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padfootdaredmetoo · 2 years

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Hello! I saw you opened requests... May I ask for a female character x Tommy Shelby?

Here's the plot: the protagonist wants to kill him cause he's responsible of her brother's death. She knows he's vulnerable due to Grace's death and she gets close to him taking advantage on his need to have someone beside. A night of love is the perfect moment in which she can carry out her plan, having him alone, disarmed and off guard.. (So NSFW is perfectly ok 😝)

Whether she ends up killing him or not is up to you 🍷 surprise me ✨

I'd just like to have the female protagonist on the "dominant" part. Like... In the show Tom is always the one who wants everything under his supreme control and many fics depict him as such ... Well, he gives me totally opposite vibes, if you know what I mean 😂

That's all ✨ I'm looking forward to reading this! ❤

This was a super fun request!!!! I hope I got what you mean..... I tried really hard. Honestly kind of a slut for sub Tommy. Never thought about it before- but - I might be in love.

Any way because I'm such a softy I made two ending options.... I'll let you all decide which one I was more into ;)

Warnings: dealing with loss, murder, gang type stuff, seduction with bad intentions, sex, oral sex fem receiving, orgasms, kinda kinky, hopefully hot

Eventually the moment he was dreading was clear in view. The large house came into sight making his stomach turn violently. As if sensing it Charlie started to kick up a fuss. His little cries for his mother doing nothing to settle the pain in his chest.

Grace was dead. This house was horrible. Charlie seemed to loudly agree in his own way. So why did he come back?

Appearances mostly. He needed to get his feet back on the ground and settle the situation. The Russians had a tight rope around his neck, if only they would pull a little tighter. The Italians were waiting in the shadows like hungry wolves.

Charlie’s pudgy little hand tugged on the white collar of his shirt making him hate himself for thinking such things.

He got Charlie settled back into the house, envious of the sleeping child next to him. He had no idea when the next time he would be able to rest.

There was a lot of work to be done.

______

Readers POV

Growing up in a mob family was not what most people expected. Your brothers carried an unhealthy amount of pressure, while you were completely ignored.

The Shelby - Italian feud had carefully made its way to your family. Your youngest brother was to prove himself to the family & organization by killing the ever annoying Thomas Shelby. Not a simple task by any means.

You wished it was you that pulled the trigger, you wouldn't have missed. The aftermath of Grace Shelby’s body crumpling to the floor left you with two dead brothers, and an engagement to a man you hated. They fought hard to get out but it was no use. He went for a grand shooting in the middle of the room, your other brother's attempt to get him out was useless. Your stomach twisted as you knew taking a shot like that was a suicide attempt… Maybe this was his way out of the family business. Tears stung your eyes and you shook your head, surely he wouldn't have left the consequences on his siblings?

You felt trapped by this grief, maddened by it. The way everyone reacted, especially your father, started a mass unraveling of your whole life. You became buried under harsh realizations and questions on how you were raised. Everything started to evaporate once they were dead, leaving you with a drive to fix the unfixable. You knew that there was no way out of your life's path, yet your mind was determined, spinning in blood lust.

You laid in bed as the cool summer air caressed your skin. Mind engulfed by every bit of information you had collected about what had happened. The cocky smiles of their faces the last time you saw them slowly fading, replaced by the heavier, more traumatizing memory of their broken bodies being returned to your family.

The rest of the crime families your father associated with thought it pathetic, and embarrassing. Out of shame or fear from the Shelby family, people started to try and back away from your father. This meant you were requested to marry into the Changretta family. You were given the task to clear the family name, strengthen bonds, bring the business back, all well someone else got to destroy Thomas Shelby….

A plan had started to form in the absence of sleep. They were your brothers, it was your family given the task, naturally it should be you to complete the task. If you could kill Thomas your family's reputation would be restored earning you enough praise to slip out of the unwanted marriage. Not to mention they would surely benefit from the division of the Shelby estate.

You drape yourself in black fabric and sit in church everyday. Asking for forgiveness, asking for a direction forward. More than revenge, you wanted a way to escape all this life. Killing Thomas just seemed like the best way forward. Looking at the statue of Mother Mary in front of you, her eyes filled with something you’d never felt. You wanted her to tell you what to do.

No clouds in the sky broke, sending a beam of light into the room. No one descended from the sky. No messages fluttering from the grand ceiling.

Instead a group of girls sat in the back of the church attempting to speak in hushed whispers. You were annoyed at first, until you recognised one of the voices to be Ruth Berryman, a known friend of Ada Shelby. You listened as she described the family's peculiar way of grieving the loss of Grace. How Thomas had disappeared and would be returning to the public eye in a charity event hosted at his house. She went on to speculate that he’d hidden himself away to drown in women and opium.

You didn't have any opium, but you were remarkably pretty when you wanted to be… All you needed to do was dress up and sneak in, then get Thomas alone.

A silence fell over the space as Elizabeth Gray made an entrance. You pulled your scarf around your head a little tighter as you watched her slender frame fall into a seat. She looked exhausted, you felt a strange sense of sadness for her. The image of your brothers flashing in your mind pushed that feeling down until it was unreachable.

___________________

Your parents were more distant than ever, no one noticed you plotting away in your bedroom. As long as you were on top of your wedding planning no one paid you any notice. The loneliness started to seep into your bones again, making you feel weighed down. You poured another cup of coffee trying to shake the feeling off. Everyone would see you clearly once this was over…

The night of the event had come around. You had an entrance secured and a clear exit plan.

You looked over your body in the gold framed mirror. The fabric rested heavily on your curves. You would never normally wear anything like this, and you couldn't escape the powerful feeling it gave you. Your body was displayed in a way that was elegant while also being undeniably sexy. You pinned your dark hair up and did your make up.

You’d never seduced anyone before but looking over your final look you felt it shouldn't be too hard.

You pulled up to the large house, leaving your car down by the road. You were late enough that no cars were pulling up the drive to notice your descent on the house. Your long black wool coat covered you from chin to ankle, making you look a part of the woven night.

You made your entrance under a fake name and joined the mess without anyone thinking twice about you.

_________________________

Tommy POV

He wished that this event had been unnecessary. The effort it took to stand about moving from conversation to conversation was almost unbearable. His bones were on fire, head pounding, all he could do was pour more whiskey and hoped it would take the edge off. The night dragged on, until a woman caught his eye.

She was tall, wrapped in a tight red dress, and had a look in her eye. The room seemed to be swallowed by her presence, the light bending to wrap around her. Her dark eyes held a gaze that made it hard to breathe. She walked over to him like this was her house, tall and proud, despite not being invited.

“Mr. Shelby.” Her voice floated around him like smoke. She looked content as he held the silence between them, searching her eyes for what secrets they were holding.

“I don’t believe we’ve met?”

“Y/N L/N” She held her hand out to him. He knew she was lying but he couldn't help but the wave of desire that crashed over him and holding her slender fingers in his hand.

They chatted for a while, no mention of Grace, or work. He met everyone of her lies and questions with honesty. He watched as his answers spun around in her eyes, she seemed conflicted, but not surprised. He wanted to impress her, but she was unmovable, like stone. She conducted the conversation, and decided which of his answers she wanted to elaborate on.

Things started to wind down, and he regretfully had to remove himself from her presence to wrap the evening up. She showed no interest in leaving, pouring herself another glass of whiskey.

Polly set in on him about how stupid this was, but he shrugged it off. He knew that there was something this woman wanted to say to him, he was determined to figure it out. Everything about her was weighted heavily with significance. She was here for a reason, maybe because of the Russians, maybe the Italians, but he felt it was something above business. She had nothing vicious in her eyes, there was something she wanted desperately, but it wasn't violence.

___________________________

Readers POV

Thomas Shelby was an interesting man. He didn't try to step on your toes, he let you lead the conversation. Never mocking, always hanging on your words. His answers were not what you expected. He wasn't what you expected. Every time you touched him you felt something bigger than grief for the first time in so long.

Eventually he took you into his study to wait while he wished his guests well. You listened as his family loudly made their way upstairs. Stumbling and laughing on the stairs. Elizabeth Gray’s voice carried into the office as she laughed and poked fun at another Shelby woman.

You thought about snooping around his desk but you were stopped by the picture of a woman staring back at you.

His wife's eyes found the words in the back of your head and twisted them painfully. She was dead, and the sadness in him was still very visible to someone who was grieving just the same. Dead at the hands of your brother. He flashed before you and you started to feel sick.

It was either this or be married. Unfortunately your mind was already set.

Thomas entered the room slowly, his eyes dragging over your lounging body. The couch was comfortable and the fire light only made everything seem more warm and intimate.

“Sit with me?” It was meant to be a question but it came out more like an order. He looked at you for a moment before sitting next to you. He was so close you could feel the cold air still attached to his suit jacket.

You didn’t want to talk anymore. It would only make this harder for you in the long run. You needed to get him out of his jacket, make sure he didn't have any weapons still on him.

You raised your hand to brush your fingertips along the short hair on the side of his head. He closed his eyes, and leaned into your touch, your heart gave a twinge as the fire light only made him look more tired.

You were going to fuck up if you kept this up. You dragged your hand down and tugged on his jacket, he wordlessly removed it.

“And the vest” You whispered, there was something in his eyes that made you hate yourself. A wetness started to pool between your legs, even your own body was betraying you.

You pulled your skirt up your thighs and moved to straddle his lap. His hands went to your hips to help settle you into place. You felt the power of sitting here on his lap, his eyes heavy as he looked at you.

“Do you want to kiss me?” You asked in a smoky tone. His eyes flashed in a way that made you feel like gravity had increased. You were falling into him more and more.

“Yes” His tone was breathy and you wished things were different as you studied him. He was so willing to let you take charge. You liked being seen.

He waited patiently for your mouth to reach his, he let your lips take charge, and you deepened the kiss slowly. He was breathless, cheeks flushed, his hands were digging into your hips painfully. You loved the way he clung to your body, how badly he needed you to take his pain away.

Your hand wrapped around the side of his neck causing him to moan. You pushed his head back to rest on the top of the couch exposing the length of his pale throat. You went in for a deeper kiss, holding his neck firmly in place you—----

Option one:

Take your other hand up to your chest and pull the small knife from between your breasts. Quickly you drag it across the skin of his neck. He gasped into your mouth as the blood started to rush down his body. You looked into his eyes and admired the love you felt.

“Thank you” He whispered softly. You held his body while he left this earth for something better. He slipped away so peacefully you knew that it must have been more of a favor to him than anything.

The house was quiet and you made your way to the window behind the desk and slipped away into the night peacefully. Things went back to usual in your family so you decided it was in your best interest to move on. The war got worse, Tommy's brothers took over and his Aunt was determined to destroy your family. You had the money, so you ran away, unnoticed, placing as much distance between you and Birmingham as possible.

Option Two:

You stopped suddenly. Looking over his face.

“Tell me what it is.” He whispered, pupils blown out. You knew that it would be suicide to tell him the truth. Death seemed like a friend you would greet with open arms. Your vision was filled with the photo on his desk, his wife. His dead wife. The smaller photos of a little boy. Eyes bright, motherless. You pressed your head against his and took a shaky breath.

“My brother - I - I came here to kill you.” You watched how his face didn't change. Stayed just as relaxed and calm.

“What have you decided then?” He asked like he was asking if it was raining. You knew a part of him wishes you would go through with it, just like there was a part of you that would be more than happy to die at his hand.

“I can’t do it.” You said feeling a weight lift off of you.

“Why not?” His eyes were back in focus now searching you.

“You feel different -” You couldn't explain it. He was different and it was intoxicating. “And you have a kid upstairs.” You shook your head. You would either die right here, or you would go home to die everyday beside your husband. Either way you’d finally made your choice.

His big hands ran along your body and you could see him weighing his options carefully.

“Be a shame if either of us died without fucking first eh?”

You nodded at his crude words and your mouths met again instantly.

You both fought for control at first, ripping each other's clothes off, hands groping frantically. You ended up falling off the couch landing flat on your back. The texture of the carpet was surprisingly soft and the heat from the fire kept you comfortable. He parted your legs, leaning down towards you. You gripped a handful of the longer hair at the top of his head and used all your strength to push his head where you wanted it. He let out a deep moan as you pressed his face into your hot flesh. He submitted entirely and ate you out like he was starved. Tongue caressing you coupled with the sharp suction created by his mouth had you writhing.

“Ah yes. So good. Fuck -Tom” Your words came spiraling out of you as he worked you over. His eyes flashed up at you with a different kind of need. He wanted to make you happy, he wanted to know it made you happy.

You were getting close, but you wanted to cum around him. You pushed his face off and he got up on his knees, heavy cock standing proudly. You wrapped your slender finger around him, the walls off your pussy fluttering at the size of him. God he was going to destroy you. You could see he was about to lose his patience with your hand, you were naked and strung out. It was his time to take charge.

“Are you ready?” You asked him, tightening your grip on him, you wanted to push him further.

“Yes” He moved toward you but you only squeezed him further causing him to moan.

“See if I’m ready” You whispered into his ear like it was a dirty secret. You felt his fingers push into you slowly and his head dropped to rest on your shoulder. You let out a moan when his fingers rubbed against the spot you needed him the most.

