#i want to be better at interacting with people but on days where avoidance hits this is about all i can handle

[pumpkinnning]

honestly if tumblr folds (which i know is unlikely to happen immediately but in time) and we lose f1blr i hope i will have stopped hyperfixating on f1 by then because i don't think i can replicate the experience in the ao3 comments and what else am i gonna do get on f1 twitter ? No way in hell

[prdx-invdr]

୨୧⸝⸝﹕if you call me a fool, then i’ll be a fool.

SUMMARY! you’ve been in love with park wonbin since the day the two of you met and never found the courage to tell him. why is it that you find yourself yearning to confess the moment someone else comes into the picture?

PAIRING! park wonbin x fem!reader

GENRE! college!au, slice of life, fluff, angst (an attempt was made), friends to lovers, IDIOTS to lovers omg WC 8.1k

WARNING! swearing, jealousy, y/n likes wonbin an insane amount girl get up, insecurity, anton instigates like it’s his job and he’s up for a promotion, random female idol is mentioned many times (nothing against her!!), not proofread

NOTE! do u guys know what song the title is from lol.. LOL also i had another wonbin fic i wanted to post and deleted it bc it sucked so actually im posting this one as a coping mechanism

you don’t realize the way you’re staring at the back of wonbin’s head until a voice snaps you out of your trance. “do you know what you want?” shotaro asks you, waving a hand in front of your face.

currently, the two of you, along with wonbin, seunghan, and anton, are standing in line at a beverage kiosk. the latter, having already received his drink, stands to your right while shotaro stands to your left. seunghan recites his order to the employee while wonbin stands idly behind him.

“don’t even bother asking,” anton chortles, lips still wrapped around his straw. “she’s probably gonna have wonbin order for her, like always.” you lightly slap him in the arm after the words leave his mouth, eyes darting to the aforementioned boy standing merely 2 inches in front of you, hoping he hadn’t heard anton’s teasing.

“i didn’t even say anything wrong! he orders for you all the time!” the boy whines, jokingly rubbing his arm where you had hit him.

shotaro lets out a curt laugh at the interaction, knowing that anton’s words held truth to them, whether you liked to admit it or not. “it’s because she’s shy. right, y/n?” he turns to you, attempting to diffuse your embarrassment. one look at the smile on his face and anyone would be able to tell that his words were complete bullshit. the two of you knew that the real reason you liked having wonbin order for you was because you liked him.

however, for your own sake, you sigh and choose to agree with shotaro’s statement, only offering a small nod. “whatever,” anton mutters under his breath, walking over to seunghan who has his own beverage in hand.

now that you, shotaro and wonbin were the only people in line, shotaro grabs your sleeve and gently pulls you backwards, putting more distance between the two of you and the boy who was now placing his order. before shotaro says anything, you know what the topic of conversation is going to be.

“do you ever plan on telling him?” is all he inquires, his voice lowering to a whisper. you avoid his piercing gaze, instead turning to look at anton and seunghan, laughing in between sips of their respective drinks. anton is already nearly finished with his, you note.

when you’re done observing them, you shift your attention to wonbin, who has his arms crossed as he points at one of the cup sizes the kiosk has on display, indicating that it’s the one he wants.

you’re unable to see his face but you’re able to picture it better than anything. the way his lip quirks upwards in an attempt to be polite to the employee. the furrow of his brow as he asks a question.

shotaro sighs at your silence and finds it astonishing how you’re able to ogle wonbin without even looking at his face. that very sigh brings you back into reality, finally meeting the gaze of the boy currently interrogating you.

“he… doesn’t think of me that way,” you slowly tell him, as if the words would physically pain you if you uttered them too quickly. shotaro lets out a noise you can only assume was meant to be a scoff, but being passive aggressive simply doesn’t run in his blood.

“are you kiddi-“ shotaro is interrupted by wonbin holding a drink in front of your face, thus putting a barrier between the two of you. “here, y/n,” the long haired boy hums, not moving from his spot until you take the beverage filled plastic cup. if you didn’t have park wonbin tunnel vision, as shotaro likes to call it, you’d see the way anton is shaking his head and letting out a short laugh in disbelief upon witnessing the interaction. “called it,” he tells seunghan, who only blinks in confusion.

“i wasn’t sure which one you wanted, but i remembered that time we went to that other drink place and you said you really liked the strawberry one, so i got you that,” wonbin explains, holding his own straw up to his mouth. he says it nonchalantly, as if you could either finish the drink in about 5 seconds before proclaiming how much you enjoyed it, or you could throw it to the ground and curse at him for assuming the flavor you wanted, and he wouldn’t flinch either way.

“um— yes— yeah, i..” you stutter, and shotaro swears it takes everything in him not to slap his own forehead at your sudden jumpiness. “i like it, thank you. you didn’t have to, wonbin,” you exhale, holding your drink with both hands.

“yeah, well, force of habit, you know?” the boy laughs. “since i’m always ordering for you anyway.” his words cause you to tense and you can just picture anton’s shit-eating grin after he heard what wonbin said. “right, yeah,” you nod, wanting the conversation to be over with. the 5 of you continue walking throughout the mall, seunghan complaining about what a ridiculous amount of time you had all just spent at that beverage kiosk.

“force of habit is crazy,” anton decides to tease you again, earning another slap on the arm. “stop hitting me!”

besides ordering drinks for you when you hadn’t requested for him to do so, anton has noticed that wonbin also tends to subconsciously let you get away with… a lot.

he doesn’t even attempt to hide the way he rolls his eyes when he walks into the living room and sees none other than you and wonbin, the latter seated on the carpeted floor while you’re situated on the couch behind him, playing with his hair.

“i shouldn’t have come in here,” he mutters, barely audible. he’s unsure if he wanted you and wonbin to hear him, but your head snaps in his direction nonetheless. “hey, anton,” you greet him despite knowing that he’d have a lot to say about your current position. he nods his head in acknowledgement before pursing his lips. you brace yourself for whatever comment he’ll inevitably make next, morphing your lips into a straight line.

“you know,” anton starts, and you’re already holding back the urge to groan. “wonbin never lets any of us touch his hair like that.”

“right, because you guys are always so eager to play with my hair, huh?” wonbin quips sarcastically. anton shrugs, although wonbin isn’t looking at him. “so you’re saying if we wanted to, we could?” anton questions, moving across the living room to grab his phone charger, finally remembering why he had walked into the room in the first place.

“nah,” wonbin replies, “not sure why you’d want to, anyway.”

“i don’t see you questioning why y/n wants to do it,” anton insists, already making his way out of the room, pausing momentarily to hear wonbin’s response.

“she doesn’t need a reason,” his older friend says, “she’s y/n.” anton shakes his head and continues on his way. you resume treading your hand through wonbin’s hair as if nothing had happened, but unbeknownst to the boy sitting in front of you, your heart rate had increased at his words.

“he’s just jealous,” wonbin jokes. you only let out a short laugh in response. you wonder how he would react if you informed him that anton had actually sprung up that conversation because he knows about your tremendous crush on the raven haired boy.

“do you think you’d ever go blonde?” you inquire, changing the subject. he lets out a snort and tilts his head to look back at you. you’re grinning, trying to ignore the way your heart does somersaults in your chest.

“i don’t think the world is ready for that,” he laughs.

“what are we laughing about in here?” a voice sings from the door way, ripping your attention away from wonbin. you turn to the perpetrator and lock eyes with sungchan, who sends you a smile. you wave at him and he takes it as an invitation to sit himself down on the couch beside you.

“nothing much,” wonbin answers. your hands finally retreat from his hair and you miss the way his shoulders slump in response.

“right,” sungchan nods, turning his attention to whatever you and wonbin are watching on tv. in actuality, neither you nor him have been paying the television any mind for at least an hour, and only now do you realize that some sort of ocean documentary has been playing this whole time.

a few minutes of silence proceed before sungchan clasps his hands together and stands up from the couch abruptly, startling you.

“man, this has been boring,” he announces, eyes darting between the two of you, seated in the same positions as when he first entered the room. “do you guys even talk?”

“we were, actually, before you walked in,” wonbin mutters, not meaning for his words to come out as sourly as they do. sungchan raises his hands in the air in defense. “hey, my bad. i didn’t realize the two of you were having an ocean documentary date,” he retorts.

“we’re not having-“ you’re about to correct him, only for him to cut you off.

“but, you know, bin,” he says, “i’m not sure how sangah would feel about you having a movie date with another girl.”

you feel like your entire world freezes over the moment you hear those words leave sungchan’s mouth. you quickly rid your face of your crestfallen expression, not wanting to give yourself away.

“who?” you can’t stop yourself from asking, and sungchan just stares at you. wonbin waves his hand dismissively, shaking his head in annoyance. “shut up, dude.”

“wait, y/n doesn’t know about sangah?” sungchan asks, a genuinely confused look crossing over his features. “i thought you guys told each other everything.”

wonbin groans in irritation. “i haven’t told anyone, actually, because it doesn’t matter. you only know because you’re nosy as fuck.”

sungchan chuckles, and you would attempt to let out a halfhearted laugh if you didn’t feel like your chest was aching. you lick your lips and stare questioningly at the side of wonbin’s head.

“look, bro,” sungchan gestures towards you, causing wonbin to turn around and meet your disheartened eyes. his face drops slightly, and you’re not in the correct headspace to try and pinpoint why. “she’s upset because you didn’t tell her!” his friend chimes.

wonbin shakes his head, still looking at you. “she’s just some girl,” he huffs. “i don’t even know her that well.”

you scoff before plastering a wobbly smile onto your face. “i’m not upset,” your voice quivers and you hope that wonbin doesn’t notice it. you’re not sure why he decides to reassure you about sangah— whoever that is— but you pray that it’s not because he’s known about your pathetic crush on him all this time and is now feeling bad for you because he’s currently seeing someone.

of course, only your cruel mind could formulate such a sickening thought.

“i’m just.. surprised,” you conclude with an unconvincing nod. wonbin closes his eyes in annoyance, and you know it’s because of his intrusive friend standing in the doorway. “sungchan, just stop spreading shit around, alright?” he gives him a tired look, finally getting up from the floor. as wonbin makes his way past sungchan in the doorway, the taller boy gives him a playful slap on the shoulder. with wonbin having left the room, you find yourself looking to sungchan with urgency.

“who is sangah?” you plead, trying to keep your emotions at bay. the boy furrows his eyebrows, confusion settling into his features once more. “why do you care, y/n?” he asks. you know that his question doesn’t come from a place of mockery, but rather genuine interest. it hits you in that moment that sungchan, as smart as he is, happens to be absolutely terrible at taking a hint.

somehow, when it came to the long lasting feelings you harbored for one of his closest friends, sungchan was none the wiser. you surmise that he wouldn’t have teased wonbin so openly about another girl had he known about your feelings for the long haired boy.

that, you suppose, you can’t really blame him for.

“um,” you start, “he’s one of my closest friends.” your words are spoken through gritted teeth and clenched fists. “i’m just curious, you know?” the lie comes out easier than you think it should’ve.

sungchan hums, crossing his arms and giving you a curt nod. “just some girl,” sungchan tells you, repeating wonbin’s words from a few minutes ago. “yoon sangah. she’s in our music fundamentals class. like, 2 days ago, i think, she wrote her instagram handle on a slip of paper and gave it to wonbin right in front of me.” your face falls for what seems like the millionth time in the past 10 minutes. you can only offer the tall boy a nearly inaudible hum in response.

“do you think it’ll lead to anything? you know, between her and wonbin?” again, you can’t stop yourself from asking. you feel sick at the thought of playing into the role of ‘jealous, overthinking girlfriend’, and even sicker at the fact that you and wonbin aren’t even dating. what right do you have to be inquisitive about his love life?

still, you can’t help it. when sungchan takes a bit longer to respond to your question you fear you’re treading on dangerous territory, afraid that even the dense boy you’re conversing with may have cracked the code. the grin that he aims at you a few seconds later serves as reassurance that, no, he still doesn’t know anything.

“that’s a good question, y/n dearest,” he pats your shoulder lightly. “i guess only time will tell.”

you hate yourself for what you’re doing right now.

looking back on the conversation you had with sungchan hours prior to this moment, you recalled him mentioning that sangah had given wonbin her instagram. thus, like any normal person would do in your situation, you took it upon yourself to go through wonbin’s following list in an attempt to find her.

you scroll past your own account, past the accounts of your mutual friends, and a few people who you presume are some of wonbin’s classmates.

when you finally stumble across sangah’s account, your body fills with dread before you even see a proper photo of her.

judging by her profile picture alone, you can tell that she’s pretty. you’re fully looking at her profile now, and your frown only deepens. she’s beautiful.

you shake your head as if it would help ease your racing mind. she’s beautiful, yes, you think, but looks aren’t everything. you find yourself childishly crossing your fingers that sangah had the personality of an evil witch, so that even if wonbin fell victim to her physical charm, he’d be pushed away by her true nature.

you let out a quiet scoff. you can’t believe you’re sitting here thinking badly about another girl just because she might have a crush on the same man you’ve been in love with since the day you met him. in the same sense, you can’t believe that when you say that sentence out loud, it actually sounds a bit reasonable. you blame sungchan, for a moment, drawing the inference that you wouldn’t feel so insecure right now if it hadn’t been for his previous teasing.

you can’t stop yourself when you click on one of sangah’s posts. she doesn’t have many, but the few that she has have seemed to gather thousands of likes. despite this, you take note of the fact that wonbin doesn’t have any of them liked— thank god, you think to yourself. you start to analyze her photos, the faces she makes at the camera, the outfits she wears, the way her hair is styled. when studying her facial expressions, you wonder if she’s made those same faces while looking at wonbin. when taking her outfits into consideration, you wonder if wonbin has seen her wearing any of them and thought she looked particularly nice. whilst examining her hair, you resist the urge to rip out your own. it’s perfect. she’s perfect.

she’s perfect, and from what you can tell, you aren’t anything like her. so what does that make you?

you move to close the app, feeling filled to the brim with self doubt when you suddenly freeze as your phone vibrates. you hesitantly open your dms and your eyes widen as they fall upon the newest message.

[3:02 AM] 1bin_02: why are u awake

your heart races and you momentarily contemplate if wonbin had somehow set up a security camera in your bedroom without your knowledge because how on earth did he know?

you don’t ponder on the matter for long, the aforementioned boy sending another message merely a few seconds later.

[3:02 AM] 1bin_02: u have ur activity status turned on btw

exhaling a breath of relief, you type a response to him.

[3:03 AM] you: why are U awake park wonbin

[3:03 AM] 1bin_02: i just woke up like 5 minutes ago. my y/n senses were tingling and my unconscious body felt a disturbance

[3:04 AM] 1bin_02: kiddinggg

[3:04 AM] 1bin_02: but fr why are u awake

you hold your breath as you type out your next response, choosing to be daring. you decide that, even if it’s only for a few seconds, you’re no longer going to be a coward.

[3:06 AM] you: i was thinking about u

[3:06 AM] 1bin_02: ditto

[3:07 AM] 1bin_02: i know im amazing and everything but don’t let me stop u from getting ur beauty rest 🙄 jk

[3:07 AM] 1bin_02: gn dummy

you decide against saying anything else, shutting off your phone with a sigh. you are a dummy, you think, and the boy who had just given you that title has no idea that it’s all because of him.

you’re exhausted the next day, concluding that being awake at 3 in the morning despite knowing that you had a class at 8AM was not the best idea.

wonbin is quick to take note of this, poking you on your side as the two of you follow your usual route to your next lecture of the day. “i bet someone regrets staying up until 3AM, hm?” he doesn’t bother to hide his smirk as you swat his hand away. “like you weren’t up at 3AM, too,” you mutter. he clicks his tongue in response. “that was only for a few minutes,” he says, “who knows how long you were awake for, though.”

before you’re forced to dignify wonbin with a response, anton and seunghan walk up to the two of you, the latter offering a wave while the former only smiles.

“where are we headed, guys?” seunghan asks, throwing an arm around wonbin. the boy attempts to shrug him off to no avail. “anton and i wanted to go get drinks and we were wondering if you guys wanted to come with,” he grins before quietly adding, “and maybe also pay for them.”

you laugh and wonbin turns to you upon hearing it, letting out a playful scoff of his own. “can’t, y/n has class in 10 minutes or so,” he turns to the two boys who now have their eyebrows raised in apprehension. “that’s where we were headed,” he finishes.

“and you’re walking her there,” anton nods, his words posing as more of a statement than a question. you can only dramatically roll your eyes. wonbin doesn’t seem to pick up any undertones, only nodding in response. “i might be able to tag along afterwards, though. no promises.”

“well, anton,” seunghan sighs, turning to his friend, “we’ll just have to take shotaro inste-“

the boy is cut off by the sound of a girlish voice calling out wonbin’s name. all 4 of you turn around in unison, and you feel like your heart has physically sunken into the floor. sangah.

wonbin’s at a loss for words for a moment and you want to run away more than anything. you’re not prepared to see the two of them interact, especially after looking at her instagram page last night. “hey, sangah,” is all he says, a smile plastered on his face that pains you to look at.

the girl is practically beaming. “what are you up to?” she grins, her eyes not daring to look anywhere but him. his eyes flicker to you momentarily, who is struggling to breathe.

“i’m walking her—” he gestures to you and sangah finally looks away from him, eyes now trained on yours, “to class. well, i was, before these two showed up.” wonbin waves a hand in anton and seunghan’s direction, the two boys adorning matching confused expressions on their faces. nobody moves a muscle for a few seconds and you’re afraid that your rapid heartbeat can be heard atop of the pin-drop silence.

“oh! my bad,” wonbin clears his throat, “guys, this is sangah,” he gestures towards the girl, “sangah, this is… guys.” he gestures towards his friends. “and y/n,” he gestures towards you for the second time, giving you a tap on the shoulder for good measure. sangah’s mouth forms an ‘o’ and she reaches out to shake your hand. you’re positive that if it weren’t for the freezing hallways of your university, your hands would be sweating, so you silently thank whoever’s in charge of the ac for seemingly always having it cranked up to the max. you and the girl shake hands, her smile noticably brighter than yours.

“nice to meet you, y/n,” she says. “you, too,” is all you’re able to respond with, smile tight.

“nice to meet you guys, too,” she waves at anton and seunghan with both hands and they wave back, offering their own respective greetings in return. awkward.

you cough, attempting to break the silence. “this has been fun,” you press your lips together for a second, “but i’ve gotta get to class. hope you guys have fun at that drink place later, or whatever,” you trail off, the last part of your sentence aimed towards anton and seunghan. “and it was nice meeting you, again,” you add, making eye contact with sangah. she smiles. you don’t say anything to wonbin as you attempt to squeeze past him, but he grabs your arm. “i’m walking with you, remember?” he says. you resist the urge to look at sangah or anyone else in your vicinity for that matter, surprised at his words. this random girl who’s obviously into him is standing only a few inches away and wonbin still insists on walking you to class.

“it’s okay,” you shake your head, unsure. wonbin can tell that you’re beginning to feel upset and he desperately wishes that sangah and even seunghan and anton were anywhere but here. “y/n-“ he starts, you cut him off. “it’s fine, wonbin,” you reaffirm. it isn’t, though.

you begin to walk in the direction of your class and release a breath that you hadn’t known you were holding. deep down, you wanted wonbin to disregard your words and resume walking with you, leaving sangah and his friends standing in the hallway. but wonbin was too polite for that, and you couldn’t even turn around to see if he had continued to engage in conversation with the 3 of them because you felt tears forming in your eyes. stupid, stupid, stupid, you think to yourself.

unbeknownst to you, sangah was able to sense the tension in the atmosphere before anyone had even said anything to her. she kisses her teeth, scratching the side of her head. “i should probably go, too,” she tells wonbin. the boy can tell that she would’ve liked to talk more, but he wasn’t looking to become friends or even acquaintances with her. doing that would only give her the wrong idea, and he didn’t want to have any bad blood with someone he’d be forced to see nearly everyday in class. the boy nods in understanding, giving her a wave. “nice.. talking to you,” he bids her farewell, unsure of what to say, because whatever had just transpired definitely did not qualify as a conversation. the girl waves back with an unwavering smile, walking in the opposite direction you had gone.

“oh, man,” seunghan lets out a laugh he had been holding in, “that was the worst. please don’t ever put me through anything like that again.” anton silently agrees, cringing.

“is it just me,” wonbin starts, ignoring his friend’s remark, “or did y/n seem kind of upset before she left?”

anton stretches his arms slightly, eyes looking anywhere but at his dark haired friend. “wonder why that might be,” he muses under his breath, but wonbin catches it. “what do you mean?” he pushes, looking his younger friend in the eye. anton puts his hands in the air in mock surrender.

“anton, what the hell do you mean?” wonbin asks again, voice tinged with annoyance. anton shakes his head, “figure it out.”

seunghan watches his friends go back and forth, a bit confused himself. much like sungchan, he seems to be completely oblivious when it comes to the way you feel about wonbin.

you’re currently sitting in class wondering why you even bothered to show up.

you knew before you even sat down that you wouldn’t be able to process a single word of the lecture, your mind thinking over your first official encounter with sangah.

ever since last night, you’ve started to dread moments like these— none of your friends being around to distract you, leaving you alone with your own miserable thoughts. it feels as though each minuscule moment of silence is filled with your insecurities being pushed to the forefront of your mind.

what did they talk about after you had left? did seunghan and anton decide to leave shortly after, leaving wonbin and sangah alone? did they grow closer in the small amount of time they were left together? even worse, what if the amount of time they spent together wasn’t small at all? oh god, what if they’re still together right now?

had anton, seunghan or, worst of all, wonbin decided to invite sangah to their aforementioned drink hangout? your mind drifts to the image of wonbin ordering a drink for sangah, the same way he always does for you, and you feel like bursting into tears similarly to the way you had almost done so on your way to class.

and sangah— god, you wanted to hate her so bad. your prayers that she had the personality of a wicked witch were thrown out the window the second she opened her mouth. she was so nice to you. the guy that she likes had openly expressed that he wanted to walk you to class and she still smiled at you. she’s got the most perfect appearance and most perfect attitude and you feel like you can’t compete with any of it.

you check your phone for the first time in approximately 30 minutes, eager for a distraction. you’re dismayed to see only 3 notifications, one from the boy who seems the root of every current problem in your life, and two from sungchan.

[10:04 AM] bin 🫶: everything ok??

[10:16 AM] sungchani: hey

[10:16 AM] sungchani: we’re all gonna hang out on friday night (as decided by me just now) and u will be coming! (also decided by me just now)

you open your phone, typing a quick response to wonbin about how everything is fine (lie) and sending another short message in hopes of steering the conversation in a different direction. you open the two messages from sungchan, shaking your head as if he’d be able to sense your attitude through the screen.

[10:48 AM] you: who’s “we” exactly…. and what will “we” be doing

[10:50 AM] sungchani: don’t act dumb girl… me, you, taro, seunghan, anton and wonbin obviously. was gonna see if eunseok and sohee could make it but i doubt eunseok would wanna and i think sohee’s doing some group assignment lolol

[10:51 AM] sungchani: as for your other question i was thinking about going to the movies yay or nay? (say yay)

[10:51 AM] you: pass

[10:52 AM] sungchani: perfect see u there!

you don’t bother responding to sungchan’s final message, knowing that no amount of opposition from you would deter him. he’d probably drag you all the way to the theater himself if he had to. but you really don’t want to go, feeling drained from the thoughts that have been plaguing your mind ever since sungchan mentioned sangah for the first time. you’d much rather spent your friday night in bed, trying to give your brain a much needed break. maybe if you really felt like torturing yourself, you’d pull up sangah’s instagram once more.

when class ends, you’re shocked to find anton waiting for you outside of the lecture hall. he’s holding a plastic cup filled with chai tea, leaning against the wall leisurely as he sips through an orange straw. he doesn’t look in your direction, which confuses you, because you’re undoubtedly the reason he’s currently standing outside of your classroom.

