#i spent $140 instead :)

[anambermusicbox]

THE NEW ZHOU SHEN POKEMON ANNIVERSARY SONG MV 😳

[akihikosanada]

persona 5 is a video game that exists

[brokensticks]

you ever spend so much money you have to physically wave it goodbye

[potentialguybodyswaps]

Cum Locked Into a Marine:

Are you in the military but feel like you joined the wrong branch? well there’s a way to swap branches, only catch, you have to swap bodies with someone in that branch and live their life, you can always swap back but only after both parties have finished their contract, so if you have 1 year left on yours, and you decided to swap with a fresh boot, you gotta finish the rest of their contract

Not many people wanna swap with a guy fresh out of boot camp but I did.

I’ve spent a year in the navy and didn’t like it one bit, when I joined I was hoping to join a brotherhood but the comrodery wasn’t there , when I was in A school, the base I was at for training was actually a joint base with the army, navy, Air Force and marines

Something that always upsetted me is when ever we’d see the marines, they were fine as fuck, for no reason, hands down the best looking fucking branch, no homo.

Even when I got to my ship and did a deployment with the marines onboard, they always looked hot and way fitter, if I would have join them instead of the navy, I’d definitely have abs but a lot of the navy struggles to stay within height and weight regulations

So I decided I wanted to swap with a marine, I made an account for the Body Exchange Program (or B.E.P. For short) and went to the subsection for military swaps and clicked on the marine branch to see what bodies were available

One thing I loved about the B.E.P. Is while the swaps are basically contracts and ment to last for the agreed time, they’re a couple ways to get out of that aswell… The B.E.P. Isn’t actually ment for long term swaps, so the only real way to do so is by breaking the TOS (terms of servicing). if both parties end up ejaculating while swaped, they end up locked in each others bodies

A lot of them had high standards in order to swap with them but I did find one Private named Matt Cummings. his profile says he’s only been out of boot camp for a week now and hates it, willing to swap with anyone from any branch as long as their not old.

I’ve only done 1 out of my 5 years so it didn’t bother me basically losing a year and having to restart a 5 year contract, especially if it ment I got to look hot as fuck and be a marine

Luckily I was only about 3 years older so I sent a request and after a little talking he agreed saying “I’d love to be in the navy and see more countries than just being deployed and stuck in 1”

Since we were in the same time zone this would actually be somewhat easy, we just set the time to swap to 3 A.M. when we’re both sleeping, and since we both actually had the next couple days off, it’d give us time to adapt and try to figure out our new lives

He asked me if I was sure I wanted to do this, promising it’s not like how I think it is. And I told him yes I’m sure…

Unfortunately he was one of the few profiles on here that didn’t have a profile pic so I was a bit worried about walking into this blind, but checking out the basic stats on his profile made me a bit more confident, 5’10 and 140. At the very minimum I might lose like 2 inches of height but atleast I lose about 40 pounds of weight also haha

I woke up the next day in a bed that didn’t belong to me and a dorm room that didn’t look familiar to me. Needing to piss I flung the blanket off me and saw that I was in nothing but my underwear, I rushed to the head (bathroom in military talk) and lowered them to piss and was kinda shocked, nothing too special about the dick, I mean about the same size as my actual body, but maybe a bit longer, ok, more than a little, I had to be atleast 3 and a half inches soft now, bro probably had like atleast 2 inches on me hard, I don’t know yet, so I’ll assume im about 6.5 or 7 inches hard maybe more now. What had me shocked tho was that I’m now uncircumcised! This is awesome man! I always wanted to be uncut. I just woke up and I’m glad this guy wanted to swap, definitely lucked out.

After I got done pissing and shooked my dick, I went to the sink to drink some water straight from the facet, after I got done drinking I stood up water dripping down my face onto my chest and onto my thin 6pack… if you could even call these abs, I’m not sure, maybe inbetween toned and abs status. Finally taking the chance to look in the mirror, I believe I lucked out, this guy seems to be one of the finer looking ones

While admiring my new self in the mirror I started to get hard and decided to check out the goods, pulling my underwear down my initial assessment seemed to be right, definitely bigger than my original body, so definitely atleast 7 inches. I decided to save playing with myself for later, hate to be a cliche and immediately go to touching myself after a swap, I’ll save it for later when I decide to act like a true marine and go get day drunk!

I tried finding some clean clothes but everything that wasn’t a uniform item was kinda just thrown onto the floor so I don’t know which piles are clean and which are not… I decided to take from the pile that smelled the lest like B.O. and get dressed

Once dressed I grabbed a backpack I saw laying around and left the onbase housing and found a store that happened to sell some IPA’s in there. I got a 6 pack and headed back to my room. on the way to the store and on the way back I was getting looks from everyone like I’m doing something I shouldn’t be, can’t be the alcohol can it? I mean no way, I tucked it into my bag. I mean, ya bro didn’t check the back of my CAT card to see my date of birth, so it’s technically underage drinking, but no one knows I have beer in my backpack nor does that explain the looks I was getting on the way to the store in the first place

I shrugged it off and just went back inside to my room. Once in I started drinking right away after I found some good shows to watch on this guys phone, I don’t know his password but the finger ID works, I’ll have to message him and ask him for the code later

It was taking me longer than usual to finish these due to not liking the taste anymore, and they were fucking me up more than usual making me a bit nauseous, I guess it makes since, this Matt guy has only been in for a week, probably didn’t have a taste for alcohol yet, not to mention different tastebuds in general, dam that sucks, this was one of my favorite brands too!

It took me almost 3 hours but I was finally on the last one, on a scale of like 1-10 I was probably a 6 on the drunk scale, trying not to throw up, which is ironic sense I use to black out and wake up never throwing up once throughout the night

When I get drunk I like to start cleaning or working out drunk, makes everything a bit more fun, I decided to do laundry, sense I can’t tell what’s clean and what’s not, I decided to just wash everything on the floor

Once I put everything in the washer I had a thought, technically I don’t know if the clothes I put on today were clean or not, and after spending some time in them today, technically they are dirty “fuck it” I said outloud and stripped completely naked tossing my clothes into the washer too before starting it

I went back and sat on the couch buck ass naked, it always felt weird walking around naked, so the fact that I’m doing it now in a slimmer body, balls swinging? Was kinda erotic, I started to get hard but the hornyness turned into fear when I herd a knock at the door

I remained still hoping they’d just go away, but then herd the sliding of the lock and the door open

“Aye Private FuckFace, I gotta talk to you. A sergeant and 2 corporals came in with him and closed the door behind them. For some reason I forgot that I was totally nude and thought it’d be a good idea to just start playin a movie again and pretend like I didn’t hear them

They walked around the corner into the living room to see me naked on the couch making them freeze and recalculate for a few seconds

I tried to not look up at them and continue watching my phone

“Well what do we have here” the sergeant said walking up to me

“Uh, uh, nothing much sergeant, just watchin a movie, you?”

“Me? What do I have? Let’s see, I’m given the task of coming to scald you for going out in public today and not shaving, what is this? Like my 3rd time telling you in the last week since you’ve been here that you have to shave EVERY DAY. And now I have YOU sitting on the couch, buck ass naked with beer cans on the table” he yelled knocking my partially full can over

“So that’s what we’re doing now? Underage drinking in base housing, not shaving. Sitting in the couch naked, legs open, not even trying to cover yourself, you know I told you if you kept fucking up I was gonna cum on your fucking face Private Cummings, I wasnt joking” he said unbuckling his belt

It didn’t register with me the first time, but it did the second, I’m so fucked up right now that I totally forgot that I was nude, fuck. Wait did he just say he was gonna fuck my face!?

