#i think i need to actually perform it. like say it and perform it and record it and figure out where it sounds unnatural

[woso-dreamzzz]

Injured (Alba's Version) IV

Alexia Putellas x Teen!Reader

Summary: The aftermath

*TW: parental neglect, aftermath of suicide*

It takes Alexia nearly a week until she realises you're missing.

You're self-sufficient and independent. You've never needed much and it's not weird for Alexia to not see you for days on end.

You come home from whatever you spend your days doing and go straight to your room.

You make your own meals, she's pretty sure because she never has to make extra. Just enough for a family of three. Two when Olga is away from work.

It's a fleeting thing really, the only way that she realises you've disappeared.

She knocks on your door, intent on finally having that conversation about what you're planning on doing with your future.

There's no answer.

"Now's not the time to sulk, y/n," She calls through the door," If you don't come out then I'm coming in!"

Still silence.

"One! Two!"

Alexia doesn't wait for three, shoving open the door.

She expects to see you on your bed, sulking or whatever it is you do when she's not around.

You're not there though.

Your bed is made. Your clothes are packed away.

There's nothing out of place. Nothing to prove that this room was even really yours apart from a few neat stacks of paper on your desk.

Alexa glances over them, frowning as if they'd give her the answer to where you've gone.

She's been home since last night, the first one up and awake in the house. There's no way you could have snuck past her.

"Jaume!" She yells out," Where's your sister?"

"I don't know! Out with friends or something?"

That's odd.

Alexia can't remember the last time you mentioned a friend to her. To be honest, Alexia can't remember the last time the two of you actually had a conversation.

She shuffles through the papers on your desk.

Yes, she thinks, you must be with friends because there's three tickets to a ballet performance on Saturday.

You must be wanting to take them with you.

It's only when Alexia sits up that night, waiting for you to come home, that she gets the sinking feeling you're not coming back.

She waits for hours until the early hours of the next morning and the sun begins to rise before panic lances through her chest.

You've not come home.

She checks her phone, wondering if she missed a text saying you would stay at a friend's house but there's nothing.

She checks your room, just to see if you've climbed in through the windows but they're locked.

You are nowhere.

She pulls Jaume out of school for the day. She calls Olga to come home from Madrid.

She scours all of the places she thinks you hang out but you're nowhere to be seen.

It's almost like you've never existed in the first place.

The call comes in the evening.

It's Alba.

"I can't talk right now," Alexia says after two missed calls," I'm-"

"I'm sorry," Alba says instead.

"What?"

"I'm sorry." Alba chokes her words out like they're so physically painful she can barely say them. Like she's so numb that even talking is difficult. "I tried but..."

"Alba? What's happened? Listen, I really can't talk right now. I'm-"

"I really did try. They did too but it was already too late."

"Alba, what is going on?"

"We should go to the hospital," Alba says," I'll send you which one."

In the deepest pit of her chest, Alexia already knows what has happened. In some deep, dark part of her, she's known since Alba called. In the worst, most hidden piece of herself, Alexia has known since the beginning.

It's an awful thing for an aunt to see.

It's a terrible thing for a brother to see.

It's even worse for a mother to see.

A picture goes up at the ballet company.

(Alexia didn't even know you joined one).

It's of you smiling, the headhsot that they used on the website, displayed proudly in the main foyer.

'Rest In Peace' sits under it and a little plaque with your name and how long you lived. It states your interests with no hint about trains at all. It talks about your reserved disposition but mentions how you endeared yourself to everyone.

Flowers sit under it, bouquets upon bouquets from the dancers and the staff and audience members who have seen you perform.

(Alexia has never been to a performance once).

Support pours in from people Alexia hasn't spoken to in years. Old coaches. Old teammates. Old friends.

Everyone seems to have a fond memory of you but all Alexia can think about is the last words she said to you.

She can't remember them.

She can't remember what she said or how she felt or what she was doing.

There is a gap in her memory from that moment.

Everyone talks about you so fondly, with such clarity that Alexia can't replicate.

You have gone on a wisp of breeze and Alexia is left trying to catch the impossible.

Her mind circles around herself, trying to work out where this all went wrong.

She loved you. She loved you so much.

Her beautiful baby girl who was a little nervous and a little quiet but beautiful all the same.

The little girl who loved trains and ballet and doing all the super feminine stuff that Alexia had to learn when she was a bit older.

The people around her tell stories of you, like Ingrid talking about how you used to love having her braid your hair back but Alexia sits there numb.

She's been numb since she saw your body in the hospital morgue.

She's been numb since the funeral where you lay in your coffin, perfectly peaceful like you were taking a long sleep.

She's been numb since they all returned to Eli's house for food and drink to celebrate your life.

Alba is not talking to her, has not talked to her outside what is needed since she called.

Alexia hasn't even noticed, too preoccupied with the realisation that she's a mother that just had to bury her daughter.

It was not a disease that took you. It was not a heart attack. It was not a random attack on the street.

It was you.

You made this decision, decided that this world was not worth living in anymore. That you could no longer cope with everything happening around you.

Things that Alexia has no knowledge on and, now, will never have any knowledge on.

You thought that this path was better than returning home.

You thought that everything would be better, more peaceful if you took your life away.

People have been cautious around Alexia, seeing just how close she is to tears.

She didn't cry during the funeral when you were lowered down into the ground with nothing but a neat blouse and a skirt.

Nothing to take with you now that you're gone.

Olga had to pack your things away in your room because Alexia could not force herself to even step through the doorway.

Your things are gone.

You are gone.

And Alexia will never know why.

