#i want to mcfuckin kill myself

[criscura]

I posted 7,555 times in 2022

That's 6,923 more posts than 2021!

50 posts created (1%)

7,505 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@grimbiliah

@one-trash-alek

@youkaichick

@saipng

@unfortunatelycake

I tagged 849 of my posts in 2022

#one punch man - 27 posts

#opm - 25 posts

#one punch - 25 posts

#genos - 25 posts

#precious robot baby - 20 posts

#saitama - 19 posts

#yeah - 17 posts

#saigenos - 16 posts

#genosai - 13 posts

#egg on legs - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i need to actually word vomit my thoughts about this but it will be an unhinged rant and i'm vaguely embarrassed about how long it would be

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

See the full post

100 notes - Posted March 17, 2022

#4

Genos as Edward Scissorhands, huh... Genos as the lonely scary Someone out on the outskirts of society who has trouble getting close to people because his hands are weapons, h uh.... Genos as the guy who constantly does acts of service because otherwise people are intimidated by him and he doesn't know how else to justify his being there or make sure he isn't kicked out hUH..... Genos as the guy who's constantly nursing a deep hurt over losing his family h u Hhhjjgfjj

113 notes - Posted October 19, 2022

#3

Gosh........ I really am REELING though.......... Like--LIKE---

"I'd destroy worlds for you"

"I love you to the moon and back"

"nothing matters if you aren't there"

"heroes will sacrifice love for the world but villains will sacrifice the world for love"

"I want to hold you close to my chest and never let go"

"I'd move stars for you"

"you're the best part of me"

"I'll kill anyone who hurts you"

"you're the light of my life"

"you keep me grounded when I start to lose myself"

HOW MANY MORE FUCKING CLICHES CAN YOU GET!!!!! Like FUCK I ***completely*** understand that this is magnificently unheroic of Saitama, but it's so fucking human too, and HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU NOT SUPPOSED TO READ THIS ROMANTICALLY OH MY FUCKING???? GOSH??????

WHEN THIS IS RELEASED ON TANABATA??????

***WHEN WE JUST GOT THE CORE TOUCHING SCENE OH MY FUCKING GOSH****

I'm gonna lose it. I'm gonna mcfuckin lose it. I want my boy back. I want sweet egg back. I want HAPPY and DOMESTIC but holy HEEELLLL this is romantic GOOOLLDD

Aw geeze, all the mythological and religious implications too.........I have so much to think about 😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😭😭😭😭😭❤️😭❤️😭😭

336 notes - Posted July 7, 2022

#2

BEHOLD

A GOOD BOY

565 notes - Posted September 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

please take this i cannot BELIEVE what we've gotten over the last few chapters oh my fucking goooSSSHH

1,565 notes - Posted July 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[sevenmothz]

finished rebirth and just like with remake i am left confused and wanting lmao

the glitch-up for aerith’s death was so weird and anti-climatic and then the fight following it was so weird and anti-climatic bahahaha. multiverse fuckery always be crazy.

also the sephiroth reborn fight was Heinous since my dumbass didn’t fully equip yuffie, barret, and red with more elemental materia, so taking out his stupid wings took so much longer than needed. plus that attack he does after that takes everyone down to 1 HP killed me like 2 or 3 times. Dx like damn bitch i’m playing on easy why you doing me like this?

anyway, other than getting burnt out on the mini-games (sorry game devs, i just don’t like most mini-games in general), i did generally enjoy rebirth. unfortunately, it came out while i was very preoccupied with writing an unrelated fanfic, so i just didn’t give this game the attention i usually would. v.v;

maybe once i’m finished writing i’ll give rebirth a replay (hopefully the bugged sidequest i can’t finish will be patched by then and there will be plenty of guides for hard mode).

looking forward to the final game in the trilogy! looking forward to my boy cloud hitting rockbottom and properly losing his mcfuckin mind. xD

now off to find videos on the other dates you can have at the gold saucer because i’m too impatient to replay chapters 8 and 12 myself bahaha.

[mantis--hymn]

tfw when you lose motivation for doing something you love the most, especially when it comforts you in the darkest times and now you feel emotionless whenever you do it

[deqdyke]

Can't read more so 🤷

TW: self harm

Don't read the tags if I know u irl?

[captainsupernoodle]

Weekend Reads

Oxytocin by Asuka Kureru - WIP, Bleach, 25k, M

Complete trust and physical affection are great!

They're a bit less great when they were caused by weird hollow drugs.

They're even less great when the guy who was drugged up into loving the hell out of you is the same guy who tried to murder you a couple times a couple years ago.

my mcfuckin favorite bleach fic bc i eat up physical affection and trust dynamics with a spoon. other favorite things: well-written orihime and karakura team dynamics, pov switches that just add layers and layers to the miscommunications, affection-starved person actually gets genuine affection (even if the circumstances make it weird for everyone), an utterly unexpected orihime-grimmjow dynamic that makes perfect sense for both of them. It updates slowly but what's there already is so worth it.

Whatever else you are, you are also mine by silverseed, oneshot, SVSSS, 1k, T

“Answer! Why did you put yourself between an attack and this king?”

“Because I want to kill you myself.”

Shang Qinghua is a creature of spite and resentment. He hates Mobei Jun, he hates his sect and he hates being shackled to both.

(Shang Qinghua is a very skilled liar, but when his attention is split between desperately lying to himself and trying not to pass out from blood loss, he might accidentally let slip some truths)

i really don't know what i can say other than what's in the description. amazing OG SQH dynamics. those first two lines??? like! premium moshang! premium relationship dynamic! they somehow have the same communication problems of svsss moshang but in the opposite direction

the view from here by ritualist - oneshot, svsss, 6k, T

The first clue Shang Qinghua has about his problem is that he wakes up feeling comfortable.

A very cool use of bodyswapping that digs into some of the species differences that drive moshang miscommunication

manage me (i'm a mess) by technically_direct - completed longfic, Marvel: Venom, 100k, E

The thing about Eddie, right, is that he's kinda an enormous fuckup. And it's starting to catch up to him a bit.