“lee anto-“ the boy in question cuts you off by lifting his index finger in front of your face, still not looking at you. you scoff in irritation, not wanting to deal with his antics in your current state.

“you’re coming on friday, yes?” he questions, his voice slightly above a whisper. “not if i don’t have to,” you say, your voice at a normal volume. anton, finally looking you in the eyes, presses his index finger to his lips as if to indicate that you need to be quieter. “you do have to,” he nods.

you pinch the bridge of your nose. “why the hell are you whispering?” you scowl, and he keeps his index finger on his lips. you groan before reluctantly lowering your voice to match his, despite the fact that you still don’t know why he wants you to do so. “what’s going on?” you inquire.

“you have to come on friday,” he repeats quietly, “and you’re gonna tell dark star that you’re in love with him.”

you blink. “who?” anton leans his head back in annoyance before mouthing, “PARK WONBIN.” you recoil for a myriad of reasons. “first of all, i’m not coming on friday,” your voice slightly increases in volume, “and even if i was, i most definitely would not use it as an opportunity to confess to wonbin. and why in the world did you just call him that?” you finish, exasperated.

anton only sips his drink, his aura calm and collected. “you’re going,” he answers pointedly, “because if you don’t, dark star is gonna find out either way.”

your eyes widen and you feel like all of the air has left your lungs. “what do you mean by that? you wouldn’t actually-“

“i would, though. if telling dark star about your crush on him would get you to stop pining after him like a fool, why wouldn’t i? and, in addition,” anton fully turns to you, his voice raising to a light mumble, “i saw the way you reacted when sarah started talking to him earlier.”

“it’s sangah,” you deadpan. anton waves his hand dismissively. “not the point. with the way you acted earlier, you would’ve thought they were getting married right in the middle of that hallway,” he sounds concerned as he speaks the words, not looking anywhere but at you.

“i’m not saying that wonbin— dark star, i mean, has a thing for sandra right now. frankly, i don’t think he cares about her at all,” anton continues, “but if you’re that worried about some random girl taking him away from you when they’ve known each other for like, a week, i think that’s a sign that it might be a good idea to tell him how you’re feeling.”

you look down, letting his words settle into your mind. “i’ll come on friday,” you nod, and the boy in front of you smiles at your words, “but i have to give the whole confessing to wonbin thing a bit more thought. i mean, it’s kind of sudden.” anton’s advice actually made sense, you think, but you’re not sure if you’re ready to tell the boy you’ve been harboring feelings for all this time that you’re in love with him on a random friday night.

“sudden?” anton asks, breaking you out of your thoughts. “i think it’s long overdue. fire tornado hector thinks so, too,” he tells you.

you turn to him, dumbfounded. “where the hell are you getting these names from?!”

friday night comes in the blink of an eye and you’re standing in the lobby of the theater with shotaro, anton, seunghan, and sungchan. wonbin is nowhere to be seen.

“i told him 7PM sharp,” sungchan murmurs impatiently, checking his watch. shotaro turns to anton, jokingly hitting the younger boy on the arm with a laugh. “imagine he just decided to stay home,” he chuckles, “i bet y/n would be relieved.”

“why would she be relieved?” seunghan intrudes curiously. anton shrugs. “i told her she had to confess to wonbin tonight,” he says casually, as if he hadn’t just revealed your not-so-secret secret to an unsuspecting seunghan. the older boy’s eyebrows raise at anton’s words, his lips parting.

“you like wonbin?” he questions you eagerly. “dude, i can’t believe you didn’t know by now,” anton answers in your place as you press your lips together. “and we won’t be using the name wonbin when he arrives. he’s dark star. the codename helps when you’re trying to be discreet,” he finishes.

“yeah, because you know all about being discreet, right?” you reply, voice laced with sarcasm. anton knows that you’re referring to the way he had exposed your feelings for wonbin merely 30 seconds ago, avoiding your gaze as he whistles idly.

“sorry i’m late, guys,” the man of the hour exhales as he walks up to the 5 of you. sungchan studies wonbin, unimpressed. the latter can sense his older friend’s agitation, clicking his tongue. “you’ll forgive me once you find out why i’m late,” he assures, “look who i brought with me.”

you can’t prevent the way your heartbeat escalates, both at the mere presence of wonbin and the words that have just left his mouth. you’re unsure if you even want to find out who he’s brought with him, fearing the worst.

“sohee! eunseok!” you hear sungchan exclaim, excitedly making his way over to the two figures that have just entered the theater. he wraps his lengthy arms around both of them simultaneously.

“guess our invitations got lost in the mail, huh?” eunseok muses, returning his friend’s embrace. the three of them return to where you and the others are standing and sungchan scratches the back of his neck. “my bad, man,” he utters bashfully, “the movie we’re watching is pretty lame. didn’t think you’d be into it.”

“still, it’s an excuse to see you guys,” eunseok shrugs, turning to greet everyone else. sohee does the same, wrapping his arms around you before anyone else.

“y/n! it’s been forever,” he grins, you return it. “it’s been… 2 weeks,” you tell him, hugging him back nonetheless. “i still missed you, though,” you hum. “stop hogging him, y/n!” seunghan teases, “we haven’t seen him in weeks either!”

the two of you release each other, and when you turn, wonbin is at your side. he taps your arm. “why don’t you greet me like that?” he feigns jealousy, pursing his lips. you smile at him, hoping to mask your nervousness, “i see you everyday.”

he rolls his eyes. “that doesn’t mean you can’t miss me.”

“i always do,” you say absentmindedly. by the time your words register, wonbin is already grinning. “ditto,” he mutters, his words meant for only you to hear.

he turns away before you can comment, and eunseok takes his place beside you. he wraps an arm around your shoulders, greeting you. you think nothing of his actions before he leans down, angling his head so that it’s directly next to your ear. “i heard about healing michael’s plan,” he whispers, “the one about getting you to confess to dark star.”

“please don’t start this,” you plead, “i cannot deal with these nicknames right now. and how do you know about that?”

“um,” he starts, moving his head away from yours, “obviously healing michael filled me in on everything. just because we don’t physically see each other everyday doesn’t mean we don’t have a group chat.” he moves back to the previous topic, “he threatened to tell dark star about how you’re madly in love with him, right? he’s bluffing,” eunseok explains, “if you confess to dark star tonight, it should be because you really love him. not because anton frightened you into doing it.”

you nod at eunseok’s words, unsure. “and,” he continues, “it shouldn’t be about some other girl that might like him, either.” he takes note of the way your eyes widen a fraction. “yeah, anton told me about that, too,” he nods as you make a mental reminder to yell at anton later for airing out your business.

“what i’m saying, y/n, is make sure that you’re telling him how you feel, not for anyone else, but for you. well, and for him. and for you and him, together,” eunseok concludes, “don’t let healing michael or sandy get in the way of it.”

“it’s sangah,” you sigh, in awe of the fact that you’ve had to correct both him and anton. sungchan appears to have heard your final words, perking up at the mention of wonbin’s classmate.

“sangah? we’re talking about sangah?” he blurts out, turning to wonbin with a smile. “bro, we totally should’ve invited her,” he jokes, slapping his friend on the arm, “seeing her and wonbin interact in the theater would’ve been hilarious.” everyone grows tense at sungchan’s teasing— he was somehow still the only one unaware of your feelings for wonbin.

wonbin only shakes his head in response, his first instinct being to look over at you. you’re wearing that same disheartened look on your face as the first time you found out about sangah, and he can hardly breathe. his eyes narrow at the sight of eunseok’s arm still hanging off your shoulders.

“sungchan, when does the movie start? we’ve been standing here for a while,” shotaro states, attempting to alleviate the situation. “oh, we still have about,” sungchan checks the time on his watch, “ten minutes before the trailers even start playing,” he responds.

shotaro ushers the group over to the concession counter, quickly making some excuse about everyone needing to choose their snacks for the movie. “amateurs,” sungchan mutters, “who doesn’t bring their own snacks to the movies?”

wonbin finds his place beside you again, briefly studying your features. he notices the way you stand stiffly in your spot and the slight wrinkle between your brows. “hey,” he tries to get your attention. your eyes soften as they meet his that are flooded with worry. “i’m sorry,” he frowns, “about what happened back there. i don’t know why he keeps mentioning her.”

you’re puzzled and, yet again, asking yourself if he’s apologizing because he knows that you have feelings for him or if it’s because he still thinks you’re upset that he didn’t tell you about sangah sooner.

you prayed that he wasn’t apologizing due to the former, but why would he even need to apologize if it was the latter? if nothing was going on between wonbin and sangah, he had no reason to tell you about her. you press your lips into a tight line. maybe that was it— something was going on between them. that’s why he’s saying sorry to you right now, because he regrets not telling you before when you’re supposed to be one of his closest friends.

and that’s all you’ll ever be to him, because you were too much of a coward to confess to him when you had the chance. you think about how disappointed your friends are going to be once you break the news to them that you wouldn’t be confessing to wonbin tonight, or ever.

“don’t apologize, wonbin,” you quietly tell him, and he wonders why it seems as though you’re about to cry. he shakes his head, getting the sense that you misunderstood his words. he looks back at your mutual friend group, seeing that they’re all preoccupied. wonbin seizes the opportunity, grabbing your hand and taking you to a secluded area of the theater.

“please don’t tell me not to apologize,” he breathes, “because i have so much to apologize to you for.”

you’re confused and concerned, your lips parting slightly. you don’t have the chance to savor the feeling of wonbin’s hand still holding yours because you’re mentally preparing yourself for whatever words he’s about to say. this is it, you tell yourself. you stare at the ground, anticipating the feeling of disappointment and rejection.

“i like you so much.”

you stop breathing as the words leave wonbin’s mouth. you’re terrified to look up, unsure if you’d even heard him correctly. he responds to your unvoiced worries by repeating the statement.

“i like you so much, and i’m sorry for holding it in this long,” he says breathlessly, “i’m sorry for letting sungchan talk about sangah all the time, because i didn’t want you to think that i could ever like anyone else.”

he continues despite your silence. “and i’m sorry for telling you all of this in a movie theater, of all places. i’ve been psyching myself up for weeks, but i couldn’t stand the thought of you not knowing any longer. i’m tired of misunderstandings.”

he finally takes a deep breath, and you look up at him for the first time. “are you serious?” is all you’re able to say. you want to be 100% sure that your mind isn’t being as cruel as it normally is when it comes to park wonbin.

he nods, appearing to be just as nervous as you are, and you think that’s good enough of an indicator that he’s not joking.

“you fool,” you breath out in utter disbelief, not knowing if your words are directed at wonbin or yourself. the boy looks troubled for a moment before he hears a noise similar to a sob leave your mouth.

you hide your face with your hands. “i was supposed to be the one to confess to you.”

it’s wonbin’s turn to be silent now, listening to you rant. “it was this whole thing— healing michael, dark star.. eunseok knew about it, and shotaro..” you trail off. your words don’t even make sense to yourself, and you doubt they make any sense to the boy in front of you. “my god, wonbin— i’ve liked you since the day i met you!” you cry, hands still obstructing your vision.

wonbin hesitantly takes it upon himself to grab your wrists, removing your hands from your face. “do you mean that?” he asks, trying to meet your gaze.

you don’t look him in the eye as you continue rambling. “i was so scared,” you tell him, “sungchan mentioned her out of nowhere that day and i was so scared. i thought she was your secret girlfriend, or something.” you feel stupid for telling him all of this, finally admitting to your jealousy.

“when i saw her for the first time, i thought it was over,” you shake your head, “someone so pretty having a crush on you? i felt like nothing next to her. sungchan even told me that she wrote down her instagram and casually handed it to you— i’d kill to be that confident in myself,” you’re not even paying attention to the words leaving your mouth anymore, wanting to get everything you’ve been holding in out of your system.

when you finally look at wonbin’s face, he looks sad, which startles you. you’re afraid that you’ve just killed his mood with your venting. “i’m sorry— i didn’t me-“ you’re interrupted by wonbin pulling you to his chest, shaking his head at your words. “you fool,” he repeats your words from minutes ago. “i can’t believe you’ve been feeling that way about yourself.”

he keeps you in his embrace as if you’d run away if he were to let go. “i can’t think of anyone prettier than you,” he mutters, “or nicer, or funnier. or anything, really, because i think of you more than anyone else. i guess it’s my fault, kind of. i could’ve expressed it in ways other than walking you to class and ordering dumb overpriced drinks for you.” you let out a quiet laugh at his last sentence and he smiles, pulling away slightly so he’s able to see your face.

“i guess we’re both kind of stupid,” you conclude, earning a nod from the dark haired boy. “only when it comes to you,” he says, “i happen to think i’m very intelligent on every other occasion.”

when you finally regroup with everyone, they’re all wearing looks of disappointment on their faces. upon asking what happened, eunseok shoves a thumb in sungchan’s direction, the brown haired boy adorning a sheepish expression. “this fucker got the time wrong. the movie was at 6:15, not 7:15,” eunseok grimaces, “i better get a refund for my ticket.”

“you didn’t even pay for it,” wonbin says, “i did. sohee’s, too.”

anton, having been the first one to notice both yours and wonbin’s disappearance from the group, narrows his eyes at the boy. “and where were you?” he raises a brow, attempting to look intimidating. wonbin dismisses him with the wave of a hand.

before you and wonbin decided to rejoin your friends, you had to tell him not to hold your hand, much to his dismay. only after discovering the reason why, did he reluctantly agree.

you stand as far away from wonbin as possible, putting on a melancholy act. shotaro is the first to take notice of this, putting a hand on your shoulder. “did you tell him?” he questions, your silence serving as an answer in itself. eunseok overhears, looking at you with pity in his eyes.

when anton finally sees the distance put between you and wonbin, he concludes that you weren’t able to tell him about your feelings. he sighs, shaking his head.

as if on cue, you look at wonbin with determination burning in your eyes, beginning to advance towards him. the group is silent as they watch the two of you curiously.

“dark star,” you begin straightforwardly, “i’m in love with you.” wonbin tries concealing his laughter as he swiftly takes in the reactions of his friends. eunseok smiles knowingly while anton and shotaro are wide-eyed. seunghan wears an amused expression, sohee’s eyebrows are raised, and on top of it all, sungchan looks incredibly confused.

wonbin, keeping up the act, covers his mouth in mock astonishment. “did you guys hear that?” he turns to his friends, who are now all aware that they’re being pranked. “my girlfriend is in love with me!” wonbin beams, “metal blaze, i accept your confession.”

eunseok clicks his tongue, nodding. “metal blaze, that’s a good one,” he notes under his breath.

“alright, we get it,” anton groans, “it took you guys long enough.” he turns to you, unable to stop a smile from forming. “i hope you know i was never actually going to tell him myself. i only said that in hopes of scaring you into telling him.”

you nod, “eunseok told me that already. and it wasn’t me that confessed to wonbin— he confessed to me.” everyone is shocked at your comment, seunghan walking behind wonbin and giving him a congratulatory slap on the shoulder. you purposefully skip over the fact that you all but cried to wonbin immediately after said confession about how much you liked him in return, and he pinches your side.

“you know, when you guys disappeared, i made a bet with shotaro that you guys were probably making out somewhere,” eunseok adds, “he said you guys were probably just in the middle of the whole confessing thing. i owe him seven bucks now.” shotaro pats him on the back with false sympathy.

as the topic of conversation shifts to something else, sungchan’s jaw is still practically on the floor. he looks at the way wonbin has his arm around your shoulders, head practically buried in your neck. he can’t stop himself from blurting out his next words.

“has y/n had a crush on wonbin this entire time?!”

AUTHOR’S NOTE! congrats to u if u survived reading all that ohhh lord i promise i’ll make y/n less unbearable next time but for now u guys are just gonna have to find it in ur hearts to forgive me… also it’s 5am rn and idk if i hate this fic umm we’ll see if i regret posting this when i wake up tmr

[couldeatthatgirlforlunch]

Yandere batfam or justice league with a reader who’s afraid of strong people/men due to a past abusive relationship? She never wants to feel that powerless and weak again so she actively avoids interacting with anyone stronger, bigger, taller any more than necessary. She doesn’t hold it against other ppl she just has a lot of trauma that she’d rather not work through and feel safe in her little bubble

Hit me Hard and Soft

Synopsis: You get saved by Robin, but not everything is as it seems.

Pairing: Yandere!Poly!Romantic!Batboys X Gn!Reader

Tw: All characters aged up, of course; Mentions and descriptions of violence, including physical, psychological, sexual and financial abuse, and Damian fighting criminals (I'm particularly proud of the action scene I wrote); Drugging and being unconscious; Mentions of death of minor characters and suicide; Mentions of past grooming (Reader's ex) and age gap (Reader’s ex, Reader X Bruce, and the batboys age is not mentioned); Implied stalking; Mentions of kidnapping; Reader's very traumatized and weary of everyone; Reader doesn't trust the police; Mention of a panic attack and descriptions of actual panic; Guns and knifes; Mention of cigarettes; Implied needles; English isn't my 1st language.

Requested? Yes.

Extra notes: Wish I had more interactions between Reader and the batboys here, but I'm more than willing to make a part 2 with the right idea.

General masterlist

He's back again. You wish you could say you didn't know why he always came back, but you did. The food wasn't that great and it wasn't that close to where he told you he worked or lived. It also didn't help that he always made sure to be served by you. And that he flirted with you.

— Evening, (N/N)! Is there something as sweet as you on today’s menu? — You gave a small and polite laugh.

— Strawberry pie… As always…

It was kinda sad, but mostly scary. If it wasn't for your ex, you would be thrilled to have gotten the attention of Dick fucking Grayson. The whole city knew he was handsome, rich, talented and charismatic. Gotham's sweetheart, Gotham's golden boy. And from your daily interactions, he lived up to the expectations. He was polite even when flirting with you and asking you out. Yet, something held you back.

— Nice! Since you get out in a few, why don't you bring in two slices? One for me and one for you, it's on me, of course. — You shook your head quickly, with an empty heart, just wanting to get away from him as fast as possible.

You were with your ex since you were 17 to 26. Almost 10 years wasted on a dirtbag. He convinced you to leave your friends, to leave your family, to leave your job. As soon as you started living together, you were completely dependent on him. Sometimes you blamed him, sometimes yourself, sometimes the people you had around you, but back then, where you came from, people weren't questioning the imbalance of powers between a 17 year old highschooler with no job and a 23 year old man with a steady job and living alone.

He convinced you that going to college and ending your relationship was the worst decision you could take. Then, that you didn't need your family, he could take care of you. One day, he decided you couldn't have friends.

He often locked you inside the house, cursed your skills and appearance, neglected your overall health, intimidated you, screamed at you, broke your things that he did and didn't pay for. He hurt you physically, even sexually. You knew both dating him and leaving him was hard, you just expected living with the scars was going to be easier.

And it was! You decided to run away from him and to Gotham when you received the news that your mom died and he didn't even want to let you go to the funeral. The grieving made you reflexive and you realized how shitty your situation was. For years you just thought that it would eventually get better, that you just needed to be strong, that he showed he loved you when he wasn't being an asshole, that you couldn't get anything better, that he made you feel special.

You couldn't even go to the police, he was a cop, you knew the chances that in any scenario you would lose. So you ran.

You knew it was dangerous, but you had nothing to lose. If he didn't kill you, you would do it yourself. You made a plan, drugged him, took some of his money, used his house keys, left everything behind for the second time in your life. You didn't waste time asking for help from the people you knew. You took the bus and went as far away as you could.

Your paranoia was so bad that for almost a year, you would settle in a city, work to save up enough, and leave again, rinse and repeat. Eventually, Gotham seemed big and far enough to go by unnoticed.

Or that's what you thought, until Dick Grayson stopped by the diner you worked to have breakfast before going to work, as a cop, and decided you caught his attention.

Since then, he came back everyday. Either breakfast, lunch, dinner, or just to hang out with some family member, usually one of his brothers, his dad appeared with him sometimes too. Your boss loved the attention Bruce and Tim attracted, the two most media active ones, since they both led Wayne Enterprises.

Eventually, even them started appearing multiple times a week. You thought you were healing, until you found yourself crying for almost four hours at home in a panic attack.

You didn't want their attention. Not only was it weird, but they were just so… Superior to you.

They were all taller, more muscular, faster, smarter, richer. It was like reliving the beginning of your relationship at 17, plus 10 times worse. Five because they were five people mirroring your ex, and more five just because of your trauma, experience, negativity and lack of naiveness.

Also, why were they ALL into you??? And they were aware of it! It was weird! Why??

Bruce Wayne was disarmingly charming in his dilf way. Dick was surprisingly accessible. Jason was soft spoken despite his resting bitch face and leather jacket. Tim was cute in a nerdy way. Damian almost made you laugh with his sarcastic humor.

Either way, you never wanted to feel as little as you felt before, so you just did your job, acted polite, but ultimately kept your distance.

Freedom has its difficulties, one of them being that you need money, and for money, you need a job, which means sometimes you have to stay until closing time, at 11 PM, in Gotham.

You're not the only employee to stay so late, but you and your co-worker live in opposite directions, so walking alone it is. They're taking the bus, but you only live two blocks away, so you gulp down your anxiety and keep walking. One hand on your pocket, holding your taser firmly, and keeping your head up, turning to look at every sound.

It's cold, and the street is empty and dimly lit. Some places are so dark that you wonder why you're even paying taxes if the streetlamps won't work.

Two men turn the corner a few meters in front of you, one at least a foot taller, the other, two inches max. They're wearing hoodies and their hands are on their pockets, the light behind them creates a shadow that doesn't allow you to see their faces, nor where they're looking at, but they are coming in your direction.

There's a car, parked between you both. Some people might think at this point it's just paranoia, but you’ve heard stories of people walking next to cars, getting pulled inside by someone who was hiding in there, and getting kidnapped.

Your first instinct is flight, so you turn around, ready to run, even if you look weird in case those guys weren't planning to do anything with you, just to see other two guys emerging from the other corner, those two almost as tall as that first guy. Aside from the smaller one, they're all broad, even with their thick clothes covering them.

One of them has a cigarette on his mouth, which he throws on the ground when you turn your attention to him. Your fear might have caused you to hallucinate, but you're almost sure he's smirking.

You freeze for a second, your only escape is to run to the side, and pray their long legs don't get to you first. You think you hear one of them start hollering at you.

You only take a step to the side, when a loud crash startles you so hard that you have to look behind, while walking backwards to the street. You take a second to process the sight.

Robin is standing in the middle, just a few steps behind where you were standing a second ago. He's at least half a foot taller than all of them, and a lot broader. He's holding the tall one by his neck with his right hand, repeatedly hitting his head against the car’s window.

You're shell shocked, torn between staying put to watch this disaster, as interesting as a car crash, or running away. Gotham is so big that you never thought you would encounter one of its heroes, you weren't sure if you even wanted to.

When the guy seems to stop moving, Robin throws him against one of the other tall ones, the guy practically flies across 2 meters before hitting him, and when he does, they both fall to the ground. You remember all the times when your ex pushed you to the ground.

Your eyes are wide, horrified, watching the shortest guy take a pocket knife out of his pocket. Your throat locks, even if you want to scream for Robin to turn around, you only manage to stare and stay in place, however, the vigilant turns halfway around just in time to grab the guy by his wrist and his arm, just as he launched to stab him. He uses his body’s impulse to push the guy forward, the knife going to the fourth guy's shoulder, you hadn't even seen him get so close to him.

You look at the man from the car, he's still unconscious, the one who got tackled with him, however, is already standing and walking to the fight.

Everything’s happening too fast, you turn to the side to see the guy with the knife on his back on the ground, groaning and twitching in pain, while Robin is punching the shit out of the other guy, movements faster than you could ever dream of achieving. You remember being on the receiving end of someone's fists before.

With a final elbow to the cheek, the guy stumbles to the ground, you don't know what level of consciousness he’s in, by his posture before, you knew he was already compromised since the first hits he took.

Robin doesn't move, doesn't even turn to look at the guy who just fell, he's just looking forward, and when you notice this, you look at the remaining guy.

He's pointing a gun at him.