[marvelsmylife]

These wings are made to fly

Pairing: Rhysand x Illyrian!Reader

Request: Could you write a Rhysand x Illyrian!Reader where they meet Rhys is 20 and the reader is 18 and is about to get her wings clipped when Rhysand and his family visit the Illyrian camps and Rhysand feels the mating bond snap just before they’re about to clip his mate's wings and he stops them. Basically what his dad did for his mom, but Rhysand actually cares for his mate and her well-being

A/n sorry it’s so short

Masterlist

Request

Rhysand hated this. Hated witnessing the female Illyrians getting their wings clipped, especially when they performed this barbaric act in public. He always expressed to his father how cruel it was to strip females of their ability to fly. His father, in turn, would scold him for his words. He then went on to explain that if he ended up with an Illyrian, he would give him the option to not have his mate's wings clipped.

His mother, for the most part, would remain silent when Rhysand’s father would scold him for speaking up. Today was a different story. Today she decided to speak to her son privately after being scolded to praise him for having a kind heart. “I know that you will do great things when you become a high lord. I know you’ll put a stop to this madness. Just keep holding on.”

Rhysand kept hearing his mother's words as they continued to watch innocent females cry as their wings got clipped. He was ready to turn away and hide in his tent when he heard your cries. Looking over, he spotted you being dragged by your father and older brothers. Tears were streaming down your face as you begged for them not to clip your wings. “No” Rhysand whispered as he felt something in his chest.

That’s when he felt the mating bond snap between the two of you. Without thinking, Rhysand rushed to where you were and got between you and the male who was going to clip your wings. “No,” Rhysand said in a stern voice. His father was about to scold him for interfering when Rhysand added “She’s my mate and I’m prohibiting you from clipping her wings”.

Rhysand’s father had a stern look on his face but motioned for the male who was about to clip your wings to step away. “There will be no more wing clippings for today. Everyone go home.”

Just as you were about to relax, your father stormed over to where you were and started berating you. “It doesn’t matter that she’s mated to the high lord's son. She is my daughter and I demand that you clip her wings.”

Rhysand stood up quickly and got in your father's face. “You get no say in what happens to her wings. She is my mate and future high lady of this court and if you do not like it, you are more than welcome to move to another court.”

Everyone gasped at the mention of a high lady because such a thing had never happened in their lifetime. Rhysand’s mother had a proud smile on her face as she watched her son defend his mate with such conviction. His sister was proud of him as well and clapped while Rhysand finished speaking. When your father and brothers didn’t move, Rhysand’s father stepped forward, “I advise you to walk away before you regret it.”

Your father and brothers quickly retreated, but not before saying, “Keep her. She’s not welcome in our home anymore.”

You let out a sob as soon as your father and brothers left. Rhysand knelt beside you and held you in his arms. “It’s ok, it’s ok. I’m here, I’m here and I’m not leaving your side.”

You wrapped your arms around Rhysand’s neck and began to sob harder. “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” you kept repeating.

“You don’t need to thank me,” Rhysand wiped away your tears before placing a kiss on your forehead, “You’re going to come live with me, you’re my mate and I’m going to take care of you.” Rhysand looked over to where his mom was standing and noticed she was still smiling before she walked away with his father and sister.

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

Life has been really cruel to me. Maybe some hcs of the different ways Rindou says I love you? I love your content thank you for all that you do.

Oh that's too bad, I hope things get better for you! But here are the different ways Rindou says "I love you"

Definitely more of an actions kinda guy then a words guy when it comes to showing affection. Just feels more comfortable doing nice things to show he loves you rather then saying it.

However when he's drunk (or tired) he says it a lot. He can actually be a bit clingy while drunk and will pester you for kisses while proclaiming his love.

Always gives you his jacket when you seem cold

Drives you to anywhere you need to go 

If you seem interested in his food he'll offer you some (sometimes with the excuse that he's not hungry)

Doesn't hesitate to defend you against anyone who says anything bad.

Sometimes if you're watching his DJ performance, he'll lock eyes with you and wink before playing a song he knows you like.

Puts his arm around you if you guys are walking in a kinda sketchy place.

Let's you play about with his hair (he never let's anyone else do this)

Goes to stores he's never been to before and buys things he may find a bit embarrassing (manga or romance stories anything like that you're into) but he knows you like it.

Asked Ran for advice when he first met you despite knowing he would get teased (and still get's teased about it)

Always carries your bags for you if he thinks they're heavy

Has a habit of buying you random things he think you'd like or that reminded him of you. 

Automatically thinks of you when he hears the word 'pretty'

Let's you steal all his best t shirts and hoodies

He's very good at reading your emotions and takes the time to make things better for you.

Actually cares what you think about how he looks/ acts. He rarely ever cares what other's think.

Knows your favourite everything, your favourite food, favourite drink, favourite colour etc

Says a lot of little phrases like "stay safe", "text me when you get there", "I care about you" as well as a few pet names for you.

When he does say he loves you he blushes a lot

And finally, you're the one he took ages choosing an engagement ring for. The one he wants to spend the rest of his life with. He may not say the words too often but he has lots of little actions that speak for him, that say "I love you"

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

I'm just curious since I absolutely adore all your trans Ed fics, what made you read Ed as being trans? Is it more of a personal headcanon since we tend to see ourselves in fictional characters, or did you notice some tiny detail on the show that made you think so?

Oh my friend, I'm so glad you ask.

The cool thing about reading Ed as trans, I think, is that you do not even have to squint to do it. Literally you need to change exactly nothing, and this read suddenly adds a lot of nuance and additional juicy layers to his story and his journey with masculinity.

Ed's whole deal with masculinity, precisely exactly all of it, makes him feel so much like a trans guy who never outgrew the "I need to be hypermasculine so I pass" phase, fitting that read so precisely that given there are trans writers on the OFMD team I would be absolutely SHOCKED if at least some of it wasn't intentional. Every single trans guy I know has been through a version of this, where you come out and you know you're a man but you need everyone else to know, too, and so you lean very hard into masculinity to make damn sure you pass. And not just pass, but pass perfectly. Ed is forcing himself into such a heavy ideal of masculinity that it feels artificial; he needs to make sure everyone sees him as this perfect ideal of a masculine man that he cannot possibly live up to because no one could.