For real, the BEST thing to happen in those six months after he and Anne broke up was getting an alien parasite, and that was accounting for the whole 'it was eating his organs' thing.

eddie is Messed Up but they make it work :) a lovely friendship with Dan and Anne, a snappy and very dry funny tone, and learning to lean on each other!

[palettes-and-prompts]

Some Friends to Lovers Prompts for Anon

Dialogue Prompts for Friends to Lovers

1) "We're just friends! We just hang out a lot and are really similar and we just understand each other better than anyone else. It's not like that." 2) "I just don't think this person's right for you, you should date someone better, someone who gets you, someone like-" "You?" 3) "I don't know if I can just be friends with you anymore." 4) "Why are you being so secretive all the time?" "Can we please go somewhere quiet?" "No, whatever you have to say to me you can say in front of everyone here." "I'm in love with you! I'm in love with you and I've been in love with you and so I've been avoiding you because I didn't know how to say it and I didn't want to lose you and I just wanted to do this privately." "Let's go somewhere else to talk." 5) "Why did you wait to tell me this? I'm about to leave for a trip I didn't even want to go on because you made it seem like you wanted me to go." "I don't want you to go. I don't want you to go but I want you to do what you want to do, not what I want you to do. So what do you want to do?" "I wanna stay here with you." 6) "You were right, you were right about everything, I'm in love with Person B and I don't know what to do. Should I just pretend? Should I tell them?" "You just did. I was gonna tell you I put you on speaker so you could say hi to everyone but you jut kept talking." "Goddamn it, Person C!" "Person B says you should call them." 7) "I know I'm not good at this whole emotion stuff but I like you. I've got some issues I need to work on, but having you along with me just makes me fee better. I feel better when I'm with you." "I like you too." 8) "I'm in love with you." "You can't keep saying that every time I put extra Mcnuggets in your bag." "No, this time I'm serious. You're my best friend and I'm in love with you." "I'm not giving you a Mcflurry too." "No! I mean it." "Like, for real?" "I'm Mcfuckin serious right now." "I'll take my break early, just sit over there for a bit. If you're just joking I'm going to kill you." 9) "You're the first person I think of when I wake up and the last person I think about before bed. I'm in love with you." 10) "I don't think I want us to just be friends." 11) "I love you." "Aww, I love you too, you're my best friend in the whole-" "No. No, I-I'm in love with you." "What?" 12) "I think I'm in love with you." "Yeah, that's obvious." "What? It is?" "Yeah, but I love you too." 13) "I like you, and I know we're best friends and I know it's weird but I can't stop thinking about you." 14) "You can't go out with Person C. They're fucking boring and unfunny and you need someone to make you laugh and I always make you laugh so hard you your drink shoots out your nose. But it doesn't even gross me out because you're so cute. And like, they don't even get all the jokes you make. They're fuckin' lame and they don't even make you smile and you have a great smile. You shouldn't date them, you should date me instead." 15) "Is it weird I kind of want to kiss you right now?" "Is it weird I kind of want you to?" 16) "What if this ruins our friendship?" "Then we'll stop being friends." "We can't stop being friends just because of a game of Uno." "What if afterwards you don't wanna be friends and you wanna be more than friends." "This would have to be the most seductive game of Uno for that to happen." "Should I take my pants off then?" "Shut up and shuffle the cards." 17) "Hey, what's your Netflix password?" "I'm in love with you." "Is that a capital I or?" 18) "You know, we've been roommates for a long time and I've grown used to waking up to you in the morning. So much so that I can't really picture myself living with anyone else so I was wondering if maybe you and I could-" "Adopt a dog together?!" "I was gonna say try dating." "Oh! Well...can we get the dog too?" 19) "Is that my shirt?" "Yeah, I borrowed it, is that okay?" "Yeah, I...you just look good in it." "You should see how I look out of it." 20) "I'm not in love with them. I just think about them a lot because they're my friend. And I worry and about them because I care about their safety and wanna know if they're alright. I wanna be there for them for the rest of my life and it's just not like that. It sounds like it is but it's not. We're just friends."

Regular Prompts for Friends to Lovers

1) A and B are best friends but their relationship is strained when A starts dating C. At first B thinks they're just upset they don't get to spend as much time together, but when they all spend, including C. They realize they don't like seeing A and C together and what they're feeling isn't a loss of a friend, it's jealousy. 2) A has a thing for their best friend B and it's obvious to everyone but B. They decide to set them both up for a blind date and when they get there they think it's a double date C set up but when the "other dates" never show up they have dinner together and start to think they don't mind having dinner with them." 3) A has never wanted kids so when they, along with their best friend B are asked by C to watch their kids for a few weeks they don't really want to. But by the end of it they're used to it all and have grown to like the idea of having kids, but they realize they've only ever wanted to have kids with B and no one they've ever previously dated. (Bonus if B loves kids already and has always wanted them.) 4) A and B are trapped in a house by "crazy killers" and when they start coming in looking as if they're going to kill them A admits they've always loved B and that if they're going to die they at least wanted to say it. After A confesses the lights turn on and the people take off the masks, revealing themselves to be A and B's friends. (Bonus if B is dating A's best friend and they're one of the "killers" or B set the whole thing up because A's never been scared before.) *This probably works best for Halloween or October but whatever. 5) A's been trying to tell B about their feelings but keeps getting interrupted but when they get stuck at the top of the ferris wheel together they're interrupted one last time by B admitting their feelings for A. (Bonus if B's terrified of heights so they only do it because they think they might die.) 6) A's in the hospital and B is told by C that A's in a coma. B walks in seeing A hooked up to everything and they just break down and start confessing to them right there on the spot. A then proceeds to say, "I love you too but shut the fuck up, I'm trying to sleep." That's how B finds out C lied about the coma. (Bonus if A's in the hospital because they just forgot to eat properly like a person.) 7) A is getting married, not to Person B but B's best friend C. Before A's ceremony B confesses everything to them and tells them that they can't watch them marry someone else but they'll be at the reception to congratulate them and give their best man/maid of honor speech. (Bonus if A or C run out to confront B.) 8) A has a huge crush on B and B only finds out because they they go through A's spotify they have a private playlist of nothing but love songs dedicated to them. (Bonus if B decides to make one and send it to A and they'e all the love songs A reminds them of.) 9) A gets drunk and calls their friend and confesses their feelings for B. (Bonus if B's name in their phone and their friends name are similar or nicknamed similarly so they call B instead.) 10) A is practicing telling B they're in love with them but when they say "I'm in love with you" in a dark room they say it to person C instead. And when Person C says it back they don't have the heart to tell them they didn't mean it. (Bonus if they end up actually falling for C anyway.)