You don't think you can watch someone get shot in front of you, and you know if he gets rid of Robin, it's over for you. Logically, you knew these vigilantes somehow never die, still, it's counterintuitive to think he won't.

And he doesn't, in the blink of an eye, Robin's on the air, his right boot kicking the gun away, while still on the air, he wraps his legs around the guy's head, bends backwards, puts his hands on the ground, then launches his whole body to the front, the guy getting thrown over him. He falls to the ground, Robin stands on top of him with perfect balance. You don't even have time to process what just happened, the coolest and scariest thing you saw your whole life, when Robin punches him one last time. Now, he's definitely unconscious.

You’ve felt like a bystander this whole interaction, it felt like ages, but in reality all of this couldn't have taken more than 20 seconds, maybe even less than 15. You don't know what to do now. You're theoretically safe, but Robin’s still too big, too strong, too fast. He knocked out four guys without getting touched a single time. He broke a car's window. He threw around two guys who weighed at least 80kg. He's not even panting. And now he's looking at you.

A whimper gets stuck in your throat. You don't know if you should thank him, stay silent, or yell at him to stay away from you. When he takes a step in your direction, your instincts get the better of you and you turn around, running.

You hear him call your name, although your brain doesn't process it. You see headlights and look towards it. It's a car. You don't trust you’ll get help, but at least you're not alone. You run in it's direction, waving your arms and screaming bloody murder.

The car almost hits you, but you don’t process that until the last minute, but you get tackled to the ground just in time by the hero from before. You scream again, he's too close. Now, he's trying to hold you down. You keep screaming and trying to escape. You look to the side and the car just kept driving away, likely the driver wouldn't stay behind to be another victim to Robin's hands. You know you're not being rational right now, those guys are known for helping people, he just saved you, he's still trying to stop you from getting hurt, but you're scared. You've been scared since you were a teenager.

Your eyes burn, your arms and throat hurt, but adrenaline doesn't let you feel anything. Not even the invasion of a needle on your side.

— Was it really necessary? — Tim deadpans Damian, who growls.

— You would have done the same, Drake.

— No, I wouldn't. You were supposed to use the psychological first aid approach and (Y/N) would've calmed down and trust us more in the future. But of course, you never use your brain. — Damian growls, stepping towards Tim, but he is stopped by Dick’s hand resting on his chest.

— Damian, calm down, Tim’s right. You knew better than to sedate them. You knew of (Y/N)’s trauma and you knew the route we wanted to take. — Damian's brows furrowed and he crossed his arms.

— I knew your feelings toward (Y/N) would make you become impulsive again. — Tim looked at Bruce, who was silent, with hands intertwined and elbows on the table, focused on your vitals on the screen and the sight of you laid on the bed on the medbay. — Will you now consider just letting you, me and Dick keep an eye on them during patrol? — Damian and Jason scoffed.

— Why you aiming at me now? It was the demon who gave that guy brain death! — Jason protested and Tim looked at him.

— Just to be sure you won't freak out like him and kill thrice as many people, on purpose this time. — Jason glared at him.

— B, you better add more security measures around (Y/N), before Timbo tries to clone them or something. — He muttered with snark.

Dick shook his head and sighed, going to stand on Bruce's side, crossing his arms and looking at you through the camera with him.

— What's the plan now, B? They're probably waking up soon. — Bruce hummed, relaxing his stance and resting his back against his chair. The silence lingered for a few seconds, everyone just looking at you, waiting for the oldest’s opinion.

Bruce turned around, looking at them.

— … Damian, Tim's right. You were impulsive today and you killed someone, even if it was an accident. I stopped expecting that from you since you were 12, you're an adult now. You not only broke our trust, but (Y/N)’s already shattered trust. They need to know they're safe with us, and drugging them, instead of puting to use more time and effort to bring the comfort to them, is not going to do that. You weren't much different than the man who hurt them tonight. — His father's words were like a punch to Damian's stomach, leaving him speechless. Dick pursed his lips, not turning around as to make it easier to not comfort his brother just yet. Bruce turned to Tim. — Tim, I understand you want to take measures seriously. But you need to give Jason a chance. That was unasked for. — The mentioned blinked, still unacostummed with the treatment he received from his dad when he followed his rules. Tim looked away. Bruce turned to Damian again. — Damian, no patrolling around (Y/N) until you prove we can trust your temper again. — He waited for a confirmation, which came with a sneered lip.

— Yes, father.

Dick looked back a Bruce.

— What about (Y/N)? — He bit his lips. Bruce hummed, turning to look at the monitor again.

— … What do you all think?

— Well… Damian said their name, they might not remember it, but they can't just wake up at home. They’d try to flee from us. We could bring them home earlier, but our ideal plan was to make them come willingly, in the period of at least two years, in the best case. We could leave them at the hospital, and just keep our plan going. — Dick listed the possible strategies they could take. Bruce hummed.

Tim piped up.

— I already altered their phone's algorithm to send the job application as my assistant at Wayne Enterprises to them. And the Wayne Foundation’s application for the internship at Gotham Uni. — Bruce nodded.

— Damian? What do you understand about that? — It was clearly the beginning of his test.

— The more secure in their independence they feel, the easier it is to heal and open themselves up to new opportunities. — Damian exclaimed with confidence. Bruce nodded.

— Jason, are you still interested in college? — Everyone looked at Jason surprised, he was also surprised, he hadn't talked to Bruce about college since before he died.

It took a few seconds to processes what it would mean.

— Uh… I think so?! — Bruce nodded.

— What about me, father? — Damian spoke inquisitively. — I also want more opportunities to get closer to (Y/N)! — Bruce narrowed his eyes at him.

— We will think about that when you're in the clear.

— But-

— That's final. You reap what you sow. — Damian huffed and nodded begrudgingly. — … Now, since Robin was the one to save them, take the batmobile and leave them in the hospital. Then come straight back home. Understood? — Damian clenched his jaw and nodded silently, leaving to get your unconscious body.

Moments later, when you were both out, on the way to the hospital, Tim fiddled with the computer, the scream showed the batmobile’s tracker, your tracker, Damian's tracker, Damian's contact lenses’s camera and the car’s camera. They all looked at him.

— … It's just to make sure…

Comment, like and reblog 🥰

DC Taglist:

@wandalfnation @vadersassistant @h0rr0r-10ver-69 @hxsun4 @silverklaus @toast-on-dandelioms @bluewillbon @ladyel1x1r3l0p3r

[alexa-fika]

Fists for Family (Rayleigh x gn!child!reader x Shakky)

A/N: Here we go! Originally, this was going to be just Rayleigh with Shakky just having one line or one action, but we need that grandma action. Who do guys want to see interacting with a child next?

Dividers by @saradika

Rayleigh sat in the Shakky’s Rip-off bar, sipping his drink and speaking with his wife, when his attention was pulled away from her to a newcomer.

“Oh Dear, What did you do now?” He asks as he sighs, setting his glass down.

“So-rry Grandpa,” the small child drawls

Rayleigh raises an eyebrow.

“Reader, Did you get into another fight?”

“…yeah,” they mutter.

Rayleigh is quick to give them a quick slap to the back of the head.

“Ow! Grandpa, what was that for! Grandma Grandpa is being mean!”

Rayleigh gives them a hard look.

“To knock some sense into you, you always get in trouble like this, yet you never learn!”

“He’s right, Honey; you’ll get really hurt one day if you keep this up,” Shakky says exhaling the smoke in a thin wisp.

“But Grandpa, Grandma, they deserved it!”

Rayleigh shakes his head, looking at the child.

“It doesn’t matter if they did deserve it! You need to learn self-restraint! You don’t walk around beating people up whenever they wrong you!”

“Why not?!” they yell at him.

Rayleigh delivers a second slap to the back of their head.

“Ow! Grandpa, that really hurts! Grandma!” they call again, hoping she will save them.

She simply gives them a smile and shakes her head, holding the cigarette between her fingers.

“Good! I hope you remember that when you think of getting into another pointless fight for no reason again.”

They pout, rubbing the back of their head.

“I hope that attitude sticks around. Now, what was this fight about hm? Or should I find out later from an angry mob again?”

“That was one time, Grandpa! He was insulting you! And then went crying to his dad, who happened to be the mayor.” The child protests, crossing their arms.

Rayleigh raises an eyebrow.

“What was it this time?” the old man says, waving his previous statement off.

The child fidgets slightly at the question.

“Hm?” Rayleigh presses, clearly noticing the child’s reluctance to answer.

The child mutters something under their breath.

Rayleigh leans in, placing his hands together and resting his elbows on the table as he stares at the child with curious eyes.

“What was that?”

“…they were insulting you again.”

The old man sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“That’s what started this?”

They nod, rubbing their arm nervously

He sighs, motioning Reader to come closer

They step towards him, still avoiding his eyes even as he picks them up, placing them on his lap.

Rayleigh gently puts a hand on their cheek.

“Look at me, reader.”

They glance at him.

“Do not let them get to you, Reader. I am not fragile, and you do not have to defend me every time they make a snide remark.”

“I know, but it’s not fair how they talk about you, Grandpa!”

Rayleigh smiles and hugs them tightly.

“I know it isn’t fair, but you must remember that people like that are not worth your time and energy. Let them babble nonsense about me and come to me with it instead. Do not let their snide remarks get to you, though. Okay..?”

“Good..and promise me you won’t go around hitting people when they say something you don’t like?”

“I’ll try”

“Hm, better than nothing.” The old man sighs and pats their head.

“Now let me see,” Shakky says, gesturing to their arm.

“But it’s gonna hurt!”

Rayleigh sighs and ruffles their hair.

“Stop whining; listen to your Grandmother.”

They groan, showing her their arm where a new cut adorned their skin.

Shakky humed as she examined the cut. It wasn’t a bad one, but it was still enough to require at least some sort of care-taking.

Rayleigh looked back at Reader and spoke softly.

“This is why you shouldn’t just attack people blindly just because you don’t like what they say.”

The woman looked at them for a moment before sighing and picking them up from her husband’s lap.

“You’re coming with me, and we’re going to properly treat that.”

“Rayleigh, could you pass me the rubbing alcohol? It’s on the cabinet over there.”

Rayleigh swiftly stands and walks to the bartender’s side of the bar, opens the cabinet, and grabs a bottle of alcohol, handing it to his wife.

“Here you go.”

“Thank you, Dear”

“Now don’t you worry, Reader, if you behave, then this won’t hurt at all,” she says as she puts her cigarette in her mouth and inhales.

Rayleigh nods and smiles before Shakky starts pouring the alcohol over the cut, and he places a small bandage on it. Reader winces at the pain but tries to remain still.

“There you go, dear. It’s not a big cut, so it will be good as new in a few days, As long as you don’t get into any more fights.” Rayleigh comments

The old man turns to shake a finger at the child sternly, but the scolding is just an act as he tries to hide the soft chuckle.

The child giggles at his grandpa’s antics.

“Thank you, and sorry.”

Rayleigh laughs and ruffles their hair.

“Just don’t let it happen again, sweetheart. I do not enjoy fixing you up after a fight.”

He remembers something and glances toward the child in his wife’s hands.

“So, did you win?”

“Of course I did; I’m your grandchild, after all,” she grins, giving him a peace sign.

He laughs and gives them a quick kiss on the forehead,

“That you are. I expect nothing less from my grandchild.”

Shakky shakes her head with a smile on her face, kissing their forehead as well.

What should I try next? I really like these child!reader scenarios, do you guys like them or would you prefer other scenarios? Romantic maybe? Or maybe platonic friends?

[rendy-a]

I really love your self-aware AU! It's awesome! Would it be okay to request some headcanons (or a snippet of something whatever makes you happiest) for self-aware Riddle and/or Malleus?

Have a great day!

-🍰Anon

I'm glad people are enjoying my AU! Shout out to @writingforatwistedworld, whose own Self-Aware AU inspired my own.

You assumed that everyone who ever played Twisted Wonderland had two things on their isekai bucket list; attending a feast at Scarabia to try Jamil’s cooking and being invited to an Unbirthday Party at Heartslabyul to try a sweet made by Trey.  Now getting invited to a feast at Scarabia was ridiculously easy.  One day you walked up to Kalim and shouted, “Omg, look at that cloud, it totally looks like a pony.  We should have a party.”  Kalim enthusiastically agreed.  You worried a little that Jamil would corner you and chew you out for such blatant manipulation, but luck was with you, and he only gazed at you with interest from across the room.

In fact, so many situations in NRC seemed to just go your way that you wondered if you had some sort of “main character” protection that prevented anything from going really really wrong with your plans.  If that was the case, then you reasoned, you could be bold and try to get the Red Ruler himself to invite you to an Unbirthday Party.  Plus, you’d already tried to hint to Ace and Deuce about it, but Ace would only complain.  “Come on, Prefect, you don’t want to hang out with all those guys.  Isn’t it better when it’s just us alone?” 

You did feel a little guilty about going behind your friend’s backs on this matter.  Especially with how shaky the relationship was between Ace and Riddle, who always seemed locked in some eternal competition over…something…when you were around.  You’d never quite worked that one out.  You suppose there are just nuances to things that the old TWST game couldn’t convey.  You could always feel the tension between them though, whenever you were in the room.  But if you were going to betray friendship for anything, it might as well be cake.

Your opportunity came sooner than you expected.  The very next day, you encountered Riddle carrying a stack of books back to the library.  You felt very much like Azul when you ran up to him and offered to help him carry the load (for a price, ha ha ha) back to the library.  He looks at you startled when you offer but slowly a red tint creeps into his face.  You start to worry if you’ve really messed up and are about to get one of Riddle’s famous outbursts when instead he stammers in agreement.  “I..I don’t really need your assistance.  But…but if you’d like…I’d certainly be glad for YOUR company.”  You give a sigh of relief and accept a portion of the books, you felt like you narrowly avoided a disastrous hit to your plans.

You attempted to chat him up on the way to the library, but each lighthearted question or joke was met with a short and serious response.  You realized that you really didn’t understand Riddle much at all.  It was like there was a difference in status you couldn’t overcome to get to where you were friends.  Even after the Overblot incident (which you very reluctantly took your place in), Riddle seemed to treat you with a nervous reserve.  You felt like it was the sort of relationship you’d have with your boss or a celebrity or something; like he was too afraid to be himself so he kept a façade of formality over all his interactions. 

Even so, when you set the stack of books down on the librarian’s desk, you had really expected a friendly invite to the Unbirthday party next Tuesday.  I mean, come on, you had helped him lug that stack of books all the way here; that had to be worth something, right?  Instead, he merely looked at you and fidgeted nervously still with the slight flush in his cheeks.   You wondered mildly if he was getting sick or even if he could get sick.  Do game characters get sick except for random romance events?  And this wasn’t even that sort of game so maybe no one gets sick here at all.  You tried to remember if any of the NPC’s in your class had ever failed to attend class due to sickness but were roused from your thoughts by a small voice, “I guess I should go then.” 

“NO!” you shouted, the loud sound echoing off the library walls.  You wince at the volume, but Riddle hardly seems to notice, instead he looks at you wide eyed and silently.  Finally, you remind yourself that you have main character energy and boldly grab his hand and announce, “You are looking like you could use some air.  We should take a walk somewhere.”  Then you stride off, forcing him to follow by tugging on his hand.  He follows you and then quickly increases his pace to walk beside you while, surprisingly, increasing the pressure on your hand.  You smile, he probably never had friends to walk with as a child.  It’s been ages since you held hands with your childhood friends for a stroll, but you were happy to humor him.  So, you give him a small smile and ask, “Where should we walk.”

He hesitantly suggests, “The rose maze at Heartslabyul is lovely this time of year.”  You smile at him brightly and say, “What a great suggestion, I’d just LOVE to spend more time with you at Heartslabyul.”  At this, he looks at you with an adorable smile and gives your hand another squeeze.  Then he breathlessly remarks, “Well, well then…shall I lead the way?”  And so he does, taking you deep into the rose maze.  He provides some commentary on certain points of interest (the hedgehog pens, the croquet field) until you arrive at what he announces as the Tea Garden.  Your breath rushes out as you lay eyes on the familiar background from your old game.  If there was ever a place to lay a hint on him, this was it.

“Wow, its so beautiful here,” you begin in mock innocence, “I really wish I had more occasions to come here.”  Riddle looks at you and then seems to get an idea, “Ah yes, yes!  Of course, you should feel free to walk the gardens whenever you like, Prefect.”  Ok, that wasn’t exactly what you were going for; time to hint harder.  “Oh, but I’d be so lonely here by myself.  Maybe, if there was a reason to come here with you.  I confess I’d like to spend more time with you, Riddle,” finishing up your statement with a coy look.  You see him mouth ‘confess’ to himself over and over, while you silently urge him to put it together and invite you to the damn Party already.

“Well…well,” he hesitantly begins, staring deep into your eyes, “if that is how you truly feel, how can I say no?”  You smile radiantly at him, SUCCESS!  Seeing your smile causes him to smile at you in return.  He squeezes your hand once again and says in a much more confident voice, “Yes, well why not?  If this is your choice, then why shouldn’t I ask you to tea?  Would you please join me next week?  We can have tea and I’ll help you study for your history exam.”  ‘Bonus,’ you think as you heartily agree.

Only one thing bothers you when you think back on it later.  Why would you study for your history exam?  That exam was on Monday and the Unbirthday Party was on Tuesday.  It was strange to study for the next exam the very day after taking the previous one.  You just chuckle and chalk it up to being Riddle and his crazy studious nature.

All that night, Riddle lay awake in bed, unable to sleep.  How had this happened?  He hardly knew.  The Player (THE PLAYER) had confessed their love for him and asked to join him on a date.  Now technically, it was against the rules for the inhabitants of Twisted Wonderland to interact with the Player in that way, but this was one rule that even Riddle was willing to break.  He couldn’t wait for Sunday to arrive and your very first date.

You remembered the first day you attended class in Twisted Wonderland.  You’d been wildly excited to attend classes (about magic!) and see all the characters from your favorite game.  That ended at lunch.  You’d been in line, waiting for your turn to buy a sandwich, when you’d heard an unsettling voice behind you, “Hee hee, you’re so short, I’mma call you Shrimpy.”  You’d turned to look over your shoulder carefully and met the mismatched eyes of Floyd Leech.  Only for a moment before he smiled and all your attention belonged to those sharp, pointed teeth.  It was then that you realized the appeal of a character was not the same in a game, where you were safe behind a screen, as it was in real life.  In real life, a dangerous mafioso eel is actually rather intimidating to stand in front of in a line.

For that reason, you feel rather strange about the possibility that you’d one day meet Malleus Draconia.  Before the Floyd incident, you’d been excited to be ‘that student’ the one who wasn’t at all afraid of him and you’d just become super friends right away.  Only, now you wondered if you’d actually cower silently or join the ranks of the many nervous NPC’s that dash out of his way in the hall.  You wonder how much credence to put into the mysterious aura TWST claimed for him to have. 

It remained only a thought in your head until the day you turned a corner in the hall to see the infamous Diasomnia crowd coming down the other end of the hall.  It was immediately obvious that, yes, Malleus had quite the ominous aura.  You might have stood silently in the hall and let him turn toward the third year’s classrooms without saying a word except, you seemed to also have some strange aura as an isekai’d student.  Students backing away from the imposing Diasomnia guards would suddenly become aware of you and stop, unsure of which way to turn.  Before long, the entire hallway was at a stand-still.  The only change was that the Diasomnia students had become aware of you and were watching with keen interest. 

You cursed your fate in TWST, the game seeming to insist that you be the main character in each awkward situation; the decision of how to progress the route entirely left to your own designs.  “Um,” you begin awkwardly, “How wonderful, I had been meaning to talk with you Malleus?” You cringe at how your statement ends up being more of a question than a request.  It has the desired effect though; students look back and forth between you in awe and then quickly empty from the halls.  In a short time, only you and the four students from Diasomnia remain.

Malleus turns curious eyes to you and enquires, “You wished to have words with me, Child of Man?”  Here all your daydreams fall apart; at no time during all your earlier visions of talking to Malleus did you actually plan something to say to him.  You stare at him, wide eyed and then feel your mouth open and were horrified when words emerged, “Gargoyles.  I just love ‘em.”  Malleus’s eyes open wide and then he smiles slightly, putting his hand to his mouth, as though pondering that deep wisdom, “Is that so?”  You nod dumbly, “Oh yeah, I wish there was like a way to learn more about them…” 

The way his eyes lit up in delight erased any uncertainty you had been feeling.  You felt all your misgivings about him evaporate; he wasn’t the fearsome Malleus Draconia, he was your friend Tsunataro!  You smiled at him and the others, genuine warmth creeping into your expression.  Lilia looks back and forth between you and then smiles knowingly, “Well boys, why don’t we just move along and let these two talk, hmm?”  Then he makes shooing motions at Silver and Sebek to herd them down the hall, pausing to give you a wink before following.  You decided that Lilia was as strange in person as he was in the game; who winks at someone the first time you meet? 

You turn your attention back to Malleus and are shocked to find him right at your side.  How can someone that large move so quietly?  You resist the impulse to back up and look up into his eyes instead.  He chuckles, “My, you are a brave one.”  Instead of being offended, he looks rather happy at the prospect.  “Perhaps you are brave enough to join me in Gargoyle Studies club?” he offers with feigned indifference.  You smile up at him and lay a hand on his arm in a friendly fashion, “Of course Malleus, I’d love to join you!” 

He looks startled for a moment, “You know who I am?  And you’d still join me?”  You laugh and think, ‘oh, it’s this plotline.’  So, you sweetly reply, “Of course, I’m not afraid of you at all.”  He smiles in amusement, “No?”  You fluster and start stammering, “No, not at all.  I mean you were my favorite in the game.  I really think you look cool in your dorm uniform and the way you banter at the other dorm leaders is so fun.”  You shake your head in embarrassment and return your eyes to his face only to find him rather shocked.  “Game…” he says slowly, and your eyes go wide; you’d broken the only rule of this world; you’d spoken of the ‘game.’  You were speechless, standing rooted in the hall and no longer feeling like such a main character. 

Finally, Malleus smiles with all his teeth displayed, “Player, how bold of you to speak out.”  You thought he meant to be friendly but suddenly, it seemed rather ominous.  “I…I think I’m not supposed to talk about that.  Can you not tell the others?”  He chuckles deeply and places a hand on your shoulder, “Worry not, dear Player.  This shall be our secret.”  You let out a small sigh of relief, at least this player business wouldn’t be all over the school.  Then he leans closer and whispers, “And you’ll join me in the Gargoyle Studies Club, yes?”  You nod, “Oh yes, I will.  I…I’m looking forward to it?”  You no longer sound confident at all, but his eyes narrow in satisfaction as he allows you to depart.  You do so quickly, wondering if anything bad would come of your misstep.  Surely not, it was only the one time and you’d be sure never to make that same mistake again!

Malleus watches you go with great pleasure.  A secret shared; such things are binding between the two who share it.  As a fae, he knew better than most how such bindings can be made to be more permanent.  Yes, it was true that speaking to the Player in such a manner was taboo.  However, Malleus was a Prince of the Dark Court; what care did he have for taboo?  He’d dare far more to bind the Player to his side.  This, this was just a fortuitous beginning to a very long partnership between you.  He’d make sure of it.

[hopeful-engineer]

🌞 Self-care vs. self-indulgence vs. avoidance

Sometimes it may be a hard to swallow pill, but there's a difference between self-care and self-indulgence:

🍭 self-indulgence: spending too much money on stuff you want, but don't really need, like clothes you'll wear twice and then leave in your closet, where all they do is take up space, books you'll never read, subscriptions you'll forget about

✨ self-care: saving money; planning your budget; buying less, but better quality; thinking twice, before buying something you want, but don't need: "Will I really use it? Do I have enough money to buy it, without worrying, that I won't have enough to buy something more important? I want it now, but will I still want it tomorrow?" (note: I didn't write "don't buy anything except necessities" anywhere. Buy the stuff you want, but do it consciously, plan it and think before buying.)

