#i mean not really but im tagging it bc i know it will be perceived as such

[fancyfade]

Honestly I'll confess I've never understood why people claim Battle for the Cowl Jason is OOC when he uses pretty much the exact same rhetoric as Batman: Under the Red Hood Jason (which many fans regard as IC)

batman 641

Battle for the Cowl #2

like either way: Gotham is evil and must be controlled through violence, fear is ineffective as a tool so you have to kill people

IG most people don't like that he shoots Damian to distract Dick, but that's p much the only thing that really could be argued as going against his previous rhetoric, if you put a lot of stock in "no selling drugs to kids" line. but he also has been shown in other comics under winick to be willing to kidnap teenagers (Mia) and in other comics at the time to be willing to fight them and beat them up (Tim). and he's shown to be willing to kill people before giving them a chance to change and follow his rules (link). Him being willing to shoot Damian to distract Dick honestly just feels pretty consistent to all of this, and the version where he would be immediately protective of him or empathetic seems like more fanon-oriented retcons or going off new 52 continuity, which wasn't in effect here yet.

IG the most OOC thing I'd say is probably trying to explain Jason's motives as one traumatic unidentified event that happened before his death, which is done via Bruce's recordings. Jason just being an angry kid who was always down the path to becoming Red Hood is also present in Winick's telling of UtRH, which I also don't like because I don't like the Robin retcons, but in terms of his actions as an adult I don't see much that is very different from his other actions as Red Hood under books that are regarded as IC.

[mostlymaudlin]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers 💫

thank you @decaflondonfog for the tag !! ill tag @sillyunicorn @starwarned @urban-sith @tea-brigade

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

98!! (woah) plus an unrevealed t&n fest fic, so 99. wow i need to do something rly crazy for 100 lol. what if i do a ridiculous crossover of all my fandoms and everyone in the fandom tags will hate me. 

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

544,914. (again. woagh)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

mostly all for the game and simon snow series, have dabbled in & posted even less for check please, captain america, and one direction! i feel like i’m missing something but regardless my fixations are hardcore, so all except like 4k of that posted wc is for either aftg or ss hahahha

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

all are andreil! boyfriend privileges (4k, T) / Trigger (62k, E) / flashes of intimacy (10k, t) / Would you still love me if I was a worm? (6k, T) / Inside Thoughts (1k,T)

man this is long, rest is going under the cut lol

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

not very often, but i wish i did. i am stricken with a combination of being really awkward when people are nice to me & being bad at interacting with anyone in ways i fear could be perceived as ingenuine. im not sure if that makes sense LMAO. and sometimes when i put a story out, i kind of feel like i’ve said my piece — i’ve put so much into it that i don’t really know what else to say!

anyway, i always reply to questions, because that’s got clear social boundaries hahaha, and i DO love talking abt my stories!! and sometimes i’ll reply to comments that really get me thinking. but yeah, i know i reply less than i could, and i want to like double down on the fact that i am endlessly grateful for everyone who has ever left a comment on my work <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i have killed simon snow twice lmfao. i’d actually classify icarus as rather hopeful — it’s about grief & healing. but legacies is just fucked up lmfao

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oh man, i write a lot of happy endings haha. i feel like even when my story is tonally darker (rare), it still has a happy or at least hopeful ending. this is probably not the correct answer, but i think sing of the moon has a really vividly happy ending. like — the sun rises for the first time in the whole fic! amazing. or maybe my high school au, We Can Live Forever, which is just the happiest thing i’ve ever written. 

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not really, thankfully! people are smartasses sometimes but overall ive been lucky. there have been a couple of fics where ive winced before hitting post, but it usually ends up fine

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yessss. i guess i mostly write tender smut, bc i write tender things in general. i think my smut tends to be rather exploratory/playful as well? intentionally sloppy and awkward choreography hahaha

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

sort of LOL. once upon a time i was betaing @tea-brigade's medieval snowbaz au, Reliquary of an Arsonist, and there’s this part where three highway bandits mug simon and baz and then get blasted by simon’s chosen one magic. i am sick in the head so im in the google doc like “lol what if its kandreil.” and then i was like… what if it was kandreil….. and so i wrote Reliquary of a Bandit

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don’t think so

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes!!! and i’m really thankful for everyone who has done so <3333 shoutout to russian aftg translators, yall go HARD

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i recently collaborated with @thewholelemon on our episode of Star Trek: Redemption, Heart-Shaped Box. by which i mean: i wrote the outline & a few scenes, got really overwhelmed, and jenny turned it into something worth reading! 

i also wrote Good Boy in the snowbaz stoner verse with @starwarned, which was rly fun — we sat in the google doc for like, 5 hours trading back and forth on POVs as we wrote pure porn together LOL. it’s funny to think about this, because lauren knows like everything abt me now but we did not know each other as well back then!!! and we were just like “yeah lets write porn together” hahahahha 

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

right now it is deeefinitely andreil… they are everything to me for reasons i just cannot possibly be brief about LOL so ill just leave it at that

