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writing-whump · 2 months

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breathing in a bag: oh god oh god oh god, its here NO ONE PANIC.

I think Seline and Zaya are about to hit a wall of feelings thanks to him being a Silly Rabbit and not telling her "hey baby, i'm like. dying." soooo can I request some sweet sugary seline/isaiah before we're hit with the steamroller?

Date

Very sugary.

Seline was sure today was somehow special for Isaiah. She just couldn't figure out why.

He knocked on her door at 10 am in the morning, asking how many daydream sessions she finished and if she was in the mood for breakfast - in bed. That he knew that she woke up early these days only to fall asleep multiple times to daydream new story scenes or poems amazed her.

Then he brought the English Breakfast restaurant-style breakfast that made her feel equally cherished and underdressed for the occasion.

Usually, they always planned trips and days they wanted to spend together. Today, he was all, "I got a surprise. Trust me?" His excitement was contagious.

And she had to say it was quite the plan. They went to the Albertina gallery, which had two new exhibitions, one with hyper-realistic photographs and one with a political comic-style artist. She loved going to museums and galleries with Isaiah. He was literally the only person in the world who not only tolerated her long gawking and reading of every info, but also discussed the pieces with her. They stayed at each drawing for at least 15 minutes. Matthew would have blacked down after the first two.

Isaiah was not just patience manifested, he seemed to enjoy himself. Whenever he got really nerdy, talking about the psychological effect of using only three base colours or about the historical background of the photographs or about the atmosphere of certain series of photographs resonating with certain kinds of people and brain signals...

Oh god. It was the most exciting thing. She loved watching him. She loved listening to him. She loved that they both had stuff to say, but it didn't feel like a competition. She loved she didn't have to fight to get to say something, that he listed to her. She loved she was genuinely and truly interested in what he would say next. Because she wanted to know his opinions and get fascinated by all the new things he knew.

Isaiah was the only one who could impress her with the stuff he knew. Most people couldn't, aside her professors.

Seline found falling in love incredibly hard. Connecting with people in general, really. In primary school, she was popular for knowing all Disney movies by memory and for thinking up new plays for the kids to play. But since high school, she liked teachers more than any of her classmates.

And how the hell was she supposed to choose friends? Her peers kept falling in love every second day or talking about said crushes and she couldn't phantom what they liked. What was so interesting about that? The boys were little immature screaming bags to her.

Friends that weren't boring we eternally difficult to find. She didn't connect with anyone over anything. Social media weren't her thing, reading wasn't a thing for them. Really, people that shared any of her interests or love for writing were mostly online.

When she did have friends, mostly her girls from primary school and the few sciency friends from university field trips —people she actually didn't find a drag to listen to— they said Seline had too high expectations for a guy. Like, if he was as nerdy as her, he would surely be a head smaller and she better make peace with him not being a looker. Settle down, girl.

She tried dating people, but damn, was it difficult to catch feelings. Why couldn't she feel a thing? The looks weren't that important and if they were there, she figured cringing whenever the guy opened his mouth wasn't a good sign. And when he managed to get through her rigorous list of questions and plans, because how else was she supposed to test their value and interests compatibility? - the emotion was missing entirely.

Universe, could you please, please, give me a person I could admire and feel something for? Anyone like that out there?

And then she met Isaiah.

They had lunch at a small but incredibly good family sushi restaurant. For the cake, he took her to her favorite confectioanry, though, on the balcony with an awesome view, and let her order about four different desserts, when she couldn't decide. Christ, even the place was expensive.

But Isaiah had a twinkle in his eye and a constant smile. It was very rare for him to be in a good mood so openly, like watching her was the most fascinating showpiece.

She couldn't protest anything he said with that expression.

Caught in the moment of watching him, all dressed up in a dashing suit, black hair with that gentle waves to it, green eyes set only on her, she reached over. Her hand went on top of his under the chin, then gently up to stroke his cheek.

"What mask are you wearing today?"

Isaiah kissed her knuckles, too happy to even mind the PDA. "The one I wear with you. I like it the most."

Seline couldn't help the blush, ducking her head. He was more social than her, always alert, always perceptive and adjusting to the situation. Charming gentleman, yes, kind, absolutely. But he could be funny and relaxed, or serious and scary, or authoritative and confident. Every person and group, every situation, brought out a different side of him.

It confused her at the start. Now, she found it fascinating.

Once again, she was tempted to ask what today was. Why was it special? Was there an anniversary she didn't know about? It wasn't a year since they moved in together, that would be in two months. The month they have been together for a year...that would be four months. What was this? They haven't even been a pack a year ago.

The cakes were excellent, but the sweetness and intensity of the different flavours overwhelmed her quickly. She slid her plate with half of the Strawberry Mouse Cake towards Isaiah to go to the Coffee Meringue Cake. They also still had the Apple Strudel and her favorite Mango slice tart. It felt like her birthday.

Isaiah was chuckling indulgently, finishing the cakes for her. Never a better chance to try so many. And the hot chocolates they made there were to die for. When she couldn't decide between that and the Caramel Machiatto, Isaiah ordered both.

"You are spoiling me today."

Isaiah gave her a blinding smile of satisfaction.

They went by foor afterwards, through the two nicest parks and Hofburg all the way to the Danube river. It was like Isaiah had it calculated, cause the sun was just setting and they were at the perfect side of the river to see it without being blinded.

He took her hand, fingers intertwined gently, as they passed bikes and families returning from bathing, reaching a nice molo halfway across the river.

Isaiah guided her to sit down before joining her, suit and all on the wooden molo. She watched him curiously, getting a bit nervous at how heavy the moment felt.

"The sunset is beautiful," she burst out quickly.

Isaiah raised one eyebrow at the remark, smiling. He leaned close enough to kiss her, but only brushed a lock of blond hair behind her ear. "Not as much as you."

Seline bit her lip, looking at him from under her lashes.

"I know beauty isn't that high on your priority list. And I know that's not something you want to be admired for. Not for anything you were given, not for magic or for your looks."

She ducked her head. His fingers lingered in her hair.

"I know you don't go about perceiving the world through physical sensations. You relate through your mind. You want intellectual stimulation to feel connection and interests." His hand still in his hair followed the line of her head to her neck. He cupped her cheek.

"Which doesn't mean you don't have feelings. They are so intense that you prefer to save them for later. Process them in private. That's why you don't need that much stimulation, working through the little details. Understanding yourself inside out. Body comes last and you don't put emphasis on it. If you focus on it, you get bashful."

She could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks under his touch. His voice was silky smooth.

"Not that it's anything to feel ashamed of. But you feel comfortable with contact only after connection has been made. I have been trying to go slowly."

Which was true. He always let her set the pace. Make the first move.

"I don't want to scare you. And I don't want you to feel like you have to say it back." That was the first time he looked down, suddenly a little insecure, before lifting his gaze to hers again.

Her breath caught in her chest, pulse picking up.

"I love how your mind works. Constantly hungry for knowldge. Your thinking is so abstract and so creative and you are never bored, always working on some kind of thought project. Always halfway somewhere else," he said, stroking her cheek with his thumb.

"But I love everything about it. Your mind, your order rituals to keep yourself tethered to the real world, the way you read spoilers ahead to enjoy the same thing from different lenses, your broad view of things, your ability to look at things objectively but also understanding the emotion behind it..."

Seline was amazed how scarily accurate all of this was. She couldn't move under his touch, eyes getting wider.

"I love everything...about you." He looked to the side then. His fingers against her face were shaking. "Just thought you should know."

Seline shook her head, voice all stunned. "That's your new trick? You go all impressive psychology on me and analyse me, cause you know that will make you irresistible?"

Isaiah looked up, startled. "I wasn't-"

"You are ridiculous." Seline grabbed him by the collar and smashed their lips together. Her heartbeat was somewhere in her ears. It felt like she wouldn't be able to breathe if she didn't kiss him immediately.

"You know how hot I find it when you talk all smart. I had a feast of you today," she said against his nose, her hand reaching behind his neck to hold him more securely.

She said hot on purpose, cause that was a word she didn't use often. It was too vague and felt too...indecent. Some part of her was always scared of it, of being some kind of primitive animal only focused on the body.

But with Isaiah the body turned to a medium, the carrier of his soul. It was special because it held him inside, the lips that spoke to her, the spirit looking at her from his eyes. It meant something completely different, to feel this closeness. Touch became a way to express it, not threaten it.

Was she not saying it enough? How much she admired him, how much she enjoyed him? Being this smart and relaxed and doting?

"I'm a girl of words. I love words. And I love when you talk. You are never boring. I'm always learning something," she said, leaning forward to hide her face against his neck. "You have so many faces. So many masks. I want to know all of them."

Her lips brushed against the skin on the side of his throat. Isaiah shivered underneath her.

"I never felt this way...about anyone," she admitted quietly.

Isaiah took her face in his hands, making her look up at him again. "It scares me. It isn't fair to everyone else, how much I can love just you."

Why did that make her so incredibly happy.

Isaiah wrapped her in an embrace and just held her, letting their bodies take comfort from the touch while they both worked through the impact of those words.

Seline ended up leaning against his shoulder, his arm around her back as the sun set in front of them.

It was the perfect moment.

Isaiah's body jostled underneath her suddenly. His free hand moved towards his middle for a second before dropping.

Seline frowned, turning to look at him. She didn't have a good angle on his face, but her access to his throat was ideal. She could feel it bobbing as he swallowed.

She pushed her hand up into his hair gently. "Okay?"

Isaiah shook his head in denial. "Sorry. Just-urrrp-ate too much."

"Oh. All the cakes."

Isaiah suppressed another burp. "I'm sorry. Don't-don't mind it, please." His neck and cheeks went all red.

Seline chuckled, weirdly pleased. "I mean, it's kinda my fault. Kept pushing them to you." She leaned more into him, her whole side pressed into his.

Her hand went down around his back again while she sneaked her free one to his belly, tentatively pulling at his button up.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to ruin-"

"Shhhhh." She kissed his neck and then his jaw. "It's okay, baby. You couldn't ruin this in any way. This was perfect." Another kiss under his ear. "And it's cute, just so you know."

"You say the silliest things."

"I never say anything I don't mean," she corrected smugly. "You taking your walls down just for a bit. Around me. What's not to like?"

Isaiah huffed. "You can't-"

Her hand sneaked up to his belly, cutting him off. She let her palm rest on top of it, feeling the bloat under her fingers. Having him this close, his breathing a little ragged from the discomfort and emberssment made her insides dance.

"I love this. I love you. I love everything about you." Seline nuzzled her face against his cheek, feeling incredibly intimate. The contact, his sudden shyness. The little crack in that armor he still didn't quite take down. Or was that only her feeling?

"You don't have to say it so many times," he said, scratching at the top of his head self-consciously, turning his head to blow up the air from another breathy burp.

Seline giggled, drunk on the feeling. Feeling. She was feeling so much. She let herself feel it all in that moment, everyting she felt for him. It was a flood of mind-melting, honey-coloured happiness. "I can't say it enough."

#sickfic #fluff #comfort #werewolf wip #upset tummy #my writing #Isaiah #Seline

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absolutebl · 1 year

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Hello, hello, Sensei! I figured other BL fans might benefit from this Q&A, so I'm posing this question on the public channels: in your reblog of my TharnType review, you mentioned watching Dew the Movie in a comment about being surprised about the developing kinds of BL that were coming out of Thailand in 2019. Could you expound a little more on that? I'm trying to get a sense of what Dew stands for by way of where it lives in the BL history books. I'm also aware that if it weren't for Bad Buddy, that this piece would have likely been Ohm Pawat's last appearance in queer media, and I want to keep that in mind before I watch it (which will be very soon). Dew will be the only movie on my Old GMMTV Challenge list, so I want to give it the understanding it deserves. THANK YOU, *FOR EVERYTHING*, SENSEI! <3

Dew the Movie

Not a review, more where it sits in Thailand's cinematic journey and how that correlates to queer cinema and its standard pattern of evolution.

I've always though of Dew as GMMTV's My Bromance. Not the same tropes but same tenor. Sweet Student Boy is another one. Or even Your Name Engraved Herein (although that is Taiwan and superior).

All quite heavy. Not much BL.

In Thailand this style started with Love of Siam. And I would put Present Perfect in there as impactful as well (very arthouse and complicated piece that made waves in the Thai queer film industry for many reasons not the least of which was political).

Most queer cinema enters the world with this kind of offering.

There is also a gay rep vis "character patterns in cinematic traditions" that everyone pretty much knows about in ET:

if there at all = kill the gay

if there at all = punch down humor (aka fear the gay so mock openly)

gay rep narratives green lit (usually arthouse) but in order to be taken seriously by critics and greater social structure are censored away from joy (gayness not permitted to be portrayed in a positive light) = queer characters exist but are not allowed to end up happy - these shows can win awards and critical acclaim (the Broke Back Mountain effect)

magical gay advice giver (queer serves only as a plot device to help the hets) - there's usually a make-over involved

1 major gay character (usually in comedy/romance) = tokenize the queer side (aka my gay bestie)

happy ending sanitized gay romances (or skinned romances where the gay characters act like hets - see seme/uke),

actual gay romances honest to the community/experience and peopled with multiple queer characters and life stages

Of course this is not a tidy progression, we can see Thai BL (stage 6) still grappling with 1-5, but also slowly moving into and having more and more of stage 7.

Actual queer narratives (of which romance would be a subset and tends to emerge later) like Dew stay quite dark, gritty, and chewy and usually spring up along side the mainstream depiction of gay characters - around the time that mainstream film decides to acknowledge gays exist at all (and immediately starts killing them).

They just get little to no attention because they are under funded, under marketed, and scary for mainstream viewers. Society isn't ready if these are made too soon in the 1-7 progression. Which is not to say the shouldn't be made! Just why they aren't popular in the zeitgeist.

Dew is part of the "yes but what about the real gays?" side (yet parallel) evolving tradition to BL (that is only now kind of getting integrated into BL). So, stage 3.

But also all stuff I watched North American arthouse grapple with extensively in the 90s and seemed to all follow EXACTLY the same non-romantic narrative path. Therefore it feels like I've seen it a million times.

I'm personally exhausted by this kind of "picking at gay pain" queer content. I don't need to see it anymore. I got into BL because it was materially different and all ways from what happened over here in Hollywood. We never got THIS level of stage 6 and it's fascinating that Asia is lingering in it for so long.

Back to Dew...

Wistful gay?

What might have been...

Something like that?

These shows grapple with identity and expression and out-ness and courage.

It's sad and depressing.

That's about all I remember of it because it was so much like so much of what I had already seen in queer cinema. Perhaps special for the Thai queer film world, but not special for me.

Although I do remember thinking Ohm was great in it.

In the end I think Dew was GMMTV picking up and experimenting with the more universal tradition of exploring (and exploiting for drama) gay pain. It's not really a romance in the modern sense of the term... and I prefer romance.

(source)

#asked and answered #dew the movie #ohm pawat #thai bl #thai cinema #cinematic traditions

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a-slut-for-vegaspete · 10 months

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Playboyy – Porn without Plot?

Initial Thoughts on/ Reaction to Playboyy Episode One

As someone who loves to study (quite literally; I’m currently pursuing a MA degree in cultural studies) and investigate depictions of sex and sexuality in media, Playboyy has been one of my most anticipated releases of 2023 and it’s easier for me to work through my issues with a piece of media when I put my thoughts on paper or in a word document; so this post is primarily for myself.

Sex is sometimes presented as a personal, individual matter but in reality, our thoughts on sex, our dislikes and likes are a product or, at the very least, are shaped by, and of course in term can also influence, existing, dominant discourses on sex(uality), gender, class, race etc. One example of this – one most BL viewers/ queer individuals will recognise – would of course be sex between queer individuals; an issue that remains highly debated. Some people/governments to this day like to think that they have the right to dictate who is allowed to have sex with whom and what sexual practices people can engage in without facing societal/legal punishment. So sex is never just about sex but is always also political; it’s just that this is more obvious to people who are part of a (or multiple) marginalised group(s). Sex is an entangled, complex phenomenon that always needs to be understood in relation to other discourses on e.g. (normative) femininity/masculinity, national identity etc. So any sexual act (on screen/irl), whether intended or not, engages with these discourses, subverts them and/or reaffirms them.

Regardless of whether the creators of Playboyy – or any piece of media for that matter – have meant for this series to serve as a critique or subversion of certain ideas surrounding sex and sexuality, the series (un)intentionally presents us with certain performances of sex and in doing so adds to, intervenes in and shapes existing discourses on sexuality and influences how topics such as kink, queerness, sex work (to name a few) are understood and talked about.

Since only one episode has been released so far, and since I don't know what goes on in the writers’ minds, I, of course, can’t say for certain whether Playboyy is intended to engage with the political and social aspects of sex. However, I do think that Denice’s Twitter accounts (he is one of the writers (@ VivienneActing)) can provide us with insights into the writers’ intentions behind creating this show. In addition, the opening scene of episode one makes it clear that this piece of media, in some capacity at least, serves as a social commentary on the construction of sexual practices and sexual identities (in Thailand). The viewer is seemingly directly addressed, questions regarding sex are posed and the statement that “sex has many forms and careers in many places with many preferences” is made, which leads me to think that the creators have thought about and want the audience to critically think about how sex is often presented and talked about within dominant discourses. The character goes on to say that “it would be great if we could stop faking it and be frank about it”, which implies that the way we currently talk about sex is dissatisfactory to the character in the show/the creators of the show and that this series intends to present their own – potentially non-normative – views on sex. Especially the comment that “it’s a shame that we can’t be that free in this country” functions as a critique of how sex and the sex industry are frequently conceptualised in Thailand. (And when I say ‘Thailand’ here I of course don’t mean the entire country; I’m specifically referring to people/institutions/political parties that uphold and propagate conservative beliefs on and attitudes regarding sex. And I think this is the part of Thailand the series is critical of here as well).

