#i hope someone understands my prophecies

[thisclownatemybrother]

[missjadesfics]

Paul Atreides

We Can Share - Feyd-Rautha x Reader x Paul Atreides Y/n is Feyd and Paul's childhood friend; rather than choose one, why not have both?

We Made an Agreement - Paul Atreides x Reader x Duncan Idaho Y/n and Paul are married, both agreeing they can sleep with whomever they like. The reader finds comfort with Duncan. But Paul questions if the agreement works for him anymore.

My Gem - Paul Atreides x Reader Paul asks for the Emperor's eldest daughter, Y/n, for her hand in marriage.

Don't play the Fool - Paul Atreides x Reader Paul and Y/n are in an arranged marriage, and Paul notices his bride is unbothered by it. Maybe he can change her thoughts; after all, marriage can't be all that bad.

Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen

His Little Wife - Feyd-Rautha x Atreides!Reader Y/n is Paul's twin sister and is sent to marry Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen

We Can Share - Feyd-Rautha x Reader x Paul Atreides Y/n is Feyd and Paul's childhood friend; rather than choose one, why not have both?

Delicate Feelings - Feyd-Rautha x Reader Y/n is to wed Feyd-Rautha; intentionally, she is frightened, but Feyd begins to fall in love with her. When a man makes a move on the reader, Feyd reminds him; that he doesn't share.

Our Na-Baroness - Feyd-Rautha x Reader x Duncan Idaho Y/n is arranged to marry Feyd, and her lover Duncan goes as her personal guard to keep her safe. When Feyd learns of the lover's relationship, he ensures everyone understands where they belong.

Yours Truly, Feyd - Feyd-Rautha x Reader (Bridgerton-inspired AU) Feyd-Rautha, who hasn't felt the need for marriage, attends a courting ball to keep in his uncle's good graces. Y/n, on the other hand, has dreamed of her first courting ball, her debut to all the eligible lords. But falling in love with someone without intentions of marriage while thinking they don't reciprocate your feelings is silly, right?

His Sweet Kiss - Feyd-Rautha x Reader Y/n witnesses the attack on Arrakis, hoping to escape and find Paul. She is captured by the Harkonnen soldiers. And the future Na-Baron takes an interest in her.

Sandstorms aren't all that bad - Feyd-Rautha x Reader When Feyd-Rautha and Y/n are stuck in a cave during a sandstorm on Arrakis, they both confess their feelings for one another and find a way to pass the time.

Duncan Idaho

The Sword Master and the Ward - Duncan x Atreides!Ward Reader Duncan Idaho, the Atreides sword master, begins an illicit affair with Duke Leto's ward Y/n

We Made an Agreement - Paul Atreides x Reader x Duncan Idaho Y/n and Paul are married, both agreeing they can sleep with whomever they like. The reader finds comfort with Duncan. But Paul questions if the agreement works for him anymore.

Our Baroness - Feyd-Rautha x Reader x Duncan Idaho Y/n is arranged to marry Feyd, and her lover Duncan goes as her personal guard to keep her safe. When Feyd learns of the lover's relationship, he ensures everyone understands where they belong.

You will never lose me - Duncan Idaho x Reader Escaping from the attack on Arrakis, Y/n Atreides is reunited with Duncan Idaho and living amongst the Fremen in Sietch Tabr. While Paul and Jessica work with the Fremen about the Lisan-Al Giab prophecy, Y/n and Duncan grow closer, revealing hidden feelings for one another.

Leto Atreides

Feyd-Rautha looking after sick reader headcanons | coming soon

Dune men reacting to their so saying " i love you" | coming soon

Dune men looking after reader on their period | coming soon

Duncan Idaho x Reader - You will never lose me | coming soon

[prince-kallisto]

Crowley: A False Prophet and the Unholy Trinity

HEAR ME OUT, HEAR ME OUT. @overly-niche-twst makes amazing and funny memes, but as you all should know, even the memes aren’t immune from my theories. But the connection of Crowley and the “false prophet” hit me like a train. A false prophet? In a game where the religious symbolism runs rampant? And when digging into research, I was SHOOK at what I learned. I swear this is the worst rabbit hole I’ve ever gone through because of a MEME 😭

In Biblical lore, a prophet is someone who receives a divine message from a supernatural source and must share the message with the rest of humanity. This message is often referred to as a “prophecy.”

I’ve talked about Levan potentially having prophetic powers on here several times, but as a little recap, Lilia seems to hint at Levan’s uncanny foresight. Either he’s just an incredible master strategist, or Levan has powerful magic (perhaps Unique Magic, or just really good at astrology) related to seeing the future. For example, he SOMEHOW knew that Lilia and Malleus would attend NRC 500 years in the future, and taught Lilia and the other Fae a common language with humans in hopes of reuniting the Fae and humans in the future, like at NRC.

What makes me feel certain about this theory is that ravens in Greek mythology were related to Prophecy, because they were believed to be the bird of Apollo, the Greek god of prophecy. And Levan seems to be twisted from Diavolo, Maleficent’s Raven (unconfirmed but seems likely with info so far)

Technically, if the gift of prophecy was Levan’s UNIQUE Magic, it could count as a “supernatural” source, right? And if he taught and guiding the Fae with the information he saw from the future, Levan could technically be considered a prophet.

But what is a false prophet, and why do I believe Crowley is one?

(Disclaimer, I am not religious myself and am using Biblical texts from a purely analytical perspective. If you know better on this topic, want to add something/correct me, please let me know! Sorry for putting so many links here too haha, there’s just too much to talk about in one post!)

A false prophet is someone who falsely claims the gift of prophecy, or is speaking from the supernatural source of evil, typically the Devil. According to Biblical lore, the false prophet will present themselves as benevolent (Crowley “I am so kind” is that you) and weak, but have great power and evil. What I found very interesting was this line from the Bible:

“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.”

I’ve made theories regarding Crowley’s true nature many, many times before. My moots tease me for using this Rook screenshot so many times, but I genuinely believe Rook understands Crowley’s character.

Anyway, the TRUE enemy is one who watches from the periphery with a smile…something that Crowley always does. Always watching, but never seemingly acting. He lets everyone’s guard down by being useless, unreliable, and ridiculous, but he definitely has something up his sleeve. In Biblical lore, the wolf is considered a malevolent predator who feeds on the innocent. Like young and impressionable students, perhaps? I think it’s very interesting that Crowley refers to students as his eggs or chicks, like children that he’s “raising.” But a baby bird is one of the many symbols of innocence, and Yana Toboso herself has cryptically said how the repeated egg theme in TWST is a representation of how “Eggs are a good symbol of things that can never go back to how they were, once they have been broken.”

But what about the False Prophet? Well, I’ve recently made an analysis on how Crowley encourages the Overblots in every single book. As a little recap, he’s the one who suggests the magic duel against Riddle in Book 1, the Hall of Fame to Leona in Book 2, signs a contract with Azul in Book 3, abandons Yuu and also stirs Jamil’s hatred by making Kalim housewarden in Book 4, etc etc. He’s constantly leading these students astray in a very subtle manner. But I think he needs the Overblots to happen so Yuu can save them, so he can get the Overblot Crystals.

Additionally, Lilia mentions how historical narrative have been “twisted” to suit someone’s agenda. And judging from how everyone thinks the Disney Villains were sources of good to look up to, the manipulation from Crowley may be more literal than we think.

And if Crowley is leading these people astray for a greater purpose/higher power, this technically makes him a False Prophet. It goes even deeper when you consider his cryptic words throughout the books, as if he is seeing the future. He knows where the students are when they’re talking about important things, he knows when STYX will break in…and as I mentioned, ravens are connected to the gift of prophecy.

And guess what? The False Prophet, according to Christian lore, is part of the Unholy Trinity. TWST has a slyly repeats the theme of three, and which can noticed in NRC’s logo that may represent the past, present, and future. BUT THATS NOT WHY I WAS FREAKING OUT-

Because what does the Unholy Trinity consist of?

The DRAGON

The ANTICHRIST

And the FALSE PROPHET

In a previous theory examining religious symbolism with Meleanor and the Virgin Mary, I also concluded that Malleus Draconia is a representation of the Antichrist, especially because of the star imagery in TWST. Meleanor even refers to him as an “evil star” that would curse humanity.

But now I’m doubting this- I think I had it all wrong. Not about Meleanor being the Virgin Mary, but about who represents the Antichrist. But let me go over what the implications of the Unholy Trinity means first.

Edit: actually I never claimed Malleus was the antichrist at all in that post LMAO, I confused myself with the different names for Lucifer/Devil/Satan 😭😭😭 so technically I was right all along with claiming that Malleus is Lucifer in that post🤪🤪🤪🤪 I won’t edit out this mistake to avoid confusion in the reblogs

The Antichrist and the False Prophet are referred to as the “first and second beast,” who obey the DRAGON. But the Antichrist, aka the First Beast/Beast of the Sea, is described as “emerging from the abyss”

MALLEUS’ TITLE IS LITERALLY THE RULER OF THE ABYSS. IM GONNA- BABXBSB

Edit: I’d like to add that the Bible describes this Abyss as an unfathomably deep, dark, and boundless place, often compared to the ocean and chaos. And recently in Book 7, Silver almost succumbed to the darkness…where there was no light, no people, nothing except darkness and blot. That is TWST’s version of the Abyss, and Malleus is the ruler of it! This religious symbolism has to be intentional

I think the Antichrist actually GRIM. A supreme representation of evil thats said that appear at the END OF THE WORLD/APOCALYPSE. And if we recall the prologue, we see Grim in a horrible monster form in a shattered Mirror Chamber. An amalgamation from the Overblot Crystals, which is literally the condensed version of the Overblot, a representation of purely negative emotions.

And based on what text describes the First Beast as, he has “seven heads, appearance of a leopard, feet of a bear, and a mouth of a lion. The dragon gave him his power, his throne, and great authority.”

What’s even more interesting is that there’s an “Angel of the Abyss” known as Abaddon. His description intrigued me, as “king of a plague of locusts resembling horses with crowned human faces, women's hair, lions' teeth, wings, iron breast-plates, and a tail with a scorpion's stinger” Since this character is up to interpretation, some religious scholars say this character is the Antichrist. Again, it’s a wild amalgamation of features that sound like Grim.

The Second Beast/Beast of the Earth, aka the False Prophet, is said to rise from the earth (a metaphor for Hell perhaps) and force the world to worship the antichrist. That’s one of the definitions of the false prophet, as one who seeks to lure humanity astray alongside the Devil. Is this some crazy foreshadowing for what Crowley will do in the future?!

And once again using Biblical texts, this second beast “spoke like a dragon,” referring to his arrogance and connection to the Devil. It reminds me of Levan’s title as Ryūgan Duke Levan,” or 竜眼公レヴァーン , aka “Dragon-Eyed”

Anyway. Back to the Dragon, it’s also referred to as the Serpent. Serpents in biblical lore are incredibly important- but are also very symbolic in TWST. I’ve made an post analyzing the serpents in NRC’s logo before, but as a recap, they’re also one of the symbols of rebirth in TWST. I’d like to add that snakes also considered symbols of Wisdom, which is fitting for “Sages Island.” Some religious scholars also consider the lying serpent in the Garden of Eden to be the “first false prophet.”

But the Ancient Serpent specifically represents the “Devil/Satan/the Dragon.”

The reason why I’m doubting Meleanor being the “Dragon” in this Unholy Trinity is because the Dragon attacks the WOMAN OF THE APOCALYPSE, AKA THE VIRGIN MARY 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️ IS MY MELEANOR THEORY COMING TRUE?!? ( I’m just being delulu but please humor me)

But what’s even more interesting is that again in Revelations, it’s said an Angel with a “key to the Abyss and a chain” locks up the Ancient Serpent for 1000 years. Hm?? Malleus literally said that everyone would sleep for 1000 years in his Overblot. What’s interesting about the Angel is that he has the key to the ABYSS…is this Angel meant to be Silver?!? Silver, who has a glowing ring protecting him from the darkness, and heavily connected to a magical sword??? So he the Angel with the “key” to the Abyss, aka Malleus?

So if Crowley is the false prophet…there’s a high chance he’s behind the Overblots. And remember: the False Prophet will force the world to worship the Antichrist. Is this to foreshadow how Crowley will make the Twisted Wonderland world fall because of Grim?

So let me recap what I think this means:

The Dragon- Malleus

The Antichrist- Grim

The False Prophet- Crowley

The Angel- Silver

The Virgin Mary- Meleanor

And you know what, let’s just throwing in the idea that Yuu is the Lamb that opens the Seven Seals, which marks the beginning of the apocalypse, and the Seven Angels/Trumpets are the Overblotters, WHY NOT. A theory to elaborate on for another day…perhaps it will be a series connecting the biblical apocalypse to TWST?

🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️ANYWAY IF THE UNHOLY TRINITY THING IS INTENTIONAL IM GONNA SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST

To Joy, I got really carried away with this theory, apologies if it sounds confusing, I did NOT mean it to go this far 😭😭😭 but I swear, that was a muse moment, your meme made ALL my brain cells connect for once and I feel like I’ve unearthed something important 🫡

Of course, let me just say that these parallels are not perfect (e.g Malleus being the Dragon despite Meleanor being the Virgin Mary) and some of these characters may better fit other Biblical figures better 🫡 But since I’m focusing on the Apocalypse part, I think that is idea is working, and I’d really like to delve deeper into research!

[ghouljams]

ghoul Ghoul GHOul GHOUL

GHOUL

GHOUL

GHOULLLLL

THE FUCKING VÖLVA!WITCH AND VIKING!PRICE FIC WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK AHHHHHHHHHHH JKDSFHAKJHGFGLHASJHD;KADJJKASFHAHLWEFUWE

Here's more just for you (I have been sitting on this too long)

The spirits whisper to you, words you never understand until they leave your lips: prophecies and missives, blessings and curses. You've never been more than a vessel for them, trained for it since you were old enough to understand what a Völva was. Maybe even before that. You sleep restlessly, and wake with your hands shaking and your mouth tasting like death. You have to check your tongue most mornings to be sure it isn't black with rot. But there are times, lovely times, when you wake up to warmth, when you wake up with arms around you, when you sleep through the night without so much as a dream.

You're pulled to wakefulness with your joints popping, your spine arched painfully as the last words of prophecy leave your lips. Price marks on velum, scratching with quick strokes of charcoal. He reaches a hand to pet your head, and you nuzzle into the touch. That seems to draw his attention, his eyes flicking to yours and his pencil stopping. You draw in a breath and taste smoke, funerary, you squeeze your eyes shut.

"What did they say?" You ask. You've never been a good orator, never better with your words than the spirits that possess you. Price traces his fingers over your cheek, soft, silent, mournful. You already know what they want.

"There's a healer we're meant to pick up," He tells you, "Will be good for the village, take some of the load off of you." You hum, though it comes out heavier than you mean it to, more of a sigh. Price clicks his tongue, more diplomatic than you ever have been. You wish he wasn't sometimes, that he'd kick up the fuss you want to, that he'd have some- some grievance with the work you send him out for.

There will be someone else to watch you when he leaves, an elder, someone that abides by the rules, that never seeks your comfort over the magic that you can provide. You like that Price never seemed to care for the rules around you, like that he's pushed his way into your little bubble. You know the elders are hoping he'll do more, that their precious captain and prized Völva might make something useful to them, but he's never done more than hold you.

"Is that all?" You push yourself to sit up and Price hands you a cup of water.

"You should rest," Is his answer. You hate when he does that. You reach around him for the velum prophecy and he catches your hand, brings your fingers to his lips, kissing them the way you wish so desperately he'd kiss you. "Sweetheart," He murmurs, the low drag of his voice dripping like honey over your tired mind, "worry about it in the morning."

"Will you still be here?"

The hesitation on his face, the pity in his eyes, is answer enough. You swallow your bitterness. Of course not. Price has his own affairs to attend to, he can't be seen tending to yours as well. He's not the priest of this temple, you are.

He cups your cheek, his thumb brushing against your skin with a reverence that only serves to stoking the aching in your chest. "My pretty Völva," He drags his finger over your lips, "my sun," your brows draw together, his thumb pushing into your mouth and against your tongue, he holds you in place even as your hand curls around his wrist, "just a little longer and I'll steal you for myself."

A chill ripples over your skin. He doesn't speak without thought, doesn't make promises he won't keep. You nod, feel his thumb hooked over your teeth like an anchor. There's something dark but honest shadowing the blue of his eyes when he nods back. Just a little longer, you tell yourself, and you'll be his. You could wait forever if it meant waiting for him.

[lelengerine]

helloo!!! I am so glad you are back again,really missed seeing you on my dash:(

also,from your mini drabble list, the arranged marriage au really caught my eye! can you please write it with jeno as the main protagonist? I don't have anything specific in mind except that I am obsessed with the opposites attract kinda trope but you can write it anyway you want! thank you in advance <3

love, lee

pairing | prince!jeno x princess!reader

genre | royalty + arranged marriage au, jeno uses a nickname for reader (love), no pronouns are specifically used for this, lmk if there’s any i missed!

wc | 0.9k

notes | i think my love for royalty aus are really stating to show now TT this is my first jeno work and there were actually multiple entries for jeno with the arranged marriage trope so i hope this suffices for now (maybe i’ll make a part two or follow another req if i can !!) it’s not exactly the same as what anon mentioned because i tried to condense the ideas to the size of a drabble as much as possible but i love all ur brains so much LIKE TELL ME MORE 😭😭 anw likes, rbs, and feedbacks are very appreciated ;0;

this is part of my drabble req event here!

m.list

there’s this prophecy that landed upon your kingdom just as its walls were newly established, one that spoke of prosperity if two individuals coming from royal backgrounds were to be wed under every full moon.

of course, that hasn’t come true (and you don’t believe it ever will), but both the civilians and the royal family hold onto that sliver of hope ever so dearly. though, in the position of being someone forced into the position of marriage, you can’t help but view the tradition as something simply bizarre and unnecessary.

moreover, you haven't a clue who you are about to marry. the thought irritates you to the core, and your mother’s repetitive words on how this was ‘something she experienced too’ not making you feel any better — in fact, it was dampening your already sour mood even further.

just why hadn’t this been dropped centuries ago? the answer to that question doesn’t seem to be keen on revealing itself to you.

and so here you are, behind tall wooden doors in a dress you struggle to move in — much less breathe in — that will soon reveal a banquet hall filled with your and your groom’s relatives, a plethora of aristocrats that you couldn’t even dare to name no matter how long you stared at them, and reporters who were ready to swarm you with questions whenever they’d get the chance.

“there’s no need to fear, my dear.” your mother states by your side, and a scoff is the first response she receives.

“i hope you understand that what you’ve said lacks any sensitivity for my situation.” you bitterly reply with a blank expression, not even turning to face her once. with that, she decides to keep silent, not wanting to aggravate you any longer.

the doors open, finally placing you on display for everyone to see, and the first person your eyes search for is your husband-to-be.

he stands in front of the beautifully decorated altar in a navy blue suit and fur coat that looks just as uncomfortable as the white gown you’re wearing, and you start to feel a little sympathy for him knowing he probably didn’t have any plans of marrying you either.

you were both victims in this grand scheme, after all.

a step, two steps, and before you know it, you’re meeting his gaze for the first time. he offers a soft smile that puffs up his cheeks ever so slightly, pupils shining beneath the lights that brighten up the entire hall, and for a moment, you forget how much you’ve detested this day to come.

‘get a grip, it’s definitely for show’, you mentally tell yourself as your lips return the kind gesture.

the ceremony soon starts, and the words spoken by the priest pass through your ears like static fuzz, not paying attention to the prophecy that was being retold to the audience.

“i assume you were forced into this?” you begin in a whisper, wanting only the person beside you to hear your voice.

you turn to gaze at him and he looks a little surprised you actually started a conversation. “sure.”

sure? what kind of response was that? the least he could do was respond with a decisive yes or no to not leave you hanging like this. perhaps that smile from earlier really was to fool the reporters on a loveless marriage

“could you at least tell me your name?” you try to reach out once more, “it’s laughable as is to know we are in the middle of being wed and i have not a single clue on who you are.”

“lee, jeno.” he responds, and though it technically is an answer to your question, you’re oddly left unsatisfied at how perfunctory it was. “yours?”

“l/n, y/n.” you state in the same manner as if you wanted him to feel the same as you did just moments prior. “how does it feel to get married to a stranger? because i surely find this unsettling.”

you tried to play into humor, hoping to get a better reaction out of him, but what he says shocks you instead. “we aren’t strangers though.”

“what-” you start to sputter, however the priest cuts you off at the mention of announcing your respective vows.

“i’m sure you’ll recall it soon enough.” jeno’s expression finally shifts from his icy facade to a sly smirk that perfectly exemplifies his features, and you’re not sure whether to find the sight unsettling or absolutely breathtaking. “because i’ve known you my entire life, love.”

the nickname has your mind reeling in circles, paying no attention to the vows jeno was now dictating like a memorized poem of sorts. there was ever only one person who’s called you by that name, though it could never be someone like him… could it?

you snuck out of the castle to one of the town’s bakeries back when you were younger, meeting a boy who told you he was doing the exact same thing because he swore their garlic bread was absolutely out of this world, and that’s exactly why you came in the first place. it was like you both clicked, and that meeting became the first of many. though, as you grew older, your hectic tutoring schedules made it difficult for you to frequent the bakery as much as you used to.

still, you remember he suggested exchanging letters as a means of keeping in contact, and he’s the only one who’s referred to you as love. his love.

you’re abruptly taken away from your thoughts as the priest repeats your name, “princess, your vows if you may.”

“oh um, sorry.” you quickly apologize, trying to gather yourself back up.

jeno’s gaze on you looks much more animated than before, almost as if there was a playful glint that replaced the cold ones from earlier. where was the man you met moments ago as the event started? “i suppose you remember now.”

“yeah.” you breathe out, “yeah, i do.”

[xetswan]

The Switch of Daylight- Reincarnate Pt. 2

(Alice x Reader x Jasper)

[six] [seven] [eight]

That night I laid in my bed, casually going from staring at my ceiling to the books and the papers I have information written on. My eyes then flicker over to the whipped up papers from the letter that Alice and Jasper gave me. My fists begin to clench from the thought of how Sam knew that what was in that letter was about some prophecy that I'm in. ME. It's valuable to knowing what or who I am.

