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babymilkawa · 3 years

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a love that rings

bakugou katsuki, todoroki shoto (for the first half)

gn!reader :)

a soulmate au heavily inspired by the webtoon/kdrama love alarm

word count; 5682

warnings: angst, fluff, like one swear word

There are many things that Todoroki can put on his list of things he appreciates. The first bullet point, no doubt, would be your name in his curved but elongated writing, followed by several skipped spaces and then a list of the names of his friends. Except it doesn’t stop there. Below your name in those skipped lines there is an indented bullet point where little moments or traits of your relationship are written down. Here are a few:

I love it when y/n tells me why they love me

I love it when y/n brushes their lips on my scar

I love it when y/n says my name in their sleepy voice

And it could go on and on. He’s still adding more to it to this day.

Todoroki doesn’t know if you know about this list or if you have one of your own. He likes to know that it’s there, that he can always go back to it when he needs a reminder. And it’s never failed at that. Often times, he finds himself missing you late at night and he’ll just slip the paper out, reading it under the dim glow of his lamp. It’ll bring a fond smile to his face and he’ll be able to fall asleep just like that, counting the days until he gets to see you again.

So he’s never doubted your relationship. He’s always felt a sense of security from you that he didn’t think he could get from anyone. Aside from that, Todoroki felt like life was moving at the right direction for him. He was making progress with his quirk and he landed an internship at an agency away from his father. Todoroki was slowly letting his walls descend.

One day, the two of you joined your usual cafeteria friends for lunch. Iida and Midoriya were talking about the most recent exam and Tsuyu and Uraraka were having their own conversation. But upon sitting down next to them, you couldn’t help but notice that they were both staring intently at their phone screens, giggling and occasionally gasping. Out of curiosity, you scooted closer and asked what had caught their attention.

“Oh, y/n have you heard?” asked Uraraka. “Apparently there was this app called love alarm that used to be trending in the early 2000′s! Now it’s getting popular again, you should really check it out.”

Her attention diverted back to her phone so you decided to see what was so interesting about it instead of asking her yourself. Pulling out your phone, you decided to download the app seeing as you had nothing else to do. Next to you, Todoroki was engaged in the conversation with Iida and Midoriya, nodding along as he put your favorite items from his plate to yours.

While taking bites out of your own lunch, you created a profile for the app, picking a picture that Todoroki had recently taken of you. You were presented with a loading screen and it was just about to be completed when a ringing sound echoed the cafeteria, followed by another in the same pitch.

A blanket fell over the voices in the cafeteria and all heads turned to where the sound came from. Towards the east wall, where all the condiments are kept, two people stood facing each other, halos surrounding their feet.

You were still confused as to what was even happening when Uraraka gasped next to you and whispered, “They rang each other’s love alarm! They’re soulmates!!”

Upon looking closer, you saw that they were students from Class 1-B. Tetsutetsu and Kendo to be exact. The pair of soulmates were glancing at their cellphones and looking up at the other, faces beating a shade of red. Then, one of the cafeteria ladies banged their spatula on a tray and ordered everyone to go back to their own business.

Looking away, you focused your attention back to your phone where your own profile lay with arrows pointing to an empty bubble. Connecting two and two together, you realized that this app told you who your soulmate was. A lightbulb lit in your head and you turned to your boyfriend who was just about finishing up his lunch.

“Shoto! Have you heard? This app tells you who your soulmate is! See, mine is empty right now and I think it’s because you haven’t downloaded it yet.”

You turned your screen towards him and he looked at it intently, mouth still chewing.

“That's..interesting,” he said. “But why do we need an app to tell us that we love each other?”

“I know but Sho, I just want to see if this app is legit. Apparently, it was a thing back then too.”

He seemed to understand your reasoning and frankly, he was curious himself. Pulling out his phone, Todoroki downloaded the app and set up a profile. As the two of you waited for his screen to load, you overheard students from other tables talking about love alarm too.

“My parents said that this brought them together! It must be really accurate, then.”

Upon hearing that, your face lit up. It was true that you and Todoroki didn’t need technology to know that the two of you had nothing but love for each other. You already knew that he was your soulmate and that you were his. But the idea of having something like a man-made app confirm your feelings made you feel a sense of pride. It was the fact that you and Todoroki found each other even without one.

Your boyfriend’s screen finished loading and the two of you leaned your heads together, waiting for a picture of you to pop up in his empty bubble. A line of sparkles circled around it and there you appeared, followed by a burst of confetti on the screen. You gasped and looked at him excitedly, shaking his arm. He smiled at you and looked at your icon on his screen, pride swelling in his own chest. The picture he had chosen for his own profile was one that you took for him. It was on the same day as the picture that he took for you, and arrows linked them together.

Grabbing your own phone, you opened the app and waited eagerly for Todoroki’s picture to show up. You couldn’t wait to hear that same ringing sound you heard earlier and to see those overlapping halos by your feet. Then everyone would see that the two of you were made for each other, not even an app could disagree.

But after staring at it for a good minute, the smile on your face started to droop. The grey bubble on your screen remained empty, even the smile in your profile picture looked a little upset. Todoroki was looking too but he said nothing. Why wasn’t his picture showing up? Was the app just glitching? All the excitement you had felt earlier drained away. Todoroki, sensing your change in mood, took your phone and helped you restart it.

“Maybe a lot of people are using it at the moment, that’s why it’s being a little slow. I’m sure I’ll show up if you check later,” he said, throwing you a soft smile.

You simply nodded and turned back to your forgotten lunch. Around you, the cafeteria was still alive with voices and laughter. Somewhere in the back, another pair of rings echoed around. You picked at your food, not bothering to turn around to see who it was. That could’ve been yours. You and Todoroki could’ve had your own rings and everyone would congratulate the two of you. But instead, shouts of encouragement came from the back, not directed at you.

Everywhere you went, you could hear rings across the halls or people crowding around their screens. It only angered you even further, knowing that your own love alarm was not functioning properly. It had been a few days since the events at the cafeteria and Todoroki’s profile refused to show up on your screen. He tried his best to console you and to let you know that it was just an app. Technology had its own mistakes, too. And you were starting to believe him. Your own friends had pointed out that the terms and conditions stated that it was only proven to be right 95% of the time. So really, it didn’t mean anything if the two of you were not paired as soulmates. It didn’t mean that you loved each other any less. Todoroki suggested that you both deleted the app and you agreed. But a part of you still wanted to wait and see. If Todoroki didn’t show up, would someone else? But you quickly became disgusted with your own train of thought. How would your boyfriend feel if you were his soulmate but he wasn’t yours? He would be just as upset. And if someone else was paired with you? Right, it would break his heart. You had to delete it right away. And you were just about to when a gruff voice called out to you.

Looking up, you saw that it was Bakugou. The two of you would meet in the afternoon sometimes to train while your boyfriend was at his internship. You and Bakugou both had quirks that went well together. You had the ability to slow down time around you, with a proximity of 10 feet. It came with the cost of extreme exhaustion which is why you had to train your reflexes to react quicker, extending your time while holding out your quirk. Even a few minutes or seconds could make a difference in battle. Bakugou himself was able to react quickly to any situation thrown at him so you figured that he was the best trainer in order for you to advance with your quirk.

Forgetting all about your task to delete love alarm, you walked with your training partner and started to warm up.

There was a calm silence between the two of you as you both stretched and warmed up your muscles. Glancing at him, you saw that his face was molded into a stern expression and you wondered if he ever had any other emotion. Then, just as the two of you were getting ready to start, you heard a pair of rings coming from outside Heights Alliance. The sound sparked curiosity in you and you turned to your partner.

“Have you heard of this new app called love alarm? People are becoming obsessed with it.”

He shrugged, “Not interested.”

“Aw, come on. You should give it a try, see who your soulmate is.”

“Like I said, I’m not interested. Now hurry up before it gets dark.”

---

After taking a cold shower and finishing your homework, Todoroki had gotten back from his internship, just about ready to crash from how exhausted he was. Seeing your boyfriend like this made you reach over to ruffle his hair, helping him take his hero costume off.

“Have you eaten yet?” he asked.

You shook your head. “I was going to wait for you.”

“You must be hungry then. You can go without me, I just want to shower real quick.”

“I can wait for you, Sho. It’s no big deal.”

Too tired to argue, Todoroki nodded and went to go shower. As he was in there, you helped clean up his equipment and put his sweaty clothes in the laundry.

Somewhere in between, his phone had slipped out and you picked it up. You were going to set it aside when it lit up, presenting his wallpaper, a picture of the two of you on your most recent date. It made your heart warm and you smiled down at it. That’s right. You didn’t need some man-made program to tell you that Todoroki was right for you. You already knew it in your heart.

But you couldn’t help but wonder if he had deleted the app like he said he would. You realized you had forgotten to do that yourself. Oops. You could do it later. Now, you unlocked his phone, only to see that it was already on the app. So he hadn’t deleted it yet. Looking at the pictures of his gentle face and your happy features, you couldn’t help but feel guilty. Like it was your fault that your alarms didn’t ring. Obviously it wasn’t true but then it didn’t make any sense either. Did you just not have a soulmate? Did the universe decide to leave you alone? Each person should have their own. There was always a pair. Then, you started to doubt your feelings for Todoroki. You knew that you loved him, though. Was it just not enough? You couldn’t shake that feeling of guilt for your boyfriend. He loved you so much, enough for the app to recognize it. Maybe you just had to show it to him more. Yeah, that was it. All you had to do was openly show and tell him how much he meant to you.

Putting his phone to the side, you patiently waited for him to come out of the shower. You decided that now was a great time to start. As soon as he comes out, you would hand him his clothes and listen to him talk about his day. That was nothing different. But you would also make sure that he himself knew you were listening. Maybe throw in a light massage to his aching muscles. And that’s just what you did when he stepped out.

The two of you walked hand in hand to the kitchen of Heights Alliance, sticking your noses up in the air to the smell of good food. As Todoroki was talking next to you, you saw Bakugou enter the hallway and you were about to wave to him when the sound of rings bounced the narrow walls. Looking around, you noticed that there was no one around but the three of you. Heart beating in excitement, you pulled your phone out. Was it finally working? Did you finally ring Todoroki’s alarm? The other two pulled their phones out too and you turned your screen, ready to show your boyfriend his picture below yours when you saw that..he wasn’t there. But there was someone below your picture, alright. Instead, it was the last person you would ever expect. Looking down at your phone, you saw that a picture of Bakugou was connected with arrows to your own. And a series of halos surrounded your feet, linking you with him. And Todoroki was caught in the middle of it.

---

Back in your dorm, you found yourself angry, no, fuming. What kind of sick person would-would create something like this? Todoroki could sense your ignited emotions from across the room and he quickly went over to calm your shaking fists.

“Y/n, look it’s noth-”

“I’m sorry!” You said, looking up at him with glistening eyes. “I-I should’ve deleted it when you told me to b-but I forgot and-”

“Y/n.”

You swallowed, tears threatening to spill out. You tried to read your boyfriend’s expression but your vision blurred and oh god, why couldn’t you have just listened to him then..

“I’m not..angry, y/n. Just confused.”

You sniffed and he wiped away the teardrops leaking at the corners of your eyes.

“I didn’t delete it, either,” he said. “I forgot too. So, it’s not your fault.”

Right. You knew that when you looked at his phone. It wasn’t snooping, the two of you trusted each other and freely looked at the other’s phones often.

“But..” he continued. “I don’t think it would’ve done much of a difference.”

At this, you looked up at him and he nodded. “I did some research and apparently, your alarm won’t turn off just because you deleted the app. Once you download it and set up a profile, there’s no turning back.”

Oh. Oh. So that meant that Bakugou must’ve recently downloaded it. Because when you had asked him about it, he had said he wasn’t interested. Which is why your alarms didn’t ring while you trained. It was because he didn’t even have it then.

But then, the idea of you and your training partner made no sense either. The two of you could barely be even called friends. He would often dismiss any small talk you tried to initiate and only commented about your sparring mistakes. So what made love alarm think that the two of you were for each other?

You thought that it was supposed to bring soulmates together. But all you could feel was a whirl of emotions, anything but love and connectedness. It would bring a wedge between Todoroki and you.

“Y/n,” he said, bringing you out of your head. “I think that this app is..what people say it is. Meaning, I think it’s accurate. After all the researching I did, I didn’t read a single story or review talking about how two people who weren’t meant for each other were put together. I love you y/n..but I don’t want to be the one who holds you back from..Bakugou. If he's the one who'll really make you happy.”

Realizing what he was hinting at, you grabbed at his arms, furiously shaking your head from side to side.

“No! This-this app is bullshit! We can’t believe it! You make me happy, Sho!”

Todoroki slowly detached your gripping hands from his arms. “I just want you to be happy, y/n. And if it’s with him, then I’ll let you go.”

No, he couldn't just leave like that. You made eye contact with him and slowly took in a deep breath, letting your muscles relax.

He immediately realized what you were doing and backed away. "Don't."

But it was the only way to make him stay. By slowing time down around you, you could prevent him from leaving, from stepping out that door and turning away forever.

Todoroki, however, was quick to step out, leaving a distance of more than 10 feet between the two of you.

Heart heavy, you could feel the tears creeping back up so you let yourself exhale. It was no use.

He felt like he was doing the right thing for you, but his heart still filled with pain and regret. Todoroki left your dorm, trying to forget the warmth emanating from your hands just seconds ago.

---

In another dorm, one floor down and several doors away, Bakugou lay with his head in his hands.

Y/n? My soulmate? He didn’t know whether to feel hopeful or pity. Pity would be for the man you loved.

Bakugou had always admired your strength and determination, your beauty. And only recently did he really accept his feelings for you. He was doing a great job at hiding it, too. If the two of you were ever put in the same sentence, the topic would only be about your quirks and training. Nothing more. He made sure to avoid conversation with you, even if a part of him was dying to know your interests, anything outside of your quirk and fighting ability.

But now, this new piece of information left him confused, lost as to what to do next. And he always hated this feeling. The feeling of not being in control of yourself. It meant he was weak, vulnerable to whatever was out to get him. He had to figure out the next steps, quick.

First things first, he would delete the app. Yes, the last thing he wanted was to even hear those rings again, especially if they were coming from him. He was sure Todoroki would hate it too, his own significant other, ringing another person's alarm. Though the blonde and Todoroki never really got along, he couldn't help but feel remorseful.

Bakugou sighed out loud. If only he hadn't downloaded it. After hearing you talk about it before training, his curiosity sparked and Bakugou just wanted to know if he even stood a chance. Of course, his goals of becoming #1 couldn't even compare to his desire for you, at least that's what he told himself. He had long accepted that it was just a crush, no need to think about how he might like the idea of you being with him.

After deleting love alarm clean off his phone, Bakugou pondered about what to do next. Scanning his eyes around his dorm, he carefully thought about what could be done to erase that look of horror from your face earlier. His eyes landed on his gauntlets and he grabbed his phone again. Bakugou would text you, saying that the two of you shouldn't train anymore. Although he couldn't think of anyone better than you as his partner, he had to let it go.

The text was about to be sent when a thought occurred to him. Why was he doing this? Why was he trying to cut ties with you all of a sudden? Did he..care about your relationship with Todoroki? No, that's not it. Even if Todoroki looked so hurt at that moment, there was still something about him that pissed the blonde off. Then what was it? Did his feelings for you grow so strong that he cared about your happiness, even if it was with another man?

Annoyed, Bakugou deleted the text. He could just tell you in person later.

---

Back in your dorm, you found yourself pacing back and forth. When Todoroki left, you didn't know whether to go after him or to let him cool off. He was clearly distressed. Maybe it was just something he said in the heat of the moment, breaking up. Yeah.

Leaving your dorm, you set out to go find him. In the common room, a few of your classmates were gathered around, casually talking in their free time. Todoroki wasn't in the room and you were about to leave when you saw him enter, his bi-colored hair standing out. Your face broke into a smile and a call almost left your lips when a pair of rings broke out, shushing the people in the room. Your smile faded a little as you looked at your phone. Nothing changed, as expected. Bakugou's profile was still there but it wasn't yours that rang.

"Momo!"

You looked up. Mina's figure was hovering over the said classmate who was seated on the couch. Sure enough, a small halo surrounded her feet, followed by more increasing in size. Peering over her shoulder, you saw who her soulmate was and your heart shattered. Your breath left your lungs and your throat closed up. All you wanted was to just get out of there. You didn't even want to see where the other set of rings lay, you knew they were there.

After you left, Todoroki found himself staring at the spot where you stood. His eyes were on you when it happened. He didn't have to check to know that Momo's rings were connected to his.

Right after he left your dorm, Todoroki received a notification from love alarm.

Todoroki Shoto, a shield has been gifted to you.

A love alarm shield: your soulmate will be blocked, replacing them will be the second choice.

You can request for a spear anytime after the transaction and all effects from the shield will be erased.

Would you like to use it?

He did it for you, so you could be happy with your soulmate.

And there in the common room, on his screen, was Momo's picture.

---

The next afternoon, Bakugou walked up to you and asked if you still wanted to train together. In your eyes, he could see that you had gotten no sleep, mind still foggy from last night's events.

You answered him with a meek "yes," hoping that sparring with him would wake you up and help you recharge.

After seeing your ex-boyfriend's face on another person's phone, you decided that it was right to let him go. You understood then, how he felt. If Momo and Todoroki were really meant for each other, you couldn't get in the way. You wanted him to be happy too.

Beside you, Bakugou was silent as usual, hands stuffed in his pockets. But you knew that things were different. You were each other's soulmate but you felt like you were close to him as much as you were close to Tokoyami, whom you've never even talked to.

You just felt so lonely. Last night was the first night in months where you slept alone, without the security of Todoroki's embrace. And it didn't feel like that was going to change anytime soon. Bakugou was never one for small talk so it was a waste of time to even try to become closer to him.

The blonde himself was contemplating on whether he should strike up a conversation or not. The reason why he always closed himself off to you was because he knew that if he really opened up, you would be able to see every crack and flaw and he would be left vulnerable.

Still, Bakugou couldn't help but think of the app as some kind of calling to him. He felt like he had to give it a try at least.

Turning to you, Bakugou saw that you were patting your pockets, a slight frown creasing your forehead.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"I think I forgot my phone. Sorry, I'll be right back," you said, running towards the direction you came from.

Bakugou let out a sigh. Good, I didn't even know what I was going to say.

He decided to wait at the same spot instead of continuing the path to the field. It wouldn't take you long anyways, Heights Alliance was just in his view.

And only 5 minutes passed when he saw your figure come out of the dorms, jogging to catch up with him.

Then it happened again. A burst of halos surrounded you and looking down at his own feet, Bakugou saw that it was happening to him too.

You froze in place. Dammit, now?! As if things weren't awkward enough between us.

But 5 feet across from you, Bakugou was confused. He had deleted the app, didn't he? Why was it still linking the two of you together?

Slowly, you approached him and said, "Sorry, I know that's going to be annoying. You can't really turn it off."

"What?" You can't? That made no sense.

"Yeah," you continued. "Even if you delete the app, it'll still ring. Once you create a profile, you can't turn back."

That..sucked. And why were you apologizing? Bakugou thought. None of this was your fault.

"Well I guess you're stuck with me then," you joked.

Bakugou looked at you. "You're no bother."

He looked away but still noticed the surprise on your face.

"Really? I mean, training isn't too bad with you. I think we've both improved a lot."

Right. Training. He didn't care about your quirk or how compatible it was with his. He already knew all that. He wanted to know who you were. Your favorite food, hobby, cafe. And now was the best time, he felt.

And so as you trained, Bakugou let himself open up and he welcomed your attempts of small talk, listening intently to every word you said. Conversation flowed naturally out of the two of you and you wondered why it was never like this. Bakugou was someone who was so easy to talk to, even if it didn't seem like it. He probably just took some time warming up.

Over the next hour, Bakugou was able to learn more about you as a person. He felt like he was finally meeting you for the first time. It made him wonder too, why it took him so long to let you in. And to think that all he needed was a push from some app.

A half an hour had passed and training was going well. You were both drenched with sweat but adrenaline rushed through you and you eagerly welcomed it. It was times like this that made you energized. You could forget about every worry you had and focus on the moment, on the fire coursing through your veins.

You dodged a blast directed at you and almost froze it in time when you felt a kick to the back of your knees. What? How'd he get behind me so fast? Your legs gave out underneath you but a pair of strong arms were able to catch you before you met the ground.

Looking up, you made contact with a pair of red eyes staring down at you. He was close, very close. And only now did you notice how handsome the man in front of you was. His jawline was sharp and his nose had a perfect slant. He even had a few tiny freckles that spotted his cheeks. And..a small tint of pink.

Bakugou raised you upright and you both turned away. No doubt, your own face was rising with color.

Holding out a hand, Bakugou helped you get up and you were, once again, in very close proximity with the blonde. This time, you didn't look away. Instead, both your heads leaned in close until your lips touched and it felt..right. The kiss was short and left you wanting more. Bakugou had soft lips and he was surprisingly a good kisser.

For a second there, neither of you looked away. Your hand was still in his and your chests were almost touching. Then, as if realizing what just happened, you separated quickly. Bakugou cleared his throat and decided to call it a day. You nodded, suddenly feeling tired.

It didn't take long for the two of you to crave the other's lips, however. You found yourself in front of his door, asking him to tutor you before the next test. He would then make you dinner after a rough session, even if he was tired himself.

It soon led to lunch in the cafeteria together and hanging out with his friends. One day, he officially asked you out. You agreed, of course, and just like that, the hole that a certain someone had opened inside you was completed.

---

It’s been 2 years and you’re gathered around, taking your memorable graduation pictures. Bakugou’s got an arm around you and you’re both holding a bouquet of flowers his parents gave. The sun beating above you is burning through your black cloaks, making you look forward to that cold drink, sitting patiently at your favorite cafe with beads of water dripping down its shaft.

Looking across the parking lot, you can see other families and your fellow classmates crowding together for a picture to be framed, bright faces smiling behind a glass.

Todoroki holds his diploma tight and places a hand on top of his cap, not wanting the wind to blow away his hard work, his time in U.A., his memories. And looking back at the building behind him, he could feel all of them flooding back. Some were good, some were..best not to mention.

His phone buzzes in his pocket and Todoroki pulls it out. Speak of the devil. There was a message from love alarm.

Todoroki Shoto, a spear has been gifted to you.

A love alarm spear: all effects from the shield previously gifted will be erased.

You may not request for a shield after this transaction.

Would you like to use it?

Fingers hovering over the screen, Todoroki ponders. He's in a relationship with Momo. Would using this break them apart? He had asked her out without thinking one day and they had started from there. It took time, but they worked well on the field, quirks and minds blending together.

He doesn't regret asking her out, they have their good times. But he thinks about his future and if he really sees her in them. Yes, of course she'll be there. To say the truth, Todoroki just wants nothing to do with this app anymore. It gave him a new start and he'll end it at that.

Tapping the red letters on his screen, Todoroki tucks his phone away to lean in close to his girlfriend, smiling for yet another picture.

Hand in hand, you and Bakugou head towards his car, where Congratulations! has been written across the back window with marker. Flowers and their petals litter the exterior of the car as if the two of you had just gotten married.

Placing your bouquets and diplomas safely in the backseat, he drives you away, rolling down the windows as the two of you yell out your goodbyes to your classmates, promising to meet soon.

The air is nice and the wind blowing from the fully opened windows whips back your hair and kisses your face. Out on the sidewalks, people are biking around, enjoying the weather on this lovely day. It makes you smile, how content you are at the moment. You have your boyfriend next to you, a cold drink patiently waiting, and a bright future ahead of you.

Bakugou glances at you and upon seeing your smile, he spreads one himself.

There are many things that Bakugou can put on his list of things he appreciates. The first bullet point, no doubt, would be your name in his scratchy but still readable writing, followed by several skipped spaces and then a list of the names of his friends. Except it doesn’t stop there. Below your name in those skipped lines there is an indented bullet point where little moments or traits of your relationship are written down. Here are a few:

Y/n, I love them and I love that they remind me that they love me back

Y/n, I love them and I love that they support my goals

Y/n, I love them and I love that they are strong and independent

And it could go on and on. He’s still adding more to it to this day.

a/n: wow I'm like proud of this but the romance is where??

bnha masterlist

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umaruwastaken · 3 years

Text

I wont leave you, I'm sorry. [short fluff & angst]

: hi, I'm Umaru! im very new to Tumblr and still don't know my way around the app, im pretty sure im missing something with the editing so if you have tips please do tell me :], enjoy!

Synopsis; Clay had announced his relationship with his partner,it was well until you received severe hate, clay was keeping in the anger and accidentally let it out on you.

!!TW!!:Shouting, cursing, panic attack.

↱💚Dream💚↰

→ You tucked your hair out of your face, staring intently in the ceiling... this week isn't the best week for you and your boyfriend.

everything started when he had told his fans about you and you guys' relationship, some were happy and supportive while others didn't take it too well, they were raging... you had received hate and death threats, you tried to remain calm and ignore it convincing yourself that they will forget about it in the next few weeks, but to your dismay, things have been worse, not just with clay's fans but with you two as well.

