#i need to see them consume each other in a gay way

[stranger-fucking-danger]

just did my nightly deep-dive into the hivemind

kicking my feet and giggling

[emo-batboy]

Things Battinson Totally Did During His First Year of University

Using Unhinged or Odd Things I Also Did as a College Freshman :D

Note: for this list, let’s believe Bruce was living in an (admittedly expensive and swanky) dorm because it is required for first-years, especially those entering at a young age, and Alfred told him he needed to make friends. Also yes I did every single thing on this list. I never claimed to be a role model

Bruce, to his TA: I’m so sorry I’m late to class. I gave blood a few hours ago and almost fainted on the way here, but it won’t happen again.

Signs up for a class called “Age of Dinosaurs” despite it not being required whatsoever and proceeds to work his entire schedule around it

Bruce: Your mental health is super important. If you think you should see the on-campus therapist, go see them. Friend: Fine. I’ll sign up for therapy if you sign up for therapy too. Bruce: Hold on-

Finds a loophole in his housing contract that allows him to get a pet frog, calls him kermit :)

Gets a second frog because Kermit was lonely, names it Constantine after Muppets Most Wanted, then realizes that they’re gay for each other. Wonders if the rainbow-colored rocks he got them triggered anything

Swings dramatically between calling Alfred every single day and ghosting him for weeks, cries when he realizes what he did

“Accidentally” joins the student body council, doesn’t know what he’s doing, gets re-elected anyway

Molds a dragon out of Laffy Taffy instead of doing his work

Bruce: *joins Honors, gets all A’s, takes the max amount of classes, has several minors, overachieves* Also Bruce: I’m a failure.

Breaks into a building after hours to study because NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AT THE LIBRARY

Bruce: I will not get seasonal depression this year. Bruce: *gets real and seasonal depression that year*

Meticulously schedules his day with a color-coded planner because if he sits down for too long, the thoughts will consume him

Gives a presentation to his rhetoric class on how much he likes Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse (it is 20 minutes long)

Successfully allocates funding from the student body council to pay for free feminine products in the dorms OUT OF SPITE because someone said it couldn't be done. fuck you, Andrew

Bruce: It is not an all-nighter if I go to sleep before my first class. Friend: It is 7:30am, the sun is in the sky, and your first class is at 12:30. Bruce: But I am getting sleep.

Refuses to go anywhere without his backpack because what if he needs three notebooks at once

Loses over 20 pounds because ✨stress✨ and scares the shit out of Alfred when he comes home for Thanksgiving

Argues with his TA over the one (1) question he got wrong on his Dinosaur exam

Bruce, calling Alfred: Hello father figure. How do I do taxes? Do I have to do them myself? Also, I think I’m having a panic attack.

Joins in on a charity arts-and-crafts project that gives kids books with matching activities made by volunteers, proceeds to commandeer the project because “it’s not color-blind friendly” and rewrites the instructions for everyone

Makes a murder wall

Goes to one (1) sports game and proceeds to leave in the first ten minutes because it’s way too loud wtf is wrong with people

Professor, addressing the lecture hall: I dare you to write an essay about these two sentences. Bruce: *writes an essay about six words, gets a 100, never even read the book*

Crawls into the ceiling for some alone time

Ghosts someone after a date because he’s too scared to tell them he didn’t know it was a date in the first place and now he feels bad

Classmate: How tf does he walk across campus that fast? I go in the same direction he does on my bike, and he’s always ahead of me. Bruce: *is gay sprinting to Dinosaur class*

Refuses to let others use his Favorite Pen TM

Constantly gets mistaken for a Grad Student because he is “so wise and mature” (bestie, that’s the autism)

Alfred: *casually mentions he got into a car accident through text* Bruce: *replies with a meme while hyperventilating because he doesn’t know what to do with that information??!*

Wears a suit to one of his finals

Regularly eats non-organic food for the first time in his life, proceeds to learn about several allergies Alfred forgot to mention he has

Writes “What is a Hot Pocket?” in calligraphy and proceeds to laugh his ass off alone in his dorm because he is so exhausted he’s reached the point of delusion

Locks himself out of his dorm right before class, frantically asks the floor group chat if someone can help, proceeds to tell the nice gay man on the floor who saved him “I love you” because his social skills have hit rock bottom

Makes a little music album display next to his desk for his favorite band (Nirvana) His friends call it a shrine, and they are technically correct

Has a blacklist of people he refuses to interact with because Reasons

Counselor: What do you want to do when you graduate? Bruce: *gestures vaguely*

Refuses to take the bus because there are people in there and he doesn’t like those

Loses one of his frogs, how tf did he do that, they’re fully aquatic, oh fuck, this is probably why they got rid of that loophole a year later because unbeknownst to Bruce, he accidentally started a frog revolution in the dorms, btw he SWEARS he did not mean to do that

Has two trash cans in his room: one for the Good Garbage, and one for the Bad Garbage. Only Bruce knows which is which

Bruce: *writes a creative piece about a ship’s final thoughts as it sinks, bringing its passengers down with it* TA: Absolutely lovely, Bruce, but are you okay?

Goes on Night Walks, keeps himself safe by maintaining a level 12 resting bitch face at all times

Earns the nickname “8th floor cryptid” after pacing the halls at 3am when it’s too cold for Night Walks (honestly tho how tf didn’t he get the nickname earlier?)

Bruce: Do you think a depressed person could do this? Bruce: *has a manic episode*

Okay that's all love you BYE

[traumasurvivors]

Here's a link to a blog post on my personal website on a topic that I think is very important.

I've also put it below the read more for people that don't like external links.

When it comes to healing from trauma, there are a lot of emotions an individual may feel. One of these emotions is anger. Anger is one of the emotions I see invalidated the most. For example, I’ve been told that being angry is “letting the person who hurt me win.” I’ve been told that I’m only hurting myself with my anger and that it’s holding me back from healing. All of these assumptions were wrong.

Anger is often viewed as a bad thing because it can drive a lot of unpleasant behaviours but it can be used for good. While anger can hurt you and others, it doesn’t have to. There is a difference between destructive anger and constructive anger. Destructive anger is often expressed in a way that causes harm to yourself or others whereas constructive anger can be used to better understand your situation and figure out your needs. Constructive anger can be a way to show respect for yourself.

For example, if you’re in a situation with a friend where they do something that makes you angry (for example: cancelling plans, forgetting an important date, etc), constructive anger may involve you stepping away from the situation to figure out the cause of your anger (for example: you feel their actions imply you’re not important to them) so that you can then sit down with your friend and communicate in a calm manner. This may allow your relationship to grow and build with a better understanding of each other. Destructive anger in this situation may involve you yelling at your friend and insulting them, which will likely damage or destroy the relationship. If the hurt your friend has caused makes you want to re-evaluate your friendship, this is valid and there are still constructive ways to end a friendship that will cause the least amount of hurt for all involved. It is also important to note that ignoring the anger and bottling up is likely to cause a bigger blow up down the line or cause “overreactions” to other circumstances.

If anger is bottled up, it can end up coming out unintentionally. You might find you’re getting much angrier at everyday annoyances and disagreements than you might think reasonable. People might push you away or respond badly to your anger, because they feel they do not deserve it - and looking back later, you might feel they don’t deserve it, either. However, because of the anger you’re holding back, you can’t see that in the moment. This is why it is important to think and consider your anger, and listen to what it’s trying to tell you. I have found asking questions of myself to analyze my anger can help, such as in an anger inventory like this one.

