#i specifically didn't want to commit to reading it from the start because i'm also trying to play the yakuza games

[wrongplaceworsttime]

me considering getting back into opm like:

i’ll just read the whole thing! oh wait that’s 160 chapters? hmm nevermind then, i’ll just read the monster association arc. that’s when i left off anyways, so that means i start at... chapter 78?? you mean this single arc is over half of the entire series at this point?! wait... if that’s the case then why not read from the beginning? 

or i guess i could always go find the last chapter i was caught up with and start from there... but that was years ago and i doubt that i remember the specifics of the arc :/

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I tell a couple I'm a mistress for both of them?

this is a long one and a very weird situation but here we go. I (28F) have been seeing two people recently. I've been seeing C (30F) for a little over 5 months and M (29M) for almost 6 months. both relationships are currently in a state of non-commitment, even though I've expressed feelings in both relationships and theyve been reciprocated, but I'm naturally not a super commitment-focused person and both of the people I'm seeing have respected that a lot, so yeah.

anyways, both relationships have been great and I'm incredibly happy w them, and since neither are committed to me I've kind of just assumed that both C and M were likely seeing other people as well even if we haven't talked about it.

WELL. about a week ago C came over to my place to spend the night, which she does like once a week or every other week. she goes to take a shower and I start gathering laundry and grab her stuff to throw in with mine and take her phone out of her jeans. I glance at the screen and see a few texts from a contact called "my love <3"

I was kinda surprised by this because while not talking to me about casual relationships is not something I would care about, the contact name made me think she had a more serious relationship going on, which I don't mind but would like to be informed about.

soooo okay I did an admittedly asshole thing and read the text. and then read a few more. and it became apparent that this was a REALLY committed relationship. like, I love yous, I'll be back home soon, please remember to grab so and so from the grocery store, stuff like that.

the contact picture looked kind of familiar too so I clicked on it to see better and it ended up being a picture of M.

I kind of flipped at this bc this is kind of a ridiculous situation, and I left my apartment for some air. I came back like 30 minutes later and C was waiting for me and confused where I'd been (she didn't see/hear me leave since she was still in the shower).

I apologized to her for looking at her phone but told her that I saw the texts from her partner, and that I was feeling kind of hurt that she hadn't told me that she had a more serious relationship going on, since she knows I value transparency. I specifically did not mention that I was also dating M or knew who he was because I felt I needed to scope out the situation more.

she ended up breaking down in tears and spilled everything. told me that M is her husband, that he doesn't know she's been seeing me, that shes felt so conflicted and guilty because she loves him but has really grown to love me too, that she feels wrong and dirty for keeping everything secret. I'm upset that I've been made into a mistress without knowing, but I try to talk to her about everything, we end up staying up super late talking and crying and pouring our hearts out. I still don't mention that I'm dating M too because I feel like I need to talk to him about this before any big decisions are made on my part.

I ended up inviting M to stay at my place a few nights later, and I confront him about the fact that I know he has a wife (made up something about my friend seeing them out together) and ask why he's kept this from me. his reaction was really similar. guilt, not understanding why he's attracted to two people at once, saying he very deeply loves C and doesn't want to leave her but really loves me too, says he's confused and doesn't know what to do. I don't mention to him that I know C or that I'm dating her.

I asked him if he's heard of polyamory before, and he said yes but he doesn't know anything about it really. I ended up encouraging him to maybe talk to his wife to see if that's something she'd be interested in, but he was terrified that she'd be hurt by the suggestion.

I really do love both of them and don't want to leave them. I've been poly for a long time and am very familiar with navigating ethical non monogamy, and to me this feels a lot like two poly people struggling to come to terms with and accept a facet of their sexualities, and they're just navigating that confusion and self discovery in ways that are...not great. but, I want to give them grace for their mistakes I guess?

so this is the part where I think I might be the asshole if I go thru with it. I've talked with both C and M separately about talking to their spouse about what's been going on and about polyamory in general, and they're both fucking terrified and really don't want to. so, I was thinking of inviting them both to my place at the same time to hash it out (without telling them that the other person will be there, since they still don't know I'm dating both of them). I think once they realize they've been dating the same person things might be easier to navigate, and will force them to confront what's been going on?? but also idk if springing this on them is the best thing I could do, but I really have no idea how to navigate this differently.

to be frank, if they love each other and both love me, my ideal outcome is that we continue things as they have been but with no secrecy and 100% transparency. I'm also afraid that even though they've both been seeing the same person and have expressed interest in polyamory after talking about it with me, they might feel personally betrayed by each other and everything could backfire spectacularly, AND I could possibly explode their whole marriage.

so, WIBTA?

What are these acronyms?

[thewertsearch]

We're got a couple of assorted asks about quadrant dynamics here. Since they're all related, I'll answer them as a single post.

@galaxa-13 asked: I personally never saw Feferi being annoyed by Eridan talking about feelings with Karkat because he was only supposed to talk about them with her, but rather because he ONLY talked about them with Karkat. She had to do all the heavy lifting in their relationship by making sure he didn't commit genocide, and then didn't get to unwind with some romantic gossip. If my platonic boyfriend never talked to me, but did with others, I'd question him too. @lilietsblog asked: I never read Feferi as being jealous of Karkat in a violating relationship exclusivity / cheating on her way. I read it as a playful "why aren't you talking about stuff with me? is it because you've already talked it all out?" where Eridan was very much supposed to read between the lines and undersatnd that she just wanted him to tell her about his red crushes (awkward, that…) While I'm sure there are specific rituals trolls /only/ do with their moirails, my overall impression is that trolls normally just… don't form relationships close and trusting enough for emotional support like that. The quadrants help by making it semi-mandatory to find SOMEONE. (Also I'm actually sure that a healthy moirallegiance would be reciprocal with both partners pacifying each other, it's just the hemospectrum version of gender roles)

You may have a point. Eridan was clearly a poor moirail from the start - probably because he never actually wanted to be Feferi's moirail. To him, the quadrant was clearly just a stepping stone to matespritship, so he wasn't invested in its dynamics. Feferi's not really angry about Karkat, here - she's just a little frustrated about how one-sided their moirallegence has turned out to be.

That said, I do still believe that quadrants would work better if they were polyamorous - even if this particular scenario doesn't illustrate my point as well as I thought it did.

@morganwick asked: I mean, some would argue that placing undue emphasis on monogamy beyond what's actually healthy or natural is true of human romance as well. But part of what might be going on here is that on Alternia, it's not a good idea to let knowledge of your fears, doubts, and weaknesses spread too far, lest it mark you for culling. Best to vent to a single person who won't tell another soul. (See also how Vriska is saying things to John she wouldn't tell any other troll.) @bladekindeyewear asked: "At the end of the day, I do think moirallegiance is a good idea. I just don’t think it really works if moirails can’t be poly." What if they CAN be? People with naturally polyamorous inclinations are few and marginalized on present-day Earth, and Alternian society seems set up to STOMP OUT the marginalized. Quadrants certainly exist, but how much of their rigidity and the pervasive troll view that you only have "one true fated partner(s)" for each quadrant might just be cultural?

I think a monogamous system of moirallegence is probably all that Alternia could handle. Sustaining a polyamorous quadrant system would require a level of emotional maturity that the average troll simply isn't going to have - and, like you said, it might be dangerous to widen your circle more than is actually necessary.

I still think the trolls would benefit from such a system, though. On Alternia, it simply wasn't to be - but the Alternian Players now have the chance to build an entirely new culture. Who knows what new dynamics they might discover?

@lilietsblog asked: I don't think Hussie "jumped the gun". I think Hussie was messing around with the very idea of "what romance should be like". Trolls don't care about what gender their partners are, and have a different system of confusing rigid rules that no two people understand quite the same and that don't work out in practice that way anyway, instead. The quadrant system was never intended to be a serious worldbuilding project any more than Troll Will Smith

See, I get what you're saying - but the difference, in my opinion, is that that Troll Will Smith was a one-panel joke, whereas the quadrant system has informed our understanding of troll relationships for the entirety of Act 5. Unlike Will, quadrants have stayed relevant, and they've been critical to understanding many of the Alternians' key character moments.

That's not to say that quadrants aren't partially a joke. Frankly, I don't think any of Homestuck is entirely serious - but I do think quadrants are 'real' in the context of the story, and should be analyzed as a legitimate part of its world.

@bladekindeyewear asked: One last bout moirails-- Andrew in his asks has said that the idea behind each of the Quadrants IS supposed to match up with real human relationship and friend dynamics we already understand, making them relatable but w/ a romantic drive that isn't quite human-analogous. Trolls biologically compelled to enter them before understanding them, a challenge "particularly tortuous for young trolls" (p2393), plus the 600 hour session makes sense of Eq/Nep's relationship's drastic evolution to me.

I've always been a little skeptical about this whole 'biological drive' angle for the quadrants - mostly because there are plenty of human biological drives that are either overstated, misinterpreted, or outright fabricated.

That's not to say that the trolls don't have some sort of compulsion to seek out quadrants. If it does exist, though, I hope it slowly fades, now that the trolls have left their planet and its expectations behind.

[cuntess-carmilla]

Alright, let's try a thought exercise!

This thought exercise requires us to start by agreeing that women are an oppressed class (cis women, trans women, non-binary people who at least partially id as women or woman-adjacent).

