#i know I KNOW it's not worth it bc there's literally only downsides and i was like a ghost of myself

[omarfor-orchestra]

.

[f1byjessie]

HE LIKES MY AMERICAN SMILE ━━ OP81.

love is a wild ride, and logan sargeant's sister is about to find this out the hard way.

( oscar piastri x sargeant!reader )

━━ part seven.

INSTAGRAM.

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yourusername had to take these pictures myself bc apparently angles are “too hard”

view all 1,972 comments

landonorris maybe you should’ve just asked me 🙄

↳ yourusername as much as i love your results you turn what should be a quick 5 mins into a 20 min photoshoot

↳ landonorris yes and?? i’m not seeing what the downside is 🤨

user HOW MANY LETTERS IN SARGEANT???

user literally who needs boys when girls like y/n exist

↳ user REAL

logansargeant i know about angles

↳ yourusername yes logie and your future girlfriends will thank me for it 🫶

user that dress is stunning and i want it but i know it costs more than a month’s worth of my pay 🥲🥲🥲

user ferrari spotted = y/n for ferrari 2024

↳ user get that girl in a formula car and leT HER DRIVE

oscarpiastri in my defense your heels make you as tall as me 🫤

↳ yourusername methinks it’s just bc you only know how to take one type of picture and it’s the awkward dad kind 🫤

user OSCAR??? HAS OUR HUSBAND RETURNED FROM THE WAR???

↳ user mama y papa

user OP81 IS BACK IN THESE COMMENTS WAR IS OVER

With Oscar by your side, time passes quickly. You don’t bring up that the first night you shared a bed, you’d woken up in the morning with his arm wrapped around your waist and his breath tickling the back of your neck, and you certainly don’t mention that he’d practically whined in his sleep when you’d slipped out of his grasp. It doesn’t happen again, but there’s a part of you hoping that it does.

The days blend together into a haze of happiness, laughter, and exploring the beauty of Monaco. Lando shows you the best spots— a garden just off the Monte Carlo marina, a famous nightclub that takes your breath away, and a small cafe at the edge of the city that overlooks it all.

Things are good, great even, but you can’t help but feel like there’s still some distance between you and Oscar despite his reassurance that everything is fine.

When New Year’s Eve— and subsequently your birthday— arrives, you’re awoken to a flurry of texts. Your parents have both sent sweet messages wishing you the best, Sophia has left a voice message with sounds of traffic in the background telling you she’s planning to get wasted and if you do too then you can just pretend you’re wasted together, and Dalton has made a group chat with you and Logan and has spammed you both with pictures of yourselves from across the years.

Oscar’s already gone, and his side of the bed is cold, so you take your time responding to them all and then shoot off a message of your own to Logan before getting up. It’s your first time not celebrating with your brother, and it feels strange knowing that you won’t get to see him today, but you’re excited nonetheless for the plans Lando and the other drivers in Monaco have organized for New Year’s Eve.

The day passes by lazily. Lando and Oscar both greet you with birthday wishes when you make your way down to the living room and then they present to you a feast for breakfast, which you realize is the reason Oscar was awake so much earlier than you. It’s the best breakfast you’ve ever had, mostly because they make fools of themselves retelling how many times they had to scrap the failed waffles until they got it right. You spend lunch at a place close by, joined by Alex and Lily who have flown in for the New Year, and then the rest of the afternoon you wait around at Lando’s place passing the time watching the boys play games on the TV and helping either of them cheat when asked.

You’re happy.

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tagged: yourusername

logansargeant people say twins are like built-in best friends, and if that’s the case then i’m glad i got you as mine. i can’t imagine having anyone else stick by my side throughout all the crazy and wild shit we’ve been through in our lives. it feels like just yesterday we were 13 and acting as each other's lifelines in a place we barely knew, and now we’re 23 and somehow doing the same thing. you’re my best friend forever.

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yourusername love you to the moon and back again logie 🫶 (but omg these pictures are so OLD)

↳ logansargeant love you to the stars and beyond 🫶 (yea well when else am i gonna post them?)

user i thought the only reason i’d be crying today is bc i don’t have a nye kiss but here we are aND THE BABY HANDS OMG

user I CAN’T DO THIS 😭😭😭

user sobbing over a birthday post was not on my 2023 bingo but i’ll be sure to add it to 2024 if this is gonna be a yearly thing

↳ user birthdays are a yearly thing so yea 💀

user i can’t stop thinking about the fact that each other was all they had when logan pursued racing in europe and now logan’s made it to f1 and they’re still all they have 😭

↳ user the sargeant twins are genuinely gonna be the death of me one of these days

user Y/N HAS BEEN THERE FOR HIM SINCE THE BEGINNING OMG

williamsracing Happiest of birthdays to Y/N! We look forward to seeing you out on the paddock more in 2024, and can’t wait to see what the new year has in store for you! 💙

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tagged: logansargeant

yourusername 23 + 23 = 46. 4 + 6 = 10. 10 - 2 = 8 and that’s what we’ve done for the last 23 years 😎 but real talk, i’m genuinely so honored to get to be your sister, and to share so much with you. when you win i share that joy, and when you lose i share that grief, and even though we’re an ocean away, i’m with you today and always for the rest of our lives. you’re my best friend, and even if i don’t have anything or anyone else, i know i have you and that makes me the luckiest girl in the world ❤️.

view all 934 comments

user ATE ATE ATE

logansargeant went through all the stages of grief as i read that caption

↳ yourusername i do try

↳ logansargeant i know

user HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARGEANT TWINS

user these pictures of logan are SENDING ME

↳ user y/n always feeds the ppl the low qual pics

alex_albon adding these to my folder of embarrassing pictures to blackmail logan with

↳ yourusername happy doing business with you sir 🤝

user SCREAMING CRYING SOBBING

user my mental health is dependent on the friendship between y/n and logan and it is STRUGGLING today lads

user can’t wait to see more of them in 2024!!

Lando finds you as you’re getting ready, putting the final touches on your makeup. He enters when you tell him to, and then leans against the bathroom counter for a moment just staring at you before you quirk an eyebrow at him.

“How are things going between you and Oscar?”

You lower the mascara wand and shrug, “I mean, it’s good.”

“But?” He prompts.

“But I feel like he’s still… being weird?” You slip the wand back into the mascara tube and then tuck it back into your bag. “I don’t know. Maybe we were a bit too realistic with the whole ‘making him jealous’ thing, and now he believes you’ve stuck your claim and he’s distancing himself because he doesn’t want to step on your toes or something.”

Lando snorts, “As if. I made him share a room with you, how does that in any way imply that I’m trying to stake my claim on you?”

You run a hand through your hair because you can’t run it down your face without ruining your freshly done makeup, and heave a sigh. “Then maybe he just isn’t actually interested in me at all, and I was right about him wanting to pretend the kiss never happened.”

He hums, then nods once, twice, a third time, and finally leaves the bathroom without another word.

When you finally follow him down, a number of people have already arrived— Alex and Lily are among them, and you greet them again with smiles and hugs. You’re introduced to Max Fewtrell, one of Lando’s close friends, and then you’re dragged away by Lily to hang out in the corner of the living room as the house begins to fill with current and former drivers alike.

“It’s a sausage fest,” she jokes, and you laugh beside her.

You both make conversation for a while, catching up on her and Alex’s holiday spent in California with her family and then talking about your own in Florida with yours. She asks how Logan’s doing, and you tell her that he’s well, but he’s really motivated and wants the chance to prove himself in the 2024 season already.

“I think the online discourse about whether or not he deserved a seat got to him a bit,” you admit. “But I know he can show them that there’s a reason he was chosen.”

Lily nods. “Me and Alex have faith in him too. It was his rookie year and he was in a Williams of all things. Like you said, there was a reason he was chosen, he just needs the opportunity to show the world that.”

You jump from topic to topic for a little while longer, until you excuse yourself to go find where Lando and Oscar have run off to. The guests have all arrived from the looks of it, and while a number of them all know each other already and have split off into groups to stay entertained, you’re not sure exactly how you’re meant to handle things on your own when it isn’t even your house—

“I mean, it’s fine, yeah? It’s just awkward with her, I guess.” You pause. The door to you and Oscar’s shared room is ajar and Oscar’s voice is just barely audible over the sound of music and chatter filtering up from downstairs.

“Why d’you say that? It’s just Y/N.” Lando’s voice follows.

You press yourself up against the wall, heart pounding in your chest at the sound of your name. You can’t see anything, and that almost makes it worse— imagining what their faces look like as they talk about you.

“Just that it’s weird sleeping next to her, and I feel like I’m always having to walk on glass around her. I’m trying to make things normal again, but I don’t think I can. I don’t know how I’m supposed to keep being friends with her. How can I look her in the face, knowing what happened?”

You can physically feel the dread settle into your stomach. Your heart clenches painfully in your chest and it’s like your blood has turned to ice in your veins. Your face feels warm, but the rest of your body feels cold, and suddenly it’s as though your ribcage has become too small for your lungs.

As quietly as you can, you scurry away from the door, across the distance of the hallway, and then down the stairs. Instead of turning into the living room where everyone else has gathered, their laughter and conversations a jumbled bubble of noise that makes your chest feel even tighter, you leave through the front door just as you feel tears begin to fall.

It’s worrying how frequently this has become an occurrence for you— crying because of Oscar.

━━ tags: @f1-is-lovely-33 @chasing-liberosis @405rry @aquangxl @bellezaycafe @peqch-pie @formulaal @chonkybonky @mess-is-my-aesthetic @flippingmyshit @peachiicherries @spacegirlstuff @myxticmoon @landosgirlxoxo @k-pevensie28 @moonypixel

━━ a/n: ahhhh i'm sorry i cannot let them be happy!! also, wrote this really fast and struggled a bit because i genuinely couldn't decide if it was just too fast paced or not, so i apologize if it seems rushed or if there are any mistakes editing wise that i missed!