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i have a postcanon snowbaz time travel/time loop wip that i was going to try to write for COBB this year but i fucked up the deadlines then the brainrot was like “guess that means more andreil !”. i did SO MUCH research for it and i think it’s rather clever and smutty and fun bc they are yeeted back to watford era! but it’s also dealing with snowbaz, who are in their late 20s and are like in a relationship low point/actively fighting when they end up in the loop… so they are dealing with that tension at the same time as they are trying to get out of the loop. and also fucking around watford to fulfill fantasies HAHAHA

16. What are your writing strengths?

characterization is the thing i care most about! and i think that’s the draw of fanfic in particular to me — i love getting such a grasp on a character that i can translate them into endless situations while still making them feel true to self. i rarely let myself publish anything until i can read through the whole thing without any he would not fucking say that moments hahahha. this is of course pertaining to my own interpretations of the characters, which is the only thing i care abt lmfao

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i rely a lot on body language because im always writing abt reticent fuckers who cant use their words. but i think i sometimes overcompensate, or describe actions that don't actually fit the scene. i've seen this described as "cheek-biting" -- like, throwing in action during a conversation just to delay the pacing/further the tone, but when you really look at it, it's not necessary. (cheek-biting being like, "character bites at their cheek" in the middle of a tense conversation)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i don’t really know any other languages! i think i’ve put a little bit of french in neil/kevin/baz POVs before, but my french knowledge is elementary at best. love the idea of it though.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

one direction babyyyyyyyy !! i wrote quite a bit of it in like 2012-2015 but published very little. there’s 1 on my ao3, some lost somewhere on fanfiction.net (i dont rmr my username lol), and tons in my folders from my old laptop lol.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

hmmmmm. im gonna cheat bc i cant pick a single favorite. i always say i think No Turning Back is some of my best writing from a craft standpoint, and it also includes my favorite type of conflict (andrew self-destructing lol). however, i reread both that fic & We Can Live Forever on a plane trip recently after not having touched either for 6+ months — and the solidness of We Can Live Forever actually surprised me, especially because i wrote the majority of that fic while i was stoned and also view it as just exceedingly silly. the world of it is just very rich, and also very very different from the typical character backstories, and i’m very proud of how much that reread played with my heartstrings.  

ok last one — there are several installments of my flashes of intimacy series that i come back to a lot, because i’m proud of what they each accomplish in 500 words. especially because i often turn to those when im trying to express my own emotions lol. specifically, my favorites are picking fights, i don’t mind, swimming lessons, and practicing gratitude.

that was such a bullshit and cocky way to answer this lmfaooooo. but tbh i am my own biggest fan and that is by design — i write stuff so that i can reread it months later and have it be perfectly catered to my tastes. i love all my fics <3

[spearxwind]

Aw man I'm really glad people enjoyed the caption to my hades drawing too. That makes me really happy -w-

I have been thinking of him a lot especially like lore and backstory stuff the past month or so. I actually took a trip into his tag today and i was pleased when i saw some older posts that said 'idk anything about him yet' basically, and to think that now i do is really nice like hell fucking yeah thats solid progress! that i wasnt sure i was gonna manage but i did it!! and in terms of backstory and such im still ironing out the kinks but man. its good so far i think... i love him a lot. i wanna do him justice.

i have to settle on more stuff for cd before everything fits though. namely connon I really need to rework her super bad. or do away with her entirely idk but i dont wanna do that... she might jsut need like. a complete overhaul and a fresh coat of paint too or something tbh bc she also deserves justice!! unfortunately i just keep not knowing what to do with the poor girl like hello. i dont want her to just Be There but I keep having trouble. i love her sm but what is her deal fr!!

I will also try to include more lore in my captions from now on i think... the urge to be a little funnie in them is always there but that one post i saw the other day really stuck with me. you have to be earnest in order for others to perceive what you do as such and reducing everything to humor takes away from it if it is not originally meant to be humor. basically what im saying is i will take better care of my captions from now on!! or i will try to at least. because my ocs and headworlds mean very much to me -w-

[thelovelybitten]

HII so TY SO SO much for rebloggin my stendy (kinda??) FIC!! :DDD im super glad u enjoyed it and i loved readin all the lil hashtag thingies ??!!! i would've responded to the reblog but im still not too sure how tumblr works,, or how to dm folks. BUT JUST TY SO MUCH! it means the world to me <33

of course !!! I loved it so so much :’) (dw abt Tumblr, at first it’s a doozy but you’ll get the hang of it !!) (I also write everything and anything in my tags, so thank u haha)

I know ur fic was more Wendy-centric for her development and character, (which, thank you—we love girlboss Wendy, I love her so) but the stendy got me really hooked just because of the way you wrote them ! I like being able to see their flaws as a couple—without wendy being perceived as a total bitch (like some anti’s in the fandom paint her out to be) and Stan being honest with his feelings instead of completely neglecting/ghosting her like he does. In the fic, Wendy does prioritize her life so she can build a life with Stan, but she doesn’t realize she’s hurting him in the process. It’s how the two of them should be written. They do have toxic traits in the show that are very questionable ( their jealousy, for starters… stan’s dependency on her, wendy’s insecurity with everything stan does that’s not controllable…) but it’s times like in this writing where they do grow a bit and finally accept they don’t work out. It’s extremely hard on them because they’ve been so co-dependent that they can’t see life without the other.

on that same coin however, people need to understand that they can work together but they have such big contrasts and complications that they have to work on for the relationship they want.

sometimes they just. need to be on their own to figure that out. and that’s why this story ended up being so good because Wendy found her worth and now knows what and who she is without him.

they need to take care—find themselves before they can have someone else.

