#i need to start organizing to make next year easier

[barley-st-band]

hey does anyone know how we’re supposed to survive it all. asking for a friend

[certifiedcodbabygirl]

Simon Riley crying and praying for the first time in years bc you're hospitalized

(self indulgent as fuck, based off of personal medical history bc it'll be more accurate)

You hadn't ate or drank for 5 days, unable to keep anything down. You thought it was the flu at first. Fevers, puking, extreme fatigue. It didn't seem like anything out of the norm. Except for when your fevers started casing full body convulsions that made you look possessed. Chills and cold sweat turned to groaning and crying, muscles all over cramping and clenching, breathing becoming difficult. You figured it was because you hadn't had the flu in years. How wrong you had been.

Once your puke turned green, which was later found out to be bile from your kidneys, Simon rushed you to the hospital. Unable to stand, he pulled a wheelchair from the entrance and pushed you everywhere. Within 2 hours, the nurses had you admitted and on IV meds. Pain meds, IV Tylenol, and bags of fluid were hooked up to you, rehydrating you being high priority. Your body is in shock, resting heartrate being 140. He sat by your side the entire time, holding your puke bag in one hand, and your hair back in the other. The doctors drew blood, running blood cultures, searching for a more accurate answer.

The night you were admitted, they informed you that your kidneys were so infected that one got injured. The bile that was thrown up was caused but how hard you were puking, pulling it up from your kidneys.

He stayed the night, sleeping in the rocking chair, right next to your bed. He woke up when your fevers came back, holding your hand and telling you how good you're doing, calling in a nurse. The morning that followed, he had to go back to the house to make a bag of your immediate needs, clothes, deodorant, hairbrush, and anything else he could think of. When he came back, a doctor and a couple med students came in with important news.

"We ran blood cultures to see if there was possible an infection in your blood due to your symptoms leaning towards that. They came back positive. We are going to give you antibiotics and run cultures every 12 hours to track if the antibiotics are working" The doctor says as gently as possible.

The room begins to feel like it's spinning. Sepsis has a 68% mortality rate, and knowing how deadly it is, it feels like you're already being buried. Simon looks to you with a confused look, not knowing exactly what that it, but knowing it isn't good.

"I have sepsis?" You ask in a quiet voice, throat constricting.

"Yes" The doctor says softly.

"Oh fuck I'm gonna die" you whisper under your breath, tears forming.

Simon looks to you, eyes widening. 'Not again'

"Wait, the hell is Sepsis?" He demands, but not sounding confident, more scared than anything.

The doctor explains it to him, how it when your blood is infected, how the infection can latch onto your other organs and slowly kill you from the inside out. Once it reaches your brain, it's too late. His grip on your hand tightens. The doctor tries to give hope, but she can only do so much without lying. She leaves to give you privacy.

It's silent, neither of you speaking out of shock. The only noise in the room is the quiet hum of the IV machine and Simon's shaky breathing. Your thumb softly glides back and forth over the back of his hands, trying to ground him.

"Si" you softly call.

It takes hour to get him to loosen up a little. It's only when you manage to keep down a popsicle that he feels like he can breath a little easier. Like maybe you'll be part of the 32% that pull through.

That sliver of hope is crushed that night, being woken up by his arm being slapped repeated by you in a panic. His eyes meet yours, concern instantly written on his face. Your hand is on your chest as short, sharp breaths are the only thing you can manage.

"I,, can't,, breath,," you whisper between breaths, unable to say a sentence in one go.

"Baby it's alright, jus' try to breath wit' me, hm?" he tries to demonstrate slow breathing, mistaking it for a panic attack.

"not a,, panic,, attack,, please,, nurse,," you try to tell him.

He nods in a panic, running out to the nurse station and explaining. They rush in and take your pulse-ox just to see your oxygen percentage is at 86% when it should be above 95%. They try to do the deep breathing again before Simon interrupts them.

"It's not a bloody panic attack, she literally can't breath. Get her oxygen or somethin' before she fuckin' suffocates!"

They put you on oxygen until they can get you an X-ray. The nurses try to chalk it up to a panic attack until in the morning they see you still can't breath. They give you an X-ray and when the results come back, they send the doctor in. She informs you that the nurses gave you too much IV fluid and that caused your organs to swell so much that they pushed up on your lungs, collapsing them by 3/4ths. 1/4th of your lungs are still open and they're going to take you off fluid, start you on exercises to open them back up, and keep you on oxygen.

That's the last straw for Simon. Once you fall asleep for a nap, he heads outside to the bench area and punches a wall. His knuckles split but he barely feels it, ringing in his ears drowning out the surrounding noise. With no one around, he sits on a bend, elbows on knees and face in his hands. His breath picks up as his throat tightens and tears threaten to rip out of him.

"Why would ya let this happen to 'er? Aren't you supposed to be lovin'?" He whispers into the wind, looking up at the sky, "That girl in't like me. She's the fuckin' sunshine in human form and she's on death's bloody doorstep."

Tears cloud his vision, unable to keep it in any longer. He blinks them away, falling onto his clenched fists. Years of praying, to a god he later grew to resent, for him to fix his family. A child kneeling at his bed, begging him to get his family out of his father's grasp. Once he got to his teenage years, his desperation became resentment and anger. His jaw began to clench when his drunken father would spew bible verses at him to condemn him. He realized God wouldn't save him, nor would he when Simon's family was ripped from him.

Yet here he was, back to that same god, desperate that maybe, just maybe, he'd have mercy on him this time. He believed himself a rotten man, even if it was subconscious, unworthy of the angel sent to him. His light, reparations for the mistreatment The Father had destined for him.

"You sent 'er to me, it's gotta be for a reason. You've never listened to my prayers before but just this fuckin' once, please don't ignore me." His voice breaks, openly sobbing with no sound, "You sent 'er to me and now I can't live without 'er. She's fuckin' everythin' to me. Don't take back your gift, please" The end of his sentence slips into a whisper.

He wipes his tears on his sleeve and sniffles hard, trying to erase the evidence of his vulnerability. He stands and walks to the door, looking back at the bench before turning back to the door and walking in. 'Amen'

[mnnuni]

Domestic

Sam Winchester x Reader

Summary: Dean's perspective of Sam and Reader's relationship; Sam and Reader are two cutie patooties Words: 1450 Warnings: none, very fluffy Author's note: I actually don't know if I love this or I hate it

A solid faithful relationship into the hunters' field was almost rare: if they were married they were either consummed for loss or full of affairs and if they had boyfriends or girlfriends they will fight for the distance or the different visions of life. And then there was the rarity, the true love cases, the one in which they would share their life of hunters as easily as a piece of bread.

Dean Winchester never really believed in those rareness, never really believed in love in general... that was untill he really saw Sam and (Y/N) together.

Their love started slowly, it was one of that things that people would say "we already knew" when they eventually announced their relationship.

Dean was convinced that Sam's heart decided from the very beginning of their story that he would beat out of his ribcage only for her in his entire life; Dean saw it in the way Sam didn't just pass (Y/N) the milk and sugar for her coffee for her second cup of that day on their first case together, but he put them in her mug while she read out loud some articles for Dean. Sam didn't put much thougth in that action, but when she realized (Y/N) blushed because he remebred the exact order and amount of products she used after only one time.

But Dean also knew that he approved of their relationship when it was him that proposed to Sam to pick the impala and take (Y/N) somewhere special, just because she deserved all the effort his brother could put in a date and even more. Sam wasn't so surprised about that because he also saw how Dean had grown fond of (Y/N), to the point she was the only girl ever that didn't receive the "hurt my brother and I will end you" speech but it was the other way around.

When (Y/N) confined in Dean one night he really wasn't expecting what she was telling him, after more than an year of being officially with Sam.

"I know he loves me" that was her premise, and Dean could have screamed "WE ALL KNOW" but he let her keep going "but sometimes i whish things were easier" at this the Whinchester quirked an eyebrow and Y/N started rumbling then "I'm not saying it isn't easy with Sam, I just want to say that ... there's never a period of peace in our kind of lifes and we all accepted this when we decided to be hunters, but sometimes I find myself of dreaming one night together without running from something or cleaning up eachother scars... I need normality"

Dean knew that this was also Sam's dream, his little brother wanted this since Stanford, but he also knew that both of them needed to hunt because that was what gave them the hope to make the world a better place and the adrenaline that every man and every woman would need to go throu life.

After this conversation with (Y/N), Dean almost ran to Sam to order him to organize something special for his lady; he wasn't surprised to find him already writing a list of things he wanted to do with her, "I know I didn't give her the right amount of attention these past weeks, shoul I go for a picnic or romantic restaurant?". Dean tried not to smile at his answer, even if he really admired how Sam could know how his girlfriend felt withouth even say anithing and his commitment to their relationship; "The picnic is cute, but not for this time of the year. No reastaurant. She needs something calm, be domestic dude"

He left him like this to think of something, he was sure his brother would have find the right thing.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day Sam was adjusting one of the bunker's biggest room, he bought a projector and a too big amount of movies -even if he thought that he could never do too much for (Y/N)-

He asked Dean to help him put her favorite couch in there and order a lot of her favourite snacks.

Dean was really proud of how Sam behaved with (Y/N) and for (Y/N), never saw him so whipped for no-one.

When (Y/N) got out of her shower, she was ready to jump into Sam's bed and sleep for two days if she could; instead she found Dean in the kitchen with a blindfold in his hands, "I promise, you will lovee what you'll see after this" he winked and then put it on her face.

"I swear to God Dean, if you're tricking me..." they were walking a pat she never did in the bunker "oh please you love me too" "if you think so...", Dean stopped her in front of a purple metal door and took the blindfold off "oh i know so" he whispered and then proceeded to walk away from there.

(Y/N) was left to wonder what the hell was going on when Sam opened said door and smiled "Hi", it had the same emotion he carried during their first date, (Y/N) smiled too and got on her tiptoes to give him a light kiss. He grabbed her hand and walked her into the room, she would have cried if she realized sooner everything there was in that room.

"You did all this for me?!"

It was clear in her voice that she was emotional in that moment and Sam hated the fact that she underestimated her value for him, "baby, that's nothing. Perhaps I should have done something sooner when I first started to notice you needed some time alone" "thank you". Sam smiled and gave her a kiss.

When they finally settled onto the couch (Y/N) was analyzing every detail there was in Sam's preparation: he put three blankets on the couch 'cause he knew he was too tall to tall for them both be covered entirely just by one and also added few pillows because (Y/N) loved the fluffy feeling of them while watching a movie; he made a little table with every kind of chips the market sold and four bottles of her favorite soda, on the shelf under it there were two or three packages of cookies too. Sam also organised something like fifteen movies, all divided by genre and number of stars (Y/N) gave them when they first talked about it.

Sam chose the first movie of the night -obviously a musical- and settled next to his girlfriend. She was so fucking happy about all Sam had done for her.

(Y/N) put her head on his chest while Sam's arm was around her shoulders, drawing figures on her arms to make her relax some more.

Dean snuck in after the first two songs of the musical and rested with one shoulder leaned on the doorframe to look at them: they were adorable. At first when they were on their honeymoon phase Dean felt the need to puke every two seconds, but now he loved to look at them from afar and be happy of their happiness

(Y/N) lifted her head to look at Sam: he was so focused on the screen,the lights of the scenes illuminated his face in a way that made his eyes sparkle.

"I love you", she whispered and Sam's face turned instantly. She still blushed when Sam looked at her that way, "and I love you".

Dean didn't see the kiss because he closed the door immediately after his brother said those words, that was another of the things that made Dean root for them: they never said "I love you too", like they had to say it just because or to not be in an embarrassing situation; every time they proclaimed their love for eachother they made sure to let the other know how much they actually loved eachother and how they really believed in what they said with that "I love you".

Sam and (Y/N) watched another movie and a documentary, they finished almost all the chips and sodas. After about the half of the documentary (Y/N) fell asleep snuggled up to Sam, who was massaging her head -he already knew that after one cookie she was about to pass out, so he made sure to get her in the most comfortable position and help with his hands in her hair to allow the sleep to finally set-

Dean never got back in that room, because he knew that they would have fallen asleep eventually. He made himself a burger and drank one too many beers, but it didn't matter because that night Dean too slept so well knowing that his brother and his sister were okay.

[nanowrimo]

Tips for Writing When Struggling With Executive Dysfunction

Executive dysfunction can make writing challenging. NaNo participant, August, has some tips on dealing with task initiation and how to keep writing so you can reach your writing goals. Embarking on a writing project is quite the undertaking. After years of sticking to short pieces, I decided to start working on my first novel last NaNoWriMo. However, it felt like I was fighting with my own mind to get things done.

Executive dysfunction is a term used to describe weaknesses in the cognitive process that organizes thoughts and activities, prioritizes tasks, manages time efficiently, and makes decisions. It’s common in certain disorders, such as Depression, ADHD, and autism. Executive function skills are used to establish structures and strategies and to determine the actions required to move a project forward. So for those of us who struggle with executive dysfunction, dedicating ourselves to a project could get quite overwhelming. Here are some little tips and tricks I’ve compiled throughout my experience.

How to start:

Task initiation is one of the biggest struggles when dealing with executive dysfunction. This is especially hard with writing, since you need time to muster the energy needed to jump into your story. Here are some tips:

1. Start a 1-3 minute timer and force yourself to write something, anything, before it ends. The words that come out don’t matter. You can just write, “I don’t know.” The point is to force yourself into the writing zone.

2. Leave bread crumbs for yourself at the end of each writing session to make picking up where you left off easier. For example, stop in the middle of a sentence or thought, so the next time you write you won’t have to tackle something completely new.  You just have to finish that incomplete thought and continue from there. You could also leave some notes about what happens next, cutting down thinking time in your next session.

3. Try free writing. This is a great way to get those creative juices flowing with minimal effort. Free writing alleviates the pressure of writing something good. Spend a few minutes writing about anything, like your day or a frustrated ramble about your story. It’s like a warm up before your writing session.

How to keep going:

So you’ve started your writing session. How do you keep writing? Most importantly, how do you keep working on your project?  When struggling with executive dysfunction, the regular “set a schedule” approach doesn’t tend to work.

1. Scale down your goal if your big, overarching goal for your project is overwhelming. Try changing your goal to something more manageable and short term. For example, try writing 500 words a day. This might make it less likely for you to lose steam half way through.

2. Try writing sprints if daily goals aren’t working. Instead of hitting a certain word count, you’re setting a timer and writing for its entire duration

3. Don’t feel bad for needing external motivation. Will promising yourself a pizza after you hit your goal motivate you to write? By all means, do so. Maybe you just need a friend to ask you if you’ve written at the end of the day. Find out what motivates you.

4. Find a writing buddy. This can be someone who can sit down and write at the same time to hold you accountable. Or it can be a critique partner that expects you to turn in something by a certain deadline.

5. Try something new. This is one of the best ways to combat how constraining and overwhelming your writing might feel. It’s okay to lose interest in your project for awhile and try something new. Unless you’re racing to meet a deadline, you have no obligation to keep working on a project that isn’t working for you. Setting a project aside doesn’t mean giving up on it. You might only need some time away from it before you are able to finish it.

Trying something new could also mean changing where or how you write. Usually write at home? Try a coffee shop. Do you usually type? Try hand writing. It might or might not work for you. But change could be quite refreshing for your mind.

6. Write whenever you can.

Sometimes the urge to write comes while you’re waiting for lunch to heat up, or right before you go to bed. Motivation can be hard to find with executive dysfunction, and designated writing times don’t always work. Have something on hand you can easily pull out to write with to take advantage of these moments. Jotting down a hundred words as you’re waiting for dinner to cool might not seem like much, but it’s still words contributed to your word count.

Some of these tips might work for you. Some might not. Writing successfully is mostly about finding what works and running with it. These are things I found helpful when I embarked on my first novel and I hope it would at least give you some ideas.

Happy writing!

August is a 19 year old self proclaimed nerd and aspiring writer. They are currently taking a gap year after high school and are planning to start their undergraduate psychology degree soon. They have been writing short poetry for two years and recently started work on their first fantasy novel. When not writing, they are busy reading or being a musical theatre enthusiast. Check out some of their writing on Instagram. Photo by Miriam Alonso from Pexels

[cuteitgirlinspos]

౨ৎ How to romanticize this school year 🎀

I know school might be tiring , boring , or even scary , so here are some ways to romanticize this school year , next school year , and all the future school years to come

౨ৎ Stretch in the morning and drink water , usually when we wake up for school most of us don’t wanna get out of our bed and are extremely tired or drained out due to either waking up early or not getting enough sleep from last night 🎀 , so it is very important to stretch doing some poses you already know or watch videos on YouTube that are abt 5 - 10 mins depending on how much time u have , drinking water is also good for your skin and fastens your metabolism it will also hydrate you in the morning which can lessen how tired you were when you woke up . 🧚🏽‍♀️

౨ৎ sleep early , I know this might be very hard for some people because of the amount of things that they have to do , but you can limit the amount of time u take to do those things and take naps or sleep around 8 - 10 MAX , sleeping around these times are more healthy than sleeping around 12 pm or 3 am in the morning , your body needs the most rest it can get to keep it going 🎀

౨ৎ Please be yourself in school , many people tend to want to fit in and change themselves bc of what other people think , what their friend group says , or even how the internet influenced them to behave , you don’t have to change your behavior / personality just to fit in a group / area , real friends / loved ones will love you the way you are 💗🎀 .

౨ৎ Don’t disrespect teachers for no reason at all please 😭😭 , many teachers don’t get paid enough for dealing with kids all day long , make sure you’re being respectful to them and being nice / positive , one way you can do that is by simply greeting them good morning everyday or saying bye to them everyday .

౨ৎ PLEASE try on your grade , obsessing over your grade isn’t good either you don’t have to be sad / mad at yourself bc you didn’t get a 100% remember that everyone isn’t perfect , although you should try and bump your grades or try to be better at the subject you’re struggling with , when teachers notice you try your best in class they most likely bump your grade or try to give u extra credit even if you got a low grade . 🎀

౨ৎ Don’t start drama for no reason , trust me it’s not worth it ; you can get in trouble and that can be draining always try and be positive if someone else is being negative , rude , or annoying ; ignore them or don’t talk to them ; don’t try to engage with bad conversations with them to also get YOU in trouble , if you’re a good student and you barley get in trouble your teachers might let you go or not pay attention to it the first or 2nd time u get in trouble . 🤗

౨ৎ I can not stretch this enough , PLEASE organize your things , being organized can make school less stressful for you since you know where all your things are ! it’s much more easier than stressing when you need a notebook / paper / or an assignment and you can’t find it , an app that can help you be organized is notion ; using notion can track your to do’s like if you finished an assignment , need help with something , and be organized in general 🎀 .

౨ৎ Don’t be nasty , most people like me don’t like to hang around people who smell bad or do disgusting things , stick to a scent that smells good ; you don’t need a bunch of perfume sprayed all over you unless you have 2 or more perfumes mixed together that smells heavenly 😋 , PLEASE use deodorant and brush your teeth TWICE a day that way you can be clean and healthy , also take a shower everyday there’s no point of missing a shower be clean . 🎀

[otdiaftg]

WHAT'S NEXT:

The out pouring of love for this blog has swept me off my feet. I knew the logic behind the follower count, but this weekend proved to me without a shadow of a doubt just how much this fandom cherishes these characters and this story.

I am overwhelmed with adoration towards every. single. one. of you.

I took the weekend to finally recoup after the whirlwind of this past year but wanted to take a moment now to answer some of the questions I've seen pop up and to inform you all of what my plans are for what's next.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

WILL YOU CONTINUE THE ACCOUNT THIS YEAR?

