Tumgik
#i needed to get these things out of my chest and if anyone identifies with something or isn't feeling well right now you're not alone ok?đŸ«‚
inquebrar · 7 months
Text
QSMP was one of the projects that had one of the biggest personal impacts on me. since i was younger, i have always been fascinated by getting to know different cultures and learning new languages ​​has always been something that captivated me. although for years i have "been part" of many fandoms and followed different projects, series, groups and things like that for years sometimes, but i just had my interests without having no one to talk with and share it. so this was the first time that i really participated actively and was so engaged in the "fandoms" i'm part of, to talk about it, share my theories and analyzes and stuff like that. so at the beginning (and tbh i still feel a little) i was always very nervous to talk about it or talk with other people in general (especially in a language that is not my mother tongue) because it was something so out of my comfort zone, but through qsmp i learned more about cultures and languages ​​that before i didn't even thought about learning, i felt the desire to continue learning languages ​​that i had left aside, i felt more proud of my nationality, i met very kind people from different countries, it brought me a lot of joy seeing many people starting to learn my language too and see so many people who like the same things as me who share opinions and interests and even people who speak my language who are also very engaging it's so cool to see and the whole feeling of unity, comfort and cultural mix between different people made me extremely passionate about this project and the things it provided.
but unfortunately, recently it has been very difficult to deal with the excess of negativity and heavy topics and serious matters that came to the surface and started to accumulate with disappointments and overwhelming things that i had been feeling for a while. having hyperfixation on qsmp stopped being something that motivated me and brought me happiness, it started to affect my mental health in a bad and unhealthy way, which already hasn't been so good in the last few days. so i thought i'd just vent a little so that maybe someone who is in a similar situation and having similar feelings to mine will feel less alone or a little more understood.
i heard Quackity's recent statement and i was relieved to see that he handled the situation responsibly and addressed the matters without taking away the importance also genuinely apologizing, it was a difficult and sad situation to witness in general but with the server closed on a temporary break, i really hope that he now stays informed and aware of how his team is working and how things are happening behind the scenes. i hope that this brings more organization, communication, correct and respectful treatment to all those who work to maintain the project with care and commitment, and i hope things get an extremely significant change and that everything improves from now on. i still have a lot of love for this project and i want to believe things will be more positive again, but in the meantime i hope that everyone who was affected by everything that has been happening takes care of themselves and always remember that you are important, your feelings are valid and you're not alone. speak up when you feel the need, when you feel disrespected, when you need help. also don't forget to be kind (to yourself too) and i'm waiting for better days.
22 notes · View notes
Text
Finding Out About the Prefect Club | Yandere Twisted Wonderland
Tumblr media
Throughout you time in Twisted Wonderland, you are identified to be the first for a lot of things. The first non-magical person brought by the mirror, the first to witness and help end overblots on campus, the first to initiate the idea of teamwork (according to Crowley). It wouldn’t be a surprise that you are also one of the first students in NRC to continue being nice even when your fellow students are unruly and conniving. Such kindness in the midst of such a terribly misbehaved student body is sure to stand out and attract some attention. And while you surely have the dormleaders and their friends eating out of your hands, too bad the whole school practically is too:
Tumblr media
Riddle Rosehearts
Finds out about it after attempting to return something to you
In a shared class you seemed to have left behind decorated pencil of yours in favor of chasing Grim
While debating if he should return it to you immediately or take a detour to his room
Another student has swiped it before him
He’s about to berate them 
Scold them for their behavior but he stops 
They are
.sniffing it
intensely
He’s kind of jealous
Then he watches them sigh and put a glove on their hand before carefully putting it in a bag
He carefully follows after the student who slinks around until he’s in a hidden catacomb of the school
It’s filled with students in masks in their ceremonial garbs
“I’ve recovered a remnant!”
The cheers hurt his ears 
But he stays for the whole ceremony as they carry on normally
“And this picture is when they tripped on the trash those heathens left.”
“Disgraceful! We should hex them!”
“But they look so cute on the floor like that~”
“I know right~?”
Riddle decides that he should attend the next meeting as well 
So he swipes the pin and covertly keeps it in his chest pocket
“Some one  has to monitor them
it’s only right it’d be a dorm leader such as I.”
He’ll never admit he’s happy someone is bold enough to invade your privacy for him
If you ever find out he'll just expose them to you
Tumblr media
Leona Kingscholar
Hears about it while pretending to nap somewhere
It angers him that the members of the dorm are slacking 
But he doesn’t interrupt because of his curiosity
“--omeone recovered one of the prefects jackets!”
“Seriously?! Are they letting just anyone touch it?”
“No way! Apparently their putting it on display in the—”
He finds a way to sneak in on one of the ceremony 
Stifling his laughter when the students all dance to a recording of your off-tune singing
“Do they really think they stand a chance at getting my herbivore?”
He’s so amused 
So amused that when they excitedly recount how you brushed up against some of them 
He knows he can do so much better
“Oi (Y/n).”
“Yes?”
“C’mere.”
“Uh Leona? Why are you hugging me?”
“You said you’d help your friends in need right? I need a pillow, so quit struggling.”
Tumblr media
Idia Shroud 
Practically takes over the club
Probably a distributor that eventually is exalted as the (Y/n) expert
Sharing just a wink of the info, pictures, and souvenirs he gets from you
“Hahhaha you have so much to learn about the prefect before you even come close to my level.”
“Please! Sensei, teach us!”
“Only you hold the greatest gems from the beloved prefect!”
“That’s right!”
It’s like those discord chats that are just about everyone gushing about an anime or game
He may even attend physically with a mask of course as he gushes about the latest quirk he discovered of yours
Of course he’s not going to share everything 
But it’s nice to share your interest
And know that you’re not alone
“We can’t forever silence the over-touchy interlopers (Y/n) will only favor them more. Do not forget their compassionate actions towards each of us. In turn there are plenty of ways to punish them!”
“Yeah!”
He also has the prime sources to hear about anyone trying to make a move on you that he can’t directly monitor 
“Looks like Ortho is paying this student a
little visit.”
932 notes · View notes
rafeyswrd · 3 months
Note
for your rafe cameron series 🧡!
i hc that rafe hates that his shy gf is a people pleaser so whenever ppl ask reader for/to do things, he tells them no and teaches reader to be selfish sometimes
sweet girl . part one.
part two.
. . . finally done with uni and travel work so!!! i have not written in too long, so hopefully i have done it some justice!! part 1 because i truly think it deserves more :(
warnings. manipulative rafe? oblivious reader. bad friends lowkey.
Tumblr media
Rafe Cameron adored you to the ends of the earth, every breath you took called his name. He cannot think of any quality you owned in which he disliked (maybe, slightly, being a pogue). But God he could not stand how nice you were. You knew it was a bad habit, a habit that made you likeable for all the wrong reasons. 
Your heart was racing, and the base of your palms overloaded with sweat. No matter how many times you tried to relieve the stress, your mind would not stop reeling. It took days of convincing on your friends’ end, but it finally came to their luck when you’d hesitantly agreed.
Terrified. Terrified is the word you would use to describe how you felt. You were in shambles just thinking of the ocean, the deep seas scaring you in ways you would rather not imagine. But your friends needed you, after constructing a plan to get another batch of gold – all they needed was you.
“Are you ready?” JJ asked. Your shaking hands were gripping the edge of the boat before you nodded. 
You tried, you really did, only you felt the panic settle in when your legs were the only identifiable object below you that did not jitter you. Your eyes stung painfully, and you were sure they would swell soon enough. After every exhale you did, water filled your lungs and the fish that trickled by your trembling feet, did not help but cause a worrisome tremble of your body. 
It was a long while with overwhelming darkness consuming you, and time didn’t register then, not until Rafe’s angry voice was loading through your ears.
He was beyond furious. He wasn’t supposed to leave you alone today, but how could he say no to you when you were practically begging? (it did not take much — in fact.)
Rafe stood near his bed, watching your breathing steady and lashes gently flutter open. He paced near you with haste speed, before sitting down near your arms. “Do you know how stupid you are?”
“wh-what?” 
“You wanted to keep this relationship a secret,” his breath shook with every word he spat out, yet the touch on his hands were laced with gentleness. “So you better stay outta trouble. I can’t come ‘n get you around your shitty fucking friends.”
You sat up slowly, taking notice of the way your clothes lay folded on his desk chair, his own clothes hanging loosely around your body. You knew Rafe cared about you, he is your boyfriend, but it never crossed your mind that he’d find anger in your misery. 
You gulped, shrugging your shoulders yet your hands still circled by his, “I-I don’t get it, they’re my friends and they asked, it was a risk anyone would tak-”
“No the fuck it’s not, my God Y/N,” he dragged his hands over his face, before leaning close to you. “No friends would ask you to jump into the fuckin’ ocean knowin’ you’re scared shitless.”
His jaw clenched and you squint your eyes at the furrow of his brows, “Rafe
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.” The frown residing on your face was evident, reaching out with one hand to clasp his rough hands with your own, and another tenderly caressing the creasing of his skin.
You didn’t understand his anger, but it was justified in your head, nonetheless. How could he ever be wrong in your eyes?
Not a second had passed and he was already mimicking the sadness plastered onto you, before using his other hand to caress your cheeks — a touch so soft sighs escaped the pair’s lips.
“Baby,” he cleared his throat, “Im- m’not mad at you. No one loves you like I do. I wouldn’t risk your life; your friends are selfish.”
He cradled your head onto his chest, wiping and pressing on your pouting mouth. “‘s not the first time either, you care too much ‘ts going to hurt you.” you shrug into his chest, heart aching at the sound of his own beating erratically breath your ears.
Rafe sighed, gulping and leaning onto the headboard, “gonna have to have me stuck by you all the time, i’ll be your backbone while you get to be all sweet ‘n shit.”
“you think i’m sweet?” a saccharine giggle escapes you at the roll of his eyes, and Rafe tightens his hold on you, knuckles white as you draw mindless patterns on his chest.
451 notes · View notes
san8ny · 4 months
Note
Hiii i have a request, could u write about ex ellie still totally in love with u, she comes to your house to pick her things up, you guys end up fucking and start to date again?
(Emoji just to identify it was me 🌾)
Sweet Girl.
an: had to contribute to the sub! Ellie shortage..srry if shes pretty pathetic../wc: 1.09k
“We both need to move on.”
Ellie lets out a frustrated huff at your blunt response, her gaze fixed on the ceiling. “I don’t want to move on from you. I don’t want anyone else. I want you.” She sighs again, feeling so hopelessly vulnerable like this. But she knows they’re already past the point of holding back.
“But you—“
“Please..” Ellie looks up from where she’s kneeled at your bedpost, her gaze hungry and desperately possessive. She doesn’t want to have to think about anything else right now. She just wants to be this, tangled up in bed with you. “Please..”
“Ugh, ‘els.” You sigh annoyed and obviously irritated with the time of night she’s decided to come bother you.
2:22 AM
Ellie lets out a short whine at the nickname, her body already responding to your exasperation. She leans down and buries her face in your lap, pressing as much of herself against you as possible. “I want you so bad,” she whispers pathetically like you didn’t hear her the last 200 times.
“You know what? Fine, but you’re gonna get the fuck up out of my house after this.” You press, pulling her from the wooden floorboard and onto your bed, “and you’re going to listen to everything I say.”
“I-i always do—“
“Answer.”
Ellie shudders at the menacing tone of your voice, “Everything,” she whispers, her hands running over your body. “ ‘i’ll do everything you want..just, shit, touch me...”
You hum at the soft pleading, massaging her scalp lightly with your fingertips, an attempt to ease her into a state of relaxation; Ellie’s eyes feel heavy as she slumps into you, you’re so pretty..
“ What happened to getting your stuff?”
Ellie groans, letting out a petulant huff when you catch onto her excuse to come over. “I’ll grab my stuff later,” she mutters, lifting her head to look at you with a pleading look in her eyes. “Why won’t you touch me..”
You scoff, taking your hands away from her scalp and pushing her away, “Impatient girls don’t get jack.”
Ellie's eyes widen as you push her away, her breath suddenly hitching in her throat. "W-what?" her voice comes out as a strangled whisper.
She feels utterly humiliated, her heart clenching hard in her chest. "Is this some kind of punishment for what I did? Making me want you this bad, and then turning me away?" She feels foolish and humiliated, tears pricking at her eyes.
“Say you’re sorr—
"I'm sorry," Ellie chokes out before you can even complete the order. The words feel foreign in her mouth, but her heart tightens as she forces them out. "I'm sorry for what I did. I'm sorry for pushing you away. I'm sorry for being so impatient. I'm sorry for..." Her voice breaks, tears streaming down her cheeks. She looks up at you, her eyes pleading. "I'm sorry for everything. Please, baby. Let me stay. Let me make it up to you."
She hesitates a moment before she clambers forward to sit on your lap again, her body pressing flush against yours.
you sigh in content, “Such a good girl you are, Ellie.” cupping her cheeks, you tilt her head backwards to slightly face you, “Pick where you want me to touch first.”
A shiver runs down Ellie’s spine at the question, but she doesn’t hesitate in her answer. “Lips,” she whispers. She wants to taste your mouth again, feels like she’s starving for it. “Kiss me,” her voice coming out needy and desperate.
Ellie moans hungrily into the kiss once you give in, her hand coming down to your side to your arm, holding you close as she kisses back. Her tongue pushes past your soft lips, tasting herself as she lets all her pent up desperation and longing bleed out and into the kiss.
“Missed you so much,” she babbles, “Nothing has felt the same without you. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t think. I just need you. I need you so bad..” her back arching involuntarily as your lips start trailing down her neck
You nod against her skin, nose brushing up on her nape where your perky tits were to her toned back, “Gonna make you feel so good, baby. Hm? ‘dunno if you’re gonna wanna leave after this actually..”
Ellie feels dumbed out from how your smooth hands slowly slither into the waistband of her sweatpants, slipping them off; she also, can’t help the slight smile that grazes her face in the realization of what is just about to occur between the two exes.
loveyouloveyouloveyou
“Gotta let me know what to do, sweet girl. Ungh...you’re so wet..” you preen when the pads of your fingers meet contact with the pleasurable mess Ellie’s made underneath the layering
Your compliments don’t help as much when you begin to rub her puffy mound, constricting hold feeling like sweet death to Ellie in addition to the sticky boxers she still had on.
shittttttt
.
After some while, you kiss behind her ear right on a pressure point
“You still with me?” You murmur, knowing how little she can get off on if you tick her just the right way. she’s always been ultrasensitive, “Gonna give me a big one?..” your fingers don’t let up on the assault, occasionally rolling her clit in between your digits all the while,
She lets a small squeak out before leaning an arm back over her shoulder to hold your neck, almost in an attempt to press you closer to her like you both had space inbetween— you didn’t, “Uhn..uhn—! I’m g-gonna cum..” She whimpers,
You kiss the crown of her head before grinding the heel for your palm further onto her, “juust like that, like how I taught you..” She eventually does orgasm, repeating your name like a prayer while you talk her through it,
Ellie is breathless and boneless, her body utterly spent and sated from the intensity of the moment. She lets out long, shaky exhale as she blinks her eyes open, taking in the sight of you in front of her, hair tousled and cheeks flushed. “That was
” she begins, her voice coming out a breathy whisper, but the words to describe it don’t come.
“Still gonna leave?” You ask, licking your digits
Ellie almost laughs at the question, still spent from the high she feels. “God, no,” she whispers. She lifts a trembling hand to your face, her fingers dancing over your soft skin. “After that? I’m never letting you kick me out again.” She presses a chaste kiss against your collarbone.
640 notes · View notes
thedreadvampy · 2 months
Text
Guys I am BEGGING you to mask up if you're going to counterprotest the fash. They DO take photos and they DO spread them around their networks for targeting reasons.
This is not just targeted at people who consider themselves Serious Radgy Activists, antifa or anarchists.
This is for you, your mum who's angry about people targeting your neighbours, your nan who thinks the racists are being silly, your pals from the pub.
This is for everyone. We all need to stay safe at anti-racist demos.
It can feel paranoid, but things can escalate fast and it's hard to walk back once your photo's out there. A bit of overabundant caution when it's not 100% necessary is better than looking over your shoulder for years or getting jumped unexpectedly in the pub because of a photo you didn't even know was taken.
Honestly, especially with more and more police crackdowns against protesters, this is a good habit to get into at any protest or demo where there's the slightest chance of things kicking off, with fash or with cops.
You don't have to go full black bloc, but even if you're not planning on diving into the fray, stay safe - consider:
Cover your face. Wearing a mask can also help prevent COVID in your network, but if you don't have one or don't want to wear one, cover the bottom half of your face with a snood, balaclava, scarf, etc. If you need to eat, drink, smoke or vape, turn AWAY from the front of the line and ideally duck behind a banner or another person to do it. Keep masked until you're out of line of sight of the demo.
Cover your hair, especially if it's coloured or you have an interesting haircut. I usually part my mohawk down the middle and tie it to disguise the undercut, and bundle it up at the back to disguise the length, before I put on a hat or scarf - but I'm paranoid, and a hat, a headscarf or a hood will be fine. A baseball cap is good too - the brim further obscures your face from a lot of angles.
Cover up big tattoos, or tattoos that are highly identifiable from a distance. I have an upper arm sleeve and I'm honestly still working on summer options for this, but consider long sleeves for arm pieces, a light scarf/bandana for chest/neck tattoos, long trousers or leggings for leg tattoos, and/or gloves if you have hand tattoos (often the easiest to identify cause they're rarer). Even mesh or fishnet can be ok, or in a pinch you can use plasters or draw over it with a felt tip - you don't necessarily need to hide it fully if that's too hard, but try and make it harder to recognise.
If there's an accessory you often have on you in your regular life - colourful shoes, a bag with a fun design, exciting glasses frames, favourite earrings, etc - consider swapping it out for a more generic option. You don't want to put loads of effort into covering your face then get jumped on the way to work because someone recognised your backpack!
Don't help the fash out - if you take any photos, try to avoid including people's faces or tattoos as much as possible. If you post pics on socials, give them a quick once-over and consider putting an emoji or drawing over anyone's face visible.
If you see photos of someone you know at a demo, let them know (especially if they've come from rightwing accounts). If you see one of the fash taking photos, warn people and make the effort to help others cover up if they need it.
We haven't seen fascist/white nationalist mobilisation at this scale in a long time, and most people trying to help haven't dealt with this shit before. The risk factors are different to protests you may have gone on before.
Fash do sometimes come back and target people individually outside of demos if they've marked you out as an enemy. Keep safe, keep covered, keep together.
Few additional safety/security tips:
Once you've arrived at the demo, don't go anywhere alone until you're well away from the area. Stick with a buddy or a group you feel safe with and you're less likely to be jumped. Definitely don't leave on your own.
Cops are not your friends! They've been arresting as many anti-racist activists as racist ones. so remember: no comment, no personal details, don't tell them anything, and this includes blue bib PLOs. If they tell you to do something, ask 'under what power' and if they can't demonstrate that you're legally required, don't.
Don't drink or do drugs at a demo - you're adding risk for everyone around you
If you have your phone with you, make sure it's password-locked. We all sometimes lose or drop our phones and if it gets into the wrong hands you want it to be secure.
If you don't want to risk fighting, that's ok - numbers are still super important and tbh most of us aren't super keen on throwing down. Make sure that if things do seem like they might kick off and you don't think you can defend yourself, that you're moving towards the centre of the crowd and that you're not out on your own.
Look out for each other. Step in if someone's being harassed or attacked - step in as a group so you have more backing, if possible. If you're white, even if you're not able/up for fighting, it can be helpful to be part of a human barrier around people who are more likely to be targeted (eg people of colour and people who are wearing hijab/are otherwise visibly Muslim). When you're surrounded by other people, you're way less likely to get attacked.
If the fash seem to have gone, don't immediately disperse and don't post on socials that you're leaving. Especially if you're defending a specific place, it's very easy for them to wait till you've gone and come back later - give it at least an hour after the expected fash action, ideally longer.
On the flip side, don't be the last small group of people left standing. The usual rule for higher-risk demos is 'when we leave, we leave together as one' - however, for community defence, as above, doing that too early can out the people you're defending at greater risk. However, if there's like 5 of you there when 20 fash come back, you might be screwed - unless you're confident you can handle yourself, try to make sure the counterprotest crowd doesn't fall below 10-15 people. If it does, and you haven't specifically planned for that, you should consider calling it quits and leaving together.
If you're traveling to and from a demo on public transport, keep security in mind - you and the fash may be traveling to and from the same place. As much as possible, stay with buddies. Put away any signs and try not to look like you've just come from a protest. If you feel nervous, consider taking a more roundabout route home, or hopping off the train partway and getting back on the next one.
Don't do the fash's work for them. It's tempting to repost white nationalist calls to action to warn people, but you're kind of just spreading their rhetoric along with it. Instead, keep info to places, times and groups - you don't need to include the fearmongering about immigrants!
Don't post about where you are in too much detail, for the same reason - especially hotels and refuges!!! Fash are targeting those places for a reason, and when you've gone home, the people they're targeting are still there. If you post "we're at X hotel where asylum seekers live," could the wrong person see that and think "oh, that's where the bastards live, I'll remember that"? Remember, it's people's basic safety we're here to defend! Similarly, think about how much detail you share about tactics, who told you or how they knew - on social media you're not only talking to your own side.
also Stand Up To Racism have been at the forefront of a lot of these counterprotests. there's a whole sordid history there which mean a lot of people hate them, but more immediately they're just not always the best example of practical security. Just today they called time on a demo in Newcastle before the advertised fash demos were even due to start, and they are often very free with information and with people's photos. don't take your lead from them! they're playing a role in coordinating things, but ultimately they are not prepared when it comes to keeping either activists or the communities we're protecting safe.
if in doubt, skew on the side of caution - cover up more, share less info, stay in larger groups for longer, and stay later. If you come alone, it's ok to attach yourself to the side of an existing group - they'll understand.
294 notes · View notes
satvruu · 8 months
Text
àł€ how they hug you
rewritten and reposted of my hc set from my old blog @/star-puff! thank you to all my old dedications as well as my new ones @kurooppi @wyllsravengard for making my return to this fandom possible <3
feedback is very appreciated!
ft. yuuji, megumi, gojo, getou, nanami
Tumblr media
itadori yuuji embraces you warmly, fondly, sunlight streaming through the window and scattering over your bare skin. it's someplace safe and comforting, enveloped in his arms like he's taken it upon himself to protect you from everything horrible in the world; he is your knight, he is your shield, your safe haven to escape to, no matter how many wounds he will endure in the process. ("yuuji," you whisper, a hand coming up to rest gently on his arm. he bleeds desperation. "i'm okay, i promise." yuuji squeezes you tighter, trembling, and you wonder what you can do to make it true for him, too.) he holds you for far too long for it to be anything casual, but you can't really complain about it anyway—it's better this than to witness the alternative. after all, what is the sun without a place to hold its warmth; what becomes of a hero when they fail to protect the things that matter most?
fushigurou megumi comes to you slow, steady, a ripple of water in the pond. you coax him out gently, holding your arms out before wrapping them around him. his breath hitches (always, no matter how many times he tries to hide it) and his body stiffens, arms frozen at his sides. but slowly, surely, your head buried in his chest, megumi's arms begin to wrap around you in a manner you can only describe as tender—as if you could break if he held onto you too tight. (truthfully, megumi thinks he's just afraid. the jujutsu world is a dangerous one, after all, even to those who only know of it by name. megumi has lost too many people, and you're the one person he can't afford to lose.) he flinches at the thought, pulling away. you draw yourself closer in him, instead. moonlight behind the clouds, you'd gladly hold onto this night forever if it meant megumi was by your side.
gojo satoru is known as many things—a child prodigy, the strongest, a boy-god making his presence known on the lowly earth, but to you, he is simply just obnoxious. satoru makes it a spectacle each time he sees you: hollering, gallivanting, draping himself over you with his long limbs and impossible-to-miss frame. you huff and complain and uselessly try to drag yourself away from him each time, but satoru hooks onto you and refuses to let you go, nuzzling his face into yours. (they're mine, the action screams, a blaring warning to anyone unfortunate enough to get caught in the collateral. you've been too caught up in your irritation of him to notice this, of course, and you're certainly not someone who would take the explicit meaning of it kindly, but satoru finds that he doesn't really care. not when he has more important things to attend to.) gojo satoru is many things, but the one thing he absolutely isn't is someone who can share.
getou suguru smells of sandalwood incense, a musky amber you think you could identify blind. sometimes, you think you remember a different suguru, a kinder suguru, one that had easier things to worry about, a brighter look in his eyes, an easier weight to his gait. if you think back far enough, you suppose it might have been because he had somebody else by his side to keep it that way, a brighter light shining next to him to keep the darkness at bay. (but that was a long time ago. now, suguru is the one left to be lit by the fire, stuck in the ashes of his own kin for a future little understand. you're not sure who is to blame for that anymore.) you're not the light that can save him—no one can be, not anymore. when suguru reaches out to you, rare vulnerability bubbling over in a way you can only describe as drowning—as crumbling—the only thing you can do is curl yourself next to him in the incense burner, smearing yourself in the ash.
nanami kento thinks you need this, especially after a long, hard day. the melting comes slow: his hands on your back, gentle pats and quiet whispers of comfort as he rests his chin on your head. and then comes everything else. his hands slot perfectly into the dip of your back, the small of your waist, thumbs rubbing small circles over the fabric of your clothes, and in the eyes of no one but yourselves, the two of you begin to sway back and forth to a quiet melody nanami begins to hum. you cling onto the fabric of his shirt, trying to memorie the smell of his cologne, the rumble of his voice, the warmth of his arms. (it's too much, to have a memory of a future that will inevitably happen. you almost want to cry. don't go, you want to say, a lump in your throat, wishing for the impossible. don't go.) and still, selfish as you are, nanami hugs you like you're slow dancing in the dark.