“Feels so good, so good at stretching me open” You whisper, feeling his jaw clench against your neck. You wanted to see his face but wouldn't push him. You had no idea what you were doing or why it felt this good.

“Feel how wet you made me?” He let out a deep groan and you felt his cock twitch in your hand.

“You think I'm wet enough?”

“Yes” He answered out of breath.

“Are you sure? You're so big”

“Fuck - Yes” He was so far gone and you’d barley touched him. You were fairly confident that you could make him cum just like this, and it would still be the hottest thing that had ever happened to him.

“You want to fuck me now?” You pulled his cock against your wet folds causing him to make a small strangled noise.

You took that as the answer it was, lining the head of his cock up with your wet entrance you guided his hips forward. You expected him to take over, rip through you to find his release, take his revenge. Instead he followed the wordless directions of the hand you had placed on his hip. This time it was your turn to groan. He stretched you out so slowly, soon you were at your limit. Taking all of him was a beautiful and painful task. Guiding him to pull out and slowly move back in pleasure won over the pain and your hips moved to meet his shallow thrust.

“God, you fill me so well” You felt his body melt under the praise. You guided his hips in and out of you slowly feeling yourself slip away. The pace got quicker gradually and eventually he was fucking you with a stregth that ruined you for anyone else.

There was only so much you could take before you demanded he touch you. His thumb circled your clit, his body pushing you somewhere it hadn't been before.

“Please, dont stop - Tom - Ah - youre going to make me cum - fuck baby make me cum” Words spiraled out of your moth and he drank each one of them down. Fucking you harder, he took you over the edge, your body swallowing him. Walls rhythmically contracting pull him over the edge spilling inside you. He rode both of the orgasms out before collapsing on you. Your arms held him tightly, not wanting him or the feeling inside you to go.

He broke your hold and held himself above you. His hand came up to caress the side of your neck and you took one last look of his blue eyes before closing your own. You tilted your chin up exposing his neck. You waited for his other hand to embrace your neck, for him to take your life.

“Promise you won’t bring harm to me or my family.”

Your eyes flew open and met his gaze. “I promise” He gave you a nod then pulled out of you slowly. His mouth moved to suck a deep mark into your throat before he pushed himself back inside you. After pulling another orgasm from you he cleaned the both of you up.

“What are your plans for next friday?” He asked as you both sat on the floor in front of the couch. You were sipping whiskey and smoking cigarettes unsure of what to make of the situation that just happened.

“I’m supposed to be getting married.”

“For business or love?”

“Business, my brothers couldn't kill you and that led to a lot of problems.”

His face twisted briefly remembering the problems it caused him as well. He was quiet and you felt yourself yearning to apologize.

“We both lost a lot because of this. I don't even know who started all of it but I’d like to end it. Leave all of it, everyone and thing behind if I could” He studied you carefully before lighting another cigarette.

“How bout I make a counter offer then?” His words hit you like a truck. Surely he couldn't be serious.

“I’ll marry you. Take the territory that would have been handed down to your brothers. In return you can do what you like within reason and the fighting stops.”

You thought about it for a long moment. You thought about all the plans everyone was making, how much destruction was about to move into action.

“Can I do what I like to you?”You asked in a cheeky tone, desperate to stop thinking about everything. You watched his gaze get hungry.

“Most certainly”

“I won't share you. With anyone, ever” The words were out of your mouth before you realized what you said. He may not love you, this may be for business, but the thought of someone else touching him and having him like that caused your blood to boil.

“Somehow I don't think that will be a problem” The corner of his mouth pulled up into a ghostly smile.

You clink your glasses together and fell back into a comfortable silence, your head resting on his shoulder.

___

They did get married, it was a business deal that ended the feuding. (Saving John)

She freaks out about how to look after Charlie because her parents were so distant towards her growing up that she has no idea what to do. Polly and her bond over this. Charlie almost immediately gets attached to her. Eventually she proves herself to the rest of the family.

She takes good care of Tommy, giving him someone to trust. But she's very opinionated and they fight a lot. Its explosive and usually ends with them fucking against any surface. She just wants the family to be protected and doesn't like taking big risks. So they balance each other out a little. Tommy’s calm and she’s so tired of being calm that the first chance she gets to lay into someone she takes it.

The first time she had to kill someone it was to protect Charlie. She broke down after the situation because she almost did that to Tommy. Everything she had now - a family that loved her and respected her, a husband that paid attention / was kind to her, a little boy that called her mum and ran to her every time he was scared - She got all of that from Tommy - He has to hold her for hours before she calms down. That's when they realize that they really love each other.

Tags list: @tommydoesntpayforsuits @misselsbells06 @kpopgirlbtssvt

If anyone wants to be added to the list just let me know in my inbox!

#I hope this is good #Tommy shelby #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby smut #tommy shelby imagine #Thomas Shelby #been trying to work on it for forever #thomas shelby x reader #Thomas Shelby smut #Peaky binders #peaky blinders imagine #Peaky blinders request #peaky blinders fanfic

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fandomshatepeopleofcolor · 2 years

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speaking about Our Flag Means Death: white fans are visiting the grave of the real Stede Bonnet and leaving flowers, writing slavery porn fics and saying black people need to "separate fiction from reality" every time a black person talk about Stede enslaved caribbeans on his sugar plantation. Stede fans makes "cute" headcanon about sugar plantation: "Stede owns a sugar plantation. He gives his boyfriend everything, including ungodly amounts of sugar in his tea. Stede Bonnet is Ed's sugar daddy"

Ok so full disclosure I did watch like half of the show because I hadn't seen the facts about it and then when I did I stopped. And like its very upsetting because stede is depicted as such a nice guy. and its frustrating because white queers wear shirts of our flag means death and like I can't trust them you know? Like what if they're reading the slave porn fics? Like its just so unhealthy for me and I'm not even directly impacted by it because I've only got 6% african ancestry. So I can just imagine how horrible it must be for Black people who have to see the endless fics and merch.

anyways this is the kind of shit that makes fandom toxic to Black fans.

mod ali

#our flag means death #stede bonnet #fandom anti blackness #slavery fics

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polarbearaone · 3 years

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kyo request👁👁

if you want and are comfy ofc! could you write headcanons for kyo with a s/o whos having a bit of a difficult time and they just can’t seem to be happy/they’ve been crying a lot?? i’ve been having a hard time and i could use some comfort <33

thank you, have an amazing week!!!!! mwah mwah

a.n: i may have been biased writing this as I too wanted kyotani to hold me through my tough times 🧍🏻. im a gangsta tho 🚗 but thank you for requesting this! it hit home😞

Kyōtani Comfort

quick note before I begin, remember that it is totally ok to feel down sometimes! Its totally ok to feel like not getting up! What is not ok is holding all those emotions in! I know that I am not the most active person but if you ever want to talk something out, or just have the company of someone, shoot me a message! I want to add my social media handles, where I am much more active!

onto the fic!

Kyotani isn't the most talkative person, but he is the person that knows you the most. He can always tell your emotions based on simple things. He’s learned to read you over the years.

Recently, you’ve denied a couple dates, your grades have slipped a bit and your eyes are puffier than usual. You’ve let in kyotani sometimes when you are feeling down but he knows that you dont wan’t to seem like a bother.

All he wants to do is hold you and fight all these bad emotions away. He just wants to whisper sweet words into your ear and make you have the brightest smile ever, which let to his following plan.

It was friday, you missed school to have an early start of the weekend. Your parents were working and it was so silent. Fighting to have some sleep but it never came, it felt like an endless cycle of closing your eyes only to open them again until you heard faint knocks on your window.

Pulling back your curtains, you find your loving boyfriend sitting on the window ledge

“Baby please open up, its cold and you know I don't like heights”

Giggling softly, you let your boyfriend in. With him was his gym bag which contained Kyotani’s big plan to make you feel better.

His hoodies, his cologne, scary movies, an unhealthy amount of snacks and one of your favorite stuffed animals you accidently left at his house.

Before you could even react to the contents of the bag, Kyotani’s hands found their way around your waist.

“ I know its been hard, and I know you think you’re good at hiding it but you're not baby. Not to me at least. You’re the strongest person I know and it pains me to see you fighting all this by yourself. Please, let me help you.”

He couldn't even finish his statement before your tears soaked his hoodie.

“ I got you now baby, im here”

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #hq #hq x reader #hq kyoutani #kyoutani kentarou #kyoutani x reader #mad dog #mad dog x reader #kyotani x reader

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purgatoryandme · 3 years

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Ik your not that into bnha anymore but i was stalking your bookmarks and I see that you have?? My fav unfinished fic in there?? I would really really love to hear your thoughts on Victims of Circumstance by Chalcet, like where you think it would’ve gone, how you would’ve written it etc.. (btw your ideas for a rewrite of the stain arc were so interesting I weep)

Every so often I fall back into BNHA fic Hell depsite being :^) at canon and its wild thematic swings, so I'm usually down to clown re: talking about popular fics. The fandom is, at a whole, stupidly talented. That said, I always forget that my bookmarks under my author account are visible sksksksk - it's like...under 10% of what I actually have saved!

VoC is a fic I haven't read for awhile, so forgive the lack of detail - I did a quick skimmy reread!

I thought the story was a really interesting take on crime from a ground level perspective - a perspective from which someone like Izuku, Quirkless alone and YOUNG, could really make a difference. Usually Quirkless Izuku stories are about overcoming barriers, proving yourself with ingenuity, saving individuals from awful events... but also about accepting limitations in heroism when it comes to big bosses and how this can be dealt with via teamwork...with powerful people. It's usually quite bombastic, full of vivid victories and defeats (like the source material!). Very few of them are about the origin and lasting impact of crime on a systemic level, and when they are, usually Izuku graduates past this stage very quickly - ie. when he's "ready" to fight bigger crime.

VoC doesn't do that. One of the opening lines is just !!! "It was calculated idealism—otherwise, how could you live?" - that right there carries the spirit of story, the spirit behind Izuku's actions, which is a root that just! doesn't! get! dug! out! It even lives on in the title people choose for him: The Mediator. VoC is all about balance, about communication, about empathy in small actions having a value equivilant or greater to bombastic declarations of sacrifice ("None of the help I offer is meant to demean you"; "Information is money. And privacy? Mercy"). It's also about luck (the ace card!!!), right place right time, and how bravery is often only a single step from stupidity - you could die at any minute, and no amount of planning will save you, but God you should try to live anyway; "Izuku, promise me you'll do whatever it takes to survive".

The first chapter is really elegant! It inserts its themes from the get go, builds on them while humanizing your protagonist, and doesn't shy away from how young he is - how unhealthy he is, living the way he does. How vulnerable ("That was it. The one person." Because that's all it would take for his house of cards to tumble). It gives you the mantras he and his community cling to, and shows you, almost flippantly, a little glimpse of what those mantras really mean (just wanting everything to be ok, to be fair) when people almost accept an offer they KNOW comes from a madman, and how easily they're talked out of it. At its heart, the story is more than a little bit about making a gamble and how, hero or villain, every characters story is a gamble, too.

Everything afterwards is just !! so kind !! Izuku is so brittle, but he has this core-deep genuine desire to just...soothe the hurts of the people around him. To see how scared they are, even when he's scared himself.

As for where I think it would've gone, I'm not sure! The story had barely begun when the author's account was orphaned (though their tumblr remains). Based on how the intro ran, though, I think they might've slowly introduced 1-A to the aspects of heroism that UA doesn't teach. Maybe Izuku's core group would get the chance to see some volunteer work, Ochako through poverty and Iida through vigilanteism? It seems like the author would still have the Training Camp disaster and stick with a lot of canon elements, so I'm not too sure where things would go from there with Izuku's interactions with the LoV. Perhaps Bakugou's kidnapping would've lasted longer and Izuku would've been there too, allowing the media to add fuel to the fire re: their villainy and giving Bakugou and the rest of 1-A a very unique chance to understand the perspective of the people on the bottom. I think Izuku was going to be offered OfA eventually, though I haven't got the slightest idea if he would take it or not - his conversation with Todoroki implies he'd feel obligated to, but his unique position implies that he might actually be screwed over by it. All in all, I can't think of how I would've approached it, since the author's voice is so strong and not at all like mine. I really appreciate that about the fic!

#reply #bnha #victims of circumstance

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cryptvokeeper · 3 years

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There's a problem regarding Ao3 & the amount of CP in it, what would happen if Ao3 begin to take action to delete those? On one hand it's good but what about the other hand?

ok ive tried like three times to write this and get my thoughts across and I am just goin through it so im just gonna try it this way. I hope it makes sense;

The thing is, if ao3 were to stand up tomorrow and say “ok thats it! no more CP on ao3!” while it would be a nice gesture, thats not really much of a concrete rule. The website would have to actually establish in their rules/moderation, what they consider to be CP. And the thing about that is that as pretentious as it sounds, fan works are still art, and that makes them really, frustratingly subjective, which makes judging works based on some sort of concrete definition of CP really difficult.

