#i remember specifically it was december 2021

[bluebellthesponge]

i completely forgot that my own copy of the communist manifesto includes historical artwork to illustrate the ideas and talking points with artwork

obviously reading material it’s not necessary at all but i just think it’s neat that the copy 16 year old me found at a half price books happened to be this one

[eggmeralda]

happy 10th anniversary to when I started remembering everything forever

[jordanrosenburg]

Abbott Elementary - The Savior of Sitcoms

When Abbott Elementary aired midseason in December of 2021, I don’t think any of us were ready. I had first heard about the show from Quinta Brunson’s TikTok. I’ve been following her since she worked for Buzzfeed, having made very funny and true digital shorts about what it’s like to be a woman, specifically a short woman. So, from time to time I liked to check in on her and see what she was up to. She was announcing her book, She Memes Well, and she briefly mentioned she was working on a pilot.

Quinta is a triple threat to the world of Abbott - she’s the head writer, executive producer, and lead actress. Her being a woman and doing all of these things is already incredible, but seeing a woman of color shine like this is truly inspirational, and quite honestly...it’s about damn time. Quinta was awarded the very well deserved Emmy for OUTSTANDING COMEDY WRITER. A young (she’s 32, that’s young) woman of color won an award for comedy writing. I cried tears of joy during her acceptance speech. As a woman, we’re basically told our whole lives that female comedians aren’t funny, so this was major for a multitude of reasons.

The cast of Abbott is comprised with some familiar face: Lisa Ann Walter, who many folks of my generation know as Chessy from The Parent Trap, Tyler James Williams of Everybody Hates Chris fame, Sheryl Lee Ralph, who many of us remember as Dee Mitchell from Moesha, and William Sanford Davis who is no stranger to the sitcom world. We also have Janelle James, a comedian who I had honestly never heard of, but is truly hilarious, and Chris Perfetti, another new face to me, but has quickly stolen my heart as his character Jacob.

The first season starts off during the spring semester of the school year. Janine, played by Quinta, is a semi-new teacher who wants to be the absolute best for her students. She’s young, ambitious, high-spirited, and is often annoying her colleagues.

Seasoned professional Barbara Howard, who happened to be Janine’s teacher back in the day, is probably the person annoyed by Janine the most. But only because Janine’s high energy and new teaching styles don’t jive with what Barbara’s used to. Throughout the season, Barbara ends up leaning on Janine a bit more, and starts to see her value as a teacher. Especially when it comes to using new technology that Barbara isn’t exactly savvy with.

Jacob is a corny, happy-go-lucky social studies teacher. He’s the closest with Janine. Jacob is the quintessential cis-white guy who is often a little too “woke” for his own good. But he means well, and even though his students refer to him as “Mr. C.” because he’s so corny, they love him as their teacher. He also has a very loving relationship with his boyfriend, which I enjoyed seeing represented.

Melissa is a fast fan favorite. Having grown up in Jersey, she brings a very real character to the table. She’s a math teacher, and a damn good one at that. Another seasoned professional, who is close with Barbara, but also plays by a lot of her own rules. If something needs to get done, she knows someone who knows someone who knows someone, but you didn’t hear it from her.

Gregory is new to the elementary school. He starts off as a substitute teacher. He was originally supposed to be the principal of Abbott, he was offered the job after going to school for it! But alas, the job was given to someone else - Ava Coleman. Ava has literally no teaching background of any kind. So how did she get the job?

Ava is often flirting with Gregory, making some very crude remarks. She uses the budget inappropriately for her own vanity, and only sometimes actually does her job. She and Janine tend to have many disagreements, but Janine is a passive person, so she’s usually coming up with some over the top idea to make a change instead of just simply discussing the issue with Ava. Not that Ava ever really listens, so it almost forces Janine to do something crazy.

And Mr. Johnson, our beloved custodian, is always there with a smart remark, often that extra comic relief we need to break the tension during some of the more serious scenes.

The show is a mockumentary style sitcom, similar to The Office, or Parks and Rec. The interviews the characters give aren’t as formal as they were on The Office. Most of the time when they’re talking directly to the camera, they’re in the hallway between classes. This style can be hard to pull off, especially when so many other sitcoms have done it, like Modern Family, for example. But Abbott does it flawlessly.

Like many of my favorite shows, we have a slow burn occurring between two main characters: Gregory and Janine. Gregory makes it pretty obvious, to the cameras, that he likes Janine right away.

In fact, part of the reason he takes the open position to become a full-time teacher and not a substitute, by the end of the school year is so he can still be around Janine. Nothing can be too easy, though. We learn early on that Janine has a long-time boyfriend, Tariq. Tariq is basically a deadbeat, going from one dead-end job to the next, leaving Janine to constantly pick up the slack. But they’ve been together for well over ten years, so she’s not exactly looking to start anew.

However, by the end of the first season, Janine does end things with Tariq. And it’s not because she’s in love with Gregory. As much as we want them to be Jim and Pam, they’re not. Janine breaks up with Tariq because she realizes she’s simply outgrown him, and it’s not healthy for either of them to stay in their relationship. It’s not easy for her to come to terms with this, we see that at the beginning of season two as she pretends to be fine with the breakup. Throughout the first season, Janine evolves quite a bit. She’s much more confident as a teacher going into the fall semester. She’s more sure of herself and her capabilities.

The show is heartwarming at its core. Yes, it’s extremely laugh out loud funny. (Which is a big deal because a show rarely makes me audibly laugh, so the fact that I’ve laughed so hard I’ve nearly cried?? Yeah, this is a well written show.) All of the main characters go through a sort of “after school special” moment that helps them grow and become better. I think my favorite person’s journey is Gregory’s. He was obviously bitter about not getting the principal position. He’s also just a very odd duck. He likes order and rigidity. He only eats plain, boiled chicken between two slices of white bread. (He doesn’t like when different foods mix together. When he admitted he didn’t like pizza, it was a whole thing. Jacob was the most offended, especially when Gregory also told them he didn’t pie.)

Gregory doesn’t get goofy or silly with his students, he prefers order. But he slowly starts to realize that if he’s going to actually have a good command over his classroom, then he’ll need to let loose a little.

We’re three episodes in to the second season, and it’s already holding up to the groundbreaking first. This isn’t always easy to do. Sometimes when a show has such an incredibly good first season, the second season can feel lackluster. But not Abbott Elementary. Less than a minute into the first episode, I was already laughing hysterically. Janine was discussing her breakup, so we cut to a scene showing Tariq packing up his friend’s car, and them both driving away. Tariq had a shining smile on his face as he danced in the passenger seat while ‘Snap Yo Fingers” by Lil Jon blasted through the speakers.

The main cast are back to their old antics: finding ways to keep the students interested, doing their best to keep the school from crumbling, and just getting through each day one step at a time. The teachers lean on one another for so many things, and I don’t think that’s something we’ve seen in a show with a school setting before. Most sitcoms that take place in school are usually about the students, not the teachers. And if it is about the teachers, it’s usually very serious. We’re getting a real and unique perspective about what teachers have to deal with at a semi-underprivileged school. Second and third grade classes get lumped together, the textbooks are nowhere near new, and the grant money Janine won for new supplies had to go towards getting rid of a rat infestation in the cafeteria.

Not that it’s all about Janine and Gregory and their slow burn, but if we’ve learned anything from watching Jim and Pam (The Office), or Jake and Amy (Brooklyn Nine-Nine), or Ben and Lesley (Parks and Rec), or even Jonah and Amy (Superstore), these two will not be confessing feelings any time soon. And if they do, they won’t be getting together as an official couple until at least the end of the third season, as many of the couples listed previously did. I’m really excited to see how it all plays out. I know it’s going to be good.

In my opinion, we haven’t had a truly good sitcom in quite some time. Many of our favorites have long since ended. Sometimes when I see the current ones, the ones that are on cable networks like ABC, CBS, and NBC, I find myself asking, “How is this still on the air?”. One of the last good ones standing, again in my opinion, was Brooklyn Nine-Nine, which ended in 2021 after eight seasons. Modern Family ended in 2020, but despite the few really funny clips I’ve seen from that show, I never got into it to watch regularly. Just because a family is blended and a little unconventional, doesn’t mean it’s modern. Who was it modern to? The upper-middle class? The same goes for Black-ish, which ended last spring. That was another show I tried to get into, but just couldn’t. To me, it was just another show about an upper-class family. Yes, the cast was diverse and had good representation, but not everyone lives like that family did. Other honorable mentions are: The Good Place (2016-2020), Schitt’s Creek (2015-2020), and Superstore (2015-2021). Many of these beloved shows have all ended within the last three years. And what are we left with? The Goldbergs? Young Sheldon? Grown-ish? Hard pass. If you like those shows, no shade, they’re just not my cup of tea.

And even though we have shows on paid streaming services like Ted Lasso (a must watch if you’re able), that’s not a program that’s easily accessible to everyone. I’m hoping Abbott sparks inspiration for more warm-hearted comedies. It’s a show that’s fun for adults, but it’s something you can still watch as a family if you so choose. Having someone like Quinta as a writer is truly the key to its success. The show is funny, relatable, sometimes gut-wrenching, and something I look forward to watching every week. 

[clydesavage-thefox147]

So, I feel the need to say something here.

So, I watched a recent video Thomas has been in with Smosh Pit. It was overall a sweet and funny video. But that's not what this is about. It's about the ending. When Thomas was asked the quintessential question of "where can they find you?" He goes like "Oh I do shorts, long form and short form" and "keeping up Vine". I was like yeah makes sense to bring that up, that's fine. But then he brought up Roleslaying with Roman. He was very happy to bring it up. However, no mention of Sanders Sides at all. I get it, Sides could be chalked up the being long form Vine things seeing as the characters are from Vine but...feels off. I remember times Thomas did advertise Sides on collabs and stuff. But other times he wouldn't really advertise anything specifically and just say the socials' names and just say basic shit like "fun videos with nice messages" etc.

But, I've also taken note that Thomas has been REEEEEEALLY pushing Roleslaying, a series that a lot of us weren't really expecting to be the way it turned out to be. We were just told "Roman series" for like a couple years before it was officially revealed. We all expected Sides Roman and we all felt kinda ripped off. Don't get me wrong, the series is nice and all, has a decent story, and it can be engaging to a degree, but it does have it pit falls. But, he's been really adamant on getting the series popular. Constantly promoting it, making a podcast for it(which to me seems unnecessary) and what seems like begging(to me) for 5 star reviews so that Roman of Reston can read them. Now it's like number 25 on Leisure on Spotify because of it. That is great and all but again, Thomas seems like he's forgetting where this series even originated from...Sanders Sides. His bread and butter. The series that garnered a majority of fans he has. A series we're all waiting for proper episodes for with the same spark and energy that it had originally. It seems Thomas has just lost interest in Sides but knows it's what got him popular on the YouTube space so he keeps it up for the money and relevance(for example Patreon branding). He says he still loves the series and enjoys working on it but the longer it takes to produce, the more it seems like it's taken a back seat in priority. I really hope this season finale is really worth the hype he's been pushing for it. But, the way he's been pushing Roleslaying makes it seem like he's saying "Like this! Please Like this! I wanna do this more!" Thomas, buddy, you need to realize that Roleslaying wouldn't exist without the popularity of Sanders Sides. Hell, Sanders Sides wouldn't exist without the Vine characters.