855 notes · View notes
macabr3-barbi3 · 20 days
Text
Dream a Little Dream (of Me)- Chapter 5
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4
Tumblr media
Even more fun new abilities, like making Alastor have a real conversation!
I'm sorry, I know it's been forever- I have a terrible habit of getting caught up at chapter 5 on all of my fics for some reason đŸ€Ł the new banner was created by my beloved @fraugwinska who is this fic's #1 hype woman (ily 💕)
I've hit a point in this story where I think I'm going to start implementing a few more plot elements- I love writing the smut but I have some fun ideas for actual story; they can only do so much before something else is needed to keep it going, so going forward there will be a bit less of a focus on the sexual aspects of the reader's relationship with Alastor and more on some emotional parts and world-building. I hope that's not too disappointing, and that you all will stick along for the ride with us <3
Tumblr media
For weeks following your fleeing of his bedroom, Alastor is in an absolutely foul mood.
The night after your argument, your silent lounging on your bed- in your own bedroom once again, sleep deprived and irritated, unwilling again to interact with anyone else’s dreams- is disturbed by a shuddering of the hotel and loud, clattering thumps coming from down the hall. You stumble bleary-eyed into the hallway with everyone else, Charlie identifying the disturbance as coming from Alastor’s room and knocking gently on the door.
When he opens it he looks distraught, eyes wide, smile strained, his hair looking like he’s been running his hands through it constantly, tugging at it. “What is it,” he asks the Princess, and to Charlie’s credit she doesn’t shrink back from him when she asks if he’s okay, tells him that he’s disturbing everyone’s sleep.
He locks eyes with you where you stand a few feet away, still hovering halfway into your own room. “Perfectly fine,” he tells Charlie, but his eyes don’t leave your face. “Merely a
 nightmare, I suppose. More of a disappointing dream than anything else, really.”
You duck back into your room with a slam of the door, chest heaving with your anger and frustration and not listening to whatever else he had to say to Charlie. What right did he have to say that you were a disappointment? You didn’t even know what he wanted from you, let alone what you had done wrong- what, not wanting to kill people? You were no saint, having ended up in Hell in the first place, but you had morals still, lines you wouldn’t cross. Regardless of anything that had happened between you thus far, any yearning or feelings that might have resulted from it, you wouldn’t change who you were as a person for him. You came to the hotel seeking redemption, for fuck’s sake- how could he think that he could ask that of you?
You start booking other hotel rooms with the money you’re earning as the Resident Events Coordinator- honestly, Charlie probably pays you way too much, but it's helping you in the meantime so you aren’t going to complain- and you’ll camp out for a few days at a time and practice your abilities in the dreams of others. It’s fun for a while, to innocently mess with people by creating clones and turning things upside down. You find that once you’ve been inside someone’s dreams you can almost tune into their thoughts like a radio broadcast now- a little concentration and you get fleeting snippets of consciousness from them; grocery lists, work tasks, gossip. It’s nothing like it had been with Alastor, like you were deep-diving into his brain, seeing his memories through his eyes. He might have been right about your connection to him being what allowed such a thinking to happen, since you showed no signs of being able to do such a thing with anyone else.
Charlie notices how often you’re away from the Hotel, because she’s doing everything in her power to keep you there aside from having Vaggie physically restrain you. She keeps proposing new activities for you to coordinate, from a night at the club to an outing at LuLu World, and most recently she had you planning a trip to her father’s mansion for some fancy dinner and tour- Lucifer himself wouldn’t be interacting with them beyond the actual meal, he was just opening the space to them so they could all see where Charlie had grown up, another lesson in ‘empathy’ that Charlie hoped would help them make progress.
So you spent the evening making sure that everyone was corralled into the correct locations and not slipping off where they shouldn’t be. Angel had already tried to convince Husk to raid the wine cellar with him, Niffty was lamenting that she wasn’t allowed into the King’s personal quarters to clean, and Charlie was growing more and more frustrated that rooms she wanted to show the group had been filled with rubber ducks. Alastor keeps his distance from you, occasionally fading into the shadows to go do his own thing- you hope Charlie and Lucifer don’t hold it against you that you have no ability to control that man. 
Dinner calms everyone down, wine and delicious food putting everyone in a better mood while Lucifer dazzled them with magic and stories about Charlie as a child. You laugh along with everyone but you can feel Alastor’s eyes on you the entire meal, and when you finally steal a glance at him he’s looking away.
Typical.
You help Vaggie herd everyone into their rooms- their own rooms, to Angel’s disappointment at not being able to share with Husk- and leave Alastor to Charlie so she can berate him about not making an effort to get along with her dad, snippy barbs flying across the table at each other between stories. You tell the girls that you’ll stay up a bit later to make sure no one does any ill-advised exploring in the night, and bid them a goodnight as you head off to clean up from dinner. Lucifer seemed to have used his magic to take care of most of the food mess, but he’s nowhere to be seen when you return to the dining room so you take your time in stacking plates and organizing the dishes so that whatever staff he might have has an easier time of taking care of it all.
Just after midnight finds you seated on the couch in Lucifer’s library, your eyes surprisingly not bleary with a need for sleep despite not having truly rested in days. Everyone else is asleep- you focus your powers for a moment and can’t pinpoint anything coming from the others, other than an unpleasant staticky noise that comes from Alastor’s room. The fireplace crackles pleasantly a few feet away from you, the comforting smell of old books surrounding you and making things feel
 calmer than they have as of late, with Alastor stomping around the hotel like some angry beast and refusing to interact with you at all. He was always making this expression towards you, like he wants to say something, or wants you to say something, and it was wearing away at your resolve.
You didn’t want to have this distance between you. Even beyond the more intimate moments that you had shared, Alastor had always been good company; he was helping you learn more about your powers, even if it was only to sate his curiosity; outside of his bedroom he was friendly and fun, and would probably rather die again than admit that he enjoyed the company of the others as well. Throughout of the course of this
 thing between you, something had changed on your side. You think about the night he tore his stitches, the words you had whispered before realizing he had passed out above you.
“I would be yours. Forever. For as long as you want.”
The words still sit uncomfortably true in your ribcage, make the rift between the two of you feel even wider. Maybe it would be easier if he knew- if you could take his avoidance of you as an answer. You wanted to find him, try to have a proper conversation about boundaries when it came to your power- have a proper conversation about your feelings, and-
A throat clears in the doorway of the library, and when you turn Alastor himself stands in the doorway. “I hope I’m not intruding,” he says stiffly without stepping into the room, and you wave a hand at him to indicate that he can join you. He stands at the other end of the room still, closer to the fire, and won’t meet your eyes. “I heard you telling Charlotte that you would keep an eye on everyone tonight- but I know you haven’t slept. I’m happy to take up the watch if you would like me to place a temporary pocket dimension in your room, or transport you back to the hotel for the night.”
You want to drop it- ignore the fight that still hovers frustratingly between the two of you when Alastor is offering an out. His way of apologizing, perhaps, but your thoughts from earlier are still there. You needed to actually talk about it, or the pair of you would just keep coming back to the same issue.
“It depends. Does accepting your offer mean that we wouldn’t be talking about how you casually mentioned having me kill people for you? Because in that case, no thank you.” You watch the fire instead of him, how the flames twist and dance with one another as he stiffens at your words.
“I
 regret how that evening transpired,” he says at last, ignoring your sigh as he comes closer to the couch. “I’ve thought on the matter and I recognize how such a request-”
“A request that you made seem like a command,” you remind him, “with that shit you pulled with the leash.”
He takes a deep breath, the flames flickering green behind him as he tried to keep his composure. “Yes, I can see now how that would have upset you. Regardless- I recognize how such a request was inappropriate, even if we did have a tentative agreement in regards to my limits with your powers. I understand that it is a boundary for you, and I will do my best not to test that again.”
You finally turn to look at him, and he looks
 properly abashed. But there was no way he would have come up with that on his own, not with the glee that had been evident in his features when he brought up the idea. “Did Charlie help you with that?” You ask, and he scowls- which is less scary than he probably hopes it is, and is more a confirmation than anything else.
“I may have sought her expertise in handling interpersonal conflict,” he says, his stiff posture finally loosening up as he joins you on the couch. “Apologies do not come easily to me- not sincere ones, anyway. I don’t-” He clenches his fist and turns away from you, dark shadows crawling across the floor in arcs away from him. “I don’t know how to have something in my grasp without possessing it entirely. We have a deal but it’s not one that grants me the liberties that I would prefer in regards to your powers and your actions.” 
You take a deep breath and scoot closer to him. “I appreciate you being honest with me,” you offer, and he grimaces like the idea is distasteful. “Listen, I’m sure you think having feelings makes you weaker or something but really, it’s important to talk about these things. And to apologize
 which I accept. But if we want to keep, you know, experimenting with my powers and whatever else, I think we need to have specific guidelines of what we expect of each other that isn’t crossing any boundaries for either of us. What, exactly, do you want?”
Alastor seems to struggle with himself for a moment, clenching his hands and refusing to meet your eyes. “I
 I’m not quite sure what I want,” he says, like the words of ignorance pain him. “I’ve despised having to keep my distance from you since our disagreement. To see you laughing with the others and turning away from me with that look on your face was unpleasant to say the least. I don’t want that space between us again- if you’re amenable to the idea I think I would like to have you back in my bedroom, once I have repaired the bayou dimension.”
“You want to be closer then- physically.” You hop cushions, sitting right beside him and placing a hand on his knee. “That’s fine, we can do that- you’ll have to tell me what happened to the bayou sometime, though.” He nods stiffly, hesitating a moment before he places his hand over yours on his knee. “Anything else?”
“In regards to your powers, I would still like to experiment if you will allow me.” Alastor lifts your hand from his knee and presses a soft kiss to the back of it. “I understand that hurting others is a limit you will not cross-”
“I won’t hurt you either, if that was your idea of trying to get around that.”
He frowns. “Too clever for your own good- I suppose that is part of the reason that I tolerate you. Very well- I will not ask you to cause physical harm to anybody, period. I also still would like to ask that I am the only one who knows of your abilities for the time being.”
“Done. I do have a condition of my own.” You turn to face him fully, and pull his hand to your heart. “I don’t want this to be a proper deal- no soul binding or anything like that. I would want the rope from our wager removed.” He stiffens at that, but he doesn’t jerk away from you like you expected so you continue. “We have to be able to trust each other if we want any sort of relationship to work, whether it be for experimentation or something more. We should be able to follow each other’s requests and boundaries without needing it sealed with a chain- that doesn’t give us any room to adapt or change as my powers grow and situations shift.”  
His jaw clenches, and he doesn’t look at you for a long moment, instead keeping his eyes trained on the flames before he finally nods- you bite your lip to keep from grinning or doing something stupid, like shouting in excitement. “I hope you realize what you are asking of me,” he says finally. “I don’t generally keep people close to me that I cannot control or own in some way or another. It keeps me detached from needing people, or caring about their approval. But I do believe I want those things from you, which is why I am agreeing to these terms. Please understand that this is
 new territory for me.”
You lace your fingers through his. “It is for me, too. But that’s where the trust comes in- I have to trust that you’ll respect my boundaries without the compulsion of a deal, and you trust that I’m here with you because I want to be- whether you just want to continue experimenting with my powers or
 anything else.”
Alastor’s red eyes glance at you from his peripheral. “Anything else, you say? I take it to mean that you also wish for things to return as they were between us in an intimate manner?” Your face flushes but you nod, and to your relief he smiles softly and reaches across the scant distance between you to touch your shoulder. “I would like that as well,” he says, and cups your cheek in one hand, leaning in so your foreheads rest against one another. His breath ghosts across your lips, and you realize with startling clarity that this would be the first time you’ve kissed him outside of dreams; the first one in reality, a milestone to mark the resolvement of your disagreement. You embrace it, leaning in and letting your lips meet, a gentle pressure before your mouth opens with a gasp when he trails his free hand up your thigh to caress the skin under your shorts with his thumb. “So soft,” he murmurs into the kiss, almost absently, and then he’s pulling you to him, maneuvering so you sit sideways in his lap. He lets his fingers creep a bit further under the hem of your shorts. “May I?”
“Please,” you whine, and he grants you mercy by snapping your clothing out of existence so he can make unhindered contact with your skin. His fingers move slowly, tracing through the wetness along the folds of your entrance before he parts them and slips a digit inside. The short weeks that have passed since the last time you were with him feel like a lifetime, but he still knows the intricacies of your body like a well loved instrument; a second finger follows, and pressure against the spot inside you that makes you see stars. “Fuck, Alastor
”
He steals the rest of your words with his mouth, his tongue snaking in to tangle with yours, drinking down the sounds you make like ambrosia. Another finger, and you twist in Alastor’s hold to grind yourself down against them, to angle your hips to guide him more effectively where you want him to go. “Someone is eager, hm?” He pulls back to whisper in your ear, hand finally leaving your face to come around your back, pulling you as close as he can to his body while still working his fingers inside you. His thumb comes into play, brushing with perfect pressure on your clit, dipping into the wetness that coats his fingers so the slide of it is slick and perfect. Tension builds inside you, muscles shaking as you ride Alastor’s hand towards a sloppy orgasm. He brings his mouth to your chest, sharp teeth nipping at the sensitive skin there before sucking gently, still making eye contact when you glance down at him through the haze of pleasure that threatens to overwhelm you. “Go on, darling,” he says softly, laving his tongue over the marks he’s sucked into your skin, fingers thrusting more insistently as everything in you coils tighter than a spring. “Cum for me, go on-”
You cry out his name as it takes you over, the electric flash of ecstasy that consumes you from the pit of your stomach to the tips of your fingers as Alastor works you through it. You can feel your heartbeat in your eyes from the force of it, a soft throbbing that you know Alastor is experiencing where his digits are still inside the grip of your internal walls. Everything is tingly and fuzzy afterward, as your pulse returns to normal and your breathing slows, aware now of the soft kisses that Alastor is pressing into your collarbone.
He removed his fingers from you, bringing them up to his mouth to drag his tongue up and down the length of them while you blush. And despite the pleasure he’s already given you, you want more- you grind your hips down to convey the sentiment, the mess of your orgasm still evident and soaking through the front of his trousers where you can feel the hard ridge of his cock. He hisses at the friction, twisting a hand up into your hair while the other grips your hip and pulls you down harder. “You tempt me, my dear,” he says, “but someone is coming.”
“I don’t hear anything,” you mutter, continuing to rock your hips in little circles. Even with how sensitive you are, the pressure against your clit feels damningly good, too good to stop or heed his warning. “And if someone comes in, I’ll handle it.”
Alastor laughs out loud. “Oh, you’ll handle it, will you? By all means then, have at it.” He gestures vaguely towards his pelvis, unaware of the trick that you’ve been holding up your sleeve in your recent solo experimentations. You would never get a better opportunity to surprise him, you think, as you rip the belt from his pants and help him shimmy them off, his thick erection beading with fluid at the tip when it’s freed.
You lean back against the couch cushions, pulling him down with you and using a gentle hand to guide him to your entrance. You let out a soft whimper as he pushes into you, breath punching out of you with a gasp when he sinks to the hilt in one swift thrust. You tangle a hand into his hair, gripping the base of one of his antlers and grinning when his hips jerk against you at the action. His eyes are half-lidded and soft as he stares down at you, seeming to have to focus on slowing down when he pulls out and slowly presses back in. “You’re so lovely,” he whispers, and your pulse leaps into your throat when he leans down to press a kiss to your forehead.
Your mind is flooded with images when he makes contact, emotions that ride through your veins along with the physical pleasure you’re feeling- evidently he’s been watching you the last few weeks, following you when you left the hotel to make sure you weren’t in any danger, sending his shadow to watch you sleep. You can feel the bitterness in your pulse as he watches you interact with the others, only to turn away when you notice him. The vague sadness that night that he had destroyed his room, his bayou, because how could he remain there when there were traces of you everywhere? 
You break the connection with a gasp, using your grip on his antler to pull him back to your mouth as he continues to fuck into you at a steady pace. He groans into your mouth, his fingers digging into your skin hard enough to leave bruises, marks that you can come back to when the need was to great, more tangible proof that this was real, that he wanted you outside your abilities. “Alastor, please,” you beg, letting the fingers not currently brushing the base of his horns to trail down his spine, tracing the vertebrae beneath your touch as he shivers. He shifts his legs, brings himself closer to you, the angle changing and pushing the tip of his cock exactly where you need it. 
The door to the library creaks open, and you both freeze.
“Hello?” There’s a hint of pain as Lucifer’s voice echoes in the room, where Alastor has tightened his grip enough to break skin with his claws. His other hand untangles itself from your hair to press against your mouth, silencing your heavy breathing. “Who’s in here?”
The couch you were seated on was high-backed- he wouldn’t be able to see you from the door, but if he entered the room, came around the front, you would be fucked in a far less pleasurable way than you currently were. Alastor’s nostrils flare above you as he hears the soft clacking of the King’s boots as he takes a couple steps in, apparently not able to help himself from bucking his hips forward, his teeth bared in a snarl when he feels your muffled groan against his palm.
More light blooms in the room from the wall sconces- you had been sitting in here with just the fire, and the glare of more lighting makes you squint your eyes, Alastor silhouetted beautifully above you. “I know someone is in here,” Lucifer demands, and you take a deep breath against Alastor’s hand and snap your fingers. “You were all told to-”
“Why, good evening, your Majesty!” 
You almost wish you had manifested in Hell like the CEO of that tech company, with some sort of electronics built into your head so you could record the look on Alastor’s face at hearing his own voice respond to Lucifer. Your eyebrows are creased, trying to focus on the figment you’ve conjured to keep the King’s attention away from the couch. 
“Oh, it’s just you,” Lucifer says, and you can hear the hint of disdain in his voice- you wonder, not for the first time, what the issue was between these two- some conflict that had started before you were at the Hotel that no one felt necessary to fill you in on. “I thought you were told to keep to your own quarters past eleven.”
You make the thing twirl it’s cane, snapping it back to the ground and inspecting it’s fingernails. “Yes, well, I had some business to attend to. And might I add, sire, you are also out past your imposed bedtime.” 
Maybe it was something about using your powers to sass the king of Hell with some false puppet, but Alastor seemed to react well to it- his eyes dark, teeth bared, he plants a foot on the floor to brace himself so the couch doesn’t shift and thrusts into you hard, his hand pressing harder against your mouth when you whine at the feeling of his cock dragging against your walls. There’s wonder in his expression, something akin to adoration; this was what he wanted from you, you realized, displays of power, shows of your abilities that he could see and benefit from, that showed that he could trust you. 
Lucifer scoffs across the room. “This is my house, if you’ve forgotten,” he retorts. “I can go where I please. And I heard you talking to someone!” Rapid footsteps, like he’s coming further into the room, and even as it makes Alastor buck his hips wildly against you, you don’t think he really wants to be caught in such a compromising situation.
You make the figure step forward- if you really concentrate you can almost see through its eyes, a vague image behind your eyelids of Lucifer standing before it with his arms crossed where you’ve blocked him, his gaze frustrated. “I was talking to myself,” you make it say. “I must have intelligent conversation on occasion, you know, and with everyone else in bed and only you left awake, I had to make do.”
Alastor grins above you, pleased with the tone and the words of this replica you’ve created of him; refusing to use his likeness to submit or offer pleasantries to get him out of the room; you were doubling down like Alastor himself would. You can hear the inaccuracies- you’re sure Alastor can, too- but Lucifer appears none the wiser as Alastor begins to fuck you in earnest, the couch thankfully staying still and not squeaking or moving as he holds his hand over your mouth harder and leans down to nibble at your collar.
“Of all the disrespectful-”
“Careful now, your Majesty,” it says, and you make shadows appear to crawl across the floor towards him, tendrils approaching the couch as well. When Alastor notices them he groans into your skin, and through the copy’s eyes you see Lucifer snap his head in the direction of the sound. “You wouldn’t want Charlie to catch us in a disagreement, would you?” And thank whatever beings heard prayers down here, Lucifer deflates- you had made a gamble with that, assuming that Charlie had spoken with her father about getting along with her hotelier, but knowing the princess the way that you did you figured there was no way that she would allow them to be at each other’s throats like they were. You let the false shadows sink back, and have your illusion give him a cheeky little wave. “There’s a good King. Now, may I get back to my business?” With the last word, Alastor stills, waiting for a confirmation or denial, possibly preparing to phase the two of you out of the room if Lucifer came further into the room-
“Do whatever you want,” Lucifer grumbles, “Charlie and that little coordinator need to keep a closer fucking eye on you, but I can’t be bothered.”
“I’ll be sure to mention that to our event planner,” you make it say, and Alastor makes another soft noise into your throat against where your pulse beats steadily, replicated in the rhythmic clenching of your walls around his still hard length. The interruption doesn’t seem to have doused your arousal, nor Alastor’s- the possibility of being caught like this makes your blood boil in the most pleasant way, Alastor’s cock still filling you perfectly even as he’s stopped actually fucking you for the time being. “I’ll bid you a good night, sire; I still have matters that need tending to, free of distractions.” You see Lucifer cast a middle finger back at the image of Alastor as it speaks, and then mercifully he’s storming out, a swirling golden portal opening for him to step through and then closing with a loud crack.
In time with the noise of the portal slamming closed, Alastor pulls his hips back and snaps them forward again- his hand is removed from your mouth with your gasp, and he moves it to your hip to pull you more forcefully into his thrusts. “You,” he growls against your jawline, “are perfect.” He kisses you, licking into your mouth and stealing the air from your lungs as it’s punched from you with every rock of his pelvis. “The audacity to pull such a stunt- the control you maintained over the illusion was breathtaking, I don’t- fuck,” he concludes eloquently, fingers coming between your bodies to rub at your clit again as he races towards completion. It reignites the fire in your abdomen, heat flashing through your body like a strike of lightning that burns across your skin, making you cling to him tighter. He looks down at you with dark, unfathomable eyes while he fucks you, his pace growing uneven and broken as he approaches his end. “Please, darling,” he whispers against your lips, “cum for me, I need-”
The plea is what breaks you, every muscle in your body tensing and releasing as the orgasm slams into you like a car into a brick wall- messy, sudden, destructive. You don’t leave your own mind this time, your consciousness firmly rooted in reality as you watch Alastor lose his composure, his eyes fluttering closed with a gasp of your name while he spills into the slick heat of your cunt, his hips still rocking as if he means to fuck his release as far into you as he can. You shiver with the aftershocks, Alastor still maintaining a gentle swiping across your clit, and you can feel the way your walls twitch around the length of his cock while he stays buried in you to the hilt.
“No mind traveling today, I see,” he asks quietly, another kiss pressed softly to your forehead, and while no mental images come forth you can feel what he’s feeling now; the lingering ache of pleasure, the pride he still feels at your show of your new ability, an overall sense of happiness that you wouldn’t expect to be able to bring Alastor. He had put aside his discomfort to have an honest, responsible conversation with you to fix what you had both thought might be irreparably broken, and you were thankful.
You hum against his throat. “I’m content where I am,” you tell him, and the vibration of his laughter on your lips is perfection.
Tumblr media
From the previous tags list: @aconstructofamind @littlebluefishtail @spottypug @bishiglomper @ivebeenthearchersstuff @minamilinaqueen
if any of you would like to be removed for any reason, please let me know! <3
93 notes · View notes
apomaro-mellow · 7 months
Text
Every Baby Needs a Daddy 11
Part 10
The tour moved on, sometimes Steve went to shows, sometimes he didn't. They were still figuring out just how much in the public eye he should be. Eddie was more than willing to flaunt the man for all to see. But he also wanted to keep him all for himself. Steve was very easily able to occupy himself, whether it was going out on the town with Eddie's card or spending it in the hotel.
More than once, he thought back to the den Eddie had made during his rut. He felt silly for getting so worked up about it and at the same time it made him hope. Eddie had already announced to the world that they were together. Was it so far fetched that more could be on the horizon?
The tour had landed in Washington DC and one morning Steve woke up to something fluttering against his nose. It scrunched up and he batted it away before they quickly returned. He let out a whine and finally opened his eyes. It was so close to his face it was hard to identify it as anything more than a piece of paper.
Then his eyes focused.
"Is that-?" Steve shot up and Eddie pulled them out of his reach, teasing before handing them over.
"I know you're big on basketball. I don't know if the Wizards are your team, but maybe the other guys are, or maybe not, but I thought you and that kid could have fun today."
Steve's eyes were shining. Since they were in D.C., he had mentioned meeting up with one of the kids he used to babysit. Lucas definitely wasn't a kid anymore, fully in college now, but Steve was still close with them. And he was sitting here with two tickets to a game.
"What's the occasion?", Steve asked, still feeling like he needed to justify being spoiled sometimes.
Eddie kissed his shoulder. “To thank you for helping me out with my rut.”
“You didn’t have to do that”, Steve beamed at the tickets. “I would’ve helped anyway. You weren’t exactly forcing my hand.”
“Still, think of it as annnnnn apertif, to when I help you out with your heat?”
Eddie’s voice had a questioning lilt to it and he tilted his head, as if there was a world where Steve wouldn’t let him do that. Only problem was

“You won’t really need to worry about that”, Steve said. “My birth control stops those.”
And then Eddie put on the biggest, saddest, wettest eyes and Steve’s heart broke a little but he also found it endearing. “So, no heat?”
Steve set the tickets down and leaned in, cupping Eddie's cheek as he kissed him. "Trust me, it's for the better."
Eddie had a dreamy look in his eyes as he recovered from the kiss. "How so?"
Steve traced one of the tats on his chest. "Because you definitely would have triggered it by now if I wasn't."
"Hmm, not hearing a negative so far."
Steve chuckled and pushed Eddie onto his back as he climbed on top of him. "If you think I'm clingy now..."