I went to get up off the couch but he pushed me hard when I got half way up, sending me back on the couch.

“Now you know the rules to this, you can try to get out of this but I doubt you’ll be able too” he said nodding to the two corporals as he pulled his 5 inch hard dick out

I went to get up a second time but the corporals went behind the couch, each grabbing an arm and holding it back so I can’t go anywhere

“Suck” he said dick inches away from my mouth

“Fuck that” I screamed trying to spit on his dick as a sign of disrespect

Due to my slow reaction time the moment I tried to build up saliva and spit out on his dick, he just Jammed it in my mouth the second I opened it

I didn’t dare move, I’m not gonna fuck him up by hitting his dick but I’m not sucking it ether

I quit trying to fight to get up and just fell back into the couch more trying to get the dick to come back out my mouth

“Private FuckFace you are to suck my dick until I cum in your mouth, do you understand? That’s an order soldier” the sergeant said yelling at me

The moment he said “that’s an order” it’s like the combination of my boot camp instincts and this Cummings guy’s kicked in and I just quit resisting giving in and sucking his dick

Like a good soldier does, I gave it my all trying to do a good job and I suppose I did cause he yelled “I’m about to cum” I sped up a bit just so I can be done with this gay shit, the moment he started to blow his load in my mouth I quit sucking, but he wouldn’t pull out

I looked up to see my sergeant looking down on me, saying “you know the rules, now swallow, Private”

The moment I swallowed my sergeant nodded again and the corporals finally let go, they came back around the couch laughing

“Oh my god sergeant did he actually do it? Haha” one of them said laughing

“Yep, he swallowed it, which by Marine Social Code, means you, private fuck face, are officially my bitch now and have to do whatever I say whenever I say it” the sergeant said with a smile

“Bro what the fuck is wrong with y’all, fuck that I’m not nobodies bitch, you just mad a private has a bigger dick then you dude” I said standing up

“Private I told you, you know the rules, if anyone is able to take you by force and make you swallow their cum, your their bitch now, you could have gotten out of the hold we had you in, you just decided to say fuck your training, I feel like becoming a bitch all of a sudden right? Just accept it for what it is and do what I say like a good little bitch”

One of the corporals decided to tap the sergeant and ask him a question

“So uh, sense he’s your bitch now, do we get any sort of compensation for helping you? I mean he did put up a fight in the beginning and make us put some effort into holding him down, for someone that decided to become a bitch, he should have known he shouldn’t fight with his superiors” one of them said

The sergeant smiled and said “perhaps… Private go ahead and suck these two’s dicks aswell, take as much time as you’d like”

“No dude what the fuck is your problem I’m not doing that gay shit I’m a marine” I said angrily

“Private, you will suck these two men’s dick, that’s an order” the sergeant said

Once again it was like something in me was triggered and I proceeded to get down on my knees to make it easier for them to stick it in.

“ and you might be a marine but your a fresh marine, ment to be made into whatever the fuck we want you to be, if we want you to be the bottom bitch of the whole platoon, guess what your doing? Suckin dick just like we want you too” the sergeant said as I was giving one of the corporal the works

Both the corporals were bigger than the sergeant, so my only assuming is that the sergeant likes to get drunk with his power and assert it whenever he can, like now

After I got done blowing the first corporal, just like the sergeant did… he ordered me to swallow after cumming in my mouth. laughing, he pulled out and let the 2nd corporal take his turn

This time I didn’t need any instructions and just knew to swallow that way his dick come out my mouth faster, I hated every second of this, I thought the marine corps was the straight bad ass branch but I guess their even worse than the navy somehow

As I swallowed the 2nd corporal’s load I moved my eyes and glanced over at sergeant to see a pissed off expression

“What sergeant, I’m just doing what you told me to do” I said feeling the urge to please my superior officers

“I told you to suck their dicks, I didn’t necessarily say to let them cum in your mouth and swallow it, did i” he said rubbing his hands against the sides of the his temple

“Your point” i asked

“My point is now that you swallowed their cum, your all of our’s bitch now…. man you must really love this don’t you? It’s ok private, I knew from the beginning you must be a little gay from our first encounter, with that being said, we’ll round up the rest of the platoon and make sure you have plenty of cum to swallow and dicks to suck by the end of the week, I’m sure the rest of the guys will be ecstatic to find out they can get free blowjobs whenever they want and not have to go out into town to get it. Good work private” he said now smirking a little bit

“Ok I’ll leave the rest to you two” sergeant said and then walked out

Once the sergeant walked out the corporals both started dying laughing

“Hold up just stay right there private, ima make a call to the E-4 Mafia and get you some more dicks to suck tonight” one of them said pulling out their phone and started reading aloud the text he was sending to a group chat

“E-4 mafia, new platoon bitch is with me right now, drunk as fuck, giving out free blowjobs and swallowing, hit me up if you’d like to get in on this day one, goal is to get him to swallow every guy in the platoon by the end of the week” and send he said

Guys, come on now, this isn’t cool, y’all are gonna make me get a STD or something, you really want that? I said panicking

“Really only a problem for the ones after/if you get one private, but I think most would say it’d be a fair trade off in the hopes of having a platoon wide bitch, it’s gonna be a long 4 years for you dude haha” he said sitting down on the couch keeping an eye on me to make sure I don’t escape before his buddies show up

For some reason thinking about what just happened has me getting hard, the sergeant can go kill himself for all I care, but just like my new marine body, these corporals are starting to look kinda hot

The one that send out the group chat noticed I got hard and addressed me

“You find this hot Cummings” he said with a sly smile on his face

“I got something for you private, just go ahead and close your eyes and start stroking your dick dude, slowly”

I do so, and next thing I know I hear the corporal searching his bag behind me untill he found something, I herd a bag open and he asked me

“ do you like poppers private”

“I love them! What type of popper tho? Like jalapeño poppers?” I said starting to sound excited from the sound of food, drinking on a empty stomach wasn’t my brightest idea

As I’m still stroking my uncut cock I feel the corporal grab the back of my head and go

“ no these ones” he said as he forced my face into the bag inhaling chemicals

It suddenly felt like my dick was about to explode and so I let go immediately but it was too late

My dick started to twitch for a few seconds before I shot my load all over myself

“Noo!! What the fuck was that I yelled”

What I thought you said you liked poppers? I just figured I’d help you get off since you’ll be helping a lot of guys tonight he said with that same sly smile

My whole life has been turned upside down, I was hoping if I could make it pass the next few days the B.E.P. Would swap us back knowing I never cummed, not wanting the swap to be locked in

But now I’m stuck as this private Cummings guy for sure, since the corporal wanted to mess with me and make me cum myself, locking me in this body for years to come

#edit, I’ll try to make a patreon next week where y’all can see the pictures I really want to use for these stories 😏

[crithaus]

It's 2 am but I'm awake so tlovm fans get this right in the episodes where Percy and gang are retaking Whitestone, specifically the ones where Vax is mind controlled and they've just escaped the residuum melting acid tank, Keyleth and Vex both call him via the magic earrings trying to snap Vax outta being bisexually mind controlled and keyleth gives him a half seconds pause, barely anything but Vex fakes dying in the ACID on her turn, lies through her pearly little teeth to him and that stops Vax dead in his tracks for a second, it's enough to shake him outta damn mind control by former cerberus assembly archmage delilah goddamn briarwood for a moment

I will scream a new singularity into the universe, and they keep talking for a moment actually and right after Matt-as-delilah asks Vax just who tbe fuck he's whispering to he LIES, RAW Vax should have told Sylas and Delilah right then and there that the acid trap failed but he lies by ommission to protect his sister and family and girlfriend, sobs, and then when they're all seconds before the actually ziggurat fight Matt is explaining the parameters of mind control to Liam, yea sure Vox Machina is still technically your friends but the Briarwoods are your new friend-ier friends now and if shit pops off youll be protecting the briarwoods, and Liam's like :/, mostly accurate quote, "so if I see," points to Laura, "her, the most important person in the world to me, I wanna fight her?" Like twinnies on top forever I fear, he would punt scanlan off of the ziggurat for free at that moment but Gods forbid he has to lay a hand on his sister, and then he's like well I'll just guard Delilah's body and not hit anyone anyway, he isn't even willing to entertain the idea of fighting Vex (and co but...)

