#i think the name thing - referring to the bodies' names rather than the ppl in them - is a really interesting way to show his poor empathy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

visualjyushi · 1 year

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body mods list: mika + the oddballs edition!

* reference for my shu/mika-focused tattoo artist/piercer enstars au

i have terrible memory so this list is for my reference, but i figured i'd post it w/ some notes if anyone was interested in my thought processes <3 feel free to ask me abt any of them bc i am very (coughs) passionate abt body mods if it wasn't obvious. if ppl like this, i may make other posts for other characters that appear in the au.

Mika

he has 13 piercings and rei did most of them! shu has obviously done most of his tattoos but he has some done by the other members of the shop!

piercings: paired nostrils, septum, right eyebrow, navel, snake bites, tongue, two sets on his earlobes, and a secret 13th piercing (will be revealed at some point in the fic hehe)

note on paired nostrils: they were his first facial piercings! when he first got these done, he got an amber gem in one and a lapis in the other to help him feel better abt his eyes

note on snake bites: he always wears rings in his lip piercings bc studs feel weird in his mouth (me when I’m projecting)

butterfly tattoo on the left of his neck - done by leo!

butterfly on his abdomen; placed so his navel piercing looks like the body of the butterfly! - also done by leo!

tattoo over his top surgery scars: monster-like mouth with spiky teeth across his chest - bc he so would have a creepy tattoo, this was also his first tattoo by shu!

acanthe-inspired half sleeve of flowers on his right arm

shu’s flash designs sprinkled across his arms: winged votive monument, antique teddy bear, porcelain marionette doll

pink/purple gummy bear tattoo - by chiaki! in a blank spot on his arm in between shu's works

Shu

she has a lot of ear piercings! she was wataru’s first client when they were under their piercing apprenticeship and many of their first attempts at ear piercings were done on her! she also has many tattoos, almost completely covered in them, but she is careful abt preserving the life of them on her skin, usually always keeping them hidden from the sun.

20 piercings across both ears: 8 starting from her lobes up to her helix (cartilage) on each ear, a rook on both sides, daith on left side, and tragus on the right!

she also gets another piercing that is revealed later on in the fic...

sternum tattoo of roses - done by kuro!

mademoiselle tattoo on her upper right arm - bc I must always reference madonee somewhere in my aus hehe

big back piece of a biblically accurate angel - done by leo!

valkyrie (as in the figures in norse mythology!) piece on her left thigh - she tattooed this on herself! since shu is trans fem in this au, I thought it would be perfect for her to have a powerful feminine symbol tattooed on her, and what better choice than to also reference her unit name!

silly little minimalistic croissant on her inner right ankle - a tattoo she got when she was out drunk with the oddballs one night in her early 20s

two sleeves of ornamental designs that include hearts, flowers, and lacey details - this style of tattoo gives off a more feminine vibe due to its intricacy, which i felt was perfect for trans fem shu. the decorative style also reminds me of the architecture in old churches and museums so it felt very shu-like to me! also blends into a frame around her madonee tattoo

Rei

i wanted to give him some more intense mods, like *scarification, since he is one of the characters that has been in the industry the longest! and i think rei has a complicated relationship with gender in like a neurodivergent way, feeling very masc but more like a creature rather than a human (me wanting to keep the vampire thing he got going on in canon), so i wanted his mods to convey this! i also hc he's had many piercings in the past but he's retired a lot of them, so he doesn't have too many anymore.

*note: since this can look pretty gnarly when initially done, i do not recommend looking up images if ur squeamish! so quick crash course for those who don't know: it is basically the removal or branding of skin into a pattern or design. it's like the cousin of the tattoo! the skin is typically raised in these places once healed over, thus creating a scarred design on the body!

stretched labret - he has a 0 gauge black stone in the middle of his bottom lip!! (roughly the size of a dime)

stretched ears - decently big at about 1 inch or 25mm

also a couple helix piercings on both ears

little bat tattoo over his heart - meant to symbolize ritsu since he cares for his little bro so much!

both arms mostly covered up in black ink - cover up for some terrible tattoos he got/was forced to get when he was younger

dark lettering that wraps around the sides and front of his neck - a tattoo font that looks like intricate black ink line work at first glance but actually says "demon king"

tattoos outlining the skeleton of his hands

maybe some other tattoos but i haven't decided 100% yet

scarification: a cross on the right side of his face - bc rei's old hairstyle revealed this part of his face more, he wanted to get smth there, but now it often hides behind his bangs

split tongue - one of my personal faves for rei

Kanata

he hears a piercing being named after a seashell and is like "wataru i have to get that!!!" wataru also did his ear piercings while under their apprenticeship with rei :) bc of sensory issues, i hc kanata would not want a lot of piercings. since he's very laid back, i do think he's the type to get piercings/tattoos just bc he thinks they're cool!

basic lobe piercings and conch piercings on both ears - w/ jewelry that look like sea shells!!

tokusatsu themed tattoo sleeve on his left arm - chiaki did this sleeve!!

fish gill rib tattoos - similarly to rei, i think kanata doesn't Really see himself as completely human either due to a complicated view of his own gender!

marine life themed tattoo sleeve on his right arm - just several colorful fishies and other creatures he likes!

little chibi cthulhu on his ankle - by izumi!

big octopus tattoo on his left hip - wraps around his thigh and torso bc it's so large

Wataru

they love being symmetrical, so a lot of their piercings are in pairs! all in shiny white gold and/or blue-hued gems. rei also did a lot of their piercings which is how they met!! they're not as big on tattoos, bc they can't sit still for too long!!

piercings: angel bites, cheek piercings, surface anchors beside the eye on both sides (ref), basic lobe piercings, two helix piercings on each ear, navel, paired & centered eyebrow piercings

note on eyebrow piercings: i love the placement for these (i actually have these piercings) as they sort of resemble a clown look and wataru is my silly little clown!!

tattoo sleeve on left arm of flowers and doves - by shu ofc! and she complained every single time wataru moved even a single inch lol

Natsume

he likes meaningful piercings! i write him as trans masc in this fic, so most of them are gender affirming in some way. also put a lot of magic theming into his tattoos!

piercings: stretched septum, septril, navel, tongue, nipples, small stretched earlobes, industrial on left ear, helix piercing on right ear

note on stretched septum: usually only wears a plug in this one, so it's not noticeable from the outside! this piercing symbolizes his journey being on hrt bc he got his septum pierced the day he started hormones <3

note on septril piercing: his jewelry top is a pentagram (ref) since this one can look a little confusing, here's a great vid by a very knowledgeable piercer explaining how it works!

nipple piercings - i hc that hrt made natsume a lot more comfortable in his body, so he decided to pierce his nipples instead of get top surgery! we love trans ppl reclaiming their comfort in their bodies in this house

font tattoo that says "sweet magic" below his navel

crescent moon tattoo behind right ear & star tattoo behind his left

trail of black sparkles and lime green smoke twisting around his right arm - this tattoo goes all the way down to his hands and some of his fingers

death tarot card tattoo on upper right arm - shu did this one :) ! this is also symbolic of his transition!

love potion tattoo on lower right arm

cyber sigil heart tattoo on lower back - I guess this is what the style is called, it looks kinda y2k inspired. sorry, I really wanted natsume to have a tramp stamp leave me alone.

also cyber sigil heart tattoos framing his knees - probably his most painful tattoos!

#moon.txt #fic rambles #mika kagehira #shu itsuki #rei sakuma #wataru hibiki #kanata shinkai #natsume sakasaki #enstars

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mosnet · 2 years

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i think i could probably talk about the interrogation room scene with saito!boss forever. the way he uses the pronoun boku (more polite, humble, almost self-effacing in informal settings) instead of ore like i initially expected going in (more casual, self-confident, almost arrogant in formal settings). the way he calls date, 6 years older than him and senior in almost every single other aspect, date-kun (the honorific for your underclassmen at school and, more pertinently, your subordinates at work). the way he speaks more softly with boss's voice than boss does (all props go to yuko kaida for this). the way he refers to "stabbing shoko" (knowing renju is in her body) and "strangling renju to death" (knowing it's iris) and "drugging iris" (when his own father is in her body at the time). the way he seems to disregard the internal dynamics of switching bodies entirely unless it involves his own consciousness ("i was a parasite in the body of renju," "i didn't think ota had seen me," "by the time i was in the body of sou sejima..."), maybe because he doesn't care or maybe because it doesn't even occur to him. i'm mentally unwell about him

#ai the somnium files #saito sejima #aitsf spoilers #he gets like 2 hours of screen time in this 30 hour long game but i dont care im gonna psychoanalyze him #i think the name thing - referring to the bodies' names rather than the ppl in them - is a really interesting way to show his poor empathy #(disclaimer: saying this as someone with a disorder that causes low/no empathy. do not demonize ppl like me i just think hes neat)#veering into headcanon territory:#like a lot of non-empaths he's probably got what i call Hardwired Solipsism. the struggle to conceptualize ppl as the same as you in a #fundamental sense. as in with the same level of consciousness and awareness that you yourself have #he doesn't bother to use the real person in the body's name because he's not thinking about who's in what body #it doesn't really occur to him to even distinguish between all of them properly because hes not really processing them as individuals #but rather as means to an end (getting back to his old body)

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wonwoonlight · 3 years

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overgrown | xu minghao

➝ word count: 6.3k words

➝ florist!Minghao x demigod!reader

➝ demigod!au // florist!au // fluff // slice of life // angst if u squint // nonidol!au

➝ warning: not edited nor proofread kjsdfnjkdsngf, not fantasy au tho hoho

➝ A/N: happy birthday, hao! if you're wondering about how demigods are percieved in this universe, please refer to percy jackson and how the mist make ppl see things they dont wish to understand lol thats basically it. enjoy!!

moving from one place to another has always been easy, but perhaps it's about time you stay.

Being a descendant of Persephone is an experience itself. You have no idea how it happened, but that’s always the case with demigod children, so you don’t really care to understand either. What matters is you’re happy living with your dad in a small apartment downtown big enough just for the two of you.

You’ve just recently moved to Seoul with him; it’s probably only been three months at most and you’re still getting used to the new environment around you. You’re not exactly nomads, but you and him enjoy moving around from one place to another, learning about cultures around the world.

You spent your childhood mostly in Europe, or at least that’s what your dad said because you’re not old enough to remember details. But the first country that your consciousness manages to register is Japan because you lived there until you finished elementary school--the longest you’ve stayed in one country. But even then, you moved from one city to another at least three times throughout the years.

And then you spent junior high school in Singapore before eventually moving to the US once you’re sixteen. Before you came to South Korea, you spent a good four years in Australia for university.

And here you are now, only two months after graduating, already settled in yet another country.

“Are you going to go up again?” your dad asks as he sees you putting on your shoes.

“Yup, gotta take care of my children,” you grin at him.

He rolls his eyes at this, shaking his head in amusement. “As if you can’t grow them back right away if they withered.”

“You’re just jealous I have the power to do that,” you stick out your tongue at him. “And it’s different with planting them from seeds, you know!”

The sound of his laughter is cut off once you shut the door behind you, giddy steps making their way to the elevator almost immediately. One of the main reasons you’ve both chosen this particular complex is because they have a community garden on the rooftop; you’ve fallen in love with the sight of it in an instant the moment they show you the tidy garden that you’ll be free to access because, as far as the management knows, only so few cares about the community garden.

You cringe at the sun the moment you step into the rooftop, the brightness of it blinding your eyes. At least it’s not that hot considering how blinding it is.

“Oh, you poor thing,” you frown when you see a dying flower on one of the pots. You’ve noticed this particular flower since you began tending the garden; a peculiar purple flower that you’ve never seen before. But you quickly dispel any interest towards it because it obviously belongs to someone.

Its pot is beautifully decorated with paints and there’s a big X.M.H. written across the body. You didn’t touch it because you thought the owner must be taking care of it; much like how you don’t dare to tend the few other plants that have names written on the pot.

But this flower is obviously dying and you’ve always been bad at holding yourself back when you see plants about to wither. You wonder if it’s a trait that you inherit from Persephone along with your ability to grow flowers wherever you want. It’s a pretty useless power, if you think about it, and you didn’t even know Persephone has this ability to pass on (because isn’t it supposed to be Demeter’s specialty? Anyway, you’re still related to her one way or another and you’d rather just accept this unique ability than question it). Still, you’re happy with this power even though it doesn’t really help you in your daily lives.

You look around to make sure no one else is on the rooftop before you return to that particular flower; even though you’ve never seen this kind of flower before, you know for sure it hasn’t even bloomed to its best shape yet. Contemplating on what to do, you eventually decide to just go fuck it and resurrect the flower while there’s no one present.

Gently holding the pot with your palms, you focus on it until a soft green light emits around the flower; its stem slowly stands back in place and the vibrant color returns like it wasn’t pitifully dying on its own pot before. You don’t even notice it looks more alive than when you first saw it the day you moved into this place.

You exhale a deep breath after you’re done, the green light long gone after the process is done.

Nothing bad should come out of it… right?

Due to a training workshop you have to attend for your new job, you’ve asked your dad to tend your flowers while you go to Incheon for three days. You would’ve gone back and forth instead of sleeping over in a guest house if you could, but Incheon is way too far and training literally starts at seven thirty for each day.

Why couldn't Persephone just give you the gift of teleportation, really? But, then again, even Hermes’ children don’t have that kind of ability so you can’t really blame her for not blessing you with that.

Anyhow, now that you’re back in Seoul, the first thing you do after washing up is to go up the rooftop to see your children. You honestly doubt your dad actually does as you ask, and you simply hope you don’t have to use your power on them just in the worst case scenario that they all somehow die in the span of three days.

