at Satoru, you couldn't help but feel a bit solemn as you observed him, his expression as indifferent as ever.
This wasn't the fairy tale wedding you once dreamed of. There was no crowd, no rings, no romantic gestures—just a legal agreement with a pen on paper, binding you to him for the next year.
But then again, you knew that coming into this—it was never about romance or dreams; it was about survival and securing a future for Haru.
It was over as quickly as it began—just like that, the judge declared you husband and wife, immediately leaving you alone with Satoru right after.
Noticing your serious expression, Satoru leans in slightly as you gather the official documents.
"You look like you're attending a funeral, not a wedding Mrs. Gojo," his voice drips with playful mockery.
Hearing him call you ‘Mrs. Gojo’ sends a shiver down your spine. That was going to take some getting used to.
“And you look like you’re at a board meeting, not your wedding, Mr. Gojo,” you retort, unable to hide the underlying bite in your voice as your fingers shuffle through the pages.
A deep chuckle reverberates through the otherwise solemn atmosphere. Once you tuck the documents under your arm, you begin to make your way towards the exit. Satoru immediately falls into step beside you.
“Touché. But really, lighten up sweetheart. Gonna need to work harder to convince everyone you’re head over heels in love with me,” there’s a playful challenge in his voice.
Rolling your eyes, you couldn’t help but let out a dry laugh.
“Well, forgive me for not swooning over this magical moment. You know, this isn't exactly how I pictured my wedding day," you mutter, trying to mask the internal melancholy whirling within you.
When you reach for the door, Satoru beats you to it, holding it open with a flourish.
"Oh? And how did you picture it?” he raises an eyebrow as his eyes gleam in amusement, “Let me guess, lots of flowers, a big white dress, and some poor guy professing his undying love for you?"
Okay, screw him. He was really not making this any better. You feel the heat rise to your face as a scoff escapes your lips—the only response you will give him.
Brushing past him, your heels click against the polished floors through the marble halls of the courthouse. As you glance to the tall, ornate windows lining the corridor, the sunlight streams through, casting intricate patterns.
“Hmm, think I guessed right,” he chuckles as he saunters after you.
“And what if you did?” you snap, voice echoing in the grand space. “Is it so weird for me to want a normal family for my daughter?”
The teasing glint in his eyes dim as his expression softens slightly. Once you reach the elevator, Satoru presses the button—the two of you wait in an awkward silence.
The moment the elevator door slides open, you both step inside, the quiet hum of the machinery enveloping you.
“No, it’s not weird. It’s just... different from what I’ve ever thought about,” he says while he presses the button to the lobby.
You huff, crossing your arms as you lean against the back of the elevator.
“What, Mr. Perfect never thought about settling down?”
Satoru's gaze drifts for a moment as he considers your question. The elevator begins its descent, the soft whirl filling the silence.
“Honestly? No, I never did. My father used to pressure me about it all the time. Wanted me to marry someone who could... 'enhance' our family’s status.” He was contemplative, and the echoes of old frustrations are clear in his voice.
You raise an eyebrow, surprised by his sudden openness.
The rumors about Satoru had always painted him as a carefree bachelor, uninterested in the constraints of marriage.
Some said he was too focused on his career, while others whispered that he enjoyed his freedom too much to settle down. There were even speculations that he had a hidden lover, or perhaps he was waiting for the perfect match to come along, someone who could stand by his side both in business and in life.
“…and you never found anyone who fit the bill?”
He chuckles, a hint of bitterness in his voice.
“Plenty of candidates. None that I wanted to spend my life with. Plus, all those ‘suitable matches’ were just women trying to get their hands on the Gojo fortune. Most people just see the money and power. They don't see the person behind it.”
The vulnerability in his eyes is fleeting, and you realize that his father’s expectations must have weighed heavily on him. The pressure to find someone was not about love or companionship—it was about maintaining an image, a legacy. In a way, you both have been victims to control your entire lives.
As the depth of his frustrations become more apparent, you feel a pang of sympathy. It’s enough to make you wonder about the real Satoru. The elevator continues its descent, and you find yourself lingering on his words.
“That sounds... difficult. So why did you go through with this then? With me?”
His gaze softens; his expression thoughtful as he watches the numbers descending the floor levels. He tilts his head slightly, meeting your gaze with an intensity that makes your heart skip a beat.
“Because you’re different. You didn’t come to me looking for wealth or status. You needed help, and I needed a solution. It’s honest, in a way. No hidden agendas, no false pretenses.”
A nervous flutter dances in your stomach, your fingers fidgeting with the folder of documents in your hands. The softness in his words catch you off guard, and you find it difficult to maintain eye contact.
A small, rueful smile tugs at the corner of his lips.
“In a world where everyone wants something from me, I find your straightforwardness refreshing.”
Your heart skips as a warm blush creeps up your cheeks.
“I never thought you’d see it that way. I just... I wanted to do what was best for Haru.”
“And that’s what makes you different,” he replies softly. “You’re doing this for her, not for yourself. That’s why I agreed to this. Because I believe you’re sincere.”
The elevator chimes softly as it reaches the ground floor and the doors slide open to reveal the bustling courthouse lobby.
The weight of the conversation settles between you, a rare moment of vulnerability that made you see Satoru in a new light—a glimpse into his inner world.
The moment you near the courthouse door, you and Satoru push it open in an attempt to exit, but are immediately greeted by a barrage of flashing cameras and shouted questions. Paparazzi swarm around you, seeming to have materialized out of nowhere—how did they even know where to find you both?
Satoru, ever the master of public appearances, wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you close. His touch is warm and firm, and you can feel the steady beat of his heart through his suit.
The sensation of his hand resting securely on your hip sends a tingle through your body, a fluttering in your stomach—you realize now that this is the first time he has touched you.
“Smile for the cameras, Mrs. Gojo,” he whispers into your ear, breath tickling your skin.
You blink, heat rising to your face as you’re momentarily caught off guard by the sudden display of affection. But you quickly compose yourself, remembering the role you have to play.
Leaning into him slightly, you offer a shy smile to the cameras. The flashes intensify and the questions grow louder.
“Mr. Gojo why are you in a courthouse?”
“Mr. Gojo, what is the status of Gojo Corporation?”
“Who is this woman Mr. Gojo?”
“What is your statement on your father’s passing?”
As the paparazzi continue to snap photos and shout questions, Satoru leans down and presses a quick, gentle kiss to your temple. His lips were soft, and the warmth of his breath burned your skin. The gesture, though small, sends a shiver down your spine.
It was all for show, you reminded yourself. Just part of the act.
Yet, the unexpected intimacy lingered, making it hard to ignore the way your heart raced at his touch.
Satoru’s kiss had worked perfectly, fueling the media frenzy. The paparazzi went wild at the tender action—camera flashes intensifying and voices growing louder. They call out more questions, desperate to capture every angle of the seemingly affectionate moment. You feel the eyes of the crowd boring into you.
“Let’s get out of here,” Satoru murmurs, voice low and soothing amidst the chaos.
He reaches out, hand warm and firm as he interlocks his fingers with yours, gently guiding you through the throng of reporters towards the waiting car. His other arm subtly shields you from the crowd.
As you finally break free from the mass of flashing cameras and shouting voices, you slide into the car, feeling a sense of relief wash over you as Satoru slides beside you immediately after.
Glancing back at the courthouse, the reality of your new life begins to sink in. Once the car pulls away, a breath escapes you—one you didn’t realize you had been holding in.
“That was... intense.”
Satoru chuckles, arm resting behind your shoulder. He tilts his head slightly, allowing a few tousles of white hair to fall into his eyes. Through the soft strands, his gaze meets yours, a mix of amusement and seriousness dancing in his striking blue eyes.
“Welcome to my world," he murmurs. "Better get used to it, sweetheart. This is just the beginning.”
ꨄ︎
The following day, a moving company arrived at your apartment as promised—they packed up your belongings with swift efficiency, leaving you feeling like a spectator in your own life.
Watching your life be boxed up and loaded into trucks was bittersweet—as your small apartment, with its familiar creaks and cracks, had been your safe haven.
Everything was arranged, down to the smallest detail. By mid-afternoon, you found yourself standing in the grand foyer of Satoru’s mansion once again, this time with all your worldly possessions.
Haru, wide-eyed and excited, clung to your side, her tiny fingers wrapped around your hand.
"Welcome to your new home," Satoru says with a grin.
It felt more like stepping into a palace than a home.
He reaches down and grabs one of your suitcases, lifting it effortlessly,
"Let me show you to our room."
You feel your face heat up instantly.
"Our room?" you stammer. "Why would we need to share a room when no one is here to watch this charade?"
Satoru's grin widens, clearly enjoying your discomfort.
"Relax, I'm just teasing you. You have your own room. I just wanted to see your reaction."
You shoot him a glare, feeling a mix of relief and annoyance.
“You're impossible," you mutter, trying to hide the blush creeping up your cheeks.
He chuckles, leading you up the grand staircase, and Haru follows closely, her eyes darting around in awe at the luxurious decor. The polished marble steps feel cool underneath you, and the ornate banisters gleam under the soft lighting.
"Come on, let me show you around." Satoru says as he leads the way down a long corridor.
The walls were adorned with intricate tapestries and framed artwork, each piece more exquisite than the last.
Eventually, Satoru stops in front of a set of double doors, turning to you with a small, satisfied smile.
"Here we are."
He pushes them open to reveal a spacious bedroom. The room beautifully furnished, with a large bed, elegant drapes, and a balcony overlooking the manicured gardens below.
"This is your room," he announces, setting your suitcase down gently.
"Wow," you breathe.
It feels a bit overwhelming the moment you step foot inside. Haru, on the other hand, darts past you, exploring every nook and cranny with a delighted giggle. It was easily twice the size of your old apartment.
"This is beautiful... and a lot."
Satoru leans against the doorframe, arms casually crossing over his chest.
The soft light from the chandelier above casts a gentle glow on his features, highlighting the sharp lines of his jaw and the curve of his lips. His white hair, tousled just enough to seem effortlessly stylish, frames his face perfectly.
"Only the best for my... business partner," he says, tone light yet carrying a hint of something deeper.
You offer a simple, "Thanks," but your voice is softer than you intended. Your eyes betray you, lingering on him for a moment longer than necessary.
Satoru's eyes hold yours with a softness that catches you off guard���a striking shade of blue that seems almost ethereal. In that moment, you couldn't help but notice the intensity and warmth in his gaze, it’s almost tender, making you feel like anything but just a ‘business partner’.
Was he always this beautiful?
You can’t help but wonder, feeling a warmth spread through you as the silence stretches on. The moment feels strangely intimate, a connection forming that neither of you expected.
Crap. What are you thinking?
Haru’s giggle breaks the spell as she jumps on your bed.
"Oh, and just so you know," he adds with a playful glint in his eye, "my room is right next door. We share the bathroom, so try not to hog all the hot water."
You blink, surprised. "We have to share a bathroom?"
Curiosity getting the better of you, you open the bathroom door and peer inside.
It was equally impressive, with a large tub and walk-in shower, all in pristine condition. The fixtures gleam, and the marble countertop adds a touch of luxury. There was another door leading directly to Satoru’s room, a constant reminder of his proximity.
"Yep. Just think of it as our first test of marital bliss. Can we survive sharing a bathroom?" Satoru's voice was suddenly closer.
You turn to find him standing right behind you, having moved from his previous spot at the doorframe. The idea of sharing such a personal space with him was a bit unnerving. An awkwardly intimate setup for such a detached relationship, but you didn't have much of a choice.
"…I suppose I'll manage.”
Satoru laughs softly.
"That's the spirit. And don't worry, Haru's room is right across from us. She's got the best room in the house actually," he adds, tilting his head to the side as a cue for you to follow him.
Haru trails excitedly behind as you walk through the luxurious hallway, her giggles echo off the walls. Opening the door, you peek inside and are struck by the sheer extravagance of it.
The room was a child’s dream—decorated in soft pastel colors, with a canopy bed draped in delicate lace, plush toys neatly arranged on shelves, and even a small play area complete with a dollhouse and a set of building blocks. The walls were adorned with whimsical murals of fairies and woodland creatures, creating a magical atmosphere that seemed straight out of a storybook.
Haru's delighted squeals bring a smile to your face, easing the last of your worries.
It was clear that Satoru had spared no expense in making her feel welcome. Each detail spoke of thoughtfulness and care, from the cozy reading nook to the vibrant rainbow-colored rug that added a playful touch to the room. How on earth did he pull all this off so quickly?
“Wow, look, Mama!” she exclaims, her eyes lighting up with joy, running inside to inspect her new haven.
A sense of relief washes over you as a tender smile forms upon your lips. At least Haru would be happy here. The sight of her so animated and cheerful makes the transition a bit easier to bear. Satoru stands beside you.
“I wanted her to feel at home," he says softly, eyes reflecting a rare sincerity.
“You've done more than that. She's ecstatic," you reply, watching Haru dive into a pile of stuffed animals with a gleeful laugh.
Satoru clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck, the gesture uncharacteristically awkward. He glances at the clock on the wall, as if searching for an excuse to end the moment.
"Well, I'll leave you to it," his tone is gentle and almost hesitant. "Let me know if you need anything. Dinner will be ready soon, see you down there?”
His usual confidence is somewhat muted—you wonder, is it you? Haru?
"Yeah,” you nod, “I’m going to put a few of my things away and then we’ll meet you downstairs."
“Right. Take your time. There's no rush."
You can’t help but replay the interaction in your mind as you unpack the essentials from your suitcase. The awkwardness between you and Satoru would pass, you hope. For now, it was enough to know that Haru is happy and safe.
Haru’s laughter echoes from her room, a sound that brings a smile to your face. She seemed to be adjusting much faster than expected, her innocent joy undiminished by the upheaval.
And to you, her laughter solidified it—marrying Satoru, this was the right call.
ꨄ︎
The past few days living with Satoru had been a whirlwind of adjustments—it wasn’t without its challenges. The mansion, with its sprawling rooms and luxurious decor, is more like a museum than a home.
The sheer size makes you feel small and out of place at times, and the constant presence of staff make it difficult to find a moment of privacy.
Satoru, however, had been surprisingly considerate. He’s a constant reminder of the delicate balance you need to maintain—attentive yet reserved, playful yet serious, a paradox that kept you on edge.
Your interactions with Satoru had settled into a routine of polite, if somewhat distant, cohabitation. There were moments of unexpected tenderness, like when he had found you struggling to open a jar in the kitchen and had stepped in to help with a playful grin.
Another time, you had been overwhelmed while trying to assemble a new toy for Haru, and Satoru had quietly taken a seat beside you, helping to figure out the instructions without a word.
Yet despite these moments, there was always an underlying tension, a reminder of the unusual circumstances that had brought you together.
As the days passed, the impending charity gala loomed larger in your mind—the first public event you would attend together as a married couple.
Satoru had taken the time to sit down with you and discuss how you would present yourselves, a task that seemed daunting but necessary.
You agreed on the basics: stay close, exchange subtle touches, and share occasional whispers to create an air of intimacy. The plan was straightforward, but the execution would be another matter entirely.
He emphasized the importance of appearing united, offering tips on how to handle the media and the probing questions that were sure to come. His confidence and ease in handling the media was something you were learning to lean on, though the pressure of maintaining the charade weighed heavily on you.
“What about Haru?” you asked, concern evident in your voice.
“We’ll leave her out of the spotlight,” Satoru replied gently. “I don’t want to overwhelm her. She takes no part in this agreement beyond being your daughter. She’ll stay here with the nanny during the event.”
Amidst all this, your phone had been buzzing constantly with missed calls from Naoya. You hadn't answered any of them—maybe you should just call off the court case?
You did just go through a life changing event, marriage, and that often interferes with the legal process anyways. The judge would need to take into consideration your new source of income for the child support payments.
Honestly, you don’t need Naoya’s support anymore.
You’ll take care of that after the gala though—right now you already have too much on your plate, spending hours with Satoru, fabricating shared experiences and finding common ground to make your relationship believable.
The task of memorizing details about his likes and dislikes, his habits, and his quirks was daunting, but you found yourself surprised at the small details you were beginning to remember about him—the way he took his coffee, his favorite late-night snack, the way his eyes crinkled just slightly when he found something genuinely funny, or how he would absentmindedly run a hand through his tousled white hair when deep in thought.
As the days slipped by in a blur of preparations and rehearsed smiles, you couldn’t shake the feeling that this carefully constructed façade was starting to take on a life of its own. Each shared glance and each moment of unexpected kindness blurred the lines between reality and pretense, leaving you wondering just how deep this charade would go.
ꨄ︎
Standing in front of your bathroom mirror, you adjust the luxurious dress Satoru had picked out for you. A deep, elegant blue fabric clings to your curves in all the right places, and the V-shaped open back that rests above your hips adds a touch of allure.
Loose cascading waves frame your face perfectly, and the professional makeup artist gave you a look that is both subtle and glamorous, enhancing your features in a way the felt natural yet striking.
You barely recognize yourself.
The transformation was astonishing, turning you from a frazzled single mother into a vision of sophistication and grace.
Was it too much? You feel out of sorts, like you’re wearing someone else's skin. The elegant image in the mirror is both thrilling and unnerving.
As you try to steady your racing heart, a knock on the bathroom door makes you jump slightly—Satoru’s door.
“Y/n you ready?” his voice calls out.
With a deep breath, you take one last look in the mirror. As you open the door, Satoru’s frame leans casually against the entryway.
The sleek black tuxedo he is adorned in highlights his broad shoulder and lean frame. His white hair is perfectly styled, contrasting sharply with the dark fabric.
He meets you with a stunned silence—eyes widening slightly as he takes you in. The cool blue of his irises seem more vibrant, gleaming with anticipation as they trace over your form.
You had never seen his eyes linger across your figure like this before—the intensity of his gaze makes your stomach flutter. Feeling a bit self-conscious, you fear what will come out of his mouth.
Does he think it’s too much?
“Wow,” he breathes, voice almost reverent. “You look... stunning.”
A blush creeps up your cheeks at his unexpected compliment, and you find yourself unable to meet his gaze.
"Thank you," you say softly, smoothing down the fabric of your dress.
Satoru steps closer, eyes locked on you. He reaches out and gently lifts your chin, his touch sending a shiver down your spine.
“Seriously, you look amazing. I knew the dress would look good on you, but this... you’re going to be the star of the gala,” a slow smile spreads across his lips. “Ready to knock them dead?”
You nod, trying to ignore the fluttering sensation in your stomach.
“As ready as I’ll ever be…hopefully I can live up to the part.”
“You will,” offering you his arm, he adds, “Just be yourself, and stay by my side, we’re in this together."
ꨄ︎
The ride to the gala is filled with a comfortable silence.
The city lights blur outside the window as the car smoothly navigates through the streets. You find yourself stealing glances at Satoru, admiring the way his profile looks in the dim light.
Strange.
The usually insufferable man seemed different tonight—steadfast, dependable, almost... comforting? Perhaps it’s the nerves.
His arm rests casually behind you, fingers occasionally brushing your shoulder, and you’re surprised yourself how it does not bother you—in fact, it’s actually quite soothing.
Once you arrive, the grand ballroom is a stunning sight. Chandeliers hang from the high ceiling, casting a soft, golden glow over the elegantly dressed crowd.
The room is filled with the city’s elite—a sea of luxurious gowns and tailored suits mingling and exchanging pleasantries. The sight of you and Satoru together was enough to turn heads, drawing curious and admiring glances.
But the sheer number of people, the pressure of playing your part, and the countless eyes watching your every move—it’s all a bit overwhelming. You really felt out of place here.
Sensing your unease, Satoru leans in close, breath warm against your ear.
“Remember, just follow my lead.”
Guiding you with ease, his hand rests lightly on the small of your back as you voyage through the attendees—the warm gentle touch is electric against your bare skin.
Your eyes skim through the herd of people and land on a waiter balancing a tray of champagne glasses. Perhaps a drink would ease your nerves? You don’t hesitate to grab a glass as you navigate the crowd.
Satoru, ever the socialite, seamlessly traverses the room, introducing you to important figures and engaging in small talk that you struggle to follow.
Discussions ranged from market trends and corporate mergers, to the latest charity galas and art exhibitions. Trying to keep up, you nod and smile at the appropriate moments.
It’s clear that Satoru is in his element—his charm, effortless. You find yourself admiring how easy he makes it all look.
As you cling to him, the pride in his eyes when he looks at you makes you feel like you belong, even if you are just playing a part in this elaborate charade.
The evening flowed smoothly enough, with your glass of champagne acting as a steady companion. The warmth of the alcohol helps you mingle with guests, exchange polite conversations, and stay close to Satoru, all as planned. But each interaction was a delicate dance—your smiles and nods masking the nerves simmering beneath the surface.