"Sweet thing, I was ready to change my address to 123 Stevie's Perfect Pussy Lane. Take a right at Angelic Thighs Avenue."
Steve's cheeks warmed. It was too early in the morning for this. He'd just woken up.
"Yeah? Daddy likes my thighs?" Steve swung one over Eddie so that he was sitting on his hips.
Eddie nodded hurriedly.
Steve hid his smile in Eddie's neck, loving how eager he always was. "And you think my pussy's perfect?", he whispered in his ear.
They weren't done having their previous conversation. And it would have to be more than one talk. Still, the fact that Steve wanted to talk about it at all spoke volumes about Eddie.
--------------------------------
corrodedcoffinsightings: Steve spotted at a Wizards game
good&grate: no way Eddie is dating a prep AND a jock
lacorbinbleucheese: this means anyone who got into edgy style thanks to cc literally had no chance
-------------------------------
"I can't go off them before your tour's done", Steve said one afternoon they had free while the others set up. They were sitting in a private restaurant in South Carolina. It was honestly one of the better Thanksgivings Steve ever had. They weren't calling it that, but it was happening this week.
Eddie wasn't expecting that. He hadn't brought it up since the first time they talked about it. But if anyone was going to re-start it, it would have to be Steve. Eddie wasn't going to ask him to mess up his cycle or change his medication just because he wanted to fuck a wanton omega.
"So, you want to do it?", he asked.
"I don't know", Steve answered. "I'm just kind of, talking through it. And the first rule is that you can't have any obligations like a whole tour to get through. I'm not going to keep you from that."
"Understandable", Eddie nodded. "What else?"
Steve thought about the impermanence of the hotels they had been sleeping in. Even if he had to take down his nest right after, he wanted to illusion of having a permanent one. He wanted to feel completely safe and at home.
"It has to be somewhere one of us actually lives. Either my place or yours. I don't want it to be in a hotel or the tour bus or any place like that."
Eddie smiled and grabbed Steve's hand. He kissed each of his fingertips. "My baby wants a good place to nest", he said, reading him like a book. And he would do what any good alpha did and give him that place.
----------------------------
They were getting close to the end of the tour. The weather had technically cooled, but as they were traveling down south, Steve hardly noticed a change. Tonight the band was playing in Georgia and the show was supposed to be over but Steve knew the guys were going out for drinks before coming back. It was a bit after midnight when Gareth texted him.
Gareth: If you've got something to fix Eddie's mood, please do it.
Steve had just the thing, but he wondered what happened. He was able to get his answer as he heard Eddie come in, grumbling. Steve was in the bathroom, the door cracked just a bit to help his voice carry.
"Rough night?"
"Some bastard at the bar thought he could chime in on what I do in my private life." Eddie kicked his shoes off and crashed onto the couch, letting his head fall back. "Just so fucking annoying, I wanted to bash his fucking head in."
Steve checked himself over in the bathroom mirror, fluffing his hair a little. He considered makeup but decided against it. "Well, Gareth knew you'd be in a mood and asked me to help fix it."
Eddie lifted his head and realized Steve was taking his time in the bathroom. "Oh yeah?"
"Yeah", Steve said, finally coming out and leaning against the doorway, soaking in Eddie's reaction. Right before they'd left for the tour, he'd taken Eddie's card to do a little shopping in a costume shop. What he'd got felt a little daring, as he'd never worn anything like this before, but he got the feeling Eddie would appreciate it.
He had on one of those stereotypical tavern maid dresses. One that had such a low shoulder that everything was pretty much visible until about halfway down his chest.
"I think I might have the right fix for you." Steve sauntered over, relishing Eddie's dropped jaw. "Every knight deserves as good drink, doesn't he?"
Eddie nodded speechlessly.
Emboldened, Steve pulled the skirt up to just above his knee. "Would you like to partake, brave warrior?"
Considered Eddie's mood lifted.
-----------------------
Florida was the last leg of the tour, so Steve made sure to actually go to these shows. And true to the band's word, they had breakfast before the first show in New York and afterward had dinner after the last show here.
They settled at a table in a diner that had probably seen better days but it had its own charm. It was late so there weren't many other patrons. And Steve was feeling really touchy after seeing a whole crowd scream for Eddie, reaching out to touch him, some even doing so when the band signed autographs afterwards.
He had started off innocently leaning against him but was sitting completely in Eddie's lap by the time their food came. So Steve fed them both. The other guys didn't look put off at all, having gotten used to their closeness.
It was mid-December now and when the calendar changed, Steve worried over Christmas. He already knew he'd need to return to Indiana for the holiday party with the Sinclairs, which was where everyone else was gathering. But Steve was also thinking about how after that, he might be ready to spend his heat with Eddie.
Steve had already looked into a different brand of birth control, one that would still do the job but allow him to have heats. But he didn't know how to ask Eddie about his plans. For so long the plan was the tour and Eddie had brought them up himself. Steve wasn't so blind to think he'd be invited to meet Eddie's family during the holidays but if he knew anything, he might be able to coordinate-
"So you celebrating with Wayne this year?", Grant asked.
"Yeah", Eddie answered, patting Steve's hip absentmindedly. "Old man's been wantin' to go ice fishing and I think this year I'll finally take him."
"What about New Years?", Steve asked.
Eddie smiled at him. "CC's got an event we're performing. But after that, it's vacation time."
"A well needed one", Jeff sighed.
"What do you normally do on vacation?", Steve asked.
"Sleep, game, sleep, eat, movies, game. Basically become a shut in until Chrissy tells me we need new music", Eddie said.
"Time for hibernation", Gareth yawned. "See ya in spring."
Steve hummed a little, giving Eddie his full attention as he leaned his head in. "Well I was thinking you could spend winter somewhere a little bit...warmer?"
Eddie brushed his thumb against Steve's lips. "How warm?"
"Warm", Steve said. "Warmer", he said as Eddie's hand dragged from his lips down his neck. "Warmer, warmer, warm-", he let out a small gasp once Eddie's hand cupped him through his pants.
"This warm?"
Steve nodded, biting his lip as Eddie gave him slow, short strokes.
"After New Year's, I can be all yours." He was almost fully ready to let Eddie finger him right here in front of his friends in what seemed like the last diner on Earth, but Eddie pulled his hand away.
"Other way around baby, I'll be all yours."
I am getting very close to writing exhibitionist Steve solely for Corroded Coffin and I might be okay with that.
Next part: Crimmas? Heat? Stay tuned!
Part 12
Tag Team CLOSED
@awkotaco24 @lingeringmirth @littlewildflowerkitten @estrellami-1 @tartarusknight @velocitytimes2 @mrsjellymunson @trashcanniballecter @paintsplatteredandimperfect @a-little-unsteddie  @sllooney  @starman-jpg  @oxidantdreamboat  @xxbottlecapx   @newtstabber @tiny-enthusiast  @desidrarry-wolfstarshipper @y4r3luv @hello-fellow-nerds  @anonymousbandgirl @alyelf @potato-of-the-lord  @beckkthewreck  @croatoan-like-its-hot @pluto-pepsi @abstractnaturaldisaster @ellietheasexylibrarian @eyesofshinigami @dragonmama76 @greatwerewolfbeliever @chaosgremlinmunson @blackpanzy @millseyes-world @batxsignalsx @lilpomelito @goosesister @libraryofgage @aresthelostboy @royjaimie4eva @silenzioperso @she-collects-smut @lost-wondering-souls @eddielives1986 @marklee-blackmore
248 notes · View notes
romeoandjulietyouwish · 12 days
Text
the first night
this is inspired by a post from @heartsforjohnnycake
Three sharp knocks sounded on the door. 
“Pony, get the door!” Darry shouted from the kitchen where he and Two-Bit were putting last touches on the grease in their hair. Mom and Dad were gonna be home soon and they wanted to get to the party so they wouldn’t get a lecture on drunk driving again. 
When the knocks sounded again, Darry shouted again, “Pony, Soda, get the door!”
Soda, Steve, and Dally were in the living room, the TV blaring over their game of cards. Ponyboy and Johnny were back in the bedroom, probably reading or just talking. Those two were strange like that. 
“I got it!” Soda yelled back. A moment later, Darry heard his feet thundering down the hall and two the door. He heard the door open. “Darry?” Soda called back to him. 
Anxiety twisted in Darry’s chest, his brother sounded scared. Exchanging a glance with Two-Bit, Darry ducked out of the kitchen. 
He nearly ran smack into Ponyboy who must have heard the same waver in their brother’s voice. The two of them looked at the door. Soda stepped aside to let them see two police officers standing there with grim looks on their faces. The one in front was holding his hat in his hands. 
Something happened. Something was deeply wrong.
Darry walked up, nudging Soda behind him. Greasers didn’t mix with cops, if anything were to happen, he wanted it directed at him and not his brothers. “What’s the problem, officer?”
The police officer swallowed and then met Darry’s eyes with something like pity. “I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, son, but your parents were in an accident.”
They were gone before paramedics could get there.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Is there anyone we can call for you?
The world turned to numb buzzing.
Soda sidled up to Darry over, shaking his head like he was trying to get rid of flies, “It’s gotta be a mistake. Mom and Dad are supposed to be home in five minutes-”
The police officer looked at Soda sympathetically. From behind them, Darry could hear the other boys gathering. 
“I’m sorry, there’s no mistake. We found their driver’s licenses in the wreck and-”
“No,” Soda said vehemently. “It’s not them.” He turned to Darry with big, pleading eyes, “Tell them they’re wrong, Darry.”
The whispering behind them grew louder.
Should we call someone?
Who would we call? We’re all right here.
Darry blinked. He needed to be strong. His brothers needed him. He blinked again. Darry forced back the tears that started to build in his eyes. He blinked. And then he looked at his little brother.
“Soda, they’re right,” Darry said. He forced his vocal chords to be even, to not betray an ounce of emotion. 
And Soda began to sob, a horrible sound that speared Darry right in the heart. Ponyboy sprinted towards the bathroom and moments later, Darry heard retching. The earth was falling out from under his feet and still the officers were looking at him with pity.
Behind him, Dally said, “I’ll be back.” And then Darry was being pushed out of the way and the officers were being shoved aside as Dally stormed down the front stoop and to his car. 
The officer took a step forward, “Son, there are a few things we need to discuss with you. It will just take a moment.”
Darry felt a hand on the back of his neck and Two-Bit steered him onto the porch, the door shutting behind him. He tried to fight against it, saying, “Two, I gotta- My brothers-”
Two-Bit nodded, “I know. We’ll go right back inside. He looked at the officers, “Anything you need to tell Darry, you can tell me too. What happened?”
The officers exchanged a look. “They were crossing the train tracks and their car was hit. They died on impact.” Darry thought he was going to throw up, but he swallowed instead and forced himself to listen. “Son, we’ll need you or your brothers to identify their bodies, it’s just a formality, but we need to do it.”
“I’ll do it,” Darry said quickly. He couldn’t let his brothers do that, no way in hell. “Does it have to be now?”
“Of course not,” the officer replied. “Tomorrow or the day after.” Darry nodded. “And then there’s the issue of your brothers being under eighteen-”
His heart dropped to his gut, blind panic now filling the numbness. “You’re not taking them away, are you?” Two-Bit’s hand clenched down on his shoulder. 
“No, no,” the officer said reassuringly. “A social worker will be in touch in a few days.”
Darry nodded. He heard Two-Bit say something else to the officers and then shook their hands with a courteous nod. The police left and Two-Bit and Darry were alone on the front porch. There was still that buzzing in Darry’s ears.
He felt Two-Bit steer him to sit down on the steps, an arm slung around his shoulders. 
Two brought their heads together affectionately and held them like that. Darry took a shuddering breath.
When Ponyboy ran to the bathroom, Johnny followed him immediately. By the time Johnny skidded into the small room, Ponyboy was already hunched over the toilet and retching. Johnny sat down beside him. He put one hand on Pony’s back and rubbed soothing circles. 
What could he possibly say? 
His parents were dead. Johnny felt like crying himself, Mr. and Mrs. Curtis were the closest thing he had to loving parents. But right then, Ponyboy needed him so he had to be strong.
As Pony kept throwing up, he was sobbing too. It was a terrible sound, one that sent chills down Johnny’s spine. He’d never heard his best friend like that, never seen Pony in such despair. Normally when Pony was upset, Soda or Darry would step in, but Darry was talking to the officers and Johnny could hear Soda’s own crying in the living room. He was all Pony had. 
So he wrapped his arms around his friend and pressed his head to his back. Johnny thought of sunshine and swimming in the lake and any happy thoughts. He imagined himself wrapping Pony in those warm thoughts.
After a long while, Pony stopped throwing up. He leaned back and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. He looked at Johnny with red eyes and snot under his nose. “Is this really happening?” Pony’s voice was a hair’s breadth away from breaking. 
“Yeah,” Johnny said, starting to cry then. “Yeah, it is.”
And Pony all but collapsed against Johnny. Johnny held him fast, his cheek resting on Pony’s greased hair as tears made their way down his face.
Soda thrived on affection. So it was no surprise that when he was in his deepest despair, he clung to his best friend. 
Steve’s jacket was covered in snot and tears, but he didn’t say anything. They were curled up on the couch. Steve was pressed against the arm of the couch and Soda was practically sitting in his lap. Soda stopped crying a few minutes ago. Steve ran his fingers through his friend’s hair and held him tight. He’d watch the officers’ car leave, but Two-Bit and Darry remained outside. 
Steve had no idea how long they sat there. Every so often, Soda would ask about Pony or Darry and Steve would reassure him that they were okay and they would be coming back soon. He didn’t know if it was true, for all he knew, Darry had run off just like his mom. Something in Steve’s gut told him it wasn’t true. He worried anyway.
Moments later, the front door opened and Dally marched back in, followed by Two-Bit with his arm around Darry. In Dally’s hands were two greasy bags of fast food. The smell of fries and burgers must have drawn the younger boys because Johnny and Pony emerged from the bathroom. Pony still looked pale and he had a white knuckled grip on Johnny’s hand. 
The second Darry walked in, his two brothers bolted to him and hugged him. Darry’s face was screwed up as he fought not to cry. He squeezed his eyes closed as he embraced the boys.
Two-Bit patted Dally on the shoulder and ducked into the kitchen. He emerged a moment later with plates and glasses of water. As he and Dally made up plates of food, all of them glanced away from the brothers. 
They needed a moment of privacy.
Darry pressed his head to his brothers’ hair. He could feel them shaking, could feel their tears. He inhaled deeply. One minute at a time, that was how he was going to take this. Darry was young and he was scared. Pony and Soda were younger, they were more scared.
He pulled back and put a hand on Soda and Pony’s cheeks, “Come on, let’s sit down and eat.”
Pony wrapped his arms around himself and shook his head, “I’m not hungry.”
“Me neither,” Darry agreed, he ran his thumb along Pony’s cheek. “But it’s getting late and we haven’t eaten. Just a few bites, baby.”
Darry nudged the two of them onto the couch. He wasn’t surprised when they curled up against him, practically sitting on top of him. Two-Bit and Johnny sat down on the couch, Dally taking the chair, and Steve on the floor. Soda moved his feet to rest on Steve’s shoulders. Steve didn’t push them off.
Darry didn’t eat at first, he just watched his brothers and waited for each of them to take a few bites. He had to nudge Pony’s elbow a few times, but eventually he choked down a few fries. Only then did Darry start to eat. 
The house was completely silent, despite being filled with seven boys. 
After they all ate, Darry looked at his brothers. They looked right back at him helplessly, unsure of what to do or how to react. Darry gently instructed Ponyboy to go take a shower and Soda to help Johnny with the dishes. Neither of the boys fought him on it, they just nodded and did as they were told.
Once they were out of the room, Darry looked at Steve, Two-Bit, and Dally, “Y’all don’t need to stay. I-I can-”
“We’re staying.” To his surprise, it was Dally who cut him off. 
Two-Bit nodded, “If you think we’re gonna leave right now, you’re stupid.”
That almost pulled a chuckle out of Darry. He just leaned over and squeezed Two-Bit’s hand, hoping it conveyed how much that meant to him. He knew that the other boys were upset, and had seen them shed tears when they thought the brothers weren’t looking. 
That night, the seven of them slept in the living room. The coffee table was shoved aside to make room for a massive pile of blankets and pillows in front of the TV. Darry watched their friends envelope his younger brothers. Two-Bit nudged Soda until he changed into pajamas. Steve complained about Pony’s wet hair dripping on him, but he scrubbed Pony’s head with a towel anyway. 
Dally kicked Darry’s leg none too gently to force him to look up at him. “I know you’re not gonna sleep, but you should lay down.”
Darry nodded and let himself be bullied into lying down beside Soda. Dally was right, he didn’t sleep and he didn’t think many of the other guys did. The only reason he knew Ponyboy drifted off was because a few hours later, he woke up with a blood curdling scream. 
It took a long while to get Ponyboy calmed down, Soda just held him as tight as he could while Darry looked on helplessly. After that no one got much sleep. 
Morning light crested through the sky and crept in through the windows. Darry looked across the living room. His eyes lingered on every face and the places where they were holding each other up. It was a new day. The first day of his life without his parents. 
71 notes · View notes
captainjamster · 2 months
Note
i absolutely love your underrepresented works!! i think it is so so important for everyone to be able to read something and be able to identify with it!
if you’re still looking for ideas, i’d love to see ftm!reader who uses any terms for their genitalia w anyone!! (totally understandable if not <33)
thank u so freakin much!! u vibe w exactly how i feel - there's always more to write, i wish everyone had smth that represented them directly - without relying on generalisations! this inspired me to start a price x reader who uses any terms so that is now coming out at some point too (if it escapes my 76 other drafts it lives with lol)
Pairing(s): 141 x FtM!Reader w/ no pronouns, chest surgery and bottom growth/t-dick after being on testosterone Warnings: Vaginal sex, creampies, slight objectification (from Soap of course) Wordcount: 1.3k Summary: How the boys react and refer to FtM!reader's genitalia in absence of their preferences. AO3 Link: Right here! <3
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Gaz always asks what you want your genitals to be referred as on the day, even if the response is “whatever you want”. Though he doesn’t particularly care what you’d like him to call it, he cares whether you’re comfortable and if he’s making you feel good not just physically, but mentally too. It’s common of him to peer up at you from between your thighs, lips pressed against them as he trails up them in kisses, mumbling a “what ‘m I workin’ with today, baby?”
Kyle loves going down on you – he spends most of his time there unwinding from deployment, weighed down by the thickness of your thighs and centred by the noises he’s pulling from you with every movement of his tongue.
“Y’want me to suck your cock?” He purrs, watching your hole flutter around nothing at the closeness of his mouth. Your thighs are as slick as between them, wet with his spit and darkened marks that dot constellations across them.
He lavishes your cock, running his tongue along the underside of your glistening clit, tracing the folds and chasing after you as your hips buck in oversensitivity.
“Please, please suck my cock, need it so bad,” he has you chanting, fingers threaded between the thick curls of his hair as you try to tug him closer. You’re worked masterfully to the edge by fingers that know their way around like it’s home, nestled inside your cunt as they rub meticulously against the soft, ribbed grooves of the most sensitive walls, the others working with his tongue to wind up that need in your stomach tighter and tighter.
“Whose pussy is this, huh baby?” He growls after a broad stripe against your heat, flicking his tongue teasingly against the overstimulated nerve. Your cries of his name are rewarded with a hot, wet mouth enveloping your cock, tracing circles at the base teasingly.
“Who gets to take care of this cock?”
The same answer is your respite; you know he just wants to hear the admission again. It’s rewarded with the smooth curls of his fingers as his mouth recaptures your clit, and he has you falling apart in his hands.
-----
Soap’s favourite term for your genitalia is “his hole” or “his toy”, depending on what part he’s giving attention - the man doesn’t care about anatomical reference, because he doesn’t use ‘em. You can call your genitals whatever the fuck you want, as long as it’s his mouth on them at the end of the day.
There’s not a single thing that’ll keep Johnny from between your legs. He’ll get through the front door, dropping everything just to shuffle up behind you, arms wrapping around your waist as his teeth find their favourite spot to sink in your shoulder. “Missed m’toy, y’been good today? Taken care of ‘em for me?”
He’ll beg you to let him check his babies - he whines, petulant and needy, grinding the growing hardness against your ass to emphasise his point. “C’mon lass, lemme see m’hole - cannae keep me away from m’pet, dinnae y’were so cruel!”
When you finally give in, spreading your legs for him as he hurriedly tugs your underwear off, his response is almost embarrassing despite how long he’s been doing it. Johnny drops to his knees, cooing at the swollen nub that peaks out from your slick-shined folds, like the goddamn thing missed him – though with the way it throbs at his words, maybe he’s not entirely far off.
It isn’t long before his fingers are tracing along the wet skin, occasionally brought back to his mouth to lick up the mess he captures before returning to the same movements, petting the skin as he mumbles praises and appreciation. “Bonnie thing, all needy for me, aye?”
His check starts out as innocent as such a situation could – caresses that aren’t meant to stir the flame slowly burning between your loins, but to admire between your legs. Yet you can’t stop your body from reacting to the stimulation, and he can’t stop his body reacting to you. You both know where it’s going – a check is never a check, because Johnny can’t hold himself back. But every time, you end up bent over with him filling you up anyway.
-----
Ghost just uses whatever falls from his lips, delivered by his lust-addled brain. You don’t care, he doesn’t care – it’s perfect. His usage is based on what he’s doing to you; he’ll tell you how sweet your tight little pussy is around him as he pushes your head down into the pillow, or how good your cock feels against his as he grinds the tip up against your swollen, sensitive clit, engorged with growth from your testosterone.
“Gonna cum in this gorgeous fuckin’ twat”, he huffs against the crook of your neck, “gonna play with that prick ‘n make you cum too.”
His hands run over the scarring of your chest, running parallels with those decorating his skin, scars against scars that you hope will tangle your lives together until they decay. One of them drops lower, seeking out the pulsating need between your legs, his big fingers finding your cock and rubbing circles against the head.
“Such a good bloody pet, lettin’ me ruin you.” Ghost’s dick pries you open, bulging forcefully against your walls with each thrust, fucking you closer and closer to seeing stars. The desire within you reaches a crescendo of gasps and moans that Simon captures with his lips, muffling them amongst his own as he brings you to pieces.
His favourite way to cum is pulling out right on the edge, wrapping a calloused hand around his shaft to pump it roughly, to rub the tip against your own until it spurts thick, white cum. He spends the comedown telling you how good it looks covered in his cum, lapping it up until his cock has stiffened enough for another round.
-----
Price, in my mind, is absolutely filthy with the terms he uses. He’s suggesting things that make you wonder just what the fuck he does in his free time – “hey doll, have you heard bussy before?”
He sees your lack of preference and raises the opportunity to explore; why not fuck around and find out? It’s almost a game for him – two fingers deep in your cunt, muttering terms against the flushed heat of your thighs, feeling how you flutter in response to each one.
He particularly likes boycunt and girldick when he stumbles across them; the contrary combination of two terms designed to capture and enforce those binary confines is both exciting and satisfying to him. Some of them make him cringe – sorry, princess wand – but ultimately, he’s just trying to find something you like being called.
“Needed a good fuckin’ – ah, shit – shag this week.” His breath fans over the sweat-slicked skin of your shoulder, kissing the bitemarks one of the boys have left. “Sick o’ these fuckin’ muppets, jus’ need my good little lamb to make me feel better, huh?”
You’re tired, sore and sleepy from the orgasms he’s already pulled out of you, but the vocalisation of his need still ignites weak sparks of lust that have you fluttering around him as you mewl in compliance. You preen under his need and praise as he ruts into you, hands roaming across your body. “Gonna let me cum in you, love? Fill up this hole?”
The whines and whimpers of encouragement you emit are his fuel, growling as he builds up a slow pace again. “Such a nice, hot boypussy just to keep me wet, yeah? Made just for warming my cock.”
He mumbles filth between each needy thrust, hips flush with your ass each time he sinks back into you, and the repetitive contrast of full to almost empty as his head notches against your entrance is overwhelming. “Lemme rub that girldick, c’mon baby, let me make y’feel good.”
You’re so close that just a few touches have you crumbling, spasming around his length as he curses, forehead buried against your shoulder while he follows suit. John’s favourite part of sex is this bit – curled up, sweaty and panting, whispering praise against your skin until you’re ready to go again.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
headers and dividers from saradika-graphics
53 notes · View notes
sanguineterrain · 1 year
Note
Jason or Dick with a reader with social anxiety? 😊
sure!! dick grayson x gn!reader | tw anxiety, mild panic attack, dick comforts reader. also i know basically nothing about the young justice league so if anything's inaccurate my b
****
"You're gonna love them," Dick says, squeezing your knee, one hand on the steering wheel.
You smile tightly. Luckily, his eyes are on the road.
"I'm sure I will."
You loving them isn't the problem. It's the other way around.
The Young Justice League is so big now, too. You can't remember most of their names.
Okay. Artemis, Wally... Superboy. What's his name? You can't ask Dick, that's embarrassing. Shit. You should've had him text you all the names earlier so you could work on memorizing them.
You're so busy sifting through the members in your head that you don't notice Dick has parked. He hops out, already a ball of energy. You're more sluggish, dragging yourself out of your seat.
Dick quickly tugs you into his side as you walk to the elevator. You feel a little better when he rubs your shoulder, but as soon as he starts talking about his friends, your heartbeat quickens.
"...They've wanted to meet you for a while! I've talked their ears off about you. I think that—"
Ding! The elevator doors slide open.
Your mouth goes dry at the sight before you. Everyone's here. Jesus Christ. You thought you'd get introduced slowly. Especially on a Saturday afternoon—doesn't the world need saving? Why are they all here?
"Dickie!" Wally says, speeding over and yanking Dick into a hug. Dick hugs back, and you'd fawn over how sweet your boyfriend and his best friend are if your chest didn't hurt.