This took me a long time to ponder and I wanted to make sure I was in the correct headspace to answer it. Short answer: No.

Long answer: All For The Game is near and dear to my heart. And the reason I began this account was because the dates for 2023 matched that of the dates they were meant to be in 2006. To continue it in the year 2024 would mean the dates would be completely wrong and a lot more logistics would have to occur beforehand.

But also-- I'm not the best when it comes to technology, especially when it comes to BOTS so every post that was published was typed out, formatted and scheduled by hand by me. I did not have help. I did not have proofreaders, or editors, or managers. I contacted all the artists myself, sorted through every single page of the artists to find matches to the story, read and re-read the books for exact or guesstimation of dates/times, and made a hell of a lot of typos on the way through all that.

There was probably an easier way that I could have done all this. But I didn't/don't know it. So that all boils down to: It’s a long and tiring process.

Don't get me wrong, it was worth all the hours. And all the sleepless nights I had getting everything done and out. I already thanked my support network, but without my wife and my best friend being there to make me another cup of coffee, walk our dog, do the chores and generally make sure I didn't crumble from the pressure -- none of this would have happened.

So, putting myself through that again, after everything that has happened this year alone-- felt like it would cheapen the experience I had when the dates won't even match.

That being said.... 2034 isn't that far away. >__>

WILL YOU BE DOING AN OTDITSC?

Short answer: No.... sorry.

Long answer: As stated, it is VERY hard to organize what and how I did. HOURS spent researching, organizing, scheduling, etc. Time spent away from my family and other hobbies. NOT time I regret (need to keep prefacing that) but time I want back now. At least for a little bit.

It also doesn't sit right for me to start an OTDITSC when I know some people are still waiting for their copies. There are so many of us out here (as I've come to find out) and I don't want to exclude people's enjoyment and connection that this account gives. I also feel like the more posts about TSC out there, the harder it is for those who are (lets say) waiting for the physical copies to block/mute spoilers. We can say a tag is enough, but this is the internet. And that's not always true.

And lastly, personally, TSC is still SO VERY NEW. It's not even complete yet and we don't 100% know when the next one will be published. I don't want to start something, get to the end of the timeline, and than have a huge gap between posts that will potentially be moments in the second book. It doesn't feel fair to their story, to myself, or to the followers of this account to have incorrect information for something I love so dearly. If I'm doing it. I want to do it right.

SO, WHAT'S NEXT?

Well. A lot. For me personally, as well as this account. I don't want to leave everyone in such a finite way. I love this fandom. I love its art and writings and the abundance of talent and joy that it exudes.

So first, for myself, as well as those artists who agreed to help with this account, I want to post, for the next 40 days Artist Highlights (that means this account will still be active until Friday, June 7th).

Every day, I will post about an Artist and the work that I wanted to post but couldn't fit in. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, these artists are the reason this account thrives. Art, in a multitude of forms, speaks in a way words can not. And these artists prove that.

I'm excited to show them off for a couple more weeks at least. They are all wonderful people.

AND, FINALLY:

To also tie us over, I am opening both my personal account as well as this account to questions.

Questions regarding the process, the story, the best movie out in theaters, whatever. I will be answering your questions (as fast as I can) until that last Artists Highlight day (Friday, June 7th). After this day, I will leave the questions answered up for a week, and then remove/delete them from this account. I want to make this more of an archive of sorts and will be updating the Timeline Page as this progresses as well, so you can move freely within the timeline.

Keep in mind that I am only one person, have a family and a full-time job-- so answers may be sporadic, but I will answer them.

This has truly been such a pleasure. And whether I get questions or not, I see you and I appreciate you. I hope your life is filled with everything you ever want, everything you need, and that you never let it go.

🦊 🧡- Kelysium

[pearlywritings]

The birth of the Dawn and the Dusk

synopsis: You planned your husband’s birthday months ago and even so something happens to not go according to the script.

pairing and characters: Diluc x fem!reader, your twin sons Rufus and Lucas, Alberich family (Kaeya, his wife and daughter Callie), Adelinde

tw: established relatioships, domestic moment, pregnancy stuff, fluff, a little bit hurt/comfort

word count: 10.8k+ words

author’s note: so late for my man’s birthday,,, But I am happy this one is finally out! Also there is a surprise at the end of the fic~ Hope you’ll enjoy everything!!!

Family AU masterlist

You feel so tired. Body aches and eyes hurt - you barely managed to fall asleep tonight, keeping your husband awake too to coax you into a state of slumber. This also added emotional stress, the clawing guilt for depriving him of sleep right before such a meaningful and happy day, but the man kept lovingly reassuring you that he didn't mind and would support and comfort you always, especially now, when you are so vulnerable, just days away from welcoming your baby into this world.

Diluc was nothing but a saint throughout both of your pregnancies. However, while the first one was challenging for him too, because he was worried about the new role he'd have to fulfill and if he'd do it successfully, this one was easier on his end, so he channeled all his energy to you, being there for every step and every time you got overwhelmed, which, at first, happened way too often. Your other two kids used to be all over you asking questions about their unborn sibling, and while you love your angels to death, you truly do, - your hormones and their vigor sometimes created a bad mix. Luckily, it quickly got better, because Diluc took his time to explain to your boys why their mommy might be emotional or look really really tired, and that she isn't upset with them and they need to be more careful around her. After that, the three of them became your anchor, with boys cuddling to you quietly to soothe and console you every opportunity they had, and Diluc arranging everything for your utmost comfort.

With all of this you were determined to make this year's celebration of his birthday as amazing as every other you two shared. You weren't sure if you would have given birth already or still heavily pregnant when the 30th of April came, but you knew that in any outcome you'd be too exhausted to arrange anything. That is why you started your meticulous planning half-way into your pregnancy. Everything was a secret from Diluc, just as always, and he oh so tenderly smiled, whenever you tried to hide the notes you were making, only teasing you by stepping closer and hugging you from behind. But he was a fair man, he never glanced at your scribbles and plans, only burying his face in your hair and asking to stay like this with you and the baby for a little bit. It actually helped you to concentrate a little bit better.

In March the final version of your plan was already passed to the maids who'd be responsible for organizing and decorating, and you couldn't help but feel pride when they giggled and excitedly murmured upon checking your instructions. You did a great job.

But you must've also done something bad, if whatever gods of fertility above made it their goal to mess with your sleep schedule - the baby is way too active, keeping you awake at an ungodly hour, just like tonight. So exhausting…

You can feel movements behind your back and a moment later a pleasant warmth is spreading all over your stomach and back. A soft whine escapes your lips, but it’s quickly shushed by a quiet murmur next to your ear.

“Shh… My flame, it’s okay, I got you…” You hug a pillow in front of you tighter, burying your face in it, letting your husband cuddle to your back, keeping his palm spread over your bump. He always knows when the baby gets cranky, sometimes even before you feel it, ready to calm down both of you with the help of his presence and vision.

Pretty soon you feel comfy again, surrounded by pillows and a literal heater of a man, who peppers soft kisses along your bare shoulder. His heavy bangs tickle your skin, prompting the corner of your lips to twitch in a shadow of a smile; an arm, wrapped around your middle, doesn’t put any weight on your waist, perfectly controlled by sheer strength of its owner; his whole body becomes support to your back instead of a long pillow he removed previously to take its place and he playfully nudges your feet when you attempt to tangle your legs with his.. Oh, you love this man.

Suddenly a loud noise from the outside worms its way into your lulled conscience, and you flinch. Slowly your eyelids slide open and you groan quietly, ears catching a dissatisfied huff from the male beside you.

“I told them to be careful…” Diluc grumbles under his breath, but doesn’t leave his spot next to you, only lifting his hand slightly and starting to rub your stomach in soothing circles.

“Mmm… What time is it?” Pushing the pillow away you rub at your eyes, yawning. Your husband cranes his neck to look at the wall behind and hums.

“A little past ten.”

“Ten..? Oh no…” With a pout you kick some other pillows (and accidentally his legs) too, stifling another yawn with your hand. “I was supposed to wake up earlier for your special day… I am sorry I slept for so long.”

“Nonsense,” he digs his elbow in a mattress and lifts his upper body to reach for your cheek, smothering it with pecks. “You are nine months pregnant, my love. I would’ve let you sleep all day long, if I didn’t know you worked hard to make today exceptional for me.”

“Oh…” You sigh, finally blinking the sleep, that was clinging to your eyelids, off and throw an arm behind you, rolling your back a little, practically placing yourself on your husband, stretching with a content noise. Diluc sees an opportunity to wrap both arms around you, and carefully draw you even more on top of himself, face hidden in the side of your neck.

“Archons, you are pretty,” the heat engulfs your heart, born from his adoring tone, and spreads in tender waves through your whole being.

“Don’t you dare say having me in your arms is enough of a present for you,” your chiding makes him smile and shake his head.

“As much as that’s true, I won’t, for your sake,” you squint like a cat under the sun, when he places a kiss under your jaw. “Are you ready to get out of bed? Half an hour ago when I came downstairs, and immediately got kicked out by Adelinde, I managed to catch a glimpse of Kaeya and our sons. I am sure Callie and her mom have joined them by now too.”

“Oh, that’s great!” You widely smile, sleep forgotten as if the need in it was always non-existent. “Yes, I want to start getting ready. Please, help me, ‘luc.”

“With greatest pleasure.”

Letting the Alberich family spend the night was one of your greatest decisions made in preparations for Diluc’s birthday. There is no way to guess when throughout the day you might feel light-headed or tired, so them being at the Winery from the very morning till the very evening increases the chances to get an opportunity when all of you can enjoy the celebration together. 

When you descend down the stairs, with Diluc practically glued to your sight, holding your arm to support, Kaeya’s face is the first one you spot among the others. He looks absolutely cozy with his pajama-like-looking pants, matching shirt and a knee-long robe, hanging on his shoulders untied. His face lights up with a smile, when his eye lands on you two, and he hands one of the maids nearby the box he’s been holding previously.

“Aren’t these our dear birthday boy and his lovely wife?” His voice is smooth, never lacking his ever-present teasing lilt, as he makes his way to you.

“Don’t make it look like you see me for the first time today,” Diluc grumbles, letting go of your hand, so you could give your brother-in-law a side hug.

“Oh? I am sorry, Diluc, but could I really tell Adelinde not to kick you out? My charms do not work on this amazing woman.”

“Because this woman raised you and is immune to said charms,” the woman in question appears behind the Cavalry Captain, with a sweet smile plastered on her face. “Come on, go help your wife - I don’t doubt she is skilled, but three kids are still a handful.”

“Haha, aren’t you subtle? If I didn’t know how much you adore me, I’d say you are kicking me out,” the star-shaped pupil twinkles with concealed merit, to which the head maid tenderly scoffs.

“Gotta make it even between the brothers,” she teases him back, and he gasps in pretense hurt, to which Diluc rolls his eyes, but a smug-looking smile doesn’t escape your sight.

“Sure, sure,” Kaeya jerks his chin up, still faking the offense, and turns around to leave. The woman shakes her head at his antics, short blond hair gently swaying, complimenting the fond look on her face. With one of her boys gone, she devotes her attention to the other, smiling apologetically.

“I am sorry for shoving you out the way I did, Master Diluc, but Lady Y/n really wanted to be here when you came to witness what she had planned for you. I hope you can forgive me for forbidding you from the first floor of your own house.”

“I can never be mad at you,” Diluc’s lips form a small smile as well, and he steps closer, gingerly embracing her. “After all, you raised me too.”

The older woman chuckles, patting his back, and your gaze softens. Every year you get lucky to see this display of special motherly affection, the one where you get sad a little, because your child grows older, further and further from the little boy you used to know and take care of, but you still are so happy for how far he managed to come. That’s what Adlinde’s face tells you every single year, those are the tears of joy that are brimming her summer-green eyes.

“Adelinde,” you softly call and she glances at you, with her arms still wrapped around her master’s, her kid’s broad back. “I haven’t had an opportunity to congratulate my husband yet, would you like to be the first this year?”

Vibrant eyes slightly widen, and then unspoken affection swirls in them.

“Thank you,” your heart skips a beat, crumbling under the sincerest gratitude the woman offers you for simply giving her such an opportunity.

She turns to Diluc again, and a small, delicate hand reaches up to brush away the fiery bangs that got even wilder as the man got older. A thumb runs over his cheekbone, feeling a small scar underneath, remembering, comparing to the pouty rosy cheek of a little boy, who used to cling to her skirt and seek her attention and advice, with that adorable sparkle in his warm ruby eyes and a wide grin with a tooth missing. Now a tall man is standing in front of her, who suffered many losses and hardships she couldn’t possibly protect him from, but who eventually found his happiness and found it in himself to fully enjoy it.

And that’s all she ever wished for him.

“Happy birthday, my boy,” her voice trembles with emotions, but she manages to get a hold of herself. The other hand comes to cup his other cheek and tilt his head down, so, standing on her toes, she could place a lingering kiss to his forehead. “Happy thirty eighth year of your life, my dawn. I am so proud of how far you’ve come and I wish for nothing more, but for your happiness to grow. I know your father would tell you the same.”

Oh, Archons. That last phrase made you emotional, hitting your poor heart even harder than the tender exchange between the two. And seeing the look on your husband’s face, the quiet hitch of his breath, the slight tremble of his lower lip and unspoken yearning in his flaming eyes, you have to silently excuse yourself from the scene, too scared to ruin the moment by your very possible waterworks. You’ll let the two have their moment, meanwhile you can see what your sons and brother-in-law’s family is up to.

You find the five of them in a separate room, which was long ago reconstructed and redecorated into something akin to a living room (additional wall was added to divide the hall part from this space to grant you and kids privacy if any partner of Diluc stopped by to discuss the matters with either him or Elzer). Both boys and the girl are sitting on the carpet-covered floor, vigorously discussing something - you even catch the pieces of the argument they’ve been having for months. Ever since the twins’ father agreed to consider getting them a dog, they and their older cousin could not shut up about what name the creature should have. At first it was cute, now it’s the reason for a headache, when the three of them cannot reach an agreement.

But the childish debate is quickly tuned out when you recognize the adorable new two-piece indoor outfits you purchased specifically for today. Your older son has the sleeves of his orange pullover rolled while he wildly gesticulates, the usual unruly mass of his untied hair swaying from side to side like a flame turned upside down. Lucas on the other hand has his cheek supported by his fist with an elbow digging in his knee, clad in yellow pants, and watches his brother and cousin with an 'I am so done with them' look, so uncommon for a six-year old, that it almost makes you snort. Callie, wearing similar in style pants and pullover, but sharing a pretty blue color with her father, is actively arguing with Rufus, however there is something different from the redhead's pure decisiveness. There are clearly some hints of Kaeya's mannerism, especially that quirk of her lips. What a cheeky twelve-year old.

“Y/n!”

Your attention is quickly drawn to the smiling woman, who is rising from the couch she’s been sharing with her husband just seconds ago. Mirroring her smile, you swiftly rub your eyes, getting rid of happy tears, caused by a scene at the bottom of the stairs.

“Are you okay?” Concern is laced in your friend’s tone, as she walks to you and puts her palms on your elbows in a comforting gesture. You only shake your head, making a small step closer, so you can give her a hug.

“Yeah, yeah, I am good, don’t worry. Just saw something very heart-warming.”

“Oh, alright,” she sighs in relief. “Are you hungry?"

Good question, actually. You concentrate on what your body feels and craves, softly rubbing your belly. No, still only the aching and ever-present fatigue.

"Not necessarily, but if you all haven't eaten yet, we can do it now. Diluc should soon join us, and after breakfast we can start our stay-inside party."

Your friend nods in agreement, squeezing your elbows affectionately, and then turns to look at the three kids still sitting on the floor, so engrossed in their conversation that they seem to not have even noticed you enter.

"Hey, kids,” only Lucas perks up at his aunt’s call, while Rufus and Callie keep arguing, ignoring everything around them. “Kids,” is said firmer, but still to no avail. As the younger twin gets up from the floor, you share a knowing look with the woman.

“Callie Alberich.”

“Rufus Ragnvindr.”

And as if by magic the conversation is cut short, two sets of worried eyes staring back at the unamused-looking moms.

“Good, we finally have your attention,” Mrs Alberich hums, taking your hand and leading you to the armchair, helping you to sit down. “Now, who’d be a dear and go to the kitchen to let the maids know they can serve breakfast?”

“I will, mom,” the girl says before Rufus can open his mouth and carefully pushes him and his brother in your direction. “You two, go say hi to your mama.”

Kaeya’s eye twinkles, when he easily guesses his daughter’s intentions, but keeps his mouth shut, watching his nephews practically sprint to their mom and climb onto the armrests.

“She went to congratulate uncle Diluc, didn’t she?” His wife quietly asks, taking a seat next to him, and the man only chuckles, wrapping an arm around her waist, bringing her even closer. Yeah, his girl really likes her uncle, adores even, which has been absolutely mutual from the moment the redhead was handed the small baby to hold for the first time. The Dawn Winery owner has always played an important role in the girl’s life, and before his sons were born, the man was absolutely wrapped around his niece’s finger. She doesn’t remember that, of course, but she does remember how she begged for cousins, and feels very proud of the fact, claiming that it’s because of her request uncle and aunt now have two cute boys, whom she really-really loves and enjoys spending time with, despite being twice as old as them.

But uncle is still her favorite out of the whole Ragnvindr family. So getting first to the man and wishing him a happy birthday is an absolute must.

“I am sure she won’t forget about breakfast,” Kaeya hums eventually, focusing on his sister-in-law and nephews, who, in their orange and yellow costumes paired with the color of their hair, remind him of two little candlelights.

“I love the cozy style you decided on for the clothes,” he comments, drawing your attention from twins, who settled against the sides of your stomach, resting their heads on your shoulders.

“Really?” An excited smile worms its way onto your face. “I am glad you think so! I thought they were perfect for spending the day inside."

"They are!" Mrs Alberich claps her hands together. "I adore this pretty dress and yours looks so wonderful too! The fabric is very soft, when I put it on this morning I thought I was hugged by a fluffy cloud. Oh, what color does Diluc have by the way?"

"Papa has gray" Rufus chimes, before reaching out to your stomach to gently pat it. "Mama, did you get the baby one too?"

"I did, Ru," you reassure him, remembering the cute white onesie you decided to purchase on a whim to match the vibe. "Soon she or he will be able to wear it."

"Speaking of the baby, you've never told us the name you picked. Is that a secret?"

"It really isn't,” your tone is soft, and your gaze is tender, as you look down at your belly. “We do have a small list, but our decision was to choose when the baby is born. We agree on every name on that list, and Diluc believes it's just going to click which one is perfect when we see them, just like it happened with these two," you turn your head from side to side, kissing each boy's cheek, making them squeal happily. In reality it was a little bit different. 

Obviously you didn't expect to have twins, so your list was created on the basis of eventually picking only one name. But when there appeared to be two babies, two little boys, everything had to be reconsidered. You and your husband (surprisingly more him than you) thought it'd be cute if there was something that would show their twinly bond. That's when it clicked quickly - Diluc came up with Rufus and you did so with Lucas, affectionately calling them Ru and Lu. This time you also considered different kinds of name combinations for possible outcomes, but ultimately decided to let the future tell.

"Okay, that's fair," Kaeya smiles, putting his cheek on top of his wife's head - the woman made herself comfortable on his shoulder, watching you and your sons with a sweet smile of her own. "Promise to invite us over when you feel strong enough to have visitors to meet another member of the Ragnvindr family?"

"Of course, I promise, Kae. And you'll be the first ones to kno- aaah!"

