#i know this is rich considering the circumstances of the world

[punkpandapatrixk]

💓The Greatest Romance of Your Life! ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

You know you’re destined to be with your Soulmate; deep in your Soul you know there’s something beautiful already written in the stars for you and your Divine Lover★

What’s the story? What’s the drama? How will they pursue you? Aaaah! This One who will love you completely and sweetly and only! ♥︎

SONG: ohhh! by Chara

A WHOLE DREAMY VIBE: The Best of Piero Piccioni

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – That Handsome Gentle Soul

VIBE: Emily in Paris (just S1!)

your options? – 2 of Pentacles

Oh! You’re such a tease and you have many admirers, I can tell XD By the time events in your Life are leading you to a union with your Destined One, you will have quite a bit of options, and actually, you’re weighing at least two people in this scenario. Under normal circumstances, you’d consider yourself a person of traditional values. You always think to yourself that you’re a simple and straightforward person with very ‘normal’ desires.

You want the house, the security and stability, and all those ‘normal things’ that come with a marriage. It’s all understandably expected. You’ve always thought to yourself, ‘I want what is normally expected.’ People have rules in society and it is best to keep to what’s already within the guidelines. You’ll be ruminating these values and gains a lot during this time of your Life.

No matter your actual age at this time, psychologically speaking, you’d want to choose the person who seems more stable and wealthier. It sounds like such a no-brainer; but you’re finding yourself ruminating this shit to no end. And you’d wish things could be a lot simpler; after all, aren’t you simple? Oh, as it turns out, you’re really not all that simple—especially since meeting this other fucker who’s lighted up your horizon~

decisions, decisions, decisions – 10 of Cups Rx

In the beginning, you may not immediately realise that this person we’re talking about is your Destined One. By that time in your Life, you could’ve forgotten all about this reading hahah And you’d be so preoccupied with Life’s more pragmatic duties. By this time, half of you could either be in your late 20s or early 30s, being asked endlessly why you’re not married yet; another half of you could be in your early 50s and simply wanting things to settle and get ‘normal’ in your Life.

The thing is, your Higher Self has arranged for you to meet a Soulmate, a Divine Lover who will actually show you how not normal you are if you were honest with yourself LMAO This person on the outside is actually what you are on the inside if you let yourself be. This Destined One is unorthodox, they are weird in a way that suits your tastes and they somehow align with your values! You’re crazy attracted to this about them, but at some point, you will pull away from them because you’re afraid!

You’re afraid this person will pull you away from everything that’s normal and expected of you. But are you really the type of person who regards a matrimony that highly? Seriously? If you’re honest? This person will show you that they, too, don’t particularly care about the expectations of a marriage. They will show you that they care more about the love and romance and all those sweet feelings that come with being actually in love with someone you adore. No riches in the world can substitute the happiness of holding someone you love in your arms~ With this person, you understand that <3

your True Love?! – 5 of Wands Rx

The biggest reason you will pull away from your Destined One is that you’re afraid of fucking things up with this wonderful person who seems like such a grand prize. Rather than facing the reality of losing this person’s favour out of your own fucking things up, you’d rather never be with them in the first place. And that’s such a sad thing because your Destined One would never think of such things about you!

Out of all the options you could be having at this phase of your Life, you will recognise that your one and only true love is somebody who doesn’t make you feel pressured towards making a decision. I’m getting that your Destined One is very gentle and peaceful, and they’re really understanding of the kinds of negative thoughts that often encircle your mind. If anything, your Destined One will want to erase those scary thoughts from your mind. They want to put you at ease~

They’re not weak or shy though. If anything, your Destined Person is quite shameless and they will want to win you over LMAO But they won’t be forceful or pushy. They’re respectful of your boundaries. They will only continue to come forward with Love, and Love, and just Love—they do worry about you tho ;P So, occasionally you will be able to see their ‘cute side’ when they scold you because they’ve been worried sick!

FIRST KISS🔻💛

feelings pouring sweet~ – Red Magus (Edward Kelly)

the meaning of it all? – Priestess of Beauty

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – Ahhh, You Know You Like Being Swallowed Whole~ ;P

VIBE: Green Snake (1993)

your options? – 5 of Swords Rx

At first glance, it feels to me you won’t be dealing with too many options during this time of your Life where you’re being led to a union with your Destined One; but it isn’t because you don’t have many eyes vying for your hand in marriage, nooo far from it; you, just already know who you’re gonna allow to make a move on you ;P You just already know who you want to be with! ★ And it seems to me you’re the one who’s gonna do the pursuing ;P

If you’re a feminine aenergy attracted to a masculine aenergy, you’re going to lead them on. Basically, from the moment you fell for your Destined One, they’re already in the palm of your hand. I reckon you’re the one who’s gonna recognise who your Destined Person is, and it’s all because you’re a highly spiritual entity. And honestly, you’ve been through quite a lot of shit and you’ve experienced quite a bit how other people’s negative resonance brought down your protective barriers in the past.

You don’t want to entertain low-vibing suitors anymore. You can’t stand the idea of your Life being turned upside down ugly by people whose hearts are UGLY AF. You’ve got no time for any of that. You want your Destined Person and you’ll do anything in your power to make this person fall in love with you <3 I sense a majority of you choosing this pile actually identify as a masculine aenergy attracted to a feminine aenergy regardless of your gender, which makes a lot of sense XD

decisions, decisions, decisions – Knight of Swords

In the past, you’ve dealt with people who are all over you because you’re attractive as fuck. Maybe they wanted your money, status, whatever. You’re a grand prize, you know. People would be so lucky to call you their own. And you got fucking pissed with being seen as a trophy boyfriend/girlfriend—as if you haven’t got your own personality or other achievements. How about your heart and dreams and Love, right? And you know that most people don’t value you for these things. They value you for the things that, to you, don’t matter at all!

By the time the Universe is arranging for you to be in a divine union with your spiritual Soulmate, you’ll have been single for quite a significant time. You’ve shielded yourself from cheap romances. Are you a sigma? LOL You’re honestly not even that interested in people to begin with. Most of the time, you like your own company and keep to yourself a lot. You’ll have been elusive for a number of years before you meet your Destined Person by chance~ This could be a work/professional setting but you’ll still feel like it’s a destined chance meeting hahah

The moment you catch a glimpse of your Destined Person, you feel something electrifying and know immediately this person is special—different from the rest and that you need to figure them out. Perhaps by your second or third meeting, something in you has made it clear to your conscious mind that this is The One. If you’re the masculine in this situation, it’s pretty obvious you’re going to charm them so that they open their heart to you ♡ If you’re a feminine in this situation, you’re going to tease them a lot until they know it’s perfectly alright for them as a masculine to charm you LMAO

your True Love?! – 7 of Cups

So it’s interesting to see a card of a plethora of choices after all that’s said and done. As mentioned before, you’re an attractive high-quality person who’s lusted over by many undeserving asses, and I’m getting mostly this vibe, that when you’re about to make it official with your Destined Person, there’s gonna come a negative force to try and ruin your chances. For many of you this could be anything, really, but for some of you this could be an ex, or basically someone you used to be quite close to, coming back into your Life in the hopes of winning you over. Or worse—even if they know they can’t win you over, they’re still gonna come over to taunt your Destined Person out of jealousy! OMG

If this ‘trying force’ doesn’t come from your end, this could also come from your Destined Person’s end. After all, your Destined Person is ALSO popular and a lot of people are gonna hate on you for being so close to them hahah So, you and your one True Love are gonna be viewed as that power couple and before you come together there will be forces that try and separate you. It's very likely there is a time you become quite distant from each other because of all these negative intents from your environment.

You’ve got people lining up to become your spouse and each one of them could become uncontrollably jealous when you proclaim a relationship with your Destined One XD Oh, you heartbreaker~ And in the case of an ex, or a very close ex-friend who used to harbour feelings and hopes for you, this person could well break your Destined Person’s heart and make them cry. They might even try and do something very evil to your Destined Person just to hurt YOU! This, is your lesson from the Universe to decide how you’re going to protect the one and only person you say you love~

FIRST KISS🔻💜

feelings pouring sweet~ – Red Astronomer (Johannes Kepler)

the meaning of it all? – Priestess of Magick

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – This the One Who’ll Sacrifice Anything for You

VIBE: Titanic (1997)

your options? – Page of Wands Rx

During this time when the Universe is arranging for you to be with your Destined Person, very strange and complex situations are happening in your Life. First, it’s possible you’re already steady/engaged/married to someone else, and this is why it seems you’re not dealing with a variety of romantic options. Two, it could just be that you’re totally NOT opening yourself up to the prospect of a relationship or even a marriage HAHAH

By this point in your Life, if you have friends or are in the public eye, it’ll have been quite obvious to everybody that you’re not the marrying type. For whatever reason, you’re quite sceptical—even cynical—about this whole notion of a relationship or a matrimony. Either you’re tired or afraid of being bound by a loveless contract. You’ve seen how people switch up and betray their spouses. You’ve heard plenty of cheating couples and broken trusts. Ain’t nobody got time to open up to horrendous crimes like that!

To everybody else, you’re an elusive siren who lives in your own world of make-believe, which annoyingly only makes you even more sought-after. At this point in your Life, you appear to the world as some sort of a rare catch and people will be sneakily trying to woo you, to win you over, because that would make them look cool. Many courageous (or should we say reckless?) warriors will attempt to break your icy castle and die in vain, never realising the whole time you were wishing for a King!☆

decisions, decisions, decisions – 10 of Pentacles

To say that you ‘don’t want to be married’ is actually quite a contrarian thing. Deep in your Soul, you want to have a wholesome, a complete and harmonious relationship with a Kingly character. You want something real that most people don’t even know how to give—because most people are shallow and infantile and so poor in character… These peasants… Sigh, they bore you to death. They disappoint to no end. But then, one day…

By some miraculous encounter you bump into your Destined One. Some miraculous encounter that wouldn’t have happened at all if some curiously specific events did not stack up a certain way. It is by Divine Design that you meet at all on that very day. That very moment you see this person, your heart jump and a voice in you exclaim, ‘Husband??’ or ‘Wife??’

Of course that’s super strange that a voice within you would say that at all. You might find it cringe or think you’ve lost all your marbles completely. ‘I think I’m delusional because I’ve been lonesome for a while…’ But soon after, you really wake up to the realisation that the Universe has sent you a pretty gift in the form of a Human who’s the perfect match for you. This person is THE IDEAL, the moment, the archetype, the everything you’ve ever dreamt a true love—your true love—would be~

your True Love?! – King of Wands

The complete package. This Destined Person, is literally YOU in a different form. They may not be perfect for any other person, but for you, all your fingers fit each other perfectly. Mind you, your Destined Person is very attractive in spite of all their flaws, so it’s not like there isn’t any competition here XP Your Destined Person is definitely somebody who turns heads when they enter a room. Even the parking lot is their runway!

This person commands respect, indeed they exude a very Kingly aenergy. They are charisma personified—very giving, honourable, even sacrificial. Your Destined Person is somebody who truly understands what it means to give back to the community. A true King who gains respect for the service he has given to his people. A King like this is truly loved and revered instead of feared. That’s the kind of aenergy your Destined Person operates with.

You will be very happy with this person. You know that, thus the exclamation upon seeing them! In spite of your apprehensions about marriage, when your King proposes, when they claim you as their Queen (LOL), you simply simply simply curiously intuitively know you’re gonna be taken care of~ And that’s such a nice feeling to have to finally feel safe with someone who truly cares for your wellbeing. Someone whom you know, at all times, will make big sacrifices just to put a smile on your face ♥︎

FIRST KISS🔻🧡

feelings pouring sweet~ – Silver Astrologer (John Dee)

the meaning of it all? – Priestess of Energy

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

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[peachsayshi]

₊ ⊹ . ݁ sex worker!suguru geto x rich girl!reader ₊ ⊹ .

⊹ tags: nudity; post-sex; slightly angsty; au

:about: you grew up in a supremely wealthy household, but that came with a price. you've never had control over your own life, and now your father is set to marry you off. distraught by the news, you decide to call your contact for comfort.