🍭 self-indulgence: eating fast food and unhealthy snacks; drinking soda pop, energy drinks, tea with a lot of sugar, or too much coffee; adding sugar to everything; drinking too much alcohol

✨ self-care: eating as healthy as possible; learning to cook; avoiding fast food, sweets, potato chips and other unhealthy snacks; reducing your sugar intake; drinking water, fruit juices, tea without added sugar; planning your meals; buying natural food (note: It doesn't mean "never eat anything unhealthy again, never add sugar to anything, never drink alcohol". You can treat yourself with some pizza, or sweets, or beer sometimes, but it should be a treat, not part of your everyday meals.)

🍭 self-indulgence: staying up until 3 AM to watch films/series, play computer games, browse social media, chat with someone, or even to do something, that doesn't involve technology, for example draw or read books; sleeping until 11 AM, because you went to bed too late; sleeping 12 hours at the weekend, because you slept 4 hours a day during the week; hitting the snooze button; laying in the bed for too long after waking up

✨ self-care: fixing your sleep schedule; waking up earlier; going to bed earlier; sleeping 7 to 9 hours every day; avoiding all-nighters; having a fixed wake up time and a fixed bedtime, the same every day, including weekends; getting out of bed immediately when your alarm clock rings (note: I know there are circumstances, that can mąkę having a fixed sleep schedule is impossible, or next to impossible, I also know in some situations it's totally normal to stay up late, like you don't have to leave a party at 9 PM just because you want to stick to your sleep schedule, that would be unreasonable. Do it the best you can under your current life circumstances, and remember, this is about everyday life, not some rare exceptions.)

There's also a difference between self-care and avoidance:

😨 avoidance: staying home all the time; not going to any events, because meeting new people is stressful; always declinig your friends' invitations

✨ self-care: not going to that big, loud party, because it's too overwhelming, but going to a pub with a few friends instead; inviting your friends to your home, when going out feels too stressful; declinig some invitations, when you don't have time and/or energy, but accepting others, when you feel better and have more time; gradually increasing the number of social interactions you have, to be able to meet new people with less stress

😨 avoidance: having no plans for the future; thinking, that there's no point in having any goals in life; telling yourself, that ambitions are generally pointless and hence you don't have to do anything and be good at anything

✨ self-care: having specific, short-term goals and an overall vision od your long-term future; knowing, what you really want to do and what you're good at, and sticking to these things; consciously choosing, what to learn and what to give up on, based on if it's important to you, not to other people; not distracting yourself with too many side plans, when you have one main goal; knowing, what is your passion and what is your ambition; knowing, that you are ambitious mainly for yourself, and only secondly for the society; believing, that you are capable of achieving your goals

😨 avoidance: not studying at all, because it takes time and energy; procrastinating until the last moment before the exam/test/project deadline; always talking the easiest way possible with no ambition beyond barely passing the exam/test; having no plan, no study schedule; never asking for help, even if you're failing, because you think asking for help is a shame, or you're simply too shy; dropping out of school/college because it's stressful

✨ self-care: knowing that you're studying for yourself, your grades don't define you and that real knowledge and skills are more important, than grades; focusing on these topics, that are important to you for your future studies/career, and being the best you can in these areas; being good enough to pass at everything, that isn't important for your future plans; planning your studying and starting early; taking regular breaks to avoid burnout; asking for help if necessary, but trying to do as much as possible and reasonable on your own; acknowledging that, despite the education system being flawed in so many ways, it also gives you many opportunities;

Of course, self-care includes bubble baths, eating cake, listening to your favourite music and slowly drinking tea, while watching the rain outside through the window and letting your thoughts wander, but these aren't only forms od self-care and definetely not the most important ones. Of course, sometimes it includes staying home with your cat instead of going to the party, sleeping in, instead of studying for an exam, because you're exhausted, or giving up on something, instead of trying again and again, but this should happen in some, specific situations, not be your default response. Real self-care should focus on improving your life, not escaping it or avoiding it.

This post doesn't mean, I'm perfect at all of these things. Actually I struggle a lot with many of them. This is a piece of advice for me, too.

[venerawrites]

This is my first time requesting for arcane but, can you write an Ekko x male! reader (fem or Gender neutral is fine if you can't write for male readers) where the reader is really sweet and gentle. They like to forage, bake/cook for Ekko, make toys for the kids of zaun, painting, drawing, and craft stuff like clay rings, mugs, pottery, and make clothes as well.

It can be an imagine or headcanons, I don't mind either way.

author's note: hi! I don't write male readers, but I do write gender-neutral so I hope that's okay! I actually thought this request was super cute and I loved the idea! Hope you enjoy and thank you so much for requesting!

Someone who is sweet and also artistic/crafty is going to be the perfect partner for Ekko. (Not kidding, this young man deserves all the love in the world!)

I imagine you being a part of the Firelights for a few years before Ekko gained the courage to ask you out.

Don't get me wrong, he had a crush on you way before that!

He saw something special in you the day you joined - the way you carried yourself, the little splatter of paint on your shirt, the big bag of art materials you brought with you, the way you warmly smiled at the kids and they took an immediate liking to you - it all made him look at you in a different light from everyone else.

However, having lost so many people in his life, he didn't want to risk catching feelings. So despite the initial attraction, he did keep his distance at first. He was a good leader, always making sure to check on you and ask how are you adjusting to the life as a Firelight, but he also always seemed to keep the conversations short and polite.

Ekko always had his eye on you - whenever he heard your melodic laugh or children screaming in joy (because they always did when you were around), his head whipped in your direction almost instinctively.

Because of your wide range of skills, especially when it comes to crafting things, it didn't take long for you to become everyone's favourite - you often build toys for the kids and played with them in your free time, which is why all of them got attached to you pretty quickly. When someone needed their clothes fixed or wished for a change of their usual 'uniform', they always came to you.

The man was a bit taken aback at first - he kept seeing everyone, including Scar, coming with new jackets, shirts, and even masks, yet he didn't seem to know how and where they got it from. Once he learned it was in fact you making them, he couldn't help but smile - so you were quite the crafty person, huh?

He came a few days later with his ruined jacket (he may or may have not actually ruined it on purpose), asking you to fix it. As he was the leader, you spent all afternoon sewing, so he could have it ready for the mission the next day. When you gave it to him during dinner, he was both surprised and also amazed - not only did you fix it quickly, but you also made it better by adding some details to it.

(Needless to say this became his favourite piece of clothing ever! It was also not the last time he came to you, asking you to 'fix' his clothes...)

That evening was the first time the realisation he might like you in a different way than every other member hit him like a ton of bricks.

And it did scare him! So much, so that he made it almost his mission to avoid you. Every time you entered a room, he quickly excused himself, and if by chance you caught him looking at you, he would quickly turn around, the tips of his ears going a few shades darker.

His plan didn't work that well, however, as you being one of the few people who can draw/paint, you were assigned to work on the wall mural. He had to supervise the work and therefore interact with you, and to be honest, it was quite awkward for a bit.

I imagine you would notice his weird behaviour, but would not address it as you were not sure why he was giving you mixed "hot & cold" signals. You would continue treating him like usual and eventually, after a few days of tense atmosphere between you (and also a bit of 'scolding' from Scar), he would apologize and actually relax around you.

Ekko is funny, loving, protective, kind, passionate, and a man that I cannot imagine anyone NOT falling in love with. So probably it did take you embarrassingly short time to catch feelings for him.

He may be a bit slow when it comes to his own feelings and emotions, but he is very good when it comes to reading everyone else's. So when you made him a special mug for his birthday and gave to him while your face looked like it was about to explode, he put 2+2 together.

This is when flirting Ekko unlocks and - PHEW! - this man has no mercy!

He loves to tease you just so he can see you as a flustered mess. While he is very confident as a leader and fighter, he still think it's unreal that you can catch feelings for someone like him - he comes with so much emotional baggage, that he cannot really understand what do you see in him.

(Not that he is complaining, because once he asks you out and you say 'yes', he doesn't plan to EVER let you go!)

Once you are together, he would always organise fun dates including crafting or making stuff - either he will teach you how to make tech stuff in his workshop or you will teach him how to make clay rings, dishes and pottery.

He loves how gifted you are and would often tease you by asking you: "Is there anything you can’t do?"

Very proud of you and the fact that you are his partner! He usually likes to keep his private matters to himself, but if he has a drink or two, EVERYONE is hearing about how skilled you are, how every body loves you (especially him) and how lucky he is to have you not only in his life, but also living in the Firelight base.

Speaking of living, despite the relationship progressing slowly, he would practically make you move in to his room just a few months after getting together. He loves going to sleep and waking up by his side and while usually you were staying with him only occasionally, he will have a long chat with you of the benefits to share a room.

"C'mon, don't you want to sleep in the leader's bed? Hey, hey, I'm kidding! But seriously, you come here almost every night and I do sleep better when you are by my side, so why not?"

Watching you interact with the kids in the base and even in Zaun has to be his absolute weak spot. He can never hide his smile and dreamy gaze when he watches you giving them new gifts/toys and he falls in love even deeper every time he sees you hug them and stroke their heads lovingly.

His other weak spot has to be your cooking! (The way to a man's heart is through his stomach after all!) He is pretty good cook himself, so dates in the kitchen are a pretty often occurrence for you.

Still, he can never match your skill when it comes to baking and desserts and he loves when you spoil him by making his favourite cakes/sweet food. He loves to watch you cooking, often sitting on the table and quietly sipping his tea, while observing you.

The Firelights love you as a couple and are happy it is you by Ekko's side - he suffered a lot and has been alone the majority of his life, so he deserves all the love and happiness you can offer.

cc artwork: Tekkon Kinkreet

[steviesbicrisis]

The Choice is Yours, Steve Harrington

When Steve Harrington starts getting threatening texts from an unknown number, he tries to take matters into his own hands. Little does he know that every choice he makes could have major consequences. His choices matter, and so do yours. So, what’s it gonna be? (An interactive modern day AU! by @steviesbicrisis and @hairstevington)

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Ugh. Hargrove.

The guy was just - he really sucked, and Steve wished he was fucking gone. Now he was threatening Henderson? No way. Steve was going to settle this once and for all. Billy wasn’t going to mess with him anymore, he’d make sure of it.

Of course, Dustin was at the stupid concert. Steve really wanted to avoid it, but obviously he would do anything to protect his friends. He headed off to the Fairgrounds, practicing his speech to Billy the whole drive.

Listen to me, asshole. You’re gonna stay away from me and you’re definitely gonna stay away from my friends, or else. Got it?

By the time Steve got to the concert, it was winding down. People were pouring into the parking lot and speeding away in their cars. Steve knew that the kids planned on sticking around afterwards in hopes of meeting the band, so he figured they’d still be there.

It was kind of scary, being there alone at night. Robin was around somewhere, though, so that gave him some peace. He could probably just say her name three times and she’d appear beside him.

He continued looking for his friends as the place emptied out, feeling chills down his spine with every passing moment.

And then, he heard Billy’s voice. He sounded angry, as always. Steve followed the voice, puffing his chest out and trying to make himself look as intimidating as possible.

“Hargrove,” he said once he rounded the corner. Billy was alone, and he smiled the moment he realized it was Steve approaching him.

“Harrington!” he cheered wickedly. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” Steve rolled his eyes.

“You’re gonna leave us alone,” Steve demanded. “Me, Dustin, my other friends, all of us.” Billy smiled, fearlessly closing the gap between him and Steve until their faces were inches apart.

“Or what?” Billy teased between gritted teeth. “What are ya gonna do to me, Steve? You think you could take me down?”

Steve swallowed. Something about Billy always brought out his worst, most violent urges. Truthfully, Steve knew he wouldn’t win in a fight with Hargrove, and yet - he threw the first punch.

Steve’s fist clocked into Billy’s jaw. He laughed in response, then tried to hit back, but Steve dodged it. He was doing well at first - keeping up, at least - and then Billy got the upper hand.

Steve fell to the floor. Billy got on top of him. There was punch after punch after punch, and then everything went black.

When Steve came to, his ears were ringing and his head felt like it was going to explode. He’d failed. He’d come here to protect Dustin, and now who knew where he was or if he was safe? Steve sat up, and that’s when he saw that he still wasn’t alone.

Billy was on the floor across from him, sitting up with his back to the wall. He wasn’t moving. Steve couldn’t see much in the dim light, so he used his phone to get a better look.

Oh.

Oh, shit. There was blood everywhere, all stemming from stab wounds to the stomach and cuts on his arms.

Billy was dead.

Steve jumped backwards, falling over and skittering across the floor to get as much distance from the body as possible. This wasn’t happening. No, this wasn’t - who could have done this?

His shaky hand went back to his phone, which he’d dropped on the floor upon his discovery. He picked it up to call the police, because that’s what he knew he was supposed to do next. Even in his shock, he knew that’s what he had to do.

He dialed 9-1-1, and then his phone buzzed.

Same poll on Google Docs

The Choice is Yours, Steve Harrington | Ao3 Next

How to follow the story

[norahastuff]

There’s a lot to like about The Winchesters, but I think one of the reasons it hits so hard for me is that it solves my biggest problem with the finale. Personally, I don’t have a problem with tragic endings. The season 5 finale of Spn has a tragic ending, and I think it’s a wonderful feat of storytelling. Aside from the fact that 15x20 tried to pretend it wasn’t tragic and tried to make it seem like Sam and Dean standing alone on a bridge in Heaven was a happy ending, what I hated most about the finale was they had to flatten Dean into a two-dimensional caricature of himself to do it. Aside from maybe the revelation that Dean stood outside Sam’s apartment at Stanford for hours trying to psych himself up to go in because he was nervous Sam would turn him away, there was no moment in the episode that Dean felt like the complex, nuanced character we had come to know and love over the past 15 seasons. He had no desires or characterisation beyond pie, car and Sammy. There was no sign of all the growth we’ve seen from him, no hint of his own needs, wants or sense of self. I mean, he wasn’t even allowed to interact with his own heaven before Sam showed up. Even after his death, he was never allowed to have anything that was just his. 

Look, I’ve said all this a hundred times before – if you look at my 15x20 tag, it’s basically just this sentiment repeated over and over again – so why am I saying it again now? Well, because The Winchesters is fixing that. The mission Dean is on is all his. It’s not about Sam, or pie or whatever surface level bullshit that finale tried to boil Dean down to. He’s going back to the past, he’s meddling in something insane because he sees value in it, and in the process going on a journey to understand himself better. His narration makes it pretty clear that through this quest he’s learning to contextualise his own life and feelings better. The past presents the future, after all (full disclosure, that’s an Ugly Betty episode title that I just really loved and use far too often in casual conversation), and one of the biggest hang ups in Dean’s life was that he was given this mythologised version of events and expected to believe them. Mary was this perfect saintly mother who sat at home baking cookies all day before she was brutally, and through no fault of her own, ripped away from them. John was the perfect mild-mannered husband and father who only slid into anger and obsession after he lost his perfect wife. 

Eventually Dean realises that none of that is true. Mary couldn’t cook. She was a hunter. She was involved in the circumstances that brought about her own death. She was a complicated person, and in the end he got the chance to see that knowing the real her, flaws and all, was infinitely superior to believing the white-washed fairytale about the perfect martyr that John created after she died. There’s also the fact that John was never the perfect husband or father, even before Mary’s death. We get maybe one reference to that in Spn, how in Dean’s heaven in season 5 he remembers John and Mary fighting and John moving out for a few days, but not much else. The focus is very much on how John turned into a neglectful parent and an angry man after Mary’s death. But The Winchesters is working hard to dispel that lie. John always had this anger in him. Mary even calls him out multiple times on how he’s using her and their relationship as an excuse to avoid his issues. She straight up uses those words. There are also references to how raising your kids to be soldiers and being their drill sergeant rather than their parent is one of the worst things a parent can do to their child. 

Anyway, as interesting as it is to see all these things addressed in the Spn universe, what’s so damn satisfying is seeing Dean realise it. Dean’s on a mission to learn more about his past. To understand that our parents and where we come from shapes and moulds the people we become, but it doesn’t have to define us forever if we don’t let it. By accepting his past and finding out the truth about who his parents truly were, he can accept himself and move forward, free of whatever baggage that had been dragging him down for so much of his life.

And the greatest part about all of this, is that Dean’s the one driving this story. It’s not God, or his father or even his duty to take care of Sam which dictated so much of his life and his choices before. This is about Dean’s choices and who he is as a person and what he wants. It’s funny because as little as we saw John Winchester in season 1 of Spn, he was very much the spectre hanging over the story, and the search to find him is what drove much of the plot throughout the season. Much of what his sons were doing was in reaction to him. And now in The Winchesters, Dean himself is the spectre that’s been hanging over the season. He’s the one making the big moves and steering the action. He’s the one everyone, friend and foe alike, is looking for. He’s the one who gave John the note and put this whole thing into motion. After the ending of Spn took away so much of his agency and everything that makes Dean Dean, he’s finally getting it back and then some.

I’m excited to see how the season’s going to end, but I’ll forever be happy that this show gave us Dean being his own person again. He’s the one picking the music this time.

[trashmouth-richie]

nothing kills you slower than, letting someone go

Eddie x Fem!Reader ; Steve x Fem!Reader

W.C 6k [whoops]

A/N: I’ve had this floating around my brain for weeks, based loosely on the song “Letting Someone Go” by Zach Bryan

TW: underage drinking/ drug use, drug addiction, driving while drinking, mean!Eddie.

💋💋

Searching your bag for the soft pack of cigarettes, you push your way through the heavy metal door leading to the back of Hawkins High.

You needed a cigarette and right the fuck now. This stupid fucking town, stupid fucking people at this asshole school—you had had enough. The heat of the day was at its peak as you made it over to the corner behind the wood shop. Heavily graffitied and coated in butts and ashes, this had been your secret smoke spot for the past few weeks. It wasn’t a picnic bench in the woods where he had brought you years ago, no this spot was yours, since you had broken up last month you had to find more than a few different things to make your own.

You didn’t frequent the Hideout on Tuesday’s anymore; he made sure of that. You dropped out of Hellfire, giving away your dice to Dustin and Mike as a parting gift; the trailer park you had spent so much time in was now filled with the ghosts of memories, and any time you had bumped into Wayne at the grocery store or pumping gas, you smiled shyly and waved. Wondering if Eddie ever told him why you weren’t around anymore. Why you didn’t surprise them anymore on Saturday mornings with almost stale, day old donuts.

This wasn’t a typical breakup, he didn’t have a new girlfriend and you didn’t have a new boyfriend. Eddie had been pushing you away for weeks, unthreaded the strings of your hearts from one another and drifted apart. It wasn’t easy seeing him around school, interacting with your mutual friends who were now only his friends, waving in the hallways to you as a sort of pity, eyes casted downward when they were with him, loyal to their DM.

The sting of the breakup and the events that unfolded that night were still fresh in your mind. The way the rain fell as you fought with him in front of his trailer, both drenched to the core, his curls lengthening from the heaviness of the rain, chin quivering, shoulders sagged. The pitter sound of the drops of rain hitting his leather clad arms. Seeping through the crooks of his rings, threatening to let them slip off his fingers, wetting the tape used to make them a bit smaller.

Exhaling a line of smoke through your mouth you shudder at the memory. You didn’t want to think about that night or even him. Long legs and baggy jeans stroll beside you, you know it’s her before she even says anything, passing her the cigarette you chuckle when her blue fingernails swing down to take it out of your hands.

“I swear Ms. O’Donnell has a stick up her ass.” Robin explains, “I hope her car breaks down on her way home tonight.” She huffs and throws her back against the brick, one foot folded upwards pressed against the wall.

“She does,” you blow a cloud of smoke from your nose, “it’s sideways.”

Robin snorts, smoke escaping her lips as she exhales, “So are we going to Steve’s party tonight or are you going to bail, again?”

Your response comes slower than you had hoped, you really didn’t want to see him there. Usually avoiding any opportunity you could have of running into him.

“It’s been a month,” Robin says softly, treading lightly on the sore subject hoping not to break the ice of your fragile sanity, “besides, he probably won’t even be there.” She was right, he didn’t hangout with that crowd. The hellfire boys wouldn’t be there so why would he?

“I know… I just— if I see him with someone else it would actually kill me.” Robin knows you better than anyone, she knows how hard it has been for you. Moving through the motions of these last few weeks as if they were on film and you were just a bystander. “Three years is a long time to have it just end over an argument.” The first few days of your breakup it was rumored that he was fooling around with Chrissy Cunningham. The thought of that alone was enough to get you to miss school for a week straight. Refusing to leave your bed, holed up around your sheets like a baby being swaddled. The pain was too much. Robin had stopped by multiple times and assured you it wasn’t true. But the idea of him moving on so quickly, hurt.

“It is—you’re right.” Robin says, turning to you resting her head on the wall, “And you have every right to be upset. What he did—I’m still mad at him for the way he treated you in the end.”

“Join the club,” you mutter, wiping a stray hair behind your ear flicking ashes into the wind.

“So why not just get out and have a good time, maybe you’ll meet someone?” Her lips twist into a shit eating grin. You give her a look as if to say, ‘spit it out’, lowering your eyes to her, eyebrows raised. That’s what you loved about Robin, her emotions were worn on her sleeve and she couldn’t hide anything from you, “Okay fine! I’m like 96% sure that Steve has a crush on you, and if you were to tell him that I would deny everything so don’t even try it.”

A year ago, you wouldn’t have hung out with Steve Harrington, but since you and Robin started working with him at Scoops a few months ago, you had all gotten close. The past month you had become a recluse, only agreeing to go to places that you 100% knew Eddie wouldn’t be. Robin was the one who plucked you from your decaying shell, forcing you out into the sun, watering you like a flower watching you blossom.

Maybe getting out there and even putting on a fake smile would work. Maybe bring some happiness back into your life. “Fine, but I’m not drinking that witch's brew shit Vicky makes.”

The party was like any other one at Steve’s. Music flooded the streets, the thumping of REO Speedwagon could be heard from blocks away. Cars lined every square inch of the driveway, and the surrounding side streets. Beer cans were littered in the front yard, a very drunk Jonathan Byers was laying in the cool grass, taking pictures of the sky, red cups surrounding him and puke starting to dry on his denim jacket.

Having taken a few shots at Robin’s house while getting ready, you were already feeling yourself relax a bit as you entered the Harrington house. Steve was wearing sunglasses inside, a cigarette hanging loosely from his lips as his hair moved with the music. Surrounded by people taking long pulls from their cheap beers dancing along to the latest hits.

“Robin, Y/N!” Steve yelled above the crowd. He raises his arms above his head and begins making his way towards you through the maze of drunk underage teens. He sweeps you into a hug, pulling you in close and grinning into your hair, “you made it!”

“There were terms to her coming here ya know,” Robin stated, lifting a beer from a freshman’s hand and claiming it as her own, “no dancing, no drinks made by Vicky and no Eddie Munson lurking around.” A quick glance around calms your nerves seeing that Eddie wasn’t here, the tension in your shoulders subsiding.

“No dancing?” Steve presses, a look of fake shock on his face, “I was just going to put ‘Thriller’ on!” The three of you laugh as you look around the living room. People are packed into every corner, some making out, others swaying like bowling pins after an almost strike— trying like hell to not fall over. “Hey dickwad, put that down!” Steve rushes over to a guy in your grade and as attempting to put a lampshade on his head.

“Just give him a chance,” Robin whispers in your ear, “I’m telling you he’s got it bad, just nervous about if you still have feelings for Eddie.”

You did. You wouldn’t deny that. But those feelings weren’t reciprocated. Not anymore. He had made that clear the night he broke it off. Saying he was going to be too busy for a relationship, that you needed to move on from him, find someone else. He was leaving Hawkins and not returning.

Steve returned with the lampshade, setting it down in the corner as he grabs your hand in his, rubbing your knuckles softly with the pads of his thumbs. “And as for Munson? He won’t be here, I promise.” A smile breaks on his face as he pushes his sunglasses into his hair. “Come on, let’s get you a drink.”