"Hey, Walls. Hi, everybody," Dick says, smiley and relaxed. "This is my partner."
Everybody looks at you.
You've always been jealous of how easily Dick can interact with people. Luckily, he's never tried to rope you into one of Bruce's charity functions ("oh, babe, I love you too much to do that to you!") When you're out and about, you flail in any social situation. But Dick? Dick is a natural. A born charmer. Everybody loves him.
You feel like you're going to throw up.
"So you're the saint who's dealing with Grayson," Artemis says, a hint of a smirk on her face.
Dick rolls his eyes. "You're dating Wally."
"Hey!" Wally squawks, then zooms to Artemis for a consolation kiss.
"You're a civilian," Superboy (damn it, what's his name?!) says, expression stiff.
You nod, unsure. "Um. Yeah, I am."
"How'd you meet?" someone else asks.
"Uh, well-"
"Wait, Dick said you've been dating for six months. How the hell did you hide your relationship for that long?"
"He and I-"
"They are overwhelmed," M'gann says suddenly, squinting at you. "Their heart is beating faster than normal."
You flinch at her knowing gaze. The chest pain has upgraded from moderate to is-this-a-heart-attack?
You turn to Dick. His smile slips as soon as you look at him.
"Baby?" he asks.
Escape. You need to escape.
"I-I need to use the bathroom," you blurt.
You run out of the kitchen before anyone can say anything. Tears form, and you blink them away quickly.
You can't find the bathroom, which is doubly embarrassing, so you end up going into the stairwell and wedging yourself into the corner of the landing, knees to your chest.
Okay. Grounding techniques. Take five slow breaths. Identify five things you can feel. Your jeans. Your shoes. The cool wall against your back. Two more.
The door swings open. You close your eyes. If one of those super-powered people who've probably never had a panic attack in their life finds you huddled pathetically in the stairwell, you'll never live it down.
You'll have to break up with Dick. You can picture the disappointed crinkle of his brow, the pinch of his mouth. He expected more of you, no doubt.
"Oh, baby," a voice says, and then you're being pulled into strong arms.
You wince, not opening your eyes. Your breaths are still too fast.
Of course your detective boyfriend figured out you weren't in the bathroom.
"I'm sorry," you say, burying your face into his arm. "This is so stupid, I—"
"It's not stupid," Dick says and coaxes you to look at him. "Anxiety isn't stupid. Was it too much, meeting everyone at once?"
You sniffle miserably. "You literally work with superheroes, Dick. I know I'm such a letdown. Someone learns that Dick Grayson, the Nightwing, is dating someone, and-and you expect alien royalty or a billionaire heir or something. Somebody more than me. And then I fucking freak over meeting some new people."
You scowl. "Some partner I am."
Dick looks heartbroken. He pulls you closer, rubbing your back.
"I didn't know you felt this way," he says quietly. "Some partner I am."
You shake your head. "No, it's not like I tried to tell you. I just—I wanted to be normal, D. I wanted to be a good partner. I didn't want my stupid anxiety to get in the way. And it's clear you love those guys so much, and you were so excited to introduce us..."
"Sweetheart, I love you too. Your feelings and comfort are important. If I'd known it was too much, I wouldn't have dragged you here. We could've waited or introduced you slowly."
Tears well up. "God, Dick, I just wish I could be like you. You're always so good at this stuff."
"Aw, baby." Dick tenderly kisses your cheek. "That's the product of years of media training. I don't like crowds either. I mean, I like people, but I get overwhelmed, too. We all do. Not like my family's much better. Jason doesn't like unfamiliar places. He has to case out a new restaurant at least three days in advance."
"Jason was dead for two years. He has an excuse."
"Okay, point," Dick allows. "But seriously, honey, we're all like that. B despises those parties he goes to. He's always exhausted afterward. It's all smoke and mirrors. The team has their tough moments too. And the way you feel isn't stupid. I'm sorry I wasn't more attentive to it."
You sit like that in silence for a while, Dick hugging you. Slowly, your heart rate returns to normal. You start to feel more regulated.
"Wanna go home?" he asks gently.
You shake your head.
"No, I wanna meet them. But..." You groan into his shoulder. "I totally made a fool of myself."
"No, you didn't. It's okay. I promise they don't think any less of you. They were worried, actually. And I told them to take it easy with the interrogation."
Dick slips his hand into yours and squeezes. You take a deep breath.
"Okay," you say. "Let's do it."
Dick smiles. "Alright. I got you the whole time, love."
256 notes · View notes
blue-slxt · 1 year
Text
Our Song Cord: Can't Help Falling
(Chapter 2)
🔞Minors Do Not Interact🔞
A/N: I know I said it was gonna be up this morning, but I got caught up with other shit lol. So here it is. Things start to heat up a little in this chapter. I have a soft spot for virgin characters. I think I just really identify with all the curiosity and nerves that come with discovering all this stuff lol. This is also one of the longest chapters I've ever written for anything. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy! Every chapter title is a song reference so if you know the song, you get a cookie. I really really appreciate feedback so comments and reblogs are heavily encouraged. All characters are aged up.
Series Masterlist
Previous Part | Next Part
Pairing: Neteyam x Fem!Omatikaya!Reader
Warnings: Friends to Lovers, Cheating? (depends on how you look at it), Fingering, Oral (M receiving), Heat Cycle, Masturbation (briefly), I think that's all.
Word Count: 5.7k
Summary: You and Neteyam have mastered the basics and feel like it's time to move on to the next step.
For the next week or so, you and Neteyam continue with your “training” sessions. You never really go farther than what you’ve already done. You know, just to make sure you both really have it down. On more than a couple occasions, you had to explain away little purple marks that Neteyam would leave littered around your jaw, neck, and chest after getting carried away.
“Just got a little too rough while we were sparring.” You’d laugh it off when questioned.
“Neteyam, you need to learn how to pull some of your punches, skxawng!” Kiri would chide him.
Once you both feel like you have a real handle on what you’re doing, Neteyam tells you how he’s finally going to put all his practice to good use. He’s finally going to try making out with Layao. You send him off with an encouraging smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes and a sinking feeling in your gut, but still words of reassurance all the same. It was almost as if you were nervous for him. But there was no reason to be nervous. He was good, really good. Neteyam had mastered the art of making you breathless with just a kiss in a matter of no time. He really was a prodigy. He was going to completely sweep her off her feet, no question about it. But maybe, that was the reason for the nerves.
Still, his excitement as he recounted his eventful night with her was contagious.
“You should have seen me! I did it just like how we practiced. And she looked almost as pretty as you do when we were done.”
He may not have caught it, but you certainly did. Your brain can’t help but hyper-fixate on the use of the word ‘almost’, but you tuck that away into the background to mull over later. For now, you were listening to your best friend eagerly tell you all about his conquest while pushing away the growing nausea in your gut.
“That’s great, Teyam. I told you, you’re a natural.” You say offering him a genuine smile.
“Well, it’s not like I can take all the credit.” He says nudging your shoulder with his. A sheepish smile crosses your lips. “So, I was thinking that we should move on to more advanced stuff since we seem to have the basics down now, don’t you think?” he suggests.
It causes you to pause momentarily thinking about the more “advanced” interactions the two of you could have with each other. “O-oh, yea. Definitely. It’s like you read my mind.” You try to play it off as if your mind isn’t screaming at you right now.
“Great, then I will see you tonight.” His charming smile is almost too gorgeous to look at right now. There’s no way anyone could convince you that Neteyam wasn’t one of Eywa’s favorites.


“Alright, so what are we trying tonight?” you ask leaning your back against a nearby tree. Neteyam’s hands clenched and relaxed at his sides which he often did when he was nervous about something. Your own anxiety feeds off of his as your eyes watch him carefully and he tries to build up the courage to say his idea out loud.
“Well
we already have everything sorted out up top
” his hands quickly gesture to your chest and his eyes fall to look at the ground instead of your face. “S-so, I thought it might be time to move
you know
lower” his voice is basically a whisper by the time he finishes his sentence. Your legs instinctively squeeze together and you suddenly feel extremely vulnerable just even thinking about his hands down there. Neteyam seems to notice your slight change in posture. “We don’t have to, though, if you don’t feel ready to try that yet.” The words tumble out of his mouth so fast you would think it was all one long word.
“No no no, it’s fine. I’m just maybe a little nervous.” You admit letting your gaze follow his to the ground. Your ears fall to your head hoping the ground would swallow you to save you from this incredibly vulnerable feeling brewing in your chest. Neteyam takes a few steps towards where you were still perched against the tree until he was close enough to hold your face and make you look back up at him. His face was close enough for you to catch the faint reflection of your tanhì in his gorgeous honey-colored eyes.
“I’ll be gentle.”
You’re not sure if it’s the low tone of his voice dancing around your ears, the way his thumb stroked your cheek, or just the sheer proximity, but something had your body buzzing all over like a million bees.
“I know you will, Teyam. Just
kiss me first? To help ease me into it.” It’s incredibly embarrassing to ask for it, but right now, your want far outweighed your embarrassment.
His hand stays planted against your cheek when he leans in and kisses you. His body presses into yours and his other hand familiarly lands on your hip. You let your mind get lost in the moment. So lost that you don’t even feel when your own arms drape around his neck and hold him close to you. It’s as if your body is moving on its’ own carrying out your deepest desires without you needing to tell it what to do. Your legs part allowing his body to slot right into place. The throbbing between your thighs is growing by the second.
You take hold of his hand on your hip and move it lower to the waistband of your loincloth. Neteyam breaks the kiss to look down at his hand and then back at your face. You give the tiniest nod of your head to encourage him to continue and his fingers trail under your loincloth and come into direct contact with your core. His ears and eyebrows both shoot up feeling you for the first time.
“It’s so warm and slippery.” He says experimentally dragging his fingers through your folds.
“That’s how it’s supposed to be” you try to ignore the shakiness of your voice as it leaves your throat. “The most important part is the clit.” His fingers go still against you while he looks at you listening intently.
“It’s a small little nub near the top. It’s really sensitive and you’re going to want to really get familiar with it.” You explain feeling your face get hot.
He pulls his fingers forward until he reaches the little bud that makes you squeak when he presses against it. “That’s it.” A small smile crosses his lips momentarily before he speaks again.
“So, now what do I do?” “Well, everybody likes something different, but you usually can’t go wrong with just rubbing little circles into it.” You could really only speak from your own experience of nights that you had done this to yourself.
“Like this?” his finger harshly pushes against your clit and it makes you jump.
“A little softer. Not so much pressure, okay? It’s a really sensitive spot so you don’t want to do it too hard.”
He nods his head processing your advice. He lightens his touch and tentatively rubs circles around and around on your clit. Fuck, he was perfect at this already. After that one quick adjustment, his pressure and speed were nothing short of flawless. “Mmf
haah th-that’s good. Just like that
” your knees buckle under you and if it weren’t for the tree you were pressed against, you probably would’ve been on the ground already. Your head falls back to the tree and your eyes close silently praying that you could live in this moment that you’ve dreamt about countless times forever. Small mewls and moans pass your lips under his touch.
Neteyam is trying desperately to ignore the way his own dick is throbbing in his loincloth listening to the sounds you’re making. He does his best to ensure that he’s putting forth his best effort to make you feel good. And fuck, was he making you feel good. The pleasure overtakes any sense of logic that you may have been holding onto.
“M-more
”
Neteyam looks at you with eyelids already starting to hood his eyes.
“I
I want to feel you inside
” your cheeks burn saying it out loud, but it feels as if you might be devoured whole by your desire if you don’t feel him where your need is the strongest.
“Are you sure? I mean, you’re okay with—”
“Mhm
please, Teyam
”
His ears twitch in your direction at your sensual pleas and his dick twitches begging to be the one that fills you. He cautiously moves his fingers between your folds that were now dripping down his knuckles. When he reaches your entrance, he lightly probes at you with one of his fingers making you clench around nothing until he finally pushes inside. His jaw drops open feeling the way your walls suck his finger right in and envelope him in a feeling of slippery warmth.
It feels like your breathing stutters in your throat as his finger stretches you. His finger was so much bigger than your own and you’ve never been more aware of that fact than right now as he unintentionally pressed the pad of his finger against the spongey part of your walls.
“Mm!” you do your best to muffle your sounds
“Is this okay?” his voice conveys his concern, but his eyes hold only a lusty haze while they jump around from your eyes to your lips and chest and between your thighs that sat spread for him.
“Y-yea
now, just angle your finger towards the front and move in and out slowly.”
“Like this?” he slowly pulls his finger out just to the top knuckle and then sinks back in at just the angle you need.
“Ahh
yea, right there” You don’t mean for it to sounds as enticing as it comes out, but Neteyam can feel his self-restraint slipping away. He can’t stop himself from attaching his lips to their favorite spot on your neck and nipping little bites into your soft skin. His finger never stops thrusting up into you and your legs are starting to feel like jelly beneath you.
Your arms hold tight around his neck to help keep you upright. It’s almost automatic the way your leg hikes up around his waist to give his hand even more access to you.
“Nete~
” you call out completely not meaning to. You’ve never called him that name. The only people who called him that were girls in the clan hoping to catch his attention with their sweet voices and swishing tails. He always said it was embarrassing, but in this moment, hearing it roll off your lips, it makes him groan against your skin.
“Say it again
need
need to hear you
” his voice is breathy and his words broken between his heavy breathing that fans your jaw line as he continues kissing everywhere he can reach.
You weren’t expecting that kind of response, but you comply regardless.
“Nete
oh, Great Mother, I’m going to cum!” your body tightens its hold on him pressing his body right up against you hoping it’ll anchor you to this plane of existence. This was nothing like doing it to yourself and now you wonder how you’ve managed to go this long without the touch of another person. And you think that you never want to be without this feeling ever again.
His cheek is pressed right up against your own and his free hand gropes at your breast. It takes the last thread of his sanity to not scent you right now as he feels your impending climax threatening to strangle his finger right off his hand.
“Haah
go ahead, let me feel it.” His voice is right next to your ear sending shivers down your spine. Almost on command, the knot in your body snaps and you cum with trembling legs and a small, almost silent scream from your mouth. Your nails leave deep purple indents on his skin from where you’re holding onto him and even Neteyam lets out a small moan feeling your walls convulse around him as you ride out your high. His hands go still against you when you come down and he pulls his face back to look at you.
Looking up at Neteyam right now, you can’t seem to bring your brain to recognize him as your best friend that you’ve known since before you could remember, but instead, you see a gorgeous man hovering just inches away from your face who’s gazing down at you like he wants to give you the world and you want to let him.
Neither of you say a word when he carefully slides his finger out of you and holds his hand up to examine how his skin glistens in the moonlight covered in your slick that’s still trickling down his hand.
Neteyam isn’t sure what kind of compulsion came over him that moment, but with no hesitation, he brings his finger to his lips and licks it clean before you can find the words to protest. Your ears pin to your head but you feel physically unable to look away from him. He moans lowly at the taste of you on his finger.
“You taste sweet.”
Somehow, you are equal parts mortified and turned on. Your eyes want to fall to the ground, but they get distracted at the tenting of his loincloth. You let one of your hands fall from his shoulder to palm him through the fabric. He sucks in a sharp breath at the contact.
“You don’t have to do that.”
You look up at his face, “I want to.”
It takes a second for the implications of your words to really settle in your mind.
“I-I mean, I need to learn how to do this too, you know
” A lie. Truth was, you were so desperate to have him right now, you thought you might actually go insane. But of course, you’d never be able to tell that to him, you can barely even tell it to yourself.
There’s only a thick silence as Neteyam resigns himself to you and lets you undo the knot holding his loincloth around his hips. The fabric falls to the ground and
oh, fuck, Neteyam really was Eywa’s favorite. It’s not like you really knew what was considered average, but you had a general idea from the talk amongst the other girls in the clan. And Neteyam was far above average. Just something else to make him even more perfect.
You sink to your knees in front of him and Neteyam is simultaneously thankful for the dark so that you can’t see the flush of his cheeks, but he also curses it as it prevents him from seeing you clearly the way he really wants to right now.
“S-so, do I just
grab it?” you finally pull your eyes back up to his face waiting for him to guide you in what to do.
“Um, well, first, you should spit in your hand.” His voice is low, clearly embarrassed about explaining this kind of thing. You cock an eyebrow at him feeling skeptical about what he’s asking you to do. “It helps your hand slide smoother.”
You know that Neteyam would never intentionally lead you astray, so you do ask he says and let a long stream of saliva fall into your palm. His big hand holds your wrist and guides your hand to wrap around his length. It’s firm just like the muscles in his arms and it’s heavy in your hand.
“Just slowly move your hand like this
” his hand gently moves yours back and forth along him. After a couple of experimental strokes, he removes his hand and lets you continue on your own. It feels so
indecent, but also strangely thrilling.
“Is this good?”
“Mm
yea, you can do it a little tighter.” He says trying to keep his voice from wavering. You add some more pressure to your hold while still keeping your rhythm and Neteyam lets out a shaky breath. You’ve been watching his face the whole time, but when he makes eye contact with you, your chest squeezes feeling overwhelmed. So, you choose to focus on your hand instead. Watching the repetitive stroke of your hand and how his tip disappears into your palm only to poke back through feels like falling into a trance. A trance so deep that it removes any and all semblance of sanity you may have still had. Your mouth starts to salivate and drool down your chin which you wipe away with the back of your free hand.
It’s not enough. You need more. You want to give him more. It’s almost as if you’re watching yourself, but you can’t do anything to stop when you gently take him into your mouth. He’s so big, it’s a wonder how it would ever fit inside of your pussy. But fuck, if you didn’t want to make it fit.
“Haah
w-wait
” Neteyam’s voice is shaky and breathless being completely caught off guard by the all-encompassing warmth that now wrapped around him. He almost wants to tell you not to push yourself and that you don’t have to go this far tonight. Almost. But when his eyes find yours looking up at him big and glazed over with over half of his dick in your mouth, he is absolutely powerless to stop you.
You’re not entirely sure what to do besides just moving your head up and down. You try to incorporate your tongue by licking and dragging here and there. From what you can tell from his face and the sounds he’s making, the tip feels the best especially when you drag your tongue from the underside of it to the slit.
“A-ah fuck”
His hips are twitching and his muscles tense and relax while you work on him. Your desire to make him feel good drives you to try and fit more of him in your mouth. His tip pokes and prods at the back of your throat and it’s so thick, you can’t hold it there for more than a second or two before you need to pull back for air. But the way that it makes his chin drop to his chest and his eyes squeeze shut while he moans out praises for you makes it worth it.
“Hng
just like that”
He looks like he’s close and you were determined to get him there. You push him to the back of your throat again and his dick twitches inside of your mouth.
“Ah, I’m going to cum!” his eyes shoot open to watch you while you coax his release out of him.
You pop your mouth off of him and pump him with your fist right in front of your face.
“Wait, y-your face
” he starts, but you couldn’t care less.
“It’s okay. Just let go, Nete.” That’s all it took and he was done for. His release comes out in hot, thick ropes of white that spill over your hand and shoot onto your mouth and chin. His head falls back as he cums with a loud groan and a force that damn near knocks him off of his feet.
When he’s done, you release your hold on him and just stare in awe at the remnants of him on your hand. He looks down at you trying to find his breath and sees how you let your tongue swipe across your bottom lip to taste him.
It takes every ounce of focus he just regained to not get hard again from watching you.
“Hmm
tastes like utumauti. It’s nice.” you say letting the flavor dance around your tongue.
Neteyam quickly pulls his loincloth back on and pulls a piece of cloth from a satchel on his side.
“Here, let me help wipe you off.” He says kneeling in front of you.
“You know you don’t have to do that, Teyam.” You subconsciously revert to your regular nickname for him.
“I know, but it only feels right.” He says already grabbing your hand and swiping away the mess. This man was too sweet for his own good. Your heart can’t help but ache a bit at watching it go to waste, but you bite your tongue and settle for the ghost of the flavor still in your mouth. When he’s done with your hand, he reaches out to your face and starts wiping it off too. His eyes stay focused on the areas where he’s wiping, but your eyes are admiring his features in the soft glow of the moonlight. Neteyam has always been good looking, but he’s more than just handsome. He’s beautiful. He’s the kind of pretty that hurts to look at for too long. The kind that makes your heart flutter and ache with a burning need. And the kind that makes you greedily want to keep him all to yourself.
And then it clicks. When he notices you staring and his eyes meet yours, the pieces fit together. You love this man. You have always loved him. All these years, what you thought was just admiration for his work ethic, humming his song cord to yourself when you went about your day, the way your heart thundered when he would wrap you in one of his legendary hugs, all of it
was love.
And you wouldn’t come to know this until much later, but Neteyam realized the same exact thing in that same moment.
He’s the first to break the eye contact clearing his throat. “I think that’s all of it.”
“Thanks.” There’s a long moment of silence while the weight of everything sits on both of your chests. “Um, I think that’s good for tonight. Good work. I’m sure you’ll do great with Layao.” Her name brings a sharp sting to your chest, but you do your best to push the feeling away.
“Right. Right. Thanks. Um, you did good too. Were you planning on putting all your practice to use any time soon?”
You truly hadn’t actually thought about that part. Neteyam already had an intended mate that he was practicing for. But what about you? You didn’t have any solid prospects since everyone in the clan always thought you and Neteyam would end up together. You had never seriously considered what this would actually mean for you in terms of finding a mate.
“O-oh yea. There’s somebody I have in mind.” Another lie.
Neteyam presses his lips into a line nodding at you. “Well, he’s lucky.” He doesn’t bother to press you about who this mystery man is because he knows that if he finds out who it is, he wouldn’t be able to look at him without forever feeling the bitter pang of jealousy.
“We should probably start heading back.” You suggest finally standing to your feet. “I’ll head back first.”
“Right. See you later.” He says unable to pry his eyes away from the sway of your hips on your retreating figure.


“Let me guess, more training?” Kiri says gesturing to the small purple marks left from your previous night.
You laugh a little trying not to give away the flashsbacks playing through your mind. “You know it.” “I swear, for someone so even tempered, Neteyam really needs to learn how to hold back more.” She says grinding some herbs together.
“It’s fine. It’s not his fault. I kinda spur him on, I guess.”
“Well, you’d better start fighting back harder. He hardly ever has a mark on him.” She says finally walking over to you with a small sack of various herbs and placing it in your hands.
“I’ll make a note of that” you say giggling a bit. “Thanks for these.” “You know, I don’t know why you won’t just find a guy to help you through your heat. It would be much better and more effective than any of these herbs. Especially since they’ll start to be less effective over time.” She says kind of rolling her eyes at you.
“Yeah, yeah, so you’ve mentioned before. I don’t know. I just haven’t found the right guy that does it for me yet.” You shrug your shoulders and try to control the blush trying to creep into your face and stand to leave.
“Oh, wait before you go” a less familiar voice calls out to you. It’s Layao walking over to you with a giddy smile. “What kind of things does Neteyam like? I want to make him something, but I can’t decide what he’d like best. I figured since you know him better than anyone, I should ask you for your opinion.”
She was right, you did know him better than anyone. Even better than anyone would ever know.
“Oh, well, he likes yovo fruit and arm bands. You can’t really go wrong with those.” The tightening of your chest is nearly strangling the breath right out of you. You can’t, and won’t, stand in the way of what was already decided.
“Yovo and arm bands. Got it. Thank you.” She says before walking back over to her corner of the healing tent.
It’s a harsh reminder of the fact that you stupidly realized far too late that you loved the man you couldn’t have. You dismiss the thoughts with a quick shake of your head and start on the path home.
You have to prepare. Your heat will be here soon and you needed to ensure that you have enough food and water and supplies to get you through. Cycle after cycle you would writhe in agony on the floor of your home for days on end. From what you’ve heard, having a partner makes your heat pass much quicker. And it’s not like it was uncommon for young Na’vi to explore sex with many partners before mating, but that just wasn’t what you wanted. You didn’t want it to just be whatever willing participant you could stumble upon.
Looking around your home right now, you’re realizing that you may not have enough utumauti. It’s your favorite during your cycles and even though you have a hefty amount, knowing how quickly you can go through those, you felt like it would be best to air on the side of caution and get more.
On your way out into the forest, you bump into Aykxo.
“Oh, hey. Sorry, I didn’t see you down there.” He jokes. Even for a Na’vi, Aykxo was tall. Tall enough to see clear over your head without trying. He probably actually didn’t see you.
You readjust your top and reassure him that it’s fine.
“You’re Neteyam’s friend, right?” he asks.
Your eyes squint at him a bit in confusion, but also suspicion. “Yeah, I am. Why?”
“Are you
just his friend?” You don’t miss the way his eyes quickly scan your body up and down. Okay, so that’s where this was going.
“Yup. We are just friends.” It makes you cringe to say out loud. It’s not technically a lie. It was true that, officially, you and Neteyam were only best friends and as far as anybody else knew, that’s all you were. But in truth, you were something more to each other, no matter how hard either of you may try to justify the turn in your relationship with the ‘training’ excuse.
“Good to know. Then, you wouldn’t mind maybe meeting me later after eclipse?” His hand trails down the side of your arm to your hand where he takes hold of it. He certainly is bold. The act is enough to give you chills, but not in the same way that you’re used to.
You can feel a pair of eyes burning holes into you and when you find the source of the searing gaze, it’s none other than your ‘just friend’, Neteyam standing near the opening of the healing tent with Layao and Kiri. Layao has her arms wrapped securely around Neteyam’s arm while her head rests on his shoulder and she talks with Kiri. Neteyam is clearly uninterested in whatever they were talking about and was much more curious about your conversation.
You finally turn back to Aykxo, “Yeah, sounds nice.”
