#i use 'friend' as a label to describe a relationship (friendship); not to imply any specific feelings

[solidwater05]

I'm greyplatonic. I've been greyromantic, too. And I realized that being a grey aspec is lonely

I don't fit in with allos, so I go to aspec spaces, but I don't fit in with aspecs either. When the aro community in general talked about not having crushes, I felt left out as a greyro who had crushes. When the apl community in general talks about not loving their friends, I feel left out as a greyro who, very rarely, loves some of their friends.

So, I'm making this post for all aspecs who feel too aspec for the allos, and too allo for the aspecs. For aspecs who love too much for aspec communities, but not enough for allos.

For all aspecs who feel attraction. For aspecs whose attraction is abundant but weak, rare but very strong, and everything in between.

For all acespecs who have sex and arospecs who date and all other aspecs who engage in activities without attraction.

For all aspecs who worry that their attraction and existence inherently support oppressive social structures.

For all aspecs who have never seen someone else like them. For aspecs who feel invisible.

For aspecs who feel like they don't belong.

I'm making this post for all shades of grey aspecs, no matter how light or dark, to let them know that we belong.

[lukolabrainrot]

Part 2. Explanation

In one of the interviews (don’t remember exactly, Vogue one perhaps) they are asked who is most likely to fall in love at first sight and they both point at L, and something similar is stated multiple times throughout the WT in various ways. Now N on the other hand always supports the friends to lovers being the best romantic trope and I think it’s not only because it is her character’s story arc. The way she is talking about a deep connection developing in the course of the friendship being the best way to go about it, implies that she is not someone who jumps into relationships easily. The way they are talking about their first meeting makes me think that it was indeed a love at first sight for L, and attraction at first sight for N. How he talks about this immediate feeling of warmth, the way he describes her dancing that first time, I think he was slowly on his way down. While her first reaction to him was “how tall he is?”(indirect quote), her facial expression makes me think it was not just his hight that captured her attention. Do you see the difference? For him it was a feeling, for her an appearance. And he is not a touchy fella, even with his BRT family cast as close and friendly as they are, usually it is not him who initiates contact, but not with N (who on the contrary is very touchy) even from the earlier moments of filming. “I don’t really do selfies but if you want one we’ll do that,” “l’m not really a hugger. Oh, you want a hug N, as many as you wish.”

Now as I said LOGICALLY, REALISTICALLY we cannot even truly speculate about events or conventions taken/ not taken, had/not had. For all we know they might have never even admitted to anything, to themselves or each other (doubtful but still). And their relationship are entirely platonic (that would make me question so many things about life but who knows). But from the audience point of view I would say biggest shift definitely happened during s3 filming. I want to make it clear that by no means do I wish to imply any kind of infidelity, quite the opposite I am one of those who believe that until WT their relationship never slipped into romance, beyond perhaps certain tension which I think is sipping into what we see on screens (cough* tongue slip *cough). By which point serious relationship were already over, though I truly think they started to unravel sooner, that it was not pretty, and that L was the driving force of it. Why? There was a little movement in adjacent’s SM life which sparked my memories, S posting “my world” giving of vibes of obvious overcompensation? Well during the filming drought of s3, when all Polin fans were feeding of crumbs, someone reposted J’s post of appreciation to L with those words and additional “don’t get to see him a lot this days” (or something of a kind). Undertone is kind of similar, no? And the way she completely wiped him out of her life? Does not really say parting ways amiably to me😬

Yet again we DO NOT KNOW why hbs happened, how 🐜 got in the picture or where their relationship ever stood. But I will only say this, in my eyes it was the public who gave her the label, and as a result importance, not L, not really. All of her little games only make me believe in this more. She was never given permission to imply anything serious from him, a hotel room, a T-shirt, a hand, easily plausible to not be related to him, but posting his face without his consent? Entirely different story. Now as to her traveling with him, again we don’t know the circumstances behind the scene, was she there as a part of a friends group, her and his sister seemed chummy perhaps in some moments it was on hers behalf, or as an easy travel companion, or perhaps they are insanely in love and we are just fools. We DON’T REALLY KNOW anything, we see only what they allow us to see.

And you know what I saw? L was 😍 from the start of WT, his body language pretty much consistent throughout the entire WT. N on the other hand while always affectionate wasn’t as open or obvious until the second half of WT, especially with her 😍, in some of the last interviews she literally has “check out from reality” moments from looking at him. I see their silence as being sooo loud, especially on L part. They themselves stated that denying or commenting is pretty much pointless when it comes to public’s opinion, N said reading certain things online she would have a moment of “this is hurtful, they don’t even know me. THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW ME!!!” WE DON’T EVEN KNOW THEM, and they know that we don’t even know them, and they are right people will always think what people wish to think. (I for one am glad that more and more famous people feel confident enough to stop bending backwards for fans satisfaction. Public’s entitlement to peoples’ privacy is truly outrageous.) And what I see is that the only people whose point of view in this situation should matter are the two people whom we wish happiness. N and L. Look at what they allow us to see and don’t give attention to background dancers that are trying to distract us with flashy costumes from their inability to be in rhythm. To me some watermarks they paint seem like a beginning of a beautiful painting, but we’ll see what comes of it only when they would wish us to. (Not even going to comment on N supposed adjacent, those who believe that side hug is an epitome of romance, and perceive some barely reliable SM based sleuthing as hard core evidence, to each its own)

Again, apologies for dumping this on you. Truly adorable your blog.

Thank you for the kind words Anon, and glad you are here! ❤️️

[loveless-arobee]

On Queerplatonic Relationships and Amatonormativity

Or: some thoughts on QPRs and why I think that word should be taken away from some of you. Or: Why I can't with some parts of the online aromantic community. (Only some! Most of you are great.)

Disclaimer: If you use QPR to describe any of your relationships, this is not an attack on you, personally. I don't have anything against the concept of QPRs, nor against anyone who has this kind of relationship. If you are in a QPR or want one, all power to you!

These are also mostly just my rambly thoughts and not an insult or attack to anyone personally. It is, however, totally an attack on amatonormativity. But mostly just ranting. Have fun.

Great wall of text incoming. I have a lot of thoughts currently.

First, let's get our definition down: The "queer" in queerplatonic, or queer-platonic does not mean the same as "queer" for people in the LGBT+ community. It has the same root, the word for weird or outside of social norms, but it does not refer to the LGBT+ community. Another word for it is quasi-platonic, but queer-platonic is more widely known. As the root of the name implies, there is no real definition! Anything that is "weird for a platonic relationship", so to say, might be queerplatonic! Anything that falls outside the social norms for a friendship; which means what it means also changes based on the society around you! Yes, that can be a lot.

This means anyone can have a QPR; gay, straight, lesbian, bi, aro, allo, or ace. Anyone. An allo lesbian could be in a QPR with an allo gay man. Two straight guys could be in a QPR. A FWB-arrangement/sexual friendship could be called QPR. Hell, even a straight woman and a straight man can call their relationship a QPR.

Now that we know what a QPR is, I also want to make clear what QPRs are not!

QPRs are not deeper than "just" friendship. They are not somewhere between romantic relationships and friendship ( as in, "in the hierarchy of relationships", I'll get to that.) They are not "relationships, but for aros".

Now, the definition of amatonormativity for anyone who is new here: Amatonormativity is the assumption that all human beings pursue love or romance, especially by means of a monogamous long-term relationship; this is the shortest possible explanation, but it’ll be enough for now.

I want to start with the societal hierarchy of relationships. And that always starts with my hatred of the phrase "just friends"!

I absolutely hate this phrase. I despise it. In both directions: There is "People who are just friends wouldn't do that" (kiss or cuddle for example), or the opposite "They are just friends" (presumably because they don't do "that"). Or "they are more than friends".

Society has put relationships in a hierarchy: simplified, friends are at the bottom, family above them, and at the very top is the monogamous, romantic partner for whom you're supposed to put the first two behind. That is mostly known by people who started to look into amatonormativity.

Now, there are some people who think it is "dismanteling amatonormativity" to simply put another box into the pyramid, squish it in between friends and romantic partner, and label it "queerplatonic relationships", and that's it. They still say this type of relationship is "more than friendship".

But friends are not less than romantic or queerplatonic partners (or family, for that matter); and honestly whenever I hear the phrase "just friends", I assume the person who used it is just a horrible friend who does not at all care for their friends, and always puts them behind their romantic partner(s). Because this phrase does insinuate that friendship is worth less than other types of relationships.

To dismantle amatonormativity, we have to dismantle the idea that friends are "lesser than". And we have to dethrone romantic relationships. Not just add another layer to it.

But now, exept for the people who do what I stated above, what elso do queerplatonic relationships have to do with amatonormativity? Glad you asked!

I see a lot of aros taking the word "queerplatonic" and never deconstructing their own, internalized amatonormativity further. They'll say exactly the same things alloros say, just swaping (romantic) relationship/partner/lover for queerplatonic relationship/partner. I know people are in different stages of finding themselves and understanding amatonormativity, but it tires me out listening to them doing the exact same things that also harm them.

An example of this is aromantic people crying about how much they want a QPR, where to find a QPP, that they are so lonely and need a partner. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but do you not have any friends?

I know they do this because they want the closeness and love society has promised they'd find in a romantic relationship. But now that they've noticed they don't actually want this, they took the "next best thing" and ran with it.

But that is just amatonormativity. It should be questioned further. Why do you want a QPR so badly? Why is "just friends" not enough for you? What can you get out of a relationship that you couldn't also get from friends? What kind of assumptions are you making here?

Relationships, both queerplatonic and romantic, are not the be-all end-all of life. If you cannot be happy single, you will not be happy in a commited relationship of any kind. Sorry to say it so bluntly, but you really can't put your only source of happiness on one person. That is the whole essence of amatonormativity.

You know what the solution is? Find friends! Online or in real life, any maybe you'll find a QPR in there, too. You're not alone, and no matter what amatonormativity tells you, you don't need to be in a commited relationship of any kind to be deserving of whatever it is you want from a QPP! Be that love, intimacy, sex, commitment, a roommate, someone who'll raise a child with you or whatever. Because whatever you can get out of a romantic relationship or a queerplatonic relationship, you also can get out of friendship! Surprise! There are no borders between any of those. It's all just human connection, and whatever word you put on it, only the people inside the relationship can decide what their relationship entails, and what it doesn't!

Yes, that means two friends can totally raise a child together. They can even make that child together! There are no rules. Friends can marry, fuck, buy a house together, be committed to each other and share important life decisions. Romantic/queerplatonic partners could do any of those things, or nothing of it. All this is part of dismantling amatonormativity. Getting rid of all those borders and societal norms, stopping to police what people can or can’t do in what kind of relationships.

That was already a lot, but I'm not done yet.

Another thing I noticed in a-spec spaces is, well, the almost-forcing the QPR on other a-spec people. Not everyone wants a QPR, not every aromantic person is even partnering. I, for example, am completely non-partnering. This includes both romantic relationships and QPRs, and whatever other type of commited relationship you can think of. I only do friendship (and not even that really, but that's my extreme introversion, and has nothing to do with this text.)

There are more people like me out there. Acting like every aromantic person wants a QPR is actively erasing us from the aro-community, and in the end no different than alloros acting like every person should want a romantic relationship, and that aromantics are mentally ill for not wanting that. Y'all are doing the same thing just with different words.

It just feels very alienating, especially coming from my own community. Even more so when it’s happening in the same posts that also point out how bad amatonormativity is for everyone.

Idk, I just wish that would stop and people would just listen to more perspectives outside of their own.

Anyways, have a nice day. I’m done for now.

[contagious-watermelon]

is it just me or have qprs become the nonbinary of relationship types: they originally described a much-needed in-between/outside-of type of experience, but now people have forced them into a strict box that sort of defeats the purpose of the descriptor in the first place

like, there are tons of posts out there bemoaning the creation of a gender trinary / reinventing the binary when it comes to how people treat nonbinary gender — and I'm not nonbinary, so i probably wouldn't be able to describe all the nuances with that as accurately as if i were, but it does feel very similar to how people often discuss qprs —

to me it seems that people have gotten in their heads the concept of a new kind of relationship, in addition to platonic, romantic and/or sexual. but instead of taking it as "some people find this to be useful to describe their relationship dynamic. some do not. all of these people may have very similar or very different relationships; what's important is how the people inside the relationship think of it, rather than how it looks to outsiders," people have added it to the list of relationships and treat it the same way they do the others, in an amatonormative way.

(and note — I've gotten that description of a qpr from reading aromantic stuff online. so it's not like an all-consuming type issue, I'm not parading myself as the sole voice of reason or anything, i just think the view I've seen expressed and paraphrased above should be a lot more common and accessible. bc in my experience it hasnt been, enough)

like, as an example of what I'm talking about: i often see an aro person expressing their difficulties with feeling alone/lonely because they can't or don't want to do romance, and that they wish friendships were taken more seriously — and then the person they're complaining to says something along the lines of "yeah, it really sucks that people prioritize romance so much. but also, have you thought about a qpr?" as if it's some sort of catch-all solution, or romance substitute for lonely aros.

and i know I'm by far not the first person to say this, but people seem to have just reshuffled the relationship hierarchy rather than throwing it out entirely. romance is still on the top, but since you probably don't do that if you're aro, you can have the next best thing, which is a qpr. and then after that is friendship (see: definitions of qprs which imply that friends can't get married, live together, have sex, etc). when really ofc the goal should be relationship anarchy, with none of those relationships being inherently more intimate or serious than any of the others

and i think that is people's goal; it's in human nature, i think, to like things to be in little orderly boxes, with nothing too complicated not to fit within a label and everything completely describable with a few pithy words. I'm guilty of that too, obviously (autistic brain like categorizing), but i think it's detrimental to our ability to actually make any progress dismantling the whole amatonormativity thing, if we just set up a new system that's slightly nicer to all the aros who want and can find a qpr.

[aromantic-diaries]

Hi, I can't really understand whether or not I'm aromantic, and if so, do I have romantic interest at all or not.

I have a loving partner who is the best person in the entire world who understands me perfectly, but both of us are unsure if our love for each other is romantic or not;

Unfortunately we are long distance, and both of us are unsure about sex or any kind of sexual intimacy, but we both like/want to cuddle and kiss each other with the exception on the lips

We can't really test if we like it or not, but to me the idea of kissing someone on the lips just feels weird, and I dunno if I will like it or not, I don't mind it but I don't feel excited about it either, but at the same time they're my favorite person ever and we're special to each other, so is this queer platonic something or is it romantic love?