While many people see anger as an emotion that causes people to lash out and destroy things, anger can also help to motivate people to create new things. Marches to “Take back the night”, or for “gay pride” have much of their motivation based in anger at injustice and oppression. New laws to better protect survivors of domestic abuse or otherwise help society are often driven by people feeling a huge amount of anger. Properly harnessed, anger can help to take action to change things for the better.

On a more personal level, anger can also be a motivator to improve one’s own life. Many people have used the anger they felt at those who put them down as a motivation toward success. That success might be completing schooling, winning an international athletic competition or publishing a novel. One thing all of those have in common is that they are rarely possible to do with only a little time or a little effort. They are time-consuming tasks which usually require months if not years of work. They can be easy to give up on without motivation - and for many, anger is a big help to keeping that motivation.

It took me years to feel anger. For the first while, I felt ashamed, guilty and like I deserved the abuse I’d endured. Feeling angry at the people responsible for this was a step in my healing. I began putting the blame on those responsible and not myself. I was realizing that I did not deserve to be treated in the harmful ways that I was. This was huge to me as someone that had spent years thinking I deserved my trauma and as a result, future trauma and abuse as well.

There were instances where my anger was destructive, mostly to myself. I engaged in self-harm as a way to vent my anger and it also caused problems in my relationship at the time because I held my anger in and would get really frustrated and project my anger onto my relationship which was not fair to my partner.

Over the years, I’ve learned to cope with my anger more efficiently. What works for someone is largely dependent on them and their needs. For me, it was a literal punching bag to vent out frustrations and journaling. It was sitting down with my anger and treating it like a friend trying to protect me (because it was in a way). It was listening to it and finding the cause. My true anger came from those who hurt me, and in a way, took a part of me. My anger largely came from grief and betrayal. Understanding where it came from did not make it disappear, but it did offer me perspective and allow me to better manage it.

For some, anger is a cover up for other emotions. It becomes a defense mechanism against feeling the sadness, hurt and other emotions that a person does not want to feel. The anger is just the first layer and understanding where that anger comes from, and that the anger is a cover up is a great step in moving beyond it. Feeling the emotions beneath it will play a big part in moving beyond the anger.

Anger is a valid and understandable emotion when it comes to healing from trauma, even if your trauma does not have a specific person to blame (natural disasters and death of a loved one are examples). If the person who hurt you did not mean to or did not know better (like another child), anger is still a valid emotion. You’ve been hurt and you should not have been and it is reasonable to feel angry at this.

For a lot of us, anger plays a part in our healing. And that’s okay! You’re allowed to feel angry. Anger becomes an issue when you allow it to consume you and hurt you or others. The feeling itself is not inherently bad, and it can actually be a good thing. Your anger can be used to help you. It’s what you do with your anger that decides whether it’s helpful to you or not. When I was first told that my anger was “letting the other person win,” I believed that and felt invalidated. I have since realized that my anger has been an important part in understanding my pain and my needs. My anger is not letting someone else win, but letting me win, by helping me to heal.

[absolutebl]

Began Beginning - Myanmar's first BL 

Not So Quick Pitch (or is it a pitch?)

Cause I got a lot of thoughts

8 eps 25 min ea YouTube

Began Beginning feels very much like a first timers BL. Which it pretty much is. There’s a lot of explaining and info dumping and information that we really don’t need about the characters (or the family) especially in the first couple of episodes.

Here's your hlepful breakdown:

Mani = main boy workaholic, probably gay, acts ace 

Hlyan = cute flirty bestie, smoker, closeted gay (for good reason) in love with Mani (becomes main character about 3/4 way through) 

Walar = openly gay visitor recovering from a breakup who enters their codependent dynamic and things happen as a result

Thae = Mani & Hlyan’s other bestie, trans 

I was tempted to say this reminded me of early Vietnamese BL, but in actuality what it reminded me of most was the stuff we got from way back in the early 2000's out of Hong Kong, or more recently from the Philippines (I'm thinking about something like The Boy Foretold by the Stars).

There is a grungy sticky authenticity to these works, of which Began Beginning is now a part. They have their own tarnished charm. For all their hiccups in storytelling and absurdities, there is an almost documentary feel to them, partly as a result of the inferior quality of production and filming (which is entirely economic). But that itself also somehow adds to the appeal.

This kind of BL is entirely the opposite of something out of Korea or GMMTV. And if you like that BL best, you aren't gonna like this product. But as much as KBL wins top ranks from me pretty consistently these days, sometimes I enjoy this kind of BL too.

The range itself keeps the genre vibrant and healthy.

So what is Began Beginning about?

Childhood best friends must come to terms with their own identities and true feelings for each other when a new boy comes to town, putting them into conflict with their families and ultimately, each other.

For the first half of this show there’s a lot of sitting across from each other and talking about life choices over yummy food and then going to tourist spots (mildly boring and not particularly important to the plot). 

It changed tone about 2/3 in to be way more of a coming out family drama about forced marriages and homophobia.

And then at the very end it changed again, becoming a full on soap opera with kidnapping, crazy characterization shifts, and rescue missions.

All in all? It was a wild raw creature to consume as a binge. No kisses since this is Myanmar, but a very romantic end, so I think maybe actually worth your time? I'm certainly glad I watched it.

Recommended with lots of reservations but great respect. I’m going with a 7/10.

There is a particularly important part at the end when Hlyan talks about asking Thae to dress him as a girl to see if he was third gender because he had these feels for another boy. And how unpleasant that made him feel. I thought it was hugely impactful as a window into the boxes same sex loves in modern society forces upon us. No matter what options our culture provides for us, if the boxes are limited we feel limited too. Also, drawing a distinction between gender identity and sexual identity. Lovely bit of storytelling.

(see comments, turns out this is not the first one)

(source)

[gatheringbones]

I’m going back to Angela Davis’s homophobic description of the dykes she met in jail that she wrote before coming out and I can’t get over how much I’ve seen the same basic framing before:

[“Since the majority of the prisoners seemed to be at least casually involved in the family structure, there had to be a great number of lesbians throughout the jail. Homosexuality is bound to occur on a relatively large scale in any place of sexually segregated confinement. I knew this before I was arrested. I was not prepared, however, for the shock of seeing it so thoroughly entrenched in jail life. There were the masculine and feminine role-playing women; the former, the butches, were called “he.” During the entire six weeks I spent on the seventh floor, I could not bring myself to refer to any woman with a masculine pronoun, although some of them, if they hadn’t been wearing the mandatory dresses, would never have been taken for women. Many of them—both the butches and the femmes—had obviously decided to take up homosexuality during their jail terms in order to make that time a little more exciting, in order to forget the squalor and degradation around them. When they returned to the streets, they would rejoin their men and quickly forget their jail husbands and wives. An important part of the family system was the marriages. Some of them were extremely elaborate—with invitations, a formal ceremony, and some third person acting as the “minister.” The “bride” would prepare for the occasion as if for a real wedding. With all the marriages, the seeking of trysting places, the scheming that went on by one woman to catch another, the conflicts and jealousies—with all this—homosexuality emerged as one of the centers around which life in the House of Detention revolved. Certainly, it was a way to counteract some of the pain of jail life; but objectively, it served to perpetuate all the bad things about the House of Detention. “The Gay Life” was all-consuming; it prevented many of the women from developing their personal dissatisfaction with the conditions around them into a political dissatisfaction, because the homosexual fantasy life provided an easy and attractive channel for escape for many.”]

so many different things to pull out. That butches and femmes are victims who lean on each other in times of crisis and forget about each other as soon as their circumstances are improved, her real horror at the mismatch of genitals and body arrangements on display around her, how frustrated she is by the people she needs to become self-sacrificing communist heroes sinking into distraction instead, her sympathy for those who use skin contact and social relations and healing sex to cope with the overwhelming violence of jail life warring with her disgust for escapism and wasted time, the posing of gay life as an all consuming false identity that takes the place of a real personality, her awareness of how much she was able to accomplish as far as challenging the administration in her short time there compared with what she thinks the other prisoners SHOULD have been able to push for if they weren’t so distracted by sex and family instead.

she recanted all of it later of course, her foreword is full of disappointment at how little she understood when she was that age, but the fact that she did think and feel that is timeless.