I go back to staring up at the ceiling. This was a the worst time for me. Especially because it's the loneliest. It was better when I had the Cullen's. I'd sneak out of the window when I knew Charlie was sleeping and go hang out with them until it was time for me to go back in the morning before my dad would check that I was sleeping in bed. It became a habit for him after I went missing. I knew he still had a hard time with it, it's something I feel guilty for knowing that eventually I'm going to have to fake my death. Alice and the other's, I knew they were right. That he's going to question me when I'm forty with no wrinkles. That's why I'm going to do it in a few years, when I know he's happier. When he's found someone for himself to lean on.

I just hope he isn't stubborn enough to not find that person.

I should call Billy Black before I forget.

Just then I get some weird energy burst through me, I sit upright quickly. I look around my room confused. "What the hell?" I whisper to myself, probably not even audible to a normal human. Standing up, I go over to the books. Feeling myself getting drawn over to them, which is strange. I read through them numerous times, I shouldn't have missed anything. I grab the second book, opening it up and flipping through it. Then as I sit back down on my bed, my eyes start to feel heavy. Like I was actually getting tired. I haven't felt this feeling for months. It was a feeling I didn't think I was going to miss.

I lay back down on the bed and let it take over my body.

But when I woke up I wasn't home. I was awake, it felt cloudy though, possibly a dream but more real. "[Name], help yer brother set up the fishin' trap!" A man's voice called out. I sat up from the bed I was in, glancing down to see the white cotton dress I wore. I scrunched up my face, confused on what was happening.

"[Name], come on! Didn't ya hear yer father?" A woman storms into the room I was in and I stare at her, not understanding what was happening. "I- what?" I spoke with uncertainty.

"Yer father told ya to help yer brother, [Name] and you ain't even dressed?" The woman tsk's at me, a baby on her hip who babbles adorably. "My father?" I rub my forehead, getting up from the bed. "[Name] Adkins, don't play dumb wit' me and do as yer told." She points a finger in my face before slamming the wooden door behind her. I glance around before going over to a dresser, pulling out some dress. I huff, staring at whatever kind of style this was.

"Where the fuck am I?" I go to pinch myself to wake up but nothing happens. I even feel the pain.

"Adkins? Who the fuck is Adkins?" I mutter to myself, throwing the dress over my head. Smoothing it out before looking around the room I'm in once again. It had a wooden dresser, then a strange mirror that seemed nailed into the wooden wall. I then look at my bed that had quilts laid on it with a two pillows.

"Strange." I finally leave the room, the house was smaller. It's like when you go to a museum type place that builds the houses from "the past", this is exactly what it looks like.

Are the Quileute boys playing some prank on me?

I go outside, a body comes up next to me, nudging me and I almost attack it. Then my body freezes once I notice who it was. "Jasper?" I step back. "Yes, darlin'?" He chuckles, pulling me in for a kiss. My body's tense as I let it happen. "Aren't you mad at me?" I ask once he lets me go. Not even realizing I was trying to catch my breath.

Catch my breath?

I then feel my heart beating and the sun down on me, a slight panic sets through me but I hide it. "Mad at you, whatever for, sweetheart?" Jasper questions me, he takes my arm in his and we are walking to a small boy who's setting up some wired trap. "For... for-" I look at his clothes, he's wearing a loose white button up with pants that seemed maybe a little tight. And to top it off a cowboy hat on the top of his head. "I don't know." I laugh nervously. It all catching up with me, his accent, his outfit, the mysterious woman.

This is a past life.

My first life. 

"All right, if you say so, darlin'." He kisses my cheek before joining the little boy to help him with the trap he was making.

"Honey, can you hold Jesiah while I start up dinner?" The same woman comes over to me, handing me the baby before I can even respond. "Uh, of course." I mutter out. My memories of this life are a little fuzzy. I'm slowly remembering though. The little boy, making the trap is Jakov my younger brother who's 9, the baby is obviously Jesiah. My father, he's Jakov too, my brother is named after him. And the mysterious woman, she's my mother, Willow.

I carefully walk down the hill with the baby, sitting down near Jasper and Jakov.

This seems like a really simple life. Jasper is my love in my first ever life. Who would've thought? I know I saw him in the dessert field before I was killed but I didn't know we actually knew each other. Why didn't he tell me?

"Darlin'! You alright? You seem dazed." Jasper comes up to me, I smile over at him. "Just remembering something about you." I answer him, it's the truth I am. He just doesn't know it's from his future. "What about me?" He nudges me with his elbow before tickling my baby brother a little bit, just enough to make him smile. "How we first met." I lean my head on his shoulder.

"Oh wow, that's been quite some time." He chuckles, wrapping an arm around me and we both watch my little brother use the fishing trap they just put together. "Now we're finally to be wed..." He whispers, my eyes widen quickly covering it up even though he doesn't see it. How didn't I remember this when I got my memories back? I feel something on my neck and I go to feel it. It's a locket. Almost like the one my father gave when I moved to Forks. I look down at it and it's the exact one...

And just as I go to ask him a question everything starts to get tiring. My eyes getting heavy, and as much as I try to fight it, I fall asleep with my head on Jasper's shoulder.

I thought this time I would wake back up to my real home. My life I'm supposed to be in right now but instead I wake up in a hospital. Confused I rub my head, sitting up.

A nurse comes in, her face was skinny, her eyes sunken in like she hasn't slept in weeks. "Please, no trouble today, [Name]." She has a syringe needle on a tray with other things, placing it down in-front of me. I stay quiet, letting her do what she needs to do. "You're not going to bite today?" She seemed relieved, I mean I would too knowing someone wasn't going to bite me in a what I'm guessing is a mental hospital. "No." I whisper, rubbing my arm after she gets done with what she's doing.

"Why am I here?" I question quietly. "Don't mess with me [Name]." She scoffs in my direction, writing something down in a file. "I'm not." I truthfully tell her. "You tried to jump off of a bridge, you can't tell me you don't remember that, [Name]." She places her hands on her hips after placing the file down.

"Why am I still here?" I ask, trying to act like that was my actual question and not the first one. "You've resisted help and fought the staff until today, which is strange I might add." Her voice was hoarse, raspy even. "Oh, sorry." I glance away from her.

"I'm going to get the doctor to check you and then it's time for breakfast." She rolls her eyes, leaving the room, shutting the door behind her and I'm alone in the room again.

I stand up, seeing a mirror across from me. I look at myself in the mirror. It's definitely a two way mirror. Someone could be on the other side of it watching me. I squint my eyes to check if I can see anything, knowing that I can't I move on to the next thing in the room. A water bottle. Man, I might look crazy right now. I guess it fits being where I am. I can't believe one of my lives I wanted to die. I actually wanted death. What happened to me? My memories of my past lives are being subjective and I'm not enjoying this at all.

The door suddenly opens to show a man in a white coat. I back away from him instinctively. My arms tingle with goosebumps. The hairs standing up on my skin and I suddenly feel like I'm in danger.

"Hey, it's just me" Yeah I think that's the problem. "Take a seat on the bed." He tells me and I shake my head. Why do I feel this way? "[Name] you were being so cooperative I heard, what happened?" There's a smile on his face but it doesn't feel welcoming. "Hey the sooner you do as you're told the sooner you can get out of here." He tries to come near me but I back away once more, accidentally falling onto the bed anyways. "See, wasn't so hard." He grabs the stool from across the room, scooting it over to the bed I'm now sitting on. "Alright, have you been taking your medicine?"

And dejavu kicks in. I remember this. I wasn't taking the medicine, I hid it under my tongue then threw it away. "Yes." I lie. I obviously did it for a reason. This isn't real anyways. I'm reliving past things. I think...

The consultation was long, but luckily now they're letting me out of this room to go eat breakfast. A nurse walked beside me, a file in hand, she was writing as she walked. I observed the hospital around me, the people I mean. They were all different. Obviously, that was stupid to say.

The nurse helped me get my food and then I sat down by myself. I begin to eat the crappy food, thankfully it didn't taste like sand. I miss having tastebuds like I used to. Caught in thought about missing food I didn't even see the smaller body that sat in front of me. When I glanced upwards I see it's Alice.

My Alice.

She seems more frail than I've ever seen her. She smiles at me and I do it back. Now trying to see if I can remember anything.

I'm only seeing bits and pieces of things in my mind, we've kissed in this life. "Did he do anything this time?" She speaks. I look up at her confused. "He?" I question. "Doctor Monse. Did he try to hurt you again?" She asks, my eyes widen slightly. That's why I felt danger around him...

"He didn't." I say, I notice her shoulders relax. "Good, you're being cooperative now." She smiles, she didn't ask this, it was a statement. I wonder how she knew. "Yes." I admit. "My words finally gotten to your head?" I feel her hand reach for mine underneath the table, I take it immediately. "Your words?" I smile back to her, tilting my head. "How you should take your chance to leave, and just visit me instead of keeping yourself cooped up here." She reminds me and my mouth goes in the shape of an 'o'.

"Right." I nervously laugh quietly. "I don't want to, but I could help us become something out there." I tell her, mentally I'm confused by my own words. It's like it wasn't me who actually said it. "Love, you don't need to worry about an us. I'm stuck here." She rubs my hand with her thumb.

"I can get you out." I assure her, she stays quiet this time, only a shake of her head in response before we're all told lunch time is about to be over.

Looking at her I start to become tired. "No." I whisper. Sitting up straight and letting go of Alice's hand. "Are you alright?" She asks me in a mumbled tone. "I want to be here with you a little longer." I urge out, trying to fight the tiredness. "Love bug you have to go home." She tells me, the nickname. That was always my nickname? My chest rises and falls in a quick pace. I don't want to leave. Not yet. Even if this is a dream somehow. Please... I didn't realize my time was going to be so short in my past lives.

And now it's dark.

When I wake up, I'm not gasping for air. I'm not breathing anymore. I'm home again. "Damn it!" I shout, punching my bed, unintentionally breaking one of the boards underneath. "Shit." I whisper, standing up, and on the floor is the second book I was holding before I fell asleep and went into some weird whatever thing that was. I pick it up and open it to a random page.

"Reincarnate's Soulmates."

Soulmate's as in multiple?

I swear I didn't see this page when I read through it before.

I need Jasper and Alice here. I don't understand any of this.

I need to call Billy or Sam. I don't care. I need help understanding what's going on.

[aurumacadicus]

I posted the first two parts of minotaur Steve (under same tag) specifically so you all could have some slight background on this scene (because I wanted it to hurt more probably):

"You have to come," Tony exclaims, angry, but there's some genuine panic threading his voice. "We've come this far, you can't just--"

"You dragged me this far," Steve snarls, and only feels a little bad when Tony takes a nervous step backward. "You took me from the labyrinth for your own reasons. It was never to rescue me from living and dying there. Now you want me to die to save you? You're no better than the gods."

Tony looks hurt for a moment, like Steve has taken one of his massive hands and just slapped him, but it doesn't hide the hint of shame that crosses his face. He recovers quickly, though, anger covering everything. "It's not my fault. I'm not the one who made that shitty prophecy. I wanted to solve my own problems. The gods are the ones who decided I couldn't!"

"So you'd sacrifice me?!" Steve bellows, and Tony skitters backward, clutching the Rogers shield to himself protectively. "Like I'm a dumb animal?! You should have taken one of the others. At least they wouldn't know one way or the other." He glares at Tony for a moment. He doesn't know how to explain how much this betrayal hurts, that Tony knew the gist of the prophecy meant Steve would probably die and had strung him along with him anyway. Had probably offered Steve the gift of his body knowing he would never have to fulfill it, he thought, perhaps uncharitably. He doesn't even want that, which doesn't help the hurt at all.

He should have known the world outside the labyrinth wasn't for him, is probably what hurts the most. There was a reason his mother had never brought him outside, even after she'd realized Steve could navigate the walls. She'd never asked him to find the way out so she could show him the sky. She'd known what Tony had apparently known, but hadn't had the heart to tell him--he's a monster, and men kill monsters. There will never be a place for him in open air.

"I hope the Hydra Cult burns your entire forest to the fucking ground," Steve snarls, and it mostly isn't true, but he wants Tony to hurt as much as he'd hurt him.

It works a little too well, he thinks, as Tony sucks in a breath that sounds more painful than helpful. His eyes fill with tears, and his face flushes with shame and embarrassment. There's a moment where he starts to feel guilty.

But Tony rallies quickly, flush turning to anger, blinking back his tears as if they never existed. "Fine. Go back to the labyrinth for all I care. I hope someone kills and roasts you like the beast you are before you get there," he snarls. He throws the shield at Steve's hooves. "I don't need this. I don't need you. I can take care of my forest myself."

"Sure," Steve spits back, glaring, as Tony turns on his heel to stomp down the road. The urge to remind him he had to save him from a few satyrs along the way is on the tip of his tongue, but something in him makes him swallow it back. Probably the part of him that remembers his mother's expression before she'd told him to run away and hide. It would be too low a blow, even for him, even as angry as he is.

He bends to pick up the shield. He doesn't understand how it can be a weapon. His mother had never spoken of it. But then, it had been from her husband's side of the family. He had inherited it because of her name, not because they'd accepted him. They'd only given it to him when Tony had mentioned a prophecy. Humans were scared of being on the wrong side of a prophecy, the village elder had said as he'd passed it over to them. It's heavy. He's reluctantly impressed Tony had carried it as long as he had, too anxious at the sight of the emblem burned into his hip to take it in his own hands.

Was Tony's kind understanding just pity, because he knew he was bringing Steve to die, Steve wonders. Or was he being kind to be kind? He'll never know, he figures, turning to chuck it into the sea.

Then he hears a sound, perhaps the most awful one he's ever heard--agony, and defeat, and dismay, all at once. His mother had instilled a conscience in him. He turns.

Tony is crumpling to the ground. Steve thinks he's tripped, for a moment, except his hands don't go out to catch himself. He just falls, and lies there where he landed, small and unmoving. Like the gods had struck him down where he stood for his hubris.

"Tony," Steve gasps, only half against his will, and thunders after him.

Steve is so careful as he turns him onto his back, feeling awkward and unwieldy. Tony's shaking--seizing, he remembers his mother calling it once, eyes rolled back in his head, saliva foaming in the corners of his mouth. As he watches, a drop of blood begins to trickle from his nose. He cradles Tony's head in one big hand, so he doesn't hit it on anything, feeling helpless, just like he had as his mother had passed away in his arms.

Tony doesn't pass away, though. Eventually, he sags in Steve's hold, eyelids fluttering. He coughs, and a fine mist of blood fills the air in front of his mouth.

"Tony," Steve whispers, pulling him close to his chest. "What happened?"

Tony says nothing for a few minutes, focused on catching his ragged breath. Finally, though, he croaks, "They cut through one of my heartwoods." He coughs again, then sobs, looking up at Steve with liquid eyes. "Steve, they're killing everyone in the east of my forest."

Steve frowns. "How do you know?"

"I can feel them dying," Tony sobs, and somehow he manages the strength to grab Steve's arm, crying in earnest. "I can feel all of them dying around me. I couldn't protect them. I couldn't do enough. They're dying because of me."

"Tony," Steve whispers, cradling him to his chest, as Tony sobs and sobs.

[fallingsolonely]

Heaven & Hell

Warning: This one-shot contains dark and sexual content.

[This is an edited version of a one-shot I wrote a few years ago, I hope you enjoy!]

