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ladymarycrawley · 2 years

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You're mine and mine only - Trent Alexander-Arnold

Request: Hi could you write a Trent Smut where he gets jealous of his teammates and fucks y/n hard to let her know who she belongs to, sth like angry sex

Warning: smut with some foul language, kinda long (I’m more of a fluffy sex girl but I tried my best 💗)

Tag list: @masonxomount @chelsealover

Trent was kind of a jealous boyfriend, not in a toxic way but let's say he didn't like when someone got way too close to you than what he thought was acceptable. Especially when this someone was one of his teammates.

That someone was Mason Mount who was there exchanging some funny jokes with you, therefore making you laugh. It looked like you were really enjoying his company and Trent was fuming, his stare fixed on you in a frown.

"That was good, wasn't it, Trent?" Jordan asked his younger teammate, carrying on with whatever they were talking about.

"Mhh yeah" He lost the focus and therefore the interest in keeping up with that conversation as he was busy glaring at his national teammate.

"What's up mate?" Marcus asked him, seeing as he stopped listening to them and tried to follow where his stare was falling on and having a little laugh when he realised what was happening.

"Ohh someone's getting jealous" He mocked him, Jordan and Jude doing the same soon after.

"Shut up" Trent was getting quite nervous and that was such a funny sight for the other players who were with him.

"Come on dude, that's okay, they're just talking"

"Uhh she just touched his arm!" Jude squealed, earning a glare from Jordan that silently admonished him.

"They're having a nice chat, that's all"

Trent stopped talking and turned to his friends with a fake smile "If you'll excuse me I have to go now"

"Don't be silly, Trent" Jordan tried to talk some sense into him but with no success at all.

The Liverpool player got up and got closer to you, who were standing a few metres away from him.

He was a quite introverted guy so in your relationship the closest thing to pda people could see was him holding your hand at best so when in that moment you felt him hugging you from behind, his hands placed on your hips and his lips kissing your jaw you couldn't help but blurt your eyes out.

"What are you doing?" Your tone was quite sursprised.

"Mason was just showing me pics of his nieces, they're adorable!"

The Chelsea player was embarrassed and clearly in distress, scratching the back of his head as Trent succeded in making him feel like he was thridwheeling.

"I think we should go now" Trent whispered in your ear. He pressed his body closer to yours making you gasp when you felt his hard bulge.

"It was nice talking to you Y/N, see you"

"Bye…Trent, what's wrong with you?? I was just talking!" You protested, aware that your boyfriend was just acting out of jealousy.

"You were all giggly and all over him"

"What? Oh God Trent…grow up"

When you tried to sneak away from him he pulled you by your wrist, forcing you to look at him.

"Not that fast, princess"

"What do you want?"

He got closer to your ear once again, his voice coming out as the sexiest whisper ever that sent goosebumps all over your skin.

"You've been a naughty girl and I'm not happy with that…take that gorgeous bum of yours out of here, someone needs a lesson"

You gasped, knowing it was good for you to shut up and follow his instructions.

When he guided you out of the venue by your hips, Jude shouted "Go easy on her!"

You couldn't see him but he smirked and mouthed in response "I won't"

The ride back home was pure hell as you stood there in your seat in silence, fiddling with your fingers as Trent kept his eyes on the road, a smirk that didn't cease to leave his lips.

When you stopped at the traffic lights, he looked at you out of the corner of his eyes, already savouring his sweetest revenge on you. He moved his hand away from the steering wheel to slowly push it towards your thighs and between them, smiling knowingly as his sudden gesture made you squirm a little and got you kind of wet already.

"This pussy is already waiting for me, good"

You sighed, hoping the light would turn green soon for you to go home and having him all to yourself.

As soon as you arrived home, he slammed you against the wall near the front door, blocking your arms above your head. His grip was so tight his knuckles turned slightly white as his lips moved voraciously over yours: he had been waiting for that moment all night, to please himself and give you a lesson for your demeanour that he deemed to be disrespectful.

His free hand shifted along your thigh to grab it and put it around his hip.

Trent was a really good lover, not because he was your boyfriend but because he objectively was, knowing full well your weak spots and how to make the most of them.

“Can’t wait to fuck you so hard you forget his name” He slurred in your ear, licking your upper lip before trapping it between his lips again and again.

You couldn’t wait for it either, you loved it when he was rough with you…the thought of what you were about to do made you moan against his lips, your legs suddenly weak not able to keep you upright.

He noticed your legs giving away and shifted his right hand, still busy holding your hands up against the wall, down to circle your waist, in order to support you.

You hopped in his arms, arms and legs tangled around his athletic body that was effortlessly holding you up.

Gladly your hands were now free to run through his hair, along his shoulders and you loved feeling him that close to you. The scent of his perfume so strong it made you feel high, high with love and lust for that man.

“Take me to bed” You purred behind his ear.

Were you asking for him to punish you? That was what Trent was hoping for.

He slapped your arse making you hiss loudly.

“Such a good girl for me” Trent smirked, eager to make you his, as he let you back on your feet.

You bit your bottom lip and took his hand in yours, guiding him to your bedroom, you knowing the way to it way too well you could have gone there with your eyes closed.

As you entered the room, he pushed you on the bed, ordering you to lie down and stay still.

“Get naked”

Trent stood there, at the edge of the bed, enjoying you taking the dress you chose for that night’s event off. He stopped your undressing when the only thing left on your body were your knickers.

You were there, nearly naked only for his eyes only to see it and he was about to make you his like never before. That image made his dick twitch inside his boxers in excitement.

His fingers started to trace a light trail from your groin down to your calf taking then one leg to place it on his shoulder, doing that with the left one as well.

Your man always looked breathtaking but when he was between your thighs you swore he turned into a beautiful angel, an angel who was about to give you hell.

“It’s a pity I have to rip these off”

A thing you would usually do at him saying that was whine, getting frustrated everytime he thought it was a good idea to force you to buy a new lingerie set every week. But not that time: you were so caught in the moment you didn’t have the strength to complain, he could have ripped your entire closet as far as you cared.

The lack of moans from your part made him look at you a bit longer, waiting for you to whine to him.

“What?”

God, you were perfect to him, completely abosrbed you were there just waiting for him to treat the way he wanted.

“You look so hot right now” His body hovered over yours, your faces dangerously close “ I love the way you look when you want me to fuck you”

You were already a moaning mess, doing it right into his mouth as he kissed you, your lips engaged in a sensual fight for dominance you gladly let him win.

The Scouser bit on your love handles before taking that tiny piece of clothing that was your underwear off your body.

"This pussy is all yours"

"All mine, is it?" He huskily asked you, lust filling him to the brim and controlling his every gesture, from his voice to his eyes that got darker, blinded by the hunger and jealousy he had been feeling since the moment he saw you giggling with Mason earlier on.

"Yes daddy"

That nickname made his eyes go wider: it was the first time you were calling him that and he did like it.

You were a rather shy person, in bed included, so watching you being that uninhibited made himself feral and he liked that new side of you, a lot.

"What did you just call me?" That literally drove him crazy, taking him to tighten his hand around your jaw to express his dominance over you.

"Mmm…daddy" The strangled moan that his rethorical question elicited from you, was so full of desire it made him shiver.

He licked his lips, moving his hand down your neck, through your breast ending that imaginary line when his fingers came in contact with your pussy. That touch only was enough to make you shake since you were already aroused enough.

“You know this belongs to daddy, mh?”

“Yes…” Your eyes were closed, both because of the unbearable passion and because you knew that if your gaze met his you wouldn’t have survived much longer. He was irresistible to say the least.

“And you’re so wet for daddy” He smirked, pleased with the effect he was having on you.

His fingers spread your entrance open , as if to admire it, knowing he was the only one who could see you like that.

You pushed your hips up in a silent invitation for him to eat you out and it didn’t go unnoticed to the Scouser.

“My slut’s needy, mh?”

“I need you so bad” You moaned, trying to reach for his arm.

“Ha ha, you have to be good and patient” He warned you, the amused note in voice making you kind of nervous. He really wanted to make you pay for what you did, daring to share a joke with one of his teammates, and he wanted you to remember that night for a long time.

“Oh poor baby…you should have thought about the consequences of your actions” He breathed on your lips before licking them.

Trent’s mouth started tracing a passionate trail along your panting body, stopping when he arrived at your thighs’ height.

He breathed kisses on your inner thighs, without actually touching your skin leaving just some licks here and there. That felt like the most painful torture at that moment and the only way you could release the tension was pulling his hair and the sheets you were laying on but you couldn’t sinceyour hands were tied to the headboard. You just had to resist and that was part of the punishment.

Trent closed his eyes and brought his tongue closer to where you needed him the most, starting to play with your clit open mouthed.

Your pants and moans got louder and louder and he was enjoying it so much he sped it up, moving his tongue faster while keeping his eyes open on you because he didn’t dare to miss that show for the world, aching for him rather desperately.

For his own taste you were moving a bit too much so he kept you in place by circling his hands around your thighs; you had to suffer in the end. And you liked it way too much.

The perfect rhythm of his tongue was sending you into overdrive, he could make you feel so good anytime you were sure it was like his secret skill.

He alternated his tongue work with some good clit sucking that made you roll your eyes back in utter pleasure, your pussy clenching around him. When he noticed you were getting wetter, he knew you were ready to take it to the next level so he started rubbing his thumb against your clit in slow, circular motions making you gasp and waiting for his next move to happen.

He then released his grasp around your thighs and let you move your right leg in order to place it over his shoulder, knowing that angle would have lead you to the edge.

Then he glided his middle finger in you, waiting for your reaction and when he saw you gasping he pushed his finger a bit further to slowly move in and out, increasing his speed as his thumb was still applying the perfect pressure over your mound.

He pushed faster and faster, adding a finger in you as his moves got frantic. You were literally screaming his name until you squirted all over him. That was exactly how he wanted to see you: defenceless and completely under his control.

You have been so good you deserved a kiss and that's what he did, moving upwards to meet your lips, as his index and middle fingers were still stroking your labia, making your whole body shudder when his plumpy lips came to leave your mouth to wrap them around your hard nipples. His tongue lapped around the left one, right and left before sucking on it. Then he did the same with the right one.

You were sure you were in heaven because everything around you disappeared and he was out of this world, taking you to places you could have never seen without him.

Trent wrapped his hands around your ankles so as to spread your legs as wide as he could before kneeling in front of you. He untied your hands, squeezing them in a reassuring motion before taking his place back between your legs.

"Be a good girl now" You nodded.

"You can fuck me whenever you want" The only thing you wanted was for him to fuck you with all the passion and lust he had piled up in him.

He slapped his hard cock against your pussy a few times, making you shiver asking for him to put it inside you instead of just being a tease: you had enough of all that teasing you ran your hand down his legs to push his dick inside of you yourself.

"I want all of it, give me all of it"

Trent smirked, squeezing his fingers around your wrist to stop you.

"I have to do it, princess"

His teasing went on: he let his tip only inside of you. He was aware of the pain he was inflicting you but he wasn't sorry in the slightest, you deserved each and every bit of it. Next time you would have thought twice about acting all charming with Mason.

"Don't tease"

"Don't tell me what to do" He groaned, his hand grabbing your face tighter. His thumb grazed your parted lips, you immediately taking it in your mouth to start sucking on it.

He placed his arms at either side of your head, propped on his forearms.

"Such a good girl"

You smirked as he brushed his nose against yours, in what was the only innocent sweet gesture of the night.

The Liverpool player looked down at your bodies for a moment, to savour the instant when his member entered your pussy in such a perfect way, eliciting a loud gasp from you.

"Yes" You moaned satisfied as he was finally filling you with his lenght, arching your back and grabbing the sheets tighter.

"If you behave I'll let you ride me later" He muttered before you could even form an answer as he started pounding into you mercilessly.

His weight was pressing over your body perfectly, loving the feeling of his broad muscles bobbing over you, even more so when you clenched your hands around his arms or ran your fingers over his shoulder blades. That man was a living tease, making you feel the happiest even when he wanted to "punish" you.

Each thrust took you closer to ecstasy, he could do it like no one.

Both your moans came out as muffled sounds due to the messy kisses you were giving each other.

"Oh yes, right there" You tugged at the dreadlocks at the nape of his neck, praising him as he pushed deeper inside of you reaching your G spot.

Your nails were leaving scratches all over his back as he was filling you so well.

"Who's fucking you this good, mhh?"

"You daddy"

Trent's pushes became fierce, wanting every part of your body to feel him, to fill you perfectly.

“T, I’m close” You breathed out as you felt your second orgasm building up inside of your walls.

“Cum baby” He grunted, pushing even further into you. “Cum for me”

You moaned in his ear, pushing your hips up to meet his own movements. Trent was close too, grunting when he felt you clenching around him.

"Yeah cum inside daddy please, cum inside me" You begged him rather desperately as he was taking you over the edge with his deep thrusts.

You came first, your juices coating his member as he gave some more pushes into you to reach his own orgasm too.

As he released his load into you, satisfied moans left both your mouths before collapsing on the mattress.

“Fuck…that was amazing” You were trying to catch your breath as you were still panting due to the heavy sex session you just had.

Trent came down from his own high, and down from your body, to lay next to you, a smirk painted on his lips.

The movement of his chest raising and falling as he was trying to catch his breath was an entrancing sight to you.

You placed your leg over his and leaned over his body, your lips started leaving kisses against his abdomen, his collarbones and his neck, in a sweet yet seductive way.

He groaned, actually pleased with your attention, opening his eyes when he felt your weight lift to get on top of him.

“You were amazing”

“Yeah, I know” He smirked cockily, earning a playful smack on his shoulder from you “I know a trick or two to please my woman and remind her who she belongs to”

That line made you blush as you buried your head in his neck.

“Stop being so cocky”

“You were pretty good too” He giggled, squeezing your buttcheeks as you were busy leaving kisses down his neck.

“I still have to ride you…you promised”

Trent grunted and tried to hide his face in the crook of your neck as you kept covering him in kisses.

“Don’t be naughty, or I’ll have to tie you again”

You giggled as you let your hand graze his cheek in a soft way before moving your lips to kiss his other cheek.

“Next time I’ll fuck you in front of the entire team"

"Does it mean I can have a threesome?"

"Nope!" He grabbed your face tightly in order to force you to look at him, right in his eyes.

"You're mine and mine only, okay?"

"Oh sorry…I tend to forget it" You smirked mischievously, straddling him.

He was yours too in the end so marking him with some love bites would have been good...he had horny girls looking at him or sliding in his dms all the time after all. You attached your lips to his neck again, biting on his skin.

Trent moaned, his hands roaming over your back only stopping to squeeze your butt.

"Let me remind you of it then"

That night was far from being over and you wouldn't want it any other way.

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hannahssimblr · 9 months

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“Give me your artist's perspective, do you like this colour?” Jen wriggles her toes and fixes a small patch with her nail varnish brush.

“It’s black. It’s not a colour.”

“Black is a colour.”

“It’s the absence of colour, it’s a shade.”

“Ugh, annoying.”

“You asked for an artist’s perspective.”

“I’m sorry I bleedin’ did.” She rolls her eyes and lies back on her towel. “I just wanted you to say that you like it. It’s about time you learned about what women really want.”

“Well, alright then, I like it.”

She sniffs and pushes her sunglasses onto her face. They glint in the high sun. “I miss Michelle. She knows how to talk about girl things. You’re useless, you know that? She’d look at my toenails and she’d say, ‘wow, Jen, that’s a nice colour, it really suits you’ and I wouldn’t even have to ask her to do that.”

“Sorry for having a dick,” I say. “It sounds like it’s really hard for you to cope with.”

“Thanks for understanding.”

“Have you heard from her recently?”

“Michelle? Yeah. She we were chatting on MSN the other day. She’s having fun in Malaysia, and it’s mad hot and all of her dad’s family are nice so far. And she saw a dead dog in a bag in the river.”

“Nice, thanks for the update.”

“Why don’t you message her?”

“Because I’m not close to Michelle like you are.”

“I wish you were, she’s important to me.”

“Obviously yes, I know that. We just get on each other's nerves.” She thinks I’m annoying, I think she’s annoying, we’d just never really work as friends. Jen knows this, so I don’t know why she keeps talking about it.

She turns over to look at me, “Well I think you should give her a chance, because you have a lot in common actually, you’re both really good at drawing, and you’re both smart. Also you could really use some practice with being friends with girls, and I mean just friends, not friends that you eventually, you know, fuck.” She whispers that last word because it’s a scandalous thing to say.

“I don’t fuck.” I hiss back. “I wish you’d stop saying that, people might believe you.”

She snickers, “But you do!”

“No! As far as you’re concerned I've never done it. And I don't really feel like talking about this, it makes me feel weird.”

“Well okay, but when Shell comes back, and when we go back to Dublin you should make an effort with her, and you should use her as practice.”

I groan. “What do you mean?”

“See if you can not seduce a girl who’s close with you.”

“Stop it, I don’t seduce either”

“The girls at school would disagree, you should hear how they talk about you in the changing rooms, it’s all ‘Jude did this, Jude said that, he touched my arm, oh he’s so fine, did you see his arse in those trousers?’ It’s actually disgusting.”

I squint at her, “My school uniform trousers?”

“I think so.”

“I can’t help it if I pull them off. I pull everything off, actually. And I also can’t help it if the girls I make friends with eventually fall in love with me, I’m just naturally very sexy, so I get if you’re nervous about Michelle, because you never know what she might see in me…”

Jen is laughing, “You’re ridiculous. It’s just that you have that slight hint of an American accent, and they go wild for you because they think you sound like someone from 90210.”

“Whatever, I make that work for me too.”

“Well you know Siobhán in Ms Daly’s class? She says that you-”

“Okay, okay, I don’t want to know what she says,” I snap, with irritation that surprises even me, “I’m tired of talking about this now.”

Jen frowns, “Well sorry. Moody.”

“I just don’t want to know all of the weird things girls are saying about me to each other. Would you like it if you heard of yourself being, like, talked about like you’re not even a person and reduced to just body parts? I don’t think you would.”

“Nobody talks about me like that, so yeah, actually, I wouldn’t mind it for once.”

“Well it feels bad. They all talk about me like I’m some conquest.”

“I’d rather be like that than like this.”

“Like what?”

She says nothing.

“Like what, Jenny?”

She crosses her arms crossly, “Never mind. Just ask yourself, if I was straight, do you think we’d still be friends?”

Then I frown into her face. I don’t like this question or its abruptness. “Of course we would be. Why would you say that?”

“I’m just wondering, like, in an alternate universe whether things would have gotten complicated between us and then we’d have had to stop being friends out of awkwardness.”

“I don’t think that at all. I think we’d be friends no matter what.”

She chews on her lip anxiously. “Yeah but that proves my point. You think that because I’m not pretty.”

“Come on, Jenny, you are pretty.”

“Uh! I’m not, and I’m also fat, so,”

“You’re not fat.”

She huffs, “Well, I am. It’s a fact. You don’t have to lie. I’ve heard it enough times at school by now to know that everyone thinks so.”

“I don’t know… this conversation is weird. I don’t know what you’re getting at.”

“Well… I don’t know either. You just didn’t get my point.”

“Is there something about being friends with me that, like, makes you feel bad about yourself?” Now I am cold and horrible on the inside. If Jen believes, even in some small capacity, that our friendship exists only because I can’t or won’t date her, then I’m sick with myself. As if I would throw it all away for some lame chance at romance, when really, I’d be friends with Jen no matter what, and forever. No matter if she were straight, or thin or in some way differing in her appearance. I’m friends with her because she’s the best person I know and we are good for one another, not because I’ve merely settled for her. I wish I could communicate this effectively, but I know I can’t, because every time I try to say things like this to people it inevitably comes out wrong and I end up looking stupid.

“I don’t know. It’s alright.” With hands that clutch at her arms she sniffs and looks sharply away from me, down the long strip of the beach where the land whittles down to a spit and tapers into the sea, “I wonder if I text Joe now will he be able to get something from his brother for me tonight. I’m starting to get so bored of being sober.”

My stomach tightens like a fist, “What do you mean? What do you want him to get?”

“I dunno, like something fun for later. Whatever he has.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Uh!” She looks at me with mock incredulity, “Are you my da? I can do what I want, can’t I?”

“I suppose, but why? It’s just not predictable. You never know what kind of junk you’re going to get when you go to a guy like that.”

“I know but I like that about it,” she takes her phone out and starts texting, “It’s unpredictable. Russian Roulette, right?”

“Yeah… Fine. Whatever. Something like that.”

Beginning // Prev // Next

#lucky boy #a bit of Jen time!#another character that didn't get enough time in Lucky Girl #readers of that will know what i'm foreshadowing here hehe

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darkfictionjude · 5 months

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I'm sorry I've been finding the asks about people being so shocked about the ROs so amusing.

Jude has been telling us not to romance these people they are all red flags!!!

Even i went into romancing my beloved Imre who i adore don't get me wrong. Man's hot and as jude metioned i am very much thinking with my libido for my MCs sake. The man is a manipulating mastermind. This has never been a secret. Even Nia's asks were always about her apprehension towards the shit MC could potentially do but she will accept it to a certain degree if she cares for them, still some things she's just deadass set on. And i am not even into the girl!

Imre Likes danger and lorcan is just a broken boy who will just be alil less broken with MC too. But it's not a fix. It won't fix their issues and it won't fix MC magically just because their inlove with each other.

These are people who honestly all need therapy and I'm walking into my toxic relationships with my eyes open.

You are always coming in clutch with your analysis darling 😘

This is not “love fixes everything” type of game. The ROs are who they are, their personalities don’t magically shift because of love. That’s not how love works. You can love someone you believe did a terrible thing (maybe a tad justified given who Orla was from Imre’s and Nia’s opinions).

MC can change but they aren’t going to change for the ROs and vice versa and I don’t believe they should. It’s not a wish fulfilment. I’m trying to create realistic relationships between messed up people. In a town like Croun, morality is in the middle perhaps it’s the supernatural that does it or perhaps being so isolated in a town no one knows exists creates different societal rules than the outside world

MC can also think they ROs are not above doing bad things too and still romance them. Isn’t it nice to find someone who can see the worst in you and love you? Like I once said my idea is that the heroes of this story would likely be villains in another

Don’t say I haven’t tried to warn you my lovely readers since the beginning, maybe it’s not how many IFs are written but what’s so great about this medium is how much creativity and exploration can happen

#opinions #morality #we wretched creatures

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maranull · 9 months

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Books I read this year and quick thoughts about them cause last year when I did this I had fun remembering them.