And then like during the fight after sylas dies, like sam said that tlovm is its own canon and also that the twins specifically got so wicked pulverized throughout the entire campaign that he had to start giving all but their very biggest owies to everyone else so the runtime wasn't 140+ minutes of footage from exandrian intensive care but I'm still SAD about Keyleth getting Delilah's last hurrah attack instead of vex cuz Vex was DYING, in a room with a magic dampening sphere too so no healing and Vax was like hey dm I will run up this 90° wall to reach my sister take those laws of gravity and shove them up ur ass my boy, like she was getting tossed around like a ragdoll, Liam was going to cry it was awesome, he had tunnel vision and it was getting vex somewhere safe and blowing all their useless potions on her, he wouldn't put her down until keyleth started testing fate fucking with the endless abysmal orb, Vex was fine but oh man the future of her death at the hands of something Percy was involved in?? Foretold tens of episodes before, insane how an unscripted dnd game shakes out

Anyway twinnies goes insanely insanely hard in the campaign it's unreal it's wild, Liam spent 2 and a half whole hours in one of his trials of the take episodes mourning by his own admission his sister being gone for about 8 hours away from Him, i am a codependent siblings enjoyer and this shit will feed you

also I fear I need to reiterate, twinnies? Perfect, no notes. Twincest? An abomination, please do not misconstrue my affections here abeg

[hero-israel]

I was relating it to something so know. YOU do not want to risk living in a majority Arab or Muslim country because of past actions, you point to these actions as proof that you need to have a form of control over them. So you are okay with their murder. You are okay with the fact that you moved yourselves onto their land and kicked them out. You are okay with the fact that you basically have them behind a militarized wall. Going through all that does not mean you are incapable of doing the same. Or that just because you have not done the exact same or the same amount of time that your actions are not bad. I am ethnically Jewish (not practicing) tho it’s not significant enough in my life for me to claim it as a cultural identity on my father’s side and my step father is Jewish but he’s now anti-religion (He’s on Israel’s side). My cultural upbringing… well I’m a poc and I spent years going to Holocaust memorials, I learned Jewish customs, our family friends were Jewish, and I read Jewish stories/watched the films. Media consumption? All the media I’ve consumed said that Palestinians where the problem because they refused to accept Israel and that Muslims where all terrorists (I grew up post 911). At no point did I ever say I was okay with the massacre of Jewish people or that it was understandable. I feel fine being critical of what you tell me because I know you aren’t saying the whole truth. You are still playing the role of the perfect victim. Everything has been done to you and you have done nothing back.

just because you have not done the exact same or the same amount of time that your actions are not bad

The amount of history that this sentence attempts to wave away.... No. No, that simply won't do.

I showed you dozens of examples of centuries of torture, oppression, and massacres of Jews in Arab / Muslim societies, culminating in the complete and recent destruction of 3,000-year-old Jewish civilization in all MENA countries, and you just breeze by them with no real consideration at all. You have repeatedly mentioned slave revolts because the slaves had good reason to defend themselves. Does the need for self-defense vanish when it's Jewish self-defense? Why can you tolerate violence in slave uprisings, but not in Jews trying to prevent their extermination? Cut us, maybe we don't bleed.

Your final comment of "Everything was done to you, you have done nothing back" likewise disregards the lopsided history and unequal stakes of oppression and loss. There are exactly zero countries where Arabs or Muslims have been reduced to nothing and their histories ended by Jews. Israel has a 20% Arab minority, in most MENA countries you can't even find 20 Jews. Israel is the only regional country that has any diversity, pluralism, and tolerance, instead of an unnatural Nebraska-cornfield ethnic monoculture. How much structural racism, how much systematic violence and hate, does a country need to have for it to EVEN BE POSSIBLE to physically wipe out a minority? With all of America's fucked-up racial problems, do you think they could physically push out the African-Americans or Latinos today if they wanted to? Yet you look at the Middle East and, one after another, the Jews are gone, the Jews are gone, the Jews are gone. You say you are not okay with Jewish massacres, well, I'm glad to hear that, but you don't seem to appreciate that those were the actual stakes. If your enemy says their goal is your extinction, and you survive, then yeah, maybe you do put up a wall and they have to stay on their side of it. Boo and furthermore hoo.

As for "being okay with murder" - forget slave revolts, I'm certainly fine with abolishing slavery altogether and I suspect you are too. That required killing over 600,000 people in 4 years. The combined all-sides grand total death count of the Zionist / Arab conflict is about 120,000 in 140 years. Are you "okay" with the American Civil War taking place, even though Lincoln suspended habeas corpus and all the other imperfect, morally compromised things Confederate LARPers complain about?

Overall I detect a strongly binary way of thinking, that Jewish people / institutions can only be seen as worth physical protection if they are perfect, if they have never harmed anyone, even if the options the world presents to us are Jewish people / institutions as they are or their continued, repeated disappearance. You were never promised better Jews or a better Israel, and you may not shift the goalposts on how we resist those who would repeat our genocide. I am fully comfortable in saying we are morally superior to our enemies. The fact that we still have living enemies proves that.

[hyakinthou-naos]

Theoi Info Sheets Series Part 6: Apollo & Artemis - The Divine Twins

"... but the opinion most universally received was, that Apollo, the son of Zeus and Leto, was born in the island of Delos, together with his sister Artemis; and the circumstances of [their] birth there are detailed in the Homeric hymn on Apollo, and in that of Callimachus on Delos."

- Comp. Apollod. i. 4. § 1; Hygin. Fab. 140.

I would describe my relationship with The Divine Twins as... unbalanced. I have never felt drawn or called to Lady Artemis; despite my love of deer, the woods, and the years I spent working in childcare - I have always felt that the doors of Her temple were closed to me. I personally feel that part of this lies in my transgender identity; this is not to say that transmen or men in general cannot worship Artemis - I've seen quite a few transmen on Tumblr who are joyous devotees to Her. But personally, I have always felt distanced from Artemis.

I do feel as though Artemis tried to call to me when I was young, but I did not feel aligned with Her energies or drawn to Her domains. Then, when I transitioned, I got the sense that Artemis felt betrayed; like She had laid claim to me and was waiting for me to join Her retinue - but instead I left womanhood behind and She felt personally insulted.

I say all of this, not in any way to disrespect Lady Artemis - or to say my experience is indicative of her energy and character towards other devotees. I simply say all of this to share my experience.

On the reverse - Lord Apollo is my patron deity. There is no God or entity that I hold in higher regard. I feel as though Lord Apollo has been quietly waiting for me all my life, almost as if He knew my destiny lied in being his devotee but He wanted me to come to Him on my own.

That isn't to say he hasn't been present in my life before my journey into Hellenic Polytheism - but I do believe He has let the muses guide me rather than His own hand. I felt Kleio enter my life in middle school when I first began writing poetry, and Gods - Euterpe and Melpomene have been with me since I began writing music in the second grade. Ouranie entered my life later, moreso in college when astrology became a larger part of my life and personal practice. But now I've gone off on a tangent, haha.

