#i should... probably chill it on the caffeine...

[orcelito]

I may be a little bit manic

[deadmomjokes]

Idk who needs to hear this, but caffeine immediately making you sleepy instead of energizing you is not just a fun quirk. You probably have ADHD.

I'm not talking about the crash that comes after it wears off, or the soothing nature of your daily coffee routine. I'm not talking about how you can build up a tolerance to where caffeine no longer effects you at lower doses, so you stay tired.

I mean if you can't let yourself drink soda or coffee before driving because it makes you sleepy within 10-45 minutes after, or you've always wondered how people can chug a Starbucks and then get to work because every time you've tried you start feeling all sluggish and Suspiciously Peaceful, that is not a normal response.

Caffeine is a stimulant. It should stimulate you. Unless you have ADHD, in which case a stimulant chills the background brain noise and you suddenly feel a lot calmer, at which point your body goes "Oh thank goodness" and pushes the Sleepy button. That's why people with ADHD get chiller and more focused on Adderall, whereas neurotypicals will get famously spastic and twitchy.

So if you've always been that weirdo who doesn't drink Coke because you have a long drive home and you don't want to risk driving drowsy, or you can have a nice warm cup of coffee in the evening and go right to bed, go to a doctor, my dude. You probably have ADHD.

[diagonal-queen]

hello can i request dazai, kunikida, and fyodor with an insomniac s/o who's really tired after a busy day but can't seem to fall asleep no matter what and gets frustrated bc of it

"Can't sleep?"

♡ pairing: Dazai Osamu, Doppo Kunikida, Fyodor Dostoyevsky x gn!Reader

♡ synopsis: How do they help their S/O with insomnia get to sleep?

♡ cw: Reader is an insomniac (I genuinely don't know how that would manifest itself as a trigger but hey! I'm just one person in a sheltered world. Stay safe everyone <3), probably super inaccurate because I myself am not an insomniac and don't really know everything about it, Dazai horny, mentions of taking medication, mentions of alcohol, swearing

note: I feel like garbage cus my writing takes forever and I feel like I'm letting y'all down for taking so long with reqs, but I don't know what to do to fix itttttttt. Apologies for errors and I hope you enjoy x

Dazai:

Well reader. You're lucky you cuffed yourself a night owl

He'll help you calm down from your frustration and tell you that it's fully normal. Everyone has trouble falling asleep, and you just haven't figured out an effective routine yet. He doesn't really know what he's talking about but if it makes you feel better then meh

His first suggestion would probably be sex, to tire you out. Even better if you go for multiple rounds just to be sure~

Yeah right Dazai, like anyone's gonna wanna fuck every single work night (besides him lmao). Safe to say, the idea is thrown out pretty quickly

He'll throw some similar ideas around (not necessarily sexual but certainly 'if they're tired out then they'll fall asleep faster') but those are all just temporary solutions, so he gives up quickly. What else did you expect from him?

He might also suggest drinking yourself to sleep since alcohol is a depressant and makes you tired. You have to remind him that excessive drinking is actually not good for you and should NOT be used as a substitute for sleep meds

He reckons that it's best for you two to let sleep overtake you naturally, and so you may as well just stay up for now.

From then on Dazai treats every single night like a sleepover. He'll wanna watch movies, eat snacks, and talk all night even if it's a work night and you absolutely shouldn't do that

If you want, he's happy to do something more chill like cuddling while sharing a pair of earphones playing mellow music

Whatever it is that the pair of you decide to do, he'll likely find that it helps him just as much, maybe even more, than it helps you. And he's grateful for that

Kunikida:

I feel like Kunikida also has at least mild insomnia, so he knows just how you feel and is right there to help you out

He's got it all ready. Fans/blankets to balance out the room's temperature, a warm drink (milk, tea, whatever you prefer), basically all the stuff Google would suggest

He would do all of that stuff alongside you even if he's already tired enough to fall asleep on his own because he understands the struggle. He doesn't give up until you're asleep and honestly get you a man who would also do that

He also discourages you from things like caffeine before bed or napping during the day to help you get more sleep at night

He'd make a whole new bedtime routine for the two of you and adjust it based on what works, it'd be like a whole thing that he takes super seriously

He'd suggest reading before bed and recommend/lend you books that he likes, and also read to you if you really pleaded for it. He really enjoys reading and he would be thrilled if the pair of you had a little thing you did together <3

If they don't give any side effects/react poorly with any meds you may already take then he would also give you some of his sleeping pills (because let's be real he's fully stocked with them. this man)

Kunikida would let you cuddle him in your sleep whether or not he likes it or it makes him sweat, because let's face it you need the sleep and he needs the physical touch. It's basically a win-win

He gives you permission to wake him up if you can't sleep and need his help, or if you want company in your waking time.

He honestly does whatever it takes to help you because he cares so much about you. Perfect man fr

Fyodor:

Bold of you to assume that Fyodor sleeps. Like ever. He's too busy being evil or something

When he learns that you're an insomniac he's fully willing to let you stay up late with him while he's working if you're in need of company. He doesn't care whether you're just on your phone or reading a book or whatever

If you ask him he'll also let you sit in his lap and cuddle him (as long as you don't bother him- if you do he's sending you right to bed)

Fyodor knows that calming music is a good way to help people sleep, so if you're down he'd be willing to play something mellow and soft on his cello for you

He probably wouldn't admit it but he kinda likes that you find it hard to get to sleep since it gives him an excuse to spend more time with you

But if you really do wanna get to bed then he'll have some tea made for you and he'll read to you. His voice is very relaxing and nice to fall asleep to and he kinda knows it (he's smug about it too because he's a bastard)

If you find that you actually sleep better in his presence then he's more than happy to move a couch into his office and let you sleep there.

He's also happy to forfeit (SOME) work so he can come to bed earlier and help you sleep. And he's also happy to cuddle you because you're warm

Fyodor will basically just help you get to sleep with methods that he uses to get himself to sleep because it's the only way he knows how. Even if it doesn't work please give him credit for trying because he really is trying super hard T-T

taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fyodorhatr, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl, @kokoenjiandco

[teecupangel]

So this idea has been bouncing in my head like an excited rabbit on caffeine. (I also don't know if anyone else thought of this but I thought it would be cool) so you remember the reblog chain where the players are all in Desmond head talking like a twitch chat, and the other reblog chain of Desmond's ancestor data gaining sentience because isu bstm, right? Well I had a thought, what if we combined the two, like maybe something like the part of the main group + Desmond are trying to get to the others who are in another part of Abstergo or the assassin's network and Desmond, let's say that while he was split he couldn't hear us until they passed through this really corrupted part of an ocean map (let's say it's in Edward's time) then all of a sudden Desmond hears one of us. (Sorry if this doesn't make sense. I hope you have a heath day/night)

I think this is the AC characters data in Abstergo’s database regaining sentience AU reblog chain with @piratekenway you’re talking about?

The Ratatouille AU where the ancestors can hear Desmond while ‘playing’, its more unhinged cousin, the Ratatouille AU where Desmond can hear us and the outside POV of Al Mualim thinking the Apple broke Altaïr and the sidestory of Altaïr accidentally connecting with Ezio while looking for Desmond (I hope I didn’t forget anything else)

Okay, so the idea is that we’re using the setup for the character data gaining sentience and we’re setting this as sorta like the ‘epilogue’ to the Ratatouille AU.

Instead of letting the world burn (“As a treat!” one of the voices chirped), he sacrifices himself. When he wakes up, he’s in Abstergo’s database, chained as a digital copy of Sample 17.

He can’t hear any voices anymore.

Are they disappointed with him?

Did they think they wasted their time trying to help him?

Did he… make the right choice?

He doesn’t know how much time has passed… when the virus started taking over the database and servers.

.

In this one, the virus isn’t made by Erudito + Assassins. It’s of ‘unknown origin’.

All they know is the name of the virus is “for desmond!” and it is targeting Desmond. Of course, Sample 17 is in one of the more secured encrypted ‘part’ of the database so it mutated to wake other data up.

Data that has connection with Desmond.

Along the way, the virus inside them starts waking up other data nearby, creating a strange team to rescue Desmond.

We can sorta play with this a bit and make Arno, Evie and Jacob become part of Abstergo’s database because they do have data of Arno’s descendants and it makes sense that the reason why the Templars knew where the Shroud is because they can access the twins’ memories as well and the Assassins just stole their DNA for their own Animus instead.

So they get to Desmond who is staying in the Grand Temple, just sitting there, staring at the devices, doubting and double-doubting himself if he should have activated the device when the people who care for him the most asked him not to.

Of course, Abstergo’s anti-virus and probably the entire security system is chasing after them so they don’t have time to actually talk.

They just run.

Well, they sailed using a fusion of the Jackdaw and Aquila…

… into a corrupted part of the West Indies.

The idea was… the virus didn’t harm them but it definitely fucks with Abstergo’s anti-virus and security system.

At the very least, they were hoping it would slow them down.

What they did not expect was for the entire thing to collapse under them…

And drop their modified ship into a different unfamiliar ocean.

“Holy shit!”

Desmond blinked.

“That scared the crap out of me. Goddamn it, Ubisoft. I know this is still being betatesting but Jesus Christ, loading the entire ship and dropping it from above??? What kind of programming does this game have???”

“Lollol. Dude, chill.”

“Is it an enemy ship? Like… can you shoot it?”

“Should you shoot it? Check its level first.”

They were all familiar voices.

“You don’t want a repeat of-”

“Guys?” Desmond asked, his voice a bit too quiet.

Hesitant.

He didn’t dare hope that it was them.

Not all of them.

But some of the ones he was most familiar with.

The ones who stayed with him the most.

“Holy shit.”

“Oh my god, Desmond?!”

“What’s Desmond doing in this game?!”

“Is it our Desmond???”

Desmond’s lips curved into a smile and his voice croaked as he said, “Yeah, I’m your Desmond.”

“Oh my god.”

“Desmond!!! You’re okay!!! We were sooo worried!”

“You think this is [Bored Anonymous]’s work??? Did their plan to use all our computers to try and connect with Desmond’s world and send our gift work?”

“Gift?” Desmond tilted his head.

Did they mean the virus?

He felt someone nudged his arm and he turned to look at Ezio. Everyone else seemed confused but Altaïr, Ezio and Ratonhnhaké:ton seemed to have an idea on who he was talking to.

Wait.

They can hear them!

Before Desmond could tell the voices that everyone could hear them now, one of them said hurriedly, “Oh fuck! Someone get [Bored Anonymous] quickly!”

“Why?”

“I only have 1 more hour to play this beta! What happens to Desmond if he stays in this beta server after the time is up?!! We can’t lose him!”

“Ohshitohshitohshit!”

“I’ll alert the discord server!”

“I’ll try to message them in Tumblr! They’re always online there!”

“Pretty sure that’s their queue…”

“We can still try!”

Desmond simply laughed.

Sure, the time limit they’re talking about was worrying but hearing all of them worrying about him…

It felt like he was finally home.

[silly-lil-scribbles]

dumb idea, but felt necessary

so heres my moots (some of them atleast) and what tmagp character i associate them with.

@styrofoamdoor colin. youre like an absent father. i refuse to elaborate.

@ngalu celia. generally pretty chill, kind, and every now and then youll just say something insane like it’s absolutely nothing.

@chouthechaoticraccoon gwen (post bonzo). on your own unrelated sideplot, overthinking everything, and most likely on the verge of a mental breakdown. put the coffee down. please.