[watermelonsugacry]

So yk how h has been posting accidentally to his public ig story instead of his close friends? One day he post some really cute picture of wifey and he adds all the cute stickers he uses and he erases it like rq. it’s like omg he posted her accidentally BUTTT the kicker is that he also captioned it something like cute and dumb like “happy wife, happy life” and exposed tf out of them lolllll bcs he is sooooo the type to say that anyway loves u

Oh my gosh I like this better than my original idea

So this is the post he makes on his Instagram story that’s supposed to go on his close friends story but then quickly deletes it.

And every social media platform is going crazy over what was only up for 18 seconds.

GUYS DID THAT JUST SAY WHAT I THINK IT SAID???

THE RING!!!!

WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN??

GUYS I DONT THINK THIS WAS A JOKE

THEY'RE FINALLY MARRIED?!!

HOW LONG AGO DID THEY DO THIS?

Aside from the obvious downside of Harry's fuck up, they actually had a plan on officially announcing their new marital status after their one-month anniversary... which was the next day.

(Here's their wedding chapter: Forevermore)

liked by harrystyles, prettypenny, and 7,879,203 others

yourinstagram 12/26 happy one month anniversary 💍❤

View all 98,786 comments

gemmastyles my sister!! ❤

annetwist my beautiful daughter-in-law

lizzobeeating A-YO!! so beautiful MRS STYLES

pillowpersonpp you looked so beautiful that day! ❤❤now mitch and I can call you hubby and wifey for real now

ynfan3 NOO WAY

ynfan2 I CANNOT HANDLE THIS RIGHT NOW

ynrryfan7 we finally got their anniversary date!

harryfan1 the way that twitter is blowing up right now

liked by yourinstagram, annetwist, and 7,675,236 others

harrystyles 12/26 finally married my best friend 💍❤

View all 764 comments

yourinstagram took you long enough

↳harrystyles I was waiting on YOU...but it was well worth the wait

↳jefezoff hey h, what happened to 'happy wife, happy life?' 😂

ynfan3 their bickering is so cute!

ynfan2 GUYS THIS IS REAL!!!

harryfan1 i've been manifesting this day for so long!

liked by annetwist, prettypenny, and 879,203 others

gemmastyles you guys were made for each other ❤

View all 798 comments

ynfan3 they're so IN LOVE 🥹

ynfan2 I NEED SOMEONE TO LOOK AT ME THE WAY HARRY IS LOOKING AT YN

harryfan6 it's rumored that they did a backyard wedding!

ynrryfan8 small wedding choice is so them

liked by yourinstagram, harryfan1, and 969,764 others

louis91 welcome to the family @harrystyles

(for all the times I've caught your asses kissing in the hallways)

View all 764 comments

yourinstagram mind yeh business lou

ynfan3 WAIT TELL US ABOUT THESE TIMES

ynfan2 literally half of 1d are now family

harryfan1 her and harry standing next to each other i can’t

liked by yourinstagram, harrystyles, and 979,783 others

niallhoran congrats to you both. love you guys 🥂

View all 231 comments

↳yourinstagram we love you more Nialler ❤

↳harrystyles thank you for being with us on our special day 🤍

harryfan1 NIALL WAS AT THEIR WEDDING AWWW

ynfan3 DID WE GET A 1D REUNION?? AND WE MISSED IT?

ynrryfan6 supposedly it was only Niall and Louis

liked by ynfan2, harryfan6, and 979,783 others

zayn it was only a matter of time

View all 764 comments

yourinstagram ❤❤

harryfan1 look at them!! so baby 😍

ynfan3 after 12 years they're finally married!!

ynrryfan6 they don't even know what lies ahead of them

liked by ynfan1, prettypenny, and 502,203 others

lottietomlinson @louis91 & @yourinstagram the second they saw each other

View all 472 comments

ynfan4 I LOVE THEM

ynfan3 they're such siblings oh my gosh

harryfan1 they're five years old and i love it

liked by ynfan9, ynrryfan3, and 532,203 others

harryflorals more of Niall and Louis at YN and Harry's wedding!

View all 764 comments

harrfan6 i still can't wrap my head around what's going on

ynfan3 NOUIS!!

ynfan2 their brothers were there for their special day!!!!

harryfan2 i bet they both cried

liked by ynfan9, harryfan2, and 86,912 others

ynupdates Liam just posted this on his Instagram story!

View all 321 comments

harryfan1 THEY WERE SO LITTLE

ynfan3 fetus ynrry!!

ynfan2 wait was he not at their wedding?

↳harryfan4 why do i get the feeling that that was on him 🤔

liked by ynfan1, prettypenny, and 58,361 others

ynrry_updates YN's stepmum posted the first pic and then she reposted Mitch & Sarah's post on her Instagram story!!

View all 165 comments

ynfan6 stop this is so cute

harryfan4 harry's a lucky guy

ynfan3 the MR & MRS STYLES?!!

harryfan5 she looks so beautiful!!

.

.

SINCE 2010 masterlist

I write for free so if any of you lovies would like to help a college girl out and buy her a ko-fi i would greatly appreciate it :) 💚

taglist:

@wobblymug @be-with-me-so-happily @ashtongivesmebutterflies @kiwiskiwiskiwi @darlingdesire @obsesseddd @hopefulwastelandcreation @cacapeepee @breezie-b00 @harrysfolklore @theekyliepage @sunshinemoonsposts @nervousspiderling @tbslonelyhes @tenaciousperfectionunknown @harrystylesrecs @certified-nalayak @itsjustsel @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @gviosca @behindmygreyeyes @twobluejeans @allisonxmcu @theemeraldbutterfly @jean-love @marvellover-sam @b-reads-things @reveriehs @rach2602 @thurhomish @perrypughstyles @luvonstyles @mxltifxnd0m @teamspideyman @c00chiemonster @juiceboxrry @s8tellite @folklorehrry @illicithallways @claramllera @eunoiaax @hoya122 @nichmedder @sleutherclaw @gloriousmoneyrascalbiscuit @harianaswhore @teawithcyb0rgs @vrittivsanghavi @vc55bughead @futuristiccroissantlampsludge @onecrazydirectioner @valluvsu @itsgabbysblog @awkwardbisexuall @rosehel @sucker4angstt @isalove @diorchives @mrshiddlestyles02 @fdl305

[heliianth]

Raises my hand I wanna hear about the au!! Here's some prompts to talk about for it if you want

1. Any thoughts about how killugon's familiar pact works?

2. What's killugon's magic like respectively?

3. What is Alluka and Nanika up too?

(No pressure to answer all of these but ur au just seems so cool!)

YAY ok hello hi ok

stuff is below the cut because i YAPPED sorry lol this is a biiig wall of text.

forewarning some of the Lore™ is kind of fucked but its pretty in line with some of the shit that already happens in hxh anyway so just. expect that ;;^-^

1—

Killua and Gon's familiar pact is weird and its a bit hard to explain so hang on with me here bc first i gotta explain what a normal familiar pact is like

witches can make deals with sentient magical entities—often minor spirits that take the form of animals—in exchange for power. it acts as a symbiotic relationship, though with some downsides. their life forces are linked together along with some other more case-specific caveats. it's for this reason that familiar pacts are pretty rare because generally magic entities don't want to suddenly become mortal like that, it's usually not worth it. but anyway. after both agree, they will collaborate to summon a magic object as proof and confirmation of the pact. usually it's something small like earrings or whatever, but magic users can always tell if something is a familiar object or not. they have capital-v Vibes. you can have a pact without a familiar object, but its a bad idea because the power boost can fuck you up; they act as, like, a filtration system where you only get what the deal says you get with none of the really really ugly side effects of a mortal using a spirit's power. trying to non-consensually break the pact by destroying the object voids the deal but also completely severs both parties' connections with magic (similar to how breaking a nen vow in canon has the potential to nukes your ability to use nen). a witch and their familiar can safely break the pact, but it has to be a mutual decision, and even then some drain in magic is likely

so... why is killugon's weird? bc the Zoldycks are weird.

Kukuroo Mountain sits on top of a magic wellspring (like a hotspot for natural magic) which allows the Zoldycks to do all sorts of fuckshit that wouldn't otherwise be possible, and that includes their dummy unethical family necromancy ritual that merges a benign spirit with a human in the seconds before your soul disappears after death, artificially creating a demon (demons basically being what humans call fucked up scary spirits. its not exactly what this ritual turns someone into, but there's no vocabulary for it because its so rare outside of the Zoldycks). it's sort of like a nasty perversion of the familiar pact ritual because it involves magic power between an entity and a mortal, but it kills the spirit involved instead of creating a bond. the resulting "familiar object" is called a Demon Pearl. Demon Pearls resemble gemstones and magic users generally think they're a manifestation of the human and spirit merging, like how lightning striking sand creates glass. unlike a regular familiar object, if a Demon Pearl breaks, the owner will just outright die. for future reference, this whole thing is colloquially referred to as an assimilation ritual.

as an aside: Killua's design is inspired by nekomata—cat yōkai that are sometimes described as being abused domestic cats that return from the dead(?) in order to enact revenge. so :3c

to get back on track: if a familiar pact is a symbiotic relationship between a witch and a spirit, Zoldycks are like little magic parasites that literally want to eat you. they actually have to eat you in order to keep existing, because they don't have their own magic to sustain themselves like "real" naturally formed spirits or demons do. and they extract that magic via . cannibalism. i guess its not cannibalism if they're not human anymore? u know what im talking about.