I've written about Lord Apollo in many other posts on my blog - so feel free to check the Lord Apollo tag if you'd like to read more about my relationship and devotion to him.

Banner/Divider Credit

*You may have seen this info sheet before on thewitchfarhan.tumblr.com - that is my old Tumblr. These info sheets are my own creation - please do not repost without credit.

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 150. brb x oc

a/n: we reached 150 chapters. GUYS.what the hell..........<3 (reblogs and comments are super encouraged <3)

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: JUST FLUFF!!!

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/

/100/101/102/103/104/105/106/107/108/109/110/111/112/113/114/115/116/117/118/119/120/121/122/123/124/125/126/127/128/129/130/131/132/133/134/135/136/137/138/139/140/141/142/143/144/145/146/147

/148/149

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! )

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @novastories @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2

@emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @booklover2sblog @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads @bigpoppajes @taytaylala12

@caitsymichelle13 @becks-things @caatheeriinee07 @dhwanishah09 @jesfreedark @katiemcrae @lilmonstrjedi @hobiismyhopeu @teacupsandtopgun @insominac23 @gh0stsgoodgirl @mygyn @chavivaelisheva @genius2050

-

“You know what,I kinda missed this.”

He looks up from his watch towards her, “What?”

Beatrice opens the doors that lead to their patio, holding onto the threshold as she inhales, “Warm,beachy air.” she murmurs, closing her eyes and feeling the breeze hit her cheeks, “I love Virginia, but I’m a San Diego gal.”

“You are,” she hears from behind, his steps getting closer, “You like the sun, the waves,” his arms slide around her waist and pulls her flush to his front, “And the diminutive clothing that I adore oh so much.” and he kisses her cheek soundly, “But you do look cute with that winter clothing.”

“Do I?”

“Like a teddy bear.” he coos, kissing her again and then propping his chin on her shoulder as they watch the dogs run around their yard. Beatrice places her hands on top of his arms as he hugs her, nuzzling her neck as she giggles softly because of his mustache against her skin. He huffs softly, pressing his eyebrows to her shoulder, “I don’t really wanna leave.”

“I know.” she whispers, “You are very touchy today.”

“Hmmmm…I spent so long with you that thinking about stepping out of the house is just,” a sigh, a heavy one, “Nightmarish.”

“That’s a bit dramatic.”

“And Nikki isn’t even up for me to say goodbye,” she could hear his pouting, “That’s cruel.”

In fact Nicole was still fast asleep on her crib, the jetlag got to her more than did her parents and she ended up sleeping more than she was used to, which was pretty normal considering how long the trip was. Beatrice and Rooster were just adults with responsibilities and couldn’t enjoy a few more hours sleeping in. “Aw, my poor husband.” she pets the side of his face sweetly, then kisses his cheek a few times, “She’ll be awake when you come back.”

“...I guess.” he sighs, then turned towards Bea,”What are your plans today? Anything I should know?”

“Well,I’m going to see what my mom wants, then I’ll go talk to Shells about you know what and then I’ll probably clean the house a bit? It is pretty clean but we were out for a week there’s enough dust in here already.”

“That’s fair.”

“What about you? Anything…that I should worry about?”

Like a sudden deployment?

“Mm,no, not really.”  he replies with his chin still on her shoulder, his eyes following the three dogs as they run around the yard - clearly happy to be surrounded by heat instead of the below zero temperatures from Virginia - “I don’t think so at least.”

Beatrice nodded, still caressing his arm as they stood there quietly. Her mind, while happy to be back in California, couldn’t really stay in one thought right now, in fact she just kept thinking how to break the news to her blood family. Since the pilots already knew, “...do you have any idea how to break the news to Mav?”

Cue to a very deep sigh, “No. Do you know how to break it to your parents?”

“No…”

‘Guess we’ll just make it as we go along,huh?”

Beatrice giggled, looking back at him to meet his smile and those brown eyes she fell in love with. She gently touched his face with her hand, following his scars with her thumb before touching his chin, “We will…I guess I’m just nervous. Maybe we should wait for the second ultrasound.”

“Maybe so, it’d be a great idea.” he mutters, “Anything to make sure they are okay.” he however groans when he hears his watch just beep repeatedly. He sighs, bringing her closer to him - more than she already was - and nuzzled her neck, “Walk me to the door?” she nods, letting him guide them towards it with their hands interlaced and Rooster’s wide steps making them reach the location faster.

Beatrice smiles more because he hasn’t let go of her hand even when he went to unlock the Bronco, just tugging her along every time he moved and clearly hating the idea of breaking the touch. “Roos.” he hums, opening the front door, looking back at her only for the brunette to nod to their hands, “You have to let me go.”

He flicks from their hands to her face, “....do I?”

“It’d be wise because I don’t think Evelyn’s dad would like to see me hanging onto you like a keychain.”

He purses his lips, shaking their hands a bit before slowly letting her go, only to grab it again and kiss her knuckles,then the back of her hand and finally the inside of her wrist, “There,done.” he stands there, watching her smile knowingly, “Actually.” she already purses her lips for him to kiss her and he wastes no time, cupping her face in his large hands and bringing her face closer to his.

She laughs against his mouth because he kept peppering kisses over hers, so much she had to gently push on his chest and break them apart, “Roos.” he whines in complaint, “You’ll have much more when you come back home.” another sad groan, “Don’t be a baby.”

“I’m not a baby.” he mutters - pouting while doing so - playing with the ends of her hair, “I just like kissing you.”

“And I like kissing you.” she fixes his collar then runs her hands down his shirt to smooth any wrinkles that might be there, “But you have to work and I have to…do stuff. Like clean.” and she pecked the tip of his nose before stepping back, closer to the door where the three dogs were. 

Rooster sighed, tossing the keys up and grabbing them in mid air, “Fine,but,” he points a finger in her direction, partially inside the car, “I’ll want those kisses once I’m home.”

“You’ll get them.”

His eyes narrow, “All of them?”

“Every single one.” she smiles, crossing her arms over her bust, “I promise.”

Bradley narrows his eyes even more but smirks, “Alright.” and he drops his sunglasses over his eyes, clearly pleased by the outcome once he’s inside the car. Beatrice waits until the garage door rolls open to step closer to the car - and her husband quickly rolls the window down with the same smile as before. “Yess?”

She laughs, leaning closer to kiss his lips one last time, “Have a good day at work, okay?”

He smiles more, pressing another kiss to her lips, “I will. I’ll call you.”

“You better.” she laughs, stepping back so he could drive off from the garage and onto the street. She walks out, the dogs following, until she’s by the sidewalk, placing a hand on her forehead to shield her eyes from the sun and waving at him with her free one - he reciprocates with a wink before driving off. Once she’s alone with Jolene - because Jack and Eleanor went up to check on Nicole, she sighs a bit.

The pittie tilts her huge head at her, then presses her body against her thigh for comfort, “Oh Jojo,I’m okay.” she mutters, scratching the dog behind the ears and dropping her free hand to her stomach as she feels the smallest amount of nausea hitting her, “Anyway, let’s go back inside, I gotta get enough courage to clean the house.” Jolene barks in agreement, following Beatrice as she wanders into the house.

She walks inside and pauses, trying to hear if Nicole was awake and closing her eyes when she hears only silence. She does check on the baby monitor app and sees Nikki is just sleeping peacefully, “But she’ll wake up in a few minutes.” she tells herself, pulling her hair up in a bun and rolling her pants up her calves, “Alright, time to clean.”

Cleaning should be considered a type of therapy, in reality Dr.Varma said it truly was a type of therapy and if it helped Beatrice, she should always try to do it.

