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kaze-writes · 10 days

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Temporary Fix

Based on this ask from @drinkyoursoupbitch

Summary: Equinox is taking its very first steps as a band founded by uni friends and Jaz and Leon find themselves just the two of them for the very first time, in a venue Jaz would never have dreamed of going. Warning: Mentions of alcohol and drugs, popular band trashing (pls don't come for me, it's for the story)

You caught my attention, you were looking at me first All that I can see's you waking up in my t-shirt If you're not hooked on anything right now, I can be your vice

~ One Direction - Temporary Fix ~

“Take a deep breath, hold it in your lungs. Embrace the fire. Find your balance. Switch.��

Jaz let out the breath she’d been dying to let go in a huff and moved, lowering her head to in between her arms as she stretched her legs. A drop of sweat loosened itself from between her shoulder blades and along her upside-down spine, causing her to shiver. The tickling distracted her, and even though she tried her best to follow the instructions she was given, she lagged behind as the rest of her yoga class moved into a more elaborate position. Having missed the teacher’s explanation, she did her best to mimic what everybody else was doing.

”Rotate your shoulders in and shift your weight. It’s easier that way.”

Blowing against the ponytail, which had fallen into her face, Jaz gave Leon, who was now walking through the rows of mats correcting positions a dubious look.

”I don’t think I can move in any way at all.”

His lips twitching, Leon reached out and lightly pushed against a spot above her shoulder blades. Suddenly, the weight which had started to make her arms shake was gone, and Jaz let out the breath she realised she had definitely been holding. She gave Leon a thankful look but he was already gone, ready to help the next of his students. On the mat next to her, her friend Mel was rolling her eyes, mouthing a silent ‘Bullshit!’ as she caught Jaz looking. They shared a chuckle but Jaz’s thoughts soon wandered back towards Leon.

Ever since she and Mel had started up their new band with him and his sister Mara a couple of months ago, Jaz had made it a point to go (and drag Mel) to the yoga classes Leon was teaching at a small studio near the MMU campus. He was a great teacher and Jaz usually enjoyed his classes immensely but something about Leon seemed off today. She had noticed earlier when they had all met for lunch in the university canteen, and the day before during band rehearsal; there was a strain to him that Jaz had never noticed before, a sudden restlessness beneath his usual calm demeanour that was entirely unlike him. She was curious to know why but so far, there had been no opportunity to find out.

As everyone settled down for the meditation that concluded all of Leon’s classes, Jaz found herself entirely unable to concentrate. She fidgeted in her seat, moving her hands from her thighs to her knees and back again. Her thoughts had strayed to Leon again, and giving up on her chance of inner peace for the day, she opened her eyes again.

He sat in front of the class like he always would but instead of guiding their meditation with his voice he was quiet today. His face was turned towards the big window next to him, where late autumn sunlight was slanting inside, basking him in its glow. His back was perfectly straight, both his feet resting on top of his knees in a lotus seat. His hands were folded in his lap and everything about him was still but it was far from peaceful. Jaz thought that he looked lost in thought, sad somehow, as if he was trying to hold on to something, too scared that it might slip away if moved only the slightest bit.

When the class was over and everyone but her and Mel had left, she seized her chance.

”What’s up with you today?”

”Hm?” Leon only briefly glanced up from the props he was putting away. “What do you mean? I’m perfectly fine.”

”No, you’re not,” Jaz insisted, trodding after him with her arms full of yoga blocks. “You’re quiet. You barely said a word during meditation.”

“I believe that’s the whole point of it.”

The corners of Leon’s mouth twitched but the smile didn’t reach his eyes and he quickly looked away again. Jaz clicked her tongue.

”This is about Clary, isn’t it?”

Leon’s shoulders stiffened. “What about Clary?”

”Have you given her your present yet? Didn’t she like it?”

“Didn’t he tell you?” a familiar drawl sounded from the door, where Mara, the fourth member of their group had appeared to pick them up. The sneer on her face was even more distinct than usual. “That bitch broke up with him.”

Jaz gasped, heat creeping up her neck. “Oh God, I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”

Leon merely shrugged but a defeated look had crossed his face. “No need. Not like you could know.”

”That’s shit, mate,” Mel said and clapped him on the back. “What’re you doing with those tickets now? Mara said they cost a fortune.”

Again Leon shrugged. “I don’t know. Sell them probably, if I can find a buyer on such short notice.” Half-jokingly he added, “Unless one of you would like to come?”

Both Mara and Mel shook their heads, Mara immediately so. Feeling like she needed to make up for her blunder earlier, Jaz gave them a look and shrugged her shoulders.

”Why not? Who were you going to see, anyway?”