Everyone in the room jumps when a sharp cry of discomfort escapes you. Unwrapping your arms from around the twins, you lean forward and clutch your stomach. Surprised, the boys get down onto the floor and move right in front of you, worry evident on their faces. You mean to reach out to comfort your babies, to reassure him, but another surge of pain prevents you from doing so, and you groan, hands still on the stomach. Kaeya is next on his feet, closely followed by his wife, and just a second later the man scoops both redheads in his arms, while your female friend crouches before you, with both palms on your knees.

"Kaeya, boys - out. I'll handle it."

"But mama is hurt-," Lucas tries, not taking his eyes off of your curled figure, as his brother attempts to wrestle his way out of his uncle’s hold. Both look panicked, and the Cavalry Captain has to gently shush both of them, pressing their bodies even closer to his chest..

“Don’t worry, she is alright and she will be alright when we return, okay? Now, let’s go and find your father-”

“Oh.”

The man stumbles over his words, hearing a surprised noise, and immediately glances up at you, met with an expression of total disbelief.

“Archons, what is it? Y/n, please, don’t scare us like tha-”

“I think my water just broke.”

He barely holds himself back from cursing in front of his little nephews. His wife, on the other hand, is as cool as a cucumber, absolutely unphased, with not even an ounce of worry present on her face or in her actions. She rises from her crouched position and turns to look at her husband, who in a second became an anxious wreck, as if it is his beloved who is having contractions.

“Love,” she speaks calmly, “take the boys, find Callie and Diluc and get the kids ready to go out for a walk. Also ask someone to inform the midwife that Y/n has possibly gone into labor. And for the Seven’s sake, don’t dump this information onto your brother as if someone is dying, we don’t need a panicked dad right now.”

“Got it,” his legs start moving even before he thinks about it, and with two boys held in a death grip, Kaeya runs out of the room. He startles a couple of maids in the hall, along with Diluc, who’s just walked out of the kitchen, holding his niece’s hand. The hero of today’s occasion lifts his eyebrows, staring at the disheveled form of his brother, and an uneasy feeling starts rising in his chest when he notices the barely concealed panic in his periwinkle eye.

“Kaeya, what’s going on?”

“Okay, birthday boy, I need you to stay calm no matter what I tell you now, alright?"

"Are you sure you are the one to tell me to stay calm?" Red brows meet together in an alarmed manner. "What's gotten into you? Where are our wives?"

Another sharp cry, easily recognised as yours, is heard from the living room, and in a quieted hall everyone is finally becoming aware of something going on, something very unplanned.

"Um, so, as I said, stay calm, 'luc. However hard it is to believe, your wife might’ve gone into labor.”

“What!?”

Loud gasps of the maids fall almost deaf to Diluc’s ears when he hears the news. Immediately one of the girls chirps that she’ll go find the midwife and quickly scurries away, while two more run upstairs to go and check the room specifically prepared for such an occasion. Someone steps up and takes Callie, bringing her with Kaeya and twins somewhere else, but honestly, the redhead doesn’t notice it. The only thing his mind keeps repeating is that his wife needs him.

When he bursts into the living room you’ve already gotten onto your feet, one hand gripping Mrs Alberich’s shoulder and the other pressed to your stomach. The grimace on your face and heavy breathing is an evidence itself of your state, and Diluc appears at your side in a flash of gray and crimson, wrapping an arm around your back.

“My flame, keep breathing. Everything is alright,” his deep voice is comforting and you lean your forehead into his chest, whimpering.

You nod, letting go of your friend’s shoulder, and Diluc takes it as an opportunity to lift you in his arms - there is no way he’s making you walk, especially when the point of your destination is the second floor. You do not even complain, instead focusing on trying to relax the best you can, exercising proper breathing and counting.

“I am so sorry, ‘luc. I wanted this day to be special and now I am ruining it…”

“No, you are not,” he says firmly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Rather you are making it even more special. I know you worked hard, but I also know that all of it won’t go anywhere and we’ll have a moment to enjoy it properly afterwards. You are much more important right now, so let’s get you to the bedroom.”

Kaeya was right - it is hard to believe. Of course, it’s not clear yet, it still could be just false labor pains, but never in his entire life could Diluc imagine that one of his kids would be born on the same day he was. When he lays you down onto the bed with pristine white sheets and lets the midwife examine you, the heart in his chest is going absolutely crazy. He can’t bear to see that painful look on your face, how your pretty eyes squint and teeth are gritted, but he will rather fall dead in that same room, than leave it, leave you without his support. 

You lift your hand and reach for him. Someone pushes a chair closer and he sits down, grasping your sweating hand with both of his and suddenly a memory flashes before his eyes. It’s been twenty years and he thought he has healed, but the rainy day and a man’s big hand he was clasping in his own come back to haunt him. His mind starts screaming. What if something goes wrong? What if he loses someone dear to him again? What if it’s the last time he feels the warm touch of the person who brought him out of his misery? What if it’s the last time he hears your voice and the distressed tone of it is what he’ll remember you like? Please, no, whoever is listening, don’t do it, don’t take you and the baby away from him, please, don't-

“Diluc,” his eyes snap open and he becomes painfully aware that he is shaking. But it's not about him, despite what day it is today. Right now everything is about you. 

Inhaling deeply and sharply exhaling, he blinks away the images of the past and focuses on your face instead. It’s not twisted in pain now, instead you are smiling at him, the adoration in your eyes unmistakable and the squeeze you give his fingers is sobering.

“Did you hear that? It’s actually happening. My water actually broke. Our baby will be here soon. I can’t promise I won’t curse you back and forth like during the first time, but I’ll really try.”

At that moment, pushing the dread aside and leaning forward to press a sweet reassuring kiss to your lips, the man thinks that if it was legally allowed he’d marry you again.

It’s been a couple of hours since the Alberich couple left the Winery with all of the kids. It took Kaeya awhile to calm the boys down, while Callie remained uncharacteristically quiet, glancing at her mom from time to time, because her mother always knows what is going on, but this time, for some reason, isn't telling her.

Eventually both adults managed to persuade the three of them that they are on a mission to get some lovely flowers for Diluc and you - they made sure to pick different kinds that do not grow together for the process to take more time. Fortunately, it brought smiles back onto those cute little faces, and the couple let out a sigh of relief, watching their daughter and nephews, as the group went from one location to another. Lucas, being a dear he is, suggested that mom and dad deserved the biggest bouquets ever and Rufus doubled it, so now they are indeed on a mission to gather as many flowers as they can.

Making a pretty big circle, the five of them returned close to the Winery - but not quite. Settling near the Statue of the Seven, Kaeya stays to watch over the kids picking up windwheel asters and guard the bouquets they’ve already managed to create. The location allows him to oversee the vast grounds that belong to the Ragnvindr family, but also observe his wife’s figure getting smaller and smaller, but closer and closer to the main building. It was decided that soon everyone would get hungry, so she went to bring some food, but also to check on the situation at hand.

The sun hangs high in the sky and Kaeya squints in delight, letting the warm rays caress his face. Ah, what a wonderful day… With a puff of air he sits down and immediately lays his back on the soft ground, cracking his eye open. Not a cloud in sight, only the magnificent blue hues surrounding the brightest star, that’s the sight his brother deserves to have on his birthday - what a pity he can’t see it, stuck inside due to unplanned, though long-awaited, circumstances.

It is a perfect day for the twins’ sibling to be born, and for a brief moment a thought passes the Cavalry Captain’s mind - that maybe it’s the final step for Diluc to heal from all the pain and sorrow that whole 18th birthday situation caused him. Of course, it’s hard to tell, it was a seemingly endless nightmare after all, but he hopes for it, for this bundle of joy that is the redhead's third child to overshadow the loss of their father on this exact date.

Deep in his thoughts he doesn’t notice how Rufus comes closer, dividing equally the amount of flowers he’s gotten, putting one half in his dad’s pile and the other in mom’s one. Then he steps even closer, casting a small shadow across his uncle’s chest. Kaeya snaps out of it only when he feels a soft nudge, head turning and seeing that the boy carefully pushed the tips of his sandal against the lying man’s ribcage.

“What is it, Ru?” His voice sounds a bit lazy, but at least there is not even a hint of his initial panic - worry would only provoke the twins to feel concerned about the scene in the living room all over again, and he doesn't want that, their parents wouldn't want that. 

The little flame in front of him watches closely with wide eyes, which in combination with wild red hair makes him look like a fluffed up owlet.

Totally Diluc’s kid.

“We picked a lot of flowers… When are we coming home? I wanna see mama and papa. And also I’m hungry…”

“Yeah, dad, me too,” Callie pops behind her cousin, staring at Kaeya with bright eyes. She’s holding a mix of windwheel asters and sweet flowers, and the keen dark eye spots a small ladybug crawling up one of the stems. Equally small white lie wouldn't hurt.

“Your aunt is setting an additional surprise right now,” yeah, that’s literally the best explanation he can give them, “but this one takes time, and we need to be patient for her, okay?”

“But if it’s a surprise, why did Uncle Diluc stay? Doesn’t make sense,” His daughter is too sharp sometimes, but that’s why he is proud of her.

“This one requires his presence, so she doesn’t have to worry about messing up. I believe you’ll like it, so let’s give them time. As for the lunch - our precious Snowflake will soon bring us something to eat.”

“Don’t call mom that in front of me,” Callie grumbles, kicking his hip, and the man gasps, hand immediately flying to grab the assaulted place.

“But snowflakes are pretty!” Lucas, who appeared somewhen during the conversation, stares at the older girl in confusion. “They are very pretty and have unique forms… Your mom is pretty and unique too!”

“I know she is, but sometimes it’s just argh. Oh! Doesn’t your father call your mother ‘my flame’?”

“Yes, he does,” Rufus confirms with a nod, sitting down onto the ground. Kaeya turns onto his side, ignoring the dull pain and supports his cheek with a fist. Well, this is amusing~

“Don’t you find it a little too much sometimes?” Both twins shake their heads, red bangs bouncing with the motion, and the girl sighs in exasperation. “Wait till you are as old as I am, you’ll realize how cringe it is.”

“What’s ‘cringe’?”

Kaeya snorts. It’s funny when a twelve-year old speaks of her age with such intonation. It never ceases to amaze him how well his daughter adapted in the role of an older sibling to her cousins. She quickly realized her leading position and it was and still is very clear in her attitude, especially right now, as she is educating them on the meaning of the word 'cringe'. She cares for them a lot though, so he can hardly find a situation where she abused her power in the dynamic the three of them have. Besides, both Rufus and Lucas are far from stupid - probably ones of the brightest kids he’s ever had encounters with, and already have their opinions, so despite loving and admiring Callie they still can fight her back verbally. The only difference is that this is Rufus’ style of handling arguments with her, while Lucas prefers more tranquil approaches. Watching the three interact, Kaeya can't help but wonder what kind of personality would the baby develop.

Ah, it’s going to get so much livelier~

It’s another half an hour, during which he sneakily stole the spotlight from his girl and entertained the kids with made-up, but attention-grabbing stories. His wife's arrival catches them all by surprise - just like everything else about her, as she shouts their names and waves at them the best she can with a basket hanging off of her elbow. She is not alone though. With delight overtaking their expressions, kids spot the most loving and kind (obviously favorite) maid at her side holding the rest of the baskets Mrs Alberich couldn’t carry on her own. Kaeya hasn't even sat up yet, and the kids are already speeding in her direction.

“Addieeeee!”

Overjoyed, in an instant they are all over her and the woman gently laughs, settling down the baskets and staying in a crouched position to hug all of them. As she is telling them to help her with unfolding the blanket, Kaeya rises to his feet, right in time to put his arms loosely around his wife's waist to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth.

"Thanks for the food and bringing additional help," he murmurs, smooching her again and taking the baskets away. Freed arms encircle his neck and soft lips press against his in return, stealing the man's breath away.

"Don't mention it. Adelinde figured we might need her, and she is right, personally I am at my wit's end," she sighs, glancing behind to make sure the kids are occupied with the task the head maid gave them. "As for the news - everything is going smoothly so far, but it'll take some more hours. Other maids suggested visiting Springvale or maybe going to the City, and I agree."

"Yes, that sounds reasonable…" Kaeya hums, inwardly admitting that some remaining weight has just been lifted off of his shoulders. "You think we'll have to return in the morning or…?"

"No. Before we left, Adelinde checked in with Diluc - apparently he'll send his falcon to deliver a message once everything is over."

Ah, yes… the falcon his brother personally trained once again just a couple of years ago after the passing of his very first winged companion. And once again Kaeya was that one person the bird will always find, no matter where he is.

"Delightful. Then let us have our lunch. What you've got there, hm?"

"What was supposed to be put for the celebratory breakfast we all missed. It'd be such a pity if the food went to waste, wouldn't it?"

"True," the Cavalry Captain sighs and, adjusting his hold on the baskets, leads both of them to the rest of their little group. “What a chaotic morning…”

The drawn together heavy curtains do not let a ray of a settling sun into the quiet room. The crimson painting the sky is undoubtedly beautiful, mesmerizing even, but no one dares to disturb your rest with a blazing color. The smell of freshly cleaned bedding is appeasing, but the fluffed up pillows that have the scent of your husband clinging to them is your main source of comfort - you faintly remember it, but you are sure of nearly snarling at whoever suggested changing the linen for them too before bringing you to the master’s bedroom. Poor maid must’ve been so scared, you’ll have to apologize to her later…

The slight guilt sparked by the memory is what makes you pass the line between dream and consciousness. You force your heavy eyelids open, but immediately squint a little from the light of the candles on the walls. A soft groan escapes your throat and you drop your head to the side, hiding from the light and blinking to make the eyes adjust. Succeeding in it, you take a quick look around the room, wondering if you were left alone to repose, or someone remained to monitor your condition.

That’s when you spot him. Or rather the gorgeous mane of ruby hair, shiny in the candlelight, thrown in a proper high ponytail, streaming down his upper back. He’s changed his clothes too - there is a hazy recollection of someone telling him to go and do so, and what a nice view it is, to see the gray pajama pants and pullover to be replaced with dark cherry - almost blackish - shirt, carmine vest and dark pants. But that’s not the most pleasing sight. Your heart almost melts, when the standing man turns around and you see a bundle of blankets delicately held in his strong arms. Vibrant eyes show every single emotion Diluc feels, looking at your baby. There is pure joy, happiness, bliss, love, promises to protect, to care, to cherish, to make every single day of life important and special. It’s so similar to the scene of nearly seven years ago, but without your husband bawling his eyes out with both arms occupied by twins. Well, maybe he did, a little, when you were resting, but you’ll never know.

You observe them for a little longer, the picture so perfect, you regret not having a Kamera in your hands right now to imprint a moment in a photo. Though you doubt you’d have strength to lift the thing enough to snap one and not make it blurry, so, just watching would suffice for now.

However Diluc’s senses are sharp, and when someone stares at him for longer than a couple of seconds - he knows. The warmth of the tamed flames seeps right through the eye contact, penetrating every cell in your body with welcomed heat. That may be the trick of the light, but his dark pupils dilate upon looking at you, and the blush creeps to your cheeks. Damn this man and him giving you looks like you are the whole world.

“Hey, love,” you softly call, the sound blending into the tender atmosphere, becoming a part of it, becoming Diluc’s source of oxygen for a brief second.

“Hello, my flame,” his voice can hardly mask the adoration and eagerness, with which he takes his next actions, makes it clear how excited he was for you finally awakening. With light steps he moves to the bed and carefully bends down. The touch of his lips is gentle, yet the feeling hidden behind it steals your breath away and your own lips part. Diluc murmurs something about wanting to give you so many kisses to compensate for the hours you spent in labor, and you breathlessly laugh at his adorable confession.

“It’s alright, ‘luc. Besides you are such a beautiful sight for a sore eye, how can I complain when my husband is all dressed up for me?”

“Oh, my flame,” his tone is oh so silken. “You are the beautiful one here. You looked so serene in your sleep, and now you shine like the brightest star.”

“Oh, stop that, I am sure I look like hell.”

“Not at all,” he shakes his head, long and fluffy bangs barely swaying. “You are wonderful. But how are you feeling? Need anything? Maybe you’d like to rest a bit more? I’ll take care of everything for you.”

You know he will, and this is one of the reasons that make him a great husband and an amazing father.

“No, no, I am fine, I feel better. It’s finally over. Our son is here.”

Yes, your son is here. Are you surprised it’s a boy again? Not really, there always was a gut feeling your older sons would have a little brother as their sibling, and by the red hairs you spotted when the baby was passed to you for the first time there is now a solid confirmation that Ragnvindr genes are insane.

“I want to hold him. May I?”

Without answering your question directly, Diluc carefully places the baby on the free space on the bed and helps you to adjust the pillows and sit up. Then the boy is instantly in your arms and Diluc kicks his shoes off to climb next to you. The sides of your heads touch, and you smile when his big hand is placed under yours, to provide additional support.

Your son is sleeping. So tiny and wrapped in all those blankets he is so peaceful. You swallow harshly to fight the tears back and shakily sigh, rapidly blinking. Rough fingers move your hairs away from your face and lovingly caress your cheek, reminding you that everything is okay.

“You did so well, my love… You are incredible, you know that?”

A choked chuckle erupts from your mouth and you sniffle.

“I am, am I not? But it’s also a miracle that he decided to come out right on your birthday.”

The man presses the firmest kiss he’s given you this evening to your temple and wraps his free arm around your shoulders, bringing you even closer. The thumping of his heart is palpable and makes you want to cry again.

“You know…” lifting your head, you come face to face with your husband, and there is a smile playing on his lips, one that is both bright and a bit melancholic. “Now there is one more reason to look forward to my birthday. To celebrate mine with you all and to celebrate his like that too.”

“Oh, we can have two parties!” You beam, closing your eyes and picturing it in your head. “Yours would be obviously in the morning, and his would be in the evening- oh, Ru and Lu would be so delighted to have two cakes to eat instead of one,” you share a soft laugh. Which actually reminds you…

“Have you sent anyone to notify them they can come home? I feel so bad that they had to spend your birthday away from you…”

“Don’t worry, dear. The message has been delivered and they should soon be here. And there is always tomorrow to start with the party all over again. I believe it was a smart decision to get kids out of the house. You know how protective twins are around you - they would’ve worried themselves out of their minds.”

You have to admit that Diluc is right - no need for your boys and niece to hear you scream and curse whoever was present for hours, and you can trust the Alberich family to keep them safe and entertained.

“Well then, if everything else is settled, my heart and mind are at peace… But we still have one important thing to do. The name. And before we go down the list, may I suggest something, please?”

“You are the mother, you have the most say in it,” his words make you lift an eyebrow at him, yet he only smiles. Shaking your head you poke your nose into his cheek.

“What a gentleman you are…"

"That's what my dad told my mom," he says as if in his defense. "And I agree with him on that one - after all, it's you who carried him for nine months and kept him healthy."

"Alright, alright, I could speak of all the ways you provided for me so I could do that, but I know you won't accept this kind of praise. Okay, I will have a say in it," Diluc scoffs, but you only give him a teasing wink. "Speaking of your parents, remember how you told me that your mother chose the name ‘Diluc’, because you were born in the early hours of dawn?” He nods, fondness reflecting in his eyes. “She also did it, because your father’s name means ‘twilight’, ‘dusk’ and she wanted them to match, right?” He nods again, but this time it’s confusion and a bit of hurt that are hiding behind his crimson pools of fire. Still holding the baby, you do your best to interlace your fingers with his, still supporting your hand, and the redhead takes notice of it, helping you, until there is a nice hold on each other's digits.

Swallowing thickly you take a deep breath to calm your nerves. Diluc would never be mad at you, but what you are going to suggest next is pretty huge.