If you can't concede that as a basis, then keep scrolling, this post isn't for you. I'm not here to convince MRAs that systemic misogyny – aka the patriarchy – is real. Alright? Alright.

I think we can all agree that, besides the institutional oppression faced by oppressed groups, they all also face acts of individualized concrete violence (which are then vindicated by institutions and/or sociocultural disinterest or even active acceptance).

You know, that thing we call hate crimes? Acts of violence committed against an individual by mere reason of an aspect of who they are which makes them oppressed and/or marginalized.

We discuss women as an oppressed class as well, but, save for specific feminist factions (largely, non-liberal feminists from the global south), no one really talks about misogynistic hate crimes.

Even though misogynistic men murder women and girls for no reason other than their own misogyny every day. There are exceptions, of course, but most of the time, when a man kills a woman it's not to steal from us, not as revenge for something shitty we did to them, not because we were in an altercation and it simply happened. No.

It's because "if I can't have her, then nobody can have her" (women as property), "she rejected me" (woman denied sex or romance to a man who wanted it), "she was trying to leave" (culmination of domestic violence), "she made me feel emasculated" (reaffirming masculinity through violence).

We're raped and otherwise sexually abused ALL the time as well, and our perpetrators are by far mostly cis men. I hope I don't have to go into detail on how that's related to misogyny.

Chile has pretty progressive femicide legislation as of somewhat recently. The legal definition of femicide went from being "male partner or ex-partner who murders his female partner or ex-partner" to "any killing of a woman for reason of her gender", which explicitly includes:

Women killed by men they were never involved with but who acted out of jealousy/possessivenes or as revenge because they were rejected.

Women being killed by men for being gender non-conforming.

Women being killed for being trans, lesbian or bisexual.

Women killed by men because they were sex workers.

(So, no, before the MRAs who kept reading get their panties in a twist, femicides in Chile are not defined as every single time a man kills any random woman. The motive for the murder has to be patriarchal bigotry in some form and that has to stand to scrutiny in court.)

If we accept that, like in the Chilean legislation of femicide, any act of violence committed by a man against a woman due to patriarchal bigotry is a misogynistic hate crime, shouldn't we be more alarmed with how astoundingly common and NORMALIZED hate crimes against women are?

How many women and girls do you know who have been sexually abused by a man or boy? How many which have been beaten? How many women do you know who have controlling and violent boyfriends or husbands or fathers or older brothers? How often do you hear about a woman who made it out alive by the skin of her teeth from the hands of a man who was absolutely going to kill her? And the ones that didn't make it? How about when misogyny intersects with race, disability, transness, gayness, socioeconomic class, religious minorities, and so on?

I firmly believe that the only reason we don't talk about these things as misogynistic hate crimes is because, despite being oppressed, women aren't a numerical minority. But, rather than that giving visibility to the violence we face, it invisibilizes it even more. It became society's normal to have approximately half of its population constantly subjected to hate crimes, to the point that there's whole TikTok trends dedicated to turning it into a joke (the "joke" where men pretend they're trying to suffocate their girlfriends with a pillow for being annoying) and until very recently it was perfectly ok for standup comedians to joke about it too. Precisely, because women are an oppressed class and violence against us is both socially sanctioned and encouraged, when it's hyper-visible, it becomes at best a fact of life that deserves no one's attention, and at worst it becomes a recurrent joke.

I, personally, believe that femicides and the largest portion of rapes suffered by women are misogynistic hate crimes, as are many other instances of violence women are used to now and that we deal with as a natural(ized) aspect of living as a woman. Which I know will get me called all sorts of names and slurs, but I can't see where my logic is failing.

[cuephrase]

Of the DC comics you've read so far, what would be your top recommendations for people to check out/what have you enjoyed the most?

when i tell you i have been thinking about this all day- i have been thinking about this. all. day.

so disclaimer, as of writing this, i have only read 31 runs from start to finish and 18 arcs/events outside of those runs. on top of, everything i've read so far has been strictly robin-centric, so dick, jason, tim, and damian. (i have read all of steph's robin appearances lol, but i haven't gotten to reading material for her, like say batgirl 2009, yet.) i've also decided not to rec from any run i'm currently reading, so for example, you won't see any batman: gotham knights recs here. because i'm most well-read on the robins, i'm only going to rec for them.

also, i'm going to operate under the following assumption: you've got a basic knowledge of the robins. none of these are where i would necessarily recommend anyone start reading about the boys, but i do think they'd be pretty interesting if you're already somewhat familiar with them and don't want to commit to reading whole character backlogs. does that make sense? i hope that makes sense.

alright, let's do this!

DICK GRAYSON

oh god. this one is actually so hard because he has so much great stuff, but then also i have like a love/frustrate relationship with so much of it. like for instance, i really enjoyed The New Teen Titans, but also lowkey can't stand space adventures so whenever that went down i was like 😀👍. but okay. hmmmm.

i have two preboot recs, with explanations + caveats.

devin grayson's mob!dick arc, so Nightwing 1996 #99-100, 107-117. caveats: it doesn't really get to finish playing out/wraps up weird because of editorial changes/infinite crisis. but!! it's a super interesting look at how dick handles...failure. how he values himself in light of that failure.

tomasi's run, but specifically #147-153. (listen, i love the dick and tim moments in 'freefall' but the whole eternally pregnant lady thing was too weird.) this is classic, hyper-competent dick, okay? he's such a bad-ass. and an idiot- bro literally flops his severely injured ass over the bars of his glider and rides it UNCONSCIOUS back to the batcave. i can't with him. poor alfred. anyways, he deals with two-face, always a good time. and then at the end, as a treat, he cries because bruce is dead. so fun!! what was my caveat here? oh yeah, he has a girlfriend. i don't remember her name, she serves like...very little purpose, the whole relationship is very minor/background okay, but like it was so unnecessary. he can be single, dc, it's okay.

for post re-boot, just read tom taylor's run!! it's the best thing ever!! zero complaints!!

HA. yeah, just kidding. that run is very like/frustrate for me lol. oh man i'm struggling here. it's not all bad okay, i'm just really picky, and i haven't re-read any nightwing n52 and onwards since my first foray into comics (8 months ago) so my memories of these are the foggiest and i'm not sure how i feel about all of it in light of what i've read now. yk what, i'm just going to...not rec anything. sorry!!

JASON TODD

his comics either go so hard or they're absolute ass, why is there no in between. istg, i can't figure out why writers struggle with him so much?? well. i mean, i do have theories. but you didn't ask for those!

pre-boot:

detective comics #569-574. robin!jason in the hands of writers who like him is so much fun. which, don't get me wrong, i don't flat-out hate how starlin writes him, but i think you get a more well-rounded view of jason as robin when you also see him in 'tec. jason and bruce tangle with the joker, scarecrow, + mad hatter, and all of those adventures are...idk if they were intentional foreshadowing okay, but reading those and knowing where the story goes? oof. especialllllly #574. caveat: #572 is pretty light on jason, but he is great when he's on panel!

reboot:

probably a very basic answer but rhato rebirth (2016) #1-13, annual #1. i abhorred n52 rhato so i almost skipped rhato rebirth since it was still written by lobdell, but i'm really glad i didn't. i really enjoy jason's relationship with bizarro + artemis, but especially with bizarro because i think jason struggles a lot with feeling like a doomed creation, so yk, parallels. i want to say more but i know i'll get too wrapped up in discussing jason so i'm just going to stop myself.

i actually really enjoyed task force z, too. i think about tfz #8 so much, jason is such a manipulative little shit and i love it. he's so- i can't. i can't get into this rn, it deserves its own post(s).

overall for jay, i need people to read something other than utrh/lost days/b:ul 1-6. i love those, i do, but they aren't the only good pieces of jason content!!

TIM DRAKE

MY BELOVED!!!!!!!!!! in my heart of hearts, i just want to rec his whole robin run lmao. dick was my intro, okay, he is why i decided to start reading comics, but tim, specifically his robin solo is why i'm still reading comics. hooked me fr. and young justice 1998, ugh love. but it has been a minute since i read these as well, so hmm. okay okay okay

pre-boot:

batman: prodigal. short version, tim is robin to dick's batman. super fun. there's a solid amount of dick and bruce angsting too, which, love. tim is honestly just thrilled that jpv is out of the batsuit and even happier to working with dick. very cute.

robin #46. listen. they're all superheroes okay, they all feel pressure to save people. but tim...losses get to him. the amount of times that he gets shoved to a breaking point and then...gets back up. keeps going. *screams*. anyways!! this is not tim getting back up, okay? this is him being shoved way, way down. it's so good.

teen titans 2003 #20. tim's dad has died. he shows up for his weekend at the tower anyways. he is not okay. that's it, that's the pitch. i did not like...mmm at least 80% of this run okay, but a few of the issues HIT and this was one imo.

reboot:

*deep sigh*. look. tim is not tim for like basically all of n52, although there are moments here and there were he feels like himself. i did not like his 2023 solo, the best parts of young justice 2019 imo are the character designs, (except for his drake costume, what was that omg), and i haven't read any rebirth batman/'tec yet. except for zdarsky's run. which. tim is good there! but yeah, not really a whole lot of material to work with + very limited reading experience atm.