However, I also don’t want to place too much importance on the intentions of the creators (in part, bc as I have said before, unless we are told specifically we can only speculate about their motives). I for one am also very interested in how I myself (and other viewers) read and interpret the narratives the series presents us with.

Little disclaimer: I watched episode 1 last night, half asleep, I don’t have the best memory and since the story has literally just begun (and there are so many ways this could pan out), my stance on these issues will probably change with the release of future episodes. So my ramblings have their limitations. In addition, I’ve grown up in the West, which influences how I conceptualise sex(uality) and gender; which is definitely something to be wary of and to be critical of, as well.

As of right now, I’m the most intrigued by Zouey and by how he navigates sex and how he expresses himself sexually. What I find so interesting about his character is his non-normative approach to sex. While he is introduced as someone who apparently hasn't slept with anyone yet, we also see that he has sexual needs and desires. I love that the show does not limit sexual expression to intimate relations between two or more people but also showcases the possibility of exploring it on your own.

I’m fascinated by people’s initial reactions to Zouey and what people make of his character; in particular people’s thoughts on the scene where he is in a dark room masturbating to a painting. I do wonder how much the colour grading (quite dark and gloomy) and the music (somewhat ominous) might influence or shape viewers’ perceptions of this scene and their conceptualisation of Zouey, and more broadly speaking their reception of expressions of non-normative sexual acts (in media).

The way Zoey negotiates his boundaries regarding sex is so interesting to me, as he clearly feels sexual attraction but does not feel comfortable being touched sexually. (I do wonder if there is a reason for this. Not saying that there needs to be a particular reason; I’m genuinely just curious if we might find out more in future episodes). I personally love how that doesn’t stop him from blowing Teena (twice if I remember correctly). I think his performance disrupts the normative script of sex, (or one of the normative scripts. To say that there is only one normative way to have sex would be incorrect I guess). He definitely doesn't adhere to this script/these scripts, and this seems to have created discomfort/confusion for some viewers, while others seem to really appreciate it.

Also a little side note: the way Zouey does or doesn’t have sex can also lead us to posing the question of what counts as sex. Only penetrative sex? That seems like a somewhat outdated and not exactly queer-friendly definition of sex, right? And what even is virginity? Is Zouey still a virgin or not by the end of the episode?

I think the first episode already touches on so many different issues and I love it. People have pointed out the different social statuses of First and Soong, so we already have a storyline that highlights how sex and class are interconnected issues. We have seen a fair amount of kinky sexual practices, and sex workers have also made an appearance. So to come back to my initial question, is Playboyy porn without plot? Personally, I wouldn’t classify it as such. In my opinion, while the first episode does heavily focus on sex, sex is used as a tool for storytelling and the creators have taken the unique approach of introducing the viewers to the characters via sex. Plus, there is the mysterious disappearance of Nun/Nant(?). But also to me, it doesn’t really matter whether this is porn without plot or not. Firstly, because I think that sometimes (emphasis on ‘sometimes’, okay?) when something is labelled as porn without plot this is done to discredit a particular piece of media and to paint it as something that is inherently ‘less’ (less serious, less valuable etc.) and I don’t agree with this particular conceptualisation of plot without porn because I think it fails to recognise the value of such stories, not just for people’s own enjoyment but also in regards to academic analysis. And secondly, because I am more interested in how the series is situated (and maybe even actively positions itself) in relation to broader discourses such as (non-normative) sexualities, kink, sex work (in Thailand) etc. and for this we don’t necessarily need a “good” plot structure. So I, for one, am I excited to watch (and analyse) the rest of the show.

#i’m known to change my mind quite frequently #so there is a good chance that i will have changed my opinion on a lot of things by the end of the show #also this is clearly by no means a fully flashed out analysis #i just needed to get this out of my head so that i can focus on the things i actually need to do today ahah #if you see a typo ... no you didn't #playboyy the series

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roaldseth · 1 year

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Is triangle strategy good cause I've heard mixed opinions

My biased opinion: absolutely yes.

My unbiased opinion: absolutely yes.

But, just so you don't just jaunt about your day saying "well that wasn't helpful at all!" This is a more thorough breakdown below to why I like and recommend Triangle Strategy, as well as going into some common reasons as to why people say it's bad or have mixed feelings.

First and foremost as a disclaimer: I am not an SRPG enthusiast. I don't Fire Emblem or Tactics Ogre or what have you. However, I will address things in a broad sense and not things specifically for the genre.

>>STORY: The game opens you into a rather standard medieval-esque fictional setting; its land divided into 3 major powers: the Kingdom of Glenbrook, the Grand Duchy of Aesfrost, and the Holy State of Hyzante, each conveniently color coded for easy recognition and also have their own purposes and ideals. The farther you travers through the paths, for multiple routes await, and its history, the political and martial machinations quickly unfold from easy-going times to one absolutely engulfed in harrowing accounts stemming from no right answers. Despite any preset allegiances, the player, as a young newly appointed lord of the most acclaimed High House of Glenbrook, sits in-between the 3 forces and becomes the epicenter of the continent's, Norzelia's, fate.

Triangle Strategy is a game about harsh wartimes, the impossible decisions needed to make and end them, and the many results that you have directly and indirectly caused. Recently, I had made a post on other social media in which I noted that this game took me a very long time to complete because I had, at point, become physically unable to play from choice aversion and the dangers of outcomes. This is not a flaw of Triangle Strategy. This is its purpose. In those times, the game had done exactly what it was meant to do, so that aspect or level of anxiety while playing a first run-through is not appealing, then it might be something to reconsider with entertaining. However, I will say that eventually you can get accustomed and it can become easier to make those less than desirable choices. The common consensus that I also agree with is to play through your first run as blindly as possible, moving forward with your instincts and gut and even emotions rather than a guide or walkthrough. This is greatly reinforced with the Convictions mechanic, and baby virtually everything counts towards conviction. Pet that cat. You will feel better about it, trust me.

Throughout your path(s) you are presented with a variety of situations. Thought the main story is dire after the first handful of chapters, there is reprieve with character stories that range from silly to heartwarming to melancholic and just an all around fun way of knowing a little bit more on who certain characters are and how they interact with others and the world around them. The script itself isn't difficult, not written in an unintelligible old english, but in just enough way to get the feel of antiquity without being completely lost, making things seem more colorful. There's even a differentiation between characters who'll say "aye" as opposed to a more modern "yes," which is just delightful in my opinion.

The world-building however is understood enough to serve its purpose, but the exact details of many things are left up in the air for question if you look slightly below the surface. Though I personally am left wanting more because I fancy lore, it's very "a piece of a fiction novel" about it. It owns a lot of things it doesn't explain and that's what any writer would do if they were to create a fantasy novel with complex systems and history. It knows what's important to make it move.

As a close off, I would like to note one thing that I think was very bold of Triangle Strategy and that was its endings. Though there is a coveted ending that many strive for, even then the options you are ultimately given are all the results of the ones you hold closest giving in to their lowest selves, and because they are at their worst, the endings reflect that. That one specific, coveted ending is often remarked as "ill planned" and not necessarily thought out well from attempting to neatly tie everything back up into a happy present in contrast to the others, but as someone who's delved through the trenches of the MegaTen (Shin Megami Tensei) franchise and fandom, there is something to be said about "keeping the status quo" and it is that its delaying an ultimate inevitability. "Neutral" isn't always best or superior or a "happy ending."

>>CAST: Triangle Strategy truly is a game that has a character for everyone. It is large, but it is not skimping for quality. You will see literally any flavor of war veteran old man to pretty young adult boys that could've been a boyband in a different time to strong and independent battle women, many good and bad strong battle women, to peepaw who is probably in his 80s but is everyone's grandpa and a sniper. Each character feels like there was a level of care given into them, and even some all the more revealed after they are no longer able to. The world interacts, it breaths, and so does Norzelia's inhabitants.

For playable characters, there are 30 playable units to acquaint one's self with, each with their own unique class, weapons, and aptitudes. No one unit's development tree is interchangeable, which falls more into the category below (Gameplay), but it's also important in a way to see them as individuals. You will remember everyone's names, even with units that aren't your favorites or play style.

Outside of playable units, there still is a hefty list of important NPCs that are not any less composed, orchestrated, or of variation than our playable characters. Sometimes you will be in an instance struggling to remember what the fuck Clarus had done or who Patriette is or that Tenebris is still one of the Saintly Seven, but... the magic is in the fact that Triangle Strategy is designed to be experienced more than once to get the full effect. They too have their needs and reasons.

If you as a player want to do one run-through and call it quits, you will certainly still have an impressionable experience, but it will only grow the more invested. I didn't find it that hard because I had fallen in love with everything Triangle Strategy has to offer, so I had my own compulsion to keep moving with it, but if it doesn't ultimately strike you in that way, it is a part you will miss. But that is still okay though.

>>GAMEPLAY: Triangle Strategy is accessible for any level of strategist to stumble through with its difficulty settings. There is an Easy, Normal, and Hard mode. It's common for players to even try their hands at Hard, Deathless runs (I don't know if this is a trophy on Steam. I played on Switch). Battles have a staggering variation of difficulties and difficulty spikes, but there are ways to mediate trouble battles you can't seem to get right. Besides difficulty settings, the game also offers a Quietus mechanic which act as a one-time, additional maneuver without taking a units turn up. Quietus has limits but there's many different actions that you can always implement to save your ass. Personally, 99% of the time I forgot Quietus existed and really only used them on mock battles and final battles mostly to see what they did or save me from having to do another 1+ hour of battle or whatever. But, most battles, you can absolutely pull off without Quietus. You can pull off a number of things a first run-through that many people struggle with and/or guides will tell you to use [character or ability you don't have] or certain strategy you can't get right or whatever.

I will touch upon this again below because it is a common comment, but Triangle Strategy's main course is narrative. To experience it, you need to be ready and understand that it has a story to tell. It has multiple stories to tell, and for that you will have long sections that are mainly dialogue, meaty dialogue too. The type of player that just wants to experience battle and "raw crunch gameplay" is not going to have a favorable opinion on the game format because not all mechanics are tied profitably into battle (if anything it's the other way around). You will have battles, and you can mock battle all you want at the tavern, but story battles are sparse to keep point and potency. That being said though, voting and persuasion is a major, at the heart concept of Triangle Strategy which ties into the aforementioned Convictions mechanic because we love democracy in this House until we don't and is not convenient! Play Triangle Strategy as a story and experience, the gameplay is mainly there to support and accentuate it.

If I tried to point out every little thing about Triangle Strategy this post would be miles long. The game explains and leans into everything very well so enjoy the stuff that isn't mentioned as much in their natural habitat in a relevant way for your own interests.

There is a great "divide" amongst players on wether or not Triangle Strategy is a "good" or "bad" game, and ultimately it boils down to understand who you are as a player, as a gamer. Note your interests and what you enjoy in a game and then gauge, because despite "oh it was bad," "oh it didn't do this," "oh it didn't do X thing that's better," "oh let me romance the blorbos together" the game pulled off a lot of executional aspects really well in its own ways to be its own identity. But, to comment about the common comments:

>>"The game doesn't have enough battles"

The game has an amount of battles actually. There's one battle a chapter, which is probably the hubbub on why people might think there "aren't enough." But most routes are 20 chapters, so that's 20 battles. It's just that chapters also vary in length and some can be long. Then, there's 35 mental mock battles available in the tavern of the encampment, realistically likely only seeing ~21 of them on a first play through though.

But, battling as a mechanic I consider a secondary mechanic to its main purpose: Conviction. Because there also is a certain thing that happens also in chapters, sometimes before battles, sometimes before votes, and that's exploration. This is a way to 1) gain a sense of a map that will likely be used as a battle map somewhen in your run, but also to 2) gain more conviction. Exploration is just as much of a thing in Triangle Strategy as combat.

So, in the end, I don't think the problem here is the battles, but rather the pacing the game presents. The player will be met with an interesting experience of feeling everything is dire and needs to be handled right away, while simultaneously moving rather slow and leisurely with no way to course correct because it's not side quests holding you down but the actual main event.

>>"The demo was slow and boring"

Unfortunately, I did not play early demos, because if memory serves me correct there were multiple versions. From friends, they have said that the early demos and final products are two separate games. Do not trust.

Then, the final demo which you can probably still download on the store (I haven't checked), is its final form, but much like Octopath Traveler, the demo presented is the beginning, it's the opening. If I remember correctly the demo goes to Chapter 3, which is ironic because after then is when things start spiraling downhill really, really fast. So by then you are introduced to the major components of Triangle Strategy. You experience the dialogue storytelling, you get through exploration, there's battles, there is a voting point in which you are introduced to the infamous Scales of Conviction, so it really touches upon all of the moving bits that make the game move. You get brief understanding of the state of Norzelia, its last major conflict, and the future prospects and direction it is moving in; none of which goes in any manner on how anyone wants it to move.

>>"The story is just Game of Thrones"

There's a special secret: any medieval fantasy setting is just "Game of Thrones" because Game of Thrones is the most recent rendition that is popular among the masses. Besides general, not-at-all-surprising political maneuvering and scheming, there really isn't one point in which it's overtly cumbersome as "ripping off" the award winning novel series, because a lot also stands to fact that history is just like that too. "There's powerful Houses that everyone has to watch out for and [other thing that I won't disclose because I think you'll get a better experience not knowing]" yeah and so did regular Europe back in the day, but now it's fictional and maximized to make an interesting story. Actually, Houses and clans are still a thing, I'd imagine, but have mainly been reduced to icons (but don't quote me on that).

Conquest, wars of successions, religious wars, whatever the Boston Tea Party is, power hungry individuals, people abusing power, puppet states/nations, and a lot of other things are historical events and writing tropes to be used as narrative devices. Whatever media you have consumed beforehand effecting your vision and enjoyment is unique to each individual and only influenced by that individual.

>>"The game has terrible voice acting."

Well, first off, show some pity on the voice actors. I don't know their full conditions but also note that the artbook lists that Triangle Strategy's art production was from 2018-2022, and well, a certain pandemic happened in early 2019. It was likely by at least September 2021 that they had finalized voiced lines because teasers were going out with used tracks and lines. I don't remember when the first teaser went out, I was only alerted by several people when Benedict happened because of my character brand, and that's the moment it was over for me to be honest.

But, disregarding that, I'm no expert, but I love how some voices were done. I can still distinctly hear what Erador sounds like, like Mr. Wingert's voice greatly helped define Erador. Sure, I do recall originally opening Triangle Strategy for the first time and listening to Benedict speak and he was very.... flat, but in a very specific way. However, now in hindsight, I have a great appreciation for that because now knowing Benedict, what else was he supposed to sound like? It has a different interpretation and understanding when seeing what's attached to who and how, and in early game with a lot of characters to keep track of that doesn't always click. But, damn, if I do not mimic Lionel every time I say "yes, ha ha, yes" like that's voice acting, it sticks like a tv commercial.

Even though I have thoroughly went off in a lot of directions, I just cannot cover everything. I am absolutely open for engagement if anyone would like further discussion about anything I didn't cover or did cover. Thank you for the ask, and I hope this helped in some manner.

#long post I spend like 2 hours typing this #Triangle Strategy #kimi no #please everyone looking at this PLAY TRIANGLE STRATEGY #I am not joking this is not ironic #be informed before playing #but my GOD play it #oh god anon I could've gone off for so much more #but I like physically cannot #but PLEASE DM me if you want more direction #actually anyone DM me about Triangle Strategy #I am locked in a glass cage looking out at everyone else having fun #I know this was not answered timely #so original anon is probably already gone #but I really do hope this helps someone #forgot to address how everyone hates the name 'triangle strategy' but whatever

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akari-hope · 2 years

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people's inability to talk about situations with nuance online is causing bizarre problems yet again

#this is in regards to the person on staff #for the record: i agree it raises some questions about the type of people on staff #and it's ridiculous that staff can completely erase posts that are about a staff member but not actual t*rfs/n*zis/etc.#HOWEVER. some people have really jumped the shark.#i know there are multiple pieces of media and their politics in question but just to easily explain it #publicly liking and making content for h.p. doesn't make you a t*rf. it DOES bring into question how much of a trans ally you are.#and by making the t*rf accusation you move away from the actual point at hand - why is staff not taking action when it matters?#unless i am SUPER out of the loop and people have actually found concrete reason to accuse this person of these things #i am inclined to say 'it's a bit sketchy' and move onto the actual questions that matter #staff is fuckin sketchy like we know this but. yelling at the problem and doing nothing else doesn't fix it.

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rnelodyy · 3 years

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So I saw this tweet today, and I think the question this person poses is actually a very interesting jumping off point for analysis. I absolutely refuse to make a 100 tweet long thread about this though, so here I am, typing out my thoughts on a platform without a character limit.

