kafkastube

[bestiole-farouche]

Reblog for larger sample size! ❤️

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster Pt.1

Rio: [Okay, so, depending when your birthday falls and when this getaway has been booked for, telling you when we’re told, which is assumedly when you’re like oh I might have a party and he’s like nope, you can’t]

Rio: I’m going on a minibreak for my birthday, thought I better let you know

Buster: Yeah, flights are non-refundable so

Rio: I had to ‘ruin my own surprise’ to find out, sorry

Buster: Of course you did, don’t worry about it

Buster: like I said, I hadn’t booked anything yet

Rio: Good stuff

Buster: As long as you have a good birthday

Rio: Cheers

Rio: sure I will

Buster: See you at Christmas then

Rio: Can’t wait

Buster: Me either

Rio: It’s always good, whatever family drama is happening any given year, no one cares for at least one day

Buster: That’s the spirit, babe

Rio: You know me

Rio: any excuse to be merry

Buster: Right

Rio: [let him go girl, shh]

Buster: [that wasn’t awks at all and his OTT gift isn’t gonna feel so out of the blue or anything after how you left that, oh lads]

Rio: [the way we’re gonna have whiplash about this like what, you don’t hate me again]

Buster: [a very confusing vibe to have to walk into christmas with]

Rio: [I’m like do you say something or wait because lowkey it’s such a massive thing you’d be better to wait in person but also hello, what do I say, oh lads lol]

Buster: [thank god that there are gonna be so many people there so you can avoid each other for a bit without it being obvious until you collect yourselves/have some dutch courage]

Rio: [and people do start their merriment in the AM like savages on Christmas so by the time lunch is there and been consumed, we’re all a little cray, even the children with the sheer excitement lol]

Buster: [He is defs one of those savages because clearly dreading having to see her and also Liam knowing she’s done absolutely fuck all about this and Edam are having an adorable fam christmas moment right in front of y’all’s eyes]

Rio: [Mhmm, there isn’t weird energy at all, totally not simultaneously avoiding and staring at Liam like why and why, not to mention doing the same with Buster for different reasons, what a day, don’t really blame you for getting drunker than you normally would]

Buster: [but if he’s a dick to Liam in some way, she’ll have to say something/take him aside before everyone else is like ??! cos can you not please]

Rio: [a good place to start, at least there’s plenty of places within a pub so areas are quieter than others without it being like why are you chilling here ‘cos sometimes we all need a breather from family fun times lol, not wanting to just push you away so lowkey pulling you to the bar like let’s make you a drink rn haha it’s all fun and games, nothing to see here people]

Buster: [looking at her like excuse you when they get there because he’s the one who pulls her around places usually lol ‘What’ll it be?’ like y’all really are here for drinks but we know that’s not the case because if it was he’d have just got her one she likes without asking]

Rio: [‘please don’t’ quietly but firmly, because the last thing we need is you and Liam having any kind of fight, not even answering about the drink because not the point but we’re not going to stop you making your own]

Buster: [‘I swore I wouldn’t hit him’ like I haven’t and therefore I’ve done nothing wrong]

Rio: [‘you said you’d stay away from him, it’s not hard’ because we know they’re in their own bubble, better and worse]

Buster: [‘for you’ because we’ve noticed you hardcore avoiding that man and also us, obvs]

Rio: [shrug like yes? Like you’re really owning that decision and it doesn’t just feel necessary to the point the opposite is impossible ‘there’s so many people here’ gesturing off to the main function room where basically everyone is, as if we can just pick anyone else and have a gay old time]

Buster: [‘not enough’ because the tea is that there could never be enough people around anywhere at any time to make it easy for him to ignore her or Liam rn but soz hun you’re less important as we’re blurting this out]

Rio: [we can never just outright lie, even if it would make the concept of y’all ignoring/getting over each other so much easier, we just can’t, soz ‘I know’ looking over at said room of fam now, thinking ‘may as well have a [some festive twist on a cocktail ‘cos the only one I can think of is a snowball and that’s a lot to commit to so I won’t be specific lol]’]

Buster: [making that drink for her like the gentleman he is as though he isn’t heartbroken she didn’t spend her birthday with him]

Rio: [aren’t we all boy, aren’t we all, it was clearly a terrible trip before the being outshone fiasco ‘that must’ve been so much money…’ literally as you’re thinking about all this because you have no clue how to bring this up so may as well be accidentally]

Buster: [‘that isn’t what matters’ soz but he doesn’t care about money that’s his level of privilege]

Rio: [‘but it does mean something’ like you wouldn’t just spend a load of money on a literal holiday for anyone, boy, we’re not convinced]

Buster: [‘I meant what I said’ because he did about wanting her bday to be memorable, not making that clear but we know you’ll remember]

Rio: [‘it was me who didn’t stick to what I said’ the I’M SORRY thankfully not being shouted but you know it’s there in how we sound about it ‘I don’t know how to say thank you, though’ ‘cos the word is not enough]

Buster: [‘your birthday should be special’ calling her special and making it blatant she deserves it specifically with the amount of emphasis on the your and there’s also the unspoken no matter what/if I’m there or not and you don’t need to say sorry or thanks being all in his tone and mannerisms rn]

Rio: [‘it’s not like it’s your job to make sure it happens, shouldn’t be’ because we know it really was you doing the most there, despite this]

Buster: [‘I wasn’t going to let [whatever her bf is called whether he’s got his name right or it’s just close enough because not even trying to be shady or funny here with it you’re simply that irrelevant to us hun]’ as if her flop bf could frankly but you’re too !! about it to be cocky ‘it definitely shouldn’t be his’]

Rio: [‘it isn’t, wasn’t’ too fast but we don’t have to be nice about your trip now because you’ve shown your true colours since with all the fallout so ‘I’d have rather stayed home’ like legitimately would have rather have been with our family than what that turned out to be, and that’s not shade by comparison it’s like, at least my mum would’ve given a shit and got me nice things etc]

Buster: [‘You could’ve-’ stopping himself because he’s not so drunk he actually believes she could’ve just told him what a flop this bf was being and dropped it all and gone off with him]

Rio: [‘I’m not good at ending things’ as a fact because yeah, we should’ve but we would’ve felt too bad and this felt easier but it’s not like that did her any favours in the long run]

Buster: [‘I don’t have a problem with it’ because he is that cold bitch or so he projects, we can drop our flop sister like a stone and be unfazed, ignore the whole Chlo/James/Jay situation etc etc, saying this as if he could’ve dumped her bf for her, I lol]

Rio: [‘what’s that like?’ as a genuine question and not a slam]

Buster: [‘necessary’ it sounds like he’s dissing her and calling her a soft touch or something but that’s just how he feels with the life he’s been living]

Rio: [do a breath out like yeah, probably]

Buster: [doing his own like a little sigh ‘go and enjoy yourself, yeah?’ meaning on this ski trip because I doubt very much you have yet with all that bf drama going on]

Rio: [thinking he means right now like oh, okay ‘to the point’ like lol, I got it]

Buster: [doing a wrist grab to stop her from going as if she was gonna leave rn immediately before he can stop himself, excuse us everyone because it’s so soft but so !! ‘No, go skiing’ in such an oh you manner]

Rio: [do a little soft lol because truly not what we thought you were saying ‘right now? Can I have time to pack?’]

Buster: [shaking his head like nope leave get out, but he’s clearly as amused ‘I’ll send you [however many outfits she would need for however long this trip is, just being listed cos you know he’s thought hard about every aspect of this trip and imagined her there in every possible scenario not at all casually and we’ve gotta spell that out to her]’ as if that’s nbd and not the most daddy vibe]

Rio: [sitting down as he’s speaking and not taking your eyes off him like you are literally entranced by this story he’s telling you right now because it’s too everything you’re about ‘you’ve already sent me outfits’ as if any of those date night lewks will serve you well for a ski hol but you have to remind him so he doesn’t think you’ve forgot either]

Buster: [‘you’ve already worn them’ which sounds like outfit repeating is a crime and that’s the only reason they won’t do but likewise gotta remind her that he’s seen the pics of when she has for the absolute mood that is]

Rio: [‘I wore [one of our faves] on my birthday’ really blurting that out but we have to because the point is we were thinking about you, not whatever we were doing]

Buster: [giving her a compliment really specific to that particular outfit whether the colour brings out her eyes or it’s flattering in some other way, the point is, he’s letting her know he remembers said outfit vividly because he does every outfit she tried on and he bought that day + leaning in to say this basically in her ear so nobody else hears it so that’s an added mood]

Rio: [closing your eyes because if you look at him right now you know it’s going to be THE most ‘I’ve missed you’ because something you could say, not technically a cause for concern]

Buster: [how innocent that is not would make him die though, saying her name with so much feeling in response but quiet enough it’s just for her thankfully]

Rio: [reaching out to hold his hand because there’s a bar y’all are basically hid behind so it’s not gonna be noticed and maybe you’re just trying to move him so you can squeeze past on the off chance it was ‘will you forgive me about my birthday?’ seriously because we do feel bad about it]

Buster: [looking down at their hands and back up at her as if she only did it to be forgiven but he can’t help but play with her fingers the exact same way he did when they were on their dinner date because he knows she’s being serious actually ‘Will you spend the next one with me?’ since we all remember when he said he’d spend his 19th with her, so promise to do the same, thank you]

Rio: [a face like who, me? So innocent it is now the opposite, nodding SO enthusiastically ‘if I have a new boyfriend, I’ll dump him’ so casual, not like this paired with us resting our other hand on your leg is giving the most loved up vibes ever ‘I swear’]

Buster: [‘Don’t get a new boyfriend’ as if that’s so casual and not the most possessive thing you’ve ever said, boy, and paired with him doing the kind of move where he’s acting like he has to get past/go behind her to reach something on this bar purely so he can brush up and press against her]

Rio: [we’re pushing back against you because there’s no world in which we’re capable of doing anything but ‘I don’t want one’ on the gasp you also HAVE to do; like boyfriends just happen to you, kinda, but the what we actually want is blatant and there’s no point denying that]

Buster: [meanwhile we can’t deny the noise that’s escaping from him when he tries to answer her by saying good or whatever he was gonna say, thank god this pub is noisy and full of peeps always when y’all are around each other, it wouldn’t be loud but there’s no styling it out if anyone else heard it]

Rio: [looking back at him like you didn’t realise how in his way you were like oh no, flipping round to face him to do the dance of moving him one way and yourself another like there we go, lemme help you but really you’re just pressing against him in another way ft eye contact]

Buster: [I love this for you both, dangerous and ridiculous though it is and we’ve gotta add to it him lifting her up so she can reach something because she is smol and that’s believable, not at all just seeing how many positions y’all can be in and how it feels, nope]

Rio: [acting like the noise you’re making is you struggling to reach something as you stretch and not what we all know that it is, pass whatever random thing you’ve now picked up to him ‘teamwork’ like you’re just getting on exceptionally well and this is very platonic and you’re not holding the thing between your chest and his so you’re that close]

Buster: [also sitting her on the bar at one point like she’s so in your way you’ve gotta for a sec but we all know the real reason and if you wanted her out of your way sir you wouldn’t be standing as close as you are still]

Rio: [never wearing a long enough dress/skirt for all this so we know that you can see a lot right now and we’re absolutely fine with that and our face is only red because it’s warm with all these people around, grab a bag of crisps and share them with him by popping them in his mouth at random intervals]

Buster: [I’m so relieved that those crisps are shutting him up somewhat though it won’t stop him asking her ‘Do you need me to take you outside for some air?’ like that’s not TOO dangerous and I forbid it lol, just being a concerned cousin btw, if anyone’s listening in haha]

Rio: [putting his hand on your forehead like am I hot, do I feel hot? When you know you do because you casually feel like you’re on fire ‘it’s the wine’ like wine is a code now because of your dinner date shenanigans, wrapping your own arms around his neck to help yourself down off this bar because any way you can touch him and get him to touch you without it being ‘too far’ is what we must do in this moment]

Buster: [managing to stop himself from going too far with touching her entire face and neck despite how much he wants to because he does have that opportunity to help her down from the bar that he’s ofc making the most of and he’s also shamelessly gonna put an ice cube in her mouth because again can’t get away with rubbing it all over her body but it could just be another crisp or a moment like it, so we are kidding ourselves here]

Rio: [having to hold his fingers between your lips, even for a split second, because yeah, you could be fakeout biting him for bants, but we’re barely even thinking about the excuses at this point]

Buster: [y’all are spiralling and I can’t even blame you with how insane the levels of tension between you have been for the longest time, but thank god there are loads of family members around to cockblock y’all from going outside anywhere together without even realising that’s what they’re doing because we simply wouldn’t be able to stop you from hooking up rn otherwise]

Rio: [mhmm, too much family, not enough randoms and distraction, like some child is gonna come over and want crisps themselves in a minute or an adult is gonna want another drink, so you have to stop, because we’re literally tugging at the hem of whatever he’s wearing on his top half, like are we trying to get you to take a layer off because you’re hot too or are we simply pulling you into us]

Buster: [I’m too here for this I’m like yes do it, Junie no, we cannot, I’m not rewriting st paddy’s it was great, get away from each other for a bit, thank you]

Rio: [as long as you don’t fully hookup, and lbr, we know you’re both into the idea of getting away with as much as you can in front of the fam so, go take your moments to calm down before it’s not undetectable and we know it won’t be long before you gravitate back together]

Buster: [mhmm we all know you would have been getting up to shit at the christmas dinner table if you weren’t trying to ignore each other at that point, we’re gonna have to say some of the fam get together to play cards or something so you can have a moment like that cos I love a cliche, not soz]

Rio: [that’s a very real vibe, for now, to separate you for long enough, gonna have to say Grace has found and thus cornered you to paint nails or something because that’s not something you can do together without raising eyebrows]

Buster: [me immediately like stay away from Nancy please Grace, knowing what’s coming for y’all]

Rio: [knowing that that kicks off the upcoming Summer, ew, literally like 12, grow up, yes we would throw your nails under the bus right now but we aren’t to know how strange you’re gonna get lmao]

Buster: [do anything but fight Liam to the death, meanwhile, Buster, I know you lowkey don’t wanna spend time with anyone else ever but find something]

Rio: [it’s the way that once we allow ourselves to start, we literally can’t stop checking for him, like he’s not going anywhere and yet 👀]

Buster: [it’s so mutual though, to the point that someone really should’ve clocked it, so many of y’all like Tess and Ali are out here calling themselves observant and knowing but here we are again]

Rio: [the lies we tell ourselves like this hasn’t happened before lmao, oh lads]

Buster: [they gotta be on the same team for whatever game this fam are playing so they can sit really close together with bent heads and all that jazz as well as being on opposite ends of the table for something else, hitting all those poss cliches]

Rio: [absolutely, how you’re going to concentrate in any of these games is another thing entirely but you have to try]

Buster: [this boy is so competitive he’ll find a way to still win somehow lol, god bless]

Rio: [love that for you, as does this girl because we’re not here to downplay any of your achievements just because people think you’re too cocky for their taste]

Buster: [not soz he is actually smart and hardworking and good at things and not just cocky because he’s hot and rich or for no reason whatsoever]

Rio: [we’re here for him for so many reasons and not just because he’s hot and rich, soz haters, and we will have a glorious time despite the still palpable tension]

Buster: [there’s nothing you both love more than doing the most in front of this fam, like we said, and every chance to push every possible moment as far as they can is being taken during every game that’s being played, for sure]

Rio: [sorry it’s basically their kink, we wouldn’t have got this far otherwise]

Buster: [exactly and soz but she’s also had a shit bday and all round shit time lately so she deserves this, imo]

Rio: [my boo says let her have her incest lmao but seriously, the way we’re no longer freaking out about Liam or our breakup, wasn’t going to happen any other way huns]

Buster: [nobody talk to me btw about how he’s putting protective distance between her and Liam at all times in such a deliberately subtle way so that nobody else will be able to say anything but he knows she is and feels safe because that’s so adorable and important]

Rio: [it’s so fine, not at all killing us because of course we can feel it]

Buster: [like, if there was any doubt about how deeply he actually cares, we can’t act like it’s purely a lust thing when he’s doing all this thoughtful chivalry] 

Rio: [oh we know y’all are in love, even if you’re now on the, we just wanna fuck, train of thought to rationalise it]

Buster: [the question is, can we think of any more xmas traditions and activities y’all can use to flirt indecently lmao] 

Rio: [hmm, what else do we do on xmas, it is mostly drinking and games and telly, there could be a movie put on and y’all can either watch and be cosy or use it as a chance to piss off for a minute whilst most are distracted?]

Buster: [I was thinking that because pubs have tvs, also karaoke is always an option that you could use to piss off for a bit because he’s not gonna wanna be involved in that haha] 

Rio: [a good shout, even if it’s gotta be all xmas songs for those of y’all wanting to belt ‘em out]

Buster: [so let’s do the best of both worlds and say you watch the film but piss off during karaoke though you might not be able to be as cosy and couply as you want during said film depending what babies and young kids exist because we all know they gravitate towards Rio because she’s that maternal gal] 

Rio: [that works, I don’t think there’s a huge amount of kids here because it’s the Bibi part of Gen 4 which is mostly non-fam peeps, Libi is nearly 1, Ro is preggo and Toni and Archie exist, that’s about it? Because the younger part of Gen 3 are still tweens, basically so yeah]

Buster: [how awks she’d feel around Libi rn makes me sad] 

Rio: [it is sad because you’re so the bitch to be after cuddles normally so it’s noticeable but literally Toni is the only one old enough to be toddling about and I’m sure you’re kinda clingy to your mother for obvious reasons so]

Buster: [you’re welcome for the lack of fam cockblock for once though lads] 

Rio: [it’s a relatively good time for y’all to be sneaking, unintentional but very helpful lmao, like to think you have a spot by the fire for that christmassy cliche]

Buster: [yes, I love that, also a good reason for y’all to wanna leave that spot when karaoke starts because it’s just too hot by a fire] 

Rio: [it’s a very good excuse that is more legitimate than just pissing off because he doesn’t smoke and we don’t smoke weed to the level we need to do it Xmas day thank you; but whilst the movie is on no one is gonna raise an eyebrow at blankets and being closer to share said blanket because that’s the point]

Buster: [you’d honestly look weirder if you weren’t snuggling is the excuse, tis the vibe] 

Rio: [not sorry we’re taking this and running with it because when else are we having the excuse to be lying our head on his chest]

Buster: [enjoy how wild his heartbeat is because there’s no controlling that however calm and collected he acts all the time] 

Rio: [we really would be because if you needed any confirmation he was also in this and not just playing, there you are, squeeze his hand for that hard same]

Buster: [so glad that a blanket means he can put his arms around her so tight without anyone knowing about it because that’s what’s going happen] 

Rio: [making a happy little squished noise like when you are bear hugged, but literally not louder than the volume of this TV so only he’s gonna hear that]

Buster: [moving like we’re just settling and getting comfy but really he just wants her to keep making happy noises only he can hear because we know he’s so about it] 

Rio: [we definitely are, it is who we are, wrapping our arms around your middle in this snuggle, looking up at him]

Buster: [can’t really get away with her being fully on his lap but getting as close to that as we can, she’s on his leg definitely, very unintentional santa vibes of me there lol] 

Rio: [soz we can’t sit still because you know exactly how we feel about that festive vibe]

Buster: [doing the playing with her necklace move again from their date but this time moving the clasp back round to the back of her neck and really doing the most to touch it and her hair + breath on it which isn’t even deliberate at this point] 

Rio: [thank god for the cosy vibe because we are red as fuck right now, crossing our legs so we’re even more sitting on you without it being super apparent we’ve really got comfortable]

Buster: [gotta touch her leg and just leave his hand there when she’s drawn all that attention to them, can’t not] 

Rio: [little sounds from the effort of not moving excessively to move his hand further]

Buster: [don’t want her to shh ever but doing one in her ear purely because of how hot it is] 

Rio: [pushing your head into his chest like you’re headbutting him for shhing you but again it’s the effort of having any chill]

Buster: [gotta make his own sound about it, we’ll pretend it’s like she’s winded him with that headbutt but it’s so not] 

Rio: [tap his lips literally as fast as that to shh him so it looks purely like bants and not because you wanna feel his breath again]

Buster: [shamelessly pulling at her dress under this blanket the way she did his top before as if it’s not short af and barely there already because of how she’s sitting] 

Rio: [the intake of breath we do as we instinctively push against you, cannot let it out casually]

Buster: [this boy just throwing what caution there was to the wind and bringing her the rest of the way into his lap because duh] 

Rio: [having to cover your mouth like you’re stifling a yawn so the ‘fuck’ doesn’t fully escape because we are dying now]

Buster: [as per it’s beyond mutual and he’s just trying to fully bury his head into her neck and hair, regardless of how not at all casual that is rn, saying his own ‘Jesus Christ’ so quietly but so !!! and on that baby’s bday as well, sir, putting that necklace clasp in his mouth for a sec, blink and you’d miss it but she obvs will not] 

Rio: [gripping onto his legs so hard under this blanket because we can’t handle how this feels and how you’re acting rn AT ALL ‘Buster’ like you’re just whispering for him to stop hogging the blanket or something and not that your brain has malfunctioned at this contact]

Buster: [he can’t even say her name back rn because he’s too !! we’re all just trying to cum and simultaneously not cum in front of our entire extended fam and by all I mean you pair of utter feral savages, the way he has so dramatically manoeuvred her so that they can make the most intense eye contact for a sec because he can’t speak, if any of y’all see that, no you don’t] 

Rio: [it is only sheer dumb luck you do not kiss him because this proximity and intensity demands it but luckily you remember in time and your head lands by his ear instead ‘I want this’]

Buster: [literally, it’s a miracle you both can still keep some awareness of where you are and the things you absolutely can’t get away with, almost proud of you tbh ‘I know what you want’ because he do and he wants it just as much, please whisper that, thanks so much, even though you are moving slightly to make the point and that’s not very subtle] 

Rio: [‘please’ like it’s feasible and you can when you’re already both too close to losing control here]

Buster: [‘we can’t’ as he’s continuing to behave in a way that totally contradicts what he just said]

Rio: [‘you can’ moving further back on him like see]

Buster: [when you were gonna do another shh in her ear like no no don’t be silly but then she moves and he’s dying and trying not to MOAN so he ends up just grazing her earlobe with his teeth for a sec, very much like the quick bite of the necklace clasp, thank god for all her hair so it just looks like you’re trying to whisper very quietly and be considerate]

Rio: [biting the inside of your cheeks so hard because it’s like you passed on the MOAN with that earlobe attention, shamelessly letting his body entirely support yours at this point as a must]

Buster: [he knows what she’s doing because of course he does and even though he isn’t allowed to hear her MOAN fully right here or right now he cannot help desperately wanting to because this is the feral point they’ve reached, so obviously moving in a basically involuntary way like please do it]

Rio: [soz we have to touch ourself because there’s just no way to stop it, its not like you can see from your POV because the point is no one should be able to, moving his hand to his lap like go on]

Buster: [you’ve got this far, boy, there’s likewise no way you’re gonna stop now and be like um no that’s my limit]

Rio: [making your little whimpering noises every time you make accidental contact here]

Buster: [he can’t even shh her any more soz everyone but he’s as close to losing it himself]

Rio: [excuse us everyone nothing to see here, just doing our best to silently masturbate]

Buster: [mhmm, not like the way he’s breathing on her skin again is indecent af because he really wants to kiss her and can’t, no no, and it’s not as if you’ve set yourself an impossible task here]

Rio: [not like it’s entirely too close and would be so easy to take this even further but you cannot]

Buster: [you’re trying to hold onto that last fleeting piece of self control and we respect it]

Rio: [if this film ends before y’all, you’re gonna be fuming]

Buster: [realistically I doubt that even with how careful and near silent you’ve gotta be with all your touching you’re both so ridiculously turned on rn it’s only a matter of time]

Rio: [being able to feel everything you’re doing is all it would take, never mind the situation of where you are and how you’ve been all day ‘you-’]

Buster: [Exactly, I’m honestly surprised it didn’t happen as soon as y’all started touching yourselves, lowkey impressive of you both tbf ‘no, you’ the childishness of that response isn’t lost on me and isn’t reminding me of y’all’s truth or dare moment, it’s fine]

Rio: [just saying ‘you’ over and over, not doing more than mouthing it but with increasing desperation in our expression]

Buster: [whispering her name back the way he could not when he was too overwhelmed as such a definitive no, you because !!!]

Rio: [‘holy fuck’ under your breath because you will never not react the hardest to him saying your name]

Buster: [just like he will never not be so into the way she reacts to it or over getting to say it in this context]

Rio: [‘give it to me’ because a thing you could say if he’d taken your phone or snacks or anything because we need to make you cum and we know how loud in comparison we could say that will get you because it does us]

Buster: [it really would, she knows him so well, you’re gonna have to like fake a sneeze or something sir idk because of how you’re gonna move when you do and there’s no stilling that with sheer force of will]

Rio: [a casual ‘coughing fit’ so we can smack you on the back, by which I mean hold you SO tight whilst we ride this out with you]

Buster: [I was literally like aww as if that was the most romantic thing ever, calm down Junie, a great idea though my boo]

Rio: [calm down is right lmao, I don’t even know how you’re gonna]

Buster: [mhmm, take the rest of this film to try and recover from how intense all that was, physically if not emotionally, because yeah idk how you’re gonna even begin to process any of that]

Rio: [like really, we cannot just sit here and finish this film with y’all like that didn’t just happen so get up, even if you have no real aim of where you are going, just take a sec]

Buster: [soz that you can’t also immediately get up because that’d be weird so you actually are gonna have to sit there and pretend that didn’t happen and hope the fam are engrossed in this film enough that nobody catches your eye or anything because idk how you wouldn’t simply pass away if they did, you’ll have to wait for a while before you go to the bathroom and clean yourself up, but please eventually do, hoping you don’t cross paths with Rio because that’d be awks]

Rio: [soz only one of you can piss off at a time and we moved first because we needed to, nobody come talk to us, thank you]

Buster: [Especially not Edie or Libi or Nancy thanks so much]

Rio: [At least Nancy is the only real candidate for that, even though we’re gonna wanna literally die for that, she’s oblivious]

Buster: [too real and he can’t even come and save you this time because can’t be in the proximity to you rn soz gal]

Rio: [let her brag about her presents probably like she’s a child, you don’t need to really listen, be in your own head about what just happened there and what’s happening now]

Buster: [the other girl from the posh school who I ended up friends with after my german work experience but did not like did that to me once and we were also literally 18, girl no, I hope you gals aren’t propping the bar up because when he’s cleaned himself up he’s gonna drink some more, bad idea though that is and if y’all are he’s gonna have to go direct to the cellar and we all know what’s happening down there on st paddys so that will send me if that’s where you end up hiding for a bit, boy]

Rio: [y’all can be outside ‘cos I’m sure you smoke, all posh girls do and you have a complex about trying to be skinny so you’re welcome boy]

Buster: [again, someone should really question why he’s drinking like a savage again but in this fam that isn’t gonna happen, we all know who your dad is]

Rio: [we all know y’all got your blindspots and this is deffo one of them lmao]

Buster: [I’m sure you and Nancy are still beefing so you can’t steal her stash this time, unlucky hun]

Rio: [when you simultaneous want to talk to him but also never have to see him again so you gotta say something, good idea or nah

Rio: Don’t be weird, yeah

Buster: I’m not, I’m being merry

Rio: I didn’t mean you were

Rio: just that there’s no need to

Buster: You either think I already am or I’m about to be, neither are nice of you

Rio: No, I don’t, don’t question my niceness

Rio: ‘cos I meant weird specifically around me, not in general

Rio: not that anyone here would notice anyway…

Buster: specifically around you is what makes it not nice

Rio: It’d be rude of you to ignore me, yes

Buster: No, it’s rude of you to imply I’m going to ignore you now

Rio: Okay, rude of you but understandable

Rio: I just asked you not to, really

Buster: Understandable because you’re assuming I got what I want and that means I’ll just dismiss you

Rio: Nah, that’s not what I’m saying

Rio: it’s fine, you’re fine, I’m fine

Buster: You’ve called me out on my bullshit for using the word you just used 3 times in a row

Rio: I’m trying not to be awkward, because we don’t need to, that’s all

Rio: but I’d get it if you were, how’s that for better wording?

Buster: You don’t have to try so hard to be or not be anything

Rio: Oh, great

Buster: You know what I mean

Rio: that in trying not to be weird, I’ve been massively weird, yep, thank you

Buster: Well, you are talking to my sister, of all people

Rio: You think that was my idea?

Rio: I was cornered

Buster: You’re allowed to tell her to fuck off

Buster: What else is Christmas for?

Rio: you could, sure

Rio: I can’t

Buster: Fine, I’ll do it for you

Buster: hold on

Rio: Not what I meant, no

Buster: Still, you’d be lying if you said you don’t want me to

Rio: In the fantasy where your sister isn’t also my cousin and someone I’m gonna have to see and talk to, as well as the rest of them

Buster: No, in our real lives where she’s a fucked up person

Rio: I’m not in the best place to judge her now

Buster: Don’t, it’s not even close to a similar situation

Rio: It’s not but it’s still not good

Buster: It’s not a crime, there’s no need to punish yourself as if you’ve committed one

Rio: I’m not, I can’t avoid her any more than I could before though, it’s unrelated but true

Buster: Yes you can

Rio: If I acted like you, people would notice

Rio: it might seem like everyone’s completely oblivious but

Buster: You care more about making a scene, when it suits you, than you do holding people accountable

Rio: When ‘holding people accountable’ achieves nothing, sure

Buster: Playing fake nice achieves nothing

Rio: I’m fake now

Buster: Yeah, sometimes

Rio: I don’t have time to not get along with people just because

Buster: It isn’t just because, it’s distancing yourself from someone for a valid reason

Rio: You have to live with her, for the time being, I see her occasionally, of course it’s different for you

Buster: Jesus, at least counter what I said with your own valid excuse

Rio: This isn’t about Nancy

Buster: Not exclusively

Rio: I’m not dumb, I know you’re talking about the Liam thing

Buster: It isn’t just about that either

Buster: it’s about you, putting yourself, and how you actually feel, last all the time

Rio: How can you even say that when I just did exactly what I wanted, despite how much of a problem it would be for everyone else if they ever found out

Buster: You did the opposite of what you wanted on your birthday, to keep the peace

Rio: It doesn’t matter now, he’s dumping me anyway

Buster: Of course it matters, it’s your whole mindset

Rio: You are too drunk to be trying to fix my life

Buster: Tell me to shut up like you mean it, at least

Rio: I dunno why you’re being so mean to me

Buster: I’m trying to help you

Rio: I don’t need help, but it’s always nice to know how shit you think I am

Buster: You don’t think you do because you don’t see it as a problem

Rio: I’m not sitting here telling you your whole personality is a problem

Buster: Mine is only a problem for other people, it doesn’t cause any for me

Rio: That’s really nice

Buster: I told you, I’m not, and it wouldn’t get either of us anywhere right now if I was

Rio: We aren’t going anywhere

Buster: You wishing I would stop doesn’t mean I’ve hit a wall

Rio: Shh, go drink some more

Buster: Have a drink with me instead of being passive aggressive as if I’m one of your least favourite relatives that have cornered you

Rio: Are you sure?

Buster: About how much you still like me? Very sure

Rio: You’re such an idiot

Buster: I know your mouth is hurting from having to stay so quiet

Rio: you got that one right, okay

Buster: if I was an idiot I wouldn’t have come up with a fun solution that’ll numb and clean it simultaneously

Rio: 🙄😏

Rio: that’s the excuse, huh

Buster: I don’t deal in excuses, I deal in opportunities and this one is perfect for getting to see you

Rio: and if anyone asks why I was biting the inside of my cheek…?

Buster: Why would they?

Rio: I mean, don’t ask if you don’t wanna know, pretty obvious

Rio: so I’ll have a drink with you but I don’t know about you looking at me

Buster: Are you daring me to make [her fave drink] with my eyes closed?