Now look, I get that Thomas shouldn't be tied down to just doing Sides content. But, using it now as a kind of cash grap and attention grabber like dangling keys in front of child feels sad to me. Feels like lately he's been using it as a buzz word or just for products...which is ironic because all sides merch has been wiped off the merch store. Sure, it could be making way for new ideas but they've made several over the years under the same manufacturer and didn't do this before. So, it feels off. If it was because they were out of stock, they could just list it as "Sold Out", not wipe it entirely. And Now he's released Roleslaying merch and new Could be Gayer merch. Which that's fine, just feels weird that that is all that is available right now. Especially because I remember Thomas talking about hoodies for each side back in December of 2021 but a manufacturing issue came up. He said that it was due to the company not being able to do "custom orders" like that detailed. Which, I understood. But then like a week or so later, the Bucket Hats were released which just didn't really help the previous statement. So this whole thing feels off. I'm just hoping it's just a wait of restock or new design releases in the future.

I know this year has been hard on Thomas to do what he wanted in terms of the season finale. I hope that now that things are seemingly getting better, he'll continue the promise he made this year into next year of getting at least Part 1 of it out, maybe two if lucky. I just feel like Sides has plummeted from grace. What it once had is now a slowly crumbling ancient temple, that the more you try to patch it and keep it up..it doesn't last long. If there isn't a significant restoration done soon, it'll all fall apart. I pray that once the Season finale is released, the fandom will have a resurgence. Old fanders come back, animatics are everywhere, art is flying out like hot cakes, forums are booming, it's trending everywhere, and the fandom is reborn...and hope it stays that way into the third and final season. Hell, I hope Joan does come back to a degree and revive the husk the series has become. But, it's up to them to decide that. Now, seems like Quil is the only one left of the old writers of the series. And if she leaves, season 3 is going to be wild and may not even feel canon but again we have yet to see that.

I just want what drew me to this series back again. Is that too much to ask genuinely?

[talisidekick]

I need your help...

If you don't know me, hello, I'm Accalia, I go by Tali Sidekick online on Youtube, Instagram, and on the rarest of occasions Twitch. I'm a 29 year old transgender woman from Canada, who came out and began socially and medically transitioning in 2021. I stream largely on Youtube and on the rare occasion I make videos (it's been over a year since I last did that).

I could use your help affording my legal name change. I've been trying to afford it myself but I'm unable to for reasons I'll get into below. The link is in my blog description, but I'll post it here:

Recently, while walking home from work (I don't make enough to afford public transit or my own vehicle or a bicycle) I got attacked by a middle-aged man in a dimly lit residential neighbourhood. I got away, and thankfully I didn't give him enough time to do more than grab me by the arm. However, I had to file a police report, which gave me two options: use my legal name which at current is my deadname (ie. a name I no longer wish to use) which would be distressing to say the least, or submit it anonymously. I chose the latter which unfortunately does little besides let the public know that someone dangerous with a vague description is in their area. I wish I could have put my name on that report but using my legal name as it stands now is ... I can't.

To add to this, I was saving up, but unfortunately the student loans I owe decided to charge me during an appeal process (they weren't supposed to) and when the charge partially bounced they denied my appeal (which isn't supposed to happen under the contract agreement I signed) because of "outstanding payments". The appeal process also only looked at my gross income for one month, specifically the month I got paid 3 times in (it happens only once a year) and decided to combine all three payments into an equal 2 and evaluated my paycheck at around 25/hr when I only make 16/hr and has thus denied me reduced loans payment (I'm working on this but it's adding to my stress). So at current, the $300 I had extra got eaten by the National Student Loans Services Centre (NSLSC) again and from previous experience even though I should be reimbursed once this is cleared up, I won't be.

I would have also had more (remember that extra third paycheck?) but my health insurance stopped covering me because despite being signed up to a provincial pharmacy program they decided I wasn't, and forced me to buy my hormones and ADHD meds out of pocket. They only -just- reinstated coverage, but getting reimbursed will take over a month possibly 2.

As such, I have exactly $48 in savings and $7 in my basic checking account.

I want to get my name changed, I've been trying for over 2 years, and it's been impossible. Every time I have the money to spare, the NSLSC eats it and doesn't give it back, some medical thing comes up, or some unforseen cost rears its head and consumes my meager savings. The cost averages out to about $450 because it requires Finger Printing for a background check, Notary Fees, Processing Fees, and Reprinting Fees for my Birth Certificate, Drivers License, and Marriage License.

And if the $450 goal is exceeded, any excess getsput towards affording the $6000 surgery cost of getting SRS/GRS (Sex Reassignment Surgery/Gender Reassignment Surgery). I have until December next year before my government will no longer cover the cost of the surgery supposedly.

If I can get help here, I really want all my legal doccuments to read "Llorelei Accalia [Lastname]". I'm so tired of having to explain to people that I'm transgender because the name, face, and (somehow) voice don't match.

Currently at:

$50/$450

[t4transsexual]

have you ever dated cis women? when did you decide to be t4t?

i have dated a couple of cis women, one for a little while and we didnt get on because she was one of those fems who doesnt want their butch/masc/transmasc partner to have feelings and needs and also didnt want me to say no to sex and we didnt last long because i was deeply unhappy with her

as for when i decided to be t4t, i guess its probably about time i open up about the specific instance(s) that lead to me deciding to be exclusively t4t, because i havent actually talked about what pushed me to make the shift into exclusively dating trans people. i was trying to run a more positive page and frankly i wasnt really ready to talk about this so publicly, especially with the terf/transphobe interaction i get almost all the time on this account, but i figure i can now and ill probably turn off replies if i can figure out how

tw for graphic description of sexual assault and transphobia under the cut

when i started medically transitioning, i decided to try dating guys again. keep in mind i had a lot of comphet before deciding i was t4t; i basically only really beat that around 2022 when i turned 20. and i matched with a cis guy on tinder, who looked like he had a lot of personality judging by his photos i was 18, almost 19 at the time

literally the first thing this man says to me, after i tell him im trans, is "oh, cool, i love femboys." red flag #1. i said, "im not a femboy, i present masculinely, dont call me that." he apologized, and we moved on

at some point, we're talking about sex. he says hes very subby and a size queen. all fine, i told him i was a stone top/dom, i didnt really like experiencing penetration and it was painful for me due to a condition i had at the time. he says thats fine, everythings good. this will be important later

later, he tells me he told his parents i was trans. i asked him why, given that he both didnt ask me first and said his parents were transphobic. he says "my mom asked, was i just supposed to lie?" i say, yes. he apologizes, i /really/ want to call the whole thing off at this point but he seemed nice enough that maybe he just didnt know trans dating as well as i did

the entire relationship, he just says transphobic shit. he told me that he "understood why people didnt want to date trans people, because its a lot of baggage." he was an active alcoholic by the way. and also dating a trans person. he would neg me for being trans and then turn around and say that i was such a hot guy. he even misgendered me one time, and got upset at me for getting pissed about it, and made me believe i was overreacting. he made me believe that he was doing me a favor by ever dating me

at some point, we're at my parents house, and he tells me he wants to fuck me with his penis. i tell him no, that i dont want to, that i dont know about it, that im scared, pretty much anything i can say to get him to reconsider, but he argued and said itd be good for me and that i can choose which hole but it became very clear to me that i had no choice. so i said he could fuck my pussy

it was excruciating. it hurt so bad, but i knew i couldnt say no. he couldnt stay hard unless he was degrading me and i didnt want him to, so he kept making me jerk him off so he could keep raping me

eventually he stopped, and i wasnt even really aware i had been raped at first. ive been sexually abused by several people in my life and generally it has taken me a while to accept when ive been sexually abused by a person. so we kept dating like normal, long distance btw, but my mental health was deteriorating. i was suicidal for the first time in a while. i was self harming again. i couldnt stop thinking about killing myself.

eventually, he breaks up with me for being suicidal. he says im guilt tripping him or something, i dont remember. and that was december of 2021

we go no contact. i still dont realize he raped me. but i knew that there was something deeply wrong in the way our relationship was

right after him, i dated a trans woman who we went to the same high school. just the difference in how i was treated by her than by him, with her she treated me like i was an actual equal in the relationship. with him, he felt he was superior to me; like he "owned" me, or something

we broke up, we werent really compatible, but when i got with her, she taught me what being t4t was, and the implicit understanding and the comfort and safety i felt. after we broke up was when i decided i didnt like men, and still remained t4t after

i realized what he did to me was rape nearly a year later. he correctively raped me for being a stone top, more specifically, and i dont think he wouldve been "empowered" to rape me if i was a cis man, or even a cis woman. i understand that the "off" feeling i felt throughout that relationship was because he, as a cis person, felt superior over me as a trans person, and felt that if he wanted to fuck me, i shouldnt get a say. he talked about doing other actions to me that i didnt want done at the time, certainly not by him, and if we werent long distance, he probably wouldve raped me several more times

being with my current girlfriend, we click in a way that i havent felt with any cis person, the women included. she definitely isnt going to rape me for being trans. ive undergone physical therapy so that if i ever got raped again, it wouldnt hurt as bad, and it worked and ive actually enjoyed bottoming (consensually) with my girlfriend. she makes me feel very safe, and we understand each other and each others needs as trans people very well, and being with her has helped me process the time i was raped, and the several other times ive been sexually abused by other people

now that ive had time to process these things, i would say that i dont feel the same way around trans people (including me) dating cis people anymore. when i first started this account, i wouldve never admitted this then btw, i fully did not think trans people should date cis people, because i had fostered such a deep distrust of cis people as a result of that whole relationship and assault. i believed cis people would always be bad partners to trans people, but i dont believe that anymore. in the very unlikely circumstance i find myself single again, i may even consider dating a cis woman again. but probably not, because ive grown to really like the implicit understanding that we as trans people get with other trans people

thats why im t4t, and when i became t4t was around the beginning of 2022

[tsukiyouyuis]

Snow Light

Hi everyone:) I finally decided to post the one and only writing I did for Genshin! This was an old work I did back in January 2022 to commemorate one of my most valuable game experiences. (I started Genshin in December 2021)

Character: Diluc Ragnvindr

Pov: You = The traveler/Player self-inserted

Synopsis: You have always wanted to explore Dragonspine ever since you first arrived in Mondstadt, but the cold was too much for you to handle, unless you can go with someone who is warm enough…

Premise: Both you and Diluc are secretly having a crush on each other.

Timeline: Liyue archon quest. Post-Mondstadt archon quest + Diluc’s story quest.

Tags: SFW, fluff, confession, adventure, Diluc is sweet and caring

Please note:

This is a translated work. Please note that English is not my first language and I’ve never written a fic in English before. I tried my best for the translation and please bear with me if you find any mistakes.