"It's not on the list, but I took interest in this one when we were researching. The main meaning of this name is 'Sun'. However, there were languages that gave it a slightly different meaning, let's say, time-specific? And now, since our son was born on the 30th of April and almost at sunset, I thought that this one might be perfect. It's… It's Cyrus. And it can have the meaning of 'dusk', 'twilight', just like your father's name does."

The clock on the wall is ticking and that's the only sound in the room. You can barely hear your hearts beating or air entering and leaving your lungs, but your mind is in a race against itself, and you start second-guessing that maybe giving him a big reminder about that day was a mistake. Diluc’s been healing, you know that, you’ve been here all these years to witness his progress and be proud of him, but it still must hurt. His silence is worrying, but despite your own nervousness you give him time to process, to let the thought sink in and register what exactly you are implying.

You spend a few minutes quietly. Your husband never loosens his hold on your shoulders, and it soothes you when his thumb starts rubbing over your knuckles absent-mindedly. His warm breath caresses your skin, lulling your alerted senses to the point of tranquility, and you sigh audibly, lowering your head on his shoulder. And then you finally hear him speak again.

“Cyrus… It’s a lovely name. I… I really like it. No, I love it.”

“Yeah?” A soft murmur of your question sends a wave of delight to the man’s swelling heart. “You do?”

“I do. I think it’s perfect. But…are you really sure you want to honor my father?”

“He meant a lot to you, ‘luc,” you straighten up and turn to have a better view of the redhead. There are unshed tears clinging to his thick lashes and he doesn’t even blink, looking down at your son. “Listen, my love,” carefully sliding one hand from beneath the baby’s body you bring it to Diluc’s cheek, making him face you, making him gulp and lean into your open palm, “I too think it’s perfect, and maybe, just maybe, the birth of our son today is your dad’s sign to move on. Master Crepus would want that for you, I am sure, and passing on a small fracture of him to this boy would close this chapter forever. What do you think?”

“I think that I love you so-so much…”

His lips are scorching, kissing yours with feverish urgency. Tears roll down his flushed cheeks, but you brush them away the best you can, not minding the salty taste of the kiss. Diluc Ragnvindr has his chest open for you, for your hands to hold his beating heart, for them to take care of it. This pure joy that sets his soul aflame is overpowering, all-consuming, and he is more than ready to let it swallow him whole, if only you keep loving him the way you’ve been all these many years.

When he parts from you, the redhead nearly chokes and starts coughing from all the sobs he held back. Your fingers are deft, threading through his thick locks, gently scratching his scalp, as his forehead is pressed to yours. You remind him to breathe.

“And I love you too, Diluc. I always will.”

”Thank you.”

You smile, peppering his face with kisses, whispering the sweetest words of affection. He wants to tell you something, he even opens his mouth, but a sudden knock on the door interrupts him. Your eyes dart to the heavy wood blocking the entrance to your bedroom.

“Master Diluc?” It’s hushed, but still audible. “We spotted young masters, Sir Kaeya’s family and Miss Adelinde from the window. They will be here soon, should we ask them to wait?”

Your husband clears his throat, coughing in his fist, and then glances at your figure to check if you look good enough to receive so many people at once. You simply mouth an “I am fine”. It seems enough to assure him.

“No, Hillie,” your husband speaks louder. “Y/n is awake, so once everyone arrives, please, bring them here. And make arrangements for dinner.”

“Yes, Master!” 

Diluc sighs when the hurried steps can no longer be heard and kisses you once more. The baby in your hold starts stirring and you return your free arm back around him, bringing the boy closer to your chest.

“Will you be fine, if I leave you alone with Cyrus for a moment?” Him already using the name reduces your heart to a puddle and you cannot fight the huge grin.

“We will, my love, don’t worry. Go wash your face, I’ll feed him in the meantime.”

With a nod he bends to kiss his son’s forehead and then peck you on the cheek, climbing out of the bed after that and disappearing in the bathroom.

Fortunately, you had a solid half an hour before your sons and guests returned. In that time you managed to feed Cyrus, lull him back to sleep and pass the boy to a much calmer and collected Diluc, who carefully placed him in a crib.

Upon your suggestion, the man steps out of the bedroom to meet everyone downstairs, and warn the kids about being quiet. Every maid he meets on the way beams at him with a smile, congratulating and asking if their Lady is alright and if she needs anything. Their eagerness to assist his wife with anything she might need and excitement they feel for the fact Ragnvindr family has just grown in number is heart-warming, and Diluc allows himself a small smile, as he answers them the best he can.

When he reaches the hall of the first floor it’s just on time to witness Adelinde closing the massive doors and locking them. Two balls of red immediately sprint to him and he barely has time to crouch and catch his elder sons. They start whining and pouting for missing the whole day with their dad and he kisses their round cheeks, promising to hold a proper celebration later.

“Hmph, you better!” Rufus scoffs, lightly punching his father’s shoulder. “But today is not over yet, right?”

Diluc nods, patting their heads affectionately, ruffling crimson locks. Then twins glance at each other and simultaneously inhale.

“Happy birthday, dad! We love you!”

“I love you too, fireflies,” he hums, straightening up and lifting both of them in his arms. “Thank you for your kind words, I appreciate them.”

“We brought you and mom bouquets! Callie helped too,” Lucas chirps, pointing to two big bunches of flowers in Kaeya’s and his wife’s arms. The redhead lifts his eyebrows, to which his brother only shrugs.

“This is wonderful, kids. I love them, and I know your mom would adore them too.”

“Oh, can we go see her?”

“Why isn’t she with you?”

“Dad said she was preparing a surprise, where is it?”

Bombarded with questions, flying from three directions, Diluc is reminded of why he came down here in the first place.

“Kids,” the seriousness in his voice stops the stream of interrogation. Three sets of eyes are glued to his face. “I am going to tell you something very important and I need you to listen, alright? Now we all are going to go to my and mom’s bedroom. There you’ll have to be quiet, okay? No screaming, no squealing, no arguments, no running around, got it? Your mother is very tired, and someone who’s also waiting for you there may start crying if you disturb him.”

Mrs Alberich gasps, widely smiling, and turns to her husband, whispering in his ear.

”It’s another boy!”

Children on the other hand look utterly confused, but they do know when the look on the Dawn Winery owner’s face shows he is not kidding. This sounds so mysterious, and while puzzled they are dying to know what’s going on. And without acting the way their dad/uncle asks they will not find out what it is.

“Okay, we understand. We will be quiet.”

“Thank you,” he bends down again to put his sons back onto the floor and glances behind at his staff. “Someone, take these flowers and put them in vases in the living room. Kids, go wash your hands.”

"Yes, Master Diluc!"

When the door to the bedroom opens, you wave to everyone with a soft smile, cozying among the many pillows again.

"Mama!" Twins exclaim in whispers, tiptoeing to the bed and climbing up to hug you. "We missed you so much… How are you? Why are you in bed?"

"Tired," you simply explain, smooching their cute little noses and hugging them as tightly as you could. Suddenly, Lucas's eyes fall to your stomach - or rather to where it was just hours ago.

"Mom… where is the baby?" He asks, patting around the blanket, and indeed discovering the belly's absence. Rufus lowers his gaze to confirm his brother's words and then looks at you and after that at Diluc, who's just quietly closed the door shut.

"Dad, what did you do to the baby?"

"Nothing."

"When where-?" 

He stops when you tap his shoulder and, once both boys' attention is yours again, point to the crib standing close to the side of the bed. Callie, who's been watching all along, has her interest picked, and steps to the little bed from the other side, as her cousins crawl across the mattress. With six hands grabbing at the wooden edges and six eyes glancing inside, the room falls quiet again for a few moments. Kaeya walks to you and gives you a hug, kissing your forehead and congratulating you with a new addition to the family.

"It's funny isn't it?" He murmurs. "Now you don't need to invite us another time to meet the newborn."

You laugh at that. As he moves away your co-sister-in-law is quick to take his place, embracing you and pecking your cheek, also congratulating you and teasing for once again being a boy’s mom. Diluc meanwhile has taken place by his niece’s side, gently smoothing her hair back, observing the kids’ reaction.

It’s Lucas who opens his mouth first.

“So… this is our sibling?”

“Yes, Lu. This is your little brother.”

“He sure is little,” Rufus drawls, “I’d even say tiny. Were we this tiny too?”

“You were,” Callie butts her way in a conversation. “I was your age when I saw you two for the first time. Though I couldn’t hold both of you in my arms, you were heavy. You are still heavy, hehe.”

“We are not-!”

“Shh,” Diluc presses a finger to his lips, and the kids slam their palms over their mouths. “Remember what I asked you about? No fighting, or he will wake up and start crying.”

“Sorry, dad…”

“Sorry, Uncle Diluc…”

You snort at the little exchange, watching your family fondly, thinking that you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Hey, brother,” Kaeya joins the other man and grabs his shoulder, squeezing in an affectionate gesture, “Congrats. Both with your and your son’s birthday.” 

Diluc nods, lifting his own hand, patting the one resting on his shoulder. 

“Oh, right!” The older twin’s eyes sparkle at the realization and he stares up at his dad. “Does it mean you share a birthday with him?”

“Yes, I do, Ru. Does it bother you?”

“Are you kidding me? Dad, that’s so cool! Me and Lucas always have each other for our birthday, he would have you for his!”

“Also it means two cakes,” the other six-year old murmurs under his breath, and Diluc nearly chuckles - you do know your boys too well. It also lifts a weight he wasn’t aware of off his chest - it seems like he was a bit worried, if twins would feel jealous of the fact their dad’s and sibling’s birthdays are on the same date. But since they are cool with it - he is more than cool too.

“Speaking of him,” Mrs Alberich manages to take a peek into a crib too, aw-ing at the fact it’s a red-haired baby again, “have you chosen a name already?”

“We did,” scarlet eyes stare right into your soul through yours, and you mirror Diluc’s proud smile. “His name is Cyrus. Cyrus Ragnvindr.”

“Cyrus, hmm…” Kaeya purses his lips in thought, as if examining the name in and out, like some kind of a linguist. “Diluc, Rufus, Lucas and Cyrus… Yeah, fits right in.”

“Not as well as Cherry №3 I bet,” Callie smirks at the twins, to which, keeping in mind the promise they gave their dad, they only stick their tongues at her.

“I told you the name was perfect,” your husband reminds you with a soft chuckle.

“Oh, wait!” The eye-patch wearer snaps his fingers without actually making a snapping sound. “DiLUc and LUcas, RUfus and CyRUs… You now have two Lu’s and two Ru’s!”

“Oh Archons, I didn’t realize that,” with wide eyes you stare back at him. “That’s so cute!”

“Can we call him Cy?” Lucas pulls away from the little bed, and sits back on the mattress properly.

“I think it is indeed a short form for his name,” you nod, feeling so relieved about how smoothly everything has been going. Yeah, surely the birthday party didn’t go as planned, but on the other hand you finally have your boy, and your other boys look pretty happy after meeting their younger brother. So it’s all wonderful. 

Or maybe you are too fast to judge.

“Uncle Diluc, Aunt Y/n,” you are surprised, when your niece calls you both, and glance at the oldest kid in the room inquiringly. To your surprise her face is expressionless, or at least she is trying to keep it this way, because your husband can clearly see barely-hidden mischief lighting up her eyes. She waits when her silence draws attention of the rest of the people to her persona and then, with the same straight face, says something that immediately sends her father choking on a silent laughter.

“Next time I want a girl cousin.”

Dumbfounded, Diluc, you and her mother stare at the girl with jaws going slack, while Kaeya is nearly dying from suppressing his violent coughing, bent in half and shaking. Not letting it crack her act, she holds her head high and heads right towards the door, feigning nonchalance with her graceful posture and slow steps.

“I will go and ask about the dinner. That's all.”

And just like that she leaves you all once again under the pretense of checking on with the kitchen staff. Mrs Alberich is the first one to snap out of the collective stupor and, shaking her head, grabs Kaeya’s elbow to drag him out of the room. Diluc is next, inhaling deeply, wondering why he is even surprised by her antics. He notices how the twins kind of lost interest in watching a baby that is doing literally nothing, so he ushers the boys to a very important mission - to make sure that their dad’s favorite meal is cooked, which they take with all seriousness.

And once more it’s only him, you, and little Cyrus, sleeping peacefully in his bed. You watch thick scarred fingers unbutton the vest and peel it off, hanging it on the back of the chair. Same fingers brush his bangs away and he sighs again, making eye contact with you. He smiles and you smile too.

“As much as I love this girl, I’ll have to disappoint her.”

“I agree, love,” the man is at your side again, an arm snaking around your shoulders and pressing you into him. “I admit, I would’ve loved to have a sweet girl looking just like you, but judging by the looks of our sons... Who knows how many attempts it’ll take, and I am not risking your health anymore.”

“You are so sweet,” you swoon, lacing your fingers together and squeezing his hand. “I love you for that. Are you sure that this is enough?”

“It always was enough. From the moment it was just you and me it was already enough. You simply tripled this happiness.”

“We tripled this happiness.”

“We will.”

“Yes, we did. And we will keep it that way.”

You lean close to kiss him, but, before he can reciprocate, start kissing all over his face, wherever your current position allows you to reach. Your partner keens on your affectionate attack, lowering his head on purpose, so you have more skin to cover with your lips, and since it brings you so much satisfaction, you do not stop until a thought, that you are forgetting something, is at the front of your mind.

“I just realized that I am the only one who has not wished you a happy birthday today. So… Happy birthday, Diluc. I love you very-very much. Sorry I am not very creative this year.”

“I think the little boy sleeping over there would beg to differ,” your husband nods at the crib, making you pout, but is quick to kiss it away. “I love you too, Y/n. Thank you for everything. This birthday was as perfect as any other you spent with me.”

“And I will make sure to make it perfect every single year ahead of us, my glorious Dawn. Should we wish a happy birthday to our little Dusk as well? I think I heard Kaeya briefly congratulate him, I want to do it too!”

You are so adorable when excitement is written all over you, and it's hard not to give in to your sparkling eyes, especially when he wants the same thing you do.

“We absolutely should. Let’s do it together, alright?”

The sky is painted black outside, and the second floor of the Winery is quiet, when in the comfort of one of its rooms three sweet words are spoken in two voices with such love and devotion, only parents can have for their child.

“Happy birthday, Cyrus.”

And maybe the winds would pick these words and carry them through the time to the one, and, stroking his short red beard, he would smile and say that the Dawn and the Dusk were always meant to be together. 

Diluc and Cyrus

[starlostastronaut]

DAY 02 | AS LUCKY AS US

PAIRING: lee felix x reader

GENRE: fluff, just pure fluff

WC: 0.80k

CW: none

PROMPT: matching bracelets

did i just describe making a bracelet in 800 words? yes, yes i did. honestly no real plot here, just a cute scene. hope you enjoy <3

title from where the lines overlap - paramore

general masterlist here

<< previous | mctc masterlist | next >>

"Can you pass me the box with the white beads?" Felix asked as soon as he heard you walk into the room. He didn’t even bother to raise his head; he was too immersed in the project he was working on. The Australian was currently sitting in the middle of your living room, leaning back into the sofa for some support. You tried to convince him to sit somewhere more comfortable (anywhere besides the floor, really), but it was to no avail. Felix claimed things were more organized and easier for him to reach if he sat on the ground. And by things, he meant the mess of boxes and beads he managed to create in your living room during the hour and a half he was there.

In hindsight, you should have probably expected this, knowing Felix for years now. But then again, who would expect a worldwide-famous kpop idol to become so intrigued by the plastic beads you once bought for when your little niece was over? So there you were, watching Felix make what was his fifth bracelet and trying to figure out the colour scheme so it wouldn't collide with his comeback stage outfits. He had decided to make matching couple bracelets to wear at all times. The only problem was his current comeback period, which meant he had to be careful with choosing his jewelry if he wanted to convince the stylists to let him keep it for the stage. Fortunately for Felix, he managed to bribe one of the stylists to tell him the planned colour schemes for the next few stages.

As you picked up the box he wanted and passed it to him, you couldn’t help but smile. There was something so endearing about the way his eyes sparkled with excitement upon being handed the white beads. It was something so simple, but seeing Felix happy was all the reason needed for you to be happy as well.

“Move over.” You gently nudged his shoulder, and Felix detached himself from the sofa to make room for you. The second you made yourself comfortable, he was leaning back again, this time into your chest. Your arms automatically circled his waist and pulled him even closer, keeping a firm but gentle grip on him. Your chin found its resting place on Felix’s shoulder, and for a while, you just watched him work in silence.

When Felix had almost finished the bracelet, he held it up to look at the colours. “No… This isn't working. Something is wrong…” he mumbled to himself as he inspected the arrangement of beads. Even though you couldn't see his face from your position, you knew he had his “thinking face” on - lips pursed together and eyes focused only on the problem at hand. 

“Maybe try the dark blue instead of the light?” you suggested. The light blue was softer and more blended in with the white, thus making it harder to spot on stage. However, pairing a light and a dark colour has always worked out well, and personally, you liked the contrast that such combinations created.

Felix hummed, thinking about your idea. He began taking apart the bracelet until there was a single white bead left on the string. Then he made you hand him another box so he could start putting together a new bracelet. You noticed the pattern he was creating was different; he used more white beads than on the last design. You guessed it was because the bracelet needed to be as unnoticable as possible in order to not get taken away by stylists. 

For a while, you stayed in silence, accompanied only by Felix's quiet rendition of some Sam Smith song. You laid your head on his shoulder, simply enjoying being close to him like this. Not that you didn't get enough physical contact; in fact, both you and your boyfriend were more than willing to hug everything that breathed. It was usually Felix cuddling you, though, not the other way around. It felt nice to hold him in your arms for a change. It was like a reminder that this personification of sunshine and happiness was yours, and that made you feel all warm and content.

When Felix finished his bracelet, he excitedly showed you. “You were right, it looks much better." He smiled and turned his head to give you a quick thank-you kiss. He immediately began working on the second bracelet, slightly changing the pattern so it fits better with your style, but only so much to be clear that the bracelets are matching. 

A few days later, you scrolled through your social media, seeing hundreds of STAYs making theories about Felix’s new accessory. With a certain sense of pride, your eyes fell to your wrist, where was a bracelet designed to match Felix’s.

taglist: @stayconnecteed @saintriots @vivioluh

©starlostastronaut 2023 | do not repost/translate my work without permission

[ooihcnoiwlerh]

I have provided fresh meat, my Darlings!

The link to the entire fic as well as the new chapter is provided above.

@blazeflays @wo-ming-bai @richardslady121 Also please let me know if you would also liked to be tagged with updates!

CW: dubious consent; arranged marriage; forced marriage; forced pregnancy; rough sex; implied/referenced child abuse; blood kink; problematic smut; implied/referenced sexual abuse; implied/referenced torture

Chapter summary: Feyd-Rautha and the Reader look at each other and think, "They need work, but it's fine. I'm training them."

Chapter Notes:

-This chapter doesn't have quite as much plot or action and is generally more introspective/kind of shows a turning point and transition to both the Reader starting to learn to play the game and Feyd-Rautha seeking to challenge and unnerve her. Basically the Reader thinking, "I don't think I can reasonably make him better but I can make him treat me better" and Feyd thinking, "I can make her worse😈" -There have been a lot of interpretations of Feyd-Rautha's Darlings given that there's little information we're really given within the movie and I really like the theory that I've seen going around that they're effectively animals with human bodies that were experimented on by the Bene Tleilax.

CHAPTER SEVEN: YOU'RE LEARNING

You wake up early the next morning to your morning coffee and a reminder of your mother’s advice.  She dispensed it more than once over the years, enough that you were able to repeat it verbatim: sometimes a person isn’t a person, but an obstacle. Sometimes they’re obstacles that you need to face, problems that you need to solve. Find out what they need that you can use to get ahead.