”You’ll find out,” Mara cut Leon off, her grin wider than Jaz had ever seen before. “You’re going to have a blast.”

***

London’s O2 Arena could fit up to twenty thousand people, and from the looks of it, all of the seats would be filled. Jaz turned her head left and right as she and Leon made their way from North Greenwich Station towards the massive structure on the side of the River Thames. Her brows knitted together in a frown as she noticed the age of the people - almost exclusively girls - headed in the same direction as them, but her questioning looks in Leon’s direction were being ignored. She had asked him who they were going to watch again and again but he kept shrouding himself in silence. Jaz suspected that Mel had found out but judging by the cackle she had received when Leon had picked her up, Jaz couldn’t shake the foreboding feeling that she might regret what she had so blindly agreed on.

”We’re almost there,” she tried for the tenth time, provoking only a strained smile from Leon’s side. “You might as well tell me.”

”As you said,” shrugged Leon, hands buried deeply in his pocket, “we’re almost there. You’re gonna find out in a minute.”

He looked uncomfortable as he said so, and it took Jaz only a couple more minutes and a glimpse at the giant posters surrounding the entrance to the arena to find out why. She stopped dead in her tracks.

”You’re kidding.”

”They’re supposed to be quite good.”

”One Direction?” She shot Leon an accusing look. “I trusted you. I thought your taste was decent.”

”I’ve never taken you for a snob.”

Jaz wrinkled her nose. “I’m not a snob.”

”Sounds suspiciously like it.”

”I just don’t like mass-produced pop music.”

More than one girl clad in fan memorabilia gave Jaz a dark look as they passed her. Leon, on the other hand, only shrugged.

”Neither do I. The tickets were a gift, remember?”

“Good thing she dumped you. Really dodged a bullet there.” Seeing the smile that had appeared on Leon’s face falter, Jaz cursed herself for speaking before thinking. “Sorry. Too soon?”

“Only a little.”

He sounded defeated, the same tension Jaz had noticed in the yoga studio the other day having crept into his posture again. Sighing, Jaz nudged him with her shoulder and put a smile on her face.

“Stop the gloom. Come on. Let’s get drunk and see what One Direction has to offer.”

Much to Jaz’s disappointment, it turned out that there was, in fact, nothing to get drunk on. Once inside the vast arena and in their seats, Jaz let her eyes wander over the crowd assembled around them. It consisted almost exclusively of girls much younger than her, and once again she felt a pang of astonished disbelief that she, of all people, had made it to a pop concert. The people around them were buzzing with excitement - some of them squealing for their idols already - and she suddenly longed for the relaxed atmosphere of the small to mid-sized rock shows she usually attended.

Next to her, Leon seemed to think no differently. The conversation normally flowing so effortlessly between them had ceased during their wait before admittance, and the answers Jaz was able to draw from him now were half-hearted at best. She didn’t know whether it was the venue, the act they were about to see, or the fact that she was in the spot his (ex) girlfriend was supposed to sit, but the atmosphere was strained where it had never been before, which wasn’t a feeling Jaz liked one bit.

She tapped Leon on the shoulder.

”We still have some time,” she almost screamed at him as a roar went up over a roadie adjusting something on the stylised stage. “Shall we get a breather?”

Something like relief crossed Leon’s face. “Smoking area is out back.”

”I don’t smoke.”

”Not talking about cigarettes, am I?”

Giggling, Jaz rose from her seat and led the way outside. Once they had found a secluded corner away from most of the hustle and bustle, she stood close to Leon, blocking view of him while he produced a colourful woven pouch out of his pockets, rolling the dried herbs inside into a paper with deft fingers. He lit up and passed the joint to Jaz, who took a long drag, feeling the warmth spread inside her body.

”Do you realise,” Leon said after they had passed the joint back and forth a couple of times, “that this is the first time we’re doing something together, just the two of us?”

Stunned, Jaz tilted her head. “No, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is.”

”Wow.” She blew smoke into the air, trying not to giggle as it tickled past her lips. “Is that why you’re acting all strange and mood and gloom today?” She laughed when Leon shrugged, nudging his foot with the tip of her trainers. “There’s no need. I’m delightful company.”

”I know.”

”And this is not a date either.”

”I know it’s not.”

”Because that’d be against the rules.”

”Very much so.”

”They’re good rules,” Jaz sighed, passing Leon back the weed. “Focus on the music and don’t get distracted fucking around. Makes sense.”

”Rich is a great manager. He knows what he’s doing.”

They fell silent again. Jaz sighed.

”Listen, both of us have imagined this evening very differently but we’re here now, and that’s a fact. No use making ourselves have a shit time, is it?”