No gender specific pronouns were used. However, “you” was implied to be a female at some point since it was written on my POV based on my true game experience.

The title of this work came from the song “Snow Light” by Kensho Ono (Diluc’s JP VA). For me, those lyrics are Diluc's words of confession. I put the translations at the end and you are very welcome to check out how I think Diluc confesses his love specifically in this context :)

I hope you enjoy reading this long story ^_^

After destroying another hilichurl’s camp, you suddenly feel tired of everything.

You silently put those materials into your bag and walk to the highest spot of the mountain. The sun at noon is quite dazzling and it is hurting your eyes a bit, but it does not prevent you from having a great view of the entire Liyue Harbor. No matter what happens, those bustling streets and crowds will always be there.

It has been a while since you left the city of freedom and came to this land of geo. You are having a lot of fun admiring the beautiful yet different scenery and cultural heritage. Meanwhile, you have also met a lot of weird people, which…did not really surprise you right after leaving Mondstadt. The most typical example would be the man who is accompanying you in your journey -- Zhongli, the consultant of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, who is extremely knowledgeable on almost everything, yet being totally clueless about money. Thanks to him, you always have to keep an eye on your mora to ensure that you and Paimon can still pay for your meals…

But this did not prevent you from growing interests for Liyue. In order to get to know this nation better, you have decided to do your daily commissions only here.  

You haven’t been active in Mondstadt for quite a while.  

Even so, you can easily to go back thanks to the teleport waypoints. Mondstadt is like a home for you. You know you can never actually leave there, especially after you have already crossed paths with too many people.

But there is only one main reason for you to keep going back and forth in two nations.

Every day, you would teleport back to Dawn Winery after finishing your activities. You would stroll around the statue of the seven, pick up a few windwheel asters, and look at the windmills of the city in distance. You would then go sit on the bench, enjoy the scent of grapes and wine. At the end, you would go inside the manor, and wait for the next day to begin.

The winery is open to the public all year round, but the maids and Elzer have basically acquiesced in you being there. Adelinde remembered all the books you like to read, and she would even prepare them for you beforehand. Almost every day, you would leave in the morning and come back in the evening, which made you feel like you are treating this place as a home more than the owner does.

However, you haven't seen Diluc since you worked together to resolve the stormterror issue. He seems rarely comes home. Sometimes he did come back, but you either happened to be away or have already fallen asleep in one of the guest rooms. You heard that he would occasionally work at the Angel’s Share as a bartender, so whenever you completed your commissions quickly enough, allowing you to come back earlier, you would always drop by. But only archons would know why you were unlucky enough to miss the redhead every single time. Instead, you did encounter that cavalry captain quite often. It always turned out that you were teased by him and had to ran away from the tavern with flushed cheeks.

Well known by everyone in Mondstadt, Diluc Ragnvindr is a handsome and wealthy gentleman, the highly respected young master of Dawn Winery. However, only a few know that he is also the “Darknight Hero” who protects the city every night. No matter using which identity, he will not be distracted by anything and always gets everything done perfectly. As far as you can remember, Diluc's expression has never changed dramatically, and coupled with his calm demeanor, it is not surprising if people say that he is grumpy or lacking emotion.

But that is not the case, you know it. When Paimon called him "Captain Pyro", he let out a disapproval grunt, but then acquiesced in this more nonsensical name after the tasteless title of "Darknight Hero". You spent quite a lot of time working with him during the stormterror attacks. Every night when you left the winery and said good night to him, he would look straight into your eyes and say "Alright, see you next time, I’ll make sure you get home safely." His soothing voice, his gentle tones, the tint of smile in his eyes…How can you ever forget those moments?

Yes, unknowingly, like many girls in Mondstadt, you have secretly fell in love with this prince of the dark night. Every day, you would spend quite a long time in Dawn Winery, scanning through the rows of books on the bookshelf with your fingertips, and then randomly pick one, sit down and read it carefully. Diluc is in charge of basically the entire alcohol industry in Mondstadt and probably half of Teyvat, the contents of his book collections are naturally about alcohol. You have heard from Conner saying that “Master Diluc has never read books in the winery, not even once…” But even so, your day-to-day habits have not changed, despite you don’t really understand the content by heart.

After all, this is the only way you can get close to Diluc without being able to meet him.

The dazzling sunshine pulls you out of your memories. You blink, and your eyes drift involuntarily to another direction – the direction of Dragonspine, which is the only place you haven’t explored in Mondstadt. Of course, it's not that you haven't tried, but the sheer cold was really beyond your ability to bear. Probably you will try again after you become stronger, or being able to master the pyro element, just like Diluc…

You can’t help but think of him again. Being a wielder of a pyro vision, he surely won’t be bothered by such coldness. He himself is as warm and bright as the morning sun, otherwise how can he dispel the shadow covering Mondstadt?

You sigh and open the map, trying to figure out how to kill the rest of the afternoon and hopefully, this will pull you out from all those fantasies about the redhead…

But a second later, you hear something behind you. Fear builds up in your chest instantly and you almost fall down. Thanks to the person who made the sound grabbed your arm, you did not fall off the cliff.

"I see…It seems like you are more easily to get nervous after gaining more experience."

That familiar voice makes you turn your head swiftly, and you see the face you have been thinking about all day and night. You can see the reflection of your flustered self in those ruby-like eyes.

"Oh! D-Diluc—uh, sir," you dodge his gaze, feeling the scorching heat spread from the back of your ears, "Ah...why you happen to be here?"

Diluc frowns slightly after hearing the honorific you deliberately added, but his tone is as calm as usual, "It doesn't matter where I am, right? This is nothing to be surprised about."

"But…we are in Liyue?" And on the top of a mountain with nothing but monsters and trees.

Anyone would find it strange that Master Diluc, who is dedicated to protecting Mondstadt day and night, appears in a place other than Mondstadt for no obvious reasons.

"..." Diluc freezes for a short moment, he then lets go of your arm, "This is not something you should worry about." Under your curious yet confused gaze, he slowly looks away and clears his throat, "…Please don't look at me like that."

"Ah, yes, I'm sorry!" You apologize in a panic, quickly adjusting your facial expression. But you accidentally see the blush of his ears. Before you had time to think about it, Diluc speaks again.

"There's no need to apologize.” He said, the slight embarrassment that was previously on his face is gone as if you were hallucinating, “How are you doing recently?"

"Eh? Um, well…" you are a little caught off guard, but still answer him with a smile, "I'm doing good, and I haven't been too busy with commissions recently. Thank you, Master Diluc, for your concern."

Diluc does not respond immediately, but his eyes soften, which is captured by you. A faint happiness fills your heart. You know that he is not simply being polite, but is genuinely caring about you.

"It's been a while since you and I have seen each other." After a short pause, he continued, "I heard from Adelinde that you would visit the winery every day. Did you encounter any difficulties?"

"Well...um...not really." You keep your gaze down, attempting to hide your embarrassment by fiddling with your own fingers. What are you supposed to tell him? Of course you can't just say that you want to stay at the house of your crush for… a little longer.

Diluc sighs, "It's alright if you don't want to tell me, but if you encounter any problems or have any needs, you can always come to me."

Ah, yes…He had said the same to you after the darknight hero incident. You did encounter a lot of problems when you first started your adventure, but you didn’t want to bother Diluc for such personal matters. After all, he is known as a busy person. So in the end you would always find a way to solve everything by yourself, even if you ended up getting yourself into more troubles, failing everything, or getting injured. After all, you dare not rely on others easily after parting from your sibling.

But these are actually excuses, you know that. After realizing that you had fell for Diluc, you didn’t know how to deal with your feeling, because you know it will never work out. You are an outlander, a traveler. After you find your sibling and reach the end of the journey, you will leave Teyvat, and you will leave him, probably forever.

You had tried to avoid him, thinking that in this way, your feelings would fade away as the time goes by.

But unfortunately, the effects were completely opposite. Your feelings towards him grew day by day until you couldn’t suppress them in any possible way. You couldn’t help but wanting to meet him. You want to stay with him, to talk with him, to travel with him, to rely on him…

You feel your face starts to burn as you are thinking about it, and you are so flustered that you don't know where to look. Diluc is standing right in front of you, and as you keep avoiding making eye contacts with him, your attention is caught by the vision attached to his belt. The pyro element glimmers in the glass bead, and that beautiful crimson color resembles the wielder’s eyes and hairs.

"Traveler?"

Diluc's puzzled voice is heard overhead, and you finally decide to look up and meet his eyes. At that moment, you suddenly accept the fact that no matter how hard you try to supress your feelings, it is useless, so there is no point to torture yourself like this. You already knew that it will never work out, so now you might as well follow your own inner thoughts.

"A-Actually, I have a matter that you could probably help me, Master Diluc." You try to calm yourself down, but you seem have lost your voice, "If it's possible..."

Diluc didn’t respond, and his expression stays the same, but obviously he is waiting for your next words.

"Could you…um, accompany me to Dragonspine...?"

You can’t help but to start panicking right after saying it. What if he rejects you? Once again, you find it is too hard to look him into the eyes, but it will be strange to lower your head suddenly. So you lock your eyes on the red gem on his bow tie and meanwhile, clasping your hands tightly behind your back, feeling that your palms are starting to sweat.

"Yes," Diluc agrees immediately, without even a hesitation. You look at him again in surprise, but you can see that he is confused. "But what are you going to do in Dragonspine? If you need any materials, I can find them for you directly."

"Ah, it has nothing to do with materials! It's just because I haven't really been there yet." Your respond excitedly, temporarily forgetting the shyness and embarrassment when facing Diluc. "I can’t master the pyro element at the moment, and it's just too cold there..."

Diluc looks into your shining eyes, the corners of his mouth are slightly raised, "I see, you are right. After all, you are an adventurer, and the joy of adventure always comes first."

His smile makes you lose your mind once again. Those feelings that have just been left behind came back to you in the blink of an eye.

A gentle gust of wind blows, Diluc looks at the blue sky, and you look at him. His crimson hairs is so beautiful under the sunshine, just as dazzling as the dawn.

“Let’s go.”

​

Dragonspine is still as beautiful as in your memory. The white snow covers every inch of the land, yet that’s not the only colour. The most conspicuous one is undoubtedly the red beam of the statue of the seven, which will be your destination today.

You follow Diluc silently. The sound of your boots stepping on the snow seems to be amplified many times. Even though you two had left the teleport waypoint for not even a minute, you already start to feel the sheer cold is devouring you.

"Here, take this," Diluc, who had been silent all this time, suddenly speaks. You are startled, while he hands over a red ore, "This is called the scarlet quartz, which can keep you warm temporarily."

The moment you take the scarlet quartz, it disappears as if melted by your body temperature.  You suddenly feel a nice and warm aura surrounding you.

"Wow, this is amazing!" You look at your hands in surprise, "Thank you, Master Diluc!"

"No need. The effect of the quartz can only last for a while. So if you are still cold, just let me know any time." He responds, followed by a hesitant expression.