So what does Feyd-Rautha want and how do you get it for him in order to temper him, make him more amenable to you?  He’s made clear at this point what he doesn’t want: compassion that he’s undoubtedly misconstrued as pity, any reminders of his childhood and adolescence, and any insinuations–intentional or otherwise–that he’s inadequate as a man.  

That leaves what he does want from you, and for the most part you think you know.  He wants you to have his children, and that’s in progress if not now, then soon.  He wants, well, other than last night, he’s been transparent that he wants you , carnally if for nothing else.

He also wants you to properly learn to fight at the level he wants, and there’s no way it’s just for your sake, or even wanting you to stay safe as the mother of his future children.  Those are a given.  

You can’t forget the way he’d gotten hard during your training and the way he spoke about it later.  You hadn’t seen it in the arena when he was slashing throats with theatricality and precision but little else, but this must be intimate for him.  It doesn’t surprise you once you think about it; a man who enjoys the taste of your blood would most certainly get off on getting a knife at your throat, even if he’s not allowed to cut it.

So how do you use that?  The Reverend Mother Mohiam all but stated that seduction was the key to tempering and subduing him into something you can handle but that’s easier said than done.  You’ve understood on some level for years now that you’d one day have to learn to use your sex as a tool, but it’s easier to implement in theory rather than practice.  The limited experience you’ve had before this–kisses both stolen and given freely at night when you’d slipped away unsupervised, fondling over the clothes, above the waist, and once grasping and sliding your hand over a boy you’d liked as he’d panted and moaned directions at you and you’d frantically tried to finish him off before either of you could get caught--weren’t for an agenda but for its own enjoyment.  Before your wedding night the only person who’d dared go beneath your skirts was you.  And then, of course, you’re reasonably certain that most men don’t keep an entire armoire of devices to use or have used on them while in bed, that most men aren’t eager to taste their wife’s blood, that most men don’t carry around the kind of shame and buried anger that your husband does wrapped in a deep-seated need to hurt and be hurt.

But that’s the hand that you’ve been dealt, and the only leverage you’ll be getting out of this marriage is by appealing to those desires and using your own body as a tool to keep him satiated and keep you in the best of his care.

By the time you’ve finished plaiting your hair you’ve decided that you’ve learned enough since your wedding night that you can try and use to your advantage.  You’ll keep adapting and if one of the ways to win him over is at knifepoint, then so be it.

And if he wants to banish everyone from the Training Halls so he can rut into you like an animal next to a rack of knives, then fine.  You can take him however he comes to you.

You try to keep all this in mind as you leave your chambers and take to the Training Halls for another lesson.

Feyd-Rautha already appears to have broken a sweat.  Drills, you assume, and done alongside his men if their matching sheens are anything to go by.

Korvo’s back to train you, he says.  He needed to have part of his jaw wired shut but otherwise he’s fine; he just won’t be able to talk much for a while.

And strangely enough it’s true; whatever Healer Korvo went to did an excellent job because there’s not a lot of bruising or swelling.  It occurs to you that he looks a few years older than Feyd, and you can’t help but wonder what Korvo thought about the hushed rumors about the Baron’s proclivities years ago.  About Feyd-Rautha, the boy who’s become the man he now serves.

As for your husband, it’s as if the past couple of nights never happened.  He seems indifferent as he hands you your shield device and a knife.  There’s not a trace of the quiet rage from early yesterday morning nor the cold domination of last night.  Not that you were ever going to ask him, especially not with other people around, but he gives you your answer to the silent question, When are we going to talk about yesterday? The answer?  Never .

He has Korvo start off slowly with you, a warm-up of sorts, movements guarded as you go over strikes and parries before taking over for the rest of your session.

You think you’re prepared for it this time as he starts to speed up, stops going through the motions and actually starts sparring with you.  You tell yourself that no one’s going to catch you unawares again, but well.  His training is a lot more extensive than yours.  You let out a yelp, realizing yet again that you weren’t focused enough on his footwork and he’s taken the opportunity to trip you.  You stumble, catching yourself just in time to avoid a fall.

“You’ve had a day to rest,” Feyd says.  “There’s no reason you can’t be pushed farther.”

To rest .  He was the one that told you not to come and train yesterday.  You clench your jaw and strike again.  If anything Feyd-Rautha seems amused by your irritation and sends you stumbling again with a swat on the backside with the flat of his knife.

You turn, incredulous and with an insult on the tip of your tongue.

“Don’t strike in anger,” he says, holding back a smirk.  You raise your chin and try to level your gaze at him as you try to collect yourself.

Hey, this is actually a good sign , a part of you realizes.  There’s something almost close to playful in the way he’s looking at you right now.  He’s already in a far better mood than he was yesterday .  This is working for him.

You roll your shoulders and take a defensive stance, silently gesturing for him to strike first, and this time he actually grins.

Breakfast afterwards is its own task.  You’ve gotten your appetite back this morning, but only when you forget everything except your own hunger and especially try your best to ignore the man at the head of the table.  You’ll try to bury what you know about the Baron for now, or at least try to act like he doesn’t disgust you.  Not that he’d care what you think of him, not like you can do anything about it.

Instead you wonder about what motherhood looks like on this planet.  You’ll not want for anything, you’re sure, in terms of space for the baby and help raising it, but you hope the Baron isn’t an indicator of how children are raised here.  You haven’t seen many children in the Fortress–the sons and daughters of captains and generals, you’re sure–and you haven’t interacted with any. Feyd-Rautha mentioned military and combat training for any sons you’ll have but what about general schooling?  

When the children come, surely you’ll be a part of their lives somehow?  You’ll make certain of it.  You have to; they’ll be raised in the Harkonnen culture but they’ll still be half you , and you’ll do everything to make sure they never forget that, where you come from and the half of them that you represent.

“Not too tired from your training session, are you?” Feyd-Rautha asks, and you realize that you’ve been drifting off, staring into the distance.  You hadn’t expected him to notice.

“Oh, no, husband,” you tell him.  “Just lost in thought.  Actually, I was curious about where one might put a nursery in the private quarters.”  Not that there would’ve been any use for them within the royal family in decades, but surely there must have been something installed before?

As soon as Feyd starts to answer, the Baron interrupts, “What are you training her for?”

“Just in the event of an emergency or ambush, I want her to be prepared to defend herself.  If the time ever comes that I’m not there to do it for her,” Feyd-Rautha adds.

The Baron looks at him with those beady blue eyes.  “You really think such a thing will ever happen, boy?” he asks, and there’s an undercurrent to his tone that makes you look away, never mind that they’ve started talking about you as if you aren’t there.

Boy .  As if not just Feyd’s title but his very manhood is a privilege his uncle bestows on him that he can revoke at a moment’s notice.

Feyd ignores the taunt.  “Just planning ahead,” he says.  It doesn’t come back up.  When you excuse yourself to use the bathroom the Baron doesn’t react when you come back.  He barely seems to notice you’re there.

To him, you are not family.  You are the orifice his handsome young nephew buries himself in and the birthing canal that will add to the Harkonnen lineage, but not a real person who’s earned any familiarity with him nor will you ever be.  That suits you just fine and you find that you’d rather he ignore you than pay any special attention to you, just so long as he never gets to sink his claws into your future children.  

Speaking of which, “The Fortress has everything you could need,” Feyd says.  “Our children will have their own quarters and plenty of staff to watch over them.”

And how about allowing me to watch over them? you want to ask, but won’t, especially since you’re not alone.  Or do ladies of leisure outsource all of that here?   Idrisa will know; you’ll save your real questions for her.

After breakfast Feyd-Rautha offers you his arm.  “I imagine you’re interested in the relaxation chambers now?” he asks.  “They provide massages.  Great for the joints.”

“I could be persuaded,” you tell him, feeling not just sore from earlier this morning but from two days ago.  You’d never considered yourself a lazy person but you’ve also never committed to any kind of daily training regimen and the nighttime and occasionally additional morning routines in the bedroom certainly haven’t helped.

“It’s interesting,” you tell him, “training with you and seeing how you do it, even if I’m not there for all of it.”

“That wasn’t my last training session for the day,” he says.  “I’m going back soon.”

You blink.  “Why?” you ask him.  He’d clearly started early and gotten his heart pumping by the time you’d arrived.

“To be as physically prepared as I can for the arena showing on my birthday.  It’s less than three weeks away at this point,” he says.

You look over at him with your brows furrowed.  What does he really need extra preparation for?  He’s in no danger, there’s no real risk.

He seems to understand your confusion.  “It’s important that I look like I'm in top form,” he explains, which just presents further questions.

How will they even know what your body looks like?  If it’s anything like last time, you’ll be the only fighter in the arena that’s fully dressed .

“Well, alright,” you finally.  You look back at him.  “So you’re going to have to get changed again into training gear, and then shower again and change again after that?”

“Yes,” he says, voice curt.  “Appearance is important here.”

Yours is, certainly , you don’t tell him.  But you do realize that your uncle’s still the Baron and he floats around in his suspensor chair wearing a long nightgown?  If he’s ever cared about his appearance, he must’ve stopped years ago .  You suppose that it’s one of many ways that Feyd’s turned out differently from him, although not the most important.  It’s not for nothing that even though you have no idea how he’ll turn out as a parent–yet another thing that scares you about this–he still won’t be as bad of a parental figure as his uncle.

He looks at you for a moment and you realize that you haven’t spoken and have just enough sense to realize that giving a simpering compliment about his looks will come across as not only disingenuous but suspicious.  “My apologies,” you admit.  “I was just thinking about what expectations will be placed on our children.”

“Our son, although we’ll need more than one, will embody all Harkonnen core values: power, ambition, resilience, intellect.  I’ll accept no less and neither will anyone else on Geidi Prime,” he says. How long has he been thinking about fatherhood, you wonder?  Or is he repeating what he’s been told time and time again what the Baron wants out of him? 

“And if one of our children is a daughter?” you ask, hoping that doesn’t happen.  It’s bad enough to be a man on this planet.

“She’ll be expected to be gracious, discreet, and always careful and cognizant of her surroundings,” Feyd says.  “She’ll be composed even under pressure and adaptable.”

You try to absorb this, wondering how much he thinks you fit that mold yourself and assuming that you come up short.  “I thought the first word you were going to say was fertile ,” you tell him.

“That goes without saying,” he says.  “It’ll be her greatest contribution to the family to add to its lineage.”

I think you just described my responsibilities and expectations here, you think as he escorts you to the relaxation chambers.

Before he leaves he gives you a brief kiss–a little reward, perhaps, for minding yourself.  “You’re learning,” is all he says.

You’d expected the rooms to have the same austere black and gray background as the Dining Halls, the Throne Room, even the bedrooms, but whatever materials used for the doors and panels emulate the colors and patterns of cedar even though you doubt it’s real wood and the textured walls are painted a warm, pale cream.  It feels like a different environment entirely, reminiscent of the women’s bathhouses on your home planet.  The attendant inside recognizes you immediately, although you assume that it’s hardly a challenge.  “ You can’t mistake the Na-Baroness ,” you’re sure servants tell each other, “ she’s the only one in this Fortress with hair. ”

Most of the attendants are women, and again most of them seem young, hardly more than girls.

“Welcome, Na-Baroness.  We do so hope that you enjoy our accommodations,” the first attendant says, her head in a respectful decline as she curtsies.  “How may we be of service today?”

When you tell her that you were hoping for a simple massage because your joints have been feeling stiff she reacts as though you’ve told her that all your bones have shattered.

“I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been in discomfort, Na-Baroness,” she says.  “We’ll make sure to ease all aches and pains.”

As she guides you away and towards a private room you sense people looking at you and notice a couple of higher-ranking women in dressing robes, undoubtedly here for a bit of relaxation themselves.  As soon as you look over at them, they glance away, pretending that they’re looking off into the distance.  You want to stop, walk over, and introduce yourself to them ( they know who you are, though.  Everyone knows that the Na-Baron just married an arranged non-Harkonnen bride from another planet ) but you don’t get the chance.  Instead you tear your gaze away to follow the attendant to another room with what you must assume is a synthetic material that effectively mimics the appearance and grain pattern of wood, complete with a changing station, a table with oils and towels, and in the middle a covered massage table with a servant on either side who bow as soon as you enter.

It’s an interesting experience, to be sure.  The servants attending to you are quiet and gracious, but you’re made starkly aware again of your foreignness.

Your hair confuses them, for one thing.  They look at and touch it as if they’re not sure whether or not they think it’s attractive when you've spent your entire life before Geidi Prime being told that it’s beautiful.  They’re gentle with you, careful when undressing you and guiding you to a massage table.  When kneading oil into your sore muscles they treat you as if you’re delicate, even though they’re smaller than you are.  They work silently, your own muffled moans when they work out a particularly sore spot the only sounds other than the ambient mist coming from the next room.  

You wonder at first if it’s because they only speak Harkonnen and not the Imperial Standard, but as they’re getting finished one of the young women–probably not much older than you, although it’s still difficult to tell without any hair or eyebrows to better indicate her age–timidly asks, “Would the Na-Baroness like to be given stimulation as part of her massage?”

You blink, not sure you heard correctly, and raise yourself up on your elbows.  “Stimulation?” you repeat, brow furrowing.

“Some people enjoy other kinds of massage as a form of relief, Na-Baroness.  We’d be honored to indulge you if you prefer,” she says, looking down the moment you look up.

I’m still lost , you almost tell her before it sinks in.  “Oh!” you say, the single word slipping out.  The woman flinches, undoubtedly worried that she’s offended you.  It’s probably why she hasn’t said a word this entire time; she has no idea how to talk to you, what you would consider appropriate or not, and would rather not speak at all than risk saying the wrong thing.  You gape for a moment before managing, “No thank you.  A-a normal massage is plenty.”

She bows.  “Very well, Na-Baroness.  Is there anything else we can do in service to you?”  

You’d been curious about the other rooms but suddenly you wish for nothing more than to leave.  “No thank you, not today.  The massage was all I needed.”

“It was our pleasure, Na-Baroness.  We are at your disposal,” the woman says, words you’ve already heard multiple times.  “Let us help you redress.” 

They gently wipe off any excess oil with damp washcloths and dry you off before guiding you back into your clothes as if scared they’ll hurt you, or rather, scared that you’ll say something that gets them in trouble.  Even a foreign woman commands fear if she’s married to the right Harkonnen, even if she’s never going to be a true Harkonnen herself and whether they’re scared of you because of who you’re married to or also because of who you are, it makes no difference.

In spite of everything, when you get back to your quarters you realize that physically, you feel great ; better than you have since your wedding.  You feel pliant and loose-limbed, your skin soft and supple.  In theory it should give you all the energy you need to continue your studies of this planet and its language.

But your self-imposed Harkonnen lessons aren’t holding your attention; the grammar structure is fairly simple, and you’ve learned a few basic words and phrases (and obscenities, because you’re pretty sure that that’s most of what Feyd-Rautha grunts in your ear when he’s fucking you) and you can’t help your restlessness as you settle back in your chair.

You tap your fingertips against your desk, mind wandering to your husband, your body remembering with a throb how he feels inside you.  You’re getting used to it more and more, for the most part even learning to enjoy it.  

He might be coming back from his second training session soon.  Maybe he’s already come back and is taking his second shower or bath of the day.  Maybe you’ll ask him about his armoire, which he hasn’t opened for you since that first night, but, and you pause, thinking it over, picturing him sweaty from his training, and think, no.   The armoire can wait.  If you want to improve your seduction game, you can start by being the one to initiate your encounters.  You can start now.

You strip again, wondering how he’ll react to you entering his chambers.  Hopefully amenable to it; he probably won’t dismiss you if you come to him like this.  If nothing else he has an incentive to put a baby in you, you think as you wrap yourself up in one of your robes and pad over to your bathroom.

You press your ear to the door joining your bathroom to his.  The water’s running: he must be showering.  You wait, heart pounding, thinking, It will be fine.  Think about this morning; he seemed reasonably happy with you this morning.

You shut your eyes for a moment, take a breath, and open the door.

He’s standing in the middle of his shower, his eyes on you from the moment you step inside.  He turns the water off and watches you silently, eyes falling to your robe.  He must be fully aware of the fact that you’re wearing nothing underneath.

“Sorry to interrupt, husband,” you say, hoping that your intuition is correct.  “I was just…” bored? Interested in your company? Curious about how else you decompress after training? You swallow, fiddling with the sash of your robe.

Feyd says nothing at first as he steps out of the shower and onto the soft mat on the black granite floor.  Any words you have die before they can reach your lips as he steps in closer and the height difference between you feels vaster than it’s felt before.

His eyes flicker to your robe.  “Take that off,” he says.

You look him in the eye, raising your chin slightly as you unfasten the sash around your waist and brush the robe off your shoulders and onto the floor, presenting yourself for him as naked as the day you were born.  The two of you stand in silence for a moment; he’s dripping wet and you’re, well…you bite your lip and hesitate before reaching out, wrist turning as you wrap a hand around him.  You feel awkward in the ensuing silence, brushing your thumb over the tip of him and glancing between his face and his cock, breath catching in your throat as you see the way his gaze darkens.  You open your mouth to speak but find yourself at a loss for words.

It doesn’t occur to you that he might prefer this to any polished seduction or that he likes your nerves, your earnestness.  That you've come to him as if yesterday never happened and like he's a whole intact man with no buried shame.  He stiffens rapidly under your touch, silently daring you to keep fondling him.  You wonder if it would be worth it to sink to your knees and take him into your mouth–you’ve done it once before as a preamble to the act itself and remember every detail and lesson of it vividly–when Feyd-Rautha starts walking you backwards, backwards, until you reach his bathroom wall and you drop your hand in surprise.

“I…” you start and he silences you with a kiss, gripping the back of your head and tilting your head up to meet him.  Once he has you where he wants you, your arms wrapping around his shoulders, his hands slide down your sides, over your hips and ass, coming to the backs of your legs, nudging you forward.

“C’mon,” he says, his rasp quiet but commanding in the echoes of his bathroom.  You can’t help your nervous laugh as you hop up and he catches you, hands under your thighs that he quickly wraps around his hips, holding you in place as his cock brushes against your folds, your lower belly.  It’s filled out and ready and you bite your lip as you think: how to maneuver…?  

You glance back up at him and his expectant gaze.  Come on, pet, he seems to tell you.  You’re a clever little thing, you can figure it out, and so you grip his cock again and position it at your entrance, almost laughing at how two weeks ago you’d have been hard-pressed to know exactly where it is and how to properly penetrate it.

You gasp, head falling forward as you sink down onto him and cry out as he jerks his hips up, filling you the rest of the way.  It’s always such a deep ache and stretch when he buries himself in you and you’re never quite given enough time to adjust to the size of him before he starts moving and it feels like he’s so deep in you that can hardly breathe.  Every time he picks a new angle to fuck you in it almost shocks you how he seems to find another way to make as though there’s no part of your insides that he hasn’t touched, and you hold onto him, trying to rock back down on him, and finding you can only really cling to him.  He buries his face in your neck, breathing in the scent of your hair and the tonic you use for it, before pausing, shifting you further onto him, and moving away from the wall.  You yelp, tightening your thighs around his waist and wondering what he’ll do next, where he’ll take you.   

He carries you, then, out of the bathroom and to his bed where he drops you unceremoniously on your back and following you as you go.  You both grunt as he lands on top of you and pushes your legs further back towards your chest and he braces his arms on either side of your head.

It’s hard and rough and fast, your knees pushed back nearly to your shoulders that he spreads wide to make room for his own.  Your cries as he pounds into your open, vulnerable body spur him on and he drops his forehead to yours, panting against your mouth.  He speaks in the Imperial Standard this time when he says, “Like a little songbird, making pretty noises for me,” and brings his mouth to the juncture of your neck and jaw.