@chaoticbuggybitchboy alice. really cool, definitely struggling in some way at all times, and you probably handle that with humor (me too friend). generally just fun to be around. on a side note, put the fanfic down. please. also, you have correct opinions on everything, i dont make the rules.

@jetstar2828 sam. idk why. vibes.

@sunflowerqueen333 i dont know that much about you but youre really nice, so im choosing celia :3

@princessofthesapphics sam. again, dont know you that well yet (unfortunate), but you remind me of sam. welcome to magpod posts btw, you can never leave. you should be expecting wayyyy too much talk about tma(gp) from me in the future :)

@fruityfroggyfelon lena. stressed. congratulations, you get the #1 blorbo and shes a complete mess. you either consume way too much caffeine, or youre just like that. nobody knows. you tend to appear from the void to yell about something, before disappearing yet again. silly <3

@raccoons-under-a-trenchcoat “chester”. i feel beheld. u seem like the kind of person to email me a random mans address completely unprompted and i love that for you.

@alley-brigade-productions colin. eye coded while simultaneously holding a grudge against the eye. no further explanation.

@humanteethmarksonhumanbone celia. if you said you wake up on train tracks next to an interdimensional hellportal, i would probably believe you. good friend, even if we dont talk much :>

@encryptidarchivist lena. question, how much sleep do you get, perchance? go drink some water. do it. like, right now.

sorry if these aren’t accurate, this was just for fun and if anything was insult adjacent just know i mean it lightheartedly, love you ^^

[ninthskzmember]

Birthday, debut.

Word count: 1,9k.

Warnings: Kind of suggestive, a few curses, kind of fluff too.

a.n: Hi, you can call me MoonJin, I'm 23 years old and this is the first thing I am publishing. I'm really open to constructive criticism! You all can suggest me anything, and make requests too! Hope you like it. If this gets some kind of support, I'll probably make a part two. I'm so full of ideas!

July 20th, 2019.

“Moonlight, wake up.” Minho moved my legs softly, trying to wake me up. I could feel the masculine cologne in the room.

“Just five more." I rolled over to the other side of the bed, facing the wall.

“It's your solo debut day... Happy birthday, by the way.” I could hear his cheeky smile, making me smile too. I turned around, and I could see his cute, swollen face from sleeping.

“Thank you, Min.” I answered as he handed me something in the dark room, the only light coming from the almost closed door that takes you to the aisle where the other room is and then to the living room.

“Jagi-ah, happy birthday!" Hyunjin entered the room where Minho and I were with a bouquet of roses in hand, opening the door widely.

Minho and I covered our eyes in pain for the sudden hit of light after being in the dark—and asleep—for so long.

“Hwang Hyunjin, you did not have to do that." I scolded the tall one, as if he were not my sunbae.

“I know you love this kind of thing even if you try to hide it, Moon. Now you have to wake up; it's a big day in numerous ways. NINETEENS KITSCH”

The boy who is only a few months older than me is way more excited than my oppa sitting right at the side of my legs, still with his hand on my thigh from when he tried to wake me up, and I still have his gift in my hands.

“Thank you, Jinnie.” I laughed it off. “Put those in the water; I'm waking up right now.” The two pairs of eyes followed my movements as if I were some kind of weirdo. “What?”

Minho and Hyunjin looked at each other and just made some type of grin.

“Am I missing something?”

“How are you so calm?” Minho talked after a while. “When we have a comeback, you can barely shut the fuck up." He joked, and Hyunjin laughed out loud.

“I know I should be excited... And I am! I'm just... To me, you know, you guys are my everything. I know a lot of idols can't wait for their solo debuts, but, to me, it is missing eight nineths of me. I have so much fun on stage... I'm just worried I won't like it that much.” It was my turn to give a worried grin.

“Yeah, Hyunjin-ah can take it from here." Minho got up and left the room, making me laugh. That's classic Lee Know.

"Angel,” he made his way to me once we were alone after leaving the bouquet on top of my bed, even though the door was still open. “We might not be up there on stage with you, but the eight of us will be looking proudly at our girl.” He smiled sweetly at me while hugging me by the waist, pulling me closer to him.

“I know you know I know, but not everybody knows, so you should close the door at least." Felix's deep voice made it's way to our ears, and we looked at him, closing the door behind him. “Happy birthday, you annoying cunt.” My best friend did let out the brightest smile ever and opened his arms to me as I made my way to him, winning a whine from Hyunjin.

”Get over it, Hwang. She prefers me still.”

“Don't fright over me. There's enough MoonJin for everybody.”

“WHERE'S THE YOUNG LADY?" Changbin slammed open the door with so much energy that you could tell he's had a ton of caffeine, and it's not even 7 a.m.He was followed by an equally energetic Jisung.

When I see them being chaotic, I can't help but think about Crash and Eddie from The Age of Ice. The cartoon.

"I think that's me." I raised my hand shyly.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" The two of them screamed and took me from Felix's arms, who was still holding me, making a me-sandwich in between them.

“You'll kill her with your tits,” a chill Seungmin was supported by the door's frame. “You'll suffocate the birthday gal."

"She'll die happily.” Jisung added, and everybody started laughing, except for Hyunjin, whose moment with him was long forgotten.

"What's so funny?” The maknae appeared out of the blue.

“Your face." Seungmin responded with the same aura as before "Who gave you this?" He took the roses from the bed.

"Who else would?" Felix raised his eyebrows and pointed at himself, making me smile as I flashed a glance at the original person who brought it to me.

“What's got you all moody, Hyung?" Jeongin saw the movement of my eyes.

"I was wishing her a happy birthday first."

"Actually, the first one was Minho Oppa." I teased and heard a chuckle from Felix.

"He remembered?" Jeongin asked, surprised.

"Just because she's debuting today." Seungmin answered calmly.

"Well, anyway, thank you all so much for your birthday wishes... I have to get ready for the day. Thank you so much, Felix, for the bouquet." I stated, as I started pushing everyone out of the room.

"Hey, this is my room too." Changbin crossed his arms on top of his chest.

"Yeah, and mine." Felix added.

"CHRIS OPPA, THEY'RE NOT LETTING ME GET READY, AGAIN." I screamed over to our leader, whose appearance was immediate.

"Happy birthday, sunshine." he said as he gifted me a small box with a bright smile on his face.

As I opened the thing, you could see a little moon hanging from a thin chain, everything covered in gold.

"Oppa, you didn't have to..." I pouted as I went ahead and hid on his chest, and he wrapped his arms around me, still smiling adorably.

"I know I didn't, but I wanted to. You're always working hard. Just a little way to show gratitude." He kissed the top of my head.

"Thank you so much. I really appreciate this. I won't ever take it off." I smiled while taking the thing out of the box, handing it to him, and turning on my back so he could put it on my neck.

I made eye contact with Hyunjin, whose face was still in a frown. Felix pouting at the moment between our leader and me, and Changbin hugging him.

"There you are." Chris took my hair and placed it on my back again. "Now, the three of you get the fuck out of here and let the girl get ready for her big day." He looked at the guys, one by one. "What even are you doing here?" He asked with a soft laugh when he saw Hyunjin taking a seat on Minho's bed.

"I was talking with her."

"You can talk with her later, Hyunjin-ah. She's already running late." Chan made a movement with his head towards the door, and the younger one rolled his eyes.

He's so moody today.

"I'll take care of him. Take the other two, please." I laughed, and Hyunjin's face softened.

Chan nodded and took Changbin and Felix with him to have breakfast in the kitchen.

"You were saying?" I smiled at a not-so-grumpy Hyunjin.

"Thank you so much, Felix, for the bouquet." he said with a funny voice, imitating me.

"You know that sentence was directed at you, silly."

"You still said Felix."

"Hey, he's still covering for us when he does not have to. You should appreciate it." I scolded the tall one.

"You didn't thank me." he pouted.

"Thank you so much, Hyunjin-ah, for the most precious bouquet anyone has ever gifted to me." I walked towards him with a sweet smile on my lips.

"That sounds like the most beautiful melody to my ears." he said, his hands back to my waist, pulling me in again.

"So you don't like Kistch at all?" I giggled

"Oh, c'mon" he said, rolling his eyes. "You can be a little Lee Know when you want to." The boy added some kind of annoyed tone to his voice.

"Yeah, I spend like... most of my day with him."

His face dropped again.

"Stop being a jealous fuck!" I pushed him playfully.

"I will when you finally admit that you're in love with him and not me."

"Oh my God, why are you so dramatic?" I really laughed out loud.

"You did not give me a good morning kiss." flashed his eyes to my lips and back to my eyes.

"I don't ever do that."

"You should start, like, right now."

"You are taking my precious time."

A knock on the door was heard.

"Moon-ssi, you really need to get going." Felix's voice again

"See, he's still covering for us. If it was Seungmin that was sent to call me, he'd just open the door and catch you asking for kisses."

"Just admit that you love everybody else but me at this point, God." he exaggerated on purpose, being even more dramatic than before.

"I'm going, Lix." I said this towards the door and placed a sweet, soft kiss on the boy's lips, winning a big, bright smile from him.

"Give me a proper kiss before I leave." He pulled me back.

As I leaned close to him, my phone started ringing.

"tall, blonde, Australian."

"I know for a fact that's not Yongbok... or Chan Hyung." Hyunjin said while his lips were still in position to receive a kiss. I took my phone and answered.

"Hey, Luke." I said while looking straight into my member's eyes as his face dropped again, making me laugh.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Three voices screamed at the phone.

"Thank youuuu~" I laughed, still wrapped around Jinnie.

"You're very welcome" Michael answered joyfully.

"It's not my birthday there yet, though."

"It is." Ashton said, adding a bit of mystery to the conversation.

"It's like two in the afternoon over there... It's still the 19th."

"Nah, it's like around seven in the morning" Luke said, like it was obvious.

"What are you talking about?" Hyunjin is plating kisses on my face and neck while

"Yeah, well. We kind of just arrived in Seoul." Ash talked again.

"YOU WHAT?" I screamed right in front of the boy's face, causing him to roll his eyes.

"Happy birthday, Luna" a shy Luke spoke. "We gotta do some airport shit; I'll talk to you later. See you at your debut! Break a leg."

"What?! But..." I didn't get to finish my sentence because he hung up the phone.

"What did you yell for?" His eyes were mid-way closed.

"Luke, Mike, and Ashton just landed here." I smiled at him.

"They really do like you, huh?" He smiled back.

"They're my friends, I guess." I looked at the clock. "Honey, I need to get ready now. I seriously need to." I planted a little longer kiss on Hyunjin's lips, and he wouldn't pull away. "Please, baby" I whispered right on top of his lips.

"Fine. But we're going out tonight." He kissed my forehead. "love you" he whispered before closing the door.

I started taking my shirt off, and he stuck his head through the door.

"What now, Hyunjin-ah?" I laughed

"Two things... First, you look fucking hot in that bra. And second, you didn't say it back" he pouted.

"So clingy" I said, rolling my eyes, and he accentuated his pout. "Love you too, pabo"

"Enough for me. Get on your knees," he joked. "I mean, get ready."

"I'm trying." I smiled, took everything, and went to the bathroom.

Part two

[aerkame]

Eye of The Beholder [part 1]

I think my body is trying to tell me I had too much caffeine and sugar today.