She just liked when things were tidy.

So, she decided to start in the master bedroom, being close to Nicole and making sure she was around in case the baby woke up. She tries to be quiet while bringing the cleaning supplies up the stairs, peeking into Nicole’s room as the end of the mop hits the staircase but their daughter was a heavy sleeper. She slept through a storm, a mop handle hitting the railing wouldn’t wake her up.

-

She was happy she managed to do so much, and she finished just in time for Nicole to wake up. Okay, it was just the master bedroom, but it was good enough. Now she was feeding Nikki in the kitchen while checking her phone and seeing her mother’s message one more time.

Claudia wants to go grocery shopping, and Beatrice was okay with that idea since she had some stuff to buy herself, but she had to be careful when out with her mom…she didn’t want to share much about it yet. Which reminded her, “Shells.’ she immediately found her friend’s contact and brought the phone to her ear, smiling at Nikki as she waits.

“Hey babes. What’s up?”

“Well,nothing much.” she chuckles, bringing another spoonful of mango purée to Nikki’s mouth - she was really her daughter, the way her little eyes widened the second the spoon entered her mouth was a clear sign of that - “But I wanted to check on you.”

“Me?”

“Hmmhm. I’m sure everything we talked about is between us still,right?”

“Everything we- oh you mean the p-” Beatrice clears her throat loudly, she knows for a fact that Shells was with Penny right now, she knew the two often worked out together - more like Penny jogged and Shells just marched along like an angry child who got forcefully out of bed - “Oh-um,yeah. Yeah you can count on me.”

“You didn’t keep it hidden when Nikki was still inside.”

“Okay,in my defense, you were with me.” Beatrice just rolled her eyes, “And we couldn’t lie to my aunt. Like, she knows stuff, she knows everything…but I can handle things right now,I can keep a secret.” Beatrice says nothing and the lack of response clearly annoys the blonde, “I do!”

“Uh-huh, anyway,I was just thinking about that and if there’s anything planned for this week.I know Penny wanted to bring more stuff over?”

“She did ask for a new keg of beer. Locally made, she’s trying to give more people chances. If it works, it’ll bring more people to the bar…also did you hear?”

“About?”

“There’s a new Navy bar being built, not too far from here.”

Beatrice blinks, wiping Nicole’s face, “Wait, really?” she leans back on her chair as Nicole babbles happily while slapping her hands together, “I didn’t know that.”

“My aunt thinks it’s just a bunch of former executives trying to make big money with something they have no idea about.” the blonde explains, “Like in Bar Rescue.”

“You watch Bar Rescue?”

“Penny had this weird fear that Jon Taffer would one day come into the Hard Deck, she never mentioned it to anyone except me and Melia though.” she chuckles a bit, “Was kinda funny. Never saw her like that.”

“Hm, still, it’s okay to keep an eye out I guess.”

“I think so…how about you? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,I think I got some nausea now but,” she frowns,rubbing her stomach, “Hopefully it’ll disappear by the time I meet with my mom. I know she wants to go grocery shopping but ugh, some smells can be so…triggering? I know when I was with Nikki I couldn’t handle the smell of wine or beer and I really wanted to have bananas…more than normal.”

‘Mhm”

“It’s a pain in the ass.”

“I mean the closest thing I had to that was throwing up in the uh, that Frat party. Remember? With the toga boys and the giant inflatable giraffe.”

“That’s…not the same.”

“It is a little bit…anyway, Penny is coming closer so unless you want her to know we better cut the convo short.”

“Right,okay.” Beatrice straightens on her chair, “Remember, don’t tell anyone. Please Shells.”

“I won’t.” Shells says and Bea was sure she rolled her eyes the second those words left her mouth, “Jeez, have some trust in me. Bye Bumblebea.”

“By Shells.” Beatrice ended the call with a soft laugh, then dropped the phone on the table as she rubbed her eyes with the tips of her fingers, propping her face on her palms as she looked over at Nikki who had just finished her breakfast and was grinning at her. Beatrice grins back, wiping some of the golden yellow baby food from her cheeks and then keeping her eyes on that little girl for a little while.

Beatrice hoped, she hoped nothing bad would happen while she was out with her mother. Because the plan was still to wait a little bit more, they were going to the clinic again this week, so they could hold it in…besides her family’s uh…’enthusiasm’ could be very overwhelming as she well knows. She tapped her nail against the table as she breathes in deeply, looking down at the slowly growing bulge in her stomach, it was just a tidbit more visible now and then looked over at Nicole, “Well,” she pushes herself to her feet, “Come on Nikki,we gotta clean up and see nonna.”

“Aaa?”

“Yes,” she picks her up from the high chair, picking what was left of the mango purée with her free hand, “Nonna, she hasn’t seen you in so long, you grew a lot in such a short week, hm?” she really did, that onesie was already going up her little legs and Beatrice didn’t know how to feel about that. She didn’t know if she should be happy or not that Nicole was growing so much already, “You know what, let’s just take a bath and forget about this for a second.” and maybe think how to react when she met her mother later that day.

[rebeccathenaturalist]

Farewell to an Old Cedar–and Hello to a New One

Originally posted to my blog at https://rebeccalexa.com/farewell-to-an-old-cedar-and-hello-to-a-new-one/

Last Wednesday I had the opportunity to do some volunteering with Willapa National Wildlife Refuge. As the weather has finally turned better, with some warm, sunny days mixed in with the rain, it’s made conditions more favorable to getting outside. So when I got the email asking if I wanted to help plant some cedar trees, I jumped at the chance.

Western red cedar (Thuja plicata) is my very favorite tree. It’s not a true cedar, instead being a member of the cypress family Cupressaceae. But there’s something about the red-tinted bark powdered with Cladonia lichens, and the flat, scaly green needles that appeals to me. Maybe it’s because it’s some of the best of the coloration of Pacific Northwest forests all wrapped in one tree. Or perhaps it’s because I loved eastern red cedar (Juniperus virginiana) so much as a child, and I’ve just developed a fondness for cedars that aren’t actually cedars.

We have only a few tiny patches of old-growth forest here in the extreme southwest corner of Washington, mostly populated with ancient cedars and a few very old Sitka spruce (Picea sitchensis). My first real look at old-growth forest here was Teal Slough, a section of Willapa NWR that protects 140 acres. These ancient trees very nearly ended up logged a few decades ago, but for the heroic efforts of historian Rex Ziak. In the pre-internet times he spent months tracking down the then-corporate owners of this tract of land, and managed to convince them to cease logging with a letter, a photograph, and a rope loop the same circumference as one of these massive old cedars. (It’s a pretty incredible story that I got to hear him tell in person at Wings Over Willapa a few years ago.)

It really was at the eleventh hour, though. One of the first things an astute naturalist will notice when arriving at Teal Slough is that almost all of the trees are either very old–or very young. That’s because the undergrowth had been bulldozed in preparation for chopping down the couple dozen big trees left. It’s rebounded in recent years, but there are tons of scrawny young western hemlock trees (Tsuga heterophylla) along with a scattering of young cedars.

Adding more cedars was our original goal for that morning, which was cool but sunny. We brought ten young trees with us, but stopped at the old Refuge headquarters just down the road from Teal Slough. It turned out that the place we were originally going to plant them was where the old logging road cut through, and the heavy gravel made digging by hand impossible. So we planted eight to create a windbreak at the old HQ, which is itself going through a slow metamorphosis, and tucked the other two back into the truck.

And then it was time to head to Teal Slough itself. While we couldn’t plant trees, we could still pick up debris from the storms that came through. The bigger branches and fallen saplings made good material for outlining the trails, making them more visible to visitors. While the old logging road is pretty obvious, some of the footpaths that diverge off the main trail to showcase big trees further back in the woods were getting tougher to discern. So we spent some time lining them with some of the windfallen materials.