:note: I don't know why but I've been thinking about this au a lot recently and I'm completely obsessed. I have so many aus for my faves and really wanted to spend some time exploring them more!

wc: 1,067

"an arranged marriage, huh?" suguru whispers, his sharp eyes dipping to your naked chest while his delicate fingers carefully push the bedsheet further down to your hips.

you inch a little closer into his frame, soaking in the outlines of his chiseled torso and bring one finger to trace little shapes on his broad shoulder. your brows furrow with annoyance, "yeah, you ever heard of the zenin family?"

suguru scoffs, breaking character for only a second. it's something that you've started noticing recently. that he doesn't hold his reactions around you as tightly as he used to. the front of this alter ego that he created has started to falter, but you find yourself drawn to the person existing underneath the mask of the seducer.

you sigh, "my father thinks naoya zenin is a perfect match for me."

an uneasy expression flickers across suguru's face, but he suppresses it before allowing it to linger.

you lift yourself up onto your elbow and rest your head on your palm. "what is it?"

suguru mimics your position, his large hand gliding back and forth over the slope of your hips and waistline. it sends goosebumps all over your body, your mind going back to the first time when you met him in person.

you still vividly remember his reaction. the way his eyes widened, and the quirk of his brow as he addressed you.

"you're young," he blurted.

"we're around the same age," you replied defensively, already feeling insecure for having hired him after you spent weeks watching his videos. you didn't even know about his house calls until you heard it from a source within your social circle. " is this how you greet all your clients?"

suguru boldly checks you out, "my other clients don't look like you..."

over time you learned that he catered to a specific demographic: older divorcees and cheating housewives.

the person you might turn into twenty years from now if this marriage goes through.

a knot forms in your stomach.

"I've heard that naoya..." suguru explains, pinching the pads of his fingers lightly against your flesh before leaning forward to kiss the crease between your brows. "can be a handful to deal with..."

you thread your fingers around his neck, your lips finding his jaw where you return a kiss. "and who told you that?" you murmur, as the weight of suguru's body rolls on top of yours.

a wicked smile ticks at the corners of his lips, and you're staring at his devastatingly handsome face from below. the longer you spent time with him the more you began to wonder about his circumstances.

the same thought constantly crosses your mind time and time again.

suguru could truly be anything he wanted but instead he was here making a killing off of fucking lonely women and making porn videos.

you aren't here to judge his choices, but you can't help but feel puzzled by the situation.

his smile gives you the answer. his source regarding naoya zenin thanks to a client, but suguru has a confidentiality policy and shares nothing about the other women he beds.

you shiver when his mouth meets your neck, his lips sucking along the tender skin that sends goosebumps all over your chest but there's an ache in your heart when you consider that if it wasn't for the signed cheque in your purse, he wouldn't even be here in the first place.

not a single man you've met in the world compares to suguru. not only was he beautiful beyond comprehension, but he had striking charm and was extremely smart. you found yourself enjoying his company beyond physical purposes, and conversations with him turned out to be one of your favorite ways to pass time.

"think we'll still get together when you're a missus?" he teases, his lips trailing lower to your collar bones and hovering just a above your breasts covered with the hickeys that he's left.

the thought of getting married makes you sick.

"do you peg me as a terrible wife? a woman who would happily cheat on her husband?" you question, your voice small and trembling when suguru circles his lips around your hard nipple.

he hums, drawing out a whimper when he nips at the bud lightly.

"no," he answers, his voice dropping an octave and your mind swirls when you contemplate if that strange tone is actually jealousy. he rests his chin on your chest, his inky hair framing his face in a waterfall of obsidian. "I do, however, peg naoya as a terrible husband"

you sink your fingers into his locks. "it doesn't matter who my father chooses, they are all the same. naoya is no worse than the rest. I'm trapped regardless..."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," suguru responds sincerely, the sweetness in his voice the reason why your eyes prick with tears.

you sniffle, using your free hand to wipe away a rogue droplet freely falls down your cheek. suguru softens his expression, adjusting his position so he was laying by your side. he doesn't say anything but draws you into his chest for a hug, enveloping you in his warmth. you try hard not to consider the reality of the situation, and accept the gesture freely as you cuddle against him.

the moment of peace is interrupted by a loud vibration. you and suguru both perk up to stare at his phone buzzing on the side table.

your heart sinks.

another client.

suguru reaches his arm around to grab the phone, and you close your eyes as you inhale his natural scent, trying to soak him in for as long as you can. but to your surprise he simply switches it off, and wraps his arm back around you to return to his position.

"you sure you don't need to take that?" you mumble, trying to play off your disappointment as casually as possible.

"I'm booked out for the rest of the evening," he answers nonchalantly, "there's no reason to respond."

a flutter in your belly sends a tingle all over your skin. "but...your cheque only covers the hours we agreed on..."

two fingers touch the underside of your chin, and suguru tilts your head up so you were both face to face again. "don't worry about it, doll," he consoles, his thumb lightly outlining your bottom lip, "this is on the house."

[cod-dump]

Price’s family, what we thinking?

Cause I like to think his dad and him basically look the same, except maybe his dad is a bit taller with more grey hair, but other than that, physically they’re the same person.

Personality? Price got all that sass and hatred for authority from his mum, that woman runs the house and no one would ever attempt to dispute that fact.

In terms of siblings I feel like he’s either an only child or like one of five brothers. No in between.

Unrelated but I really like your content! Keep up the amazing work!!

next

___

Price’s issues with authority stems from how overly controlling his parents were.

First born son of a high class family. He had to be perfect, be the smartest in his class and get the best grades, get into the most prestigious universities available and marry a girl of equal class or higher. He had taken several music courses, and he wasn’t even given the choice of which ones. They had his whole life planned out for him the moment they realized they were having a son. His younger brother and sister were held at a similar level, but there was much more leniency with them. They weren’t to inherit everything, Price was.

He hated every bit of that life. He felt as if he had no control, no self autonomy. John Price was whatever his parents wanted, and it was an empty, lifeless existence. He wanted freedom, so he did the only thing he could think of, reached out to what seemed his only escape. He chose to serve in the Royal Marines. John Price found freedom in that, no matter the hell he’s been through he’ll never regret that choice.

He knew what he was doing, diving into a world of order and blood and death. But there was freedom in that, more freedom than he had ever had in his own childhood home. And when he joined the SAS? He tasted freedom like none other. It was intoxicating, empowering. He found purpose, something of his own making. He made friends, people of his choosing.

Choosing to run from home and join the Royal Marines costed Price his relationship with his parents. They gave him a chance to come home, this of course never happened. They threatened to take away his inheritance, cut him out of their will. But he refused. He chose freedom over a cushy life already planned for him. Some of his teammates were stunned that a rich boy like him ran from what they considered a perfect life.

Price hasn’t heard from anyone in his family in years, he knows next to nothing about how his siblings have gone on to live their lives or what had become of his parents. It was the cost of leaving, losing his family. But he made a new one for himself. And he’s quite happy with them, regardless of the circumstances of how they came into his life.

[cleverstudentcheesecake]

Since I either consider Shen Yuan to be reincarnated Shen Jiu or Shen Jiu's brother/twin/son, I hate it when people describe him to be awkward, spineless, dumb, poor, broke or unattractive in the modern world. In the SVSSS world, in fannon he is often characterised to be too easy, trusting, damsel-in-distress who is easy to manipulate.

Let me tell you, a reincarnated Shen Jiu or Shen Jiu's close kin would never be any of the above. Even if we consider him to have absolutely no relation with Shen Jiu, he can never be any of the above.

Now let's be realistic why.

Poor, broke and unattractive?

Shen Yuan is clearly stated to be a 'Second-generation rich kid'.

This is the definition of 'Second-generation rich kid' given in the extra notes of book 1:

SECOND-GENERATION RICH KID: A child of a wealthy family who grows up with a large inheritance. “Second-generation” in this case refers to them being the younger generation (as opposed to their parents, who are the first generation) rather than immigrant status.

Have you ever seen rich Chinese kids or heard about the term 'Crazy Rich Asians'?

Do you know what their lifestyle, fashion senses, academic profiles and extracurriculars are like?

Iykyk...

According to me Shen Yuan in modern world used to be that absolutely breath taking, elegant, overachieving kid who grew up reading the hardest of litetary works and then proceeded to burn himself out in University.

He must have known how to play atleast 2 musical instruments and have been well versed in multiple languages. He was also a chess genius as well as a great networker with his silver tongue and natural knack for flattery. He had been privately tutored for everything above.

If you ever found Shen Yuan outside his house, you would find his spine to be pin straight, without a hair out of place and effortlessly dressed to kill.

I believe when he was reading PIDW he was taking a break after both his mental and physical conditions declined due to social, academic and familial pressures.

He was good at everything but never as good as his elder brothers. He used to be a prime example of 'Jack of all trade, Master of none'.

He had no ambition of his own after being overshadowed by his brothers who were also physically more fit than him, all his life. He was existing until one day it all came breaking in.

Why did the length of the break even matter when he would still have a huge trust fund even if he achieves nothing in life? He just had to make sure to not do anything shameful that could have possibly harmed his family's reputation. The trust funds were sufficient to sustain his introverted ass for a lifetime.

So, he became a shut in.

He was always a closet otaku but now he could completely indulge himself in his otaku tendencies.

He went and read every trashy web novel that ever existed until he found his 'The Read'.

From the comfort of his home and behind the screen he could be his true gremlin self (someone who could completely tear down your confidence down with his verbal attacks without a huff).

He no longer needed his silver tongue to appease people, he could laze around all day aimlessly and shit talk essays on the web novels' comment sections.

The rest is history...

Why do you think he was inherently adept to pretending in the SVSSS world? Why was it so effortless for him to pretend to be an extraordinary immortal scholar? — because all his life he had been pretending.

If he was awkward he wouldn't have been able to collect potential suitors like pokemons.

He is polite, endearing and a flatterer but never awkward.

Excuse me if he was easy to manipulate and too trusting, he would have never escaped Zhuzhi Lang.

Spineless you say?

Prove it that he won't castrate a person then and there if they even try to look the wrong way at his disciples?

Assure me that if had gone through the same circumstances as Shen Jiu, he wouldn't have turned out exactly like Shen Jiu?

Tell me that Shen Yuan isn't capable of pulling a Nie Huaisang if his Jiu-ge is skillfully murdered in front of him?

A damsel-in-distress, tell me he isn't capable of fighting and standing up for himself.

How can he ever be dumb?

His aimlessness and laziness doesn't account for his lack of intelligence. I agree that he may not be much emotionally adept but he is book smart and quick on his feet.

Sometimes, his obvious denial of affection makes me feel that they don't actually stem from being in a Villain's body or obliviousness, but rather from his own self-doubt and hatred.

He purposefully denies what is right in front of him which makes him biased and an unreliable narrator. He sees himself as an unkind person throughout the story but we all know the truth.

He also considers himself old and unlovable but we know he is a pretty bitch who everyone has a crush on.

Believe me Tsundere Shen Yuan needed a Yandere Binghe in his life so he could realise that there exists someone who loves, trusts and believes him unconditionally. All his life he had lived feeling useless, he needed someone who wants him desperately and also makes him feel wanted.

We say Shen Yuan helped Binghe, trust me Binghe did the same for Shen Yuan. Binghe fixed something in Shen Yuan that he never realised was broken. They are co-dependent freaks who absolutely deserve each other.

[bodymachine]

regarding the “the american education system didn’t teach ___ so i never learned it” posts, some of you are veryyyy much missing what’s wrong w/ those statements when you give the blanket retort that the american education system actually did teach ___. newsflash: public school curriculums aren’t the same in every school/district/county/state. but to take it a step further, the quality of public education depends on state laws and the funding available to schools, which funding depends largely on local property taxes, which means low-income communities end up with low-quality schooling, fewer extracurricular programs, fewer resources for disabled students, more corrupt administration. the system is not about problems with curriculum, it’s much more and much worse than that.

besides the property tax funding, standardized tests also play a huge shitty role in this mess. schools that don’t have high test scores, i.e. underfunded schools often with majority low-income black and brown students, are considered “low-performing” and actually get less funding from the government as a result, like needed funds can get cut, and their teachers get paid less (and don’t even get me started on how programs like teach for america are sending young, white, fully inexperienced teachers to the poorest schools).

standardized tests are chosen at the state level, so states with huge wealth disparities and obviously segregated districts (like CT where i’m from) are measuring the performance of poor kids and rich kids using the same content and scoring system to arbitrarily determine who’s smart enough to deserve a better funded education. so the tests, i.e. the government, clearly favor the success of rich, white students. and the problem isn’t so much which content gets taught and how, as it is how little the american government actually cares about kids learning and having promising futures. like, education truly isn’t the point of american public schools. what they care about is deciding who gets to thrive in the world once they become adults.

since schools with majority white and wealthy populations essentially set the bar for what kind of performance is “standard,” everyone else whose circumstances (academic or otherwise) don’t allow them to reach that level are set up by the system to fail. being a “low-performing” school means kids are forced to repeat grades, and graduation becomes something out of reach. the schools don’t care about their students’ needs (especially when the teachers and administrators are mostly white), and real-life factors beyond students’ control cause them to struggle in school and they end up getting punished/suspended/expelled at horrifying rates, and yeah there’s a whooooole host of reasons why school can fucking suck and i’m barely scratching the surface.

anyway, what i’m trying to say here is YES the american education system sucks—not just because certain topics related to racism and imperialism and american history and other countries are glanced over or fully left out of curriculum, but also because success is being gatekept by the white and wealthy. it’s actively a racist system. not being taught important things about the world, or not being taught in a way that is actually engaging, is a problem that anyone anywhere can face, but it’s particularly insidious when you realize that the school system is TRYING to harm poor, black, brown, and immigrant communities.

so just to circle back to the real problem on display in those ignorant posts, it really makes me sick that white liberals can develop such a whiny complex around their own insular lack of curiosity when they don’t even know what “american education system” they’re talking about. and trying to look better than them by saying they just weren’t paying attention in school is completely completely beside the point.