Under the cut cause there are a bit too many.

Ratings are 100% subjective. Going by order I've read them, not rank or whatever. I'd generally rec everything above 3 stars.

Crier's War by Nina Varela

What if you were a human, the slave race under the ruling androids and you wanted to kill the "daughter" of the lord of your city, but she was actually nice. Gay and technically enemies to lovers..? Though only the human wants to kill the other. Just a pretty nice, enjoyable fantasy. 3/5

Iron Heart by Nina Varela

Sequel to Crier's War. Here it becomes less conflict between the main characters and more world-wide troubles. Consisted quality with the first book and it also has a scene where the main characters decide to pretend to be wives to trick their way into a mansion. Hilarity ensues, which was a great break from the world-wide conflict. 3/5

A Room of One's Own by Virginia Woolf

No notes needed, I think. As of writing this, this is the best essay I've ever read. Even though you can see its age at some points, I feel it's still very relevant. 4/5

Carmilla by J. Sheridan Le Fanu

In a remote mansion, a father and a daughter take on a sickly woman. At points it felt like I was reading a lesbian romance. Which is wild considering this is written by a man in the 19th century. Absolutely horrid ending. 2.75/5

Carmilla and Laura by SD Simper

What Carmilla could and should had been. Same premise, much, much better ending. 3.75/5

Late to the Party by Kelly Quindlen

Quindlen has this uncanny skill that makes me feel and almost miss teen years I never had or would I have (cause all her works are set in the US). This particular book was a very... I think good portrayal of not fitting in, and what you might be willing to do and sacrifice to do so. And then the growth that (hopefully) comes through such experiences. 4/5

Whipping Girl by Julia Serano

Not much to say. The description, twice, promised arguments that included her knowledge of biology. That wasn't the case. A fine book to read, but the rating I gave it reflects my annoyance with that description and its setting of wrong expectations. Pay more attention to the title in this one. 3/5

Legends & Lattes by Travis Baldree

Top tier vibes. An orc adventurer settles down and makes a coffee shop in a town that doesn't know what coffee is. Did not vibe with the climax or the romance (that felt shoehorned in) but overall a very enjoyable read. 3.5/5

An Absolutely Remarkable Thing by Hank Green

Giant alien sculptures appear all around the globe, and the world tries to understand what they are. The main character is one of the first that finds them. One of the most interesting premises I've read. And a very interesting book right up until the ending, which I really, really didn't like. Maybe book two fixes my problems with it, but it was too sudden and I was not in a good place to give it a try then. The rating might be too harsh, but it is what I felt right after finishing it. 2.75/5

A Spindle Splintered by Alix E. Harrow

A pretty cool retelling of the Sleeping Beauty. A very hopeful book, even if the main character starts it by celebrating their last birthday. 3/5

The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas by Ursula K. Le Guin

I still think about this story sometimes. Absolutely insane how Le Quin managed to write something this short and this good. I found out more about myself from this story. I know me better through thinking about this story. It's just amazing, read it and think on it. 4/5

Short Stuff by Kate Fierro, Alysia Constantine, Jude Sierra, Julia Ember, Jen Sternick, Tom Wilinsky

A short LGBTQ+ stories collection. I was in a really bad place at the time of reading it, I barely remember anything. Though I do remember that some were really good though, while others were... pretty meh to even just... bad. Overall 3/5.

Elysium Girls by Kate Pentecost

Praise be the dystopia that got me out of my reading slump! Really cool concept, I loved it. The magic and technology is also very well made. 3.25/5

The Druid's Call by E. K. Johnston

A book made to accompany the movie D&D: Honor Among Thieves and to expand on Doric's character. It's basically her whole backstory leading up to the movie events. I think there's nothing to say here, right? There is? Okay. I've watched, listened, read and played through maybe too many stories. Seen thousands upon thousands of characters. No one ever came close to how much I relate to Doric and her story. This book is the most accurate description of abandonment and trust issues I've ever read. It was also aware how something like that might heal, and how blind you might seem (or be) when carrying such baggage. Again, my thoughts are very subjective and biased, but this is one of the best books I've ever read. 5/5

The Fellowship of the Ring by J. R. R. Tolkien

I'm not writing a description for this. You know what it is. Dense writing and worldbuilding, but it so happens that I'm into that. :P 3.5/5

Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch by Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman

Not writing a description for this either. You're reading this on Tumblr, therefore you know the show. :P Some parts are better than the show, some are not. The kids' characters are much more well developed here, I think. Same with the Witch. Worth reading if you've seen the show, worth if you haven't. 3.5/5

A Different Kind of Us by Kelly Quindlen

At her first job, the main character finds out that her ex-best friend and first love works there as well. A fun, sad and more adult take on the type or stories Quindlen tends to write. A nice change to see adults struggle and work towards coming to terms with themselves and their relationships. 4/5 (Quindlen is one of my fav authors, I'm biased, shut up)

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

A deadly heist, attempted by a skilled band of thieves and thugs that you will end up loving (the vast majority of them anyways). It had been a while since I've read YA fantasy before reading this, and it was a bit surreal feeling like a 15yo again. The book itself is really interesting, but the characters are not 16yo, I'm sorry. Still, they are really, really cool in their own unique ways. The magic system is a really good one as well. 3.5/5

Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo

Sequel to Six of Crows. Great book and a damn good ending. I would kill for Inej and Jesper. 3.75/5

Say the Name: A Survivor's Tale in Prose and Poetry by Judith H. Sherman

This is a book that I believe everyone should read. It's not a fun or light read, but I think it should be in everyone's library. It describes the experiences of a 14yo Jewish girl (the author at the time) who was imprisoned in the Ravensbruck Concentration Camp during World War II. No other book, movie or documentary about that part of history has hit me more than this book. I think that when we're just seeing numbers, it's so easy for our mind to numb out the horror each individual experienced. The way Say the Name focuses on a single experience gets you away from numbers and statistics, and the focus on one person was, to me, so much more impactful. Read it. 4/5

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston

You meet a hot girl in your commute, but it turns out she's lost in time, stuck in the subway for eternity. What do you do? An absolute joy of a book. Main and side characters were all fantastic. It's a great story and top tier romance. One of the few books I loved so much that I went out of my way to grab a physical copy. It's better read while on the train by the way. It truly enhances the experience. 4.5/5

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman

Big themes of following expectations (your own and others) and depression. Not an easy read, and I think it would touch some people more than others. 3.5/5

Girl, Woman, Other by Bernardine Evaristo

A big cast, and many different stories that are all interconnected through various means. I think this is another book that should be read by everyone. 4/5

Love Beyond Body, Space & Time by Hope Nicholson with David A. Robertson, Cherie Dimaline, Gwen Benaway, Richard Van Camp, Mari Kurisato, Nathan Adler, Daniel Heath Justice, Darcie Little Badger, Cleo Keahna, Grace L. Dillon, Niigaanwewidam James Sinclair

Another short stories collection. Some are amazing, some are meh and some I would had loved if they were more lengthy. A lovely collection overall. 3.25/5

The Two Towers by J. R. R. Tolkien

Started great, then kinda slowed down to a point that even though I thought I like his writing style, it became quite tiring to get through. Still a really good book. 3.25/5

Bitterthorn by Kat Dunn

A Witch haunts a city, taking a young man every generation or so. Our protagonist is the daughter of the current duke, and in deep depression. So when the Witch comes for her toll once more, she volunteers instead. Very atmospheric. But I think what won me over, is the characters and their interactions. There's this thing in fiction, where you make two characters have a fight, but they reconcile because they each can see the error of their ways and are willing to swallow their pride cause they care for each other. That is a "trope" that I will eat up every single time, and it is done greatly here. 4.25/5

And now I haven't touched a book for over a month... Here's hoping that I'll start reading again by January. :P

#book recs #books #personal #long post #been writing this on and off for a while in the drafts #and since i don't think i'll finish anything else by the end of the year #might as well post it #mmhm

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devil-doll13 · 1 year

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ok, for Abby and Max:

favourite place in the world?

comfort food?

biggest fear?

favourite swear word?

ideal partner?

biggest pet peeve?

safe space?

guilty pleasure?

Hiii Cylas! Thankyou for all the questions I had fun thinking Abt these.

From this

Under the cut due to length:

Favourite Place In The World?

Oooh Abigail isn’t really attached to a specific place… Nowhere really takes to her except for places of the dead, who like her far better than the living ever have. So graveyards, where she’s slept and read and danced in before.

For Max I fully believe it is a concert venue! He loves music and will always enjoy the crazy energy when the band comes on to play. He’s very used to it since he used to play himself, and now that he doesn’t go to them as often he treasures it even more.

Comfort Food?

For Abigail it’s Halloween candy. The 31st of October was not only the day before her birthday (which she enjoyed even though there was no party) but a rare and precious time she got to actually enjoy herself as a kid. Also yes, she always went as a little witch.

For Max it’s pizza all day every day baby. He likes it best with pepperoni and bacon bc he’s a meat eater. It reminds him of his childhood and teenage years when he was relatively untroubled, and better things from back then. It’s a nice greasy comfort of his.

Biggest Fear?

Abigail I think has very little to fear now since… She’s already been through it, really. (And she is the one whom others should fear, she believes) But I would say she is honestly petrified of making herself too vulnerable to someone only for things to turn out badly like they did with Jude…

For Max it’s probably his fear that someday his secret would get out and that the people of Downings, who he’d grown so fond of, would condemn him for it. I mean, not only is he a werewolf, but also an actual murderer and lbr a lot of people couldn’t stomach that… Best to keep it hidden.

Favourite Swear Word?

Abigail’s favourite is probably ‘fuck’ and when she actually swears (because she doesn’t do it often) she really means it.

For Max it’s ‘shit,’ kind of one he just finds himself saying casually because ‘fuck’ is a little bit more severe to him.

Ideal Partner?

Abigail would be drawn to a kindred spirit, someone who makes her feel less of an ‘other’ maybe. I feel that she is drawn to the artsy types and outsiders, someone who she could talk poetry with and share with a sense of dark romanticism, or maybe just overall grim vibes. Also, she needs someone to accept the fact that she is legitimately inhuman in some aspects of herself and has murdered people… And will continue to do so and probably worse things lol. Might be best if they have some dark secrets too

Max has a thing for nerdy people! And also smart people 👀 but not necessarily in the conventional book smarts way if you know what I mean? He likes people with a passion and zest for life and things they enjoy, and of course someone who is kind and isn’t an asshole to others because that would turn him off for sure. Someone who reminds him of the better things about his ‘past life’ but to also cherish this new one. Also, loyal, because he values that highly. Someone who he can tell his secret to and be accepted despite it.

Biggest Pet Peeve?

Abigail hates when Christmas comes too fast and wipes out Halloween 😂 she loves the spooky vibes too much and probably hates all the songs that get played over and over. Since she doesn’t have any good Christmas memories she doesn’t care about it at all so she doesn’t understand the obsession.

I’ve been asked about Max’s before but another one of his that I haven’t talked about is he hates when vinyls have been compressed/bricked to hell. His sensitive hearing especially does not do well with it 😭 he has a hard time listening to Death Magnetic bc of this the poor man

Safe Space?

Hmm… Does Abigail feel safe anywhere? Like, really? She hasn’t had a fixed home for years so I’d really say just whenever she is surrounded by ways to kill someone who tries anything. Whenever she feels powerful and superior.

Max actually would probably consider the forest area around his home to be a ‘safe space,’ for everyone’s sake. It’s where he can be the wolf without having any worries of scaring or hurting others, and he truly free. Plus it’s very calming to be in nature, he appreciates in now more than he used to.

Guilty Pleasure?

Abigail’s is theatre, which I wouldn’t say she feels guilty about it but more that it was a very distant childhood dream of hers that never got fulfilled. She likes to watch plays sometimes, applying the means necessary to enter and leave unseen. Her favourite play is Hamlet, which she has used victims to act out before since her corpses couldn’t speak….

Max’s is pop music, especially Madonna he loves her lol, catch him vibing to Vogue or Material Girl on the down low. Since he has this whole ‘metalhead’ thing going on nobody expects him to have a thing for it. He also loves Prince and Lady Gaga. He probably just had to hide it as a kid bc of his brothers lol, like you just know he would’ve been made fun of for it.

#friend cy #Abigail Williams #Abigail #Maxwell Holt #Max #asks #ask game

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brkwingss · 3 months

Text

for: matty ( @intxication ) location: the church

Life had a way with taking the reins and exhausting him too much to muster up the energy. But Ric felt like he was slipping again. He had no reason to feel like this, yet he felt his mind was taking ten steps back these days and he could feel the self-hate begin to slowly bubble up again, and the sleepless night had already begun. Seeing Jude at the block party was nice because not only had it been one of his good days, just seeing the man brought a comfort to his soul. Which is what brought him back to church. That and he didn't know where else to turn at the moment. So, needless to say, Ricardo was more than thankful for Jude to let him stay here for a couple of days.

This was a place he could come be the most vulnerable without judgement or need to explain himself. As he entered the church, he immediately bows his head in a little prayer before moving to sit in one of the church pews towards the middle section. He sits for a moment, not praying, not thinking, just sitting and enjoying the peaceful silence that filled the church. He didn't know where Jude was right now, but he suspected around doing some sort of work. Ricardo mentally told himself that he needed to fix a couple of lights that were flickering something awful.

Who knew how long he had been sitting, by this point his face was shoved in the palm of his hands, fingers entangled in his hair, but his peaceful silence was interrupted when he heard what sounded like someone taking a seat in another section of the church. He wasn't going to look over, because it wasn't his business who had showed up, but curiosity always got the better of him. Lifting his face, Ricardo turns in the direction he heard movement from. Matty. For a moment, his brown eyes, warm, tired as they were, just looked at the other and a small sigh came from him. Then, he turns away, he turns his attention to his hands instead. Was he supposed to keep his guard up even in the house of God? He knew the answer to that question.

He should get up and walk out right now. He should. But, rather, after a moment, Ricardo gets up and makes his way to slide into the same section Matty was sitting and sits next to the other. Not too close, enough to give them both some personal space. "Hi, Matty." He met him as Matty, so that's what he'd call him. "I have to admit," his gaze is focused ahead, not really looking at anything in particular, "I'm a bit bummed I haven't gotten any wrench signals. I picked out a nice cape just for you."

#threads: ricardo & mathias #depressive thoughts tw

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gotatext · 1 year

Text

JUDE & JENNY — NIGHT THIRTY-THREE.

location : fire pit.

time : evening.

description : jude and jenny decide who to save.

featuring : jenny / @blondcs

𝐣𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐞𝐧

everyone shares looks around the fire pit before huddling in toward their couples and jenny takes an extra moment to meet rhys’ eye, sympathy and determination wired through her gaze before facing jude. “we’re gonna keep rhys. that’s fine with you, right?” it’s not really a question, nor does she intend for it to be—this is what they’re doing, end of story. it’s just convenient that jude likely won’t have a strong opinion either way. “but first—“ she peels herself away from the arm she’s been latched onto just to take his face in both hands and guide his lips to hers, arching herself in close. “i knew we had nothing to worry about.”

𝗷𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗽𝘀𝗲𝘆.

there’s an edginess to jude’s energy, stressed out and highly strung like a shaken up bottle of pepsi. his body hasn’t really relaxed since the moment he got the text calling them to the fire pit. the only thing grounding him is jenny’s grip on his arm. he hears her voice like he’s underwater, muffled by the ringing in his ears as his eyes snap over to her, taking a second to process what she’d said. “yeah, sure. whatever you think.” he’s not exactly gonna suggest she sends home the person who’s basically her best mate in here, even if sometimes he worries their friendship might straddle the line of what’s platonic, in a literal sense. suggesting that they save adela would only really serve a selfish purpose. she’s fit, nice to look at, and it’s fun to have another northerner around to argue about whether it’s called a cob, a barm or a stotty with. wanting her to stay would only cause jenny to worry, when really he’s got everything he wants sat next to him. he turns his chin, meeting her lips in a quick kiss, mouth still seeking out hers when she speaks, so that the words are half muffled by his lips. “genuinely thought we were gonners, there.” his hand slides down her leg to squeeze at her knee. “what are you gonna say. in the speech, i mean. you’re gonna do it, right?”

𝐣𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐞𝐧

she hates that she can’t bask in this relief. that any joy she feels at the fact that ‘hey look, people don’t hate us!’ is at the expense of one of her favorite people. things have been different with rhys since casa—the two of them wrapped up in their own individual dramas with perhaps the same stunted inability to look outside themselves, but he’s been a bit of home this entire journey and the idea of losing him leaves her hollow. she hesitates a moment, briefly concerned with her foundation transferring before ultimately fixing her forehead against his, eyes pinching shut. “it was supposed to be a fun night,” she whines, her thumb tracing patterns along his neck or, more accurately, just writing the word ‘fuck’ over and over. “my makeup came out so good, i wanted to take pictures and fix up the terrace all cute for callie and angel…” her eyes don’t open but her hand drops to his, gripping it hard before inching it higher up her leg. “fuck.” it’s louder than it should be, all her frustration leaching into the word until her eyes flash open, wild and wired and the kind of sad that looks like anger. “they’re gonna send him home. it’s gonna be a dylan / rhys popularity contest and they’re gonna fucking send him home right when he finally found someone. what a fucking joke.” her thigh is bouncing, sliding his grip higher yet, restless and frenetic in the jerky way her eyes flick around and her body vibrates. what if she told someone she wasn’t feeling well. what if she could sit this one out, pass their vote along through production, and jude could help her through her… sour stomach. yeah. oh, and jude has to come too. he has to help me fend this off with his mouth, his hands…

jenny’s ‘rational mind,’ as cheryl calls it, knows rhys isn’t fucking dying and there’s no telling what the results will be anyway, this isn’t the end of their story, but after the sudden way max was ripped away too soon and the heightened feelings of everything in this villa on a normal day, she has an overwhelming sense of dread curdling in the pit of her stomach. her hands tighten around jude’s, finally noticing them bunching up the hem of her dress pressed to where her thighs meet before dropping them like she’s been burned, shakily reaching for her hair instead. “sorry. um…” what were they talking about? she shakes her head, clearing it. “sorry. the uh… speech, right. no, yeah. i can do it. yeah. do you care what i say, or…?”

𝗷𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗽𝘀𝗲𝘆.

“shush your mush. it can still be good,” jude counters, though his voice is soft as he tucks hair behind her ear, sighing at the light trace of her fingers against his neck. his hands slide over her ears to cup at her jaw, guiding her chin up to meet her mouth in a kiss that’s firm yet tender, wishing he could swallow down all of her anxiety. he’d choke on it if it made her feel better. “we can still do both of those things… we’ll do the terrace up all nice. i’ll take some bomb pics of you up there. don’t overthink it.” he means don’t overthink the fact that rhys is probably going home. he likes rhys—a lot more than he likes dylan, who so far he hasn’t really spoken to—but of the two, he imagines dylan’s more popular. the twins seem to have some weird kinda pull over everyone. even from the two days he’s been here, it’s clear that people respect him. they respect rhys too, obviously, just not in the same way. he can feel the same instinctive feeling click in jenny too, though it’s edged with fear, a tension in her body as she slides his hands up her thighs, and all jude can do is sit dumbly and let her. “yeah. it’s shit. sorry…” jude doesn’t really know what else to say, fingers sliding up under her dress as she guides them there. would it make her feel better if he touched her? is that what she’s going for? honestly, he feels pretty powerless right now, like his only purpose in the scene is to provide her with a distraction, and he’s failing at even that.

“no, don’t apologise, it’s fine…” jude counters, when she drops his wrists like they burn, unsure whether to draw his hands away from the inside of her thighs or keep them there, hitch them higher. at the expense at everyone else, he catches her hips, dragging her onto his lap, one hand sliding up her spine while the other yanks her closer by her waist. “um… i guess just be honest? rhys is in a proper relationship. more proper than dylan and adela’s, anyway. that’s enough of a reason.” even if they aren’t together, rhys and bash are long-term fixtures of the villa. adela’s been here like, what, two days? and while dylan’s a pretty important presence in the villa, him and callie are basically interchangeable, and they’ll still have her to pick up the slack he leaves behind. “i can do it? if it’s gonna be too stressful for you. i don’t mind. maybe it’s easier to hear it from me, anyway. i’ve got less horses in the race. less stakes in the game? whatever the phrase is.”

#⥂ jude dempsey. ╱ threads.#jude & jenny.#jude & jenny 011.

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padawanlost · 3 years

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Something I've noticed recently over the past few months is this trend where people have been diagnosing Anakin with narcissistic personality disorder instead of C-PTSD or BPD, the more commonly seen diagnoses. I personally disagree, but I wanted to hear your "two sense" on the matter if you will, you're one of the best meta-writers on this site.

It’s because people don’t like Anakin as presented on screen. They want Anakin to be as selfish and arrogant as possible so they can blame him from everything that happened. If it’s ALL about Anakin than everyone else can be left off the hook.