He smiles and kisses your hand before continuing in the direction he was originally headed. You decided you need to at least try to give other guys a chance. And Aykxo was handsome and a good hunter and all. After all, this is what you’ve been preparing for, isn’t it?


“So, I saw you talking with Aykxo earlier.” Neteyam starts to inquire. He decided soon after the encounter to join you on your hunt for more utumauti.
“Yeah, I guess he wants to meet later tonight after eclipse. I told him I’d come, but I don’t know. I’m kind of nervous about it.” You do your best to sound at least casual instead of disinterested. If you would have turned to look at Neteyam, you would’ve noticed how his gaze grew shifty.
“Were you planning to try
?” his words trail off implying what he wants to say without actually saying it.
“I don’t know. I haven’t really decided yet.”
“You know he’s going to fall in love with you if you do, right?” He keeps picking fruit, but you whip around to look at him with slightly wider eyes.
“How do you figure?” You ask cocking your head at him.
“I mean if you do what you did before, no man in his right mind could not fall in love with you.”
Your heart skips a beat. And then another. Your mouth gets stuck open waiting to find words to form around. Clearly, the insinuation of his statement hits you far before it hits him since he just continues gathering until he notices your silence and turns to see your stunned expression.
“I-I mean, you know, not trying to say—just, what I mean is
you were just really good is what I was trying to say.” His words are jumbled and stuttering and his face is a deep purple while he tries to avoid eye contact with you right now. You can’t help the grin that slides across your face watching this adorably goofy man lose his composure.
“What about you? You and Layao definitely looked very cozy today”, you taunt. “You might not even have to do anything more to get her to be head over heels for you.”
He chuckles lowly to himself, “You may be right. Still, I want to make sure that I’m prepared for anything.”
“Of course.”
“Anyways, do you really think this many utumauti is reasonable? Your heat is only 3 days, you have enough to last an average family for a week!” he exaggerates, but he does this every time you’re gathering supplies for your heat.
“You know it’s my favorite. It’s basically the only thing I eat for those 3 whole days. I need a lot of it.”
“If you say so, but this still seems excessive if you ask me. There’s no way anyone can eat this much in just 3 days.”
“Don’t underestimate me, Teyam. You know me better than that.” You tsk at him waving your finger.


It feels like your nerves are going to eat you alive walking with Aykxo through the forest tonight. Neteyam had sent you off with an encouraging smile and the reminder to “blow him away”. You rolled your eyes at his stupid joke, but it did help in somewhat easing the tension that had made a home in your gut.
Your hand feels clammy letting Aykxo lead you through the night. Or maybe that’s just in your mind. But your whole body feels off kilter with the anticipation. Soon, you both reach a small clearing and you let out a small yelp when he suddenly pulls you into his arms and holds you against his chest.
“O-oh, uh
” you start, but Aykxo is clearly uninterested in talking as he starts to attack your neck with kisses and licks and nips. He groans against your skin letting his hands roam up and down your body.
Even though your mind is completely taken aback, your body erupts in goosebumps all over and you feel hot. You don’t want this, but why is your body behaving like it does? When you try to turn your head away from him, your balance feels shaky, at best. That’s when it hits you, your heat is here. It shouldn’t be here already. You should have another few days. But it seems to have other plans for you.
Home. You need to get home right this instant. You place your hands against Aykxo’s chest and gently push him back off of you. When he looks at you, he’s clearly confused about why you stopped him.
“I’m sorry, I just
I thought we were just going to talk. Um, I think I need to go.” You say fighting your body’s urge to submit to the nearest living being. If you were on day 2 or 3, you might be desperate enough to give in, but his pheromones are slightly off-putting to your nose. They’re not the worst, but not enough to make you want him this close to you right now.
“But I thought—” he says, but you don’t let him finish. You don’t have the time to listen to the rest of his sentence.
“I’m so sorry. I really just need to go.” You say already backing out of his hold and turning to run back home. Of course, you feel bad leaving him there high and dry and clearly giving him the wrong impression, but that’s something to worry about later when you can actually control your mind and body. For now, your main focus is hiding away at home and riding out these next 3 excruciating days.
You sprint home as fast as your feet will carry you and a blink of relief hits you when it finally comes into view. You break through the opening and fall onto your sleep mat trying to catch your breath. The itch is starting to creep in much stronger than is usual for your first day. Your body is calling out for relief. You let your fingers crawl under your loincloth and between your legs to hopefully find some comfort. When your fingers slip between your wet folds, it makes your ears twitch with curiosity when the name that slips past your lips is ‘Neteyam’

Taglist: @soleilmoon @netemoon @fifia-writes @strangersav11
@eywascall @neteyamsluvts @heart-an0n @iman-lu @xylianasblog @theunfortunateplace @hyejusdiary @savvysscandles @randxmthxughts @tiredmamaissy @yeosxxx @atwow69 @bellstwd @iseeyouuu @simp4ff @universal-s1ut @mynameisjuno @teyamsatan @uaze123 @nelissecrectplace  @angrypomeranianwifey @perfectxserendipity @yumimak @rainbowturdz @rhiannonhippiegirl @sullymenrhot @hiddensnow1 @rainymoonsheep @ivysully @badbussylol @afro-hispwriter @fandom-geek17 @teyamsmate @iameatingmyhair
(Let me know if you want to be added or removed from the taglist. If your tag isn't working, please check your settings.)
316 notes · View notes
silkcloud03 · 1 year
Text
✧. ┊     WHEN YOU ARE OVERWORKED FROM WORK/ASSIGNMENTS.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
◩ warnings(?) ◩
→ reader does leaned more towards gn/non-binary people to people who identify as masculine or male! so people that identify as (she\her)’s or (she\they)’s dni because this is for the male audience. :]
→ overworking, stress (albedo).
→ anxiety, insomnia (kaeya).
→ forgetting meals, prioritizing workload over health (diluc).
→ some harassment and slight description of a panic attack (venti).
→ some characters may be a bit ooc! i also might be doing different parts to this for each region! if i have missed any warnings i may or not forgotten to mention; pls feel free to let me know^^ but overall there’s comfort and fluff.đŸ«¶đŸ«¶đŸ«¶
◀━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━◄
Tumblr media
◣━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━◱
╰┈➀ [MONDSTADT MEN]
┈ ┈ ┈ ⋞ 〈 ⏣ âŒȘ ⋟ ┈ ┈ ┈
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ KAEYA ALBERICH *ੈ✩‧₊˚
-gentle tapping on the glass from incoming rain can be heard through the quick scribbling off the quill pen on parchment. the sound of laughter & echoing throughout the halls of the knights of favonius. retiring for the night to grab some dinner for their famished bodies after a long day of patrolling, reporting & training. even though this would be a perfect to sit back and relish in; you currently aren’t really in the position to even enjoy anything of the sorts.
-you glanced up at the clock & saw that it was two hours after your shift but it looks like you won’t be finishing up any time soon with the mountain of paperwork in front of you that the acting grand master placed on your mahogany coloured desk since she trusted to you to finish on her behalf because an emergency arose that needed her immediate attention.
-you sighed as you continued on with your work. “it’s not like there’s anyone else around here to take over the paperwork.”
-a favor for a favor you guessed. time flew by since the last time you looked at the clock again.
-a soft knock echoed into the room and somehow you didn’t hear it. the door opened with a soft creak and a voice called out quietly. “[Y/N]?”
-you almost jumped out of your skin at the sound of your beloveds voice. “ARCHONS- you frightened me, kaeya!”
-a soft chuckle rumbled in his chest as he opened the door fully before stepping into the room in his whole calvary captain glory. “good to know that i can still do that to my beloved after all this time knowing each other.”
-you shake your head as you continued scribbling quickly on the paper. “what are you doing here, kaeya?”
-his head titled his head to the side with his eyebrow quirked. “are you even aware what time it is right now, [Y/N]?”
-“it was 9:49 o’clock last time i checked.”
-“‘last time you checked’?” his tone suddenly got serious which caught you off guard so you looked up to see his arms folded over his chest and a slight frown on his gorgeous face. “can you look at what time it is right now for me?”
-you looked up at the clock that’s hung at the top of the multiple shelves that has all kinds of books, maps and files. it says that it was already 1:02 in the morning. you laugh sheepishly while ignoring kaeya’s piercing gaze.
-“this is the fifth time this week that you have been drowning yourself in extra paperwork, sweetheart.” he sighs as he went around the desk, gently turning your face to look at him, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.
-you leaned into his touch, now realized how much your body aches from sitting from such a long period of time. “jean left me this paperwork in a hurry since there was an important matter that she couldn’t ignore so i just took responsibility of finishing it up.”
-he hums gently in acknowledgement, grabbing your hand lightly as he pecked each knuckle, slowly running up your arm. “you don’t have to carry so much work, love.”
-you leaned your head back onto the back of the chair with a small thump with a sigh. “you already know how i can get kaeya. sometimes these things just fall onto my lap and i can’t help but help as much as my body can take it.”
-“and you didn’t even think to give your own partner some attentrntion while you worked? you wound me, my love.” a small playful pout etched into his handsome features, placing a hand on his chest as he gasped dramatically.
-you tiredly giggled at him. now it was your turn to grab the hand that was resting on your shoulder and place a gentle peck onto the smooth leather of the glove that hugged his hand perfectly.
-he rubbed his free hand on his neck to subtly hide the growing flush thats creeping onto his ears, still surprised at how your acts of affection still flusters him even after years of the two of you being together.
-the blue-haired male gently takes the quill that was still in your hand away into the small stand next to the bottle of ink. he grabs the finished papers that were scattered across your desk and evens them out before placing them to the side opposite of the now smaller pile of unfinished paperwork.
-“kaeya, put me down!” you dragged out his name when you were suddenly picked up by the cavalry captain which made you slightly jump from the action. “i’m not something you can carry around as you please!”
-“oh then how can i spoil my tired partner like the royalty they are?” He teased, adjusting his grip around your back and legs as he carried you out of your office, now on route to your shared home.
-you rested your head on his shoulder after smacking his chest playfully, too tired to even make a proper response.
-a small smile formed on his lips, placing a gentle kiss on the crown of your head. “rest well, my love.”
┈ ┈ ┈ ⋞ 〈 ⏣ âŒȘ ⋟ ┈ ┈ ┈
⋆.àłƒàż”*: DILUC RAGNIVINDR *àłƒàŒ„
-“there we go.” you wiped the small sheen of sweat on your forehead after placing down one of many crates into the carriage that supposed to be sent out to a few merchants around liyue. you happened to stumble upon this old man right out front of the mansion at dawn winery who asked for some assistance to carry around the heavy boxes filled with wine bottles since no one else was around.
-‘this wouldn’t hurt to do. i still have enough time.’ you thought as you were quick to start moving the boxes.
-you were originally here to visit your beloved while doing your commissions since they were very close to the mansion and the just return back to mondstadt for other errands that you needed to do.
-it looks like that everyone wants your assistance today. you weren’t really complaining although it can get very overwhelming at times. you always tend to manage the pressure around your shoulders from taking commission after commission. that’s what everyone thought in their perspective.
-in reality, you were just trying to cope by drowning yourself with work. even if that meant skipping meals, losing rest, and even ignoring the hobbies you used to enjoy, barely even making time for it anymore. only making time for easing the workload for everyone.
-after the finishing up placing down the last crate down as the old man thanked you profusely for the help as he shook your hand. “thank you so much, i don’t know what I could’ve done without you help! seems like my age has caught up in these old bones of mine.”
-“it was nothing.” you gave him a small polite smile. awkwardly trying to find an opening to visit your partner that by now should be waiting for you to arrive in his abode, clearing your throat slightly. “pardon me- but i really do have to leave-“
“LOOK OUT!”
-before you could even register the yell, you pushed the man out of the way as you took the hit of the barrel that seemed to have fallen from being transported. stopping the heavy container with a grunt, your arms strained a bit before placing it upright.
-“oh gosh! are you alright!?” a young man with blonde hair and binoculars resting on his head frantically ran towards you hesitantly checking if you were injured or anything of the sorts. “i’m so so sorry! i don’t know how but the barrel just fell off from the carriage!”
-“please its okay really!” you shook your head with a chuckle, trying to ease the clumsy boy in front of you. “here let me help you with that.”
-you heaved the heavy barrel with ease, carrying it to the carriage and tying it into place securely. gently explaining what went wrong and gave him tips on what to improve in the future. he thanked you enthusiastically as he jogged towards a boy with long, messy silver hair waiting for him in the distance, almost tripping over his own feet along the way.
you giggled at the sight as you finally walked into the mansion, gently closing the front door as diluc’s servants greeting you and hanging up your jacket and satchel.
-“sometimes i’m still surprised how you always have time to help people, love.”
-you almost jumped out of your skin as diluc’s voice suddenly rung out in the manor. a small smile etched into your face, walking towards your partner that is sitting comfortably on one of the chairs in front of the fireplace, reading paperwork and letters that are on the table next to him.
-you ran a gentle hand through his thick, red locks that’s tied in a loose ponytail over his shoulder. he slightly melts in your touch, leaning back on his chair to relish the feeling of your fingers in his hair.
-you huffed a small laugh as you watched him relax, slowly untying the ribbon that’s holding his hair together, making a small braid with a piece of it. you both enjoyed the comfortable silence that fell, the soothing sound of the burning wood cracking and the gentle smell of herbal tea in the air.
-you can never get tired of these small moments after a whole day of working nonstop. you sometimes wish these moments could last forever but that just would be wishful thinking. you didn’t even realize that you let out a heavy sigh until the red-haired suddenly turned his head to look up at you with a concerned expression. “what’s wrong, dove? is something the matter?”
-you shook your head to dismiss the question but he pointed look he gave you made you cave in. you chuckled lightly as you kept playing with his hair, keeping your hands busy as you tried not to let your thoughts wander. “it’s nothing, love. just a bit tired.”
-diluc gently grabbed both of your hands and pulled you around from next to him so that you were now in front of him. he looked straight into your eyes as if searching for something which was working because you couldn’t handle lying while he was looking at you that ways with such worry in those beautiful crimson eyes of his.
-it’s like he reads through you and you shrunk in his observant gaze internally. both of you didn’t utter a thing, just looking at each other as you tried to make up an excuse to get out of the current situation you’re currently in.
-wordlessly, diluc slowly let go of your hands and opened his arms. your eyes widened, little surprised at the gesture but once you realized what he wanted to do, your nose began to sting and your vision blurred slightly. immediately sitting on his lap, not really caring if your straddling his legs, wrapping your arms around the red-haired mans shoulder while one of his arms slung comfortably around your waist and then the other rubbed soothing motions on the middle of your back.
-he squeezed you gently, pressing his cheek on the side of your head, placing soft kisses on it as you held back your tears from the comfort your lover is giving you. a few tears ran down your cheeks as you cursed silently, you nuzzled your face in the crook of his neck, slightly tightening your arms around him.
-“you don’t always have to carry all that workload everyday. i’m always here to help you carry at least a carry a small bit of it if it means helping you breathe easier.” he says gently while patting your head in an encouraging way after placing a small peck on the crown of your head. “you are always scolding me when i carry too much from my nightly activities, now its my turn to help you carry yours, now it’s your turn to lower those walls you always hold up, my dove.”
-you let out a small watery laugh as you nuzzled your head even further into his chest, finally letting the tears finally fall. “thank you, diluc.”
-and the whole afternoon was spent with the both of you enjoying each others company and a whole lot of scolding from diluc while making a whole new schedule for you so that you can have more time to rest.
┈ ┈ ┈ ⋞ 〈 ⏣ âŒȘ ⋟ ┈ ┈ ┈
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ALBEDO ·˚ àŒ˜
-“shit.” you cursed under your breath as another sketch of a cecilia in a vase in the middle of the table as you took a small break from going through with some alchemical research that has been assigned to you. the small doodle failed miserably while you crumpled the piece of parchment and flicked it across the mess of books and test tubes spread around your notepad.
-you honestly thought trying out to just a simple doodle of the flower that was on the table as decoration to take off your thoughts off from your research was gonna be easy enough, right?
-oh how wrong you were.
-it all started out calmly, just making simplistic lines with just a flick of your pen, until you messed up a particular detail around the petals that you didn’t expect it to irk you that much, so you just ripped the page and placed it to the side and start all over again on a new page.
-being a perfectionist can be such pain sometimes.
-stubbornly, instead of tucking your notepad away and remove yourself from the mental stress that your putting yourself in, you reasoned yourself that it would just take a couple more tries couldn’t hurt to do.
-you don’t necessarily have a knack for drawing (if you are an artist just pretend that you don’t have the skill for the sake of the oneshot LOL bcs I’m an artist myself dhaskafh) you were more someone that prefer to keep your nose in books, quenching your curiosity by experimenting and even exploring the outdoors every once in a while.
-the thought of just sitting for long hours practicing your ability to draw without moving around makes you anxious since you weren’t someone that would keep still for a certain period of time before you are pacing around while reading documents for your assignments or walking around aimlessly in the library.
-you sighed in frustration as yet another attempt of the drawing failed because the lines for the petals looked shaky made you just lean back on your chair and closed your eyes while taking deep breaths to try and calm the storm of your thoughts, bouncing of your leg didn’t ease your anxiety. slowly overthinking on why you can’t do a simple doodle of a stupid flower.
-“well i wasn’t expecting to come back to the library with a sight like this.”
-the voice made you straighten your posture from the chair and snap your head towards the person that just came in. low and behold, it just happened to be the certain cheif alchemist of the knights of favonius, a few books and scrolls in one arm pinned to his chest and his other was holding his coat.
-“albedo! i thought i wouldn’t be seeing you in the next couple of days!” you piped up and got up from your chair trying to hide the fact that you were having a mental breakdown a few seconds ago, quickly reorganizing the messy cutter.
-the blond, the ever so observant person he is, caught on to the fake cheery behavior but he brushed it off. “it seems that the situation up in dragonspine was resolved swiftly and no one got injured so i decided to go back here to send in the report to jean.”
-he walked closer to the table you are at and places his things on the clear space next to you before turning towards you and placed a gloved hand on our forearm. “i also wanted to see you as well since i knew you were occupied with the research that sucrose assigned to you. how is the experiment coming along?”
-“here,” you gathered your notes and papers and handed it to him. “this is everything that i have gathered so far.”
-albedo read through the notes, his free hand on his chin as he read through the papers and observed the beakers that were placed across the table with different coloured liquids on each one of them.
-“everything you have noted so far is correct and precise with good explanations of each hypotheses, i would like for you to demonstrate me the experemant-“ his bright blue eyes fell to the notepad with the half finished sketch of a cecilia. he placed down the apes and grabbed the notepad, gloved fingers lightly tracing the lines on the parchement.
-he turned towards you, head tilted in curiosity. “did you draw this?”
-his face didn’t express much but his eyes held curiosity, although you swore that you saw a small hint of his smile on his lips.
-you let out a sheepish laugh, rubbing your forearm in embarrassment. “yeah- i wanted to try and sketch the cecilia while taking a break from doing experiments all afternoon but as you can see,” you gestured the small pile of crumbled paper
-albedo let out a small chuckle at your flushed state. “for your first time, i think you did very well.”
-“your just saying that.” you looked away, now the stress that you had suddenly came back, you hope your lover wasn’t able to see you crumble slightly in his sharp gaze. “i’m not as good as you.”
-a gloved hand lightly took your chin and directed it towards him before it cupped your cheek, his thumb rubbing soothing motions on your cheekbone. his face was stoic as ever but his eyes held such gentleness that caught you off guard, you leaned into his touch and your eyes glazed over.
-his eyes softened as he let a small smile break through his face, wiping a lone tear that managed to escape. slowly leaning in and placing a small kiss on your forehead, it lasted for a bit before he brought your head to the space between his neck and shoulder.
-he didn’t say much while he let you clutch the soft fabric of his royal blue shirt and embrace him as much as you wanted to. albedo’s hand played with your hair between his fingers, gently swaying you back to try and quiet your sniffles.
-you both stayed like that for a while before the blond pulled away from the embrace first, he grabbed a small handkerchief that was in his pocket and dabbed gingerly the salty tears away while encouraging you and telling affirmations but hearing that just made you want to cry even harder. you fought back the urge, letting out watery chuckles, thanking him.
-“how about i teach you the basics of drawing? i would be pleased to guide you, if you’d let me.” placing a peck on your calloused palm, he tugged your arm while he grabbed his signature clipboard and paper.
-and how can you say no to that pretty face?
┈ ┈ ┈ ⋞ 〈 ⏣ âŒȘ ⋟ ┈ ┈ ┈
˚₊· ÍŸÍŸÍžÍžïżœïżœïżœâ„ VENTI ⍣ àł‹
-you genuinely didn’t know how you ended up in this situation.
-you were just trying to get through this night shift at the tavern as the waiter, this particular night was full of people, the celebration of (aether/lumine) returning back to visit mondstadt. even most of the knights of favonius were here tonight. amber, lisa, kaeya, eula, albedo, sucrose, and even jean were here for the celebration with the traveler on the second floor, only reserved for them. non-knights were also at the tavern, diluc (as always behind the bar preparing drinks and observing the lively activity), rosarĂ­a, and, venti were seated at the bar, enjoying their respective beverages while chatting with the owner.
-you chatted with them every now and then but given that you were the one bringing orders and taking care bringing drinks to tables. you honestly just got this job to raise more mora for yourself and diluc was pleased with you offering to help around the tavern with charles while he leaves for his nightly darknight hero errands.
-“a bottle of dandelion wine, two apple ciders and one berry and mint burst for the small party at table six.” you placed the tray on the countertop while leaning your side to the bar, putting your weight against it, bringing your hand up to push the messy strands of hair away from your face.
-diluc nodded towards you, long red hair bouncing behind him as it’s pulled back into a high ponytail. watching him prepare the drinks with such ease and confidence that it never fails to impress you that this man doesn’t drink.
-a small tired sigh left through your nose as you noticed the exhaustion slowly seeping into your system. you weren’t even a few hours in and yet interacting with this many people certainly drained your social battery.
-“you look quite tired there, windblume. need your boyfriend to whisk you away into the late hours of the night?” a cheery voiced chirped at you with a giggle next to you.
-“a little but the amount of people here certainly caught me by surprise tonight.” you turn your head and give a small smile to your lover whose downing another cup of dandelion wine.
-he hummed as he poured himself another amount into the wine glass which made the redhead behind the counter glare at him slightly before going back to preparing drinks and placing them next to the tray for you to take to the table.
-“don’t drink so much tonight, venti.” you laugh playfully at him while playing with one of his braids before giving his shoulder a stern squeeze as a warning. “you don’t want me to carry you out while i pay your tab again now do you?”
-“aww you don’t want to ruin my fun while there’s a celebration tonight.” he pouts a bit while he moved the glass in gentle circles, watching the liquid dance around the shape of the glass before grabbing one of your hands and placing a small peck on the knuckle of your ring finger before muttering for only you to hear with a small smirk on his lips. “unless you want your beloved to be all over you when we get home.”
-you rolled your eyes playfully, chuckling while lightly pushing his face away from you, carefully placing the drinks on the tray and walking away with a slight sway of your hips as you looked over your shoulder behind you, sending a small wink. “we’ll see how you act later after i take care of you.”
-you walked away before you could see the burning blush present on his ears as he downed another drink.
-“sorry for the wait! busy, busy night in this tavern with the celebration going on.” you gave a small polite smile towards the group, calling out the drink names to place them in front of each person who ordered it. you noticed some of the people in the group whispering to the woman across of them while glancing at you every now and then but you brushed it off, making some small talk with the others that were at the table.
-“besides how busy tonight is, are you perhaps busy later after your shift, handsome?” the woman spoke up with a small sly smile, placing her chin on the head that was resting on the table while taking a sip of her drink. it looked like she was already going far into the amount drinks she has consumed. here we go again.
-“yes i would be busy after my shift.” you chuckle at the question, starting to feel quite uncomfortable, trying to find an excuse to get yourself out of this situation.
-“well that’s too bad.” the woman pouted playfully which made you want to cringe into yourself. “i was hoping to take you home tonight, cutie.”
-okay now you wanted the ground to swallow you whole.
-your eye twitch. ïżŒyouïżŒ honestly preferred to be called cutie when lisa does it but you somehow managed to force a smile at the woman who is too damn blind to take your hints of rejection. “no thank you, miss. i’m not interested, now i’m going back to work so i hope you guys get to enjoy your night.”
-“hey, you’re no fun!” you subtly rolled your eyes as you ignored the companion that was next to the woman who was almost to the point of passing out that was encouraging her behavior. you slowly turned away, but before you could even attend the table that flagged you down, the drunk woman grabbed onto your bicep and batted her eyelashes up at you.
-“i can take really good care of you, y’know. don’t start playing hard to get, ïżŒhandsome.” ïżŒwhile she whined, she ran her other hand across your chest, a manicured nail playing with the button of your shirt.
-“please let go of me-” you tried pulling your arm away but she held it on even tighter. given to how strong you already are you can easily yank your arm away from her but you didn’t want to cause a scene.
-“miss, no is no!” your breathing slowly started to become a bit ragged as you tried to pull away but the drunk woman kept persisting and handling you roughly, making you drop the tray with other drinks, flinching when it crashed on the ground.
-the whole bar went dead silent to the point you can hear a pin drop, attention now drawn towards the cause of the sound while you kept telling the woman to let go of you.
suddenly there was a small gust of wind that almost made you stumble. before you even knew it, a certain bard forcefully made space between you and the other woman, standing in front of you in a protective manner, glaring down at her. the angry expression ïżŒon his usual cheery demeanor made you shiver internally at how frightening he looks. “they said no.”
-“venti.” you muttered quietly, trying not to visibly shake under the attention that has been directed towards you, wrapping your arms around yourself as a small form of comfort.
-a gentle hand touched your shoulder, making you glance over diluc you nods reassuringly at you before stepping forward to stand in front of the bard as he towers over the woman who is sheepishly trying to brush of the altercation that just happened.