[arlathvhenan]

Sera Makes No Sense

Sera as a character baffles and frustrates me, because there was so much potential there and none of it was ever realized. I honestly don’t know what they were going for with her character but what we got feels so unpolished and incomplete.

For one thing, her backstory makes zero sense. It assumes that Sera, a City Elf, has either never encounter racism from a human nor does she know about the Alienages, the genocides, or the other incredibly out in the open atrocities being committed against the Elves to this day. That, or she is SO mean spirited and so lacking in empathy that she sees these people suffering and deems them worthy of being mocked for it, which kind of flies in the face of her whole ‘uplifting the little guy’ thing.

Sera supposedly cares for the downtrodden, and yet is constantly punching down. She openly mocks Solas at any opportunity over the death and downfall of their people. Just imagine for a second if this were set in the real world and we were dealing with a real life marginalized group? Substitute the Elves for any famously abused and oppressed group and consider if you’d still find Sera’s attitude all that charming.

Her hatred of the Elves in general makes very little sense within the context of her own narrative. Her story about the cookies is utterly baffling to me because it illustrates exactly why she should be distrustful of humans and yet she still projects her scorn onto the Elves, who are constantly being abused by the world around them. Why? How does that logic follow?

It honestly feels like writer didn’t know what to do with her. Her character has no arc. She never changes. She never really demonstrates any sense of empathy or compassion, yet we’re meant to believe she’s cares deeply about the plight of the powerless, yet her character never demonstrates this with her actions. She likes to cause trouble, sure. She calls it ‘payback.’ But that comes from a place of malice, not compassion.

I won’t say I don’t understand wanting to menace the rich, but at the end of the day what is she doing to actually help people? By her own admission she only wants to help the Inquisition so she can ‘go and play’ which…yeah. And again, she never really grows from this point. There is no arc to her.

I think the problem with Sera and why she’s yet another character it’s impossible to have nuanced discussions on is because people project a lot of qualities into her that simply aren’t there in the text, that warps their perception of her, and then they get attacked to the image if her they want rather than what’s there in the text. They like her, so they want to assume the best at all times. Her writer left her in an unpolished state, so people do the legwork of fixing her character in their interpretation and then crediting it to the original work. For example, the idea that Sera’s hatred of Elves is somehow internalized racism. A symptom of being raised by the oppressors of her people and wanting desperately to suit their image of personhood, therefore rejecting that which would set her apart from them. Except Sera clearly doesn’t care what the humans think of her. Certainly not the wealthy ones. Moreover, this internalized racism is never reckoned with by the narrative.

The objective tragedy of a social minority coming to despise their own due to the circumstances of their upbringing is never acknowledged. She never changes, which implies that the writers think she has nothing that needs changing. Ergo, they clearly didn’t think through the implications of her character or what it would actually look like for someone in her situation. Sera could have been a deeply interesting look into the damage colonialism and oppression do to a person’s sense of identity. Instead her racism is simply treated as a quirk.

TLDR; She deserved better writing than she got and it sucks that more effort wasn’t put into her story.

[immediatebreakfast]

Love, love, love the expressing differences between all the three suitors on how they present their entries, as well how it immediatly tells us their first characterization points.

Ebb tide in appetite to-day. Cannot eat, cannot rest, so diary instead. Since my rebuff of yesterday I have a sort of empty feeling; nothing in the world seems of sufficient importance to be worth the doing.... As I knew that the only cure for this sort of thing was work, I went down amongst the patients. (Mem., under what circumstances would I not avoid the pit of hell?) Omnia Romæ venalia sunt. Hell has its price! verb. sap. 

Somber in tone, and defeated in spirit. Starts with circumstances that led Seward ignore his own health in favor of burying himself with work. What continues is a seemly methodical description of a patient, yet is unprofessional and dark as Jack admits to want to experiment with Renfield while he is in this mental state.

On top of all of this message being recorded in a phonograph instead of a written diary. It tells that Jack does not prefer to write, maybe because this train of thoughts is going too fast to be put properly on part, or maybe by writing Jack needs to think more about what he has to express, which would end up with censoring some parts of himself.

My dear Art,— We've told yarns by the camp-fire in the prairies; and dressed one another's wounds after trying a landing at the Marquesas; and drunk healths on the shore of Titicaca. There are more yarns to be told, and other wounds to be healed, and another health to be drunk. Won't you let this be at my camp-fire to-morrow night? There will only be one other, our old pal at the Korea, Jack Seward. Yours, as ever and always, QUINCEY P. MORRIS.

A story telling cadence that indicates how Quincey seems to prefer tale narration when talking. Very personal moments described before an invitation to warm up the idea a campfire after the succesful proposal of Arthur, and the mention of liquor plants the idea of how this space will not be privy with secrets. Including Jack to connect the three of them as friends, and a implication of Quincey knowing of what kind of state Seward might be in to invite him.

Concluding with a very romantic in nature farewell, and the format being the humble written letter. A communication device that has never failed, and is simple to hold Quincey's words with care.

Count me in every time. I bear messages which will make both your ears tingle. ART.

It's polite, yet informal in tone in a way which tells how Arthur considers Quincey to be a very close friend. The familiarity in the expression "will make both your ears tingle" implies that this is not the first time for Arthur to tell gossip, less ones that could be considered "saucy" in the eyes of people outside of their friend circle.

And lastly, Arthur's 16 words message was sent via telegram, a very expensive message service that charged per word, which tells that mister Holmwood is... ✨💵RICH💵✨

[thegambitgazette]

Fear: Using Stoicism to Shape Characters

WC: 2,730

Introduction

Like many people, I suffer from severe panic and anxiety attacks. My heart races at what feels like a thousand beats per minute, I get a cold sweat, and my thoughts do not have a filter. The latter of which, I find the most dangerous and disturbing, especially when said attacks get triggered by something so small or nothing at all.

A lot of the time, they boil down to not feeling safe. I feel like I’m vulnerable, that the worst things that happened to me will happen again tenfold, or I’ve become the worst person in existence. Fear, as a lot of us know, can have us assume the worst.

I’m still working on managing my fear, if it can be managed at all, but a lot of what I’ve been practicing is essentially Stoicism. Epictetus, a Greek Stoic philosopher, often highlighted that it is not events themselves that disturb people, but rather their judgments about those events. One famous quote attributed to Epictetus that reflects this idea is: “People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them.”

This sentiment suggests that fear and other negative emotions stem not from objective reality but from our interpretations and perceptions of reality.

I thought, “What a wonderful way to get to know our characters!” Not only do we have to have a grasp on the world around them, we have to understand the extent of how they perceive said reality and how it leads to their own fears as well as their ambitions, passions, hate, love, etc.

Amor Fati

One of my favorite phrases is “amor fati.” It’s what helped me most in navigating my own fears and, as a result, writing some ways in which my characters handle theirs.

The idea of “amor fati” is closely associated with philosophers like Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius, even though they didn't use those exact words. However, it was Nietzsche who made it a key part of his philosophy. He believed that true greatness comes from embracing fate and wanting nothing to change, not in the past, present, or future. In simple terms, it means loving and accepting everything that happens, rather than just enduring it.

When considering the relationship between “amor fati” and fear, several key points emerge:

Acceptance of the Uncontrollable: Fear often arises from the unknown or from circumstances beyond our control. “Amor fati” encourages individuals to relinquish their resistance to such uncertainties and to accept that life is inherently unpredictable. By embracing fate, individuals can find solace in the realization that some things are simply beyond their power to change or influence.

Facing Adversity with Resilience: Rather than viewing challenges as threats to be avoided or overcome, individuals can approach them with a sense of equanimity and resilience. Instead of succumbing to fear or anxiety in the face of challenges, one can choose to see them as opportunities for growth and self-discovery. By embracing adversity as an integral part of life’s journey, individuals can cultivate the strength and fortitude necessary to navigate difficult times with grace and composure.

Gratitude for All Experiences: Fear often stems from a sense of insecurity or dissatisfaction with one’s circumstances. “Amor fati” cultivates gratitude for all experiences, both positive and negative, recognizing that each contributes to the richness and depth of life. By embracing fate with gratitude and appreciation, individuals can mitigate the fear of the unknown and find peace and contentment in the present moment.

This idea is what helps form a “baseline” for my way of thinking and perceiving fear, which is what many people, fictional characters included, tend to mix up.

You don’t need to adopt the same mantra, of course, but I believe that having this Ground 0 in your own personal philosophy will add further depth and characterization in writing. It provides a deeper perspective on why your characters think the same or why they may deviate.

Distinction Between Events and Perceptions

Let’s go back to what Epictetus said: “People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them.” Stoicism teaches that events themselves are neutral; it is our interpretation of those events that shapes our emotional responses. This concept is often referred to as “cognitive appraisal” or “judgment” in Stoic philosophy.

In practical terms, this means that two individuals may encounter the same external circumstance, yet react to it in vastly different ways based on their subjective interpretations. For example, consider a person who loses their job unexpectedly. While one individual may perceive this event as a devastating blow to their self-worth and security, another may view it as an opportunity for growth and new possibilities. The event itself—the loss of a job—remains the same, but the emotional response varies depending on the individual's perception of the situation.

Epictetus’s insight invites us to reflect on the role of our perceptions in shaping our emotional experiences. It suggests that our judgments, beliefs, and attitudes about the events we encounter play a crucial role in determining how we feel and behave in response to those events. By recognizing this distinction between events and perceptions, individuals can gain greater agency over their emotional lives.

Moreover, understanding this distinction empowers individuals to practice what Epictetus called the “dichotomy of control”—the Stoic principle of focusing only on what is within our power to control, namely our thoughts, attitudes, and responses, rather than becoming consumed by external circumstances beyond our control. By directing our attention inward and cultivating a mindset of resilience and rationality, we can navigate life's challenges with greater equanimity and inner peace.

Applying this to character development, particularly in relation to crafting a character’s fears, can add depth and complexity to the character.

Understanding the Character’s Perception of Fearful Events:

Explore how the character interprets and perceives the events or situations that evoke fear. What underlying beliefs, past experiences, or personal values shape their perception of these events?

Consider whether the character’s fear is rooted in the objective reality of the situation or in their subjective interpretation of it. For example, is their fear based on genuine physical danger, or is it driven by irrational beliefs or past traumas?

Revealing Character Traits and Beliefs:

A character’s response to fear can provide insight into their personality, values, and beliefs. For instance, do they confront their fears head-on with courage and resilience, or do they succumb to anxiety and avoidance?

Consider how the character’s fear reflects broader themes or conflicts in the story. For example, does their fear stem from a desire for control, a fear of vulnerability, or a struggle with existential questions?

External Manifestations of Fear:

Consider how the character’s perception of fear manifests in their actions, behaviors, and interactions with others. Do they exhibit outward signs of fear, such as trembling or avoidance, or do they mask their fears behind a facade of bravado?

Pay attention to how the character’s response to fear influences their relationships with other characters. For example, do they push others away in an attempt to protect themselves, or do they seek support and connection during times of fear and uncertainty?

Symbolism and Subtext:

Use the character’s fears as a vehicle for exploring deeper themes and subtext within the story. What do their fears symbolize in terms of larger narrative themes or character arcs?

Consider how the character’s perception of fear parallels or contrasts with other characters in the story, providing opportunities for reflection and exploration of different perspectives.