Certainly, parts of Ed's hyper-masculine presentation seem to be things that genuinely make him happy and bring him joy. That's important. Ed's happy to be a man, the problem is that he's trying to force himself into such a narrow idea of masculinity that it's stifling him. It's preventing him from enjoying more ""feminine"" things that he genuinely loves, because he's terrified of being seen as less of a man for it, and people like Izzy reinforce the idea that if Ed fucks up in his performance of masculinity, he's going to be in danger because of that. It's very real, and the added juiciness from reading Ed as trans adds so much to the great story that's already there, I think. There's this additional element of Ed knowing he's a man but needing to make sure everyone else could never doubt it, there's an additional perceived danger to slipping up, there's a sort of jealous admiration for guys like Stede who seem, at least on the surface, so much more comfortable with a different type of masculinity that Ed wishes he could have more of.

And on top of that, there's just a lot of other little additional things, like:

Ed making his beard his whole brand, it just screams beard dysphoria and "no one could ever claim I'm not a man because the beard is my whole THING."

Something about his relationship with his name, and how hard he has to try to get people like Izzy to call him by his name in front of others

The way Ed is dehumanized when he dares to step outside a very safe, masculine gender presentation - it's why Izzy saying "this thing you've become" when Ed is wearing a robe and painted nails hits so hard for me, I think

Okay. okay. listen. You know the scene where Ed makes CJ whip him in the balls. Listen. Ed baby. It just SCREAMS "people here don't know I'm trans and I don't know how much getting hit in the balls should ACTUALLY hurt so I'm gonna lay it on really really thick just to be safe"

There's a lot to be said about Ed and his clothing in a lot of directions, but I'm gonna leave it at how he's really figured out a safe set of clothing that works for him and consistently allows him to be read as this super masculine guy, and he's scared to step away from that. Also, I really like imagining the full-fingered gloves at the end of s1 as a way to cover up the nail polish on his fingernails until it wears off.

I think it's very sweet that Ed tends to be very private when talking about his personal and sex life with others, but a very, very easy explanation for how that got started is he just doesn't want to go around sharing personal details about his body with people!

Yeah. A trans read of Ed is so shockingly easy, fits so well, and adds so much to his journey, frankly I'm amazed it's not more common.

[physalian]

Character Types: The “Fixer”

Oh look it’s another chance to bring exposure to casual traumas in real people thinly disguised as writing advice heyyyyy

The “Fixer” is the character who puts everyone else before themselves, but isn’t quite so self-destructive as the jaded loner—this person’s whole schtick is that everyone else’s needs and emotions come first, which will usually end up with them behaving and appearing very extroverted, fun, and kind.

They have no idea they’re doing it, either, and see nothing wrong with their behavior or what logic there is in saving a little slice of the pie for themselves. They’re not self-loathers or angsty abusers and if there are parts of themselves that they don’t like, they probably think of these aspects as “what can you do? Oh well” with zero motivation to exercise their demons, because they don't see them as demons but something they deserve to suffer with.

Or, they know exactly what they’re doing and cannot see the merit at all in themselves deserving a piece of the pie, as if they’re inherently lesser than everyone around them for Reasons they cannot articulate, Reasons that, if their friends or loved ones share the exact same traits, they’d bend over backwards and make excuses for. They have normalized their existence that there’s nothing left to angst over. “I am lesser” is just. A statement of fact.

These characters come in several flavors:

The parental figure (possibly single) or “mature” one in the family who’s always prepared, always has the big backpack with bandaids and wet-naps, probably the first to say “we’re family, all’s forgiven” in effort to keep the peace.  They’re the person who literally eats last or not at all, even when conserving food isn’t necessary, usually with the smallest, now-cold serving. Also can be the parentified sibling.

The person in a romantic relationship doing a whole lot more giving than receiving, whether it’s physically or emotionally, insisting that they’re fine, that their partner need not go out of their way to do XYZ for them, but is incredibly in tune with anything and everything that their partner might need. They’re likely to be in an abusive relationship, either emotionally or physically, or both, because a sensible partner who loves Fixer as much as the Fixer loves them wouldn’t let Fixer get away with an unfair share of back-breaking emotional labor. The abuser takes full advantage of it and laughs when they’re not looking.

The “mom” of the hero team/friend group, similar to the actual parental figure, but in this dynamic, everyone’s about the same age. The Fixer probably isn’t the leader, but second or third in command, as they don’t think themselves capable of making the Big Decisions and prefer running support. They take the most cramped bedroom, the most undesirable odd jobs, and do far more than their share of the chores and other tasks, probably without the rest of the group realizing it until something happens to them. No one asks this of them, they automatically assume this is their burden and don’t even think to suggest equal shares.

Alternate case:

They’re the “leader” because no one else wants to do the job, pretending to be way less stressed than they are and habitually protecting their team from the worst of it with little white lies, to the point where no one has any idea how much they’re suffering in silence until they eventually break. As opposed to a properly communicative leader who regularly delegates important tasks and is very transparent in all their decisions. They might also be the leader because they don’t think anyone else in their team could perform as well under pressure, pressure they’ve been under their whole life.

I actually wrote two of these, the Original, and then the Original Who Went to Therapy, between two different WIPs.

Original was the second in command of a plucky space crew in the sci-fi WIP I always mention, who was very versatile and OP and thus took it upon himself to take the lion’s share of the work around the ship because he could do it quickly and delegating the tasks to the rest of the crew was, to him, objectively pointless. He was also an empath with an ability he couldn’t turn off, literally stuck doing the emotional labor far and above normal human conditions.