Honestly, your mind was elsewhere—there is an undercurrent of anxiety as you anticipate Satoru’s announcement on stage, where he would publicly acknowledge your marriage during his donation speech.
When the moment you had been dreading finally arrives, you settle into a chair near the front, heart pounding in your chest.
Satoru takes the stage with a natural grace, and as the spotlight illuminates his striking figure, his presence commands the attention of everyone in the room.
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,” he begins, his voice resonating with a confident authority. “I want to thank you all for being here tonight. Your generosity and support make events like this possible.”
His words flow smoothly as he speaks eloquently about the cause and significance of the charity, each sentence perfectly crafted to engage and inspire—you marveled at his ability to enthrall people.
Pressing your champagne glass to your lips, you desperately hope the cool liquid can help to steady your nerves a bit more.
Then, the moment came.
“I will be donating ten million dollars to this charity,” Satoru announces, his voice carrying a conviction.
The amount causes a ripple of excitement and murmurs to spread through the crowd—you nearly choked on your champagne in shock.
Ten million?
You couldn’t even fathom having that much money, let alone donating it. The magnitude of Satoru’s status is staggering.
A smile tugs at Satoru’s lips—a genuine warmth mingling with the mischievous glint in his eyes. He pauses, letting the impact of his words settle, then lifts a finger to tap his chin contemplatively, as if he just remembered something.
“Or should I say, we will be donating—me and my lovely wife.”
Satoru gestures in your direction as a spotlight beams upon you. The crowd erupts into an enthusiastic applause, causing your heart to race the moment all eyes instantly turn to you.
There is a rush of heat that rises to your cheeks, mixing with the warmth of the alcohol. The weight of the crowd’s gaze makes your vision a bit blurry.
Beckoning you to join him on stage, Satoru extends his hand and offers a comforting smile. Though, the moment you stand, the room spins slightly—perhaps it’s from the champagne, or perhaps it’s the sheer pressure.
You can’t fuck this up.
With as much grace as you can muster, you make your way to the platform.
Satoru wraps an arm around your waist the moment you are at his side, pulling you close and steadying your trembling figure. He looks down into your eyes with a genuine look of endearment.
“Everyone, please welcome my beautiful wife, y/n,” he says softly in the microphone, his voice filled with a gentle pride.
The applause swells, and you manage a smile, trying to focus on Satoru while ignoring the spotlight’s heat and the intense gazes of attendees.
Leaning in, his lips brush against your ear as he whispers, “You’re doing great.”
Despite the orchestrated nature of your relationship, in this moment, his genuine reassurance means everything. His presence is a steady anchor in the sea of faces and flashing cameras, the only thing holding you together right now.
When the applause dies down, Satoru continues his speech, the warmth of his hand remaining on your waist as his thumb traces soft circles.
You can barely focus on his words, the dizzying reality of where you’re standing feels both exhilarating and terrifying.
The moment Satoru’s speech concludes, the soft hum of conversation mingling and the delicate notes of the live orchestra begin to fill the air yet again. Satoru leads you off the stage, his hand never leaving your side.
Almost immediately after you descend to the floor, Satoru is approached by a business associate, his demeanor shifting effortlessly into that of a seasoned negotiator as they exchange discussions of market trends, potential collaborations, and strategic ventures.
Your heart is still pounding—public speaking was never your strong suit. Despite not needing to speak, being on that stage stirred something within you.
You recall a particularly disastrous presentation in college where you accidentally knocked over the projector, sending your notes flying across the room. The laughter from the audience still haunts you, and since then, you’ve always dreaded being the center of attention.
With Satoru engrossed in conversation, you seize the opportunity to make your way to the bar—seeking a moment of reprieve. Another drink wouldn’t hurt, right?
The gleaming rows of crystal glasses and various bottles of wine and spirits catch your eye. You scan the selection, your gaze lingering on a particularly rich, deep red wine.
Deciding it’s exactly what you need to steady your nerves, you signal the bartender and opt for a glass of the robust vintage, savoring the thought of its smooth, calming flavor.
One glass turned into two—your nerves finally beginning to settle as the soothing effects of the alcohol take over your senses.
Realizing you’ve been away from Satoru for quite some time, you prepare to rejoin him—but just as you start to rise, a familiar, unwelcome voice interrupts your thoughts.
“Well, well, look who we have here,” Naoya sneers, leaning against the bar beside you, a glass of scotch swirling in his hand. “Didn’t expect to see you here, mingling with the high society.”
A chill runs down your spine and you heart drops. No amount of alcohol could have prepared you for this moment.
“Naoya,” you stiffen, clutching your wine glass tighter. “What are you doing here?”
He takes a swig of his scotch, emptying the glass and placing it down on the counter with a loud clink. Leaning closer into your space, his eyes narrow—a cold, cynical stare boring into you.
“I could ask you the same thing. This doesn’t seem like your usual scene. What’s your angle?”
Your breath quickens and you feel your pulse hammering in your chest. Adverting your gaze, your fingers brush against the rim of your wine glass.
“I’m sure you heard, I’m here with my husband, if you must know. Not that it’s any of your business.”
The sneer he meets you with makes the room suddenly feel smaller, as if his presence is suffocating you.
“Husband, huh?” his eyes rake over you with contempt suspicion, “Quite the leap from where you were a few weeks ago. Is this some kind of game to you?”
Summoning your courage, you straighten your back and meet his gaze head-on.
“Not a game, Naoya. It’s called moving on. You should try it sometime. My life is no longer any of your concern.”
Taking a step closer, he looms over you—his voice lowering to a menacing whisper.
“I don’t buy it. This whole charade… you think I don’t know what you’re trying to pull?”
For a moment, you are frozen in place, the fear and control Naoya exerts paralyzing you. Your mind races, the implications of his words sinking in.
What if he exposes you?
What if this carefully constructed facade comes crashing down?
Before you can respond, you feel an arm slip around your waist, pulling you with practiced ease out of Naoya’s bubble and right beside Satoru.
“There you are, darling. Everything alright?”
His voice is smooth and warm, and his gaze flicks between you and Naoya, narrowing as he surveys the situation. The look on your face unsettles him—something feels off.
Naoya straightens himself, leaning against the bar with a supercilious smirk as he crosses his arms.
“Just catching up with an old friend. No harm in that, right?”
“I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced.” Satoru’s tone was light but laced with an underlying steel, “I’m y/n’s husband, Satoru Gojo.”
A scoff escapes Naoya as his eyes flash with irritation, but an unnerving smile remains upon his lips.
“Yes, I’ve heard. You certainly move fast, don’t you, y/n?”
Naoya can see right through you—you fell a flash of panic. Turning to Satoru, your eyes meet his with a silent plea for support. His expression softens and he gives you a reassuring nod while tightening his grip upon your waist.
“Well, when you know, you know,” Satoru says with a charming smile, “and we knew.”
Naoya snickers, running his hand through his hair in disbelief.
“Come on y/n. How did someone like you end up with someone like him? Seems... unlikely. You don’t belong here.”
Heat rises to your face and the sudden urge to shrink away overwhelms you—your heart dropping at the sting of Naoya’s words.
Suddenly, Satoru steps closer, creating a protective barrier between you and Naoya—the playful glint in his eyes gone, replaced with a cold, steely determination.
“Watch your mouth, you don’t get to talk to my wife like that.”
“I’m just stating the obvious,” Naoya shrugs, meeting Satoru’s glare with an indifference as he shoves his hands in his pockets. “She’s out of her league here.”
Satoru’s jaw tightens, his voice low and dangerously calm.
“If you think she’s out of her league, then you clearly don’t know her at all. You’re out of line. Y/n belongs here more than anyone. So, unless you have something worthwhile to say, I suggest you move along.”
“Is that so?” Naoya raises an eyebrow. “You’ll have to forgive me if I’m a bit skeptical. After all, you’ve always been a bit of a lone wolf, Satoru Gojo.”
Panic seizes you as Naoya’s observation hangs in the air. The last thing you need is for him to start spreading rumors or causing trouble. You realize you have to do something, and fast. Your mind races, desperately searching for a way to convince Naoya of your authenticity.
Summoning all the courage you can muster, you step forward, threading your arms around Satoru’s neck as you rest your forehead against his own. Your words are addressed to Naoya, but your eyes remain on Satoru the entire time, drawing strength from his steady gaze and the warmth of his touch.
“Satoru and I... we chose each other for reasons that go beyond what you see. We may have our differences, but we’re stronger together, and we have a connection that you can’t comprehend.”
Satoru’s eyes soften, reflecting a silent understanding and a shared resolve—his breath mingling with yours.
Feeling Naoya’s probing gaze, you know he won’t be easily convinced, and so, acting on impulse, you pull Satoru closer and crash your lips against his.
For a moment, Satoru seemed caught off guard. His eyes widened in surprise before they fluttered closed, his hands moving to rest on your hips. The world around you seemed to fade away as the kiss lingered, heat pooling in your stomach.
It was supposed to be a quick peck, just enough to sell the act. But the moment your lips met his, something shifted.
Perhaps you were emboldened by the alcohol, perhaps it was the need to be convincing, perhaps it was the way Satoru stood up for you—without thinking, you deepen the kiss, parting your lips and slipping your tongue into his mouth, making things more intimate than you originally intended.
You can feel Satoru tense for a moment, his surprise evident. But then, with a soft hum against your mouth he melts into the kiss, a hand moving to cup your face as he returns the intimacy with unexpected fervor—his other hand encircling around your waist, pulling you closer against him.
Your fingers thread through Satoru’s hair and the world around you seems to fade away—the only thing that mattered now was the heat radiating off of Satoru’s body, the warmth of his lips against yours, and the lingering sweet taste of the gala’s chocolate cake mingling with the wine on your tongue.
It was a moment that felt both incredibly real and utterly surreal.
When you finally pull back, you are both breathless. As you catch a flicker of something unreadable in Satoru’s half lidded eyes, for a brief moment, you forget about Naoya completely, about the act, about everything except the electric connection between you both.
Satoru's thumb gently caresses your cheek, his gaze softening.
Pulling yourself back to reality, you peer over to Naoya—his smug expression had vanished, replaced by a look of genuine surprise and irritation.
“As you can see, we’re very happy together,” you say sweetly, rubbing your nose against Satoru’s.
"Didn't think you were the type to move on so quickly," Naoya sneers.
A wave of exhilaration and embarrassment course through you as Naoya retreats back into the crowd. The kiss had done its job, but it had also left you with a lingering sense of uncertainty. Satoru’s touch is still warm on your skin—you can still taste him on your lips.
"You okay?" he asks softly, his concern genuine.
The question pulls you out of your thoughts, but his gaze does the opposite—your face flushes and it feels like your heart is going to pound out of your chest.
"Yeah. I... I just needed to convince him.."
Satoru studies you momentarily—knowing there is more to the story with Naoya. But he also knows now isn’t the time to pry.
He chuckles softly, his hand lingering on your waist.
“Well, I think you succeeded. That was... unexpected. You really went for it there,” he murmurs.
For a moment, it felt like you were playing a role, but the feelings stirring inside you were anything but fake.
"I'm sorry," you swallow hard, face flushing with embarrassment. "I didn't mean to..."
“I didn’t mind,” he interjects, thumb brushing against your lower lip, sending a shiver down your spine. “Just so you know, you did great. Better than I expected,” his voice low and husky.
Fuck.
You blink—Naoya is gone, but here Satoru is, still holding you so intimately, so intently.
The way he looks at you, the warmth in his touch, the tone of his voice—it makes you question the lines between reality and pretense.
“Didn’t know you had it in you.” Satoru hums, his fingers brushing a strand of hair from your face. He leans in, his breath dancing on your lips, tantalizingly close. “But next time, let’s save the tongue for when we’re really alone, hm?”
What is he saying?
Your mind races, trying to decipher his words, his intentions. Was he still in character, or was there a hint of genuine desire in his eyes?
The electricity in the air was undeniable, and you find yourself lost in the intensity of his gaze—the crowd around you fading, their murmurs and whispers becoming a distant hum.
Satoru’s eyes held secrets you were desperate to uncover.
As you struggle to formulate your thoughts, Satoru’s hand gently cups your cheek, his thumb tracing a soft line along you jaw.
"Relax," he murmurs, "We're just putting on a show, remember?"
You nod, though your heart betrays you with its rapid pace.
“Right,” you whisper, forcing a smile. “Just a show.”
But deep down, you can’t shake the feeling that there was more to this act than either of you were willing to admit.
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a/n. ahh i really enjoyed writing this chapter. okay, i was snickering at satoru's internal turmoil when he met haru for the first time. i couldn't resist with the digimon 🤭 my daughter is currently obsessed with pikachu so that's where that inspiration came from lol. also, this kiss was one of my favs to write 🥰 lemme know if you guys are interested in me making this a longer series. as always, thanks for reading 🫶🏻 → on to the next chapter ꨄ
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meganegatari · 4 months ago
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regret & saudade; loose threads⭑.ᐟ
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Made to attend a basement party in your heartbroken state, you come face to face with Ellie—your ex, the one you can’t forget. Tension lingers in every glance, every remark, as saudade thrums between you, a love lost but never gone. In the haze of liquor and longing, the night may unravel—and even reignite.
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☆: this a collab with the loveliest of lovely people, @bloodstainedsapphic ♡ musing about this with you was the most fun thing ever, i don't know how i'll ever be able to express just how talented you are, and how thankful i am for all your contributions here!! ...i mean chat, all the credit goes to lyss. i'm serious!! thank you sm lyssbug, and i better see yall thanking her too!! hope y'all enjoy :) ellie's m.list.
◇: 18+ mdni. alcohol consumption, ellie’s a little mean (she's hurt), reader as well + tension, tension, and more tension. whiny sub!ellie x mouthy dom(ish)!reader, oral & nipple sucking (e! recieving), and she has hip tattoos lol. also contains angsty themes and a purposely ambiguous ending. ++ 3.6k word count.
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Getting dragged out of bed for a basement party hosted by a friend of a friend was the last thing you wanted tonight. Yet, here you were, begrudgingly getting ready—much to your dismay—to indulge your friends’ wishes.
Parties weren’t exactly a common occurrence in Jackson, at least not ones that didn’t involve the community church. Hardly anyone bothered to put energy into organizing gatherings for the young folk to get drunk and act recklessly when survival took precedence. Still, once in a blue moon, someone made an effort, and word spread fast.
Yes, you understood why your friends insisted. They meant well. This was a rare chance, and they were worried about you, trying to pull you out of the misery pit you had plummeted into recently. Woe is you for having people who care, even if their grand solution included shuffling you into a crowded, musty room with cheap booze for a few hours.
But this was also the last party you wanted to be at for one crucial reason: your ex, Ellie, was bound to be there.
Your ex wasn’t any more of a party animal than you were, but you were sure the extroverted mutual friends who had adopted you both had undoubtedly coaxed her into going, just as they had with you.
There was simply no sugarcoating it. You had been drowning in the throes of heartbreak hell in the weeks since you and Ellie broke up. The decision itself was “mutual”—whatever the fuck that meant. Anyone with half-open eyes could recognize that unresolved feelings were lurking beneath the surface.
But still, you were somehow convinced that Ellie was coping with the heartache better than you. Mainly because you were managing it so terribly, it’d be difficult for her to be in worse shape. The thought of seeing her and proving your suspicions either way made your stomach churn.
Conjuring up the will to act like a functioning human for the night, you finally joined Jesse half a block away from the house and made your way over.
The space wasn’t anything special. Just another grungy basement, stuffy with age and ever-rotating crowds of partygoers. The wallpaper peeled, curling inward on itself, and the flooring was adorned with decades’ worth of spills and stains. A decent time hinged on the hope that everyone would get wasted enough to forget the unsavory details.
The liquor was crowdsourced—meaning passable but plentiful. Your beeline to the booze might have earned a few raised eyebrows, but you couldn’t be bothered to give a damn.
Ellie’s eyes found you just as you were taking in the low-lit room.
Already nestled in a corner and nursing her umpteenth drink, she was just intoxicated enough to sharpen her spite but not enough to embolden her to speak up—yet. You didn’t take long to find her either, carefully coordinating fleeting glances and using purposeful posturing to feign indifference.
Ellie tracked your every move, attentive to your every step and person you conversed with.
There was some mutual delusion: Ellie misread your avoidance as proof that you were doing just fine, and you misread her detachment in a similar vein. You both assumed the other was moving on when nothing could have been further from the truth.
Ellie had opted for a darker outfit than usual, all black, practically wearing the heartache on her sleeve. Her loosely buttoned cotton shirt hung amply off her frame, adding to her almost ghostly appearance. Her auburn hair, slicked back and muted, due for a wash, looked much less lively than it used to. The speckled ivy green of Ellie’s eyes had dulled, something far more monotone. Her undereye bags lay heavier, cheeks hollowed, a gauntness that was concerning for a girl already thin. Maybe you’d make a snide comment for Dina to pass on just to get her fed—not that you cared. You just didn’t like seeing the girl look like a husk of your Ellie- err, the one you used to know.
And—fuck. That necklace. It looked an awful lot like the one that had vanished from your nightstand months ago.
Wearing it was all but a confession of Ellie’s true feelings—that her apathy was merely a poorly executed act.
You slammed back the first drink too quickly, the burn hardly registering in your throat. The second glass didn’t fare any better. After a few more pours, the alcohol softened your edginess enough to lax you into joining conversations, to dance, to let your friends pull you into something resembling fun—even striking up idle chatter with a few pretty girls, acting as if it wasn’t just to dull the ache.
An indiscernible span of time passed, your focus clouding into a haze that lets you briefly forget the grievous weight in your chest, even if it didn’t wholly undo it.
Then, a brief yet audacious tap on your shoulder.
You already knew who it was from the distinct way her pointer fingers pressed into your skin.
“You’re out tonight?” Ellie bit out as a greeting, her suffering more pronounced now that she had closed the distance. Her stare, once dimmed, had reignited, brimming anew with an irate temper. Ellie wasn’t the jealous type, but the combination of alcohol and the sight of you mingling with other girls stirred something unfamiliar and ugly within her.
“I am. are you?” You asked snarkily, starting with the obvious of this tense reunion.
Ellie’s eyes twitched, brows furrowing. Your response went unappreciated but was understandably deserved. She wet her lips to buy another second before spitting out another question, too quickly to be casual.
“You come with anyone?”
Your eyes glossed over with irritation, this being the first conversation Ellie had dragged you into after weeks of silence. Her question seemed like a placeholder for everything else she wanted to say, though it came out too bluntly. The people you’d been distracting yourself with blurred into the background now that Ellie was here, her nerves showing with every crack in her composure.
“Nope,” you snipped. “You?”
“Nope,” she replied, exaggeratedly popping her lips at the ‘p’ sound. It sounded forced, like she was trying to make herself sound more confident than she felt.
Ellie shifted her weight onto one hip, her gaze raking a slow once-over of your form. Pretending she didn’t already have your every dip and curve memorized. Your eyes flicked across the room, grasping for any excuse to escape this friction, but naturally, the friends who had dragged you out tonight were suddenly nowhere to be found.
"Didn't know you were the type to move on so fast, getting cozy with a few girls over there..." Ellie remarked, her voice hung with bitterness, not even trying to hide her hurt there.
Your jaw clenched, miffed by the implication behind her words. "Didn't know you were the type to care. Or even notice..."
“Pfft. I don’t. Just funny watching you act like you’re over it,” Ellie replied, trying to play it cool, but her voice cracked, betraying her defensiveness.
You narrowed your eyes. “That right?”
Ellie shrugged, drawing another lazy sip from her glass. “Yeah. s’cute, really. Watching you pretend.”
Your blood boiled at the way she said it, like she wasn’t just as much of a wreck as you. Like she hadn’t been staring at you all night.
“Ellie, you’re not cool enough to act like this-“ you rip into her with a sneer. You never pictured you’d speak to each other in such a way, but harshness felt like the only language you shared left, especially in tandem with her own cruel barbs.
Ellie’s tongue poked the inside of her cheek, a tell she’d never grown out of. The callout cut deep, knowing you still saw right through her. Ellie’s fingers started to tap the length of the glass, keeping a rhythm to compensate for the fidgeting she often did when nervous. Another tell she couldn’t hide.
“Yeah, okay,” her voice wavered, but then she turned her attention to finishing her glass swiftly, struggling to cling to that false bravado that was irking you past your breaking point.
“Ellie—” you spat her name venomously, shielding your sadness with anger. “If you have something you want to say, we can go somewhere else.”