[melonsharks]

Tell us everything about the parent trap au immediately please please please

to give u an insanely quick rundown with a wip art i have:

aziraphale as elizabeth. wedding dress designer under his pen name A.Z. Fell. (hes an artist as confirmed in s2 and the whole "drawing on napkins" thing elizabeth would do appeals to me immensely)

crowley as nick. owns a vineyard. I NEED HIM TO OWN A VINEYARD SO BAD. shoutout to Old Vines on ao3 for changing me in a fundamental way. he makes wines and he tends to the vines and he is so passionate about it to an abusurdist degree. he yells at his vines when they arent growing right. you already knowwww.

when they meet for the first time, they don’t meet on a boat like in the movie, they actually meet at a wedding party :J crowley was a wine collector, just starting out. he loved offering aziraphale samplings of his most vintage collection out of impulse. (he likes seeing the way aziraphale savors them) (he’s besotted) Wants to own his own vineyard one day. aziraphale, on the other hand, has dreams of becoming a fashion designer of sorts, always drawing ideas on any scraps of paper he can find. his designs are very old fashioned, but thats like… part of the appeal. his work very much reflects who he is, and the people who flock to it understand that.

they enter this kind of… whirlwind relationship, they get married, and then eventually adopt two golden haired blue eyed baby boys. twins. :J warlock and adam.

they break things off because aziraphale leaves... alluding to their recent breakup in season two, the reason he left was because "we both clearly had very different ideas on where our lives were going. so. i packed up and left." (parallel s2 divorce 😋 they don’t know how to talk to each other) (aziraphale throws a book at his head after this argument, like the hairdryer in the movie LOL. it was pride and prejudice. crowley still has it.)

aziraphale leaves with adam. warlock is left with crowley. crowley eventually leaves London because he finds he cant stand being anywhere near Aziraphale (hes just irresistible in that way), and he goes to California where he finally fulfills his dream of owning a vineyard. a nice one on Napa, Northern California.

Aziraphale’s wedding dresses become more and more well known, Adam grows well-adjusted. Same kid you know from the show and book, natural born leader, a good head on his shoulders. (Aziraphale has no idea why Adam is like that, but he is so proud)

Crowley’s vineyard (The Garden Of Eden) grows and grows… Warlock is spoiled rotten, but he does love actually working at the vineyard with Crowley to and he and Crowley have a really good relationship…

Eventually the kids go to a summer camp together in London (i dont know if they . do this in the UK, but suspend your disbelief if you will) Adam meets The Them there, then meets Warlock after a nutty fencing thing, they kind of hate each other at first and the rest is history :J

side characters UM. LOL. idk……. i mean i kind of know but not really? theres just so many possibilities that make the rounds in my head. chessy could be anathema OR nina (ive had people suggest eric too?) and martin could be newt OR maggie (ive also had people suggest muriel????) gestures vaguely.

as for meredith…….erm…………🤷‍♂️ ive had everything under the sun suggested to me and i still……have no idea. LOL. gabriel, lucifer, shaX, FURFUR, THE WIFE FROM THE NON-SPOILER SPOILERS. I DONT KNOW. IT ALL FEELS WRONG. its hard to come up with this role in particular when these gay bitches literally only have eyes for each other. always. forever. u know. i think lucy is like. the classic answer. but idfk.

ask me about . more things if u want. this is consuming my every thought.

anyways the cover im working on for. for something:

[andersonfilms]

# which wolf wins? a. anderson

# content warning — eighteen+, fem reader, mentions of murder, gun violence, physical violence, ellabs being traumatizing to each other, reader fighting for life, cursing, tw blood, ellie having murderous tendencies, angsty gays.

𐐪𐑂 ° ︴ 9.24.2023

There was blood everywhere, some of it dried on your forearms, splatters on your face. You knew there hadn’t been a moment like today, like this terrifying second, where you didn’t believe you would make it out. More and more bloodshed. There wasn’t anyone who was free from it. You knew there wasn’t much love to be had between them both, the blood thirst vengeance was more than enough proof of it. 

And you had got caught in the crossfire. 

All of it was about evening the score, making them feel each other’s pain. Rage consumed Abby, more than you wish it did but you couldn’t tell her to stop. She started this to get justice for her father. But now, with a knife to your throat, you didn’t regret it. Even if your undying devotion for her was to get you killed, you would do it all over again. 

It still didn’t make you any less terrified of what was to come. Helpless in Ellie’s hold as she taunted Abby with you. The gun pointed at Ellie’s head only made the blade further press into you, any more pressure and blood would be drawn. 

 “A-Abby, please.” You choked out, your eyes glossed over with tears threatening to spill. Maybe in a perfect world, you would be scared of death. Suspicious of what comes after, but not in this world you lived in. Just in the past few years, you wished death would find you. It would’ve been the greatest hand of mercy life had to offer. 

You were terrified for the woman in front of you. The person you loved more than life, and these days it didn’t seem like much, but she was heaven in a world surrounded by your own personal hell. Always seeming like there were never enough moments to hold onto. Trying to find more so you could continue on. Fight to see another day, for her. 

Then there’s a split second where you want Ellie to put you out of your misery. Maybe then you would know peace. True serendipity. The only time you ever felt glimpses of it was in Abby’s arms. When she’d come back from patrol, with you already in bed - she’d tuck you into her chest into the security of her. You didn’t feel like you needed to worry about what was to come next. She’d find a way to look out for you. 

To protect you. 

She’d lost so much, she couldn’t afford to lose you too. 

That’s when Abby knew the plea wasn’t for you. She looked in your  beautiful fucking eyes, and she knew who it was for. 

It was for her. 

You knew her better than her ego did, and right now it was bruised, battered even. Abby didn’t like anything being out of her control, and this felt like everything had gone wrong. Going over everything in her mind, correcting over the things she could have done differently. Was she so hellbent on rage she let Ellie get the opportunity to get her hands around you? 

“Let go of her.” Abby all but growled. 

The person she loved in the hands of the one who hated her the most and she wanted to blow out Ellie’s skull for it. 

“Why?” Ellie taunted, pure fury laced in her eyes. 

“She has nothing to do with this.” Abby’s voice breaks down in the process at the thought of losing you, but she pushes through. Trying not to let herself drown in the thought of you being murdered just like her father, especially not in front of Ellie. Never in front of Ellie fucking Williams.  

“If it’s just between us, then put the gun down.” Ellie commanded.  “Try anything, and I’ll fucking kill her. The only person who still believes there’s good in you. Wouldn’t that be a shame?” 

Abby couldn’t help but want to bark back, but your voice cast her right out of it. 