He was a firm believer in “if I can, I must” and repeatedly put himself in dangerous situations because he’s the only one who could escape them alive, and to not act would be selfish, and above all else, he feared looking selfish. This all came to a head when Magical Shenanigans ensued and his own powers turned against him, stressing him to the point of his body going “we are taking a Break” and he got bedridden until he learned how to talk about his feelings and let people in.

While he was sick, him Not Being There for when the rest of the plot carried on without him meant that  his team very badly felt his absence because he did so much without them realizing it, and they did not handle it well, picking a different character to shovel all the labor onto, until they too overstrained themselves, and an intervention was necessary.

He was the friendliest character of the team to their newest member, their only cheerleader when the whole rest of his team was skeptical. He was also quite desperate for validation and approval, to the point where he made a bunch of little white lies that quickly caught up with him, pretending to be something he’s not so people would like him.

—

When I ripped the above character out of that WIP and tossed him and another character into Eternal Night, he got an upgrade and a whole bunch of therapy.

Enter Dorian. The main difference between these two is that Dorian can actually stand up for himself and establish boundaries, and got a friend/girlfriend who went “I can fix him” and actually did. He’s still very much a Fixer with a Martyr complex, a vampire who only turned to make sure the people he was stuck with held up their end of a deal and did not expect to keep living after the deal was done…for about three hundred and fifty more years.

This is a character who was a parentified Fixer, sixteen years older than his oopsie little sibling, and did not handle it well when they were separated. He’s very obvious to everyone who knows him, especially when those people have known him for centuries, and know “yeah give that one a little kid to protect and he will predictably fall on his own stake”.

One of his love interests (he’s poly), the “I can fix him” girlfriend, is not at all afraid to call him out on his martyr bullshit, or when he’s bending over backwards trying to save people who don’t want to be saved, or risking his own sanity, health, and reputation for people who insist they don’t want his help.

I specifically designed and introduced Kymiria to look and act like a stereotypically jealous mean girl who doesn’t want to share her man with the protagonist. Except. She’s right. About everything. She knows Dorian extremely well and got him through some awful shit and isn’t about to stand by and watch him break himself again for someone who she thinks doesn’t deserve him (and she’s also right on that point). How she goes about protecting him is totally different.

But for the mortals who live with his coven, he’s the most popular vampire around and the favorite by all the children for a country mile. No one who hasn’t been living with him for decades has any idea that there’s anything traumatic behind his smiles.

—

I like writing Fixer characters because I don’t get to see enough of them. They’re not as popular as the Angsty Sad Boy and certainly not as popular as My Trauma Excuses My Aggression Boy. People who have suffered tend to fall on either end of two extremes: Either they continue the cycle of hate and abuse or they make absolutely certain no one in their life will ever suffer what they did. I like writing and reading the latter, particularly when they're men as most “fixers” we think of emphasize “womanly” traits of kindness and nurturing.

These characters are also their own worst enemies. Their inability to treat themselves as deserving of respect and forgive themselves continuously gets them into sticky situations that they wouldn’t be in if they were just a little bit more willing to put their own needs first.

—

If you're interested in reading my take on Fixers in a bona fide novel, check out Eternal Night of the Northern Sky!

[twisted-confessions]

https://www.tumblr.com/cheekinpermission/746227919612936192?source=share

Hope not late! 25 , 5 and 28👀👀

Nope not late at all!!

25. Which character(s) would you actively avoid? Personally, you would not see me anywhere near Vil, Rook or Sebek.

I can appreciate Vil's efforts to have people more self-confident in their own image however I absolutely despise how forceful he goes about it, especially with Epel and the dance troupe. If I EVER caught him trying to change parts of myself that I'm proud of (my australian accent, my nerdy sense of fashion, etc.) it would be ON SIGHT- (Can you tell I'm still not over Book 5?)

For Rook, i can say I..... respect his dedication and loyalty to his beliefs. However? That man... he scares me... Also, i'm still extremely salty over the VDC/SDC results WE SHOULD HAVE WON THAT AND WE LOST TO THE TWST EQUIVILANT OF BABY SHARK- Rook, i don't care about your reasonings for why we weren't at our best, I've seen the video performance AND THE NRC TRIBE FUCKING NAILED IT!!!

And then our croccy boi- Now don't get me wrong, I do love Sebek as a member of the first year gang of idiots. I also don't know a lot about him personally since I've only known him in events and havent started Book 7 yet. From what I have seen, he does annoy me a lot with his blatant disregard and disrespect to anyone who isn't Malleus or Lilia. His ego and his racism also really piss me off and make me wanna slap some sense into him. I understand it comes from a place of self-loathing but dude, PLEASE read the room for once and not screech our ears off. I'm certain that I would eventually befriend him but if we actually met face to face, it would be a miracle for me to not punch him 1 minute after his insults.

5. If you could have any unique magic / signature spell in the game, which would you choose and why?

Ooooh I've never thought about that until now actually. Personally, i would want something that would be useful and practical both in a day to day life or in a fight since I'm not very physically strong. Going with that idea, i'd more than likely pick either Split Card or Paint The Roses/Doodle Suit. Multiple me's to help me do chores around the house or distract someone in a fight? YES PLEASE!! I also have a lot of sensory issues so I feel like Paint the Roses would really help me eat the things i need to or make a certain texture that feels funny to me turn comfortable. We've also seen how useful it can be in a fight during Riddle's Overblot when Trey turned the rosebush into cards and saved us.

If just for fun though, I'd love to try out any of Savanaclaw's UM's/SS's. Now THAT would be chaotic heheh.

28. What is the TWST related content that you've produced that you are most proud of?

I personally really love my HTTYD x TWST fic that i've been writing. Knowing myself, I probably wont ever finish/post it so I'll have what I've written linked here for anyone who's interested in my favourite brainworm lol. Bella is a very special oc near and dear to my heart as she's the first one that I've enjoyed writing for since being kicked out of home over a year ago. She gave me back my creativity and I couldn't be more thankful for it.