(this is all /dsmp /rp, unless otherwise specified all names refer to characters, not content creators)

I wanna start off by saying that I am NOT what I would describe as a “Dream anti/hater.” I’m a MASSIVE enthusiast, he’s easily one of my favorite villains in any piece of media I’ve ever consumed, precisely because he is a smug, over-the-top asshole who will stop at absolutely nothing to get his way. It’s incredibly fun to see his antics in action, and immensely satisfying when he finally gets his comeuppance.

I’m going to first delve into the second question: what makes Dream different from other villains in other pieces of media?

Well, he’s not, not really. The way he acts and carries out his plans is unique to his character of course, but the role he fills in the narrative and the way he plays that role is a pretty common archetype, though one that has fallen a bit out of use as of late.

Dream is a Pure Evil Villain.

The video I’ve linked goes into WAY more depth, but the basics of the PEV archetype is that they:

Have no backstory (at least not one that’s relevant to the plot).

Have very simplistic goals (i.e. taking over the world, retribution for perceived slights, or just wreaking indiscriminate havoc).

Have motivations that are purely self-serving, and they’re having a lot of fun carrying them out. (That said, some PEVs had complex motivations once upon a time and may have been full-on good guys, but have long lost sight of their original goal.)

Have an unwavering sense of self-confidence, and a MASSIVE ego.

End their stories with a third-act breakdown (or as TvTropes refers to it, a Villainous Breakdown, which is a term I’m gonna keep using here because DSMP doesn’t have a three-act structure), where they crash and burn in spectacular fashion as the hero finally comes out on top.

Dream ticks ALL of these boxes.

He has no backstory or even a point of view, and even if he got one, it wouldn’t change much about how we perceive his character. We can glean his goals, motives and personality pretty well from his interactions with the people around him.

His goal is literally just “control the entire server through any means necessary,” which is why he goes to such lengths to crush his political rivals, break Tommy’s defiance against him, and create a giant fuckoff prison to throw major threats into.

He’s stated multiple times that he enjoyed watching L’Manburg get destroyed, was laughing and telling Lazar “this is the best part” while destroying Tommy’s armor in exile, and tells Tommy and Tubbo he’s “playing with [his] food, that’s the fun in it” after they lose the initial battle of the Final Disc War.

He’s nothing BUT self-confident. I cannot remember a single moment where he doubts himself or has a moment of introspection, and an insult I’ve never heard Tommy use for anyone except Dream is “egotistical bastard.”

His villainous breakdown happened at the end of the Final Disc War, when he was suddenly made powerless, none of his manipulation tactics worked anymore and Tommy was actively beating him to death. He ended up huddling in a corner, begging and bargaining for his life, before being thrown into his own prison.

(Sidenote ‘cause I know it’s gonna get brought up. Dream has claimed he just wants the server to be a happy family twice, but the context of the scenes make it obvious that you’re not supposed to take that line at face value.

The first time he said it, he was talking to Punz, his only ally at the time, while standing in front of the prison he commissioned, helped design and helped build. During that same conversation, he claimed the prison was only for the most dangerous people on the server… but also that it had twenty cells, and a main cell that could fit multiple people, when the server’s population at the time was about thirty. This conversation also took place right after Tommy ran away from exile, meaning Dream was saying this knowing he’d abused and wanted to continue abusing a sixteen year-old boy to the point where he attempted literal suicide.

The second time, he was talking to Tommy in prison, right after Tommy told him he wouldn’t be visiting him anymore, and Dream was desperately trying to change his mind by claiming he could change as a person if Tommy kept up his visits. Tommy’s response says it better than I could.

Dream’s actions speak louder than his words. He can claim he just wants a happy family, but when he’s cut off, abused, kidnapped, killed, tormented and blackmailed the people he’s supposed to care about into compliance, it becomes pretty obvious that if you don’t fit into HIS image of a happy family, you need to be locked up in a tiny box or dumped on a remote island and beaten until you’re so broken you will just do whatever he tells you to without question.)

Now, if you have a shitty literature teacher, they’ll tell you that villains NEED to be morally grey, have complex motivations and a chance at redemption, otherwise it’s bad writing. However, that’s not true. Some of the most iconic villains of pop culture are PEVs, like Bill Cipher, or Megatron, or Moriarty, or literally any classic Disney villain. It’s not bad writing, it’s just not fashionable right now. Just because other villains in the narrative ARE morally grey, doesn’t mean Dream needs to be.

It’s also become popular nowadays to have a PEV AND a sympathetic, redeemable villain working together, most often with the sympathetic villain serving under the PEV. Zuko is sympathetic and redeemable, Ozai is the PEV. Gideon Gleeful is sympathetic and redeemable, Bill Cipher is the PEV. Catra is sympathetic and redeemable, Hordak is the PEV. Nebula is sympathetic and redeemable, Thanos is the PEV.

This allows writers to have the best of both worlds; it allows for the emotional journey and incredible character development that comes with a really good redemption arc, while also having the flair and pizazz and unbridled charisma and catharsis at seeing them crash and burn that comes with a PEV. Some writers try to have both in one character, but that rarely ever goes right (like how Thanos’s goal of wiping out half the universe is supposedly to prevent overpopulation while keeping biodiversity, yet he also killed all the dwarves and tortured Eitri for no reason).

Whenever Dream teams up with another villain, he’s ALWAYS taking the PEV role.

When he teamed up with Wilbur for November 16th, Wilbur acted the way he did because he was mentally ill, suicidal and severely paranoid, convinced nobody wanted or needed him, that everyone secretly hated him, that betrayal was just around the corner, and that he was the villain of his own story. He destroyed his own creation in a fit of anguish, before committing suicide by proxy. While his behavior is largely unchanged after his revival, it’s clear he is still in a lot of pain, and there is a lot of setup for a redemption arc for him. Dream, meanwhile, fought on Schlatt’s side, egged Techno on through whispers as Tubbo was being sworn in, screamed the loudest “YES” I’ve ever heard when the TNT went off, then proceeded to place more TNT and attack everything in sight while Techno went on his rampage. When everything was said and done, he even ran over to Tommy’s house and blew that up too for good measure.

When Dream teamed up with Techno and Philza during Doomsday, Philza was clearly convinced L’Manburg was the cause of all the pain on the server and that destroying it would be the right thing to do, and used its destruction as an outlet for the grief he carried over the death of his son. While his target was misplaced, you can see how he came to the conclusions he did, and how his own biases, prejudices and boomer-ish “I am older and have more experiences therefore I’m always right” attitude cloud his judgement. Dream, meanwhile, outright admitted that he decided to destroy L’Manburg instead of burning the discs because it was just more fun that way, and said some DISGUSTINGLY creepy things to Tommy on the grid. We also know that, after Techno and Phil already left, Dream stayed behind and rained TNT down for days.

(I didn’t mention Techno here because I would argue that, in the context of Doomsday, Techno also classifies as a PEV. That’s a discussion for another time though.)

The Final Disc war, in my opinion, PERFECTLY illustrates Dream’s pure evilness. He describes himself and his actions as evil multiple times, acts completely in his own self-interest, is MASSIVELY overconfident until he’s thwarted by Punz and co, and he is, of course, having an absolute BLAST with his reprehensible actions.

Which leads me into the other question: what makes him irredeemable?

PEVs are irredeemable pretty much by definition. The combination of selfish motives, massive ego and lack of introspection makes for a character that’s EXTREMELY allergic to character development, and character development is pretty much the point of a redemption arc. It’s a MASSIVE shift in a character’s goals, ideals, morals and sometimes personality, brought on by massive amounts of introspection and self-doubt, and that’s just not something a self-assured, egotistical person who KNOWS their goals are selfish and evil and enjoys it would ever really do.

The only PEV I’ve ever seen get something resembling a redemption arc is Hordak from the She-Ra reboot.

(SPOILERS)

In season 3, Hordak meets Entrapta, a princess working for the Horde with a scientific mind just like his. As he bonds with and gets romantic feelings for Entrapta, he slowly starts to open up to her about his past, his struggles with his physical health, and how he just wants the approval of Horde Prime. When Prime eventually arrives however, his achievements are waved off, he’s deemed defective due to his physical illness, and has his memories erased. He’s eventually used as a replacement body by Prime, before openly defying Prime and hurling him off a cliff.

Thing is though, it’s not a redemption arc in that he’s instantly forgiven, or even that he’s a good person now. The princesses (sans Entrapta) look visibly uncomfortable or afraid of him, and Mermista even outright asks if anyone is gonna say something about Hordak being there during the big end-of-series celebration. Hordak defied Prime, but he’s not automatically a good guy, nor is he treated as one.

(END OF SPOILERS)

The most important point is: as soon as Hordak enters his redemption arc, he stops being a PEV. His backstory is suddenly integral to his character, his self-confidence turns out to be a farce, and while his motives are still self-serving, they’re much more complex than the generic take-over-the-world villain he was before. A redeemable PEV can’t exist, because as soon as they start redeeming themselves, they cannot continue being pure evil.

Dream has shown to be completely allergic to character development. No bargain with him has ever worked to his detriment, nobody can reason with him because he’s so set in his own ways, and he has never shown any kind of remorse for his own actions. The only person he’s ever apologized to is Tommy, and you can tell from his tone and the way he refuses to even mention specific events that he’s sorry for that it’s purely performative. Any redemption arc NEEDS to start with a villain examining themselves, or feeling remorse for their actions, or questioning their position. Dream never does that, HAS never done that, and it’s looking like he never will.

However, if you’re looking at specific actions that make him irredeemable, there’s one event that pushes him over the edge.

Because sure, some villains have tortured people, have killed people, have committed acts of terrorism, and still received redemption arcs (though there’s usually some level of coercion involved so they cannot be held 100% responsible, like they were brainwashed or acting on someone else’s orders).

There is, however, a line. TvTropes refers to this line as the Moral Event Horizon, as like with the event horizon of a black hole, once you pass it, there is no going back. Where that line is is kind of subjective, it depends on the narrative weight placed on the event, the cultural standards of the audience, and in part, the personal opinion of the viewer.

But I don’t think it’s a controversial statement to say that Dream passed the Moral Event Horizon with Tommy’s exile.

I don’t know if you’ve watched exile live, but as someone who has, I can tell you that it was fucking GRIM. People had to stop watching the streams entirely or wait for people to post trigger warnings and summaries on Twitter and Tumblr before watching the VOD, because it was legitimately triggering to some. AO3 was full of fics of Tommy being pulled out of Logstedshire by other people on the server (mostly Techno and Phil) a trembling, traumatized husk of his former self, and those were the OPTIMISTIC ones. There were jokes about Tommy’s chat getting traumatized with him, as they were constantly telling him to run, get away from Dream and hide his armor, and whenever “Dream joined the game” appeared in chat, everyone’s stomachs collectively DROPPED. The general mood in the fanbase was one of helpless panic and terror as we watched this kid be slowly destroyed in front of our eyes through physical, emotional and psychological abuse, gaslighting, and isolation. Hell, exile is the event that sparked the creation of the c!, cc!, /dsmp and /rp tags, because people didn’t want sentences like “what Dream is doing to Tommy is abuse, this is actually horrific” to make it to the wider internet without any kind of context.

Exile is one of the most narratively heavy events on the server. It changed Tommy and Dream’s relationship status from “friendly rivals” to “abuser and victim,” and completely destroyed any sense of friendship they had left after November 16th. It’s permanently scarred Tommy to the point where even now, nine whole months later, he still has self-esteem issues, depressive episodes, flashbacks, panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, and a pervasive fear of Dream breaking out of prison. It’s one of the most realistic portrayals of abuse and trauma in fiction I’ve ever seen, and it is HARD to rewatch.

But most importantly, the vast majority of people who thought Dream was in the right at the time dropped that IMMEDIATELY as soon as it became apparent what exile was REALLY about. I have a friend who was a huge sympathiser/apologist for L’Manburg and Pogtopia era Dream, but who refuses to even CONSIDER defending anything related to exile. The points about exile not being that bad, Tommy deserving it, or Dream trying to help him somehow didn’t start cropping up until MONTHS after exile ended, when memories of the events had been warped by time, fanon had blended with canon, and the horrific details had faded in most people’s minds.

There are very few outright abusive characters who have gotten redemption arcs, and those arcs are often reviled by fans. Abuse, child abuse especially, is one of those actions that make you completely irredeemable as a villain, like torturing someone purely for fun, or killing babies, or kicking dogs. Ozai’s establishing character moment is a flashback where he burns his son’s face off and exiles him for speaking out of turn, and the show makes it clear you’re not supposed to see that as anything EXCEPT revolting.

There is nothing Dream’s POV could show us that would make what he did to Tommy acceptable. There’s nothing he could say or do that would make exile okay. Exile is as low as he could morally go, and the fact that he not only has shown no remorse for it, but even seems to remember it fondly makes redemption impossible for him. What could he do that’s worse than exile? What would prompt him to feel any semblance of guilt or shame if exile didn’t spark it?

When you isolate and abuse a sixteen year-old boy, clearly have fun doing it, and feel not a single shred of guilt in the aftermath, you’re not gonna get a redemption arc, because that’s just not the kind of character you are at that point. Redemption arcs are reserved for sympathetic villains and fallen heroes, like Zuko, like Catra, like Wilbur. Even Hordak, who got a redemption arc, wasn’t an actual PEV in the end. He was a sympathetic villain in disguise, and as he shed the mask of pure evil and got some character development, the role of PEV was passed to Horde Prime.

The reason villains like Ursula, Maleficent, Bill Cipher, Cruella De Vil and Jafar are so fun to watch is precisely BECAUSE they’re unapologetically evil. The biggest criticism the live-action adaptations of Maleficent and Cruella received is that they strip that away from the characters to make them sympathetic and redeemable, and therefore - ironically - a lot more bland.

Dream’s pure evilness is what makes his character so much fun to watch. Giving him a redemption arc now not only wouldn’t make sense narratively speaking, it would actively strip away the aspects of his character that make him such a good villain! People don’t watch a PEV to see them grapple with their morality, they watch them to see them fuck shit up! A true PEV needs to be stripped of everything that makes them cool and interesting to their audience in order to even BEGIN thinking about redemption.

You can even see this happening in the way Dream is retroactively made to be more sympathetic by his apologists. There’s this running joke in a Discord server I’m in that Fanon!Dream is a fucking pussy, and that Canon!Dream would wipe the fucking floor with him, and I can’t help but agree.

There’s an idea going around that Wilbur manipulated Dream into becoming evil, that he constantly called Dream a tyrant and a dictator, and that Dream was so upset by this that he started the L’Manburg War. Except, not only does this have no basis in canon, it kinda makes Dream look pathetic, doesn’t it? Canon!Dream is a tyrannical control freak who saw some people make an area where his rules didn’t apply and decided to beat it into the ground to once again rule undisputed, not caring who he hurt or killed in the process. Fanon!Dream started a whole war because Some Guy he’d canonically talked to maybe twice and his annoying brother called him mean names.

There’s also the idea that exile needed to happen, because Dream saw that Tommy was such a destructive asshole all the time that he posed a massive threat to the server. Except… Tommy is absolutely not the most destructive person on the server. He’s loud and annoying, sure, and he could be destructive, especially in the early days where he often vandalized people’s stuff for fun. But… it never got worse than that. Was a teenager swearing at people and doing petty vandalism really such a massive threat to the server’s apparently paper-thin integrity that he needed to be taken away for everyone else’s safety? Or was it the fact that Tommy constantly called Dream out on his bullshit, refused to concede to his terms, questioned his authority, and encouraged other people to do the same?

Making Dream heroic also warps every single character around him, making them all unreasonably cruel to Dream specifically. Wilbur made him a villain for Reasons and was always a controlling chessmaster manipulating everyone around him (honestly it’s like their entire personalities switched places here). Tommy is a rabid animal only capable of destruction who needs to be kept on a leash for everyone else’s safety. L’Manburg is a xenophobic, colonialist, other buzzword empire. Sapnap and George left him because they’re bad friends, and not because he continually betrays them, uses them, disregards their wishes completely, and does nothing to refute Sapnap’s claim that he doesn’t care about them. He doesn’t deserve to be in prison, despite the fact that he murdered a bunch of people, abused a child, committed multiple acts of terrorism, and got caught red handed trying to murder a defenseless teenager while his friend watched and having a vault with everyone’s most valued possessions for blackmail purposes. Oh and did I mention the Skeppy cage?

A redemption arc for Dream would not only open up some really uncomfortable cans of worms (like Tommy suddenly being expected by fans and other characters to forgive and be nice to the man who made his life a living hell for months), it would be an active detriment to his character, because it strips away everything that makes him interesting in the first place.

If you want to watch a complex character going through a slow, painful redemption, go follow Wilbur’s storyline. If you want to watch a morally good man get beaten down by the world over and over again until he’s willing to go to even the most heinous lengths to secure his own safety and happiness, Quackity is right there. Let Dream be the guy who fucks shit up without remorse. Wilbur and Quackity can handle the emotional conflict and slow, painful spirals and roads to recovery, Dream can give us the explosions and villain speeches and the stomach-dropping terror whenever he appears on screen.

Anyway that’s my hot take, thank you for coming to my TED talk.

#dsmp analysis #dreamwastaken #c!dream #dream smp

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pumpkinpaix · 4 years

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mdzs fandom, diaspora, and cultural exchange

Hey everyone. This post contains a statement that’s been posted to my twitter, but was a collaborative effort between several diaspora fans over the last few weeks. Some of the specifics are part of a twitter-localized discourse, but the general sentiments and issues raised are applicable across the board, including here on tumblr.