In the first weeks of getting severe hate, he was there and ready to shower you with comfort and affection, but he suddenly got too busy which makes you feel lonely, but of course you didn't wanna intrude with his career so you let him be, constantly trying to keep the relationship going through a lot of fights have occurred, it started getting worse where you won't even talk to each other without arguing... it was frustrating, but now you had decided that you wanna talk things out with him and fix the mess you both had created.

You're currently waiting in your room, clay's still streaming and have been extremely loud, you missed your chill days with him where you'd just cuddle and whisper soothing words to each other's ear but you haven't talked for the past days and if you do it'll just end up to an argument, You stood up from your bed figuring that he would end stream soon, so you decided to wait in the living room.

_------_------_

After a solid two hours, you had grown impatient, he hadn't left his room though you well know that he had ended his stream since you were watching it...

you sighed finally having the courage to scurry to his room with slight disappointment written on your face...

you had started making dinner and finished.

you knocked three times, waiting expectantly for an answer and receiving none... you knocked again and voiced out this time.

"Clay, dinner's ready," you mutter having hopes that he will answer this time.

sighing once again, you opened the door to see him faced in front of his setup, talking to his friends... he looked over your way with no expression.

"what?" he asked, coming out a little bit too rude for your liking despite waiting for him for 2 hours straight, you decided to be kind and not match his temper for today.

"dinner's ready" you softly mumbled at him.

he turned back to his computer "you go eat, ill come down later." he said before unmuting his mic to talk with sapnap and George once more.

"But, it's been hours and you haven't turned that pc off, you need to eat." he clearly heard your complaint but still chose to ignore you.

"Are you seriously going to ignore me, clay? come on, just this time eat with me," you whined.

"[name], just go... I said ill go down later, eat first." that was his response to your whine, your frown grew deeper as your patience starting to wear off.

"clay! just turn that off and eat."

"I said ill be eating later, go now," he said with a slight hint of annoyance, you can tell that he was running out of patience too... you were too exhausted and just wanted the hugs your boyfriend used to give you, but that computer was your rival, A COMPUTER.

"No, clay, your eyes need to re-"

"can you just shut the f*ck up and go eat for God's sake??! how many times do I have to tell you??! [name] stop being a brat and leave me the f*ck alone!!!"

At this point, you were holding back tears, you were very sensitive with yelling, you had heard something from his pc.

"what the fuck dream?" you heard a familiar voice, which was George.

you sniffled and tried to hold back tears as you wiped those who escaped. "ok... ill go, I'm sorry" you said quietly, taking your leave from his room, as soon as he was out of sight, you sprinted to your room and cried... you tried holding your mouth hoping for the sobs to not be as loud... the voices in your head started speaking.

'he hates you now'

'he'll leave like everyone'

'you were too annoying and clingy'

'he doesn't love you anymore'

'he's tired of you, brat'

she tried stopping them by pulling her hair, starting to have a panic attack.

_________

On the other hand, dream stood in his room functioning what had just happened, you two fought but none ever raised voices nor insulted you like that... he was shocked and shaking as tears threatened to fall from his eyes still hearing his friends nagging.

they had heard everything.

his body trembled thinking that you probably hate him now.

without thinking twice he left the call with nick and George before running out of his room towards yours.

he tried to twist the knob of course its locked, he knocked.

"[name]? baby? please let me in, I'm sorry, I meant nothing of those words! baby? open the door, love... [name] I'm sorry! open the door"

he stopped mid-way hearing her muffled sobs and whimpers.

he started to panic, he went away and grabbed his spare key to your room and frantically opened the door to see you silently crying on the ground, hugging your knees.

he knew how you reacted when a person yells at you, he knew damn well that you were sensitive yet he had failed to take care of you, his mind was full of regret.

tears started falling from his eyes, seeing how much he had hurt you, he was frustrated about the hate and the constant blackmails about being doxxed and shit.

He quickly went towards you and hugged you, he picked you up and sat on the bed with you on his lap.

"Baby, I'm so sorry!" he hugged you tighter rubbing circles on your back.

"I'm a jerk, [name] I'm sorry" he continued kissing the top of your head and held your face to try and face you.

he had seen your face that was stained with tears with a hurtful expression on your face.

"I hate you" you mumbled "I just wanted you to eat, that all" she cried

"I know, I'm sorry baby, I was just stressed... I was frustrated that the hate will make you leave me I'm so sorry!" he explained kissing your forehead, and wiping the tears off your face.

he rested your head on his chest whispering sorry all over and over again, you had stopped the tears and now you have a runny nose

"ill never do that again, [name], I love you... we'll face the haters and continue loving each other, ok? I'm still very sorry, so to make it up to you, we'll spend two days, cuddling! just us, I promise"

he said laying the two of you on your bed. he caressed your cheeks and kissed your nose before moving towards your lips.

"I love you, I love you, I love you" he muttered all over and over kissing every part of your face.

he sighed contently taking a mental note

'must not shout at baby, must protect baby'

#dream smp #myct imagines #dsmp #dream x reader #dream x oc #myct dream #georgenotfound #badboyhalo #dreamwastaken #fanfic #dsmp fanfic #angst #fluff #dream smp imagines #myct fanfiction

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guardianofrivendell · 3 years

Text

Reckless

Meludir x gender neutral reader

Requested: Yes! Anon asked: “Hello, can i please get a oneshot between meludir and reader where reader is injured from an orc attack and meludir is looking after them?”

Warnings: I tried to write something fluffy, I really did, just a normal fluffy kind of oneshot but the force of sarcasm and sass is too strong!

A/N: I didn’t know Meludir that well, and there isn’t much information about him besides that he’s from the Mirkwood guard, so I just went with my own interpretation of his character. This was also a request that was long overdue (by now all of my requests fall into that category, I AM SO SORRY).

“I can’t believe we’ve waited so long,” Meludir chuckled, gently wiping the hair out of your face.

You were both relaxing together at the edge of the forest, right at the other side of the bridge where the trees stopped and the palace grounds began. It was one of the more quieter spots in the kingdom, away from all the hustling and bustling of the palace, but still close enough so you would notice if something was wrong. Your sense of duty as a member of the Mirkwood Guard was never far away, even if you had some time off.

Meludir was sitting with his back against a tree, your head resting in his lap, your eyes closed. One of his hands was intertwined with yours and the other one was now lazily going through your hair. For a moment it felt like it was just the two of you, and time stood still.

“Maybe we were a little too blind to see what was right in front of us,” you said in response, and brought the hand that was going through your hair to your lips to kiss it, marveling at the softness of his skin. “But I’m glad our eyes finally opened, Meludir. I don’t think I could have gone another day dancing around each other, meleth nin.”

Meludir hummed softly and placed a kiss on your forehead. “I could not agree more. Gi melin, mîr nin. An uin.” (I love you, my treasure, forever)

He then started singing to you, his voice soothing and barely above a whisper. You focused on the caresses of his thumb on your hand, and when his fingers started gently scratching your scalp, you felt yourself slowly slipping away.

“Sleep, meleth nin. Sleep, my one true star.”

The high-pitched scratching of a chair dragging across the floor pulled you out of your more than pleasant dream.

You desperately tried to focus on the last images which were still lingering in your mind but alas, the loving words sung by Meludir were slowly replaced with the soft thumping of a massive headache and your head was no longer resting on his comfortable lap but on a fluffy pillow instead. Which was also nice but, you know, not the same.

Someone took your hand in theirs, followed by a soft squeeze. No, no, no, you weren’t ready to wake up yet! You weren’t done with that dream! Who needed the cruel reality where your best friend was just that, your best friend - with the emphasis on friend - while in your dreams he was your intended? So hello dreamworld it was!

You tried to turn on your side so you could try and go back to sleep, but as soon as your right leg shifted just the tiniest bit, a shot of pain went through it, setting it on fire and making your body go rigid.

Okay, so moving was a big no no. What happened to you?

You inhaled a little deeper to try and breathe through the pain, when the scent of herbs and starched linen filled your nose. Wait a minute... The pain in your leg, the smell of herbs and linen… This was not your own comfortable bed you were lying in!

You were in the healing wing!

Okay… Maybe you should open your eyes and check? Just to be sure?

But you were rather comfortable if you were being honest - if you didn’t count the slight throbbing in your head and your leg that was still hurting - and as long as your eyes remained closed, you didn’t have to deal with the aftermath of whatever happened to you.

Better make the most of it and try and sleep some more!

But alas… there was no rest for you when flashes of what had happened shot through your head, making you forget about the pain for a moment.

You had been on a patrol through the deeper parts of the forest with your friend Meludir and a few other guards when you’d stumbled across a couple of spiders. Despite being far outnumbered by the vile creatures, you came out victorious, but you couldn’t prevent some of the less experienced guards from getting hurt. While you were taking care of their injuries, Meludir had spotted an orc pack in the distance.

So of course you had to go after them… By yourself, leaving a very upset Meludir with the wounded. You’d deal with him afterwards. He will come around eventually, he always did. That’s why you were such good friends.

You were all about impulsive decisions. It’s what made you join the Mirkwood Guard in the first place and usually that turned out for the best. This time? Hmm… not so much.

You were caught off guard during the fight and suffered a stab wound in your leg because of it, there were simply too many Orcs for you to face alone. Oh you could almost hear Meludir’s ‘I told you so’! While you were distracted trying to get the dagger out of your thigh as soon as possible - afraid it was poisoned - one of the remaining Orcs saw its chance and charged at you. Your reflexes were too slow and you failed to deflect the hilt of his sword. That’s when the lights went out.

“Y/N?”

Another squeeze in your hand.

Seriously, how impatient can someone get? You were sleeping! Or trying to, your leg was still hurting after all. Didn’t they teach them how rude it was to wake a sleeping, injured person? Not good for the healing process!

But the sounds surrounding you were getting louder, reverberating against the insides of your skull and making your head throb even worse. Guess that blow to your head actually did do some damage there. Better keep those eyes closed for a while longer, you thought.

But you were also curious, and you couldn’t help trying to concentrate on the sounds closest to you. You could hear a voice talking softly to themselves, it sounded oddly familiar, it had sung to you in your dream not ten minutes ago. Meludir…

You suddenly remembered who exactly you were dreaming of a few moments ago. Oh Eru, you didn’t talk in your sleep right?!

“I know you’re awake, Y/N.”

Yeah, that was Meludir alright. You could almost hear the smirk coming through his voice. The hand covering yours was probably his too.

Oh, he was not going to like this. He’s probably worried sick, or angry. Or both. Either way, you were in trouble.

You opened your eyes a little to take a small peek. If there was even the slightest hint of anger on his face, you were going to pretend to be asleep for a little while longer.

Meludir seemed relaxed at first sight, his elbows were resting on his knees, his hands holding onto your left one. He was still wearing his uniform, covered with blood stains from the encounter with the spiders, and you noticed some black Orc blood as well. But he was unharmed, thank the Valar.

His dark eyes were already staring at you as soon as your eyes met his, boring into yours with such an intensity that you couldn’t help but look away in shame... Busted.

“I can’t hide anything from you, can I?” you tried to joke, trying to assess his current mood. He looked like he was relieved to see you awake. This might not be so bad after all.

Oh how naive could you be...

“Now that you’ve finally opened your eyes...” he began.

The relief that was etched on his face slowly turned into anger. Uh-oh.

“What were you thinking, Y/N?!” he whisper-shouted, smacking your arm.

“Hey hey, no assaulting the injured!” you protested, grasping your arm.

“Your arm is fine! Wish I could say the same about your leg and your head,” he huffed.

You rolled your eyes and let go of your arm.

“Both are still attached to my body so clearly you are overreacting, Meludir!”

“I am overreacting? Who exactly went after an entire Orc pack by themselves?! You! And without even telling me, you just ran off!” he ranted, seeming to forget he was in the healing wing. “You could’ve died, Y/N!”

“But I didn’t,” you countered.

Meludir rushed to stand, his swift movement unbalancing the chair.

“But you could have! I could have lost you!” he snapped, his hands going through his dark hair in frustration.

You didn’t know if he said that last sentence to himself or not, but this was the first time you saw him in such a state and you didn’t know what to think of it.

You hated it when Meludir was angry at you. He just had to get it all off his chest, you knew that, but that didn’t mean you liked it when he yelled at you.

One of the healers nearby reprimanded him for raising his voice, and that seemed to calm the Mirkwood Elf a little. He looked at you apologetically.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you, I was just- Never mind…” He took a seat on your bed this time, carefully as to not hurt your leg. “Tell me, how are you feeling?” he asked, taking a deep breath.

Oh. Okay, we finally have worried Meludir. That’s a good thing. You could work with him.

“Killer headache and as long as I lie still, I should be fine. I’ll be back up in no time.”

“You had me- and us, you had us worried there, Y/N.”

Meludir’s hand wrapped around yours again. Weird, since when did you guys start to hold hands this much?

“Awww, you were worried about me?” you teased him, trying to ignore the strange feeling in your stomach when you looked at your joined hands.

“Y/N, I found you unconscious and bleeding on the ground with Orcs leaning over you. Of course I was worried!” he raised his voice, his eyes wide in concern. “You were out for several hours!”

After a few seconds Meludir let go of your hand and sighed.

You finally got a good look at him and you noticed his hair was messy, some strands sticking to the side of his head. He looked tired, you didn’t think you ever saw him tired before. He was a complete mess. Very unlike him.

The poor Elf had probably been at your side the whole time. Guilt started settling in your stomach.

“I’m sorry I made you worried,” you apologised, “I’ll be more careful next time.”

Meludir chuckled. “Yeah, we both know that’s not going to happen.”

You lifted your head a little to look around, and you were surprised to see the other beds empty. Where were the other guards?

“How are the others?”

“Some scratches and minor injuries, a few spider bites. Nothing the healers couldn’t fix. You were worse off than them,” he smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes.

You let your head drop back into the pillow dramatically, relieved to hear the others were fine. But something still bothered you.

You rolled your head to the side to look at him and pointed at his chest.

“Why is there Orc blood on your uniform?”

“Well, someone had to finish what you started.”

Is that a smirk you saw? The cheeky bastard!

“Oh, just you wait until I get back on my feet, I’ll happily remind you who’s the better fighter,” you challenged him.

“That’ll take some time, the healers said you can go to your own chambers once you wake up, but…”

He didn’t finish his sentence, instead looking at you in apprehension.

“What? What’s with the dramatic pause?”

“You have to stay off guard duty for at least two weeks. Orders from the healers and King Thranduil.”

“What?” you gasped, and you winced when you sat up a little too fast and careless, hurting your leg in the process. Your hand flew towards your thigh and you saw Meludir’s hands doing the same.

“Don’t hurt the messenger! Or yourself!” he joked, but you didn’t miss the slight hint of fear and worry in his eyes. Good.

“Meludir,” you whined, dragging out his name, “you don’t understand! I’ll die out of boredom!”

“Your wound needs healing, Y/N. You cannot use your leg and you need your rest.”

He grabbed your hand and traced your knuckles with his thumb.

“And in the meantime I’ll be there to take care of you.”

Oh. Oh.

Well in that case...

He squeezed your hand again, and smiled at you. It lit up his entire face, and you couldn’t help but mimic his expression. Maybe with him as your private nurse it wouldn’t be so bad after all. The prospect of being carried around by Meludir all the time made it all seem almost enjoyable.

“But before I carry you to your chambers, I need you to explain something to me first, if you don’t mind?”

“Of course, what is it?”

The corner of his lip twitched and his entire demeanour changed.

“Why did you call me ‘meleth nin’ in your sleep?”

Permanent taglist: @roosliefje @kata1803 @entishramblings @artsywaterlily @sleepy-daydream-in-a-rose @marvelschriss @kumqu4t @myrin1234 @dark-angel-is-back @the-fandoms-georgie @lathalea @xxbyimm @sokkasdarling @katethewriter @aredhel-of-gondolin @leethology @elvish-sky @moony-artnstuff @kirenia15 @hey-its-nonny @moarfandomtrash @beenovel

#Meludir x reader #Meludir x gender neutral reader #Meludir #The Hobbit #The Hobbit Oneshot #The Hobbit fanfiction #The Hobbit Imagine #Meludir Oneshot #Meludir Imagine #Mirkwood #Mirkwood Guard #Mirkwood Elf

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imfiguringitoutlovely · 3 years

Text

gang orca and your healing

pairing: gang orca x adopted!reader (he/him)

genre: comfort fic

warnings: domestic abuse, child abuse, anxiety, dissociation, ptsd (nightmares), and depression

author's notes: if im gonna be honest right now, im probably in the worst place mentally than I've been in a long time. but id be lying if i said this acc hasn't been saving me these past couple months. im sorry for how fuckin heavy this one is but i need to escape a little bit again. so. yeah uh. love y'all stay safe. like in others, do not read if you feel you're not in the right place mentally. 💛

Seriously. It's better at the end, but it's also written in first pov, so please please do not read unless you feel okay to.

hurt. hurt all over; in my chest, tight and consuming; aching and numbing up my hands that fail to stay steady while i stare dead at the ceiling; paralyzing my legs with this fear that no amount of adrenaline could help me run from. but mostly in my head, crashing around in my skull with every beat of my heart while my thoughts go from overwhelming fast to heart-stoppingly silent.

my ears have tried to block out all the noise with a disgusting ringing that only creates a thin filter at best. the words still go in, still process, but their usual blood-rushing ability has fallen second to my current realizations.

this could be it. they're fighting, bad, and there's nothing i can do to stop it from getting worse. i can tell the yelling is only the beginning for now, and that very soon, i could be choking on my last words.

i close my eyes. i allow myself the chance to get a full, fresh breath of air in. if this is it, im not going to go out fighting it. im not going to give another reason to pity me in passing. im tired of acting as if im not exhausted.

as the air reaches my lungs, my chest begins to relax. yet, despite my best efforts, the thrown furniture outside my door causes it to tighten again.

stunned, my breath gets caught, hard, and i begin to choke. i try coughing it out, but exhaling suddenly seems like an impossible task. the filters give and everything is happening at full force for the last time.

this is it. this is it. no, no. it's not supposed to be this way, i can't just-!

im surprised to wake up to screaming. it's loud, piercing, and it sounds like someone is being stabbed to death. i don't know where i am, who's room this is, or why everything feels different. i don't know if im dead, or if im still dying, slowly, and it's not until the room's door is forced open that i realize the screaming in my own.

my throat feels raw, and i am suddenly aware of how uncomfortably sweaty i am, and how hard it is to breathe while im crying like this. i'm still confused, though, and it takes several moments of groggy and quiet coaxing to come to. i still can't stop crying, though, and my chest feels tight. the screaming is done, though.

once i come to more - the tears beginning to slow as my panic becomes shame - i realize it's sensei aizawa who had come in. he's making me breathe with him, but from the way he isn't trying to ground my senses yet, it's clear that he understands he's dealing with the remains of my panic. the rest has been drawn back in as my eyes begin to go distant. dad probably told him about the importance of my calming down before focusing on complete presence.

in the process of depersonalization, i missed the fact that sensei stopped talking about a minute ago. now another voice was reaching to me, but this one managed to pull me back in.

"[Name]. this is kugo." i obviously don't call him kugo, but using it here helps way more than "dad". "aizawa," is all he has to say, and pretty soon sensei is walking out to give us some privacy. im pretty sure i hear someone getting caught and dragged away for being a snoop, but im too drawn in from the warmth in dad's voice to bother caring then.

"[Name]," he repeats. "you don't need to turn the camera on, but mine is on." i look down at the screen and realize i can see him. he looks tired, but he's not in bed or in pajamas. im too lost right now to lecture him. he's there. looking at me because i'm alive. and i'm in my dorm room here at UA and i'm talking to him, my dad, on my sensei's phone. "would you like to do some breathing exercises?"

i didn't respond at first, so he repeated it again. he wasn't angry. he was firm, sure of his words, but he wasn't yelling or raising his voice. it wasn't low, either. it was at the perfect volume to keep me tethered to some semblance of reality.

i shook my head. "would you like to use the spare mattress?" he had to make these suggestions for me. it wasn't that i couldn't make decisions for myself, but it was much easier for him to guide me through this. and the spare mstress is a pull out from the bed i was on that he got for me when he realized my tendency to fall asleep on the couch or floor after s nightmare. i decided that being a little closer to the ground and out of the nightmare mattress would be nice, so i nodded and stood.

i pulled the mattress out before i grabbed the phone again. i got my pillow before laying down. i didn't really want a blanket then. "would you like me to stay?" i put the phone on my chest and looked up at the ceiling. i was already starting to feel a bit more connected, though i knew it'd take much longer until i was back to my complete self.

"mhm," is all i could croak out, but it was met with clear affirmation that he'd heard me. this wasn't the first time this had happened.

nightmares were easy to miss when i'd stay up for hours to listen for anything that could be of risk; another bottle opening, another passive aggressive comment, another heavy pair of footsteps walking towards another tornado of a situation. now, though, that there was peace, i had the chance to sleep long enough to relive the hell.

so no, it wasn't a first and it wouldn't be a last. the guilt started rising to slap me hard into a mania-driven reality, but dad seemed to read my mind.

"you became aware a lot faster. that's a really good sign. you're doing great, son." it was all i needed to be able to close my eyes and not see that room again instantly. "tomorrow is wednesday, so i'll be there to see you after your classes and we can discuss what to take away from this. for now, i will stay on the line so you can rest again." i almost forgot that he was going to help organizing some things for internships, which meant getting to eat dinner with him, something he asked about a week prior.

see, he was the father who did all the research, spoke to all the specialists, and asked all the questions so he could be the best father possible. and when i did my work study with him, he may have become aware of my home life. he may have also done extensive research on how he could help, but after a couple months of staying in touch with me to ensure my safety, he decided to take matters into his own hands (after a lengthy conversation with me, of course.)

all this to say he knew about boundaries. he knew it wouldn't be easy to take in a teenage son whose life had been rooted in pain and neglect. but he was willing to do his fucking best. and so anything deemed a sign of affection or in relation to accepting him as my parent was off the table until i made it clear it was ok. we were moving forward on my terms.

he really was the best.

"i love you, dad." it came out monotonous, missing the warmth i intended to return, but they were still big words. they still hung in the air as i started drifting in and out of sleep, subconsciously fighting it off.

"i love you, too, [Name]."

#kugo sakamata #x male reader #xmale!readerblog #son!reader #literally just gang orca im sorry i love him so fuckin much #gang orca #mha #father #adoption #comfort #read with me lovelies

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gyusbambi · 3 years

Text

humph; han seojun (pt 5)

click here for humph masterlist!

story: frenemies to enemies to lovers, high school au

synopsis: seojun and you have known each other since kindergarten. you’re neighbors and even attended the same singing and piano classes. despite knowing each other for such a long time, you don’t enjoy spending time with seojun. even though you are aware of his unfairness, you keep spending time with him. when will you finally leave your childhood frenemy?

note: this is the last part of the series! i’m thankful for everyone who liked, commented and shared this fanfiction it really means a lot to me! through this series i gained many followers, i never imagined that this would get so many likes! again, hope you enjoy the last part and stay tuned for many other fictions hehe. humph! is a story inspired by pentagon’s “humph! / 접근금지”. originally, this is a seungyeon fanfiction, which i posted on my wattpad. words: ~4k

words cannot describe your current feelings. all you can say is that everything feels unreal and odd. indeed, you’re no longer able to focus on your work. all because of that night. all because of stupidly drunk han seojun.

why did you have to pick him up? why didn’t you just call someone else? thanks to his actions, you feel emotionally confused. not to mention, you are frightened to go to school.

can you imagine how awkward it’s going to be if seojun remembers the night? without doubt, your heart would get broken because you just know he’s going to apologize for kissing you. he’ll tell you it happened because he was drunk and definitely not because he feels anything for you.

memories from that night fill your head and it’s the only thing you can think of for the rest of the weekend.

not until your mother forces you to visit the han’s with her. no wonder you refuse to go, han seojun kissed you! of course, neither your mother nor your brother understand your panicked actions when you drop on your knees, hiding your face in your palms dramatically. both of them end up dragging you to the han’s, ignoring your annoying whines.

seojun’s mum greets you with excitement when you eventually arrive at their front door. stepping in with your trembling body, you look around in paranoia, checking if seojun’s home. while doing so, you fail to notice juyeong giving you a side glance with narrowed eyes.

you: chorong please pick me up from seojun’s house

quickly you type your friend a text message before entering the living room, where gowoon waves at you happily.

kim chorong: you’re at seojun’s?!

kim chorong: can i guess what you’re doing ;)

your phone rings two times in a row, making all eyes land on you. laughing it off, you put your phone on mute before typing chorong a reply.

you: ew no please just save me from here okay?

the conversation between the mums continue and suddenly your brother asks if seojun is home. gowoon replies that he probably got out of the shower just now, which puts you in a panicked situation.

i need to get outta here

but like always, the universes loves playing with you right on time because the next thing you see is seojun walking out of his room, dressed in jeans and a hoodie, hand ruffling his wet hair. trying your best not to make eye contact, your gaze darts around the whole room.

after greeting your mother and juyeong, seojun’s eyes land on your awkward figure. no longer able to avoid his gaze, you look right back at seojun, cheeks turning into a red color. you can’t do anything but blink since you’re extremely nervous. if he does remember everything from that night, you want to get swallowed by the floor beneath you. if he doesn’t, you certainly will try your best to remain calm and unsuspicious.