As always I'm doing an everyone x reader because I always do. (This is just part 1 though, so that comes later) This should be expected by now. Everyone will be loved and you can not stop me. *simp snarl* Okay I'll chill out it's fine. It's all dandy. It's cool. It's alr. Credits: Mob AU belongs to Clownsuu (I am assuming they're alright with this?) Welcome Home characters belong to Partycoffin

Notes: Reader is a firefighter puppet (this takes place in a puppet world duh), I had to do quite a bit of research.

__________________________________________________________

Heavy smoke pushed against the mask that protected your face as the wood beneath the creaked with each step. You had to be careful not to rush, any one of these boards could be loose and the ceiling looked like it was ready to cave. A loud crack sounded from somewhere upstairs, never mind taking it slow. You have to hurry now.

You dashed past the broken elevator just as a board fell from the ceiling. One hand firmly gripped the axe face down and the other grabbed the railing as you made your way up the stairs making sure to check the surroundings every few feet. Each step felt exhausting with the weight of the coat on your body and cautious steps that had to be taken lest you fall into the growing fire in the lobby. The temperature became hotter the higher you went, it was almost unbearable by the time you made it to the 4th floor.

The rest of the team and the captain had yet to make any contact and it was beginning to grate on your nerves. You suspect the reason why, it was the same reason this hotel went up in flames to begin with. Hell, that mob fight was still probably going on despite this spreading fire. Heaving as the oxygen became tighter, you prepared to cut the door down, raising the axe at a good angle before swinging.

Chips of charred wood fell away bit by bit until there was a clear opening to step through. Two figures lay in the room surrounded by burnt belongings and cases of unidentifiable liquids, they must have been doing something shady or possible mob activity. That would explain a few things. You shook your head to clear your already foggy mind. Nothing else mattered right now though, you found the missing persons and now you needed to make sure they made it out okay.

You wished you had backup.

The grey man was easy to pickup but you were beginning to worry about the other unconscious man. Both were larger than you, but you were stronger, you can do this. You tried a second time, then a third time before managing to stand, having both the grey puppet and red-haired puppet over your shoulders. The axe was left behind, there should still be a clean exist through the lobby if you hurried.

The fire had spread far faster then you thought. The path you planned out was now littered with fallen beams and burning chunks of the ceiling.

Seeing no other way around this, you gently placed the two men down as you unlatched a pocket to bring out two trauma blankets, hurriedly wrapping both in the protective fabrics. The last thing you needed was either of their felt skin catching flame.

A quiet wheeze caught your attention.

The grey man appeared to be struggling to breathe, you unlatched your own mask to put it over them, keeping it close enough so the tank's hose wouldn't snap away. It was going to be okay, the exist wasn't too far.

You carried the two once more, this time with more difficulty, your steps became uneven and your breath was ragged, no longer having the mask to filter out the smoke.

It's okay you told yourself, you are so so close. You never noticed the red eyes that followed you.

Pushing through the burning and itchiness in your chest, you made it to the front of the building before stumbling out and falling to one knee, not wanting to hurt the victims still on your shoulders. Everything felt so heavy. It was so hot.

You flew into a coughing fit after placing the two men on the sidewalk and looked around. Your team nor your captain were anywhere in sight. They should have been here by now. Where was the truck? Where were the ambulance? You tried to stand but failed.

Another cough escaped and you fell to the sidewalk, clawing at your coat to get it off. Your head was hurting and you felt sick. It was too hot.

Your eyelids fluttered before everything faded to black.

______________________________________________________

One knee bounced over the other as the music playing in the background went on. The brightly lit 'Closed' sign in the front flickered.

"Sally, do you understand what exactly it is you did tonight?" The voice was monotone with an edge to it.

The yellow puppet made a nervous laugh, shrugging their shoulders. "I got the target and Frank n' Eddie managed to save the evidence?"

Wally clicked his tongue in annoyance. "You made quite the mess for what was supposed to be a clean job. Two buildings burned down and a firetruck blown to bits." His foot tapped impatiently. "And now the police have gotten themselves involved if only to appease the public." Glasses clinked behind the counter as the bartender cleaned quietly. Wally continued.

"You're lucky at least one firefighter made it into the hotel before it collapsed. Frank and Eddie wouldn't be here otherwise." His voice was dripping with venom, but he made no move to do anything.

Wally rested one hand over the other as he stared at Sally. "Now, I want you to make me a promise Sally. Do not ever use those damn explosives again unless it's already been discussed beforehand. Do I make myself clear?"

"Y-yes boss!"

"Good."

He peered over the counter, taking a sip from the beverage in hand, swishing it around a bit. "Barnaby, did Frank get the identity of the firefighter?"

"Yeah, he said somethin' about a mask or whateveh. But he got the face and name after a bit of diggin'," Barnaby stared off to the side as he inhaled another breath from the cigar. "Should be easy to tie up loose ends this time around, as far as I know that firefighter was the only one who saw the cases in that room."

A grin grew on the boss's face. "Well then. As soon as Eddie and Julie are ready, he'll be the one to pick up the special package."

Sally may or may not have used an explosive during a deal at a hotel that caused a giant hole in the side of the building and started a massive fire...and she may or may not have accidentally blown up a firetruck and caused a roadblock.

Also dayymn, it only takes 2-10 minutes to suffocate from smoke. No wonder firefighters need masks and a whole tank on their back when going in.

[theboywithburninghands]

Okay. Executive decision. Posting the first chapter of my two-parter here, because I'm loaded with caffeine and I want you guys to see what I've been up to all week. Uh it's pure Funnybunny, so sorry if you wanted some Ragatha romance stuff... Uhhhhhh also like... it's a bit long? And character driven rather than romance driven. Hope you like it anyway! Oh and I'm linking the AO3 if you'd prefer that. T/W: Mild cartoon violence, self hatred, a sex joke

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55822147/chapters/141729268

Like Rhinestones, Falling From the Sky (Part 1)

he grounds of the Digital Circus had two states. Daytime and sunny, nighttime and clear. It was a constant that no one bothered to disturb. Caine could grant a lot of requests around the circus, but rarely in any way the asker might want. Ask for a few wildflowers to add some color on the grounds? Congratulations, now there was an entire field of flowers, flowers that smelled like cheap, nose-tickling perfume and grew so thick and snared that it was impossible to walk around outside. Ask for a cool, dim day because you wanted a nap? Hey presto, now the entire circus was engulfed in an impenetrable fog that made Silent Hill look like the Aouzou Strip. The performers all followed the same motto when it came to the weather:

If it’s already broken, don’t break it any more. 

Due to this motto being in place, it was a complete mystery as to why all the performers were shaken awake early one morning by a skull-rattling crash of thunder. 

Kinger was the first out of his room, bursting through his door with a melodramatic wail.

“They’ve finally arrived! The harvest has commenced! They want ALL of our garmonbozia!!!”

Zooble was out of their room next, screwing their head back on their torso and limping over to the eldest performer.

“Relax! Chill the f#%@ out, old timer, it’s just thunder.” they snapped, still not quite awake. 

As if on cue, another rapturous tremor of thunder tore through the air, Ragatha emerging from her room and staring worriedly at the ceiling before joining the group.

“Are you guys okay? That’s some crazy weather we’re-“

Ragatha let out an “eep!” as Kinger seized her by the front of the dress.

“Ragatha! We’re under attack! What’s Morse code for SOS?!”

Ragatha gently took hold of Kinger’s wrists and guided them off of her dress. She smiled and her voice took on a warm, fuzzy tone. 

“Hey… no one is attacking us, Kinger. It’s probably been ages since you’ve heard a thunderstorm, hasn’t it? There’s nothing to be afraid of.” she cooed.

“Unless that’s what they want you to think.” came a slippery voice from behind her. Jax leaned against the wall, one foot flat against it. He sported a tired but nonetheless smug grin. 

“Jax, quit it. Can’t you see he’s scared?” Ragatha chided, but Jax continued as if she hadn’t spoken, walking right up to Kinger. 

“Who knows, maybe they’re after your bug collection, Kinger, or- OW!”

Zooble silenced Jax with a single, well aimed punch to the cheek. 

“Can you shut up? It’s too early for your schoolyard bull#%&$.” Zooble drawled. 

Jax massaged his cheek and gave a petulant “Jeez…” under his breath. Pomni was out of her room next, stirred from sleep like the rest of them. Her black eyelids hung over her eyes like an eclipse, and she dragged her body over to the others as if it had weights tied to it. 

“Hey, morning, Sunshine!” Jax smirked, a hand still on the cheek Zooble punched.

“Go #%&$ yourself…” Pomni mumbled, staring off into the void. 

“YEESH, everyone is crabby this morning. I can’t even say hello withou-“

KRK-BOOOOOOOMMMM!

A peal of thunder like a boulder tumbling into a dump truck shook the air again, everyone instinctively covering their ears (or where their ears should have been.)

“Okay, we should see what’s going on! Maybe it’s part of a new adventure..?” Ragatha proposed as soon as the rumbling subsided. 

“Wait! Where’s Gangle?!” Kinger cried.

There was a soft click as the door to Gangle’s room was opened just a crack, the ribbon girl peering just one eye out and trembling like a leaf. 

“What’s happening…?” she mewled. 

Zooble pressed their foot on top of Jax’s to keep him from speaking up. 

“It’s just a storm, Gangle… We’re gonna go see what’s going on. You wanna come with?” Ragatha smiled and approached Gangle’s door, offering a hand. Gangle gulped and took Ragatha’s hand with one of her ribbons.

“Okay…” she whimpered. 

Jax made a “gag me” motion but remained quiet. 

The six performers headed out into the main room, nearly tumbling onto the chessboard floor from another apocalyptic boom of thunder.

“Does this sort of thing ever happen out of nowhere..?!” Pomni shouted, her crabbiness from lack of sleep bubbling over.

“Didn’t you hear Caine when you first got here? ‘THE AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS IS A PLACE WHERE ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN!’ Chaos is sorta par for the course.” Jax replied. His impression of Caine was actually pretty good, and might have made Pomni smirk a bit if she wasn’t so irritable. 

“Jax is right,” Ragatha chimed in from further ahead. “Around here you have to expect the unexpected, and prepare for what isn’t there.” 

“Yeah, but the way I said it wasn’t stupid.” Jax replied. 

The six of them reached the tent’s exit. It was zipped closed, but quavered feverishly. A small pool of rainwater oozed through the bottom of the flap, occasionally lit bright pearly blue by unseen flashes of lightning from outside. 

“Okay, so it’s definitely storming. Now we know.” Jax drawled, crossing his arms. 

“See Kinger? No one is coming, it’s just bad we-“

Another tremendous crash of thunder interrupted Ragatha, and a half-second later, all of the lights in the tent sputtered and died. The only light left was the heavily censored sunlight from outside filtering under the tent flap. 

“I f#%&$ng hate it here…” Zooble sighed. 

“Okay, no one wander off. Let’s all stick together and find our way back to our rooms…” Ragatha began.

Gangle jolted with a yelp. “Someone grabbed me!”

“Jax!” Zooble growled.

“It wasn’t me! I’m all the way back here, Hodge-Podge!” Jax retorted from the darkness. 

“It was me, Gangle! I grabbed your hand…” Ragatha interjected. “I’m sorry, I thought you would need a hand to hold.”

“Tha-That’s not my hand-”

The performers squinted as a corona of light bloomed in the middle of the room. From the center of the ring, Bubble appeared, glowing with an iridescent, rainbow colored light.