The kitchen is oozing with the smell of spilt beer and strong liquor. The countertops are sticky like candy—a half assed attempt of cleaning has napkins stuck to them like cement. People are crowded around the kitchen island concocting mixed drinks of pop and various liquors, a game of tippy cup is being played in the dining room. “Pick your poison,” Steve says above the crowd, gesturing to the array of drinks on the counter.

“Personally, I wouldn’t touch the punch, Vicky emptied more than half of the liquor cabinet into it. Byers had about three cups and hasn’t been seen since.”

You laugh and a grin spreads across Steve’s face, “we saw him on the way in actually, he’s laying in the front yard, taking pictures of the sky.” You grab a beer off the counter, cracking it open, suds surrounding the aluminum top of the can you slurp them up and tilt it back into your mouth the iced pale ale flowing down your throat like a wheat river. Steve’s eyes haven’t left you since you got here.

“That looks good on you,” he says, taking a sip of his own beer, brown honeyed eyes pouring into yours.

You give him a confused glance, “the beer?”

He laughs and gestures to your lips, “a smile.” Your cheeks heat with a blush, you weren’t good with flirting. You and Eddie had only gotten together because you spun the bottle in his direction that summer night between 8th grade and Freshman year in Namcy Wheeler basements. Steve holds your elbow and looks at you through his lashes. Of course he was good looking, he was tall, hair always perfectly positioned, strong facial features and those dreamy honey eyes could make anyone fall for him. You smile shyly at him and take another sip of your beer. “Wasn’t sure if I’d ever get to see it again,” he whispers into your ear, pulling back closer than he was before.

Steve had known the ins and outs of your breakup just like Robin had. You had spent countless nights sitting on the floor of Scoops sampling the flavors while you delved out the inner workings of why Eddie did what he did. You were heart broken, no other way to say it. And it had hurt Steve to see you so low. You had done your best to avoid Eddie entirely, and Steve would do anything to try to help.

“Yeah,” you say quietly, looking down at your shoes and back up to Steve, “I wasn’t sure either.” Maybe it would be easier to get over Eddie if you just moved on from him, finding comfort in someone else, even if just for a night.

“I, uh— can’t believe he’d be that stupid.” Steve says, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck. Your brows knit slightly together as Steve continues moving a strand of hair from your face, “Eddie I mean. Cause if you were mine, I would never let you go.”

A shy smile tugs at the corner of your mouth as you look up at Steve. Those nights at Scoops had made you all closer, the three of you spilling your guts about relationships gone bad, secret hookups, etc. Not in any of those nights did you put together that Steve liked you more than a friend. Usually you were too busy daydreaming about a time where Eddie was still yours, still the sweet Eddie you had known and fallen in love with. Now he would hold his head high above yours in the hallways, never even glancing your way. You search your mind trying to remember if Steve talked about any girls during that time but you can’t think of any.

“Oh come on Steve, you don’t mean that,” you shake your head, Steve gently placed a finger under your chin positioning your face towards his.

“I mean it,” he says sternly with a hint of softness, “I care about you, a lot.” His eyes show sadness, your stomach flutters at his words. Maybe it’s the alcohol making this easy for you, or maybe it’s the way he’s staring so deep into your soul your whole body is tingling, but you feel safe with Steve. You can’t help yourself when you lean into him, licking your lips slightly and closing your eyes.

“Jesus H. Christ Henderson, why the hell are you making me do this?” Eddie huffs as he jumps out of the van and stomps up the sidewalk to Steve Harrington’s house.

“You’re the one who kept saying you were bored,” Dustin says, “listen I know you’ve never hung out with Steve before, but once you do you’ll see he’s a pretty cool guy.” A mouthful of braces smiles up at him.

Hellfire had ended early since none of the boys could defeat Eddie’s sadistic campaign. They were out of Doritos and Family Video didn’t have any new releases this week. “Yeah I doubt that,” Eddie scowled. He was finding it more and more difficult to be happy this last month. He thought breaking up would push him in the right direction of where he wanted to go, leaving Hawkins for good after graduation, getting a record deal, maybe. But so far all he had was one more failing grade before he was held back, again. He was annoyed beyond belief, hating himself for being so naive.

Agreeing to go with Dustin so he wouldn’t get himself into trouble, Eddie walks faster to the party, his Reeboks squeaking beneath him. Dustin makes it to the door first, “should I take my shoes off or should I leave them on? There aren’t any shoes here, are they somewhere else?”

Eddie chuckles at his younger friend, “keep ‘em on, easier to run if the cops come,” he says, eyes wide to scare Dustin.

“Come on man, don’t say that.” Dustin says, following Eddie as he made his way up the steps to the split level home. Maybe a few beers would help his mood. Not fair to Dustin that he has such a shitty attitude lately, the kid worships Steve so he could hangout for a bit, drink a few beers and then go home. Landing on the top step peering into the kitchen, Eddie stops dead.

Watching your lips move with Steve’s has Eddie feeling sick to his stomach. He’s convinced his heart stops beating. Blood rushing to his cheeks, this shouldn’t hurt the way it does. He had been the one to end it, the one who shoved you away. But you looked so happy with Steve. “Oh shit,” Dustin says behind Eddie’s shoulder, “uhh.. drinks? We need drinks!” Dustin pushes Eddie forward through the kitchen and out to the patio, finding the kegs, he pours two of the worlds foamiest beers and thrusts them into Eddie’s hands. “Here,” he says, raising Eddie’s hand to his mouth to get him to drink, “swear to God that’s not at all what I— ”

“Doesn’t matter,” Eddie says, slamming the beer and refilling it, foamy suds running down his chin, “I’m fine Dustin, really.” His eyes were dark with anger, rubbing his jaw with the heel of his hand he walks back inside the kitchen and grabs the closest bottles of whiskey he can find— noticing you and Steve are now gone— and waltzes back out. Throwing himself into a lawn chair and pressing his lips to the open bottle, stewing in his own misfortunes.

This was his fault, he broke up with you for no particular reason other than his own stupid ideas. You were each other's first kiss, first time, first everything. Of course he wanted to know what it felt like to kiss someone else, feel a body that wasn’t yours. But he had always considered you to be his. Seeing you lip locked with Steve was worse than a punch to the gut. Pull after pull on the bottle of whiskey, Eddie’s eyes got darker, he slumped further into the seat. He had no idea what Dustin had even been saying. The only thing he could focus on was you.

The way your hair smelled like coconuts when you were cuddled up against his chest, wearing his shirt when you slept over. You were his everything back then, he didn’t just love you he admired you, worshipped the ground you walked on. He had been regretting the breakup since it happened, but couldn’t find the heart to tell you that. He saw the way you cowered away from him at school, changing your schedule to avoid any contact at all with him, your locker used to be next to his now it was empty. He fucked up bad, but all he was trying to do was save you.

He stands up, his tall figure swaying slightly with the help of inebriation. He stumbled into the sliding door, face pressed flush with the glass, scanning the kitchen. You still weren’t in sight, but Robin was.

Throwing the door open a little harder than it should have been, it bounces slightly at the force. Eddie climbs in all legs first, “Robin! Robin!” Eddie yells above the crowd, maneuvering around drunk teens.

“Eddie,” Robin spins on her heel, a glare to her blue eyes, “you look— like shit.”

“Aww,” Eddie scoffs, “thought I was your favorite.” He takes a big swig from the whiskey, too drunk to even taste the amber liquid sliding down his throat, the burn barely there.

“You were, until you hurt my best friend, and became a giant dick.”

“Well now that just hurt my feelings Robby.”

“What’s the game here Munson, Vicky’s waiting.”

Swaying more than he would have liked and holding onto the kitchen island Eddie lets his guard down, “where is she?”

“Listen, you weren’t there. You didn’t see the way she trapped herself in her room for a week after you broke her heart. She’s trying to get over you— you can’t just pretend like you’re still her boyfriend.” Robin lights a cigarette and blows smoke directly in Eddie’s face.

“I just wanna talk to her. Tell her congrats, I’m sure she’s happy with the upgrade from Prince of the Trailer Park to King of Hawkins thassall.” He says with a shrug of his broad shoulders, leather creaking with his movements.

“I mean it— leave her alone, you already did it once, shouldn’t be too hard the second time.” Robin ashes her cigarette into a discarded cup and saunters off to find Vicky.

Eddie takes another swig, rolling the liquor around his teeth, before swallowing when he hears it. Your laugh coming from the living room. Long legs moving like he’s on ice skates with the help of the walls bearing the brunt of his body weight, he enters the living room with a frown. You're sitting on Steve’s lap, his face is nuzzled into your hair the same way Eddie’s used to when he surprised you by your lockers. You haven’t noticed him yet. Your eyes are pinched shut and you’re laughing at the way Steve’s fingers dip into your sides tickling you.

Always one for theatrics, Eddie starts to clap.

Steve’s lips are like silk, smooth and warm against yours, the taste of beer mixed with carmex on the tip of your tongue as you drag it across his bottom lip. His hands move into your hair, holding you closer to him as he slots his mouth against yours. Kissing Steve comes naturally, as if you have done this before. For the first time in weeks you feel at peace with the breakup. You hear the sliding door open and close as Steve deepens the kiss, moving his head in a slant to paint your mouth with his tongue. He tastes like cheap beer and a smidge of cigarettes and mint gum. You pull back from him, “whoa.”

“Shit, I’m sorry— just you were leaning in and I thought you wanted me to kiss you—fuck I just messed this up didn’t I?” Steve pushes his fingers into the inner corners of his eyes, you pull his hand away looking confused.

“No,” you giggle, holding Steve’s hand in yours, the other pressed against his chest. “It was good, great even— I haven’t felt like that in weeks,” you admit to him, “don’t apologize.”

A grin tugs at the corners of his mouth as he brings you into a hug, kissing the top of your head and wrapping his large hands around your back, moving them across your shoulders as he ushers you to the living room where Robin and Vicky are dancing. Steve pulls you into the couch with him, whispering into your ear about how pretty you are, how long he has been waiting until you were ready to say anything. The sweet gestures make you blush again and again. When he asks to take you out for a date tomorrow night you tease him.

“I think I’m busy, yeah definitely busy.” A sheepish grin lands on your face and Steve’s face goes from concerned to mocking mad as he tickles your sides you squeal and use his full name as if that were to somehow deter him away from you. A noise is growing louder in the living room and it’s not the music— is someone clapping? You slowly open your eyes and take note of the very drunk barely standing Eddie Munson making his way towards you, eyes black as tar a look of maniacal madness plastered on his face.

“Well well, what do we have here?” Eddie slurs as he steps cautiously towards you. Steve stops tickling you and moves his face away from your hair, you can hear his heart beating against his chest as he moves you off of his lap and onto the couch, protective hands on your legs as puffs out his chest.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, panic rising from your chest.

“Well I just thought I would wish the happy new couple many years of blissful togetherness, looks like I missed the knighting ceremony— sorry about that.”

“Eddie, you’re drunk,” Steve interjects, “let me take you home”

“Not really my type Harrington,” Eddie says, looking only at you, “ ‘m not leaving until she talks to me, alone.”

“Come on, man. You’re making a scene and she’s uncomfortable.” Steve places a hand on your jittering leg squeezing it tight to let you know it’ll be okay, a gesture that Eddie doesn’t miss.

“Oh is she?” A false expression of concern clouds Eddie’s face, “how dare I? Turns out,” he says, inching closer and dropping down to stare into your eyes, your eyes burning from the aroma of whiskey on his breath. “I know how to make her very comfortable when it comes to that, isn’t that right, sweetheart?”

“Fuck you!” You yell, slapping his face.

“Now now sweetheart, poor Steve doesn’t need to hear how vulgar that mouth can get, you usually leave that for a second date at least right?.”

Steve stands from the couch and is toe to toe with Eddie, both fuming. You try to shove your way in between them before they start swinging. Luckily Eddie stumbles backward creating space between them, you turn to Steve just as Dustin runs into the living room, holding Eddie back as he grins wildly, shoving devil horns onto his head and throwing his tongue out.

“I’m gonna go talk to him Steve, he’s clearly just upset, I’ll be okay. I promise.” Steve gives you a look of concern, his eyebrows knitted together.

“Be careful.” He says, eyes glaring into Eddie’s from across the room. You press a kiss into his cheek and squeeze his hand.

“Let’s go,” you scowl, grabbing Eddie by the elbow and dragging him out to the front yard.

“Ow!” Eddie whines, “Christ, cut it out, babe!”

“Okay first and foremost, enough with the pet names, they were cute when we were together but they’re not now, so knock it off.”

Eddie salutes you like a soldier saluting his lieutenant.

“Secondly, what the hell is your problem?”

“My problem?” Eddie preens, “what’s that supposed to mean? I don’t have a problem, I’m just a, a concerned friend is all.”

You scoff, “we are not friends, this is the only conversation we have had since you dumped me that night, and look at us—we’re fighting again! Last I knew you hated my guts, so don’t come at me with this ‘concerned friend’ bullshit because it’s nothing but a fucking lie.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Really? Could have fooled the fuck out of me when you made me quit Hellfire and told me to stop showing up to your shows. You forget they were my friends too! Did you even tell Wayne that we broke up? Cause every time I see him he looks more and more confused as to why I’m not around!”

That hit deep. “It’s not his business who I’m fucking.”

“So that’s all I was to you, huh?” Tongue in your cheek ready to slap his stupid perfect face, “You’re un-fucking-believable!”

“You look good tonight.”

“Shut up Eddie— don’t fucking start with me. I can’t believe you have the nerve to show up here and try to make an ass out of me, in front of my friends!” You poke a finger into his chest and glare up at him.

“Oh, now look who’s all high and mighty, well I’m sorry, your excellency, to interrupt the clever mind of King Steve—but I didn’t come here to fucking win you over. Dustin wanted to be here so I drove him. I didn’t even know you would be here! First person I saw was Steve Harrington and he was all over you. So yeah, it hurt to see you move on with someone else.”

“I’m only doing exactly what you told me to do!” You can’t help the tears from falling, “or did you forget that part?” You close your eyes remembering the way his mouth moved the way the rain fell against his leather jacket, how it felt sticking to your shirt soaking you to the bone. “You were the one who told me to find someone else, so I did, just so happens that you were around to see it happening. We aren’t even dating— that was our first kiss.” You wipe your tears as they fall, pulling away from Eddie as he tries to mimick your motions, his hand falling down to his jeans.

“You fucking think it’s easy for me to see you with him?” Eddie asks, looking at you through his lashes, “I felt like someone shot me in the chest when I watched him kiss you.”

“What did you expect? Me to wait around for you after you basically told me to go fuck myself?” You yank at the hair closest to your scalp, pulling in frustration, “you dumped me Eddie! Not the other way around.” You’re yelling at this point, so beyond pissed off that he’s making this seem like it’s your fault for the way he acted.

“Did you act like it was me? Wish it was my lips on yours instead of him?”

“Grow up, Eddie.”

“Oh come on baby,” his voice dripping seductively, “don’t you remember what it felt like to have my lips on your neck,” he sweeps your hair off your shoulder, “or when I was between your legs, making you come with my t—“

“Don’t— do not finish that sentence! You think insulting me while you’re hammered and a half ass apology is going to fix what you did? Think the fuck again.” You turn on your heel in a huff and try to head back into the house.

“I know your body better than any tweedle dick in Hawkins ever could, sweetheart.”

“God you are so fucking infuriating! Here you are again, acting like I ended this, like I was the one who ripped your heart out that night and stomped all over it. Leaving you to walk home in the rain. I fucking hate you Eddie Munson! I hate everything about you— now leave me the hell alone!” You turn on your heel, huffing as you walk the sloped grassy hill past a blacked out Jonathan Byers.

“Baby please,” Eddie has you by the waist pulling you closer to him. “Please just hear me out, I’m sorry, okay? I fucked up. That’s the only thing I’m good at is fucking everything up. I’m sorry I said those things when we broke up—I’m sorry for being an asshole tonight. I just—seeing you with him, letting you go— is a pain I’ve never felt before. And I’m sure the bottle of whiskey I drank isn’t helping that.”

You fish in your pockets for your keys, realizing Robin drove, “Give me your keys, I’ll drive you home.”

Climbing into the driver's seat of the clunky hunk of metal, you are met with the all too familiar scent of him. The cheap cologne you gifted him for his birthday last year, Marlboro reds, the spice of his deodorant that he kept in the glove box, all hitting you at once. Turning the key you press your foot to the accelerator to give it a little oomf to turn over.

“You gotta give it a little—”

“I know. Not my first time driving it.”

“Sorry, forgot I guess.” The van roars to life and you flick the lights on, Eddie is leaning with his head on the headrest, one long leg thrown across the dash the other stuffed under the glove compartment. You speed down the road, heading towards Forest Hills Trailer Park. Silence is golden but not if you’re Eddie Munson, “remember when you almost fought that guy at The Hideout?”

A chuckle breaks from your lips sighing at the memory, “he was talking shit about Corroded Coffin, specifically you.”

“He was at least 6ft 8, 400 lbs, a fucking caveman,” a smile forms on his mouth, showing his pearly whites, “he could have easily beaten up the entire bar, and you just stood there poking him in the chest giving him an earful.”

“And I’d do it again, too.” you smile widely back at Eddie.

“I fell in love with you that night,” he admits, “I already knew I was but that just put the nail in the coffin for me.”

Your smile fades at the memories of Eddie once being in love with you, being yours.

“Can I ask you something?” He blurts.

“You already did, but go on.”

“Why Harrington?” He’s facing you eyes droopy with drunkenness as he fiddles with a lighter. “Out of all the ass clowns of Hawkins, why him?”

“I told you, we aren’t dating, we just kissed. We got close after the— a month ago, and— why does it matter?”

“Easy..”

“No, I'm being serious. Why does it matter to you that much?”

“There’s road construction up ahead, take it easy!”

“Don’t change the subj— “

“Fuck! Fuck! The bridge is ou—”

Eddie wakes up a week later in the hospital. He suffered a concussion and broke his right femur, 4 broken ribs and a broken nose. His spleen had ruptured as well. Doctors thought he wouldn’t wake up due to the severity of the accident. The first thing he asked about was you. Dustin couldn’t tell him. He tried but when the machines hooked up to Eddie started beeping and he started ripping IV’s out of his arm— the nurses ran in to push more pain meds, making him drowsy again.

It was Wayne who ended up telling him what had happened. The van nose dived into the creek bed, the van’s exterior was nothing compared to the jagged rocks and old slabs of concrete at the bottom. The force of the fall crushed the front of it like a pop can. Ambulance crews from 3 counties came to assist with the crash, nobody on either crew had seen anything like it before. He was lucky to be alive, Wayne had said.

“Wayne— don’t bullshit me, where is she?”

The warble of Wayne’s lower lip was enough answers for Eddie. He shook his head until a headache blurred his vision. He threw anything around him he could get his hands on, ripping every single IV out of his arms, punching the cast on his leg, screaming until his lungs gave out and his ribs ached even more. He was sedated. Sent to the psych ward where he was kept on an involuntary 72 hour hold. Refusing to eat, refusing to talk to anyone. He was released into Wayne’s care. Roane County Hospital was thankful to get rid of him.

The Hellfire boys visited, each giving their condolences. Heads hung low like the dwarfs from Snow White after she bites the poisoned apple and is in a death/sleep limbo. Robin and Steve came next, offering to take Eddie to see your headstone. The ride home was quiet as Eddie’s tears fell silently. A red eyed Robin rubbed Steve’s back as he put his head in his hands. “I’m sorry.” Eddie finally said, “I didn’t mean for this to happen, I— ” his voice breaks as he clutches for sanity.

“It’s not your fault,” Steve muffled through his hands, “it was an accident Eddie, could have happened to any of us.”

Eddie’s grief wore him down, he barely left his room, his senior year came and went, returning to school was too much for him, the anxiety creeping through his veins surging panic anytime he was somewhere you would have been, should have been. If only he had drove that night, maybe he would have been dead instead of you. He would gladly take your place, nothing here for him, you had friends, family.

He found the only solace he could.

“I don’t usually make house calls but I guess I’ll do it for you Munson,” Rick croaked into the phone.

The high was fast, his breathing evened and he fell asleep quickly. The addiction was even faster, hitting him like a freight train against the rails, he was a shell of his former self.

One night it went too far.

The taste of grease coated fingers in his mouth jars his eyes awake, vomit fills his mouth as he hurls all over the shower. The beads of water beating down on his chest as Wayne places his fingers into his mouth again, making him puke again and again, the long coiled cord of the telephone dragging and bouncing across the bathroom linoleum as Wayne holds the receiver with his shoulder wedged against his ear.

That was eight years ago. A night that scared the absolute shit out of Wayne Munson and aged him at least 15 years. Eddie had been sober since that day, making a vow to himself and to you to live for the both of you. He did escape Hawkins, taking Corroded Coffin to the top of the billboard charts, and making Wayne quit that God awful factory job and go on tour with him, never to lift a finger for anyone but himself again. Tonight was the anniversary of your death. Corroded Coffin was performing a memorial show in your honor at the Hideout.

Eddie addresses the crowd, “this is for the sweetest girl I’ve ever known, she’s gone but never forgotten, living on through the people who knew her and loved her…” a teary eyed Steve wipes his eyes beneath his glasses, holding Nancy tight against him, resting his head atop of hers. “…sweetheart, this is for you.”

[loveandmurders]

Ghostface’s fan#1 (Part IV)

Hello everyone! This is the last part (except if you request for more) for this Billy Loomis x female reader x Stu Matcher series. If you haven’t read it yet, you can find part I here .

Hope you’ll enjoy this as much as the others parts.

Female reader but no physical description.

Warnings : Bullies, very very very morally grey reader, mentions of blood, murders, revenge, mention of sexual desire, one or two strong words

You would be lying if you had said you hadn’t noticed Billy was hurt on his shoulder, the same way Ghostface was. You had seen how he had tried to not flinch when a girl had playfully hit him. You were watching their interaction from a tree, not impressed and not happy, but you weren’t allowed to be jealous. Plus you knew you should come back home to avoid your bullies at all cost - which you had been good at today - but when you had seen Billy talking to that girl, you just couldn’t stop yourself from stalking them.

“You really like to observe” a voice startled you and you looked back at Stu who sent you the same cheeky smile he did the day before. It was strange to see him and to know who he was for you. He tried to follow where you looked before arching an eyebrow. “Jealous?” he teased and you scoffed as he added: “Didn’t know you also were into Billy? I mean who isn’t?” he chuckled

“Oh so you’re into him?” you teased right back and Stu rolled his eyes but didn’t deny. Your eyes went back to Billy and the girl.

“You heard?” he asked suddenly, trying to get your attention back on him

“What?” you asked and looked at him

“Ghostface got hurt last night” he said, waiting for your reaction

“Are you obsessed with Ghostface or something?” you hummed back “But yeah, I heard.” you added and you so wanted to say Just like Billy is but you needed to be better than that.

“I’m not, you just seemed to like them last time we talked” he replied and you let out an amused smile. Did Stu think he was being subtle at this moment, because he really wasn’t, but you weren’t surprised. Puppy was always a bit too much, not that you minded. You were about to open your mouth to snarky reply when you caught a glance of your bullies. They clearly saw you and were now walking to you with mean smiles on their faces.

“Shit” you mumbled to yourself and were quick to grab your bag to leave but Stu gently caught your arm.

“What’s wrong?” he asked and you could see genuine concern in his eyes. He looked behind him and saw a group of three boys coming closer. “Are they harassing you?” he asked and you knew you shouldn’t but you felt ashamed. You looked away.

“It’s fine, just let me go” you said but there was no way Stu could let you dismiss the situation like that.

“Let me bring you home” he offered and before you could refuse he added: “Billy has a car, let me borrow the keys”

“Ok” was all you found to say, and you let Stu drag you closer to Billy who seemed pretty annoyed with the girl who was talking to him. He arched an eyebrow at Stu before frowning when he saw you were following.