Right now, I've even been imagine a Fairly OddParents x TWST fic in my head which I think would be a BLAST to write, where my Twisted version of Timmy Turner (a girl called Izzy) would use their rule free wish to be a part of Wanda, Cosmo and Poof/Peri's family as their bio daughter when they're no longer her godparents and becomes a half-fairy hybrid in the process. The idea of a "magicless" girl at NRC who out of nowhere suddenly can not only make but GRANT wishes that bend the laws of reality around her is absolutely hilarious to me. Haha take that you pricks, you thought I was weak? BOOM you're a hedgehog, now you really are a prick. Rewatching FOP and seeing how Timmy can be such a menace/pos really makes me think he would fit in GREAT amongst NRC lol.

I'm also really proud of the Card edits I've done for other people where I turn their OC's into different rated cards so it looks like it's from the game. Seeing all the different kinds of OC's and hearing about their characters is so amazing.

Feel free to send in any more asks or questions!! I love interacting with the Twst Community <3

[clangenrising]

I know u said I don’t have to apologize but I would like to preface this with I’m sorry for upsetting you, I wasn’t trying to say that those with cluster b personalities are more likely to like- Hurt people, just that their “level of evil” is at a point that I can’t imagine someone just… choosing if that makes sense? I wasn’t trying to like make them little sad soft boys just that, based on my own experiences of having a mental illness that does disposition me to do bad stuff, their thought processes seemed similar to mine rather than how I’d imagine a non-mentally ill person’s thought process would work, apologies

I understand that. But I specifically told you not to apologize to me. I know it hurts to get critiques like that, especially in such a public space, but I need you guys as my audience to be brave about that stuff, okay?

It takes a lot out of me to feel like I need to console my audience any time i push back on something they say. It's kind of exhausting to do so much emotional labor.

As well, you're still not understanding my point, or if you are you're ignoring it to justify saying what you said when you really don't have to. Razor and Sardine did "just choose" to do the things they did and they did them for racist, sexist, and egotistical reasons. That's the whole point of their characters. People can choose to be harmful and just because that choice feels justified to them doesn't make it okay and it also doesn't mean that they must have a sympathetic reason for making it or they must be mentally ill.

I'm not trying to say anything about your experience with mental illness. It sucks to have a mental illness that causes you to make poor choices or hurt those around you, I know from experience. But I think you're projecting onto these characters and that was the point of my original response; to say "You are reading my characters extremely incorrectly in a way that is actually very harmful to people who actually have those disorders".

Please stop for a second. Think about what I said and actually work on your beliefs/behavior. Do not return to my inbox to perform contrition.

The behavior itself is the real problem, not whether or not I personally got upset. You don't know me. I'm a stranger on the internet. You shouldn't be trying so hard to make me like you. This goes to all of my followers - you shouldn't be so focused on getting my approval that you ignore the actual message I'm trying to send. I want people to learn and grow, I don't care if they come and apologize for having a bad take.

[red-ruth]

So like…. could Marc actually win this?

Short Answer: I mean…… yeahhhhhh????

Long Answer: *incomprehensible screaming* …… and in this essay I will-

Because I genuinely don’t know what to think of Marc’s mindset rn. The whole gresini team + Marc seem hesitant to announce the championship challenge.

When Frankie did the interview post Misano 1 w TNT sports he identified their weakness as Friday, which is true. Winning the title means he needs to sort out his fucking qualifying. The tracks where he’s falling behind, he pushes more to find the limit and make the difference, but the other side of that line is him binning it and sending him down the grid. He has the speed to be on the front row pretty much every track now, even the ones where the gp24s are in a championship of their own. He can’t keep recovering from several places back every weekend, only to get up to the podium by half way through the race, at which point Pecco and Jorge have fucked off into the distance. He needs to be up there terrorising them.

However, the amount of tracks left that DO favour Marc are significant.

To start with, the counter clockwise circuits. Phillip Island and Valencia. We could very well see a performance there like we saw at Aragon and what was hinted at in Germany (Sachsenring 2024 what could’ve been, always in our hearts). I wouldn’t say we can guarantee wins, I’m aware of how powerful jinxes are, and Aragon did have an abysmal lack of grip, but they’re tracks where his performance is expected to be the best. We can’t necessarily say the same for the rest of the tracks, but what we can say about them is that they’re a complete fucking lottery.

Thailand, Indonesia, Japan, Malaysia, Australia = anything could fucking happen. It’s no doubt that if it were actively raining (could be likely) Marc would come out on top, as we’d seen in misano 1. But what we also learnt from that race is that Marc only really needs a slightly damp track to beat the pace of the gp24s. He got up to the front because it started pissing down for half a lap yeah, but if he sorts out qualifying, he’d be up at the front in the first place, and a damp track would then allow him to keep up and extend a potential lead. More than that, you’ll see more riders coming through on an even playing field to take points out of Martin and Pecco. Exactly like Aragon. The Asian leg, in the past, has always been a bit of a gamble, and that’s where Marc will thrive.

Realistically, Valencia being the final race means that if Marc came in to that final round near equal on points, he could win the title. It would require a perfect weekend from him, Valencia being dusty plus counter clockwise would be good for that, like Aragon.

In order to be close enough going into it though he’d definitely have to be on the podium every round from here on out. Probably more 2nd’s than 3rds so that he’s scoring more than either Jorge or Pecco. Aswell as a handful more wins.

He’d also have to bargain on Jorge and Pecco fighting amongst themselves, taking points off each other. And the both of them having a few more dnfs/bottles like Pecco in Barcelona/Aragon (Peccos horrific starts not his crash w Alex) or Jorge in Sachsenring/Misano 1.