-“this was just a big understanding! i was just talking to this cutie-“ before she could even utter another word, diluc raised a gloved hand up to silence her which made her gulp at the angry red head in front of her as he glared at her.
-“harassing my waiter is not acceptable in this tavern. your ongoing behavior has pestered the other customers enough.” the red head began, gesturing everyone that is looking at the situation unfold, making the group sitting at the table cringe into themselves. “so please leave this establishment before the knights of favonius escort you out personally.”
-the two sober knights that were standing by the door swiftly walked up to the woman and her companions while they clumsily grabbed their belongings and followed the knights, their heads hung from embarrassment, ignoring the looming gazes of the people seated throughout the tavern.
-before they left out the door, diluc added. “oh and don’t even think you’ll ever come back here again.”
-pity filled gazes now turned towards your shaking figure while you walked towards the door that takes you to the storage room next to the bar, venti quickly turned and shouted to the audience “hey! don’t let this situation bring down the festive mood. a round of drinks for everyone, master diluc! put it on my tab of course!”
-that seemed to get the people forget the situation that happened prior quickly as they cheered at his generosity while he went to the back to check his beloved, sending a quick nod towards the door as diluc let him slip out quickly while preparing the big order of drinks with a sigh, charles passing around drinks and jotting down orders while venti took care of you.
-“windblume?” venti walked through the storage unit while quietly calling out to you, trying to find you after the whole ordeal that must have affected you greatly.
-a sound of soft sniffles caught his attention behind one of the wrack holding various bottles of wine and beverages. the bard circled around the corner, seeing you sitting on the ground with your head tucked in your arms that rested over your knees as your body shook, fingers clutching your sleeves tightly, making your knuckles turn white.
-his teal eyes softened at the sight of you, he slowly knelt down in front of you, still giving you space until you let him. he sat on his calves as he watched your shaken form.
-“my beloved?” he called out softly again, hoping that you acknowledged that he’s right here if you need him fir anything.
-you slowly pulled your head away from the resting place of your arms, shiny [e/c] eyes staring back at him filled with a storm of thoughts surrounded them but venti still thought that you still look as handsome as ever as the tears made your eyes look clearer and brighter than normal.
-he smiled gently, slowly raising a hand towards your face, making sure that your eyes have full view of what he’s doing just in case if you wanted to pull away.
-his hand stopped just to hover over your cheek, tilting his head as if to ask for permission before touching you.
-you closed your eyes, nodding. flinching a little before relaxing into the coolness of his hand on your cheek. venti’s smile only widened, scooting a little closer while threading his free hand through your hair and placing a soft kiss in between the space of your eyebrows.
-“my precious windblume is so strong, carrying all this weight and spreading kindness in your wake. i’m so proud of you, my love. how lucky i am to have such a strong and brave partner like you. you never fail to surprise me with the things you do every day. carrying so much weight that i sometimes wish that you’d let me carry half of it. i love you so much, windblume.”
-here comes the other wave of tears. you tackled your boyfriend, making him stumble back and land with a small ‘oof’ with you hiding your face into his neck.
-“although i might need to stop drinking a while to pay off the huge tab i placed myself tonight.” the bard laughs, squeezing you in his hold, pressing his cheek on the side of your head, letting you hug him as much as you want to. he feels your chest rumble with a weak chuckle at his statement which made his heart flutter with ease knowing that he can cheer you up even its only a little bit.
-he slipped his hand under your chin to pull your face up as he placed a chaste kiss on your lips. “let me take care of you tonight my love.”
━━━━━━━━━▌━━━━━━━━━
◩ a/n: WHEWWW i just wanted to start writing again as a way of taking out some stress from uni (even though i deadass don’t write for shit after years of writing on wattpad💀) but i honestly wanted to come back to creating cute little scenarios of my favourite fictional characters & shii LOL. creating new stuff might take a bit since its usually when i have a burst of random energy or whenever i’m stressed from uni or art classes so please do send request or some ideas my way! anywho this might be kinda long since it is my first post here so- i may or may not have gone a bit far with venti’s but i love him too much for my own good.🧍😭
◩ anywho— reader on all the stuff i make will be gn or masc! gn reader since i am non-binary that prefers masculine compliments and i don’t tend to see a lot of gn or masc representation so hopefully i can bring that to fruition in a way of sorts with my rusty writing skhdskuyj.
◩ so rn i shall try to write some genshin boys for now since i do wanna take my little take on them since i do kin quite a bunch of them.💀
◩ i do hope you enjoyed my first post!!!đŸ«¶đŸ˜­
━━━━━━━━━â–Č━━━━━━━━━
433 notes · View notes
deansapplepie · 11 months
Text
Till THE DEAD do us part | Chapter 9
Tumblr media
A/N: This story will take place in all the seasons, but it’s not exactly a rewriting cause I’d have to re-watch everything to use the exactly lines of the characters, also I think it’s better if I tell a side story without changing the main facts of the story.
This story has a Female Reader, but I don’t describe her appearance, so anyone can identify with her.
Chapter 8 Chapter 10
Masterlist
Chapter 9: I ain’t yer bitch, Grimes
Summary: The day starts with a horrifying secret coming to the knowledge of the group, dividing opinions about the matter. Stress is all around again, people say things they didn’t really mean. Everybody is suffering, but some matters have their conclusion. This is absolutely the worst synopsis I ever made, but also that was the hardest chapter for me.
Warnings: swearing, little angsty, nightmares, violence, death, discussions, Daryl is a meanie (but he’s suffering). Minors do not interact. (If you think there should be more warnings, let me know)
Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Grimes!Reader (Rick’s Sister)
Word Count: 5,029
Extra notes: I proofread the text, but English is not my first language, so feel free to correct any mistakes, of course with love. I’m consulting a timeline of everything that happened, but it can happen that I put events out of order. In the series after the happenings of this Chapter we have a gap of 7 days, so I’ll use it to have the freedom to be more creative and create nice interactions of our loved characters.
Tumblr media
You were walking in a large field, it was the end of the afternoon and a little cloudy, so the colors were not bright. Far away you saw a person, it looked like a kid, but you were not exactly sure you needed to get closer. Soon you weren’t walking anymore, you were running. When you got closer you could see better, it was a kid, a girl. She had short blond hair and was wearing a blue t-shirt. ‘Sophia’, you thought. That was the clothes she was when she got lost.
“Hey, Sophia. It’s me Y/N.” You called her going in her direction but she didn’t turn to you. “Sophia, we were so worried, we looked for you everywhere. Your mom is so worried. She’s gonna be so happy when she sees you.”
Again, no answer. When you got close enough to touch the little girl, you put your hand on her shoulder and called her. She turned to you, and you saw the most horrifying thing, she was pale white, veins evident on her skin, her eyes were the greenish that only the walkers had, and she jumped on you.
You woke up immediately sitting in the dark, you were sweating, your heart beating impossibly fast, it was even a little difficult to breath. When you sat up, Daryl woke up startled, he sat by your side touching your shoulders as delicately as he could. “Wha’ happened? Are ya okay?” He asked worriedly, by the way you woke up he was sure you were not ok.
“I had a nightmare. A terrible one.” You said, when you thought about talking about Sophia the tears came to your eyes, and you couldn’t help but cry. He was surprised he never saw you like that, well
 except the day he encountered you in the woods, but in the middle of the night? Never
 well, not that you had slept many times together, in fact this was the third time you slept in the same place.
“I’m ‘ere. Try to calm down and tell me. I need to know to help ya.” He pulled you to his chest hugging you from behind, as much as your sitting position allowed.
“Sophia
” You managed to say, all this days you were all worried about her, but you didn’t had any dream or nightmare about the girl, so why today? “I found her
” you sobbed. “She had turned Daryl, she died and
” More sobs take the control over you.
“Shush
 com’ere.” He turned you around and laid down with you, your face hiding on his chest, he caressed your back and your hair. “It was just a nightmare, we’re gonna find her and she’s gonna be ok.”
He couldn’t be sure of it and you knew. He also knew it, but he wished to find the little girl more than anything. It’d give hope to the group, Carol would be happy and everything he went through would be worth it. He kissed the top of your head and continued giving you comfort till both of you fell asleep again.
The next day everyone was sat having breakfast together when Glenn came and dropped an atomic bomb on everyone, saying the old barn was full of walkers. When he gave the news, you almost choked on your breakfast, but you could see it was as if he had taken a burden off his shoulders. Damn, the kid was carrying a lot of secrets with him.
After this, it was all chaos. Everyone went to the barn, following Shane. Shane wanted you all to leave, but you couldn’t just leave without Sophia. He got mad at Daryl, because he insisted, he was close to find the girl. You all got to know that Hershel saw the walkers as sick people, how fucked up could this be? While you discussed the door of the barn started shaking with the walkers going against it. You decided to watch the barn just in case, Shane being the first one on duty.
You went back to the camp and saw Daryl, crossbow on his back, going to the stables. ‘Oh he’s not thinking about taking another horse, is he?’ You thought, but you knew he were, you followed him and also saw Carol coming in the same direction. You found him inside looking for a horse. “You can’t go out there in your state.”
“Well, just watch me sweetheart.” He said an acid tone in his voice.
“Daryl, you’re severely injured and it was caused by a horse. Let the others look for her.” You tried to bring reason to him.
“Listen, ya don’t get to boss me around, I ain’t yer bitch, Grimes.” Even when he was mad he had never called you by your last name, but when he made you upset you called him Dixon, so you could not exactly blame him.
“Alright, do whatever the fuck you wanna do.” You wanted to say that you were just worried, that he needed to have a good recovery because he was essential for the group, the group needed him. You needed him, but the words just got stuck in your throat.
You turned your back to him and left the place going back to the camp, you passed Carol on you way and knew she was also going to try to reason with him. Maybe he’d listen the mother of the child. You sat on the swing, Carl on your side and Luna on the ground chewing on a branch she found somewhere. You observed Daryl storming off the stables followed by Carol. It looked like she somehow convinced him, even though he didn’t look happy about it.
It all got you thinking about the terrible nightmare you had, you still wanted to have hope and the same faith Daryl had, but the odds were not really on the little girl’s side. “Aunt Y/N, do you think we’ll find Sophia?” Carl asked while you both sat on the swing.
“Yes, I’m sure we will
” You tried reassuring your nephew, well you really thought, but you weren’t sure how you’d find her, dead? Alive? A walker?
“I don’t want to leave and let her behind.”
“Me neither sweetie, me neither.” You took his little hand in yours and squeezed it.
After lunch you were all together at the house’s Porch when Shane arrived with all the guns, you took your gun back of course, you agreed that having the walkers so close, you needed to have protection. You put it back close to your knife on your waist. Shane was inciting everyone while he gave everybody guns, when you all saw Hershel, Rick and Jimmy bringing Walkers as if they were just doggies that they found in the woods.
“What the fuck?” You didn’t have time to hold your tongue, so everyone looked in that direction and if it could get worse, it would and it got.
Everything happened so fast at the moment, Shane ran down the hills you all followed behind him, Luna being faster than everybody an passing Shane. ‘Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. It can get bad if she get close to one of those things.’ You tried to run faster even with your injured leg. When you got down there Rick was divided on telling Shane to stop and trying to command Luna to not get close to the walkers. You got her by the collar and brought her distant from them.
Then everything went fast, Shane shot the Walkers that Hershel and Rick were bringing to show the farmer that they were not alive and following he broke the lock of the barn door releasing the walkers that were inside. You got your gun and aimed it in the direction of them and started shooting with the others to contain the monsters to get to you. One hand holding Luna and the other firmly holding the gun. When you thought everything was over, you listened to a low moaning coming from the barn, getting closer and closer to all of you. And when it came to light
 there she was. Sophia. She wasn’t Sophia anymore, she was a walker just like in your dream and you couldn’t dare shooting her
 not the little girl you met on the road, the one that played with your nephew and was like a niece to you, not the so pure and innocent Sophia that had already suffered much in her life.
You put your gun back at your waist and turned your back, you didn’t want to see, you couldn’t dare to look anymore. You heard Carol’s cries and saw that Daryl embraced her so he wouldn’t get any closer. You got to Lori and Carl, and hugged them. It broke your heart, seeing Sophia turned just like in your nightmare, Carl crying for his friend, Carol suffering
 You were relieved to have “found” Sophia, but you were also extremely sad.
You put the walkers bodies on the truck to burn them, but made graves for Sophia, Hershel’s wife and stepson. You reunited to make a funeral for them, Carol didn’t want to participate. You could understand her, but at the same time it pained you that her little girl was not going to have her mom on her funeral as it should have been. Maybe that wasn’t Sophia anymore, but it was before
 and if you had found her dead instead of turned, wouldn’t you bury her too and say your goodbyes?
Everybody started to go their separate ways and back to their chores. You stayed there a little longer and then headed back to the camp. When you got there you saw Daryl disassembling all his camp that was in the extreme corner where all of you were camping. He was already kind of far from you, what was he doing? You approached him, a little afraid of his reaction.
“D., what are you doing?” You asked genuinely worried.
“Wha’ does it look like?” He grunted throwing things in his bag just to get away from there.
“Like you’re running away from us.” You kept your distance and let he continue to do whatever he was doing. “I know you’re upset, I’m too. All of us, actually. We need to stay together. I know it’s breaking you, you were truly involved on Sophia’s search
”
“Ya know nothin’ ‘bout me!” He retorted, throwing all his belongings on the ground.
“You’re hurting. If you need me, you know where to find me. I’ll be there for you in the same way you were there for me when I needed.” You left, you didn’t look back. There was nothing you could do for him to listen to you in the moment.
You went looking for the others and found them at the Greenes house. It was a little crowded, Beth was catatonic. Maggie said that one moment she was on the kitchen doing her activities and in the other she passed out and was on this state she was right now. Hershel was nowhere to be found and he was the only one that could help her.
Lori suggested you tried to do something to help, since you technically have the same knowledge as Hershel, but you wouldn’t dare. The old man was way more experienced than you with animals and people, you’d not risk. Rick and Glenn left to bring him back to take care of Beth.
You stayed all the afternoon helping Maggie and Patricia with the house and with Beth. When the night arrived you had dinner ready for everyone to eat. In that moment you learned that Lori was missing, you hadn’t even noticed. A car was missing too. Shane got up and went after Lori, everybody was worried. ‘This day can’t get worse’, you thought.
“Carl, eat. Your mom gonna want to know you ate everything when she’s back.” You told the boy that continued to eat contradicted.
“Why’s your boyfriend not here?” Maggie asked sitting by your side to eat.
“He wants to be left alone.” You deep breathed. “I guess this is how he copes with his frustration. what happened today was probably too much for him.”
“First time you don’t correct me when I call him your boyfriend.”
“And would it matter if I did? You’d still call him that.” You shoved a mouthful of vegetables in your mouth, you didn’t feel like eating, but you forced yourself to.
“Why aren’t you with him?” You truly liked Maggie, she was a good girl and you were pretty sure Glenn was in love with her, but you couldn’t help but feel a little annoyed with her questions. You didn’t want to remember that he was hurting and that he was alone, just because he couldn’t stop himself from pushing away from people.
“He doesn’t want me there, I’m not forcing anything. I left the door open, so when he needs me
 if he needs me, he’ll come and find me.” You drank water to help the food down, the food was delicious but you really didn’t felt like eating. You just ate to survive. “I finished, gonna wash my plate and stay with Beth till you finish. Carl, don’t leave Andrea.”
You were still not good with Andrea, but you knew she would protect and take care of Carl properly. You went to the room and sat by Beth’s side. It was really a great shock to her
 Shane wasn’t completely wrong about cleaning the barn, but the way he did
 it was the problem. “I’m sorry Beth, I wish you didn’t need to go through that.”
In one hour or maybe two Shane got back with Lori. She was hurt and you wondered what could have possibly happened. She told all of you the story about going to look for Rick, Glenn and Hershel. She was insane, maybe? Did pregnancy do this to a woman? Like it would be of no use to one more person go looking for them, as Rick and Glenn were already looking for someone.
“Know what’s that Y/N?” Shane asked you, and you knew that probably you’d fight after a long time with no fights. “She asked your boyfriend to go look for them and he didn’t
”
“And he had no obligation of going! Rick went with Glenn to look for Hershel, that was enough. The only thing we needed to do was wait for them! Going look for them aren’t going to bring them faster to the farm.” You exploded, now even this he would like to blame someone? “The only fault of this is yours Lori, couldn’t you just wait them? It’s not like you have superpowers and would bring they back instantly. You just put yourself and the baby in danger!”
“Baby?” Many of the people around Lori and Shane said. Which baby?
Lori gave you an annoyed look.
“Sorry.” You said about revealing the baby, not what you said about making no sense going to look for Rick at this point.
Then the questions started, and Carl learned he was going to be a big bro. Carol and Dale took Lori to the RV to check on her. You approached Dale to ask him a favor, well not actually a favor, but it would be one for you.
“Dale, can I stay on watch tonight?” You asked the older man.
“Yes, of course. Who’s going to change with you?” He asked.
“No one, it’s better if everyone rest. Tomorrow I can sleep.” You told him and he saw in your eyes you were almost pleading him.
“It’s not right, you know? To be deprived of sleep.”
“I’m not. Tomorrow morning someone can take my place and I go to sleep. Please.” You asked again.
He agreed, so you just asked him to wait a little cause you were going to check where Luna was. You pretty much already had an idea, but you had to make sure she wasn’t in the woods or somewhere else. You walked in the dark only with the moonlight to guide you, you could see the whole structure of his camp.
Anxiety was bringing an uncomfortable feeling to your chest and stomach, and you were a little afraid of what you could encounter. When you arrived, you saw him and Carol, he having an outburst on her. You ran to stay between her and him.
“What the hell are you doing?” You yelled at him. How could he treat her like this after everything she went through?
“Keeping all of ya away from me!” He yelled back, even though he was shouting you could see in his eyes that anger wasn’t exactly what he was feeling, maybe just a bit. “Don’t ya understand I’m here for a reason? I ain’t yer servant so ya can go ordering me aroun’ as ya want!”
“Carol, go back. Let him be today. I’m pretty sure tomorrow he’ll regret his actions.” You told the woman that was behind you.
“What are ya here for?” He asked daggers on his eyes, he probably didn’t like what you said. “Came here to tell me, how I treated yer sis bad?”
“No, you asshole. I just defended your ass when someone mentioned it was your fault!” You retorted him, you had come with good intentions just to look for Luna, but you couldn’t just stand how he treated Carol and how he was behaving.
“Let me guess, Shane?”
“It doesn’t matter.” You answered, you didn’t want to take longer there, cause the longer you got to come back the more you were inclined to have a fight with him, and you didn’t want it. You just wanted Daryl back, the one that was a little bit grumpy and rough, but that was also sweet and considerate in the small things. “I came here for my dog. Is she here?”
“She’s sleeping in the tent.” He replied, you were surprised she didn’t wake up with all the yelling.
“Good.” You turned your back to him and started to go back to the camp.
“Aren’t ya gonna take her?” He asked a tad bit annoyed and confused.
“Just wanted to know if she was safe, you can have her today. You probably need her more than me.” You answered not turning back and continued your way back to the camp.
You went to RV and let Dale know you were already there to start your watch. Once more he tried talking you out of it, but you needed this time just for yourself and speaking the truth you were afraid of sleeping alone after your nightmare the night before, this time you wouldn’t have anyone to hug you if you needed.
You sat on the beach chair on the top of the RV, rifle resting on your lap, binoculars hanging on your neck and starring at the darkness. You always liked the night, more than the day, but you never were the one to change your sleeping habits because of this and despite of that you couldn’t appreciate the night properly at the cities. In your opinion the most special and magic thing about the night, was the sky with the moon and all the stars, you felt like you were looking into the universe and that mesmerized you. Also, you loved the silence and peace you could find at night.
Recently, you couldn’t enjoy the night anymore, because it was too dangerous, but honestly, being a woman, it wasn’t so different before. You didn’t enjoy the nights because of the parties and trivial things like this, what you really liked was the calming and silence it could give you. No car noises. No phones ringing. No one ring the doorbell. No annoying neighbors (well, most of the time). Now wasn’t so different all day, but you still needed to deal with people, and drama, and damn people that should be dead walking around and trying to eat your guts.
You spent the night watching the darkness, admiring the night and putting your thoughts in order. It was so exhausting being on an apocalypse, you couldn’t guess that besides fighting walkers, you’d need to deal with other people, have tons of familiar drama and have worries about a man you knew almost 3 months ago and was able to shake your life in a way no one had before, not even that bastard son of a bitch that ruined your life. On top of that you had your own dramas, traumas, worries and he, the man you couldn’t just stay away or give up, had his own troubles and you didn’t know if you would be able to break each other's barriers.
When the sun rose, you saw some dust far away in the road, you took the binoculars and saw the car in which Glenn and Rick left coming to the farm. You descended the RV stairs and went running to the house, announcing they were back and you prayed that please they had Hershel with them.
Soon they stopped in front of the house and all of the three were together, but they had guy with them. His leg was hurt. Soon Hershel and Patricia went to do a surgery on the boy’s leg. Glenn and Rick explained everything, the way things escalated made you fear what could happen. If this boy escaped or if their group went after you, all would be lost. It was too dangerous, but as a human being you could also understand what they did and why they did. After Hershel finished the surgery, and took care of Beth, everybody reunited to decide what to do with the kid. First plan, was to wait his recovery and then abandon him in a place far away from the farm. It could be a good plan, Shane didn’t like it much, but
 what did he like nowadays? Maybe just Lori.
You left after you got breakfast, ready to go to your tent and try to sleep a little, or else Dale would speak a lot about it and the elderly man could be very incisive when he wanted.
“Can we talk?” You heard a gruff voice behind you, his voice. You didn’t look back.
“Did you already talk to Carol? She’s probably the most upset one.” You said, looking side eyed to your right and seeing Luna following you two. “Talk to her, then we can talk. Luna, come on girl, you already stayed away from me for enough time.”
You went to your tent and changed into comfortable clothes just to take a nap and make Dale happy that you rested as you promised. Luna joined you and laid there running your hand on her back, in some way it was soothing for you. After some time you heard Daryl knocking on the imaginary door of your tent. “Come in”, you said and soon he opened the door, entered and zipped it again. “Did you talk to Carol?”
“Yeah, already apologized for being a dick.” He said sitting in the opposite side from you. You sat and took a look at him in the dark of the tent while Luna turned around to rest her head on his lap.
“At least you’re a conscious dick.” You murmured.
“Wish, I wasn’t one at all” he chewed on his thumb.
“Everyone can be one sometimes.” And it was true, just that he was one more often, but you also knew he never had anyone to help him deal with his emotions. “I don’t like when you’re like that.”
“I know. Me neither. It’s just
 I dunno how to be anything other than that.” He petted Luna’s head.
“I know. You were bad yesterday, because you cared, you felt
 it’s ok to feel D. You’re human, you have a heart. It’s just how you bring these emotions out.” You were so calm, that it got him confused. It wasn’t that you weren’t upset, but you could see through his angry grumpy façade. It was just him trying to hide what he was truly feeling, also a way of auto sabotage himself. “It’s ok to rely on others. I see that you probably never had someone like this before, but now you have us. You have me. If you need to vent about something, cry or just go to the top of a mountain and scream all your feelings, you can come to me.”
“ ‘m sorry.” That’s the only thing he could say, he knew no explanation was needed, because you had just said pretty much what he was feeling.
“Come here.” You said laying over your sleeping bag and pointing at your chest. “Lay down and rest your head here.”
“Whatta ya
” he started to question, but you just cut him.
“Just do as I say, if I can lay my head on your chest, you can also do the same with me.” You opened your arms waiting for him.
You almost expected him to throw a tantrum just like the day before when he said he wasn’t your servant for you to order him around, but he obeyed laying on your left side, so he would not hurt his recovering wound. He rested his head on your chest, put his left arm around you while you hugged him with both your arms. One hand caressing his back carefully to not hurt him and the other on his head playing with his hair. He was a little embarrassed in the beginning, he thought it was very different you laying on his chest than he laying on yours. In his mind when you laid on his chest, it was pure, lovely and innocent, but for he, a man, lay on your chest it sounded wrong
 women chests had always been something extremely sexualized by the society. Until that moment, when you started to rub his back and ran your fingers on his hair, he had never thought it could also be pure, innocent, lovely, soothing and many other adjectives that he could use to describe the sensation. He could listen to your heartbeat and feel your breathing, being able to relax.
“You’re forgiven, just don’t push yourself away again. Specially when we didn’t even fought between us.” You kissed the top of his head and he would not admit, but you felt him snuggling more into you. “Do you like it?” He just let a small hum. “This is what I mean when I say you can come to me. Whenever you need I’ll comfort you as you have already comforted me.”
You didn’t feel any animosity from the day before, in fact, when you saw him taking his things to set his camp far from yours, you thought you’d give him his space so he could overcome the situation. But when you saw he treating Carol badly you couldn’t just watch. You were happy he apologized to Carol and you were glad he came to you. You felt good about being able to show him what comfort was and how he could heal without hurting himself and the others around him.
You ended up sleeping with him in your arms, he stayed a little more enjoying the feeling and organizing his thoughts. Then he got up and left taking Luna with him and going around to see what he could do to help. He didn’t want to disturb your sleep, he knew you didn’t sleep, because he didn’t too. The night before, He just laid in his tent, Luna by his side and he couldn’t stop thinking about all his actions of the day, he wished you were there, but he had treated you so badly that he didn’t even know if you would like him close to you ever again. He regretted his actions like you said he would, but it was like he couldn’t control himself when he felt like this and mean words came out of his mouth without he even thinking about it. So even though he rested during the night he couldn’t sleep thinking about everything and knowing you were there keeping watch all by yourself in the darkness of the night. He could see you there, before he went to his tent, he saw you on top of the RV even from that distance he could see it was you. He wanted to go there and ask what you were doing, tell you to stop being so stubborn and go to sleep, but that night he felt like he didn’t have that right anymore.