“do you have a moment?”, without waiting for too long seojun grabs your wrist after putting the towel away.

“f-for what?” you manage to speak as your panicked posture suddenly stiffens.

“science project.”, the boy comes up with an average excuse while trying to ignore the surprised looks everyone is giving him as he practically drags you to his own room.

what if he knows?!

from all the heart racing, you’re sure that you’ll end up in the hospital one day. it technically pounds heavily in your chest when you’re head is going through every possible answer you could give seojun when he asks you about the kiss.

after pulling you into his room, seojun closes the door behind you before pushing your body against it. in only seconds, his palm presses against it, right next to your face. it reminds you of the time when he questioned you about his motorcycle keys in the hallways. thankfully, his face isn’t as close as back then. you’re pretty sure, you would’ve fainted by now.

“so what about the science project, haha?” words finally leave your mouth when you realize seojun isn’t going to say anything but stare at your flustered face.

“about that...”, seojun mutters in a quiet tone as he leans in slowly. the only thing you can do is avoid his gaze while gulping, thinking that he probably remembers the kiss. yet, when he doesn’t stop getting closer, lips almost touching yours, you push him away in a swift move, eyes wide in shock,

“what the hell!”

han seojun doesn’t seem surprised. he only scratches his neck, eyes darting around his room before finally landing on your panicked figure,

“i had to do an experiment.”

“w-what experiment? are you kidding me?”

more confused than ever, you question with a flushed face. however, seojun sighs to reveal his exhaustiveness, hands hiding his face before rubbing his brow to ward off his headache,

“i- something happened friday night and i can’t stop thinking about it.”

acting like you don’t know what happened, you continue to look at him with confusion.

“i drank a little bit too much and can’t really remember anything except for one detail- but apparently someone came to pick me up and brought me home. i asked the worker who it was and he told me it was my neighbor.”

when seojun trails off and shakes his head with furrowed eyebrows you hold yourself back from letting out a relieved sigh.

he doesn’t know it was you. it’s like all the worries leave your body before the boy starts talking again,

“isn’t that weird? i mean why would my neighbor come to get me, it’s not like i’m close to any of them. also, which neighor? he said it was a girl around your height with y/h/c hair. the only neighbor that comes to my mind is lee minji but there’s no chance i could have kissed her.”

“you did what?”, although knowing exactly what he did, your eyes widden in horror when you notice that he remembers the kiss but not the person. seojun realizes what he just said and tries to explain everything in a rushed tone,

“look, i don’t know why i did it. i was drunk! besides that, i’m not even sure if it was her, or anyone! what if it’s just a false memory? or a dream?”

the young boy feels like he needs to justify himself to you when he catches glimpse of the worry hiding in your eyes. han seojun doesn’t want you to think that he would kiss anyone just like that. in fact, he wouldn’t want to kiss anyone but you.

but that’s not what you’re thinking at the moment. the only thing you can focus on is seojun’s statement leaving his mouth a few seconds ago: “i was drunk!”

of course, he was. how could you even have the smallest hope that he kissed you because he wanted to? ashamed of your expectations, you clear your throat and look away, playing with the rings on your fingers.

“oh man, that sucks!”, you chuckle falsely, “don’t worry about it too much. it could happen to anyone, you know?”

“i think about it day and night, thought.”, seojun rubs his neck, eyes fixed on the carpet on the floor.

“why? was it that special for you?”, laughing you push his shoulder playfully.

unexpectedly, seojun looks up to meet your eyes and blinks,

“it was.”

your heart drops. your body freezes on spot. your eyes stare into his.

hearing this shocked you, why was it special to him? without doubt, it was special to you too. precisely, you remember his soft lips on yours, warm touch on your face.

breaking the stare, you shake your head and look around, “just forget about it.”

after a short silence, your eyes finally land on something certain on seojun’s desk. taking a few steps closer, you are able to take a closer look at the item. picking up the polaroid picture, you smile at the photo of you sleeping on seojun’s shoulder in the bus. your arm was wrapped around his torso, his look fixed on you.

“where did you get this?”, turning around with the picture still in your hands, you show it to seojun with a happy face.

“o-oh that? the others took it while you were sleeping.”

“i didn’t know you had this.”

“yeah, i kinda just forgot hahahaha.”

“sure you did!”, suddenly kim chorong bursts into the room with a teasing smile,

“i’m here, y/n. but it seems like you don’t need me anymore.”

“why are you here?”, seojun frowns.

“she told me to come! it’s not always about you.”, sticking out this tongue, your friend shrugs and lets himself fall on seojun’s bed,

“what are we doing today? how about noraebang?”

brushing his fingers over the multiple lipsticks, seojun’s eyes focus on a certain pink one. hesitantly, he picks it up to take a closer look before putting it back to its place.

“do they have strawberry ones?”, he asks his sister who looks for something specific. gowoon asked his brother if they could go to the mall together, since she’s been getting into make up these days and therefore needs more products.

“what?”

“like strawberry lip balms.”

“why do you need one?” she laughs at her brother who seems a little unsure.

“just because!” seojun tries to hide everything when he notices his sister making fun of him.

when she eventually shows him the lip balms and he’s able to smell all of them, seojun gives up. the boy went through several lip balms but couldn’t find the right one. maybe he should just give up looking for signs.

“why is everyone so obsessed with them? y/n owns plenty of them, it‘s insane.“

juyeong, who happened to tag along with gowoon and seojun, lets out a sigh as he watches the older boy.

“she does?“, suddenly seojun is interested in something that juyeong says.

“absolutely. you can ask her, you know?“

“i should ask her as well! she seems to like make up!“, gowoon smiles excitedly.

although juyeong is aware of his sister‘s lack of skills in make up, he still nods almost to quickly,

“definitely, you should! you can come to our house since she‘s always home anyway.“

seojun no longer listens to the younger‘s conversation, but instead thinks about what juyeong said earlier.

running to get in class on time has become a regular thing for you. once again, your legs move in super speed in the empty hallways as you hold tight on your heavy books. not even realizing your open backpack hanging on your right shoulder, you struggle to breathe normally.

you become interested in your untied shoes while running and suddenly bump into someone else, because you didn’t look ahead.

in a swift move the person steadies you to keep you from falling. still, your backpack drops from your shoulder and causes all of your belongings to drop on the floor.

too distracted from the mess that got created, you quickly kneel down to collect your books and folders,

“shoot!” you mutter, extremely stressed from the fact that you’re losing more time.

“running late again, zombie?”

you realize it’s han seojun when he bends down to help you pick up your stuff. after collecting some of your folders and books, his eyes focus on a certain lip balm placed next to your foot. instantly he reaches for it with a frown, your books still in his other hand.

completely stressed out, you rapidly stuff all of your supplies into your backpack and fail to notice seojun observing every small detail of your lip balm. as you finally look up, you take your books away from seojun’s grip and hold them in your hands instead of putting them back in, so that you can save some time,

“thank you.”, before you can leave seojun stands in front of you, holding your strawberry lip balm. after smelling it, he raises his eyebrows at you,

“is this yours?”

“oh, yes! thanks.” unaware of his thoughts, you take the item from his hand with a smile and put it into the pocket of your blazer.

and then seojun just stands there, watching you sprint to your next class.

he’s about to lose his mind.

patting his skin dry with a towel after washing it with cold water, seojun’s gaze darts around the school’s gym. his eyes look for you in the big hall filled with students, who came to watch the basketball game. the young boy is sure to have seen you sitting in the first row with lee suho during the game. however, it seems like you are nowhere to be seen. did you maybe leave with lee suho?

frustrated and tired at the same time, seojun approaches his friend kim chorong only seconds after the game,

“do you know where y/n is?”

“y/n? i’m not quite sure. she was here during the whole game, thought.”, chorong shrugs with a small pout forming on his lips.

“how did she leave so fast?”, seojun sighs annoyed before someone suddenly hits his back forcefully,

“if you’re looking for y/n, she just left with lee suho.”, sua tries to hide her teasing smile.

“with lee suho? why? where did they go?”

“she told me she lost her bracelet and wanted to find it.”, sua crosses her arms,

“they’re probably looking in the hallways or something.”

hearing that, seojun instantly drops his bag and runs out of the gym hall, ignoring his friend’s calls.

“yah, where are you going? we’re gonna celebrate your win!”, kim chorong yells only to turn to sua after seojun is out of his sight. they both share a smile before high fiving,

“good job.”

“taehoon just called me. suho left y/n. she’s alone in the hallways, looking for that bracelet.”

“as expected, cupid team never fails.”

seojun slows down when he turns the next corner. finally reaching the hallway of the third floor, his steps echo in the empty area. it’s dark outside and many students already left the building right after the end of the basketball game, leaving only seojun and you in the dark hallway of the third floor.

eventually the young boy spots you near your classroom, searching for your bracelet with worried eyes. he notices how you run your hand through your hair, upset that you lost something so important. seojun hides behind the wall, still questioning if he should approach you. strangely, suho is not around which makes him question everything.

while thinking about leaving, seojun’s eyes land on a specific item placed right next to the plant on his right side. surprised, he picks up the flower bracelet, which he gifted you after he apologized on the last day of the school trip, and stares at it for a short while.

hesitantly, seojun finally steps out and approaches you with a more relaxed figure.

letting out a yelp, you turn around in a swift move when you feel two hands placing on your shoulders. with widen eyes you face han seojun standing only a few inches away from you. pressing a palm on your chest, you sigh in relief,

“you scared me. again.”

“looking for this?”, ignoring your annoyed eyes, he swings your bracelet in his right hand.

“how- where did you find it? i was looking everywhere!”, quickly you snatch it away from him to place it around your wrist tightly, making sure it won’t slip out this time.

“is it so important that you spend hours searching in this building?” seojun rolls his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest, “you should go home now. it’s really late.”

“yes. it is important to me.” you mutter and glare at the boy in front of you before thanking him.

after that, suddenly silence takes over the room. you are too busy adjusting the bracelet on your wrist, while seojun only watches you with a curious gaze. he seems to be lost in his own thoughts.

it’s true that he’s seen you wear it every single day.

he’s also certain about the smell of your strawberry lip balm. seojun is a little bit angry at himself, for remembering every small detail of the kiss, but not the face of the person he shared it with. maybe he’s just tricking himself about it. maybe it is actually you, who he kissed that night.

thinking of the only way to find out, the boy interrupts the long silence as he puts his hand into the pocket of your blazer, taking out the specific strawberry lip balm. you’re more than surprised and freeze on spot when he places the tip of the container on your bottom lip and applies it on your lips.

absolutely taken aback, you fail to notice seojun taking a few steps closer to you, his body almost attached to yours now. it doesn’t take him long to lift up your chin, enabling your eyes to meet his. they look into yours with so much intensity that your cheeks start glowing from the heat. once again, your heart pounds aggressively in your chest as the young boy nears his face to yours. from all your experiences till now, you feel the most nervous now. not to mention, confused from his sudden actions. (*insert “i’m the mood for dancing” by yuju*)

last time he was drunk and didn’t know what he was doing.

now he’s completely aware of his actions.

instantly you close your eyes shut, waiting impatiently for his lips to touch yours. both of you have been longing feel this feeling again, never able to get rid of the memory from friday night. seojun tilts his head slightly before finally placing his lips on your soft ones.

and in the exact moment, when he tastes the strawberry flavor on your lips, his heart speeds up, his hands hold your warm face, he knows it’s you. he realizes that it was you, who picked him up and you, who he kissed with so much emotion.

firmly you grip onto seojun’s t-shirt when your knees feel weak. as a result the boy only smiles against your lips before his hands move from your face to your waist, pulling you to his body. running one hand up and down your waist, he continues moving his lips against yours.

before you have the chance to move yours arms to wrap them around his neck, seojun slowly pulls away. you open your eyes to see him licking his bottom lip with a small smile. somehow you’re unable to meet his eyes when he lets out a chuckle,

“thought i wouldn’t find out sooner or later?”

“h-how did you know it was me?”, you whisper, grip still tight on his shirt.

“strawberry taste.”

his simple answer surprises you, “oh, right...”

seojun caresses your face in his hands as he notices your shy tone to make you look at him,

“why didn’t you just tell me?”

“i thought you didn’t mean it since you were extremely drunk.”

“ah, y/n. you haven’t changed at all, have you?”

hearing seojun suddenly laugh makes you even more confused,

“what do you mean?”

“you’re always so oblivious about everything like my feelings towards you.” seojun smiles at you adoringly and pushes a few strands of hair behind your ear.

“you-”

“i like you, y/n. have been the whole time.”

“you were always mean to me, how was i supposed to know?”, slighlty pouting, you push his shoulder playfully.

“you’re right and i’m sorry about that. i was so focused on hiding my feelings that i didn’t realize i was hurting you. i didn’t want you to think that i liked you.”

“you succeeded.”

“yeah,” seojun scratches his neck while looking into your eyes, “still haven’t gotten an answer from you, y/n.”

taking his hand, you rub the back of it before kissing his right cheek,

“i like you too, seojun.”

seojun melts. he feels his happiest and his cheeks turn into the shade of a tomato.

“look at us. who would’ve thought?”, you laugh at his shyness.

“not me.”, seojun smiles before pulling you in for another kiss.

the cold hair hits your face as you sit on a swing while seojun pushes you. swinging your feet with a big smile on your face, you glance behind your shoulder quickly to see seojun looking at you with adoring eyes.

“higher!”, you scream, catching the kids’ attention on the playground for a short second.

therefore, your boyfriend pushes you with more force as he tries to hide his amused grin, “as you wish, my highness. but you’re scaring the kids away, don’t you think?”

“feels like we’re kids again.”, you remember your childhood moments with seojun.

“enough for now. when is it my turn?”, seojun pouts playfully, still pushing you on the swings.

“i said ten minutes not five, seojun.”

both of you laugh hysterically at your remark before he firmly grips on the chain of the swing, making it stop abruptly. before you can turn around to look at him with a frown, your boyfriend places a kiss on your left cheek, causing them to turn into a shade of bright pink.

“i love you.”

“i love you too, seojunnie.”

that’s all seojun needs to hear before pushing you on the swing again, heart melting in his chest.

and in the end of the day he knows that you’ll always be there for him. and you know that he’ll be right there too.

the end!

this is the last part of the series “humph; han seojun”. firstly, i hope you liked the ending and the story in total. secondly, i wrote this story because i noticed that there aren’t many han seojun fics! i thank everyone for giving me all the love that i don’t deserve. thirdly, please stay tuned for more fanfictions! be aware that i’m open for requests, feedback and everything nice. love you and stay safe,

your writer renjunes

#the end #humph #frenemies to lovers #han seojun #seojun #han seojun fluff #seojun fluff #han seojun x reader #han seojun imagine #han seojun imagines #seojun imagines #seojun imagine #seojun x reader #true beauty #kdrama #kpop #hwang in yeop #hwang inyeop #fanfiction

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awesomerextyphoon · 3 years

Note

I love your writing. May I have Loki x Reader? The reader is a sweet, delicate dreamer. Loki has come to conquer the world. He saw her and wants her to become his Queen of Midgard. He kidnapped her. She pleads with him to let her go while she is tied to the bed. He caresses her hair and says she will love him (he doesn't want to use the scepter on her).

***Can I have White Reader x Loki, please? Loki just escaped from the Helicarrier. He saw the reader who is a sweet and innocent creature. Loki doesn't want her dead when he will start battle. Loki kidnaps her and locks her up to keep her safe. When he wins, Loki tells her that she will become his queen.***

Hi! I decided to combine the prompts and make the reader plus-sized. I hope you enjoy!

His Match

Pairing: Dark!Loki x Plus-Sized Female Reader

Summary: You’ve tried to live by your grandmother’s rule of being kind to others, even when the world gives you the middle finger. What if a Norse God decided reward you by becoming his Queen?

Word Count: 1,745

Rating: 18+/Mature

Warning: Kidnapping, Implied Dub/Non-Con, Angst, and some Violence

A/N: Thanks goes to the amazing @angrythingstarlight for beta reading this!

Loki was walking around New York City, scouting Stark Tower making sure the final preparations of his plan was perfect when something, or rather someone, caught his eye.

She walked out of what looked like a women’s clothing store with a forlorn smile. She was plumper than the average female Midgardian last time he frequented the realm. His eyes did not miss the enticing curves that lied beneath her clothes despite her efforts to ensconce herself into the background.

She was a vision.

Her eyes met his for the briefest of moments and it felt like time stopped. His heart quickened in his chest and a rush of blood surged to his groin.

He had to follow her. His Elskan.

“Barton, tell the others I’ll be out for a few more hours. Proceed as planned.”

–––––

He found you entering a rather destitute apartment complex. Its lights and foundation were a bit unsound and gave off a seedy ambience.

Loki grimaced at her living conditions. When he ruled Midgard, she would have only the best.

Casting a simple concealment spell, Loki entered her fairly small apartment. She began mixing ingredients together for what looked to be ‘chocolate chip cookies’. He smiled as he inhaled the sweet aroma knowingly; Asgard had only recently started consuming the sweet. She soon laid out a batch of thick, scrumptious cookies with a satisfied expression.

They reminded him of better times when he and Thor would sneak into the kitchens and swipe confections from under the baker’s nose. Loki chuckled at the memory; those were the days.

Not ten minutes after she placed the last cookie onto the cooling rack did her phone ring. It was her mother. Loki felt dread coming off his Elskan in waves.

Loki could only make out bits and pieces of the conversation, if you could call it that. Her mother constantly nagged her about her weight, life choices, and her ‘pathetic’ attempts to get over her ex-boyfriend. His heart broke as he saw tears begin to fall and the croaking of her voice as she bid the odious creature goodnight.

Several minutes after she cried herself to sleep, Loki entered his Elskan’s bedroom. He spied her diary on the nightstand and decided to read a few pages.

He was fuming within two minutes.

How dare that caustic pig sow treat his Elskan, her own daughter, in a such ghastly manner! Her ‘perfect’ sister always slighting and reminding her on how ‘she’ll never be good enough for anything’ and her father’s callous indifference to her cries for help and solace only added to his rage. Combined with the way her ex-boyfriend, the repugnant gnat, treated her (he cheated on her with someone who ‘wasn’t built like a blimp’ and ‘the only thing you thing you had going for you were your tits’) and he wanted to speed up the invasion just to watch the horror become engrained onto their faces.

And yet, she endeavored to treat everyone with kindness harkening back to your grandmother. She strived to be the one light in one’s otherwise miserable existence.

Well, she can be his light as his Elskan and Queen.

Loki took a deep, cleansing breath. He needed to stick to the plan. When he conquers Midgard, she will be their queen. She will grace the undeserving masses with her elegance and beauty and he will worship her every chance he got.

He just had to make her see it that way.

Gently, the light forest green glow of Loki's magic flowed from his hand to the crown of her head like a halo. He leaned in and kissed her cheek with a smile as he left.

He hated to leave her, but he had a realm to conquer. Though he hoped she’d enjoy the introductory gift.

––––––

You were in your grandmother’s living room; spacious yet comfy with all of her quirkiness and splendor included. It was odd since you haven’t been in her house since your parents sold after her death seven years ago. You tearfully smiled remembering all the good times you had with her, the only member of your family you gave you any true warmth or love.

Her piano was in the corner, barely aged a day with all the music sheets, pens, a light scratches you came to know and love. You took your seat and started to play the piano version of one of your favorite movie themes.

You were so engrossed in playing, you failed to notice someone materializing into your dreamscape.

“What a lovely tune! What is it called?” A smooth, honey-tinged voice broke your concentration.

You turned your head and saw what had to be the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. He was tall (6’ 10” / 2.08m) easily towering over any man you’ve ever met. He had smooth alabaster skin, light rose undertones with a little blue-red just under his eyes. His cheekbones were immaculate, somehow looked sharp and soft at the same time. He had thin lips with a fair plumpness to the bottom one. His slicked-back, shoulder-length Ponzu/Shadow Purple hair kissed his lean, battle-hardened physique (if the way he’s filling out his outfit was anyway to go by). All of this deliciousness was clothed in a casual Palm Green suit with a Glossy Black tie and shoes.

It took you a full minute to stop ogling him, “Wha-What did you say?”

“I apologize for disturbing you, my lady. I asked what you were playing.” His voice had hints of mirth which was odd considering his appearance. Most people in his league would give you a thinly veiled sneer of disgust, but he seemed genuinely interested.

“Um, well, it’s called Merry-Go-Round of Life from the movie Howl’s Moving Castle. It’s a favorite of mine. I used to play it all the time until…” You trailed off, not wanting to revisit how your grandmother died.

“You do not have to tell me if it brings you such displeasure.”

“Thank you, um…”

“Loki. Please, call me Loki.”

“Loki,” he inwardly moaned at the way you said his name, “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise. Please, continue playing.”

And you did for what felt like hours, all while your sexy dream companion asked about your hopes, dreams, anything he could think of really. You in turn asked him about his life and interests; you even laughed at a story of his brother having to dress like a bride to get his hammer back.

You soon became enamored with Loki. It was refreshing to be noticed with actual interest, not ridicule or pity. He seemed to taken with you as well, if his gentle caresses and not-so-subtle lustful glances he gave you were any indication.

You were glad this was just a dream. You didn’t want your heart to break like last time.

Loki was about to lean in for a kiss when everything faded to black.

–––––

You jolted up from the mattress and screamed once you realized you weren’t in your room.

No, this room was…spectacular for lack of better word. It had high ceilings, large windows, ornate chandeliers, and magnificent balcony. Luxurious dark greens, gold, and black covered the room in splendor. Extravagant pieces of furniture dripped with precious stones metal worthy of queens or royal mistresses of old.

“What is this place?”

You tried to leave but was forced back onto the bed by a force field. You tried to take calm breaths just like your therapist taught you in order to make an escape plan.

No sooner did you calm down than the door open to reveal-

“Loki!”

Only Loki was wearing radically different clothing; looked like he walked right out of a fantasy epic. And yet, his smile was enchanting.

“What am I doing here? I need to go back home.”

He tutted in response, “That would not be wise, Elskan Mín. This world is mine now and this is safest place to be.” He was right. His brother’s team of desperate souls were no match for his cunning and Chitauri Forces. Midgard’s pathetic leaders gave up in less than an hour once their beloved ‘heroes’ were defeated, broken, and laid bare before them.

“You can’t be serious, Loki. I need to leave.”

“And go where? Like I said, this realm is mine now. That rat poison of a dwelling is no more and I have dealt with your ‘family’ as needed.” Loki smirked at the memories. It gave him extreme joy squeezing the life out of that worthless pig of mother, breaking every bone in your father’s body one by one, and leaving your ‘perfect’ sister alive with partially rotten skin. Not even the scavengers or maggots would find or want the remains of the scurvy insect of an ex-boyfriend, though he was still alive..just barely.

Well, at least until he decided on how to destroy the blight of creature.

Though he did make sure to leave two of your real friend were treated well. You needed to have someone to talk to while he was away.

You gazed into his Spearmint colored eyes in one last attempt, “Please Loki! If you love me, you’ll let me go!”

For a split second, you could’ve sworn you saw hurt in his eyes and he glided across the room. You back hit the headboard in you sad efforts to get away from him.

“Elskan Mín, I promise to always love, cherish, and worship every part of your glorious body. You will become Midgard’s queen and my goddess. No. One. Will. Ever. Demean. Or. Slight. You. Again.” he punctuated each word of the last sentence with soft, open-mouthed kisses to your face, neck, shoulders, and collarbone.

You tried to fight him, but it felt so good. His touches sent shots of lightning to your core; plus his lips and fingers were cook to the touch provided excellent contrast to the spike in heat.

You started crying realizing how pathetic this was, to have the first person to profess such feelings be a kidnapper. You were actually contemplating whether or not he was telling the truth.

Loki sensed your sorrow and kissed your tears away. “I know this might be ‘difficult’ at first, but you will love me in time.” He hoped he did not have to use the scepter.

You thought about your dream and all of the effort he was putting into this. It was frightening, but it came from a place of love.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to stay.

–––––––

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#loki (marvel)#loki x reader #marvel loki x reader #dark loki #loki x female reader #loki x plus-sized reader #mcu imagine #dark!loki #dark!loki x reader #marvel fanfiction #mcu au #loki imagines #loki imagines angst #mcu fanfiction #his match #oge answers #tom hiddleston

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illogicalthinking · 3 years

Text

The Burn Within

warnings: Some NSFW language (Remus), blood/ bruises mention, hurt no comfort and self hatred

word count: 1883

authors note: for this fic i used a prompt by @just-another-ts-prompt-blog which can be found: here

hope you enjoy!