Rio: That would be pretty impressive

Buster: It’s too late though, I’ve already made it and it’s waiting for you here, like I am

Rio: so let me distract your sister quickly or she’ll be asking you to make her her own drink when she follows me

Buster: She can ask but she won’t get

Rio: just me

Buster: There’s different rules for you, our own rules

Rio: I like that

Buster: But it’s a shame they have limits or I’d have another solution for how sore your mouth is

Rio: It’s rude to tease me with what I can’t have

Buster: It’s not my fault if you aren’t using the mistletoe to your advantage

Rio: it’s a bit late to go ‘round the party and make that look like it’s not personal, you could’ve set out the ground rules earlier

Buster: You could be taller and then I wouldn’t have to be the one reaching up to steal it

Rio: Are you being serious

Buster: No, I don’t really want you to grow [however many inches lol]

Rio: 😅 Not the part I was referring to

Buster: Well, I seriously want to kiss you, I thought that was obvious

Rio: If anything was going to change your mind, it would’ve been what we just did, that’s what I thought

Buster: Did it change your mind?

Rio: not at all

Rio: and I would have to die if you felt the opposite

Buster: Please don’t, it would definitely ruin Christmas for me

Rio: And everyone else’s, not to big myself up or anything

Rio: I want to kiss you so badly

Buster: Everyone knows I only care about myself, babe

Rio: That’s not true

Buster: How else do you explain the fact that I got you something but decided against bringing it after you didn’t shower me with thanks for your birthday present?

Rio: I didn’t want to just send a message, it didn’t feel like enough

Rio: then everything blew up with [flop boyf]

Buster: Fuck him and your lack of communication, I’m gonna go home and get it

Rio: And leave me? I just convinced Nance she NEEDED to do karaoke

Buster: We’ll have our drink together first

Rio: [Come join him at this bar like oh hey, as if there’s anything casual about how !! you are to be this close to him again]

Buster: [passing her this drink that was not at all casually waiting for her with such a lingering touch because if Nancy is doing karaoke there’s no way everyone isn’t watching how hilarious that is]

Rio: [I dread to think like oh honey you humiliating yourself but you pop off hun because we’re too busy being distracted and having a moment, cheers with eye contact as you sip always]

Buster: [normally he’d love nothing more than to witness Nancy’s humiliation but that has not even registered to him as happening and he could not care less, soz our only priority is LOOKING at her] 

Rio: [‘you know how much I love my birthday present, don’t you?’ putting a hand on his shoulder ‘cos that could be casual enough but it is not right now]

Buster: [‘As much as you’ll love your christmas present’ cocky but true, whatever you’ve bought her, I’m trying to think of something that could be a reminder of y’all’s date but like I don’t wanna just hand her a bottle of wine]

Rio: [‘you don’t have to go get it’ but not in a I DON’T WANT IT way just like, I don’t need it if you don’t wanna go, btw, leaning ourself against your side, so casual, sipping, not LOOKING at you every chance we get]

Buster: [‘of course I do, I should’ve given it to you as soon as we got here’ because kicking himself that he didn’t bring it, we know why you didn’t but it’s bought and wrapped and everything]

Rio: [‘maybe not that soon’ like we had to sit through the meal and socialising with other people, because we know your gifting slaps and we’ll be in no mood for any of that nonsense after ‘give it to me in private, somehow’ looking around like I know there’s people everywhere but]

Buster: [leaning against her like a lil nudge because we know exactly what you mean but he’s also impatient af ‘You should come with me, you can open it there’ that’s how you know he’s drunk just suggesting a casual trip the baze gaff as if she has any business going with him when he says to them he’s going back for a sec for something he forgot/needs]

Rio: [when everything in you wants to grab his hand and run basically but you also know what would happen and are thinking over every possible thing it could mean for you both, biting the side of your mouth unthinkingly then being like ow lol ‘you wouldn’t want to come back’ after a while because true, neither would we]

Buster: [when he just knows, drunk or not, that she’s biting her mouth even before the ow reaction so doing the softest don’t gesture in the form of how he’s touching her wrist before he grabs some ice off the bar and puts it in her mouth the way he did earlier except not because it’s so lovingly, and all this is the lull of time before she speaks again ‘we don’t have to’ you very much do have to come back though, soz hun]

Rio: [as if you weren’t thinking about kissing him before, now it is ALL you can think about as you’re letting him take care of you with the biggest hearteyes ‘you only leave early when you have somewhere else to be’ because neither of you is a, I now wish to snuggle at home with a hot chocolate and a TV special type, so yeah, it’s not being bought]

Buster: [‘I’ll lie’ sir you cannot Nancy will know even if nobody else does that you don’t actually have plans]

Rio: [‘What if your parents or sisters come back?’]

Buster: [‘Ava wants to be here and my parents have to lie that they do too for slightly longer’ not mentioning Nancy because she can clearly be heard doing this karaoke and we know the messy flop isn’t going home early ever]

Rio: [the cinematic vibe of her just wailing in the background is tres amusing, thus we have to do a little giggle because wow, just looking at him like can we, I don’t think we can but maybe ‘you’re hard to say no to, you know’]

Buster: [it’s giving that gal singing when her little brother is absolutely losing it and I’m so amused, like, they couldn’t be more in love here, he’s giving hearteyes and a half at how adorable her giggle is while that performance is going on ‘give in to me then’ didn’t have to say that in such an intense way either did you sir]

Rio: [😳 ‘I want to’ the tone underlying how much of an understatement those three words feels to us ‘I want what you want’]

Buster: [I’m sorry that I simply refuse to let this happen, lads, she’s gonna have to have some kind of sibling crisis or something that starts occurring right that very sec so they don’t run, lord knows there’s enough of you and it makes his point of her putting everyone else first even more valid]

Rio: [it’s easily done and plausible, you can be snatched away by anyone literally right now, we don’t need to specify or have it be any sort of actual drama, just family nonsense]

Buster: [the point is, it’s a dose of reality before she gets chance to get carried away and plot device to send him on his own and separate y’all even though he’ll be lowkey fuming and more in the mood to throw it at her now lol, sulk on your way there and back hun, you have time]

Rio: [hence I better not even message you when this inevitably gets resolved before you’re back because we know what you’re going to think to that happening lol]

Buster: [mhmm we all know it’s not that deep and you should’ve just said fuck it and gone but it just isn’t who you are, at least him needing to go back to the baze gaff is more believable now he’s lowkey angry af because it’s like oh you really are annoyed you don’t have such and such and absolutely should go and get it yeah you big grump]

Rio: [everyone like you go calm down sir and we’re just stuck here now like thanks guys, definitely knocking back more drinks ourself]

Buster: [she’s gonna have time to get drunker herself and level the playing field here because he isn’t rushing back the way he would’ve when he first said about going to grab it, he’s probably gonna take twice as long as he should and I’m definitely gonna say that he has a massive row with his flop twin when he does return because no he has not calmed down enough, though he did try, and I’m sure you’ll say something bitchy or whatever gal if you’re outside smoking again but because you’re also a diva you’ll carry it on when he tries to walk away and just go inside]

Rio: [big yikes, when you know this mood is your fault but also if you intervene, it’d have to be you taking Nance away to bitch and that’s also going to piss him off so you’re just watching like I hope an adult tells you to shh Nance because I’m not able to put myself in the middle of this one]

Buster: [I’m so sorry baze you don’t need your children going at it to the level they are when you already don’t wanna be here, at least they can threaten Nancy with being taken home like a child if she doesn’t stop acting like one because how nasty this would and could be getting is a BIG yikes, but I do like to think that Ava could take him aside and calm him down since Rio cannot]

Rio: [this is true, save the day girl, baze tell that bitch off, casual family domestic, everyone else look away and pretend you do not see]

Buster: [Poor Ava should not have to but the reality is baze are busy and nobody else is gonna get through to him, so soz gal, thank GOD that preggo Ro would have already left because the last thing anyone needs is her getting involved/sitting there holier than thou like a judgy bitch]

Rio: [you wouldn’t handle it if they turned it on you hun so pipe down]

Buster: [gonna have to say whatever his gift for Rio is, it’s small enough to fit in his pocket because he can’t be doing all this whilst swinging a gift bag around because that is TOO MUCH visually for me to handle and also everyone would be like UM who is that for]

Rio: [imagine, no, we can’t be having that, Nancy would have literally snatched it, it’s too much for now hun]

Buster: [I’m cackling at the thought, lord knows when or how he’s gonna give it to her though because this is AWKS]

Rio: [when Ava has left you we can take that as our cue that you’re at least calmed from the Nancy of it all and come over with a drink as a peace offering]

Buster: [taking it and downing it so he can immediately walk away from her to make the point to her that he’s still annoyed at her specifically as if that was not obvious, without actually making it really obvious to everybody else]

Rio: [sit down wherever he was sat like well, that went well, didn’t it]

Buster: What have you got to say that isn’t a bullshit peace offering?

Rio: Why does it have to be bullshit?

Buster: Because you’re not sorry and you don’t want what I want

Rio: because you get to decide all that for me

Buster: It was your decision and you’d make exactly the same one again, you always fucking do

Rio: If I didn’t, then [whichever sib/sibs came over and ruined this] would’ve seen us go together, could’ve followed, any number of fucking things you don’t want to happen either

Buster: If you didn’t they would’ve had to solve their own problem and god forbid they do anything without involving you

Rio: If Ava needed anything, you’d do it without hesitating

Rio: it happens more because I have more brothers and sisters, I can’t help that

Buster: I’d die for Ava, the difference is she doesn’t need me to because she’s allowed to be capable and can sort her own shit unless it literally was life or death

Rio: Don’t talk about my siblings like you know anything about them

Buster: I know you

Rio: I missed the part where I fucking asked them to come over and distract me

Buster: I didn’t realise you’d also missed the glaringly obvious established pattern

Rio: You know what, fuck this

Rio: you blame me for everything

Buster: Christ, take some responsibility, you shoulder enough of theirs

Rio: Maybe you’d get it if your sister had a baby when she was 16

Buster: My sister wouldn’t, so I guess I’ll never get it

Rio: [walk away from wherever you are to the bathroom for your storm off]

Buster: [I know you’re in a mood but OUCH that was uncalled for and v rude actually, sir]

Rio: [not in the mood for our fam to be slut-shamed, thanking you lol]

Buster: [that went well, oh lads]

Rio: [when you do just wanna piss off home now but instead you have to come out and go sit with your fam to make a point]

Buster: [when you knew you’d gone too far and regretted saying it like the second you said it but you don’t wanna just come at her with a drink peace offering after calling hers bullshit so you’re just looking over at her like !]

Rio: [obviously we notice because even though we’re doing our best living my best life with my family act, we’re also sneaking peeks at you because duh]

Buster: [Eventually coming over when he can stand it no longer and being like ‘Can I talk to you for a minute?’ because he do know her and she’s not gonna make a big scene in front of the fam, gotta chance it]

Rio: [thank the lord, not unhinged like your sister because imagine if we just started brawling you here and now; but no, get up and go like okay]

Buster: [find some privacy please, nobody needs to be overhearing this convo, the awks silence as you have to walk to wherever you’re going RIP]

Rio: [lmao the awkwardness just die]

Buster: [when you get there ‘I shouldn’t have said that’ because no you shouldn’t]

Rio: [‘say what you like’ with folded arms because we’re not impressed ‘it’s what you meant’]

Buster: [‘It’s her life, she can live it how she likes, I didn’t mean to bring her into it, none of this is about her, not really’]

Rio: [‘well, all my family are beneath you in various ways but I know I’m the biggest problem, you mentioned it’]

Buster: [‘No they’re not, they were just in my way’ blurting out that truth because not that much of a snob actually, underneath it all]

Rio: [looking at him to see if he’s being truthful and not just trying to cover himself, even though he’s not really that bitch and you know it, so just nodding like alright ‘they exist, the whole family does’ shrugging like it’s in any way casual ‘there’s nothing either of us can do about that’] 

Buster: [‘I know’ lowkey so frustrated and sad that there’s nothing they can do to make this alright with the fam and be a normal couple because he hates being that bitch, he’s always had options before]

Rio: [do a sigh because it is both of those things ‘It’ll never be different, there’s no point pretending’]

Buster: [‘So what is there a point to?’ like okay if that’s the case what do we do, like should I just walk away now or what]

Rio: [a lowkey look of disbelief ‘why do I have to work it out?’ because we’re both headfucked here, boy]

Buster: [‘Because it’s always me’ blurted out in the manner of Effy’s why don’t I get to be upset moment but slightly less dramatically, because we’re having a full identity crisis here as he’s always the bitch who knows what to do and suddenly he isn’t and it’s really !!! ‘and I can’t-’ we’re having so many emotions today]

Rio: [immediately softening because we don’t like being mad and especially not at you ‘hey, it’s okay’ squeezing his hand like listen to and believe me there ‘no one is ever going to find out about what happened, there’s no pressure to work it out from anyone but us, there’s no time limit, like’]

Buster: [‘I’m sorry’ when does he ever say that but likewise when does he ever almost have a breakdown like he just did a sec ago so]

Rio: [rubbing his arm gently like I know ‘me too’ because we are in terms of it being a headfuck of a situation but we also know not everything you said about us is untrue we just didn’t want to hear it right now ‘look, if it isn’t worth it, then don’t but-’ making eye contact because obviously we want to and we aren’t going to say otherwise or you’d never go there lads ‘all we’d have to do is some planning before seeing each other, it’d be so much easier’]

Buster: [giving that eye contact back in a way that means YOU’RE WORTH IT without actually saying it because you cannot rn or you’ll end up ruining all our excellent cockblocking and I won’t allow that mr + handing her over this beautifully wrapped gift because whatever it is will defs prove how true that is because of the date reminder and how feelsy it is]

Rio: [I vibe that you pull him somewhere even more private just to be doubly sure to open this gift and not be interrupted by anyone, because we are going to have EMOTIONS and y’all don’t need to see and we need the time and space to fully appreciate, tah, gonna have to hug you because what else and how else can we convey how !! we are ‘thank you’]

Buster: [this hug being everything though because you both have EMOTIONS and nowhere else to put them]

Rio: [we are SQUEEZING you and burying our head into your chest]

Buster: [really giving this his ALL for someone who isn’t a hugger and god knows when he last did hug somebody, probably one of baze when he was a little child, proud of you, hun]

Rio: [well done boy, we love to see it, literally, looking up at you]

Buster: [resting his chin on the top of her head adorably while she does that because simply must]

Rio: [doing a happy sigh instead of a sad and frustrated one, although yeah we’re still frustrated but in a different way than a sec ago]

Buster: [let her go before there’s a kiss which isn’t allowed lol, instead fix her hair that you just messed up as a shameless excuse to just play with it and be soft]

Rio: [close your eyes and enjoy that sensation ‘I should’ve gone with you’ quietly, after a while of just chilling]

Buster: [‘I forgive you for not going if you forgive me for being a cunt when you didn’t’ because so many shoulda woulda couldas already and there’s gonna be so many more at different points cos this is a headfuck]

Rio: [just nod because of course we do ‘but I might not forgive myself for it’ like I’m mad, fyi]

Buster: [‘if you don’t, I’ll have to make you’ oh the daddy energy is back okay then]

Rio: [‘yeah?’ in the most please tell me more tone ever]

Buster: [‘I’ll have to guarantee all your regrets are distant memories and the only vivid ones from today are [and obviously recounting all your extra antics, not just during that film but before too which obvs I don’t need to because we can re-read it if we need to remember]’]

Rio: [the way this has your breathing noticeably getting faster and shallow ‘it’s been a really good christmas’ after having to swallow dramatically to calm down enough to speak]

Buster: [touching her throat after she swallows, as dramatically, there’s no need ever ‘the best so far’ because always gonna top it and y’all can enjoy thinking about what next year could be like and all the ones after, why not]

Rio: [melting into your touch like he can keep his hand there forever ‘it’s nice being friends again, so we can stick together’ because need to have no excuse to be seen with you all day]

Buster: [‘I’ve never had a friend like you’ because true in every sense, saucy and actual]

Rio: [‘I’ll be your best friend, if you want’ likewise all the ways we could mean that]

Buster: [‘I do want us to be that for each other’ so sincerely because it’s lonely at the top sis]

Rio: [smile so big because you care about him and he cares about you and it’s everything to get that confirmation]

Buster: [the actual intake of breath because her smile is so beautiful and he can’t deal before he’s then trying to get a not at all subtle look at the bitten inside of her mouth because he’s a drunken nerd and he cares that much bye]

Rio: [laughing and playfully pushing his face away like what are you doing ‘so weird’]

Buster: [‘I’m not, I’m being friendly’ the way that’s said though and then a he's putting his finger in her mouth and really softly feel where she’s bitten the inside of her cheek to shit, obvs checking the other side too and the inside her lip because gotta be v slow and indecent and thorough about this]

Rio: [the moans you can’t hold back literally with how you are in this moment ‘it hurts’ however distorted that is by his literal fingers in your mouth because we must]

Buster: [dying about it because you’ve been able to make so little noise ever, be it on your date or on this day so it’s really new and !! and of course feels like she’s being louder than she is and like y’all are closer to being caught than you are which we know you’re both into, so the way he not at all casually pushes her against a wall or whatever surface wherever they are rn like gotta hide even more is a response to all those things as much as it’s also just him being overwhelmed]

Rio: [‘OW’ ing like that also hurt way more than it did so you don’t make more indecent sounds about it but the way we’re LOOKING at you, you’re going to know how we’re actually feeling]

Buster: [the LOOK he’s giving making it known that he’s not at all sorry despite how soft he’s being holding her atm as if to make up for lowkey slamming her into something]

Rio: [‘you’re so determined to show how nice you aren’t’ standing on your tiptoes so you can ‘fix’ his hair aka run your hands through it]

Buster: [‘I want you to know so badly’ because when she said she wanted to kiss him so badly, the exact same energy, picking her up slightly so she can reach easier the way he helped her at the bar before]

Rio: [‘I want what you want’ saying each word deliberately because we do and you said we didn’t when you were pissed off so hear it, tugging his hair just slightly because we’re serious ‘You’re so-’]

Buster: [‘I shouldn’t have said that either’ likewise saying each word as deliberately because he’s as serious, at the same time as using the same fingers he put in her mouth in the same manner but running them along her flaps, for lack of a better word lol, as if we gotta know how wet her underwear is from the outside never mind the inside and that isn’t already a well known fact by this point] 

Rio: [When this contact is the realest and furthest you’ve gone so far because there’s absolutely no flimsy excuse for it, should you be caught, and this has you stunned into silence, even if you cannot help moving towards his touch]

Buster: [you’re gonna wish that you were stunned into silence sir because that same thought would have the opposite effect on him cos he’s extra, we know, and it’s your turn to make a SOUND that is too loud for where you are and soz but this isn’t the feral free for all of st paddy’s so you’ve simply gotta either hear somebody go past/talking or something and therefore be like !! about if they heard you, because this cannot be a hookup moment and it will if y’all don’t get scared straight] 

Rio: [it’d be a total amateur move to jump away from him like you’re on fire, so you just about manage that but as close as we just pushed ourself against you is how far we’re getting away, trying your best to look casual and not like you’re on the highest alert for two reasons now]

Buster: [both of you not breathing just here like 👀 but he’s always the boy with a plan who can get himself under control so ‘I did say a minute’ because he did to your fam you were sat with like maybe you should go because it has been longer than that and you can’t keep pushing your luck like this, lads, not tonight at least] 

Rio: [nod, in a daze at first but as you’re pulling your clothes back into place, nod more confidently like yeah, you’re right ‘why did you wanna talk to me?’ like what’s the story because it’s not what it actually was]

Buster: [the cogs in his head visibly turning like oh yes we need a cover story because truly you do, obvs it’s easiest to blame Nancy because everyone saw that fight with her and things have been rocky between y’all since your bday and she do be a huge bitch so it’s not inconceivable that you act like something she said/did was Rio related because she’s a mess she won’t remember and nobody would be on her side if she said she didn’t, just thinking all these things out loud, putting together the pieces in a conspiratorial whisper vibe] 

Rio: [that all tracks ‘I can make up the rest’ putting your present in your bag carefully ‘make you look bad but not quite as bad as her, like’ with a lil smirk like sounds about right, yeah?]

Buster: [his own confident nod like yes exactly because he knows she knows what she’s doing and he can trust her obvs or none of this would be happening]

Rio: [wave at him as you get out of this hiding place like okay then ‘see you later?’]

Buster: [when you really wanna pull her back in and just stay here and even start to do that before you can stop yourself + all the moves to lean in to kiss her but then you remember that you absolutely cannot start down that road again so you’re like ‘yeah, see you later’ whilst your lips are close enough to brush against hers, nbd but at least it feels like a to be continued/promise that way so that’s nice]

Rio: [‘why-’ when you likewise can’t stop yourself from starting to ask a question you already know the answer to, not that you mind the continued sensation of brushing your lips against each others, tortuous though it is]

Buster: [‘You know why’ didn’t need to say that remotely but we’re prolonging that sensation and this moment shamelessly]

Rio: [‘I forget’ because that’s the truest thing you could possibly say]

Buster: [‘It’s really fucking easy to’ because same]

Rio: [‘If we got caught now, we’d be the only ones who knew we didn’t kiss’ because you basically are]

Buster: [‘If we do, we won’t stop at a kiss’ too true ‘and we’ll still get caught before we want it to be over’ again true, you have no chill and mid hook up would be so frustrating you’d actually die]

Rio: [when you know so you don’t need to say anything ‘you didn’t let me go’ as if you made big attempts to leave]

Buster: [‘I tried’ because it would really feel like he made such a big effort to because that’s how hard it is rn and how much they don’t wanna leave each other]

Rio: [‘Third times meant to be a charm, so-’ walking away like you can bring me back this time and you better lol]

Buster: [Doing it with such a !!! move, if she thought she was getting thrown around before it’s nothing compared to this moment here ‘It should’ve been me making you cum’ pinning her hands above her head as he says this like he’s so offended at them for doing it during the film instead and it goes without saying that he’s also dry humping her to within an inch of her life in the way they could not then because they were barely able to move and this time he’s doing the absolute most]

Rio: [‘It was’ blurted out as you’re shifting all your weight onto him, pulling him closer by his belt ‘it’s been you for ages now’]

Buster: [‘on your birthday’ not a question because we know it, she wore an outfit for you despite the fact you weren’t there so]

Rio: [‘how could I think about anyone else?’ soz not soz flop boyfriend but we know he won and it wasn’t even a close competition]

Buster: [sucks to suck flop and he’s SO into it as evidenced by his v enthusiastic responses rn, telling her about his absolutely savage behaviour when she left to go to the airport and he was left to his own devices because whatever you did to deal with how turned on you were, we know it was beyond extra]

Rio: [we’re moving ferally fast because 1. We don’t have time to waste and 2. This is how hearing this makes us feel ‘did it feel as good as this?’]

Buster: [‘nothing feels as good as this’ really emphasised by how difficult it would be to get that sentence out and how it sounds when he does]

Rio: [having to bite his top because you can’t bite him yet but you also genuinely hurt your mouth before and you also want him to know how hard holding back is for you too ‘no one has done it like you’ almost mad at how true that is]

Buster: [idk how her dress isn’t getting ripped in response to all of that, sheer luck and luck only because love everything she’s doing and saying so much ‘no one does anything like you do’ the truest thing, everything she does however mundane or not is next level compared to anyone else]

Rio: [‘you don’t even know yet’ because we have done nothing in the grand scheme of things even though it feels like everything ‘I wanna be in your head as much as you’re in mine’ pressing our forehead against his, continuing to grind against you as we use the movement for leverage]

Buster: [‘You’ve been in there for years, you never leave my thoughts’ because aware that she is gonna have to go fr in person in a sec as much as we don’t wanna be thinking about it]

Rio: [hiding your face in his neck, doing frustrated little whines because yes, we do not want to leave, thanks family and universe ‘it’s so stupid’]

Buster: [doing everything he possibly can rn so they don’t have to think about it and frustrated isn’t how she feels, he’s a man on a mission, including another hot shh of course but in a there, there, I’m gonna make it okay and you feel better way not like shut it please]

Rio: [grip onto the back of his shirt like your life depends on it because you’re dying ‘I can say your name, not just think it’ and proceeding to do so, in his ear so you aren’t being as loud as it would seem to y’all in this moment]

Buster: [biting his lip so hard but the moan escapes nevertheless because that’s how into it he is and always will be, excuse us everyone]

Rio: [looking at him the most 🥺 ‘you’re the most attractive boy I have ever known’]

Buster: [saying her name back with all the feeling in the world because 🥺 likewise always kills him]

Rio: [‘we should’ve done this last year, and the year before…’ just going on and on, matching the time of your thrusts, forever and always is the vibe]

[zukuist]

in the moment [hcs]

“they are desperate for help when admirers swarm them, and they choose to seek for your assistance”

fandom/s : 僕のヘロアカデミア // boku no hero academia (bnha)

includes: h. shinsō, k. bakugō, i. midoriya

your name is shortened to y/n, last name is shortened to l/n gender neutral, use of the pretend lover trope, they’re actually pining.

further note: yes i’ve been gone for more than a week, and yes it’s because of school. i promise i’ll be posting more!!

REQUESTS ;; OPEN !!

© IZUKULIE 2021, HORIKOSHI KOHEI OWNS BNHA, DO NOT STEAL ❕

—

shinsō hitoshi

finds it super annoying

and this is coming from him, someone that’s not easy to irritate

he’s conscious and aware that people find him attractive (which for some reason, he still questions why)

eventually, admirers are bound to appear like it or not, but they’re not this insistent as this girl, nope.

shinsō has never experienced something like this, in his entire life.

noriko was a familiar face, but not in the best way for shinsō hitoshi.

she used to be one of those girls that’d band wagon with her opinions. whenever people were hostile towards him

she would be hostile too

but as soon as everyone started finding him attractive, she’d change too.

and it’s.. a mess. what more when he himself is pining on someone that’s not noriko

let alone, a student from class 1-A?

and it’s not like he could brainwash her into leaving him alone

as soon as she would be released by his quirk, she’d tell everyone what he did. therefore, leaving that out of the many solutions

and now he’s backed up into a corner, with her chasing him all across the hallways.

he can only hope for a solution.

— scene —

“this is ridiculous..” taking another turn in the hallway, shinsō mutters to himself quietly, the sleep deprived student can still hear her shrill voice

and by ‘her’, he’s referring to the admirer that has been tailing him down ever since the day had started.

“there are times like this where i wished i didn’t care about looking villainous” is what he’s really thinking. damn quirk stereotypes, and curse him for not having a quirk like iida tenya

“what.. are you doing?” was he lucky, or unlucky? it just so happened to be that he bumped into y/n l/n, out of all people

“i’m in a bit of a situation,” his palm rests against his nape, and he has to hope that you get the message, when noriko’s nearly deafening voice cuts through the air

“you’re quite popular with the ladies, huh?” you joke, and shinsō would’ve laughed if he wasn’t being trailed down.

“as much as i—”

“there you are !” noriko exclaims, slightly out of breath from the insistent chase, “you still haven’t answered !”

“i have, and i said no.” he makes his intentions concrete, compared to earlier (which was a mistake) when he rejected her in the nicest way he could’ve done so, but it wasn’t enough to make her quit.

“well earlier, you’ve said you appreciated it !” the whine pains both of your ears, and you contemplate if you should just grab his hand, and make a run for it.

but, she’d just chase you down again. so maybe not.

“yes, but i also said i can’t accept your feelings.” in instinct, he backs up so he could stand next to you, and he looks at you with his own style of desperation, which was obviously different than noriko’s desperation.

“i happen to be taken.” shinsō claims, hooking his hand along yours. which might’ve been done because he’s desperate, but could’ve been done because he wanted to

getting the motive, you lock away your shock, and play along, accepting his touch.

“i don’t believe you.” noriko blurts, “you two look like best friends more than anything. i’m not stupid !”

you didn’t think it would have to resort to this.

with not much of a thought, you grabbed shinsō by the collar, and smashed your lips together. his lips are warmer than you’ve anticipated, the distinct taste of coffee makes you lean into him further. while at first taken aback, shinsō decides to accept the act by pushing you even closer to him

you let go, deciding it was enough, and when you stare back at noriko, tears dotting at her waterline, and she sputters in humiliation and rejection.

“i never liked you anyway !” she uses as a defense, before storming off. the both of you feel a sense of relief when her figure turns at the end of the hallway

“sorry for kissing you like that. it was kind of in the moment,”

shinsō chuckles, “didn’t expect our first kiss to be like that.”

“well, there are more opportunities to come for you, you’re quite popular.” you tease, and shinsō flicks your forehead in retaliation. in return, you hiss at the sudden sting of pain.

“we’ll have more opportunities when i take you out for lunch on saturday.” he pats you on the shoulder, before he presses a quick real kiss on your cheekbone.

bakugō katsuki

also finds it super annoying. actually, he might as well just fight them and move on.

bakugō knows it well that he’s.. well-known, for all the right and wrong reasons

but what he doesn’t know is that he’s also known for his good looks, rough and boyish in nature.

so eventually, there’ll be that one brave and fearless soul that’ll take one for the team. or even two, or three.

he hates it. doesn’t his aura and demeanor alone scare off all of the suitors?

since when were they super persistent, smh.

it didn’t help that he was trying to drown and suffocate his feelings down the pipeline.

because curse bakugō katsuki for having normal, teenage feelings. he had other important things in life, right?

but he couldn’t help but wonder if you’d ever confess to him like that

(not that it would happen any time soon. you were too busy being a tough training partner)

but everything aside, he wishes that people would just take the hint already.

because ignoring doesn’t help all the time.

the girl named fumiko would be a dreadful sight he’d be constantly reminded of.

from his shoe locker being flooded with love letters that speak nothing to him, and to the obnoxious commentary on his looks

he’d think that they were just harassing him to get a reaction, but bakugō katsuki will remain unbothered!

but he spoke too soon, because he was approached directly right after his late training session.

—scene—

bakugō hates it

he hates extras, he hates being outshined, and he hates distractions. what more was there to dislike in the world? everything clearly.

he can handle things properly, and with that tough demeanor of his, and he definitely doesn’t need a quick and easy solution, from the girl that’s glued to his side.

he told himself that a persistent extra is nothing, he can just simply ignore them and look at them, like how he always looks at useless pebbles, and they’d go away. but clearly not this girl

“get off, you fucking extra” he pushes her off, grabbing his water bottle and immediately storming off, but it doesn’t convince fumiko (he learned her name unfortuantely) to finally lay off.

“c’mon katsuki! this would’ve all been over if you just went out with me!”

bakugō can’t hide the cringe on his face, hearing his first name, ugh. he doesn’t know how she found out about his late training sessions, considering that she wasn’t in his class or class 1-b

he doubts that he’d run into anyone at this hour, they’d be all in the common room, and he did say that he wanted all of them to ‘fuck off’. but luck does work in mysterious ways.

“..what’re you doing here?” he questions, clearly surprised by your presence, and his frustration would’ve disappeared at that exact mom“dinner’s almost ready. actually, why do you look so.. alarmed? is there a villain?—”

his palms are starting to sweat, and it’s not because of his training, or because of the girl that won’t leave him alone. “no! fuck no. okay, there’s just some shitty extra that’s been following me around like some obsessed freak.”

you decide to be smug, “i knew there was going to be a brave soul out there, ready to sacrifice themselves.” you rest your hand on your left side, like it was heart warming, but the blond is not amused with your gesture.

“right, right!” you hold your hands up, surrendering. “okay, what do you want me to do?”

“just don’t say a fucking thing.” you can hear foot steps get closer and closer to the both of you, and in a hurry, he pushes you closer to him, the smell of caramel evading your senses.

before you could even say a word, he kisses you. it’s rough, and it makes you feel warm, and it’s definitely not because of his quirk, or because of the large, warm palms that rest against your sides.

you get a grip on him, holding onto his shoulder when you feel your knees buck because of the butterflies in your stomach, and it seems to get worse when bakugō holds you even tighter

“okay geez, i get it. you’re taken!” you can hear the girl exclaim in humiliation and disgust, “ugh, a guy like you wouldn’t be able to handle me anyway.”

and when she finally scurries away, the both of you break the kisses, the wind out of you being knocked out cold from his sudden act of ‘romance’

“i sorta understand the hype now.” you grin, your lips still tingle from the kiss, and you’re convinced that you want more, despite the kiss being out of spite, and for fumiko to back off.

