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#i no no wanna get hurt sometimes
kogakio · 2 months
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gang if i start pushing you away and acting like i hate you or if i suddenly change know it isnt real
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kittyandco · 4 months
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does anyone else get so upset when you think about all the things that happened to your f/o... all the things they went through? all the things they haven't healed from? the pain that they may still be enduring? how you can do your best to help them but you can't protect them from everything. so you just love them the ways they needed before, how they deserved. and you see them happy because they finally accept, at least in some ways, that they do deserve it. they deserve love like all beings do
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how i sleep knowing im lonelier than i've ever been and i do it to myself by never texting anyone back or talking to them because im terrified
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thedreadvampy · 4 days
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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gotchibam · 1 month
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Does anyone here draw in both desktop & mobile? I'm planning to get a galaxy tab at some point and since I don't really have any experience drawing on a (mobile) tablet, I'm curious abt how it feels to draw on one vs. drawing on pc w/ a graphic tablet 🤔
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freak-accident419 · 3 months
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me trying to be supportive of all writers and their works but then i see the most scrumptious delicious amazing astounding staggeringly beautifully crafted remarkable mind boggling toe curling breathtaking extraordinary unprecedentedly spectacular phenomenal fic and plot just for it to be fem!reader
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emdotcom · 15 days
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In this hypothetical, the prosthetics are detachable, able to easily be modified or repaired, even customized for visual or fucntional preferences.
Getting them is about as safe as any other major surgery; certain amount of risk, yadda yadda. There's more details that would sway an answer, if this were something currently going on -- like the cost, can you sub out these prosthetics if they ever halt production, do you need medication to retain them, blah blah-- but, here? This is wish fulfillment. If you have something that hurts, or you wish you could just fix or swap out, you get to have it, just this once.
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m1d-45 · 10 months
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rain or shine
summary: you aren’t feeling the best, but luckily for you inazuma’s resident “fixer” is here to do away with your ailments
word count: 1.1k
-> warnings: mentions of nausea, reader doesn’t eat much due to said nausea, dw thoma has you covered though
-> gn reader (you/yours)
taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky || @valeriele3 || @shizunxie || @boba-is-a-soup || @yuus3n || @esthelily || @turningfrogsgay || @cupandtea24 || @genshin-impacts-me || @chaoticfivesworld || @raaawwwr
< masterlist >
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you were having a bad day. plain and simple.
it started yesterday, when you had to stay up late to complete some last minute forms. the estate needed supplies a bit sooner than typical, but you didn’t mind the extra time it took. rain kept you company, a light sprinkle that quickly turned heavy, though thankfully with no lightning. it seemed the shogun was in a better mood today.
you woke up tired, with rolling nausea and a fierce headache. had you caught something? you hoped not, as you were planning on being productive today. a painkiller and a swig of water mostly did away with the headache, but the nausea refused to leave. you couldn’t even properly enjoy your breakfast, only getting through half of it before giving up. maybe you’d have it for lunch? that would save you some time and trouble later…
that was your first mistake. if anything, it only caused more trouble as the day stretched on. you went to the garden with a folder in hand, passing it off to a group of staff waiting by the gates. it was their list of things to pick up, and a lengthy one at that. the party was larger than typical to account for this, but when you were asked to join them, you couldn’t help but agree. they could use the help, right?
your second mistake. the trip was to bring back various supplies—silks, ingredients, toiletries and the like—from inazuma city back to the estate. it was a routine operation, one that you would normally be able to complete easily, except for the fact that it had rained the night before. mud stuck to your shoes, the unusually humid air clinging to your skin. your half-breakfast didn’t help, and your headache was beginning to return again. halfway through, when your crew took a break, you couldn’t stomach anything more than a few sips of water. by the time the final crate was carried back to the estate, you were far past lightheaded, breath coming in thin pants. a few of your fellow workers stopped to check on you—“hey, you should sit down” “what’s wrong?” “here, have some of my water”—but you waved all of them off. you were supposed to help, not worry them. you did have to promise to take a break before they’d let you leave, and though you were grateful for their concern, you did feel a little bitter.
all of this was your own fault, after all. why should you make them worried over something easily preventable?
you walked to your room with a hand on the wall for balance, blessedly not running into anyone. you weren’t sure how you’d explain yourself in you ran into lady ayaka- or worse, thoma. it wasn’t that you’d get in trouble, certainly not, but you were too ill for whatever food or drink they’d offer, and you didn’t feel like distracting either of them from their jobs. thoma especially so, since you knew he’d have a hard time focusing on his work if he saw you like this. it would normally be endearing, but today was everything but normal.
you pushed open the door to your room, pushing it closed behind you without stopping to lock it. the estate had the highest security in inazuma second only to the tenshukaku itself, and you honestly couldn’t be bothered. it’s not like staff were in the habit of snooping through each others rooms, and the extra effort was hardly worth it right now.
your sheets were blessedly cool as you fell onto your bed, barely putting in effort to arrange yourself on it. you’re… just taking a break. that’s all. just resting, and then you’ll get up and do all those things you were supposed to.
after all, it would be irresponsible of you not to, right?