Ellie’s cheeks roseated, the weight of you threatening her to put her money where her mouth is sinking in. The liquor had clearly obscured her foresight into the risks of confronting you so impudently.
Not letting Ellie another chance to deflect, you grabbed a fistful of her onyx-colored shirt sleeve and tugged her from the foggy crowd to an isolated corner, into a dark hallway, finally ducking into a cramped, dingy storage room long left unfinished. You shut the door. no working lock. Just great.
In the time you had fiddled with the old, janky handle, Ellie had already slipped back into the jaded facade she wore at the start of your encounter. The awkward, needy girl was buried deep, but not deep enough. The blush on her cheeks, the stutter in her words, the way her breath hitched when you got too close—proof enough she wasn’t as composed as she wanted you to think.
You just had to figure out how to crack her open.
Stepping closer, you caught that false smirk creeping back onto her lips. You wanted to smack that cheshire grin off her face, but the fragility you could see in her eyes—despite her best efforts to conceal it—only fueled your fire.
“You’re so goddamn frustrating,” you snap, voice raw with irritation. “Thought maybe for once you could talk to me like a normal person-or, imagine, like the girl you claimed to love-”
Ellie swallowed thickly as you came closer with every word. Hell, she looked so good, even in this state. The scent of alcohol on her breath, the sliver of skin peeking through the buttons of her top, the closeness of her rouge lips—it was causing the last of your composure to slip. Your heart raced as the room seemed to shrink, leaving only the two of you.
If words weren’t enough, maybe a more physical approach would crumble her defenses.
In that moment, a sly grin spread across your face. Time for a bit of mischief.
Nearly chest-to-chest, breaths merging together, you reach up and begin toying with the hem of Ellie’s cotton shirt, and descend to the gleaming buttons on her jeans. Right as you make contact, you hear her hiss out a sharp breath, the derisive edge in her voice sends a chill down your spine.
“Missed me that much, huh? You were always so impatient.” She clicks her tongue. But you knew Ellie, you knew this was all a “tough-guy” act. She was not going to let you get under her skin so easily, not without a fight.
The chuckle that passes your lips is a scornful sound, her ears perk up in curiosity as to what you're planning.
After a moment of wrestling with the skin-tight denim—she's free. Ellie takes the liberty to pull her shirt up a touch, and the mere sight of her dark, wisplike happy trail leaves your mouth watering. Your eyes flicker up to hers; keenly, expectantly scanning her delicate features.
Most unfortunately, Ellie returns nothing worth celebrating, her facade still clambering to stay mighty. Just observing, cool fern eyes low—almost kubrick-esque—everything still under control. For now.
You continue undressing her, undoing her shirt and exposing her pale torso. Fuck, what a specimen. Eggshell and cinnamon skin, soft and supple as far as the eye can see. The thin fabric clings to her shoulders, and you push it aside to look upon her chest.
Luckily for you, she doesn't believe in bras, letting her dusty pinkish nipples harden when the air grazes her skin. Ellie lets out the quietest sigh, almost inaudible, but you still catch it and throw her a smirk. Her eyes roll, she's still acting unimpressed.
“Keep going then,” she drawls.
You ghost your mouth over her skin, before taking her nipple in between your lips and sucking. You snake your tongue over the bud and gently pinch the other one with two fingers. Still determined to break her, you look up again. She makes no noise, just tilts her head back until it hits the wall supporting her with a dull thud. You had to do more, you needed to.
Moving to press hot kisses in the valley of her chest, you drag your mouth lower, lower, and lower, until you end up on your knees with her still-clothed crotch an inch from the tip of your nose. With her help, her jeans are discarded into a heap to your right. The tight boxer shorts she was wearing hugged her lean thighs in such a way, you couldn't resist lurching forward and sinking your teeth into the flesh.
Above, you hear something resembling a startled gasp—there you go, the beginning of the end.
Making quick work of her undergarment, Ellie leans against the wall, bare before you. You look up once more at her, but in the perfect moment in time to spot a scarlet flush spread from her chest, up her neck, and decorate her cheeks. There's a crease forming in her forehead as well. You spot her hip tattoos, the ink was striking. Running your tongue along the linework, you taste her skin—salty-sweet.
Simultaneously, you drag your hands up and down the sides of her legs, feeling goosebumps rise as you pass over. Her breaths quickly go shaky, her primal need for your mouth on the crescendo of her thighs overtaking her. Slowly but surely, you were achieving your goal.
“God Els, you're so wet. Seems like you missed me more, hmm?” You titter, voice smooth as syrup, to which she grunts almost in annoyance, neither confirming or denying your tease.
“Sure you weren't so desperate, you came here just for me? Because you wanted to get eaten like a slut?” You hear her exhale shake. Your degrading words—like clouds of miasma—infected her entirely, she didn't know whether to be embarrassed or even more turned on.
Fucking finally, your tongue parts her folds; silken and dripping for you. Smoothly moving forward in and pushing her thighs apart, you take more of her into your mouth. The taste of her arousal makes your head spin, and you don't even register the fact you're lightly moaning into her core already. You missed this. You missed her. You missed the feel of her hot skin, her signature Ellie attitude, her sweetness and how she reacted to your touch—even more than you'd like to admit.
Your eyes close instinctively, and you lick a stripe from her needy hole up to her puffy clit, feeling the bud twitch on your tongue. You wrap your lips around it, and she almost wails. Although Ellie, as clever as she is stubborn, stifles her whines with a clenched fist. When you hear the cut-off cry, your gaze snaps upward. she's biting down on her own flesh, hard, her teeth causing the knuckles to discolor. The blush on her cheeks is approaching maroon, obscuring her freckles, and her eyes are screwed shut. She can't hide the tremors or the panting breaths, though.
You keep devouring her, getting more and more drunk the longer her essence invigorates your senses. She pleads for you some more, albeit impolitely, “Hurry- ah—harder, more…”
Your grip on her hips intensifies, nails leaving marks right next to her tattoos, adding to the artistry already there. She begins to whimper, the small, pathetic sounds of an impending defeat causing heat to spread in your own abdomen.
You tongue fuck her into oblivion, pushing the muscle inside her until you feel her walls pulsing around you. Your nose bumps at her clit, eliciting high pitched pleas from her.
At a glance again, you see there's nothing hiding her mouth, and the hand that was aiding her has moved to join her other one—bracing against the wall. You had Ellie utterly wrecked.
She teeters, rickety legs trembling and struggling to hold her upright. A gush of slick runs down your chin, and she squeals. Unable to hold back any longer, she starts begging you to cum.
Her voice is strained, wobbly. “Please, fuck-!! Ah…c'mon…come onnn.”
Music to your ears.
Smiling against her thumping clit, you continue to suck until her rhythmic pants are all you can hear. The climbing volume was more satisfying than you could have ever envisioned and you never wanted to let up.
“Ah, ah, ah— m'so close, pleasepleaseplease.” She pleads with vehemence, damn near calling on divinity to finish. It was ironic really, there was nothing holy about this.
Her pussy seizes and her body tenses before she's hit with the most forceful orgasm she's ever felt. Silent moans choking in her throat, you messily lap at her folds until you feel the flutter, and hear the most beautiful cry of pleasure.
She's loud, unabashedly so, the pornographic nature of the scenario before you making your face grow hotter than the sun. You lick up every drop of warm cum from her, savoring both the ambrosial taste of her, and the sight of her coming undone like this.
Low groans and mumbles transition to high-pitched squeaks, a telltale sign you were entering overwhelming territory. She's sniveling, all semblance of composure long gone. Babbled cries ring through the small space, all she can muster falling out of her, “Fuck, fuck, shit..okay, hahhh—”
You dont let up and fuck her through her high until she shakes above you, seemingly brought to tears by the sensation. You drag your tongue through her folds one last time, just for the hell of it, and to solidify all this in your memory, before kneeling back to examine what you made of her.
Her chest was steadily rising and falling, she was leaning against that solitary wall, legs quaking and about to give, completely out of it.
The blissed out look on her face was ethereal, she was still so pretty. Through everything, you'd always find your way back—lost in those springlike, agate-ringed greens.
You jump up to her level and yank her towards you by her—your—necklace, making her jolt and snap out of the post-orgasm euphoria. Roughly, you crash your lips onto hers. Ellie’s lips part to let your tongue in, and a guttural moan rips out of her when she tastes herself on you.
You gingerly pull away, trying to ignore the ache in your heart that blossoms when you notice her chasing your lips.
The pair of you are winded and still looking at each other with saucer-wide eyes, the intensity of what you did catching up to you as the bliss wore off. Automatically, you reach to hold her hand, but she pulls away and avoids your sympathetic stare. She looks up and down, side to side, pretending to be interested in the peeling wall behind her.
Seeing her uneasiness, you clear your throat. “Ellie, um…you okay?” Your voice is mellow and gentle, the complete opposite of what it sounded like earlier.
Ellie sighs and briskly nods, brushing any and all concern away. She meets your eyes, and you notice the vibrant green dulled once again—almost appearing gray, like wilted leaves amidst a drought.
Her expression was hard to read. Her cheeks are flushed and her skin is glossy, indicating physical satisfaction, but there was a certain longing there too. The way she fidgeted with her fingers, the way she pursed her lips ever so slightly—she misses you.
You absentmindedly begin to collect yourself, wiping the remnants of her from the lower half of your face, all while readjusting your shirt. You turn towards her, buttoning up Ellie's shirt and straightening the collar—you give her a meek smile when she lets you fix her up, both of you unsure of what to say. The air feels odd, not quite heavy, but cold. “Let's go back, play it cool.” You chuckle and attempt to crack a joke to lighten the awkward mood. Ellie simply huffs.
Accepting that it’s time to snap back to reality. You breathe in a sharp breath to compose and ground yourself. “I miss you, come back to me", was sitting just behind your teeth, but you steeled yourself and pushed those old feelings away.
It was too soon to unpack anything right now. Not to mention both of you still being drunk—in more ways than one.
Ellie starts, “We should leave separately, y'know, so no one suspects anything.”
“Oh for sure, yeah. Go- go, before everyone starts asking questions-“ you usher Ellie out with an instinctive hand pressed to her back, all but throwing her out of that cramped, now-suffocating space for the sake of avoiding becoming the town’s gossip. In Jackson, rumors tended to spread faster than a wildfire.
Ellie left, and you were all alone in the space. Your body's framework crumples weakly against a corner, overcome with emotion. You couldn't help but reminisce—silently lamenting for her in the dim, stuffy room.
But there was still a party going on, if you stayed in there any longer, it would become suspicious rather fast. You push thoughts of Ellie away into the abyss where you made sure the padlock was not planning on breaking. You threw the key away, but for good this time, you vowed to yourself.
Ellie had likely whisked herself away into the kitchen to get a light snack—you remembered that sex always made her hungry afterward.
You hear a familiar song start playing from the main room, something you could try to sway along to and you put on a faint smile—as genuine as you could muster, hoping to rejoin conversations as casually as you had left them. You slip out of the small storage space, closing the door behind you, hoping it’s not symbolic of where things stand with Ellie.
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whowrotethenote · 5 months ago
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𝐁𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐅𝐚𝐧
Rating: 18+ minors DNI
Summary: What starts off as a regular Spring Break attending Wrestlemania for Alana, takes an unexpected turn, landing her in a fantasy come to life. The Tribal Chief is in need of unwinding after his victory and he chose her.
Pairing: Roman Reigns x Black Fem OC
Warnings: NSFW // Smut // Age gap // Profanity // Adultery
Word count: 8.9k (sorry lol)
Inspo: Biggest Fan by Chris Brown
A/N: This took way longer than it should've, but I'm actually proud of myself for finishing. Y'all don't know how many times I've started writing something in the past and never finish. There's drafts of unfinished everything on my laptop.
This is my first time posting my writing on any platform. I hope y'all like it. I tried to proofread as much as I can, but I'm honestly tired of reading it lol. I feel like I'm going to realize its shit and delete it all.
Disclaimer // Part Two // Biggest Fan Masterlist // Roman Reigns Masterlist // Join My Taglist // Main Masterlist
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“I wonder if the Usos will come out.”
“Yeah, probably,” I respond to my roommate Demi, only half as concerned as she is. The Usos are the last thing on my mind. They’re her choice of poison. I’m here for one man and one man only.
I survey the crowd of strangers surrounding us. All in Bloodline gear waiting for the same thing. The Main Event. They all probably spent a fortune months ago just to be in the very same spot she and I stole tickets for.
It wasn’t on purpose. We originally had nosebleeds. We were lucky to even have those, seeing as we snagged them just days ago. The frail older man outside the doors waving a chunk of tickets in his hand, was an angel in disguise. He waved and waved until two tickets went flying into the thick crowd of people all pushing to just get into the main doors of the building. 
Demi and I searched on hands and feet for those tickets that no one else seemed to be looking for. Imagine our disbelief seeing them all dirtied and stepped on by the door and they read floor seats. Not just any floor seats. The ones located directly next to the entrance ramp with a clear shot of the ring. Fucking jackpot.
don’t be acting all fanned out when he walks by either
I smirk reading the text my brother sent. Yeah, right. Maybe three years ago, a young Alana would’ve woke up tomorrow morning with no voice from losing my shit, watching the Roman Reigns walk by me. But it's not five years ago. I’m not a teenager in my room waiting at the TV with my golden glove on, throwing my one’s up and giving an acknowledgment he couldn’t even see. 
Who am I fooling? That teenage girl, although buried deep, still lives within me. Otherwise I wouldn’t even be here. I wouldn’t have spent the two thousand my dad gave me to enjoy my spring break on a plane ticket to LA, a hotel and tickets to Wrestle-mania 39. I’d be like the rest of the Juniors at my university. Bar hopping in Mexico or in Miami half naked strutting down Collins Ave.
I go back and forth between scrolling on my phone, daydreaming, and loosely watching the matches that come. Before I know it, the moment I’ve been waiting for all night and damn near all my life rises to the forefront.
The lights dim and the first beats of the drums ring loud throughout the stadium, matching the acceleration of my heartbeat. This is really happening. He’s about to come out and walk right past me. Everyone around me pulls their phones out on the ready, accompanied by a roar of screams just as loud as the orchestra performing his music. 
Too concentred on the entry way anticipating his figure, I forget I even have a phone. No, I need to feel this thoroughly. No middle man between me and this unforgettable experience.
We all wait in collaborative angst until his tall figure emerges and my breath gets caught in my throat. The aura and the energy he carries is all consuming, demanding the attention of every person present, even his haters. Solo and Paul flank behind him following his slow and steady pace until he comes to a hard stop. 
The cameraman is dangerously close as he kneels to catch him from an angle down below. This is so surreal. On cue his pyro lights fire, upping the excitement from the crowd if even possible. Everyone is already losing their minds. Even Demi’s screams threatened to take out my right eardrum despite her main infatuation resting with the Usos.
His mesmerizing eyes scan the crowd with a slight nod of approval and then they land on…me? Time stills and I can’t hear the noise around me. Was he staring at me? 
As much as I want to look around for confirmation that his eyes are indeed locked on me, I’m hypnotized. The slight scrunch of his brows and his dark pupils paralyze me in place. Jesus, Lana. Move. Smile. Wave. Shit, do something.
He’s fucking beautiful. Carved from stone. Kissed by the sun. Hair wet and hanging. Ula Fala draping perfectly around his neck. Full beard with a hint of greying. And his chest. God, his chest. His abs rippled perfectly. I’m scared to even blink, at the risk that I’ll miss something.
A thick pink tongue slithers out over his lips and I heat up from the inside out. My god.
In a flash he looks onward to the ring on the move again and the world returns to its original state. 
I turn to face Demi whose eyes are wide like a saucer. “Biiiitch,” she drags out and we break into a fit of laughter.
“Okay, so I’m not bugging?” My brows dent. 
“No. No, I saw it too,” she assures me. “That man was definitely eye fucking you.” My face heats replaying the scene back in my head. “That was so surreal. He’s so much bigger in person…” Her voice trails off once I get lost in my thoughts watching him hold his titles up in the center of the ring. He moves like a king. Like everywhere he goes he expects everyone to bow gracefully and fall at his feet. It makes him even more attractive than just what the eyes can reach. Fuck me. This is going to be a long night.
Demi got her wish. The Usos came out but their stunt didn’t last too long due to an appearance from Sami and Kevin. Somehow, Roman still took home the win. Still the champion. Still on top. Still the man.
The whole match, I could only half way focus on him and his god-like figure moving about in the ring. The other half of me was still stuck in the moment we shared during his entrance. Was he really staring at me?
Call me delusional, but I swear he looked at me two more times. Once during the match, when he kicked out at the last second of Cody’s pin. He struggled to his knees and rested back on his heels to scan the crowd. He stumbled to his feet, but not before those eyes bore a hole into mine for a quick second. Then again, when he won. He held up his titles, chest heaving up and down, then he looked my way with a squint.
“I can’t believe he still won,” Demi practically has to yell as we ease our way through the crowd to leave. “I was sure it was game over when Sami gave him the boot.”
Simultaneously we push through the back entrance doors and let them slam behind us. The slightly chilly night air of April hitting. No more screams. No more crowds. But the rush and aura of the night still lingers on us.
“My man doesn’t take L’s,” I tell her matter-of-factly with my chin up.
“I see,” she laughs.
We were smart. We took an Uber and told him to let us out from almost three blocks away. We follow that same pattern now to avoid the rush and traffic of everybody trying to leave at once. Towards the opposite way of the parking lot, away from the crowds, we start our journey to a quiet block to call the Uber. 
“Wanna hit it?” Demi extends her hand that holds a lit blunt in between her fingers. I shake my head.
“How the hell did you even get that thing in?”
“Tampon,” she informs before pulling from it. Of course. She’s been sneaking weed into parties that way since we were freshmen.
“Excuse me! Ladies!” An authoritative calls from behind causing us both to stop in our tracks. I know that voice. “Excuse me!”
Demi and I lock eyes and at once we do a complete one-eighty to find him practically chasing us down.
“What the fuck?” I hear Demi murmur before he stops in front of us winded.
“Ladies,” he offers one firm nod. “My name is—’’
“Paul Heyman,” we finish for him in unison. 
A smug smile adorns his chubby face. “That’s right.” He holds a hand out and we both just stare at it for a while. After several seconds of an awkward and shocking silence, Demi abruptly shakes his hand and I follow her lead, still trying to make sense of this moment.
“I’ve been sent to relay a message. The Tribal Chief has requested your services for tonight.”
“Services?” The line between Demi’s thoughts and what comes out of her mouth has always been very blurred.
“Yes,” he confirms. In unison we turn just our heads to each other with equal expressions of confusion and disbelief. “You see, The Tribal Chief likes the comfort of company while he’s on the road from time to time.”
“Company, huh?” I catch Demi’s smirk.
“Especially on nights like tonight. You know?” I raise a brow. “All the adrenaline, excitement, and energy from tonight’s match. It's good for him to uh… blow off some steam and unwind.”
I lose count of how many times Demi and I have to exchange looks tonight. Since I’ve met her we’ve always spoke a nonverbal language only we understand. A subtle head nod in the direction of a cute boy in the room, an eye roll when somebody says something problematic, or wide eyes when someone spills tea that we know we’ll have to debrief about later. Tonight, our eyes dance in a mutual agreement that can’t be any clearer. “Hell yeah,” I speak for the first time. 
Demi tosses the lit blunt and we both advance to follow him. “Oh no, I’m sorry. Just you.”
“Me?” I ask with a finger to my chest. He grins slyly nodding.
“I— I don't know.”
“You don’t know?” Demi slaps my arm.
“I’ll need an answer now. Gotta get you to his bus before the real crowd emerges. There’s a few things you need to sign.” Sign? Oh god. This is getting serious.
“M—maybe this is a mix up. Are you sure he asked for me—”
“Bitch.” I’m interrupted by a firm push from Demi toward Paul. My eyes meet her wide ones that scream, “go.”
I look between the both of them. “You’ll be fine getting to the hotel?” I’m not all the way certain how tonight will go, but I have a feeling I won’t be seeing her until tomorrow.
“Girl, don’t worry about me. I’ll always get where I’m going. I should be the last thing on your mind.”
“We can wait until her Uber comes?” I eye Paul who eyes his watch briefly.
“Sure.”
So we wait in silence. The whole time, I bounce the idea of just saying never mind and pussying out, back and forth like tennis. Reading my mind, Demi would eye me and mouth “don’t you dare.” So many things can go wrong. I’m not even entirely sure I know what the hell Paul is talking about. Company? Services? It could mean so many things. Does he want to talk? A massage? Am I going to just sit there on his lap while he watches TV? What if he’s one of those foot guys? Is he going to touch himself while I sit there barefoot? Oh god, please don’t have a foot fetish.