Wendy needed this. She’s such an activist in the show and in this story…Stan at the time just wasn’t helping like she thought he was. And he knew. He needed to let go.

Wendy is her own self at the end. It’s so nice to see. We love character development and to see her find confidence in who Wendy Testaburger is and will continue to be.

it was really refreshing, really. thank u <3 thank u for giving wendy depth bc that’s my baby girl and I love her forever

FOR MY FOLLOWERS READ THIS FIC IMMEDIATELY >:(

(P.S. I’m also just a stendy lovebot, I’ll take my crumbs even if not intentional, lol) (they get back together in my mind but that what stories are for—different interpretations).

:)

[milchig-de]

Vent

Pairing: Character & Reader

Summary: You talk about your problems. Not relationship related.

Warnings: This is basically just vent writing. Very depression, existential dread

Notes: i imagined scaramouche as the character but you can put whoever you want there. ill tag it as scaramouche x reader bc of that but really it doesnt matter. its one am, im tired and sad. please dont be mean to me

_______________

You sit on a chair, a beverage in front of you. It is a warm day, although not warm enough to be unpleasant. Lifting the cup to your lips, you take a sip. You are unable to discern what you are drinking. You put your cup down again.

Someone approaches you. They sit down in front of you. You greet them and they greet back.

Silence.

What are you waiting for? Start a conversation.

"So... nice weather we have?"

The person across you doesn't respond. The look in their eyes tells you something is wrong. They seem to doubt you, ask you if that is really what you wanted to say. They ask if you truly do not have other questions to pose.

You unnecessarily clear your throat.

Another silence.

This person isn't here to make small talk. Think of a meaningful question.

...

Or don't.

Truly, if you have nothing important to say, why are you here?

"When do I ever have something important to say? My life bears little meaning in the greater scheme of things."

The person still sitting across from you answers.

"Perhaps that is so."

"Then... why should I say anything?"

"You can sit in silence. But isn't that boring?"

"That's precisely why I always say nonsense. It's better than bearing this agonizing silence."

They do not respond.

Speak from your heart.

"Sometimes I wonder... If none of what I say is of importance, what even is the substance of me? In other's eyes I am defined by what I do and say. So am I not essentially unimportant?"

"Do you consider yourself unimportant?"

"..."

"I guess I do. I don't particularly care about myself. I barely feel as though I even have a presence. I perceive and interact with the world I am in, but I do not take the time to truly spend time with myself."

"What does it leave you with?"

"A certain sense of... emptiness."

"What do you do about it? Do you just let it fester inside you like a some species of mold? Like some parasite?"

"I usually fill it with things that aren't real. Hell, I'm doing that right now. You aren't real, this place isn't even a place and this beverage isn't anything."

You point at your unidentifiable surroundings to stress your point.

"But when does it end? When do you lose your touch with reality? When does your true self begin? Do you even have one? Or has your entire existence been based on things that aren't there? On things so terribly out of reach that it's fucking pathetic you're still trying?"

...

"I know I'm weird. And I know this weirdness makes me unloveable. I don't know what to do about it. Everything I do only makes my life worse. Every day I wake up alive, I see no possible improvement. No one will come around to help me. That isn't how it works. I need to be proactive, but do I even deserve any help? I haven't done anything of importance and all I will ever reach is mediocrity. What's the point in trying if I will only come so far? "

...

"Maybe there is no point."

Both of you look to the scenery. It's quite beautiful. Perhaps it, too, is undeserving. But at least it is there. Even if the point is truly gone, you will still be here, for better or for worse.

"For worse, I'm sure."

Regardless of it all;

Tomorrow is another day.

[yinyuedijun]

(HENGFENG BLEACH ANON) (*SMASHES THROUGH THE DOOR LIKE A SLEEPER AGENT BEING WOKEN UP*) I AM HERE I WAS BUSY W OTHER GAMES ASIDE HSR (we do not look at the unfinished paperwork at my desk do not perceive I will work on it once I'm finished doing my dailies) but yes. That. Mmmmh. Yes. Double Aventurine. Present and Future Aventurine. The wonderful self-cest which is somehow more fucked up than Hengfeng itself. I cannot write for shit. I do not have the time but mama Mao you must perceive my carnal vision. BUT FIRST FINISH 2.2 bc my idea hath spoilers for it so I beg of thee to FINISH IT.