But I also want to touch on the original reason we were slated to go out there that day. See, those young cedars were originally going to be used to help start to close off the last hundred feet or so of the trail. This last bit leads down to one of the biggest of the cedars at Teal Slough, and–to be quite honest–my favorite.

As it turns out, she’s not doing so well. She’s been rotted out inside for some time; this is normal, of course; in many cases an old tree can survive its heartwood rotting away completely, since that wood is dead. But this old cedar has been beginning to lean noticeably toward the northwest in recent months. There’s no disruption at ground level yet, no cracks in the earth or roots bursting forth to the surface. A Refuge employee was on the trail a few months ago during one of the vicious windstorms we’ve had over the winter, and he noticed this tree swaying more than usual.

We don’t know when she’ll fall. It might be later this year; it might not be for another century. But it was decided that the trail to her should be closed off just in case she came down when there were people around. A massive tree of this size would be quite a danger indeed; the day after our volunteering a logger was killed in the Willapa Hills after being hit by a much smaller tree. Even a section of this tree coming down at the wrong time could be disastrous. And beyond a certain size there’s really no way to buttress such an enormous thing, especially when it’s located on a slope of super-saturated soil.

We walked down the trail to where she still stood with her much younger hemlock “buddy tree” growing out of her side; many of the old cedars have similar hemlock companions. It was apparent she was listing more than I had seen her in the past, and there seemed to be a little more space between her and her hemlock. We all spoke of how magnificent she was, and how sad that it seemed she was nearing her end.

I lingered behind for a moment while everyone else moved the “End of Trail” sign back up to where the path would be cut off. It was my last moment to be up close and personal to this beautiful old cedar. While technically, yes, I could still steal up the path before it was completely planted or fenced or however the Refuge will eventually close it, I respect their decision and decided this would be my farewell. I told the tree how much I had enjoyed visiting her, and thanked her young hemlock as well. I touched the lichens that adorned her furrowed bark, and looked up at the broken crown of branches at her top.

Then I turned, with many glances backwards at a Eurydice I would never be able to bring home. I dragged with me a young alder that had fallen in a storm, and added it to the small pile of branches placed across the trail as a temporary barrier. And we headed back down to the road, with the sound of a pileated woodpecker (Dryocopus pileatus) rapping high overhead, and a rough-skinned newt (Taricha granulosa) waiting for us at the trailhead.

I don’t know when the old cedar will finally fall over, but when she does her death will not be in vain. Like all fallen trees, the countless molecules she accumulated over a millennium of life will slowly start to disperse throughout the forest through the actions of detritivores and decomposers. She will feed bacteria and fungi, insects that then become food for birds, and a whole host of plants that will make use of the vast stores of nutrients she holds, and the sunlight that her passing will reveal to the forest floor. Nothing ever goes to waste in a forest, not least of all a fallen tree.

As we drove back down 101 toward the new headquarters, I gave a glance to where we had planted the young cedars. I would never live to see them achieve that great stature; in fact, not all of them may even make it to maturity, especially if cedar die-back continues in our too-hot summers. But it is hope that allows me to continue to plant new things amid loss. I cannot help but try, even against the odds. And I can do two things at once: I can mourn the eldest of the trees as she makes her literal last stand, and I can also loosen the soil for one of her relatives to set roots and grow.

Did you enjoy this post? Consider taking one of my online foraging and natural history classes or hiring me for a guided nature tour, checking out my other articles, or picking up a paperback or ebook I’ve written! You can even buy me a coffee here!

[chattercap]

What happens after the "happily ever after?"

The fairy tale is over. The Hero won. But the story is just beginning. Explore the web of intrigue in this emotional, suspenseful visual novel, depicted with hundreds of unique, animated illustrations. Who is the hero, and who is the villain? Who lives, and who dies? Your choices will decide.

Actala: The Hero's Shadow is a fully-animated, mystery/fantasy romance visual novel/otome game/dating sim.

You play as the Hero's childhood friend, who has spent years trying to protect him from the perils that assailed him at every turn. At long last, his quest is over. Even during the celebrations, however, new dangers emerge. Dangers more treacherous than monsters. Dangers that threaten the life of the kingdom’s strongest man.

Can the side character save the Hero?

Can you find the happily ever after?

Anything good about it?

The story is entirely depicted with unique, Live2D-style animated illustrations. Instead of the traditional sprite format, each scene has unique illustrations and comic-book style panels. (The demo has over 140 illustrations, including 45 CGs!)

Five love interests with dramatically different storylines, each with its own twists and turns.

Play as a sassy, older MC! The protagonist is older than most of the LIs, and you're given ample opportunities to tease them and make them blush. (I don't use affection gauges, so choose the fun dialogue options to your heart's content!)

Fragments of the Past: As you play, you get to unlock special scenes that explore the characters' pasts prior to the events of the main story.

Route map: Easily navigate through the story using the route map feature. No need to replay hours of dialogue/obsess over your saves!

A variety of options to make the reading experience easier, including different fonts, font sizes, text speeds, and customizable shortcuts.

Act 1 (Chapters 1-6) contains over 60,000 words (~4 hours of playtime). The full game will be 350,000+ words (20+ hours of playtime).

Where can you play it?

Act 1 is available for Windows now on Steam and itch.io! Mac, iOS, and Android are planned later in development.

I want some more info!

Drop me an ask! Or check out my website.

Also *psst* I'm pretty active over on Twitter. I post little dev tidbits there daily!

[blackjackkent]

FINAL Boss Battle Report!

Our buddy Baldy has 140 hit points and many friends, though not as many as I have. The dragon behind him is much more scary; it has 400. It's dominated by the brain itself, not by anyone on the field that I can kill, unfortunately, and its presence is definitely freaking Hector out something fierce.

Also on the field are four other mind flayers, the three dream guardians at 80HP apiece, and the Crown itself, which leads me to believe this is it, the big kahuna fight, and it's time to pull out all the stops.

The Crown has no hit points but will presumably do unpleasant things when its turn comes around.

Quick look at the other dream guardians with flycam, just because I can.

This one is Hector's obviously, the one we saw during the first half of the game.

These are the other two; I'm assuming if we had another tadpoled companion instead of Jaheira, there would be a fourth on the field? Wonder which of these is Karlach's and which is Lae'zel's. XD And why are neither of them githyanki. It feels like there are lore implications here.

(I haven't done an origin run - are these randomized or are they ones you get in Karlach and Lae'zel origin?)

Anyway. We have this notification on the side of the screen which usually indicates we just need to survive:

I'm doing a hard save at the start of the fight because it feels like it'd be really easy for me to fuck this up - particularly because it is CRITICALLY important that Buddy survives to the epilogue. And, after some consideration, I've decided everyone's first action is going to be spent summoning more friends onto the field.

So we kick off with Aylin, Yurgir, and Buddy exploding onto the field. Tragically, the dragon is immune to fire damage so this is probably not the right moment for Rolan's firestorm, so after some consideration and for roleplay reasons, I have Jaheira summon the Harpers as our fourth summon for the round.

As soon as our first summon hits the field, a bunch of tentacles spring up in response, which is unfair. This seems to happen just in general in response to movement around the brain; luckily they're only about 30hp each and can mostly be removed by Orpheus's black hole attack.

I get full control over the big summons, unlike the trash mob ones which ran on their own recognizance; this is a lot of new characters to learn to deal with on the fly.

After summoning Aylin, Lae'zel manages to almost completely eliminate one of the dream guardians on her first turn.