Theme: Demon!Harry

Word count: 12.8k

~~~~

Earth. What a magnificent paradise. Created perfectly in my father's image.

I've been reading about it for years. I've been begging for almost a millennia to visit.

Aristol, my brother and also, in his words, my 'superior' has long refused. But I'm finally getting my chance.

I finally got my first assignment on Earth.

Aristol is furious about it, I know he's been going behind my back to Mariella and telling her that 'I'm just a child and can't handle a place like Earth, let alone go on this assignment'

He was adamant that it should be him.

1. I am not a child. I'm not much younger than Aristol as much as he likes to claim.

2. I have proven myself, I've done all my studies and I have trained for this my entire life.

As stunning as Earth is, I am well aware of the way it has been corrupted.

But where there is a storm, a rainbow is not far behind.

I've been on Earth for almost two weeks now. Europe. I've only seen maps, to be here is surreal.

To see how my father's creation has grown into what it is, it's amazing.

Humans are fascinating to me.

I'm not meant to interact much, but I can't help it.

Especially my assignment. A beautiful little boy by the name of Isaac.

A prophecy that came to the angels attention exactly 12 years ago, the day he was born.

I like to look at Mariella as a mother figure. She believes in me, pushes me to be strong.

Shes our link, almost like what humans would call a telephone.

She speaks directly with our father and 12 years ago, we received a message about a little boy with astounding power.

For the first 11 years of his life, he would be protected from the most awful parts of the world and the creatures who surround it. But, when he reaches 12, his presence would officially take hold and all creatures would become aware of him.

Which is incredibly dangerous.

That's where I come in. Angels have been preparing for this little boys 12th birthday for a long time and we have put as much protection on him as we can.

I've been assigned to watch over him.

I was strictly told not to interact with him. Just watch.

On my first day of observing him, he knew it.

He touched my hand and the first thing he asked me was if I wanted to get icecream with him.

It's almost like he knew. Treating me like he's known me his whole life.

I've never tried food of any kind before, but it's amazing.

Icecream, it's sweet and cold and comes in so many different flavors I feel dizzy when I have to choose.

For the last two weeks I've been meeting Isaac at the Icecream truck in the park near his house.

Power radiated off of this little boy and he seemed to have no clue about it. But I can see it in the way he talks, he's smart. He's intuitive and extremely wise for only being alive for a mere 12 years.

After trying icecream, I went and tried all the food I could. It's so amazing to me the things humans have created. I think my favourite is coffee.

It makes my body tingle in the strangest way.

So now, every day before I meet up with Isaac, I stop in this quiet little coffee shop.

I love watching them go about their day, humans.

I'm so grateful to the lady named Eileen who makes me a different kind of coffee every time I come in.

She's so sweet.

I don't understand Aristol's hatred towards them. The way he talks about them, like every single human is corrupt.

But it's not true. Not in the slightest.

Life, is beautiful.

"You're practically one of them" I jump slightly, looking up from the paper I am reading.

Aristol.

"I told Mariella you were to young and stupid for this assignment" He shakes his head, looking me up and down.

"You better start acting like an angel before someone snuffs you out"

Hes bitter about being pushed to the side.

"I think I blend in better like this" I smile at my brother and sip my coffee.

"I've been doing well, watching over Isaac. He's safe" He looks at me with disgust as I drink the coffee.

"We'll see"

With that, he's gone.

How Aristol doesn't see the beauty of our fathers world, is crazy to me. It's beyond incredible.

I walk along the path towards the park and to my surprise, I see Isaac.

I only see the back of his head, but he's sitting next to someone.

Hastily, I make my way over to them.

"(Y/N)!" Isaac smiles widely when I come up to them. Next to him is an unfamiliar man in a black suit.

"I made another friend" He's so happy about it. Smiling ear to ear with an icecream in his hand.

"Isaac, you should be more careful" I say it softly to him, but I can feel myself becoming more protective.

"Don't worry, pretty thing, I'm not going to hurt him"

I watch as Isaac goes to touch the man's hand, but before he can, the mystery man stands to his feet.

Already, the energy feels strange.

He stands tall, looking over me.

"Just keeping him company" The man smiles at me, scanning me with bright green eyes. In his hand, he has an icecream. As he looks over me, I watch as he licks the vanilla flavored cone.

"Enjoying this sweet little dessert" His smile turns into a smirk.

"He found me like you, (YN)" Isaac says, still smiling. Excited to be making friends.

"(Y/N), what a beautifully angelic name" He turns away from me and looks down at Isaac.

"I'll be seeing you soon, young man" He bends down to Isaac's height and smiles.

Then, he stands back up and looks at me while licking his cone. He stares me down for a moment before turning and walking away.

I can't help but feel weary as I watch him leave.

I turn to Isaac and then kneel in front of him.

I place my hand on his cheek and smile.

"I need you to be careful, Isaac" I say seriously.

"I don't want anything bad happening to you, you're special" He hugs me tightly.

"I'm sorry if I worried you, (Y/N). I'll be careful" I hug him tighter and then pull back.

"Whenever you meet someone who wants to be friends with you, I want you to touch their hand" I take his hand and hold it tightly. I know he can feel my energy through touch.

It's an ability he's unaware of even possessing.

"Okay" He agrees, holding one of my hands with both of his.

_______

I'm still worried.

The appearance of the strange man is still haunting me. Something about him isn't right. Luckily, Isaac's house is a safe haven. Enchanted by sigils meant for protection. Not even Angels can enter through it.

But to be sure, I don't stray far from his home.

The sun has set and the city is quiet.

Sleep, a source of energy humans need. I don't quite understand it, but Isaac loves to tell me about it. About the dreams he has.

Visions of someone protecting him.

Visions of shadows that he calls nightmares.

I don't like hearing about those ones, I'd do anything to make them go away.

Emotions are something all creatures feel, including angels. It's something we have to learn to control, I'm still in the learning bit.

Aristol tried to use it as an excuse for why I was unfit for this position.

At the moment, fear is swirling through me. I've never encountered the creatures that were rumored to roam the Earth.

But as I make my way around Isaac's neighbourhood, I can feel the piercing sting of someone's eyes. Like I'm being followed.

Isaac's house is on the other street, I should find a place closer to settle for the night.

Usually, I'll explore in the hours of darkness. But tonight, I'm scared.

I peak down an alley. A shortcut.

My instinct is to teleport but I don't want unwanted attention and I can already feel eyes on me.

I step into the alley. It's not super long, thankfully and in the darkness of it I feel a little safer teleporting.

I go to close my eyes, to bring myself to Isaac's street but before I get the chance, a hand clamps down over my mouth.

"Make a sound, I clip those pretty wings"

The voice whispers in my ear.

"You try anything, that precious boy is good as dead" He warned.

My first thought is to tear him away with whatever power I can, but then he mentions Isaac.

An innocent little boy.

I stop struggling against his hold on me and suddenly everything is black.

He pulled something over my head, blinding me from seeing who he is and where he takes me.

Instantly I know he's not a creature of Earth when we teleport. Not long after, I'm pushed into a chair and cuffs are tied around my wrists against the arms of the chair.

"If you're a good girl for me, perhaps I'll takes these off. Just a little precaution for my sake" He whispers, pulling away the fabric that he had put over my head.

I open my eyes and I'm met with green.

The same green eyes I had met with Isaac in the park.

Instinct takes over me and I try to get myself loose.

But my power is gone. I look down at the straps on my wrist. Each one scribed with a dark power binding sigil.

I'm trapped.

When he chuckles, I look up at him.

"No use trying with those on, love" He smiles at me.

"W-What are you doing?" I can't help it. I'm terrified.

"A little birdie told me an angel was coming to town" I look over him, he's dressed in all black, all the way down to his shoes.

"Expected more of a fight from you, angel. Never seen one give up on a fight so easily" He kneels down in front of me, our eyes level.

In a flash, I watch as each little vein in his eyes grow dark until they are black.

A demon.

Children of my fallen brother, Lucifer.

I've never met one. I never wanted to meet one. They were soulless and wicked.

"Is this your first time meeting a demon, sweetheart?" He stands up to his feet, smoothing out the suit jacket he's wearing.

The smile on his face is sickening.

"What do you want?" I want to be confident, stand my ground but my voice is quiet.

I'm so afraid.

I don't know what to do. I'm stuck.

"I'd love nothing more than to suck the sweet little soul out of your body" His smile is unwavering, his thumb running over his bottom lip as he stares at me.

"I can only imagine how it tastes-" He leans over me, biting his lip.

"So tempting, I can practically smell it" I try to push myself away from him, his hand coming up to my cheek.

His fingers are warm, burning my skin but I shiver at the feeling.

He leans down closer to me, closing his eyes and taking a breath.

"Sweet like icecream" When his eyes open again, I watch the black recede. They are green again.

"Look at you, so afraid of me. It's intoxicating" His fingers trace my jaw and then he steps away.

"So fragile" He chuckles some more.

"I'm sorry, darling. It's just amusing to me that out of all the assholes they could have sent, they sent down....you" He laughs even more.

"Sounds like a set up to me, darling. Do you really think you can protect something that everyone is looking for?" He's smiling, mocking me.

It makes me angry. I'm not weak.

I struggle against the restraints, but nothing. Not even a sliver of power.

"We know he's hidden in the area you were lurking" He reaches into his jacket and pulls out a blade. He looks it over and then back at me.

"We want the same thing, angel" His smirk makes my stomach turn.

"To see that little boy take on the world. Or more favorably, take out the world" He takes a step towards me again, twirling the blade in his hand.

"You just have to tell me his exact location" I close my eyes tightly when he begins to point the blade towards me.

"I'd hate to ruin this beautiful face" I take a deep breath when I feel the tip of the blade on my cheek.

Delicately, he moves it over my skin.

He pulls it back and I open my eyes. It's still pointed at me.

I look up at him.

"Please..." I can't do this. I can't tell him where Isaac is. I'd die to protect him.

"Please" He mocks me, rolling his eyes.

"So many things I want to do with this" He smirks and looks at the blade.

"Perhaps in another meeting, angel girl" He brings the knife down and cuts the straps binding my wrists.

"I know you aren't going to try anything, so obedient" He hums and brings his free hand up to my face. Before he can touch me, I think about breaking his hand and it does.

My power is back.

His face twists in pain for just a second before he snaps it back into place.

He glares at me, his eyes black again. He grabs me roughly, pulling me out of the chair and then grabbing my throat.

In an instant, I'm shoved against the wall.

"Try that again, I dare you" He squeezes so hard I struggle to breathe.

I want to kill him. But I can't. It will just put Isaac into more danger.

"Killing you would bring me so much joy, but no answers" He loosens his grip but his hand is still locked around my throat.

"So how about this, if you don't tell me where he is, I kill everyone on the entire block instead?" I glance around the dimly lit room. It's small. The only thing in it is the chair I was strapped to.

"Why do you want him?" You know the answer already. He's powerful.

Power is the only thing these creatures care about.

"To many questions, darling and not enough answers" I can see him getting frustrated.

"What's your name?" I reach out my hand to touch him and when I do, he drops his hand from my throat and backs away from me. He's visibly angry. The knife in his other hand is clenched in his fist.

"Tell me where he is or when I find him, I'll cut his heart out" He snapped, raising the blade at me again.

"Please, don't hurt him. I'll do anything. Just please, don't kill him" I'm desperate, I beg with the soulless man and look into his darkened eyes.

"Kill me instead, don't hurt him" His demeanor changes just slightly.

"Every angel I've met, I've never met one like you" His knife is still pointed at me, but his voice is calmer.

"So, emotional" He steps towards me again.

"My guess, you don't even know what the child is" He comes so close to me, I hold my breath.

He brings the blade up again, pushing my hair away from my face. He smiles a bit and then takes the knife away, putting it back into his jacket.

"But maybe we could think of something" He leans in even closer to me, bringing his lips to my ear.

"You'll do anything?" He pulls back to look at me, his eyes now back to green. He bites his lip.

I nod quickly, completely unaware of what's going on in his mind.

I will die to protect Isaac and if death is my fate, I will accept it.

"What is this little angel willing to give up?" He wonders, his hand coming up to my face. His finger running along my bottom lip.

I want to bite it right off, but I know it won't end well so I refrain.

"Anything, just promise me you won't hurt him"

I go to reach out to him but he grabs both my wrists and pins them against the wall.

"Sorry, angel. Demons don't make promises" He leans close to my face.

"You're just going to have to trust me, can you do that, baby?"

I know I can't. I can't trust something like him.

Hes vile and nothing good will come out of trusting him.

But what choice do I have here?

I look at him and then nod a little bit, his smirk becoming more wicked.

"What a good girl" He placed his hand on my cheek and stroked it gently.

It burns my skin like his fingers are laced with poison. But the rings on his fingers send shivers up my spine.

"Tell me, honey, just how innocent are you?" His voice is quiet and menacing.

I didn't know what he meant.

"Never got this pretty white dress dirty before?" I look at him, confused. It seemed to edge him on even more. Like he enjoyed it.

I shake my head at his question, why would I get myself all dirty?

Heaven is clean, pristine.

I miss it. Heaven is safe and pure.

"Angels, all work and no play" He leans in so close, his cheek is almost touching mine. His lips are by my ear.

"What do you do for fun, darling?" His breath is warm and I can almost feel the stubble from his face.

"I-I don't know"

Hes so close to me I feel like I'm suffocating. His scent is overwhelming.

"Would you like to know what I do?" He takes a breath, his lips touching my skin for just a split second before he steps back from me.

The blade he had put away, he takes out again.

I can't begin to imagine what a demon would do for fun.

I don't want to know.

"It depends on how I'm feeling that day, honestly"

This is it. He's going to kill me.

"Carving is fun" He brings the dull part of the blade to my cheek and out lines my jaw.

"I would have so much fun carving you-" He licks his lip.

"But that's not the fun I'm in the mood for tonight" He continues to trail the blade down my neck. I watch him.

"Call me crazy, angel. But I like you. So different from your waste of space siblings" He knicks my flesh with the blade, making me wince.

It only takes a moment before the wound heals it self.

"It just brings me so much pleasure seeing the fear in your eyes" He glances up at me.

Finally, he pulls the knife away. He puts it back into his jacket.

"Would you like to have some fun with me, baby? I'd say it's the better option"

I look away from him, still not knowing what he wants from me. What could he possibly want to do with me?

"W-What do you want to do?" I stutter on my words, avoiding his stare.

"Been with many things in my lifetime, never an angel" He smiles. But I'm still so confused.

I can't figure it out. I don't know if I want to.

"So clueless" He laughs and grabs my chin, making me look at him.

"So innocent, it makes me sick" He looks right into my eyes, holding onto my face tightly.

"Kind of hot" He glances down, looking at my lips and then back up to my eyes.

"Please, just tell me what you want" I plead with him. I'm done with his twisted games, I feel like I'm going crazy.

I have no idea what is happening.

"I want you, pretty angel. I want to taste these sweet looking lips" His thumb outlines my mouth.

"I bet they taste just as good as your soul would" He licks his lip again.

I go through the library of books in my mind, suddenly putting together what he desires.

"Copulation?" I look at him, not any less confused.

But fear rises in my stomach.

Copulation is apart of the human experience on Earth, meant for procreation. Angels can't procreate.

Even in my human form, procreating is impossible.

I've read about it, I've studied everything about the human species. I know pleasure is something humans crave and Copulation is supposed to be a joyful experience.

I know it is, it brings new life. It's amazing.

But angels are forbidden from participating in such an act. It wasn't meant for us, it's not something we crave.

I've never even thought about something like that.

For angels, it's immoral.

"So technical" He chuckles quietly.

"Have you ever felt pleasure, my darling angel?" He asks, his fingers replace the blade. They trace my skin and take the same route down along my jaw.

I can't even think about it.

There's whispers of angels who have strayed, they were never seen again.

I quickly shake my head.

"I can't. It's not meant for us" I whisper, looking at him.

"You're missing out, pretty thing" He looks at me for a moment and then backs away from me.

"Pleasure is not a sin. Why would your stupid father create something only to pick and choose who gets to enjoy themselves?" He runs his hand through his hair and smiles at me.

"W-Why do you want to do that with me?"

I look him over, he's tall. Intimidating.

"So perfect, I want ruin you" He bites his lip and stares me down.

I'd die to protect Isaac. I'd do anything.

"You won't hurt Isaac?" I ask, meeting his stare that I had tried avoiding.

He smirks.

Fear completely sinks in. If I were to be caught doing something like this, especially with a demon, I'd loose my wings.

"I just want to make you feel good, there's nothing sinful about that" His green eyes are sparkling as he looks at me.

"Why? Why haven't you just killed me?"

It's so unclear, it would be much easier for him to just get rid of me.

"Most angels I come across, usually do have that fate. Hate those arrogant fuckers" He shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

"But you, my darling, are different. Sweet little thing, innocent" He came towards me, sliding his hands up my arms.

"They all act so pure, but you should know darling, that some of your siblings are just as bad as us" He blinked, his eyes appearing black again. He brings a hand to my throat.

I take a deep breath, looking at him.

"Hm, but not you, princess" He pulls me closer, his grip getting tighter.

"You truly don't want to hurt anyone. It must be awful-" He laughs.

"Hurting people is so much fun" He squeezes hard and then let's go of me.

"So, untouched. Just the thought of putting my cock in you drives me crazy"

His words make me flinch.

Being on Earth, I've heard some of the language they use. Some words, are extremely inappropriate.

"But, I am not the type to force pleasure onto someone. I don't need to, creatures of all kinds love to throw themselves at me. I'm like, God to them" I get angry, disgusted with way he threw around my father's name.

I try to hide it, knowing he's trying to get a reaction out of me.

"What do you say, my angel? Do you want to experience pleasure you've never dreamed of?" He asks, his smile wide.

"What's your name?" I ask, my voice soft.

I vowed to die for Isaac. I will protect him no matter the cost.

"Why does it matter?" He crosses his arms.

Hes right. I don't want to hurt anyone, or anything. Not even the darkest ones. I just want to help and protect.

Most demons, were once human. If I could find that part of him, maybe this will be easier.

"Please?" I whisper, reaching up to place my hand on his cheek. His jaw clenches and he shoves my hand away from him.

"It's only fair, you know mine" I say quietly, looking up at him.

His eyes are far from innocent.

"Harry" He looks at me, his hardened state softening slightly.

"Harry..." I repeat his name under my breath. Looking down at my feet.

I wonder if that it's the name he had before he became lost.

"Isaac will be safe?" I look back up at him, his eyes now green again. I prefer the green so much more. It makes him look human.

"Perhaps" He nods just a bit.

But, he won't confirm it. He won't promise me.

Trust is the only thing I can do.

How do I trust a demon?

"You won't hurt me?" I look at my hands, they are shaking a little.

I've never even thought of doing something like this.

"So many things I want to do to you pretty girl, hurting you is not one of them. At least, for the moment. I've got other plans for you" He grabs my face and makes me look at him.

"Can't lie to you, angel. Killing you and bringing your pure little soul to hell is a dream I will be having later" He strokes my cheek.

"Maybe another day" His smirk is sinful. My breathing picks up, thinking about it. Going to hell.

"If you'd rather leave, there's the door" He backs away from me again. Giving me space.

I glance at the door. I think about teleporting away but I think of Isaac.

My mind races when I feel a pit in my stomach. Not of fear, but curiosity.

What is it about pleasure that everyone seems to desire?

"Reading people is a talent of mine, darling. I can see those pretty eyes swimming. Is this little angel feeling a sense of curiosity?"

I want to say no to him. But I can't because he's right.

My stomach turns.

I shake my head, trying to push away the feeling.

"I'm doing this to protect Isaac" I whisper, more to myself than him.

I hate it, I hate the feeling inside of me. I don't want to be curious about anything.

Never once, in my millenia have I thought about unnatural desires.

"Isn't lying a sin?" He's mocking me, I can see it.

Nothing has happened and already I feel disgraced as an angel. Thoughts I shouldn't be having are creeping into my mind and I don't know what to do.

"I-I'm not lying" I try to stand my ground, but my brain is crumbling. In his eyes, I can see the joy. I see how much he loves watching me have a moral crisis.

"Can you feel it, angel? The heat starting to burn between those cute little thighs?" He wonders, his hand sliding into my hair and pulling my face close to his.

At the mention of it, I instinctively tighten my legs together. I don't know what it is, this feeling. I don't want to feel it but I can't help it.

With each inch that he moves closer, it burns even more.

"Come on, I have a place a little more comfortable" He brushes my lips with his own, and my stomach flutters.

"Although, bending you over that chair and fucking your brains out would be very fun"

My whole body burns at his incredibly dirty words.

He smiles and grabs my hand.

In a flash, we appear in a bigger room. Against the wall is a cleanly made bed.

"Where are we?" I ask, looking around the room. The window is boarded up, preventing me from looking outside.

"Don't worry about it, darling" He says, a devilish smirk on his face.

He reaches next to my head, flicking the light on.

I try not think about the fact we could be in someone's house, what may have happened to them.

"You're so tiny" He chuckles and pushes me against the wall.

"So fucking pretty" His fingers run along my face, stopping at my lips for a brief moment before he continues down my neck.

I'm nervous, my knees feeling weak.

I'm about to throw away every rule an angel has.

But my stomach tingles when I think about his lips brushing mine.

Desire fills my consciousness and I'm scared.

I want him to do it again.

"Nervous?" He asked, pushing some of my hair behind my ear and then cupping my cheek.

He leans in, lightly pressing his lips to mine again.

The sensation of it makes me want to pull him closer.

I pull back from him, looking into his eyes.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

"I-I don't know what to do" I whisper, shyly glancing at his lips and then back at him. He smiles.

"How about-" He's so close to me, I'm getting dizzy.

"You kiss me, pretty girl?"

Our lips were almost touching. I've never been this close to someone in my entire life time.

Hesitantly, I copy him and place a hand on his cheek. Hoping he doesn't push me away again.

I look at his lips and then his eyes. I lean up towards him and close the small gap between our lips.

It lights my body up in a way I can't describe. I still haven't got a clue to what I'm doing but I try to follow his lead. I move my lips with his and I wonder if what I'm feeling is pleasure.

It doesn't feel bad. It doesn't hurt. It just makes me weak.

His hand moves slowly down my body until he reaches my thigh. He lifts it up against his hip, pulling me off the ground.

"Lift your other leg for me, baby" He mumbles and I listen to him, lifting up my other leg.

Roughly, he pushes his mouth against mine. One of his hands is holding my leg and the other slides to the back of my neck.

I find myself wrapping my hands around his neck, pulling him closer to me. The taste of him sweeter than anything I've ever tried.

He pushes his tongue into my mouth, his grip on me getting tighter with every moment.

I can't do anything about it, but an unfamiliar sound vibrates through me.

His tongue is even sweeter than his lips and I hate it. I hate how good it feels.

I can't understand why I'm feeling like this, how can something so dark make me feel so alive?

My body betrays my mind, it's craving. Desired to be touched, to soothe the ache between my legs.

My toes curl when he slides his hand under the fabric of my dress, pushing it up higher than it already is.

"I bet that cunt tastes like heaven" He pulled his lips back from me, and all I want to do is bring him back. He kisses down my neck, his prickly stubble tickling my skin.

I can't help but giggle at the feeling of it.

He pulls back to look at me.

"What are you giggling about?" He has an amused expression on his face.

My face heats up and I look away from him.

I still don't know what I'm doing.

"It tickles" I whisper and he smiles a little bit.

"Does it feel good?" He leaned back in towards my neck, kissing along my skin.

I don't want to admit it to him. I don't want him to think he's winning, but he is.

It feels amazing.

"Y-Yes" I breathe deeply, leaning my head back against the wall.

His lips continue to kiss on my skin, his other hand drawing circles on my thigh.