“Abs, I love you, okay? I’m with you. No matter what happens.” The turmoil fabricated her brain and poisoned her intentions, she had a clear shot. She could drop Ellie, but she knew it wasn’t worth losing you. Nothing would be worth losing you. 

“Drop it, Abby.” So, she does. Kicks the weapon away from them both in the opposite direction, not ready to risk your life for anyone, because deep down she knew you had this effect on her. Making her want to do the right thing even if she really didn’t fucking want to. 

She’d much rather put a bullet through Ellie for threatening you right in front of her. 

Ellie keeps her promise and lets you go and you all but fall in Abby’s arms. “This isn’t over, Williams.” Her tone is deadly, but anything else is erased as her sole focus is set on you. 

Before she exits she sees something she never thought she’d see. You're cradled in Abby’s arms, your body wracked with sobs as you shake. She soothes you with the sound of her silky voice, promising the both of you will get out of this mess. She kisses your forehead softly, before whispering something so quietly not even Ellie could make it out. 

Abby’s soft in the way she holds you. How she tries to calm you down. Carefully wiping away your tears, trying to focus on you and not the anger she feels. Abby thought it might’ve been hard but hearing your cries brings her into reality and you’re all that matters to her.

Ellie thinks Abby almost looks human.

She takes it as her cue to leave. As cruel as Ellie feels; she doesn’t have the heart to kill Abby in front of the woman she loves. Not when Abby had offered the same courtesy to Dina. All Ellie was doing was evening the score. 

That’s all it was. 

[fullyinconsequential]

Here’s a 3am Steddie rant I think every Steddie lover (and possibly hater) should hear. I have no goal to convert anyone—just to say that the ship did not actually “come from nothing.” Here’s why:

I don’t understand how there wasn’t Steddie foresight in the writer’s room.

So they play it up in season 3 like Steve just can’t get the girl and when he does she’s not the right girl and yada yada yada—cool beans. I love his character arc with Robin, their friendship, her queerness. I love their entire bathroom interaction.

Specifically: “It’s somebody that I didn’t even talk to in school. Maybe cuz Tommy H. would’ve made fun of me, or I wouldn’t be prom king…. First of all, she’s hilarious. So funny. I feel like this summer I have laughed harder than I have laughed in a really long time. And she’s smart—way smarter than me…. She’s honestly unlike anyone I’ve ever met before.”

Traits Robin Also Has that Eddie Shares:

Outcast

Band Kid

The Witty Banter

Eddie’s personality is VERY Robin. Not perfectly so, but maddeningly close.

Another point:

This is just the same person in different gender specific fonts, A.K.A. Steve’s “love interest” versus a guy who called him “big boy” completely unprompted and interrupted a tender moment between him and his “love interest” and complimented him for an entire scene while Steve wore his clothes.

So, really, one of them’s Steve’s love interest and the other is Nancy Wheeler /hj.

I write a lot, and as someone who both writes and consumes an abhorrent amount of media, whoever wrote this down, casted and costumed this way, and allowed for the interactions between Steve and Eddie to be as nuanced as they were (EX: the scene in which Eddie steps forward like he has more to say to Steve before he goes off and kills himself) had to have known what was going to happen. There is simply no way of not seeing it.

And if they didn’t want people shipping Steddie at the scale which they do, here’s what went wrong:

First: defaulting to Steve wanting his ex back is just plain shitty writing. It means you don’t know where to go with the character anymore, and since you’re certain he’s done all the growing he can do, he’s just gonna double back to the conflict he was in in the FIRST SEASON.

Are you serious right now, bro?

Steve’s arc as a character has been absolutely heartwarming to watch. If anything, he’d have been better off given the “I need to figure out how to be happy on my own” narrative. Throwing him back at Nancy is a cop out, a big one.

Second: Eddie. Throwing Eddie in the mix was absolutely a WILD decision, because he looks like Nancy, he banters like Robin, and GENDER IS NO LONGER A PLAUSIBLE REASON FOR AN AUDIENCE TO DENY CHEMISTRY, OR EXPLAIN IT AWAY. Not in the year of our lord 2023, no sir. Not unless you’re going to explicitly state in some way to an audience that these characters are DEFINITIVELY STRAIGHT. And with Eddie, they went as far off that course as possible.

The outcast stuff. The D&D stuff. The hatred of the system. The mysteriously living with his uncle and not his parents. THE HANKERCHIEF IN HIS BACK POCKET.

So essentially, this is what they did:

They took a beloved character, flubbed over his character arc because they weren’t sure what to do with it.

Then, they created a SECOND beloved character, made him likable, lovable, even, and relatable. Then they gave him half and half personality and looks of Steve’s last two love interests. Then they gave us scenes of them together where they showed chemistry, genuineness, and playfulness.

Then they EXPECTED that we as an audience had enough heteronormativity left as a society to say—oh, those two guys aren’t flirting with each other even a little bit because they’re two guys and obviously that doesn’t happen.

WHEN IN THE SAME SEASON WE WATCHED WILL AND ROBIN GO GAY PANIC AND DESPAIR LIKE?????

Pick a side pick a side, are your characters fucking gay or is your audience fucking blind?

Point being, I have some friends IRL who don’t really get this. They think Steve and Eddie hardly interacted enough for there to be romance at all, but I think it’s less about how much they interacted and more about the (unintentional) set up they were given by the writers.

Steve’s a truly beloved character and I don’t know on ST fan that wants to see him just end up back with Nancy Wheeler like his entire character arc was just to “get the girl” and “have six kids.” Which he already has by the way.

Anyway, that’s just my two cents. I’m not advocating for anyone to ship them, I’m just saying it’s honestly a perfectly logical conclusion to make, especially if you CARE about Steve as a character, you know? We want him to be with someone genuine, someone who challenges him to be better, to be different than he was. Nancy couldn’t handle doing that. Robin could, but they’re platonic af.

So why wouldn’t it be Eddie?

Rest in peace, by the way. You would’ve loved this text post.

[pink-wysteria]

I feel like I'm non stop posting about Riptide but it's consumed my mind body and soul rn so forgive me but also

out of the main dynamics in the show - chip and jay's siblings, chip and gillion's gay lovers, and the albatrio as a whole, I think the friendship between gillion and jay feels somehow like the purest form of friendship. they're not siblings, they're not romantic, they're just two people who love and trust each other wholeheartedly enough to know that they can lean on each other when they're at their lowest and have no expectations from the other apart from their unconditional support. like, I love the dynamics that each of the trio has with the other, but it's so heartening to see just a wonderful, encouraging friendship that's just a /friendship/, you know? like, there's no 'she's like a sister to me', there's no jokes about them getting together, they just are two incredible friends and I love that. I love that they don't feel the need to explicitly state that it's platonic because of course it is because people are allowed to be friends without having to quantify that they feel no romantic interest in each other.

we've watched them become best friends over the course of like a hundred episodes and so when gillion tells her he will fight for what she wants or when jay tells him that he is exactly who he needs to be, it just feels so much more rewarding because it's just so earned from their characters

idk man i just love all the characters on this show I don't know any other better way to express it T.T

[frasier-crane-style]

Watching White Collar, I'm in a two dimes situation with this and Stargate: Atlantis, where you actually watch a show with a huge slash fandom and find that the two guys aren't gay at all. I know slash fandom will read pretty much any relationship between two men as buttsex, but in this case, it seems so specific that Peter is the aloof big brother reluctantly giving guidance and Neil is the hyperactive kid brother reluctantly admitting he needs guidance that, I don't know, it kinda stuns me you could see that as sexual? They're closer to being father/son

Plus, Peter is not only married, but his wife Elizabeth is the third lead. She has good chemistry with Peter, they have a loving and respectful relationship--anytime going undercover requires that Peter feint interest in another woman, he's deeply mortified, even though Elizabeth is entirely understanding and trusting of him (to the point where she finds it funny more than anything else). She's not a rarely seen afterthought the way, say, Elliot Stabler's wife is.