You let out a whine as he continues, his tongue flickering and then lapping at the sensitive skin like he’s done before to your cunt.  You gasp and readjust your grip on his shoulders, almost stunned at the visceral reactions he can pull from just that.  You’d known it was a sensitive area, had been kissed there before, but especially juxtaposed against the pounding of him inside of you it’s–it’s–

“A -aaah! ” you manage, clenching around him, barely holding on, your legs shaking as he speeds up, his mouth continuing the onslaught.  The whimpers that spill out of you escalate and turn to a sharp cry as he bares his teeth and bites down.

He grunts, hips pumping, as he comes inside of you, his teeth and lips on the sensitive skin of your neck and your arms wrapped around him.  He gives one final thrust for good measure before dropping his head to your neck, his breath harsh.  You hold onto him for a moment as he pauses and pulls out.

Will you let me hold you again?  I liked that.  I liked when you rested on me and I got to pet you as if you could ever be made docile .  You don’t ask, and don’t know how to.  He rolls over onto his back.

“I trust that training went well, husband?” you ask instead after you catch your breath and start to come down.

He grunts an affirmative and for a moment you think that’s the end of it.  He takes a breath, though, mulling over the silence between the two of you.  You wait, sensing his realization that you’d like to hear more.  That the two of you can have a normal conversation like a normal married couple.  “Sparred with a few of my men, then a couple of criminals in the dungeons.  They don’t provide as much of a challenge but it still keeps me alert to practice on someone who actually wants to kill me.”

“They weren’t sedated?” you ask.

He shakes his head, exhaling.  “Not these ones.  Didn’t want to contaminate their bloodstream,” he says.

You think back to over a week ago, and something Idrisa told you.  “So you could safely feed them to your Darlings afterwards?” you ask.

He turns his head to you and you do the same, mirroring him.  His full lips part as he mulls your words over.  “Now where’d you hear about them?” he asks, clearly trying to think back to a time when he’s mentioned them to you and coming up with nothing.

“Idrisa,” you add when you don’t see any recognition in his eyes at the name, “my personal attendant, mentioned that you had pets that you fed human remains.”

This piques his interest, it seems.  He rises up on one elbow, turning to his side, leaning over you.  “How did she describe them?” he asks.

You shrug, not sure how that makes a difference.  “She didn’t.  She just said that you feed human flesh to what you called your Darlings,” you say, not bothering to hide your distaste.  You’re not going to pretend to like or condone everything he does; not like it would stop him.

Feyd-Rautha’s eyes glint.  He breaks into a smile that is equal parts delighted and cruel.  “Is that really all she told you?” he says.  He doesn’t move a millimeter, but you can sense his growing excitement coiled tight within him like he’s ready to pounce.

“So…what are they?  Canine or feline?  Or aquatic?” you ask, not sure if you want to know or get a more specific image but asking all the same.

Feyd-Rautha looks at you as though you’ve given him the greatest gift he didn’t even have to ask for.  “Would you like to meet them?” he asks instead of answering your question.

No, of course not , you want to tell him.  I have no interest in meeting a bunch of animals who devour people whole .  “Sure.  Why not,” you say.

His black teeth and gums are unnerving against the pallor of the rest of him before his smile turns closed-mouthed again into a smirk.  

When you’ve both dressed and left his chambers, you assume that he’s going to lead you to a dungeon, but he instead starts walking down a corridor not far from the private wing.

“I’d keep them closer,” he says over his shoulder, “but they make such a mess.”

So a pool or a moat would be out of the question, but a shark tank is still feasible , you think.  

He reaches a door, and the first moment you step inside and see what’s on the padded platform in front of you, you want to roll your eyes and walk back out.

So he’s taken me on a detour first to meet his concubines , you think.  

Three naked, lithe, bald-headed women lie curled up sleeping, nestled against one another like a pile of kittens.  You raise your eyebrows, letting out an irritated huff.  You should’ve known that he keeps concubines; most leaders from Major Houses do.  It’s just that he’d seemed so preoccupied with you that you’d almost forgotten that very possibility.  These are the women he normally slakes his lust with and what he’ll go back to once you’ve confirmed that you’re carrying his seed.  You have a snide remark on the tip of your tongue about how nice it is to meet the other women he fucks.  

But then you notice that there’s blood drying on their hands, caking their sharp-nailed fingertips and you realize what the smell of the iron tang that permeated the air really is. Dread settles in the pit of your stomach.

“What’s going on?” you say aloud to no answer.

The women stir, and then they open their eyes.  They have neither pupils nor irises.  Pure ink black, stares, unthinking, back at you.

When you first met him you’d been quick to assume that Feyd-Rautha lacked all humanity beyond his physical form, but this is what it truly looks like when a person has no human essence.  You’re not sure what they’re seeing when they look at you but they perceive nothing except the sight of warm meat.

Abomination!  Abomination! you think, too frozen to scream it out loud, the sound of it only coming out of you in a pitiful squeak when they start to move, clambering towards you.

Oh, Great Mother, they move like animals, on all fours .  One of them opens her mouth, teeth and gums as black as her master’s but her teeth are sharpened into fangs she bares in what may be a smile, may be a snarl. 

Oh, fuck this.   

You turn and start to run when Feyd-Rautha holds his arm out to grab you around the chest and pull you to his side as he says something in Harkonnen that you try to grasp.

Something-something woman something-something food.  Okay, that was a negation.  He’s saying something like “she’s not food.”  You gasp and dig your nails into his forearm, unable to look away from them, the way they tilt their heads at you.

You can hear them hiss and chatter, put out that he hasn’t presented them with a meal, and you realize that they’re speaking in neither the Imperial Standard nor Harkonnen battle-language but a vague imitation of human speech.

“What the fuck?  What the fuck? ” you say aloud, struggling in Feyd-Rautha’s grip, watching as they scurry closer to the two of you, sniffing at you in particular.

You stare at the fathomless depths of their unblinking black eyes and how they tilt their heads, even their curiosity utterly fucking terrifying.

“You said you wanted to meet my Darlings,” Feyd-Rautha says in a satisfied tone.  “Don’t be rude.  They like you.” He says something in Harkonnen to the women that you can’t decipher, and their chattering ceases and demurs into near-purring.

One of them sniffs and nuzzles at your stomach and you flinch, wondering how quick she’d be to open her mouth and take a bite of your sensitive skin if her master allowed it.  Your stomach that within a few months will swell with Feyd-Rautha’s heir.  Does she understand what any of that means?  Do any of them?

How naive you were, thinking that he kept animals as his pets, normal women as his concubines.  How silly and childish to think that he wouldn’t be as much of a degenerate as you feared.  

Just when I think I’ve adjusted to this insane planet I see something even worse.    

Feyd-Rautha closes the door and directs his gaze up and down the length of your body, the tremors in your hands, your entire body shaking, in fact, and settles on your face.  He says nothing, waits for you to go first.

“What…” you bring a hand to your forehead, hoping that this is a nightmare, “ are they?”

He doesn’t smirk but you can sense his satisfaction.  He undoubtedly gets some entertainment out of each time he gets to introduce someone new to his Darlings, or rather, inflict his Darlings on them.  He probably doesn’t get the opportunity as often as he’d like.  “They’re a Bene Tleilax experiment,” he says.  “They thought we might enjoy them.”

“Why would they…” commit a crime against nature like this?  

“Because they can,” he says.  

“Then why have them?” you ask.

He looks at you as if you’re the unreasonable one.  “They already exist, and I’ve found some use for them.”

As his concubines .  “So you…” you feel nauseous at the idea, barely able to say it aloud, “...fuck them?”

Your shoulders sag with relief when you he says, “No, I don’t fuck them, Y/N.  They’re nice to look at but it would be akin to fucking a wild animal.  They can be entertaining, though.  And they’re a decent tool for intimidation.”

Entertaining .  You could use hundreds of words to describe what you just saw and the wretched nature of their existence and entertaining would not be one of them.

Still, you realize what he means.  His menagerie needs to eat to stay alive, and it provides incentive to stay on the Na-Baron’s good side.  No one wants to end up as food.  And how many men can honestly say, “ If you don’t do as I say I’m going to feed you to the trio of feral cannibal women I keep in my Fortress” ?  It’s a far more unique and memorable threat than any you’ve heard.

So they’re not his concubines; you don’t believe for one moment that he’d care enough to lie to you about that, which just makes you wonder where his real concubines are.  “Who were you fucking before I was assigned to you?  I wasn’t your first.”  

Feyd-Rautha’s lips quirk up for a moment in a brief almost-smile.  “There are times when people see me in the arena and want to know if I’m as much of a brute as I seem,” he says.  

“Are you?  With them?”  You haven’t forgotten that he’s expected to be better-behaved with you than he probably would be with someone else.  Someone potentially disposable.

His expression is carefully neutral as he seems to think on how much he wants to frighten you some more or how much he’ll let your own imagination do the work.  “I give them what they’re looking for,” he says after a moment.

You glance back over at the door.  How many people whisper about his trio of naked women the way they keep their head down about the Baron?  Does that not bother him, how people who know about this undoubtedly think, If he’s willing to stick his cock into them , what else is he capable of?

“You do know that calling them your Darlings, having them naked like this–it makes it seem like you have sex with them,” you tell him.

Feyd-Rautha looks unsurprised and unmoved.  “They can be sedated into being dressed sometimes.  It’s just too cumbersome to try and change them every day,” he says.  “Besides, people can think what they want,” he says.  “I don’t care, just as long as they fear my name.”

Very Harkonnen of you , you think.  “What are their names?” you ask instead.

He seems amused by the question.  “Didn’t bother.  They don’t need them,” he says.

You look back at the door.  They can’t always have been like this, could they?  “Did they not have names once?  Before…this?”

“It doesn’t matter,” he says.  “They won’t remember.”

You can’t help but stare at him when he says that.  These were people once , you don’t need to tell him because he doesn’t care.  You don’t know what to say to him; the words dry up in your throat.  Here you were trying to bring out the human side to him when you get a stark reminder that for many people that side of him doesn’t exist.  You try to remember how the Reverend Mother assured you that he has weaknesses that you can use, just like any other man.  How he has his own, albeit twisted, moral code and sense of honor.

Count yourself lucky that it extends to you, you think.

You don’t like yourself very much when you think about it, the palpable fear he instills in everyone he thinks he can readily discard, and the fact that you’ve already decided that you’ll do your best to overlook it, for now anyways.  You have yourself and your future child to look after first.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

full hc request: mc and m6 celebrating holi ?

(i am friendless this holi and i will cry over it)

-🫧 anon

The Arcana HCs: Celebrating Holi

~ most of this is based off of childhood experience celebrating in South Asia, thank you for resurrecting all the fun memories anon! ~

Julian

He loves the concept of it

A community event, full of color and celebration? Heck yeah! This extrovert is pumped and ready to spread the joy!

This extrovert is also a doctor

And this doctor is already gearing up for the aftermath - for all the people who caught cold running around in wet clothes, the injuries from hopping around on wet cobblestones and twisting ankles ...

... the overenthusiastic celebrants falling into the canals and bumping their heads, the kids who always end up licking the color powder and find out the hard way what they're allergic to ...

And of course, the mild panic he experiences for the next week seeing faded stains on his patient's skin and faces and briefly mistaking them for bruising

Seriously, why do bruises turn every color of the rainbow??

But all that aside, he's excited to celebrate with you and will even bend down so you can smear some color on his face and eyepatch

Asra

Oh, they are thriving

This is easily one of his favorite events of the year. This gets more planning and preparation time than ... most things, really

They insist on making (or at least, modifying) all of their own colors and stock up on everything from powder to paste to dyes they can mix with water and spray at passersby with a water gun

Some of them he enchants to be holographic. Others, to hover menacingly in the air and then engulf whoever walks close enough

It's one of the few times when all the kids in the neighborhood flock to them because they know that nobody will kit them out for a proper water fight like they will. It's on

His hair is going to have colors lingering in it for over a month

The magic use does get just a little bit out of control, sometimes - they've been politely asked to stay away from the town square, since the statues still occasionally puke neon rainbows

Will put a spell on you that morning so nothing can stain you

Nadia

Does she enjoy and look forward to this festival? Yes. Is she stressed beyond words? Also yes. She needs a break

The sheer logistics of organizing a national holiday aside, Holi is messy. The streets are full of people, traffic is impossible for the day, injuries are spiking from partying too hard, and the cleanup

Don't get her started on the cleanup

Vesuvia has plenty of white marble statues and fountains that end up coated in the rainbow every year (though it's gotten easier since a certain magician was banned from the town square)

Not to mention the series of legal cases afterwards when some merchant passing through sells a load of poor quality colors

That won't stop her from enjoying it with you. She'll set up the garden and spend an afternoon chasing you around with her palms covered in color, darting out to leave smudges on your cheeks

If she moves a little more slowly to ensure that she gets covered in your colors as well, then. That's for only her and the shrubs to know

Muriel

A festival so exciting and intense that crowds of people flood the streets and smear colors all over each other with abandon?

Yeah, you can count him out

The concept of celebrating color and the triumph of good over evil is delightful, but you both know that if he joins he'll suffer at best and have a full-blown panic attack at worst. Better not

He'll celebrate with you in his own way

You'll find a forest clearing, pull out all the environmentally friendly colors you've stocked up on, and goad him with rainbow fingerprints into a playful game of tag among the trees

His artistic side will make itself known, waiting for you to tire yourself out before he sits next to you and traces swirls and runes all over your arms and face with featherlight touches

Of course, this only works if you're distracted with something while he does, or else your eyes on him will make him freeze up and blush. (the shaky little smudges those cause are the best)

Portia

She adores Holi and she is Prepared

She knows all the tips and tricks to get through the day with as little misfortune as possible. Old, cheap clothes that you don't mind getting stained. Oil on your skin and hair before you go out

And of course, a mom bag stuffed to the brim, half with celebration essentials and half with mischief implements

You look tired and a little overstimulated. Here, wipe your face and hands with this damp towel and drink some water. She packed snacks - do you want a cookie or a sandwich?

You look like you could use an advantage. Here, take this dye filled water balloon and throw it at the nearest street sign - the partygoers underneath will have it in their hair for weeks

Her favorite celebration spots are right in the middle of wherever the kids are having their massive water fight. Nobody can amp up mediate one of those like she can

Will shamelessly cover your clothes in her handprints

Lucio

He loves it for the first fifteen minutes or so

A town-wide celebration that fills the streets? Heck yeah, he is all in and having the time of his life! He has permission to splash color all over random strangers? Awesome! He's going all out -

... until he starts to receive the same treatment, which means his hair is getting messy and his clothes are going to stain and there's dye all over his face and absolutely ruining his eyeliner

Yeah, he's done, and he's going to start sulking if he doesn't get a hot bath nice and soon

Mercedes and Melchior, on the other hand, are having the times of their lives. It's chaos dialed to the max and they love the chance to weave between people's legs and splash colors everywhere

Of course, they also have gorgeous long silky white fur, which gets absolutely saturated with pigments and dyes as they run wild

Bathing them afterwards is a legendary nightmare and the pastel hues linger on their backs for quite a while

[eg4mccc]

First Call, Sims 4 Infants Patch is Coming Soon!!

(graphic credit: Bonxie)

It's almost time, the Infants are Coming!! Before the patch on March 14 breaks mods and custom content in preparation for the March 16 Sims 4 Growing Together expansion pack, I thought I'd run through a few things you'll need to know about, ahead of time.

When you load up after the patch, Mods and CC are going to be disabled by EA. This is fine, we're expecting a lot of things to break, and this time, it most likely will include MCCC.

We on Deaderpool's Discord recommend taking all of your mods/cc OUT, not leaving them sitting "turned off" (disabled) in your Mods folder. There's no guarantee the game can't see them anyway, so for the cleanest test, we always say to move the files out into a folder on the Desktop. You need this "game only" benchmark to see how things are supposed to behave, or to see if what isn't working properly is a problem in the game code, itself. 

Most of the time, we would actually recommend a "mc-vanilla" test, which means to ONLY leave MCCC in your mods folder... but in the case of a Big Patch, until Deaderpool has a chance to evaluate (and hotfix) MCCC for code changes that might cause the mod to give you unexpected issues in game, "true vanilla" (mod/cc free) would be where to start testing.

By the way, if you need help getting your files organized ahead of the patch, you can find a downloadable Mods folder template here, courtesy of Shino Nox.

Without benefit of MCCC's mc_lastexception.html error file to help dig for errors, once you have your game-only test run completed, the next thing to do would be a 50/50. Make a copy of your save file, to safeguard against accidentally saving while your mods and cc are not in the game. (Don't worry, if you DO happen to save your main file this way, just come right away and ask us on Discord how to recover from it.)

One tip we've learned over the years is that you might be able to rule out entire sections of files with two basic tests: 

One test with all of your cc & no mods (except MCCC, as long as it's working properly)

One test with all of your script/game-changing mods, and none of your extra custom content. (You would need to keep all of a mod's pieces together, both ts4script and package files.)

If either test results in any kind of error, you'll need to drill down through those files with the 50/50 technique, to find what's broken.

Luth's forum posts and Scarlet's mod list are both excellent resources. You may notice I'm not linking to any specific forum post. The reason is, Luth/luthienrising starts new patch threads in the section I did link, as needed. You'll be able to spot it once she has created it.

Last month, our team on Discord celebrated our sixth anniversary of helping players.  Don't panic once the patch is live, just swing by and see us for help.  If you can't get in, because you've been banned for some reason, our appeal process is outlined here. 

Most questions you might have are probably answered in the #server-info channel. PLEASE read it, before approaching us in support. It will make everything easier, for both of us. 

Thanks for your time, and, good luck with the patch!!

[pluralthey]

is there a good place to start if we want to learn about idletry? im very interested in the story and all the bits and pieces revealed so far but i dont know if youve like, stated the basics both about the characters-in-story and how you’re releasing the comic

hi there. unfortunately, idletry became a passion project very abruptly and many details were added very quickly without regard for how long the project would take. once i did realize how large the project was, i decided that i would not even kid myself on the idea of holding in spoilers for the next 5 years, and those two factors combined make the information available very chaotic and slapdash -- somewhat intentionally.

i don't even have the comics tagged separately for easier access among the idletry content -- although, i could go back and give them a separate tag.

i can summarize the story and say that it's about a funny little talking honey badger/tasmanian devil named jessie gaylord who has for the last 10 years of her life been on heavy psychiatric medication in an attempt to mitigate a pervasive delusion that the world is a fictional story. she also has a notorious aggressive streak. these medications work primarily by leaving her so tired that she sleeps most of the time.

the story begins when her medical team has run out of typical medications to try, and they must order an older, more aggressive type of drug which is not commonly used anymore, and has a lengthier process to manufacturing and approving the drug. during this time, she is not on any medication, and she becomes more urgently fixated on convincing people that the delusion is true.

she ends up attempting to contact the writer, who is referred to as God, and she receives a response. she immediately attempts to write the story herself, and she's granted the ability to do anything within the story so long as she can write it out. (the intricacies and limitations of this power have been elaborated upon in a bunch of fragmentary posts, so i won't try to condense it here)

at the end of the first act, she kills the first writer and becomes the new God of her world. the rest of the story is about what she does after acquiring omnipotence, and it heavily features a character named fate -- or shiloh, as jessie calls her -- with whom she enters an intimate relationship.

she has a happy loving family composed of a father named adam, a mother named evelyn, and an older sister named emily. there is a later minor subplot about a cult following who worships her after she becomes God, and this cult is initially organized by an ant called samanthuel -- or samwich, as jessie calls them. these are usually the other characters i mention and i am too lazy to link them right now

the comic itself is currently being written. the script stands at around 51,000 words at the time of writing this as i work on the second act. after it's written, i will let it simmer for a few months and then write a second draft to start to relieve the story of its bloat. depending on its length at that point, i will either need to write a third draft, or i will start drawing the comic.

chances are, during the second draft, i will start to thumbnail or sketch scenes which receive little to no editing, as i know they will likely remain relatively unchanged even through multiple drafts.

the sketch strips are to tide me and an eager audience over in the meantime, but they've sort of dried up as i focus all of my attention on finishing the first draft and taking care of a puppy that was kind of just forced onto me.

i've made a couple of full-length comics before and they have taken years. it is, unfortunately, just the nature of the process. for idletry, i plan to self-publish the comic. i've never published something in print before, so that is the most daunting part for me.

the plan at the moment is to crowdfund this, but, to be frank with you, i no longer pay rent, and i care very much about having this comic as a printed book. i have no issue with paying the cost of printing out of my own pocket by the time it's done and am even anticipating that outcome ahead of time, despite having a pretty reliable audience by now.

i'm on the fence about releasing a digital book version, as i very much want to retain digital color versions of the pages that are more vibrant, but due to the explicit adult content of the story, i don't want it to be free-access.

tl;dr: it's about a lesbian incel with anger issues who's given omnipotence.

i'm still working on the story because i want it to be good.

i'm planning on printing it as a physical comic book once it's done.