(as clarification: this ritual isn't like, monopolized by the Zoldycks, but it's also not common knowledge. it's highly illegal and difficult. not to mention immoral lol. they're just the only ones who have the resources, amassed skill, and gall to do it so frequently and openly as a family right of passage thing)

all that is to say the Zoldycks are technically magic entities that can make familiar pacts, but theyre bad at it and it would be a bad idea even if they werent. Killua by all means should not have one. but killugon do not give a shit about what they should and shouldn't do. that's like their whole MO

so Gon and Killua's familiar pact works because:

a) like in canon, Gon is kind of a bottomless pit of potential. his connection with magic runs really deep and his specific practice means he's less likely to "burn" through his magic than other witches—talk about it more when i answer ur 2nd question :3

b) their familiar object is Killua's Demon Pearl (a huge "fuck you" by having the object representing him and Gon's bond be something that actually can't be destroyed unless they want to kill him lol), meaning that it doesn't act as a filtration device so much as a straight up transfer. so Killua doesn't have to eat Gon to mooch off him at 100% effectiveness, but that does mean they're at risk of unbalancing each other. that's where the next part comes in

c) Killua actually has magic binds etched on him by his family. similar to Illumi's needle, it's supposed to be a safeguard against Killua getting into a deadly situation where he uses too much magic without a food source and starves to death, but it also makes him less likely to negatively effect Gon through their pact

as for the actual deal that lead to their familiar pact... "Let's stay together [forever]!" Gon likes calling it a promise instead of a deal because it feels less transactional. & yes that little blue necklace he wears is Killua's Demon Pearl. usually it's tucked under his shirt so people don't notice tho lol

2—

Gon does a branch of magical art called green alchemy!!! I don't have hard and fast rules for it yet as I kind of want magic itself to be wishy-washy and dependent on the user's own creativity in the same way Nen is and also because i feel like a type of magic that lets Gon go off the rails is where he'd best fit. so i don't have a strict definition of what "green alchemy" is yet beyond what the name implies, but the most basic application is physically turning parts of nature into other parts of nature. i want to make it a very material-based way to use magic so it forces Gon into being resourceful, and his aptitude with it is informed by his childhood spent in the woods learning the rules of nature before he uses magic to bend them. like grabbing a fist full of dirt and squeezing it hard enough to turn it into a really dense stone, or doing the reverse and causing a giant boulder to crumble into soil. it gets wackier when you add your own magic into the mix, and you can do thinks like speeding up natural processes; causing vegetation to combust, rapidly growing plants, etc. things like that

Killua is like. his main thing is that hes a little creature with sharp teefs and sharp claws. the assimilation ritual the Zoldycks did with him involved a lightning spirit, so he does have his lightning too, but using it is problematic because of those aforementioned binds he has on him and the whole. cannibalism thing. if he went sparky too often he'd have to eat something or someone in order to maintain equilibrium with Gon. so using his electricity kind of necessitates escalating a fight into a lethal situation in order for immediate food and he has to treat it like that

3—

ok so this question kind of calls me out bc i dont have a "plot" for this au yet. its really just a bunch of worldbuilding and AMVs i imagine while listening to songs lol. so what Alluka and Nanika are doing is probably similar to what they do at the beginning of canon. which is sitting in their vault </3 i dunno. maybe i will brainstorm something different!

but!!! i can tell you what their schtick is

Alluka is a case of the traditional Zoldyck assimilation ritual going real bad. so bad, actually, that it scares them into adjusting the process for Kalluto

i want to give another warning for like. everything that has to do with a necromancy spell involving small children. i felt sort of evil explaining all this

so. the ritual has the subject dying in a fairly instantaneous fashion so that the amount of time the human soul lingers is greater than if you... like... slowly bled to death. out of necessity to avoid complications, the kids kind of have to do it themselves :( obviously that requires they be trained beforehand for it. the age at which Zoldycks go through the ritual varies based on when they pass that hurdle, but it's usually 4-5. they like doing it ASAP because younger children generally deal with the whole merging with a spirit thing easier than adults. but Alluka just. never gets there. to no fault of her own... she just doesn't. and the Zoldycks smack face-first into the very real possibility that they're going to run out of time waiting for her to pass this training, and resort to going "you know what, training schmaining. you're doing it anyway. up you go"

this was NOT a good idea. turns out that the high success rate of their ritual not only has to do with age, but also the kids, you know, being prepared and willing. Alluka is decidedly not. she is scared out of her mind, and doesn't... do it properly. so when it's time to merge, she's still alive.

instead of the ritual doing what it's supposed to (hijacking a spirit's magic to shove someone's soul back into their corpse and merging the two in the process), they lose control over the spirit causes it to come into direct competition with the mortal soul. and when the contest is between a human child and Nanika—a pretty powerful spirit associated with nighttime and stars (hence "wishing")—the outcome is not going to be in the kid's favor. they end up having to do a completely different spell just to keep Nanika from killing Alluka, and due in no small part to sheer luck, the two get to tentatively coexist in the same body

Alluka has a worse time sharing with Nanika than she does in canon. Nanika is more volatile because it's kind of hard to forget what the Zoldycks did to her. she does not like them. even Killua is on thin ice until he makes up for it by being a sweetheart. but Nanika's attitude means Alluka has a lot of those magic bindings on her restricting what she and Nanika can do. this causes her to have a more difficult time adjusting to the way her body looks as a demon vs. as a human, she's less equipped to handle even just being around a lot of active magic (she doesn't have a strong connection to it), she's tired a lot of the time too. however, unlike the rest of her family, Nanika still being alive instead of merged with her makes it so she doesn't have to eat people. she behaves more like a "real" spirit/demon. so thats a W i guess

AND thats all. WAUGH it was really fun finally getting to share all these ideaasss with someone thank u for asking :D !!!! and sorry for the essay again lol

[bonesandthebees]

I can’t believe I went to bed and missed the great return of Snowflake. Time zones are the bane of my existence (jk it’s trains, I love train rides, but I have so many train stories). Anyway, seeing Snowflake always makes me happy. I missed them. That’s the one downside to this entire anon system, we can!t just reach out to each other, we have to wait for someone to show up themselves (except for our honorary anon Icy, but they are always here).

Also, yeah STEM sucks. I did STEM in high school and I was so done with it by the end. Physics is the worst. The only redeemable thing about it is electricity (both of my grandfathers were electricians, it’s in my blood, it’s the only time I almost got a perfect grade on a test (I was .5 off)).

Fun fact: they almost made me take STEM as an elective this year and I hoped the fuck out of that because it’s always hell and way more work than it should be. (I now take a geography course, which I love).

I feel like I wanted to say something else, but it’s gone. So I’m going to end this ask here and see if it comes back later. I do really need to start my day.

Have a great day/night everyone!

-🌲

TIME ZONES ARE A BANE ESPECIALLY FOR YOU AND SNOWFLAKE YOU GUYS ARE BOTH IN SUPER INCONVENIENT TIME ZONES 😭

I do love seeing the dynamics you anons all have with each other bc it's so unique since like you said you can't reach out to each other directly, it's just through me like I'm a message board lol

i don't know how you could stand the electricity part of physics. that was literally what I hated the most. congrats to you for having it in your blood but electricity physics and electrochemistry both are the banes of my existence. I just do not understand electricity 😭😭

god yeah if you don't have to take a STEM class don't, it's always more work than it's worth. geography is fun though get good at geoguesser with it lmao

hope you're having a lovely evening spruce!!

[stinkrascal]

High anon-I have paid for sims since sims 1 and I currently play 4 and EA had the audacity to BAN my fucking account I’m so mad I didn’t do anything wrong or anything illegal or even morally wrong I’m so pissed. I know I know you know who I am already if you remember lol but omg I’m livid. I was even sick the day I found out I cried literally cried fuck EA. Everyone pirate the shit out of their game damn it. My literal OCD makes me have to buy every damn pack but I can’t now bc I’m banned fuckers piss me off ugh. I appealed it or whatever and they did at least let me do the latest update but can’t buy new shit. Probably can’t pirate w a banned account either so idk. I’m pissed. And sad. Sorry had to rant to someone lol I love you hope you’re having a better week than I am! Hugs! 💜❤️

hey hi anon, im so sorry to hear this, thats so fucking awful my heart aches for you :( i cant imagine how youre feeling right now, that just sounds so crushing. if they dont respond to your appeal and unban your account, i definitely recommend pirating the game instead - if you use anadius repack you don't need an ea account at all to play, there's a version of the crack which bypasses the need for an ea account altogether. the only downside is you can't use online features in-game, such as the gallery, but it's definitely worth it especially in this circumstance where ea's fucked you over for no reason. and ea won't be able to detect the cracked version of your game, since it won't be reliant on using the ea app/origins to function and the ea app isn't authorized to, like, look at the files on your computer. if you need help cracking the game let me know and i can help!! i'm really sorry to hear about this!! but thank you for sharing this with me, i hope venting made you feel even a little bit better. ily!! hugs!! <3

[asymmetryestablished]

I’m late as hell to the party and literally nobody asked but I’ve finally delivered. here is my Totally Very Official™

One Piece Film Red Song Ranking

from worst to best because tradition or something

I’m going off the original japanese versions, from the album rather than the movie because I feel like it. also that way I get to include Binks’ Brew which everyone knows is a banger

#8 (track 6) The World’s Continuation. this is a good song and I like it! it’s also the only song from Film Red whose melody I can’t consistently call to mind, which makes it by default the worst one. also when I’m listening to the album in the car it’s the one I have to skip because it puts me to sleep, which probably has something to do with why I can’t remember it, but listen, it doesn’t matter. it’s still a lovely song, if a little forgettable