“shut up.” you would’ve laughed at him if it was any other day, but for now, you’re left silent. your heart flutters once more, when his lips press against your cheekbone briefly.

“c’mon, idiot. we’re gonna miss dinner.”

midoriya izuku

he’s so alarmed, and honestly very scared

he wasn’t popular, or well known to begin with, and people only started treating him like he was a real person in highschool

he’s just so used to being looked at like a background character, or a npc in a video game.

so the sudden swarm of suitors, and people that want to date him shocked him to the core.

he was never treated like this in middle school, or elementary!

it flatters him, and he’s glad that people actually like him. but.. he’d never actually think about being with either of them

because they’re not you, obviously. but wait, what’s so different about you exactly?

well.. you’ve treated him with kindness, even when he looked like this.. really awkward kid that sat at the back of the classroom.

so yeah, he’d never think about accepting anyone else’s confessions, as long as they’re not you

but still, midoriya has treated all of his admirers with kindness, despite not wanting to be with any of them

knowing how it feels to be humiliated, he wouldn’t want to do that on any of them

but.. this one particular girl was one he’d never truly be comfortable with, as much as he’d like to fake it.

rieko was.. something. probably the most persistent one out of all of them.

he would’ve appreciated it, if it weren’t for the fact that she was super obnoxious to other people.

and most importantly, he didn’t understand what she’d get out of it, and it wrecked his nerves!

— scene —

standing next to you, all lined up for lunch, midoriya shifts uncomfortably as he tries his best to ignore the loud and obvious commentary that’s being directed to him.

at first, it was flattering. but now? he just wishes things would go back to the times where people had no interest in him, whatsoever.

he knows what rieko really like him for, and it’s honestly disheartening. the girl would compliment him on things like his looks, and even his new moves!

but as soon as he elaborated on how he did it, the interest would fade away from her eyes

not that it did matter though. midoriya didn’t really have any feelings for any of the people that’ve approached him, wanting to date him. he’s been kind, and they’ve been kind in return, getting the hint and backing off.

the freckled boy was flattered but, not interested

but clearly, rieko didn’t get the message, despite the way midoriya would back away uncomfortably. how he’d immediately excuse himself whenever he’d see the girl.

just.. all signs of disinterest

“go! just ask him already!” he can hear her friends encourage her, but he’s not very enthusiastic to know what they’re cheering her on for

“he won’t be able to resist! just walk right in and do it, you guys will be an attractive couple anyway!”

midoriya’s palms are shaky, and he tries his best to calm his nerves down by clenching his fists. this doesn’t go un-noticed by you.

“you okay, midoriya?” you ask, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, and the green haired boy hopes that his cheeks aren’t turning red.

the both of you guys are awfully close! not that he’s complaining, it’s just that—

“is it about them?” you ask in a nearly quiet tone, and midoriya’s aware that you’re talking about them.

“uhm..” midoriya tries to formulate a proper answer, not wanting to sound as bothered as he actually is. how would he be able to explain this? “don’t worry about it,” midoriya reassures, “it’s just—”

“do you think that he’s dating that person? you know, the one beside them?” he hears that the topic of the conversation has shifted, and the group of girls are referring to you.

midoriya wasn’t planning on telling anyone about the dilemma. let alone his crush. it was something he was going to ignore, until the mess calmed down.

but now? you’re roped into it, and his nerves didn’t calm down at all.

“izuku dating them? no, it can’t be. he’s too good for them!”

“that’s the spirit, rieko. you should just go like.. now!”

to him, it’s the other way around. you’re too good for him, and you’re out of his league. so, this comment upsets him to all ends.

he’s pondering on what he should do, and before he could take you out of the line to get food at some other place, he feels something warm enlace his hand.

he slightly shivers when he realizes that it’s your hand he’s holding, cheeks flushed with crimson.

your eyes are ahead, a lot more composed than he is clearly, but if he looked hard enough, he could sense the nervousness in your hold.

“you wanna leave the line, izu?” his first name sounds different when you say it, and he thinks to himself that he prefers it a lot more when it comes from you

“y-yes.” and you smile, pressing your lips against his cheek quickly, before tugging his hand and pulling him out of the line, walking away from the group.

it’s a miracle that he didn’t drop onto the cafeteria’s floors.

you can feel his anxiety subsiding. despite his flushed cheeks remaining, he looks better than he did a few seconds ago, and you’re glad.

deciding the both of you were at a safe distance, you peek over your shoulder. you can see the absolute defeat on rieko’s face, and the scowl on her friends’ faces as they attempted to comfort their heartbroken friend.

“thank you, y/n.”

“no, it’s nothing, really. anyhow, what do you plan on eating for lunch?”

[navegandoaciegas]

Crybaby

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x f!reader (College AU)

Warnings: smut, ass fingering, orgasm denial, humiliation, lots of talks about panties.

Summary: You catch Bucky trying to steal your panties on laundry day.

A/N: this is partly @buckycuddlebuddy​ ‘s fault tbh. Enjoy some desperate, horny Bucky. Minors DNI.

The timer on the dryer unit you’d occupied went off, signaling that your weekly load of laundry was dry and ready. Bucky cast a nervous glance around the eerily empty room, fingers twitching in the front pocket of his hoodie.

He knew it was wrong, but his laundry was done too (just a coincidence, really, not like he’d wake up at 3 am on a Monday because he knew you did your washing around that time), and you weren’t there yet. You usually retrieved your load in the morning anyways.

Just a peek, he reasoned. Out of curiosity. You wouldn’t even realize they were missing, and if you did you’d chalk it up to the washing machine eating your clothes.

You’d show up to class on Tuesday and sit next to him while he’d be wearing your pretty lace panties and you’d be none the wiser.

Fuck, he was getting hard just thinking about it.

He dug in your laundry, sifting through mascara stained washcloths and an endless amount of oversized t-shirts, until he found what he’d been looking for.

Small, so tiny in fact that he wondered how your lips could fit in them. He groaned -the idea of your pussy hanging out of the material made his cock twitch, and brought the panties to his face, rubbing his nose all over the lace. He’d fantasized of burying his face between your legs all semester long, and this seemed close enough, the closest he could get to you anyways.

They seemed stretchy, and he hoped he could manage to stuff himself inside them.

“Didn’t peg you for a panty sniffer, Barnes.”

The world stilled around him, the ring in his ears so loud that he wondered if you could hear it too.

He was so engrossed in his creeping, that he hadn’t heard the door open and click shut, nor your steps as you walked behind him, or the slight groan that the washing machine behind him emitted when you settled on it, swinging your legs.

Slowly, he turned around, your lace panties still tightly clutched to his chest.

You almost chuckled at the sight of his bulging eyes and gaping mouth. Almost.

“That- it’s not- not how it looks like- I-”

“What, you were gonna fold my laundry for me? How considerate,” you sneered, but the look on your face was far from disgust.

Derision, sure, but not disgust. The mischievous interest in your eyes sent chills down his spine, not necessarily the good kind.

He felt dread settle in his stomach, anticipating whatever consequence his actions would have.

“You do this often?” you asked, tilting your head to the side, naked legs still swinging over the washing machine.

Bucky couldn’t find the words, and honestly the gall, to speak, so he just shook his head vehemently, shuffling on his feet.

“Hm, you like sniffing ‘em?”

He remained unmoving, too humiliated to do anything.

“Oh, I got it,” you beamed, pointing a finger at him and squinting your eyes, “You like touching yourself with pretty panties, hm? Like using them to fuck your dick, and cum all over ‘em?”

He wanted to answer, tell you to fuck off and sprint away to hide in his dorm for the rest of his life, but honestly he deserved this and so much worse. He almost considered dropping out of college entirely, but that glint in your eyes kept him anchored to the ground.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, keeping his gaze on his white sneakers, “I-, I promise, I never done it before, I don’t know why-, look I won’t do it again, I swear,” he pleaded, tears pooling in his crystal eyes and threatening to stream down his face.

You cooed, honest to God coeed, a mocking pout on your lips.

You should have left, and reported him, but those pretty tears of his, the tremble in his voice, the stuttered pleas, only served to spur you on, a familiar warmth building up in your core.

“I bet if word got out of this, no one would want to hang around the resident creep anymore. Good luck getting girls then. Although, well, I don’t think you get too many under normal circumstances, do you?” you snorted, “That would be embarrassing, hm? Wouldn’t want that, would you?”

He found himself shaking his head, trying to swallow the lump in his throat to avoid giving you any more reason to mock him.

“It’s your lucky day then, because I have no intention to tell anyone,” you announced, stepping down to lean against the machine, arms crossed over your stomach.

“You- you don’t?” he wondered.

The notion should have elated him, but he felt himself growing more uneasy and confused with the smirk on your face.

“Won’t tell anyone if you don’t. Cross my heart,” you laughed, making a show of placing a hand on your chest.

He eyed you suspiciously. “Why?”

“Where’s the fun in that, Barnes? I wouldn’t enjoy bullying you if I’m not the only one doing it,” you chirped, “That doesn’t mean that my forgiveness should come for free, tho.”

His breath hitched, and you followed his Adam’s apple as it bobbed up and down his throat.

You could feel the control in your grasp, panties getting wetter with each one of his tears.

“I’ll do anything,” he swore, and you almost wished he’d fall on his knees and beg.

“Anything you say, huh?” you paused, “Strip,” you commanded, leaning back against the washing machine.

Bucky furrowed his brows and looked up in confusion, then disbelief, finally embarrassment. “Wh- what? But, but what if someone sees, I-”

“Then you better hurry.”

“But I-”

“You fuckin’ heard me the first time.”

He was startled into action, hands hastily pulling at his hoodie and jeans until he was standing in nothing but socks and underwear.

“I’m not gonna repeat myself again.”

He gulped visibly, and hesitated before hooking his fingers around the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down his legs.

He blushed harder, ducking his head.

His cock sprung out of his boxers, and the mouthwatering sight of it had you reconsidering Bucky Barnes and all your life choices during this semester.

He was glistening in pre cum, painfully hard and veiny, and definitely thick enough that fitting it inside your cunt would be hard work on both parts. You imagined taking him in your mouth, how you would definitely choke around his girth, and your jaw would be sore for days.

Not today, though. Bad boys did not get that kind of privilege.

You bit your lips, and Bucky fought the impulse to squirm under your intense gaze.

“Something wrong?” he rasped out, praying for the ground to open up and swallow him whole in case you found him too small, too crooked, too hairy.

You snorted, eyebrows raised skeptically. “Yeah, babe, the fact that I haven’t seen you naked before. You been hiding all this,” you eyed his crotch suggestively, “from me all this time?”

“T- thanks,” he stuttered, offering you a small smile, eyes trained on the ground. He tried to ignore the way his heart fluttered when you called him an endearing term, reminding himself that this was all a game to you, a game that he was more than willing to play if it ended up with his cock buried deep inside you.

You sighed then, pondering your thoughts. He was not your usual type, but he was cute in a nerdy way, shy and quiet, and he was packing more than any other man you’d had before.

Plus, this was way too entertaining for you to pass up.

“Wear ‘em.”

Bucky’s head snapped up at the command, but this time he did not hesitate to follow your instructions, a bit too eager as he slid the panties up his thighs.

The shutter of your phone’s camera brought him out of his thoughts, and his eyes widened in horror when he saw you take pictures of him. He trusted you wouldn’t spread them around, but the thrill of danger had him leak more pre cum, wetting a patch on the lace.

“So that’s your deal? You like wearing panties? Didn’t even try to act like you didn’t want to,” you snickered, “What a whore.”

The situation couldn’t get more humiliating, and he couldn’t get more desperate for you.

“Be a good boy, Bucky. Fold the laundry for me, since that’s clearly what you meant to do,” you laughed scornfully, nodding to the basket at your feet.

He walked to you slowly, bending over to pick it up, and yelped when you slapped his ass harshly, the sound bouncing off the walls and shooting straight to his aching cock.

“Cute. Now go, you got something to do and I don’t have all night.”

He sighed, and got to work, unloading each item from the dryer, and folding it neatly.

You eyed the lines of his back, the round globes of his ass, the string of your thong dipping between his cheeks. You almost lost yourself imagining how pretty he would look all scratched and marked before you furrowed your brows, observing the way he folded on of your nicer shirts that you wore on interviews and internships.

“Can’t even fold laundry, look at you,” you tsked, shaking your head, “Try that again, I don’t want to spend more than necessary ironing it.”

He obeyed, without any protest, smoothing the creases he’d created, and continuing with your load, until the dryer was empty and you were satisfied.

“Good job, baby boy,” you praised, beckoning him over.

He got closer, close enough that you could feel the heat emanating from his body. He looked so pretty like that, all teary and obedient.

You wanted to make him yours and ruin him for everybody else.

“You’re a fuckin’ pervert, you know that? A creep and a pervert.”

You saw the way his cock twitched behind your lace at the words, and almost doubled over in laughter.

The night couldn’t get any better.

“Fuck, you really are a pervert. This what you get off to? You imagine me calling you names, degrading you like the bitch you are? You want to be humiliated, don’t you?”

A desperate, pathetic whine escaped his throat, and he felt his knees growing weak with need. He was naked in a public space where everyone could see him, being belittled and humiliated by the girl he’d been pining over, and he was hard as a rock, getting off every word that spilled out of your mouth.

“Well,” you purred, fisting the hair at the back of his neck and tugging harshly, “I think we can arrange that.”

“Yes, yes, please, I want it,” he whimpered, chest heaving, “I want you, I’m your slut, I-, you can do whatever you want to me.”

You almost moaned then, intoxicated by his burning desire.

“Good boy,” you hummed, releasing his hair to stroke his cheekbone, smiling at the way he leaned his head against your palm, letting his eyes flutter shut.

“Remember you can tell me to stop or slow down whenever you want, and I will. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to,” you added more serious, observing his face for any trace of anything but enthusiasm.

When you found none, and he nodded feverishly, you let your hand fall from his cheek to his shoulder, tracing the outlines of his lean muscle.

“Can- can you kiss me, please?” he asked, and he begged so prettily that you could do nothing but humor him, crashing your lips against his.

It was messy, rough. He was sloppy, and from the way he moved against you, you guessed he didn’t have too much experience.

Better, you reasoned. You’d teach him all he needed to know to please you, and you only.

You bit on his bottom lip, and Bucky yelped in surprise, parting his lips.

He tasted like mint on your tongue, and you sighed in content, letting your hands travel down his sides, barely grazing his skin, scratching the hair on his belly.

He shuddered under your touch, goosebumps erupting in your wake.

When you reached his lower stomach, you felt him tense, his breathing getting harder, his tongue more insistent.

He was drooling and crying, you realized, as he snapped his hips against your leg, humping you like a dog.

You broke away from the kiss, catching your breath.

“Look at you, you gettin’ real worked up and I barely even touched you. What are you, a fuckin’ virgin?” you chuckled, playing with the little bow on the front of your panties.

You’d expected him to laugh, or deny, but he just stood there awkwardly, avoiding your gaze,

“I’m not,” he grumbled, avoiding your gaze.

“Then why are you acting like one?” you prodded, but didn’t wait for him to answer, claiming his mouth in a searing kiss.

His hesitant hands groped your breasts, finally gaining the confidence to do more than linger awkwardly on your hips. He twirled your stiff nipples, rubbing his thumbs over them, movements getting more frenzied the closer he got to his release.

He crouched awkwardly to be at your chest level while still pressing his hips onto you, and tugged your loose tank top down, moaning at the sight of your tits.

“Go on baby, suck on my tits.”

He didn’t need any more encouragement to assault your nipples, latching his mouth onto one of them, and suckling. You wondered if he’d ever even touched a pair of boobs before, but his ministrations were working either way, making your walls clamp down on nothing.

You finally grasped him in your hand, his cock heavy and throbbing in your palm as you stroked him lazily, spurred on by his little whimpers.

His whole body quivered when you ran your thumb over his slit, and you marvelled at his sensitivity.

“You like it when I touch you like this, baby?” you moaned in his ear, “I bet you do, I bet you could cum already just from this. Just a handjob, like the pathetic little boy you are, hm?”

He released your tits with a wet pop, and rose to full height again, resting his forehead on yours.

“Yes, yes, please,” he sobbed, “please, princess, more.”

You complied, doubling your efforts. He inhaled sharply when you added your other hand and began twisting both your wrists in opposite directions.

“You want your princess to suck your dick, baby? Want me to get on my knees and take you in my mouth?”

He nodded against you, grinding his hard cock against your hand, desperate to chase his release.

“Or maybe you want your princess’ pretty pussy? You want to fill me with your fat cock and stuff me full of your filthy cum, don’t you?”

He began blabbering, breathing harder, sloppily snapping his hips. He had a look of pure bliss on his face, his eyes shut tightly, mouth hung open and a layer of sweat coating his forehead.

You could feel him grow and throb in your hand, and just before he was about to reach his high, you stopped your hands.

His eyes shot open and he opened and closed his mouth to protest, but you gave him no time, fisting his hair and slamming him against the washer, bending him over the cold surface.

“What, you thought I’d catch you stealing my panties and I’d let that go?” you tutted, bending over him, pressing your front to his back, whispering in his ear “Bad boys need to be punished, don’t you agree?”

A choking sound escaped his parted lips, and you giggled against his skin, licking a strip behind his neck.

You let your hands wander down the expanse of his back, settling on the waistband of your panties. You indulged yourself again, slapping his ass because you liked how it jiggled and how Bucky whined.

“You have a nice ass, you know,” you mused, slouching back to get a good vision of it, “You ever had anyone stick anything up there?”

“W-what?” he sputtered, crooning his head to look at you, “N-no, never.”

“Cute.”

He squirmed in embarrassment when you spread his cheeks, groaning when he felt your spit drip down on him. You massaged a finger around his rim, your hand coated in your spit and his pre cum.

“Relax, I’ll make you feel really good, promise.”

You gradually felt his muscles relax under your touch as you soothingly ran a hand down his back and kept whispering calming, sweet nothings in his ear.

Then, you dipped a finger past the rim.

“See, not that bad, huh?” you smiled, working your finger inside him, caressing his walls.

You nipped the skin of his back, peppering his muscles with fluttering kisses, grazing your teeth over his column.

You dipped another in, and Bucky hissed, wiggling his legs.

“Hey, it’s okay,” you shushed him, “You’re doing so good for me, baby.”

He preened under your praise, and you began scissoring your fingers inside his ass, working him open and looking for the spot you knew would make him beg for more.

The heat between your legs was almost unbearable, your pussy desperate to be stuffed full of his cock.

You loved how pliant Bucky was being, obedient and submissive in your grasp. You noticed the tears that hadn’t stopped streaming down his face, and huffed a laugh.

“A pervert, a slut, and a fuckin’ crybaby, aren’t you?” you mumbled, a genuine smile tugging at your lips.

“Fuck, oh fuck, fuck, fuck,” he chanted, holding onto the washing machine for dear life, tongue lolling out of his mouth, drool dripping down his chin, making it known that you’d found what you’d been looking for.

“Yes, fuck, please princess, gimme more,” he begged, overwhelmed with a pleasure like he’d never experienced before.

He felt like a fire had been lit in his lower belly, and it was spreading to every limb, encompassing him whole.

You grasped his cock in one of your hands while your fingers kept pummeling into his ass, feeling the rim clench around you and his cock pulsate.

You thought you could cum from his beautiful sounds alone, and you kept going until you were sure he was on the verge of a mind shattering orgasm.

Then, you stopped again, and this time Bucky sobbed, blabbering and wailing, begging you.

“Please princess, I’ll do anything, just please let me cum, please, please,” he continued, shamelessly bucking his hips against nothing.

You released his cock and pulled your fingers out of his ass, cleaning the fluids against his panties.

“You’re so fuckin’ pathetic, begging like that,” you mocked him, retrieving your phone from the pocket of your shorts.

You snapped a couple of photos of him bent over the washing machine, pent up and debauched. His balls hung from the lace of your panties, and you made sure to zero on his tear stained face.

“So pretty, my pretty crybaby,” you cooed, helping him stand up again.

He fell on his knees, clutching the hem of your t-shirt.

“Please, you can’t leave me like this, I-, please,” he blabbered.

You committed the image to memory, knowing you’d see it again soon.

You could see it in his eyes how hooked he was to you.

“Baby, bad boys don’t get to cum, do they? You can’t go around stealing people’s laundry,” you tutted, lightly slapping his cheek, “You deserve some punishment, don’t you agree?”

He hesitantly nodded, slumping down on his shins. You grasped his chin, tilting his head up to meet his gaze.

“You got to bed now, no touching, and I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll know if you disobeyed, and trust me, you don’t want to know what’s gonna happen if you did.”

You smiled, and took a few steps back to retrieve your basket, leaving him to catch his breath on the floor.

“See you tomorrow at 4 pm, you know where my dorm is,” you chirped despite your own neglected arousal, sauntering to the door, “Get dressed before someone comes in, you wouldn’t want to see how much of a pervert you are, right?”

He shook his head, agreeing with you despite the sobs that silently shook through his body.

“Good boy,” you purred, hand twisting the knob. You paused, and threw him a look over yourself, “Oh, and thank you for the laundry.”

-

I hope you liked this! Please leave some feedback if you can! ❤️

[kaz11283]

Could I make a request: Reader is ill (fever, headache, etc) and Loki comes home to find her fast asleep whimpering in her sleep from being ill and burning up from the fever? Something along those lines, feel free to take creative liberty, haven’t been feeling great lately and would love some comfort. Love your work 💕

Yes my sweet dear! I really hope that you get to feeling better soon! Thank you for the request and for the support! I am sending you some comfort vibes right now as we speak as well as some Loki Love i truly hope this helps you to feel better!

~~~~

Characters: Nat, Loki, Clint, you

(Loki x reader) (Clint x reader, brother)I know I've done this but I just love the idea of being siblings with Clint (Nat x reader, friends

Summary: After a beautiful snow fall you and the team decide to go outside and enjoy the day off, of course knowing your luck you would be the one who got sick.

Announcement: Individual request sent in, i am more that happy to write anything that is thrown my way (even though it might take some time) i inow what its like not feeling good and jusy wanting some comfort and to be loved on so I hope you truly enjoy this!

Loki Masterlist

~~~~

Your nose was red as you made it back to the cabin were you and the team had decided to vacation for a little down time, of course it wasnt your normal run of the mile cabin not with Tony bank rolling the whole thing. It was a rustic 4 story cabin with 3 rooms on each floor, a huge fire place that literally sat in the middle of the house (you didnt really cared how it worked you just knew it looked cool), a huge kitchen and living room sat on the first floor.

"I cant believe i let him talk me into that." You mummbled making your way to the fire place. Clint, your wonderful older brother had decided that the team should have a snow ball fight, you know "team building exercise" as he called it. You had of course been on opposing sides since it would be fair for two Bartons to be on the same team as Tony had said.

"You should know his tricks by now y/n, you've only known him all your life." Nat laughed walking in the door after you shacking snow from her hair.

"I didnt expect him to peg me in the side of the damn head. OR tackle me to the ground and shove my face in the snow." You grumbled. "Hes lucky he ran before I could get up."

"I'm pretty sure he's hidding in a tree somewhere." She laughed again.

"Good, the bird can stay in his roost for all I care. I'm going to go take a nice hot shower and a nap. Let the others know please." You walked off toward the steps that lead to yours and your boyfriends room. "Hey Nat, try to make sure the others are nice to Loki? The only reason hes here is so that he could try to get closer to them."

"Yeah, him being able to spend as much time with you as possible was not his intentions at all." She stated rollingbher eyes.

"Thanks." You went and took the hottest shower you could stand enjoying the steam as it enveloped you before you got out wrapped yourself up in a big fluffy towle and made your way into the living area. This was another nice room, hell every inch of this place was nice though. It wasnt like your "mini apartment" as you liked to call your room at the tower, but it still had a seprate smaller living area with a couch and a recliner, the bed was on the oyher side of a patrician looking out of the floor to celing window. You didnt want to lay there because it was so bright so after digging around in your bag and pulling out a pair of black shorts and one of Lokis green pullovers you decided to crash on the couch. After a few minutes of watching some random cooking show you dozed off engulfed in your boyfriends sent lulling you to your dream world.

You woke with a start when you felt something pressong aginst your forehead, you felt like you hadnt been asleep for very long, lookinh atound you realized first that it was dark outside, and second your muscles all over was sore and stiff feeling.

"Shhhh, Its just me, my darling." Loki ran his hand down your cheek softly. "I came to check on you, I realized you must not be feeling good when you were whimpering in your sleep." You then noticed that your throat was sore.

"I dont whimper." It came out horse, youtried to clear your throat as much as you could.

"You did, it was adorable." He smiled. He walked around the couch to take a seat next to you. "Your not feeling well. I can feel it." He had a look of worry. He always went on and on about how vulnerable mortals were and you wasnt doing anything to prove him wrong at this moment.

"Loki, I promise the worst this is is a cold that I technically caught from my idiot brother. Ill be fine in a few days. The only thing that aucks is I'll be stuck in here while the rest of you are out having the time of your lives." You huffed pulling the pillow under your head better.

"The rest of you? My dove, I can promise there is no rest of you if your not going to be there. The only reason I came on this dreaded team building experience is because of you." He offered you his hand and helped you stand so that he could guide you to the bed. "Lets lay here and watch the snow fall." He pulled your side of the blankets down and help you under them.

"That sounds like a plan Loki. Although I am a little hungry." You sat in bed as you watched him strip from the clothes he had been wearing all day and changing into a pair of black sleep pants. He started digging again. "I have your hoodie on." He looked over and shook his head with a smile.

"It looks better on you anyways. Of course I should have known that you would try to get me naked." He laughed. "Your brother saod he would bring something up in a bit. I had text him and told him you wasnt feeling all that well."

You stared in shock, "Textjng my brother? Looks like you have made some new friends."

"I wouldnt go that far, he said that he was afraid of you even if you were sick and I was probably the safest one in the room. He is going to vring a peace offering though." He pulled the blankets up around him as he settled in bed.

"The hawk shouldnt have flown his roost. Ill kill him once I get to feeling better." You grumbled.

"Sleep now my darling, get some rest. When we wake in the morning, of you are feeling any better, we will plot domination over your brother then." You felt him wrap his arms around you and kiss the top of your head before drifting off once more.

[anyoneseenadam]

Hi! Could you do an azriel x reader where they have a huge argument but it ends with fluff? Thank you!

pairing: azriel x reader (acotar)

warnings: mentions of self harm and suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, shouting, swearing and a butt ton of angst but with some fluff at end

a/n: this is kinda self indulgent because i’m vvv depressed rn and for some reason angst rlly makes me feel better so i hope u enjoy!! pls comment it rlly means the world <3

—————————————————————————-

You knew Azriel was stressed. His hands clenched, lips red from excessive chewing, his gaze stormy and sharp words hurting anyone that pried to deep. You knew you should leave him alone and let him finish whatever he needed to do, but it had been a week and while you had noticed he was stressed, he seemed oblivious to your pain.

You had woken up a week ago with a heavy head, your entire body weighing you down, making everything seem too loud and too bright. The first day you had laid in bed all day, barely eating and when Azriel found you hours later he simply presumed you had just taken an early night.

But you couldn’t sleep.

A few days later you were practically withering away. You had barely eaten in days; you couldn’t sleep, and you missed your mate horribly. Every part of you ached as you dragged yourself into the shower, desperate to scrub away the layer of dirt you could feel on your skin. You stood under the scalding water, hands moving on their own accord to wash your skin, your head moving a million miles an hour as your eyes itched from the hot tears that were mixing with the even hotter water.

You leaned a hand against the counter when you got out, your legs shaky and weak from the lack of food you had consumed, you considered just getting back into bed, but you knew you needed help. You had gotten like this before and it always ended in some form of unhealthy coping mechanism, but you had promised Azriel you wouldn’t do that again so you instead you pulled your clothes on again, not bothering to dry your hair and dragged your feet to the kitchen.

When you didn’t find him there you frowned but went about making yourself some toast to quell the nausea brewing in your stomach. With your food you padded through your house but couldn’t find him anywhere, feeling more hot tears spill as you realised he was out.

You knew his job was hard, but your heart ached as you realised he truly hadn’t noticed the change. You sent a pulse down the bond as you sank to the floor in tears, your head heavy and heart numb. You didn’t get any reply, so you tried sending another one, to no avail, almost as if he were waving away your cries for help.

You cried for about fifteen minutes, before standing and going back through to your room, sitting on your bed, and staring at a blemish in the floor as you fiddled with the toy you had kept since you were young. You felt guilty for the thoughts running through your head, never wanting to make Azriel alone but feeling so lost in your own head that all you wanted to do was die, to feel the lightness you vaguely remembered enjoying as a child. You were standing to move to your bathroom, itching for your razor when you heard the front door open, relief flooding through you that he was finally home.

You walked out the room, fiddling with the sleeves of your oversized hoodie as you went to meet him. He was standing in the kitchen, shoulders tight and your heart panged at the sight of him, stressed and tired. You considered turning and leaving him but remembered that he told you to always come to him when your head was being cruel, so you shuffled forward, wrapping your arms around his back, and pressing your face between his shoulder blades, breathing easier as you inhaled him, your heart feeling some form of peace at last.

But he shrugged you off, moving away from you and you felt white hot dread fill you.

“Not right now (y/n), I’m busy.” His voice was cold as he made himself a cup of coffee, not offering you one as he usually would.

“I- I know I just haven’t seen you in a while.” You fought to keep your voice steady, but he didn’t seem to notice or care about the breaks. You felt your breathing getting deeper and your hands were tingling as the panic rose in you.

“That’s because my jobs fucking important!” he shouted and you flinched, tears swarming in your eyes as you wiped your sweating hands on your hoodie, stepping to him.

“But you said I should come to you if-“ he cut you off by slamming his hands down, shoulder hunched and glare furious as he shouted at you.

“Will you just fuck off! I have important shit going on.” You stopped where you were standing as he picked up his mug, storming out the room and slamming the door to his office behind him.

Tears spilled out of your eyes and you stumbled as you sat down, legs and hands going numb as you hyperventilated, the panic attack hitting you full force as you sobbed into your hands, trying to muffle the sounds so you wouldn’t bother Azriel anymore than you already had. You counted your breaths as you dug your nails into your palm, trying to calm yourself down and thankfully, slowly your breathing began to return to normal as you wiped at your eyes.

Of course he didn’t care. No one else does, you don’t deserve him, and you should be thankful that you have someone so good to you. Half your brain was arguing in his favour as the other half protested, but he hurt you, you can’t let him in again, this is what happens when people get to close.

Your head kept arguing with itself as you pulled yourself upright, walking through to your room and climbing under the covers of your bed, crying yourself to sleep, head pounding and somehow heavier than before.

--

You woke up to an empty bed and pounding headache. You dragged yourself out from under the covers and went to receive a glass of water and some painkillers, finding Azriel in the kitchen.

He smiled softly at you when you came in, but you averted your gaze, going to the sink and filling a large glass.

“Would you like a coffee?” he asked, his hand coming to your hip, but you shook your head, pulling out of his grip and clearing your throat as a weighted silence filled the room. “I’m sorry I shouted at you,” he muttered, desperate to get you to look at him again, but you just turned away, muttering a small “it’s okay,” under your breath and leaving.

You walked back to your room and sat down on the bed as you sipped your water and taking two painkillers. Azriel followed you in soon after, guilt gnawing at his insides and he stood quietly and watched as you pulled the jumper you were wearing over your head, pulling on a clean one.

He inhaled sharply as he saw the change in your body, moving closer to you.