"... Diluc,” he speaks after a brief pause, “just...call me Diluc is fine."

His words make you stop everything you were doing and thinking but only to look at him. At your first glance, Diluc's face is still as unamazed as usual, but obviously he is trying you avoid your eyes. And probably your vision is not too well due to the snow, but you are pretty sure that you see a suspicious faint blush on his cheeks. Could it be because he was just too cold as well……?

"B-But..." You stammer, feeling the heat gradually creeping up your entire face. But before you can say anything else, a group of hilichuirls, those who have ice shields in their hands, appears out of nowhere.

Immediately, Diluc gushes forward. Crimson flames burst out along with his movements. Even you, who is a distance away from the battle, can feel that extreme heat mediating from him. The moment when you come back to your senses and get ready to help, the battle is over, leaving only the melted snow and fallen materials.

You stand there awkwardly. Of course, the main reason that you invited Diluc, who masters the pyro element, to accompany you to Dragonspine was because you wanted to rely on him a little. Something like this shouldn’t be surprising, but when it actually happens, you still feel really bad about your incapability.

Diluc puts away his claymore and turns to you. And as if he had seen through your mind, his expression softens, "It’s nothing."

Seeing that you are still standing in a daze, he hesitates for a moment, and then comes closer to you. He lightly pokes your forehead with his gloved fingertips, "Come on, just take the materials, and we'll move on, okay?"

"……Thank you." You whisper your gratitude, blushing, and trying your best to let your heart calm down from his touch and his words. Diluc's voice is still as gentle and soothing as ever, making you feel like you are floating on top of the cloud. His flames seem to have lingered onto the skin touched by him, It’s not a burning heat, but a warmth that flows into your heart.

Fortunately, there are not too many enemies popping out as you two are getting closer and closer to the statue. Or maybe, all kinds of hilichuirls are buried under Diluc's flames when you are too busy enjoying the scenery or collecting materials.

You have never stayed this close to him for such a long time. His flying red hairs, flames brought out by his claymore, all perfectly complement with the whiteness of the snow. You always stare at him subconsciously and have to spend at least few seconds to bring your mind back.

He is just like a tint of fire that keeps you warm in the snow, makes you feel incredibly safe, makes you can’t feel the cold seeping into your body.

And it isn't until you hadn't been close to any fire or the minerals of the scarlet quartz for quite a while that you realized that you were already freezing.

Unfortunately, this is a bad timing. Diluc is not by your side now. He asked you to wait for him a bit and then left. You look at the surroundings, the beautiful snow you were seeing before is now somehow shrouded in a layer of dark mist.

An inexplicable fear surges into your heart like a tide. The wind is freezing cold, whistling in your ears. You tightly wrap all of your clothes around your body, but still can’t stop the biting chill from pouring into your collar. It is not that you have never felt cold before, but you still get scared after seeing your breath condensed into visible white particles floating around you.

Your vision has started to blur, and your legs seem to have lost all the strength…You are about to fall down—

The wet and cold feeling of the snow does not come as you expected. Instead, you feel soft fabrics, surrounded by a faint aroma of grapes and firewood. It is so familiar and reassuring, it is your favorite smell...

"Careful!"

You are still cold, but the fear in your heart fades away instantly, just like ice being melted by fire. And as you gradually catch your breath, you slowly open your eyes, and find yourself leaning on Diluc's chest, with him gently encircling your waist.

Oh archons, this is way too close, and he is holding you in his arms. Normally, you surely would immediately jump away, flustering like a mass and wanting to die. But now you can’t even stand properly, and your brain is just not functioning. Diluc's clothes are as cold as the surrounding environment, but strangely, his embrace is so warm, warm enough to make you, a person who is cold and longing for warmth instinctively, want to stay like this forever.

But after you recover a little bit and feeling able to stand still, the unbelievable idea of "being held by Diluc in his arms" brings you back to reality again. Diluc obviously notices the change in you. He lets go of his hand, but then immediately takes off his coat and wraps it around you, almost covering your whole body.

"I’m sorry," he looks at you, obviously worried, "I shouldn't have left you alone."

"I was just looking for a place where we can rest. I should’ve taken you with me."

You shake your head, "No…no, please don’t apologize, Master Diluc. I know you will come back." But to be honest, you almost let your fear won after realizing that you couldn’t feel any other human being but yourself in this cold, empty, and completely silent place.

"..." Diluc does not answer directly but looks at you deeply. Something is in his eyes, but you can’t really tell what it is. He then holds your hand, "...Come with me."

He takes you to a spot with cooking ware and fire, which seems to be lightened just now. The whole area is surrounded by tall rocks that block most of the wind. Almost immediately, you start to feel your hand and face again as the warmth seeping into your frozen bones. Diluc makes sure you sit down near the fire, then he started to set up the cooking pot.

You stand up again as a reflex. You’ve already done this on your own so many times, even when you were injured badly enough that you could barely move. And besides, no matter what is happening, it is still hard to let the master of Dawn Winery to cook for you.

"Sit down and rest."

His slightly commanding tone makes you unable to disobey. You can only sit down again, obediently.

While fixing your gaze on Diluc, you let yourself completely immersed into his coat. The smell of firewood mixed with the faint aroma of grapes and wine is now surrounding you once again. You take a deep breath, recalling this smell from Dawn Winery, from the vineyard, from the books he read, pages he touched… At that moment, you feel like you are at home.

You observe Diluc once again. This is the first time you see clearly what are under his coat. A black shirt with a white vest, the belt that goes from his shoulder and connected to his waist… He has such a nice shape…If you look further downwards-

You are startled by what you are doing and immediately turn your head aside, squeezing your eyes shut.

Now you are really warmed up……

After having some warm soup, you feel much better. The snow seems to be lighter than before as you two set out on the road again. You can see that red beam of light is getting closer and closer to you.

Snow falls on Diluc's hairs and shoulders. His shirt is slightly disheveled by the wind. You suddenly remember his coat is still on you.

"Master Diluc, " You speak hesitantly, about to take it off, "Um… you must be cold, I'll give this back to-"

"You can wear it." He replies, "The pyro vision can minimize the impact of the coldness on my body." He puts the coat back on you, carefully feeling your body temperature, "You need to keep warm more than I do. If you fall down again, I will be very troubled."

Thus you get the following: A redhead wearing only a shirt and vest, walking in the heavy snow, followed by a small figure wrapped in a big black coat, which does not seem too inappropriate considered you are in Dragonspine, one of the most mysterious regions in Teyvat.

Fortunately, you two successfully end up arriving in front of the statue of the seven, and the last obstacle is a layer of ancient rime piled up at the bottom. You are just about to clear it with your normal attack as usual, but before you can do it, Diluc stops you, "Wait."

"You need to have the scarlet quartz to clear them." He explains, "The subzero climate here in Dragonspine makes normal attacks useless, even with pyro elemental infusion."

"I see…" You look around, trying to find the redness in the surrounding, "There it is!"

A minute later, you come back with the effect of scarlet quartz. The rime was successfully cleared away by your charged attack. The red glowing statue makes the surroundings extremely warm. You look up at the anemo archon, memories flooding back into your mind. Venti, Dvalin, the Holy Lyre, Stormterror’s Lair, Jean, and Diluc, who is standing right behind you at this moment…

You close your eyes and stretch out your hand, the last statue of the seven in the Mondstadt area will be lightened up soon—

...

Nothing happened?

You open your eyes, confused. Normally the statue should have been lit by your touch, yet it is still glowing red at this time. You also can't feel the anemo element at all...

"As what I expected…" Diluc sighs, and you turn to face him, "It’s probably because I am here. I think that our humble anemo archon can't tolerate other people disturbing you."

"What? No, it shouldn’t, it can’t be…" You stand there helplessly, with your hand still on the statue. After months, you are finally here, and the journey to here with the accompany of Diluc is an absolute treasure to you. And now everything will go wasted?

You feel like your tears are about to fall, "…I need to go back to square one and do everything all over again…?"

"No." Diluc says, "You have already reached this point successfully, there is no need to start over."

Through the flying snowflakes, you can still clearly see him. His eyes are soft, he is smiling at you…

The snow seems to become heavy again. Diluc’s red hairs are flying in the cold wind. You are trembling slightly, but your feet can’t move as if they have rooted in the ground. You can only stand there, letting a thin layer of wind and snow separate you and him.

"I believe you can do well on your own from now on." Diluc continues, his crimson eyes met yours, and he smiles again, obvious enough for you to see it clearly, "Today's journey was quite delightful, traveler."

"Wait, Di—" You shout his name, but is blinded by the sudden strong wind. However, after only a few seconds, the wind stops, and you are facing an empty space, just like nobody was there before.

You look around anxiously, but you can’t feel any other human being. At the same time, the statue emits a dazzling blue light. The anemo element pours into your palm. You look up at this last statue in Mondstadt, but without any excitement and joy as you have imagined.

You sit down leaning against the statue and letting the wind whistling in your ears. Diluc's sudden departure gave you a feeling of waking up from a dream. However, the aroma lingering around reminds you that what happened today was not a dream. You look down at the black coat you are still wearing, those luxurious golden patterns are slightly deformed in your hands.

You didn’t even get a chance to say thank you...

Suddenly, you no longer have any interest in staying in Dragonspine, at least for today. You open the map, and in the next second you are standing under the identical statue, but at Dawn Winery.

Night has fallen. The wind gently blows your hair. Unlike the ones in Dragonspine, it feels warm.

You take off the coat and hold it in your hand, start walking towards the winery. You mind hasn’t come back yet, but your legs just automatically bring you right to the front of the manor.

"Welcome back, Miss." As soon as you enter the main entrance, you are greeted by Adelinde. Her eyes then fall on the thing in your hand, and she smiles, "Looks like you finally met Master Diluc today."

"Well, that’s true..." You reply in a low voice. You are embarrassed. During all this time, Adelinde has not only allowed you to live here, but she would even prepare the breakfast for you, send you out every morning, and welcome you back in the evening. Obviously, her attitude towards you is no longer as simple as a "guest".

You want to give the coat to the head housemaid, but she says that you can put it directly in Diluc's room.

Your eyes widen in surprise. Although you two have already known each other very well, and you have lived here for so long, you are still, well, a guest, after all. It is definitely not appropriate to go directly into the room of the master.

"Master ordered a long time ago that you, Miss, is allowed to enter any room in the winery."

Well then in that case…

Diluc's room is next to his study on the second floor. You have passed by countless times, but now you are a little nervous about going in. After a moment of hesitation, you carefully open the door.

The lights in the room have already been turned on. In addition to that comfortable king-size bed, there is also a desk that is similar to his study but without many things on top, surrounded by tall bookshelves. The curtains are half drawn, and the night outside could be seen. The luxurious furnishing of the room resembles the entire manor, but you can see the owner reserved a style exclusive for himself. A few wax-sealed letters are sitting on the desk, waiting to be mailed. You stare at Diluc's beautiful handwriting, an image of him sitting there and signing his name appears in front of you. Gosh, he must be as elegant as usual…

After looking around the room, you realize that there is only one place to leave his coat without opening the closet. You approach the bed, hands resting on those soft sheets. You don’t know if you are just tired or still too excited from having a trip with Diluc, but ever since you entered his room, there has been a warmth surrounding you, which is the same feeling he gave you when you were in Dragonspine today. It feels like he is still with you…

And he would sleep on this bed…by himself, after calling a day.