DAMIAN WAYNE

god, i love this kid. nature vs. nurture fascinates me, and so much of his story digs into that on top of trying to figure out who he is apart from all of that. i will say, i'm not a huge talia fan and by that i mean, i have no idea who she is "supposed" to be, like i have no frame of reference for that atm, so if you are a huge talia fan these recs might not hit for you because from what i've observed from her fans she is not well portrayed a whole lot since becoming his mother? i think one of the things that is normal is dick absolutely disliking her though, which cracks me up. there's this older batman story (batman #322-335) where bruce works with talia and dick goes running to selina and i was so entertained. what were we talking about? oh! damian!

preboot:

batman and robin 2009 #10-12. damian is struggling, with a lot of things. the fact that bruce might be alive, what that means for him and dick, and his mother's puppeteering. there's this line that kills me: "can't you just love me for who i am? not what you want me to be?" and the thing that gets me, is the use of who vs. what. because he could have said, "not who you want me to be", but he doesn't

reboot:

batman: shadow war. this is post-alfred's death, and honestly, most damian stuff post city of bane is pretty juicy, but there's this specific moment in shadow war: alpha #1 that had me speechless. just like 😧 i love bruce, but that man has some of the most chronic foot-in-mouth disease. oh but fair warning, for whatever reason they don't draw dami's mask connecting?? it's so- it drives me nuts.

JUST FOR FUN

these are just two issues that i enjoy for the brother content!

nightwing 1996 #25. dick and tim's relationship makes me ILL. *ahem*. this issue is mostly just super cute and fun, (there's like 0.2 seconds of angst when tim asks dick if he ever thinks about jason 😭) and i adore it sm. fun fact, it's actually one of the first comics i ever bought!

batman 2016 #16. unfortunately, tim is not here for this, but duke is! jason and damian's interactions in the background of bruce's Very Serious Speech are excellent. bruce is so dramatic and his kids are so unserious.

what i've most enjoyed

i've enjoyed the majority of what i've read, even titles/events i wasn't particularly looking forward to but had on my tbr for whichever character. i'm going to break down most enjoyed into two catergories, arcs that i loved top to bottom and then the guilty pleasures. this is not an exhaustive list, just what immediately came to mind.

top to bottom

bruce wayne: murderer?/fugitive. shocker, ik. but it's just, it's just so frickin good. i've said before, and i'll say it again, gotham war could NEVER. this right here is peak batfamily drama. the tension? the mystery? the angst? i knew nothing going into this okay, and truth be told, when i started it i was like "oh joy. another event." because i was just trying to read the 1996 nightwing run, but i'd committed to reading in full all the events it crossed over with. but i was invested so quickly. and like, i loved how the narrative supported the possibility that bruce was the murderer, because like, you know there's no way, but the more that comes out the more damning it is, and so you're like really dying to know what actually happened and i feel like the reveal was satisfying.

batman: city of bane. i'm going to cautiously put this here, because there might have been something i didn't like but i cannot recall it for the life of me right now. something about me is i love when the heroes lose. infinity war, empire strikes back? love. and ik bruce takes back gotham, but they lose alfred, okay, they lost. i also didn't expect to like this arc, i decided to read it because i wanted to know how alfred died. and first of all, i was shocked, even though i knew it was coming because i expected it to like happen towards the end. but nope. just *snap*. and then later when bruce is back in the manor and is confronted with alfred's body and his good-bye message? oh. my. god. i was bawling. despite my penchant for sad narratives, i don't tend to cry that much, but this got to me so bad. like i had to pause because i couldn't see. amazing.

red robin. his cowl is so ugly, but i really do love the run. i see a lot of discourse about it and also a lot of...interesting fanfic takes, so i don't really talk about it a lot here because it feels like most people are kind of tired of hearing about this run, which fair. i really enjoyed it as a sequel to his solo robin run. tbh, i almost put this in the guilty pleasure catergory, because there are a couple things i don't totally love, but like if the others are 10/10, this is 9/10.

young justice 1998. i love this comic so, so much. i don't even know what to say, i get so overwhelmed with joy when i think about this comic. nothing has hit the same way with this group since either, which is a crime. i need a title with this team so badly.

guilty pleasures

these are all runs/events i know some/most? people cannot stand and i totally get why, and i have problems with them, so i'm probably never going to rec them in good conscience but also like i can't lie and say i don't like them. these are not recs, okay? okay.

robin war. is it a hot mess? yes. but there is not a whole lot of canon content out there with all the boys working together, okay? so much of that event had me banging my head into a wall, but for me, there were a handful of pearls in there. i mean honestly, if i listed out pros and cons the cons list would be way longer but those pros are very precious to me.

batman and robin: eternal. very similar reasoning overall to robin war. plus cass finally came back!! i missed her. i love robin!dick and batman content, and the kids working together. this is probably my least favorite guilty pleasure though, okay, it's on thin ice.

grayson. listen, i love janin's art sm. i'm pretty neutral about spy stuff, so like i don't engage with it a whole lot. meaning, although i've heard it's tropey af in regards to the genre, i'm not familiar enough with the genre to be like trying to dig my eyeballs out with blunt spoons at the cliche of it all. the constant sexualization of dick got old super fast, and her name may have been helena but she wasn't- my list of dislikes is lengthy. but idk, i had fun with it. and imo it does have some genuinely great moments, i love dick in the desert with the baby, the ache i felt when dick wanted to come home and couldn't get ahold of bruce, issue #12 stabs me in the heart- the dick and dami reunion? stoppppp. i feel like this run and the ric grayson era are dick's most out there lmao

so yeah!! thank you so much for this ask, i had sm fun answering it. if you have any recs for me, feel free to drop them :)

[bettyfrommars]

hi loves

a wee announcement/bit of reflection below the cut

nothing heavy, just some thoughts & updates

First of all, I want to say I love this fandom so much. Truly I do. It has carried me though possibly the hardest, loneliest year of my life (and this ol' girl has been though some dark times). I've made friendships here that I hope to cherish for the rest of my life.

I came into fanfiction in October of last year, after not writing anything substantial for almost a decade. My dear friend at the time said she was looking for a specific Eddie Munson story, so I wrote it for her. I wrote it in first person because I didn't even understand how "reader perspective" was a thing, that's how wet behind the ears I was to this world. My friend, on the other hand, is a well-versed fic reader, and I distinctly remember messaging her like, "okay, what the hell is a Y/N??"

I spent that entire dark, cold winter writing and passing it to her in parts like notes in a classroom. The rush of getting back to something I loved so deeply after so much time away turned me into a monster. I lived and breathed that story. We sent endless messages back and forth every day about what each character would do next, imagining ourselves in that world, with Eddie. We made playlists, we cried. We screamed and giggled and kicked our feet when they finally kissed. We mourned the loss when it ended and moped around a bit before going back to read it all over again. Some 40k words and four months later I realized, holy shit, I think I write fanfiction now?

In a way, fanfiction saved my life. It brought me back to a part of myself I had buried, a part of me that worried it might never see the light of day again. It came crawling out of the ground, gasping for air like, "you better stretch your fingers bitch because I have a lot to say."

In April, I started posting here when the fandom was notably beginning to wane, but I was happy to see there were so many still going hard for our man. I kinda creeped in, like a little scuttling crab, and was grateful to find that a handful of you embraced me.

Long story short, I am NOT leaving, not at all. I know the tone is there, but that is not what this is, lmao. I will hopefully keep this blog for as long as you will have me. I plan to finish writing I'm on Fire and Death Becomes Us, as well as maybe another bit for gargoyle!Eddie, and nightmare!Eddie, but the other series I've started (or planned to start) will stay on hiatus for a while, possibly forever. I will continue to post blurbs and hc's and whatnot, but I won't be committing to any new series or long fics.

My masterlists will remain intact for the time being for those who want to enjoy what is there. That being said, The Nightmare Factory and Stop the World and Melt with You, might be taken down in the future only because I plan to re-work them into original stories. I have a second non-fandom blog in the works that is dedicated to monsters, nightmares, and magic realism, and I will let those who are interested know about it when the time comes.

Mostly, I wanted to let you know that, even if you notice some changes, I will continue to persist with "My 2 Joe's" delulu era, possibly until the earth swallows me up. I am no longer taking requests, but my asks will always be open for thots, blurbs, obsessions, etc. You know how much I love hearing from you.

That's all really. Perhaps this is simply one of those "end of year" thought dumps, but I also wanted to say a heartfelt Thank You to those who continue to support me, enjoy my work, and share it. My Ride or Die monsterfuckers and biker Eddie enthusiasts. My nightmare Eddie dreamers, my Twilight Zone Eddie pineapple heads. My gargoyle Eddie romantics who cheer on our Stone Boy, and my Hybrid Steve lovers who leave their windows open at night. My True Blood friends who appreciate a vampire Eddie who is nothing like Bill Compton. My darlings, my fellow rebel rousers and misfits, my friends.