Okay but the two "" fighting"" (i say that w quotations bc something about is it really a fight when you already know the outcome? :]) over you bc ofc the only time Aventurine will ever feel threatened is when himself is the opponent in question. I can see this happening when they're still stuck in Ena's dream, maybe [Aventurine] appears in [Kakavasha]'s dream with you. Where nothing had went wrong and [he] is the ideal man for you and everything is okay. [Aventurine] who mocks this idylic dream [Kakavasha] has by ntring him and with you becoming increasingly torn at who you want [Aventurine] or [Kakavasha]? (yes I wrote this w either translation mc or the casino table mc in MIND bc alpha malewaife mc would turn this soft real fast and turn it into a lesson for the two that no matter what they would love him and it becomes a threesome vanilla sex DO YOU SEE MY VISION MAMA MAO DO YOU SEE IT IM GONNA GO INSANE MAMA MAO)

ANYWAYS TUMBLR PLEASE SEND ONG

SCREAAAMMM HELLO HENGFENG BLEACH ANON I CANT BELIEVE THE SUMMONING RITUAL WORKED ??? now I know how to get your attention I simply need to post selfcest art of our faves HAHAHFDJSLSSJ

AND YES I SEE IT I SEE THE VISIONNN..... never did I think I would see ntr in my inbox I'm about to ascend godbless 🛐🛐🛐 <- fully revealing myself as a complete degenerate ig. I'm incredibly h-word over this but I'm also somewhat fascinated by the idea that Harmony!Aventurine ntring the reader and making them feel conflicted actually means that the reader kinda PREFERS how Real!Aventurine has been treating them in reality AGLFDJADJS VERY PAR FOR THE COURSE. especially casino pwp mc that one is a complete freak (I'm still not sure whether they're the same mc as translation but they're lowkey a freak too so it applies both ways LMFAO)

DYING that u immediately understood the outcome w alpha malewife even though I haven't posted the fic 💀 I agree it would end up with a threesome and ykw I think Real!Aventurine would end up being in the middle. the Harmony and alpha malewife will be tag teaming him and showering him with praise 👍

[starredforlife]

Jeez, do really so many people say they find you intimidating? Granted, I don't know you irl, and even here through Tumblr I'm just one person who follows you and that's it, but still, to me you always seemed nice? Enthusiastic. Goofy, even. I like your style, it IS masc and #cool, but like... I don't feel like that makes you intimidating. "Nomás sos canchera", to put it in Argentine terms.

Btw I'm just sending this due to your tags on that poll 'cause Ik you have mentioned that before andbI felt like the outsider who doesn't find you mean and intimidating, don't pay that much attention to me 😅

Idk it’s like conversations I’ve had with a couple people recently and it absolutely isn’t all based on appearance BUT that’s part of it that’s been told to me. Not suggested but cited. So!!

However I would say it’s more personality. Ofc on here I’m more fun n goofy bc it’s Star’s Mind Palace. I repost pictures and draw werewolf art and I’m vain and silly in the tags. It’s relatively earnest. When I meet people I’m not like, guarded in a mean dog way, but I put up a front. Most of how I talk comes out as a mask of metered and Sharp jackassery, with a confusing blend of genuine interest in people. I’ll talk to you like I need you to prove yourself to me. But also I want to make sure you feel included. This, I’m learning, terrifies people. Mostly I learned this when I was young bc I had to prove my intelligence constantly, so I emulated that intense scrutiny in conversation, I think, and I work in a v male dominated industry that absolutely hates the gentle approach to conversation (for the record, I do not hate it and respect it immensely. It’s also just not how I naturally work unless I’m in a more vulnerable setting).

It can be summed up by the fact that I shake girl’s hands when I meet them in gay bars. Apparently. That is not. The expected thing to do.

Idk I had a whole paragraph after this but it disappeared. I was saying smthn abt how I was. Working on it. Essentially. I Don’t Care how people perceive me bc I trust my perception first. I’ve always designated it as the other person’s problem if they dislike me. I’m learning how people perceive you matters for specific things. Especially friendships. This is very hard for me to grapple with bc I don’t like when others tell me what to do or how to be, At All.

It’s all in moderation ykwim. I’m not going to give up my confidence or my standards but I will work on trying to not make people feel like they’re cornered into a social pass or fail exam when they first meet me. I am intense and I can’t stand bullshit and sometimes I’m genuinely belittling or judgmental if I’ve decided I don’t like you off the bat (if you have failed the Vic Standards, which are always under deconstruction) and the latter is, in some parts, fun if the other person is a proven asshole. But it’s not really healthy. And I can’t start conversations with earnest intentions that way. So I have to grow. I have to let it matter a little bit.

Sorry, you got like. A Vic psychology breakdown. I’m also intimidating bc I’m great at lying, I speak very professionally, and I respect myself enough to make others feel like they have to do the same. I’m not scared easily and I like making arrogant men feel one step behind me. I maxed out on whatever deck makes you both charismatic and completely unapproachable. You’ll probably never meet me irl but I do think it’s v interesting how im perceived on here and so I appreciate the insight and the question!!