Anakin ‘I don’t want to be a problem’ Skywalker is clearly narcissistic. I mean, he fits all the signs:

Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration

“Ten years in this place, and still he was an object of interest. Of speculation. All their hopes and dreams hanging on him like decorations on a bantha skeleton at Boonta Eve. He hated it.” [Clone Wars: Wild space, Karen Miller]

Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance

“You would forgo your destiny for Padmé?” Anakin’s brows beetled in anger. “I never claimed to be the Chosen One. That was Qui-Gon. Even the Council doesn’t believe it anymore, so why should you?” [ James Luceno. Labyrinth of Evil]

Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it

Anakin bumped his hand against [Obi-wan]. “Wait. Just—wait.” Embarrassed, he took a deep breath. “Look. Don’t take this the wrong way. It’s just—it’s the mission, right? That’s what matters. So—” “Anakin.” Obi-Wan’s whisper sounded amused. “It’s fine. I was about to suggest it myself when the droids turned up.” “You were?” “Play to your strengths and minimize your weaknesses. That’s how a battle is won. That’s how we’ll win the war.” Anakin had to smile. I should’ve known he wouldn’t take it personally. “Yeah. So—once I’m up and over and nobody raises the alarm, give me a five-count then follow. I’ll give you the best Force boost I can. Not that you’ll need much. Your leap was only a meter and a half behind Master Windu’s. Remember?” Obi-Wan gave a breathy chuckle. “I remember I had nosebleeds for a week afterward. Don’t ever feel bad for being extraordinary, Anakin. Now off you go. We don’t have all night.” [Karen Miller. Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]

Take advantage of others to get what they want

“He thought of how unflinchingly loyal Anakin was to anyone he considered a friend.” [Matthew Stover’s Revenge of the Sith]

Exaggerate achievements and talents

He was the Chosen One, they told him. He was supposed to bring balance to the Force. Anakin thought that some little extra support might go with being the Chosen One, a helping hand or at least some understanding from the Jedi Council, but instead he was passed around like an unwelcome burden, ending up with Qui-Gon Jinn and then Kenobi because nobody else would have him. His chosen status meant less than nothing; it felt more like a stigma. And they wondered why he was difficult at times. Maybe they didn’t want balance, whatever that was. Maybe nobody liked a Jedi who was that different. He felt like an embarrassment to them. I do everything you ask of me. I try so hard. When is it going to be enough? When are you going to say, “Okay, Anakin Skywalker, you’re good enough”? Karen Traviss’s The Clone Wars

Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate

Impatience. Concern. Relief. Loneliness. Weariness. And grief, not yet healed. Such a muddle of emotions. Such a weight on [Anakin]’s shoulders. Months of brutal battle had left [Ahsoka] drained and nearly numb, but it was worse for Anakin. He was a Jedi general with countless lives entrusted to his care, and every life damaged or lost he counted as a personal failure. For other people he found forgiveness; for himself there was none. For himself there was only anger at not meeting his own exacting standards. [Karen Miller’s Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]

Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people

It’s not just Skywalker’s rank that makes us give him one hundred percent. It’s because he treats us with respect, and he puts himself on the line with us.” [The Clone Wars by Karen Traviss]

Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior

Having worked their way around the village, finding nothing to wake their uneasily sleeping sense of alarm, Obi-Wan and Anakin returned to the beaten-dirt square and the charter house. Its doors were open now and a woman who had to be Teeba Brandeh stood on the broad step, hands on her narrow hips, watching the children scatter across the square to play a proper game of kickball. Grinning, without bothering to ask if he might, or if it were wise, or if they had the time to spare, so independent these days, Anakin jogged to join them. After a moment’s amazed hesitation the children welcomed him with squeals of delight, rough-and-tumbled him into their midst and made him one of their own. Obi-Wan shook his head. “He’s nice,” said the girl with the bracelet and the ragged hair, wandering over to stand beside him. “Don’t be cross with him, Teeb Yavid.” Karen Miller. Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Siege

“Oh, no,” said Anakin, grinning. “It was fun too.” May the Force give me strength. “And that business with the boy? Because when I said no heavy lifting I—” Anakin’s amusement vanished. “He wasn’t heavy. These younglings are skin and bone. I look at them and—” He clenched his jaw. ”Karen Miller. Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Siege

Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations

[Anakin] did not like the fact that he had won. It seemed wrong that he had stepped so far out of line, and yet had been retained as a Padawan. He did not like the unease this victory, if victory it was, produced in him. Above all weaknesses, arrogance was the most costly. They keep me here because I have potential they’ve never seen before. They keep me in training because they’re curious to see what I can do. I feel like a rich man who never knows whether his friends are true-or whether they just want his money. This was a particularly galling thought, and certainly neither true nor fair. Why do they put up with me, then? Why do I keep testing them? [Greg Bear’s Rogue Planet]

Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others

“I’m sorry. I’m not normally this stupid. I just—” And then she felt her face crumple and heard herself sob. Her knees buckled and she began to sink toward the floor. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she choked. “Don’t mind me. I’m fine.” [Anakin] caught her before she tumbled completely. Lifted her without effort and carried her to the sofa. Boneless and unprotesting, she let him. Let her face turn to his roughly shirted, dirty chest and howled her rage and shame against him. Dimly, she felt his hand warm and comforting on her back and heard his soft voice saying, over and over, “It’s all right. It’s all right. You’re safe now. It’s all right.” The crazy thing was that she did feel safe. For the first time since those Separatist blaster bolts seared the air and sand of Niriktavi Bay, since she saw her friends and colleagues slaughtered, she felt safe. Then, abruptly, she felt mortified. What was she doing? Weeping like a child all over a man young enough to be her son? Where was her pride? She shifted away from him, unable to meet his eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—I’m sorry.” “Don’t apologize,” he said gently. “You’ve got a right to be upset. Now, where’s that medkit?”Karen Miller. Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth

Be envious of others and believe others envy them

The Jedi Council didn’t want me, either. Being the Chosen One didn’t count for anything. Master Yoda wouldn’t train me, or Windu. Every member of the Jedi Council had had something more pressing to do than help him work out what this terrible, galaxy-changing power of his meant, and how he should live in its shadow. He still wasn’t sure. Anakin recalled standing there in that grand, polished Jedi Council Chamber, surrounded by what felt like fear, and disdain, and bewilderment—who were those Masters to feel bewildered, that the only person there who cared if he lived or died was Master Qui-Gon Jinn. [Karen Traviss. The Clone Wars]

[Anakin] had worried that Obi-Wan did not have room for him in his heart. But Shmi’s smile rose in Anakin’s mind. Hearts have infinite room, my son. JUDE WATSON’S THE TRAIL OF THE JEDI

Behave in an arrogant or haughty manner, coming across as conceited, boastful and pretentious

The fear and dread in her face eased, just a little. “You’re a very sweet young man, Anakin Skywalker.” [Karen Miller’s Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]

[Anakin] humbles me, sometimes. He makes me feel small. He can’t see a broken thing without wanting to fix it. [Karen Miller’s Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]

“I don’t know,” she said, floundering. “I can’t say I’ve ever given the Jedi much thought. I mean, not as individuals. I never expected to meet one—let alone two. I don’t tend to go places where your skills are needed. But—well—you’re gentle.” [Karen Miller’s Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]

Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office

“I’m not giving him to you,” [Anakin]’d told her. “He’s not even really mine to give; when I built him, I was a slave, and everything I did belonged to Watto. Cliegg Lars bought him along with my mother; Owen gave him back to me, but I’m a Jedi. I have renounced possessions. I guess that means he’s free now. What I’m really doing is asking you to look after him for me.” “Look after him?” “Yes. Maybe even give him a job. He’s a little fussy,” he’d admitted, “and maybe I shouldn’t have given him quite so much self-consciousness—he’s a worrier—but he’s very smart, and he might be a real help to a big-time diplomat … like, say, a Senator from Naboo?”Matthew Stover. Revenge of the Sith

#ask #anon #sw meta #meta: anakin #meta: fandom #txt

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slightlyrebelliouswriter23 · 4 years

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hey so i'm hoping to get some writing advice about creative burnout? like i seem to write in fits and spurts. some months i can churn out a oneshot or chapter everyday and some months i can do one (1) creative thing only. so i'm wondering how to prevent creative burnout and how to just create more smoothly <3 thank you!

Creative Burnout & How To Ward Against It

First, I’d like to preface this all by saying you’re definitely not alone. You probably already know this, but sometimes it’s nice to be reminded.

I know from personal experience that creative burnout can leave you feeling hopeless, detached from yourself—the kind of identity crisis no one needs in 2020.

So buckle in, folks. It’s a dosy.

I. The Symptoms

Not to be the local WebMD page here, but signs of burnout can include:

Procrastination (more than usual)

Dreading writing and feeling stuck or overly perfectionistic when you try

Physical tiredness and/or irritability

Feeling like everything is monotonous

It’s more than just writer’s block. It’s a physical and emotional exhaustion response to something that goes deeper than a simple lack of inspiration. In my experience, and from a bit of research, I’ve found that what your brain is really looking for is dopamine.

Dopamine is essentially your brain’s chemical reward system for doing something interesting or exciting to you. As someone who is diagnosed with ADHD, I have chronically low levels of dopamine, so this is a constant struggle for me—but it is absolutely made worse by creative burnout.

II. The Problem

Studies have shown that the more we do A Thing the less that thing will give us dopamine (unless a component of the activity changes regularly). This is because eventually our brains desensitise to the stimuli provided by the activity, and subsequently, we become disengaged.

But it’s not necessarily The Thing (i.e. writing) that becomes boring. Actually, more than a few factors could be at play here, and the first step to finding a solution is to identify the problem.

1. ENVIRONMENT LACKS EXCITEMENT/CHANGE—

Sometimes, the monotony of everyday life can feed creative burnout. This becomes especially applicable in quarantine when you’re not leaving your house.

What we don’t realise is that even something as small as the variables of driving to and from work, or interacting with passing coworkers, gives us dopamine. So if you have the same routine every day that does not involve any added variables, your brain will begin staunching that dopamine supply.

2. EITHER TOO EASY OR TOO CHALLENGING—

In 1975, Hungarian-American psychologist, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, coined the term “flow”, which refers to a heightened state of creativity and concentration on an activity. Csikszentmihalyi posited that if your skill level is equal to the level of challenge in any given activity, you will experience this state of flow.

The chart below is taken from Csikszentmihalyi’s own study on the subject of flow and motivation. It examines “your skill level” on the x axis in relation to the “challenge level” on the y axis.

Essentially:

Too much challenge + not enough skill = anxiety, worry (which might lead to procrastination and perfectionism)

Too much skill + not enough challenge = boredom, apathy (which might lead to monotony, irritability, and other depression-like symptoms)

Skill level = Challenge level = Flow

3. NOT ENOUGH “ACTIVE” STIMULATION—

When it comes to dopamine seeking, there is a distinct difference between active and passive stimulation in the brain.

Active stimulation is any form of activity that you have to actively engage in. For instance; exercising, doing a crossword puzzle, or reading a book. These kinds of activities not only give you dopamine, they also facilitate critical thinking and problem solving thought processes, which act as catalysts for creativity.

Passive stimulation, on the other hand, comes in the form of television, social media, and YouTube. It’s anything you can consume without having to actively engage. Passive stimulation will indeed give your brain dopamine, however, it won’t activate your creativity.

The problem also lies in the speed at which you receive the dopamine from passive activities. Passive stimulation is so easy to access that the more you consume, the harder it becomes to pick up active stimulation. Your brain expects a hit of dopamine just by picking up a phone or turning on the TV—it becomes addicted to the quick fix of a Netflix binge.

III. The Solutions

Based on the problems mentioned above, I am going to list a few solutions. Keeping in mind that not every solution will work for everyone, these can act as both preventative measures and remedies for someone who is currently burned out.

1. CHANGE UP YOUR ENVIRONMENT/ROUTINE—

Aim to do at least one thing per day that will add “variables” to the monotony. This can be as simple as going on a long walk, dressing up in that bold outfit you always wanted to wear to the office but never did, or sitting at a different workspace in your home.

Anything you can do that’s simple, but might provide an extra variable to your day to spice things up. Note: this shouldn’t be the same thing every day.

2. CHALLENGE YOURSELF MORE—

If you find yourself bored by your work, try challenging yourself more. This could mean setting goals for yourself that go a bit beyond what you’ve been doing.

For example, if you’ve been writing 500 words per day, see if you can beat your own word count every day for the next week. If you’ve been writing mainly fluff pieces, switch it up and do an angst piece. See if you can write a book in a month, or start a blog where you don’t write fiction at all!

Anything you can do to add a little kick to your workload. Note: Beware of challenging yourself too much! This can lead straight back into burnout.

3. CHALLENGE YOURSELF LESS—

If you’re on the flip side of that coin, and find that you are anxious, procrastinating, and perfectionistic when it comes to writing, fret not. Just because you’re experiencing any of these things, doesn’t mean you’re incapable of doing the job with your skillset.

It just means your perception of the job needs to be shifted.

Procrastination, at its heart, is a fear of failure, which results in actively avoiding the negative emotions associated with the task that causes this fear. Perfectionism is a type of procrastination that is a combination of a fear of failure and a fear of success (or, more accurately, other’s critiques of your success) all at once.

Neither have anything to do with your actual skillset, but they have everything to do with your perception of your skillset. Obviously, this is a harder thing to fix, as it has to do with deeply ingrained levels of self-esteem.

What I can offer you is a tactic to trick your mind into thinking you’re capable.

If you have a task, big or small, and you are feeling overwhelmed by it (like you might go curl up in bed and scroll Tumblr), immediately break that task up into smaller tasks. Keep breaking up the smaller tasks until you have the smallest possible part of the bigger task without doing nothing.

Then do that smallest possible thing.

If your goal is to write a 2000 word one shot, a small part of that task is writing half of it. An even smaller part of that task is breaking the one shot up into “scenes” and writing one scene. For instance:

Jude wakes up to a sore throat, a runny nose, and a fever.

She tries to go to work, but Cardan, being the mother hen that he is, threatens to never make her another grilled cheese sandwich (her favourite food) ever again if she doesn’t stay home.

Jude agrees begrudgingly, and Cardan sits her down in front of the TV with a bottle of Gatorade. He leaves to go get medicine from the store.

When Cardan comes back, Jude is worse than before. He makes her soup and saltine crackers and spoon feeds her.

She complains the whole time and, in her feverish state, threatens to never buy him another bottle of wine (his favourite food) ever again if he doesn’t let her feed herself.

Each bullet point represents one ��scene” of about 200-400 words each. Obviously, there will be more details that you work out as you write. But with these five smaller scenes, your goal is no longer writing the 2000 word one shot. Your goal is writing the first of the five scenes.

If you complete the smallest possible task, you can stop, and you’ll still feel like you’ve accomplished something because you can cross off that task from your list. But chances are, by the time you cross off one task, you may have inspiration enough to keep going.

4. ENGAGE IN ACTIVE STIMULATION—

Since active stimulation has been proven to turn on the creative “tap”, try incorporating more of these activities into your daily routine:

Exercise: As the resident couch potato, I hate to say that exercising is good for creativity, but it is. Even if it’s just going on a short walk, so long as you’re moving.

Reading: Sometimes you have plenty of ideas, but no words to fit those ideas. Fill your well of words by carving out an hour or two each day for reading a good book.

The Creative Process: In the writing world, the creative process is a process of about 20-30 minutes that the writer partakes in every day before they start writing. This process should be creative, but also have nothing to do with writing. You can try colouring in a colouring book, painting, organising a page in your bullet journal. Anything that is creative but does not make you think about everything you have to do that day. Think of it as creative meditation.

Listen to music: Having APD, I personally can’t listen to music while I write. However, studies have shown that if you listen to at least ten songs per day, it will significantly benefit your dopamine levels and overall mood. If you’re like me and prefer to work in silence, maybe stick on a couple songs during your creative process. If you can manage music and writing together, get out those headphones!

5. KEEP A REGULAR SCHEDULE—

I know this is the most cliche point in the book, but it’s valid. This doesn’t mean do the same thing at the same time every day over and over, because ultimately we’re looking to avoid monotony.

But having pillars of structure to bolster the excitement can definitely work to keep you from slipping into burnout. Going to sleep, waking up, and having your meals at relatively the same time every day are good examples of this.

Feel free to change up the things you do between breakfast and lunch, but make sure you have those pillars of consistency so your brain knows that a break is on the horizon and doesn’t get tired.

6. PACE YOURSELF—

This is particularly difficult for those of us who are coming out of a creative burnout, but I urge you to pay special attention to this one. If we are suddenly hit by inspiration and the writing is flowing and flowing and flowing, eventually we will hit the point of highest dopamine capacity for writing.

Not putting a check on the flood of inspiration coming out of a creative burnout, I’d argue, is actually a guarantee that many of us will experience burnout all over again. It becomes this vicious cycle in which we are trapped.

While it feels great to write non-stop and receive immediate validation for that work, try to limit yourself to how much you’re writing and how immediately you post your writing (if you plan on posting it).

Whenever I finish a one shot or a chapter of something, I like to allow at least one day for editing before I post. This timeframe is important, because it acts as a buffer of rest between writing marathons.