Like even if we use the simplest definition; “no nsfw content involving minors.” Ok, what if the original media has nsfw involving minors? Something like Heathers, or Mean Girls, or Riverdale or any other media in a high school setting with horny teenagers in it?

Maybe we narrow the definition “no nsfw content with characters under 14″ Alright, what if the creator ages up the character? And is it enough to just state in the tags ‘oh theyre over 18 in this’ or to just mention it offhandedly in a single line of the fic before getting into the dirty stuff? maybe the definition is “no nsfw between a minor and an adult” Again, what if it was in the original media. If one character is aged up or down to even the ages? And what if the nsfw is only a small portion of a larger story? does the whole story get purged or just that one chapter?

“No nsfw content for kids’ shows/books/movies/video games” how do we define whats a kids show? Is it based off its rating or reading level? Is it determined by what channel it airs on? By its primary audience? And how would ao3 get that kind of information? What about older cartoons or books that the original audience is nostalgic for? Is there a point of expiration where its ok because the original audience is over 18 by now?

And maybe youre getting frustrated at this point and just saying “Well just dont be fucking gross!” and again, theres the problem, that what crosses the line into gross is subjective. What if a work is using something gross to explore concepts like abuse or an unhealthy relationship? When does something go from a valid portrayal of an uncomfortable subject matter to an upsetting one? Those are issues that arise on a case by case basis, and when you try to define what is ‘acceptable’ and what isnt, you end up with alot of grey area that doesnt fall neatly into ‘problematic’ or ‘unproblematic’. This is to say nothing of the people who maliciously report fics they dont like in bad faith in an effort to get them taken down.

Ok, now that ive gotten all that pretentious shit out of the way I can say that YES, there is plenty of CP that is just straight up gross and weird and shouldn't be around. but unfortunately if you try to take those down, you have to give reason, and then enforce those reasons equally across your platform. If AO3 starts trying to enforce stricter guidelines, a lot of fics would get caught in the crossfire.

I hope that makes sense

#ao3

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skvaderarts · 3 years

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Devil May Cry OC Week Day 4!

I’m actually really excited for @dmc-oc-week day for because it gives me the opportunity to talk about Sirrus without delving into spoilers! Yay loopholes!

This contains slight spoilers, but nothing super important. Just keep that in mind. it won’t effect anything, but if you want to go in totally blind, tread carefully.

Dislikes:

Note: if your wondering why I did dislikes first, it’s because that’s just how Sirrus is lol! He’s not a downer, but he likes to think of himself as a realist, but he’s slightly closer to being a pragmatic nihilist, and that lack of optimism lingers in his day to day life because he’s naturally going to have his guard up at all times. He can’t be disappointed if his expectations are nonexistent. Big mood, Sirrus.

1. His father. As previously mentioned, Sirrus is not on good terms with his father. At all. In fact, he’s actively waiting for his father’s hubris to catch up to him along with some of the enemies he’s made along the way so that he himself doesn’t have to confront him and possible end him because he knows he has it coming, but he doesn’t have it in him to do it himself. He’s probably powerful enough, but he just doesn’t have the heart. Despite everything, he’s still got a small ounce of compassion in his heart towards his father that he can’t let go of, something that he loathes about himself. It’s pretty unhealthy.

2. People that abuse power, authority, or social standing. This is actually a large issue in his own immediate family, and that’s part of why his dislike for it is so powerful. He genuinely believes that you should positively contribute to the lives of others if you have the means to, and if nothing else, that you should not detract from them. As a result, he’s developed a dislike of a large portion of people in power because, I mean, fair enough. But his family does not escape this designation, and that’s a large part of why he does what he does. Not because he believes he has superior judgement or standing over others, but because he cannot solve a problem that he does not understand. So as a result, he has to go out into the field and learn from those his work effects. Assuming that he knows what’s best for everyone while simultaneously never having met those people is literally what he hates most about most people in positions of power, and he strives to not do the same. Being powerful doesn’t mean that your smart, and he knows that first hand. I feel like Sirrus would be into the “eat the rich” thing if it was a thing in the DMC universe. Very into it.

3. His mother. I feel like this one may come as a bit of a surprise to some of you who know more about him from the fic since he’s literally only mentioned her once, and doesn’t speak of her in any broad sense, but Sirrus isn’t on the best of terms with his mother, either. He doesn’t harbor any negativity towards them for splitting up when he was young. In fact, he considers it the best thing that either of them has probably ever done. But he has his reasons for not being on good terms with him mom. Day 6 will cover family and background, so I’ll get to go in depth on that day! For now, lets just put it under the broad but totally accurate category of “extremely toxic and codependent relationship” and go from there. Maybe I’ll make a family tree you you can see how messed up everything is! Yea, that would be fun! Would you like to see that?

4. Extreme heat and sun. In truth, while he does in fact become more powerful in bright sunlight, he still hates it. Why? Simple. It gives him migraines due to one of his existing (but not yet disclosed) abilities. And he just hates to be hot. He’s on the pale side (Ok, he almost makes V look like he has a tan.) so he gets sun burned. And because he’s used to a cooler climate, hot places drive him NUTS. I suppose you could say that “Discomfort” is a dislike of his, too.

5. Desk work. This one probably seems pretty random, but as an adjudicator, he actually has to occasionally file reports, and he ABSOLUTELY HATES EVERY SECOND OF IT. He’s good at what he does, no question there, but it’s kind of like being good at sending corporate emails when you hate the fake corporate politeness that you have to maintain, and you basically despise half of the company you work for. Why does he keep the job? Simple. Because no one can abuse the power of the position he’s in if he does it himself. And for him, that’s worth hating a large aspect of his job,

Likes:

1. V. Yup you read that right. Sirrus absolutely adores V, something that he himself is not used to. At this point, he’s not entirely sure what he feels towards him since they haven’t known one another for very long, but he does realize that he means quite a bit to him. After V saved his life in the fic, he really started to pay more attention to him. Before, they were friendly and he had to admit that he actually did find both V and Nero (and Nico, for that matter) really cute, but that was about it. And then as they started spending more time around one another, Sirrus realized that perhaps he liked being around V for a reason. He’s still working on understanding what he feels, but with everything going on in the fic, for now he’s just there to help and figure out what’s going on so that everything turns out alright. Then he can worry about everything else. But for now, he’s just working it out as he goes and trying to distract V from everything going on in the fic. He realizes that he’s got a lot going on, and he genuinely just wants him to be happy for a few damn minuets.

2. Being around equally strange people. Sirrus feels like an outcast most of the time, so as a general rule, he tries to associate with people as little as possible. That being said, the DMC crew makes him feel right at home, and the supreme otherness that he feels much of the time dissipates when he’s with them. It’s a welcome feeling to be sure.

3. Wine. Sirrus actually enjoys wine quite a bit! It’s something he likes the taste of, and due to his biological inability to drink, it’s something he can basically enjoy without consequence. That being said, his favorite wine is absolutely disgusting to basically everyone who’s ever tasted it (aside form V, much to his surprise) and that may be because of a certain added ingredient that was put into it for flavor. What can I say, he has unorthodox tastes!

4. Cooking good food. Sirrus doesn’t actually need to eat, but he does like to entertain those around him. If he likes you, he will cook for you. It’s that simple. It’s something from his own culture that’s been instilled in him; the idea of taking care of those that show kindness to you. And believe me, that doesn’t happen to him very often. He’s largely ostracized in most social interactions despite the fact that he says and does nothing to cause this. Its a key reason as to why he doesn't talk about what he is. It makes people... uncomfortable. And to add to that, he has a sort of aura to him that unnerves people. The way he tends to look at people at though he’s looking through them instead of at them doesn’t help.

5. Fine arts. Something that doesn’t come up much in the books is that Sirrus has hobbies. And a love for the fine arts. All of them. The more unorthodox, the better. Sirrus is that person who is dead inside and will stare at a piece of artwork for ridiculous amounts of time, pondering it’s meaning. Not in a pretensions way, but in a “what the hell am I doing with my life” sort of way. He’s a walking essential crisis, but he’s nothing if not self aware. But in regards to the arts, if it’s a form of expression, then he’s all for it. And he will probably ask you to teach it to him or become a financial patron to your work. He thinks that art and the people that make it are under appreciated, and the idea of art dying out genuinely scares him to death. He doesn’t think a world without art is worth living in. As an extension to this, he loves history. He considered much of it distasteful, but he recognizes it’s importance.

Bonus: Sirrus likes to send extravagant gifts. This is partially due to the fact that he has a very large sum of money and nothing to spend it on. It’s a regular occurrence that you will mention liking something in passing and then end up having it sent to your house out of nowhere. Sirrus did this to V with basically an entire house of furniture, and V is still trying to process it. But this isn’t the only time he’s going to do something like that. Not by a long shot.

Let me know if you have any questions! I love answering them :D And if you have any input, I’ve love to hear that, too!

#dmcocweek #Sirrus #My OC #Devil May Cry OC Week Day 4 #DMC #OC #Devil May Cry #My Devil May Cry OC #My Post Devil May Cry 5 OC #Fic

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hedwigstalons · 4 years

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High Expectations - ch2

Ok, I’m already regretting setting myself the art challenge. It’s hard. Huge kudos to all you artists out there. Still, the clue for me should have been in the word ‘challenge’. No, I don’t know why Alan’s hand is a different colour to the rest of him and shading features is pretty much impossible. Maybe by the end of the fic I’ll have got the hang of it. I might have to pick and easier idea for the next chapter

Huge thanks to @willow-salix for all the read throughs and pointers.

Earlier parts: One

Chapter Two

The early light of dawn was just visible around the curtain edges in the lounge. The reflected light off the large screen projection illuminated the figures staring avidly at the screen with a soft blue glow. The occasion had been deemed worthy of setting up the large cinematic screen meaning the whole glittering spectacle filled nearly a whole wall of the generously proportioned room.

Jeff sat back in an aged leather armchair shipped specially from Kansas. The form of it had moulded to his body by the passage of many years although he rarely had time to relax in it now. Across the room Virgil and John, both on vacation from university, book-ended the sofa; a sleek designer affair that manged to combine both style and comfort. Both looked sleepy and a little unfocussed. Virgil had never been a fan of early mornings and it was entirely possible that John hadn’t actually made it to bed yet if he had spent the night engrossed in the stars. His youngest son, still a child and growing into his talents, sat on the floor leaning back against the sofa rather than sitting on the chair itself. In Alan’s hands was a cup of popcorn chosen especially for the cinematic treat. He sat there in rapt awe, barely blinking as he popped piece after piece of white fluff into his mouth. Jeff nursed his own mug of inky black coffee. The aroma of the beans filling the space around him with a rich warmth.

At last the moment they had been waiting for arrived. Team USA marched into shot; processing around a stadium half a world and many time zones away. Ranks of the chosen few strode across the screen in all their athletic glory. The athletes were bedecked in pristine white trousers and shirts topped with navy blue blazers. Red trim to the lapels completed the patriotic ensemble. The young men and women chosen to represent their country trailed behind the flag bearer, their lines arranged with military precision. Jeff rather thought the effect was spoiled by the individuals walking out of step with each other and waving to the crowd in the surrounding stadium. It jarred with his Air Force history which much preferred the uniformity of troops marching smartly in time.

A squeal broke through his internal criticism of the scene.

“There he is! There he is!”

Alan’s voice, still high pitched in its youth, filled the space with an exuberant joy. The cup of popcorn was tilting dangerously towards the floor as the youngest of five spotted his next in line.

The fourth Tracy son crossed the screen and disappeared out of sight in a matter of seconds and Jeff was forced to pause, rewind and replay the footage several times before Alan had got his fill of the sight.

Gordon looked happy. Happier than he had done for weeks. Happy didn’t do justice to the beaming, grinning individual with sandy blonde hair slightly tinted by chlorine who strode between his fellow countrymen and women. He seemed to bounce along, riding the waves of the atmosphere that swirled around the stadium.

Jeff had seen little of his second youngest son lately despite technically living in the same house. Both had demanding schedules; one filled with work and business meetings, the other filled with school and pool training. The moment school had finished Gordon had been whisked away to the pre-games training camp, missing both his high school graduation ceremony and the senior prom. The young man on the screen was almost a stranger and definitely an enigma to him.

Jeff’s eldest three sons were of a mind-set he could understand. They were studious, clever, indeed highly gifted in their chosen fields. He had been immensely proud when Scott had been accepted to Yale and then followed him down his own career path into the Air Force. The young man was making quite a name for himself in the service if the regular updates sent through by old colleagues were to be believed; he had already been promoted to First Lieutenant and it looked like he would soon be a Captain. Virgil excelled in engineering but also retained a quiet compassion that allowed him to see the world as more than just a set of variables and constants to be manipulated. John had followed him to the stars and Jeff had no doubt that his quietest son could follow him out of Earth’s atmosphere and beyond just a theoretical study of space travel if he so desired.

Gordon was evidently gifted too but in a direction he couldn’t quite comprehend. Physical ability was a facet he appreciated and even John had submitted to his requirement for regular structured exercise. But a strong body needed to be a vessel for a keen mind and Gordon just hadn’t shown any particular leanings towards an academic field.

He was as proud as any father could be that a son of his had reached the Olympics and at such a young age but he still worried for his son’s future prospects.