With the exception of tonight, I’ve only ever seen him through a screen. Playing a character. I don’t know him. That’s the reality of it. Am I really about to follow a stranger, Paul Heyman, to accompany another strange man?
After checking that she has the right Uber and sensing she will be safe alone with him, I let her hand go. She gives me one final look before I let her shut the car door. “Make him remember you, bitch.”
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Like a farmer leading its cattle to slaughter, I follow him as he leads me up the steep steps of the bus. A pit of something stirs in my stomach the deeper we walk. Equal parts angst and doom. Like the end of something and the beginning at the same time. We pass the driver’s seat. The floors are a shiny mahogany wood, matching the cabinets of the kitchen area we end up in. Although small, it feels grand. Definitely doesn’t seem like a space this chic belongs in a bus trailer. I guess only the best for the best.
In the midst of admiring the space, I look over to see Paul shuffling some papers around.
“Alright! So I’ll need you to sign this.” He separates one stack from the main one and slides a pen out for me. “Just something that says we’re not responsible for any items lost, damaged, or anything like that.” Everything in me screams to read the thick stack thoroughly before I dare sign my name on the dotted line. I do it anyway, because who even has time for that? Paul is already moving about like he has somewhere to be.
“And this here,” he pushes the signed paper out the way and slides another stack in its place. This one much thicker than the former. I raise a brow. “Don’t worry. It's just a non-disclosure. Nothing discussed, seen, or heard after you sign can be shared with any other persons.”
I look for the expiration date of the legal document and don’t find one. I search and my eyes land on the word indefinitely.
“Indefinitely, huh?” I think deeply about what I am about to agree to. I would only even want to tell Demi and a few other girls from our bookclub maybe that watch WWE. My eyes land on the seven figure lawsuit terms if the NDA is breached. I weigh my options. Spill tea and get fined or secretly get intimate with the man of my dreams…
The pen is smooth as it glides along the dotted line and I cap it before handing it back over to Paul. “Perfect.” He takes it and reorganizes the papers. I blow out a breath looking around again. There’s a grey curtain blocking off the rest of the bus, which I assume holds a bedroom of some sort and a bathroom.
“Is he already here?” I lean to try and get a peak of whats beyond the curtain.
“Nope. He’s doing a bit of press and wrapping some things up backstage. You’ll wait for him here. The driver is inside the building. Probably won’t be back until late tonight. Roman should be back soon.”
“I’m expected to stay here overnight?”
“Totally up to you. I’m sure you and him will figure it out. It’s not like him to spend the night alone though.”
In that moment it becomes clear what I am here to do. My heart lurches at the thought of just sharing a bed and possibly cuddling with him. His big muscular arms wrapped around me. The heat of his breath on the back of my neck and the hardness of his di—
“This wasn’t on the NDA you just signed, but,” he held his hand out between us. “I’m gonna need that phone before I leave.” Of course. I almost change my mind. “Don’t worry. You’ll get it back as soon as it's all over. Definitely before you leave.”
Fuck it. I retrieve my phone from the back pocket of my jeans and he gladly takes it. I don’t need it anyhow. I can’t imagine being in the presence of him anyway and my phone stealing the show. I would forget I even had one.
It's not long before he’s packing everything up, preparing to leave me. A small part doesn’t want him to go. He served as sort of a comfort. Truth be told, my heart is in my ass.
He pulls the curtain back to reveal a chic bedroom set up. If I didn't know any better, I would think we are in a five star hotel and not a bus trailer. 
Everything is a sleek grey with undertones of black. Glossy black wood dresser chest and a matching nightstand. Black wood bed frame and headboard. I run my hand along the dark grey duvet thats just as soft as it looks. 
“I’ll be on my way. You’ll probably see me tomorrow or later tonight. If not someone else will give the phone back.” He waves my phone and turns, but not before pulling the curtain back to close.
I’m all alone now. Theres a flat screen mounted opposite the bed, but the noise won’t do anything but make me more anxious. I want to be able to hear everything going on.
I have the weird urge to go through his suitcase I see sitting upright by the wall. I shake the thought away knowing it's an invasion of privacy. I opt to go through the dresser chest instead. Its empty. I guess he didn’t get a chance to  unpack.
I turn and rest my butt on it, crossing my arms. Minutes go by, and what seems like an hour passes before I hear movement outside the bus. Deep voices talking and then I hear heavy steps heading my way. I straighten up. No, too formal. I sit on the bed legs crossed. No, what am I? An escort?
I stand again and take my original place leaning on the edge of the dresser, just in time for the curtain to pull back. The sight of his large stature so much closer to me than he was in the arena takes my breath away.
He doesn’t say a word. Just looks at me and walks right by me to his suitcase. Then he’s in the bathroom. The sound of him peeing is loud followed by water running. 
Big, tan and burly, he emerges again. He moves with power just oozing off of him, with an authority that just screamed, “I’m in charge.” It's not just a ring persona. Thats just him.
My eyes never leave his tall frame maneuvering around the small space as if I’m not even standing here. He kicks the Jordans off his feet to slip into his slides. His Nike hoodie comes off next and he tosses it on the small loveseat in the corner. His big and cut arms now in full view.
He relieves himself of the contents in his pants pockets. Wallet, keys, some loose change, and a small folded paper all fall on the dresser. He stops for a moment holding out his left hand. He twists the black band off his ring finger and places it in the drawer instead of on top of the dresser with the rest of his things.
Our eyes snag and I immediately shift my attention to my fingers. Twisting and untwisting. Picking at the acrylic on my nails. Anything but looking him in the eye after witnessing that. It's not too late to change my mind. I can stop this. I should, but do I really want to?
The sound of his slides lets me know he’s on the move again. I find him by a minibar area I hadn’t noticed earlier. 
“Is it cold in here?” His deep voice cuts through the silence. It's then I notice I was holding and rubbing my arms as if I was cold. So, he is paying me some kind of attention. Truth is, I’m just trying to keep the goosebumps from a slight panic attack at bay.
“No, it's fine.”
“You feeling alright?” He twists slightly with a raised brow. Probably trying to figure out why I haven’t moved an inch since he walked in here. He’s so calm and cool. I don’t know what I was expecting, but the calmer he is, the more anxious I grow.
“Yeah. Y—yeah, no I’m fine.”
“You spoke to Paul already?”
“Yeah—yes,” I correct myself and clear my throat. I don’t know when it became so damn dry.
I was speaking to his back. The muscles still making themselves known even through the fabric of his black tee. Hair sleeked back into his signature bun. My eyes trail down to his ass. For a man, he has a nice one. I image how he’d look with nothing. The intimacy of him walking around with absolutely nothing on. The afterglow of sex on him. Rock hard abs and tribal tattoo as his only decoration. His manhood swinging freely, semi-hard even after just laying serious wood—
“Then I assume you know why you’re here,” his deep voice cuts my nasty daydream short. 
I can hear him maneuvering glass, but I couldn’t see exactly what he was doing over his big frame. I was too shell shocked to move too much, afraid I might wake up from this fever dream.
“I do,” I answer him. 
If my father knew when he gave his only daughter, his princess, money to enjoy her spring break, that she’d end up alone in the bus of a man who was over ten years her senior, the money would’ve never made it into my hand in the first place. I’m sure this isn’t what he had in mind, but truly this was the best way a young girl could enjoy spring break. An unexpected encounter with an older and wealthier man. My idol. I watched him on TV for years. Gawked at the screen. Liked thousands of edits on Tiktok and Instagram. Dreams of this very moment knowing it couldn’t possibly ever come true. And now here he was. Big in stature and energy right here in front of me. Talking to me. 
Hell yeah, I know what I’m here to do. Even if he didn’t utter a single word and just stripped and nodded to the bed, I’d still get the job done with no shame. What girl in her right mind wouldn’t?
I can hear them now. But he’s married. He has a family. He’s old enough to be your father. They just won’t understand. Demi would. Demi would get it. She always gets it and she always gets me. Having lost her father and sister in a car crash just weeks before moving into the dorms for college, taught her that life was indeed too short. Live freely and take risk, because you don’t know when you won’t be able to. Shit, we’re all gonna die anyway. That’s the mantra she lives by. She’s different and that’s why I attached myself to her. She’s not like everybody else who lives like they’ve already walked the steps to heaven.
This was a more than seldom, once in a lifetime opportunity. I’d think about this night when I’m grey and depleting on my deathbed. I won’t let my head play tricks on me with the opinions of anyone who would do the same thing put in my position. 
It's silent again. I hear liquid being poured for a second. I wonder if Demi made it back to the hotel okay. She’s probably blowing up my phone with a thousand texts trying to figure out whats going on.
So deep in my thoughts I don’t realize he’s making his way to me until he’s right here already. I have to look up to meet his gaze as he stares down at me over the bridge of his nose. He’s so big. He smells divine. It's a masculine type of musk with a cleanliness to it. My breath gets caught in my throat, realizing exactly how close we are. Our shoes were just shy of an inch from touching. My chest rises and falls in anticipation of his next move. 
Without any words, he holds a glass filled with brown liquid out closer to me. I look down at it with just my eyes. I’ve only been twenty-one for two weeks. Didn’t even get the opportunity to sit at a bar so a man could offer me a drink before trying to sleep with me. Who would’ve thought the first offering would come from him. Roman Reigns. Just at that thought, something in me ignited.
I took it, with the intention meaning more than just accepting the drink. I’m accepting the situation. Drawing a line in the sand and disposing of any doubt if there even was any left. I’m doing this. All complications pushed to the back. Tonight he’s not Joe Anoa’i, the married man with five kids. He’s Roman Reigns, undisputed WWE Universal Champion, The Tribal Chief, Main Eventer, Head of the Table…And I’m his biggest fan.
I throw the contents of the glass back, trying my hardest not to make a face from the burning sensation. He gets it down in one big gulp, putting me to shame, as I can’t help watching his Adam’s apple bob up and then down. He’s still just inches from me. I can see every hair on his beard. The slight greying ones are my favorite.
It's so weird seeing him in this state. So lax in his own space. No ring gear. No mean scowl. No Ula Fala around his neck. No championship belt around his waist. Just him. Black tee and sweats to match.
He takes the glass back and places them both behind me on the dresser top. Without warning, he’s on me. His tongue shoves past my lips saying to hell with formalities. No warm up. Straight to business.
“Mm,” I groan from shock. My natural instinct from being so caught off guard is to create some space, but a firm hand gripping the base of my neck keeps me in place.
He immediately asserts dominance, caressing every part of my body his hands can reach like he owns it. My neck, my shoulders, my back, and all the way down to my ass with a firm squeeze that separates my pussy lips. All the while still assaulting my mouth with his warm tongue. The tang of the alcohol still lingering. I fight for some control in the kiss but it's no use. He’s too much for me.
Everywhere his strong hands make contact, it leaves a spark until my whole body feels like it's on fire. Damn, that drink was strong. He pulls away from the kiss completely after one last soft, open mouthed peck. Like a magnet, my eyes find the thick bulge in his black sweats and I grow even more excited. 
He drops to his knees in front of me and my breath hitches when his cold fingertips find their way up my shirt. A trail of kisses with a slight tickle from his beard follow up and up until I raise my arms for him to take the shirt off completely.
He’s back on his feet, turning me so my back is facing him. My breathing grows erratic. This is really happening. 
“Lights,” his voice rumbles behind me. The bright lights turn off but there's little lamps set up in the small space allowing a cast bright enough to see still.
The black lace bra I wear is unhooked in a matter of seconds. Who knew when I put it on this morning, that Roman Reigns himself would be taking it off come night. With a firm grip on my hips he turns me back to face him. 
Being well endowed up top from such a young age, my natural instinct is to cover myself. I always thought they were a bit big for my body. Standing at five foot seven, I was only one hundred and fifty pounds. A lot of my weight being carried up top from these double D’s. When all the girls in middle school were just filling in, I was a full D cup. I noticed how boys would stare. Older men too. It would make me uncomfortable. Always thinking of ways to cover them or make them appear smaller.
Avoiding eye contact is useless. His eyes are like magnets. Like the sun. Just beaming down on me, making them impossible to evade. So I stare back at him. We stay like this for a while. Just watching one another in silence. The air is smoky with lust and pure ecstasy. 
His hands cover mine and slowly drag them down to reveal my breast. Round, surprisingly perky, with fully erect chocolate nipples, creating a contrast to my caramel complexion. They steal the show as his eyes shoot to them immediately while he breathes deep from his nose. 
I can feel his energy shift from passionate to pure animalistic. When his entire mouth covers one nipple, I lose all my sense. My head rolls back and instinctively I bring a hand to the back of his head. A rough hand cups and caresses my breast while he’s still latched on. I watch in awe as his thick tongue sticks out to flick and play with it before sucking again.
He’s expertly unbuttoning my jeans with his other hand as I feel the snag of him trying to pull them down. I step out of my shoes to help him and reveal the black thong I am not even accustomed to wearing. I’m more of a a boy shorts or Walmart pack panties kind of girl. I just so happen to have forgotten to pack them and had to borrow a pair from Demi. 
Bending down must be uncomfortable, since he grips the back of my knees to hike me up like I  weigh absolutely nothing. He gives more attention to my chest, sucking until my nipples are sore, before his tongue is in my mouth exploring again. We’re moving now, I assume towards the bed. With every step, his erection rubs against me leaving me clenching and needy.
My back meets the unbelievably soft bed. I practically sink into it, watching him rear back to remove his shirt and show off that god-like body. Mountains and valleys of muscle in his abdomen placed perfectly like someone sculpted him with their bare hands. His bun hangs a little looser now.
His long fingers loop the waistband of my panties and we lock eyes. His stare is intense saying what his lips didn’t. I nod once. I’m doing this.
Almost in slow motion he pulls them down my legs, his eyes not leaving mine until the very last second. His attention is stolen by the sight of me down there.
“You’re soaking.” He uses the butt of his thumb to circle my clit. I jump slightly at the sudden contact. “That’s all for me?” He locks eyes with me again, expecting an answer and all I can do is nod frantically while biting down hard on my bottom lip. I can’t keep still. My body is on fire under his touch and his gaze. Eyes dark with passion, he squints watching me squirm every time he speeds the rhythm of his thumb up or down.
“Fuck,” I move my hips to the rhythm of his hand and grab one of my breast.
His thick tongue snakes out to lick his pink lips like he did earlier in the arena and I almost cum on sight. I look on in shock watching how he licks his thumb clean like he just ate Doritos and he’s discarding the remnants of them. A small groan of pleasure leaves his throat. I must be dreaming.
Climbing off the bed hastily, he tugs his pants and red briefs down at once and his dick pops up on recoil. My pussy clenches around nothing in anticipation for her next guest. Long, thick and tanned just like the rest of him. Mouthwatering. I never had the urge to taste something so bad in my life.
I can tell there’s no time for that though. He’s anxious now. I can feel the heat and need radiating off his body as if his stiff, vein-filled dick didn’t already tell on him.
With a tight grip on my ankle, he flips me over abruptly. Of course. Missionary would’ve been way too intimate for the circumstances.
On instinct I get up on all fours, deepening the arch to an almost painful degree so the view is nice for him. A smack so hard I jerk forward a bit, lets me know he’s satisfied with what he sees.
“All this ass,” he mumbles rubbing my behind in circles and even giving it a little shake. 
He runs his long fingers up and down the slickness with ease. A groan leaves my throat as I grow impatient. I know I should want this to last as long as humanly possible, but I can’t fight this storm inside of me. I’ve wondered too long about it, daydreamed about it, and even touched myself in imagination before at the thought of this man I only knew through a TV screen.
I sway back and forth slightly waiting and listening to the sound of a wrapper and a slight pop. I have no time to prepare. The bed dips with the weight of him back on it. His thick head is at my opening, rubbing from my clit to almost my asshole. He only does this three good times before I’m practically ripped apart.
“Ouu!” A mix of a moan and something I’ve never heard from myself fills the room. He roughly takes the hand I thought I would use to push him and pins it behind me.
My throat goes dry. God damn. He’s fucking huge and unforgiving. Even with the slow pace he’s pushing into me combined with my wetness, it still feels like he’s breaking me apart from the inside out. 
“Breathe,” he coaches. If possible a gush of wetness rushes out from the sound of his voice, bringing me back to the situation at hand. I have to make it work for him. 
I bite down on the expensive grey covers as he pulls completely out and then back in. “Mm!” 
He finds his rhythm, as he’s able to glide in and out. I try to match him once the pain subsides. I glance back to catch his full bottom lip caught between his teeth. The muscles in his chest working as a sheen of sweat starts to form.
I work harder now. The sight of him turning me on more than ever, opening me up like a wildflower. 
“Let me hear you. I wanna hear you,” he grunts out almost desperately. The vulnerability in his rough voice drawing more heat and wetness from my core. I moan louder than I intended and shock myself. I’m not usually verbal in bed. Maybe a little cry or whimper here and there. This shit feels too good to be demure and delicate about. 
I obey his order and release the moan that I didn’t even know I’m suppressing. It's not forced or fabricated. I genuinely feel so good in this moment I can only moan in response. 
His strokes are primal. Animalistic like a lion in the wild taking whats his. And he’s so fucking big. In aura and size. The ways his body envelopes mine makes me feel smaller than I really am. His thickness stretching me in a way I didn’t think was possible.
“Oh, fuck!” I yell out. His hand tangles in my hair and stretches my gaze up, giving him full view of my desperate face.
“Tell me how good it feels,” he demands. 
“Oh my god,” I pant. “It's so fucking good,” I struggle to get out. Every thrust steals my breath. He aims for the perfect spot every time and doesn’t miss. The smack of our bodies colliding ring loud in the silent space.
“Louder, baby,” he grunts diving deeper.
“I can feel you everywhere. You feel so good! Unh!”
“Atta girl.” The rumble of his voice sends a vibration straight to my core. My pussy clenches down from his words. To add insult to injury, a large and slightly calloused hand finds its way up my stomach to cup my breast. He pinches, twists and rolls my nipple around like he’s playing with a toy. As if my pussy isn’t becoming dangerously wetter already.
He removes the hold in my hair, trailing to my hip. His thumb presses down hard while guiding me back and forth on him. He gives me his all and I return the favor, using the unstable grip I have on the duvet to leverage me as I throw my ass back on him to catch.
The friction of his balls slapping sloppily against my clit built up enough pressure for a pending orgasm. With one strong hand still on my hip, he uses his free one to shove my face down to the bed making me lose any power I had in this fight.
His front collides with my ass, causing a consistent slapping. Anyone walking on the bus could easily tell whats going on now. His grunts, my pants, the consistent slapping. These were sounds of fucking. 
“Fuck me! Yesss!” I don’t recognize myself. He’s awakening something in me. A familiar tinging stirs in the pit of my stomach. If he keeps on, it won’t be long until I explode all over his thick dick.
“Yeah?” He whispers.
“Yeah,” I whimper in response.
He goes harder than ever before, his strokes less uniform and more wild. My mouth falls wide open at the intensity and perfect mix of pain and pleasure.
His hips continue to snap against me and if possible I feel him grow harder inside me. His fingertips dig into me so hard I know there’ll be bruises tomorrow. 
“Urghh!” A guttural moan erupts from him, urging me to fuck him through his release even as his movements slow. I study his facial expressions and record them in my brain to take home with me as a souvenir. He stretches his neck with eyes shut tightly. That fucking tongue. Whisking out to flatten over his top lip before he bites down on his bottom one. Chest heaving up and down with the muscles in his abdomen flexing with every breath. 
“So fucking good,” he says more to himself. He delivers another hard spank to my ass before I feel him ease out of me, hissing slightly at the sudden disconnect and absence of him. The pit of my stomach heavy still with the lingering orgasm that was cut short. 
I’ve had sex with guys before and never got to finish. I’d leave unsatisfied and almost regretting the encounter completely. This is different. I’m here for him. I’d fulfill his needs and drain him even if it meant I left with nothing but a wet ass. 
The bed creaks a little, letting me know he got up completely. Just when I think the night is over, my mouth falls open at the sensation of his hot mouth covering my entire pussy. His tongue slithers out to graze my distended clit.
“Mm, shit,” I cry out, shaking. I’m so sensitive. Any little sensation sends my body into overdrive. Every lick draws a mini release. When I finally get to the edge I know I’ll fall completely apart. The hair from his beard tickles me, only heightening the sensations. I feel nothing but pure pleasure.
A strong hand comes down on my left ass cheek and I whimper on impact. He squeezes it in a firm gip to move me up and down in a steady rhythm on his flattened tongue.