“Personal Truths” Are Not Necessarily Lawful

No matter how much a character is afraid of something, there is a line to be drawn on how valid that fear is when justifying a character’s actions and self-proclaimed motives. A person can say that they are afraid of someone else and that they are acting to protect others, but does that truly evade them from the law? In other words, a Villain can be completely convinced that what they are doing is noble and right, or that it stems from their own trauma, but, at the end of the day, they’re a murderous liar.

For example, in George Orwell's allegorical novel Animal Farm, Napoleon is a Berkshire boar who emerges as one of the leaders of the animal revolution against the human farmer, Mr. Jones. Initially, Napoleon is portrayed as a strategic thinker and persuasive speaker, working alongside Snowball, another pig, to rally the other animals and establish the principles of Animalism, which advocate for equality and freedom from human oppression.

As the story progresses, Napoleon’s character undergoes a transformation fueled by his ambitions for power and control.

Napoleon’s fear of losing control over the farm drives many of his actions. He becomes increasingly paranoid about potential threats to his authority, particularly from Snowball, whom he views as a rival. This fear prompts him to manipulate and eliminate anyone who opposes him, including orchestrating the expulsion of Snowball from the farm and later falsely accusing him of being a traitor.

He also utilizes propaganda and manipulation to maintain his grip on power. He gradually assumes control over the farm’s decision-making processes, consolidating power in his own hands and using fear tactics to suppress dissent among the other animals. For example, he employs the threat of the mysterious “Jones” returning to instill fear and obedience among the animals.

Napoleon’s lust for power leads him to betray the principles of Animalism that he once espoused. He progressively becomes more authoritarian and exploitative, engaging in corrupt practices such as trading with humans and altering the Seven Commandments to justify his actions. Despite initially advocating for equality, Napoleon begins to live a life of luxury while the other animals toil and suffer.

As his regime becomes more entrenched, he resorts to violence and oppression to maintain control. He establishes a reign of terror, using his loyal enforcers, the ferocious dogs he raised since they were puppies, to suppress dissent and punish any animal perceived as disloyal. Under his rule, the farm descends into a state of fear and tyranny, with Napoleon ruling with an iron fist.

Napoleon’s character serves as a symbol of totalitarianism and the corrupting influence of power. His transformation from a revolutionary leader to a despotic dictator mirrors the rise of real-life totalitarian rulers who exploit fear and propaganda to consolidate power and suppress dissent. There is not one moment of self-reflection, of him questioning that, perhaps, his fears are unfounded or his “personal truths” are not true at all.

Playing With Reality

Now, how can you utilize fear in order to create a character with as much depth and reflection (or lack thereof) like Napoleon?

Exaggerating a character’s fear involves manipulating elements of reality within the narrative to heighten the character’s sense of paranoia, insecurity, and authoritarianism.

Distorted Perceptions: Employ literary devices such as unreliable narration or distorted perspectives to amplify the character’s fears. By presenting events through the lens of the character’s paranoia, the narrative can create a sense of heightened tension and uncertainty. For example, descriptions of seemingly innocuous occurrences may be exaggerated or imbued with sinister undertones to reflect the character’s heightened state of fear.

Symbolism and Imagery: Symbolic imagery can be used to represent the character’s fears in a heightened and exaggerated manner. For instance, recurring symbols of oppression, surveillance, or impending doom can serve as visual metaphors for the character’s anxieties and insecurities. These symbols can be woven throughout the narrative to reinforce the character’s sense of paranoia and isolation.

Surreal Elements: Introducing surreal or fantastical elements into the narrative can create a sense of disorientation and unease, effectively amplifying the character's fear. By blurring the boundaries between reality and fantasy, the author can evoke a sense of psychological instability and existential dread. Surreal imagery, dream sequences, or hallucinatory experiences can all contribute to the character’s sense of dislocation and terror.

Manipulation of Time and Space: Playing with the conventions of time and space can further exaggerate the character’s fear and disorientation. Flashbacks, flash-forwards, or nonlinear storytelling techniques can create a sense of temporal dislocation, mirroring the character’s fractured mental state. Similarly, disorienting shifts in perspective or setting can contribute to the character's sense of being trapped or pursued by unseen forces.

Atmospheric Detailing: Careful attention to atmospheric detail can help to create a sense of oppressive dread and foreboding. Descriptions of the environment—such as gloomy weather, claustrophobic settings, or unsettling ambient sounds—can evoke a palpable sense of unease, intensifying the character's fear and paranoia.

Character Interaction and Dialogue: Dialogue and interaction with other characters can be used to reinforce the character’s fears and insecurities. Conversations may be laced with veiled threats, double entendres, or gaslighting tactics, leaving the character uncertain of whom to trust. Manipulative or menacing exchanges can heighten the character's sense of isolation and vulnerability.

Did anyone else get a little uneasy imagining all of that? I’d go rather mad if I had all of that happening to me, too. Now, what about the good guys? They are afraid of things, too, right?

Of course they are, and you can utilize the above methods for your heroes, as well! There might just be a little bit of extra work involved in ensuring that they don’t spiral into the villain role.

Establish Strong Moral Compass: From the outset, establish the hero’s core values and moral compass. Make it clear what principles guide their actions and decisions. This foundation will serve as a guiding light, helping to anchor the character and prevent them from straying into villainous territory.

Empathy and Compassion: Ensure that the hero retains their empathy and compassion towards others, even in the face of fear and adversity. By prioritizing the well-being of others and demonstrating empathy towards those in need, the hero reaffirms their commitment to noble ideals and reinforces their heroic identity.

Positive Support Systems: Surround the hero with positive support systems, including allies, mentors, and friends who can offer guidance, encouragement, and moral support. These relationships serve as anchors, providing the hero with strength and stability during moments of doubt and fear.

Consequences of Actions: Highlight the consequences of the hero’s actions and choices, emphasizing the impact they have on others and the world around them. By holding the hero accountable for their decisions and their effects, the narrative reinforces the importance of ethical behavior and reinforces their heroic identity.

Redemption and Forgiveness: If the hero does succumb to fear or makes mistakes along the way, provide opportunities for redemption and forgiveness. Allow the hero to acknowledge their faults, learn from their experiences, and strive to make amends. This narrative arc reinforces the hero’s humanity and resilience, emphasizing the possibility of growth and redemption.

Thematic Resonance: Ensure that the hero’s journey is thematically consistent and resonant, emphasizing themes of hope, courage, and resilience. By grounding the narrative in these overarching themes, the hero’s actions remain aligned with their fundamental nature, reinforcing their heroic identity and preventing them from veering into villainous territory.

Conclusion

Fear is a powerful and universal human experience that can shape both individuals and characters in profound ways. Drawing upon Stoic philosophy, particularly the concepts of “amor fati” and the distinction between events and perceptions, can provide valuable insights into understanding and managing fear. By exploring how characters perceive and respond to fear, writers can create nuanced and compelling portrayals that add depth and complexity to their stories.

“Amor fati,” or love of fate, encourages individuals to embrace and accept all aspects of their lives, including the uncertainties and challenges that provoke fear. By adopting an attitude of gratitude and acceptance towards fate, characters can navigate fear with resilience and courage, transforming adversity into opportunities for growth and self-discovery.

Furthermore, understanding the distinction between events and perceptions allows writers to delve into the subjective nature of fear, exploring how characters’ interpretations and judgments shape their emotional experiences. By depicting characters’ fears as rooted in their perceptions of reality, writers can add layers of complexity to their motivations and behaviors, enhancing the depth and authenticity of their characterization.

While fear can drive characters to make choices that lead them down dark paths, it is ultimately their moral compass, empathy, and support systems that determine whether they remain heroes or succumb to villainy. By emphasizing themes of redemption, forgiveness, and growth, writers can ensure that even in the face of fear, their characters' journeys ultimately lead to strength, resilience, and self-discovery.

[lovingperfectionsblog]

Not Like Us

Charles Leclerc x Reader

Request:

Helloo! Could I maybe request a fic where charles is dating a reader who is like medium sized and the fans are like being really mean to her and she overhears comments in the paddock about how he could get with any model etc and he notices she's starting to eat less and he's worried abt her etc . also, I really love your work!

Summary: The development of an eating disorder after you realize Charles wants something you aren’t.

Warnings: TW!!!! EATING DISORDER! Angst, fatphobia, language.

Word Count: 3927

Authors note: I really hope I have done this request justice <3 This is always such a delicate subject and I need anyone and everyone to know, if you even think you could be going down this road, please seek help! Your body needs to be strong and healthy and that is all that matters. It does not matter what you look like, it will never matter what you look like, you just need to be healthy, whatever that could possibly look like for you in your each and individual circumstance! And Mental health is one of the biggest factors of that!! Your value and worth will never ever ever be linked to your weight or how you look. If this is where you are currently, where you are headed or you know someone in this situation, pleas be kind, please be gentle and please please please get help my sweets <3 There is also nothing wrong with slimmer people either! Every body type is different and healthy in their own ways, so please just, the point is to love and respect yourself always because then you do the same for others <3 I hope you enjoy this.

_____

“You know you deserve better Charles, come on, stop playing this stupid little game, she isn’t like us, god, the least she could do is lose some weight to stop embarrassing you so much”

It must have looked so odd, you flat against the side of the motorhome, seemingly eavesdropping on the conversation that was happening behind it, a sinister undertone to it all, and you didn’t mean to eavesdrop, normally trusting Charles completely, except, this time, the girl with him was absolutely sinister. This was Katie and she had wanted Charles for longer than you’d even known him, and she was exactly what you’d expect a woman dating one of the world most eligible bachelors would be, beautiful, rich, one of those go getters, you know the kind, the one’s more than happy to step over whoever they needed in order to get what she wanted, and most relevant to this exact conversation, she was so terrifyingly skinny. The kind of skinny you always told yourself you didn’t admire, that you would never do that to yourself because who would ever want to give up everything good just to look like that?

But the deeper, darker truth was, that you did, that you would. No matter how much you tried to deny it, you so desperately wished you could look like her and that you could have her self-discipline. But you didn’t, and so you just, were so much bigger than she was.

You’d never ever thought of yourself as that much bigger than girls like her, you knew you were bigger, but God, not that much? You were what you’d considered a normal, healthy woman? Maybe you were just wrong. Maybe you had an over inflated ego? Maybe she was wrong? Maybe she was just insecure?

“I know”

Did, did Charles just agree with her?

You couldn’t stand there anymore, you had to go. You felt the heat from the embarrassment creep up your neck and onto your face. It was hot, too hot, you had to go.

He agreed.

You moved through the paddock quickly, head ducked low, thankful that this was Charles’ home race, thankful you had your home to run to in order to escape the embarrassment. No. This wasn’t embarrassment, this was, devastation. This was your heart being ripped out of your chest by your boyfriend. The man you loved, who you adored, the man you thought adored you. He had told you enough times that he had. Was he just lying? Had he been lying to you the entire time?

Your throat suddenly felt tight, the lump forming too quickly, tears threatening to start spilling. God why were there so many people here. You ignored everyone as you near ran out of the paddock. Fumbling with your pass as your hands shook.

He agreed.

As you managed to make it onto the streets you knew too well, the streets of your home, making your way mindlessly towards your flat, your mind wandered back to the conversation between Charles and the woman you now knew you hated. She had called you fat, she had called you different, he had called you an embarrassment and he had agreed. You could almost picture his face as she said those words, twisting in disgusting, and then you pictured hers, a smirk as she heard him agree with her, and this replayed over and over again, all the way to your flat, and you willed yourself not to cry.

You had just made it inside your flat before you couldn’t hold it in anymore, you slammed the door shut and had your forehead pressed to the cool wood and the floodgates had opened. You wept. Every fear you didn’t even realize you had come true in a two-sentence conversation you happened to overhear.

HE FUCKING AGREED WITH HER!

You weren’t even sure who you were angry with? Him? Maybe, for agreeing with that woman, the woman he knows wants him all to herself or maybe her? How dare she fucking say that about you, to your boyfriend no less? And he didn’t even defend you?

Or with yourself, because here, all alone, maybe you could admit that they were right.

_____

Katie had caught Charles by surprise, dragging him behind the motorhome before he could even begin to struggle against her, not that it would have been all that much of a struggle, considering she weighed about nothing. Charles didn’t mean to judge her, it was a sense a pride for him that he never thought badly about people no matter what they weighed from an aesthetics point, but her, God, she was so unnaturally skinny, and he had no idea how she even survived day to day? How did she hold her own? Charles never thought he had a type, but lord knows he now knew he loved strong women, women with some meat on their bones, women who he knew could take care of themselves and that were healthy, women like his girlfriend.