A sigh from the floor broke through his contemplations.

“I wish we could have been there for the opening ceremony.”

“Now Alan, we’ve been through this. Gordon’s heats don’t start for another week. I’ve got us tickets to his events and we will be there to see him compete in person but I just cannot spare the time to take you out there for the whole duration of the Games.”

“But Virgil could have taken me. Or John.” The voice was a petulant whine now.

“Virgil and John might be on summer break but they both still have work to do. The last thing either of them need is to be responsible for you at the biggest international sporting event in the world. Watching sport has never been your thing before. It’s normally hard enough to prise you away from those video games you play.”

Both Virgil and John looked infinitely relieved that neither of them was expected to be responsible for an excitable young teenager in a foreign country. It was bad enough taking him bowling or to the cinema. Alan seemed to be well and truly gripped by Olympic fever, hence them all watching the live coverage of the opening ceremony at some hideous time of the morning rather than watching a recording at a more socially acceptable hour. It seemed to mean so much to their youngest brother to get the chance to watch out for Gordon live that they hadn’t had the heart to refuse. It was just as well Gordon had had his few seconds of glory on screen otherwise Alan would have been beyond devastated not to have seen him.

“But it’s the Olympics. And it’s Gordon.” As if this explained everything.

“And you will get to see Gordon compete in every race he is in when we fly out next week. Even Scott has managed to arrange some leave so he can join us. Gordon will be well supported.”

Alan huffed slightly in response but went back to staring at the screen, the popcorn once again being shovelled in as figures from all nations strode across in a seemingly never ending stream of competitors.

Once it became clear that Team USA would not be making another appearance Virgil and John sloped off. Virgil to reclaim his bed, John to find his for the first time that sleep cycle having reverted to a near nocturnal pattern without classes to drag him away from his beloved stars. Both had willingly joined the spectators in the lounge but the time difference left a lot to be desired and both were exhausted after a long and difficult semester. Jeff followed after but for him the destination was to work rather than bed. Alan was soon left to watch the conclusion of the carefully choreographed spectacle alone.

xoxoxox

Virgil padded towards the kitchen, he socks making no sound on the hardwood floor. He could almost forget that there was anyone else in the apartment. He had barely seen his brothers all day and Jeff was still at the office. John had spent much of the day sleeping after grumbling that the city skies really hadn’t been worth staying up for. He assumed Alan was engrossing in another gaming session. Part of him wondered if he ought to have a word with their dad; his youngest brother seemed to spend an unhealthy amount of time hooked up to a console.

He paused at Alan’s door, taking a moment to take in the view through the crack. Rather than being strapped into a VR headset as expected, Alan was instead sprawled on his bed. A screen was propped up on his knees. The murmured one sided conversation suggested a video call rather than another game. He wasn’t normally one to eavesdrop but curiosity overcame Virgil as he wondered who on earth Alan could be talking to. He didn’t talk about any particular school friends and beyond Grandma they had no family to speak of. He stayed to one side of the doorway out of sight and listened. If he stood absolutely still he could just about pick up the other voice on the line.

“The stadium looked huge. What was it like? Did you get some photos for me?”

“Yeah, it’s massive. Kinda makes be glad I’m not in the track and field events. No photos though, we couldn’t take cameras in to the opening ceremony. We didn’t even get to see the show afterwards, just lots of waiting around to go in then straight back to the Village after. You probably saw more than I did.”

Gordon then. He figured it must already be the next morning for their absent athlete.

“Aww. We saw you, y’know. Who was the cute blonde you were next to?”

Virgil smirked. For all he might bounce like an excited puppy Alan was evidently growing up and the hormones were kicking up.

“Which one? Amber the high jumper or Brad the hockey player?”

“Amber, I’ll leave Brad to you. Think you can introduce me when we’re over there?”

“No chance. Firstly, she already has a long term boyfriend. And secondly, you’re about five years too young for that sort of stuff.”

“Hey, I’m not that young. Not that you’d think it the way things go round here. There’s something going on and Dad won’t tell me about it. Since John and Virgil got back Dad keeps having meetings with them in the study.”

“Rather them than me. You know as well as I do the study only means bad news.”

“I don’t think so. And since when has John ever been chewed out over anything. It’s not like he ever missed curfew or turned in a bad report card. I don’t know what’s going on but this place is full of secrets. They all just treat me as a kid though, like I wouldn’t understand.”

“Try not to worry about it Al. Why don’t you get John to help you finish that sim you were coding?”

“Maybe. He just seems so busy though.”

“Look, I’ve got to go, I’ve got training soon. I’ll try and call same time tomorrow if that works for you.”

“Sure.”

“Don’t forget to eat your vegetables and clean your teeth.”

“Yes Mom. Now don’t you need to go put some water wings on.”

“Cheeky brat. Speak to you tomorrow. Bye.”

“Bye Gordo.”

Virgil watched as the screen was put to one side, the smile sliding off of Alan’s face, before continued his journey to the kitchen to grab a drink. That brief conversation with Gordon was more words than he had heard out of his youngest sibling in one go since he had arrived back home. He had put it down to sullen teenage moods but evidently Alan could be quite chatty when he wanted to.

Alan was clearly missing Gordon. The youngest two had always been close. Despite Gordon technically being closer in age to John than Alan the sibling friendship pairings hadn’t worked out that way. Virgil realised how little he knew about the youngest pair beyond Gordon’s swimming. Since when had Alan been able to code simulations? And what sort of simulations?

He shrugged it off as a conundrum for another day. They would be flying out to the Olympics in just a few days and he wanted to get a project plan sent off to his supervisor before that happened. The meetings with Jeff, which Alan had evidently picked up on, had changed the direction of his post-grad project and he wanted to get the revisions in before travelling. Bonding time could happen once the work was completed.

#thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #high expectations #my art #Olympics #Gordon Tracy #Jeff Tracy

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ice-connoisseur · 4 years

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ten faves

Rules: name ten favorite characters from ten different things (tv, movies, books, etc.)

This came from @thegirlwholied nearly...3 weeks...ago now, but I am slow, and indecisive, and time basically has no meaning at the moment anyway, so.

1. Sally Lockhart (the Sally Lockhart quartet)

First name I wrote down. I met Sally in my early teens and I’ve never quite given up on wanting to grow up to be her. I love each and every member of Garland and Lockhart a ridiculous amount (and my love of the found family trope can probably be traced back to their door), but Sally, with her grit and her stubbornness and her fierce indepenance, captured me in something special from that moment in the first paragraph of the first book when all I knew was her name and that she was about to kill a man.

2. Elizabeth Bennet (Pride and Prejudice)

I considered shying away from the stereotypical here, but that would just be lying to myself as well as anyone else. I relate more to Jane, or Charlotte Lucas, or even Mr Darcy – at least in terms of social awkwardness, not finances, sadly – but, like him, I can’t remember the first time I fell in love with Lizzy Bennet, I was in the middle of it before I even knew I had begun.

(Jennifer Ehle probably had something to do with it though.)

3. Hermione Granger (Harry Potter)

Look, I was an introverted, bookish, rule-abiding adolescent, and Hermione was suddenly someone I could recognise myself in. I wanted to be Ginny (and Sally, and Lizzy, and several others on this list); I already was Hermione, in a lot of ways, and she made that a bit more ok.

4. Carrot Ironfoundersson (Discworld)

I wanted to put a Discworld character in here, and I’m a little bit sad at myself for not picking a woman – especially since this is inadvertently turning out to be a very female-heavy list. I even started the process of trying to choose between Sybil Ramkin, Tiffany Aching, Adora Belle Dearheart, and Angua, to name but a few.

But the thing is, I made the fatel error of first trying to read the Discworld in publication order, and it took me years to venture any further than the first 50 pages of Colour of Magic. Even in later books the Wizards just. Aren’t my thing.

And then, at some point – and I’m a bit hazy on the when, to be honest – I picked up Guards Guards and spent the entire book blinking at Carrot, reading and re-reading; I kept wanting to turn to someone else and nudge and point, because is this guy for real?! And then, again, a page later, for completely different reasons and in completely different tones, is this guy for real AGAIN?! Terry Pratchett’s books are richly populated with wonderfully rounded, flawed, individual characters, and at first glance Carrot is comparatively straightforward. I hope I never lose that quiet moment of glee I feel at realising that, of course, he really, really isn’t.

5. Titty Walker (Swallows and Amazons)

Consider Titty a bit of a catch-all for the tomboy girls who filled my childhood reading – George Kirrin, Maia Fielding, Kit Russell and the rest – but she’s the one I thought of first. I was not an adventurous child - I am not an adventurous adult, for that matter – but these were the books that meant I could be. I think Titty’s adventures always felt the most tangible, somehow, and the image of her tacking up the field home to read her father’s telegram cemented something in me at an impressionable age that I don’t think I’ve ever quite shaken off.

6. Leslie Knope (Parks and Recreation)

Again, I love each and every character on this show, but Leslie Knope; annoying, overbearing, forthright Leslie Knope, who cares so damn much about everything that she makes everyone else care more too, who never once considers being anyone other than who she is, who makes mistakes and faces up to fixing them, who will always, always use a favour to help other people…Leslie Knope, folks. I love her and I like her.

7. Rose Tyler (Doctor Who)

It’s a pretty close call between Rose and Donna Noble, to be honest, but Rose got there first. Unapologetically, unashamedly working class Rose, from the council estate, with no A-levels and no prospects and no expectations that anyone will ever give a damn about her, who saves the world in so many different ways, who grows up and laughs and loves and changes but never in the fundamentals of who she is – brilliant, compassionate, brave. Her life is fantastic because she marches through it punching literal holes in the universe to make it so.

8. Lyra Silvertongue (His Dark Materials)

Lyra, who loved her world of Oxford rooftops, and ran from it. Lyra who loved Roger, and killed him. Lyra who loved Pan, and left him. Lyra who loved Will, and lost him. Lyra who lies. Lyra who left home and came back different, and that was only just the start of her growing up. I’ve been reading Lyra for 20 years and I read her a little bit different every time, but I never love her any less.

9. Phil Coulson (Marvel Cinematic Universe)

I’m probably stretching things a bit here, because when I say I love Phil Coulson, I’m referring to Phil Coulson of the MCU up to and including 2012, and the subsequent fanon interpretations of him. I tried Agents of Shield early on and it didn’t stick. But I saw Avengers Assemble in the cinema with no prior Marvel knowledge (comic or film) and spent the next three days watching the rest of Phase One (hilariously, at the time, five films felt like a lot). I was in my very early days on Tumblr when #Coulsonlives was a thing, and I still remember the absolute explosion of joy that was. Every now and again (like right now, actually) I go through a phase of re-reading an unhealthy volume of Clint/Coulson fic – and I do love Clint, and I love Gamora, I love Sam Wilson and Natasha Romanoff and Pepper Potts - and it’s dry, snarky, utterly unflappable who Coulson hooks me every time.

10. Georgiana Lestrade (The Least of All Possible Mistakes)

Look, I have a lot of feelings about every person on this list and quite a few who aren’t, but if I had to pick the one who felt the most…real, I suppose…then Georgiana Lestrade is my easy answer. She’s the person I would always want fighting my corner. George has no false ideals, no delusions about either herself or her world; she is completely grounded in herself and her London – which is almost a character in its own right, one of my very favourite things about Pru’s writing.

Competent, practical, fiercely unphased George, who carries a taser and throws stationary at her underlings; who is gloriously, unashamedly pragmatic; nearing forty and glad of it; as honest and self-aware of her own nature as I think a person can be; and above all else who is damn good at her job. She might give one hoot about what other people think of her, but she’s certainly not going to waste a second. That she is surrounded by wild, dangerously intelligent men is almost incidental, but she is, and that is a part of her story – though far from the whole of it - and she takes no more shit from them, never doubts her own right or ability to stand beside them, than she does any other person.

One of the saddest truths of my fandom life is that Pru will never finish the Regency spy AU of this AU, and I mourn this far more often than is healthy XD

***

This was fun and hard in equal measure, and there are so many more I could have listed - Jack Robinson, Violet Baudelaire, Brienne of Tarth, Leia Organa, Theo Hart, to name but a few - but I’m as happy with it as I’ll ever be.

Tagging @firesign23, @kiraziwrites, @angel-deux-writes and @ajoblotofjunk, and also anyone else who wants to give this a go, because I would love to read more of them.

#turned out I had a LOT of feelings about this #good meta is good #ask memes

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mrsmiresa · 4 years

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I just devoured Matched in 2 days! It was amazing! So well written and you executed the plot refectory. The angst and slow burn (I know it’s not slow when read in two days but still) felt so realistic but also had the the tropes everyone loves. I love all the little descriptions of his body language when he’s connecting the dots. Even when he’s trying hard to disprove it. I love how she found out with the drink. Your mind!! (1)

I wish this was a film! I need to know more! Where are they? Does he become a literacy hero? Did she get her dream job? Do they travel to all the places she imagined? Do they spend weeks just wrapped up in each other? I haven’t stopped wondering about them all day. This story is going to stick with me. You’re writing is amazing, thank you for sharing!! (2)

One more thing lol. I loved how yes it was enemies to lovers but he was always respectful to her. Rude sure but so was she. There’s so many fics where I’m like eww he’s genuinely not a nice person and it’s just so unhealthy. I never stopped rooting for them as characters and to be a couple Lol. Hope your Wednesday is great!