When you open the door, you find someone else busily moving through the garden instead of chilling on the benches for once. You blink at the sight of the lean, tall man, but quickly shrug to yourself and make your way to do your usual round.

You’re just minding your own business as you fill in your water spray on the sink nearby when someone carefully taps your shoulder. You’re not sure why you’re not surprised it’s the same man from earlier.

“Yes?” you smile politely at him.

“Hi,” he greets you with a hesitant smile. “Have you… been tending the garden these days?”

“Oh, right!” you exclaim before you put down the water spray and introduce yourself to him. “I’ve just moved in recently and, yes, I’ve been tending the garden since. I don’t touch plantings that have names on them though!”

The guy nods as he lets out a small ‘ah’ and then takes your hand to shake. “I’m Xu Minghao. You can call me Minghao though. I… usually tend them too, so it’s a surprise to see them so tidy after I’m away.”

You blink at the name. Oh. Xu Minghao. He’s the owner of that flower, isn’t he?

“Um, can I ask you something?” he asks again, his tall posture suddenly making you nervous from your awareness.

“Yeah, sure,” you fake a smile as you turn back to fill your water spray.

“Do you know that purple flower with my initials on the pot?” he shoots straight to it, and you’re glad your back is turned to him because else, he’d see how you close your eyes in contempt.

You hum as you pretend to think about the flower he’s referring to. But Minghao is not easily swayed and he tells you to follow him to see the flower yourself.

Your eyes widen in horror as you see the flower buds opening widely, a shape that you’re sure shouldn’t take place just yet because it hasn’t even been a week since you resurrect it. Did you accidentally grow it more than you should? This is why you should practice, really.

“Has… this been looking like this?” he brings you back to reality, his face confused and somewhat concerned. “I’ve just gone back from my hometown so I haven’t been here for three months and… I don’t think it… should be growing this fast? The buds were only half open when I left.”

“I’m… not sure,” you lie lamely, praying this Minghao guy would brush it off as you being awkward in front of a stranger. “Did you ask anyone to tend it for you? Maybe they give your flower a different fertilizer?”

Minghao shakes his head firmly, arms crossing in front of his chest. “No. I was actually wondering if this particular plant can withhold for months without any fertilizer. I did ask someone to water just once every three days and I told them not to give any kind of fertilizer.”

Oh shit, shit, shit. The one time you decide to mess around helping flowers, it just has to be in this kind of scenario with someone so observant.

“So, uhh, were you expecting it to die or…?” you ask again as you try to act like this has nothing to do with you.

“Wasn’t expecting anything in particular, really,” he sighs, observing you while wondering about the reason behind your fidgeting. Are you just nervous because you don’t know him? Or are you hiding something? “I was just experimenting. My friend tried to grow this flower by crossbreeding two different plants, he’s pretty much done with it so I asked if I can take it with me.”

You nod at the surge of information, unsure why he’s loading this to you. “Have you… always been interested in flowers?”

“I do have a flower shop, if that’s what you’re asking,” he chuckles at your amazed expression. “You should drop by sometimes. You look like you’d appreciate my flowers.”

“Sure,” you happily accept the invitation, lowkey excited to find someone who shares this interest towards plants despite your nervousness from earlier. “Not easy to find someone else that cares about plants other than myself.”

Minghao chuckles again as he agrees with you, and then gives you his business card so you can visit him sometime.

“Maybe my friend did something during the crossbreeding process,” he continues, still looking at the flower curiously.

“You should go ask your friend,” you reply a little too quickly, making Minghao turn to you as his eyes observe you with something that you can’t quite decipher. You’re not sure if the sudden rush in your heartbeat is because you’re scared he’ll somehow figure out what you’re hiding, or you’re simply nervous because his gaze seems to be fixated on you.

Xu Minghao is pretty pleasing to the eyes, if you may say it yourself, and pretty people always intimidate you. Not that you mind him though.

“Yeah, I should,” he quietly replies, wondering if he’s simply imagined the edge on your voice.

The next time you see Minghao, it’s only been a few days since then and it’s a complete accident even though it’s you who step into his shop yourself.

“Oh?” you blink at the familiar person behind the station. “Hi?”

Minghao looks up from the flower arrangement in his hands, not hearing the door opens and closes because he’s too focused on the task. “Hi?”

“Didn’t know this was your shop,” you smile a little as your eyes wander around the flower shop. It’s a pretty humble place, though it’s quite big for a shop run by (presumably) Minghao himself. You don’t see any other person in sight, but there are two closed doors you can see from where you’re at and who knows if there are other people there.

“Threw away my business card, did you?” he smiles playfully, walking around his table to walk closer to you.

“Nah, just have a very bad navigation skill,” you grin, telling him you’d have no idea where his store is even if you turn on your GPS. “And it’s only been a few days, wouldn’t it be weird if I immediately come here?”

“Why would it be weird?” he frowns a little, though his smile doesn’t falter. “I did invite you here.”

You simply shrug at that, telling him it just would feel so as your feet take you to explore.

Minghao lets the silence linger after that, observing the way you fit so well between the shelves of his flowers. He’s probably imagining it, but it almost feels like the flowers are closing in everytime you pass by, welcoming you like you’re one of their own.

It’s beautiful. And it’s weird--because as much as he loves his flower shop, he never thinks he’d see a scene so beautiful in this sense. He’s an artistic person and it’s both too often and rare that he deems something beautiful. He has a particular standard that he himself isn’t even sure of. But this? The sight of you walking around his flower shop, fingertips gently touching the soft buds of his flowers while you smile and curiously look at each and every one of them?

He can’t be more certain that it’s beautiful.

“When did you open this shop?” your voice jumps him back to reality, though he’s glad that you don’t seem like you notice he’s been staring at you.

“Just last year,” he nods to himself, the happiness of finally opening his own flower shop still clear in his mind.

“Do you manage this by yourself?” you ask again, more interested than you thought you were.

The guy hums at this, his gaze automatically follows you when you step to the buds section. “I have two part-timers. Don’t really need a full time helper just yet.”

He thinks he hears you say something about how lucky he is, but he doesn’t get any chance to reply yet when you ask him about the ‘baby flowers’--your words not his--section.

Minghao steps closer to you, telling you it’s there for him to grow if no one buys them.

“Mostly, people come here to buy bouquets. But I thought there’d be no loss in putting them there just in case there are people who want to grow their own flowers,” he smiles, more to himself than to you.

You can’t help the warm feeling that envelopes you; you’ve always had a soft spot for people who appreciate flowers. Maybe it’s the few things Persephone gifts you, maybe it comes with your power--anyhow, someone who seems to love them as much as you do is hard to come by, and Minghao is easily the first person who shares the amount of love you have for these little beings.

“What flowers are these?” you lean down to look at closed buds.

“It’s a surprise,” he shrugs. “Even I don’t remember which seeds I put inside the soils even though we should have an idea by the time it grows a little more. I want these people to appreciate flowers as they are, you know?”

“That’s weirdly philosophic,” you chuckle a little, taking one of the pots in your hands. Minghao laughs at that, turning back to his table because his phone is ringing.

Your eyes widen in shock as the light starts to emit around the buds, so you quickly put it back down where it belongs before you shove your palms to the pocket of your jeans. Thankfully, whoever’s at the phone is holding Minghao back just enough until the light fades away before he’s back on your side.

If he notices your sudden tense posture, he doesn’t say anything. But, by the way he’s frowning and the slight ‘hm?’, you’re sure he notices something different in one of the buds in front of him, so you quickly say you just remembered you have somewhere to be and it’s been a pleasure coming here.

“I’ll drop by again some time. See you around!” You hurriedly say with a smile and a wave of your hand. Minghao doesn’t even get the chance to wave back because you’re already out of the door.

He drops his hand back to his side, looking at the curious bud that’s weirdly more grown than the others. He’s pretty sure he puts them all at the same time, so how come it’s the only one with its buds half open?

It’s been some time since you get close to someone as easily as you do with Minghao. You’re pretty sure that your shared interest in plants makes up 70% of your conversation, but it’s still enough for you to consider Minghao a good friend now, and you usually either talk to him on the rooftop, or in his flower shop as you drop by after work.

Plus, he’s pretty easy in the eyes and seeing him after a long day at work definitely helps.

Today’s quite tiring though, because your meeting drags on to the point where you miss your usual bus and you have to wait for half an hour until the next one comes again.

You figure you should just go home and rest, because tomorrow you have to get to the office early and you can’t afford another sleepless night when you’re this burnt. But still, when you pass by Minghao’s shop only to see lights still on, you can’t help but knock and come in.

It’s almost six thirty now, doesn’t he usually close by five?

“Why are you still here?” you ask as you step into the store, greeting Chan and Chaeyoung, his part-timers, who are still struggling with the flowers on the floor. “It’s already dark outside.”

“Wedding later at 9,” he simply replies with a sigh. “We’ve just started an hour ago and we could’ve finished this by seven but... there’s a problem and we’re… still trying to figure it out.”

“What problems?”

“The bride wants white and pink roses only, everything rationed 1:1. But, turns out, some of our white roses aren’t as white as she wants and she insists that we somehow have to make it works and… well, we even tried ordering white roses from another vendor but some of them still aren’t as white when compared to the one she...approved of,” he rubs his temple, obviously frustrated.

You bite down your lip as you see them and the pile of flowers surrounding them. They would probably need to work for an hour or two more at this point, and it’s all just because of this one annoying client.

This is a problem that you can easily fix, you think as you contemplate on what to do. How can you convince these guys that you have a way to help them without them being suspicious?

“Have you guys eaten?” you ask instead. At Chan’s groan, you immediately tell them they should take a small break and rest while they’re at it.

“We can’t,” Chaeyoung sighs tiredly. “I’d be too anxious to take a break too. We have to send this before eight.”

“All because we’re missing 17 white roses,” Chan adds, cracking his neck from side to side.

“I can help,” you finally say, feeling bad at how tired they all sound. Minghao and the others turn to you, and you gulp hardly before you tell them you have a friend who would probably be able to help, but that you need to borrow one of the roses just to make sure the color won’t be wrong too.

Chan asks if your friend is far, because it’ll be no use if it’ll take long for the flower to arrive. What more lies can you sprout in this case, really?

“Just… trust me?” you try to negotiate. Chan and Chaeyoung seem too tired to argue anyway, but Minghao’s curious eyes piercing through yours isn’t something that you know how to handle. Still, despite the way your ears are getting red from his gaze, you do your best to hold his gaze. For once you can actually use your power to help someone in need and you can’t even do it openly.

Talk about useful.

“Okay,” Minghao finally says. “Should I come with you?”

“No!” you answer too quickly. “You should continue and take a little break. I promise I’ll come back with your roses.”

Minghao doesn’t seem like he wants to agree, but he nods anyway and simply tells you to be careful on your way before he thanks you in advance. He’s a little doubtful, truly unsure how you can help with this. But you look so certain, and he knows you enough to know that you’re not the type to say things without meaning to.

And true to your words, not fifteen minutes later, you’ve come back with the exact white shade of roses that he needs. Chan hugs you in relief and Chaeyoug actually peppers you with kisses because you’ve apparently saved them from hell. You simply chuckle at that, though your eyes avoid his when he steps closer to thank you again.

“Eh, consider it your lucky day,” you scrunch your nose at him, telling him your friend has a bunch of them in his place. He wonders if he’s imagining the edge on your voice when he asks if your friend’s nearby because he doesn’t recall any other flower shop that would allow you to be back in less than fifteen minutes.

“Oh, umm… It’s not a flower shop,” you fidget from one foot to another. “He just grows them in his garden.”

“And he just lets you… take them?”

“I owe him a big favour of course. But it’s okay,” you laugh awkwardly. “He’s a very good friend and he understands.”

Minghao hums at this, a sound that makes you more nervous, if anything. He takes one of the flowers in his hand, observing them carefully as he wonders why these flowers feel different than any flower he’s seen. It does feel familiar though he can’t really tell either. Perhaps he’s just imagining things.

Simply said, it just doesn’t make sense to Minghao; none of these are. Anyone who might have grown this many roses wouldn’t give them so willingly unless the person is just that close to you, or they don’t grow them themselves and have no attachment whatsoever with the flowers.

Still, he’s in a hurry and he doesn’t have the time to ponder this just yet. So he simply squeezes your shoulder and thanks you once more then goes back to work. With your flowers, he should be able to finish this in 30 minutes or so and he’s going to do just that.

Almost exactly 30 minutes later, the guys actually finish the order on time. Chan and Chaeyoung quickly hop into the van with the flowers to go to the venue, giddy about the prospect of finishing this one hell of a job (though it’s only prompted by the client, to be honest). At least they just need to deliver this, it’s the wedding organizer’s job to place them accordingly.

So Minghao tells Chan to just bring the van home if he wants to, that he’ll close up for the day and the younger guy can just bring it back tomorrow. Chan happily agrees with the arrangement, then waves goodbye at you both before he takes off with Chaeyoung.

“I’ll help you close up,” you offer, not even waiting for his answer. Funny though, weren’t you tired from work? And now here you are, offering yourself for more work.

“It’s fine,” Minghao says once he catches up with you, gently circling his fingers around your wrist to stop you from cleaning up the table. “You must be tired from work and you’ve helped enough. If you want to help, just sit down and order food for me? Unless you’re going back home to eat with your dad.”

“Dad is out with his friends,” you tell him as you take out your phone. “I’d rather eat with you than by myself back home.”