“I need your keys” Stu said 

“What for?” Billy hummed

“The girl needs a ride” he replied and pointed at you

“It’s fine, if you don’t want” you quickly added as you sent a glance at the group who had stopped because they were too cowardly to attack you in front of so many people, including two boys. Billy followed your line of vision, but he kept his anger silent. Those people really had to die soon. He wasn’t too keen on leaving you alone with Stu though, knowing how his boyfriend could have absolutely zero self control when it was about you.

“Alright” Billy said “but I drive.” he added and Stu almost pouted. “Need to go” Billy dismissed the girl before walking closer to you. You nibbled your bottom lip before following him. Stu stayed by your side as the three of you fell silent. You sent a little glance past your shoulder and you were relieved to see how pissed the group of boys seemed. You entered the car and leaned against the seat. You closed your eyes for a few seconds.

“Thank you for that, you didn’t have to” you told both the boys. Billy only shrugged but Stu gave you his best smile.

“Anytime” he hummed and you smiled back. “Do they hurt you often?” he asked, growing serious again

“Oh, they never beat me, but they often steal my lunch or say stuff to scare me or make me feel unsafe and threatened,” you replied. “It doesn’t usually work that well, but I don’t know, it felt different today, it felt like they had a plan about me. And it was better for me to stay away from them” you babbled. You noticed the look Stu and Billy exchanged but you didn’t say anything, no matter how much you wanted to remind Billy his shoulder was hurt and that he needed to be careful.

“Oh where do you live, by the way?” Billy asked, remembering just in time he wasn’t supposed to know where he had to drive. You gave him the address as you played with your fingers, feeling a bit awkward to be around them without the masks and them not knowing you knew their identities.

“You said you were seeing someone, maybe you should talk to them about it” Stu commented after a little while and Billy sent him a very unimpressed look.

“What for? For them to beat the shit out of those guys?” you asked before sighting “I hate that, you know.”

“What? Violence?” Stu asked again and you let out a little laugh

“No, not that. I wouldn’t enjoy horror movies otherwise. It’s just… It would be better if I could take care of the matter in my own hands, you see.” you tried to explain

“Great plan, like that you can give them the satisfaction to get into trouble when they are the bullies” Billy replied, unimpressed with you as well. He really was dating two idiots.

“No, no. I mean like Ghostface” you said and the two boys sent you a look and tensed a little with something like excitement. If you wanted to be part of the game, it would make things a lot easier for them to manage.

“How so?”

“Well it must be so much easier when you are wearing a mask; you can kill whoever you want. Ghostface can have all the fun they want and the police can’t catch them” you continued before biting your lips. “Probably shouldn’t say that kind of thing but…” you stopped yourself before spilling out you knew who they were.

“But?” Billy asked as he parked in front of your house and he fully turned toward you, but clearly had forgotten about his shoulder because he slightly frowned in pain.

“Nothing, it’s fine. Thanks again for the ride” you smiled and you were quick to leave the car before you could say something stupid or before one of the boys could stop you. 

You ran back home and locked the door behind yourself. You walked upstairs and settled into your room, sitting on the floor and trying to think hard about what to do. Your head was swirling with ideas and you thought you were going crazy. You needed to do something to make you forget about all of this. You saw the blood on your floor and you thought you needed to clean this up. It would be a nice distraction.

You cleaned up your room and bathroom, before you reached for Ghostface’s costume. You cleaned it as well and sewed it where the knife had pierced the tissue, at the shoulder. Your mind had quietened down the instant you had taken the Ghostface’s outfit in your hands and you relaxed. Without even realising it, once you were done, you placed the costume in front of you, as you watched yourself in the mirror. You nibbled on your lips as you grabbed the mask and placed it over your head as well. You liked what you were seeing a lot more than you had thought you would.

And it hit you: you had been obsessed about Ghostface because it was who you wanted to be in the deepest of your soul. Tonight, you would be the one to kill your bullies.

You knew where they lived and you knew their habits because they were loud when they talked together. Every Friday night, they met at the house of their leader, because his parents weren’t back from work until very late in the night. And luckily, today was Friday. You waited for the darkness to fully engulf the streets before finding your way to their place. You came inside the house, like a dark shadow. It was quite easy because those boys never locked the door up; that way they could come and leave whenever they wanted.

You were quiet and holding your knife with so much strength, it was almost painful. But you loved that kind of pain. You could barely realise what you were doing, but you needed to. And you also needed to scare those pieces of shit like they did with you; you wanted to play a little before killing them. You locked the front and back doors, before settling upstairs. You looked around, for an idea as you didn’t plan any of this. You were quite happy when you found a phone of one of the boys, left on the bed. You grabbed it and called the number of the house landline phone, and it rang downstairs right away. They all groaned, but the leader thought it might be his parents so he picked up the phone.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t forget to lock your door and put the alarm on” you said, using the voice transformer. You couldn’t stop yourself from smiling under the mask; the power you felt in that instant was the best thing ever, even better than an orgasm.

“Who… Who is this?” he asked and you could hear he was shared between fear and anger at being played that way. You loved it

“Come upstairs and you’ll find out” you teased

“Shut up, weirdo” he said and hung up. But you called again and he couldn’t stop himself from picking up the phone again.

“You hang up on me again and I’ll gut you like a fish” you groaned and you heard how the group felt silent downstairs, probably because they saw fear on the boy’s face at such violent words.

“Ok that’s enough, you said you were in the house, I’m gonna find you and beat you, asshole!” the boy said and you only laughed.

You waited for him to come, hidden behind the bedroom door like Billy did with you the first time he came to your place. He came upstairs, so confident he wouldn’t find anyone or that he could deal with anyone because he was tall and strong. The two others waited downstairs, still thinking it was just a bad joke. The bully came into the bedroom, looking around and he heard a faint noise behind him.

“Who’s there?” he asked and you stepped closer to press the knife against his throat

“Never say ‘who’s there?’, don’t you watch scary movies?” you chuckled before slicing him open. He didn’t even have the time to react, that he was already choking on his own blood, falling on his knees in front of you. You waved at him a little goodbye, watching the scene with dark eyes of insanity. You let him painfully die before reaching for his phone and you called one of the remaining boys downstairs. He picked up right away.

“Nate? Why are you calling?”

“Oh it’s not Nate, he isn’t unvailable anymore” you hummed “Maybe you should come join him” you smirked before hanging up. 

Of course, they all instantly panicked and tried to open the front door that was locked. You realised how easy it was to kill when people were scared. They called 911, but you knew they were known for their stupid jokes, and the police might recognise their number and not believe them. And even if they did, you didn’t need a lot of time to slaughter them all. You lured one of your victims in the kitchen to stab him over and over again in the stomach and chest before jumping on the last one. You took your sweet time to make him bleed and hurt him so deliciously.

Once you were done, covered in their blood, you couldn’t express how good, powerful and free you felt. You were like a goddess of chaos and darkness. It was the best experience of your life and you wanted more. Ghostface was part of who you were now and forever.

“Who the fuck are you?” a voice asked you and you got startled. You turned around and you were facing two very confused Ghostfaces, even though you couldn’t see their faces behind the mask. You looked at each other for a while before you removed the mask and showed your face to Billy and Stu.

“Sorry, I said I was going to clean up your outfit, but I put more blood on it” you softly apologised but the glimmer in the eyes was clearly the hottest thing the two boys ever saw in their existence. You were perfect to them, and there was no way they would ever let you go after that. Your trio was settled.

“You’ve beaten us to our game” Stu pouted but he was turned on and you knew it, you could feel it in the way they were looking at you.

“Maybe we should go back to my place before we get caught” you said and they nodded, the two of them quickly grabbing you because they had the crazy urge to touch you. If they could, they would have made love to you right there.

You were quick to arrive at your house, as it was quite close by and there was no one in the streets at this late hour of the night, especially because everyone was so scared to meet Ghostface and got killed.

“We wondered where you were when we stopped by and didn’t find you” Billy said and you smiled as you closed the door behind the three of you.

“You shouldn’t have come, Billy, you could have hurt your shoulder even more” you replied and the boys stared at you, taken aback.

“What did you call me?” Billy asked and you arched an eyebrow at him.

“Oh come on, I saw earlier how you flinched when that girl touched your shoulder and why Ghostface would suddenly decide to pay a visit to my bullies when I never talked about them to you guys.” you teased “Plus, Stu isn’t the most subtle guy on this planet” you chuckled as you turned your attention toward him. He shrugged and removed his mask, revealing his face.

“Fair enough” he smiled and Billy sighted before doing the same.

“Guess it’ll be easier to take a shower with you now” he smirked and you seductively removed your Ghostface’s costume under their very attentive gaze.

You knew you weren’t going to sleep a lot that night, not that either of you minded.

Taglist:

@erasable-mustache  

@feathery-ass

@g0thl3zz  

@dazeddance  

@marli-lavellan  

@wileywigginslover  

@agustdeeyaa  

@emilygreenleaf3333  

[sinfulequity]

There’s one thing I’d like to note about Amane’s thumbnail, outside of the confetti (+ the thread wrapped around the pole, as @gunsli-01 pointed out) being colours associated with the cult. And it’s something that everyone else has noticed; the lack of any other colour.

Gunsli, a friend of ours and I was talking about it and I remembered that colour deprivation was a form of torture. Or, to use another name for it,

White torture!

“Electroshock, waterboarding, and a thrashing- These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little girl- But the cult accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction White Torture!” - Gunsli (This is a joke.)

For those unfamiliar, white torture is comprised of denying the victim any sensations, slowly eroding at their mental state and their sense of self until they break. Though, to use better descriptions (which, again, thanks to Gunsli for finding and formatting some of these for me)-

The prisoner is locked in a completely white, soundproof room. The color white is used to hit all the senses:   The sight: White lights are coming from neon tubes positioned in a way not to create any shadow, and the prisoner is dressed in completely white clothes.   Hearing: The room is soundproof or alternatively it is located in a remote place where voices cannot be heard. In this latter scenario the guards stand in silence and use special padded shoes in order to avoid causing any noise.   Tact: All surfaces are smooth   The taste and smell: Each day they are served white food, usually unseasoned rice to deprive them of the senses of taste and smell. Although it may seem less formidable than other corporal punishment, this torture leads quickly to hallucinations and has long-term adverse effects. The prisoners can be kept in this state for months or even years, and once outside the room the psychological consequences will be permanent.

All in all, it can be emotionally devastating at best, and definitely not something people would expect a 12-year-old to be put through. This form of torture would propagate the kind of mentality that the cult would want in Amane. It would not only shake her faith in her own perceptions of reality but create a vulnerability in her. They can then exploit this to strengthen her faith and commitment to their cause. Or to use marketing ideas, creating a need for the product they’re selling; albeit, more proactively.

“Oh, yeah the reason that the pipe/baton may have the thread around it is because white torture involves the removal of textile sensations as well as color. Guards even wear padded shoes so the prisoners can’t even hear their footsteps. The fact that the thread is not only colored but a textile sensation may allude to Amane adding it for comfort or so the baton had some physical sensation.” - Gunsli

I wanted to touch on this comment here, in conjunction with the thread colour.

With the idea of white torture in mind, I believe that there’s a chance the member that represented Green(Gachata) was the one who directly inflicted this on her. However, I’d like to explore all the possible interpretations. Before that though- There’s another thing to note, the member represented by Yellow(Yuri) has the most “conventional” form of punishment out of everyone here. That, including the fact that Yuri is the one that looks the most upset about having to punish Amane,

could indicate that he did try to provide support while the punishments went on. Hence her usage of yellow as the only tactile thing in her thumbnail. To be more specific, the only tactile thing that she had some sort of agency interacting with. Though you could also argue that, since his punishment was physical beatings, that it was the only one with heavy/hard physical contact. Especially when taking into account the other punishments were electroshock, waterboarding and white torture. All things that can involve minimal or no contact with the victim.

Something else to note, is while Yuri and Gachata have secondary colours (Yuri having a splodge of green and Gachata having red highlights), Red (Riyone) and Blue(Gozake) do not. That, included with Amane having all of their colours on her, would indicate the influence that each member has on the other. In other words, Amane was influenced by everyone. Yuri was influenced by Gachata. Gachata was influenced by Riyone, and Riyone and Gozake weren’t influenced by anyone. Incidentally, Amane’s “wings” are also the softer pink on Riyone’s outfit, despite the fact that she already has the more vivid red.

On the colour sharing thought, Gunsli pointed out that it might be how each member is connected to each other (i.e. Gachata being Riyone’s kid and having pulled Yuri into their association). Going off of the colors alone she speculated that Riyone was possibly Amane's mom and Gatchata her older brother. Yuri is more than likely a friend of Gatchata's or someone they met and brought into the cult and Gozake a higher up within the cult that works alongside Riyone. (Possibly even a second husband but she said that's just an assumption.)

However, she does disagree with me in regards to who enforced white torture. Gunsli feels as though it would make more sense for Riyone to be the one to do so, since she’s already associated with light. This, in conjunction with the pink on Amane and how it’s hidden under the white of her outfit until the “transformation” scene, makes a more cohesive narrative. There’s also the fact that there’s no pink confetti depicted within the thumbnail. Secondarily, while Riyone’s colour is red, with pink highlights, she is mostly depicted in white. With pink, red and grey highlights, in order of how frequently they show up in her design.

Another possibility is that Amane was consistently being punished through the use of white torture, and each member’s punishment was an intentional breakage of that. This would make Gachata’s punishment more likely to be something like sound torture. If it was done this way, it would subconsciously reinforce the idea that the only people who contribute to her sense of self are the other members of the cult, while also amplifying the impact of their actions being a punishment for her transgressions.

The cycle of punishments starts with Riyone. She either uses light torture or electroshock. The main colours depicting her form of punishment is a luminous yellow with a backdrop of a duller yellow. We’ll get back to this, but this seems to represent her specific type of punishment. Her expression changes from when they found Amane, being at peace/harmony as opposed to the dead eyed stare that was given before. This is a tad unnerving, since out of the four, this is the expression closest to happiness we see in this loop.

Secondly, we have Gozake. He appears to have picked waterboarding as his style of punishment, though we are unsure which form. The main colours that appear here are various shades of blue, save the bubbles that have highlights of white. This makes it possible that he was acting on his own ideologies. His expression on this scene is also different from the discovery scene, which appears to be more upset/disheartened. Though I do have to state the caveat that his expression is a lot harder to read since we don’t see his mouth in either expression. It would be interesting to find out how much context would be changed if we see his mouth.

Thirdly, we have Yuri. He goes for a simple pummeling for his punishment. The colours used for the physical effects here are some small yellow ones and a large overall pink one. This likely indicates that Riyone suggested this punishment to Yuri, and that Yuri is following Riyone’s ideology with regards to this punishment. This doesn’t stop him from looking upset and uncomfortable, however. This is an expression that stays consistent from the discovery to the actual consequences; the only one to do so out of the whole group.

Lastly is Gachata, who seems to have used sound torture. The colours used for the sound effects are red and green, in the order of how frequently they are used. Though I believe it should be noted that the green ones are closest to Amane’s body. It is extremely likely that Riyone also suggested this for Gachata to use. His eyes are closed,  and he looks like he’s either concentrating on his actions or trying not to focus on the implications of what he’s doing. Another thing to note is the fact that he has the same expression as Riyone in the discovery scene (a dead-eyed stare), though it is undercut by the glasses he wears.

(To add on the idea that Yuri and Gachata were unwilling participants, Gunsli wanted to point out how Amane was punished by them as a group of three.

As you can see, here Gachata flicks her on the forehead as a punishment instead. And while the background is the same yellow that's used in association with Riyone's punishment, the actual impact is more of a light blue. This is a blue that is associated with Amane. Both in her prison straps and on her birthday art. It is then followed up with all of them hanging out happily-

"Will you laugh with me and forgive me? I promise! I can only become a better girl!"

-until Riyone and Gozake show up.

Incidentally, as Gunsli spotted, while Riyone is looking at Amane. Gozake is looking at Riyone, as if awaiting orders.)

In the Magic MV, it loops through this cycle of punishment five times, though the last two are zoomed in on Amane. From what Gunsli and I put together, the most likely option is that the punishment escalated until reaching white torture. This seems to be depicted by this scene-

Along with the line that leads up to this scene,

"Only if, only if, only if I could be a good girl. I hope, I hope everyone can be happy and smile. Forever, forever together would be a dream."

As you may have realized, the black is used as the main backdrop for Amane’s punishments, so the fact that she’s shown isolated, save for a single spotlight is… telling. And even after she transforms, to the joy of everyone, the stage is still a solid black, denoting the place she’s standing currently is a place of punishment.

Gunsli would also like to note that it's interesting that when the punishment ends, there's a lightning strike (also known as natural electricity) behind Amane and she is bestowed a lightning wand. The element related to Riyone's punishments. This, in addition the full reveal of pink on Amane, also makes this scene come off as a passing of the baton of sorts. Possibly showcasing that Amane may now have the power to punish people with her wand/lightning rod and the ideology of Riyone acts as her "wings", carrying her higher up the ranks.

After that it departs from chibi to the regular style. Amane waves her wand, background transitioning via star wipe into a blue, before walking out of it, the stage returning back to normal. This is likely meant to represent her leaving the white torture room. Again, this is a similar blue to her birthday art and prisoner strap. The stars, on the other hand, resemble the luminous yellow in Riyone's punishment. Stars are also a natural form of light, one of the possible methods of reprimanding Riyone used. Another important detail is that in this scene, the white on Amane's clothes gets illuminated, washing out everything else.

After that, she blows a kiss at the viewer, joining hands with the other members before the credits roll-

-before it glitches out, reflected in Amane’s eyes. However, the only thing reflected is the empty stage, the cult’s symbol on full display.

Closing Notes:

It very much appears that Amane has undergone several forms of torture as a punishment. Not to mention that, if we're right, this was coordinated by her mother. It would be a good idea to keep this in mind, especially since Amane has likely been re-traumatized due to the voices the guilty prisoners have been hearing.

“How about we not continue to torture the literal torture victim this round. That'd be great.” - Gunsli

As for me, I agree with Gunsli. Amane’s been through enough, as is.

[sleepy-aletheas]

Alhaitham and the eternal misconception of his relationship to knowledge (and life)

This truly is gonna be the hill I'll die on, huh. Long post incoming I guess.

Listening to Alhaitham's voice lines, it's fascinating how he manages being perceived as callous and seeing everyone else beneath himself for not being smart enough or being overly emotional to his standards, when that's not even his view of others or what he values.

Sure, he's blunt, he doesn't enjoy engaging with others, he wants to solve problems in the most efficient way so that he can go and live his life in peace, even if it comes off as him being lazy.

Of course, this type of approach on life makes many people uncomfortable. Be it for being raised to toe unsaid lines for the sake of politeness; feeling it as a personal dig at themselves for being someone that tries to go out of their way to help others; or just working oneself to the bone to achieve their goals and then seeing someone do everything with minimal effort just to "laze around".

From an outside perspective, the misunderstanding of such a character makes sense. When others exchange pleasantries and ask if they should help, and always smile and have a more friendlier approach, anyone not doing that seems rude, cold, sometimes even hostile.

And Alhaitham uses this misconception to his own benefit, to be left alone and avoid unnecessary social interactions. But that's besides the point.

It's hard to get past his walls of privacy, but we can know more about Alhaitham from the crumbs left around. Sure, there is more in the quests (be it the main archon quest, his own, Cyno's second story, Kaveh's hangout) or events (Parade of Providence, or the latest An Odd Textual Mystery), but even if we only get little tidbits we're allowed to find out through the voice lines, it's still enough to disprove this mischaracterization.

It's easy to take his dismissal of others and having his nose eternally buried in books as a superiority complex, where he holds his vast knowledge above the heads of others, and views them as lesser. But it's a combination of a few things that make this misconception (and by an unfortunate result, mischaracterization) possible.

A big part is The Project he had with Kaveh and some other students during their Akademiya days, where he didn't go out of his way to help or do the workload of others, and instead let them drop out of the project to do their own thing. It was one of the reasons they fought so much - the perception that Alhaitham didn't want to help anyone, because they were lesser in intellect than him, so they weren't even worth helping. It didn't help, that he made a distinction between him, Kaveh, and the others - he and Kaveh were geniuses, and the others couldn't naturally keep up. Nothing more, nothing less. Is it a harsh thing to point out? Yes. It makes people feel self-conscious, dumb, undervalued, and Akademiya students would absolutely feel it hit their pride.

But if we take a step back, and look at what he says, it's clear he didn't think lesser of them as individuals, because it didn't make sense to him that they would drag themselves through this exhausting process they didn't have the will to follow through, the stamina to keep up and not make it a harder ordeal than necessary, or even having any enjoyment out of it. The only positive thing this project could give the other students was a good collaboration that helped with their grades and graduation, but the toll it would take on them could burn them out for years if not turn them off from seeking knowledge altogether, because they exhausted themselves, when there were other (and better) ways they could reach satisfaction and not hurt themselves. In his selfish little way of wanting to work in peace and not shoulder the responsibilities and faults of others, he might have been the thing that saved some academic enjoyment for them before it was too late.

And this line of thinking goes into the present as the Akademiya's scribe. Is he harsh with the applications? Sure, he doesn't let anything subpar slip through the cracks if he can help it, because that's his job. If the scholars don't even try to make a decent request with no spelling errors or other faults, why would he bother with it? They can do better, even for something as little as this (of course, we get to know from NPCs how stressful the whole academic process is, how much it can burden someone, and how it can feel unfair that their hard work can be rejected just like that; but Alhaitam pretty much just refuses the poorly written applications, so it's all about rewriting the request, not the work itself).

Which just winds back into the belief that he sees himself on a pedestal above everyone else. And it's funny, because he does think a lot of the scholars are dumb, but not because they're lacking or not deserving education, but because a lot of them see themselves as superior to others (mostly to those who don't go to the Akademiya or who are artists), and the ones that are lazy and rely purely on book smarts they most likely won't even understand if it had to be applied irl. He's pretty much laughing at the ones that talk big game and then fall on their faces, not at the ones that try their hardest, or are average, or who don't care for academics and live their lives out of that sphere at all.

If anything, he values when people know their strengths and weaknesses, and don't try to make their lives harder by being someone they're not (we can see it in his voice lines about Dehya and Nilou, where he holds respect for them and their ways of living). And in his voice like "Something to Share", he himself doesn't think knowledge is a 'be all, end all' of humanity, and that there are other ways to be fulfilled in life (the voice line is: "Truth serves no master. Humankind is not a vehicle for knowledge, nor is knowledge the aim of humankind." and I guess that's why Nahida doesn't think he's wise, because she views knowledge/wisdom and the relationship of humanity to it differently than he does).

And that just brings us back to the beginning, where people see him as rude and self-centered...which yeah, he is the later. But that's not an inherently bad thing. He doesn't see the point of being needlessly friendly or lie to be perceived that way, so he doesn't do that. He doesn't seek the company of others, because it's not his core need, so he doesn't do that. He doesn't like to use rhetoric, because the truth is important to him, so he doesn't do that. He just wants to live a peaceful life with the least amount of conflict, and in his voice line 'Alhaitham's Troubles' he explains: "Based on my observations, many people inflict trouble upon themselves. Life already has enough hardships — no need to add to them." so of course he will try to avoid unnecessary strife when he can, and so he doesn't do that.

He is steadfast in his beliefs, and respects others who do the same, because in his voice line 'More about Alhaitham III: "Every person should have something that they believe in and hold on to from beginning to end. Otherwise, it's easy to succumb to the vicissitudes of life and find yourself being led astray.", so him asking Kaveh "How has realizing your ideals gone for you?" wasn't a dig, it was him trying to see if his best friend changed because of his hardships. And when he saw he didn't, it must have been such a relief to know that his mirror in the world was still there, altruistic and passionate, even with more emotional bruises than before.

Alhaitham is so many things, but someone who inherently doesn't understand emotions (his and other people's) or disregards everything that isn't pure knowledge or utilitarian way of living, are not some of them.