#7 (track 8) BINKUSUNO SAKE. listen I love Binks’ Brew as much as the next pirate but it simply does not suit Ado’s studio-recorded voice as well as it suits drunken sing-alongs. really this just goes to show what bangers every other track on this album is bc from here on out the ratings are all super close

#6 (track 1) New Genesis. GOOD fuckin song. highly recommend starting your road trip with this. for maximum drama, try and time it so the drums kick in just as you hit the highway and step on the gas

#5 (track 2) I’m Invincible. errbody loves a villain song, right? also I would absolutely have ranked this below New Genesis if not for the week or so where it got stuck in my head like twelve times. New Genesis is great but New Genesis did not give me that level of earworm so clearly this track was doing something right

#4 (track 7) Where the Wind Blows. this song is fucking gorgeous and I love it. still gets stuck in my head regularly. the only reason it’s not ranked higher is because fucking look at what is, my dude, cut me some slack. 10/10 ballad, absolutely stellar, literally the only downside is that I can’t bop to it

#3 (track 4) Fleeting Lullaby. SPEAKING OF SONGS I CAN BOP TO. HOT DAMN. this song is so fucking weird and funky and energetic and insane and I love it. a musical fever dream. Uta is insane, Ado’s voice is insane, this song is a total banger

#2 (track 5) Tot Musica. YEAHHHHHHHH BABY. the first song I heard from Film Red, & the first thing that convinced me it’d be worth my time to actually watch the movie. everybody loves Tot Musica. it’s the eardrum-blowing-out song. also it was composed by Hiroyuki motherfucking Sawano which explains So Much. but yeah this song fucks so hard

#1 (track 3) Backlight. listen. LISTEN. Tot Musica may hold a very special place in my heart, and I do love the drama, but I will ALWAYS be a slut for a good rock number. also the whole second verse (which they cut out of the movie for whatever reason) is about being obsessed with “red”. wonder who that could be. anyway this song was my fav even before I looked up the lyrics, it’s just such an absolute banger and I love it so much. the perfect mix of showy, yet singable, & funky, & angry as hell, & so many lines just scratch my brain itches so good, like the lyrics just sound good you know? good fuckin song

Final Thoughts: good songs, great album, literally better than the movie tbh. highly recommend buying it if you’re a CD-buying kinda guy, it’s available on Interscope Records’ website for only like $14USD or something like that

[horce-divorce]

OK I found something delta 8 is actually good for. So, when I'm having a REAL bad MALS flare, it hurts to be hungry as much as it hurts to eat. Like, my stomach growling literally causes so much pain that it makes me panic as much as eating does.

weed is the thing that gives me an appetite. the ONLY thing. my body doesn't produce a natural appetite anymore, just nausea and pain, thus why I can't eat w/o an appetite stimulant (cannabis). the munchies literally keep me alive.

except for when I'm already flaring, like right now. I've barely been able to eat solid food for a week, and even liquids hurt. Even breathing hurts. I'm so nauseous I can't even sit upright. I'm dizzy, my head is fuzzy, and im in a constant state of presyncope.

If I smoke weed right now, I will actually get so hungry it'll be counterproductive. Because right now, I'm not feeling my hunger. My body is starving, but as long as I don't smoke, I don't feel that hunger, and the hunger pangs don't start.

As soon as I smoke, a week's worth of near-starvation is going to hit me all at once, and my stomach will he ROARING with hunger, and it will hurt so bad and make me so nauseous just to breathe that I won't be able to get up and eat; instead, i panic from the level of utterly relentless pain im in, my HR spikes and i get an adrenaline dump bc my POTS already flares when my MALS does, and then I crash and pass out. I know because that's what happened last night, and countless times before.

So I've been avoiding weed today because I'm so hungry that I'm terrified to feel it. Which means I get no relief for my other symptoms either. (I'm aware that it's counterproductive not to eat, MALS is infuriating.)

But the thing is, d8 doesn't make me munchie the way weed does, it's part of why I don't like it. But one thing d8 does better than weed is nausea control. It does almost nothing else. I do get some level of cbd effect from it, but I need a thc-type component with it or it doesn't work. Most of the time d8 just makes me Not Nauseous and nothing else. There's like a smidgen of pain relief but not much.

But today, I REALLY needed the nausea and cbd effects without getting "high" or hungry, (I don't get high anymore but know. The other effects besides nausea control) and the d8 is actually helping a lot. Its rather gentle compared to weed, which normally I hate, but today it's perfect. It's not making me hungry, which is actually making it possible for me to walk around and like, drink my milkshake without it making my nausea worse, because my stomach isn't going "HOLTFUCKIGJSHIYIMSYARVINGFEEDMENOOWOWWWWWWWWW" and then not being able to handle it/instantly barfing it back up when I do.

The downside is that both of them make me cough, which is also incredibly painful right now, and edibles don't work for me, so most of those are out. If I can suck on it/dissolve it in my mouth, I'll get something out of it, but even then it takes 100s of mgs to get me to the dose I need, and most edibles only come in 100-200mg packs because for a rec user thats several doses.

And that's all a moot point rn anyway because we can't go to the dispo lmfao. We need to be back in Michigan for so many reasons. When I have consistent access to weed these episodes happen much less frequently, bc I can more consistently keep myself on solid food. Not always, but much more consistently. Would also be great if we had a home and like, a safe and sanitary kitchen we could use for our needs but I guess that's asking too much

[dex-starr]

I’m still a teeny bit baffled and pissed about being left while I was sick. Not because it was my time of need or whatever, babygirl I got me good on that. I’m not changing how I get through shit and I will get through this even if it’s from pure spite itself at the cards I’m dealt. I got it. I survive. It’s more so having to listen to my ex go on about how men leave their partners when they’re ill — I totally understand that and frown upon that. I don’t really want to ascribe to the label of man but I have to out of convenience, not desire but I understood your anger and insecurity at that happening. That’s the part that upset me, you told me you couldn’t handle it. Kept showing me posts about partners who made their “disease” their lives and were “holding themselves” back because of it. Like dude… I literally got diagnosed with my physical illnesses not even mere months ago at that time.

You know how long it took me to get that in check bc I went super militant about sticking around? A fucking year. I didn’t let that shit beat me and I grabbed it by the horns. You know what the difficult part was? Getting diagnosed with my mental illnesses that I clearly had and should’ve dealt with way before. That was more impactful bc I realized how it not only affected me — but it affected you. It affected our interactions. It made me think more about what I’m doing and how it could reflect or hurt you. I became triply conscientious on that and wanted to be a better person bc of it I just didn’t know how. Secondly I just didn’t have the right combo of pills because apparently my brain was just that shittily wired that it took away even the most basic of pleasures and happiness without me even noticing what the fuck was wrong!!!! My perception of things was really fucking off, I had a malnourished pleasure center. I couldn’t feel some touch — I didn’t get to feel the love overwhelm me always. God if I would’ve been able to actually feel things normally like I do now I’m a different person. I didn’t get complacent but I certainly became blind to things that were communicated to me clearly but most of the time in riddles. But I’m not even mad about that. I am just mad that I got such a hard time over something I would never do and even now I would still not do. Even with all the bullshit I have gone through, even with all the fucking stupid little mind games that I knew were happening at the time but I just took you at face value and thought you just meant well but didn’t know how to handle this yet — news flash I didn’t either. It was intense. Despite all that I still love you lol, I’m an idiot I know. Whatever dude, you do you. I know what I’m worth and what I bring even with my downsides.

[verytendou]

Once i find the motivation to actually write character studies it is OVER for my ao3 acc

[moemammon]

could i please request the obey me ! boyfies with an s/o who is like & chubby ? they get insecure about it (like being tall + chubby) and really are body-insecure to the point it’s like super frustrating too bc they want to express themselves through their outfits but absolutely hate clothes shopping and will break down bc of the amount of people, the clothing sizes, and being upset after trying things on... thank you so much!!

The Demon Bros react to a Body-Insecure GN!MC

(Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. This is something we hear all the time to the point that it almost feels dry and cliche. But! Just know that there's NOTHING wrong with the way you look, despite all the media we see centered around the world's idea of beauty. Beauty is subjective, and not eternal. Just be you. The best 'you' you can be!)

Lucifer

Do you REALLY think an age old demon would see anything wrong with what you look like? He's constantly surrounded by beauty, anyway, in the form of demons and angels alike

Besides, Luci isn't shallow enough to base his affections for you purely on how you look, so you don't even have to question that.

But he does recognize that you don't see yourself in the same like as he does, and he's so, so patient with you. After all, he can't have the love of his life doubting their self worth. The Avatar of Pride won't be having that.

Lucifer takes the time to tell you, everyday, what you mean to him. In the quiet moments when you two are alone, he'll guide your gaze to meet his own, and starts going down the list of the things that make you beautiful.

"To think you'd be self conscious about something like this.... Do you think I'd settle for anything less than perfection? Let me remind you again why I love every inch of you, MC."

Mammon

Taking up modeling gigs means Mammon's seen just about every body type under the sun, so do you seriously think he's that worried about the way you look?

He's a little slow to read the room, so it takes him a while to realize that you're self conscious. But when he tries taking you clothes shopping one day, and sees you're on the verge of tears after trying on two outfits, he gets the clue.

NOW he's being extra as hell in showing you how much he likes you. You start waking up to texts telling you how beautiful you are (with the obligatory threat that you'd better not show his brothers), he keeps putting his arm around you in public, and when he can muster up the courage, he'll even tell you in person how good you look in the outfit you're wearing.

He even starts sending you links to websites he visits to buy clothes. There's some good ones that have a wide range of customization options, and a pretty diverse size chart! It's not so bad if it's online, right?