[mad-madam-m]

Top 5 favorite moments from "Gargoyles"

You’re going to make me choose favorite moments?? Not even favorite episodes, but favorite moments?! Gosh, this is cruel and unusual punishment.

In no particular order:

1. Puck’s first appearance

Look, I did not expect to love Puck as much as I did, but he was on screen for about five seconds and, well, here we are. I’d been looking forward to his first appearance since before I even started watching the show, and it did not disappoint in the least. I loved watching him deal with Demona, especially his gleeful realization that he was going to be able to cause so much mayhem.

2. “I’m afraid, my lord, there’s one nuisance left.”

Y’all I mcfuckin’ SCREAMED when Owen showed back up at the castle during the fight with Oberon. I’d been waiting for the reveal that he was Puck for ages and, as before, the show didn’t disappoint in the least. Owen’s obvious reluctance to return but doing it anyway, the transformation, and Puck’s explanation with visual aids are all absolutely stellar and I have feelings.

3. Hudson vs. Xanatos

I went majorly in depth on this episode and, in fact, this scene in particular already, so I won’t repeat myself too much here, but the end of The Price is one of my favorite scenes in the series. The way Hudson surprises and overpowers Owen, Xanatos, and the Steel Clan robot, Hudson’s refusal to destroy the Cauldron of Life, his comments about Xanatos’s legacy, Xanatos just letting him go...it’s all so freaking great. Hudson is really the only one of the gargoyles who can get under Xanatos’s skin in that particular way.

4. “No, no, not now!”

The fact that most of my favorite scenes involve Puck should surprise precisely none of you. But seriously, I have watched the last ~2 minutes of Future Tense something like, oh...20-30 times now? And not just because I was making this gif, but because it just kills me how badly Puck wants to stay. He’s literally seconds away from getting out of The Gathering, and mucks it up because he’s too eager and Goliath gets suspicious. Watching this, knowing that he’s Owen, knowing that he’s going to all these lengths to stay with Xanatos? Just rip my heart out; I wasn’t using it anyway.

5. Xanatos & Elisa

This is another scene I’ve discussed at length, so again I’ll try not to repeat myself too much. Suffice it to say that I love how Elisa---who hates Xanatos, who has been trying to arrest him for most of the series and in fact, most of this episode---doesn’t push away when he offers her comfort here. And it’s genuine comfort! Xanatos probably the only other person who knows what it means to lose Goliath, and he’s truly sorrowful about it. It’s just such a good scene for both of them and it’s planting the seeds for them becoming reluctant allies and maybe, eventually, actual friends.

+1 Owen being badass

I got nothing else to say about it; it’s just frigging great watching Owen casually kick this guy’s ass.

(ask me my top 5 anything!)

[villalunae]

aside from the fact that im probably gonna flunk this math quiz on monday because my boss died and ive been working every other day effectively taking me out of commission for the next due to crippling anxiety and the fact that i fucking hate math and the dress ive made is slightly too big and im gonna get points off because my mom insisted on cutting it to the largest size even tho we BOTH know im a size zero on a bad day my week has been goin great wbu 

[prairiedust]

Gimme Shelter livewatch under the cut.... I was on my phone when I wrote it so apologies for the typos

“Patchwork Community Center: Care Given to All” with a huge, lurid heart. Hmmm.... patchwork having two meanings here.....

Pastor (?) has 2 Timothy 2:22 tattooed on his arm! “Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” (NIV) Are we looking at growth and found family in this episode?!?

Oh that’s the alleyway!

Hitting mythology themes— Connor is an Anglicized version of an Irish name— Conchobar mac Nessa is maybe the most famous bearer of the name, from Irish mythology— he’s the king who lusted after Deirdre and had her locked up until she came of age, which is probably neither here nor there as far as this poor Connor is concerned...

That thing has a big lurid heart on his overalls better run lol— Oh shit it’s an evil Teddy Ruxpin!!!! Thanks Davy Perez!!!!

That’s the thing animal control uses to manage aggressive animals??? Is this saying something about the Patchwork people?

And that’s it for the cold open.

——

The uh, the mcfuckin what, the Camelot Palace Casino? Is this a tour of the legends of Ireland and Britain all of a sudden? What’s with hitting this theme so hard so fast?

Uh-oh the whole Highway to Heaven reference has me side-eyeing Dean’s suggestion for Cas snd Jack to leave the bunker... Dabb even “spoiled” that line in a tweet lol... in that show the cop and the angel got their (vague) assignments from the big guy.......

Oh SHIT “we’re standing in what I call ‘the trap zone’” Perez is coming for my whole life with this episode!!!! And they’re doing highkey “season one totally-normal Winchester investigation questions script” I love it!!!!

“Slasher flick” Oh we’re revisiting Mint Condition. This is fine.

AND TOMBSTONE THIS IS NOT FINE DAVY! We’re running the good times backwards what did I say about this being the flipside of Last Holiday!

H2H again but this time it’s sus... plus I’m with Zack, I totally want the cozy murder spinoff I imagined Adam and Michael doing plz

Oh the Cas and Jack dynamic here is so sweet.

Pastor just leaving his door open like there’s no such thing as a thief bless his heart. They must be torn up about Connor but Pastor was the last one to talk to him so he’s sus I don’t make the rules.