"Such soft skin, angel. So clean and perfect" He breathes slowly, it travels down my spine and makes me shiver.

I gasp, his teeth sinking hard into my skin. It stings but something about it makes me ache even more.

"Oh...." I grab his shoulders. My body weakening even more when he begins to suck. I bite my lip, stopping myself from letting out another noise.

It's embarrassing, the things my body is doing in response to this. I don't know how to stop it.

I don't know if I want it to stop.

"It's quite annoying that I can't leave any marks on this stunning body"

I smile a bit at that, a mini victory. It's funny that's he annoyed by how fast my body regenerates.

"You think it's funny?" I open my eyes when his teeth sink into my bottom lip.

He growls, definitely annoyed.

He leans back from me slightly and with his hand that was in my hair, he brings it to his jacket.

I think for a second that he's grabbing the blade again, but instead he pulls out a bottle.

Instantly I smell it, grimacing slightly.

Holy oil.

But there's nothing holy about it. It's a weapon used against angels. It's one of the only things that can burn our skin.

It's not permanent, but it takes much longer to heal from it.

"I wonder what would happen if I put some of this on my lips?" My eyes widen at his suggestion and he smirks.

"I like to leave my mark, darling. Have to make you remember me somehow" I watch as he opens the flask and brings it to his mouth, coating his lips and tongue. He shoves the flask back into his jacket and leans towards me.

I try to lean back from him but the wall stops me.

Just barely his lips brush over my jaw, the oil stinging my skin. I run my hands into his hair and grip it tightly, trying to pull him back.

"Harry!" I cry out when his teeth clamp down on my neck again.

This time, it burns.

The oil coating his mouth burns my flesh and I yank on his hair, trying to pull him back.

It's so unfamiliar, holy oil burns. It hurts, it's not pleasant.

But I feel pleasure and I can't comprehend how he makes it feel like this.

"Hm, that's better" He whispers in my ear, his lips coming back to mine.

Most of the oil had dissipated from his mouth, but there was a trace left.

I can feel the little needles of it against my lips.

But when he kisses me, I kiss him back eagerly. Ignoring the slight burn of it. He still tastes so good.

I'm horrified by the pleasure in my body.

I shouldn't have enjoyed it, but the feeling of his lips mixed with the burning did something to me that I can't explain.

"Would love to leave some marks all over this body, baby" He leans back into my neck, his tongue licking over the burn he created.

I fight against the sound that bubbles in my throat, still in disbelief that my body is twisting in pleasure.

My legs tighten against him, I desperately wanted to close them.

There was an ache, pulsing between my legs that I can't control. His hand that rested on my thigh made it even worse. He pushes my dress up higher and his hand comes down to my other thigh. His eyes still locked on me.

"You can't hide your desire from me, (Y/N). Those pretty little moans tell me exactly what you're feeling" He brushes my lips, his hands moving towards my inner thighs.

My breathing picks up and I look down at his hands.

My dress is pushed as far as it can go, and I know he can see my under garments.

It makes my face warm up, because he can feel the heat that's coming from them.

"Maybe I'll leave some marks on these thighs" He squeezes his hands, his lips kissing down my throat and towards my collarbone.

This time, I'm unable to keep the sound from coming out.

It's the thought of what it might feel like, his lips between my thighs coated in oil. It stings, but he makes it feel so good.

I don't know why I enjoy it. I can't even begin to think about how I'm enjoying any of this.

"You like that sound of that, baby?" He pulls back and smirks.

I shake my head, I don't want to admit it.

"Remember, angel, lying is a sin" He chuckled and moved his hands higher on the inner parts of my legs.

"You don't see me lying to you" He grabs my face with one of his hands.

"I'm going to bring you over to that bed and fuck that sweet little innocence out of you" He forces me to look at him while he says it. I bring my hands to my face, hiding from him.

I couldn't help but think about it, trying to imagine what it would possibly feel like.

"Now tell me, sweetheart, do you want me to touch you?" He rubs my thigh gently and smiles at me.

"Soothe the ache I know you're feeling" He chuckles a little bit, but I'm still covering my face. It's so warm, I feel embarrassed.

"Trying so hard to hide it from me.." He grabs my wrists and pulls them away from my face.

"Am I right, angel?"

I can't explain the emotions he's making me feel. I feel weak at how easily he sucked me into temptation but I wanted more of him.

Angels are strong, but how can I even call myself that?

I didn't put up a fight. I gave into him so quickly.

I am weak.

I pull my hands from his and bring them to his face. His skin is warm, despite his nature.

I haven't gotten the chance to really look him over. I bring my thumb to his lips, copying what he had done to me. I trace his lips, my eyes trained on them.

I can feel his stare, watching me intently.

I don't say anything to him, my voice is caught in my throat. Instead, I gently pull him to my lips. For just a moment, it's almost soft.

But quickly, he pushes his tongue into my mouth but I don't mind. It tastes sweet, like a candy.

"My little angel, you might want to ask your father to look away because I'm about to do some very bad things to you" He whispers against my lips.

He pulls us both away from the wall and grabs my hips, planting my feet back on the ground.

"So, modest" He hums and looks me up and down. I look down at what I'm wearing. A simple white dress that reached my knees. I think it's pretty. I've always loved white.

He tightens his grip on my waist and backs up until his legs reach the end of the bed. He sits on the edge of it, making us eye level to eachother.

"How about we take this off?" He slides his hands from waist up to the back of my dress.

I bite my lip, nodding at him a little.

Angels, when on earth, have a human form. It helps us blend in. It also helps us understand humans more. We don't have to worry about trivial things like sleeping, or going to the bathroom but our bodies function pretty similarly. Of course, Angels human form is much stronger than a regular human.

Harry's eyes don't leave me for a second. Hardly blinking as he pulls the zipper of my dress all the way down.

I take a deep breath. Becoming more nervous.

I've never been undressed in my life.

He slips his hand under the fabric and runs his hand up my back.

Hes so warm.

He pulls on the fabric until it falls to my ankles and suddenly I'm bare. The only thing covering me is my white under garment.

I quickly cover my chest, scared.

Hes not rough about it, but he grabs my arms and pulls them away, putting them at my sides.

"Don't be shy with me, angel. I think your body is delicious" He spreads his legs and pulls me between them. He brings his hands to the back of thighs and rubs them gently.

"So perfectly made" He bites his lip, his hands sliding higher.

I gasp when he slaps me and he laughs, his hands squeezing my behind.

"Something tells me you'd love to be bent over and whipped. I know I'd love to" He squeezes harder and I wish I could find an explanation for why it makes my body tingle so much. Not just his touch, but his words are making the heat between my legs burn.

He leans forward, his lips connecting to my skin just above my breasts. I run my hands up into his hair, lightly pulling at it.

"Been with many in my lifetime, none compare to you, angel" He squeezes the back of my thighs.

"Softest skin I've ever had the pleasure of touching" He continues with his lips on my skin, lightly biting down.

"I can only fucking imagine what it's going to feel like burying my cock in you" My legs stiffen at his words, trying to stop myself from feeling whatever it is that's raging through my stomach.

"You like it when I talk dirty to you, baby?" He pulls back and smirks at me.

"I-" I stumble on my words, trying to convince him that I don't. But my body doesn't agree. Every word, every touch makes me ache for more.

His smirk gets more wicked at my lack of words.

With a quick movement, he lifts one of my legs up onto the bed next to him, I grab his shoulders to keep myself from falling.

This position makes me feel much more vulnerable to him.

"Do you even notice how soaked you are, angel?" He laughs to himself, running his hand up my ankle until he reaches my knee.

He slows down a bit, tip toeing his fingers along my inner thigh.

He brings just the tip of his finger between my legs, pressing against where I had been dying for him touch.

"Can't wait to taste this perfect little cunt"

Just the small amount of pressure makes me buckle and I feel like I'm going to fall over. I go to pull my foot off the bed but he grabs my ankle and stops me.

"Nuh uh, honey. You're keeping your leg up for me" He warned.

"Or, I can tie you down onto the bed and have some fun with this" He pats the pocket of his jacket, referring to the oil.

My grip tightens on him.

He's hardly touched me and my body feels overwhelmed.

There's so many unfamiliar feelings swirling through me.

"Harry" I whine his name, looking at him and his sinful smirk.

"I don't play games, sweetheart. You listen to me, or you suffer the consequences" He slides his hand back up my leg, his fingers returning between my thighs.

"So sensitive, angel" He does it again, gently running his finger along me.

Instead of just once, he goes back and forth.

My leg wobbles and I try very hard to keep myself from ripping away from him.

It feels so good, I don't know how to handle it.

"Just wait until it's my tongue playing with this cute little clit" He pushes down harder and it takes all my strength to keep from falling over.

"Bet I could make you come without even taking these off"

I don't like the noises my body is making but I can't help it, I don't know how else to respond to how he's making me feel.

"Noisy little thing" He chuckles and pulls his hand away, pushing my foot off the bed and letting me plant it on the ground.

"Hm, can't get over these pretty legs" He traces his finger tips up and down the back of my thighs.

He brings his hands to my hips and hooks his fingers into my underwear.

He glances to my eyes and then begins to pull them down until they fall to my ankles.

I'm completely exposed to him now. I get nervous and close my legs tightly, trying to hide myself from him.

He stands up off the bed, suddenly much more intimidating.

"So, shy" He brings his hand to my cheek and strokes it for a moment.

"Be a good girl for me-" He taps my nose.

"Lay on the bed" He steps to the side and crosses his arms, watching me.

I listen to him and get onto the bed, laying my head on the pillows. He's still fully clothed, it feels unfair.

He stares at me for a moment before following my path and climbing onto the bed.

"Spread your legs, baby"

At the moment, they are closed tightly.

I look up at the ceiling, away from his intense eyes.

Slowly, I open them. I take a deep breath and shiver when I feel his hands on my legs.

"Such a delightful sight, angel"

I get the courage to look down at him, he's on his knees between my calfs. His hands delicately tracing my skin.

"I bet this sweet looking pussy is begging to played with" His touch is so, gentle. It's making me want more.

I can't even begin to imagine what his tongue would feel like between my legs.

I feel dirty just thinking about it.

I watch him lay down, lifting my thighs onto his shoulders.

I feel so vulnerable. I'm so nervous but I want him to touch me. My body is begging for it.

His eyes are locked on mine, his lips and teeth connecting to my thigh and making my toes curl. I don't know what to do with myself.

I shyly bring my hands down to his hair, the feeling of it soothing my nerves. I like the way his hair feels in my hands.

Without thinking, I pull on it, attempting to pull him closer between my legs.

Desperation is what I'm feeling.

He notices it right away. His eyes instantly looking up at me again.

"Is it starting to hurt, baby? Aching so bad, dripping down your thighs" I shuffle my legs, ignoring him.

I don't want him to be right. But he is, I need it.

"If you want something from me, angel-" He sinks his teeth into my flesh for a moment and then smiles.

"You've got to ask for it" He says, his face turning serious. I kick my legs in frustration, I don't want to ask him. I barely understand what's happening to me. I can't believe a demon is making me feel like this.

But in my subconscious, I'm questioning it.

Why aren't we allowed to enjoy ourselves?

Why isn't this something all creatures are allowed to experience?

He laughs at me kicking my legs, roughly gripping my thighs and stopping me from moving.

"Use your words" He kisses my thigh again, his lips going higher.

It feels like I'm on fire and the only thing that's going to cool me down is his tongue.

I don't know what to say to make him give me what I want.

"Please" I whisper, running my fingers through his hair. He smiles a bit.

"Please, what?" I get more frustrated, yanking on his hair but all it did was make him smile more. I know he's enjoying it, seeing how frustrated he can get me.

I don't want to say it out loud. I don't want to admit how badly my body is begging to be felt.

"I-I don't know what to say" I whine, trying to shuffle my legs again but he's got a tight hold on me.

"Beg me to touch you, angel, and maybe I will" He sucks lightly on my thigh.

"Or I could leave some pretty marks on your thighs" He bites down harder.

More unfamiliar sounds leave my throat, his teeth in my flesh stinging just slightly but I like it. I hate it. I hate all of the thoughts running through my head. All of them about him. His dirty words on what he wants to do with me. I don't understand it, but I want to.

"Harry, please-" I take a deep, shaky breath.

"I need you to touch me" I plead with him, hating myself for giving him the satisfaction of exactly what he wanted to hear.

"Such a good girl" He whispers, kissing even higher up my inner thigh. I watch him closely, noticing his hand letting go of my thigh and coming inbetween my legs as well.

"Is this what you want? Hm?" My whole body shudders when his fingers run along me. It's already an overwhelming sensation.

"You're so wet, baby. Smell like heaven" He breathes against my flesh and I try to move my hips closer to him. He chuckles and moves his other hand that had been holding thigh, up to my stomach and locking his arm around me tightly. Preventing me from moving.

Very much unvoluntarily, I squeal when I feel his tongue and he laughs, the sound vibrating against me.

It feels so good.

His tongue moves slowly and I try hard to kick my legs because I don't know what else to do. But his grip tightens.

"Harry" I go to pulling his hair instead, but it doesn't phase him. Every little movement of his tongue makes me moan. I can't control it. I hate it.

It truly is pleasure I've never dreamed about before.

He focuses in on the most sensitive part, my vision going blurry. I cry out, yanking on his hair with all my strength and he doesn't flinch. He continues to suck on my flesh until I'm a mess. I can't even think straight.

It's almost a relief when he pulls away for moment, but something in me wants to push him back.

"Tastes like honey, angel. Can't get enough"

This time it feels like his mouth completely engulfs me and I cry out even louder.

The pleasure, is incredible.

I've never felt this before in the millennia I've been alive.

My stomach is tightening to a point that I can't handle. It's the most intense thing I've ever felt.

I try to breath but every flick of his tongue takes my breath away.

"H-Harry" I try to pull him away, an unfamiliar knot in my stomach and all I want is relief. I can hardly breathe.

"P-Please"  I whimper, feeling like I'm going to burst. He's got such a tight hold on me, I can't move. All I can do it pull on his hair and make noise.

Which he seems to love.

His mouth and tongue make me feel like I'm floating, I can't describe it.

I don't understand it, how is he doing this?

Why does it feel so good?

"W-What is happen-" My body trembles and my thighs are shaking.

I'm struggling so much but he just holds me in place and continues to torture me with his tongue.

I close my eyes tightly, my back arching off the bed as my entire body tenses, lightly shaking as he doesn't stop his rhythmic movements.

It's so intense. The unexplainable feeling rips through me and his tongue doesn't stop. Not until my body relaxes a bit, and I'm panting. I try to catch my breath but my mind is so scattered, I can't get myself to breathe regularly.

"So fucking sweet, my little angel. Could eat this delicious cunt for days" I open my eyes, watching as he takes my thighs off his shoulders and gets onto his knees.

"Soaked the sheets, darling" He chuckles and places either hand on the top of my thighs.

I'm still trying to catch my breath, at a loss for words from the experience I just had. He rubs my thighs gently and looks down at me.

"That's what happens when you feel good, baby" He's still rubbing my thighs, helping me to calm down and relax my breathing. I attempt to close my legs a little bit, embarrassed at the mess I created on the bed.

He pins them down, pushing them further apart.

"Don't close your legs, I'm not finished" He warned, a hard grip on my thighs.

He holds down one and then brings his other hand between my legs.

I flinch when his fingers trace along my inner thigh, my body is still incredibly sensitive.

"Made you come so much, baby. Taste so good" He brushes over my nerves for just a second, making my body jolt. He smiles and brings his hand to his mouth, licking his fingers.

"I bet you're so fucking tight" His hand comes between my legs again but before he can touch me I reach down with both my hands and grab his.

He laughs at me and grabs both my wrists, he leans over me and then pins them to the bed.

"What?" He leans his face closer to me.

"Is your pussy too sensitive for me to play with?" He smirks and lifts my hands above my head, pinning them both down with just one of his.

"You think it's intense now, honey?" He uses his knee to spread my legs further apart then they already are.

"Can't wait until you feel me filling you up" He holds my hands tightly and slowly traces his fingers down my body.

His hand sneaks between my legs again and I whimper.

I groan when he pinches me lightly, a jolt of pleasure shooting into my stomach. I'm so sensitive, I hate it.

"You've got such a sensitive little clit, baby. Makes me wanna suck it until you squirt" His fingers lowers slightly and he makes little circles. I struggle in his hold, moaning more.

"Harry-" I gasp when his finger sinks into me.

"So soft" He hums. I look up at him, struggling again in his grasp. It feels really good, his finger slowly sinking into me. It's a different sensation and it amazes me. How can he make me feel like this in so many different ways?

He pulls his finger back, almost all the way before roughly pushing his finger back into me.

I groan, the pleasure coming from even deeper than when he was using his tongue.

"Does it feel good, baby?" He leans down and bites my lip.

I choke on my words when I feel him pushing a second finger into me, my toes curl in response to the pressure. My breath taken away.

"I wonder how I'm going to fit my cock in this tight little cunt, angel" I don't know what to say. His dirty words, I hated them. I hate inappropriate language of any kind but for some reason, I don't want him to stop. I like the sound of his voice.

"As much as I'd love to make you come on my fingers-" He pushes his fingers in and out of me a few more times before pulling them away.

"Wait-" I quickly bite my lip, not meaning to say anything out loud. But I liked the feeling, I didn't want him to pull away.

He smirks and brings his fingers to his lips, sucking on them.

"Don't worry, angel. Not even close to being done with you" He gets off of me and then off the bed.

I sit up and watch as he unbuttons the single button holding his suit jacket. I get up as well and crawl to the edge where he is. I get on my knees and watch him pull it off and set it on the ground. I reach out and grab his hands before he can start unbuttoning the long sleeve shirt he had on.

I pull him right up against the bed, with me on my knees we are about the same height.

Part of me just wanted to admire him. His features were perfect.

His eyes were my favorite. But only the green. I didn't like it when they'd go black.

I bring my hands to the buttons and slowly begin to undo them. His eyes are watching me closely.

I can't help but smile when I get a peak of his skin. I can already see streaks of ink.

I've seen quite a few people on Earth with beautiful designs on their skin.

I undo the last button and pull the rest of the shirt from his pants.

I pull the shirt off of him and let it fall to the floor.

Without asking, or really thinking, my hand comes to the design on his stomach. I trace it and smile even more. It resembled a butterfly and I wonder what it means to him.

Is it ties to the soul he may have had at some point?

I wish I could ask him, I could look, by holding his hand but he'd know it. He'd never let me.

I admire him for a few more moments, his body is breathtaking.

"I like these" I say softly, poking his stomach.

"Thank you, angel" It's the only genuine thing I've heard him say since we met.

The tone of his voice makes my stomach flutter.

I look down at my hands, trying to ignore his eyes when my hands reach his pants.

I bite my lip and take a deep breath.

I'm so nervous at my lack of experience. I can't imagine the amount of times he's done this.

I undo the button and bite my lip harder, unzipping them and pulling them until they also fell to the floor. He steps out of them, still allowing me to take my time. Which I'm grateful for.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

My fingers trace along the edge of the final peice of clothing on him. I also trace my fingers over the designs he has on his hips.

I think any form of art is beautiful. Some angels might disagree, but I do truly love art. And the ink humans put onto their skin, is an art form for them. I think that's amazing.

"Curious little thing" I glance up at him, my face heating up. I can't help it, I've never been this close to anyone.

"Sorry" I whisper, looking down at my hands again. I take a deep breath, copying what he had done to me earlier. I hook my fingers into his underwear and begin to pull them down. I pull them down as far as I can reach in my position. He steps out of them and I quickly look up at his face. He smirks, noticing I avoid looking between his legs.

He brings his hand up my back and slides his hand into my hair.

"Give me your hand" He said, not giving me much time to respond. Instead, he reached out with his free hand and grabbed mine.

My face goes even more red when he wraps my hand around him. It's hard. I can't bring myself to look, I'm so nervous.

"Look what you do to me, angel" He grips my hair and makes me look down. His hand is still on mine, guiding it along his length. I can feel it get even harder as I touch him.

He keeps his hand on mine for just a few more seconds, before pulling it away.

"Just like that, pretty girl" I bite my lip and continue to move my hand in the motion he showed me.

"Do you know why it's hard like that, angel?" I shake my head, unable to move my eyes now. I feel like I'm in a trance.

"All because of you" He pulls my head back so I'll look at him.

"You like stroking my cock, baby?" He smirks.

"Hm, I bet this little angel would be a perfect little cum slut. So obedient" I squeeze my hand around the tip, just a little bit of liquid oozing from it.

"How about, you do me a favour, sweetheart-" He backed up a little, roughly pulling me with him and off the bed. I fall onto the ground in front of him on my knees.

"Hm, the thought of fucking your throat just makes me even harder, angel" I look up at him, the look in his eye is wicked.

"But I want to fuck you, more than I want to do anything else. So, be a good girl for me and use this sweet looking mouth to coat my cock" He smiles down at me.

"I-I don't know what to do" I say shyly, bringing my hand to wrap around him again.

So many emotions are running through me.

"Spit on it" He instructs, pulling my face closer. I grip my hand tighter around him and push myself up higher on my knees. I glance up at him, his eyes not blinking for even a moment.

I look back down, trying to block out the fear. I don't want to mess it up. I want him to feel like I did. But I don't even know if I have the capability to do it.

I collect saliva into my mouth and then listen to his instruction, spitting on him.

"Now-" Before he tells me what to do, I use my hand to spread as much of it as I can down his length.

I've seen a world of art, with naked figures from the past. I never recognized it in a sexual way, but Harry's size is much larger than a lot of the art I've seen.

It makes my stomach flutter, wondering how this is possibly going to fit inside of me.

"You're such a good girl, angel" His tone is soft and it makes my body heat up. I like his praises. He moves his hand from my hair and brings it to my cheek, brushing it gently with his finger tips.

"Open your mouth for me" He says, his fingers touching my lips.

I listen to him and open my mouth. He places his hand on top of mine and guides himself towards my lips.

I lean forward, taking in whatever I can. It's not much, almost right away I choke.

He chuckles a little bit and I meet his gaze.

"Taking a lot in me not to shove my cock as far down your throat as I can get it" The look in his eye darkens slightly.

He pushes me, but not too much, but I choke and pull myself off of him. Saliva already dripping from my mouth.

"Hm, that's enough for now. Just wanted to get a little taste" He reaches down and grabs me, lifting me to my feet.

He pushes me onto the bed, my legs hanging over the edge.

"So many fucking things I want to do to this pretty body, angel" He places his hands on my thighs and shoves them apart before sliding them underneath my thighs and lifting them from the bed.

I wiggle around, realizing I have no control over this position. My bottom half is completely lifted from the bed.

He pulls me closer to the edge and I watch as he holds me up with one hand and the other wraps around his phallus.

My stomach tightens when his tip brushes against me.

"Tell me, angel. I want to hear you say how bad you want me to bury my cock inside of you" He looks down at me, his face is serious.

"I want it, Harry" I whisper, trying to move my hips closer. His serious expression turns into a smirk.

"Ask me to fuck you, baby" He says, watching as I struggle to try and pull him closer.

"But-" He cuts me off and digs his nails harshly into my skin.

"Do you want me to fuck you?" He asked, I look at him and nod shyly.

"Then say it" He snaps.

I've never used crude language, ever and my brain still can't understand why my body responds in pleasure to Harry's filthy words.

But I wanted him, something deep inside of me is craving to know what it's going to feel like.

"H-Harry, I-I want you to-" My face burns as I get flustered, trying to get the words out.

"I-I want you to fuck me" I'm almost in disbelief that I say it out loud. But Harry's devilish smirk grows wider.

"Such a good little angel" He hums quietly and then pushes against me.

I watch as he fixes his gaze directly into my eyes and slowly guides himself into me.