I mean, I don't have to know right now, but I would be very happy to hear ur opinion :3

Well to start off, whatever you wanna call your relationship is up to you and your partner. There really aren't any rules to what a queerplatonic relationship looks like or what makes it different from a friendship or a romantic relationship. If you feel like queerplatonic is a better way to describe it than romantic then it's queerplatonic

As for whether or not you may be aromantic, that can be a bit of a puzzle so I'll share a bit of my own experience. Similarly to you I had a long distance partner for two years before I knew I was aromantic and though I liked them a lot I often felt unsure about the relationship. After I came out, it was as though nothing changed, we remained friends and later decided to be in a qpr. Maybe ask yourself, are you really romantically attracted to your partner or is it just a sense of affection for them and would anything change if you declared that your relationship wasn't romantic after all?

As for kissing, I can relate to feeling weird about it. I never quite liked the idea of kissing someone on the lips and it's always grossed me out and I turned out to be aroace so there's that

And as a closing thought, a lack of romantic attraction doesn't neccessarily imply a lack of interest or desire. It's normal for aromantic individuals to still want to have a romantic partner, so I suggest looking more into that (i have yet to learn about that aspect of aromanticism as I'm still somewhat focused on dissecting my own experience). You could be romance favourable or romance neutral, or maybe there's a more specific label that could suit you

At the end of the day, if you and your partner are happy with eachother, then it doesn't matter what label you want to put on your relationship. You're the only ones who get to decide what it is, there is no one correct way to love someone, which is sort of what qprs are all about. But knowing yourself does make things less confusing

[hummingbird-of-light]

Against All Odds

Part 95

McCoy

Elation filled him as Scotty told him what Archer had said. They’d done it! They could be friends in front of everyone now! They could head off anything Khan tried to say. Leah would be pleased.

Yet Scotty didn’t look as happy as him. It must have felt like a backhanded compliment to Scotty. To have Archer approve of him but at the same time tell Scotty his other close friend wasn’t as good. To imply he thought Jim was lying.

“I’m sorry Scotty.”

“I know,” Scotty said softly.

McCoy saw a park ahead of them. They could find somewhere to sit and chat and figure this out more a bit more privately than on the sidewalk. He pulled Scotty’s arm to get them moving again.

“We’re going help Jim,” he said as they walked. “I’m not sure how, but we are.”

“I have some ideas,” Scotty said.

McCoy nodded and looked around as they entered the park. There was a fountain. That would be good. They could sit and talk and the water would cover some of their talk from others hearing.

“Hey, umm, Scotty…” McCoy began when they had sat.

“Yeah?”

“I, uhh, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Scotty looked at him confused.

“For being the one who keeps trying to push us further.” He felt his face begin to warm and he just couldn’t look up and meet Scotty’s eyes. “I… I know I’ve been trying to rush things. I’ll… I’ll back off. I’m sorry.”

He snuck a glance up at Scotty. The boy was staring at him. McCoy couldn’t read what was in Scotty’s eyes. He looked back down at his feet.

“Don’t be sorry,” Scotty finally said. “I’m as guilty. I’ve wanted ye too.”

“It’s been the sneaking around and hiding, right?” McCoy asked. “Wanting to get what we could when we could? And now if we can be more open with our friendship… that’ll help, right?”

“Friendship…”

McCoy heard Scotty whisper the word. He thought back to their conversation the night before, how Scotty had hung up quick. How it had hurt to call what they had between them only friendship.

“Scotty… we’re… what are we?” He watched Scotty frown slightly. McCoy looked back at his feet again. “We’re… we’re more than just friends, right?”

McCoy’s stomach tightened nervously. He realized he was scared of what Scotty might say. He knew the Scotsman agreed there was a deeper connection between them, but would he say that? Would he want to put a label on it like McCoy did? Would putting a name to what they had, what they were, change anything? If Scotty didn’t agree they were more than friends what would that do? Could they continue then?

McCoy looked up hesitantly as Scotty began to answer.

Part 96

Scotty

“I…”

He didn’t know what to say. Leonard had called their relationship a friendship before. Yet now, he was admitting to there being more between them.

And… Scott felt the same. He knew that there was more to them. Why else would they want the thing Leonard had apologized for just now? Why else did they long for each other’s touch and kisses?

“Aye, we… we are more than friends.”

Leonard’s eyes filled with hope and his shoulders seemed to slump in relief. Apparently he had hoped for this answer.

“Then… what are we?”

Scotty couldn’t help but shrug. He had not the slightest idea.

“I dinnae ken. I… just…” How should he explain it? There weren’t any words to describe it.

“I feel something for ye, Leonard. But… it can’nae happen. Ye are a prince. And I… am just a normal lad from Scotland.”

A lump was forming in his throat as he talked. The sound of the rushing water of the fountain nearly drowned out his voice.

“No… don’t say that, Scotty. You are more than that. I… I like you. I feel something for you too.”

By now Scotty was the one staring at his feet. It hurt too much to look at the other boy.

From the corner of his eye he could see Leonard moving his hand, but the prince stopped it before their fingers could touch.

That was just it. It couldn’t happen. They could never be as close as they wanted to be in public. They could only be… friends.

“We will make it work. But for now… can’t we just enjoy the time we can spend together?”

Scotty looked up so that his eyes could meet Leonard’s.

A smile formed on his lips.

“Aye, I suppose we can.”

That’s what his mother had always taught Robbie and him. To enjoy the little things. To worship what they had.

“Let’s… try to have a good time. After all… that’s what we planned, right?”

Yes… they had indeed planned a nice afternoon. But now everything was different. Jim might get suspended. Khan could find out about them. People could see them together and make assumptions.

Still, he nodded. He had to try and forget about his worries for some time.

“Come on, I know a great ice cream parlor nearby.”

Scotty got up and Leonard smiled back, followed him.

[samwisethewitch]

What does it mean to be pagan? (Paganism 101 Ch. 1)

That’s right, y’all! With Baby Witch Bootcamp officially wrapped, it’s time to jump into our next long term series! I put out a poll on Patreon, and my patrons voted for Paganism 101 as our next series. While not all witches are pagan and not all pagans are witches, there is a lot of overlap between the two groups. Both witchcraft and paganism offer practitioners a sense of freedom, a deeper connection to the world around them, and a greater awareness of their personal power.

I identify both as a witch and as a pagan, and I get a lot of questions about paganism. In this series, we’ll go through the basics: what it means to be pagan, the difference between a neopagan and a reconstructionist, and the role of magic in different pagan traditions. We’ll also talk about some of the most popular modern pagan traditions and how to find the right tradition for you.

Let’s start off by answering the question, “What does pagan actually mean?”

Defining “Pagan”

It’s important to remember that “pagan” is an umbrella term that encompasses a wide range of different faiths. Someone who practices Wicca, for example, will have very different beliefs from someone who practices Hellenismos. These different faiths are linked by a shared history, rather than by shared beliefs or practices.

The word “pagan” comes from the Latin “paganus,” which literally means “area outside of a city” or, to phrase it slightly differently, “countryside.” This adjective was used to describe people and things that were rustic or rural and, over time, came to also have the connotation of being uneducated. Originally, the word had no religious association, and was even used to refer to non-combatants by the Roman military.

From this definition, we can gain some insight into what makes a religion or practice pagan. Pagans feel a kinship with the wild or rural places of the world, and are comfortable waking “off the beaten path.”

But how did “paganus” come to refer to a type of religion, anyway?

To understand the religious meaning of “paganus,” it’s necessary to understand a little bit about the religion of Ancient Rome. Rome (the city) was built inside a pomerium, a sacred boundary that formed a spiritual border around the city and its people. Paganus folks were those who lived outside the pomerium and, as such, may not have been strict adherents of the state religion — they certainly wouldn’t have been able to travel into the city for every major festival. They may have gotten a bit more creative with their worship of the gods. However, as previously stated, the word paganus did not have an explicitly religious meaning in ancient times.

The use of paganus as a religious label began after the legalization of Christianity by the Roman Emperor Constantine in 313 C.E. Christianity would not be adopted as the official state religion until 380 C.E., but Constantine’s conversion and decriminalization of Christian worship paved the way for Rome’s transformation into a Christian state. It was around this time, as Christianity was quickly growing in urban areas, that early Roman Christians began using the word “paganus” to refer to those who still practiced polytheism. Rather than referring to those outside the city’s boundary or to untrained civilians, the label now referred to those outside the Church, those who were not “soldiers of Christ.”

As Christianity spread in popularity throughout the Mediterranean, Europe, and Northern Africa, the pagan label was applied to all non-Christians in those areas. The word “pagan” became a derogatory label, implying an inferior and backwards religion.

So, really, the thing that makes a religion pagan is a historical conflict with Christianity. Pagan religions are those that were suppressed or completely destroyed after Christianity became the dominant faith in the region.

This is why Norse Paganism and Kemetic (Egyptian) polytheism, which are very different, are both considered “pagan” while Shinto, a Japanese religion that shares a lot of common features with many pagan faiths, is not. Because Christianity never achieved total dominance in Japan, Shinto was never pushed aside to make room for Jesus.

In the 20th century, people who felt drawn to these old religions started to reclaim the pagan label. Like many other reclaimed slurs, “pagan” became a positive label for a community united by their shared history.

What do all pagans have in common?

This is a tough question to answer because, as stated above, paganism is a historical definition, not one shaped by belief or practice. However, there are some things most pagans have in common. Here are a few of them, although these concepts may take different forms in different traditions.

Paganism…

… is (usually) polytheistic. Most pagans do not subscribe to monotheism, the belief in a single, all-powerful divine being. Some pagans are polytheists, meaning they believe in multiple divine beings with varying levels of power. Hellenic pagans, Norse pagans, and Celtic pagans are typically polytheists. Still others are monists, meaning they believe in a single divine source that manifests itself as multiple gods. Wiccans and other neopagans are typically monists. Many pagans fall somewhere in-between strict polytheism and strict monism. We’ll talk more about polytheism in a future post, but for now just know that the idea of a single, supreme creator is not compatible with most forms of paganism.

… is based in reciprocity. This is a concept that may seem odd to those who grew up around Abrahamic religions: the idea of engaging the gods in a mutually beneficial partnership, rather than one-sided worship. When we connect with the gods, we receive spiritual, emotional, and physical blessings. The gods also benefit, as they are strengthened by our prayers and offerings. (I like to think they also enjoy the company. It has to be lonely, having your body of worshipers supplanted by an anarchist carpenter from Palestine.) The concept of reciprocity is why most pagans make physical offerings to their gods.

Reciprocity also extends to our relationships with other people. Most pagan religions have a code of ethics that includes values like hospitality, kindness, and/or fairness with others. Depending on the pagan, reciprocity may even extend to the dead! Many (but not all) pagans practice ancestor worship, the act of honoring and venerating the beloved dead.

Reciprocity may even extend to the world at large. Some (but not all) pagans are animists, which means they believe that every animal, plant, and stone contains its own spirit. Animist pagans strive to live in harmony with the spirits of the world around them, and may make offerings to these spirits as a sign of friendship.

… embraces the Divine Feminine. Paganism acknowledges and venerates both masculine and feminine expressions of divinity. Polytheist pagans worship both gods and goddesses, while monist pagans see the divine Source as encompassing all genders. In either case, the end result is the same: pagans acknowledge that, sometimes, God is a woman. (Cue the Ariana Grande song.)

Paganism also acknowledges gender expressions outside the masculine/feminine binary. Many pagan deities, like Loki (in Norse paganism), Atum (in Kemetic paganism), and Aphroditus (a masculine aspect of the Greek Aphordite) exist somewhere in the grey area between man and woman.

… is compatible with a mystic mindset. Remember how I said there’s a lot of overlap between witchcraft and paganism? Part of the reason for that is because paganism is highly compatible with magic and other mystical practices. Most pagans believe that humans have, or can attain, some level of divine power. It makes sense that this power would manifest as magic, or as other spiritual abilities. Many of the ancient cultures modern paganism draws inspiration from practiced magic in some form, so it follows that modern pagans would as well.

… draws inspiration from the ancient stories. As we discussed, “pagan” originally referred to the religious groups that were pushed out by Christian hegemony. As a result, every modern pagan is a little bit of a historian. Because paganism was pushed underground, it takes a little digging to find myths, rituals, and prayers that can be used or adapted for modern practice.

Many pagans worship historic deities that you’ve probably read about at some point. Visit any pagan pride event, and you’ll probably find worshipers of Zeus, Venus, Thor, and Isis, just to name a few. Studying and interpreting ancient mythology and archaeological evidence is a big part of modern paganism.

… is a religion with homework. If you’ve read this far, you may be beginning to realize that being pagan is a lot of work. It’s fun, spiritually fulfilling, and very rewarding work, but work all the same. Because very few modern pagans have access to temples, priests and priestesses, or an in-person community that shares their beliefs, they end up having to teach themselves, do their own research, and guide their own practice.

This is incredibly empowering, as it means you are your own religious authority. It does, however, mean that you will occasionally have to open a book or slog through a dense academic article about the most recent archaeological find related to your favorite deity. Thankfully, there’s a growing number of accessible, beginner-friendly books, blogs, podcasts, and YouTube channels to help you in your research.

… embodies a deep respect for the natural world. While not all pagans are animists, most pagans do feel some sort of reverence for the forces of nature. Many pagan deities are associated with natural forces or use the natural world to communicate with their followers. Because of this, not only do pagans respect and love nature, but they’re constantly watching it for signs and messages. (Are you really friends with a pagan if they haven’t called you crying because they found a crow feather on the ground or saw a woodpecker in their backyard?)

Some pagan groups, especially neopagan religions like Wicca, have been classified as Earth-centered religions. Personally, I dislike this term. While it is true that many pagans feel a deep spiritual connection to the Earth and may even venerate local nature spirits, to say that these religions are “Earth-centered” feels like an oversimplification. Wiccans, for example, don’t actually worship nature — they worship the God and Goddess, who they see reflected in the natural world.

… is driven by individual spiritual practice. As mentioned above, very few pagans have access to an in-person community. Because of this, modern paganism largely consists of individual practices. Even pagans who do belong to a community still typically worship on their own sometimes. These personal practices may involve prayer, offerings to the gods, meditation, divination, astral travel, performing religious rituals, or countless other practices. Many pagans have personal altars in their homes, where they worship alone or with their family.

… is a celebration of daily life. One thing I love about paganism is how it makes every aspect of my life feel sacred. Many religions emphasize the spiritual aspects of life while deemphasizing, or even demonizing, the physical or mundane aspects. This can lead to practitioners feeling like they are spiritual beings trapped in a physical body, or like their physical needs and desires are something to escape.

Paganism allows practitioners to fully enjoy being physical and spiritual beings. Pagans reach for the heights of spiritual awareness, while also enjoying earthly delights — recognizing that neither is inherently more worthy than the other and that both are needed for a balanced life.