“Have you been eating?” he asked, and you closed your eyes, facing away from him and staying silent as you no longer trusted your voice or temper. “Baby, you have to eat.” While he said it in a pleading manner, your brain heard it as angry, thousands of comments pertaining to how worthless you were springing to the forefront of your mind.

“It’s kinda hard to eat when you want to die.” You snapped and Azriel felt a pang go through his heart.

“(y/n). You promised me you would come to me if you felt that way,” he was frustrated, hating himself for getting annoyed at you but angry that you were ignoring him.

You laughed bitterly and you went to the bathroom, scrubbing the old makeup of your face, “I did. Or at least tried to,”

You stormed past him, pulling on a pair of joggers before moving to leave the house, but Azriel caught your arm.

“You haven’t done anything stupid have you?” he asked, worry and guilt filling him as your eyes filled with tears, finally looking at him enough that he could see the dark circles surrounding your hollow eyes, your skin dull and lacking its usual dewy finish.

“Why do you care.” You pulled your arm from his grip, stepping back and creating space between the two of you.

“Because you’re my mate and I need to know that you’re okay.” He tried to move closer again, but you stepped back so he stopped.

“Your mate huh? Then why haven’t I seen you in a fucking week, even though we fucking live together! Why are you only just noticing that I’m struggling!?” each word hit him like a blow and only his decades of training stopped him from bursting into tears, falling to his knees and begging your forgiveness.

“I was struggling so much, I couldn’t leave my bed, I wasn’t eating, I wanted to kill myself and as soon as I tried to reach out for help you shut me down.” You head was bowed, tears flowing freely as you sobbed into your hand.

He stepped closer his arms wrapping around you as you sobbed into his chest, “I’m sorry baby, I’m so, so sorry,” he kissed your head, his heart cracking at your next muffled words.

“You only care now because you feel bad. I don’t need your sympathy.”

“No baby, I’m sorry. I care so much I was just tired and stressed last night and I know that’s not an excuse, but you have to know how much I care about you. I love you so much and I need you to be okay.” He tightened his arms around you, bringing the two of you to kneel on the floor.

“I’m not okay Az,” you muttered, and his chest tightened as he stroked your back, allowing you to cry for as long as you needed.

“I know baby, but it’s okay. We’ll get through this, together.” He kissed your forehead lightly and you tilted your head to look at him, eyes wide and glassy with tears. He kissed one of the tears that was slowly trailing down your face away and you sniffed, before he kissed you lightly. He picked you up and carried you over to the bed, the two of you lying down together, tucked safely into his arms as he whispered sweet nothings and apologies to you as you fell asleep. Tears drying on their own.

[skzsauce01]

King of Hearts

Synopsis: The king of hearts has a very special surprise planned for his queen. Heavy inspiration from Alice in Wonderland and Alice Through the Looking Glass.

Warning: murder

Word Count: 4.5k

Pairing: fem!reader x king!Chan

The throne room looks best at night when the moonlight spills through the giant glass windows and illuminates the wall of weapons behind the throne. It is an odd array of mostly clubs, maces, and swords, but dead center in the wall and above the plush red velvet seat of the king is a heavy double-bladed axe. Crafted and honed to be as sharp as a diamond knife, it is the perfect tool for executions.

Tomorrow evening it’s gleaming, polished surface will splattered with the blood of a queen.

The king allows himself to admire his collection of weaponry for another minute before returning to his bedchambers where his wife is surely missing his warm presence.

“Good morning, sweet tart,” your husband purrs into your ear. “It’s a special day today.”

You have been awake for the past hour, pretending to be fast asleep when you were actually sneaking glances of Chan in various states of undress. However, you keep your eyes closed and your breathing steady, knowing that he will start planting kisses down your jaw if you’re not awake soon.

“I know you’re not really sleeping,” he continues. He taps the corner of your mouth, and you try not to smile. “I saw you looking earlier.”

You give up the charade and sit up. “Can you blame me?” you grin. “You always dress so nicely for court trials. How many are on the agenda today?”

“Four,” he replies, pulling you closer to him. You playfully squirm in his embrace, and he placates you with exactly four kisses on the crown of your head. “Will you be attending?”

You sink into him and wish you could stay there all day. Just the thought of your own schedule tires you. “I have to ‘entertain’ my sister.”

Chan’s throaty chuckle rumbles against your cheek. “Just until dinnertime, sweet tart. Then you’ll be free.”

“I know. Thank goodness she’ll be busy after dinner.”

Reluctantly you let go of your husband and stumble out of bed. Your dreadful sister will nag at you in that awful harpy-esque way of hers if you’re even a second late to breakfast. Chan makes a feeble attempt to grab your wrist before following you to the vanity.

“Is the king not needed in court yet?” you tease as you brush out the tangles in your hair.

He wraps his arms around your shoulders and presses his cheek against yours. “I’m missing something.”

It’s a silly tradition from your courting days: a kiss for each departure. He insisted on keeping it even when the two of you married, and you happily obliged. You turn to peck him on the cheek, but he twists his head so that your lips land onto his. He laughs at your noise of surprise and kisses you like he’s never going to see you again. It has been a while since Chan has been this intimate with you, and you eagerly return his affections.

“Someone’s in a good mood,” you remark when he finally pulls away. You feel warm all over, but Chan is as composed as ever.

He smiles, full dimples showing. “It’s a special day today.”

“Goodbye, darling,” you say as you watch him leave the room through the vanity mirror.

He gives you one last glance before disappearing through the door. You note that he didn’t bother to fix his mussed up hair and giggle when you picture how he’ll look with the crown on his head.

It’s a good start to a bad day.

“You’re late,” is what your older sister greets you with.

You sit across from her at the dining table and do your best not to scowl. You wonder how the servants feel about her. There are none in the room, so in typical fashion, she must have dismissed them for one negligible reason or another. “Good morning to you too, Nari.”

“What are you wearing? Does this kingdom only wear red and black?” she continues. She picks up her cup of tea and stares at you above the lip, waiting for you to explain. Even with a team of royal advisors and a sister married to a foreign king, she still refuses to learn anything about kingdoms other than her own.

You sigh and try to remember Chan’s words. You only have to suffer through this until dinner and then your sister will finally be gone. “It’s a court day, so everyone wears red and black. It’s custom.”

“You and your frivolous trials,” she scoffs. “What’s the point when they’re all guilty anyway? So, are you going to ask about my trip? Where are your manners, little sister?”

You’re certain she means well when she nags you, but it doesn’t make it any less irritating. “How is everything at home?” you ask instead, knowing that will produce a shorter answer.

“Fine. Felix is ruling in my stead, but most of my advisors are with him, so he’ll have no trouble with it.” Nari picks up a scone topped with confectioner’s sugar and eyes it curiously before taking a bite. “Your sweets are quite good.”

You primly nod and pour yourself a cup of tea. Breakfast is mostly silent, and you’re glad that you nor your sister care to make conversation. You can barely stand her when she’s in a tolerable mood, and it seems like she’s nothing of the sort today. Her usual haughty disposition is only tempered by her breakfast of sweets. Nari seems to be enjoying the food with less complaints than usual, and you feel just a bit smug.

When the servants come to clear away the plates, you hollowly suggest to show Nari the rose gardens. She cheerfully agrees and links arms with you as you lead her outside.

It’s an uncomfortable feeling to have her so close to you after you haven’t seen her in a year. It’s even odder when you realize that she hasn’t linked arms with you since you were five and she eight. You mindlessly point out a few varieties of flowers on the way to the garden and wonder why your normally cold sister has turned warm.

“Is everything alright?” you ask once you have led her to the middle of the garden. The sweet scent of the roses always relaxes you, and hopefully they will do the same for Nari. “You’re acting strange all of a sudden.”

She lets you go and stands in front of you. “Your husband. I don’t like him.”

“We courted for two years,” you remind her, frowning at the memory of her telling you the same thing when Chan first arrived at your home. “And we’re married now. I know you don’t like him, but there’s nothing you can do now.”

She shakes her head. “Do you know what the village girls call him? I stopped in town yesterday, and all the girls could talk about was Chan, the King of Hearts! They went on and on about his ‘perfect face’ and ‘perfect body.’ Think about what he’s done to get such a name!”

“Be an eligible, handsome future king?” You sigh and grab a nearby rose to stick your nose in. You will not give her the satisfaction of setting you off. “Nari,” you begin, your terse voice muffled by the petals, “it’s natural that you want to protect me, but if you’re only here to criticize Chan, then I’m not sure what to do with you during your stay.”

“I saw him stare at me when I arrived last night,” she protests. “Like an animal, unabashed.”

You almost snort at her claim. If anything, Chan dislikes Nari more than you do due to her constant nitpicks of him during the courting years. The incessant “You will never be good enough for her” and “Stay away from my siblings” surprisingly did not deter him from proposing to you.

“I’m sure it was disdain, not lust,” you dryly reply.

“I feel like I’m being watched in this place,” she continues, ignoring your remark. “I don’t trust him or anyone here.”

No wonder why she suddenly put on a facade the moment the servants stepped in the dining room.

“What do you think of the garden?” you ask to change the subject. You cannot fight with her on court day and with so many guests in the castle. “These are our prized roses. Chan said it took the gardeners and florists years to breed them.”

Nari glances at the flower you hold and purses her lips. “It looks like someone painted a white rose red. There’s still spots of white on them. You’re certain they were bred and not painted?”

You swallow the retort in your throat and reach out for another rose to inhale. Nari is just being Nari.

“How about a game of croquet?” You take her elbow and start leading her to the croquet court without waiting for a response. “I think you’ll enjoy it. I’ll teach you how to play.”

Nari roughly snatches her arm back, and her eyes flash with an unfamiliar fire. “You’re not taking any of this seriously, little sister. All the village tarts have likely been with him already, so you mean nothing to him! Isn’t that his cute, little pet name for you too? ‘Sweet tart?’ You’re pathetic.”

For all Nari has said in the past, she has never directly insulted you like this. The fragile restraint you have on your emotions snaps.

“You just hate Chan because he didn’t want to marry you!” you shout, pointing an accusing finger at her. “You’re just bitter that he chose me instead of you! And do you know why he and no one else likes you? Because you’re a cold, angry, bitter hag that nitpicks everything! And you think you’re such a perfect ruler, but the truth is that your advisors hate you and like Felix better! I bet the entire kingdom is happier without you!”

It comes out in one long breath, and you’re red in the face from screaming years of pent up feelings at your sister. It feels good to let it all out. With a sick sense of delight, you watch as Nari turns scarlet and as her eyes gloss over with tears.

“I’m going back to my chambers,” she frostily says.

She pushes past you, and you don’t try to follow her. Even though it’s a longer way back to the castle, you take the opposite path and head to the courtroom.

At least someone will be happy to see you.

You appear placid when you enter the courtroom, which is just the throne room with extra chairs for the jury and audience. Everyone stares at you as you walk to the empty seat reserved for you at king’s side.

“Hello, darling,” you whisper to him as you fluff out your skirts. “My sister decided to retire early to her room.”

He nods in reply and turns back to the defendant. “Proceed.”

Despite his reserved facade, he places one hand on top of yours and starts fiddling with your fingers to try and make you burst out into laughter. It’s a game you and him play during court days, and he has won the past three rounds. However, by the time the defendant is found guilty, neither of you have broken each other.

Chan calls to break for afternoon tea, but you and him linger in the empty room.

He helps you up from your seat and pulls you into an embrace in one fluid motion. “Court is much more fun with you,” he sighs into your hair. “Have I mentioned how stunning you look in red?”

“Only every time I wear it.” You reach up and brush a stray curl from his temple. “Might I say, you look even more handsome than when I saw you this morning.”

“It must be all the guilty verdicts. Are you going to watch the executions in the evening?”

“I always do.” Your eyes fall onto the double-bladed axe above the throne. “It’s my favorite part of court day.”

“I think you’ll enjoy today’s very much.” He slips his arm from your waist to your hands and begins leading you to the dining hall. “I heard the cook made jam tarts for tea today. Your favorite.”

You lean into him and smile at his pleased expression. “You requested them, didn’t you? She hasn’t made them in ages!”

“Sweet tarts for my sweet tart,” he playfully says, kissing your fingertips and making you giggle. “I thought they would make afternoon tea with your sister less awful.”

The mere mention of Nari turns your mood sour. “I hope she skips tea.”

“Did you two quarrel?”

“When do we not?”

Two servants open the door to the dining hall, and to your vast disappointment, you spot Nari seated at an empty table by a window, a cup of tea in hand. Her head is turned, and you can’t see her face, but she is the only person in the room not wearing red and black.

You hesitate by the door, and Chan nudges you toward her. “Your sister’s here.”

“Don’t you hate Nari?” you try. “Please don’t make me talk to her.”

“I do, but politics. She’s my sister-in-law” — he doesn’t even bother to hide the disgust in his voice  — “and the queen of a foreign kingdom. You hate her less than I do.”

The last part is debatable. “I get a front seat at the executions tonight,” you negotiate. “And jam tarts for tea for the rest of the week.”

Chan gratefully kisses your cheek and murmurs into your ear, “You can request jam tarts from the cook whenever you like, you know. I’ll see you after.”

You should have demanded more, like handling executions instead of getting a front row seat to them. He would have never agreed to that.

While he leaves to chat with some aristocrats about the past trials, you stiffly walk towards your sister. You take the empty chair in front of her and curtly say a greeting. She says nothing and instead pours you a cup of tea. For a minute, the two of you choose to sip your drinks and nibble on the quiches and tarts.

“Have you come to apologize?” Nari says in a strange brittle way. She finally looks up from the table, and you see that her eyes are ringed with red.

You want to say no because you haven’t, but a small part of you feels guilty for making her cry. As far as you remember, Nari stopped crying when she was eight.

However, you’re still upset. “No because you’ve never apologized to me. For saying all those things about me and for being rude to Chan all the time.”

“I meant all those things.”

“So did I.”

Another silence. You sneak glances at her, and judging by the fact that she’s still chewing on the same mini quiche from two minutes ago, she’s barely holding it together.

“Here,” you abruptly say, placing a raspberry jam tart on her plate. “I know you like sweets better.”

You can see her debating whether she should take your peace offering or not. Her jaw is set as she looks down at it, but her fingers twitch like she wants to grab it and taste it.

“It’s good, I promise.”

She takes a cautious bite of it and slowly reaches for another from the tower of treats. In the meantime, you refill your cups with more tea and smirk when you see the content expression Nari has when she finishes the tart. Across the room, Chan gives you an encouraging smile at your efforts.

“How’s Felix?” you ask. Your little brother is usually a safe topic. “He’s going to be old enough to be king soon, isn’t he?”

“According to you, he’ll make a much better ruler than me,” she sniffs.  “But I’m the eldest, so I was always going to be queen. Unlike whatever nonsensical laws you have here.”

She says ‘here’ like she said ‘pathetic’ earlier. Nari says something about Felix and how his studies are going, but you’re too concerned with keeping your anger in check to hear it.

“You can never leave anything alone, can you?” you snap in the midst of her spiel. You wrap all of the tarts — yes, every single one from the tea tower, much to your sister’s dismay — in a bundle of napkins and stand up. “I’ll see you at dinner, Nari.”

You hear her huff a reply about how immature you’re being, but you don’t care. On your way back to the courtroom, someone grabs your wrist and spins you toward them.

You already know it’s Chan. “I tried but—”

“Are you really going to take all those tarts and share none with me?”

“Oh?” You hold out the napkins and let him pick between raspberry jam and lemon curd. “You’re not here to come tell me to make nice with my sister?”

“I saw it wasn’t going well, so I called for court to resume in ten minutes,” he says, licking the leftover jam from his fingers. He smiles reassuringly at you. “Don’t lose your pretty head over her. She’s…”

“Annoying? Rude? Deserving of none of our kindness?”

He stifles a laugh at your tone and starts leading to the courtroom. “Difficult,” is what he finally settles upon, but you can hear the exasperation in his voice. “She won’t be a problem for you much longer though.”

“I can hardly wait until tomorrow,” you sigh. “Goodbye, dreadful Nari.”

All the pastries are finished by the time you and Chan take your designated seats. No one else has arrived yet, so Chan takes off his crown and rests his head on your shoulders. He contently sighs and nestles his face into the crook of your neck.

“I think you’ll like this trial,” he mumbles, his tickly breath making you giggle. “It’s why jam tarts have been a scarcity for the past two weeks.”

“Is the cook on the stand?” you joke. The double doors to the throne room start to open, and you raise your shoulder. “Darling.”

Within seconds, King Bang Chan is back and your adoring husband shelved away. More people fill the empty seats in the room, and you watch the entrance carefully to ensure your sister hasn’t decided to show up and make your day worse. It’s unlikely since she is bound to be upset, but you can never be too sure. As expected though, she never arrives, and you sigh in relief. When the trial begins, Chan’s hand is over yours, fiddling with your fingers again. You gladly continue the game as the defendant enters in chains, flocked by two guards.

However, no one wins. The trial is quickly over as the knave is soon found guilty of stealing fruit preserves from the royal kitchen. After the courtroom clears out and you and Chan exchange departing kisses, you retire to your chambers to get dressed for dinner while he goes off elsewhere to attend to more kingly duties.

You don’t see him again until you have finished your bath and the maids are pinning up your hair. Through the vanity mirror, you watch as he enters the bedchambers with his crown missing, hair mussed, and the top of his shirt unbuttoned.

“Hello, darling,” you call out, noticing his satisfied smile. “I see you enjoyed whatever it was that you were doing earlier.”

He gestures for the maids to leave, and they do so in a hurry. He walks over to you and wraps his arms around your shoulders, pressing his lips to your neck at the same time. Every part of you is hyper aware of his proximity when he mumbles, “I did.”

He protests when you lean away and weakly cite your delicate half-done updo. Despite his feelings, he gives you a kiss on your temple and goes to take his bath; dinner will be starting in an hour.

Unsure of what to make of Chan’s reply, you call the maids back in and sit like a statue while they finish your hair. Nari is wrong, you tell yourself. She doesn’t know a single thing about your husband.

Her accusations of him, however, swirl around in your head, and they are all you can think about when there are no more hair tugging and pin stabbings. When Chan emerges from his bath, whistling the cheery execution song, he grins at you and says in tune, “Have I mentioned you look beautiful in red?”

A different kind of chill washes over you, but you still reply back with a stiff smile. “Only every time I wear it.”

He walks over to you and wraps one arm around your shoulders. The scent of soap and cologne that you typically find so comforting is suddenly pungent and overpowering. You can see that his other arm is hidden behind his back, and you can’t look anywhere else.

“Here,” he says. He tucks a red-and-white rose behind your hair, and you jump a bit when you feel the dampness of the petals against your skin. “I’m surprised you didn’t notice these in the bath. They’re your favorite.”

“It’s been a long day,” you tell him. You abruptly stand up and nod to the door. “Should we get to dinner?”

He loops his arm around your waist and leads you to the dining hall. “Were those tarts not filling enough?” he teases. “Or are you just excited for the executions after?”

“I suppose both.”

The finale of court day is the last thing on your mind.

Dinner passes by in a blur. For the first time of the day, you actively look around for Nari and are shocked and disappointed when she doesn’t show up. Maybe you should have been kinder. You airily laugh at the jokes the aristocrats make and make a few of your own about the trials, but your mind and eyes go back to Chan. He sits at the head of the table and merrily cheers with others over another successful court day. You catch him gazing lovingly at you occasionally, and you don’t know what to think anymore.

Soon, the crowd gathers to the execution site outside where servants have set up chairs and lit lanterns. As promised, Chan lets you have the best seat in the house. You sit quietly while he changes into his executioner’s robes and while he is presented with his double-bladed axe.

The guards bring the criminals from the prison, their heavy chains clanging against one another. Four guilty verdicts, four heads to roll. You normally would be thrilled by this prospect, but tonight’s jubilation has been dulled. Nevertheless, you clap after each punishment and admire how clean the cuts are. The wooden chopping block soon drips with blood, and a metallic tang fills the air.

A servant comes to dispose of all the remains, and most of the audience turns to leave, but Chan still lingers around.

“There’s still one more execution left,” he announces. He wipes the blade clean and nods at the guards. “A very special one I planned in surprise for my wife.”

You hear the gasps before you can even process his words. You turn to find out what the fuss is about, and your eyes grow wide when you spot a familiar lily-white dress through the crowd.

“Darling,” you shakily ask, “what is this?”

Chan grins widely at you and readjusts the axe in his grip. “You’re going to be the queen of two kingdoms, sweet tart.”

The guards force your sister to stop in front of you, and Chan rips off the gag in front of her mouth. Nari doesn’t say a word, but the look in her eye says it all: “I told you so.”

“What is this?” you repeat. You wring your hands in the folds of your skirts and try to figure out what exactly is happening.

Your sister is about to be executed for unknown reasons, your husband seems rather nonchalant about the whole situation, and you suppose you are as well. With the chains manacled around her wrists and the guards standing behind her, Nari feels like just another criminal to be punished.

“For starters, you and I don’t like her,” Chan says, walking closer. He glances over at Nari. “She’s a terrible queen, and from what I’ve been told by my advisors, she’s too busy with pretending to be a queen to actually rule.”

“He’s a liar!” Nari spits out, flushing bright red at the allegation. “Don’t you forget that he has mistresses all over town and that you’re just another pretty plaything to him!”

The audience, having heard her accusations, gasps again, and a wave of whispers rolls through the crowd. You glance over at Chan to see his reaction.

He looks terrifying.

His usual cool composure is streaked with anger so hot, you can almost feel it radiating off of him. He thickly swallows, and his hand bearing the bloodstained axe starts to shake. His breathing turns ragged when he finally looks at Nari.

“You think that I would have an affair? You think I would be disloyal to her?” The next sentence comes out in a cold, calm breath. “I’ll execute you on that charge alone.”

“Wait!” you shout at Chan before he can drag her to the execution block. More quietly, you say, “Explain yourself. When you came into the room.”

His face softens as he realizes the implications of his earlier appearance. He cups your face with his free hand. “I was getting your sister taken to the prison. Unfortunately, she wouldn’t go on her own accord, so there was a bit of a scuffle. The guards took care of her later though. I could never be disloyal to you, Y/N.”

No pet names, no teasing. He’s dead serious.

You switch back to your sister, who is still clinging firm to her beliefs. Look at her steadfast expression! “You’re the liar,” you sardonically laugh. “You almost made me believe your lies! You… you almost turned me against my husband! And what for? Your own jealousy?”

“To protect you! And I was right too!” She sharply nods at the crowd of aristocrats. “Look at this madness! Court days and execution parties?”

“Like you don’t order the deaths of criminals yourself!” You motion for the guards to take her to the execution block. You hate her so much right now, and you can barely see past the haze of red overtaking your vision. “Goodbye, Nari.”

“So you’re just going to let him kill me?” she yells. She tries to grab your shoulders at the last second, but the guards pull her back. “He’s an awful man, killing me for such a petty reason! And you’re pathetic for standing by him!”

Pathetic.

It echoes in your ears, and you want to snatch the axe out of Chan’s hands and do it yourself. However, you instead bite out, “Shut up. It’s the least you can do to apologize to me.”

Chan cleans the blade with the cloth from Nari’s gag, and you watch as the white fabric gets painted with scarlet like your sister’s stupid notion about the roses. He raises the axe over her head, and the metal flashes in the lantern light.

You look your sister in the eye. “Off with your head.”

And off her head goes.

~ ad.gray

[aching-tummies]

if i was your partner... I'd take you on a date to the county fair. I know you have a sweet tooth, and I promise to buy you whatever you want. When we get there, we haven't had dinner yet so we get a big meal of hamburgers and hot dogs, and some fried dough and cotton candy for you. I tell you I want to take a lap around the fair to see what rides there are, and get you as many treats as you want. Ice cream, churros, sodas and milkshakes all end up in your belly... 1/?

I’ve never been to a fair/amusement park or anything so when my beloved suggests we go I’m excited. Since I was a child, I’ve always wanted to go to these things because friends that have gone always have such cool stories about the rides or cute ones about laughing and having fun with their dates. Also…the occasional fair food item sounds delicious.

At the same time, I’m wary of the food because I’ve eaten stuff like ice cream, churros, milkshakes, and hot dogs before. Not at a fair setting and definitely not all in the same day. Past experience tells me that these are the kinds of foods that give me a queasy tummy ache individually. The idea of eating them all in the same day has me apprehensive. Absentmindedly, I press my hands to my tummy as though guarding it from the thought of such a nasty ache.

The day of the fair arrives and excitement has given way to nerves and those nerves have gone straight to my stomach. As we get out of the car and approach the fair grounds my stomach clenches and does flips. An empty growl splits the air but peters off into an inaudible, nauseous burble. I haven’t eaten much since you told me about our visit to the fair. The thought of fair-food filled me with dread since I knew we were coming and I guess I subconsciously lost my appetite in preparation…to try to give the fair-food a blank slate as though in hopes it’ll hurt less if it’s just the fair-food bouncing around in my gut. I rub my tummy with both hands, squeezing my eyes shut against the sensations rolling within it. I want to bolt. I want to go home. It’s like my tummy knows exactly where we are going and knows it’s in for something nasty.

I toy with the idea of asking that we just go on rides. I try to formulate the words, to make up a reason why I won’t be eating anything at the fair. Variations of “my tummy’s upset” or “I ate earlier and I’m full” come to mind. The latter wouldn’t be something I could fool you with. We’ve been together the whole day and you know naught but water has passed my lips all day. If my stomach weren’t sickeningly empty, I would definitely have thrown up by now. The anxiety of the impending situation twists in my gut, and I feel like a solid mass is forming inside my hollow gut…an imagined mass that sends urgent “puke” signals to my brain. I feel my stomach muscles convulse and I squeeze my eyes shut as it snarls again.

Your hand comes to my stomach and jolts me out of my thoughts.

“Aww…hungry?” You say as you pat my stomach through my clothes. You heard the hunger part of the growl and you took my hands on my tummy as a sign of a hunger pang. Or so I think.

“Uhm…n-not exac—"

“They sell food in there. Let’s grab some hotdogs before we check out the rides.” You pat your own stomach, triggering a growl that has no hint of nausea in it. “I’m hungry too.”

My stomach burbles as you all but push me forward, walking us to the entrance of the grounds. Each step brings the thought, “dead man (stomach) walking”. I had opted to eat less/not at all in preparation for this day because I didn’t want to come to the grounds with an upset tummy. My own stupid anxiety over what this kind of food does to me foiled that plan. If I had known my stomach would be upset entering the grounds regardless of whether or not I had eaten anything I would have just eaten something rather than endure hunger for so long.

“Uhm…d-darling? Hotdogs…uhm…y-you know what hot dogs do to my stom—”

“Ooh! Chilli-dogs! Yeah, those beat hot-dogs any day. We’re getting some!” It’s like you didn’t hear me. Tears prickle my lashes as I realize you’ve cut off all my attempts at telling you something is wrong. I open my mouth again but the glint in your eye shuts me up.

You know. The way your hand is snaked around my waist and how your palm is pressed up against my tummy is a new clue. The gentle, subtle rubs you’re giving me, that I haven’t noticed until now—you’ve done similar motions before. When I lost a dear family member you made those same motions on the back of my neck and on my shoulder when you put your arm around me. It’s your go to ‘comforting’ move. You know what’s on my mind. You know how upset my tummy is. You know I’m anxious about the impending stomach ache. And I know about your fascination with my stomach; we aren’t just here for the fair.

“Let’s walk and eat. Fair grounds are huge and I don’t know exactly what rides they have this year. Let’s do a lap, or two, and fill our tummies with all the different food as we narrow down which ones we want to go on.”

You’re still rubbing lazy circles on my tummy. Your voice and the gentle rubs slowly bring me out of my own head and the tight vice-like coil of anxiety in my gut unclenches just a little. The anxiety lessens just enough for a hungry growl to squeeze out. You know exactly what rides are offered. You studied the pamphlet thoroughly and I know for a fact you have a ranking order of your favorite rides. You love the fair and are a seasoned fair-goer. The walk is for my benefit. Suggesting two laps and suggesting that we slowly fill our bellies is entirely for the sake of my tummy. Starting at the fair with an already upset tummy wasn’t in the plan. You don’t just want to deal with an anxious tummy or a sickly one…the food and the fair-experience are part of your script for tonight. I take a deep breath and try to calm my nerves. If I let myself throw up it’s all over—that’ll be the end of the night. I don’t want to rob you of your opportunity to enjoy the fair. It only happens once a year. I don’t want to imagine having to deal with an entire year of an anxiety-induced stomach ache—knowing that you’ll try again next year.

“O-Okay…uhm…c-could we just split the food? I-I just want a bite or two of everything.” I pat my tummy. “You know my capacity is garbage.” You grin.

“Sure! One large chili-dog it is. Wanna choose what flavor milkshake we get? Oh, and the churros at one particular truck are to die for—you gotta try ‘em!”

And…we’re off. Your hand slides away from my waist and takes my hand instead as you pull me into the fair. I slide a reassuring hand on my tummy, hidden behind my messenger-bag. I rub my tummy gently, trying to quell the upset.

2/? ... and by the time we're ready to ride a ride, I can hear your tummy grumbling noisily. I ask if you're okay, and you insist, though you look a bit nauseous. We end up on the Tilt-A-Whirl, and afterwards, your stomach is louder than ever. I ask if you're hungry, if maybe that'll help your loud, bloated aching belly, and you say yes. More treats end up in your tummy, until its aching so bad you can barely stand...

A large chili-dog, a sub-par burger, and a churro have disappeared between both our guts and I’m currently polishing off the large choco-banana milkshake we ordered. Sure, you had most of the chili-dog and the burger was because you were still hungry—I’ve let you have the lion’s share of the solid foods. I meant to let you have most of the milkshake too, but you’ve been sneakily finding ways to have it end up in my hands and to my lips.

My stomach is comfortable right now. There’s a barely-there queasiness in it but it’s slight enough to be ignored. It’s quite noisy though, churning away as it tries to break down what’s gone into it. You’ve been rubbing my tummy as we’ve been walking for the last ten minutes or so and I’m sure your rubs are the only reason my stomach is comfortable right now. Without the rubs, a normal fast-food combo has been enough to give me a twisting ache in my gut, enough to get me to cry and dash off to a bathroom to be rid of the mess.

“Oh, hey! Let’s go on that!” You gesture to the roller-coaster we’ve arrived at. I’ve never been on one. “Oh…damn…no drinks allowed on it.”

I raise my eyebrow quizzically as I rattle the empty milkshake cup. You offer a sheepish smile and hold up a full cup of cola you’ve been clutching in your other hand. “Came with the burger. Could’ja help? My tummy’s gettin’ kinda full.” You place a hand on your slightly rounded tummy.

Sure, it’s only cola…but neither of us is in the habit of wasting food. Steeling my nerves, I grab the cola and begin to suck at the straw, taking it down in gulps and thanking the heavens that it’s small as far as beverage containers go.

You pat my grumbling tummy as I finish the cola, forcing a sharp belch to pass my lips. “You didn’t have to chug it, we could have come back.” You coo as you continue to pat and rub my tummy. I groan, realizing my stupidity. My stomach sloshes sickeningly and rumbles violently at the sudden addition.

“Nah. We’ve already done two laps around the grounds. If we’re going to ride anything now’s the time.” A part of me just wants this night to be over. That cola pushed the discomfort meter in my gut higher. There’s a tight pressure inside of me right now and I want to believe it’s just the carbonation from the cola.

We share a car in the roller coaster. I grip the bar. Do not throw up. Do not throw up. Do not throw up. Repeats like a mantra in my head. Just as the coaster starts rolling, you release the bar and put both hands on my gut. You knead into my tummy, forcing burps out as I grip the rail tightly for the both of us. We have seatbelts and all that…the bar is just there for an extra level of safety. You’re experienced, you know we won’t fall even if we aren’t white-knuckling it so you put your hands to a different use. Each loop and sharp turn of the coaster causes your grip on my tummy to tighten. A particularly sharp turn sends your entire form slamming against me and your elbow meets my stomach and has me feeling something wet surge up my esophagus but I fight it down. You’ve managed to get most of the gas out of my tummy before the big loop of the coaster, at which point you offer one last pat to my tummy and turn to face forward properly. My stomach churns as we slow and watch the looming loop seeming to creep up on us. As we crawl up the loop my own hands clutch my tummy and I begin to squeeze, short and small burps burble out of me. You raise an eyebrow but are more fixated on the coaster. I want the gas out. I don’t want the inversion to cause a burp to bring up something else when we’re completely upside-down.