Whilst the ‘light’ and ‘dark’ sides preferred to keep their distance from each other, they had to share certain parts of Thomas’s mind. For example, they shared a common area, and the imagination was split into two separate realms, much like Roman and Remus: Whilst one contained multiple castles and kingdoms living in harmony with each other, the other was a prison of living nightmares.

However, this arrangement did not bring them any closer to each other. The light sides tried to avoid the dark sides at all costs. Remus often played pranks on the others such as swapping the sugar out for salt, spiking drinks with inedible products, and stealing utensils.

This made meal times extremely difficult to control: Virgil would hiss and hide, Patton would try and fail to diffuse the situation, Janus would watch in entertainment and Roman was never around to witness. The only side that could keep the sides from murdering each other was Logan.

Today seemed like one of those days.

“Virgil could you please come down from there, Remus did not do anything” Logan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. It was far too early for this, Logan muttered to himself whilst taking a large sip of coffee from his “worlds best mum” mug.

“He walked in whilst we were making coffee, that’s more than enough reason to hide. What if he put baby powder in my drink again? I’m going to die because of him!” Virgil hissed from his place on the top of the fridge, hoodie covering his frantic eyes.

Virgil had been more paranoid than usual after the recent video. He had fallen back into his old habit of hissing at the other sides when stressed. It concerned Patton greatly.

“Oh please sunshine, there is a higher chance of me fucking a woman with 3 arms than there is me spiking your drink again, I just walked in!” Remus exclaimed as he passed Virgil on the fridge to the dining table.

“Whilst Remus vocalized his argument in a very unprofessional manner, he is right, we have been awake for approximately 1 hour and 15 minutes whereas, by the looks of it, Remus has only been awake for around 10 minutes.” Logan made sure to maintain eye contact with Virgil whilst voicing his opinion to ensure Virgil knows he’s telling the truth. “There is nothing to worry about Virgil, you are safe”

“Thanks, L”

“You're welcome, now please come down from there, it is very dangerous to be sitting in places you are not supposed to be sitting”

After the incident this morning between Virgil and Remus, Logan remained seated in the common room, his back straight against the recliner with his laptop placed on his lap. He was researching content for a Sanders side video they will be filming in the evening. He did not do this in his room due to not wanting another incident like this morning. Logan is the only side that is willing to deal with the incidents, while the other sides (particularly Janus and Roman) are too impatient and often make the situation worse.

Throughout the whole day, Logan continued to research the link between intrusive thoughts and depression. Thomas had recently been showing signs of this mental illness and Logan wanted to bring it up to him via a video. However, there was a small issue, Logan would have to have all the other sides present including Janus and Remus. He needed Janus because Thomas listened to him more than Logan (much to the latter's dismay) and Remus represented intrusive thoughts. It would only be fair to have Remus take part in a discussion about him, even if the light sides had a problem with this.

Happy with his research, Logan snapped his laptop shut. Due to none of the other sides entering the common room after this morning's incident, Logan concluded it was safe to retreat into his room because he was not needed to split up another argument yet.

To Logan's annoyance, it was time to film the video for Thomas' youtube channel. After the events of putting others first, Logan had started to dread taking part in videos. This was because Janus proved he could take his role as logic, and remain loved and respected whilst providing the necessary information Thomas needed.

“Enough of the self-loathing, Logan, now is not the time,” Logan muttered to himself as he sank down into Thomas’s living room. This evening is going to be a long one for all of the sides, especially Logan.

Logan didn’t know how much longer he could handle the arguing.

None of the other sides were listening to his facts or solutions, too busy pinning the blame on each other for Thomas’s current problem. Roman and Remus were currently swords to mace, about to start a physical fight, Janus remained by Patton’s side trying and failing to calm him down before he turned back into a frog and Virgil remained curled up on his side, his hoodie covered the majority of him but Logan could still see him shaking.

Something had to shut them up.

I will shut them up, Logan thought to himself. Logan became alarmed by the sudden aggressive thoughts. He may have a short fuse but he wasn’t usually aggressive, not without guilt eating away at him. However, this time Logan had no guilt attached to this thought and he shivered at the realisation.

This time was different he reminded himself and with that thought, Logan snapped

“Will you all shut up and listen to what I have to say for once!” Logan all but screamed at the top of his lungs, ensuring he was heard over the arguing.

The silence that came after was enough evidence for logan to continue:

“People who suffer from depression often get stuck with a single or even several intrusive thoughts that arise frequently. These types of repetitive intrusive thoughts are known as 'rumination'.”

“The whole point of me organising this stupid video was to bring this statement to Thomas’ attention and guide him with the help of Janus to seek professional help. You all arguing like a group of immature school children was not part of the script, now if you would excuse me I am going to make myself useful for once and leave” Logan huffed, glad to get that out of his system. Even after snapping, the guilt never choked him like it usually would, which disturbed him greatly.

“Logan, wait!” Virgil pleaded, but it was too late.

“I said I was leaving, now fuck off and leave me alone” Logan hissed at him, the guilt still not reaching him.

Happy with this statement. Logan sunk out of the living room back to his room, leaving six shocked and petrified individuals behind.

“What just happened?” Thomas said to nobody in particular.

“I do not know but it’s best to leave him alone, let’s just get this shit show over and done with” Virgil muttered, far too anxious about Logan to care about the video.

Logan what happened to you. Virgil thought.

When Logan rose up into his bedroom he could not hold it in anymore. All of the pent-up frustration from being ignored for months became too much for the logical side, causing him to slam his fists into the nearest wall. However, without realizing it, Logan’s fist struck a family photo of all the sides surrounding a very happy Thomas.

For some reason seeing the shattered photo frame on the floor and the glass sticking out of his broken skin caused something within him to break.

For the first time in months, Logan allowed himself to cry out all of his frustrations.

After what seemed like hours, Logan finally got up from his place on his bed. He noted that his eyes were swollen and his hand was covered in dry blood and bruises. He did not want to get up and clean his mistake, but he knew he had to because the others would ask questions and he did not want that. Logan did not want the other side’s sympathy. It was a little too late for them and Thomas to care about him but he had to stay because Thomas needed him. They needed him.

“Do they need you though, Logan? Come on, you’re just as useful as me right now and you know it.” A harsh voice sneered into the cold room. Logan immediately knew who it was.

“Be quiet Orange, no matter how much Thomas tries to push me aside, I won’t leave because I am his logic, and Thomas needs his logical side.

“Come on Logan deep down you know I am right, let me prove it to you”

“Let’s just say you were correct in your hypothesis, what happens after that?” Logan sneered. He was far too exhausted to deal with this right now, and he just wanted to sleep.

“Let me show you”

“If I trusted you I would be breaking trust with the others and Thomas and I cannot do that. Thomas’s welfare is my number one priority and I cannot cause any harm to them, no matter how much they have hurt me”

“Oh please Logan, Thomas has not given a shit about you since the beginning. Where is your video, Logan? All the other sides have an episode focused on them, even Remus! And Thomas hates the guy! Do something for yourself for once in your life and listen to me, I can make them listen to you but you have to trust me,” Orange whispered to Logan. Logan knew deep down that what orange was saying was correct, he did not just want to admit it to himself. Until now, that is.

“Fine, what do you have in mind?”

It has been approximately one hour since Logan had sunk out of the video, and Janus was getting worried. No matter how much he tried to get a hand on Logan and summon, he couldn’t. Logan was unreachable

The twins were arguing and Patton and Janus couldn't find a middle ground. Finally, they summoned Logan, needing an impartial side. But when he appears, something is different.

He was wearing a long-sleeve dress shirt, much fancier than usual. He had streaked eyeliner and his glasses were different. He was not wearing a tie.

“Logan? What happened?” Thomas asked, hesitant like he almost doesn’t want to know.

Patton had his hand to his mouth. He spoke up after a moment, “Logan, you look like… like a dark side. What did you do?”

Logan’s voice was quiet and soft like if he spoke too loud he might break. “I didn’t do anything. I didn’t try to do this, I-” he cut himself off, taking a deep, steadying breath. “I have become obsolete.” His voice broke on the last word and he clamped his mouth shut.

“No, Logan!” Thomas immediately disagreed. “We need Logic!”

Logan nodded, eyes still trained on the floor. “Yes, you do need logic. But . . . you don’t want me”

And with that, Logan sank out for the second time that night, leaving nothing but a cloud of smoke that soon vanished, just like he did.

The others could not do anything but feel the burn within.

What had they done?

#logan angst #logan sanders angst #logan sanders #Janus Sanders #remus sanders #virgil sanders #character!thomas #sanders sides

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merminns · 3 years

Text

No regrets

Erwin Smith x Reader

❧ Request: Hii may i request...Erwin angst...when (S3 spoiler) Erwin march toward the 🐒 with the other soldier, instead of him tht went, it was the reader. Reader just cant make the humanity lost their commander so when he is distracting (idk something happened) reader just take their horse n march with the soldiers, (then do ur magic DETAILS like ur erwin stories✨✨) n levi also decide not to save us like in the s3....shshsh i know this lame :33

❧ Content/Warnings: platonic levi x reader, season 3 spoilers, angst, mentions of injuries and blood, reader dies in the end

❧ Word count: 3k

❧ Notes: this is a repost from my old blog

Going back to shiganshina after all of these years was a huge deal. Especially after the glorious send-off you were given by the citizens of Wall Rose. You came back to reclaim Wall Maria after six long years, you’re taking back your land and defeating the titans that filled your hearts with terror, cause that’s what heroes do.

But in reality, it didn’t really feel that way to you. Instead of being the hero who’s facing their fear, you feel like a terrified child living in a nightmare.

You expected a fight with the titans, of course, you did. Taking back your land won’t come without a fight, without losses. And it’s not your first time facing titans.

You’ve been fighting them for years now, getting rid of them one after the other alongside your friends. Your records are filled with a decent number of kills and you are proud of it.

But this… this is different, you’ve never been in this situation before. You fought titans and you watched them kill your comrades in the worst ways imaginable, but never in your various years within the survey corps did you ever imagine that these monsters would show this tactical intelligence.

It made the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. Titans are a nightmare on their own, with intelligence like that you’re surely done for.

When you came to shiganshina you expected a fight against the armored and the colossal, even the beast titan, but not a tactical war with pure titans that follow command, and most certainly not rocks killing your most skilled comrades and caging you against the wall.

Despite your fear, you felt a sarcastic chuckle slip past your lips. You’ve lived for years with nightmares of being eaten, and now you’re dying in a titan game of baseball, how pathetic.

Your eyes drifted to Erwin and Levi who were having a private conversation nearby as you tried to calm the panicking recruits. Erwin… your commander, your love, the man who never knew how to back down. He's not in the best physical state, but he just had to come along. He had to be here even though he knew he won't be able to fight.

Despite the fear eating at your heart, you kept your composure, that’s the least you owed your commander. After the recruits calmed down, you made your way to where Erwin and Levi stood. Their conversation halted as you stood in front of them, their eyes holding something unreadable in their depth.

"I'm hoping these looks mean you came up with a plan… " You spoke, your voice coming with the quiver you never hoped to show.

A moment of silence passed, a look shared between Erwin and Levi… if this meant anything then you weren’t about to hear good news. There was tension in the air as Erwin explained his plan to you. It was then that you understood the look in their eyes, you think a similar one can be seen in your eyes now.

It finally dawned on you that this is the end. There is no way out of this war alive. Erwin's plan had a single meaning; if you keep standing where you are, you'll be flattened by the rocks thrown at you by the beast, and if you fight back, you die. You'll have to give your lives so Levi could deal with the Beast Titan.

You always knew this day would come. A war with the titans can’t end without casualties. The survey corps numbers were always changing. These are all facts, but you had hoped it wouldn’t be like this.

The fear was eating at your insides, it’s impossible to face titans without it, but you knew ever since your very first day with the corps that you’ll have to be ready to give your life. You were ready to accept it… that is, until Erwin spoke up again.

"We'd have to ask these young people to give up their lives. You'd need the skills of a first-rate con man to come up with a reason that convincing, so I doubt any of them would charge forward unless I was leading the way."

His words are like a slap back to reality, it wasn’t just your life you were giving. All of your remaining comrades will have to give theirs too, including the commander. The survey corps are going to be wiped out in a crazy move of mass suicide. But it wasn’t only your lives that would have to be given, and all it took was one look in Erwin’s eyes to know where this was going.

"Which would mean I'd be the first to die, " Erwin said and you held your breath waiting for his next words "without ever learning… what was in that basement."

You knew it, you knew this was coming but it still hurt. Amid this chaos, you managed to forget the reason why Erwin insisted to be here in the first place.

'Oh, Erwin, if only you weren't so stubborn' The words were dancing on the tip of your tongue but you couldn’t speak.

Of course, Erwin has dreams, he’s just as much of a human as everyone here. While most of the corps were fighting for freedom or revenge, Erwin was fighting for the truth, for evidence that his father’s death meant something.

The look of shock on Levi’s face came nowhere close to the pain you felt. You joined the scouts for a purpose, too. Your dream was freedom, you hoped to be free of the confinement and the terror that the existence of the titans brought. But, now that you think about it, you did get a taste of freedom.

You were free from the confinement of the walls on your horse, feeling the air rushing through your hair and over your skin every time you went out on an expedition.

You were free of terror every time you raised your swords to cut through the nape of a titan’s neck. Every time you brought a titan down you had a taste of the freedom you were chasing.

And the people who fought for revenge, didn’t they get that too? They killed titans, they felt the satisfaction of getting rid of the enemy who hurt them and their loved ones.

The only dream that was never given a chance was Erwin’s. How unfair could the world be to take away the only chance from the man who helped give almost every soldier in the scouts a taste of their dreams? No… he can’t die, not yet.

You let Erwin give his speech. That’s one thing that no one else can do. Erwin is the only one who can convince the recruits, crying out in fear, to stand tall and fight back as they take their last breaths of the air filled with the smell of dust and death.

As Erwin and the recruits were absorbed in their final thoughts and the speech, you slightly pulled on Levi’s sleeve pulling him back several steps.

The first step of your plan came into action as you answered Levi’s questioning look with a whisper “I want you to distract him.”

“What?” Levi asked, the confusion only growing on his face.

“I want you to distract Erwin. He is giving his speech, I’ll lead the recruits to their death,” you say, your whole being pleading that Levi would agree to help you. He has to, this won’t work out without his help.

“But—”

“Levi, please. The scouts still need him, you know that!” you pause glancing back at Erwin to make sure he’s not listening “When it’s time to move, I want you to pull him aside, tell him it’s something important. It’ll only take a few seconds, then you can carry out your part of the plan and kill the beast.”

“And how do you plan to stop Erwin from following you?”

“I’ll take any extra horses with me, he won’t be able to help you kill the beast and his odm gear won’t do much for him to follow after me,” you held your breath, your eyes pleading. This has to work “Please! Just do me this final favor.”

A moment passed as Levi glanced at Erwin then back to you, his expression unreadable. It was obvious your sacrifice isn’t just for the sake of the corps. “...Fine, but you’ll have to be quick”

“I’ll do my best… Thank you, Levi” the smile that spread across your face was blinding. It held so much gratitude, a final thank you combined with a goodbye.

It didn’t take long for Erwin’s words to give everyone back their composure. You helped everyone fall in line as fast as possible. You are running out of time. The houses around you are almost flattened. You have to move forward, this has to work. You can’t fail this, it has to be meaningful, for you, for the recruits who’ll pay their lives with you, for the whole of humanity… and most importantly, for Erwin.

Everyone is on their horses but it’s not time to move yet. You let your eyes meet Levi’s for one last time giving him a slight nod, signaling for him that you’re ready as you settled on your horse.

Levi stopped Erwin from riding his horse beside you, telling him there’s something important that he has to know first and pulling him aside. He walked Erwin as far from you and the recruits as possible without making it seem suspicious.

Erwin followed urgently after Levi not even allowing you one last look at his face. But that was ok, you didn’t need to see his face, it was already burned to the back of your eyelids.

It all took a few seconds, once you saw Levi and Erwin start talking you took hold of Erwin’s horse and started screaming encouragements for the recruits to charge as you rushed forward. Erwin’s shock had him freeze for a couple of seconds and that was enough for you.

You charged forward with the recruits right after you. Levi waited for a few more seconds to make sure Erwin wouldn’t follow after you. When he was sure you were far enough he took off towards his target, leaving Erwin standing there alone his eyes wide in shock.

Your screams of encouragement were so loud, louder than Erwin ever heard them. They were loud enough that even though you were too far away for him to follow he could still hear your voice filled with determination.

You didn’t look back, there was no reason to. This is the right decision, this plan will work and Erwin will lead what’s left of the scouts to victory. Your life is a small price to pay, it’s nothing compared to the rest of the lives that were already lost.

You can see the beast drawing his hand back, getting ready to shower you with the next round of crushed boulders. Your yelling never stopped even though your throat was running sore from all the screaming.

You didn’t stop when the flares were shot, not when the rocks started showering the frontline lead by you. You didn’t stop when the rocks started growing larger in your vision, you hardly even saw them. All you could see was the future, a bright one without the titans and the fear and the pain. You could see the past, the best and the worst of it. All the memories that you shared with every single one of your comrades.

You kept yelling for everyone to rush forward as tears ran down your face. It’s going to be ok, you had all you ever needed. It was time for you to follow through the same path your fallen comrades walked.

Your screams were cut short when the first rock hit you, sharp pain running through your whole body and the world started spinning as you fell off your horse. The tears still filling your eyes helped blind you, sharp whistles filling your ears and the ever-growing pain flowing through you in waves.

You could hear screams of the fallen around you, hidden behind the ringing in your ears. You could feel the air rushing across your skin as the soldiers rushed past you on their horses. Your mind was as paralyzed with pain as your body.

You just laid on the ground, your tear-filled eyes directed to the blue of the sky but the world has lost its color. It went on forever until you were numb, you have lost all feeling, the only thing you can hear is the sound of your heart growing faint as the blood pooled around your body.

You let your eyelids cover your eyes like curtains, your mind swimming somewhere between consciousness and an endless void. You could hardly feel a thing.

It almost felt like falling asleep, your grasp on reality slipping away. But through the back of your mind, the tiny part that was still conscious could feel your body being moved by someone and a rapid rush of air running across your skin.

It gave a jolt to your brain as if something is trying to pull you back to reality but you were too weak. All you wanted was some rest, you just wanted to sleep.

It was a shock to everyone that you’re still alive. You were in bad shape after losing so much blood. Your breath was faint, but it was there and it was enough for you to be revived by the injection. Armin’s state was worse, the fact he was still breathing was a complete miracle, his whole burned away.

Through your clouded consciousness, you could register voices and movement around your body that laid motionless close to Armin’s. It took everything in you to open your eyes, to try to make out the words being yelled back and forth around you.

Through your blurry vision, you could make out the outline of a face so close to yours, peering down at you. You couldn’t see clearly but you knew it was Erwin. Your hearing wasn’t fully registered but you could make out a few words, things like ‘Armin’, ‘Injection’, ‘need’, and your name.

Your foggy mind could barely understand what was going on, but questions started to fill up the part of your consciousness still present.

Were you dying? The last thing you remember is sharp pain rushing through you in waves, but it seems more like a distant memory.

Was Armin dying? If there are mentions of Levi’s injection then this surely is the case.

A few seconds passed when a new figure appeared in your limited line of vision looking down at you over Erwin’s shoulder. Both of them shifted around until the short figure disappeared again, leaving you with Erwin.

Erwin’s voice was so close to your ears, faint whispers about how it’s going to be alright falling past his lips. You felt a huge hand wrap gently around your forearm, followed by a sharp object touching your arm. The injection!

“No,” The barely audible whisper that left you halted Erwin’s actions as his eyes shot to your face “Did we win?”

It felt like too much time has passed before you heard Erwin’s reply “Yes, it’s over”

You were using up too much of your energy to fight back the fog filling your mind. Just a few seconds more, a few more and you’ll allow yourself some rest.

“Save… Armin” your voice was growing weaker, breaths growing shorter.

It broke Erwin’s heart. He was once again being selfish, everyone else chose to save you because you had more experience. To them, you were more valuable to the scouts, with the exception of Armin’s friends who couldn’t accept the fact of him dying.

And Erwin? He wasn’t much different. He wanted to save you because he needed to. He needed to scold you for the stupid move you pulled. He needed to tell you that he would’ve preferred dying by your side than be faced with your death. He needed you to live.

You didn’t understand, he can’t let you die. There was no time for him to explain how valuable you are to the scouts, how valuable you are to him.

He was about to ignore what you said, bring the syringe back to your arm again but with the almost non-existent strength you had, you pulled away.

“Armin” you whispered again, weakly. Your strength wasn’t enough for you to pull back completely, just slightly shift your arm away from the sharp needle, but it was enough to send your message across.

Erwin understood. You were never as selfish as him. You always made the decisions that would benefit the ones you care about most. Erwin took a shaky breath, the composure he usually kept was there for everyone’s eyes, but he wasn’t as composed on the inside.

Armin is a valuable soldier. He is an essential part of the scouts and you understood that. He should be the one to live. And Erwin knew this fight would make no difference if he couldn’t throw everything he had away.

He was ready to throw his dreams and his life away, but you chose for him. You decided he’d keep his life and dreams but in exchange, he’d have to give you up.

After injecting Armin and pulling your weak body away, Erwin stayed by your side. He kept his one hand placed on your heart, waiting for the faint beating to completely stop. And it would have lasted longer if you hadn’t used up so much energy.

To your weak mind, this was the right decision. Armin would do more change for the scouts, for humanity than you ever could. You had no regrets, you’ve got everything you ever asked for.

You allowed your eyes to rest again, let the energy leave your body. And with the last few seconds your breath was there, you could register one whisper. I love you.

Masterlist | Share thoughts with me ☺

#erwin smith #erwin smith x reader #attack on titan erwin #erwin smith angst #aot #snk #attack on titan #shingeki no kiojin #aot angst #snk angst #attack on titan angst #shingeki no kiojin angst #levi ackerman #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #tw: death #tw: blood #tw: injury

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notyourordinaryrandomgirl · 3 years

Text

Silent Treatment

An Uchiha Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke and Uchiha Sarada one shot

All he has to do whenever he comes back to Konoha is be with his wife and daughter. All he had to do is spend as much quality time with them and make memories, especially Sarada, he should know her more as much as she should know him more.

But no, he has the worst temper ever and the foolishness that he has decided to get mad to both of his girls.

He went home that early evening thinking the dinner he will get to share with his family after a long time, just great home-made food cooked by his wife and all the stories Sarada and Sakura will tell him, however when he went home Sarada is going out with bag on her shoulder as if she is going to sleep somewhere else.

“Sarada,” He called.

His precious daughter looked at him, her eyes slowly rounding in shock and her smile beaming as she ran towards him. Of course, he hugged her with his remaining arm and his one knee on the ground leveling his eyes to Sarada. He tucked the escaped hair to her ear.

“What’s with your bag?”

“I am having a sleepover at Chouji’s tonight, Papa.” She said, with an opened smile on her face.

Sleepover?

“Did you tell Sakura?” On all means, he hoped that she didn’t so he has a reason not to let her yet she nodded with confidence.

His brows furrowed, “Are you sure?”

“Hm, Papa! Before I went home from the Academy I went to Mama’s work and I told her. She agreed,”

Sakura did?

“Though she had a lot of reminders.” She pouted.

Sakura knew he is scheduled to go home today, be that as it may that he told her it is morning and it is night now, nevertheless it still counts as today. She knew how much he wanted to spend time with Sarada as much as he stayed in Konoha following what happened the last time she tailed the Hokage to look for him.

It confuses him why Sakura let Sarada, knowing he will be home. And it is 6pm, she should be home by now. Does this happen often, Sarada alone under the dark skies to the comfort of their home? What if someone tries to kidnap her?

“You can’t go, Sarada.” He said, calmly.

The moment he saw the crease on her forehead, he instantly wants to take it back. His pride just won’t let him. He wants to be with Sarada, as he only will stay for a week this time. The sleepover can happen next week.

“P-Papa? Mama already said yes!”

“But I didn’t. Now, I am telling you that I don’t consent to this.” He tried to hold his daughter’s arm but she stepped backward.

“But we are planning this for weeks now, Papa. I did everything to make Mama agree.” Sarada’s face is in a whole frown, upset and angry.

I sighed, “Sarada, I said no.”

“No, Papa!” Sasuke almost held his chest in shock of Sarada, “I did so many things just to have Mama agree for this night, and you cannot just ruin that by coming home and disagreeing!”

Before Sasuke could react, Sarada was already out of the door. He didn’t fail to see the tears that she shed as she ran outside the house. His fist clenched. He just made her cry again, and just right after he met her for a long time again.

Sasuke is in despair, his elbows on both his knees as he buries his face to his palms. That is the scenario Sakura went home to. A smile is plastered unto her face seeing the figure on their home’s couch.

“Sasuke-kun?”