[yatiso]

Hey I was just peaking at the reblogs for my addition bc I did not expect it to pick up any kind of traction but then it did dhjsks anyways I want to clarify that when i said its not the artists fault what I meant (and didnt say bc I felt it was a whole other discussion oops thats on me) is that its the labels fault. Recording labels are notoriously nefarious in how they exploit artists and i didnt wanna blame all artists for that (tho some are def part of the problem as a whole they are not imo). I hope that clears things up and I enjoyed reading ur thoughts!!!

omg when i was typin up those tags i was literally hoping op wouldnt read bc it came off so cunty >~< im not upset at you im just really passionate! record labels ARE notoriously horrible but i rlly feel like if an artist has a backbone they can figure out SOMETHING ya know! is a painter a painter if they only paint what and how and when theyre told to? is an ai algorithm that produces something that makes u think of a painting based on what you feed it a painter? no! it might be interesting, might be cool— but theres no substance to it, intrinsically— the art aspect would come from the person putting in the keywords or the viewer (art is in the eye of the beholder, but art isnt art without some sort of soul.) would u want to only see ai paintings forever? would you get bored with meaning strictly coming from how you perceive it and knowing that thats the case? or would you start to crave something created by a real person? record labels are horrible and theyre seemingly doing just that with music! but i feel like if its not common knowledge that record labels are rancid rotten… then im not sure what is! i think with such an in flux of Artists that are more Face than talent, and with Influencer becoming a dream job for every one their kids and their mom, if someone that is Not an artist decides to try make it big as a musician for fame (or sells out for the maintenance/continual acquisition of fame) then i think theyre also to blame and theyre gonna get (and according to the streams, are getting) whats coming to them ya kno. (note that im not saying Bad Artists, music is subjective but i think its very easy for ppl to recognize on some bare minimum level when someone famous/trendy that puts music out that doesnt have a musical bone in their body, or a vision/idea to express truly) like its late and ive been up since 6 am so im passionate but the adderall is wearing off so im not sure how much sense this makes, but an artist, i feel regardless of most situations, is responsible for what they put out, especially with how easy it is to do the work of a record label pretty much on your own now.

[jesskasb]

EXTREMELY LONG POST AHEAD YOUVE BEEN WARNED. DO YOU LOVE THE COLOR OF MY WORDS?

i've been so scared of posting my opinions about recent media because i want to maintain some kind of unproblematic agreeable image out here. i don't want to say i enjoyed something for fear that enjoying it means i am morally required to reblog or discuss every critique others have to make sure people know i am aware that it is not perfect. i suppose this comes from this increased ideology that people who like things need to do so critically at all times, and they need to demonstrate that or they're a bad person; which is stupid, obviously, but i have somehow internalized that because i wanted to make the small of audience of this blog to know im not stupid or "problematic" or whatever. which is another stupid thing to want because this blog is supposed to be for ME and not other people, and ive always tried to uphold that mentality by posting whatever i wanted and always saying my thoughts in the tags. but obviously, my feelings have had something else to say about it and ive been holding back opinions and expressing my enthusiasm for things because of how that enthusiasm may be perceived and misinterpreted, even though im aware that everything ever will be misinterpreted by somebody eventually and that is out of your control and its ok. this dissonance between what my logic tells me and how i actually feel has been bothering me a lot. even now im like oh i should put this under a read more so it doesnt bother people! while logically i know i want to post this as is because its some meaningful introspection for ME and thats what matters, truly. it's why i have this app in the first place. so i can express myself through text in eays i can't in real life for one reason or another.

either way it seems i've fallen into the social media trap of making everything content and palatable to as many people as possible, making things relatable and clever so others will enjoy it and i will be known as someone to be liked. all for the fleeting dopamine of a like and a reblog or a follow.

and then, because these feelings frustrate me and i have been in denial about them, i have also fallen into the trap of the "let people enjoy things" mentality. that scares me because it just goes to show how easy it is for someone to slowly get on the side of perpetuating a lack of media literacy or even shit like proshipping and stuff, when actually my feelings are not related to that at all but rather a dissonance between wanting to be palatable for everyone and wanting to talk about my interests when the reality is that there is not really anyone stopping me from saying whatever i want except for myself. im the only one who cares about this and the only one that is bothered. i've always looked down on a "what will they say" mentality and i hate that i've become so used to the way ive been thinking that i started ignoring the fact that i shared the mentality.

ok im just repeating myself now. point is. i want to work on getting back the mentality of posting for myself and being honest with my opinions not because i want to start discussions or get clout for being opinionated but rather because i truly enjoy analyzing things and expressing my thoughts. so. in an effort to do just so ive decided to unpack some of the media that have really reinforced the need to conform.

• let's start with the biggest elephant in the room: oppenheimer. i know! i know. no fucking wonder. "but hear me out!!!!" (headass need to justify everything i say and do so i wont be perceived incorrectly). i went to watch it with my stepdad at 11pm after the rest of our family went out to have boba tea without us bc we were resting, even though we LOVE boba and they couldve simply asked if we wanted to go. so the whole outing to the movies was spontaneous revenge and i loved that. it was a great bonding experience. in the parking lot we found two 20 dollar bills on the floor and the way we both dived to pick them up was hilarious. he was faster than me. we got some shitty churros and no popcorn and into the movie we went. now, the movie itself, i honestly did not like it and didnt have a good time, i was trying soo hard not to fall asleep. i was sleep deprived, tired, and honestly science and politics arent my thing at all. and that is obviously beside the fact that the whole plot was hard to follow because they tried so hard to make the audience sympathize with oppenheimer and frame it as if he really knew no better than to participate in the war and making the choice to kill thousands of japanese civilizatians. i was trying not to chew my arm off at the theater. ugh.

i will say i found the use of audiovisual distortion to represent dissociation and high stress brilliant. obviously its not the first media to do this but i think it made amazing use of the audio of a theater and the nature of film. i saw that post about how "if i cant see a movie in the comfort of my house and i have to go see it at the theater to get the full experience then its not very good" and i honestly think thats bogus. in fact im glad and i agree that something that can only be experienced in a theater full of people with good audio and a giant screen has value. chris nolan may be pretentious about it and fuck him but its like. the nature of a thater itself is not stupid and streaming it is different. theaters are about getting together with fellow humans and seeing something live and valuing the fleetingness of not being able to replicate that same exact experience again. whether its a musical or a play or a film youll never see the exact same thing with the exact same audience. and theres beauty in that.