He just knew one thing he needed to stop hurting people he didn’t want to hurt, people that he was learning he cared about. It feared him, because the only person he ever cared about was Merle. He didn’t even care about himself, but now he had people that he wasn’t completely sure yet, but he thought that maybe cared about him. Well, he felt like you truly cared, and he had to stop building walls and closing the door for you. He had never felt so good and safe before as he felt in your arms, and that was one thing he had to value, this was something he wanted to feel again and again and again.
Final Notes: Gosh, this was a very challenging chapter for me to finish, it took me sometime because the things never seemed right. For the next chapter or maybe chapterS we’ll have a gab of time that I can fill with something, so I was thinking about crossbow and hunting lessons with Daryl.
What do you think? If there’s anything you’d like to see, let me know me know. If it fits the story I’m trying to build maybe I can include.
Taglist: @sunnybunnyy2 @royaltysuite
Wanna be added to my taglist? Just let me know.
136 notes · View notes
studywgabi · 6 months
Text
Anyone Else?
I am 18 years old and I just found out I am intersex.
I started puberty at an earlier age than average. I had severe acne, oily skin, and hirsutism in second grade. I remember my dad telling me to wash my face because I was getting "a type of pimple called a blackhead" (he had to explain to me what it was, I had never heard of them) when he dropped me off at before-school daycare at 7 years old. When I told my mom I had hair under my arms that same year, she flat-out refused to believe me. She simply said I did not, that it was impossible.
I started shaving my legs in third grade, after begging my parents to let me for a year. My mom said I should only have to shave every other day, and again denied the truth when I told her that wasn't enough. Once I started shaving my legs, I noticed the hair everywhere else: my back, my chest, my face, all over.
I googled my symptoms over and over, scouring the internet for a documented experience of any other woman who was like me. I questioned my gender identity over the years. I had wondered if it was possible for me to be intersex, but I had a very limited view of what that could mean, and I assumed if I was, it would be very physically, externally, obvious. At that time, I didn't think it was possible for my doctors, my parents, and everyone else in my life to miss something so important.
For about a year, I identified as non-binary and used they/them pronouns. I think that part of this came from a place of being young and exploring my identity, but it also came from deep insecurity. I didn't feel like being a girl was an option for me because of the way I looked, so I thought it would ease my pain to pretend I wasn't a girl. I want to make it abundantly clear that I am in no way saying questioning one's gender identity is only about being insecure. That was my personal experience, and I am in the minority. I am the exception to the vast majority of experiences.
I bought plain, solid-color, clothes 3 sizes too big and wore pants and long sleeves all summer to swallow me up. I always wore my hair down and I always had bangs to cover as much of my face as possible. I wanted to make it impossible to see my face at all, and, between bangs, glasses, makeup, and a mask, I was fairly close.
By the time I was 12, I had developed a four-hour daily routine for removing all my hair. After a year of seeing my therapist, I finally broke down and told her about my hirsutism via pen and paper and through tears. I was so, so ashamed that I couldn't even say the word "hair" out loud. She immediately told me I might have PCOS, something I had never heard of, and it turns out she was right.
It was only recently, six years after my PCOS diagnosis, that I found out there was any discussion at all about PCOS being considered an intersex condition. I am ashamed to say my first reaction was one of more fear and insecurity. I have been chasing womanhood all my life, and this felt like yet another barrier to it. Even if I didn't identify as intersex after reading about this, it's taught me I have quite a bit of unlearning to work on.
I am in no way qualified to declare PCOS to be an intersex condition, and I am not telling other people with PCOS that they have to be intersex, but I now identify as intersex. I love that PCOS awareness is a trending hastag on tiktok, but there is still so much more research that needs to be done, especially into this particular area. I read peer-reviewed journals from scientists and blog posts about individuals' real experiences and I found a term that feels like home for me, that fell in line with the way I had always felt about myself. I will still use she/her pronouns, because they also feel right for me.
When I experience things like this, I don't know what else to do but write about them. I hope we learn more about this, and I hope I can talk to someone who has also had this experience. Thank you.
52 notes · View notes
dont-offend-the-bees · 3 months
Text
No Rehearsing It, No Reversing It
Took a break from the big, soul-consuming, expansive multichapter fic to write... a big, soul-consuming, expansive one-shot. Look, I swear it was MEANT to be short and sweet, Charles just decided to have a self-confidence crisis all over it and then the bloody CAT KING showed up, it all went a bit mad.
Anyway, no major warnings at hand. Charles-typical self esteem issues and teen angst. There's jealousy aspects, but they don't really drive the story/get together, it's more of a side factor. This fic also flirts a little bit with Catwin and the romantic/flirtatious potential there, but it's Payneland endgame. No smut, some making out! Have fun!
9k words, also up on Ao3 (need to be signed in to read!)
~~
"Edwin?"
"Yes, Charles?"
Charles waited until Edwin looked up from his notebook. Once he had his attention, Charles directed it upward with a nod of his head and a flick of his eyes.
Edwin followed his gaze, with a little bewildered frown. "What is it?"
"Well." Charles shrugged. "Mistletoe, innit?"
Edwin's eyebrow twitched upwards. "... Yes. Well identified, Charles."
Charles chuckled, ducking his head. Wasn't always easy to tell when Edwin was genuinely lost and when he was just winding Charles up. He sidled up a little closer, nudging Edwin with his elbow. "C'mon. You know the tradition, yeah?"
Edwin looked up once more, eyes widening a bit as understanding dawned. "Oh," he said, lowering his notebook. "Yes, I do recall..." he cleared his throat, straightening his bow tie one-handed. "Is that still... observed? In this day and age?"
"I mean, it's pretty optional, but." He shrugged again. "It's nice?"
"I suppose as traditions go, it's rather..." Edwin mulled it over, with a thoughtful hum. "Quaint."
"So. You, um." Another shrug. Charles felt a bit like he couldn't keep his shoulders under control — like they were just gonna drop off and roll across the floor any minute. He tried to channel some of his nervous energy into tugging his earlobe instead. "You up for it, then?"
Edwin regarded him, like he does; all placid and cool and dead handsome with the light behind him like that. He looked good under fairy lights — who knew? They should crash office Christmas parties for cases more often. His smile, when it came, was small and a bit sly, and it made Charles feel all sort of gooey in the middle.
Then Edwin leaned in, and screw gooey, Charles felt like there were fireworks going off in his chest. He closed his eyes, tilted his head. His lips parted and —
And something quick, dry, and chaste brushed gently against his cheek like the tip of a bird's wing; there and gone in a flutter.
Charles blinked his eyes open, bleary, and found Edwin already back where he'd started. Spine straight, eyes ahead, jotting madly in his notebook.
"Thank you, Charles. A very pleasant distraction." He frowned as he consulted his page, eyes flicking between it and the room. "Although I have rather lost the thread of my observations... We might be stuck here a little while yet."
Charles had a tingling feeling on his cheek, a sense of mild disappointment in his gut, and no idea what to do with his hands or arms.
He settled on another shrug. Fourth time's the charm. "Got nowhere else to be, have we?"
~
The thing is, Charles had been doing some thinking. No, scratch that, Charles had been doing lots of thinking. More thinking than he'd ever done about just about anything else. Mulling over some thoughts, some feelings.
And the upshot was this. He was almost completely, nearly definitely, ninety nine percent certain that he was head over heels, arse over tit in love with Edwin Payne. And that was brills! Sound! Nothing wrong with that at all!
Thing is, he was having a bit of a problem with that pesky one percent.
With anyone else in the world, ninety nine percent? Good enough. More than good enough. He was pretty sure people out there had gotten married on sixty or less. Sometimes you just roll the dice, snog someone you think is a bit fit, and go from there. But Edwin wasn't just anyone, was he? Edwin was Edwin. 'Best mate' was too mild for what Edwin was; Edwin was his person. Most important person in his life and death combined. He couldn't just go for it, could he? Best case scenario: they snog, they get together, and it's all aces forever and ever.
Worst case scenario: it's Kelly Daniels all over again, only worse.
Kelly was a mate of his in primary school. Actually, she was his best mate. They did everything together. Played outside for hours, hiding from his shit dad and her drunk uncle. Stayed best mates well into secondary, even after Charles got sent off to that snobby boys' school and they could only meet up on the weekends. Had a load of firsts together — first cig, first beer, first piercing. First kiss.
Seemed like a good idea at the time. She was proper into him, and he thought he was into her, too. Why wouldn't he be? He loved her, and she was gorgeous, and there was no one else he'd rather spend his time with. Why wouldn't he be in love with her?
Except when they kissed, it felt... not like anything, really. And he'd tried again because maybe the first one was always a bit rubbish. Maybe they weren't doing it right. But still, nothing. No heart racing, no sparks, no butterflies. He didn't see what everyone had been going on about. He definitely didn't want to kiss her again. Snogging her felt like... like snogging his sister, or something. He couldn't find any romance in it.
But she could. And when he told her he didn't want to do it again she cried and ran home. Next weekend, she didn't meet him at their spot — and when he risked getting caught using the phone to call her, her uncle told him she didn't wanna talk to him.
And that was just sort of. It. His first friend, his best friend, gone in a blink. All because he didn't know what he wanted and he took a stupid chance anyway.
What happened with Kelly was sad; if the same thing happened with Edwin, it'd be devastating. Honestly, he might as well just move on to his afterlife at that point, because that was it. He wasn't doing this ghost bollocks without Edwin by his side, end of.
So obviously, that one percent was bloody haunting him. Because he'd been sure before, and it all blew up in his face. Where was the line between someone you wanted to be with forever, and someone you wanted to be with forever? He couldn't just go on looks, could he? Anyone with eyes could see Edwin was fit, but that didn’t necessarily translate to wanting to snog him, did it? And obviously, loving him as a person didn’t make it a given, either.
If he could love someone but not be in love with them, how was he supposed to know the difference without diving in headfirst? And how was he supposed to do that without trampling all over Edwin’s feelings if his hunch turned out to be wrong? He couldn't. He had to know, first. Edwin already knew his side, and he'd told him so. Now the ball was in Charles' court, and he wasn't kicking it back without a proper answer. But he didn't have one, and he didn't have any evidence to go on, either.
Not yet, anyway.
It was pretty obvious to Charles what he needed to make up that last percent.
He needed to kiss Edwin. A proper kiss, on the lips. Just to see how it felt. See if he really liked him how he thought he did. Easy enough, yeah?
Well, not really. He had to make it happen, somehow. It's not like he could just ask Edwin to kiss him. He didn't wanna get his hopes up, did he? Didn't wanna lead him on and disappoint him. What if Charles didn't feel that way, and he fucked up the best thing he ever had because he didn't know what he wanted — as bloody usual?
Luckily, Charles was a Dead Boy Detective. Gathering evidence was his bread and butter! He'd been honing his investigative skills for a puzzle just like this. It was like coaxing the facts out of a stubborn witness; a little cunning, a side of charm, finesse it a bit, and they'd spill their guts.
He had a new case, a secret case: find a sneaky, innocuous, totally above-board reason for Edwin to snog him. Then he'd know, for sure. Confirm the hunch, crack the case — find out if he was as gone for Edwin as he thought.
Edwin was dead smart, was the only thing. Smart, and still pretty stuffy — even if he'd loosened up some since Port Townsend. He wasn't just gonna kiss Charles over any little thing. And if Charles slipped up, made it obvious, Edwin would be onto him in a second.
One thing was for sure: whatever Charles did, it needed to be subtle.
~
"Mate," said Charles, swanning in the door with a grin from ear to ear. "You are gonna wanna snog me silly when I tell you what I just found."
Absolutely smashed it.
Edwin raised an unimpressed eyebrow from behind the desk. "A bold statement," he said, setting his book aside and crossing his legs. "I'll be the judge of that."
Charles might've tripped over his own feet, like, a little bit. Bloody hell. Edwin needed to stop being so fit or Charles was gonna forget the plan and lay one on him right here, right now. "What? You think I'm exaggerating?" he said, finding his feet and bounding on over.
"You do have form," said Edwin. He steepled his fingers neatly on the desk, wry smile on his lips. "Your enthusiasm has been known to get the better of you."
"Oh, ye of little faith," Charles teased, affecting the mock posh lilt that Edwin always rolled his eyes at. He hopped up on the desk and brought his knee up on it, so's to angle himself towards Edwin. "Trust me, you'll love it. C'mon, eyes shut, hands out!"
Edwin looked unconvinced, but his smile didn't budge. He did as he was told, eyes closed, hands open. And alright, maybe Charles took a moment to just sort of look at his face in the sunlight for a moment. Sue him.
Carefully, Charles reached into his bag and pulled out the box. It was a battered old thing, but considering where it'd been, it was in bang-up shape. He placed it in Edwin's hands, with ceremony. "Alright, open up!"
Edwin opened his eyes and looked at the box in mild bemusement. "How... beautifully wrapped," he quipped.
Charles snorted. "Yeah, yeah. Go on, have a look inside."
Edwin set the box down on the desk and deftly untied the fraying string. He lifted the lid to reveal a bundle of papers — old, yellowed, a bit curly at the edges, but pretty in good nick all things considered! Most importantly, the writing was legible. Rows of neat typeface, with pen scribbles and corrections here and there. Charles wasn't really looking at them, though — he was watching Edwin's face as he mouthed the title. His eyes widened and his lips froze when he reached the author's name.
"I haven't read this one," he said, incredulous. "I've read all of Futrelle's works — how did this one pass me by?"
"Passed everyone by," said Charles, with a casual shrug and a barely repressed smirk. "Went down with him on the Titanic."
Edwin goggled at him. "Explain."
"Well, it's a funny story," said Charles breezily, crossing his arms. Edwin's undivided attention on him was a hell of a feeling. He was preening, and he didn't even care. "Went on a walk, got chatting with a ghost on the docks. She was in a bit of a jam, see, needed some family heirloom to move on. Only problem is, the thing went down on the ship, didn't it? With some great uncle who died there, same as old Jacques.
"So, I put her onto that nice bloke we met a few years ago — case of the drowned diver, remember? Still hasn't moved on, believe it or not — I think he's chuffed about having all eternity to explore the sea. Asked him if he'd do us a favour. So he found the boat, dredged up the safe her family and a few other rich folks used. She dug out her trinket, lobbed the rest at me to say thanks. Gave most of it to Dave, obviously, I mean he did the hard work. But when I saw this..."
He tapped the side of the box with a satisfied grin. "Well. No way I wasn't bringing Jacques Futrelle's last stories back home for us, was I?"
Edwin, for once in his life, seemed to be completely and utterly at a loss for words.
Charles bit his lip. Played it cool. "So," he teased. "Have I earned that snog, or what?"
"Charles," said Edwin — with one of his rare, big, fucking beautiful smiles, the one that showed his teeth. "You have earned a knighthood."
He stood up from his chair, quick as a flash, and planted a firm kiss on Charles' cheek.
Charles only just resisted the urge to cry out a little to the left, you bastard!
"I must read these immediately," Edwin gushed, lifting the stack of paper from the box with reverence. "Or I suppose, rightfully, you should read them first... no, nonsense, we'll read them together. Hm, we'll have to find a way to conserve these pages. Perhaps there's an enchantment in one of my spellbooks... for now, we'll just have to take precautions. Well, no time like the present; we have just closed that case with the haunted ice cream parlour. I'd say we've earned the afternoon off!"
He patted Charles' arm with childlike enthusiasm. "Settle in, Charles — I'm simply dying to know what sort of scrape the Thinking Machine is going to puzzle his way out of, this time..."
Charles laughed; mostly at himself for thinking this would play out any other way. Still, wasn't a total dead loss, was it?
He flopped down over the desk, folding his hands behind his head. Closed his eyes as Edwin's crisp, clear reading voice filled the room with words the world might never have heard.
No kiss, then. But not a half bad substitute.
~
So, mistletoe was a bust, and so were long lost books by dead mystery writers. He'd sort of expected the first one not to work, but the second one? That was a tough gesture to top, really, wasn't it?
Since impossible manuscripts didn't grow on trees, he was back to taking smaller swings for the time being. Luckily, with Christmas behind them, that meant another handy holiday tradition round the corner. Maybe if he played his cards right, he'd get lucky this time.
"Oh, honestly," said Edwin, in a bitchy tone. "What is this fixation the culture has with socially mandated kissing in the depths of winter?"
Off to a great start.
"Just nice, really, innit?" Charles laughed, leaning back against the low brick wall. They'd tagged along with Niko and Crystal to their college campus for the new year celebrations. He thought they'd spend the night getting just walked through by oblivious gangs of tipsy undergrads. But actually, there was a pretty decent mix of living and dead at this thing. Edwin had spent most of the night chatting away with some dowdy old English professor haunting the duck pond. But the clock was ticking down, so Charles had grabbed Edwin's hand and hauled him back to the quad for the fireworks. He wasn't about to lose a prime kissing opportunity to some — no offence — stuffy old bloke and his poetry readings. "Not exactly new, is it? People have been snogging to celebrate stuff since the dawn of time, haven't they?"
Edwin sighed. "Well. Yes, technically, I suppose the tradition has roots as far back as ancient Rome, at the very least. Arguably, the same could be said for mistletoe." He scowled. "Saturnalia has much to answer for."
"Those bloody Romans, at it again." Charles scuffed his heel against the wall. Edwin was a little riled up — must be the noise, the people. Charles was gonna have to be delicate. "Still. Nice to be included, yeah? Sort of the point of traditions, innit? Feel like a part of something. Part of the human race."
Edwin looked at him, and the hard furrow of his brows softened. "Yes," he said, quietly. "I suppose there is that..."
He had that look in his eyes. The one he got sometimes when Charles had made him sad, but he was too polite and uncomfortable to say anything. It wasn't pity, exactly, but. It wasn't miles off.
Charles fucking hated that look. Made him want to smile harder and laugh louder, and point out something interesting that would get Edwin's attention off him. Get him smiling again.
Then again... maybe he'd been going about this all wrong. With the smiling and laughing and teasing. Edwin wasn't gonna snog him for a laugh, but... would he do it out of pity?
Charles looked from Edwin's eyes, to his lips, then back again. Opened his mouth to pop the question:
"Edwin!" came an eager voice from off-side.
Fucking brills.
They both turned towards the voice. Niko was trotting towards them, bobbing through the crowd like a fluorescent pink balloon. She had booze-warmed cheeks to match, and all. Her hand was laced through Crystal's, who was trailing in her wake with a wry smile and a plastic cup.
"Niko," Edwin greeted, smile blooming. The Niko Face, Charles called it. Sort of the way you'd look at an adorable hamster; if the hamster was also a genius who could give you a run for your money in a game of chess. "Are you enjoying the festivities?"
"Edwin, it's almost midnight!" she said, bouncing on her heels. "You know what that means?"
"Yes, Charles has been enlightening me on the traditions," he said.
Her mouth popped open in a little 'o', then widened into a knowing smile. "Ohhhh — were you guys gonna kiss?"
Fuck.
"Um," Charles fumbled.
"Just making conversation," said Edwin, easily, with a pat to Charles' shoulder.
"Oh. Okay — wait, that's awesome, actually. Edwin, I kinda wanted to ask you something..."
He cocked his head. "Oh?"
Charles' heart sank.
"Well I was thinking; do you remember when we talked about the starfish? Before the washer woman showed up and made everything weird and ominous?"
Edwin chuckled. "I do recall, yes."
She smiled, cheeks dimpling. She looked a little wobbly, like she'd been on the alcopops, but her eyes were bright and smart as ever. "You were so nice, when I told you I'd never been kissed. And I still haven't! And I know you have been, now, with Monty —"
Charles started, staring wide-eyed at Edwin. That was new information.
"But it's gonna be midnight soon," Niko carried right on, oblivious. "And you're my friend, and I like you, and I thought: wouldn't it be cool if Edwin was my first kiss?"
Fuck.
"So," she clapped her hands together, touching her fingers to her smiling lips. "D'you wanna kiss? As friends? I wanna, if you wanna!"
"Well. It is a tad unorthodox," said Edwin. But he was smiling, soft and gently blindsided, and Charles didn't stand a chance. "But I would be honoured."
Bloody typical.
Niko clapped her hands together with glee. It was adorable, unfortunately. No amount of being ticked off at her for swooping in and pinching his kiss made it less so.
"Thought you weren't a fan of the kissing traditions," Charles mumbled.
Over Niko's shoulder, Crystal narrowed her eyes and gave him a look.
"I daresay there's room for exceptions," said Edwin. By this point his hands were in Niko's, being pushed back and forth in a little dance. "How does this work, exactly? Are we supposed to share this kiss during the countdown?"
"After — I'll give you the signal," said Niko, conspiratorially.
Charles left them to it. Not much else to say, was there?
~
"You're still doing your stupid plan, aren't you?"
Charles glowered at her platform boots. He knew he'd regret letting Crystal in on it. "It's not stupid."
"Fine, then. Crazy plan. You're a crazy person."
"Oi, you lot are always telling me I should think things through more. Look before I leap?"
"This is overthinking, Charles." She sighed, throwing her hands up. "Whatever. I'm not gonna change your mind, so. Why bother, right?"
She sat on the bench next to him, staring out across the empty duck pond side by side. Stuffy professor bloke must've gone to join the party for the countdown — Charles wondered who he'd be snogging.
Crystal leaned in, and bumped his shoulder. "Are you really gonna sit here and mope while all your friends are back there having fun? Are you that pissed at Niko?"
Guilt knocked Charles like a cricket bat to the knees. "No. No, 'course not." And that's the thing, wasn't it? Obviously he wasn't pissed at Niko, not really. Who could be pissed at someone for wanting Edwin to be their first kiss? If he could replace his own stupid, friendship-destroying first kiss with Edwin, he'd do it in a heartbeat. He sighed, and rolled his shoulders. "It's sweet really, innit?"
She pulled her feet up onto the bench, hugging her knees. She was wearing loads of pretty rings tonight, suns and moons and staring eyes. They shimmered in the light from the quad like ripples on the pond. "I did try and talk her out of it," she said. "For you. But she's a little hammered, and she got like, super invested in the idea. I kinda didn't have the heart to push it."
"Cheers." He chuckled, shaking his head. "Nah, it's alright. It's good." He smiled at her. It probably wasn't convincing, but that was alright. There was never any need to put on airs for Crystal's sake. "She deserves it."
She let her head roll back a bit, giving him a weary look. "You do, too, you know."
He looked at his feet.
Sighing, Crystal put her feet on the ground and took his hand. "C'mon. Countdown's about to start — and the cutest girl at this party is about to make out with your boyfriend, so. I'm gonna need a kissing partner."
He laughed, and let her pull him to his feet.
~
Crystal, he knew from experience, was a good kisser. 'Least he assumed she was. He still couldn't exactly feel it, but he knew good technique when he saw it.
So when the countdown hit zero and the campus erupted into drunken hollers of 'happy new year!', Charles laughed and wrapped his arms around her. They fell into the kind of easy, fun friend-snog that he was a bloody lucky chap to have. Giggling against each other's lips, her hands playing with his hair. All in all, not a bad way to ring in the new year.
Still, he may have taken a peek over her shoulder, as the crowd started to break into a spirited chorus of Auld Lang Syne. May have let his eyes linger on the sweet way Edwin held Niko's hands between their chests. The way his eyes closed and his smile softened as he leaned down to press the most polite, perfect, gentlemanly little lingering smooch on her lips.
If he lost track of the kiss with Crystal, of where their hands were, of when she pulled away. If he spent the rest of the night not saying much, not looking anyone in the eye. If, when he helped Edwin herd their tipsy human friends safely back to their dorm, his eyes kept wandering to the little shine on Edwin's lips, where Niko's strawberry gloss had transferred...
Well. Not anyone's business, really, was it?
~
So, bit of a setback, then. But Charles wasn't giving up that easy. He'd been to actual hell and back for Edwin — he could handle a few scuppered gambits!
Still, two tries at the 'tradition' angle was already pushing his luck — Charles didn't think he'd get away with a third crack at it. Besides, the next snogging holiday on the calendar was Valentine's. If he had to wait 'til fucking February to snog Edwin he was gonna lose it. Two more months just existing around Edwin at his most kissable, not kissing him? Evil. Torture. Fucking agony.
Niko might've nicked his kiss, but the whole college party thing did give him a new idea. And when they shut down the agency after a stressful case for a well-deserved night of games and good company, he spotted the perfect opportunity.
"Spin the bottle?" said Crystal, withering. "Seriously?"
Obviously, she knew exactly what his game was. But he gave her a grin anyway, silently pleading go along with it, please, I'm begging. "I've never played it. And you girls aren't half making me feel like I've missed out on some cracking uni times. C'mon, it'll be fun — we're all mates, in't we?"
"Well, I'm out," said Jenny, unfolding herself from the couch and grabbing her leather jacket. "Thanks for the eight million rounds of Clue, I guess, but I am not sitting here making out with a bunch of kids."
"Technically, Edwin's over a hundred," Charles joked.
He saw Edwin smirk over his hand of cards. "Yes, I'm remarkably well preserved."
Charles grinned, bumping their shoulders. "And I'm fifty... three? I think?"
"Fifty four," Edwin corrected.
"And we're nineteen," added Crystal.
Jenny narrowed her eyes, casting suspicious glances between Niko and Crystal. "Weren't you sixteen, like, five minutes ago?"
"You mean when we met?" asked Crystal, tone flat. "In Port Townsend?"
"Two and half years ago?" Crystal added sweetly.
Jenny closed her eyes, exhaling through her nose. "Right. Now I'm leaving because I'm thinking about the passage of time, and I hate it." She shrugged on her jacket. "Have fun, kids. Don't catch any ghost STDs, or whatever."