“Oh, fuck yeah,” I cry. I let my head hang down unable to keep it up any longer. All I can do, feel, and think about in this moments is how good he feels to me. Guys my age always need a crash course on how to eat pussy. Always too much spit, they couldn’t find my clit, or the torturous shaking of the head like a rabid dog.
Roman is eating me like I’m his last meal. Touching spots I didn’t even know a tongue could reach. With the way he’s grabbing me and rocking me on his stiff tongue, he’s damn near fucking me with it. We’re two complete strangers. The power dynamic is completely off. He’s the billionaire WWE superstar and I’m the underpaid and overworked fan in college. Somehow he’s still taking the time to worship my body and give me his all as if he’s the one who has something to prove. 
The dick was mind-blowing. Oh, but the head will be the death of me. That same tongue he wags and flicks on live television, exploring me. Tonight is an absolute fairytale. If I didn’t know any better, I would think he could read my mind. He knows exactly what I want and how I want it.
In only a matter of seconds a tornado of heat swirls in my core. I rock back and forth on his mouth before he sucks relentlessly on my sensitive bud nonstop.
“Unnhh!” An uncontrollable shake erupts from me as I see stars. The world goes completely blank for a while as I relish in the ecstasy of my orgasm granted by the Tribal Chief himself. Tonight, I acknowledge him and his mouth.
“Oh my god,” I whisper in between pants coming to my senses. A small laugh leaves my throat at the way I just lost myself in front of him.
I turn to find him in the middle of snatching the cream covered condom off. His big dick bobs up and down from the snatch, fully erect again. 
We got one night only.
Like a lioness on the prowl in the jungle, I eye him, crawling to the edge of the king bed where he stands. I stop just in front where my mouth aligns to his thickness, still eyeing him, making sure it's okay. He nods giving me the green light and even holds the base in his strong hand to bring it closer to my lips.
I let a glob of spit form and fall freely on his thick mushroom tip. Before it can drip, I catch it on the underside and lick from tip to base, to the tip again. His hips push forward impatiently. 
“Open.” It's not a question so I don’t test him. His face is hard, but his eyes are desperate. As soon as my lips part he shoves himself all the way in like he owns my entire mouth. He draws out and I hallow my cheeks to keep it in as long as possible until I release him with a pop. 
“Stick your tongue out for me.” I oblige and he slides his heavy dick across it gathering spit before pushing back down my mouth. A pulse grows in my clit again. A revival from seeing the remains of the mess I made in his thick beard.
“It's so good,” I tell him while slapping it on my tongue for him, earning a groan. The skin of him is soft as he stretches my mouth. I can taste the salty precum and I cant wait for the rest of it. I never trusted a man to release his bodily fluids in me in any way. It kind of grossed me out. Oh, but not tonight. He can release wherever he chooses.
Using one hand to twist in tandem with sucking him, I study every change in his expression, every pattern of his breath to record what feels the best to him.
“Go ‘head,” he urges in a low guttural tone. “Just like that. Take it all the way down. Don’t stop, babygirl.” That’s all I need to hear. 
The eye contact is so deep it puts me in a trance. In a constant and fluid motion I take him in and out, making sure he reaches the back of my throat every time. In and out. In and out. In and out. The sounds of spit and his heavy breathing take charge of the room.
His body stiffens a bit and I can feel him get harder on my tongue. Deliberately I take him as far as possible and stay there until I make myself choke. The contracting of my throat around his thick head sends him completely off the rails. He breaks our bubble, throwing his head back to the ceiling.
“Mmm. Aw fuck!” A strong hand grabs a fistful of my hair, making it impossible for me to move.  Thick ropes of his warm cum shoot down my throat and all around my mouth. “Ahh,” he groans out with a hiss jerking his hips forward a few good times. “Oh my god,” he blows out a heavy breath and lets his hands rest on his hips. 
I’ve made dean’s list, honor roll all throughout high school, medals of all kind from track decorate the walls of my bedroom in my parents’ house. None of those accomplishments compare to the sight I just witnessed. The Roman Reign’s spent and sexually exhausted because of little ole me.
“Let me see,” he whispers while watching me suck the last of it out. I open wide and stick my tongue out so he can see his cum on it. His massive dick jumps at the sight. I feel the warmth of some of it seeping out and running down my chin.
“Don’t move,” he instructs. Like his obedient soldier I stay put, only looking around with one good eye. The other shut tight so none of his cum could invade it.
When he emerges again, he has a wet cloth in hand. Gently but still firm he wipes my face clean of him and my tears that slipped from the intensity of choking. Who knew the Tribal Chief is into aftercare?
A squeal escapes me from being lifted into the air and over his broad shoulder. I’m hanging as he moves us about. There’s no way that any of this is happening. 
The shower starts to run. Even upside down I can see the marble walls and waterfall shower head raining down.
“You care about your hair getting wet?”
“No,” I strain to get out with his shoulder digging into my stomach. He chuckles so softly, I would’ve missed it if I couldn’t feel it from being on him. 
He fucks me for hours in the shower. My back against the wall. In the air. Face against the tiles. On all fours again. I guess older men carry more stamina. The water cascaded from up top on us both while we locked tongues passionately, breathing in each other’s air. 
He was in control the whole time. He flipped me every way he wanted me to go. Told me what to do, never asking. I’m left a wet, quivering mess at the end of it all.
I don’t realize how exhausted I am until he asks if I want to stay the night. I think about getting dressed and leaving, but the bed is impossibly plush and the sight of him naked still is impossibly sexy. Even better than I imagined.
I threw cuddling out the window once I seen his stoic nature and how he moved about earlier like this was just a business deal. He lays in the bed, still naked on his back with muscular arms slightly stretched. I lay on my stomach beside him trying to get comfortable. My heart thumps out my chest knowing he’s still here with me and so accessible. We literally just violated each other in the nastiest way possible and now we lay in bed not even touching.
His heavy breaths and light snore fill the room in no time creating a sort of white noise for me to descend to. 
Some time in the middle of the night, I don know how, but those light snores ended up right in my ear. His breath hot on top of my head, accompanied by a very heavy arm over my hip. 
My heart smiled and my face caught fire. It was so intimate. Undeniably my favorite part of the night. I shifted as quietly as I possibly could, inch by inch, until I was facing him. His bun fell completely apart, leaving his dried and fluffy curls cascading over his shoulders and the plush pillows. I make out what I can in the dark of his sharp features. I never seen him so relaxed. In the ring he’s always tense, always painted with tyranny and stress, but not right now. He almost looked like an angel.
I make a mental image of him. This is exactly how I want to remember him— how I want to remember this unpredictable night. This is the part that even if I could tell it, I don’t think anyone would even believe me. Burying my face into his chest, I breathe deep, trying to imprint his smell into my brain like ink on the skin. 
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The loud voices of men I don’t recognize, serve as my alarm clock. Eyes still shut, flashes of the night before and the soreness of my body, warp me back to reality. Oh, shit.
I shoot up from the pillow to scan the room, keeping the covers close to my naked chest. His suitcase still stood in the corner, but there’s no trace of him. No water running. His slides are gone. The thick curtain shields me from the rest of the bus.
6:07 AM flashes on the digital clock of the now cleared nightstand. 
It's not like I was expecting this grand goodbye. The man didn’t even say hello to begin with. I thought I could at least see him one last good time before I leave LA for good.
I attempt to rise up, but something crinkling under my palm stops me. I grab the sheet of notepad paper and rub my eyes before reading the contents of it.
Thanks for last night. Joe. 
Short and simple. In the corner, two cursive R’s as a signature. I neatly fold the paper and drop it into the pocket of my jeans I find folded on the chest dresser. I want that paper with me everywhere I go. A small piece of the whole experience. A subtle reminder of the best night of my life.
Every part of me wants to feel bad. How could I let him just use me for his needs for a night and then discard me like it was nothing? I should feel low. Cheap. But thats not even the kind of girl I am. The glass is always half full to me. Last night was arguably the best night of my young life. I’ve never known such adventure. I never felt more free—more like a woman.
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I flop down in my bed still in a daze from the events of last weekend. Demi had a million and one questions. The NDA kept me from spilling. Even if I could’ve given her a play by play of how the night went, I don’t think I would’ve. Demi and I have the kind of bond thats void of any secrets. But that night with him was so special to me, I want to keep it for myself. Something for just me and him. It makes it more magical when only we know what happened. I just want to soak and bathe in it all. 
Light as a feather I stare at my ceiling, letting the flashbacks corrupt me. The feel of his soft skin. The smell of him. His grunts and pants. His hands caressing and gripping my ass. The warmth of his tongue filling my mouth. I blow out a breath getting worked up again. I’ve touched myself countless times since that night to the memory of his voice and his energy. He was just so damn good. So much man and dominance, but still gentle and cautious. 
After we touched back down in New York, it was back to reality. But that didn’t stop me from walking on a cloud. You can’t tell me shit. I fucked the Roman Reigns. Drained him and swallowed the aftermath. How’s that for a spring break?
It's currently Thursday. Almost a week has passed since the greatest night of my young life. I just got back from the gym with Demi. She’s pressed me every single day since that night, but I won’t budge. The confines of the NDA keeping me stronger than I normally would be. 
Tomorrow is Smackdown at the Garden, but it's unclear if Roman will even be in attendance. He takes so many hiatuses it's really a hit or miss with him. Demi asked if we should go, but I declined not wanting to spend the money I didn’t have just for him not to even show.
A sudden dread came over me knowing that he couldn’t possibly be thinking of me even half as much as I’ve thought of him. He’s overridden my mind. I’ve obsessed over every little detail and played it back a thousand times, while he doesn’t even know my name. 
Paul said it himself. He likes the comfort of company while he’s on the road. All the times he has to travel for work, cameras in his face nonstop, and body aching from all the physical exhaustion, I’m sure he always has to release the tension somehow. I’m just one of many. 
I knew that going into it. I know I’m not special, but I tried my hardest to be. I did what I could to make him remember me. Constant eye contact, carrying out his every command, throwing this ass back as hard as I could and sucking the soul out of him.
A violent buzz of my phone snaps me out of my daze. I feel for it on the covers. My eyebrows dent at the message notification from a number I don’t recognize, causing me to unlock it.
Your Tribal Chief has requested your services again. 
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Sorry for that long ass disclaimer lol. It’s a shame I even have to include that, but I literally watched a girl argue with an author on here about promoting adultery and cheating simply because a character was cheating. Like, it’s a story?? It’s a fictional character?? Don't read it??
If you read it or even just parts of it, I really am appreciative. Pls like or reblog. Feedback is greatly appreciated. Please remember I am an artist…and I’m sensitive about my shit lol 💋
banner credit:  @animatedglittergraphics-n-more
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lovebugism · 6 months ago
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saw you were looking for shy!reader requests and now I'm having visions of nighttime colorful twinkly lights, snow swirling in the frigid air, frost-bitten noses and tentative glances...
what about reader getting roped into holiday caroling with the gang, including her crush, Eddie? Or some other festive outdoor activity, preferably one which allows them to subtly get closer to each other without giving away their feelings 🤭 I'm feeling those 'will we won't we' vibes tonight hehe
wow. here's me casually writing a wee drabble for someone who's written some of my favorite works on this app lol. hope you like it angel :D !! — eddie keeps shy!you company during a holiday party at the wheeler house (friends to lovers, fluff | 0.9k)
The weirdo has a soft spot for the princess.
The Princess, he calls you, ‘cause Mike once convinced you to sub in on a D&D campaign some months ago now. You were a rebellious fairy from a clan of royal fae sent to guide the rag-tag troop through an enchanted, labyrinthine forest. 
You had dressed the part, too, despite having zero knowledge of the game itself. You waltzed into the Hellfire room in a flouncy pink dress, iridescent fairy wings from last halloween, and a crown of artificial flowers.
Eddie remembers you that way, still. A sweet and timid thing, with a big heart and a pretty laugh. Even now, as you sit all alone in the Wheeler’s backyard, away from all the chaos and the twinkling lights, bathed beneath a glowing pink sky and sparkling snow — you’re still such an ethereal thing. A heavenly being, flung from space.
He weaves through the quaint party and over to you, carrying a steaming cup of cocoa in one hand and his bleeding heart in the other. 
“How’s it going over here?” Eddie asks over the soft holiday music playing closer to the crowd.
You blink up at him with wide, glassy eyes, as though he’s just jolted you out of some sort of daze. “Oh. Yeah. Fine,” you stammer finally, smile wavering when Eddie’s lopsided grin makes you forget how to breathe. 
You tug the blanket tighter around your shoulders with cold and clammy hands. Hiding feels instinctual to you now.
“Freezing to death?” the boy quips and fights to keep his own teeth from chattering.
The sight of him before you, with snowflakes clinging to his curls and his pale skin softly flushed with wintertime, makes you smile more sincerely than you mean to.
“Something like that,” you nod.
Eddie extends a ringed hand towards you then, offering the paper cup of hot chocolate keeping his aching fingers warm. “Want some?”
“Oh, no— It’s okay,” you decline with a polite shake of your head while your chest blazes with misplaced embarrassment. “I— I can get my own.”
“Well, between us, I didn’t really want it in the first place,” Eddie confesses lowly, taking another step closer until you can smell the deep musk of his cologne. You tilt your chin to follow his gaze. “Little Holly offered me a cup, and I didn’t know how to say no.”
The thought of Eddie Munson, in all his daunting black and silver, having a sweet spot for the youngest Wheeler (whom he exclusively refers to as Little Holly) makes your chest go all warm. 
Holly has her own innocent affections for him, too — you know for a fact she’s got an obsession with his bat tattoo that’s driving Ted insane.
You duck your head in a feeble attempt to hide your smile. Eddie sees it anyway, though, and smiles at your smiling, perhaps wider than he realizes. 
You take the cocoa from him with gentle, trembling hands. His heart skips a beat when your fingers brush over the back of his own. Yours stops entirely when he sits down on the bench beside you — not unwelcome, of course, but more wanted next to you than you’d ever be willing to admit out loud.
Eddie hisses through his teeth and tenses beside you through a shiver. You watch him stick his pale hands in the pocket of his thin leather jacket, which he wears in spite of the inclement weather.
“Are you sure you don’t want another jacket?” you wonder sheepishly, peering at the boy through the corner of your eye.
“I’m good, princess,” he insists with a shake of his head, just before his glowing nose sniffles. “I’m a rockstar, remember? Rockstars don’t get cold.”
“Really?” you hum, quiet and sarcastic.
“Yeah. Freezing to death is, like, the least metal thing ever. It’s like, you know, using an umbrella when it’s raining— It just makes you ten times less cool.”
You shift on the creaking bench and smile at your cup of cocoa. “Well, me and the ladybug umbrella I’ve had since I was nine respectfully disagree,” you joke in shy murmurs, still so meek in humor.
Eddie laughs. You feel him trembling with it beside you from where his shoulder’s pressed against yours. You see his teeth chattering just before he lifts his hands over his mouth, breathing hard into his palms in a desperate attempt to warm them.
Your hands ache with the sudden urge to cover him up. They tremble with uncertainty when you drag the borrowed blanket from your left shoulder to drape the excess along his back. Eddie peers at you with a chocolate button-eyed look as you shift closer into him, made warm and alive by your proximity alone. He’s grateful for the act of kindness, still.
“Thanks,” he mumbles, gaze averted and cheeks pink. You’d almost think he was shy.
“Don’t mention it,” you murmur back and mean it.
“You know…” the boy lilts, nicotine-spearmint breath fanning warm across your cheek. You can hear the smile in his voice without ever even looking at him. “If you just wanted to be close to me, you coulda just said.”
You flash him a stern look from beneath your lashes, which still manages to look just as soft as the rest of you. You try not to think about how close he is to you now — close enough to make out every distinct shape of the snowflakes sticking to his wild hair.
“Don’t make it weird,” you plea through a deadpan.
“That’s a lot to ask of the local weirdo,” Eddie scoffs. “I mean, it’s kinda in the name, princess.”
“Sorry for not wanting you to freeze to death.”
Eddie meets your narrowed eyes with a crooked, pink grin dripping with mischief. 
“I like you, too, princess,” he croons quietly.
Your chest pinches. You have to remind yourself to breathe. “I didn’t say that,” you shake your head and turn away, looking back to the crowd mingling beneath falling snow and fairy lights. You don’t know why Eddie would want to be here with you, instead of over there with them. 
Eddie doesn’t know how he could want a single other thing than to be here with you.
“Didn’t have to,” you hear him say as he pulls the blanket tighter over his shoulder and shuffles closer into you. For warmth, you tell yourself. For warmth and not a damn thing else.
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hamilton-here · 1 day ago
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heyyy i hope youre doing fine now :))) before i forget this (lol) can I request a reader x lewis with a comfortxangst that whenever lewis is on the track he doesnt mind if he can get injured or hurt while reader has been telling him to be careful and theyre always arguing over it and when he gets into a nasty crash reader reveals that she's pregnant and he'll be more careful now i just think this will be a reminder that f1 is a highly dangerous sportttt u can do this anytime u feel like it thank uuuu
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𝒞𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝐻𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒰𝓈
Authors Note: Hey everyone, I'm alive! I will be opening requests later tonight. Though I still have three to do after this one. Hopefully this meets your request. I hope you're all well. Lots of love xx
Summary: Lewis Hamilton learns to race to come home after discovering he’s going to be a father.
Warnings: angst, mentions of swearing, mentions of crash
Taglist: @piston-cup @hannibeeblog @nebulastarr @cosmichughes
MASTERLIST
࣪𓏲ᥫ᭡ ₊ ⊹ ˑ ִ ֶ 𓂃࣪𓏲ᥫ᭡ ₊ ⊹ ˑ ִ ֶ 𓂃࣪𓏲ᥫ᭡ ₊ ⊹ ˑ ࣪𓏲ᥫ᭡ ₊ ⊹ ˑ ִ ֶ 𓂃࣪𓏲ᥫ᭡ ₊
You had always known that loving Lewis Hamilton came with risks.
It wasn’t just the time zones or the endless race weekends. It wasn’t the relentless moving, the constant packing and unpacking, the brief kisses goodbye that always tasted like he was already half gone.
It was what he chased. The high-speed danger of Formula 1. The knowledge that every time he stepped into that cockpit, he was gambling with gravity, dancing on the edge of control.
And still, you loved him.
You loved him because he was that person. Fearless. Passionate. Relentless. A man who didn’t know how to step back from a fight, who didn’t know how to race at anything less than the limit.
But that edge, the one that had drawn you to him like a moth to flame, had started to scare you now. It used to be thrilling to watch him thread the car through gaps that didn’t exist, to see him make impossible moves look effortless. You used to sit on the pit wall with your heart racing, smiling through your adrenaline-soaked nerves.
But now?
Now the thrill had warped into dread.
Lewis was older now.
In his Ferrari era, wearing the red that somehow made him look even more untouchable. The fire still burned in him, maybe brighter than ever but it had changed. He wasn’t chasing numbers anymore. He wasn’t chasing records.
He was chasing something more personal. Legacy. Purpose. A mark that no one could ever erase.
You had admired that. You still did. But lately, you’d started to hate what it could cost.
You.
“Be careful today,” you said softly, your fingertips grazing the tattoo on his chest as he zipped up his race suit, the Ferrari crest sitting proudly over his heart.
The Maranello red suited him. Too well. Like he’d always been meant to wear it. Like he was born to be exactly here, in this era, fighting for something only he could see.
He caught your eyes in the mirror and smiled - that easy, boyish smile that always seemed to dissolve your nerves. It was infuriating. It was comforting.
It was Lewis.
“Always am.”
You shook your head, pressing your lips together to keep them from trembling. “That’s not true.”
You sat down on the edge of the hotel bed, wringing your hands in your lap as the words gathered thickly in your throat.
“You take risks you don’t need to. You push when you don’t have to.”
His back stiffened just slightly as he adjusted the collar of his suit, eyes flicking down to his gloves as if focusing on something else would make this conversation pass quicker.
“It’s what I do,” he said quietly, not looking at you. “It’s who I am.”
“It’s dangerous.”
“It’s racing.”
“And racing can kill you.”
The words came out harder than you’d intended, but they were sitting on your chest like a weight, and you couldn’t hold them in anymore.
You needed him to hear you. Really hear you.
He turned toward you slowly, his expression softening, like he’d expected this argument but still didn’t know how to solve it. “You can’t think like that, baby. If I go out there scared, I won’t be me anymore. I can’t race like that. You know that.”
Your fingernails dug into your palms, your skin pinching painfully, the only thing grounding you in this moment. “Then what am I supposed to do? Sit here every weekend waiting for the phone call that you’re not coming back?”
His face dropped just slightly, a flicker of something like guilt, maybe shadowing his eyes.
“You’ve never gotten that phone call,” he said softly, almost like he was trying to convince himself.