"Anyone who's worthy of being around THE Great Mammon is worth a million grimm, understand? I don't really get all the fuss about yer body, but... I think ya look fine the way ya are. So smile a little more, alright?"

Levi

Levi can relate when it comes to body insecurities. He's a layabout, and the only exercise he gets is when he's forced to get it. He doesn't think he's much of a looker compared to his brothers, either.

So when you tell him how you feel about the way you look, he gathers up every ounce of otaku™️ strength to tell you that there's nothing wrong with your height, or weight.

He DEFINITELY values personality over looks, and even then it's not like he finds you unattractive. Seriously, he doesn't get your worries at all. Are you sure you can see properly..? They say staring at screens too long can mess up your eyesight, so maybe he should stop forcing you to watch so much tv with him?

And guess what? Levi can sew. Go ahead and bring him the clothes you wanna wear, and he'll get em fixed up for you! Or if you want something custom made, he's got you! Leave it to the master weeb and his endless cosplay knowledge! ✨

"L-Like in anime! It's boring to see the same body types all the time and it's nice when they change it up, s-so....Uh.... Anyway, I like everything about you, okay?! Your body is fine the way it is!"

Satan

According to his nerd calculations, you have no reason to be insecure.

Jokes aside, Satan listens to your concerns and handles them gently. No two people look alike and the world is full of different body types, so who's to decide what is and isn't beautiful?

As he sees it, you're healthy and happy, and isn't that all that matters? He can't take away your anxieties about shopping, but he CAN help you find things you would like to try out. He's pretty sure he has a book that teaches a spell for altering clothes in an instant....

Satan tends to think on the logical side of things, so you can trust that he isn't just saying nice things to spare your feelings. He means every word when he tells you how perfect you are in his eyes.

"Of the billions of people on earth, do you really think anyone can say what 'beauty' is? MC, you're perfect the way you are. Should I write a book about all the wonderful things I love about you?"

Asmo

If there's anyone who can appreciate all body types, it's Asmo. What can you expect from the Avatar of Lust, who's seen all there is to see? If anything, there's more for him to love~!

And his affection for your body isn't even entirely sexual. It's all about aesthetics! He loves every dip and curve of yours, from head to toe!

He knows you find it difficult to find clothes that suit you, so he's started having your clothes tailored. You're a little confused when he randomly starts taking your measurements one day-

Later, he returns to you with all those outfits you kept staring at a little too long, all tailored to your body type. Asmo has CONNECTIONS, baby. He's gonna make sure you find everything you could possibly want. He knows how crucial it is to express yourself through what you wear!

"Didn't I tell you you'd look great in that? I'm never wrong when it comes to fashion! And MC darling, you look as stunning as always! Ooh, I just love the way this accentuates your body~!"

Beel

Beel only has food on the brain, so he's the least likely to care for appearances. He loves you for your heart, because that's what matters the most to him. And when you're happy, he's happy!

He loves the look on your face when you smile at yourself in the mirror, and he wants to see that more often. So when you express your insecurities about your body, Beel has a plan of action in mind.

He hoists you up and settles you onto his bed, first grabbing your thighs, your hips, your torso, your arms, and ends all the touching by cupping your cheeks. His hands are warm with affection, and you could already feel yourself melting into his touch.

He looks you in the eye with that deadpan expression of his, pressing a soft kiss to your temple, and a potato chip to your lips.

"No matter how you look or what you wear, you're still the same MC that I love. Every part of you is just fine, so why do you worry so much about it? I'll remind you over and over if I have to."

Belphie

Um??? That means he has more to hold?? when you guys cuddle?? You're warm, you smell nice, and he loves you. Literally where is the downside to any of that???

Belphie takes your worries with a grain of salt, but he knows how insecure you are so he doesn't brush them off. He DOES however tell you that you're worrying yourself to death.

Also, do you really think a man that sleeps all the time is going to have washboard abs? Belphie definitely has a little chub here and there under those baggy ass clothes of his.

Speaking of clothes, he thinks you should just wear whatever makes you comfortable. You're wearing those clothes for yourself, aren't you? So just wear what you like.

"There you go again, talking badly about yourself. Geez.... I guess I'll just have to hold you in my arms until you realize how silly you're being. Come here."

[wildflowertips]

Hi! I was curious if you had anymore Kuroko fic recommendations? Thank you! 🥺💗

hey! 🥺 i do have more kuroko fanfic recs. i didnt know what type of kuroko ship you wanted, so here are a few from some kuroko ships <3:

Kagakuro Recommendations

the flower that blooms in adversity by aotetsu

When Kagami falls for Kuroko Tetsuya, a famous prostitute from the red light district, he manages to find a whole lot of trouble and a person worth it all.

this fic deserves more love and attention. kagami love for kuroko absolutely made me sob

Brothers in Woo by buttwade

in which Himuro jokingly offers to help Kagami win Kuroko over and the joke's on him

kagami is drunk & himuro cracks jokes. this fic is funny. jealous!kuroko

Beastly call by TCon

"You mean," Kuroko started. "You'd be my Heat Partner?" He didn't expect Kagami to explode into a myriad of different shades of red more impressive than his own hair. "Y — yeah tha's what I'm sayin'!" for some reasons he lapsed into english with an odd accent. KagaKuro Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics & Sex Pistols AU - Fusion

Lots of smut in the beginning. there’s crime, suspense, and i read this fic like 5 times.

Stamina Training by tnsxbunny

As the weakest member in the team, Kuroko stays back after basketball practice to train on his stamina. Kagami watches from afar and decides to show Kuroko what real stamina training is.

SMUT. SUCH GOOD SMUT. thank u

The advantage of being Kuroko by heartfilledteddybear

mayuzumi hits on Kuroko & Kagami gets jealous 🥵

Akakuro Recommendations

Forget me not flowers in our hair by miniaturepsycho

When Kagami is captured by a beast Kuroko doesn't think twice and bargains to take the red head's position instead but it seems that there is more to this castle than meets the eye, and what has it have to do with forget me not's?? Basically a beauty and the beast AU that I decided to do after seeing the live action (which I totally did not cry at, not at all!!) COMPLETE

Contains Aokaga. Akashi as beast & kuroko as belle. So good 🥺

All I ask by TsuruKuni

"It's none of your business." "Tell me, Aomine. How can it be none of my business when you're throwing away the only person I've ever wanted?"

THIS FIC MADE ME SOB AT 3 AM. I highly recommend listening to ‘All I ask’ by Adele. I promise you will cry. Aokuro & Akakuro.

Bridezilla by DancingMarshmallows

Weddings are stressful... try helping people plan them. With two months to get everything together, a bridezilla and her bitch of a maid of honor, and finding love at the worst time, Kuroko would be lucky if he makes it out alive.

CEO!Akashi & WEDDING PLANNER!kuroko. you will not regret reading this one.

That Ridiculously Long Dance by Harmonia_Silverberg

Aomine, Kise, and Kagami never learn, do they? But apparently their "joke" works in Akashi and Kuroko's favor this time.

literally one of my all time favorite akakuro fanfic

What Would Chihiro Do by anewtinystory

Akashi is dating Kuroko, whose two brothers are very protective of him.[Based on a Tumblr anon's prompt: Nijimura and Mayuzumi are Kuroko's brothers; while Nijimura approves of Akashi, Mayuzumi feels the opposite]

slight smut. protective bros. i love it sm.

Aokuro Recommendations

Traded Mistakes by Acetate, Chrystie, exuberant_imperfection, kate882, luckypen

For the prompt: Aomine having an accident and losing his memory so all he remembers is being best friends with Tetsu and he doesn’t understand how that could stop.

Angst, oh the angst 😫😭.

Third time’s a charm (or maybe fourth) by LajtHane

Aomine really didn't mean to crash into him at Quidditch practice.

HOGWARTS AU. if that doesn’t temp you, idk what will. My fav Aokuro fic.

Maybe a touch of your hand by skinandbones

[Written for AoKuroWeek 2015]: Aomine moves into a new apartment and befriends a ghost boy.

no bc this fic made me cry too. pls read it 🎶ifwehad5moreminutes🎶

The Boyfriend Jersey by exuberant_imperfection, kate882

Kuroko, in a half-asleep mistake, ends up wearing Aomine's jersey to school.

THIS FIC IS CUTE SUCH DORKS

Hey, Come Here Often? by imabignerd

In which Momoi holds his magazines hostage, Aomine hates everything and everyone, and Kuroko is politely bewildered.

Aomine crushes on the lifeguard!Kuroko & Momoi is a little shit about it 😌🤍

Midokuro Recommendations

It’s Always your Fault! by warsandwich

Kuroko and Midorima are secretly dating, but Takao finds out their secret. De-anon from the anon meme.

Short, sweet, & funny 😌.

Partnership by Fayah

Their partnership starts in English class, but like everything else in their lives, turns into a matter of basketball.

Midorima really cares for Kuroko 🥺

Midokuro Ficlet by pandacchii

based off of imagineyourotp blog post: "Imagine your otp confessing while they were half asleep" Pairing: Midorima/Kuroko

short story but it’s really cute ☺️

An Unexpected Alignment by cinnaelle

Midorima Shintarou does not expect such a reoccurring encounter. But the wheels of fate are turning and Akashi moves his shogi piece.

well-written i love it sm. deserves more praise

The Way You Come Undone by oshare_banchou

"Midorima Shintarou is completely silent during sex. And Kuroko, who is both fascinated and frustrated by this discovery, wonders just how much it would take to make him come undone." - Kuroko/Midorima, in that order

do i need to say more? 😫

Kikuro Recommendations

Careless Whisper by DarkWoods

When Kuroko is dared to come up with some dirty talk, no one expects him to be good at it. Certainly not Kise.

my favorite kikuro fanfic. flustered!kise & tease!kuroko

如果的事 (If) by stormterror

People fall in love in many different manners. Love feels like many different things to many people, but Kise Ryouta thinks there's nothing that quite beats the feeling of being in love with Kuroko Tetsuya. [kise/kuroko]

SO GOOD I CRIED I SMILED SO HARD. pls kikuro deserves the world

Wires, Connecting by Bakagami

It's like being blind but not, like touching air, grasping at straws, voices dissipating and reverberating.