In the time Charles had all of these thoughts run through his head, Katie had begun talking to him, and by the time he paid attention he had only caught the tail end of her self-righteous monologue.  

“You know you deserve better Charles, come on, stop playing this stupid little game, she isn’t like us, god, the least she could do is lose some weight to stop embarrassing you so much”

“I know”

He hated the smug look that had crept up onto her face and he couldn’t wait to see it be wiped off in just a moment.

“So then, please explain why you are still with her”She looked like she had won some sort of prize, and Charles hated her for it. He hated that she looked down on you because you weighed more than her, despite the fact that he knew that she wasn’t healthy, he knew from some of his other friends the lengths Katie had gone in order to stay this skinny, and he knew this was definitely an eating disorder.

He hated how she looked down at you and he pitied her for how she hated herself.

“Because you’re right, she isn’t like you and that is the exact reason I love her. She is one of the most phenomenal women I have ever had the privilege of meeting and I will fight tooth and nail to keep her in my life Katie. Jesus, you are so focused on what people fucking look like and it is fucking pathetic at this point. And for the record, Y/n, she is strong and healthy and loves herself and lord knows when she has my children, God willing, she is going to teach my children to love themselves relentlessly and I just can’t believe I am trying to justify my girlfriends looks to you at the moment. I’m done Katie, stay away from me, stay away from Y/n, and please, genuinely, as someone who just cares, please get help, because you’ve lost too much” Charles felt the heat from his rage creep up onto his face as he stormed away from Katie, ignoring her protests and the insults she flung at him, wanting nothing more than to find you and worship every single inch of your body, not caring that he was technically at work, but he needed to ground himself and if that involved the two of you hiding in an abandoned office as he did so, well, he will take what he can get.

He looked for ages before he finally opted to try and phone you, the call being declined almost instantly and a message coming through not long after that.

“Felt sick, went home, good luck for the race” It was all he had gotten from you. He had tried two more times, each being declined as the worry grew in his chest, messaging you that he loved you and hoped you felt better soon, and he’d come by after the race.

There was no reply.

_____

It had been one year since that day, and you were quite literally a different person by this point. You hated to admit it, but you had thrived off of the new comments about your body, ignoring the more concerned ones that littered through the comments on social media, focusing only on those built you up.

“Oh my god look how good she’s looking”

“Charles must be so much happier now that she’s lost all that weight”

“Well done girlie!!!!! You look so much better with all that weight off”

It was comments like that that had made it all absolutely worth it, and Lord knows it had been difficult. Gym twice a day, minimum and majorly restricted eating was tough, but you had done it. You’d finally fit into clothing all those other girls could and you felt so much better looking in the mirror, although, you knew you had a few more kilos to lose, this was an amazing start, and the look on katies face made it even better, because now suddenly you were equals, equally as pretty, equally as disciplined and now equally as skinny, actually, you think you might be even smaller than her now.

What was truly great though, the thing that really made all of this worth it, was whenever Charles would look at you, whenever you got undressed in front him, which you were doing more and more frequently the more and more you lost, his eyes would rake over your figure, his fingers would drag along your skin, you loved the feeling of when he tapped against the bones in your hips, the sound of skin against bone and you knew he loved it.

You weren’t an embarrassment anymore.

You knew he now fully loved you.

And so, you promised yourself you wouldn’t stop, not yet, you needed to be smaller, because if you were smaller, then you weren’t an embarrassment and if you weren’t an embarrassment then Charles would love you.

You would love you.

_____

“Lunch” Lorenzo plopped down next to you, placing the salad in front of you, his own pasta dish in front of him, shoving Arthurs across the table. The two boys immediately tucked into their lunch with their eyes avoiding you while you sat, pushing a strawberry around as you gathered up the courage to eat.

You had already had your allotted calories for the day, Charles insisting on foods that you’d hadn’t had in months for breakfast, and you had felt sick since then. You’d resigned yourself to not eating this salad. Lorenzo and Arthur wouldn’t question you, they were happy that you’d lost the weight too, they were happy for Charles, they were happy for you. They wanted you to lose more. They would understand. They would encourage it.

Yes. Okay, it was decided. You weren’t eating lunch. If you were remembering correctly, you were allowed to have something small this evening and then you wouldn’t be eating until tomorrow afternoon again.

No salad now.

“You not eating?” Arthur asked through a mouth full of food, glancing between you, the salad and Lorenzo.

“Oh no, I ate this morning” you shot him a smile, they’d understand. They’d encourage it.

“Yeah, that’s breakfast, this is lunch?” Lorenzo shot Arthur a look as you laughed, although it sounded more forced than the natural laugh they were used to hearing. Both Charles and Lorenzo had spoken to him about this, nearly trained him on how to talk to you about food and eating, knowing they had to do this delicately lest they do any more damage than had already been done.

“I’ll eat later, don’t worry little Leclerc, I’m gonna go to the bathroom” you kissed Arthur on the head as you made your way around the table and they watched you, like a hawk as you left, neither forgetting the day you had stumbled because you were so dizzy. You put it down to getting up to quickly. They knew it was because you hadn’t eaten in nearly 2 days.

“What the fuck was that?” Lorenzo whispered towards Arthur, ready to climb into his little brother who sat before him, mouth full and eyes wide.

“Isn’t she getting better?” Arthur genuinely thought he had heard Lorenzo and Charles discussion how you had gotten better, he truly thought it was a harmless comment.

“No, we were talking about how she ISN’T getting better, and we may need to get her admitted so she CAN get better you tit!” Lorenzo hated having to deal with this situation, hated constantly having to keep his eye on you and your eating habits and report back to Charles, but he didn’t hate it because it was a burden, he hated it because the situation had gotten this bad at all. The entire family had grown to love you, God, you were family at this point, both Arthur and Lorenzo having sat for hours with Charles going through ring options for the one he was going to eventually propose to you with, but that had all been put on hold as the fear of losing you before that could even happen had gripped the entire family, and if it had a hold on all of them, it had a vice grip on Charles.

“I’ve got to go chat with Charles, just, stay here with her, don’t talk about food or weight or just, talk about, the race, that’s it, that’s all you’re allowed to talk about, the race, I’ll come get you two when I’m done” Arthur nodded as Lorenzo got up and left him there waiting for you.

Arthur hated that this is what your relationship had become with him, planned conversation because you hadn’t even realised you’d gotten so sick, you two used to have so much fun, your inside jokes had even disappeared, your sickness overshadowed everything, and he felt bad for being angry with you about that. He knew you were sick, he had it explained to him enough times to get it, but he was still angry. He was angry that he couldn’t just be himself with you anymore. He was angry that every single little thing had to be planned just because you might get worse. He hated that this had driven his brother into a hole of anxiety at the fear that he might lose you, not because you broke up or anything but because you were withering away to nothing.

He hated that you were willingly killing yourself. Did they not make you happy? Did they not make you feel loved? Were they not enough to stick around for?

_____

“Didn’t touch her salad, said she’d-“ Lorenzo stopped as soon as his eyes landed on Pierre in Charles drivers’ room.

“He knows, it’s okay” Charles urged his brother on, desperately hoping that they had managed to get you to eat today, because if they hadn’t, the Charles was going to make the executive decision to get a psychologist to admit you.

“Kind of hard to miss” Pierre didn’t mean for it to sound so rude, but everyone knew what was going on, well, everyone but you it seemed. He was thankful Charles had spoken to him about it first, because if he didn’t, Pierre was going to have to start the awkward conversation with his best friend about the fact that the woman he loved was killing herself, and now that Charles had looped him in on what was going on, it meant there was more he could do to help.

“She didn’t touch her lunch?” Charles had pushed off the wall he was previously leaning on, making his was to the centre of the room to have this discussion with his brother.

“She said she’d eat supper, said she’d eaten breakfast, didn’t want to push her” Lorenzo could feel the fear radiating off of his brother as silence settled between the three men in the driver’s room, both Lorenzo and Pierre waiting for Charles to decide what he was going to do from here on, both knowing that he’d given the deadline till today before he got professionals involved.

What they didn’t expect was the reaction that Charles had given.

The silence was shattered as Charles threw what they could only assume was his phone against the wall, and then there he stood, mouth wide, a scream ripping through the room, face red and a ragged breath was all that followed after a few moments.

The entire garage had gone silent, Lorenzo popping his head out the door just to reassure everyone that Charles was okay. Pierre’s head dropping, staring at the floor, making sure he stayed to help Charles, but making sure he still gave him his privacy.

“I’ll call the psychologist tomorrow” it was all he could get out.

What else was there to say? They had tried. He had tried, but he couldn’t stand there and watch you waste away anymore and clearly what he was doing just wasn’t enough.  

“I’ll talk to her tonight, and I’ll call the psychologist tomorrow” he wasn’t sure who he was telling this plan to, Pierre and Lorenzo or himself.

“It’s for the best” Pierre tried to reassure his friend, oddly grateful that you’d actually be getting the help you need. Finally.

“I know” Why did Charles feel so scared then? Why was he dreading this so much?

_____

“What do you want for supper” Charles was throwing out a hail Mary, praying that you would give him something.

“Oh, I ate a big lunch, don’t stress about me my love, want me to make you something though?” you wished you had felt bad about lying to him, but it had gotten so easy. You had justified it that you didn’t want to bother him with all of this, he could just reap the rewards of it.

“You didn’t though” this was it. He was going to talk to you about this. It was now or never.

“Of course I did baby-“

“Lorenzo told me you didn’t” were you seriously just lying to him?

“Why do you sound upset?” Charles could do nothing other than stare at you, wide eyed.

“Why do I sound upset? WHY DO I SOUND UPSET? MY GIRLFRIEND! THE WOMAN I PLAN ON MARRYING IS STARVING HERSELF TO DEATH” he knew shouting wasn’t the right thing to do, but he had already exhausted every other option,

“I’m calling a psychologist tomorrow” just rip the band aid off.

“What do you mean you’re calling the psychologist tomorrow?” he couldn’t do this to you. Everything you had worked so hard for. He couldn’t do this when this is what he wanted.

“You need help Y/n, you need help and I have tried everything, and it is not working, I don’t know what else to do” he couldn’t look you in the eye, not with how betrayed you looked, “I can’t lose you”.

“Charles! This is what you wanted!” how had he suddenly just changed his mind? How had he just dismissed all the work you had done?

“What I wanted? What the fuck have I done to make you think I could have ever wanted this? I am here, worried out of my mind that you are going to die because you have lost so much weight and you think this is what I wanted? You are the woman I love, you were strong, you were healthy, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen AND YOU HAVE BEEN KILLING YOURSELF!” what had he done, how had he fucked up this badly, “What did I do to ever make you feel less, how do I fix this, please, fuck, I need to fix this!”

“Katie”

“What the fuck does Katie have to do with this? She’s been out of our lives for the last year?”

“Yeah, about a year ago, I heard you two talking, and she said I was embarrassing you and you deserved better, and I wasn’t one of you guys and I was fat and then you said ‘I know’” the memory was still so vivid, for both of you.

“How long did you stick around for that conversation?” Shit, this might have been his fault.

“I left as soon as I heard you say you agreed with her” you had to sit down, a combination of not eating and the stress of this conversation getting too much for you.

“Okay, so you completely missed me telling her that I know that you’re different from her and that’s why I love you and think you’re beautiful? You missed me telling her to fuck off and stay the hell away from me and you? You missed all of that, chose not to talk to me about it and then decide to literally kill yourself via starvation?” he watched as the realization dawned on you, he watched your face drop, and he thought he would feel better once you had finally gotten it, but he didn’t he still felt sick, he was still scared, “I just want you back.”

“Charles, please, I didn’t realize, I’m sorry” you weren’t sure if you were sorry though, you liked how this all had made you feel and you knew he knew it too.

“Okay, then I’m calling the psychologist tomorrow and you’ll get help”

“Charles-“

“No, that’s the only option here” he was going to throw up, “I can’t sit here and watch you wither away”

“What do you mean?” you felt bile rise up into your throat, surely he couldn’t be insinuating,

“You either are going to go and get help or I have to leave” This isn’t how he wanted things to go, this was cruel, and he knew it, but if this is what it took, then he’ll be the bad guy, he would happily be the bad guy, you could hate him till he died for all he cared, all that mattered was that you got better.