“But one day I could.”
The words landed like a crack of thunder, final and brutal.
You’d both been tiptoeing around this truth for too long. You couldn’t keep pretending it wasn’t clawing at you, waiting at the edge of every race weekend. The silence that stretched between you was suffocating. It thinned the air like you were both standing at the top of Eau Rouge, hearts in your throats, waiting for the drop.
Lewis finally crossed the room, crouching in front of you, his warm hands resting on your knees as he looked up at you like you were the only thing anchoring him to the earth.
“Look at me,” he said gently, his thumbs stroking soft circles against your skin. “I know you’re scared. I know. But I need you to trust me. I’ve been doing this a long time. I know what I’m doing.”
You looked into his eyes, those deep, familiar eyes that had always made you feel safe.
But this wasn’t about trust. It was about probability. Followed about the brutal, unforgiving statistics of a sport that took as much as it gave.
“You’re not twenty-five anymore, Lewis,” you whispered, your voice tight and trembling. “Your body can’t bounce back the way it used to.”
He exhaled a soft, almost amused laugh, but you could see the flicker of frustration tightening his jaw. “You sound like my physio.”
“Maybe she’s right.”
His hands squeezed yours, as if he could physically press reassurance into you. “I’ve got this, love. Don’t worry so much.”
But you did. You always did.
You worried through every corner, every pit stop, every time the camera cut to his onboard view, and you saw him chasing every millimetre like it was oxygen.
You worried because you loved him.
And the worst part? You didn’t even know yet that you were worrying for two.
However, it kept happening. Race after race. Argument after argument. Like clockwork.
You told yourself it was just the pressure of the season and the weight of Ferrari’s expectations pressing against his shoulders. Or the noise of the media questioning if he could still deliver at this stage of his career, the brutal self-imposed bar that Lewis never stopped raising.
You told yourself it was temporary.
You told yourself he would slow down.
But the more you watched him, the more you realised this wasn’t new at all.
Lewis had always raced like he didn’t care what happened to him.
And the terrible consequence?
You’d fallen in love with him because of that edge.
The way he danced so close to the line no one else dared to touch. The way he made you feel like the impossible was always just within reach.
But love changes things. Love rearranges your priorities. What used to thrill you now terrified you.
It was after the Spanish Grand Prix when the next argument exploded.
You waited for him in his driver’s room, the race replay still playing on mute on the little screen in the corner, but neither of you were paying attention. You’d seen it all live.
You’d seen him fight tooth and nail into Turn 3, holding a defensive line most drivers would’ve abandoned, forcing the other car wide, balancing on the edge of disaster.
You’d seen him almost lose control.
You’d felt your lungs collapse in that split second.
You’d felt your heart stop.
“You could’ve gone into the wall!” Your voice cracked, the panic still clawing its way up your throat, your whole-body trembling with leftover adrenaline.
“But I didn’t,” he said simply, pulling off his gloves, peeling away his sweat-soaked balaclava like it was just another Sunday.
“You didn’t this time.”
He turned to you sharply, exhaustion painting his features, his patience threadbare. “What do you want me to do? Let them pass me? Sit back and wave them through?”
You swallowed hard, your heart thudding painfully in your chest. “I want you to come home.”
His jaw clenched, his mouth flattening into a hard, unreadable line. “You knew what this was when you met me.”
“I didn’t know it would kill me slowly like this.”
The silence that followed was heavy. Stifling.
His voice dropped to something low, something brittle. “You think I don’t know what’s at stake every time I get in that car? I’m not stupid.”
“Then why don’t you drive like you care whether you come back?”
His head snapped toward you like you’d slapped him. For a long, suffocating moment, neither of you moved. Neither of you blinked. You felt like you’d crossed some invisible line.
His voice cracked. “I have to race like this. I can’t back down. If I start thinking about what I could lose, I won’t be me anymore.”
You stepped closer, tears stinging the corners of your eyes. “You wouldn’t lose me, Lewis. You’d keep me. That’s the point.”
His shoulders sagged like something inside him had caved in. “But I’d lose me.”
It hit you then, like a gut punch. You weren’t just fighting for his safety. You were fighting against the very thing that made him him.
The argument fizzled out, not because you’d resolved it, but because you both knew there was nothing else to say.
That night, when you finally crawled into bed. Lewis wrapped his arm tightly around your waist, pulling you so close it almost hurt, as if holding you would stop the ground from crumbling underneath him.
You pressed a soft kiss to the inside of his wrist, right over the flutter of his pulse. “I’m sorry I keep bringing it up.”
His lips brushed the bare skin of your shoulder, his voice barely a whisper. “I’m sorry I keep making you.”
You both meant it.
But deep down, you knew you’d fight about it again. Because what else could you do? Except keep loving him and praying that one day, he’d finally want to stay.
What neither of you knew then - was that soon, he’d have more to lose than just himself. And you didn’t know it yet, but that knowledge was already beginning to grow inside you.
It started small. So small you barely noticed.
The first time it hit you, you were standing in the kitchen of your Monaco apartment, the pale morning light spilling through the open balcony doors, the breeze carrying the faint scent of saltwater and sun-soaked pavement. You were making coffee just like you always did and pouring Lewis’s favourite beans into the machine, savouring the quiet hum of routine.
But when the coffee began to brew, the bitter familiar aroma suddenly twisted your stomach into tight, unforgiving knots. The sharp nausea hit you so hard and fast you had to grip the counter to steady yourself.
It passed quickly, but it left you shaken. But you brushed it off.
Maybe you hadn’t eaten enough. Maybe you were just overtired. Maybe it was the stress of the season building to a breaking point - the endless race weekends, the airports, the arguments that seemed to linger in the air long after they’d ended.
Maybe it was the weight of loving someone like Lewis Hamilton.
But the nausea didn’t fade. It returned the next day. And the day after that. It lingered when it shouldn’t have, curling around your mornings like smoke, settling in the back of your throat.
You told yourself it was nothing. You told yourself you were being dramatic.
Until you couldn’t tell yourself that anymore.
The exhaustion crept in slowly too.
It wasn’t just tired but was bone-deep, dragging your body down like gravity had doubled its pull on you. No amount of sleep seemed to fix it. No amount of quiet seemed to refill the empty places. You found yourself lying awake long after Lewis had fallen asleep, staring at the ceiling, one hand resting absently over your stomach as though some part of you already knew before you dared to say it out loud.
You’d been keeping track in the back of your mind, but you hadn’t wanted to really look at the dates. You hadn’t wanted to connect the dots. Because what if you were wrong? And worse, what if you weren’t?
Until one quiet Wednesday morning.
Lewis had gone out cycling along the Monaco coast - a ritual, something he always did when the pressure got too loud in his head. He’d kissed your temple before he left, his curls still damp from the shower, his skin warm and real beneath your fingertips.
You’d told him to be careful, like you always did. And he’d given you that same soft, teasing smile the one that said Don’t worry about me, love. I’ve got this. The one that never really settled the panic rising in your throat.
When the door closed behind him, the apartment felt impossibly silent.
The echo of the ocean drifted in, soft and distant.
You sat on the cold marble floor of your shared bathroom, your legs folded tightly beneath you, your hands trembling violently as you clutched the little plastic test like it might burn you. Your heart hammered so hard it hurt.
You’re just being paranoid. Or you’re just late because you’re stressed.
It’s just your body playing tricks on you.
But then the lines appeared. Two of them. Bold. Bright. Unmistakable.
Pregnant.
The word slammed into you with the force of a tidal wave. Eyes widening. Pregnant.
You whispered it aloud, your voice breaking as the syllables slipped from your lips like they didn’t belong to you. Like you were watching this happen to someone else. You stared at the test, waiting for it to change, to fade, to dissolve into something deniable. But it didn’t. It stayed. Steady. Unmoving. Certain.
The seconds ticked by. Then minutes. Your knees ached from the cold tile pressing into your skin, but you couldn’t move. You couldn’t breathe properly. The air felt too sharp, too thick.
You should’ve felt happy. Maybe you did, somewhere beneath all the static.
But it was buried under something bigger. Something heavier -
Fear.
Not of the baby. Not of being a parent. Not of how your life would change.
But of what if he doesn’t come back?
What if he never meets them?
The thought hollowed you out, cracking something inside you so fast the tears came before you could stop them. You sobbed into your folded knees, your body curling in on itself like you were trying to keep the whole world from falling apart inside your chest.
You weren’t afraid of becoming a mother. You were afraid of becoming one alone. Afraid of raising a child who would only know their father through old race footage and stories told in past tense. Afraid of what it would mean to love someone so fiercely and still not be able to keep them safe.
You wrapped your arms around your stomach, protective already, desperate to shield something so impossibly tiny, so fragile, from the storm you knew was coming. From the father you loved more than anything in the world, who didn’t know how to love himself enough to stay.
You should tell Lewis.
You should call him right now.
But the fear lodged in your throat, thick and unmoving. Would it make him more careful? Would it pull him back from the edge you’d watched him balance on for years?
Or would it push him harder - make him race with even more desperation, as if he needed to outrun time, to win faster, to lock in a legacy before the window slammed shut?
You didn’t know which answer terrified you more.
So you kept it to yourself. For now.
You folded the secret into the quietest places of your chest, tucked it beneath your ribs like maybe, if you just waited long enough, the right moment would come.
After the next race.
After the next fight.
After he’d shown you just once that he could choose to be careful. That he could choose to stay.
But Lewis didn’t slow down.
Not in Japan, Spain or Canada. Not when he skimmed the wall in Austria so close your knees nearly gave out watching the onboard.
You told him to be careful. Again. You begged him. You fought more than you ever had before. You screamed, sobbed and pleaded.
But nothing changed.
And the terrible, suffocating thought began to creep in, gnawing at the edges of your heart like something you couldn’t unthink -
Maybe he wouldn’t ever change.
Maybe nothing would be enough.
Not until something broke. Until the thing you feared most finally happened.
And you prayed desperately that it wouldn’t take a crash to make him finally understand what he was risking. That it wouldn’t take twisted metal and a red flag for him to see that there was more on the line now. That there was someone else on the line now.
But Formula 1 isn’t a sport that hands out second chances so easily.
You knew that. It was always going to break before he listened. The only thing you didn’t know was how much it would shatter you too.
The Spa weekend always terrified you.
There was something about it - a weight in the air, a shadow that lingered over the circuit no matter how bright the skies pretended to be. It wasn’t just the layout, the speed, the razor-thin margins. It was Spa’s reputation. Its history. The corners that swallowed cars whole. The weather that changed in minutes. The ghosts that never really left.
Lewis loved Spa. He always had. He loved it the way he loved anything that challenged him, anything that dared him to go further. And you hated it for exactly the same reason. You hated it because you could feel how alive it made him, how the danger seemed to call to him louder here than anywhere else.
And tonight, sitting in the hotel room the night before the race you hated that you were running out of ways to ask him to stay.
Your voice shook more than you wanted him to notice as you watched him pull on his compression shirt, the muscles in his back still tight from the long, gruelling practice sessions. “Lewis, please,” you whispered, standing by the edge of the bed like you could hold the whole conversation together with just the force of your desperation. “Just promise me you’ll be careful tomorrow.”
His gaze flicked toward you in the mirror, soft but distant, like he was already mentally walking the circuit. “I’m always careful, babe,” he said, pulling the shirt over his shoulders, smoothing the fabric across his chest.
You felt the words lodge in your throat, sharp and unbearable. “You’re not,” you choked out, your fists clenching at your sides. “You’re fast. You’re smart. But you’re not careful. Not when it matters. Not when you’re in the car.”
His sigh came hard, his jaw tightening, the same familiar frustration rising between you. “We’ve been through this -”
“No, you’ve dismissed this,” you cut in, stepping forward, grabbing his arm with both hands like you could physically tether him to the ground, to you. “Every time I bring it up, you act like I’m asking you to give up who you are. But I’m not. I’m not asking you to stop being Lewis Hamilton. I’m asking you to survive.”
His jaw flexed, a muscle twitching there, his body taut like a coiled spring. “I know what I’m doing.”
“Do you?” Your voice cracked, the ache in your chest breaking loose. “Because the way you’ve been racing this season. It’s like you don’t care what happens to you anymore. Or like you’ve stopped believing you’re mortal.”
His eyes softened, just for a second, but when he pulled his arm away, it was gentle, final. “That’s not true.”
“It is.” You were trembling now, your heart hammering in your ribs, your throat thick with everything you hadn’t yet told him. “And I can’t watch you go out there tomorrow and race like you’ve got nothing to lose. Because you do. You have me. You have us. And -” Your breath faltered, your whole body bracing under the weight of the truth clawing its way to the surface. “You might have more than that soon.”
Lewis blinked, a frown knitting between his brows as he slowly turned to face you fully, finally hearing something in your voice that didn’t match the fight he thought you were having. “What do you mean?”
You almost told him. The words perched right there, aching to be spoken.
Almost.
But the fear twisted in your chest like barbed wire.
What if telling him changed nothing?
What if telling him made him race harder, like he was running out of time?
What if this new pressure only added fuel to the fire he’d never learned how to put out?
You swallowed hard, the moment slipping through your fingers. “Nothing. Just please.” Your voice cracked, desperate and hollow. “Please don’t make me regret tomorrow.”
His features wavered something caught between defiance and something softer, something that almost looked like he wanted to fold into you, like he wanted to end the argument right there and choose you.
But then his guard slid back into place. He reached for his cap, tugging it over his curls, angling it low to shield his eyes. “I know you’re scared. I get it. But you have to trust me.”
“I do trust you,” you whispered, your voice barely holding itself upright, “but I don’t trust the sport.”
His hand lingered on the door handle, a silent beat stretching between you like a chasm neither of you knew how to cross. “I can’t race scared,” he said quietly.
“And I can’t love you without being scared,” you whispered back, your voice splintering around the truth.
Silence again. The kind that left you hollow.
“I’ll see you after quali,” he said, soft but firm, stepping out of the room, closing the door gently behind him. The finality of that click shattered you.
You sank to the bed, your hand falling instinctively to your stomach, the tears slipping down your cheeks as you whispered to the tiny life inside you, the secret you’d been carrying like a glass heart.
“Please come back to us.”
Spa had always been cruel.
But you never thought it would be cruel to you.
The next day felt like moving through wet cement. You stood by the pit wall, the headset digging painfully into your ears, your heart pounding so loud you could barely hear the chatter of the engineers. Every breath felt borrowed.
Lewis had qualified third. He was in the fight. He was always in the fight.
But today, his driving was different - aggressive off the line, elbows out, like he was still chasing something invisible, something just out of reach. He’d found something this season with Ferrari, something that made him push like he was twenty-five again, like the weight of his body didn’t matter, like time was still bending to his will.
And you hated him for it. But at the same time you loved him for it. Therefore, it was tearing you apart.
Every lap felt like a gamble you hadn’t agreed to. Every defensive move felt like a warning you couldn’t shake.
Please, slow down. Please, don’t prove me right.
Lap 17. Raidillon.
You felt the sickness rise before it even happened.
The onboards flicked to him fighting for position, side by side with another driver, the track tightening, the line disappearing.
You knew what was coming. You felt it in your bones before the camera even caught it. No margin for error.
The car clipped the kerb. A heartbeat, desperate correction, brush of wheels. Lewis’s car was airborne. It twisted violently, flipping unnaturally, shrapnel spinning across the runoff as the Ferrari slammed into the barriers, skidded, bounced, then crumpled to a halt at a sickening angle.
The screen cut away.
“Red flag. Red flag. Session suspended.”
Your headset slipped from your ears and clattered to the ground, the sound of the paddock dissolving into static. You couldn’t move. You couldn’t breathe.
The words hammered through your skull.
He’s not moving. He’s not moving. He’s not moving.
You bolted from the pit wall, shoving through engineers, security, the blur of people shouting at you to stop. Let me through. Let me through. Let me through.
You didn’t even realise you were crying until the salt hit your lips. Didn’t realise you were screaming until your throat burned.
By the time you reached the medical car, they were pulling him from the cockpit, his head slack against the halo, the medics stabilising his neck with clinical precision.
“He’s conscious but disoriented,” one of them said, his voice like a distant echo. “Heavy impact, possible concussion. We need scans immediately,” another called.
But you couldn’t hear anything beyond the roar in your ears. You fell to your knees beside the stretcher, your hand finding his glove still on, limp in yours and you sobbed, your body folding over like the weight of him might pull you under.
“Lewis,” you cried, clutching his fingers like they were the only thing tethering you to this earth. “Lewis, I’m here. I’m here. Please - please stay with me.”
His eyelids fluttered, unfocused, the barest hint of a crooked smile tugging at his lips. “You always…worry too much,” he slurred weakly.
“I told you -” Your voice cracked, the tears falling faster now, splashing onto his red race suit, “I told you this would happen.”
“I’m okay,” he whispered, but his voice was thin, as if even he didn’t believe it.
“You’re not.”
The medics ushered you into the ambulance, and you rode the entire way to the medical centre gripping his hand so tightly your knuckles turned white, the panic thrumming under your skin like a second heartbeat.
The scans. The blood tests. The neurological checks. You watched all of it through a haze, your body present but your soul still trapped on that corner still watching him fly.
They confirmed a mild concussion. Bruised ribs. No spinal injury. Lucky. They kept saying he was lucky.
But it didn’t feel like luck. It felt like you’d just watched the universe take a coin toss with his life. And one day, you wouldn’t win that toss.
When they finally let you sit with him alone you crumpled into the chair beside his bed, your shoulders shaking as you buried your face in your hands.
“You can’t keep doing this,” you whispered, your voice raw, each word clawing its way up your throat. “You can’t keep making me watch you destroy yourself.”
His tired brown eyes flicked to yours, soft, heavy with guilt. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“You always scare me,” you sobbed, your whole-body trembling. “Every race. Every qualifying. Every lap. I can’t do this again.”
His hand found yours, weak but warm, his thumb brushing across your skin in tiny circles, as if that alone might fix all the broken pieces between you.
“I can’t lose you, Lewis,” you choked out, the truth finally too big to swallow. “Not now. Not when -”
Your voice faltered. But you couldn’t stop it now. “I’m pregnant.”
The silence that followed swallowed the room whole. His chest stilled. His lips parted but no sound came. His fingers tightened, the realisation anchoring him back to the present. “You’re serious?” he whispered, his voice cracking. “We, we’re having a baby?”
You nodded, your tears flowing freely. “I found out before this weekend. I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t sure if it would change anything. I thought maybe you’d still race like you didn’t care. I thought maybe nothing would be enough.”
His hand cupped your cheek, the weight of his touch soft, trembling. “I didn’t know I was gambling with so much more.”
“You weren’t just gambling with yourself,” you whispered, leaning into his palm. “You were gambling with me. With us. And now with them.”
His other hand moved to your stomach, resting there gently like the world was holding its breath. His eyes filled, his voice thick with something you’d never heard before a vow.
“I have to change,” he whispered, more to himself than to you. “I have to be more careful. I have to come back to you. To both of you.”
Your sob broke loose, your forehead resting against his as you finally let yourself believe him. This wasn’t just his life anymore. It was all of yours. And he finally realised he had everything to lose.
Lewis spent three days in the hospital.
Three long, agonising days where time moved in molasses and every beep of the machines laced a fresh layer of panic through your chest.
You never left his side. Not once.
You slept in the stiff, narrow visitor’s chair, curled up in impossible angles, your hand always laced with his like it was your lifeline. The dull ache in your neck and spine didn’t matter. The cold fluorescent lights didn’t matter. The dry hospital air, the stale taste of coffee you could barely choke down - they didn’t matter.
The only thing that mattered was Lewis, breathing in the bed next to you.
Every time his heart monitor spiked or dipped whether from shifting in his sleep or reacting to pain you jolted awake in terror, your pulse skyrocketing as your hands shot out to steady him. The doctors assured you over and over that he was okay, that his injuries, though painful, were not life-threatening. But they didn’t understand that it wasn’t just his body you were terrified of losing, it was him.
It was the part of him that laughed. The part that loved you. The part that wanted to come home.
When he was finally discharged, you helped him into a quiet car waiting at the hospital entrance, both of you wearing hats pulled low and oversized sunglasses to shield from prying cameras. The media storm had erupted the moment the crash replayed on screens around the world with Ferrari issuing statements, journalists speculating, fans flooding social media with hashtags and heartbreak.
But you didn’t care about any of that.
You just wanted to get him home. Home to Monaco. Home to safety. Home to you.
The flight back was a blur, the low hum of the engines lulling him to sleep in the seat next to you, his head resting carefully against your shoulder while you traced slow, comforting circles on his thigh.
You didn’t let go of him once.