I can't describe it, how it feels. It's extremely intense.

But the way he pushes through my flesh is already making my vision go blurry.

I try to tighten my legs around him, so I can pull him closer. He stops me, roughly gripping both of my thighs.

Hes made sure he's in control.

"So soft, angel. Is this what heaven feels like?" I groan when he pulls almost out of me and then roughly drives into me while pulling me towards him at the same time.

I close my eyes, my hands holding the blanket underneath me tightly.

"Fuck" He breathes, quickly finding a pace that's making my eyes roll back. The pressure is unbelievably pleasureful. I don't know what to do with myself, I can't do anything. He has all of the power.

Every thrust of his hips gets harder and harder.

"Harry" I cry out his name, struggling in his hold. It feels so good.

Every moral I've held dear to me, is gone.

I'm finally able to catch my breath when he drops me back onto the bed, pulling out of me.

Every breath I take is shaky, my hands in fists as I try to calm myself.

"Sounds like someone enjoys getting fucked" I open my eyes and he's already starring at me.

"Hm, princess? Do like getting fucked?" I attempt to take a deep breath. I bite my lip and nod.

"Get up on the bed more" He instructs. I take another breath and then listen to him, pushing myself back onto the bed.

He followed me, grabbing me and without any effort, flips me onto my stomach.

"Now stick that pretty ass up for me, angel" Before I can respond, he grabs my hips and lifts me onto my knees. He pushes them apart, and his hands slide up my thighs until his fingers reached sensitive flesh.

My knees go weak when he rubs back and forth, I bury my face into the pillows on the bed. I grab ahold of one and hold onto it tightly.

"Harry!" I cry out his name when he pushes into me again without any warning.

"Yeah, angel? Does it feel good?" I whimper in response to him.

"Hm? I want an answer" He holds my hips tightly, thrusting into me at an overwhelming pace. I can barely breathe, let alone speak. He seemed to be getting even further inside me with this position.

I cry out when he slaps my butt, obviously getting impatient with my lack of words.

"I-It feels really good" I try to say it loud enough so he can hear me but I can't speak. My senses are completely over taken by pleasure.

"That's all I want to hear, angel. Those sweet little cries of pleasure" He slaps me again, but a bit lighter this time. It stings, but every part of it just adds to the knot forming in my stomach.

I'm a mess, if Harry wasn't holding my hips, I wouldn't be able to keep myself up.

I never understood humans who were driven by sex. Like it's a need. I never could have imagined that it would feel like this.

I feel Harry's fingers coming into my hair. He wraps it around his hand and then harshly yanks me up. I groan, feeling incredibly weak.

"Never would have thought an angel would be such a slut for cock" He wrapped his arm around my stomach and pulled my head back against his shoulder.

His thrusting decreases dramatically, but he's so deep inside of me and every little movement he makes sends pleasure through to my toes.

If he gets any deeper I feel like I might burst like a balloon.

He gently bites down against my shoulder, sucking on my skin while his hand that had been wrapped around my stomach, starts to lower.

I whine, knowing exactly what he's about to do and with both hands I grab his arm. I'm so sensitive, if he touches me, I definitely will burst from everything I'm feeling.

"Harry" I beg, trying to pull his hand away but he doesn't budge.

"You can handle it, angel" He whispers in my ear, his fingers once again touching me. But with him buried in me, the pleasure is immense.

"Harry, I-I can't" I whimper more, my nails clawing at his arm to try and pull him away.

I already feel so weak, I don't know how much more my body can take.

He ignored my weak little crys and moved his fingers in quick circles.

The knot in my stomach is so much tighter than when he used his tongue on me.

He rocked me against him and with that bit of movement, I can feel my body tensing.

"Nuh, uh, baby. You aren't coming yet" He pushed me off of him, pulling his hand away and out of me. I fall onto the bed and before I can do anything, he grabs me and turns me over.

He pushes my legs apart and gets on top of me.

He places a hand next to my head to hold himself up. Shyly, I reach my hands out to his face. I touch his cheeks for a moment before sliding my hands to his shoulders. He's so broad. I get distracted by the birds on his chest, tracing them each individually. I can't help but smile, they are very nice.

I glance up at him and bite my lip.

"Sorry, I just like these a lot" I whisper. He lifts my leg up against his hip and then leans down close to me. It's something I realize that I really like doing. I like kissing him.

I lift my other leg up against him, my hands coming back to hair and pulling him closer to me, connecting our lips.

He pulled back after a moment and with his free hand, brought it down my chest.

I jump a little when a shock of pleasure runs through me, his fingers lightly pulling on my nipple. He lowers his hand down and I watch as he wraps his hand around himself. He strokes along his length and then rubs the tip against me.

"Can't wait to fill with my cum, angel" He drives into me hard, my back arching from the bed at the feeling. My nails digging into the back of his neck.

Out of the positions he's had me in, I liked this one the best. He's warm.

He isn't gentle, but I enjoyed our closeness.

"Such a pretty little angel, now my own little slut" He whispered, leaning close to me again and brushing my lips. He doesn't kiss me, instead he moves his lips down my jaw.

I pull on his hair, moaning. I look between our bodies, watching as he pulls out just to plunge back into me.

I gently pull his hair again, guiding his lips back up to mine. I wanted to taste them again. I hold onto his cheeks, both of our moans being muffled by our kiss.

It's much messier, our tongues swirling together and making the pleasure even stronger. I hold him against my lips, refusing to let him pull them away from me.

He let's me do it for just a little longer before roughly grabbing my arms and pinning them to the bed.

He bites my lip before moving to my neck again.

He begins to quicken his pace again, sending me down a spiral of pleasure I could never imagine. Every second of it is...bliss.

I don't have to think, I just take in every feeling of it and it's incredible.

"You feel that, angel? Those little walls of your clenching against my cock?" He groans against my neck, teeth sinking into my neck.

He sucks on my skin again, before moving his lips up to my ear.

"Softest cunt I've ever fucked" He whispers before pushing himself up onto his knees and grabbing my hips.

My mind goes numb when he drives into me harder than he has all night. I'm crying in pleasure, my hands grabbing at his hands again.

It's so extreme, pleasure consuming every fibre of my being.

"Harry" I moan, the familiar feeling of my body tensing up.

"Is this sweet little angel about to come all over my cock?" His thrusts become more sloppy, but my mind is somewhere else.

I've never felt like this before.

It's pure bliss and I can't comprehend it.

It rips through me like tidal waves and I cry out his name repetitively as it washes over me.

"Fuck, fuck, angel" He swears under his breath, pushing himself as deep into me as he could possibly get and holding my hips tight. He doesn't pull out this time, he stops his thrusts suddenly.

I feel the release, my body still tightening around him.

"Sweet little pussy is taking every last drop from me, angel" He takes a breath, looking down at me before finally pulling out.

_____

My mind is still reeling. Trying to comprehend everything that just happened.

I watch as Harry buttons up his shirt slowly.

What's going to happen now?

I pull on my dress, reaching behind me and pulling up the zipper.

It doesn't feel real and suddenly, I feel so unclean.

Why did I do this? How could I do this?

How could I betray everything I know?

It scares me even more because I enjoyed it.

I glance at Harry, watching as he pulled on his jacket.

He hasn't said anything. Just looking at me every once in a while as he got dressed.

I didn't know what to make of him and I hate myself for even thinking about the chance of this happening with him again.

"What's going to happen now?" I ask softly.

"What now?" Suddenly, he's mocking me.

I watch in fear as the green in his eyes quickly disappears into black.

"Oh, darling" He shakes his head, laughing at me.

"You really are, so naive" I back away from him, fear filling my stomach. What's happening?

"You thought you could trust me? A demon?" He steps towards me, an evil smile on his face.

"Did you truly think you were anything but a toy for me to play with?" He follows my footsteps, but I'm stopped by the wall.

"God, it was so easy manipulating you" He scoffed, standing right in front of me.

I try to will myself away but nothing happens and he chuckles even more.

His eyes seem even darker than before.

I'm so confused, I tear up, looking at him. But his expression is unphased.

He pulls the blade from his jacket and points it at me.

"I'm just doing my job, sweetheart" He reaches down and roughly grabs my left hand and turns it face up.

"No, please don't" I cry, tears falling down my cheeks.

I'm trying to will up any power I can, but it's blocked and I don't know how.

"So stupid, I never needed you to get the boy" He snaps.

He brings the blade to my palm and traces it. I fight him, as hard as I can. I know what he's doing.

Only angels know of this curse.

I've only heard whispers of it, whispers of some of the punishments angels face when they stray.

It's knowledge a demon shouldn't have.

I do everything I can, but his strength is no match.

I cry out in pain as he carves into my hand and then, everything goes dark.

[cat3ch1sm]

i am single-handedly running the L agenda (jkjk)

with that being said lemme scoot in here and request something that actually came to me in a dream (giving prophecy). this is literally the second time it has happened to me

i just love the idea of the task force continuously embarrassing themselves in front of snarky girlfriend. like these are grown men with many years of investigation under their belt and they get destroyed by someone in their young 20s lyke

that’s how specific the dream was for me. literally no more details 😔

but i trust you bestie.

also so i don’t spam your inbox i am also requesting on the side a lil f*ngering moment if you will. L’s fingers in the manga really speak to me on a personal level 😏

hello, my favorite follower<33 missed u in my inbox. reporting for duty to carry out the L agenda 🫡

for this writing, i pulled that one l, light, and misa date from the anime and put my own spin on it- featuring Y/N as well. i tried my best to directly quote the anime, idk how well i did tho😭 but it’s the same idea, basically. hope you enjoy💚

ೄྀ࿐ fem!reader, nsfw ahead, f!ngering, light and l fight😭ˊˎ-

It was clear that the day was going to be weird when Aizawa, a respectable and work-oriented member of the task force, came into the headquarters with no pants on. Just white boxers decorated with red polka-dots.

Soichiro glanced absently in Aizawa’s direction upon hearing him come in, then did a double take, expression questioning. “Uh… Aizawa… did something happen?”

Matsuda had the same reaction as Soichiro. “Uh- where’d your pants go?”

Pants and belt slung around his arm, Aizawa trudged towards the other two men, looking exasperated. “Stupid security system wouldn’t let me in. In my opinion, Ryuzaki’s gone a little overboard with the security measures.”

“I’m fairly certain we’re past the point of overboard- this is the Kira investigation, after all,” Soichiro pointed out:

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Aizawa admitted, stopping in his tracks to hurriedly put his pants and belt back on before sitting in a chair between the two men. He searched around the room curiously, noticing an absent presence. “Hey- where’d Ryuzaki and everyone else go?”

Matsuda gestured to the screen displayed in front of them. “Oh- Ryuzaki, Misa-Misa, Light, and Y/N are on a date upstairs.”

Aizawa let out a groan. “For God’s sake, Matsuda, will you stop it with this Misa-Misa crap?”

Matsuda offered a sheepish grin. “Ah- yeah, sure.”

“Man… this has got to be the lamest date I’ve ever been on,” Misa groaned beside you, arm propped up on the back of the sofa and her head resting in the palm of her hand.

“Oh, don’t mind us,” L offered, twirling a fork around in his mouth. “Just act like we’re not even here.”

Misa frowned, crossing her arms. “This could have been a cute double date- with me and Light and you and Y/N- even if you guys are super stalker-y. But Light’s sitting over there with L handcuffed to him while I’m stuck over here with Y/N. It’s like this totally fucked-up double date where L is dating Light and I’m with Y/N.” Misa glared at you, and it took everything in you to keep your expression stoic in return. “By the way, I don’t swing that way, so, like, if that’s what you were thinking-“

“Misa, shut up,” you cut her off harshly, gaze as stony as ever. Then you addressed both Misa and Light. “Listen, we get you’re uncomfortable, but you both understand the circumstances we’re in right now,” you told Misa sternly, also sending a look in Light’s direction. “This is only necessary.”

“Yeah, Misa, it’s probably best we not protest it,” Light agreed, gesturing towards you. “Obviously, we both know we aren’t Kira, but given the evidence, it’ll be difficult to change L’s mind about that fact.”

“Ugh, do we have to talk about that boring crap? Light, all we ever do is talk about Kira, Kira, Kira. Why can’t we talk about normal boyfriend and girlfriend stuff?” Misa whined petulantly, and despite the fact that this “date” had just started, you already found yourself wanting to absolutely deck Amane.

“Well, if you haven’t noticed, that’s all there is to talk about,” Light countered, sounding a little agitated. “Neither of us go to school anymore, and I’m very literally handcuffed to L.” He lifted his hand to indicate the chains around his wrist, raising an absent L’s hand in the air as well.

L was obviously thinking about other things, his dark eyes fixated on the slice of cake, adorned with a small red strawberry, sitting on the coffee table. “Are you going to eat that cake, Amane?” L inquired, pointing at the slice with his fork.

Misa glanced at the pastry disdainfully before rolling her eyes to the ceiling again. “No. Cake makes you fat. I’m not gonna eat it.”

“Well, I find that you don’t gain any weight as long as you burn it off with brainpower.”

Misa bristled. “Huh? So now you call me stupid?”

L shrugged and started to reach for the plate, but then a light appeared in Misa’s eyes and she leaned over and snatched the plate last minute. “Hold on. You can have the cake if you-“ Misa glared at you from the corner of her eye- “and Y/N promise to leave me and Light alone.”

“Yeah, right,” you scoffed, folding your arms across your chest. “Even if we did do that, we’d still be watching on surveillance cameras.”

Misa whirled around to face you, cheeks red with fury and pink lips in a pout. “Well- then we’ll turn all the lights off and get under the bed covers! Right, Light?”

Light made a face. “Misa…”

“Infrared cameras exist, you know,” L replied vacantly, still focused on the cake.

Misa recoiled, sticking her tongue out as if she was a toddler. “Ewwww! You pervert! Will you just stop it with your creepy hobby?”

“You can call me whatever you like. Last chance for cake,” L announced, standing up and scooping the plate off of the table. Misa hmphed and turned her nose up.

There was silence for a little while- Misa fuming while L started on his cake, you and Light simply silent. But then Light spoke up, turning to look at L with a confused expression on his face.

“What’s wrong with you?” Light queried, tone a little bit accusing and making your focus shift to him instantly. “I thought moving here was supposed to help us to catch Kira. But since we’ve been here, you don’t seem all that motivated to me.”

L paused for a moment, swallowing a bite of cake and setting his fork down. “Hm. Not motivated…” He trailed off, in thought, before facing Light and replying, “You’re right- actually, I’m depressed.”

You almost flinched. With your status as L’s partner, you’d obviously noticed the shift in L’s overall mood, and you two had already had a very similar conversation to the one you believed L and Light were about to have. However- you knew for a fact that Light was bound to react a lot worse than you did.

Light, meanwhile, pressed on. “Depressed? What for?”

L dragged the fork along his teeth before glancing up at the ceiling and answering. “Well, he began dubiously, “briefly all this time I thought you were Kira, and my entire case hinged on that fact.” He sighed. “I guess I just can’t get pass the fact that my deduction was wrong. Although having said that, I’m still suspicious of you. That’s why we’re wearing these.” L lifted his arm that was attached to Light’s, making the handcuffs jingle. “And we also know that Kira can control people’s actions. Which means… it’s highly likely that Kira was controlling your actions so that I would suspect you. If I assume both you and Misa were being controlled by him, then everything we’ve observed so far makes a lot more sense to me.”

“So… if what you’re thinking is correct, that means Misa and I were Kira at one point, right?”

L glanced at Light sideways. “Yes. I don’t think we could have been wrong about that. The two of you are Kira.”

Both Light and Misa frowned, Misa pouting in a stubborn expression, but much to your relief, remaining silent.

L continued his monologue, although you could tell he was talking more to himself than to Light at this point. “If what I was thinking was correct, when your confinement began you were Kira. I don’t believe it’s coincidence that as soon as you were imprisoned, all the killings stopped. Until then, everything pointed to you being Kira. But after two weeks… criminals actually began dying again. Based on that evidence, I can only conclude that Kira’s power passes between people.”

Light’s expression softened, and he nodded thoughtfully. “That’s an interesting idea. But if it’s true,” he noted with a frown, “it’ll be nearly impossible for us to catch Kira.”

L nodded as well, staring straight ahead. “Yes. That’s why I’m overwhelmed. Even if we catch someone under his control, they are likely to lose their powers and any memory of their crimes. So in the end, pursuing them becomes futile.”

Light was quiet for a little bit. “But… at this point we have no way of knowing if that’s the case,” he offered halfheartedly. “So cheer up, would you?”

L? Cheer up? You almost couldn’t stifle your laugh.

L seemed surprised by this for a second, but shook his head slowly. “Cheer up? No. I’m sorry, I can’t. It’s probably better if I just stop trying so hard. By chasing Kira so desperately, we’re just putting our lives at risk for nothing.” Again, he twirled the fork around in his mouth, gaze directed at his feet. “Yes…it’s just a waste of time.”

There was more silence- but this time, you felt how tense it was rather than thoughtful, and you suddenly felt a little uneasy.

Then, Light: “Ryuzaki…”

“Hm?”

Your head snapped towards Light a split second too late. The next thing you heard was the sound of Light’s fist meeting L’s face- hard, and suddenly the two of them were flying- L backward and Light forward, unwillingly pulled along by the handcuffs that joined the two. Ryuzaki knocked into the table just before hitting the ground, and it flipped over, sending L’s unfinished slice of cake to the floor.

You and Misa both got to your feet abruptly, and you could hear Misa’s whimpers of disgust as she accidentally stepped in the smushed cake. Misa, however, was far from your concerns. “What the hell?” you demanded, eyes furiously darting from L on the ground to Light, bent over and breathing hard. “Light, what do you think you’re doing?!”

Light whirled around to face you. “What? You can’t tell me you wouldn’t do the same thing!” Then he turned back to glare daggers at L, whose eyes were wide with surprise and his hand cradling his cheek where Light had punched him. “That’s enough! You don’t feel like doing anything just because your genius deduction was wrong and I’m not Kira?!”

L stared up at Light, the look in his eyes unreadable. “Hm… perhaps I phrased that the wrong way. I meant that it would be pointless for us to make a move, so why even bother…”

Your face twisted with annoyance. Good grief. Couldn’t L see he was just adding fuel to the fire? Half the time you didn’t know if he was genuinely unaware of his actions or just doing it on purpose.

“Man, I didn’t think this date could possibly get any worse…” Misa whined from behind you, now wearing one sock because of the cakey mess on the other one.

“Misa, be quiet, for Christ’s sake,” you snapped, and Misa recoiled before eventually shutting up, plopping herself down on the couch and putting on a petulant pout. “You two- stop being ridiculous and get off the floor. Can’t you see this isn’t helping anything?”

L peered at you from behind Light’s angry form. “You know, Y/N is really right…”

“Don’t change the subject,” Light snapped. “If we don’t chase Kira, he’ll never be caught. Is that what you want? If you’re just gonna give up, then why did you involve all those innocent people? More importantly, what was the point of putting Misa and me behind bars?”

L mulled over this for a moment. “I understand. But still, whatever the reason…”

You knew exactly what was coming next when L slowly climbed off the ground, a dark twinkle in his eye. And he struck Light back, fist buried in his eye and eliciting a pained grunt from the student.

“An eye for an eye, my friend.”

Again, the two men flew- but now it was Light’s turn to fly backward and L forward, the handcuffs holding fast. They both hit the floor with a massive thud, and you knew without a doubt that the task force downstairs could hear you all now.

Why aren’t those idiots doing anything?

Misa let out another dismayed cry, and you finally decided you had to intervene. Before either one of them could land another blow, you got in between the two, preventing them from reaching each other.

“Are you both insane?” you snarled, giving both of them equally vaporizing glares. “What the hell are you fighting like some schoolyard children for? Can’t you see how idiotic the both of you look? Blindly swinging instead of effectively talking about this?”

The pair paused, seemingly taking your words into account, but stares still fixed intently on each other, and you knew they both were aching to swing again.

Finally, L spoke up, but it was directed at Light. “It’s not my deduction that was wrong,” he panted, eyes burning into Light’s. “The fact is, I can say that Light Yagami is Kira and Misa Amane is the second Kira. But it won’t be enough to solve the case. And that’s why I’m a little depressed. Is that so unreasonable?”

Light wasted no time retorting, “Yes. Yes, it is. Besides, you said it yourself. It is as if you won’t be satisfied unless I am Kira.”

L considered this, briefly averting his gaze from him. “Hmm…I won’t be satisfied unless you’re Kira.” Another lapse into silence. “Well… there may be some truth to that. In fact, now that you mention it… you’re right.” Now L’s stare were more piercing than ever. “I think I wanted you to be Kira.”

Before you could even blink, Light’s fist had slammed into L’s eye, but the detective seemed unfazed this time.

“As I said before, an eye for an eye,” he rasped. “I’m a lot stronger than I look, you know.” And he raised his fist to return the blow.

But now you’d had enough of watching these two grown men brawling like middle school kids. They’d ignored your previous words and warnings, but they would soon learn that that was a mistake.

So, as the two went flying into the wall yet again, you darted in between them at a speed you didn’t realize you were capable of, took hold of the handcuff chain, and just when Light moved to hit L again, you yanked as hard as you could on the cold metal chain. The combined force of your hand and the growing strain on the chain from Light and L jerking it around made it snap right in two, sending the detective and scholar positively soaring in opposite directions. Misa let out a shriek and rushed to Light’s side as he slammed into the floor with a very painful-sounding thump, but you didn’t move to help L when he barreled into the wall for what had to be the fifth time in the past ten minutes.

When the chaos finally settled, both men were still on the ground, wincing from their collective injuries and struggling to get up. One of the legs on the table that Light had rammed into was actually beginning to splinter, and the cake L had dropped earlier had made a big mess on the carpet what with Misa stepping on it and trailing it across the carpet. The wall L was flopped over against had a gaping hole where L’s head had hit, the cracks spreading from behind L’s hair like some twisted spider. And finally, there was you, standing exactly where you’d been standing with the severed chain dangling from your closed hand, staring at the metal like you yourself couldn’t believe what had just happened.

It was totally silent for at least five minutes straight. Nobody moved, taking in all that had just occurred and the damage in the room. But the awestruck silence was disrupted when the phone, which had slid off of the table near the spot where L was sprawled out now, rang.

At first, nobody moved to answer it. But when it kept ringing, L at last picked it up, holding it between his index finger and thumb like always.

“Hello?”

The voice from the phone was unclear from where you were, but you could tell it was Matsuda.

“Ryuzaki, I’ve got great news!” he chirped, his overly enthusiastic voice making you cringe slightly. “Misa-misa’s number one in “Eighteen" magazine’s reader popularity poll!”

Matsuda was usually too invested in totally useless things at totally inappropriate times, but this time you could see right through him. He’d heard the chaos going on upstairs and had wanted to try and de-escalate the situation, so here he was with this stupid stuff.

To yourself, you muttered, “Jesus Christ.”

L blinked at you and then blinked at the phone. “Ah. I see.”

“And get this- she’s gonna get a lead role in Nishinaka’s next movie!”

Light’s head popped over the toppled table, face bruised. “What was that?”

L promptly dropped the phone to the ground . “Matsuda’s acting stupid again.”

Light chuckled dryly. “Well… that is his specialty.”

Yet another moment of silence. Then, a tiny voice from the phone L hadn’t hung up properly: “I can hear you, you know.”

It had been several hours since the earlier incident, everyone from the task force having gone home and Misa sleeping in her hotel room. You and L were the only ones still awake, perched beside each other on the desk in front of the monitors; the normally bustling center of operations was now quiet and dark. Since you’d broken the handcuffs earlier and L had yet to replace them, you got to be alone with him for the first time in a while.

“You know,” L spoke up, breaking the calm silence, “I wasn’t expecting you to jump into me and Light’s brawl like that earlier.”

You gave L a look. “How could I not? You were both embarrassing yourselves. That was completely senseless behavior. I wasn’t expecting you to indulge Light’s impulsivity.”

L cocked his head at you a little questioningly. “You sound pretty ticked off.”