“And God said, let there be LIGHT!” he announced, his squeaky voice echoing throughout the tent.

“DON’T BE RIDICULOUS BUBBLE! IF ANYONE’S GOD AROUND HERE, IT’S YOURS TRULY!” Caine floated down from on high, emitting his own faint light, just enough so he could be seen clearly against the backdrop of darkness. 

“There is no God here…” Zooble muttered.

“Amen.” added Pomni.

“SO MY LITTLE SUPERSTARS! IT SEEMS YOU’VE ALL BEEN MADE AWARE OF OUR INCLEMENT WEATHER!” Caine unzipped the tent entrance. The sky was charcoal black and arcing with threads of lightning. Rain slashed across the grounds in great sweeps and the howling wind eagerly pushed its way into the tent, bringing in a spray of raindrops that doused the six performers, who covered their faces and demanded Caine close the tent again, which he thankfully did after just a few seconds.

“BUT NOT TO WORRY! WHILE I FIX THIS BROUHAHA, YOU ALL-”

He paused for another crash of thunder. 

“-YOU ALL WILL BE ENJOYING AN ADVENTURE!” 

“La dee da.” Jax drawled.

“SO, PLEASE ENJOY YOUR TIME IIIIN-”

Caine snapped his fingers. There was a moment or two of silence before Caine looked down at his fingers and snapped once again. Then again. 

“Huh. That was supposed to open a portal.” Caine said sheepishly. 

“Did you try turning it off and on again?” Bubble asked, squinting one eye.

“Havin’ issues there, Caine? It’s alright, it happens to guys your age.” Jax said with a grin. Pomni felt the corners of her mouth raise, despite herself. 

“I DON’T APPRECIATE YOUR INNUENDO, JAX!” Caine declared, brandishing his cane with a trembling hand. He tried a few more futile finger snaps. 

“So, we’re stuck here..?” Gangle asked, wringing her ribbons together. “In the dark..?”

There was an ill-timed crash of thunder that made her jump and squeak a little too loudly. She covered up her mask as bright pink blush marks formed under her eyes.

“Yeah, I’m with Ribbons, Caine,” Jax said, jabbing a thumb at Gangle. “Everybody knows monsters like the dark since it’s easier to hide.”

“Okay, cut the Twilight Zone bull$#!%.” Zooble scoffed.

“As someone who’s actually seen The Twilight Zone,” Ragatha piped up. “The quote is ‘There’s nothing in the dark that wasn’t there when the lights were on.’ So we’re fine, Gangle. It’s just us.” 

“Nerd.” Jax replied.

In the midst of this whole exchange, Caine had snapped his fingers a good two dozen times before clapping his hands to his face/teeth and bellowing in frustration. 

“Excusemeforjustonesecond!” he spat before disappearing in a flash of light and some confetti. Bubble looked around, barely managing a “Bye-!” before popping, dousing the light and plunging the room back into darkness.

There was a moment or two of silence before another peal of thunder shook the tent. Gangle let out a quiet, uneasy groan as everyone tried to get their bearings in an almost total absence of light. 

“I’m going back to bed.” Zooble announced flatly. The only indication that they were leaving was the sound of careful footsteps receding into the black.

“Wait, can you find your way there?” Pomni asked. 

“I’ll figure it out.” Zooble replied, nothing but a voice from the darkness. Pomni listened to their receding footsteps before she began to pace back and forth. 

“I can’t believe it, he just left us here. Not even a flashlight! Isn’t this place supposed to be magic?! How does the power even go out?!”

“It is the first time I’ve ever seen this happen since I’ve been here…” Ragatha admitted. “What about you, Kinger? You ever seen anything like this?”

“Right now I don’t see much of anything…” Kinger replied matter-of-factly. 

Another roar of thunder, Gangle making an unhappy noise and clinging to Ragatha. Since it was dark, Jax couldn’t see, and thus couldn’t tease her for it. Ragatha patted her on the mask. 

“I don’t want to go off by myself… What if something happens?” she whimpered.

“Come on, Crybaby, you’re not seriously worried about monsters, are ya?” Jax drawled. 

“You’re the one that put the thought into her head, Jax.” Pomni replied. 

“I was joking .” Jax snarked, as if it was the most obvious fact since “water happened to be a little damp.”

“Jokes are supposed to be funny.”

“Yeah?” Jax’s tone darkened. “Well unfortunately, Clownface , the funny guy-”

They were interrupted by a dry, metallic scratch and a spark of orange light. Kinger held a silver lighter in his hand, which supported a tiny yellow-orange flame. 

“…That’s my lighter.” Jax said after a moment. “Where did you get my lighter?!”

“Wait, Jax, why do you have a lighter at all?” Ragatha interjected. 

“None of your business. You need to stay outta my stuff, Hoo-Hah.” Jax took a few steps towards Kinger. 

“I only found it.” Kinger said, taking an equal number of steps back.

“Bull. I don’t leave my stuff layin’ around. Hand it over.” Jax stuck a gloved hand out. 

Kinger looked down at the lighter, then to Jax, who put his hand forward more insistently. Kinger snapped the lighter closed, smothering the fire and disappearing into darkness. 

“Hey! Where’d you go?!” 

“Kinger, wait! We need the light! Don’t go!” Gangle begged. 

There was a grunt and a crash somewhere in the dark, the thunder replying in kind. Another dry, metallic scratch and Kinger reappeared, illuminated orange and standing over by Gangle and Ragatha. 

“What was that?!” he cried, stiffly holding the flame out in front of him. 

“It was me, you moron!” Jax’s irritated voice called out from somewhere in the void. “I couldn't see my hand in front of my face! Now hand over my lighter before I-”

Kinger yelped and snapped the lighter closed again.

“Both of you, stop it!” Pomni shouted. “Jax, I don’t give a $#!% if it’s yours or not, it’s all we’ve got for light right now, so quit acting like a p&!€# for two god&@#% seconds! Kinger!” 

They heard the jester take a breath and soften her voice. 

“Kinger. We need the lighter to see. Can you please turn it back on so we can at least get back to our rooms?”

There was a pause, another rumble of thunder, and at last, a metallic flick as the lighter sparked again. Kinger’s hands shook. 

“Thank you…” Pomni said with a weary smile. “Lead the way, if you don’t mind.”

The five performers made their way towards backstage, slowly and methodically in the cavernous tent. They passed an overturned pile of brightly colored shapes, Jax delivering a well aimed punt to a mint-colored cylinder, which sailed off into the darkness and landed out of sight with a drumroll of thuds. 

“Was that the thing you tripped over?” Ragatha asked, her smile audible in her voice. 

“Felt like kickin’ something.” Jax replied tartly. 

After a few minutes of careful maneuvering amidst peals of thunder, the five of them made it to the corridor backstage.

“Well… what do we do now..?” Pomni asked.

“Do we have to do anything?” Jax replied.

“Well… not really. But I think it might be fun to have a slumber party!” Ragatha said brightly. 

“No offense, Ragatha, but I don’t know if any of us are really in a party mood…” Pomni said, rubbing her left arm with her right hand. 

“No, no, it doesn’t have to be an actual party. We can all just hang around in my room! I’ve got some candles we can light so we can see, and I’ll teach you guys how to make a blanket fort-” 

“You have candles?” Pomni interrupted. “Oh, that’s really good news… Now we don’t have to sit around in the dark. How many do you have, Ragatha?”

“Oh gosh, um…” Ragatha rubbed her chin with her hand. “30? No, 40!” 

There was a period of silence. Kinger held the lighter out so she was illuminated. 

“What?” Ragatha asked, putting her hands on her hips defensively. “I need to de-stress every once in a while too, y’know!” 

“If the tent ever burns down, we know who to blame.” Jax quipped. 

“Oh stop it!” Ragatha flapped her hand dismissively.

“Can… we have a few? Just to have a little bit of light around here…” Pomni asked, touching the tips of her fingers together. 

“Yeah! Absolutely, come on!” Ragatha led her fellow performers to her room, unlocking the door with a bit of flourish and motioning them inside. “After you!” 

The four of them entered her room, Kinger leading the way with the lighter. Ragatha’s bedroom was… on brand. In the dim light, they could make out some plastic furniture that would have been right at home in a dollhouse. A pink, squat tea table surrounded by some plush and frilly cushions. The table came complete with an old fashioned white China teapot and cups, a glazed pink and yellow flower painted on the side of the pot, and the rims of both the cups and pot were lined with gold leaf (or at least a serviceable imitation of it). In the opposite corner, a CRT television sat within a yellow floral patterned hutch, and a game console was hooked up to it. Her bed sat neatly made on the far end of the room, a canopy like Pomni’s, although striped with magenta and cotton-candy pink rather than red and blue. At the food of the bed sat at least a dozen stuffed animals, a teddy bear, a camel, a tiger, and more, all in a neat pile. While they should have looked cute and inviting in the light, in the near dark, they looked uncanny. Their shoebutton eyes caught the flame’s reflection in such a way that made them look insectoid, and their vacant, pleasant expressions staring off into nothing gave off the impression of someone who had lost their mind gazing into the abyss. 

Ragatha hurried over to the hutch, opening a drawer and taking out a brand new white candle. 

“Here’s my stash,” she chuckled, rummaging around in the drawer a bit more. “I have a couple that are scented too. Do you guys like… apple cinnamon or toasted marshmallow more? I’m more of a sandalwood gal myself…”

Jax made a noise of disgust. Kinger stared intently at a stuffed elephant, as if waiting for it to blink. 

“Nanny cam…?” he whispered to himself. 

There was a crash of thunder and everyone jolted. Gangle covered the top of her mask with her ribbons and Kinger fumbled with the lighter, managing to keep hold of it. 

“Good thing you have that, Jax. I just ran out of matches…” Ragatha sighed, setting up a neat cluster of candles 

“Okay, um, I think we should use a couple to light the hallway, if it’s okay with you…at least until Caine fixes things.” Pomni said. “Um, and if I could borrow one or two for my room-”

“Me too please.” Gangle chimed in, raising a ribbon. 

“I need to get my camping stove…” Kinger muttered, still engaged in a stare-off with Ragatha’s stuffed elephant. 

“K-Kinger, you have a camping stove?” Pomni asked. 

“The h@!! do you need one of those for?” Jax also asked, crouching beside Kinger to see what was so interesting about that and stuffed animal. 

“…In case the power goes out.” Kinger replied after a moment.

“This is the first time the power has ever gone out…” Ragatha admitted, but she smiled anyway. “I’m glad you’ve been thinking ahead though.”

Ragatha then gasped. “Oh! We can make tea! I have the best recipe I need to show you guys! It’s perfect for a day like today!”

“I’d like some tea. Something warm to drink would really hit the spot.” Pomni said with a faint smile. Gangle also nodded. 

“Hey, I got a suggestion too.” Jax called, raising a finger. 

In one swoosh, Jax snatched the lighter out of Kinger’s hands, closing it with a clink and extinguishing their one source of light. 

“Jax, hey! I can’t see!” complained Ragatha.

“My lighter, my rules. I’m heading back to my room.” he said.

“What…? Jax, you’re kidding. We need the lighter for just a little longer, then it’s all yours.” Ragatha insisted. 

“It’s already all mine. You stole it. So now I’m keeping it.” Jax replied from somewhere in the dark. 

“Jax, come on!” Pomni shouted. “Everyone could have light again if you would just-”

“Everyone will have light again when Caine gets the electricity working. Just be patient.” 