This got me thinking about fandom OT3s. A lot of them are pretty simple. There's a love triangle? Well, what if all three of them got together? There, problem solved. The Bettie/Veronica/Archie thing. Self-indulgent, but it scratches an itch. I can respect it. Go write Bella Swan being double-teamed by both Team Edward and Team Jacob. What, we're saying this is where the fantasy gets unbelievable?

But there's a weirdly specific variant I wanna talk about. A and B are the two guys the fandom wants to slash together. C is A's female love interest. They're deeply committed to each other and C is too likeable for fandom to want to kick her to the curb. So, they just say that all three are in a relationship, despite B and C simply being good friends with little if any romantic/sexual interest in each other.

Exact same thing happened in Leverage fandom. Elliot and Hardison are da boys and fandom wants to slash them. Hardison and Parker have longstanding sexual tension that eventually becomes a relationship. Parker and Elliot are on good terms, but not really intimate with each other at all.

Nonetheless, fandom insists that the three of them are a love thing to the point where it's even 'acknowledged' by the show (in a wink-wink, plausible deniability sorta way where Elliot continues to date assorted women despite being in a 'relationship'). It's polygamy entirely driven by cope because slashers feel it's bad feminism to kick a girl out of the way of the yaoi sex they really want.

Sociologically, that's fascinating to me. It's like if men consumed a genre of porn where each movie included one male-on-male sex scene, despite that not arousing them at all, just for the sake of equality. Damn, bitch, you're really letting your fantasy life be colonized by Miss Manners?

[scribbling-dragon]

Xornoth threatening Jimmy but not for demon reasons for "Scott is gay for you and I need to make sure you can take care of him" for fic ideas?

wait- there's a brother!?

summary:

He laughs, even more nervous than before as the demon seems content to continue observing him, eyes flicking over Jimmy’s face as though studying him. “Really?” He asks, summoning the courage to speak those few words. That same courage shrivels and dies a few moments later as the demon looks him directly in the eyes, mouth ticking up at the corner a little more.

“Oh, yes. Certainly an interesting one, definitely interesting if you've managed to catch the attention of my dear brother, hm?”

(ao3 link)

(1,929 words)

He hums, flipping open another barrel lid, pushing it back until it’s leaning up against the wall. Not at all in the position to fall on his hand and trap it. Not that that’s ever happened before. That’s the kind of thing that would happen to an idiot that doesn't know how things work. And he knows how barrels work. Everyone knows how barrels work. Not knowing how a barrel works is something an idiot would say.

There’s hardly any slime left in the barrel, only a few dregs lying abandoned at the bottom. He lifts one of the buckets of fresh slime, balancing it on the very edge of the barrel before tipping it forward, watching as the slime slowly inches out of the bucket, slow as treacle. It doesn't taste like treacle, though, and is far too thick to be anything like treacle. Which he knows from second-hand experience as well, because eating slime is not something that the dignified and refined Codfather would be caught doing.

The first bucket only fills the barrel halfway, so he leans down, grabbing the second, hauling it up to balance it on the edge of the barrel.

He blinks, staring at the bucket. And the barrel. Only he can't see the barrel. He can only just make out the parts of the bucket closest to him, no matter how many times he blinks. It means that he’s just stood there, blinking rapidly like an idiot, trying desperately to regain his vision.

It was only early evening when he entered the storage building, and even if the sun had set faster than he expected it to this evening, there are still plenty of torches hanging from the walls of this room. He’d made sure to light several of them on his way in, but when he turns he cannot see any of them.

He cannot see anything.

He swallows, breath sticking in his throat a little, hand tightening around the handle of the bucket. He knows exactly what this is, this sudden sightlessness, the sudden and all-consuming darkness that has surrounded him so swiftly is something that has been carefully recounted at several meetings over the past few months, each emperor detailing every single encounter they've had with the demon.

He lets out a breathy little laugh, eyes darting about as though he could hope to see anything in this darkness.

“Looking for something?” There is a presence behind him, stood close enough to be felt, but not close enough to be touching. He jolts away anyway, hand releasing the bucket of slime, uncaring for the way it clatters across the floor. Uncaring for the way it is definitely going to be a pain to clear up later.

He’s got more than clearing up slime to worry about if the demon plans on killing him. He’s not strong enough to escape it on his own. The other emperors recounted how dangerous this demon is, and Jimmy would have thought their tales were just tall stories with lots and lots of embellishments if it wasn't for the similarities in accounts and fear present in each of them as they spoke of their experience with the demon.

He laughs, the sound wavering as he backs up a step. He locates the demon easily, spotting their glowing eyes, easily visible in the surrounding darkness that has swamped him. They glow a deep red, menacing, and very obviously getting closer.

He takes another step backwards, though his movements are more sluggish- take far more effort than normally required. Like he’s treading backwards though slime, through the thicker-than-treacle consistency, struggling to maintain his footing as he stumbles backwards, away from the demon.

Away from the advancing and probably murderous demon.

They don't seem to struggle with the air turning to treacle around them, stepping swiftly forward, the shadows almost seeming to part around them as they move forward, cutting a straight path towards him.

“I'm sure we can talk about this-” he cuts himself off with a squeak as the demon stops in front of him, staring up at the being that is now far taller than he first thought they were. They tower over him easily, leaning down with a leer on their face, sharp teeth revealed in a smirk as they look over his face.

“You certainly are an interesting one.” Their voice causes the air itself to vibrate around him. He can feel his chest trembling with the force of it, like there’s an incredibly loud sound right beside him, reverberating through everything. Yet the demon’s voice is uncharacteristically quiet, not at all the commanding shout that he had expected from the being.

He laughs, even more nervous than before as the demon seems content to continue observing him, eyes flicking over Jimmy’s face as though studying him. “Really?” He asks, summoning the courage to speak those few words. That same courage shrivels and dies a few moments later as the demon looks him directly in the eyes, mouth ticking up at the corner a little more.

“Oh, yes. Certainly an interesting one, definitely interesting if you've managed to catch the attention of my dear brother, hm?”

“Brother?” His voice squeaks embarrassingly, but he’s honestly proud of himself for not immediately turning tail as soon as the demon appeared. Standing his ground is far more than the other emperors ever did, and he’ll tell this story like that. He stood bravely before the demon before they disappeared, and he definitely did not die. That’ll certainly be something to share at the next meeting. “You have a brother?”

The demon looks almost shocked, for a moment, eyes widening briefly before returning to normal again. He blinks, their smirk plastered so firmly across their face that Jimmy’s almost convinced that he imagined that look of shock on their face.

“I suppose he hasn't told you,” their voice rumbles as they reach a hand forward, grasping at his chin, holding his face in position. He attempts to jerk backwards, to pull himself free from their grip; but it’s like iron has closed around his face, holding him firmly in place, unable to free himself from the demon’s grip until they wish to do so themselves. He only hopes his death will be a quick one. “Though that certainly is no surprise. He was always rather concerned with his image, yes?”

“What are you talking about?” If he’s going to die, he might as well die with all his questions answered. Questioning the already murderous demon isn't going to make them any more likely to kill him than they already are. His fate is already sealed, was sealed as soon as he stepped foot in this room probably. He might as well ask the few questions he can.