If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ve probably seen a few of my posts about this fandom, cultural exchange, and diasporic identity. For example, here, here, and here. This statement more directly criticizes some of the general issues I and others have raised in the past, and also hopefully provides a little more insight into where those issues come from. I would be happy if people took the time to read and reblog this, as the thought that went into it is not trivial, and neither is the subject matter. Thank you.

Introduction

Hello. I'm a member of a Chinese diaspora discord server - I volunteered to try and compile a thread of some thoughts regarding our place and roles in the fandom expressed in some of our recent discussions. This was primarily drafted by me and reviewed/edited by others with the hopes that we can share a cohesive statement on our honest feelings instead of repeatedly sharing multiple, fragmented versions of similar threads in isolation.

This was compiled by one group of diaspora and cannot be taken to represent diaspora as a whole, but we hope that our input can be considered with compassion and understanding of such.

For context, we are referencing two connected instances: the conflict described in these two threads (here and here), and when @/jelenedra tweeted about giving Jewish practices to the Lans. Regarding the latter, we felt that it tread into the territory of cultural erasure, and that it came from a person who had already disrespected diaspora’s work and input.

Context

The Lans have their own religious and cultural practices, rooted both in the cultural history of China and the genre of xianxia. Superimposing a different religious practice onto the Lans amidst other researched, canonical or culturally accurate details felt as if something important of ours was being overwritten for another’s personal satisfaction. Because canon is so intrinsically tied to real cultural, historical, and religious practices, replacing those practices in a canon setting fic feels like erasure. While MDZS is a fantasy novel, the religious practices contained therein are not. This was uncomfortable for many of us, and we wanted to point it out and have it resolved amicably. We were hoping for a discussion or exchange as there are many parallels and points of relation between Chinese and Jewish cultures, but that did not turn out quite as expected.

What happened next felt like a long game of outrage telephone that resulted in a confusion of issues that deflected responsibility, distracted from the origin of the conflict, and swept our concern under the rug.

Specifically, we are concerned about how these two incidents are part of what we feel is a repeated, widespread pattern of the devaluing of Chinese fans’ work and concerns within this fandom. This recent round of discourse is just one of many instances where we have found ourselves in a position of feeling spoken over within a space that is nominally ours. Regardless of what the telephone game was actually about, the way it played out revealed something about how issues are prioritized.

Background

MDZS is one of the first and largest franchises of cmedia that has become popular and easily accessible outside of China. Moreover, it’s a piece of queer Chinese media that is easily accessible to those of us overseas. For many non-Chinese fans, this is the first piece of cmedia they have connected with, and it’s serving as their introduction to a culture previously opaque to them. What perhaps is less obvious is that for many Chinese diaspora fans, this is also the first piece of cmedia THEY have connected with, found community with, seen themselves in.

Many, many of us have a fraught relationship with our heritage, our language—we often suffer from a sense of alienation, both from our families and from our surrounding peers. For our families, our command of the language and culture is often considered superficial, clunky, childish. Often, connecting with our culture is framed as a mandatory academic duty, and such an approach often fosters resentment towards our own heritage. For our non-Chinese peers, our culture is seen as exotic and strange and other, something shiny and interesting to observe, while we, trapped in the middle, find ourselves uprooted and adrift.

MDZS holds an incredibly important place in many diaspora’s hearts. Speaking for myself, this is literally the first time in my life I have felt motivated and excited about my own native tongue. It's the first time I have felt genuine hope that I might one day be able to speak and read it without fear and self-doubt. It is also the first time that so many people have expressed interest in learning from me, in hearing my thoughts and opinions about my culture.

This past year and a half in fandom has been an incredible experience. I know that I am not alone in this. So many diaspora I have spoken to just in the last week have expressed similar sentiments about the place MDZS holds in their lives. It is a precious thing to us, both because we love the story itself, and because it represents a lifeline to a heritage that’s never felt fully ours to grasp.

It’s wonderful to feel like we are able to welcome our friends into our home and show them all these things that have been so formative to our identities, and to be received with such enthusiasm and interest. Introducing this to non-Chinese friends and fans has also been an opportunity to bridge gaps and be humanized in a way that has been especially important in a year where yellow peril fear mongering has been at an all-time high.

History

However, MDZS’ rise in popularity among non-Chinese audiences has also come with certain difficulties. It is natural to want to take a story you love and make it your own: that’s what transformative fandom is all about. It is also natural that misunderstandings and unintentional missteps might happen when you aren’t familiar with the ins and outs of the culture and political history of the story in question. This is understandable and forgivable—perfection is impossible, even for ourselves.

We hope for consideration and respect when we give our knowledge freely and when we raise the issue of our own discomfort with certain statements or actions regarding our culture. Please remember that what is an isolated incident to you might be a pattern of growing microaggressions to us. In non-Asian spaces, Asian diaspora are often lumped together under one umbrella. In the west, a lot of Chinese diaspora attach themselves to Korean and Japanese media in order to feel some semblance of connection to a media which approximates our cultures because there are cultural similarities. This is the first time we've collectively found community around something that is actually ours, so the specificities matter.

There is a bitterness about being Asian diaspora and a misery in having to put up a united front about racial issues. Enmity towards one group becomes a danger to all of us, all while our own conflicted histories with one another continue to pass trauma down through the generations. Many of us don’t even watch anime in front of our grandparents because of that lingering cultural antipathy. When the distinctions between our cultures are muddled, it feels once again like that very fraught history is flattened and forgotten.

Without the lived experience of it, it’s hard to understand how pervasive the contradictory web of anti-Asian and, more specifically, anti-Chinese racial aggressions are and how insidious its effects are. The conflation of China the political entity (as perceived and presented by the US and Europe) with its people, culture, and diaspora results in an exhausting litany of criticism levied like a bludgeon, often by people who don’t understand the complicated nature of a situation against those of us who do.

There is often a frankly stunning lack of self-awareness re: cultural biases and blind spots when it comes to discussions of MDZS, particularly moral ones. There are countless righteous claims and hot takes on certain aspects of the story, its author, and the characters that are so clearly rooted in a Euroamerican political and moral framework that does not reflect Chinese cultural realities and experiences. Some of these takes have become so widespread they are essentially accepted as fanon.

This is a pattern of behavior within the fandom. It is not limited to any specific group, nor does it even exclude ourselves—we are, after all, not a monolith, and we should not be placed on pedestals to have our differing opinions weaponized against one another in fandom squabbles. We are not flawless in our own understandings and approaches, and we would appreciate it if others would remember this before using any of us as ultimate authorities to settle a personal score.

It is difficult not to be disheartened when enthusiastic interest crosses the line into entitled demand and when transformative work crosses into erasure, especially when the reactions to our raised concerns have so frequently been dismissive and hostile. The overwhelming cultural and emotional labor we bring to the table is often taken advantage of and then criticized in bad faith. We are bombarded with racist aggressions, micro and macro, and then met with ridicule and annoyance when we push back. Worse, we sometimes face accusations of hostility that force us to apologize, back down, and let the matter go.

When we bring up our issues, it usually seems to come with the expectation that there are other issues that should be addressed before we can address ours. It feels like it’s never really the time to talk about Asian issues.

On the internet and in fandom spaces, Western-coded media, politics and perspectives are assumed to be general knowledge and experience that everyone knows and has. It feels like a double standard that we are expected to know the ins and outs of western politics and to engage on these terms, but most non-Chinese have not even the slightest grasp of the sort of politics that are at play within our communities. We end up feeling used for our specialized knowledge and cultural background and then dismissed when our opinions and problems are inconvenient.

As the culture represented in MDZS is not a culture that most non-Chinese fans are familiar with, we’d like to remind you that you do not get to decide which parts of it are or are not important. While sharing this space with Chinese diaspora who have a close connection to the work and the painful history that goes along with being diaspora, we ask that you be mindful of listening to our concerns.

Cultural erasure is tied to a lot of intense historical and generational trauma for us that maybe isn't immediately evident: the horrors of the Pacific theatre, the far-reaching consequences of colonization, racial tensions both among ourselves and with non-Chinese etc. These are not minor or simple things, and when we talk about our issues within fandom, this is often what underlies them. This is one of the first and only places many of us have been able to find community to discuss our unique issues without feeling as if we’re speaking out of turn.

With the HK protests, COVID, the anti-Chinese platforms of the US election etc., anti-Chinese sentiment has been at the forefront of the global news cycle for some time now, and it is with complete sincerity that we emphasize once again how important MDZS fandom has been as a haven for humanizing and valuing Chinese people through cultural exchange.

Experiencing racial aggression within that space stings, not just because it’s a space we love, but because it feels like we’ve been swimming in rapidly rising racial aggression for over a year at this point.

Feelings

This is a difficult topic to broach at the best of times, and these are not the best of times. Many of us have a wariness of rocking the boat instilled in us from our upbringings, and it is not uncommon for us to feel like we should be grateful that people want to engage with something of ours at all. When we do decide to speak up, we’ve learned that there is a not insignificant chance that we’ll be turned on and trampled over because what we’ve said is inconvenient or uncomfortable. When it is already so difficult to speak up, we end up second-guessing and gaslighting ourselves into wondering whether there really was a problem at all.

We’d like to be able to share what we know about our culture and have our knowledge and experience be taken seriously and treated with courtesy. This is a beautiful, rich world built with the history of our ancestors, one that we too are trying to connect with. When we find it in ourselves to speak up about it, we would appreciate being met with consideration instead of hostility.

We don't have the luxury of stepping away from our culture when we get tired of it. We don't get to put it down and walk away when it’s difficult. But if you're not Chinese or Chinese diaspora, you get to put this book down—we'd like to kindly request that you put it down gently because of how much it matters to all of us in this fandom, regardless of heritage.

What we are asking for is reflection and thoughtfulness as we continue to engage with this work and with one another, especially with regards to how Chinese issues are positioned. When we raise issues of our own discomfort, please take a moment to reflect before reacting defensively or trying to shut us down for spoiling the fun—don’t deprioritize our concerns, especially in a fandom for a piece of Chinese media. We promise most of us are not trying to start shit for the sake of a fight. Most of the time, all we want is acknowledgement and a genuine attempt at understanding.

Our hope with this statement is to encourage more openness and understanding between diaspora and non-Chinese fans while we navigate this place that we’re sharing. Please remember that for many of us, MDZS is far more intense than a typical fandom experience. Remember that the knowledge we have and research we do is freely and happily given, and that it costs us both materially and emotionally. Please don’t take that for granted. Remember too that sometimes the reason for our discomfort may not be immediately evident to you: what seems culturally neutral and harmless might touch upon specific loaded issues for us. We ask for patience, and we ask for sincerity as we try to communicate with one another.

We are writing this because there’s a collective sense of imposed silence—that every time the newest round of discourse crops up, we often feel as if we’re walking away having created no meaningful change, and nursing new wounds that we’ll never get to address. But without speaking up about it, this is a cycle that will keep repeating.

This is not meant to shame or guilt the fandom into throwing themselves at our feet, either to thank us or beg for forgiveness—far from that. We’re just your friends and your fellow fans. We are happy to have you here, and we’re happy to create and share and play together. We just ask to be respected and heard.

Thank you. Thank you for listening. Several of us will be stepping back from twitter for a while. We’ll see you when we get back. ❤️

* A final addendum: here are two articles with solid practical advice on writing stories regarding a culture other than your own.

Cultural Appropriation for the Worried Writer: Some Practical Advice

Cultural Appropriation: Some More Practical Advice

The thread on twitter is linked in the source of this post. Thanks everyone.

#mdzs #mdzs meta #the untamed #the untamed meta #cql #asian diaspora #chinese diaspora #race #racism #mine #mymeta #once again my tag failing me because this is a collaborative work #but! for the sake of organization #statistically average #cultural appropriation #cultural erasure #what else do i tag this im so wired

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freakygirlie · 3 years

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Hi. Itk here. Believe me, don't, doesn't matter. Thought I'd drop (after you summoned ha) by given the chaos and try to enlighten the ones who choose to believe me, as much as I'm capable of.

The first thing I wanna say is: stop trying to figure out their relationship. You most likely never will. Fans are stuck on both extremes, when the actuality of it is far more in the middle (perhaps even up or down and all around ha). It's complex and strange and not at all "normal" (as normal as they could be, anyways).

It's not as simple as "oh they're just a closeted couple who engage in bearding and have kids and behind closed doors they're just a regular, old married couple and a big, happy rainbow family".

Doesn't sound like itk info, believe me, I get that but observing the fandom I'd say it almost is because most fans simply hang on extreme simplistic ideas of what their relationship is.

Second thing I'd like to say and unfortunately seems like it's not at all obvious but: do not believe anything they share publicly. Not saying they're lying compulsively, but they are public figures and they have a lot at stake to just casually drop the actual truth of any given situation.

Just don't. The same salt you have regarding itks, have towards them. It'd do you some good...Believe me. Unless you are involved in the entertainment or political life, you cannot even begin to fathom what it's really like, the level of manipulation, falsehood and well, overall deviation of it. It's quite disturbing tbh. So just always take whatever's said and shown with a good amount of salt. With public people hardly anything is accidental or casual.

I think the most prominent question now is...Why? Why would they do something like that? Regardless if you have the ingenuity to believe the little scene they made or not...Still, the question lingers.

With my level of "in the knowness" I cannot for sure say the real reason, yet from the pieces I've collected so far, seems to be a multiple gain scheme. It was a high risk, they were well aware, and it paid out in the way they were expecting, minus small bumps here and there. But overall it seemed to have worked in their favor. How in the hell, one would ask?

Believe me, I used my best sneaky capabilities to find out exactly why but they were smart enough to keep this one locked tight, minus a few loose lips. And from those all I've heard was that "whatever the purpose was, it worked out".

As weird as it may sound to the innocent mind, it's actually not at all, given that even leaked nudes are not at all leaked or accidental, and those tend to (at least in the past) get immense amount of backlash. It's not the first time famous folks fake a fight, surely won't be the last.

A lot goes into public image, it's not black and white as "well but it looked bad on Jensen", "it looked bad on the prequel", etc. You'd be surprised as how little this truly matters given the level of manipulation they are able to pull on the public. And well, even with them...It happens all the time. Both made mistakes far worse than just "not telling my bestie about my new project" and fans would eventually let that go and put them back on the pedestal.

So just remember, always: not in the industry? then don't judge anything because you simply do not understand how it works.

Another piece of itk information I can give besides "this was planned and it worked" is: they are fine. From what I've heard they are not fighting over it or going through anything more dramatic than what they usually have been going through ever since they met haha.

So just sit back and chill out. Breathe, read fanfiction and remember that we will never truly get answers, because even what comes out of their mouths are most of the time carefully thought out and directed to have a specific meaning and effect (why do you think Jared mumbles and rambles so much?).

Another interesting piece of itk: you know how they always say they never fight? Even though that sounds insanely hard to believe even if they were just friends because who knows someone for that long and is constantly together and never fights? Unlikely, right? Yes, as obvious as that was. But unfortunately a lot of you seem to believe that, given the level of shock you had for this little twitter feud (as fake as it was). Yeah. They fight. A lot.

They fight as much as individuals in their situation would. Like I said, not at all what most people absentmindedly seem to think it is. They go through a lot. Way more than anyone who isn't in a similar situation would understand. It's messy, although they try their best to make it simpler in the ways they can.

On top of being in a very complex situation, they both have strong personalities and one of them is quite hard to "pin down". So altercations happen a lot, but they know how to deal, and they are exceptionally good at making sure that doesn't interfere in their work (oh well, at least not any work that doesn't benefit from intense emotional exchanges, anyways 😉...chemistry isn't something random, you know? haha).

I find it quite...interesting (to put it nicely) that a lot of hats easily believe they are a couple that lies constantly about almost every aspect of their lives, yet, they cannot believe they would fake a social media narrative. It makes no sense whatsoever.

It'd do you all good to be a little less tendentious and look at them as, you know...Humans? They are not what they seem to be, just as you guys also take in different versions of yourselves in different situations, they do too. And don't be so hopelessly naive to actually believe they see fans as "hashtag family". This is their work. And as grateful as they are for supporters, they certainly do not consider them family. To the point of never lying and trusting you with their life.

I'm sure they love their fans, but come on, saying they would never lie because that's mean to fans is just beyond naive. They've been doing it all along and oh, another interesting info? They don't think they're doing anything wrong.

Yeah, sounds weird, you'd think they'd feel guilty. But again, unless you were media trained, you'd never get it.

From years now if there's one consistent info I've gotten was this: they don't feel obligated to tell you anything. They believe they are doing "what they are supposed to do, the right thing for everyone involved".

So. Yeah. And hell, they are right about not being obligated to say anything about anything, I guess.

Well, I hope that was helpful or at least entertaining. It's hard to share info without accidentally making it obvious who I am for the lurkers (sure you guys were well aware that they lurk around the fandom). But it's safe because as long as I don't provide evidence, I'm fine. Just walking a thin line between sharing and not sharing something too specific that would be easy fir them to know who has that info and although they can't do anything against itks, they can manage to cut us off somehow and I enjoy having access lol, so that'd be a bummer.