The guy chuckles at this, the soft sound that you’re already used to and one that always manages to lift the corner of your lips. You don’t think anyone has ever had this effect on you before. But it’s Xu Minghao and you’ve learned that this guy is special in any possible way.

“What do you feel like eating?” you ask as you scroll through the delivery app. After contemplating for ten minutes, you eventually decide to just order from this Chinese takeout that Minghao often eats at.

“It’s pretty authentic,” he comments, telling you he orders from them every time he misses his hometown.

You nod as you listen to him talk about his hometown, how he moves to South Korea and why. So you tell him too about your story; the time you spend moving here and there, how it’s fun and it makes you all the more appreciative to the culture around you, but still a little lonely because you keep on changing friends and surroundings.

You can tell that Minghao is curious about your mom though he doesn’t say anything about it, but you can only hope that he has enough sense not to mention her--at least not now. You usually just say your mom has left a long time ago, which isn’t that far from reality if you think about it, but there’s something about Minghao that makes you feel like you don’t want to lie to him. Maybe it’s his scrutinizing eyes, maybe you’re just into him more than you think you are, but whatever it is, there’s this urge to always be honest with Minghao no matter what.

You throw your weight back to the wheeled chair on the back of the cashier, swaying yourself from side to side as Minghao tells you to wait here because he needs to do something in the back.

Now that everything’s practically done and you finally have the time to stop and unwind, you can feel the exhaustion settling inside your body. It has been a long day after all, but the thought of using your power to help someone--Minghao, on top of that--got you a little too giddy that you forgot about how tired you were even for a while. Plus, it’s been some time since you grow this many flowers at once that you’re exerting more energy than you usually would.

Oh well. You’re just happy you’re finally able to help someone with your power.

You glance at the potted plant next to the cashier machine, probably there for aesthetic reasons. It’s just a small, potted white orchid with pink accents adorning the flowers. You’re just about to reach out for it, your fingertips barely even touching it, when it’s suddenly surrounded by a soft pink glow.

You quickly sit up in panic, praying to everything out there that Minghao wouldn’t return now and--

“Hey, has the food arr--was the flower...glowing?” he blinks mid sentence, wondering if he sees wrong. He’s pretty sure he saw pink-ish light surrounding his orchid for a split second before it’s gone just like that. Is he more tired than he thinks he is?

Minghao isn’t sure what to make of your panicked look, but he’s even more confused with the way you look like you’ve been caught doing something you shouldn’t.

Fortunately for you, someone knocks on the glass door, announcing that the food you’ve ordered is here. Before you can offer, Minghao already goes to take the food, leaving you there to take a deep breath.

You’re so screwed, what do you even tell him?! Maybe you should try to convince him he’s seeing things even though the chance is pretty low. Xu Minghao is one of the most observant people you’ve ever seen in your life after all.

“Do you want to eat here or?” He asks, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“I don’t mind anywhere,” you shrug. So Minghao quietly drags another chair and sits across you, waiting for you to finish taking the containers out of the plastic bag.

He wonders if he should bring up the pink light from earlier, but the grumbling of his stomach tells him he should eat first and do it later.

“Oh!” You exclaim after your first bite, turning to Minghao. “This is very good? I don’t even usually like vegetables?”

Minghao laughs at your expression, something fond growing inside his chest as you keep on humming appreciatively everytime you take a bite. So far, a relationship has never been his priority, and it’s still not--but there are times when he’s started to wonder how it’ll be like to be involved romantically with you.

He’s lying if he says he considers you nothing but a friend; he doesn’t think about his friends like he does you, doesn’t smile at the thought of his friends right before he goes to bed, and he definitely doesn’t silently wish his friend would appear behind the closed rooftop door of his apartment when the day has been long and he wishes to unwind.

“What?” your voice brings him back to reality, and he calmly raises his eyebrow as if he hasn’t been boring holes into you.

“Nothing,” he says nonchalantly. “Just been some time since I eat dinner with someone else.”

“You don’t go out with your friends for dinner?” you ask, genuinely curious.

He nods, telling you his close friend works at the bar so it’s hard to find time to eat dinner together unless he goes there himself.

“You can join me and Dad some time,�� you offer. “Dad always cooks so much so we end up eating the same thing for dinner and breakfast. Or maybe we can go try this restaurant in Hongdae next time, my coworker says it’s really pretty and it has an art studio at the back.”

Minghao holds back the urge to ask if you’re asking him on a date and settles for a smile and a nod, still not sure if you return the sentiments he's holding for you. As far as he knows, you just might be this warm and friendly to everyone you’re comfortable with. He cringes at how the thought stings a bit.

“This orchid is really pretty you know,” you say again, looking at the potted flower as if it didn’t freak you out just earlier. “How did you grow it this well? Aren’t orchids hard to take care of?”

He frowns and follows your line of sight, and then leans forward to take a careful look at the flower in surprise.

Minghao looks at it with a puzzled face, blinking continuously before he reaches forward to gently touch the flower buds. He doesn’t even answer when you ask if he’s okay, simply draws back his finger in surprise once it touches the orchid in question.

“Hao…?”

“Can you… touch it? And tell me how it feels?”

You comply, albeit confused at the request. “Okay…? It’s soft…?”

“It’s not stiff?”

“No…? Are they supposed to be stiff?”

His voice, purely laced with confusion, calls out your name, looking at you with a mix of bewilderment and pleasant surprise. “They’re supposed to be plastic.”

At the revelation, you stare at him in horror. That’s why it glowed pink. You had never encountered pink lights before; you know green appears when you resurrect or help plants grow, blue is for guarding fruits from insects, and yellow is to make sure the soil and the roots stay hydrated even if no one waters it. You don’t really like using your power unless you really need to, because there’s a different kind of satisfaction when you manage to grow them on your own without the help of, in a way, Persephone.

But pink? Even you thought you saw wrong.

In shock, you reach forward to touch the flower once more, only to have it glow green and rise a few centimeters from its original place.

You share a shocked look with Minghao, though he can tell there’s more than shock behind your eyes.

“I… um--I…” you stutter, feeling the need to defend yourself before Minghao gets the wrong idea.

No one but your dad knows about your power, not even Chaerin who you consider your closest friend. Once, you accidentally grew flowers in the playground in front of the other kids; you were only five and your power had only started to show. You can still remember the look of terror in their eyes, one of them cried so loud that their parents came to see what happened. They were unsure why the kid would cry when all she mentioned was you and flowers. Still, they figured you must’ve done something to the kid if she wouldn’t stop crying. You stopped coming to the playground shortly after that.

And then another case happened somewhere during junior high school. You had just gotten close to this girl and she told you about how much she wanted to see cherry blossom but couldn’t afford to go to Japan just to see them. So you thought you might as well make it happen, but when you gave her a cherry blossom bonsai that you made yourself, she told you you’re a fraud and there’s no way this could grow in a tropical country.

You figure your dad was right when he said not everyone would understand about your power even though flowers are harmless. Humans have the tendency to refuse to understand things that don’t make sense like your power.

Minghao looks around in surprise as he sees all of his flowers rowdily glowing different shades of lights. He doesn’t know for sure what on earth is happening, but if the fear in your eyes and some other things that have happened in your presence tell him anything, his flowers are probably resonating with the sudden wave of your emotion. You don’t seem to notice this though, fearful eyes only focused on him.

“Hey, it’s fine,” he says despite the loud ringing of his heartbeat. He slowly reaches for your hands, telling you to inhale and exhale at his cue to help you calm down. This seems to help, as the flowers have stopped glowing and the slight tremor in your hands has calmed too. “It’s fine, okay?”

You nod at this, hardly gulping as you ready yourself for what’s to come.

Minghao seems to notice this though, and then slowly stands up to kneel next to you, his long legs allowing him to still look at you comfortably.

“I promise you don’t need to be afraid,” he gently says as he takes your hands back in his, his soft tone soothing your heartbeat. “You don’t need to explain anything to me, but I’ll listen to anything you want to say, okay?”

You nod again before you squeeze his hands for comfort. You take a few more minutes to completely calm down, the warmth radiating from Minghao’s palms helping you in ways you don’t think possible. There’s a soft, patient smile on his face when you finally look back at him and tell him to take the seat next to you before you start explaining. So he does exactly that and doesn’t miss a second to hold your hands yet again once he’s settled next to you.

In a world this big, Minghao has always thought anything is possible. He doesn’t want to say he doesn’t believe in this and that, because who does he think he is to judge the existence of one thing and the other?

Still, it’s a lot to take in that a descendant of Persephone is in front of his very eyes. You even make a little daffodil appear out of nowhere on your palm, as if to prove you’re not messing around. He knows you’re not though, not because of your little showcase, but because the pure fear in your eyes can’t lie.

“It’s… freaky, right?” you laugh bitterly, looking down on the daffodil on your palm.

“I think you mean to say beautiful,” he says after a beat, not wanting to say the wrong thing. “You’re lucky to have the power to help these creatures grow, you know? They’re not like us humans, or even animals, that can defend themselves when it comes to it. You must be really special to be able to help them grow and protect them with your power.”

You look up in surprise at his words, and Minghao can’t help but smile wider in hope it’ll bring you comfort and convince you that he’s not just saying things.

“You know how much I love them, right? And I want you to know how envious I am of your gift,” he continues good-naturedly, telling you how he wishes he could’ve helped these plants like you can. “Like the way you helped my withered flower grow back, remember? You did that, didn’t you? I should thank you, really, you help me see what’s possibly the most beautiful flower I’ve ever seen in my life. My friend said he didn’t even know that flower could grow into that shape.”

“You’re not… afraid of me?” your small voice rings through the empty shop and his heart stings at how afraid you still sound even though he has never let go of your hands once.

“Why would I be?” he reassures you. “I just told you I’m envious of you, silly.”

You bite your lip at his words, unsure how to take this reaction. After hiding this for so long, you had never thought there would be anyone who understands--who will be holding your hands after seeing what happened earlier. But you’re not exactly surprised that Minghao will be the person to do this. If there’s anyone who would be willing to try to understand the unthinkable, it’s Xu Minghao. He doesn’t judge. He just listens and he accepts.

You squeeze his hands in gratitude, unable to say the words out loud at how overwhelming the whole thing is for you. Minghao seems to get it, though, as he always does. And when he takes one of your hands to drop a soft kiss on your knuckle, you know for sure that’s his way of telling you this is just the beginning of everything and more.

very unimportant A/N: at some point i was so fascinated with ancient greek myth and i was basically obsessed w Persephone and I actually covered Circe for my thesis hoho

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wolfes · 3 years

Text

a gifmaker's guide to captioning their sets

this guide refers to captions as in the accessible kind of captions (plain text), not hardcoded into the gif; if you, like me, have been hoodwinked, bamboozled, and led astray by tumblr's nifty little so-called “caption” function (the three dots that appear under photos you put into the editor), this guide is for you.

also helpful to all gifmakers interested in accessibility. even if you have no idea what i’m talking about i highly encourage you to give this guide a read to help make your sets more accessible to people in general.

i won’t be going over other media types; this is a guide i developed through my own research for gifmakers like me. it goes without saying i might not have all the info so feel free to reply with any additions you have.

more under the cut. tl;dr at the end.

1. basics

first things first, what’s a caption, and why do we use them?

what i call a caption is also commonly referred to as an image id or an image description. they’re text blocks under an image that describe what an image looks like, primarily for the visually impaired.

they’re useful for people who can’t see your images and might use screen readers. this is where alt text comes in; this is text that you put in your image that is invisible to those without screen readers but can be read by a screen reading program.

it’s a good practice to caption ur stuff bc the visually impaired do watch movies/tv and they deserve to enjoy our creations! not saying you gotta do it for everything but captioning your creations is a good start bc you're responsible for what u put out at the end of the day. it’s a rlly good way to make this site more accessible. you can’t control if other ppl caption or not but you can control if you do!

if you’re like me you might have been using something on tumblr’s old text editor (because the beta editor is dogshit) that looks like this:

[caption: a black text box under a photo that says “caption this photo.” end caption.]

if you are under the impression that this thing is alt text, it is not. i have no clue why this function exists other than to hoodwink you into believing it is alt text, except your “alt text” won’t appear anywhere but the tumblr desktop if you click on an image.

alt text only truly exists in tumblr’s new editor, but that editor will make your gifset look like dogshit on any desktop theme other than the basic tumblr one.

so now the only good way to caption your gifset is below the photos themselves, in the text box where you’d normally put information like the movie/show name or insp. or something.

this is not alt text, it’s visible to everyone, so you might want to keep it concise so a) the people using the description aren’t bogged down in a very long paragraph full of details that distract from the main point and b) so the people not using the description don’t have to scroll past a large body of text.

i personally like to do it like this:

[accessibility caption]

show/movie name

director/episode/etc info. basically ur normal caption under the accessibility caption - that way it’s easy to tell the description for the gifs is directly under them.