“My brother.” The demon frowns. “Who I believed to have interest in you, unless I've misread the situation entirely. Do codfolk not still compose a song for their loved ones?”

“I- what?”

“I must admit, it has been several years since I've observed the traditions of the oceanfolk, but I was friends with several codfolk in the past, and I saw several of them attempt to woo potential partners with a song. But perhaps the tradition has changed? It has certainly been a few centuries, long enough for such a change to have occurred.”

“No, I- it’s still the same, yeah.” His anxiety levels drop a little bit, lowering in favour of confusion taking over everything, squinting at the demon. Maybe this is all some horrible prank. It seems like something Gem and fWhip would conspire with Sausage to do- and Sausage is rather good at mimicking voices. And there could be several potions at work here. Modified potions worked on by both fWhip and Gem. But the glowing of the demon’s eyes is certainly not something Sausage could replicate. And neither is the sheer height of the demon something that Sausage could achieve.

One of the demon’s claws scrapes against his skin, and his stress levels skyrocket again, heart thudding against his ribcage a little more insistently.

“Then you are trying to court my brother. I do appreciate the traditional approach. And my mother would certainly enjoy the romantic aspects to your song.”

He can't help it. Can't help himself. “You have a mother?”

If he has ever been given a withering stare before, it pales in comparison to the one the demon shoots him now. The only one that has come close to making him feel as though he should simply curl up in a ball and await his death so effectively is Scott, and that was before they were on better terms-

Oh gods.

“You're Scott’s brother?” He doesn't shriek it- he doesn't. But it’s a close thing. The demon winces at the pitch of his voice at the same time he does.

“Good to know you have a brain rattling around in there somewhere.” The demon releases his face from their grip, and it very suddenly feels like he can breathe again. The relief almost makes him dizzy, and he has to blink to get rid of the vertigo. “Though I’d appreciate a little more vocal control from you.”

“Yeah, well, I’d appreciate you not terrorising the server at every opportunity.” He spits back. His brain catches up with him a moment later, and he almost kicks himself, watching as the demon’s eyes narrow.

“I’d hardly be a good opposition to Scott if I didn't terrorise everyone at every opportunity.” The demon cracks a grin. “And you've been positively delightful to tease, little Codfather. Did you know I can hear your heart?” They tip their head to the side, long ears (almost reminiscent of elf ears- and really someone should have put the dots together sooner) pricking forward. “Your bravado is impressive, certainly when your heart is at a speed on par with that of a terrified rabbit’s.”

“Hey!”

The demon sighs, disregarding him entirely. “Pity I shan’t be terrorising you much any longer. Though,” they look back at him, smirk gone. It is far more chilling than the near unhinged grin of before. “If you do choose to break my brother’s heart, and it is a rather fragile one mind you, I won't have any qualms with spreading your entrails from here to Rivendell.”

The image that summons is unpleasant enough to make Jimmy feel mildly sick, taking a hurried step backwards, relieved to find that he can once more. He pulls his arms up, crossing over his chest in a defensive position in case the demon decides to go with that plan anyway.

“Relax,” the demon waves a hand, turning away from him. Leaving their back open and exposed, an obvious sign that they do not see him as a threat. “You seem rather sweet, and I'm sure we’ll have a better chance for conversation at the upcoming festival.”

They disappear rather abruptly, all things considered. There one moment and gone the next, shadows evaporating with them.

The torch in the sconce nearest to him flickers merrily, dancing back and forth. Its light - and the light from several other torches - does the wonderful job of highlighting the spilled slime. It’s managed to creep over a sizeable area of floorboard, already beginning to sink through the cracks.

He barely manages to hold back a groan, realising how much of a pain this is going to be to clean up.

It would have been more of a mercy if the demon had killed him. At least then he wouldn't have to deal with this shit.

[devine-fem]

how did YOU get into jondami?

someone asked me… omg 🥺 this MIGHT be a little long so let me take it back.

a while ago, i got into dc because i realized all my friends were really into dc over marvel and id never cared for superheroes but id taken a sudden interest recently after hearing about comics on youtube and they knew i was big into shipping and i loved dark tragic stories and i have one friend that likes the same and they told me to play batman telltale. i had no idea what i was getting myself into… at the end of the fking second game i was a teary eyed MESS. i cried like 9 times dude, like thats the actual number (my friends made a cry counter that night to make fun of me) then from that point on the dc hyperfixation went and i just consumed any game or comic or youtube video i found.

then i was like god, comics are hard to read and i need a fresh restart and fresh characters, like id read batman and superman but where does a girl start… then i found out that their sons had a teamup and they were a duo and i was like, oh this is perfect because theyre like batman and superman, theyre young so theyre learning stuff as well and theyre a duo so i can focus on just them.

there was a collection of four moments of me reading their comics that made me a shipper…

1. a friend of mine was anwsering questions on instagram and put jondami fanart in the back and i was like… theyre a ship? but that was when i read super sons (2017)

2. the moment where damian (after refusing for so long to let him in the titans) he was the ONLY person to raise his hand. i started verbally cussing him out through my phone. ong this whole time you believed in him and seek and find in him for what? for you to act like you hate his presence? sounds gay, damian idk

3. dceased… i dont care what kind of comphet they threw my way THESE TWO WERE MARRIED AND IN LOVE. this was when i was like okay, ill wait to see their interactions as they grow up together and when theyre older ill ship them… but we all know what happened

4. this scene. i dont know why but the chemistry and bled out through this seen and them talking about their issues together really got me thinking about how in this world they only really got each other and no one else to truly confide in because of the pressure their fathers give them. damian eating food on the roof with his friend surrounded by his culture just feels so domestic to me

then i laid down in my lil bed and got to thinking about how they would legitimately make a great couple and then i was like man, if hes aged up ill just ignore and ship him with him in the time where he was still a kid. so then i thought about scenarios as to if jon dated damian instead of pink haired boy and i was like wow… the potential and then i couldnt stop myself…

i eventually needed somewhere to put all this energy because he quickly started taking over my thoughts really really bad lol. so i got tumblr

but thats me

[acheronist]

I am reading The Goldfinch. I'm where he just started hanging out at the furniture/antiques place regularly. It's written well, it's holding my inerest, but I don't yet see what all the fuss is about. So not as a criticism but in an effort to appreciate something I might be missing, why is it a book you love?

well.

donna tartt is one of my favorite authors anyways. I think she's a spectacular freak and her storytelling skills are exceptionally good and i've read as much of her work as i can possibly get my little hands on!

but for tgf specifically, the narrative being soooo so so centered on personal emphasis & meaning being bestowed upon specific artworks despite them being very unpersonal objects (after they get out of the artist's hands, that is,) in stark comparison to the way that art that can belong to/be seen/be consumed any random fucking person alive in the modern age has been the only existential buoy in my life for a very very very long time. in my lowest times, instead of killing myself i go stand in art museums and think about how much love and creativity is innate in humanity despite times of crisis and war and disease and all of the fucking agonies and everything going wrong and having no control over it. ha ha. it's always been a balm to me, to remember that there is goodness and love preserved in artwork, and that artwork is tougher and longer-lasting than you'd initially think, and that it's always there waiting for me to come back to it and see it in a different emotional state to find new meanings in it. this is the same as how theo thinks about the painting thru different times in his life!! going from needing it desperately as a connection to his mom, obsessively as a comfort, and then reviling it for being a representation of his life's biggest trauma and yet still tending to it and caring for it, to the heartache of losing it and the relief of retrieving it with the one person who genuinely loves him as an act of devotion and apology for a previous betrayal....all while navigating how systems in power are neglectful and uncaring and capitalistic. it's all just So Much To Me.....