You blinked, realizing that he was right, and let out a long exhale. When you spoke again, your tone was softer, but your words were still harsh. “Being around Misa all day irritates me, anyway. You both acting like idiots didn’t really help my mood. And now we’ve got a busted-up hotel room with a hole in the wall and the broken table.”

L considered this, then nodded slowly. “Yes. That hurt, by the way.”

You let out a wry chuckle. “I bet.”

Neither of you spoke again for a little while- but you still felt L place his hand on your thigh.

“What are you doing?”

L’s eyes lifted to meet yours. “I figured you’d want to unwind a little. Is that alright?”

You paused for a moment. “Yes,” you replied airily, squirming just a little bit with your legs swinging from the table.

Nodding to himself, L moved his hand up your thigh, opting not to indulge in foreplay and teasing. Brazenly, he flipped up the lacy hem of the slip you’d put on to go to bed, and you felt a shiver go down your spine when his hand made direct contact with your skin. Carefully, he reached for your panties and tugged them out of his way before dipping two slender fingers in your rapidly dampening entrance, making your back arch slightly.

You bit your lower lip to stifle any sounds lest you two alert Watari, making the only audible noise in the room the wet sounds of L gently moving his fingers back and forth, slightly curled and brushing against your sweet spot. Despite your efforts to silence yourself, as he slowly picked up the pace and you neared your climax, a few breathy moans escaped your lips anyway, and you could feel the familiar heat building in your lower body and spreading across your face.

You allowed yourself a broken gasp when you came, a small amount of thin, sticky liquid flooding from your dripping hole and coating L’s fingers. His fingers slowed inside you, helping you make the most of your orgasm, and when you’d finally come down from your high he gingerly withdrew his fingers and watched the wetness pool beneath your slip and dampen your underwear. Then he promptly popped his index and middle fingers into his mouth, his tongue swirling around them and licking your taste from his skin.

After a minute or two L turned to look at you again. “Well, you look like you feel better.”

You instinctively dropped your eyes, uselessly fighting the color spreading across your cheeks. “I guess I do…”

L’s eyes were wide as he stared at you, his expression betraying nothing. “No matter how many times we do this, you’re always so flustered after you finish…”

You groaned and dropped your face into your hands, and L laughed.

[ritz-writes]

@asleepyy so sorry for tagging u twice in one day and i hope im not bothering u with my brain rot 😅

but yes, i did actually dissect the lyrics. yes, i am actually insane. and yes, i love this au quite a lot.

here are my notes and what i think each song represents, tho its mainly just the vibes i get. i made notes as i listened to them (note: i see songs almost always in animatic form. idk if that will effect how i imagine what each song means, but i thought it might be worth mentioning)

join me as i lose my mind over the course of an hour and a half

say what you think: def making me think of them both in heaven and jophiel wanting to ask questions.

running up that hill: AHH this one hurt. very obvious as well. jophiel seeing that azazel shouldnt be a demon. "And if I only could I'd make a deal with God, and I'd get Him to swap our places." i am sobbingggg

what difference does it make?: at first i was going to say its jophiel wanting to figure out what went wrong but azazel makes them promise not to, but i think its better suited for azazel understanding hes a demon, but he cant help but still have faith in the almighty

please please please let me get what i want: fuckkk is this about azazel being a demon but still wanting to do good 😭 short but still painful

ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn't've): my first reaction to the title alone was like the second image of the kambucha girl meme. anyway i think this one is about them becoming friends (or more?? 👀) but knowing its seen as wrong. "And if I start a commotion, I run the risk of losing you and that's worse" makes me also think of jophiel talking to the metatron and realizing he shouldnt ask about azazel lest he risk the poor thing being smited.

nothing critical: ohhhh this one gives hella vibes of jophiel not trusting heaven and knowing "something isnt right here" in regards to the fall-- HOLD UP "I know, someone had to go, If not him it'd be me instead" HELLO??? aziraphale asking for jophiel??? is this like after he finds out what azazels name used to be??

flowers never bend with the rainfall: hmm... i feel like this is a plot point song. not sure why. but "And I hide behind the shield of my illusion" makes me think it pertains to azazel

bird in space: oh this ones a bit tricky. i think ive reached the songs that no longer fit the lore we've been given thus far. so the only thing i can think rn is jophiel enjoying earthly pleasures? not rlly sure

angel, won't you call me?: oh fuckkk is this about a fight they have? "I fled at the face of my rival. When I felt his breath at the back of my neck. Angel, won't you call?" theres no way that isnt about azazel saying smth and then leaving, only to be scared he severed his tie to the only person thats been nice to him.

the stranger: first of this is a bop and im loving it. very groovy. the first thing that comes to mind is the "choose your faces wisely" prophecy. ooo is this about jophiel trying to convince azazel hes still meant to be an angel? that he wasnt meant to fall? also, the last verse is sticking out to me... not sure why

all i think about now: fuckkkkk this is giving me the vibes of jophiel finding out azazel Fell cuz of him and feeling guilty about it. "If I'm late, can I thank you now?" FUCKING OW?? oh yeah for sure this is about jophiel finding out and being sucker punched with guilt

ill be your mirror: oh goddd this song. i know crowley listens to this song but i cant remember what its about so lets see. AH SHIT YEAH THATS RIGHT. okay so jophiel reminds azazel that he is inherently good, regardless of if hes a demon. thats what im getting from this (also just tihnking of that ask i sent about the reflective sunglasses bthwjegkrw)

me and my husband: okay all im getting from this is "they r down bad". they r very very very much in love. getting vibes of this being after they stop the apocolypse. or maybe their feelings developing thru the centuries

time in a bottle: oh man this song always gets me. okay so, this and the last song r giving the oh-shit-i-might-be-in-love vibes. but this one is with jophiel's pov, while me and my husband is azazel's

ritz note: the last couple songs have been cute and lovey and i am now terrified of what the next ones r gonna be. cuz i know this fandom. and i am not ready for the pain. i am afraidddd

lonesome town: i fucking called it i knew the happy wouldnt last 😭😭 they had a fight didnt they. yeahhh they had a fight. FUCK why is this so sad but so pretty

across the universe: is this one sad too??? hang on theres a bit thats not in english, what does that mean... "Hail to the Heavenly Teacher." okay so i assume this is an azazel song. this is just making me think of the bookshop fire, but its azazel thinking jophiel died 😭 ....i am staring at the lyircs. i am glaring at the lyrics. this song MEANS something. i just dont know what. but its important. im squinting at it very hard (note: i came back to this song and am STILL glaring at it. its like. its like im seeing it covered in sand but i know theres gold underneath. i cant SEE the gold, but i know its there. this is driving me nuts /pos)

no wonder i: hm.. im not rlly sure with this one. OH?? is this azazel finding out heaven isnt that good?? "Suddenly I'm not so sure. That intentions can be pure." hmmmmmmm

what do they know?: holy shit okay this is a completely different kind of song than the others. im.... glaring at these lyrics too. feels like a plot point but cant tell what it is. i think its about jophiel? maybe heaven too?? idk im grasping at straws with this one

sea of love: oh yay a happy song again 😌 okay this is just short and sweet. gives me forgiveness and/or confession vibes.

who are you, really?: this one sounds important and i am glaring!! makes me think of "we dont need heaven we dont need hell" and also "a demon/angel that goes along with hell/heaven as far as he can". also just makes me think of jophiel speaking.

the moon will sing: i fucking love this song but i dont think ive ever looked at the lyrics so lets goooo. right away i see "I could have been anyone, anyone else. Before you made the choice for me" and think of aziraphale asking and falling for jophiel, and in a way making the choice of jophiel staying an angel. "Instead, I made a bed with apathy" jophiel trying not to care about a random demon. "I shine only with the light you gave me" jophiel giving azazel ideas on how to do "good" while being "bad". also with that line, thinking of azazel saying that to god and being sad about having fallen AUGHH i have a whole animatic in my head with this song and im losing my mind

matephor: hnnnn another important sounding song. jophiel vibes. fight song perhaps?? "Don't look too hard 'cause you won't like the scars he left in me" azazel vibes??? this one is elusive to me but i love it. okay im slowly getting more azazel vibes. like azazel trying to convince jophiel that he is a demon and fell for a reason

providence: right away getting "heaven and hell r bad" vibes. OHH okay okay this is giving me hella jophiel vibes, but specificly snarky and sassy jophiel vibes. of being like "oh yes heaven is oh so great, we kill children! but its for the greater good, of course. gotta beat hell and all that, even at the cost of innocents. all for the almighty and her ineffable plan." (this song is a bop omg)

earth angel: oh i know this one but only with crowley and aziraphale, so im excited to listen to it with an oopsie omens mind set. omg wait why does it hit HARDER. love sick azazel is such a cute image 🥺🥰

what more can i do: hmm.. them being in love but knowing its "forbidden"? cant tell who i imagine with it more

starman: this is just them. classic good omens song, regardless of the au. love to see it 💖

a pearl: AH FUCK ANOTHER SAD ONE. mitski whyy. hm.. azazel song? jophiel?? i think jophiel... tho my mind might be turning to mush at this point so im not sure. one of them is sad

duvet: oh def azazel vibes. oh maybe some jophiel vibes too?? i can see it swaping povs. i think it fits azazel more tho.

ritz note: OKAY the next song is in a different language and for a split second i legit thought i was having a stroke when i pulled up the lyrics ngl bgkewrrkjq

différent de toi: no idea what this song is about but its pretty 😊

oh thats all of them! i think the first half is more coherent observations, while the second half is just... rambling a bit lmao. idk if any of this makes sense. i might also be looking for things that arent there with these songs, but oh well. this was fun!

and now, after looking back at them all, i really does just slowly derail near the end lmao

[bonezone44]

Muddy Waters, pt 4. (18+)

'Punching Bags'

Ezra x F!Reader x Joel Miller

Summary: A peek into your past and present with Ezra. A brief clash between you and Joel. Then, your best friend catches you with Joel.

Word Count: ~7,5k

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 (story masterlist) (my masterlist)

tags: NSFW 18+. Intuitive!Reader. Afab!Reader (she/they). Southern!Reader. Established Ezra x F!Reader. Polyam. No use of Y/N.

This Chapter: Pet names: baby, angel, darlin. Fighting/Fucking. Unprotected P-in-V. Ezra and his poor hygiene habits. Angst. Rage. Humor. Adult conversations.

Warnings: The first section of this chapter occurs in the past and contains consensual physical violence + sex, aka fighting/fucking, between the Reader and Ezra and the Reader and Ezra threaten each other’s lives (it’s understood between them that they don’t literally mean what they’re saying).

Author's Note: It's amazing how many different version of a chapter can exist before I end up with what I post. I hope this is the best version. I might have had too much caffeine today.

++++++++++++++++

“Just leave it!” he shouted at you from across the library with veins bulging from his neck. He splayed his fingers wide and threw his hands down. “We can’t take ‘em all!”

You traced the letters on the cover. 1,000 Facts About Space. Decorated with images of stars and planets and black holes. Your lips trembled and you fell to your knees.

Ezra groaned. “We don’t have time for this!”

“We were gonna go places.” Mars. The Asteroid Belt. Jupiter and beyond. To the very end of space and time. “We were gonna see… we were gonna see it all.” You swallowed thickly as your eyes filled with tears. 

“Yeah, well." Ezra spun around with his arms swinging. "It’s no longer an option, now is it?” he spat.

“B-but we’re gonna lose all this–all this knowledge!” You held the book to your chest and clung to your lower lip with your teeth as you pouted. In any other lifetime, it would have been a silly little collection of trivia you flipped through on someone’s coffee table. But in that moment, it was your ancestors’--nay, your entire species’--lost destiny and tragically unfulfilled prophecy.

“I am well aware of what progress our society is losing,” he snarled with wide eyes. “And I am just as heartbroken as you are but–" he placed his palms together in prayer. "–we cannot allow ourselves to mourn eternally over it and we cannot allow ourselves to mourn right–now!” He stomped his foot twice. “We need to move with haste,” he hissed.

“Stop telling me what to do!” you shouted, regressing into your childhood self, desperate and selfish and kicking your feet. God, why couldn’t Ezra understand you? Why couldn’t he understand the pain you were experiencing? Where was his fucking compassion?!

“Baby, if you don’t put that book down right now…” With his chin high and serious, he raised one ominous finger in your direction. “I’ll say it.”

You whipped your head up and flared your nostrils. He wouldn’t dare.

“You think I’m joking, huh?” Something about your reaction made his eyes glow. He dropped his hand.

“Don’t,” you threatened–your lips curled thin.

“Drop the book and get up or I’ll say it.” Excitement bubbled in his cheeks. He was grinning.

You stayed on the floor, snarling at him. Fire began to burn in your fists and ripple throughout your chest. “Don’t you fuckin say it.” Fuck, you wished he would. You wished this motherfucker would say it just so you could feel something for once in your whole stupid life.

“I will.” His eyes were positively glittering—sparkling like the falling dust in the pale white light flooding in through the windows. “I will speak it loudly and I will speak it proudly.”

“Don’t you fuckin say it, Ezra!” Your breaths were heaving now, hot blood pumping through your arms and legs. You were a wild beast being toyed with and prodded and the thought of pouncing your torturer burned embers low in your belly. You squeezed your thighs together–squirming.

“Don’t tell me what to do!” He said with a sideways shake of his head. He started laughing. You could see the beast in him, too, the way his teeth shined like fangs ready to sink into your skin.

You two went back and forth, taunting and tugging on one another while your bodies stayed in place and built up fiery momentum. 

It was Ezra who finally burst and snapped and he dug his teeth into the depths of your craw.

“I–" he started and your nostrils flared with hot air. 

"--miss–" 

Energy coiled in your toes 

"--the fuckin INTERNET!” He shouted and stomped, all red in the face and neck.

You launched yourself up from the floor and ran straight for him, screaming with fury and heated spite. You lunged forward, wrapping your arms around his knees, and tackled him to the ground. 

A loud pained groan was knocked from Ezra’s gut as he hit the floor. You scrambled up his body. 

You hovered above him, fingers gripping his shirt tight. "I am so fuckin sick of hearing you talk!" You punched him in the chest with the sides of your fists before tumbling over sideways and slamming into the floor, shoulder first. You hastily shimmied out of one pant leg because one leg free was all you needed before clawing yourself back on top of him.

"Give it to me–give it to me–" he choked out through short breaths. His pants and underwear were pulled under his hips. His twisted amusement was gone–replaced with a deep, snarling hunger. "Make it hurt, baby–" Ezra spit on his hand and stroked his cock. "Come on–" He whined.

You slid your panties to the side, wasting no time to sink down on his length. The sharp, dry pain went unnoticed as rage flooded your vibrating veins. You scratched your nails along the back of his scalp and pulled his head down and away from you. Your other hand curled into his shirt again. You wanted to rip it off his body and shove it in his mouth while he whimpered–and you tried, honestly, but the fabric wouldn't tear. 

Ezra dug his fingers into your waist. "Fuckin hurt me, baby!" He shouted and rolled his body, trying to get you to start moving. "Come on!"

You hunched over, meeting him nose-to-nose and screamed. "You wanna fuckin hurt?! I'll show you how to fuckin hurt!" You leaned upright. One hand squeezed his cheeks before the other swung back and punched him in the jaw–fist following all the way through. 

Ezra whimpered and jerked his hips. 

You saw blood in his teeth.

Fuck, it felt good. So good you almost came–it felt so good. The way your cunt clenched around him, sucking his cock deeper inside you. You bounced up and down, savoring the way his length stroked your inner walls. You reeled your arm back a second time and punched him again in the same spot to the right of his chin. This time, your fist hit the floor beneath him as well–sending a shooting pain from your knuckles up to your shoulder and right back down again.

Hoo! It hurt, but you shook it off–shook your hand around while bouncing up and down.

Ezra didn’t complain. In fact, he started fucking up into you, hips and bare ass using the hardwood floor as some kind of springboard. The rebound threw your body forward and you nearly toppled over him completely. But you were quick enough to steady yourself and met his strokes in a pounding, synchronous rhythm.

“I fuckin hate you!” you screamed in his face, sweat building on your brow. You punched him one more time for good measure, and the sting was so sharp–you felt pins and needles all through your hand. You clawed and tugged at his hair while hunting the billowing heat at your core. “I fuckin hate you, Ezra!” Fat tears filled your eyes and spilled down your cheeks. “I hope you fuckin die!”

“Nnng–I hate you, too, baby!” His eyes were glossy and wet and he was sweating from the exertion of his thrusts. "Fuck!" He whined and ached. "I fuckin hate you, too!" He croaked as he wept.

You wrapped your fingers in the hair on his crown. “If you fuckin come first, I’ll kill you mySELF!” Spit flew from your lips.

“Do it!” he yelled through gritted teeth, pain evident across his face. “Fuckin KILL ME ALREADY!” He shrieked. He was panting like a dog and crying like a baby.

“I’ll do it! I’ll fuckin KILL you, Ezra!” You were sobbing now–your abdomen spasming and twisting. You didn’t stop riding him, though. You were determined to get your orgasm–even if you felt yourself wavering. You shoved your dirty fingers in his mouth, down to your broken and bleeding knuckles, while your other hand braced yourself on the floor next to his head.

He tongued and choked on your fingers. He bit down hard and you loved it. Once you felt his hips slow–once his pace stuttered and grew weak–it set you off on your high. A creaking whimper escaped your throat. Your pussy clenched and contracted around him. A heady wave of blood pulsed through you, leaving you dizzy and disoriented. You collapsed into his body, limbs flopping around while Ezra chased his own end. 

You weren’t sure if he came in you or on you or somewhere else in the room. You just remembered the whole world going dark and quiet as you floated serenely on some post-orgasmic ethereal cloud. 

You were eternal. 

Unlimited. 

Until a waft of air over your bare ass sent goosebumps up your back and down your arms. You pried open your heavy eyelids with your cheek smushed against the floor. In front of you was a blur of book spines. A label on the shelf read ‘Local Authors.’ The title beneath:

'The Nature of Good and Evil' by Sylvia Browne.

—------

Ezra trekked ahead of you, smiling widely in the sun with a red wagon in tow. Its contents were covered in a black plastic tarp and wrapped up with cord. He craned his neck back and chuckled. “You clocked me pretty good, baby. It’s been–what?--over two weeks now? And I’m still feelin it.” He flexed his jaw. "Hoo!" 

“Sorry,” you murmured, embarrassed. You fumbled behind him, dragging a wagon of your own. Your knuckles were still tender, too. 

“There is no need to apologize for your actions.” He stopped and smiled. “I am proud of my woman.” He had been perky and grinning since you left the library behind. “I love it when you kick my ass.”

You rolled your eyes and laughed. You walked passed him, navigating carefully upward through the dry, grassy terrain. Your thighs and glutes trembled and ached. The soles of your feet burned. You couldn't feel your fingers hardly, but you didn't care. You didn’t wanna stop, yet, because you knew that stopping would make all the hurt settle in and throb through your body like rolling thunder–make your muscles spasm and twitch like flashes of angry lightning. 

“Shouldn’t be much further now," you heard him call from behind you.

You laughed again and yelled over your shoulder. “You have been saying that for days.”

“Well, since every scale is relative, I am technically correct each time I say it.”

You shook your head and sighed.

You heard a hungry moan. "Baby, I am treasuring the sight of your ass from this lower perspective–"

"Stop it!" Embarrassment heated your face as you giggled and squirmed, trying to cover yourself with your free hand. "You pervert!" 

He grunted. “You know me, angel–”

“HEY!" Shouted a deep and booming voice. 

Your hand instinctively pulled the pistol from your hip and you let go of the wagon. Your heart drummed in your chest as you searched the horizon. Like some kind of optical illusion, as soon as you saw one person heading towards you on horseback, you saw two more in your peripheral.

“Drop ‘em down! NOW!” It was the same deep voice as before–coming from a man wearing a bright red bandana over his face and a black cowboy hat. He was aiming his rifle straight at you. “And step away from the wagons!”

You both complied, clearly outnumbered and outgunned, too.

“Are you bit?” he shouted.

You shook your head as you raised your hands in surrender.

“No, my good sir.” Ezra cheerily spoke for both of you. “We are clean as whistles, I assure you.” He cleared his throat. “We are merely passing through—”

“What’s in the wagons?” asked a woman’s voice. She was to your right, wearing a denim jacket–face wrapped in a yellow bandana, but nothing atop her head but tightly twisted long black locs. 

“Nothing nefarious, I promise,” Ezra pressed his palms together. But he lifted them again when the woman raised her rifle. “We are delivering a collection of books–”

“Books?” The man in red sounded disgusted.

“Delivering to who?" Asked the woman. "There’s no one out here." She shook her head. “Certainly no one that ordered books.”

“Well, we uh–We–” Ezra looked to you, nudging for you to speak by widening his eyes.

You looked at the three riders surrounding you. Their clothes appeared clean and fitted. Although you could only see their eyes, they weren’t red and sunken. Their horses looked well-kept, too, brushed and attended to. You took your chance, praying to every single god you had ever heard of in your life that these were the right people and you were about to say the right words. “They left the light on for us,” you croaked out.

“...What?” said the man in red.

“They left the light on for us,” you repeated, though now that you were saying it out loud, you weren’t sure if it was correct. “They left the light on for-for-for me.”

“Th-that’s right!” chimed Ezra, still smiling with his hands up. “They left the light on for me.”

The three riders looked at each other. The woman in yellow trotted forward. 

“Who told you to say that?” she asked.

The tension eased a little. Your heart rate slowed. “My friend, Tonya. W-we met her back in Kansas City.”

The woman hummed. “And where is Tonya now?”

“She stayed,” you said and took a tight breath through your nostrils. “She’s still in Missouri.” 

She hummed again. “And she told you to bring us …books?”

“Tonya encouraged us to provide… tribute to the good people in the Jackson community,” said Ezra, bouncing on his toes. “My partner and I desire to join and participate in the development of this, uh… small town that Tonya has told us quiet, but evolutionary things about.”

The man in red scoffed. “So you brought books?”

“Yes. Books.” Ezra stood as proudly as he could with his hands still high in the air. “We carry with us some mechanical and medical textbooks and some children’s books for the little ones and-and-and we also have some literature, as well, from some of the greats–which–” He looked to you again. “--we know was a biased effort, of course, as is the nature of any opinion, b-b-but I believe we chose quite fairly across the board to-to-to express the diversity of our world’s uhh… our world’s—”.

“Capabilities,” you added.

“Capabilities! Yes! Our world’s capabilities and talent and knowledge.”

“We don’t do hand-outs, alright?” said the woman in yellow. “Everybody works.”

“Absolutely!” Ezra said. He looked over at you, flashing his eyebrows in a silent cheer before returning his attention to the riders. “I completely agree! One hundred percent!” He nodded in your direction. “M-my partner may need time to-to rest after this long, arduous journey, but I, personally, am fighting fit.”

The woman grunted and turned to the man in red. She spun her finger in the air. “Go get the dogs.”

Ezra smiled uncomfortably. “The-the what now?” 

—-----

There were never enough hours in the day. You don’t know how Joel kept his whole house so neat and clean and still found time to go on patrol and build things around town and limewash new shutters and take care of Ellie. You and Ezra shared a small apartment above the Outfitters and it was always an overwhelming disaster. 

You two had somehow collected so much in the brief time you had been in Jackson. And you had no idea what to do about all of it. Books and papers and trinkets and gifts and clothes–how the hell did you two own so many clothes?

And the shower was never clean enough and there was always dirt on the floors and the bed sheets–God! The bed sheets always smelled.

And Ezra never gave a shit.

Your eyes bore into him with fury as you stood watching him from the bedroom.

He was reclining on the couch wearing only blue boxer briefs and …a baseball cap, for some fuckin reason. He reached down to scratch his balls and then smelled his fingers after. A high pitched pained scream resounded in your head.

"Jesus Christ, Ezra," you groused and pointed at the floor. "Can't you put your clothes in the fuckin hamper?"

"Nope," he answered cheerily and flipped the page of his book. "I sure cannot."

The thing about Ezra’s cheeriness was that sometimes it was happy and perky and jovial. 

And sometimes it was a big 'Fuck You.''

You stomped through the living room and picked up his laundry while grinding your teeth. "You come home and just fuckin… throw your clothes all over the place." 