… is only one of many paths to Truth. Most pagan groups do not claim to be the only valid religious path, and in fact several openly acknowledge the validity of other religions. This is why you rarely see pagans trying to convert other people to paganism — it’s openly acknowledged that paganism isn’t for everyone, and that those who are truly meant to practice the old ways will find them.

~~~

Hopefully, this post has given us a good working definition of “paganism.” From here, we’ll explore some of these individual concepts in more depth and discuss specific religions within the pagan umbrella. Until then, blessed be.

Resources:

Wicca for Beginners by Thea Sabin

Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner by Scott Cunningham

A Witches’ Bible by Janet and Stewart Farrar

The Way of Fire and Ice by Ryan Smith

Where the Hawthorn Grows by Morgan Daimler

Temple of the Cosmos by Jeremy Naydler

A Practical Guide to Irish Spirituality by Lora O’Brien

[gra-sonas]

I love you but please PLEASE stop shipping Tyler and Michael irl, whenever you say something people take it as godspeak and we all know Michael is straight and, last we knew Tyler was in a committed relationship. You stopped identifying as bisexual but you shouldn't throw us all under the bus

Okay, my first reaction upon reading your ask was IGNORE IT, my second was MOCK IT (at least the part about Vlamburn). But it's been a couple of hours since you sent it, and I'm going to answer in earnest bc it really irks and upsets me.

First of all: I couldn't possibly ship them any harder than they ship themselves. If asked, I'm sure they'd very much agree with me describing what they are doing as flirting (or something similar). And there's nothing wrong with that? It's all harmless fun and feeds into our excitement for Malex. Big fucking deal.

However, I'm under no illusion that they could possibly be a couple irl. Apart from identifying as straight, Vlamis is clearly very happy in his relationship with Aurora (and vice versa), and I have the utmost respect for that (they are cute af together, and I wish them nothing but eternal happiness, if anything, I'm shipping their love!).

Tyler's personal life/relationship status on the other hand is exactly that: personal. I appreciate everything he's sharing, but I'm not going to speculate about intimate details (I get tons of asks about that regularly, and they all remain unanswered bc it's none of my fucking business 🤷‍♀️).

So, am I going to stop doing what I do regarding Vlamburn on social media or the way I post about them? Hell no, why would I? It's all harmless fun and very much on par with what they are doing. There's nothing "inappropriate" or "disrespecting" about my posts, and honestly, if there are people who can't differentiate between the harmless flirty fun they are providing, and assuming they are fucking irl, that's on them, not me.

I'm not responsible for how people read their relationship - which imo is that of two colleagues (who also happen to be good friends) who are clearly very fond of each other, adore each other, and have zero issues with intimacy, innuendo, or riling each other up in the comment sections. Do I believe they are a couple or fuck irl? No, I don't. Do I imply any of that in my posts? Also no.

They are (willingly and fully aware) playing into a fantasy, where sometimes the lines between the fictional couple they play on screen, and their rl friendship can get a bit blurry, but never in a way that would make me think there's actually more.

If anyone else does that, that's their thing (and I'm not shaming here, just keep it away from the actors), but I'm certainly not running an RPF blog here, where I promote the illusion that they are secretly a couple.

whenever you say something people take it as godspeak

Uhm... WHAT??? I'm fairly certain that's not the case. I have zero authority (least of all any kind of godly authority) over anyone. We're all just fans here. I happen to have an active blog, yes, but I'm only stating my personal opinion here, and I'm trying to provide information and facts, and that's it.

I'm not here telling anyone what to ship, how to ship it, or what not to ship. And really, for all I care, as long as no harm is done to any real persons (especially the actors themselves), if people want to ship Vlamburn "for real", go forth and do whatever floats your boat. RPF is first and foremost a fantasy, a what-if. And lbr, these two make it REALLY easy to imagine things.

I understand that it's not for everyone, and the concept of RPF/RP shipping makes a lot of people feel uncomfortable. And that's perfectly valid. No one has to like it.

But again, unless the actors are being roped into anything, are made feeling uncomfortable, or people do shit like attack Aurora for being with Vlam (to my knowledge none of this has happened, and I hope to god that it never will!), and as long as it's strictly kept in fandom circles, I have no issues with it.

You stopped identifying as bisexual but you shouldn't throw us all under the bus

And this is the part of your ask where I got angry and irritated and then really upset. What the everloving fuck are you talking about???

Last time I checked (THIS VERY SECOND), I'm as bisexual as ever. I've fought fucking hard to claim that label for myself, and just bc I also happen to identify as demi/gray-A, that doesn't make me any less bisexual.

Demi for me is just an additional identifier that describes a little more closely how I feel. I don't identify as asexual tho. I love and cherish the ace community, and I feel very close to them, but I am 100% bisexual, and no one gets to tell me I'm not. Fucking hell. How dare you!

Srsly, I'm so pissed about this. Do you have any idea how hard it is to come to terms with how you feel, how fucking hard it is to find labels that might fit, and then claim any of them for yourself, always doubting, always worrying you're not "bi enough"?

And then some holier-than-thou queer police asshole on the internet comes along and tells you you're not what you know is your truth? Don't ever do that to anyone else, it fucking sucks.

Thanks for making me angry and upset, I really didn't need that today (or any other day).

And really, where and how am I "throwing anyone under the bus"??? The way I identify has nothing to do with this blog, the way I post, and least of all with whether anyone thinks Vlamburn are more than friends/colleagues.

Man, next time you consider sending an ask like this to someone you claim you "love", think again. And then don't type any of this BS into a tiny box and send it to a real person.

Thanks for making an otherwise happy day unnecessarily more shitty.

[coffeeflavoredcookies]

Krbk OS (SFW) Fic Recs

These are all mostly SFW, even the ones rated M aren’t very graphic but do check the tags to make sure you know what you’re getting into. 

The order doesn’t matter.

Enjoy !

Little are the things we learn by newamsterdam. (probably the thing that got me into Krbk, just an analysis of their relationship through their classmates’ eyes)

It’s ideal by newamsterdam. (angels AU, very very good)

Cotton candy hands by Chonideno. (soft. So so soft. Just. Very soft)

Neon Season by Chonideno. (Road trip AU. Very very VERY good. The pinning, the feels! It’s just. GREAT. Also they shared a cookie and I died)

Avian by Chonideno. (they meet in an airport, it’s so so sweet).

Do you need me by All_My_Characters_Are_Dead. (Established relationship, Bakugo had doubts. very soft)

I’ll be your dead sea, you’ll never sink when you’re with me by Claus_Lucas. (Bakugo is very in love with Kirishima, and in awe of how amazing he is.)

There is going to be a party when the wolves come home by Claus_Lucas. (Domestic fluff with a little bit of angst because it’s Claus_Lucas)

One to ten by Crunchrapsupreme. (ten steps to get to Baku’s heart. Very funny)

How they got detention for a week by eggstasy. (Kami is worried about his bro dating Bakugo, hilarity ensues)

Downhill by eggstasy. (Kiri is the mom friend)

Marketable by eggstasy. (A girl from the management department gets interested in Baku’s career. Jealousy ensues.)

Give it rest by ellieb3an. (Kirishima pushes himself too much, baku is there to stop him)

The thing I wanted to say by ellieb3an. (aged up, pro heroes, confessions, fluff. Very soft)

Waiting for some peace of mind by ellieb3an. (Baku and Kami are worried for Ei and their friends)

The view from the peak by ellieb3an. (Aged up Bakugo thinks back to the road he took to make it where he is, and he’s happy Kiri’s there with him, at the top of his priorities)

And he might yell (they’re in love) by misilia. (we don’t talk nearly enough about this beautiful masterpiece, basically everyone is doubting krbk’s relationship, and it’s taking its toll on our angry boy. It’s really good)

This is getting kinda out of my hand (this is getting kinda out of my head) by multiclassmaps. (marriage proposal. Happy and fluffy)

Dream where you are now by multiclassmaps. (Bakugo makes Kirishima fly. They’re both very happy)

And I thought I was so smart by Slumber. (Bakugo looks at Kirishima. Set after the “I’m gonna make you eat my Horowitz” it’s very soft)

And my heart went boom by Slumber. (Kiri is a mechanic, Baku is weak and Deku is his best friend. It’s all very good. Like REALLY good)

Domestic life was never quite my style by Slumber. (they cook for each other, their classmates spy)

I think we’re alone now by tauontauoff. (they just make out after training, but this is the fluffiest softest thing ever. They’re in LOVE)

What to do about this and you by tauontauoff. (Bakugo tries to say what he feels, very soft)

Stay with me by tuslee. (Basically Kiri and Baku are perfect for each other with a side of shipper Deku)

Pop rocks by dynapunk. (Bakugo catches feelings, very soft, very good)

Peace, Love and Happiness by kkyojing66. (this is more of a mido/baku friendship centric, with hippies and a dead cactus (curtsey of Midokun) and hickies (curtsey of Kiri))

The hard easy by dirtbag. (kissing lessons, they catch feelings)

Wild blood by qactus. (Street Racing AU, I won’t be able to describe how good it is with my own words. Go read it)

A trial in patience by Meadie. (Kiri loves his husband, even at 50, very soft)

A soft morning by Teararesalty. (Kiri is just really in love with baku. They have a cat)

Things soft and precious by gloop. (mama bakugo watches her son fall in love with sunshine fashion disaster. It’s really sweet and good)

Fools by paxus. (Kiri and baku are in love, except bakugo bolts. It gets better)

Cheesy boritos by Mariano. (the boys are cuddling and happy and it’s very soft and sweet)

The force and the object by umisabaku. (a very short comparison of their relationship to the force and the object)

Bakugo can’t feel by Clocklessnight. (Bakugo doesn’t get feelings, he seeks help and it’s chaos)

Just want my head on your shoulder by littlelionvanz. (Bakugo is touch starved, Kiri is there, very soft)

I woke up in love this morning by tuisku. (Bakugo doesn’t wake up grumpy when he’s got a boyfriend to kiss him good morning. Very soft)

Cultivating something so divine by redriotinggg. (Vet AU. It’s a slow burn and it’s REALLY good, like nobody talks about it and idk WHY it’s so good!!!)

Touching and Touched by Plus3Charisma. (soft and sweet, kirishima just wants to love his Baku)

Legitness by generic_handle. (BakuCamie brotp, hilarious)

Matches by Rued. (Soulmate AU, it’s so cute)

Nobody but you by SlitherinsInSpace. (They get married as soon as they legally can. They’re in love, your honor)

Quake by MixBerkaan. (Kiri suffers the aftermath of a mission gone wrong where he accuses himself of not having done enough. A woman is there to offer insight. It’s very very GOOD. krbk implied)

oh shit, I’m the grown up by ohlookatthestars. (Established relationship fluff and humor, with todo as a neighbor. Very funny)

Solid and warm by justlikeswitchblades. (Baku is jealous of a tattoo. just soft and sweet future fic)

Beating in time by patster223. (Kiri is a vampire, Baku is oblivious. It’s Hilarious!)

Lay to rest by Cazuki. (Kirishima is not okay, and Bakugo tries to make his night a little better. Established relationship, pro heroes.)

Help me, Help you by cambarryshortcake. (they’re so in love and it’s very fluffy)

The tap of your fingers by peregrin_took. (they learn Morse code and communicate with it, it’s very sweet)

Wrap Me Up by zizira. (Kiri hurts his hand on his punching bag, Baku takes care of him)

The bound that hold us together by Punkakess. (Fantasy AU! Bakugo remembers the day they met when he’s in a pinch.)

10080 minutes and counting by starlitdreamscapes. (Kirishima tries to convince Bakugo that he should date him in a week.)

Even present; odd future by shizuumi151. (Bakugo and Kirishima head to the pool together, after Midoriya contacted them. Set in the pool episode in s3)

You’re mine by aheartbeatlikehurricanes. (Pirates AU. Kiri gets drunk and rambles. It’s very cute!)

Fermata by HuaFeiHua. (inspired by the “drop what you’re holding and catch me” thing. It has kmjr and it’s very cute and funny)

As long as it’s you by Ireokee. (established relationship. They go on a trip, and they’re in love and happy. Very soft and fluffy)

A tenderness you can’t let go by punchmonk. (it’s so so sweet, the pinning is so good, and you’ll never look at oranges without shedding a tear <3)

Built to last by Heronfem. (Bakugo gets the shovel talk, but really, everyone loves him. It’s very good)

Curry and PDA by CharWright5. (third year baku holds kiri’s hand under the table and it’s so sweet <3)

Five Times Bakugo Pretended To Date His Classmates And One Time He Dated A Classmate For Real by songofsunset. (hilarious)

Glow by argentConflagration. (Baku is very in love with Kiri, and they get together. It’s really sweet)

I adore you by a heartbeatlikehurricanes. (they watch fireworks as they cuddle on the sand. So soft, so fluffy)

Raise me up by Exborodokills. (soft kisses, so many kisses)

Say you like me by gasmask. (Baku thinks his crush on Kiri is unrequited, until he’s proven wrong. Very sweet)

Sleepless by Megasheep. (soft todoroki, with side tddk and krbk)

Such a funny pair by Ellieb3an. (Fantasy AU where little Baku runs from home for one afternoon and meets small dragon kiri and they become friends. It’s really cute)

Tag, you’re it by awareoftheconcept. (Established relationship, lots of teasing, they’re all having a game of tag and it’s very funny. The interactions are all really good)

Take my hand by imatrisarahtops. (Kirishima loves Bakugo’s hands, and Bakugo wonders how Kiri understands him so well. It’s really sweet)

The colour of youth by katarasvevo. (No quirks AU where they grow in the same neighborhood. It’s really good)

Words of affirmation by imatrisarahtops. (Bakugo tries to tell Kiri how he feels. Very soft)

You’ll have to take me down by pickledbrows. (Bakugo is a workaholic, Kirishima ain’t having none of it. domestic fluff, aged up, pro heros)

A matter of chance by Poteto. (Kiri wants to wait for his soulmate, until he meets grumpy boy. With a side of disastrous friends Mina and Tetsu. It’s so hilarious I actually cried)

Heaven has nothing on you by PoutyBats. (Angel and demon AU. It’s really sweet and amazing. A must read)

I’m going to the forest to kick my own ass by WannabeMarySue. (Todo slips a book on emotional intelligence for dummies under Baku’s bed. It’s very funny)

It’s not like that by Falahime. (Kiri is a little jealous of how Bakugo is always looking at Deku)

More than okay by imatrasarahtops. (Baku tries to grab Kiri’s hand as they go hiking together. It’s so sweet you’ll melt)

My worst enemy by Paperficwriter. (Bakugo and Kiri like kissing, but never bothered to put a label on their relationship until hot lion boy comes and Baku starts panicking)

So far, so good by lkaminaris. (Kami tries to match up Kiri and Baku, except they’re already together. It’s hilarious. Side kmjr)

Your warmth is all I need by drinfting_i. (fantasy AU. Baku saves a dragon, and they slowly build a bound. It’s very beautiful. Like, so beautiful I’m sure I shed a tear or two)

Blisters by eggstasy. (Bakugo learns to deal with feelings slowly, the way his dad thought him to deal with his quirk. It’s so sweet, and the way the story sort of flows, like every little detail matters. I’m in awe of eggstasy’s writing. I’m pretty sure I cried. Honestly, it’s eggstasy, like do you need any more convincing)

Against all odds, thriving by jettiebettie (Shiozaki and Bakugo end up working together on a photography project, Ibara ships krbk, it’s very soft, also quality Ibara content <3)

And quietly, easily, you’ve made a home out of my heart by earlygrey_milktea (kiribaku don’t realize they’ve been dating for years, it’s SO good)

At the beginning (with you) by EnchantedEmmeline (krbk get married, it’s absolutely hilarious!)

Battle Wounds by imatrisarahtops (“I’m mad at you because I love you”, so SO sweet)

Boys are stupid by deviance (that one where kiri gets a bf and bakuangst and pinning happens)

Distracted by Ellieb3an (baku’s new costume happens. The boys are so in love. I’m soft)

Guaranteed chemistry by mechanicalUniverses (they run through the rain and confess and it’s so soft and GOOD)

How to play hard to get according to bakugo katsuki by Claus_Lucas (he leaves kiri a map and makes him look for him to confess.)