Anyways, take itks and J2 themselves with a ton of salt haha! You are lovely, btw, you seem very kind and I enjoy your blog very much! much love!

itk anon everything you said was <333 and i agree with like almost all of it. very nice analysis and ask thank you ! i don't always believe everything j2 put out but the whole stunt being a false narrative just seems wrong so idk what to make of it. regardless i myself can sometimes get carried away in my star-struck love of j2. and i am a tinhat so well :) and now they look to be really good and taking a break from here was well worth it <3

''You are lovely, btw, you seem very kind and I enjoy your blog very much! much love!'' i love u so much hope u have a great day !

#anon ask #this was long jfc #ily anon <3 #j2 tinhat #prequel gate

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the-bjd-community-confess · 2 years

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I’m the anon who was baffled by the newbies not knowing you can remove the head of a doll or that eyes come out of the doll.

I’m not mad about people asking questions - PLEASE ask questions, that’s how you learn. I’m talking about people who have already bought the doll, people who have already bought and received a doll (specifically one that costs multiple hundred dollars) and are completely confused when someone tells them that they have to take the head off to change the eyes or dress the doll, or being told that the eyes are changeable. I’ve even seen ones that didn’t even know that the doll had elastic inside until AFTER they bought the doll and it arrived and they’d had it for a while (also no idea what an s hook is).

Asking all the questions (there are no dumb questions when you’re learning) before you spend the money makes so much sense to me. Hell, even like maybe not knowing everything before you purchase and then researching during the time you’re waiting for the doll to come, super normal and it makes sense to me. Not having any idea what the doll is made of, what size it is, how it works, that it’s poseable, that it’s customizable, that the wig comes off, that the head comes off, that you can change the eyes, etc etc until AFTER the doll is in your hands because you are completely confused about a wig coming off/eye coming loose/clothing not having closures, so that you’re now in a panic about your doll being broken or made wrong- bizarre and unfathomable to me.

If a bjd cost like $20 and you bought it on a complete whim on a shopping site like Amazon or something it would make perfect sense to me, but it’s not easy to find and purchase legit bjds and they’re SO EXPENSIVE and you didn’t do the most basic research? Like you saw the listing for the doll, but didn’t read the whole listing that says that the wig is not included or that it comes with “random eyes” because at least that would be a clue. That’s the problem for me. Not newbies asking questions. I literally said at the beginning of the post that I’m so so so happy to answer any question someone has (I even answer these questions I’m referring to and I’m very polite about it) I just cannot fathom people who are spending $500 on a collectible piece of plastic and they don’t know anything about what it is or what they purchased and they’ve waited at least a few months usually and didn’t think to even look into it while they waited, so that they’re left completely confused and even dissatisfied when it arrives so they post on social media in a panic.

I’m not even saying that there’s anything inherently bad about the people who do this I literally just can’t wrap my mind around it- at all. I’ve never met a single person who makes a purchase this way especially for so much money, but like I said maybe it’s because I didn’t grow up with disposable income. I’m just at a loss about it. I do not know how you can buy something that you don’t know a single thing about especially at such a high investment. It’s not even just dolls. If you bought a car and didn’t know how to drive a car, what gas is, what a steering wheel is, or how to unlock the car, I would also be losing my mind about how you could even think to spend that much money on the car- like why do you want it in the first place??? Idk. I’m not bashing newbies, I’m just honestly completely befuddled and confused by this.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #Community Confessions #BJD Newbies

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the-modernmary · 4 years

Text

my best habit || aaron hotchner x reader (prologue)

Summary: When Aaron Hotchner ended your affair with him, saying that a serial killer was going after him and his family, you were content with the idea that you'd probably never see him again. Two years have come and gone since then, but when you get dragged into an FBI investigation as a key witness, you and Hotch are forced to come face to face with all the things left unsaid.

Warnings: Age gap (15-ish years), smut, degradation, unprotected sex. This story is 18+ older. This is not a story for minors.

A/N: Hello, hello!! I figured that since I've made a writing tumblr, I should post my story on here!! This is a multichapter story, so I am very excited to go on this journey with y'all!! I already have multiple chapters written and published, so these should be coming out VERY quickly. If you don't want to wait to catch up, you can read everything I have on ao3! This chapter starts as a flashback, and then the next chapter and the rest from here on out will be actual plot!

masterlist || read on ao3

“If you were waitin’ on the sunshine, blue sky

Cheap high, lullaby

Then my best habit’s letting you down”

- The Maine, “My Best Habit”

Two years earlier

Your eyes scanned the University Ballroom, your champagne glass practically ignored in your hand. You hated all these alumni networking galas and avoided going to them as much as possible. Old, sleazy lawyers with much younger women on their arm reliving their best cases with each other and expecting all the new law students to laugh when they were able to get their defendant acquitted because of some dumb technicality. It made you sick.

It didn’t help that you were already going in with a bad attitude. Your ex-boyfriend had dropped by your apartment that morning to pick up the rest of his stuff, and he decided that the best person to help him with that was the girl he had been cheating on you with. You caught them together three weeks ago, and you had been so stressed from midterms that you hadn’t even had the chance to go out, get drunk, and have wildly irresponsible rebound sex.

But you had to suck it up for the night, at least until you were able to get the answer you came for. After that, you could go back to your apartment, replace your too tight and too short dress with some nice pajamas, and watch trashy reality TV until you passed out on your couch.

You scanned the room a few more times until you caught sight of a tall man in a dark suit leaning against the bar. Bingo. You set your champagne flute down and ran over to him as fast as your heels could take you. Once you were just a few steps away, you quickly composed yourself and walked straight into his line of sight.

SSA Aaron Hotchner rarely came to alumni events here at George Washington Law School, citing that he wasn’t even a prosecutor anymore and had much more important work to do back at the BAU, but he was going as favor to his old law school buddy. Plus, it was either coming to this or going out to the bar with the team, and seeing as he had just signed the divorce papers with Haley, he wanted to be somewhere he wasn’t going to be profiled all night. The free champagne was also a bonus.

When you saw that his name was on the RSVP list, you knew that you had to go.

“Agent Hotchner?” you asked, giving him your best straight A student smile.

He refused to look up right away, not giving you the chance to charm him. “I’m not currently on duty. If there is a case you would like the BAU to look over, that’s handled by our media liaison,” he said absently, taking another sip of champagne.

You frowned but kept your hand out for him to shake. “That’s not what I’m here for, I-” You took a breath to compose yourself. “My name is Y/N Y/L/N. I’m a first year here- getting a joint JD and masters in forensic psychology. My goal is to become a prosecutor,” you pressed, and you were rewarded when he perked up in interest. He slid his drink on the table.

“Most law firms don’t usually want a prosecutor who’s going to empathize with the person you’re prosecuting,” he mused, and shook your hand, his grip just tight enough to pass as faux politeness.

You shook your head and clasped your hands behind your back, trying to ignore how warm his hands were. “I think the best prosecutors empathize with the defendants,” you admitted. “Isn’t that how you succeeded as both a prosecutor and as a federal agent? That’s actually why I came to you, I wanted to ask you a question... about my thesis,” you added quickly, figuring that the best way to get him to talk to you.

Aaron’s posture changed from half asleep to maybe listening, and your face went red. Sure, you only came to the event to talk to him, but you never thought that you’d actually get Aaron Hotchner to pay attention to you. “I didn’t empathize with the people I was putting in jail,” he told you, his voice ice cold. “That didn’t come until I worked in the BAU, and even now, I wouldn’t call it empathy. Just understanding of how they became the type of person they are.” He leaned sideways on the bar counter and you felt yourself shrink under his gaze. You shifted slightly and felt the hem of your dress move up your thighs ever so slightly. Aaron noticed too, if the lick of his lips was anything to go by.

You took his silence as your signal to ask your question. “You offered Jessica Michaelson a lesser sentence that had her released in just three years despite the fact that she murdered her brother in cold blood in his sleep. You had the evidence, why didn’t you push for premeditation?” you asked, and his eyebrow quirked upwards. “In the case The People vs. Michaelson,” you added unnecessarily, trying to break the silence.

“I know the case you’re referring to. I was the lead on it,” he reminded you, his voice edging on dangerous. “You know, most people aren’t interested in my days as a lawyer.”

You shrugged, hoping to appear more confident than you felt. “I’m not most people,” you agreed, biting down on your lower lip. His gaze was so intense, and it was affecting you in ways you couldn’t have imagined. It was turning you on, you realized with a start. It had been a while since you had last had sex, and it was driving you only slightly crazy. “But that doesn’t answer my question.”

Aaron grabbed a champagne flute from a server walking by, and shoved it in your direction. You grabbed it cautiously. “Did you read the police report on the case?” he asked, and you nodded wordlessly, taking a sip of the champagne. The alcohol was making you bolder, and you stepped towards him. “Then you’ll know that there was very little physical evidence tying her to the muder. We chose to offer the charge that would have stuck instead of risking her being found not guilty.”

You gritted your teeth together in an effort to calm yourself down. “She murdered four people within the six months after she was released from prison,” you reminded him.

That seemed to have struck a chord with Aaron, and his steely persona seemed to fade ever so slightly. He sighed exasperatedly; you were obviously getting on his nerves. “The prints and DNA that were collected and put into VICAP when she was in prison are what got her caught in the end, and that was the evidence needed to lock her away for life. We wouldn’t have gotten those prints without her original charge. It all worked out.”

You groaned and threw your hands in the air. “You couldn’t have predicted that, though,” you argued. “And people have been found guilty with way less evidence than you had in the original case. I think you just felt bad for her, considering her brother was a real piece of shit.” You were being difficult now, you knew that. But there was something about Aaron Hotcher that was pulling you in, and you wanted to see how far you could push him.

Aaron gave you a predatory grin and he stepped towards you ever so slightly, finishing his drink. He must have had multiple drinks too, judging by the soft flush on his face. “Oh, you do?” He seemed amused now. He slowly raked his eyes from your face, down your neck, and down the rest of your body, and you forgot how to breath. You knew that it was inappropriate and that he was a highly respected FBI agent, even if he was kind of an asshole at the moment. You also knew that the two of you were crossing lines that neither of you should have even been close to, but you shivered under the weight of his gaze all the same.

You shifted back and forth, your brain trying to process what was happening. “Yeah, I do. And I know that you transferred to the FBI after Michaelson was arrested again, which makes me think that this case was your breaking point,” you ranted, your hands becoming more and more animated.

Aaron chuckled, but there was very little amusement behind it. “Are you sure you want to be a lawyer?” he asked, cocking his head to the side. “Because you’re starting to talk like a profiler.”

You arched an eyebrow at him. “No thanks,” you said firmly, and he just shrugged before making a move to walk past you. You sidestepped in front of him, effectively blocking him from going anywhere. But it was obvious that he was done talking about this.

In your mind, you had two options now. You could keep pushing him about a case that he obviously didn’t want to talk to you about, or you could switch gears in your brain and have him help you solve your... other problem. Aaron was attractive, and you were getting tired of guys your age. You noticed the distinct lack of a wedding ring on his finger, but there was still a tan to show that it had been there. So either he was recently separated or just trying to cheat on his wife. You wanted to not care whichever it was, but a pang in your heart told you to be considerate. Besides, you did not want to get involved with another cheater.

“Must be hard to be at these events without your wife here to scare off all the lonely female law students,” you mused cautiously. You didn’t want to come on too strong, but the alcohol in your system was slowly clouding your ability to be subtle.

Aaron cleared his throat, obviously taken aback by the sudden shift in conversation. “I’m not married,” he said, too quickly and too defensively. So he’s separated, you thought, and you stepped closer to him.

His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to figure out your endgame. “Well, I would love to discuss your work as a prosecutor more when there are less… distractions around,” you whispered, your words breathy. “Tell me Agent Hotchner, do I make you nervous?” You sounded a lot more confident than you felt.

Aaron just smirked and grabbed your free hand, covering it in both of his, and the action was surprisingly soft, even if it was way too late for him to try acting suave. His eyes, on the other hand, told a whole other story. His pupils were so dilated that his eyes were practically black. “I face the worst people in society on a daily basis. Desperate law students don’t make me nervous. In fact…” He stepped towards you, looking around to make sure nobody else was looking. Aaron leaned in close, his lips brushing against your ear with every word. “I think that I make you nervous. And more than nervous, I make you very excited.”

Your breath hitched as he pulled back, a smug smile gracing his lips. You yanked your hand back to preserve what little dignity you had left, but it was too late. “Now, if you would like to discuss my prosecuting career more in depth, then you can set up a formal meeting with me at the BAU,” he continued, obviously proud of himself and the effect he was having on you. He pulled out a business card and upon further instruction, you realized that it wasn’t even his. Jennifer Jareu the name read. “Our media liaison will be able to help you organize that. Now if you don’t mind, I am going to retire for the night.”

Aaron finished the rest of his drink and brushed past you while you were still trying to get your thoughts under control. “Oh, and you’ll make a wonderful lawyer someday, I’m sure of it,” he called over his shoulder, and that snapped you back into action.

You followed, running around him and cutting him off. “And if I don’t want to discuss your prosecuting career?” you asked, batting your eyelashes at him. “What if I was interested in a… less formal meeting?”

That was all the permission he needed. Aaron grabbed your hand and pulled you out of the ballroom, the two of you moving so fast that nobody in the room even had a chance to put two and two together. There was an empty hallway just next to the entrance of the room and Aaron pulled you in that direction, pressing you against the wall and kissing you fiercely the second the two of you were alone.

There was nothing gentle about the kiss, but in a strange role reversal, he let you take the lead. It’s certainly not what you expected from Aaron Hotchner who, until now, had been controlling every aspect of your meeting. You realized then that this was his way of making sure you were okay with what was happening- giving you a chance to back out and change your mind. You just answered by tangling your hands in his hair, pulling so that he was at just the right angle to kiss you.

Aaron dug his fingers into your hips, hard enough to make you gasp out. You were definitely going to have bruises the next day, but you couldn’t be bothered to care. He shoved his leg in between yours and tugged on your lip with his teeth, which made you whimper involuntarily. He smirked against your lips, obviously proud of the noises he was drawing from you. You pulled on his hair harder as a sign of irritation, but that seemed to only make him more amused as he pulled away to laugh into your neck.

“Are we just going to make out against a wall like we’re back in high school, or are you going to actually do something worth my time?” you breathe, fighting to keep your voice even and light. It only halfway worked as he dragged his tongue up your neck to your pulse point. And then he bit down, hard.

It took everything in your power to stay quiet, especially as he softly kissed the newly forming bruise. His attack on your neck was relentless as he pulled your hips and back forth against his thigh. You whimpered as you desperately tried to get any friction from the simple movement. Your skirt was now dangerously close to being pushed so far up your legs that you would be completely exposed.

You pulled away first- you had to or your legs were going to completely give out from under you. You desperately tried to get your breathing under control and, to your annoyance, he looked perfectly composed. The only thing giving him away was his slightly swollen lips.

His fingers trailed up your thigh, getting so close to where you want him. “What would you like me to do then?” he asked easily, his voice almost sounding bored. You were speechless, like your brain had just short circuited. There were a lot of things you wanted him to do, but the words were lost on the tip of your tongue. “If you want something, you have to ask for it.” That was a demand, and he punctuated it by pressing his thigh further into you. You were sure he was going to have a wet spot on his slacks. He took the hand not in between your legs and grabbed your jaw forcefully, his thumb resting on your bottom lip. “Use your words, little girl.”

You realize that the two of you were standing on the edge of a cliff, and you had the power to decide whether or not to jump over. It gave you a strange sense of power. Logically, you knew it was a bad idea. He was too old for you, obviously going through some sort of relationship trauma, and wasn’t somebody you could talk to your friends and family about. But the less rational side wanted him so badly it hurt. You wanted him more than you’ve wanted anything or anyone in a long time.

You noticed your strawberry colored lipstick was smudged ever so slightly on the corner of his mouth, and that’s all it took for you to jump off the side of the cliff. “I want you to drag me into the empty classroom just down the hall and fuck me senseless. I want you to use me,” you moan before taking his thumb into your mouth and sucking.

The look on his face is something you’ll never forget. There was a mix of shock and arousal, but also something primitive; His eyes darkened when you told him to use you, and there was a fluttering in your stomach. You couldn’t tell if it was from excitement or dread. Maybe even both.

He removed his hands from your mouth and legs, only to place his hand on the small of your back. He began walking towards the classroom you had pointed out, much too slow for your liking, but he knew exactly what he was doing. “You’re going to regret asking me to use you,” he practically growls in your ear, each word increasing your arousal. “Are you one of those lonely female law students you warned me about? So desperate and needy for a real man to bend you over a table and fuck you until you can’t walk straight? Ready and willing to whore yourself out for the first man who gives you a second glance?”

Your breath hitched as you stuttered out your answer. “Y-yes, Agent Hotchner,” you whispered as he opened the classroom door and guided you in.

As soon as the door was shut and locked, he was back on your lips again, lifting you so that you were sitting on one of the desks with your legs wrapped around his waist. “Call me Aaron,” he mumbled in between kisses, and you were all too happy to oblige.

You were a moaning mess at this point as his hands pushed your dress up to your waist. His hands and lips were somehow everywhere at once and you were so hot and all you could think about was getting your damn dress off, but Aaron seemed to have other plans.

He ran his fingers up your lace covered slit and he just chuckled into your lips. “You’re so wet for me, already,” he groaned and you let out an embarrassingly loud moan. “And I’ve barely touched you. Do my words really have that much effect on you? Do you like it when I call you a whore?”

He hooked his fingers under the waistband of your panties and quickly pulled them down. You could feel his bulge pressing against you and all you could think about was how badly you wanted it. How badly you wanted him. Your hands moved down his chest to make quick work of his belt, and his pants followed after.