This is a very symbiotic relationship, and I could not/would not do this without you ❤️

[olderthannetfic]

Hi OTNF!! Sometimes I like to read this fandom problem blog that receives submissions from people all over Tumblr, recently this was posted and I wanted to know what you thought of it: The tag types of "Tags update as story is written" or "additional tags to be added" or "Rating may change." Fuck those. I don't care if you add some extra benign tags as the story goes along, and you realise you wanna add more content that's just there, or you realise your fic maybe went a bit harder than you expected. Some stories get their own life. But at the same time, if you knew you'd want to add certain content, or that the rating was gonna go way up from what you tagged in the beginning, why did you not tag it from the start? Especially when the tagged content becomes a big part of the story, or influences the story strongly. And then you find out that the Author already had been planning adding this type of content for a long time, they just FOR SOME STUPID-ASS REASON didn't wanna add the tag until it actually happens. You're supposed to tag so the people can make an informed decision if they wanna commit to your fic, so for the love of the tagging-system, actually TAG ALL YOUR SHIT FROM THE START. Same shit for changing ratings. I hate it when someone plans from the start to make the story explicit, but doesn't change the rating until they've reached the NSFW sections. There's a reason there's a tagging system. So do you just not understand how that works? Or are you just being kind of as ass on purpose? This does not help when avoiding stories with specific content you try to exclude from your results. It's even dumber if the reason is to "avoid spoiling the fic readers", because anyone coming later to the fic is going to be "spoiled" by the tags regardless. And if you know you wanna add porn, or gore, then rate the story appropriately. Rather categorise it too high, than fuck around with people who don't wanna read explicit content. As a writer who uses the Archive, I want to put my 2 cents in. When I'm writing a fic, a long fic for example, I want to tag the stuff that actually DOES appear at that time so that I'm not clogging other tags/people don't think I'm spamming to inflate my readership (And I DEFINITELY do not want something I worked hard on to get reported for spam). I do get the frustration at reading a fic and then something changes like the rating, but as a writer, sometimes things go off script and one thing that's rated T or M might eventually become E just based off the writing juices doing it's thing(tm). To me, the "Additional tags to be added" is kind of like CNTW, it's something the reader has to make a decision if they want to risk getting invested/read that particular fic. It feels very much like a "damned if you do/damned if you don't" situation. What are some of your thoughts on something like this?

--

Writers are always going to vary in their favorite approach, and readers who act like there's one right answer are idiots.

For me personally, even if I'm posting as I write, I do have a solid idea of where the fic is going, and I strongly prefer—both as a reader and writer—to have all of the tags in place at the beginning.

I also don't like over-tagging for warnings and only want to see/use tags for the basic main content of the fic, which does make it easier to know ahead of time than if I tagged every tiny thing.

I think spoilers are a dumb reason not to tag things.

So I agree with the complainer's tastes...

...but at the same time, they're acting like these ought to be rules, and AO3 is designed to accommodate a lot of different people with different styles, so I think their attitude leaves something to be desired.

[lazywitchling]

Alright, here we go. My review for The Dabbler's Guide to Witchcraft by Fire Lyte

Final rating: ??/10 - it broke my numbers system.

TL;DR - I like the book. I'm angry at the author. It's great for new practitioners. If you're going to get it, please get it from the Spiral House Shop, get Alex Wrekk's two witchcraft zines to go with it, and go look at/reblog/contribute to the original Dabbler's Week project.

(Also I think this is the longest review I've written yet. I'm sorry.)

This book is very good. I'm mad about that. The author is an excellent writer. I'm mad about that. I want to dislike this book but I can't, and I'm mad about that.

So let's get into the breakdown of why.

First up, a housekeeping thing: "Fire Lyte" is a pen name that I don't believe the author uses anymore, so I will be referring to him as Don Martin, the name he is using on his current projects. I know he's on TikTok, formerly of Inciting a Riot podcast, now of Head on Fire podcast.

Second, some links relevant to the review-which-is-actually-just-a-rant:

The breakdown of things I found that were taken uncredited from Tumblr

I COULD be making this up and reading it in bad faith, but this bit about 'heteronormative marriage' has my alarm bells ringing

Why I hate the title of this book

The original Dabbler's Week project links

Anyway.

I picked this book up specifically because of the title. It's been 3 years since it was published, so it took me a while, but I remember looking at that title when it was first out and thinking "Hey... the timing of this... did this person just wholesale lift the 'Dabbler' idea from Tumblr?"

The answer is: Yes, probably!

(He also summarized the Malachite Dick post from February 2020, but he actually credited Tumblr along with relevant usernames, so that's good and also made me laugh.)

But... yeah. The fact that he's crediting Tumblr from something that specifically happened in February 2020, when the original Dabbler's Week was from late January 2020 and seems to have inspired his whole book? Don, would it have killed you to mention ANYTHING about that project and the people involved?

He's very big on talking about following trails of information, listening to podcasts, listening to the podcasts of people talked about on those podcasts, reading books talked about on those podcast, and so on. But if he doesn't start off by saying "Dabbler's Week was a project issued by asksecularwitch on Tumblr", then how is anyone supposed to follow THAT chain of information, hmm? If his whole advice on finding good witchcraft resources is to follow the chain of people who are sharing information from each other, but he makes no mention of where he got the whole idea for his book, then what?

Side rant: I'm real tired of how Tumblr information is simultaneously treated as too shitty to ever bother reading or mentioning, but good enough to screenshot, repost on other sites, recite word-for-word on tiktok, and apparently write a book about.

ANYWAY. I'm angry about it. I'm gonna be angry about it. Here, please look at these links to the shenanigans that began the original Dabbler's Week, because Don certainly won't tell you about this part.

Anyway.

Some bad things:

I mean, the plagiarism. I keep hesitating to use the word 'plagiarism', because to me that seems like wholesale lifting entire works and slapping your name on them, when all Don did was fail to credit a few Tumblr users he quoted. But then again, if I did that on a research paper in college, it would be called plagiarism, so.

This book is in fact not a great guide for 'dabblers'. The point of Dabbler's Week was that if someone didn't know if they wanted to commit to witchcraft but wanted to fuck around with casting some spells for a week to try it out, there were week-long guides on things someone could do to try that. This book is not for fucking around with magic, it's for people who are already sure that they want to make this a thing in their lives. It handles some heavier topics (e.g. vetting mentors and not getting sucked into a cult) that are very very important for someone who is BEGINNING, but may be too much for someone who just says one day "lol I think I'll cast a spell for fun". A far more accurate title would have been "The Beginner's Guide to Witchcraft", but then he'd lose that punchy and marketable and googleable term 'dabbler'. (Yes, I'm going to be petty about this.)

"Wow Jes, it sounds like you really hated this book."

NO I DIDN'T, AND I'M SO MAD ABOUT THAT!

Some good things:

The author has a writing style that I enjoyed very much. This is a personal preference, but I like when books are either written so that the author is fully invisible (Bree Landwalker's books do this wonderfully), or the author is fully visible, like they're sitting at the table having a conversation with you (Kelly-Ann Maddox's 'Rebel Witch' comes to mind, as does Alex Wrekk's 'Brainscan 33: DIY Witchery'). Don Martin is the table conversation kind. That makes this book very easy to read, while also getting information across in an easily-understood sort of way.

This book fills a very necessary gap in modern witching books. It talks about the online community of witches, and a lot of the pitfalls that have come along with the bonuses of having so much witchcraft available at our social-media connected fingertips.

He gets very in depth with things like cultural appropriation. That's something that you can find in a lot of modern witch books, but Don actually spends the time breaking the concept down and explaining WHY it's harmful, HOW it affects people, and quotes people from the affected minority groups. I have seen the appropriation topic come up in a lot of the witch books I've read, but Don is the one who has covered the topic the best, imo.

He spends time on topics that I myself would have been dismissive of. The example that comes to mind is the chapter 'Can I Make Sh*t Up?' My knee jerk reaction was "Yes, you can make your own spells, you don't need to get someone else's permission. Next question." But Don goes through the full breakdown of yes you can make up your own spells, yes you can make your own correspondences, but no that doesn't mean you can just throw a water soluble crystal in your water bottle because you think it's good for cleansing.

Actually on that topic, he covers a lot of the why not just the what. It's not just 'appropriation is bad', it's 'and here's why'. It's not just 'research your herbs', it's 'here's some examples of things that can and have gone wrong.'

SPELL CANVASES! There are 11 'spell canvases' in this book, and they're pretty much all just kids/teens science experiments (e.g. dissolving an egg shell in vinegar, lighting a tea bag on fire so it flies, and using food dye to color a white flower). He does not give intentions for these spells, but gives a spell technique and then some examples of how you could apply your own purpose/intention to it as needed. It's actually pretty smart, and now I wish there was more stuff like this.

He actually explains what UPG means. Man, 'UPG' is one of those things that I keep seeing as a 'I don't know what that means and I'm to afraid to ask' blog post. When someone pops into the witchy social media circles, we can throw the term 'UPG' around as if everyone knows what it means, and forget to actually explain that it's Unverified Personal Gnosis and what that means. Don's got us covered. Good on you, Don.

The one throwaway line about why you don't have to buy fancy witch things. Tucked away in chapter 12 is this almost nothing-sentence mentioning why you shouldn't be "going broke hoping to buy your way into 'effective' magic" (pg. 161). I have seen, reblogged, probably written posts about 'No you don't need the fancy tools! You can just use whatever! But you CAN buy them if you want, you just don't NEED them.' And we've all seen those around, right? But damn, if Don didn't just get to the heart of it. You can't buy your way into skill. YES, Don, THAT!! THANK YOU.