You can take however long you need for the editing process, but definitely make sure you have a set amount of time in place. Otherwise, your brain might not have enough time to come down from what is essentially a writing high, and you will always need to reach greater heights in order to achieve that same level of dopamine.

~~~~

Overall, the most important things to take away from all of this are:

Change up your environment

Keep your brain actively stimulated

Have pillars of structure between which you can run about chaotically to your heart’s content

PACE YOURSELF!

Hope this helped. Happy writing!

-Em 🖤🗡

Writing Tip Masterlist

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Celebrate 2K with me!

#this one was a spiritual one y'all #thanks for the ask babes!#writing #writing tips #writing advice #writeblr #writing tip masterlist #writer #writer's desk #writer's life #writer's problems #writer's block #ao3 #fanfiction #creative burnout #asked and answered #em answers #danaanruhn #thank you for 2k!! 🥳💜

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kevin-day-is-bi · 4 years

Text

For my dear @frenemies-to-lovers , who is my Knife Wife!! This did turn out on the long side, but I hope you like it!

It’s a Human Thing

Cardan was absolutely, completely, and totally in love with the girl in front of him. He was also not able to focus on how amazing she was because of how odd his human pants felt against his skin. Jeans, Jude had said, thrusting them into his arms. They, she had told him, were going to buy presents. And now they were in this store, this store that was bigger than the High King’s Palace in Elfhame, where everything was bright red. Jude had a list clutched in one hand and was pushing a shopping cart, as she had called it.

“Okay,” She said, turning the cart down an aisle. “We both need to think of something for Taryn. I am going to get her a new scarf. A human scarf.” She turned to me. “You need to get her something, too.”

Cardan frowned, staring at what they were walking past. He pulled one off the shelf and popped off the lid. It was a candle.

“It’s a scented candle.” He looked up at Jude. She was leaning on the cart and smiling slightly. “Sniff it.”

He raised an eyebrow at her, then sniffed the candle lightly. It smelled like vanilla. Cardan hummed and looked at the other candles on the shelf. He pulled another one off and smelled it. It’s light, jasmine. He held it out to Jude.

“Would Taryn like this?” She smelled it and nodded. He tossed it in the cart and they kept shopping.

This was going to be Jude and Taryn’s first Christmas since they were stolen. In Elfhame, they celebrated Solstice. They celebrated it much like they celebrated everything else, with drink and dancing until dawn. Cardan had been assured that they still had drinking and dancing for Christmas, but that there were a few important differences.

Vivienne and Heather were hosting a party Christmas Eve and Christmas day, and Jude had invited the original Court of Shadows to come. Somehow, three humans and six fae were going to fit into Heather’s incredibly small apartment. When Cardan had voiced his worry, Jude had given him a look.

Cardan received a lot of looks from Jude. There was a ‘you are being very annoying’ look, a ‘you need to stop drinking now’ look, a ‘you are making me very turned on in the middle of this important meeting’ look. Cardan felt he gained a new look at least once a week. This was a new one. He was pretty sure it meant ‘if you ruin this for me I will cut off your head with Nightfell’. So he had simply assured her they would easily find the space and changed the subject.

“Ok!” Jude said, tossing a soft-looking midnight blue scarf into the cart. “Ready to go? We still need to wrap them.”

…

“Explain the hat.”

“It’s a human thing.” Cardan raised his eyebrows, looking skeptical. Jude sighed and plunked the red-and-white hat down on his head. “There’s this story they tell kids, I don’t know where it came from, but this fat old man goes around the world Christmas night and delivers presents to all the kids who have been nice, and coal to all the kids who have been naughty.”

“Is he a fae?” Jude made a face.

“Not that we know of.”

“But he is magic?”

“Yep.”

Cardan tilted his head, soft black hair falling over one eye. Jude had her hair pulled back in a thick knot, and Cardan found himself wishing he could run his fingers through it.

Decorating was more fun than Cardan had thought it would be. There was a tree - not real, Vivienne had said with a scoff. Real ones were messy, - and several garlands of holly strung over windows and doors. Heather had pulled out several boxes of decorations from somewhere. Jude had held the plastic and glass ornaments in her hands every time before she hung them up, seemingly trying to comprehend their existence. Cardan was helping, although he wasn’t entirely sure he was doing it right. There didn’t seem to be much of a pattern, it was more of ‘hang things up where you want’.

Oak was also helping, though he was doing more talking than hanging. Cardan found himself fascinated by tales of mortal school; hearing a fae child talk about lunch lines and playing games felt like the whole world was slightly tilted.

“Oh, and in art class we made Christmas decorations! We cut out snowflakes and glued them to blank CDs and decorated them with Sharpies and gems. I brought mine home.”

Oak ran to the door and dug around in his backpack, pulling out the ornament. It was slightly misshapen, with very bright red and green scribbles on it. Cardan raised a brow, but Jude grabbed it and hung it up right in the front.

“I hope you aren’t ruining the tree,” Vivienne called from the kitchen. Cardan examined the tree. It had several empty spots and looked as though they had simply thrown the boxes at it.

“No,” He called back, and Oak snickered. Vivienne came in balancing a tray of mugs and began passing them out. It was hot chocolate with white floating things in it.

“What are these?” He asked. Heather, having followed Vivienne in, gasped.

“You’ve never had marshmallows?” She looked horrified, and distantly Cardan wondered if she was as horrified as him on the first night Jude had kissed him. He doubted it. Oak jumped up and down, sloshing his hot chocolate down his arms.

“They’re amazing! They’re fluffy and light and sweet and you have to try one.”

Cardan hesitantly took a sip, catching a marshmallow as he did it. After a moment of thoughtful chewing, he nodded.

“I believe I do enjoy marshmallows,” He said, trying to get another one with his next sip. Oak giggled.

When Cardan looked up, he noticed Jude giving him another look. He had seen this look before. ‘You are incredibly attractive right now and I am struggling not to throw myself at you with wild abandon’ was the general meaning of it. Cardan was not one to leave and let lie, so he smirked at her, showing just a flash of teeth. Her chin jutted out, challenge ripping through her eyes.

Cardan went for another sip, but someone knocked on the door. Vivienne went to get it, but when she opened the door she inhaled sharply.

“It’s a fae,” She said, voice quiet. Jude and Cardan looked at each other and walked over. It was indeed a small fae, short and furry with distressingly long teeth.

“My King,” The creature gasped, bowing. “My Queen.”

“Yes, what is it?” Cardan was annoyed. He had hoped not to be called upon, just for tonight and tomorrow.

“Your pardon, Majesties. I was told to bring this to you.” The fae held out a cream envelope with a shaking hand. The thick red seal on the back had already been broken, but Cardan could see it was Madoc’s.

Next to him, Jude drew in a sharp breath. Cardan unfolded the letter and scanned the few short lines of text. Wordlessly, he passed it to Jude. She gave him a quick look and read the letter. Cardan was carefully still, shoulders tight. Her head jerked up to look up at him.

To Their Majesties,

I will arrive at sundown. I am excited to see the girls and Oak. I am bringing presents.

…

“He’s coming?” Jude stared, wide-eyed, at Vivienne. Vivienne was leaning against the counter, hands wrapped around a mug of coffee. Her own cat eyes went huge, and she pushed off the counter.

“He isn’t supposed to be.” Vivienne set her mug down and put her hands on her hips. “He certainly isn’t coming into this apartment.”

Next to her, Taryn pursed her lips and shifted. She fixed her attention on her own cup of coffee and took a sip.

“Taryn?” Cardan cocked his head slightly. “How do you feel about Madoc coming over?” She mumbled something into her coffee, not looking at any of them. Jude spun to her, eyes narrowed.

“What was that?” Taryn lowered her cup and reached a hand up to push her hair over her shoulder. She still wasn’t looking at them.

“I may have invited him.”

“What?” Vivienne and Jude spoke at once.

“Well, he raised us! This is his first Christmas and he’s in the mortal world and we haven’t payed him any heed and I wanted to be nice.” Jude stared at her, horrified. “It’s not like he can ruin the whole day. Even he doesn’t have that much power.”

“He almost took over all of Elfhame.” Jude grabbed Taryn’s shoulders, shaking her a little. “He ruined our childhoods and almost ruined both Cardan and I’s reign! Why would you think he can’t ruin Christmas?!”

Taryn looked taken aback. Cardan crossed his arms. She really should have thought this through.

“I thought-” Taryn bit her lip. “Maybe Oak would want to see him.” Everyone craned their necks to see into the living room where Oak was furiously typing on a laptop. Jude was the first to snap out of it.

“Maybe, but if they miss each other a half-hour visit in the park does just fine.” There was something in Jude’s voice, and Cardan turned to look at her. There was anger and annoyance, but Cardan could see in the tightness of her mouth eyes that she was worried, as well. Worried and scared and hurt.

Taryn kept stammering, but Cardan stopped paying her any attention. He watched Jude, watched the annoyance and anger crest, watched her eyes turn stormy. She turned and left in the middle of Taryn’s pleading to Vivienne, who was just watching with narrowed eyes. Taryn stared after Jude. Cardan followed, nodding slightly to Vivienne as he went.

Jude stormed to her bedroom and stood by the small window. Cardan shut the door quietly behind them and perched on the bed. He remained silent, waiting for her to speak. She broke after only a few short moments.

“I don’t want him here.” Her breath was coming short and fast as she crossed her arms. “I don’t care if it’s childish. This is my first Christmas since I was six, our first break since Eldred stepped down, the first time we are together and not being attacked, not fighting, not having to plan and plot and handle Orlagh or Nicasia or Locke. I wanted a time where I could be with Vivienne and not be mad at Taryn and see Oak smile.”

She broke off, tilting her head back slightly. When she spoke again, it was softer than before. “He has been a presence in my life forever. Even before I knew it, my life was ruled by him. I just wanted this nice human holiday without him.”

Her voice rose, and she lashed out a hand and punched the wall. The plaster cracked ever so slightly, and Jude grunted softly. Cardan rose and skirted the bed, going to stand by her. He took her hand gently. Her knuckles were red, and one of them had split open. He glanced up at her face.

To say she was angry was to say the sea around Elfhame was wet. True, as he couldn’t lie, but vastly underplaying. Cardan had never wished more that he could lie, just so he could hold her and tell her Madoc wouldn’t ruin anything. But Madoc was in the habit of ruining things. Jude sniffled. Cardan looked at her in surprise.

“I’m not going to cry,” She said sullenly. “Unless it’s out of anger.”

Cardan hummed and pulled her close. He tucked her head under his chin and rubbed her arms. Cardan had found out that when Jude was upset, physical touch grounded her. Otherwise, she got in her head and spiraled into anger. Cardan, having the opportunity to touch someone he loved for the first time in his life, was all too willing to comply.

“I can’t stay here,” Jude whispered. “Not with him, not in the same apartment. I don’t want to fight, and I know he’ll ruin it.” She sighed, shoulders hunching under his grip. “I suppose we can go back to Elfhame.” She didn’t sound thrilled. Cardan wished he could just snap his fingers and disappear Madoc.

“If we go back to Eflhame,” Cardan said, mumbling into Jude’s hair. “We could spend the night in my rooms. We need not deal with anyone else.” She pulled back and wrenched her head towards the window.

“I don’t have a choice. I simply cannot be in the same apartment as him.” Cardan straightened. Spending Christmas alone was not the worst idea, but it was for Jude. Cardan wondered…

“Come back to Elfhame, and I will try to distract you.” Jude flashed him a smile.

“You always do such a good job.”

…

Jude opened the carved door. Hair dripping down her back from her bath, she slipped into a blood-red doublet and thick green tights. She sighed, relishing the feeling of the velvet and wool against her skin. It felt like home.

She squeezed out her hair, then braided it back. Cardan had said he had to do something, then left her to bathe. The bath hadn’t been pleasant, all her anger and fury and worry over Madoc coming out in great heaving gasps. When she had dragged herself out, she had sworn not to think about him for the remainder of the night or for Christmas tomorrow.

Someone knocked on her door, and she rushed to open it. She blinked in surprise. It was Fand, out of her usual armour and in a black doublet. Fand bowed.

“Your Majesty. The King asked me to find you.”

Jude reached back inside the door and found her boots, the comfortable worn leather supple beneath her hands as she laced them up. Then she followed Fand, slightly confused. Fand did not lead her to the throne room, instead leading her to a small dining room attached to Cardan’s rooms.

When Fand nodded at her and opened the doors, Jude was taken aback. Inside, someone had put up a large pine tree, and it was covered in bright berries and soft glittering cloths. The whole room seemed to shimmer, and wreaths were flung over every chair and onto the mantlepiece. But what was more shocking were the fae inside.

Surrounding the table were Cardan, The Bomb, The Roach, The Ghost, and Grima Mog, all dressed in fineries. Fand slunk by her and joined them, cerulean skin standing out against the soft browns and greens. The Roach even had on a velvet Santa hat, though it looked odd on him.

Cardan stepped forward, holding two spun glass cups of wine. He handed one to her, taking a sip of the other. Jude shut her mouth, which had fallen open slightly, and gave him a grin.

“Merry Christmas,” He said, the words sounding odd in his mouth. Jude laughed, taking Cardan’s goblet and setting both of theirs aside. She flung herself at him, hugging him tightly enough he gasped for breath. The Bomb cheered loudly as Jude kissed him. She reveled in the softness of his mouth. He put his mouth to her ear and breathed. “I love you with all of my shabby, worm-eaten, and scabrous heart.”

“I love you, too,” She whispered back, laughing again and clutching him tighter.

Merry Christmas!!!

Thank you, @jurdannet and @jurdannetrevels, for hosting this!

#Jurdan #Jude duarte #cardan greenbriar #high queen of elfhame #christmas #christmas fluff #@frenemies-to-lovers #knife wife #secret snusband

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misterghostfrog · 4 years

Text

So I was reading someones post about what if Jon went back in time to save everyone, and he managed it. He kept Martin away from Prentiss, he Kept Sasha alive, Tim never even know the unknowing existed and he never had Jons paranioa to ruin him. But They never knew, there was never those moments of bonding between the terror. Martin never had that moment when he realized Jon wasn’t just his shitty boss. And sure the assistants were close, but there was no room for Jon. And it gave me thoughts.

Under the cut bc I started to Ramble and it got Long, warning; its Big Sad Hours down there. No happy endings here.

Jon solves all these problems before they start, he fixes it without anyone ever knowing. The assistants are blissfully unaware, maybe he stops sending them on ‘real’ statement followup. The archives are a normal, safe job for all of them. Sometimes it gets too much, pretending he doesn’t know them. So he’ll record, mostly for himself. Sometimes for them, though he’ll never share. He sticks them all in Gertrude's old storage locker, where he knows they’ll never be found.

And then something goes wrong. He knows the unknowing can’t work, of course it can’t. But Nikola doesn’t, none of the avatars know. And Nikola still wants her skin. She still wants his skin, actually. And she’s not afraid to play dirty to get it, she’s hands-on like that. Because why stop at the archivist when he’s got so many lovely ignorant assistants?

So he fixes the problem before she can make good on her threats, she can’t be killed that easily. He knows. But she died during the unknowing, and there are some pretty simple steps to follow to replicate that result. He knows the easiest way to make sure it works is also a death sentence for him. But that’s a simple choice to make. Alright no, it’s not. He’s terrified of death, of dying. He doesn’t want to die, but he can lie to himself. He can delude and say maybe he’ll get another chance. And just in case, he makes sure the assistants know they can quit now.

Tim, Sasha, and Martin don’t know what to make of the news that their boss died mysteriously in an explosion. They know even less what to make of the notes he left them.

Clearly the ramblings of a very unstable man. They all knew Jon was a bit off but this... Well, they all know there’s something weird about the job. But the apocalypse? Really?

Sasha believes some of it, she’s worked in artifact storage. She’s seen what this stuff can do. But, well. Jon’s never come off as the most stable person, and with no proper proof to back up any of this there’s no reason for them to follow suit. After all she’s known lots of people to quit the institute, she even knows for a fact that Eric Delano did it when she was rooting through employee records for perfectly rational legal reasons.

Then Martin gets called up to Elias’s office, and gets the news he’s the new head archivist.

He tries to turn it down, but he’s offered a pay-raise and a promise that he can step down anytime if he doesn’t feel suited to the position. Elias just sees so much potential in him.

Martin tries to feel flattered and not thoroughly terrified by the way Elias says potential. He takes the promotion, after all, he can always step down if it’s too much.

He offers as much when he finds out Sasha probably should have been given the position, but she turns him down. It’s not his fault their boss is a sexist old bastard, and at this rate he’d probably just turn around and give it to Tim.

Things are normal for a few months. Until slowly a strange noise starts to be heard around the archives, a weird sort-of squishing sound with no source. Along with a metallic scent of meat.

An infestation, of course. They’re getting the problem worked on, or so Elias says. But aside from the occasional exterminator coming in to ‘take a look’ nothing ever seems to change. Weird statements start showing up on Martins desk, surrounding meat and twisted up things, eaten alive and wrong. Suddenly he understands how Jon went off his rocker so easily.

It’s hard to believe all this supernatural stuff as it’s suddenly getting crammed down his throat, after so long of the archives being normal in almost every sense of the word it’s like missing a step on the staircase. The more awful statements he finds- that Tim and Sasha confirm -the more he realizes how much his boss was hiding from them.

He wants to quit, he thinks about it, he tries to think about it. But he just, can’t.

It’s another or two month before it happens. Meat and bone and gristle erupt from the floor, taking on horrible mangled shapes of almost-humans reaching out with hands full of teeth and hungry.

They all survive, though Tim gets eaten up a bit more than the rest of them. And they’ll all have nightmares for the rest of their lives. They’re alive.

And they find Gertrude’s body, though none of them know how to feel about it. They’ve realized by now there’s something to Jon’s nonsensical ramblings. And they’re long past regretting not quitting before this all happened.

There’s a section of document storage that got uncovered during the cleaning,an old cot that was shoved behind some of the shelves, and a box that had a few sets of clothes, an old teacup, and a key. The cleaners say they burned the clothes, but the cup and the Key are given to Martin for him to keep to return to whoever left their things in the archive.

Neither of those items belong to Tim or Sasha, so they all assume they belonged to Jon.

They start following Jons footsteps, they find out he was a suspect in an arson case surrounding Carlos Vittery’s old apartment. Nobody was there except one unidentified body. He was arrested for trespassing on a dock, though no charges were filed. There was an incident that ended in the near arrest of one Jude Perry, though no charges were filed and she soon fell off the grid. And then he exploded using C4 he had no way of getting, Nothing concrete, no proper genuine evidence except a series of weird encounters their dead boss had.

Martin Decides to try and hunt down Jude Perry, it takes some time. He has a very nice cup of tea with one Micheal Crew. Who points him in a general direction and is just a bit weird about tall buildings.

Martin finds Jude, and asks her about Jon. She laughs at him, of course. But she tells him anyway. Jon was trying to have her arrested- no, not arrested. Killed. Officer Tonner would have seen to that, he knew one of the Hunt could do her in, well. At least of Officer Tonner’s sort anyway. Jude resisted, naturally. He escaped her clutches only barely, by running. Like a coward. And she escaped the policewoman by playing innocent. She’s still on her tail though, damn dog. It’ll be a long time before she’d rid of her, but she knows better than to run. Oh, he doesn’t know what any of that means, does he? Oh he really doesn’t, how sweet. Just a little baby archivist- she was going to kill him after this. But watching him stumble into his own ruin will be so much more fun.

She sends him on his way with a burn.

Martin is terrified, he genuinely tries to quit. Almost manages it before his computer shuts off. The others try too, and then they all have a lovely freak-out together.

They decide to try and talk to Detective Tonner, which proves easy. She’s the partner of the one who’s been interviewing them. She comes to the institute, and they ask her about Jon. She tells them they believed he was responsible for killing Gertrude, seeing as he was next in line. Martin accidentally Compels her into a statement, and then into admitting she's mostly just saying he killed her because dead men don’t put up fights.

She threatens him right then and there, though Basira comes in and intervenes before anything happens. He files a dispute with the station, and avoids the police after that.

Basira brings him some of the tapes, she says it’s an apology. He’s pretty sure she’s just trying to get him to drop the dispute in the weirdest way possible. He does learn some about Gertrude though, and through her what he’s dealing with. And something about an ‘unknowing’

A man named peter Lukas visits the institute, one of the doners. Elias says he wants to see how the archive runs, Lukas says a few choice words about it. And Martin tells him in the most polite of terms to shove off. Lukas threatens him, and very briefly makes him forget everyone he’s ever loved. And then tells him he got off lucky, and that Elias should have picked a better archivist. You can hardly trust someone so childish to run something as important as this now can you.

Daisy visits him in his home, and threatens him in much more physical terms now. She tells him if he tries to do what he did to her again he’ll get more than a scar.

After that it’s a bit unclear how he gets marked by the next two (Curruption, Stranger.) but he does.

There’s a delivery, a few weeks after the stranger mark. It’s not supernatural in any sense, just a young woman dropping off a small box in the archivists office. She says her name is Georgie, and no, she doesn’t know what’s in the box. She just had an old friend tell her to deliver it if he didn’t check in after a bit. Then she found out he died on the news, and then she hadn’t wanted to deliver them- clearly whatever was in the box was going to get someone killed. And she wasn’t scared of it, she wasn’t one for fear, but the thought of putting anyone in danger made her skin crawl. But she didn’t want it in her house, and she refused to be haunted be this box forever. And there was no reason to defy the poor guys apparent final wishes- wait, why was she saying all this again?

In the box was tapes, a dozen or so of them. All addressed to ‘the next head archivist’

It’s Jon’s voice, on the tapes. Talking to who he apparently assumes to be an entire stranger, explaining the fears. And how Smirkes 14 wasn’t wrong, but wasn’t right either. It tells the next archivist to avoid eyes, paintings, doodles, abstract representations, and to keep playing dumb. There’s a lot out there, and the more you know the worse it gets. There’s no fighting, don’t struggle the nets already around you. There’s a way out, but you’re not going to like it.

It gives an odd image of Jon, the man who awkwardly tried to make small-talk int he break room, only to shuffle away after it fell flat. Carrying this world-ending secret on his shoulders. Stiff, awkward Jon. Grim, sad Jon. not so far apart but still so far outside of what Martin had known about him.

What had Martin known about him?

Tim decides to quit, Sasha stays. Elias hires Melanie. Who turns out to be another connection to Jon.

Melanie says he was kind of a prick, he belived her about her Sarah incident, but refused to give her library access. Probably because he was sexist, or maybe just a dickhead. She’d been trying to learn more about her encounter for ages. And this was finally her chance. They try to explain the way out but she won’t listen.

Martin starts following Gertrudes tapes, things about the unknowing have been popping up on his desk lately, and it sounds like Jon was right about an apocalypse. He goes to america, gets a bit kidnapped, and meets Gerry. He offers to help, and then asks about the unknowing. Gerry points him towards the storage locker. And when he gets back He and Sasha and Melanie check it out.

It’s mostly empty, apparently somewhat recently cleared out. Though in the corner there’s a large box of Tapes. There has to be dozens of them, and when they pres play it’s Jon. Talking to them. Except it’s not them, it’s another version of them, and something this version.

And there’s another Jon to add to the mystery of a man he was. The jon on these tapes isn’t stiffly awkward or forcedly professional. He’s open, sad. He cries, he laughs at memories they don’t have. He apologizes, a lot. Too much really. He talks about time travel, about forgetting faces and losing friends.

“Sometimes I-I think- I can’t help but be a bit... upset. At how unfair it all is. You’re all happy and laughing and together and i’m-

i’m alone.

I suppose it must be some sort of- cosmic Karma, I doomed the world so in this new one bright an new I pay my penance in isolation.

Or maybe it’s the other way around. I doom the world- suffer its horrors, and get a little bit of time to taste what humanity would be like.

Or maybe i’m just not that likable without an apocalypse.

Probably says a lot about me either way.

Is it bad that I- I sometimes consider letting things play their course? W-without any of you dying of course I just... I suppose it is bad, to want to end the world because you’re lonely. Just because i’m a bit sad doesn’t mean the planet should suffer, no... maybe i’ll try and reconnect with Georgie, it’s been... well. No. Perhaps best not.”

Sasha says that if she knew she would have at least brought him out for drinks or something.

But they did sort-of know didn’t they? Not about the apocalypse, but about the loneliness. After all, nobody chats so awkwardly in the break room because they have a thriving social life.

“I’m going to kill Nikola tonight- i’m not going to die. I’m not. I didn’t die last time, a-and there’s no reason for that to change. T-there isn’t. I’m going to try and be a safe distance from the blast this time, too. But... Well, it’s not like I have anyone to miss me if I do go.

I suppose... Martin, if you’re listening to this- I... I miss you. You always did say I should be more open with my feelings, and it’s weird. To miss someone who’s right there. T-to look at a face and see a friend and a stranger. To love someone you’ve known for years who doesn’t even really know who you are.

It’s all very stranger, ironic really. Considering what i’m about to do.

I love you, and I miss you. I know you’re not listening, even if I did die you’ve probably long since quit. I hope you’re happy, whatever you’re doing. Happy and safe. All of you.

And maybe you are listening, maybe... maybe we do become friends, maybe you actually choose to talk to me someday. Maybe I tell you about all of this and... And you don’t think i’m mad. Maybe you let me take you out to dinner and we’d be together again. We’d never be like before- not that that’s a bad thing what with the eldritch horrors. There’d be bits missing, memories we don’t share- but, it would still be you... It’s always been you, I think. And maybe I've decided to give this to you as some sort of silly romantic gesture.

A-and in that case. I love you, Martin Blackwood. More than you’ll ever know.

[HE SIGHS]

When I come back, i’m recording over this.”

[CLICK]

But he didn’t come back. He died that night. He died loving Martin, who never even really knew him beyond passing awkward conversation. Martin doesn’t know how to feel about it, besides guilty that is.

The tapes point them towards Georgie Barker, the woman who delivered the other set to the archives.

Georgie doesn’t really want anything to do with them, she knows whatever they’re stewing in got Jon killed. But she tells them about her encounter with The End, though she’s tetchy afterwards. Martins finally starting to understand this whole compelling business and is feeling pretty sorry about it. He redirects, he starts to ask about Jon. Who he was, really. What she knew he was like.

They talk, Martins curiosity is part Eye and part knowing that someone loved him, really, really loved him. And feeling like he missed out, like he skipped a train he hadn’t known was there. And wanting to know what kind of person would- could love him the way Jon did. And why that kind of person could end the world.