You swiftly cover your burning cheeks, "Stop! What the hell am I thinking?"

However……

Looking at those neat beddings, a sadness comes into you. On top of running a huge business that brings so much work and responsibilities, Diluc is only a young man who is not even older than you. How many nights can he sleep on this bed without being exhausted or stressed out…?

It is already very late, and he hasn't come back yet. Seems like the darknight hero is working hard again. Your feel like your eyelids are becoming heavier and heavier, and your mind is full of the redhead when your eyes are shut completely…

You don’t know how long it has passed, but you smell the aroma of grapes and firewood again. It is so close to you, and you can’t help but want to get closer, and closer... You feel like you have returned to Dragonspine, with Diluc is standing in front of you. Snowflakes are flying around, but it is not cold at all, it is warm, as if you two are the only light in the snow.

"Just…call me Diluc is fine."

You know you are dreaming, but his voice, and his eyes looking at you, are still so realistic and gentle. Your feelings flood out of your heart like a tide, and you can’t hold them back anymore—

It is very late.

Right after the clock strikes the third time, the door of the manor is opened and closed silently. The darknight hero rests wearily against the wall for a while, and then he slowly goes upstairs.

When Diluc enters the room, the first thing he sees is you, who is sleeping soundly against the bed while still holding the coat for dear life. He is startled, but then quietly comes to your side.

The redhead chuckles silently, observing your sleeping face lovingly. If ever you are awake, you would definitely suspect that the Diluc in front of you is a counterfeit as he would never make a face like this.

Diluc takes off his gloves, carefully pulls out the crumpled coat in your arms, then gently carries you and puts you into his own bed. You are asleep during the whole process, completely unaware of what is happening.

The moonlight shines through the gap in the curtains and falls on the two of you. Diluc, who is now supposed to take a shower and rest, sits down on the edge of the bed and looks at you without a word.

The Honorary Knight of the Knights of Favonius is now active in Liyue. Such a well-known fact can no longer be a part of his “intelligence network”.

He knows, as a traveler, you will never stop your journey until you reach the final destination and find your sibling. You will not stay in one place because of a person, an event, or a difficult task. Diluc himself had the same type of goal as you, and had traveled all over the seven nations alone, so he naturally understands your convictions and perseverance better than anyone else.

But it is precisely this kind of him, who has always been walking alone in the darkness, that he has unknowingly gotten used to and fell in love with the feeling of having you by his side. Only after you left Mondstadt, Diluc realized that even the most ordinary things, like seeing you around or saying goodbye to you, could make him miss you. Before being totally aware of the reason behind it, he had already started to take the initiative to obtain your information and your daily commissions.

Of course, that was very easy for him to do. But over time, this feeling of him, so called "missing you", gradually became a little more different than what he expected, and he couldn’t really tell what it is.

But it feels just like those few sporadic fire lights in the cold and heavy snow, which look so insignificant considering those random fire sources in the entire Dragonspine. However, the scorching heat those fire brought could not be ignored.

Because it is the heat that can make people alive. It is the warmth that he would love to approach and embrace. It is the light that he has been fighting to reach.

He wants to see you. He is going to see you.

Clouds are covering the moon. Diluc continues fixing his gaze on your face. His eyes are flickering slightly in the darkness. He can’t help but to get closer to you—

"…hm……"

Your suddenly let out a light hum. Diluc’s hand stops in mid-air instantly, fingertips are only half an inch away from your face, but you don’t seem to be bothered by anything and just move your body a bit, still asleep. Some vague syllables are coming out from your parted lips, but for some reason, it seemed like you are really trying to speak properly.

Diluc leans down to you, trying to hear your little sleep talks—

"...Diluc..."

Your voice is like a whisper, yet the pronunciation is so clear and accurate that it doesn't seem to be any kind of sleep talks.

Diluc’s eyes widen slightly, obviously in shock. He stares at you as if he is going to drill a hole on your face. He was not expecting you would say his name, and finally, without the title.

Meanwhile, clouds fades away in the exact right timing. Your cheeks are pink under the moonlight, but there is still no sign of you waking up.

......

"Yes."

Although Diluc knows you can’t hear him, he still responds in his most soft voice ever.

"Diluc..."

"Yes, I'm here."

His hand moves again. He strokes your cheek, eyes full of affection for you.

"......"

You unconsciously rub your chin against his skin, pressing your lips against his wrist.

"I…love you."

"......!"

Diluc looks at you in disbelief, feeling his whole body starts to tremble. Your warm breath sprayed on his skin reminds him that you did actually say that.

At this moment, all of his feelings in his heart are transformed into the same feeling that you have towards him. How silly of him kept telling himself that he was “missing you”, but it has been completely different since archon knows how long ago. The throbbing emotions in his chest seemed to have thawed the ice surrounds his heart, and that heat and love is spread all over his body.

"I love...Diluc..."

Your voice fades, and you fall into a deep sleep again after a while, but the redhead in front of you is surely not able to fall asleep today, in any case.

While attempting to control the heart that is about to jump out of his chest, Diluc kisses your forehead, this time, without any hesitation.

"Me too."

The moon is once again covered by clouds, but the light that can penetrate the coldness and illuminate the night will never disappear again.

The end.

——————————❄️———————————

「Snow Light」

—— Diluc Ragnvindr (CV: Kensho Ono)

Disclaimer: This translation is credited to this blog. I made adjustments based on my own understanding of the Japanese language, and I tried to make the lyrics sound more colloquial and complete.

The townscape of where you live is on the other side of the blurry window. It is flickering in seven colors. It is sparkling hazily.

Every time when I run in a hurry, chilled to the bone, I always want to hug you tightly.

Snow light, snow breath, snow flakes...

Right now, like that snow, my feelings towards you cannot be hidden.

They are falling and piling up for you, in a sparkling white.

It is only to you whom I want to give warmth. I want to hold you more than anything else.

Imagine us sitting close together, smiling, and I'm taking you by the hand…

I won’t let you go, I want to protect you. This brand new feeling is gradually growing upon me.

You are purely white. You are just my Snow Light.

Where you are you right now? What are the scenery in your eyes?

I wish to know more. This is the first time I’m having this thought.

My monochrome world is being repainted by you. That is like a miracle.

Snow shade, snow drop, snow dome...

Even if like that snow being melted away right now, this feeling of me will never disappear.

I just want to tell you, I’m always missing you.

Imagine us sitting close together, bashfully, I'm ascertaining your existence with my hand, while we staring at each other with sincere eyes.

I won’t let you go, my heart won’t change. My feelings toward you are never enough.

It is falling and piling up non stop, you’re just my Snow Light.

Although I can’t shine as beautifully as you, if I could become your light, that alone would make me able to overcome everything.

No matter how long the night is, I will never let you feel cold.

Surely tomorrow there will be a silvery morning light. It will be dazzling, it will be lovely...

It is only to you whom I want to give warmth. I want to hold you more than anything else.

Imagine, us sitting close together, smiling, and I'm taking you by the hand…

I won’t let you go, I want to protect you. This brand new feeling gradually growing upon me.

You are purely white. You are my Snow Light

Forever, you are just my Snow Light.

Thank you for reading.

[heliza24]

So I always tell people that a lot of season 2 of Young Royals didn’t surprise me at all, because @bluedalahorse predicted so much of it before it happened (especially the August and Sara stuff) but tonight I was organizing our shared Google drive and I found proof of her psychic abilities. She made a detailed prediction spreadsheet in DECEMBER 2021 organized by likeliness and I would like to share some of her greatest hits with you now. (Also her ranking of likeliness and how much she would enjoy each prediction coming true is very funny).

We did indeed start at the palace! And although Kristina only tries to pull him after he returns to Hillerska and spends a little time there, the spirit of this is Very Correct

And Wilhelm did indeed sweat it out!

Ok so the reason Sara and Simon are fighting is wrong but the theme is correct, and also not the Felice/Wilhelm fake dating!!! I remember thinking that this was so far fetched but it was in fact! Not!

God fucking dammit August! 😂😂😂

Here she is nailing the entire Sara/August arc

More Sara and August accuracy sandwiching something we didn’t get but I still kind of hope that we do. (She didn’t get that August was going to be bumped up so specifically in the line of succession but this feels pretty close)

And this one made me scream!!!

Ok, that’s all. Blue thinks her predictive ability for season 3 is going to be less accurate than for season 2 but I still have faith.

[taekooktimeline]

September 11, 2023 (released):

Tae appears on Yoongi’s show “Suchwita.” They mention at the start of the show they’re meeting members for dinner later that same evening, and Yoongi says they’ll need to congratulate Jungkook (“Seven has achieved so much success. I’m so proud of Jk!). Tae gives a verbal congratulatory shoutout-

Timestamp 18:01 or 

https://x.com/kookvtwins/status/1701225201889931331?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

Yoongi mentions when he thinks of Tae, he thinks of their 2018 Fake Love era. Tae admits this was the toughest time in his life.

Remember, “Fake Love” derived during the time members were exhausted, while simultaneously their careers were going to a new, higher level.

Suchwita flashes back to MAMA 2018, when an emotional BTS told the audience they had considered disbanding. This video is significant, both for fans and Taekook. It captures a vulnerable moment of the duo in public that hasn’t been shown before by BH official cameras. The video shows Taekook having an emotional moment together, when they hugged and made a huge statement. It’s honestly surprising to me that BH agreed to show this, and raises questions on how they acceded to broadcast it, and whether Yoongi had a hand in it, given that he specifically mentioned Tae and Jk together. This moment was significant, as Yoongi mentioned Tae and Jk went through a difficult phase, and the video shows them together during this time (the screenshot where Yoongi mentions they were together is included below).

Every time I watch this clip I get emotional, thinking of all the hardships and hurdles BTS had to go through and, specifically, my biases.

As an aside, in the BB of this award show, after their emotional speeches, BTS were interviewed backstage. Tae was working on gathering his thoughts to talk to the camera. Jk quickly looks to the cameras before glancing back at Tae to flash the ILY sign, encouraging him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wkv2zRPef8E, timestamp 20:56 or https://x.com/kakostel/status/1701712695664255216?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg 

Recap of MAMA 2018 - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2018/625027177926230016/december-14-2018 

We’ve seen repeated instances of them utilizing the gesture as a means to encourage the other. You can find a brief summary here of various times they’ve utilized the ILY or sign language with each other - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2021/665338207021449216/october-2-2021-continued 

In February 2018, the members had taken a long vacation to consider the future of BTS. Members found this trip to be healing.