Is there sunlight on your bed by poetic_leopard (kissing practice! Super poetic and sweet!)

It started with a kiss, so glad we end up like this by crackalackin. (social media au where kiri and baku are famous and their fans ship them)

Life’s a drag(on) by PurplePersnickety (baku meets a dragon and falls in love with his cute neighbor. It’s sweet and funny !!)

Lights, camera, love! By mobs (I read it a while ago and I remember this fic like in a dream? I remember it’s super soft, and domestic. They’re married and happy and everything is great)

Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all by theroyalsavage (the 10 things I hate about you AU. Kiri fake dates Baku to help Todo get Deku. Very good)

(Not quite) proposal by imatrisarahtops (baku gets drunk and asks kiri to marry him in a funny way).

Once upon a dream by bleukitsune (kiri and baku meet in their dreams and fall in love. It’s perfect)

Past by imatrisarahtops. (“I came back to win you back”, really soft. Really good)

[please don’t] think of me by detectivelion (kiri gets hit by a mind reading quirk and everything hurts. But baku makes things just a little bit better)

Purple’s Kiribaku drabbles by PurplePersnickety (very soft drabbles, guaranteed to make your day)

Rotten work by theseourbodies (kiri misunderstands bakugo and deku’s talk, bakugo reassures him. It’s really sweet)

Seeing red by Ellieb3ean (a piece about Bakugo’s character growth and his friendship/relationship with kiri. It’s absolutely amazing. It’s my all-time favorite thing in the whole world. It’s so beautiful, I am IN LOVE)

So come one come all and see the show tonight by roxashighwind (krbk new year kiss from pinky and cellophane’s pov, so so sweet)

Social Climb by onceandforall (the media is sure hero partners Bakugo and Deku are dating, it’s hilarious, even Kiri and Todo think so. It’s just, really good!)

Sun send me the moon by Ellieb3ean (another masterpiece. Dragon and werewolf AU where krbk are star-crossed lovers! It’s so bittersweet and perfect)

the dawn is surely coming by Notspiderman (amazing take on the fantasy AU, with an immortal bakugo, and his life through the centuries. It’s. really good. I’m not kidding, it’s AMAZING).

The misadventures of pinky and blasty mcsplode by beebuzz (abslotely hilarious modern AU, where Mina sets fire to baku’s kitchen and kiri is the firefighter on call. It’s really funny and Mina makes things 1000x better)

The most opportune robbery by IronicVeghead (the one where Kiri is the MVP, saves the day on his way home after buying flowers for his Baku. Really soft and also cool, since Kiri gets to shine)

This mess is mine by QuirklessWonder (soft day out with Baku and his daughter, it’s so sweet, I melt)

Till death do us part by codename_bewareofthefangirl (the reincarnation AU that’ll tear your heart apart and fill the void with so many feels. It’s really good)

Unleashed by Mysecretfanmoments (Baku skips a class outing, then sees a vid of Kiri. He realizes he doesn’t want to miss anything from Kirishima’s life. It’s really good)

Yours, forever by MissPlacemat (Kirishima and Bakugo run away from their own wedding. It’s really good!)

Achromatosia by PurplePersnickety. (Soulmates AU where you only see colors after you meet your soulmate, but Bakugo is color blind!)

Almost by Julietwasanidiot. (Established relationship. Pro heroes. Bakugo gets seriously injured in a fight against a villain and Kiri takes care of him while being super angry at him. The end is super soft.)

Brain melties by PurplePersnickety. (Kiri catches a cold and Bakugo takes care of him. It’s really soft)

The best medicine by chezca. (Bakugo laughs and Kiri falls in love. It’s so soft and it’s canon compliant and makes everything 100% softer and better. An absolute must read)

If we jump farther by Ellieb3an. (Kiri and Baku meet in the wild a few times and then decide to stick to together and love happens. But also, the way she writes their relationship is always *chef kiss*. And the ART is so good. Honestly, go read it.)

Almost by Julietwasanidiot (Bakugo almost gets killed, Kirishima is pissed as he tends to him)

When a rock an a hard place love each other very much by Shizuumi151 (Bakugo and Kirishima talk about their feelings to Kaminari who finds himself stuck in the middle and he cares for them both so much. It’s perfect.)

It’s pouring out here by Shizuumi151 (man read the author’s name that’s all you need to know)

Silvermoon's Sparkling by roxashighwind (indirect kisses and dumb boys in love)

Quietly by chezka ( the softest friends to lovers fic ever. Also it’s chezka my friends)

the world you keep erasing by Slumber (the soulmate AU where they chose each other.)

done with having dreams (the thing that i believe) by futurehearts (it’s new years and the new hero rankings come out and Bakugo’s got an extra surprise for Kirishima. It’s very soft)

just you wait by Slumber (this one’s about the Bakusquad growing together and loving each other. It’s. super good)

neither rain nor sleet nor all these feels by shizuumi151 (it’s, as Kaminari describes it, the premise of a porn movie with mailman Kirishima and stay-at-home Bakugo hitting on him, except it’s just the fluff and humor)

A Creature Made Out Of Stardust by Stylish_Racoon (Bakugo saves a Merman who in turn (spoiler alert) saves his life. Very good)

Soul Impact by JinxedForever (Soul Eater AU where krbk are partners!)

Heart Made For Taking Flight by timetoboldlygo (Bakugo is royalty. He ran away from home and met Kirishima with whom he formed a soul bond, add some family drama and a dragon swiping in to get his husband back. It’s perfect)

Sometimes We Fall in the Dark by timetoboldlygo (no quirks college AU where gets into photography as a hobby and falls in love as he takes pictures of Kirishima)

astrum by popcap (soulmates AU where Bakugo’s in denial about not caring that his soulmate won’t like him because of his Mom. Really good)

No Secrets to Success by kingdoms (Kirishima’s a little late to joining UA so he befriends Bakugo before he gets there and it’s very sweet)

The Only Word by PurplePersnickety (krbk through the years)

Love language by cyanlana (they love each other in their own way. Kirishima by noticing the smallest little things, and Bakugo by taking care of him. The confession is really really sweet <333)

Things Unspoken by deviance (content and happy Bakugo, loving his friends and being loved, and also, he’s so in love with Kirishima, he just never thought Kirishima wanted to talk about it. It’s so soft)

Scales Ain't The Same As Feathers by Julietwasanidiot (Bakugo is an idiot who thinks a whole ass dragon is a chicken. Mitsuki and Kirishima play along. It’s funny and sweet)

Breathing Half A Breath (Since You're Away) by Julietwasanidiot (krbk got their separate ways after graduation, but they keep in touch. The longing, the craving, in this fic is like no other. By the time they’re standing next to each other again, you’re gonna feel as happy as they do. It’s a really good fic)

Renegade Quirk by threesipsmore (Bakugo’s hit by a quirk that colors people according to their moods. He realizes things. Very good. VERY very good. The getting together part is *chef kiss*).

Prove Me Right by MonocerosRex (Bakugo overhears Kirishima talking about his crush on him and wonders about what he feels regarding that. So he sets out to find out! It’s very very good)

What We Deserve by ThreeNicotinePatches (Bakugo gets the shovel talk from Kaminari and realizes he maybe hasn’t been treating Kirishima as well as he deserves. When a peek at his diary confirms that his boyfriend isn’t sure of Bakugo’s love, he sets to change that. It’s good)

Ocean of flame by Heronfem (Bakugo’s a captain and Kirishima’s a Master and Commander and they fall in love and are badass and they get married what more do you need)

slow to launch by evvi (krbk lose contact after UA but then they meet again and it’s a sort of meet cute and it’s very sweet) (Rater M)

Keeping score by indigonow (kirishima likes bakugo when he’s pleasant but really, kirishima just likes bakugo in general. It’s very good)

Don't ever put me second by cyanlana (they’re both a bit dumb but they figure it out, it’s a getting together fic and it’s sweet)

lionhearted by dearwormwood (Kirishima thinks they’re fakedating, Bakugo thinks they’re dating for real. It’s very good) (rated M)

come on crash into me, 'cause i want us to collide by rronanllynch (Bakugo’s an idiot who thinks his problem with Kirishima kissing other boys is him suddenly contracting homophobia. Turns out he’s just in love).

If You Can't Say Anything Nice, Don't Say Anything At All by Falahime (Bakugo gets hit by a truth quirk and he starts avoiding Kirishima. It’s vert good !) (rated M)

come home to me by aloera (krbk get hit by a quirk that lets them hear each other’s thoughts. Very noice)

Stitches (Three) by Stylish_Racoon (Bakugo’s a doctor and Kirishima comes for stiches and god, they’re so cute. Listen, it’s Stylish_Racoon why are you waiting to read it)

FBO by Falahime (there are attempted proposals, a date crashed by villains, and sweet sweet established krbk. Very soft) (Rated M)

It's Not Like That by Falahime (Kirishima is a bit jealous of Bakugo’s attention on Deku)

By Dawn, Promise Me by chezka (It’s chezka and it’s hanahaki. Do I need to say more)

u got smthn i want by fruti2flutie (Bakugo thinks Kirishima is dating Poney, but turns out she’s into him. He gets a new friend out of this deal, and a boyfriend. It’s very good!)

Just You, Me, and the Breaths Between Us by haha__gay (Bakugo’s got a sleep walking problem and Kirishima finds out and tries to help)

dancing girls (and snapping rubber bands) by gummyconcrete (a lot of feelings going on in this one. Don’t know how to explain it, but it’s GOOD) (rated M)

to have and to hold by aloera (krbk are married and own a restaurent together but their friends are dumb and don’t know they’re married. It’s very soft and sweet)

what we deserve by aloera (soulmate AU with timers. Full of Bakusquad loving and some good getting together)

pickup lines and valentines by aloera (krbk are dating and nobody believes them. Very good)

a godless society by aloera (the one where krbk are disgustingly affectionate and 1-A has had enough. It’s VERY good)

sugar cookies by aloera (krbk get married and they think it’s platonic. It’s REALLY not and it takes all of 1-A exasperatedly repeating it for it to sink in. Hilarious)

can't take my eyes off of you by aloera (Kirishima wears leggins and Bakugo loses his mind It’s very cute Kirishima isn’t as oblivious as he seems ;) )

Doodling the Daydreams Away by loki_dokey (Aizawa catches Bakugo doodling -ehem- things on his essays and well, it’s hilarious)

hero worship by amaranthinecanicular (This is one hell of an amazing fic. there’s no way to describe what it’s about without spoiling. It’s tagged as “creator chose not to use archive warnings”)

Breathe by CitrusVeins (A mission goes wrong and Kirishima proposes to a dying Bakugo, it’s very emotional)

symphony number nine by gummyconcrete (It’s soft. It’s so good and the krbk flavor is just, exquisite.)

my own soul's warning by obiter (future Bakugo barges into the present and Bakugo, who’s rejected Kirishima is jealous of their proximity. PH!Bakugo helps him figure out some shit. It’s very good and I really loved how they wrote Kirishima. It isn’t actually tagged as “creator chose not to use archive warnings” but I think it should be)

The Way We Love i_write_shakespeare_not_disney (This is just, so good. Krbk's interactions are so good and their friendship is just so damn important and they're so in love and so stupid (especially bkg tbh) and it's just. perfect. please, do yourself a favor and read it, it'll inject happiness straight into your veins).

[my-mt-heart]

I have been thinking about this word 'buddy' And I would like to reassure us all that 'buddy', 'pal', 'girl-friend' 'best friend' all these are words that have been recently used to describe the Caryl relationship because their friendship is never going to end. I saw media posts questioning if their friendship is over and the answer is a resounding no! Daryl and Carol's friendship is stronger and with far more impact than any other relationships currently on the show or have been in time past. In order to get Caryl on the road, AK has to keep reminding us of their long relationship as friends so that it means something when we see they choose each other to go with. Daryl and Carol have relationships with other people that have never been labeled once or repeatedly or only implied. But Caryl's friendship constantly comes up because it is still there. The fight? The bracelet and double-capped acorn? The other relationships/bonds they formed with others? It is supposed to emphasize how much Daryl and Carol care deeply about one another and it is rooted in friendship. Not lust. Not loneliness. Not abuse. But Friendship, the simple and best kind. The one that just is. Which means they and the viewers are going to be reminded that they are friends a lot. Please look at it positively. Caryl still has loads of potential to go canon in the spinoff or in season 11.

Amen. 

[dailytomlinson]

When reflecting on music’s most influential artists, critics tend to use statistics to measure their legacy—whether it’s a band reaching #1 on the charts, multiple sold-out tours, or albums that represent a generation. Those types of accolades and praise are for bands that, typically, exist within rock with a predominantly sizeable male fanbase, like The Rolling Stones or The Beatles. For English-Irish boyband One Direction, who actually broke one of The Beatles biggest achievements by having five Top 10 debut tracks on the Hot 100 compared to The Beatles’ four, have sold out multiple tours and delivered five albums five years in a row, they have not been regarded as much of an influential force in the music industry as they should be.

Today—on July 23rd 2020—the band celebrates ten years since they first became a band, even if five years of that time was during a prolonged indefinite hiatus while each of the members pursued solo ventures. A decade marks ten years of One Direction and, for the fans, ten years of an impactful legacy the band, both together and apart, has had on their lives.

After being thrown together on The X-Factor back in July 2010, the band did more in five years than most bands do in their entire careers; they released five albums and sold more than 6.49 million copies in just America alone, filmed one concert documentary and one tour film, completed multiple world tours, and pursued philanthropic ventures. All of those things didn’t come without a price, though. Zayn Malik left the band in 2014 due to his mental health suffering. The band toured consistently every year with hardly ever having any personal time off, and add in an album release a year, they were extremely overworked.

There’s a belief boy bands have an expiry date, and it’s likely their management felt they needed to get as much out of the band while they believed they were still relevant. It’s likely that fans would’ve stuck around if the members took time between their albums and tours. In 2015, when the hiatus began, people wondered if One Direction really could ever come back and, if they did, would fans still really care about them?

“One Direction was one of the biggest and most successful bands,” said @TheHarryNews, a Twitter fan update account. “They achieved amazing things in the five years they were together, despite being overworked by putting out albums and touring every year, which isn’t normal.”

One specific thread that ties together every fans’ thoughts when they reflect on why they decided to become fans of the boys in the first place is the carefree and loving rapport the band has with one another. We’ve all seen The X Factor video diaries, laughed over their banter during interviews, and watched every live performance they did to look out for cute interactions between our favourite members. In their own unique way, One Direction helped defy traits typically associated with toxic masculinity; they didn’t shy away from their affection for one another and made that known in interviews and concerts. Their friendship set them apart, made them more real, and through them, we made friendships of our own.

When someone seeks out new friends, they go to where they feel safest: the communities of people who love the same things as they do. Social media not only propelled the band to international audiences, but it also helped many fans meet the people they now call their lifelong friends. “They have impacted my life in ways I never thought a ‘boyband’ could,” said Lauren, a fan from Buffalo, NY. “They gave me the best friends I could ever ask for, helped me when I was lost and thought I had no one. They ultimately helped me find myself.”

Social media did more than just help us make friends. It was also a major catalyst for the band’s success, and a large part is due to update accounts on Twitter that were created by fans, for fans. Fan-created update accounts would document every single movement and moment made by the band’s five members, whether it was live-streaming a concert or updating fans on the band’s whereabouts. For @With1DNews, a UK/Canada-based update account, it’s a labour of true love for the band that “glued them together” in the first place. “We found each other through our 1D fan accounts on Twitter,” they said. “We started talking about the boys, then our lives, and quickly became great friends.”