They talk, Georgie explains why they broke up (clashing ideals, he didn’t believe in the supernatural and her trauma was so inherently tied to it. He was a sleep-clinger and she kicked when she dreamed) And why it took so long for them to break up (Jon was funny once you learned to get his jokes, the Admiral loved him, he had a weird way of caring that was really sweet) they talk about things, Georgie lets him hang out with her as long as he promises to keep the supernatural out of their conversations. And how is Melanie doing by the way?

Sasha has a hard time splitting her time in the archive and helping Tim. He can manage himself of course but it’s hard knowing he’s sitting in her flat alone, he’s getting back into publishing though. Sleeping easier now he knows that not only is he free of the eye, but Jon very much killed the thing that killed Danny. He only wishes he could have been the one to pull the trigger. Sasha is getting more involved though, the eye has it’s own grip on her.

They finally confront Elias. They know it won’t do any good, Jons tapes explained what he was, who he was. But they’re frustrated. Low on options. Jon never really explained what the apocalypse was- if Martins learned anything from the other tapes it’s probably because he forgot, thought he did somewhere and didn’t.

Elias isn’t entirely surprised that they’ve figured it out, he knew something was going on. Though he wasn’t quite sure what. He claims he knows what oncoming apocalypse Jon was talking about, and that he was likely underestimating the amount.

He sends them to Ny-Ålesund. And Martin views the black sun. Gets briefly taken hostage by Manuela. And gets “saved” by a man who pops out of a door to stab her.

He says his name is Micheal, and he’s not there to help. He does his whole distortion bit, confuses them. Stabs Martin when he tries to take his statement. Says he was going to kill him, but what happens next might be much better than death. And leaves after stating that he’s very excited to watch how the rest of this plays out.

They go back to the institute, and Elias says he must have been wrong. Oopsie. Anyway the web is planning a ritual you should go check out the spooky house from all these statements.

They meet Annabelle in person, Martin gets marked by the web.

This continues on for the end the slaughter and the buried. They finally confront Elias again about these wild goose chases, he claims innocence but he’s done it enough times they don’t believe him. They stop trusting Elias. Not that they ever really did, but they stop listening to him.

Melanie isn’t as angry as she was. Though she is still angry. She didn’t go to india so no ghost bullet, but she’s still trapped. Though she knows how to quit, it’s been a scary idea. But the longer she stays the more she realizes how low she is on options. So she quits.

Martin is angry, he’s exhausted, he’s confused. Nothing makes sense. And another one of Elias’s goddamn doners is visiting. A weird old man who, when he shakes his hand, makes him feel like he just dropped off a rollercoaster at a million miles into empty nothingness. He laughs when Martins regained himself, and says that that tricks better than a buzzer every time.

He visits Georgie again, he’s thinking about quitting. But he can’t figure out what the apocalypse he’s supposed to stop is, because according to Jon it’s pretty bad. And he’s the one who can stop, or maybe start, it. But he doesn’t know what it is.

He talks to Georgie about Jon some more, it’s funny, to grieve a man you already knew. Except four years too late. There’s a sort-of helpless frustration to it, every time he talks about Jon he wishes he could be learning this first-hand. Not from someone who hadn’t spoken to him in years before this.

He also finds himself glued to the tapes, he can relate, in a way. To Jons loneliness. To have a person so, so close but so far away. He wishes he could meet the Jon on the tapes now. Then neither of them would have to be lonely. But Jon is dead. And Martin... Martin might love Jon. Jon, who died years ago. A dead man who apparently loved him enough to consider ending the world for the chance to have a real conversation with him.

He goes back to work, frustrated and so, so lost. A million questions that genuinely can’t be answered. There’s a fresh statement on his desk. It’s a statement of Jonah Magnus, regarding stopping the apocalypse.

Certainly a goddamn roundabout way of giving Martin information, but he’ll take it.

He reads the statement.

The world ends.

Sasha, Tim, Melanie, and Georgie all get their own domains. And wander free in the hills of suffering. Martin is alone, well and truly alone. He ended the world, because he was too stupid and sad to read a few extra paragraphs before starting the tape.

But Jon went back, didn’t he? He went back in time and stopped this once. Maybe Martin can too. Maybe he can stop the flesh from attacking, maybe he can stop Melanie from joining the institute. Maybe he can meet the real Jon.

He goes back, he does it. Nobody remembers but him.

Nobody remembers but him.

And things keep happening he can’t have predicted.

Worms, Sasha is gone, Gertrude. It’s all wrong. And Jon isn’t the Jon he knew, he doesn’t know Martin, he doesn’t even like Martin. Nobody is the person he knew before.

He is alone. And things keep happening he can’t have predicted, worms tables and paranoia. He starts recording. Trying to follow in Jon’s footsteps and leave information behind, easier to access this time of course. In his flat, and he’ll have the key sent to the archives if something goes wrong. He’ll record until Jon trusts him enough to believe him, Maybe he’ll even stop him before it’s too late and he’ll never need to find out what happened at all. Maybe he can't get close as he was to everyone, but he can keep them safe.

He doesn’t get to finish his recordings, he wasn’t careful enough. Jonah catches wind and half the tapes are destroyed when he dies in a mysterious housefire. But what’s left does get delivered to the archives.

And the cycle continues.

#jonmartin #the magnus archives #tma #angst #writing #ghostly scribbles #Tma is a tragedy and so is this #not a proper fic more like a really weird outline

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jess-the-vampire · 3 years

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Sky And The Forces Of The Multiverse, Chapter 51

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Sky had to admit, she was impressed with her own magic skill by this point, even if the progress she was making seemed minimal. She never really tried to dip down much, it's not something anyone can just...do after all, it takes time and work. There was probably no way she could do it by the time the plan would come to action but training couldn't hurt either.

Especially if it was to protect a friend.

Even trying to shoot magic from her hands drove sky crazy, how did judas do this so naturally? Guess when you grow up doing magic like this you don't have to go through so much training to get it to work. Sky was half human too, who knows how that might affect her powers even if she did go through mewberty. She kinda felt silly trying to do magic like this, throwing out her hands and shout spells...but it was better then nothing.

Angel could do magic normally, no wand required.

Lucky.

He was getting better, he'd probably been practicing a lot in his spare time, probably to show off to his mom. His aim was far improved and he seemed far stronger at his spellcasting, from what magic he knew . Sky felt she spent more time watching him then making any progress, if even if it was just to get an idea of how to make her magic work a little.

It was probably pointless anyway.

Unlocking that kinda magic required a lot more to trigger it, otherwise sky wouldn't get very far no matter hoe hard she was trying. Strong emotional reactions were surefire, like...how she nearly attacked her mom...and the masked person, and...other happenings. Those were close but not really the results she was looking for either, she was looking for something like angel had.

Where he went berserk...over her getting hurt.

Wow they both had a bad habit of going evil when they ever did unlock this magic huh? That was both scary and...kinda neat in a weird way, though last thing sky needed was to make herself look worse then she did. Angel could tell she was having trouble, though he wasn't judging, he knew it wasn't going to be easy. "Maybe like...try and clear your mind and stuff? I think that's supposed to help, so you can focus?", that might've been more harsh then it needed to be,

But sky didn't seem to care.

"I can try".

She wasn't good at clearing her head, there was always too much going on in her mind for something like that to even happen. Even now, her mind was going back to judas and the plan. It was like a bug that refused to just leave the room, no matter what she wanted. She grumbled as she sat down on the grass, "Ugh, i can't focus, i'm too worried and everything".

She kicked at the dirt underneath her, "It was different last time, i wasn't trying to do anything intentionally, i just got really upset and for a moment...blam...magic. Now...it's not the same, i only had those outbursts because you got in danger or i felt upset...and i can't channel things all the time like that...like...why can't me being happy channel that same power?".

"Well, maybe you're just not feeling that kinda emotional nearly as strongly right now?", he shot out another web, hitting the wall with perfect accuracy now, "I guess maybe training and stuff happening in real time just...don't feel the same way...even i haven't been able to master my own form...so i think it just means...we have a lot channeling to do".

"You've been learning from eclipsa huh?".

"I did at times stay late with her...she...likes my presence and helping me...not that i ever got too far with it. Clearing your head is supposed to help but also...you can focus on a memory with a strong reaction, that can help your magic too sometimes...so...maybe we should do that? Channel strong memories...i mean i don't know if happy ones really will do much for me to control a raging monster but...".

"Angel, that's a good idea, maybe if i do clear my head properly i can like...channel something, maybe, Mom never really explained the process to me, but it's worth a shot".

He smiled, his ears perking up, "Oh, well, glad i can be of some kind of help then! Maybe it'll work a lot better for you then me, i'm still pretty far behind on my own magic" He shot another spell and sky went back to focusing, seeing if she could recover any strong memories to trigger something. She went back to the chandelier incident, reminded of the party and her performance.

It was hard to channel the anger she had when he mother spoke to her the way she did. in fact it was a hard memory to fully recover at all. Maybe she had to go and try and new one to see if she had better results, she had to have other moments. Right, the time angel was nearly killed and that set her off like crazy, that was also a rather insane moment of magic for her.

She hadn't been so full of rage in a long time.

Though she was worried how she'd react to that memory again.

She had to take a moment to chill and breath, holding her hand out before the memory came back to her. She didn't want to accidentally blow up the entire garden if she wasn't careful about her own actions up to this point. Granted, blowing up a wall wasn't exactly a better option but well, she was going to have to take some risks somewhere it seemed.

She felt her cheeks puff up, remembering the pure anger of angel nearly being killed down by some freak.

Angel stepped back, a slight bit of glow in the princess's cheeks, but it quickly faded, the memory was strong but because nothing was happening it didn't appear the have nearly the same strength. Sky sighing, her hand touching her marks, "Well, it's a start...i guess i should be happy we got a reaction at all...i guess that whole thing...really had me upset".

Angel sent a sad smile her way.

"Hey, i'm just glad you cared at all...i'm...i wasn't sure anyone would if things went wrong...i kinda went into the thing knowing there was a good chance i might not make it out alive all things considered...it...was probably a dumb idea when i think more about it".

She snorted in his direction, "Dude, of course we'd care if something happened to you...but...it doesn't seem to be enough to get me to really unlock my abilities...for now...but...i'll take it. At least it's better then nothing.". She sighed before going back to tryin to do more spells with no success, "I'll figure this out...hopefully...if i could just...get a better grip on my emotions...and with enough practice...". She watched angel go back to doing spells, thoughtful, "Hey...thanks for doing this with me...it's really nice".

"Yeah of course...it's not fully for you though, i...wanna be able to protect myself as well, i wasn't very good before...and i don't want to feel vulnerable again, i felt so...powerless when i almost got killed...and i need to keep my strength up". He shot spells at the wall even harder, "I'm glad you're protecting me but i also don't want to feel so weak either...i want to be able to defend myself if anything happens again...want to know i can...take care of myself when i'm a leader".

"I can't blame you on that one, i would do the same if i was in your shoes", her feet scratched the dirt, making a neat little imprint with it," i just hope it doesn't end up feeling like you're protecting me when i should be looking out for you". Angel stopped casting his spells, quick to notice her change in tone, "It shouldn't have to be a one vs another thing...we should be...looking out for each other...all of us".

"But if i don't get better soon, i'll be worthless for the plan".

"Sky, look, maybe this is something better said by jude and everything but...you're more then your magic, you spent a lot of time beating me without knowing much magic at all, you don't need it to do good...even if you don't learn to dip down...i trust you'll do great out there". The princess took a moment before gently pushing him, laughing, "You're right...i did kick your ass pretty good without it".

"Ok but you don't have to remind me of that...", sky snickering as she got back into focusing, "Says the person who kept a whole journal of all the times we fought, you're far more guilty of this then i am". He blushed as she got back in focus, "Maybe if things get bad, i can really taze the guy, that outta pack a punch and they might not even see it coming either".

"Well, i didn't think they'd avoid my bite either but...you know how that went, but i have faith in you princess."

Sky snickered, "Well, i can say this for sure, next time, your teeth won't miss, i'm sure of it". The laughs ringing in the air as sky enjoyed the moment, she really needed this, and angel made sure she got the break and night to make amends she deserved. And for once, sky felt confident maybe she could actually get the hang of this magic thing properly.

She had the support to help at least.

"You ok landon?".

Landon peeked through the window of the carriage at bernard's house, seeing rhombulus parked outside and feeling his whole body shake. "Do i look ready mom? I'm a mess, i should've fixed myself up a lot more, how am i supposed to go in there and be cool with him when i'm sweaty and freaked out?". He raised an arm to display and marco quickly made him move it back down.

"Landon, it's going to be just fine, do like you practiced".

"This is different, he's going to be looking at me and watching me talk, i'm not even sure about how he's going to react, he might just want to be friends and friends only. All that time i spent and thing might get worse between us and we never talk again". Once again marco found themsleves trying to comfort the boy, handing him some water, "you'll be ok, just take it easy".

'I'm sorry mom, it's just...what if i can't do it? i'm worried i can't".

"Landon, it's going to be just fine, i'll be waiting out here if you need me to make a quick getaway ok? But you have to finally face him down, i know you're scared but this time you're going to have to put that to the side and be brave for both you and bernard on this one. He needs this as much as you do, closure, and he won't be able to rest until you both have it".

Landon slumped back, "Guess i just don't want to know what his final answer will be".

"But you know you have to...".

"Yeah...".

"Landon, it's going to be ok, i promise...i know you're nervous, but it's going to be ok, just go in there and do your best. I have plenty of faith that things will work out between you two, you both seemed to care about each other a lot, and i doubt you won't be friends still after this". The demon nodded, his mother comforting him to the best of their ability, his hands gripping each other tight.

His mother kissed his cheek, "Hey, if you need to bail out at any point, i'm here, but i believe in you...ok?". Landon gulped before finally getting out of the carriage, lucky he was even allowed to on on this trip at all. This was not an emergency and everyone was very uncomfortable even going to other dimensions at this point, but marco insisted this was important.

And it was, for landon.

Rhombulus seemed to disapprove of this choice, sneering as the kid got closer, but letting him in anyway.

He was expected after all.

The rest of the commission were inside and the parents of this lovely home seemed more then used to them now. As used as one to get to having three interdimensional gods living in their home. They were eating their snacks, sitting on heir couches, and chilling as if nothing was happening. Guess they had to be a little bored by now, but still, it was a serious job.

Imagine they came back and hey were following asleep like this? And they thought things were bad before.

Landon spotted bernard's mom quickly who ushered him away from the commission members and upstairs without hesitation, "Ok, he's waiting for you up there, let me know if you need anything and please, don't break anything". She didn't seem the happiest to see him but she wasn't mad at him or anything, so that was a little better then what he thought in his head.

But that didn't help his nerves, he could spot bernard's room and took a few steps forward.

He had to be just as nervous as he was...right? He didn't greet him at the door so he was left with a similar impression that was the case. Then the door opened to let him in, a sleep and messy teenage boy waiting for him. Landon feeling his heartbeat rise even faster and want to flee the scene extremely fast, his body forcing itself to stay put so he didn't chicken out.

"Hey landon".

"H-hey...bernard", god why did he have to make himself sound so awkward the moment he saw him again? He swore his voice cracked too, because of course it did.

Bernard didn't look fully dressed, not did he seem to be entirely...himself, which was a warning sign, but they had to get this over with. Landon had to just go over and finish up before he made another bad choice, though bernard looked very cute. He had never seen him like this outside of the sleepover the one time, most of the time he was more...well kept.

Bernard yawned, "Sorry i'm not looking that great, but...i'm happy you came, means a lot to me if you want to come in and well...y'know, do this whole thing". Landon nodded quickly as he entered the messy teenage boy's room, the door shutting behind them. He took a set on the bed as bernard started going into his closet, nervous about who should speak first.

It was uncomfortably silent after all.

Bernard and landon both wanted the other to make the first move instead, as if they were waiting each other out. The silence however, was killing landon and it wouldn't get them anywhere if neither of them even said a word to each other. Landon really felt his stomach churn, just how bad did he screw up that bernard could hardly even look at him right now?

He wasn't used to this from him, the tension was intensely uncomfortable compared to the usual laughing and giggling between the two. He twiddled his fingers together and tried to choke up a word or two, needing to be brave and come out with it. "Hey look, i'm sorry fi i made things uncomfortable between us...i wasn't supposed to even send you that video...it was an accident", was that good? He hoped so.

The human paused, meaning he had heard landon alright.

"Mason pushed the wrong button, it wasn't supposed to head to you like this, i just want us to be friends again ok? I never meant to hurt you or bother you or make things awkward. But i also get it if you don't want to be friends anymore either with me, i know this would make you feel weird and i don't want you to feel weird around me either...it's just...you mean a lot to me".

"How long?".

His voice caught him off guard.

"How long have you liked me?".

Landon froze, stammering, "Since we met actually...i dunno you came up to me and i thought you were...cool, i know that sounds really corny but it's true. You were so cool and i wanted to get to know you and you wanted to get to know me...and i found it...attractive. I mean i didn't notice it at first bit over time it made sense why i was acting this way about you".

Was that good?, it was hard to tell when he wasn't looking at him right now.

"Look, if you want me to leave i will, i know you're upset with me and i don't wanna be some burden on you. You're just...a great person and i'm glad i got to have you as my friend, even if it was just for a little while". He meant that sincerely, he liked having this guy as his friend, and he was going to miss them if they never spoke every again, "You deserve better friends who don't make you go through this kinda stuff anyway".

"Landon...".

"I'm right, you got kidnapped and you could've died because of it, and it was because of me, if you and me weren't friends you would have never had to deal with that happening to you". God, he sounded so pathetic, was this really how he wanted to even handle this in the slightest? He felt himself curl up a little, clenching teeth, "I wanted to tell you how i felt sooner but i was worried what you'd think. I've never confessed to anyone in my life before and i got scared to screw up or say anything"'.

It was hard to tell what bernard was thinking with his back turned, but he was just going to have to keep pushing through this no matter how embarrassing it was. "I just think you're really cool, i like your magic stuff and your attitude, and your confidence...and how you laugh at my jokes and support me...and i'm dead serious about all of it...i never meant to make you feel uncomfortable.".

Bernard finally turned around, a look of surprise on his face.

"Landon...i...you don't make me feel uncomfortable", he suddenly seemed to feel ashamed of his silence this whole time, his shoulders sagging and his expression more sad. "I...i admit, it was overwhelming finding out...i think it's because i well...i've been on dates before...and a lot of them were...mixed". The human took a seat next to landon, his feet dangling off the bed.

"I...y'know, constantly changed myself everywhere we went and i would get confessed to a lot, but it never felt right because i wasn't being myself...i was just trying to fit in. I guess when you confessed i had so many thoughts, like if this was another occurrence of me not being myself and you not liking the real me, or that you did like the real me, to all the times we hung out and i had no idea...i...had a lot going on".

The human eyed his worried friend, before smiling a little, "But...i'm not mad at you for any of this, none of this was your fault. You had no idea anything like this would happen and it's ok, i'm not mad at you at all. My parents might have some issues, but i don't...because it wasn't your fault that happened. Landon, i'm still processing everything but i'm not mad at you".

"You aren't?".

"Of course not, i just...have a lot to think about with all of this, i'm a little overwhelmed but i'm not mad at you landon. I just need a lot of time to really think on things, if that's ok...". Landon seemed relieved, his face suddenly becoming far happier then he meant for it to, "Yeah, yeah of course! You can take all the time you need if you want, no pressure or anything, you can uh...get back to me when you're ready".

He laughed and landon felt himself turn deep red.

"Yeah of course, when i'm ready, i don't want to leave you hanging or anything...", the human noticed landons face an poked at it charmingly. "I have to admit...it's...a little flattering that you...feel this way about me. I've just never been complimented this much before , or had anyone write a song for me before for that matter, it's actually sweet".

"You find it sweet?".

"Yeah well...it's really good and i can tell you put a lot of hard work into it, it's...nice that i...inspire you like that". I never saw myself having a song about me, always thought the only way something like that would happen was if i won some dumb contest or something. I...i'm sorry you didn't get me to see it under different conditions, i know this was not how you wanted me to...experience it".

"Well...i'm sorry i was acting so weird for awhile towards you...it was a lot more obvious then i thought originally. You...you were worried about me and you had every right to worry about me...everything just got so complicated and i had a hard time trying to figure out what was the best way to handle it. I guess i should've tried to handle it sooner, to avoid this from happening."

"Hey, i'm not great at this stuff either, i might never have caught on without the video. Heh, it took me a few minutes to click as the music started playing that you were going for...y'know, You...play really well landon". He blushed, trying to hide his face as much as possible as he turned away from the cute boy, "Yeah well, i do play it almost all the time".

"It pays off, at least you might get to make it into a career, my parents still are on the fence about magic".

The way he said it seemed to make landon's heart crack just a little

"I'm sorry to hear that...i well, i was really hoping they'd change their minds about it and stuff...you should be allowed to do the hobbies you like, like you're really good at them too, you were able to escape your handcuffs because of magic! It's...amazing...how you were able to actually do that, they don't appreciate enough of your skills, you're...amazing".

He felt himself blushing again and quickly coughed, "Oh right, sorry, this might be making your more uncomfortable".

But bernard laughed, "It's ok, i'm just glad someone cares, i feel sometimes like...no one really does, i've just...wanted someone around who likes what i like and doesn't make fun of it". He sighed, rubbing his hair, "I escaped my cell through magic, that's...impressive, i never knew i'd need to and magic helped me do it, i was just hoping for better i guess from my parents".

The prince watching him sadly, letting out another deep sigh.

"I wanted to confess to you that day...the day you were kidnapped...i know it doesn't matter now but i did, and then when things went wrong i changed my mind because you had enough going on to worry about me. After you got kidnapped and hurt and everything, there was no way we could talk about it, i knew it was a bad idea. I'm sorry things got so bad that you were worried about me like that".

"Landon, it's ok".

"No, it's not".

"No, it is...i'm sure, it was complicated. I...i got kidnapped, and you just wanted me to take the time to recover before unloading this on me, it's not a bad thing. Truth be told, i was terrified down there, i didn't know if I'd make it out alive or not, for a few moments i really thought i might not. But...you helped find me, and...that's important, your confession could wait...".

"But...then i started acting weird...and your texts".

"Landon, of course i was worried about you, we're friends...if you needed space it's ok, you can also just well...text me if you need a break for a bit. I only got worried cause i care about you...but if you need space...it's ok. I didn't really know you were going through so much emotional turmoil because of me and everything, i should have suspected though. I guess i've been so distracted i never even considered you were acting this way because you might of liked me a little more then being just friends, but...i'm glad it's out in the open now".

"You really still wanna be friends?".

"Dude, yeah, of course i do...i'll need some time to process the whole...crush thing, but...it doesn't make me wanna not be your friend. It'll take some getting used to but i like being your friend. I like us hanging out, and i like having someone around who respects my hobbies and interests and shows me all kinda of things i'd never see in a million years. You're a really cool person landon, i like being with you...i don't want us to stop being friends because of this".

Landon felt himself blush and heart beat a bit faster, it was worse that he knew what he was doing to him.

"W-well, i like having you around to like my hobbies and stuff too...yeah".

The human laughed, "I'm sorry for being such a drag and everything this morning, i got to admit, i just have a lot of bad experiences dating...and dealing with crushes. I guess for me it brought back some memories...but i won't bother you with them in detail or anything. Because i think you're different landon, i really think you care about me and everything".

Landon clutched his head in his hands and grumbled, still blushing, "And i was thinking you'd hate me and everything after what happened for a little while...cause...i just didn't...i didn't want to make you uncomfortable". He shifted in his seat before pinching his nose in frustration, "I should have at least told you i needed some time tho...i didn't meant to worry you-".

"No no like i said i-".

Landon turned around, only to realize he might of gotten just a LITTLE too close to bernard's face, making him jolt back quickly. Even bernard cut off his sentence at the action, "Well, uh anyways...glad we talked about this. So well, i guess if you need anything or want to stay for a while...i'll convince my parents to do it, hopefully. They're getting used to your friends down there".

"They aren't exactly our friends, but thank you...we haven't really gotten to hang out properly since...it happened. I was worried about even asking since...well, your parents...they must hate me for what happened with you. Even if you forgive me, i am still the reason they lost you to begin with, and they were terrified...your house got bugged and-".

"Landon, please, don't worry about them, they're always like that. They panic about everything, it's why they're like this about my magic, they're desperate to be good parents and well...make me some perfect kid. I mean i'm obviously not one but they want me to be one. Point being it's ok, don't worry and freak out, they're always like this anyway and i think they'll live with it".

He was doing it again.

"I'm sorry".

"Hey look, let's go down and take a break...your mom's outside right? How about you let them know and we can just...have some time together for a little bit? Some not awkward time together, we can hang in my room for today if you want and we could...properly catch up, if that's ok?". That sounded great, landon finally getting himself to relax as he pulled out his compact.

"Thanks".

"So this is it huh?".