“But… But Jax…” Gangle began, her voice quavering. “I’m… I’m scared of the dark, please just let us light a few candles…”

“Nope. Your eyes should adjust soon enough.”

The sound of Jax’s retreating footsteps and the open and shut of the door were muffled by another churning rumble of thunder. Ragatha sighed from her place in the dark. 

“Well, don’t worry everyone. We can have a slumber party even in the dark. It’ll take a bit more time to set up and we can’t do as much, but-”

Everyone jumped at a sudden angry yell and thunk. Pomni punched the wall, then felt her way towards the door, throwing it open and stomping out into the hallway. 

“Pomni’s very angry.” Kinger said in a hushed voice. Ragatha set her candles down on the hutch, a few of them rolling off and clattering to the floor as she carefully made her way to her door in almost complete darkness.

“Pomni? Pomni, where are you going?” she called out into the hall. 

It wasn’t too difficult for Pomni to find Jax’s door feeling around in the dark, it was right across from her room, after all. Her right hand aching from punching the wall, she banged on his door with her left. 

“JAX! GET OUT HERE!” she bellowed. 

“Pomni, hey, it’s okay-!” Ragatha insisted, alarmed at the newest member’s sudden explosion of rage. 

“NO! No, it’s not okay! I’m sick to death of him acting like this! It ends right the #%@& now, you hear me?!”

Pomni shouted all this as she feverishly twisted the handle of Jax’s locked door. After several mighty turns, she scoffed and took a few steps back. 

“You wanna hide like a coward? Fine!” 

“What’s going on?!” Zooble’s voice shouted. They had poked their head into the hallway after hearing the racket outside. 

Pomni took another couple steps back until she was almost touching the opposite wall, then ran forward, barging Jax’s door with her shoulder. Thunder roared. 

“Pomni!” Ragatha cried, her voice cracking. “Pomni, what are you doing?! Are you okay?!”

Pomni took the same number of steps backwards and ran forward, smashing into the door again, eliciting a splintery crunch from the jamb. She backed up once again, both her right shoulder and right knuckle ached now, but she barely felt it. Truth be told she couldn’t pinpoint just one reason why Jax’s behavior had enraged her so badly. She was angry from lack of sleep, she was angry that Jax was being such a selfish bully for no reason, she was angry that he had the capacity for kindness and yet chose to act like this- 

Her rage burned blue-hot as she charged at the door, bracing her shoulder for impact. The impact never came. She sailed right past the point where she should have met hard wood, stumbling forward into a boneless somersault. She tumbled over herself and ended up in a sitting position. 

Jax’s room had incredibly faint daylight filtering in from his window. The sky was still the color of a dusty tire, mostly black with flecks of lights. Flashbulbs of lightning popped from within swollen thunderheads. 

Pomni heard the door shut behind her. In the faint light, she saw Jax turn the lock on his door before turning to look at her, arms crossed.

“You almost broke my door, newbie.” he said with almost parental condescension. 

Pomni didn’t say anything in return, only glaring. Anger prickled down her back. Thunder boomed. 

“You know what? Take it.” Jax took the lighter out of his pocket. It shined in the stormlight. “If you’re gonna throw such a hissy fit about something so tiny, you might as well have it so you don’t embarrass yourself more than you already have. Go on. I don’t want it anymore.” 

Jax held his hand out, the lighter on his palm. Pomni reared back and slapped his hand away, the lighter bouncing off the wall with a weighty thud, doing a few midair loops and finally skittering to a stop a few feet behind her.

“What the h@&&?! I gave you what-”

“SHUT UP!!!”

Pomni barked this order with such ferocity that Jax immediately fell silent. It seemed to have shocked the jester herself, as she took a moment to find her voice afterwards. 

“…Why? Why did you do that?” was all she managed to get out.

“I don’t like people touching my stuff.” came Jax’s reply. Despite his shock at being yelled at, he managed to keep his tone cool and even. There was a millisecond flash of lightning. Thunder rumbled.

“Not that. Just… why do you always..? I know you’re capable of being kind. I’ve seen it firsthand. They don’t do anything to you, Jax! So why do you just keep picking at everyone?”

“Because they let me.” 

Pomni felt her anger froth to the surface again. 

“Oh. OH. That makes perfect sense! So you’re cruel because you can be! Nice to know you’re just a sadist then! Ha! That saves me a lot of time, then! We’re through. Get outta my way.”

Pomni snatched the lighter off the ground and pushed past Jax.

“…I’m not a sadist.” he said without turning around. 

“You just said you’re cruel to people for fun. That’s the definition of a sadist!” Pomni unlocked the door to his room and placed her hand on the knob. 

“It’s not for fun.”

Her hand slid off the knob. There was a rolling growl of thunder. 

“So what is it then?!” Pomni turned back to Jax, walking up to him and poking him in the chest. “You keep changing your story! First it was ‘I want them to hate me instead of their situation,’ now it’s ‘I do it because I can.’ So what is it? Tell. Me. The. TRUTH.”

“You want the truth, huh?” Jax said. Half of his face was silhouetted in shadow, his tone steeped in frosty ire. 

“YES. Or you can forget about us. About all of this. It’ll be like we never met.” Pomni asserted. 

“FINE.” Jax hissed. He turned to the window, looking out on the maelstrom of clouds and wind and rain. Another blinding flash of lightning and grumble of thunder.

 “I… I hate myself.” 

For a good 10 seconds, the only sounds were that of the rain on the digital grass and the wind buffeting Jax’s window. 

“S-S-Say again?” Pomni finally asked.

“I hate myself.” Jax repeated, not taking his gaze off the storm. His affect was neutral, but his eyes were distant.

“You… hate yourself?” Pomni echoed. 

“Yeah.” 

The jester chewed on one of her gloves. A flicker of lightning and a softer, yet prolonged burble of thunder rolled across the grounds. She removed her glove from her teeth.

“How do I know that’s not a lie too?” she asked, looking intently at the floor. 

“It’s not.” Jax immediately replied. “I guess, just, believe me.”

Pomni continued chewing on one of her gloves. She jumped a little at an especially loud crack of thunder, but otherwise remained rooted to the spot. An excruciating minute passed.

“…Okay. You hate yourself.” Pomni finally conceded, throwing her arms out and letting her hands slap against her hips. “So?”

This query got Jax to turn towards Pomni. The icy glare on his face could have shriveled flowers. “The £@€# do you mean, ‘so?’” 

“Exactly what it sounds like.” Pomni shot back.

“So? You hate yourself so you treat everyone but me sometimes like trash?! What kind of excuse is that?”

The corner of Jax’s mouth twitched. She had prodded a nerve with that one. He turned back to the window, looking out on the storm-swept grounds. 

“Get outta my room.” he ordered.

“No.” Pomni said with a humorless laugh. “You seriously think I’m gonna go ‘Oh you poor baby, I didn’t know; all is forgiven?’ just because you said you hate yourself? It doesn’t work like that! I hate myself too and I don’t act a FIFTH as awful as you do!”

“What do you mean, you hate yourself..?” Jax demanded quietly. 

Pomni took a deep breath. Well, he had been honest with her. She waited for the latest boom of thunder to quiet down before continuing. 

“I don’t remember everything about outside… but I remember that before I came here I… I was alone. I never went out drinking or dancing; I had no one to go with. Hadn’t kept in touch with my college friends and didn’t associate with anyone at work. How could I? I never had anything to talk to my coworkers about, I never reacted right to anyone’s jokes, I only went to team building exercises if they were mandatory… But it wasn’t like they didn’t try! I got invited to dinner or to birthday parties, and I always said no, I was busy. You wanna know what I was doing?”

“Pomni-” Jax began 

“No! Ask me what I was doing!” 

Jax didn’t reply. Pomni finally shrugged after a moment and answered her own question with a phony smile.

“Nothing. £@€# all. I was doing sudoku, or watching a movie I had already seen, or scrolling on my phone in bed. And I hated myself for it! I would cry into my pillow, I was so lonely! I would tell myself how stupid, stupid, STUPID I was, and how I was an idiot who didn’t deserve friends! I had every opportunity to get out of the hole I dug for myself, and I didn’t, because I was scared they would hate me even more than I thought they already did.”

Pomni felt her anger rise once again.

“Uh huh. But guess what? I never picked on anyone. I never made anyone else feel worse! I hurt so badly some days I wanted to DIE and I still tried my best to smile and treat everyone around me like a PERSON! You hate yourself? SO F#%&ING WHAT?! That doesn’t give you the right to make everything around you worse!” 

Pomni panted, doubling over to catch her breath. She braced herself for some sort of projectile Jax might throw at her. Instead, he only stared at her before turning back to the window. Thunder rumbled. 

“I’m… sorry you hate yourself. Really. It’s the worst feeling. But it’d be so much better if you just… didn’t hurt people. Let them in and helped you heal. It’s what I needed, and now that I have friends…”

Pomni stopped herself. She stared down at the floor again. She hated eye contact already, eye contact after an argument was like staring at the sun.

“So… why do you hate yourself?” Pomni asked after some more silence. 

“What does it matter?” Jax replied. 

Pomni scoffed. “Don’t give me that. Has it occurred to you that I actually care about you? If I didn’t, why would I even be asking? Why would I have kissed you after you made me salmon a few nights ago? I like you, Jax. But you can be a real p&!@% sometimes, and that isn’t okay, even if your pain is real. Why do you hate yourself?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Jax said firmly. 

Pomni let out a protracted sigh, chewing on the finger of one of her gloves and looking down at the floor one last time before looking back up at Jax. He was looking out at the storm.

“Okay. Thanks for at least giving me a real answer. I’ll bring your lighter back in a bit.”

Pomni headed for the door once again. She felt a hand touch her shoulder and she practically jumped out of her skin with a sharp gasp. She whirled around and took a few steps back, Jax pulling his hand back in shock. 

“W-What?! Don’t… don’t touch me!” she snapped reflexively. 

“…I’m…” Jax began. 

Pomni crossed her arms and waited, looking everywhere but in Jax’s face. 

“…I’m…” he tried again. “I’m not being… I’m not just being difficult. I don’t remember.”

Pomni quirked an eyebrow. “Don’t remember what?” 

“Why. I don’t remember why I hate myself. It’s just gone. Poof, right along with my name.”

Pomni licked her lips. She was thirsty from all the shouting. 

“You’re… being serious right now? You aren’t just trying to weasel your way-”

“No. No, I’m- I’m totally serious.” 

Pomni managed to look into his eyes for a moment. They were big, but his pupils were tiny despite the extremely low light. Just the way he’d looked after she had seen him have a nightmare. Scared. 

“…That’s horrible.” Pomni said, looking away after she began to feel itchy. “I… can’t imagine how horrible it must be to hurt and not know why… like a pain in a phantom limb.” 

Jax didn’t say anything, looking back out at the window. Lightning flashed, a bright pink-white splinter across the clouds, and there was a tremulous rumble of thunder that followed. 

“But… you shouldn’t take it out on people. Even if it makes the pain stop. There are other things you can do…” Pomni added. “And… And I’m willing to listen to you whenever you’re hurting. Even if I’m hurting too.” 

Jax looked back at the jester, who immediately stared down at the floor. 

“Why? You barely know me. You said it was so hard to make friends back in the real world. What makes me so special?”

Pomni swallowed. She really needed something to drink. 

“I know. That it’s bizarre for me to like you when I’ve always had such a hard time. But… I want to help you anyway. Isn’t that weird?”