A knock on the door interrupted their various squawking complaints. Edwin frowned. "Charles, you did put the sign on the front door?"
"Yeah, 'course I did," said Charles, with a roll of his eyes. "Some ghosts can't take a hint. I'll tell 'em to come back tomorrow."
He hopped up and followed Jenny to the door, spying a nondescript human-ish shape through the frosted glass. Jenny opened it, exchanged a cool nod with whoever it was, and went on her way. As she stepped out of his line of sight, Charles got a good look at their visitor.
"Oh. It's you," he said, crossing his arms and leaning on the doorframe with a scowl. "Thought I nailed down that cat flap."
The Cat King gave him a smug, punchable smirk. He was wearing his stupid skin-tight black leathers, hair all dark and slicked. Wearing sunglasses at night like a tosser. In his hand was a bottle of wine. "Cute. Heard there was a party."
"Oh!" Niko popped up at Charles' shoulder, and bobbed in a little almost-bow. "Hello, your highness!"
He returned it with a gracious nod and an actual, non-ironic smile. Charles didn't know his face was capable of those. "Niko."
"Niko, you invite this prick?" Charles muttered — not actually quiet enough for Whiskers not to overhear, but he wasn't trying that hard.
"I did," said Edwin, appearing at Charles' other shoulder. He raised an eyebrow at the Cat King. "Or at least I made contact, fairly recently. I don't recall disclosing any information about a party..."
"I read between the lines." The smarmy bugger leaned on the doorframe, ignoring Charles' defensive stance. Shoulder brushing up against Charles', he took off his shades, yellow eyes gobbling Edwin up like a meal. "Edwin," he said, drawing out the name like he liked the taste of it.
"Thomas," Edwin returned — and his lips twitched up at the corners. "I suppose you had better come in."
"Oh, well, if you insist," he grinned, shoving the bottle into Charles' hands as he brushed past him. "I just love games. What are we playing?"
"Charles was suggesting a game called spin the bottle. Are you familiar?"
Thomas spun on his heel, and arched both eyebrows at Charles. "Oh, I'm very familiar," he purred.
Christ, could this get any worse...?
~
"Thomas," said Edwin, sternly. Dead calm, considering the bottle neck was aimed at him like the barrel of a gun. "We did say no magic."
"And I am a cat of my word," Thomas swore, crossing his heart lazily. "Must be written in the stars, handsome."
Edwin's eyebrow twitched.
Thomas chuckled. "Or I'm good at spinning bottles. Nothing in the rules against that!"
Edwin hummed. "Seven in a row is impressive."
Charles glowered at the stupid bottle. "I still think he's cheating," he grumbled.
Thomas flashed eyes at him, but didn't pick Charles up on it. Why would he? He had better things to do. "Honey," he purred, slinking on his hands and knees across the circle. "I can keep this up all night..."
"Is that a threat?" said Edwin, dry as a bone — but there was a twinkle of humour in his eyes. They drifted shut, easy as you like, when Thomas tucked a finger under his chin and pressed their mouths together.
Charles squirmed in place, frustration bubbling. He didn't want to look. He didn't wanna see Edwin, with that same gentlemanly poise he'd had while kissing Niko, graciously submitting to that moggy's cheesy moves. He definitely didn't wanna see Edwin's composure crack and his breath hitch when Thomas scraped a sharp fang against his lower lip. Didn't wanna see his hands come up from their neat fold in his lap to cup, tentative, around Thomas' elbows. He didn't want to look, just like he hadn't wanted to look the first six bloody times it had happened.
But it's not like he could look away, either, could he?
Charles grabbed the bottle, snatching it from under the Cat King's boot. This might be the first time in thirty-something years he'd actually regretted sitting next to Edwin for something. Front row seats to seven kisses with this bastard wasn't exactly what he was hoping for out of this. The ones with Niko and Crystal were bad enough. "Alright, alright, don't milk it," he muttered. "My go, is it?"
Thomas broke the kiss — the sound of it grated on Charles' ears like nails on a chalkboard. "Go for it," he said, tossing Edwin a wink as he skulked back to his side of the circle. "See you in the next round."
Edwin cleared his throat, adjusting his collar.
"Charles, how long are we gonna keep doing this?" asked Crystal. Her feet were in Niko's lap and she was down to her last dregs of cider. "We've been round seven times, and there's five of us. We haven't got, like, a whole lot of combinations to work with, here."
His jaw ticked. "Yeah, but. Got a few more yet, haven't we?"
Seven spins, and Charles had managed to snog Crystal twice and Niko three times. He'd landed the bottle on himself twice. Seven spins of this stupid bottle, and Charles hadn't managed to land it on Edwin once.
Crystal groaned, flopping back on the floor with her arms over her face. "Fucking guys," she muttered.
Niko, who had one hand on Crystal's ankle and the other in a bag of crisps, shrugged. "I'm cool with it."
Charles ignored them both. He sized up his spin, took a steadying breath, and let it loose. The bottle whirled round and round, the low office light flashing off it. Rippling in slower and slower rotations 'til it landed, pointed squarely at...
The Cat King grinned, slow and insufferable. "If you wanna take the forfeit on this one, kiddo, I won't be offended." He shrugged. "I'll question your taste, but I won't be offended."
Edwin bit his lip, probably to hold back laughter, and looked away from them both.
Charles scowled. "Sod this," he said, chucking the bottle at the growing pile for recycling. "Let's play Monopoly."
~
There was a bright side, to having to spend the rest of the night with Thomas hanging off Edwin's arm like a trophy wife. And that bright side was watching him lose at Monopoly, badly. The game ended sometime after one in the morning, when Thomas swatted the pieces off the board for the third time and no one could be bothered to reset. Charles had been losing just as bad, half his cash sunk into Niko's indomitable real estate empire, but at least he wasn't getting stroppy about it.
After that, seemed everyone agreed it was the right time to call it quits. Crystal and Niko bundled up in their winter coats, hugged their goodbyes, and got going. Charles would've walked them back to their digs, but they could look after one another alright. He was more concerned about leaving Edwin and that bloody cat alone together. He didn't like the way they were hovering in the doorway, like they were saying goodbye at the end of a date.
"You've come a long way," said Edwin. "I take it you've methods of getting back to Port Townsend tonight?"
Thomas opened his mouth, a glint in his eye. Charles smacked it down with a glare over Edwin's shoulder. Didn't want him getting any ideas about trotting out some excuse to stay the night. Thomas clocked it, and gave a dramatic sigh.
"Pfft. What's a thousand miles to a cat king?" he said, with a dismissive flick of his wrist. "Just a hop through the nearest shadow." His hand alighted on Edwin's arm, tracing down to his wrist with a thumb-claw. "But I love that you're worried about me. Really. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside."
"I'll walk you to the door," Charles blurted, before Edwin could get a word in edgeways. Which only resulted in both of them giving him looks like they knew he was full of shit.
"How chivalrous of you," Thomas drawled.
"Indeed," said Edwin, eyeing Charles up and down. Made him squirm a bit, feeling all hot and exposed under the scrutiny. He was almost grateful when Edwin turned his attention to the Cat King again. "Until next time, then."
"Promises, promises," Thomas purred.
His cocky demeanour evaporated when Edwin leaned in to brush a chaste, fleeting kiss against his cheek.
Charles chewed his lip, and looked at his feet.
"Safe travels," said Edwin, in a softer tone.
He gave a small smile, and turned on his heel to march primly back into the office. And Thomas stared after him with scarred lips softly parted, pupils blown big as planets.
Charles, with an awkward cough, stepped into the hall and shut the office door behind him. "Right," he said. "Off you go, then."
Thomas turned his eyes on him — his pupils sharpened back to points, his lip curled into a scowl. "You're a real little brat, you know that?"
Charles crossed his arms. "Just looking out for my mate. He doesn't need some mangy old stray sniffing round him all hours."
The Cat King gave him a nasty little smile, flashing his teeth. "I didn't see him complaining."
Bristling, Charles planted his feet, squared his shoulders. "You fuckin' starting, or what?"
The bastard just laughed, raising his hands in mock surrender. "Relax, jeez. I'm not picking a fight with some pup on this... dingy little building. I'm leaving."
He turned and walked off down the hall — but he spun back round after a couple of steps. "But, um. If I can give you just one teeny tiny piece of advice?" He didn't give Charles the chance to say no. "He's not gonna wait around forever."
Hit him right between the eyes with that one. Charles flinched. "Dunno what you're —"
"Oh, puh-lease," he groaned, sliding his sunglasses out of his pocket. "You're playing a little game of your own, aren't you? And losing, by the looks of it. Honestly, it's — it's painful to watch. Well, whatever he loves me, he loves me not bullshit you're doing right now, please, enough. Quit sitting around, pulling the petals off fucking daisies, and do something about it. For all our sakes." He opened the folded shades with a flick of his wrist. "Especially his."
He put them on, turned round, and continued his swaggering walk-off. Charles, caught completely on the back foot, scrambled to recover.
"Yeah, that's right, walk away," he hollered. "And keep your bloody paws off him!"
"Oh, don't even worry about it," he drawled. He turned round one last time to lower his shades and rake judgy eyes up and down Charles' frame. "Clearly, he's more of a dog person."
He sighed, stepping backwards into the shadows at the end of the hall. He nudged the shades back up his nose, and the bright candles of his eyes went dark, too. "No accounting for taste."
He melted into the black; the last thing to disappear was the white slash of his sneer.
~
Edwin's eyes were on him the second he stepped back into the office.
"Charles," he said, levelly, setting aside his pen and notebook on the desk. "Please do tell me you didn't attempt to chase a powerful magical being out of our building with a cricket bat."
That surprised a laugh out of him, at least. "No. But would've been good, that." He slumped onto the desk at Edwin's side. "Why are you talking to that wanker again? You do remember the bit about him putting a bloody leash on you?"
"Granted, we... got off on the wrong foot." Edwin leaned back in his chair, steepling his fingers. "But we reached an understanding. Besides, when he's not holding his magic over one's head, he's rather..." he cleared his throat. "Entertaining."
Charles thought of that bloody moggy's wandering hands, his lips. Edwin receiving each and every kiss, oh so politely — 'til the cracks started to show. Thought of him breathless, and soft, and melting under that bastard's touch.
"Right. Entertaining." Charles sprang to his feet. "Think I'm gonna have a walk."
He didn't bother with the door again, stepping right through the window. What was wood, glass, and a three storey drop to a ghost, anyway?
~
Soon as he'd done it, he felt daft. Jumping out the window, sulking around the city in the middle of the night. All because of something a bloody cat said to him. Wasn't his proudest moment. Thing is, the cat may be a dick, but... he wasn't wrong, was he?
Why would Edwin wait forever?
He hadn't thought about it. Because they'd already been together forever, basically. And when Edwin told him he loved him, Charles said they had forever to figure out the rest and he'd bloody meant it. And yeah, alright, that was two years ago, but what was two years to them? They'd still been happy, hadn't they? Same old agency, same old friends. He thought they'd been even better, actually. Closer. Like they were all out of secrets.
But maybe that wasn't true. Edwin never told him 'bout kissing Monty, did he? Didn't tell him he was talking to the Cat King again.
And just 'cause Edwin loved him, didn't mean he had to wait for him to catch up, did it? He was growing up, growing into himself, figuring out what he wanted. Maybe he wanted to go out, meet people, snog people. Maybe he already was, and Charles was too busy sorting out his own jumbled feelings to have noticed. And y'know what, good for him. Good. For. Him.
Took Edwin a while to figure out what he wanted, sometimes. Didn't stop to think about his feelings enough, really, too buried in his books and stubbornness. But when he figured it out, he went for it. Come literal hell or high water, he went for it. Bloody fearless, he was.
Maybe if Charles was half as brave as Edwin Payne, they'd be sorted.
~
"So," said Crystal. "How's the plan going?"
Charles flopped face down on her sofa. "Shit."
"What batshit gimmick did you try this time?"
"Nasty poltergeist threw him 'cross the room. Knocked him out a bit for a minute, he was all like, dazed and that..."
"... And?"
"I... sort of... asked him if he needed mouth to mouth?"
"Charles. You're fucking killing me."
~
Alright, so. Maybe he was getting a bit desperate.
He'd trotted out every excuse in the book — as well as, let's face it, quite a few that weren't in the book for bloody good reason. He'd flirted, he'd teased and prodded. He'd made an idiot of himself explaining why going undercover as a couple was the best way to solve a case. He had looked Edwin dead in his gorgeous eyes when he asked what exactly constituted French kissing, and asked: "want me to show you, mate?"
Oh god, Crystal was right. This plan was bloody stupid. It wasn't even a plan anymore, it was a mad scramble of half-baked come-ons. And it was the best he could do because with every day that passed without kissing Edwin, the need to kiss him just grew. 'Til it was all he could think about, pushing every other thought out of his brain. There was no room for planning and scheming in his head when it was all what if I just gave him a peck, before he left? What if I pushed him against the wall a little? What if I just bloody went for it?
What if he kissed me back?
Even now, Edwin was clouding his thoughts, and he wasn't even doing anything. He was in his usual spot, at the desk, immersed in his work with a little satisfied smile on his lips. Voice light and soft as he muttered protective incantations over the pages of those salvaged short stories. The way his cadence lilted and his hands nimbly sketched out the gestures of the enchantment... Christ, Charles was going out of his mind.
He was out of ideas. He was out of plan, out of investigative tools. What the hell did that leave him with — except for the one thing he swore he'd never, never do?
"Can I kiss you?"
It was like magic, the way Edwin froze completely, head to toe. Nothing moved except his eyes, which shot to Charles and blinked, rapidly. "I... excuse me?"
Fuck. Fuck. "Sorry," Charles blurted, springing up from the couch. God, he'd blown it. He'd buggered it up. He rubbed the back of his head and didn't look Edwin in the eye. "Sorry, I didn't —"
"Charles."
He risked a glance. Edwin , papers forgotten, had both his hands braced on the desk and was staring at Charles like he was a puzzle to solve.
""Charles," he said again, calmly. Gently. "What did you just ask me?"
And just like that, it all spilled out.
"I just — I've been thinking about it, yeah? And, well, what you said to me, in hell? Well I think I might be... that, too. For you. But I don't know, and I don't wanna muck everything up, so I thought maybe if I just... kissed you, it would. I'd know, yeah? I'd know for sure and then I could give you a proper answer, right? So that's what I've been trying to do."
God, he was babbling. Fucking embarrassing. But he hated keeping secrets from Edwin and god, he was the only person Charles had wanted to talk about any of this shit with. He'd been dying to talk to him about it. Even as he felt himself digging deeper into a hole with every word, the relief of finally saying it was immense.
"I just... I wanted to give you the right answer, yeah? No fuck-ups. But now I'm going a bit mental, see, because it's been months and... and all I can think about is kissing you." He laughed at himself. "Is that mad?"
Fuck, it was quiet. He could hear the pigeons on the roof, and the faint tap-tapping of the Night Nurse on her typewriter a few doors down. Edwin didn't say anything a moment, still as a statue, eyes wide, mouth slightly open. Charles was half tempted to walk right through the window again and try and pretend this never happened later.
"...Charles," said Edwin, finally — as he carefully stood up and rounded the desk. "...If I may clarify. Would I be correct in understanding that this has been on your mind for... months, you say?"
Charles fidgeted in place. "Um. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it didn't become like, a plan 'til, um, 'round Christmas, I reckon? But I was thinking about it before that."
"So you've been thinking about... kissing me," said Edwin, drawing slowly closer. "Since last year."
"Yeah. At least, yeah."
Edwin came to a stop right in front of Charles, practically toe to toe, and gave him perhaps the most incredulous look he'd ever worn. "And you have not done so yet because...?"
I have no bloody clue, was Charles' first thought. Standing this close to Edwin's handsome face, it seemed fucking ridiculous.
But he swallowed tightly, same old doubt churning in his guts. "Because... 'cause if you don't like it, or — or if I don't like it, then..." His eyes flickered to Edwin's lips. "I... I don't wanna be the reason you never speak to me aga—"
And that was about as far as he got — because Edwin was kissing him.
Charles' breath caught, his hands flew up — fingers wrapping round Edwin's biceps and hanging on. It was, like... a shy kiss. Edwin's mouth barely opened, and he pressed politely into Charles' lips like he was rubberstamping an envelope. But it didn't matter. Charles still felt like he'd been knocked off his feet. Felt like his blood, or whatever the ghosty equivalent was, was all rushing to his head, his heart, his stomach. Felt like his knees didn't wanna hold him up.
When Edwin pulled away, too soon, you could've knocked Charles over with a feather.
"There," said Edwin, a little breathless. "I started it." He cleared his throat, straightened his waistcoat. "So if it wasn't... satisfactory, then. Well. You're not to blame. And we'll say no more of it. Agreeable terms?"
Charles gaped at him, slack jawed, starry eyed. Edwin, the madman, held his stare. He was panting softly, his pupils blown wide, and he looked nervous but he didn't back down. Steady, determined and... fucking beautiful.
Fearless. Bloody fearless.
Charles took Edwin's face in his hand, stroking his jaw. "You absolute nutter," he breathed, and pulled him in for another kiss.
This one? This one was not polite. Edwin made a fucking brilliant noise into Charles' mouth and surged into him like a tide. His hand on Charles' chest pushed, until his legs hit the sofa and he collapsed onto it. Edwin followed, still pushing, 'til he had Charles practically on his back, pressed into the leather with Edwin all but draped over him. Charles startled a bit but god, he was not complaining. He heard a soft thud, somewhere. Might've kicked something over, the tiny sofa too short for two six-foot lads to sprawl out over it like this. He didn't care. His fingers cracked through Edwin's stiff hair product as he dragged him closer. His other arm wrapped round Edwin's slim waist, locking him in.
It didn't feel like he remembered, the kissing. Back when he was alive. The heat wasn't exactly body heat, so much as... energy. Something that crackled like sparklers and tingled like spice. Edwin's lips didn't exactly feel soft or hard, warm or cold, wet or dry, but they felt real. Real and addictive and, for the moment, not even a little gentlemanly.
One thing's for sure: it did not feel like kissing Kelly Daniels in year nine.
Edwin broke away with a faint gasp. He stared down at Charles with huge eyes and his hair all out of joint, bowtie crooked. He was the most gorgeous, amazing thing Charles had ever seen and Christ, how could he have been so. Bloody. Thick?!
Charles blinked up at him. "Bloody hell," he said, awed. "I am... one thousand percent in love with you."
A mad, wild sort of hope darted across Edwin's face. But he pushed back a little, levering himself off Charles' chest. "You," he breathed, broken by a little disbelieving laugh. "You don't have to say that, Charles. Just because I did, that is. We can — hm — court a time, first, if you'd rather —"
"No, I — I mean it." Charles grabbed his face in both hands. And god, that was a bit nice, too, just holding him. How was he gonna resist doing it all the time? "I've been thinking about it and I was. I was almost sure, yeah? But now I'm definitely sure. I'm sorry. I didn't wanna say anything, 'til I knew, yeah? 'Cause, right, what if I didn't — what if you were Kelly Daniels?!"
Edwin blinked. "Who on earth is Kelly Daniels?" he asked, hopelessly bewildered.
Charles laughed. "Y'know what?" he said, hauling Edwin back down. "Doesn't matter."
Edwin kissed him again, sighing into it. His hands on Charles' neck and thumbing up under his jaw in a way that drove everything else out of his head. But too soon, he pulled back again. "I think it might matter a bit, actually," said Edwin. "On account of it being the reason we haven't been doing this for months, already."
Charles groaned. "It's — she's a girl I liked once, is all. Best mate growing up. Thought I liked her like that, but. I didn't. Screwed things up with her." His hands trailed down Edwin's arms, more than a little awed that he could just do that now. Edwin had proper nice arms. It was a good distraction from baring his soul. "Didn't wanna do that with you."
Edwin's face softened. "You never told me about her," he said. His hand, a little tentative, reached up; thumb coming up to stroke under Charles' eye. He might as well have cracked him open like an egg.
Charles squirmed a little, deflecting his vulnerability on a laugh. "It's — s'not important really, is it? Don't have to tell each other everything." He tugged at Edwin's bowtie. "I mean, you never told me you snogged Monty."
"It was hardly a snog," said Edwin, brows furrowing. "And I was not the one who... instigated."
"I'm not having a go!" Charles blurted. "I'm just. I'm just saying... I didn't tell you 'cause it didn't matter, really, did it?"
"Except it clearly did." Edwin did the worst thing he could have done — he sat up. Charles was embarrassed by how much he missed him already. Edwin perched himself primly on the edge of the sofa, straightening himself out a bit. He couldn't do much about his hair. "If it's been weighing on you. I wish you would have spoken to me about it."
His hand, after some nervous hovering, patted Charles' knee. "I've made it clear that you can come to me with things, Charles. Even if it is not always... comfortable, for me." He cleared his throat, staring straight ahead. "But I'd rather a modicum of discomfort, if it means you can speak your mind."
Charles sat up, hunching into Edwin's space. A part of him was still nervous to reach out and touch, but he did it anyway. Held Edwin's jaw, tilted his face towards him. He looked so wary, so poised and buttoned-up. You'd never guess he'd just been snogging Charles into the couch like some ghosty Casanova. He'd just let out something raw and real, trusted Charles with it, and now all Charles was doing was shutting him out.
He swallowed, stroking Edwin's cheek. "Didn't tell you 'cause I was scared," he admitted. "Haunts me a bit, what happened with her. I didn't... Didn't want you to see how fucked up I was about it.
Edwin exhaled, the hard line of his brows softening. "Charles," he said, tone warm, amused. "With utmost respect: I do not believe you could ever be 'fucked up' in any way that matters a damn to me."
Charles laughed, ducking his head and shaking it. "Alright, alright..."
"I mean, I have seen you commit murder. And arson. And there was that business in oh-nine, with the —"
"Alright!"
"Besides, I've seen far worse," said Edwin, airily. "After seventy years in hell —"
"Oh, you've been to hell?" Charles teased. "Didn't know that about you. Why didn't you say somethin' before?"
Edwin gave him a withering look, head tilted. He wasn't wearing a pair of half-moon glasses but he might as well have been peering over some. But there was a twinkle in his eye and the shadow of a smile on his lips and he was so, so fucking gorgeous it hurt to look directly at him.
"Can I kiss you?" asked Charles, again.
Edwin laughed, a surprised little thing that showed his teeth. "Have I not made the answer to that abundantly clear?"
Charles grinned, pulling him in. "Just checking."
~
"I suppose, in the interest of transparency," said Edwin, some time later. "I should tell you about Monty."
Charles hummed, eyes closed. They weren't sleeping, obviously. But it was tempting, with his ear pressed to Edwin's chest, wrapped round him like an octopus. He could almost trick himself into hearing a heartbeat, pattering soft and quick like the inflection of Edwin's voice.
"He kissed me. I'm afraid I might have... confused him, a little bit." Edwin's long, steady fingers stroked through Charles' curls. It was brills. "I was actually coming to understand my feelings for you at the time, and may have... miscommunicated. I told him immediately that I wasn't interested."
Charles tipped his head back, propping his chin on Edwin's chest, peering up at him under heavy eyelids. "How'd he take it?"
"Well, not excellently," said Edwin, with a quiet tsk. "He did try to feed us to a ghost-devouring fungus not a day later." He scratched absently behind Charles' ear. "Although I believe he was conflicted about it. Might have had a change of heart, in fact. Although when the Cat King revealed his true nature, it all got a bit lost in the shuffle."
"Mm." Charles raised an eyebrow. "Cat King was there, was he?"
Edwin fidgeted slightly under him. "...Yes."
Charles chuckled, tilting his head into Edwin's hand. "What is your deal with that bloke?" he asked, brushing a kiss across Edwin's palm. "Have you two been... you know..."
He told himself, sternly, that he would not get jealous. Hard to be jealous, really — when that prick was sulking around in some warehouse across the sea, and Charles was getting the lapcat treatment.
Edwin's eyebrow twitched. "Certainly not," he said. "But I suppose we're friends, after a fashion. And..."
Charles folded his arms on Edwin's chest and propped his chin on them, watching expectantly. "And?"
Edwin, with an awkward clear of his throat, turned to look at the back of the sofa. He couldn't blush, but Charles could practically feel the way his face was burning. "Well," he said, curtly. "It would be remiss of me not to admit that I find his attention... flattering."
Grinning, Charles pushed up on his knees. "Edwin Payne," he teased, planting his elbows either side of Edwin's head. "You tellin' me you like being admired?"
Edwin's unimpressed face wasn't fooling anyone.
Chuckling, Charles leaned down, nuzzling into his throat. "Not gonna need that cat around for that, anymore," he said, pressing a kiss under Edwin's jaw that had him squirming. "Gonna have me ogling you so much you get sick of it."
"Not possible," said Edwin. He sighed, a gorgeous, throaty sound, and his hand dug once more into Charles' hair, and tightened. "But I should very much like to see you try."
Charles grinned into his neck. This was gonna become his new addiction; making Edwin forget his manners. "Can I —?"
"Always," Edwin interrupted him, dragging his face up out of his throat. "Without question."
"Aces," Charles breathed.
And that, he decided, was enough of the chit-chat. ~~
Jacques Futrelle was a mystery author who died on the Titanic, supposedly taking the last stories he ever wrote with him. Read about him as well as some other interesting lost detective media on this blog post! Hope you enjoyed this, whatever it was! I had SO much fun with the Cat King, I'll have to write more of him. If you enjoyed please consider dropping us a comment, I'd love to hear your thoughts! I sank significantly more time into this than I intended to xD (and for those curious, I'm still testing covid positive but feeling much better! Mainly just sick of being cooped up inside at this point!) 'Til next time - I need to try and wrangle chapter three of Lonely Bones into some kind of shape next 😅
50 notes · View notes