And they had reflected on this trip during Festa. A brief synopsis -

February 2018 recap of trip - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2018/634616819634880512

March 2018 recap of trip - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2018/625074896359292928/late-march-early-april-2018

Festa 2018 raw link -  https://youtu.be/K4Melso7MPU?si=buEHnYcBOMMIA31_ 

BTS also reflected on 2018 throughout their “Break the Silence” docu-series (filmed in November 2019). Jungkook reminisced about BTS giving each other strength, despite their individual emotional scars, coming together to talk and support one another.

Jk discussing them supporting each other recap may be found here - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2020/625387952489496577/may-26-2020 

BTS also discussed this time in their career during Festa 2020, which you can read a recap of here - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2020/640118082405384192/also-on-that-day-9th-of-april-2020 

Festa 2020 raw link - https://youtu.be/t9zPnWQIiuw?si=A1J3gAQSk5RVMfzj 

In the present on Suchwita, Tae reflects on that difficult time period. While they were achieving so much, they were all physically and mentally burnt out. Heartbreakingly, Tae admits he was so drained and exhausted that he contemplated ways to hurt himself to get much needed rest.

https://x.com/r_taekook22/status/1701229627010629953?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

We know both Tae and Jungkook struggled heavily during this time. Both reflected on 2018 in “Break the Silence.” Until the Love Yourself tour, Tae admitted that was struggling with his emotions and shutting down.

Break the silence, ep 4 recap - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2020/625388030307467264/may-19-2020 

In episode 5, Jungkook expressed some of his worries, one being that people only love his stage persona as the golden maknae.

Break the Silence, ep 5 recap - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2020/625388016975970304/taekooktimeline-may-21-2020-break-the-silence 

This made me think of his London live (July 2023), when talking about the explicit version of “Seven,” Jungkook again cited his golden maknae image.

Recap of Jk’s London live (July 22, 2023): https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline/723765181171302400/july-22-2023-jungkook-goes-live-in-london-hes 

I also want to note in one of the final episodes of the docu series, approximately 21 months since the disbandment talks, we see BTS has come to a place of acceptance, stating that they recognize that one day it will be inevitable to let the band go, whether by choice or not. They expressed hope that, when that time comes, they have no regrets and it’s a soft landing, not a crash.

Break the silence, ep 6 recap - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2020/625387952489496577/may-26-2020 

Yoongi and Tae disclose “Fake Love” almost didn’t come out, and reaffirm that “Tear” has a second layer to it, with it seemingly being about lovers breaking up, but in reality being a message to members considering disbanding.

As the rap line wrote “Tear,” Yoongi sent a letter to Tae and Jungkook (which makes Tae shy as he

The song “Tear” was previously discussed in “Break The Silence” episode 6 (aired in 2020).

The letter that Yoongi is referring to in Suchwita was previously revealed during Festa 2018. Tae shared that Yoongi wrote a letter that made him cry, ending it with, “I love you.”

Yoongi revealed he wrote the letter to two people (one being Tae)

Jungkook disclosed the second person to receive Yoongi’s letter was him.

BTS also brought up Yoongi’s letters to Taekook on April 15, 2018 (filmed), during their Harajuku Sweets Party. Tae reiterates the letter made him emotional. Members tease perhaps Taekook were beside each other when they read their letters.

Recap of Harajuku Sweets  - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2018/625074488032280576

Comprehensive recap of some of the disbandment talk moments in 2018 (which includes Jk covering “all my life,” the song “Tear,” the song “Fake Love,” Yoongi’s letter, Festa 2020 and Break the Silence snippets  - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2018/635128353110769664/february-27-2018 

Raw of Harajuku Sweets - https://youtu.be/03ngJ4oW7SQ?si=dao9sFCkdwWCGTpt 

Yoongi asks Tae about that letter he sent to them back in 2018, when BTS considered disbanding.

Tae recalls how the letters gave both him and Jungkook the strength to continue, to think more positively.

https://x.com/mybwits/status/1701238438584852631?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

Tae tells Yoongi the letter helped him, and he’s not felt so down since then.

Tae said something similar in the “Break the Silence” docu series, when he said the Love Yourself world tour was a turning point, and seeing members happy made him happy.

Again, recaps can be found here - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2018/635128353110769664/february-27-2018 or here - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2020/625388030307467264/may-19-2020 

Tae’s message to his 2018 self -

Timestamp 24:03-31:09

A lot happened in 2018, so while I’d change the wording on some of the posts, I’d encourage you to review the year in its entirety to see everything that was happening, and how much pressure the members were under. Recap - https://taekooktimeline2018.tumblr.com/ 

While it’s quite clear all members struggled, I still believe Tae and Jk were at least two members who were contemplating disbandment, based on them receiving letters from Yoongi, Tae admitting to emotionally closing down and Jungkook shutting down (as expressed by Joon and Jin in Festa 2020). While all members were emotional during the disbandment talk during MAMA 2020, Tae was especially emotional, so  much so that he was still gathering his thoughts during their backstage interview (when Jk flashed him the ILY sign). But of course, this is my opinion, and I’ve left references as to why I believe as I do, but you’re welcome to disagree. 

At the very end of the episode, Yoongi admits 90% of In The Soop was cut, which makes Tae laugh in agreement. This is another instance where I’m going to reiterate we only see a fraction of their lives, and people shouldn’t place weight heavily on things like social media interactions.

Raw of Suchwita - https://youtu.be/M6wpkLCiHoI?si=S3RJ70XzrFzIivm1

[isleofair]

Tiger & Bunny Week Day 2

Tiger & Bunny First Series Anniversary

(allowing for airtime shenanigans lol)

I can't quite put together a full review, but I want to list some moments in Season 1 that I found striking/intriguing/wonderful/thought-provoking when watching it for the very first time (around the end of December 2021):

1 - The princess carry

I said I started watching T&B at the end of 2021, but I had actually been distantly aware of its existence well before that, for a reason I find extremely amusing: I had seen Taibani BL doujinshi while browsing for doujinshi of other anime shows 😂. My vague impression, based solely on the name of the show and the cover art of said doujinshi, was that "Tiger and Bunny" were something like two detective partners... and that the original series was explicitly a yaoi one, because, come on, surely you wouldn't name your characters Tiger and Bunny otherwise, right?!?

I knew by the time I clicked play on Netflix that that last bit was wrong. The princess carry told me that I was not that far off, though, either. 😜

2 - The reveal that The King of Heroes is actually a massive dork

You kind of catch glimpses of it in the previous episodes, but I sort of dismissed them as "eh, it's his over-constructed Hero TV persona, this guy is the King of Heroes, after all, he must have all of his ducks in a row".

But in the very first episode we see him out of the suit, we find out that Keith is, if anything, even more of an overeager puppy when he's not on the clock as Sky High, and this made me fully realize what a rich world of characters I had landed in (and made Keith start to rise very fast in my personal preference ranking of all the heroes).

3 - Barnaby's fear (?) of fire

This one was, to me, a missed opportunity for what could have been an even deeper look into Barnaby's character.

Barnaby here says he "hates" fire (火が嫌いです). From his expression, and the flashback that follows, I think it would be fair to assume that fire makes him at the very least uncomfortable, if not downright afraid. And Barnaby has both and enemy and an ally who have fire as their power, as evidenced specifically in this episode, so I was expecting that to be addressed... but nothing specific ever came of it.

It's true that Barnaby in this first half of S1 is very cool and collected at all times, but finding out if and how his feelings about fire color his perception of and interactions with Nathan and Lunatic would have been extremely fascinating, IMHO. (Even just an explicit acknowledgment of the fact that he doesn't let it influence his relationship with those two characters in the least would have been interesting, and added to his characterization in some small way.)

4 - Episode 17 ("Blood Is Thicker Than Water.")

Definitely one of my very favorite episodes overall (which means a lot, considering it doesn't feature Nathan, or even Keith, for one single second, lol).

We learn so much about Kotetsu, his family, his history; at one of his lowest points, he manages to shine when it matters the most, where no one can see him, but the thing he cherishes most in the world, Kaede, is at stake. And the thing that struck me the most is that he saves her by completely subverting the way we've always seen him apply his power to being a hero: by being still and quiet and attentive, instead of strong, rash, loud. And then he doesn't even need his power to finish rescuing Kaede, to be her hero; just a good old jolt of parent-with-a-kid-in-danger adrenaline.

It's a really fantastic episode.

5 - The ending of episode 24, and the title of episode 25 ("Eternal Immortality.")

(And I don't just mean the whole "gosh, the fried rice thing was pretty gay, but the eyelash comment was REALLY gay, huh?" stuff, lol.)

See, when I watched this, I already knew that season 2 was coming up, so I should have logically assumed they would not kill off their main character here... But I was way too caught up in the story and way too distraught to remember any sort of logic, and I was staring at my screen like "surely they wouldn't... right? RIGHT?!? 😥"

And then I remembered that oh! The last episode is called "Eternal immortality"! It's the only one with a title that doesn't fit the proverb scheme! It must be very significant!

And so I was fully convinced, for the, oh, 10 minutes between here and the moment Kotetsu stands back up in the last episode and explains he had just simply passed out, that he had indeed died, or about as close to is as to not make a difference, and that his Hundred Power, after diminishing, would actually fade completely right there and then and turn into a different power, that would grant him infinite regeneration (see: him healing himself with Hundred Power in episode 13), and thus, essentially, eternal immortality.

Hey, it would have been pretty cool.

(the prompts!)

[cosmicchats]

July 22nd: Venus Rx in Leo

Posted on 07/11/23 @ 12:

Venus Rx will begin on July 22nd @ 28° (Cancer degree), emphasizing the contemplative period we are beginning. You may feel a little defensive right now, and trying to protect yourself. Do not hide from conflict, face it head on and fight. During this transit it is essential for you to practice discernment between what is happening in the material world and your feelings. Although relationships will change, it’s important to know which ones are worth keeping, and which ones have run their course. What lessons have you learned? Think about who you were and what you were doing during the last Venus Rx in Capricorn during December 19, 2021- January 29, 2022.

If you are a Leo rising, this Venus Rx is happening in your 1H (I am), dealing with your identity, the image you project, and outlook. Is the way you project yourself aligned with your values? You as a person are about to change.

Wherever Leo sits in your chart will be highlighted during this Venus Rx. Look below to see which house Leo sits in your chart based on your rising sign and what themes may come up during this transit.

Leo in your chart

Aries Rising: 5th House; I serve (personal creativity) 

-For Aries rising, I see this Venus Rx shaking up how you express yourself. With Venus being in Leo, I think many of you will be taking the initiatives that put you center stage in your life. This will be a time where you reflect over your values in and how you express yourself. Romance may be in the air for meaning of you as well. Since 5H deals with fertility, children= Leo=vitality, if you do not want to get pregnant make sure you are taking all precautions.

Taurus Rising: 4th House; I nurture

-Changes to your home life are arriving. Home in the literal sense like where you live and also home as in your roots. You maybe moving or re-decorating your home. You may reconnect with family (your foundation), and reflect over how you want to take action in how you nurture yourself specifically.