2. what to write

i said this before but i think with gifs at least, being concise and getting to the main point is important. since we have multiple gifs in a set a lot of the time, it's easy to get really bogged down in the details.

it helps to just describe the actions going on in a gif, over the surroundings. for example, with this gif, i'm going to focus on what ted's doing rather than the details of where he is and what he looks like:

[Caption: Ted is beatboxing. End caption.]

instead of [Caption: Ted is beatboxing in a blue locker room. He is a white man with brown hair and a brown mustache. He is wearing a black sweater on top of a blue shirt. End caption.]

that second one is more descriptive, sure, but when it's combined with a bunch of other gifs, it becomes too much and you end up with a long paragraph where what Ted looks like and his surroundings and his clothing overshadow what he's doing.

of course, if you only have one gif, you can go ahead and be descriptive like that. but most of us are using multiple gifs, and if you have a lot of descriptions like that second one, you're gonna end up with a very long block of text that is going to be tedious to get through for everyone.

for example, this is my caption for this gifset in all:

[Caption: A gifset of Ted Lasso. Two scenes are paralleled. Scene 1: Ted beatboxes in front of Keeley, who says, “I never know how to react when a grown man beatboxes in front of me.” Scene 2: Ted does the Carlton dance in front of Roy, who says, “I never know how to react when a grown man does the Carlton in front of me.” End caption.]

all together now, those descriptions (which i combined together to make it flow better) have formed a good sized paragraph. if i had included descriptions of Keeley and Roy and the rooms they were in, that paragraph would easily become super long. it becomes easy for the person reading the description to lose track of what's happening.

that's why it's easiest to use a shorter description. i've seen 8-gif aesthetic sets just described as "8 gifs of this character from this show," and that's honestly more helpful than nothing! the point of those types of sets is just to showcase the character so that's really all you need.

plus, that's less work for you to do as well. you don't need to sit there writing blocks of text, just a short description of what you giffed will do :)

3. tl;dr

write your captions in plain text where you'd write your show/movie title and other info. keep it short. and try to caption ur gif creations if u can't do it for everything.

it also helps to have an undescribed tag. i just made mine and updated it with a tag editor so it's on all my posts now.

ty for reading and happy describing :)

#v.txt #tutorial #i guess 😭#edit help #c #im not gonna tag any more bc who knows what this site will do to my posts

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trans-rights-peeps · 4 years

Note

Why are you so angry people don't want to date trans ppl? Like. This literally all came out of people being harassed to the breaking point by trans ppl demanding they say they're attracted to them, which, tbh, is not very attractive behavior. Super straight and super gay etc etc are people trying to set boundaries in a way y'all will understand. It's not hate to not want to date someone and if y'all can't understand that maybe it's because you've never experienced actual oppression? Something to think about.

>This literally all came out of people being harassed Actually, believe it or not, it had originiated with far-right (anti-trans) trolls on 4Chan to get you to associate with Nazism. It was then that the whole situation started blowing up when a TikTok user by the name of Kyle Royce made a video claiming to be the founder of the Super Straight community. The whole thing was based on transphobia and antisemitism; Not because people were supposedly ‘harassing others to date eachother’. Please check your resources next time. What you are stating would be an example of what you would call a “straw man argument”. The technique often takes quotes out of context or, more often, incorrectly paraphrases or summarizes an opponent's position. Then after "defeating" the position, the attacker claims to have beaten the real thing. >It's not hate to not want to date someone Of course it’s not hateful to not want to date someone. But to exclude someone’s existence and/or identity from a “sexuality” is not preference, that is discrimination and exclusion. Preference in gender (in your case, specifically) would be whether or not that person has biological female genitalia, or biological male genitalia. Gender and sex are two different concepts. Sex is what you are born with, or what is on your body, and/or your reproductive organs. Gender is one’s identity. This would be in reference to social and cultural differences rather than biological ones. The term is also used more broadly to denote a range of identities that do not correspond to established ideas of male and female. Most people transition from their biological sex to the other sex so that it matches their gender identity. So to seperate trangender humans from cisgender humans regardless of their genitalia (transitioned or not) or how they specifically identify, you are claiming that trans women aren’t real women, and that trans men aren’t real men. And that is the basics of transphobia. Transphobia is a collection of ideas and phenomena that encompass a range of negative attitudes, feelings or actions towards transgender people or transness in general. Transphobia can include fear, aversion, hatred, violence, anger, or discomfort felt or expressed towards people who do not conform to social gender expectations. >maybe it's because you've never experienced actual oppression? You have no place to tell us whether or not we (as queer individuals) have or haven’t experienced opression. I personally (as one of the admins) do not owe you an explanation, or my stories regarding direct and indirect oppression regarding homophobia and transphobia, with the occurances that I’ve experienced in my life. That was an completely ignorant statement for you to even 1. think in the first place, 2. to have the audacity to write this out word for word. Your priviledge is really showing through regarding how you do not realize what social/physical/economic advantages you would have being heterosexual and/or cisgender. Thank you for your time and patience if you considerately chose to read this out; It may not change anything but I hope to spread something inheritly far more greater than what you are spreading yourself. -😼

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seoafin · 4 years

Note

tbh,, i havent read the raws of the interview yet, only the translated ver from fan-translator and b4 i start, i think that this will be just me talking in circle and in no particular order AND a real mess (my brain does weird things after exams) but uhh here we go

gojou collects talented people, and by doing so he finds the people he can most probably relate to, except that he can't, not really, because something in the universe shifted when he was born. and it makes me think of how he's always known it, that he is special, and he's proven it, time and time again— he wants to take in talented ppl and he does, but there rly isn't much he can do for them. for they are talented, more talented than the world can understand,,

but they aren't gojou satoru

gojou took in megumi, bc he knew megumi was strong, and would grow up to be someone even stronger, but gojou can't facilitate or encourage his growth, bc for all they're similar, they are so fundamentally different. ALSO,, while geto was in his life, gojou rly judged everything according to his understanding of geto’s moral compass. gojou wears a human suit and geto is how he learnt to wear it well 🏃

the dragonfly analogy regarding to geto’s response to gojo, who was shown wearing a dragonfly patterned yukata in HI arc,, i’m trying to not think abt the fact that dragonfly symbolized victory in jpn....pain. i quoted from a web here for more explanation : In Japan the dragonfly is known as the "victory insect", or kachimushi, because of its hunting prowess and also because it is known to never retreat. Dragonflies are agile and fast fliers and can even hover, but never fly backwards

and bringing this up again, matricide and patricide are 2 of the 5 worst act to commit in buddhism, and it was said that if u commit one of those act u’re going to spend a real long time in the deepest pit of hell before continuing the samsaric cycle (higher chances to be born as an animal after that probs)— this might be geto’s divine retribution. held no power over his own body and could be considered that he’s the same as those “monkeys” 💀

ALSO the fact that sukuna's interest is "eating" rly drives home his hedonistic philosophy of seeking pleasure for himself. and he’s a cannibal...makes me think if he’ll just chomp on ppl with the mouth on his stomach

randomly, to date i think he hasn't really called himself a human, shaman, or a curse, and has held himself apart from all 3, and we've also the intro of the cursed wombs so i wonder if he’s trying to become, or is, a different entity altogether

so onmyoji got mentioned in the interview and what they practice is called onmyodo and abe no seimei and kano no yasunori were the notable practitioners,, and the kamo in jjk is the same as irl who served the imperial court back then

maybe i was right when i said that the relation between the govt. and jujutsu elders are similar to how the shogunate and imperial court work (ie, the former holds the actual power) but... lets see later,,

and i cant believe that i actually nailed it on the analogy of jujutsu practices by religion,,, so mahayana buddhism, shintoism, and taoism is present in jjk along with their respective jujutsu practices...but between the 3, it shld (?) be taoism > shintoism > mahayana buddhism (which could took a path to pure land buddhism)

it’s weird that the number of curses are supposedly higher in jpn comparable to other countries when taoism was brought from china....tengen sus

so the zenin family tree is sth like :

brothers: [toji's dad] ; naobito ; ougi

so toji, naoya, and maki & mai are cousins of the same generation

[toji's dad] → jinichi (probs) ; toji → megumi

naobito → other brothers, naoya

ougi → maki, mai

but yea i’d call anyone who’s within/close or below my age range as cousins and others above 30 as uncles/ aunts LMFAO,, i dont rly memorize my own family tree 😭😭 especially since most call the other by honorifics instead of names : aunt, uncles etc or attaching said honorifics at the end of a name for an older sibling figure/ older cousins [but like ppl in my country also call the other who are older with sibling honorific even if we’re strangers,,, rly similar to korea’s hyung/oppa—eonnie(unnie)/noona but some uses more genderless honorific] (1)

tw // topic of incest, mentions of abuse

if anyone got the wrong idea when reading this : i am not glorifying/ romanticising incest(uous themes),, i’m looking at this with absolutely no lenses of bias even tho im rly against it

初恋 = literally : first love, or puppy love

恋 = romantic love/ deep longing

i literally don't know how else to put this...🧍and with language barrier...using a western interpretation of the eng word "love" to explain a jpnese term is not quite that simple, unfortunately

that thread omg,, i rly do understand how exactly someone could associated kindness with love bc of my upbringing, it was when i was slightly older that i was just...oh so its not like that orz,,, so the most plausible explanation would be that

but the problem is that,, akutami never specify when exactly she had a crush on them,, and when megumi answered todo’s question she had a “♡” reaction 😶,, uhmmm there’s rly no way to look past this if its this way or be in denial

i’ve seen some of "why wouldn't mai react that way after hearing megumi say he'd like someone who's compassionate when she's surrounded by men like naoya",, well I MEAN,,, that, but also mai probs admires that megumi grew up so well out of the clan, regardless of the fact that he had the foundation (10 shadows) to do so. imo she seems happy for him the way she can't be for maki, bc maki ultimately had to leave her behind

hate to say it but yea,, the 3 clans most likely still practice inbreeding in order to preserve their power and presumably their wealth too 😀

i had an idle thought abt it at first but i filed it deep in the back of my mind asap,, bc i ont wanna jump to conclusion abt this out of all things too early. it’s probably not even in jjk, but all those elite clans in other ani/mangas that produce powerful heirs and whatnot also do the same,,, but this way of (my personal) thinking was influenced when i first got into tsukihime (type-moon),,, i read abt the nanaya family background and found out that they practice that in order to keep their bloodline “pure” (to keep it short : they have an optical power),, and i had this kind of assumption ever since so there’s that

i’m,, convinced the zenins' inbreeding made it more difficult for them to get powerful shamans bc they got 2 jujutsu technique-less children with heavenly restrictions in the same generation: toji & maki

even more convinced that maki might be a bit stronger than toji bc toji could see curses without aid while maki can't so the pay-off must be higher,,, SJJASN IDK ,,, plus naoya sort of implies his older brothers are nothing compared to him, and idk if we should take that as his arrogance or that his older brothers rly are weak/powerless. it would make sense as to why naobito had a lot of sons, ig, as head of clan

i feel so bad that if one of the factors that can caused heavenly restriction is inbreeding,, toji and maki and mai had no say in how they wanted to be born but are scorned for it,, typical asian families projecting their traumas and ideals onto their kids but get mad when they realize that those ideals are ugly...😁😁😁

since the zenin are conservative,, i wonder if they still hold onto old jpnese dining traditions. where in ancient jpn, hierarchical relationships were made readily apparent even within families. a dining table where everybody sat down and ate as equals would be unheard of. rather, each individual is given their own table that indicates their status,,, someone who is not considered “strong” according to the zenin’s views most likely have no place at the table, and probs eat when those who are “strong” finished/ serve them when they are eating

if toji was tossed into a swarm of curses,, i dont think abuse during said time is below them,,,

the zenin clan was already great, but they further amassed power and strength by, what i assume to be, marrying and adopting powerful individuals into the clan 🤔 ,,, i imagine they're like the hiiragi but without doing what they did to shinya (ons reference)

BUT after all that, i like to think that since akutami’s a big horror fan, jjk might be an outlet to explore said topics or even darker ones, so i wouldnt be that surpised abt it. given that there’s more than enough “red flags” before this was dropped : a reference to “tale of hikaru genji” when a grown woman asked for gojou’s number in HI arc (out of all things); granny who transformed into the man’s daughter, sat on his lap and man just touched her waist; mei mei and ui ui ; and...this (incestous theme is in the novel btw)

lets not start with whatever the fuck in kubo’s head in the interview otherwise i’m writing paragraphs with every curse words possible,, those big 3 mangakas are so— UGH,, a planet w out (cis) men like him sounds real good rn 😌 if one of yall out there decide to do it,, pls hmu rly cant do this shit anymore

akutami said i like my men pretty and i like women who will step on my neck and spit in my face (I REMEMBERED TATSUKI FUJIMOTO’S INTERVIEW WHEN HE WAS ASKED ABT MAKIMA AND IT WAS SO 😭😭😭😭) but ykw,, love that for both of them <3

when i said 3 : one piece, bleach, naruto. aside from the blatant depiction/ characterize of women in those 3,, idk if some ppl arent aware yet but oda is friends with two (2) convicted pedos,, man...the major disappointment and disgust when i first find out abt it

anyways this is just my 2 cents (which i think rightfully belong to the trash can) so pls just take this w a lil to no grain of salt - 🐱

YEAH THE ♡ LMFAO I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A “good answer ♡“ heart BUT NOW IM RE-EXAMINING?????

honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if the three clans practiced inbreeding. but ik people are going to be 😡😡😡😡😡 about it when the queen of fucking england is literally married to her (something) cousin. i’m not justifying it but like....love the double standards, just as always with the west 😍

DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT FUCKING PED* LIST THEY SHOULD ALL BE IN JAIL. JAILLLLL. it’s all so gross. that’s why i fucking hate when people look towards manga for positive representation because the chances of that are super slim to zero, especially since the industry is saturated with misogyny and ped******* and a lot of other gross stuff.

i think ppl forget jjk is a horror manga LOL so obviously it’s going to confront darker themes. the question is whether it’s going to be done tastefully or not......