When you got back to your apartment, the world felt oddly still. No race noise, pit wall calls or tension threading through his body. Just soft linen sheets, gentle waves brushing the rocky coastline below the balcony, and the two of you bruised, but breathing.
The first night home, you helped him into bed like he was made of glass.
Every movement was slow, delicate, your hands ghosting over his ribs as you tucked the sheets gently around him, as if the fabric itself could offer protection. He watched you, silent, his usually strong, self-assured frame now resting heavily against the pillows.
You went to step away to grab him some water and get his medication, but his hand caught your wrist. “Baby?” His voice was raw, still cracked around the edges from the lingering pain and the adrenaline crash.
You sat back on the edge of the bed, your thumb automatically sweeping across his hand. “Yeah?”
His eyes flicked down to your stomach, a faint crease forming between his brows.
“Do you think they’re okay?” His voice was so soft, so unsure, it broke your heart open. “I mean we didn’t even get to talk about it properly.”
You guided his hand to rest over your belly, the skin still flat but warm beneath his palm. “They’re okay,” you whispered. “It’s early, but they’re here. We’re here.”
He let out a shaky breath, his shoulders sagging as though a weight he hadn’t dared to acknowledge was finally releasing its grip on him. “I want to do this right.”
“You already are,” you said, the words instinctive, immediate.
But he shook his head, his thumb beginning to trace slow, endless circles over your skin, like he was grounding himself to you, to this new future neither of you had been prepared for.
“No,” he said firmly, his voice thick. “I’ve spent my whole career believing I had nothing to lose. That I could risk everything because it was just me on the line. That if I went out, I went out chasing what I loved. But it’s not just me anymore.”
His throat bobbed as he swallowed, his composure finally, finally splintering. “I want to be there for this. I want to be there for you. For them. I want to come home.”
Tears gathered in your eyes, blurring the soft edges of him, but you didn’t look away. You couldn’t. “You will,” you promised, your voice barely holding steady as you leaned forward, pressing your forehead to his.
His arms, weak and aching, still managed to pull you close, as tight as his bruised ribs would allow. “I’ll race differently. I’ll be smarter. I’m not done with this sport, but I’m done pretending I don’t care what happens to me.”
You smiled through your tears, your hands cradling his face, feeling the faint stubble against your palms. “Good. Because we care.”
His lips found yours slow, lingering, tasting of salt and something unspoken, something that tasted like a vow and for the first time in what felt like months, you let yourself believe him.
Lewis wasn’t making promises to the sport anymore. He was making promises to you. To your family.
The next few weeks moved in quiet rhythms. There was no travel. No schedule. No roaring engines. Just you and him, wrapped in the stillness of recovery.
You spent lazy mornings curled up on the couch, your hand resting over his as you flipped through baby name lists that made him groan and laugh in equal measure.
You caught him absently scrolling through baby gear on his phone, pretending not to care but his favourites folder said otherwise.
He went to physiotherapy religiously, never once skipping, never once complaining not because he was in a rush to return to the car, but because he wanted to heal properly this time. He wanted to be fully here, for you, for the baby.
He skipped the next race without hesitation.
When the media demanded answers, Ferrari’s statement was simple, pointed -
Family first.
And somehow, that meant more than any podium ever could.
He told you about the team’s reaction their genuine concern, their relief that he was okay, the way Charles had immediately texted when he heard about the baby.
Papa Hamilton! Charles had written and according to Lewis, he refused to stop using the nickname, even during debriefs, even when it made Lewis roll his eyes.
Angela cried when you both told her properly, her hug tight, teary, like she’d been waiting for this moment longer than you had.
When Lewis returned to the paddock later that season, something in him had shifted. Something permanent. The fire was still there, the brilliance, the hunger but it burned differently now.
He still attacked the corners, still carved through the grid like poetry, but gone were the reckless dives, the impossible lunges. Gone was the blind refusal to back off. He chose his battles now. He picked his moments. And for the first time, you saw him racing not for the risk but for the return.
Every time he climbed out of the car, the first thing he did was find you whether it was in the garage, in the motorhome, on the pit wall. His hands would find your stomach instinctively, his forehead pressing to yours, his whispered, “We’re good. I’m okay,” easing the weight in your chest.
You still worried. Of course you did. You always would. But now you worried knowing that he was finally racing to come home.
One crisp autumn afternoon, you stood by the pit wall, your hand resting protectively over your now-visible bump, feeling the soft flutter of tiny kicks under your palm as Lewis crossed the finish line.
He finished P4 that day. He didn’t force the podium. He didn’t throw the car into a gap that wasn’t there. But pulled out of a risky move on the final lap, a move the old Lewis would have taken without thinking.
And when the checkered flag waved, and the cheers rippled through the paddock, all you could feel was pride. Not because he won, but because he chose to be careful. When he returned to you, his fireproof suit still clinging to his skin, sweat still beading at his temple, he cupped your face in both hands and kissed you softly, deeply, as if the whole world had narrowed to this moment.
“You saw that, right?” he murmured against your lips.
You smiled, tears gathering in your eyes. “Yeah. I saw.”
It was never about making him stop or making him want to stay.
And now?
He did. He wanted to stay more than anything.
The labor came fast.
Faster than anyone expected.
You were supposed to have more time - weeks, maybe. Time to pack the hospital bag properly, to finish the nursery, to slow down and breathe before life as you knew it was rewritten. Time to walk hand-in-hand with Lewis through those final, quiet moments of just the two of you.
But life doesn’t always give you time.
Your water broke just before sunrise. The early Monaco sky was painted in soft lavender and streaks of gold, the peaceful morning breeze slipping through the cracked balcony door. You’d stirred awake, your hand resting instinctively on the gentle swell of your belly when you felt the sudden, unmistakable gush.
You gasped, sharp and panicked, sitting upright in bed as adrenaline punched through your chest. Beside you, Lewis jolted awake in an instant, blinking in confusion, his fresh curls messy and sticking to his forehead. “What - what is it? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” His hands were on you immediately, frantic, searching, like he could physically catch whatever had just changed. Your wide, terrified eyes met his.
“It’s happening,” you whispered, breathless. “She’s coming.” For a man who could handle a Formula 1 start with ice in his veins, Lewis unraveled spectacularly.
“Okay. Okay. Okay right.” He launched out of bed like he was sprinting to the grid, grabbing the hospital bag, dropping it, grabbing it again. “Wait did I pack enough? Where’s the list? Where are your shoes? Babe, where are your shoes? Do we need the charger? I need -” He trailed off, spinning in circles, pure panic on his face.
You groaned through another wave of pressure, squeezing his hand so tight you felt his wedding band bite into your palm. “Lewis. Shoes later. Baby now.”
That snapped him out of it. He all but carried you to the car, his hands trembling as he buckled your seatbelt, his lips brushing your forehead in between whispered apologies and frantic reassurances. Every red light, every roundabout, he muttered under his breath. “Not too fast. Not too slow. Can’t risk anything. But shit what if we don’t make it?”
When you got to the hospital, the world around you blurred. The midwives, the beeping monitors, the sterile smell, the tidal waves of pain that crested through you none of it stuck the way his presence did. He never left your side. Not for a second or a breath.
He whispered encouragement through every contraction, his voice shaking but steady enough for you to hold onto. His thumb stroked your palm in soothing circles, and when the pain became unbearable, you clutched his hand like a lifeline, his knuckles paling from the force of your grip.
When your strength faltered, when exhaustion tugged at your edges, Lewis pressed your hand to his lips, kissing your skin like it might anchor you both. “I’m here,” he whispered fiercely. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got you.”
And when the room finally filled with the sharp, piercing cry of your daughter. When the midwife placed her, tiny and wriggling, on your chest – you watched Lewis fall apart in the most beautiful way.
Tears streamed down his face, falling freely as his breath came in shallow, overwhelmed shudders. His hands trembled when they cradled your face, his forehead pressing tightly to yours as his words tumbled out in a desperate, joyful rush. “She’s here. She’s here. Oh my God. You did it. You did it, baby. I love you. I love you so much.”
When they finally placed her in his arms, she seemed impossibly small, her whole body barely the length of his forearm. He held her like she was the most fragile thing the world had ever made, his fingers trembling as he stroked the soft down of her hair. “She’s perfect,” he whispered, his voice raw, reverent. His tears dripped onto her blanket, his thumb tracing tiny circles over her curled fist. “Look at her. Look at what we made.”
You leaned against him, exhausted but full, watching the man you loved melt entirely for this little life. “What do you want to name her?” you whispered, your voice barely audible. Lewis smiled through his tears, still staring at his daughter like she was the most precious thing he’d ever touched. “Something strong. Something beautiful.”
You spoke the name you’d both circled for months. The name that had felt right in your heart from the moment you saw those two lines. He nodded, pressing his lips to her forehead. “That’s her. That’s my girl.”
Your girl. His daughter. His reason to stay.
And from that moment, you knew there would never be a corner, a podium, or a championship that could matter more than coming home to her.
When the season resumed, Lewis returned to the paddock with something new stitched into his race suit - something that changed everything.
Her name. Embroidered in small, delicate letters, right over his heart.
It wasn’t for the cameras. It wasn’t for the media. It was for him. For you. For her.
A quiet promise stitched into the fabric of his second skin. As well as a reminder of who he was racing for now.
For the first few races, he didn’t bring her. He told you he wasn’t ready not because he didn’t want to, but because the idea of exposing her to the flashing lights, the relentless cameras, the noise. It overwhelmed him.
“I just want her to be ours for a little longer,” he’d said one night, his arms wrapped protectively around both of you, his chin resting on your shoulder as your daughter slept peacefully on your chest. “The world can wait.”
But by the nearing of the season ending, the wait became unbearable. He wanted her there. Needed her there.
And so, that morning, you stood beside him at the track a place that once felt like the enemy, now softened by the weight of your shared history and the little life you both cradled between you.
The soft hum of the Ferrari garage wrapped around you like a familiar rhythm. The buzz of air guns, the shouted calls between engineers, the smell of petrol and rubber hanging thick in the air. It used to make your heart pound with anxiety, your pulse synced to every movement Lewis made, every corner he dared to dance around.
But now? Now it felt slower. Softer. Safer. Because this time, she was here.
Your daughter was strapped snugly to Lewis’s chest, tucked into the tiny carrier you’d agonised over choosing. Her oversized baby headphones sat slightly askew on her head, her small hands occasionally batting at them with innocent curiosity.
Her big brown eyes - his eyes darted around, wide and unblinking as they followed the bright colours, the glittering cars, the rhythm of the track life she’d somehow inherited.
Lewis leaned his chin gently against the top of her head, his thumb resting protectively over the curve of her back. He swayed on instinct, rocking her softly, like she was still fragile in his arms. “First race day, huh?” he whispered, his voice tinged with awe, like he still couldn’t quite believe she was real. Like the weight of her against his chest still grounded him in a way nothing else ever had.
“She’s probably wondering why so many people are fussing over just one car,” you teased, sliding your sunglasses up into your hair, watching the way his entire body softened around her.
“She’s going to love this one day,” he murmured, brushing his hand over her soft curls, his eyes not leaving her face. “It’s in her blood.”
“She might end up wanting to drive one of those cars, you know,” you said, raising your brows, unable to hide the amusement dancing in your voice.
His head snapped toward you in mock horror. “Nope. Nope, nope, nope. Piano lessons. Ballet. I’m buying her a library. She’s not touching a race car.” You laughed, resting your hand over his. “She’s already got you wrapped around her little finger.”
“She had me the second I heard her heartbeat,” he said softly, his thumb brushing tiny circles over the carrier strap, his heart so open, so vulnerable.
The team fell in love with her instantly. The Ferrari crew kept their distance at first, unsure if Lewis would want the attention. But when he knelt down to show her to them with proudness beaming and his eyes shining any hesitation dissolved.
One of the mechanics gifted her a miniature Ferrari cap, the brim too big for her tiny head. Another knelt beside her, gently tickling her toes as she stared, fascinated by his bright gloves.
Even rival drivers wandered over to meet her, their usual competitive edges dulling in the presence of something so pure. Lando made faces at her until she giggled. Carlos tapped his chest and whispered, “Future Ferrari champion.” You gave him a look. Lewis gave him a harder one.
Charles, of course, grinned the second he spotted them. “Papa Hamilton looks good on you LH,” he teased, ruffling the baby’s dark curls with brotherly ease.
Lewis just grinned, bouncing her gently against his chest, his whole face softening in a way you’d never seen before. “Yeah. Feels good, too CL.”
The media kept their distance for now. Ferrari had made it clear this was private, sacred, not for headlines.
When it was time for the formation lap, Lewis lingered by your side, reluctant to pass her back to you. He kissed your temple, slow and warm, then pressed a lingering kiss to his daughter’s head, his lips brushing against the soft baby hairs that had started to curl just like his. “You gonna cheer for Daddy?” he whispered to her, his voice low, sweet, full of reverence. “You’re gonna bring me good luck, huh? I race better when you’re here. You know that?”
She babbled back at him, clutching the edge of his chain with her tiny fingers, completely unaware she’d just rewired her father’s entire universe. You watched him pull on his helmet, watched him settle into the car but this time, the weight that used to crush your ribs didn’t settle in your chest.
Because Lewis still raced fiercely. But now he raced smartly.
As he tightened his gloves, as the roar of the crowd built, his gaze flicked across the pit wall right to you and your daughter, his entire world standing just beyond the barrier.
He tapped his chest twice, right over the stitched name.
For her. For you. For all of you.
When the lights went out, you didn’t feel fear.
You felt pride and love.
Because this was the balance you’d fought for, the life you’d built together. He had everything to lose now, and finally, he raced like he knew it.
And you knew now, without a single doubt -
He was always coming back to you.
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ahgasegotarmy116 · 26 days ago
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BANG-ABLE | Jeon Jungkook | Drabble 5
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Summary: You get upset when you see other girls flirting with Jungkook but he always makes sure that you know you're the only one he wants Pairing: f!reader x Sex Bot Jungkook Word Count: 4.7k~ (a pretty long drabble since I've been working on this for way too long) Warnings: Suggestive language but that's about it lol Requested by @ericawantstoescape 💜 (Sorry it took me literally months to get this one out but I hope you like it 😭)
"I'll get it" Jungkook calls out when he hears someone at the door. He's been here for well over the trial period so needless to say things have been going rather well.
We cook together, clean together...sleep together. All of it with just the two of us. The only thing we haven't done is go out.
I don't know what it is but every time I think about taking him with me to the store or to go out to dinner or even the movies I just get scared that something might happen and someone will notice that there's something not so natural about him.
I don't know why it bugs me but people discovering I have a robot hanging around me stresses me out. 
What if they ask what his purpose is, or if someone hits on him and he says something weird about being programed to be with me or I don't know, just something.
"Ava's here" he calls out and I wrack my brain, trying to think of a reason as to why she would be coming over and I come up short. Throwing on a robe I walk out into the living room to meet her. Not bothering to try to look presentable because...well it's Ava.
"Hey! What are you doing here?" I ask, going to give her a hug but she steps back. 
"If you think you're gonna hug me after getting your back blown out you are severely mistaken" she cringes. I hear Jungkook snort in response making me glare at him but he shrugs his shoulders, going back to his task of getting me a glass of water.
"I'm guessing you forgot?" she asks and I tilt my head, unsure as to what I might've forgotten.
"I guess the sex has gone to your head and made you dumb" she teases and Jungkook snickers again. 
"You're not helping" I scold him and he holds his hands up in surrender before walking back over to us and handing me the glass.
"Thank you" I say, narrowing my eyes at him and he smiles, kissing me on the cheek before heading back to the bedroom. "Always a pleasure Ava" he says and she chuckles, "Likewise" she jokes and waves him off as he disappears down the hall.
"What did I forget?" I ask, going back to the reason for her visit. "Lily is getting married remember? You said we could all come over for a girls night to work on the wedding and bachelorette party planning" she reminds, it all starting to come back to me.
"Shit that's today?" I ask and she sighs, "Yes that's today and from the looks of it you're probably gonna need help getting stuff ready for tonight. Which is why I'm here" she says and I let out a sigh of relief.
"You're a lifesaver Ava" I sigh leaving her brushing me off. "Just go take a shower and make sure you and your boy toy look presentable and I'll take care of the rest" she relays, nodding towards the way Jungkook had gone.
"Wait, why Jungkook too?" I ask and she rolls her eyes. "You seriously think he's just gonna sit still and be quiet as a mouse all night? Last time I heard you guys agreed that you would never power him down unless he asked you to. So my guess is that he's gonna wanna at least come out and say hi" she says and I agree.
"You're probably right. Plus the only other person he's spoken to is you so I guess I could try him out with the girls" I agree tentatively.
"What are you gonna introduce him as?" she asks and I guess I had never told her about it before. "My boyfriend" I say and realize that I've never actually said it out loud.
"You rang?" he asks coming back out into the living room after what I assume is taking a quick shower. He's a robot so he can pretty much finish up rinsing off in a minute or two.
"I forgot that I have a few friends coming over tonight so I thought I would introduce you to them. You know, as my boyfriend" I say and the corner of his mouth tugs up, clearly satisfied with the whole thing.
"Looks like everyone is in agreement" Ava says with one loud clap and turns around to head out again. "Where are you going?" I ask, trailing after her.
"I figured you probably don't have anything to eat so I'm gonna head to the store real quick. In the meantime make sure we have space to plan everything out" she says taking note of the tables that are covered with random piles of stuff that I had planned to sort through this weekend but I got a little...distracted to say the least, glancing over at the culprit and seeing that he is clearly satisfied with my discomfort.
"Got it" I agree and she pats the top of my head, walks out and closes the door behind her.
"So you're finally gonna introduce me to someone other than Ava huh?" he asks, crossing his arms over his chest with a smug look on his face. I roll my eyes in response and walk back to our room but once I pass him he slaps my ass leaving me yelping from the sheer force of it.
"Jungkook what the hell?" I shout and his smile goes from smug to devious. "What? You liked it when I was slapping your ass not too long ago" he says in reference to our earlier activities together. "That's different" I grumble and he follows me as I continue into the bedroom.
"So who exactly is coming tonight?" he asks as I open my closet and look for something cute but comfortable since this is just a girl's night. 
"Well Lily who is the bride to be, Jordan who has been her best friend since they were kids, her cousin Claire and then Ava. Lily isn't gonna have a big wedding but she loves the idea of having a wedding party with a few bridesmaids and groomsman" I say and he watches me while I set out everything I need.
"You wanna shower together?" he asks, walking over to me to untie my robe once he notices me struggling to get it undone. "I don't think my body can take another round Jungkook" I say, my breath hitching when he places a kiss under my ear, sliding the robe off my shoulders and letting it pool around my ankles.
"We don't have to do that, just wanna hold you" he mumbles between the kisses he's trailing down my neck, a heat running through my veins.
"Didn't you just take a shower?" I ask, giving a pitiful excuse as to why we don't have to do this. 
"Yes, but not with you" he says, placing a soft kiss on my lips making it hard for me to keep standing. He takes note of that and picks me up to take me to the bathroom, gently setting me on the counter like he always does before turning on the water to heat it up for me.
He turns back and drags his eyes up and down my bare form, that constant insatiable look in his eyes making me squirm. "Is that a yes or a no?" he asks, walking over to me and tilting my head up to make eye contact with him and I simply nod yes.
"Sorry sweetheart couldn't hear you. Can you try again?" he asks, nudging his nose against mine. 
"Yes" I mumble against his lips and he takes a step back, stripping off his clothes and letting me take in how absolutely gorgeous he looks. 
No matter how many times I've seen his incredible physique, I'll never get tired of it.
"You sure you can't give me another one" he temps, his hands on my waist, pulling me off the counter and putting me on my feet. "I'm sure" I say and tap his chest twice before walking into the shower, him sauntering in right after me.
Jungkook is always so attentive when it comes to aftercare and although he's programed to do it I can't help but feel like there's a part of him that wants to, even though he can't have any true wants or feelings. 
Everything he says is just for my enjoyment and I have to keep reminding myself of that.
"You alright love?" he asks when he realizes I've gone quiet since being in here and turns the faucet off. I nod my head but I know he doesn't believe me. He grabs a towel and wraps me up in it nice and snug, picking me up just to plop me down on the bed after having helped me dry my hair a bit.
He stays quiet and helps me get dressed since he likes doing it...or I guess he's taken notice and knows that I like it and does it just to make me smile.
"Something's wrong" he says after I'm fully dressed and still haven't said anything. "Nothing's wrong I just..." I start but trail off, not really sure how to say it. 
"You know you can tell me anything right? I am literally unable to tell anyone anything if you tell me not to" he jokes, trying to cheer me up but pointing towards the fact that kinda has me a bit upset.