She managed a smile and to look him in the eyes again. Jax gave a short “heh…” and looked away this time. 

“Thanks, Pompom.” he said.

“Anytime, Bunny-Boy.” 

The two of them shared an awkward chuckle. Pomni cleared her throat.

“Um… do you want to come with me? I’m gonna go have tea with Ragatha and the others…”

“I think I’m okay…” Jax replied. 

“Jax, come on. It’ll be fun… Please?” 

Pomni offered a hand. 

“Alright, alright. But only ‘cause you said please.”

Jax took the jester’s hand, Pomni sparking the lighter and leading the way back to Ragatha’s bedroom.

[tadpole-apocalypse]

OC MEME

tagged by @vspin. Thank you fren!

name: Morgan. Just Morgan.

nickname(s): someone probably called her freckles a few times?

pronouns: she/her

star sign: not applicable

height: I hadn't thought about it honestly...a little bit shorter than Astarion since that tends to be how I draw them.

orientation: Pansexual, but prefers men due to them being a forbidden fruit for most of her early life.

race: Human. Probably.

romancing: Astarion and Halsin

fave fruit: Pears

fave season: Winter, less work to do and more time to play in the snow!

fave flower: She doesn't know much about flowers, but she likes the white ones that look like bells.

fave scent: Fresh bread. It's nostalgic for her, she was tasked with being the Baker Mother's assistant and helped with making everyone's daily bread. She likes walking through food markets near her shop in Baldur's Gate to smell all the fresh pastries and bread products.

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: hot chocolate because caffeine sets off her wild magic, but she'd really prefer a nice sweet wine.

average sleep hours: normal human sleep hours

dogs or cats: No, her and her Vampire lover have normal pets, like a brain that is also a Kitty and 4 undead ghoul servants they named Gortash, Ketheric, Orin and Brain.

dream trip: She'd like to see another big city someday! She likes the bustle of the crowds, the local marketplace and food scene, various festivals for all sorts of holidays she never knew of, for races she is still learning about.

amount of blankets: Everyone who sleeps loves many blankets, this is known, and her boyfriend generates no body heat and actually steals all of hers. I feel like the blanket situation during most of the early acts is pretty poor, they probably have something basic to keep off the worst of the chill but nothing cozy until they get to the city proper. Then the Elfsong Tavern has all these thick, furred blankets and she just cocoons herself and hisses when Astarion tries to touch her with his ice cold hands.

random fact(s):

(stealing your fact about languages >:3c) Morgan's native tongue is an obscure dialect of Elvish that is spoken mostly by Feywild Eladrin. I feel like she should have an unusual accent because of this but I kind of just like, write her with a valley girl accent because that's how I talk, lol.

her wild magic is very active and tends to surge in response to her emotions. She's learned to control her emotional responses pretty well and is a fairly zen person overall. She took up meditation after accidentally setting loose a couple of cambions in the marketplace during a heated haggle. Oxus is who suggested and taught her the techniques! Then during the events of the game, she starts joining Halsin in his morning meditations, which is how they start to grow close.

tagging @withersily, @collegeoflore, @eeblingtheshade, @grandmother-goblin, @thebearmuse and @bl3ss3dbyt1amat or like, anyone else that wants to do this ofc!

[pjunicornart]

The Lazy Four

I should preface this by saying that I actually don't really partake in the Futuristic Four shenanigans, but I thought this would be a fun exercise.

"Lazy Days" is a Meet the Robinsons AU I created. It's essentially an AU where the family are really cozy and chill. I thought, hey, what if the I put the Futuristic Four in the Lazy Days context? So, here they are. Note that I'm probably not gonna much else with these guys (besides Wilbur because he's part of the OG AU), because it just doesn't interest me. BUT you can, if ya want.

Brief Overviews of Each Wilbur - The bookworm. He's read every book in his family's library at least four times. He gave up gelling his hair back a while ago. Violet - The skater girl. Usually seen eating snacks on the curbside. She's a goth too, so... bonus points! Hiro - The baker. Helps out in his aunt's shop. In case you couldn't tell, his favorite flavor of ice cream is Neapolitan. Glitter addict. Penny - The pop star. Can be a bit of an airhead sometimes, but she's got a heart of gold.

Inspos Wilbur -> Nightowl by Igna Violet -> Caffeinated Horses by Tadpole Hiro -> Cosmos Love by Lexie Penny -> Sparkle by BlackIceMusic - Yes, I am aware these are all songs from the Brony community. What of it?

Ask box is open if you wanna know more about Lazy Days in general (as in, Meet the Robinsons only), or about these guys. Just note that this isn't exactly my fandom so bear with me.

[studyingpookie]

28/100 days of being productive

(new color for today, we need diversity)

What I did today:

-met with my friend 🥰🥰

-did some exams questions

-understood something from math 💀

-worked out 🦅

- obviously played once again you should have known that by now

-studied some physic

-studied for my history of art test

Hi guys!

What's up??? I think I haven't asked something like that here for....ever? I'm quite curious cuz there is almost 50 of you!

ANYWAY!

Today was quite... productive to say at least I mean... I think I'm gonna skip tomorrow morning class because I just don't want to be there. I plan on studing a lil more today so like no way that I will wake up tomorrow in..any sort of mood.. BUT! I dunno yet! I hope the class will get canceled tbh.

Also today I met with my friend in the afternoon and we ate, talked a lot and just chilled together.

I got home chilled for a bit talked with my other friend, went to the gym and locked up with studying...yeah before that I rot in my bed BUT ITS NOTHING WRONG.

Remember guys mental health before anything!

Also I tried today study with these films where someone is studying in the background.

Yeah totally not for me.. I dunno but somehow it annoys me that they have such pretty notes and mine look like shit 💀

Another statement. My energy drinks obsession is coming back and I'm literally so scared of it. I don't want to buy some crappy caffeine to function. I hope the ones that I had today will be the last one (probably not)

I wrote a lot for today but I guess I needed it. And I hope y'all had and will have a pleasant day:) also stay tuned for what I have in my bag guide!

Bye bye

[guillermosfamiliar]

nothing like a full circle back to WiP Wednesday to call me out for how little writing I’ve been doing lol!

tagged by @junebugclaremontdiaz & @hgejfmw-hgejhsf =)

“What time is it?” Henry murmurs.  “Nearly eleven,” Percy says. “I’ve never seen you sleep like that before. I was going to call for an ambulance.” Henry thinks he should feel worse about it than he does. Oddly enough, he still feels tired. “Fuck,” Henry sighs.  “There’s still coffee in the pot,” Percy says, “It’s probably cold by now, though.” He shrugs. “But cold coffee is better than no coffee at all. Henry’s response is a quiet, wordless grunt of agreement.  He rises lazily, dragging his feet as he moves mechanically though the motions of retrieving a mug and filling it. “Who’s Alex?” Percy muses. Henry coughs and sputters. Even with the chill of the caffeinated beverage, it burns his throat. “What?” Henry shakes his head. He puts his coffee mug down before sheepishly whipping at his mouth with the back of his hand. “How do you know about that?” Percy rolls his eyes. “He texted a few times, and then he tried calling you. He left some voicemails.” Percy raises an eyebrow. “He was very persistent. Should I be worried?” Henry snorts dismissively. “Alexander is harmless,” He says. 

Tagging some of the usual suspects: @barbiediaz @ninzied @mulderscully @snowblack-charcoalwhite @dreamsinthewitchouse

[rhondafromhr]

Nerds corruption au chapter 5!!

Thank you so much to everyone who’s been reading so far! This is the first thing I’ve written in literal years and all the likes/reblogs/comments have been super encouraging :) Also, quick update: I have an ao3 account now (same username - rhondafromhr), where I’ll be uploading what I’ve written so far. I’m going to adjust the formatting and fix any mistakes I happen to catch but other than that it’ll be identical. After this, I’ll probably just update there and post the link on here whenever there’s a new chapter. Unless anyone strongly prefers to read it in tumblr post format (I can always do both). Hope y’all enjoy!

Previous chapters:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

“We’re Gonna Become The Bullies” - Chapter 5: No Matter The Cost, Idle The Threat

Hey gang, I have another plan <3 Let’s all meet at Beanies when Max is done with football practice and I’ll give you the rundown

Suddenly, Stephanie’s a lot less excited to have her phone back. How did Grace even get her number? More importantly, why is somebody whose last plan almost ended in manslaughter out here cooking up more plans? Stephanie knows she probably shouldn’t encourage this, but her morbid curiosity is just strong enough that she’s compelled to reply: cool, see you guys there. This better not be about Grace’s campaign to cancel the dance. Stephanie may or may not have an itemized list of cute homecoming proposal ideas for Pete and she’ll be damned if she doesn’t get to use at least one of them. If only Grace could see that she’s totally wrong about co-ed dances. They’re not just an excuse to dry hump in the gym. It’s heavily in the mix, sure, but it’s not the only thing. There’s also underage drinking and dancing awkwardly. It’s an essential high school experience. Now that she thinks about it, Grace has probably missed out on a lot of dumb teenage shenanigans thanks to her sheltered upbringing. Huh, that’s actually kind of sad. Maybe if Grace is open to it, they can help her catch up.

Before she can ponder that too much, she notices Brad Callahan passing by in the hallway, which obviously means she has to stop what she’s doing to raise her fist at him threateningly and call him a weak ass bitch. He flinches and hurries along. God, she’s been doing that every single time she encounters him and it still hasn’t gotten old. She might feel bad if it was anyone else, but Brad sucks. The best part is knowing he can’t do anything about it. She’s beginning to understand why Max does this sort of thing.

She has a couple of hours to kill before they’re meeting up, so she opts to spend them in the library at least trying to get some homework done. Not her idea of a good time, but she figures she should keep her grades high enough that her dad doesn’t get on her case again. Between the better grasp of the material that she now has courtesy of Peter’s tutoring and once again having access to her favorite chill lo-fi study beats playlist on Spotify, it’s not as painful as usual and she manages to finish most of her math worksheet before heading out.

True to form, Grace is already there waiting for everybody when Stephanie arrives. She has two disposable coffee cups in front of her, at least one of which Stephanie assumes contains hot water (seriously, what is her fixation with drinking plain hot water? Even if she’s anti-caffeine, why not just drink herbal tea or something?). Stephanie orders a hot chocolate for Pete along with an iced americano for herself, then joins Grace at the cozy table in the corner. The dainty little bell attached to the door dings to indicate Ruth’s arrival.

“Hi, Ruth,” Grace greets her, sliding Ruth one of the drinks as she sits down “This is for you. It’s tea with honey, the barista said it would be good for your voice. Gotta make sure it’s rested up for the show!”

“Since when are you in the show?” Stephanie asks Ruth “I thought you were doing the lighting board.”

“As of right now, yes,” Grace answers for her “but if you saw her perform, you’d agree she should be the one up on stage, not Trevor.” She says his name with absolute contempt.

“I still don’t know about this,” says Ruth “What if we get in trouble? I don’t want this to affect my chances of getting into college. Everyone knows that’s where all the really spicy sexual experimentation happens, watch some porn!”

“Oh, that won’t be an issue. Haven’t you heard? I’m the hall monitor,” Grace replies.

“Wow, Chasity, no comment on the porn thing? You must be laser focused on whatever this plan is.”

“There’ll be plenty of time for Ruth to reconsider that vow of chastity later,” Grace says as Ruth emphatically shakes her head no “but right now the most important thing is to make sure that lead role goes to the person who actually deserves it.”