Oh no Red’s a THIEF!!! Who ever would have guessed. Okay I did NOT expect that jumpscare because of the way Connor’s murder primed me, that was masterfully done.

That’s vaguely an Ohio Star quilt square on the sign behind her except um I forget what that tilted square in the center turns it into? It’s chiming with something... I’ll have to look that up later.

“Divide and conquer” no never split up in a slasher movie that’s how you get murders use the buddy system!

Gonna stop a sec because I just realized that Zack is two-faced. The British dandy was an act. The killer is wearing a Cinderella mask. Ok I’m gonna make a prediction that Zack is actually the killer, a la the demon in Repo Man...

Okay there was definitely a beat after Dean said “Glad soneone’s taking charge” [ofHell] and the focus shifted to Sam. Hm.

“We’ve got to set her up for her own death” so meta, these writers are gonna shred us.

I love being shown how much Castiel has changed throughe Jack not understanding the Kool-Aid reference. And the cats line lol. That’s both amazing and poignant.

That’s a log cabin pattern in the cafeteria. Home. Makes me think back on other quilts we’ve seen this season and if “weaving” is the right metaphor for writing lol. I mean, the action of “patching” is synonymous with “mending” or even healing, but patchwork is also a craft with a long, long history in America (idk if quiltmaking is called patchwork everywhere) of taking a few often mismatched fabrics and cutting and sewing into something beautiful. There are generally two kinds of quilt tops— patterns, like we’ve seen so far in this season, which are carefully planned and involve precise measurements, and “crazy quilts” which also require skill but are often more freeform and piecemeal. But both aspire to be beautiful. That’s an interesting way to conceptualize a serial text... as both creating and mending....

That prayer was sweet and not at all what I was expecting.

I get the finger-cutting for Valerie (stealing=sticky fingers) but not for Connor? Tenuous connection still betw lying and writing? It’s evocative of Se7en but the killer seems to have the same MO for all the killings (I attended CSI for a while.)

Snow White is making me uneasy. Oh she’s the preacher’s daughter... we’ve seen that in early days, too.... oh.... oh....

It’s not the AV guy despite having seen all the AV equipment around Valerie. That’s too easy.

“A saint is a sinner who keeps trying-“ no scroll back, the important part was “we all have to take care of each other.” That’s a theme in the series.

She’s all in pink....

dean and amara on the same wavelength about food lol

Ha ha inversion of “oh you’re a fan of religion? name all seven gods then.”

Castiel’s testimony just wrecked me.

“Members serve the gift of food” hmmm the signs in this episode are tip-top

Gonna just watch for a while.

Oh crap “each is a finger” oh it’s about the sins of the father— No Cas no, you’ve fallen for the misdirection!

Oh okay good, Chuck’s not done snuffing worlds. That had me REALLY WORKED UP ha ha because Amara has no reason to lie right?

That was a really good conversation.... and implying that Former Death bent the truth...

Oh fuck I’m gonna cry “I wanted younto see that your mother was just a person” YES! DISMANTLE THIS MYTHOLOGY AMARA!!! Name it!

THE MYTH THAT YOU’D HELD ON TO FOR SO LONG did they just— THEY DID

rigging the game— ftfoh with the casino metaphors already we know the house always wins except when it doesn’t

Lying, lying, lying,

Do we even know Snow White’s name yet? And why was Connor a liar? Because I think we can make a guess at this point.... ah ha ha her name is sylvia— “forest spirit” she’s Mrs Butters— and she’s after hypocrites— but the killing isn’t supernatural, just churchy?

Oh shit SHE IS A DEAN MIRROR IF SHE STABS JACK I’LL FLIP A DAMN TABLE

....

....

prairiedust.exe has encountered an error and must be restarted

....

....

Okay so “Dad” steps in and stops Sylvia’s attack on Jack...

Why is that Zack? What????

“I’ve been lying to you” oh here we go

Oh it would be death #3, remember what Dabb said about threes a long time ago, two attempts that are unsuccessful and one that satisfies the parameters— but no he’s a jack :((((

I have to stop watching for a while.

Okay I finished it. Holy cats do I have some Thoughts about this episode.

What I loved: Revisiting Dean’s anger, BUT the parental mirror here (in retrospect, at least for me) was a John mirror-- all the mothers (exc for Rowena) in this episode are dead. And Pastor Joe didn’t apparently embrace his wife’s faith until she had died, and then his vision was radically different than his wife’s was-- much like John’s reasons for becoming a hunter were vastly different from Mary’s... but much like “patching” this subtext was possibly even more “healing” than having John back in the 300th ep... This was... looking at a child’s anger when they’re in the middle of their own family mythology. Am I implying that Dean’s anger is immaturity? Eh, it’s... unripeness. I have an old meta in my drafts about the heroine’s journey and why Mary’s story conformed to it while feeling totally unfulfilling in her actual character arc and I’m so glad I sat down and examined that rather than finish it. I have a lot I want to say about Cas’ testimony too, but that has to sit a while. ALSO also, Cas has already thrown away his shot by making the Empty deal, right?....

LANGUAGE! Cas saying “I found myself lost” is a bonkers sentence, right? It’s like when people say someone “turned up missing”-- AND it does not have the same meaning as “I realized I was lost”-- you get a double whammy of the connotation “to search for.” I loved loved loved how language was such a big deal in Last Holiday and then again here, I need to rewatch while paying closer attention to Sylvia and things she says... but these two were sister episodes in so many ways, that when I said there was a “lack of narrative mirrors” in Last Holiday, that’s only because the lens for that kind of reading is Gimme Shelter. That is not the first time spn has played with a “coin” or paired structure-- I think the first time I noticed it was Fan Fiction/Ask Jeeves but I was a transfer student from another fandom at the time lol. But of course, we get a huge truth bomb at the end of the episode, and again that splashy cymbal all over lying...