Even though they started the account after the hiatus already began, they still felt like fans needed One Direction news. “We had noticed there weren’t really any active 1D update accounts left and we knew a lot of fellow 1D fans were still interested in seeing news about the boys’ careers and lives. It was also because we missed seeing 1D together and hearing about them together. We thought, why not create this space that connects them even if they’re now all going their own way.”

Update accounts take as much time, effort, and energy as an unpaid second job; it requires those who run them to schedule themselves accordingly to cover certain times of each day to ensure their fellow fans get updated in a timely manner, and they do as much fact-checking and researching that any other traditional news outlet does.

Even if some critics might not consider One Direction an influential force in the music industry, the impact they continue to have on their fans is what has set them apart from every other musical act. In a scene in One Direction’s concert documentary, This Is Us, a fan breathlessly states “I know they love me, even if they don’t know me.” This type of parasocial relationship to a band is something not many understand; it’s a sense of intimacy that doesn’t require either party to actually deeply know one another on a personal level but is still as meaningful and significant as actual relationships.

A connection with the band is even more prevalent for Amy, a Los Angeles based writer and mum of two, because of the impact the band has had on her family is something that isn’t tangible but has been detrimental to her children’s development. “I have a child with physical and neurological disabilities who, prior to One Direction, was completely non-verbal and really struggling to find motivation and happiness amongst all the doctors and therapy appointments,” stated Amy. “They have done more for her development, including indirectly teaching her to speak and sing, than any therapy she’s ever done. Up until we found the boys, everything was trial and error; trying to find what makes sense to her and would, in turn, make the world make sense to her. Who knew the key would be a ‘silly’ boy band?”

Many fans have expressed that the band is their happy place – the only positive light in their life when things got tough. For so many, the band came at a time when they desperately needed something to help them through difficult situations whether that be pressure from school, jobs, peers, or life in general. Watching the ‘Best Song Ever’ music video, or a funny interview felt like a cure to smile and laugh after a long day. “They were what we turned to when we felt overwhelmed in our own lives. Now, we’re adults, and they still bring us as much happiness as they did when we were younger,” says @With1DNews.

Not only that, but the band has also helped fans gain more confidence in themselves. By helping create a space and community for them, fans who may have felt lonely, different, or struggled to find a place they belonged had somewhere to go now. They made friends who accepted them, endless content that felt like a burst of serotonin, and a band of boys who told them through lyrics how great and valuable they are, songs like ‘Through the Dark’, ‘Diana’, and ‘Little Things’. Through the band, One Direction fans created their own safe space to work out and navigate their own identity; a space that is free from outside shame where they could be whoever they wanted to be because the people they loved the most accepted them for exactly who they are.

Despite the safety found in those spaces, others have given those fans different descriptions: Hysterical. Rabid. Extra. ‘Screamers.’ Those are just a few of the many words that have been used to describe female fans of boy bands, both past and present. Although these words carry negative connotations, they imply something more powerful than any naysayer could understand or try to define: the sheer force that comes with unashamedly loving something so deeply, you don’t really care about anyone else’s opinions.

Young female fans are the most supportive, passionate fanbase an artist can have, yet they are the most trivialized and ridiculed both within and outside of the music industry. At the start of their career, music’s most beloved band The Beatles was a boy band that catapulted into fame because of, not despite, their female fans. It wasn’t until male fans noticed the band’s progression into an experimental sound when they decided to embrace the band and deem them worthy of their support after they began playing ‘real’ music.

Even if there are major similarities between The Beatles and One Direction, the latter is still regarded by many to be a manufactured pop boy band with a ‘teenybopper’ fanbase. The members of the band have consistently embraced and validated their predominantly female fanbase; Harry Styles has been consistently vocal about this matter, going so far as to say “Teenage-girl fans — they don’t lie. If they like you, they’re there. They don’t act ‘too cool.’ They like you, and they tell you.”

In ‘Girl Almighty’, the fifth track on their fourth album, Four, the band addressed the way their fans have been misjudged and labelled ‘crazy’ because of their passion and not only applauded them for their dedication and love, but bowed down to them as well; “Let’s have another toast to the girl almighty […] I get down on my knees for you.” Not only has One Direction always known who helped them get to where they are today, but they’ve also never shied away from declaring their respect for them, constantly validating their fans’ feelings.

For One Direction’s fans, a decade of the band’s formation represents ten years of a legacy that will continue on, even if the band never formally get back together. For Amy, it doesn’t really matter if they got their start on a TV talent show because it’s the fans that made them and set the band apart from every other boyband. “What we all created together feels so untouchable in regards to boy bands of the past and ones to come. I think people will look back in awe and see what we see; we’ve been so incredibly lucky to have witnessed the magic of One Direction.”

They might not be aware of it, but One Direction was incredible at predicting what was to come in their own music; “Who’s gonna be the first to say goodbye?” / “But it’s not the end, I’ll see your face again” / “We had some good times, didn’t we? We wore our hearts out on our sleeve” / “We could be the greatest team that the world has ever seen.” In ‘Best Song Ever’, a song that ordinary listeners would not exactly consider overly sentimental or profound, there is one lyric that will always stand out for the fans to represent One Direction’s legacy perfectly: “I hope you’ll remember how we danced.” Ten years later, we haven’t forgotten.

[reversecreek]

pops hip n winks at the dash. haaaaiiii. me again. i’ve honestly missed playing lana fr a while she’s one of. my most treasured muses bc she’s jst a silly n vivacious ball of sunshine or alternatively? a train wreck depending on which way u turn her in the light..... i actually hv two playlists made fr her n one is rly old bt it’s more like. songs that Remind me of her which u can find here n then here is more like. stuff u’ll most often catch her blasting on her record player as she dances around in her underwear w the curtains open. OH and here is her pinterest 🍓⚡

* kristine froseth, cis female + she/her  | you know lana jameson, right? they’re twenty-three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, a few hours? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to play that funky music by wild cherry like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole cherry red gym socks worn with nothing else, doodling penises in the condensation of a stranger’s car window, a bumper sticker on the back of a convertible cadillac that says ‘scrappy doo is a filthy slut’ thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is june 2nd, so they’re a gemini, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt, she/her  )

HISTORY:

lana grew up in a big house in albany, NY. i picture it w dark oak floors n lots of light furniture. albums framed on walls. mayb some rolling stone covers too frm way bk when of the bands her dad’s label signed. kind of like… a rock star palace w no evidence of children at all. i think i described it best in one of lana’s self paras once when i said the garden ws “as big as it was unloved”

lana’s mum victoria (vic) ws a music journalist w a pretty fruitful career ahead of her when she met lana’s dad richard (rich). his record label ws jst starting out, founded on the coattails of his wealthy best friend’s (jensen peters) investment w his other best friend (who he jst calls knoxville). it rocketed to success when they signed poppy injects, a rock band w an electric stage presence, n vic ws drawn to the glitz n glamour of a man tht ws at the helm of his aspiring industry. their love ws very impulsive, all or nothing right frm the start, n it ws almost like she ws mre in love w his accomplishments n what he represented than him.

(DRUGS TW) anyway so jameson records repped a few rock bands bk in the eighties, altho poppy injects r who they’re mostly known fr, namely bc of hw brightly they crashed n burned. they were a big chart success bt the lead singer hd quite an intense struggle w heroin (wsnt rly subtle abt it either while he ws in the public eye as u cn probably imagine frm such an on-the-nose band name) n he ws always in n out of the papers. it eventually brought down his career n it ws a big publicity nightmare

lana pretty much… grew up around figures like this throughout childhood. real characters who wld kind of… b extremely volatile n destructive abt their troubles. the jameson house was an open one as welcoming clients went n a lot of parties took place there. a lot of the time musicians wld b snorting lines in the kitchen when she wnted to grab a bowl of cereal fr breakfast n it was just. a very strange environment fr a child to grow up in. more zoo than home. more shaken snow globe than resting place. (END OF TW)

(ABORTION REFERENCE) her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her much. her older brother caleb ws unplanned bt they sort of welcomed the surprise more bt… quickly realised they weren’t cut out fr parenthood n then when lana came as another surprise 3 yrs later they didn’t even try to hide their resentment abt the situation. her mum ws actually booked in to have an abortion bt cldnt go through with it at the last minute. once when lana ws a kid she asked her why she’s so cold towards her she jst turned her head frm her dresser, looked at her, told her abt this n said “idk why i didn’t go”. lana didn’t kno wht to say to tht so she jst left her room n closed the door (END OF REFERENCE)

(DISSOCIATION TW) bc of the intensity of her parents ignoring her growing up lana adopted this sense of like…. she didn’t rly kno what it ws bt it ws a delusion of sorts where she thought she ws a ghost bc she gt this strange outside feeling. she’d jst sort of… drift around the halls w no-one acknowledging her n sometimes she ws jst convinced she wsnt actually there or they cldnt see her n she ws jst haunting the house frm a previous family. (END OF TW) her imagination festered an explanation out of smthn she didn’t understand essentially. lana used her imagination to do this a lot growing up. it ws kind of like the band aid she slapped over everything. after all she wasn’t alone if she was sword fighting imaginary pirates dwn the hallway with a poker from the fireplace. 

the one saving grace tho tht sort of?? gt her thru this n made her feel Seen ws caleb. lana quite genuinely hs always thought the sun shines out of her older brothers ass like she jst thinks. he’s the best person in the entire world. wld b rly bewildered if anyone questioned tht. he wld always look out for her n cut the crusts off her sandwiches (he’d cook fr them most of the time bc their parents were too busy/didn’t care to) n sometimes wld even sleep at the bottom of her bed curled up like a guard dog. it ws always lana n caleb n his best friend tommy against the world in tht house (tommy lived next door bt was always over bc he had very strict parents tht he found suffocating)

(ARMY MENTION) SO when tommy announced tht he’d signed up to the army (bc of pressures from tommy’s military dad to fulfil some kind of stupid “legacy” tommy didn’t even care abt) n caleb said he was going with him lana ws understandably…….. completely blindsided. she ws rly upset tht they were leaving n was kind of like “wtf why are u doing this like what do u even think this is gna solve” etc n begged caleb not to leave her there on her own n jst to not sign up in general bc tommy had to bt he didn’t listen. 

ERM i won’t go into it but it didn’t turn out well as u can probably imagine bc the army is a terrible industry n caleb had to return home without tommy. he wasn’t the same after that. (END OF MENTION)

what’d been a rly close relationship before where he ws basically like a surrogate father figure to lana was Not there any more. he ws rly withdrawn n always pushing her away n snapping at her for the sake of getting her to leave him alone. on top of this lana had a lot of shit go down while he was away n rly just shouldn’t have been a kid alone in tht house. regardless lana thought if she kept grinning as wide as she cld she’d convince caleb to join in too. maybe if she seemed fine n happy he’d take the lead. maybe she’d believe it too n start to feel it n everything could go bk to how it was before her world became so different. lana liked the way the sky flipped when she tipped her head back on the swings bt this was different. everything was upside down bt this didn’t make her belly feel like she’d swallowed a butterfly and it wasn’t funny bt still, she kept laughing. always desperate to find something to laugh at n if she couldn’t find it she invented it. as long as ur laughing the world can’t b that bad.

she ws always well liked in school bc she jst tended to treat everyone like they were bffs no matter who like u cld have literally bumped shoulders w her once in the corridor n she’d be like OMG HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII let’s kiss<3 n like she ws a huge notorious flirt w any n all as well as incredibly impulsive n jst. wild honestly to put it simply too bt things like. changed a bit frm 16 onwards. (HYPERSEXUALITY & IMPLIED TRAUMA TW) she jst became far more reckless honestly n like....... jst didn’t rly seem to care after a certain point abt herself too much.... got herself in a bunch of bad situations.......... kind of jst flung herself to the wolves numerous times without any caution abt the way they’d bite. formed a lot of self destructive habits one of which ws cruising craigslist personals fr random hook-ups n like. she literally cld have wound up in a ditch somewhere honestly it’s a shock she hasn’t. despite various dips n inclines in her journey navigating this side of her it’s very much still present in her life to this day n she struggles to kno hw to control herself at points. sometimes she feels like a melting candle tht needs moulding by thumbs until it can form a person again. sometimes she’s only sure she’s real when she’s being touched. (END OF TW)

ANYWAY. laughs nervously. went to college to study dance bc she’s always loved dance in general bt specifically ballet (despite definitely not hving the discipline for it) n honestly this was both good n bad fr her. had a whole string of terrible heartbreaking relationships bc she tends to fall into those hard n fast n they were w a lot of bad people fr like 98% of the time. she kind of learned more abt what love is during her time there tho which is a gd thing bt she still isn’t very good at knowing hw to believe she deserves it so it’s a process. she hd fun tho. threw 498572598475 outrageous n elaborately themed parties. ws friends w pretty much everyone on campus. 

despite a strained relationship w her brother n having to go home to visit n check on him whenever he got rly bad it ws the first time it actually felt like she’d found a home in a lot of rly loving n genuine friendships n lana will never forget hw much that experience meant to her even if she definitely struggled there too. college felt like a place she belonged n then suddenly she couldn’t belong there any more n there was a big sense of floundering in that. like where do u go now when u’ve never known home elsewhere? how do u happily go out into the world if it means leaving ur world behind?

she applied to a dance company in LA n fell in w a pretentious art scene there full of wannabe andy warhols n the like. became a makeshift edie sedgwick to some guy w dyed white hair n the idea his every concept was revolutionary when rly he jst shot her dancing barely clothed splashing around in a random fountain in his friend’s mansion on an ancient film camera. she’d spend her days floating around on lilo’s and prancing in feather boas and racing with glitter leftover frm last night in her leotard w smudges of faint red lipstick to barely make her job on time. always a sexy train wreck bt this time? make it hollywood. 