As we climb out of the coaster all that is left in my gut is a dense mass of thick sludge swirling around in a lake of cola. Some of the milk from the shake most definitely curdled in the acid bath of the cola. I let out a few moans as I walk and my hands have not left my tummy since we got off. I cradle my churning gut as I make my way to a miraculously empty bench.

“Babe, you okay?” Concern colors your voice as you skip after me. I need a few minutes for my stomach to re-orient itself. I can feel the thick sludge swimming in my gut and it is not a pleasant feeling. The squeals and whines from my gut betray that it doesn’t like the sensations either.

You’ve disappeared and I’m too absorbed in the activity in my tummy to care. Bathroom break, maybe. I press into my tummy cautiously, wincing at the churning grumble that is pushed forth from it. I can’t help but groan under my breath. My stomach really sick. I feel like it’s a sack of vomit churning violently rather than a stomach at this point.

I hear the crinkle of paper and I open my eyes. Something crisp and golden is shoved into my face as though you are presenting me with a bouquet of flowers.

“Is that?” My eyes widen.

“Yup! A Bloomin’ Onion! I saw a stall selling ‘em while we were on the coaster.” You announce proudly as you plop yourself down next to me.

Eagerly, I reach to tear off a piece of the treat, my nauseous tummy forgotten.

“I thought you’d need something to settle your stomach and maybe absorb some of the mess in there.” You pat my noisily churning tummy. “A-also…you’ve always wanted to try this thing, right? ‘cuz you love onion rings.”

“Mmph.” I give you an affirmative grunt as my mouth is full of the treat. You giggle and tear off some for yourself.

Once the onion has disappeared between the two of us my stomach is feeling moderately better. I’ve eaten most of it. I’ll definitely come to regret putting something so oily down the hatch, but I take your hand and suggest more rides before it has time to bloom into a full-blown sickly ache. I’m resigned to it now. We’ve got precious few minutes before my stomach begins to literally belly-ache about what’s gone into it.

We arrive at your favorite, the Tilt-a-Whirl. Nothing will stop me from letting you enjoy this ride tonight. I hope my stomach gets the memo. As I hear the screams from the ride, I notice someone off to the side of it, hurling into a convenient trash bin. I grimace, willing that not to be me.

“Babe, you sure you’re up for this?” You’re worried. I take your hand as we get in the (thankfully) short line.

“Yeah. You love this ride. It’s fine.” My tummy grumbles deeply, sounding like a dying lawn mower or something.

You slide your hands around my waist, rubbing and patting at the upset vat that is my stomach. Your hands are magic. By the time we’re at the front of the line my stomach is still churning, and aching, but not as violently as it was before. There’s a very present ache in my guts but it’s just under the threshold between a full-blown stomach ache and something that could just be classified as discomfort.

The seatbelt is tight against my tummy and I have doubts, almost caving and telling the staff I’ve changed my mind and to let me off before the ride has even begun. As the cup spins the centrifugal force causes the belt to cut into my stomach jostling it every which way. I grow steadily more and more nauseous as the ride goes on. I don’t have your miracle hands on my tummy and that thought is enough to make me want to cry. Seeking some escapism, I let my mind wander as I try to focus on anything but the violent churning in my tummy. This ride has accomplished in thirty seconds what it took your hands thirty minutes to fix.

I imagine how this ride looks from above. It must look pretty cool—my thoughts are interrupted by a new one: how this ride looks from above is how my stomach feels right now. Uneven, unpredictable churning with little bits seeming to churn within the mess. Yeah, the inventor of this thing must have seen some cruel irony in fabricating a ride that was an external representation of what it was causing internally.

When the ride ends I practically stumble into you. You laugh, dizzy yourself, and we move together. I’m leaning on you, whimpering and clutching at my distressed tummy. I can feel it. I want to throw up. The vomit signals are very strong but it feels like one of the chunks of curdled whatever has blocked the path to my esophagus. My stomach convulses and I whine as it grumbles angrily.

Your hand comes to my tummy. “Aww…baby…you hungry? The most of a solid thing you’ve eaten today has been that onion. Maybe something more solid in your tummy will calm it down?”

I can no longer tell if you’re sticking to your kink-script or if you genuinely believe my sickly tummy is in need of some proper sustenance. My stomach feels too awful to care so I let you lead me by the hand wherever it is you want us to go.

I don’t protest when something is shoved into my hands. You tell me to eat and I mechanically bring it to my mouth and take bites. I don’t even know what it is you’re making me eat, but many different treats disappear into my tummy. I think there was a burrito of some sort at one point. At least two different churros have made an appearance too. A slice of pizza, dripping with grease, is definitely one of the items if the layer of grease floating in my gut is any indication.

“Ergh…ugh…” I curl, bringing my knees up and sandwiching my arms over my belly. You led me to a sort of hidden bench. We’re kind of behind one of the tents for some carnival game and there’s tree-coverage around us. You wanted some privacy while you fed me and I’m grateful for it because I’m certain my stomach is about to spill out of my mouth and I do not want an audience. Upset doesn’t even begin to cover how bad it feels. I feel like I’ve swallowed lava and the molten mass is burning away my digestive organs. The lingering ‘discomfort’ of an ache threatening to bloom finally explodes and I curl up tightly, the added pressure not doing any favors for my poor, achy tummy. “Ugh…urp…n-no more…please? Ugh…babe…it hurts. My tummy hurts so, so much…” My stomach protests just vocally as I do.

I end up flopping over onto my side on the bench, knees still curled up to press my arms into my sickly belly. You guide me to make sure my head is on your lap. You try to get me to uncurl, to grant you access to my tummy, but my limbs refuse to budge so you settle on rubbing my side and back.

“Aww…baby…maybe a walk would settle your tummy?” Your voice is sickly sweet and I groan as it goes straight to my stomach, feeling like I just guzzled another cola.

“Umph…nuh-uh—nope. Not gunna.” I curl up, my tears soaking into the fabric on your lap as I whimper a little. I try to bring up a burp, desperately trying to relieve some of the pressure in my gut. Nothing comes up. I know there’s some in there—there has to be—but each time I clench my abdomen it feels like there’s something sickly blocking the path of the gas. If I were to really push it I could maybe clear the blockage…but I’d almost definitely end up vomiting all over your lap.

“Babe…how about that walk?” You suggest again and this time I glare at you from your lap. I glare at you and uncurl just a little. You can see the pain lancing through my eyes for a split second. I watch as your gaze travels to my gut and then I jab at it with a hand. I bite back the groan of pain so that you can hear the resulting rumble. The turbulent sounds from the jab continue for a few moments even as I curl up again.

“A walk? You kiddin’ me? My tummy hurts, babe. Hurt doesn’t even begin to cover it. I can’t even stand up straight ‘cuz my tummy is imploding; and you want me to walk?!”

I’m being curt with you. I know I am and I regret it even as the words spill from my mouth. It’s the stomach ache. I haven’t had such a nasty one in a very long time.

3/3 I feel terribly you're not feeling so well, and offer to help you to the car. You lean on me heavily, and I rub your aching belly as we make our way back to the car. I have to help you in, and the seatbelt barely fits over your round tummy. I rub it as we drive home, and carry you into our house where I'll nurse your tummy back to health... or maybe give you more snacks ;)

“Oh, baby…I’m sorry.” You’re genuinely sorry and that makes me feel even worse about snapping at you. I pull a hand out from its position on my tummy, reaching over to brush against your face, to apologize in some way.

A sharp cramp shoots through my unhappy tummy and I let out an exclamation of pain. It felt like I got punched, from the inside. I whimper and close my eyes, breaths labored as I clutch at my tummy again. My stomach convulses violently and you can tell that I’m trying very hard both to vomit and to keep it in me. The struggle exhausts me and it breaks your heart to see it go down.

The fit dies down after a while and I eventually lie still on your lap. My stomach continues to churn within me and you can hear the sickly burbling. You’ve taken to carding a hand through my hair and using your other hand to rub at whatever you can reach—arm, side, back. The shooting cramps die down somewhat and I manage to uncurl. I find your hand and guide it to my stomach and you rub it gently. I’m still biting back grunts with each breath but you can tell that your massage is slowly doing something for my sickly tummy.

“Do you think you can get to the car? I think we’re done here.”

I whimper, shaking my head and guiding your hand back to my tummy. “Not yet. Ugh…please?” I look at you, silently begging for more rubs. “If I get up now I’m gonna hurl.” You continue rubbing my tummy and we continue in our positions for a while.

My stomach is fairly distended. I usually don’t eat much in a single day and you managed to cram a whole lot of stuff I usually wouldn’t touch into me today. Sugar, fried foods, salt, milkshakes. This is stuff I only allow myself to indulge in a couple of times a year…and only one at a time, usually. Like…before meeting you I was the type to see a can of cola as a treat. That was my dessert quota for the day or week. After we got together the occasional scoop of ice-cream became another dessert option—but always only one scoop. This is our first time at the fair as a couple and you really let me have it. You gave me the ‘full’ experience in more ways than one and my tummy is suffering for it.

“Urp…ugh…nachos? When did I eat nachos?” You laugh at my observation, a sign that I’m doing a bit better.

“I think it was between the second burrito and the banana split.” You inform me as I sit up.

“Second? Banana…split?” I’m surprised. I know I was out of it when you were feeding me, too caught up in the agony swirling in my tummy, but I didn’t think I was that out of it. “Wait…when was the pizza?” You laugh at my dumbfounded expression.

“I only gave you a few bites of the banana split ‘cuz I wanted it…and ‘cuz it looked like you were going to be sick at that point. You ate a whole slice of that pizza before the ice-cream.” My stomach burbles as it’s reminded and I put a hand on it.

“I don’t think that qualified as pizza. It feels like it was grease with a side of dough and cheese.” I groan, patting my tummy gently and rubbing up and down slightly. I still feel sick but the crippling ache has subsided…for now.

I take your hand and get up off the bench. You’re up immediately and drag one of my arms over to rest around your shoulders. We stumble our way toward the exit with your hands resting on my waist. My other hand on my belly is more to support the extra weight while yours provide some much-needed rubs. It’s a team effort to get to the car in my state.

You help me into the passenger seat as I moan. The cramps are building in intensity. You fasten my seatbelt and I almost push you off when you put too much pressure leaning over me to get the thing buckled. Now that I am sitting up my belly is really prominently distended. As you back up I immediately recline the seat, giving my belly some much needed room.

“Do not throw up in the car.” You admonish.

“Urgh…urp…ulp…ugh…no promises.” I whimper. You close the door and the impact jostles my belly. I clutch at it with a groan, swallowing back something thick and wet.

It’s a long drive back home. I’m reclined as far as the seat will go. You have one hand on the wheel and the other rubbing absentmindedly over the crest of my tummy when it’s not needed to steer or shift gears or whatever.

A part of you feels horrible for what we have done tonight. While both of us are into tummies, this is the first time we’ve ever done something like this. We’ve done some minor stuffings before. We’ve done other things in the realm of tummy kink before. This is a first where you stuffed me with foods that would normally cause me great distress all on their own and you decided to cram them all into me in the span of six hours.

I’m lost to the pain as we pull up to our place. I’m in the same incoherent state I was in when you fed me all those things I didn’t register. Gently, you unbuckle the seatbelt, guiding it home so that it doesn’t have a chance to upset my belly further. I groan and nearly lose my gorge as you slide your arms under my back and my knees and lift me out of the car with a massive heave.

The vertigo goes right to my tummy and I’m a groaning mess as you whisper reassurances at me. We’re almost home. Don’t throw up on you. Etc.

You set me on the couch. The bedroom is too far a walk and you don’t want to risk dropping me. The extra weight of all that indigestion is more than you anticipated.

I can’t move. My tummy is pinning me down and the threat of vomiting is extreme. I feel like a thermometer or something with the sludge going up and down my esophagus.

You set a bin within reach of me before disappearing to the kitchen. I whimper, wishing I could call out. I need your hands on my belly. I feel so sick.

I hear clattering in the kitchen. The tell-tale signs of something being microwaved. I hope it’s a heat pack or something even if the added pressure of it is sure to make me vomit. You return with a plate of pizza bites and my stomach pulls a move where it feels like it’s trying to drop out of me and run. I can’t move. I’m too full, too sick, and in too much pain. I only hope you have a night of rubs planned and that you’ve got a hair-tie somewhere ‘cuz there is no way this night ends without me throwing up.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Melted Mask

awitchbravestheverge prompt: I don't know if you're still taking prompts but you are a master of hurt/comfort and would sell you my soul for some of that for Janus. Maybe where he's feeling insecure or like he's worn out his welcome post acceptance, or maybe a little touch starved, or both. Preferably with Virgil or Patton as the comforter, but if not thats ok. I just have a never-ending need for fic where people are soft and gentle with the snake boy, and I love everything you write with my whole heart

Thanks for the request, babe!

Read on Ao3

Pairings: DLAMPR, focus on anxceit and moceit, can be platonic or romantic you decide I don’t mind

Warnings: uhhh sympathetic deceit and remus

Word Count: 4804

 “How many masks of your own face are you currently wearing?”

 “At least four.”

Between the gloves, the cape, and the hat, there’s not an awful lot of Janus that is seen most of the time. Not that he particularly minds. There is a certain benefit that layers upon layers of clothing provides. One, they’re perfect for concealing his cane—the others always look so surprised when he summons it from nowhere. Two, he is Dark Side, thanks to Roman’s fantastic naming system. There is an aesthetic standard that must be met. What was he going to do, show up in some ratted old hoodie?

 Three, well—there is an awful lot to look at. If the others are focused on the clasps at his throat, the shock of the yellow gloves, the logo hidden under the black fabric, they’re not looking at him.

 If they were, they’d see his scales.

 He is the only side with a visible animal trait, after all. The scales cover the left side of his face, down beneath his collar. He doesn’t mind the stares—come on, it’s so easy to catch them off guard, how could he?—but sometimes he does wonder if they’ll ever get used to it.

  To him.

 The scales are a reminder. That he’s different. That he’s not like them. He’s not like the others, he doesn’t look like Thomas, at least not to the extent that they do. Thomas doesn’t have golden scales along the side of his face. Thomas doesn’t have a mouth that curves up along his cheek. Thomas doesn’t have a slit-eye pupil. No, no, Thomas is normal.

 How dreadful.

 Then, of course, there are the lies.

 ‘Deceit.’ Such a funny word. And so…polarizing.

 ‘Deceitful,’ ‘dishonest,’ ‘dastardly’—lot of ‘d’s, here, hmm?—all of the words that just mean he’s a liar. And lying must be bad, right? So it follows logically then, because we simply adore logic in this house, that he must be bad.

 He’s not to be trusted, he’s a liar. He’s not honest, he’s a liar. They have to double and triple-check everything he says because he’s a liar.

 They always conveniently seem to forget that you can always trust a dishonest person to be dishonest. It’s the truthful ones you have to watch out for.

 Janus knows he’s a liar. Frankly, he’s quite proud of it. He’s gotten very good at it too; twisting the words together just right in order to tug slightly at a heartstring there, block off just a little rationality there, get the job done. The others always get caught up in his words, too busy focusing on the minutia of it, the details, leaving him free to step around them and speak to Thomas.

 They see the gloves, they see the scales, they see the lies.

 They see the masks.

 Oh, sometimes he’ll put on a little bit more of a show if he needs to make a point, if the normal masks aren’t quite enough to get Thomas to listen. He’ll tie a hoodie around his shoulders, push a pair of glasses up his nose, knot a tie around his neck. Problem is…those ones are a little easier to see through. No matter how hard he tries, all of his disguises end up being a self-portrait.

 Which is how he ended up here.

 “You know the rules,” Patton says, his hands on his hips, “no impersonating others outside of filming!”

 Janus rolls his eyes and idly flicks a speck of dirt off one of his gloves. “Oh, please. You don’t want me to do it during filming either.”

 “No, I don’t, but we made a compromise, kiddo, now we both have to stick to it.”

 Janus raises an eyebrow. “Yes, I’m sure the others will be relieved to hear so.”

 “What have we said about impersonations?”

 He sighs. “The others may be idiots—“

 “Oi!”

 “—but idiots are also deserving of respect,” Janus finishes, glancing at Virgil draped over the back of the couch. “And I would never dream of being anything less than perfectly respectful.”

 Virgil snorts. “What do you even get out of it anyway?” He sits up a little straighter. “Wait, you haven’t been tricking Roman into telling you how to impersonate us better, have you?”

 “Now why would I do that?”

 “Janus!”

 “What? Like you don’t make a habit of going to the others for advice.”

 “There’s a difference between openly asking for it and tricking them into giving it to you.”

 Janus levels a stare at him. “I suppose there is, isn’t there?”

 “Hey!” Patton steps between them. “That’s enough.”

 “Oh, well—“ Janus makes a show of resettling his cape—“if you say so.”

 Patton sighs. “Janus, we are trying, okay? You heard Thomas, you’re…well, you’re more welcome now.”

 “And you’re doing a marvelous job of that.”

 Patton doesn’t quite deflate, but it’s close. “Well, maybe we could all try a little harder.” He gives Janus a pointed look.

 “Yes, I’m sure my efforts will be richly rewarded.”

 “Well, you could start by showing up as yourself more often.”

 “Myself?” Janus gasps theatrically, putting a gloved hand to his scales. “Who’s that?”

 “Dude,” Virgil sniggers—Virgil did always appreciate his sense of humor—“how many masks of your own face are you currently wearing”

 “At least four.”

 Patton lets him go with another verbal slap on the wrist and Virgil flips him off. Janus sinks out, striding down the hallway near his room. It’s quieter here. The walls hum a little less. He can think.

 He hadn’t gone to Roman to gets tips on his acting. He’d gone because Roman doesn’t want to talk to Janus.

 Janus, the liar. Janus, the manipulator. Janus, the Dark Side.

 Janus shuts the door of his room and instinctively slumps, the cape hanging off his shoulders. He knows Patton means well, and Virgil’s…Virgil, but sometimes it stings a little more than it should. Not that the others will ever see it.

 He’ll never forget the look on Thomas’s face when Logan said he was the side that acts with the one priority of self-preservation. Of how it instantly demonized the idea of protecting yourself. Of Thomas keeping himself safe.

 He looks at his hands, sees the gloves. They still don’t fit quite right, even after all these years. He can’t get the seams to run down the sides of the fingers, not curve around to the front or the back. It really shouldn’t be this difficult. Especially considering how much use he’s gotten out of them.

 Lying kept Thomas alive. It kept him safe. He helped keep Thomas safe. When Virgil couldn’t breathe, when Logan faltered, when Patton froze, Janus would quietly make his way over to Roman and whisper a suggestion. Just a suggestion. To lie. To keep Thomas safe. To get them out of here. And it saved them. So many times.

 Janus walks over to the mirror. It’s a fairly modest thing; about the size of a small sink, oval, large enough so he can see himself completely if he takes a few steps back. He ignores his own face and reaches for the golden latch on the side. He turns it.

 The cabinet swings open to reveal a dark velvet interior with several small podiums. Each has a thin mask laid atop it. They gleam in the low light of the room. Janus reaches out and carefully makes sure each is perfectly centered. As he does so, his gloves linger on the fine print beneath the podiums.

 Everyone has masks. Versions of themselves to present to the world when they need to. A mask that keeps you safe, a mask that keeps you alive, a mask that has the courage to speak when you don’t. The mask they wear around their homophobic relatives, the mask they wear when they need to make a phone call, the mask they wear when they need to pretend they’re something they’re not.

 Janus is very, very good at making masks.

 He never wears these. These are for Thomas. When Thomas needs help, Janus slips one of these out of the cabinet and sets it on the desk in front of the mirror. He looks at it, then at the mirror, and works. These masks are what helps Thomas.

 He shuts the cabinet with a decisive click, suddenly confronted with his own face.

Janus is so good at making masks that he doesn’t even need a mask to wear one.

 A mask because you’re the bad guy. A mask because you can never be trusted. A mask because when you try to be vulnerable they won’t listen. A mask because they don’t want you, they want the character that you embody to survive.

 He pities the others sometimes. They don’t have these masks and they hurt. They can’t distance themselves, pull away just a little more, embody a role so that when it’s over, when they’re safe again, they can take it off and breathe. But they don’t. So they just get hurt. Over and over and over.

 Janus’s lips involuntarily curl up into a snarl. The hand on the mirror closes into a fist.

 They’re not supposed to get hurt. That’s not how this is supposed to work.

 He’s not supposed to hurt them.

 Part of him argues that he has to. If he keeps working the way he’s been working he can get right to Thomas, who is who needs the most protection. If he tries to do it their way they risk Thomas getting hurt and Janus won’t have that.

 Part of him whispers that this is good for them. If he can make them a little tougher, help them get thicker skin, they’ll be safer. And then it won’t matter if they hate him. They’ll be safe. That’s all he cares about.

 The rest of him—

 …well, the rest of him is currently the reason he’s having trouble looking in the mirror right now.

 The problem with wearing so many masks is that it becomes harder and harder to figure what’s the mask and what’s not. And he’s gotten so good at making them that now…now he doesn’t have to think about it.

 A mask for when Logan asks to debate about philosophy. A mask for when Remus wants him to help him and Roman make something new. A mask for when Patton wants to bake. A mask for when Virgil comes to him for help.

 A mask for all of them. A mask for none of them.

 Janus doesn’t want to wear the masks all the time. He wants them to be warm, to care, to smile when he comes into the room, or even ask where he is. He wants to laugh as Patton smears batter all over his nose accidentally. He wants to listen to Logan ramble about some new advancement in quantum gravity. He wants Virgil to come plop down next to him while everyone else is in the living room. He wants Remus to stay with him while they watch the others get into ridiculous fights over board games. He wants Roman to not be afraid to come talk to him.

 He wants.

 Janus is selfish.

 But he isn’t stupid.

 He knows they don’t want him. He knows they don’t want him, even without the masks. Deep down, he knows they don’t need him either.

 But Thomas does.

 So here Janus will stay, in the dark, in the cold, wearing too many masks of his own face to keep count.

—————————————————————

The Mindscape is cold. It never quite feels solid. Drafts blow in and out of the walls, through the little gaps in the floor, from places that Janus can’t find, no matter how many times he looks for them. He bundles himself up in his cloak and his hat and does his best to hold still, sink in as much warmth as he can. He sneaks up behind the others, pressing himself up near them, purring in their ears, just to snatch their body heat. They always shove him away with flustered protests and blushy little faces. They’re so adorable.

 Plus, he knows that’s all he’s ever really going to get from them.

 But he’s cold, goddamnit. Why do they keep the air conditioning so high in this house? Snakes are cold-blooded. They get slow. Lethargic. Hypothermic, if it gets very bad.

 Janus can’t afford to be slow.

 So he wears his gloves, his cape, his hat. He stands opposite the window so he can get the most sunlight. He finds the patches of warmth where none of the others will find him and he can curl up for the warmth he needs...

 …and fine, maybe it’s a little more than just being cold.

 The others are…touchy. Patton throws his arm around just about everyone. Bumps his hip against theirs. Pats their shoulders, squeezes their hands, kisses their cheeks. Roman sweeps people into his arms, pulls them in for hugs, keeps an arm around their waists for as long as he’s allowed. Remus can and will just tackle whoever he wants. Logan holds himself a little further away, but even he’ll lay a comforting hand on someone’s arm. Janus will admit he was shocked when Virgil started exhibiting spider characteristics. That Side is a cat and you will not convince him otherwise. And everyone knows if a cat falls asleep on you, you’re not allowed to move until it wakes up.

 Not that Virgil has fallen asleep on him recently.

 Janus is not too proud to admit that at first, he didn’t want their touches. He had a job to do, he didn’t need to be distracted. But now…now he does.

 He sees the way they move around each other and it stings. The accidental brushes he gets from standing too close or when they aren’t thinking about it sear through layers and layers of clothing to burn into his skin. When he stays close to them—close, but not too close—his whole side begins to tingle, reaching for them, their warmth, for them. But now it’s too late. His mask is already firmly in place and they know Deceit hates being touched.

 That’s another reason for the layers. For the gloves.

 Janus knows that if they ever touch him directly, skin to skin, his mask will shatter. And that is too dangerous to risk. With his gloves, his cape, his hat, his masks, the only way that would happen is if one of them tried to touch his face.

 And that is certainly very likely indeed.

 The clothes give him a barrier. A last line of defense. No touch is better than unexpected touch.

 But that doesn’t stop him from being cold.

 He can tell it’s going to happen when he can’t quite close his fingers around the end of his staff in the middle of their conversation. His gloves don’t catch on the wood quite right and he has to fumble to grab it properly. He glances up. No one’s looking at him.

  Are they ever?

 He tucks his hands smoothly out of sight, frantically burrowing them into his cloak to see if they’ll warm up. He locks his knees. No good. His fingers start to hurt as he flexes them. They’re still not moving faster. It’s cold.

 He glances at the clock. Two minutes. He can last two minutes. Or so he thinks, until his jaw starts to clench. He clenches it harder, ignoring the protest from his neck, his shoulders, trying to make it stop. He takes a deep slow breath and tries to relax, to stop his muscles from tensing. It works, barely.

 One minute.

 His hands aren’t responding properly. He can barely move his fingers. He just needs to get out of here. If he gets out of here he can get warm. He has his electric blanket, he has everything he needs. He just needs to leave.

 Thirty seconds.

 The conversation draws to a close and Janus nods deeply, tossing one last barb over his shoulder as he sinks out, only to collapse in the hallway as soon as he does. A draft flows out right next to his shoulder, freezing fingers dancing up his arm, along the back of his neck, diving into his collar to snatch more of his warmth. He curses, heaves himself to his feet, and makes it to his room. It’s so cold.

 Something tugs in his chest. No, no—!

 “I suppose there must be a good reason for summoning me back,” Janus drawls, snapping his gloves right back into place as he appears in the living room.

 Patton and Virgil stare back at him. Patton fidgets with his hands. “W-well, we, uh, I had a question for you.”

 Damn. “Well.” Janus spreads his arms, trying to play off how slow he’s moving for dramatic effect. “I’m here. Ask away.”

 “I, uh, a few days ago you mentioned that you didn’t feel as welcome here.” Patton looks at him with such an expression of sincerity that it makes Janus’s tongue itch. “And I wanted to know what I could do to help.”

 “Aren’t you sweet?”

 Patton won’t be deterred, it seems. He stares at Janus, resolute as ever. It’s so cold in here he’s going to start slurring in a moment.

 “Janus?”

 “That is my name, yes.”

 “Are you…are you feeling alright?”

 Janus gestures to himself, movements growing slower by the second. “I’m right here, aren’t I?”

 Slow. Too slow.

 Patton frowns. He gives him a look. “You don’t seem like you normally are, are you sure?”

 “I am entirely in one piece.”

 “That doesn’t answer my question.”

 “Honey, if you’re looking for a straight answer, I’m afraid you’re looking in the wrong place.”

 Virgil moves. Right, Virgil was here too. Janus is slow. Too slow. He can’t move. He can’t get away. His mask forms a bored expression on his face, quirking an eyebrow. Virgil approaches him and holds out a hand. A cold part of Janus’s chest leaps.

 The lips of the mask part. “And what exactly do you intend to do with that?”

 “This,” Virgil mutters, and cups the side of Janus’s face.

 Everything stops.

 Distantly, he feels Virgil’s hand leave his face. Hears something about being too cold. Sees a blur of blue rush away. But all he can focus on is—

  Warm. Virgil touched you. Warm. Warm. So warm. Keep the mask on. Don’t let the mask slip. Warm. If the mask slips everything will be ruined. Warm. Don’t you remember how to take the mask off? Virgil. Patton. Warm.

 “Janus? Janus!”

 Janus blinks. Virgil is still standing in front of him. There’s a little wrinkle between his brows. The mask is frozen in place, iced into a neutral expression.

 “Hey,” Virgil says quietly, “you’re freezing, bud. You gotta get warm.”

 Janus can’t speak. The mask is so cold.

 “You remember what happens when you get too cold,” Virgil continues, taking a step closer. Janus can’t move. Virgil’s frown deepens and he tilts his head. “What’s going on, Janus, you don’t normally let it get this bad.”

  Yes, Virgil, we’re aware.

 “You could’ve asked, dude,” Virgil says, taking another step closer, a little exasperation mingling with the concern, “any of us.”

 The mask smirks. Barely. “Yes, because I’m sure everyone would be so willing to cuddle me so I could steal their body heat.”

 “You don’t know that.” The mask doesn’t move. Virgil glances over his shoulder. When he speaks next, his voice is lowered to a whisper.

 “You don’t have to keep that on right now, Jan,” he says quietly, “it’s okay. It’s just me. I know you. You can…you know. Emote and stuff.”

 Janus huffs a laugh. It’s weak. 

 “You ever wear a mask so long you forget how to take it off?”

 Vigil pauses. “Huh?”

 “Ever pretended to be something for so long you forget which is real and which isn’t?” Janus’s smile turns sad. “Made yourself believe it too?”

 Virgil’s eyes close for a second. When he opens them, the concern in his gaze takes the last of the warm breath from Janus’s lungs. “Does this have anything to do with…?” He waves in Janus’s direction.

 Janus nods, slowly, so slowly. “I can’t. Because I’ve been…I’ve been trained out of it. I built my masks to hide behind. And now I can’t take them off.”

 “And we haven’t been good about helping you do that, huh.” He sounds so tired. He’s been through so much…

 “I’m…”

 The mask won’t let him apologize.

  Like they would ever accept it.

 “No, no,” Virgil says, “don’t apologize. You aren’t to blame for what you’ve been put through.”

  Oh, Virgil…

 Virgil glances over his shoulder. Then he shakes his head. “Just…look, go.”

 “What?”

 “I know this isn’t the time to talk about stuff. You’re not in any sort of shape to do that and Patton will understand. Go get warm.” He gives Janus a pointed look. “You take care of yourself first, okay?”

 He tries. He goes back to his room and buries himself in blankets, in pillows, in more layers than he can stand. The pressure is good but it’s still so cold. The weight of the electric blanket is nothing compared to the warmth of Virgil’s hand. Everything in here smells sterile, clinical, detached. It’s all so cold.

  You take care of yourself.

 The last sentence rings through his head late at night. He wants. But everyone’s probably asleep by now, and god knows they need to sleep. Surely it’ll be alright if he just goes to the living room? That’s not too far, right?

 There’s a fire going in the fireplace—since when did they have a fireplace? And there’s someone sitting on the couch. Hmm. Maybe if…if he’s quiet, if he doesn’t make too much noise, he can slip in and soak up some of the warmth. 

 Virgil turns around.

 “Hey, Janus,” he murmurs, standing, and comes over to him. “Can’t sleep?”

 Janus shakes his head. It’s warm in here, but he’s still cold. Virgil can see that, apparently.

 “Here,” he says, handing him a cup of tea that appeared out of thin air, “drink. It’ll warm you up.”

 Janus takes it cautiously. Isn’t it Virgil’s? There’s no way Virgil would’ve know Janus was coming…right?

 “This is my third one, figure I should let you catch up first.”

 He gestures to the couch, an encouraging smile on his lips.

 “Sit. C’mon”

 Janus does, sinking into the plush couch and cradling the warm mug in his hands. The couch groans as Virgil sits next to him. He can feel Virgil just out of reach, just there…

 “I like watching the fire,” comes a low voice from next to him as he sips the tea. “Helps me think. Or stop thinking.”

 He keeps talking in that low voice and the warm tea flows through Janus, sapping the cold slowly away from his body.

 Distantly, he feels someone steering him down onto the couch, and heavy arms around him.