#honestly I don't have high hopes unfortunately 😭#but who knows I might be...pleasantly surprised #idk I don't have high hopes in manga nowadays so hmmm #anyway as always I enjoy ur thoughts <3 ❤️❤️#hope ur doing well!!!#and getting all those genshin impact goodies #🐱 anon #long post

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fluffynexu · 4 years

Text

Astralignment

and the Korribani Calendar System

Before the arrival of the Exiles the native Sith on Korriban had their own system of keeping track of time. Over the years, this became standardized and refined and is still in use by a large portion of the modern Pureblood community. Since the ancient Sith were observant beings of their world, many of the names and symbols reflected their natural environment. All of these aspects go into what is known as a Sith’s astralignment (astro-alignment).

Since the Empire runs on Imperial Standard Time (IST), anything relating to Korriban or any other Imperial world is referred by the local time of that planet.

Compare a year on Dromund Kaas to Korriban:

Dromund Kaas (everything in standard)

24 hours/day

312 days/year

7,488 hours/year

60 minutes = 1 hour

24 hours = 1 day

5 days = 1 week

7 weeks = 1 month

35 days = 1 month

8 months (+4 weeks and 4 holidays) = 1 year

312 (standard)days = 1 year

Korriban

28 (standard) hours/day

780 (local) days/year

21,840 (standard) hours/year

70 (standard and local) minutes = 1 hour

24 (local) hours = 1 day

10 (local) days = 1 week

6.5 (local) weeks = 1 month

65 (local) days = 1 month

12 (local) months = 1 year

780 (local) days = 1 year

This roughly makes 1 Korribani year approximately 2.9 [Dromund] Kaasi years.

Calendars

The days on Korriban are annotated on some versions of the Imperial calendar alongside the standard days.

In this example, names of the days on the calendar reflect the IST. The black numbers indicate the date in IST, the red numbers represent the date of the Korribani calendar. Placement of the Korribani date indicate when that day begins in relation to the Kaasi one.

A. 00:00 is the same for both. B. 00:00 K starts at 04:00 DK. C. 00:00 K starts at 08:00 DK. D. 00:00 K starts at 12:00 DK. E. 00:00 K starts at 16:00 DK. F. 00:00 K starts at 20:00 DK. G. Loops back around and 00:00 K lines up 00:00 DK .

While seemingly complicated to some, most Sith have grown with this system of overlapping calendars and can easily tell the date by the positioning of the numbers in this format.

There are of course, electronic versions where the date is shown simply:

Since the Korribani month is longer than the Kaasi one, the dates will continue through the Kaasi months. These next two pictures show how long 1 Korribani month is in relation to a Kaasi one.

There is also a version of the Korribani calendar that does not overlap with IST. These are used locally on the planet.

The days of the Korribani week were named after major gods from the most widespread pantheon on the planet:

Ahmuriq, from Ahmurn: the creator god.

Marseriq, from Marserha: mother goddess of the Sith.

Bashariq, from Bashara: goddess of passion.

Teraiq, from Teral: god of protection and justice.

Iskarliq, from Iskarln: god(dess) of conflict and war.

Marduriq, from Mardur: patron god of the Massassi and strength.

Rusaniq, from Rusanel: goddess of knowledge.

Zefiriq, from Zefir: goddess of the hunt.

Shumariq, from Shumari: god of the harvest.

Goruiq, from Gorul: the trickster god(dess).

Months

There are numerous constellations in the Korribani sky. Twelves of these mark the months of the year as well as going into the astalignment. The 12 major, monthly constellations all depict local fauna from ancient fables and have certain characteristics that are commonly associated with them.

1. Yuninchâtsutuyok, the jiminat and agzonûboj engaged in eternal conflict. Dedicated, ambitious, and insightful.

2. Qyalatuyok, the qyalak. Calm, sentimental, and inquisitive.

3. Badzuriqatuyok, the badzuriqash. Tenacious, practical, and direct.

4. Kaarjontuyok, the kaarjontû. Spontaneous, contemplative, and observant.

5. Tukatatuyok, the tukata. Loyal, respectful, and staunch.

6. Hatyatuyok, the hatya. Articulate, perceptive, and adaptable.

7. Lomaituyok, the lomait. Disciplined, fearless, and competitive.

8. Dzushatuyok, the dzushaj. Private, calculating, and flexible.

9. Mowhetuyok, the mowhef. Stern, traditional, and ruthless.

10. Dyaltituyok, the dyaltir. Mischievous, studious, and charismatic.

11. Jhan’dikanatuyok, the lost dikana. Creative, sociable, and resourceful.

12. Niqoituyok, the niqoit. Erudite, cunning, and free-spirited.

Years

The years are also represented by local animals. No one, not even Sith scholars or historians, are sure of the origin of how these animals came to represent the years on Korriban’s calendar. It is one of the many parts of Sith culture that have been lost since it is believed this particular record has been passed down through oral tellings.

The years are kept track of in a 6-year cycle with each year emphasizing a likely success for the ones born in that year.

Chiroik - Wealth

Wokinai - Knowledge

Natûsh - Fame

Dzenal - Influence

Litskoj - Power

Sulemish - Longevity

(ie. Those born in the year of the Sulemish will have a long life.) This again factors into a Sith’s astralignment.

In addition to the years, these 6 animals are also used for the hours on Korriban. But time is not conveyed in the same manner as Basic. While in Basic one would simply say “14:25” (or two twenty-five in the afternoon) the Sith have a much more involved way to convey time.

For example: Shyracks screech and return to their caves as the priestess prepares the altar in the hour of the wokinai.

Translates to: 07:15 local time (or seven fifteen in the morning).

As a side note, a few centuries ago Darth Feras domesticated and bred wrats within the Empire. At first they weren’t seen with much interest by her peers. But popular rumor has it that she pointed out her creations embody the physical traits of the yearly beasts.

Eyes - Chiroik

Ears - Wokinai

Body - Natûsh

Hands - Dzenal

Feet - Litskoj

Tail - Sulemish

Afterwards they quickly became a favored pet and companion among the Sith, being seen as an auspicious animal.

While not related to their calendar there is a tradition of being assigned a birth flower. For this, the Sith do not look to their skies but rather, when a child is born the placenta is buried in a pot with 12 seeds. The first of these seeds to sprout becomes that Sith’s birth flower. These 12 flowers are also used in medicine, therapeutic or preventive, for some common ailments.

Serla for headaches.

Roshal for good eyesight.

Nashkir for sore throats.

Atsudqâ for heart health.

Hyaranjat for good digestion.

Mûyoin for muscle pain.

Shasâyar for fertility.

Jûzon for blood circulation.

Ashanin for bone mending.

Qoyo for fevers.

Chisiqsanu for irritated ridge skin.

Kûsk’inti for fatigue and replenishing energy.

The last two parts that go into a Sith’s astalignment are their energies. The weekly energies correspond with 4 classic “elements” of earth, fire, air, and water. While the daily energy simply refers to day or night (d/n) in regards to when the person was born.

Combined with all aspects mentioned in this document, year, month, weekly energy, day (+energy), and flower, one can study a Sith’s astalignment. ex. Darth Vowrawn’s astalignment factors:

The study of these astralignments is a complicated field on to its own while the findings can be very important to some among the Sith. There are specialized scholars who offer their services to the old families so that the “perfect matches” (marriage, business, or otherwise) can be set up.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

aaaaahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT’S DONE. i feel like frodo at mt. doom after the ring is destroyed omg... ;-;

SOOOO. i wanted, and i mean REALLY wanted, to finish this for lunar new year (for pretty obvious reasons lol)...... :,) welp. then i was like “i can do may 4″ lol NOPE. but here we are! still technically sith day? whatever. imma say I Did It. :D

also pls don’t laugh at my stupid drawings. i already know i can’t art. ok??? >,<

special thanks to @snootysith for giving me a bunch of sithy names and words for me to use. c: like y’all... coming up with fake words, that look and sound ok is really HARD (for my dumbass anyway)

other worldbuilding posts that are... sorta mentioned/used in this:

@inquisitorhotpants‘s dk calendar

BOOS! x3

and some other stuff ....

but uh, yea. if you’re wondering “hang on there fluffy... did you really make a big, dumbass zodiac/astrology post??” the answer is...

yes.

yes i did... xU

but also i imagine the ancient sith had a lot of special and important dates for you know... religious things? *shrug* and over the many, many years all of this was passed down and prob altered in some way to fit into modern sith society? idk...

now imma say some things here bc i know For A Fact!!! that ppl don’t go onto original posts to read op tags on this hellsite lol.

and this isn’t me trying to sound like an arrogant asshole... but these are for some common questions that’ll undoubtedly come up:

yes, you can use this in any extent or manner.

no, you obvs don’t have to. ignore it if you want. i’ll be ok lol.

no, i’m not gonna write a long ass book with all the little details on every aspect of all the traits and then assign these things for your character(s). just make something up. that’s what i did here xD (plus my brain is d e a d from this)

yes, this is seen as a mostly(!) tomato pureblood sith thing but obvs attitudes are different between individuals. some are super into it, some could careless and think it’s all fake news, some have parents that care too much about it which is annoying and interfering with their life so they lowkey hate it lol.

no, i couldn’t do a read more bc it wouldn’t look as nice and i worked hard ok? ;-; i apologize for clogged dashes in advance.

i think that’s it? ofc feel free to hmu if you’re ok with a reply that can take anywhere from a few min to 3 business days ^-^;

#swtor #sith pureblood #sith warrior #sith inquisitor #y'all know how surprisingly hard it is to make constellations???#like...#DX #they have to look like the thing and i had to know what that Thing was #but also! have you seen rl constellations??#they don't look like The Thing at all!#so i had to make it kinda abstract? idfk #now if you'll excuse me #i'm off to be a completely unproductive member of the fandom again #:')#worldbuilding #long post

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divinearchives · 3 years

Text

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000wfcj/dark-matter-a-history-of-the-afrofuture

Look up some of the artists and thinkers included in Dark Matter -note your thoughts and responses on your blogs, discuss the ideas, note your discussion.

Dark matter notes:

Learning about slave trade in Guyana from ages 13-14, guayana children would feel their country is covered in the blood of slaves.

Slavery - so many identities erased. Turning Afrikan ppl into technology(when your body is technology it means ur body is under control to whoever in controlling that technology.)

Western Capturer’s would throw pregnant Afrikan women into the ocean due to their disturbance on the ship. An forever unknown question is whether these women birthed a generation of ppl who do not need air to breathe and whether they developed their own society? Creating another Afro life force.

Slave Sublime: ‘After death and after despair comes beauty, and after that comes poetry.’

‘Art that infuses with sorrow, but has an ability and a moral depth that under scores so much cultural production.’

‘Through spirituals, Through the blues and then through jazz, we made a memory of our past and promise of all to come.’

Double consciousness: the idea of black people having to see through their eyes and also through the western gaze.

The awareness of how certain things are not credible. To see the world as alien, as other & strange and to allow it to defeat us.

Quotes:

‘For the people cast overboard, it is the end of the world. For the western world, this is the lowest moral point.’

“The mystery of the unknown is what really makes us tick.” ‘Carrying identities, cultures, love and names.’

‘Using what is unknown about the past to speculate what is there for us in the future.’ ‘My attraction to space is that we are in space.’

‘I feel i am from the omniverse rather than from the universe’ - SUN RA

‘By the time you finish thinking the moment is gone.’

‘Cosmic liberation dance’

References/Things to look up:

Birth of a new life 2001:

https://open.spotify.com/track/3X4ZfSPMts05NhYBncWfKB?si=v7Jab2YtTkitoNFAMyM4SA&dl_branch=1

Drexciya - The Quest

https://youtu.be/V7G6MnqmBOc

https://youtu.be/Wb91US63_Kc

Drexciya -The Black sea: https://youtu.be/Sd0u7-qP2I0

Until the quiet ones - Flying lotus https://open.spotify.com/track/2zrvnfviONrzOp3ICs0hc0?si=hXTt4B4AQFOCmKXLsnOqSA&dl_branch=1 When I Get Home by Solange

Egungun: Ancestors can’t find me, Cauleen Smith

Comic musicians:

The mothership of connection Jimi hendrix

Earth wind and fire

Sun ra

Outkast

Afronauts

Books

Invisible man - Ralph Ellison

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bi-dazai · 4 years

Text

honestly i think i have a weird anger or cultural confusion where other gay and trans ppl are like much happier and comfortable to come out and shit and be open, but I've always had an extremely complicated relationship with it because it's always made me feel so isolated and lonely, even with other gay ppl around. and younger ppl especially will like go around coming out so frequently and meanwhile if I'm going to even tell you that I'm attracted to women I have to trust you 110% and that isn't something that comes easy.

I'm terrified of like. Wearing even rainbow goddamn socks because I'm scared shitless of getting bullied, or harassed, or even assaulted. Which is ironic considering I try to be quite fashionable in public but with being openly bi (let alone being openly TRANS) it's a complete no-no.

Like I think as much as I love being bi and nb at the same time I still despise it, I still think it's ruined my life. I have gender dysphoria about my chest whereas if I was cis I would be so happy with how feminine my body is. My first ever relationship with another girl at the moment being cut short by abusive homophobia fucked me up in innumerous ways, leading me to like...severe issues with the way i feel about sex and emotional attachment and touch.

And ofc there's the homophobia, like at this moment I'm probably leaning towards getting a fuckbuddy or smth over tinder but like a romantic relationship with another person is terrifying, like I'm insanely private w relationships even w men, I won't let us hold hands if I think too many people might see bc i have this stupid complex

There's more and more but my relationship with being Out is one where it's something that I simultaneously desire and despise, being Out is one of the most terrifying concepts I can think of and to me having someone refer to me as "they" and not as a woman is simply not as important as being safe, as not living in even more fear of assault.