"The thought of introducing you as my boyfriend has got me kind of...mixed up" I say, still not sure how to explain it. He waits and doesn't push me to say anything, walking around the room and getting himself dressed now that I'm all done and that's another thing he's learned about me.
If I don't know how to put things to words he doesn't push me. He waits for me and lets me come to him without holding it against me if I act a certain way or try to push past it. He's the perfect boyfriend in so many aspects and that scares me.
"I think I'm losing sense of what is and isn't real" I say, his moves stuttering for a second before finishing the task he had been doing and coming back over, waiting for me to continue.
"The thought of introducing you as my boyfriend...well introducing you as anything at all is kind of just blurring my senses into separating the fantasy from reality" I admit and he nods his head, taking in the data and processing it.
"You can turn me off for the night if you want to" he offers and my brow furrows, "No Jungkook I don't wanna do that. I like having you in my life like this but I need to be careful" I say, trying to save the situation but knowing that this is going to leave me feeling a little off.
"How about a compromise? I'll come out so you can introduce me to them and then I'll head back into the bedroom and wait until you guys are done to come out again. I can even come say goodbye if you want me to?" he proposes and after thinking it over for a second or two I agree.
"Yeah that could work. Just make sure that if you're going to shake hands that you'll be gentle about it alright? Not like how you hold onto me sometimes" I say, reminding him of the time he left bruises against my skin from gripping my hips too tight.
I see the realization flash across his expression after sifting through the data he collected since he reprogramed himself after that to ease up a bit, even though I told him it was fine. "Got it" he says, his eyes glowing gold again, an almost bashful expression on his face.
I know this might sound a little silly but that's become something that I find very endearing these days. 
I used to feel a little sad when he reprogrammed himself after I had told him something that I remotely disliked or even liked. 
I know that he's meant to be the perfect fit for me so I find the clear effort to continue to improve himself so he can make sure he knows how to please me in all areas of life makes me feel...loved?
No! No not loved. Appreciated? I don't know, but I'm not gonna worry about that tonight.
Tonight is a night with my girls and I need to focus on that, especially since I've stood them up a couple...a few times in favor of staying in with him. 
What can I say? He can be rather persuasive when he sees my clear displeasure in leaving him, unless it's for work.
He knows my boundaries when it comes to that but that doesn't make him protest any less. He knows I like a somewhat clingy, kind, possessive, protective, maybe a smidge obsessive/jealous and attentive boyfriend and like he said on the first day we met, he is very eager to learn.
See, this is why it's so hard for me to actually want a real boyfriend. I want it all and it seems like he can be that for me so why even try to find someone else?
My train of thought is interrupted by another doorbell ring and my eyes widen, not sure as to if it'll be Ava or one of the other girls. "I'll wait in here" he says, placing a kiss on my forehead and using my shoulders to spin me around before patting my butt twice to get me going.
I take a deep breath and let it out before rushing to open the door but when I see through the peep hole that it's Ava again I let out a sigh.
"Took you long enough! Now come on my arms are going numb from carrying all of these bags" she says, passing some of them over to me. "You could've just called me so I could come out and help" I chuckle, placing all of them on the kitchen counters and unpacking all of the snacks and frozen pizzas she decided to get.
We're all pretty simple so nights like this with this kind of food is normal for us.
"No because if I called you then Jungkook would've wanted to come help too but I wasn't sure if the girls would be close behind. Then we would've had to do an awkward introduction out there so I thought sacrificing mere minutes of my blood circulation was the more favorable choice" she explains, leaving me unable to argue with her logic.
"Babe, your phone is ringing" Jungkook says as he walks over to us, cringing since I can feel the smirk that's growing on Ava's face. "Thanks" I say with a pained expression and answer but when I see the wordless devious exchange between Ava and him I know that I'm in for a painfully awkward night.
"Hello?" I say, not paying attention to who it is, knowing it's probably one of the girls. 
"Oh look you're finally answering my calls" I hear my mom's voice chime through the speaker. 
"Mom I missed your call like two times" I roll my eyes, walking away from the conversation Jungkook and Ava are having before she can hear but unfortunately this time she notices.
"Are you with a man right now? Do you finally have a boyfriend? Honey, y/n has a boyfriend!" my mom calls out to tell my father and I sigh, knowing I'm fucked. 
"Mom I don't have a boyfriend" I whisper and luckily Ava and Jungkook have started getting all of the food ready so neither of them is paying any mind to my conversation.
"Then who's voice was that that I heard? You're home right now aren't you?" she asks and I sigh, humming to confirm her suspicions. "So why do you have a man in your home?" she asks and I go with the thing that is true since although not human he has become somewhat of a friend.
"He's a friend mom, Ava is here too. Do you wanna say hi?" I ask and before she can protest I walk over and hand the phone to Ava. With a very suspicious face she takes the phone and says 'Hello' but brightens up when she hears that it's my mom.
"Ava I need you to be honest with me and don't let my daughter threaten you into lying" she says and I plead,  asking her to lie just this once. From the looks of it though it seems like it's a losing battle. 
"Yes. Well yeah but- I don't know if that's the best ide- and she's gone" Ava says, handing me back my phone.
"What?" I groan, knowing that could only mean bad news. "Your parents are coming to see you" she says and my heart gets kicked into overdrive. "Now?" I ask and she shrugs her shoulders, 
"She says she would let you know when but we both know she probably won't" she cringes and I huff, throwing myself onto the couch, smashing my face into a pillow and screaming as loud as I can.
"Is she okay?" Jungkook whispers to Ava as he watches my short lived temper tantrum. "She'll be fine, her mom just gets her worked up sometimes" Ava explains and although he nods and goes back to helping her he still keeps a wary eye on me.
When he's finished though he comes over to me right away, sitting on the couch and rubbing my back.
"Hey..." he says softly, not wanting to cause anymore distress. "Hey" I respond, my voice muffled by the pillow my face is still buried in. "Can you breathe alright like that?" he chuckles and I nod my head but he doesn't seem convinced.
"Come on, up and at 'em" he says, lifting me up into a sitting position but I just tip over and end up laying on his lap. 
"You gonna tell me what's wrong?" he asks, brushing my very ruffled hair out of my face.
"She's gonna ask me a billion questions about us that I don't know the answers to and I'll have to lie the whole time and just pray that they don't figure out that you're not human and I just-" I spout off and grab the pillow to scream in again.
He tentatively takes the pillow off of my face and cups it instead, making me look at him and I sigh, knowing that my reaction is very childish. "We'll get through this okay? Me and you" he says softly, brushing his thumb along my cheekbone and I nod my head before turning on my side and burying my face in his torso.
"Okay ew, are we done here or should I wait outside" Ava cringes and Jungkook chuckles rubbing my back again. 
"You ready?" he asks and I nod my head before sitting up, "As ready as I'll ever be" I grumble, sighing and heading over to my room to see if I need anything else before the girls get here.
~~~~
"You mean to tell me you've been hiding him from us this whole time?" Lily says, after Jungkook's had his little introductions with all of them and headed back into the bedroom, the utter look of betrayal painting her face.
"You're acting like I've been hiding him for years" I chuckle, sitting back down after having grabbed another bottle of wine. "Might as well have been years, she sighs, slumping back into the couch leaving the rest of us laughing at her childish reaction.
"Anyways, y/n's boyfriend aside, shouldn't we get back to the wedding planning?" Ava says, bringing us back around to the task at hand. 
"Good point" Jordan hums and we start working out things like where we're going for Lily's bachelorette party, the colors for her wedding and lists of venues for them to check out and by the time we've finished up we're quickly back on the subject of Jungkook again.
"So where did you guys meet?" Claire asks, the three who hadn't known of his existence before wait with baited breath, wanting to know everything there is to know about him and our relationship. 
"Ava kept nagging me and eventually asked if she could make me an online dating profile so I just let her and well, here we are" twisting the truth a bit. 
"So how long did it take you until you finally agreed to meet?" Lily asks, her wedding now the least of her worries, fully absorbed in my 'Love story'.
"About a week, Ava was here to more or less supervise our first meeting since I was nervous but yeah...there really isn't much more to it than that" I shrug because there honestly isn't. He was literally engineered in a lab or factory or whatever and was made for me so he didn't exist one day and now he's here and hasn't left.
"What do you mean? You guys have been together for a few months and you're already living together? That's pretty fast for you last time I checked" Lily continues, having known me the best besides Ava.
"They honestly make a really cute couple and he seems sweet. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Plus she looks happy" Claire says, her being the one I've known for the shortest amount of time. 
"I am happy" I say softly, a just as soft smile gracing my lips leaving them cooing, sucking my teeth and rolling my eyes as a response. 
"So Ava, what do you think about him? You've known from the beginning so you have to spill to make up for keeping him from us!" Jordan glares playfully and Ava chuckles, looking over at me with a wicked smile making me even more nervous.
"Let's just say she's stood me up quite a few times because of him" she winks, covering my face to hide how mortified I am. 
"Shut up!" Lily squeals, "He's that good huh?" she continues and shakes my arms trying to get them away from my face. 
"I wouldn't have pegged her to be a sex addict but alas..." Ava lays it on thick making me groan. 
"It's not my fault he's so-" I start but we all stop when we hear my bedroom door open and Jungkook comes out, looking like a deer caught in the headlights when he sees we're all looking at him. 
"Is there something on my face?" he asks making Ava snort. "No no, just ignore us" she says waving him off, him glancing over at me in a way that tells me he's heard every word.
"I'll be right back guys" I say, getting off the floor where I had been sat and walking over to him, pulling him into the kitchen for a word. 
"Why are you out here?" I scold him and he chuckles, not so subtly placing a hand on my hip and pulling me closer. "I thought you said you were gonna stay in the room all night" I pout and he smiles and kisses it.
"I wanted a snack" he says as if he had the ability to be starving but from the way he's looking at me the only thing he could be hungry for would be...
"This wasn't part of the deal" I groan and he chuckles. "I'm bored without you" him now being the one who's pouting making me roll my eyes. 
"Then just go to sleep or something" I say, knowing he has a 'Sleep mode' just like any computer would, only waking when I've touched him.
"We'll be finishing up here in a few hours so just wait for me. You haven't rested for a while so you should probably take some time to recharge" brushing his shaggy fringe out of his face. 
"Fine, but you're mine for the rest of the weekend" he says in my ear and places a kiss on my neck and I can hear a a gasp from the group I had left behind.
"Don't mind us" Lily blurts out, all of them clearly having seen the whole interaction making me blush and him chuckle. 
"As you were" he says to the rest of the girls, grabbing an apple and taking his leave after giving me one last kiss on the cheek, making all the girls practically swoon.
"I want one" Jordan sighs once he leaves and it takes everything in me and from the looks of it Ava as well to not say that in fact can. 
"You'll find your person" Claire says, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, the more empathetic one in the group.
"Movie?" Ava suggests, taking some of the heat off me but Lily declines. "No we should probably head out. Seems like lover boy is getting impatient" she points out and I throw my head in my hands again. 
"He couldn't have been more obvious if he tried" I groan making the trio laugh, Ava giving a knowing smile before they all start to pack up. 
"I'll talk to the florist and get a price breakdown over to you tomorrow" I say, giving Lily a hug before moving on to the others. 
"It's okay, we have plenty of time, just go enjoy your man" she says, nodding towards my bedroom where Jungkook is leaning against the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest giving the girls a slight nod as a salutation. 
"He doesn't say much does he?" she whispers in my ear. "He's a bit shy but trust me, he's always got something to say" I assure her and she smiles. "I'm sure he does" she hums before ushering the other two out, Ava staying back for just a little longer, closing the door when the others leave.
"How'd it go?" Jungkook asks, finally coming out into the living room, needing to know if our cover has been blown.
"They didn't suspect a thing" Ava nods and I let out a sigh of relief. "I'll tell them eventually but I'm not ready to have that talk with them yet" I shake my head and Ava starts gathering up her stuff, taking a bag of unopened chips and stuffing it in her bag. 
"Good luck having that talk with your parents" she mumbles and I pinch the bridge of my nose at that.
"Please don't remind me" I groan and Jungkook comes up and cups my face in both hands. "We'll figure it out" he reminds me again, his soft hold on my face slightly squishing my cheeks together making my pout even poutier.
"Okay well I'm gonna bow out before you guys start getting too mushy" she says, slipping her shoes on and opening the door. 
"Thanks for always supporting me in this Ava. Seriously like I don't know what I'd do without you" I say and she shrugs. "Have a boring non existent sex life?" straight to the point leaving Jungkook the one snorting.
"Goodbye Ava" I roll my eyes, the sentimental moment gone leaving her smiling devilishly as she walks out and down the hallway.
"Don't go too crazy tonight or you'll get another noise complaint" she says over her shoulder leaving me shushing her as loudly as I can to cover up the humiliating sentence floated by all of my neighbors.
"Not helping" I whisper scream but my complaints land on deaf ears as she starts her descent down the stairs to the parking lot. I huff in protest before going back inside and closing the door, hoping to shut out the embarrassment for the night.
I lock the door and before I have a second to process it all he spins me around and pins me against the door, catching me off guard. 
"Think you can stay quiet for me tonight?" he rasps in my ear, nibbling on it before continuing his path down my neck and shoulder. 
"You really have turned me into a sex addict, haven't you?" I mumble, my knees getting weak as he let's his hands and lips explore my skin, him immediately taking notice and scooping me up, carrying me to my bedroom.
"Is that a bad thing?" he asks, knowing damn well I want him, his database no doubt full of images of the slightest physical changes in my body language, sending him signals to initiate it first because he knows damn well I still have a hard time voicing that I want him.
"I guess not" 
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nightmare-niko · 8 months ago
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F*cked My Way Up To The Top [Father Charlie Mayhew x reader]
pt.1
Prompts: 2/6/8
Word count: 1457
Warnings: oral! fem receiving, dom! Ish reader— this ones actually kinda just cute lol
A/n: this one was requested but i changed one of the prompts a tiny bit to fit the scheme better! i hope yall still like it tho hehe :3 and also lets pretend that the whip cuts on his back aren't fresh !!! for Y/ns sheets sake...
Copying or translating my writing is not allowed. If you see my work on another site it is stolen. Reblogs are appreciated and encouraged.
The last time you visited Church, you forgot to leave your number. You were too busy trying to sneak out to your car with no one seeing the priest's cum running down your bare (but marked) legs. Charlie had offered for you to stay the night, but you'd rather die than do the walk of shame out of a church in the daylight. When you found out you had a rare three-day weekend you began your planning. It would be unfair for you to show up and cause chaos on a Sunday... again, which is why you chose to dress your best and show up to church on a Monday.
When you strolled into the church, Father Charlie was deep in a conversation with someone you honestly couldn't get less of a shit about. Taking a seat near the back, you watch as Charlie's eyes rake over your form. You shamelessly stare as he gets visibly more and more nervous under your hungry gaze. What power you had over him, it was pathetic on his part. You loved it. The minutes ticked by agonizingly as you watched him. Nothing about the look in his eyes told you he gave a single shit about the person before him. It was honestly extremely amusing.
It wasn't long before he was making his way over to you. "Y/N, I'm surprised to see you back." He slips into the space beside you. Your head reels as his cologne invades your senses.
"I was just so touched by last week's service I had to pay another visit.” You gesture down to your slightly more church-appropriate outfit, "I even dressed modestly.
He hums, eyes darting right to your stocking-covered thighs and pencil skirt, “Are we sure...”
You follow his eyes and flush, “It's not my fault it's cold in here..." You defend.
He laughs quietly, "That's true.” He pauses for a moment before leaning closer. "You think I don't know why you’re here?" His breath is hot against your face.
"You think I don't know you’re itching to get your hands on me?" You’re quick with your response, it shocks him. "You started fidgeting like a schoolboy the moment I walked in.”
You watch as the blood rushes to Charlie’s face, painting the tips of his ears pink. He clears his throat, "Well then, what's your plan?"
"Well, my car is parked out back. So, either we sneak out and go to mine...” you pause in faux contemplation, “or we could risk everyone in this church, hearing us fucking in your office.”
The man before you gasps, you fight to contain your amusement. You try to get up, but he stops you. “What if someone sees?"
"We've been friends since high school, Father. This whole town knows we know each other."
The worry in his brow doesn’t budge, you sigh- “Look, maybe this was a mistake, we can just forget—“ "No- No it—“ he cuts you off, “Well maybe it is but I don’t care. I will repent later, go wait and I'll be out in a few minutes.”
oh god not again
"I won't leave you for thirty minutes again, I promise,” He reassures.
You’re 100% sure you blacked out because now you were pulling into your driveway with Charlie in your passenger seat. “Aren’t I just such a gentleman?” You tease.
“Yeah? In what way?” His voice matches your playful tone.
"I drove you to my house before— ya know...” you put the car in park.
“No, I don't know, before what?"
"Before fucking your brains out." You shrug nonchalantly as you pull the key out of the ignition.
“Is that what I did? Fucked your brains out?"
"Yup!" You open your car door, stepping one foot out before turning back to him. "And that's what I'm gonna do to you so— c'mon!”
You skip towards your front door with Charlie right on your trail. It's been a while since you had a man in your house, your body vibrates with anticipation as you unlock your front door.
"You know, one of these days you should let me take you to lunch or something.”
"We'll See," You shrug, shrugging off your jacket. "Behave for me today and I'll let you do whatever you want.” You turn to him, pressing your chest against him, and his hands immediately find their place on your hips.
"I think I like the sound of that~" Charlie leans down, capturing your lips in a gentle kiss. You revel in the taste of his lips on yours. You didn't know what it was— but something about Charlie was so intoxicating. He was tall, much taller than you— and as your torso pressed against his, you realized he was hard in his slacks. "That's," he groans, pressing his visible bulge into your stomach, "that, darling, is what you do to me."
You hum and take him by the hand to lead him through your house and into your bedroom. He looked good-- When did he not look good? Wasting no time you bring Charlie's face back to yours for another searing kiss.
Charlie's hands greedily pull your neatly tucked blouse out from your skirt. You help him lift it over your head, the chill of the room sending goosebumps up your arms. You quickly pull your skirt and tights down, leaving you in just your white ruffle socks and underwear. Charlie quickly mirrors your actions, ridding himself of his shirt and pants quicker than you had expected— damn he was hot.
Your padded feet patter across the hardwood as you make your way onto your bed. You beckon Charlie over to you with your finger. His strong body towers over you as your back collides with the headboard behind you. His finger trails down the side of your neck, the marks he had left last week were mostly faded— that was no good. His lips greedily work to leave more love bites, you whine.
Raking your manicured nails down his toned chest, he groans against your skin, “fuck.” he sits up to get a better look at you under him, “Let me taste you, baby, please?”
You bring your foot up to his chest, pushing gently to get him on his back, "Beg. Maybe I'll consider." You seductively crawl over to him, sitting on his clothed cock. He revels from underneath you, his hands squeezing at your thighs and ass. You kiss all over his torso as he struggles to form a coherent thought— drunk on you.
“Please— Baby please, I need to taste you.” He slurs, “Sit on my face— suffocate me I don't care. I'll die a happy man.”
You giggle against his skin, nipping at him with your teeth playfully. “How did you know flattery works on me~”
“Lucky guess,” he chuckles.
Charlie desperately paws at you wordlessly pleading for you to end his suffering. You comply— removing your underwear. The moment your dripping cunt was close enough his lips were latched onto you. Kissing licking and biting at you like a starved man, he curses against you again.
The grip on your thighs is almost painful, you are certain he would leave crescent moons on them. You loved it. You rut against his nose as his tongue prods at your hole— you moan theatrically, folding over as the pleasure shoots through your whole body. Charlie sloppily laps at your folds until your legs begin to shake.
Your orgasm takes you by complete and utter surprise. Your vision goes white as Charlie licks up everything gratefully.
“fuck!” you pant, removing yourself from above him to slump onto your mattress. Charlie lay there panting— his face and chest kissed in a deep blush. Your eyes trail down his torso and to his boxers, the grey material soiled with a dark spot. You gasp, “did you?”
“yes,” he shamefully admits, hiding his face behind his arms
“Hey hey no it's okay!” you quickly reassure him. You try to pry his arms away from his face. “C'mon lemme see you, baby.”
“I’m embarrassed,” he mumbles.
You laugh lightly, kissing his arms in an attempt to lower his guard. “That was like the hottest thing I've ever experienced.”
“Really?” he peaks out at you.
“uh— are you kidding??” you exclaim, he fully puts down his arm and you leave a peck on his lips. “stay? Just for a little?”
He smiles tiredly, “You're gonna have a hard time getting me to leave.”
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