• barbie was fun. it was different and refreshing from the usual stuff in mainstream theaters and i can really respect it for that. i cant believe mattel allowed that depiction of their own company to be in there but yeah theyre winning in the end. really good marketing. when the girl called out barbie for doing irreparable damage to the feminist movement i thought that was very based... im really biased because when i was younger, as a little hispanic poc girl who was chubby and kind of weird, i was just so bitter about everything that barbie was. because she wasnt me. she wasnt like me. she was like everything everyone said was pretty and that idea of pretty wasnt me. and i hated it. i wouldnt play with my blonde white barbies and i was obsessed with the one tan barbie with curly haired i had. she was a ballerina in a blue leotard and a tutu. i took off the tutu because i thought it was too feminine and i wasnt too feminine and i wanted her to be like me. but i still knew i could never be a ballerina because i was chubby and not athletic. it was the closest a barbie doll would ever get to being me though, and i was satisfied. i ended up relating more to my entire collection of g3 ponies than barbies.

going back to the movie; i think the message is important even if it wasnt handled perfectly. its a step in the right direction. we've been talking about this for YEARS and it has finally made its way to be told directly in an extremely mainstream movie. thats good! im glad! and i had fun laughing my ass off at the funny parts with my friends. i was ready to watch it alone after a hangout with my friends but some of them decided to join me and i love it. im very happy ive found people who want to go out with me and include me and like being around me and respect me. its been a while. i coughed a lot during the movie and my friend said "...do you need a cough drop, alex" at the end of the movie and i was so embarrassed and it was funny. my car keys fell in between the seats and it was scary but the employees were really nice about it. when magic ring ken appeared i yelled COCKRING KEN! and it sent my friends and a stranger next to me into hysterics. i had a great time and i wont forget it.

• good omens. neil gaiman has been a figure of great dissonance for me. i genuinely like his books and posts but im also aware that saying you like his work comes with all this other stuff that people assume is true, especially on tumblr, because he can also be really annoying. i dont support EVERYTHING he does of course but i love good omens and at the same time i was scared of what people would assume about me for sharing posts of season 2 and being excited about it. loved the first season of good omens and i was criminally deranged about it back in 2019. i liked the new season a lot! (SPOIILERS AHEAD SKIP TO AFTER THE Picture IF YOU WANT TO AVOID THEM) i missed the characters a lot and michael sheen and david tennant are just such stellar actors and you can really tell how much they like aziraphale and crowley. and gosh i just love when everyone involved in a production is as passionate about it as fans are. i will say michael and beelzebubs thing felt really fanservicey and i wasnt the target audience for their relationship. heres some more thoughts i want to share

besides that i mean fuck i would watch aziraphale and crowley talk about the weather for an hour. their banter is amazing. i also love the final episode drama. i just love mythology and exploring how all the fantastic bullshit fits into the real world. its why i like percy jackson so much, and i think gaiman really succeeds at urban fantasies (or magical realism?? not sure) extremely well. im not familiar with the work of terry pratchett but someone whose opinion i value likes his books so i wanna check em out one day. i had a good time with good omens and im excited for season 3. got a lot of theories but im lucky i have a friend to talk that to about so i wont keep you here much longer.

• the witcher. im SO passionate about the witcher show you guys have no idea i got my entire family to watch it and im able to connect all the dots and shit i love the world building i love the characters i LOVE LOVE JASKIER. but i hate the writing. i hate that i havent read the books and im progressing incredibly slowly through wild hunt so i feel like a poser and not a true fan. i hate that its so mainstream and i hate the way that i hate that. my feelings about this are not as dissonant and strong as the past three media i listed but i feel like it was the first straw. i just have this need to justify liking it and saying oh its not a good show but i like it haha sorry. IM NOT SORRY! I ENJOY IT A LOT, FLAWS AND ALL! AND I THINK ITS GOOD BECAUSE I AM STILL WATCHING! but i will stop watching after this season i refuse . liam hemsworth makes me puke while henry cavill is not only attractive but he genuinely cares about geralt and the witcher series and i dont want to watch something where the lead is just a replacement for someone who wanted better conditions and treatment and didnt receive it. fuck

• young royals. i just shat on it heavily back when it started trending on tumblr bc i thought it was some stupid teen drug show that had some shallow romance but honestly i think it was the internalized homophobia talking idk i gave it a shot and im LIVING for the drama and the cringe that comes with being a teenager and i love the setting and i love that everyone is so flawed and human and real.