What I got wrong-- Zack wasn’t the killer but he’s fishy as hell-- he stole Sylvia! Is this part of Rowena’s “people generally end up where they deserve to be” except she’s built in an express lane? “Do you need a driver” is that his actual job now? Taking unripe souls to Hell Orientation? What’s up with him being there... the other shoe did not drop. So there is a third episode out there somewhere where this might get wrapped up? The conversation between Dean and Cas can easily be something that happens offscreen, and I don’t think that it would be the first time we miss an “important” conversation, especially since we know roughly what will be said and how it will wrap up-- it’s an “open text” of a sort. Maybe a fanfiction gap lol, I can’t wait for the codas.

Also, the fingers thing being Sylvia’s father’s favorite analogy is where she got her MO, something that I definitely didn’t see, although it fits right in with her father’s slightly pithy character. I think it’s interesting again how we’re playing with threes and fours. Three fingers got cut off but it was apparent that Valerie (valorious one) wouldn’t die until finger #4.... Jack really seems to be our last hope.

[scaredofthebasement-blog]

When Love Walks In - Chpt 14

Chpt 14

Auston Awaits Procedure for New Breathing Tube and Struggles with Insecurity 

Warnings:  Cussing, Negative Self-Talk

1508 Words

It’s the night before Auston’s scheduled procedure to have his Ventilator removed and a new tube inserted; he’s barely able to sleep.  He’s praying that Dr Quinn will make an appearance.  

He can’t wait to see her, even if she is dating ‘That Doctor Dude.’ He can’t help himself; he yearns for her presence.  It’s as if every cell in his body has zeroed in on her.  

He finds himself staring across his bed at the cactus she gave him that sits on his window sill.  

He tries to reason:  

Just last week she thought enough about me to buy me a fucking gift, and now she’s ghosting me!  He’s baffled and frazzled.

I need to get speaking again so I can have a chance with her.  He figures.  

Then he remembers and starts spiralling:  

Oh, my fucking, fuck, fuck, fuck!  Fuck My Life!  What if my voice is all weird and creepy?  Oh my god!

I’m not who I was before!  I’ll never be who I was before.  Who is she kidding about fixing me?  Who am I kidding?  My throat is a god damn mess!  

Sure she might like me as a friend, but there’s no way she’s gonna want to go out with a guy who talks weird, especially when she’s got Doctor McFuckin’ Dreamy as the other option!  

Plus, I might not be able to play in the NHL again.  What use will I be?   She’s on another level.  I need to be on another level.  

Oh, my God!!!  Help Me!

Who am I anymore?  Who will I be?

He boils and re-boils all night.  Falling asleep and waking up to do it all again:  

Is she thinking about me now?  Not now I guess, cause she’s probably sleeping but you know what I mean…

What is she doing that is so god damn important that she couldn’t make the time for me?  

She gave me a gift.  She didn’t have to give me a gift.  She must like me. Right?

But where the hell has she been? If you like someone you go to see them?  You can’t stay away.  Right?

Oh, Fuck!  She doesn’t like me!  Of course, she doesn’t like me.  If she liked me, she would have made a point to come.

How can she even consider seeing someone else?  Can’t she feel the electricity between us?  She’s so damn smart, so why can’t she figure out that I could be in love with her and that she should just wait till I get better.

I would love her and treat her better than anyone else could ever.

Fine!  If she’s gonna go out with McDreamy, I’ll go out with another girl.  I’ll get a great girl.  I can find someone else who’s amazing!  There are tons of amazing women out there.  I should know, I’ve dated loads of them already…

But I DOOOOON’T want to date someone ELLLLLLLSE!  I have NO interest in anyone ELLLLLLLSE!!!!!!

Oh, My God!  

Then whatever this is, starts:

How am I going to function if she’s in love with that guy?

I’ll never get over her.  I’ll always compare every woman to her.  No one will stand a chance.  

Why now?  It sounds like she lived the life of a nun before meeting me.  Then I show up, and of all the fucking times to start dating, she picks NOW!  Holy Hell Cakes!  Who did I piss off in another life?

I must be revolting to her.  That must be it.  Of course I am!  I am nothing now.  I look like shit, and I am shit.

But maybe someone can show her some pics of me off the internet. I did look good before all this. She needs to know I can clean up. Someone needs to show her.  Ahhh…Alex!  Yes! Note to self. I’ll have to talk to Alex.

Wait!  

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Oh, Fuck Me!  If someone shows her me on the internet, then she’s gonna find out about all the women I’ve been with.  

Fuck ME!  Yup, that’s right, literally, too many Fucks for me!  Isn’t that right Matthews?!   She’ll be so turned off and could you blame her?

How could I get myself into this mess?  Oh man!  I seriously screwed myself…

Auston, mentally exhausted, finally falls asleep and stays asleep until Alex arrives around 8:30 am.

“It’s Pro Ceee Duure Day! Hey, Oz!  Excited to get rid of the Ven Til Lator and get the new tube?”  Alex sing-songs as she prances into the room to greet a sleepy Auston.

Auston thinks, I’m more excited that Dr Quinn might visit but just nods yes.  

He wants to tell Alex but keeps it to himself.  He keeps his eyes down remembering all the thoughts that ran through his mind last night. 

It’s so hard keeping everything inside. It’s too much for one person.  His feelings are starting to trickle to the surface.  

“Me too!”  Alex confirms as she moves to embrace Auston with a bearhug and a kiss on his cheek.

“Morning little bro. Did you sleep well?”  She asks as she starts to pull away from the embrace.

But Auston pulls her back into him.  Although it takes her off guard, she lets her hug linger till he’s ready to let go.  She ends the contact with an affectionate squeeze to his upper arms.  But sensing something is not right, Alex stays close and scans her brother’s face.  She sees tears welling up in his eyes and spilling down his cheeks.

“Oh no, Oz!  What’s the matter?” Alex pleads.

“Oz, tell me what’s wrong!” She begs him.

Auston just shrugs his shoulders as if to say he doesn’t know.

Alex grabs a tissue and dries Auston’s tears.

“Is it about the procedure today?  Should I tell the doctor?”  She tries to guess.