The silence went on for too long, he was so sure you would choose him, but suddenly that confidence started to waver, the longer you sat staring at the table, the less he was sure you would choose him.

“I’m scared” you whispered out.

“You aren’t going to be doing this alone, I’m here, and as long as you’re fighting, so am I, please, my love, please, I can’t watch you do this to yourself, not anymore” Charles was one more ‘please’ away from getting on his knees and begging.

“Call them” he let out a breath was didn’t even know he was holding, making his way to you, needing to hold you, thanking every god out there that he hadn’t lost you just yet.

“Thank you, thank you baby, I love you” and for the first time he let himself cry, the relief and fear both coursing through him and this was the outlet, he knew you were still there, the you he had fallen in love with, the confident you, the you he knew that loved yourself, he placed a kiss to the top of your head as you both stayed silent, the evident battle ahead of you becoming more and more real the longer you sat there, but before you both started on that journey you sat there, in silence, thankful for the love that existed in this space, the love that was brave enough to do whatever it took to make sure you got better.

“Thank you for still loving you”

_____

Taglist:

ricsaigaslec

amulhermaisfelizdomundo

miniminescapist

0-atmilk-latte

d0ntjudgemy50shades

[hayaomiyazaki]

hannah hauxwell — the farmer who lived a humble life in the unforgiving high pennines, who found her purpose in living amongst the unfertilised grasses and the sheeps and cows, who asked for nought but appreciated every moment — passed away today, january 30th, six years ago. she embodied the spirit of the dales and was one of england's most beautiful examples of living not on the land but with it. despite the intense solitude she faced living alone for decades with no running water or electricity, neighbours miles away, unbearable cold and ever declining health, making due on a couple hundred pounds a year for most of her life, she never looked at her home or her circumstances with a moment's bitterness. in fact, when she was 60 years old and accepting the reality her fragility, she said, with tears in her eyes,

The time will come, perhaps pretty near. But it is a proper...a big upheaval, emotionally, physically, mentally. It's just as if my world was falling to pieces. Everything I've known and I'm sure of. Security, everything. I don't know how I'll leave here. Or how I'll feel after I have left. It's my world and its lovely, lovely scenes. The moonlight on the water. I think it's one of the loveliest things. I stood and watched sometimes even when I was tired. In the wintertime — I don't like the winter — it's marvellous. I'm very lucky to live in such a lovely place. [...] The beauty, to me, there's nowhere like it, never will be. And whatever I am, wherever I am, this is me. This is my life. And if there's a funny old person in years to come, a ghost walking up and down here, it'll be me. A big part of me, wherever I am, will be left here. That's me. There's nowhere else. There's nowhere like it.

i implore anyone and everyone to watch the documentaries about her modest life, and her wide-eyedness and gentleness and informed wisdoms:

too long a winter (1973) — the yorkshire television production that began it all, following hannah's daily life during a brutal winter

hannah goes to town (1977) — at the age of 51, hannah takes her first ever trip to london to accept 'woman of the year' at a charity luncheon

a winter too many (1989) — over 15 years since the first documentary, the same film crew revisits hannah and her farm, where some things have changed but most are just the same

hannah hauxwell: innocent abroad (1992) and hannah: usa (1993) — hannah, who is finally retired from farming life, travels the world

she collaborated on multiple books about her life, all of which i recommend, starting with daughter of the dales.

because hannah's farming techniques were completely traditional, void of re-seeding and fertilisers, the fields around her farm maintained a rare, rich floral composition. now considered a site of special scientific interest, they are aptly named hannah's meadows and are operated by a local wildlife trust. i believe she still walks those hills today. rest in peace, hannah ❤️

image

[itsdeniini]

Could you do a reading for katseye group dynamic? thank youu

PART II ABOUT HYBE'S NEW GLOBAL GG KATSEYE: GROUP MEMBERS DYNAMIC + their personalities

a tarot reading જ⁀➴

PART I : About their concept and success in the US

First of all, all the members are so cool! 😭 The energy those girls are exuding is just so bright, and all around the place, they are the definition of spreading positivity to the masses. They know how to have a bit of fun and connect not only with the public but also between each other, as the debut lineup found a common spell instantly, as if they were meant to be in one group. Now we'll talk more about the members personalities, and later I'll say a bit about their in-group dynamics.

MANON

The Queen of Cups, The Strength, The Star 𖹭

Manon is such a sincere person with a beautiful soul. Her heart is genuinely very good, and she's getting unappreciated for that. At the end of the day, there aren't a lot of people quite like her. I feel like she's also struggling with her own emotions, but she's keeping this ocean of emotions to herself because she thinks that nobody would appreciate her vulnerability. She's so strong for fighting through the difficulties and the circumstances she was put in, as this was something completely new for her, and she wasn't 100% sure she made the right decision to even join the group after being announced. But I think she made the right decision and remained. She has strong star potential, and with more improvement, she'll be able to reach high peaks. She was also the final piece of the puzzle that the group needed—the connection point. Although she has a fragile heart and can get overwhelmed by her own emotions, she knows how to keep her own image and continue to fulfill her obligations.

SOPHIA

The Empress, The High Priestess, 2 of Pentacles 𖹭

Oh, that's queenie! 👸 She has a personality with leaderlike qualities and a lot of compassion for what other people have been through in their lives. Her energy is giving "girl power,"  like she'll gladly carry after her the people who may struggle. Sometimes she may appear unrealistically gentle and soft to the public that is not that familiar with her, to the point where everybody appears oblivious to her strong spirit and rich inner world. She's also holding herself to a high standard in everything, not wanting to appear lesser than anybody else. She can stand by her idea in order to protect her heart from being damaged. Also, her emotional palette is very diverse; she can experience a full spectrum of them, and that's cool, she has duality, something that will most probably help her in her artistic career.

DANIELA

The Fool, The Page of Cups, 7 of Cups 𖹭

She's a bit crazy in a good sense! Her energy is very different from that of the other members. While the other girls are advocating for team building and are good team players, she's more of an independent type. She would make a good solo artist, but starting a group is not a bad decision for her either; she'll gather a lot of experience. The same as Sophia, she has a vast and cosmic inner world. She's so imaginative, sometimes floating in her own fantasies. She most probably had people in her life that told her that she's hard to figure out or that she has a lot of everchanging interests and hobbies, and words like, "Girl, stick to something! You change your attitude/personality/vibe way too much every time." They are just not grasping that she's naturally a chaotic person, and that's not a bad thing. The other way around, that shows she can and will be embodying anything that she will consider her aesthetic, like a chameleon, and thanks to that, she will stand out a lot as time passes.

LARA

The Tower, The Queen of Wands, The Sun 𖹭

The universe has blessed this girl with so much originality! To the point where all that originality can be compared to a bomb that is tick-tack... about to EXPLODE 💥 In a nutshell, Lara is so cool! She likes to keep things real with everybody, and her personality can serve as a blueprint for many other people because she has those special qualities that make her unique. She has a strong backbone to herself, and at first you might think she's so serious, but nah! Lara is sparkly and so funny! She will truly shine as a performer, and with the constant development of her own skills, she will thrive! Everybody should keep an eye on her; she's full of surprises.

MEGAN

The Page of Swords, The Moon, 8 of Pentacles 𖹭

She's on her own wavelength! It's looking like she's in the chapter of her life where she's discovering her own personality, and that's okay; she's the second youngest member after all. I feel like, thanks to this experience, she will discover a lot of new things about herself and will show impressive improvement. Until that time, her light will start to shine brightly to the point where it's dazzling, she will be somewhere in the second roles, as if she will be underappreciated and underrated! People will be sleeping on her for some time, and VERY BAD for them! If there's a member whose potential is still leashed, then that's Megan. In the future, she'll show more versatility and all the other sides of her that she's still oblivious to, discovering everything step by step. She has a great future ahead of her; she should keep it up, and the stars will align for her.

YOONCHAE

The Chariot, The Magician, The World 𖹭

I know a Sagittarius in 5th House girly when I see one! Her personality is so fascinating~ I can compare it to a magnetic field, you know? You can get so easily drawn to her natural charm, and that's the right reason. She's so young but has a clear vision about what she's meant to do in this lifetime, and that's all thanks to her determination and confidence. It's like she found a key to a door in the world of loving yourself to the fullest so early in her life; isn't that fate that she achieved what she was dreaming about for a long time, hm? That's what we mean when we talk about empowerment, and she will display it more and more in the future! If she plays her cards right, then she'll achieve massive success in a short period of time. All she has to do is be 💃smarta🕺baby💃smarta🕺.. c:

☆Their compatibility/ group dynamic☆ ˆ𐃷ˆ

Katseye's members vibe is on point; they're totally in sync ahead of their debut! Each girl brings something exclusive, and together, they're so good. Their energy is infectious, and they know how to hype each other up. They're not afraid to keep it real between themselves, which makes their bond even stronger. They are just at the start of their path and yet to discover more about each other, but if they continue to share a genuine friendship, then they'll get even closer to their common goal of achieving success not only in US but also globally! <(˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)>

Their current synergy: 3 of Cups, The Sun, The Empress, The World, The Fool

That was it, hehe! I wish Katseye a successful debut (𖹭)

[gaslightgatekeepgirlbosscombat]

Group A, Round 1, Poll 4:

Propaganda under the cut

Azula

Personal gain and because she was gaslit herself.

100% pure girlboss. So good at lying and manipulating that the magic human lie detector can’t figure her out. Gatekeeps her father’s “love” from her brother

Azula was considered a prodigy in firebending at a young age. And she manipulates and plots to get what she wants.

They (gas)lit stuff on fire, gatekeeped the avatar from the Fire Nation, and girlbossed all the way into insanity

Akane Kurashiki

Zero Escape spoilers! Akane Kurashiki is dead. Died in an incinerator as a child. But she's right here, isn't she? She's talking about mummies and the Titanic and I'm holding her in my arms. But also she's Zero, mastermind who trapped us here and threatened our lives. That guy literally just exploded. But Akane couldn't have done that, she's so sweet and she's so scared. Also she's dead? But wait, she's right here, and she has a fever again.

lied to a group of ppl including her childhood bestie so they'd enter a death game she planned, she's so funny. also later planned another death game to save the earth etc

GASLIGHT: - Lies to everyone and pretends to just be an innocent quirky girl when in reality, she is the mastermind behind the situation everyone has been put in. - Pretends to be sad and concerned when the bastard who almost killed her pretends to do a heroic sacrifice to get everyone's sympathy. - Pretends she's put bombs inside everyone's stomachs. Really, she only put bombs inside the people she wants revenge on. - Pretends that she and her brother aren't related. - Erases her fiancé's memories and makes him forget he proposed to her so she can go to the moon and stop the outbreak of an apocalyptic virus without him getting in the way. - Puts herself into a schrodinger's cat situation where she's both living and dead until you decide what door to walk through. - Manipulates her way into a Mars mission program. - Makes a guy think he is 45 years younger than he actually is. - Pretends she is going to stab two people to force them back in time. - Manipulates a child into participating in his father's research so he can act as a spare if necessary. GATEKEEP: - A psychic who gains near omniscience in some circumstances, but refuses to explain snything unless it suits her plans. - Says ""Only God decides who lives and dies!"" But she kills several people. Perhaps only God and Akane Kurahiki decide who lives and dies. Or maybe they're the same person? - Manipulates a woman into breaking up with a man so she can kidnap him and bring him to the moon. - Refuses to let her boyfriend meet her when it doesn't suit her plans. - Kidnaps two women and puts them into a coma for 45 years. GIRLBOSS: - Very willing to kill to achieve her goals or get revenge. - Queen of random trivia. Will info dump about her interests whenever it suits her (including when she is trapped in a freezer with two people). - If anyone touches a hair on her boyfriend's head she will not hesitate to cut them down with a chainsaw. - Stages not one but two mass kidnappings and killing games (that we know of). - Great at multitasking, she manged to save her own life and dispose of the people who almost killed her at the same time. - Uses her knowledge of the future to manipulate the stock market and become super rich. If that doesn't scream girlboss I don't know what does. - Starts her own organisation to fight cult leaders and save the world. - Has two nemeses, the CEO of a pharmaceutical company, whose life she completely destroys and a >100 year old cult leader. - Co-runs a moonbase where she has command of AIs and robots.