<3 <3 <3 you’ve totally made my Wednesday! Thank you so much for this message (: I still love getting comments about my old fic (who doesn’t?!) and really appreciate those of you that not only read but take the time to share your thoughts with me.

The “Kenzie/Eyre drink” is one of my favorites too :P

Ok here’s the answers to some of your questions (the one’s I’ve considered before, at least). I’ve answered other questions like this in the past, too.... Harry does decline his “wallstreet” job for the literacy internship. He has success with that but what he really wants to do is break into the music industry; he has lots of little music gigs lined up at bars, thanks to his Shoots manager’s connections! Kenzie, meanwhile, isn’t able to find a job in set design post graduation, so she works as a waitress (much to her mother’s dismay!) at one of those themed diners that makes you wear rollerskates. In her freetime she volunteers at a local community theater hoping to get her foot in the door, but it’s difficult. Kenzie struggles with how easy success comes to Harry (his wild popularity has always been infuriating to her!), especially since everything seems difficult to her. She really internalizes this idea that she’s a failure and it def is one of the first real challenges that their relationship faces! Lastly, since its been asked before... Kenzie moves in with Louis after graduation, and Harry still lives with Liam. But what with how much time each respective couple spends with each other, you’d hardly know :P

And finally, I’m glad you thought there was a certain amount of tension but that, at the end of the day, the characters were still redeemable and their connection made sense. That means a lot! <3

* KISSES TO YOU! *

#matched #m ask

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not-a-space-alien · 5 years

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hey its me again wall of text sorry not sorry

k i saw your little treatise justifying zadr and yknow its a cartoon its not the worst thing ever of course nobody is gonna sue you for reblogging fanart or burn you at the stake or w/e and im glad you decided to open yourself up to a differing opinion but zim IS portrayed as an adult. there was even an unfinished episode where zim’s childhood and growing up training from start to finish would be shown so by the time of the pilot he is definitely a full grown developed adult by irken standards especially if hes a former member of an elite military force like the invaders. jhonen has said that the irony and sad comedy of zims character is that hes a grown ass man and a war veteran to boot who VOLUNTARILY goes to an elementary school every day and throws hands with an 11 year old boy who should be well below his notice because he’s that pathetic and desperate for validation that he’ll stoop to seeking it from a child. it also sets up a dynamic between them where dib is CHALLENGED by having to go up against an adult with way more experience than him while dib is just a child, so when he wins its more meaningful, which is a common trope in childrens fiction that an underdog young hero has to take down a powerful adult villain.

jhonen might joke a lot but he’s serious about this part of the characterization of zim and dib and he even went to great lengths to make dib look and act more like a kid in ETF (more emotional and naive, designed to look smaller/softer, going in depth with his relationship to his dad and sister and needing his dad to protect him at the end when he’s too overrun to fight alone) just to drive home the point of how young he is. it was a very deliberate move and jhonen knows what hes doing ESPECIALLY since he also left zim pretty much unchanged and also includes gags about zim’s relative maturity like animating him briefly grimacing because his joints are sore and the part where he pretty much gestures to his crotch and goes “theyre afraid to look at ALL-A THIS”. like you would not see jhonen do that sort of joke with an underage character ok. dont confuse his social awkwardness and self deprecating/trolling humor for not knowing the difference between right and wrong and not acknowledge when he means something sincerely because he doesn’t just clown on people and troll ALL THE TIME 24/7 hes a human, and times have changed with more awareness on issues such as the grooming of minors so he can go back on things he may have said in the past that he doesn’t agree with now or said by mistake. he has said enough times that zim is older than any human alive that its safe to take his word for it by now. judging by the one strip he did in JTHM about johnny murdering a pedophile who was about to prey on squee i think his stance on protecting kids is pretty clear. also i wouldnt put it past jhonen to have redesigned membrane to be more chaddy looking to divert the adult fandom’s attention away from dib and throw the fangirls a bone but thats a whole nother can of worms lol.

and the justification that zim is immature so hes essentially on dib’s level is a reversal of something lots of kids hear from either creepy or ignorant adults who tell them theyre “so mature for their age”. no matter how emotionally mature you are it wont ever compensate for the number of years youve been alive so that’s not very sound logic, and even in fic where theyre both adults it’s still pretty weird because it doesn’t erase their history where zim knew dib as a kid. that’s sort of like a grownup waiting with bated breath until a kid is “legal” so they can start dating. kinda like when jacob imprints on bella’s newborn daughter in twilight then having it handwaved away by saying he’ll wait till she’s grown up, which understandably drew a huge amount of criticism. it’s a loophole that might be mildly acceptable in some cases but the context leaves it colored with a residual ickiness that sets off some red flags for me and a lot of other people.

also you said zim is an alien and therefore the situation itself is unrealistic, but the reason invader zim’s writing resonates with people is because zim is written with very HUMAN emotions and motivations and part of the humor again is how irkens despite being aliens from another planet mirror some of humanity’s worst flaws such as being petty, gluttonous, willfully ignorant, arrogantly believing they are special and better than everyone else, easily manipulated by propaganda, all too eager to greedily colonize other societies etc making them not so different from us at all. so the premise out of context might not seem realistic but the idea of a sad burnout adult who doesn’t realize how humiliating it is to be consistently outsmarted by a kid less than half their age IS realistic and applicable to human interaction since we’ve likely all met someone like this before at one point in our lives for example a schoolteacher who has a personal vendetta against one or more of their students and has nothing better to do than antagonize them, or a really dumb parent that you fight with a lot.

another thing, i know you and other fans probably have a lot of sentimental value and nostalgia attached to zadr because you probably shipped it back when you were a kid yourself and you cant be blamed for something you liked as a kid, but youre an adult now, and you have to listen to the portion of kids in the fandom who dont like zadr and say without question that the age gap makes them uncomfortable. those kids ARE the priority. we’re grown up now and we have to put our feelings aside for them because that’s part of being responsible and mature. i feel like zim himself is a pretty good example of how not to act at our age [shrug emoji]

and anyway a lot of the same elements of zadr can be explored with zadf just as well with just as much potential for cute moments and as a bonus is it’s not creepy

You do bring up some good points, and I’m not saying you’re wrong... But honestly I’m still not convinced. I mean, stuff that Jhonen said, the thing is even if it’s the author saying it it’s still outside of canon, that’s the reason why Neil Gaiman got flack for Good Omens because they didn’t write an actual kiss or hug or hand-hold between Aziraphale and Crowley yet Neil Gaiman went on Twitter saying they were queer representation. I still don’t really put much stock into what he says because the unfinished episodes and Jhonen’s commentary don’t really change the dynamic that’s actually in the show. And again...Jhonen said if there were going to be romance in the show it would be Zim/Gaz, so he’s either a huge hypocrite or doesn’t view Zim as being incompatible with Gaz.

I do think it’s much better when Dib is an adult and it just makes more sense, and I actually do prefer zadf to zadr and if i were going to ever write fanfiction or make fanart it would probably just be zadf, just because i know this does have some stuff to think about and I totally respect that you have a different view of it, but i honestly just don’t see it that way. The analogy with Jacob imprinting on Bella’s child in Twilight isn’t really the same thing honestly. The author in that situation tried to make it not......that....by saying that imprinting isn’t always a romantic relationship thing, and that Jacob would be more of an older brother, but honestly that doesn’t really negate the impact of grooming that kid would have with Jacob around. The idea that Zim would somehow be grooming Dib seems really silly to me although you’re right, I think his characterization in Into the Florpus has evolved somewhat especially with regard to Dib wanting to get his father’s approval, but again Zim has parallels with that in trying to please the Tallest. the world-building and characterizations are inconsistent and scattershot at best. Like no, zim isn’t waiting for him to turn legal, that’s absurd, they’re nemeses coming at each other then learning to be friends. You’re right that that doesn’t have to be zadr but I still tag it as zadr so people can block it if they want to.

Like, I’ve seen people ship Zim with Professor Membrane instead of Dib. That seems very weird to me. that professor membrane would have a relationship with someone who literally goes to his son’s elementary school and who doesn’t know anything at all about human behavior and emotions.

I feel like with this discussion people don’t really understand the problem with age gaps. With age gaps, it’s not a matter of mature/immature, it’s about development. A ten year age gap sounds like a lot right? a 25-year-old and a 15-year old would absolutely have a predatory “relationship.” But a 35- and a 45-year old, that’s perfectly fine. Having a difference in age doesn’t automatically make the relationship unhealthy. so if Dib is 25 and Zim is [whatever the hell aliens years i still don’t really take Jhonen’s word for it bc he’s not consistent], that’s doesn’t mean it has to be bad. The thing about telling minors they’re “so mature for their age” to try and convince them that a person interested in them isn’t a pedophile is that we know a human being who is 15 isn’t developmentally at the same level as a 25-year-old regardless of their behavior. What is Zim? All we have to go on is how he acts, and he acts like Dib is an equal match, it’s not “he’s immature for his age,” it’s very unclear. Raw number of years isn’t the ultimate decider, for example in DnD lore elves reach maturity at, like, 100 years old so a 25-yo human trying to get with a 50-year-old elf would be predatory to the young elf even though the “younger” one is technically twice as old as the human. Do you see what I’m saying?

I also don’t really buy the idea that Invader Zim’s writing resonates with people because Zim is ~~so human~~. The guy steals a bunch of kid’s organs in one episode and flies into a tantrum over the slightest inconvenience. You have to be reading really deeply into it and dig into some old internet archives of things Jhonen Vasquez has said to paint it as realistic. You can do some interesting things with it wrt like, Zim being defective and starting to experience human emotions but that’s mostly fanon.

Well, you’ve given me some things to think about, thanks for explaining your side to me. I’m still going to tag things as #zadr so people can block if it can’t plausibly be categorized as zadf. I’m not actually making any fan content for Invader Zim so the point is kind of moot, but if I ever do I’ll definitely take this into consideration.

#invader zim #zadr #submission

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chnsfairy · 6 years

Text

even a shadow needs light to exist | bang chan

words ; 7,870

genre ; angst, and just kinda sad sorry

warnings ; language, um sad

a/n ; look this is my first long fic and i worked hard on it, i get its not the best out there and stuff but im kinda proud of it so thanks for reading if you do and sorry in advance,,, also hopefully this will show up in the tags this time yay

It’s like a memory.

Yet, it’s something completely different, because they don’t exist anymore, he doesn’t exist anymore, and the universe seems to want to torture you with that fact. The world’s funny like that isn’t it.

You catch glimpses of him periodically; sometimes as you pass by his studio, untouched as you’re too scared to set foot in it again, where you sometimes see him working at his computer. Always creating music he was, music in which the world will never be able to hear, music that once graced your ears and lulled you sleep throughout the painful nights. However, since then, you couldn’t bring yourself to listen to it nor anything else he’s made. It’s still too raw. Still too painful, the wound still fresh in your mind and in your heart.

But it’s not his fault, it’s not his fault the universe bestowed this ‘gift’ upon you. One that ends up causing so much pain on a daily basis. One where you could be simply eating breakfast or watching television, the times where you were almost at peace with the world, and seconds later he would walk out of what used to be your shared bedroom; curly hair atop his beautiful bare face and adorable dimples that made you want to cry at the sight of them and at the sight of him. Different memories would flood through your mind, you would remember his scent and his warmth when you would wake up in the mornings. How he would cling onto you with his arms until you would force him to get out of bed, and as soon as you found your way to the kitchen he would always return to his position by resting his chin on your shoulder as he wrapped his arms around your stomach. You would remember the late night kisses always full of love and compassion as you sat with him listening to music, talking about everything you could think of and sometimes nothing. You would just sit with each other and enjoy the company, the presence of one another was enough for you.

Sometimes you would cry, and sometimes you would squeeze your eyes shut in hope he’ll be gone by the time you open your eyes. He’s not there. That’s not him. It’s a curse you often think, but maybe it’s a blessing, or maybe it’s some cruel trick the universe wanted to play on you.

You thought you would’ve been used to it at this point, this occurring many times in the past and especially during your younger years. Nightmares. Your parents would classify them as.

Your head is playing tricks on you.

You just imagined it.

Scary daydreams, don’t worry.

Sure, maybe it was, but the seconds and blips you continue to see of people who shouldn’t be able to walk the earth anymore on a daily basis only made you worry and more anxious as time went by. Friends were starting to feel concerned as you jumped at the smallest things and freaked out about, well, nothing. It was impossible for them to see. How do you tell a person these things? How do you make them believe you? Truth is: you can’t. So, you don’t. You haven’t, and you suffer on your own.