She was looking at the broken wand with extreme curiosity, star watching her very closely as she examined it. She was giving luna the chance to make things up and be trusted but that didn't meant she was just cool handing sky's want over to just anyone. Luna was still on the fence these days to everyone and the wand was in bad enough condition.

"Yeah that's it alright".

"It's in better condition then i was expecting it to be in when i heard it broke, i'll give it this...but yeah, it needs a good repair. I must admit though, wands are hard to crack, this thing must've been hit with a powerful spell. But at least it's fixable, you might just need an expert on this one, though you're not going to like who i suggest to help you with it...".

Star grumbled, knowing where this was going.

"Mom, right?".

"She'd know if anyone.".

"Of course she would, i had a bad feeling you were going to mention i'd need her help, "But fine, whatever, is there anything else you want to let me know about? You and eclipsa were going off about a gem or something?". She was starting to get a little pouty and the less she focused on her mom the better, "Well, me and eclipsa weren't idiots, sky has a rare opal on her wand...you can see the multiverse in it if you look close enough".'

"Rare?".

"Yeah, omni owns these things, never been on a wand before...i think".

That even seemed so surprise star, guess there were things the commission still weren't fully being honest about with her. Luna didn't seem as phased by it though, looking through it curiously, "I'll be honest, i don't really think sky is responsible for taking us here...she...has no reason to and she's not knowledgeable enough to do it even on accident, but...knowing this is on her wand...it's...probably not a coincidence".

"What exactly do you mean by that?".

"C'mon now mom, a magic wand that combusted before we came here? And it just so happens to have a gemstone like this? Even if it wasn't sky it certaintly makes the most sense to be her, the problem is she doesn't know a spell that could do this...so i have to imagine what might of actually happened was we got dragged out of our own dimensions, and got pulled through her crystal into yours".

"Actually...that...kinda makes sense", the queen mumbled, folding her arms together, "But like, you all unwillingly were pulled...right? So someone had to have done this to you, unless this is omni's doing". The person in question had to have knowledge and access to the multiverse in order to even do this and pull it off, and there wasn't a high suspect list.

"No, i don't think it's omni, if the commission were behind it they would've acted upon whatever they wanted us for...not...be as useless as they are now. Before were suspected them but after this much time, well, we don't trust them but we don't think it is them either. It's only so baffling because we're out of many other options, and i've never seen this happen before".

"Well there has to be SOMEONE who can do it".

"I know but, no one here matches well...", then she seemed to think of something, before shutting it down, "No no, that could work but that's far more absurd, we need something more within the lines of reason". Star blinked at luna as she held her hand up to keep star from asking further on the matter, ".We'll start with a list of the main suspects and work from there".

"Luna, we went through the main suspects, there is no one else".

"Have you checked meteora or moon yet?", luna asked skeptically, her suggestion catching the queen off guard, she hadn't really gone into either of them had she? But it was for good reason. "Meteora was doing tasks, she has it on record and my mom...my mom has no reason to even bother doing something like this, where's your proof on that one?".

"You heard me, limited other options".

"Still, my mom would never do something like this...maybe in your word she would but not here...right?".

"You tell me, maybe she would, maybe she wouldn't. I just know she's a suspect and since she's been absent from everything before this point she doesn't have nearly as much of an alibi, even with grandpa...you know how easily distracted he gets". She wasn't wrong, moon could manage it if she were behind it, but there was also no reason for her mother to do this...and she would never attempt to kill a child either.

Even if that child had previous outbrusts about their family.

"i don't believe it but it'll keep it in mind, but frankly...we need a better list, none of these people seem to have anything to do with it", she sent luna a look of worry, "Luna, i think whoever did this is not from mewni, as silly as that is, a disappointment, i know...i think we all thought it had to be family...but it's not". Luna hated to admit it, but she had to agree with the idea, it probably was something else.

"I don't fully agree but i don't fully disagree either, i've heard worse. But learning that kinda magic takes years of proactive. Not to mention accessing the commission tower, it leaves me uneasy, we could pass by this guy on the way to work. Can you imagine how i feel possibly knowing who this is, for them to be a friend of mine only for them to do al of this?".

If luna did she wasn't showing it well.

"You have to know how much that hurts and messes with all of us, we don't just ignore these ideas because we don't buy into them. But if you're right how do we even begin to react? This whole thing has gotten under all of our skin and there's no way we can just forgive and forget if it turns out to be one of us. You don't know who it is, so it's much easier to-".

"Ok, sorry i tried to help, i didn't say it to be rude or anything, it was just an idea"., luna sat back and crossed her arms, putting her feet up nearby. "I do this all the time back home, i catch criminals all the time back home so it's kinda important for me to do stuff like this and try and make a profile of some kind, that way you could spot them even unmasked".

"You scare me with the fact you can spot bad people by just looking at them, i hope me in your world learns to get a grip because you're lucky to not be dead going through all of this", luna snickered, "You're not entirely wrong, i am lucky, but i'm also hard working, so that's another reason i've lived so long, i rarely ever get caught with my talent".

"Is that so? Is that why you're prisoner now?".

Luna's smile was quickly wiped from her face.

"Thought so...but hey, you did say rarely, so this has happened to you before. And you're still here now, so i guess that still says something about you and getting out of stuff like this. I rarely could get myself out of situations without a little help, even if i was a tough fighter. Even now sky usually needs judas to help her out, but thankfully she's never really been kidnapped either".

"I had to learn to do things myself, if...either of you had died the crown would go to me, and if i couldn't take care of myself i was doomed to end up the same way. If you thought i would allow myself to ever be put in that position you were sorely mistaken, I wanted to be a strong queen, stronger then anyone before me...and avoid all the mistakes the others made".

"Like solaria?"

Luna was quiet, "Yeah, especially her, there's...some things about her past i prefer not to repeat, you're honestly lucky in this universe.". The queen jolted her head to luna at that, her face skeptic, "Wait, what do you mean by that? How are we lucky? She still caused massive devastation and we're still recovering from everything she's done, we're not lucky".

The lighter blonde hummed, her fingers twirling the rim of a teacup.

"I...was shocked when i saw angel for the first time, i never really explained why but...it's...well, because his kingdom doesn't exist back home. Or at least not anymore, it's ruins where i live". Star didn't seem to like where this conversation was going but luna continued, "I never got to meet his kind before now, i just knew about what they once were, and well...stories from you".

"From...me?".

"Solaria caused the devastation, but you...you were the one to hit the mark that started everything back home, and it all started with their kingdom. If things hadn't escalated, i might not be the same person anymore. But...it is what it is...it's just worth mentioning that while solaria here might still be quite the queen, you should be lucky you didn't end up with a worse version of her".

"I'll be honest...i'm surprised how much you don't like her, sorry if it sounds rude but i was expecting...you to like...something about her".

Luna shot star back a dirty look, "Outside of her determination to help her people and power there's not much to admire, what she did led to issues we're still solving today, and as far as i'm concerned that does not make you a good queen. You are not a good queen if people remember you for reasons of hatred, i should not be having to fix her messes 800 years later".

Ok so yeah, she really didn't like the old queen herself, even if related to her.

"Sorry for bringing it up then, it was worth asking".

Luna sat back on the bed, spreading out her arms, "It's a lot of stress trying to be a good queen back home, you want to be unique bit you also want to be strong and something to be proud of. It's...a flawed system, always has been a very flawed system. The kind of pressure it puts on everyone is...well it's something alright, not much better in war time".

"I put a lot of high expectation on sky...", the queen laid back, sighing to herself, having to agree with luna. "I know i did, i don't know why it happened, it just did, and i know it really upset her...even though...i just want her to do well. I want her to do well on her own as queen someday and i dunno, i'm never sure what to do, less freedom, too much freedom...i learned from too much freedom.".

"Well based on what i've seen you didn't do much as far as training her by the looks of it, she could barely hold her wand right!".

Luna really has a way of making people feel bad about themselves.

"She really had a hard time preforming magic, i egged her on so bad the ceiling came down", great, she was back to being mad at herself. She could've prevented this so much sooner if she had just...done things so much differently. Maybe sky wouldn't have been accused of crimes, or had even been in danger at all. A little danger was expected out here but not...so often.

Not like this.

"Luna, considering what i know about me from...your world, i'm not coming to you for parental advice. But...i think at the very least i have a better idea of what i need to improve on if i don't want us to end up like me and my mother right now.", she probably could've phrased that far better then she did but luna got the point. "It's been so long...i forget what it was like".

"Well now that moon is stuck here you're probably being reminded of it more then ever, as far as i can tell, nothing has changed about here...i hear enough through everyone else at this point that i'm glad i barely have to talk to her outside of the occasion. Back home grandma and i didn't agree on many things either, it's a lot messier between all three of us in that castle.".

"Luna, your dimension sounds...awful, for the record, not sure if that's what you were going for but, it sounds awful. I'm surprise you even want to go back after everything", she didn't exactly mean for it to sound so rude, it was clear why luna wanted to go back and that going back mattered to her. But it seemed there was little back home that was actually...well, to look forward to besides seeing her family again.

She almost wished luna could stay, not go back to a world like that.

Such an unpleasant world to grow up in.

"Honestly, sometimes i think that too, but i know it's what i want to do...i wouldn't just leave them. And...i won't leave them now especially, it's clear what seems to happen when i make choices to leave people behind, i get myself in more trouble". She motioned to her room, "I can't stay here, you know that and i know that, we have places we need to be and people who need us, we don't belong here".

"Luna, i don't know all of you that well, but i think all of you do belong here, not permanently, i know you all have families to return to...but well...i think being here has...helped you all, to some extent, maybe more then you could ever really get back home". That made luna pause, laying back on her bed, "I guess you really could say that,...i don't think people will even really...recognize me fully when i get back, maybe, it depends how long i've been gone for them...they might not even remember what i was like before i left all of them".

"I'm sorry you've all been gone so long".

"You say that like we didn't lie to your face for months about who we were this entire time, it's not your fault. We insisted on not coming to you for help, and our lack of progress is partially more our fault...and circumstance". She took a deep breath, "I tend not to ask people for help if i can avoid it, and i was aggressive about us staying hidden, and it worked for a while but...it was never going to work forever, there was too many of us, someone was bound to find out".

"Well, you had me fooled, for a good while, though i guess in retrospect the fact you were that good at fighting should've been some kind of red flag, no one who goes into knight training even comes in so perfect. Even on mewni where you could die at any minute, you would've been a good knight if you had been from this dimension though, though heh...oh wow, we assigned you under jackie".

"You can imagine how that went for me".

"Well, i guess it's hard for me to really say, i guess at least in the end you got to spend some good time with us even if we aren't technically your family. I can only hope that talking to us provided you some comfort, maybe. I think...if i was trapped somewhere else, just seeing my mom's face would really help. I...i got really upset when she vanished, after meteora".

Luna paused, letting the thought ponder for a bit.

"You don't hate your mom as much as you want to, she gives you grief and isn't making the situation any better for you...but i can tell that to an extent you're glad she's here. Someone to give you advice...and help you. She's not amazing by any means but i can tell you're glad she's here to help in this crazy situation, even if her help isn't really helping.".

"I've been on my own with the throne for a while...so i dunno, maybe i just miss her", star sunk in her seat, "I nmeed to stop venting, that's not what this meeting was about, it was about the wand, i'm just dealing with a lot of emotions right now. I've never really...confided in someone about this, well, someone who isn't my wife or my best friend at least".

The queen stood up, "I'm trying to handle this stuff on my own without help, but i guess i wouldn't be taking my own advice if i kept doing that, especially when help is coming right to my doorstep to help me on stuff like this. I'll...go talk to mom soon after this, we can come to some kinda agreement on the plan , and maybe work things out properly".

She held out her hand, "The wand, i better head out and i'm not leaving it here with you, no offence." Luna handed it over without any hesitation on her part, star pocketing it, "But...i'll admit, it was nice talking to you, even if i fully don't get why, i can see why eclipsa likes you, she tends to love the kinda people she can soften up from their cold dark hearts".

Luna pouted at that but accepted it anyway, "Well, just update the others and make sure...they're ok, especially judas, i worry about him...a lot. So if you could check up on him and make sure he's alright, i at least would like that". The queen understood, holding the door open playfully. "Cya later prisoner, don't hurt yourself too much in here...ok?".

Like luna could ever get herself that hurt down here? but the thought of it all was rather nice. Better then the other times she was taken hostage, most of those guys were hesitant to even give her food. No one wanted to fight luna when she was at her fully power, no one could even be prepared for it. Luna was the kinda person who could bite your hand off even without any sharp teeth whatsoever.

and no one was gonna test that theory, no one

A few days later, marco found themselves back to work on the plan, landon in a far better mood then he had been, texting his crush in the nearby corner as marco went over their ideas with the rest of the team.

"Alright, we can eliminate that one.", marco said, crossing off yet another idea they considered in their mission. Honestly it was impressive how smart these kids where when it came, ideas like this but it should've been expected. Having some people to bounce ideas off was a brilliant idea and they were all so excited too. Galexia was the most excited actually, she loved talking about her ideas and drawings to with people.

In fact this was the most comfortable anyone had ever seen her at all, period.

Her drawings even made marco laugh at random.

She beamed though, she seemed to like the reaction she was getting out of the queen, in fact she seemed to like the adults in general a lot more then others, I guess considering she grew up with a lot of them that was fair. But every other teen had at least some minor issues with the adults, and yet galeixa was more then happy to spill them everything and talk.

She was so smart it was crazy, her ideas never always made sense but no one really seemed to care that much either. Galexia has been paying attention, that was for sure, she had an ungodly amount of drawings just based on the plan. Some were of the plan itself and others were of them failing the plan, which was no something anyone wanted to see right now. But last there was a plan and it's on it's way guys to getting better.

"Maybe we can hide weapons in my dress", sunny suggested, "I've done it before, just in case anything bad happens and i lose my wand, i wanna be able to protect myself, even without magic". Honestly marco wanted to question why someone as young as her reallly needed so many weapons but maybe it was best just to not provoke it right now for them.

"I think the plan i went with might be out best bet, but these ae some good ideas. Just don't suggest anything too dangerous, i don't wanna put you guys at too much of a risk. I mean i know you guys get into this kinda stuff often but you know what i meant. This is still something we need to be careful with, sorry, safety is always my priority when doing anything with my kids".

"Your kids?".

They never meant for it to come out like that, but i guess upon closest inspection, they seemed to be their parental figure now, it was like marco had adopted a bunch of new kids out of complete nowhere. "Sorry sorry, didn't mean to make it found like...nevermind, i'm just impressed your all of your ideas. But i think in the end our next option is gpnna have to be mind, found good?'

"You even sure it's going to work?", landon asked, huffing at his parent, "Landon, no I'll be honest i'm not, but if we prepare enough for what we may handle when it happens we can prepare for anything with this guy". It was about being flexible and covering any hole, it was all or nothing in this situation and leaving cracks open was the last thing anyone wanted to do.

this entire plan was to be a big trap, a trap is useless if it can be escaped.

With their kids already being in danger enough times throughout this marco had to step up, there was no way they were letting any more kids be put in serious danger, and they were already taking a risk in letting angel even be some form of bait. Marco had to be smart about this, they could run this over several more times to get every nook and cranny.

If they could they'd booby trap the whole castle, they would.

But then that'd risk the safety of everyone else inside, and being trapped in with the crazy person was also a bad idea.

So if they were lucky, the plan would work first go, and they'd not even have to worry about these plan bs or cs. It was just a bit unpredictable where this was going to go, they had been fooled before and if this plan even got out then all of this would be for nothing. For all they knew they'd posses someone else to go in their place and escape them once again.

The mind control aspect really bothered marco.

what if they used it on one of them? That was a thought marco didn't want to consider, especially if it hit him or tom, they'd be powerful and they could really hurt someone if they were made to do so. Marco considered making charms for everyone, perhaps they could attach them to their outfits, not anywhere that they could be seen of course but still.

Then they could be protected at least from that.

Marco made a mental note to tell sky later.

"Ok, so we seem to have somewhat of a good plan going, thanks to judas we have an idea of how the party is going to look, So that outta help immensely when it comes to here to put everyone for this plan. We can keep most of you safe and catch them without anyone at harm, and if this works well then we'll finally be free. You'll all just have to stick to your roles and-".

Landon raised his hand.

"Roles? What?".

"Landon, the party is being used mostly as a front, therefore you have to pretend like nothing is wrong the entire time. If we aren't acting natural they're going to catch on very quick to something happening", landon sunk in his seat, "Right right, but like...won't it be more suspicious if we aren't on edge at least a little the whole night, they're not stupid...i think".

"We can do our best landon".

Landon didn't exactly like this idea, who knew what could happen like this? But marco was right, they were just going to have to be careful, and maybe stay wary of who they talked to. They didn't want to let this person in on any secrets they shouldn't know about, but hopefully they'd be fine. this meeting seemed very effective, marco was going to have star to talk to star about it and-

"Thanks for helping us!", sunny piped up, "And...thanks, we're happy to be considered your kids...", she blushed and marco smiled. "You guys...haven't really had a proper parental figure since you got stuck here, we assumed you were here because your parents let you be here...and we're no substitute for your actual parents but...i hope we can at least help in the meantime."

"You're doing great i promise!", sunny was always so positive, it was surprising how through all of this she still kept a smile on her face. "It's been super nice getting to spend so much time with you, i think we all feel a little at home here. We've lived here so long i guess it's become a second home to us...while also kinda being our home already as well".

Marco bit their lips, thinking of something.

"When we send you home, are we sure you can even come back?'.

They never had to consider it much before this point but now was as good a time as ever to really think about it. Sunny wasn't just a girl from another world, but she was a friend to mason, their youngest son, not to mention friends with everyone else too. They'd well, be sad if they never say any of them again and well, it was an idea that was thought about and could not be helped.

"Sky thought the same thing and she thought, well, we might figure something else out so...we're trying not to think about it too hard y'know? Don't want to get everyone upset right?". Her voice didn't sound like she was too happy about it though, sunny sounding like she almost wanted to hold back from some crying of her own about the matter. At least, it sounded like it.

Losing everyone else must have broken her heart to think about too.

"Sunny i promise we'll all stay together somehow...ok? i don't want to see any of you separated forever either, mason's never been so happy in his life/ He likes having more friends to spend time with, and of course, you all have grown very close. It'd be a burden to separate you, i promise we won't let this all be forever, you'll all see each other again".

Sunny looked over to lexi, who was still drawing by herself, smiling and ignoring most of the world around her.

"I guess i keep worrying about that, even though i try not to...", she admitted, "I'm supposed to be the positive one here, keeping everyone up and happy but...sometimes, i feel sad...thinking about this stuff. i'm going to miss you guys...i really am, i just got used to having sisters and new brothers and saying goodbye, to all of this, it's going to be hard...".

"Well, we'll try and make your last days here the best they can be then, just in case getting back in contact is...hard. You girls at least deserve a few last nights stress free before going home...it's not much, but you all deserve it after everything you've been through. You can even bring some things back home with you if you want to, memories and stuff".

"My parents probably think i've been kidnapped or something".

Yeah, yeah they would, heck knows if this happened to any of their sons marco would feel the same way by now, if they didn't think they died or something. The worry that had to be on their faces must be devastating. Sunny must think about it a lot, especially since she had a little brother back home she loved and had to live without her for so long.

"Don't worry about the now, think about how happy they'll be to see you again", marco said gently, "That's what matters here, getting you home to see them, they'll be thrilled and delighted. I know being away is scary but, it won't be permanent. We will make sure you get home, even if it takes years, don't give up on us ok? We won't let you feel abandoned."

Landon a little way a ways, turned his head away.

"Years, mom you know we can't do that, someone is going to find out eventually".

"I know lardon, but that's no reason to not try. We're going to have to help and not stil and cower even if someone is after them. These girls need to go and everything, the longer they stay here who knows what could happen, it's better they get home as soon as they can before anything worse happens to them. But we need to catch them first, free their names".

"You've been meeting with them right, how badly do people think sky or luna did it?".

Marco tensed up, feeling their shoulders stiffen as they looked for the best works, "Well since that day it's already been a mixed bag, but it hasn't gotten worse if you're looking for good news, i don't think people have gotten stronger on it. Luna must've kicked out a lot of the previous ideas they had which is both good and very bad all things considered".

"Figures as much, we better watch out".

"Oh don't doubt you will, no one feels safe".

"Hey...i hate to ask but, what happens to luna...if this all fails? We're delaying the trail but...there's no way we can defend her if we don't catch the real culprit and...what are they gonna do to her?", the question hit marco like a punch to the gut. They had been avoiding that answer entirely because they knew the answer and didn't want to worry the kids.

Sky was royalty, at worst if she had been convicted she'd lose her right to the throne and her wand.

But luna on the other hand, and with her true identity not known to anyone outside of their ground.

She wasn't nearly as safe.

Around here she was just seem as another citizen, she had no protections outside of perhaps the words of jackie and the royal family to protect her. But even that had a chance of not mattering, because a royal family can trust the wrong people. There was a chance of luna ending up in a BAD situation if they didn't do something soon and the thought was dreadful.

She already had a family back home waiting for her but if they never saw her again due to something like...like being frozen, that'd be even worse.

"We won't let that happen, we'll make sure of it. Even if...things get really bad", Marco was quick to change the subject, going through their papers and papers of plans and ideas. "I'm going to run these by tom and his parents, we need approval for some of these traps within the castle. We're already building up the ballroom for the event and the sooner we have a head start the better".

Landon stood up, ready to head out and join their mother as marco stopped in their tracks and turned again to sunny, "Remember, don't forget the stakeout soon, get some rest and practice your lines...oh...and keep sky updated. She's spending a lot of time with angel and i don't want her to forget about her role, though...it's great seeing her a lot happier...".

"You got it! Uh...thanks for everything", marco smiled at her as landon followed them out, Landon examining the mask and outfit sunny had given him in his arms. It was fitted for him by sky, but he still wasn't sure about it. At least he wasn't doing any of the actual acting or anything, all he has to do was dress up and play music, nothing more, nothing less.

He just needed to be careful.

Not just because of him being a prince, he's just...nearly gotten into fights in there now and if a fight broke out things would not end well, the place was quite on most days but who knows who might head inside on a more ruely day. Demons could be nice people, but they were violent too, and it was always best to keep your watch on them, so landon just hoped this idea was a bust and nothing happened.

It probably would be.

It was that idea alone that was enough to relax him.

Because of his magical abilities he got a little anxious about using his violin at all in case of well, what happened last time, but it would probably be ok as long as he didn't try to do that song again. Besides, he was barely getting results as is, and he wasn't using a wand violin. He needed to chill out, the worst thing to worry about were his nerves at playing in front of people.

Just thinking about it was making his stomach turn, or maybe that was just his guilt at not telling his mother about what he'd been doing.

they knew he knew they did, so why was it so hard to just say something about it?

Marco walked alongside the demon as they made it finally to the nearest bathroom to change and try on the clothes and see how well they worked in case sky needed to fix anything. Marco hadn't said anything yet and he felt their silence was their way of trying to get them to talk. They had done this before when they were really mad after all and landon was feeling the sting of it now.

He went inside to change, not saying anything.

He was so happy everything with bernard was a lot better, not perfect, but better. The entire scare had left him feeing broken for a while and the fact he was still getting texts was a relief in his mind, even if things were still awkward. He felt as if he were walking on eggshells, but he knew this was on him, there was no one else to blame for this then him.

He should say something, marco would go easy on him and he knew it, he just...felt guilty.

How many times was he gonna keep going behind everyone's backs and getting caught? He wasn't sure why he was like this? Maybe he just had a hard time admitting he wanted help? He wasn't a very social person and people knew that, he tended to handle things along when he had the chance and only his mom was ever someone he went to for serious help.

Guess that was bound to kick him in the butt eventually, screw his awkwardness.