and I know the middle chapters where theo just goes on and on about the intricacies of antique forgery aren't as fun and sexy as the vegas chapters with boris (underage drug abuse and gay sex WHEEEEEE) OR the actual criminal chapters at the end (mysterious borderline-noir criminal heist slash subtextual romcom), but they're soooo so poignant to me. because in my own little life, curating the art and music around me and finding beauty and importance and symbolism in these subtle things is a vital central axis that i need to have, much like i need a nice bed or a good meal or a glass of clean water. much of how i cope and navigate the world is very deeply focused around art & art analysis, and I think the only other book i've read that articulated that sort of feeling quite as eloquently would be john berger's way of seeing, which is an academic and analytical text. but i just love fiction so much, so to have tgf as the extremely emotional fiction option to go along w my nonfiction art thesis books that are tonally very prim and objective and well organized..... DELICIOUS. i love it. and i love a fictive narrative built upon tragedy. i love works that call back to each other in conversation, and stories that cannot exist without the foundation of Something Else Existing A Millennia Prior. i love comparing works and establishing what makes them similar or different but how they approach the same themes. and i love to see characters (THEO. boris. pippa. hobie. andy.) that i can identify with who struggle with similiar problems i have, because it makes it easier for me to get thru my own life. this isn't groundbreaking reasoning though, that's just how every human alive consumes art and content. of course we look for ourselves in fiction. of course we as individuals want to find things that we relate to.

and also in a purely self-indulgence way, I also looooooove it when media is unbearably long and i can get completely entranced and study it closely and always be able to find new details that throw the whole story into a completely new light, which I think tgf does very well because it's almost 900 pages LMAO. every time i reread it there's a new nuanced angle for me to think about actions and thoughts leading into consequences and i just eat that up every single time.......

but despite all of this i do recognize that tgf is not everyone's cup of tea. like it's genuinely one of the most meaningful texts in my heart but i completely understand how it can be long, and boring, and melodramatic, and a bit insane, and convoluted, and pompous, and not worth the time to get from cover to cover.

but it is worth the time. to me.

[mxmaneater]

How do you see Gortash as queer coded?

Oh, it would be my genuine delight to explain.

Alright, so I have several lines of reasoning, so I’ll start with the low-hanging fruit first.  

Gortash’s obsession with his appearance

Okay, so we all know about Gortash’s eccentricities when it comes to the way he looks.  He wears an ostentatious villain coat, bedecked with golden bits and bobs, matching pants, and a matching shirt (that he wears provocatively low and can’t seem to ever lace properly).  He also clearly styles his hair, which given its length, takes a non-significant amount of time each morning. 

Now.  Am I saying these things on their own make him queer?  No, of course not.  The assumption that gay men take more care with their appearance is a stereotype, though I would argue that there is a subset of people for which this is true.  However, stereotypes also form the context for which we interpret characters and situations, and that social context is very real (even in cases when a stereotype is not), which is why I don’t discount these details either.  

Additionally, when it comes to the Netherstone, Gortash could have easily stuck it in the middle of a suit of armor like Ketheric and called it a day.  But as a politician (and someone who likely doesn’t see a lot of combat), I get that a suit of armor wouldn’t be his first choice.  Nonetheless, the option he goes with (and presumably takes the time and effort to craft and construct himself) is the pair of gauntlets, which are essentially ornate jewelry.  Jewelry that’s functional and dangerous, yes - but also needlessly beautiful.  And he really only needed one of them, but - again - his attention to detail with appearances drove him to build a matching set to become part of his Signature Look. 

Cool.  So let’s move on to:

Gortash’s political career

Alright, so I like to view Faerun as a fairly equitable place in terms of gender distribution in positions of power (at least compared to reality).  From what I can find on forgotten realms sources, it seems like the Council of Four was composed of 2 men and 2 women (at least until Stelmane is murdered); therefore, I think it’s not a stretch to assume that power is pretty evenly divided.  Great - love that for Baldur’s Gate.  Which it was true out here as well.

Even still, that means that 50% of the high-ranking government officials and patriars that Gortash is charming and manipulating as part of his rise to power are men.  As a devout follower of the God of Tyranny, I find it hard to believe that he would just pass up on the opportunity to use sex as a form of manipulation with men, when we have canon evidence that he uses this tactic to gain power with women (hello Lady Jannath).  Why would he - someone who views ascending in power as a holy mission - suddenly be squeamish when it comes to seducing (both literally and metaphorically) the other 50% of his targets?  

Also, like I mentioned earlier, although Faerun may be a veritable gender utopia, the social contexts that influence us in reality don’t suddenly go away when we boot up bg3.  The writers of the game as well as the consumers - us - are very much bound by the social contexts within which we operate, meaning that certain character traits can be queer-coded for us, even if they wouldn’t necessarily look that way to someone who lives in the world of the game (if they suddenly became sentient and engaged in discourse).  

What does that mean?  Okay, so we live in a society that is highly patriarchal and run by men (read: politicians as well as all other highly influential positions of power).  Within these circles, men are forced into “compulsory relationships” with other men (because remember, women don’t hold the clout they desire, and therefore don’t matter) in order to exert and obtain power; relationships such as “male friendship, mentorship, admiring identification, bureaucratic subordination, and heterosexual rivalry” (Sedgwick, Epistemology of the Closet) characterize these spaces.  Now, as Sedgwick - one of the mainstays of queer literary theory - explains, men enter into these “male homosocial” relationships because they must if they wish to gain power and ascend the ranks; however, the very necessity of these close, male relationships (to the exclusion of, or in superiority to relationships with women) also puts men in the dangerous social position of making it easy to become too close with other men and therefore jeopardizing their access to the very power they sought.  This is the foundation of her argument about forces that keep men in the proverbial “closet.” 

Okay.  So back to Gortash.  Gortash is not driven by fear of stepping over that line - he seems utterly unbothered by professing his connections to whoever he views as influential, regardless of gender (see: default Durge, which I’ll get to later).  He is not scared of stepping beyond this larger, societal “closet” that most men get defensive about in order to protect their relative power.  Sure Faerun is less homophobic than our reality, but again, the coding of these characters doesn’t change drastically based on the in-game setting, because it is ultimately people in our reality who are interpreting and interacting with the game and its characters.  

Also, I make a distinction between Gortash being “queer-coded” and not “gay-coded”; if anything, examples from the game would have me characterize Gortash as bisexual - if he even conceives of sex as an identity factor and not just a means of gaining power over someone, which is a big assumption.  I definitely view him as someone who thinks more along the lines of the latter - and wouldn’t it benefit him, in that case, to be an equal-opportunity manipulator?

This is getting long, so I’ll jump to my final point: 

Gortash’s devotion to the Dark Urge

Whether you read the past relationship between Gortash and the Dark Urge as sexual/romantic or purely a business dealing, the fact remains that Durge is the one character Gortash views as his equal.  And yes, you can customize Durge’s appearance and gender, etc, but the default origin character is male, so a certain amount of “canon”, I believe, can assume at least the possibility of a male Durge.  Gortash - the Chosen of Bane, who loves nothing more than domineering over others - wants to willingly share his Empire with Durge, once he’s conquered the city; that is not a level of devotion that you could expect Gortash to hold for anyone but his “nearest and dearest.”  