(IMPLIED ALCOHOLISM TW) i won’t lie to u lana hs always partied way too hard bt then partying way too hard turned into slurping merlot thru a crazy straw shaped like a flamingo at 4 in the afternoon wearing penis novelty sunglasses n it wasn’t quite so much of a party when u were doing it on ur own. this rly snowballed into place in college bt carried on n wound up getting her fired from the dance company bc she turned up to rehearsals drunk one too many times n they didn’t allow fr sloppiness like tht. it was a “professional operation” that didn’t “accept that kind of behaviour” bt lana was jst like ummmmmmmmm that’s totally dramatic btw way to spank me in the town square like i’m gale w a raw ass n back in the hunger games bt ok sure i’m out ig. BOOP! (literally booped the director on the nose before leaving) (END OF TW)

honestly hd no idea what to do w herself after her job fell thru in LA n was pretty embarrassed actually upon sobering up the nxt day. cldn’t bring herself to tell her friends for a hot minute bc she felt like a failure or smthn n she was meant to be living this glamorous life out there being the classic wild n silly n fun Lana Jameson. cldn’t figure out how to repackage it into a funny story tht wouldn’t worry ppl. eventually wound up jst caving n telling her closest besties (shoutout freya n rosa) bc she ws hving a weird time dating losers n randomly living in LA even tho she didn’t kno why she was there any more after losing the job n they were jst like. fk it then. jst come here. we’re in irving. and so? mizz jameson packed her bags....

PERSONALITY:

always smells vaguely of wild cherries or strawberry starburst or jst the candy aisle in general. if she ws a vinyl record she’d b this one n she’d only play good vibrations by the beach boys, dancing on my own by robyn, play that funky music by wild cherry, femme fatale by the velvet underground n (i can’t get no) satisfaction by the rolling stones

the jameson family r pretty well off n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. mostly kids of celebrities n stuff like tht. she amassed a bit of an instagram following #nepotism bt also fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects. lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst…. a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, bright red cowboy boots, pink fishnet tights, holographic stickers of planets on her cheek n glitter used like highlight, 90% of the time a red lip) n bc she’s not gna make ur eyes bleed to look at or anything let’s b real

growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. knew everyone n everyone knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once.

deliberately puts on tht kind of Magnetic Alluring Act tht femme fatales wear in movies w most ppl. kind of…. is always playing A Role of the person tht she wants to b seen as. hates being sad n always wnts to be happy / making ppl happy. chameleons to situations. feels like she’s performed as the vivacious n fun loving Lana Jameson fr so long tht she doesn’t rly kno who she is beneath tht bt she isn’t too keen to find out. sometimes gets glimpses n feels the urge to close her eyes.

she’s always been rly spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand ridiculously absurd n chaotic stories. she’s like oh ya this one time this guy made me ride him with a daddy saddle like i was woody and he was bullseye. he literally made me call him bullseye. or she’s like. oh ya once i had to run barefoot thru a cabbage patch bc this one farmer wanted to have a threeway w me n my friend tht we met off craigslist n every framed photo in his house was a pig dressed up in cosplay bt honestly they were kind of cute n he was sexy aside frm the murderous vibes n the fact he kept calling me babe which i’m pretty sure means he wanted to dress me up next bt like whatever honestly.... she tells jst the most batshit stuff n the person she’s telling it to is left blinking like. wtf.

uncontrollably flirty. insanely confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n will try. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine.

likes to roller skate n hs a red pair she’ll glide around in at night lit up by amber street lamps breath sticky w the taste of wine n lollipops probably heading to a random hookups. who needs ubers?

always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. honestly likes dangling her whole body halfway out too. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s sour haribo cherries or strawberry lollipops.

luvs bowie (ONLY aesthetically) n prince (wholeheartedly) n madonna (completely) n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think.

daisies n poppies r her fav flowers bc daisies r wild n overlooked n poppies r the first thing u look at in a green field. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. honestly it’s like a burning train wreck but u can’t quite tear ur eyes away. often the heart of many sordid gossip scandals.

PLOTS:

TBA bc she’s only jst arrived in town i won’t lie to u all but i’m gna whip things up on here anyway n link in chat w updates at some point........ that said? lana is insatiable n it isn’t rly unlikely tht she cld’ve bumped into ur muse in a grocery store aisle n somehow a wild spontaneous adventure spawned frm that alone.......... if u have any immediate ideas we can discuss 😋

[princessmuk]

Things I want to see more of:

• Guys who have interests and personalities that don’t match up with traditional masculinity who are straight

• LGBTQIA+ rep that doesn’t fit into stereotypes

• LGBTQIA+ rep that is treated just as naturally as a straight person/relationship would be

• Male friendships that are strong and emotional and healthy, and stay as friendships

• Male friendships between an LGBTQIA+ male and a straight male that are strong and emotional and healthy, and don’t involve one-sided romance

• Ace and Aro representation, together and separately

• Bisexuals who would never even think of cheating on their S.O.

• Disabled characters whose storylines don’t revolve around their disability

• Lesbian representation that isn’t all about sex

• wlw representation in teenagers

• Healthy poly relationships that don’t involve a breakup storyline

• Romance novels and movies from the guy’s perspective that are healthy and not creepy or sexist

• Non-binary characters existing in peace

• Trans characters played by trans actors

• Bisexual/lesbian relationships

• Ace relationships where the Ace person never has sex and the other person is okay with that

• Ace relationships where the Ace person, of their own accord and because they want to, have sex with their partner

• Introverts who are still introverted at the end of the story

• Aro rep that stays Aro

• Ace rep that stays Ace

• Teenagers playing teenagers in movies and TV

• Women who have personalities and develop, no matter what stereotypes they may play into

• Girls who are feminine and who happen to fit into society’s view being potrayed as smart and kind (or even as mean or strong or blunt or anything, literally any personality trait) instead of being the popular girl who follows every trend because she has no identity

• Girls who like pink but it doesn’t define their personality

• Straight guys who like pink

• LGBTQIA+ allies who wear pride merch

• LGBTQIA+ allies who don’t really care if people think they’re gay

• Fashionable boys

• Girls who don’t wear makeup and don’t feel the need to

• Girls who don’t wear makeup even though there’s pressure for them to

• Girls who are insecure about their looks but realize their looks don’t define them

• Girls with body hair

• Interracial relationships with no drama centering around it being interracial

• Interracial LGBTQIA+ relationships

• Characters with Tourette’s who don’t swear all the time (or maybe even ever)

• Characters with a neurological disorder that don’t get diagnosed for a while because their symptoms aren’t as noticeable

• Characters with a neurological disorder that was never officially diagnosed

• Autistic characters who are fleshed out and don’t fit into stereotypes

• Autistic characters who fall in love

• Deaf characters who only use sign language and can’t lip read well

• Mute characters

• Parent/child relationships that are healthy and full of love

• POC in roles that combat their stereotypes

• Characters who speak many languages

• POC in the fantasy genre

• Historical dramas featuring LGBTQIA+, POC, disabled, mentally ill, etc. characters

• Realistic sibling dynamics

• Realistic portrayal of teenage relationships (I.e. not sexualized but also not acting like high schoolers only ever hold hands or smth)

• Potrayals of emotionally abusive relationships that seem okay at first

• Men being abused by their female partners and it being taken seriously

• Characters from the South who are liberal

• Characters from Appalachia who are intelligent and rich with personality, yet still have their accent and way of life

• Female spies and assassins who get what they want without seducing men

• (But also: Female spies and assassins who seduce women instead)

• Media where the main cast is all POC

• Middle Eastern representation that doesn’t fit into stereotypes or imply they are evil or terrorists

• Muslim characters who aren’t potrayed as evil

• Muslim girls who wear hijabs in media

• Media where the white guy is the villain

• Indian characters who don’t fit into stereotypes

• Characters from West Asia

• Black female characters who don’t play into stereotypes

• Black male characters who wouldn’t hurt a fly

• Black characters as doctors, lawyers, politicians, mayors, presidents, royalty, etc.

• Vegitarian/vegan characters who aren’t potrayed as annoying and who respect the lifestyles of others

• Villains who have tragic backstories, but are held accountable for their actions

• Stories without a villain

• Nerd girl x hot popular dude but they both have personalities that go beyond their stereotypes and the nerd girl never gets a transformation scene

• Nerd/jock dynamics, platonic and romantic, straight and gay

• Conventially attractive guy with a personality x girl who isn’t conventially attractive and also has a personality

• Characters getting called out on their privilege and realizing their mistakes

• Women who save their S.O.

• Giggles during confessions and kisses

• Men who confess in cheesy, awkward ways

• Men who confess to a woman and are rejected, but move on and stay friends with the woman

• LGBTQIA+ characters who confess to someone also LGBTQIA+ and are rejected, then move on and stay friends with that person AND have an actual relationship with someone else later

• Women who confess to men, ask them out, take the lead in the relationship

• Characters not forgiving someone who hurt them, even if they have become a better person, because they are still hurting

• Characters in abusive relationships who break up — later they meet up again and the abusive one has changed into a better person, but they don’t get back together

• Relationships (platonic or romantic) in which both characters treat each other badly and both are called out for it

• Characters with last trauma getting better but still having their trauma affect them in small ways

• Characters with PTSD being potrayed accurately

• Sociopaths and psychopaths being potrayed accurately and not as killers

• Characters with learning disabilities who are still intelligent

• Characters who are intelligent but have a hard time expressing it

• Characters with ADHD who still have personality and are potrayed accurately and are fleshed out

• Characters with OCD who potray lesser-known parts of OCD

• Characters who have triggers (not just triggers like guns or smth either, like a certain smell or the taste of a certain kind of bread or green socks or smth set them off)

• Characters who smoke but quit

• Characters who turn to drugs but find healthier ways to cope

• Poor characters spending money on themselves once in a while

• Depressed characters who are less creative when they’re more depressed or off meds

• Characters with anxiety who stay anxious but still overcome their fears

• Characters who take medicine and pills taking them and getting better

• Doctors who ignore problems being called out

• Characters being on their periods and it not being treated as a joke

• Characters who get injured and face a long path of recovery, but it isn’t the main storyline

• Characters with scars still being seen as beautiful, and not just to their love interest

• Aro characters who aren’t completely disgusted by love

• Characters who don’t want children but still are kind to them

• Couples getting married and never having children

• Adoption being normalized in media

• Characters who fit into more than one box (e.g. she’s a musical lover who also draws, and loves math, or he plays basketball but wants to be a politician)

• Nerdy men who don’t get the girl and are okay with it

• Nerdy men who respect women

• Nerdy women who are beautiful

• Nerd characters who don’t gatekeep when another character mentions they like the thing they’re nerdy about

• Male/male presenting characters who wear makeup

• Male/male presenting characters who wear makeup and are straight

• Characters being investigated by police who are innocent but still use their rights (don’t let the police search their house, don’t talk during the interrogation w/o a lawyer present, etc.)

• A man and a woman who dislike/hate each other still not liking each other by the end of the story (or, they’re friends in the end but not in love)

• Exes who are still friends and don’t get back together

• Exes who live together and don’t get back together

• A group of friends living together

• Characters who eagerly learn about a new culture and respectfully join in on an activity

• Single characters who stay single

• Characters who question their sexuality

• Characters who don’t use labels and just do what they want to do

• Twink/twink dynamics but they’re still both developed, multi-faceted characters

• Bear/bear dynamics but they’re still both developed, multi-faceted characters

• Twink/bear dynamics but they’re still both developed, multi-faceted characters and neither of them are referred to or act like the “male or female of the relationship”

• Butch/butch dynamics but they’re still both developed, multi-faceted characters

• Femme/femme but they’re still both developed, multi-faceted characters

• Femme/butch dynamics but they’re still both developed, multi-faceted characters and neither of them are referred to or act like the “male or female of the relationship”

• Love triangles that end in polyamory

• Love triangles that end in gay

• Love triangles that end in no couples at all

• Pedophilia being called out and punished

• A storyline that features grooming and punishes it

• LGBTQIA+ POC characters

• Medical dramas that are medically accurate and aren’t all about sex

• Characters will moles on their faces not being described as ugly

• Characters with big noses not being described as ugly

• Characters or different religions who practice their religion and celebrate their holidays in the story

• Stories about indigenous people

• Characters who aren’t conventionally attractive who aren’t defined by that and are still respected and loved

• Characters with tattoos that are just normal people and not part of a gang or smth

• Characters who change an opinion that has long defined them because of something they see, experience, or realize

• Teenage characters who don’t have much free time

• Teenage characters who have to ask permission before they go out and do things

• Black characters with natural hair

• Characters with dyed hair that are still very professional

• Stories that pass the Bechdel test

• LGBTQIA+ couples with kids, adopted or conceived with their genes or bodies

• Trans Female/Trans Male relationships

• Gay men and lesbian women in relationships with trans males and trans females respectively

• Stories that take place in modern day Africa, South America, Central America...

• Characters who are strong but not in skinny yet muscular way

• Overweight characters who are healthy that love their bodies

• Overweight characters who love their bodies but aren’t healthy and who try to treat their bodies better

• Overweight characters that love their bodies, period.

• Skinny characters who aren’t healthy and try to treat their bodies better

• Characters with realistically proportioned bodies

• Characters with freckles

• Female veteran characters

• Characters who are ignorant to their privilege and learn better

• Characters who are ignorant to their privilege despite trying not to be that learn better

• Christian characters who aren’t racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, etc.

• Feminist characters who are men

• Female feminist characters who still fit into many traditional roles

• Female feminist characters who are empowered in other ways than sexually

• Men who are called out on objectifying women and change their behavior (and, if called out by a woman, who don’t get with the woman that called them out!)

• Characters with brown eyes having their eyes complimented and spoken poetically about

• Realistic female armor

• Elderly characters learning from young characters

• Romance for elderly and past middle aged characters

• Stories about older characters that aren’t about sickness or crazy mid-life crises