"I sure do." He grinned and continued to read.

Fire built in your chest. It didn't matter that you were just as messy. What mattered was that you were trying to do better–trying to be cleaner. And he refused to make a single effort.

"I'm sick of living in a fucking pig sty!" You screamed. You did not understand how to get through to him. No matter what avenue you took, he fought you at every turn, so you gave up and yelled at him all the time instead.

"It must suck to be you, then."

"Oh my god!" You shouted with your hands curled into tight fists. "You are a fuckin child!" 

He turned to you with a proud smile, eyes disappearing behind his rounded cheeks, and released an utmost satiated hum.

You started panting in anger. You wanted to grab his book and rip it in half. Or set fire to each page one by one, laughing maniacally as he cried–the flames reflecting brightly in your wild eyes. 

But… no. You didn't really want to do that because he loved his books. He loved reading. And you didn't really wanna hurt him. 

That would break his heart.

And in turn, it would break yours, too.

…But you did kinda wanna strangle him right where he was, laying on the couch without a care in the world. 

But.

Again.

You didn't really wanna strangle him. 

Because even though you imagined doing all this damage to Ezra, it was a cartoon fantasy that played in your mind. Like Looney Tunes or Ren and Stimpy where the excessive violence never did any permanent damage but allowed the characters to get out all their frustrations.

This was usually where the hate-fucking came in. 

But that was for ‘out there.’ Out in the rest of the world where safety and survival was a constant uncertainty. Where there was nowhere to go when you needed a break from one another and the persistent grinding friction between the two of you had to breach your surfaces somehow.

But now you’re ‘in here.’ In Jackson. In a community that allowed you to get the fuck away from him when necessary.

And–Praise be!–on this day, you knew the perfect place to go.

“I am getting the fuck out of this fuckin apartment!” you shouted into the air.

“Good for you, angel.” Ezra was so calm and encouraging. “I hope you have a wonderful day.”

The fact that he wouldn't fight you back just made you angrier. "Well I hope your day fuckin sucks!" You screamed and slammed the door behind you as you left. 

You stomped down the stairs into the alleyway and stopped once you hit the bottom. Your head was already clearer outside of the confines of your shared living space. The cool fresh air cleansed the heat from your skin and a slow, deep breath brought you even further toward peace of mind.

It was inventory day at the General Store and you knew they needed extra hands.

It was the perfect distraction. 

Counting items was easy and repetitive. And you would be under direct surveillance, by Derek of all people, so there would be no opportunity for your mind to wander and ail you. The man was impossible and it made you do better just to spite him.

Derek was one of the patrollers that first found you and Ezra. He was on the council, supervised the General Store, and ran the town meetings. And he loved Ezra. 

His feelings toward you, though, were tepid at best. 

You hoped Tracy would be there. She was Derek’s wife and probably your closest friend in all of Jackson. She was funny and bright and she loved her kids more than anything. She always wore a velvety soft brown cardigan and smelled like lemongrass. Her friendship made you feel all warm inside and damn, you needed a friend.

Unfortunately, as you approached the front door, you saw Derek through the window. And even more unfortunately, he saw you, too. Meaning there was no turning back. You took another deep breath and opened the door.

“Inventory day,” Derek groaned as you walked in.

“Oh, I know!” You smiled with your fingers tugging on the hem of your shirt. “I wanted to see if you needed an extra hand.”

“An extra hand?” He scoffed with his eyes all big. He crossed his arms over his stomach, one hand clinging to his clipboard. He glared with disdain. “We started over an hour ago. You can’t just show up whenever you feel like it.”

You crossed your arms right back. “I was just passin by–”

“Passing by?” He pointed his stupid little clipboard at you. “You live across the way.”

“Livin across the way doesn’t mean I can’t pass by.” You huffed. This wasn’t quite going how you had planned it would go. “Maybe–Maybe I could bring y'all lunch or something?” You suggested as you scratched your eyebrow. “So you don’t have to go to the hall for it?"

Derek scoffed even louder than before.  “And make a big mess in the middle of the store? No.” He huffed back. “We got enough mess to deal with already.”

“Heeey!” You heard Tracy call out to you in song. She wore chunky heels that echoed with every step as she approached. “How are you?” she asked as she opened up her arms.

“I’m doin good, Tracy,” you grinned and glowed and hummed as you met her in a tight warm hug. You glared at Derek over her shoulder and he rolled his eyes. “i was just seein if y’all needed help, but–”

“Oh, great timing!” she said and squeezed your shoulder after pulling away. “Derek, let’s get her counting those pillows in the back.”

“No." He was all worked up, eyes bulging, offended by the suggestion. "I’m gonna have Kara take care of that when she’s done with the blankets.” He tossed his hand in the air. “We don’t need her. She’s just gonna count ‘em wrong anyway.”

You raised your finger to defend yourself. "I told you. Last time, I had a cold and I was on my cycle, okay?"

"Horseshit," he muttered under his breath. 

“Derek, be nice,” Tracy hissed. “She is my friend and she is trying to help.”

“I don’t care if she’s trying to help.” He tossed his hand up again. “Let her go help someone else.” He stomped away, shaking his head. 

Tracy rolled her eyes, tucking a brown curl behind her ears. “Sorry about that.” She huffed as she wrapped her cardigan around her front. “He is bein such an asshole today.” She mouthed the word 'asshole' so no one else would hear. "And I don't know why–" she hid her mouth behind the back of her hand. "--'cause he definitely got some last night."

You faked a laugh. Normally, her little asides would crack you up, but your mood was souring everything.

She shook her head and sighed. “Anyway, if he won't let you help out in here, there was a little accident that happened in the tool shed over night last night." Tracy interlaced her fingers together and pleaded with her eyes.

"Oh yeah?" You really didn't want to work by yourself, but there was no way out of it at this point.

"One of the shelves fell and we just haven't had a spare moment to go clean it all up." She smiled kindly and you forced a smile back. "Maybe you can go do that for us."

"I can do that! Don't you worry ‘bout a thing," you nodded, groaned internally, and walked back out the front door. 

—--

The large barn door to the tool shed was wide open and you recognized an empty space on the back wall above the wood-top counter. Once you stepped past the work table in the center, you saw the edge of it--the 'accident' that Tracy referred to. To the left of the back counter was a tall pile of nails and bolts and screws and broken pieces of glass from the jars that had once sorted them all. 

“The fuck,” you muttered.

The shelf itself was a long, thin, deep slab of wood, sitting on top of the back counter, dusty and stained. Its brackets were still secured to the wall, strangely enough. 

You scoffed. The shelf had no holes in it. It was solid. 'What idiot puts up a shelf and doesn’t attach it to the fuckin brackets?' You huffed. 'How long has this been here like this?' You shook your head. 'A disaster waitin’ to happen and then–' you waved your palm out to the mess on the floor. '--it finally happens.'

You groaned. This looked like something Ezra would do. He was so lazy. He never finished anything but his books. That's all he ever wanted to do was read. Hardly ever spent any time with you.

Sure, there was that amazing sex you had the other morning, but besides that–hardly ever!

You groaned again. Not that you would want to spend time with his unwashed ass right now.

God, Ezra was the worst. There was something wrong with that man. What kind of person happily marinates in their own filth like that? Why couldn’t he shower every day like a normal person? Just because he had off the night before didn’t mean he should just soak in his own sweat and muck and – Ugghh!

And he never picked up after himself. Sometimes …maybe he would pick up a thing or two, but mostly never.

And then Derek, ugh! How the hell was Tracy married to him? He was so impossible to please. You wanted to help with inventory. You weren't there on time because you didn't know how you were gonna feel that morning and you didn't wanna commit to something if you were just gonna let them down again. And last time you had a cold and you were on your cycle and your brain couldn't hold the numbers in your head but that wasn't your fault! You did the best you could every single day of your life and sometimes your brain and body betrayed you and forced you to betray others but it wasn't intentional! You weren't trying to be an unreliable piece of shit! You were trying to do better every fuckin day for yourself and for Jackson and for Ezra’s disgusting ass! You didn't mean to be a big fuckin failure who had no skills and devolved into a panicked puddle of blood, sweat, and tears by the tiniest inkling of responsibility now that you were inside the safety of Jackson’s walls! It wasn't your fault that you were never gonna be enough! It wasn't your fault that–

Someone cleared their throat and it grated against your skin.

You looked up from the pile of sharp glass and metals.

Great. 

Now Joel was here. 

He was the last person you wanted to see while you were busy being animus and self-loathing. And he was smiling at you like life was all fun and happy or something when it wasn’t!

God, it felt so fuckin stupid to be alive.

"Mornin, darlin," he grinned and shuffled towards you. 

His sexy, smoky voice was so stupid and annoying.

"Mornin," you rolled your eyes as you sorted out nails and tossed them into one of the few surviving jars. 

He stopped. Tilted his head. Had the nerve to breathe in your general direction. "So…" he pointed with his chin. "What happened here?"

You raised your head slowly with a condescending glare. “The shelf fell down." You raised your palm toward the empty spot on the wall like you were Vanna White. ‘Is this beautiful idiot incapable of observing his own surroundings? Is he too busy being attractive and handsome to use basic deduction skills?’

He raised his eyebrows and put his hands on his hips. "Did… did you do it?" He asked.

And now he was accusing you of being the idiot that didn't properly install a simple fucking shelf?! 

"No, I didn't do it, you fuckin asshole," you groused and tossed more nails into the jar.

"Hey." 

You felt him more than you heard him–a tense shockwave rippling through you like an earthquake, shoving you to teeter on the edge of a crevice. You whipped your head up. Your gut trembled. Your whole world became uncertain and unbalanced.

Joel towered above you from where you sat, shrinking into the floor. He scowled with his arms crossed. "What is this? What are you doin?” He shrugged his broad shoulders and shook his head. “Don't talk to me like that." 

His disappointment sent your heart over the edge into free-fall. Shame crawled across your skin and all the heat and turmoil in your head suddenly vanished, leaving behind nothing but a cold, empty wind. You covered your eyes with your hand and sucked air into your lungs.  "I'm sorry," you creaked out, frowning. You had seen Joel standing there, but you hadn't felt him yet. Too busy in your own storm to see anyone but yourself. Your heart shrank further.  "Sorry." Tension stung the muscles in the center of your chest and snaked its way up your throat. "I-I-I get like this …sometimes." The water that had once been boiling inside of you had cooled and started pouring out your eyes. 

"Well, don't… get like it… with me," he said, sounding on the edge of timid.

"Okay. Okay." You nodded and recycled another breath. And even though you still felt the burn of shame on your skin, the pressure on your chest was relieved. "I'm sorry." You sniffed and spoke to the floor. 

You wiped enough of your tears away to see Joel eyeing you with his brows pulled tight, chewing on his lip. It surprised you that he didn't push back or start yelling. It surprised you that he stayed instead of throwing his hands up and stomping off or, at the very least, saying something polite before leaving you be to wallow in your own shame.

"Are you alright? What's goin on?" He asked.

You opened your mouth to speak, thinking the words would come to you, but they didn't. You sighed, half-smiling. "I'm sorry, Joel. It's nothin." You waved him away. "You've got work you're trying to do–"

"Can't be nothin if it's got you actin like that. I–" he sighed. "C'mon." He offered you his hand. 

You obliged, reaching out and allowing him to pull you up. You wiped the dirt from your knees and shit, they felt stiff and bruised. You didn't realize you had been kneeling for so long.

 He carefully took your hand in his own again. It felt good and warm and safe. "So what's wrong? I-I gotta be honest" He huffed and smiled. "I didn't know… someone as happy as you could get like that."

If he hadn't been holding your hand, you would have ran away–you were so embarrassed. You closed your eyes. Your breaths grew shallow.

"It's–It's–I just–" The right words still weren't there.

"Look at me," he said.

You complied. 

"I wouldn't be askin if I didn't wanna know." His eyes were big and tender. The lines around them and in his forehead echoed his sincerity like ripples in water. 

You closed your eyes, nodding.

And his thumb was rubbing along the center of your palm and he was waiting–so patiently.

You opened your eyes and his expression was unchanged. "I have these moods…" the words finally tumbled out of you. "...where I get lost in my own head and wanna hurt everyone and everything. But I don't really wanna hurt anyone.” You sighed. “But then I go lashin out at everybody, anyway." 

A soft smile bloomed on his face. “Yeah,” he said and glanced into the alleyway. “I know what that’s like.”

Relief washed over you, removing all your remaining apprehension. You had been so scared and yet… he impressed you again.

“I don’t wanna be your punchin bag, though,” he said earnestly.

You didn’t know a statement like that could feel so good–warming up your chest and clearing out your mind. “I don’t want you to be my punchin bag, either,” you said, echoing his sincerity. “It won’t happen again, Joel.” You were confident of that. “I’m sorry it happened in the first place.”

“‘S alright.” He blinked and looked down to where you had been sitting on the floor. “That was… easy compared to most of the fights I have.” Amusement rounded his cheeks, his dimple burrowing deep. He leaned his hip into the back counter, resting his elbow atop it. He was still playing with your hand, interlacing your fingers through it. 

You giggled through your closed-lip smile.

He spoke to the floor between your bodies. “I … fight myself more than anybody.” 

Your smile turned sympathetic.

“You could say I’m my own punchin bag,” he said in a forced joke with a forced smile.

“Yeah,” you nodded, staring at him with open tenderness. “I know what that’s like.” Your hand found his waist, fingers on the smooth leather of his belt and the rough fabric of his jeans. You rubbed your thumb up and down the soft, cotton fabric of his shirt. You wanted to wrap your arms around him and hold him close, but you weren't sure how he would respond. You didn't move. Didn't say anything. Didn't want to risk him closing back up. 

His eyes–you could lose yourself in them forever. Especially with how adoringly he looked at you. You wondered if he was delusional or something to be so quickly enamored with you.

Shit, though. Maybe you were delusional, too, because he was constantly making you melt and you didn't even know him. Not really. Not like you knew Ezra. 

Was this okay? Was this alright to feel about someone when you didn't yet know all their quirks and viewpoints and world opinions? You knew Ezra for years before you crossed that boundary. And that was living every single day in his presence. You and Joel had spent very little time together, but god, you felt yourself pulled to him by some electromagnetic current. 

But you were a lot older and wiser than when you first met Ezra. Your instincts were stronger and clearer. And your life wasn't at risk if things went south between you–there were no cordyceps or raiders or slavers to find you if he wasn't at your side with a gun in his hand. 

You could trust this–whatever it was–happening between you. You could trust yourself to figure it out, too. Maybe Ezra was right. Not everything could fit into a pretty little box for you to label and package all nice and neat. Maybe it was alright to be messy. 

So when Joel stepped closer, bringing your bodies flush, you felt warm and easy. And when he leaned forward to kiss you, you felt no doubt in your body when you leaned in to kiss him right back.

The distinctive sound of metal clocking against itself and wood sliding against wood startled both of you. You both whipped your heads around to see Tracy, slamming the door behind her and scuttling towards you from the back of the General Store.

Time slowed down right in front of your eyes, moving like molasses down a shallow incline. You felt your heart pounding in your ears. You hadn’t prepared for this. You hadn’t prepared to tell anyone. Til you knew what the hell you were doing.

But… of all the people to catch you in the act, at least it was Tracy. She knew you better than anyone else in town.

"Hello. Hi." She waved her hand–a broad, panicked smile on her face.

“Shit,” Joel muttered under his breath.

She stepped inside the shed with her hands clasped together. “What’s going on? What are you doing?” She asked. Her voice teetered between casual and accusative.

“‘S none of your business.” Joel’s voice teetered on threatening.

“Um, actually it is my business–” She held her finger up and snaked her head around. “--when my best friend is about to throw her perfect relationship down the toilet.”

Joel scoffed and rolled his eyes. 

Your heart jumped. ‘Best friend?’ You hadn’t had a best friend since high school. And you and her had had a falling out, which was why you went to college alone in the first place. You needed this. You needed to save this. You held your palms up, attempting to calm her. “Look, Tracy. I know it looks bad, but–”

Her arms were crossed and angry. “After all Ezra does for you and for this town and–what? You’re just gonna leave him for-for this?” With a disgusted look, she tossed her finger in Joel’s direction before tucking it back beneath her arm.

Joel placed his palms on the work table, leaning his weight into them. He looked ready to pounce.

You stayed even and gentle. “I am not leaving Ezra.”

You felt Joel’s eyes on you.

“Oh, okay. Of course.” She shrugged. “You’re just gonna fuck someone else behind his back. My bad.”

“It’s not like that,” you said evenly.

“Ezra knows.” Joel added.

“No. Uh-uh.” Tracy shook her head. “There is not a man alive that would let their wife run around and make a fool out of them.” 

Your palms were still high, still trying to ease back her cloud of upset. “No one is bein made a fool of, Tracy. Ezra knows.” 

She scoffed. “This is a joke, right? This is a fucking joke?” Her head was still shaking. Tears rimmed her eyes as she dropped her arms. "Is Ezra not enough for you?" She pressed her fist into her chest. "After all he's done to support you and he's not enough?"

 You struggle to find the words, every thought in your head is blurry. 

She laughs, wiping pained tears from her reddening eyes. "Ezra is such an incredible, perfect, handsome man and you–"

"Ezra is not some golden child.” Joel spat.

"What?" You turned to look at him. His face was red and he was snarling.

"Ooooh!" Tracy looked sickeningly excited and started waving her finger around. "You got a lotta nerve to say anything, Joel." She spat his name out like an insult. "I have heard plenty of stories about what you did before Jackson."

He raised his jaw, his body gone stiff. His chest heaved hot breaths through his nostrils.

"All the killing and smuggling." She huffed. "The only reason they even let you in was because of your brother."

You scoffed. "Tracy, stop it." Your calm was disappearing.

"You don't know, do you?" Her eyes were now trained on you. "You don't know how many people he's killed?"

"Tracy," you warned. “I am not going there. There is not a single person in this town–”

“Innocent people.” She said your name to you as if to emphasize her point. She leaned forward, pointing at Joel as if her finger was gonna help you understand everything she was telling you. “He killed innocent people.” 

“I killed innocent people, too.” You threw your hands up–stiff, exasperated. You spoke through gritted teeth and trembling lips. “And people tell me stories all the time about murderin and torturin and-and-and the sick, painful shit they did to get by.” You pointed a shaky finger downward. “People here. In Jackson.” You stared at Tracy's pained face, wet cheeks. "But we are not who we were when we were survivin'." 

“Fine. Fine!” Tracy spat, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Fine!" Her head was shaking. Her body was trembling. “B-B-But you can’t do this.” Now her finger was pointing at you. “You can’t just go around… fuckin whoever you want.”

Your eyes grew wide and your jaw went slack.

“It is none of your business,” Joel snarled again.

“There are families here. And there are children.”

“What?” What the hell did that have to do with anything?

“And how am I supposed to explain to my kids that you’re out there sluttin’ it up like nothing means anything?”

“What?” You wanted to laugh. "That–that doesn't even make sense! What are you talking about?" ‘Like nothing means anything?’ What the hell did that mean? 

“You get one, okay?” She started stepping back, out of the tool shed and into the alley. “You get one and that’s all you get. That's how it works. That's how it's always worked.” She nodded, satisfied. “Okay? So pick.” She clapped her hands together. “And you know how I feel about this one.” She nodded toward Joel and turned around.

You stomped around the work table. “I don’t have to pick shit!” She was almost to the door. “I can do whatever the hell I want!”

She threw her hands up, shaking her head, and went inside.

Your whole body was jittery. Your breaths were short. There were people, you noticed, on the edge of your vision. Other people in the alley. But you didn’t count them and you didn’t look to see if they were looking at you. You placed your hand on your chest, attempting to calm your nerves.

Joel stood in the tool shed, watching you and working his jaw. He looked down and crossed his arms.

“I … I don’t know what the hell just happened,” you said as you leaned against the doorway. You were exhausted suddenly–every ounce of life having been sucked from your veins and mind and bones. 

Joel didn’t say anything. Just wiped his face and adjusted his belt. 

“Everything is happenin so fast. It’s too fast.” Your eyes welled with tears. You didn’t know you had any left in there. “I don’t understand it. I don’t understand what is goin on.”

Joel slowly stepped to you, boots scraping against the dusty floors. He placed his hand on your shoulder and opened his mouth to speak. But he closed it just as quickly.

You sighed and wiped your tears. You wrapped your palm around his warm hand and it felt so good to touch his skin. You didn’t need or want him to say anything at all. It was enough to be in his presence. You took a deep breath and looked at him with a small smile on your lips.

“I need to go tell Ezra what happened so he’s not blind-sided by it later ‘cause I know she’s gonna tell somebody and they’re gonna tell somebody else and I’m pretty sure–” you sighed. “I’m pretty sure some other people just heard us arguin out there.”

“A-alright,” he said–his hand staying on your shoulder.

God, being with Joel felt so good and so right and so… correct. Like this was what you were supposed to be doing. Like this was what your whole life had been building toward and you were exactly where you needed to be. 

“I wanna see you again. Soon."

Joel's eyebrows shot up, his lips upturned on the edges. “Really? E-Even after all that?”

“I'm not changing myself to make her feel better.” You spoke with confidence. You shrugged. “This is who I am.” You gasped and stepped back, putting out your arm to make space between the two of you. “I mean, if you need to take a break or wanna stop or if it's too much and you wanna think about it–"

“No no no no.” Joel smirked. "I'm good."

You couldn't believe it. "...Really?"

He scowled. "I don't give a shit about these people." He pulled you back in by your waist, adoring you with a smile. "I can do whatever the hell I want." 

You laughed, shaking your head. His tender eyes had you hooked again and you reached up to hold his face in both of your hands. The kiss you shared was just as tender, lips locking with only a tease of your tongues. 

You were determined to make this work. 

You were also determined to not lose Tracy as your friend. 

You knew it wouldn't be easy, but it would definitely be worth it.

+++++++

A/N: I feel like it's important to say that Joel 'Bottles-Up-His-Emotions' Miller will not stay cool, calm, and collected forever. The next chapter will include a lot of processing.

tag list: @toxicanonymity @jksprincess10 @shotgun-shelby @walkintotheriveranddisappear @for-a-longlongtime @rubyfruitjungle

+++++++

(story masterlist)

(my masterlist)

[mhsdatgo]

"You told me it was our duty to hold the realm united against a common foe. By naming me heir, you divided the realm. I thought I wanted it. But the burden is a heavy one. It’s too heavy. If you wish for me to bear it, then defend me. And my children." 

Episodes 8

What is your opinion on this speech?

Hello anon.

So this is like you said one of the scenes from ep.8, when Rhaenyra visits Viserys' bedchambers and he acknowledges her as his "only child" (not the main point of the scene, but Viserys when I catch you.)

Rhaenyra in this scene looks like a woman who isn't ready for the consequences of her actions and the way they've come back to bite her in the ass. But there's something else, deep inside. And it isn't as easy as this one. To me, this is Rhaenyra realizing that just about everything she is, everything she'll be and everything she has grown herself to want to be, it all depends on Viserys.

She is seeking out his help because it's the only one she'll ever TRULY get. The only one who comes the closest to loving her truly is him, even if this rotting excuse of a man she's weeping to is someone who would've been happy to throw her away to some other lord had Aemma's son Baelon survived.

In the end, I really think Viserys was mostly obsessed with the idea of Aemma. The idea of her, combined with the prophecy, made it so that she became something central, something fundamental, her and the children Viserys thought he'd have with her- nevermind the stillbirths, the miscarriages and the babes dead in the cradle. To him, those didn’t matter. Viserys had possibly consoled himself with the idea of another child who would wear the Conqueror's crown, and so he'd force Aemma's mangled body to work overtime, all for the sake of building the path to future he so desperately desired. And when it killed her, what was he left with? Aemma's only child. Rhaenyra.