This story is locked so you need to login into ao3 to read it. PHONE SEX & DIRTY TALK 🥵

He Promised by imabignerd

Kise promised he'd smile for Kuroko the whole way through, all the way to the end.

Zombie apocalypse AU. Death. sobbing violently.

It’s a Small World by SilentSilhouette

Kise tries to find his soulmate through social media. Soulmate AU where a picture of your soulmate is tweeted to you on your sixteenth birthday.

This one made me crackle & laugh😂😂

Murakuro Recommendations

No Such Thing as Too Much Vanilla by plumtrees

Kuroko and Murasakibara have baking days. What do you mean it isn't canon?

baking!boyfriends & fluff 😌😉

Vanilla Cream by yoimrei

Murasakibara eats Kurokos ass after something Ahomine says which sparks his jealousy.

here me out first, the ass eating in this is *chef’s kiss* 🤌🏽🤌🏽

Philia by DarkWoods

That time Murasakibara and Kuroko started kinda-sorta fake dating, and kinda-sorta never bothered to break up.

Still going & i love this writer sm. i read all their stories 😙✌🏽

Lavender Secrets by SailorHikarinoMu

Kuroko was the one to bring out his true love for basketball, which had been hidden from prying eyes since the beginning. It was one of those things he was unsure whether he should feel grateful for, but all the same, it did mean something. What this 'something' was, exactly? Murasakibara did not know. Not yet.

FLUFF AAA FLUFF

Rainy by overdose

Kuroko listened to the rain pouring, and more importantly, Murasakibara's steady breathing.

smut. couch sex. size difference. 🥴

BONUS

Hanamiya Makoto/Kuroko Tetsuya

Scotomas by Darkenedcrystal

After the game against Jabberwock, Kagami goes overseas and Kuroko finds himself without a light. A slightly angsty, rather light-hearted story about what happens to Kuroko after Kagami leaves. Features teens finding their way around life, Seirin without a light, the Generation of Miracles being a family, the teens finding love and appreciating the heartbreaks. Kuroko tries to find his own style without a light, and stumbles into the darkness that is Hanamiya Makoto instead. Extra chapter added!

love this fic so much. downside: akashi is kinda a dick

Of Unlikely Friendships, Sneaky Bets, Shogi and Sake by itsthechocopuff

Imayoshi had introduced his two favourite kouhai to each other as an experiment. He did not predict they'd get along so well, both being shadows, but they did, and they worked, oddly enough. Hanamiya brought out the worst in Kuroko, while Kuroko brought out the the best in the other; and they both caused heartattacks to unsuspecting teammates who could not believe their darling shadow was not as innocent as he seemed.

you wont regret reading this one omg

Haizaki Shougo/Kuroko Tetsuya

A Taste That Lingers by therealmoyashi

I couldn't say anything, and that was alright because he didn't want an answer. I'll never forget the way that tasted. Yeah, I thought, he ruined me.

i cried reading this for the first time. out of character kuroko

By the Tomatoes by Wayfarer_Rye

It starts with a blue-grey t-shirt that says "Nothing but Net".

Haizaki wants to try again.

[syubub]

What makes BTS most vulnerable

Woo! A reading! I wanted to do this bc its been on my list for a little while now!

I just got off work and wanted to do this asap! Pls forgive mistakes! I'm not gonna proof read bc im lazy.

Cheeky disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!!

So so so so

First off, I did each member and also one for the group! I didn't have a specific plan in mind when I started, so I just went with the flow!

Let's start with the group first

So. The 5 of pentacles is what makes them most vulnerable. This card talks about isolation, feeling lost, anxiety, not having money or influence. Most of all, a mindset of lack.

All of this to me makes me think that what makes them most vulnerable is the fear of being right back where they started. Feeling exiled from the industry, not having the funds to be sure of a stable future and also not having a strong sense of identity as a group and within the group. It's like their vulnerability comes from something almost like ptsd? Let me try to make that make more sense. I genuinely think that where they started and the uncertainty and constant ridicule really had an impact on them. The vulnerability they have as a group is essentially emotional distress? Like, I wish I had better words to explain. It's the fear that they haven't actually grown or gotten anywhere and that they are insignificant that is their vulnerability. Fear based on where they started?

I really hope that made sense. Moving on though, 7 of swords is how it manifests for them. This card is sneaky. It talks about getting away with something and betrayal but I think this meaning is the most relevant: strategic moves. So how their vulnerability manifests is that the fear that they have causes them (and the company) to make very specific moves to keep their fears from happening. It's like, they take steps to make sure their fears don't get realized. Career wise but also personally. They can sometimes force growth because they fear stagnation. Kinda like rolling something uphill? Once it loses momentum it starts rolling back down.

The other two cards, Wellness and busy times and multitasking, are what they can do to lessen that vulnerability. Keeping healthy in mind body and spirit (also keeping the group bond healthy too) as well as channeling their emotions and fears into productivity. (Think the ly:tear album)

Seokjin

This is really intresting. So, what makes him most vulnerable is repressed emotion that causes inner turmoil. The moon is all about your insides and the vastness it has. In its reverse it talks about the darker parts of your subconscious. So, him bottling shit up and repressing it becomes a monster that affects him without him even necessarily knowing.

As for how that manifest in his life, it literally affects his judgment. Like, literally. It messes with his decision making.

As a fellow human with a similar problem, I can almost bet that any issue he has with another member will be shoved away and it will fester until he's at his breaking point and he'll absolutely weaponize it but disguise it as "just poking fun" or he might also purposefully create low level chaos. It's really intresting because this could manifest in so many ways. It could be his insecurities, issues with other people, fears ect and they fester in his brain space fucking with his judgment.

What he can do to lessen this vulnerability is deep emotional healing. Istg these cards are too perfect to make up. He needs to do THE WORK and heal it. He probably recognizes this and is working on it. Its not fair to himself to put himself aside in order to put other people first. (I think this probably happened a lot in the early bts days bc he had to be an older brother and a responsible figure to 6 other kids so he prioritized group harmony over his own issues and emotions)

Yoongi

????

Um, okay. So what makes yoongi most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. That's the 10 of pentacles rev. But it gets interesting bc the 10 of swords isn't what makes him vulnerable but it also isn't how it manifests?? So here's my theory time. What makes him most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. I can only assume that it's the isolation and internal conflict of benefiting off of a system that fucked you over in the first half of your life and also feeling bad for having wealth that most people can never imagine? I really don't know? But with the 10 of swords talking about betrayal and deep wounds, it could be that he's extremely afraid of being taken advantage of? Like, that's another downside of wealth. Maybe people have tried to use him for money or influence? Especially in his personal life. Like, he probably finds it extremely hard to get close to people because he's afraid of betrayal over something that is already hard for him to deal with?

Also loss. He wasn't born rich. He worked his ass off to get what he has and he's probably afraid to lose it. He might "stash" money?

Anyway, knight of swords, how it manifests. This card is about a drive to succeed. So essentially this makes him run and push himself hard and harder and harder to out run what he sees as an inevitable end? Sometimes this can blind him.

As for what he can do to lessen this vulnerability, we have, self confidence through God confidence. This card to me talks about having faith in your actions and skills and trusting in yourself even if you doubt your ability. Essentially, yoongi just needs to trust in himself to land on his feet no matter what happens. Life is always uncertain so he needs to trust that he can weather any storm he might face.

Hoseok

This was one gave me some thoughts. So, similar to jin, it's the bottling shit up and having you subconscious mind eventually figure shit out because it's been neglected but with the 2 of swords in reverse, talking about confusion and being indecisive, I think this kinda causes him to shut down? He might get apathetic. It's almost like when you work a computer so hard that it crashes.

And how this manifests for him with the 3 of pentacles in reverse is that he gets thrown out of alignment with the group. Kinda like how you shouldn't drive on a flat tire. He withdraws and becomes hard to reach and puts up a wall that causes a lot of problems for him as well as those he is around. It's a defense mechanism. It can also manifest in him preferring to work alone as well instead of group settings.

This exposes him to depression and doubt.

Also similar to jin, for how to lessen this vulnerability we have Bless your heart with talks about reaching out (breaking down that wall) and healing your heart and healing the root issue.

Namjoon

Okay. This is the one that makes so much sense but also confuses me.

So. What makes him most vulnerable is the magician rev and 10 of cups. Unrealized potential and poor planning as well as love, harmony and alignment.

So.... what? How does love and the happiest happiness make him vulnerable?

Well, I think he's suspicious of it. I think that he can't help but wonder in his big big big brain if THIS is the right happy or if its really happiness at all? Almost like commitment issues but also not? It's like, he's afraid that it won't last? He might have trouble fully allowing himself happiness. Also, what makes him the most vulnerable is love. It opens up every bit of his soul and puts it on a laundry line for everyone to see and I don't think he thinks he's worthy enough to be seen like that?

As for how it manifests in his life, 9 of cups, personal fulfillment and a strive to have everything else in hislife sorted out? Essentially wanting to have a perfect foundation so eventually he can share with all the important people in his life.