Gemini Rising: 3rd House; I think

-Your mind and thinking process will be changing during this transit. The Rx will cause you to reflect over how you communicate with others and whether or not you find it useful and productive. Test (conflict) may arise calling on you to address confrontation in your social settings and activities. Remember, you don’t have to engage. If you do engage, think before you speak. Mercury will have entered Leo on July 11th, increasing heated conversations. How can you communicate your values to people? What boundaries will you enforce?

Cancer Rising: 2nd House; I have

-Material possessions (cash/commodities/work) will be a focal for you this transit. Where do your values align and are you living that value? What new steps do you need to make? This is the time to be patient, reflect, and be open to reassessing what you are seeking to have. You may change jobs or have change in your income. Changes to your daily habits are expected to take place as well. Adjustments to your daily habit that center you and your priorities.

Virgo Rising: 12 House; I dream

- Ex’s may appear in your dreams during this transit or be on your mind (subconscious). Do not think that an ex appearing in your dream means you miss them. You may be processing how things ended. They may also be thinking about you. You could be officially ending cycles and relationships. Childhood triggers of not having control may arise. Pay attention to your dreams during this transit because you will learn more about yourself. Write down your dreams to help you look at possible patterns or themes occurring.

Libra Rising: 11th House; I aspire

- Are you starting a new venture? Or trying to stabilize a current project? Who are the people you have in your corner supporting you? Tap in to the people who you trust, and support you during this transit. You may be thinking about the future during this transit. Also pay attention to any possible technology issues that may arise. 

Scorpio Rising: 10th House; I achieve

- You are thinking about your future and legacy you want to have. What steps do you need to take? Thoughts about your reputation are likely to come to the forefront. New career or job offers. If it’s not an immediate, YES, then its a no, and that is okay. 

Sagittarius Rising: 9th House; I explore

-You may be exploring feelings related to your inner child. Many of you may meet a new person while traveling abroad, or in higher education. Pay attention to any flags, now is not the time to ignore them. This Venus Rx will transform your philosophy. Leave you with different values and wisdom. Some of you may be exploring religion or reflecting the way religion has impacted you. 

Capricorn Rising: 8th House; I circulate

-As a Saturn ruled placement, you often face many restrictions. You may feel like you are held to a higher standard than others. During this transits, people who have wronged you may come back. You could inherit energy from other people so make sure you step up your spiritual protection. Debts are being paid.

Aquarius Rising: 7th House; I partner

-Big changes to your relationships. If you are in a relationship, check in with your partner. Are your values aligned? The word relationship is not limited to romantic ones either. How are you caring for yourself during this time. This Venus Rx in Leo wants you to think about how your relationships make you feel and benefit you. Do you feel supported by your partner or other interpersonal relationships. Are your relationships helping you grow as a person? 

Pisces Rising: 6th House; I serve (daily life/others)

-Check in with your health. Your vitality is being highlighted during this transit. What care are you in need of? Changes to appearance based on your overall health could take place. You are more analytical about subjects of the heart, and work ethic (habits). What habits do you need to keep or let go? On the body, Leo represents the heart so make sure you monitor your heart health during this time.  

[swansstuff]

Uhhhh

OK so I haven't posted a chapter of my fic for a while so have some ramblings about fankids (anyone remember those fandom trends?) and other silliness <3 some I have thought about more than others but enjoy a tasty little morsel until I can actually produce something of substance lmao

Steph and Pete: get engaged when they graduate college in 2023. Get married when they both have steady income in 2026. Have Owen in October 2029. Have Amy in December 2034. Owen starts highschool in 2044. Amy skips 4th grade, starts highschool in 2047.

Pete: becomes a highschool physics teacher at hfh. Grows a moustache, sometimes double takes that he looks like Ted in the mirror. Takes Steph’s name.

Steph: becomes a 3rd grade teacher.

Owen: got the combo of autism and adhd, thanks mom and dad, had a 1:1 in elementary school (Mrs Keane). Art kid. May or may not be in love with his best friend (Will Green). Could be mistaken for Pete on a bad hair day. Inherited the Spankoffski family watch. Favourite colour is blue.

Amy: only got the autism but it's the freaky smart kind. Loves space, obsessed with planets. Probably also in love with her best friend (Elsie Chasity). Absolutely knows more than she should about the LiBs. Favourite colour is yellow.

Skrzynka: (Box in Polish) this fucked up, mixed breed cat that wandered into their backyard at some point. May or may not be a Tinky vessel

Grace and Ruth: get engaged in 2024. Get married in 2026. Have Joseph in 2031. Have Elsie in 2034. Have Abe in 2038.

Grace: criminal psychologist. (Major true crime fan)

Ruth: musical writer and director.

Joseph: quiet nerd kid, but has the same weird, threatening aura as Grace does. Into some real left field shit. Will debate the extended family on religion, one of those smarmy reddit atheists.

Elsie: non-verbal until like 7, Amy helped her communicate at school. Autism. Gentle, sweetheart. Creative girly, into her art, will forget to move until her piece is done.

Abe: nightmare toddler, Grace and Ruth regret having a third. Hair untamable.

Watson: ratty ass Irish wolfhound. Ruth had her childhood dog called Sherlock who passed so decided to get a puppy when Joseph was 3. They are inseperable.

Max and Richie: get engaged in 2024. Get married in 2028 once Max's dad finally fucking dies. Have Marie in 2033.

Richie: film critic (specifically horror movies)

Max: park ranger and highschool football coach

Marie: her middle name is Asuka, Richie had to be restrained and this was the compromise. She fucking hates this. Mini goth kid but also quite athletic, more into running than football. Did not inherit Richie's asthma but did inherit his insomnia.

Totoro: Named by Richie. Marie calls him Toto. Golden retriever.

Oscar: Named by Max. German Shepherd.

Suzie: Named by Marie after Suzie and the banshees. Rescue.

Lex and Ethan: get engaged in 2021, get married in 2026 once everything settles down. Have William in 2029.

Lex: actor at the Starlight

Ethan: runs his dad's garage

William: Will. Sort of takes after his dad, perceived as a bad kid but just likes sticking up for people. Quite creative as well, but more on the music side. Plays the piano and the violin, doesn't own either but plays at the highschool. Also very much in love with his best friend. Also raging adhd.

Hannah and Daniel: get married in 2040, have Meghan in 2043.

Hannah: guidance councillor

Daniel: ccrp worker

Meghan: can speak, doesn't until she's about 5. Her first word is Webby. This doesn't worry anyone at all. She may genuinely be a Webby conduit.

Emma and Paul: get married in 2022, have the twins in 2024. Have Jane in 2029.

Paul: this poor man will be with ccrp until the day he dies

Emma: "plant biologist"

Henry: yes he was named after hidgens. like a slightly more outgoing Paul, does end up working at Beanie's during his highschool years. Bit of a nerd for sci-fi thrillers. Has strong opinions on Working Boys.

Penny: named after Richie’s late mom, ie Paul's older sister. Manic anxious energy, doing everything all of the time, bit like cousin Tim. Has a Ted like sense of humor, Paul regrets letting him babysit.

Jane: named after Emma's older sister. Couldn't be more different. Absolute mess, reminds Emma of a younger her. Persued musical theatre in highschool and drove Paul fucking nuts.

[murdrdocs]

i need advice on how to grow with my writing on here because i feel like no one wants to read my work :,(

- 🔮

okay first thing, it's all abt appearance. i will read a fic that has a good format before i read one that doesn't (look at @aweina's formatting for example its so pleasing on the eyes omg). so as for getting people to read it, just format it clearly. also make sure you're tagging specifically but not obnoxiously (i personally hate when ppl clog tags ? like if it's a mike fic dont tag vanessa and vice versa).

and i have a couple of posts abt advice for writing in general! i've said it once, and i'll say it again: the biggest tip i can give at any time is legit just to write. even if its shitty, just write for the hell of it. think of it like running? you'll only get better at running if you run, even if it's a hard run and you feel like shit and like you're not making any progress. you are.

and eventually, someone will reblog it (they should ... reblog things ppl) and that helps with your exposure! but trust me, someone out there will want to read it. for example, i write some weird shit that i feel like ppl wont like and then they do ?? for some reason ?? and sometimes i write sickly sweet fluff and i feel like since my audience is mostly smut ppl won't read it but they do! so there's always gonna be an audience out there you just have to trust that they'll find it !!

advice post 1 advice post 2

edit: also!! i didn't plan for my page to get this big or anything it just happened solely bc i hop between fandoms when its hot and that's also not on purpose so dont force it !! you'll build a community that u like with time :)

(remember i started this blog december of 2021 i think ?? so this is 2 yrs and many fandoms of progress)

[spilledmilkfkdies]

duman vs kalshare

This one goes out to the people who weren't there during the great YouTube comment battle, allow me to set the stage for you:

All the way back in December of 2021 I was just existing on YT, looking at a couple videos, whatever- When suddenly, in a random comment section I came across the question that started it all. If Duman and Kalshara were to fight, who would win? And because I was about as normal as I am now, very extremely normal, I just. Jumped in there. Which I actually don't do, usually. Commenting stresses me out and ''arguments'' even more so.

I said Duman would win ofc. No surprises there. Now I will admit I literally just went "Duman." and dipped, I was satisfied with that at the time. I think a couple of people did the same thing, actually? Just a short chain of "Duman", it was kinda funny. Then the person started their defense, something along the lines of: "Kalshare has fairy magic and wild magic, that's more than Duman." And I'm not 100% proud of this response, but basically I just went "nuh uh"?? Like yeah it's more in the sense that. Those are two things. But is it more in terms of strength? 2021 me didn't think so. And lowkey I still don't.

Is it my bias against season 7? Maybe.

But did Kalshara still have her fairy powers when she went full wild magic? Idk!! If she did, she'd still wouldn't have finished/graduated fairy school?? I'd argue still being part fairy would put her at more of a disadvantage tbh, because y'know. Trained fairy hunter who is immune to fairy magic. Which is a point that was brought up to the commenter, Duman can't be hurt by 'lesser fairy magic', as mean as that might sound. The Winx themselves needed a specific transformation to start doing damage to the Black Circle, ignoring how some people feel about that, it was a thing. We told them that. Kalshara isn't a Believix fairy so her being a fairy would not help.

Besties. When I tell you their response will be engraved into my mind forever. "We never saw her transform so we don't know if she is." SORRY lemme just-

I don't even feel like explaining why that's a deranged take, so I'm not gonna. I'll just move on to my next point.

This might be because I don't really respect wild magic as a whole, but what it looks like is just. Transforming into animals and creatures. Which? Slay ig. But it seems that's where the limit is. Animals and creatures. Duman is shown to also be able to transform into people and fucking WATER on top of animal and creatures. It's his preference rather than his limit. We don't really know where his actual limit is and S4 didn't bother giving a clear answer. Just kinda killed him off. That whole thing also vague in the show.