So here you are, sitting in the corner of a small cafe, eating a warm muffin as you attempt to focus on your work. Trying to keep your mind busy, trying to think of anything but him and the others you see around. But it’s hard as the bustle of the small shop continues to drag your mind to different places, allowing your eyes to skim off your laptop and across the sea of strangers. Although, some really aren’t strangers at this point. You’ve been visiting the coffee shop more than you ever have in the past, it’s become an escape from your apartment and nowadays you feel it’s better to be anywhere but there. Sure, it can be loud, especially in the mornings where the rushing college students and workers attempt to wake themselves up from the dead feeling of sleep. Yet that loudness is almost soothing, it’s nice to see people being able to get up in the morning with a purpose and goal. You, unfortunately, lost that some time ago; and sometimes you envy those who haven’t.

As the days go by, you’ve continuously recognized these strangers that aren’t, exactly, strangers anymore. For example, there’s always this small group of teenagers that pour into the shop on Fridays, they laugh and talk the day away until one of them has to leave; causing a chain reaction after that as they head home. There’s also a couple that sometimes comes in around lunchtime, they usually order the same thing before leaving after a couple hours. You’ve noticed things over the past couple weeks that probably only a barista who works here would notice, you’ve seen the different groups and types of people come in and out of the cafe. Day in and day out, people have routines, people have lives, and you’ve come to recognize more and more of them. There are then the ones who, well, shouldn’t be here. At least you shouldn’t be able to see them. The small blips they have as they fracture in and out of existence in front of your eyes and your eyes alone. One being an elderly lady with her silver hair up in a tight bun, wearing a floral patterned dress and sandals, sometimes you see her walking her dog down the street and other times she’s sitting peacefully by the window staring off into space. Those are some of the less painful ones, other times you catch a glance of this little boy, no older than five, in a school uniform sitting on a bench outside. He always looks like he’s waiting for something, someone, and unfortunately that person probably never ended up arriving.

Throughout all that time you’ve also grown accustomed to the barista that always seems to be working when you arrive. “Han Jisung”, you read aloud his name tag during your first visit.

“Yep! And your name…?” He had asked motioning to the pen and cup he held in his hand.

“Oh um, it’s y/n,” The lack of social contact you’ve had over the past couple weeks, as well as the just excruciating pain you’ve got through, has lowered some built up confidence and self-esteem. “Sorry” you had then muttered as you fumbled through your mess of a bag, takeout receipts littering the bottom as well as an almost empty chapstick tube and a couple coins. You pulled out your wallet before handing over the amount due to the man in front of you, who gave you a bright smile as he handed you your change. On a cloudy day, one might mistake him for the sun if it wasn’t for his work attire, his fluffy grey-slightly blonde hair and plump cheeks just made him shine even more compared to everyone else in the shop.

Since that time he’s almost always working the register when you arrive at the cafe, smiling and talking with customers, cracking jokes here and there; just being a delight. It wouldn’t be completely wrong to say that at this point in your life you were the complete opposite of him, as you’ve attempted to hide from the world for the time being. Having as little social interactions as possible, the only ones being with the delivery man and well, Jisung. You weren’t expecting nor planning to make a friend anytime soon but I guess the stars aligned and it was just a perfect moment for not only you but him as well.

Jisung was in his third year of college, where he was studying to get his degree in music. He’s always been in love with the beautiful sounds people call music that he’s heard since he was a child, so when he got older he started creating himself. Jisung wanted to show the world his music and meaningful lyrics to anyone he could, he would find himself lost in his computer late at night not bothering to watch the clock tick past three am. Nowadays though, he never seems to be anywhere but class, the cafe where he works or locked up in his dorm/studio working on something. He’s rarely out anymore and his friends often go weeks without seeing him, and at this point, they’ve deemed this type of lifestyle completely unhealthy. They’ve tried to get him out of this funk he’s in, inviting him to parties and movies, but nothing seems to work anymore. So at some point, they just kinda stopped, but that’s ok; Jisung rathers it to be this way.

Neither of you are exactly sure when this weird friendship started if that’s even a way to classify it, as he just feeds you coffee and sweets and you simply keep him company when things get slow. Maybe it started the first day you stopped by when you made some witty remark and had Jisung laughing for a good five minutes, or maybe it was when he decided to stop by your table to ask what you were doing.

“Trying not to focus on too many things,” you said before turning back to your laptop and murmuring “or people.”

“Well that’s probably hard in a noisy place like this,” Jisung replied, it had been just two weeks of your visiting this small cafe that he worked at and you always piqued his interest. You always looked on edge, as if you were avoiding something, possibly someone; and it never seemed like you had anywhere else to go. It was like you were always here, were you hiding from something? He constantly asked himself these questions as the days went by and you continued to sit in your little corner of the world. Sure he’s had regular customers before but that was different, they’d come in, order and then head off to school or work. The regular evening crowd would be mainly college students trying to get homework done somewhere other than their dorm. But you, you never left, well that might be exaggerating it a bit but you really were constantly there. Not that he didn’t mind, it just…worried him a little. So that’s why one day two weeks after your first showing he decided to make conversation, not only did it seem like you needed it but he did too.

“Want some company?” He asked, slowly sliding into the seat across from you, your gaze never left his face as you sat there puzzled, you were just kind of confused about this whole situation. Doesn’t mean sitting in a corner mean you want to hide from everyone? Doesn’t it just shout ‘go away’? Clearly not anymore, and this man is proving that to you more and more every day.

“Um, aren’t you supposed to be working?” You asked carefully, you found yourself irritated and slightly intimidated by this sunshine in front of you. It’s been a while since you’ve made any decent conversation but you guess it’s better than thinking about him, or continuously staring at what seems like nothing to the naked eye.

“I’m on a break right now,” Jisung stated a matter of factly before checking his watch, “and I’ve got five minutes.”

“And you came over here because…?” You asked him, still confused but distracted from most things nonetheless so it wasn’t a total loss talking to him.

“Because you seem like you need a friend, and… well, I wanted to ask why you’re always here,” he looked up to see your face in a slight frown before shaking his head to rephrase his previous statement. “N-not that it’s a bad thing! It’s just unusual you know? I’ve come to recognize people who come and go a lot but no one just stays here throughout most of the day so I’m wondering if you’re ok…?”

“And what place are you in to be asking me that?” You argued, not feeling in the mood to talk with somebody, a complete stranger nonetheless, about your problems. “Well, clearly I’m in no position to tell you really anything but you seem like you’re not doing to well, and we’ve all been there.”

“Not here you haven’t.” You gritted through your teeth, at this point you just wanted this conversation to be over and done with, you were gaining nothing from it and you didn’t really feel like talking to anyone anyway. Your drink was cold at this point and it would be better to leave. And if someone had really noticed you after all this time maybe it would be best to find another place to spend your time.

“Ok, maybe not…but well-”

“Just what do you want?!” You screamed at him, the sudden outburst caused the few other customers in the cafe to look your way, Jisung gave them a smiled and waved them off in apology before turning back to you. He was unsure of what to say, maybe it was a mistake to come over here; he wasn’t too sure as to why he did it himself.

“I-I, um, w-well-”

You interrupted him before he could finish his thought.

“My best friend, the love of my life, is fucking dead and I’d rather not be at home, it doesn’t even feel like home anymore, ok?” You felt sick to your stomach, it was the first time those words fell out of your mouth, the first time you finally admitted it to yourself, and you felt yourself choke up from all the repressed emotion building up at once, and your eyes started to water slightly.

“It’s fucking torture so why don’t you mind your own business and get back to work, your break should be over right?” You were fuming, and you suddenly felt like running away from the whole world, what was the point without your other half? The person that kept you grounded, the one reason you had to keep living in this horrible world and he’s gone now. There was nothing you could do about it except watch his remains the universe left for you in blips of time, continuously fading in and out of existence. The exact same pain you’ve lived with your entire life but it was never this traumatic, the world is a tease, he’s right there and yet he’s never there at the same time. You’ve never felt the excruciating pain of losing someone so important and so close, and now that you have you don’t even know what to do with yourself.

What Jisung saw day after day as you locked yourself away by plugging your headphones in and typing furiously away at your computer, always just looking dead. There was no other way to describe it, sometimes you ate, sometimes you didn’t but you never looked fully alive. It was like you were only partially there, unbothered by the happenings around you as you sit there being…alive. It didn’t look like, nor did it feel like to you, living anymore; you felt so empty.

He himself knew what that felt like, it may not have been as horrible as the experience you’re going through but at one time or another, he’s known the feeling. So he saw someone in need, someone who needed a friend and maybe, just maybe, he needed one too.

So when saw you quickly shoving everything back in your bag he immediately felt horrible, he had poked around too much where it wasn’t his place to poke, he felt like he had to do something to make it up to you. Or apologize at least, he couldn’t leave feeling this guilty.

“No, please don’t go I’m sorry, you were right. It wasn’t my place to be asking you these questions,” He attempted to stop you but it was too late now, you wanted out of here and you were going to do anything to achieve that. “Um, this may be inappropriate at this point but I’m really sorry for your loss.” Jisung looked up at you as you swung your bag over your shoulder, tears were spilling out of your eyes at this point and he wasn’t exactly sure of what to do. Frantically he grabbed a napkin and awkwardly offered it to you, you ignored his gesture and shoved straight passed him and through the front doors, passed the fading elderly lady and down the block and the boy sitting on the bench. By now, Jisung couldn’t even run after you to apologize, his break was over and he was being motioned over back behind the counter. Full of regret, Jisung walked slowly towards the register and continued with his shift, he was slightly dazed from the previous conversation. It was unexpected, to say the least, he didn’t at all predict what you were going to say to be that dark and serious; and above everything else he was feeling he felt absolutely horrible, he upset you, a stranger nonetheless. You didn’t even know each other but he still felt like he owed you something for putting his nose your business like that, he just hoped that you would come back to give him that chance.

After four painful days locked up in your cold and empty apartment, you finally decided to take another visit to the cafe, in the moment all you had felt was anger but the guilt had been gnawing at your stomach ever since the conversation you had with Jisung. You felt absolutely horrible, you had no right to yell at him for that, he was just being kind. An incredibly kind soul he was, and you felt downright terrible for yelling at him like that. But you were too scared to confront him about it, you were never good with talking to people anyway; he was always there to help you with that stuff. But now, you’ve got no one to offer you support, sometimes, it almost feels like you’ve been abandoned, and you know that’s not the case. You had no control over what happened, and with whatever the universe decided to give you, you may never come to terms with what happened if he always seems to be everywhere. Always appearing and disappearing throughout existence, at your worst it felt like he was haunting you, but without a present state of mind in him, that was clearly not the case.

When Jisung saw you enter the cafe he immediately felt better, it put a smile on his face to see you return. After day two he was worried he scared you away for good, he didn’t want to go throughout his day knowing he’s the reason for your never returning. Similar to you, he felt completely guilty for what he said and wanted to do something to make it up to you. So he quickly stood up from his stool and watched you shyly walk over to the counter, scratching the back of your neck as you contemplated on what to say.

“I should apologi-”

“I’m really sorry!”

Jisung was shocked by your sudden burst, he thought you were just going to completely ignore him and return to your corner once again. Instead, you’re apologizing to him? Before he even got a chance? He’s the one at fault right? He stood there staring at you dumbfounded for a couple seconds, the atmosphere had become awkward as he realized he hadn’t said anything in response. You were worried you did something wrong, maybe you should leave again, he doesn’t care about you - he barely knows you.

“W-why are you apologizing to me? It’s supposed to be the other way around!”

Fumbling around with the smooth leather bracelet around your wrist you slowly looked up at Jisung who had a confused look planted across his face.

“Because well, because you didn’t deserve me being so rude to you, your heart was in the right place, and I...I was just being a dick.”

“I-I, um, sorry I don’t really know what to say now, initially I was going to apologize but it just feels weird now,” Jisung still felt as terrible as ever, here you were, looking almost scared as you stood in front of him; fidgeting with your fingers you stayed silent. “But I’m still sorry, so I hope you can forgive me for being a bit nosy.”

“You know what, fuck this let’s start over,” You said before sticking your hand out, “So my name is y/n, my life is pretty fucked up right now and I’m not in the best place and I choose to be here rather than my apartment, and...yeah...that’s about it.”

Jisung took your hand and gave you a small smile, “Well then it’s nice to properly meet you, let’s hope I don’t mess up this time around, yeah?”

Two weeks ago you would’ve hit yourself for letting another person in your life, in the end, it only causes you pain so what’s the point anymore? You weren’t necessarily planning on making any friends anytime soon, and you would’ve been a burden to them in this state anyway. But then Jisung popped into your life, and he was suddenly a friendly face in a crowd of strangers. Sure, the first interaction between the two of you was a bit off-putting and unexpecting for anything else to happen after that, to say the least. But after a while to two continued to make small conversation as your time spent in the cafe grew longer, and especially as the weather got colder.

The small coffee shop turned into a more welcoming space than your apartment had been in weeks, the familiar smell of espresso beans, spices and pastries became something of a calming scent. The barrier you’ve placed around you breaks apart slowly when you enter, it’s like you feel safer? If that’s even a way to put it. Sometimes though, you feel absolutely horrible thinking all these things, without your other half next to you you’re not sure if it’s right anymore. You’re not sure if you’re ever going to be able to move on from what happened; especially if it, no he, continues to just somehow exist. It’s not fair. Why does the world seem to want to do this to you? Haven’t you gone through enough already?