Slowly, Sasuke raised his head to look at his wife. He knew she was coming. He sensed her chakra, and so did she. Sakura walked to his direction in delight, completely not noticing Sasuke’s mood. Or perhaps, she thought he was just tired.

“Have you eaten? I’m sorry I was stuck in the hospital again, but I can buy some outside. It would only take a minute.” Sakura suggests.

Sasuke exhaled. Sakura leaned back, noticing now the odd behavior of her husband. No matter how tired Sasuke has been whenever he returns, he doesn’t fail to at least have physical contact with her. Be it his hand on her waist or shoulder, or mostly hugging.

“Anata, are you… okay?”

“Is this the time you normally go home?” Sasuke asked, his face unreadable and cold.

Sakura’s brows furrowed in confusion, “Mostly. Why?”

“And Sarada is alone?”

She gets it.

“Sasuke-kun, Sarada is a strong girl.” She softly coaxes him.

“What if someone- someone who wants to get revenge tries to get her?” Sasuke’s question is in slits.

“Sasuke-kun…” Sakura tries to touch his arm to calm him.

Sasuke stood up, avoiding her hand.

“And you let her sleep somewhere else when you know I will go home today? Sakura, what are you even thinking?” He spats every word.

Sakura stands up now, her happy expressions now long gone. She is serious as she gazes back at Sasuke's sharp glares.

“Now, she is mad at me because I told her not to go just because you allowed her!”

“Sasuke…”

The missing suffix didn’t go unnoticed, making Sasuke shift on his feet.

“Sarada’s fine. I am also adamant about it but she assured me that she will be wary of her surroundings and considered that as her training too. I don’t go home at this hour everyday, just once in a while and Sarada knows what to do whenever that happens.”

Sakura sighed, “About that sleepover, I apologized. Sarada told me about that for a long time and ultimately gave her things to accomplish before I could let her. When I received your letter, I told Sarada not to go but she went on saying how am I not granting my promises to her. I just couldn’t break her trust and not trust my words anymore, so I let her. I’m sorry, Sasuke.”

Sasuke blinked. Sakura looked away with pure sadness and a hint of longingness in her green expressive eyes.

“I’ll be at Ino’s tonight.”

Before Sasuke could react, Sakura is past the door and nowhere to be found anywhere. Probably went to Yamanaka already. Sasuke badly wants to kick the couch but he knows it will infuriate Sakura more, though she demolished their entire house last time.

Sakura poured sake to her glass as she stared into nothingness. She feels hollow the longer the time she is here with Ino, and away from Sasuke who just arrived after months. However, their first conversation after a long time makes her upset. She can’t believe Sasuke just spats those words easily to her, he didn’t even give her time to tell him what happened.

“You know, if you’re going to be like this it will be better for you to go home and talk this out to him. The man went home after a long time to his family and the two of you left him alone there because he is an idiot, I’m sure he already contemplated his actions.” Her best friend, Ino Yamanaka, said.

Sakura eyed her, “I thought you said to let him suffer to teach him a lesson?”

“Oh well, my husband just told me something out there in the kitchen.” Ino pointed something in her back, where the kitchen and where her teammate is.

“I’m too upset to face him. I can’t believe he said those words to me. I feel so less as a wife to him and as a mother to Sarada.”

“Hey,” Ino held her hand, “You’re a great mother. You don’t want Sarada to not trust your words anymore, you only did what you think was right. I think Uchiha Sasuke is only sad because he wants to spend time with the two of you and you let her sleep somewhere else.”

“I know that, but it does not hurt me less. Do you think I am overreacting?”

“No, your feelings are valid. You just need to understand each other and communicate.”

Sakura’s thoughts went to her husband. He must have felt so alone and lonely right now, probably angry at himself. She knows him so well. Though there’s a chance he might go to Naruto to not be alone, a huge chance is he is tormenting himself at home.

“I think I will go home now. I’ll probably not just look or talk to him.” She said to Ino.

Ino smirked, “Well, goodluck to that. I hope it doesn’t make him less lonely knowing you’re doing silent treatment to him.”

Sakura smiled. She is sure it will frustrate him but her feelings should be pointed at a cross, and she thinks words are not enough to tell Sasuke that she is not only a wife to him but she is more of a mother to Sarada now and her feelings matter more to her. She will stand to her decision of letting Sarada go.

On the other hand, Sasuke went to Ichiraku to eat quickly. His stomach is rumbling like crazy and it infuriates him that he looks forward to the dinner but here he is, eating the dinner alone. He knows he is at fault as he thinks about the situation, and he blames his wife because the situation doesn’t favor him.

“Oh, Teme~” A voice suddenly appeared.

The owner gushed at his arrival, “Lord Seventh!”

Sasuke did not even look away from his food, determined to finish as soon as possible and go home. Sakura or Sarada might go home and he doesn’t want to waste time making it up to them. He needs to apologize, especially to Sakura. His heart aches with the mere thought of his wife mad at him.

Several customers also greeted the blond Hokage, and some tourists fangirls over him.

He felt a hand tapped him at the back.

“Dobe…” He acknowledges Naruto’s presence, but still does not spare him a glance.

“One of the usual…” Naruto told the owner before going back to the raven-haired man, “Why are you eating here? Did Sakura-chan kick you out?”

“That would be better.” Sasuke mumbled but enough for Naruto to hear.

“What? Do you mean you kick Sakura-chan out of the house? Why are you the one out of the house, then?” The Hokage questions, concerned.

“Idiot. She walked out.” Sasuke told him, then ate another slurp of the noodles.

Naruto scoffed, “What did you do, stupid? You must’ve done something big for her to walk out... Wait! You did not have another affair, don’t you? Because I swear I will break your other arm!”

Sasuke glared at his best friend. He could never do that. The mere presence of the Konoha 11 still shifts him in an uncomfortable feeling and the whole socializing gives him a headache. Sasuke could never even stand women, except of course his wife and slightly the women of Konoha 11. Besides, Sakura is someone he holds dearly with his life. He will choose to die for her. She is his salvation, his light, his irreplaceable partner and his wife.

“I’m not answering that stupid question, Dobe.”

“I know it’s out of you. I’m just teasing you.” Naruto snickered.

His order arrived and he slurped his way through his bowl and even before Sasuke could finish his bowl, Naruto was already on the way for his second. Hn, something never changed.

Sasuke stood up after his meal, “I’m going.”

“Yeah, apologize to Sakura-chan and I am sure she will forgive you. Well I think she already did.” Naruto shrugs.

“Hn,” Sasuke then jumped to the roof all the way to his house.

“Sasuke-san did not leave his payment so I assumed you will pay for him, Lord Seventh.” Ayame told Naruto, smiling.

The blond’s eyes widened, “Teme!”

Sasuke just arrived and settled on the couch to sharpen his kunai, when he felt his wife’s chakra signature on the way to their home. A nervous feeling aroused him but the thing he is sure is he will apologize and make up to her.

The door opened and Sasuke unknowingly stood up to welcome her but he was met with a cold stare before she walked past him going to their shared bedroom.

Is she…?

Sasuke slowly walked up the hallway leaving all his precious kunai to go to his wife. He did not try to hide his footsteps instead he wanted her to know he is on the way to her. Sasuke opened their bedroom as Sakura closed their bathroom’s door.

He is sure he could smell a faint of sake, and knew immediately she had a drink with her best friend. The thing is Sakura could hold her liquor more than anyone he knows, so he is not worried about her drinking but the reason why she drank in the first place which is him.

Sasuke contemplates deeply whether or not to go after her in the bathroom. She might feel invaded, though they are married and have seen more than their naked bodies but this is different. Sakura might want space, nonetheless Sasuke also told himself that he will not waste time and apologized to his wife.

Sakura could sense Sasuke outside the bathroom, the shower pouring into her back. She breathes deeply, trying to calm herself that she should understand her husband but her thoughts always go back to the moment Sasuke did not even try to ask her first before starting to throw those words at her. For her, it says something about their marriage.

Her head snapped when the knob turned all of a sudden.

Sasuke’s breath hitched when he realized that the door was locked. They never lock their bathroom. Whenever they are using it, the other is always welcomed to come inside no matter what the circumstances. There’s no reason for them to hide anything anyways.

Is she that mad…?

“Sa-kura…” Sasuke tried to call on her, but she heed no response.

He sighed, this is becoming more uncomfortable. He is not used to this. Sakura never got mad at him this way, it’s always words and he will listen but now she is silent and he needs to do the words. Those words really hurt her.

Sakura took her time to relax on the water and Sasuke, whatever it may be, will not leave their room and missed the chance of talking this out to her. He could accept any curses, words or punches but not this silence from his wife.

The bathroom door finally opened. Sasuke stood up from the edge of their bed, his hands fisted on his sides. Sakura, on her towel only, did not even try to look at him and went to her cabinet to get some clothes.

“Sakura,” Sasuke called. Should he close the space between him and her back figure, or what? No, he already concluded he will receive her punches just to stop this silent treatment. But the moment he stepped is when she walked to the bathroom again with her clothes.

She will change clothes in the bathroom? Since when did they do that?

It is a tormenting minute for him, when Sakura went out of the bathroom she did not waste time on anything or anyone. She went to her side of the bed and laid down, with her back on him.

Sasuke can only watch her, when he decided to shower himself to cuddle his wife after and maybe he could apologize. He can’t believe his first night at home after months of longing for it will be like this.

His daughter is in another house sleeping while mad at him, and his wife is not speaking to him.

When he went out of the bathroom and changed to his sleepwear, he slowly laid beside his wife. Although his wife’s back is on him and she is almost at the edge of their bed, it only takes an arm wide for him to reach her. He scooted closer to her, his hand already on her waist.

“Go to sleep, Sasuke.” Her cold voice has frozen him.

“I-I am.” He stuttered. Uchiha Sasuke stuttered!

“Then sleep on your side. I am tired.”

A familiar pain shoots at him. Tired? What kind of tiredness?

“I’m sorry… for everything.” He whispered, hoping to melt her coldness.

He is met with silence. Sasuke laid on his back and stared at the ceiling, with his heavy heart.

“You said we will never sleep if we are not okay.” He mumbled to himself feeling so dejected and hopeless. He made plans for his stay this time for her, and he is sure this is not one of them.

Sleep is far for Sasuke, he only shifts his look to the ceiling to his wife’s back. She must’ve been really tired with the hospital and instead of easing it out for her, he did the opposite. His eyes darted on their window, the sun almost peaking and rising.

Sasuke gives up his sleep and proceeds to the kitchen. Instead of moping he probably should make breakfast for her for once. His thoughts went to the time he isn’t here and Sakura needs to wake up early to pack lunch for Sarada while she is also tired from her hospital shifts.

I am taking her for granted again.

He decided to cook some eggs and something else available in their kitchen. He is so busy that when the door of their house opened, it made him jump. Who was it? It’s only 5:00am, who goes to their home without even knocking at this hour today?

Although all questions were answered when his daughter appeared. She has a solemn look on her face. Her hands were on her front clasped together. She’s looking away while she stands outside the kitchen but enough for him to fully see her.

“Sarada, you’re home.” Sasuke said, “Good morning. I cooked breakfast.”

“Papa,” She called. Sasuke gave her his full attention. “I’m sorry for walking out on you yesterday. I didn’t mean it but I am just so upset and I am sorry that I didn’t put it on your point of view. I know now that you only wanted to spend as much time with me now that you’re home. I’m so so-”

Sarada stopped when his father crouched down and using his only arm, he wrapped it around her and embraced her.

“No, Sarada. I’m sorry, for everything.”

Sarada frowned, “But Papa-”

“It’s okay.”

She embraced him back before she pulled away, “Papa, why do I smell something burning?”

The two were in the kitchen waiting for Sakura to wake up. Sasuke offers Sarada to eat first since she needs to go later for his morning training but his daughter insists on waiting for her Mama. He checked the time and it’s almost 6am and he knows that anytime Sakura will wake up.

“Papa, do you think Mama will talk to you after this breakfast?” Sarada asked him.

Sasuke took the burden of telling his daughter the situation he is in. Of course, his daughter understands her mother’s reaction to Papa, but she also knows her Papa’s side. All she wants is for the two to reconcile since her Papa will only be here for a week.

“I don’t know. She is stubborn, but I hope so.” He admits.

Sarada felt happy seeing his father agitated to her Mama. He looked so nervous because Mama was not talking to him. It felt nice to see him as a father in the house today.

To Sasuke, this is probably the most uncomfortable he ever felt inside this house. The house is where he is the most comfortable at, where he can freely express himself to his wife and daughter. However, since he acted like a jerk he knew he had all the right to be uncomfortable since Sakura rarely did not talk to him. They always reconcile at the end of the day. This is the first time in their marriage that he felt heavy sleeping at their home.

“Papa, calm down.”

“Hn,” But Sasuke can’t stop feeling nervous because he is. Sarada watched him, and if his eyes weren't playing to him he could see the amusement in it.

The door creaked open, making Sasuke abruptly stand up and turned the coffee maker on for her. He waited for her to appear and she did. She is all prepped up for her day at the hospital.

“Mama, good morning!” Sarada greeted her mother.

“Oh Sarada, you arrived early? Good morning.” Sakura smiled at her daughter. She still did not see his husband, but when she turned she saw him warily watching her. He is standing beside the island where a coffee is being brewed.

“Papa prepared breakfast for us today! Let’s eat all together, Mama.” Sarada cheerily said.

“Your Papa did?” Sakura looked from her daughter to his husband. Her eyes shift to the feast on their dining table. Sasuke prepared all this early? The one who loves to sleep in?

Sarada nodded with a grin, “He did. It looked so delicious, isn’t Mama?”

“It is. Have you eaten, Sarada?” Sakura asked. She slowly went to her place and sat at the chair in front of the feast.

“Not yet, Mama. I think we all should eat together since Papa is here!” Sarada seated beside her mother, “Papa, the coffee!”

Sasuke jumped and quickly got Sakura’s coffee, then put his own next. He placed the mug beside her. His eyes did not leave her.

“Your favorite.” He murmured.

“Thank you, Sasuke.” Her wife almost whispered the words. Sarada jumped out of her chair and went to the refrigerator, probably getting her milk.

“Your welcome, Anata.” Sasuke took the chance to be out of their daughter’s hearing, and said her endearment for him.

Sakura looked baffled. She looked at his husband.

“I’m sorry…” Sasuke whispered.

Sakura smiled. Her hand went on top of Sasuke’s hand on the table.

“You’re forgiven, Anata. Good morning.”

“Good morning, Sakura.” He mumbled. Sasuke looked at her daughter who’s back was at them, she’s taking her time on her milk huh?

Sasuke leaned forward and captured her wife’s lips on a quick but full mouthed kiss. Sakura smiled after and grinned.

“Are you really Sasuke-kun?” She teased.

Sasuke stands straight, “Tch, stop it.”

He went to get his coffee, but the moment he turned his back from his wife a smile played on his lips. Unfortunately, he caught his daughter’s smirking at him and he went back frowning.

“I love mornings like this, don’t you Mama?” Sarada said, going back to the table. Sasuke followed and joined his family on their breakfast as a family.

#sasusaku #sasusaku fanfic #sasusaku fanfiction #sasusaku drabble #sasusaku one shot #uchiha sakura #uchiha sasuke #uchiha sarada #uchiha family #naruto #boruto #sakura sasuke #uzumaki naruto #yamanaka ino #konoha

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laughingphoenixleader · 3 years

Text

Here’s another full-fledged fic, friends!

Pairing: Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla

Rating: G

A/N: This one’s set the night of Season 3, Episode 3: The Holocrons of Fate. This is my vision of how Kanera dealt with the whole K-disappearing-for-six-kriffing-months thing. Enjoy and feel free to leave feedback if the Force calls you to!

@kanerallels <3

Hera Syndulla can’t wield the Force.

Not even a little bit.

But even so, she’s been told that she has a real talent for sensing other people’s emotions.

It started when she was a little girl—a knot in her stomach or some tension in her lekku would appear out of nowhere. She’d suddenly feel frustrated, sad, or afraid without understanding why. Except for times during puberty and her time of month—unfortunately, Hera wasn’t exempt from actual mood swings—those feelings that came out of the blue were never hers at all. When these unexplained emotions appeared within her, Hera would come to find out that someone close to her was struggling with something that had induced the exact feeling that Hera had experienced. So, she was often able to figure out what the people around her were feeling before they understood it themselves. It even, on occasion, happened with complete strangers.

Over time, she even became capable of knowing whose wave of emotions she was being hit by. Everyone’s felt slightly different. Emotional intensity varied from person to person, as did how they felt their emotions. Some beings felt their emotions pounding in their temples, others carried their stress in their shoulders, while others’ feelings made knots in their stomachs materialize. Hera became such an expert on discovering how each person was feeling that she’d often greet a friend or family member by asking why they were feeling so angry, sad, or afraid. The closer she was to a person, the more sensitive she was to their emotions, and the stronger they felt to her.

Hera has never been as in touch with anyone’s emotions as she is with those of Kanan Jarrus.

During the six months when he distanced himself from Hera and the rest of his family, she had always known when the nightmares had come. But he had never come to find her like he used to when the terrors struck. Hera could feel the pull to him—it was always present, no matter how she denied it—growing inside of her until it was almost unbearable, but she had steeled herself and remained where she was (usually the pilot’s seat). She spent plenty of nights staring off into the stars like she and Kanan used to do together, feeling the pain of doing nothing gnawing at her soul. But her respect for Kanan’s desires and needs outweighed it all. She knew him better than anyone else, so she could tell that he didn’t want her help right then. If he had, he would have come and found her. He had to come to her on his own time.

For six months, Kanan hadn’t wanted her help. He hadn’t wanted her.

Hera had to keep telling herself that this hadn’t broken her heart.

When she feels the sickening wrench of panic in her chest while sitting in the pilot’s chair on Atollon, though, she knows in her core that this time is different. This time, he needs her.

In an instant, she’s jumped to her feet, placed her datapad on the floor of the cockpit, and is slamming the button on the Ghost’s controls that opens the door to Kanan’s cabin. No one but her knows that any of the cabin door locks can be overridden from the cockpit, and she plans on keeping it that way.

She’s in his cabin in a flash, heart racing and Kanan’s fear coursing through her veins. She can hear him tossing and turning in the dark as she presses the button to turn on the lights. The dark-haired Jedi in the bottom bunk is drenched in sweat, the sheets twisted around his thrashing form. His scarred eyes are shut tightly. Hera realizes that, though he returned from his self-imposed exile several days ago and lost his sight six months ago, she hasn’t seen him without some sort of blindfold or mask covering his eyes since the incident. His face is twisted into an agonized expression.

Hera runs to his side. “Kanan,” she tries to call him from whatever world of horrors he’s trapped in. “Kanan, wake up!”

The Jedi’s whole body immediately responds to her voice, turning towards her and stilling slightly. Kanan’s always told her that he loves the sound of her voice. So she keeps talking.

“Don’t worry, everything’s fine.”

Kanan’s face twists again, and he seems to look around searchingly, though his eyes are still closed. His body is shaking, his fear palpable.

“It’s me, Kanan, I’m right beside you; you’re safe.”

His eyes fly open.

Kanan’s eyes, eyes that Hera could have stared into forever (though she had usually done her best not to think about that), eyes full of beautiful, vibrant aquamarine, are now pale and colorless.

Hera scolds herself for the lump in her throat that forms. It doesn’t matter. This shouldn’t upset me. Am I really that shallow?

She shakes off the sudden wave of sorrow and focuses on Kanan.

“Hera?” he calls for her, still searching. His face fills with panic again. “Where are you?”

“Look at me—“

Hera stops short.

That was how she had always drawn him from his nightmares before. Look at me, she’d tell him. I’m here. She’d turned the light on for this exact purpose when she’d entered, forgetting for a moment that everything had changed.

She’ll have to get creative this time.

“I can’t!” Kanan cried. “I can’t anymore, Hera, it’s gone—“

“I know, I know—“

“You’re so far away,” his voice breaks as he speaks.

Hera moves closer. “No. I’m right here, Kanan.”

“No,” he says miserably. “You’re gone—you left me—everyone left me—I’m useless, I’m broken, no one needs me anymore—it’s too late—“

His voice, full of anguish, breaks again and his body shakes with tears that he is no longer able to shed. Hera forgets that he broke her heart, that he left them all, that the deepening relationship between them had suddenly become nonexistent. The man she loves is hurting, and she’s going to fix that. Or, at least, help him through it.

She goes back to the door, turning off the lights so she’s forced to see how he sees. Then she climbs into the bunk beside him.

His body is racked with sobs as she places a hand on his cheek. He gasps at her touch.

“Kanan,” she says in her most soothing, reassuring tone—the one that has never failed to calm him before—“do you feel me?”

“Hera,” he whispers, filled with relief, and sounding…awestruck, for some reason.

“It’s me,” she tells him comfortingly, emphasizing her next words. “I never left you, and I never will.”

Kanan begins to mumble her name, one of his hands finding its way on top of hers, the other holding onto her forearm for dear life. The way he says her name always makes her heart race, though she’s never really understood why. No one else pronounces it like that…the way he speaks out the two syllables somehow sounds and feels like a caress. He begins to speak hastily; desperately.

“I can still fight for the Rebellion—I have the Force, it’ll help me see—I’m not truly blind because I can see myself.”

“I believe you, Kanan,” Hera presses her forehead against his. “You’re not useless. We’re never giving up on you.”

Kanan feels her arm, touches her shoulders, his hands seeming to be on a mission to make sure she’s really there. When they near her lekku, Hera moves them away. He’s touched them before, with her permission. That first time he did was the best nights she’d ever had…and so was every other night he’d done it again. Now that he’s been gone for so long, and he clearly doesn’t want her…

Focus on your mission. He needs you—right here; right now.

Hera slips out of her thoughts and feels Kanan place his hand on the side of her face for a moment, then take her in his arms and hold her close. He presses his forehead to hers. Their closeness makes Hera’s heart attempt to catch up to Kanan’s pounding one.

Slowly, his body relaxes. His heavy breathing evens.

Hera relaxes, too. More than she has in six months.

She hasn’t let herself realize how much she’s missed the complete safety she always feels in his arms. She lets him hold her, tucking her head underneath his. Kanan makes a noise of discomfort, and she smiles softly, placing her forehead against his again. This has always been the position they’ve used when comforting each other. Kanan sighs contentedly.

Eventually, he stirs, and she knows he’s emerged from the nightmare.

“Hey,” Kanan greets her, the panic gone from his voice, gentleness and awkwardness taking its place.

There has never been awkwardness between them. Not like this.

Hera lifts her head from his. “Better now?” she asks him.

He shudders. “That’s an understatement.”

Hera strokes his cheek in reply. The last six months had seemed to fade into oblivion during the last few minutes, but now she feels the shards of pain return.

Will he ask me to leave?

“Hera…” he says her name for the thousandth time that night. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” she responds quietly.

They don’t move from their positions.

After a moment, he continues tentatively. “You don’t have to stay.”

Hera can still feel the remains of her anger towards him from several days before cutting into her, but the image of his tortured face and voice from earlier are seared into her mind.

“Do you want me to leave?” she asks gently.

His arms involuntarily tighten around her.

She laughs softly in spite of it all. Though her hurt and anger is returning, she’s delighted that he wants her beside him.

“I’m staying.”

Hera realizes that he’s been holding his breath when he resumes breathing again. His pulse speeds up, though it isn’t pounding frantically like it was earlier.

The night he’d come back, they’d had their worst fight to date. Once they were alone in his room, she’d tried—Kanan would chastise her for using that word—to hold her emotions back, to be understanding, but her hurt had led to anger, and it had burst out of her, as it often did. Words had spilled out of her, words she’d bottled up inside her for the last six months. She’d said things she knew she’d regret, things that she could see cutting through him. But her own pain had blinded her in that moment. She’d kept going for those six months, never stopping long enough to deal with her hurt, so it had only festered. Kanan had been defensive, stony-faced, his arms crossed, and that had only enraged her further.

Then, today, after several days of avoiding each other, Maul had attacked the Ghost. Throughout the experience, Hera’s lekku had burned with the knowledge that her last interaction with Kanan, besides a short phrase here and there, had been full of biting words and simmering hurt.

She’d spent the hours after Kanan had rescued her and the others contemplating out what to say and how to apologize. She’d been in the middle of doing so when the wrench of terror sent her straight to his room.

The fight had ended with her snapping, “Don’t pretend you still want me. You proved that that wasn’t true when you abandoned me—abandoned us for half a year.” Her voice had broken against her will. “You didn’t even say you were leaving. Or when you’d be back.” Then she’d slammed on the button to close her door in his face, blinking furiously to hide the scorching tears in her eyes. Hera had slid down the wall, then spent the rest of that night finally letting the tears she’d held back spill out of her.

“You…you want to stay?” Kanan now asks her uncertainly. “Everything you said several nights ago—it all makes sense, and I’m so sorry.” His earnestness and guilt rolls off of him as he continues. “I understand if you don’t forgive me; I know I hurt you—I was gone for so long—“

Hera interrupts softly. “I forgive you.”

He stops his uncomfortable, awkward squirming.