Another factor I haven’t seen people talk about, THE BEAST. For one, he is not far behind Marc, which could be a threat to him, of course. But if we imagine a situation like silverstone happening at more circuits where the gp24 could hold a massive advantage, that’s taking significant points off Pecco and Jorge, drawing the entire fight closer together. To then alternate to tracks where the playing field is more even, then we have Marc coming out on top, and Enea realistically falling behind so he can’t really make an advantage stick (like how we’re seeing him drop away again despite his dominant silverstone performance)

But I’m gonna be real….. I know I’ve just written multiple paragraphs about how Marc could win this, I don’t actually think Marc is trying to win the championship. I think he could, I honestly really, really do. I think if he had something to prove, we’d be having a completely different conversation. But in my mind, he’s already proven himself. We all know that next year, Marc is going to be alongside Pecco. There are less ducatis on the grid, and a lot of the riders on the remaining bikes, have never been Ducati riders before. If we can count on Ducati taking another massive step forward in development (fuck even any step at all at this rate) it’s clear that this is going to be a Pecco v Marc showdown. He’s staked his claim in that.

Marc doesn’t need the 2024 title. He’s saying he’s spending the rest of the year figuring out the bike in combination with his riding style. He’s doing this because he’s achieved all his goals already, get on the podium, win a race, get that seat, enjoy racing again. Tick, tick, tick, tick. He’s done, he’s checked out. He’s being realistic about his performance. As he was saying about the sprint yesterday, “If we start 7th, I finish 4th. If I start 1st I finish 4th.” And you can see the fucking BALL of a time Marc is having at Gresini, (oh my god what an incredible team I might write a whole post on my thoughts on them later). He’s enjoying racing again, and he’s relishing in that feeling coming back. I’m sure Marc is honestly satisfied in sitting back and having fun in a low pressure environment before he moves to Ducati Corse and locks the fuck in.

HOWEVER, he also has absolutely nothing to lose. For someone like Jorge who’s going to a less competitive team next year, or Pecco who’s gonna have an 8 times world champion in the box, they both are conscious of the fact this could really be their last chance at a title. Marc could come 4th, 3rd, 2nd or 1st this year and it means literally nothing because next year is where the real fight is.

In Misano 1 Marc took the risk during the rain to get up to p1 because he could afford to crash, and Pecco couldn’t. Which got him the win. If he’s planning on riding like that for the rest of the season he really could win it. But need I remind you, Pecco didn’t fight him because he wasnt Jorge Martin. Maybe Marc and the team are trying to put out the fires the media are lighting and they don’t want to draw attention to the fact that Marc very well could win this. If his strategy in those situations is fuck around now, find out later, in which the “finding out” is “win or we crash”. He’d be bargaining on Martin and Bagnaia disregarding him as a real contender. His best bet is laying low and striking when they don’t expect him too.

Am I seeing mind games where there aren’t any? Maybe. Is this delusional hope? Of course! And I also don’t think it’s something that Marc is gunning for. Like I genuinely believe the title is only gonna happen if it… falls into his hands, you know? It relies so much on luck. Getting race conditions he prefers, Pecco and Jorge bottling. Enea preforming only when it’s convenient. Not Crashing In Quali For Fucks Sake Marc. And I think Marc knows that too. This title is something that’s almost completely out of his control. He doesn’t have the bike to simply be the better rider, the only thing he can do is maximise the chances he gets in the next few rounds. If he wins or loses this, it’s not because of his skills as a rider, it’s because he was dealt the hand he needed.

But if this happens, if he is dealt this hand and he rounds the final turn of the final lap in Valencia in P1, his ninth championship secured, if I can allow us all to dream scandalously for a second, this season will go down in fucking history. In a career of incredible championship fights, controversies and highs and lows, nothing will beat whatever happens in the coming months…..

…

cut to marc in the gravel in a few hours time

[ballsbalb]

ibr, the ter stegen hate is wild to me.

maybe it’s just because i’m a keeper and it’s how i was raised in the footy world, but it’s wild how quick fanbases (cough cough barca fans) forget

a year and a half ago, people were calling him the best keeper in the world, and within the year people were calling him washed & saying he had to leave

imo, barca fans (of which, again, i feel i need to clarify every time i say something about this club, I AM ONE) are just spoiled. for decades, we had the likes of messi and ronaldinho and xavi and iniesta and victor valdes, and now we don’t, and people seem obsessed with finding a singular scapegoat for it all when it’s a systemic issue that has been building for years

first its Frenkie, then its Lewa, then its Araujo, then its Gundogan, then it’s Ferran, then it’s Ter Stegen, it’s an endless loop of people pointing fingers and yapping about “arggg get out of my club arggggh” like any of that would actually change anything

realistically, who is a keeper that is not only available on the market, but experienced enough to be a leader in a squad of a lot of youngsters but also young enough to stay at the top for at least a few more years, a strong enough character to be an important component in the dressing room, has the mental and psychological capability to play for a club like Barca where players are crucified for the smallest of things by press, fans, and coaches, is great at playing out of the back whilst also being a good shot stopper, and is responsible enough to be a role model for the younger guys on the team? cause i can’t think of one, and i fuckin doubt any the morons throwing a fit on twitter could, either

its wild to me how insane some people’s mindsets are, where saying shit like “tragic: ter stegen found alive in monaco” and screaming “get out of my club” at their tv and on twitter to their fellow mush-brained fuckheads