Pushing your thoughts aside you attempt to focus on the moment now, where you find yourself sitting on a stool behind the counter. You’re not exactly sure how you ended up back here, you guess Jisung convinced you it would be fine and that his boss was pretty laid back so you wouldn’t get in trouble. Although his coworker, Hyunjin, thought otherwise. Hyunjin was usually making the drinks with all the fancy machines behind Jisung, instead of working the register, so the two of you had only exchanged very few words over the past couple weeks. But you had become familiar with blonde, you learned that he was a dance major at the same college Jisung was attending, and that he was surprisingly very clingy to his friend.

“Jisungie~ y/n’s taking you away from meee.” He whined one day, you had been sitting in the back behind the counter reading a book you had brought in that day. Minding your own business and chatting with Jisung about his school work from time to time, and clearly, Hyunjin hadn’t been getting the attention that he wanted.

“Jinnie, we’re friends leave y/n be.” Jisung laughed as Hyunjin clung onto his back, luckily there were no customers that needed to be tended to at the time so the two had some time to goof off.

It was nice to have these lights in your life, until now, it felt like a never-ending black hole. You never seemed to feel at peace with anything anymore and nothing brought you happiness, at least now, a rare smile can be seen forming across your lips. As time went by and the more you grew to know Jisung the more he reminded you of, well, him. His love and adoration for music alone was enough, and sometimes you would catch him writing lyrics in a small notebook during his break, reminding you of the small book of never seen before lyrics lies untouched in your apartment. You had planned on reading through it, but maybe it was still too soon to go do that. So you ended up setting it aside for another time.

The first time Jisung showed you a song he was working on you burst into tears in the middle of the cafe, luckily it was basically empty so you didn’t draw much attention to yourself. You were surprised nonetheless, confused as to why it’s bringing you to tears maybe it reminded you of the past too much. How you would always get demos of new songs before anyone else got a chance to listen to them, you always treasured those moments and it felt weird, almost wrong, spending them with someone else.

“y-y/n, um, what’s wrong? Are you ok? Did I do something?” Jisung had already made you angry once and now that he was the cause of your sudden sadness he wasn’t sure what he should do. Immediately closing his laptop he pulled you towards him and wrapped his arms around you, you just stood there stiffly as tears still pooled out of your eyes.

“Look, I’m sorry about...that...whatever that was, I feel really bad but I hope you know that you can talk to me about things if you want,” Neither of you had moved, your arms stayed frozen and your sides as his squeezed you even tighter. “Look we may not have known each other for very long but you’re really interesting and fun to talk and hang out with. I would love to help you get through whatever is going on in your life, but you can’t keep building all that pent up emotion inside of you, it’s not healthy.”

“You won’t believe me even if I tell you.” You whispered, there’s only one other person who knew about the things you’ve seen, but he’s gone now and there’s no one else to help you go through that anymore. You’ve thought about telling Jisung, out of everyone you’d assume he would understand you the most. Maybe even believe you, unlike your family and old friends you laughed at you when you told them.

“Well, we won’t know that until you explain it, now will we?” Jisung finally let you of you, still standing right in front of you he turned to check the clock. “How about this: after my shift is over I’ll walk you home, you can choose to talk or not to talk, whatever you want. But I’ll listen the entire time and only talk when you’re done, ok?”

Without saying anything you nodded your head and sat back down, pulling out your book once again as Jisung went to go help a customer. Although you were staring at these words on the pages of this book you found yourself not reading them, you continued thinking about what you were going to say to him if you found the confidence in yourself to even explain these things. You lost faith in most of humanity some time ago, and you’ve always had very few friends, but there was only one that completely understood you and believed everything you told him. So it’s been a while since you’ve trusted someone and much as you did him, but Jisungs been nothing but kind to you. So maybe, just maybe, you’ve found someone who won’t go running for the hills when he finds out about these weird things you see daily. You hope at least.

It was already 6:30 before you knew it, night time was creeping over the buildings outside as it engulfed the entire city in darkness. The evening crew was filing in through the back, getting ready to take over the other two’s jobs as they prepared to head home. You stood by the front doors as Jisung grabbed the rest of his stuff from a locker in the very back on the shop, still going over in your head what you should even say to him.

“Ready?” You looked up to see Jisung already holding the door open, motioning you to step out into the cold February air. You nodded your head before walking outside and to the left, it was only a ten-minute walk from here back to your apartment and you didn’t feel like being out in the cold for very long.

The two of you walked side by side for a couple minutes in silence before you finally pulled up the courage to start this dreaded conversation. Still, as anxious as ever, you took a deep breath before you started to speak.

“As you know, um, m-my best friend, my rock, my e-everything,” You already felt tears starting to well up in your eyes, after a couple seconds you felt a warm hand grip onto yours. Looking up, you saw Jisung give you a small smile on encouragement to keep talking, giving your hand a quick squeeze.

“He died.” You’re breath hitched as a single tear fell down your cheek, and you watched as the cold air turned your breath into steam in front of you, still trying your best to remain calm.

“It was painful to find him, you know? Heart attack, they told me after the paramedics came. It was apparently too late to do anything about it at that point too,” a sad smile found itself on your face as you thought back to that day. “You remind me of him a lot, you should know, and maybe that’s why I find myself trusting you.” Jisung nodded his head, staying silent just as he promised.

“Now this next part you’re not going to believe me, I’m telling you that now,” You took another right as you crossed the empty street, only hearing a single car in the distance of this quiet neighborhood you live in.

“Do you believe in the supernatural?” You asked Jisung, looking at him in hopes of some sort of positive response.

“It depends,” he said. “Should I?”

A small chuckle escaped your soon to be frozen lips, shaking your head a little you look up at the night sky.

“You know, nowadays, when I lift my head up I can’t see any stars,” The night was cloudy, and yet the brightness of the moon still shown through it all. “Jisung what do you think happens to the place where a person dies?”

Shrugging his shoulders, Jisung kept walking by your side, hanging onto every word you say.

“All that stuff where people say the final resting place is the grave is just a bunch of bullshit,” At this point, you weren’t shaking anymore and words were falling out of your mouth before you had a chance to stop them or even think. You weren’t sure where this sudden feeling of anger and annoyance came from, maybe you were just finally fed up with the world. “And I know, cause I’ve seen it with my own eyes. Everybody who’s died stays there, repeating things over and over again as they continuously fade throughout time and existence. They don’t leave no matter how much I hate it and I can’t communicate with them no matter how much I want to. My apartment is torturous now! He’s always there, with his stupid perfect face and stupid smile! And I can’t do shit about it!” You were yelling now, waving your hands about as fought the incoming tears that threatened to spill down your face.

“Hey, hey y/n, shhh calm down,” Jisung whispered as he held your arms down at your sides so you wouldn’t accidentally wack him in the face, your cheeks were now red from yelling and possibly from the cold. “Why don’t we get you home, yeah?”

“You don’t believe me.” You froze in your spot, you knew it, it was a stupid idea to tell him. You shouldn’t be able to trust anybody anymore.

“Now that’s not true at all, surprisingly, I do. But I feel like you should get home and eat something.” Jisung started guiding you down the street, slowly you nodded your head as you started to walk with him in silence.

“I’m never at peace anymore you know,” Your voice was so faint, any quieter and Jisung wouldn’t have been able to hear it. “It’s like I’m hiding from something that doesn’t exist.” Turning on his heel Jisung stood directly in front of you, he held onto your shoulders causing you to stop moving as you looked up at him.

“What?” You asked, slightly irritated.

“Visit his grave,” You looked at him with such a confused and pain filled look on your face. “Maybe going there will help you come to terms with what happened, ever thought of that?” You stared at your feet, slightly embarrassed and a bit annoyed. Of course you thought of going, why wouldn’t you? But he’s right, you never went. Because you didn’t want to face the truth quite yet, and if it weren’t for Jisung you might never have. You stayed silent and walked passed him, unsure of what to say you headed straight for the door of your apartment complex. But before you could get inside Jisung grabbed your arm and turned you around.

“What if I go with you?” He asked, hoping for a response but you instead stayed quiet, staring at your feet as you stood in the cold air. “Tomorrow I have off, I’ll be here to pick you up around ten-ish, ok?”

“Why are you doing this?” Jisung gave you a quick smile before taking a couple steps back down the street.

“Because I know that you deserve to be happier than you are now,” You almost ran after him but fought against it. “And I wanna do everything in my power to make that happen! Goodnight y/n!” Jisung then took off across the street and out of your sight, stunned, you stood outside in the cold for a couple more seconds. Replaying the previous conversation in your head. It was one of the first times that someone didn’t freak out or run away immediately when you told them about these people you still saw, and you were incredibly grateful for that.

Unlocking the door to your apartment you were welcomed by the familiar smell of him, and the always eerie silence without him there to engulf you in a hug for your return home. Luckily he was nowhere to be seen at this time so you walked over to your half empty fridge and opened it, there wasn’t much inside as you expected. Closing it and walking over to a cupboard you grabbed the last bag of chips you had and found yourself sitting on the couch staring out the window and up at the sky. Still nothing. Just the clouds in the moon, so turning to the TV you flipped through Netflix before deciding on some movie to watch in the meantime.

At some point, you’re not sure when you fell asleep on the couch with the movie still playing in the background. When you finally came to the clock read 10:47, there was no chance of you falling back asleep in your bed now. Suddenly, the sound of footsteps could be heard in the studio down the hallway, freezing in your place you tried not to look over, just focus on the TV, you thought to yourself.

“What have you done to me…” You asked yourself as you continued to stare at the television, although you weren’t actually paying attention to whatever was happening on the screen, your mind was occupied with other things at the moment. Mainly, fighting the urge to look down the hallway, even though you know what you’ll see you still can’t help yourself.

Fortunately, by the time you turn your head he’s already gone, disappearing again only you’ll know he’ll be back at some point or another. ‘Why not move?’ One might ask, but being a broke graduate who’s still trying to pay back student debts you can’t afford to move, and even if you could you’re unsure if you would even want to. You would end up leaving behind so many memories of this place, the smiles and laughter the two of you shared here over the years would belong to someone else, and you didn’t want to do that.

After a couple hours, you found yourself dragging your feet across the cold wooden floor and into your bedroom, with your bed still unmade from the previous night you stripped off your clothes from the day and into a comfortable t-shirt and pair of shorts before you finally climbed into bed and under the covers. Sleep wasn’t welcoming you quick enough and it let your mind wander for a while. You thought about how long it had been since you’ve had a friend like Jisung and how he was one of the kindest humans you’ve met in a while. Now the line between strangers and friends has definitely been crossed but you wouldn’t consider yourself that close to him, you have fun hanging out and all but you don’t think you’re ready to pour out all your fears and secrets to him yet. Which is quite hypocritical as you basically just emptied out your heart in front of him, he even walked you home so maybe you were closer to him than once anticipated. Whatever it was, you were glad to have somebody like him back in your life. Soon, sleep took over your body has the clock read 2:24, earlier than you had thought and earlier than most nights, you gratefully fell asleep in hope that the nightmares would leave you be tonight. You’ve had enough for once.

Coffee mug in hand, and a bouquet of flowers on your left, you sat on the stairs leading up to your apartment complex - it was a quarter after ten and you were worried Jisung forgot about you. Right as you were getting ready to turn around and go back inside a silver car pulled up on your block, and as the window rolled down you could see Jisung sitting in the inside - music blasting through the speakers. He was wearing a simple grey sweatshirt and a black jacket over it, his grey-blonde hair still messy from the previous night of sleep.

Jisung waved his hand before leaning over and opening the passenger side door, relief rushed through you as you walked over to the car and as climbed into the seat next to him. Jisung turned down the radio and turned to you as you buckled your seat belt and put down your coffee mug in a cup holder next to you.

“Sorry I was a bit late I was busy getting that,” Jisung laughed a little before he pointed to behind him in the back of the car, where around five more bouquets of flowers and a couple wreaths sat. “I couldn’t decide on what flowers to get so I just kinda asked them to choose and stuff so-”

“Jisung, y-you didn’t have to do that...you don’t even have to take me there yet here you are being the sweetest human being.” You sat there astounded at the array of flowers that lay behind you.

“Well, it feels right and I wanted to,” Jisung scratched the back of his neck before he faced the front once again and turned the music back up. “You ready?”

“Probably not.” Jisung shrugged and smiled at you.

“That’s ok, no one ever is, are they?”

Looking down at your lap where you placed your small bouquet you gave yourself a sad smile and Jisung started driving down the street - music playing in the background you whispered only loud enough for yourself to hear.

“No, I guess not.”

The graveyard is quiet on a Friday morning, in the distance you can see few families gathering together to honor their passed loved ones. Surprisingly you can also see those who have already passed, some stand next to their family as they smile at them, others seem to be wandering aimlessly through the grass and trees further away. You shook your head and attempted to pay them no mind, Jisung and you were a bit too busy carrying flowers to think of anything else at this moment anyway.