Auston nods emphatically - No!

“I’ve noticed you’ve been down this last week, Oz.  That’s not like you.  You know you can talk to me.  You can tell me anything.  You know that, right?  Hell, you’ve got me reading your private messages.  If you don’t talk to me, then please talk to someone that can help you.  Please!  You’ve been to hell.  You need to have someone help you deal.  We’ll chat after your procedure.  Okay? We’ll chat after.”  Alex assures.

Auston and Alex hear footsteps entering the doorway.  Auston’s head shoots up expectantly.  It’s Dr Wright, she’s wearing her surgery scrubs, and...she’s alone.

“Oh, Hello, Dr Wright”,  Alex announces calming her voice.

“Good Morning, Auston and Alex!   Well today's an exciting day.  Are you expecting your parents to see Auston off this morning?” Dr Wright asks.

“No.  Just me today”, Alex responds.  “Me and the Austonator.  Right, Auston?”  She jokes, tapping his arm, trying to lighten his mood.

Auston just stares ahead. Now he’s pissed.  Where is she?

“Oh that’s right, your parents went back to Arizona.  Sorry about that guys.  Slipped my mind.”  Dr Wright apologizes.

Auston grabs his writing board.  “Is Dr Quinn coming?”  He needs to ask.

“As a matter of fact, she informed me last night she is coming to see you.  Not sure when but she said if she wasn’t here when we were ready to start that we were to go ahead without her.”

“Lots of patients?” Auston writes, matter-of-factly.

“Who?  Dr Quinn?  Um, not sure, Auston.  Okay, so we’ll get you to the procedure room.  You’ll be happy to get rid of this machine, I bet, eh Auston?” Dr Wright asks.

Auston just stares.  He looks so sad.

Alex suddenly feels the urge to tell Auston that Dr Quinn has been at a conference most of the week but says nothing because she doesn’t want to give away that she called her. 

Then, tick tock

Hmmmm….Alex is thinking:

Wait…a minute!  What’s going on here?...Doctor Quinn?... Naw! No way...But...No!  No effing way!  Oh my god!...Yes effing way!  That’s it!  Ha!  What do you know?  My brother’s got a crush on his doctor.  Oh, Auston!  Tsk Tsk Tsk. Not good bro.  Not a good idea.  Dad’s gonna kill you.  

Now that she’s onto Auston, she notices that he looks like a little boy who lost his puppy; just sitting straight up on his bed and staring at the door.  She’s never seen him like this before.  Kind of breaks her heart.

Just then a team of attendants arrive in Auston’s room, help him lay down and transfer him to a stretcher.

Dr Wright tells Auston she’ll see him in a few minutes and leaves the room.

Alex steps up to the gurney to say good luck to her brother before he’s ushered away.  She kisses him on the head and says aloud, “Good Luck, Oz.  I’ll be here when you get back.  Then she bends over to whisper in his ear, “By the way, I love her too.  We’ll chat later.”

As he’s being wheeled away, Auston turns his head to look at his sister, Wha?  He mouths.

Alex shoots him a knowing wink and a loving smile.

[bigweldindustries]

Rules: Tag the person who tagged you, answer the questions and tag 20 people. tagged by rhys @rhysi. i love u rhys muah muah muah!!

1. How tall are you? 5′5 barefoot. i wear platform boots 95% of the time tho

2. What color and style is your hair? yknow what? i have no idea. vaguely blonde, maybe mouse? and style??????? i have no idea. i need a cut but im too scared to go to the barbers LMAO

3. What color are your eyes? grey...........

4. Do you wear glasses? i havent been to the (i cant think of the word so) eye doctor since 2013. currently no 

5. Do you wear braces? i have a permanent retainer!!!!!!

6. What is your fashion style? alternative, but in no identifiable style. black and red 85% of the time. 

7. Full name? axel, if you know my surname, you know. i tentatively use james as a middle name but fuck knows

8. When were you born? feburary 1st 2000 babey!!!!!!!!!

9. Where are you from and where do you live now? born in lambeth, but i’ve live in the shitty south london outskirts all my life lmao

10. What school do you go to? i go to uni now motherfucker

11. What kind of student are you? s i l e n t . i do my work, i pass, im the only person who ever shows up to math tutorials out of all 48 students in my class. yeet

12. Do you like school? up til sixth form, yeah, it was great. post 16 killed me. i am however quite enjoying uni even if i dont like group work lmao

13. What are your favorite school subjects? oh man i hated most things. in sixth form i studied maths, physics, and computer science; i hated english lit/language, hated geography, and i hated art, which were my gcse subjects. computer science was always my favourite, maths was okay, and physics i could jive with, but sixth form sucked the soul out of me and so i ended up detesting most of them

14. Favorite TV shows? i’m normie af; if i’m watching TV it’s almost always The Amazing World Of Gumball, Always Sunny, or Brooklyn 99.

16. Favorite books? the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy series........

17. Favourite past-time? fuck knows.......i like just kind of wandering by myself tbh. i get random buses and go random places lmao

18. Do you have any regrets? fuck kinda question is this

19. Dream job? FUTURE TECH!! that’s why i’m studying cybernetics! someday i’m gonna work on all kinds of crazy future technologies and be the wild ass inventor of my fuckin dreams

20. Would you like to get married? i have serious commitment issues and also my autistic ass can’t quite wrap my head around why its quite so desirable outside of tax benefits tbh

21. Would you like to have kids someday? nope. nada. i cannot look after myself, and i dont mean that in a ‘haha im a manchild’ way, i mean that in a i have physical and mental disabilities which mean i cannot function by myself, let alone look after a child

22. How many? fuck off

23. Do you like shopping? im always buying shit! my side hustle is buying things to sell, whether they be broken things i fix or just something i snagged cheap i can get more for. i never buy anything new, though.