Tentatively, Leon gave her a strained smile. “I guess not.”

”See? Hang on.” Turning away, Jaz quickly walked over to the tired-looking set of parents standing a little to the side of the smoking area, as suspiciously close to each other as she and Leon. When she returned, she triumphantly held two tiny bottles of clear liquor into Leon’s face. An astounded look crossed his face. His lips twitched.

”You’re incredible.”

”What’s new?” Unscrewing the lid, she toasted to Leon with a wink. “To our non-date.”

Grinning, Leon stubbed out their joint and brought the bottled shot to his lips. “To One Direction.”

When they returned inside, the crowd was buzzing with anticipation. The show must have been about to start, yet there were still people lined up along the merchandise store as Leon and Jaz passed there. A group of girls was huddled around a poster one of them had just purchased, discussing the boys smiling at them from the print with flushed cheeks. Every now and again, they would cast furtive looks in Leon’s direction, who pretended not to notice. Still feeling the effect of the weed, Jaz bit back a laugh and approached them. Frowning, Leon followed her.

”Are you as excited as I am?” she beamed at the confused girls. “Can’t be much longer now.”

One of them, a tall girl with hearts painted on both her cheeks, eyed her warily. “Do we know you?”

”All Directioners, are we not?” Jaz gave Leon a sideways look and smirked. “My boyfriend here was so excited to see One Direction, you have no idea.”

”What to say,” Leon sighed and put an arm around her shoulder, not missing a beat playing along. “Can’t help getting drawn in when your girlfriend erects a shrine to Harry Styles in your bedroom, can you?”

Looking between themselves, the girls shuffled away, leaving Jaz and Leon behind, giggling to themselves.

“You take me for a Harry Styles girl?” Jaz raised her eyebrow as they made their way back to their seats. “Really?”

”He’s got nice hair, or so I’ve been told.”

”’Told’, hm?” Jaz laughed. “I’ll think about it if he grows himself a beard.”

Leon said nothing, corners of his mouth twitching as he removed the arm that had kept resting around Jaz’s shoulders.

The high of the weed soon wore off but once the show had started, Jaz found that, unexpectedly, she didn’t mind. The music was run-of-the-mill pop, just like she had expected, but the energy of the crowd was incredible. She soon bopped along to the beat, and Leon next to her was doing the same. Every now and then, she stole a glance at him when she thought he wouldn’t notice. He, too, was nodding his head in time with the music, and after about half of the setlist, all the tension in his shoulders seemed to have disappeared. He was as relaxed as Jaz had known him to be, a sort of calm to his movements that made him seem peaceful even when the whole arena around him was dancing. It was good to see him like this. It was good to be here with him like this.

Her surprisingly good mood carried Jaz through the rest of the show, and even the tightly packed tube leaving from North Greenwich Station couldn’t shake her. She and Leon stood to the side of the wagon, engaged in a hearty debate about the show. He had his hand hooked into the holds running along the ceiling, while Jaz, being too small to reach them comfortably, resorted to sticking close to Leon.

The night was mellow when they got off the station, a mellow wind ruffling Jaz’s hair as they ascended from underground. It was a good deal to walk to where she and Mel were sharing their flat but Jaz hardly noticed. She and Leon were still talking, about tonight’s show, other shows they had attended, shows they might themselves potentially play should everything work out how Rich had promised them to.

“You’re never quite still, are you?”

”Huh? What do you mean?” They had stopped at a traffic light, waiting for it to turn green. Lost in thought, Jaz had been humming one of the songs that had been stuck in her head ever since leaving the arena, tapping both her foot and fingers to two different rhythms. It was this Leon nodded his head at.

”Whenever there is music, you move. And mostly when there isn’t, you do, too. No denying it,” he laughed when Jaz opened her mouth to protest, “I’ve seen you during my classes. You’re the only one who can't seem to sit still even for a moment.”

“I can’t help it,” Jaz shrugged. Her cheeks were warm but there was a smile forming on her face. “It’s a drummer thing, I guess.”

”Music is in your blood.” The smile mirrored on Leon’s face grew wider, and a tiny bit lopsided as he pointed between them. “That’s why we work. So you didn’t think tonight was all awful?”

”I don’t know.” Jaz pulled a face. “I can’t bring myself to say anything nice about One Direction, I don’t think.”

”So you’re a snob after all.” Laughing, he stepped sideways when Jaz made to hit him. “Personally, I think they weren’t that bad. Maybe Clary had more taste than I gave her credit for.”

His voice faltered at the last words, the spark in his eyes entirely disappeared again. Suddenly, he looked so crestfallen that it made Jaz angry. He didn’t deserve to be treated like this; no one did, but least of all him.