"Time to bite, my owlbear friend!" Hector says as he summons Buddy, which is adorable.

Aylin is (unsurprisingly) a paladin, so lots of smiting. I think there's probably more about to happen when these four turns are up so we need to be careful not to use everything up too fast though. She removes Hector's dream guardian from the field.

At this point the game crashed so I got to start over and took the opportunity to have Jaheira cast Hero's Feast on everyone before we come up.

Knowing what I know, and realizing that my companions shout about it as soon as the fight starts, I decide to keep everyone in place for the most part to reduce the number of tentacles and immediately kick off Orpheus's netherstone ability:

OK on closer inspection we need to get Orpheus CLOSE to the crown in order to do this. And I guess the idea is we need to do it within four turns before the nautiloid shows up?

Buddy is the coolest:

Overall this round is going a lot better, although it's a bit scary when the Emperor yeets itself all the way across the field and stuns half the crowd in one go.

Once again, the good guys are all frontloaded which makes the long string of enemy attacks very disheartening.

Karlach and Lae'zel wreck the Emperor's whole world, which is very satisfying to watch:

Orpheus's black hole is continuing to be super useful against all the tentacles that pop up whenever we move around.

Aylin goes down - and immediately pops right back up again because she is a sexy motherfucker.

Ho!

At this point I have everyone open up on the dragon while Orpheus starts booking it towards the Crown. If we can get rid of it, then all is left is the other mind flayers on the platform surrounding the brain and hopefully we can just turtle up around Orpheus and protect him while he works.

Victory on the Dragon! It had the most elaborate death animation too.

Orpheus reaches the Crown! This needs to channel for a whole round so fingers crossed.

"How long are you going to keep this up for?" the remaining dream guardian screams around her 9 remaining hit points. Girl, I don't know, you got another appointment somewhere?

Orpheus gets IMMEDIATELY stunned by a mind blast and loses concentration; we'll try again next round.

All of the illithids can cast Shield which is making them VERY challenging to hit. And I just realized we've reached the last turn before the nautiloid shows up. O.o:

Oh boy.

Unsurprisingly this means now we're getting aerial attacks in addition to everything else. But almost all of the illithids are dead at this point. Just need to keep Orpheus safe for one round!

Hector slips in a bit of ice in the middle of an aerial attack target, whoops D:

Orpheus kicks off the compulsion again. All of the illithids are dead. One of the dream guardians is the last survivor, with two hit points.

Aerial attack goes off, does not kill Hector! And we're now only friends between us and Orpheus so I think we've got this in the bag! Everyone together on the platform for the moment of triumph.

The last remaining Harper summon shoots the last dream guardian for her last two HP. Orpheus completes the summon. The screen shakes, then fades to white...

[rainyfestivalsweets]

3/9/24

I survived the funeral and all the peopling it required.

Here is my food for today. I did get a couple dog walks in, but no real "cardio". I felt drained so I took a nap. Got up and finished my book: Waisted by Randy Susan Meyers

Book summary: 7 women of mixed backgrounds go to a weight loss mansion. They realize they are getting fed amphetamines and that the film makers are working on a different project than they are told.

Kinda like the show, The Biggest Loser but book form, with an ending that ends with most women being thinner but focusing on body positivity.

I got this book because it leapt out at my the 1 time I was in my local library because they just changed their hours to close at 7 pm instead of 5 pm. For Cripes sake...it was my major pet peeve because I moved back here 5 fucking years ago and could never use the library.

So what are my thoughts? Rambling thoughts from a lonely, socially isolated person in search of connection and meaning that isn't caustic or traumatic:

I understand that thin privilege exists. The way people treat me now is different than how people treated me 120 pounds heavier. I have the same heart. I care about people very deeply, still. I just look better because I am eating less and moving more.... Yada Yada Yada.

I was lucky enough to not have a mom that criticized my body, but my dad did- constantly. His sisters were between 100-120 pounds. I hit that by 7th grade! That is also close to when the dieting started for me.

In 9th grade I was about 135-140 when I had a leg injury that didn't heal. I gained almost 20 pounds in a couple months and I never got it off after that.

By my junior year I was in the 170's. He tried to manipulate my weight class and had me eat more all summer only to realize that we couldn't jump weight classes like that so I had to crash diet from 210 to 176 in like 3 weeks. It was torture.

After that I spent some time focused on other things in High school that I had never gotten to do before.

By sophmore year of college I was 210 or higher. 220 by the time I started dating. After I got a sit down job I spiked to 240 and it was impossible to get below that for the most part, even with some severe dieting and regular exercise.

And over the year, working a desk job, you gain if your output and input don't align... as mine obviously didn't. I was eating too much. I dealt with a partner who was a diet saboteur and I did a lot of stress related emotional eating (job shit).

But realistically I was also unable to maintain a calorie deficit in a sustainable way. So the diet culture mentally that didn't help me were things like the "last meal" concept.... because the "diet starts tomorrow." "I'm on vacation" & "Cheat" meals were also bad ones. Being in party mode and over drinking was another terrible one. I would drink 4+ cocktails and eventually eat a fuckton of greasy food to cover it up... (and often puke in the process. Like I said OVERDRINKING). Using exercise to offset overeating was another one. I may think of more later.... but also having lots of junky foods in the house and going out to eat constantly didn't help.

I feel like I am doing good on my current trajectory. Healthier and healthier every day. I am super excited for this process to end tho.... it is starting to feel like "Will it ever end?"

I had some vegetables and a half sandwich at the funeral luncheon also. But here is from the lunch at a sushi/Ramen place on...

I mentioned I took a nap right? And I am about to cook dinner.

[smirk-mode]

Dave Lister - MegaMart Headcanon

So prior to his illustriously long career with JMC (would love to see his dress uniform with all those long service medals!!), Lister had a full decade of employment with MegaMart as a trolley attendant.

It strikes me as odd that there would even be such a job 140 years from now, not in our world as it currently is with drones, service robots and driverless cars... so my thoughts are this.

(Just to mention - there's no way Grant and Naylor could have predicted the future so they get a pass for this weirdness!)

In the future shopping trolleys won't be like the ones we have now. They might be hologrammatic, or programmed to work like very large roombas. But capitalists be capitalists, so when the extremely expensive and bloated app that tells these trolleys to either hologrammatically reset back to the trolley bay, or to return there like roombas return to their charging point, just decides to no longer work... Megamart decided that rather than fixing the system at substantial cost, they'd instead hire trolley attendants to move round the trolleys like the old analogue ones of old.

The thing is, the app would actually be an easy fix, but the shop management are either too stupid to fix it themselves or the settings are hidden behind a paywall.

And even though it's more expensive in the long run to hire people to run about collecting these trolleys than it is to fix the app, the management are too stupid to do the cost-effective thing and get it fixed - just throw cheap labour at it! (idiots)

What the manager of the Bootle MegaMart doesn't know was that one day while arriving to work and putting his stuff in his locker to start the day, Lister took a sneaky look at the work's computer, found the control app, stuck it on his own phone and got the trolleys back in full working order - He'd only push the odd trolley back to the bay if they were running short for customers, and he'd spend the rest of his shift drinking and flirting and/or sleeping with his coworkers and some of the customers. Every shift would end at closing time with Lister being yelled at to get the trolleys back in line, and Lister would happily oblige with the press of a button while the boss's back was turned.

So yeah, at the end of the day I believe there was no reason for Lister's job to exist, and as a result he spent a decade getting paid to do next to nothing!

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for leaving my coworker behind?