He tried on the costume and moved in front of the mirror, sighing to himself, and putting in the mask. It fit well, sky had no business being so good at all of this honestly, she was far more talented then people gave her credit for. Landon just wished he wasn't in some kinda rut right now and could feel a lot better about it. Staring at himself in the mirror before looking to the bathroom door.

He was going to have to suck it up and confront this wasn't he? If he didn't he wouldn't be able to focus and he might get himself into another situation all over again. He did deal with bernard and that went well right? Him trying magic can't be too bad, especially since nothing came of it or anything, why was he panicking over him doing something so minor?

"Landon? You ok in there?".

He took some deep breaths before splashing water on his face, "Yeah mom, i'm coming out in a minute".

He finally pulled himself together, sighing as he opened the door to face his mother, "Mom, i...want to talk to you...about something?". But he was stopped in his tracks, his mom looking at him softly in his outfit, making him blush. "Hijo, you look so grown up...i'm...honestly happy to see you so...open and out there. Look at you opening up and making friends and talking to your crushes.".

"Mom...".

Were they...crying?

They looked like they were crying and landon was hit with a new wave of emotions.

"Sorry, i just...judas is hitting his coronation, mason is hitting puberty and...you're changing a lot too...it's...overwhelming", they wiped at their face, "Didn't mean to start crying or anything, i'm just...so proud...and...you're all so grown up". Landon rubbed at his arms, still blushing hard and having a hard time looking their mom in the eyes, he wasn't expecting this...but...it shouldn't stop him either.

"Mom...you're...right".

Marco looked at them confused at first, right about them making friends and talking to crushes? Landon knowing he needed to clarify more.

"I have been semi-lying...to you, i...when the text incident happened...it was because i was doing magic...not demon magic. I...i realized my violin, i can do spells with it if i really concentrated, it's not the same as a wand but i think i'm the one channeling it, and...i tried to practice it behind your back. I'm really sorry, it just meant so much to me to learn magic and everything and you guys were saying no and-".

"Landon it's ok", they reassured, putting a hand on their shoulder.

"I'm...just happy you told me...instead of me having to find out the hard way.", he felt so much more warm inside hearing that, they really weren't that mad at him for not doing what they were supposed to? Well they were probably a little mad, but not as mad as he was expecting after all the other stuff he had done up to this point. The human sighing.

"We'll work something out...later, for now you're grounded, just for a few days tho."

Yeah, that was expected, but he was glad it wasn't for much longer.

"I'm glad you aren't hurt though, it's easy to get hurt doing magic like that...there's a reason the wand exists...", the pondered for a moment, biting their lips, "We have enough on our plate right now...but...when we get this resolved, i'll make sure to help you learn it. We may have to ask to borrow sky's wand...when it's fixed, but...i'll make sure you figure out this scary part of yourself...".

"D-did you have to use the wand to...to also learn all of this?".

They nodded, "Yeah, it didn't matter at the time because sky wasn't around to use it and star didn't need to anymore...so it gave me the chance to learn so i could well...y'know, do what i do now". As an example, marco cast a small red orb in his hand, "It's not the same as her magic...but, i like to think of it as something new that we can do...discovery and everything. I have to admit, i'm...happy i'm not the only one with it, it's nice being able to have someone else who understands and finds it just as weird".

"I'm still sorry, i shouldn't have lied...".

"If it helps, i wasn't dead honest about my powers to star at first either...it...took me a while before i could talk about it, There was a lot going on at the time and i was just trying to be a good friend". Landon felt a hand grip his shoulder, "I need to also be better for you, a better example for you...but, i think we're both making some progress, and...i'm happy for that".

He had to agree, "I guess...a little progress is better then nothing, right?".

They smiled.

"C'mon, let's change out of that and take a break, if it's ok, i'd like to watch you play. Get you less nervous to perform. It's a way to be there for you, and still help with the plans...unless you don't want me to?". But Landon shook their head, "No, i...i think i'd like that actually, please?". He didn't mean to sound so...needy, but marco seemed more then happy with it.

"Then it's settled, c'mon, i think i need a break too".

#star vs the forces of evil #svtfoe #svstfoe #sky and the forces of the multiverse #marco diaz #marco #janstar bby #tomstar bby #ostar bby #starkie bby #tomco bby #fanfiction #my art

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hannahssimblr · 8 months

Text

Chapter Five

After a morning of frantic creativity in the studio, I head down to the shop with a head buzzing with thoughts of Christmas motifs. Petra is comparatively calm, sitting behind the till reading a crochet magazine in her lap and drinking a hot chocolate from one of the sachets she keeps in a drawer with the excess breast shaped candles. “Oh hello.” She says serenely. “Have you come to do the window?”

“I have.” I go into the storage closet next to the employee bathroom and start yanking bits of blue roll off the holder, wrestling my way through the clutter and piles of empty postal boxes for a squeegee and a bottle of industrial window cleaner.

“I can’t wait to see how it turns out.” She flips the page while I start spraying the window and buffing off the dirt and streaks. It’s a smaller window than the café I worked on back home, but tenfold more intimidating, seeing that this is an actual art shop with actual artists working upstairs who will no doubt notice things like crooked ‘o’s or asymmetrical ‘m’s. Recalling the mistakes I made the last time, I first sketch an outline on the outside of the window. The sun is hot on my hair.

The muscles in my arms ache from the gym as badly as I expected they would. As I work I silently curse Shane Healy and his wicked exercise regime, and every time I lift a paint pen to the glass and my biceps groan I curse him harder. I am tired too, my eyes feel dry and heavy after a poor night’s sleep, tossing and turning in my bed with a head whirring with thoughts of Izzy’s gig. I think about it now too. Of Jen especially, and how different she was, but of Jude too, and the strange rift between them. I can’t help but recall all of those little details like the purple skin under his eyes, the nicotine stains on his fingers. Jen’s thin body, the vacancy in her stare. It was freaky to see them both like that, to witness their distance when all I’ve ever known of them was their closeness.

I start sketching out the lettering for ‘mezzotint’. I have a design in an open notebook at my feet, and I refer back to it again and again, trying my best to mark out the shapes as symmetrically as possible. It starts off well. I’m careful, I’m precise, and I realise that focussing as hard as I can upon the task makes it harder for me to dwell on other thoughts. I don’t notice the time passing me by, the shadows moving across the pavement, I even drown out the sound of the tram as it passes, and it’s just me and this window and these pens and…

“Um, hello?” I get such a fright that my marker slips across the window, sending a slash of white through my meticulous lettering. “Shit.”

“Fuck, sorry.” It’s Jude. He’s reaching for a damp cloth so he can help me to erase it. I never even heard him coming.

“Oh, God, Jude, don’t worry about it, it’s just the guide.”

He pulls the cloth over his finger and uses the flat edge of his fingernail to carefully remove the offending mark from where it cuts right through one of the Zs. “Sorry I scared you, I was trying to catch your attention from across the street for like, a minute. I thought you’d heard me.”

“It’s okay, honestly.” I take his wrist and lift the cloth out of his hand. “I’ll fix it later. Like I said, this is just the guide bit. I’ll erase it later anyway.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure, it’s fine, it’s just a stupid white line, nothing to get upset about.”

He looks up at the window. “It’s looking good though.”

“You think?”

“I do.” He smiles at me. “Nice job. I’m glad I caught you in time for lunch.”

“It’s lunch?”

“Yeah it’s like five past one.”

“Oh.” I frown. “I swear to God, sometimes I seem to just switch my brain off when I’m working.”

“I know the feeling. Do you have time to get food? If not it’s totally fine, I probably should have texted you or something, I couldn’t remember if we actually made a plan to get lunch or if I just ended up being vague with you.”

I smirk as I start bundling up my art supplies. “You asked me if I take lunch, and then you walked away.” After brushing my cheek with his thumb in a way that made my stomach bottom out, but I don’t bring that part up.

“Ah, sounds like me.” He holds the door for me as I carry my things into the shop. “If you’re not free it’s fine, by the way, I can get lost.”

“No, we can get lunch.” I smile at Petra who is eating a sandwich at the till, and we give each other a quick wave as I leave my supplies on the floor and head back outside. “Where’s Astrid today? Are you meeting her after lunch to do the big tourist round of Dublin?”

“Ah.” He says as we fall into step next to each other. “She’s not feeling well. She doesn’t want to do anything today.”

“That’s a shame.”

“Mm.”

“Do you think you’ll go tomorrow?”

“I’m not sure, she, well, she kind of wants to just go back to Berlin at the moment, I’m trying to convince her to stay for the rest of the week but-” He shrugs. “I dunno. We’ll see how it goes.”

“Not a fan of Dublin City?”

“Something like that, maybe.”

“I don’t blame her.” The Liffey still stinks as we cross it. A man leans over the railings and hawks up a mouthful of spit to launch into it. I shudder. “It’d be a pity to cut the holiday short all the same.”

“I’d bring her back to Berlin if I could, it’s just with the things I have to do…”

“That family stuff you mentioned?”

“Yeah. My mom is away on business this week, she needs someone to take care of Ivy. Like, bring her to school, cook dinner, laundry, all of that stuff.”

“Oh, damn. Is your dad away too?”

“No.” He kicks a coke can into the road and it goes under the wheels of a passing bus. “He just won’t- can’t do it. He’s not a big fan of, uh, parenting her.”

I frown. “Like, at all?”

“At all.”

“So what does he do?”

He exhales a laugh. “He’s very busy.”

“Right.”

“He’s rarely home for dinner. He works a lot. Late hours, paperwork, you know the drill.” I don’t know the drill. My dad only ever worked steady, predictable hours in the medical factory, and my mam, well, hasn’t worked since she gave up her secretary job in 1993. I can’t remember a time that she wasn’t at home, potatoes boiling in the pot while she scrubbed every corner of our tiny council house. She was always there to look after me.

Jude asks me what I want to eat, and I tell him that he can choose, so we head east along the river. “I know it’s weird,” He continues defensively, even though I haven’t said anything “that my mom would rather get her adult son to look after their child than her own husband, who like, you know, fathered her, but it’s just the way the situation is.”

“Yeah it’s not great, obviously, but I suppose this is an exceptional circumstance. One time is inconvenient but manageable.”

He gives me a sideways glance. “Yes. One time.”

The conversation shifts to Ivy as we venture into the Liberties, and he tells me about her. She’s almost thirteen now, she’s in first year of secondary school, she’s still bad at piano and has to be forced to go to her lessons. She still never practises. I like watching Jude’s face when he talks about her, he gets very animated. It’s like he’s a bit proud of her, like he finds her funny, like he genuinely likes being around her. I consider his relationship with Ivy in contrast to Shane and Kelly, siblings who would have beat each other to death with remote controls, fighting for the teddy bears with the hardest plastic eyes, the biggest battery packs so they could cause maximum damage to one another when they smashed each other across the backs with them. I often counted my blessings over the fact that I was an only child when one of them started up a battle, but now, for a brief moment, I catch myself mourning the absence of the sibling I never had.

He takes me to a food van that sells coffee and Italian sandwiches at the foot of an apartment complex. I grab a chicken and pesto panini, which he pays for, and we take a seat on the grass in a nearby park. Jude stretches his legs out in front of him and leans on his elbows. He’s wearing shorts and a fleece, green and white runners and tube socks that have fallen down a bit on one side to reveal a strip of pale skin right up against the deep tan of his legs. He’s away in his thoughts again, eyes turned glassy as he stares out across the park to somewhere among the young trees planted by the fence. My eyes automatically follow the lines of his profile, from his forehead over the slight roman curve of his nose and down to the long line of his throat before I realise I’m staring too much, reading his visual language like a painting at a gallery, so I examine my sandwich instead.

“What are you thinking about?” I ask him.

“Oh.” He says. “Nothing, I don’t even know.”

“Mm.”

He gives me a half smile. “Maybe I was thinking about how I’m glad we could meet for lunch today.”

He definitely wasn’t. “Of course. It’s been nice, you know, to see you again.”

“I missed talking to you.”

“Did you?”

“I did.”

I nod. “Well, I missed that too. I’m sorry-”

“No more sorrys.” He reminds me. “It’s all water under the bridge, and like I said, I have more to be sorry for than you do.”

I smile, then he smiles, before getting distracted by a nearby dandelion. He plucks it, and instead of blowing away the seeds he rather barbarically picks them off with his fingers and flicks them into the wind. I wonder if he made a wish. “I hope everything was alright last night with Michelle.” I say, hoping my prying doesn’t seem too much like, well, prying.

“Ah, yes. It was fine she just had to tell me about something that happened.”

“Hope it was nothing bad.”

“Well, I don’t know. It was just… well, nothing.”

He isn’t going to tell me. “Is it a bit weird,” I pivot “That Michelle and Jen are friends? Like I’ve wondered before. I saw them together in a bar a couple of years ago and I was surprised that they seemed close. Do you ever feel, like, a bit put out that your best friend stayed close with your ex?”

He shakes his head. “No, because they were friends first. They went to primary school together, and when I moved to Ireland I started hanging out with them. We were a trio of friends.”

“Really? You and Jen and Michelle?”

“And some other people here and there, on and off at times, but yeah, we were.”

“And then…”

“And then one day I ruined it and kissed Michelle.”

“Oh.”

He splits the stem of the dandelion with his thumbnail, opening it up to flatten against his palm. “I seem to have this weird impulse issue where I can’t stop fancying my friends and then inevitably destroying everything.”

“Harsh. Surely you’ve had a female friend that you haven’t tried to kiss.”

He thinks about it. “Sure, but not as many as I’d like to admit to. When I really get to know people it’s hard for me not to blur the lines, to think that everything about them is beautiful, or whatever.”

“But Jen?”

“Oh, don’t worry,” He rolls his eyes at himself. “I kissed Jen too. When we were thirteen. She called me a fucking freak and went off crying.” His mouth quirks up at the corner. “And then a month of no contact later she approached me in the school yard and said she was sorry, that she actually realised that it wasn’t I specifically who was disgusting, it was just that she didn’t like boys.”

“She sort of came out because of you?”

“Yeah, well, because of my bad habits.”

I mirror him and start picking the grass. “I hope that she’s doing well.” I say.

“Yeah, me too. Things aren’t that great between us at the moment.”

“I’m sure it’ll get better.”

He sighs. “Friendships do this, you know, especially long ones. People kind of eclipse in and out of your life, and it’s easier for it to happen when you’re in your twenties. I guess she’s just, like, eclipsed out right now. I think I should have tried to be a bit more understanding over Pamela. I think I was a bit full on when she started confiding things to me. Jen doesn’t often get into relationships so I can see why she’s been pouring all of her time into this one, it’s just, well, I suppose it’s whatever. It’s not worth getting into it.”

“I think things always get complicated eventually.” I remark. “The longer you’re friends with someone the more likely it is that there’ll be conflict, and then when there is it’s so bad, like they know how to hurt you more than anybody else.”

“A bit vulnerable.”

“Very.” I say. “Back in first year I had a big fight with Claire.”

“Oh yeah?”

“It was because of… well, basically I just lied to her by omission. It wasn’t very wise of me to think that she wouldn’t find out on her own, but I don’t really like conflict, in case you didn’t notice that.”

“Who, you?” He grins.

“But I was so used to always just taking on everything, like, blaming myself for being wrong and for ruining everything, but actually, when we finally got to talk about it and try to fix things, she admitted that she felt the same. She felt like she’d been in the wrong, and that she shouldn’t have reacted the way that she did. I suppose it was healing, or something, to realise that we both hurt the other, and it was okay because our friendship was stronger than that.”

“And now?”

“Now we’re great, we’re perfect. When I fell out with Kelly I thought about it all the time. I still think about it, honestly. I think about the things I wish I’d said to her instead of the things I really did say, and I imagine scenarios where I win and I make her look so stupid. And sometimes…” I wonder if the next part is too insane to admit. “…I think about mowing her down with my bicycle or shoving her into a massive thorny hedge and she gets all scratched up and has twigs stuck in her curls that she can’t get out for hours, and maybe they’ll get so tangled that she’ll eventually have to have them cut out-”

Jude lets out a loud, surprised cackle. “Specific.”

“-and everyone points and laughs at her, and she runs off crying, and I know it’s so stupid and those things would never actually happen, but I’ve never stopped being angry with her, or actually, angry with myself for being weak for our entire friendship.”

“You weren’t weak.”

“No, it’s okay. I think I was.”

“And now? What about with Claire?”

“With Claire I don’t feel that way at all. I handled it so differently, it felt mature and fair, like, I was upset while the fight was happening and for the month that we didn’t speak, but after that, yeah, it was fine. We’re good. I don’t even care about the fight because we fixed it.”

He nods thoughtfully. “Well, that’s lucky then.”

“Whatever it is with Jen, I’m sure you’ll fix it too.”

He sighs. “She’s complicated. It really goes back further than just this year, there’s things I should have done the whole way along, ways I should have been there for her but wasn’t. I’m kind of coming to terms with being a bit of a shit friend.”

“It’s not like you to talk yourself down so much.”

“Hm, well I’m trying out this new thing where I’m more honest with myself.”

“How’s it going?”

“Horribly. It feels very bad.” He smiles weakly. “I think I’ve had a lifetime of being a bastard and it’s all manifesting this year, like I turned twenty one and it decided to come and bite me.” he suddenly sits up straighter and shudders, like he’s physically shaking the self deprecating thoughts from his head. “I don’t mean to be so miserable right now, Jesus.”

“You can be miserable all you like.”

“No.” He gently tugs on the cuff of my jean leg. “I want to hear about you. Tell me about this fancy internship. It was too loud in the bar last night to really get into it.”

I grimace. “It’s really not that interesting.”

“Tell me everything.” He insists. “Don’t leave anything out. When did you apply?”

I sigh and I lie back in the grass so that I can watch the clouds drift past. “Okay well…”

Beginning // Prev // Next

#lucky girl part 3 #sims 4 story

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whumpinggrounds · 3 years

Note

Something from Mara's perspective maybe? She's clearly losing touch with her ideals so a couple scenes of her in WRU with everything just becoming more and more normalised would be interesting

okay okay okay i v much appreciated this prompt! here is my best shot below :) and i am tagging the usual lost cause jude crowd!

@shapeshiftersandfire @itstrueiwasthewraithberry and @oceansevaporatetoo

CW: pet whump, lady whump, noncon body modification, intimate whumper, caregiver to whumper, training whump, mentions of/implied noncon,

The scariest part is that whole weeks pass where Mara doesn’t notice the change. She wakes up and goes to work, comes home to happy, smiling Isabella. The days pass so easy, so smooth, like a dream. Work is going well, really well. The higher ups like Mara’s ideas, and her coworkers respect her, and she’s looking at a raise after her second year. At home, Isabella cooks and cleans and jumps at Mara’s word. After months of happy, easy companionship, it feels…well, it feels natural. It feels right.

So, Mara stops thinking about it. It doesn’t do anyone any good to think about whether their arrangement is good or right or fair. It just is. It can’t be changed, and it shouldn’t be. After all, Isabella seems happy enough. She’s always smiling, and she doesn’t have to work too hard, and Mara doesn’t hurt her. Not really.

Well, okay. The stuff they do in the bedroom…plenty of people do that. All kinds of people do that with their partners, and it isn’t anything Mara needs to be ashamed of. She makes sure Isabella has a good time, too, and it isn’t like the Box Babe ever tells her no. They’re programmed to like stuff like that. Mara knows they are. More than that, she knows Jude – or knew Jude, back when she was a person. She knows Isabella’s body, all the little signs. She knows that the pain might make Isabella’s lip tremble, but the pleasure is what makes her close her eyes. Mara reminds herself of that and feels sure again, steady. She feels drawn to Isabella again, wanting to hold her close and make sure she knows that she’s Mara’s, Mara’s, Mara’s. Pets like that. The security. Feeling owned.

As for the rest of it? The rest just kind of…slips. It makes sense, for Isabella to call her owner ‘Miss Mara.’ With all the checkups, it’s safer for both of them. The same is true for like…sitting on the furniture. And, okay, sure, Mara was a bitch during dinner, but Jamie’s not the smartest in any room she’s in. Mara needed to send a message. She has Handler Collins to send one to Isabella, but Mara herself is the only one around to train Jamie.

The only real catch is Violet.

Mara’s girlfriend is gorgeous and interesting and super convenient, though it still makes Mara wince to think about it so cavalierly. Isabella’s fun, sure, but Violet has a brain, and can go places. With both of them around, Mara’s like, on cloud nine. The problem is that Violet is into pet lib. It’s how the two of them met. Since then, Mara’s stopped going to the meetings, because, obviously, it’s too suspicious. Besides, she doesn’t have friends in the local group, nor can she make them, given her day job. Violet still goes all the time, because she’s trained as an EMT, and the local group needs her, but Mara wishes to god she’d stop. They’ve settled the argument about Isabella a thousand times, gone round and round and always, Violet concedes, exhausted, that Mara is right. But the arguments themselves make Mara uncomfortable and edgy and frankly angry. It’s hard for her to be as patient with Isabella afterwards, as understanding. On her grimmest days, Mara has to roll her eyes at that dark irony. Violet would be sick if she knew what consequences her pretty little ideals had in the real world.

But at least Mara has Isabella to comfort her, and a beautiful spotless apartment, and a tidy paycheck at the end of every month. At least she wins every argument, and the arguments only come every few weeks, anyway. Days pass, and then weeks pass, and Mara feels more and more sure of herself. Isabella is safe, and she’s here, with Mara, where she belongs. They’re happy together. It’s sad that Jude’s gone, that she’ll never come back, but in a way, getting a fresh start, a clean slate, is kind of…it’s kind of nice. Mara lets herself be lulled right into feeling happy, feeling secure, and never thinking that any of this might be wrong.

Then comes the day that Mara’s walking down the hallway and she runs into Handler Atkins with a trainee.

They must be going to see Director Hammond for some reason, because they’re not supposed to be on this side of the facility. When Mara sees the boy, she physically draws back, unable to repress the visceral reaction.

The boy trails behind Tracy Atkins, taller and broader but far more hesitant. The handler trots along energetically, boots clicking along the floor, and behind her, her trainee shuffles along barefoot, head bowed. He’s in the usual black shorts and white shirt, and there’s a black leash leading from Atkins’ hand to the collar around his neck.

“Hey, Doc!” Atkins smiles broadly, and Mara forces a smile. “C’mere! Take a look at my boy!”

Swallowing, Mara steps forward, scanning the boy as she does. She can’t resist the urge, and Handler Atkins asked her to, anyway.

The boy behind her is tall, probably six foot. Mara really shouldn’t call him a boy – he’s likely in his late twenties, maybe even older than her – but the nervous, vulnerable, vaguely blank look on his face makes him seem much younger. Dark eyes, dark hair, cut close to his scalp. Handler Atkins tugs him up right in front of Mara, but even as he gets within a few feet of her, his eyes stay fixed on the floor.

“He, uh, looks like he’s almost ready.” Mara tries to keep her voice mild, maybe even impressed. It’s, well, it is impressive. In a fucked up way. But look at Tracy Atkins, this tiny five two woman leading around a six foot man on a leash. Mara smiles, for a second, at the ridiculousness of it, and she can tell that Handler Atkins appreciates it.

“He is.” Handler Atkins coos at her boy, tickling under his chin. He stands stock still and takes it, head bowed, hands folded in front of him. “You’re almost ready to go home, aren’t you, honey? Aren’t you?”

There’s a mean little smirk on Handler Atkins face, like she’s making a joke that Mara doesn’t understand. She jabs her trainee in the side, and he winces. “C’mon, 121, aren’t you going to answer me?”

The boy stays silent, and Mara frowns. That’s not right. Especially at this point in training, the trainee should be jumping to please his handler, should absolutely answer such an easy question.

Handler Atkins glances, snickering, from the silent, withdrawn boy to the confusion on Mara’s face. Finally, she relents. “Chin up, 121.” While Mara watches, Atkins runs her finger over a livid red scar on the boy’s throat, one that had been concealed by his dropped chin. “Prospective paid extra for a Domestic that can be counted on for…discretion, you know?”

Brow wrinkling, Mara stares at the boy, then Atkins, and then horrible understanding hits her. “Oh my god, the vocal cords?”

“It’s a neat little procedure! Only took him two weeks to recover. He’s a trooper, my 121.”

“Yeah…wow.” Mara feels faint, feels sick. This man – this boy – is, is never going to speak again. They’ve – this woman who sits in Mara’s office once every two weeks, she’s taken that from him. Forever.

That day, Mara puts a sign on her door and sits in her office all day, trying to think. A few times she puts pen to paper, but she doesn’t write anything, just scribbles aimless doodles. That night, with Isabella, she’s rougher than she’s ever been.

For the next three weeks, Mara takes long walks through the training division of the facility, until she can look a brutalized trainee in the eyes and not feel anything at all.

#whump #whump writing #wru #bbu #box boy #box babe #noncon body modification #intimate whumper #caretaker to whumper #training whump #mentions of noncon #female whumper

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jonspurpleskirt · 4 years

Text

Perks of Beholding

Summary: Jon gets distracted from paranoia by learning he can now understand animals. This somehow solves all their problems. Or: Jon turns into a Disney princess the fic.

No Warnings apply. It’s just fluff. Heavily inspired by this lovely TMA comic: ___

It started with the Admiral. Jon was about to read the first statement his mysterious benefactor had sent when he heard a small "Jon!" from the kitchen. It had a strange, rumbling undertone to it and sounded as though a human was trying to imitate a cat.

Jon startled so hard at the unfamiliar voice that he send the papers he had in his hands flying. Instinctively grabbing the tape recorder he sprung up.

"Who's there!"

The Admiral came out of the kitchen, rubbing against the doorframe and purring. "Jon! It's time for a midday snack."

Jon blinked hard, wondering if he had lost his mind entirely, while a much louder voice was screeching in delight.

"Admiral! I can understand you!"

"Give me food Jon, I beg of you. I'm famished."

The Admiral jumped up on his lap, claws snagging on the worm hole riddled arm. It should have already been healed, but Jon continued picking on it.

"Ah..ha. Careful please. I'm damaged goods."

"My apologies. Now food and then cuddles? I crave attention."

Statement forgotten Jon spend the rest of the afternoon debating with Georgies cat about the pros and cons of feeding the Admiral without Georgies consent, sneaking snacks anyway and cuddling on the couch.

To say that Georgie was bemused when she got home was an understatement. "You can speak cat now. Are you shitting me?"

"No. It's amazing! Georgie this might be the only good thing to have happened to me in years!"

Georgie rolled his eyes, grinning. "Don't be so dramatic. So what? Are cats really planning to overthrow us lowly humans? What is he saying?"

"I'm pretty sure he wouldn't tell me if that was the case. Admiral is there anything you'd like to say to Georgie?"

The Admiral, who hadn't budged from Jons chest since after he had been fed was staring straight at him. "Tell her I love her."

Jon turned to Georgie with the most serious face she had ever seen on him. "He wants you to know that he loves you." He announced gravely. And then, after a short pause. "But he loves me more."

"I didn't say that."

"He didn't say that!"

"No, but I know."

The Admiral bit at his finger and then immediately licked the raw skin as an apology. "Unruly kitten."

"I'm not a kitten!"

"You know I'm not sure if the noises you make are cute or creepy."