In the end, Aemma is the only reason why he ever paid Rhaenyra any mind. The only thing left of his first wife, the one who mostly resembles the idea he had fallen in love with. He indulged her because in his mind, she, out of all people, could do no wrong. But this isn't magic, and Rhaenyra grew up spoiled and entitled, not the godsend Viserys hoped, but he couldn’t see it, too blinded with his dreams and false visions to be concerned with anything else.

When Viserys spoke of Rhaenyra about the prophecy, this passed on to her. Indirectly, and not for the same reasons and ambition as his father, (because what was Rhaenyra, if not a girl who had just lost her mother?) she believed that the throne, and anything regarding it, were entitled to her. Because Viserys named her heir, because the houses bowed and pledged loyalty to her. But most importantly, not because she viewed herself as a godsend, no, that came later. Because Aemma had died for this.

Her mother had been gutted like a beast for the dream, for the ghost of Viserys' dreams. How can she see and understand his reasoning? All she sees is that her father killed his mother. It doesn’t matter who he blames her death on, the giant cut on her belly was his order and the maesters' doing. All in pursuit of a male son, of an heir, something that poor Rhaenyra had grown to believe it was an idol, with the way her father spoke of it like some Messiah. When that title was passed on to her, can you imagine what it must have meant to her? She now has her mother's and all her brothers' deaths on her shoulders. If she doesn’t get the throne, then what did her mother die for? What about every single one of her brothers, the ones born without breath, the ones dead in the cradle, the ones dead long before its term? And at the same time, was her father's eagerness for the ideal heir all for naught?

Really, it doesn't matter what she says and does, she cannot conceive it as something wrong as long as her father allows her and indulges her, but we all know why he does what he does. And in that scene in ep.8, it all comes crashing down to her. It hasn't quite hit her yet that her father only loved her because she was her mother's daughter, yet deep down she knows her future and self-worth all rely on him. It wouldn't mean anything if she went to some other man, but him? He's the King, his word is law. He's her father, he'd defend her against the Stranger if he could. Because if he wouldn't, what's there left to believe?

Meanwhile she keeps on making one wrong turn after the other again and again, over the years and she doesn't even mind her father anymore, now grow up with the same view of herself as him. She doesn't see him for six years, and when she comes back, he's rotting. She realizes that her end is most likely near, and so even if he's visibly ill and close to death, she goes to him.

Yes, this situation is her doing, but the culprit was Viserys and the way he has grown her. Rhaenyra is nothing but the personification of all his mistakes, and like him, she believes hers can be ignored. She was so sure that everyone would just listen and dote upon his and her word that to her, all it was need for this common foe to be "defeated" was yet another reminder that his chosen one is her, no one else but her. When an entire room of people chooses her over the "common foe", this belief is strengthened even further.

No matter her former best friend who's made to be a glorified bedwarmer and a mad woman in the eyes of everyone, no matter the fact that this reminder only served as motivation for her to grasp power away from Rhaenyra as soon as Viserys dies. The damage is done by this point yet she still believes in Viserys to fix it even when he's basically on his deathbed.

So yeah, I think this is everything I've got to say. Overall, this is Rhaenyra realizing how screwed she is and resorting to fixing it the only way she knows how.

Thanks for the ask!!

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

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1. Hey, I'm looking for a fanfic in which LWJ assuming that he somehow impregnated WWX in his dreams when WWX says that he birthed Wen Yuan, I remember reading this fanfic on ao3, but I can't find it. There's a fanfic that looks like the one I want. called Taking Responsibility, but it's not what I'm looking for. please if anyone knows, help me 😭😭😭😭😭 @narablackpotter

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2. I read a fic (obviously), one key scene is LWJ has OCD and needs to feed LXC’s pet snake a defrosted mouse and has a bit of a panic attack while doing it. WWX eventually steps in to help feed the pet. LWJ then obsessively cleans the kitchen. There is a balcony near the kitchen.

So, LXC is dating NMJ and they are living together and are together but somehow LWJ doesn’t know. WWX needs a place to stay. He is an art student and is applying to universities in London, I think. NHS offers to let him stay at the apartment. NHS is also staying there in NMJ’s “room” which is like a workout room with a futon. So, WWX is sleeping on a sofa that's a bit too small for him. Eventually it turns into "there was only one bed" (maybe).

I hope you can help!! @dreamlandtrees

FOUND? Adventures in Pet Sitting by raitala (E, 63k, wangxian, modern, hurt/comfort, artist WWX, maths nerd LWJ, LWJ pov, comphet LWJ, self-realization, coming out, London, sharing a bed, exploring sexuality, pining, fluff & angst, happy ending) I'm still in the middle of reading this so the scene described hasn't come up yet but the premise is the same!

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3. hi~~ <3 for the next fic finder i was hoping you might help me find a weird but good one! wen ning and wei ying were best friends and used code to talk to each other around other people but they were modern and using memes and references so the not modern everyone else couldnt understand them, and thought they were a wee bit crazy. At one point, wei ying gave lan xichen a doom prophecy of everything that was going to go down. It was so good and i miss it  lol. Thank you for any help!

FOUND? So Call Me a Pessimist, but I Don't Believe in It by Anonymous (Not Rated, 121k, WIP, WangXian, Food Issues, Family Feels, Possible future XiCheng, Transmigrator WWX, transmigration au, Slow Burn)

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4. There's this one fic on archiveofourown that I've been trying to find since ages ago.......

The fic has (maybe) foxxian, and he's an omega. It is kind of au, but when Wen Chao attacks Lotus Cove, Wuxian kills him when he tries to mate with Wei WuXian because his omega counterpart knows that he's not the alpha who can dominate him. Later, he brings Wen Chao's head to Jiang siblings after killing all the Wen people there at Lotus Cove.

This is the only thing I remember. It would be great if someone could help me find this fic because I'm gonna lose my mind soon if I can't find it again. Feel free to tag my account if someone finds this eventually and contacts you. Thanks in advance!! I hope to get a reply soon!!!! @nabi1118

FOUND? In Love and War by Cataclysmic_Calamity (E, 68k, WangXian, A/B/O Dynamics, Canon Divergence, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Arranged Marriage, Kind of a slow burn, enemies to lovers ish, rampant sexual tension, Miscommunication, past emotional abuse, Dubious Consent, Consensual Non-Consent, Semi-Public Sex, Anal Fingering, Dom/sub, Anal Sex) There's no foxxian, but everything else seems to be present

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5. For ficfinder, it's a time travel one. The scene I recall: WWX and I think JC were captured with JF by Wen Ruohan. After they defeat WR, LXC is a bit mad they killed MY since he was the spot, but WWX said "he killed uncle Jiang" and everyone accepted it. I really want to read that scene again but I've read approximately 70 billion time travel AUs so uh I need your help... @mreisse

FOUND? Hand in Hand Together (All Your Life) by sami (T, 41k, JC/WZL, WangXian, Asexual JC, Queerplatonic relationship, Implied future MingLi, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Slow Burn)

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6. Hi do you think you know this one fic where WWX came back from the burial mounds without memories and stuff? I remember he kinda knew who JC was, and that LWJ was playing the guqin to try and bring back WWX's memories. I think it also had WQ and JYL as a ship

FOUND? Helping Yourself by nirejseki (Not Rated, 1k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Temporary Amnesia, Short-Term Memory Loss)

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7. Hi! I'm looking for a fic where LZ proposes Weiying a threesome with Moyuanxu (no explicit sex scene described) in Modern Setting, which triggers WWX jealousy & wonders about LZ feelings bc he admits that 'boy Moyuanxu reminds him of WWX' (at the end). It starts when Mo is leaving after sex (he's LZ office's co-worker). The entire fic is ab Weiying questioning their relationship & explores both of 'em feelings after being together for so long. Prob cheating/unfaithful LanZhan. Happy ending. Tysm @einherjermineord

FOUND? give something new a try by ilip13 (E, 12k, wangxian, modern, established relationship, angst w/ happy ending, married life, insecurity, jealousy, mentioned threesome (WWX/MXY/LWJ))

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8. Hello! Please help me find this fic. Its a modern au where WWX and LWJ is theater actor. I think the setting is in acting department in university? The junior and WangXian practices for an oncoming show. In the past, WWX was kicked out from university and the reason he can play for this show is because of LWJ's recommendation. When its close to the day the show playing, LJY (and other junior i think) overheard that SS wants to blackmail WWX with the same material that makes WWX dissapear in the past. So they tried to investigate it and ask NHS for help (?). The material of that blackmail is WWX writes an essay and claim it as JWY's without JWY knowing. I think LQR already knows about that but decide it was already in the past (?). I think thats all i can remember. Thank you! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

FOUND! stir things apart by azurewaxwing (T, 27k, WangXian, Modern AU, College AU, Fluff, Angst with a happy ending, Pining)

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9. hello, I don't know if you'll understand cause English is not my first language. I'm trying to find three fic(but one is a series) and i cant find them.

A) This series is an a/b/O universe. I think it was an arranged marriage between wei ying and lan zhan. It was to unite YunmengJiang and the GusuLan clans because of the war but madam yu didnt didnt want to send her children. The marriage wasn't supposed to be a happy one but lan zhan and wei ying mated on the night on their wedding and both of them had a mate Mark and in this verse is a big thing for an alpha to allow an omega to bite them, it gives an omega a higher status. The jiang siblings were jealous of wei ying for this as her marriage to jin zixuan wasnt a happy one and he didnt allow jiang yanli to bite him, so she had to now to wei ying as he is of higher status than yanli. Also lan sizhui is wei ying and lan zhan biological child.

B) This is like a fantasy where they we're all gods. Wei ying was bunished to his place for a crime he did not commit. Lan zhan firstly did not believe wei yinh but later realised his mistake. He went to live in wei yings palace. But wei ying was very angry and did not speak to him for many years but lan zhan managed to win him with his loyalty.

C) I don't remember the context of the story but what I remember is that lan zhan used to call wei ying san Lang

9A)

FOUND! Alliance AU by Ilona22 (E, 17k, wangxian, ABO, arranged marriage, intersex omegas, canon Jiang family dynamics, not JC friendly, matchmaking, night hunts) is the first in the Alliance series I think

9B)

FOUND! The Mark of a Phoenix by glowingreverie (G, 3k, wangxian, gods & goddesses au, angst w happy ending, betrayal)

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10. Hello! Hope everything's great! I've searching for a fic for a while now, I hope you can help me. I remember a couple of things about it:

-The Wen/WWX give A-Yuan to LWJ (because he got sick, I believe. And they couldn't help him. Or maybe just to get him out of the BG and the storm that was coming.)

-LWJ claimed him as his son and everyone believes he fathered a bastard. JGS even compared himself to LWJ and got shot down LMAO. In this scene LWJ asked JGY for future advise in how to raise his son so he would know life outside of the Great Sects' vision.

-LWJ composes a song and ask a street musician? to play it for him. I believe he cries. Words go out and everyone just talk about the tragic love between LWJ and a dead woman LOL Maybe WWX even sends a reply or something, I don't quite remember.

If you can help me find it, I'l appreciate it! Even then, thank you for the time! ♥︎♡♥︎ @randomhystericgeek

FOUND? Part 2: Han Guang Jun’s Son of Claiming Life from Death series by MarbleGlove (T, 3k, wangxian, canon divergence, rumors, lying is forbidden, but what is the truth)

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11. Hello again!!!

I need help finding a fic please!

I don’t remember much but I know that wwx and the juniors were on a night hunt or something when they came across some type of dog-like yao. Wwx fought it by himself even though he was scared shitless and I think he did something to restrain or protect the juniors so they couldn’t help him. I think he got injured and all the juniors were worrying over him. Sorry if this isn’t descriptive enough. It’s all I can remember 🥲 thanks in advance!!! @jikcf​

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12. hi hi! Im trying to look for a wangxian fic but i barely remember anything of it.

the only thing i remember was the near ending where wwx is in a hospital bed and mutters "fuck me" and lwj "maybe later"

that's all i remember i'm so sorry 😔

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13. Hi! I’m looking for a tumblr fic. I think it’s in jiang cheng’s pov. Jiang Yanli comes back to life but the price of that is that Wei Wuxian loses all his memories of Lan Wangji. He eventually kills himself because of it. I don’t think it’s super Jiang Cheng positive and Jiang yanli doesn’t forgive him for it either. Something along those lines, thank you in advance!! @fruityloopsh

FOUND? I think it is this Tumblr Post

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14. Hii! For the next fic finder can you help me with this fic where

A) after WY resurrection lWJ is happy but at the same time has moments where he’s annoyed by WY but then he also feels guilty about it cause he should just be happy WY is back after all. It follows the canon, mostly, it just has more LZ POV

B) -- This one moved to ITMF post ^^ ~Mod L

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15. Ack, sorry if this has been asked before, but I'm looking for a post canon fic where LWJ was cursed and sort of fell out of love with WWX, who was hurt by the growing distance, but only really twigged something was wrong when LWJ began ignoring Sizhui too. I remember there was a part where he confronted LWJ about not meeting LSZ at the gates.

FOUND! Does anyone even read work titles? idk what to call this by Nighttdust (M, 14k, WangXian, Curses, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, though not to much, Both get hurt both get comforted, Established Relationship, Post-Canon, Happy Ending, Protective WWX, Insecurity, a bit only)

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16. Heyy how are you feeling ???

I’ve been looking for this fic where nhs and wq secretly make wwx and lwj meet each other and wei ying over hear it and leave. (He is also loaded because he invented the tiger seal : a security system when he was working / in a summer camp with nmj) also he pretend to be someone named mxy to talk to jc and fix the problem they have. They are also some musicals references like wwx singing defying gravity and playing the flute with lwj (and also the piano alone)

But I’m scared these could be two different fics please help 🙇🏼‍♀️✨✨ @ihaveasoftspotfora-yuan​

FOUND! Come Around and Stay by trippednfell (M, 160k, wangxian, modern, slow burn, kid fic, found family, it gets worse before it gets better, PTSD, blood and injury, dissociation, trauma, angst w happy ending, musicals, alternating pov, JC & WWX reconciliation, hurt/comfort, panic attacks) it's all in the same fic, the scene described with NHS and WQ happens in chapter 9

NOT FOUND! Tempo Rubato by Spodumene (E, 107k, WangXian, Modern AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Romance, Persuasion au, Separations, Mutual Pining, Depression, Miscommunication, Emotional Roller Coaster, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Reconciliation, Eventual Smut, Jane Austen Fusion, Underage Kissing) the tiger seal security and musical part reminds me of tempo rubato. i wasn't sure this was the fic since the other parts doesn't match, but since u mentioned u might have mixed up different fics, i might as well put this here

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17. I'm looking for a fic where the night after Wei Ying tries to run away and is brought back by the Jiang children, someone (either Madam Yu or the Head Disciple) mentions they'll need to talk to the night watch, because 'three children shouldn't be able to slip away at separate times without being noticed' (Not quite a direct quote but alpng those lines.)

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18. Hi, I'm looking for a fic where Wei Ying has amnesia and thinks hes a ghost who haunts lotus pier and is really out of it and convinced hes dead. Good ending, just cant find it. @quxxnrandonmness27

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19. I am looking for a fic for a while. It would be really great if you are able to find it. There was a scene where a a baby Lan sect disciple challenges LWJ for a duel to marry WWX. It was an adorable scene where the lan child confuses WWX platonic cheek kiss and concludes that he has to fight for his Wei-qianbei’s honour (even though he is intimidated by Hanguang-jun). Thank you in advance!!

Hello it’s the requester for no. 19 from the recent fic finder. Thank you so much for the quick response. The fic you found was really similar to the one I was looking for and I enjoyed it. Although it was not the fic I had in mind(I guess it is a scene from a larger work or it may be deleted). But, nevertheless I really a thankful for the mods and others who are so enthusiastic and helpful!!! I hope you have a great day!!

not FOUND A Small Love by JTHM_Michi (G, 1k, wangxian, puppy love, teacher WWX)

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20. Hi can you help me find a wangxian fic.

All I remember that they are fact together.. and wei ying want to have a work shop in the lan area. And wangji said with Me and in my arm sleeve. Like big empty place.. for wei ying to be at and I also remember wangji put his head into to it to make sure it was safe for wei ying. . @sadritsuka12​

FOUND! My heart in my sleeve by exmanhater (G, 2k, WangXian, Crack, Qiankun Sleeves, Sleeve Husband, LWJ’s Fondest Dream, Let LWJ Spoil His Husband, Post-Canon)

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[sirfrogsworth]

In home theater forums there is this initialism "WAF". It stands for Wife Acceptance Factor. And it makes me cringe whenever I see it.

Basically, they complain they can't get certain speakers or equipment because their wife will not approve or give them permission. Sometimes because of aesthetics, but it can also be due to price or overwhelming loudness.

Sometimes they will be super blatant and start threads like "I have a MAJOR WAF problem. Any speaker suggestions for my buzzkill wife?"

Can't imagine why home theater continues to be a huge sausage fest.

I do think significant others need to make compromises when sharing the same space. That makes sense. But I also think this WAF thing is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Home theater comes with a lot of male gatekeeping and sexism. I see so many men saying it is too complicated for women. And that women would never be interested. "They don't care about this stuff."

They don't even attempt to share their hobby with their wives. She doesn't like the subwoofers vibrating her organs? It's very easy to create multiple configurations and calibrate a home theater for different listening preferences. You could totally blow your wife's mind with an audio experience that doesn't shift her liver to the other side of her abdomen.

But if I had an SO and I was seriously into a hobby, I would really want to try and include her in my passion. And I would hope she would feel the same about her hobbies. I'm not saying she would have to know why you crossover speakers at 80 Hz for the subwoofer. But I would definitely want her to understand why I love the thing I love.

I mean, I already do this with my best friends. They let me ramble on about technology and computers and speakers. But I also learned about D&D so I could understand Delling's grand adventures. And if I weren't already an artist, I would totally learn about art for Katrina.

And I'm also not sure I could be with someone who would limit me in my hobby. I'd want someone who would help me figure out how to create my own space where I can do what I want or find some solution that doesn't come down to her rejecting a speaker because it doesn't match the carpet.

I don't know.

If it were me, I would not approach it like "Can I have permission to get this thing?" and I would be like, "Can I show you why this thing is cool?"

If these guys dropped this macho gatekeepy behavior, maybe there wouldn't need to be a term for WAF.

But also... if they are spending grocery money on an amplifier or dipping into their kid's college fund for Atmos speakers, that isn't WAF.

That is called... a red flag.

Also also, loud things have volume knobs. If you can't explain that concept to your spouse, you don't deserve the loud thing.

[warriorcatsofficialfacts]

I read some Warrior cats books when I was significantly younger, but stopped reading a while ago. I remember the books being seperated into their own little mini-series (idk its been ages and I read them in German dont @ me) about specific characters that were connected in a continual narrative. Which one of these is a good point to start reading again/get into it? I've been getting more curious about Warrior Cats lately, and someone who named their blog warriorcatsofficialfacts seems like the right person to ask this. Or maybe I should just read them from the beginning and am being a huge dingus idk.

alright so. fair warning. these books aren't Great

but with that in mind.

the "mini series" you are thinking of are called arcs, they're all 6 books long

every arc involves characters from other arcs, aside from two, but they are mostly self contained.

the only true exceptions, to my knowledge, is that you must read the power of three (po3) before omen of the stars (oots) and you must read the broken code (tbc) before a starless clan (asc) if you want to understand what's happening

the new prophecy (tnp), power of three (po3), a vision of shadows (avos), and the broken code (tbc) all contain context and characters from the series that comes before them, but are their own self contained stories. i've been told tbc is the best arc in the series

the only two arcs that are entirely self contained are the prophecies begin (tpb), and dawn of the clans (dotc). the prophecies begin is the first arc ever, and dawn of the clans is a prequel series

dawn of the clans can be read at any point

there are also "super editions" which are basically really long books that contain content outside of the main books.

to my knowledge, the ideal reading path for warrior cats is

the prophecies begin -> firestars quest (a super edition) -> the new prophecy -> power of three -> omen of the stars -> dovewings silence (this is a novella, basically it's just a really short book sold with three others) -> the first half of a vision of shadows -> tigerhearts shadow (super edition) -> the second half of a vision of shadows -> squirrelflight's hope (super edition) if you feel like it -> the broken code -> a starless clan

dawn of the clans is entirely self contained so read it whenever but it's pretty good

[flower1622]

"The Goddess not so ordinary"

(Chapter 1)

A long time ago, the daughter of Zeus and Hera was born: Selena. She had dark hair and brown eyes. All the gods were gathered on Olympus to celebrate her birth. Together they gifted her a portion of their powers each. Well, they knew that the chance of the hero of the prophecy to turn against them was very big. They needed a savior. Everyone was happy, except for a specific person. 

After Aphrodite, Éris was considered the most beautiful goddess, with her dark hair, white skin and light eyes. She looks exactly like another version of Snow White, but more cruel. Éris has the power to seduce people and manipulate their minds. She can't understand all this fascination towards the new baby. 

I don't know what they see on that stupid baby - Eris thinks. She watches the other gods admiring the baby while it giggles at the center of Olympus.

- Well, I want to thank you all, especially Hades, for coming here to celebrate this special day.Selena will be a hope to us in the future. My daughter is very special. She will be the goddess of the moon, a light in the darkness - Zeus declares.

- Well, even though we have our problems, Selena is still my niece. And, for the first time, I can agree with you brother. There is something about her that connects me with - Hades says.

- She may have been born just now, but I already want to protect her with my life - Ilithia says.

- Selena is so chubby and cute! She may make mistakes in the future, but will neve be swayed to the dark side or fight us. I can see that her love is more powerful than anything - Aphrodite completes.

- Are you guys fucking serious?! - Eris yells. 

Everyone is looking confused at Eris now. The only ones who didn' t like the tone of her voice were the big three, Hera, Ilithia and Athena.

- Language Eris! I won't accept this behavior during your sister's birth - Zeus yells furious.

- What is so damn special about her? Have you ever thought that, just maybe, we are making a mistake here? Giving our powers to someone that could easily hurt us. I'm telling you guys! This disgusting creature is dangerous! - Eris says pointing to "the thing" , who is also looking at her confused.

- How dare you say that, witch? First of all, Selena is not disgusting much less a creature. What is the problem saying baby? She is just a baby! And second, don't you ever try anything with her or I promise you Eris, that Tartarus will look like a paradise to what I would do to you - Ilithia says angry.

- Silence! - Zeus orders

- No, I won't! You are all fools! I'm the only one here who isn't blind. Just don't run after me apologizing when everything goes to Hell. It'll be already too late - Eris says while standing up from her throne and walking away.

Everyone was shocked by Eris' reaction. Usually she can control herself. They are worried about her outburst and wondering what may have caused it.

- That was an awesome meeting! - Hephaestus says happy.

- Indeed it was! - Ares laughs

- Now, I think the underworld doesn't seem so bad after all - Hades contemplates while the others were staring at them, with not so much friendly faces. 

Eris

(Before her transformation by Hecate)