Max and Richie arrive next, barely taking notice of the rest of the group as they sit down. Max’s anxious energy is palpable (even if he’s no longer taking his bad moods out on them, he sure can drag down the energy in a room). Richie seems to be trying to talk him down.

“Max, there’s nothing to be worried about! You guys looked great at practice today. There’s no way we’re losing to Clivesdale tomorrow. This is what you’ve been training for,” Richie says.

Max doesn’t seem convinced. “Yeah, but that’s what I thought before the last game and we got destroyed. I don’t want to sleep outside again, it’s been getting really cold out! I could die from hypothermia and become a ghost. You know how I feel about ghosts, Richie!”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Richie asks, racking his brain to try and figure out the connection between losing the big game and becoming a hypothermic ghost.

“When we lost to Sycamore, my dad locked me out of the house and made me sleep outside that night,” Max explains “but this is fuckin’ Clivesdale we’re talking about. If we lose to them, it’ll probably be for a week straight.” Richie, Ruth and Grace stare at him in stunned silence. Stephanie just gives him a sympathetic pat on the arm.

“Max,” Richie says, gentle and reassuring “we’re your sworn friends now, which means we’re not letting you sleep outside even if you single-handedly make us lose to Clivesdale. Just stay over at my place.”

“But doesn’t Paul, like, hate me?”

“Oh, he does not hate you. He’s just a little weary of you on account of the years of relentlessly bullying me. He’s going to be out of town, anyway.”

“Ooh, we should all have a sleepover, then!” Ruth says excitedly “That’s where sexy pillow fights happen!”

Stephanie shrugs. “Sure. Beats going home.”

“Oh, that actually does sound fun! My parents would never let me go to a co-ed sleepover, though,” Grace says wistfully.

“Just tell them it’s an overnight bible study and maybe conveniently forget to mention that the boys’ll be there,” Stephanie suggests “if it makes you feel better, I’ll even let you read, like, one passage to me so you’re not technically lying.” This elicits the brightest, most genuine smile she’s ever seen from Grace. Stephanie hopes the passage is at least one of the cool, violent ones and not something basic like “Love is patient, love is kind.” With Grace, it could go either way.

Richie doesn’t comment on everyone essentially inviting themselves over to his house. He simply leaves the table and returns with two mint teas, one of which he hands to Max.

“Here. This always makes me feel a little better when I’m anxious.”

“What? Thanks, bro. That’s so sweet.” Max can’t remember the last time he felt so loved. He never thought he’d have friends who care enough about him to bring him tea when he’s stressed and not let him freeze in the Michigan winter all night just because he loses a game.

All this talk about freezing to death reminds Stephanie that Pete’s hot chocolate is getting cold. Beverages at Beanie’s are best consumed piping hot - the spit is less noticeable that way. Hatchetfield has its fair share of strange, unexplainable phenomena, but why the health department has yet to crack down on this place might be the biggest mystery of all. Why people still come here fully knowing about the spit thing is a close second. Peter finally arrives and gratefully accepts what is now essentially gross, lukewarm chocolate milk.

“Alright, now that everybody’s here we can get started,” Grace begins “As you all know, the theater department cast Trevor in the lead for The Barbecue Monologues. Trevor!” Once again, she utters his name with vitriolic hatred. “Obviously, this is an absolute travesty and it’s our responsibility to fix it. I watched the rest of that rehearsal and he completely phoned in ‘Just For Once’. He can’t even get his lines right, let alone understand the emotional gravity of that song like Ruth does. You can’t tell me it’s God’s will to have Trevor up on that stage instead of her!”

“So, how are we getting Trevor off the stage, then? I need to know how deeply I should regret getting involved in this,” Peter quips. To his surprise, he doesn’t actually feel all that apprehensive. If anything, he’s kind of intrigued, wondering how they’re going to pull this off.

“Well, tomorrow morning I’m going to arrive at school for my usual morning duties and discover a heinous act of vandalism. I guess Trevor and his understudy decided to pull a little senior prank.”

“Wait, we’re framing Rudolph, too? Isn’t it way too convenient that the lead and his understudy both get in trouble this close to opening night? It’s going to look suspicious,” Richie replies.

“Well, those two do everything together! It’d be weirder if they weren’t both in on it. In fact, they’re so close they have these adorable matching friendship bracelets that they never take off. Except during dress rehearsals, that is. You got them, right, Ruth?” Ruth produces two thin, handmade woven bracelets from her backpack. “And at the scene of the crime, apparently, because that’s where they’re going to be found.”

“The scene of the crime?” Peter echoes back.

“The gym. They had the audacity to spray paint…” Grace lowers her voice to a whisper so the rest of the café patrons don’t hear the absolutely vile phrase leave her mouth “…‘Go Clivesdale’ on the wall right before the big game!” The rest of the group audibly gasps. Richie chokes on his tea.

“Go Clivesdale?” he sputters, “isn’t that taking it a little far? Maybe we should just write some swears or something.”

“Or anatomically correct nude drawings!” Ruth chimes in “I have a ton of pictures on my phone we can use for references.”

“Ruth, no. And Richie, the whole point is that it’s too far! We need to do something severe enough for them to actually get in serious trouble. Do you want Ruth to get her moment in the spotlight or not?”

Of course he does. Ruth has been by his side for years and helped him through some of the worst times of his life. He knows how much performing means to her. How she’s been missing out on it for years not for lack of talent or passion, but simply because her anxiety holds her back. If she finally feels confident enough to get up on stage, he decides, he’ll do anything to make that happen. Besides, Grace’s last plan worked out pretty well in the end.

“Okay, I’m in,” Richie says.

“For Ruth,” Pete agrees.

“I still don’t know her super well, but sure, for Ruth,” says Stephanie.

“See, this is why I love you guys! This plan is so smart and sneaky. I’d usually just beat him up and scare him into quitting, but this is way more fun!” Max adds.

“There’s a thought. That might actually be less effort than breaking and entering,” Stephanie muses. She is, of course, purely concerned with efficiency and is not at all thinking about the adrenaline rush she got from beating up Brad and itching to feel it again.

“We’re not breaking and entering. I’ve been a little preoccupied lately and I just might have forgotten to lock the side door to the gym this morning. We’ll just walk right in,” Grace responds with a wicked smile “speaking of which, we should head over. All the staff should be gone for the day. Steph, you’re our getaway driver!” They all follow Grace out of the café, blissfully unaware that they lingered for twenty minutes past closing time.

While her coworkers grumble about entitled customers ignoring their posted hours of operation, Zoe smiles to herself. She caught most of that conversation and can’t help but root for those kids. Committing sabotage to steal the lead role like that? Iconic. They’ve also stolen her heart. She wishes she was half as bold at their age. Their drinks will be on the house next time they come in. Maybe she won’t even spit in them.

The next morning, principal Blim arrives at work feeling less than his best, to say the least. He kicks himself for agreeing to attend “Thirsty Thursday” on a work night - he’s in his forties, who is he kidding? He really needs to stop hanging out with his cousin Barry. That guy was sure “in a hurry” to slam as many consecutive tequila shots as possible last night. He really didn’t care for Barry’s sketchy friend that joined them, either. He got way too drunk and made some comment about locking his kid out of the house whenever his football team loses. The dirtbag seemed completely serious about it, too. He knows Barry’s been going through it with the divorce, but he’s going to have a serious talk with him about how he’s been coping and the company he keeps. He drags himself to the teacher’s lounge for the coffee he desperately needs, trying to ignore the obnoxious fluorescent lights boring into his eyes and making the pounding in his head exponentially worse. As he makes his way to his office, he begs whatever higher power might be listening for a calm, uneventful day. Said higher power must be feeling vindictive, because he’s immediately greeted by a crying, frantic Grace Chasity.

“Principal Blim, thank goodness you’re here! I was doing my morning rounds a-and I stopped in the gym and somebody wrote-“ she sobs “it’s so awful, I can’t even say it!”

“It’ll be okay, Grace. Let’s head over there together and you can show me.”

There’s no need to panic yet. Knowing Grace, this could easily be her reaction to something that’s mildly crude at worst. At least that’s what he thinks until they enter the gymnasium and he realizes she’s absolutely right to be so worked up. See, there’s a beautiful, haunting, hyper-realistic mural of a nighthawk flying over the Hatchetfield Witchwood on the wall opposite the bleachers. It’s been there for about fifteen years now, painted by a former student who was slated to go to a prestigious art school, but sadly went out into that very Witchwood one day and did not make it to the end of her senior year. Now that mural has been desecrated in a manner absolutely unforgivable. As he gazes upon with horror, he drops his mug and the sound of glass shattering on the linoleum floor echoes through the empty gymnasium. This is the foulest, most offensive thing he’s ever seen in his life. He can’t even begin to imagine what type of disgusting human being would do something like this. “Go Clivesdale!” Somebody had the nerve to write “Go Clivesdale!” over the Nighthawk mural! Right before the big game, no less! He’ll catch the perpetrator and make them pay if it’s the last thing he does.

[yell0wsalt]

If you get this, answer w/ three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs. anon or not, doesn’t matter, let’s get to know the person behind the blog!

Hey, hey thanks for the ask!

1. I like being active: walking my dog regularly, working out at the gym, generally all that kind of stuff. Weird to think of now since growing up I wasn’t like that at all. I did physical sports/activities, just wasn’t very good at them

2. And probably because I like to be active/busy, I end up drinking a lot of caffeine like coffee and such. Probably a concerning amount 😬 Should I chill out? Mm probably. Will I? Let’s stay tuned.

3. I’m tall. And apparently people seem to forget that since often people feel the need to tell me, “Wow, you’re so tall.” Or something along those lines. Like, this is not news to me, you guys 😂

No shade, I just find it funny

[skadren]

1, 2, 3, for Cloud.

8, 16, 23 for Vincent

13 for both.

50 random character asks

this is really long sorry so it's going under the cut

1. canon i outright reject

this is very very silly, but i absolutely do not buy that cloud uses fancy midgar-brand gel to dress his hair for almost an hour every morning. my opinion on the canonicity of ultimania content aside, i know plenty of people do consider the ultimania word of god, so. yeah. no.

he's not buying expensive hair gel from midgar when he's chasing sephiroth across two continents and a half and also is a fugitive from shinra with a death penalty on his head. nor before that when he's half-vegetable and being dragged towards midgar itself (while, again, on the run from shinra, with a kill-on-sight order on his head). even back in his days as a trooper there's no way he had 45 minutes to do his hair every morning when the military probably only lets you take like 2 minutes to shower full stop

also, you're telling me that cloud "doesn't take his shoes off on the bed" strife spends almost an hour each day on his appearance??? no. it's stupid. fight me.

2. a canon or headcanon hill i will die on

cloud feels no particular attachment to his biological father. sure, he's heard a couple stories from his ma, but he really only cares in the capacity that he knows his ma cared about this man who he doesn't actually know and has next to zero impact on his life

he grew up without any real positive adult male figure present in his life in the first place; the biggest one was always brian lockhart, but all of cloud's interactions with him were distinctly (traumatizingly) negative. it's a big reason why he never felt like he particularly even wanted a dad. (it's also one reason why he latches so hard onto the heroic but distinctly young figure that sephiroth provided.)

he's faced a bit of difficulty with how the other villagers in nibelheim viewed him for growing up without a dad, but his ma protected him from the worst of it. when he's older looking back on his childhood, he realizes that she had a much harder time than he did, and just how strong she really was to raise him all on her own, without him ever feeling like he was lacking parental care.

cloud may have grown up without a dad, but ironically he may be one of the main characters with the least daddy issues.