Alright. I'm running out of words. This isn't a review, it's a rant. Holy shit. Let me shut up with a TL;DR

Almost without doubt, Don liked Tumblr's idea enough to write a book about it, but failed to give credit. But he's an excellent writer and covers a lot of topics that are not often written about in printed books, and to get those blogosphere-ideas onto bookshelves is invaluable. This is a good book for beginners starting out in witchcraft, but not for dabblers who just want to screw around with some spells. Do the pros outweigh the cons? Is it ethical to buy a book when the author gets royalties but the bloggers he got the idea from do not? I don't know. I can't tell you that. You'll have to weigh all this against your own moral compass and decide for yourself. My recommendation is that if you're going to buy it, please buy it from the Spiral House Shop, because if Don Martin's going to get paid for this book, Alex Wrekk should too. Buy Alex's zines. Reblog Sec's posts. Links are up at the top.

[avianyuh]

heelllo i love your work btw, i want one also with nct127

i was thinking a MLT....

So imagine the boys having gf, they are in a very toxic relationship, but bc of work they start to spend a lot of time with a fellow artist ( they've always had a crush on her) so they hit it off right away, and have so much in common.

who's mlt break up with their current gf for their crush and why

Hmmm very interesting idea. Here's my list:

*btw, TY for the compliment. I've been kind of going through it with college lately, and writing on here is where I have fun and get to connect with all of you beautiful people. You guys make me smile and encourage my love of writing! Love all of you guys so much!*

NCT 127 MTL To Leave a Toxic Relationship and Move On Fast:

I'll be going from most likely to least likely.

MOST LIKELY:

Doyoung:

This man doesn't strike me as the type to put up with someone's negative ass. I've always gotten the sense that Doyoung knows his worth, and knows that he deserves better. So, not only would I see him not sticking around in a toxic relationship, but I also see him as the type to go after what he wants. If what he wants is someone else, he would break things off with the other person. But if it's toxic, and he's not happy, I don't think he'd have a guilty conscience.

Jaehyun:

I've read a lot of NCT astrology, specifically all of the placements that involve romantic relationships. Whenever I read about Jaehyun, everyone writes that he would be very detached in a relationship. Especially if the relationship didn't mean much to him. So, not only do I think it'd be very unlikely for him to stay in a toxic relationship, mainly because I think he'd be like, "fuck this, I'm out of here", lmao, but also because he sort of strikes me as a non-commitment type and people like that leave very easily.

These assumptions about Jaehyun are mainly based off of stuff I read in astro readings so I and everyone else should take that opinion with a grain of salt.

Haechan:

Sassy. Like Doyoung, I think he doesn't put up with bs. I also see Haechan as the flirty type. I'm not sure why, but over the years I've seen him grow into a more confident guy and he's very unapologetic with a lot of things he says. That's why I appreciate him so much. But I think he'd be honest and sit the toxic partner down, explain why it won't work between them, and then happily move on with the other person.

Slay.

Yuta:

He's kind of in the middle because though I see him as someone who knows his worth and knows he deserves better. I'm going to bring in some astrology again. Yuta is my scorpio king. Key word here; Scorpio. Scorpio's hate change. They also get attached very easily. And Yuta is a very obvious scorpio in my opinion lmao.

So though I think he knows he deserves better, and would have someone else in mind. I think having someone else in mind would make him feel like a cheater, or at the least, guilty.

So, I think inevitably, he'd cave and break it off. But I think he'd keep his distance from this new person even though he'd still be interested. I think he'd need some time to adjust.

Johnny:

PEOPLE PLEASER.

Johnny strikes me as the type of guy to have everyone around him pleading for him to leave the shitty ass relationship, but he comes up with every excuse in the book.

"Oh she was having a bad day...", "She was just tired", "She had just gotten home", "She was hungry", blah,blah,blah.

Meanwhile everyone is collectively rolling their eyes lmao.

So yeah, I could see him developing a crush. But I think that it would take quite awhile for him to leave. And even longer to start over again.

Johnny gives me 'tough on the outside but softy on the inside' vibes. I think he'd need some time to adjust before starting with someone new, just like Yuta.

Mark:

"Aye, uh, hah, so, yeah I just...uh...don't think we're good for each other dude. Um, are you gonna be okay? Shut don't cry. Ah, man I feel really bad about this but...I don't know. I met someone. NO, but I uh...Like, I'm not seeing anyone else but you. No...you know...infidelity, is that what they call it? I'm not trying to joke or anything. Oh man, how do I explain this. You know, there's probably a really good sing that would explain this situation really well, but uh, I don't remember it. Oh snap, do you? No? That's okay...I uh, just think we'd be better off as you know...um, what do they call it...oh! Friends hahaha"

*My interpretation of how this conversation would go if Mark had to break up with someone. I'd like to add that there'd be a lot of fleeting eye contact and him putting one of his hands either behind his neck, on top of his head, or snapping his fingers a lot every time he said "Um, Uh or Oh". Cue Party in the city where the heat is on. All night, on the beach till the break of dawn. Welcome to Miami. *

Mark would not only feel quilty, but would have a struggle breaking off the relationship. I think the above statement explains it.

Jungwoo:

Girl, I'm gonna be honest. Jungwoo is the 127 member I know the least about. Because of that, I have a hard to writing for him lmao. I don't know why, he gets promoted enough. I think it's because he's pretty private. Like, remember when it was announced that he has a famous actress sister. But that was a year or two ago. He's been in NCT since 2018 lmao and we just found out about his sister.

Here's the things I know about Jungwoo: 1. He's a great singer.

2.He likes to work out.

3.He's very soft spoken.

4.The man knows how to do halloween correctly.

5. He's a college boy with an engineering degree.

6.His sister acts.

Anyways...all I can really get out of Jungwoo is that he seems to be a little sensitive. Maybe that's because he comes across as quiet to me.

But because of that impression I get from him. I would say that he would be the type of guy to stick out the toxic relationship for as long as he could. Not because he's happy, but because toxic people take advantage of sensitive, kind people and convince them to stay.

Do I think he would eventually leave? Yeah. Not sure how long that would take though.

Taeyong:

*Clears throat*

Baby don't like it, whiplash. Both are songs he had a part in writing. Both speak about submission, or in BDLI, cheating/emotional cheating/jealousy.

You would think that because of the songs he's writen he'd be higher up on the list, right? WRONG.

This man has shown that he's weak lmao.

Not only is TY the ultimate people pleaser, but he's also THE MOST sensitive. I'm pretty sure every NCTzen has seen TY cry at least once.

He doesn't want to be viewed as the bad guy. I'm not eern sure if he'd leave. And if he did, I'm not sure he'd be 100% ready to move on. I think guilt would play a huge part in almost all of the groups decisions to either leave, stay or move on.

[malicedafirenze]

I unintentionally skipped a lot of the romance content in Baldur's Gate 3 and I want others to learn from my mistakes:

So: I managed to lock myself out of romance entirely and ended up alone, which was a huge bummer and a serious crack in my motivation to play the game. I finished my playthrough (because I was already close to the end of Act 3 when I realized it), and plan to do another one eventually. I'm making this post in hopes of a) keeping others from making the same mistakes and b) to possibly get some additional insight re. what to watch out for in my next playthrough.

PSA: Pick a Partner before Act 3

The key learning here for me was this explanation from the poly mod

In BG3, romance is divided into 2 steps: dating and relationship(also called partner). Dating is basically where you are at after the 1st romance scene. Relationship is where you are at after the 2nd romance scene (relationship also unlocks the kissing menu). BTW, If you enter A3, all dates will break up with you (partners won't, ofc).

I hadn't realized this until well into Act 3, at a point where going back to a save to properly fix it would have meant replaying large parts of Act 2 as well - I decided to finish my run instead and then start a completely new one later.

Note: lots of spoilers below. (click here to read this post on reddit instead)

My Romance Woes

I read in advance that you couldn't romance multiple people (except for the specific Halsin combos with Shadowheart and Astarion) and therefore turned down Gale and Lae'Zel early in the game (not realizing you could just date/bonk them without fully committing or getting anyone upset)

I didn't take approval all that seriously, thought I'd have more opportunity to fix things later. I was playing pretty good guy, and ended up with high approval for Karlach and Shadowheart, but low for Astarion. Weirdly, I don't recall an option to romance Shadowheart (no clue what I missed?) and the only option I had for Karlach was at the Tiefling party, where I went with Astarion instead. I had a scene or two with him, but then didn't progress further in the relationship, without really realizing what I was missing.

I wanted to romance everyone, sat on the fence for too long, and ended up not romancing anyone at all, by missing a thing or two in act 1 and 2 and being too late to fix it in act 3. Don't be like me, it feels bad man.

Early Act 3, I got Astarion's breakup dialogue ("we haven't spent a night together in some time" --> him explaining it was just transactional and he doesn't see the value in it anymore) and got super worried, but when trying to look up if I'd messed up, I didn't find a clear answer for without more spoilers, so I just continued playing Act 3, including all of the companion quests.