As for what he can do. Value your self worth. pretty straight up. He needs to value himself more. He deserve love and he deserves to feel seen even if it's uncomfortable at first.

Jimin

Oki. What makes jimin most vulnerable is choice. The 7 of cups talks about focusing on what's best for you and making choices based not on illusion. I think jimin is plagued by unrealistic expectations and confronting the fact that it's not possible is what makes him most vulnerable. He makes choices that are driven by illusion. Usually about self. I think specifically about how he doesn't always see how good he already is so he pushes himself to chase after something that isn't always right for him or even there in the first place. Acknowledging and facing it brings vulnerability that he doesn't always want to face. I think he might equate vulnerability to powerlessness.

How it manifests. 9 of wands rev. Paranoia and being defensive. It's his own fear and insecurities manifesting outside of himself.

As for what he can do, passion and purpose and multifaceted. Focus on what is close to his heart and don't get side tracked. Theres so much more to this situation and there isn't an easy fix. There's a lot of things that need working on in order for him to feel comfortable.

Taehyung

Oki oki oki. What makes Tae most vulnerable is strength rev. Raw emotion. He doesn't always express his emotions and when he chooses to be more open, his emotions go through a bit of a filter. Showing his unfiltered emotions makes him most vulnerable because it's him as he is. In his truest form. It's all of his wants, joys, fears. Everything.

As for how it manifests, 10 of wands and Hanged man, it becomes a burden that he carries because he feels like he can't just be honest. He pauses and allows himself time to feel on his own but that means possibly being misunderstood and a bit isolated.

Now. What can he do to lessen it? Bless your heart and healthy communication in relationships. TALKING TO PEOPLE AND ALLOWING HIMSELF THAT VULNERABILITY. It's not bad to be vulnerable. Heal that shit bb bc you are worth it.

Jungkook

So, what makes him most vulnerable? The world in rev. Not having closure and seeking it. The process of seeking closure for himself about things that could have or putting to rest something that has come full circle. It brings vulnerability because he has to face things that he could have done better. He has to face things coming to a close and be okay with is.

How it manifests, the tower, ace of cups, 5 of cups reversed.

The tower is essentially everything crumbling down. I think jk thinks too much? If you follow a ball of yarn all the way to the end then you just unraveled a whole ass ball of yarn.

Him going to close those things cause him to unravel his foundation.

With the ace of cups, creativity and love/ new emotions, I think him taking the time to pursue personal closure helps him to be more open to love as well as giving him creative fuel.

The 5 of cups rev. Means that him doing this closure thing helps him to forgive himself bc he's taking time to move on and tie up loose ends?

For jk this closure thing manifests in every aspect of his like and I almost see it as him shedding? Sounds weird but he's consciously moving on and paying attention to what he needs?