24. What countries have you visited? france and belgium!

25. What’s the scariest nightmare you’ve ever had? no.

26. Do you have any enemies? im a beacon of salt and i have a shitlist, but no actual ‘enemies’ as such lmfao

27. Do you have a s/o? nah!! 

28. Do you believe in miracles? who fuckin kn o w s man like shits wild 

im gonna tag uuuhhh @agentvicinity @quetzalpapalotl @thatswhyhesprime and uh....who ever else wants to do it!! im mcfuckin tired i cant think of people >:U as ever if yall don’t wanna do it either no worries no pressure!!!!

[criscura]

Gosh........ I really am REELING though.......... Like--LIKE---

"I'd destroy worlds for you"

"I love you to the moon and back"

"nothing matters if you aren't there"

"heroes will sacrifice love for the world but villains will sacrifice the world for love"

"I want to hold you close to my chest and never let go"

"I'd move stars for you"

"you're the best part of me"

"I'll kill anyone who hurts you"

"you're the light of my life"

"you keep me grounded when I start to lose myself"

HOW MANY MORE FUCKING CLICHES CAN YOU GET!!!!! Like FUCK I ***completely*** understand that this is magnificently unheroic of Saitama, but it's so fucking human too, and HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU NOT SUPPOSED TO READ THIS ROMANTICALLY OH MY FUCKING???? GOSH??????

WHEN THIS IS RELEASED ON TANABATA??????

***WHEN WE JUST GOT THE CORE TOUCHING SCENE OH MY FUCKING GOSH****

I'm gonna lose it. I'm gonna mcfuckin lose it. I want my boy back. I want sweet egg back. I want HAPPY and DOMESTIC but holy HEEELLLL this is romantic GOOOLLDD

Aw geeze, all the mythological and religious implications too.........I have so much to think about 😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😭😭😭😭😭❤️😭❤️😭😭

[peachymhaechan]

“I didn't know it’d be this hard...”

Genre: fluff, soulmate! au where you switch bodies when you turn 21 and have until the clock strikes midnight to leave clues and find your soulmate before you’re switched back into your own body

Warning: language

Pairing: Jungwoo x Reader

A/N: hey y’all, this marks the beginning of my soulmate au project! I thought that Jungwoo would be the best to start this off with because he is such a sweetheart and the definition of living fluff lol. anyways, pls enjoy this! 

it was common knowledge in your family what your soulmate quirk was 

typically, you find out what your soulmate quirk is when you’re younger

one of your friends had a little flower start growing behind her ear and it kept getting closer to blooming as the days counted down before she met her soulmate

once she met her soulmate, the flower bloomed and guess what? her soulmate had the same phenomenon happen to her

when you were little, you had to watch on the sidelines as all of your friends figured out their quirks

after a while, you had completely given up on the idea of having a soulmate

it wasn’t common to not have a soulmate, but it did happen in some cases

either someone never developed their quirk or their soulmate died

whatever the case may be, you were accepting of the fact that you didn’t have a soulmate

your friends and family tried to convince you that your soulmate was still out there

after all, your family for some odd reason had the same quirk

I mean, not everyone in your family did, but a lot of your relatives dealt with the same thing

they wouldn’t experience anything to be considered a quirk

until they hit their 21st birthday

when they’d wake up in a completely different body

wow, a very vivid out of body experience

that meant that the mind of the body you were in had to be in your body, right?

that’s exactly how it worked

and at the strike of midnight, you would switch back to your own body

so you had one whole day to figure out who your soulmate is and meet them

otherwise you could be spending the rest of your life without a soulmate

which would suck!! :(

SO

your family all tried to reassure you that that was most likely your quirk, but you had convinced yourself over the years that you’d never find them

the night before your 21st birthday, you had gone to bed early after a day of nasty a 8 AM class and work

you slept like a baby pretty much

and then you woke up on your birthday

looked in the mirror

and found the face of someone else staring back at you

holy shit

all you could think was “what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck”

after you calmed down a bit, you remembered all that your family had told you

you have all day (since it’s their birthday, too)

they’re in your body, in probably just as much of a panic as you are

you have until the strike of midnight to be in their body and lay clues around

you don’t have any of their memories/knowledge of their life

so that means you cannot go on their phone or laptop and follow yourself on social media from their account

you have to lay honest to god clues around so you can meet them

bc if you don’t find them? you won’t have them for the rest of your life

SO

this chance could not be taken for granted

deciding to make the most of this

and, ya know, FIND YOUR SOULMATE

you got up and went to the bathroom

you looked in the mirror again and found yourself looking at the face of your soulmate

he was high key adorable?? wtf

the very definition of uwu

a full marshmallow boy !! 

someone you’d look at and want to call bub

squishy cheeks!! 

cute smile !!

but you also recognized him as someone that you never would have expected like. ? 

how in the WORLD????

ANYWAYS

you were just about to leave the bathroom when you heard voices outside the bathroom

“hasn’t jungwoo hyung been in there for a while?” “yeah, I hope he’s okay haha” 

“ohhhhhh  hYUNG, OPEN UP-” and a group of young boys tumbled in after fucking,,, beating the door down

“are you okay, hyung?” one of them asked, a boy a dolphin laugh

“you look like you don't know who we are”

“listen.... to be 100% completely honest with you guys,” you started, hoping they could help you

“oh here we go, he’s going to give us some smartass response,” the tan boy rolled his eyes

“I know who you guys are but I need you all to do me a solid,” you told them

“I need you to tell me where I am right now, and I need you guys to help me get out of everything on our schedule for today,” you told them, causing them to pretty much blank

all seven of them stared back at you with no emotion

and then finally the oldest went, “you want us to... tell you where you are and... get you out of performing today?” 

“I know it sounds crazy but- you have to or else- I might not meet my soulmate...” 

luckily they didn’t ask any more questions and agreed

after all, jungwoo meeting his soulmate was on the line

the boys pulled you out to the living room where you met the other boys and told them what was going on

“so yeah... I’m not really Jungwoo right now although I mean physically I am but... his mind is in my body and mine is in his and I have to find him- er, me I guess...” 

and you were #blessed to have them on your side

they all came up with this master plan to get you out of performing that evening

they were going to have at least 5+ of them act like they came down with food poisoning so it would be pointless to have the remaining not vomiting/shitting people perform

a solid plan, tbh

“you all are truly angels and I owe you so much, thank you all so much, oh my god,” you said and started running around and kissing them all on the cheek

they all didn’t know how to react to it bc ?? jungwoo but not jungwoo ?? 