Anyway, we went back and forth for a bit, didn't come to an agreement or anything whatever. I ended up finding this person in other comment sections after this as well! Asking the same question. One comment section being. My own. Under my Duman VA video. I think the original comment section was blocked because the video got marked as for kids, but I may have some screenshots laying around that I'll add in a reblog if I find them. I do have this response to one of her comments that I decided not to interact with:

Because spoken like an individual that doesn't value their two turtles.

Remember besties, one of these villains had to be DESTROYED, the other fell down a hole, was declared dead and never seen again. Things to think about. I know I think about it. Sometimes. Because I'm normal.

[frobinfandays]

The voting is over!

A huge thank you for everyone who 1) sent in suggestions for the themes and also for 2) voting. A total of 34 votes!!

Another special thank you to everyone who answered why they ship FRobin! It's always good to remember why we all love this ship so much!

Another shoutout to @pokeharvest for creating the graphics!

Keep your eyes open for the themes!

Why do you ship FRobin?

"your existence is not a sin" and he won my and Robin's heart 🤌

it started in december 2021 as a joke with my bf who wanted zoro to be with robin and when I saw that scene in Water 7/Enies Lobby of them on the sea train I was like "honey I tell you Robin would choose to fuck that guy over zoro any day" and then we both noticed how much chemistry they both actually had. At some point we were both looking at each other and the tv back and forth being like "did you fucking see that" and I literally squaked when the CBT scene happened. So yeah I started shipping them to annoy my bf and I got really hooked by them because of their chemistry, the way they are pretty much opposites personality-wise but share a pretty specific experience to bond deeply, the way Franky reminds Robin of Saul with his words and actions and how that makes her reflect on her life and think of him as a treasure, how they both relate to the other strawhats as their parents, how they know each other so well they can basically predict what the other one is going to say, how he's always close to her and they're both the first ones to protect each other, how even the animators in TOEI ship them so much that they add in little scenes to make situations a bit more romantic (also! knowing that Oda did personally add things in the anime that were not in the manga because he didn't have time or because he forgot makes me wonder how much of those anime frobin scenes were just TOEI animators being silly and goofy or Oda being like "yeah I do kinda like a little romance"), and the way they feel so, so real. I just love them so much -I'm pretty obsessed ngl- and it is a ship that brings me so much joy. also I love frobin because they're basically canon but not technically so yeah I can actually win silly debates online and feel like the best of the worst type of people online lol

Because they are super!

They understand each other on a level no one else does and Franky didn't hesitate to say that she deserves to live during the sea train arc

They are perfect

It's more of a causal thing. I love the content that other creators make of this ship, some of is so cute and soft that how can you NOT like it? Plus Nico Robin deserves to have good things in her life.

Honestly I just love them. I fell out of love with One Piece but they keep me coming back. They're wholesome and good and bonkers and amazing. Overall completely underappreciated!

I love the smart goofball and smart goth dynamic. She's always tired of his shit, but is always amused. He's madly in love and in awe of her brilliance. I also like the idea that they could be romantic, platonic, or kinky.

I just think they are so very in love and nothing could convince me otherwise

I ship frobin because of their dynamic during enies, thriller bark , and they are just cute overall love the idea of them as a couple.

Me encantan como pareja 😍

[a-pale-azure-moon]

WIP Wednesday

It's done.

There will be revisions and tweaks to make between now and when I post it in a few days, but I have finished the final chapter of Someday We'll Shine Together. At long last, it is complete.

I'm struggling to distill all of my emotions into words at the moment. This fic has been a part of my life for about three years now. I'm feeling accomplished and proud of myself for really and truly finishing it despite the fact that when I first had the idea, I was convinced this was another of those fleeting inspirational flashes that would never go anywhere and would forever languish in my WIP folder. I got very attached to this story in the process of creating it, and I got even more attached to it when it was one of the things that helped see me through a very difficult time in my personal life. As such, I'm also grieving that it's over and that I now must let it go. Sure, it'll always exist for me to revisit whenever I want, but that feeling is never the same as the one derived from actively working on it.

While I'm still digesting all of these emotions, here's a rough timeline and some background of the fic's development, so you can all see how I finally got to this point. This is pretty personal too, because the two are irrevocably intertwined. (Content warning: death/grief)

Summer 2020: Initial inspiration hits after I rewatched Utena during COVID lockdown.

Fall 2020: Brainworms are on-and-off active, writing short blurbs in a Google doc when they come to me, but there's no true shape to the whole plot yet, it’s just random scenes. It's more or less still strictly a 3H-esque retelling of Utena, and I'm not expecting anything to actually come of these blurbs.

Winter 2020: More blurbs trickle in here and there. The story in my head is starting to divert more drastically from the show.

February 19, 2021: Draft of the pivotal scene at the end of Chapter 15 written. I remember the specific day for this because I wrote it the same day we put down our dog, Clancy. (Writing emotional scenes often helps me process my own emotions.)

April 11, 2021: Creation of my dedicated author's notes file to keep track of the various threads and ideas I'd come up with, especially the backstory about Faerghus and how Dimitri became the Lion Prince. I filled it in like an extended summary or wikipedia entry about the 'verse and the overall plot of the story. I jotted a lot of stuff down between April and June as the brainworms really got to work again.

Summer 2021: I'm starting to entertain the idea of actually seeing this project through. Chapters 1 and 2 are drafted over the summer months, but I hit a block and the self doubt comes roaring right in to deter me.  A LARGE part of my struggle with getting this fic out of development hell was me being unable to get out of my own way.  Every stumbling block I hit (especially early on) was an invitation for my inner critic to resume browbeating me into giving up this “stupid” idea.

September 2021: I finally make up my mind that I'm really going to do this, and I spend the next six weeks ironing out the bumps in the plot and making a chapter-by-chapter outline highlighting the key scenes/plot points/character beats within each one. I organized the various blurbs I had into chronological order and put them under the correct chapter headings. I also started thinking of the best way to get myself to see this project through, as well as what would be a realistic timetable for its completion. I estimated that the final length of the whole thing would be around 350 pages or roughly 150K words. (This is hilarious to me in hindsight.  I severely underestimated the scope of this fic!)

November 2021: I try to do the NaNoWriMo challenge (50K words in a month) to draft as much of the fic as I can. I "only" produce about 35K words in the end, but it was enough to draft Chapters 3 and 4 and write at least one decent-sized blurb within each of all of the remaining chapters.

December 2021: I took a short hiatus from working on SWST to finish Beneath the Ethereal Moon. When that's done, I went over my outline yet again to refine it further and then cleaned up my draft of Chapter 1 with an eye on posting it after right after New Year's. I determined that posting (and writing) one chapter per month should be doable, especially since I have a generous buffer to start with.

January 2022: I get a bad case of cold feet/anxiety and don't post Chapter 1. I'm having trouble getting a feel for Chapter 5 and fail to finish it before the end of the month. (This naturally doesn't help alleviate my self-doubt or silence my very loud inner critic.)

February 2022: Cold feet strike again and I fail to post Chapter 1 a second time. I'm still stuck on Chapter 5 (though I've at least made some progress), and while I'm extremely aware that I'm being my own worst enemy, that doesn't make it any easier to beat back old habits.

March 2, 2022: In the wee hours of the night (it was after midnight), I finally posted Chapter 1 and went straight to bed after. I slept terribly of course, haha.

I wish I could say "and you know the rest from here," but that's not true. Posting Chapter 1 was a huge mental hurdle cleared, but there were other things going on behind the scenes that almost derailed this project for good. The timing was such that if I were more prone to hubris, I'd think that the universe itself was testing my resolve. Or possibly mocking me.

On March 3, 2022 (yes, the day after I posted Chapter 1), my father was admitted to the hospital with a debilitating pain in his lower back. Initially, we thought it might be a flare up of his sciatica or maybe something like a kidney stone, but the truth was far worse. What he had was a spinal epidural abscess caused by a bacterial infection in his blood. He was transported to the ICU of a larger (further away) hospital once the severity of his condition was discovered, and he was pumped full of massive doses of antibiotics. Thanks to that, he stabilized, but what followed after was a long period of uncertainty as he would start to make gains only to suffer a setback. Even once the infection and his pain level were under control, he'd been so severely sick that the bacteria had ravaged his various body systems, leading to issues with his kidneys and his heart.

For 91 days, my family and I were stuck on a wretched rollercoaster of getting hopeful (he was transferred to a rehab facility three different times when it looked like he was improving) and then having our hopes dashed when something would happen that would see him sent back to the hospital (falling out of bed, chest pains, difficulty breathing). Hope began to fade in mid May when he was transferred back to the ICU due to diastolic heart failure, which caused his lungs to fill up with fluid. They tapped his lungs thrice, removing at least a liter of fluid each time, but they kept filling up again despite all the diuretics the doctors were giving him. Then his kidneys began to shut down too. We kept hoping right until the end, but he passed away on June 1, 2022, the day before what would've been his and my mother's 49th wedding anniversary.

(Proof that real life can be even crueler than fiction.)

I was only able to continue updating SWST while my father was sick because of that buffer I'd had, and I very nearly deleted the story from AO3 altogether after he died. I remember ruminating about how futile it was to continue with this project; I'd written almost nothing while he was sick, so my buffer was now gone and I questioned whether or not I'd be able to write, let alone write consistently, with the promised months of grief and general upheaval ahead. Even writing a story that I had, to that point, been passionate about felt utterly pointless.

It was strange though. I woke up on June 2nd thinking that maybe I should go ahead and post chapter 4 anyway, since it was already done and it was one of the chapters I particularly liked. So I did. And in the following days, we had my father's funeral and a part of me felt like I could breathe again. I was grieving yes, but the constant daily stress and uncertainty from his illness was gone, and I think that freed my creative drive to start working again. I remember the first day I sat back down at my computer with the intention to write and how much better I felt in general after I got some words onto the screen.

It's hella ironic that I planned SWST with grief and loss as major themes and it turned out I'd be processing such things myself while writing most of it. I know my own grief affected the story, though it's impossible to say to what degree; I get a lot of catharsis in general from writing emotional scenes, so I tend to go hard on them regardless. It didn't change the plot or direction of the story at all, since that was already planned, but it's certainly safe to say that I channeled a lot of my own feelings into some of the most intense moments. The ending of Chapter 9 stands out in particular as something that felt like it was coming straight out of my own heart.

Even on the hard days when I was feeling too overwhelmed and/or the words just weren’t coming, this story gave me a reason to keep going.  Just keeping the goal in mind and reasserting my resolve to be consistent and see this project through to the end helped me cope.  It both kept me grounded and helped me process what I was going through and it gave me something to look forward to when I uploaded each chapter and anxiously waited to see what the readers would think.

I started this fic as a means of testing myself: testing my commitment to writing consistently, to finishing a long-term project, and to getting over at least some of the many, MANY mental hurdles that have held me back from writing for way too long.  I knew that this story would always be near and dear to me if I managed to finish it, but it became even more precious than I ever could’ve imagined back in 2020.  It hurts that I must say goodbye to it, but…it’s forever mine.  I can say with my whole chest that I MADE THIS THING and I’m so very proud of it! <3