”She has no taste whatsoever,” she said sharply, holding up a finger when Leon made to defend her. “If she had, she wouldn’t have dumped you like she did.”

”She had every right to.”

”I don’t care. She was dumb to. You’re a great person, Leon - an amazing person, even - and you’re kind and funny and good-looking and an incredible musician and if she for one moment thought otherwise...” Jaz shrugged angrily. “No idea how to help her then.”

It took Leon a moment to answer. He swallowed heavily. “That’s… kind of you to say.”

”Even though I am hurting because of you.”

Astounded, Leon stopped walking. Jaz did too. They had reached the building where she and Mel lived, and she had already been climbing the first step leading up to the front door, making her and Leon almost level-eyed. There was surprise in them, and a flicker of something else Jaz wasn’t quite sure how to read.

”What makes you say that?”

”It’s true,” she said casually, forcing herself to look away. She didn’t know why she’d said it, to lighten the mood maybe. It was always like this with Leon - he made her speak before she thought. He made her be in the moment, wholly and entirely. It was one of the qualities she liked about him the most. “Every time I come out of your classes I feel worse than after CrossFit. I thought yoga was supposed to be relaxing.”

”Peace of body and mind is all the sweeter for having earned it.” His face lay half-hidden in the shadows cast by a nearby street light but something in his eyes had changed. A spark. A challenge? “Where are you hurting?”

”Where not? Mostly here, though.”

She pointed at the top of her shoulders, right where they met her neck. Leon stepped closer, putting his hand on the corresponding spot. Her pain there wasn’t nearly half as bad as she had made it sound but Jaz found that she cared less about this than the slight pressure of Leon’s hand as his thumb brushed over her shoulder, just shy of grazing the edge of her collarbone. Her breath hitched and she was suddenly glad she had brought a jacket. Goosebumps were covering her skin beneath it.

“I told you your posture was bad,” Leon mumbled, not looking at her face but where his hand was still resting on her body.

Jaz swallowed, her throat suddenly almost too tight to speak. “You did.”

“I could show you how to correct your form sometime.”

“Yeah, some time.”

Without realising, she had moved down one step again, closer to Leon, closer to the heat of his body. Even though she was so close now, his hand remained fixed on her shoulder where it had been. She should just raise her arms and hug him goodbye, get the hell back into her flat and be done with it, but strangely, Jaz found herself both unable and unwilling to do so. She took the last step down again, now almost flush against him, as close as they had been in the tube earlier. She raised her eyes to meet his. He was watching her, attentively. She could almost feel his chest rising and falling beneath his shirt in shallow breaths, longed to place her hand there where it had no business. His lips were parted ever so slightly and she studied their curve, the dip in his cupid’s bow. She had never realised his lips were quite so beautiful. No, that was a lie. She had thought it on the very first evening they’d met. She had just made herself not think about it since.

They had moved closer still, and Jaz tilted her head as Leon’s eyes dropped to her lips, holding her breath but she didn’t dare move. Neither did he. They just stood there, their chests almost touching, his hand still on her shoulder, eyes locked in a moment that could have been an eternity in itself.

Eventually, Leon blinked twice. He didn’t move back but even so, the spell had been broken.

“Jaz, I…”

“I know.” She made a conscious effort to step away from him, and the moment disappeared entirely.The spark that had been building between them for the better part of the evening had flickered out, leaving nothing behind but the warmth in her cheeks and the strange feeling in her chest. “This is not a good idea.”

A mixture of relief and regret flickered across Leon’s face, brief but so distinct that Jaz wondered how people could ever think that he was hard to read.

“Please don’t take this wrongly, but the band looks like it’s going places and messing this up would…”

“Leon, it’s cool.” Jaz smiled at him. “I know. Never change a running system, right?”

“Right.”

They fell silent, then after another awkward moment hugged each other goodbye and parted ways. Jaz was almost inside her front door when, on a whim, she turned in the doorway and called after him.

”I had a great evening, by the way. Just don’t tell Mel I said so.”

Leon laughed, dipping his head back into his neck as he. The orange light of the street light washed over him, and even from a distance, Jaz thought she could see the sparkle in his eyes. “Still a snob then.”

”I’m willing to learn. Thanks for taking me.”

”Thanks for coming.”

”That’s what friends are for, aren’t they?”

He inclined his head, the lopsided smile from before playing around his lips. “That’s what friends are for.”

And then he was gone, dipping in and out of the light and shadow of the London night, leaving Jaz to watch after him for maybe a moment too long. Shaking herself from her daze, she turned and pulled out her keys. She hoped Mel wasn’t awake anymore.

There were a couple of things she had to think about.

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