MATS has never been a perfectly consistent keeper, sure, and he has his shortcomings especially when it comes to shot stopping, but the guy’s given a decade to the club, and he’s been pretty damn great in that time- he’s one of, if not the best ball-playing keepers i’ve ever seen. the speed with which fans & press will turn on their own players is insane to me, especially at a club like barca where everyone boasts of being “more than a club” and then spams “ARR GET OUT ME CLUB” the second anyone does anything wrong

the blatant entitlement & hypocrisy among so many barca fans online, especially here & on twitter, is just wild to me, because you can call out bad performances all you want but when you’re making nazi jokes and saying that you’re fantasizing about shooting a footy player, let alone one that’s given ten years of his life you your club i’m sorry, but you’ve lost your fucking mind

[adimouze]

In your opinion is this it? It’s definitely over? I want to be positive because the complete silence around Checo doesn’t sit right with me, but seeing Daniel like that reminds me a little bit of 2022, even if I think he knows what his future will look like. Now we have Ted and The Race “backing up” Danny and I don’t know if it’s a good or a bad sign. Red Bull literally fucked everything up

I don't think Ted/The Race backing Daniel up means anything, they would happily shit on his corpse again if it means more engagement I just think they were either 1) told or 2) realized that Daniel's stats aren't shit, in fact he's almost equal to Yuki in race results, and that pushing forward with an "out by COTA" narrative would look bad if Daniel isn't actually out by COTA. So if they start putting out softer statements like this they can say "oh well WE never believed the rumours!"

And honestly nonny, I can't begin to predict what RBR is doing so if they go insane and get rid of him by COTA nothing i say now would matter. BUT I do work in corporate law and (while i did have a mental breakdown over the rumours an hour ago) I don't personally think they can easily get rid of Daniel like that. Mainly because --

Idk if VISA is daniel's personal sponsor per se but they seem to have adopted him as a brand ambassador for the VCARB project. They probably would have clauses that require Daniel's presence at sponsor events and marketing. These are all guesses and idk if it's true for Daniel but usually the contracts I work with have these expectations. They would have PAID either VCARB or Daniel himself for his presence at these events. COTA would be one major event they definitely planned other sponsorship events for. Cash App would get a boost and they would need Daniel's face for it. It would incur them losses to have to sacrifice a name like Daniel Ricciardo for the rookie.

I know F1 contracts are apparently the flimsiest in the world, but Bayer did mention Daniel does not have any KPIs or performance clauses. It did backfire on him at Mclaren but I would expect his team to at least have some experience in avoiding this fate? But like, he isn't even racking up costs like Logan and in a dire skewed H2H. Like @danthropologie said, they have upgrades coming up that would need people who have used the previous upgrades and know how they work to properly utilise feedback in.

Also lol. Don't think even RBR itself would allow a midseason dump to Daniel at this stage. Prodigal sons would not be allowed to suffer such an indignity, especially if they want his goodwill back at some point? Yeah they definitely threw him to the wolves this weekend but...I personally don't think they would pull the rug on Daniel like that halfway through a season. They would at least let him tell people first so he/his team/RBR can capitalise.

He's a very good distraction from the Checo of it all right now. Daniel effectively removed the fact that RBR is failing, losing the constructors, Max is at risk of leaving from the news cycle. 2025 is another matter.

So yeah. Based on that, I personally don't think Daniel will get replaced. However I'm only a liddol person and I am biased so a lot of what I just said may be based on how I feel personally it should work out.

I'm worried for Daniel in 2025. But COTA? Not necessarily. Again I don't know shit. But I think a lot of thoughts.

[allwormdiet]

Buzz 7.3

We gotta get back to Dog City

Hmm. Does lunch keep being a problem for Taylor? I hope that isn't the case, but hope doesn't do much here

Don't love the slur, again, but it was 2011 and somehow I don't think Rachel could be convinced to stop

And hey, Taylor actually wins an argument with Rachel! Good for her

(Also very funny to me that Taylor doesn't get why the others think she's especially cautious. Like, sure, broadly speaking when she has the time she prefers to take the analytical approach, but she also repeatedly flings herself into dangerous scenarios with nothing but bugs, a knife, and bloody-minded determination)

She knows all their stories and cares about all of them so much... It's sweet.

Considering the state of Brockton Bay, yeah, I can't imagine the dogs are having a better time than the humans, and that's discounting the fucking Nazis dogfight rings.

Exactly. Peaceful, companionable silence, and also a bunch of dogs. Nothing not to love here.

Except the fucking Nazis

Empire lore, my favorite :/

It's gotta fucking suck when one of the largest criminal enterprises in the entire city is run by fucking Nazis who don't even have the shame or need to hide it. The best thing a fascist can do is stop being a fascist (by whatever means necessary), but the second best thing a fascist can do is be too chickenshit to say or do anything about what they believe. Unfortunately, a fucking Nazi supervillain does wonders for the confidence of fascists.

Fuck these guys, and also kudos to Bitch for staying even-keeled through this

Of course these fucking maniacs demand a killing as part of their initiation. Disgusting

She's gonna get used to this kind of thing, I'm sure of it

Fucking awesome vibe. Gross, absolutely, but also rad as fuck

Skitter has this whole, like. Jojo Part 4 onwards thing going on with her power that's really neat. On the face of it, insect control is neat but not game-breaking, but she's used it in order to make her own costume and armor, to create decoys, to act has her own costume and to fake like she's able to turn into bugs. There's no way she isn't going to get more creative from here, regardless of whether her power gets stronger on its own her creativity with it is the greatest asset.

"I don't like committing overwhelming acts of violence, but if it convinces my enemies to fuck off forever that means it's the correct tactic"

Not that I'm gonna cry over some fucking Nazis, but I keep glancing down at Taylor's footing to see how she's doing on this slippery slope

Yeah, unfortunately the dogs have been threatened once and Rachel can't be present to keep watch forever. This has been made into an issue.

Current Thoughts

There's only like 40 Taylor/Rachel fics on AO3, that's outrageous, how is there not more

Taylor's increasing versatility with her powers and also increasing comfort with performing acts of violence both seem to be moving at a remarkable pace; the former is a lot less worrying than the latter.