• alice oseman's work. i actually dont know much about her as a person and author but i also shat on heartstopper when it became mainstream because the tv show annoyed me. i tried it, but the first episode left me feeling uncomfortable and icked so i quit and have been hating on it since without even giving the graphic novels a glance. i read the synopsis of her novel solitaire and a review compared it to catcher in the rye and i thought that was so fucking stupid. catcher in the rye, really? the creator of HEARTSTOPPER, making something that can even be of the same tone as catcher in the rye? bah, impossible. when i picked up i was born for this, i thought itd be a shitty and fluffy fan/celebrity book but i was just so desperate for trans rep. and then i pulled an all nighter to read it and i realized it was GOOD and had a lot of layers that impressed me. i had underestimated alice oseman's writing skills by SO much and i dont like thar i was so cynical. i started reading solitaire and man. it is dark. and evidently inspired by catcher in the rye. i am not done with it yet but from what i read so far.... holden, you have some competition.

solitaire is told from the pov of the sister of one of the heartstopper voice. through this book i learned that actually the heartstopper boy has a LOT of serious issues. i wonder if the graphic novels handle it better than the tv show. i hope they do! if they dont, then , well, i can say with confidence that i enjoy her books even if heartstopper isnt my thing.

ok i think thats all. if you read all that, post picture of an animal. i dont know. like and subscribe! i am growing as a person and i think thats beautiful. whatever. rolls my eyes and walks away

[catty-words]

#one gets all snarly and angry when i think about how her friends were right to be wary of the idea of devi dating someone#who consistently said very mean things about her and how we never interrogated that shift in d/b's relationship#or did anything interesting with it#ANYWAY

thats interesting! im kinda surprised by your tags bc i thought the meanness and give-it-as-good-as-u-got was part of the appeal for benvi shippers but yeah i do agree it wouldve been cool to explore that! how do u think the show shouldve handled it? if u had any ideas for it, that is. would love to hear ur thoughts!

since i'm over a month late answering this ask, a link to the post in question.

so. the give-as-good-as-you-get aspect of the relationship does very much appeal to me but, while the fact that they're jerks to each other puts them on a level, it doesn't negate the effect of their words. they're still legitimately very mean to each other in a way that shapes the other's insecurities because they love to poke specifically at the things they know the other doesn't like about themselves (i feel like the 1.02 mustache exchange is perfectly indicative of this for the way it exploits devi's failure to adhere to western beauty standards at the same time it exploits ben's inability to live up to his own expectations of masculinity).

i don't have a full story arc in mind for how they could have done this better, really, except to repeat complaints about season two that i've already voiced. if they hadn't made devi's feelings for ben quite so swoony or romanticized and if they hadn't written ben as if he was morally in the right literally all season, there would have naturally been some tension around their changing dynamic. they would have been snippier, probably, with devi refusing to accept ben punishing her/icing her out and ben more insistently calling out devi's numerous flaws as he perceives them instead of sulking off in the corner all wounded and tragic. but it wouldn't be exactly like season one because devi would have first-hand evidence to push back against ben insisting she's undesirable and ben would be able to use the two-timing as the ultimate trump card against anything she could reasonably say.

basically, it should have been a season-long conversation around what they mean to each other now. not always an emotionally productive one, but something that felt more like growing pains than a flipped switch, than two almost entirely unrecognizable characters.

[hotluncheddie]

Favourite part about writing? Headcanon you love or one you really wanna use? Piece you're most proud of?

hello!!! ty for the anon!!!

i like having the stories as like something small to think about if i have time throughout the day. then if i have the evening free just sitting and imagining for a while, its nice to be creative like that, to try and turn all the pictures in my head into words

still wanna do a ‘steve’s known he was bi for a while and eddie didn’t clock him’ hc and have a little thing written but idk wether to expand it, so haven’t posted it yet. but after someone made a post about how steve would probably be the only one to have the means to go to indi or wherever and like experience the culture and therefore know more than being queer than eddie or robin, i can’t stop thinking about it! (sorry i don’t remember the original post/poster) also a sub eddie bc i truly hc them as switches and the soft dom steve harrington tag needs another little friend i think. (might go crazy do a little daddy kink who knows) :)

honestly i'm proud after i write anything tbh, i never thought i'd find writing as a creative outlet. or be part of a fandom where i actually share something, I've always just consumed stuff (and had a great time!). also im dyslexic so even with a 200w drabble i’m like very proud.

kinda soon i might post the first of two chapters of my priest!steve fic, pretty proud of that one i think so far. very different to anything else i’ve written and honestly dunno how it’s gonna be perceived bc it’s very au and kinda sad but i’m happy with it so far.

plus my little series i’m proud of bc it wasn’t really planned but i think they’re fun! (and maybe a little funny! (?)) just need at least one more to finish it off :^)

[bylerchoseme]

Baby, you are also assuming things that the actors have crushes on each other. You can keep shipping Byler, fanfics exist. But you cant just start shipping the actors instead bc it didn’t happen in S4. Im not trying to come for you at all just hear me out. Sounds like some kind of coping mechanism for Byler not actually happening bc i know that fictional ships and characters can be really important for some people, and when it doesn’t go how we want it we don’t wanna believe it, or jump to the next best thing. That’s a normal reaction, but isn’t quite the best solution. Noah and Finn have good chemistry I agree, but it’s also similar to how the rest of the cast are with each other. That video of Finn fixing Sadie’s hair, the one of Noah fixing Millie’s, how Caleb and Gaten interact with each other. Shipping the actors can be uncomfortable to them, you never know. And you may not be tagging them in posts on social media talking about them, but you are contributing to the ship. You don’t know how they feel about it. I hope you understand what I’m trying to get across, and I mean it in the best way possible.