As for what he can do? Deep emotional healing! He runs the risk of feeling more of the tower manifestation so he needs to keep himself emotionally healthy in order for this to be productive instead of destructive!

~~~~~~~

I hope y'all like this! I feel like the cards didn't always follow what I was kinda going for with my questions but it all works out in the end I guess?

My next reading will be up later this week (I've already done it and taken all of my notes. I just have to type it all out) so look foward to that as well!

[sadhaa]

another THOUGHT

Cause istg i am on a role rn. If anyone has the time and writing ability to write these ideas GO DO IT. I enable you. 

OK THOUGHT: The Dark Tower - The Hollow Queen and With All My Heart storylines but change it up a bit. The Dark Tower, The Hollow Queen The Hollow Warlock and With All My Heart

Like what if instead of Gwen, Merlin got kidnapped?

Note: I do realize after my last post that I am making some eps more Merlin-centric and that’s bc i feel like if this happened we would get more character development. just a thought. 

Note again: you can interpret this as platonic or romantic i dont really care but bc im a big rom merthur shipper, im taking this in the romantic interpretation

Note again again: can people comment like if they like ideas like this cause im down to have more thoughts. like this is fun. i feel great. 

Ok as always background:

1. Gwen is Queen, Camelot needs a queen so she is queen, but she is not married to Arthur, she is married to Lance (they did him so dirty in the show)

2. Arthur has feelings but he doesn’t really know that he has feelings. like he gets a fluttery feeling whenever Merlin smiles but just chalks it up to heart burn. 

3. Morgana knows who Emrys is. Cause if she is the High Priestess, im gonna assume she knows about the crystal cave and asked it “crytal crystal in the ground, who the hell is emrys?” and it just showed a pic of merlin and she was like “aww hell nah”

ok on to thought-->

So Morgana finds out about Merlin and his magic and is pissed. She plots to torture him for the pain he has caused her. she also remembered what Agravaine (ew) told her when he was helping her, that Arthur had the knights comb the forests in search of Merlin, ultimately going himself to save Merlin. also if she can get Emrys to her side, then maybe all of the magic population would side with her and help takeover Camelot. So she plans to kidnap him and take him to the dark tower.

so cue that scene with all the knights and Gwen but this time with Merlin too bc Gwen misses him and wants to chat like old times. 

BAM MORGANA 

now some of the knights get bitten and gwen gets knocked unconcious but Merlin tries to stand up to her, but she subdues him quick bc we need that for plot. 

the remaining knights go back to Arthur, commence angst bc oh no Merlin. 

Arthur remembers the fear he felt the last time Merlin was kidnapped by the men but doesn’t know that Merlin was kidnapped by Morgana then too. Either way, he needs to get his bff/love back.

Merlin faces the same hallucinations but its everyone reacting badly when they find out about his magic

Leon - “YOU BETRAYED YOUR FRIENDS AND ARTHUR, HOW COULD YOU”

Gwaine - “YOU LIED TO ME WHEN I TOLD YOU ABOUT MYSELF, I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS” (not super strong ik, if someone has a better one...)

Elyan and Gwen - “MAGIC KILLED OUR FATHER AND NOW WE WILL GET OUR REVENGE”

Percival - “MAGIC (CENRED) KILLED MY FAMILY NOW I WILL KILL YOU”

Lancelot - “YOU LIED AND GOT ME BANISHED, YOU SAID YOU WOULD HELP ME MERLIN” 

and then Arthur’s would hurt the most “YOU LIED TO ME ALL THESE YEARS I TRUSTED YOU YOU KILLED MY FATHER YOU COULD HAVE SAVED MORGANA YOU ALMOST GOT GAIUS KILLED YOU MONSTER...”

the “monster” part would kill him inside and is thus the breaking point for him where he falls into Morgana’s curse.

Now commence the rest of the episode Dark Tower, the same way except that the weird fairy actually helps the rescue party bc she believes that Merlin is good and that they all need him and Elyan doesn’t die bc my boi deserves better than that too. 

They get him back and he seems fine. But he really isnt

I dont have any real ideas for the Hollow Warlock its just a cool title I thought. The main pivotal part should be Merlin meeting with Morgana and monologuing about living in Camelot scared and saving Arthur and not being seen which makes the viewers see a side of Merlin that is not seen often. almost like a Dark!Merlin AU. 

Ok, now to With All My Heart. All the knights, Arthur and Gwen notice Merlin acting odd. So they follow him and notice him consorting with Morgana. Arthur is crushed bc the one person, his other half, who he knew would never betray him has now gone and done this. When they speak with Gaius and he tells them that Merlin has fallen to Morgana’s will, then they all are relieved bc that means that Merlin doesn’t actually want to betray Arthur. Arthur is now more determined than ever to get him back. So cue funny scene with a dinner with knights, arthur, gwen and gaius. even mordred.

BAM merlin unconscious and ready to be saved!

Now adventure! Quest! Drama! Angst! 

On a night where they have to stop to rest and merlin is still conked out, they swap stories of M’s heroic deeds and funny moments. they plan to tell him all of this when he wakes up cause that boy doesn’t get enough praise.

Now they are at the fancy lake (im a little lazy to figure out the name) the only downside to my idea is that there can’t be a Dolma. or maybe there is a Dolma! that isnt merlin in disguise. 

Merlin wakes up and like how Gwen went on a mad tirade for a sec, he goes on for a whole 10 mins and inadvertently reveals his magic. He vents it all out in an anger infused rant and talks about how he wants to be loved and seen and is crying as well as shouting. Everyone is horrified and Arthur feels guilty and betrayed. Percival knocks him out so that they can talk about this. They spend the night there and decide to wait til the morning to decide to help M or not (basically they all would save M they jus dont know if A would save him or not [even though they all know he would]).

Arthur sleeps and ,through Kilgarrah’s (is that how you spell it?) creepy ass voodoo magic, sees a life without Merlin in it. He wakes up with a shout and realizes. That. was. a Nightmare. a life without Merlin was literally a nightmare. He thinks back to the rant and knows that even though Merlin was scared and did things selflessly, he meant no harm to camelot and did it all out of Love. Bc he loved Arthur. Arthur then has an epiphany and realizes his “heart burn” is emotions. yike. And with that Arthur decides to help M. 

They get him to the lake and its basically a repeat of the day before with the screaming and shouting. But this time, Morgana’s men have arrived. With Morgana. cause drama.

Now the knights and gwen grab their swords and make a wall while M and A stay behind. Arthur tries to get through to Merlin and says “I am sorry with all my heart” and Merlin hesitates. 

Then a few of the evil dudes get through the wall and advance towards Arthur and Merlin. Arthur steps forward to fight and Merlin watches and realizes that Arthur would fight for him, would die for him just as Merlin had vowed to do. this man was worth it and that he knew that with all his heart. 

Merlin walks into the lake, glows a little and walks out normal. he like slow walks past the wall and uses his magic in a super badass way and just scares Morgana bc of how powerful she is. she yeets herself out of there and everyone hugs merlin and they tell him how much they all love him. Arthur in particular just kisses him right there and then, all adrenaline and happiness.  

On the way home, he tells the stories of all the times he used magic. they realize that even though he was under Morgana’s will, this is still what he felt, the fear, the anxiety, the pain. Arthur goes back and repeals the ban and makes Merlin his consort. prob some nice angst with requited love. 

the end.

someone write this pls. i have these thoughts at 11:23 pm and dont have the motivation to actually write something like this. 

[dragonsballsz]

i do wanna defend goku being forgetful in the future trunks saga bc like. being forgetful isn't equivalent to being an idiot, but while i can see the meta reasoning behind goku forgetting the senzu beans (the writers were concerned that goku and vegeta wouldn't escape if they had more senzu's left, but couldn't have them all be used up early in the arc, is my guess) but the second time felt like a bad decision, even tho i dont think it was goku being an idiot, just using forgetfulness twice

oh yeah, definitely! i can’t remember a thing worth shit, but i’m not an idiot (i like to think that i’m a genius dumbass, which i believe is very cool of me).

i’ve talked with at least one other person about this, and they had a theory that goku’s characterization in super could be interpreted as a trauma response (the great thing about trauma is that it fucks you up in WEIRD ways. like i can’t taste challah french toast anymore, which is weirdly specific, but it’s just one example of the many strange things your brain does to deal with that stuff). the downside is that dragon ball never really gets into psychology (which is my job as Guy Convinced That Fictional Characters Should Be In Therapy), so it likely won’t get brought up.

the forgetting isn’t an issue except for when it’s just kinda pointless. like i can understand goku and the others forgetting to revive king kai and co, especially in the heat of the moment, but king kai can talk to any one of them at any time, so the whole “haha goku’s so silly” thing kinda falls apart.

admittedly, i still haven’t seen the rest of super. i have a basic understanding of the rest of the story, but it’s something my roommate and i watch together, and unlike me they actually go out and contribute to society pretty regularly.

but honestly, senzu beans have been a bit of a plot hole since the beginning - which is understandable, since something that can just magically heal you in seconds can get in the way when the plot is a martial arts anime (albeit one where no one ever stays dead).

also, and i know this isn’t technically relevant, it’s important to emphasize that senzu beans are only called “senzu beans” in the english versions, because the word “senzu” (仙豆) literally means “hermit bean”. so “senzu bean” just means “hermit bean bean”. kinda a chai tea situation there.

[huangsren]

boyfriend!jaemin ; no one else

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 ; 

(idol) jaemin as your boyf because he’s the only one doing it to my soul and it’s true. this is for you, i know you’re in your “i actually love The Na Jaemin” hours

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 ; 

ALL FLUFF AND ALL JAEMIN (.. maybe there’s one point of some ‘tension’,,) bc you can never get enough of this boy

na jaemin x (fem)reader

we all know jaemin as this light-hearted, flirtatious pretty boy which is no lie!

but he’s also severely kind and loving

so imagine,, volunteering with him and having your relationship a secret?!

like you guys are out in the kids section of the library and he’s reading a storybook about a prince and his princess to them and when he says, “even if the princess was an ordinary girl, the prince wouldn’t fall for anyone else” and he just keeps eye contact with you

and you try not to make the fact you’re in love with all that he does so obvious so you tease him with, “i’m just ordinary?”

and he replies with a, “you’re everything but” and slips a small peck on your lips before anyone can catch on about the distance and tension between you two

but he has to leave to play a song for the kids and you go to arrange all the books and materials in the room because you’re genuinely here to do good, not just to be mesmerized by your secret famous boyfriend

and while he’s smiling and playing, jaemin can tell that you’re not paying much attention to him so after the song is over, he makes a little paper airplane and ‘accidentally’ sends it your way

annoyed by his intense clinginess in public, you open the paper plane to find a little note scribbled messily that read, “look at me :(”

so you smile and giggle to yourself by how cute he is and how much he needs your attention and when you look over your met with some girl volunteer clearly trying to get at him, 

and you can’t lie, it kind of left you feeling hurt and jealous

which sucks because when you leave and are in the car, you can’t help but think about the way he smiled and helped and laughed with the other girl bc honest to god she looked so pretty and kind and everything you lacked

and you know that jaemin chose you and he’s an idol so of course he’s going to be polite, he’s na jaemin!

but you’re just like any girl and he could leave you for just about anyone else he finds an interest in and you can’t help to stop the loose frown that overcomes your original, bright expression

and jaemin, being all head over heels for you- and yknow, your boyfriend- notices and asks what’s up

and before you can even finish telling him that you’re nowhere near what he deserves, he shushes you and leans your head onto his shoulder and tightens the embrace he has on you, with one arm around your shoulders and the other around your waist

he would kiss your head and brush your hair from time to time before saying, “i love you, and only you. i really am in love with everything that you are and i’m sorry you had any doubts about that love for even a second”

so of course that feeling of not being wanted and not being enough for jaemin is washed away and you snuggle into his neck and fall asleep with his warmth never leaving you the rest of the ride

also, going on dates and hang outs with him PLUS ‘00 line? nothing but the best fun!

sometimes you get to video them for the youtube channel vlogs and you’ve never been the happiest

the way they all give you second hand embarrassment by talking to the camera and doing aegyo or trying to be flirty with the lens,, straight up hiLARIOUS!

but you’re the one that gets to experience it all with them and especially jaemin

the one who gets to be there with them and know which clips were cut out and about how they slip up on camera a lot more than you would guess

plus you get to hear them admitting that it does get hard and that having to be under surveillance 24/7 and all the work is really one of the toughest things about being an idol

and you’re glad. you’re happy they trust you enough to talk, enough to let you see what others can’t really see that clearly, and enough to let you date jaemin despite the downsides of a relationship

and when you all go for boba in the least public part of the store and in low key disguises, you get to hold jaemin’s hand and call him your love

to which jeno, renjun, and haechan roll their eyes to and become over-dramatic, renjun acting like he just choked on a tapioca pearl because it’s too much pda

but this is it. this is one of the only times you get to be with jaemin and even though you want to be a little more on the down low about it,

jaemin will have none of that and go all out to show his love for you in front of the boys, because, when else will he have the chance to show you off?

so him and his bare face (which you’re actually in love with) drag you to flower shops, food stalls, cute plushie stores, and present you with countless (low-key) couple shirts, cases, keychains, and bracelets

it’s all his money being spent which you feel bad for so you tell him that you’ll pay for the next one, but he always stops you because he says he likes the thought of buying you something that reminds you of him since you guys can’t always be together the way he wants

there’s also times when jeno and hyuck use you to prank jaemin and get him all stirred up, which you agree to because it’s not like you hate the way he gets worked up over you

so when you guys are in prank mode, you’ll only pay attention and laugh with hyuck and/or jeno with jaemin right beside you

maybe even playfully push jeno’s arm or give haechan a high-five that turns into holding hands for a second before letting go to seem like it’s not much

but everyone can tell that jaemin can’t stand it because his once smiling face and loving eyes are now glaring at haechan and shooting daggers at jeno constantly, not even trying to hide it

and so he pulls you impossibly closer into his side and plays with your hands on the table in front of the two just so they know

and you’re still trying to play the prank, acting like you’re unfazed and like it’s nothing,

but you can feel the heat rising to your ears as he places his head into the side of your neck, trying to look over at the phone in your hand and you turn his direction to tell him to stop being so nosy

and now you’re extremely close, his head just a little lower than yours, your eyes wide and suddenly the weight of his arms are more evident than before with him flicking his eyes up from your lips to your own

and you take in that handsome face of his right before you think of doing something sasaengs would kill you for

until you hear a groan from jeno and a fake barfing noise from renjun

which prompts you to turn your head away from that captivating lover that is your boyfriend and cough it off

but in the side of your eye you catch jaemin with a smirk, still looking at you

and when he sees that you’re eyeing him he winks and smooches the air before looking at the boys and arguing with them because they’re always ruining his moment

besides with the boys, you and jaemin have gone out together alone too (but a manager is always hiding in the bushes somewhere,,)

and you guys share airpods, sharing each other’s current favorite songs and take walks in your neighborhood park since it’s a bit smaller and empty than most

and on your walks it isn’t unusual to have some elderly women compliment you on getting such a good looking boyfriend and swooning over him because he seems like such a “kind young man, i think i saw you on my granddaughters phone ?!”

they all pat his face and tell him that “if she’s a good one, you better not be using your good looks for bad reasons” which he assures them he isn’t and gives them that warm smile of his

and on the occasional days you’re allowed to watch them practice you find your eyes on jaemin and jaemin only, thinking to yourself how it’s possible to be so enchanted by him, how is it that he is the only one that can make you feel the way you do

after the practice is over he goes straight to you who’s sitting patiently on the couch and you have to nag at him yet again for not drinking water first 

but in the times you think about your relationship with jaemin, you’re awfully thankful that you have perfection, and perfection is him

not literally perfection because the fact you two have to be secret and there are so many things that keep you from truly living out your love sort of ruin what you really want, but it’s all worth it when you feel your hand in his

and when you see those good morning and good night texts, and get to feel the best hugs in the world, and most of all, that tired yet satisfied face he has when he comes to you in the dressing room after a big show or practice

because you know it’s one of the expressions that only you get to see and only jaemin can have because there’s no one else like him

only one na jaemin, and he’s yours

and you would keep it a secret, even keep it only between you two- you would do anything if it meant this happiness and love you felt for each other would never go away

a / n : i just KNOW that na jaemin has the ability to love and adore someone like no one else can when he’s in love (i feel it in my bOnes,,)  and this probably isn’t a quarter of what him in love would look like but it’s something