• Couples with children who divorce but stay friends and raise the children

• Divorce storylines that aren’t 100% angst and have a happy ending other than the parents getting back together

• Male characters who cry and aren’t viewed as less of a man for it

• Male characters who express their emotions healthily

• Characters who learn to express their emotions healthily

• Female characters who are strong and empowered yet still cry and have emotions

• Child characters that act like actual children

• High school dramas with actual high school drama

• Superhero movies and comics with female leads

• Groups of friends with a 50/50 f/m ratio

• Guy characters who are friends with lots of girls and see them as sisters

• Girl characters who are friends with lots of guys and see them as brothers

• Sisters protecting brothers

• Wives/girlfriends protecting husbands/boyfriends

• Femme characters protecting butch characters

• Twink characters protecting bear characters

• Traditonally feminine characters (female or male) who are still strong and can kick ass

• Feminine female/female presenting characters who don’t shave

• Male/male presenting characters in skirts and dresses

That’s all I can think of off the top of my head... definitely didn’t get everything or include everyone, so please add on if you think of more!!

And please, if I said anything problematic by accident, tell me!! Anything I said I wanted to see more of that featured a group I’m not a part of was based off things I’ve seen and heard people in those groups discuss. If I said anything that played into negative stereotypes or just doesn’t sound right, please do tell me. The point of this post is to be positive and fresh, not to say anything discriminatory or offensive. If I said anything that wasn’t my place to say, also please tell me. Anything problematic will be removed from the post.

If there’s anything you want me to explain why I want it, feel free to ask ^^

Edit: changed “ftm” and “mtf” to “trans males” and “trans females”.

[angelofthequeers]

hi, i was making an aroace sapphic character and wondered if you could give me any tips? :)

I can sure try! If anyone is uncomfortable with semi-explicit talk about sex (in terms of smutty writing and vague personal anecdotes) then feel free to skip over the asexuality part. I’m mostly going to talk about my own experiences as an aroace sapphic to try and offer more depth than just generic character advice. And this is my experience; not every aroace is the same. I’ll also refer to your character with she/her pronouns but they might not be the ones that she uses, so I apologise in advance if that’s the case.

So this is assuming that she’s fully aroace instead of, like, somewhere else on the aro and ace spectra (such as demisexual or greyromantic). I direct you to look up oriented, angled, and electio aroace to get a better idea of ways in which this entire package of aro, ace, and sapphic might come together - you don’t have to use or adhere to these labels but they do provide handy information in case you want a better understanding for your character. Basically:

Asexual

I don’t experience sexual attraction (or if I do and I’m demi like I first thought, I sure as hell haven’t noticed it yet). I never look at someone and think “hmm, they’re so physically hot and I want to smash them specifically”. A lot of my smutty writing was heavily influenced by other people’s smut at the start because, like...I didn’t know what was supposed to be hot. I didn’t inherently know what to describe when writing sex scenes. I had to rely a lot on other people and put together what they found “hot” in terms of physical descriptions of bodies because I don’t feel that kind of draw to people. Back when I was into Supernatural, everyone always went nuts over Misha Collins’ hipbones and I was like...yeah, they’re nice aesthetically because they stick out and they’d probably be sharp and cool to touch, and I incorporated that into my writing by often focusing on Castiel’s hipbones from Dean’s perspective. But I truly didn’t understand why they were considered so attractive. I wasn’t physically drawn to any part of Misha or Castiel (apart from things like his hair and eyes, and even then it wasn’t a sexual draw) and I had to absorb what parts allosexual writers found hot and then translate that into my own writing. I claimed to have a crush on Brendon Urie when I was 16 purely so I wouldn’t look like a “freak” to the other girls in my year, and I made that claim based on my aesthetic draw to his looks and assuming that that was what sexual attraction had to be.

(Look up aesthetic attraction. It’ll blow your mind once you realise that you can be drawn to people without it being sexual in any way. This is a very good definition of it).

And it’s important to separate libido (sex drive) and attraction (the draw to specific people) because a lot of aces can have an average to high libido and even sleep with people but just...not feel sexually drawn to anyone. So in the case of your character, you have to decide whether she’s going to have no libido and/or is squicked by the concept of sex, or if she’s got a higher libido and is drawn to the concept of sex, or anything in between. Me personally? My libido and my draw to the concept of sex fluctuates - sometimes it’s as high as what you’d expect from a typical allosexual, sometimes even the vague idea makes me cringe and my engine is flat - but I’m never attracted to anyone specifically. That lack of attraction is what makes me ace, because you can also get allosexual people (non-asexuals) whose libido and relationship with sex is like this.

There’s that misconception that ace people are pure virgins who cringe at the very idea of being touched and sure, some ace people are sex-repulsed and touch-averse, but a lot of us aren’t. Some of us might enjoy sex as a bonding activity in the same way that you’d enjoy yoga or another form of exercise; it’s nice and feels good, but it’s not exactly our highest priority and we could go without it for a good while if we wanted. Some of us actively enjoy sex and initiate it often. Some of us are okay with one-night stands because we’re not attracted to anyone specifically and just want the sex. Some of us don’t want to do it with someone else but enjoy some self-love every now and then, whether as stress relief or because that’s just the kind of sex we enjoy. Some of us are okay with touching someone sexually but don’t want that touch reciprocated.

Even if you’re not planning on putting your character into a sexual situation, it’s handy to figure out her relationship to sex and touch because that can give her another dimension, such as where does she draw the line with touching? At what point does she see it as going from non-sexual to sexual? What kind of touch does she crave? Does she not want any touch at all, either because she hates it or because she’s afraid that it’ll inevitably stray into sexual touching? I crave touch because I’m a very tactile person, but when I’m touching someone who’s not a family member, I’m always uncomfortably aware of how one tiny shift in position or one slide of a hand can make things stray out of my comfort zone and send the wrong message. And I hate it when people unexpectedly draw me into contact, such as someone suddenly hugging me. That could also be a dimension of my autism, but I do feel that my asexuality plays a part because touch from a family member of mine is always different to that of anyone else.

Aromantic

And then we come to romantic attraction. I...don’t know what that is. I mean, I do know what it is in theory, but where’s the line between platonic attraction and romantic? Some of us aros might enjoy romantic-coded things like kissing, yet not feel that romantic draw to a specific person. And what makes these things romantic in the first place? Dates are just a hang-out between people where you get to know them better. Kissing can be a sexual thing, and many one-night stands or friends with benefits kiss without it being romantic. Family members cuddle. Friends compliment each other’s appearances. All of these things can potentially be reshaped to remove the romantic element, and that’s what makes it so confusing for me personally to figure out wtf romantic attraction is.

Just like with asexuality, we can range from romance-repulsed to craving a relationship that’s romantic in nature. Some of us are okay with being in a romantic relationship with a friend who’s attracted to us in that way because we want increased intimacy and don’t mind it taking on a romantic tone. Some of us freak out when a friend confesses to us. Some of us don’t really want or don’t care for a romantic relationship but want to not look like an outsider to alloromantics. Some of us do it for the tax benefits.

(But in all seriousness, the world is currently heavily skewed in favour of romance. Some places only accept your next-of-kin if they’re legally family i.e. your spouse, and just being their good friend won’t cut it. Capitalism makes it so that we basically have to live with others to survive in certain places because living alone is inaccessible. Marriage comes with certain benefits that other relationships don’t. Queerplatonic relationships can be just as deep as romantic ones and incorporate everything that romantic ones do yet in a deromanticised way, yet they’re not seen as valid. Look up alterous attraction to see how love and attraction can be so deep and yet something that doesn’t slot neatly into romantic or platonic. Once you start seeing all this, you just can’t stop).

I had a month-long online relationship with a girl back in 2017 and I thought I was feeling romantic attraction. I was giddy to talk to her, I had 7-hour phone calls when I normally had anxiety around phone calls, I felt good and happy when she sent me selfies...but there was something about the relationship that I couldn’t put my finger on. I thought at the time that it was just because it being online meant that I didn’t have the physical intimacy (like cuddling) and that affected it, but now I realise that I’m aro and I was trying to force myself into this idea of an ideal relationship because I didn’t know that you could be close and not be romantic partners. I still talk to her and we’re still close, but there’s so much less pressure and panic now that I’m not trying to force myself to be attracted to her in a way that I think I should be. But I’m still drawn to her in a way that I’m not drawn to men and in a way that’s not just platonic, which is why I call myself sapphic aroace. And even if I figure out whether I am drawn to men as well, it still feels...different. More on that later on in this ask. But it’s basically why I just call myself queer and why I’ve given up on trying to find the Perfect Microlabel for myself, because I never will.

So regarding your character, the first thing to do is figure out where exactly she sits on the aromantic spectrum. Is she fully aro? Does she feel romantic attraction once in a blue moon, and who does she feel it towards? How close would she have to be to someone to feel that attraction? Does she constantly question what romantic attraction is, or does she not even care what it is? Does she want a romantic relationship, or does she crave close friendship? Does she not understand where that boundary between close friendship and romance is? How would she react if a friend confessed romantic feelings to her? Is she okay with doing things like cuddling, or does she fear that it’ll be misread as romantic? How does she react when people tell her to stop flirting or otherwise imply that she is? Can she tell when others are flirting with her? What even is love at first sight? Why is romantic love so much more important than platonic or familial or any other form? Why are people so obsessed with finding The One™? Why can stories only be relatable/attractive/amazing/etc. if there’s a romantic relationship in them? Why are the ‘greatest love stories of all time’ romantic? Why can’t those greatest love stories be between friends? What do you do when you’ve got a wlw or mlm relationship and you want to offer this representation but don’t want to feel pressured to make them romantic just because of that? Why even is love itself seen as such an important thing, like we’re inhuman robots if we don’t love someone in any way? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

(Like I said, once you start questioning this stuff, you can’t stop. That was basically my raw thought process while I was writing that paragraph, and that last one about the wlw/mlm relationships is my current struggle with my original characters).

Sapphic

So, tying in a sapphic draw with being aroace, I once again urge you to look up oriented aroaces, along with angled and electio. I recommend starting here and here. Basically, what we feel isn’t romantic or sexual, and it might not be just platonic, but it’s something. It’s something important enough that we feel like it’s a key part of our identity because it shapes how we interact with people and it might make us feel separate enough from aroaces or aspec people that we start to question ourselves and where we belong. Going back to an aro who might crave or be okay with a romantic relationship or an ace who might be into sex, they might be an oriented aroace who wants this partnership with someone they love or wants sexual experiences with only those who would fall under her sapphic attraction umbrella. In the case of your character, how does her sapphicness interact with her aroaceness? How does her attraction to women or woman-aligned people differ from her attraction to those who aren’t included in the sapphic umbrella? (Look up non-binary sapphics, for example). Does she feel like she has to call herself sapphic/a romantic-oriented term and leave herself open to potential relationships because she doesn’t want to be alone, or does she genuinely feel that attraction? Once you add in the aroace dimensions, it changes the gay/bi/pan/etc. dimension to something that can’t just be defined as “attracted to this gender” and it’s something you have to think about to know how your character would interact with different people in different circumstances.

Good luck with your character! Don’t hesitate to ask if you need any more help 😊

[x0401x]

Why do you think the writers of the Tsurune anime decided to tone down masamina and outright cut out kaisei while pushing for sei/mina instead? It's just so baffling to me why they would alter the canon content from the novels so much. Like, what was even the point?

I’ve answered this question quite a few times before, but I’m not sure if I’ve ever made the point entirely clear, so here we go one last time. Sorry that it turned out so long.

So, in novels and manga or any written medium, creators normally have more freedom to do what they want, but when it comes to TV series, animators have been developing the habit of toning down whatever they can. Most of them have this conviction that the viewers only want to watch calm and relaxing stuff nowadays. Other than this, we get adaptations of popular works that basically exist to promote the source material, most of which rush up towards the end like crazy. It does seem like the Japanese audience has an obsession with comfort animes now, since life in Japan gets more and more stressful with each passing year, but it’s not like they’ve abandoned other genres. This general belief that creators should water down the contents however they can is pretty much destroying the industry, and it’s probably what the animators of Tsurune had in mind when changing the novel’s events into a much less dramatic versions or just cutting them off. That’s issue number 1 with the anime.

Issue number 2 is that animators of adaptations tend to ignore the reader demographic in favor of making the series neutral to please all audiences lately. But that’s only when the majority of the readers are women and girls. If it’s guys, you’d rarely see alterations. It feels like the general conception is that making the contents less “cringy” for men means more people will be watching it and having a positive opinion. It seems to completely slip the staff’s minds that the fans they disappoint mostly won’t feel willing to buy the DVDs or merchandise. This is where most of these adaptations fall flat, by the way. It’s kind of really obvious to me that these series are more prone to succeeding if the studios animate what the readers fell in love with, because the originals are popular for a reason, and it’s that people liked them the way they were. I think it’s only the expected when readers are disappointed not to see animes live up to the expectations, and that whoever picks the source material will feel the difference as well. Still, if the anime isn’t a BL, there’s this unsaid rule that you can’t show too much gay between male characters unless you have an excuse for it. Normally, nakama power and rivalry is what does the trick. I don’t think I need to mention that this is the standard in sports animes.

In the Tsurune novel, most of the gay doesn’t have an excuse. Of course, it’s not officially gay unless canon states it, but the books not only don’t give any justification for it, they get rid of possible justifications, so while you can’t say it’s not fanservice, you can’t label it as just fanservice, either. For a studio that banks off fanservice like KyoAni, that’s a problem, especially since the novel is packed with heavy scenes and even heavier quotes.