I later learned that I missed out on at least one important Astarion romance interaction by not going to Moonrise Towers until after freeing Nightsong. (when the Towers are already on high alert, i.e. I could only fight and not have a lot of conversations)

After realizing I had messed up companions romance, I instead fucked everyone it was unwise to fuck (Emperor, Mizora, Harleep...) for fun and to see what would happen... but chickened out and reloaded after Emperor and Mizora. Still, got to enjoy some fun content that way!

The ending I got (going to Avernus with Karlach) was really cool and made me cry a lot. I then did try to reload my last save though, to see if I'd get any other epilogue content if I didn't go to the Hells, but... apparently that scene on the docks (Astarion goofily running off, everyone kinda agreeing to go party after this, no other conversations with anyone again.... is just... it?

Idk how much of this is the lack of romance, but I really felt like something was missing there. I at least wanted to talk to everyone again one last time.

This is a post about my romance failures and regrets so I'm not gonna talk about everything else that I loved about the game, but just in case this is getting a bit too negative: I had an absolute blast with the whole game regardless, I'm stoked to give it another go the "proper" way (i.e. with romance). I also generally think it's really fucking cool that this game's romance options depend on how you behave, and that you can't just e.g. give someone the right kind of gift 20 times in a row to make them love you, like it works in games like Stardew Valley.

Next Playthrough Plans

I'll probably wait for another patch or two - considering how much got fixed and tweaked with the first three patches, I suppose it's worth to wait a bit and see what's coming

I'll play with the Poly mod next time and try to romance all of the Origin characters.

I plan to play with the camp notifications mod, as well as the approval ratings in dialogue mod. Both in hopes of being able to game the romance a bit better and get much of the romance in one playthrough

I'll play Dark Urge (haven't seen any of that so far!), but probably still go for a "good" playthrough mostly

I plan on equipping & levelling all Origin companions and switch them out more freely, in order to get approval from everyone and edit my party as makes sense depending on story events (e.g. take Lae'Zel to the Creche, take Gale to the Ketheric fight...)

I want to romance everyone. I already saw some tips for early game Astarion approval and assume the aforementioned mods will help in optimizing this

Am probably not gonna do anything all that differently otherwise because my heart can't take an actually evil playthrough

Aand that's about it. As mentioned, I'm mostly posting in case this helps anyone else.

I was really damn sad when I realized I had locked myself out of all romance, because the romance was a significant part of my motivation to start playing this in the first place. At the same time, I loved so much about the game that I still got a lot out of it in 110+ hours even with minimal romance content.

If you see any red flags about my plans for the next playthrough (or if you have experience with the mentioned mods!), I'd appreciate comments and insights. Other than that, here's hoping others can learn from my mistakes. Thank you for reading <3

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Books of 2024: July Wrap-Up.

This month, I picked my knitting back up with a vengeance, started a Three Sentences Writing Challenge, AND participated in several work-adjacent Social Events (who am I, even), On Top Of accidentally nerfing myself with several brick-like books, so! This little stack isn't half bad. Photos and/or reviews linked below:

ORDINARY MONSTERS - ★★ This was a miss for me, y'all, AND it was a brick, so it took a hot minute to read. I wanted it to be better than it was, but it rambled and wandered Too Much (which, coming from me, you KNOW is bad). Salty also-rambly 1.5k review linked.

IF FOUND, RETURN TO HELL - ★★★½ Way cuter than I was expecting!! I had a good time with the second person. Hugely relatable (which. wild. all things considered.).

THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE - ★★★½ Funnier than anticipated, and very readable for something out of the '50s! I see why it's a cornerstone of the (sub)genre. Glad I have a copy on hand now.

THE ACTOR AND THE TARGET - ★★★★★ This Rewired My Brain. It took me three (3) weeks to get through. It was so good. If you're a writer, definitely check this out, 10/10 recommend.

WHEN AMONG CROWS - ★★★½ I checked this out from the library because hardback novellas are Expensive if you're not sure you vibe with the author's style, but I had a good time! Witcher fans should descend on this, I think.

ALWAYS COMING HOME - 76*/618 pages read; will report back later. I asked the People about this one, and the People have Spoken (read: this won my What Do I Read Next Poll), but I may or may not have miscalcuated how many brain cells I have available lately between work and writing, so I may or may not be cutting this with library books. I'll finish it. Eventually. (*asterisk because she keeps referencing Other Pages In Line, and every time she does I jump ahead to read those pages instead and then come back to where I was. I'm dual wielding bookmarks through this tome, it's an Experience™ so far!)

Under the Cut: A Note About ~*★Stars★*~

Historically, I have been Very Bad™ about assigning things Star Ratings, because it's so Vibes Heavy for me and therefore Contingent Upon my Whims. I am refining this as I figure out my wrap up posts (epiphany of this month: I don't like that stars are Odd, because that makes three the midpoint and things are rarely so truly mid for me)(I have hacked my way around this with a ½). Here is, generally, how I conceptualize stars:

★ - This was Bad. I would actively recommend that you do NOT read this one, no redeeming qualities whatsoever, not worth the slog. Save Yourself, It's Too Late For Me. Book goes in the garbage (donate bin).

★★ - This was Not Good. I would not recommend it, but it wasn't a total waste or wash--something in here held my interest/kept my attention/sparked some joy. I will not be rereading this ever. Save Yourself (Or Join Me In Suffering, That Seems Like A Cool Bonding Activity).

★★★ - This was Good/Fine/Okay/Meh. I don't care about this enough to recommend it one way or another. Perfectly serviceable book, held my interest, I probably enjoyed myself (or at least didn't actively loathe the reading). I don't have especially strong feelings. You probably don't need to save yourself from this one--if it sounds like your jam, give it a shot! Just didn't resonate with me particularly powerfully. I probably won't reread this unless I'm after something in particular.

★★★½ - I liked this! I'll probably recommend it if I know it matches someone's vibes or specific requests, but I didn't commit to a star rating on Goodreads. More likely to reread, but not guaranteed.

★★★★ - I really enjoyed this!! I would recommend it (sometimes with caveats about content warnings or such--I tend to like weird fucked up funny shit, and I don't have many hard readerly NO's). Not a perfect book for me by any means, but Very Good. This is something I would reread! Join me!!

★★★★★ - I LOVED THE SHIT OUT OF THIS, IT REWIRED MY BRAIN, WILL RECOMMEND TO ANYONE AND EVERYONE AT THE SLIGHTEST PROVOCATION (content warning caveats still apply--see 4-star disclaimer). Excellent book, I'll reread it regularly, I'll buy copies for all my friends, I'll try to convince all of Booklr to read it, PLEASE join me!!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for refusing to file for disability in order to pay bills?

I quit my job right when COVID started surging in 2020 because my boss refused to mask and I'm immunocompromised; I also didn't wanna bring that home to my partners (I'll call them Fox and Rabbit), one of whom is also immunocompromised, or our then-toddler kid either. (Plus, my boss wasn't paying me consistently on-time or the full amounts I was owed, but that's another can of worms)

However, I wasn't able to find anything work-from-home (I have auditory processing issues that make phone jobs impossible, plus we didn't have internet so I was just hotspotting off my phone to get online), and because of lockdown, safety concerns, and lack of a vehicle, I couldn't really get an in-person job either, so I did as much as I could taking care of household budgeting, conflict resolution, and looking after our 3-4yo kid along with Fox (who did most of the actual housework, as I wasn't able to be outside my room much because I was severely allergic to the pets there at the time).

Rabbit (kid's bio-parent) became work-from-home after a brief stint on unemployment due to their employer fucking around, staying over with their coworker/other partner (I'll call Rose) for the internet, and our other roommate contributed to rent until he moved out, so we were able to stay afloat and safely isolated for a while at least, and I started teaching our kid to read and write as my main share of the household contribution, which everyone at least claimed to be fine with.

Fast forward a bit, and both me and Rabbit got extra people in the household mix; a partner who I'd been involved with online for some time (Chomps) moved in with us, and Rabbit married Rose and moved in with her officially, with the kid staying on non-workdays with them and otherwise being looked after mostly by Fox and I. Eventually, with leases on both our places running out but with all of us outspokenly committed to working together, we all moved into Rose's parents' house (while they were overseas on vacation; they wanted caretakers there to look after Rose's younger sibling, who is disabled). Rose's parents--who are also polyam and very well-off--offered to bankroll a new home for all of us so we didn't have rent to pay for a while and could just catch up on things. Chomps even secured a decent-paying job. Things were going very well!

Then, a significant wrinkle came when Chomps needed to quit due to COVID concerns (anti-vaxxers in a high-risk environment, no vaccines available for small kids yet so we were mostly worried about the kid as we'd all been vaxxed at that point otherwise). At the time, everyone agreed that was a good idea! So, everyone braced for financial belt-tightening, and Chomps quit.

At this point, I was barely eating one meal a day out of guilt for my inability to contribute much, but I was also homeschooling our then-pre-k-into-kindergarten-age kid, and helping cook food and handle chores. Due to both Rabbit and Rose working from home and complaining of connection issues whenever anyone else used internet, me and Chomps could barely job-hunt (our phones didn't really get signal out there either), and without the ability to drive or a consistently-available vehicle, we worried constantly about providing for the household. Still, Rose and Rabbit reassured us that it was fine and getting handled.