I am assuming? Really? That’s all you have to say? I am not assuming. I observe what’s in front of me unlike a lot of people. Please don’t tell me I am shipping Finn and Noah when it’s far from the truth. Shipping is a whole different concept. You obviously don’t know the difference between perceiving and shipping. The fact you had to write an entire paragraph to defend why I am in the wrong and accusing me of shipping them tells me everything I need to know. If you thought I was in the wrong regarding Finn and Noah, you wouldn’t have messaged me defending your stance. People just want to see what they want to see. There have been many moments throughout the 7/8 years where Finn and Noah looked at each other in a non platonic way. That’s not how friends look at each other. They’ve been crushing for a while. Their looks aren’t platonic. There is crushing involved. People are getting worked up over the little things. Why so mad though? The dynamic between Finn and Noah is the opposite of everyone else. They’re not the same. Not even a little bit. I don’t know how they feel about it?Neither do you. I am not directly making them involved in any of this. Am I making posts on their Instagram and Twitter accounts? No. Am I personally messaging them? No. Am I tagging them anywhere? No. I notice things other people don’t notice. Plain and simple. That’s hard for you and others to grasp.

[many-gay-magpies]

THANK YOU FOR THE PLAYLISTS THEY ALL LOOK LIKE THEY SLAP INCREDIBLY HARD !!!!!!! I WILL STREAM THAT SHIT. also thank u for the bisexual lighting songs that is Also a fantastic list. i’ve seen your posts about synesthesia and i think the way you perceive the world is so damn cool !!! i don’t have actual synesthesia the way you do but sometimes voices really do have colors that suit them idk okay they just Do. but srsly though i love seeing you talk abt how you perceive sounds and colors it’s all so interesting!!

loona rly does have some Shit going on i sat down w my friend jack and i was like “okay can you explain at least some of this story” and he just went “okay so first off heejin is god-“ AND I WAS LIKE “WHAT???” i understand a good amount of it now but it’s rly so unhinged

i remember you reblogging gyehyeon gifsets in the very beginning !! he rly is so pretty. i may end up going the same way w e’last because choiin,,,, that man. Whew. he is . very very attractive .

i am also not entirely sure about noa?? i think i read something about him being able to control shadows/darkness and i think . it would be Very funny . if he just caused a power outage in decelis because he didn’t want to go to class that day. just boom it’s dark in all the classrooms suddenly. on a similar note, imagine an Actual power outage due to storms or something (i live in a beach town, we get outages from hurricanes frequently </3) and jino being used as a human flashlight bc he can literally light up the rooms. just fun little thoughts

- vrvr anon, who is very touched that you make all your followers feel welcome and represented even if you’re not part of that group itself <3

ehehehe ywc!! and also thank you im glad u think my rambly posts abt people and sound and colors r cool :> i like the way my mind sees things i think its pretty cool too!! its especially fun when im first getting into a group and my brain slowly starts assigning colors to the members like "okay ur gold and ur red and ur this very specific shade of purple and—"

"okay first off heejin is god" bro???? what a WILD fuckin sentence to hear first thing when being introduced to a group's lore wow. i mean i knew their lore was a LOT but i never bothered to look into exactly HOW it was a lot, i just knew that it WAS. but heejin god??? really??? good for her. its nice that u have a friend that was so willing to sit down and explain all that to u dhfjhfjf (altho to be fair id probably be the same with enha or vrvr lore lol) (kinda like your asks when you first explained the vrvr lore to me actually!!)

yea gye!! i honestly dont entirely remember the progression of how i got into vrvr, even tho it was only a couple weeks ago . like i think i mightve seen ONE gye gifset on my fyp or smth at first, then i decided to go into the gye tag to reblog more bc i thought he was pretty, then i remembered liking get away and O a lot so i figured "why not listen to their other tts?" and then came YOUR asks and now im . well. now im here HSJFBFJFB

NO SERIOUSLY WITH CHOIIN i think it went pretty similarly for me too ..... i didnt know e'last all that well but i thought he was pretty (its the expressions when he dances i swear--) and i liked their music and now im a full-blown stan with like three biases hgsjfhfjhdhf

i think ive heard abt noa maybe manipulating shadows somewhere too-- like a mutual told me abt it or something idk. that sounds like an absolutely badass and potentially terrifying power to have but also the idea of him just using it to cause power outages so he doesnt have to go to school is great-- AND YES FLASHLIGHT JINO. that is a brilliant idea with lots of potential for things being burned down by accident (like he sets the entire school library on fire or smth and shion is like "well at least we can SEE now" while hes just crying.)

<33333333

[straykats]

tw: body image ; brief sui imply (im okay!! just rambling) ; disordered eating but briefly ment at the end

[fagrackham]

I watched the jules special episode of euphoria and 1) still in love with hunter schafer 2) she’s so correct about everything and that whole thing about the ocean and trying not to center one’s transness around men...oh my god

[gjkennedy]

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