“I promise, when I find him we will take you all out for dinner, on us,” you said, which made everyone get excited and start hugging you instead 

“is there anything else I should know about him before I just wander out into the world in his body and try and find myself?” 

“he likes going to little cafes when he is stressed!” -lucas, a god and best best friend ever

so you set out (with a hat and mask on obviously, you were on a mission and this isn’t amateur hour)

and began to find your way back to your house

but bc you were in the body of nct’s jungwoo

people mcfuckin recognized you and asked for pictures

shit shit shit

you had absolutely no idea how to act around fans

like,, sure,, jungwoo might know how to verbalize heart emojis but you sure as hell didn’t

so you had a lot of interactions that went like such: 

“are you jungwoo from NCT?!” 

“yes!” 

“OMG can I get a picture with you?” 

“Of course!”

“OMG thank you, I love you so much, you’ve inspired me-” (insert rambling here)

*just nod the whole time and smile*

“thank you! you inspire me to keep doing what I’m doing!” >but very awkward

it took you well over two hours to get to your house 

and boy when you got there

it was a little difficult to explain to your parents why you were there

“hey uhhh Mom and Dad, can you let me/my soulmate’s body in the house?” 

of course they knew what was going on

so they let you in and made you food (even though you said you weren't hungry, they were more worried about feeding their future son-in-law)

“You just missed him, honey, he left twenty minutes ago to find you,” your mother told you and you shut down

“Are you kidding me?” 

“Well do you have his cell phone?” 

“Yes but I don’t know his password.” 

so cheating the quirk was out of question

“All I know about him is where the dorms are, he has a performance at this one arena, and he likes to go to small cafes when he is stressed.” 

“It might not seem like a lot, but it is a start, hon. You know what you have to do,” you father said, politely telling you to get out of the house and find him

after giving yourself a lil pep talk

(pretty much just you saying “GO GET YA MANS, HUNTY”) 

you were set:)

SO

“i’m going to get my mans”

and oh man

did you

you had a little under 10 hours left to find him

first stop: check to see if any of your friends had seen you 

you went to your best friend’s house, not giving a shit that you technically were not you

“Hey, I don’t have enough time to explain but did you see Y/N today?” 

cue best friend chilling on their doorstep in complete shock 

“uhhhhhhh yeah, she was here earlier and said she was going to the uhh. The NCT concert tonight after running around the city to find someone. I’m assuming that person is you.” 

“Yep, that’d be correct... thank you!” 

“Should I- should I tell her you stopped by?” 

well it ain’t like he can get in my phone, so no BUT

he could at least see the notification on the screen so why not?? 

it wouldn’t hurt to try

“Sure, if you don’t mind doing that. Oh, and one more thing? Can you tell her to go to the Red Ring Café after the concert? Thank you, I appreciate it!” 

fuck

at least you knew he’d be in two definite locations later: 

the café and the concert

uhhhhhhhhh the concert that you were supposed to be performing at

well you couldn’t go there, so you’d have to catch him at the café 

“I didn’t know it’d be this hard...”

the rest of the day was spent wandering around, trying to keep yourself out of the public’s eye but also trying to find yourself

so very confusing and soul crushing

the concert rolled around and you being you

managed to find yourself outside of the venue

you could hear the music and fans screaming from the outside and it killed you to know that your soulmate was in there

luckily nobody noticed you/one of the members of the band

you went to the café just as the concert was about to end

you ordered a latte and sat in the corner, eyes constantly on the door

your heart was beating out of your (his?) chest 

about five minutes before the café was going to close, and five minutes before you were going to switch back, you (he?) walked in

you ordered and after you picked up your drink, you saw him (you?)

fuck fuck fuck

you walked over and sat down across from you (wow, confusing I know)

“are you my soulmate?” you (really Jungwoo asked)

“yeah, that’s me!” you (actually you in Jungwoo’s body) said, tearing up from being so excited

you both sat there in silence, not knowing what to do

you had to admit- it was weird af to see yourself from somebody else’s eyes

but the five minutes came and went by very fast

and before you knew it

you were back in your own body, looking at your soulmate in his own body

kim jungwoo

kim jungwoo?

kim jungwoo.

kim jungwoo!

kim jungwoo was your soulmate!! 

he grabbed your hand and interlaced his fingers with yours, going full uwu

“You’re really my soulmate?” he asked, just wanting to be 100% sure 

(he also couldn’t believe that you, a beautiful human being, was meant to be his for the rest of his life) 

“Yep, I’m really your soulmate,” he confirmed

since the café was closing, y’all decided to take a walk by the river and get to know one another

after talking for almost three hours, you realized that you were glad you had a soulmate

everything had been said in total agreement

you two just... clicked?? it wasn’t like anything you had ever experienced before

“You know, I convinced myself that I would never find you, or even have you...” you told him, eyes fixed ahead

“Me, too. But I’m so incredibly lucky to have you,” he responded, looking at you (again, full uwu) 

I think it’s safe to say that you ended your birthday a pretty happy camper

for starters, you were 21!

but more importantly, your soulmate! 

your kim jungwoo! 

and you wouldn’t ask for anything more, because kim jungwoo??

the perfect gift you could have asked for

[known-scoundrel]

Me: hey can I get some tips on spriting, maybe some shading or pose advice? Really Good spriter: Everything you do is wrong you should do things only the way I do it I want to mcfuckin’ kill myself. This is why I never talk to other people for help with my sprites.

[delphiniiidae]

last week one of my friends did some stupid shit at what is literally my favorite beach spot and now i essentially can't go back there anymore for a while and that makes me want to McFuckin Kill Myself

[pinkrose787]

im making art right now and I want to mcfuckin kill myself