I'm an astronaut who was selected for a highly competitive journey: the third-ever human mission to Mars. Not only that but I was chosen to be the captain of the mission, which means that I would make any life-or-death decisions by default. All six of us had previous experience in space, and so all six of us knew the risks. It doesn't matter how high-tech the mission is; if something critical fails when you're 140 million miles away from Earth, there isn't much you can do.

We reached Mars without any major issues, and our surface mission was going well until the 6th sol (Mars day) when a dust/wind storm sprung up that was way more powerful than mission control had predicted. When the strength of the storm threatened the structural integrity of our home base, mission control pulled the plug on the mission. The six of us put on our flight suits and got ready to abandon our mission. It wasn't a fun decision. We spent years of our lives preparing for this opportunity, two years training as a team, and months in space traveling to a planet that we only got to be on for slightly more than 6 Earth days. However, considering the risk of the wind tipping our ascent vessel, which would have stranded all six of us on Mars, it was the right choice.

While we were making our way from base to the ascent vessel, the last astronaut in line was hit by a piece of debris. All of our suits are connected by computers, so I could see instantly that his vitals stopped displaying and the pressure in his suit dropped dramatically, which seemed to tell me that his suit had been pierced and he'd died, almost instantly. I got the other four crew members into the ascent vessel and then spent a precious few minutes trying to see if I could find the body.

Here's where I feel like an asshole: After a few minutes of looking and not being able to find anything in the dust storm, I also boarded the ascent vessel and gave the command to take off. Our crew, now five people because of the man left behind, made it safely back to the ship that was supposed to take us back to Earth. I felt like it was my fault, of course, since I was the one supposed to be leading everyone to safety, and I was the one who ultimately gave the command to leave. I knew I didn't have any other choice, but that didn't make it any easier. And then, when we were about halfway home, we got the news that not only had he survived the dust storm, but he was still alive on Mars, trying to figure out a way to get home. I can't help but think about all the things I could have done differently to get him on the ascent vessel, and how his odds of survival now are absolutely terrible because I left him behind instead of finding him when we were leaving.

So, am I the asshole?

[guts-solarsversion1989]

I need to say this cause it's pissing me off. If you see videos of Taylor's team helping fans through the heat wave while the stadium security does nothing, and your response is that the fans should just buy water instead of 'bothering' her team. Get the fuck off my blog and check your fucking privilege. These fans spent thousands of dollars to see Taylor already, have been there for HOURS while it is 140 DEGREES in that stadium. They are overheated, exhausted, cramped, and quiet frankly probably delirious. Someone already died and your response is that people should just buy water???? The FIRE DEPARTMENT got involved before the stadium. Learn to think for just two seconds before forming a response. This is not on the fault of the fans. This is the fault of the stadium and the stadium only. There is a heat wave happening. If you cannot change your stance after having time to educate yourself and think, I am disgusted.

[miniongrin]

Statute of Limitations (Immortals AU)

Wrote 800 words for an AU that’s been rotating in my brain for over a year that I still haven’t written, but I’m posting this anyway because I do what I want.

AU context, sparknotes edition: Ingo couldn’t get sent back directly to the future for timey-wimey reasons and spent 140 years immortal, chilling in the Coronet Highlands. Accidentally befriended/tamed/domesticated the feral cat of a man we know as Volo (also immortal) while he was waiting to catch up to the future and his twin. Now the Nimbasa trio has been reunited for over a year and Volo is the twins’ weird roommate and Elesa’s bitchiest bestie.

~

“Hang on,” Elesa says one night, as they’re sitting around the twins’ living room eating Sinnoh takeout, two and a half hours and two-thirds of the way into an hour-long documentary on Hisui. They keep pausing to give Ingo and Volo the chance to expound on whatever topic the documentary didn’t have the time or information to elaborate on themselves; Ingo’s infodumping is familiar and comforting, while Volo’s is a bit of a surprise but hilariously bitchy. Even when the documentary gets things right. “Volo—you consulted on this? Historically?”

“That makes it sound like I did so fifty years ago,” Volo sniffs. “I was a historical consultant on the topic. Mostly by mail; by the time they were making this, Cynthia was a little too popular for me to go wandering around Sinnoh without a good excuse for looking like her fraternal twin.”

So, yes, but in fifty words instead of one. Cool. “You like… you got paid money for this? Is this your job?”

Volo makes an dismissive sound. “Yes, I got paid for it, but it’s not exactly reliable work, nor does it pay greatly. As a historian, the best money is in research grants, but those are a little hard to get a hold of without extensive history at a university, and my need to shuffle identities every decade or so did clash with the need to accumulate that sort of history.”

“…So, yes but no?”

Volo rolls his eyes at her. “Yes, but no.”

Elesa mulls over that. She doesn’t unpause the documentary just yet, because there’s a niggling question in her brain now—

“Do you have a job?” Emmet asks before she can. “You’re here a lot.”

Volo huffs, deciding to take offense in that catty way of his, so Elesa jumps in before letting him answer: “Dude, you’re clearly loaded, I have never once heard you say a thing about hopping back and forth between here and Sinnoh and plane tickets aren’t cheap. Frankly, neither is this apartment, and I’d be surprised if you’re just letting the twins pay for it all.”

Volo regards her shrewdly for a moment, then hums as his eyes slide away. “Don’t worry about it.”

That is the least satisfying answer on the planet. She and Emmet immediately turn to Ingo for answers.

“I do not worry about it,” Ingo says immediately.

Elesa and Emmet’s eyes meet. Weird, suspicious emphasis with no real answer. Hmmm.

“I am Emmet. Are we harboring a fucking criminal?” Emmet demands.

Volo sputters. “I beg your pardon? That’s your first assumption?”

“That’s not an answer,” Elesa points out, entertained. “He’s only going to get more suspicious the more you avoid giving one.”

“And you, of course, are virtuously on my side,” Volo mutters bitchily. “The disrespect! And here I thought we had something. A camaraderie, if you will—”

“It’s not like you’re a poacher, Ingo would worry about it a whole lot if that were the case,” Elesa interrupts him. “I can’t really imagine you beating someone up—”

“I can,” Emmet says.

“—without going full-on crazy eyes,” Elesa corrects herself. “So this hypothetical crime you may have committed and have definitely not denied committing is probably, y’know. Petty. Which fits, because you are a petty, petty bitch!”

“I,” Volo says with dignity, “am the classiest bitch any of you will ever meet.”

“I am the classiest bitch in this room, but nice try.”

“You’re all cutting-edge fashion and avant-garde, that’s not the same thing as class.”

Elesa gasps loudly in overblown offense. “You take that back!”

“Ladies, you are both pretty,” Emmet intones. “Ingo. Has Volo committed crimes? Yes or no.”

Ingo pinches the bridge of his nose. “He doesn’t have a valid birth certificate and yet has had a functional passport for decades despite being stuck at twenty-seven. Of course he’s committed crimes, we knew that already.”

“I am Emmet. I meant for money.”

Ingo shrugs and reaches for a new can of soda. “Well, that’s none of my business.”

“Ingo.”

“Look,” Volo sighs, “can any of you truthfully tell me that you’ve never talked to a particularly out-of-touch gentleman whose lone battling Pokémon is holding a useless nugget of gold worth more than everything you have on your person and thought, you know, I bet I have an island somewhere that I could sell this moron?”

There’s a beat of silence. Emmet snorts. Ingo puts a hand over his face that doesn’t hide the amused curl to the corner of his mouth.

Elesa cackles. “Oh dragons, you scam rich people for a living? I need to hear about this right now immediately. Story time! Funniest scam you’ve done, let’s go.”

“Accusing me of being a scam artist now?” Volo snips facetiously, but he’s smirking. “I will confess to nothing. …At least, not until I have the chance to check the statute of limitations for a few things.”