“Please, please Aaron,” you begged, desperately trying to create some friction against him. His fingers tangled in your hair and he pulled your head back so that you were looking at him.

“You’re so pretty when you beg.” His fingers slowly ran up your slit, not enough to give you any pleasure. He was teasing you and enjoying every second of it. “And I wish I could take my time with you. The things I want to do to you…” Two of his fingers entered you and you cried out loudly. “But somebody could walk in on us at any second. I’m sure they can all hear you moaning like a dirty whore, all for me. But you’d like that, wouldn’t you? So desperate for my attention and approval.”

His words turned you on more than you would have liked to admit. “Yes, Aaron yes. Please-” you were cut off by Aaron curling his fingers, hitting that spot that made you want to scream out in pleasure. But all too soon, they were gone.

He inspected his fingers, which were now covered in your juices, before bringing them to your mouth. “Suck,” he ordered, and you eagerly complied, wrapping your lips around his fingers and moaning at the taste of yourself. “I’ll just have to fuck you quickly here, and then you’ll be begging for more next time,” he groaned and finally- finally- entered you.

He didn’t give you time to adjust to him, thrusting roughly into you. He removed his fingers from your mouth and brought his hand to your neck. He didn’t put any pressure, but he wanted you to know that he could and would if you decided to get mouthy with him.

Your hands gripped the edge of the desk you were sitting on, your knuckles turning white. Your eyes started to close in pleasure as his hips slammed into yours, but they shot open as he tightened his grip on your throat. “Look at me. I want to see you when you cum,” he ordered, and you nodded the best you could.

“Yes sir!” you cried out, unsure of what else to say.

Seemingly satisfied with your answer, Aaron released your throat and moved his hand down so that he was stimulating your clit. You could feel the coil in your stomach tighten as your legs started to twitch. Aaron took this as motivation to slam into you even harder, relishing each time you gasped out his name.

His pace was unforgiving, leaving you gasping for air. Keeping your eyes open was a challenge, but you were able to do it with his soft mutters of praise. “Even brats like you can be good girls,” he groaned, his thrusts becoming erratic. “You just need somebody to fuck it into you.”

You were unable to respond coherently, so you just settled on begging even more, although you weren’t sure what you were begging for exactly. Aaron seemed to know, and he sped up his fingers against your clit. You wanted to scream out for him, but your voice wasn’t working. “What did I say before?” he asks roughly. “If you want something, ask for it.”

“Please… please can I cum?” you cried out, feeling yourself getting close to the edge. “Please let me cum around your cock!”

He nodded in approval and you had to muffle yourself in his neck to keep quiet. He fucked you through your orgasm, the overstimulation almost too much, but it wasn’t long before he was moaning your name, and you felt him fill you.

The two of you stayed like that for a few moments, both breathing heavily as the situation started to sink in. You just let a guy almost 15 years older than you that you just met fuck you in an empty classroom, and you really enjoyed it. Aaron, on the other hand, looked like he was going through a full crisis.

He pulled out of you slowly, and you winced at the feeling. He pulled up his pants quickly. “Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, looking around the empty classroom. “I don’t have anything good to clean you up with.” A box of kleenex caught his eye and he grabbed a few tissues. It was better than nothing.

You chuckled nervously and waved it off. “It’s fine,” you promised, your voice coming out shakier than you expected, but he ignored you. He wiped the mess dripping down your thighs. You were cold. He must have noticed, because he took off his suit jacket and wrapped it around your shoulders.

“Are you okay?” Aaron asked softly, and it was a full 180 from the way he had just been talking to you.

“I’m great,” you admitted honestly. “Seriously, that was… great.”

Aaron smiled at you- the first real smile he had given you all night. “It wasn’t too much?” he confirmed, and you suddenly remembered what he had said to you earlier. ...then you’ll be begging for more next time. Was he planning on a next time? You wouldn’t have minded it.

You shook your head and slowly slid off the table. You took one of the tissues and wiped up the mess that was left on the table. “Not at all. In fact, I could take more. Next time.” Your voice was light and airy. Aaron watched as you picked your underwear off the floor. There was no way you were putting those back on, not when you had no idea when the floor was last cleaned.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” he teased, eyeing you carefully.

“Well I can’t keep it if I only have your media liaison’s number,” you reminded him, your eyebrow raised. Aaron chuckled and pulled out another business card, except this time it was his. You plucked the card out of his hands and inspected it carefully. “I’ll call you sometime. You can do all those other things we didn’t have time to do.” You were on your tiptoes now, whispering in his ear. “You know… my mouth can do a lot more than just ask for things.” As you spoke, you slipped your panties into his back pocket. You just laughed as you heard a soft gasp escape his lips.

You made your way towards the door, your legs wobbling dangerously underneath you. You were sure that you looked like a mess, but you didn’t care. All that mattered to you was Aaron Hotchner’s eyes glued to your ass. “Get home safe,” he told you and you let yourself smile. Maybe it was a bad idea to start sleeping with a recent divorcee, but the sex was great and you both knew where you stood with the other person. No feelings, just fucking out your frustrations and stress.

Oh yeah, coming to this event was definitely a good call on your part.

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x y/n #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner smut #my best habit #my writing

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vergess · 2 years

Note

First, rude, I'm not attacking you, and I agree with the general gist of not treating reality and fiction as equivalent. I just think you're getting very angry about something that wasn't in the post.

OP never says this is equivalent to sexual harassment, or that the manga is real life. She's saying that this isn't information the author owes you. Perhaps she meant more but I do think it's presumptuous to assume you know for sure what she meant. In my eye it's no different than assuming you know a person is evil because they consume "problematic" media: you're constructing a whole strawman based on incredibly tiny information on a person.

Even if she meant more, it's not like it's a binary subject. Can be anything from what you assume she meant to "I think the subject needs a bit of tact" (arguable) or just "I personally don't want it discussed on my blog" (also arguable). I think for 3 sentences on the internet someone can be given the benefit of the doubt. Especially considering she had the thoughtfulness to not reveal who wrote down those tags (not something someone on a moral crusade would have done).

I mean, it'll be unfair if YOU made a 3 sentence post and someone immediately assumed the worst possible take and blew up at you and made it a symptom of the whole internet.

1) It's not "rude" to respond to a faceless, nameless piece of shit making light of sexual harassment with negativity. You're the fucker that follows my blog, you should damned well know what to expect by now.

2) I am being far more polite than you fucking deserve, because I've taken the time to screenshot the OP and highlight just for you the part's where OP equates sexual harassment of real children to the fictional character. You know, since your reading comprehension is so fucking abyssmal.

Image: Screenshot of this post, highlighting the lines "comment on her underage trans' character's reproductive system" and "details of trans people's bodies" highlighted.

If your wretchedly ignorant piece of shit ass doesn't understand that publicly demanding the details of a trans child's genitalia and reproductive systems is sexual harassment then I don't know how to help you. You're at a level of ignorance that exceeds my patience to repair.

This bullshit treats the actual sexual harassment of real children as equivalent to asking a fictional character's fictional biology from the person who, godlike and omnipotent, literally controls that characters existence.

If one wants to argue that it's sexually harassing the creator of Ranma 1/2 to send in unprompted questions about implicitly sexual subjects (assuming the question was even unprompted or asked directly of the author), then sure. As a real fucking human being, Rumiko Takahashi can be subjected to sexual harassment. Her fictional characters cannot, and their ~bodies~ are not real.

The entire commentary of that post foundationally rests on the presumption that a fictional character and a real trans child are equivalent, and that asking an artist a question is therefore equivalent to sexual abuse of a child.

And you know who else wants us to believe that foundational assumption and begin harassing and attacking predominantly queer and non-white people for enjoying art?

Fucking antishippers with their wretched little child-raping death cult.

Maybe the OP isn't actively a member of said cult.

But OP certainly fucking does use their rhetoric and further their goals, so I don't care.

Stop. Equating. Sexual violence. Against children. To fucking. Comic books. You nasty little piece of shit.

3) If I made a ~3 sentence post~ that managed to so concisely delegitimize real victims of childhood sexual harassment and abuse by comparing real sexual harassment to fucking comic books, while also aggrandizing myself as the morally superior agent for doing so, while also managing to support the goals of a violent cult that has killed and raped multiple children, a cult which I know for a fact exists because I've literally discussed them before?

And then people got pissed at me for it?

I would fucking consider the impacts of my actions on other people.

In a shocking twist, this is in fact something I actually have had to do in life.

It's also clearly something your stupid ass lacks the capacity for.

4) Fuck you.

5) You get one more ask, just in case you'd like ~additional clarifications.~ After that, I will be blocking your cowardly grey-faced anonymous stupidity.

Stop wasting my time acting like comic books and the sexual harassment of children are equivalent things which can and should be discussed interchangeably, you fucking cretin.

#Fuck off you stupid little shit

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get-shiggy-with-it · 3 years

Text

Ch. 4

18 + Minors DNI Please Check Rules Before You Follow

Pairing: Tomura Shigaraki x fem!Reader (brief reference to Dabi x Hawks)

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: smut, allusion to nausea (once), brief sacrilegious language (dabi), mentions of alcohol (dabi), mentions of smoking (dabi), dabi is just a whole warning of his own, gender neutral pronouns for reader, fem cause they're called a woman as an insult, Shiggy is an asshole, grinding, degradation,

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6

Summary: In which a project is completed and a new one begins

AO3 Mirror

Taglist: @dillybuggg (shoot me an ask if you want to be tagged)

Your project was almost complete.

In some ways, it sort of felt like the end of an era. To Tomura, who was a creature of habit by nature, it was doubly strange to imagine no longer spending hours a few days each week locked away in your little study room with you bugging him to teach you simple html and him not-so-discreetly sniffing your hair.

He still hadn’t asked you out or whatever he’d been trying to do, much to Dabi’s chagrin. And because of this, Tomura was consistently plagued with the feeling of time running out.

You were supposed to meet today for probably the last time seeing as the presentation was coming up at the end of the week. He knew it was now or never at this point. If he didn’t fucking say something now, he never would and then he’d have to live with the same his roommate wouldn’t let him live down.

So instead of heading directly to the library after class, Tomura took the old route back to his apartment and shot you a quick text—praying to the fucking boner gods, as Dabi called them, that you’d take the bait.

would you mind putting the finish touches on shit at my place?—

there’s some parts i gotta do from my desktop—

That wasn’t completely a lie. It was nicer working from his pc setup, but before he wouldn’t have let you come anywhere fucking near there. Not until he’d finally accepted that you’d wormed your way into his brain somehow and he couldn’t live another day not knowing what your tongue tasted like.

bitch (endearing):

—no problem

—what’s your address?

Tomura’s heart fucking pounded mercilessly against the bony prison of his ribs. It wasn’t like he was a stranger to some good old fashioned anxiety, but he’d never felt a strange stirring in his stomach quite like this. Like he might puke, but in a good way.

He quickly sent back his street and apartment number, and waited on the corner until you texted back that you’d be there in an hour before he rushed inside.

“What the hell are you doing, creep?!” Dabi snapped at him when he burst through the door and yeeted his backpack onto the kitchen table.

Tomura didn’t answer, just made a beeline for the bathroom and slammed the door. He doused himself in record time, unbothered by the hot water causing red, patchy flare ups to bloom over his skin. He was almost disgusted with himself for putting in this much effort for someone like you. Someone being definitely kind of a slut if the way you dressed was a good indicator. But he just kept thinking about the way your hair or skin smelled so goddamn good when you leaned in close and he wanted you to be obsessed with him in the same way. Wanted you to want to bury your face in his neck and breath him in.

When he stumbled out into the hall moments later, towel drying his hair roughly, Dabi was taking a shot over the sink.

He looked at Tomura like hell had frozen over.

“Two showers in like a month?” he mused, sucking his teeth as the alcohol slid down his throat. “What’s the occasion? The fucking, second coming of Christ?”

“Well the bitch is coming over so…”

“Oh, that is a fucking miracle,” Dabi whistled and knocked back a second shot.

Tomura glared, stepping into his room and tossing his towel aside to tug on his nicest pair of black joggers and t-shirt that gapped a bit at the front, showing off a large expanse of his chest. It made him a bit nervous even just looking at his reflection but you definitely stared the few times he’d taken off his hoodie while you were working, so the risk seemed worth the reward.

“Yeah, well you’re gonna have to piss off for the night,” Tomura shouted into the kitchen as Dabi sauntered over to lean against his doorframe.

“You know, I conveniently do have a dick appointment with my own bitch, but now I don’t want to go.”

His tone was teasing, eyes hooded and clearly enjoying how flustered Tomura was already before you’d even gotten here. Tomura moved to snatch another pillow and do battle but Dabi raised his hands up quickly in defeat.

“Oh no, no, I just fucking did my hair for this Keigo asshole you are not gonna ruin it with that petty shit,” he shot back and disappeared somewhere into his own room. “I’ll be out of your greasy ass hair don’t worry.”

Tomura seethed and bit back of reply of his hair for once not being greasy as hell, but the multiple cum stains—both his and his nasty fucking roommates—marring the comforter caught his eye.

“Ugh,” he mumbled and balled the whole thing up, shoving it under the bed and spreading out one of his merch blankets from that manga you both liked.

Hopefully you wouldn’t think that was too cringey, but he had definitely seen your room plastered with merch in the background of your social media profiles which he totally did not stalk at all and maybe jerk off to on occasion.

The rest of his room was quickly cleared by a combination of shoving random crap into his closet and filling up their recycling bin to the brim with empty energy drink cans. He tackled the kitchen next which wasn’t as hard as he’d expected. Neither he nor Dabi cooked all that frequently, so the dishes weren’t an issue and the vague, lingering smell of whatever the fuck Dabi had been smoking early was cleared out a bit by leaving the balcony door ajar.

He checked the time on his phone obsessively, about ready to pound on Dabi’s door and throw him out on the step when the man in question emerged on his own—black platform boots donned with his ass hugging ripped jeans and a loose tank top.

He had on fucking eyeliner.

God and he thought Tomura was being desperate.

“What? Wishing you’d locked this down first?” Dabi sneered, grabbing his jacket from the rack and shoulder checking Tomura on his way to the door.

“I—” he stammered for a second, bristling as Dabi towered over him a bit in those fucking boots. “No, asshole, just leave before they get here.”

But at the exact moment that Dabi rolled his eyes and flung open the door, Tomura’s phone buzzed in his pocket. Looking up in mingled horror and embarrassment, he watched the door hit the wall and reveal you, a little more casually dressed than usual looking stunned as Dabi grinned down at you with pierced lips.

“Hi, I’m-” you started but Tomura’s live-in nightmare cut you off.

“Oh I know who you are, dollface,” Dabi wiggled his fucking eyebrows at you, clearly playing up the dramatics as much as possible to a degree even Tomura didn’t think he could pull off. “Name’s Dabi—”

“Uh, yeah and he was just leaving,” Tomura hissed and placed his shoulder firmly in the center of his roommate’s back, launching him onto the welcome mat as you side-stepped through the door.

“Yeah, see ya later creep,” he fucking winked as the door slammed shut in his face.

Tomura’s cheeks burned in the following silence which was only broken by your quiet chuckle. He noticed you did that a lot. Laughed at things without even thinking about whether it would sound weird.

“He seems like a lot,” you mumbled and glanced around at the living room/kitchen/foyer of his tiny apartment.

“Yeah…”

He thought he might feel the same sort of disturbance he usually did when Dabi brought his dates home but you seemed to fit easily into the space, unobtrusive but bright against the dingy walls.

“So, should we get to it?” you asked with a wry smile, spinning to face him and silhouetted by the sun set filtering in past the balcony.

He may not have felt the usual discomfort of intruders in his space, but his hands shook where he clutched at his thighs nonetheless. And just like always, if you noticed the bunched up fabric and the not so slight tremor in his bony arms, you didn’t say a thing about it.

You looked so good propped up on his bed, back against the wall and legs dangling off the sides as the now strangely comforting sound of your furious typing filled his room. It had been a few hours now, and Dabi had been true to his word, seemingly gone until tomorrow morning. The room was illuminated only by your screens and his small desk lamp that lit up your legs like a stage spot light.

His mind fogged over more than once with the fantasy of laying in between them.

“I just shared the final bit of script,” you said, breaking the comfortable silence.

The notification pinged at the top of his screen and he hummed in acknowledgement, plugging in your last pieces of text and saving the program.

And just like that.

It was over.

“I think we’re done,” Tomura whispered.

He didn’t really mean to say it so softly, but it felt strange to talk at full volume so he rasped out the words, knowing you wouldn’t care how shitty his voice sounded.

There was a creak and soft footsteps behind him as you shuffled off the bed and over to his desk. Your hands rested way too close to his shoulders than necessary while you leaned over his chair to look at the finished product.

It was still a little rough around the edges but Tomura found himself feeling a swell of satisfaction now that it was complete. All things considered, you’d come up with a pretty damn good concept and he liked knowing he played a role in helping it come to fruition.

The piece you picked was weird as shit. Some political satire about eating babies, lots of juxtaposition about the private life versus the public self and some bullshit rants on the nature of humanity blah blah blah.

It actually reminded him of you a little bit, now that he thought about it as he took advantage of you position to stare intently at your eyes scanning the screen. Not the eating babies thing, but the whole private self stuff.