[theelizamanelli]

Tengoku

Reina Iyashi wants a normal, mundane existence until Satoru Gojo takes a special interest in her uncanny ability to bring people back to life (or so Itadori says) and offers her a job as his assistant at Jujutsu High. Tags: 18+, satoru gojo x female oc, boss x assistant, golden retriever x black cat, forced proximity, slow burn, eventual smut, romance, blood and violence, implied/referenced death link to all chapters link to ao3

——————————————————————————————————

Chapter Eleven

——————————————————————————————————

Reina closed her laptop with a huff, staring out the window. The sun was beginning to set over the treeline, a clear indication it was time for her to return home. She found herself hesitating to do so - her thoughts full. 

She had not been able to stop thinking of the kiss. It permeated her mind at nearly every waking hour - the shower, the kitchen, at work, and worsened when Gojo looked at her. It was as if he knew what was racing through her head. 

The interaction would inevitably end the same way - Reina avoiding eye contact with a blush staining her cheeks and Gojo refusing to let her be with a tease slipping from his mouth. 

Leaning her head back, Reina sighed - her shoulders slumping. The softness of Gojo’s lips haunted her. How he had deepened the kiss by pulling her back, she could feel the heat begin to grow within her at the mere thought.

Reina pressed her thighs together, warmth spreading up her neck. She couldn’t help but wonder what other things his mouth could do. Her right hand glided over her skirt before sliding up her thigh, Reina bit her lip.

“Are you ready, Iyashi?” Gojo shoved the door open, Reina nearly jumped out of her seat - knocking over the papers on her desk. 

“Please, don’t you know how to knock?” She quickly dropped to her knees to pick them up. Willing her face to cool down. 

“What were you doing?” Gojo asked suspiciously, leaning over the desk to watch her. 

“Nothing, it’s been a long day. I was-” She paused, struggling to find the word. “Relaxing.” 

She settled on that, though if she had been honest she was about to touch herself to thoughts of Gojo. Reina would be lying if she said that was the first time since they returned from the inn. 

A fact she was deeply ashamed of.

——————————————————————————————————

“What?” Gojo leaned over Reina, one hand holding onto the bar above her head - the other hidden in his pocket. “I think I deserve one.”

She rolled her eyes, turning her head to the side. Gojo pouted slightly,  “Just one kiss. I helped you all day.”

Reina looked into his glasses, his blue eyes peering slightly over, “You bothered me all day. There’s a difference.”

“And you loved it,” he responded indignantly, straightening up as the subway came to a halt. 

Reina sighed, the comments had been endless since they had arrived home. Any time she would drop off his letters he would purse his lips expectantly, earning him a smack on the mouth.

She learned quickly this was not a deterrent but rather emphatic encouragement. 

Exiting the transport, Gojo lingered a step behind her as they ascended to the street. He stepped in front of her, walking backwards as he recounted how they had all witnessed Fushiguro being hit on. Describing in great detail, his animated hands striking through the air. 

Reina laughed at the vision of Fushiguro reacting to the three as they more than likely misread the situation. 

He pouted, “Not our sweet, naive Megu-” he stopped abruptly as a young girl bounced off of his limitless effect, stumbling forward.

Reina reached out to steady her but the girl yanked her arm out of range, “Watch where you’re going, lady!” she shouted.

Her brows furrowed, her eyes blinking rapidly. The girl glared before pushing past her, hurrying down the street.

Reina whipped around, “Listen here, brat! You better respect your elders!” she scrambled to follow her. 

The girl’s short brown hair ducked in and out of the crowd. Reina pushed through the throng, apologizing intermittently. The kid slipped into an alley, she sprinted down the brickway screeching to a stop as it came to a dead end.

“Where the fu-” Reina muttered, looking around frantically.

“Listen, brat, I will find you!” she yelled into the sky, “So help me!”

Gojo leaned down, “Yeah, you really got her, Iyashi!” he nodded his head in faux solidarity.

“Shut up,” she responded, her head swiveling to look for any small openings she could have slid through.

“Now, what do we have here?” she asked, crouching down to examine a corner of the ground - a hole burrowed to the other side. A green curse sat, too engorged to fit through the opening.

Gojo peered over her, “A curse? Interesting.”

“Very,” replied Reina. 

——————————————————————————————————

Reina slammed a piece of paper onto Gojo’s desk, fixing him with a sinister smile. She slid her hand out of the way to allow him to examine it.

It was a school picture, a young girl with dark brown hair glared up at Gojo.   

“Found her,” she stated triumphantly, her eyes darkening. 

“Scary,” said Gojo, leaning his head back and turning the photo over.

“Very,” Fushiguro concurred, sitting in the corner of the classroom reading a book.

“The school sent over information about her,” she smiled as she pulled the documents out of her bag.

Gojo examined her carefully before responding, “How did you manage that?”

“I lied and said I was her long lost aunt trying to reconnect.” she responded, flipping through the papers absentmindedly.

“Is this how you always act? Lying to get what you want?” he teased, mocking her with a grin.

Reina looked up at him, a small smile tugging at her lips before stating, “Pretty much.”

She sat at the counter later that night, reading through the information.

Name: Sakura Fukanaga

Sex: Female

Age: 11 

Parents: Deceased

Home Address: Sanya Children’s Home

Reina’s grip tightened on the paper, her eyes re-reading the last three words. She set the documents down, her mind flashing with memories. Her jaw clenched as she shook her head, standing from the counter she threw the stack into her bag.

——————————————————————————————————

Sanya Children’s Home

Reina stared at the worn lettering on the building, her foot tapping the ground. She had been standing at the same spot on the sidewalk for five minutes, the Spring air hugging her bare legs as she willed them to step forward.

“Whatcha doin’?” Gojo inquired, settling in next to her.

Reina jumped slightly before groaning, “What are you doing here?”

“Well, it’s rare that my assistant doesn’t show up to work. Thought I should investigate.” he replied, staring up at the building - reading.

“It’s Saturday,” she responded, her tone flat.

“Oh, well, that makes sense.” He shrugged before walking towards the door, “Are you going to go in or keep staring at it for another five minutes?”

Reina huffed, taking a few tentative steps towards the entrance - careful to avoid the cracked wood near the frame. She wiggled her big toe reflexively. 

Children of all ages raced through the corridors, giggling as they hopped up the stairs. There was an open space to the right that contained various couches and chairs, a few girls sat there coloring. A dining area spanned to the right, a long table sprawled through the middle. 

An older woman stood scolding a child for sliding down the bannister, as the boy walked off with his head hanging she turned towards them, “How can we help you?”

The woman faltered, “Reina?” she gasped, rushing forward.

“Hello, Ms. Shimuzu,” Reina responded sheepishly. 

“We thought you were dead!” Ms. Shimuzu shouted. “Went to your apartment and there was an eviction notice on the front! The landlord said you had disappeared with all of your stuff!”

Reina winced at the tone, slumping her shoulders as she fidgeted with her blouse - her eyes roaming the floor. 

“Six months, Reina! SIX MONTHS we haven’t heard from you!” she yelled, reaching for her shoulders. Gojo slid in between the woman and Reina, a smile plastered to his face.

“Hello, Satoru Gojo. This troublemaker’s boss, may I ask who you are?” he asked politely, gesturing behind him where Reina hung her head.

Her hands stopped short of his body, she looked up at his glasses before responding, “My name is Ms. Shimuzu, I run Sanya Children’s Home. I used to take care of Reina Iyashi though it seems she’s moved on to,” She paused and trailed his length with her gaze, “other things.”

Gojo cocked his head to the side, staring down at the woman. Ms. Shimuzu peered around him, fixing her sights on Reina.

“What do you have to say for yourself, girl?” she asked sternly.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Shimuzu. I really was going to write a letter at least but,” She faltered, she didn’t know why she hadn’t reached out. This woman was as close as she would ever get to having a mother yet she still treated her like a child. 

“I’ve been keeping her so busy at work,” Gojo finished for her, leaning down to catch Ms. Shimuzu’s attention. “Obviously raised well, she’s such a diligent employee,”

Flattered at the compliment, she puffed up slightly - leading them to the living room area.

“So, why did you deign us with your presence, Reina?” Ms. Shimuzu inquired, casting her a sideways glare. 

Reina swallowed hard before responding, “I’m looking for someone. Her name is Sakura Fukanaga.”

Ms. Shimuzu let out a deep sigh, “Oh, god, what did she do this time?”

“Nothing,” replied Reina hurriedly. “I want to talk to her, that's all.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll have a lot to converse about. That is, if you can get her to cooperate.” she said dismissively, she gestured to the stairs. “Her room is on the third floor, 39.”

They headed up the long spiral staircase, Reina stared down at the wood - the tension palpable. 

Gojo leaned down, “She’s a delight,” he said in a low voice, holding a hand up over his mouth in an attempt to muffle his words.

Reina didn’t respond, her stare fixed on the steps. 

Approaching the door, they could hear a young girl talking to someone with no response. Reina scrunched her face, reaching a hand out to knock on the door.

“I’m busy!” yelled out an irritated voice.

“Too bad!” Reina shouted back. The door was yanked roughly, the young girl stood in the opening - glaring up at her.

“You’re that lady on the street,” she said, her gaze trailing her up and down. 

“And you’re that brat who has no manners,” Reina responded, walking forward into the room. 

“Better than being some old maid, towing along a white haired freak.” Sakura retorted, scoffing as Reina passed her. 

Gojo gasped, one hand reaching up to smooth back a tendril that had fallen over his glasses. Reina whipped towards Sakura, her eyes ablaze.

“He’s not some freak, well-” she halted, Gojo was a freak but the young girl had no business criticizing him. “He has many quirks but he doesn’t deserve to be ridiculed by some snot nosed kid.”

Sakura’s brows furrowed, “Listen, lady, what do you want?”

“You can see them, can’t you?” Reina asked, her eyes softening as she stiffened in response. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” responded Sakura. She had let go of the door, walking over to the desk to sit down. Gojo leaned against the frame, his eyes darting back and forth between the two.

“You’ve always been able to see them but now it’s harder to ignore them,” Reina stepped towards her. “You can feel them, they track you down sometimes. They hurt your friends but they don’t know why.”

The girl's eyes widened, her breathing increased as Reina continued. 

“No one else can see them and they don’t believe you when you tell them. They make fun of you, call you names,” Her voice softened. “Is that why you were running? That green curse was chasing you?”

“Leave me alone!” exclaimed Sakura, standing up from the desk.

“We can see them, too,” Reina responded calmly, gesturing to Gojo. “Let us help you.”

“Get out!” she yelled, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

Reina walked out of the room, watching as Sakura slammed the door. 

——————————————————————————————————

Slowly following the sidewalk up to the apartment building, Gojo fell in step with her. He glanced at Reina intermittently, it had been a quiet walk home. He had made various comments that would normally warrant a swift smack - instead she hadn’t even furrowed her brows. 

This seemed to greatly unsettle him.

Riding the elevator, they exited onto their floor and stopped abruptly. Sakura sat outside of the door, looking up and making eye contact with Reina.

“I can see them,” she said softly.

“How did you beat us up here?” asked Gojo, looking around for whoever had accompanied her.

“I’m really fast,” she replied with a shrug.

Reina opened the door, gesturing for Sakura to enter. Gojo peeked around the corner, ensuring there hadn’t been someone who had driven her. Reina shot him an incredulous look, waving her hand - an indication to hurry inside. 

He held his hands up defensively, sliding past her through the entry. 

They settled into the living area, Sakura sat cross legged on the floor - staring at the carpet. Reina fidgeted with her skirt, hoping she would break the silence. 

“So? Anyone seen any good animes lately?” Gojo inquired, clapping his hands to his knees.

Reina and Sakura glared at him - the young girl shook her head before stating, “There’s something in the attic.”

The two leaned forward as Sakura continued, “Ms. Shimuzu keeps it locked, I hear noises coming from it every once in a while. It became a dare to see how close you could get to the door. My friend Misaki got all the way up there but now she’s,” she paused, swallowing hard. “...different.”

“How so?” replied Reina, smoothing out her skirt.

“I don’t know. She’s just…weird now. She mumbles to herself a lot and stays up all night.” her brows furrowed, sadness saturating her expression.

“We’ll help you,” Reina stated, standing from the couch. Gojo stared up at her before returning his attention to Sakura. He stood abruptly, settling in next to her.

“Yes, we will,” He said, saluting the young girl.

“Are you always this weird?” Sakura asked. 

“Yes,” responded Reina - stifling a laugh. She patted Gojo on the shoulder comfortingly as his face fell.

——————————————————————————————————

Reina stood outside of the orphanage, admiring the building - memories of young girls playing in the front yard streaking her memory. She smiled before striding towards the entrance, Gojo lagging slightly behind her. 

She held out her arm, pointing out the splintered wood frame, “Watch out, that’s how I ended up with six stitches in my toe.” Gojo hopped over it gracefully before walking into the familiar space.

Sakura stood at the bottom of the stairs, motioning for the two to follow. 

The staircase gave way to another level, filled with various hallways containing rooms for the children.

“Where is the attic?” inquired Reina as she took a few tentative steps forward. 

“Over there,” Sakura pointed down a long hallway with no doors that led to a weathered staircase. The lightbulb that illuminated the space flickered intermittently.

“Spooky,” whispered Gojo.

“Very,” responded Sakura.

Reina walked to the staircase, investigating the area. Gojo stepped next to her, sliding his fingers along the bannister.

“There’s cursed energy here but not as much as I thought there would be,” he mentioned before climbing the steps. 

“I don’t feel anything,” commented Reina as she followed him. Gojo broke the lock and pushed the door open.

The wood flooring spread forward giving way to a large window that overlooked the street. The space was filled with boxes lining the walls haphazardly, a thin layer of dust coating the room.

Reina rummaged through one of the boxes closest to her - full of pictures, awards, keepsakes of a stranger. She threw it a puzzled look before moving on to the next.

Sakura stood at the top of the stairs, hesitant to take a step into the space. Gojo walked over to her, standing protectively next to the bannister, “You’re safe,” he said comfortingly. 

She faltered before entering the room, glancing at Gojo momentarily before stepping past him. Sakura walked to where Reina was standing, peering over the box. 

“That’s Misaki’s parents,” she pointed at the picture. 

Reina jolted, a realization hitting her as she turned to examine the room, “These are all the belongings of these kid’s dead families,” she said to Gojo.

“That’s a little morbid,” he replied, picking up a baseball from another box - tossing it in the air. 

They continued to search the room in an attempt to gather information about the curse, Sakura sat on the floor looking through photos.

Reina rested next to her, gazing over her shoulder. “They died in a fire,” she stated - pointing at the picture of Sakura and a young woman holding onto a young man. “Dad told me to run as fast as I could,”

“I was around your age when I lost my family,” Reina said softly. “I blamed myself for years, I didn’t talk until I was eleven. Like a personal punishment.”

A tear slipped down Sakura’s cheek as she caressed the photo, “How did you stop?” she whispered.

Reina paused for a moment, thinking of how to respond, “I found people who make me feel something,” she stated. “They taught me that I did everything that I could,”

She put a comforting hand on Sakura’s back, “That is all anyone can ask.”

——————————————————————————————————

The three investigated various portions of the house to no avail. There weren’t any obvious signs of a curse. 

“Maybe we can come back,” reasoned Reina as they had finished searching the last closet. “If you see something, you can call us.”

Sakura hung her head momentarily before meeting her gaze, “Please, I know it’s here.”

A crash sounded from the attic, echoing down the steps. Racing back in its direction, the three re-entered the room

A cloud of dust was settling in the wake of a thrown box - glass sprinkling the ground. 

A small face peeked from behind a box, ducking quickly back into its hiding spot.

“Found ya,” said Reina. She pulled a kaiken from her thigh, walking towards where it had been last.

A box flew through the air, Reina dodged it quickly. Gojo jumped out of its way as various items slid across the ground. 

The curse scurried along the wall, its body resembling a little boy with red scales. It leaped towards Gojo who knocked it back, it splayed along the ground before recovering - racing in Reina’s direction.

She braced herself for the impact, it sprung into the air towards her as she knocked it to the ground - the kaiken connecting with the side of its face, narrowly missing the neck. 

Reina cursed and prepared herself for its next action. Gojo stood behind it, waiting.

The little boy bounded across the ground towards Reina, sliding in between her legs. She whipped around to see what its strategy was. 

Sakura stood a few feet away, in front of the window - watching as the curse raced towards her. She shakily spread her feet and raised her fists. Reina sprinted in their direction.

The boy clawed at her, Sakura dodged it taking a step backwards. Reina hit the curse to the side, her arm extending forward for her. 

In a moment, Sakura was colliding with the glass as it shattered around her - falling. She reached out her hand in a desperate attempt to save herself, a gasp the only sound that escaped her lips. 

Reina grasped her hand, pulling her to her body as she slipped through the window. She tucked Sakura tightly to her chest and turned herself so that her back would be the first to hit the ground. 

They careened towards the concrete, Reina reasoned that there were worse ways to die than for someone else. 

In her last moments, she did find herself regretting not telling Gojo how thankful she was for him - she hoped he knew how much he meant to her.

She shut her eyes tight as Sakura screamed, preparing for the impact. 

Suddenly her body lightened, falling softly into strong arms. Reina opened her eyes, Gojo stared down at her with a look she had never seen before.

Sakura gripped her tightly, she sat up and looked around frantically before they both slid from his arms to the ground.

“Why is it that you are so quick to give your life for others?” He asked, a hint of anger in his voice.

Reina faltered - she had never heard him take this tone. “I don’t know, it’s a worthy cause?” she replied.

“There are people who need you here, Iyashi.” he stated, staring at her intently. “You are useless to them dead.”

He turned and walked back into the building, he had eliminated the curse in the altercation - she could see its body hanging from the window pane. 

Reina wrestled with Gojo’s words - the only people who had cared whether she lived or died had perished fifteen years ago. The idea that anyone needed her was foreign. 

She could think of no one immediately who would even inquire if she disappeared one day. Even Ms. Shizumu abandoned her search eventually. 

Her eyes widened as a sudden thought crossed her mind. Reina could think of one person who would never stop looking for her. 

Was it possible that the one who needed her most was Satoru Gojo?

——————————————————————————————————

Note to reader: Listen, I know what you guy's want. Let's just say...soon.

——————————————————————————————————

chapter twelve

[ramspatula]

Zinnias | Lloyd Garmadon x reader | Part 6

Homeless, forced to leave the city but not alone

Previous part, Master list, Next Part

I came to a realisation as I let Lloyd lead me to the top of this skyscraper. I trusted him too much. That and he was the only thing stopping these stone warriors from killing me. He seemed to be the only thing stopping them, I could see how the other ninjas rendered useless at the seemingly impenetrable opponents. I thought they had powers? Why was Lloyd the only one using powers? How have I ended up in two situations like this in the span of 2 days?! A tug and my body colliding with another as a sword just missed me gave me my answer. I looked up to my green saviour, who looked down to check on me before leading me into the building where everyone was running up the stairs.

“Go! I’ll be up there soon!” Lloyd told me.

“But-“ He shook his head.

“No. I’ll be okay, I’ll see you soon. Just get to the roof and make sure you get on the bounty.” Lloyd told me, I looked up at the stairs but I refused to let go of his hand as I turned back around to look into his eyes.

“Lloyd, please-“ I wanted him to come up with me now.

“Ease my conscious, please, Y/n.” Something glitched, I didn’t care what. I couldn’t believe what I was about to do. I couldn’t believe I could leave him like this.

“I will come straight back down if you’re not up there within the next 5 minutes.” I told him and he nodded, I kissed the cheek of the mask before running up the stairs.

These stairs seemed to go on forever, I heard someone collapse and I turned to see an elderly woman. Against my better judgment, I ran to her and helped her up. I put one of her arms around my shoulders and held most of her weight. She thanked me endlessly as we made our way up these stairs. I was trying to be quick until I saw Jay grab the woman’s other arm and wrap it around his shoulders and together we charged up the stairs. Another women, younger, ran to the elderly woman and took her off us. I could now see how many people were trying to get onto the bounty, which was a flying ship.

“I don’t think everyone is going to fit.” I said to Jay who was next to me.

“They will, we’ll make sure of it. The bounty is tougher than she looks and bigger.” He was right. It was a lot wider than it looked. I ended up next to Kai who had a hand on his com which was in his ear.

“Everyone is on board, including Peach, waiting for Green and Misako.” He said and I couldn’t hear if anyone responded.

“Where is he?” I asked, not wanting to wait any longer.

“On his way, a satchel that has all the final battle scrolls got caught on something and they had to retrieve it. They’re on their way now.” Kai tried to calm me. It didn’t work.

“We need to get this thing moving, and soon!” Cole called out, the civilians nodded and agreement was heard.

“Not until those two are on board!” Wu and I finally agreed on something for once. It wasn’t long until we saw them emerge from the stair well. Lloyd boosted his mother or board and I watched as multiple stone warriors infiltrated the roof and tried to attack the thrusters. Lloyd looked directly in my eyes before fighting the stone warriors and getting rid of the one attacking the thrusters. We began to steer off and I felt my heart drop. We couldn’t just be leaving him? I heard Misako calling out for her son who used a stone warrior to jump on and then leap towards the bounty. Barely making it and clinging onto the side, he pulled himself on board. I’d never been so full of relief.

🪺. *. ⋆

We were in the air for an hour before we landed. That whole time I couldn’t hug or even interact with Lloyd in order to avoid suspicion. Jay told me that to which I almost yelled at him when he immediately walked away after that. When everyone had got off at and the ninja confirmed no one else was on board, I found Lloyd below deck who had just took his mask off.

“Did I scare you?” He asked and I hit his arm to which he giggled. I clung to him after and relished in the way his arms closed around me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to actually make you worry.” He apologised and I held him tighter.

“I thought you weren’t going to make it then.” I said and Lloyd leant his head atop of mine.

“Well I did and I’m here.” He told me, I tried to look up at him, making him move his head off mine. He knew what I wanted. Thats how we stood for a moment, in the hallway, stuck to each other like glue. Kissing like we needed each other. I was starting to believe we did. It’s almost how Lloyd spoke about how he felt. Through affection and touch, I knew he didn’t know how to communicate his feelings. It seemed like affection and any intimacy filled a hole in Lloyd he didn’t know how to fill on his own. He knew what to say to assure others but not himself. “This might be wrong to say, but I think I need you.” Lloyd said and I smiled.

“You need me? I think I need you?” I said and he smiled.

“I think we need each other.” He told me and I played with the ends of his hair that brushed the back of his neck.

“You do more for me than I do for you. That much is obvious now.” I said, he frowned.

“You make me feel human again. You remind me that I’m Lloyd, not the green ninja. I think you might be crazy. Picking me over the green ninja when you had the choice?” He said and I laughed.

“I liked the nice boy I met over the green saviour who saved me. Greenie was funny but Lloyd makes me feel warm. Like it’s worth it. That’s not a feeling that you just come across.” I said and he kissed me again.

“That alone does more for me than picking up a sword and fighting for me ever would.” Lloyd said, the smile on my face wouldn’t leave.

“Can we go on a date after this?” I asked and he laughed.

“Of course.” He told me. “What do you want to do?” Lloyd asked and I paused in thought.

“I don’t know, just like some cheap place and then we do something fun after.” I said and he laughed.

“Well we don’t have to wait for the date for the fun stuff. Unless you want me to be a true gentlemen?” He asked and I laughed.

“I think we’re past that.” I said and he shrugged.

“Worth asking.” Lloyd said and I laughed again.

“You’re amazing.” I told him and he shook his head.

“You can’t say that to me when you’re looking up at me like that.” He warned and I smiled.

“Surely someone tells you it.” I said and his face told me otherwise. “Lloyd Garmadon, you are amazing.” I told him and his smile that reminded me of a child getting praised almost made tears spring to my eyes which almost poured out when he hugged me and rested his head atop mine again. “I’ve got it so lucky with you.” I told him to which he didn’t move. I swayed us gently. It wasn’t until he pulled us into a separate room and after a few confusing moments did I hear Kai and Jay walking past. Lloyd sunk against the door, tears were in his eyes. My heart broke for him.

I slid between Lloyd’s legs, he let me sit between them with my back to his chest. His arms fell back around me. His head fell to my neck where the now scar was.