“You do?”

His tone is so full of uncertainty and hope that Hera’s heart melts.

“I do,” she tells him gently. “For everything.”

Kanan begins to protest, torture and regret emanating from his voice, even as Hera can feel some of the tension begin to drain out of him. “No, Hera, you shouldn’t forgive me so easily. I don’t deserve that. After all these years, I just left. The way I made you feel…” Kanan’s voice wavers before he continues. “I thought that the Force was telling me to spend time alone—that was my excuse. But I distanced myself from the Force, from you, from everyone—and I don’t even know why.” He shakes his head, incredulous at himself, then desperately starts to explain. “I couldn’t handle any responsibilities or obligations. My feelings took over—I thought I was useless, that I was a failure because of my blindness—my depression overwhelmed me. I was lost—lost again, like I was when you found me on Gorse.” Kanan’s still holding her, but his embrace feels almost fragile, like he’s afraid that she’ll rip herself away from him at any second. “I thought I had grown since then, that it would never happen again. It wasn’t just that I lost my vision—it was that Ahsoka is gone, that we lost against that Sith Lord—” Kanan heaves a sigh, one heavy with self-hatred. “And now I’m making it about me again.”

Hera listens intently. He’s clearly been carrying this within him for too long. “It’s all right,” she reassures him quietly. “Talk to me.”

“I never stopped wanting you,” he says in a rough voice, one filled with sincerity and raw emotion, and Hera’s broken heart skips a beat. “And I know that that doesn’t seem true, because I still stayed away.” He’s quiet for a moment. Hera can practically hear the gears in his mind turning as he works to verbalize and explain. “I couldn’t face you. Not when I felt so lacking, and you’re so…so capable, so impactful, so successful.“

Hera nearly protests at this, but she stays silent for his sake, knowing that her interruption won’t be helpful to him right now.

“I was ashamed. Ashamed of my weakness. Ashamed that I didn’t sense Maul coming, that I didn’t stop him somehow. And…I couldn’t face the pain of not being able to see you. I didn’t want to hold you back or burden you, or make you feel like you had to let me tag along on missions. I thought that you were better off without me in your way.”

Hera’s heart is reeling and rejoicing at the fact that she is still wanted, that he never really rejected her, but she also knows that he’ll only keep spiraling downward if she doesn’t interject at the right time—which is now.

“You don’t have to explain it all to me,” she tells him sincerely, though the still-angry side of her screams that that isn’t true.

“I’m just trying—I just want you to know that…that I still love you, Hera.”

The earnestness in his voice and the admission of “I love you” does it. Hera can feel her shattered, rejected heart begin to heal. What he says next only soothes it further.

“The depression drowned everything out—but sometimes I would hear your voice, or see your face in my mind, and that kept me from losing all hope. From giving up on everything.”

Hera’s heart swells, and tears spring up in her own fully whole eyes. She places her forehead against his again. His breath catches, but he finishes speaking. “I understand if you don’t feel the same way. I don’t know why you would, after how much I hurt you. I…I can tell you’re heartbroken, Hera.” His body starts shaking again, as if he’s living inside of another nightmare. “And knowing I did that to you—just because all I could think about was myself and what I needed, rather than what you and the rest of the crew needed—“ Hera can feel the unshed tears again as he begins to apologize, again and again, until he loses the ability to speak. She gently cradles his head, stroking his disheveled hair, her own healing heart throbbing at his anguish. She brushes her thumbs over where the tears would be, if everything were different.

“I’m too full of mistakes,” he sobs. “You deserve much better than someone like me.”

Hera decides that now she’s on a mission—a mission to stop her Jedi’s spiral of self-hatred.

“Listen to me, Kanan Jarrus,” she tells him in a firm but kind tone, as she continues to stroke his hair. “You’re no worse than anyone else. We all make mistakes. We’re all selfish at times. Even those of us who devote our lives to helping others sometimes hurt them instead. Caring about someone means helping them move on from their mistakes and make it right. What kind of people would we be if we never gave others a second chance?”

His dry shaking begins to stop, and Hera can feel him listening in rapt attention.

“You know I don’t give up—and I never gave up on you. I never will. Yes, you’ve hurt me, but I care enough about you to forgive you. Who you are right now is worth forgiving. You’re worthy of forgiveness, of my choosing you, even though you aren’t perfect.” Hera’s words seem to hit hard, since Kanan’s breath catches again. She continues genuinely and tenderly, “Even if I met the most perfect person in the galaxy, I’d still choose you instead. You’re truly good, Kanan.”

After a moment of silence, Kanan whispers, “You really mean that?”

Hera lifts his face and presses a kiss to his forehead. “Of course I do. And I really do forgive you. If you’ll forgive me for hurting you instead of listening to you over the last few days.” Now her own voice is colored with remorse. “I should have been there for you, helping you readjust.”

“But, Hera, I understand why you were angry. I deserved it.”

“That doesn’t make it right,” Hera points out. “Will you forgive me?”

Immediately, he replies, “Yeah. I forgive you.”

Then his hands move for the first time since his nightmare. He places one on her cheek, while the other moves to the small of her back. Hera’s heart begins to pick up speed as his face nears hers. “Is it all right if I…?” he asks in a whisper, ever respectful of her boundaries. In answer, Hera moves her own face closer to his, and their lips meet.

Six months is a long time.

But the longer you’re deprived of something, the sweeter it is when you finally get to experience it again.

The first thing Hera feels is the warmth. It spreads throughout her whole body, especially her lekku, chasing away the emptiness and loneliness that became the new normal in Kanan’s absence. One of his hands caresses her cheek, while the other pulls her close, resting on the small of her back. She pulls the band from his now-destroyed ponytail, slipping it expertly onto her wrist (she’s had plenty of practice) and threading her fingers into his hair. She can feel him smile into her lips when she does so, which makes her smile in return. Kanan seems to get a burst of excitement, a delighted gasp escaping him. Hera pulls away just enough to ask, “what is it?”

He responds, his voice charged with enthusiasm and love,

“I got to feel you smile again.”

A wave of emotion sweeps over Hera, her heart squeezing at the overwhelming amount of sweetness infused into that small sentence. She presses her lips to his again, beaming just for him. Kanan laughs giddily, a sound of pure joy.

Hera hasn’t heard him laugh in so long.

So she can’t help but laugh with him. A moment later, his thumb begins stroking her cheek more urgently. She gently breaks the kiss to ask, “What is it, love?”She can feel his giddiness rise at the term of endearment, which makes her beam again. He murmurs in a voice filled to the brim with gratitude, “Thank you, Hera. For forgiving me. I thought that I’d lost this. I thought that I’d messed up too badly to ever earn your affection again.” Misery seems to overwhelm him at the thought.

“There’s no need to earn it,” she assures him, placing her other hand, the one not entwined in his hair, on his chest. “Honestly, I couldn’t take it from you if I tried,” she confesses.

“Are you saying that you’re hopeless, Hera Syndulla?” The cocky slyness, which had made up the Kanan Jarrus that she first met all those years ago on Gorse, fills his voice.

She rolls her eyes, then remembers that the lights are out, and that he can’t see her anyway. And yet—

“You just rolled your eyes, didn’t you?”

“You earned it,” she deadpans.

He laughs again and somehow pulls her closer, so that their foreheads are touching again.

“There’s the Hera I remember,” he declares, tenderness and the classic mischievousness returning.

She showcases her own mischievous streak in her reply. “Missed me, love?”

“Every second,” he answers tenderly.

“I missed you, too,” she tells him, warmth filling her tone and her soul.

That sly mischievousness again. “Especially my sense of humor, right?”

“Actually, that’s what I missed the least,” she switches back into deadpanning.

“Hey!” he protests, his tone a convincing one of feigned offense, but then it makes way for the trademark slyness. “But you did miss it.”

Hera groans. “That is not what I said.”

“You’re not denying it,” Kanan teases.

After a moment, he declares, “I’ve finally found the one benefit that comes with being blind.”

“What’s that?” she asks, resigning herself to whatever nonsense he’s about to spill.

She can hear the grin in his voice. “Now I can’t see it when you glare at me.”

Hera rolls her eyes, then says in a playful tone, “But you can feel my anger in the Force, right?”

Kanan’s silent for a moment. “It’s impossible not to.” He shudders, mortified at the thought of it.

“Kanan Jarrus, you’re a Jedi Knight and a veteran of the Clone Wars, and you’re afraid of me?”

He lets out a huff of laughter, like the answer is obvious. “You bet.”

Hera’s voice is devious. “You should be.”

“Everybody should be. You’re terrifying, Hera.”

She chuckles, shaking her head slightly, her forehead still pressed to his. “You’re exaggerating.”

“Come on, I never exaggerate.”

After a moment of silence on Hera’s part, he amends reluctantly, “okay, I usually don’t exaggerate. You’ve seen how the kids and I look at you when you’re furious with us.”

Hera considers this. She always knows that when she gives members of her crew that glare, they’ll do whatever she says. Usually. “Maybe I should use it on whoever’s trying to attack us sometime.”

“You should. Just to see what would happen.”

She laughs. “I don’t even need a blaster. No armor can protect those stormtroopers from my death glare.”

“You better believe it,” Kanan murmurs, stroking the small of her back.

“I sure am glad you’re not angry with me anymore,” he adds after a bit of comfortable silence.

“Me too, love.”

Chills ripple over him at the term of endearment, and she chuckles lightly, a bubble of joy rising inside of her at how much he treasures her little ways of showing him how much she loves him.

Hera has no clue how long they stay like this, stealing kisses, sharing little touches, slipping in and out of conversation (complete with plenty of smiles and eyerolls). What she does know is that the distance between her and Kanan has disappeared. The emptiness and feelings of being incomplete have been replaced by fullness and completeness. No, they aren’t as close as they were before Malachor, but Hera has faith that that will change over time. What matters most is that she knows that Kanan is happier than he’s been in a long time. Eventually, they drift off into sleep, still holding each other close. Their dreams are peaceful, for there’s no room for nightmares when nothing but long-awaited contentment fills them both to overflowing.

When morning comes, the members of the Ghost Crew don’t need to be able to sense each others’ emotions to know that things have finally changed for the better.

The family is whole again.

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holykillercake · 3 years

Text

Coin Stealer

Trafalgar Law x psychic!Reader

word count: 3.3k

summary: Law does not believe that you can see dead people, so you crochet him the strange-looking beanie of the strange-looking man that walks around the Polar Tang.

highlight: ¨I´ll give a chance to the uniform, and I´ll only address you as Captain when you behave as Captain.¨

warning: You are entering Trafalgar´s room.

notes: Bello, ma people! This is the 3/3 part of a lovely anon request in which the s/o makes them a thing with crochet! This time is Dr. Heart Stealer edition!! I really enjoyed writing this, and it got a little long, but I did not want to cut off important things. Anyway, I hope you like it!

𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬, 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞!

¨Hey, Bepo! Have you seen Law?¨

¨Y/N! I don´t know where he is... I´m sorry.¨

¨Oh, it´s ok!¨ you patted the mink´s shoulder, giving him a warm smile.

You were never a big fan of his constant apologetic personality, but you couldn´t deny that you missed it during your time apart from the crew.

The Heart Pirates had parted ways a long time ago when your Captain decided that the time to put his life-long plan in action had finally come. The crew split into three parts, and each one followed a different path.

After the sudden disappearance of the Strawhats, the Paramount War, the Rocky Port Incident, and Law obtaining his title as a Warlord of the Sea, you were the first to depart, remaining in Sabaody Archipelago, waiting for the owners of the Thousand Sunny to return. You fought alongside a fishman called Hacchin, a weird guy that reminded you of Black Leg and other allies to protect the ship.

Next to leave was Law, who sailed to Punk Hazard, where he formed a partnership with a crazy scientist bastard. Then the rest of the crew went on their own towards the island where you would meet once the plan was concluded.

The trajectory was not smooth by any means, but you did it, all of you. And now you feasted along with the Strawhats, celebrating whatever it was that you did not understand. Maybe they were like that, or maybe they didn't understand the risks you would take from now on.

Anyway, the crew seemed to be in need of some music and fun, and you were too busy looking for your Captain to care about that.

In the midst of the evening breeze, the crackling of the fire, and the barrels of beer crashing in celebration, you saw the answer you were looking for.

Of course.

¨If I didn´t love you...¨ you growled as you made your way out of the island to reach the Polar Tang. And let´s face it, that was a detour.

You went straight to your room, where Law would probably be sipping coffee, napping, or just running from the crowds. And just like you, it has been months since he stepped on his own ship and slept in his own bed.

So maybe you could cut him some slack.

However, as you approached the room, there was no smell of coffee. No smell of coffee and no light snoring. Just a stillness carried with heavy emotions and your boyfriend, sitting in the dim light holding tight the crochet piece you gave him years ago. You swayed in place, expecting that thing you made to provoke him to be at the sea bottom.

¨Wondering why I kept this?¨ he asked.

¨Not really.¨ you replied. ¨But I am surprised. Am I disturbing?¨

¨You never do.¨

You jumped on the bed, sitting beside him and resting your head on his shoulder.

¨YN-ya... do you know how he...¨ the question struggled to come out.

¨Peaceful.¨

¨Hm.¨ he nodded.

¨I don´t like when he smiles, though. It creeps me out.¨ His body bounced slightly as he joined you in a chuckle.

¨Remember when you gave me this?¨

¨Of course, you almost kicked me out of the ship!¨ you giggled with the memory.

¨You were really annoying back then.¨

¨Hey! Objection!¨

¨Objection rebuffed.¨ he smirked and moved on the bed, pulling you to lay down on his chest.

You told him to shut up before cuddling in, not falling asleep immediately. None of you said much. Instead, you enjoyed the calming and comfortable silence of each other´s company.

It has been a while since you had that.

You remember every moment of your early days as a Heart Pirate. You and Law hadn´t started on the best terms, but he needed you - well, your skills - and you were given a good deal.

The pivot of your history together began on a chain of coincidences. The first one being both of you docking on the same island. The second one was him finding a rare coin for his collection, the same one you would later slip into your pocket.

You wandered around towns using the beautiful art of distraction to get anything you wanted from anyone. Watches, necklaces, wallets, and, well, coins? It was all he had in his pocket, and since it was a cute one, you decided to keep it.

Some called you a thief. Some called you a burglar, and some may even have called you a big son of a bitch. But the thing they all had in common was that none of them knew exactly who they were calling those names.

The thing is, you messed up the first rule and made eye contact with him. Well, it was more of you not being able to take your eyes off of him. He stood out in the crowd, and you had gotten cocky. So when he later found out about the missing coin, it did not take him long to connect you to it.

A lot of things went through his mind. He felt frustrated because his Haki failed him, annoyed for the trouble he would have going after you, and intrigued by the touch so light he did not feel at all.

Or that is what he kept telling himself.

Yes, he was interested in someone with skills like yours, but maybe there was something else he would not admit. The way you looked at him as if you had deciphered his entire life and found the missing pieces of his puzzle. Even the ones he tried to hide.

That night he went out for your head. Or better, your heart, literally.

You were enjoying the comfort of your hotel room, eating some snacks, and playing with your new commemorative coin when he materialized himself by the bed. You instantly knew something was about to go down.

Oh, fuck.

That situation got pretty tense pretty quickly, both ends asking things, and no one willing to offer any answers. The stakes were high, glares cutting the air like blades. It did not help to ease the mood when in the sway of his hand your heart popped out of your chest.

Long story short, his plan was never to drag you to the Polar Tang. Law wanted you to go willingly, joining his crew in exchange for your heart. However, the unfortunate variable he did not consider in the equation was that you would not go down without a fight. So by the time he reached the ship, he noticed the gentle fresh breeze ruffling his hair.

You know, since his hair was usually covered by the hat.

...

THE FREAKING HAT!

The next morning when he returned, you were waiting for him with a satisfied smirk bending your lips, the hat on your head, and the coin dancing between your fingers.

At some point, you had stolen it, and once again, it passed unnoticed by him. That was not a good night for the Heart Pirates. And that was also the night Trafalgar Law realized a couple of things. The first, he needed you on his crew. And the second, you were going to be the death of him. Or maybe the aneurysm of him, he would not give you such credit.

¨You´re late.¨ you said, amused, and his grip tightened around the sword.

¨What´s your name?¨ he repeated the question you dodged several times during your last encounter.

¨What´s with the dog?¨ you pointed at the tall, white polar bear wearing a uniform. Law pursued his lips, breathing heavily through the nose.

¨I am B-¨

¨Bepo-ya don´t talk to he-¨

¨Your name is Bepoya?¨ you ignored the man, bumping into his shoulder as you walked towards the mink ¨Hi, I´m Y/N! Nice meeting you.¨

The polar bear looked back and forth at you and his Captain, not knowing how to behave in this situation, so he apologized and stepped farther back.

¨Alrighty, now that we are all introduced, shall we go?¨

¨What?¨

¨Come on, Law, focus.¨ you snapped your fingers multiple times, teasing him. ¨You came here to pick me up, right?¨

¨No. I want my hat back.¨ He tried to grab it, but you ducked in time, holding the hat on your head with both hands. It was so soft.

¨How about a trade? The coin for the hat.¨

¨How about my hat for your heart? Do this, and I won´t...¨ his words died in his mouth as he clutched his pockets.

¨Looking for this?¨ You held your heart, wrapped in a cold and gelatinous box that you retrieved when you bumped into him minutes earlier.

How could you fool him again? He kept seeking answers that explained why it was so easy for you to outwit him, and his expression showed.

¨You´re getting close, Law. Put your little trash can to work.¨ you tapped your temple, smiling mischievously at him.

¨YN-ya, you know I can kill you, right?¨

¨Yeah, but you won´t.¨

¨How do you know?¨

¨I got a sixth sense for these things.¨

The rest of the conversation did not take long to come to an end. Amid sarcastic comments and threats to each other's lives, what should have been the pinnacle of the moment became a random passage in the Heart Pirates´ logbook.

¨So, YN-ya, do you want to join us? You´re gonna have to wear a uniform and address me as Captain.¨

¨I´ll give a chance to the uniform, and I´ll only address you as Captain when you behave as Captain.¨

Law sighed, giving himself a carotid massage ¨Ok. Let´s go.¨

He walked a few steps ahead of you and Bepo, wondering why he spent so much effort on an arrogant thief that wouldn't even call him Captain.

You quickly became friends with the polar bear, even apologizing for calling him a dog. He strangely apologized for your apologies, culminating in what would almost make the notorious Surgeon of Death suffer a stroke.

¨What the hell is that?!¨ you shouted when the Polar Tang entered your field of vision ¨That´s not a ship!¨

What if I am claustrophobic?

The ya thing is a schtick?

Death? That´s a little borderline controversial for a doctor.

Trafalgar more like Trafraude!

On occasions like that, Law wondered how peaceful and quiet would be the sixth level of Impel Down. From a current perspective, your initial interaction served as a vaccine, creating the necessary antibodies Law would need to deal with future pirate alliances.

The crew got attached to you very quickly. Your adventurous spirit, your stunts, and street trades fascinated them. Losing bets against you seemed acceptable, your card tricks and the thing of guessing the numbers they thought was like fuel for a good day at work.

Law didn't seem to mind that much. After all, you wouldn't get him on his nerves if you were busy with them. However, one day, you let slip something that caught his attention.

¨YEAH! That´s exactly what she looked like! How did you do this?!¨

Law heard Shachi´s roar, followed by a wave of surprised ´ooh´s coming from the kitchen, where the majority of the crew hunched around the dinner table.

The doctor leaned against the door, silently observing what could possibly be more important than keeping the ship working. He had been drowning in files all night, and now he decided to have a coffee break. That mess early in the morning did not make him happy.

No one seemed to be too intimidated when he cleared his throat, announcing his presence. Everyone greeted him with smiling 'good mornings' and turned their attention back to you.

¨What is going on here?¨

¨Captain did you know Y/N can see dead people?!¨

The coffee left a bitter aftertaste on his mouth.

¨What?¨

¨Yeah, Captain!¨ Shachi yelled on Law´s face, earning a death glare ¨She just described my mom!¨

¨Really, Y/N-ya? Now you´re a magician and a psychic?¨ he asked, taking the seat across from you.

¨The perks of being me.¨ you shrugged.

¨Do you see more dead people here?¨

Yes

¨No. But you sound a little skeptical, Law.¨

It was way too early for that discussion, but your biological clock didn't seem to care. Whenever Law came with his teasing, you would be ready to strike back.

He gave everyone a lecture about empathic accuracy and how good you were reading cues communicated by words, emotions, and body language. Or some crap like that.

¨Ok, let me see if I got this right.¨ You shifted in the chair, hands moving in the air ¨You can pull organs out of people´s bodies, cut them in pieces without killing, switch their souls, but you do not believe that I can see dead people?¨

He tilted his head, but not giving you an exact answer.

¨Do you wanna know what I think?¨

¨No.¨

¨I´ll tell you anyway. I think you have something you don´t want people to know, like a soft spot or a tragic past.¨ you sought the answer in his eyes ¨I´m guessing a loved one who died?¨

Overall, he was not wrong. You were a master in reading people´s body language, but you were not a jackass. So when the slight twitch of his mouth cleared up your doubts, it was time to stop.

You knew how it felt, soft spots, tragic pasts, or late loved ones. There was no need to go further and throw more salt on his wounds. Hopefully, that taught him a lesson.

An awkward silence ensued while everyone watched the scene, uncertain how to act, fearful that an extra spark would make everything explode into massive destruction.

¨Whatever.¨ he sighed ¨Show´s over. We´ll be reaching land in a few days, and we should be preparing to dock.¨

When everyone left the kitchen to go about their businesses, you remained alone with the figure that constantly wandered the submarine. He didn't do it in a creepy way. Despite his extravagant makeup and the intimidating aura, he was not a bother.

And it wasn't like he was there all the time, definitely more than anyone else. His passages were guaranteed on the days when Law was more sensitive. For bad or for good. He would look after him from the distance like a parenting figure.

¨Who are you?¨ you murmured under your breath.

For the next few days, Law made sure you were too busy to foster discussions about dead people or paranormal abilities.

When your services stealing rare supplies or getting answers to your Captain's questions you weren't required, you would help him with mountains of paperwork.

Only this time, he had outdone himself.

He managed to assemble the annual check-up of the crew, the inventory packing list, and the update of the logbook at once. This last one could easily wait until after you docked. But that freaking workaholic sadistic surgeon would not let this opportunity slip. So you pulled several all-nighters writing, signing, and stamping, all without exchanging a single word.

When you emerged, a few miles from land, you barely enjoyed the fresh breeze and sunlight. The crew hopped around, getting ready to put their feet on the continent as you sat in the kitchen profusely grouchy.

Your brain was fried, burnt, carbonized.

¨You´re not coming?¨ Penguin asked, and you shook your head. ¨It´s been a while, Y/N, you should come.¨ you shook your head again. ¨I guess you´re not buying anything for the Captain´s birthday as well.¨

An incohesive question came out of your exhausted being. Penguin couldn´t help but feel sorry for you. ¨By the time his birthday comes up, we will be underwater, so everyone is preparing.¨

¨Do I have to?¨

¨No!¨ he chuckled ¨He doesn´t really like it, but we still buy him something.¨

¨Why?¨

¨´Cause he is a good Captain!¨ he said and sprunt out by the voice of someone calling him, waving goodbye at you.

It wasn't that you didn´t think Law was a good Captain. It was just an inherent nature of yours to clash every time you looked at each other.

But on such occasion, you could combine the useful with the pleasant. After all, you were grateful because he gave you friends. Of course, he was the unfortunate by-product that came with them, but you could handle him.

So fighting against your will to stay and sleep, you forced your way out to the solid ground, hoping to find the most random store someone could wish for, a haberdasher.

Much to your delight, you did it. You picked a burgundy color wool and the first hook you put your eyes on and returned to your soft bed.

The chances of you having scared your crewmates by staring at the blank for hours were high. In reality, you wanted to memorize and come up with a pattern for the strange-looking beanie that man wore.

It had no pompom at the top like Penguin´s. Instead, two long pieces of fabric ran down from each side with heart-like things hanging.

When the sixth day of the tenth month arrived, Law´s desk was cluttered with presents. You had decided to wait until you were done with work and heading to bed to give it to him.

After conquering that task, you locked yourself in your room, where you stayed until you had it finished. For some reason, you bothered to buy a box to put it in. Whatever.

On the sixth day of the tenth month, Trafalgar Law could not focus on work. Every slight movement of yours, every bathroom break got him jittery, rehearsing words that wouldn´t make you hate him more.

Not that you ever hated him, but you didn´t talk, so he didn´t know. After some time starting small talks and being ignored, you just gave up trying.

By the end of that night, he had given up too. So when you placed the golden-yellow box on his desk, he couldn´t vocalize his feelings. It became just another silent night.

Chests tight and hearts clogged with unspoken words.

Law did not work for the next couple of days, and if he left his room, no one saw. The gifts on his desk were not even opened. Everything was left the way it was.

Maybe you had crossed a line.