In the half semester he’d spent locked away with you in quiet rooms and noisy, dimly lit basements, he could see such a stark contrast between the you he’d known from class all those weeks ago and the you currently sighing in relief over his shoulder.

Softer, more real—not so Stacy, bimbo, pick me slut like he’d always imagined you to be.

“Damn, we did it my guy,” you nodded, clearly impressed with yourself and him as well, which had Tomura’s chest puffing out just a bit under the attention. “I could fucking kiss you, I thought we’d never get it done.”

You turned to him, eyes closed in a half laugh but Tomura was so far from laughing. Cause you were really, really fucking close and he could smell you again and you’d been chewing that fucking gum cause it was hot on your breath. He knew, he really did, that you were kidding, that this was just a thing people said when they were relieved but he couldn’t help the weird, deer in the headlights stare that his face froze in.

Blinking, you raised your eyebrows at him questioningly when he didn’t make some crude comment about your chest brushing against his arm or shrug you off like he might have before.

And then you got this knowing, little mischievous look that reminds him far too much of Dabi for a split second before you pressed your face just an inch closer.

His eyes flicked down instinctively to your lips and his face burned when realized there was no way you didn’t see how he looked at you. Shockingly, despite the churning in his gut and the shaking in his legs, Tomura leaned forward just a bit too, working up enough scant courage to maybe close the gap. But then you started laughing?

It bubbled up quietly in your chest, more of a giggle than anything else.

You were laughing and shaking your head and his stomach fucking dropped to the ground and his face was on fire cause you were laughing and that meant he’d been fucking played like a goddamn fiddle but—

But then you gave him this faint smile and you weren't laughing anymore, because you were kissing him.

You were fucking kissing him.

Which, while yes he had set out to have this be the end goal of the night, he hadn’t actually believed it would ever happen. He’d never felt it in his bones like he thought he was supposed to.

And holy shit your lips were so soft??

So soft and smooth with no cool, sharp metal poking or pulling at the splits on his. It was like fucking crack, or what he imagined crack might be like with the way your mouth just glided against his. It was so easy to follow you, which was good cause he didn’t have a goddamn clue what he was doing for the most part. But you made it feel simple, and you even ran your tongue over the little scar that bisected his lips in this painfully adorable way that had Tomura pitching a tent in his pants like lightning.

God and when you pulled back and just enough to look at him again:

It was like every one of those cutesy, shojo manga suddenly made sense. The panels where the main characters look at each other and flowers bloom off the fucking page while they stare with those dark, hungry eyes—

Yeah.

Yeah he got it now.

And he was gonna ride that wave while he had it. So Tomura steeled himself and surged forward, grabbing both your arms and smashing his face much less gracefully against yours. He stood and you straightened with him, that same half giggle slipping out in the gaps where your lips parted on his as he clacked your teeth together and pulled back at the jarring sting.

“Eager are we?” you had that stupid smile on your face again but he honestly didn’t care anymore if it was an act or if your face really just looked like that with no fucking ulterior motive.

“Shut up,” he muttered, trying to catch your lips again and you mercifully let him.

Tomura nearly fucking came in his pants when you licked into his mouth and oh fucking god he really could taste the gum and that loud ass shit you were always drinking. Dabi was right, this was a fucking miracle.

Did other people always taste this good or was it just you?

He responded enthusiastically to say the least, sucking your tongue into his mouth and letting out a choked little noise when you prodded the back of his teeth. The movement of your legs, pulling him back towards the bed went mostly unnoticed until he felt himself tipping forward, landing with a thump on top of you as you both tumbled onto his mattress.

Tomura’s lips wondered boldly down your throat, smelling the soap or lotion or whatever the hell made you so fucking baby smooth compared to him and he actually growled into your nape when you laughed again.

“God, what the fuck is so funny?” he sounded muffled from where he was tonguing at the fleshy joining of your neck and shoulder.

“Sorry, sorry,” you pressed your lips against the peeling crown of his head and that alone made up for the interruption, “I’m just basking in the glory of being right.”

“About?” Tomura nipped at your skin once before lifting his chin to rest on your sternum.

“I just always thought you were sorta into me, but it was hard to tell cause you’re so quiet about that kinda thing.”

“....oh,” he didn’t really have an argument for that so he didn’t try to fight you.

“Did you think I didn’t notice all the convenient excuses to touch me or like the fact that you’re mean as shit to everyone else but me?" you asked not unkindly as you stroked a hand through his hair, frizzy from being left to air dry. “I also got the vibes you thought I was a slut anyway and it wasn’t super clear if that was a turn on or not.”

He cringed a bit at the blatant way you acknowledged all ruder inner monologues about your character.

“Well, I did a bit initially,” Tomura glanced off to the side, suddenly finding the chipping paint much more fascinating. God he really wanted to get back to the good stuff. “But I don’t now…”

“Oh no,” you cupped his face, running a thumb against the cracked skin on his cheeks and didn’t cringe when the drying skin flaked onto your shirt, “that was a pretty astute assumption.”

“Uh, what?”

He felt his draw drop and you dipped your thumb past his front row of teeth, toying with the pooling saliva.

“All the better for you though,” you continued dragging his chest against yours so he could feel your nipples through his shirt, “cause that just means I know how to show you a good time, and I get the feeling you’ve never had that happen before.”

You punctuated your words with roll of your hips against the fucking iron rod in his pants. The noise that left Tomura was inhuman.

He thought back to the day you got partnered with him. How he thought it would be a fucking nightmare and Tomura wanted to let the record show that he officially retracted that statement. This was in no uncertain terms, actually a wet dream come true and he was sure Dabi would never fucking believe him unless he walked through the door right now.

“That works,” he stuttered around the finger in his mouth and you reared up to wrap your legs around his waist.

Your lips found his again and he hummed in approval only cut off as you rolled so he was laying back and looking up. When you pulled back, he shivered at the way you raked your nails over his chest.

“So, you gonna tell me how much of a disgusting whore you think I am?”

#tomura shigaraki x reader #shigaraki tomura x reader #shigaraki x reader #tomura imagine #tomura x reader #tomura shigaraki x you #dabi #bnha fanfiction #bee.writes

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cockroachmotherfucker10 · 4 years

Text

PRIDEFALL UPDATE: real or fake?

What is Pridefall?

Operation Pridefall, also known as Project Pridefall or simply Pridefall, refers to an attack planned by /pol/ (a political discussion board on the anonymous website 4chan) for all of June, AKA Pride month. The original 4chan thread, which has since been deleted, was primarily focused on “redpilling,” i.e. spreading queerphobic propaganda to make people question the LGBTQ+ community. However, now that it has spread outside 4chan, there are threats of harassing, doxxing, and outing queer people (especially minors) on social media, spamming gore and rape videos in private messages and Pride tags, and even kidnapping, assaulting, or killing queer people in real life.

Specific targets include Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and dating apps. The goal is to go after smaller accounts so the queerphobia isn’t lost in the comments.

Is Pridefall real?

Yes and no.

I searched “pridefall” on 4chan last night. Apparently any new threads on it are being deleted, and anytime someone mentions it, everyone calls them slurs and says no one is doing it.

However, Pridefall is gaining some traction on Instagram--I have seen it for myself. I don’t have TikTok or any dating apps, but I’ve heard that some people are spamming homophobia on TikTok. As for Twitter, I only looked briefly, but I saw some Pridefall accounts there, as well as a lot of warnings and blocklists from people who are worried about it.

I’ve also heard that there have been a few Reddit and Discord raids, and that there is an Operation Pridefall Discord server (someone who spied on them says they have been banned on Discord as well as a platform called Riot before, so very few people are left on the Discord server now).

What do you think, Lia?

This is not coming from 4chan. No one on 4chan is interested anymore.

Most likely, people outside of 4chan heard about it and decided to take matters into their own hands.

The original 4chan thread wanted to make Pridefall “normie-palatable” by avoiding Nazi imagery or other overt unpleasantness, but I have seen a LOT of both on Instagram. This reinforces my belief that 4chan isn’t doing this.

A lot of the people behind this are young, or at least unsophisticated. Most of the Pridefall accounts on Instagram engage in very childish trolling, and one of them said they were a minor. Some of the threats I’ve seen are so outlandish that I can only imagine they came from a fairly young person.

My guess? Most of these people are around 13-19.

There are also very few of them and some of them probably have multiple accounts. Anti-Pridefall accounts outnumber them by far.

However, on Instagram I’ve seen Pridefall accounts following each other and commenting on each other’s posts, so there may be a few groups working together.

A lot of this shit is going to get deleted. I know Instagram is working through reports very slowly right now because they have fewer people available due to COVID-19, but most of the worst accounts I saw last night were deleted by this morning. I saw some more accounts deleted today.

Most, if not all, of these Pridefallers are just trying to scare us. Because they’re probably quite young, there’s very few of them, their accounts keep getting deleted, and law enforcement can track online activity, there is no way they have the balls or resources needed to coordinate major attacks.

There is a very, very slight chance this could spill over into real life, but as long as you practice basic online safety, you will be fine.

That being said, if you are threatened or doxxed by a Pridefall account, PLEASE contact the police. Better safe than sorry.

I do think that the threat of being doxxed or outed is more real than the threat of being attacked. I have already seen one Pridefall account who posted a trans boy’s address on Instagram (he is okay, he posted recently) and another who posted someone else’s address.

There is little chance this will last throughout Pride month. Apparently the goal is for Pridefall to worsen until the end of June, but given that this is most likely just some vastly outnumbered teenage trolls who are bored in quarantine, I seriously doubt they’ll be able to stay interested for a whole month.

This might not be as big on Tumblr. Tumblr is a lot more anonymous than, say, Instagram, which will hopefully deter would-be doxxers. It’s also known to be a highly liberal and queer-friendly site, so any Pridefaller with half a brain cell should know that A) their content is sure to be outnumbered and reported (only us Tumblr users know how bad staff is at deleting questionable stuff), and B) anyone with the original goal of “redpilling” is sure to fail here. Plus, I only remember seeing few, if any, mentions of Tumblr on Pridefall planning threads.

Still, expect to see some Pridefall activity here. Unsurprisingly, not all of these Pridefallers have half a brain cell. Some of them will definitely be unable to resist the lure of a community as openly queer as Tumblr, and we’ve all seen or heard about doxxing, harassment, gore, Nazis, and queerphobes on here. Also, 4chan has historically had some beef with Tumblr, so young teenage boys who idolize 4chan may target us for that reason.

How can I stay safe?

If you have any social media accounts where you A) have posted identifying personal information, and B) are openly supportive of the LGBTQ+ community (especially if you’re queer yourself), put them on private for June. Any other accounts are probably fine to stay public.

If you need a private Tumblr, you can make a password-protected secondary account and only share the password with mutuals you trust.

It is probably okay to be openly queer on a private account (e.g. have pronouns/rainbow emojis in your Instagram bio), since a private account is not likely to be doxxed. But if you want to be extra careful, remove queer identifiers from anything that is publicly visible.

Use Pridefall blocklists. They’re all over Instagram and Twitter. I may repost some here.

Report any Pridefall accounts you see. This is VERY important because this is how we can actually get rid of Pridefall content.

DON’T RESPOND TO ANY PRIDEFALLERS WHO PERSONALLY INTERACT WITH YOU. I know it’s tempting to give a snarky reply, but if they message you, comment on your post, etc, just block them. Seriously, don’t feed the trolls. It's exactly what they want.

Make sure your password game is strong. Use a different password for every site (I know, I know, it sucks), and use passwordmeter.com to test their strength. Write them all down on a piece of paper.

Make sure your username game is strong. Don’t use the same username for multiple sites, and avoid putting personal information in your username, such as your name or birthday.

Do NOT open random links!! Pridefallers could message you links that will give you viruses or track your IP address.

Don’t accept DMs or follows from people you don’t know. Pridefall accounts don’t always look like Pridefall accounts. Some of them are undercover.

Use a VPN. This is probably a little overkill unless you’re particularly at risk of being doxxed, but it will hide your IP address.

Be careful who you interact with. A lot of queer people on Instagram are DMing Pridefall accounts or commenting on their posts, but this could make you a target. As helpful as anti-Pridefall accounts are, you might even be targeted for following those.

Be wary of Pride tags. Unfortunately, a lot of Pridefall accounts plan to infiltrate tags commonly used by queer creators during Pride month. Use discretion when looking for queer content.

Be safe IRL. Lock your doors, lock your windows, be aware of your surroundings, don’t walk alone in poorly lit places, know basic self-defense, etc. Again, I absolutely do not think people will be attacked in real life, but you should be doing this shit all the time, not just in June. Thanks to COVID-19, you’re safer inside anyway!!

Make yourself hard to dox. Even though I have a very unusual first name (it's not really Lia), I am extremely hard to find online. I just went into an incognito browser window and searched my first and last name in quotation marks, but I didn’t find myself until page 4 of Google (and that result wasn’t even posted by me). I’m only half as careful as I could be, but here’s some of the things I do:

-I never use a picture of myself as my profile pic, except for Facebook and Instagram, which are both on the highest privacy settings possible.

-If I post identifying information on a public account (my college, my age, etc), I use a pseudonym or my first name only.

-On Instagram, I only use my first name, and I used special characters to type it, so you won’t find me if you search my name.

-On Facebook, I only accept friend requests from people I know. Most, if not all, of my Instagram followers are IRL friends, friends of IRL friends, and trusted Internet friends.

-If I’m really being paranoid, I’ll make a brand-new email account to sign up for a site. That way, my accounts aren’t all linked through one email address.

-Before I post a picture online, I delete the EXIF data with verexif.com, since EXIF data can hold GPS coordinates.

🌈 Stay safe, everyone.

You will not be harmed. You will be okay. Like cockroaches, we are survivors, and we will get through this!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

-Mod Lia

#mod lia #og post #og post cmf #pridefall #operation pridefall #pride fall #pride #pride month #lgbt #lgbtq #gay #safety #psa #please reblog #pride 2020 #lgbtqia #lgbt pride

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reflectionsofneptune · 4 years

Text

little things I associate with the Mercury signs.

Little dreamy, abstract things I associate with the Mercury signs in Astrology.

Aries Mercury

Authoritative. When I want something, I make it clear. Crystal clear. No beating around the bush. A forceful way of speaking. Don’t talk about it, be about it. Short sentences. A hint of arrogance. Competitive edge seeping through my words. What can I say, I like to be a winner? At all times. A raspy voice. Adopting a youthful charm when it suits me. Attuned to perceiving danger in my environment. Disliking an over-emphasis of niceties in conversation. Keeping it real. Exercising to clear the mind. Pep - talks. The rev of an engine. Pedal to the metal. Talking to me, I need you to bring your A Game and something new. Conversation needs to be stimulating.

Taurus Mercury

Savouring. Words need to be savoured. Like beauty, they only get better with age. Listen carefully and hear what I stand for. Slowing down. Something about the handwriting. Cursive. An even tone. Words flow out of my mouth like maple syrup oozes down the height of a stack of fluffy, warm pancakes. Stubbornness. When am I ever wrong? Pictures, or it’s not real. Proof being recognised from what my base senses pick up. Inspiration from nature. A level-head. Choosing to see the beauty in my environment. For better or for worse. Don’t be fooled by my lack of conversation, I peep everything.

Gemini Mercury

Riddles. I’m not going to tell you the answer but the curve of my lip might reveal itself when you’re getting close. Starting one conversation with one subject. Finishing the conversation with a completely different one. Playfulness. Humour as a tool of deflection. Quick texts. Leading conversations. Making a best friend in the supermarket. Another one, on the bus. Seeing the duality of things in my environment. Information is like crack. I can’t get enough. Multiple tabs, open. Nervous energy. Fiddling. Mimicking your mannerisms if I like you, verbally ripping you apart if it tickles my fancy. Or not, I get distracted quite easily so you may be let off the hook.

Cancer Mercury

Introspective. Thinking about the past. Sometimes not finding my way back to the present. Emotions filtering through my words. Perceptions are protective. A vintage film, the introduction devoid of colour. An interest in knowing where one comes from, what comforts someone. Needing to cleanse myself of everybody’s emotional baggage. Again. Pathetic fallacy. Finishing your sentences. Promise its not on purpose. Wanting security from my environment. A psychological slant to conversations. A rich inner imagination. A diary, signed, sealed and under my pillow. Withdrawing into the cocoon of my thoughts when I feel threatened.

Leo Mercury

Commanding. A leadership position sounds good to me. Confidence in my thoughts. Words that can brighten up your life. Disney movies. Teasing conversations. Class clown. My thoughts are copyrighted. Bluffing. The curve a chest, puffed out to its maximum, makes. Talking loudly so I’m sure you hear me. Describing something in such detail, so you can feel as if you were there. Piping hot tea. Intellect and ego tied together. Creativity expressed through speech. Seeing my immediate environment as a stage. Conversations in the mirror. The little grooves formed at the corner of the eyes when the smile is genuine. Blowing my own trumpet because if I don’t, who will?

Virgo Mercury

Organised. Seeing flaws in my environment. A to-do list, covered on both sides. Polite but not foolish. The spine of a book, crease free. Stepping back in conversation. The few creases that appear on the skin when a nose is wrinkled. Monotone. Advice given freely. Or withdrawing all help if I see it going through one ear and out the other. Discernment in conversation. Sticky notes. Attuned to see the bullshit in conversation. In life. Helpful suggestions. Take it or leave it. Mind feels like a hamster wheel. How do you turn this thing off? An upward line of a tick, in red. Not an excuse, but know that the harder I am on you, the harder I am on myself really.