Until one day it apparently wasn't, and Rose started getting onto me specifically (having been jobless for a couple years at this point, only getting two interviews despite putting in literally hundreds of applications) about filing for disability. Her opinion was that I could "just be on it until [I] got a job". That is not how disability works, and I told her as much, and refused to even start that process instead of continuing to look for work that I could feasibly do (which, frankly, was already taking as much time and effort as a full-time job, just with no financial benefit).

Granted, I could probably qualify for disability benefits, since I have physical and mental issues that make my range of possible employment pretty limited (though, as I'd been able to put in hundreds of applications to things I was sure I could do, it's far from impossible for me to work). However, the type of disabilities I would most easily and likely qualify with are the kind that would also very probably have my autonomy removed (this has been confirmed by two doctors and a therapist independently of one another). Plus, I'd be unable to marry Fox (as we'd agreed to do years and years ago) or get a job again without risking the loss of any benefits I could manage to secure, and also making it incredibly hard to recover those benefits if/when I further deteriorated down the line due to age, injury, or other factors and actually couldn't physically work.

So, while continuing my (unexpectedly unsuccessful) hunt for employment beyond a once-monthly gig that paid ~$75 (which is how I bought my own essential toiletries and groceries), I homeschooled the kid (which was a success, to the point that they later rolled into 1st grade with reading, writing, and math proficiency well above their peers!!), did most of the house troubleshooting and repair, and used as few resources as possible to minimize my impact on household finances, to the point that I averaged eating only one meal each day for years. Still, AITA for not just biting the bullet and giving up on the job hunt to prioritize securing disability payments?

(It's been about two years since that point and our current situation is stable despite partial dissolution of the polycule, with Fox and Chomps both working and paying the entirety of my portion of "rent" on the place Rose's parents bought her, while I continue to job-hunt with help from the state's vocational rehab dept. Fox and Chomps reassure me every time that they can see I'm doing my best and they're happy to take care of me as needed; I still feel fucked up about not being able to contribute financially and take care of them and everyone else in the same way, and wonder all the time if I made/am making the right call by refusing to pursue disability benefits unless I absolutely physically cannot work.)

What are these acronyms?

[hcguesstheauthormessageboard]

For anyone interested in guessing but not sure where to start, I suggest finding a piece from an author you enjoy (one who's on the official list posted by the event blog) and honing in on something that really stands out about the style. Look for format, personality, tone, things like that.

From there, you can poke around to see if there's a style match within the event. For me, this meant literally opening every work and searching for patterns that matched (though it did help that I'd read a lot of works before I started guessing).

While casually reading one work, I froze because I recognized a headcanon that was way too specific to be coincidence... but I'd also lucked out in having read that person's work the day before, so luck can play a part too, haha. Or maybe I was tricked. Who knows.

If you look, you'll definitely find clues in someone's style, even if you feel silly scrutinizing. It's all fair game. Sometimes I narrow down to 2 or 3 people and then select someone based on the vibes their tagging style gives me, like if they use non-canon tags or only canon tags. I tagged my content exactly the way I would've tagged if not anon even though I think I have very specific tag habits, so take that as you will~

If you're nervous to check text style, you can also check titles. I had several pieces in a batch I was trying to guess. I suspected I'd found the person, but I couldn't find the last piece the event blog claimed they'd wrote (I was one short, but I was SO confident).

I think I went through every work 5 times just for this one guess, trying to find this specific style that showed up in the other works I'd found. Then I saw a connection between the title styles of their event work and non-event work and it all made sense! It was pretty cool, like a treasure hunt. I'm excited to see if I was right.

(This is an extreme example. You don't need to commit that much time; I just was so close, I could taste it, haha.)

I do think starting with tags or titles is a great way to get into it if you're unsure, as you can scroll without opening too many pages.

And of course, it's all for fun! Don't stress if you feel overwhelmed. There's no shame in guessing wrong or in opting not to guess; I just wanted to suggest ideas while I'm in the mood for talking. I thought I wouldn't guess at all because I didn't think I'd know anyone, but I surprisingly had fun and I'd like to do more.

Enjoy the event in your own way. Everyone worked so hard and wrote great pieces. They've been a delight to read and study, and I hope to see everyone's work around the fandom in the future so I can point and say "Hey I know them and I remember this specific thing about their style!"

🦎 - Lizard Anon (Long-tongued variant)

this is some great advice!! mind if i bookmark this for next year?

[shoosiopao]

🍞 lately ...

recently, i've been trying to avoid digitally keeping track of my productivity. it's quite a difficult thing for me to tackle, as i've been heavily relying on my devices for pretty much everything! gradually, i will be moving more towards non-digital methods, such as traditional journals and planners.

the most distracting thing that i am aiming to tackle is my reliance on my phone. my screentime has been crazy and i'm not proud of it, considering that most of that time was social media. due to this, i am going to start using my phone as a tool; to transform its purpose from just being a distraction to being used to make productivity an easier process. it will be a difficult transition, so i don't expect myself to achieve this goal overnight. instead, i will take specific steps towards this goal. as of lately, i've been deleting instagram when i find myself getting looped up in the algorithm. i am aiming to get to a point where i can delete the app and only download it once a day to check any messages, then delete it again. i still use it for communication with friends and family, so i don't see myself deleting it permanently any time soon.

in general, i've also just been trying to avoid digital methods of productivity! it's not as big of a priority as avoiding my phone, but so far, i think i'm doing well! i have learned that if you write your goals down on paper, you will feel more inclined to work towards it, so i've been using my planner and journal recently! i used to use todomate for my daily todos, but i found that i am more successful when i actually write my tasks down on paper. i still use notion and google sheets on my laptop, but not as much as i used to. setting my goals on notion didn't help me much since i would rarely ever read them again. so now, i use notion as a kind of a database (?) for my ideas. i might explain more about it in a future post! as for google sheets, i've been using it to make trackers for myself. for example, i used to use yeolpumta to keep track of my study time but i eventually found it to be inconvenient because of how frequently i would have to unlock my phone to start and stop the timer. now, i just keep track of how many pomodoro sessions i complete, then record it on my google sheet tracker at the end of the day. this way, i am able to put my phone out of sight and out of mind!

lastly, i have been using google calendar for time blocking. but i have realized that i often don't commit to my schedule, so i am wondering if time blocking in my planner might be better. i might try it out soon! i want to make a big post before the start of the next quarter about some productivity tips, so i'll be testing different methods and report on what works for me!

[hindahoney]

i've been getting more into judaism after being raised jewish. i was never bat mitzva'ed, so im wondering if i should do that? also wondering what other steps to take.

Well, I have great news! You don't need to have a bat mitzvah, you are a bat mitzvah! If you would like the celebration, you certainly can have one, but it isn't necessary.

I didn't grow up with really any Jewish observance, so I was essentially a complete beginner when I decided to connect. So, my suggestions come from personal experience and the experiences of some others I know who are baal teshuva.

Some more steps you could take to foster a stronger relationship with your Judaism is first to reach out to your local rabbi, and see what events or classes their shul has going on. Showing up to these opportunities can open doors to figuring out what feels right for you, and I've found that making friends who are at a level of observance that you strive to be at can inspire you to keep learning. If you get in touch with a rabbi beforehand, they could probably arrange to have you meet with someone who can show you around and introduce you to people. While this can be really intimidating at first, believe me when I say that many Jews will be happy to help you and won't pass judgement. Many Jews have been in your shoes, you're not alone.

Or, you can pick a few different shuls and just go to each one until you find one that feels right for you. Don't feel pressured to commit to one over the other. Don't get bogged down by the labels of movements. If you have a personal goal in mind or a certain aspect of observance you want to do, just start doing it, even if it feels awkward at first. Over time, it'll be easier. Find some local study groups, or join one online! During quarantine I joined a Torah study group from a shul hundreds of miles away from me. They didn't care that I'd never step foot in their shul before, they were just happy to have a fresh face who wanted to learn. You could also try Partners In Torah, which is a website that can connect you with a chavruta.

Chabad is always a great option for those who are looking to deepen their relationship with Judaism because they always have resources specifically for people looking to reconnect.

If you live in a place with a significant Jewish population, you could find a Young Jewish Professional's group that can introduce you to more people.

I would recommend getting a siddur with Hebrew and English, if your Hebrew is shaky. I would also recommend starting to read the parsha every week, or starting the Tanach from scratch and reading it like any other book. I suggest The Living Torah and The Living Nach by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan because the translations are in modern terms and easier to read, and they have commentary by Rashi. I also can't recommend enough Joseph Telushkin's books Biblical Literacy and Jewish Literacy, they're incredibly comprehensive guides to living a Jewish life by forming a strong Jewish educational foundation. Seriously, I've mentioned these books a million times on my blog because I love them that much.

Also, you could just start small! Saying modei ani in the morning when you wake up, saying hamotzi or the birkat, or even just saying Shema before bed can be a great way to start the process of opening up.

This last recommendation might be a little out there, but I think that doing some traditional Jewish cooking or baking can help motivate you to keep learning. This is how I started. I bought a few kosher cookbooks and just started making anything I had the ingredients for. It's not necessarily a "standard" way to connect, but my soul felt like it was reaching through time and space and connecting with all the Jews before me who had prepared and eaten the same thing.