As you marched up to the room at the end of the hall, several paths popped into your mind. You could act like you didn´t care, so what if you left? You had been alone for so long, it wouldn't make any difference! Still, something was begging you to apologize. To ask to stay, because being there was good, everything you never knew you wanted.

You were ready to pack your bags and have your title as a Heart Pirate retracted when you woke up one morning, finding a note on your desk telling you to meet him in his room. Your nails dug into your sweaty palms. Where did this tightness in your chest come from?

When you set foot in the room, your eyes hovered around. It was the first time you saw Law's room. It was exactly how you thought it would be.

Keeping your gaze locked on his was more difficult. He was sitting in an armchair near the foot of the bed. From afar, his appearance remained neat, as always, but as you approached you saw the circles under his eyes even darker. A thing you didn't think was possible.

For the first time, you didn't know how to read his expression. And seeing him vulnerable like that made your stomach drop. So you prepared yourself for the worst. However, to your surprise, all he did was ask you questions.

No snarky remarks. You just talked.

That day something changed. And from that day on, Law had found someone to help him carry the unbearable weight he had on his shoulders, and you found a place to call home.

...

¨Y/N-ya.¨ he called you, who was a cuddle away from sleeping.

¨Hm?¨

¨Before you left, in Sabaody...¨

¨Uhm.¨

¨You stole the coin again, didn´t you?¨

You giggled and pulled the commemorative coin from your back pocket, snuggling closer to his body and feeling the vibration of his chest as he chuckled.

Extra notes: I hope you had enjoyed it! It came out a little too long, but I have been feeling like I´m limiting myself when it comes to the number of words... I don´t know, I´m confused.

Anyway, is that pink and red that I see on the horizon?

#one piece #one piece x y/n #trafalgar law #trafalgar d law x reader #law x reader #law #surgeon of death #heart pirates #bepo #penguin #shachi #worst generation #corasan #polar tang check-up #sabaody archipelago #warlords of the sea

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brownandblackpearls · 3 years

Text

🦇𝒯he 𝒱isitor (Alucard Tepes x BlackReader)

PART 1 SUMMARY:

While trying to escape the clutches of criminals and cutthroats, you stumble across a castle beyond imagination. The corpses staked at the front aren’t enough to keep you out. But after entering, you begin to wonder what you got yourself into, and what the castle is hiding within its walls...

─── Alucard x black female reader

─── imagery + fiction

─── explicit smut

─── TW// slight gore, general mentions of rapists// Fantasy, vampires, hurt/comfort, enemies-to-friends-to-lovers, magic user, cute bats, gardening, cooking, cottagecore MC, castlecore Alucard.

☾ next.

┌───────────━┿──┿━──────────┐

└───────────━┿──┿━──────────┘

You fight through the underbrush of the woods, hurrying as quickly as your feet will allow.

They’re on your trail.

You’ve been evading these criminals from the last town you’d passed through, but they just keep stalking after you. They’d been all too eager to see a lone, beautiful woman traveling with no companions, no guides, and no guardians.

They had tried and failed to corner you alone several times in the town and on the roads, but you haven’t made it this far on your own without some learned skills. A finger-bolt of lightning at one’s eye, a fire-heated palm tight on another’s wrist, swings of sharp dagger at all of their torsos, their throats.

Anything and everything to escape. It’s not your first sticky situation, and it probably won’t be your last.

You know how to be quiet. How to hide. And when it comes down to it, you know how to swindle and how to fight, if need be. You try not to resort to that, not out of compassion or concern for the heathens that try to best you...no. You just know that you’re not as skilled as some of the rigorously trained ex-militia and rogue bandits that prey on loners in towns and off the roads.

You don’t know exactly what they want. A woman to toss around between themselves and torture before they descend on you like wolves? A new girl to sell on the black market? A pretty decoy to get carts and wagons to stop on the roads, allowing them to abush, raid, rape and kill as they please?

Whatever it is that they want, you’re not giving it to them.

‘They’ll have to catch me, first.’

You duck and dodge branches, bobbing and weaving through the trees before the forest finally begins to clear. You keep your hand on your dagger’s hilt, just in case.

Who knows what hides in the woods?

Finally, you come to a clearing run through by a small creek. The dense woods have seemed to disperse here, and now all that you can spy are peaceful glens and swaying flowers. Deer jump away through the grass, hares run into their holes, and fish shine from the stream.

It feels…safe.

But you’re not one to be foolish, and so you continue on. Hoisting your basket closer, you can’t help but spy a garden as you pass through the glen.

Fat tomatoes hang on vine, bright orange carrot tops sprout from the soil, green onions, zucchini, berries and fruits….

…Someone has made a garden here. Hopefully if they’re the gardening sort, then they’re the safe sort. You quickly fill your basket with a few items, tuck some coins hidden near the stalks in apology for your ransacking, and carry on.

Finally, the glen ends, the forest stops entirely, and you stumble upon something entirely unexpected.

'A castle...? Out here in the middle of nowhere...?’

A grand, gothic castle of castles, spirals up towards the clouds in the sky. You gaze up at it in awe, sure that there is nothing else in the world quite so large or so spectacular. You’re certain that had the woods not been so oppressive and thick on the way in here, so wide and strenuous, that you would’ve spotted the castle for what it was miles and miles and miles ago.

You whistle low, impressed as you step forward. You take only a few steps before you stop.

A ripple in the wind draws your eye.

Two barely clothed bodies impaled on stakes tower before you, death etched onto their faces. The spikes go through them, hidden by the soiled shifts they wear and rising high up and out through their mouths. It is a grisly sight indeed. Unfortunately, you’re no stranger to ‘grisly’ in these lands.

You move slower, more carefully than before.

Assessing the bodies, the blood is long dried on the stakes and the petrified flesh. Most of the meat is gone, pecked away by crows most likely, and the flesh that remains is hard and dried out.

You have dealt with your fair share of monsters, but you’re not too sure you want to risk running into the one who did this. It was done with malice, strength, and a raw fury. A nonchalance for human life, it seems. Much like the same nonchalance shared by the evil men you run from.

You hear faint voices call from the trees.

They’ve tracked you. And they’re coming closer.

“We can’t come here. It’s cursed ground. Don’t you know who this castle used to belong to?”

“Yeah, and they’re dead. No one’s seen em’ for ages. But I see little footsteps. Have a feeling the lass went this way.”

You freeze, glancing between the bodies, the huge castle door before you, and the mouth of the forest.

It’s the castle and its possible hidden horrors, or the men on your trail.

“Skin like ebony, that one. Pretty mouth, doe eyes. She’d sell for a pretty penny.. We wouldn’t have to raid for months.”

“…Or we could keep her to warm the cold nights.”

Your mind races, trying to choose.

You could fight the men, still. But there are many of them, and just one of you. Your magic is somewhat abysmal without knowledge to guide you, and your dagger won’t measure up to prove the little sword skills you do possess. Your words will probably not get you out of this one, either. Not this time.

“I’d rather make her scream.”

“You would like that, wouldn’t you Macon? But you did that to the last one, and now we’re out here hunting a new lass instead of enjoying the old one.”

‘That’s it,’ you decide.

The castle it is.

You sprint away from the woods as fast as your billowing cloak and dress will allow, ignoring the foul smell of decay and passing between the bodies. You feel as though you’ve irrevocably crossed a line that shouldn’t be crossed, a decision made that can’t be taken back.

You will live with it, you decide. Better that, than capture.

Racing to the front of the grand doors, larger than the largest buildings you’ve witnessed in life before this day, you bang raptly against the wood and stone.

For a moment, nothing happens and you feel as though you will be caught right at the footsteps of this castle.

Then, you hear a doldrum, a creak and whirring of machinery and mass movement. The door shifts open just slight enough for you to slide through, making a gigantic noise in it’s wake.

Quick as wind, you push through and fall to the floor, turning to see the grand door begin to shut closed behind you.

The men stand before the staked bodies, unwilling to pass them and watching you as the doors close you out of their sight.

“You’d be better off with us murderers and thieves, woman!” One shouts futilely. “For even our hearts aren’t as black as the monster’s in those walls!”

The door shuts him and the rest out. You harrumph and stand, wiping the dust off your dress and looking away.

Fuck him. And fuck his threats, and fuck his horrible little friends. Any black-hearted beasts you come across, you could handle well enough.

At least…that’s what you tell yourself to keep a brave face. Better that than nothing.

You look around.

The inside of the castle is larger than life, grand, and dark. Everything is clean and without dust as you would’ve expected from such a structure…an army couldn’t keep this clean…yet it feels unlived in.

For a moment, there is nothing but heavy, oppressive silence. You listen for a breath, a sound, but can hear nothing outside of your own increasing heartbeat.

You turn, looking to the top of the staircase.

Your eyes tell you there is nothing there, but your instincts tell you something else.

Suddenly, the lights of a thousand candles sweep on throughout the grand hall, illuminating a massive stone staircase and a figure standing at the top of it. You have very good sight, but the room is so large that you can barely make out the figure, even with the candlelight.

Nothing is said, the figure is motionless, and you begin to tremble. This must be the one who lives in this place…not an intruder or a vagrant. You don’t know how you know, but the figure is too large, too looming, and too confident even in its vagueness of detail for you to assume it to be anything other than the owner.

The one who likely staked those unfortunate souls outside the walls.

You feel as if the mysterious figure is waiting for something, and you don’t know what to say. But something must be said.

Your voice is as steady as your fear will allow.

“My name is ———. I come from afar. I am…I am seeking refuge…if you will have me.”

“Refuge from the men outside.”

The voice carries through the empty hall, lilting, low, and deadly. You hear hints of refinement in the speech but they are not enough to hide the white hot lethalness you sense underneath. A rage that you cannot even begin to place or name.

“Y-yes,” you stumble embarrassingly, affected, “from the men outside. They followed me here. I have nowhere to go.”

“And so you feel entitled to my protection.”

“No!’ You exclaim, shaking your head. You stopped expecting assistance from people long ago. The life of a lonely wanderer is just that...lonely. “I inconvenience you, and for that I apologize sincerely. Just…just refuge. I can be on my way after they depart.”

“To where...?” The disembodied voice says as calm as a pond at night, yet you feel the ripples that lie beneath.

“Nowhere,” you breathe.

“…And you come from?” The figure disappears like a mist, yet the voice remains.

“I…nowhere,” you gasp honestly, truly afraid now.

“Lies.” The voice spits viciously, sounding closer then far away, as if it’s bouncing around the space of the great hall.

“It’s t-true!” You insist, your trembling hands reeling in towards your chest in a futile attempt of protection from the unseen danger. “I hail from nowhere! I belong to nowhere! I have little. Just refuge, sir. A night, even!”

“I could grant you refuge,” the voice assumes, “or I could send you back out to those men and be bothered with none of you.”

“You wouldn’t,” you breathe, daring a chance to hope.

The voice chuckles humorlessly, dry as dead leaves.

“Perhaps,” it toys. “But I also wouldn’t allow a mysterious woman of mysterious origins to stay in my castle, learn of my ways, only to run back to the outside world and send a horde of farmhands sprinting over to slay me. Wouldn’t be the first time. No, I think I’ll keep you instead. Are you willing to make that bargain with the Devil?”

You pause, your mind blank. You search for an answer to reason with this...this...your thoughts race.

“Look, I know I’ve come into your abode unannounced and rather…rather rudely, making demands, but I must implore you—“

“—Answer me!” the voice barks, making you nearly jump out of your skin.

'That’s it.’

“You’re a prick, you know that?!” You blurt.

“…” You can hear the confusion in the empty air. “…Pardon?”

You push on, figuring that if you’re going to be staked by the unseen castle-owner or given up to the men outside, or toyed with any longer by any of this nonsense, that you may as well speak your mind one last time.

“You know good and goddamn well that I am not running into a fantastical, creepy castle of myth decorated by corpses on the front porch for the fun of it! As if I care or even believe some farmhands could handle much less defeat you when you can clearly impale full grown adults and work such a place as this—!”

“...”

“—And how dare you tease a woman scared out of her wits, can you even pretend to try to put yourself in my place?! Do you know how long I’ve been running from those idiots? If I had your strength I’d’ve staked them myself and added them to your lovely, little welcome collection as a visiting gift, because believe me, I’m sick of running from morons and monsters! I’m not above spilling blood! But as I said before, I possess little, and come from nothing, and journey towards nothing. From that, you can figure I can’t do much in terms of protecting myself besides running into large, spooky places and begging their arrogant owners for some rest—”

“.....”

“—So, I’d very much appreciate if you stopped toying with me and make your decision on whether you’re going to kill me, kick me out, or keep me, because I’m tired of trying to figure this all out by myself and I’m tired of the anticipation. So what’ll it be Mr. I-Like-to-Leave-Corpses-Outside-My-Castle-and-Harrass-Visitors?”

You huff after your rant, waiting.

The voice is silent for a long, long moment, before an accusing tone reverbs back to you.

“You’re the one who barged in—“

“—You’re the one who opened the door!” You return, throwing your hands out in frustration.

“I didn’t, the castle did.”

“Oh, well fuck me, then. I suppose I ought to thank the ‘castle’ and head back out to let those hoodlums try their worst. So long, strange sir! It was interesting, arguing with you.”

You turn on your heel, over this entire day, and knock at the door raptly. You tap your foot as you wait on the castle, arms crossed and dagger in your hand to strike the nearest hoodlum that likely awaited outside. What a day, you couldn’t believe this shit.

The machinery whirs once more and the door barely opens before a large, leather gloved hand reaches past your head and slams the towering door back, closing it shut. The strength the act takes is incomprehensible, you think.

Inhuman, you realize.

The hairs at the back of your neck raise long after the presence behind you appears. You feel no breath on your neck, yet you know someone stands behind you. You can’t look away from the large, gloved hand on the door. You’re afraid to see exactly who stands behind you.

A man...? Or something else entirely….?

You try to speak but gasp instead, short and shocked.

Silence reigns before you get a hold of yourself and choke something out.

“Y-y-you’ve made your decision then…I presume...?” You stammer into a squeaking volume, your anger long gone and replaced by fear once again.

“Don’t make me regret it…” The voice sneers, close enough for the breath of it to shift your hair and the baritone to reverb over your skin. A chill runs up your back and you can do little to hide it. You feel as though the figure behind you is impossibly tall, imperceptibly assessing, and spying every single thing you do.

You feel the presence lean in over your shoulder, a mouth right next to your ear.

“…or you will regret it, visitor. That, I can promise.”

You gulp loudly, nodding your assent without turning around. You feel frozen to the spot. The hand withdraws and your shoulders unclench only a fraction. You feel as if a predator had been standing behind you, and has decided not to destroy you...for the moment.

You wonder if you are right, and why your cheeks suddenly feel so hot when your heart is beating so fast in terror...?

“I’m going to clean the trash off of my porch,” the voice states eerily. “Don’t touch anything until I return.”

As quick as a blink, the presence disappears entirely.

You finally turn around, alone and confused.

There is nothing but the large castle hall, looking back at you.

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AN: Do not under any circumstances copy, repost, or edit any of my work. If you see someone do so, please let me know.

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thesunshinebunny · 3 years

Text

When the world falls apart, the only thing we can hold onto is ourselves (Part II)

Series Master list

pairing: canon Eren Jaeger x reader

content: Angst, unstable relationship, breakup, smut/nswf+18, major character death, violence, blood (obviously), war (pretty obvious)

summary: War and hate. It’s what defined the world at this exact moment. You failed your comrades, and by failing them, you failed yourself. Your relationship is hanging by a thread and your enemies will not only be found on the other side of the sea, but also in the mind of the person you love the most. How will you take the reins in the face of so much destruction?

Chapter summary: Coming home is melancholy and cold, and your squadmates ask you to do what you couldn't do for a year: speak up and find out what's going on inside Eren's mind.

Words count: 5.3k

They say that when a loved one leaves this world, the days follow turns gray, colorless; How ironic to think that the day we buried Sasha was gray, there wasn’t a trace of the blue sky or some solar ray that could give us the warmth we were lacking. It was cold, a cold that got into your bones and no matter how many hugs and words of mutual support we gave each other, we couldn’t get the warmth we needed.

My soul had been fragmented the moment Sasha left this world, but seeing my friends cry at her grave and leave bouquets of flowers, it fragmented even more. I wasn’t able to meet Nicolo's eyes, my guilt prevented me. Inside, I wanted this Marleyan to yell at me, to tell me that he hated my presence, that Sasha's death had been my fault, and that I should have given my life if it meant saving her. I wanted with all my being that he would give me a reason to really feel guilty.

On the way back to the island, the others assured me that her death wasn’t my fault, that I did everything possible to keep her alive. But my ineptitude, my grief, my low self-esteem prevented me from seeing things clearly. I just needed… something to hold onto.

And I wasn't getting anything.

I felt how I was slowly sinking into the rabbit hole, without the possibility of clinging to a tree root. I was falling, falling, falling, unable to know when I would hit bottom. But that bottom came fast before I could have predicted, because minutes after Nicolo arrived, Sasha's father arrived too, bouquet of beautiful red flowers in hand.

I broke myself. The two people who longed for Sasha most in their lives were standing in front of me, mourning the loss of her young soul. The two people who would hate me the most in the world, standing over my friends's grave. I fell to my knees in front of them and in front of her grave, silently begging for forgiveness.

My tears fell incessantly on the freshly stirred earth as did my fingers, imploring this burden on my chest to dissipate, as if unconsciously I was wishing for Sasha herself to forgive me for letting her die. How could one cope with this heinous feeling? How could I go on, knowing that the world was falling around us, unable to know if the next day we were going to be alive or if Marley would initiate an attack from which we weren’t going to be able to defend ourselves?

My head was racing a thousand per second and the only thing I could let out were those sobs that had accompanied me so much on the way back, the same ones that cradled me to slept, and the tears that so much wanted to dissipate the pain in my soul.

It is said that when a person leaves this world, some people are unable to handle grief, just as they are unable to articulate a word. Apparently I was one of those people.

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Nights and days passed. Those of us who survived the attack on Marley stayed in commune trying to encourage ourselves to continue fighting. Hange had recommended us to rest, since the psychological damage could cause us several injuries in the future, and as for Eren ... we weren’t very aware of him. The last we heard from our commanders is that he was locked away from all human contact, stipulating that it would be better to keep him locked up for a while and let whatever shit that was going through his head dissipate.

But that was complete bullshit. I knew that, even locking him up, they weren't going to be able to change the thoughts that tormented Eren so much. I knew that, whatever was wandering through his mind, he wasn’t letting him alone and he would never let go. How did I know that? Because I spent a whole year trying to get him to let me enter in that shell he has been forming in recent years. I tried very hard to get him to tell me his plan before he went to Marley, but I got nothing, and I still get nothing.

My gaze was lost in the window. The nights grew colder and colder and I hugged my arms as I watched the sunset. The boys were arguing about something, something that Mikasa didn't seem to find funny at all, but my mind wasn’t connected to reality. I just stared out the window, remembering the old days when we'd sneak out to steal a piece of meat from the supply warehouse with Sasha and Connie.

I remembered the nights when the boys sneaked into the women's hut to keep each other warm in our days as recruits. I remembered how Armin let me practice my medicine methods on him when he got hurt, a practice that was lost when he inherited the power of the Colossal Titan.

I remembered how we would escape at dawn, grab a few horses and ride out to the ocean, taking nice cool baths on the warm moonlit summer nights. Now those moments only remained in that, in memories.

"(Y/N) are you listening?"

My gaze detached from the window, now it was fixed on a Connie who looked just as tired of the world as I did. This dwarf turned giant was just as devastated as I was by losing half of him, and yet he was still able to continue fighting alongside our friends.

"We think you might be the most suitable to go talk to Eren"

Armin's calm voice stripped me of any desire to go back to the old moments. I pulled myself away from the window tiredly and let my body unconsciously guide me to one of the couchs in the middle of the room, next to the blonde. Apparently while I was wandering in my thoughts, the tension in the room had reached a point where it could be cut with a simple wave of the hand.

As I sat down, I was able to take a better look at the room. From what I could analyze, the group had divided into two, those who still trusted Eren and those who did not, each with their reasons, and apparently, I was playing the role of mediator. The responsibility fell on me to move the pieces of the board: to talk to our supposed war partner and beg him to tell us about his plans and the demons in his head, or to dethrone him completely.

"What makes you think I can go talk to him?"

My words came out of my mouth colder and sharper than I would’ve liked, but it was the simple truth. If Eren was willing to push each other away to accomplish his task, what was I going to accomplish after a year without having answers to his thoughts?

"I haven't been able to speak to him openly in a year"

Armin and Mikasa gave me completely stunned looks. Not even their childhood friend had told them that his relationship was falling off a cliff.

"I didn't know, I thought you were fine"

"Well, we are not fine at all Armin"

I knew it wasn't fair for Armin to get all my frustration, he wasn't guilty at all. I looked him in the eye and I could find multiple feelings in those huge blue eyes: sadness, compassion, guilt, overwhelm. I knew he was one of the worst going through it, his childhood friend was no longer entirely reliable; he had carried out acts of sheer violence and had become the enemy he hated the most; Armin had become his worst enemy and his eyes clearly showed it.

And it was those same eyes that begged me to do something, to go and talk, to try to figure out the smallest thing we could use to get out of this mess Eren got us into. They implored me to save his soul brother from his mental prison.

I let out a long breath before getting up off the couch and heading to the door.

"I highly doubt that I will achieve anything, but I will try to talk to him"

I took one last look to the guys in front of me before leaving the room, each one wishing me luck and pleading for my well-being with their eyes, and sinking even further into the rabbit hole, or rather, going straight to ventured into the lion's den.

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The road to the dungeons was long and heavy, but not because of the number of blocks and alleys I had to take, but because of what was waiting for me at the end of the road. Upon coming into contact with the stone walls and their semi-armored doors, the blood on my body ran cold, just as it ran cold when we buried Sasha.

The air below the ground was cold, the smell of mold and dirt entered my nostrils, preventing me from taking a couple of steps without feeling like vomiting. The place really needed a better cleaning, otherwise it would be the epicenter of a huge plague.

At the end of the corridor, where the light was dimmer and let the darkness eat much of the cell, was Eren. My heart skipped a beat when I saw him sitting on his supposed bed, staring directly at the wall, or so it seemed; knowing him he was surely lost in his world. I kept my composure, avoiding giving any trace of my emotional and psychological state.

"Hi"

I got no response, as always.

I had the opportunity to inspect his cell, it was quite untidy and dripping with water, coming from the sink which was covered to the top. Unconsciously I prayed that this water was drinkable or at least that it was not too polluted, since I didn’t have to look completely at the brunette in front of me to know he had put his head in that same water.

"I like your hair, looks very smooth"

"What do you want?"

His voice came out calm but imposing and terrifying at the same time, I would be lying if I said I didn’t startle a bit, but I kept my composure as best as possible to avoid showing the fear in my eyes. Eren may not have noticed, but if he did, he was unfazed.

"The guys think that I can talk to you, but I told them they were completely wrong, I mean...we haven't been able to speak like we used to for a year, maybe more"

My words came out of my mouth like the venom of a snake. I couldn't tell if my intention was to make him feel guilty, or at least feel something, to reflect on my words, but guess what… his eyes didn't even leave the wall behind me.

I crossed my arms and rested my body on one of the bars, hoping to have some intimidating way for the damn bastard to decide to speak. Even though bullying wasn't my thing, I, yes, had a tired face and wasn't there to waste my time, but I had to achieve something, get something, whatever, so I could get out of this damn place.

"You know very well that I'm not going to leave until you say something"

His eyes met mine for a few seconds and then returned to their original position. I knew this was going to be difficult, but I couldn't help my irritation growing from my chest. With every minute that passed, the pain in that area was increasing and a lump in the throat was appearing with each tear that I wanted to avoid shedding.

I'd been through shitty days and had to come alone to the exact place I least wanted to be to talk to the person I least wanted to see.

"I'm used to being on my feet for long hours, I can be here all day, and that's exactly what I'm going to do"

I remained planted in front of the cell, positioning myself with crossed arms right in front of his eyes, preventing them from continuing to look at the miserable wall.

But my bad luck wasn't giving me any sign that I was going to win this fight very soon. Although I was covering his peripheral field, his eyes never deigned to look at me, they simply stayed glued to the front, now seeing my body in front, although in reality, he was seeing without seeing.

My patience was running out and this goddamn silent game had only just begun. I had to find something to work with, something that could flicker him or make him angry… anger would not be the best if I wanted to leave with all the bones intact and my already psychological trauma without further damage; but knowing Eren, anger was his fuel, which made him move and in an action-reaction effect, made everyone move together behind him.

That's it. Everyone. But we weren't all here.

Sasha was dead; Reiner, Berthold and Annie traitors and enemies of Paradis; Ymir disappeared and confirmed dead, being inherited by the new jaw titan; the only one missing from our group was our beloved Queen. The Queen that Eren so decided to care for and protect.

"You know, Historia is about to give birth"

It was mild, but I could feel his body tense. His eyes moved just the same slightly, but in those little acts I knew I had struck a chord. And I was willing to use it, even if it meant destroying my sanity and causing one of Eren's greatest worldly anger.