 “Or maybe you just need a cuddle. Go to sleep, Janus.”

—————————————————————

 “ — stop twitching, Remus! You’ll make a mistake!”

 “Stop tugging his arm all over the place and then you won’t.”

 “Will you two pipe the fuck down? You’re gonna wake him up.”

 “Says the loudmouth!”

 “Roman, stop it.”

 “Stop moving his arm!”

 What is…? He’s lying on something. It’s warm, really warm. It smells like…coffee, makeup, and…cinnamon? He shifts slightly, and oh he slept on his neck wrong. A low groan escapes his throat.

 His pillow stiffens. “Shit. He’s awake.”

 “Good going, Remus.”

 “You were the one yelling!”

 “Shut the fuck up, both of you.” The chest underneath him vibrates. “Shh, snake-face, go back to sleep. You’re alright. Go back to sleep.”

 Janus shifts again, trying to look around, but he’s held down by another strong arm. A hand cards itself through his hair—where’s his hat? “Shh, be still, buddy, you’re okay. Can’t we get you back to sleep?”

 “What…’s going on?” His tongue feels heavy, swelling up in his mouth.

 “I believe the chances of getting him back to sleep will increase if you tell him what you’re doing.”

 It’s…Logan? He appears, fuzzy but definitely there, over the back of the couch. Janus tries to turn to make it easier to see him but his right arm is pinned and he can’t move—

 “Easy, J, easy, shh, shh, you’re okay, you’re safe, just keep your arm nice and still, okay?” Virgil, it’s Virgil he’s lying on, runs his hand through his hair again. “I’m pretty sure Roman would pitch a fit.”

 “Hah.” Roman snorts from somewhere close to the ground. “If this got ruined, yours would be too.”

 “If you hadn’t insisted on going last,” Remus says, “this wouldn’t’ve been an issue.”

 And then he feels it. Something is drawn sharply across his right wrist.

 “Shh, shh, Janus, breathe, breathe, you’re okay, damnit, Princey, stop! You’re making him freak out!”

 It’s gone, the contact is gone. His arm is still hanging over the edge of the couch but it’s held there by Virgil’s arm and another hand.

 “Hey there, Snakey.” Remus appears over Virgil’s shoulder. “You’re okay. We’re just making sure you’re okay.”

 Roman snorts. “There’s something wrong with how you phrased that.”

 Then suddenly Patton appears out of nowhere and doesn’t surprise him at all. Luckily, or unluckily, Janus is far too exhausted and disoriented to react more than rucking up the fabric of Virgil’s hoodie a little. Patton looks at the couch.

 “There isn’t room, Pop-star,” Virgil says, lazily stretching so his bulk takes up all of it, moving slow enough so Janus isn’t jostled too much. Then Virgil yelps and their lower bodies are lifted and he can feel the couch sag under another body.

 “What the hell, Pat.”

 “Now there’s room.” Patton reaches up and ruffles Virgil’s hair.

 There are so many people and it’s warm but why are they all here? Did he miss something? Does he need to leave?

 “Looks good,” Patton says, interrupting his train of thought, “it’s coming along well.”

 Logan clears his throat. “Would someone like to inform Janus about what exactly ‘this’ is?”

 “Oh, right, sorry, Snakey,” Remus says, crouching back down, “let’s show you.”

 Virgil turns over slowly, lifting his arm and using the leverage to shift Janus onto his chest. “Jeez, Janus, you’re light. Patton, have we been feeding him enough?”

 “I suspect there’s been a lack of communication, kiddo.”

 “Now is not the time to yell at him, Patton,” Logan says quietly.

 “I’m not yelling! But yes, now is not the time.”

 Virgil coaxes his head to one side, and Roman lifts his arm by the back of his hand.

 Janus’s mouth drops open.

 There are little animals drawn on his right arm, from his wrist to his elbow. There’s a navy cat, simple and clean, near the vein. A light blue frog with little glasses. A purple and black spider. A green octopus with large black tentacles. And an unfinished red dragon right near his wrist.

 “If I could finish,” Roman asks softly.

 “Alright, calm down, here.” Remus lowers his arm and holds it steady. Roman puts the brush back to his arm and starts painting again. Virgil and Remus start arguing about something, probably, but he can’t focus on anything besides the soft bristles of the brush on his arm, the rumble of Virgil’s chest, and the warmth of the weight on his legs.

 Logan stands behind his head. “You don’t need to wear a mask here, Janus,” he says softly, “not unless you want to.”

 No one else hears him except for Patton. He gives Janus’s leg a squeeze.

 It’s warm. It’s so warm.

 He wants to watch as Roman paints the dragon but he’s tired but he doesn’t want to sleep yet…not just yet.

 Patton reaches towards his face. His finger lands on his forehead and drags gently down the bridge of his nose.

 What…?

 Oh.

 As he follows his touch, Janus’s eyes drift closed.

 It’s so warm.

 And a warm hand on his cheek wipes the last of the mask away.

General Taglist: @frxgprince @potereregina @reddstardust @gattonero17 @iamhereforthegayshit @thefingergunsgirl @awkwardandanxiousfander @creative-lampd-liberties @djpurple3 @winterswrandomness @sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes @iminyourfandom @bullet-tothefeels @full-of-roman-angst-trash @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind @demoniccheese83 @pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious  @firefinch-ember @fandomssaremysoul @im-an-anxious-wreck @crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch @enby-ralsei @unicornssunflowersandstuff @wildhorsewolf @thefingergunsgirl @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams @such-a-dumbass

If you would like to be added/taken off the taglist please let me know ^_^

[animeyanderelover]

Maybe Prompt 102 or 68 for either Shuu or Subaru from Diabolik Lovers? I’ll let you choose! Haven’t seen much from this fandom

Honey, why do you do this to me? You let me choose for a fandom I’m beyond write-starved? And then my two favorite boys? You’re so cruel😢. Darling is female in here.

Warnings: Yandere themes, kidnapping, biting, blood sucking, degrading, humiliating, suicidal thinking

Prompt 68: “You’re all I think about. I always think about holding you, kissing you, touching you, making love to you, breeding you...”

All you had done was leaving him for a short moment, you were sure not even a minute, to get a bit of space from him. That was all. Shu hadn’t really let you leave his side that much since the day he had taken you with him to the mansion he and his brothers lived in. A castle full of vampires. In his eyes you were a small kitten who needed to be taken care of. It wasn’t very nice to be compared to a clumsy little cat and you had often complained about his way of treating you. And the only thing that guy had done was telling you in his apathetic voice if you could perhaps lower the volume of your voice a bit. In school Shu had always seemed like just one of those lazy guys who were too unmotivated for anything. But oh boy, you had been wrong. Shuu had just hidden his true colors so you wouldn’t get suspicious. Never in your life you had expected him to be a vampire, not even to mention that he was a unbelievable dirty talker, a talented one as well. That and the fact that he was damn attractive didn’t make living with him very easy. He constantly called you lewd or dirty and often you had the feeling that he didn’t even love you. You were just another bloodbag, just like Yui was. Yui was pretty much the only person you were allowed to spend time with and you had the feeling that it was for you and Yui unbelievably relaxing to have each other, in an aspect a reassurance to have each other’s back.

But you had also quickly learned that a few of his brothers were harder to deal with than others. Subaru, despite being the one who had looked the most aggressive to you at the beginning, had a soft side which was why you had labeled him as the most harmless one. Shu wasn’t all that bad either. Sure, he had kidnapped you, drank your blood and had some sadistic tendencies, but he was easier to deal with. But the rest of the brothers, Reiji, Ayato, Kanato and Laito...You couldn’t say the same about them. Whenever you were with one of his brothers Shuu always seemed a bit more tensed up, obviously not focusing quite as much on the music as he normally did. No, he always kept an eye on you. Because all of his brothers were after the red liquid flowing threw your veins. And since you were somewhat important to Shu the need to suck your blood was even more important for them. They wanted to piss him off. They might have been all related by blood since all shared the same father, but they for sure didn’t act like it. Each one of them had his own egotistical and selfish reasons and you were seriously impressed that they hadn’t gone on each other’s throat yet.

“Well, hi there Bitch-chan~ I thought that Shu would keep his pet more on the short leash, especially since knowing that she likes wandering off.” The moment you had heard Laito’s voice and had turned around only to be met with the triplets you had felt dread pooling in your stomach. Just great. The terror trio. ��She isn’t his pet! She’s yours truly! And it pisses me seriously off that he keeps hiding her away from me!” Ayato, that possessive asshole. But the one you feared most was Kanato. The memory of him showing you all his dolls and asking you if you wanted to be one as well was still present on your mind. Kanato was a trigger happy vampire, a wild card with which you needed to be careful with. You stepped scared back, knowing too well from the way all three of them were staring at you what they wanted. “Aww~Is our little bitch here scared?”, Laito cooed in a sickenly sweet tone and an expression on his face that made you feel ill. For a short second you thought about turning around and making a run for it. But you never got the chance because in less than the blink of an eye, Ayato was suddenly behind you and grabbing you by your waist. You squealed surprised, instantly trying to get out of his grip. “Stop defying Yours Truly!”, Ayato angrily replied, tightening his grip to the extent that you were sure he would break your waist whilst pulling with his free hand your shirt done to expose your collarbone. An angry sneer left his lips when he saw the fresh bite marks from Shuu. “Fufu~Looks like someone had already his fun. Bitch-chan, don’t you think it’s fair if we get to have a little trait too? After all it’s unfair not to share.”

“Damn it!” Shu wasn’t someone who panicked very easily, but he would have lied if he would have said he hadn’t lost a bit of his cool now. He had closed his eyes for how long, a few moments? And not even that rest was given to him. He really couldn’t let you out of his gaze for even the shortest of moments. That’s why he had taken you in the first place. You really reminded him of a freshly born kitten. Always straying away without having any idea where you went, you possessed the same cat-like curiosity. And you had managed once again to stray off and as much as Shu hated admitting it, it wasn’t even fully your fault. He should have forced you to lay down with him, should have kept you trapped in your arms, should have kept an eye on you! But he hadn’t and now you had wandered off. He had instantly searched for Yui, hoping that you might be with her. But the moment he had seen her alone, a nauseous feeling had started bubbling up in his core. If you weren’t with her that meant you were somewhere else. And that also meant you were completely vulnerable for his brothers who had been a pain in his neck since the day he had brought you in this mansion. They had all been after you, wanting your blood whilst also wanting to provoke him. Because as much as he had tried to hide it, for his brothers it had been easy to figure out how precious you were to him. You probably didn’t know, but they did very well.

He had interrupted Reiji’s study session in hopes to find you, he had interrupted Subaru’s sleep in order to find you, but you hadn’t been there. And he hadn’t found out the triplets in their rooms. And that had only increased the nauseous feeling in his tummy, making him imagine the worst. He prayed dearly that he wasn’t right with his suspicion, hoping to not find all three sucking you dry. But the moment he had heard your small and painfilled whimpering and had instantly teleported to the room where the noises were coming from and had slammed the door open, was the moment he felt his non beating heart dropping. Ayato, with one hand still holding your waist was biting you harshly in your collar bone whilst Kanato was latching on the other side of your neck. Laito was gripping your leg, choosing to let his teeth sink into your thigh. Upon noticing Shu, who was standing frozen there, he pulled smirking away, licking the blood, your blood, on his lips away. “Now look who’s here! (y/n), your knight in shining armor has arrived!” He sounded thrilled, cheerful, completely ignoring the fact that you hadn’t even heard him. That was currently the most worrisome thing to Shu. Your condition. He himself tended to suck from time to time a bit too much blood than actually needed, but as long as he wasn’t angered or jealous he never took too much blood from you. But his brothers weren’t him and from the look in their eyes he knew that by putting you into this condition they had wanted to strike his nerves, not to mention that all of them had wanted your blood the moment they had known from your existence, another bloodbag always being welcome in their lifes.

“Her blood is so sweet. Shu should share her more with us, don’t you agree Teddy?” They were all coldly ignoring the fact that you seemed to slip in and out of consciousness, the only reason you haven’t lost balance yet was merely because because of Ayato’s hold on your waist. The three fresh new bite marks littering your skin would be a nasty reminder for him for quite some time. But he could worry about that later, right now he had to get you out of here. “Get away from her.” His voice sounded slightly strained, a sign that the sight of you being terribly pale and keep losing consciousness obviously triggered something inside of him. And his brothers noticed that too. “Is our Shu here worried for his kitten?”, Laito teased whilst trailing his fingers teasingly up and down your thigh. “You should have heard the wonderful noises she made whilst we were sucking her blood. I really wonder what other noises she can make whilst I’ll-!!” He didn’t even got to finish that sentence, Shu pulling him with an incredible force away from you, tossing him away like he was some sort of trash bag. Ayato was next, Shu ripping his arm away from your waist and pushing him away, catching you quickly before you could hit the ground. Seeing you now close-up was even worse. There was still a bit of blood tickling down the three bite marks which had already started to turn blue and purple. Your skin had turned sweaty and the warmth which normally always seeped at him whenever he was touching you wasn’t there anymore. Instead you felt so cold. Your breathing was shallow and rapid and he felt your heart hammering against your chest, too fast to be considered healthy and normal. That and the fact that you had by now completely closed your eyes threw him in a frantic panic mode. This wasn’t good. He angrily picked you up, glaring slightly at his brothers who were looking slightly shocked at him. “If I’ll ever see you touching her again, I’ll make sure that you won’t get away without losing a few limbs.”

You had the feeling that your mind was clouded by a thick layer of fog, everything looking and feeling blurry. It wasn’t only your sense of seeing, but it were all your senses. The moment you had opened your eyes, you hadn’t been able to make out where you were, your mind not being able to form a sharp picture of your surroundings. You were only able to make out a mix of colors. When you tried moving you instantly fell back, your body not possessing the energy to get you to move, not to mention that there was something holding you down. And then you heard it, a voice calling something. But you couldn’t make out what exactly it was. You almost had the feeling that someone was shouting something at you from behind a wall. Who was even calling you? And why? You felt tempted to just close your eyes once again, for some reason feeling completely drained out of energy. But the moment you closed your eyes the voice suddenly got louder and suddenly you were shaken. A small noise of discomfort and protests escaped your lips, but you still opened your eyes once again. You felt still lightheaded, but the shaking seemed to wake all your senses up a bit more, the colors in front of you becoming sharper and forming lines, not to mention that the voice became more clear, sounding very close to you. It sounded so familiar...Who’s voice was it?

“(y/n).” The moment you heard your name being called was the moment it all hit you, how those three devils had shamelessly fed on your blood. And Shu...If you remembered right he had saved you. Your body still felt pretty worn out, not having enough energy to move too much, but you still managed to turn your body around a bit, being met with his blue eyes. “You’re awake. How are you feeling?” His voice sounded a bit different you noticed. Normally he always sounded indifferent, but the tone of his voice seemed to be a bit softer than normally. Not only that, but if you weren’t completely crazy you could swear that there was a spark of worry in his blue eyes. “I’m tired.” That was all you managed to mumble out, still feeling too exhausted. Now you also knew where you were, in his room, laying in his bed with him right next to you. How long had you been unconscious? But what did it matter anyways? It wasn’t like it would make much of a difference. Or prevent it from happening again. It would. Again and again and again. Because that was what you and Yui were for those guys. You were nothing more than bloodbags for them to use and abuse. And you didn’t want to end like all those brides in Kanato’s chamber. You didn’t want to die out of bloodlust. You refused to! Yui and you deserved better! You would rather cut your wrists and bleed out on your own instead of getting killed by one of them. That was a theme you and Yui had often discussed. Suicide.

Shu noticed the way you started shaking, breath starting to speed up and how your face puckered into a bitter mask. “(y/n)? What’s wrong?” He sounded genuinely worried, but it didn’t help you. He wasn’t any better! He wasn’t better than all of those other bastards! The only reason he had saved you was because you were his personal bloodbag! That was all! And with a sudden jolt you sat up, almost instantly falling back! The shift of height instantly made you dizzy which was also to blame on all the bloodlust. You wanted to get out of this bed. Out of this house. Out of this world. Your body protested when you freed yourself out of the blankets Shuu had wrapped you inside, falling straight out of the bed and meeting the cold ground with your face. “(y/n)! What are you doing? You’re still too weak! You just harm your health even more like this! Just let me-“ “Do me the favor and stop pretending like you care.” Your voice was dripping with a bitter and salty venom you didn’t know you possessed. “What?” You picked the slight confusion in his voice out. You slowly sat up, biting the insides of your cheeks to prevent yourself from groaning in pain, not having much energy to move, but you still did, staring him with a mix of frustration and anger in his almost indifferent ones. But there was still this spark inside of them.

“I said cut the crap out and act like you care. I’m just here for your personal amusement. Nothing more. So why pretending to be worried about me?” You pulled furiously your top a bit down, revealing the bite marks and all the scars you had from all the times someone had stepped into your personal bubble to do whatever he liked with you. “That’s all I’m here for. I’m just a bloodbag, someone you can feed from. So stop acting like you’re genuinely worried about me. Why don’t you just do me the favor and suck me dry so I do have to endure all of this hell anymore? It can’t be that hard to find someone else who’s blood you find delicious. I’m replaceable. You’ll get rid of me as soon as you’re boring of me.” You didn’t have the energy to scream, but your low and hateful tone made up for it. You didn’t know how Shuu would react, but at this point you didn’t care anymore. “You think I’m a lost kitten that needs your stupid protection? You think I’m weak? You’re right. I am. But I’d rather die as a weak human who at least tried to fight instead of getting killed by one of yours.” Shu wasn’t impressed, or if he was he didn’t show it. “In fact, I think the next time I’ll get the chance I’ll use it to finish all of this. I’d rather die by knowing that I was the one who did it instead by getting killed by you and your brothers. You can search for a new songbird then. It isn’t like you would mind if I die. You never cared how I felt in the first place so shouldn’t leave a huge impact on you. I just want...peace.”

You slumped down the moment you finished your last word, your voice having gone quieter and quieter until it was only a whisper. You just layed on the dirty floor, your shoulders still fully exposed and showing everyone what you had gone through since arriving in here. You didn’t even look into Shu’s eyes, not caring anymore. Would he kill you now? You guessed at the end you wouldn’t care. You just hoped that Yui wouldn’t be too sad. Shu didn’t say anything, just standing in front of you. By now you felt like you would fall asleep on the cold and hard ground, but given your tiredness you guessed you wouldn’t mind too much. Your eyes slowly closed themselves, feeling unbelievably heavy. And that’s when you felt Shu slipping his arms under your weakened form and lifting you gently up. You hummed confused, forcing your eyes to open once again and looking confused at him. He was looking right back at you, his face displaying something you had never seen on his face before. What was that? It...looked warm and nice somehow, but you weren’t stupid enough to fall for this. The blonde vampire didn’t say anything, just placing you back on the mattress and once again wrapping yourself up in the blankets. What was he up to? Your eyes followed his form suspiciously when he just layed down again next to you, moving closest to you until he was so close that you could feel his breath hitting your cheek.

“(y/n). My little songbird.” Okay, something was definitely wrong! Shu had never sounded so...so...In some sense it reminded you a bit of Laito, but at the same time not. Whilst Laito’s honeyed words were sickening because they were fake, with Shu it was now the opposite. His words made you tense up because you felt like the adoration with which they had been spoken were real. And it had been too much of it. That was as what made you tense up so extremely. “You’re all I think about. I always think about holding you, kissing you, touching you, making love to you, breeding you...” His words were still spoken with the same sweetness as before, sending chills down your spine. W-what the?! His face was by now too close for your taste, but it was hard moving away when one of his arms had already wrapped itself around your waist whilst the other one suddenly started caressing your face. But the thing that freaked you out the most was the look on his face. The apathetic expression, gone. Instead it was replaced by something you couldn’t really describe. But you knew that the intensity in his stare was making you uncomfortable. Not only that, but his words had been terrifying as well. He had said it like he had meant it.

“You’re not thinking straight right now. You’re just upset from earlier and you also are still a bit irritated because of all of the blood loss.You think I’ll let you escape me? You think I’ll let anyone touch you the wrong way?” He chuckled amused, starting to play with a few strands of your hair. “You think I’ll let one of my brothers suck you out? I’ll rip their heads off if they try. You think I’ll be so careless to lose track of you so that you can try to free yourself by killing yourself? Something like today will never happen again. I’ll stop you whenever you try to. You won’t escape me. You can’t hide from me. I’ll always find you and I’ll always prevent you from hurting yourself.” You couldn’t remember a time before where Shu had ever sounded so infatuated and it scared you a bit. Actually it scared you a lot. “Just rest a bit, sleep for a bit longer and get some much needed recovery time, alright?” His words were almost too sweet to resist and you were completely exhausted anyways, the fact that your current position was comfortable and it was very warm only added up to it. So you just let yourself sink into the plushyness of the mattress, letting him pull you closer and engulf you completely with his warmth. “Don’t worry, I’ll be here when you wake up. I won’t leave you ever again. Never.” The last thing you realized before drifting off to sleep was that Shu pressed his lips softly against your forehead.

[griavian]

the 36 questions that lead to love

x <- read on ao3

dream finds a list of questions that can supposedly lead to two people falling in love, so him and george try it out on stream. turns out, they don't really need all 36.

“Come on, George. It’s just a couple of questions.” Dream pleaded into the call, making George roll his eyes. He’s been trying to end stream for the past 15 minutes, but Dream always convinces him to go “just a little longer!”.

“36 questions is not just a couple of questions, Dream.” George glances at his second monitor to make sure his green screen was still black and to check a few discord messages. He had no intention to fall into Dream’s trap for another hour of streaming.

“But it says it’ll lead to love!” Dream says, exasperated. He googled ‘questions to ask your friend’ earlier and found a list of them that apparently lead to falling in love. To George, it was bullshit.

“That’s such bullshit.” He expresses.

“You’re no fun.” Dream’s voice lowered, and George can feel the pout Dream has plastered on his face. He can already predict what the next 12 hours would be like with Dream: silent treatment and being a general dickhead. George was used to it when they lived an ocean apart, and even found it amusing, but it was a totally different experience living with him. Dream would mope around, go into George’s room randomly just to not talk to him, and go as far as to blast sad music from his own room across the hall while George was trying to finish up some editing. Sure, it was all light-hearted jokes, and Dream would stop his act in a heartbeat if George was truly annoyed by it, but George still dreaded it.

“Fine.”

Dream immediately cheers up and starts typing on his keyboard while George watches his chat fly by, seeing a lot of emotes and positive messages.

“Okay, um- first question. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom,” Dream mocks the formality, “would you want as a dinner guest?”

George’s nose crinkles. “How is that gonna make me fall in love with you?”

“Just answer the question.”

“I don’t know! The queen?”

“That’s a stupid answer.”

“What!” George screeches and Dream barks out a laugh. “You’re so dumb.”

“You gotta give me a better answer than that, or else we won’t fall in love with each other.”

George rolls his eyes, but decides to think about his answer. Truthfully, he wouldn’t want anyone special as a dinner guest. “Um. My mum.”

George eyes his chat as it’s filled with “aw”s. He almost scoffs.

“See? That wasn’t so hard.” George wants to punt Dream into another universe.

“Alright, who would you want as a guest?”

“Tom Brady.”

“That’s the stupidest answer ever!” George yells, his eyes wide, perhaps offended that Dream picked Tom Brady out of anyone else in the world.

“Question two!” Dream ignores, “This one is kinda dumb, but would you like to be famous and if you do, what for?”

George hums. “Probably don’t want to be famous-famous. Maybe being well-known for being the first person to invent IRL-VR. I want my body to be submerged in the Minecraft universe.”

“That’s sick. I dunno what I’d want-”

“You’re already famous.”

“Shut up. I don’t even- I don’t even want to be famous, really. I just want to make whoever knows me smile.”

“Aww, isn’t that sweet, Dream.” George teases and he knows Dream waved him off. George has his habits practically memorized.

“Whatever. How about you ask some questions?” Dream sends a link on discord and George reads through them.

“There’s no way these can make people fall in love. What even is this question? Before making a telephone call, do you rehearse what you’re going to say and why?”

“Trust the process. I mean, I do that. I don’t want my brain all jumbled up, I guess. Words are hard.” Dream answers.

“I don’t think I’ve ever done that. I wing it.”

“That’s very you. Next question.” Something about Dream saying that made George smile the tiniest bit, made the serotonin flow through his brain.

“What’s a ‘perfect day’ for you?” George reads. It’s quiet for a moment.

“Hanging out with you,” his voice is sincere, “You and Sapnap. Recording, streaming, anything like that. What about you?”

“Hm. Me too.”

George isn’t one to show his feelings often. He remembers being asked if he did, and he answered with “not ones that matter”. It still rings true to this day. His walls are still built up and that’s okay to George. Mushy feelings aren’t important, but he’d be damned if he didn’t say his heartstrings were playing a beautiful melody during this moment.

The questions and answers fall easily after that. George knows it’s around 1 am, and he should go to sleep, but answering the questions was kind of addicting.

“Do you have a hunch on how you’ll die?” Dream reads the question with a chuckle. “That’s such a weird question to ask someone you wanna fall in love with.”

George tries not to read in between the lines.

“Heart failure. For both of us.”

“You know how I’ll die?”

“We’re Minecraft streamers, Dream. We’ll probably die at 40.” They share jokes and giggles of scenarios where they die and what they’d do, and something about it feels a bit too honest.

“I’ll die the day you die, George. Emotionally and physically.” Dream says, dramatic as ever. George only huffs, and they leave it there.

“Name three things you and your partner have in common. Dream, do you have a secret girlfriend?” They start to bicker back and forth, because of course they do.

“It doesn’t mean romantic partner, you dumbass. Like- it’s like a science partner,” Dream sighs, “Well, we do have a lot in common. We have the same job, we care about the same things, and we love each other! Easy.” Dream answers.

“Who said I loved you?”

“You literally did last night.” George had closed chat a while ago, already prepared for what was to come. He can only imagine what they’re saying.

“They’ll never believe you.” George says with a sadistic grin.

“Ugh. Okay, what are you grateful for in life? You have to answer this.” George can hear Dream get a little closer to his mic, almost anticipating George’s answer. Dream knows how much he doesn’t like to express any feelings, and probably expects him to skip the question overall. George prevails.

“You. Obviously,” and before Dream can get out an aww, George says, “You made my career, dummy, and I’m grateful for that. And my friends, family, all the normal things. Chat! I’m even grateful for chat.”

“Well, I’m incredibly grateful for you especially.” Dream’s voice is soft, almost loving. George rolls his eyes. He could’ve guessed Dream’s answer, but it weirdly hurts him when it was spoken aloud. He doesn’t know whether it hurts because it might be a fun little joke or if it’s because someone might care about him that much. George decides to stop thinking.

They answer more questions, from taking four minutes to tell each other their life stories (“There was no reason to add that detail; you’re so gross, Dream.”) to what significant quality they would want to wake up and suddenly have (“You’re already good at code shit, George. That’s the saddest answer ever.”). They move onto section two of the list, which are deeper questions.

“Is there something you’ve dreamed of doing but haven’t yet, and why haven’t you?” George asks. He knows about Dream’s unfinished projects. There’s probably a million answers to the question, and George would listen to every single one.

“Uh, well. You know I was writing a book, yeah? I was halfway done with it, and I can’t make myself finish it. It’s probably writer’s block, but I don’t think I’ll be able to do it.” George frowned.

“You can’t finish it with that attitude, silly. You’re annoyingly amazing at everything.” George says with a snort, “I don’t have an answer to this. What did you say that one time? Your future is my future? Well, your dreams are my dreams, then.”

George cringes a little at what he said. He doesn’t know his viewer count, but knows that at least a million people will watch that clip out of context. Dream doesn’t say anything back and moves on to the next question.

“What is your most treasured memory?” Dream asks, and George immediately laughs.

“I definitely know your’s.”

“Do tell, George.”

“Our first Christmas together. Sapnap insisted on getting a real Christmas tree, and when we started decorating the stupid thing, Sapnap sees a spider and screeches. Then, our neighbors come knocking on the front door and you had to explain to them that nobody was being murdered, it was just your roommate being a big baby. And as if it could get any worse, I got tree-sap all on my fingers and clothes and you couldn’t help me because you were laughing too hard.”

“Pretty sure I almost choked on my own spit.” Dream adds, and George scoffs. “But no, that’s not my treasured memory.”

George sputters. “What? You’re telling me I told that to thousands of people for nothing?”

“To be fair, you were all soft on Christmas morning, so our first Christmas might be your treasured memory. Anyways, remember the first time you helped me with a code?” George stays silent, giving Dream the answer. “Well, that was the first time we had a real conversation. I made you laugh, then I started to laugh because you laughed, and we didn’t get the code done. It sounds dumb, but I always smile whenever I think about it.”

George’s face falters a bit. God, he just wants to hug Dream; he wants to make a beeline for his room and attack him with affection and make sure he knows that George loves him, platonically or romantically, George wants him to know.

He just can’t express it with words.

“That… sweet.” George’s eyes travel down the following questions and panics, seeing how personal the questions are. He fakes a yawn. “As mushy and stupid this thing is, I’m really tired.”

Dream doesn’t say anything. It almost scares George, but he deafens on Discord and bids farewell to his viewers, who were completely freaking out. George doesn’t blame them. He’s abruptly leaving after a sweet moment? That’s a recipe for disaster, and George knows better. Yet, he clicks the end stream button.

The door to his office swings open instantly and startles George. It was Sapnap, someone he didn’t particularly want to see.

“What the fuck was that?” His roommate whisper-yells.

George groans and slides deeper into his chair, covering his face. “I don’t know,” he muffles.

“Are you even trying to hide your feelings at this point?” He can hear Sapnap close the door and flop on his office’s couch. “You might as well buy a billboard that says ‘I’m in love with my best friend! His name is Clay!’ with a big ass picture of your dumb face beside it.”

“I know,” George whines. “Do you think he knows?”

“He’s not the one I’m worried about knowing. I’ve told you a million goddamn times that he’s too whipped to notice. I’m worried about the fans. They’re gonna go fucking bonkers because of this stream. Clips are gonna be shared. People are gonna speculate.”

George uncovers his face and narrows his eyes at his friend. “Thanks for the reassurance,” he deadpans.

Sapnap rolls his eyes. “I’m being serious, dude. I know you’re very deeply in love with him in the gayest of ways, but you gotta be careful in front of the fans.”

“Oh my God. I know, Sapnap! I know. I forgot we were even streaming. It felt like it was just the two of us, and I got too comfortable. And it was so nice. I can’t even do anything about it now, so it doesn’t even matter.”

Sapnap sighs and pulls himself from the couch. “You need to talk to him before this gets out of hand. You know I love ya, and that I’m here for you.” George cringes out of habit, but nods. It reads as ‘I love you too, I guess’.

Sapnap leaves without another word, and George is left alone with his thoughts. It’s not long before he sluggishly makes his way back to his bedroom. He opens the closed door, enters, and shuts it. He turns around, only to be greeted by a familiar person in his bed, and yelps.

Dream laughs. He’s wearing blue pajama pants and a white t-shirt. His hair looks messed with, and his cheeks seem to have more color to them. George can’t help but stare.

“Well? Aren’t we gonna finish it?”

George cocks an eyebrow.

“Finish what?”

“The questions, dummy. You don’t… you don’t have to. I mean, it’s kinda stupid that I want to do it in the first place, but…” Dream trails off. George hops on his bed and grins lightly.

“Go for it.”

They answer questions they skipped, like what is your most terrible memory (“My, uh, grandma. She died when I was about 14. It was… hard on me.” “Oh, George…”).

The overhead light was off at this point, the only light coming from a lamp on his desk and the stars shining through the window. The two are on their sides, Dream on the right of the bed and George on the left, facing each other, occasionally looking at their phones to ask the questions.

“What roles do love and affection play in your life?” Dream asks, his voice softer than ever. George can almost not answer. He doesn’t know.

“I’ve never been a super affectionate person, so I don’t know. I’ll give you guys quick hugs of course, but with really close relationships, I don’t know what to do.”