As always, if anyone else has suggestions for anon, the more the merrier! I want to express my sincere excitement for you. Enjoy the journey you're on, don't be so caught up on "but I wish I was more observant this way" or "I'm not Jewish enough in this way" because it's all nonsense. Reconnecting is an amazing and life-changing experience, so enjoy the path that you're on, not necessarily the destination. When I first started, I was so insecure about how much I didn't know and worried others would judge me, but I found most people genuinely just want to help. Learning was exciting, and in some ways I'm envious of all the new experiences you're going to have. I would have enjoyed it a lot more had I just relaxed and accepted that it's okay not to know things yet.

Good luck!!

[thatwritterbeach]

So about that alley .5

Jason todd x ofc Alex

Dc master list EVERY OTHER PART FOUND HERE

Unedited***Also I swear Tumblr is messing up my spelling on purpose cuz everytime I re-read something I know I fixed it's wrong again

Alex: short, curvy, red hair, green eyes, redheads go through pain meds way faster than normal people to the point I personally don't even take them, it's a joke, they last 30 min at best

Summary: Alex finds out her bf is red hood, after she spills some not so great secrets to the masked man while stitching him up

****HEY LOOK HERE this part only, noncon touching, not in an assault way, Jason wakes Alex up with his hand in her pants, could be triggering to some, not a fan of it myself. Yes they are dating, yes they have had sex, but an unconscious person CAN NOT consent regardless of the relationship, unless explicit consent was given prier to event with specifics talked about. Additional warning under cut, also this part only is hurt no comfort the comfort will be later cuz I'm evil

Warnings: Vaginismus* angst, sexual assault, self-harm, depression, drug use by Alex, violence, cursing, NSFW, smut, thigh riding, vaginal fingering, guided masturbation?, p in v (not overly described), pain during s*x, hiding said pain, hickeys?, self-hate, insecurities, eating disorder, weight loss, blood, mention of suicide none descript

A/N: I do not own dc booho

Alex is undrugged for this part and Jason hurts her during sex because of her vaginismus, blood from penetration. We all know J has a big dick, like look at the man, so normal healthy people would struggle to take him, there's no way I, as a person with this condition, could begin to handle him. Like i said before it's hard to explain the feeling to someone without it, but think of getting a Brazilian for like 30 min straight, and if you're a dude (odd thing to read but whatevs) it prob feels like getting kicked it the nuts for 30 min

The feeling of fingers on her skin tickled the back of her mind and woke her from her none committed relationship with death. She panicked for a moment before it registered as Jason and she relaxed keeping her eyes closed. He was drawing circles on her hips hand tucked into her loose sleep shorts. It was still dark out and she planned to go back to sleep letting him draw on her if he wished but his hand shifted to her center and his middle finger eased into her folds to play with her clit.

"Jay, I'm tired." Still she didn't open her eyes.

"Hmm, go back to sleep baby, just need to touch you, had a bad dream," he rasped in his morning voice.

"Let me freshen up first," she whispered trying to roll out of bed but he quickly moved his hand to her stomach holding her in place.

"Please stay, don't care about morning breath," he whined resting his head on her chest and resuming his slow touches. Shit, her heart rate was spiking.

"It'll just take a second," she reasoned.

"No," he begged. Crossing her fingers he would be content to just make slow circles on her clit until he fell back to sleep she agreed to stay. Regardless of her apprehension she was quickly growing wet, Jason's slow teasing making her want to buck into his hand. Deciding she was slick enough he used his foot to nudge her legs further apart and sank a digit into her.

"So tight baby. Need to relax," he cooed into her skin pumping his finger in and out in that same slow lazy manner. The stretch burned enough to make her blink back tears and she had to work to keep her legs open, focusing on her breathing. "Gotta stretch you out for me," he said adding a second finger and curling them against her g spot. The feeling of pain and pleasure was enough to make her feel bile at the back of her throat and she started to sweat. With his face buried into her neck he was missing every cue of her discomfort. Biting her lip hard enough to draw blood she managed to cover up a cry with a fake moan and he rolled her onto her side throwing her leg over his hip and moving her shorts to sink into her. She hadn't even noticed he was nude. The intrusion forced a sob out of her and she pushed at his chest in shock.

"Stop, Jay, fuck, red, please, stop, stop!" She was full on sobbing now, gasping in pain and shoving at his chest her body too panicked to reason with. He had frozen at her first cry and was trying in vain to grab her hands and calm her down.

"What's wrong, what did I do baby, what did I do," he was begging starting to slide out to give her space but her pained 'stop' made him freeze again.

"Don't move, don't move, fuck, please-just stop!"

He was in full panic mode his own eyes filling with tears as he tried to soothe her, hands floundering around her not wanting to cause her more pain. Her hands stopped their assault on his chest to sink her nails into the flesh desperately trying to get her breathing under control.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he was saying over and over running his hands through her hair and down her side not even wincing as her nails broke the skin. With a forced exhale she moved to get him out of her and rolled out of his arms to get off the bed. The small nightlight she insisted on was casting enough of a glow for him to take in her state. Hair a reckless knot, cheeks soaked with tears, and eyes wide in panic. She shuddered and took off to the bathroom before he could get his limbs to function and made it to the door right after she clicked the lock in place. He thunked his head against the shitty fake wood, that he could blow down if he wanted, but she was scared and in pain, because of him so if she wanted the privacy he sure as hell wasn't about to point that out.

"I'm so sorry, please just...talk to me."

"I'm fine," she insisted with a shaky voice. lies.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Just give me a minute," she resisted the urge to growl at him yanking supplies out of their hiding spot and filling her syringe with rehearsed precision. She was eerily silent as she situated her self on the toiled to inject between her toes. (I don't do drugs folks and didn't want that in my search history so I'm guessing here) The quiet made him panic and he barely had to try to shove his shoulder into the door and pop it open.

"What the fuck!" They both yelled. His eyes took in the needle and the small amount of blood making it's way down her inner thigh and didn't know what to do. In the face of the worst criminals of Gotham he didn't blink, but this, in the bathroom at 6 am with his precious girlfriend injecting herself with Lord knows what after he made her bleed, he was lost. He needed help damn it. Like he wasn't even there, she finished what she was doing and calmly went through the process of cleaning everything and disposing of the used needle.

"What the fuck," he whispered this time hands stretched out towards her that were shaking.

"I said I was fine."

"What the fuck, you're not fine, what are you using," he demanded. He knew he was being too loud, knew he was shaking like a leaf and looking like a rage machine but he couldn't be calm, he couldn't.

"It's morphine, I use it for my migraines." She was so fucking calm it was pissing him off.

"I hurt you that bad," he was gonna kill himself, that's it, he was jumping in front of a train and ending the monster that he clearly was.

"No Jay." lies.

"I did, you're bleeding!"

"That happens sometimes it's ok." Like hell she was gonna comfort him when he hurt her.

"It doesn't-" he started to say before his brain caught up. The night she stitched him up, the story she told him about being assaulted.

"Fuck you lied to me," he ground out running a hand down his face trying to control the anger. "This whole fucking time you've been shooting up because I've been hurting you." His nerves couldn't take this. For weeks he'd been forcing her to drug herself because she thought he would break up with her without sex. (he wasn't forcing her but his anxiety ridden, self-hating brain was too far gone for rational thought)

"It's ok," she said again, grabbing his hands in her own and trying to convince him.

"I don't-I can't-how-I can't do this," he growled yanking his hands from hers and stomping back into her room to get dressed.

"What are you doing," she asked trying to grab him.

"Out, I need air," he snapped shaking her off of him and rushing out the door slamming it behind himself.

"Why," she whispered into the empty room tears starting down her face again.

He'd at least had the sense to grab his phone and sent a quick text in the group chat demanding someone go sit with her while he was out. Dick was the first to reply having been up to catch a train back to Bludhaven.

*I'll be there in 10 what happened* -Dickhead

*I'm a POS that's what happened* -Jaybird

*make that 5* - Dickhead

Needing to beat the shit out of something he went to his place to suit up and headed out to crime alley.

Alex had managed to shower and get dressed in loose flannel pants and a button up, Jason's, and curled herself up on the couch laying on her side from the ache between her legs while the tv played early morning cartoons. She was at least done crying, simply sitting in stunned silence while her brain moved far too fast for comfort. Her hands itched to grab her blade and slice into her flesh but Jason could be back at any second, even though she knew he wouldn't but she didn't need to give him any more reason to hate himself. Even if this was all her fault.

"Knock knock," a voice said through her window.

"Go away, Dick."

"No can do," he said landing without a sound on her floor. She needed to sweep she thought in passing as his shoes scuffed along the old boards.

"He sent you," she said, not a question.

"He did."

"Great, mean he won't be back for a while, maybe...48 hours before his damn head is back on."

"Yep," he replied picking up her legs to make room for himself on the couch then set her feet in his lap. His eyes were tracking the tv while he rubbed circles into one of her ankles wanting to fill the silence but having no idea where to start. Hell he doesn't even know what they had a fight about, surely Jason would get his head out of his a-

"He's not gonna keep me," she whispered so low he almost didn't hear her.

"What, no he loves you, why would you even think that?"

"I lied...a big lie."

"Did you kill someone?"

"No."

"Are you secretly married?"

"No."

"Did you cheat?"

"No."

"Then it's fixable," he said with such certainty it almost made her cry again.

"Not this time."

8-16-24 (see masterlist for more