And then all around me ppl my age (although usually younger) are all coming out to anyone and everyone like it's just casual, saying their pronouns like it's nothing. And first it's disbelief and shock because holy fuck, has everyone gone fucking mad?? Are we all so fucking stupid that we just forget the everloving fear homophobia strikes into you?? And then it's the jealousy, that these people have this comfortable relationship with their own gay/transness and enough trust to actually open up and tell a room full of strangers "please call me they not she". It's disappointment and anger in myself that almost 7 years after forcing myself to whisper "I'm bisexual" to the bathroom mirror in the middle of the night and then cry my eyes out because it felt like I'd been cursed, and probably over a decade since I'd started having sexual feelings about all genders, and an entire lifetime of having feelings for men women and others, after so long I'm still just a coward who sits and hates it all, who fears it all.

But then recently I've come to the realisation that the way I realised I was gay was a way that's kind of...dying out. That being the mostly offline way.

Don't take this the wrong way but I've found a lot of people go online and find this overwhelming amount of support and representation for gay and trans identity. You can argue validly this statement, but the context I use this in is comparing it to like. 2013. People were way less online. Being an online celebrity was a novelty.

At school there were dyke, faggot, tranny, etc, thrown around as if they were confetti. Jokes about "lesbos" and "lesbihonest" humiliated any girl who was too close to another girl. I grew up not just in Brisbane Queensland but in a town that was connected to the mainland only by two bridges - a landbridge and a humanmade bridge. The school was overwhelmingly anglo. Overwhelmingly right wing.

I realised I was bi with minimal help from Tumblr. I realised I was bi because I fell, hard, for my best friend. And then she liked me back, and our relationship was amazing. But the school found out. We held hands under the table, we found a quiet moment to kiss and everyone pointed and stared. We made out in the shadow of a building and turned to find twenty people watching gawkeyed, pointing, fascinated.

The entire time her mum was abusive, and massively homophobic. She blamed me for turning her daughter gay. She forced us multiple times to break up at the threat of violence. Eventually we did. We never talked about it. Our friendship never returned like it used to. It was awkward, tinged with sadness, regret, yearning and young love cut short.

It was traumatic, to say the least.

Tumblr in 2014, despite the cringe screenshots, wasn't actually mostly about LGBT positivity or whatever. I first saw the term bisexual on, if you can believe me, a quotev story in 2011 about a cheerleader and an emo girl who get together in a secret relationship. You were either gay or straight, or you had an exception. Bisexual felt right, though, for me, felt accurate, was accurate.

It was years of confusion and secrecy and guilt, peeks at other girls in the changing room that I couldn't help and I didn't understand why. Then it was months and months of anger and frustration at myself that I was feeling this way and confused about myself, and then when I said those words it felt like I was being torn apart. It felt like my life had fallen apart. I cried every goddamn night, I felt awful all the time.

At school the kids noticed. They noticed before I started dating my friend, they noticed the way I looked at her and they interrogated me about it. I'd claim up and down I had a crush on another boy - true perhaps, but it was a passing interest - and then they said they told him and analysed how I reacted. And then the interrogations continued for months because the gay girl was entertainment for them. Around me, as I walked between classes, had lunch, walked home, dyke dyke dyke faggot hahaha.

And then the relationship happened and then leelah alcorn happened and I learned what a trans person is. And sometime when I was fifteen I saw nonbinary begin to pop up, terms like genderfluid and nonbinary and they rang true like bisexual did, but the last time I went down a rabbit hole like that it ended in trauma, and another person got hurt. I didn't throw homophobia at her, but I felt and still feel responsible for it. I didn't turn her gay, but I made it obvious. I don't quite know how to say it.

I knew I was nonbinary, deep down. One day I decided to add that to my tumblr bio. Nobody gave a shit, just like nobody gave a shit when I said I was bi. But that was because I wasn't open about it even online. I couldn't talk about that stuff or I'd curse myself.

Time went on, I got more comfortable, collected fresh new traumas. My brother came out as trans. Around me, friends came out as gay and trans. But they kept coming out. They didn't stop at close friends and trusted family, they told teachers, their entire class. I didn't understand. Why the fuck would you put yourself at risk like that?? And I still don't. I said it was jealousy and anger at myself before, and maybe it is still a little bit, but now, it's just concern.

As I said, the way I realised I was gay is the rather old fashioned way - offline, through trauma, and almost entirely unenjoyable and traumatic. A lot of kids still go through that for sure. But the ones I see telling everyone over that they're gay or trans are, in my experience, not those ones. As the internet began to become more of a general use thing and less of a "only recluse weirdos" space, the online LGBT safe space began to expand into an audience bigger than before. Online, you were safe. Nobody knew your name, you were behind a screen. Homophobia was veiled, you could just delete a hateful anon, could just log off. You could put up your pronouns and people would use them because, well, ppl didn't really have any other identifier someone might use for your gender. So this positive uplifting atmosphere spawned for the most part. And instead of learning through confusion and rare chance encounters with random words and crying into the sink every night that you're gay, you much easier come across this content that tells you indepth what this is and that it's okay. And you think, well wow, that's me, and then...you know, I guess. Not denying there's some of the classic self hatred etc but...you have this safe space online to fall back on, and I cannot emphasise how much that has pushed the acceptance and widespread knowledge of lgbt people in the past 5 years. I didn't exactly have that space, and my realisation was through mostly real life channels, which were swamped at all sides by homophobia, at worst, abusive, at kindest, it would treat you like a sideshow attraction.

Being someone who arguably isn't old enough to brush this difference away with being an "older gay" but still having had a gay experience quite different to the majority in my generation (applying this to area as well) I have to say I'm confronted with this comfortableness other days have a lot and it's always jarring. I think also that while it's important and I'm happy that "younger" gays and transes have at least one good support network/space to fall back onto online, I do think it creates this kind of...dangerous other side, especially for those who go to schools that are LGBT positive and have families who are also friendly to that sort of stuff. I find that young gay teens are totally unprepared and unhardened for the fact that most people you run into in real life despise your guts for existing as who you are. And while we can make as many soppy gay narratives as possible about being honest about who you are and losing shame, we need to face the fact and teach young lgbt kids that being Out isn't just something you do as a ritual in being gay or trans, it's a brave thing and it's completely optional. And furthermore, most importantly, it's insanely dangerous.

I don't think that teenage, raw fear of the consequences of even the very concept of being Out has ever left me. Perhaps I have to thank the homophobic 14 yr olds who swamped me in slurs and trauma, because it's given me a survival sense that's kept me closeted so far you'd never get in.

But occasionally I'm tempted, particularly with my transness which I am only out to perhaps 3 people about, to venture into the world of telling people about yourself. I started a new uni semester and in a tutorial, the teacher handed out cards. We were to use it as a placard to write our names on it so the teacher would learn our names over the next few classes. And, if we chose...our pronouns.

I stared at that card for what felt like a million years. This has always been an ordeal. People don't know how to pronounce my name, even though it's a rather simple one. But pronouns? I'd never really told anyone those. Online, yes, and once when I was asked by a friend i was brave enough to say "any will do" but this - this wasn't the curated safe online space, this wasn't a one-time phrase to a friend. This was an open, permanent thing that would sit below me every class, declaring me to 18 other people. I wrote down "NATALYA", then beneath "she/". And then I stared some more. I felt like I was going to die. I felt like I was the biggest fool, because before I could stop myself I wrote "she/they". No "he", not yet. But...it was there.

At the end of the class the teacher collected the placards. I wanted to run back screaming, wanted to ask her for a new card so I could be safe again. But I didn't because I would look like a freak and a coward.

I still think it's stupid. I still think I've put some petty gesture that no one will ever respect (if they can call you she they won't ever call you they) above my own safety. The thing that really struck me was that it didn't feel good. The reason I wrote it like that, I believe in hindsight, is that I was curious what those other kids feel like, because it must feel good to declare that you're a tr*nny d*ke in front of the entire class, good enough to beat the stomach-lurching dread that precedes such an action. But it didn't. It just felt like an unnecessary risk. And it made me feel worse, like there was a target on the back of my head.

I think I could talk about this forever, about how so many kids believe coming out is this thing you're required to do to be a good gay, but it's not. It's stupid stupid reckless, and in my case it ends with you getting fucked over.

But Ive written for ages and gotten prosaic halfway through so I'm gonna shut up. Basically why the fuck do you guys come out to everyone like please stay safe instead of this it isn't worth it.

#tw d slur #tw f slur #tw homophobia #personal #i didnt hear much transphobia in my grade until towards the end of highschool #because nobody back then rly knew what a trans person was #also #long post #like REALLY long #t slur

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locktobre · 4 years

Note

Ok one more thing about PCS that will FOREVER make my brain hurt from thinking about it too much is HOW was Sophia like,, not in the accident? In fact, if the crash was even investigated, how did they see that oh, hey, the baby isn't the car! Like?? Why did they assume she was dead if she wasn't in the crash? It hurts my brain I can't even explain it. BARBIE EXPLAIN PLEASE.

Oh, believe you me I’ve thought about THAT a lot! It’s probably the thing in barbie I’ve analyzed the MOST. So let’s dive in!

It’s going to get morbid, but I mean, there’s no way it won’t given the situation we’re talking about. Also, length again, sorry.

I actually believe that baby Sophia was in the car. I think it’s the only thing that makes sense. I go back and forth on what her body not being there meant--it could be that the car was too burnt up for anyone to be recognizable, so they thought maybe they just missed her in the wreckage. (She was only 1 after all, she’d be quite small.) Or they knew her body wasn’t there, but they might have thought she got thrown from the car, or otherwise got out somehow... and then, being a small baby out in the wilderness, she died of exposure. I picture the crash happening somewhere rather remote, not in the city proper, so they were basically out in the woods. It would be reasonable to assume that she died if she was not at the crash site, even without her body being there, bc again, she was just a baby. I have her as 14 months old, which means she’d probably barely be able to walk at that point.

Of course, there is a conspiracy theory around the crash. They say vaguely in the beginning that maybe the whole family didn’t die in the accident, without really namedropping Sophia specifically until they see her portrait... so it’s possible (even probable) that there are multiple theories about it. But Sophia’s body being missing or otherwise unaccounted for would probably do a lot to keep that one circulating.

On that note, the novelization has this to say:

According to another rumor in the kingdom, some of Queen Isabella’s family members were still alive. Some thought these family members were kept as prisoners in the palace dungeons.

It’s vague again, but it has the added detail of thinking they’re in the dungeon. It also says “some of,” again not singling out Sophia specifically, which is interesting. That could have some basis in the reality of the crash, or it could just be 18 years of conspiracy theories. That’s something I try to keep very much in mind--even though it’s basically true, in that Sophia is obviously still alive, it’s not the actual truth. So her missing body could have easily spurred the initial theory that she survived, and that became a theory that multiple ppl involved didn’t actually die, and so on.

This is where it comes back to Miss Martha Willows, for me. Bc if Sophia’s body was obviously missing from the crash (and not unrecognizably burnt, as per my other theory)... they would have been looking for her. They would have searched the woods, any nearby houses, any place that a baby could conceivably be. They would talk to anyone around, there would probably be some kind of reward set up, they would want any and all information about where the lost princess could be. So.. why, exactly, wouldn’t Martha come forward and say “Hey, I found this baby on my doorstep, I live close by, this is probably the baby you’re looking for.” Like, is that even the real story?

Also in the novelization, after Hadley speculates that maybe baby Sophia was found and left on a doorstep, Delancy thinks:

Could someone have really left a baby on a stranger’s doorstep? And could i have been my very own mother?

And I don’t believe that at all, not for one second, as I said in a post last year. If Dame Devin (Regina) went through all the trouble of killing her own brother, I don’t think she’d spare a baby. If only bc doing so means that events like the movie could happen--having Sophia out there would mean a loose end. It would mean that Sophia could figure out who she was and come back at any time. Which is... exactly what happened.

Now, since Regina was left as Delancy’s regent after the crash, I presume she had some influence over the investigation. It’s entirely possible that she would want it shut quickly, so there would be less of a chance that anyone could find evidence of her involvement... But Sophia’s missing body would still be a loose end. She could easily play up being the grieving aunt hoping to find her baby niece still alive, while in actuality she was just trying to make sure that nothing was going to come back to haunt her. I think that fits her personality the best.

Regina and Martha working together in some capacity, with Martha perhaps being paid off to adopt Sophia... might explain how Sophia came to Martha in the first place, but I just don’t think it makes sense. Regina’s too meticulous. She got away with murder for 18 years, and she would have kept getting away with it if she hadn’t literally confessed on live tv. At no point does anyone point a finger at her; everyone always refers to it as an accident. Even when Hadley is pushing the theory that Blair is baby Sophia, Isla only thinks that Delancy and Regina know who Blair is and that’s why they mistreat her. And she’s half right about that, since that is what’s happening on Regina’s side. (I’ve pointed it out before, but singling Blair out like she did was SO stupid of her, since it’s literally one of the things that points them to the theory of Blair being Sophia!)

Also, I’ll say it again: Regina literally murdered her own brother--her twin brother, in my headcanon. (Hence the similar names. It’s also funny bc it means ‘queen.’ But I really needed them to be twins for their ages to work out correctly.) And the only reason we’re given for any sort of conflict between them (really, between her and Isabella) is that Regina was passed over for a lady royal position. I’ve headcanoned a little more depth to it than that, but the woman is clearly crazy. Like. She’s nuts. If her own brother meant nothing to her--at least, not enough to not murder him--then she is capable of anything. Including murdering a little baby. (Or, trying to.) There’s no way around that.