3. obscure headcanon

this comes up in blood and wine and i think also elegy so it's maybe not obscure, but i've also never run into anyone else with this hc, so. i hc that cloud is caffeine sensitive. he was already caffeine sensitive before the mako, but his enhancements sort of kicked it into higher gear

this has never really come up because everyone assumes mako burns through most drugs much quicker than average, which it usually does. but it can have interesting interactions with some stimulants that are woefully understudied, and may never be studied again (alongside anything else related to human enhancement with mako, if cloud himself has anything to say about it)

8. unpopular opinion about them

i don't actually know if i have any opinions about vincent that are unpopular... i feel like most people who care that much about vincent tend to be chill and leave differing headcanons and opinions alone. i do know that people who aren't vincent fans tend to think he's just this emo edgelord intended to be all cool and badass (which may or may not be positive or negative, depending on who you ask), which. i mean. he kind of is, but also he's a massive dork underneath all that. i think the dork part is key to understanding his character.

16. deepest darkest secret they won't even admit to themselves

vincent has a lot, and they're all related to his wants, because this man has shinra-brand catholic guilt. he thinks wanting things is selfish and he doesn't deserve any of it and therefore he shouldn't want it etc etc etc. he'd like to think he has a good understanding of himself (as all turks should) and so he knows exactly what he is (a monster) and exactly what he deserves (to be treated like one) therefore he knows better than to want anything at all.

(but he still wants.)

23. if they were a scented candle, what would they smell like?

i don't know candle scents at all but uhhhh. pine? sort of outside woods-ish? that smell when you step outside from a hot and crowded building and take a deep breath of the cool night air, crisp and fresh in your lungs

and also some hints of cinnamon and nutmeg. maybe. for the sake of keeping it a feasible candle scent.

13. dumbest thing they've ever done

for cloud: he'd say it was falling for shinra's propaganda and leaving nibelheim to join the army. and yeah that was probably the biggest mistake he made, but the dumbest... there was one time as a trooper where he snuck into the science department on a dare. he was caught by the turks before he saw anything irreparably unethical, but if they hadn't already had an eye on him as a potential recruit (and suitably impressed by his ability to get past security), he probably would have been disappeared

for vincent: before dirge, he would probably say it was failing to do anything to save lucrecia and her son. after dirge, he'd probably say it was failing to realize that lucrecia never really loved him for him in the first place. it's actually that one time he and veld got bored during a stakeout on a mission and started playing poker because "there's no way he's gonna show up now after thirty-four hours", only for it to escalate into strip poker, only for their target to in fact show up mid-game and lead to a half-naked car chase through at least five major streets in midgar and a disciplinary hearing

[silver138]

Perfectly Flawed - Chapter 15

word count - 1.8k

warnings - Canon-typical violence, some Google translate. The only word not translated is cariño, which is Spanish for sweetie. Again, as far as Google says!

Summary: Lina gets coffee and then to work on her first case.

I wake up to my alarm, stretching as I quickly turn it off. I shuffle into the bathroom and get ready for the day. As I prepare, I can't help but feel both excited and nervous. It's not a date or anything, just chill, girl... I think as I try to calm myself. After doing my hair and makeup, I finish by putting on a mostly casual outfit.

As I go to put on my shoes, I check the time, and see that it's quarter after 9. Chewing my lip, I debate with myself about whether I should give Spencer a text or not, when my phone chimes.

Hey Lina, I know it's earlier than the time we talked about, but I figured I'd head out now to get to where we said we'd meet. I hope I didn't disturb you.

Half-smile on my face, I text Spencer back.

Nah, you're ok, Doc. I was debating on texting you, as a matter of fact. I try to err on the side of 'early' rather than 'late'. So, I guess I'll see you as soon as the Metro gets there? Oh, also, did you want me to order you some coffee so it's there as soon as you get there?

Sliding my phone back in my pocket, I grab my coat and purse and head out the door, making sure it's locked. I start walking down the stairs to the sidewalk outside when I feel my phone go off again. Trying to suppress a smile, I check it.

Yeah, that sounds great, actually. See you soon, Lina. :-)

Grinning at seeing he's gotten into the emoticons, I text him back once more.

Did you want the same thing as last time, a venti black coffee?

Strolling down the sidewalk to my destination, I'm pleased to see that it's not as busy as I thought it'd be for a Saturday. Stepping into line, I feel my phone go off once more and check it.

Yes, that would be wonderful, thank you.

Putting the phone back into my pocket, I hitch up my purse higher onto my shoulder and wait. As I look around at the shop, I see a bunch of college students loading up on caffeine, probably in preparation to study. Sighing, I feel glad that in 2 weeks I won't have to worry about any more exams.

Slowly, the line winds down and it's my turn to order. I step up to the register and say, "Hi, could I please get a grande mocha and a venti black coffee? Name's Lina, L-I-N-A." The cashier nods and starts marking the cups, and I swipe my card to pay. After my order is in, I walk over and grab a handful of sugar packets and a stirrer, as well as some napkins.

I walk back and wait for my name to be called, and after a few minutes, I hear a call of, "Lina?" and see 2 drinks being slid forward. 

Grabbing them, I say, "Thank you!" and try to find an available table. Finding one close to the door, I settle in and set Spencer's coffee in front of the seat next to me and place a few napkins down, with the stirrer on top, and the pile of sugar packets next to it.

Pulling my book out of my purse, I start reading to pass the time as I wait. After about half a page, I hear my name being called. "Hey, Lina. Hope you weren't waiting too long." Spencer says as he walks up to the table. 

Grinning, I tell him, "Nope, only been sitting for a few minutes. Your coffee's right here, Doc," motioning next to me. 

He sits down, a small smile on his face as he starts putting sugar into his cup. "So, uh, how was-how was your morning?" he asks me, carefully stirring his coffee and taking a sip. 

I stir my coffee and say, "Oh, it's been ok. Quieter than during the week. I'm guessing I should relish that?"

He laughs and says, "Yeah, quiet can be pretty nice. Sometimes, it feels like those times are few and far between..." Taking a sip of my coffee, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. Eyebrows furrowing, I pull it out and see it's Penelope. Looking over, I see Spencer take his buzzing phone out as well, looking at it with a sigh.

"Like I was saying..." he says, before answering his phone with a "Yeah, Hotch?" 

I answer my phone, tentatively saying, "Hello?" 

"Hey there, my young Padawan. Work calls, and therefore, so do I. We've got a case." Penelope tells me. 

"O-oh, ok, um, I guess I'll be in as soon as I can, then," I say.

"Sorry for cutting your Saturday short, see you when you get in." Penelope apologizes, then hangs up. 

I look over at Spencer as I put my phone back in my pocket, and as he does the same, he says, "Well, duty calls, right?" I nod, and we walk out to the Metro, waiting for the next one into work.

As we sit on the bench, he looks a little melancholic, and says, "I'm sorry, Lina. I was afraid this would happen." 

I look at him a little quizzically, and ask, "Why are you sorry? We were called into work, it's not like you blew me off or something. I'm guessing this is the price you pay when you save lives."

"I, yeah, when you put it that way..." he says thoughtfully. 

"Besides," I say with a small laugh, "You did say we could hang out when we get back," 

"Well...yeah, yeah, I did. Sounds good..." he says, mood seeming to lift slightly. We sit there, making small talk as we wait for the vehicle.

When the Metro gets there, we board and sit together, still talking. When we get to the office, we're greeted by Elle and Derek, who give each other looks, raising their eyebrows, then turning to us.

"Reid, does any blood run through your veins, or is it all coffee by now?" Derek teases, pressing the button for the elevator. 

As we wait, Spencer thinks about it for a second, then turns to Derek with a creased brow and slight grimace, and says, "Morgan, you know very well that's a physical impossibility."

Raising his hand fruitlessly, then gesturing for us to board the elevator when it opens, Derek sighs and says, "It...it's a joke, Reid...never mind...anyway, how're your mornings' going?" 

I take a sip of my coffee, waiting for someone to respond, and when no one does, I remark, "Not bad. Far more active than usual for me, though."

"Yeah, that's for sure," Elle says with a nod. "Hopefully, you'll get used to it quickly enough, it's nice to have more mujer on the team." she continues, smiling at me. I bite my lip and nod, and I must have a confused look on my face, because she then says with a slight chuckle, "Women, cariño, it's nice to have more women on the team."

"Oh, ok. Sorry, I took Italian in high school, I, uh, I thought it would come in handy far more than it actually has..." I say, awkwardly shuffling my feet and looking down. 

"Hey, Songbird's multilingual. How about hittin' us with a little of that Romance language?" Derek says, grinning and wiggling his eyebrows a little.

I laugh and then stop for a moment to think, then say, "Ricordo solo un po' di italiano." After a moment, I say it again in English. "I can only remember a little Italian." 

With a chuckle, Derek says, "Hey, that's more than I know. Do you know any others?" 

"I, um, I know a few words of German," I say, shifting from one foot to another.

With a ding, the elevator opens, and as we walk out, Spencer softly asks me, "Wie viel Deutsch kannst du?" (How much German do you know?) 

His breath tickling my ear and sending shivers through me from the closeness, I manage a stuttery, "Ein bisschen." (A little bit.) 

He nods his head in acknowledgment, then smiles and says, "Danke für den Kaffee," (Thank you for the coffee.) before starting to walk off. 

Grinning, I call out, "Gern geschehen, Doktor!" (You're welcome, Doc!) and slowly walk in behind everyone, looking for Penny.

After everyone has walked into the room, I poke my head in, seeing Penny already at the table. Quickly making my way over, I sit in the empty seat next to her, turning to the screen. After we watch, Hotch pauses and says, "This happened in Beechwood, New Jersey. Mr. Fisher had ingested LSD one afternoon and didn't come down until 18 hours later."

JJ jumps in, "The hospital reported 6 other patients who ingested LSD in the last 24 hours. The hospital called the CDC, the CDC called us." 

Derek asks, "So, a bunch of people got spiked. What makes it a BAU case?" 

Hotch answers, "They each received 10 to 20 times the normal dose."

"It's enough to kill a small child." Spencer muses. 

Elle adds, "Or cause a grown man to kill him with a tire iron." 

JJ continues, "Of the seven victims, there was one death and one coma. This is from the hospital's security footage the same night Fisher lost it." She then changes files and unpauses the recording, showing a waiting room in chaos.

After a few seconds, Gideon says, "These people didn't get spiked. These people were poisoned." 

As that sinks in, Hotch looks around the table at us and says, "Wheels up in 20." 

We all get up from the table, and Penny says, "Here we go, your first case. I'll fill you in on what to do as we go, ok?"

As I follow her, Spencer jogs up to me with a duffle bag in his hand and says, "I'll, um, see you when I get back? Raincheck for, uh, hanging out?" 

Smiling at him, I nod and tell him, "Yeah, absolutely. Hope Jersey's good to you all, Doc." He jogs off, giving me a shy smile and a small wave. 

I turn to Penny, and she's looking at me with her eyebrows raised, open mouth turning into a devilish smile. When we get to the room she tells me she's dubbed the 'Command Center', she sits in her chair and puts her headset on. As I do the same, she tells me, "You know I'm gonna ask about it later, right?"

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