Dream looks as if he’s searching for something in George’s face, and George can’t tell what he’s looking for. His movements are hesitant, George sees.

“Do- um. You wanna maybe,” Dream pauses, closes his eyes,and scrunches up his face. “Try?”

“Try what?”

“Affection.” Dream lets out a breath and opens his eyes. “Affection is my strong suit, afterall.” His mouth forms into a teasing smirk despite his eyes showing nervousness.

“Um. Take the lead.”

It’s slow. So, very slow. Dream’s hand raises up and lands itself on the dip of George’s waist. He’s whispering instructions, and George listens. His hands are hung around Dream’s neck, and their legs are starting to tangle together. They laugh when they realize how far apart they are, and Dream pulls him closer. George can feel his heart beating out of his chest as he lays his head where Dream’s right shoulder meets his neck.

“Do you want me to ask the rest of the questions, sweetheart?” It sounded like a coo, and George is surprised at how effortless the pet name comes out of Dream’s mouth.

“Was that okay?” Dream whispers after a moment of George going still. He perks up.

“Yeah! Yeah.”

“Okay.” Dream pulls George closer and rests his left hand on his back. He starts rubbing up and down in slow motions.

George simply melts.

The questions and answers go by slower, and their voices become gentler. Dream announces that they’re on section three now, and to state three true “we” statements. Dream goes first.

“We… are cuddling?”

“Obviously, idiot.” George chuckles. “We are really tired?” Dream hums.

“We meant everything we’ve said tonight.”

“We are going to mean everything we say tonight.”

“You can’t just steal my answer.”

“Just do your third one.”

“We will be ‘Dream and George’ forever.”

Forever is a long, long time. And yet, Dream’s statement is still true.

“We don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow.”

There’s a beat of silence.

“Very vague.”

“Next question, Dream.”

“Alright, alright. Complete this sentence: ‘I wish I had someone whom I could share…’”

Without a second thought, George replies, “My emotions with. Your turn.”

George swears he felt Dream squeeze him.

“My everything with. Every single little thing. Physical, metaphorical, emotional.”

“Even Patches?”

A laugh.

“Yes. Even Patches.”

“Next question.”

“Tell your partner what you like about them and be very honest.”

“Your voice. It’s like… I don’t even know how to describe it.”

“Does it get you going, George?”

“Shut up. I definitely don’t like your smart-assery.” George can feel Dream lean down into George’s shoulder and smile. “I like how you act around people. It’s always different depending on the person. Different with me.”

“I like how you act around people too. You’re almost always bubbly, even though you like to say you aren’t. And, God, your laugh. It’s so overwhelming, but in the best way possible. You have no idea how many times I’ve said the stupidest shit just to hear your little laugh.” George digs his head deeper into Dream’s shoulder. “I also… really like it when you say my name. My real name.”

George raises slightly, gaining the tiniest bit of confidence. “Clay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, that.”

“Clay,” George whispers.

“George.” Dream sounds weak. So, very weak. George gets closer to his ear.

“Clay.”

George can’t tell if he’s joking.

“You’re gonna kill me, George.”

George’s lips brush against the outer of Dream’s ear, and his friend shivers. He decides this isn’t a joke anymore. He thinks the invisible line they had drawn in the sand many years ago has been kicked and stomped on to the point where neither of them remembers the line being there. George goes further.

“Clay, Clay, Clay,” George is still whispering, slowly brushing his lips across Dream’s jaw, and the hands around his waist get the littlest bit tighter.

George finally raises his head to meet Dream, who was a mess. His cheeks are glowing and his eyes are almost bloodshot. His breath is labored and his hands are shaky.

“Calm down, love.” George whispers and raises his right hand to meet Dream’s cheek, who leans into the touch.

“Kiss me.” Dream begs quietly, as if saying anything louder would shatter the moment in little pieces.

An adrenaline rush fills George’s veins. “Anything you want,” he says, and closes the gap.

The kiss is soft. Dream is maneuvering their bodies to be more comfortable, meaning George is pulled on top of Dream. Their lips didn’t part once.

They move together in harmony, both in the kiss and their bodies, putting everything they got into it. It was unsaid feelings and years and years of thoughts, and George felt every single one of them. George is straddling Dream’s middle and Dream is leaning up to meet George’s touch. His hands are rubbing up and down and squeezing George’s hips and George’s hands find their way into Dream’s hair. It’s perfect and imperfect and everything George has been waiting for, yearning for.

They part, and Dream pushes their foreheads together. George assumes they look dumb, but how could he care in this moment?

“Beautiful. You’re beautiful.” Dream says, his breath tickling George’s mouth. He lets out a breath and breaks out into a smile. His hands start brushing through Dream’s hair and George backs away to get a good look. Dream is staring back.

George lunges forward and wraps his arms around Dream’s neck, sending him flat on the bed with an “oof”.

“Jesus Christ, George. A warning would be nice.”

“I love you. I-love-you-I-love-you-I-love-you-I-love-you-I-love-you-I-love-you-” George couldn’t get enough of saying it. George’s dam cracked when Dream held him and fucking exploded when they kissed. He doesn’t have to hold back anymore, so he doesn’t.

“Slow down, baby.” Dream says through a chuckle. He makes George lean up with tans hands on pale cheeks and a lot of eye contact. “I love you, too.”

George’s breathing slows down to a normal, less-adrenaline-filled pace, and Dream kisses him again. George forces his head back up.

“What does this mean for us?”

“Isn’t it a little obvious?”

“Not really.”

“Boyfriends, George. We’re dating now.”

“How do you know I wanted to even be your boyfriend.” George narrows his eyebrows in faux-suspicion.

Dream’s stare is blank. “I mean. You’re- well- you know, um-”

George dismisses this shortly and confirms, “I want to be your boyfriend.”

Dream sighs in relief. “You’re such an idiot.”

“Yeah. Whatever.” George slides off Dream’s waist and lays facing him. Dream turns as well. “Was that question the last question?”

“No, actually. There were a few left.” Dream blinks, then muses, “Guess we didn’t need 36 questions after all.”

“That was the cheesiest thing you’ve ever said and I hate you for it.”

“You wound me, George. You wound me.”

George makes up for it by letting himself be engulfed in Dream’s embrace, and feels tiny kisses on the top of his head. George nuzzles closer.

Yeah, everything was going to be fine.

[deaththesyd]

To The Brink Of Confession: Chapter 3, Trapped

Finally done! I think I got a little carried away with the length, but I just couldn't stop writing! Hope y'all enjoy the final chapter! Also, per request @mytanuki-kun

Summary: Trapped in her domain, taking on what was left to fester.

The day he had been dreading finally arrived, and he was forced back into her proximity with no place to hide. He still tried though, but when that didn’t work and she approached him, signaling him out of the group, there was simply no way to excuse himself without merely delaying the inevitable. He had been acting a coward, but was he really willing to risk running away? Causing a scene in front of his fellow Akatsuki members? He looked away from her only to meet the daring eyes of his partner, Itachi, who surely knew that he had been contemplating an excuse that would keep the wrath he could feel rolling off her in waves from unleashing upon him. Another moment of weakness and he turned away, and was caught off guard by the side glance he received from Hidan of all people. Kisame was trapped, and the woman in front of him was growing impatient with his lack of a timely response. He had no choice but to face the consequences of his actions.

Following her nervously to her room, he was both thankful to be out of the spotlight and wished to be as far away from her as possible. Staying away from her had felt like hell, yet stepping into her room and watching as she furiously slammed the door closed, he felt as though he had found a fate much worse. Wanting to look away, save himself the torment of watching her, but still yearning to take any scrap of attention she could give won out easily. Running a frantic hand through her hair, she was unable to stand still, her normal fidgeting increased under the stress of her emotions, she began to pace in front of him, quietly fuming and gathering her thoughts. The moment of silence didn’t last long enough in his opinion. “What the hell is up with you?” She spoke loudly, obviously not expecting a response. “At first, I just thought maybe you needed space, that you were tired or something! But then a month goes by and you’re ‘busy’ on a mission! What a load of bull!”

Kisame remembered when he had requested that she be placed with another pair while he and Itachi traveled, the excuse had seemed reasonable enough. It seemed as though she hadn’t bought it.

“And now that you’re here, you’re absolutely silent! Nothing to say?” She growled, the accusation sounded more like she was daring him to say anything, rather than an opportunity to give an explanation. “Of course you don’t, just like you haven’t for the past few months!” The pent-up anger was unleashed, and all he could do was stand awkwardly, gritting his teeth and wishing he wasn’t the one who caused all of this to happen in the first place. Even when she was venting her anger at him, pacing back and forth frantically, she was the one who made his heart ache with longing. “I thought we were friends! I thou-”

“We were!” He broke in, but he realized his mistake when she paused in her movements and turned to look at him helplessly before her anger masked the pain.

“Were?” She shrieked, “What the he-”

“Are! I meant are!” He cut her off to correct his mistake,” God, Woman, obviously, I didn’t-”

“Guess I’m just an irrational woman then,” she hissed, cutting him off in return.

Glaring down at her, his frustration was met with a fiery challenge that came from her own gaze.

But she turned away first, most likely to hide the tears that had collected along her waterline. He was glad she had turned away at that moment because seeing her cry because of him twisted his expression in a way he couldn’t hide. When she spoke again, if he hadn't seen her tears before, he would have known she was crying by the slight waver in her voice. “If we’re friends, why have you been avoiding me?” It sounded like she was trying to sound angry, but all he could hear was her defeated tone and the way she struggled to steady her voice.

“I haven’t, I was busy with a mission,” he tried to dig into the lie, but he already knew it was a lost cause.

“Do you think I’m stupid?” She muttered, still cowering away, still trying to hide the tears that blurred her vision.

She wasn’t, he knew that, yet he kept his mouth shut.

“Am I just annoying?” She tried, pausing a breath to wait for a response, when he still didn’t say anything she continued, “Am I too emotional? Too hard to put up with, too needy? I’m not fun enough, or maybe I’m too loud, quiet? Am I too soft? So weak you can’t stand to be around me anymore?” Her emotion-filled voice rose with every new insecurity she listed and it didn’t seem like she was going to stop anytime soon. “You always have to take care of me, I’m sure it gets old, right? Spending your earnings on extra food, clothes, and supplies. Needing to break so often because a useless civilian like me can't keep walking day and night on a mission like a super-strong ninja like you. Giving up your own comfort so that I’m warm, throwing yourself in front of harm's way because I wouldn’t be able to survive even the wimpiest jutsu, wasting your energy on reassuring me that things are fine even when you’re fighting, it’s all too much and it’s all my fault.” Somewhere along the line, it seemed as though she wasn’t mad at him anymore, and the guilt hit full force when she turned to blaming herself.

“That’s not it,” he managed to say through gritted teeth, and she finally looked at him, angry tears running down her face. He could hear the scraping in his mouth from the amount of pressure he applied as he used all his strength to keep his face guarded and impassive.

“Then what is it about me that made you leave!?” She yelled, and he didn’t think about the words that came out in response.

“I can’t have you!” He yelled back, and suddenly the electric air that had crackled around them since the yelling had begun was no longer present. What had her tears dragged from him?

Raising his voice at her had been his last intention, right next to confessing his feelings, and he regretted it as she stepped back and pressed back against the door looking up at him in shocked bewilderment. The mix of her eyes on him, and his embarrassment at his loss of control made him feel like a pit opened in his stomach, and heat rushed up his neck as if to choke him. Right at that moment, he wished it would. Scaring her away wasn’t what he planned on doing, but for a second he feared that was what he had done. The initial shock wore off quickly though, and against the backdrop of tear tracks still fresh and glistening, her eyes became determined.

Pushing off from her spot against the door she took only a small step forward, but he stepped away, fearing what the look in her eyes meant. His whole life he had been a predator, but caught in her gaze he felt unsure if he was really the one to fear. Again she moved closer, and in response, he did the opposite. “What do you mean by that?” She asked quietly, once again closing the distance, and pushing him further away. “What do you mean you ‘can’t have me’?” She pressed, voice firm, her tone no longer angry. He wanted her to go back to being angry, that was better than the shame he felt now. He felt cornered, and when he ran out of space for retreat, the backs of his knees bent, forcing him to sit on her bed. Even with him sitting, she was just barely taller than him, yet he felt so small as she seemed to leer over him, blocking his exit. “Kisame,” she urged expectantly, “Tell me.”

He couldn’t break eye contact, not under this pressure, and the red puffy skin around her eyes was what made him give in. He had already said the worst thing possible, there was nothing else he could add to make her more disgusted. But was she really that disgusted if she could stand to be so close? The tiniest bit of hope managed to worm itself into his thoughts, and he couldn’t squash it when she looked at him so patiently. A lump had formed in his throat without him noticing and he gulped it down before he answered. “I can’t-” he started, then rethought, “I mean-” he struggled, not knowing how to tell her she was an unobtainable beauty for a murderous monster like him, that he was a subhuman beast that couldn’t ever hope to have her held in his arms, that she was meant for someone that was normal, and better looking, that he had spent the entirety of his life knowing that he was unlovable and that he was stupid enough to fall for her anyway. There were so many words that could have worked, but he couldn’t string together a complete sentence under the stifling atmosphere. The smallest part of him hoped she would give up on getting him to say anything, that she would give him some pity, but the rest of him felt this moment was a worthy punishment for the stupid desire he still had to hold her heart as she already did his.

So focussed on his sputtering attempts at supplying an answer, he jolted when her hand cupped his cheek, and he froze when she gently brushed her thumb along a gill slit. His eyes probably bugged out of his head in disbelief, but her own was glossed over in pensive thought. He didn’t dare move, and his head should have been spinning with thoughts, but instead, it was blank, nothing but the gentle warmth of her touching his face seemed to register. She spoke slowly, not meeting his questioning eyes, her thumb still rubbing back and forth along his cheek, “This was all because…” She focussed on him again, and he had no clue how he hadn’t seen the tears starting once again, “You have feelings for me?” Absolutely dumbfounded, he couldn’t speak, focussed on her teary gaze, he simply nodded. And then he was knocked backward.

It happened so fast, it took him a moment to process it all. The first thing he felt was the wet that seeped through his shirt, followed by the warmth of the sobbing woman shoving herself into him, fisting fabric as she buried her sobs into his chest. Another moment of half laying on her bed with her sprawled on top of him and he felt his arms wrap around her, gently, unsure if he should, if he was allowed, but she didn’t protest, and he felt too greedy to restrain himself. They lay there for what seemed like forever, but he still couldn’t find any words that were worth saying, and she was preoccupied with drenching his shirt. What possessed him, he had no clue, but one arm slid up her back and a hand began to comb through her hair carefully. She didn’t protest, and he momentarily noted that it was the only time she hadn’t when he touched her hair. It was soft, the tangles that caught on his fingers pulled apart without resistance, and if he focused, he could faintly smell the scent of her shampoo. It was nice, the sweet fragrance fit her. He felt creepy sniffing her hair like an animal, so he turned his head away from the tempting smell. The longer he played with her hair, the more her crying died down, until she stopped. The silence continued, only broken by her deep breaths as she tried to regain some composure. His hand still resting on her back began to rub firm circles in a way that felt natural. Once again, she either didn’t mind, or she simply lacked the energy to stop him, but once he started he couldn’t bring himself to stop. Especially not when the grip on his shirt lessened and she relaxed her tense muscles.

“You’re so stupid,” she muttered, and it hurt, but it felt right to finally hear her rejection. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to stop his greedy hands from taking what they could. “What do you mean, ‘I can’t have you’?” She laughed humorlessly, and he was confused, didn’t she know? Ripping his hands away the moment they were met with resistance, he looked at her as she pressed up from her position on his chest. “You already have me,” she said, her voice gentle and reassuring, as she moved to hover over him, repositioning herself, before lowering herself to press her lips to his. Kisame had been kissed before, he wasn’t completely inexperienced, but the soft press of her lips to his was enough to make him forget to respond, and by the time he caught up with what had happened, they were gone. Caught off guard once again, he hadn’t closed his eyes, and he saw her eyes flutter open as she put space between them again, shifting her weight to tuck her hair behind her ear as she leaned over him, stunning him with the affection clear in her adoring gaze. “You’ve had me this whole time.”

It felt so unreal, all of his actions couldn’t have been his, yet who else’s could they have been? Greedy hands pulled her down, needy mouth pressed against hers, eliciting sighs that he wasn’t ready to accept were caused by him, running his hand through her silky locks again, taking advantage of the high chance that this would never happen again. But it did, they had to come up for air, but almost immediately she was panting against his lips, trying to force her tongue in between his sharp teeth, and how could he deny her? One of her hands tugged on his hair, while the other was too busy supporting her to join, an issue he fixed by pulling her into the center of his chest. Her technique was rusty, but the longer their kiss held, the more easily she could pull groans from him, her now free hand cupping his jaw for a better angle. What brought him back into reality was the heat that was beginning to gather in his groin, and he wasn’t about to push his luck. Holding her back caused her to whine, but she instead shifted her attention to his neck, peppering it with fluttery kisses, they tickled and he felt her shake as a laugh rumbled through his chest.

“Shouldn’t we talk about this?” He asked, making her huff as she halted her affections to prop herself up on his chest to glare at him sternly.

“That can wait, first you have to deal with the consequences of your actions,” she instructed.

“And what might those be?” He asked, feeling uneasy at the threat in her words. She may return his feelings, but up to now, he had acted so unforgivably.

The evil smirk she attempted to pull off held only a fraction of a second before it softened and she pressed a gentle peck on his forehead, and another just above his brow, then along the side of his face, lips fluttering down till they met the corner of his own. “You just have to stay here while I smother you in my kisses,” she said before she began the cycle of kisses again along the other half of his face. A disbelieving breath of laughter left his gasping lips, it didn’t feel real at all, even as her lips trailed down to his collar and began to leave sloppy open-mouthed kisses on the sensitive skin, he had to be dreaming. His breath hitched as she found a sweet spot and she applied suction, swirling her tongue along what was sure to be a bruised purple later. The distraction that her promise had given him ended as her ministrations caused him to be reminded of a quickly rising issue.

Turning his head away from her he managed to sputter out a plea for her to stop. Reluctantly, she did, looking confusedly at him. “Too much?” She asked, trying to get him to meet her eyes, then more worriedly, “Was that not okay?”

Trying to reign in his breathing and slow his racing heart rate was taking more effort than it should’ve, but he forced himself to look at her, simultaneously appreciating the beauty that hovered above him, and cursing himself for making her think he didn’t want everything she could give. “Too much,” he confirmed, making her relax a tad bit, “It’s just a lot to handle all at once.” Giving him an understanding look she pressed off of him, moving to sit on the bed next to him. Feeling as though that was her taking his words as a cue to leave, he frantically sat up as well, ready to reach for her should she get up from the bed, but his fear of rejection was unfounded as she placed a calming hand just above his knee. Her warm touch grounded him and he forced himself to calm down. Funny as it was, the space she gave allowed him time to process what had happened without the near suffocating amount of feelings being fed into. Probably feeling similarly, she sighed in content, keeping her space, staying mostly quiet, but she never took her hand away from him as he took advantage of the pause in activity to think.

Now knowing his choice to try and save himself from the pain of being around her was one of the least helpful ways to handle his emotions, and that all along she had craved him in the same way, he felt like the biggest fool. Of course, he had noticed some of the more odd things she did around him, like how she seemed to be flustered by his touch, but he had always taken that as her disguising her disgust, not that the addictive warmth that lingered made her just as excited as him. The laugh he worked so hard to hear, the one that ripped snorts and unfeminine seal noises from her, the one that seemed to infect him with an unstoppable need to laugh as well, was music to his ears as his rough throaty chuckles were to hers. All the times he had caught her staring, it wasn’t because she had simply spaced out, nor was it because she was appreciating someone else’s looks, she had been admiring him. The anger and worry he gave her when he took a risk in battle were more than her fretting over him more because she thought he wasn’t strong enough, she chastised him because she couldn’t stand to see him get hurt while protecting her. Within only a few moments of collecting his thoughts and putting things together, it was so obvious now how his self-doubt had clouded his ability to see what was clear as day to everyone around him. She really had been transparent about her feelings this entire time, and he had simply waved them away, trapped in his self-pity.

“I’m sorry,” he said. Whipping her head to look at him, taken aback, she must not have understood what he was apologizing for. He didn’t let her worry a second longer, as he gently held her chin and lifted her lips to meet him for a soft kiss. It wasn’t long, only a few seconds, but this one eased her more than any of the ones before. Pulling away, he was gifted the sight of her eyelids slowly opening, revealing expectant eyes. Kisame hoped that was a common thing he was going to be able to see from now on. “I shouldn’t have run away from you like that, I was just…” He trailed off as he strained to admit the word he knew was right. Shifting closer, her other hand reached for the closest of his, encouraging him to continue. No matter what he said, she wasn’t going anywhere. Still ashamed, he finished, “A coward. Being around you always felt so bittersweet, it felt so good when you laughed at my jokes and fed into my antics, but knowing that I wasn’t worth anything more than someone to pass the time with to you was torture.”

Stupid as he felt confessing to her, she didn’t laugh, just leaned her head into his shoulder, squeezing affectionately his leg. He continued, needing to let her know why he had ever allowed himself to hurt her. “I’ve spent my life being nothing more than a monstrous weapon, even in a group like the Akatsuki, my appearance still stands out, and not in a good way.” Feeling her nuzzle into his arm, her way of showing her disagreement, he felt nothing but warm affection for her, thankful she was a rare outlier from the rest of the world. “Allowing myself to consider that I had a chance with someone as amazing as you hurt more every time I remembered just how much of a freak I am,” he chuckled when he heard her whine in response, but she didn’t interrupt further. “Eventually everything you did just made me upset that you couldn’t feel the same way, and I made up my mind to distance myself.” Getting his built-up feelings off his chest felt rather therapeutic. Having her pressed against him, entwining their hands made all of his pent-up worries ebb away.

“Promise that from now on you’ll talk to me instead of leaving me stressed and confused?” She pleaded when he stayed silent.

Leaning down to indulgently breathe in her scent as he pressed his lips to the top of her head, he promised.

Staying like that for a while, they simply took in everything that had happened in the quiet. At least that was what he was doing until she started giggling to herself. “What’s so funny?” He spoke into her hair, vibrating along with her cute laughter.

“Is that why you were so insistent that I stopped?” She said through her soft laughing. Startled, he pulled away and looked down at his lap, seeing the almost forgotten product of his earlier arousal outlined clearer than normal. Distracted by all the emotional stuff he hadn’t realized how obvious his need had become. Heat washed over his entire body in embarrassment as he sputtered an apology. Still giggling the whole time, his mortification only made her laugh harder. Despite his efforts to escape her hold, she pressed herself close once again, choking out apologies of her own. “It’s alright, I’m probably a mess down there too,” she admitted, making him choke on air, causing her to laugh even harder. The deepening blush that took over his face began to make him sweat, but he tried to relax. Clearly, she wasn’t upset. Recovering from her little giggling fit, she looked up at him shyly smiling. “I don’t think I’m ready for that yet, so I’m glad you stopped me,” she expressed, but with more confidence, she added, “That doesn’t mean I don’t want to eventually.”

Just when he thought his body temperature couldn’t be raised further. He chuckled though, “I wouldn’t mind if you never were, as long as I can hold you,” he swore sincerely, making her snort, “But I look forward to the day when you’d let me take care of the mess I’ve made.” He teased, making her squeal before laughing again, hiding her face against his arm. As cute as her reaction was, his arousal was becoming too distracting. “I should go take care of this though,” He said reluctantly, making her shove away from him, ushering him towards the door.

“Go do that, you know where to find me when you’re done anyway,” she said, using her now free hands to fix her hair. He couldn’t resist reaching back to muss it back up before he left, laughing at her upset whine.

If only he had known of the teasing he would get from his fellow Akatsuki members who had heard the heated conversation loud and clear through the thin walls, he would have stayed and delayed the inevitable. But even though he was relentlessly teased, especially after Hidan noticed the stirring in his pants, at least he had her to look forward to from now on.

[rocorambles]

Redemption

Pairing: Ushijima x Reader

Genre: NSFW, Fluff and Smut

Warnings: Slight Size Kink

Summary: When you find out Ushijima is a virgin, you offer to be his first and help him out. But in reality, you might be the one who needs some help.

Requested by Anon

There’s a comfortable quiet atmosphere between the two of you as Ushijima hands you a clean towel while you pant for breath. Technically speaking, there’s no reason why the two of you need to be together today on one of the few days the Schweiden Adlers had off, but you had a soft spot for the pro-athlete, so when he had asked if you wanted to go workout together at the team training gym, you agreed. You couldn’t deny you needed some exercise. Being a team manager didn’t mean you worked out much yourself, so you looked forward to sweating some extra calories. But you really should have known better than to expect just a normal workout with Ushijima sternly overseeing your routine. 

“Ushijima, you do realize I’m not a pro-athlete like you, right? You can’t expect me to keep up with you.” 

“Anyone can do anything if they set their minds on it and work hard enough.” 

You roll your eyes before fondly looking at the tall man beside you. Was he a little dense and a little too blunt? Sure. But you saw the heart of gold and genuineness within him. You’d always wondered why the man was still single. You know he’s sometimes an idiot when it comes to social cues and can’t hold small talk to save his life, but you’d seen far worse and less deserving men end up tricking some poor damsel into their spider webs. Surely you’re not the only one who sees the diamond in the rough that Ushijima really is? 

You don’t realize you’re intensely staring at him until he uncomfortably shifts. “It’s rude to stare.” You blush and quickly turn away from him, opting to chug your water as a distraction. Checking your phone, you gasp when you realize how late it is. “Shit, sorry, I really need to run…” You trail off and Ushijima narrows his eyes at you as a mischievous grin spreads across your face. He’s all too aware that the look doesn’t mean anything good for him. 

“What are you doing tonight?”

There’s a long pause before he grunts out “nothing” and you suddenly seem more intimidating than any opponent he’s faced across the net when your eyes light up and your head moves until it’s only inches away from his own. 

“Cool! So you’re going to a party with me then.” 

He blinks once at you before completely shutting you down with a resounding no. But really, after knowing you and working in such close proximity with you almost every day, he should realize how relentless you are once your mind is made up. 

“When’s the last time you talked to anyone outside of the team, coaches, trainers, and managers? And Tendou doesn’t count since he’s still technically volleyball related.” 

Ok, so maybe you had a point there. 

“We don’t even have practice for the next few days! So you’ll have time to rest up and recover and be totally back to 100% for the next practice.” 

You smile when you see his determined look slip a bit, but your jaw drops at his next words. “I’m not going to a party where you’re just going to ditch me to have sex with someone and then either complain or brag about it to me the next day.” 

You frantically cover his mouth with your hands as you nervously look around to make sure no one around had heard him. “USHIJIMA! I tell you these things because I expect you to keep quiet about them. Not just blabber it out for everyone to hear.” 

He impassively stares at you and you sigh as you remove your hands from his face before determinedly looking at him again. “But actually since you’ve already brought it up, I noticed you never have any spicy stories to tell me! It’s not fair if I’m the one who’s always sharing. When’s the last time you even had sex? It has to be stressful to not let off some steam in a more enjoyable way than volleyball.”  (Although you secretly wonder if Ushijima finds volleyball more pleasurable than sex. You wouldn’t doubt it.) But you squint as he suddenly seems less stoic than usual and...are his cheeks pink? 

“Ushijima, are you embarrassed? I literally tell you about all my sex exploits and you’re embarrassed by me just asking you when the last time you did it was?” Your voice trails off when a suspicion begins to form and your eyes soften as you more gently nudge him. “It’s okay if it’s been a long time. I know how busy you are. It’s not a reflection of you, I promise. But isn’t that more reason to come out with me tonight?” He mumbles something and you lean in, unable to make out the words, but when he repeats them, you freeze. 

A virgin? Ushijima was a virgin? 

You know you should say something instead of just staring at him like an idiot, but shock numbs you and only when he makes a move to get up and leave do you hastily grab his arm. Your mouth flounders as you try to come up with a response, but when you observe how vulnerable and sensitive the topic seems to be for him, your heart goes out to your friend and you shake the lingering surprise from you. 

“Hey, it’s not a big deal. I think it’s kind of sweet actually. Your first time should be special, with someone you really care about. You shouldn’t ever feel ashamed about the fact that you haven’t done it. Hell, I wish I hadn’t been so quick to lose my virginity to some asshole in college.” 

You smile when you see his shoulders straighten and maybe it’s the slight upturned twitch of his lips or maybe it’s the way dark olive eyes glow when they look at you, but you don’t even register the words that come tumbling from your lips until they hang heavy in the air. 

“I could be your first if you wanted.” 

You are a fucking idiot. You scramble to figure out a way to take back those words, already preparing for Ushijima to angrily end any friendship the two of you had, already dreading how you’re going to manage a team when one of the starters hates you. Your mind is reeling so hard from the dark future you’ve painted for yourself in your head that you almost miss what Ushijima says. 

“Okay.” 

Suffice to say, all plans to go to your party fly out the window and you send an apologetic text to your friend. Ushijima and you go to your respective locker rooms to wash up and freshen up before trekking back to your apartment. The walk isn’t uncomfortable per se, but there’s an electric energy radiating between the two of you as you walk silently next to each other. And shit, you’re not the virgin, but why is your heart beating so hard and so fast that you think it might literally explode from your chest? You scowl at yourself as your hands tremble when you unlock and open your front door and when Ushijima’s back is turned to you as he removes his shoes, you mentally slap yourself to get it together. 

With renewed confidence, you firmly grasp his larger wrist and tug him along to your bedroom where you gently push him onto the bed. You take a moment to revel in the power you feel from being in charge of the stronger, larger man underneath you and arousal stirs within you from Ushijima’s submission and willingness to let you have your way with him. It’s the most vulnerable you’ve ever seen him and your heart warms as you lean down to softly kiss him, smiling against his lips when you feel him tentatively reciprocate. Kissing Ushijima feels like what you imagine completing a satisfying day's work on the farm feels like. You can almost taste the sturdiness, the comforting warmth of a fireplace burning as you return from the fields, and the authentic, humble roots on his lips. There’s no frills, no pretenses. It’s purely Ushijima and you love it. 

You think you could spend all night just kissing him if you wanted to, but you remind yourself of tonight’s mission. You trail your fingers down his chest until you reach the hem of his shirt which you begin to roll up until it reaches the top of his torso and he helps you fully remove it. Sitting upright on his thighs, you can feel yourself salivate as you take in the broad expanse of his upper body on display for you. You’ve seen it before, but in the dim light of your bedroom and splayed across your bedsheets, it’s mesmerizing and you can’t help the way you unconsciously run your hands across every inch of taut muscle and kiss random lines across chiseled lines. You smirk when you feel Ushijima’s groin thrust up when you coyly flick a nipple with your tongue and you stare at him as you begin to suck on the hardening bud, drinking in the sight of the usually reserved man letting out breathy moans as you continue your ministrations.

You want to tease him more, coax more sounds out of him, but the feeling of something hard prodding your stomach keeps you moving on and you pointedly tug on the waistband of his pants until he gets the memo and raises his hips to allow you to remove everything until he’s completely bare before you. And any confidence you had built up shatters. 

If you’re entirely honest, you’d had your fair share of wet dreams imagining what Ushijima was hiding underneath his shorts, but when faced with reality that’s somehow even larger than anything you had even dreamt of, you bite your bottom nervously as your pussy clenches at the thought of trying to fit him inside of you. You’re not sure if it’s lust or nerves that has your stomach twisting as you wrap a hand around his impressive girth. Probably both, you think, as your throat goes dry and your thighs squeeze together when you see how your entire fist barely covers less than half of him. 

Your attention is brought back to the man underneath you when you hear a low groan as you stroke your fist up and down his shaft, giving some extra attention to the leaking slit at the tip. Your other hand reaches underneath your panties and circles your clit. You’ll need to be absolutely drenched before you can even think of trying to take him. But it’s not hard for your cunt to become a sopping mess when you stare in awe at the way Ushijima writhes underneath you, releasing low breathy pants and grunts that you can feel rumbling throughout his body. Already feeling a wet spot seeping through your clothes, you affectionately kiss him once more before briefly getting up to quickly strip down. His eyes hungrily devour the sight of your naked figure as you crawl back above him and adjust your position until you feel his tip nudging at your entrance. 