[isa-beenme]

Hi! Could you please do a second chance fic for azriel? Maybe angst that ends with fluff? I’m such a softy, I enjoy angst but need a happy ending 😅

Maybe, but just MAYBE, i got carried away with this one. I SWEAR the original plan was to do something simple, but i HAD to give them a backstory, i HAD to make it into more than one scene, and I HAD to make this into this length. I hope it is what you wanted. Thank you for being the first person to send a request 🥰🥰🥰

A Little Too Not Over You

Work was probably the only word you ever knew in your life. Or at least in the first two hundred years of it. It was hard to find a way to live your life as a normal fae and work for the High Lord at the same time, but it became more bearable as time flew and you understood how to organize your schedule to fit everything in for the few hours you had for yourself.

Especially when a certain spymaster started to be part of your schedule too.

It all started with the last High Lord and the day he hired you as his assistant. So review all the papers, fill in the requests, organize parties and all of that falls right into your back. It wasn't a problem tho, you were young and smart and wanted to please your High Lord as much as you could. You wanted to be useful.

It wasn't long until you met his personal spy, Azriel. You two formed what your boss said was his best team. Not in a good way at all, but both of you took it into your heart and worked through it. Once you met him, you started to work with him as well, resuming his travels for the High Lord, organizing his schedule for the next missions, and sometimes even helping him with his after-mission bruises or feeding him when he forgot to eat.

It was probably this that made you decide your life wasn't supposed to be all about work, you could add a new word to your vocabulary: love. It was easy to love Azriel, it was easy to fit him into your life and to fit yourself into his.

Behind the facets of the High Lord's most trusted duo were the hearts of two young faes who just discovered what happiness was.

That was, until it wasn't easy anymore.

The High Lord was dead. Rhysand took the power. You gained a new job in the library. Azriel too, but as the trusted spymaster of the Night Court. He was part of the inner circle. He was part of something bigger, something greater. You weren't.

You couldn't say Rhysand treated you badly, of course he didn't. But he had more people that he trusted over you. And apparently Azriel too.

You first had to watch him get away from you. Slowly but undeniably he was a fading presence in your life now. You had more time, he had more work. Suddenly he stopped asking you to help him with his schedule. Then he stopped going to your house every time he came from a mission for you to cover his bruises with kisses or just shower him with love. One day he simply stopped coming.

You considered going up to the House to see if everything was alright many times but brushed off the possibility quickly. On the day you finally gathered the courage to climb your way up to the House after a light day of work you finally discovered the reason why Azriel disappeared from your life. She had a great figure, a melodic voice, blond hair, and the most beautiful name you ever heard: Morrigan.

She was the High Lord's cousin, third in command, and member of the Inner Circle. Of course. She was better, smarter, and prettier. Everything you were supposed to be in this new court, the assistant and advisor you always worked hard to be but in a more beautiful face. You couldn't hate her, even if you tried. Maybe the grief of losing Azriel could've been easier if she wasn't so easy to love. You actually understood him.

It all happened almost five hundred years ago, and your thoughts still lingered in the shadows of your last lover. Your job in the library stayed the same, cataloging and organizing everything. It was a job you learned to love. It was easy, it was calm. Everything your life wasn't supposed to be.

Taking every girl that came into the library as a priestess into your wings and taking care of them was just a natural thing. Especially when they were as in need of a family as you.

- OH, here you are! I was looking for you - A ghost of orange hair flew into your vision faster than you could process who exactly it was.

- Gwyneth Berdara, should I be worried you did something bad again or you're finally here to give me some good gossip? - You asked once you finally understood who was standing in front of you, looking like a child that hides something from their mother.

- It'll depend on your answer - You quirked an eyebrow at that.

- Yeah? How so? - She giggled before handing a paper out to you.

- You know about the training I do with the Valkyries right? - you looked at her confused - So, I know that I already asked you to come to train with us a million times and a million times you denied but, hear me out, it's my birthday tomorrow and I can't imagine my birthday party without you in it.

- I know that and I hope you know I participated in your last twenty birthday parties. In the library - You said looking directly at her, seeing her face fall a little bit.

- Yes… but the thing is… this year it's gonna be up there. In the training area - You looked at her with concern. The memories of the days you spent in that training space flooding your brain - I know you don't like to go there, but please? Just this once? You don't even need to participate in the party, just… I don't know, stay at the side, watch and wait for the cake. Then you can get back down and never go there again. Please?

You looked at the paper she handed you, your name beautifully written on the card with golden paint, everything decorated with flowers and sparkles. Maybe it was time to finally face your fear of being neglected again. The girl in front of you and a hundred others that went through your life taught you that you were worth it. Even if the new High Lord didn't see that. Even if Azriel forgot that.

I raised you, Gwyn, and I'm still shocked with the things you can convince me to do - The female laughs and throws herself at you in pure happiness while murmuring lots of "thank you".

There was one thing you knew was even more worthy in this life than love: the smile you could bring into people's faces.

----------------

Maybe it was a terrible idea after all. Maybe you could still go back to the library you've grown so accustomed to and never get out again. Maybe Gwyneth won't even miss you with the amount of people filling the training area, if you could sneak out and fake a sudden flu she won't even notice. Yes, that was the perfect idea.

The amount of people surrounding the place made you feel suffocated, every reason for all of the hard times you went through in your life united in a day it was supposed to be a happy one. Rhysand, the High Lord who took your job away. Morrigan, who made you lose your lover. Even the goddamned Elain Archeron had to be there. Between gossips and rumors it got to your hearing, the one about the spymaster finally getting over The Morrigan only to fall in love with the middle Archeron sister wasn’t the one that would escape from you.

You were ready to turn up on your heel until a body crashed right into the person rushing to take the gift box that fell to the ground. You bent down too, trying to help fix the mess you made. One more reason to never leave the library again.

I'm so sorry, it's been so long since the last time I went out that I think I lost all of my capabilities of interacting with others and-

- It's you.

- I'm sorry? - You raise your head only to meet the golden eyes of your ex-lover, the ones you swore to never look at again and yet were burned into the depths of your mind. And he was looking straight at you - It's me - You flash him a quick smile before getting up and running back to the stairs you just climbed.

- WAIT! - You heard his voice calling you from a distance but you couldn't stop. The tears started to form in your eyes again and you thought of laughing right there and then. Five hundred years and he still affected you more than you could give yourself to believe.

You were close to the door until it opened in a flash and it hit your nose so hard that you instantly felt the blood start to drip from the area it was hit. You should probably feel thankful to however priestess opened the door and gave you an excuse for the tears that started to shed at the moment. Obviously because of the pain. You just pathetically sat there and let the tears run down your face, trying to make the blood stop running down your nose. It was all too much for a day.

- By the Cauldron, what happened here? - You heard Gwyn’s voice in a hurry.

- It’s okay, I was just trying to back because I don’t feel well and then someone opened the door when I was in front of it. It’s not much, I dealt with worse - I said finally getting up, realizing a good number of eyes were on me - I just need to go back to my house and it’ll heal-

- Definitely not, I’m taking you to the healing quarters and we’ll make sure it’s not broken - Azriel’s voice came from behind you, his hand already taking your arm to fly you wherever the healing quarters were.

- No! Really, it’s not necessary, I probably would feel if my nose was broken and guess what? I’m not feeling it. But thank you for your concern - As you were ready to turn back to the door you felt a hand wrapping around your wrist and panic flew right through you.

- You seem euphoric, Azriel will take you to the infirmary, even if just to give you tea or something to stop the bleeding - You knew why the High Lord said that, knew about the bond he shared with his two so said friends, gods be damned, you helped find the enchantment to create that bond. It was very clear by the look the shadowsinger was giving him that he was pleading for a moment alone with you - Where are you from? Never saw you around here.

- What do you mean? I've been working in the library since your father died. You sent a letter saying I should work here.

- WHAT? - Azriel's voice came in a shout, a good part of the group that formed around you decided to finally disperse back into the party.

- You guys... don't… know? - Your eyes going through the spymaster to the High Lord while they talked mind to mind.

- Let me take you to the healing quarters, we'll talk more there - You finally accepted the hand he extended to you, being instantly winnowed to a different room.

You watch as he start to search for something in the various cabinets, rushing over pots and flasks until he found what he was looking.

- Azriel? - His back is turned to me when his shoulders start to shake.

- I thought you were dead - It's the first thing he said before turning back to you, his eyes red and filled with tears.

- What do you mean dead? And why doesn't Rhysand know I work for him? It's been five hundred years, how could he not know who I am? - The words flashed out of your mouth as easily as they used to do. As easy as it used to be with him.

- I helped Rhys' father to find another court for you to work in for when he died. Everything was a mess and you didn't knew if you would still work here, and I knew you weren't, I helped Rhysand's father find a house and a job and everything else there. When Rhysand solved everything out and sent his father's last letters I went to search for you in the Winter Court, where you were supposed to be and you weren't there - His eyes traveled through all your face, taking you in as much as you used to do after all of his missions - I searched for you everywhere, in every court. I thought you were dead.

- I was here the whole time - You felt his scarred hand hold your face as he tilted your chin so he could work easily, applying something in your nose to stop the blood from flooding even more - I received a letter signed by the High Lord putting me to work in the library and after some years I received another one saying it was now my job to help the other girls set in.

- No, that job was supposed to go to the headmaster of the library - He said when pulling a cup of tea from the side table, a cup you didn’t even see appearing.

- Yes, me. I am the headmaster of the library. How could any of you know this? - His eyes started searching for any kind of lie in you and then he looked at you apologizing for this, but you didn't feel offended. You knew him.

- Your name it's not in the records. The headmaster of the library it's named Iris - Your head snaps up at him, shock filling every fiber of your body as everything starts to make sense in your head. You let go of the cup of tea still full of the hot beverage as the tears start to finally run down freely on your face. You feel Azriel’s hand hold your face to him as his expression starts to express panic. And oh, gods, how you missed his hands - What happened, is something aching?

- It's part of the Project Flora - You shake your head and incline your face to lie down on his hand, feeling his fingers start to caress your cheek - He knew his death would come from the Spring's fucker, and we planned how to send every person that worked for him away so that no one could try and get information from them. The idea was to basically make all of them disappear without knowing they would be disappearing so that they wouldn't smell of fear every time anyone looks for them. I didn't know I was being included in that too, which is the whole idea, not knowing you went missing. I should've known, by the Mother - Your tears start to flow again and Azriel’s body crashes against yours in the tightest hug you felt in years. Everything in him seemed perfect for you, his smell, his body, his thoughts. He was as perfect for you as you were for him.

- I'm sorry I didn't search enough. You were living right under me and I never thought - He takes a deep breath, taking you into his arms again and finally feeling that sensation of home he so longed for.

- It's not your fault. It's kinda mine, actually - He goes back a little to look at your face asking for answers - It was my idea to also make a sort of spell and make everyone undetectable. Weird how my brain is so smart isn't it? - His laughter fills the room and he takes your face into his hands again. You really missed his laugh.

- I missed you so much, you have no idea - He whispered as his face got down into yours and touched your nose with his.

- I may have an idea because I felt the exact same - He smiled at you again, finally understanding that yes, you were there, you were both together and united again. The nostalgia hitting in every tear that slided in both of your faces.

- What about that, honey pot? What are your feelings about a date now? - His question made you smile so hard your cheeks hurt.

- What about Gwyn’s birthday party? - He looks around as if searching for someone.

- She makes birthdays every year. I don't re-encounter the love of my life every day - He whispered as a secret in your ear.

- So am I the love of life?

- No one else could be - His face approached yours again.

- Not Morrigan? - You ask in a sudden - Or Elain?

- What kind of gossip have you heard in that library? - He kisses you once, fast and curious as to test you out - So, what do you say about our date? Want to run away with me now?

- Maybe, if you don't call me honey pot ever again - He laughs and throws his head back.

- Deal. I can think of something better - He fully kisses you. His lips crashed into yours and your hands flew to his head to grip those dark soft locks of his, desperate for any kind of touch you could get from him

- I may be a little too not over you, Azriel Shadowsinger - You say as you both finally get away from each other to get air back into your lungs.

- I may be a little too not over you too, dearest love of my life - As you heard him addressing you the same way he used to write for you in the letters, nothing was rest to do as you kissed him again, pouring all the love and joy you kept inside of your heart for him for over five hundred years.

You both had so much yet to talk about, but any conversation could wait a little bit more. You both waited five hundred years to finally find each other again, words had no place in that happiness bubble. And suddenly, everything seemed easy again

[rogerswifesblog]

Getting to know you

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: During one of Starks famous party’s you and Steve…get to know each other better.

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Steve Rogers x Reader

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: alcohol, drinking game [ truth or dare], smut, technically dub-con since both of them are drunk, dirty talk, slight Captain kink, fingering, oral ( F ), unprotected sex (don’t be silly wrap your willy ), hangovers

Please let me know if I need to add something.

It’s my first English smut one-shot. I hope you’ll like it, let me know!<3

Please be aware, English is not my first language, I can’t guarantee there are no mistakes.

!18+!

A horrible headache woke you up. Your head felt like it was about to explode. Growling, You buried your face in your pillow.

It smelled so nice...

Somehow better and different than usual?

It smelled like....man?!

Startled, You opened your eyes and looked directly into the sleeping face of none other than Captain America himself.

You drew your breath sharply in.

Then it occurred to you-did the two of you-? You quickly looked under the covers-You were naked. Oh holy....

How did this happen? You were barely talking the last few months and suddenly You wake up in his bed?

Stupid alcohol.

Yesterday there was a party that Stark had organized. Normally You didn't go to these, but yesterday You had decided otherwise.

For years You were a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and now also an Avenger. Well, technically only for a month, but still. At this party You wanted to meet the Avengers, get to know them more-but waking up with Captain America was not on your mind, when You said You wanted to get to know them.

Slowly, You turned on your back and tried to recall last night, even though it would probably make your headache worse.

•••

Nervously You entered the room. The party had been going on for at least two hours.

It's a funny habit of you to show up later at parties; many people were already drunk and it wasn't so tense anymore. So it was better to be a bit late.

"Hi, you look great," Natasha said as she came up to you. You had been friends for a really long time-if she hadn't talked you into coming here today, You wouldn't have come. "Thanks, so do you, Natasha." You gave her a friendly smile, even though it was slightly forced and probably looked like you were stressed.

You latched onto her arm and walked with her to the bar. It would be easier after a few shots.

"Tequila?", asked the redhead. "You know damn well that never ends well," You laughed out, after which You nodded anyway. You were right. It had not been a good idea to choose tequila.

Suddenly the loud laughter of Thor interrupted our conversation- Thor was nice and You liked spending time with him. When You looked at him, You realized that he was certainly drunk. The alcohol he always brought with him was really strong. At least that's what Natasha told you. It was apparently something for gods. You never really attended these kind of Stark-Party’s before, so it was the first time you could really see it.

Now You saw it with your own eyes. This alcohol was definitely stronger than anything for a normal human.

"Just look at those idiots. Finally I won't be the only woman on this team," Natasha laughed next to you . Grinning, you shook your head slightly. "This is going to be an interesting evening," You mused as You looked around at the guests-well, your gaze lingered on Steve.

You had to admit that You liked him for some time now. That's also why You kind of avoided him as much as possible. Whenever you got into a conversation, You started stuttering, blushing, and- in short, making a fool out of yourself.

It was just embarrassing.

"Lady Y/N! Come join us!", Thor snapped you out of your thoughts. Quickly you finished your glass, refilled it, and joined the others. Natasha was already sitting there drinking a beer. Since when did she had a beer? You sat down next to Natasha, she winked cheekily at you. Immediately your lips twitched upwards. Tonight would be a great evening. You were sure of it.

An hour later, some people had already left; Bruce wasn't feeling well and decided to go to bed, Clint was so drunk that he had also gone to his room. Maria already went home-as had many others. You didn't feel too sober anymore either. This was certainly noticed by the others; You laughed more, louder, spoke more openly, joked...And you also flirted. You werde definitely drunk. But I felt really good. Kind of made you more confident.

"You know what-now would be a game pretty funny-like truth or dare," Tony spoke to himself. Or us. You couldn’t really tell, since he was looking at the ceiling. "Kind of like how it used to be during the school days...lots of drinking, gambling, beautiful women," he continued to speak with a glance at Natasha and you. Your cheeks turned slightly red, which is why You lowered your head.

You felt someone sit down next to you. Automatically you looked up-just to meet Steve’s beautiful blue eyes. “Hello Captain”, you said with a slight smirk. The soldier smiled and leaned a bit closer to you. You could feel your heart beat faster. “Don’t listen to Tony. He’s completely drunk…even though he’s definitely right. Beautiful women. You look great, Y/N”, said the solider with a bright smile. This compliment made your cheeks redden.

At some point, you all did start playing the stupid kids game. But you did it a little differently-with an app, since neither of you would be creative enough to come up with good tasks. So we ended up with Tony having to pour a drink into his pants, Thor having to tell us when he last had sex, Natasha having to drink two shots, and so on.

"Y/N, this next one is to you-truth or dare?" read Tony, barely comprehensible. "Dare." Your drunken self certainly wasn't scared and shy anymore.

"Well, sit down onto the lap of the person on your left." You looked at Steve, puzzled, since he was on your left. For a moment he just closed his eyes and sighed. He knew he wouldn’t live this one down-Tony would probably make fun of him for weeks. “Yes, it’s fine. Come here”, said Steve with a friendly smile.

Slowly You sat down on his lap. Briefly, you slid around a bit to find a comfortable position-just then he grabbed your hips and squeezed them slightly. You could feel how you clenched around nothing. "You better stop that, sweetheart. I'm very….sensitive..." grumbled Steve in your ear, which made you hold your breath for a second. No one but you could hear this. And it made your heart jump.

With red cheeks, You looked at him for a moment. Without saying anything, You nodded quickly and remained sitting quietly and without moving much more.

"Ah how wonderful, Capsicle. This is probably the only time you'll ever get this close to such a beautiful woman," Tony slurred, causing Steve to sigh in annoyance. That’s exactly what he imagined would happen.

You in return merely chuckled and leaned into his chest a bit. Steve kept his hands on my hips. He gently stroked them with his fingertips. Sometimes you could swear he also squeezed them.