Anyway, that’s a whole tangent, but back on topic: Yes, I think Sophia was in the car. How she got out of the car and into Martha’s care is a matter of considerable debate, but she had to be in there, otherwise nothing else makes sense. And it makes sense to me that she would be considered dead after long enough passed with no one finding her body and no one coming forward to say they had her safe. She was a tiny, helpless baby, so it’s the only logical conclusion. Ppl would want her to be alive, of course, and enough of a fuss was made that a conspiracy theory sprung up about her survival... But without any evidence to support it, they’d really have no choice but to close the book on it and move on.

#mel irl #barbie babbles #brilliant echo: princess charm school #lucie don't look #anonymous #thanks for asking

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sunsetsover · 5 years

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Talk about yesterdays episode.. tell me everything you enjoyed in detail lol.

first of all lemme just say i’m SO SORRY this took me so long to get to i know i said i’d answer this like last sunday but sometimes shit happens!!! but you asked for me to go into detail so i very much went into detail so!!! buckle in!!!

i’m doing this in bulletpoints for clarity otherwise it will just be an incoherent mess lmao

(also for reference this is abt the 8th nov ep aka the ‘you’re my boyfriend’ ep!)

ok so let me preface by saying i fuckin adored this ep it’s like god tier for me rn i love ben and pam’s relationship so mf much i hope she comes back soon

like the fact that she just knew!! she knew smth was going on w callum and ben more or less straight away and ok granted those two were not exactly being subtle what with the domestic they were having in the middle of the albert but u know... for all she knew callum was straight and had just broken up w whitney so the fact that she knows ben well enough to just be able to Know smth was goin on despite all of that?? i love that it says so much abt their relationship!!

and then her being the nan that she is and taking it upon herself to fish for information with jay like ‘callum seems nice.... shame abt whitney 👀’ and then jay covering for their asses by not saying anything but pam is Not Stupid and jay was also tellingly vague so she was instantly like i see 👀👀

and then ben entering the parlour shouting about ‘bring out your dead’ or w/e it is he says like the little shit he is and pam rolling her eyes and just the easy affection of that whole interaction like her gently slapping his face and calling him a little devil like ur damn right he is!! almost literally!! but there’s sm overt affection and love there and it’s so nice to see bc ben doesn’t really get that from anyone else (he does from callum now, and jay in certain situations, but it’s just different u know?? like u dont even see that energy from his own mum v often so it’s just... nice to see idk)

like i just love her she has such nan energy and it’s so comforting and warm and she needs to be around forever not just for ben but for jay and lola and also callum like ? pls come back forever pam

ben innocently trying to help callum out by getting him promoted to manager when he hears jay is gonna take a step back like!! he was really just tryna help bc he knew callum was struggling w money... and alright, he probably shouldn’t have meddled and i get why callum wasn’t happy abt it (i’ll get to that) but i also truly believe that that wasn’t him tryna control the situation or interfere or whatever but him genuinely trying to help out his bf and jay was gonna take a step back anyway so it wasn’t even like he was the one to suggest it or anything idk i just thought as misguided as it might have been it was very sweet and thoughtful

also the fact that ben’s reaction to jay being like ‘i suppose callum could be ready to be a manager’ was basically ‘yeah man have you seen him in that suit!!! he makes my dick hard!!!’ like !!!!!!! he was so sincere and enthusiastic as well like he’s fucking diabolical i love him sm ..... pair that with jay’s reaction basically just being like ‘........................ anyways’ sdkfjsdkfsl iconic scene

and then later!!!! you’ve got ben practically chasing callum into the parlour when he sees him go in there!! he’s so excited to see callum and tell him the good news abt the promotion!! bc he’s done good!!! he’s helping!!! bc he knows damn well he’s in the doghouse bc of what had happened with pam and like the energy he radiated when he walked into that parlour was very much ‘i am coming to u w my tail between my legs bc i know i fucked up but instead of saying sorry i’m going to give u the sad eyes and hope u relent’ and like u can see he was practically buzzing out of his skin as he waited for jay to tell him abt the promotion and he’s looking at callum like ‘look! look at what i did!! i’m fixing it! i’m making up for my mistake!’ bc this is obviously how he thinks he can fix things instead of idk having a conversation and talking abt things but!!! i love it ben’s so cute

but ofc it backfires bc callum doesn’t want ben to fix things!! he doesn’t need ben fixing things!! he can look after himself! and we the audience know it wasn’t like ben went to jay and was like ‘you need to promote callum bc he’s struggling with money’, it was more of a two birds one stone situation. but ofc callum doesn’t know that, and it comes across very much as ben meddling and also - as callum says - very hot and cold. like ben can’t tell pam abt their relationship and will ignore him for hours but will (seemingly) wade in like some kind of knight in shining armour bc callum said he’s having money troubles? nah. i said it at the time but i completely agree w callum’s reaction, i would have reacted the same way if i were him. and maybe on any other day callum wouldn’t have reacted so strongly, but after what had happened that morning w pam it’s completely understandable why he goes off on one.

and like poor ben is so confused like he obviously really thought this would be good news and put him back in callum’s good graces but ofc it doesn’t bc what callum needed was an explanation and apology. and you can see how confused and crestfallen he is bc he doesn’t want to fight w callum and he really didn’t want to make things worse but he evidently has and not only that but jay is there witnessing his massive fuck up in action. and u can just tell from the body language that he straight up doesn’t know what to do or say so he’s just kinda floundering bc he really thought he could fix what had happened with pam bc what? he half talked jay into giving callum a promotion? bless him lmao

then he goes full grovel mode - even if he is still very ben about it - and is leaving him voicemails (meaning he’s tried to call him multiple times, he probably tried texting too lmao) and moping abt in the cafe looking all sad and stressed and it’s just so good bc he knows he fucked up and he’s trying not to let it fester which is a v good and v adult thing to do. plus the juxtaposition of ben being like ‘u know ur gonna forgive me so stop being a diva and call me back’ and then that soft little ‘please 🥺’ tacked on the end??? delicious

and then pam walking up to him and standing there and just sighing. like not a word, she just stands there and sighs like dkjfkjsdkfjlsdkf mood !!

no but ok that whole scene of ben and pam in the cafe really had me welling up like just. everything about it. the layers to it all. and i won’t sit here and dissect every little thing even tho i probably could bc we’d be here all day but like just. all of it.

like pam’s exasperation at ben not telling her about him and callum (bc obviously she’s found out from someone - probably honey, who wouldn’t think to lie abt it if pam asked outright), ben not even being marginally surprised that she knows bc even he must know how obvious he’s been, and she was bound to find out from someone. the fact that he jumped when she raised her voice and pointed at him - i could make a whole separate post about that honestly that just. says so much about ben. but yh.... the fact that she knew without him even having to open his mouth that ben was gonna say it was to spare her feelings (like that’s essentially what he says to callum later in the ep). the fact that he didn’t really have a good excuse to offer her and he knew that. his sad little face and the fact that he made himself smaller and ducked his head like just his body language in general (max bowden is SO good at playing on that shit, he has a way of making ben seem physically smaller in certain situations and i love it sm). ben being like ‘idk i thought it’d be easier’ and pam immediately being like ‘yeah for u not callum!!!’ like the ‘u silly boy!!’ was so heavily implied throughout this whole scene u can practically taste it.

and pam! pam manages to effectively have a go at ben and call him out on his shit without belittling him or being cruel or nasty (and no naming names but like. certain mothers could learn a thing or two 👀) and actually have ben listen to her. because she listens to him and hears him and respects and loves him and he respects and loves her so she can have a go at him and his back won’t go up and he won’t lash out because he knows she’s not going to try and hurt him or be unnecessarily harsh. and that’s why their relationship is so special. also i’m still v bitter abt the way kathy handled calling out ben’s shit as opposed to how pam handled it but 🤷🏻‍♀️

like it’s such a little thing but it’s the way she waited for ben to speak. ben said ‘i didn’t-’ and then cut himself off, obviously either struggling to find the right words or struggling to say them out loud, and she just waited for him. waited for him to find the words, to figure out how to say it. she didn��t rush him or try and put words in his mouth or anything, she just sat there quietly, patiently waiting for ben to explain himself in his own time. that is the difference between her and everyone else, and that’s why ben listens to her. because she listens to him - and i mean really, actually listens rather than just hearing the sound of his voice ygm

and then they get too the root of it all: paul. he says he didn’t want pam thinking he’d forgotten paul - which is only half true, imo. i think he was (and maybe still is) just as scared that he’s going to forget paul. i think he has a lot of unaddressed issues when it comes to paul and what happened in general. and i think he definitely needed permission specifically from les and/or pam that it was ok for him to move on now - bc other ppl have tried to tell him that but u can tell from how he’s reacted in the past that he doesn’t like ppl who didn’t really know paul talking abt what he would or wouldn’t want. but pam did know paul, probably better than anyone. and she’s telling him that it’s ok. that she wants him to be happy, and that’s exactly what paul would want too. and she would know - she’s his nan. so ben can allow himself to listen to her. he trusts her, trusts that she would know what paul would want, how he would feel. and now he has permission to let go of the past a little bit and finally start moving on.

and that’s hard!! like as much as he might like callum, that’s still a hard thing to do for him!! you can see on his face that it’s hard for him to digest and accept what pam’s telling him - that maybe it’s finally time to let go. it’s just as hard for him to confess that yeah, he does care about callum - he gives her the tiniest nod of the head because he can hardly even bring himself to say it, but he can’t deny it either. and it’s hard for pam too, is the thing. you can from the way her voice shakes as she tells him it’s time to start showing callum that he cares how hard she’s trying not to cry. not because she’s not being sincere, not bc she doesn’t mean it or she doesn’t want ben to move on and be happy, but it’s still a hard thing. the world has moved on without paul, and now ben - the last link to him in a lot of ways - is too, and as necessary and as good as that is for him, it doesn’t make it any easier for them. grief is a weird and difficult thing and i think they both did a good job of portraying the struggle of it in this scene.

and then them having this moment right at the end at the end where they’re just smiling at each other w their heads rested together and it’s not an easy thing and they’re both obviously a bit upset and broken but it’s so sincere and warm and she just pulls him in and kisses his head and he just lets himself be comforted by her and by this point i had a big lump in my chest bc it was a very real and important and sweet moment and i was a lil overwhelmed

the tiny mick and callum scene!! i want more of them!!! we haven’t had a proper mick and callum scene since before the wedding i think and i know realistically it’s bc danny dyer has been doin other stuff and hasn’t been filming much and then when he has been filming obv the focus has been on the ollie/linda stuff but!! i miss them and it was so good to see them acknowledge that they haven’t seen each other much and for mick to acknowledge callum’s relationship w ben (calling it ‘matters of the heart’ 🥺️) it was just Good i love their relationship sm and i miss them and i need more!!

mick being so happy to see pam was just !!!!!!!!!! like everyone loves pam!!!!!!! please can she come back and stay forever pls

ben’s face when he tried to approach callum only for callum to turn his back on him like that boy was CRUSHED and he didn’t know what to do like he just stood there for a moment unsure what to do w himself and it was Gud

the shot of callum drinking his beer looking all mopey and dejected with ben staring at the back of his head obviously pining even if he wasn’t in focus and then pam telling ben to basically get his shit together and fix this and practically shoving him towards callum while ben’s lookin like he’s trying to psych himself up and mick’s just there looking between all of them trying to figure the whole thing out??? high art

ben approaching callum looking visibly nervous and out of his depth... and then callum seeming genuinely surprised that ben had come over... bye

the fact that the first thing ben said was ‘i’m sorry’!!! ben saying he understands why callum flipped out the way he did!!! callum saying he understands that ben was just trying to help!!!! ben acknowledging that callum is hurt and upset and then explaining why he did what he did and how he felt but still acknowledging that he hurt callum!!! the fucking communication!!!!!!!! like honestly it hasn’t been smooth sailing for these two so far but they always seem to be surprisingly good at communicating and talking when smth is going wrong, at least after the fact (esp ben) and i LOVE that it’s so healthy!!

callum doing the very callum thing and being like ‘it’s fine, i get it’ even tho he’s clearly still upset bc he doesn’t wanna rock the boat but then ben being like ‘no, it’s not fine! what i did is not fine! you don’t have the pretend that it is!’ and callum seeming lowkey taken aback by that :-(