You passed multiple rows of graves before you found a spot that was even remotely familiar, at this point you felt your breath grow heavy and your legs started to feel like they were being weighed down by chains. Your arms dropped everything you were carrying without a care in the world as soon as your eyes landed on the tombstone, the truth is, you hadn’t seen it until this point. Now, you felt your knees buckle under you as you heard a worried Jisung cry out your name. But you were too busy focusing on what laid in front of you.

Here Lies

Christopher Bang

A beloved son, brother, friend and lover.

Soon the tears started to fall and they seemed to have no plan on stopping, burying your face in your hands, the sounds of what could only be sobbing erupted from your mouth. You really weren’t prepared to see this, it felt too real, maybe up until now everything felt a bit surreal. Maybe, given time, you could’ve convinced yourself that it was all a bad dream. But now, being here, it all came crashing down on you at once. He really is gone.

You felt the warm presence of Jisung sit down next to you, he placed his hand on your back and took your hand in his.

“I’m gonna go back and get some stuff from the car, who knows, maybe it’ll be good for you to sit here on your own for a bit,” You could hear Jisung stand back up and take a couple steps back, face still buried in your hands you hear the wind rustle the grass and trees around you. “I’ll be back in a bit.” Jisung’s footsteps grew faint as the seconds ticked by and as you finally looked back up at the tombstone in front of you.

“Well, it sure has been a while hasn’t it Chan…” The distant conversations people are having as well as the rare chirp from a nearby bird seem to be the only other noise you can hear other than yourself. Sitting cross-legged on the grass you found yourself playing with a small rose in your hands, unsure of what to do - or say.

“You know, I’m not sure if you would be disappointed or proud of me at this point. For starters I haven’t really done much at all since well, you know...but I did make a friend. Yeah I know, I’m surprised too. But he reminds me a lot of you, he’s like a younger version more or less. He makes music too, and it’s honestly really good, you two would hit it right off if you met. Maybe you could’ve made something together, I don’t know.” You found that the tears had slowed down now, a few droplets fell only every so often.

“I can imagine what you would be saying to me right now, ‘time goes, and we can’t change what happens’ probably something under those lines. But still, without you here I keep wondering if ‘should I just give up?’ Before I lost my mind, the one who stood in front of me was always you. You always held onto me and told me to hold on a little longer, these days, starting to feel better is my one wish, it’s what I’m thinking about mostly but I’m not sure on how to fulfill that without you.” You sniffed and looked up at the sky, reading the words over and over again became too painful to do anymore.

“Y-you know I always told you you were gonna make it one day but look where we are now, honestly I think it should’ve been me, not you. You still had so much to offer the world.”

“y/n don’t you ever talk about yourself like that,” Whipping your head around you saw that Jisung had now returned with a couple more wreaths and flowers to decorate with. “I’m pretty sure Chan would tell you the same thing.”

“I-” You started in protest.

“No don’t say anything, help me with these, yeah?” He motioned to the pile of bouquets the two of you had brought, slowly standing up and wiping your jeans you walked over and grabbed one of the small wreaths of flowers before placing it directly in the middle of the tombstone. Nodding your head in satisfaction you turn back around you help Jisung with the rest, placing them in different spots and you almost ended up covering the entire front. When looking from a distance it really stands out compared to everyone else, it was quite a display and you were pretty happy with it. Chan would’ve liked this. You thought before stepping back and admiring your ten minutes of work, a smile found itself plastered on your face as a few tears still dropped down your cold cheeks.

“You know,” Jisung started as he found a spot standing next to you. “Shadows need light to exist, so don’t worry, you’ll get through this.” A soft chuckle was heard from you as you nodded your head and wiped your face of any remaining tears.

“Chan would’ve said that too,” You took the small rose you had been holding and planted a small kiss on the top of it before settling it in front of the grave. “Always one with words he was.”

“You ready?” Taking a few steps back you turned to Jisung and nodded your head, slowly walking passed him and down the hill, pass the wanders and other families all the way back to the car - Jisung only a couple steps behind you.

“Thank you for this,” You said as you closed the door on your side of the car. “Really, it means a lot.” Jisung turned the keys and started the engine before smiling at you.

“Anytime, y/n.”

The car pulled out of the small parking lot and through the gates, you took one more look of the hill now behind you. A small gasp escaped your lips as you could see Chan sitting ever so calmly next to his grave, picking up the rose you left before looking back up at the sky. The wind running through his blonde curls as you could clearly see a content smile across his face. He looked happy.

“y/n, you ok?” Jisung asked, looking back one more time you could see that Chan had disappeared once again, the small red rose now flying in the wind.

“Oh yeah, everything will be just fine.”

#skz #stray kids #kpop #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #kpop imagines #skz scenarios #stray kids scenarios #chan #bang chan #han jisung #jisung #chan imagines #stray kids fluff #bang chan imagines #han jisung imagines #kpop scenarios #bang chan x reader #han jisung x reader

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chuuyas--wine-bottle · 6 years

Text

Fem! Soukoku A/B/O

I am just sadpacito because of EU copyright law so allow me to shower you in some beautiful soft soft omegaverse hc that I had been talking about with @no-longer-tainted for days now uwu

Please also read this beautiful fic by her as well for a better overview of what tf I am talking about! Its a piece of god damn art that even Van Gogh cries over!

Also we decided to change some of the things within fem! A/B/O, for example instead of female alphas growing a dick, they have saliva that contains the fertilizer...thingy...yeah so oral sex and tongue does the deal here uwu

Like any other female alphas, Chuuya has a cup of b while Dazai is a cup d, thanks to omegas having curvy natural figures.

Female Alpha’s can increase their body heat to make their omega’s feel safe and sound.

Some Omega’s can have extremely irregular heats as well.

So female alphas and Omegas have their first heat later than the males, around 18 or 19. While Chuuya’s heat at 18 was pretty ok and Dazai helping her through, Dazai’s heat came later than any other omega girls. It was at her 22.

Chuuya had her first heat after a week of her birthday. Dazai was just lucky enough to be in her apartment to get her through. (NSFW will be soon under the cut)

Dazai didn’t mind being Chuuya’s mate once they had their feelings and emotions sorted out and had contently start dating.

So on Dazai’s 18th birthday, Chuuya was ready, so was Dazai. Blankets, boxs of chocolate and protein bars, canned crabs, energy drinks and chocolate milk, ready to go. But no, the heat didn’t come. Not even the following week, or the week after.

They weren’t surprised when the heat didn’t come after 9 months. However, they were ready again when she had turned 19 but no, not this year. Similarly, not even next year when she was 20 or the next next year when Dazai was 21 or 22.

At one point Dazai thought, perhaps it was because of her unhealthy eating habits, while Chuuya started to blame her own heats affecting Dazai’s (which is not possible but she was just worried for her girl uwu).

Things started to calm down, untill during the winter, they decide to go to a ski resort to spend their holiday.

It was cool and all till Dazai began to act weirdly once they had came in the hotel room after the second day of skiing. When Chuuya pressed her hands on Dazai’s forehead, her temperature was rising yet the thermometer said otherwise.

Soon Dazai started to blabber shits and lose her mind. Panicking, Chuuya decided to ring Kouyou.

When the older woman had picked her phone up, Dazai was already moaning for Chuuya and their entire hotel room was filled with Dazai’s soft rose like scent.

Chuuya can’t even breath in the room, its just so stiffy with Dazai’s scent. The shorter girl just whispers, “Ane- san..” To which Kouyou replies without a hesitant, “Dazai is on heat?”

Chuuya’s stomach is feeling Dazai’s heat too but she has no idea what to do. Kouyou asks how Dazai is doing.

“Heat? more like dying if anything fucking heck.” “Chuuya! Language! and if you say that does that mean its all good?”

Chuuya groans and Kouyou doesn’t tease her anymore. The older woman then instructs her to carry out everything as usual bedroom time but then also reminds her to take extra care when she does oral and reminds her to be gentler and softer since it’s Dazai first heat.

NSFW AND MORE SOFTER STUFF UNDER THE CUT UWU

Chuuya almost throws the phone when she finds Dazai nearly biting her arm’s scent glands off when she started to become even more restless.

She quickly grabs all of the extra blanket in the hotel cabinet and just throws them randomly everywhere to somewhat make it look like a nest. Also throwing some of hers and Dazai’s stuff in the nest too.

With shaky fingers, she struggled to unbutton Dazai’s tops but as soon as it was gone, she began to kiss every inch of Dazai and bite her scent glands on her neck to sooth her down.

Whispering soft words, Chuuya kissed and licked every inch of Dazai. Biting on her scent glands and marking her with her scent so that other alphas can’t lay a single finger on her.

Dazai seemed to calm down but for Chuuya it felt like Dazai had gone totally crazy over the heat. Not wanting to risk, Chuuya runs her hand down Dazai’s panties and isn’t surprised when she finds it merely wet and slick. Chuuya sighs and kisses Dazai’s forehead, coaxing her with soft murmurs of encouragement that made no sense to Dazai in her dazed mind.

Chuuya isn’t surprised when two of her fingers went inside in one go. Though it’s a bit too wild since it take a bit time for Dazai to take more than one finger in sometimes. Dazai moans aloud when she slides in a third finger and presses it just right. She clenches up and before Chuuya can even give some pump, Dazai cums.

At first Chuuya thought if it was just this then it would be ok since sure she can finger her all night along and shouldn’t be a much of a problem. But soon after 6th time of fingering, Dazai began to whine and she knew she would have to give her the oral that Dazai needed.

So she then threw some of her jeans at Dazai that she can inhale into while she does her job down there. Chuuya kissed the inside of her thighs that earned her a soft hiss as if Dazai was trying to tell her to hurry up. Chuuya smiled softly, Dazai still being adorable even if she was out of her mind now. She ran her tongue up and down her clit and that seemed to do the trick, Dazai was arching her back for more stimulation.

Once her tongue made Dazai cum, Chuuya had the urge to just spit on her fingers and press it on Dazai’s entrance to see what actually happens, so she does and as if Dazai’s body could tell what was happening, it had both calmed her down and made her more turned on than before.

After lord knows how many orgasms, Chuuya decided to take a break and use the washroom, only to come back to a silent Dazai staring blankly at the hotel’s ceiling. Chuuya just had opened a bar of protein when she realized Dazai was almost freezing. And that’s when it hit her that Dazai also needed Chuuya’s constant body heat. Chuuya then immediately puts a blanket over them and stats to rub on her inner thighs to get Dazai’s own body heat back on place. When that didn’t work, Chuuya just drapes herself over Dazai to sooth her freezing body.

Dazai just stares blankly at Chuuya and yes, Chuuya had to went down for the 100th time again.

That night Chuuya couldn’t even bring herself to sleep no matter how tired she was after THAT many rounds, because she knew the moment her eyes would close, Dazai would either get extremely cold or just lose her mind again (as if she didn’t already thanks to the heat)

And of course, Chuuya fell asleep on Dazai’s chest but woke up gagging to the smell of millions of roses in their hotel room. She hurriedly gets off the bed and opens another window and comes back to see Dazai with her brows furrowed in her sleep.

Chuuya shakes Dazai awake. Her eyes glistening and glassy under the dim lighting of the room. Chuuya cups Dazai’s cheek gently while Dazai leans onto the touch more.

“Shit! Dazai! Wake up, Osamu!” Chuuya tries her best not to scream. When Dazai finches Chuuya panics, “Fuck fuck, is there anything I can do Osamu!” Dazai just smiles tiredly and mumbles, “Just chibi..Just chibi...”

Chuuya panics again for how long has it even been since Dazai had been like this but starts to kiss her all over again like the previous evening.

So then Dazai’s heat goes on for 5 more days till the day before they leave the ski resort. That morning, Chuuya was snoring softly after their last round of sex and Dazai finally had finished her heat. Dazai woke up, rather fresh and had began to wake Chuuya up. Calling her slug and hatracks but when nothing worked she knew it was probably best for Chuuya to rest after that many days of making love.

The she gets up and takes a shower, her stomach growling, she gets the room service to bring them some food and such. When Chuuya wakes up Dazai is cleaning up their room and preparing for them to leave early morning the following day. Chuuya doesn’t say much except she just grabs Dazai by her neck and kisses her softly.

The last few hours in the ski resort, they spent going around and taking a small walk down the town and eating at the local restaurant.

The next morning they left as planned, taking the train back home. The train ride is 9 hours, but its ok since Dazai had her heat done and if anything bad happened Chuuya can use her martial art skills. Except, at 5 pm when she fell asleep on Dazai’s shoulder, she woke up to the same rose scent.

Chuuya thought it was her dream but fuck sadly it wasn’t. When she opened her eyes, she found Dazai again suckling on the glands on hand.

Chuuya almost screeched, they were in public and even if Dazai was her mated omega, if a group of alpha attacked them, lord knows what would happen.

Luckily, they arrived in their hometown within in a short amount of time and called a taxi back to their apartment, hoping that nothing would happen and Dazai can hold back. Dazai was about to lose her mind again if Chuuya didn’t bite her scent glands on the neck at the back of the cab and she would have fling herself out of the taxi window. Fortunately, the taxi driver was an elderly beta woman who knew the situation for them and drove them home on a safer route.

And when they came home, they went on it again for 8 more days.

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