[spider-xan]

Also, while I do like the Insomniac version of Harry, I do think it's worth critiquing how the Insomniac games approach the issue of wealth and the wealthy bc as I have discussed before, the games have a confused position on corporations and billionaires where they are evil, yet worth protecting despite the immense harm they cause - and the writing for Harry very much positions him as a foil to Norman where Harry is the Good Billionaire to Norman's Evil Billionaire, where Harry is kind and compassionate and uses his wealth to help the world (in the most bizarre eco-capitalist way, like, sorry, but the EMF is basically the idea that capitalism and super technology will solve things like the climate crisis instead of the whole system needing to be dismantled), and going by the art book, he even wears casual clothes instead of suits bc he's so relatable and down with the poors like Peter; Harry in this universe is basically the perfect person and has zero negative influences from growing up as a billionaire.

And again, I like him, but it is worth considering the broader picture of why a billionaire character would be written like that, especially in a narrative that leans into capitalist apologism at times - it's not even a source material accuracy thing bc 616!Harry is a VERY flawed person in the way Insomniac!Harry isn't (and this is arguably part of the recent trend in adaptations to idealize Harry as perfect, but that's a whole other discussion); I think some of it could be due to the rushed pacing and writing at times, like the story needed to establish the Peter and Harry friendship quickly and didn't have time to give Harry a more complex personality that might dampen the BFF soulmates they needed for emotional moments to hit, but who knows.

This is definitely an issue with Emily Osborn as well bc while you can handwave some of it as us only really knowing her through Harry's perspective and he idolizes her, plus the way the dead get put on a pedestal, especially if they died young under tragic circumstances, the narrative does present her as objectively a saint - but this is a rich woman who willingly loved and married Norman Osborn, who doesn't exactly hide his evil, so either she was extremely naive for a grown woman and lawyer or she was fine with what he was doing, and neither reflects well on her, but I feel like she would be more interesting as a complex flawed character than the objectively perfect billionaire angel the game writes her as.

[triptychgrip]

Would post-canon Viktor ever regret not attending college/university?

Viktor Nikiforov is very obviously a genius; canon makes this extremely clear, especially with respect to his creativity and skill in crafting all of his own choreography. The following veers firmly into headcanon territory (unless I've missed something from the YOI creators), but I don't get the sense that Viktor ever pursued higher education, at least up until the point we see him come to Hasetsu. With how demanding we know the sport to be, it makes it all the more impressive to know that Yuuri pursued getting a college education while juggling the breakneck pace of multiple competitive seasons.

That being said, does anyone think that a post-canon Viktor -- perhaps after deciding to retire after his comeback -- might ever come to regret or feel insecure around his not having attended university?

I'd like to note first and foremost that having a college/university education doesn't somehow make someone a more 'valuable' person; however, this is unfortunately what society at large can often make us feel, whether that's based on the measure of how 'impressive' someone is, or their likelihood to achieve upward economic mobility in the most standard sense (i.e. one where you aren't super super famous and rich by way of having garnered sponsorship and endorsements).

Even with Viktor being a genius, it seems possible that his potential insecurity around this may develop when he starts to look at things from an opportunity cost angle. Aside from the fact of what having a college/university degree can signal in the way of social currency (ugh...I hated even typing that), there may also be an aspect that's more weighty, emotionally: we know that it's lonely being at the top, and that Viktor was used to people putting him on a pedestal. To this point, he may have felt he didn't have a ton of opportunities outside of skating to make friends in a very meaningful way. Would attending college/university have been one means for him to combat some of the building isolation he experienced as he began to lose his inspiration?

To be clear, this might not be something that he thinks about a lot, post-canon, but with the right circumstances, it could be a regret of his that he doesn't even realize he harbors.

As for what those circumstances might be, I imagine it's complex, because as much as Viktor adores Yuuri, this could be an aspect of his fiance/husband's past that he gets jealous of. And what if federation politics had been part of the equation? As in, is it possible that the FFKKR (Russian figure skating federation) tried to dissuade Viktor from considering the pursuit of higher education in a way that the Japan Skating Federation seems not to have, for Yuuri?

It got me thinking about a possible fic concept (and as soon as the seed sprouted in my mind, I told my brain to shut up, because I already have several WIPs going, and definitely do not need to split my attention even further): one where a few years post-canon, Yuuri gets invited to an Alumni Awards Banquet for his university.

At this point, he's perhaps not only an Olympic champion, but maybe he's racked up a few World's or Grand Prix Final titles as well.

In any event, Yuuri is asked in advance to give a speech at the ceremony: something a bit generic, no doubt, but with the loose instructions that he's supposed to talk about how his time in university contributed to his development as an athlete. And Yuuri is reading over the bios of the other honorees, and perhaps marveling aloud to his husband over their accomplishments...accomplishments that he can't begin to wrap his head around, given the other awardees' backgrounds in fields extremely removed from elite athletics.

Now, of course, Yuuri doesn't have any sort of underlying agenda in talking to Viktor about this; he's not trying to suggest that the other honorees are people he suddenly wants to be best friends with (and this is besides the fact that, even with a few years of building confidence in himself, Yuuri isn't suddenly magically going to become an expert at making friends).

But what if Viktor starts to project based on what he's hearing?

They're all going to be together at the awards banquet at some point, and what if he isn't able to "keep up", so to speak, with all of the impressive people they're surrounded by? It's probably likely that a number of people might never have heard of Viktor or Yuuri prior to their attending such a banquet, but even still, at least Yuuri has the aspect in common that he actually went to university. Perhaps the "divide" between himself and his husband begins to feel stark the nearer and nearer the ceremony approaches.

How will he get through the event? Especially knowing that this is not the kind of banquet where the event organizers might be inclined to overlook sudden drunken stripping/pole-dancing...

Perhaps he and Yuuri might need to have a frank conversation where Viktor starts to reveal what's been on his churning mind.

In any event, it's fun (and a little heartbreaking) to come up with headcanons around this, and I am wondering what folks' thoughts are? Or, perhaps you have fic recommendations that speak to this point about potential regret/insecurity?

[rachelillustrates]

My top 7 Faerie stories/worlds atm 🦋

**Note, I am super dupes aware that I haven't read/watched everything, so please feel free to reblog/comment with recommendations!**

Faerie is the pulse of my heart, and my mind/spirit/etc. spends a LOT of time thinking about it, SO here's the most resonant of depictions of the realm/faeries themselves in my current opinion (and why).

(And not in any particular order:)

Elfhame, @hollyblack 's "Folk of the Air" series and all related books

Arda, Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" and all related adaptations

"Suitor Armor" by @thepurpah

Studio Ghibli's take on spirits in Japanese folklore

Brian and Wendy Froud's take on Faerie

"Fraggle Rock"

"Tock the Gnome," by myself!

Thoughts:

(Art by Rovina Cai, from "How the King of Elfhame Learned to Hate Stories")

I feel very much that Holly Black gets the lushness and richness of Faerie, plus the trickery of it, and that level of dangerous beauty - what attracts humanity to it, etc. How everything is in extremes, too, but also how parts of it echo the human experience - both in terms of courts, but also in terms of the heart, and the emotional impact of intense circumstances and intense feelings.

I am, admittedly, not all caught up yet since I haven't read her earlier works, but of course I recommend starting with "The Cruel Prince" and reading forward from there (the more recent "Stolen Heir Duology" having an extra special place in my esteem)!

(Also special shoutout to the fact that there are Nisse - Gnomes! - in the recent books, AND that her take on Redcaps is absolutely Orcish 💚)

(Also also, cw: Changelings. They can be a triggering/upsetting subject, considering how our concept of them as humans seems to have come about. She does make pretty heavy use of them, but not in the ways that one might expect, and always from a very emotionally-centered space - not a humans-abusing-potential-fae space.)

So, Tolkien - yes, I am including the world of his works in this because even though he considered them religious and specifically-denominational, he took SO MUCH inspiration from folklore and faerie tales (do not even get me started on what got edited out of "The Silmarillion" istg) that Arda is not wholly Christian, from my Faerie-worshiping queer-ass faerie perspective thankyouverymuch. Not to mention what is being done in fandom with the faerie-races, especially the Dwarves and the Hobbits, AND what recent adaptations are opening up with the Orcs!! Obviously, his take on Faerie is a much more literally-grounded reality - they exist in the Earth-based world (as if Faerie has bled into what we expect Earth to be), they have magic (at least the Elves and Dwarves do) but it's both somehow super ethereal and super physical at once. And divinely connected, since the biggest magic in Middle-earth (or any part of Arda) comes from the lesser Gods - the Valar, and the Maiar who serve under them as well as from Big Sky Daddy Eru, but we're not talking about him right now. So that, to me, really speaks to the spiritual nature of Faerie too - which is always always always personally interesting to me, and Jrrt's take on the fae was absolutely foundational in my budding concept of them, before I even really thought about who they are in a conscious way.

I don't know where to recommend starting, since I got into the world through the Jackson films, first, and I wouldn't change my experience for anything because it's given me SO much. But in fandom, shoutout to the works of @conkers-thecosy (read her fics here!) as well as "A Long List of Happy Endings" by vicious_summer and "The Mushroom Mine" series by @chrononautintraining for Dwarf Stuff - and "Splint" by HelenaMarkos for Orc Stuff. Plus, as much as I know it's divisive, "Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power" is - again - doing wonders about the Orcs AND doing very well by the Dwarves too, in my opinion, showing them as a fully realized and thriving people (though Dwarf women should still have beards, Amazon!! And there seems to be some confusion around how the name of Durin functions...)!! Available to stream on Prime, here.

"Suitor Armor" takes place in a world that appears very similar to medieval Earth, and as such the worldbuilding itself doesn't feel very specifically Faerie - yet. However, with the main character having significant ties to the fae, and with the story still having space to explore their culture once the tale takes the characters there, I have faith that we are gonna see more of this take on Faerie specifically soon. In the meantime, what we have seen so far - how faerie magic works, how they relate to each other, etc. - rings true for me, and is lovely to behold, especially in the face of the tragedy around their circumstances in the Big Plot.

Free to read here (and coming to bookshelves in 2025!!).

As for Studio Ghibli - Miyazaki's take on the spirits of Japanese folklore - which are absolutely Faerie - was SO formative for me growing up. I don't have anything else to say about that except that he's right!!

I recommend "Princess Mononoke," "Spirited Away" and "My Neighbor Totoro," particularly. All available to stream on Max right now (but buying physical media is better, and they're very likely available to rent other places, too).

Brian and Wendy Froud's work has, of course, also been absolutely formative for me - especially when I started getting into Faerie properly. Their work doesn't require much commentary either - they're just correct 💗 Nothing I've experienced has ever contradicted what I've read in their books, and I feel like their work really, really gets the energy of the fae and the liminality of their existence. And that there is kindness, and light, as well as danger.

I recommend "Trolls" and "Faeries' Tales," to start with, and of course the quintessential "Faeries" by Brian Froud and Alan Lee, which started it all.

(Also, considering what's below, special honorary shoutout to their work on "The Dark Crystal." Definite overlap there and absolutely counts.)

Obviously there's some crossover with The Muppets here, considering they come from the same studio, BUT if we're looking at just "Fraggle Rock" on its own - absolutely. Though a very different take than those mentioned above, if you're looking for the whimsy and delight at the heart of the fae, the Fraggles have it.

Both the original series and the reboot are currently available to stream on AppleTV.

Okay, and my own! What I'm doing with the world of "Tock the Gnome" is a little bit different - again, we're looking at a realm that isn't free from some of the physical bounds we find on Earth - but in its vast history there is Faerie at its purest, and the characters are on a Big Quest that will be instrumental in restoring the realm to what one would expect of Faerieland (all wrapped up in a body-positive, sapphic-presenting queer romance, btw). My focus is on Gnomes and Orcs, in particular, since the fact that they're also fae is a big part of my message. Recognizing that, as well as recognizing the importance of connectedness between people and the balance of that and personal sovereignty, and how damage to those things might impact the whole of a magical realm.

All pages available to read for free here, across several platforms (with print issues available here).

🦋💗🦋👏👏

[awearywritersworld]

If All Else Perished: IX

Daemon Targaryen x Hightower!Reader

Summary: In part four, Daemon takes the reader far from the confines of King’s Landing to a place of his youth and feelings can no longer be kept hidden. 

Word Count: ~2950

Warning: super light smut

a/n: enjoy the fluff now, my friends, for the next chapter will be angsty as hell

masterlist

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“Are you sure he would not mind a stranger for a rider?” you asked, taking a hesitant step toward Caraxes.

“In your case, I have no doubt. Just as I know he would bring you no harm.”

You approached the dragon and took hold of the saddle, in spite of the apprehension you were feeling. Looking toward his head, you wanted to catch a glimpse of his eye once more.