(pam and mick just watching on in the background of all of this like the pseudo parents they are like honestly??? maybe the best part of the scene LMAO)

that little bit of nervousness before ben says ‘you’re my boyfriend’ like he said it in a very sure way but you could tell he was nervous bless him... and then the way callum’s face lit up but he tried to hide it and not smile and play it cool with his ‘you’ve never called me that before’ but then it cuts back to ben who has the biggest smile on his face but u can tell he’s tryna suppress it a lil too but failing miserably AND THEN shy ben makes an appearance w his little ‘well you are, aren’t ya?’ like he just wants to be sure!! he wants to ask so callum has the opportunity to say no (though judging by both of their faces he knew callum wasn’t gonna say no lmao) but he’s still ben so he’s gotta ask in this roundabout way... man it’s so cute

combine that with callum’s little pout and squint like he was pretending he really had to think abt it and the tone of his little ‘yeah’ like he was like ‘i suppose so’.... the subtle banter of it all i love it.... but he can’t keep it up for long bc then he’s the one with a massive smile on his face like bro... the sun doesn’t even shine that bright

and then ben’s little disbelieving ‘yeah?’ like he had to make sure :-(

AND JUST PAM AND MICK BEING LIKE AWWW WHEN THEY KISSED AND MICK BEING LIKE ‘HOW LOVELY’ AND JUST STANDING THERE SMILING AT THEM IT TOOK ME OUT FR

ben asking callum if he’s happy and callum tapping ben’s chin and telling him he is...................... the two of them looking at each other Like That....... talented brilliant incredible amazing etc

pam being like ‘my work here is done’ i love HER

ben making a point of being like ‘pam i want you to meet my boyfriend’ he’s so fuckin cute i love him

the whole pam and callum exchange from the hug to her holding his hand and telling him how lucky he is to have ben and then telling callum that ben has the biggest heart of anyone she knows but saying it to ben bc she knows he needs to hear that too bc like... when has anyone EVER said that about ben?? when has anyone ever thought that about ben?? but she sees through all the bullshit and sees him for the kind, soft-hearted, loving but equally damaged boy he really is and she wants callum to know and understand that but also for ben to know that too and i’m crying just thinking about it bc you can see ben’s face change and how emotional he starts to get not only bc it’s pam and everything that must be going through his head abt paul, but also just?? someone being kind to him?? saying smth nice?? god i’m broken

like pam really almost had me in tears in this scene genuinely esp when she was clearly getting emotional (as was ben) and she took both of their hands and told them to look after each other, given everything that happened with paul, and them both saying ‘we will’.... like that really fucked me up.... it felt like a Moment.... and then follow that up w pam and ben resting their heads against each other and whispering ‘i love you’ and it was so warm and full of love and adoration .... the ‘i hate goodbyes’.... the palm kiss.... the fact that ben looked like he was abt to cry as pam left... i was a broken woman truly

and then they just went on as if nothing happened and they didn’t just have a very significant relationship moment with the ‘i am lucky’ ‘i’m glad you realize it’ banter lmao

ben being like ‘u have the support of ur boyfriend 🥰️’ when callum was explaining he wanted to leave the parlour like he really couldn’t keep that word out of his mouth huh 🥺️

and the way he grabbed callum’s hand but only managed to get 3 fingers and then callum putting his hand on top of ben’s like for some reason that really fucked me up......... like gays and hands am i right

the journey ben’s face went on when callum told him he wanted to join the police.... the way it went from ‘haha good joke’ to ‘..................... wait he’s being serious’ to ‘oh god what the fuck’ was amazing lmao

and then him interrupting jay and lola w his massive dramatic freak out was so fucking funny like the way jay just shoved lola off his lap when ben come in KILLED me honestly and like ben’s on the verge of a breakdown and his brother and the mother of his child are just taking the piss and laughing at his expense.......... i love family

yeah so perhaps i went a bit overboard w this one but i did make you wait like a week and a half so perhaps this will make up for it lmao ??? but rlly tho i loved this ep sm there was so much good abt it and i want to keep pam forever thank u for ur time 💖💖

#ballum #eastenders #i fully went overboard with this looking at it now but i have a lot of pam feelings allow me #anon #question

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dragimal · 5 years

Text

Longform Audio Creepypasta Recs

hey TMA fandom! as a new TMA listener but looooongtime creepypasta fan, I find it rly cool that ppl who aren’t into horror are getting into TMA! I’m hoping this will help bring fresh blood (hah) to the horror fandom, so if you’ve realized that you rather like audio horror but don’t know what else to look into, I’m here to recommend my favorite longform creepypasta narrations!

this is far from an exhaustive list of long creepypastas, but I just want to introduce some of the stories I consider to be the best of the genre. and while I’m just reccing longform in this post, there are plenty of short one-shots I could rec if anyone wants to ask me abt a specific theme/Entity or even a specific ep of TMA (there are several MAG eps that brought me straight back to a specific creepypasta or two, lmao)

also, I’ll just be linking to MrCreepyPasta’s narrations b/c I’m heavily biased so I mostly listen to him, but there are plenty of other great narrators out there like CreepsMcPasta, CreepypastaJr, etc. (most of their names are variations on a theme asdfgh). and if u just want the text version of any of these, every video I link has a link in its own description back to the original text posting of the story

THAT outta the way, here are my recs! I’ll try to remember all the trigger warnings I can, but keep in mind I tend to be p hardy to most horror content, so there may be some things that slip past simply b/c they don’t register to me. also it’s been a minute since I’ve listened to some of these, so some have updated or I may have just forgotten some aspects. I’ll also update this if ppl find it useful and I find more good long pastas~

Penpal (2.5 hrs, complete)

op recounts some of their odd experiences as a child, all of which stem from an elementary school project involving a pen pal. as he recalls these experiences, a horrifying picture of his past begins to emerge...

easily my favorite pasta of all time-- and that’s saying something, considering there are some damn good recs here. it’s one of the first I read so long ago, and few have come close to what this one made me feel. op does an incredible job of capturing the nostalgia and childhood wanderlust of youth, and the last few lines of each chunk of the story hit like a goddamned truck-- esp "Friends”, I cry like a baby every time, it just.... hits something tender in me...

TW: stalking of children, subsequent kidnapping and child abuse at the end (and while it’s not necessarily *confirmed*, heavy implications of child sexual abuse, for that last bit). implied cat death. some graphic description of the victim of a hit-and-run

Search and Rescue Woods (~5 hrs, ongoing?)

op recalls several of the strange and disturbing experiences (their own and quoted from coworkers) of working search-and-rescue for an unnamed national forest in the US

y’know that feeling u get when u see photos lawn chairs just sitting at the bottom of the ocean? even if there’s a perfectly good explanation for why they’re there, it’s still haunting b/c it feels wrong to see them there, in that context? that’s basically this entire assortment of stories-- the obvious example being the stairs, of course, but even a lot of the human elements feel so out of place and wrong. if you’re a fan of Spiral-type horror w/ a hard edge of Stranger, this is the story for u

TW: generally clinical but graphic descriptions of mutilated bodies. use of the r-slur against an nd individual (it’s during a story that the main character is quoting from a different one-off character, so it thankfully only happens the one time..). child death, in certain stories. some wild animal death

Borrasca (2.5 hrs, complete)

Sam moves to a small mountain town with his family after his father’s job relocates them. he hears some spooky legends about the town, but doesn’t think much of them... that is, until his sister disappears. as Sam and his friends dig deeper into the town’s history to find any clues to his sister’s disappearance, they begin to realize there’s something deeply deeply wrong with their quaint little home

I’ve always loved horror that’s ‘mundane’ enough to be done by regular humans, but vague enough that it could actually be supernatural, under the right circumstances-- and this is one of those mysteries that keeps u guessing until the VERY end. my mind felt like that Pepe Silvia corkboard meme the first time I listened to this, I was losin’ it. this is also prolly one of my favorite examples of MCP’s talent as a narrator, b/c he adds in his own subtle foreshadowing with his voicework, and it blows my mind every time I listen to it again

also worth mentioning there’s a (3.5 hr) sequel! since the horror/mystery is basically done after the first one, the sequel is mostly suspense/thriller and character closure. if ur just here for the horror/mystery and the gut-punch of that first ending, then the sequel isn’t necessary. but if you want more closure for our dear sweet cast who deserve so much better, then by all means!

TW: the ending involves heavy sexual abuse (involving underage girls, no less), part of which is graphic. like I know I joke abt having to take breaks after reading emotionally exhausting stories, but I genuinely had to take a couple days of recovery after this one-- and that’s from someone who’s p hardy to all kinds of graphic content. do NOT take this warning lightly if this is a sensitive topic for you

Tales From the Gas Station (10 hrs for free, otherwise ongoing)

Jack works at a gas station at the edge of a middle-of-nowhere town. Strange things happen at the gas station-- bipedal deer stopping by for a drink, dark gods leaving vague messages, fingers growing from the ground out back, sudden lawn gnome appearances-- All just a part of the daily grind, right?

so if I wanna be totally fair, this is more a rec for Night Vale fans than anything (tho the TMA/WTNV overlap seems to be p significant). the comedic, nonchalant tone taken towards everything supernatural and horrific is p much 1:1 WTNV. I’ve genuinely cried laughing at some of the fuckshit that happens, esp anything involving Jerry. not to say that GST doesn’t have its heavy-horror moments, but the frequency is more comparable to Night Vale’s approach-- dark comedy definitely takes center stage, here. tho this also varies by the POV-- the “Finding Vanessa” arcs are told from the perspective of a more serious character, so the heavy parts are far more frequent and hit a lot harder

as for the time estimate, here’s where it gets a littleee bit complicated. the first version was put out for free, and read for free by MCP (among a few other narrators). this came out in several different parts, and the one video I linked above has compiled *most* of volume 1, but not the Halloween story, featured here. HOWEVER, the author has taken a second go at v1 and beyond, which is currently ongoing and available to buy as books or audiobooks ALSO narrated by MCP!

as for deciding which version to listen to, I’ll just try to describe the differences here. the first version was written entirely via Jack’s online forum posts, which were subject to more direct reader interaction and Jack’s scatterbrain. thus, the first version leaves a LOT more details up to reader interpretation/theorizing, straight up doesn’t have or explain certain plot arcs yet, and is very disorganized in terms of timeline all due to Jack’s canon memory issues. this all, personally, made it v fun and silly to follow, but I’m aware that’s not for everyone. the second version is written from a more standard first person narrative from Jack’s perspective. while Jack’s memory issues still make him an unreliable narrator (often *upsettingly* so in this version), the actual narrative is far more organized, complete, and easy to follow. the fun thing is that the first version can still be considered canon material to the second version, as Jack references making those very forum posts within the second version narrative. so, personally, I consider the second version to be the core cohesive story, while the first version is supplemental, fun material that provides more context for a few of the strange bits that happen in the story (like Jack’s ‘secret admirer’ makes more sense if u’ve listened to the first version). either way, the second version is the only way the story is going to continue (as far as I’m aware), so if you’re ONLY going to listen to one version of the story, listen to the second version

TW: for the first version, there are some uncomfortable jokes/implications at certain points-- associating villains/assholes with fatness and/or personality disorders is unfortunately a running theme, and a few off-color jokes are made abt some of Jack’s conditions (general mental health and his brief use of crutches). there’s also a point at which it’s implied that a specific one-off arc is a ploy to rape Jack, tho nothing actually comes of it beyond awkward scheming (but just in case, that story is specifically “Death at the Gas Station” at the very end of that long compilation, if u wanna skip it). for the second version, I believe the author was made aware of these issues and either straight-up removed or fixed most of them in some way. there’s just one point where an intentionally-questionable character uses the g*psy slur, and a few points where a regular commenter on Jack’s forum posts has w*ndigo in their username

in terms of gore for either one, uhhh maybe some descriptions of injuries? body horror? this one’s a lot harder to call for me, b/c the comedy softens the blow on a lot of the horror

Accounts From a Lonely Broadcast Station (5 hrs, ongoing)

Evelyn is the new voice of a small mountain town’s local radio station. her job is to take calls, play music (ALWAYS play the music), and broadcast emergency warnings whenever the fog rolls in from the surrounding forest. pretty standard stuff. she tries to make the most of it-- if only that damn crow with human eyes would stop watching her...

this one’s similar to Gas Station Tales with its heavy reliance on dark humor, but it takes itself a bit more seriously, with a more even split b/t genuine horror and comedy. also MCP brings in wonderful extra voice talent w/ this one, I RLY love Evelyn's va ;w;

TW: graphic descriptions of mutilation and body horror

My Friend Has Been Living in an Alternate Reality (4 hrs, complete)

op’s eccentric friend, Clint, turns up on op’s doorstep unannounced after several years missing. Clint vanishes again just as abruptly, leaving op with a journal detailing a horrifying, dangerous journey that’s almost too bizarre to believe, yet...

so this one’s more like an action/thriller with horror garnish, tbh-- very exciting and suspenseful! I love the weird, apocalyptic world Clint describes in his journals, and the societies that have cropped up around these hostile circumstances

TW: graphic descriptions of mutilation/injury

My Name is Lily Madwhip (~8 hrs, ongoing)

Lily Madwhip sees things before they happen. they’re usually horrible things like deaths and injuries that she wishes she could prevent but often can’t. at least her best friend-- an angel possessing one of Lily’s dolls-- is around to provide advice

this one’s from the perspective of a little girl, and it leans into dark humor enough to soften at least some of the more traumatic moments. Lily’s young enough that she’s somewhat removed from the full gravity of the deaths around her, but the fact that it’s happening so frequently at all seems to be warping her perspective towards death to be more... casual? is that the right word? it’s just a rly interesting perspective to see for horror. also we’ve got another rly great guest va here for Lily~

TW: brief descriptions of injury, but they’re not graphic. frequent animal death.

The Showers (2.75 hrs, complete)

op recounts a scary story he heard from a teacher back in high school about a vague location and a terrifying encounter. he later ventures to find this location to see the truth for himself, but is it worth it?

this one’s a classic-- I think it was of the first creepypasta I listened to? not this version, but I wouldn’t be able to tell u which narrator it was at the time. I won’t say that this one’s the most unique story out there, but something abt it has always stuck with me?.... idk, I think the premise rly hooks me

TW: oh god it’s been a while, but I don’t remember anything particularly triggering? maybe body horror?

#creepypasta #creepypastas #the magnus archives #tma #shut up ashley #blease give creepypasta a chance I need more horror friends /wretched crying emoji/#also I would've recced 1999 but I JUST found out abt all the controversy over someone reposting and pasting in parts from other stories #I totally understand why op wouldn't want the story narrated anymore shit sucks

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