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you wake up to something cold dripping down your face, though your room was still dark. at least no one was here, then… but what was on your forehead?
you struggled to open your eyes, barely making out anything. you could tell someone had closed your door since no light was coming through, but who?
a gentle hand on your shoulder stopped you from getting up, the cold whatever—cloth, maybe?—on your forehead shifting as you did. “stay, you’re alright.”
you let your eyes close. you should have seen this coming, in truth.
“…thoma?”
“i’m right here.” his hand moved up and you could feel his gloves on your cheek as he wiped something away. “and don’t worry, all of my duties were finished while you’ve been asleep. i’m all yours.”
well, at least you weren’t disturbing him. small wins. “what are you doing here?”
“you have a fever,” he said simply. “you likely just caught a small bug and overworked yourself. don’t worry, it should be gone within a day or so.”
you’d been hoping you weren’t sick, that maybe it was the heat of the humidity making you feel ill. then again, you’d also hoped not to fall asleep, so…
thoma took the cloth from your head, and you hear small splashes and the trickle of water. “furata tells me you went out this morning with the other staff.” he places it back on your forehead, wiping away any droplets that spill before they reach your ears or eyes. it’s much cooler now, and you worry about how long he’s been sitting here. “she also says you looked quite tired before you left.”
“thoma-“
“i’m not upset.” as if to prove it, he takes one of your hands in his, squeezing once. “but i am worried. can you tell me why you went with them if you weren’t feeling well?”
“i just wanted to help.”
“i understand that, but you need to put yourself first, love. you can’t help others if you don’t first help yourself.” he removed the towel and put the back of his hand to your cheek, humming, then both were gone. “do you think you could eat something?”
you opened your eyes properly, taking stock of your body and room. he’d propped his vision on your nightstand as his source of light, and though it was small it still stung, your eyes slightly watering. but the rest had been good for you, and your head hurt a little less than it did before. “maybe.”
he smiled, lifting your hand to press a kiss to the back of it. “i can work with maybe. how does soup sound?”
“lovely.”
“perfect.” he lets go of your hand and moves it behind your back, the other hooking under your legs.
“thoma, you-“
“don’t have to, i know.” effortlessly, you’re lifted into the air, greeted with a kiss to your cheek. “but i like taking care of you. now, what kind of tea would you like with your meal?”
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moeblob · 5 months
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I met people I knew only online for the first time irl last night and I'm still extremely exhausted cause I am not a social person so here. Take an OC.
Katale (Kitty) is wonderful and I love her and she's a criminal and that's fine. She likes to look cute and so whenever I see a really cute outfit in public with a specific vibe, I'm like "Kitty would love that". So here. Please. Please know that I saw this very pretty woman jogging with her hair pulled back, running shorts, and the CUTEST top with a little scarf from the same fabric tied and wow. It was. So wonderful, please have a wonderful day @ the lady I saw jogging yesterday.
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dr-wormman · 3 months
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Got a little weird with this one since I've had mosaics on the mind
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angelnumber27 · 5 days
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It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.