Libra Mercury

Flirting. Feels as natural as breathing does. A sweet talker. The stem of cherry. A gentle lilt that comes alive in conversation. A fickle mind. Forever weighing up the pro’s and cons. Birdsong, cutting through morning dew. Wanting peace from my environment. Trying to maintain peace in my environment. A white flag fluttering in the wind, atop a hill. Indecision feels paralysing. Waiting for you to finish speaking before I provide an opposing point of view. Feigning innocence. Learning about myself through conversations with others. Sometimes not liking what I see. 3 sides to a story. I am capable of a decision, I just feel better when the internal scales of my thoughts are balanced.

Scorpio Mercury

Power. Power plays in conversation. Checkmate. Words are comparable to pieces on a chessboard. Not a fan of small talk. Unless it’s for my benefit. Intuition on point. And then some. Probing. Trust issues. Talking to someone for a minute but deducing years of their life from a single meeting. Burner phones in a drawer. The eerie silence that comes around, say 4 AM. Secrets, mine and yours, help me fall asleep at night. Receipts for weeks, days and months. I’ve got it all. Past hurts cut deep in my psyche. Eyebrows pulled together. Pretending to be deaf when convenient. Subject changes. A full stop. Knowledge is power. I am capable of sharing intimate details of myself…..you first though.

Sagittarius Mercury

YOLO. Sending those kinda texts to the wrong group chat by mistake. Saying what we were all thinking, even if it’s not the ‘right’ time, ‘cos fuck it. Slidin’ in the DM’s. Popping up like it’s nothing. You know me. Is time even real? The underside of a desk, covered with tags, love notes, and condom wrappers. Going off on social media. For a good cause, most of the time. Falling back on spirituality when life gets tough. Thought patterns are expansive and influenced by cultures and theories different than mine. Appreciating the differences in life. In people. Gift of the gab. That person who’s laughing when no one else is. Believing in abundance because that's what my environment reflects back to me. Stretching the fine line between truth and fantasy…….’cos fuck it.

Capricorn Mercury

Blue ticks. Time is of the essence. Thoughts are disciplined. A 3 tier desk organiser, stuffed to the brim with documents. Elocution lessons. Did you know I used to stutter? Deadpan jokes. A raised eyebrow. Judging people. We all do it, it’s innate to us. Keep your friends close. Enemies closer. Voicemail. I don’t need people to like me, but respect me is all I ask. A calculating mind. Always planning ahead. Sudoku puzzles. People give themselves away all the time, you just need to listen. Believing people’s actions over words. Thoughts focused on external recognition became a burden I often didn’t ask for, weighs me down.

Aquarius Mercury

Observant. Seeing the subtle layers that make up human behaviour. People are fascinating. A 360 way of looking at things. Reverb on an electric guitar. Solution-focused. A finger on the pulse of undiscovered knowledge. Static from a radio dial. I’m not afraid to question everything. An outdated statue, tipped. A love and hate relationship with time. Flashes of intuition. Needing time to process thoughts. A cool perspective. Shades of sunglasses, tinted yellow. Including people I’ve never met in my thoughts. In my dreams. My wishes. A Brave New World? I’m still waiting for people to step up and take responsibility.

Pisces Mercury

The red and white swirls of a helter-skelter ride. The path connecting my thoughts and my words is a little beaten. But not many people have bothered to venture this way. Pillow talk during the day. Drifting off in conversation. Overspilling in conversations. Or people, overspilling details of their life onto me. Missing appointments. Two circles merging into one if you stare long enough. Tapped into Source. Weaving you a dream with my words so good, I start to believe it. The afterword in a novel. Doodles in a margin. Sensitivity in conversation. Picking up a million and one signals from my environment. Using music to lose myself and ironically, find myself in the end.

————

| little thoughts about venus placements

| little thoughts about the mars placements

| little thoughts about the saturn placements

#astrology #astro #mine #zodiac #zodiac signs #mercury #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquairus #pisces #astrology observation

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writing-gifts · 4 years

Text

both sides of the viewfinder chp. 1

adult film star!bruno x afab!reader (they are also gn)

this is 18+ content

summary: Bruno's interested in you and you're interested in him. It's only a matter of time.

chapter 1 || chapter 2 || chapter 3 || chapter 4

------

A/N: okay so this is gonna be 3 chapters. the last chapter’s smut, but there’s pretty suggestive stuff happening in the 2nd chapter

i did research for this and wanted to try to make it more on the realistic side but there's always the chance that i messed up somewhere, so if you wanna point it out go ahead. it'll be good to know for the future!

------

This wasn't your first time filming for sex work but you felt a little out of your element. The studio that recently hired you was much bigger than what you were used to and considering that you were mainly doing freelance work before, this made everything feel much more professional and serious. Their work had to be highly produced.

"--We aren’t super strict about that, but you should definitely tell me before you go anywhere."

Right now, you were being given a quick tour by one of the people you'd be working with--the Director of Photography. Jocelyn was pretty much your manager and would be giving you most of the orders.

You continue to follow behind her as she continues to show you around. But you couldn't help eyeing the high quality lights and cameras you pass as she talked though. The equipment must have been worth a lot.

Once she has finished showing you around, she leads you back to the set filled with the crew that you passed earlier.

You listen closely as she goes over the details of the film.

"This will be the room where the main scene will take place. Today we will have you operating one of the stationary cameras, but since you’ve done stuff like this before I decided to let you do it without someone breathing down your neck. Just follow my orders."

You like the woman already. "Thank you."

"The shoot will start in--" she checks her watch, "--about an hour. Today is just filming for you but you know you’ll be doubling up as a runner when necessary. We might also have you help with other tasks while you work here too."

You nod to show you understand.

She smiles, "If you have any questions don't be afraid to ask me or any of your co-workers. Try to avoid asking the director though…."

-------

You adjust the headphones on your head as you stand in front of the camera you'd be in charge of today.

Working it should be simple enough since you didn't have to actually move. You just needed to make sure it stayed in focus so they had more options when it came to angles.

About 10 minutes later, the two actors starring today show up dressed in fairly nice clothes that they wouldn't be wearing for too long. One of them seemed quite friendly with everyone. He must be pretty popular you think.

Before you can recede to your thoughts, you recognize him.

Is that Bruno Bucciarati?

You quickly confirm that it is and turn your body away from him and towards the camera, as if doing that would hide you. You weren't necessarily a stan but you did follow him on social media. And perhaps you did subscribe to his OnlyFans. And there's a good chance you paid money for some of his work.

It wasn't your fault that he was one of the few male stars you found attractive!

You shake your head. This was work. Don't get starstruck.

Luckily, it doesn't take you long to get distracted with the camera. You rarely get to operate such expensive equipment like this so you find yourself looking at all it had to offer.

While you neglect socializing with the people you would be working with from now on, someone comes up to you.

"You look so focused."

Your eyes widen from the sudden voice and you pull down your headphones as you look to the side. "Oh sorry--" When you see who it is the rest of your statement dies in your throat.

However, Bruno isn't deterred by your abrupt stop. "You must be the new camera person."

You stare a second too long before nodding.

He holds out a hand and you have to calm your shaking one before reaching out and grabbing his. His hand was really warm.

“Nice to meet you, my name's Bruno Bucciarati."

"I'm ____. I've actually seen some of your work before! You really are as handsome as in the videos."

Even though you're straight-faced, you were regretting what you just said. It was a simple compliment but what if it was too much? His looks did astound you though, there was no denying it. And you really didn't understand how he managed to pull off that haircut.

You smile to ease the tension within yourself and Bruno returns it. Whether it was genuine or out of politeness you didn't know, but it helps you relax.

"Thank you," he says.

“Okay everyone get in your damn places! We’ll be starting soon!”

Your brows raise at the director’s choice of words.

Bruno turns back to you. "Well, let's do our best to get through this."

You nod and watch him walk towards the bed where his co-star is waiting, and the director immediately starts going over what he wants the two of them to do once he’s there.

You decide to do a quick second check on your camera to make sure everything is still working properly before waiting patiently for the director to start.

------

Between some cuts and breaks, filming’s done about 6 hours later. You’d been informed about the typical work time so you weren't surprised. The porn from this studio was highly produced, with a few “amateur” looking works thrown in, so it was the norm. But this was the longest you had worked on one film. So depending on how particular the director was, you would need to be prepared to do at least several hours of filming when behind the camera.

You rub your eyes. It's only 4 pm but you're yearning for your bed. You could only imagine how tired the actors were.

Right after you turn off the camera, Jocelyn calls you over.

"You did well today and looks like you don't need any serious training. Good job!" she praises.

You guessed you passed the new hire "test". That gave you a bit of an energy boost and you can't help the smile on your face.

While you remove the camera from its tripod, you begin to retreat to your mind. And of course, your mind wanders to a certain actor.

Bruno was good at what he did. Really good. And the other actor seemed to genuinely enjoy working with him too. For a second, you wonder what it's like.

You glance up and accidentally make eye contact with a now fully clothed Bruno. The man walks towards you and even though you had watched him just have sex for multiple hours, you feel nervous.

“What’s up?” you ask when he's close enough.

"Nothing. I like to check up on newcomers, but you must have worked in this field for a while since they usually tend to have some hang ups."

"Uh yea. I've been doing stuff like this for awhile. Good work today by the way."

"Same with you. It was long but things went as smoothly as they could."

You nod in agreement and finish folding up the tripod. “They did, but honestly that one position you were in looked super uncomfortable! Is your back okay?”

The man laughs. “I'll be fine. That was pretty tame to be fair.”

“Wow, you must be super fit or flexible then...” You notice your coworkers walking off with equipment and decide its best to end the conversation so you can follow them. "Oh, I need to put away this stuff. Thanks for checking up on me though!"

Bruno smiles at you and you scurry off with the camera and the tripod.

-----

You'd been here a week so far. Each day varied with things to do and you never really knew what you'd exactly be working on until you got to the studio.

For today you had a list of various tasks but the first one was conducting a pre-shoot interview with the actors for the porn being shot in an hour.

You look through the viewfinder at the two men sitting on the couch. You were already recording but the interview hadn't started just yet.

“It’s been awhile since I've done an interview so bear with me...” you mumble while going over the questions in your head.

“No pressure ____,” Bruno says.

The man doesn't seem bothered but Prosciutto, on the other hand, isn’t as laid back.

“You should at least have a list of questions prepared,” the blonde says.

"Yep right here!" You pull out a piece of paper from your pocket. From the list you could tell this collaboration had been long requested by their fans.

“I did my best to remember it but just in case…” You place the paper on a surface out of view.

You readjust the camera on your shoulder before speaking again. “Okay, let's start with names you say.”

You focus the camera on Bruno. You wish you had a tripod, but they were insistent on having you walk around with the damn thing to make it feel more “personal”.

"I’m Bruno Bucciarati."

You then turn the camera to focus on Prosciutto.

"I’m Prosciutto."

“So I know this is the first time you both are working together. How are we feeling?”

Bruno smiles. “I'm feeling pretty good and ready to work. How about you, Prosciutto?”

“Pretty much how I do before any shoot.”

“And what's that?” you ask.

Prosciutto crosses his arms. “Mostly relaxed but looking forward to it of course.”

"That's good. I know it'll be tiring filming and from how highly requested this seems to be, the director's going to want this to be perfect. But I'm hoping you guys still have fun."

"I'm sure we will, but I still don't know why so many people wanted us to work together," Prosciutto says.

Bruno nods. "Agreed. I feel like we’ve rarely interacted until now."

"Well people like seeing attractive people together. And I've actually seen fancams of you two interacting on Twitter. It's pretty entertaining!"

“You search those up?” Bruno asks.

“No, they just show up on my timeline sometimes.”

“...So you're a fan of Bruno then?” You weren't sure why but you sense a bit of judgement coming from Prosciutto.

"A little, but let's move on." You take a peek at the paper. "So who’s receiving and who’s catching?"

You raise a brow at how the question’s phrased.

Bruno looks at Prosciutto. “Don't you think we should let the film speak for itself.”

The blonde hums in agreement. “If they need to know so badly, they can skip ahead.”

“True. I think either way would be fun to watch though,” you say.

“Definitely. You should let me know what you think later.” Bruno says.

You don't mean to smile but it's already happening. "Sure."

“You're real unprofessional flirting with the camera person in the middle of an interview,” Prosciutto chides.

“It's just some banter. Are you jealous?”

Prosciutto tsks at Bruno's statement.

You shake your head deciding not to acknowledge those comments. The editor would have to cut out that bit. The two seemed to get along well enough for work but you had a feeling they would get on each other's nerves if they stayed together too long.

“Okay so this is definitely a good question to ask next. What do you guys like about each other? Either personality or physical wise."

Prosciutto glances at Bruno before speaking. “I can admit that the man has a nice….physique.”

You grin. "You sound like I'm putting a gun to your head."

The man fixes you with a very unamused look but you continue on smiling.

"What about you Bruno?" you ask.

“Well he has an attractive face and body, of course. His stubbornness is enjoyable at times too.”

“Stubbornness?”

Prosciutto seems to have the same question as you because he looks at Bruno for his explanation.

“Yes it's a good trait to have in certain situations.” Bruno returns the blonde’s stare. “It'll also make seeing him unravel much more interesting.”

The two of them are now looking at each other very intently and you feel like you should leave the room. But you need to finish the interview.

“Nice...so this is the last question. Is there anything specific you two are looking forward to?”

Fortunately, the two of them can still hear you and respond.

Bruno hums, “I suppose it's been awhile since I've given a blowjob, so there's that.”

"...And I'm looking forward to receiving one."

You let out a chuckle, “Okay, Prosciutto I see what you're about.” You quickly skim the list of interview questions. "Well looks like that's it! You guys ready to go?”

They both give you their positive answers.

“Then let's get you guys ready for the shoot."

Bruno smiles while Prosciutto's face stays neutral.

After that statement you stop recording.

“Okay, nice job guys!” You look at the clock on the wall. “That went pretty fast. So you can go ahead and head to the set.”

Prosciutto nods and exits the room but Bruno stays behind.

“Are you going to be helping film for the shoot?” he asks.

You gently place the camera down on the table where you left the paper.

“No, I have to go out and buy some things for something being filmed later this week. And then I have to go do some other stuff around the studio…” You laugh, “They really have me running around!”

Bruno looks slightly concerned. “You’d prefer to stay behind the camera the whole time right?”

“Yep but that's okay. I already knew what I was getting into, and I get paid better pretty well for it.” You look back up at the clock. “I’ll definitely be back for the interview after filming though so I should see you then.”

Bruno nods. "Okay, good luck with your errands."

----

By the end of the day, you're exhausted. Your list of tasks wasn't hard, you just ended up moving a lot more than you planned. You even almost forgot to take your break in your hustle.

When you return to your apartment, you eat something and take a quick shower before dressing up for bed. And once you're snuggled up in your covers, you decide to check your Twitter to see if anything interesting has happened.

While scrolling through the random posts retweeted throughout the day, you happen upon a pretty suggestive picture of Bruno in lingerie. He posted it not too long ago.

Nice.

You click on his icon to check his page to see if there’s anything else new, and under his username notice the words follows you.

Your eyes widen and you double check and refresh to make sure you're not seeing things. You go into your notifications and see that he followed you a couple hours ago. You really weren't sure what to do. It would be weird if you messaged him, right?

You take a deep breath and decide to take the chance. Bruno probably got hundreds of messages so it shouldn't be a big deal.

hi, i saw that you followed me. just making sure you didn't make a mistake lol

Before you can overthink it you send the message. After that you go back to his page and like and retweet the lingerie photo, but you still need a distraction so you wouldn't obsess over a possible reply. When you're thinking of getting out of bed, a message from Bruno pops up.

You quickly open it to see the full message.

No mistakes here. I searched you up and saw that you already followed me so I wanted to follow back.

It's not the first time you've been followed by pornstars or coworkers you worked with, but it was honestly still rare. And something about it being Bruno made your heart beat faster. You momentarily think about everything you retweeted in the last hour, before sending a message back.

oh okay, thx! i'll try not to bother you too much, you probably get a lot of messages

A few seconds pass before you get another reply.

Not necessarily. I have DMs off for people I don't follow. I love my fans but they can get...rowdy. Either way, you can message me whenever you want.

Wow, what would you even talk about with Bruno outside of work related things...

oh, that makes sense. well i guess i’ll take you up on the offer ^^

You see the three dots going for a while before another message appears.

I saw you retweeted my picture.

Your heart skips a beat.

oh god, now i feel embarrassed all of a sudden!

No don’t be. I'm glad you like it.

You smile to yourself.

yea, you look really good in lingerie ...you look good in anything tbh or without anything lmao

You feel like you're about to say something really embarrassing if this conversation continues and quickly type up another message before he can respond.

i’m really tired so i’m going to get ready for bed

The three dots disappear for a moment before showing up again.

Shame, I would have liked talking more. But I understand, you looked really exhausted during the post interview.

yea i was but it’s no biggie and we can message later ❤

Okay then, sleep well ____.

good night 😴

You close out of the app after that and honestly, that went way better than you were expecting.

#n$fw #not sfw #bruno bucciarati x reader #bruno buccellati x reader #bruno x reader #reader insert #x reader #jjba x reader #i actually had fun writing this #im still writing it actually but im mostly in the editing phase ;(

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