You close your eyes and moan as you slowly lower yourself onto him, but even as wet as you are, you can barely take half of him inside you as he stretches you far beyond any person or any toy has. Yet, despite the discomfort and borderline pain of the stretch, you feel even more of your arousal dripping down your thigh as you continuously lift and lower yourself, always pushing slightly harder, slightly further than where you’d been before. Your eyes roll back from the feeling of being so full and your nails dig into Ushijima’s shoulders as you desperately continue to work his entire length into you. But you reach your limit and you swear you can feel him inside of your womb even though there’s still about a quarter more of his cock waiting to penetrate you. You take a deep breath and exhale as you try to sink further down, but you let out a broken moan when fingers twist and tug your nipples. 

Ushijima intensely observes you as he kneads your fleshy mounds, playing with your hardened nubs until he sees the tiny furrow on your forehead smooth out. He sits up and bends his neck to soothingly kiss you. A primal instinct in him had been entranced at the sight of your much smaller figure struggling to take just a part of him and he had to use every bit of will power he had to not instantly cum at the feeling of your warm and wet walls squeezing around him. But when he saw the hints of pain you tried to push past written all over your face, a desire to make you feel only pleasure had overtaken him. 

He continues running his fingers across your chest as your tongues twist and turn against each other and you moan into his mouth as you reach a hand down to furiously rub against your clit until you feel another surge of arousal and more fluids run down your inner thigh. You guide his hands to your waist before continuing to rub your clit and you urge him to help you as you clash your lips against his once more. But you tear away from his mouth in a silent scream as he grabs you and forcefully pushes you down and down until your lower bodies press tightly against each other, any space between them removed. Ushijima’s eyes are glued to your face and he takes in the way your eyes widen and your jaw drops open as you claw at his arms, leaving angry red trails as your body tries to adjust to literally being stuffed full. He patiently waits until your nails stop their frantic clawing and he drops his forehead to your shoulder with a groan as you begin to rock your hips up and down. 

He can feel the sloppy mess you’re making as you continue to flood the sheets underneath with your seemingly never ending arousal, but he can’t bring himself to care as your pace speeds up until you’re practically bouncing in his lap as you desperately chase your end. You scream when he tightens his grip on your waist and assists you, slamming you down and easily picking you up before slamming you down again, perfectly matching your rhythm until everything blends together and you don’t even know who’s doing what anymore. All you know is the feeling of Ushijima’s cock sliding and pressing against every inch and every crevice of your pussy, filling you so well you wonder if you’ll ever be satisfied with anything else inside of you after this. 

You can’t even bring yourself to feel ashamed by the wanton wail you let out as you reach a higher peak than you’ve ever reached before and your entire body shakes with pleasure as Ushijima continues to lift and lower your body even without any support from you until he harshly pushes you down one last time and holds you still as he releases thick spurts deep inside of you, so deep that even in the haze of your orgasm you’re grateful you’re on birth control because you’re sure he’s coating your actual womb with how far inside he seems to reach. You slump into his chest and let yourself be maneuvered by him until the two of you are lying side by side, facing each other, your lower bodies still intimately connected. 

The two of you lay there for a while and you instinctively nuzzle your face into his chest as his arms tenderly wrap around you, pulling you even closer to him and you both take quiet comfort in the sounds of your heavy breaths filling the air. But when your heart beats slow and your breathing evens out, you cringe in embarrassment. 

“Ushijima, I’m so sorry. This was your first time. I should have been the one taking care of you, but you ended up needing to step in and take charge.” There’s a stretch of silence before you feel one of his arms move and a hand lightly nudges your head up to look at him. Your heart flutters when you see the most gentle smile you’ve ever seen on his face.  

���Wakatoshi. Call me Wakatoshi.”

You see a flash of uncertainty in his usually confident eyes as he hesitantly inches his face closer to yours, but you grin as you meet him halfway and your lips slot against each other like two puzzle pieces perfectly connecting. You close your eyes and relish the peaceful moment for a bit before using the element of surprise and pushing against him until he’s on his back underneath you once more. You playfully clench your pussy walls and smirk at the way he throws his head back and hisses at the feeling. You can feel him begin to harden once more inside of you and when he looks back at you, you shoot a wink his way. 

“Let me redeem myself, Wakatoshi.”  

[elliesguitarstrings]

Silence (Part 4)

Masterlist//Series Masterlist

Peter Parker x Stark!reader

Summary: You and Peter have been best friends ever since he stepped foot into the avengers compound. After a year of being friends you realize you’ve developed a crush on him, but he doesn’t feel the same way… at least, you don’t think he does.

A/N: This is the second to last part I think! I was gonna do just one more long part but I want to keep this series going for a little longer so I decided to split it into 2 more parts so this one is kinda short. Please keep sending requests bc I’ve really enjoyed writing them and I’m hopefully gonna post more of them soon <3

Warnings: language, little bit of angst

~~~~~~~~

It’s been three days since you last spoke to Peter. Three long, antagonizing days.

The fact that Peter kept ignoring you for MJ just pushed you to your breaking point. Plus, your chance with Peter is slim to none at this point, and it would just hurt more to stay so close to him knowing that he would never love you as much as you love him. Despite all the shitty things he’s done in the past few days, you still love Peter, which makes ignoring him all the more painful. But you had no other choice.

You hadn’t had a proper conversation with him since the dreadful events of your “friendiversary,” which for you and Peter was practically unheard of. You passed him in the halls of the compound and occasionally shot him a glance at team meetings, but other than that you ignored him completely.

Sitting on your bed, you pick up your phone.

14 New Messages from Peter

P: Y/N?

P: Y/N can we please talk

P: why are you ignoring me  

P: what did i do wrong can we please talk

P: Y/N why won’t you respond

P: how long are you gonna ignore me for

You stop reading after the sixth text. He’s been texting you constantly, but you never respond. To be honest, you don’t actually know how long you plan on ignoring him for. Obviously, you have to hash it out at some point, but you don’t think that will be anytime soon. Well, at least you hope it won’t be anytime soon.

Suddenly, FRIDAY announces, “Miss. Stark, Mr. Stark has requested you in his lab.”

You sigh, “What for?”

“Official Avengers business, so I would hurry.”

That peaks your interest, so you quickly leave your room and jog downstairs to your dad’s lab. You scan your fingerprint on the keypad, and the glass doors automatically side open, granting you access.

“Y/N, great, you’re here. I’ve got some big news,” your dad states.

“Really? What is it?” you ask excitedly.

“I’ve talked it over with the rest of the team, and we’ve all decided that you’re ready.”

“What!? Like ready to be an Avenger?” at this point, you’re practically shaking with excitement.

“Yes. You’ve had plenty of training, and we could use some extra help, so I’ve decided to make you an official part of the Avengers. Congrats honey.”

You rush to hug your dad, squeezing him tightly, “Thank you thank you thank you! You’re the best!” You pull away, “Does that mean I get to go on missions now?”

“Not just yet Y/N, you’ll just be starting off with patrol right now. I want to make sure you’re really ready.”

Normally, you would be opposed to this, begging him to let you go on a real mission, but at this point any excuse to get out of the compound and away from Peter was good enough for you.

“Okay! Can I go today?”

“Actually, that works out great! Peter has patrol in Queens tonight, so you can go with him. He can give you the lay of the land, tell you how stuff works and all,” he smirks.

“No, absolutely not,” you answer sternly, “I am not going with him.”

“Then I guess you won’t get to be part of the team.”

“WHAT? THAT’S NOT FAIR!”

“Y/N, now is not the time to be raising your voice at me. You can’t pick and choose who you fight with, just like you can’t pick and choose who you fight against. If you can’t figure out how to work out your stupid teenage problems, then I can’t have you on the team. I don’t want you jeopardizing a mission because you can’t work out a stupid problem with a boy.”

“But dad-“

“No buts. You either do your job or you’re not a part of the team. Understand?”

“Fine.” You storm out of the room, upset that yet another exciting thing is ruined by Peter.

As you hurry back to your room, you glare at Peter who is sitting on the couch watching TV. He starts to get up to talk to you, but is stopped by Nat, who follows you upstairs. Before you get the chance to slam your door shut, she catches it and slips into your room after you, shutting the door behind her.

“Okay, what’s going on with you and the kid?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on Y/N, it’s obviously not nothing. Everyone’s noticed that you’ve been ignoring him. Even Clint commented on it this morning, and he doesn’t give a shit about anything that goes around here.”

“Why does it matter?”

“Because I know you have feelings for him.”

Taken aback, you stutter, “W-what? No I don’t. You have no proof.”

“Oh please, I see the way you act with him, or well, how you used to act around him before you decided to start ignoring him for no reason.”

When you don’t respond, she sits down next to you on your bed. “Look Y/N, I know we’re not best friends, but you can talk to me. Just tell me what’s going on and maybe I can help. You can’t just keep your feelings bottled up like this. Trust me.”

“Fine,” you huff, “I do like him, but he doesn’t like me.”

“Is that why you haven’t been talking to him?”

“Sort of. But there’s more to it. He likes this girl from his school named MJ, and he’s been choosing her over me for a while now. And then the other day I had this whole day planned out for us because it was our one year anniversary of first meeting and becoming friends, and he invited MJ and one of his other friends to come with us,” tears start to roll down your cheeks, “And he spent the whole day with her, like he was purposefully avoiding me and rubbing it in my face that he doesn’t like me like that, that he’ll only see me as a friend.”

You scoot closer to Nat, and surprisingly, she pulls you into a short, but comforting hug. It actually means a lot to you, given that she’s not really the hugging type, and it makes you feel a but better knowing that she’s willing to comfort you.

“I’m sorry about that Y/N. It doesn’t seem like something Peter would do.”

“I know, which is why I’m even more pissed at him.”

Nat stares at the wall for a few seconds, seemingly deep in thought.

“I think you should tell him how you feel, tell him that you like him.” she states pointedly.

“What? Why would I do that?” you exclaim, taken aback.

She stands up off the bed and starts to walk out of the room, “Trust me. I have a hunch about it.”

She smirks and swiftly walks out the door, leaving you completely and utterly confused. For the time being, you decide to ignore it, ruling out the idea of confessing your feelings to a boy who doesn’t even like you, and who you are extremely mad at. That would be insane, right?

~~~~~~~~

Taglist: add yourself to my taglist here!

Strikethrough means I couldn’t tag you :(

All: @pxkajesus @hollanddolanfangirl @roseke @agentsofparker @lifeasjazzz @damnrancidchicken @loopyolivia @iwannabekilledtwice @rafehogwarts @non-eexistent @rosiexx8 @nearlydanger9 @realityisabitch07 @midgardassassins @jbreenr @cap-marvxl @ellesmythe @deepestcolorgiantopera @that-one-person @clandestine-nerd @nevertrustapanda16 @ohabbyoh @rxmanxff @bubbleskz @quinn-spn58 @baby-pogue @strangebouquetqueen @thatforgottenangel @pjmjams @tiredstudenttrinity @isabella-bby @i-will-take-care-of--you @hollandprkr @ladykxxx08

Peter Parker: @blizzardbabe @ifyouwereanybraveryoudbealioness

Series: @t-hollanderr  @allycat449-blog @haley-talks-too-much​

[capaimagines]

choi yeonjun - i would

Pairing: best friend!Yeonjun x Reader | Genre: angst & fluff | Warnings: body image comments, reader struggling with weight, themes of depression | WC: 1.5k

Request: Yeonjun X chubby reader being very insecure and starts to neglect herself from her friends

“Maybe you should just get a bigger size,” Your friend suggested. You frowned a little at her words as you believed the dress didn’t look that bad.  

“I think this looks fine though,” You said, “If I get a size up it’s going to look like a potato sack,”  You continued to explain as your friend bit her cheek, looking you up and down to which made you suddenly feel self-conscious and turn back to the mirror.

“Look,” She grabbed some of the extra skin that was hanging out of the torso part by your arms, “It’s too tight that it’s making you look bigger. You have extra skin just flapping about,” Well that was a knife to your pride. 

You had always struggled with your weight from the moment you were born. You had done dieting, going to the gym, getting a personal trainer, everything. You just never seemed to shed the extra pounds. You weren’t fat by any means and somewhere deep down, you knew that.  You were just thicker than most girls your age.

Instead of a gap between your thighs like most of your friends, yours rubbed together. Your stomach stuck out a little, but not enough for you to feel like it was making you look bigger than you felt. Eventually, you had given up trying to lose the weight and had done your best to embrace it. You weren’t fat, no. Though, you could acknowledge you were chubby at least, but that was okay.

What wasn’t okay though was when your friends would joke about your weight or make nasty comments as well as sly ones. It always brought you to a dark head space. Did you want to look like the models everyone sees on the cover of magazines and in commercials?  Of course, who doesn’t? You had enough common sense to know that not everyone could look that way naturally.

“There! Much better!” Your friend said with a bright smile. She had brought you the same dress in a bigger size and while you thought it was a little too big, you went along with it. You didn’t want extra skin hanging over your clothes.  

“Perfect,” You deadpanned, staring into the mirror.  

“Come on, Y/N! We’ll go get your favorite sweets! We all know how much you love them!” She winked and you felt another jab at your weight but said nothing as you went along with it.

You returned home to your lonely apartment and glared at the shopping bag with the dress in your hand. You wanted nothing more than to just rip it up and burn it now. You felt your stomach growl but pushed it aside. You could skip dinner today, besides, you didn't need any more excess skin.

You sat on your bed, wallowing in self-pity when your phone rang. You couldn’t help but smile as your best friend’s name flashed across the screen. Choi Yeonjun. You had been friends since you were little, practically like siblings. Even though his career was taking off, he still found time to talk with you and check-up. You plastered a smile to your face, answering the face time call.

“Jun-ie!” You said cheerily and you saw him frown,“W-what?” You stuttered.  

“Please, Y/N. You act like I don’t know when you’re faking excitement,” You deflated, hating him a little bit for how well he did know you, “What’s wrong, bub? You said you were going shopping today with your friend. Shouldn’t you be happy?” You shrugged, not saying anything.

Yeonjun had always been there to defend you when one of your friends would joke about your weight. He seemed to be the only one that didn’t mind if you were on the chubbier side, “It was fun. I’m actually just really tired, Jun. Yeah. Can I call you tomorrow maybe?” He frowned but agreed and you hung up. You just wanted to be alone right now.

The next day came around, however you didn’t call him. You answered his messages, but even you could tell they were distant. Your friends had asked you to come out with them to some club, but you ignored their messages. You didn’t want more reason to hate yourself than you already did.  You had spent the morning doing crunches, eating some healthy food that was bland but good for you.

You even went for a jog earlier, but you quickly came back. Every time you felt your thighs jiggle or your butt shake you were paranoid that everyone else could see it too. You just wanted to shut yourself away in your apartment. At least others couldn’t see you.

That went on for a few days, you dieting again (healthily) but refusing to leave your apartment.  You did home work out videos in hopes that it would help. You had pulled away from your friends, only responding when absolutely necessary and you had never been more grateful to have a job where you could work at home. At least you wouldn’t have to squeeze into a pencil skirt.

There was a knock at your door and you raised a brow as you wiped some sweat off your neck.  No one had told you they were stopping by and you hadn’t ordered food or anything online.  

“L/N Y/N! I know you’re in there! Open this door right now!” Your breath hitched at the sound of Yeonjun’s angry voice. You really didn’t think he would have noticed or even had time to come see you.

You cleared your throat and opened the door, refusing to meet his gaze, “What are you doing here, Jun? Don’t you have practice today?” You tried to keep your voice void of emotion but you did miss your best friend.  

“I did, but you also have barely talked to me all week. I think this is a little more important,” He explained as he stepped in, closing the door behind him and staring down at you.

The corner of his mouth quirked up in a smile that he was trying to hide. He always thought you were cute and he did miss you, “What’s wrong? I know you haven’t gone out all week. I talked to your friend. She said you keep blowing them off or telling them you’re too busy,”  You just shrugged, walking to the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water. Yeonjun followed you with narrowed eyes.

“Do you think your nutritionist would let me use your diet plan?” You asked absentmindedly and Yeonjun’s eyes went wide.  

“W-why?” He questioned, Is that what this is about?” You shrugged again and Yeonjun grunted at your stubbornness. “Tell me what happened,” That’s all it took for you to spill what had happened when you went shopping with your friend last week.

You told him how you had gotten stuck in that bad head space. How you were going back to dieting and exercising and refusing to leave your apartment unless it was necessary, “I mean, look at this!” You pinched your cheek, pulling it out, “Who wants to date someone that has extra blubber everywhere?!” 

Yeonjun chuckled, shaking his head, “Go put the dress on,” You looked at him, becoming annoyed. You just told him how much you hated that dress and now he wants you to put it on?

“Choi Yeonjun! I just told you! Why would you want me to put it on?!” He rolled his eyes, lazily placing his chin in his hand that was propped up on your counter.  

“Just go and put it on, Y/N.”

You stormed away, giving in because you knew if you didn’t put it on, he was going to force it on you himself. You grumbled the whole time as you slipped out of your workout clothes and into the dreaded dress, with a scowl on your face as you walked over to your full-length mirror and scrutinized yourself. You were so wrapped up in glaring at yourself and being annoyed with Yeonjun you hadn’t seen him walk into the room.

“Boo!” He said quietly and you jumped turning to him.  

“Yeonjun! What the hell is wrong with you?” He smiled at you, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and placing his chin on your shoulder. You felt your cheeks heat up slightly, but this was normal. Yeonjun was always touchy. You tried to pull his hands away from your stomach, “You probably don’t want to feel that,” You muttered.

He spun you around to face him, dark brown orbs staring hard into your light ones, “You said who would want to date someone like that, yeah?” He asked and you gulped, understanding that his tone was angry. He never liked when you insulted yourself. Or when you got down on yourself. You nodded, averting your gaze to his chest, willing the unshed tears to remain unshed until her left.

He gently lifted your chin up with his hand, staring into your eyes as he leaned in. 

“Well,” He began as he rested his forehead against yours, “I would.”

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Teenagers Part 6

Harry Potter Marauders Era 

Link to Part 5 

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 

Rating: M

________

The next day on the train, James was silent as the grave. After realizing just what you were going to do in the room of requirement with Regulus he had seemingly lost the ability to speak. Sirius, meanwhile, had come to the determination that Regulus was responsible and probably had enough sense to “use something.” After lying in the dark for a good amount of time the previous night Sirius decided that he was just going to butt out of the situation and pray that nothing bad would happen to you.

You seemed happy with Regulus and his brother, by the grace of God, seemed happier than he ever had since the day that he was born. Regulus was actually smiling and looking thrilled with life. He didn’t have that sour “I hate everyone” expression that Sirius was so used to seeing on his brother’s face.

Hopefully Reg will protect her from the cult. If not, well, I’ll step in then.

Sirius thought as Regulus shoved James out of his way. Regulus had one hand intertwined with yours as you hurried behind him.

“Out of the way, Potter.”

Regulus snapped, enjoying the dark look on James’ face as you shot your older brother a silent “sorry.”

“I should stomp your face in, Black.”

“Come, Reggie, just let it go.”

You said as the two of you disappeared into a compartment that included Evan Rosier. Evan smirked at James as if daring him to come in and say something snarky.

Arriving back in London, Sirius followed James off of the train. It had taken James about half the trip to calm down over the little encounter with Regulus earlier.

“I swear to Merin, I am going to have a long talk with mum and dad to see if they can get Y/n to break up with him. I don’t want Evan Rosier or any of those other trolls turning my lovely sister into a dark witch. It won’t happen. Nope. Won’t let it.”

Lily sighed. She was quickly getting sick of the awkwardness between James and yourself. Lily missed having you as a part of “the group.” It didn’t matter how many times that Lily, Dorcas, or Marlene begged you to come back (they even offered to invite Regulus too) to the group, you wouldn’t. You were still sweet as pie to them individually but it was as if the good feelings of friendship had vanished from everything.

“James, this has gone on long enough. You haven’t spoken to your sister in months. Like it or not, Y/n is still your sister and she’s happy. Can’t you just accept that?”

Lily asked in a pleading tone. James yanked his hand away before groaning and giving it back to Lily.

“How would you like it if Petunia dated Regulus?”

Lily smirked.

“We both know that won’t happen.”

“But what if?”

Lily sighed.

“I would try to be happy for her especially if she was happy.”

Lily replied, hoping that this would sway James. When he stopped walking and tilted his head to the side, both Lily and Sirius stopped too.

“Now I have fucking seen everything.”

James muttered as Lily and Sirius looked in the direction that James was staring in. You stood with Regulus talking to none other than Walburga and Orion Black. Sirius’ mouth dropped and had the sudden urge to run over and steal you with a shit-eating grin on his face. The cocky side was clearly present on Sirius' face but inside he was panicking. What if his mother tried to hurt you in front of all of these people? Would she be that bold? The better question was why the hell was she smiling and looking so...proud?

That was the last thing that Sirius ever expected to see on his mother’s face...a smile. She never smiled and if she did it was because she was making his life hell. Now here she stood talking to the daughter of who she considered “a blood traitor” smiling like an idiot as she talked away.

“I don’t believe this.”

Sirius commented. James nodded.

“Your mother knows how to smile. Of course, she is being nice since it's her little prince’s wish that she be kind to Y/n. If it was you, she would be throwing a raving tantrum.”

“Let's just go.”

Lily replied.

(meanwhile)

You stood talking to Walburga, who was being uncommonly kind to you. The moment that Regulus introduced you as his girlfriend she commented on what a pretty girl that you were and how she was pleased to see that her youngest son found such a nice girl. Even Orion commented on how nice you appeared to be and that they would be delighted for you to come to their family’s Christmas party.

“Y/n, there you are, sweetheart.”

You turned upon hearing your mother’s sweet voice. Walburga’s smile faded and the cold woman that Sirius described returned. Clearly, she was still fuming at your mother for “stealing her eldest son away.”

“Hi, mum.”

You said before hugging your mother than father. Your mother meanwhile, focused her attention on Walburga. She had noticed how Regulus’ quickly looked down at his feet and the sudden urge to try to take the youngest Black brother in returned full force.

“Walburga.”

She said in her pleasant casual tone. Walburga scowled as Orion reached down and grabbed her hand.

“Euphemia.”

She replied, coldly. Euphemia smiled as she watched you gently pet Regulus’ hand obviously trying to provide him some kind of comfort.

That’s my sweet girl.

Euphemia thought with a smile as she turned her attention back to Walburga.

“It seems that our children have taken a fancy for each other.”

Walburga nodded.

“Indeed. While you are here, Euphemia, I find this a fine opportunity to let you know that Regulus wishes for Y/n to come to our family’s Christmas party on the 23rd. We would love to have her.”

Euphemia’s normally kind smile faded and was suddenly replaced by a fearful one. Your mother reminded you of an overprotective mama bear that had been backed into a corner by some predator that wanted to eat her baby.

It was Regulus that spoke next. He quickly turned to Euphemia before his mother was able to speak.

“Mrs. Potter, may I speak with you alone?”

Euphemia nodded and followed Regulus a few feet away so she was out of earshot of Walburga and Orion.

“Yes, dear?”

Euphemia started as Regulus glanced over his shoulder. Walburga was giving him a questioning stare. He gave his mother a scowl until she turned back to you to start chatting again. Regulus had to thank Sirius for running away at the moment. Had he not bailed off, Regulus probably would have never been able to get Walburga under his thumb the way that he had. Now, if he wanted something, he would just tell his mother and she made it happen. If Regulus wanted a new broom….mother made it happen. A nice chocolate cake..all he had to say was how hungry he was. No longer did Walburga find using the cruciatus curse on “her baby” acceptable in the slightest. Regulus was the only heir that she had and he knew that she was aware of it.

“I know that you don’t trust my family, Mrs. Potter...and with good reason. I won’t let any harm come to Y/n. My mother has changed since you spoke with her last. I know how to control her and my father well. I love Y/n and I wouldn’t let anything happen to her.”

Euphemia gave Regulus a sad mother-like expression.

“I’m sure that you do, dear but I am afraid that my daughter won’t receive the same kind of care that she receives at home.”

Regulus looked down. He was silent for a moment as he decided upon his next move. Being “himself” probably wasn’t going to work. Maybe being pitiful would work in his favor?

“I understand your worry, Mrs. Potter. All that I am asking for is a chance. If anything bad starts...I promise to get her out of there right away.”

Euphemia couldn’t help but think of how Regulus reminded her of a puppy that had been kicked one too many times.

“I’ll think about it.”

She finally replied. This made Regulus give her a small smile.

“Thank you.”

Returning back to where Walburga and Orion stood watching like hawks, Euphemia gave the other mother a small nod.

“I’ll think about if Y/n will be able to come. We’ll have an answer for you by the end of the week.”

Walburga nodded, clearly surprised with whatever Regulus had “done.” She was expecting to have to find some secretive way to get you to be able to come. If Regulus wanted his girlfriend at the party then she would find a way to get you there.

“Very well.”

Euphemia turned back to you with a sweet smile.

“Sweetheart, we need to be going. Your father is probably ready to go.”

You nodded before turning back to Regulus. This was the moment that you were dreading. You didn’t want to say goodbye for a few weeks. Since the two of you started dating, you hadn’t had many moments apart. Now here were a few weeks with no promise that your mother would even consider letting you go to the Black family’s home for the party.

“I’ll see you soon.”

Regulus softly said as his parents turned away to give the two of you a moment of privacy. What Regulus didn’t see was Walburga was watching the whole thing out of the corner of her eye. She couldn’t help but smile at how gentle Regulus seemed to be with you. The expression on his face was so different from the “Black family scowl” that he wore so well.

You, meanwhile, nodded as Regulus gently tilted your face to his before leaning down and giving you a soft kiss.

“I’ll miss you.”

You whispered. Regulus smiled.

“It's only a few weeks. I’ll write to you every day.”

You felt better with that promise before turning and going to join your mother. Euphemia wrapped her arm around your shoulder before guiding you off in the direction of your father and brother.

Over the next few days, both Euphemia and Fleamont realized how truly broken your relationship with James seemed to be. Both mother and father attempted to talk to James about how his behavior was appalling and that he needed to be a “big brother” and support you. James, however, wasn’t receptive.

“You are going to regret losing this year with Y/n, James. You will be graduating Hogwarts in a few months and will not see Y/n every day.”

Euphemia tried. James sat with his arms crossed over his chest as Fleamont decided to try his turn.

“Your mother is right, son. You have been so close with Y/n from the day that she was born. Do you really want to risk losing this closeness over a boy?”

James finally decided to speak. Sure, his parents were right. He was losing a lot of time with you and he knew it but that didn’t mean that he had to be happy about the relationship.

“I don’t like that boy and he will do nothing but hurt her. I want no part in witnessing it. Maybe you should talk to Y/n about birth control because all those two do is snog.”

James decided to at least leave out the fact that he was aware that you had given Regulus your v-card. He figured that his parents could put that part together themselves. Judging by how both Euphemia and Fleamont seemed surprised over said snogging, they would probably die knowing that their only daughter had her legs spread for a boy already. James wasn’t sure if he could even get the words out to tell them. Maybe some things were better left unsaid?

(2 days later)

You sat on the couch watching the muggle television that your father decided to purchase. It had been two days and you had already received four letters from Regulus. He seemed to be missing you as much as you were missing him. You smiled down at the latest letter on your lap where Regulus was fussing about his mother driving him nuts over a new suit for the Christmas party.

“Y/n, sweetheart?”

You looked up as Euphemia walked into the room.

“Hi, mum.”

You replied as she sat down beside you. She picked up the remote and pointed it to the TV (backward) to turn it off. You watched with a smile as she fussed over the remote before reaching out and showing her what to do.

“I hate this silly thing. I think that I am too old to be learning about these new things.”

Euphemia started as she looked at you carefully. She had been planning this talk since her conversation with James. It was going to be difficult for sure but certain things needed to be said before she became a grandmother earlier than planned.

“I think that we needed to have a mummy and daughter talk.”

You nodded, having a weird feeling about where this was going.

“Okay.”

Euphemia took a few breaths before speaking.

“It seems that Regulus is really taken with you.”

You nodded, twisting the ring that he had given you months ago. How were you supposed to tell your old fashioned mother that you were madly in love with the boy and felt like you were dying without him? The better question was when did you turn into such a lovesick “Mary Sue?”

“I love him, mother.”

Euphemia couldn’t help but smile.

“He told me that he loves you too. As your mum, I have a few things that I would like to say about that. First, I am thrilled that you are so happy. Your happiness is very important to your father and I. The two of you are darling together. This Christmas party...is it important to you?”

You decided to seize this moment to get what you wanted.

“It is. Mum, I know that you are worried about Mrs. Black and I totally understand why. I am still bothered at how Sirius was when he came to us...you know how much I love Sirius. I love him just as I do James. I don’t, however, think that Regulus would let her nor anyone else harm me.”

Euphemia sighed. This was harder than she expected. As much as she wanted you to be happy not worrying about Walburga wasn’t something that she could just “turn off.”

“Your father and I have decided to let you go. I suppose that we should find you a new dress to wear. We can go shopping tomorrow if you would like?”

You almost jumped off of the couch with this little bit of information. Never in a million years, did you expect your mum and dad to agree to let you go. You had a bad feeling that they were going to say no (especially when James and Sirius put in their input).

“Really? Mum, thank you so much! I would love for us to go shopping together.”

Euphemia reached out and took your hand into hers. She ran her thumb over each of your knuckles.

“I noticed that Regulus has your locket around his neck.”

You blushed at that before holding your left hand out that had his ring on it. “We kind of traded.”

Euphemia wanted to cry at the sight of the Black family ring on your hand. Maybe this relationship was a lot more serious than she expected? Possibly, Regulus was the one? Euphemia suddenly had the feeling that she and Walburga would be dealing with each other for the rest of their natural lives.

“Your father and I did something like that when we started dating. Y/n, this is going to be the awkward part for both of us. I realize now how serious this relationship is. Maybe we should consider putting you on some form of birth control.”

You winced.

“Mum…”

Euphemia shook her head.

“Let me finish. Y/n, I’m old. I’ve been around for a while and know how hormones work. I am only wanting to protect you. You are a very responsible girl but if the two of you should want to sleep together...I want to make sure that you are safe.”

You blushed, knowing the next statement was going to be a real shock for Euphemia to hear.

“We did use something.”

Euphemia’s face went pale upon hearing that. She blinked a few times before fanning her face.

“Already? You used something?”

You closed your eyes nodding.

“Yes, mum. There are spells...all kinds of charms but if you want to go to your...your….”

Why was it so awkward to talk to your mother about sex? Maybe it was because the two of you had never really had this kind of conversation before? Sure, there was the initial talk about “how sex” happened and that was painful enough. Both James and yourself were wincing and blushing the whole time. It was as painful for Fleamont and Euphemia as it was for their children.

“Gynecologist?”

Euphemia finished your sentence as you blushed harder. You could only nod as your mother considered her next sentence.

“Yes, Y/n. I think that is a good idea. For the time being, let’s keep this between us. There are some things that your father and brother don’t need to know.”

_______

@amelie-black @truly-insatiable @fandomsxxregulus @exhsle @quuenofblacks @spiderxalmighty @whymyparentscheckmyphone @teletubiswszpilkach @fific7 @criminalyetminimal @bennyberry @jessyballet @knreidy1 @hazncalsgal @acciosiriusblack @lucasfilms77 @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @fandom-trash-worth-it @hankypranky @summer-novak @li0nh34rt @tas898 @shaylybaby2032 @emiwrites3reads @shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @knight-of-gleefulness @marichromatic @stuckinsaudi1 @untoldshortsofthefandoms @sprnaturallover @deanwherescas @wontlookaway @shitfaceddaniel @mycuddlycorner