I'm sure this will be the last trouble with the Empire during this arc, definitely don't know that they're gonna escalate into outrageous murderous violence or anything

[little-mouse-adventures]

@orangerosebush's post here, with my comment and @fowlblue's tags today got me thinking.

Artemis Senior has been teaching his son matters of business from a young age. Not only was Artemis, at 11 years old, discussing stocks with his father, but Fowl Senior had been imparting his wisdom onto his son for years by that point, discussing the ever-increasing value of gold with him before tucking him into bed. Even outside of pure monetary value, Sr. had tried to go legitimate with his business dealings, leading Artemis to have a few legal ventures of his own.

We also see very early on in the books that Artemis has been regularly using Butler as a resource for his plots: bouncing ideas off him was apparently a fairly common tactic when he was scheming.

Both Artemis Senior and Butler are interested in (or at least, not opposed to) educating Artemis on the ways of their lifestyle(s). It would be Artemis Senior who would have taught his son the value of banks and safety deposit boxes and hidden safes but it was Butler who was actively working with Artemis to rob those safety deposit boxes.

In the same vein of breaking-and-entering, TLC also gives us the fun little moment where Butler hands Artemis his own lockpicks, to get into the workings of the bomb.

With one line we learn that Artemis knows how to pick locks, but does not have his own set of lockpicks. Butler, on the other hand, has both the tools and knowledge how to use them. Partnered with a brief mention in TTP of some the specific trades of those previously employed by Artemis Senior (including such things as crime lords, insider traders, and cat burglars), we can extrapolate that Artemis Senior would generally hire someone to pick a lock for him, rather than do so himself.

It's pretty logical to conclude then that Artemis learned big-picture management from his father, and day-to-day skillsets from his bodyguard.

Essentially, Artemis Senior taught Artemis how to run a criminal empire. Butler taught Artemis how to be a criminal.

[jabeur]

you know i'm so happy for carlitos, the way people criticized him at the end of last season/beginning of this one even saying he's not as good as he seemed and won't be winning consistently.. and he went and won rg and wimbledon back to back and proved them all wrong and most importantly he's happy

[chiimeramanticore]

[rickybaby]

Peter Bayer is so annoying, every time he opens his mouth it doesn't make Daniel's situation any better. He brings chaos to everything around Daniel with his cowardice and inability to stand up for his team. How can he say that it's good that Daniel deleted his IG when we have to ask for updates on his life through IG posts that he posts no more than 20 times a year. I hate peter so much 🤬🤬🤬

In the past few days, I've made up my mind to not pay any attention to what's said in the media about Daniel - whether that's from Helmut, Bayer, Laurent or Christian.

Red Bull is currently a political bloodbath and Daniel, being the only driver without a contract, has become a pawn in that game. Whether this means Daniel is more likely or less likely to get renewed for next year - I don't know. These past 4-5 races have shown Daniel in on an upward trajectory, and if people are wilfully ignoring that, it just shows there are factors other than performance at play.

It sucks, but I also think what will be, will be and we should just enjoy Daniel racing. Like these three races obviously mean a lot to him - his 250th start, his birthday, his parents staying back in europe for all this and him having Jack around to document it all!

I think the one thing I'm holding dear is Daniel's comment that they overachieved in Austria. It's been so long that he's said something like that - it just shows he is finally performing at that level where he is satisfied with himself, that he's putting everything into it and it feels like a personal reward to himself

Also just saying that yeah, Daniel is caught up in the red bull power struggle, but that man is also cut from the old red bull cloth - he can play that political game in his sleep. So he's not an unfortunate collateral as much as we'd like to think.

[hulking-godless-child-beast]

here's another Splatoon theory that I don't even like

starting with a few questions:

what's the deal with [#14] crush?

why did dedf1sh make a Splattack remix?

what was Agent 3 doing during Octo Expansion?

We've been told somewhere, probably in some interview, that dedf1sh doesn't typically make music for others, but instead mostly only makes what they want to. From there it's easy to extrapolate that their music reflects their feelings, (or what was left of them post-sanitization) that they expressed themself through their compositions.

This paints a sad picture of their time in the underground, as most of their music from Octo Expansion has a tense and lonely feel to it. Which is why [#14] crush stands out so much. If you've forgotten which track that is, give it a listen:

It's goofy! It's chaotic and silly! If you didn't make Agent 8 hop around, flop, and spin to this track, you either didn't get far enough in Octo Expansion, or you're lying to yourself.

What gives?

The word "crush" can mean a lot of things, but this track doesn't exactly convey anything that sounds like being emotionally or physically crushed. It...sounds a lot more like the chaotic mix of emotions that comes with having a crush on someone. (this is where I need to apologize to Team Aromantic Acht. Love y'all, you guys do your thing and I'll do mine, cool?)

If I'm even in the ballpark of correct, that begs the question: on who?

There haven't been many characters we know about being in the underground, and even fewer who could potentially have encountered Kamabo's sanitized DJ. But if process of elimination isn't enough, there is a hint: as stated previously, Dedf1sh tends to only create their own compositions for their own interest, with few known exceptions. One of these exceptions is the Splattack! remix that plays during the Agent 3 boss fight. Again, it doesn't really match the style of the rest of their music from Octo Expansion, which suggests to me that they chose to remix that track specifically for someone who likes it, namely Agent 3.

Conclusion: Acht encountered Former Agent 3 during the time they were both underground, became as infatuated as a sanitized individual can be, and remixed 3's favorite song in an attempt to impress them.

(for my fellow Agent 24 shippers: I'm not necessarily saying that it worked. I'm saying that a sanitized Acht saw someone cool and made a couple banger tracks about it. Maybe at best Agent 3 appreciated and was intrigued by the gesture, especially coming from a sanitized octoling.)