~~~

His language comprehension skills didn't only focus on cat speak, Jon found out soon after. He had been brave enough to step out of Georgies flat to go for a quick walk (and buy some cat food that Georgie refused to get for the Admiral), when a voice from above cooed at him.

"So shiny!"

Jon froze at the croaky exclamation, scanning his environment and trying not to panic. There was no police nearby. Which was good. But also bad if this was going to turn out to be a robbery. There weren't any people around at all, actually. Jon had gone out at an ungodly hour as to avoid big crowds and thus being seen.

The only being he could make out was a crow perched atop a lantern, gazing down at him. Jon pointed at himself. "Are you speaking to me?"

The crow tilted its head. "It would seem so, human."

"Oh. What is it that you find so shiny?"

It considered his question for a moment, then flew down. Jon flinched when the bird landed on his shoulder, a sharp beak tapping the hair clasp Jon had used to keep his mess of a hair out of his face.

"This. I'd like to have it."

Jon itched to stroke the black feathers that caressed his cheek. A childish excitement that he hadn't felt since uni thrumming in his chest.

"You can have it. Just let me take it out first."

The crow hopped on his other shoulder, nibbling at his scarf while Jon gently untangled the clasp from his locks, careful not to jostle his new friend too much.

"There we go. Here."

"Thank you. This kindness will not be forgotten."

Jon watched the bird fly off with his possession and wished his human encounters could go so smoothly.

Word did get around fast that he was a friend of corvids and provider of shiny things. Wherever he went at least two or three crows or ravens would appear within minutes chatting him up. Most of his spare change went to them and soon he found himself buying little trinkets for them to carry off.

In the weeks that followed Jon got out more and more, keeping to parks at unreasonable hours, driven to converse with all kinds of wildlife. He hadn't touched most of the statements he had been send, too fixated on the new, harmless ability he had been granted. This had improved Georgies and his relationship immensely. She had been worried that he would obsess over who could have murdered Leitner. Him going out and talking to various animals might not have been any less strange, but at least it felt harmless enough to her that she left him to it, sometimes even tagging along.

Jon had always felt it easier to communicate with animals. And this didn't change with his new ability. Interactions were simple and their stories were interesting, with a perspective foreign enough to catch his interest. Animals viewed the world rather differently, had different priorities and had less behavioral rules that Jon could mess up.

And they weren't shy to seek out his touch once they got to know him. More often than not these days Georgie would find him with a squirrel draped around his neck, a bird pulling his hair or a cat in his arms. He had even tried to talk to some insects once, but told Georgie with a look of disappointment that they didn't have the mind for idle chatter.

Like humans not every animal was friendly or even a good conversationalist. There was a white and grey pigeon nesting close to Georgies flat, who made for dreadful smalltalk and couldn't hold a thought to save its life. And Clara the sparrow loved to spew a litany of curse words at him, because she found they sounded funny.

In the end, however, his curiousity to learn more about his abilities led him to check out more of the statements and eventually, try and contact Jude Perry. They met in a quaint little café, opting to sit outside because of Judes flamability and Jons want to have a better chance of escape should anything go wrong.

Jon didn't shake Judes hand when she first asked. But after her statement and her willingness to give him the contact of an acquaintance he felt he had to. He reached out to take her hand when a crow dived down and crashed between the two. The ball of black feathers shook itself and snapped sharply at Jons hand.

"What do you think you are doing you lanky idiot! Do you not have any instincts left in your body! What are you?! A fledgling? Shame on you! You nearly gave us a heart attack!"

"I'm sorry, but you really should fly away. Your feathers are beginning to sizzle- Ow!"

The crow had squawked at him in a rather unbecoming manner for such a lovely lady, but had heeded his warning and flown onto his shoulder, opting to snap at his ear and pull it to get him to leave the firey lady, cussing him out all the while.

"I get it, I get it! Please stop assaulting my ear."

"What."

Momentarily having forgotten his audience in order to get the furious crow out of his hair, Jon send Jude an apologetic smile.

"Sorry. Marah seems to be quite against me shaking your hand. Ow. Would you stop that I'm not doing anything!"

"You can speak with animals?" Not even Jude - I'll burn everything you love to the ground - Perry seemed to be immune to the craziness of the situation. Her grin had turned from feral to amused. The air around her had gotten colder as well.

"Ah, yes. Wasn't Gertrude also able to do so?"

Jon had finally been able to get Marah out of his hair and was cradling her against his chest, patting down her ruffled feathers and let her play with the shiny decorative coins that hung from his scarf.

"I don't think I've ever seen her doing that. But then everyone Becomes differently."

"Becomes? Ah... right sorry, no further questions. I... I guess I've always had more interest in animals then humans. Could that... I mean that could be the reason."

"Could." She echoed him, eyes fixed on the crow nestled in his arms.

A flutter of wings made both of them look up and startle at the sight of dozens of black birds perched along the roofs staring down at them.

"Did you call them?" She hissed.

"No. It's not like I can control them. I occasionally give them stuff? And they make great conversation partners. I guess they're just pretty protective of me?"

"Fledgling." Marah huffed, winding one of his long locks around her beak and tugging.

"Ow. They call me fledgling for some reason."

Jude snorted into her boiling coffee. "Yeah that checks out." Her gaze skimmed the dark wall of feathers above them. People around them had become uncomfortable as well, hurrying to get out of the area. The waiter was giving them nervous glances, too.

"If it would ease your mind I doubt they'll try to attack you if you play nice?"

"You sound awfully unsure of that."

Jon shrugged as best as he could without jostling Marah too much. "I'm still not sure how all of this works. That's why I'm looking for other avatars."

Jude shook her head and laughed. "A Watcher not Knowing something. The world never ceases to surprise me." She took out her phone, which had a cracked display, the plastic scorched where her fingers touched, but miraculously was still functioning. "Give me your number I'll forward you some of my contacts."

"Thank you!"

"Don't. You'll pay me in cute pet pictures. Once weekly."

Jon smiled, that sounded like a much better price to pay than a scorched hand. "I'll do that. Any favourites?"

"Owls." Jude said without hesitation, then blinked and scowled at him. "You'll have to get a grip on that if you don't want Mike to throw you out the window."

"I'm sorry. I really don't mean to do... whatever I'm doing."

"Watch your wording then. Don't ask questions or whatever."

Jon sighed, holding out his phone for her to copy his number. "Right."

He bought Marah her favourite pastry as a thank you for saving him and promised to get her that pretty ring she had seen. It was quite expensive, but Jon thought it was worth it.

~~~

Jon was a bundle of frayed nerves when he went to visit Mike Crew. They had written back and forth a bit over the days and no matter how much Jon tried to coax Mike into meeting him somewhere more open the Avatar of the Vast never budged.

So here he was, sans crow support, knocking on the door of a serial killer. The young man that welcomed him in was only shorter than him by maybe an inch or two. He had donned a fake smile and was asking if he wanted some tea.

Jon didn't. He had a set of questions, hungered for Mikes statement. But Judes warning stopped him from immediately going for it. Drinking bland tea he didn't want was probably the better alternative to being thrown out a window. Not that that was still a very real possibility afterwards.

"I'd love to. Thank you."

Mike seemed surprised that he had taken him up on the offer. "Huh. Well then. Come in. I only have Lavender and Peppermint, any preferences?"

Jon tried to distract himself from the very obvious scar on Mikes neck by taking in the spacious flat he had just entered. "Peppermint sounds nice."

"Peppermint it is, then."

Jon trailed after him into the kitchen, a bit lost on what the etiquette was when being a first time guest. Was he supposed to wait somewhere? Go to the couch? Was he even allowed to take a seat before being told?

At least he had gotten better at small talk. True Mike Crew wasn't an animal, but Jon had found out that being nice was actually well received by humans and avatars alike. (What a shocker.)

"You have a lovely apartment."

Mike shot him what looked like a genuine grin. "Thank you! A gift from Simon. He's taking good care of all the new Vast avatars. Tends to try and adopt them, but I quite like my autonomy and the family parties he throws are dreadful."

Jon couldn't help but pout. The terminology didn't confuse him as much anymore. Jude had deigned to explain that to him via text, with a lot of gloating and bad puns. "I wish the Eye would be so welcoming. I swear for an entity that's all about knowing it doesn't tell me shit."

"Tough. You sure you work for the Eye and not the Web? Here. Come on don't just stand there like a bean pole the couch is a perfectly good place to sit."

"Good lord I hope so. I hate spiders."

"Cheers to that."

Not asking questions was hard. Jon was an impatient man, endlessly curious. And something within him craved Mikes statement. He opted to be honest with Mike about that, telling him without turning it into a burning question and the Avatar nodded in understanding.

"Alright I'll tell you my story then. Because you were nice enough not to ask and we short people should work together."

Jon hadn't been prepared for the sad tale that had been Mikes life. It seemed that he had only been able to somewhat settle down in the last few years. Being on the run for so long, Jon could only imagine what it did to a persons mind. He was only being wanted for murder for a bit now and the stress and paranoia was already killing him.

"Huh." Mike blinked when he was done, tea gone cold in his hands. "That was actually pretty therapeutic. I'm not opposed to doing this again."

They talked idly for a while after, Mike far less aggressive in his attitude than Jude, although he did lightly threaten him once or twice and gave him a horrible case of vertigo when Jon accidently insulted his taste in books.

Their conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door and Mikes eyes narrowed. "I thought we agreed you'd come alone."

"I did." Jon defended himself, fear easily flooding back into his body.

They both stood and carefully inched towards the door. Just as Mike was about to open it, mouth already open to scold whoever had dared to interrupt him, a chorus of loud hisses, meows and a surprised shout made them freeze.

"Jon! A Hunter is here! We've got her handled. Run!"

Not thinking Jon snatched Mikes wrist and pulled him away from the entrance to the flat. The floor underneath him seemed to give way, but Mike at least hadn't fully thrown him into his domain. He dragged them both deeper into the flat. "Shit that's Tonner."

"Who?"

"The police. I ah... might be wanted for murder at the moment. I thought I've been descreet enough. But apparently not. Sorry."

He didn't like that Mikes eyes gleamed with a newfound respect after hearing that. "Oh yeah. I forgot that murder was illegal for a moment. Who did you kill?"

"I didn't." Jon scowled. "I was framed. It was Jurgen Leitner."

"Leitner?!"

"Hmhm. Turns out he was hiding below the institute the whole time. Honestly he was a rather pathetic old man."

Mike tsked. "Good riddance."

"Quite."

Mike eyed the window as the cursing from outside continued. They both flinched when there was a gunshot. Jon lurched forward, running towards the sound, only to be harshly janked back with surprising force. "What the fuck are you doing?!"

"She's shooting the cats! I need to save them!" There might have been a bit of static in his voice, fueled by the panic.

An inhuman growl came from outside and a layered voice shouting "Stay back!".

"That's a Hunter out there!"

Jon only let out a pathetic whine. His cats. He couldn't leave his cats! But the arm around his waist didn't let him go. Mike cursed behind him.

"You're crazy. And weird. You owe me for this."

"I can pay in cute animal pictures."

Mike snorted and let Jon go, leaving him to open the door. As soon as Daisy was in sight there was a loud Pop and a yelp, then she was gone. Jon knelt down in the mass of hissing fur, hands stroking over every body he could find, frantically looking for injuries on any of his babies. They came to him immediately, butting against his hands, chanting "Jon!" and started to purr up a storm.

"I think she just fired a warning shot." Mike mused, pointing towards the ceiling.

Jon heaved a huge sigh. "Oh thank god."

Mike tilted his head at the strange display before him. "Are those free of fleas?"

"Of course! They all are perfectly well behaved, clean angels."

Mike rolled his eyes. "Cool. They can come in then. I'm sure they just saved both of our lifes. Might as well reward them a bit."

And that was how Jon joined an impromptu sleepover at a supernatural serial killers flat, drowned in cats and delightfully tipsy, because Mike insisted on drinking to not dying.

The next morning greeted them with more knocking, which was nearly drowned out by the screams of the cats begging for food. Mike shot him a tired look.

"I deal with the cats. You open the door. You only presumably killed one guy. I'm sure they won't shoot you on sight."

Jon really didn't think that logic was sound, but decided against arguing with Mike, who turned out to not be a morning person at all. Some of the cats came with him as he greeted Basira, who frowned at his entourage.

"I didn't know Mike Crew was secretly a cat lady."

"Ah no, that would be me."

"Right. That sounds more believable. I just came by to let you know that you're in the clear. Elias Bouchard is the murderer. We have evidence now."

"Cool." Came the nonplussed reply from behind Jon.

Both avatars (could Jon count himself as an avatar at this point?) stared the police woman down. Jon unsure how to either continue or end the conversation and Mike probably trying to glare her to death. By the looks of it Basira had suddenly developed a very bad case of vertigo.

She stood her ground, though, clearing her throat and staring right back. "Would you know where Daisy is? She came her to investigate yesterday and I didn't hear from her since."

Mike giggled, Jon sighed and the cats purred in triumph, looking smug. This did not reassure Basira in the slightest.

"Your feral mutt was making a racket outside my flat, Officer."

"She was shooting at the cats." Jon was still upset about that, bending down to cradle one of them against his chest. The good boy immediately began licking his chin to soothe him.

Basira just about held herself back from snarling at them, keeping her cold, professional mask in place. "And where is she now?"

Jon glanced over to Mike in question. The Avatar of the Vast grinned. "Enjoying a long skydiving trip!"

"I'd like to have her back, please. We'll need her to confront Elias."

"We?"

Basira shot him a glare. "Yes." There was no room for arguement there.

Jons shoulders slumped and Mike patted his head in faux sympathy. There was a scream from outside.

"There. Done. See you around Archivist. Send pictures not Cops."

"If I survive this." Jon grumbled, the cats trailing behind him as he left with officer Hussain.

Daisy met them halfway down the stairs and nearly lunged at Jon. Basira took the whole car ride to calm her down. A task that was made even harder by Jon, who was unconsciously bristling with static, still very much furious about Daisy trying to harm his babies. No matter how many times either of the women explained that they would never and that Daisy hadn't aimed at any of them, Jon could not be calmed. This was the only reason why Basira allowed him to take a huge orange tabby into the car.

Really.

#tma #jonathan sims #jude perry #mike crew #fanfiction #fluff #my writing #i will not stop writing until jon has befriended everyone #i just need this guy to be happy okay #also on ao3

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