“You smell really good.” He said, his voice sounded weak.

“It’s okay if it’s all just hit you.” I said and he shook his head.

“It’s not that… I have to fight him.” Lloyd said like it was a realisation.

“Your Dad?” I asked and he nodded.

“I have to fight and win which means I probably need to kill him.” Lloyd told me and I shook my head.

“Not necessarily! And even if so, you’re doing it because you have to. Not because you want to. Fate is cruel, fuck it.” I said and he smiled.

“You shouldn’t say that, they don’t like it.” He told me and I shrugged.

“I don’t care what they like, not when it hurts you.” I told him and he sighed.

“I am the green ninja.” He told me and I shook my head.

“You’re Lloyd.” I told him and he smiled.

“I’m getting confused. I’m both.” Lloyd told me and I smiled.

“Well I love Lloyd so you have to be Lloyd.” I told him and he smiled, holding me tighter.

“I’m Lloyd then.” He told me and I smiled, kissing his cheek.

“Good, Greenie is my homeboy so-“ he started laughing and sat up, resting his head against the door.

“I don’t have to worry about you and this homeboy, do I?” He asked and I pretended to be in thought.

“I don’t know something about masked men in green really gets me-“ He squeezed me and I yelped before laughing.

“It’ll be okay, you’ll be okay. Just do what you have to do and win, okay?” I told Lloyd who nodded.

“Will you be okay?” He asked and I smiled.

“Me? I’ll be more than okay. You should worry for how well I’m doing.” I said and he smiled.

“Seriously, I don’t know how long I’m probably going to be gone for.” Lloyd said and I frowned.

“Gone? I’m coming with.” I said and immediately shook his head.

“No. That’s a horrible idea.” He told me and I shook my head.

“You can’t stop me.” I told him, standing up.

“I can and I will!” He told me, I shook my head.

“I don’t exactly have somewhere to stay anyway! And you need me.” I said, he look bewildered.

“Exactly! I need you- alive! And stay at the monastery!” He told me, I sighed.

“On my own?! No thanks.” I told him as we now made our way down the hall. We ran into Cole.

“You’ll need masks on up there, we’re currently sitting ducks until Nya and Jay can get the thrusters working again.” He told me, handing me some form on ninja mask.

“Thanks!” I said, putting it on.

“They need you out there, big guy. There’s some heavy lifting that needs doing and I still have no powers.” Cole told Lloyd who nodded.

“I’ll be out there in a minute.” Lloyd said before turning to me. “You’re not coming with us to find my Dad, it’s not safe.” He continued, I rolled my eyes.

“I’ll be fine, I want to see what’s going on outside. I thought we’d already be up by now.” I said and he looked around like he was going crazy.

“Can you not hear me-?! You’re not coming, Y/n!” Half the hallway glitched and I turned to him to glare. These masks were surprisingly easy to breathe in. “Sorry- just… I can’t let you be in danger like that- I need a reason to come home. To fight for.” He told me and that made me pause.

“Lloyd-“ I started but was cut off.

“I’m afraid I must disagree with you, nephew.” A senior voice stated. I turned to see Wu making his way down the hallway with Misako by his side.

“What?” Lloyd asked, Wu’s eyes squinted a little as they stared at each other.

“I think it is best that ‘Peach’ accompany us.” He stated and I felt a triumphant feeling consume me whilst Lloyd’s heart dropped beside me.

“No-!” He immediately objected.

“I have already made the decision.” Wu stated, much to his nephew’s dread. “It is no secret that since Peach has entered your life, you are a new man. Focused, confident and alert. This secureness she instils in you, nephew, is exactly what you need to be able to take down this evil in your father and win the final battle.” Wu said and I almost felt like I was getting credit for something I didn’t do.

“Uncle, please- I don’t want her in harm’s way. She’s not trained or a ninja and she can’t control her power- how can she protect herself against whatever my father will be sending our way?” Lloyd asked, and it was a good argument.

“From what I’ve seen, she is quite capable of handling herself. Her powers seem to be quite active and protective. They are not of elemental origin, that unpredictability might prove useful in our ventures.” Wu told Lloyd who shook his head in disbelief.

“I can’t believe this.” Lloyd said and Misako jumped in.

“Control your temper, son. Your father will be sure to exploit it if not.” Probably the wrong person to be trying to lecture him. I felt like I was in the middle of everything even though they were arguing over me.

“I guess you’re coming then.” Lloyd said, annoyed. I didn’t know what to say back. I had gone against him and now everyone was against him.

“I didn’t mean-“ he was already heading up to the deck.

“Give him time, he is awfully protective of you.” Misako said and I nodded, pushing back the and though that crossed my head and asked if she even knew her son well enough to make that judgement of him.

“Thanks, I’m going to somewhere I’m not bothering anyone for a minute.” I said and turned away, I ignored how I made a door glitch off its hinges.

🪺. *. ⋆

After about an hour of sitting in a silent room and being filled with self-deprecating thoughts. I noticed that there was no roar of thrusters or movement at all. The ship was perfectly still and considering all passengers had been unloaded almost 2 hours ago, this was concerning because it meant we were still around those who had been evacuated. I thought we’d of left by now. And well, I had enough of being curious so I forced myself off the ground and headed towards the stairs to the main deck. My entrance went mainly unnoticed until I gathered the courage to voice my concerns.

“Why are we still on the ground?” I asked, seeing the huddle outside. Lloyd dropped part of a massive thruster. I didn’t realise how big those thrusters were. Were we in a fight? Or was he just annoyed?

“Those stone warriors managed to jam a couple swords and other things, mainly metal, into some of the thrusters which melted meaning different parts of our thrusters are now one big heroes mess so until we can replace them, we’re sitting ducks.” Nya complained, wrench in hand which probably proved useless now.

“What are we supposed to do now?! We have to get to the dark island somehow.” Kai complained and I frowned.

“I’m not even sure that’s a good idea, we couldn’t do shit to those things- why do we want to go to an island full of them?!” Cole asked and he had a good point to be fair.

“It’s true, my powers only slowed them down.” Lloyd added.

“Sorry but we’re not in much look of our defences are the green ninja who can only slow them and Peach who can beat them but not on command.” Nya said and they all sighed.

“The bounty is a ship right?” I asked, they nodded.

“We fixed her into a flying ship when we first found her, quite the technological advancement if I do say so myself.” Jay tapped the side of the bounty.

“If the bounty is a ship, why don’t we just sail it?” I asked and they looked at me with blank stairs until Nya hit herself in the head, almost catching herself with her wrench.

“It’s a boat!” She exclaimed as if I hadn’t just said that.

“We’ve never sailed her before, who knows if she could even hold up in water?” Cole stated and Kai shrugged.

“She was a ship, that was shipwrecked when we found her. She’s clearly been out in the sea before and she’s definitely a lot more tougher now.” Kai added.

“The correct proportions as well considering how effortlessly she flew.” Zane added and I frowned, did this much consideration need to go into the fact that a ship sails on water.

“So we’re sailing?” I asked and Nya nodded.

“We’re sailing!” She exclaimed. “We just needs to get her into the water first.” She exclaimed in a way that made you think the water ninja was going to get the water to come up and push the boat into water considering we’re right next to the ocean. “We need a dock.” She said. Why did everything that made sense to do, not happen?

🪺. *. ⋆

“Are you mad at me?” I asked, I’d been watching Lloyd run around doing things for 10 minutes now. Currently, he was hauling the anchor back up after testing that it still worked and was heavy enough.

“Mad at you? No. Mad that I’m not being listened to? Yes.” He told me and I looked up at him. He wasn’t looking at me.

“Seems like you’re mad at me.” I said and he sighed, setting the anchor back in place.

“You’re not listening to me.” He said and I sighed. Who let this man be sassier than me?

“I’m sorry but you look too good right now for me to fully be able to pay attention to whatever is coming out your mouth. Do you arms always look that big or-?” He turned to me, a small smile on his face.

“You’re already trouble.” Lloyd told me and I grinned.

“But look how focused you are!” I teased and he laughed, pulling me in close to him.

“Oh im so focused.” He said and I let him kiss me briefly before both smiling in our position. “What was I doing again?” He questioned and I laughed.

“Not her. Help us push this boat into water.” Kai’s voice cut in and I laughed, he rolled his eyes.

“Am I forgiven?” I asked and he smiled.

“I suppose.” He said and kissed me one last time before pulling down his mask and jumping off the side of the bounty to where Kai had disappeared to. That was hot.

🪺. *. ⋆

They got the bounty into the water safely, it was right next to a dock and that’s when I noticed Zane and Cole were back with many bags.

“Spare gis, clothes, everything that you guys put in your emergency bags! Peach, I don’t have a clue what you’re going to do.” Cole said and began hauling the bags onto the deck.

“Oh no, looks like she has to go home.” Lloyd said and I shoved him playfully.

“I’ll let you know when it’s rebuilt.” I shot back and he held his hands up.

“I’ve got spare clothes on the bounty from when we lived on it, they’re up for grabs.” Nya said instead and I nodded in thanks.

“Thank you, my stuff is currently sitting under rubble or halfway across ninjago on someone else’s back.” I reminded them and Cole’s face seemed to fall.

“What are you going to do about your whole living situation?” Jay asked and I shrugged.

“There’s a few shelters I know of. Maybe they’ll give me some sort of hand out or a different place to go.” I said and they looked at me weirdly.

“Shelter?” Kai asked.

“Why can’t you go home- to your parents?” Nya asked instead.

“I haven’t spoke to my mother for like 4 months, haven’t seen any of my family in 4 years and we don’t get along.” I told them.

“They won’t take you in?!” Cole asked, I shrugged.

“They probably would, I’m just not willing to put myself through that.” I said and they frowned. “They’re also not a big fan of the Peach thing.” I explained, they nodded.

“Do they know about your powers?” Kai asked, I shook my head.

“No. I think they’d never talk to me again, so feel free to tell them!” I joked but no one laughed, Lloyd let out a little chuckle but I think it was more at my attempt to lighten the mood. “They’ll know about my school though so I should probably expect a call sometime soon.” I said and they looked between each other before at Lloyd. “A part from that, I think I’m homeless.” I said, it hadn’t really set in yet.

“We’ll find somewhere for you to go- that isn’t some unsafe shelter.” Lloyd said, sure of himself and I smiled and nodded in thanks.

“No need for all this. Peach shall reside with us for as long as she needs.” Wu said, informing everyone of his presence. “In case you haven’t noticed, she is already making some valuable improvements to the teams. That being common sense.” He said as he walked away, I think he was referring to the fact I said a ship can sail.

“He’s a big fan of you.” Jay said and I shrugged.

“I must have some kind of charm with this family.” I said and Lloyd smirked before wrapping his arm around me and guiding me onto the bounty with his bag in hand. Lloyd’s clothes will be good too, I will definitely be wearing some of them.

🪺. *. ⋆

I did have charm with his family. I made Misako laugh so hard she almost spit out her tea onto her scrolls because I mispronounced a word. It was a tough word. And it was long. I even tried sounding it out in my head first. Turns out it was a name for some ancient tea pot. Wu spoke to me endlessly about the 4 golden weapons and the actual prophecy of the green ninja. I held onto each and every one of his words, even when he cut himself off to tell one the ninja to fix their form. We’d only been on the water for a couple days and yet I felt so close to the group already. Even if the group in question spent at least an hour a day standing on their hands whilst balancing an object. Not one of their bodies even shook lightly. I don’t think my body could survive a 2 minute plank without shaking like washing machine with a brick in it. That’s currently how we were, me and Wu sat drinking tea whilst he retells stories of his past ventures and tales of the first spinjitsu master, his father. The ninjas eyes were shut with most their faces holding focused expressions, Lloyd’s eyebrows were creased. He wasn’t meditating, he was overthinking.

“-the key to knowing when you have reached your true potential, is to have a sharp mind. Any of my students will tell you so. There are many teachings I can share with my students but they mean naught when they forget who they are or what they fight for. Do you know the best way to defeat your enemy?” Wu asked and I smiled.

“To be their friend.” I said and he smiled I heard the ninjas groan and share bewildered expressions. Thats the first time they’ve broken meditation the whole time I’ve been here.

“How?!” Jay asked.

“How does your mind even go there?!” Cole asked.

“Even if you defeat an enemy in combat they’re still your enemy. So there’s two ways to have no enemy at all, they die or you make them your friend. Your friends aren’t your enemies and if they are then they aren’t your friends.” I explained and Wu smiled.

“That’s the riddle I gave the ninja when we first took Lloyd in… when he was nothing more than a troubled boy in a skeleton hoodie.” Wu said and Lloyd smiled.

“That’s the day I learnt never to trust a snake.” Lloyd said and I smiled. The ninjas focussed back up and went back into meditation.

“Nephew, you may end your mediation and join us. The rest of you, for your disruption, another hour.” The ninja protested again as Lloyd got back on his feet and headed over.

“Do your hands go numb?” I asked and he smiled as he sat down next to me.

“Not anymore.” Lloyd said and poured his own cup of tea.

“I tried meditating once, not like that, Pearl called me a hippie and I haven’t meditated since.” I said Lloyd laughed.

“We meditate everyday, it helps to keep our emotions regulated so we stay focused in combat.” Lloyd explained.

“How did you find your mediation?” Wu asked and I paused, trying to remember how it felt.

“Weird. I didn’t exactly get the stress relief I wanted but I think that had more to do with the building full of students than the meditation itself.” I said and Wu nodded.

“Living with students can bring many deals of stress.” He said and Lloyd smiled as the other ninja fought their impulsive need to defend themselves.

“You should try again, with us, you’ll probably have better results.” Lloyd suggested and I nodded.

“I can’t stand on my hands for very long if at all anymore.” I said he smiled.

“Not on your hands, just traditional sitting down meditation with some breathing exercises.” He told me and I shrugged.

“Okay but you have to coach me through it.” I said and he smiled.

“I’m not near a master yet but I can walk you through basic meditation.” Lloyd said to which his Uncle nodded.

“Once you’ve mastered meditation, ninjitsu training will come much easier.” My eyes widened. What did that old man just say?

“Me? A ninja?” I asked and Wu nodded, I looked to Lloyd who just looked more stressed.

“If you wish to become one but ninjistu training on its own accompanied by your powers ensure protection. It’s foolish to assume that having these powers will not also bring danger.” Oh. Okay. I liked it better when Wu was freaking out the ninja and not me.

“Wow. Thats a big thing isn’t it?” I asked and Lloyd nodded.

“Knowing how to defend yourself isn’t the worst idea, especially if you’re with me.” Lloyd said and I nodded.

“You’re right… I’m going inside for a bit. I want to watch a rerun of that weird space movie you have on tape.” I said and Lloyd smiled.

“Have fun, I’ll probably join you.” He said and I smiled and held onto his hand for as long as I could before having to let go.

“The ninja will be on their hands for another 50 minutes, I suggest you make use of the limited free time you have.” Wu said and Lloyd frowned.

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Lloyd asked and Wu looked ahead at the other ninja.

“48 minutes.” Wu said instead and Lloyd rushed to his feet.

I was warm. Lloyd’s body was incredibly warm. If I didn’t know him, I’d think he was getting sick. Lloyd let me know that we had about 45 minutes to ourselves and after some time enjoying that fact, we now had 20 minutes to just rest. So my head lay against his chest with half my body sprawled on his as we sat in silence. I traced his bare chest with one finger and listened to his breathing start to even out.

“You’re going to send me to sleep doing that.” Lloyd said and I smiled.

“Good, you need some.” I said and he chuckled, brushing back some wet hair from his face.

“Don’t tell my Uncle this, but I’m glad you’re here. I don’t think I’d be this relaxed without you.” Lloyd said and I let his hand take mine and begin playing with my fingers.

“I’m glad I can be of some help, even if I’m here just to ease my own conscious.” I said and he laughed.

“You do know you’re not coming on the next one though?” Lloyd said and I frowned.

“If you’re leaving for a while I am.” I said. “What would you do without me?” I asked and he sighed.

“I don’t know, stress about you. Just less than I would if you were near the action.” Lloyd said and I smiled up at him. “On this mission- You’re just coming with us, okay? You’re not going near my dad or any of his goons.” Lloyd said and I smiled.

“Are you telling me to not run into potential death with those stone things or your father? Because I can do that.” I said and he laughed.

“That is exactly what I’m telling you.” Lloyd said and I smiled, leaning into him. Suddenly I could hear the patter of rain.

“Is it raining?” I asked and he grinned.

“Yep, and the others still have to be on their hands for 15 minutes.” Lloyd said with a big smile and I laughed before the ship rocked to the side suddenly and I looked at Lloyd alarmed. The rain got significantly heavier after this. A sudden burst of thunder sounded on the deck and I couldn’t help the way I jumped out of shock. Less than 5 minutes later we heard ninja yelling.

“I think we should get dressed and head up there.” I told him and he nodded.

It was raining for sure and Lloyd raced out to help his family. I didn’t dare step out into the rain considering how unsteady the boat was. Jay joined me in hanging back as the others held onto the rope that was keeping the sail hoisted.

“Why don’t you help them?!” I questioned and Jay looked embarrassed.

“I don’t have another pair of underwear.” He admitted and I frowned. Before I could properly questioned him, some star fish looking thing jumped on board by my foot. I looked up to see more of them appearing.

“What are these things?!” Cole exclaimed, kicking one off. Kai picked up one and threw it off board.

“I don’t know but if these things manage to get on us we’re going to look like Y/n after Lloyd discovered what a hickey was.” A bucket flung itself into the side of Kai’s head, by my hand not my power.

“To scoop the fish off the ship. They’re eating through the ship if you haven’t noticed!” I told him. And one glitched away from me after it tried to jump at me.

“You’re not improving the mood as much as I thought you would!” Kai yelled back at me and I rolled my eyes.

“I thought ninja had more common sense!” I counter-argued and he flipped me off.

“You’re dating Lloyd! How did you get that idea?!” Kai said and Lloyd smacked him up the back of his head.

“Now is not the time.” Lloyd told him and Kai rubbed his head before grabbing onto the rope again. Jay was forced to go help out considering the others had to try and keep these star things off the boat.

“Star Teeth! Thats what these are and they won’t stop until we have no ship- you have to get them off board!” Misako ran out from the bounty and I shrugged.

“I think we figured that one out.” I told her as I picked up one and chucked it over.

But it was impossible to keep all those star teeth off and we ended up with a ship that was on the verge of sinking. We were also stuck with using buckets to try and drain the ship of excess water. It was amazing we were even still afloat. We were all wet and cold. I was shivering badly, no matter how I tried to hide it by throwing water back into the ocean with a bucket, it was obvious. I would be surprised if I wasn’t ill after this. At the call of my name, I turned to see Lloyd at the top of the stairs to the lower deck and I nodded.

When I got to the top of the stairs, he began filling me in on what was being said about our situation at sea. I nodded, clenching my jaw tightly to try and avoid my teeth chattering. He frowned when he next looked me over. His hair had dried but mine was still damp and heavy. Lloyd raised his hand to hold my cheek causing my face to instantly relax and my teeth began to chatter. He frown deepened and suddenly the palm I was leaning against was oh so warm, I gasped and leaned into it.

“You’re still so cold,” He stated, concerned. I nodded and Lloyd brought me into his chest and wrapped his arms around me. He was so warm. I clung to him, desperately. His head nestled itself in my hair. “Your hair is damp too- you’re going to get sick-“ He fussed and I squeezed him a little.

“You don’t need to worry so much. We’re all cold and wet.” I said and Lloyd shook his head.

“That’s different, we’re conditioned to endure all kinds of states. You spend your time holed up in your dorm room or robbing small stores.” He said and I gasped.

“Hey! I wasnt holed up in that dorm room alone, I think I’ve proven I can handle quite a lot.” I said and he laughed.

“That you have, however, survival doesn’t rely on that. It just enhances it.” He winked and it was my turn to laugh. Then someone called out his name and he sighed before going to let go of me but I held tighter.

“They can wait.” I told him and Lloyd laughed before grabbing my hands that were gripping the back of his gi and brining them in front of us.

“Come on, we’ll go together.” He told me and I grinned.

I expected a lecture of some sort. Instead, we were greeted with the view of a watch tower like lighthouse on a rocky island. Ninja being ninja, docked the ship and headed straight to the door.

“Do we just knock?” I asked and Jay took my words quite literally and knocked. The camera above the door looked down at us, I gave it a little wave but Lloyd just took my hand and put it down. I frowned at him.

“Waving is offensive in some cultures.” He told me and I looked at him weirdly.

“Waving?!” I questioned and he nodded.

“I wish I was lying.” He said and the door was thrown open and an old man appeared. That was not what I was expecting.

“Zane!” I wasn’t expecting that either. The man threw himself onto the nindroid and held him tightly, tears fell from his eyes as he held the man.

“Father…” Zane answered and my eyes widened. What a twist. They separated and stared at each other for a moment. “I thought you were-“

“Dead? I was for a moment.” Oh, it gets better.

“What happened?” Zane asked and an unsettling noise interrupted the man before he could answer.

“Let’s take this inside.” The man told us and quickly ushered us inside, taking one last precautious look out before slamming the door shut and bolting it excessively shut.

[silvery-bluish]

Tell us about Ars, Danny, and Ricardo? What are they like together? Does Ars act differently around Danny as they do Ric? Where do they all stand at the end of Retri?

Haha oh we’re inviting walltext. Sorry for the delay, this took me a few days to write out LOL dropping it beneath a cut bc it's pretty long.

tldr: ricardo means a lot to them and has always meant a lot to them, but theyre real bad at communicating. Daniel makes them better at communicating in some ways but they're very aware they fucked that up before it started. They're stuck in Ortega's apartment and theyre gonna implode dramatically.

Arsinoe and Ricardo have the weight of their past behind them, the 8-odd years of being at its complicate (with a break to be presumed dead) has comfort to it, Ricardo’s part of their normal, it’s like falling back into orbit when they’re near him. But there’s lots of things left unsaid, undefined, unclarified, because they felt they COULDNT in the old days and they certainly feel like they can’t now. Which is part of why they spend most of Retri avoiding him, whoops.

I think Ricardo’s afraid to push them too hard to clarify, these days, bc that might make them run again, and he wasn’t ready to push for things like publicly officially dating, in the Sidestep days. They trust each other in ways that are practically automatic at this point. They’d die for each other. They keep assuming they’re on the same page when they’re in entirely different books.

Arsinoe and Daniel sure don’t have that inertia behind them, so in some ways it’s easier to talk plainly? Daniel’s earnest bluntness and mental openness make Ars answer in kind. It's easier, smaller, maybe, for now, not as entwined as their relationship is with Ricardo, but that's safer, in some ways? They like his determination, his Decision to see the best in people.

They do have the, uh, fact that Arsinoe is So Very Aware that they fucked up his knee at the gala, because at the time he hadn't made it to the list of people they give a shit about and they'd decided that hurting him was the fastest way to be sure he wouldn't get in their way again. Whoops. This affects their interaction with him in two main ways-- they're pretty constantly worrying that they're taking advantage of the fact that he doesn't know - which is also kinda true - and they're hyperaware of not wanting to hurt him again, in a way that means they probably back off a little too fast when they're training which probably makes Daniel think they're going easy on him, sometimes?

So. They won't commit to anything real and firm and solid with either of them, because Arsinoe is very aware that the villain situation means anything they're building right now is going to inevitably fall apart except oops! car crash!! ortega knows theyre a regene and the world didnt end! Arsinoe's staying in Ortega's apartment, because it would feel like taking too much advantage of Daniel to stay in his apartment, and they don't want to leave Los Diablos to get to the Ranch, and Ricardo's apartment has been something like safe for them before so maybe it's safe now--

(They're rapidly running out of excuses to avoid talking about their relationships. I want them to villain reveal before they get anything firmed up relationship-wise, because they are-- very stressed out about building something they want and having it ripped away from them, inevitably. Safer not to name it. Probably going to accidentally imply to the guys theyre ready for a poly relationship talk and then actually hit them with the villain reveal. Sorry All.)