Pretty soon after that Thor fell asleep on the sofa-Natasha was gone after she said she was going to get a drink and never coming back-probably she also went to sleep-Tony was taken away by Pepper and so everyone slowly walked to their rooms.

It was just Steve and you left.

Your head was in the crook of his neck while his hand had slipped from my hip to my thigh. He stroked it gently. You felt bad for having so many different and definitely not innocent thoughts about how this situation could turn out. One thing was clear-it was driving you crazy. You felt everything inside you tingling-but especially between your legs.

"We should get going...", You heard Steve's husky voice against your ear. Immediately you got goosebumps. It felt nice to have him so close to you.

"Mhmm....It's so comfortable though...", You whispered chuckling quietly, lifting your head a little so You could look at him.

Steve's look was different. Darker.

The two of you stayed that close for some time. Eyes closed, just cuddling. "Or we could have another drink....," Steve murmured, which made you grin. You nodded immediately and turned slightly in his lap so you could grab your glass from the table.

As You slid back Steve made a noise that resembled a moan. "Oh sorry if I hurt you," You apologized and looked up at him. He didn't look like he was hurting though. Rather the opposite. Like he…enjoyed whatever just happened.

"It's okay, it's okay." He quickly grabbed the drink and took several big gulps of it. The smell of it was so strong that just the thought of drinking it disgusted me, but I knew that only this alcohols had an effect on him.

You also drank a few big gulps of your drink. You hesitated briefly before You changed your position, so you could wrap your legs around him-torso to torso. His one hand slid from your hip to your waist-the other remained on your thigh. His thumb kept stroking your bare skin. Again and again over the inner side of your thigh. This touching was driving you crazy. You could feel how you clenched around nothing. You slowly slid a little closer to him. Apparently he was feeling the same thing, because there was a hard bulge in his pants.

"Steve...", You breathed out. "Hmmm," Steve pulled you a little closer. Teasingly You bit your lower lip and stroked with your hand along his chest. "Ah fuck it." With those words, You grabbed his shirt and pulled him against you. Without a second thought you presst your lips to his. Yet you pulled away quickly. It made Steve whine quietly.

"Sorry I-" Immediately You were interrupted by Steve lips on yours-he kissed you. Steve Rogers was kissing you…and he was a Great kisser. He slipped his tongue in my mouth, what caused me to moan faintly.

Within a few minutes the kisses became more demanding and passionate. It started to because more teeth and tongue. Your whole body felt on fire. A soft gasp escaped your lips, when Steve's hand slowly stroked under your dress and stopped at your underwear. Teasingly he stroked over your slip. Your slip was wet, which made Steve grin. His thumb slid over your sensitive bud. A surprised gasp escaped your lips, when you felt him massaging your clit-before it disappeared. But just for a moment. In the next second you could feel his hand sliding under your slip. Again he started to rub your sensitive parts. You gasped-which sounded more like moan, losing yourself in his touch.

Slowly, Steve bent over you so that you were lying on the couch; him above you, between your legs. This position caused your dress to slide up higher, which made Steve look at your underwear. Thank god you actually thought about putting on something sexy-even if it wasn’t your plan to get laid tonight. You were not complaining. His hand slid out from your slip, just so he could grab your ass. Captain America must have had a weakness for-

A low moan interrupted your thoughts when Steve pressed his hips against your. Grinding against you. Fuck, I really needed him. Inside me.

"S-Steve...", You whimpered softly against his lips. Immediately, he pulled away and looked at you. He was totally out of breath. You let your gaze linger on his face.

He looked so beautiful.

Disheveled hair, reddened and somewhat swollen lips from kissing, pupils wide. His shirt was by now partially unbuttoned and pulled out of his pants. Your lipstick on his lips and neck smeared.

"If you want us to stop, I can stop, we don’t have to-," You quickly interrupted him by pressing your lips to his. The kiss did not last too long, because You quickly started kissing his neck afterwards.

Again You felt him roll his hips slightly against you, making both of you gasp.

You ran one hand over his crotch and rubbed his dick over his pants, causing him to moan softly. Teasingly you let your hand slid over his waistband and again to his dick-still over his pants. God you really wanted to have this dick in you. He felt big. Like really big.

"Steve...we can't do it here," You breathed as his hand slowly slid to again your crotch-exactly where you wanted it. Yet, you stopped his hand, staying in the living room was too risky; someone might catch you-plus Thor was asleep on one of the couches. So you definitely didn't want to continue here with him in the same room.

Slowly, Steve nodded. "Yeah...yeah, you're right," he mumbled, putting his arms around you, so he could carry you. He stood up-automatically You wrapped my legs around him, pressing yourself tightly against him. Again your lips met in a passionate and demanding kiss.

On the way to the elevator you bumped into a few things; the dresser, on which a vase stood-well, not anymore-, the armchair. Steve stumbled over the carpet, which made you giggle softly. He couldn't hold back his grin either, but you made it into the elevator unharmed. Somehow.

Immediately he pushed you against the wall. His body trapped yous between him and the wall. You felt so small in contrast to him. He was so…big. So much bigger than you. His biceps was probably the size of your head.

He frantically pressed the button of the floor on which his room was, which made you grin again. "That impatient, Captain?", You breathed cheekily in his ear. Gently, You nibbled at his earlobe, which made him growl with pleasure. A moan escaped his lips.

You could listen to that sound every day.

His hand finally slid to the place where You wanted him the most. When he stroked over your panties along You could not hold back the quiet whimper anymore. You couldn’t any longer. Steve teased your sensitive bud with a few strokes, before he took his hand away-again. "Already so wet...all for me. And your tellin’ me I'm the impatient one," the Captain teased you. Your cheeks turned red. He was right, You were impatient. You couldnt wait to feel him stretch you out. Feel his dick fill your tight pussy.

"That's what I like about you..." he suddenly whispered, gently stroking your cheekbone with his nose. On this he gave you a gentle kiss.

Before You could answer, the elevator door opened. Again Steve grabbed you a little tighter in his arms and walked towards his room. He pressed his lips to your neck, kissing it. Automatically your body pressed against his lips while your hands tampered with his shirt.

As soon as you entered his room, he laid you down on the bed. On the way to the bed he had already lost his shoes somewhere in the room. Your heels had also fallen off at some point. Steve slowly pulled up your dress, your hands roamed over his massive arm. Wow, you were right, his biceps were huge. For a moment you thought about it if you could ask him to choke you with these. His shirt quickly found its place on the floor. It was the first time You saw him without a shirt-damn, and he looked really good. Better than that. He resembled a Greek god more than a normal human being.

You moaned softly as he kissed a sensitive spot on your neck and sucked on it very gently. These open, passionate kisses drove you crazy. You wondered what else he could do with his mouth....

While Steve took off your dress, You sat up a little to make it easier for him.

Your hands were working on his belt in the meantime - You opened it very quickly. Also the button and zipper of his pants. Steve was hard. You could already see the huge bulge.

When You laid down again, Steve pushed your legs a little further apart so he could lie between them. Oh thank god, it’s happening. His kisses traveled from your neck to your cleavage and over my breasts, which were clad only in thin fabric. With his thumb he teased one of your hard nipples. "I'll buy you a new one, I promise," Steve spoke quickly against your skin. Confused, You were about to ask him what he meant when he suddenly gripped the bra tightly in one hand and ripped it off your body. Startled, You drew in your breath sharply, a moan escaping your lips at the same time. You immediately felt your heartbeat quicken and felt a throbbing between your legs- did this really turned you on so much?

You felt Steve grin against your chest. He didn't say anything, but You knew for sure that he had noticed how this affected you.

As he kissed your body, You buried one of your hands in his hair, which was already completely disheveled either way.

When his lips reached your abdomen, he looked up at you briefly. In his gaze You recognized the same thing You had just seen. You nodded slightly and in the very next moment he grabbed the hem of your panties and ripped them off your hips. Fuck. Once again you felt your pussy clench.

The cool air hit your throbbing pussy and made you gasp in surprise. With that you heard a rough laugh from Steve. "Steve please...", You whispered. "What exactly?" he breathed back teasingly. "Please touch me. I can't take it anymore," You whimpered, to which he immediately responded. He buried his head between your legs and put his lips around your sensitive clit. You sighed in pleasure while he let his tongue glide over your pussy.

His tongue slid between your folds and back to your clit. He let a moan out while he buried his tongue once again between your folds and licked into you. The taste of you made him want more. He could stay here forever. Between your legs just eating you out. “Fuck Steve-“, You moaned when you felt him suck at your bud.

You couldn’t think about anything else anymore. It was just him. And what he was doing. You wanted more from him. You wanted him to fill you. "Please...Captain...", You moaned as he let one of his fingers slid into you. "Patience, love..."

Without looking at him You felt his grin against your skin.

This was how he continued to tease you. With the stimulation on your sensitive bud and the way he kept hitting that special spot with his finger that You could never find, You felt getting closer to your orgasm. Your body began to tremble-but just then he stopped his movements. "Don't stop," You immediately whined. "Please don't stop, Captain..." how could he do that?! You had been so, so close.

"Shsh not yet, in a minute," he breathed against your pussy, making you wince slightly. Slowly-really slowly-he added a second finger, making you moan with pleasure. "You're so tight...I want to feel you so bad" "I'm not stopping you from that," You quipped, for which You received a light slap on my thigh. Surprised , You gripped his hair tighter and gasped. It actually was nice. The slight sting on your skin made everything more pleasurable.

When he started licking and suckling on your clit and sped up his hand movement, a breathless moan escaped your lips. "Oh God please, Steve...Ca-captain-don't stop," You tried to say at least one sensible sentence as You felt your orgasm washing over you. It happened so quickly You didn’t had time to tell Him you were close. Steve gasped softly as your walls tightened pulsatingly around his fingers. He moved his fingers and sucked on your clit, not stopping your first orgasm, making you tremble even more. This made your orgasm even better. Even though you couldn’t really keep still. It was just…so much.

Then he came up to you again. A hungry look in his eyes.

Immediately You pulled him into an open mouth kiss. You could taste yourself on his lips. It made you moan in the kiss. "Steve," his name escaped you softly as he took his fingers out of you. "Open Your pretty mouth", he just murmured as he held his fingers to your lips. Without hesitation, You opened your mouth for him and he slipped his massive fingers between your lips.

You moaned while you started to suck at his fingers, like you would do to his cock. This made Steve bit his lower lip. “Fuck sweetheart. You have no idea how much I want to feel that mouth on my cock. Such a pretty thing”, he whispered. You didn’t expected him to have such a filthy mouth. It was really surprising-and Steve seemed to notice this, because he started to grin slightly. “There's a lot about me you don't know…not yet" he breathed against your ear, which made your heartbeat quicken.

Steve widened your legs even more by laying down between them. He kept his fingers in your mouth, which at least muffled your moans as he let his top slid between my folds. You were sure it wouldn’t fit-he looked massive compared to your tight hole-and Yet he slowly started to push in. Inch by inch. He stretched you so much, it burned slightly. But it was a good burn. He was the biggest You ever had. He also probably ruined all other men for you.

Damn, he was really big... You closed your eyes in pleasure, when felt him slide over your spot. Just then steve took his hand from your mouth and gripped your jaw, causing You to open your eyes again. "That's a good girl...I want you to look at me when I fuck you," he growled against your lips. "Yes, Captain," You whispered. When he started to move, You gasped. He hit every spot in you, that you could think of. It was hard to keep your eyes open, but You tried.

But as his thrusts got harder it happened again. You closed your eyes-for which he slapped your thigh. A loud moan escaped your lips. You’ve never felt so good. Steve knew how to make you crazy. His cock was hitting your G-spot with every thrust. You couldn’t keep your eyes open.

This happened a few times and as You kept closing your eyes, he slapped your thighs. Every time his flat hand landet on your skin, he could feel you tighten around him. It made him do it harder. He knew you were close. Very close. He could feel you squeeze him. It made him pound in your harder. Hard enough that the headboard started to hit the wall.

"Ste-Cap-Captain-I," before You could finish speaking your next orgasm overtook you-more intense than the first one. Your whole body shook violently while you cried out in pleasure. You could feel your juices gush out around Steve cock. The sound your body’s made were straight out of a porno. Steve moaned into the crook of your neck as he felt you squeezing him so much, he nearly couldn’t move. "You feel so good...shit. So tight. You were made for me, baby”, he mumbled while his thrusts became even harder. You would definitely feel him for days.

Once again Steve started to rub on your clit. It was painful and pleasurable-you didn’t know which one more. Even though you didn’t know it was possible, you could tell you’d come again. But you wanted Steve to come too. In you. You wanted feeling him fill you with his warm cum.

"Cum for me, Captain. Please-fill me," You moaned into his ear, which made him burry his head in the crook of your neck. His hand motion sped up. As soon as your climax hit you, you screamed out in pleasure. Everything in you tensed up. All your muscles. Never in your whole life have you had an orgasm like that. Moaning you bit lightly steves shoulder. Steve felt his balls tighten. He was close. Within a few more thrust his orgasm overcome him. He buried himself as deep in you as possible. You could feel him filling you with his seed, painting your walls with his warm cum. It made you moan once again. Your walls continued to squeeze around him, milking him.

Slowly and also very gently he let himself fall on top of you. His head was in the crook of your neck as he gently wrapped his arms around you. "Please stay like this...", You whispered barely audibly as You wrapped your arms and legst around him in. “Yeah, okay”, he whispered against your skin. You were both exhausted.

Silence. A comfortable silence. Just your heavy breathing.

Your legs were still trembling, so Steve gently started stroking them. He reached for tissues that were on his nightstand. That movement alone made you whimper. Everything in you was overstimulated.

Carefully he pulled out, wiping the seed away, that came out after he moved. "It’s so much" You mumbled as You felt it once again float out, which made him laugh barely audibly, as he wiped his seed of from my skin. His cheeks were slightly flushed and he looked...embarrassed. There was the golden boy again.

Steve laid down next to You and covered you both with a blanked. Immediately, You began to smile ever so slightly. You were tired. Exhausted even. You had a hard time keeping your eyes open. "Good night, love," Steve whispered as he put his arms around You and placed a kiss on the top of your head. "Night," You grumbled before falling asleep.

•••

Steve's growl snapped you out of your thoughts. Immediately You looked at him-he was awake. He ran his hand over his temple as he slowly rolled over onto his back. He still had his eyes closed, so he didn't notice you. You weren’t sure if he remembered yesterday. Immediately You started to feel bad. What if he regretted it?

When You turned on your side, his head immediately snapped to you. Surprised and also very sleepy. How cute he looked like that. Immediately his cheeks turned a little red as he smiled shyly. "Hey...", he whispered. "Good morning, Steve," You breathed softly as heat shot up to your cheeks as well. "Slept well?" At your question, he nodded slowly and turned to the side to face you. Carefully, he placed his hand over mine. He squeezed a little. You could tell her was nervous. “Do you…remember?”, he asked. You nodded, without saying anything. “Okay, good…I do too…do you…do you regret the night?”, this time you shook your head. Steve smiled immediately-this made you smile too.

"This is weird now but...would you like to have dinner with me sometime? Just the two of us...I should have asked you that before-before" He gestured with his hand between the two of you. "-but I hope you’d still go out with me? Like…a date?", Steve spoke a bit flustered.

“Yes, Steve, I’d love to.”

That’s it! I really hope you enjoyed reading! Please let me know:)

You can tell me if something is wrong or what i should change<3 I’d be glad actually.

It’s the first time i wrote something in English so I’m pretty sure it’s not the best. I would love to improve my writing 🥰

[nanowrimo]

4 Ways To Cure Writer’s Block

Every year, we’re lucky to have great sponsors for our nonprofit events. NovelPad, a 2023 NaNoWriMo sponsor, is a novel drafting software designed to make it easy for writers to write. Today, they're sharing a few tips to help you beat writer's block:

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Top photo by Richard Dykes on Unsplash.

[gffa]

hiya! long time listener, first time caller-- I'm writing a couple fics with Jedi protagonists (Shaak Ti, Mace, other Prequel Jedi) which is really fun so far except for the part where I "majored in" (read: hyperfixated on) Organization and Tactics of the GAR and don't actually know that much about the Jedi as individuals, *especially* anything that happened before TPM.

I was wondering if you know of any resources that organize/compile information about that era of Jedi? Things like lineage lists, who was on the Council when, typical schedules/roles/responsibilities, that kinda thing. Resources can be any format; other Tumblr blogs, articles, images, discord servers, archived websites, whatever works! Even the obvious stuff can be helpful (outside of Wookiepedia), since this isn't a part of fandom I've walked through much. You're the only big-name Jedi blog I know.

(If you don't have the spoons to respond, I understand, thanks for reading anyway!)

Hi! Congrats on writing your fic, I'm wishing you all the luck in the world! And here's where my brain starts spinning in a bunch of different directions, because here's the sticky thing about Star Wars "lore": there are three separate continuities and, while you are absolutely free to mix and match as you like and should pick out all the things that interest you, no matter the continuity, they do still exist in separate realms. You have Lucas' Star Wars, you have Legends Star Wars (the Extended Universe/EU under Lucas' ownership of SW, but he has explicitly said it's a separate world from his Star Wars), and you have Disney Star Wars. There is worldbuilding in each of them (though, often very thin on the ground at times) but what's true in one isn't going to be true in another--for example, in Legends there was an age cut off for Jedi initiates at 13, if they didn't get a Master. This limit does not exist at all in Lucas' SW (is contradicted by Ahsoka at 14 being said to be YOUNG for being a Padawan) and Disney Star Wars (there's an Initiate who is 16 and doesn't have a Master and will have to wait at least another year to try again, with no hint of them aging out). You pick which works for you! Just that I think it helps to be aware of what bits come from which continuity. There's also not a ton of pre-TPM content, at least not after The High Republic! Though, I've found THR stuff generally pretty helpful for prequel-era Jedi stuff, because they act and behave 98% of the same way imo! THAT SAID, I tend to collate as much of the Lucas continuity and Disney continuity (as they're the ones I generally prefer) and I have a bunch of resources if you don't mind some homework reading! 😂 I did at least make it as easy to browse as I can, though! - Jedi Culture and Teachings in Canon - A mix of Lucas and Disney content mostly, organized by sections for hopefully easier browsing for what you're looking for! Because 75k words of citations is a lot. orz This is going to give you probably the most of what you want, because I have been working to collect all of that kind of stuff--descriptions of the Temple and personal quarters, any rituals they have, how a Jedi's day is structured, what different paths and roles are common with Jedi, all the Jedi philosophy, what kind of pets they have, etc. It's in three (so far) parts, so you'll have to browse through each of them, but the set-up is the same in each one, so if you find a section that you need the info on, just Ctrl+F to find it in the next part or skip to the same chapter, they're the same template for each! - My "reference" tag - Which is a mixed bag of various posts and different continuities (primarily Lucas + Disney, though) that organize this kind of thing, like a possible in-universe calendar system [also here], a collection of worldbuilding bits specific to Padawan, which was pre-TPM, crossection of the Jedi Temple, a Jedi Council seating arrangement chart through the years, a list of the handful of Master&Apprentice match-ups that we know, a list of "what kind of swearing do people of the galaxy do?" because it's hilarious, a compilation of everything I could find about Jedi healers in ANY continuity, etc. I hope this helps and if you have any other questions (or anyone else wants to suggest other resources!), feel free to ask, I might be able to better steer you if you have a specific question--or at least tell you that I don't think we have anything on that. AND ALSO just remember: the books and games and comics are pretty low on the "hard canon" level, the movies and the TV shows are the highest level of canon, everything else is supplementary and you do NOT have to scour every inch of it if you don't want to! Relax and have fun with it as best you can. <3