#I fucking hate having bpd#while I’m at it I don’t understand the fuckin audacity some people have to say they love you and do horrible things to you#I feel so stupid#I feel so stupid for believing all the lies#but I was so in love and put him on such a pedestal that I just allowed it all.#thinking about someone constantly and grieving over them and knowing they’re perfectly fine and to them you don’t exist#I’m still in such a state of grief and I don’t understand why time hasn’t healed#it honestly feels like it’s gotten worse w time#I just torture myself but I can’t help it my brain wants me dead#it’s so painful I feel so fucking stupid#being abandoned with no closure by someone who’s your entire world#for someone they were unfaithful to you with multiple times (I don’t even know how many and dony want to know) immediately#like that was the plan all along#he took our cat hundreds of miles away and I don’t even know if he still has her or if she’s still alive and I miss her every day#I never loved someone like that and it feels like the heartbreak is actually physically killing me#i spent 1/5 of my entire life with him#I was my prettiest and had the best body at the time and I wasted it on someone who didn’t appreciate me#not wasted. it wasn’t wasted. we had some incredible times together#I’ll never be that beautiful again#and now idk what do so bc i can’t decide which is worse: being alone and isolating or loving deeply and ending up horribly hurt all over#it’s all just so upsetting.#and I feel so stupid for allowing it all#he knows more about me than anyone and he made me feel like he loved me so much sometimes and then did horrid things and it’s so fucked up#nobody read this I’m so embarrassed and horribly broken#it traumatized me so much there was so much abuse and pain idk if I’ll ever recover#I deserved it but it still hurts my heart#I was so mentally ill and sick I know it had to have been miserable to be around me#there are so many things only he understands and knows about me and I need to talk about them I j wanna b able to b there 4 each other#but that girl is so beyond insecure and controlling so. if I want to talk to who fuckin gets me I’m just fucked#why lead someone on like that for years knowing you’re going to abandon them the second it’s convenient
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sadiecoocoo · 2 months
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Wrecker would sit and listen to one of Techs rants about some science stuff. He’d be lying down on his bunk, fidgeting with something probably, and Tech would seem a little antsy on his own bunk. Tech’s lips would be set in a thin line, like he was eager to say something. Wrecker, being bored and not really being able to do anything at the moment, would ask Tech what’s up. Tech would practically explode with information, talking fast and gesturing excitedly at the opportunity to share some of his fun facts about the universe. Wrecker would be taken off guard for a moment, then would smile and listen. He wouldn’t understand most of it, and probably wouldn’t really be that interested in it, but he would listen. At some point he’d start getting into it too, asking questions. Tech would seem more and more excited each time he asked something, though sometimes he’d get exasperated depending on the question. Nevertheless, he would still answer it, then move on to the next fact he felt like he needed to share. Eventually, Tech would start to calm down, having gotten what he felt like he needed to off his chest. He would clear his throat, mutter a small “thank you for listening,” then try to move on with his day. He would feel a little guilty for bothering Wrecker with all of that, he knew his brother didn’t understand half of it, and was likely bored out of his mind by it. But before he could beat himself up about it anymore, Wrecker would get up from his bunk, then give his brother one his famous secure hugs. Tech would flinch, surprised by the sudden contact, then lean into it and hug wrecker back. Wrecker would laugh in his booming voice and say something along the lines that even if he didn’t understand what all tech says, he would always listen when he needed it.
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thedreadvampy · 12 days
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the thing that I really feel about male contraception is it doesn't matter how much you trust your partner because you are simply not always in control of what happens to you. and if shit happens you're going to want to know your bases are covered. you cannot guarantee your partner will be honest but more importantly you cannot 100% guarantee you will only have sexual contact with your partner, and that may not be in your control, and if nothing happens you're fine and if something does happen pregnancy on top of that is the last thing you fucking need
(nb I have been pregnant multiple times and I didn't start hormonal contraception until I was like 28 because I'm afraid of doctors. so my high horse is like. subbasement level. this is a reflection of my innermost feelings not a judgement call.)
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nexttrickanvils · 14 days
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Through *hand wavy* circumstances, Bunkbed Junction and the NSR Artists arrange a reunion between Tatiana and her former band mates from the Goolings.
They thought that maybe with time and age, they could all get closure with their break-up and reconcile (not get back together obviously but just be on friendly terms again.)
The exact opposite happens, time and age has tempered no one and they all still fucking hate each other and everyone is regretting everything as they're stuck in the middle.
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jewishfalin · 3 months
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Ngl still hurt by the anon who said my partner and I are both too feminine to tell im the butch despite the photos in question being from halloween and everything
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his-littlefox · 1 month
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𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪
#im so sick of living in a religious house :((#im sure its the reason for almost all my mental health problems and i cant even discuss it#i wanna respect my religion sm bc my familys believes in it sm but idk how long id be able to take it#i dont even realize how completely drained and numb ive become until im not at home#i have a pretty house loving mom and dad and three siblings and yet ive never felt so alone#its like i dont even know the girl who lives here#she feels nothing she reacts at nothing even talking feels like a chore to her#honestly i miss myself#i miss everything about me#religious values stupid expectations the constant judgment and need to mold me into something#im so tired of it 😭😭#i just wanna live plsss#i dont know when my life will even begin#when will i have a life that’s my own??#without a thousand ppl weighing it down#no one here lets me live 😭😭#sometimes i wish id get kidnapped or smth#or id get lost#but i dont wanna hurt my mom and dad i love them sm!!#every night i hope to wake up somewhere else in a pretty fairytale <33#im sure it’ll happen someday!!#sometimes im so sure itll happen the next day but it hasn’t yet…#i believe in magic and miracles#but sometimes the constant negativity of my home weighs me down so much :((#i know i just have to keep believing to escape!!#maybe my hope isn’t strong enough yet but i know it will be someday!!#ik id one day wake up in a cute life <3#i try so hard to be happy here but ughh sometimes i need to rant#daphnie rambles 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪
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