And from the letters you can find, it’s apparent that Gortash specifically sought Durge out - tempting him with information about Bhaalist artifacts that had been “stolen” and displayed in a museum in order to form a connection.  This, combined with his desperation to regain Durge as a partner in Act 3 (to the point he’s weirdly forgiving of insult and refusal), offer queer subtext, if not text-text, confirming his particular interest in Durge as a person.  After all, he only “tolerates” Orin, who, despite her own eccentricities, is only trying to accomplish the will of Bhaal, just like Durge presumably was as well.  In fact, most of the characters dismiss Orin as just some “crazy bitch”, which I find hard to believe isn’t rooted, at least partially, in sexism - especially since people forgive Durge very easily for similar crimes.  (I could write my own dissertation about Orin, but I’ll save that for another time).  

In conclusion, there is enough queer-coding between Gortash’s appearance, habits, career, known manipulation tactics, and special relationship with the Dark Urge to at least make the case that he isn’t super straight.  Even without the letter in which he wrote his penpal Franc that he loved him for bringing “wet, slithering malice” into the world.

[sleepy-moron]

Super messy kingdom hearts feelings

Riku is genuinely one of my favorite characters in any piece of media full stop, and it’s really hard for most people to understand why I love him so much. To a lot of people who only really played kh 1 and 2, Riku is just a kind of generic rival character, and for a lot of fans of the whole series he’s one of the best characters in the franchise but nothing particularly special in the grand scheme of all media ever.

I think understanding that Riku is deeply in love with Sora is essential to understanding what makes Riku such a wonderful character. There is so much more to him as a character, but his primary motivation has always been deeply intertwined with his love for Sora, and that’s not something you can ignore.

Riku speaks to a very specific experience that most people probably have not had, but if you do relate to it he becomes so special and important. So I’ve got to get a bit personal here to properly articulate what I mean.

When I was younger, I was best friends with one of my neighbors. We had been friends for years and spent a lot of time with each other. Then, a new kid our age moved into the neighborhood, and my best friend was suddenly spending all their time with another person. I had a lot of very strong feelings about this, to the point I would feel physically sick from it all. I didn’t understand what I was feeling or why I felt it so strongly, I just knew it hurt and I hated it.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that I am very much not straight and had a massive crush on my best friend when all this was happening. I was jealous, sad, angry, guilty, and legitimately disgusted with myself and my friend. Our friendship was never really the same after that. On top of all this I was also dealing with undiagnosed mental illness as a kid, so I was basically just an emotional wreck pretending everything was normal for a few years.

I also watched my dad and brother play a lot of kingdom hearts as a young kid. I didn’t really understand the games but I was entranced by them despite this. Flash forward quite a few years to right before kh3 came out, and I decided to start watching people play through all the games so I could actually understand what the story was. I had by this point mostly finished having a sexuality crisis and was starting to deal with the unaddressed feelings I still kept locked up.

And then I got to see Riku in all his messy emotional gay coded glory, and it just resonated with me in a way I didn’t know I wanted or needed. Watching this kid feel all these messy and ugly things that he couldn’t really understand and lashing out because of it, to get to see him atone for his mistakes and begin the long journey to not only forgive himself but also accept himself and all the things he felt, it was just so emotionally significant for me. I had never really thought about what it would be like to see this part of my life reflected by a character, but once I had it I was just overwhelmed with how strongly I connected to the Mickey Mouse anime games.

I finally had the time to watch the 6 hour Riku is gay and why it matters video the other day, and it emotionally destroyed me all over again. I don’t think I’ll ever really stop being emotional about Riku, sometimes you just consume a piece of media at the right time and it just stays with you forever. That’s really why he’s so special to me, I happened to get to fully see his character at the right time for him to be so important to me in a way very few characters are.

[itspkuwu]

EEnE headcanons

Double D is only nice to Kevin sometimes because he doesn’t want him to beat up Eddy. Besides for that one time when Double D thought Eddy deserved it for making him think he had an illness. And because he knows that even Double D can get aggravated with Eddy, Kevin tries to encourage him to pick on the con man with friendly interactions. So it’s kinda sorta like gaslighting. But Double D still doesn’t trust him because he knows this. He cares about Eddy too much. Not to mention that pretty much everyone in the cul de sac is nice to Double D because Double D is nice to them. What goes around comes around. Sarah is a huge example of this, she literally has a crush on him.

Plus I feel like Double D did somewhat feel bad for Eddy getting a beating afterwards.

Stuffed Pig’s Head is only a meal Rolf’s people eats when a swine has been put down from old age. They say the inner strength and soul of the dead pig will give those who consume it power to continue on. So it’s considered a tribute to the cycle of life. (And it would explain why Rolf hasn’t eaten Wilfred lol)

Marie does May’s nails.

There’s a big red and purple scar under Double D’s hat. When he was extremely little, probably just a few weeks before reaching 2, his curiosity found him in the middle of a dodgeball game with much older kids who teased him for being bad at the game. Later on, Double D built a machine that would launch dodgeballs like rapid fire. He met those same kids and again and used his invention in the next game. Something went wrong, and he, along with the other kids there were sent to the hospital, leaving him with the scar. His parents were utterly ashamed of his actions. The young genius they were raising had turned out to be a monster. Thus, they thought it was better to move to Peach Creek to try and leave this tragic event in their lives behind. Poor Double D is constantly reminded of the guilt whenever his hat is removed. And his parents, now distant and somewhat afraid of their son, community with him through sticky notes.

And yes, his mother stopped rubbing his feet with oil after the incident.

Ed is neurodivergent autistic.

So is Jonny

Rolf’s mother use to comfort him a lot when he was little, hence why he tends to shout “MAMA!” whenever he’s afraid or in pain.

Jimmy is a demi boy

Kevin and Nazz were considered a thing, but “broke up” cause it just wasn’t working out. Later, Nazz realized she was more in to girls and Kevin thought he’d just be better off single. Plus he was in love with his bike anyway

Blue is a natural hair color

Kevin was Rolf’s first friend he made in the cul-de-sac and was the one who taught The Son of a Shepard (TM) how to play sports.

Nazz is a hippie

Sarah was taught to hate Ed by their parents

Wilfred, Victor, etc are Rolf’s emotional support animals for his ptsd towards the wolf incident he experienced as a kid.

In the actual incident, the “wolf man” tore the baby sheep’s head off with his teeth. Leaving poor Rolf traumatized.

And that’s also why Rolf keeps all the sheep in his “lair”, he wants to protect them.

There’s a program in Peach Creek where the elementary schoolers are allowed to visit the jr high, hence why Jimmy and Sarah are there sometimes despite their young ages.

Speaking of ages

Ed, Edd, n Eddy: 12-13 

Sarah: 7-8 

Jimmy: 6-7 

Jonny 2x4: 11-12 

Nazz: 13-14

Kevin: 13-14 

Rolf: 14-15

May: 11-12

Marie: 12-13

Lee: 13-14

Eddy’s Brother: 23

Plank: Immortal God

Yes, Plank is alive. Magic powers.

If Edt3 is to be canon, which to me it absolutely is, then I wouldn’t have their relationship with each other be any other way, besides for maybe a little less violence. That’s why I like the ship, nothing needs to change to see the goodness and love they show towards each other. It already feels canon.

Eddy and Double D are bi while Ed is full on gay.

that’s all I have for now. Thanks for reading :)

go hug a chicken