I mean, in Masaki and Minato’s case, they don’t have the nakama power or rivalry elements, so one possible excuse for them being so close would be that they’re master and disciple. But Minato makes it clear quite early in the story that Masaki doesn’t have to be his master because just having Masaki’s company is enough for him, and all in all, the two of them have a much more affectionate relationship than the other teacher-student ones from the books. Another excuse would be the found family dynamics, but Masaki already shares that with Kaito, who canonically sees Masaki as the older brother he never had, and their relationship is unlike Masaki and Minato’s as well. Kaito also has a monologue in volume 2 about Masaki treating Minato differently from everyone else in the club, and the way he describes it denotes that Minato is Masaki’s favorite, and that Masaki doesn’t bother hiding it. Just as a cherry on top, Minato often loses his rationality when it comes to Masaki despite being a serious kid, and he’s very verbal about wanting to monopolize Masaki. Add fate to the mix and you have the perfect recipe for anything except an ordinary mentor-pupil relationship.

As for Kaito and Seiya, there was a lot going on between them since the beginning, but the nakama power excuse only starts applying late in volume 1, because they didn’t get along very well at first. And even then the nakama stuff hardly applies to their interactions, where Seiya often acts like Kaito has a thing for him, for no reason other than Kaito’s reactions being amusing. Their relationship also does some big strides in the middle of volume 1, and Seiya literally migrates to Kaito’s side at some point. They don’t seem to have a friendship as strong as the one between Seiya, Minato and Ryouhei, but it’s Kaito who Seiya interacts with the most in volume 2 and he’s also the one that Seiya leans on whenever he needs any sort of assistance. There’s other unexplainable things here and there, such as Seiya taking a peek at Kaito’s sleeping face when it’s just the two of them in the room, or him implying that Kaito is jealous of the motherly attention he gives Minato. It goes on as far as the novel does. There’s literally no scene with the two of them that doesn’t make it look like Kaito is really into Seiya and that Seiya owns his ass but he’s the last one to know.

Back to the main point, it’s really hard to animate all of this without giving people “ideas”. For KyoAni, any gay exists ultimately for the sake of fetishization, and they often follow the “ship whatever you want, even yourself with the characters” model. If being gay is canonically a character trait in the original, it’s out (Violet Evergarden is probably the best example of that one), and if the gay can’t be interpreted as something else, it’s either out or downplayed. In Seiya and Minato’s case, that’s perfectly feasible. Not only are they best friends, they also have a familial relationship where Seiya treats Minato like a son. Minato has sworn eternal friendship to Seiya in the novel, and both he and Kaito describe Seiya as something like a helicopter parent. There’s more than enough counter-argument to remind the viewers that, whatever happens between Minato and Seiya, it’s all a product of their childhood friend bond. Anyone is free to interpret it differently in fanon, but the viewers (at least the Japanese ones) are ultimately aware that the anime is in its “safe zone”, portraying a friendship. Nobody on the Japanese side of the fandom actually believed that there was romance going on in it. On the other hand, if you search in Japanese for people’s impressions of MasaMina, you’ll notice people often saying that the novel makes you wonder if Minato and Masaki aren’t actually dating, or if Minato doesn’t have a puppy crush on Masaki, at the very least. Basically, everyone seems to agree that what goes on between those two is hard to define, but whatever it is, there’s this very particular, “special” air about them that differs from the rest of the characters, which normally manifests when they’re alone together.

As you can tell, this overall view is the opposite of the animators’ ideal. If the novel had been animated the way it is, it would’ve probably felt like a BL for the people watching. Not only does it come with practically set ships, it also doesn’t give much space for the proverbial “ship even yourself with the characters” option. To put it bluntly, the animation went through those changes so that it could fit the mold. It gave us SeiMina and even some NanaKai (the latter being honestly disturbing, since they’re cousins), while either toning down or erasing the rest of the duo and trio interactions. It made Minato’s accident with his mom actually seem like Seiya’s fault and didn’t really take the burden off his shoulders but instead swept it under the rug. It also made Masaki seem like a two-faced bastard who only became a coach for the sake of revenge, which means he was using his students (actual 15/16-year-olds) for his own personal gains. Shuu and Minato’s friendship went down the drain, Ryouhei was pushed aside as if Seiya was Minato’s only childhood friend, Nanao was never depicted as his own person, and the girls didn’t even exist 90% of the time. So yeah, none of the changes served any good purpose for the characters’ images. All it did was (try to) fill a quota.

Personally, this whole thing feels like we’re being told to the face, “we’ve given you what you want, now give us your money”. It brings me back to interviews I’ve read featuring Stars Align director Akane Kazuki and his statements about the anime industry being in a pinch, specifically because animators nowadays keep trying to make a fool out of the audience for monetary ends. Seems clear to me that the staff thought the female viewers would latch onto anything as long as it looked remotely gay, and that’s why I was so angry back then. Being looked down on like this by people who expect us to consume their media is pretty offensive, in my opinion. I’m glad there’s at least one creator speaking up about this matter and using the exact same arguments as I have been for more than two years now.

[rainbow-sides]

A Hand to Hold: Chapter Seven

Summary: Patton befriends an isolated boy at his high school and soon develops feelings for him that aren’t just friendship. Navigating a relationship of any kind with Logan Barry isn’t easy, but it sure is worth it!

Pairings: romantic Logicality, possible background Prinxiety but I haven’t decided yet

Word Count: 1,739

Warnings: talk about bullying, ableism from a parent, very brief mention of Deceit, mentions of abusive therapy (implied ABA), food mention, mild spoilers for Doctor Who, anxiety, school stress,

Notes: ATTENTION I am no longer using a taglist. Instead, please follow and click notifications for the blog @rainbow-sides-fics. I’ll be reblogging all of my old fics there as well as any new ones I’ll be posting. Alternatively, A Hand to Hold is now available on AO3. Love you guys! <3 ~Martin

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six

___________________________________

“GCAT PUPY PUPY,” Virgil chanted, his palms pressed to his temples. “Guanine and adenine are purines, cytosine and thymine are pyrimidines. Right?”

Logan nodded. “Correct. Well remembered.”

“Thank God for mnemonics.” Virgil popped a chip into his mouth. “Okay. Okay. What else is on the study guide?”

“It says to understand 5’ and 3’ directionality, decoding amino acid sequencing, and be able to explain the process of DNA replication as well as translation from DNA to proteins,” Logan said, summarizing the study guide for what was probably the fourth or fifth time. Although he knew that Virgil obviously knew the material, he got anxious during tests. He had asked Logan to help study with him so he felt more prepared.

“I feel like I know all of that, but there's got to be a catch, right? I'm gonna fail. I'm gonna fail.” He started to breathe too quickly.

Chex, who had been resting on the floor next to Virgil's chair, sat up. She nudged Virgil's leg with her nose and let out a soft whine.

Virgil buried his hand in the fur on the back of the dog's neck and took a deep breath. “No, I'm probably not going to fail. I've never failed a test in this class before, and I've been doing all the work.”

“I don't believe that you will fail,” Logan agreed. He twisted the ring on his finger, not sure what else to say. 

He wanted to help Virgil, but anxiety was complicated and Logan wasn't great at complicated emotions. Logan figured it was probably best to leave that to Patton. And Chex, of course. The sweet black lab was so in tune with Virgil's anxiety that she could tell even before he started to have an attack and would remind him to redirect his energy into more productive avenues.

“Would you like to keep studying?” asked Logan. “I have vocabulary cards for the whole unit, and there is always a vocabulary section on the test.”

Virgil nodded. “Sure, vocab practice sounds good. Hey, um, thanks again for coming over to study with me. It's nice to have a friend in that class now, I'm less stressed about it.”

Logan thought that Virgil still seemed very stressed. He didn't voice that opinion. “Codon,” he said, holding up the first vocabulary card.

“Uhh, uh, it's any series of three nitrogen bases that code for a specific amino acid, right?”

“Correct. Peptide bond.”

Virgil looked up at the ceiling. “It's...uh, well, peptide is referring to proteins, so...bonds between proteins?”

“Bonds between amino acids,” Logan corrected. “Okasaki fragments.”

“Oh shit,” Virgil muttered. “Um, something about the leading strand?”

“Lagging strand. Okazaki fragments are the stretches of DNA that are copied piece by piece on the lagging strand,” said Logan. He spun the ring on his finger again. He hoped that Virgil wouldn't get worried that he wasn't getting all of the vocabulary right.

“Right! I remember now.”

“Operon.”

“Oh, hey, I know this one. A group of genes that are functionally related,” Virgil said.

���Correct. Intron.”

They kept going until all of the vocabulary cards had been discussed. Logan put aside the ones that Virgil had struggled on so he could keep looking at them later.

“Seriously, thank you so much for coming and helping me out,” Virgil said. “I feel much better about the test on Thursday.”

Logan flicked his hand up near the side of his face. “You're welcome,” he said.

“I don't think I'm going to be able to cram much more into my brain right now, I need a break. Hey, how's the Doctor Who marathon with Patton going?” Virgil wondered.

With a slight bounce in his seat, Logan replied, “We watched Boom Town this weekend! On Wednesday afternoon, he is coming to my house to watch Bad Wolf and The Parting of Ways!”

Virgil leaned forward. “Oh, man, you're already almost to Nine's regeneration? Does Patton know it's coming?”

“Yes, and he says that he will miss Eccleston, but that he's seen David Tennant in other things and is looking forward to meeting Ten,” Logan said happily. He hummed to himself for a second before adding, “I am looking forward to reaching Ten's episodes, he is my favorite modern Doctor.”

“I gotta say, I like Capaldi. He's grumpier. More my style. Though Tennant at the end of his run is cool, he gets dark and edgy.” Virgil grinned. “The new season with Jodie Whittaker was freaking fantastic, too.”

“Much agreed,” Logan said. “I appreciate having a larger group of companions again, and the diversity has improved recently.”

Virgil scratched Chex behind the ears. “Yeah, big team TARDIS's are fun. One of my favorites was at the end of Journey's End was when they were all flying the TARDIS like she's supposed to be flown.”

Logan nodded. “May I ask you a question?” he said suddenly.

“Yeah, course.”

“What does it feel like to you when you are excited about something? Such as when you are talking about or watching Doctor Who, or listening to the music you like?” Logan asked.

There was a long pause as Virgil thought about that. “It makes me happy, I guess.”

“How does it physically feel?” Logan pressed.

“Oh, jeez, I'm not sure. It almost makes me feel peaceful? Like, um, listening to my music makes my mind slow down for just a little while. My body feels more relaxed afterwards. Same with watching something I like. It's a comfort, almost.” Virgil tapped his fingers against the table. “This is a tough question, dude.”

Logan leaned back in his chair. “I apologize.”

“No, it's okay. Really, I just need to think for a minute. Um...it feels warm in my chest sometimes. I guess that's about it. Well, starting a new episode almost feels like anxiety for me. But then again, most emotions turn into anxiety for me. That's just how anxiety works,” Virgil said. Then he asked, “What does it feel like for you?”

Putting his hands on his chest, Logan says, “I'm not sure. I have alexithymia, so I have a difficult time labeling emotions. I can sometimes describe it in physical sensations, though. And my excitement about my special interests feels like my heart and my lungs and my stomach are all on fire, if being on fire felt good and didn't hurt.”

“Sounds intense.”

“It is.” Logan looked down as Chex put her head against his leg. Her sweet brown eyes blinked up at him, and a soft warmth spread through his chest. “Hello,” he said. “Hello, Chex. Your ears are very soft.” He stroked her head.

“She wants to make sure that you're okay,” Virgil said. “She...she can hear changes in people's voices and checks up on them, even if it isn't me.”

“I'm alright. I don't have excellent volume control, or tone control. I never know what I sound like, exactly.” He couldn't tear his eyes away from the beautiful dog. “But I suppose that talking about my experiences with emotion do cause me some distress, which could have emerged in my voice without my noticing.”

Virgil stood up and walked over to the living room. “Want to come sit over here, Lo?” he offered.

“Um, alright.” Logan went over to join him. Chex followed him, and all three of them sat down on the ground. “Why?”

“Why does talking about your emotions distress you?” Virgil asked.

Logan froze up. “Because they are difficult,” he said slowly. “And I do not understand them. I do not like talking to people about things I do not understand.”

“Are you worried that someone might tell you that your emotions are wrong?”

A confused, bad feeling swirled around inside him. Chex laid her head and front paws in his lap, and he felt calmer. “Perhaps, but I'm not sure that I understand the question,” Logan admitted, running his hands down the dog's fur. It was almost as soothing as a full-body stim, and the pressure of her weight against his legs added to that effect.

“I mean, do you think that someone will come along and tell you that the way you are labeling your emotions is wrong? That the words you use to describe your experiences are incorrect?” Virgil tried to clarify.

“Yes, that is what happens.” It had happened many times before. The way he tried to describe what he was feeling to his mother or to his therapists had often been misinterpreted or simply ignored because it didn't make sense. Logan had learned to keep quiet about what he was feeling.

“But you're talking to me about it, even though it...scares you?” Virgil checked. “Is that right?”

Logan shifted. “Yes.”

Virgil smiled. “I think that means you trust me. Thank you.”

“I do trust you,” Logan said. “And I have learned that you and Patton and Roman are worthy of my trust. You've never once tried to make me act normally, or made fun of me.”

“It sucks that the bar is so low,” sighed Virgil.

Logan kept petting Chex. “I don't know that that means, exactly, in this context.”

“Um, it means that I don't think that somebody not laughing at you or trying to change you into something you're not should be the bar, the threshold or limit, for whether or not you can trust them. I mean...I guess what I really mean is that it sucks that you don't get that from everyone. In a perfect world, nobody would make fun of anyone or try to change them,” Virgil explained.

“But we do not live in a perfect world,” Logan reminded him.

“Yeah. Yeah, I know. I know that very well.”

Chex whined softly and raised her head to look at Virgil. Her tail thumped a few times against the floor, and he scooted closer to put his hand on her back. He closed his eyes. Logan didn't say anything. They sat there petting Chex in silence for a while, and it was a soothing silence. Logan felt much calmer and less bad by the time his mother arrived to pick him up and take him home. 

He sat in the living room and watched Ian flutter around his plants as the afternoon trailed on. His mother chatted to him as she cleaned and prepared dinner, but he wasn't listening. He was off in his own head, trying to imagine a perfect world.

___________________________________

Sorry for the long wait and the fairly short chapter! I’m working on the next one. But also I’m going back to work next week, and school starts a couple weeks after that, so who knows when I’m going to have time to write? Ah, well. I’ll do what I can.

And hey, check out Time and Time’s Turning if you like my writing! It’s a fairy AU with eventual Royality and Analogical. Also, it has art!!!!! <3 ~Martin