"Wouldn't it be nice to have a little baby on the squad?" I took a deep breath before launching the second impact of the night, preparing to receive whatever blow came next. "After all, it's your child, right?"

His body moved faster than I could ever achieve and my reflexes weren't sharp enough to pull away in time. His hand grabbed my shirt, drawing me towards the bars and hitting my cheeks on each one, now my face was directly in front of him, my field of vision being just his face and finally, his eyes were focused on mine.

"Don't even think about talking about Historia like that"

If looks could kill, surely I would already be dead on the ground. His grip on my chest was strong, he was even capable of ripping the fabric, but with a push back showed me that it wasn’t strong enough, that everything was a facade. I staggered, almost fell to the ground, but either way, I kept my balance and my expression. I was terrified inside, but I forced myself to keep a stoic look at all time, he was trying to play with me and although I was not entirely sure how much there were just words and how much were an act of anger and violence, I couldn’t dedicate myself to having a hint of doubt.

"Easy, Romeo, I know you're not the daddy...or are you?"

I adjusted my clothes, avoiding his gaze because I knew if I stared into his eyes, I would get a much worse look than the one he gave me a few seconds ago.

"Whatever, you gave me something to work with, Historia knows something and didn't tell us...gee, I wonder why"

I leaned my body against the cold stone. My gaze went everywhere, trying to keep avoiding his eyes and incidentally have a stronger support for my figure.

"The Queen doesn’t have to say anything to anyone"

Ohhh, you little shit.

If that's the game you want to play, then you're going to lose.

Even if his words were absolutely right, we shouldn’t forget that, before she was queen, Historia had been our friend during training and the entire year of accumulated trauma between betrayals and deaths. If we could continue to have conversations with her and were invited to participate in political meetings, then we had every right to be informed of the supposed plan that Eren implanted in our queen's mind.

For a moment I was scared by the physical and emotional state of Historia. Was Eren capable of keeping her threatened? Did he say or do anything to keep her quiet? The questions seemed to have no head or tail, but if Eren was able to grab me the way he did, I can't imagine what he could do to keep someone quiet.

"Yes, you are right, in the same way, trust only the queen before your friends... that’s brave"

I searched the corridor and the cell for something I could use to attract his attention again, if it was necessary for me to use violence against him, I would be willing to do it. My eyes met a chain anchored to the wall, quite a long chain, to tell the truth. And on the other side, reaching almost the middle of the corridor, I could make out a rather dirty cloth.

I glanced at Eren who had sat back down on his bed, head down in his hands, and walked down the hall with one goal in mind. I grabbed the cloth and walked back to the cell, standing in front of the bars. I reached out my hand to the sink and started to clean up what was left of the spilled water.

"It's all soaked, incredible that they keep a cell like this"

Without taking my eyes off the sink, I could hear Eren settling on his bed, perhaps sitting upright. I kept running the dirty cloth over the water, honestly I wasn’t achieving much apart from spreading the now dirty water even more, but I had to continue with the facade of an understandable couple.

"It's a complete mess...were Historia's legs like this when you railed her?"

As before, Eren had quickly stood up, ready to grab my hand that was inside the cell, but I was already better prepared. When I felt his fingers touch my wrist, I turned my hand to anchor it on his arm and draw him towards the bars, having that same arm outside the cell. With half body on the cold metal, my other hand grabbed the missing arm and with all my strength I pulled his limbs towards me, causing his body and head to crash against the bars.

"Do you want to do it the hard way? fine, we'll do it the hard way"

Eren tried to shake off my grip, but the adrenaline rushing through my veins prevented him from loosening even a millimeter. I pushed him and pulled him back to me, stretching his arms even further and hitting his head on the metal.

"What's wrong with you?"

Again, a back and forth motion.

"What is going on in your head?"

Back and forth.

"How much shit can you have in your mind that you are not able to tell your friends?"

Back and forth.

"TELL ME FOR FUCK SAKE!!"

With one last impact, I hit Eren's head and heard the fibers and tendons in his shoulders rip, just as his skin began to stretch and break, revealing the flesh and muscle beneath it. Rivers of blood flowed over his arms, dropping to the floor and turning his skin red.

His head was also bleeding to the side, soaking his torso and rebel hair. A pool of blood formed under our feet. I let go of his arms and then grabbed the chain that was on the wall and chained him. Considering the number of times he hab been chained since his fifteen years, I suppose one more time wouldn't do any harm to his already traumatized mind.

When I saw his hands were secure I dropped to the floor, not caring about the blood that now adorned the cold stone floor. I could feel my ass starting to get soggy and sticky from the substance. I would have to burn this pants when I got out of there.

Both my mind and my breath hitched, enveloping the environment. I tried to calm down and clear my mind to continue this hell of interrogation. I knew I shouldn't have agreed, and now look at what situation I was in.

"You know I can transform and use the power of the warhammer titan to get out of here"

Eren seemed withdrawn from his situation, as if bleeding to death didn't matter in the least. Steam came out of his shoulders, a sign that he was in the process of regeneration and prayed that this process would take a long time to materialize.

“I know…” I tried to calm my voice and breath before speaking again “but if you transform now, you would end up killing me, and killing me means betraying the legion, and betraying them means betraying the people of Paradis… you don 't want that, do you? "

My words may sound sly, but inside I was wanting to run out of there, get under the covers of my bed and sleep until the day of doomsday; I was even wishing to die in that sleep.

"I'm going to stay here until I know once and for all what's going on in your head, because I know that whatever shit is in there… it's killing you."

Now we were both looking into each other's eyes, fighting a battle in silence, seeing who would give up first. We held eye contact for a few long minutes, unable to tell how many. Maybe it was a couple, maybe half an hour or even an hour; whatever the time, I was already getting bored.

"If I had known it would take so long, I would have brought something to read"

"What has you so worried that you can't even tell Hange or the heichou?"

My question came reluctantly out of my mouth, as if my ability to fight was fading. I was already very tired and it seemed like days since I entered the dungeons.

"Noone would be able to understand"

"Oh please! Don't take me for a fool. Do you think that none of them are battling their own inner demons? Do you think that only you can have intrusive thoughts to fight against?"

His comment irritated me to the core. I never found Eren such a selfish person, and to think that a year or so ago he was declaring his unconditional affection to all of his comrades.

What happened in the last year? What changed?

"Each one of them has to face their own internal wars every day"

Before my anger got the best of me, I took a few small breaths, calming myself. I wasn't going to put me on the same level of hatred and misunderstanding as him, even if it meant throwing away all the years we were together.

"Historia surely has to fight against the stress and the multiple responsibilities that being a queen entails, apart from fighting against the offensive comments of the military police"

Maybe the island has been rid of Titans for a long time, but that didn’t take away the fact that shitty people, like those who lived on the Wall Sina, decided to try and continue controlling the poor people who were split the loin so those ungrateful would have a feast every night.

"Connie is struggling every day against losing his other half, his twin"

Connie, Jean, everyone ... EVERYONE! We were fighting and suffering the mourning of Sasha, of our teammates.

"Shit, surely Jean is still struggling with the memory of Marco after so many years"

Yes. No one had forgotten Marco, especially Jean. But we had to learn to keep going on that very day, we couldn't afford to get sentimental and spoil the next missions. From that day on we learned to watch over our dead mates in silence.

"I fight every day against my incompetence"

And now was the time that I could begin to veil my demons once and for all.

Already my body was begging to rest. I had laid my head on the wall and fixed my gaze on the ceiling. I heard the chains move at my side, a sign that Eren was moving, but I didn't have the strength to look him in the face.

"I fight every day against the image of Sasha dying in my hands"

I know that memory is going to haunt me until the day I die.

"I fight every day against the memories of our comrades dying in battle"

I saw countless deaths throughout the year 850, so many that I decided to use my knowledge in medicine to help even to stop a bleeding. I still remember the first suture I made to a mate already lost in battle ... I was so excited, so happy to be of such help.

"I fight every day against the idea of not being enough"

But that exaltation led to thousands of failures. People who had bled internally, who had lost an arm and couldn’t get to cauterize, hundreds who had lost half their stomach or head.

"I fight every day against our enemies on the other side of the sea"

I wasn't going to deny it, learning the pure and exclusive truth of the world, I couldn't help but feel a deep hatred for the Marleyans. I wanted them to pay for the countless deaths and suffering they had caused, I wanted to see them burn, but at the same time I wanted a reasonable explanation.

"I fight the memories of the titans devouring our friends"

Memories of the first day in battle, right at our graduation, when we thought that nothing could happen. How naive we were. And to think that that was just the beginning of a long list of events that would bring us to this moment.

"I fight every day along side with the memories of the team escaping from the base and messing it up to enjoy the summer nights"

Memories of when we would sneak into the palace and take Historia with us, enjoying the air in our faces and running in the valleys of the countryside. Memories of when we ran cows for some strange reason at the beginning of the day.

Memories of when we were racing with the 3D movement gear through the great forests outside the city. Memories of the occasional punch in the face against the bark of a tree for not knowing where we were going.

"I fight every day against the image of the big bright turquoise eyes that I fell in love with"

My gaze fell on those same eyes, but instead of finding the description that I wanted to see so much, I only found grayish green eyes, eyes that had lost all their brilliance.

I found eyes full of tiredness and anger for the world. The brilliance that so characterized Eren had been lost; now I would have to settle for a blank stare.

"I fight every day ... against the memory of our return to the rooms and Levi punishing us for weeks"

My voice was breaking as I remembered the nights when only Eren and I would sneak out to spend quality time alone. Those nights where we would lie down to see the stars or to lose ourselves in each other in some meadow.

I look at my hands, they were shaking. I couldn't help but remember the first night we spent together, back then I was shaking too, but Eren's hands on my cheeks dispelled any doubt or fear that I could ever have. I unconsciously smiled at the fond memory and I think Eren did too, as I heard a little laugh coming from him.

But no matter how much smiles and laughter the memories gave me, I had to go on and face the world that was now in front of me.

"I fight every day ... against the idea of running towards you, towards your arms"

Those arms that one day gave me warmth. Those arms that one day hugged and covered me the moment I found out that a mate had died. Those strong arms that I knew were going to protect me from any harm.

"I fight against the hope that this is all a nightmare, that you are going to cradle me in your arms and tell me that everything is going to be fine, that it was just a bad dream"

My gaze returned to his, now filled with tears. It hurt, the cruel truth hurt a lot.

"I fight against the desire to stay by your side"

Eren's face was dark, he had returned to how he was at the beginning, without any trace of that soft laugh I heard a few seconds ago.

"I fight with my inner voice that tells me that everything will be fine, that in a few years it will not hurt as much as it does now"

Maybe ... maybe I can start over and when all this nefarious war is over I can find peace, once and for all, and enjoy my friends.

"I fight to move on"

...

"I fight every day...against you"

That was it.

I stood up heavily, wiping the tears from my cheeks with the back of my hand. The blood on the floor was already dry and had left the entire back of my pants stained. I hadn't noticed that the air had been permeated with the iron smell of blood, making my vomiting reflex worse, even though I had avoided it in a good way all this time.

"If you want to free yourself from this cell, go ahead, I'm not going to stop you"

His figure was already fully regenerated and I knew it was a matter of time before he transformed and left this filthy place. Eren might trust what he was doing was the right thing to do, but if he didn’t accept that in the eyes of the world, that in our eyes, his friends, the only family he had left, couldn’t understand his actions, then there wasn’t much to ask from him.

If he wanted to betray us, let him do it.

“Do what you have to do to fulfill your dream, I don't care anymore. But don't expect for me to sit around and wait for you"

"Are you planning to go to the other side of the sea?"

What a stupid and dubious question at the same time. Was I willing to leave my life in Paradis to start over even in the lands of the enemy?

No, not at all. Why I was no traitor.

"No Eren, I am not going to Marley, my family is here...but you are no longer part of it"

Those words hurt, but they needed to be said; that way I could already start to heal.

"Is that all you have to say?"

I couldn't tell if his words were mocking or a sincere question. But yes, it was all I had to say. I couldn't spend another minute in front of someone I didn't even know anymore.

"It's all I can bear"

I took one last look at the prisoner in the cell before turning and continuing down the long corridor of the dungeons.

"Are you leaving so soon? I thought I heard you would stay as long as it takes for me to speak"

As I reached the door, I took a deep breath of the foul smell of the environment. My hand lay on the doorknob and was half open when his words reached my ears. There was no need to shout from a distance, the echo of the stones made it easy for me to hear the smallest whisper of the perpetrator. I opened the door, but not before dedicating my last words.

"Goodbye Jaeger"

And behind me, I closed the door.

#shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #snk #aot #eren jaeger #eren jaeger x reader #eren x reader #snk x reader #aot x reader #uuuufff #this was looong #shingeki no kyojin x reader #attack on titan x reader #angst #eren smut

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mypoisonedvine · 3 years

Text

Love, Theoretically | Sebastian Stan x reader (Chapter 5)

(chapter 1) (chapter 2) (chapter 3) (chapter 4)

series summary: having lost your husband, sister, and best friend all to the same extramarital affair, you ran away to a secluded villa in the Hungarian countryside to write and get a little time away from the life you’d left behind. you were only looking for peace and perhaps some inspiration for your novel, but instead you found an unlikely connection with the immigrant repairman– even though the two of you don’t speak the same language.

word count: nearly 2.5k

warnings: vague description of a wet dream, some sensual implied stuff (??),

moodboard and inspiration credit to @evnscvll

In all your life, you’d never had a wet dream. Not even in high school when so many of your peers were coping with puberty and budding sexuality in similar ways— not even when you’d wanted to have one about David Kapoor, the cutest guy in senior year who didn’t even know you existed but that you were somehow convinced was going to fall madly in love with you one day.

It never did work out for you two, but you’d finally managed to have a wet dream. This one, though, was about Sebastian.

In your dream he had cornered you in the kitchen, kissing you deeply before tossing you onto the table and— well, the rest doesn’t bear repeating. It was all very ‘discount bin romance novel’ wasn’t it? The exotic, rugged farm boy roughly taking the formerly-prudish businesswoman in the middle of the house, too deep in the throes of passion to care if someone walking by saw them.

You didn’t find it all that sexy by the time you woke up; moreso just humorous. That’s preposterous, you thought to yourself, nobody’s ever gonna love me like that.

It was something your husband had said to you once. You couldn’t even remember what the context was anymore, but clearly it had had an impact on you to be repeating it internally now. Just last week, Mrs. Alberti had gotten on your case for speaking poorly of yourself. Clearly, the things you said about yourself to others were nothing against what you said about yourself to yourself.

Your papers had only taken a day to dry, but the ink was pretty severely smudged. Knowing your publisher wouldn’t accept them in a manuscript, you resolved to retyping the most damaged ones— a good mindless task to do while you pondered your next steps plot-wise. You’d seen Sebastian less for the past week, and it was no accident; you’d been avoiding him because you were trying to nip this in the bud before it got any worse. Your divorce isn’t final yet, you need to heal. This is fantasy, not reality. You barely know each other. Your divorce isn’t final. Your divorce. Isn’t. Final.

That was the mantra you found yourself repeating as you retyped the waterlogged sheets; so much for the plot-pondering plan, eh?

You heard someone coming up the stairs, and you knew it was him because the steps were coming too quickly to be Mrs. Alberti. “Come in,” you instructed before he’d even knocked.

“Bună ziua,” he greeted as he opened the door, leaning inside. “Am pregătit cina, ai vrea să mănânci?”

“Hm?” you asked as you turned around in your chair, adjusting your reading glasses. However, his question became more obvious through context when you saw he had oven mitts and an apron on, and was holding a wooden spoon. “Oh, um, I’ll be down for dinner in a minute. Soon.” You held up a few fingers, hoping he would successfully interpret them into minutes.

“Arăți bine în ochelarii aceia,” he motioned, pointing towards you.

“I’m sorry… what?” you asked, not sure at all what he could be talking about.

“Ochelari. Sunt drăguți,” he re-emphasized, but it was useless as you gave him another confused look. He sighed, straightening up a bit as he began a new method: “Îmi plac,” he said, pointing to himself and then giving a thumbs up, “ochelarii tăi,” he pointed to you, and then made circles with his fingers and brought them up to his eyes.

You laughed a little, but you were pretty sure you got what he meant. “You like my glasses?” you clarified, reaching up to wiggle them on your face a bit.

“Da,” he grinned. “Pari inteligent.”

“Thank you,” you nodded, and he nodded back as he shut the door and his footsteps faded back into the kitchen.

Once a few more pages had been redone, you gave your hair a quick combing before heading down for dinner with Sebastian. It smelled a little strange by the time you went downstairs, but when you swung open the door to the kitchen, you were instantly hit with a wave of acidic air, forcing you to wince and cough. Even that didn’t help much, and you forced your eyes shut as they stung.

“Jesus Christ,” you yelped, “the fuck are you cooking? Tear gas?!”

“Oțetul te irită?” he asked, not sounding as concerned as you would’ve hoped considering your obvious pain. It was like you could taste it in the air, and it wasn’t until you managed to open your burning eyes again that you realized what it was: vinegar, in a huge jug right next to the pot he was boiling it in.

“You’re boiling vinegar?” you realized incredulously. “God, Europeans are fucking weird.”

He just looked back at you with bewildered bemusement.

“In America,” you tried to explain, “we don’t eat vinegar. We clean our floors with it.” You pointed to the jug and made a motion meant to indicate scrubbing a surface, and he laughed a little.

“Americanii sunt prea sensibili,” he dismissed with a wave of his hand, turning back to the stove to stir his pot of disinfectant which he apparently planned to serve you as a meal. “Am avut ciorbă de oțet de când eram copil.”

You’d typically considered yourself an adventurous eater— even with vinegar-pickled things, like kim chi which you’d learned to acquire a taste for— but this one put you to the test. Considering the smell alone had singed your sinuses, you were nervous what would become of your innocent tastebuds. But after he served the soup (a dark orange color, so apparently it wasn’t just the boiled vinegar) into a bowl for you and another for himself, you found the taste of it oddly pleasant when you sipped it gently from your hesitant little spoon.

“Vezi, nu e așa de rău,” he smiled gently as he watched you fail to recoil in disgust from the flavor.

“Just like ma used to make, huh?” you chuckled as he ate the soup with incredible speed, even going as far as to lift the bowl to his lips and drink the last few sips that way.

Eating dinner in silence with him was unexpectedly comfortable. “You wanna know something funny?” you found yourself mumbling aloud. “I enjoy talking to you more than anyone I ever did back home, and you can’t even understand me.”

His smile softened as he stared back at you, apparently sensing the change in your tone as you spoke.

“See, right there, that’s it: you’re listening to me. You know it’s useless, you know you won’t be able to tell what I’m talking about, but you’re listening anyways. Over two billion English speakers on the planet and none of them have listened to me like you do.”

Then you heard yourself, and it was so heart-breaking that you had no choice but to laugh. It was just a chuckle at first, but then you couldn’t stop it, even when you realized how confused Sebastian would be. Everything is funnier when you know you shouldn’t laugh, and soon you could barely breathe as tears warmed your eyes from the force of it.

“I’m sorry,” you tried to spit out between your fits of laughter, but it was barely comprehensible anyways. Sebastian began to laugh with you, if hesitantly and with a hint of confusion.

“De ce râdem?” he asked gently.

“I’m sorry,” you repeated, calming down a bit, “I’m sorry I just… I was just imagining what my husband would say, if he knew I was here…” you trailed off as you laughed again, starting over. “If he knew I was here, falling for someone I’ve never even spoken with.” You shook your head, resting your face in your hands as you chuckled lightly. “Oh, he’d hate this. He’d tell me I was out of my mind.”

With a slow sigh, your laughter subsided as you wiped the wetness from your eyes.

“He’d be right, but… I don’t really care,” you decided. “He’s not here. If he wanted to find me, he would. And maybe it’s because he’d hate this that I’m having so much goddamn fun doing it.”

When you looked at Sebastian again, his face was serious, yet anything but stern. Suddenly, you weren’t thinking about your husband anymore. Of course you logically understood how odd this all was, how impossible it was for you to be slowly finding yourself in love with someone like him, but it felt right, and true, and real. It made no sense, and yet it made perfect sense in every way that mattered.

“I’ll help you clean,” you offered as you stood up, realizing you’d gotten lost in your train of thought and probably stared at him for a bit too long. He stood up with you, helping you gather the used dishes and letting you wash them in the sink while he put the remaining soup in the refrigerator as leftovers for another time. “I’ll cook for you tomorrow,” you promised, “something real bland, like the English cook.”

“Sper că nu intenționați să gătiți pentru mine cândva, nu suport mâncarea occidentală,” he mumbled as he continued to wipe down the countertop with a damp towel.

With the kitchen clean, you knew you should get back to writing your book, but you were compelled instead to read somebody else’s— so, as you slipped onto the couch with one of a few of your favorites that you’d brought with you, Sebastian summoned the same copy of Dracula you’d seen him reading a few times and took the loveseat. Not much else happened after that, save for you shivering from a draft and him tossing a throw blanket on you.

“Ce carte citești?” he asked you eventually, breaking the silence. When you looked up, he was pointing at your book. “Book?”

“Right,” you laughed, “I taught you that. My book, uh, it’s good.” You closed it, leaving your finger inside to mark your place as you showed him the front cover. “On the Road? Ever heard of it?”

He just cocked his head to the side.

“Jack Kerouac?” you continued. “It’s about going on a long journey in search of… freedom.”

“Acesta este cel despre zombi?” he asked.

“Sure,” you nodded, wishing more than ever that you could know what he was saying. He smiled and got back to his own reading. Indulging yourself for a moment, you watched his face as it fell into a neutral expression while he read, his eyes trailing along the page as he continued to read. You didn’t realize it, but when you returned to reading your own book, he got his chance to look at you.

A long day of writing meant you had more than earned an evening to relax by the fire; late summer became early fall, and early fall turned into the need for a fireplace so much faster than you’d anticipated. The days were temperate, sure, but as the sun began to sink lower, so did the warmth. You started your evening with a hot shower, though you didn’t let yourself get too greedy with the limited supply of hot water, knowing Sebastian relied on the same supply for his own baths. When you finished, you dressed yourself in a fluffy lavender robe, feeling especially pampered when you put on a little moisturizer before heading downstairs to cozy up with the fire. You were already getting chilly, the heat from the shower fading as your wet hair and bare feet cooled you quickly. Therefore, it was more of a scurry to the fireplace, which you hadn’t expected Sebastian to be tending or you wouldn’t have come down in a robe. He’d seen you in less (namely, his shirt and nothing else, which was horrifically embarrassing) but something about this felt more intimate, like all your defenses had been washed away in the shower, too. Didn’t help that he was shirtless, again. Wasn’t he cold in this weather?! Must be all that muscle keeping him warm.

“Bună seara,” he greeted.

“Good evening,” you returned. Stepping closer, you rubbed your hands together as you felt the hot air radiate towards you. “It’s nice,” you sighed contentedly.

He smiled back at you, moving the logs slightly with the iron poker. Sparks jumped and fell off as he shifted them, joining the ashes below— you’d always thought fire was so beautiful, even if it was dangerous, and you took in a long breath through your nose to smell the tinge of smokiness in the air.

“Te încălzești?” he asked quietly as he set the poker aside and stood beside you. You wrapped your arms around yourself, rubbing through the fabric of the robe to try to warm up a little faster. Seeing you shiver, he reached out and rubbed your arms for you, which made you tense up slightly before relaxing and breathing out. “Mai bine?”

You nodded a little, your gaze drifting slightly.

“Warm?” he asked, making your eyes jump back up to his. You swallowed dryly as he looked back at you.

“Warm,” you repeated, “yeah. Good job… when’d you learn that?”

He didn’t answer, watching your hands as they reached out for his arms, finally making delicate contact with his tanned skin before drifting up to his biceps, his shoulders, and finally his chest. He put his own hands on top of yours and held them there, looking back at you as your heart started to beat rapidly and with no signs of slowing down. “Warm,” he repeated, only slightly above a whisper.

“Oh yeah,” you agreed hoarsely, “very, very warm…”

He smiled a little; it wasn’t mischievous, it wasn’t conniving or predatory or malicious. It was subtle but gentle in a way you had absolutely no plan to save yourself from, no protection, no armor, no neutral territory. There was only heat, so strong that your toes weren’t cold anymore and you didn’t even remember that your hair was still damp. Not only did you let his heat consume you, but you didn’t even think to stop it, to swallow your desire down, to run away and say goodnight and hide in bed from the icky scary feelings. No, you looked right back at him and let those eyes pierce right through you, that cold blue changed entirely with the warm firelight reflecting in them.

“Do you want to come to my room?” you asked slowly. The words were useless, but a glance back to the stairs that led to your door and back at him asked the same question with much more efficacy.

He nodded, and you stepped backwards as he followed you: across the house, up the stairs, and to your room. You opened the door. He shut it behind you.

#sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan rpf #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan x y/n

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