“What makes you so certain?”

“He knows that you are precious to me.”

You bowed your head at his seemingly unfettered charm, though it was enough to make you start pulling yourself up the saddle. You settled into it as best you could, unfamiliar with riding horses, much less being on dragon back.

The saddle was spacious enough that Daemon fit behind you, but he was pressed against you so closely you could feel the warmth of his body on your back. His arms reached around you to grab the reigns and you clutched the leather beneath you tightly as Caraxes began to move.

The ascent was the most frightening part, as you were almost certain you were going to fall to your death. As King’s Landing grew to be further beneath you, your grip moved to Daemon’s forearm and became tighter and tighter with each passing second.

Eventually, Caraxes began to fly forward instead of upward and you were finally able to take in your surroundings, which did not disappoint. The sea looked so immensely vast, while the city below you appeared smaller than ever.

“How do you fare?” Daemon checked up on you now that your death grip had loosened.

“Well enough,” you answered, “though I am still toiling to convince myself of the reality of this all.”

His chest vibrated behind you as he laughed, “I can understand why that would be necessary.”

You glided high above the water for a long while, spotting boats and little islands here and there. You could hardly believe how far the water spanned and it brought to mind stories you’d heard about what lies beyond it in Essos.

Time seemed to pass differently from the top of the world, but you figured an hour or so had gone by when Daemon finally pointed out an island in the distance. As it grew nearer, Caraxes began to circle it, giving you the chance to see how sizable and rich with greenery it was. The creature seemed to have its sights set on a large field in the eastern part of the island.

You braced yourself for the landing, but Caraxes met the ground more nimbly than you’d expected. Daemon climbed down first and the loss of contact was almost chilling after being so close to one another for such a period. You wrapped your arms around yourself as you inspected the surrounding area.

Lush vegetation with blooms of lilac and indigo gave way to a small beach, while a densely wooded area occupied the space on the other side of the field. The trill of a bug you’d never heard before filled your ears and you considered how few people had probably visited this island before. You found delight in the feeling of ease that settled into your bones as you reflected on that thought.

The only places you’d ever been--- Oldtown, King’s Landing, Lannisport ---others always surround you, never leaving you too far from reach. This was the only time in your life you’d ever questioned how far the nearest person was, save for the one who had brought you here. Such freedom was a circumstance fully unfamiliar to you.

When you looked down at Daemon from atop Caraxes, you found that he was already looking up at you. “Won’t you join me?”

His hand reached up in your direction, letting you know he was there to assist if you needed it. You made your way down slowly, careful of each step. As you approached the ground, his hands ghosted over your body, ready to steady you if necessary. Your feet managed to find the grass without help, but the soreness in your thighs made your legs buckle.

Daemon quickly grasped your waist, worry evident in his voice. “Do you feel unwell?”

He knew that nausea was not an uncommon reaction to one’s first time on a dragon, especially for those who did not have the blood of Valyria.

“No, I fear my legs are not accustomed to riding on dragon back,” you informed, turning to face him.

His eyes widened ever so slightly and he hoped his brief, yet sinful thoughts were not obvious. Pushing them from his mind, he held out his arm to you. “Perhaps stretching them a bit would help?”

You accepted with a nod and began your stroll, eyes scanning the tree line. “So tell me, what is this place?”

“My brother and I used to fly here together when we were younger. It lies not far from Dragonstone.”

You glanced at him from the corner of your eye, but he was looking intently toward the beach as your steps carried both of you in its direction.

“Then I imagine it is a place dear to your heart. I feel very fortunate in having the chance to see it.”

Your earnestness caused a pleasant feeling to wash over Daemon’s body and the conversation ceased, giving you the opportunity to admire all the new sights. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore grew louder as you approached a shady spot situated just before the grass transitioned into sand.

“Does this spot prove acceptable, my lady?”

“The entirety of the island is acceptable,” you returned, giggling at his formality, “I’m happy to rest in any spot you choose.”

You could taste the saltiness in the air as a breeze carried the mist of the sea inland. Caraxes, now a little ways away, had taken to bathing in the sun while the pair of you made yourselves comfortable. You sat so close to one another that your arms brushed together with the slightest movement.

“I’ve never even dreamed of being in such a place. I struggle to think of a time in which I saw a view even half as beautiful.”

He hummed in agreement, his eyes focused on your face rather than the scenery, “me as well.” He pulled his gaze away from you before continuing, “I haven’t been here in ages.”

“You’ve not had the time?”

“Not exactly. As my brother and I grew older, our relationship shifted. It’s more... distant now than it used to be.” He let out a sigh, shoulders falling as he exhaled, “it felt odd to come here alone.”

Daemon was the type of man to disdain his own vulnerability, so he shut it out as often as possible. Nevertheless, here alone with you, the way your face softened in response to his openness made him wonder if he’d been mistaken in his beliefs.

“I can understand that. As moons pass, the ways in which we differ from our siblings seem starker,” you paused for a moment, thinking of your own sister. “But perhaps he thinks about coming back here with you, too. Did you explore the whole island together?”

Daemon’s answer came quickly and you knew he was eager to reminisce about the time they shared here, back when their relationship was less complicated. The sun moved through the sky as he told you their stories and you listened intently to each of them, adding your own interjections here and there. The memories he recounted were some of his most valuable.

He loved how your laugh rang out over the field, making his heart beat out of rhythm, while the tales of his youth distracted both of you from your father’s intentions regarding your hand. You never once seemed uninterested in what he had to say and he happily returned the favor.

He had just finished telling you the story of his name day of four and ten, in which he and Viserys skipped out on festivities to come to the island instead. Their father had been furious, though the two couldn’t help but snicker together as soon as he turned his back.

Being with you always made him feel different than being with anyone else. There was an untold peace he derived from your unquestioning acceptance, from the space you provided him with to be himself. He pondered how long it would take the King and the Hand to find you both were you to remain here in the serenity of each other’s presence.

Alas, wanting to return before the sky shifted to the black of night, Daemon stood and offered you his hand, looking in Caraxes’ direction. You took it and allowed him to pull you up, but kept your fingers interlocked longer than necessary.

“How long did it take Viserys to realize he’d left his sword behind?” you questioned, still curious to learn more. It felt odd to imagine such a young version of the Prince.

“Entirely too long, of course, but it was waiting for him when we came back.”

The soft smile on his face as he looked down at you and the sounds of the island made your heart feel more content than it ever had.

“It gladdens me to hear you speak of such fond memories. Thank you for bringing me here, Daemon.”

“For you, my love, I would do most anything.”

Heat rushed to your cheeks as the meaning of his words set in, "as would I for you."

The past few weeks had been strange in that, you closed yourself off to almost everyone following your mother’s death. Yet with Daemon, there existed a comfort that should have taken years to build, even in the beginning. He never made light of your troubles and he trusted you enough to seek your counsel, just as you had with him.

Despite your father’s looming proposition, you felt safe here in Daemon’s company. In a place so far removed from your father, it seemed without point to deny how badly you wanted the man before you.

Your proximity to one another seemed more apparent now than it had prior in the day. You did not miss how his eyes flickered down to your lips, so you looked at his too, imagining how they might feel against your own.

Tilting your head to the side, you leaned up toward him almost imperceptibly. His brows furrowed together, your actions tormenting both him and his dwindling resolve. He had told himself over and over he couldn’t get involved with you in this way because it would only end in him failing you. Even so, he neglected to pull away as your noses brushed together.

“I’m not a good man, (Y/N),” he whispered.

"You've always been good to me," you answered so assuredly that he almost forgot the anger he'd thrown at you undeservedly when he stormed into your chambers just hours ago. Not only had you offered him absolution, but you’d also assigned yourself some of the blame.

You reached up and ran the back of two fingers down his jawline before you laid your palm against his chest. He let out a shaky breath and his forehead came to rest against yours. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment and the waves seemed even louder when they were accompanied only by your breathing.

“I promised myself I wouldn’t be selfish with you, not like this.”

“That decision is yours and I could never scorn you for it,” you told him honestly, wanting his choice to be genuine. “But I will not be misunderstood. It would be your decision alone, for I know what I desire.”

His hair was carried by the wind, tickling your skin as it grazed the side of your face. As moments ticked by, your chest threatened to deflated with the rejection you’d attempted to prepare yourself for in past weeks.

Suddenly though, his hands were on either side of your face, pulling your lips to his. Your eyes closed as you leaned into the kiss, his tenderness making your heart weep. His left hand crept to the back of your neck, as the right came to hold your hip and pull you closer.

As your body molded itself against his and he found that your kiss was just as desperate as his own, he felt an intense sense of relief. It elicited a moan from his throat so faint, it almost escaped your ears and you considered yourself lucky it hadn’t. Your mouth parted as his tongue swiped across your bottom lip, then his kiss moved to the side of your mouth and up your jaw.

There was an aching, warm sensation in the pit of your stomach that was unfamiliar to you and you subconsciously pressed your thighs together in an attempt to alleviate it. A gasp left your mouth as his lips reached the place just below your ear, but relentlessly, they made their way downward.

Your heart was beating so viciously, you wondered if he could feel it as his lips devoured your throat. Your fingers tugged at the hair at the base of his head and when he took the skin of your collarbone between his teeth, he savored how the rise and fall of your chest deepened.

Regardless of how badly he may have wanted to, he was mindful of leaving you without any marks. He pulled back and looked down at you, examining your countenance carefully for any sign of regret, but all he found were plumped lips and a look of affection he doubted he would ever be worthy of.

He loved you. It was no longer something he could push from his mind because this moment had made it real, for you and him alike. His lips captured yours again, but the heat of the moment had passed, replaced by lips that brushed against yours gently. Then, he grabbed you by the chin, lifting your head so that your eyes found his.

“What is it?” you asked nervously after he had spent a few too many seconds staring.

“Am I not allowed to simply look upon you, little one?” he retorted playfully.

“Of course you can,” you replied sheepishly, “I only m-”

“Good, because you are perhaps the most sublime person in all the Seven Kingdoms.”

His interruption left you in complete silence and he truly did try to stifle the chuckle that resulted from it. Despite his efforts, he failed, causing you to roll your eyes before walking toward Caraxes and leaving him behind.

“I spoke not in jest!” he called out to you, taking quick strides until he was by your side again.

“I know,” you said simply, grabbing his hand in a way he might have described as aggressive had he been in a mood to tease you.

The journey back to King’s Landing had felt too short, but this time, his hand occasionally rested on your thigh as Caraxes soared across a darkening sky. Making your way through the city felt strange too, as you’d only ever traversed through its streets when the sun was still high in the sky. Now, torches lit the way through alleys and crowds that felt eerier than before.

You were all but glued to Daemon’s side, not that he would have preferred it any other way, until the two of you reached the Keep’s tunnels. You came to a passageway that was known to you, as it was one near your chambers. Before you were able to step through, Daemon's fingertips reached out for yours and caused you to stop.

“This is where we part ways for the evening.”

He stepped toward you and delicately cupped your cheek. You blinked up at him, the castle feeling so incredibly removed from the safety of the island. It reminded you both that carrying on like this was dangerous, even if it was a shared desire.

“May I?” he murmured, his head dipping closer to yours.

You nodded and he gave you one long, lingering kiss after which he pulled away only an inch or so.

“I am entirely undeserving of even your slightest attention, so it seems only fair that you should have my heart.” He said it as if he were talking about something as inconsequential as the weather, then brought your palm to his lips and pressed a kiss there. “I leave it here, in your hand. Good night, my lady.”

You stared as he disappeared down the stairs, leaving without so much as awaiting your reply. Your fingers reach up to touch your lips as you stood unmoving. The events of the day left you with a whirlpool of emotions, each fighting for dominance of your heart in their own right.

Unsure of how long passed, you finally crept out into the hallway and toward your chambers. You hoped to find yourself in Daemon’s company again before long, missing his presence even though you’d only been without it for so short a time.

To your surprise, you heard a group of footsteps heading in your direction. You planned to offer them a brief nod of your head before continuing on your way, but then the person was revealed to you.

“Your Grace,” you greeted, eyebrows raised as you took in the Queen’s intricate gown and the guard on either side of her.

“Lady Hightower, it is good to see you, as always. Are you well?”

“Very, your Grace. I hope the same for you.”

“You have my thanks, sweet girl. Good evening,” she smiled warmly at you before making her exit.

As she passed you, however, she picked up a smell that made her glance back at your retreating figure. Dragon.

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